#it was literally my first thought upon seeing them oof

[ambriel-angstwitch]

So I was thinking about Ninjago, as one does, and what I realized is that FSM’s Family has inter-generational trauma.

So there can’t really be any certainty when the spread started since FSM’s parents grew up on different sides of a war that has been raging for centuries, but I’m going to go more in-depth into all the members of his family we know more about.

Seabound Spoilers!

We’ll start with FSM himself. FSM was raised in a war. There is pressure put on him to fight in and/or end the war. This pressure becomes to much so he flees to another realm, unfortunately this realm isn’t free of conflict. He seems to form some kind of relationship with Nyad from what we see and we know how that ends. So he’s lost probably the first friend he ever had. Then from there because of his creation powers and longevity, he is hailed as a god, which I don’t really know if that’s what he wanted, he fled his original realm because of pressure and being a god is even more pressure. He then because of the way he grew up and the status he holds puts pressure on his children. They have to be good. Unfortunately the whole great devourer thing happens only adding to the problems this family has. Now one of his sons is cursed to be bad, no matter how hard he tries he’ll never be that perfect son. FSM seems to be mad at both of his sons for this occurrence but first and foremost he’s concerned, he loves both his sons and tries to help them but he can’t fix this.

Then we have the next generation which is Wu and Garmadon. Garmadon tries to be there for his son and tries to be a good father but then he’s sent to the underworld and when he comes back their destined to fight so well he cares he can’t actually be there for Lloyd. Then he’s actually a pretty good dad once his evil has been cured. But actually where we see the generational trauma more present is in Wu. Wu who used to be the mischievous of the brothers now feels the need to be the good one because his brother can’t be. He feels the need to undo the damage he is partially at fault for. So he studies the ninja ways and the scrolls harder. Then he finds his student Morro who he trains to be the green ninja.

Which brings us to the last generation Morro and Lloyd. Morro was raised by Wu. Wu placed high expectations on Morro because Wu had high expectations placed on him. Morro trains and trains under Wu and is told that he could be the green ninja. But he isn’t, Wu was wrong. But Morro can’t accept this because that’s what his purpose was, he was supposed to be great. So he tries to force destiny and dies and you all know the rest of the story. Then Lloyd has the opposite problem where he never wanted to be the green ninja but it’s forced upon him. So he has to train and he has to fight his dad. Once again there is so much pressure put on a literal child. Lloyd also has to then deal with much more trauma than just the inter generational kind. I mean all the battles and all his friends dying oof.

Also in case it wasn’t clear this is not a hate post towards FSM or Wu. While some of they’re actions may not be the best, they’re people and people are flawed. I genuinely believe that both of them were trying to do what they thought was best, but their experience may have skewed their decision making a bit.

(This has been in my drafts for so long. Oopsie)

#ninjago #lloyd garmadon #first spinjitzu master #ninjago fsm #ninjago wu #ninjago nyad #lord garmadon #ninjago morro #morro #ninjago garmadon #sensei wu #sensei garmadon

[thedemonicpup]

      Toxic Breathing

By Ripley Salem

                           Chapter 6: Firecracker

   Addie looks toward the door when she hears the voice. She knows that voice all too well. She looks up at Royal, with tears streaming down her face, laughing. “Speak of the fucking devil!” Addie wiggles out of Royal’s arms and runs to the door. She gently moves Milah out of the way and opens the door. Addie finds Nova in the hands of some guy. “Nova!” Royal swiftly follows Addie’s tracks and his eyes smile largely seeing Nova unhurt and in the arms of some random tall dude with white hair “Uh..who is this Nova?” Royal quizzically asks. Nova laughs and smirks at Addie’s reaction “Well shit Addie thanks for reminding me of my name, not that I've fucking forgotten it or something!” Nova looks over at Royal “Hey dickhead, this is Blade the asshat that just picked my ass up from my brother” Blade chuckles “I figured that you wouldn’t want your ringleader to die, I was watching, pretty selfless for this pretty little thing to let you all go on ahead” Addie laughs at Nova’s sass. She looks at Blade. “Thank you for saving Nova.” Addie had happy tears falling down her face as she looked at Nova. She had thought she had lost her best friend. Nova scowls and playfully narrows her eyes at Blade, she kicks Blade lightly in the balls as a warning “Hey! I might be small but shit I can fucking bite back!” Blade groans and drops the small girl onto the floor to clutch his special region, Nova cackles and lands on her feet almost feline like in nature “why did you do that?!” Blade groans, Royal winces as he sees Nova even though it was light the pain he could see in Blade's face sent a sympathy pain into his groin. Addie sniffles and laughs at her best friend's antics “Y..you're still here! And you're still you!” Nova rolls her eyes in a playful manner at Addie as she was stating the literal obvious “well duh! I'm still me, who else would I be? The freaking president or some shit?” Nova giggles sarcastically. Milah and Aether were both very happy to see the return of the scary but nice small girl, Aether gets up from the floor and does a cute little jog over to the others, he was starting to feel like he belonged. This was a first for him, Aether once reaching the rest of the party smiles happily at Nova “I'm so happy to see you alive” Aether glances back towards his sister whom was in complete shock in Nova's return and how gentle Addie was in moving her aside, conflicting feelings were coursing through Milah's system. 

   As Blade recovers from the light attack from Nova a loud crash is heard that catches the attention of everyone else, looking over with wide and fearful eyes Nova, Addie, Royal, Blade and Aether's eyes fall upon one of these creatures but this creature appeared more advanced, the growths on its face had elongated and curved almost creating petal like shaped appendages, Aether was curious he wanted a closer look at this thing. “Yeah, it's time to you know…lock up shop” Nova suggests to which Blade agrees, Royal notices something about Blade that no one else had picked up, Royal observes that Blade hasn't once looked in the direction of this more advanced creature but rather he had kept his eyes down and on Nova for some reason. “Yes, everyone inside now!” Blade instructs. Addie knew the dangers and so did Royal, there was no telling them twice as they hastily make their way back into their now base camp, Blade ushers Nova inside to which she flips him off and shoves Blade into the door of the grocery store, “Oof! Ok, ok I'm going.” Blade mutters as he rubs his nose on his entrance into base camp. The only people left outside now was Nova and Aether, Aether starts taking steps closer to the advanced creature which Nova grabs him “Hey! Listen to me, you really don't want to find out what that thing does. Get your ass into the store right now Aether” Aether though wanting to approach this thing he knew if he didn't want his ass handed to him, face certain death and lose friends all at the same time. 

   Reluctantly Aether makes it look like he was going to buck it into the grocery store but instead runs towards the creature, to Nova's annoyance “fucking kids” She grumbles as she chases after Aether. Aether gets closer to this creature which was coming closer and closer to him, its petal like features seemed a little familiar to Nova, she remembered something that her brother was talking about in one of his hellfire club's campaigns, a creature called the Demogorgon, upon the realisation that this once human was now turning into a Demogorgon her blood runs cold. “Aether, I'm not kidding you need to come back here right now” Nova warns the rebellious youngster, the creature roars out as its petal like appendages were growing something like razor sharp teeth, Aether sees this which immediately frightens him turning back and running behind Nova “get your ass back inside right now Aether, we will be having words” Nova through her gritted teeth mutters to Aether. Making a quick dash back into the safety of the grocery store Aether reunites with his sister who was still standing, completely shocked, Blade looks at Aether “OK, squirt where is Nova now?” Addie nods worriedly looking at the door whilst remaining close by to Royal, Aether looks completely shaken as he glances over to Blade, his naturally fair skin had turned Porcelain white. Nova comes back into the grocery store backwards and shuts the door “Barricade that bitch right now” She instructs to which Royal and Blade rush to put anything and everything in front of the door, once satisfied that they were safe for now Nova looks at Aether “I really don't know what your plan was there, but it was a fucking stupid one. Don't ever defy me again, got it?” Aether looks Nova in the eyes, he could see she was dead serious he meekly nods and mutters an apology to her before hiding behind his sister. “What was that, Novs?” Addie asks her best friend, Nova looks at Addie who she knew had been a part of her brother's campaigns “Remember the Demogorgons?” Addie thinks on this for a brief moment before her eyes widen “y..yeah? Why?” Nova takes a breath before telling her best friend what she had just witnessed “The creatures are evolving, those growths they had around their faces well, they've turned into petal like appendages with teeth. They are turning into Demogorgons.” Addie's jaw drops and her heart sinks.

(( Special Thanks to @hellfirekitten86 for the grammatical stuffs!))

#toxic breathing #ocs #zombie apocalypse #fanfic #general fiction #angst #Nova Munson #Addie Marwood #Royal Ravenmoon #Aether Myer #Milah Myer #Blade Abbot

[morning-might-arrive]

Wow. Happy year and some change to this story. Seriously, thank you guys for continuing to show attention to my work even though I’ve been gone a while. I was “going through it” as the kids say but now I’m in a new city with a new job and new friends! I didn’t wanna make this post too long so I split the final part into two. The last part will be posted shortly.

CW for some light swearing A series of misunderstandings involving a limousine and Spectra’s blog lead Jackson to the realization that he has way more friends than he thought.

Thursday

“JACKSON! HOLT!” Mama Hyde’s voice boomed from the upper floor of the house.

“OKAY BYE MOM I’MLEAVINGNOWLOVEYOU!” Jackson yelled back as he shut the door and literally sprinted down the walkway in the direction of the high school.

It hadn’t been his fault, really! He just wanted breakfast and that vase had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he had finished cleaning it up just a moment sooner, he may never have been found out. Jackson scoffed internally- for all that moms had freaked out when they learned that he and Holt knew about each other, they loved being able to reprimand them interchangeably and hold one accountable for the other’s actions. Which reminded him, he really should do something nice for Holt. It wasn’t really fair that he took the heat when Jackson was the one who lit some of Crossfade’s droppings on fire on the neighbor lady’s porch after she’d berated Draculaura and made her cry. He had no idea how his mother had found out in the first place, but maybe seeing Dracula on his porch that evening struggling to contain his laughter behind his tea while watching her frantically try to put it out had tipped her off.  It was most of the reason he couldn’t bring himself to be too pissed at Holt about the car. Oh, and he should probably check with the rental company, Saturday was fast approaching and he wanted to make sure everything was in place for-

“OOF!”

He was pulled forcefully from his thoughts by his books scattering everywhere and his ass hitting the floor. He looked up to see who he had carelessly bumped into this time and cursed himself internally when his eyes fell upon a blush pink colored carnation and then a matching pair of eyes. 

‘Oh my ghoul- I’m so sorry…Valentine!” He stuttered.

“That’s alright, darlin’. Just be more careful next time. Can’t have you fallin’ for me too hard.” He replied, smirking. He reached a hand down to help Jackson back to his feet, winked, and then was gone with a confident flourish. 

Jackson picked up his belongings from the ground while trying to manage the flush he could feel creeping up onto his face, then heard a new voice from above.

“Y’know Jackson, maybe if you weren’t such a clumsy dork, I could actually stand to be seen with you.”

“Hey, Toralei.”

“Hey yourself, normie,” She hopped down from the top of the lockers to join him. “Didn’t know tall, dark, and sleazy had a thing for you.”

“Pfft. I doubt it. I think he just says that stuff to mess with me,”  He replied, feeling the heat that had been slowly drawing from his face return in full force. “Besides, you can never really tell what that guy's intentions are.”

“Yeah, I know what that’s like,“ Toralei stared thoughtfully in the direction Valentine had gone for a moment, before snapping out of it. “Hey, don’t you have PE with Manny and his goons this period?” She asked him.

“Yeah. we're playing flag football,” Jackson shuddered. “And no way can I convince Holt to stick this one out. He says that all the ‘sweaty stuff’ is for me to do since I love ‘handling balls’ so much. His words, not mine.”

Toralei laughed. “I have AP clawculus. How about we ditch instead?”

“Won’t we get in trouble?” Jackson asked. Though he did his fair share of rule breaking, it usually wasn’t intentional, and sometimes his inner teacher's pet jumped out at him still.

“Not if we don’t get caught, fool. Unless you’d rather go handle balls instead?” She teased. 

“Hey!”

She cackled and tore off in the opposite direction, and he gave chase. They took several winding turns through the old building before throwing open a pair of glass double doors that lead out towards the dumpsters, and then continued onto a relatively secluded path leading to the woods behind Monster High. Jackson put a hand up to avoid being scratched by branches as they breached through the tree-line, eyes darting around when he realized he lost sight of her. Suddenly a flash of orange entered his peripheral vision, and then his life flashed in front of his eyes as he was flipped over to the ground on his back in a small clearing. Toralei laid herself down after him, lying beside him in the opposite direction. 

“See? Told you it would be fine,” she said after taking a moment to settle down.

“Yeah, real stealthy,” Jackson replied, still reeling from his impact with the ground.

“Well we didn’t get caught, did we? And hey, you're getting pretty fast- Y’know for a human,” She quipped. Jackson tried not to flinch at those words, but she must have seen it anyway.

“Hey, I was just kidding!” She quickly tried to backpedal as her tone and expression softened in a way that was usually uncharacteristic of her. “You know I don’t think less of you for being half normie, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” He gave her a small but reassuring smile. “It’s just that a lot of other people…do.”

“Well, if they can’t look past what’s on the outside to see what you’re really like, they must be pretty fucking stupid,” Toralei responded, making a note to not bring it up again.

“Kinda like they do to you?” He asked.

“What?!”

“C’mon, Toralei, you may have everyone else fooled into thinking you’re all sharp claws and biting remarks, but not me. I see another side of you they don’t. Maybe if they just bothered looking a bit harder they’d find it,” he explained.

“And if you ever said that in public I’d claw out those pretty eyes of yours- but, God, you might be right,” she confessed. “Y’know I’m actually concerned about keeping my grades up now? I’ve even thought about college once or twice! I never really did that before I came here, or before I met Headmistress Bloodgood. Or before…I met you, really.”

“Hm. Maybe that side of you was always there, and you just couldn’t express it before,”  replied Jackson, thoughtfully.

“Yeah, that’s true. I definitely didn’t grow up in the most nurturing environment. I know that no excuse, I don’t really mean to be all ‘sharp claws’, I just don’t really know any other way to treat people. Hell, it was a complete accident that we became friends.”

“Heh. Yeah. ‘Accident’”.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She snapped.

“Toralei, do you remember how we met? I found you in the bell-tower, sobbing.”

“Yeah, I remember. You asked if I was okay,” she recalled.

“Yeah, and then you said ‘pass me those tissues, sweater vest, I’ve has the worst fucking day.’” Jackson chuckled fondly at the memory. “You were completely unbothered with what I thought of you because I so obviously don’t ‘run this place’ as you put it. I was never someone you were in competition with so you never treated me that way. Maybe if you were like that with everyone, they could see you the way I do.”

“Even if I wanted to, that’s easier said than done,” She said after a moment. “If only things were different.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Yeah, if only things could be different.”

The two sat in prolonged silence after that, just staring up at the endless blue sky. If only. If only she’d had the pampered childhood her siblings got. If only he was his own person, free from his duality, and prejudices, and expectations. Eventually, Toralei looked over to find Jackson staring at her.

“What?” She asked.

“You really think my eyes are pretty?” He shot back.

“Oh my God! Shut the entire fuck up!” She yelled, scandalized. 

Jacksons laughter echoed throughout the clearing, but was still drowned out by the sound of the school bell. He looked down at his phone.

“Oh man, that's the third block. We’ve been out here a while,” Jackson remarked, surprised. 

“You got somewhere to be?” Toralei asked.

“No. we had all our graduation requirements out of the way already and they couldn't really figure out a spot for us with the influx of new students, so we have free period on Thursdays before lunch.”

Toralei scoffed. “I wish they would figure out a solid schedule. It's like they were so focused on getting more students to come here they had no plan for when they actually came. Scheduling my classes for this semester was a complete clusterfuck.”

“A clusterfuck is a small price to pay to be able to go to a school like this one, honestly,” Jackson replied. He shuddered a little thinking of his day at the human high school across town and the whole “halloween incident” as he and Holt dubbed it. “Maybe they should build an extension or something.”

“Ha! On our budget? I’m impressed there’s still working toilets sometimes!” Toralei proclaimed, laughing.

Their banter continued a while longer until it was nearly time for lunch.

“Hey, listen-” They both started at once.

“Oh, sorry! You first!” Jackson insisted.

“I heard what’s happening Saturday.” Torelei stated bluntly.

“What?! How?” Jackson asked, a little taken aback.

“It’s all over the Ghostly Gossip.” She replied.

“Oh. Of Course. Well, that’s actually kind of what I wanted to talk about. I didn’t want you to feel put off or anything.”

“Put. Off. Have you lost your fucking mind?!” She screamed at him.

“Woah! Where is this coming from? We’re just going as friends, but I didn’t think you’d be bothered anyway!” He defended.

“Just…Going…” Toralei struggled to process for a moment. Then burst into laughter. Jackson looked on, hopelessly confused.  “Well, come on! We should be getting back now!” She grabbed his hand and led him back towards the building.

Upon re-entry, they were nearly run over by the rush of students trying to make it to lunch. He appears to have lost Toralei in the crowd, but was quickly accosted by Heath.

Hey, Bro! I saw you sneaking back in here with Toalei- mrrrreaw! What were you two doing?” He asked, shoving his elbow into Jackson’s ribcage. 

“Nothing you would find exciting,” Jackson replied, rolling his eyes at his cousin’s crudeness. He never really appreciated Heath’s innuendos, or the way he spoke about women in general.

“Sure. Oh, I think Bloodgood is looking for you. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about your little rendezvous, you can say you were with me.” Heath said.

“Thanks,” Jackson replied. He did appreciate Heath’s willingness to cover for him, though.

“You got it, dude!” He heard Heath yell after him as he made his way towards bloodgood’s office. He nodded towards Rochelle and Venus sitting in the hallway. They both waved back, looking a little apprehensive.

“Mr Jekyll! Please come in!” The Headmistress’s voice boomed from inside. 

He entered and sat in front of her desk to face her.

“Very good. I have received a note from your doctor excusing you from gym class on account of your injury sustained in some kind of accident. A class which you appear to have been mysteriously absent from,” She said.

He withered a little under her stern gaze. “Oh, yeah, uh, I was doing independent lab work in the catacombs. Heath was with me,” He replied, nervously glancing up towards his helix piercing. 

“Yes,” She continued, side eyeing him skeptically. “Anyway, It says you are to have this week's gym period off as well as the next. Is that correct?” 

“Yes ma’am.”

 “Excellent. Do not hesitate to let me know if you need anything else to assist in the healing process. And Jackson?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“You’re a very good student with a very bright future ahead of you. See to it that you continue attending your classes. Dismissed.”

“Okay. Thank you!” He responded before jumping up and hurrying out of the office, feeling her eyes on him as he went.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elsewhere, Torelai sat at her lunch table, poking at the wad of meat in front of her.

“It’s definitely beef,” Meawledy commented.

“Could be human for all we know,” Purrsephone replied. 

They all glanced at each other and collectively pushed their trays towards the center of the table. The two younger were-cats began hissing as their table was approached, but Toralei put up a hand, making them stop. Cleo walked with the same confident stride she always did, and flanked by Frankie and Clawdeen, she definitely turned a few heads.

“Your royal highness,” Torelai drawled sarcastically. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“We saw you fangin’ out with Jackson earlier,” Clawdeen spat almost accusingly.

“You didn’t go ruining the surprise, did you, hairball?” Cleo asked.

“Don’t get your bandages in a twist, I did no such thing!” Torelai replied in feigned shock. “I did learn something interesting though.”

“What’s that?” Frankie asked, bolts buzzing curiously.

Toralei thought for a second about what Jackson had said about not treating others like competition, but fuck that. This was way more fun.

“That’s for me to know, stitches, but I still plan on helping you. You know how I love to party.”

#monster high #jackson jekyll #Holt Hyde #toralei stripe #cleo de nile #toralei swears like a sailor #kieran valentine #mentions of jackson x valentine #also light toralei x jackson #can be read as platonic or romantic

[cosmicjoke]

“The snow came in flurries and seemed to melt when it touched His Face.

I feared for it, this fragile panel of wood, and this glistering lacquered image, meant to shine for all time.  But she thought of this too, and she quickly shielded the ikon from the wetness of the melting snow with her cloak.

I never saw it again.

But is there anyone who needs now to ask me what an ikon means to me?  Is there anyone who needs now to know why, when I saw the Face of Christ before me on the Veil of Veronica, when Dora held it high, this Veil, brought back from Jerusalem and the hour of Christ’s passion, by Lestat himself, through Hell and into the world, that I fell down on my knees, and cried, “It is the Lord?”

Oh, tears, tears everywhere.  That Armand associates the image of the ikon, of Christ’s face, with the last time he saw his mother, and that’s why it has so much of an impact on him, when he saw the one Lestat had brought back in “MtD”, oof.  This whole chapter, when Armand goes back to Kiev with Marius and sees his family again, one last time, just got me right in the heart.  There was just something incredibly poignant about it, about the genuine love between him and them.  Even his father, whom he’d seemed at first to have a bad relationship with, Armand’s new found love for him here, his new understanding of just how much his father truly loved him, was incredibly moving.  And you have to think, with all the horrible shit Armand went through, and has yet to go through in his life, at least he had this.  He had the genuine love and warmth of his family.  When his father says to him, after Armand gives him all the rings on his right hand, and promises to send more so that his family will always be provided for

“I don’t want this; I want you, my son.”

Ugh, that was just such a beautiful moment. 

The way too that Armand is able to understand upon seeing his father again how he saved him from the fanaticism of the brothers of the Monastery of the Caves

“Forget me now, Father,” I said.  “Forget me, as if the monks had sent me away.  But remember this, on account of you, I shall never be buried in the muddy graves of the Monastery.  No, other things may befall me.  But that, I won’t suffer.  Because of you, that you wouldn’t have it, that you came that day and demanded I ride out with you, that I be your son.”

This is truly a poignant moment, between father and son, of a son realizing how much his father loved him.  The way his father told him how he ran and ran after him to try and save him from the Tartars who kidnapped him, the way his father fell into despair and alcoholism thinking he’d been unable to save his son, etc...  Yeah man, this whole section of the book was just incredibly moving.  And part of what makes this part, where Armand tells his father that thanks to him, he’ll never be buried in the graves of the Monastery so effecting is that, as we know with Armand later, that’s almost exactly what DOES befall him again, when he’s forced into this awful, fanatical cult of devil worshiping vampires, almost literally living that same kind of life of extreme self-denial and minimalism.  It’s all the more tragic for knowing the life of luxury and art and learning that Armand lived with Marius, the life Marius was trying to prepare Armand for, truly taking him under his wing, and to know he was robbed of all that and forced, for centuries, into literal and figurative darkness.  Your heart really does have to break for him.  And again it sheds a greater light on just why he was so screwed up by Lestat’s appearance in Paris.  He must have looked at Lestat and seen the vampire he himself had been meant to be.  The life he was meant to live.  Damn, that must have been brutal for him.   

I also just continue to really be amazed not only by the parallels, but also the contrasts between Armand and Lestat, and what they may mean. 

While Armand no doubt looked at Lestat and saw the vampire he was meant to be, it’s interesting, because their paths were so totally different from one another in a lot of ways.  Armand, while he came from a poor village, and experienced deprivation, it was more due to his environment, not so much his family being poor, since his father was fairly wealthy from his abilities as a hunter.  Lestat, while a Lord, by contrast, was very much poor and his family relied upon him and him alone to provide for them, his own father being pretty much a useless sack of shit.  It’s also really interesting how Armand’s father encouraged him in his talent, whereas Lestat’s father did the exact opposite, punishing him for trying to be an actor.  And one of the most interesting contrasts, I think, is in how Armand had, in Marius, a maker who very much wanted him for a companion, and who took him under his wing and taught him and brought him up and educated him, who was genuinely guiding him to become a “man of the world”, so to speak, and was teaching him how indeed to be a vampire, how to live and endure as a vampire.  Lestat by contrast came very much from a background lacking in education, lacking in luxury or social learning, and was just thrown into his vamirism without any sort of guidance or love.  What’s so interesting about all of this, I think, is that Lestat, with all of that, ends up becoming the “gentleman death” that Armand likely felt he was meant to be.  Armand had all the opportunities, all the guidance, all the care which SHOULD have lead him down that path.  And yet, he ends up living a life of extreme deprivation and restriction and ignorance, while Lestat ends up living this sort of grand, social and abundant lifestyle, at least for a while.  A life lived among humanity.  Anyway, yeah, I just find this all really brilliantly done, the way Anne Rice really paralleled and contrasted these two. 

#The Vampire Armand #Armand #The Vampire Chronicles

[sinistergooseberries]

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue

Oof, so.

I read TGGTVAV (doesn't this look like a nucleotide sequence?) and I just thought I'd give my feedback.

I actually kind of stumbled upon this book by accident. I saw one (1) post about the second book in this series, which is about Felicty, the main character's younger sister. So I went on Goodreads, searched this series up and that's how I started reading it.

From the blurb, this book gave the impression of a sweet gay romance in the 1700s. And I was all for it! From what I heard, it had a great plot and likeable, cute characters and yeah, I was in the mood for some simple cute romance.

Well, I was wrong. It's really a marketing problem. The blurb mentions like everything that happens in like one sentence, that too quite vaguely, and the romance (which isn't a significant part of the book) is just made to look like a big deal. Well, we don't get much of the main characters' romance, we get something more like an adventure novel. And it is an adventure novel. Yeah, it's got the gay couple, but really, I suggest you read it for the plot than the characters.

The characters themselves - I did not find them to be dynamic. I see that this is an incredibly plot driven novel and less character driven - most of the times you just see them being put in situations. Character-wise, I did not see any difference in characters at the beginning and those very same characters at the end. Yeah, they make choices, but like, they kind of have to in that moment because they're usually in situation where they have no other choice to make. There was this one scene, where they run away from highwaymen and go to their father's bank to try to communicate with their father-appointed chaperone as well as to get a bit of money for themselves. The chaperone had also come to the bank before them and wrote a note to communicate. Monty, the main character, sees the note and decides not to tell his sister and friend/crush, about this little note. And that is pretty big, right? This little choice is never addressed again. I had expected it to be one of the conflicts in the story but it end up being nothing. We find a lot loose ends like this.

Also, Percy, the friend/crush. This guy is mixed race. He is part of the bourgeoisie - his aunt and uncle raise him. He also has epilepsy. I liked the character. His character deals with some of the big things at the time - like epilepsy and being mixed race in a white society. However, the boy just does not stand up for himself. He and MOnty had been friends since they were kids. You'd expect Monty to have some perspective when it comes to race, but he turns out just as insensitive and racist as his fellow whitey-tighteys. They are at a party, Monty messes up, he is angry at himself and so are Felicity and Percy because of what he'd done (he's tried to fuck a French woman in the Palace of Versailles). WHen they confront him about it, first, he calls the woman a whore and literally tells Percy to go serve the drinks (in a place where black slaves were serving the drinks. which means?). This guy, for all the nuanced people around him, he never, ever, looks at them without his self-loathing-tinted glasses.

Throughout the novel, we see him being a huge dickhead and not get any shit for it apart from a few words. I found that annoying. And boring because this happens several time throughout the novel. And again, never gets addressed.

I kind of bored with the romance too cause once again, you get those high tension moments several times until it becomes boring.

I liked the imagery in the novel though. You know Mackenzi Lee enjoyed writing her little similes and metaphors. You know she is a good writer from that alone.

But, this was what I felt when I read the book. And also, I was really really expecting a cute romance, so maybe I wasn't in the right mood to read this adventure novel.

And I also heard this was Lee's debut book, so I'll cut some slack for it.

I give it 3 stars.

#tggtvav #monty #percy #felicity #henry montague #felicity montague #percy newton #book review thing

[gretel-moonlit]

Me looking at the new sneeze guards we put up at work: cringe glass covering our fail customers

#it was literally my first thought upon seeing them oof #Starbucks

[misty-purple-haze]

BURNING BRIDGES

Taglist: @dabiscrustyfeet , @cupsof-tea , @t-misaki , @mammonsthings , @iminlovewithanidiot , @crystalmystery , @tjjjrsj , @mello-bee , @panda-duuu , @swan-chan (sorry if I left out some people!!)

TW: none that I see (if there’s some please tell me!!)

PART1 PART2 PART3

BONUS PART

It had been 3 years since you had left the brothers and you couldn’t be doing any better. You felt… free. You did not feel controlled anymore and were free to state your opinions without getting mocked at all the time. It felt good you know? You had also been talking a lot with Alya and you did admit you had a crush on them. I mean why wouldn’t you? They were the only one who stood by you when everyone abandoned you, helped you maintain your confidence and was there for you when you needed to vent out your frustrations. They were the shoulder you leaned on when you needed to cry or let your thoughts out. You didn’t want to step into Devildom. You would never. You didn’t want to see their faces again. Guess god had other plans for you cause you were invited to come to the Devildom by Alya themselves and how could you refuse? You had something to get off your chest and they were the only one you could trust. It happened a month ago.

ONE MONTH AGO:

You were talking with Alya when suddenly “hey Mc?” “Hmm?” “Can you come to the Devildom for a short while?” “Alya-“ “I understand Mc but as much as I hate these demons and the angels too, it’s kinda sad and pitiful watching them literally stumble over at the mention of your name. Plus they look horrible you know, not even Asmodeus takes care of himself and these guys are my housemates you know?” “I don’t know-“ “plus I want to tell you something… not over call but face to face….” You pondered over this and finally agreed with a sigh and hung up the phone and went to sleep without thinking much about the condition of those you left behind. You had to pack up for your trip back to hell after all.

CURRENTLY:

You packed your bag and headed for the location you were called to. According to Alya, Diavolo immediately agreed before they could get a word in as he was that eager to see you again. Your skin crawled at the thought of meeting him again. You didn’t want to meet him. To meet them. You reached the location and stepped on the pentagram and you were immediately teleported to the Devildom. You felt uncomfortable, being here again. Guess those memories you tried so hard to forget never left you huh.. you shook your head and looked for Alya. “MC! OVER HERE!” You turned around and saw Alya running towards you and before you could say something you were immediately tackled by an exited Alya. You laughed and hugged them back. It was then you noticed Diavolo and his butler walking behind Alya with hopeful smiles on their faces. You looked at them and gave a tight smile while nodding at them. You noticed how their faces lit up when they saw you acknowledging them. You got up with Alya still clinging on to you and completely ignored what the royals had to say to you, breaking their heart once more. Alya then excitedly dragged you to the House of Lamentation while telling you everything that had happened when you had left. Upon entering the house it felt desolate. Devoid of life. Like no one ever existed and it was abandoned for a long period of time. “This is how they all have been living ever since you left you know. They don’t even know you were supposed to come here…” Alya trailed off holding your hand even tighter. You merely stared at the house’s condition. The worn off portraits, walls, dusty furniture… was this how they had been living for the past three years? Oof. It was the opening of the door that diverted you from your thoughts. “It’s Lucifer.” “He has become unapproachable ever since you left. This is the first time I’ve seen him come out of his study when I’m out of my room. Out of all these rooms, your room is the neatest you know. According to Lucifer, if anyone even dared to mess up or touch anything in your room they would be punished terribly.“ You then noticed Lucifer coming out of his room, possibly to scold Alya for being too loud. That’s when you saw him. Oh he looked horrible. His cheeks sunken, pale skin, eye bags and dark circles, probably from working too hard. It was then he noticed you too. He stopped where he was and stared at you. It couldn’t be… “Mc?” You immediately dragged Alya to your room as fast as you could with Lucifer following and calling out to you. Too bad he was faster than you. “Alya, go to my room. I’ll see you there once I handle him okay?” Alya nodded “take all the time you need Mc. You will be here for a month after all.” and went to your room. “Mc?” He called again and you turned to look at him. “Lucifer…” it felt wierdly comforting yet sad at the same time. He really did look horrible. You opened your arms and smiled at him . He didn’t even hesitate. He ran into your arms forgetting all his pride. “It’s been a long time eh?” You joked trying to reduce the sadness in the air. He didn’t reply. He just stood there hugging you like you would slip from his fingers any moment. “You look horrible. You know that right?” You joked again but this time he gave you a chuckle “Ah we all really missed you Mc.. and I’m aware I look horrible. Look at the effect your absence has on me dear” he replied back. It was then Mammon “What’s the commotion out here-“ and that’s when he saw Lucifer hugging you. He stared again. No. This couldn’t be you right? You hated them… how… you then turned and looked at him. “Hey Mammon, long time no see” you smiled at him. That’s all it took for him to lose all self control he had in him. He ran towards you and grabbed you from Lucifer’s arms. “I missed you” that was all he said before hugging you tightly. “Of course you did. Have you been taking care of yourself lately?” He nodded “ I’ve also been saving my money, just like you wanted me to Mc. Are you proud of me?” You nodded and smiled at him. It was then Leviathan, then Satan, then Asmodeus, then the twins.

It took a lot of coaxing but they finally let you go to your room where you found Alya waiting for you patiently. “How’d it go?” “It went well.” “So you forgive them?” “How else will I ever move on Alya. It’s not for them. It’s for me to move on and put this behind.” They hugged you and you leaned into them. “I missed the times we used to cuddle…” “well I’m here now.” Alya kissed your forehead which made you blush. It was then Alya called you “Mc?” “Hmm?” You looked up at them only for them to kiss you which you gladly reciprocated. “This is what you called me for?” “Yea…” “I love you Mc.. ever since I saw you. I wanted to let my feelings out with you beside me so that I could hold you and tell you what you really mean to me. I understand if you don’t feel the same way but-“ you cut them off with another kiss “honestly you are an idiot Alya. I love you too..” “it’s time for dinner~” Asmodeus interrupted you two only to find your faces flushed and red from the kisses you both shared earlier. “Oh my~ seems like I interrupted something~” he teased. You both blushed which caused him to laugh. The brothers found out about your relationship. Of course they were sad but seeing you happy was more than enough for them to move on. You forgave Diavolo , Barbatos, the angels, and the sorcerer too. How long could you stay mad at them anyways? You needed to move on from this and so did they needed to move on from this too. The one month you fixed all the misunderstandings you had to, forgave everyone and most importantly enjoyed yourself in the Devildom. Of course on the day of your departure everyone were teary eyed but you assured them you would visit whenever you had time. You had to, else who would be with your partner Alya after all? For the first time you finally felt peace in a long time. You felt as if all the burden you had was gone. Maybe this was for the best. After all, if you have to move on towards the future, you would have to let go of the past. You moved in with your life with Alya by your side and so did the others, but this time they really did change themselves for the better. You were glad, maybe this whole situation happened for a reason, you all may have clashed before but now, things were better than it could ever be, the future seemed bright for all of you and that’s what kept you all going. Life would be good from now on. You were sure of that. Everything would be all right from now on.

THE END

#replaced mc au #obey me replaced mc au #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #Satan #asmodeus #beezlebub #belphegor #diavolo #barbatos #Simeon #luke #Solomon #obey me x mc #obey me angst

[thepringlesofblood]

relistening to network effect and

y’all...we were so focused on murderbot is autistic...that we totally missed arada is autistic

discussion below (network effect spoilers obviously)

it’s mostly me re-listening to her discussions with leonide.

bc we’re seeing through mb’s eyes, the proposal to come over to the BE ship is just never viable, as agreed upon by literally everyone. whereas with arada, the conversation doesn’t really include the whole peanut gallery we get through mb’s POV - ART jumps in to help her out, but I got the impression that the rest of them aren’t directly in her feed so as not to distract her, so her decision-making is based off of her own internal logic, with ART making comments/giving advice

(I tried to put “Clippy” and “Perihelion” together to make a good pun but there’s just no good combination)

anyway, choosing the logistically best option for a transfer of resources bc you forgot capitalism existed? big mood.

plus all the stuff where’s she’s going over to the BE ship and mb is all sympathetic to her worrying about “dominance posturing” and doing all the right social things?

god i wish i had ART in my ear to help me out when i miss something and don’t know what to say. not at other times though can you imagine?

i don’t know why this strikes me as sort of an autistic thing, but like..her friends all know that she’ll have trouble being less than her full self on the BE ship - overse talks to her about treating mb like a secunit, they all help her out, partially bc they all know on some level that this isn’t one of her skill sets.

and honestly this is one of my favorite underrated things about network effect - arada’s command style is never looked down on or thought to be lesser bc of her generally kind personality and “terminal optimism.”

like, we get to see her learn and grow as a survey lead/commander, but it’s clear from the first scene that arada is incredibly capable, and that she’s excellent at doing her job.

 it’s just that later her job becomes very, very different and much harder, but she adjusts admirably, and i appreciate that while mb has a Few Things To Say whenever she or amena or anyone say something naive, they’re never thought as less intelligent or anything, just less knowledgeable.

when overse comes in earlier and is like hey mb thanks for having my wife’s back out there I really appreciate you support her since this is her first time as survey lead i know EXACTLY what she’s saying.

she’s saying that arada isn’t the kind of person you normally see at the command of things, and she appreciates mb accepting her authority and treating her like a leader.

meanwhile mb is like ‘tf else was i supposed to do?’ i love it so much

there’s def also a gender approach to this - in media, autistic men get to be supergeniuses and autistic women just. don’t exist a lot. I really love that arada is allowed to exist and be her full self and be powerful and flawed and neurodivergent.

when they’re over on the other ship, and arada has that line “Well, it was a little rude.” OOF i love it so much. kevin r free does an excellent reading. it feels like her taking back control of the situation by asserting her identity and i love it,

she’s also often described as ‘bouncing in place’ when she gets excited/impatient (in the hopper above the unmapped area in ASR, when she sees mb again and bounces in place instead of hugging it, etc.) - that’s a big ol stim of mine!

as always, we have the ‘is this me projecting onto a character, or do i just need to go to sleep?’ disclaimer, but I feel like there’s some legs here.

#murderbot #murderbot spoilers #murderbot meta #network effect #network effect spoilers #meta #arada #i love her so much #my Opinions

[aquanova99]

Too Little Too Late (Demetri x Reader)

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

Summary: Demetri and his mate don’t seem to get along very well. Will a miscommunication change everything or make it worse?

A/N: oof this one hurt to write. There’s some angst going on in here so you know, be warned. May have cried just a bit writing this.

A/N: @alecvolturiswifeforever only tagging you because of your post earlier lol

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥

°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

Y/N

“Gods you’re infuriating!”

“I didn’t do anything! You said I wasn’t a prisoner right? All I did was explore the rest of the castle!”

“On tour day!!”

“Well I didn’t know it was feeding day!” You turned around and sat on the bed.

“I told you the feeding schedule when you got here.”

“Oh the day you guys forced me to move in here. My bad for forgetting the ridiculous amount of information that was thrown at me. I’m not the only one at fault here, Demetri.”

“You would think that a human would remember the information that helps them stay alive.”

“Oh shut up. I’m only here because pixie girl ‘saw’ I was your mate. Aro traded that other girls life for mine. I had no choice in being here.”

“Like it’s so easy for me to be mated to you! You should be thankful someone hasn’t eaten you yet.”

“God if only! Then we’d both be done being miserable.” That was too far. You saw hurt flash through his eyes for just a second. You couldn’t deny that you had feelings for Demetri, but his initial reaction upon meeting you made it clear he had no interest being mated with a human. You were too prideful to try and change his mind. Now the two of you spent most of your days arguing.

Demetri sighed. “Stay out of trouble until you’re changed. Then if you want to you can leave for all I care.”

“Fine.” You threw the bed covers over your head. You hated that you couldn’t seem to talk to Demetri without snapping at him. All you were doing was pushing him farther away. You also couldn’t stop, you saw how little he wanted to do with you when you talked with Heidi or Felix. You hoped pushing him away would make it easier on you when he eventually kicked you out. You knew it wouldn’t but you could still hope. You felt tears begin to fall from your eyes, at least he wasn’t able to see you. Why would he want to deal with that?

Soon after you heard the click of your door. Of course he left, you thought. Why wouldn’t he?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Demetri

“I’m guessing your talk didn’t go well?”

“I don’t know what to do Fe.” You sat on the seat across from him and threw your head back. “She seems to get along with everyone in this god forsaken castle except me.”

“I don’t know D. I think she likes but she thinks you don’t like her.”

“That’s ridiculous. She literally said if she was gone we’d both be done being miserable.”

“Yeah she thinks you hate that youre mates with her.”

“How do you know?”

“Heidi told me.”

“What?” Your head shot up. “What did she tell Heidi?”

“You could ask her? Y/n not heidi.”

“Why, so she can accuse of trying to get you guys to tell me her secrets? I just don’t know what I did.”

Felix hesitated. “Fe. What do you know?”

“Dude, it’s really not my place.”

“Come on, Fe. Please I need this to work. I love her so much it kills me and I can’t even be in the same room with her without us tearing each others heads off.”

Felix ran his hand through his hair, “Ugh alright. Fine. Look all I know is that when you first met her she got the impression you were disappointed she was human. So everytime you tell her she did something she just kinda assumes you’re annoyed because she isn’t one of us. That’s all I can tell you. I don’t want to get on her bad side. Or heidis.”

You admitted that your initial reaction was not your best moment. You didn’t mean anything bad by it, but you’d been so surprised you’d had a mate when you found out she was a human all you could do was say ‘seriously? A human?’ You had been worried she could have been in danger since she hadn’t been changed now you knew that she just thought you were disgusted she was a human. Fuck.

“Can I even do anything to change her mind?”

“I don’t know D. You should really ask her.”

Oh my god. You had left her in the room crying. God you were the worst. No wonder she thought you hated her. What if she hates you? You rushed back to your room.

You opened the door slowly. She was still in bed but the covers were off now. She was just staring at the ceiling, her eyes puffy from crying. You didn’t say anything. You admitted you weren’t as smooth as you usually were with your words. You got too tongue tied when you saw y/n. And if you did open your mouth nothing you said was ever pretty.

You just stood there for a minute. Waiting for her to acknowledge you even a little. Just to let you know she was ready to talk. As if on cue she sighed and sat up.

She brought her knees to her chest and seemingly braced herself for whatever you had to say. You sat on the other edge of the bed. Y/n tried not to move, she just waited for you to speak. What could you say? You mind went blank again.

“I’m not miserable, you know?”

“W-wait what?”

“I’m not miserable with you.” You left before any more word vomit escaped your mouth.

Y/n didn’t move, too confused to do anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N

Okay…

What just happened? Did Demetri really come back in here to tell me that? You threw yourself back on the bed. You’d heard plenty of times from Heidi that he didn’t hate you. But you two argued so much you never believed her.

The next couple of weeks seemed to drag on. You didn’t dare ask him what he meant. You couldn’t get your hopes up now. Not when you were so close to being changed. You did try and be more civil. The two of you exchanged hellos like strangers but it was better than arguing.

You, Felix and Heidi were talking about all of the rules you’d have to follow when you were turned. Demetri had walked in near the end, you thought it was best to excuse yourself.

“You don’t have to leave y/n, you were speaking to them first. If you’re uncomfortable I can leave.”

“No! I mean no it’s just— I just thought you’d be more comfortable with out me.”

Demetri rolled his eyes “cara you don’t make me uncomfortable.” He turned to Felix, “what were you guys talking about?” You felt the heat rush to your cheeks. You tried to calm yourself down.

“We were just telling y/n what to expect when she’s turned. She keeps acting like she isn’t going to stay here.” Felix elbowed you.

“Are you going to stay here?” Demetri asked. You wanted to tell him it depends on if he wants you here but the words didn’t come.

“I—I don’t know.”

“Oh this is ridiculous. Y/n still doesn’t think you like her Dem.” Heidi rolled her eyes.

Nope. You turned to leave,

“Y/n wait.” You heard Demetri but you did not want, nor were you ready to talk about that yet. The twins came in as you were about to cross the door.

“Emergency trial. Now.” Jane said. Felix sighed and got up first he ruffled your hair and rushed down with the twins. Heidi pushed Demetri before she left too. Demetri came up next you.

“I do like you y/n. I never said I didn’t.” You weren’t sure you heard him right. You decided to talk to him after the trial. This one took longer than normal. You were sketching in your journal, like you normally did when you were bored. Demetri all but slammed the door when he came back. That couldn’t be good. You knew when a trial affected him. You debated asking him about it. You never felt like it was your place. Fuck it. You took a deep breath.

“Do you need to vent or do you need comfort?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Demetri

“I’m—I’m sorry?”

“The trial. It was bad right?”

“How….”

“When you have a bad day you always do the thing.”

You shook your head, “what thing?”

“You try and compose yourself. So you always lean on your desk and take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. Then you usually grab a book and sit in the seat over there.” Not like he ever read anything when he was in a mood but she decided not to incriminate herself any further on just how much she’d been watching him.

You couldn’t move. The fact that she had paid attention to that made your heart ache. You knew there were days you still took out you anger on her and she hadn’t responded. Now you knew why. Had you paid attention to her in the same way? She broke your train of thought.

“What was the trial about?”

“An immortal child. It’s the only time we have emergency trials like that. Or we get sent out.”

“Do you mind me asking what that is? You don’t have to answer.”

“I’m sure you can guess. A vampire turns a small child, usually toddlers. Children that can’t control their emotions. They are dangerous. Can wipe out while towns during their tantrums. We have no choice but to get rid of them.”

“That was one of the rules felix was telling me about. So someone steals a baby and makes them go through the change which from I’ve heard is the most painful thing in the world, and then what? Just hope they don’t get caught?”

“Yes.”

“That sucks that you guys have to do deal with that. Those poor babies.”

“You have no idea.” You thought about this last one just crying for their human mother that was no where to be found. You hated those trials. The only ones who could handle them were usually the twins. Even then. The cries haunted you everytime.

“Would you like to lie down?” You looked at her, she seemed genuinely concerned about how you were doing. “I won’t ask anymore but you rest your head. I know you can’t sleep but maybe it will help?”

It was worth a shot. You pulled a pillow out and laid on your stomach. You noticed her out away a book.

“What’s that?”

“Oh it’s nothing.” You heard heartbeat begin to quicken.

“Well that’s not fair you know something about me.”

She sighed. “It’s just a sketchbook. I just like to doodle when I’m here by myself.”

You knew she wasn’t ready to show you them yet, and you didn’t want to push her away after you were finally speaking. “I hope I can see them one day.”

She smiled at you, god how had you never taken the time to see how beautiful she was. You were an idiot for being so stubborn with her.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little better, I try not to think about things that bother me.”

“Does that include me?” Her voice got soft, as if she was afraid to ask the question. It broke your heart. What had you been doing? You sat up, You couldn’t help it You cupped the sides of her face

“Y/n I need you to understand that you aren’t a bother. I know we argue a lot but you’ve never actually bothered me. I haven’t been good about expressing that I just worry.” You let her go, she seemed to contemplate your words. She surprised you she she leaned into you, you wrapped your arms around her. You didn’t want it to end, you wished you could have stayed like that forever. She pulled away too soon.

“I think you were the one who was having a bad day. Do you want to lay down with me?”

Yes. Desperately. “Okay.” She nodded and began to get comfortable, you ended up resting your head on her chest. You heard heart start racing again, you just hoped it was a positive reaction instead of a negative one. We’re you moving too fast? Before you could worry about any more she wrapped one arm around you, and with the other she began running her hand through your hair. If you could fall asleep it would have been then. All of your worries began disappearing, there were no more fights, no trials, just you and y/n. She fell asleep after awhile, you got up to look at your mate. Really look at her.

She was breathtaking really. You pushed a strand of hair out of her face. Your thought were interrupted by knocking. You moved as silently as possible. You saw Felix on the other side.

“What is it Fe.”

“There’s a newborn army in Seattle. We have to leave in a few hours.”

Fuck. Of course you did.

“Alright. I’ll be ready soon.” Felix nodded and left to his room. You debated waking y/n but you didn’t want there to be any miscommunication this time. You gently shook her awake.

“Mmm what’s wrong?” She asked as she rubbed her eyes

“I’m sorry mia cara, I just wanted to let you know I have to go on a mission soon.

“Well that’s annoying. We were finally getting somewhere.”

“Hopefully I won’t be gone too long. We have a lot to catch up on.”

She smiled at that, “okay, well. Be careful, okay?”

You chuckled, “not much I have to worry about. I’ll miss you.”

She scoffed, “yeah right.”

“I mean it. I wish we had been able to talk before this.”

“Me too. Do you need help packing?”

“No we all have a ready-to-go bag. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left.”

“I don’t like goodbyes. I’ll see you soon. Just come back in one piece.” She kissed your cheek. No fair.

“Is that all I get?”

“Come back quick and maybe you get a real kiss.”

“Very well. I’ll see you soon.” You kissed her cheek as well and hoped this mission would go quickly.

———————————————

Almost three weeks you were gone. You couldn’t believe Caius had told Jane to wait a little bit before they acted on the newborns. Well, you could. But why this mission. You wanted to start over with y/n, actually get to know your mate.

There was a pit in the bottom of your stomach. We’d been gone too long. The four of you went to debrief the kings first. The kings and Heidi were in their study. Weird. They’re usually in the throne room.

“Masters.” Jane said, “the newborns were taken care of. However….”

“Just a second Jane.” Marcus interrupted, “Demetri we need to talk to you before anything.”

The sinking feeling in your stomach grew. “What happened?”

“It’s y/n.” Caius took over, which meant no good news. Aro and Marcus didn’t want to say what had happened “she was in the gardens. One of lower guard lost control.”

The room began spinning. Felix growled, “what exactly happened?”

“The guard attacked her, Heidi heard her but she didn’t get there in time. The venom wasn’t enough.” Heidi began sobbing in the back, “she’s gone Demetri, we’re so sorry.”

They were lying. It had to be a cruel joke. You rushed to your room. Praying to whatever god was listening that they were wrong. You let out a half scream, half cry. You collapsed to the floor, Felix and Heidi came in.

“Where. Is. She.” You didn’t need oxygen but you felt like you couldn’t breath. Like Jain was using her gift on you, it was suffocating.

“Her body is still here, it happened 4 days ago. We were hoping the venom would kick in. I’m so sorry Demetri.” Heidi got to the floor with you and wrapped her arms around you. You let the sobs you were holding escape. You felt Felix kneel down next you and put his hand on your back.

Suddenly your sadness turned to anger. “Who did this?”

“I don’t even know his name. But he’s being held in the lower floors. Caius said it was only fair you punished him as you saw fit.” You headed downstairs you’d never felt a rage like you felt now. The guard was completely unrecognizable when you were finished. You asked another guard to handle clean up you could care less to see him burn.

“Demetri, we don’t have much longer. Do you want to see her one more time?” Heidi asked.

You were so numb at this point, you just wanted your y/n back. Still, you nodded. If you didn’t know she was gone you would have thought she was sleeping again. It took everything to not fall to the ground again, you half hoped you’d hear a faint heartbeat, something. But she was cold. You saw where Heidi had tried to save her, you also saw the venom wasn’t able to save her. You wracked cries you held her close to you. No one dared moving you. Felix and Heidi never left your side. Felix literally had to pry you from y/ns body. You weren’t sure what you were screaming but Felix didn’t care he just took you to your room.

“I wasn’t able to save her, but she told me to tell you that you were a good mate Dem.”

“Yeah some mate I was. I literally did nothing but fight with her. We had one good day. One.”

“You should check her nightstand.”

“What?”

“Her journal. You should look at it.” Heidi left you alone after that, her and Felix both stayed outside the door. Just in case you went crazy I guess. You eventually got the strength to listen to Heidis advice. You wish you hadn’t. It hadn’t just been a sketchbook, apparently y/n out everything in there. There were pictures of the You Heidi and Felix laughing. Some pictures just of you. The sketches were amazing. Except they were all of you, your hands, the expression she talked about when you finished a trial. She wrote down how much she cared for you, and how much she thought you hadn’t cared. It broke you. The last few pages were quick hopes she wrote of what could happen when you finally got back. There were no pictures of her. She would never know how much you cared about her. You had this piece of her and yet nothing to remember her by, just how she saw everyone else. It made you want to throw up.

You needed to go see corin.

Taglist: @adaydreamaway08 @artaxerxesthegreat @avyannadawn @lacychick @minghao3o @volturiwolf

#twilight #breaking dawn #eclipse #new moon #twilight renaissance #twilight saga #twilightedit #felix volturi #the volturi #volturi supremacy #the twilight series #the twilight saga #volturi #the volturi coven #volturi coven #volturi guard #demetri volturi imagine #demetri volturi #demetri volturi x reader #demetri volturi x you #demetri volturi x y/n #demetri imagine #demetri x reader #demetri x you #demetri x y/n #heidi volturi #alec volturi #jane volturi

[witchling-valkyrie]

Alright friends, lemme hit you with some Chenford thoughts on 4x08

I’m seeing a lot of hate about this episode. On the surface, I can completely understand why people are upset. But looking deeper into the meaning of what happened in last night’s episode, I can see a lot of trauma responses and potential build up for the Chenford future.

So, here are my thoughts from a writer, actor, & trauma survivor POV. 

The Rookie has taken upon itself to tackle a lot of hard issues that are not warm and fuzzy since early in season 1. We knew that Tim had an abusive past, and I did not expect Genny’s visit to be old stories about his childhood and overall goofing with Chen. That’s just not realistic, in my opinion. Would it have been lovely? Absolutely! But I wasn’t holding out for that. 

When you’re in an intense emotional conversation -- especially one that you did not necessarily choose to have, in a high-stress situation that you are not emotionally prepared for -- words and thoughts WILL slip out without you thinking about them. Trauma often brings out emotions and past versions of ourselves that we cannot control in the moment. 

So. Some examples of this: 

1) When Tim let it slip that he’s seeing someone. He was addressing his sister in a high-stress situation. If you have siblings, especially ones that you have a tense history with, it’s common to immediately snap back at them to prove them wrong. Like Tim snapping to tell Genny that he’s not single when she accuses him of still being single due to his trauma. (And yes, it was a cheap shot. But like...siblings make cheap shots.)

Eric Winter is notoriously good at giving us subtle hints of how Tim feels in his facial expressions. When you watch this scene closely, you can clearly see on Tim’s face after Lucy’s reaction that he realizes he hurt her, and that he regrets saying it that way.  Because that is NOT how he wanted her to find out. They’re friends (& more than that, let’s be real), and he had no intention of telling her that way. What I see the writer’s potentially doing here is setting up an emotional moment where the dams break completely for Tim and Lucy, where they really just need to talk about EVERYTHING. The almost kiss. Tim dating someone else. Their feelings for each other. Literally get it all out there. Which is gonna lead to some of that sweet, sweet tension we love. We shall see. But my point is, Tim was snapping back at his sister in an emotional moment and accidentally hurt Lucy. That makes perfect sense to me, emotionally. 

*Also I’m sorry, when you first start dating someone, do you immediately tell your siblings & your friends? I usually don’t until I’m sure about a person, but maybe I’m just weird? This is what I figured when it came to Tim not telling people he’s dating Ashley. Or maybe he doesn’t like her that much--or both, it’s NEW. Also in general, Tim is canonically a very private person, so do with that what you will. * 

2) Genny came to Tim at the only time she knew she could actually get him to talk to her about something really, really important. Tim also notoriously avoids strong emotions at all costs, because the poor baby has been through so much. He was ignoring Genny’s texts and calls (which YES, those are his boundaries, and are 100% valid due to the trauma he’s suffered don’t get me wrong), so at work was the only way Genny knew how to reach him. From Genny’s POV, she really needs her brother’s help. Being the only person handling a dying parent is hard enough--but add on the trauma? Oof. You’re probably gonna beg someone for help, even if you know it won’t be easy for the other person to help you either. 

Genny also wants Tim to heal from trauma the way that she has (or is in the midst of). And perhaps she is going about it the wrong way (can’t help someone who doesn’t wanna be helped, amiright?) but when you’ve been through an intense trauma like that, and you see someone you love in pain, are you really gonna stand by and not try to help that person at least a little? You don’t always know “the right way” to go about it. You just do what you think is best at the moment. Maybe that ends up being the wrong thing, but you do the best you can. 

Genny clearly cares about her brother and wants him to heal. We don’t know enough about her to really go in depth into her thoughts, but her coming to Tim at work is not some flippant “hey get over your trauma bro and help dad” thing. Phrases like “stop being so emotional” or “get over it” are typically used in those situations, trust me. 

3) When you see someone you love in pain, it’s only natural to want to see them smile. To see them breathe easier and calm down. Knowing that Tim has family trauma and is clearly uncomfortable with this situation, Lucy tries to lighten the mood with fun conversation here and there. When she realizes that that isn’t working, she stops. Genny kept twisting Lucy’s well-intentioned conversations into ways to get Tim to talk to her, and that’s not Lucy’s fault. When she realizes that this conversation is happening and there is nothing she can do about it, the best she can do is try and be there for Tim in that situation (and y’all know Tim is not a person who likes to let people help him in any way). 

4) Okay. The Tim Test comment. Lemme first ask you this: have you ever had one of those moments where something you’ve never quite understood FINALLY makes sense? 

Lucy is a psychology graduate with two psychiatrist (or psychologist? Can’t remember) parents. I promise she’s been unintentionally (or probably intentionally, too, sometimes) analyzing Tim’s behavior to figure out why he is the way he is. Tim Tests show a really specific behavior of Tim’s that are not in line with the kindness and caring he shows on a regular basis. So of course, Lucy, this little cinnamon roll who is totally in love with this broody but incredibly caring guy who literally dug her out of the ground with his bare hands, is gonna have an ah ha! moment when she realizes why Tim Tests exist. 

You can physically see the moment Lucy realizes she said that aloud. She winces a little, and immediately dismisses the subject before Genny can pry further. Because she knows exactly how Tim is going to take what she just said, even though it is 100% not how she meant it to come out. She totally meant to keep that realization to herself, but words slip out in intense situation and with ah ha! moments, unfortunately. 

~

Now beyond the highly-emotional shop ride, I wanna bring up the differences in emotions and facial expressions when Lucy talks to Tim back at the station.

Lucy openly addresses that she knows she’s crossing a line & to please hear her out -- which first of all, if a huge improvement from when she followed Tim in season 1 to tell him he’d regret helping Isabel. Different situation, sure, but she is clearly stating now that “hey, I know this is crossing a line here and I’m giving you a chance to shut me down before I go on.” 

But of course Tim doesn’t shut her down, because he values her opinion and cares about what she has to say. The tension immediately deflates from his face because he trusts her. He wants to hear what she has to say, because he knows her opinion matters to him. 

Now that emotions are no longer high, Lucy can clearly articulate what she feels about the situation and her advice based on her years of psychological study, and how well she knows Tim. And with emotions no longer high, Tim is willing to listen and let his genuine logic and caring take over instead of his emotions reacting to trauma.  Which is HUGE because Tim, again, is a very “I take care of other people, people don’t take care of me” type of person, because that’s all he’s ever known (Dad. Sister. Isabel. Everyone). So him actually standing there and listening to Lucy’s thoughts and opinion (and uhm, actually taking that advice) is huge to me. 

And then he watches her walk away with hearts in his eyes because he’s like “hahaha how does my wife know me better than I know myself what the fuuuuck.” Genny totally notices that and I want her to bring them up in the next episode so bad. 

~

SO that’s my two sense on this episode. If you disagree, that’s fine! I don’t want to argue with anyone about any of this, but I’m def open to conversations about it. Hope this was helpful to some people though!! 

#chenford #the rookie spoilers #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford #genny bradford #the rookie 4x08

[bffsoobin]

amortentia

↳year six potions class was never particularly exciting to you- as a Slytherin with much more interest in Transfiguration- but alas, it’s required to graduate. You thought the class couldn’t be any more of an inconvenience, but upon being paired with infamous Gryffindor Beomgyu, you find yourself proven wrong.

➤ gryffindor!beomgyu xslytherin!reader, harry potter!au, enemies to lovers, a little slow burn, fluff

Word Count: ~11k

Requested?: kinda? anon requested a Beomgyu oneshot with no specifics and I spit this out of some depraved, Harry Potter obsessed corner of my mind.

Warnings: mentions of drinking, usual e2l arguments, swearing, usual Gryffindor-Slytherin insults and tension 

A/N: I hope the anon who asked for a Beomgyu oneshot is happy with this!! I finally felt like I had enough time to write a proper hogwarts au so here it is! Also I purposely avoided using any professor names that are clearly linked with the actual Harry Potter series purely because of timeline continuity! Bonus points if you can guess who Georgiana is related to before I point it out :) ALSO this is so long and I feel so rusty so I hope it’s okay lmao

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•

The sound of your quill scratching against parchment filled your quiet corner of the common room, allowing you a feeling of solidarity and peace you’d been craving since you arrived back to the castle a few days ago. Of course you’d been excited to be back, sharing the meal in the Great Hall with all of your friends happily as you watched the wide-eyed first years get sorted into their houses. It was hard to believe that 6 years ago that had been you waiting to find your place within the walls of Hogwarts. 

As always, the buzz of the beginning of a new year wore on your nerves. Despite your love for your friends, their energy was- in your opinion- completely draining. You much preferred the moments of quiet serenity that the stone laden dungeon common room afforded you. The last few embers of a fire lit hours before winked at you from across the room, tempting you to raise your wand and reignite them. After a moment you decided against the movement, as you were presumably the only one awake at this hour and the light of the cedar scented candle you’d brought down with you from your suitcase provided enough light for you anyway. 

The scratch of your quill stilled as you flipped to the next page, careful not to accidentally bend the corners of the book you’d just purchased. Several detailed diagrams detailed the process of transfiguring plants to inanimate objects to animals then back to plants and you felt your heart swell with excitement. Transfiguration was hands down your favorite subject, and you’d been craving to learn this process in particular since it had been mentioned offhandedly in class last year. You scrambled to pick up your quill, happy that you’d splurged for the instantly refilling model as ink flowed flawlessly against the parchment. 

A sudden crash from the entrance of the common room popped your comfortable bubble of silence harshly as you clambered for your wand. 

“Who’s there?” You yelled, annoyance and surprise mixing to raise your voice considerably. For a moment you heard nothing as you advanced closer to the door, keeping the three wide stone steps between you and who- or what- ever was behind the door. The door shook a few times before finally flying open, revealing three very normal looking boys stumbling through the threshold. They were all hanging on one another, stumbling over their feet as they pushed into the common room. You recognized the one in the middle instantly as Choi Yeonjun, fellow Slytherin and current Head Boy of the house. He was a year older than you but you knew him well for his infectious laughter and notoriously good grades despite never studying. His cheeks were flushed and his feet unsteady, but he held a charming grin through it all. The identity of whoever was supporting him on the left was a mystery to you, but the boy supporting him from the right sent alarm bells off in your head. 

“Beomgyu?” Your voice left you before you could rein yourself in, and you would have cringed had it not been for the hatred brewing under your skin. Here he was, the one person you tried to forget existed every single summer. And he had been part of the ruckus that pulled you from your reading. He didn’t say anything as the three boys stumbled past you, dumping Yeonjun onto one of the soft black leather sofas. 

“Hello?” You felt like you were in some kind of time warp, somehow totally invisible to the three of them as they sorted themselves out; Beomgyu and the other boy straightening out their clothing and Yeonjun lolling his head back on the cushions with a content sigh. 

“Oh, hey Y/N.” Beomgyu finally drawled, sticking his hands in the front pockets of his trousers. He was still wearing his robes, layered over a sensible gray wool sweater and black uniform slacks. His striped red and gold tie hung off of his neck slightly, obviously having been loosened at some point in the night. He donned the same Head Boy pin Yeonjun did, but in the same colorway as his robes and tie. Loud, obnoxious, attention seeking red and gold.

“Hey? How about instead of “hey” you tell me why the hell you’re barging into my common room at some ungodly hour of the night! Don’t you have somewhere else to be, Head Boy?” The unidentified boy behind him froze as his eyes widened, apparently feeling the sting of your icy words much more than Beomgyu. He just lifted a lazy eyebrow, guiding his annoyingly confident gaze over your body. Fucking Gryffindors and their confidence. It was suffocating. 

“Well you see, Y/N. Yeonjun here can’t handle his fire whiskey for shit, and we were all just having a little start of the year party in the Room of Requirement. So me and my friend here,” he motioned vaguely to the cowering boy behind him- who you now noticed looked like he had just entered his fourth year- “decided to be so kind as to bring him back.” 

You said nothing for a moment; simply simmering in your hatred for him until he spoke again. 

“By the way, what are you even doing up so late? You’re not a prefect...so shouldn’t you be up in bed like the rest of your little friends? What’s so secretive that you have to be up in the middle of the night for it? Are you doing something...evil?” He leaned forward, closing the gap between the two of you and bringing his mouth level with your ear. You cringed at the closeness, clenching your hands into fists until the crescents of your nails indented your skin. His voice had lowered like he was telling a secret, as if Gryffindors even had the capacity for maintaining privacy. “Are you being naughty?” 

You huffed indignantly, finally finding the strength to shove his shoulder away harshly. The skin of your cheeks was certainly flamed, but you hoped he would chalk it up to annoyance and not the intoxicating scent of his woody cologne.  

“If you must know, I was up studying Transfiguration. I was trying to enjoy some piece and quiet until you came busting in.”

Beomgyu stepped around you and made his way for the table you’d previously been sitting at. To your delight he refrained from touching anything, but he stared at the set up for so excruciatingly long that the mystery boy awkwardly slipped out of the dungeon without a word. 

“We start classes in about 5 hours,” he suddenly remarked. His voice made you jump a bit, since you’d become used to the regained quiet. “Why the hell are you already studying? And a subject we’ve all already taken? Any other Transfiguration courses would just be electives, and with how much you care for your class standing I would have assumed you’d be learning ahead on Potions.”

“Well first of all, I’m not exactly studying. I’m just reading. I bought the book myself because I-” you stopped and heaved a sigh at the scrunch of his eyebrows. He clearly wasn’t understanding the concept of reading just for the fun of it. “I’m not studying for Potions because I despite it. Plus, how much is there to study? The book literally spells out every ingredient and procedure. There’s no thinking to be done, and hardly any magic.” Beomgyu’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline comically. 

“Hardly any magic? My god, maybe I was right to peg you as the pessimistic type. Must be hard to feel anything akin to hope down here in your-” he glanced around your common room again, eyes catching on the darkened green and black decorations, the window offering a view of the sparkling Black Lake shrouded with pine trees. “In your dungeon.” 

His use of the word bothered you greatly. Even though you knew it was geographically true and had even used it yourself; something about him coming in unannounced and uninvited to insult your home inspired fresh anger in your stomach. 

“Get out,” you spat, ignoring the way a half-dozed Yeonjun jumped at your voice. With all your might you pushed at Beomgyu’s broad shoulders, willing him out of your sight for at least a few more hours. 

“Oof, must have hit a nerve there, huh?” He continued to speak casually as you pushed him, walking backwards up the steps with an annoyingly perfect accuracy. Once he was finally stood in the threshold of the heavy door you heaved a sigh of relief as you swing it closed.

“Bye bye! Don’t ever fucking come back!”

——

You only managed about two hours of sleep after the Beomgyu drama, but luckily for you the three other sixth year girls you were rooming with had been smart enough to buy and stash away some caffeine potions. They had none of the enjoyable taste of coffee but three times the effect, and soon you felt back in top shape to head to class.

Pushing through the masses of clambering students with a practice eased, you caught up to the familiar frame of Georgiana, one of your oldest friends. She was a Ravenclaw, but you’d ridden together on your very first trip on the Hogwarts Express and stayed close friends since then. She greeted you easily, giving you an award winning smile as she pulled you by the arm of the robes to sit on one of the surprisingly empty stone benches lining the halls.

“Let me see your schedule!” She had to yell just to be heard over the mumbling of the crowd, but you heard her well enough to produce a folded piece of parchment that you carried despite having memorized it. Georgiana’s eyes flitted over it carefully, comparing it to her own schedule which laid open on her lap.

“We’ve got...Herbology 3,” she ran her finger down the parchments a few more inches, “Transfiguration of Aquatics...and NEWT prep together!” You groaned loudly, a feeling of anxiety weighing down your bones as you rubbed your fingertips into your temples.

“What’s up with you? Over me already?” She giggled, leaning back against the wall and handing you back your schedule.

“No, it’s just...if you’re the second class for Herb 3, Aquatics and NEWT prep, that means I have to pray that the second house in Potions isn’t Gryffindor.” You leaned back against the cool wall next to her, pouting in self pity until you saw the grim look on her face.

“What?” You sat up straight again as if a fire had been lit under your ass. Georgiana looked as if she was holding in a laugh and a grimace at the same time while you begged her to give up whatever information she was holding back from you. Her hand hovered over her mouth in an attempt to hide the wavering smirk running across her lips. 

“Okay, don’t freak out.” She began, placing a hand on your knee. 

“Well now I’m definitely going to since you lead with don’t freak out! Should I freak out? What about?”

“I already compared schedules with Soobin,” she said gently.

“Okay, and?” You knew of the sweet Hufflepuff, had sat next to him in a few classes and seen him hanging out with Yeonjun on occasion, but still had no idea why she was bringing him up now.

“And him and I have Potions together.” In the split second it took for the words to process you saw her flinch, clutching at the fabric of her robes over her chest in anticipation for your angry outburst.

“Of course! Of course I have to get stuck with them for Potions class, out of all the other houses. Merlin really has it out for lately you know, I didn’t sleep very much last night, had to pay Melinda 10 galleons for one of her caffeine potions-“

“I can tell,” Georgiana supplied. You grimaced at her and immediately shut your mouth, sensing your rapid talking was quickly becoming over the top.

“Georgie, if I have Potions with him-“ you didn’t even have to specify who you were speaking of before she was rolling her green eyes into her head.

“If you have Potions with Beomgyu, you just need to ignore him. He loves to push your buttons, Y/N. When will you realize that? And you push his back and you both get a good cat-and-mouse feeling that every teenager wants. Maybe if you stop entertaining it, he’ll take it easy on you. Need I remind you of the time you were actually friends with him? Didn’t swear he was the spawn of Satan after every conversation? I even remember in second year when you had a crush on him and made me-“

“Okay!” You replied curtly, gathering your books and parchment back into your arms. “I’m going now! Class starts in,” you pulled back your robe sleeve to look at a watch that clearly was not there, “10 minutes, and I like to be early!” Easily, you slipped into the throngs of students, leaving Georgiana behind with a sly grin on her face.

——

You arrived to the Potions room before any other student, forcing you to idle awkwardly in the small space between the door and the first brewing station. A few of the cauldrons bubbled idly, breaking up the silence of the room with the low hum of white noise. The arched ceilings only amplified the absence of noise- even the never ending buzz of students passing through the hallways was somehow muffled to silence inside the walls. 

“Ah!” The professor bellowed, waving at you from the opposite end of the room where he had been straightening out some piles of parchment that you could only assume were homework papers. “Hello there, you must be quite eager to start the day!” You could feel the skin of the back of your neck heating up as the rotund man approached you gleefully. 

“Oh, um, yes sir. You could say that...” you mumbled, clutching your stack of books to your chest protectively. The man smiled at you kindly but you could still feel the heavy weight of awkwardness seeping into your bones. He opened his mouth again- making another attempt at small talk to which you cringed. As much as you respected the professor on the basis of his knowledge, your ability for any small talk, especially Potions related, was extremely lacking. 

“You must’ve done quite well on your OWLS to be here, yes? Only those with the highest scores can be registered. The class can be quite challenging, but if you’ve got your affairs in order I reckon you’ll fine.” He paused, likely sensing the blankness behind your stare as you nodded politely. “Ah, all things you already know I’m sure. Are you excited to get started with the class?” 

You frowned, holding back your natural instinct for brutal honesty. How on earth could you let this gentle old man down gently? 

“Of course she’s excited! Aren’t we all?” Beomgyu was in the room now, apparently, approaching you from behind and slinging an arm around your shoulders. The loose fabric of his sleeve collided with the side of your face, blinding you for a second. You stumbled on your feet from the jostle, trying to shrug away from the warmth and overwhelming scent of his cologne. Beomgyu never was aware of his own strength as he held you steadily against his side as if he was trying to fuse your bodies together.

“Oh my! So nice to see such great friends between different houses! Back in my day, as I’m sure you know, there was so much hatred between Gryffindors and Slytherins...never would have seen a pair of friends like the two of you!” The professor seemed genuinely delighted, oblivious to the way you tried to wiggle out of Beomgyu’s hold. You offered the professor a plastic smile as more students filed in. As soon as the portly man was otherwise occupied, you stomped the heel of your sneaker into Beomgyu’s foot with all the might you could gather. 

“Merlin, ouch!” He recoiled immediately, withdrawing his arm from around your frame to clutch at the foot you’d hopefully bruised. “I’ve got Quidditch practice after lunch today! How dare you!” 

“Guess it’s a good thing you don’t need your feet for Quidditch, Choi. Serves you right for violating my personal space. Next time it’ll be worse than your fucking toes.” You hissed the words lowly, just enough that he would be able to hear them but without alerting your nearby classmates. 

“You two, there!” The professor suddenly exclaimed, making you jump out of your stupor to see he was pointed an aged finger at you and Beomgyu. “Since you were first in and seem to get along, I’ll have you be partners on Station 1.” A few confused whispers passed through the classmates behind you and your face fell at the implication. Potions partners with Beomgyu? For the whole year?

He seemed similarly stalled, not moving a single inch away from the front of the room until the professor cleared his throat pointedly. 

“Right, sir, of course,” Beomgyu nodded, rushing over to the furthest of the high-top tables; unsuccessfully trying to hide the pain of his newfound limp. With a satisfied feeling in your chest you followed closely behind, finally unloading the weight of the books in your arms onto the table. 

——

“How much worse could it get?” You groaned, laying your head in your arms at the dining table. 

“Well, you could be sick, or failing a class, or not have any friends, or have lost your books. Hell, let’s not forget what it must have been like to go to school here at the same time as Harry Potter. I mean, no final exams for a few years, but at what cost? Grandpa Ron always tells me about-” 

“Oh, good Merlin, Georgie, that’s not what I meant.” You picked your head up from the table and scanned the bustling hall. A large plate of sandwiches laid in front of you but your appetite was diminished in the presence of your stress. “I mean, how fucked is it that I have to spend every first period for the rest of the year brewing Potions alongside Choi? It’s bad enough that I hate Potions already, and now I’ll have to deal with his stupid, righteous, Slytherin-slandering ass!” You slammed your hand into the wooden table, shaking the plates and glasses near you under the force. 

“Careful there,” Georgiana scolded around a mouthful of bread. “Just keep your head down, don’t react to him like you always do,” she paused to gulp down a sip of pumpkin juice, “he’ll give up eventually.” You heaved a heavy sigh, propping your chin onto the palm of your hand and scanning the Great Hall. Masses of students bustled around, sharing meals and laughing or gathering over homework problems. You weren’t quite sure who or what you were looking for, but all you found was a rowdy group of forth year boys sitting atop one of the tables, casting small hexes at one another and their lunches. You rolled your eyes at their antics before resigning to picking at the few fries on your plate. 

“And if he doesn’t?” You mumbled, casting a pointed glare at a seemingly distracted Georgiana. It took her a second to shift her gaze back to your face, clearing her throat as she narrowed her eyes towards you. 

“Sorry?” She asked, pulling a section of crust off of the third sandwich she’d picked up off of the platter. 

“If he doesn’t give up? What am I supposed to do then?” The thought of living out the next two school years with Choi Beomgyu as a constant annoyance settled a pit of rage in your stomach. Georgiana was quiet for a moment, flicking a few locks of curled, fiery hair over her shoulder. 

“Then you get back at him.” She shrugged. “You know you get a discount at the joke shop. Just go down there and pick up some puking pastilles or something.” She looked up again suddenly, eyes shimmering and focused intently on something behind you. Out of curiosity you turned on the spot, wondering if there was something of interest outside of the window, only to be met with the sight of Soobin standing mere feet away, hand stalled mid-wave. It didn’t take a genius to notice that the Hufflepuff was staring intently at your best friend, and she was happily returning the sentiment with a goofy grin on her face. You whipped back around to face her, leaning across the table as if the action would provide any secrecy with him so close. 

“Are you and Soobin...” you wiggled your eyebrows at her and she swatted at your shoulder. Her cheeks blushed rosy as she whispered back, “He asked me if I’d want to hang out when we go to Hogsmeade this weekend.” Her voice shook as she spoke but you frowned instantly. Of course you were happy that he had finally manned up and the two of them were on the way to something akin to a date, but...

“First weekend Hogsmeade is our tradition!” You shouted, abandoning any secrecy you might have thought you’d maintained from Soobin. 

“Y/N, please!” Georgiana hissed, glancing up at Soobin with an apologetic smile. “Just once. You can still come along, maybe you can bring someone too?” She offered, trying to placate your irritation. Her eyes continued sliding between you and Soobin as she waited for your response. You sank back onto the bench quietly, arms crossed over your chest. 

“Fine.” You sighed. “I guess I can try to think of someone.” Georgiana’s face lit up as she stood from her seat and gathered her books back under her arm. She rounded the end of the table quickly, meeting up with Soobin just behind you. “Don’t think I’m not still irritated, Weasley!” You yelled after her even though she had turned her back to you. She stalled in her lockstep next to Soobin just long enough to turn her head and throw you a middle finger. 

——

The day of your Hogsmeade visit came quicker than you anticipated, and of course you’d failed to find someone to fill the empty spot that would prevent you from third wheeling. Everyone you asked had either been otherwise busy, sick, or already going into Hogsmeade with other friends.

Georgiana, being the wonderful friend she was, made sure that you hadn’t felt left out on the walk into the village. Soobin was surprisingly good at keeping conversation despite his shy appearance, and the three of you had managed to share lunch and a few Butterbeers at The Three Broomsticks before Georgiana began giving you pointed glances. It took you an embarrassingly long time to recognize what her hand signals and mouthed words were conveying, but once you did you had excused yourself to wander the shops alone in a bid to give the lovebirds some privacy.

The weather was surprisingly pleasant, and as such the streets were lined with witches and wizards of all ages. Large throngs of students and families passed you by, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit like a fish swimming upstream as everyone pushed by. When you’d first stepped out you felt odd walking the cobbled street alone, considering you’d never made a solo trip to Hogsmeade for as long as you’d lived. Something about it was quite relaxing, though, as you realized you could enter any store and stay for any amount of time. 

Once you’d wrestled your way through another group of oncoming students, you spotted an endearing baby blue storefront with deserts on display in the window. Many of them appeared to be muggle creations, and your mouth watered as you caught sight of a tray of fudgy brownies with a thick layer of chocolate icing. Your eyes had always been bigger than your stomach; so despite the fact that you’d just had lunch you find yourself stepping into the sweet smelling shop. An expansion charm helped stretch the store far beyond its dainty storefront, and you were met with the sight of even more display cases and tiered plates full of sweets. 

A few other wizards mulled around the store, debating which treats to pick up and pack into the little green pastry boxes which were stacked at the entrance in a never ending supply. You balanced one of your own between your hands as you gathered up treats, sure to grab three of the very brownies that had brought you in to begin with. You packed in a few cookies that you found on a shelf near the back of the store and began to weigh your options between purchasing what appeared to be a type of muggle cake with specs of color floating about the white batter or a more familiar looking pumpkin pastry dusted with powdered sugar. You contemplated the two deserts for an amount of time that would have been embarrassing if you were in the presence of company.

“Wrackspurts on the brain?” A rush of hot breath inches away from the shell of your ear had you reeling, clutching your box of precious deserts to your chest. Of course you’d immediately identified the voice; you were just hoping that you were wrong as you shot daggers into the boy who’d spooked you. Beomgyu looked beyond pleased with himself: a hand cocked on his hip, fake glasses perched at the very end of his nose to perfectly top off the outfit he’d chosen. His robes hung open, one shoulder almost devoid of the fabric as it drooped onto his back. The maroon turtleneck he wore struck a perfect contrast with the golden undertones of his skin and matched impressively well to the emblem on his robes. He had tucked the turtleneck into the waistband of a pair of light wash jeans that made it hard not to marvel at the shape of his waist. The scent of his cologne was faint, overpowered by the sweetness of the shop, but you were picking up overwhelming scents of-

“Hello? Earth to Y/N?” He scrunched his nose as he studied you, waving gingerly like you would have at a child.

“Oh! Uh, I’m here, I’m here. What the hell do you want anyway?” You turned your attention back to the two pastries you’d been considering before his sneak attack in an attempt to keep yourself from looking back at his form.

“What’re you doing here alone? Out of friends? Did ya bore them all to death?” He had rounded to the opposite side of the table, forcing you to look at him straight on.

“I walked into Hogsmeade with Georgiana and Soobin, if you must know. They wanted some time alone so here I am.” You glanced up again to see him leaning casually against the table with one arm bracing his weight.

“I just have to point out that you’re also alone, Beomgyu. So I’m not quite sure why so keen on bashing me.” Your eyes skate over the deserts one final time before you decisively package up a slice of the muggle cake. The urge to celebrate the small victory was squashed by Beomgyu’s scoff.

“I’m here alone because I chose to be, not because my best friend is on a date and didn’t want a chaperone. Don’t you find that a little embarrassing?”

To be honest, you hadn’t considered it that way. You knew that finding a person to keep you from third wheeling had been your responsibility. But maybe he had a point. Although he was a constant nagging force, Beomgyu was insightful and intelligent. He’d helped you in class many times back when you were friends. Nervously, you nibbled at your bottom lip and considered his words carefully. Did Georgiana find your presence today embarrassing? She was surely too nice to tell you so, and there was no denying the tension in her face while she waited for you to leave The Three Broomsticks earlier. Your normally stoic face must have betrayed you, conveying that you were starting to feel hurt at the words that suddenly seemed to make so much sense. 

“I was joking,” Beomgyu spoke up suddenly, rounding the table to once again be next to you. “Don’t take everything I say so seriously, Y/N. I’m beginning to worry for your sense of humor.” He picked up a couple of cookies with careful dexterity and settled them into the palm of his hand. 

“Of course,” you concluded bitterly, taking a step back in a bid to get to the counter and buy your treats. “Must be my broken sense of humor and not just the fact that you’re an ass.” His face twisted unpleasantly as you stepped further away. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but you were already pivoting on the balls of your feet to make your way toward the front of the shop. 

——

The evidence of the first frost of the season crunched underneath your feet as you hurried to class. As someone who prided themselves on showing up on time for classes every day, you were particularly embarrassed to have woken up with just twenty minutes to spare before the beginning of potions. There was no excuse, either. You had simply stayed up too late studying for the NEWT practice exam and forgot to set your alarm before lying down.

To make matters worse you’d greatly underdressed yourself, underestimating the absolute chill of the morning when you had peeled out from the window. Only now, as you found yourself feet away from the classroom did you feel the icy temperature begin to bite into your exposed skin. Your cheeks were numb with cold, and your hands shook as you pushed them under your arms for some amount of warmth. Luckily the classroom was warmer when you finally got to it. Guiltily, you grinned at your professor as he notably marked your attendance onto the scroll of parchment. 

“Rough night?” Beomgyu asked under his breath as the professor launched into the lesson for the day. You kept your back turned to the boy in favor of writing down the list of ingredients that was being provided to you. A firm poke in the middle of your back had you turning on your stool, already silently fuming as you came face to face with Beomgyu. 

“What?” You mouthed, trying your best not to alert your professor that neither of you were paying attention to him. 

“You look awful,” he mouthed back, pulling the most exaggerated gagging expression you’d ever seen in your life. Your fingers twitched, resisting the urge to grab him by his necktie and slap him across his annoyingly perfect face. Instead you threw up your middle finger boldly, practicing a muggle tradition that wizards had become quite fond of. Beomgyu feigned shock, laying a hand over his heart and pretending to faint right there at his stool. 

“-so you’ll be using this combination of potions for the group project, due in one weeks time.” Your professor concluded. Wide eyed, you spun back around on your stool only to see the words previously written on the board disappear with a flick of his wand. A group project? Potions, plural? You’d only taken notes on one mixture, and you were sure that Beomgyu hadn’t taken any notes at all. Although maybe the group project wasn’t among your table mate? Your heart fluttered as you prayed for that to be the reality, scanning your classmates to see if anyone got up to switch seats or combine tables. 

Not a single soul moved. 

“Guess it’s just us.” Beomgyu drawled from behind you. 

“Did you take any notes?” You asked, fear running through your veins. If both of you were clueless, you’d have to ask the professor to explain everything to you again, which would only implicate the two of you for not paying attention to begin with. 

Beomgyu shook his head and shrugged much too casually for a student who was in the dark about an entire project. 

“I’ll just ask someone. Hey, Art-” 

“No!” You scrambled for a rolled piece of parchment to hit him on the arm with before he could finish his shout across the classroom. “Please, do not scream across the room that we don’t know what we’re doing.” Your cheeks were flaming, anxiety and exhaustion building to a dangerous level in your bloodstream.

“Awe, are you ashamed to admit you were too busy talking to me to pay attention?” Beomgyu cooed, cradling his chin in his palms.

“No. I’m embarrassed that we’re the only ones not starting the work,” you glanced pointedly to all of the other tables where your classmates were hard at work on...something. Every table housed a slowly bubbling cauldron producing a steady stream of light grey smoke. The cauldron resting on the table between the two of you was alarmingly quiet, your stores of provided potion ingredients remaining untouched. 

“Alright, Y/N. How about right now we work on the one you wrote down,” he points a finger at the parchment containing the list of notes you managed to take, “and I’ll talk to someone about the rest. Since you’re too proud to ask for help.” Without waiting for you to process the words he gripped the parchment between his fingers and pulled it toward the middle of the table. He mumbled a simple aguamenti under his breath and the cauldron filled with the perfect level of water. He then scrutinized the words for just a moment before he began to collect ingredients with a practiced ease, barely even glancing at the labels of the hefty glass containers. You’d never seen him quite as focused in a class as he was at the moment, his nimble fingers uncapping lids and measuring precise amounts of lacewing flies with a delicacy you never would have expected to come from the hands of Gryffindor’s star Beater. 

One after the other, ingredients fell into the wrought iron cauldron, changing the color of the mixture from clear to an odd, murky green. You scrunched your nose in distaste but Beomgyu was nodding to himself in satisfaction, his fluffy hair bouncing back off of his forehead. 

“Stop staring and start taking notes, Y/N.” His voice was casual but his lips were twisted in a smirk as you scrambled for both an excuse and a fresh roll of parchment. 

“I wasn’t,” you defended as you begin to scribble out notes against the parchment, refusing to meet his eyes as the shame of being caught red-handed crawled up the back of your throat and stung behind your eyes. He simply hummed in acknowledgment and tossed in a few leaves of a plant you didn’t have time to identify into the bubbling mixture.

——

Impatiently, you tapped your foot against the stone floor. It echoed a sound that would have been satisfying in its consistency if it weren’t for the annoyance running through your veins. Beomgyu had promised to meet you in the west corner of the library today, at a prompt 7pm, in order to finish synthesizing your plan for the Potions project. You checked the clock on the wall again just in case you had somehow misread the hands only to find them confirming your suspicions. Beomgyu was blowing you off. He had suggested the time and place himself, and yet he couldn’t even have the decency to show up. 

Anger blossomed in your chest as you stood to gather the things you’d brought along. Your chair scraped on the floor and attracted the stares of a few other students put you paid them no mind as you swore under your breath. 

Of course Beomgyu had stood you up in the face of an important project. He was probably laughing away to his friends in the common room, boasting about how he’d left you sitting in the library like a fool. Once again he had proven himself to be an utterly useless and annoying human being that you wished you had never even met. Your teeth sunk into the supple flesh of your bottom lip so hard that blood pooled on your tongue, the bitter tang snapping you into action. The route to the Gryffindor common room was a familiar one, and the hatred brimming inside of you made your legs move even faster than usual, swearing under your breath as you finally came face to face with the portrait keeping you from entering the room. 

“I don’t have time for any password- please just let me in. I’m looking for someone.” Your words came rushed, obviously annoyed as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Now, you know that isn’t how this works, dear,” the painting asserted, crossing their arms to mimic your own stubborn pose. “I can’t let just anyone into the room. I’ve got,” the portraited stopped dead in its tracks and began counting on its fingers silently. “I’ve got 30 students inside right now, and it’s my job to protect them.” Your fists clenched at your sides over the stubborn portrait, fingers itching to grab your wand and level a badgering curse against the damned painting. It must have read the anger on your face as you fiddled with the fabric of your robes, as it’s booming voice came again; 

“Tell me who you’re seeking, and I can tell you if I’ve seen them!” With your fingers still curled around your wand, it took a fair deal of restraint to leave it in your robe pocket. After a deep, steadying breath, you looked back up at the portrait. A beat of silence passed before you slathered on a sweet smile, clearing your throat to quell any remnants of your frustrated growl. 

“I’m looking for Choi Beomgyu.” 

The portrait took a moment to contemplate your words, squeezing its eyes tightly and tapping its fingers as you assumed it searched the students inside the Gryffindor common room and dorms. 

“He’s not here.” It finally concluded, snapping its eyes back open to peer down at you again. Frustration flamed your skin red all the way to your hairline. Hogwarts and it’s grounds were extensive, and searching for him would surely take up your entire night. 

“I did happen to see out Quidditch players heading down to the pitch around 5 o’clock, though.” Not needing any further ceremony, you turned on your heels and made your way toward the exit of the castle. The corridors were fairly empty, and the few students still milling around were quick to step out of your way as you hurried through them, robes flowing out behind you. Silently you thanked your lucky stars that no professors had been around to inquire about why you were rushing out of the castle in such a haste. 

As soon as you set foot outside, you regretted not stopping by your dorm first to grab your coat and scarf. It had been three days since you woke up to the first frost, and the temperature had only continued to drop into frigid numbers. Even in the limited light provided by the setting sun you could see your breath fogging ahead of you. Cold air curled around your body, seeming to seep underneath your skin with a harsh ferocity. For now you simply tucked your hands deeper into the fabric of your robes, hoping that the heat of them in conjunction with your brisk pace would keep your body warm enough.

The walk to the Quidditch pitch was deceptively far when you traveled alone. Normally you were so distracted by conversation with your friends and the last minute bets between houses that you didn’t have time to mull over how many steps it took you to arrive at the stands; but today you were nothing short of pissed at how far away the compound had been built. Every step you took sent a shock of cold through your feet, your toes completely numb no matter how much you wiggled them inside your sneakers. The trees shuddered with you as you passed them, leaves spiraling to the ground as they finally give in to the pressure of the cold and resign themselves.

Finally you passed through the solid wood of the viewing stands, coming face to face with the expanse of the pitch in front of you. Totally empty. Not a single soul was to be found warming up on the grass or running practice games in the air. Upon listening, you couldn’t even hear any distant chatter that would indicate the team being huddled into the locker room.

“Shit!” A new wave of frustration crashed through your mind. Had you passed them on the way over? It was plausible that they had taken a different route back to the castle and your whole trip had been in vain. Exhausted, you leaned against the wall and listened to the whip of the banners against their metal poles, the clinking of their bindings matching with the steady, loud beat of your pulse. Just as you were about to turn and head back for the castle in your freezing shame, you heard another sound. This one was different, less uniform, almost like a grunt of exhaustion followed by a heavy thud. Your freezing feet moved almost without you to follow the noise. A vicious wind whipped your hair, mussing it up so badly that you had to stop in your tracks to gather it all back into place. You hazarded every step you took, unsure exactly where the source of the noise was coming from other than somewhere behind the stands. On your next step you heard the noise again, much closer this time, and the excitement of being close to solving this mystery had your footsteps speeding up.

Just as you rounded the curving stands, you spotted the culprit, still a little hard to make out due to the distance you had yet to cover, but the colors and shape of a Gryffindor Quidditch uniform were clear. Upon further inspection, it became obvious that the heavy thud you’d been hearing was a the heavy iron Bludger cracking against the magically reinforced bat. There were only two Beaters on the team, and one of them was the very man who’d forced you to walk into the frigid night. You continued your steady approach to the figure, morbidly curious over who it was that was out here pushing themselves to practice alone in the freezing cold. 

“Hey!” You yelled as you edged closer, hoping to give whoever it may be a fair warning that you were approaching. Within three feet of the body, there was no mistaking it to be Beomgyu. 

“Choi!” You raged, yelling much louder than required for him to hear you. The Bludger was sailing far away from the two of you with a strong hit as you closed the distance almost all the way. “I know you can hear me, asshat.” Beomgyu kept his eyes on the iron ball, effectively ignoring your words. In disbelief you glanced back and forth between his face-seeing the way his eyes narrowed in concentration as the Bludger came closer by the second. 

“Is this where you’ve been all night? Playing Quidditch while you were supposed to meet me in the library?” A strong gust of wind knocked the air out of you, shivers running down your spine as you waited for any response from the boy. The Bludger came whistling back toward the two of you, and in the split second you had the foresight to step back he had tensed his shoulders, gripped the end of his bat and took another strong and precise hit against the Bludger, sending it even further away than the last one. 

“Lost track of time.” He supplied absentmindedly, turning his head to regard you with lazy eyes. 

“What?” You seethed, stepping forward again, placing yourself in front of his frame in hopes of appearing somewhat intimidating. “You lost track of time? Let’s talk about the fact that out project is due in four fucking days, and all we have to show is a single god damn Potion. This was your responsibility,” you pushed your pointed finger into the front of his uniform, the fabric giving way to allow you to feel the firmness of his chest underneath. “I trusted you with the single task of making sure that we could figure out the rest of this project, and you fucked up!” Tears of frustration rimmed your eyes as the worry of failure overwhelmed you. As much as you hated Potions, you’d be damned if Choi Beomgyu became the reason you do poorly. 

“Listen, I seriously did just forget,” he pushed at your shoulders forcefully, to which you planted your feet into the ground harder. “Seriously, Y/N, I forgot! Now move!” 

“No! You are not,” you grabbed at his forearm and pulled it off of your shoulder, “going to blow me off again! We are going to work on this project right now, even if its the last thing I do!” 

“It’s about to be if you don’t fucking move!” He yelled, finally managing to uproot your feet and push you off to the side with so much force that you landed flat on your ass, the cold hardness of the ground knocking the breath out of your lungs. From the ground, you watched helplessly while Beomgyu scrambled to grab his bat in time to hit the whirring Bludger. He was a quick enough thinker to see that there was no way he’d make the move in time, so he simply did the next best thing- turning his back to the ball and ducking his head into his chest, covering the back of his neck with his arms. 

With a sickening crack, the Bludger made foul contact with Beomgyu’s back, striking just below his left shoulder blade. The force knocked him forward, his hands barely catching himself as he met the ground harshly. He cried out in pain, the sound bouncing around the stands and piercing your veins. In a hurry, you crawled toward his heaving body and urged him to sit up with the guidance of your hands. 

“Are you okay?” The words rushed out of you in a hurry, panic crawling up the back of your throat at the shine of tears streaming down his reddened cheeks. 

“Wh-what the hell do you think?” He groaned, body shaking as he struggled to even take a breath. 

“Okay, right. Dumb question. Let’s get you to the infirmary, yeah?” His legs shook as he got them under him, something akin to a baby deer taking its first few steps. Instinctively you shot out an arm to steady him, looping your arm behind his back as effectively as you could given the height difference and placement of his injury. 

“Merlin, I think I broke my shoulder blade,” he groaned, stumbling across the uneven ground with trepidation. 

“You didn’t, I watched. It actually hit right below your shoulder blade, so if anything it’s just bruised, and you probably won’t even need a bone-healing spell, so recovery should be little more than some Devil’s Claw for the pain and-” 

“Did someone cast a babbling curse on you? Merlin’s beard. It’s bad enough that you got me hit to begin with, and now I have to listen to you run your mouth!’ His voice was still pinched with pain, an octave lower than normal as he gritted his teeth. The two of you finally reached the threshold of the castle, encapsulated by the warmth of the torches littered all inside. 

“I’m trying to help! Did you ever consider the fact that if you had showed up to our scheduled meeting time, you could have avoided being hit. I could have avoided freezing all of my extremities off, and I wouldn’t have to be helping your ass to the infirmary.” 

The noise of your bickering outside of the infirmary wing attracted the nurse to the hallway, who furrowed her eyebrow in silent question over the two of you. 

“He got hit by a Bludger, ma’am,” you supply as soon as you see her. Her eyes widen instantly as she rushed forward, helping you guide Beomgyu into an empty cot. She shooed you aside as she fretted over him, asking questions about the incident in a low, steady tone before nodding seriously. Without any kind of warning, Beomgyu was pulling the fabric of his uniform over his head, leaving his top half bared to you. Your cheeks burned, and you cleared your throat nervously. The nurse was too busy prodding at the blossoming bruise to have heard your stutter, but Beomgyu was nothing if not aware. 

His dark eyes found your form standing just a few paces away, staring unabashedly at the faint hint of his abs that had become visible. 

“Somethin’ you like?” He drawled playfully, snapping you out of your reverie. 

“Merlin, no.” You sneered, hoping to cover the thickness of your tone as you swallowed hard. “Just trying to decide if I should tell the Quidditch team to get their backup trained for the game tomorrow night.” Beomgyu’s face fell at the implication of your words and a sting of regret struck your heart. 

“There will be no need for a backup, dear,” the nurse cooed, shuffling her feet as she gathered up a few healing supplies. She offered a bottle of innocent looking clear liquid to Beomgyu and he drank it instantly, grimacing at what you assumed to be a foul taste. “Now, dear, if you don’t fancy seeing your boyfriend in more pain as I heal him-”

“Please. He is not my boyfriend. I just helped him get here. I’ll be going now, anyway. See you tomorrow?” You asked pointedly, hoping he would understand your incessant need to finish the Potions project. He nodded slightly, and you scanned Beomgyu’s form one more time before excusing yourself to the nurse and scurrying back to your dorm. 

——

“I better hear a thank you.” Beomgyu asserted as soon as he slumped in the seat across from you. He had been so quiet in his approach to the table that you hadn’t heard him until now, rocketing your gaze up towards him from the pages of your Transfiguration book. 

“Beomgyu,” you breathed, relieved to see that he had been healed and able to return to classes just the morning after the Bludger hit. You schooled your features into cool indifference as soon as you saw his mouth twitch up at the sound of his name. “For what am I thanking you? Withholding information about the project?” 

“No,” he shook his head, springing a few carefully parted hairs loose from their spot. “For- number one-” he paused dramatically, drumming his bony fingers against the edge of the high-topped table, “providing you all the information for finishing this project.” Out of seemingly nowhere he produced a thick roll of parchment that unrolled to reveal a step by step explanation. Pages of carefully written instructions went into great detail on every step of the potions that needed to be made. A sense of relief and happiness washed through you, enough to make your hands curl into excited fists as you beamed. 

“Turns out our Seeker is good at more than catching a Snitch. She got the highest marks in this class last year, and agreed to share the notes with me.” 

“Thank you, Beomgyu. Seriously. I was beginning to worry.” 

“I know, I know. It feels good to be your savior, Y/N. Oh, which reminds me of reason number two; the fact that I spared you a Bludger hit last night.” 

“I thought we’d already covered this. Most of that encounter was your fault. Plus, your little shove left me with a bruise of my own on my ass.” Pouting, you shifted your weight in an attempt to alleviate the pain against said bruise. 

“Just admit it, Y/N,” he leaned forward, his face mere inches from your own so as not to be heard by anyone around. “You’re indebted to me. Two times over.” He was cocky, but you had to admit he had a point. As much grief as he had caused you, he had saved you from both a failing grade and an injury in just under 24 hours. 

“You’ve got a point.” Beomgyu shrunk back into his seat, cocking his head to the side as if he hadn’t heard you correctly. It seemed like he was waiting for a witty remark or some kind of argument to his words, but you kept a sure, steady gaze on him instead. Either your eyes were playing tricks on you or there was a slowly building flush of red blooming from under the collar of his cable-knit sweater onto his cheeks. Against your will, your mind reproduced the image of his bared chest from last night. 

“What do I owe you?” The question rolled off of your tongue like butter as you took the chance to lean forward to him, balancing carefully on your stool with your elbows planted onto the table. 

“I-I just,” Beomgyu frowned at his stutter, apparently upset by his own lack of confidence. His mouth opened and closed again in quick succession and you grinned wider. Another teasing lilt was right at the tip of your tongue, but the booming voice of your professor cracked the tension wide open and had you sitting back on your stool. 

——

Two days later, you stand behind your stool in Potions class, wringing your hands together nervously. Your portly professor had spent all morning swirling around the class, leaning over the cauldrons and vials present at every table. He muttered a few things to every pair of students, nodding along as they explained their approach to him. It seemed as if he were grading on the spot, since you caught a glimpse of a quill gliding over a small strip of parchment. 

Finally the elder approached your table, bushy eyebrows pinched into one another as he had already begun to scrutinize the potions laid out for him. He said nothing as he approached, quietly appraising your work. One by one, he picked up the vials one by one, peering through the clear bottom and giving them an experimental swirl. He hummed happily to himself and your heart soared. Across the table you noticed Beomgyu looking equally pleased. The professor set down the vials one by one before leveling his gaze onto you. 

“How do you think you did?” He questioned, producing the same thin strip of parchment you’d seen him use at other tables. Palms sweating, you stole a glance at Beomgyu who gave you an encouraging wave of his hand. 

“I think we did quite well, professor. It took us a bit to get the whole project together, but I feel confident in our end results here.” Nervously, your eyes skated down to his quill, tapping against the parchment rhythmically. 

“Well, I think you did quite well, the two of you. These potions are near perfect. Couldn’t make them any better myself.” It felt as if the air had been sucked from your lungs, shocking you beyond belief. Never once in your life did you think you’d be receiving such high marks in Potions- especially with Beomgyu as your partner. Your professor marked a delicate “A+” on the small strip of parchment. 

Beomgyu threw a triumphant fist in the air, wiggling in his spot with pure excitement. Your professor let out a belly laugh, spinning around to address the entire class. 

“I didn’t want to advertise this since I wanted you all to put in your best, pure efforts to the project. But, now that I’ve reviewed everyone’s work and determined the best,” you swapped a look of confusion with Beomgyu, both assuming that he was referring to you. “I am offering an award to our friends at Station 1!” He motioned to the two of you wildly, robes flailing as you ushered to the front of the room. Your peers glared at the two of you, but you were too far onto cloud nine to care. 

“Good thing I got those notes, huh?” Beomgyu muttered to you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 

“Good thing I spent all last night making sure we actually had the potions to present.” Keeping your voice low and level to keep him from sensing just how grateful you were for his efforts. The class murmured lowly, surely trading snide remarks about the two of you until the professor cleared his throat pointedly.

From the pocket of his robes, the professor pulled out two small, clear vials. One was pressed into each of your palms, and you stared up at him with confusion. Maybe this was a sign you should have paid more attention to the types of potions around you.

“Luck potions, please use them carefully” he supplied helpfully, swirling back around to face the entire class. “Now, who’s willing to take a photo of me and our winners?” The professor bellowed, producing an old film camera from somewhere and brandishing until someone shuffled off of their stool.

——

Fresh, fluffy snow floated down in gentle waves outside the window. It was the thick of winter now, and despite your best efforts to bundle up you were still huddling into yourself for warmth as students shuffled into Potions around you. Everyone seemed especially lethargic, yearning for the break from classes that Christmas promised. You laid your head onto your folded arms, feeling just as exhausted as the atmosphere suggested. 

Sleep had been evading you lately, annoyingly deceptive as you would lay down in bed tired only to be kept awake by your racing mind for several hours. Somehow settling into your arms in this classroom was the most content you’d felt in days. And then you felt a firm push at the back of your head. There was no mistaking who the perpetrator was, especially as you heard the scrape of a stool directly across from you. 

“Good morning to you too, Beomgyu.” He was perched perfectly on his stool, eyes wide and bright. For as long as you’d known him, he had thrived in the cold and the snow. “You are obnoxiously cheerful. God damn Gryffindors.” 

“Not my fault you’re such a grouch. But I guess it is true that snakes don’t like the cold.” 

“Do you ever let up? Or do you get pleasure out of ruining my mood every single morning?” 

A grin cracked his lips as a short laugh bubbled through. “Thinking about my pleasure, are you? Concerned I’m not getting enough? I can assure you that-”

“Okay, gross. Stop. Enough. You know that isn’t what I meant.” Quite honestly, you had no time to endure his usual teasing so you simply turned your body away from him, idly watching the professor gather his things at the desk. 

“Right, let’s get going! We need all the time we can manage today!” He seemed more jubilant than usual as he centered his own cauldron onto the middle of his desk. “Today we’ll be making love potions. Amortentia, you may know. If you’ll open to page 104, you can find the procedure. It is important to note that this potion cannot make anyone truly fall in love, but it does create a strong attraction to whomever you make with it in mind. Of course, the full effect doesn’t apply unless it is consumed. Today we will simply be brewing it for practice. If done correctly, the potion will emulate-” 

“The scent of what you find most attractive,” you muttered absent mindedly, reading directly off of the page you had open in your lap. 

“Exactly, miss Y/N. Your potion today will smell like what you find most appealing.” He nodded proudly. A feeling of anxiety rose in your chest as he rattled on. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t think of the type of scents that would come from the potion. You were quite fond of some scents in candle form, but you wouldn’t classify them as...attractive. Even more worrying was the idea that no matter how hard you tried, you would have to reveal this concoction in front of Beomgyu, who took every chance presented to torment you. Your professor clapped his hands together, marking the beginning of your working period. 

The instructions were simple enough, so you took extra care to be sure that the   measurements were as perfect as you could get them. The room was shrouded in a hushed silence that indicated everyone was working hard on this. After all, this was the most exciting potion that’d been offered to you all year. 

“Can’t wait to see which poor dude you have a crush on,” Beomgyu chuckled as he stirred his pot exactly three times counter-clockwise. 

“Could say the same for you! I seriously petty whichever girl you’ve been fancying. Imagine being at the receiving end of your...ick. You’d better tell me who it is so I can send them a warning.” You stirred your pot the same way he had, watching the mixture turn to a stereotypical bright pink. The instructions lead you to allow the mixture to culminate for exactly two minutes before any results could be sought. 

The students who happened to work faster than you were already taking a sniff at their potions and recording the scents on their parchment, some pairs gossiping amongst one another about what they smelled. A clank of metal had you whipping your head upwards, locking eyes with Beomgyu as adjusted his small cauldron to bend over his potion. Since it wasn’t your own, there was no scent for you to distinguish, but you watched the way his eyes widened in shock for a second. 

Unfortunately you had no time to process his expressions before you had to examine the contents of your own cauldron. Before you could even take a deliberate sniff, your senses were rushed with a mix of sweetened musk, a wood that seemed somewhere between cedar and mahogany, and an addicting citrusy undertone that you eventually recognized as bergamot. You placed it immediately.

“Merlin, Beomgyu. Could you refrain from spraying your cologne right now? Why are you even carrying it with you in the middle of-” The words died in your throat as you realized how incriminating your words had become, seeing as Beomgyu had nothing but his quill in his hands. A feeling of sickness rose in the back of your throat as he let out a hearty laugh. 

“My cologne, huh? I actually didn’t even have time to put any on today,” he peered over at your parchment, his height allowing him to easily read the fragrance notes you had scribbled before complaining. “But those are the exact notes of what I wear.” 

Your cheeks flamed, the heat radiating so fully through your system that you felt yourself begin to sweat despite how cold you’d been before. There was no worse fate than this, you decided. Amortentia had betrayed you, putting you under the mercy of Beomgyu’s knowing stare. Fuck, did he really have to find out now that the smell of his cologne secretly drove you crazy? That as much as you hated the way he teased and antagonized you, somewhere deep down you’d never quite lost the crush you developed in second year? 

“I was beginning to think you might’ve had a crush on me, Y/N. Isn’t that so sweet! The stony little Slytherin finally realizing that she’s attracted to me...this is quite the revelation!” Beomgyu lamented, obviously overjoyed at the new ammo he could load into his teasing. 

As much as you searched, you could find no words to defend yourself, as the proof was truly in the potion. A bit defeated, you sunk back into your stool, content to bury your face into your hands until your next class began; but at your new level you could see Beomgyu’s own piece of parchment scrawled with what he had smelled. Reading them upside down was a bit of a challenge, but he was too busy complimenting himself to recognize your analytical stare. Written in a neat list were the scents: sage, some type of berry (juniper?), eucalyptus, something woody (cedar?). 

Your heart stuttered, a bitter laugh threatening to spill out and give yourself away. Skillfully you held it back, cursing to any god or deity who might be listening. The notes matched up exactly with the perfume you wore every single day.

——

“You asked him why he sprayed his cologne?” Georgiana gaped at you across the table in the Great Hall. The two of you had joined up for lunch just hours after your Potions class disaster.

“Yes, but that’s not all! Just before I melted into a puddle of my own dispair, I saw his list, and I swear to Merlin it’s the exact notes of my perfume! Look,” you produced the travel-sized bottle from your pocket, flipping it to the back label and listing off the exact ingedients.

“Wow,” Georgiana nodded, sinking her teeth into a piece of pizza. “That’s quite remarkable.”

“Why are you not giving me more of a reaction?” You whined, stomping your foot against the floor petulantly. She raised an eyebrow high, taking a few more chews at her food.

“You want me to be honest? Or nice?” She asked, weighing the invisible options on her hands in front of you.

“Honest, I guess.”

“Oh, I was hoping you’d pick that one. You see, my sweet Y/N, the two of you have been dancing around this for years. Even though you renounced him all those years ago, I still talk to him on occasion. Not to mention he’s friends with Soobin, so I’ve been provided with some...insider information. To be honest, Soobin and I have both been waiting for the day the two of you finally stopped bickering and like...made out.”

Your face twisted unpleasantly, shocked at her words. “Insider information?” You croaked, creases forming in your forehead. Georgiana smiled devilishly and you swore you could see red horns rising from her fiery hair.

“Beomgyu talks about you all the time. Apparently, back when he was dating Klara, he would often talk to Soobin about how she never bantered with him like you did. They broke up because he kept comparing her to you. Told Soobin that he’s had a crush on you just as long as you have, but he thought you thoroughly hated him.”

“He has a crush on me?” You sputtered, stomach twisting into knots somewhere between disbelief and excitement. Georgiana full on laughed upon seeing your face, the cackle permeating through the air and turning heads.

“Well, I’m not gonna be the one to bring it up. If he’s got a crush on me, he can bring it up.” You suddenly decide, finally indulging in the pizza that had been waiting for you since you sat down.

“That’s my girl, stubborn to the very end.” Georgiana grinned and offered her hand for a high five that you eagerly returned.

——

The weekend brought you a much needed break from both schoolwork and all things Beomgyu related. Christmas break was fast approaching, and all of your professors had surprisingly laid off on assignments. It seemed as if they were just as tired of grading as you were of doing the work.

Unsurprisingly you found yourself in the library, sitting underneath the twinkling of the fairy lights set up especially for the holidays. Most other students were out socializing, so the room was pleasantly vacant. As a result you were able to settle into one of the plush velvet couches that were usually occupied.

After roaming the aisles you’d found an anthology of wizard poetry that piqued your interest. Settling beteeen the cushions of the couch with a book made you feel the most at home you ever had, cracking open the delicate binding and balancing the book in your stomach as you began to read.

There was no way to tell how long you’d been reading, but by your estimations it was only about 20 minutes before someone was looming above you. Startled, you lifted your gaze over the book to see none other than Beomgyu standing before you. He was decked out in a sage green sweater paired with slightly oversized beige slacks. He had forgone his robes, but his Head Boy pin still shined on the breast of his shirt. Typical.

“Can I help you?” You asked, finally sitting up to regard him.

“I thought you’d be here.” He said simply, shuffling on his feet awkwardly. You blinked.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” you poked, slipping your book shut dramatically. “Did you want to ask me something?” Beomgyu licked at his lips before rubbing his fingers against his forehead.

“Merlin, why do you make everything so hard?” He groaned and seemingly became so exhausted that he collapsed onto the ornate rug under his feet. Seeing that you’d riled him up so much by doing practically nothing sent excitement through your veins. As much as the bickering annoyed you, there was no denying the thrill you felt when giving him back a taste of his medicine.

“What exactly am I making so hard? I don’t even know what you’re here for. To be honest I’m shocked you managed to find me in the library. I figured you would start to burn at the door and have to find a different way in.”

Beomgyu rolled his eyes, a hint of a smirk playing at his pillowy lips.

“Don’t act like you don’t know why I’m here.” He finally began to reveal the award winning smile you’d come to know whenever he teased you. “I know what Georgiana told you.” His voice was low, so quiet that if there had been any other souls in the library you’d have missed it.

Your eyes flew open and he flushed instantly. “You two aren’t exactly quiet at the Great Hall, and I’ve got more than a few friends.” It was your turn to flush red, wondering just how many conversations between you and Georgiana had been overheard by other people. 

“So you know that I said...” 

“Why do you think I’m here? All it took was me knowing you also...you know,” he picked at the nonexistent loose threads in the carpet. Honestly, you were shocked at how reserved he had become in the face of this confrontation. All traces of his usual confidence seemed to have vanished in the moment. 

“I do like you, Beomgyu. I had a massive crush on you in second year, but then we got into that fight and-”

“I wouldn’t call it a fight,” he countered animatedly. “You just never understood my humor. All this time, I was hoping that you would catch the hints.” 

“Hints?” It felt like your eyes were going to fall out of your head with how wide you held them. “You call those hints? I’d call those lackluster clues, at best.” 

He was quiet for a moment, examining the smirk on your lips carefully. In a moment of impulse you slid off of the couch to sit opposite him on the floor, knees touching. Your heart hammered against your ribs.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, gripping at his thighs nervously. “Didn’t know how else to go about it.” 

“That’s okay, me either, obviously.” A rueful laugh escaped your lips, and he returned one just as easily. Up this close, the planes of his face were defined by the delicate light provided from the fairy lights. Shyly you shared glances, neither of you knowing quite how to deal with the charged anticipation in the air.

“Will you...come to the last Quidditch game tomorrow?” He finally spoke, snapping your attention back to him.

“Only if I don’t have to wear one of your ugly jerseies.” Feeling bold, you leaned forward just a few inches, beginning to close the gap between you gradually.

“Fine,” he acquised, leaning forward just the same as you had, his breath fanning hot over your face. “In exchange for not wearing a jersey, how about you...” he tapped at his lips cheekily. A surge of excitement tumbled through you.

“That’s a shit way of asking me to kiss you for the first time, Choi.” Nevertheless you leaned forward further, bumping your nose against his own before you finally pecked him firmly on the lips. You felt ridiculously shy, like you were having your first kiss all over again, but Beomgyu smiled reassuringly, pulling your hands into his own and linking them together. The touch encouraged you both, and your lips collided with more assurance than before.

The faint scent of pumpkin juice lingered on his lips, and you wondered how many bottles he’d drank before finally deciding to come find you. Finally you both sought a new breath, taking a moment to close your eyes and collect yourself. When they fluttered back open you saw Beomgyu staring back at you intently, pupils reflecting the strands of lights strung above you.

He mumbled something so quietly that you couldn’t even hear it at your close distance.

“What was that?” You asked, wondering if you’d caught the end of a charmingly romantic thought.

“I said you’re in need of practice.” He smirked, leaning back of his hands cockily.

“Fuck you, man,” you slapped at his shoulder with a firm clap. He gasped, a hand covering his heart as if he were being sworn into a committee.

“Already? I didn’t take you for such an impure heart!” Another hearty laugh bounced around the library and you ducked your head into your hands, resigning to the fact that you were stuck with him.

#beomgyu #choi beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu angst #beomgyu imagine #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu fic #beomgyu au #beomgyu reaction #beomgyu reactions #txt fanfic #txt #txt fluff #txt angst #txt au #txt x reader #txt imagine #txt imagines #txt reaction #txt fic #txt reactions #txt beomgyu #tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together fic #tomorrow x together fluff #tomorrow x together imagine #tomorrow x together imagines #tomorrow x together fanfic

[littlemisslipbalm]

I live in the neighbourhood - Part 3

What happened to the cycling classes after work and the occasional drinks with coworkers? Now it was flying to Italy to vacation for the December holidays with Harry and his family and friends.

Ok part 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the final part of ilitn i believe! let me know what you think! plssss! Not proofread, but your support means the most and it means the world to see your thoughts, literally anything about it, and this little harry I always have to remember that’s the simp your honor ^ right there! anyway happy reading!

Read Part 1 | 2

Word Count: 10.9k | Warnings: swearing, smut! (finally) - oral (m+f receiving, dirty talk, choking? i can’t remember ngl there might not be, sloppy sex, outdoors by the pooldeck just btw, christmas, idk but hopefully nothing I missed, feelings! happy ending (possibly rushed 

-

“You’re really flying to Italy and then traipsing around the Italian countryside for three weeks with Harry and his family? I cannot believe you’re leaving me behind.”

“You’re gonna kill me for saying this, but he had said I could invite a friend or two if I wanted. But I thought it’d be weird with his family so you literally can’t be mad at me!”

“Fine. I’ll move past it, but how did you move past the whole panic attack? Like you barely spoke to him for a month and then he’s on your doorstep and you’re kissing and agreeing to a Roman Holiday?”

“It’s Harry,” she sighs, laying down on her couch. “How could I not, I got scared because he was gone, but once he was back, nothing else mattered.”

“I guess,” Cate mumbles.

“Oof, sorry Cate I have another call, I’ve got to go…”

By the time she tries to pick up the other line has gone to a message and she’s left to listen to her boss over a voicemail:

“Hey Y/N, I know your holidays have just begun, but I wanted to inform you that you’ll be getting a new client in the new year. Big artist! Anyway, just wanted to inform you that I’ll be emailing over some of their paperwork. Feel free to ignore it until the new year! Have a nice trip.”

She sighs. “Interesting...but will definitely be waiting for the new year to even think about work,” she says to herself.

She throws her phone to the side. Tired of all the phone tag and messages she had begun to have to deal with as the Holiday season dawned more and more upon her. She had more important things to think about. Most important being the suitcase laid out before her and the flight she was bound to be taking in less than 24 hours. This time, she wouldn’t be picking Harry up from the airport. No, this time they were flying out of London Heathrow together.

Together together? She wasn’t sure. The kiss on her doorstep and plea of Italian holiday meant a lot to her, but did it scream committed relationship? She had no idea when it came to Harry. Maybe it was better not to ask and just wait until he told her. Wondering had gotten her in a pit last time and she never wanted to feel the way she had over the last month while he had been gone.

She sleeps in her bed for one last night before leaving for a month. Harry had managed to convince the airline to allow Rori to ride with them in first class, so she wouldn’t have to leave her dog in a kennel or with friends during the holidays. She was grateful for that and she just didn’t understand how she had gotten so lucky as to have someone like Harry in her life.

They fly first class and while Harry had secured her ticket last minute, she insisted that he take her money to pay for the ticket. She was determined to not lose herself in this process. She would happily go along with Harry’s crazy life as long as she maintained her constitution. And paying for her own ticket was one of her ways of doing that.

The flight is short, a quick jaunt compared to the arduous trips across the Atlantic, both her and Harry were quite used to from their work and family lives. He smiles at her throughout the journey, coming across the aisle often to check on her and pet Rori. He would make little jokes that wouldn’t make anyone else laugh but them and he would grab the airpod she would take out and play whatever she had been listening to and offer a dance. His little dances were so sweet, if strange and awkward in the small flight cabin.

She wore grey marbled leggings and a matching thick strapped tank top beneath a nondescript hoodie. Harry’s dressed quite nice for traveling, she presumes in case he’s papped. Linen trousers, a collared coat, and some beaded necklaces he had taken to wearing over the last few months - each month seemed to add on another necklace, but she wasn’t counting.

He had reminded her to bring large sunglasses for the airport.

He had said “I don’t care if we’re seen together, but it’s more for your comfort. I hate when my friend’s lives are put on display for the whole world. You’re not the one who signed up for this.”

She had been appreciative and grabbed her largest pair of sunglasses because truthfully she didn’t want to be seen with Harry. She didn’t want the whole world knowing her or her business, it wasn’t who she was. No, not at all. So when they step off the plane and head to baggage claim after customs, she feels aware of her surroundings in a way she never has been. It reminds her of the way Jeff, Charlotte, and Mitch had conducted themselves in the bar that one time. Extremely alert. Watching people’s eye movements and considering whether they recognized her companion. She trails behind him a fair amount, three paces at least. Harry glances back every few moments, checking in to make sure she’s still with him as they move through the bustling airport.

They make it to baggage claim with no stops, but sadly Harry’s luggage seems to give him away. That or just his presence, he was a 6 foot tall and extremely broad man who gave off this energy that couldn’t help but turn eyes. And all it took was one of those eyes to recognize the fluff of hair, the olive-y skin, the peaking bird tattoos and colorful necklaces to alert the world of just where he was.

He doesn’t get stopped for any pictures, but she feels the number of eyes on him grow. She also watches as Harry doesn’t shrink from the growing attention. If anything, it simply makes him move quicker, but only slightly. He glances at her once to see her hood up and big green glasses covering up half her face. Rori has left his carrier and is covering the other half as she pushes a cart in front of her. He makes a nondescript nod and then sets off towards the exit, she follows behind easily.

By the time they’re in the car that was waiting to drive them to Harry’s villa, he’s gotten buzzed by Jeff just to check-in since a few photos have been uploaded of him at the airport. People were so fast. She shook her head in disbelief as she looked up Harry Styles on twitter and saw the scene she had just been apart of minutes ago on her screen now. She’s unrecognizable in the photos she happens to appear in and to everyone else she looks like another traveler instead of Harry’s companion or whatever she was to him. Instead of his friend.

Harry calls Jeff as they’re driven to his lovely sprawling home near Lake Como. He informs him they’re fine - he is quick to ensure that Y/N is well after asking her himself once they had gotten into the confines of the small car. She thinks it’s sweet especially because she was sure that Jeff really was more focused on Harry and his well-being since he was both his friend and his client while she was just an extra. The two men talk about the flight and customs and what Jeff will be doing with his holiday since he had turned down Harry’s invitation to come out to Italy as well. This leaves her to stare out the window at the passing scenery. She and Rori are completely content with this as they watch the tranquil life around them as they pass by little forests and towns over cobblestoned ground.

The colors seem brighter throughout Italy compared to the sad and gloomy winter of London. The dreary scape traded for something far more picturesque. Italy growing ever more beautiful the closer they drive to Harry’s home. Everything was so radiant, from the sun shining above her head to the little dew drops still pooled on the perfectly green leaves of plants she knew not the names of.

The car pulls up to the long driveway to Harry’s place which he insisted was just a house, but she knew better. The driveway felt like half a mile of perfect cobblestones, seemingly handpicked to make the smoothest drive. Outside the house sat a gorgeous little convertible that was in between steel and cream and sparkled in the sun. The top was currently up, but she could tell the interior was just as nice as the exterior. Harry had a thing for cars and she suspected that no matter where he was, he managed to keep his cars in perfect condition.

The house was breathtaking due to its simultaneous simplicity and intricacy. It’s coloring was variations of cream and gold and some terra cotta. But it sprawled into the hillside behind it and wrapped around the nature to the side of it and the pool to the back right of it. There also was a little separate shed like thing that also seemed to be a residence. Harry insisted it was just an extra bedroom, but it looked like almost another house to her.

As she stepped out of the car, she thought that she might get lost in that house if she was left to wander around it by herself. A feeling she feared to get accustomed to.

The door of the house was a dark green that seemed oddly familiar to her as she walked through it. And when Harry looked back to make sure she had gotten in the house alright she recognized it. His door somehow matched the color of his eyes in dark lighting. A green that was timeless and ancient at the same time. A green that was unnerving yet inviting. A green that was Harry. She never thought she had a favorite color, but in that moment she was sure it was his eyes.

Harry calls her name and she realizes he’s been saying it for awhile.

“Sorry?”

He smiles fondly at her confused face and leans towards her as if he might kiss her. She stops breathing in that moment, wanting more than anything for that to be his next move. His chest brushes against hers, his warmth invading her space. His face is a mere milimeter from hers and she can count every speck of stubble on his jaw. But his lips don’t brush gently over hers in a way that she knew was addicting. Instead, his strong hand reaches past her and shuts the entrancing green door gently.

His eyes flicker back to her face when he pulls back, taking a single step backwards to allow for a comfortable space between them. Still close, but not like he’s about to embrace her expecting frame and kiss her.

“I asked if you wanted a tour of the house? Or if you just wanted me to pick your room.” His eyes are crinkled at the corner, a smile on his face even though his mouth is hung open in a lingering question.

She blinks her eyes and twitches her head to glance around the rest of her surroundings. Rori had run off the moment they had gotten in the door. The hallway Harry and she found themselves was narrow and simple, a single painting right behind Harry’s head was the sole decoration and a tapestry style rug beneath their feet. She nods after a moment, feeling all her words caught somewhere in her throat for no reason at all.

“Good,” he nods and gives her a funny look, trying to understand her quiet demeanor. “Just drop your stuff here for now,” he adds.

His hand encircles her wrist, as it had grown accustomed to, to lead her through the house. She bites her lower lip to muffle the little giggle that somehow escapes her as he tugs her playfully down and through the house.

He goes on about almost every piece of art and trinket he has hung and placed throughout the house. Each thing has its story and Harry waxes eloquent on every single one. He shows her each room in the house and then leads her outside through the single door of the master bedroom on the second floor. The door takes them onto a small balcony that overlooks the center of the estate which included the pool and then a garden to the left of the converted poolhouse - what Harry insisted it be called when Y/N had told him it was a mini house.

His hand has traveled down to intertwine with hers as the tour had drawn on. So as he leads her down the little spiral staircase to the ground floor, she hums at the warmth his thumb rubs into her skin ever so softly. His eyes flicker to her face and hold her gaze for a moment as he watches her descend the last two stairs.

She smiles at him, her cheeks rosy from the air outside. They walk between the garden and the pool to reach the “converted pool house” and she stops for a moment to dance her fingers through the perfectly clean pool water - he must have had a housekeeper who came by recently to open everything up and clean it all.

“This is truly amazing, Harry,” she sighs as she stares out at the entire house from the single stone upstep to the little cottage. It gave her a view of the entire place besides the front of the house. It was gorgeous.

Harry nods, tucking his head to his chest slightly, possibly feeling a little bashful. Behind the successful man that stood before her was a young boy with a dream that had made this possible and he never forgot that.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely and unlocks the door of the cottage, a similar green is painted on this door as well.

She goes ahead of him at his request and he watches her fingers on the green paint, caressing it softly, each finger never wishing to leave it as they slowly depart its surface. This place is just a microcosm of the house they had just been. A kitchenette, a living area, a bedroom, and a full bath - including a freestanding tub.

She all but runs around the place, fingers running over the countless spines of books that Harry mindlessly chose to store there in ceiling high bookshelves and eyes taking in prints of personal photography he had been too nervous to store anywhere but here. There were larger poster sized prints as well as smaller ones, all black and white, of different scenes on the walls of the living area. Some were portraits of loved ones, others were landscapes of cities and countryside alike, and some were of past lovers with their hair swept behind them as they looked back at Harry in some beautiful place. She smiled at these obviously film photographs and turned to Harry after a moment, almost mirroring the people in the more personal pictures.

“When’s the last time you used your camera?” She asks.

Harry’s figure is perched in the door, his body slightly slumped on the frame while he rolls his lower lip between his thumb and forefinger. He hums, thinking back to the last time he took out his camera.

“Last tour...I think. I got film back with Camille in it and I just didn’t feel like putting more in it after that,” he rasps out and clears his throat at the end, clearly unnerved by the topic.

“Well, these are beautiful, you have a smart eye for catching precious moments,” she smiles softly, understanding Harry’s apprehension.

“Thanks,” his voice still a bit deeper than usual, “I still use my Super8 pretty regularly when I’m doing things for work. Like when I shoot music videos, I usually bring it along to get my own footage for later.”

She only nods and watches him enter the room, moving closer to her to gaze at the images more up close as well.

“I like to have something to remember it by. Just in case, someday,” he starts and sighs, eyes trained on the wall of memories, “My mind isn’t what it once was.”

She watches him delicately place his hand on the couch behind them to brace himself and she notices the slight fear in his face as he says it. She blinks at the scene in front of her. A man in an amazing moment in his life fearful that it might all disappear from his vision someday. A horrible thought that seems to plague him more often than one would expect.

She nudges closer to him immediately. Her shoulder brushes his arm as she presses her head to his own shoulder and stays there firmly.

“Thank you,” she whispers and his head drops down to look at her face now radiating warmth against him. “For sharing this with me.”

His hand on the couch moves to wrap around her shoulders and pull her closer. Instinctively, she wraps her arms around his waist and he rests his head atop of hers. He stays silent but places a chaste kiss in her hair. She squeezes harder, telling him everything is alright and all he had to be with her was himself.

He switches his gaze between the girl wrapped up in him and the pictures of the rest of his life in front of him and he takes it all in. He feels safe, a comfort he was hard pressed to find with his life always on the move. The bustling change felt eons away while he was wrapped up in her. She was constant and kind. Understanding. She took him as he was, no expectations. That realization has him melting further into her, his head dropping down to her shoulder and nosing into her hair. His hands cusping at the back of her neck and the small of her back. And he presses firmly yet gently.

They stand there, swaying slightly to an unknown tune that played only in their private world of just them two.

A branch sways too and breaks them out of their reverie when it taps against the French doors that lead out to somewhere else in Harry’s estate.

“I think I’d like to stay here, if that’s alright,” she says, pulling back from him only slightly.

His hands migrate from their embrace around her back and neck and slide to her hip and her shoulder separately. Her hands both rest on his chest and she feels his consistent heartbeat that she had been listening to for the last few minutes against her ear.

His eyes sparkle at her suggestion. “Really? There’s plenty of spots in the main house,” he rushes.

“No, I love this place,” she glances around once more, soaking in the cozy room that housed Harry’s art. “Plus, your family will be here tomorrow and you should all be together under one roof for the holidays. I know how rare that can be.”

He nods in agreement and twists a tendril of her hair around one of his fingers slowly. She doesn’t notice until he makes an experimental and playful tug on it. Her lips purse at the feeling and her eyes narrow.

“You’re an evil little thing under all those layers of niceties and kind words, Mr. Styles,” she says as she pulls away from him.

Now that it was decided on where she would be staying for the next few weeks, she wanted to get her things settled and take a shower possibly. She also needed to check in on Rori and see what he had gotten up to while they had been wandering.

Harry laughs, filled with an unmatched glee as he follows her out of the cottage and back into the main house, “I can show you evil if that’s what you want, dove. I’ll give you anything you want.”

And while she knows he’s saying this in jest, she knows he’s also telling the truth. He’d give her just about anything she wanted, all she had to do was ask.

-

After settling the house a bit, finding where Rori wanted to sleep - he chose inside the main house, and some showers, she and Harry both felt refreshed.

She walked out of the front door of the cottage and crossed to the French doors at the middle point of the house. They had them open to get fresh air in the house and she walked right through and into the kitchen where she found Harry and her dog happily perched on the countertop.

Rori batted at Harry’s hands and nuzzled into his scratches as Harry cradled him to his chest. It was criminally sweet and she knocked on the door frame to pull Harry’s attention away from her furry friend.

“You look nice,” Harry smiles.

She glances down at her outfit; a cashmere olive colored sweater and high waisted cream corduroys along with her sneakers of choice. She thought it was casual, but she appreciated the compliment nonetheless. She murmurs a thanks and a quick “you too”, she didn’t even need to look at what he was wearing, he always looked good. Her head tilts to rest on the door frame as well, her eyes trained on Harry’s face.

“Do you want to go for a drive?” He inquires as he places Rori back on the ground.

The dog scampers to her side for a moment before running off to do his own thing. Her lips quirk up on the sides and her eyes narrow slightly. He’s looking at her with a quiet confidence set in his jaw that she doesn’t quite understand.

His smile makes her bite her lip, slightly unnerved by the energy he was giving off. Maybe it was because they were completely alone - not something new to them since that’s how they interacted almost solely, but something about being in Italy seemed to have shifted the dynamic. Something in the water or whatever that saying was.

“Do I get to drive?” She stands from her leaning position and crosses in front of him.

His laugh comes out quickly and heartily. “No chance, dove.”

She groans and pushes at his shoulder.

“Trust me, you’ll like it better. Can just enjoy the scenery, don’t have to focus on the road.”

He wraps a hand around her waist and then scoots her towards the door that would lead them out of the house. She giggles at the contact and she feels him watching her. It felt nice, felt simply theirs.

He drove her down the driveway and onto a country road until it merged into a road by the lake. He brought the top down so the wind rushed around them, blustering about as he drove at a quick yet somehow leisurely pace. She glanced at the scenery and took a few pictures, but something else kept demanding her attention.

Harry. He was a quiet kind of handsome in this moment. It wasn’t in your face, it was just how each curve of his skin seemed perfectly placed. Every pore was clear and every mole had a reason. His tattoos peeking from his collar and shirt sleeves were that perfect inky black that remained smooth. It was consistent, the way his hair fell over his forehead and he would smooth it back without even thinking. His eyes were focused and bright, yet slightly stormier than normal. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. And she wondered what she had done to be beside him at that moment. Wondered what it was that she had done to be cared for by Harry.

His hand on her leg brings her out of her mind once again. His looks always seemed to get her lost in thought. He was just that special. No one else had ever caused any similar reaction. His fingers splay on her thigh, no rings on them today. He rubs his thumb back and forth softly and she leans closer to him to whisper in his ear. They were completely alone, but it felt like something even the wind didn’t deserve to hear.

He tilts his head to her, eyes flickering to her movement for a moment and then back to the road. His hand on her thigh slips upwards with how she moves.

“I’m the most lucky girl in the world,” she says, her lips brushing the shell of his ear as she says the words.

She pulls back and stares at him, her hand going down to her thigh to play with his lovingly. He looks at her again and sees her serious expression. This causes him to pull over on the side of the road by the water. He rubs at her thigh again with his thumb and she shifts in her seat.

“And why’s that?” His voice low as he asks and shifts the car into park.

“Because I’m here, with you. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything in this world.”

He hums in response and licks at his lips when her sweater happens to fall off her shoulder. She notices the slip, but doesn’t bother to fix it since she also saw how Harry’s eyes danced over the newly exposed skin.

“I wouldn’t trade this either” the words dance slowly off the tip of his tongue. His accent fuller as he says the last word. “Let’s walk around,” Harry suggests when he sees her eyes flicker between his and his lips.

They explore the grassy area that lives just before the dip of the water at Harry’s request. He guides her along with his hand entwined with hers. Her eyes stay on only him still, the scenery unable to compare to the beauty of him that she was just fully realizing how bad she wanted to be enveloped in. His profile is illuminated by the sun shining above them and she swears he’s sparkling under the light.

The fear of what they were and all of the things that came along with labels were the furthest away thoughts. The man who had been the quirky neighbour had transformed into the man she was pretty sure she was in love with. Too afraid to say those three words, she decided the best thing she could do was to show rather than tell.

“Harry,” she calls and he stops his wandering, turning to face her instead.

A hand reaches up to trace over his strong cheekbone and caresses down the side of his face and cradles his slightly stubbled jaw. Her thumb rubs over the place where his dimple often showed up. He sighs into her touch and says her name back. His voice fails him as he gazes down at her, everything he means to say dies in his throat, for once at a loss for words.

She purses her lips and reaches up to connect their lips, having missed his sweet lips touch. They were meant to press against hers. Harry seems to forget how to breathe, her initiating the kiss between them, something foreign to him, but not unwelcome. He leans down to make it easier on her and she glows in his reciprocation. His hand shifts to cradle the back of her head as the kiss continues. Their lips dance, brushing back and forth, tongues slightly licking into one another’s mouths ever so delicately, playfully even.

A specific clash of teeth as the kiss continues leads to a breathless laugh from her as Harry presses himself closer to her. His other hand pressing her waist safely into him. She happily obliges, sinking one hand to rest over his backside which makes him smile.

“Naughty,” he mumbles against her brightening lips, eyebrows bobbing over his closed eyes.

She laughs now, her head tilting up for a moment, eyes opening to look at his face, yet up so close it's just his eyes and upper cheeks. His eyes are extra large from this angle and the grey green they had been dancing between had merged into a darkening seafoam green that was rather rare for them. She wanted to take an inventory of every color his eyes managed to be, but she was sure the list would never end.

“You like it,” she quips back, a peck sneaked at the corner of his mouth. That little love touch leads to more minutes of making out. Her supple and soft chest against his strong one, hands roaming the other’s body searching for purchase. Soft sighs and gentle moans leave Harry’s mouth when she nibbles at his ear and leaves loving kisses to his neck and collarbone. She makes similar sounds when he laves his tongue over the hollow of her neck and mouths happily on her neck.

The sight of them is two lovers enthralled in each other’s mouths and bodies in a meadow beside a lake. The sounds of nature are only overtaken by their happiness with each other.

When he ruts his hips against her body and she writhes against him with eagerness previously not seen, Harry realizes just how in public they are and he pulls away. A whine of discontent falling from her lips before she can control herself.

“We should…” He falters again, staring down at his neighbour he had begun to want more than anything else in the world, “Should head back.”

“Right,” she nods curtly.

Hands falling back to her sides, but Harry grabs one of them and intertwine their fingers as they had them before. She smiles so wide her eyes crinkle at the corners and he can’t help himself to peck at the left side of her temple.

They drive back to the house and Harry suggests a dip in the pool which Y/N agrees to easily. Something to cool them off from the heavy makeout session they had partaken in down by the water.

“Everyone else is arriving tomorrow,” Harry says after he surfaces from his expert dive into the deep end. He treads water lightly and drifts towards her.

She’s floating on her back a little ways from him. Her hair was shimmery all wet again and the  skin of her face glowed with tiny droplets. Her eyes were closed as she moved her hands back and forth through the comfortable water.

She feels his eyes on her, burning into her, waiting for a response. She peaks open one eye and looks at him. His cheeks pinken quickly from the slight embarrassment of being caught, but he doesn’t look away.

“It’s going to be really fun, Harry,” she rights herself and swims closer to him causing him to smile happily. “I’m really happy to be here.”

“It won’t be just us anymore,” he says, swimming backwards and creating a slight chase for her as she follows after him.

She narrows her eyes at his tactics, but still follows as he swims to the edge of the pool where they could both stand.

“Nope, but we’re gonna really get the holiday spirit flowing. Family dinners and games, shopping for gifts...this really is one of my favorite times of the season,” she smiles back at him and puts her hand against the edge of the pool, her chest emerging from beneath the cooling water.

Droplets roll down her chest, racing down her body and in between her cleavage. Harry’s eyes follow the water droplets disappearing beneath her bright red tied bikini top. He gets distracted when the air pebbles her nippls beneath the thin wet fabric, his tongue darts out to wet his lips at the sight. The round of her breast was especially full in the thin fabric. He had never seen this much of her despite their friendship lasting for many months now. It was...mouthwatering and his eyes stayed trained on her breasts as they rhythmically moved up and down with her breathing. It was like a spell.

That he was brought out of when a splash of water flicks at his face. She gives him an obvious look saying she had caught him staring and then she rolls her eyes at his smirk obviously not embarrassed by his latest fixation.

“We won’t be alone like this,” he steps closer to her, his own chest running with water droplets. His hair messy and wet atop his head as he pushes it off his forehead. “Possibly at all for the next three weeks,” he continues and hears her breath catch as he moves even closer. His body hovers a moment away from hers as he stares down at her. His nose almost brushes hers as he starts to lean down. She stays almost completely still. Her head moves though to allow Harry access to where his mouth seems to be headed, the side of her neck.

“After today,” he whispers before smudging an open mouthed kiss just below her ear.

A small gasp escapes her at his hot breath and a searing kiss against her chilled skin. She feels his smirk on her skin as he continues down her neck, leaving spongy eager kisses down the column.

“Well, I don’t think that’s a problem,” she tries to remain composure, feeling the burn inside of her pitch back up. The fire had dulled from the kissing by the lake once they had swam, but here he was pressing into her once again. Suddenly more eager and forward than he had ever been. Her breathing is hard to regulate with his expert hands running along her naked sides below the water and his legs backing her into the edge of the pool while his lips make love to her neck.

“Oh?” Harry hums, moving a hand up to fiddle with a strap of her top, the wet nylon twisting easily and then he lets it snap back softly. Her arousal only grows from the tiny smack. “Not a problem, eh?” His lips travel down between her breasts and she gasps in anticipation.

“Won’t be able to make you feel this good anytime you want,” he breathes and then ghosts over her covered pebbled nipple.

“You’re a tease, Harry,” she grips at his shoulders that are hunched to allow him to kiss on her. Her eyes having the perfect view of his curved neck and spine, the skin an expanse of clear perfect flesh, no tattoos in sight from this angle. The little curls at the nape of his neck trickling with spare droplets as he sucks on her own skin.

“Hmm…” his lips travel back up to the underside of her jaw causing her to tilt her head back and her stimulated chest to press into Harry’s. A chuckle passes against her skin as he feels her two points press into him.

Then, suddenly, he pulls back and grips at the back of her head to make her look at him. His eyes are deep and dark as the day starts to wear on, the sun beginning to set off in the distance.

“Maybe I need to demonstrate just what you’ll be missing out on?” He tilts his head at his suggestion and the glimmer in his eyes shows that he knows exactly what he has to say to get his friend - and soon to be lover - riled up.

Her chest heaves once, longing for the warm touch of Harry’s lips again. “What are you getting at?”

“Wanna make you feel so good you’re begging me to call my family up and tell them to not bother coming because we won’t be leaving your bed for the next few weeks.”

A breathless laugh leaves her, in disbelief, but also in wanton need. Her desire for him grew tenfold in the last ten minutes. His last sentence leaves her itching with longing. For his touch as he promised it.

“Give me the best you got then,” she challenges, her conviction never wavering despite her needy state.

That little sentence is what sets Harry’s eyes ablaze and has him gripping her waist and picking her up and setting her on the edge of the pool.

A quick press of his lips against hers and a “wait here” before he’s pulling himself from the water and shuffling to grab one of the towels he had laid out. She watches him curiously, confused why he had just promised to ravage her but was pausing to towel off.

He comes back with the towel and lays it behind her.

“Harry, what are -”

A finger presses to her swollen lips as his other hand goes to her shoulder and lays her back.

“Do you trust me?” He asks.

She nods, eyes wide and glassy as she stares up at him kneeling over her, his body between her bent knees. He leans down to press another kiss to her lips and then begins his decent.

“Gonna make you feel so fucking good, sweetheart,” he whispers.

Down her throat that he had happily been sucking on. His lips ghost over her still hard nipples and his hot breath has her arching off the ground immediately. A whine leaving her lips when he mouths between her two breasts in the valley just above the tie of suit. His fingers dance around on her skin, playing with her swimsuit fabric and she wants to scream at him to just untie it and really touch her, but she refrains. He continues his assault down her body. His hands grip at her knees when his lips travel below her navel. Her breaths have grown more strained as he’s gotten closer and closer to her heat. The cold wet fabric that covered her was a poor substitute to what she wanted to rub against her.

“Please,” she begs in a sigh as Harry’s lips skip where she wants him, instead traveling to her upper inner thigh.

He spreads her legs wider with his arms and her back arches further, her body just about fully on display for Harry. His eyes flicker up to her face that was staring right back down at him, watching his every move.

The cheeky bottoms left little to the imagination and the ties on the sides were so enticing Harry’s fingers smoothed up her thighs and began to toy with them. His face now hovering over her clothed center. His breath fanning the flames of her arousal just below the cherry fabric.

“See,” he smirks, eyes back on her face, “I haven’t even touched you yet, but you’re already begging.

“You’re an ass,” she grits out, trying to not be bothered by how easily he has gotten her in this position.

He clicks his tongue and tugs experimentally at one of the bottoms ties, “S’not a very nice thing to say to the man who’s about to stick his tongue in ya’?”

She gasps and slaps at his right shoulder at his crudeness. “You’re dirty!”

“And you’re wet,” he says confidently, smirking up from between her legs.

His fingers finally tug the ties undone and pull the fabric away from her center. The red bikini bottom falls limply to the ground and Harry’s eyes train on her glistening mound. Wet with the pool water as well as her arousal. To add to the cool air ghosting over her newly exposed skin, Harry blows his own breath over her. She writhes at the sensation, she bites at her lip to hold back any possible moans.

He glances at her face again and settles one arm to be wrapped around her leg and pressing down on her left hip. His other hand snakes between his face and her body and lightly drags between her folds. She bucks her body again, completely in need of some friction after all of the build up and teasing of today. Every nerve down there was electrified at the possibility of Harry finally touching her like this.

His finger pulls back and a string of arousal clings to him, a testament to the filthy thoughts she had about her neighbour. Thoughts she had pushed away for so long until recently. Thoughts she only indulged in in the dead of night, when she was exhausted but her mind insisted on wandering to the green sharp eyes that might stare at her if he ever were to delve into her depths. Her hands would travel to where he was now and rub out a triumphant shake of her thighs and heaving chest all in hopes that maybe he would bring her to that euphoria himself one day. Well that day was today.

He filthily takes that finger into his mouth and grins.  “So wet,” he corrects.

His eyes disappear from view as he launches into his work. His drying curls flop over his forehead and tickle at her lower stomach slightly. He flattens his tongue and licks a strong stripe between her folds. The wet from her weeping hole spreads to her lips and around her clit as his finishes the lick with a little swirl. He uses his free hand to spread apart her lips a little more and takes the new angle to suck on the little puffy nub that is already throbbing. She gasps audibly when he pulls off of it with a squelching sound.

“Fuck,” he sighs and goes back to eating her out, happily pressing his tongue into her.

His hand on her hip travels to grope at one of her breasts and he deftly pulls at the top’s tie and grips onto her skin underneath the fabric. The strong grip mixed with his expert work between her thighs has her moaning loudly and her body writhing as he builds her up.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he rasps, thumb on her nipple flicking happily back and forth. “Scream it out,” he says into her quivering center, “Nobody around to hear you, be as loud as you want.”

She moans louder at his words, her hands gripping harder into his hair. The thought of this scene turns her on even more. In all honesty, if someone did hear them she’d kind of like it. If someone walked in and saw her stretched out next to the pool with their wet bodies writhing against each other in pleasure. Harry’s head buried between her thighs making her feel better than she ever has, her breasts falling out of their top as he massages them harshly.

“Taste so sweet,” he groans, lapping at her tight hole, the muscle contracting against his tongue’s invasion.

She liked how messy he got with it, not that she really had much coherent thoughts in this moment. But his hot tongue swiping up and down and back and forth over her glistening lips and sucking on her clit left her breathless. Her juices and his saliva were making a mess of her thighs and the towel below her. When Harry felt her getting closer he’d back off and pay attention to another part of her and then go back to sucking and nipping perfectly into her.

She was eventually stuttering out, “I’m going to cum, Harry.” Breathing becoming uneven as she was about to tip over the edge. He nods, sucking harder at her clit one last time before taking his tongue and pushing it in and out of her hole, one of his thumbs traveling to rub over her clit in quick succession.  

“Cum for me, dove,” he mumbles quickly before going back to making her feel good.

She grips her own nipple now with one hand and Harry’s hair with the other, her hips pushing up into Harry’s face over and over again. And then she’s hitting her climax and tipping over the edge, a moan ripping from her throat and freezing on her face as Harry eats her out through it. His tongue licking over her quivering pussy. His thumb rubbing comforting circles around her clit until she stopped shaking. Her breathing slowing down, eyes fluttering open eventually. They lazily stare at the man below her who’s lips and chin are slick with her juices as he grins up at her.

“Do you want me to call my mum now or wait until you’re fully back on earth,” he says slyly and kisses the inside of her thigh once more. Eyes lovingly staying on her pleasured out face.

“Seriously talking about your mom while you’re still between my thighs,” she breathes out, completely in disbelief. Harry and her had never gone that far before and it was life changing. He had been right, even if she didn’t want to admit it, she wasn’t sure if she could go three weeks without that again.

He sits up and begins to gently pull back on her swim bottoms and tie them back up. She lays there watching him work.

“How about now?” He asks with a smirk, moving to sit beside her and help her sit up when her bottoms have been readjusted. The fabric against her newly sensitive area was definitely interesting, but she couldn’t care with Harry beside her. She ties off her top on her own, even though Harry gestured that he could do it.

“Shut up,” she laughs and takes a hand to caress at his cheek.

He nuzzles into her touch.

“You forget I’m staying in the cottage...separate from everyone else,” she winks at him.

“Think they’ll still be able to hear ya’ from in there, dove. You’re a loud one,” he bites the inside of his cheek as he teases her.

She huffs and drops her hand, “I was gonna return the favor, but now I don’t think so.”

It’s Harry’s turn to laugh and reach out to her face, he pulls her face close to his, bringing her eyes level with his. “I’m just teasing. Plus, you don’t need to return the favor, I’ve been wanting to do that for ages.”

A laugh bubbles from her lips at the thought of Harry wanting her as much as she wanted him and she pecks at his lips. She grimaces only a little, tasting herself on him still.

“We’ll just have to be sneaky,” she pulls back and rests her forehead against his.

“Yeah,” Harry breaths out. His breath hitches when he feels her hand begin to trail down his chest and fiddle with the hem of his shorts. Her eyes are trained on his, expressionless like she wasn’t beginning to palm his hardened length over his sticky swim shorts.

“I told you,” he musters, “You don’t have to.”

“But,” she rasps, finally. “I want to,” she licks her lips with determination, “Want to make you feel good, too.”

He hums as her soft fingers go back up to the hem of his shorts and he helps her pull them down as he gives a nod of approval to her watching eyes.

Her eyes widen when his length is finally revealed and its bright red tip stands tall and strong against Harry’s stomach, placing itself slightly just below one of the ferns. Harry watches her lick at her hand and then places it between his thighs, her body positioned right next to him. On her knees, she makes an experimental first pump, seeing how his body responded. Her eyes mainly watch his face and an open mouthed smirk twitches onto his face when he notices her gaze. She pumps him again, twisting her wrist this time and swiping at the precum leaking from his tip. A groan leaves Harry’s mouth at that and his stomach flexes, the skin beneath his many tattoos hardening.

“Feel good?” She inquires.

“Great,” he breathes out as she leans forward on her knees and attaches her mouth over his head.

She slowly moves her head down and attempts to fit his entire length into her mouth, but despite her best efforts, she can’t quite get her throat to open up for his entirety yet. After holding him there for a moment, his head scratching at the back of her throat, she pulls off. Heaving a sigh and continuing to work him with her hand, her now glassy eyes look at him. Saliva gathers at her mouth and Harry can’t help himself but reach one of his hands from behind him to her lips. He swipes at it and presses the wet to her lips which she sucks at eagerly, a whine hidden beneath the action.

When his hand pulls away she says, “You’re quite girthy.”

“Girthy?” He sputters, both at the funny comment but also that she’s said it while still jacking him off.

“Mhmm,” she nods seriously, “Couldn’t get you all in.”

“That’s alright,” he starts, but falters on a specifically masterful tug. She grins, knowing what she's doing to him. “You seem to excel, no matter the setbacks.”

“I’ll get it eventually,” she begins to speed up her strokes, “Just need a bit of practice.”

Then her lips are pressing back onto Harry’s prick. She sucks solely at his head and Harry moans out as he gets more sensitive. Then she slides down further and bops her head vigorously. She wants Harry to come undone for her just like she had for him. Make him feel like she had moments ago. And within a few more minutes of enthusiastic sucking and pumping of her hands, even some fondling of his balls which Harry had been extremely receptive to, she has him stuttering beneath her.

One hand gripping at her hair, while the other keeps him upright, Harry’s head is thrown back on his shoulders as he tries to keep his eyes open and trained on the girl taking him so well down her lovely little throat.

“I’m almost there, sweetheart,” he pants, his hips bucking up once as he begins to lose control.

This only spurs her forward, spit drooling down his cock every time she pulls back from his slightly. Her ass is high in the air now as she arches over his length, trying to get him to unload.

“Taking me so well,” Harry praises. “Fuck,” he exclaims at another squeeze of his balls.

She swirls her tongue around his runny head and then hollows her cheeks and sucks on him with everything she’s got. This has Harry cursing and repeating her name, his load spurting into her mouth as she stays still. His chest now covered in beads of sweat as he tries to catch his breath after tipping over the edge himself. His eyes are trained on her. She keeps her lips diligently around his cock, wanting to swallow everything he’s just expended. When he’s done, she pulls back and sits on her legs, swallowing quickly and staring at Harry as she does it.

His eyes bug at the sight. She was the hottest woman in the world and she’d just sucked him off so well that he’s pretty sure he saw stars. Then she made eye contact as she swallowed his cum with her pretty little bikini barely covering her anymore, as she seemed to shift slightly uncomfortable in her drying bottoms. God, he was fucked.

“Shit,” he says, still trying to catch his breath. “You’re an absolute angel.”

-

Harry’s family arrives the next day and the pair have a hard time keeping their hands off of each other. She doesn’t know why they decide to start this little game where they pretend like they don’t want to jump each other’s bones each minute of the day. But as the days go by, they maintain to his family and chosen family that they are only neighbours who became friends. Anne gives a knowing look to Gemma every so often and Gemma’s boyfriend whispers in her ear sometimes, but for the most part they buy it.

No one notices that some nights Harry’s or Y/N’s beds are vacant sometimes. They don’t see him descend his spiral staircase at midnight or see her scamper next to the pool and slip into her cottage in the wee hours of the morning.

In the nights, it’s Harry’s soft lips pressed against her hot skin, panting praise and leaving little bite marks that can’t be seen with clothes on. Her lips mouth at his shoulder when fills her up and she exhales a breath that feels like she’s been waiting to let go for her entire life. They make each other feel good and they don’t talk about it but the secrecy of it makes it all the more enticing.

At least that’s what she thinks. Harry had been completely ready to tell his family about him and Y/N, at least that things were new between them, but when she introduced herself to his mum and Gemma she had said she was a friend. Harry had gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing hard, taking in the change of direction and agreeing with Y/N immediately. “Just a friend” he confirmed with a nod of his head and glance at her. She had smiled wide and given a hug to the other most important women in his life like she’d known them forever.

He didn’t understand why she wanted it this way, but his objections would be forgotten when night fell and she’d do the things he’d only dreamt of. Her breathy whimpers and pliant body would all but wipe his mind of any other thoughts but her and then he had no complaints, just a wish for the night to never end.

Y/N doesn’t even tell Cate when she calls her a week into the trip. It’s just something she wants to keep to herself and Harry. Their own private world.

It’s Christmas Eve when that bubble pops. The Champagne has been flowing for hours non stop - well only stopping when a different drink is in their hands, whether that be red or white wine or a mixed drink Harry has decided to concoct.

In the big Italian house, he’s free of prying eyes and he’s able to truly spend quality time with his loved ones. They have fancy dinners at private restaurants, go on gorgeous hikes, swim, and relax. They have a good time with playing holiday games, which they do most nights when they stay in.

Tonight’s the first night that Harry and Y/N haven’t ended up on the same team. He fears that most times he cheats it by swapping a paper or two, but tonight the alcohol has fizzed his brain and he forgot. This shouldn’t be a problem, not really. Except that everyone in the house has learned over the past week and a half that besides being perfectly matched in almost everything else, Harry and her are both equally and extremely competitive. Being on the same team has both advantages and avoids squabbles like the one the house has found themselves in at half past 11.

Harry’s arguing that his team got the last question before the buzzer went off, but she won’t back down. She is sure that Gemma had said the correct answer, but after the timer had run out. Everyone else was too sauced to care, but Harry and her were adamant and passionate about game play. As the argument heats up, Anne gives Gemma another one of those looks.

Y/N has stood up and crossed the short distance to Harry. She’s a breath away from him and he puffs up his chest, his eyes dark and serious as he’s ready to fight for this win all night.

“The time was out,” she says simply, but her eyes are beginning to glower.

“No. It was not.” He states back.

His eyes narrow at her as she stares right back at him.

“Was too.”

“Was not.”

They go back and forth, rapid fire as the alcohol in their veins flows straight to their mind and hearts.

“Children please!” Gemma exclaims,  finally growing tired of the bickering. “It’s Christmas. Harry show some spirit and let your guest have the final say.”

They think she’s done but then adds, “Or else she might never want to come back here.”

Harry exhales harshly through his nose as his gaze flickers to his older sister and listens to her scolding. Handing over the timer to Y/N, which had been what kept them from moving on, he turns on his heel and walks out of the room.

“Oh gosh,” Y/N says after a moment, her frazzled mind processing that Harry’s leaving has something to do with her. A hand goes to her lips for a moment, a ghost of his warm breath still there, but gone too soon.

“I’ll...I’ll be right back,” she confirms and exits the room, following Harry’s footsteps.

She finds him on his front porch step, his breath misting in the cold air, much like it would back in London when they’d walk the neighbourhood streets together.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” she says, placing a hand on his left shoulder to really get his attention.

He turns from looking out at the clear night sky, his nose and cheeks already pinkened from the night breeze. His eyes are still dark out here, but there’s no malice or anger behind them. His lips tilt up on one side for a forgiving half smile, but there’s also some pain mixed in there.

“You wouldn’t not come back, right?” He asks helplessly, his smile faltering.

She swallows, taken aback by the question, both unsure of where it came from but also how exactly her drunk brain was supposed to respond with the double negatives.

“I’d come back next Christmas and the Christmas after that, Harry,” she whispers, “If you wanted me to of course.”

“Of course I’d want you to. I want you, sweetheart. All the time.” His voice isn’t slurred, but it’s raspy, a slight dry mouth from all the alcohol consumed tonight.

“Okay,” she confirms, “Then I’ll come back.”

They stand on the porch silently for a few minutes, eyes on one another, but no movement towards anything. It’s not a profound moment for their hazy minds, despite the meaning behind their words. It’s not quite clicking for them, but maybe tomorrow when they wake up with massive headaches it will register.

“I really am sorry,” she repeats when she sees little goosebumps begin to prick at his skin.

He had forgotten a jacket. And while his drunk blanket makes him immune to the feelings, her brain still registers that she doesn’t want him to get sick.

“S’alright. For what it’s worth, I was being a little childish. So, m’sorry too.” He says sincerely, maybe a little slurring of words slipping in.

He reaches a hand out of his pocket to touch at her upper arm. She can feel his warmth from beneath her thin long sleeve. They smile at one another and turn to reenter the house, feeling the giggly tide of alcohol wash over them again. Euphoria on their mind rather than family game malice.

Just as they’re about to open the door to the house. The two of them at the precipice of a house, a place they often find themselves, Gemma swings it open face and with little care for its heaviness. She glances between her brother and his “friend”  and then up to the top of the door.

The top of the door? Why was she looking at the top of the door? Mistletoe.

“Mistletoe!” Gemma exclaims, pointing between the two of them. “You’re beneath the mistletoe, go on!”

Harry shakes his head in protest, falling onto the sword of friendship again. But then Y/N is grabbing at the back of Harry’s neck and pressing her lips to his. It’s a little sloppy, but Harry can’t help but enjoy the taste of her against him. They slot together like they usually do, but this time his sister is watching them, which is a little odd, but his muddled mind quickly forgets that fact. Her tongue is the deciding factor as it licks into his mouth and he licks back, pulling her closer by the waist. They get lost in the kiss and only pull apart when they hear a cough.

Gemma is now accompanied by the rest of the household watching them in disbelief. Everyone’s eyebrows are raised and even Rori is standing with the group, confused that the humans didn’t know they were doing this.

“Erm…” Harry has no idea what to say, shifting to face his family more fully.

Y/N blushes and shrinks into Harry’s chest, feeling like a teenager caught in the closet with her crush.

“That’s not how friend’s kiss one another,” someone murmurs.

There’s a few “I knew it”s mixed in as well with the rest of the chatter.

“Well…” She finally musters and throws a hand out to her side in a ta-da motion,

“Happy Christmas!”

-

After the revelation on Christmas Eve, everyone won’t stop teasing Harry and Y/N. The two laugh it off but something always nags at the back of their head. What they were to the other person. The status of this relationship. This friendship that had taken a turn to something else entirely.

It’s another Eve of a holiday when Harry finally musters up the courage to ask her directly. They learned from Christmas day that they couldn’t drink as much as they once did for multiple reasons. So on New Year’s Eve, they both choose to only consume a couple glasses of Champagne.

It starts with “Can we talk about us?” right after midnight. Right after Harry’s just started the New Year with her lips on his. She hears his question and takes it in, her stomach twisting with nerves and possibly excitement as well, and nods.

They slink off to his bedroom, but not for the activity everyone else was certain they were engaging in.

He sits them on the edge of the bed, both her hands clasped in one of his. He’s been quiet all day, she just realizes as he stays silent another moment longer.

“I love you,” he says in his dimly lit room.

Her jaw drops slightly, not quite expecting those three words yet.

“You don’t, don’t have to say anything yet. I just wanted you to know that,” he continues. “And that I want to be with you.”

“Harry,” she starts, breathless at his words.

“No,” he stops her again, “I felt something draw me to you the day you moved in across from me on Sherwood, like I was meant to know you or something.  Then I met you and you made me feel so comfortable, all I wanted to do was be with you and that month when you didn’t really talk to me...dove, those weeks were wretched. But when I came back, it was like nothing happened and I was so happy because I couldn’t fathom life going back to the way it was before you. When we kissed, I felt overjoyed, I was so happy that you liked me like that because every time you called me friend...felt like a knife in me. I don’t want to be just your friend,” he pauses to say her name again, “I don’t want to be just your lover, I want to be your boyfriend or whatever they call it now - If you’ll have me.”

He takes a deep breath and blinks away the little well up of water that had grown in his eyes. He had forgotten to blink for a moment he realized.

His stare had been intense as he’d confessed all of his feelings to her, but she didn’t feel intimidated, his gaze had warmed her with its sincerity. It had strengthened his confession.

She sighed, her own eyes not as strong as his, unable to hold his gaze as she herself said her own confession.

His hand rests between them on the bed, steadying himself upright with it. She places her own hand over it and their fingers slightly intertwine. She feels him begin to fiddle with her fingers like usual. Like normal.

“Thank you,” she starts, “Of course I’ll have you. All the time, Harry.”  She repeats his words from Christmas Eve back to him.

He starts to interject, the rambling thing, but she tugs at his pointer finger and he takes it as a sign to be quiet.

“I want to be your partner, too. I want it all with you, lover,” she gazes at him now, his free hand reaching up to caress her cheek in that moment. “Want it all,” she repeats in a whisper before he’s kissing her again.

Kissing her and kissing her. Over and over again. Because she was his. And he was hers. And it was a happy beginning. A happy new year and a happy new beginning of a relationship that was bound in friendship, born out of proximity, and nurtured by two kindred souls.

And it all started with her parents making her take her dog. Harry really needed to thank that dog for being the best wing man to ever run around on four legs.

-

Who knows who that new client of Y/N’s might be...

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles series #I live in the neighbourhood #part 3 #neighbor!harry #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles story #idk what else to tag #pls leave feedback #lmk what you think #not proofread #lol

[seyaryminamoto]

Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

#zuko-always-lies #more zuko meta #and it got long #:'D #if anyone needs a read more #let me know and I'll add it #but for now #it is what it is #you know it really is sad to write all this when I'm more or less making peace with Zuko via Gladiator #and actually making him reason with soooo much stuff #that he never really had to in the show #*siiiiigh* #he'll never be my fav #that much is obvious #but he could be MORE #and it's sad that he's not #very sad

[twofrontteethstillcrooked]

3 Oct. Suptober: Rainbows

With his finger, Dean traced the outline of one of the rainbows arced on Cas's knee. "Is it weird that rainbows remind me of you?"

s15 au; deancas

In hindsight, Cas was preoccupied, not only by the task at hand but by the person he was undertaking it on behalf of, which was likely why he didn't realize he had company in the bunker kitchen until Sam said, "Hey, Cas," and Cas almost fumbled the glass into the sink. 

"Oof, sorry," Sam rushed to say next. 

His expression was a variety of things, none of which Cas clocked as fundamentally apologetic while he refilled the glass. 

Sam cleared his throat. "Whatcha doing?"

Cas squinted at him. Maybe Sam was drunk, or ill. "Just getting a drink of water." He left the statement there; Sam had seen him consume water before.

Sam fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt and did not look at Cas. "Sure. You." He made some kind of gesture with his hands that did not seem relevant to anything. "You seen Dean lately?"

"He's asleep," Cas offered, since he knew it to be correct.

"In his room?" Sam's voice cracked on the second word.

Cas drew out the word 'yes' into something of a question. What was Sam looking at on the ceiling anyway?

"His room. Which. You just left?" Sam bounced on the balls of his feet for a second.

Cas looked around for intruders, hex bags, strange fogs, spooky auras, blood stains, a bucket of empty beer cans -- something that might explain why Sam was speaking like someone who'd just learned English. 

"Yes, Dean's room." 

Cas suppressed a smile that wanted to surface as his thoughts quickly flitted to Dean -- Dean curled boneless beneath a body-warmed blanket, his eyelashes fanned dark against the tops of his freckled cheeks -- and back again. He sat the glass in the sink and stepped toward Sam carefully.

"Uh huh. Okay." Sam took a step backwards. His line of sight popped back up to the light fixture. "Wearing. ...What it is you're wearing?

Cas glanced down past his bare chest to the flannel covering his legs. "Pajamas?"

Sam nodded a series of tight little nods, like an invisible puppeteer controlling him was getting restless. "Okay. Okay. And Dean is." He didn't trail off as much as seem to run out of ideas for the rest of the sentence.

"Asleep," Cas reminded him. 

Another Sam nod. "Right." 

"He tends to fall asleep for a while within thirty or so minutes after we--"

"Dude," Sam said. 

Understanding clicked into place. "Ah. I apologize, Sam," Cas said, with a small sinking sensation in his stomach. "I did assume Dean had told you." 

He was leaving out some words, and he didn't mean to play coy; it just seemed like perhaps Sam would prefer fewer details over more with regards to -- how to say diplomatically? -- recent developments.

"Dean tell me? Really?" Sam stared at him directly for the first time the whole encounter. His pupils were big black dots reminiscent of the ones he'd had when they were all cartoons for a while.

"No." Cas paused. "But I did think maybe you just knew." 

An honest confession, since Sam, a skilled hunter with decades of experience beneath his proverbial belt, was often quite good at discerning patterns beneath the surface of verbal communication. Cas had not always been as certain of his own feelings as he was in the present. Indeed, it had taken years for what he felt for Dean -- unfamiliar, prismatic impulses occasionally strong enough to almost bring Cas to his knees -- to coagulate into something fierce and unshakeable that could in part be described in words, much less translatable to more tangible actions. Just because Cas had been slow to realize the depths of his own emotions didn't mean Sam had been.

Except.

Sam's eyebrows jumped into his hairline like worms fleeing chicken beaks. 

"What," he choked out. "Why. No. How would I have known about--" He was flinging his hands around again. "--This?" The hands flew toward Cas like Sam was casting a spell at him. "You are like my brother."

"Um," Cas said.

"And Dean is my brother."

"Uh--"

"And I have literally heard him refer to you as our brother."

"Right.”

"Like, we're all brothers here." Sam gave a helpless chuff of laughter.

"Okay."

"So you understand," Sam continued, "why I might be concerned that my two brothers are apparently sleeping together." The volume of his voice went lower in direct counter to its pitch by the end of the sentence.

Cas chose not to comment on this, nor on the shadow that lurked in the doorway and then dissipated. He said instead, "I don't really sleep all that much, but I take your point."

Sam buried his face in the palms of his hands. 

"I'm." Cas swallowed. He stood a bit taller, the way a soldier might when either respectfully yielding to an enemy or accepting that opponent's surrender -- not that Sam was a villain here. "I'm sorry you found out this way, Sam."

"It's." Sam took a deep breath, then coughed once. "You don't have to apologize."

"Sam, could you... There is nothing on the ceiling that could be that interesting."

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Sam spoke like he meant it, or at least wanted to mean it.

Cas let out an inward sigh of relief. "All right."

"The stress," Sam said. "What we do. Monsters. Apocalypses, plural. It's-- I know it's a lot." Now he had slipped into hunter wrangler mode, all rallying the troops and leftover law school pragmatism. "And I can see how the two of you might, you know, need to blow off some steam. Sometimes."

"Sam--"

"Dean always does get a little antsy when he goes a while without." Sam shook his head like he'd realized this was absolutely not a topic he wanted to think about. "You know."

"Sam," Cas said sharply.

"I'll stop talking now."

"I'm in love with your brother, Sam." Those truest words were spoken so easily that once upon a time it might have bothered Cas; in the present, it assuredly did not. He let Sam gape for a moment and then softened the statement with, "It's not just a casual, friends with insurance sort of thing for me. For the record. If that helps."

Sam looked like the human equivalent of the little tri-colored beachball that would spin and spin onscreen when one of his computer tablets got overwhelmed. Finally, his eyes cleared. "All right." His mouth quirked. "The phrase is 'friends with benefits.'" 

Cas blinked. "Insurance is often a benefit extended to citizens in the United States, isn't it?"

"Less often than's helpful," Sam said.

Cas nodded. The two of them stood there by the sink, not really looking at each other. A thought came to Cas.

"I love you too--"

"Dude," Sam said.

Cas held up a hand. "--But I'm not in love with you." This distinction was one that had taken him a long time to understand; it seemed worth sharing.

The ceiling had recaptured Sam's fascination, but he was smiling when he said, "I know." He clapped Cas on the shoulder. "I love you too."

Cas returned the smile. "You, and Dean, and Jack -- you are all my family."

"Yeah." Sam ducked his head, as if pleased. "Yeah, I know."

Cas picked the glass of water up out of the sink. He raised it to Sam in a small toast. "Okay. I'm going to go back to Dean's room now."

"'Night, Cas."

Cas padded back down the hallway, opened Dean's squeaky door, and crept inside the room. The bedside lamp had been turned on. He watched the blanketed lump in the middle of the mattress for movement before asking quietly, "How much of that did you hear?"

"Most of it." Dean sat up and yawned. He scratched at the side of his head where his hair was sticking out. The blanket puddled below his pelvis. Cas glanced away like he hadn't personally and enthusiastically pressed those hipbones into the mattress less than an hour before.

When Cas walked around and put a knee on the bed, Dean said, "I also wanted water."

Cas bumped his arm with the glass. "This is for you."

"Oh," Dean said, taking it from him. "Thanks."

"Because I don't drink all that much water."

"Right."

"Because I don't sweat as much as you do."

"Hmm. You sweat some," Dean said, a hint of slyness in his tone. He leaned away to leave the water glass on the bedside table.

Cas sat on the edge of the mattress and let Dean scoot up to him. "Are you bragging about making me sweat?"

"Mmm," Dean said, splaying his hand over Cas's clavicle. 

"You should probably talk to Sam in the morning."

"This is the morning."

"Later, then."

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's waist like he owned the span of it. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."

"Maybe you could just--

"Nooo." 

A sharpness tapped underneath Cas's ribcage, an angel blade's point pressed with deliberate aim. It took a minute before he could speak. He gathered his courage. "If you want to stop--"

"No." The word fell from Dean like Cas had knocked it out with his fist. His eyes were fever bright and anguished, and another, better ache flooded Cas's chest at the sight. "No."

"I am very much in love with you." Cas took a breath. "Sam's reaction, I know, wasn't entirely out of nowhere." 

Dean tipped his forehead to Cas's. "I don't think he was objecting so much as he was surprised--"

"I'm only saying, I have thought of you both as my brothers, at various times in the past." Cas studied, not for the first time, a collection of freckles on Dean's shoulder. "I still think of Sam as a brother, in a way. He may not be incorrect that the situation, as it has evolved, is something a bit… Atypical." He considered a further implication. "And each of us is one of Jack's dads."

Dean huffed, a bluff since his fingertips were memorizing Cas's vertebrae like he planned to sketch them later. "Well. We can't all be the goddamn Waltons, or whoever."

Cas agreed, "We definitely do not live on a farm." He let himself sway toward the ardent way Dean was looking at him. "It might be nice to live on a farm, with cows and ducks, maybe some sheep--"

"And I am very much in love with you too," Dean said softly. He pressed his lips to Cas's cheek.

"Yeah?" Cas's eyes felt hot.

"Yep."

Cas thought to say, "You know, Sam is exactly who you raised him to be: a good man."

At that, Dean squeezed his eyes shut. "New rule," he said hoarsely after several seconds. He wiped his eyes and shook his head. "We cannot talk about Sam, like. When we're not even dressed."

Cas stretched out his right leg and wiggled his foot. "I have on these pajamas pants. Can no-one else see them? They're covered in so many things."

This was an understatement. Technically, the pattern contained no less than the following items: rainbows, unicorns, blue whales, yellow stars, shield-wielding pugs, and anti-whale flags, whatever and why-ever those were. Put simply, the pajama pattern was like an indecipherable code of images that seemed to illustrate the illicit drug use of the manufacturer's designer.

With his finger, Dean traced the outline of one of the rainbows arced on Cas's knee. "Is it weird that rainbows remind me of you?"

Cas thumbed a spot on Dean's throat, his mouth going dry with the desire to taste the pulse fluttering there. "In my celestial wavelength form, I suppose I would be more closely related to a visually-deducible electromagnetic wave than I would be a pug riding a whale into glorious battle."

"These pajamas are a work of art," Dean contended, kissing Cas's temple. "Hmm."

"What?"

"I guess that story about God -- Chuck -- using a rainbow to seal a promise about never again destroying earth with a flood is just apocrypha, huh?"

Cas thought about it. "Yes. Unfortunately." He tried not to sigh. "Sometimes I have to remind myself Chuck created some beautiful wonders despite...being who he is."

"Yeah. Going out after a hard rain and seeing a rainbow's colors arching through the clouds -- still seems hopeful." Dean started pulling Cas down beside him on the mattress. "Maybe that's what reminds me of you."

Unable to speak, Cas tucked his face into Dean's throat. 

Dean's fingers were slipping beneath the waistband of the pajamas, ever so slowly. "Anyway, these are mine." Cas hummed an affirmative. "I would like them back," Dean said.

"Now?" Cas heard himself gasp.

Dean pressed him onto his back to nose his way down the line of Cas's breastbone, his warm breath teasing over cooled skin and coaxing out a shiver Cas felt splintering through his whole body. 

"I would settle for you just not having them on at the moment," Dean said, using both hands to reclaim his property, and before raising up to kiss anything Cas might have wanted to say in response entirely out of his mouth.

#spn #suptober21 #fic #deancas #suptober #destiel

[itsmaddienotmaddy]

Okay OOF. When the GALS decide to play like that, I’ll bite and give my unsolicited thoughts.

USA V SOUTH KOREA

AD - called upon once? Twice? Did the job. I’m grateful for it, it’s kinda fun to see her as the number one (though it happening because Alyssa is hurt is less fun)

Becky - god. Can the planets align and can she get a GOAL?? I don’t think one single human would complain. She had a great game. Her foot skills were on display, her slide tackles were on point, her positioning and passes were up to par. She was basically the only ‘old’ player who showed up without a quality dip. That’s my Captain.

Tierna - starting spot seems to be hers to keep and she’s absolutely earned it. Pretty much every dangerous Korea opportunity was thwarted directly by Baby T or she held it up enough to give time for another defender to come in. That Becky and T partnership is the calm, cerebral pair we’ve been waiting for.

Casey - did great! If ya can’t have Crystal, I’ll take Casey everyday. She got up a lot offensively and any 1 v 1 battle she was challenged with, she won.

Kelley - had ebbs and flows all game. She was pretty Yikes the first fifteen minutes and was on the wrong side of her mark more than a few times. But to her credit, she settled in and was creating a lot of options with her movement, whipped in some good crosses, and held it down. Her fitness was definitely a plus as well.

Emily Fox - she clearly runs the show in Louisville and that obviously isn’t the case yet at the international level. She’s still working on chemistry with the team so there was some missed passes and positioning. But there wasn’t a clear change in quality when she was subbed on, she fits the group and there’s more of her to see for sure.

Cat - I’m starting with her because despite being super young, I feel like she’s seasoned already. I understand her only playing one half because she was coming back from France. So with the 45 she had, she was getting back defensively and even with a snoozy first half, was definitely involved in any exciting moments. Her passing was beautiful. Her connection with Rose is developing nicely. It’s amazing the times the team passes to her when she’s in seemingly super difficult situations and they trust her to solve them. And more often than not, she DOES solve them.

Rose - whenever you get a full ninety from Rose, things feel right. She was the most creative in the game by far. Bummer to see her squander some opportunities by leaning back but that was literally every offensive player. She had some great headers and was running the field. She clearly builds chemistry with people quickly and is probably one of the only players that connects like that.

Kristie - I am here for any and all Kristie minutes. Got a good chuckle at her tangle in her own legs + the turf for a good ole face plant. As well as her consistent sassiness with the ref about fouls and time wasting. Never change Bitch. Slightly confused as to why we were not letting her take corners and set pieces. Oh man. And she was finding super good pockets of space to sit in to receive the ball and we weren’t finding her and it was FRUSTRATING. Also, her lean back on her shot. WHHHHhhhyyyy???? But that cut before it? Hot. Oh. And her first touch failed her sometimes and if she had had some cleaner starts, she could have created WAY more.

Lindsey - Miss 100 Cap!! She won approximately 800 headers and got (1) classic Horan stupid yellow for pulling on someone when she definitely didn’t need to!! Sucks that on her celebration game, she had to play the 6 where she is wasted. She’s constantly having to remind herself to drop back, to stay defensive. Her first half shot was beautiful and she had some exciting touches and opportunities. And her work rate just built through the game. Especially after her card, she got smarter, and she positioned herself much better to intercept and interrupt any Korea offensive breaks. Big bulldozer energy. She needs to be higher up the field though. Andi and JJ, plz return from war.

Pinoe - solid meh. I genuinely can’t remember too much. The first few minutes it seemed like her and Alex and Tobin would be able to create some magic, but no such luck. I wish I had more things to say, but I simply, do not.

Tobin - again. Like Cat. I expected the sub for her because she was just balling in England. Her and Kelley still connect well on that right side and complement each other’s movement. Wish we could have seen more of her because she definitely would have built into that game, especially as South Korea got tired at the end.

Alex - I don’t know. She just wasn’t it this game. She got herself into some really really good space, splitting the center backs and running on to the ball. But her touch wasn’t great and her shooting wasn’t great and that was a huge bummer. She needs some joy injected into her game again.

Carli - one. More. Game. I actually would have put her in sooner. Or not at all and stuck Lynn in there. Some good header wins but nothing wild.

Mal - let me start by saying oh my god, she needs to SHOOT. She was driving the back line and cutting into the box with pace SO WELL. V reminiscent of baby Mal from 2016. But then she gets in her head and takes one more touch and it goes from exciting to blah realllll quick. She looked GOOD though. Certainly more energetic than Pinoe.

And I saved Soph for last because that’s my baby and I’m proud. So many good opportunities for her. Some chefs kiss touches and cuts and runs. Playing nearly a full season in Portland has done wonders for her. The goals are coming. And damn is it going to be fun to see her and Cat and hopefully Mal tear shit up in the future.

I feel like that was overwhelmingly positive for a team that looks tired and disconnected and is having a hard time scoring goals. But I love this dumb team so I can’t help but be semi-optimistic I guess. I want to just give them all positive affirmations and help them get their psycho joy and relentlessness and FUN back.

And I miss Christen. And Crystal.

That’s all I’ve got!!

#uswnt #ad FRANCH #becky sauerbrunn #tierna davidson #casey krueger #kelley o'hara #emily fox #Lindsey Horan #cat macario #rose lavelle #kristie mewis #tobin heath #megan rapinoe #alex morgan #carli lloyd #mal pugh #sophia smith

[animeyanderelover]

Hello there! Hope you're doing well on your holiday! This is my first time requesting oof. Could I request how Sebastian, Ash, Prince Soma and Hannah react to their darling outright asking them why they are genuinely interested in them. Darling is confused and believes they're not that interesting to even bring the attention of people like them. They're pretty closed off from others and was at first weary of the intentions they had and just finally just asked to get a firm answer. Thank you! Love your writing!

I enjoyed my holidays whilst they lasted, sadly they’re over now and I have to wait about 3 months until summer break😣.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, delusions, kidnapping, manipulation, sabotage, isolation, emotional guilt-tripping, self-harm

Why do you like me?

Sebastian Michaelis

🐈‍⬛He pretty much openly courts you by now, after his time observing you for a bit, finding out what his darling likes and what’s not, how he can get closer to his darling without any problems. Sebastian has every intention to pamper you if you don’t throw a tantrum in which case he has to be more strict on you. And the fact that you are closed off from others is such a delightful thing to witness. It makes the whole situation a lot more easier, he doesn’t have to worry too much about you being interested in someone else or dedicating your time to someone else. I personally believe every demon in Black Butler is isolating due to their posssessiveness.

🐈‍⬛He was prepared for this question of yours, he sensed your suspicions since quite some time and why wouldn’t you? Sebastian is a mysterious man for everyone. On the one hand he is charming and handsome and can do anything, on the other hand there is this mischievous and evil vibe around him that tells you to stay away. It is also a bit unnerving how he seems to know everything about you, from your favorite flowers down to your favorite color.

🐈‍⬛Sebastian is known for keeping his calm and his charm and since he expected you to ask him this sooner or later, he already had much time to prepare an answer, even though he would have been great in answering you that question even if he wouldn’t have known about this. He would give you a charming smile and be very smug about this question of yours, somewhat teasing you by asking if it shouldn’t be obvious by now. He’s trying to court you, kitten. He would find enjoyment if you would look baffled whilst also being fluttered by this answer of his, which might just earn you more playful teasing mixed with fluttering comments why he likes you.

Hannah Annafellows

🟣Similar to Sebastian, she would start expressing her interest openly to you after a while, even though she would even before that try to be a close friends with you. From all the demons in this Anime, I would say Hannah is one of the worse types to have, it’s either her or the triplets Timber, Thompson and Canterbury. She uses isolation and letting people disappear from your life as a way to draw you closer to her and trust her more. So whilst she will be definitely pleasant upon discovering that her darling is a loner, she will also have to think of another ways to make them trust her more since making important people for them disappear isn’t too possible except family which Hannah doesn’t want to kill as long as they don’t do something to annoy her. She has after all only a true place for her darling in her heart.

🟣She just senses how much you are weary of her, especially in the beginning. You have surely your reasons, after all she is from the Trancy manor and there are certain rumors about this place. Next to that she is a demon and whilst being talented in anything can amaze people, it can also scare them. And here as well the fact that she knows so much, too much about you is unnerving as well. Trying to distance yourself wouldn’t really work though, it’s as good as impossible to escape a demon and given your mistrust, Hannah will also start intensifying her strategies to make you cling onto her more.

🟣Different from Sebastian she relies a lot on guilt-tripping to persuade her darling into many things. So there is a chance she will pretend to be a bit hurt by this question, asking how you couldn’t notice. She uses this question as a chance for being so distrusting of her. She will act all saddened and upset, maybe even she’s the one or another tear. This will make you feel most likely bad for her. Secondary to that she will also tell you in a mellow and sincere voice what she likes about you, using it as a way that will hopefully make you fall for her.

Prince Soma

🍛Try to explain to him that you don’t feel the way he does and you’ll quickly discover that his lovesick brain will twist everything you say into what he wants to hear. Soma is together with Finny heavily delusional to the point where about nothing can convince him that you don’t feel the same. For that it is not even courting what he does, it is already acting like you and him are already a couple and will marry later on (which will happen in his mind anyways). Whilst Soma is someone who gets easily jealous, he also doesn’t want you to be alone. He means, you aren’t. You have him. But at the very least Ciel and Agni will become people you will often interact with.

🍛Privacy is gone the moment he fell for you and his interest is painfully visible for everyone. He starts spoiling you, giving you a lot of affection and is everywhere you are all over you. It’s highly uncomfortable given the fact that you don’t even like him and it’s only thanks to Agni that he doesn’t completely monopolies your time and makes you move in with him. But Agni is also loyal to his prince and for that will at least try to talk you into giving Soma a chance. That boy is too oblivious to realize that you are hesitant around him, he’ll just brush it off as shyness.

🍛He is confused, to say the very least. He thought you were just as much in love with him as he is with you. Why would you even ask him this? And try to guess what he will interpret it as, with that sense mind of his. Your prince will start thinking that he didn’t show you enough affection, that he didn’t make his love clear enough yet. It causes him to give you a more childish reaction, suddenly suffocating you in a really tight hug and whining. He’s upset with himself, thinking it’s his fault for making you think that way. Oh well, then he’ll have to show you even more.

Ash Landers

▫️I’m so sorry to say this, but Ash needs not a lot of time to kidnap you, the longest would be a week in which he would act at first more as a secret guardian for you. I mentioned it a lot of times before, but Ash is a lot more hesitant with giving you affection, even though he would honestly die to be able to. You’re perfection in his eyes and he does not think that he deserves you or to be honored enough to touch you. You’re gonna be isolated anyways the moment he takes you, but he would definitely kidnap you even faster when noticing how you seem to avoid people. You’re literally begging him to take you away from the filth. And who is he to neglect you that wish? He will take you and afterwards treat you like a royalty.

▫️Keep with this man always one thing in mind, he wavers very easily, too easily when it comes to you. It’s understandable that you would throw tantrums, but for the love of god, please calm down. He would never show you, but behind the scenes, Ash punishes himself heavily whenever you seem upset with him. He has an obsessive fixation on keeping you happy and safe and by acting that way, showing him how unhappy you are plus the incredibly distant acting due to not trusting him (who wouldn’t when being kidnapped?), you’ll throw him into a whirlwind of dreadful fear and shame and a good piece of paranoia.

▫️He will react emotionally and affected. Ash’s goal is it to show you how special and pure you are, to make it clear to you that you deserve more than the best. He feels like he did pretty much everything wrong if you ask him still what he sees in you, though I’m sure he held already very long speeches about why he had to take you. But it’s still understandable why you would ask. You probably thought that there were far more pure people than you in this town. It’s not the worst reaction you got to see from him though, there were far more unnerving ones. He will very likely burst out in tears since someone like you shouldn’t ask this. Will beg for forgiveness to not be more clear about it and afterwards he will start rambling in a maniac way about why you’re perfect.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere sebastian #yandere sebastian michaelis #yandere hannah #yandere hannah annafellows #yandere prince soma #yandere soma #yandere ash #yandere ash landers