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#it was good until it wasn't
iclout · 1 year
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charmercharm3r · 2 years
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F&MU
LFX
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wc: 9.4K
Synopsis: He'd do anything for you. Anything except screw you so hard until you forget your own name. Guess it was time for plan B.
warnings: smut, dom!felix, sub!reader, soft sex turned rough, unprotected sex (seriously wrap before u tap), sex talk or something like that, after care, he's really just softie tbh, can't really think of anymore warnings lmk if I missed something!
Part 2 of my 8 part series based off the album, “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t” by Kehlani, where each member of Stray Kids will have a song dedicated to them and whatever toxic relationship I can come up with.
-
It was borderline catatonic, you knew that. Every argument that made him angry enough to storm out of the house, you sometimes did on purpose. From the outside it might’ve seemed like you and Felix hated one another, but that wasn’t the case. He was the love of your life, but he was so gentle, too gentle with you. As much as you pissed each other off, he never yelled at you, never screamed, never thought about hurting you in any way. This applied to every aspect of your relationship, including in the bedroom. Your relationship consisted of lots of banter, lots of bickering, and even more sex. 
It was the norm that one of you would only have to give the other a look and off to the bedroom you went. It was both of your love languages, his being physical touch and yours being words of affirmation. Though the words of affirmation presented itself much differently than any normal way. Outside of the bedroom, no onlooker would’ve thought you and Felix were a couple with the way you teased each other. Behind closed doors, he spoke to you like you were a goddess that could grant him any wish he desired.
You bickered at one another like you’d been married for years, but no matter how heated the argument got, you never let each other go to bed angry. This was a promise you’d made in the early stages of your relationship, and neither of you planned on breaking it anytime soon. Tonight’s particular argument was about the way he’d forgotten to tell you he’d be coming home later than usual, missing your nightly dinner. He was generally pretty good about letting you know to put his food in some tupperware to save for later, however it was becoming more frequent that sending you a text had slipped his mind. “I did all of this for you, the least you could do was tell me you weren’t coming back to eat it,” you said as you packed the meal you’d cooked into a plastic tub.
“I’m sorry. How many times do I have to say it? I wasn’t planning on staying so late,” Felix’s tone showed he was tired of the same lecture for the past week. He watched as you manhandled the dishes on the stove, annoyingly tossing them into the sink with a loud clang. You leaned over the sink to look at him, standing there with a stupid look on his face because he knew all you ever asked for was communication. Your lack of response to his apology had him almost foaming at the mouth in agitation, “I could’ve not come home all together.” “You might as well not even live here anymore, if that’s how you’re gonna be thinking,” you raised an eyebrow at him, stalking towards your shared bedroom. Felix wasn’t sure what you were up to, so he followed closely behind you, stopping in the doorway when he saw you reach into the closet and pull out a duffle bag. “You’re leaving?!” He exclaimed.
Walking to the dresser, you opened his side. “Nope. This is my house. You’re leaving.”
You’d never kicked him out before, he half expected you to just be bluffing as you shoved whatever of his clothes you could find into the bag. “You’re kidding,” Felix said in disbelief. Only shaking your head no, you zipped the half filled bag and dropped at his feet. Felix was at a loss for words, eyes glued to your back that disappeared into the ensuite bathroom. You reappeared seconds later with his toothbrush in your hand. The powerful stride you led was enough proof to him that you weren’t joking. Stopping in front of him, you shoved his toothbrush into his chest, making him cup his hand over yours and stumble back a bit. “I’m not leaving, are you crazy?”
“Am I? For wanting my boyfriend to be able to tell me if he wasn’t going to be here? For hoping that you’d care about me just enough to let me know I didn’t have to go through the trouble of cooking for- apparently- one?” Your tone was sarcastic. He hated that.
“It was a mistake!”
“One you keep saying you’re going to fix. I’m tired, Felix,” your eyes dropped as you turned your back to him again, walking towards the bed.
“You’re not sleeping yet. We need to fix this.”
You untucked the covers and climbed beneath them, “I’m not sleeping. I just need a breather.”
“Why aren’t you yelling if it makes you so mad? Why don’t you scream in my face and tell me to fuck off? Why don’t you-”
“Why do you want me to?!” Your voice raised ever so slightly. Sitting up in the bed, you rubbed your eyes. “I’ve never asked you for anything except one thing! And you can’t even do that. Fucking pathetic.”
That was apparently his last straw of the night, Felix bent down and shoved the toothbrush into the duffle bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He turned on his heel and left the bedroom. You heard him grab his keys, then the door opening and slamming shut. It hadn’t occurred to you that he might actually be considering moving out, or breaking up with you entirely. Truth be told, it would’ve been easier for him to get rid of you all together seeing as you were only capable of annoying him lately. Had you gone too far this time? You let out a deep sigh, falling back into the pillow and shutting your eyes.
You didn’t sleep. You couldn’t when you knew he was out there, angry at you. Normally, it didn’t bother you that he was out and you were stuck at home, but this time felt different. He’d taken up on your offer by taking the bag of clothes with him wherever he was going, meaning he wasn’t coming home. It had been hours since he’d left, the clock now reading 2:30 a.m. With a guy as handsome as Felix, he could easily be anywhere getting his dick wet if he really was through with you and your antics. This had you pacing in the living room, biting your thumb as thoughts of his possible infidelity flooded your imagination. All he really had to do was bat his pretty lashes at someone and they’d be on their knees for him the way you always were.
You’d thought the sound of the door opening was a ghost time lapse, something that happened so often when you were alone and so used to a routine, so you didn’t bother turning to face the entryway where your boyfriend stood, watching you stalk back and forth. His eyes were glossy, cheeks red from the cold night air. He wasn’t sure how long he watched you work yourself into a mess over his absence. Finally, he spoke up, “you’re gonna cause a draft.” Your body jolted upon hearing his voice, freezing and looking at him stood with the bag at his feet.
“You came back,” tears welled in your eyes. You never cried during arguments, nor after, but the fear of possibly losing him had you rethinking all the bullshit you did just to get him to fuck you harder when in reality, you probably could’ve just asked.
Felix watched your eyes dart between him and the duffle bag, “I didn’t take it with me.” Upon closer inspection, you saw it wasn’t even zipped up, still sat next to the pile of your and his shoes. “What?” your voice almost a whisper.
“You didn’t see I left it?” he cracked a small laugh at your ignorance. “We don’t go to bed mad. I couldn’t take it.”
Burning in your eyes made you want to cry even more, but the sad look on his face when you spoke your next words tied the knot, “I thought you weren’t coming back.” Felix kicked off his shoes immediately and ran to embrace you, warm and sweet. You’d finally let yourself cry, sobbing into his jacket that was much too thin for this weather. His arms around your neck kept you firmly pressed to his chest as your body shuddered. “I always come back,” he mumbled into your hair, pressing light kisses to the top of your head. He let you unwind like this, your hands gripping onto his shirt as you let out more silent tears. After a few more moments like this you pulled away, sniffling as you said, “I thought you went somewhere- I- I don’t know where but I thought you might’ve met someone and-”
“Might’ve gone to someone else?” His heart broke as you crumbled before him. He’d never even considered the thought, there was no place he’d rather be. You couldn’t look him in the eyes when you’d just accused him of cheating on you. “My love, I’m sorry I put you through that,” he reached out to cup your cheeks, forcing you to make eye contact. “And I’m sorry for the past couple of weeks, you were right.” Felix brought his lips to your cheeks, kissing away any stray tears. He didn’t stop, he kept leaving burning touches along your face with his lips and no intent to stop. This made you giggle and shut your eyes as his grip on your jaw tightened, holding you in place to start kissing down your neck. “You’re too good to me,” he breathed out between kisses, hands making their way down the sides of your body and slipping slightly under your shirt. His hands were warm and tender as he touched you.
You hadn’t meant to think out loud, but before you realized it had already been said, “am I?”
“What?” Felix put a pause on his kissing rampage to look at you again, though you didn’t look back in hopes it would deter the conversation. He pressed you again, “are you what, baby?”
Looks like there was no turning away. “Am I good enough for you?” If he could’ve Felix would’ve burst into flames right there with the sadness that clouded your eyes. He didn’t know what to say, talking was always your area of expertise. All he could come up with was, “more than enough,” before crashing his lips to yours. There were no other words exchanged between the time he kissed you and the time it took to get you both naked and in the bedroom. The way he showed you love was always through lingering touches, warm embraces, and even hotter kisses. But what he loved most was hair pulling. Not in a rough way, but when his head was between your legs and it proved how much you were enjoying yourself because of him, such as now.
Felix’s hair was of complete disarray, black locks sticking in every direction as you kneaded your fingers through it. You weren’t sure how long he’d been at it, you were hardly paying attention to how many orgasms he’d brought you to with his mouth and fingers, could’ve been minutes or could’ve been hours. You were panting and sweating at this point, your legs tossed over Felix’s shoulders as tried not to clench your thighs too tightly around his head. You were on the brink of another high as he curled his fingers at just the right angle to rub oh so nicely along your walls. What really did it for you was the way his lips would suck in your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. You’d been together long enough that he had the exact formula to make your body convulse down to a T. One good, hard suck and a couple more strokes of his fingers, you saw white and your eyes rolled back, “third times a charm, baby. Are you okay?” You could hear his voice, though not really understand his question. The only response Felix got was a few incoherent groans, though it was enough for him to stand up and pull his boxers down with a deep laugh.
As you were coming down from your high, Felix was already rubbing his hands into the sides of your thighs soothingly, peppering light kisses across your collarbone. As soon as you could open your eyes again, you wrapped your arms around his neck and hooked your legs to pull his hips in closer. This earned you another throaty chuckle, “relax, baby. I’m not going anywhere. Wanna take my time with you.” The sultriness of his voice in your ear sent shocks straight back down to your core, arousing you all over again.
You loved him with your whole being, but you didn’t want him to take his time or be gentle anymore. With how earth shattering the last three orgasms were for you, you didn’t want him to be soft. But how were you to ask your boyfriend, who couldn’t even kill the spider in your bathroom a month ago, to treat you as if you were less than the ground he walked on? You couldn’t, not right now at least. So you let him take you softly, painstakingly slow, making love as if you were the only person that could help him to produce enough love for the world.
He kept his strokes long and deep, pulling and pushing in from tip to base again and again. Both of your moans filled the empty space of the room. Your walls fluttered deliciously around him when he moaned particularly loud, and Felix figured out something new that makes you tick. Kissing between the valley of your breasts and up the center of your neck, he leaned in close to your ear and said in a tone lower than you’ve ever heard him speak, “you were made for me.” The newfound register of his voice made your body tingle, your eyes screwed tighter than they already were as your heels dug into the small of his back. Felix chuckled at your reaction, “you like this, love? You like how deep I am inside you? If I came right now, it probably wouldn’t spill out. You pussy sucks me in so good.” You clenched so tight, you thought you were actually pulling him deeper into you. Felix didn’t censor himself anymore that night, letting you hear exactly how your cunt made him feel. 
Your bodies were drenched in sweat at this point, fingernails dragging down his back as he muttered the filthiest of things to you. “You’re mine, this pussy is mine. All for me,” he rambled one last time. You were so incredibly close, all it took was him biting into your neck for you to contract your walls and tip into your last high of the night. You brought Felix with you as your hands pulled at the roots of his hair, finishing into you with the deepest and loudest moan you’d heard all night. He fell onto you with a huff, calming himself enough before gently pulling out and planting a kiss to your forehead.
Felix rushed towards the bathroom, you’d heard him shuffle around and run the sink before shutting it off and making his way back to you, laid out in relaxation on your back. The walls weren’t spinning, but you definitely felt lighter than you had in the past few days. Felix gave you another kiss on the cheek as he spread your knees, wiping away any left over residue. The contact of the wet towel made you flinch. “I know I’m sorry. But hey, there really isn’t anything spilling out,” he said, which made you laugh a little harder than it should’ve, making a tear roll down your cheek. “Babe, why are you crying?” Felix asked through the short burst of laughter.
“I don’t know… it was really good,” you replied honestly. It was really good, so good that it gave you a taste of what you could have, only making you want more. It made you feel selfish for even wasting a tear on the subject. Felix was just as confused as you were about your emotions, “then?”
He tossed the towel into the hamper, jumping into his side of the bed and sitting up to look at you. You felt like you couldn’t look at him, embarrassed by the thought of having to tell your extremely loving and sensitive boyfriend about your fantasies. As you stared at the ceiling, Felix rolled onto his side and leaned on his forearm, listening intently. You were both still butt naked, so he pulled the long-forgotten sheets to cover your recovering bodies. He sensed your hesitance, “you can tell me anything.”
“I know I can,” more hot tears started to form, but you quickly rubbed your face to make them stop. “But that’s why it’s even more embarrassing…”
“Embarrassing to admit you have a voice kink?” Felix said it like it was casual conversation. It should be, sex talk between partners. You were used to telling him how wonderful he was in bed, but not used to telling him what he could be doing.
You nodded, still staring at the ceiling. “And maybe a biting kink?” He kept pressing, remembering the little things he did tonight that made you feel things you usually didn’t. You weren’t sure how to respond, biting your lower lip as your eyebrows scrunched. Felix readjusted himself to lay on his back, gesturing for you to lay on his chest. You compliedall to easily. “Is there more I should know about?” He said just above a whisper, running his fingers lightly along the top of your head. 
“Can you not look at me when I say this?” you buried your head deeper into his chest, cheeks heating up.
“Will that make you more comfortable?” You nodded again, closing your eyes. “Okay, not looking.”
“I…” you sucked in a deep breath, “I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t think and manhandle me until I’m crying and choke me and slap me and make me beg-“
“Woah wait-“
“Lix just be rough with me. I just want-“
“For me to treat you like shit?” You could hear the amusement in his voice, like he expected it. The change of tone gave you a sudden confidence boost, shooting up and looking him dead in the eyes. “Yeah.” 
He wore a shit eating grin. “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind,” was all he said before you back down to cuddle once again. You felt somewhat relieved by his reaction, though the nervousness still lingered as you recalled the way his voice sounded not too long ago, deep and controlling and so utterly sexy. But you were too spent, too tired to even consider another round to see if your boyfriend really did pick up what you were putting down. Just as your eyes began to close, a rumbling in Felix’s chest made you peer up at him. He was giggling, but his eyes were shut. “What?”
“Heh, you’re so funny.” He kissed the top of your head and flipped you on your back, turning both of you on your sides to spoon you to sleep.
It had been a while since that last argument, about three months. The two of you were happy and content, though still bickering as usual. Neither of you brought up the discussion, only implementing it slowly into your sex lives little by little. It started with tighter hair pulling and light slapping of your ass every now and then, progressing to a bit of choking then slapping your face a bit, eventually he was okay with you scratching up his back while he bit love marks across your skin. This is as far as it had gotten until today.
Felix was at the studio with Chan and Minho, recording some stuff they’d been working on. They’d been at it for a couple of hours before deciding to take a well deserved break. Felix and Minho sat on the couch of the crowded room while Chan was in his usual chair at the desk. “I envy you,” Minho said, looking at the youngest.
“Why?” Felix questioned, confused as to what he was referring to. Taking off his hat, Minho ran a hand through his hair before sticking it back on. “‘Cause you and Y/N. Your relationship looks so easy to maintain. You fight, fuck, and make up like its Maybelline.”
“How do you know what Maybelline is?” Chan chuckled, turning around now interested in the conversation.
“Unimportant and besides the point,” he replied, “I’m jealous.” Felix stared at his hands, unable to understand why he brought it up.
“I mean, we don’t just fuck and make up. We talk it out first,” Felix defended himself. Though it wasn’t enough to convince Minho.
“You do? Cus if I remember correctly, she almost kicked you out last time.”
“She didn’t mean it,” he said sternly. And Felix was right, you didn’t mean it. It was just a one time thing done in the heat of the moment.
“You guys haven’t fought in a while, right?” Chan asked, a look of genuine concern on his face. Felix shook his head, “no. But the last time we did we-”
“Fucked and made up,” Minho shouted, amused by the flush of red that crowded the younger’s cheeks and ears. They rolled their eyes at Minho’s enthusiasm for Felix’s sex life. It wasn’t anything new for them, talking about each other’s flings and steamy nights, but Felix felt something different in the air when he remembered the way you described him wanting to switch up the way he treated you in the bedroom. He wasn’t sure how else to go about it other than the obvious stunts he was already pursuing.
The silence from Felix was winning enough for Minho to move his attention to his phone, Chan spinning back around in his chair. He pondered asking his older, much more experienced friends about it, almost sure that either of them could’ve given him a more than helpful answer. The only thing stopping him was his own embarrassment, Felix understood why you were so shy to speak up about your fantasies in the first place. Eventually, your fantasies became his. “Hyung?” Chan and Minho both responded, looking at him. He suddenly felt even more anxious. “You both have… had a lot of sex… right?” Minho looked up, moving his fingers like he was counting, then nodded, the oldest shrugged and cocked his head at his computer. “I- I think Y/N wants something different… but I don’t know- I’m not sure how- I’m starting to think she does things on purpose…”
Both older boys blinked at Felix in confusion. “Like?” Chan pressed. “Like… you see how we talk to each other. Sometimes I think maybe…”
“Oh my god, she does it on purpose!” Minho yelled as his eyes went wide, forgetting that they were technically at work. Felix jumped and shoved his palm over Minho’s mouth, shushing him instantly. “Shut up! The doors open!”
Chan stifled his laugh, covering his own mouth to not seem insensitive. Minho pushed the black haired boy off of him, sitting up and looking more intently at him. Felix did his best to hide the pink that tinted his ears. “It’s not funny, I swear,” Chan calmed down enough to say. “But really? Is that why she’s always fucking with you?”
“I think? I mean, after the last fight we had she kinda told me she wanted me to- okay, verbatim, ‘manhandle’ her,” he tucked his knees to his chest in effort to calm his heartbeat. “But how do I do that?! I’ve never been… rough… before.” It felt so foreign for him to admit.
“You must be one gentle ass lover,” Minho laughed again. “Does she ever really piss you off?” Felix shook his head no again. “Not so much pissed off, just like… frustrated?”
No one knew what to say, they all knew Felix wasn’t an angry person. If he was ever mad, it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed within a couple hours. Being consumed by anger was something he just didn’t do. “Maybe you should,” Chan said nonchalantly. Felix looked at him quizzically, “get angry.”
Later that night, Felix had decided to walk back to your shared apartment. It wasn’t a long walk, but it did give enough time for Chan to call you and inform you of the conversation he had with your boyfriend- only partially, though. He didn’t give you any gorey details, just mentioning how he gave Felix a little “pep talk,” is what he called it. “We coached him a bit, gave him a few pointers. But he doesn’t think he could do it unless you get him real pissed.” That’s what Chan said. Idea after idea flooded your brain. You were great at annoying your boyfriend, it’s your specialty. You just hope that he doesn’t take it too personally.
Felix arrived not even fifteen minutes after you ended the phone call with his bandmate, calling out for you when he stepped into your home. It still gave you butterflies seeing him after he’d been at work all day, that’s how you knew that your relationship was as solid as could be. And that you could get him exactly where you wanted him. You’d let him wash up and make a quick meal before you both called it a night, getting into bed together. He’d told you about his day and all the progress he made in the studio. “Tomorrow is just dance practice and a costume fitting,” he was laid on his back with an arm behind his head and the other brushing his fingers through your hair. He loved seeing you so vulnerable for him in the most innocent ways, such as right now where you’re both naked in bed besides the panties you wore and his boxers, on your stomach with your head perched in your palms. The closeness without the barrier of clothes was always something Felix adored about being able to fall asleep next to you, the skin to skin contact growing to be something you loved just as much. 
“Would you wanna come? Tomorrow, I mean- with me?” It wasn’t rare for him to ask you to come places with him, and you’d been to his company more than enough times. Still, he was always unsure. You nodded excitedly, “good. I need your opinion on whatever the hell they decide to put me in.” Laughter filled the air as you melted into his touch and the bed, falling asleep.
The morning came quicker than expected, you’d heard Felix’s alarm go off and buried your face deeper into the pillow. His warm hand traced up your bare thigh, gently shaking your hip to wake you, “c’mon love. You’re coming with me today, remember?”
How could you forget?
Sighing, you rolled onto your back and drowsily opened your eyes to see your boyfriend hanging above you, waiting. As soon as your vision focused, he leaned down and pressed a sweet, closed-mouthed kiss to your lips, “mmm… morning breath.” He teased, shuffling away into the bathroom. 
You didn’t want to look like you were trying too hard, not in front of his friends that were always so stylish. Keeping your makeup clean and simple, you opted for baggy straight legged lounge pants and a cropped white shirt to even out your proportions. It was nice enough, right?
Wrong. The dance room was filled with beautiful clothes for the group and even more beautiful women, their stylists to be specific. They were all dressed so chic and they looked so well put together. Felix didn’t need to introduce you to the members, however it was your first time meeting their stylists. They all seemed nice, greeting you politely and complementing your hair or makeup. To be honest, you couldn’t be bothered to remember all of their names, but one stood out more than the rest. Her short hair was silver, starkly different to that of your boyfriend’s. She was tall and wore a blazer that accentuated her arms nicely. To say she was attractive would be an understatement. Felix mentioned that her name was Mihyeon.
The boys were off changing into whatever stage costume was handed to them, leaving you alone sitting on one of the benches waiting for their return. Mihyeon strode over, taking the seat beside you. “I really love your outfit! You played with the proportions so nicely. Do you mind if I take a closer look?” she asked, standing again and holding her hand out for you to take. You did, letting her lead you to the mirror wall. She stood behind you, playing with the top of your pants, pulling the back of it to mold closer to your hips and show off your figure. Mihyeon continued down the length of them, every curve of your lower body on display for her to examine. To say you were enjoying the attention was an understatement, you loved it, especially from a woman who was as attractive as her.
Shameless in the room still full of people, Mihyeon let go of your pants, standing again and resting her hands over your shoulders then slowly sliding them down your arms. The tips of her fingers lingered over the tops of your own hands, breaking contact to glide along your hips and back up towards the bit of exposed skin of your stomach. She tugged lightly at the hem of your shirt, leaning forward so her chin hovered above your shoulder. It seemed that she was about to speak when the door to the dance room opened.
Felix was fiddling with his belt when his eyes trained on the scene before him, his stylist’s hands on his girlfriend in a way that wouldn’t even touch him even though he was the idol. A flame lit in his gut, angrily doing his belt and stalking away into the corner of the room his phone was. You pushed Mihyeon’s hands off of you, finding your way to the man who was clearly fuming. He didn’t look at you, eyes trained on his phone.
You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. He was insecure, sure, but only ever with himself. Never has he been jealous or even mentioned any sort of malice towards people who hit on you. Something about the way he invited you today because he values your opinion, the way he left for no more than ten minutes and another woman’s hands are on you, the way it looked like you were enjoying it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to yell at you or fuck you until you were the one yelling. Probably the latter, and preferably his name.
You were still supposed to be at the company with Felix for a couple more hours, so you did your best to ease tensions with him by sliding your arms around his waist from behind. “You look great, baby,” you cooed in his ear. He didn’t acknowledge your presence verbally, but the way his shoulder tensed when you touched him told you he knew it was you. Pressing a kiss to the skin behind his ear, you hugged him tighter, his muscles slightly relaxing into you. Back hugs were always his weakness.
When you reached out to cup your hand over his that held his phone, he abruptly turned around and looked you in the eyes. “Yeah? Doesn’t Mihyeon look better, though?” His tone was sarcastic as he slumped back into the bench, averting your gaze again.
“N-no?” you asked, playing dumb. Settling in front of him on your knees, you pulled his feet out to trap you between them. Innocent, the way he liked it, your small actions that made him feel so big and powerful.
Felix leaned forward, elbows on his knees as his hand scooped your chin, raising it so you looked him directly in the eyes. “No? So you weren’t just letting her touch you like you were waiting for her to fuck you?” He whispered, letting go of your face as you shook your head no. “I think you’re lying to me,” his voice lowered and taunting. This new side of your boyfriend sent shivers down your spine, straight to your core. You could feel your panties getting sticky as he sat back and spread his knees, keeping his feet firmly pressed to either side of your body to hold you in place. Felix’s tongue pushed into the side of his cheek, looking down at you. He really did look good, especially in these new all black stage outfits, riddled with chains that formed a spider web across his chest. The doe eyes you were making at him paired with the way you sat on your knees, hands in your lap made him come to a decision. Clicking his tongue, he came in close again, “we aren’t staying for practice. After this fitting, we’re going home and I’m going to make you wish you had kept your hands to yourself.”
The fitting went by excruciatingly slow, your boyfriend was purposely taking his time. He knew your core was throbbing in anticipation as you couldn’t find the strength to stand and mingle with the other members like you usually would, letting them come to you when they wanted to chat. You avoided Mihyeon at all costs, not wanting to push Felix further. Or maybe you did, but that was for another day.
He acted completely normal with the other members, though whenever he would make his way back to you, he’d whisper in such a low register how badly he wanted to ruin you and make you beg for mercy. You could swear your heart had dropped into your pussy with how much it thumped between your legs. If these were the pointers Chan and Minho gave him, you’d have told them sooner.
Felix all but dragged you out of the building, flagging down the first taxi he could and politely pushed you inside. His hand never left the inside of your thigh as he stared out the window. You could tell he was still mad judging by the way his jaw tensed when you let your own hand rest over his. It wasn’t until you were isolated together in the elevator did he speak again, “you have no idea how much you piss me off.” It came out as more of a growl than anything. As soon as the words left his mouth, he pushed you back against the wall of the elevator, hands on either side of your head. There was a new light behind his eyes, darkening his usually sunny irises in a way you could only make out to be lust. Pure, unfiltered, and unadulterated lust. 
Felix held his stare so intensely it made you squirm, it was amusing to him knowing he had this effect on you with just a single look. The ride up to your floor felt longer than it ever had before. He didn’t move a muscle until the doors finally opened, taking your hand and letting you step in front of him to open the door. Hands found their way to your hips before you could even put the key into the lock, heavy breaths escaping you. As soon as you opened it, he shoved you inside with light but unexpected force, making you stumble. You dropped your bag to the floor, turning around to look at him as he entered and locked the front door.
“You think you can get away with anything, don’t you?” Anger now littered his face, pushing his eyebrows together as he stepped closer to you. You didn’t get a chance to reason with him before Felix tipped your chin up with his finger, deciding how to proceed. “You’re going to do exactly as I say. You won’t question me, you won’t disobey. Understand?” you nodded, uncertain. “Words, bunny.” The new nickname raised goosebumps along your skin.
“I understand,” the words could barely leave your mouth.
He smiled, only now it was almost sadistic. “Hm. Now,” he began kicking off your shoes and gestured for you to follow. Once that was done, he continued, “go to the room and strip. Sit in the middle of the bed with your back to the door. You have five minutes.” You couldn’t have run any faster to your bedroom, hearing him chuckle at your responsiveness from his spot at the entryway.
You did as you were told, stripping yourself of all the restricting fabric and leaving it in a pile at the foot of the bed. Crawling into the center of your nicely made bed, you settled on resting on your knees, the way you did back at the dance studio with your hands politely in your lap. From the other room, you could hear your boyfriend shuffling around, the undoing of his belt ringing the loudest throughout the quiet apartment. You wanted to face the door to see him, but his instructions made it clear he didn’t want you to. Your suspicions were proven correct when the sudden presence of another body entering the room made the hairs on your skin stand. Footsteps drew closer behind you, the bed dipped back and you knew he was centimeters away.
Warm fingers traced up the side of your right arm until it reached your shoulder then moved your hair to one side. “So beautiful,” Felix mumbled into your hair, still not completely touching you. The compliment accompanied by his sultry voice made your body writhe with electricity, most potent between your legs. He climbed closer to you, now you could feel his body heat against your back but not pressed directly against you. Lips kissed your bare shoulder delicately as his hands presented something in front of you. Looking down, he held a silk white blindfold. You knew exactly where this was going.
“If you’re going to remember anything tonight, it’ll be four things. Okay, bunny?” his voice didn’t exceed that of a whisper.
“Yes, sir.” The name slipped from your mouth without your brain processing it, too focused on the aching of your core and how you were probably soaking the sheets beneath you.
“Sir? Hm… I like that,” Felix let out a breathy laugh. “Traffic system. Green means go, yellow means slow it down, red is full stop. Remember those colors.” He spread the blindfold between both of his hands, bringing it up to your eyes and tying it behind your head with ease. “What’s your color, bunny?”
It was hard to muster enough stability to speak, “green! Green. But that’s only three things, sir.”
Felix laughed again, still deep and lustful. “Bunny catches on quick. The last thing…” he paused, taking the sides of your arms and pushing your upper body forward so that you were on all fours. Your arms shook as he kissed and licked down your spine, taking hold of your hips to keep you still. The further he made his way down he began to smooth over the supple flesh of your ass, switching between groping and pinching it. The loss of your eyesight made you feel everything he did ten times more, making your skin vibrate wherever he left his mark. The pain of the pinching followed by his soft palms made your body convulse every so slightly. Felix’s lips touched every part of your backside except for where you wanted- no, needed him most. He trailed over each cheek and down and up both thighs before removing his lips all together, deciding to plant his hands strongly on the sides of your thighs. Felix hummed lowly, content with how you shuddered beneath him. “Remember to breathe.”
“What-“ his lips attached themselves to your aching clit, sucking you in before you could finish your sentence. The moisture your arousal already produced made his thick lips slick easily around you, adding to it by letting the tip of his tongue circle around the bud then between your folds and just barely gliding over your entrance. Your body burned in bliss, his hands still pinching your skin while his mouth worked overtime to stimulate you as much as possible. 
You were drowning in the sudden pleasure, skin on fire as your vision was blacked out by the blindfold. Something about the sensory deprivation made you all the more wet. So lost in thought and ecstasy, Felix brought one of his magical hands up from your ass, only to bring it back down with a hard smack. The pain made you jolt forward and let out a high pitched moan. He chased your cunt to reattach his lips, rubbing into where he smacked you soothingly. Your breathing couldn’t have been more ragged, until he lifted and slapped the same cheek again… and again… and again. Your body shivered and convulsed, the sweetness of his mouth accompanied by the harsh slaps against your ass so close to sending you over the edge. Felix could feel your walls tightening as he dipped his tongue through your hole, the wet muscle circling inside and spreading you as much as possible. Dipping his tongue in and out, he knew you were close. Just to get you there, he moved back to your cunt, sucking, then one more smack sent you tumbling forward, arms giving out and falling face first into the bed as your body trembled through its first high of the night.
Your boyfriend’s deep laughter filled the room along with your whining groans, already blacked out vision somehow going white. It took you a few moments to regain your breath. Felix gave you this leeway, but only this once. His question pulled you from your second of relaxation, “color?”
Shaky arms managed to push you to your knees again, sitting back into how he initially wanted you. “Green, sir. Thank you.”
Felix let out a soft chuckle, “so polite, hm? I didn’t even ask you to thank me. Just because you’re so cute,” he gripped the back of your head by your hair, yanking you backwards slightly and wrapping his free hand under your jaw as his lips met yours. You could taste yourself as his tongue forced its way into your mouth, suddenly understanding why he always took liberty to go down first. Tongues dances around each other in a sloppy waltz, neither necessarily gaining dominance over the other. He pulled away first, also tugging your head so you couldn’t follow him. Though you couldn’t see his eyes, the seductive hum Felix let out was enough to know he was smiling at himself proudly. He tightened the grip on your hair, making you whine again. “My turn, bunny.”
He used the handle on your hair to toss you back towards the end of the bed with a yelp, feeling the edge of it under your neck. You felt the bed rise as he stood from it, seconds later he pulled you further off the edge by your rib cage. His warmth left for a split second, followed by the sound of his belt hitting the floor and his hands combed through your hair to hang. Felix’s scent made you feel dizzy, you wanted him even more.
Apparently your boyfriend was a mind reader. He cupped the side of your face from your upside down position, leaving one more spider man kiss on your lips. Still cradling your face, he lightly tapped the head of his cock to your mouth. It was almost second nature for you to open so he could enter.
His thrusts into your mouth started slow, careful not to hurt you. But his instincts got the best of him, pushing harder and deeper down your throat. You couldn’t see it, but he was fascinated by the way your neck bulged every time he pushed in. His eyes trained on your throat, eventually he found himself gripping his hands around it and adding a slight pressure, thumbs running up and down the center of your neck to feel for himself.
You were proud to say you were good at managing your gag reflex. However the new position, post orgasm bliss, and the sensory deprivation had you so brainless you almost forgot the very last rule. Your windpipe contracted around Felix’s cock in an attempt to fill with air. It didn’t help that his balls swung against your nose every time you tried to inhale, but you didn’t mind it.
Drool dribbled from the corners of your mouth and down your cheeks. From behind the blindfold you closed your eyes, blinking away tears that were forming. But you failed, the tears mixed with the drool that continued to wet your face and his balls. He gave you the satisfaction of moaning while he pummeled your mouth, the grip on your neck tightening as he lost himself to the pleasure. Felix spared you a split second of relief, pulling from your spit covered mouth to tap his tip against your lips again. “So pretty. My pretty bunny is so good for me,” he said, so clear and seductive enough for the words to shoot straight to your pussy again.
A couple more taps and he reinserted his cock into your mouth, showing no mercy as he leaned over your body onto his forearms to cage you in and thrust relentlessly. The tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag over and over. The vibrations electrified his dick, almost pushing him over the edge. Felix regained his self control before he could unload into your mouth, pulling out and taking in a deep breath. “God, you're so filthy,” there was a change in his tone, no longer praising. His footsteps drew away and around the side of the bed, grabbing your hands to sit you up. 
“Does my dirty bunny want more?” he cooed, smoothing out your hair. You nodded, eager and needy. “Yes, sir. N-need more.”
“What do you want? Bunny needs to tell me exactly what she wants,” his breath fanned along the backside of your ear, pulling your hair away and kissing the hidden skin.
“W-want sir to f-fill me up,” Felix was taken aback slightly, the shock of your words reminding him that he’s still new to the roughness of the scene. Quickly he composed himself, letting a low hum rumble in your ear. Your body still shivered at his voice.
The bed dipped behind you again, hands resting at your hips. “On your knees,” he commanded, confidence lacing his words, and god did you love it. You obeyed, tucking your legs under you only for him to haul you forward by the hips and force you on all fours again. This time, a hand pushed your upper body down into the bed, ass hanging high on display for him. You couldn’t help but wiggle a little, needing his touch. “Patience is a virtue, love. Don’t rush me.”
With that he leaned his hips into yours, running his cock through your soaking folds teasingly. There was no stopping your whining, not when your nerve endings were on overdrive. Felix focused on the tip of his cock to your swollen clit, pressing incredibly and deliciously hard enough to make you both cry out. “Please, s-sir. C-can’t-“
Felix cut off your complaints by shoving his cock into you unexpectedly, jackhammering into you as soon as the tip was in. He was fucking you into the mattress unrelentingly, holding onto your upper thighs for leverage. You, on the other hand, was jello beneath him, if he hadn’t made you lay flat you would’ve fallen anyways.
The filling sensation every time he pulled out just to shove himself back in had your mouth in an ‘O’ shape, crying out into the pillow. You did your best to brace yourself by gripping onto the sheets, but every hard, deep, pounding thrust had you slowly inching further up the bed. Every couple thrusts his balls would bump against your clit, making you whine a bit louder. You’d learned early neither of you were quiet, however this was a new level. You couldn’t stop moaning, “f-fuck, sir! Please, please, please,” though you didn’t know what you were begging for.
His attack on your cunt ceased enough for him to speak, “fuck, bunny. So tight, so wet for m- god- don’t clench so fucking hard! Are you trying to make me cum right now?” Felix slapped your right cheek harder than he had all night, making you do exactly what he said not to; clench.
“‘m s-sorry sir. F-feel too good. More, need more.” He stopped his movements all together, trying to rile you up. It worked. You needed the friction of his cock dragging along your walls, so you took matters into your own hands by raising your hips and pushing it back down, fucking yourself onto him. He gave more slaps to your ass, making you clench even more than before. “You’re so desperate, hm? Look at you, so pretty and pathetic. Fucking yourself on my cock like a slut.” His degrading words rippled from your head to your toes, spurring him to continue. “You like when I call you that? My little slut, being so good for me. Trying to fuck me like the cock hungry bunny she is.” Everything about the way he spoke to you made your body crumble. 
As much as you tried to rock your hips at the speed you wanted, you just couldn’t, not without him. “N-not enough. Please, sir, please help me,” you begged, broken voice ever so sweet in his ears.
Felix yanked at your hair again, sitting you up straight and pulling you flush against his chest. The grip on your hair loosened, only to be replaced on your neck, choking you. His free hand slithered around you waist and rested just between your stomach and your soaking mound. The new angle already shifted his cock in you, rubbing against the spot that had you drooling. “Like this, bunny?” The question was a rhetorical one, he could feel your walls fluttering against him and that was enough of an answer.
Your feet were on either side of his knees, hips pressed solidly to your ass as he kept your upper body against his. You were starting to feel drunk on the feeling of his hands around your neck and cock buried inside you. Then he started to move, quick and shallow thrusts that pounded against your g-spot every time. Felix added pressure to your throat, air supply gradually decreasing. You knew you asked for more, knowing he’d give it to you, but you didn’t expect the last trick he pulled from his pocket. 
The hand below your stomach pressed into you, lowering your g-spot to an angle he hardly had to try to hit. When he did, he did it with such force you couldn’t speak, going mute all together. Drool leaked from your mouth again, mixing with tears as he sent you through wave after wave of pleasure. Slapping skin on skin and his working grunts was all that filled the room. Felix noticed your lack of verbal cues, “c’mon bunny, what happened? Didn’t you want me to be rough? Are you bored?” He asked in a tone that suggested he knew how good he made you feel. He was teasing you, poking fun at how dumb and messy you must’ve looked.
At the same time, the hand around your throat squeezed extra hard while the other pressed further into your lower region. The tightness of your clenching ushered him to remind you to breathe, despite his handle on your throat. The combined stimulation ripped your orgasm through you like a tidal wave, crying out his name in pure ecstasy. His hand dropped from your neck and joined down to rub figure eights against your clit to ride out the high. You did your best to control your breathing, which apparently worked because it felt like your orgasm didn’t fade for what seemed like forever. 
Before you could fully come down, Felix shoved your limp body forward to put your ass in the air again. You felt him stand taller against your ass, untying the blindfold only to push your head deeper into the mattress. “Don’t forget about me, bunny.” The overstimulation of his cock still inside made it impossible to forget his presence.
One hand on your face in the sheets, the other finding your hand, interlocking your fingers as he supported his weight enough to rock into you again. He went fast, focusing solely on himself to get the final push. “S-so-“ you couldn’t get the words out with his hand and the bed muffling you. Felix brushed the hair from your eyes to see them locked shut. 
“What is it, bunny? So what?”
“So good, so b-big-“ he rammed his cock so deep into you that you saw stars one more time. Your walls convulsed around him in an overstimulated orgasm you didn’t realize was coming. The clench and your words had Felix emptying himself into you, hunched over your back and holding tightly onto your hand- the only thing grounding him.
He stayed like this for a moment, leaving soft and calming kisses down your spine and rubbing his thumb against yours. You didn’t want to move even though the position was now uncomfortable, eyes already beginning to droop closed. Felix slowly pulled out as carefully as possible, but the sensitivity was still very present and made you wince. “Gotta get cleaned up, baby,” he rubbed your arms, attempting to pull you up but your body gave out, falling back into his lap. “So tired,” you mumbled, not even able to look up at him to see the hearts in his eyes. 
Your boyfriend smiled down, wiping away the sweaty hair matted to your forehead and laying a sweet kiss to it. “I know.” He always knew.
He laid you back down, only to get up and lift you bridal style to the bathroom. Felix placed you down to sit on the toilet, instructing you to pee while he left to grab a glass of water. “No UTI’s here, right?” He joked, skipping away all too energized for the events that took place less than ten minutes ago. You made the mistake of glancing behind you at the mirror, the reflection giving away how ruined you looked with mascara stains down your cheeks, lipstick smeared into oblivion. It made your cheeks heat up at the recent memory. 
Before you could get lost in thought, Felix made his way back into the restroom with a glass in his hand. “Drink,” he all but shoved it in your mouth. Ironic. He watched you swallow, eyes wide and so, so in love. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
The compliment caught you off guard, making you choke a little on the water. He laughed, running a hand to wipe a bit of mascara off your cheek. “Shower? Or too tired?” You shook your head no, leaning into his hand and rubbing your face into it. “Okay, okay. No shower.” Felix bent over and placed one last kiss to your lips before closing the door to let you situate yourself. He came back a minute later with a box of wipes, saying something about not going to sleep sweaty. 
“That bed definitely has worse liquids on it than sweat,” you retorted, causing him to laugh brightly. Still, he held you up enough to wipe your body quickly, doing himself next and leading you back to bed.
You weren’t wrong, there were wet spots in various places. Felix stripped the bed quickly, only laying the loose sheet onto the bare mattress. “We’ll fix it tomorrow,” he said. You weren’t about to argue, so close to falling asleep standing up. He allowed you to fall into bed first, grabbing the comforter and tossing it over before climbing in next to you. Taking his usual spot with his chest to your back, he whispered with a smile in his voice, “was that rough enough for you?”
Eyes closing with the comfort of his lips to your neck, “more than enough,” you replied and allowed sleep to overtake you. Just as the darkness pulled you, you caught his voice one last time, “like Maybelline.”
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A/N: this took a lil longer than I hoped to write, but still I think it came out decent for how thoughtless I was when putting it together heh
I may or may not take even a bit longer to put out the next part since next week is final exams for me then right after I'm going on a road trip, but I'll do what I can! in the mean time I'll more than likely write little dribbles and shorter fics to make up for it!
The next part im thinkiiiiiing... SPOILER... Hyunjin heheheheheheh. That one should be a bit more interesting with more inner monologue from him rather than reader.
As always feedback is appreciated!!!
-momo < 3
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nocturnvls · 3 months
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Kehlani | Bad News
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lady-bohemia · 1 year
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and that damn Don Julio made me a fool for you 🥃
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crowmero · 1 year
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Look, I do trust Beemoov artist team, they alway do a great job. My problem is that not matter how pretty you do your game or how much customization you add, if you don't do a good job with the main story of your otome game, this gonna become a glorified wardrobe again.
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aestheticjunkyard · 29 days
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musictyme · 27 days
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Kehlani - Can I
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realhotgirlshitah · 2 years
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KEHLANI’S NEW ALBUM DID NOT FUCKING DISAPPOINT. SHE ALWAYS CLEARS THE PLATE AND I LOVE HOW MUCH SHE’S GROWN SINCE IWGUIW AND SSS. IF YOU HAVEN’T LISTENED ALREADY AND LIKE R&B THIS IS A MUST OMG.
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ghouliexx-k · 2 years
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I've never experienced music in a healing way, after my breakup I needed to escape from my feelings and emotions and just shutdown everyone and everything but music let me realese those bitter, sad, nostalgic emotions and help me in the process.
Never be scared of what music can do for you in your darkest, lowest moments.
This are the albums that let me set free all that i wanted to say but never could.
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qiinamii · 6 months
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crown swap
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CONCERT REVIEW: KEHLANI W/ RICO NASTY AND DESTIN CONRAD AT PNE AMPHITHEATRE - SEPTEMBER 21ST, 2022
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There are some concerts born for an outdoor venue. I didn’t think Kehlani was one of them, but I was definitely wrong. On September 21st, Kehlani along with Destin Conrad and Rico Nasty played at the PNE Amphitheatre to a diverse crowd of young and old fans alike. The night felt like a tribute and celebration to love, sex, and sensuality — even with the opening acts. Audience members like myself were treated to a truly ethereal show.
Destin Conrad, a 22-year-old Florida native whom Kehlani likes to joke is her “first-born child,” started off the night setting the mood. His sound fit well as an opener for Kehlani, with smooth, swanky beats mixed with crooning and echo-fading reverb. Next, Rico Nasty took the stage and lit it up. There is nothing quite like the energy of watching Rico Nasty live. She commanded the stage with her signature screechy, throaty, “sugar trap” rap style with hits like “Smack a Bitch” and “Blow Me.” The pair did a great job of energizing the crowd, and setting the mood for the rest of the night.
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It’s cathartic to see how far Kehlani’s come. The artist, born in Oakland, California, first popular on Soundcloud from her hit EP Cloud 19, has really come into her image and her sound. I can only describe it as goddess-like. Blue Water Road – the album that this tour frames – feels like a grown version of Kehlani: playful, cheeky, but incredibly sincere. Throughout the show, Kehlani often reflected with the audience and gave us snippets of her thoughts and life.
The stage was decorated with draped curtains that took to the light effects well, creating a moody, soft, almost dream-like landscape. Something about it felt retro, like old Hollywood glam, and I feel that added to the effect of making the rest of the PNE Amphitheatre disappear. When Kehlani opened with “little story,” I felt transported. 
Kehlani’s new album shined as something refined. Although not entirely new, this sound lends itself well to live music. There is something rich about the layers of instrumental throughout the songs; twangy, spicy guitar and full violin, all accompanied by Kehlani’s flirty vocal tone. It was especially a pleasure to hear “tangerine” live for this reason, as well as “Piece of Mind” for being harmony heavy.
Another highlight was “Water” and “Serial Lover” because Kehani’s stage presence was able to come through in these songs. With the steady beat and sexy lyrics, the crowd was bouncing along with Kehlani’s hip swaying. Her vocals were great in these songs, especially in “Serial Lover.” Although she isn’t belting in these songs, she spiced them up from the original versions by adding new runs and trills.
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Perhaps the best part of the night, however, was when she started singing her old hits. I might be biased, but there was something all-encompassing about hearing “1st Position” from Cloud 19 live again. What followed was “You Should Be Here” and my personal favourite, “The Way” from You Should Be Here. I love it when artists pay homage to their loyal fans by playing hits from really old albums, and god, did Kehlani deliver. 
I think this concert was a mixture of things. As I said, a tribute to love, sex, and sensuality — but also a celebration of Kehlani’s growth as a person and an artist. She’s spoken about how Blue Water Road explores her healing, and it really shows. It feels like an honour to be able to witness her journey, and the soulful music that came out of it.
Written by: Alexa Tarrayo Photographed by: Bailey Morgan
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taaannnkk · 1 year
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charmercharm3r · 2 years
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Toxic
KSM
Masterlist
wc: 9.9k
Synopsis: Someone should’ve taken the alcohol away, now his phone won’t stop blowing up with your name.
warnings: smut, dom!seungmin, explicit sexual content, sorta reader x minho somewhere in there, shower sex (a couple times -ish), slight breeding kink, lots of alcohol, dirty talk lol, lmk if I missed anything!
Part 6 of my 8 part series based off the album, “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t” by Kehlani, where each member of Stray Kids will have a song dedicated to them and whatever toxic relationship I can come up with.
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Seungmin was stoic— he always was. He was the rock in high tide that never seemed to drift, and it was something you always loved about him. No matter what, he held you down and continued to do so through your increasing reckless behavior.
Until it got to the point that he just couldn’t. The independence, the late— drunk— nights, the crowd lining up at your feet that wished to be the one in your bed instead of Seungmin, it became too much.
He never held it against you. No, if anything, he enjoyed the attention you got when you’d down another shot and leave all the lightweights in awe. He loved watching you be your most free self when the alcohol finally coursed through your veins and made you forget all the worries of the daytime. There was nothing he loved more than seeing you in your element.
However, somewhere along the line, it was also the last straw and he couldn’t bear the crushing weight of the attention anymore. The possessiveness he felt overtook his usually logical senses and made him lash out in the worst way possible. Jealousy, envy, the need to prove you wrong– it got the best of him.
On a night where he’d driven the two of you to your usual late night spot, coincidentally the same bar you’d met at all those months ago, he’d let you have your fun again and blow off some steam. But in the midst of the same fun that he encouraged you to have, you became forgetful and neglected interacting with him. He knew you weren’t flirting with the bartender, but that bartender had always had the biggest crush on you. For a while, he just watched.
“Let me get you something I think you’ll like,” the bartender, Minho, said as he side-eyed Seungmin next to you. You were leaning your elbows on the counter, nonchalantly twisting your hair between your fingers.
Without looking at him, you whispered in your boyfriend’s ear, “think if I flirt hard enough, he’ll give us the drinks for free?” 
The question made Seungmin clench his teeth in annoyance. He knew this is what you always did, and Minho always gave you the drinks for free in the end. You. Just you. Seungmin still had to pay for his own. But the statement had him almost keeling over in anger because before, he thought you were just unaware of your charm. Now, he realized you’d been doing it on purpose all along.
“Why don’t you stay and find out? I’m going home,” Seungmin downed the last of his glass and placed it upside down on the counter with a thud, causing you to look up at him as he stood. Shrugging on his coat, he took the car keys from your purse.
“What? You’re wanting to leave? I thought you wanted to go out tonight?” You stood with him, draping your own coat over your arm to follow him. Instead of letting you take his hand like he knew he should’ve, Seungmin pushed you back down into your seat by your shoulder without a glance. Confused, you rested your hand on his that lingered on your shoulder. “Seung? What’s wrong?”
He’d never been this outrightly mad at you before, so cold you started to worry despite the alcohol that made your head dizzy. He knew that if he looked at you, he’d cave and remember that it was just for the free drinks, you didn’t actually like the stupid bartender. But as usual, he had to be stubborn and prove his point. So he shrugged you away from him and left you there.
Ultimately, taking the car keys meant taking your house keys as well. Thankfully, you had enough cash on you for an Uber home. But that wasn’t before you had a few more angry shots of tequila to drown out the sadness that followed your boyfriend’s sudden leave. Minho kept you company, of course, seeing you sad and alone. Nothing went further than talking with the bartender, explaining briefly what happened and letting Minho pour you another drink. You also let him hold your hair back when you threw up in the bar’s restroom, and wipe away the residue, and hold you when you started to sob because you were upset that your boyfriend was mad and had no idea why. That was a wake up call for you, immediately ordering the early morning ride home to find out.
Seungmin didn’t sleep. As soon as he’d gotten into the car, the guilt of leaving you drunk and alone crowded his thoughts more than the anger did. He sat in the parking lot for almost an hour, hoping to see you outside and coming home. But when you didn’t, he left. He drove home so fast that everything looked like a blur. By the time he’d cleaned himself up and sat in bed, it was almost 3:30 in the morning and you still weren’t home. In order to keep himself occupied, he began cleaning the house, keeping his phone on the ringer in case you called.
You almost fell asleep in the Uber, on the verge of knocking out as you rolled up to your apartment. It took you a good chunk of time to get yourself into the elevator and to your front door. You only needed to knock once before your boyfriend opened the door, hair wet and pajamas on. As soon as you saw his face, you fell into his arms and cried.
“I– I don’t know what I did. I don’t know,” was the most coherent sentence you said for a solid fifteen minutes. All Seungmin could do was hold you, let you get out all of your tipsy emotions. He rubbed your back, wiped your tears, but the smell of alcohol overpowered any sympathy he felt.
Crocodile tears, he told himself as your sobs started to simmer down.
“We’ll talk about it in the morning,” was what he said.
“No, we’ll talk about it now.”
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m sober enough to know that you left me. Alone. With no way home.” You were definitely sober. The look of anger on your face let him know that he royally fucked up. But still, he stood his ground.
Walking over to the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to you over the kitchen island where you sat. He didn’t move, just staring at the empty sink as he tried to think of words to justify why he’d done it. “You got here in one piece, didn’t you?” It was a stupid thing to say. But that stupid bartender with his stupid free drinks and his stupid dumb jokes that made you laugh, it made Seungmin dumber than any of that.
You weren’t one to scream and shout, opting for the silent treatment instead. So you looked at your boyfriend because lack of response was always the best way to get the truth from someone. The silence always made him uncomfortable, specifically in times where you should be scolding him.
“He just wouldn’t shut up. It’s like I wasn’t even there and he just kept bringing you drinks. Was I invisible or something? You sure as hell didn’t seem to care if I was there or not–”
“That’s why you left? Because you were jealous?” You laughed mockingly. Hiding your hands in your face, you continued to so that he didn’t see how hurt you were. Tears were quickly wiped by your palm as delirious laughter filled the apartment. “You’re a real piece of fucking work, you know that?”
“Me?” He shot back, “I don’t flirt with bartenders for free drinks. Right in front of you, at that!”
“You could have told me you wanted me to stop. But no, you left me there instead. And still haven’t apologized.”
“I don’t need to apologize when I haven’t done anything wrong.” He held himself together as long as he could. But you could always see right through him, no matter how strong on the outside he seemed. His throat contracted, chest stuttered to breathe, eyes slightly glazed over. There was no winning this fight.
No more tears left, you took the water bottle and drank, slamming it onto the counter and walking to the bedroom. Seungmin watched as you left without another word, jumping when you slammed the door and left him alone.
Anger no longer consumed him, just the same underlying guilt he felt when he waited for you in that parking lot. Stoic, rock-like, Seungmin didn’t shed a single tear as he took his temporary place on the couch for the night.
He woke up early the next morning, constantly checking the bedroom door to see when you’d come out. But as the day dragged on and you didn’t emerge to even grab something to eat, he got worried. You’d never ignored him for this long, let alone gone without your usual morning coffee that the two of you shared. So when four o’clock rolled around, he decided to see what you were up to.
He found your shared bed neatly made, closet closed, nothing out of the ordinary. But upon further inspection, your side of the dresser was empty, your nightstand was bare, and a small suitcase was tucked under the bed. He heard you shuffling in the ensuite bathroom, the sink running loudly. Then he heard sniffles, almost completely drowned out when the shower began to run, too. Seungmin couldn’t stop himself from leaning against the door to listen, just hear your painful cries that were all because of him.
It felt like hours that you’d stood under the hot water, getting out any leftover emotions before having to face your ignorant partner again and tell him you were leaving him– not that he’d care.
Too lost in your own head, you didn’t hear the bathroom door open, or hear him strip his clothes off and join you in the shower. It wasn’t until you felt his hands gently slip around your waist did you notice his presence. You didn’t speak. He didn’t speak. No words were exchanged as he pulled you tighter to his chest, brushing your hair away from your face as he kissed the crook of your neck. You thanked the heavens that the water washed away any remnants of your sadness before he could see it.
He doesn’t know why he did what he did, why he left you last night. All he did know was that he couldn’t bear listening to you cry anymore.
Emotional. Heart-leading. Reckless. Slightly selfish. Do now, think later. Fall fast, fall hard. One hundred percent.
Those were the words that Seungmin thought of as he found your shaking hand and interlaced your fingers, spinning you to finally face him. When you didn’t look up, he brought his knuckles under your chin and made your eyes meet. Cheeks puffy and eyes red, you held your gaze on him. Seungmin felt weak, starting to fall victim to the spell that wrapped him around your finger in the first place. He began to feel like you were so far away from him even though your hand squeezed his. Your fingertips ran lightly over the centerline of his abdomen, trailing over his collar bones until they reached the underside of his jaw to tip his head down. The warm water suddenly felt all too hot as you slicked half his bangs back with your wet hand.
You wanted to see him. See if there was any feeling of love left for you behind his stone cold eyes. When he bent down to kiss you, there was something that told you he still did, only it was different. Thankfully, you were quick to adapt. Change was an old friend, feeling an unfamiliar fervor behind his lips was welcomed by yours, venom laced.
The kiss deepened, he unlocked his hands to bring both of them to your hips while yours kept his head trapped. Seungmin let himself grip the fatty skin of your ass, kneading it as he became painfully aware of his aching boner. He gently turned the two of you so that your back was against the shower wall, hiking one of your legs up by the underside of your knee. You only broke the kiss to hold on to his shoulders for balance, feeling him dip his head into your neck again and nibbling on your warm skin.
Two fingers ran through your folds, wet from the water but sticky with arousal. It was easy for Seungmin to slick the essence around as he played with your cunt, just circling your entrance. Your grip moved to the back of his hair, pulling it and enticing him to continue. The harshness of your nails against his scalp ripped a moan from his throat, vibrating against you. The sound of him made your hips buck into his hand.
“Seung, please,” you begged, tugging his hair harder and hips stuttering.
“As you wish.” It was slightly from a place of spite, but he pushed his fingers into you anyways. Your head fell back upon feeling the stretch, grinding your clit into his palm. Seungmin didn’t move, letting you fuck yourself on his hand while he just enjoyed the way you moaned. It was his intention to leave marks along your neck and chest, claim you and make sure everyone knew who you belonged to.
He felt your walls fluttering and pulsing tighter, ripping his hand away as soon as he felt you about to tip over. “What the fu–”
He cut off your complaints by crashing his mouth to yours, grabbing your other leg and lifting you to support your body against the shower wall. As his tongue roamed and your ankles locked behind his back, you reached between your bodies to align his cock with your needy hole. As quickly as the situation escalated, Seungmin dropped you slightly to slide in. The water was nowhere near how warm you felt around him, pussy throbbing from your first denied orgasm.
Seungmin let his head fall against your chest, listening to your heart beating erratically. You pushed back the hair that fell wet against his forehead as he steadied his breathing. Time stopped, relishing in the feeling of you and never wanting to let go. But he reminded himself of last night, how badly he treated you and how he needed to do so much to make up for it.
For only the second time since joining you in the shower, he raised his head and looked into your eyes, pulling his hips back before slowly pushing in. He kept his eyes trained on yours as he continued to take you, gently and at a snail’s pace. Seungmin hoped that you could look past his ignorance and see just how sorry he was, he hoped you could feel everything that he felt in the way that held your stare and grinded into you. For a moment, he thought you did when your hand found his cheek again, luring him in for another kiss.
It soon became a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss, getting steamier the longer that Seungmin stayed buried inside you. The urge to find your high started to become too much, making you encourage him to move faster. So he used the handle on your hips to pull you back and slam you into him again. He was entranced by the sight of your two bodies connecting, drunk on the sound of your skins slapping. The closer he got to his high, the shallower his thrusts became.
“Fuck– just like that. Don’t stop!” You whined, pressing your chest tighter against him as you held on for dear life.
The quick thrusts pressed the top side of his cock into your clit. He planted another kiss to the corner of your mouth, keeping his cheek against yours as your orgasm took over your body. Shuddering and pulling him impossibly closer, your ankles pinned his hips into your cunt, completely sheathing him as you writhed. The deepness and pulsing of your slick walls around him was enough for Seungmin to follow, releasing deep into you with a groan.
The feeling of his cheek on yours was your favorite, an intimate thing without feeling sexual despite him still lodged inside. Your entire body felt amplified, every little touch like electricity. But that also meant that your mind was racing, initial plan being side railed because you actually got railed.
But you couldn’t let go of him. Instead of pushing him away and walking out of the shower, you rubbed your cheek against his, feeling so airy and weightless.
Seungmin lived for the feeling of your skin, soft and delicate. He began to grow flaccid, sure that his cum wouldn’t seep out because of how far in you he was. As gentle as he could, he lowered you to the ground. You kept your arms around his neck as he held up your body weight, letting you nuzzle into him. The two of you stayed like this for a while, in each other’s arms. 
The events of the night before replayed in your head, eventually breaking you from your euphoria to let go. You reached for the bottle of shampoo, leading him to stand under the water while you poured it into your hands and lathered it up. He leaned his head back, letting the warm water run down his face. You weren’t sure what to make of it, how could someone as beautiful as him be so cold to you one second, then worship the ground you walk on the next?
You were still stuck in your own head as he kneeled onto the ground, letting you shampoo his hair. As you massaged the product into his scalp, Seungmin closed his eyes and hummed.
“I’m sorry,” it came out as more of a whisper than he intended. He wanted to make a show of his apology, wanted to do anything it took to make you see the sorrow in his heart.
When you didn’t respond, hands still in his hair, he opened his eyes and continued, “I never meant to hurt you.” You couldn’t bring yourself to speak. The only way you acknowledged his words was with a slight nod of your head.
He was never one to apologize. Neither were you. The way he was literally on his knees before you, eyes boring into yours that wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of contact, it melted your heart to continue the way you did.
You rinsed the shampoo from his hair, let him wash your own then linger in another soapy few moments as you washed each other’s tired bodies. He followed you out of the shower and towel dried you first, then himself, watching you get dressed in the clothes you had neatly folded on the closed toilet lid. Wordlessly, you exited the bathroom, leaving him to bask in his steaming regrets.
When the thudding of your suitcase being plopped onto the bed echoed through the bedroom, Seungmin rushed out to see you pulling out an article of clothing and tossing it onto the mattress. It was his flannel, the cream and brown one that he wore around the house and on lazy days you spent at cafes together. The same one you stole from him because you loved the way it smelt just like him.
Still just a towel wrapped around his waist, Seungmin’s heart began to speed up as you zipped the suitcase closed. He watched as you lifted and placed it onto the ground, sitting on the bed to slip your socks on. “What are you doing?” He said, throat dry.
You didn’t look at him, stepping into your house slippers. “Gonna spend some time at a friend’s.”
He followed as you walked into the living room and placed your suitcase next to the door, “for how long?”
“I don’t know, Seung.” The nickname made his heart clench. Stepping into your shoes, you dropped your hands to your sides and looked at him with saddened eyes, “don’t call me.”
As you opened the door and rolled your suitcase into the hallway, a sudden realization hit him. “Wait!” He called out. As much as he felt like crying, begging you to stay and fight for you to see how much he loved you, he couldn’t. Wordlessly, unemotionally, you turned around to face him again, hand still on the doorknob to close. “Was that breakup sex?”
You searched his face, looking for any sign that he wanted you to deny his question. With a tired sigh and somber expression, you tilted your head at him, “yes.” You left without another word, closing the door on him and his emotions that he refused to show you.
There was a slight echo in the apartment, ringing in his ears as he whispered to no one but himself, “I love you.”
It had only been a month since you left, unable to shake the feeling that you’d messed up. It was a mistake he made, a mistake you made, a small hiccup that a cup of water couldn’t fix. But when water turns to wine, there isn't enough wine in the world that could drown you of your longing for him. You’d hoped to accomplish something in your time away from him, maybe pick up a new hobby or find out something new about yourself so that when you did find the courage to call him, you’d be bringing something to the relationship that could benefit the both of you.
But apparently, in the month you’d been apart, he found something new of his own. A new someone that ticked a hell of a lot more boxes than you ever did– according to Minho. Seungmin was bringing this new someone around to your date spots, the same bar you’d frequented together. Minho had mentioned that he’d still sit in his usual seat and let this new girl sit in yours. The bartender was the constant that you needed, a friend who didn’t seem to want to be more than a shoulder to lean on. He always was when you were with Seungmin, even more now that you’re not.
“It’s my fault. I can’t blame him,” you muttered, leaning back into Minho’s couch. It was a frequent thing now, going over to his place to hang out, talk like normal people. What would Seungmin say if he saw you now? He’d be pissed out of his mind, for sure. Probably call you a slut and say he’d known all along you wanted him just as badly as he clearly wanted you.
“You can. I know I do. What kind of asshole leaves their drunk girlfriend alone at a bar? And take her house keys?!” Minho walked back into the living room from the kitchen with two shots of tequila– Don Julio bottle almost completely finished– handing you one while he sat on the floor in front of you.
Immediately you brought it to your nose to smell, running a hand through your hair while criss crossing your legs. “I probably shouldn’t have drank so much. I feel like a borderlining alcoholic.”
“I think you’re self aware enough to show that you’re not an alcoholic,” he laughed, flicking his own hair out of his eyes. You’d never really noticed how clean he is– clean looking. He seemed as though he took care of himself and appreciated dressing up, something that most men lacked.
“You’re just saying that ‘cus you’d be out of a job if it weren’t for me.”
Minho smirked into his glass, not looking away from your eyes. “You’re right,” he smiled. The fitted black shirt he wore tightened as his muscles flexed, probably on purpose, but that didn’t mean he looked any less attractive. “Still a shitty tipper, though,” he mumbled.
“What was that? I don’t tip you well enough?” You stuck a foot out to nudge his bent knee jokingly. “Maybe you should step up your mixture game then, hm?” You downed the shot, not caring to appreciate the taste but rather hoping that it could make you light enough to not care about how Minho was now inching towards you.
He placed his full glass on the coffee table, sitting on his knees and planting his hands onto either side of your crossed legs, caging you in. “Or you could make it up to me.” He looked up at you, lightly running his tongue over his lips as his eyes trailed down to yours. You couldn’t help but feel intrigued, sort of flattered that he couldn’t stop staring. It was obvious that he’d stare when you were in a relationship, but never pushed that boundary out of respect. Now that you weren’t, you had to give him credit for going after what he wanted.
Setting your empty glass down as well, you leaned forward, just inches away from his face now. You could smell his cologne, clean and musky with a hint of booze. Dropping your head slightly, you asked, “how so?”
Minho reached a gentle hand up, fingertips tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and caressing your cheek. He looked so delectable on his knees before you. You suppose you had a thing for it, a weird thing that made you feel like you had all the power in the world.
“Can I kiss you?” Without falter, you pressed your lips into his. The kiss was soft, supple as the two of you got used to the feeling of one another. His lips were oh so pillowy, movements unrushed as he adjusted to your tempo. As easy as it felt kissing him, it also was so easy to let yourself get lost in it. Minho cupped your jaw tighter, pulling you deeper as he started to stand. Without breaking the kiss, he moved to lay your body lengthwise with the couch and hover over you. He didn’t run his tongue across your mouth until your fingers tangled in his hair and tugged. You granted him entrance, the alcohol taking its course through your body and doing just as you’d hoped. With all inhibitions lowered, you let one hand trail down the back of his shoulder, stopping at his lower back to pull his body down into you.
There was no particular fight for dominance, just your two tongues gliding and dancing around each other. He continued to let you set the pace, slotting his knee between your legs to lean back onto and grab your face with both hands. You, getting needier and needier by the second, grinded your hips into his limb, hoping to get some sort of friction. You moaned into the kiss and continued to run your hands all over his body. But the more you tried to remedy the aching in your core, the further Minho pulled his knee away. Eventually, he broke from the kiss all together while you whined.
“Need you,” you murmured, staring at his bitten lips.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Minho said, not angrily or anything that suggested he was upset. “I don’t want our first time to be because you want to get revenge on your ex.” He leaned down to peck your lips again, quickly getting up from the couch and grabbing your and his shot glasses, leaving you confused and horny.
“What?” You said softly to yourself, sitting up and shaking your head. After a moment of composing your breath, you followed Minho into the kitchen. He stood with his back against the counter, sipping a bottle of water. “I don’t get it. You kissed me.”
“No, I asked to kiss you. You kissed me.” He didn’t turn to you, nonchalantly carding through his now messy hair.
“I still don’t get it.” Truly, you didn’t. He was the one to invite you over tonight. He was the one to suggest drinking. He was the one that kept handing you the alcohol. He was the one that suggested kissing in the first place. And now he was the one that didn’t want to take it further. Your mind was running amuck while he refused to look at you.
“Like I said, I don’t want our first time to be becau–”
“I heard you. That’s what I don’t understand.”
Now he spun, crushing the empty bottle and tossing it carelessly in the sink while his eyes stayed focused on you. The look he gave you suddenly made you nervous, it was the most serious you’d ever seen him. The usual playful and flirty Minho you knew wasn’t the man standing in front of you. “No, of course you don’t. You only understand when guys treat you like an object.”
His words took you aback, flinching at the specific term he used, “object.” You knew your worth. You knew the attention you got, in fact you used it to your advantage. Isn’t that how you always got free drinks from Minho in the first place?
“What are you–”
“He treats you like shit. Always did. And I had to sit there and watch him do it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to watch the person you love be talked down to and left stranded in such a vulnerable position?” It took you a moment to process his words, whereas he seemed to catch himself the second he’d stopped talking. It stunned you, to say the least. Minho had dropped an atomic bomb on you, unsure of how to deal with the fallout.
“Minho–”
“Forget I said anything. Just… please go.” His request stung, your throat closed and tears pricked behind your eyes.
The thought of another person leaving you, it made you retort, “okay. But making me leave right now– drunk and sad and vulnerable… You’re no better than him. Especially not after that shit show of a confession.” Minho didn’t look away from you as you walked away, grabbing your bag and coat and slamming the door on the way out.
You’d barely made it onto the sidewalk before you let the tears fall. Except now, you weren’t sure what exactly you were crying over. Seungmin? Minho? The fact that everyone seems to think of you as no more than a magnet for men who wanted a good fuck? You’d gotten maybe five minutes down the street before your legs went numb, brain overriding with shame.
Everyone that you’d thought to be close to all thought the same thing, just another reckless girl using her body as a cry for help. Maybe Seungmin thought he could be your savior, Minho sure seemed to. At least your ex boyfriend was more upfront about his jealousy, whereas Minho used your “self objectification” against you. So you stumbled onto your butt, sitting on the cold concrete curb with just a thin jacket to shield you from the late night air.
The tears fell quietly, everything in you refusing to waste the energy. You don’t know what you were thinking when you pulled out your phone and typed in the number you knew by pure muscle memory. You sent multiple texts, teetering along the lines of just keyboard smashes and single full words that could only be the outcome of the alcohol. It just so happened that you’d also left all your common sense behind at Minho’s place, because the one coherent sentence that you sent was, “i mizs yo.”
And then, your phone rang. “Y/N? Are you drunk? It’s late,” his voice echoed in the speaker, groggy.
“Seung?” It came out more like a choke, throat burning as you gulped for air.
“Are you okay? Where are you?”
You looked around, unable to pinpoint your location. “I– I don’t know.”
“O– okay. Just stay put. I’ll find you.” He hung up before you could respond, shakily dropping your phone into your lap as you realized what you’d just done.
Seungmin threw his covers off, feet slipping into his house slippers and grabbing the first jacket he saw. Just as he was slinging it over his shoulders, the bed moved. “Seungmin? What’re you doing? Come back to bed,” a girl’s voice called out.
The woman he’d been seeing in your absence sat up and rubbed her eyes at the sudden light being turned on. He didn’t bother glancing at her or giving her the chance to adjust, “you need to leave. I won’t be gone long, but you need to be out of here by the time I get back.” Seungmin didn’t say another word to her as he grabbed his wallet, phone, and keys and left.
He pulled out the phone’s tracking app and found your contact, starting the directions to start his search. Upon starting the map, he sent you a quick text saying he’d be there in ten minutes and not to move a muscle. You– still drunk and still unable to think of anything but how tingly your face felt– didn’t see it.
You were trying your hardest to stay awake when footsteps padded loudly down the sidewalk. Seungmin had called your name, getting your attention for a second before you tried to stand and fell into the pavement again. 
“Woah, woah. Slow down. Are you hurt? Why are you out here alone?” He bombarded you with questions, but the last one struck a nerve. The alcohol gave you both confidence and mood swings.
“You’re asking me why I’m drunk and alone?” You rolled your eyes at him, lingering in silence for a split second. Seungmin gulped, but the nerves died down when you clumsily linked your arm through his and dragged him to start walking.
“Where are we going?” He asked.
“Home.”
“Home is the other way.”
“Home is where I say home is.”
He was right, his apartment– your previous one– was in the opposite direction. But you turned the corner and rounded the block just to get back on track. Seungmin didn’t protest, still too stunned at himself for even being in the same vicinity as you again.
Everything he’d built for himself, the peace of being alone, turning the apartment into his safe haven, the relationship with the girl that he’d just ruined by kicking her out in the middle of the night, all probably turned into dust because he’d given in to your drunk texts. And for what? Because he just couldn’t resist.
Extremely selfish. Problematic. Narcissistic. Self serving. Needy. Fragile. Soft. Bending but never breaking. Caring. Hopeful. Too good for the cruel world. Golden.
More words that flowed through Seungmin’s head as you held tightly onto his arm, letting him act as a crutch while you tried not to face plant into the floor. And as he led you into the apartment, you held him back in the doorway. You didn’t say a single word, just staring up at him with round and glazed over eyes. Oh, how badly he wanted to kiss you, but everything about the pleading look you had told him not to. Instead, he led you to the bedroom. He’d completely forgotten about the girl until he opened the door, relieved to see no one there. However, there was a note left on the bedside table, which you’d not seemed to notice as you stumbled towards the bed.
Seungmin let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, watching you drunkenly undress yourself down to your undergarments. However, you stopped just as you were about to climb under the covers, shirt and pants pooled at your feet. You leaned into the pillow and inhaled deeply. “She was here,” you slurred.
His brain raced, not sure what to say or how you’d react. So he just said, “yes.”
To his surprise, you shrugged, tossing the comforter over the pillow and trudging towards him. Amidst your clambering around the room, searching for a blanket, you muttered as you pushed past your ex boyfriend and looked him dead in the eye, “I made out with Minho.” Seungmin didn’t speak as you pushed past him, flabbergasted at your admittance.
He just watched as you laid yourself out on the couch in just your underwear and panties, spreading the blanket over you and fluffing the throw pillow. Even through the aching in his chest, Seungmin managed to push the coffee table away from the couch as you laid your head down. Before you could fully get comfortable, he’d ran back into the bedroom to grab two more blankets and his pillow to lay on the floor beside you. Your eyes threatened to shut, drowsiness finally catching up. Just as the darkness started to over take you, you found yourself spilling more of what had happened.
“I liked kissing him. He told me he loved me. Also said you were a shit boyfriend.” Seungmin sat still at your side, taking in all the information. “Said I was an object. Sai–” you hiccuped, “said really nice things to me, too. B– but I was just r– reeeeeaaaally h– horny. And mad at you. M— missed you a lot, Seung.”
Seungmin raised a hand to your hair, pushing it out of your face, “did you, now?”
You nodded, cupping your hand over his before he could pull away, nuzzling deeper into his palm. “Mhm. He’s not you. She isn’t me,” another hiccup, “I’m not me without you.”
“You won’t remember this in the morning,” he whispered, only half hoping his prediction was correct. Another part of him wished that you were saying this sober. But no amount of money or alcohol could have put your pride aside enough for you to, him either. He’d never admit how badly he wished you would have stayed and talked things through.
“Remind me.” Your head lulled back, sleep wanting to overtake your senses. But you fought it, wanting to get your thoughts out before sobriety caused you to cower away again. “She smells like s– shit. You c– could’ve let someone who smelled better sleep in m– my bed.”
There was no denying it, it is your bed. Just before you could fully succumb to the darkness, Seungmin placed a soft kiss to your forehead. “Just keeping it warm for you,” he tucked you tighter under the blanket and laid himself down, peering up to watch as you drifted off.
Seungmin didn’t sleep much, he was an earlier riser anyways so the two hours he’d gotten on the floor was enough. He’d made himself hot water for some pour-over coffee and a little extra for tea when you’d wake up. Then he watched the sunrise on the balcony and decided to make some breakfast as well. Now that you were here, whether you did it because you really missed him or not, he was going to treat you the way he should’ve done in the first place. It was like he was planning your first date all over again with how nervous he felt waiting for you to open your eyes. Every time you stirred, Seungmin thought how unprepared he was to speak to you.
Thankfully, you didn’t get up until around 10 a.m. By then, the hot water was cold and he had to reheat it in the kettle, warm up the eggs and pop the toast back in the toaster to serve it to you with a couple aspirin. You were wide awake, but laid staring at the ceiling for about five minutes before you worked up the courage to face your ex boyfriend again.
When you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and sat up, the blanket fell to reveal your mostly naked body. You scrambled to cover yourself, hearing soft laughter coming from over the back of the couch. Seungmin sat at the island counter, sipping on another cup of coffee. He didn’t want to say it, but he was amused by how shy you were despite having seen you naked hundreds of times before.
“I’m so sorry about last night,” you groggily mumbled, combing your hair down as best as you could. He just smiled and shook his head, picking up the plate of food and mug and bringing it over to you. As you took it, he seated himself on the floor again, blankets and pillows from last night still laid out. It smelled wonderful, a hangover and pounding headache having no effect on your sudden hunger. Bringing the piece of toast to your mouth, you noticed his sleeping place from last night. “Did you sleep on the floor?”
Seungmin nodded, “didn’t really wanna leave you alone again.” Your conversation with him from the night before came flooding back, blush creeping over your cheeks as you also remembered the events with Minho. He saw your change of expression, but chose to ignore it.
“I meant it,” you said, popping the aspirin in your mouth and swallowing it dry. He cocked his head in confusion. “She really did smell like shit. You could’ve at least gotten her a better perfume.” Seungmin was still walking on eggshells, unsure of how to react until you started laughing. He let himself joke with you, toppling over in happiness just because you were laughing with him again.
But as the laughter died down, Seungmin looked down into his lap and thought of how he’d approach the impending elephant in the room. “So you remember last night, then?” He said quietly.
“Every word.”
“Did you really mean it?”
“Drunk words are sober thoughts, aren’t they?” You placed the now empty plate of food onto the open couch cushion. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“I’ll always take care of you.” A fond smile warped across his face, still so helplessly in love with the idea of you. “I missed you, too.” The way he stared up at you made it so hard not to pull him in right then and there. But the longer your eyes lingered on his, the more the need to touch him, to feel him, drown in his scent grew stronger. To keep the reins on a little longer, you opted to just reach out and hold his chin under your finger, thumb extending and brushing over his plump lips. His eyelashes fanned his cheeks, breath stuttering slightly before letting out a deep sigh.
You pulled your hand back, breaking him from his few moments of peace. “Can I use the shower?” Seungmin found it hard to answer you, caught off guard so he just nodded rapidly. You patted his hair as you stood, enjoying the way he watched you like a lost puppy. As you approached the doorway, you stopped and turned to face him again. “Aren’t you coming?”
Seungmin had never moved so fast in his life.
But in contrast to how quickly he followed you into the same bathroom you’d spent your last few moments together in, you made sure he took his time to undress just for your viewing pleasure. You slowly lifted his shirt above his head, turning on the shower as he dropped his shorts next. Still just clad in your underwear and bra, you let him strip them both off of you and climb under the water together. Seungmin moved you under the water first, making sure to get all of your hair and body wet before pouring some shampoo into his palm. It was comfortable, the silence that surrounded the two of you. He rubbed the product around until it became foamy, telling you to hold up your hair so he could reach both the underside and the top. Your eyes closed as he massaged your scalp, so gently that you hummed. How sweet you sounded, relaxed under his touch.
When he was done, Seungmin removed the shower head and held it closer to your head, rinsing away any leftover residue. His fingers rubbed tighter into your skin, making you lean harder into his touch and hum even louder. He smiled, but felt himself starting to raise a chub. The effect you had on him was unfair even though you had no idea of it at the moment.
Once your hair was rinsed, he toyed with the idea of lowering the shower head. He watched your face, still not paying any attention to anything other than the warmth of the water. So he crept lower and focused the jet streams over the tops of your breasts, smiling to himself when your nipples started to perk up. Seungmin kept going, holding the water closer to your left nipple and twisting the shower head to increase the pressure. It spurted out larger streams of water, directly hitting your sensitive skin. Your head fell back, biting your lip lightly at the stimulation. He gave the same attention to your other breast before lowering ever further.
Your mind was starting to become hazy and overrun at the same time, unsure of what to do as he guided your back against the shower wall again. He hiked your leg up the same way, only this time the shower head was still in his hand and just barely missing your bundle of nerves. His head tipped back, taunting you as he opened his mouth to speak. “What do you want, pup?”
A whimper fell from your lips, searching for his hand to guide the jet stream to where you wanted it. But he resisted, “use your words.”
“Make me cum,” you opened your eyes and pleaded, “please.”
“You always ask so nicely in the mornings.” With your leg draped over the crook of his elbow, Seungmin pressed the water into your clit. Your nails clawed at his biceps and shoulders, head hitting the wall as you struggled to keep your eyes locked on him. The water was significantly stronger than when he used it on your breasts, but just barely hitting your core to slowly build up your high.
Your hips bucked up searching for the water every time he moved it, pulling the stream away just to watch you chase it. Seungmin lived to tease you, loving the way your body reacted when you didn’t get what you wanted. God knows you did in every other aspect of your relationship. You versus the shower head was no different.
The knot in your stomach was building quickly, not entirely used to the sensation the hard pressure of the water gave you. But Seungmin was unrelenting, constantly pulling back so that as soon as you got further worked up you’d lose it almost instantly. “No more teasing, please,” you begged and gripped onto his hand that held the water source.
“Beg more, pup. How badly do you want to cum?” His hand slid down to your ass, pulling you forward by the flesh.
“So fucking bad. Need you, Seung,”
“Did you say that to him also?” You were taken aback by the question, knowing exactly what he was talking about. You also knew that lying to him would only bite you in the ass later.
So you answered honestly, “yeah. But you had another girl in my bed.”
He pressed the stream into your clit roughly, holding it steady and causing the one leg you balanced on to shake. Your nails raked across any bit of skin it came across and left red marks in their stride.
Seungmin watched you writhe and attempt to catch your release. “You left me.” He started to pull away when you caught his hand, forcing him to stay put.
“You left me, too,” you grit through your teeth, pushing the water harder into you and holding onto him for dear life. Hunger took over your body, jerking into the stream as he watched with a devious grin on his face.
He was angry, rightfully so. You’d taken so much from him over the course of your relationship, walking out of him after that night was just icing on the cake to him. Seungmin hated that he wanted to wait for you, which only made him want to leash the next girl that showed him any interest out of hope that it’d erase you from his mind. But it only made him feel worse. He looked for you in her, looked for glimpses of what he used to have.
Even so, Seungmin wanted nothing more than to please you.
He could’ve overpowered you easily, but let you continue to work yourself closer and closer to your high everytime you guided the faucet in his hand along your pussy, clenching around nothing. He loved seeing the look on your face as you came, contorted and lost in bliss. So as the knot in your gut started to break he ordered you to keep your eyes open, stay looking at him as you came. Doing as he said, you forced yourself to lock onto his smug smirk, the way he stared down at you so condescendingly. And the knot finally snapped, much stronger than you’d expected and made you screw your eyes shut. The one thing you did manage to do was call out his name.
The handle on your ass held you steady as your body shook, eventually hanging the shower head back up, turning it off, and letting you drop your weight into him. His hand stroked your hair back as you breathed into his chest, leg still propped up on his arm. You were only given a brief moment of rest before you were being lifted by your other leg and carried out of the shower. Seungmin walked you out of the bathroom and plopped you down still soaking wet.
“Seung, the bed!” You exclaimed, trying to sit up so your hair didn’t drench the sheets. He tugged you towards him by your ankles, sending you sliding along the mattress.
“You just take whatever you want, pup,” he forcefully pushed your legs up by the underside of your thighs, hooking them over his shoulders and bending over you. “Just don’t know when to give back, do you? Don’t you see I need you too?” He squinted a bit at you, biting the inside of his cheek.
His body warmth spread all around you, engulfing you until–
“I can still smell her.” You practically spit in his face, rubbing in his not-so-infidelity. Your legs closed, clamping your ankles around his head and tugging him in so your lips brushed his. “Like cheap, rotten perfume. Just how you like it, right Seung?”
How quickly you turned the gun back at him, barrel full and ready to be fired.
“Maybe you should run back to your bartender then. I’ll send you back to him full of cum.” He grabbed the base of his cock and aligned it with your entrance. Your pussy throbbed, needing his touch more than anything as arousal seeped out of you.
“If you don’t kiss me right now, I just might.” The threat pulled a growl-like moan from his chest, crashing his lips into you as he pushed the blunt head of his cock past your folds. Feeling him stretch you out had you moaning into his mouth to which he swallowed each and every one. He filled you with little to no resistance, burying himself to the hilt in an instant. Gently, he pulled out and slammed himself back into you, slowly making a statement. It was possessive, how badly he wanted to claim you and make sure everyone knew who’s name you had written across your heart– even though his words said otherwise.
Seungmin could’ve easily gone without muttering another word about the bartender for as long as he lived, but the part of him that wanted to wipe the man off the face of the earth was also the same part that wanted to see you crash and burn. He wanted you to need him so badly that he’d use go to any lengths to get you to see that.
His hips continued to pull slowly only to hammer you into the mattress, keeping this steady pace. Your hands searched for something– anything to hold on to, finding solace along his wrists that were pinned on either side of your head. For a second, Seungmin paused, debating on if he were to give in and take your hands in his. He wanted to, but was it too intimate too fast? How watery and begging your eyes looked up at him, he malfunctioned and leaned in to kiss you instead. Physical touch was always something you loved, especially in these high tension moments, but that was also something you only got when you deserved it. And Seungmin didn’t think you earned it quite yet.
As he left quick, constant kisses to your lips, just enjoying the feeling of your skin, he stayed buried inside and dropped your right leg from off his shoulder, moving to straddle it instead. He left you with one long and sensual kiss before pushing off you, leaving you shivering from the sudden rush of cold air. However his hands didn’t leave you for very long. Seungmin harshly grabbed the sides of your hips, pushing them hard into the mattress while he stayed put, dragging his cock along your walls again. When he let them go, the bed springs shoved you up again, filling you.
You whined as his pelvis rubbed languidly against your clit, still swollen and raw. A wicked smirk played along his lips, loving how easily you caved to his liking. He did it again, bruising grips on your hip bones made you almost melt into the bed until you were sprung back to life with his cock splitting you in two. Your moans echoed off the walls, morning sun filling the room and making your hazy vision of the man over you look that much more angelic. Tears brimmed your eyes from how badly you wanted to stay focused on him, but the way he kept emptying and stuffing you made your head fuzzy.
“Look at you, pup. Bet he couldn’t get you dumb and crying like this. You just loved being filled with cock, hm?” Seungmin shuffled and sat higher, lifting your hips off the bed and slamming you up into him, mewls filling the space.
You were almost completely incoherent, but the mention of the other man snapped you back to reality. “Wouldn't you like to know. You’ve gotten used to her faking her orgasms, haven’t you? Don’t remember what it’s like to really make a woman cum.” Your backtalk was something new for the both of you. Brattiness wasn’t typically in your nature, but it triggered something in him. He let your left leg drop from his shoulder to rest over his thigh, tightening his hands around you and letting the primitive need to fuck take over his senses.
Seungmin pounded into you at a bone crushing pace, skin slapping skin bouncing off the walls. “So selfish,” he grunted, “already made you cum once, now you’re trying to rile me up to fuck you harder. Could’ve just said please.” His head tipped back, eyes shutting. You warm walls wrapped around him, hearing you mumble his name over and over like a prayer, he didn’t need much else to tip over the edge.
But you kept running your mouth, finding his arms again and leaving crescent marks into his skin. “You didn’t make me cum, the shower did. Try harder, pup.” At that point, you were already so close to another orgasm, the top of his cock gliding along your clit every time he thrusted into you.
He dropped you back onto the bed, palms of his hands digging into you to keep you pinned in place as his pounding turned into shallow, quick hammers. The new form had you locking your hands around his arms tighter, crying out in pleasure as the scooting motion rocked your brain into the next morning. Your mouth dropped, forming an “O” shape. Seungmin mockingly laughed at your face, leaning over and gathering saliva under his tongue. Messily, he spit into your gaping mouth, following by leaning over and sliding his tongue across yours to spread the foreign liquid. Your lips closed around the muscle, attempting to hold onto whatever control you had left. But when you let go and he pulled away, the string of saliva that connected the two of you had your eyes crossing and rolling back.
“That’s right, cum all over my cock. Remember who fucks you like this, dumb and greedy. My dirty little pup.” His words were enough to send you head first into the tidal wave that was your orgasm, powerful and making your vision go white. Your nails scraped his wrists, drawing the smallest bit of blood as your body convulsed.
Your cunt clenched impossibly tight around him, keeping his cock lodged deep inside as your walls pulsed and fluttered erratically. Watching you shudder and moan, Seungmin was so close. When you finally came back to earth, he moved to settle between both legs again, wrapping them around his waist. His hands ran smoothly up your body, caressing your back and pulling you up slightly so you were chest to chest. You felt limp, unable to move now that your body was buzzing and light.
With your own shaky hands, you wrapped them around his neck, pulling him by the hair to press your cheek into his. You were about to relax into him when his hips gently pulled out again, making you clench in overstimulation. “Just a little more,” he cooed, keeping you as close to him as possible.
Through the buzz, you managed to dreamily whisper, “are you gonna breed me, Seung? Fill me with your pups, fuck me full of them?”
“Fuck–” He turned his head and gently bit your earlobe, groaning deeply as he sloppily chased his high.
“Do it. Make me yours. Stuff me like I know you want to.” A few more stuttering, deep thrusts and he stilled, moaning out, cock pulsating as he unloaded heavy and thick spurts of cum into you. You could feel the warm sperm coating the inside of your walls, humming while the two of you caught your breaths.
He didn’t let go of you, in fact, he held you tighter. But as the tension fell comfortably again, you began to come to terms of what had just occurred. “You better burn these sheets, Kim Seungmin,” you teased, brushing his hair back as he laid his head on your chest.
“As you wish,” he mumbled, leaving gentle, sleepy kisses along your skin.
It was silent, just listening to one another’s breathing and steadying heartbeats. Your mind still raced of all the things the two of you needed to talk about, but hoped that it would come in time and not ruin the sweet moment of peace. Everything was just so perfect, not a care in the world. Sleep threatened to overtake him this time, eyes fluttering gently as he nuzzled deeper into you. The delirium etched into the words he spoke, “only toxic women enjoy tequila.”
You laughed, kissing his wet hair and wrapping your legs snugger around him. “You love it.”
“Please don’t let me go again.” You almost didn’t catch his words, how quietly he said them.
Your heart wrenched, twisting and making you feel almost nauseous. Unwrapping your arms and pulling his face up to look at him, you pecked his lips. “That damned Don Julio,” you tickled his nose with yours softly, letting him lay back down with a heavy heart. “Made me a fool for you.”
-
A/N: phew... kinda forgot about this series for a good minute but finally part 6!!! maybe the idea got kinda lost in the plot,,, but the smut is what most people read for anyways lol.
Enjoy! Feed back is always appreciated :3
-momo < 3
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nocturnvls · 1 year
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Kehlani | Open (Passionate)
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lovely-soul303 · 2 years
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You know that feeling when you listen to an album for the first time and you ain’t feeling it, than you listen to it 50 more times and it becomes one of your favorite albums.
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flamingpudding · 7 months
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Ghost Kitten
A/N: I got fascinated with the idea of Danny being Selina's son and then during work this sort of idea formed in my head.
Danny wasn't supposed to know yet. Jack had it all prepared for when Danny would get to learn about this. But this, this was not how Danny was supposed to learn about his origins yet. Jack Fenton wasn't sure how to react, so he ended up possible reacting in the worst way possible if he judged it by the way his sweet little boy was looking at them.
Jack tried to remember where it went wrong. Jazz had come to them, told them Danny wanted to have an important talk. That it was so important that she needed both of them to focus on him seriously. It had worried Maddie and him at first and when they sat down on the couch facing their children they weren't sure what to expect. But then his boy told him about the accident he had in the lap, about how things changed even asking them if they ever noticed how Danny's behaviours changed.
Jack had to admit then, that he hadn't really noticed and it made his mouth taste like dirt. He didn't like where this was going. He saw how his children exchanged a glance and then his sweet boy told them the truth and Jack could feel the horror overtaking his entire mind. The accident had changed Danny even worse.
He couldn't help but remember a term he had last heard long ago before his collage years even. Meta Human. His son had become a Meta human with ghost based powers and had kept it a secret from them for so long. Jack didn't know how to react then and still didn't know now. All he could think about were the horrors he had put his sweet little son through. All the times he had offhandedly said he would tear him apart molecule by molecule. In how much fear did his son have to live until he gathered enough courage to tell them, most likely only because Jazz was there to support him?
Jack didn't want to imagine it anymore. All he wanted was to hug his little boy and tell him that everything would be okay but before he could do anything. Maddie, his until then wonderful, wife told them something in return they had an agreement over when to tell them.
"You're adopted. You are not my child."
Until then Jack had always thought Maddie loved Danny just as much as he did but as he locked at his wife and saw the steely coldness flickering in them with distress. He wasn't so sure anymore. Torn between being angry at Maddie for the first time after so long and wanting to comfort his boy, Jack could do nothing but sat frozen as his beloved family broke apart before his eyes.
Suddenly Maddie and Jazz got into a headed argument, Danny was starting to draw into himself, making himself smaller watching his mother and sister fight. Until Maddie stormed out fo the room. Jazzie gave him a challenging look but Jack didn't know what to say so instead, what he had planned to tell his son when he turned 18 he was going to tell him now.
"Danny you know how we have barely any contact with family from my side? There is a reason behind it. But the important part here is that the only one I do keep sort of contact with is my fourth cousin and even that is nothing more than a couple messages ever few months."
"And what does that have to do with Danny?" Jazz pressed on while his little boy finally got the courage to look up at him.
"Dann-no, I need for you to now that no matter what you are or what I am going to tell you, you are my little boy, my son." Jack did everything he could to stare reassuringly at his boy and smiled once he saw him smile just a little too, he was most likely relieved that he was taking the news better than his mother.
"About 16 year ago, my fourth cousin contacted me out of the blue, till then we had only exchanged a couple of words and theories and projects. But that time was different. She was panicked, unsure and distressed. I don't know the specifics, all she told me was that she had gotten pregnant with a child from a fling who she wasn't sure wanted a relationship with or not and that she couldn't take care of a child in a city as dangerous as where she lived."
Understanding dawned on his daughter's face and Jack smiled fondly, Jazzie-pants had always been a smart cookie. "She didn't want to put the baby into her system, nor let a stranger take care of it. So she asked me and the moment I saw the little baby the first time. I knew he would be my son no matter what or how long she would want for me to take care of him."
Danny blinked wide eyed at Jack as finally his boy also understood what he was telling him. "Technically you are my fifth cousin, but I would prefer for you to stay my son for as long as you want."
He left his children after telling Danny the truth of his origin. Jack new he would love his son no matter what he was or his reaction towards the truth of his origins. Still he hoped this would not tear his family apart and that it would only take a day or two for Maddie to cool off for things to go back to an adjusted normal. Jack mused that he would have to diele back on the ghost ripping comments, he wouldn't want for his little boy to live in fear in their own house.
That what he thought until he saw his wife stewing in their bedroom, muttering about theories and how their boy wasn't their boy. He knew his wife, and dearly loved her. But it was because he knew her that he did the next thing he felt like regretting the next moment.
Danny is no longer safe with us. - J
He didn't get an answer from his cousin and the next morning he knew why. He did expect for her to want to remove Danny from their care, but he did not expect her to visit him with barely any time delay the next day.
All he could do was to stare and watch as Selina appeared on his doorstep with a man that was glaring at him and Jack might have only seen in magazines before, asking if she could meet her boy and how much he had already told Danny about his birth. And when he saw his baby boy's reaction to the two he wanted to do nothing more than hug and cuddle his little boy but once again, he got beaten to it by his fourth cousin.
His poor boy looked so unsure when Selina hugged him that Jack really wanted to take him away again, but he had no other choice, if he wanted to ensure his boy's safety.
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