#it was my first time doing it actually

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

a couple scribbles i cleaned up. also i think i like drawing him in varying states of distress

#i desperately want to know what happened the first time he cried #actually is that something he can do? is he capable of it? #i feel like he wouldn't like it... #since crying is messy and we all know he enjoys/values his appearance greatly #i mean cmon. its an involuntary loss of composure. and especially if he doesnt understand what/why its happening #so in my mind rn hed be idk... kinda desperate to stop crying & act fine? #HES SO FASCINATING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM <3 #many things probably! #what to do when you're a puppet created as a blank slate while everyone around you already Knows Shit and Understands Feelings #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #wally darling #i know there's a lot of Head Empty jokes abt him #but honestly he gives the vibes of thinking constantly #always absorbing information and considering and learning and Forming Opinions #he LOOKS head empty. but he isnt. #i just cant imagine him never not Thinking #unless he really is head empty in which case. good for him. i support him no matter what. hes just like me<3

[mjulmjul]

Katya / Goncharov

#yeah ik ive posted them before sorry but i REALLY like how these look together #martin scorsese #goncharov #artists on tumblr #illustration #unreality #<— posters for a ‘movie’ that doesn’t actually exist but is a tumblr meme in which everyone pretends it does&makes content for it #fascinating how we’re immediately personable w katya by knowing her first name while only knowing goncharov’s surname keeps us at a distanc #combined with him being the only major character to go by a moniker it emphasizes just how much he's been consumed by the role he plays #who is goncharov? does he know and keep it secret? or has he too lost his sense of identity? #it's reflected in these posters as we SEE katya but goncharov remains elusive - yet clearly time is running out for them both #lakjdklf ok im done now i never post meta on here so im having fun with the fictional movie #btw I updated both of the illustrations compared to the original posts but will leave those as they were #woudl be cool if my post showed up. u can do it tumblr

[critai]

4321

#kagerou project #kagepro #mary kozakura #kano shuuya #kido tsubomi #seto kousuke #my art #critai mine #WAUGHHDH !!!!!!! #happy 15th from the jst timezone #IM NOT DONE YET I SITLL HAVE 2 DRAW AYANO #bro this file crashed sm times AUGHDHH #edit: WAGH I FOUND OUT THIS WENT ON THE RADAR WTF #i remember when i first posted this i didnt have time to explain the comp process for this 1 and not that it was anything big just #felt like i had to explain kano's framing bc it does look wonky #p much that it's actually the outline of the yobanashi graffiti title in his mv :-) !!! #not sum fucked up hole lol #everything else i think it's p self explanatory www was abt to do mekakushi code for kido but i felt like shissou word highlighted her #character more so i went w that..!!! #and originally i was to draw mary as a separate piece and have the meka trio in another but i didnt have time... #which is fine bc sidu did the same thing in their art book also LMAO #mary's og concept was also the curtain idea but behind her would've ben her mom + maybe seto (imagination forest stuff) #thank u for the nice tags :"-DDD

[somegrumpynerd]

Thinking about how Nightmare has 4 mortals and 3 of them are so so bad at taking care of themselves

#UTDR #UTMV #My Art #Truce au #Killer Sans #Dust Sans #Cross Sans #Horror Sans #Nightmare Sans #''I don't feel like drawing a bunch I'll just do a quick silly doodle'' sits up until 1am finishing this #But this is about their bad habits not mine so #Killer and Cross are the worst offenders for sleep but they're pretty managable #Dust is the worst for food but Horror can coax him into enough food to get by #Horror was - for a short time when he first joined - Nightmare's clear favourite #Because he would actually ASK for things when he needed them #(Not that his joining didn't have problems of it's own but y'know #Nightmare was starting to expect it at this point) #I should ramble for 10 pages about the boys joining the gang someday #Not now cause I'm going to bed but y'know #Anyway goodnight gang!

[seawaveleo]

enjoying season 10 immensely

#keralis #impulsesv #xbcrafted #hermitcraft #hc s10 #hc10 #mcyt #fanart #digital art #art #waveleoart #(how is this my first actual fanart of something that happened in game (not presaved art)) #(probs bc of school lol - i’m trying not to procrastinate on film this year like last year by doing fanart but…) #(since my sleep schedule is so royally effed up tonight i will draw) #(it’s 4:23am when i’m writing this so if i get the time i’ll add the id tomorrow.. hopefully)

[sasswonfp]

This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)

#superman #batman #the flash #flash #wally west #bruce wayne #clark kent #justice leauge unlimited #justice league #abruptly I was hit with this joke when I made one abt myself being always 2 seconds away from crying and realised it worked oh so well #i had so much fun drawing this #esp bc i was really trying to find a good medium between my style and the jlu style #super blocky but also a bit more realistic than jlu #batman is so shape and i fucking love it #literally i just drew his outline i didn't even bother with the rest of it #gremlin fucking creature. man who is just an object #this is my first time ever doing like an actual attempt at dc- #homegrown art

[ruporas]

kisses of affirmation (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #ruporas art #oughrhhhh finally posting this here..... Very Romancey very Cutesy Very what do you call it... Indulging #for the longest time i debated on whether to post this comic at all on my socials - for some reason this was almost the limit to how far i #could push a romantic alternative that cusps ooc-ness for vw but then i ultimately decided its Fine. i couldv made it much more unbearable. #someone on twit qrt this with “vash is such a loser” which means i havent lost my way completely yet so its ok #(sidenote) script is a bit old !! bc this was meant to be a part two to an old comic..! the first kiss comic from feb #it branched off quite a bit that listing this as an actual part two would be kind of awkward now - but that was the initial intention #anyway. please enjoy! #long post

[endermagpieart]

What do you mean I’m a bit late for Janus’ big day? Of course not, how could you say such a thing! I definitely didn’t forget all about it in my absence and only get reminded in the incorrect quotes video live chat; that’s not like me at all ;]

Anyways I decided to dress our sassy snake in some different outfits I think he’d like. He seems like the type to get all dolled up on his birthday and it goes with Thomas posting pics in outfits inspired by the sides on their appreciation days!

@thatsthat24

#sanders sides #janus sanders #ts janus #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanart #my hoard #I’ve returned! #the newest asides came out and I remembered how much I love it #so I’m hyperfixated again and I’ve not now peace since #it is nice to actually finish something again tho #I’ve been pretty busy working lately and now I’m starting to pack to move into my first apartment! #so not much time to really sit down and draw #and when I do have time I can’t get the motivation to actually draw anything #I want to get better about posting stuff on here #(even though it feels like I’m just dreaming into the void a lot) #even just silly little things or rough sketches I’ll never finish #I hope it’ll help me continue to draw and make things again #I forgot how nice it is #anyways if you’ve read this far thanks #have a cookie :] 🍪

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

If I was in a lucid dream with a ghost, I would simply impress them with my blunt rolling skills

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs au #MDZS disco elysium au #This is brought to you by my Scrambled Egg brain - slowly burning up as I try to finish a long comic for this AU. #I hoped it would be done several days ago but I've changed things so many times....It is now Very Close to being done! #I probably should have just posted each page daily but at this point I'm just being stubborn. I want it complete and together. #Ruining the surprise a bit to say 'yeah its a digital art comic' #But its been tricky figuring out the style I want to use for it! #hence the swaths of MSpain(t) doodles that boil down to 'how would this look if I did X?' #I wanted to do a fully Black & White Ink style. But I scrapped it. Then I did small bits of colour. And scrapped it. Sigh. #This comic started out as just the first panel and then my brain went 'hold on. Its time to make a dumb joke' #Any disco elysium fans who finished the game probably know the scene I'm doing for the *actual* comic after seeing this <3 #Anyways I know in my heart LWJ would roll the worst blunts ever his first time. And then dedicate himself to the rolling craft- #-until he has finally mastered it. He would roll blunts so good that people would hire him and pay him a monthly salary for it. #But he declines. His master blunts are for his beloved and his beloved alone. #wwx would roll above average but after having lwj do it for him he can ever go back.

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[yourlocalabomination]

Tick Tock, Teddy-Bear.

#the bastards box wasn’t enough I had to trap this fucker in a hour glass #IM NEVER RENDERING GOLD AGAIN IN MY LIFE I DIDNT LEARN THE FIRST TIME- #anyway guess who’s not dead. sorry I disappeared for a hot sec as you might be able to deduce this one took a while #also life happened lol. I was doing this inbetween uni work a social life and being ill. #I’m not going to reveal how long this one took because I’m genuinly ashamed I put so much time into drawing Ted fucking Spankoffski #just know this might be the most amount of time and effort Iv ever put into a artwork in my entire life #I’m not too mad about it actually because I wanted to make one final big artwork before I turn 20 #ted spankoffski #theodore spankoffski #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #starkid fanart #fanart starkid #time bastard #starkid time bastard #time bastard nightmare time #nightmare time #starkid nightmare time #hatchetfield nightmare time #nmt #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #fanart #my art

[knit-happens]

Some mushroom socks!🍄🧦My best friend sent me a Finnish knitting pattern she found on pinterest which I google translated. The things I do for people 💖

The pattern:

[Image description: a pair of knitted mushroom patterned knee length socks. They have green cuffs, 5 rows of different shaped mushrooms in different colour combinations of brown, light beige and yellow, 2 rows of green leaves between the mushrooms and 4 rows of green leaves on top of the feet. The background colour of the socks is charcoal grey. The first image has the socks layed flat and the second image has the socks on feet. End ID]

#knitting #knit #knitblr #craftblr #mushrooms #socks #mushroom socks #i love her but she sure gives me stuff to do #blocked my knitting for the first time which was interesting #I might actually do that from now on.

[caiabresebun]

yeah fortnite we bout to get down

#atsv #miguel ohara #spiderman 2099 #spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #fanart #illustration #artists on tumblr #does the apostrophe even count in da tags.. ANYWAY. BEHOLD. MUSCLES #ive also been getting ripped actually i tore my shirt doing weights last week. mixed feelings #hate drawing miguel's stupid spider thingie but i used the lasso tool for the first time in my life... i get it now

[doresworld]

Being disabled means experiencing something terrifying health wise, but being uncertain if it’s hospital worthy

#dores world 🌍 #disability #disabled #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #disabled life #actually disabled #chronic disability #my sugars went to 3.8 for the first time ever and I don’t know what to do #I mean had some carbs and sugar so I’m just waiting to see what that does and I guess I’ll go from there #diabetes #diabetic

[andthebeanstalk]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

#original #the last unicorn #tlu #peter s beagle #molly gru #schmendrick #schmendrick the magician #two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first! #my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped! #no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different. #to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life! #but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol #because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb #the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!! #my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘 #i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful. #and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE #mostly zoro's blades from One Piece #normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and #then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU #and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele