#it was my favorite movie as a child you cannot beat the music background out of me
circles, mirrors, self-reflection: soft initial thoughts on vocal symbology in as it was
listen, new heart tattoo just dropped in the form of this gorgeous song and the accompanying visuals from the music video. it’s gonna take me literal years to process this (and i don’t think it will ever end, as in all of h’s music, and i love that) and i’m sure i’m gonna come back to this with more structured thoughts but i did want to get a few initial feelings down and out of my head. this is going to approach more of a ✨journal entry✨ type reflection on some of h’s harmonics rather than a super coherent analysis but hey that’s pretty par for the course over here at ~butterfly h world~.
okay honestly this title feels more aspirational than anything else bc i don’t actually have the ability to tie in everything there i just wanted it up there as a reminder to myself of something i’ll have to come back to again and again to try and figure out (and read all of your wonderful thoughts)!
whew okay i’ll move chronologically through it and provide some commentary!
so we start out with a child’s voice and then move swiftly into the jumpy poppy synth chords—there’s something so playful about this melody, which really has me thinking about all the inner child discourse going on about the music video, combined with a young child’s voice at the start. there’s a deeper slower synth beat in the background, which weaves in an undercurrent of melancholy and makes me think of joy in the middle of pain—i find myself both smiling and crying during this song. when it first came out i think i was crying more, today while listening i can’t help but dance and smile, perhaps because i’ve watched it so many times that what i’m really left with is the joy, the surviving, the multitudes housed within harry’s body. but yeah back to the beginning!
holding me back / gravity’s holding me back
ahhh, harry alto our familiar our beloved!!! (check these out for a better explanation of this tone lol) we’ve got our favorite comfortable register here with extra echoing effects, which already has me thinking of spinning in circles in a tonal sense, with words blending together temporally (like h’s selves??). it seems to tonally mirror the imagery of harry and his blue counterpart spinning around and around.
his voice here is soft, ever so slightly breathy, with the qualities of a head voice. the lightness of his tone adds to the effect of the synth, combining to heighten this sense of floating around, spinning in a sonic space.
i want you to hold out the palm of your hand
here h drops low, his voice growing even softer with that range drop. he does the same on all the counterpart lines in this song (seems you cannot be replaced | why are you sitting at home on the floor? | your daddy lives by himself) and you can hear the breathiness particularly well in
seems you cannot be replaced
ahh just the softness of the voice drop in “-placed” gets me every time, he’s almost whispering at the end and i looooooooove it, makes me feel so many things. i think part of this is a personal vocal gender thing too, like i’ve said before my most comfortable register is around the same place as what harry’s seems to be, and the fact that he needs to be softer on his throat at that deep pitch, just like i do?? wowowow
okay so this isn’t a clear structured thought, but the texture of his voice in these verses is something that hits me too. sort of like how you can often tell if someone’s smiling when they’re talking even without seeing them just based on the sound of their voice, certain parts of songs can feel more smiley than others, even if they don’t have that truly ~brassy campy smiley~ sound of songs in say disney princess movies (or tpwk....). in the verses, harry very distinctly does NOT sound like he’s smiling. there’s a reflective, introspective quality to this soft voice that feels congruent with his facial expressions throughout most of this video. that combined with the floaty, spinny synth, the people flooding around him, h walking backwards, the spirals of the penguin enclosure—i just, i don’t know, there’s something here about constant emotional cycles and running round and round in circles and the soft introspection of his tone here seems to complement that.
oh
oh
oh
okay lol i wrote them like this to be extra but also to reflect what i think is a fun little instrumental mirror to what some of the background synth instrumentals are doing, which looks sorta like this:
^
^
^
^
and it sounds like h is mirroring the instrumental notes i’ve bolded here in his “oh, oh, oh”. this feels slide-y, like he’s moving down some steps.
in this world, it’s just us / you know it’s not the same as it was / in this world, it’s just us / you know it’s not the same
okay! chorus!! here we’ve got a lovely familiar choral harmonic breakdown:
- h high consonant harmony with extra vocal doubling
- harry alto
- very very soft low consonant harmony
the extra vocal doubling on the high consonant harmony makes it sound extremely foregrounded, while the low pitch of the other consonant harmony (both a production feature and the effect of harry dropping into a very low tone for his vocal range) sounds almost ghostlike, gliding along beneath the surface.
as with anytime we’re thinking about gender and vocal symbology, if i’m talking about binaries it’s to discuss how h explicitly fucks with them. just like how we have h and his blue counterpart separated and coming together near the end of the video, i think the explicit separation of the high and low consonant harmonies, along with their associated historical gendered connotations, make for a beautiful vocal display of the gender push and pull happening within h himself. i think by clearly aesthetically delineating those binary associations of man and woman within himself and the blue counterpart, along with the historically feminine higher register and masculine lower register, harry is able to deftly demonstrate the existence of both binary ideals within one person, which really challenges the notion of a binary existing in the first place.
also also, we have dissonance!!!!!! it’s extremely brief but i think really significant. on the first iteration of the phrase
it’s just us
the harry alto and low consonant harmony both drop downwards, while the high consonant harmony floats upwards. this harmonic deviation occurs most notably on the word “us”. okay okay okay wow so we have harry using dissonance on collective pronouns? have we seen him do this to emphasize points when he’s talking about himself before? (yessssss see this post on falling for an example). the power of him using dissonance on the line “it’s just us” when it’s only him on vocals???
just to break this down, we’ve got different tonal inflections by different harry voices on the word “us”, essentially suggesting that seemingly disparate entities (the feminine and masculine registers) are joined together in this “us”—presumably, the “we” of fine line, h themself. this is a theme we see all throughout the music video (and all of h’s music but anyway).
i’m also struck by the fact that the next time he sings “it’s just us” in the chorus, every register follows the same downward track—that is, there’s no dissonance now! as if he’s underscoring, yes, they sound different but they really are all “us” (me).
also are u kidding me his little painted red toenails my fucking heart
as it was / as it was, as it was
okay here the high consonant harmony steps out for a second and we just have the harry alto, now delivered in a punchier chest voice, and the low consonant harmony (which you can hear a little clearer now).
the tonal journey of the chorus feels very bouncy, with the pitch jumping up and back down in slides and the texture of the sliding rhyme as/was almost suggesting a circle: as->was->as.
verse 2 is tonally much the same as verse 1. then we’ve got harry doing more vocal slides on the "oh, oh, oh” before the second chorus, so it all runs together a little more than the previous instance, where they felt a little more siloed as distinct notes. to use some terms, the first “oh’s” sounded more syllabic, whereas this feels like a slidey run, a melisma. i love the idea that this could be mirroring h’s identity journey as described in this song, a feeling of distinct things blending together (almost like there are ~no binaries anymore~ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
the bridge is delivered in a very straight-faced, introspective tone (once again, no smiley singing here). there are radio-ish effects on his voice (which like, i need more time to process the meaning of this lol), and there isn’t a lot of vocal jumping here, especially compared to the tonal bounciness of the rest of the song. i actually think this still creates a spherical effect though! the smoothness of the way his words move together in this section seems to sonically evoke the same-ness of moving around in a circle, the viewing of the same things over and over again, whereas the tonal bounciness of the rest of the song seems to describe the curves and ever-changingness of the arcs of a circle. (same-ness and ever-changingness meaning the same thing? breaking down binaries??)
this has me thinking about some of the perspective choices in the music video, how the camera is sometimes on the wheel with h and his blue counterpart, so that they are fixed and the world is spinning, versus when the camera angle is from the outside and we’re seeing h spinning around. i’m still trying to figure this out, but i wonder if the tonal differences between the bridge and the rest of the song evoke these different perspectives at all.
is the tonal same-ness of the bridge a reflection of the way that when you’re outside of the wheel all you see is the same thing? is the tonal bounciness of the rest of the song a sonic reflection of the feeling of being on the wheel, always reaching for something, your movement describing the arc of the circle? is it the other way around? is it both? honestly i have no idea, someone pls lmk if you have any thoughts on this it will continue spinning around my mind for ages, i’m sure.
hey!
emotional release!!! no coherent thoughts here, h just has such an emotive, musical shout, and it gives me so much joy to hear him yell.
h delivers the final chorus (i guess it’s a hook? but like we know we don’t strictly follow definitions over here, it’s just ~vibes~) in his mixed head/chest voice that i’ve talked so much about particularly in adore you. i LOVE this voice. i have SO MUCH gender? vocal? envy over this voice. wowowow. i feel like once more the texture of his voice is reflecting his facial expressions in the music video here. this is the only time in the music video that he’s smiling and emoting joy! and while this chorus isn’t exactly that brassy smiley voice, it feels like there could be an emotional grin in there! it feels joyous, cathartic, celebratory (with the bells chiming in, almost just almost reminiscent of wedding bells? anyone? like not in the marital sense as much as in the sense of a union? of self?? idkkkkkkk).
the sound of h’s mixed voice sliding up into “you knowwwwhhhhh” here just WOW i can absolutely see the veins in his neck standing out when he hits this live (for reference, esny behind the album live performance “tell me something i don’t already knowwwwwwwwhhhhhhh” hmmm hmmm self-knowledge beautiful registers that require some vocal strain hmmmmm).
okay! so, not gonna try and summarize bc this is really just a little vocal journal entry after new harry music!!!! i will say in thinking about shifting perspectives in the music video, circular imagery, tonal “bounciness”, etc. i’ve been finding this song really bouncy and beautiful to sing along to, and i’ve really been finding myself jumping around to different harmonies. there just feels like so much ~possibility~ housed in the vocal landscape of this song which i think can be partly attributed to the fact that it’s new music and i haven’t been listening to it for years yet, but i do think it’s also got to do with the reflective, floaty, echoey, tonal arcs h has created in this gorgeous song.
and i sort of love that as a note to conclude this journal entry?? like.....maybe this is why the song can break you and also leave you with so much joy. even the vocal space (house?) of this song is suggesting boundless possibility. and i think that’s pretty cool <3
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I totally did this out of order, so let’s try this again!
I would like you to meet Uzuki Hanako! (うづき- Uzuki はなこ- Hanako)
(My first introduction was a hot mess, so I wanted re edit that one and put up this one instead!)
(I can’t draw for crap so I’m using picrew.)
This will basically be me talking about her rather than all the fandoms she’s in. I’m gonna be making post about her and the fandoms later, but for now it’s all about her!
First Name: Hanako
Last Name: Uzuki
Gender: Female
Race: Demigod
Age: ??? (Depending on the fandom, her age changes)
Birthday: December 27
Zodiac: Capricorn
Height: 6’3.3
Sexuality: Bisexual
JP CV: Ami Koshimizu
ENG CV: Amanda Céline Miller
FRENCH CV: Indila
(Couldn’t find a Greek CV 😔)
Nicknames: Shachi-chan (Floyd), Child of Hearth (Malleus), Ms.Herbivore (Leona), Princess, Wifey (Gojo)
Favorite food: Cheesecake, literally anything sweet
Least favorite food: Hummus, mushrooms, candy, and beans
Likes: family/friends, cooking, singing really loud to her music, working out, making clothes, nail polish, memes/vines, rain/cloudy weather, animals, purple, doing anything around the house, video games, anime, fictional books, roughhousing, and day dreaming about her crush/significant other
Dislikes: Fights between friends and family, Candy, crying in front of people, and bookshelves
Since I can’t draw I have to use picrew, but sadly some of the makers that I find have limited options so allow me to go into detail about her looks. (I’ll probably make another post about her abilities later)
Hanako has bright gold eyes and long lavender hair that goes all the way down to her mid thigh. She has two beauty marks, one under her right eye and one on the left side of her lip. Her signature hair style is space buns with the rest of her hair down in the back. Like I’ve said before, I can’t draw so I’m using characters I know as reference! This is what her body looks like.
(^ This is Flare, a character from fairy tail! I recommend watching it if you have time. Fairy tail is a very long series, but it’s really good!)
(I’m pretty sure you can look at almost all the women in Fairy tail and get the idea.)
Obviously I know that Hestia doesn’t have any demigod kids but demigods don’t have to be born the normal way. Hanako was born from fire and was given to her father. With that being said, when Hana was first claimed she was given a fire place poker but traded it in for a sword so she it could help control her pyrokinesis. (Her sword is disguised as a charm bracelet!)
As for her sword...
Hana’s sword helps her control her pyrokinesis a little better and it’s fun to try and see who can pick it up. Her sword can reach up to about 2000°F (1093°C). She has a few special moves but those are for another time.
Although Hana acts like her mom in some moments, she met Apollo and Hermes when she was quite young and those two have had a big impression on her personality. One moment she giving motherly advice, and the next moment she screaming vines across the room.
Random facts about Hanako 🌸✨
Since Hana means flower I use cherry blossoms and lavender to represent her.
Has a huge soft spot for children!
Hanako is super understanding and open. Wanna try something new? She’ll come with you, so you aren’t lonely and scared. Skydiving? What time are we leaving? Want to be left alone? Call her if you need something! Wanna try working out? She’ll be your personal trainer! Feeling down? She’s coming over with movies and snacks! Can’t make it to game night? It’s alright just be safe with whatever your doing!
Once Hanako falls, she falls hard.(Romantically speaking) She is a SIMP. She’ll wear the most giddiest smile after talking with them. Probably screamed in her pillows at least a few times. “They make my heart beat so fast, and they make me feel like the happiest girl in the world!!” - Hanako.
Attempts her best not to be obvious about her crush, and for the most part it works. Until anything other than platonic stuff comes up. Her face is gonna turn crimson if ANYONE mentions her crush in not so platonic ways, gods forbid anything even more intimate. Children of Hestia are so shy when the idea of sexual things is even bought up that they blush deeply and cannot articulate any coherent words, and any fire nearby also turns crimson as if it were blushing like the child of Hestia. This shyness is amplified if they are around their crush.
Gets kind of anxious when she’s beside a bookshelf.
She’s a smart ass. It’s gotten to the point where she does it automatically. It doesn’t even have time to process, it just comes out.
Hana is actually really good at acting and singing. She was in a few commercials and videos when she was younger but only as background characters.
Hana is amazing with kids. She grew up with 3 little brothers before she was moved into the orphanage, which meant even more kids to watch over. (she takes her big sister role very seriously)
Since she was born from fire, she can raise her body temperature up if she wanted too, and she rarely gets hot or cold. Heat based attack have no effect on her. Hana’s hugs feel like a warm blanket wrapped around you while sitting next to a fireplace, all in all just really comforting
Hana grew up around a lot of guys and so she calls everyone ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ a lot. She has a few friends who are girls but most of them are guys. That being said, she grew up rough housing and yelling.
Hana also comes from a very affectionate family. (Hugs, kisses, feeding food to each other, smashing food into someone’s face, etc.) So it’s not uncommon to see Hana tackle all of her friends into hugs and kisses.(platonically)
Hana also likes to tease a lot (curtsy of Hermes) so don’t be surprised when she tease about you burning food.
Is super flexible. I’m talking like, Mitsuri flexible. Her friends have at least saw her in the scorpion pose a few times. The more flexible she is, the easier it is to move in battle.
The woman is a tree. I’m pretty sure all of her lovers (with the exception of Gojo) are shorter than her.
She can not, for the life of her, wear heels. Anything above a 3 inch that isn’t thick, would make her snap an ankle. Besides she’s already tall enough
In terms of anger, Hana has the patience of a saint. She still gets annoyed here and there, but very rarely does she get genuinely angry. On the rare occasion that she is angry, she gets pretty violent. Veins showing from her forehead, her body temperature spikes, and she wears one of the most nastiest glare ever. (from what she’s been told) Only a select few have seen her mad.
When thrown into a new situation (or a new world-) that isn’t familiar, Hana will come off a bit sarcastic (more than usual) and aloof. She wants to get a feel for her surroundings before she can actually be herself. Give her some time to come around and she’ll be back to hyper and happy.
Hana has a bunch of hobbies. She plays volleyball and is known as the queen of the court. She loves to paint her fingernails and her toes as well. Her cooking is top tier! As a Hestia child obviously she would excel at anything that has to do with domestic and home type things.
She 100% would/will make her own dress. Once made a huge ball gown dress because none of the place had what she was looking for.
When she isn’t doing any of her hobbies she’s working out and practicing her pyrokinesis. Hana trained a lot back where she was from, so she could master her pyrokinesis and her sword. She’s gotten to the point where she can lift a car. Just because she’s in a different place doesn’t give her the excuse to slack off!!
Ironically her mother is a virginal goddess and isn’t married to anyone. Hana on the other hand, wants to get married and have kids. She shooting for 4 but it all depends on what her partner wants. (2,6,8 it just depends)
Hestia children can induce serenity and make tense situations a lot more calmer. Hanako has defeated a lot of enemies and monsters this way.
Hanako knows 4 different languages. English, Japanese, Greek, and French. She was taught Japanese by her father and Greek by her mother. She learned French and English herself
Even though Hana loves to do girly things, makeup is not one of them. She always thought it was pretty cool but she never had the time to sit down and practice it.
Thank you for reading✨ I had a lot of fun making this and I can’t wait to write more stuff about her! I’ll probably have to learn how to make a master post so her stuff is easier to access. If you have any questions about Hana my inbox is open, or you can message me in private, either way works!
I hope you stick around for more content with Hanako! 🌸🔥✨
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Sera with the Members
a/n: mark is in this because dream is now a fixed unit and he’s part of the lineup!!!!!!
WATERMELON ADDICT
was the person who made Sera comfortable since he reminded her of home
always asks if canadian bacon is better than american bacon
‘i dONt kNoW, sERa! mEAT iS mEaT!’
she didnt actually cry on stage when he was leaving but she cried when it was just the two of them and he recorded for the last time
it was her idea for hyuck to buy him a big bottle of ketchup
CANNOT believe that mark was a churchboy and ends up acting up in music videos
the duality SCARES her
calls her finny since her name is serafina
sera has her own room but she has an extra bed so he sleeps in there when he spends the night
learned this watermelon shake to help mark’s hangover
english all the time
ever since they met, mark has always placed his elbow on her head due to her short height
sera learned this fried rice recipe from her mom and he goes over to their dorm for breakfast
‘mark bls dont touch anything. get out of the kitchen and go watch tv or something’
always brings up his messed up eggs
‘gordon spitting facts tho’
whenever he feels too overworked or too pressured, sera has always made it a point to come over to their dorm and have a movie night with just the 2 of them with his favorite snacks and drinks
LONJIN
omg these two
sera is typically not mean but when renjun starts, she becomes ruthless
always calling out his fake personality
‘everyone, don’t believe him! he’s 2 faced!’
‘what are you even saying! you act like you’re so quirky and giggly but you yeeted jisung into the wall last night!’
‘YAH!’
so yea, they fight a lot
but its very playful and they know where that line is drawn and not cross it
he talks to her about space and aliens and she listens to every word bc renjun sounds so confident and happy whenever he talks about that stuff
they’re actually 10 days apart but sera acts like she’s 10 years older than him
‘IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO SOMEONE OLDER?!’
‘okay, granny’
always in awe whenever renjun draws and paints and she really likes seeing him in his element
unbeknowst to her, he actually draws her a lot
wants to frame all of his work
they go out to the roof and stargaze
he steals her airpods just to watch her go crazy
once hid her phone in the fridge
lives for his vocals
cannot believe how much he’s grown from chewing gum era to now
her heart strings were tugged when he cried in dnyl
renjun always says that he wishes sera was born as his little sister bc they act like they’re siblings
EYESMILE PRINCE
hmm
so their is kinda complicated
sera’s closest to him than all the members bc 1, he was her first friend and 2, he has cats
before, when they still went to school, her and jeno always went together
yes, jaemin and jeno and her went together in the beginning
but jaemin was in the hospital and recovering so it just became them 2
also, she goes to visit his parents so she can see his cats
this results to his parents and older sister adoring her
‘bongsik, nal, and seol are my kids’ - lee sera, 00 line vlive
she always craves for attention and when it isnt given bc he’s too busy playing, she just walks into his room and sits on his lap while he plays
tries to get his attention by saying stuff but he teases her by acting like she aint there
‘fine, i’ll go to jaemin’
jeno wasnt supposed to be blonde for the comeback but they were just messing around and next thing they knew, jeno’s tips were bleach blonde
when shes on that,,,, time,,,,, hes the only one in the dorm she listens to
not even johnny, who’s practically her father
collabs with her mukbang show and jsmr
he mentions her like at least once whenever he has lives that she’s not in
steals his glasses all the time just to watch him wander around with this confused adorable face
hugs are so cute w these two and czennies see them hugging in videos and she can barely reach his shoulder
forehead kisses and sweater paws for daysss
NANA
drop dead gorgeous boy
shes not safe from jaemin’s affections
*cue jeno glaring at him for stealing her*
we all know how much he loves the members and whenever sera breathes, he busts his uwus
takes so many pictures of her
sera buys him lots of lip balms and carmex but he always forgets to put them on
sera hates peaches but she buys him peach flavored sweets whenever she sees them
‘NANA!!’
sera is also an attention whore so she always runs to him and wraps her arms around him and he squeals by how cute she is
bought him an expensive camera for his birthday
has a polaroid picture of him in her clear phone case
actually, her phone background is an old picture of predebut sera, jeno, and jaemin
one of the rare moments where she cried was when she found out that jaemin wouldnt be in a few comebacks bc he was sick
kept visiting him and jaemin cannot repay her enough
the dorm is full of ryan and winnie plushies from the sofa, a tiny winnie plush on the corner of the island counter, and their bedrooms
sera is the one who always throws away the his satanic drink even though it’s still full
‘yah, you need to think about your health and if it your body is tired, dont fight it by trying to drink these to keep your energy’
sleepovers with them are often and sometimes found sleeping on the spare bed in her room
FULL SUN
our big babie
oh boi when he got hurt
sera called him twice a day, one in the morning and one at night, just to check if it’s still hurting and making sure he’s resting
forever remembers when he dressed up as a girl
‘you see, i’m not the only girl member. dongsuk is just on hiatus right now’
his name on her phone is ‘man-child’
when he went on tour with 127, she really missed him
like she missed him so much that she kept posting on instagram for him to hurry back home
still mad that he moved dorms to be with the older members
when sera got sick, she made him sing ‘no longer’ to her like a lullaby
when he asks sera to do something for him, usually she says no because he asks her to do ridiculous things but his aegyo always convinces her
thinks his color amblyopia is so fascinating and adds more into the unique traits he has
another attention giver and she loves hugging him because he gives really warm hugs
one time, jeno and sera had a fight and it got so bad that hyuck had to be called and he was the only one who got to talk some sense in sera to talk to jeno
but the legendary markhyuck summer fight was resolved because sera yelled at them and cried since they are best friends and they shouldnt be like that to each other
they made up since ‘wow sera cried’ and ‘the members are ready to beat us up if we continue this’
and by members, like all members, including the older ones
sera knows how much being the moodmaker title burdens him so she tries to ease that burden by talking to him just the two of them
DOLPHIN CHILD
look how adorable he is UWU
he is 1/2 of sera’s sons
like she’s whipped for him and jisung and he knows it too
‘noona~’
‘yes, i will give you the world, the stars, and the moon’
thinks his laugh is endearing and is sad that it isnt that high-pitched anymore since his voice got a little deeper
cannot believe how much he’s grown too
when he speaks in chinese, sera thinks its the cutest thing
‘can we give his scalp some rest? its not healthy for the boy’
trust fund babies
you know how chenle has 3 airpods?
sera went through 4 phones since she keeps losing or breaking it
dont ask how bc shes as clumsy as namjoon
had this phase where he wouldn’t stop back-hugging his noona and she just left it alone
always buys him snacks and cooks him a lot of food bc she thinks he’s too skinny and wants him to be healthy and gain some fat on those cheeks again
on their break, she went to china with jisung and her lock screen is a picture of her and chenle holding his nephew
triggered her baby fever
czennies ship them but he makes it clear she’s the older sister he’s never had
nct dream took a vacation to her hometown and she bought them basketball tickets so chenle could see his idol
his mom practically adopted her since she goes over to his apartment all the time whenever the others are getting too much for her
she misses him so much its not even funny
JISUNG PWARK
our maknae is growing up :(
sera had the whole family sit and watch the first episode of dancing high
so proud of her boy
she called him during the show and it was shown and heard about her telling him to take care of himself and to not be too hard on his body and that she’s waiting for him at home
as the youngest member overall, sera babies him the most
he obvs takes advantage of it and she used to cuddle him to sleep when he was younger bc he had a hard time sleeping
again, cooks for him a lot since he’s a growing boy and making sure he takes vitamins and drinks water and limit sugary things
she calls his mom to give him updates about her son
remember his phone that he used until it actually died?
sera actually bought him a new one before that happened and just casually gave it to him
‘i know this was going to happen so i just took care of it. i have to take care of you, jisung-ah’
hypes him up whenever he dances bc wow this boy is actually talented
doesnt really like skinship but he tolerates it when she holds his hands bc theyre so much bigger than hers
one day just woke up and she got so confused when jisung grew up
‘did you grow in your sleep?’
‘n-no?’
loves his awkward nature and she keeps saying how adorable he is and cute he is whenever he acts cool
god, she’s just so whipped for him
but tbh, who isn’t?
aaaahhhhhh i cannot believe our wish came true and they became a fixed unit and we really getting a comeback and an mv in the 29th!!!
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Billboards #1 1961
Under the cut.
Bert Kaempfert – “Wonderland By Night” -- January 9, 1961
It's an instrumental, but it's a sexy one. It makes me think of being alone at night in a big city hoping to find someone to go home with, if just for a night. It definitely sounds of its time, but it's still very good.
The Shirelles – “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” -- January 30, 1961
For all the innocent-sounding music and beat, this is a straightforward song about sex. In 1961. Also a great song.
Lawrence Welk – “Calcutta” -- February 13, 1961
Blargh. Lawrence Welk's music gives me a pain. To say this sounds like a German music hall song is an insult to German music halls. Whatever music hall this plays in, they have a strict no-alcohol policy and don't serve caffeinated drinks either because they're opposed to every kind of drug. You get skim milk or nothing. There is nothing Calcutta-ish about it.
Chubby Checker – “Pony Time” -- February 27, 1961
An attempt to recapture The Twist. But that was lightning in a bottle. This is some dead fireflies in a jar. Unlike the Twist, the dance is sort of complicated. More importantly, the song doesn't make me want to dance at all. Sadly, not good.
Elvis Presley – “Surrender” -- March 20, 1961
I don't feel like Elvis really connected with this song. I certainly don't. It sounds like it belongs in one of his movies. He ramps up the belting, there's a background chorus that sounds like it’s from a Disney movie of the time, and the mariachi band overwhelms it all. How do you overwhelm Elvis? He's trying to sing to someone to seduce them, and he's failing with me. An embarrassing song.
The Marcels – “Blue Moon” -- April 3, 1961
This version of Blue Moon deeply annoys me. It's like they'd be embarrassed to sing a heartfelt love song, so they sped it up and threw a bunch of silly noises in instead. Go for the one Obsidian was smart enough to put in Fallout: New Vegas instead, by Frank Sinatra. Or the Mel Tormé version. Or the Chris Isaak version. Not this one.
Del Shannon – “Runaway” -- April 24, 1961
It's about a breakup, not a runaway. He doesn't get why his girlfriend ran away from him. And it is pure melodramatic cheese, yet it works. Del Shannon commits. Also is that a slide whistle? I can't really say it's a good song, but I kinda like it anyway.
Ernie K-Doe – “Mother-In-Law” -- May 22, 1961
Hah hah aren't mothers-in-law awful. That's it, that's the song. It's a bad sitcom joke. And musically it sounds like a commercial jingle. Yuck.
Ricky Nelson – “Travelin’ Man” -- May 29, 1961
The "every woman in an area is exactly the same" subgenre is one I hate. Yes, this means I hate The Beach Boys' "California Girls." The Beatles were absolutely right to send up this kind of bilge with "Back in the USSR." So, I hate this song. The narrator travels around the world and has a girlfriend everywhere, including a "senorita" in Mexico, an "Eskimo" in Alaska, and a "China doll" in China. Really, really bad.
Roy Orbison – “Running Scared” -- June 5, 1961
I think I just don't get Roy Orbison. In this song, he's afraid his wife (probably) will go back to her ex. At the end, she tells her ex to go away and chooses the narrator. The beat is repetitive and insistent as all hell and gives me a headache. I dunno, other people seem to like it. The lyrics are fine. Orbison's singing is fine. I cannot deal with the beat.
Pat Boone – “Moody River” -- June 19, 1961
Listening to Pat Boone is like putting mayonnaise in your ears. And not good mayonnaise. The narrator's girlfriend drowned herself because she felt oh so guilty about cheating on him, and he sounds awful cheery about it. I have another theory as to how she died. But someone like Pat Boone couldn't get convicted if he tried, especially in 1961. Now, how does one get mayonnaise out of one's ears? Probably vinegar, that's the solution to everything.
Gary U.S. Bonds – “Quarter To Three” -- June 26, 1961
What an odd name. The song sounds like an impromptu recording of a band at a club. It does make me want to dance. Gary shouts the song, sounding like he's had a few Red Bulls. I kinda dig it. It slaps.
Bobby Lewis – “Tossin’ And Turnin'” -- July 10, 1961
The narrator couldn't sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about you. He's got an awful lot of energy, considering that. But I understand that kind of nervous energy. Great saxophone solo too. It's a fun dance song about romantic desperation.
Joe Dowell – “Wooden Heart (Muss I Denn)” -- August 28, 1961
The narrator says not to leave him because he doesn't have a wooden heart and he might die. The way Joe sings the song though, I think he is lying. He's made of wood and will never be a real boy.
The Highwaymen – “Michael” -- September 4, 1961
So this is a version of "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore." Sung by the most comfortable and privileged people imaginable, who may also be on valium. I'm sure the members of The Highwaymen had some kind of pain in their lives; everyone does. But you'd never know it from their rendition. They seem to have had all emotion surgically removed. Absolutely terrible. It belongs in a Twilight Zone episode. I had to listen to the Harry Belafonte version afterward to cleanse my brain.
Bobby Vee – “Take Good Care Of My Baby” -- September 18, 1961
The narrator lost his girlfriend because he cheated on her, and he regrets it. He's telling her new boyfriend to take care of her. It's fine. I think maybe it's too fast. Too much snare drum.
Ray Charles – “Hit The Road Jack” -- October 9, 1961
Ray, I love you. Also Margie Hendrix, the lead backup singer here. I hope Ray worked the same magic he did in 1960, and the rest of 1961 will be good.
Dion – “Runaround Sue” -- October 23, 1961
Not only does Sue cheat all over the place, but also "she'll love you and she'll put you down." I like the song. It's upbeat and yet the singer sounds appropriately bitter. It's obviously no "Hit the Road Jack", but it's good.
Jimmy Dean – “Big Bad John” -- November 6, 1961
Yep, Jimmy Dean the sausage guy. It's one of those baritone spoken story things. I do not like those at all. So I'm not the audience for this. As a simple folk tale about a guy everyone's afraid of because he's so big, but then saves a bunch of lives at the cost of his own, it's fine. I wish it were sung though.
The Marvelettes – “Please Mr. Postman” -- December 11, 1961
An early Motown girl group song. The narrator is waiting for a letter from her boyfriend, which isn't there and clearly hasn't been there in a long time. Not one of my favorites, as the background singers sound weirdly like beeps to me. But still good.
The Tokens – “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” -- December 18, 1961
The saga of this song seems to be a convoluted semi-accidental stealing thing, and I'm not qualified to get into it. I do like it, but I liked it more as a child; I think it's a child's song. But the song it originated from is much more interesting. Look up Zulu singer Soloman Linda's "Mbube."
BEST OF 1961: "Hit the Road Jack" WORST OF 1961: A lot to choose from again, but I'm going with "Michael"
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My sis and I are through with the actual main plot of KH3, so I can officially go back to scheduled ToZ fangirling now.
…Well, I promised Cray a bit of fix-it-fanart, so after that, I guess.
Hit the cut for a resume. It got super long and has endgame story spoilers, so you might not want to stumble upon it by accident.
Another extra big shoutout (again!) to @crazayrock for bearing my liveblogging on Discord, screaming without context and occasional spoilers. And linking me fluffy Soriku doujinshi.
Here, have my favourite, spoiler-heavy excerpt of our conversation:
Okay anyway, let’s get started:
GAMEPLAY
Kingdom Hearts 3 is BEAUTIFUL. The gameplay is so smooth and intuitive that you can immediately get to playing like you’d never done anything else; in fact so smooth that I doubt I will ever be able to pick up the first game ever again. It’s always been fun, but the looooooong years’ gap actually did wonders to the gameplay.
The keyblade form changes are fun and keep things fresh, you can do flashy triangle button shit every other minute, and shotlock is still insanely useful without being a game-breaker.
It seems easier than the first two main games, though?
The gummi ship is still a pain in the ass to steer, but I do enjoy the open world-like travel options (even if there’s not… much to discover except heartless lasering the shit out of you).
I’m also eternally grateful that they kept the gummi ship thing from KH2 where you can just use a new gummi ship once you got the blueprint and don’t buy actual fucking legos as in the first game.
Thank you, Square. Not thanking you for the dumb cherry flan game, though.
The Caribbean being basically an open world stage was delightful! Apparently what our resident island kid needs is a big ship and tropical islands to plunder.
VISUALS AND STUFF
PRETTY LIGHTS EVERYWHERE
The long gap between the games also did wonders to the visuals.
There’s finally, FINALLY a few towns with actual NPCs you can talk to. Why it took the team so many years and the Gods know how many games is beyond me. The magic effects are beautiful, the animations smooth (honestly you can hardly tell apart cutscenes and fully rendered CGI scenes in this day and age of the PS4. I’m probably the only person still amazed by this because the only games I played on PS4 before were a few hours of Child of Light and of course Tales of Zestiria and Berseria. No, I still haven’t played FFXV but that’s a topic for another day).
How far videogames have come.Even space finally looks like space, lol. Not really high-end what the PS4 can do I assume but god, it’s such an amazing and much needed upgrade from the terrible textureless colourful tubes you flew through before.
No excuse for the terrible battleship thingy before the Keyblade Graveyard, though. I got lost and beaten up so many times and crashed against more walls than I can count.
Nothing beats the World that Never Was, but the Keyblade Graveyard also has creepy cool potential, as does the beautiful but ghosted City in the Sky.
Still not getting what’s with JRPGs and very Definitely Final Dungeons (TM) that are basically space. …………or heaven. Or nothing. I’m getting the bad kind of original NGE TV series ending vibes. But. Okay.
The soundtrack is splendid
.……I miss Traverse Town and Radiant Garden, however.
Which brings us to:
THE WORLDS
I guess I can live with no more Final Fantasy characters being there (although I always loved that), and the meta jokes in Toy Story world really got me.
Seeing Disney characters calling the KH villains call out on their shit was delightful.
…the KH characters lampshading their own games’ sloppy dialogue writing was delightful.Still, those Disney worlds are always so much more in my head than what I actually get to play. This has been bugging me ever since the first game and it still does. I do not expect or want to replay the entire movies, but would it hurt to give the cutscenes some goddamn background music? Whenever there’s cutscenes, either the world’s usual BGM keeps playing or the music stops altogether. Together with the shortened dialogues and generally drastically shortened plots with odd cuts, that leads to scenes that are awkward at best. They never even remotely have the impact the movies had. You just sit there and think “oh wow that is so silly and awkward”.
Dancing scene in Corona? My favorite scene in Tangled. Zero impact on me without the lovely BGM (at least they made it a minigame so the moment isn’t over after 3 secs). Just for example. You can ask me like, world by world, but I can think of only exception off the top of my head and it’s not helping:
Let it Go of course.
Listen guys, I actually love the song.
But it’s so overused (and Frozen is an overrated movie at best that doesn’t deserve its hype in the slightest) that I can’t even really enjoy it being there. Like.
IF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU,WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE LITERALLY ANY OTHER ORIGINAL SONG FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIES.
Instead of BGM just not being there entirely, or in odd, cringey re-renderings that nobody wants to listen to (*cough* Atlantica *cough*).
Why torture me and not give me the one good scene from At World’s End (the up is down scene) when you had the chance?Kingdom Hearts is also prone to super lazy level design and wasting chances at wonderful scenery for no apparent reason other than I suppose empty cliffsides are quick to render. All games before did that, and KH3 is, sadly, no exception. We get to see a bit of Corona and Athens and they finally have NPCs, too, but you cannot even get near Arendelle. You cannot enter Elsa’s palace. You spend the entire time there climbing around in the snowy mountains of Norway, and unfortunately it looks less interesting than one would expect from the lovely concept art that the film unfortunately never used.You cannot enter Rapunzel’s tower although Sora can apparently parkour his way up even without her help.
………In short, the places you can go are, again, very limited, and a lot of interesting places and scenes you never get to see.
And to follow the plot you still only need the stuff that does NOT happen in those Disney worlds because they’re all beach filler episodes. It’s always been like that, but I keep wondering whether I’m the only one bothered by that.
I’m also still salty they didn’t introduce a single new world from a 2D animated movie.
Also, as I said, I miss Traverse Town, it felt so warm and welcoming and beautiful.
And I get behind The World that Never Was missing although I loved it there, but why not give us back Radiant Garden? Destiny Islands since they’ve been restored? Disney Castle?
As much as I love the series, it never fucking lives up to its own potential. Idk whether it’s made more difficult by copyright issues or whatever, I just know that it bugs me.The first two games also had like twice as many worlds.
PLOT
I mean it’s never been deep; however, it’s complicated. No analysis or whatever from me because plot analysis and meta writing bore me like seven hells, just my emotional reaction:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Okay, bad news. I got into it expecting nothing, and still got disappointed. I don’t actually enjoy the prospect of writing essays about it, but here’s my tea with it; in not particular order:
1) the pacing is terrible. Nothing happens for like 30 hours and then suddenly like 20 characters’ arcs are (naturally poorly) resolved within the last few hours of cutscenes. Build up anyone?
At least they actually did pick up Maleficent and the box thing again. …In the epilogue.
2) Speaking of build ups, Sora’s breakdown could have been developed nicely and steadily over the game to feel natural, and instead it’s hinted at in the beginning by everyone picking on him, but then it’s never further developed and comes out of fucking nowhere. Like. For real? It felt terribly OOC.
3) Why on earth have they shown 90% of the plot in the trailers already, and why are those scenes so massively disappointing in context
4) Kairi. Oh god, Kairi. What are we gonna do with you. I want to love her, I really do, but she’s a prime example of shittily written female leads. Mostly because she’s not leading. It’s not her fault. She’s just a fictional character. But honest to God, Nomura, why. Her screen time is almost nonexistent, and she’s entirely use- and helpless whenever she’s on screen (which isn’t often). Her ONLY point in the plot is being rescued because she is fucking useless. Why. Just why. Why waste her character like that.
All we know is that she’s shoehorned into being the token love interest, but she has zero plot relevance and there is even less build up of her relationship with Sora. It’s all tell and NEVER show; and not even much telling, either. She has literally zero direct interaction with in the entire game before they share their paopu.
The question remains: why are straights like this
5) On a related note: look, I don’t even ask for (or expect, or even hope) my ship to be canon. Squeenix doesn’t exactly have a rich history in queer representation. I’m totally fine with Sora and Riku being best friends. BUT. Building up Sora as the most important person in Riku’s life (and arguably, vice versa) over the course of several games, just to then hardly have them interact in the finale and then SUDDENLY bring back Kairi into the equation, who hasn’t interacted with him since the ending of KH2 (except for one unsent(?) letter) is just piss poor writing, period.I actually love Cray’s suggestion she gave me over Discord: let Sora, Kairi and Riku all share a paopu together (and let them group hug, too, you cowards). It would have been the perfect message to send (Sora as truly all-loving hero, and loving all your friends equally; romantic love isn’t more important than platonic love and doesn’t need to be singled out).
Really sad that this isn’t what happens. Apparently that wouldn’t have been no homo enough.
LET THE DESTINY TRIO GROUP HUG YOU COWARDS
Do Riku and Kairi even interact once in the whole game?
HOW IS THIS A TRIO, IT’S JUST A SHITTILY WRITTEN LOVE TRIANGLE
6) Time travelling is a bitch, Christ. It doesn’t solve plotholes or can be played for drama, it just adds MORE plotholes. It just got WORSE. The cloning blues and people not aging doesn’t help, either.
7) Just so you know, I care absolutely zero for wild fan theories. You’re not Nomura. I want a statement from the man who wrote this shit himself why on bloody earth Sora dies when he apparently successfully found and brought back Kairi (and since nobody aged a day, apparently it didn’t even take that long lol). DUDES, THIS IS KINDA PART OF THE PLOT, AND YOU DON’T BOTHER TO EXPLAIN IT INGAME????
And how was Ienzo/Zexion able to revive Naminé while Kairi was still missing/dead/whatever…?
Okay so in short the writing is worse than ever and that’s saying something.
However, let’s try to find something good in this trainwreck; it wasn’t all bad. There’s some really nice scenes which sadly are better enjoyed without any context at all.
So, guess my favourite scenes.You had time enough, here’s the solution:
1) Purifying uhm er rescuing Aqua. Poor girl. She deserves the rest. Poor, poor Aqua. The only properly wirrten female in the whole damn franchise. Also the only person other than Riku who fucking gets shit done.
2) The Gayblade (TM)
3) Happy Axel in the reunion with his kids. Oh god, the poor chap deserves it so much. Thank you, Nomura. I don’t care that it makes pretty much no sense. Make him happy. Give him his friends back. Just give Axel all his friends and let him happily set things on fire. Hi I love Axel
4) The party at the beach cutscene before the credits roll. Axel and Xion get clothes. Half the organization is on our side now. I almost teared up at the Wayfinder trio saying goodbye to Eraqus’ forceghost. Hey come on he’s the voice of Luke Skywalker
5) Sully yeeting Vanitas
6) Woody calling out Xehanort that nobody loves him
7) Jack Sparrow bad breathing Luxord
I wish we had gotten:
1) justice for Kairi
2) a happy Zexion, the poor emo kid. Well maybe now he will be, with all the orga members who changed sides now, lol.
3) I will never trust mobile games ever again so I don’t want to play KHUX but I would have loved to learn about the Keyblade Wars :;))))
WHAT WAS THE KEYBLADE WAR ABOUT
CAN WE SPEND MORE TIME IN THAT COOL CITY IN THE SKY
WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MIKLEO
I MEAN THAT EPHEMER KIDDO
WHAT’S WITH THE MASKED DUDES AND DUDETTES FROM THE MOVIE
WTF WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AFTER THE MOVIE????
WHERE THOSE KEYBLADE USER NAMES ACTUAL MOBILE GAME PLAYER NAMES???
Next game? PLEASE?
I really, REALLY hope the epilogue means we will get Xiggy/Luxu as our new big bad and we learn more about the five dudes and dudettes from the movie. Please. PLEASE. I’m so up for it.
Them finally pickung up the bit with Maleficent and the mysterious box again? Hell yeah.
The secret movie was really unexciting in comparison, although I laughed very hard at the “Verum Rex” scene in Toy Story world. Maybe that’s why it was much cheaper to unlock than in KH1 and KH2.
4) give Ven a drink
DLC ideas I would actually pay for because I’m a sad human being:
1) more Disney worlds
2) Japanese audio
3) at least one of the following as permanently playable characters: Riku, Kairi, Axel, Ven, Aqua. At least as a guest member as in KH2. THIS SUCH A BIG STEP BACKWARDS I’M FUMING
FINAL THOUGHTS
Kingdom Hearts 3 is a hella lot of fun, beautiful, and also moving when it sets its mind to it. Unfortunately it doesn’t always do so.
I don’t feel like it wasn’t worth the wait; it was. However, I’m very salty how rotten the writing is. I do not mind logical fallacies, I do not mind the cheesiness and cringeyness; however, I do mind how so many interesting characters do not get the screentime they deserve, and Kairi is a very bad joke.
I’ll probably find more to nitpick about (Gods. Just. Don’t come up with dub excuses why Sora is lv 1 in each game. JUST LEAVE IT BE. You don’t explain why Donald and Goofy are lv 1 again, either. JUST. LEAVE. IT. BE. The sacrifice was dumb and not even moving, I’m just still furious that Kairi’s ONLY point in the plot is being so useless that it’s literally getting herself KILLED and she needs constant rescuing to the point that Sora has to sacrifice himself for her, effectively.
Kairi deserves better, Sora deserves better, I deserve better than to think about this absurdity.…I’m just… gonna cherry-pick the good bits from the lore and try to pretend the finale didn’t exist, I guess. GODS.
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˚ ‧ ♢ ․ LYRICA OKANO. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER. » is that ALICE ITO, the MUSICIAN, who has been often times compared to LORDE? i heard the TWENTY-THREE year old can be WITHDRAWN and CYNICAL but makes up for it by being CREATIVE and WITTY. whenever i think of ITO, i’m reminded of a plethora of THICK EYELINER, BLACK CLOTHING, and STRONG BASS NOTES. maybe there’s more to them than being dubbed THE RECLUSE by the media.
hello, it is i, faye, and i present to u my newest child- alice !!!! plz love her, it is all i ask xoxo; here’s some shit about her:
background:
- raised by a single mom in seattle, alice was always taught to be a strong, independent woman
- didn’t know her dad and doesn’t care to (can i create a character that doesn’t have daddy issues??? WHO KNOWS)
- grew up in the seattle grunge scene, her aunt was a singer in a grunge band and would take her to SO many shows- her mom objected at first, but eventually realized how much alice loved it and was like ‘ok cool, fine’
- joined an all-girl grunge band (think verruca salt) in high school and LOVED it sm
- she started going to college at ucla but dropped out after just a few months to focus on her band full-time
- eventually realized that her OWN style was less grunge and started out on her own
- also around this time, she met someone (if u give me this connection I will give u my soul) who she fell In Love with and it ended really badly and she was heartbroken- so sad
- so, now, she is scared of bein in relationships ((-:
- ANYWAY, almost immediately, a label noticed her and her unique style and decided that they needed to have her, and, so, ito was born
- has released two albums now and is killin it in the alternative scene
- when she’s not on tour or promoting her music, she lays super low, just chillin in her house in l.a.- like, seriously, the press??? never knows what she’s up to (sasha cannot relate) and she’s kinda a mystery to the media- no one really know what she’s up to (aka WHY she’s the recluse, she just out here chillin in her humble abode)
personality:
- she’s kinda quiet- more of an observer
- hilariously funny if you get to know her- sarcastic side comments galore
- kind of a hardass, doesn’t let people in easily and isn’t interested in being close to too many people
- she’s bi (i cannot play a straight character, it would be a personal hate crime and a hate crime against deanoru SO)
- does not like going out, would much rather stay at home watching classic movies and ordering ubereats
- she’s a movie fiend- knows A Lot about film
- will (try to) beat u up if you mess with someone she cares about- she’s kinda weak, but her glare is scary so Watch Out
- is very funny on twitter
- favorite color is black……. obviously
- has a lot of reptiles, SO many reptiles, she loves them, she has a whole room in her house for her reptiles (this IS a personality trait, it is VERY important)
uhhhh SO, that’s all i got rn, hmu or give this a like if u wanna ~plot~ oK BYE !!!!
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Finding Kurt Hummel: Old Dogs, New Tricks
Masterpost
5x19: Old Dogs, New Tricks
Previously on Glee: Everyone else is doing things - while Kurt has his collections of neckerchiefs. Kinda wondering if Chris wrote that one, lol.
So.... Yeah, this is the episode that Chris Colfer wrote. And what do I think of it? Because I know you guys are all here for my very professional opinion on all these things... lol. It’s... fine. There are some things that really work -- Santana as a publicist - excellent!! Sam and Mercedes’s relationship issues -- great. Dogs dragging Lea Michele down the road because of her bratty behavior - totally here for that. Honestly, I think the Kurt portion of the story may be the weakest aspect of this episode, but this is Chris’s first try at a TV script, and I think he’s done a lot better than a lot of people out there -- including whoever wrote I Kissed a Girl, ug.
I do think there’s some dialogue that’s a little stiff, and Chris has a tendency to write a little on the cheesy side, but I’m really sad that season 6 wasn’t longer to give him another go at it, cause I think TV writing might have been a good avenue for him. And I really hope that some day he gets to head his own TV show - because I think it’s something he’d do rather well at. So - that’s my two cents.
I will say - this episode is mostly stand alone. And with the season drawing to a close -- I really am missing those extra two episodes that were chopped off the end of the season. I really would have liked to play around in this sandbox for a tad bit longer, as I think there were most definitely more stories to tell. At least I am grateful for what we got.
Problem Child
So, I’m not going to spend much time (or really at all) trying to figure out how Chris feels about this or that as evident through the script. I mean -- TV is a collaborative process -- and even if Chris wrote the script, I’m sure a lot of people still had their input, and he didn’t direct it, so... But I think this still is a good indicator about how he felt about Rachel. I mean... yeah, it’s probably how we all feel about Rachel, tbh.
So as we open -- Kurt wants to see a movie, but, well, Blaine is too busy doing stuff with June, Santana just doesn’t want to, and Rachel’s freaking out that image is being tarnished because she fucked up in the previous episode. And, as most things do, it becomes all about Rachel. Santana, however, steps up to be her publicist -- which is -- incredibly inspired!! Can I just keep the headcanon that Santana sticks to being a publicist, this is a fantastic choice for her. Thank you, Chris, for this.
Anyway - Kurt’s more than annoyed -- and even has to tell Rachel to keep her voice down because they’re in side -- because he is, more often than not, Rachel’s care giver. Because seriously, this girl cannot seem to function on her own.
So -- here’s my thing. This script is a little awkward going forward -- a lot of it is Kurt harping on how his ‘friends’ aren’t there for him, though only specifically focusing on Rachel. And while I think the Rachel was the safest route to go, and one that’s been clearly building for a while, I do think it might have been interesting to see how that played out with others -- such as Mercedes or Santana or even Blaine. (Though, honestly, I’m glad Chris did the smart thing and not include a lot of Blaine in this script. I totally get why he did -- because he really didn’t want to be harassed about it -- and that was the wisest choice for him.)
Oh and then to everyone’s shock - Rachel goes to yell at someone for putting their dog in their purse. I mean, is this an LA thing? I kinda wonder if this is an LA thing that pisses Chris off and he gets to yell through Rachel. It kinda feels like it, lol. Anyway... Kurt’s in the background, but his ‘wtf are you doing’ look is classic.
Pillsbury
So - this episode has to do with three of Chris’s favorite things: 1. Dogs (animals); 2. Old People; and 3. Fairy tales. I mean - I don’t think it gets much Chris-ish than that -- unless you wanted to throw in aliens. I do find it hilarious that he brings all these things to Kurt, because they aren’t really there before -- but it seems to fit in pretty well.
Anyway - we get June Squibb in the form of Maggie Banks (Do you see -- it’s a combo of Maggie Smith and Mrs Banks from Mary Poppins -- at least that’s what I assume is the inspiration.) I’m not going to talk too much about June Squibb’s performance -- because it’s awkward at best (I can’t tell if it’s her acting or if it’s the lines). But it makes a ton of sense that this actress just coming into her own in her 80s is who they got to play the part. I assume Chris adored working with her.
Anyway, this old folks home is doing a rendition of Peter Pan (get it - cause they’re old, and they want to stay young forever -- this script is full of stuff like this. I can’t tell if it’s clever or not.) And Maggie’s gonna start screaming elder abuse if the poster doesn’t go up in the diner. But -- that doesn’t stop her from noticing that Kurt’s full of his usual ennui.
Hilariously, he says he files all his problems away and lets it out during an episode of Long Island Medium. (This is another Chris-ism. Yeah, I can’t stop pointing these out.) While questionable choice of reality TV aside, I do think this is a fascinating beat for Kurt -- he’s internalizing all of his issues. Maybe it’s cause no matter how far he gets in his life, and partially cause he does have super involved in themselves friends, Kurt’s not one to reach out when he’s got issues. THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING KURT!!
You wanna know why Kurt and Blaine break up a second time? Cause Kurt pretty much sucks at letting people know he’s struggling with something. He thinks he can fix everything himself, and you know what? You can’t sweetie -- so talk to people!
Well -- here he gets to talk to June, and let’s it out that he’s feeling a little left behind lately. Santana’s starring in vaginal cream commercials, Mercedes’s is becoming the next Beyonce, Blaine has found a sugar mama, and Rachel has already hit her mid-40s where she’s fucking up her Broadway career for a shot at TV. And Kurt feels like he’s gotten nowhere. Which -- yeah he hasn’t. And that’s not a bad thing, not really, since he’s the only one on a sure and steady course, but when everyone around you feels like they’re miles ahead in their lives, it can feel heavy being the only one not /there/. (I getcha kiddo, I really do.)
Also - I think it’s hilarious that he says he’s the mother in a Nancy Myers movie. (That is so Kurt, and so Chris.) And, god, yeah, let someone else take over handling Rachel. Geez.
Kurt then finds out that his therapy session is with /The/ Maggie Banks -- the woman who once starred in the worst Broadway show of all time, a musical about Helen Keller. (Eesh) And after being awkwardly asked to come back to the home, she invites him back to watch them rehearse. Sure - why not, he doesn’t have anything else to do.
Look at what a happy little goober he is -- he’s gonna hang out with old people!
Broadway Bitches
Oh Broadway Bitches. I have a heancanon that Chris came up with this at 2 in the morning and immediately texted Ashley cause he thought it was so funny. Is it clever? Yes. Is it something I’d use as a name for an organization dealing with kids? No... But moving on...
Can I just reiterate that Santana as a publicist is hilarious. Also her line -- ‘a designer so fancy I can’t even pronounce his name, there’s hardly any vowels’ is a line Chris probably came up with way back on the season 1 press tour and never got to use.
Anyway - to rehabilitate her image, Rachel, Santana, and Mercedes are going to do a show. And Kurt wants in -- cause Chris remembers continuity and Dani’s off doing roller derby and Elliott’s at a yoga retreat so no more One Tree Hill. You know - I hate to say this - but I kinda see why he’s not invited here, cause it is about imaging - but they don’t have to be such awful people about telling him no.
Santana actually says if he’s there he’d probably pull focus which is a) meta and b) probably true. But Kurt’s rightfully hurt. They get to continue to roll around in their self-involvement while Kurt gets to be shoved aside. Again.
I’m kinda surprised Kurt hasn’t taken up a drinking problem at this point.
Memories
So Kurt goes to check out the retirement home. They’re getting ready for their production -- and there are three different headshots of Maggie on that board. Just saying. Kurt thinks it’s pretty cool. And I mean -- I think there is a cool story there to be told about actors who are now considered over their prime when in fact they’re still awesome and kicking butt.
This episode is going to be a bit heavy handed about it -- cause as much as I love Chris, he’s incredibly heavy handed in his writing -- but it’s a nice sentiment. And I do think it’s proper that Kurt would be infatuated with stars of old.
I don’t really have any thing to add -- it’s just a nice shot of Kurt. He’s amused by this sweet little production.
Also! I suppose it’s time to bring up Billy Dee Williams and Tim Conway, who have really minor roles in this episode. I kinda wish they were in it more - their characters are a bit fun.
And then the woman who plays Peter dies. Okay, so I kinda find the dark humor funny. (Also Chris-ism.) It’s fine guys. I’m sure she had a delightful life.
After the commercial break, and after Maggie’s irritation that the dead woman was selfish for dying and ruining the production, we get some more heavy handed commentary about how old people need a reason to keep on living. Which -- is fine? Chris not to edit your script but you gotta work on more showing and less telling
And then we get this weird beat of Tim Conway wanting to sit on the chair. Move kid - it’s his chair! idk. I think it’s funny?
Kurt claims he can fill in, unless they have rules against that. They only really have two rules -- a) don’t loose your teeth and b) take the correct meds. Sure. The guy claiming he was a pterodactyl however steals the show with his delivery. It’s absolutely hilarious.
Meanwhile - Kurt goes on to say how much he adored Mary Martin’s Peter Pan back in the day (which explains a lot. Also Chris-ism. Five bucks that was one of Chris’s favorite movies as a kid.) Anyway - he also still sings like a girl so he can totally take it on.
The retirement home has standards so they have to at least have to hear him sing -- which is great! Cause Kurt always carries around sheet music just in case, lol. That’s such a Glee-esque line. What?
And then Kurt sings a perfectly adequate version of Memory from Cats.
Okay - I don’t have a lot to say about it, tbh. It’s nice, Chris sounds just fine on it -- and I’d guess this would be his last solo of the series if Maggie didn’t come in at the end. But, you know, the song is more about cherishing the memory of these actors -- and people in general who are worth remembering for their great accomplishments - even if they aren’t doing as such any more. Again - a nice sentiment. But I don’t really have anything to meta about on Kurt.
Also I don’t like this song (I’m sorry! don’t send me hate mail).
By the end - Kurt’s inspired everyone to get up and keep on living. And has proven to himself that he can handle Andrew Lloyd Weber.
Btw - the couple of guys dressed up as the lost boys are super cute.
Homocchio (Ha!)
The scene before this, btw, is Rachel being dragged by dogs a block. I mean - it’s funny, yes, but also, c’mon -- are you really going to tell me it’s not at least a little bit of payback?
Anyway - Kurt bounces in to let Rachel and Santana know that he’s scored the role of Peter in a retirement home’s production of Peter Pan -- to which they are like - eh, okay, nice try Kurt. And well, Kurt doesn’t take that too well. I mean, sometimes a role is a role -- and Kurt’s obviously excited about it -- so if you’re a good friend, you suck it up and at least congratulate your friend. I mean seriously. But this is Rachel and Santana - Santana mocks him and Rachel gets incredibly self-involved. This has been the case since season 1 - so I’m not sure what Kurt was expecting.
Kurt asks them to go - but they say no. Santana’s honest about it being dumb, but Rachel claims she has her image to keep up and her stuff is more important. And Kurt finally lets her have it -- he’s right, she calls him day and night to fix her shit, but when is she ever there for her? Honestly, this rant could have gone on for another five minutes. It’s nice to see that I’m not the only one irritated by the unbalanced Hummelberry dynamic that’s been going on since season 3.
Kurt storms out of there cause seriously, he’s had enough.
Dress Rehearsal
Hey - it’s time for an awkward dress rehearsal with some pretty entertaining jokes and some more heavy handedness about how you’re only as young as you feel. I don’t think it’s a bad idea -- but does every scene have to have a speech about it?
Anyway - Kurt’s sweet in his attempt to inspire them and himself, and suggests updating the music.
Btw - there’s this line: Ever since you were a question on Jeopardy, you’ve been a know-it-all. (ha! that made me laugh)
And then we get some back story on Maggie - how she sends herself flowers because her daughter is estranged. And Kurt feels sad. I mean there’s some stuff in there about how Maggie’s daughter is like Kurt’s friends -- not really there when needed, which again, is a nice parallel. I’m just not really fond of Kurt feeling like he’s gotta fix things with Maggie instead of trying to fix things with his friends. YMMV.
I Hate This Scene - Yup, I’m Going With That as a Header
So - Kurt claims he caused an oil spill in a national park and gets himself in to see Maggie’s daughter. Oh my god - Kurt, no... At least Clara directly calls security (one guy - cause it’s Kurt) and then when Kurt claims it’s about his mother -- she thinks he’s ‘dating’ her to get her money.
Oh, god, Chris, why did you write this scene??
So here’s my real issue. The crux of it is about Kurt trying to get Clara to see her mom again cause Maggie misses her so much. But Clara tells him that basically -- Clara was emotionally abusive to her, which is why Clara doesn’t go see her. And then Kurt gives a song and dance about why she should just get over that -- and omg NO KURT NO!
Look - I get the sentiment here -- that we should maybe try to make amends before it’s too late. But - Clara made the healthy choice of cutting out an abusive family member and looks like she’s just doing fine on her own. And to have a stranger, who has no understanding of the situation come in an tell you to try to fix it is over stepping like whoa. Kurt is so in the wrong here - and I can’t even a little bit defend him.
This story would have worked just fine if Maggie had her regrets and talked to Kurt about living his life and not having them -- it wasn’t needed for Kurt to fix Maggie and give her a happy ending. Stories don’t always need to have happy endings to make their point.
Anyway - Clara rightfully throws him out. But not before Kurt goes on to talk about how his mom died and he wished he’d had one - so she should be grateful that she does. And be the better person and take care of Maggie now that she’s old - even if she sucked as a parent. Again - no - this is also emotional manipulation. Kurt, no! Stop! This scene is just... no!!
I am glad that Clara just doesn’t say anything and gets him out of there.
My Old Ladies Are Better Than Yours
To make up for the atrocity that was that previous scene - we get a Klaine scene that is really quite beautiful in its simplicity. Chris didn’t have to put this in here -- but he did, and I’m grateful, because it’s sweet and warm and old married-like, and while Blaine really isn’t in this episode, I’m glad that they were allowed to have this small moment and leave the drama for someone else to write.
So -- Blaine jokes that he’s missing stuff with June to be there for Kurt -- but ultimately, of course he’s there for Kurt. Because he’ll always be there for Kurt. Like I said earlier -- this story is more about Kurt’s issues with Rachel (and himself for feeling like he’s going nowhere) more than anything having to do with Blaine.
I do think it’s interesting that Blaine comments on how happy Kurt’s been -- and how that hasn’t been the case lately. I like that Blaine’s checking in, even if Kurt isn’t fully open. Kurt admits that he feels like this role is finally a step forward in his life, and being with the retirement group is giving him something that he’s been missing -- but I do think there’s an underlying sadness that Kurt’s not addressing.
Kurt’s not opening up to Blaine about his insecurities and his feelings -- and that is going to cause a problem. While they are mostly fine -- I do think Kurt’s continued withdrawal from admitting how he feels is going to blow up in his face later. Communication is key, guys, do it!
How adorable is Kurt in this outfit? :)
The other thing I really love about this scene is the casual intimacy of familiarity. They are an old married couple in this scene -- from Blaine helping Kurt with his costume, to Kurt telling Blaine to sit a row back cause Gladys can’t keep solids down. It’s not in-your-face affection - it’s light touches and smiles and I really love that during this arc they finally allowed Klaine to have that.
Peter Pan
Before the show - Kurt asks Maggie if she’d like to be his family, since their own families are too busy for them. It’s a sweet moment - but I’m also like -- Kurt, seriously -- talk to your friends!! But yeah, sometimes you do need to carve out your family where you can find it. Non-tradition is an okay thing.
For reasons I don’t fully understand, Kurt breaks down and calls Rachel -- apologizing for yelling at her (seriously?) and tells her he hopes her own show goes alright. Kurt’s a good egg. Rachel’s lucky to have him as a friend.
She rushes him off the phone -- but only because she’s sitting with the rest of the gang waiting for his show to start. And he’s stupidly excited. See -- they love you Kurt -- they do!! (Plus, it’s my headcanon that Blaine had something to do with rounding them all up...)
And... then we get the whole reason Chris wrote the episode -- so he could fly around as Peter Pan while singing Madonna’s Lucky Star, with an entourage of old people in the background. Lol. The whole thing is cute and ridiculous and cute. And of course, it works for the show, and gives a chance to Chris Kurt to completely geek out. I mean, yes, I know, Kurt in that costume, but the old people are also ridiculously adorable in this scene.
I’m not sure about the whole old people turning into little kids thing (man with the heavy handedness, the metaphor works fine without it) but it’s nearly blink and you miss it, so I won’t really even comment.
Clara ends up showing up and reconciling with Maggie. And I have a cold, dead heart because the scene just doesn’t work for me. Like I said earlier -- not everything has to have a happy ending.
But at the end of the day, this show is still Glee.
But the important thing is that Kurt’s friends all showed up. Rachel gushes that some day they’ll be old folks in a home (eesh) and Sam goes straight for the crotch to comment on the harness squeezing, um, things, lol. But ultimately - Rachel’s set it up so that the old folks can come do the performance again -- so we can combine old people with puppies and could this episode be any cuter? The only thing missing is aliens.
Kurt: What do you say, Maggie, you think you got a second act in you?
Maggie: I never used to believe in second acts. But you’ve proven me wrong.
Omg. Chris - this should be your submission for a place on the staff of a Disney show.
Take Me Home
See -- look how adorable?
After a rousing speech from Rachel about being shallow is dumb and you should care about things that are bigger than you are -- they break out into a chorus of Take Me Home. And this is where I appreciate Lea Michele - because she’s able to sell the incredibly cheesy dialogue better than June Squibb. I mean, look, I like cheesy - I do -- but it’s dialed up to 11 in this episode. Chris, I love you to death, but you don’t have to try so hard to get your point across <3
I’m sorry if I came off as extra harsh about the episode -- I don’t think it’s bad, and it’s certainly better than about half the other episodes of the show. I think it’s just me nitpicking - cause I do adore Chris and I really want him to push himself to be better. This is a great first try, and I really do hope he gets more tries in the future -- cause I do think he has potential. I just want someone there to soften the rougher edges of his writing. That’s all.
And the episode ends with a mutual love fest for everyone. Cause it’s not a true Glee ending without everyone barfing glitter and rainbows. Lol, I’m only half being facetious - it’s cute, and a little wrong about Rachel, but fits the episode perfectly.
Oh my goodness - one more season 5 episode left...
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The World We’re Gonna Make
Some background info/a look at the characters in my Orphan Au verse. If you want to read more about their adventures, there are two stories that have been posted to go along with it so far, which you can read here and here
Logan Lockerman:
- He’s the oldest (by a couple of months but still)
- He’s very protective over the others and worries about them constantly, he’s basically the Mom Friend
- Placed in the system when he was born, has no idea who his parents are and doesn’t give a shit either
- He’s trans, which was something he discovered when he was like three (Patton helped him choose his new name)
- People always tell him he’s too young to really know though and so most adults refuse to call him Logan or use the right pronouns.
- Logan almost always corrects them though even if it makes his situation worse because he does not have a chill, someone please stop him
- Thomas calls Logan the right name/uses the right pronouns from the start which helps with trust
- Literally is the biggest troublemaker ever, because he’s stubborn as fuck and also refuses to follow any sort of rule he thinks is stupid or unfair. Has his own agenda in life, most of which revolves around keeping Patton, Roman, and Virgil safe and with him at all times, and will do whatever it takes for that to happens
- Gives zero shits what anyone thinks about him (except he sort of cares what Patton, Roman, and Virgil think and eventually Thomas too)
- He’s the honorary grandson of a knitting club that meets in the library every Wednesday night. They all love him and his rebellion, especially once they see him interact with Pat, Ro, and V, and are always giving him tips on how not to get caught. They’ve taught him how to knit although he doesn’t admit that, and help him whenever he needs to do something he maybe shouldn’t
- They’re also totally chill with him being trans and are willing to fight people who say he is too young
- Literally the best role models ever, I love them
- A tol boy. Even at 12 he’s already v tall and still growing. None of his pants fit him anymore, so Thomas has to take him shopping after he takes them in just so that he has something that fits
- Used to cut his own hair when it got too long with a little help from Patton, and while it always looked a little messy it was better than the dysphoria caused by long hair
- He gets his first real haircut after moving in with Thomas when Patton asks to borrow scissors to cut Logan’s hair and Thomas offers to book an appointment with an actual hair stylist instead
- Is a huge fucking nerd who loves space and would love to be an astronaut except that it would require him to leave the others and he’s too attached to do that (although he would never admit that because “ew, feelings”
- “VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU”
- Likes watching the stars when he’s stressed, it calms him down.
- He also likes talking about the stars with the others when they’re upset, it’s basically the only way he knows how to calm them down. It works most of the time.
- Also is really fascinated by the ocean but hasn’t spent a lot of time studying it. It lowkey scares him as much as it fascinates him.
- Maybe wants to be a marine biologist, who knows, he’s fucking 12 after all
- Self Care who? I don’t know her.
- Will fight his family if they don’t take care of themselves but he doesn’t do it himself
- A true disaster gay
- Would stay up all night studying if Patton could sleep alone. Sometimes he sneaks out of bed if Ro or Virgil joins Patton because of nightmares and will sit reading at his desk for hours until one of them wakes up and drags him to bed
- Has passed out his desk several times. Has literally zero regrets, unless Patton finds him and scolds him because Patton is good at making him feel guilty for doing that.
- Hella smart, which he uses to keep from getting caught doing things he shouldn’t
- Grew up too fast and never got to really act like a child because he always felt the need to protect the others from the day he met Patton
- Has trouble letting loose, even after they are taken in by Thomas, although slowly he learns to relax just a little, and there are rare times he completely lets himself go
- One of those times is when they visit the Planetarium and Science Museum, and Logan lets his enthusiasm and joy take over as he drags the others around to each exhibit, excitedly explaining everything he knows on each topic before they move on.
- A true Slytherclaw
Patton Morgan:
- The second oldest
- The softest puffball ever, unless you hurt his friends in which case he will fight you zero hesitation
- The Dad Friend who will adopt literally anyone who needs him even if they’re older than him it doesn’t matter, you’re still one of his kiddos
- Was given up when he was a few months old for unknown reasons, always has been curious about his parents but there’s no information to go on so he tries not to let it bug him. Besides he has his own famILY and he loves them more than anything
- Gives the best hugs, and gives them all the time. Always greets people with a hug, even if it hasn’t been the long since he last saw them
- Has trouble sleeping alone so he usually sleeps with Logan especially when they were kids.
- Loves all animals, especially cats, even if he’s allergic and cannot resist helping an animal in need. He’s gotten in trouble quite a few times for hiding injured wild animals in his room that he was nursing back to health
- Animals love him just as much back, everywhere he goes he attracts them like a fucking Disney Princess
- Not as much of a troublemaker as Logan, doesn’t like breaking the rules or making others upset with him, but will do it when necessary, usually to protect his family
- Loves to bake and taught himself to do so with a bit of help from Logan when he was 7. Always gets in trouble for baking unsupervised, and has burned himself more than once by getting distracted
- Tried to cook once and ended up almost setting the kitchen on fire. He’s not allowed to cook anymore.
- Loves to draw and is actually pretty good at it, but thinks of it as more of a silly hobby than anything else (as in he doesn’t think he’s that great but he others strongly disagree)
- Owns way too many coloring books that he likes to share with the others when they’re stressed, it’s the ultimate relaxation technique
- Looks on the bright side of life and tries to keep a positive attitude as much as possible.
- Loves make others happy it is his favorite past time
- Shorter than Logan but not by much. He’s covered in freckles and has curly dirty blonde hair that’s almost always messy and impossible to tame but in a cute way
- He’s adorable and he knows it and uses it to keep himself and his family out of trouble
- Convinced Logan to get matching glasses because he thought it was cute
- Has a super pretty singing voice but always gets really shy about it and insists it’s not that good
- Spends a lot of time threatening to fight his friends for not believing in themselves or thinking they’re not good enough/good at something, but also is a major hypocrite because he always talks down about himself
- Needs! To! Learn! Self! Love!!
- Wears his heart on his sleeve and always feels every emotion like, 10000%, which leads to him getting hurt a lot and the others threatening to beat people up
- Used to get bullied until Logan found out, afterward which everyone was too scared to even look at Patton wrong because Logan is hella fucking protective when he needs to be
- Loves Christmas, to the point where as soon as Halloween is over he’s blasting Christmas carols and watching Christmas movies, he even makes his own decorations out of paper because that’s all they have and covers everything with cheer
- Has a journal where he writes all the good stuff that happens every day which helps cheer him up when he’s sad
- Aggressively loves you tbh
- Cries when he’s angry/frustrated, which often makes people think that he is weak/they need to baby him
- Does Not need to be treated like a child, he can take care of himself perfectly fine thank you very much
- Never is ashamed to admit when he does need help, which is why he gets frustrated when people don’t believe him when he says he can handle something
- Good at reading people and always knows what they need to hear when they need to hear it
- Has the best puns
- An honest to god Slytherpuff and it’s terrifying
Roman Creasy:
- The baby
- The smolest child, will actually fight you if you point it out though
- Was raised by a single mother until he was 5, it had always been just the two of them and they were really close so he was super upset when she died
- She was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. Roman walked away with only a few cuts and bruises
- Roman doesn’t really like riding in cars and gets antsy when he has to be in them too long as a result
- Learned from an early age that nothing in life comes for free so if you want your dreams to come true you have to work for them
- Believes that anything is possible if you’re willing to put in the effort, no dream is too big even when others say it’s unrealistic
- Wants to be an actor on Broadway and has since he was two and his mom took him for the first time to the local theater. He fell in love instantly with the music, the dancing, the sparkling lights, and declared that that was what he wanted to do
- He spends a lot of time practicing even though others don’t always see it like that. He’s always singing, dancing, trying to get better, every story he tells is a performance because he’s practicing for being on stage
- Loves all things Disney and will defend the movies to his grave, if you insult them in front of him you’ve made a mistake because he will go off on you
- His favorite princess is Mulan and his favorite prince Flynn Ryder
- One of the last things he has from before his mom died is the prince outfit she bought him for Halloween when he was five. It was too big then, and now it’s mostly falling apart, but he still wears the sash when he plays prince
- After Thomas takes them in, Thomas buys him a new costume that Roman wears basically all the time
- Is always covered in cuts and bruises from “Questing”, and from doing things like climbing trees he shouldn’t or climbing on top the monkey bars and falling off.
- Roman gets into a lot of trouble but usually on accident, he’s an act now think later sort of person, often times he sees rules as a challenge rather than something to be followed, and he doesn’t hesitate to save someone in trouble (He’s gotten into a few fights with bullies at school, Logan is proud and Patton just concerned).
- He writes stories all the time but will only share them with his family because he doesn’t think they’re that good.
- He also has the tendency to start things and never finish them because he just has a lot of ideas
- He carries a notebook around so that he jots down his ideas whenever they come to him so he doesn't forget them because his mind is just always going
- Whenever he has nightmares he’ll sneak into Patton and Logan’s room and depending on what it was about depends on who he wakes up for comfort
- Most of the time he wakes up Patton because a hug from him can cure basically anything and he’s the best at comfort
- When he dreams about his mom though he usually wakes up Logan because he needs the comfort of the mom friend
- Is adorable as fuck and knows it. His hair is a light brown and a little wavy, the ends are dyed red after he moves in with Thomas and he mostly keeps it pushed out of his face but when he gets really excited some of it falls in his eyes and it makes him look even more adorable, he has freckles on his face from the sun but that’s it.
- He’s almost always happy and excited and is like the most precious child in the world, always ready for adventure, he’s basically like a puppy I love him.
- He’s really smart but has trouble sitting still and learning, but Logan helps him out by taking the time to explain things in a way that keeps Roman interested and at a pace he can understand
- Took dance classes before his mother died and really wants to take them again, but he also doesn’t want to bother Thomas by asking so he just tries to teach himself from videos he sees online
- Thomas catches on at some point and signs Roman up for classes and Ro cries he is so grateful
- Pretends that he’s super confident and bulletproof and like nothing can hurt him, but is actually really sensitive and takes everything that people say to heart
- Craves validation and being praised which leads to him going out of his way to get attention
- Is such a people pleaser. He wants everyone to like him and gets upset when they don’t
- Needs to be protected he is literally so pure
- Self-identified Gryffindor willing to fight you about it, but could easily be Ravenclaw or Slytherin
Virgil Antley:
- The newest to the family, he’s only been with them about five months before Thomas takes them in
- The second youngest, about 6 months older than Roman
- They are all very protective over him, literally the other three would kill for Virgil without a second thought.
- An anxious babe, but also really soft and sweet.
- Just wants to be loved tbh
- Cries when people yell at him.
- Usually assumes if someone is mad it’s his fault and tries to apologize even if they’re not mad at him
- Because of his anxiety there’s a lot of times that he can’t talk, so Logan taught them all sign language so that they communicate when Virgil has trouble speaking
- Was put into the system after his parents were arrested for drug charges and stayed at the same group home as the others for 4 months while his parents went to rehab and tried to prove they were fit to have a kid again
- Got really attached to the others after Logan calmed him down from a nightmare talking about stars and then Patton cuddled him until he fell back asleep.
- It took him a little longer to warm up to Roman cause he’s so loud and excitable, but after Ro fell asleep on him one night Virgil decided he didn’t mind him so much
- Virgil is highly protective over Roman, and will fight anyone that touches him.
- They bicker a lot and can be sort of mean to each other but in a playful way and if anyone else said the things about Ro that Virgil did (or vice versa), Virgil would kick their ass
- After 4 months had passed his parents came to take him home and Virgil doesn’t really want to go but there’s literally nothing the others can do.
- Logan yells and throws a fit because there’s clearly something off, no kid should be afraid of their parents like Virgil is of his but there’s literally nothing they can do
- Two weeks later Virgil’s parents get arrested for child abuse after Virgil misses like three days of school and they come to his house to find him locked in the basement covered in bruises
- He had a broken arm and quite a few bruised/cracked ribs from where he fell (was pushed) down the stairs and a concussion, as well as being dehydrated from being locked up for so long without food or drink.
- The three boys sneak into the hospital to see him when they find out and refuse to leave Virgil’s side until he’s discharged and eventually the doctors give in because it would honestly just cause Virgil more trauma at this point to remove them then to let them stay
- He returns to the group home after a few days in the hospital for about a week, until someone (Thomas) offers to foster him so that he could get access to the care he really needed to recover from the trauma
- Which leads to Thomas taking in all four boys after he sees them together and decides they can’t be separated
- Before meeting the others Virgil was pretty touch starved, so afterwards he becomes super clingy and is usually always in physical contact with at least one of the others in some form. It also helps calm him down and keep him grounded when his anxiety is !!!!
- Learned to play the piano from his music teacher when he was 5 and was basically a natural.
- By the time he moves in with Thomas, who has a piano in his living room, he hasn’t played in over a year and it takes him a while to actually work up the courage to do so again, but he’s still just as good.
- He wants to learn other instruments when he gets older, but right now hasn’t decided exactly what yet
- Average height for his age, but also too skinny thanks to neglect. On the paler side, but not necessarily in the way that looks unhealthy, it’s just his skin tone.
- Likes to hide behind his fringe (which is dyed purple thanks to Thomas) because it makes him feel safer. He usually wears an oversized hoodie for the same reason
- Has the cutest fucking puppy eyes that you cannot resist and melts even the most frozen of hearts
- Is honestly a really chill child, especially compared to Roman who is sort of high demand, he doesn’t require much attention on a day to day basis but he does like it when he gets some
- Has a curious side that he doesn’t show a lot because anxiety, but like as he becomes more comfortable around the others he starts asking more questions.
- Once he gets started, its hard to get Virgil to stop asking questions, he always wants to know more, partly for the fun of it, partly because the more knows the more his anxiety is eased
- Likes science because it’s a lot about asking questions and trying to find answers.
- Logan and Virgil have gotten into a lot of questionable situations in the name of science
-Tbh he’s a Griffinclaw but he will literally fight you over that
Thomas Sanders:
- The foster dad who takes the boys in
- In a constant state of s t r e s s
- Is Trying His Best with mild success
- There are good and bad days, though he likes to think there’s more good than bad over time
- Just wants the boys to be happy healthy children who aren’t worried about things they shouldn’t be, like not getting food or being separated or being punished for giving their opinion
- Although yelling isn’t the best way to share your thoughts, Logan, there is a polite way to disagree with someone especially if they’re willing to listen to you there’s no need shout
- A pure soul
- Often bites off more than he can chew because he just wants to help others out and make them happy
- Signed up to be a foster parent so that he could help out kids in need
- Virgil was supposed to be his first foster kid, alone, but when Thomas met the others (and maybe was threatened a bit by Logan and Patton) and saw the four of them together he decided he was going to take all of them
- A lot of people think he’s crazy for taking on four kids his first time, especially when all of those four kids are known for making trouble and/or were dealing with effects of various types of trauma
- Thomas thinks he’s crazy a lot of the time too, but at the same time these boys are worth it
- A high school music teacher who also helps out a lot with theater, also basically the coolest teacher in school everyone loves him
- He learned sign language after he decided to be a teacher because he figured it could help out with students/parents/siblings
- Acts whenever he has a chance at the local theater downtown
- He takes the boys there one Saturday and Roman falls in love instantly
- Honestly one of the things that helps Roman open up to him
- Does his best to support the boys however he can, like getting Logan new clothes and a haircut, buying Virgil sheet music and letting him use the piano, taking Roman to dance classes, and very easily being talked into adopting a dog by Patton (He had been debating on doing it anyways, and Pat had a good point it might help the others open up and trust him more and also help Virgil relax a bit)
- Is super excited/proud whenever one of the boys opens up to him a little or even when they just start to relax more in his presence
- Almost cries the first time Virgil talks to him tbh because it’s such a big deal
- Loves to do things that makes the boys happy and spends so much time trying to figure out what they each enjoy so that he can take them to those things
- He tries his best to accommodate each one of the boys and their little quirks
- Like that he shouldn’t ever raise his voice around Virgil and to make sure he gives the boy extra reassurance when something went wrong
- Or that the best way to get Roman to do anything, even the things he didn’t want to do, was to make it seem like a quest of some sort
- Realizes early on that Patton hated being treated like he couldn’t take care of himself so he lets him have independence first, and when he does offer help makes it clear it’s not because he doesn’t think Patton is capable, but because he just likes to help
- Picks up on the fact that Logan shoves aside his own needs and wants to put the others first, so he makes it his mission to give Lo gentle reminders to take care of himself, steps in when he gets too stressed and gets him to relax, and encourages him to indulge in the little pleasures he otherwise wouldn’t.
- Before the boys move in with him, Thomas doesn’t cook a lot, he doesn’t really know how and with his schedule and school there wasn’t always a lot of time, but when he takes them in he makes an effort to start cooking more, and although it’s a bit of a disaster at first with the help of Logan (who treats cooking like a science), between the two of them they manage to figure it out and soon it becomes pretty rare that they set off the fire alarm
- Patton teaches Thomas how to bake!! It’s really cute, and it’s one of the ways they bond from the very beginning.
- Thomas is open from the start with the boys that this is just as much of a learning experience for him as it is for them, all of them are in this boat together trying to figure out how it works and the best way to go about things, they might make mistakes but it was okay because none of them were perfect
- Still, Thomas always gets upset with himself every time he says/does something that sets back the progress he’s made with the boys. He tries not to let them see that though because he doesn’t want them to blame themselves.
- Loves his boys from the moment he meets them, lowkey wants to adopt them after a few weeks but like is too scared to bring it up because he doesn’t want to scare them off
- The Best Dad
- A Hufflepuff through and through
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Stalker Songs, for Your Valentine
Although folks have posted online their favorite “stalker songs” from the pop/R&B category before, I don’t think we can ever get enough of these treasures. So here are some more. A lucky #13 of them, at that.
This list evolved after I heard a certain song in the car while driving recently (2019). I thought, “This is a perfect stalker song.” Of course that thought led me to ponder what other songs might make the list of “Greatest Stalker Songs” in pop/R&B music. I enlisted the support of a friend of mine, Scott (known here as “headonaplatterboy”), and together we compiled a completely incomplete list of stalker songs, which I have decided to rank according to my own thoughts, experiences, and tastes. Thus, what you see here is the work of two people who know a smattering of good music, and a whole lot of not-so-good-music, but we both believe that stalker songs happen to fall on the “good music” end of the spectrum. We both also happen to agree that this list is a perfect Valentine’s Day gift for any of you Valentine’s Day cynics out there, like Scott and myself. What do you think? Please consider the list — go online and listen to any ones you don’t know — and then add your contributions if you so desire. You can even re-order my list according to your own tastes.
13. “Hungry Like the Wolf” — Duran Duran: Here he comes, with a “howl” and a “whine,” he’s “after you”! Yes, that’s Simon LeBon of Duran Duran doing his best to nab his object of desire. Good luck, wolfman. I’ve heard that when the band originally tried to pitch this song, DJs and the like were like, “Meh,” but in the end, it became Duran Duran’s first hit, and a top 10 hit at that. The predatory nature of the song helps — it relentlessly pushes towards its goal, ever on the hunt; just like the song itself, it does not give up, stinky and all (“smell like I sound”), in its quest for the Top 40. And it made it.
12. “One Way or Another” — Blondie: Girl power, my friends! And girl-with-an-agenda-power, at that. Deborah Harry stands tall as one of the premium women in rock, and she has left a definite, blonde-colored imprint on rock history. However, in this song, she simply rocks, and she gives her listeners an idea of how determined she is. This song even has a snarky little side-bit about catching the object of her prey only to “give [it] the slip,” because she can chase it down, play with it, then dump it. Great stalking technique and certainly a plus for women turning the tables on creepy guys.
11. “I Want You” — Elvis Costello: Ouch. This one starts out as a beautiful ballad, then a couple minutes in, a jangly guitar chord changes the scene entirely. That ballad turns into a nasty, twisted, ever-obsessive rant on a love gone astray, and the singer’s need to get that love back. The chorus line “I want you” sounds so desperate and hostile towards the end that it’s hard to hear without cringing. Costello knows all the tricks on writing great songs; he does not fail here.
10. “I Put a Spell On You” — Screamin’ Jay Hawkins: Love this — perfect stalker material. The lyrics contain almost what I would think of as the FBI profile for “stalker,” but never mind that. Hawkins sings the song with sorcerous mastery — no escaping the voodoo magic here. His voice draws out the menace and the all-encompassing, Halloween-like “I’m Coming To Get You” vibe. In short, this one gives me chills, so the stalker threat is real, my friends.
9. “I Will Possess Your Heart”— Death Cab For Cutie: This song has a repetitive assuredness that kind of jangles one’s nerves (mine at least). Ben Gibbard sings nearly every line of the song as an address to his “love,” so that the song takes on an almost hypnotic effect: a siren tune that impels the listener to “believe me,” in a magical sense. The bass background tells a more sinister story — it has an ominous quality, and with the addition of the piano — the minor keys playing on top of that bass — well, something wicked this way comes, no matter the reassurances the singer conveys. Good freaky-factor there, and the band name helps.
8. “This Tornado Loves You” — Neko Case: A song that has all the innocence and earnestness of a crush behind it, except for the fact that the crush is literal: it’s a tornado that chases down the object of the singer’s favor with one of the most destructive forces on the planet. Bodies, houses, fields, livelihoods are all sacrificed in the search for that hidden someone. Case does a nice job of playing the nice girl, but in the end, she’s a tornado. One heck of a destructive stalker, there.
7. “Run For Your Life” — The Beatles: No pop/R&B “best of” list can contain a song without the Beatles, because the Beatles covered all the bases, and because they covered them expertly. John Lennon sounds utterly monomaniacal in this song — no room for argument or stepping out of line, because if so, “That’s the end, little girl.” The “little girl” characterization does not escape me; definitely Lennon weakens his prey by reducing her size and power. And the death threat that pervades this song gives it that extra “ooh, scary stalker!” edge, so kudos (yet again) to the Beatles for making the Stalker Chart with a quality entry.
6. “Don’t You Want Me” — Human League: This duet between lovers on the quits gives us the movie-version of a possessive maniac much like that in “Run For Your Life” who cannot conceive of the fact that his girlfriend is hitting the high road. A whole story appears here: the woman admits that the stalker helped turn her from a waitress into a star, but in her attempt to leave him and “live her life on her own,” her onetime savior turns stalker. He sings, “You know I don’t believe you when I hear that you won’t see me/….You’d better change your mind/ You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry!” The man’s hysteria increases as the song goes along, and as listeners, we get a bit frightened for the young woman’s future. Good stalking here; well done in duet-form — also a great, classic dance-tune that reached #2 in the U.S.
5. “Little Red Riding Hood” — Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs: This song gets a hundred gold stars for various moments of glory throughout. Sam the Sham goes for high drama in his delivery of the song, for one thing. At first, he sounds just like a cool guy on the street seeing a pretty woman pass by — “You sure are looking good” sung to a slinky, Kool Kat beat — and he goes on to warn this lady that a big, bad wolf might try to snatch her. Then Sam goes on to inform her that he’s not the bad wolf, at least not outwardly: he’s got his sheep-suit on, until he can be trusted. And then, somewhere thereafter, he turns ‘Baaaad” (sung like a sheep). C’mon, people, this song is genius, and a near-perfect example of stalker self-delusion in its proud revelation of the creep’s expert methods.
4. “(I Am) Superman” — REM: Admittedly, this is the song that started me doing some stalking of my own: i.e., finding the best stalking songs I could imagine (with the help of Scott). So, REM gets a relatively high ranking here because their stalking prowess is readily evident in this song. Every phrase of the music ends in a full stop, with the effect that listeners just cannot deny the dominance of this self-professed Superman. Written and delivered with such confidence and finality, I find it hard to argue that Michael Stipe is not Superman here. And he can see everything, the stalking madman. That’s a strong declaration, but I believe it.
3. “Vehicle” — Ides of March: You want a stalker song that has it all? “Vehicle” is your Uber, no pun intended. This song includes a go-for-broke introduction with a fantastic horn blast, plus a beat to get down to, but don’t forget: there’s danger here. This song brings us the “friendly stranger in the black sedan” (sounds like a hearse to me) who’s putting on the breaks beside you, rolling down the window, and trying to get you in that car with “pictures, candy” and the “lovable man” driving. Yikes! However, let’s be reverent. This is a religious stalker, because, as he puts it, in near gospel-like vocalization: “I want you; I need you; I want to got to have you child: Great God in Heaven you know I looooove you!” Bang!
2. “14th Street” — Laura Cantrell: Ha! Do not be fooled by the sweetness and shyness conveyed in this song. Despite the beautiful melody and Cantrell’s gentle, charming vocals, listeners cannot ignore the fact that “14th Street” is about a woman following her object of desire stealthily down the road. Sounds like stalking to me. The song makes it all the way to #2 on my list because it describes the potential stalker in all of us: at some points in all our lives, we just want to know what those whom we love are doing, but we don’t want them to know that we want to know.
1. “Every Breath You Take” — The Police: This is the G.O.A.T. of stalker songs because it is so sneaky. Sting may not have written it as a veiled love song, but it came out that way, to the extent that the public in 1983 snatched it up as one of the most romantic pieces of all time. Frequently played at weddings, unendingly played on the radio, one would not believe, perhaps, that this song is about a jealous lover surveilling his ex. Because the stalker’s guilt is so completely masked by the beautiful melody and seemingly loving, protective lyrics, this song ranks as the #1 stalker song on my list — it is the most successful stalker song, because to this day, it remains undercover as a favorite love song.
NB: I have left out several great songs -- some music-expert friends suggested a couple of George Jones songs, though since I am sticking to Pop/R&B, Ol’ Possum isn’t on my list -- but his stalking expertise is worth notice. Just let me know what you think of the list; what you’d add. It’d be great to cue up all these monsters on Valentine’s Day to provide the soundtrack for the holiday!
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Software Developer to Rapper to Children’s Book Author
Software Developer to Rapper to Children’s Book Author
A Quick Guide to Aaron Prohaska
Where did I start?
Life is a crazy path that can take you down many roads if you allow it. Today I turn 39 and when I look back I would have never expected most of the events of my life.
In high school, I was so nerdy and shy. By the end of my senior year I had only been on one date and never been kissed. I figured I would become The 40-Year-Old Virgin (thought that movie hadn’t even been thought of). The only thing I got right was that I would go into the computer trade.
The Software Developer
I became a software developer and worked for all kinds of industries: defense contractors, local government, insurance, printing, and a couple huge financial organizations. Even the most interesting of these, a satellite communication project, left me feeling like I’m just a cog in a wheel with little impact on the direction of the applications I create. More importantly, I had no control as to the type of impact I had on the world. I had to build what I was told to build.
Somewhere along the way I grew an appreciation for ghetto rap music. Though I didn’t fit the typical target demographic, I would sing along with my 12-inch sub woofers pounding away in my car. I liked the music because of a few reasons, the beats were strong, the vocal gymnastics were impressive, and it told a story about a side of life that I never experienced… a side of life that I didn’t know existed.
I have described my life as “Leave it to Beaver” on many occasions but even The Beav had challenges though his life would be considered easy by ghetto standards. Still, I wanted to take the genre of rap and apply it to my life. I had a plan, a two-album story with album one describing the challenges of my life with a follow up album to share my ideas on how to correct them. That is where I always felt rap fell apart. They did a great job of describing the issues but never shared a solution, at least not in the mainstream music on the radio. Middle Class Monotony was born.
The Rapper
I had a simple definition of success. Most importantly, I wanted my music to be available to the public from mainstream online music stores. Beyond that, all I wanted was to be interviewed.
It took from 2006 to 2010 to make Middle Class Monotony. Between 3 moves, 2 kids, and learning every inch of music production from scratch, it was a long and trying project. In the end, I was proud of what I created. The project concluded with 14 tracks, professional looking CD case, available on iTunes and Amazon, and 2 web sites. I had achieved the critical marker for success. It was time to sell the album. Though the marketing strategy didn’t work, it was at least an interesting story.
I had 1000 CDs printed. I would take 50 CDs at a time into stores like Walmart, Best Buy, and Target. I carried them in a reusable grocery bag. You may be wondering what the heck I was thinking, sneaking CDs into a store. I would put them in laptop bags, storage containers, and suitcases. Any place that a person would end up at home with a copy of the CD. I would move popular artists’ music CDs off main displays and put Middle Class Monotony in their place. I would even put them in the bread slots of toasters on display. Any place that would result in someone having the CD or creating a laughable scenario was fair game.
I never thought giving away CDs was the receipt of success but I thought creating a buzz was. I hoped that the stores would start finding the CDs and comparing how many they found between locations. I was hoping the story of finding the CDs would spread and news outlets would want to interview me, thus completing my second goal. Unfortunately, I didn’t think my actions through. I didn’t see the possible negative outcomes. I got a call from Walmart stating that a child found the CD and their parents were upset because the CD had a parental advisory sticker on it. I cannot confirm that the story was true but it was not my intention to upset people. Having said that, even bad publicity is still publicity. I embraced the mistake and created a “public service announcement” of sorts. I blasted all the local news outlets apologizing on behalf of Double A Records (my record label) to any families affected by the negligence of the record label. Channel 6 left me a message wanting to talk … I had my interview, I just had to make contact. The story goes south from there. We played phone tag and I never got that interview. I was so close.
I know the album wasn’t the best musical compilation. I never expected it to win awards and be embraced by the masses but I had hoped some people walking in shoes like mine would appreciate it. I don’t know if it is more important to sound good than be deep or if it is just impossible to create a viral movement; either way I didn’t have the following to warrant creating a second album. You never know, maybe I’ll come back to it.
The Writer
After Middle Class Monotony, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to share my inner thoughts in a marketable way. I still felt I had ideas to share. My first writing experience, from start to finish, was a screenplay called Seeking Singularity and entered it into the Academy Nicholl Fellowship contest. The contest didn’t produce much feedback and I didn’t have anyone in my life that could really help with producing a movie.
For many years my kids would ask me to tell stories while I was chauffeuring them from place to place. Their favorite stories were about our dog, Bosley. Well, the stories were about Bosley’s alter ego, Mountain-Time Country Dog. After some time, we even came up with a theme song. The family found a routine where the kids would request a new story then I would say, “no, no, I’m out of stories”. After a few minutes pause I would break out the theme song, “Mountain-Time, Little Mountain-Time, Mountain-Time Country Dog… In this adventure Mountain-Time…” and they would cheer and hoot and holler.
One day the kids asked me to write the stories down. What a great idea, so simple. Leading to this moment where I get to announce the first book in The Adventures of Mountain-Time Country Dog series, Mountain-Time Learns to Surf.
Where I had concern with my music, that it wasn’t good enough and that it was amateur, I don’t feel that way with this book. There was plenty to learn for sure. I had never illustrated before and I wanted to use my logical developer mind to create illustrations quickly. I researched different styles and landed on a combination of Elephant and Piggie, by Mo Willems, and South Park, by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I would keep the backgrounds to a minimum with just a couple of characters in each frame. The main characters would be built modular so that I can move pieces around to and put them in different positions quickly and easily. Because of this technique I could finish the first draft of the book within a couple months, which included learning the software I developed the book in. I’m excited to see the production time of the next book.
How do I know it’s a good book? How can I be objective with my own work? It’s tough, that is for sure so I had to hit the streets. I would take my Surface Book with me and when there were people sitting around with kids, not doing much, I would ask them to preview it. I even asked adults without kids to tell me what they think. The book targets 2nd and 3rd graders but I have found that kids as young as 4 enjoy looking at the pictures, pointing out different things they see. Older kids, my daughters age (11), find it deep enough to talk about the situations and still laugh at the silly images. Even the adults would laugh out-loud at times because I have thought of some oddball scenario. They usually follow up with, “how do you think of this stuff?”
There is a message in the book but as most children’s content goes, the parents and guardians should put context around it. There are not 3 easy steps to every solution for every situation, though that is all we have time to put into our stories of this age group. I have placed a section of author’s notes at the end of the book that are meant to strike up conversation. This means the book is meant to be read adult and child together.
Mountain-Time Country Dog exists outside of time. He can be anywhere and everywhere he is needed. The stories will have extremely silly situations but with a little context and a little discussion, they will dive into deep concepts… as deep as you want to dive anyway.
The Marketing Firm
My current role is that of the marketing firm. It isn’t my favorite role. I must be confident all the time. I must be available whenever someone is willing to talk. I get to be creative but in a way that can easily lead to a slimy feeling, like I’m trying to trick you into reading the book. I don’t want to do that.
There is a joke about a husband and wife where the husband leaves the hand towel on the counter and the wife wants it hung up. She finally gets fed up and comments. The husband says, “if you want the towel hung up just tell me to hang it up.” The wife replies, “I don’t want to force you to hang it up, I want you to want to hang it up.” I feel the same applies here, I want you to want to read the book.
The Human
So, I’m going to be honest and tell you everything. The good and the bad. I’ll share my ups and downs. I will tell you who I am as an adult, as a husband, as a father, as a man, and any other aspect living inside this brain of mine. I’m not going to be perfect but I’ll be real and I will share every bit of knowledge I have. I’m not in competition with other children’s books, I’m part of a community of writers. I look forward to promoting their books and their stories. Strength is displayed when we all work together and success is achieved when we all succeed.
As I achieve my goals with this book and can dedicate more of my time and money to it, you’ll see many more forums for which we can share our knowledge with each other. We will be an interactive society helping each other grow. So, check out Mountain-Time Learns to Surf and tell me what you like, what you don’t like. Let’s open a dialog. Go on Spotify or Soundcloud and check out Middle Class Monotony for free. You’ll see where I came from, though some of my mindset has changed since then. I’m not scared for you to see who I really am. I refuse to be the typical face of a product where I hide my faults to gain your trust.
Come along and lets go on this journey together.
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