#it was pretty hard for me haha but i still enjoyed it a lot

[spiral-man]

My self indulgent list of Entities and what I think my connection to them would be, let’s go:

The Eye-I believe I could be a good avatar of the Eye because I’m super nosy, and have always been told I ask to many questions and am to curious and also I’m a pretty open book myself.

The Spiral-If I had to Pick an Entity I think I’d be most likely to serve it would be the Spiral. I have a lot of mental health issues and I have a hard time figuring out what’s real and what’s fake within my perception, Also I’m Pansexual and Pangender and I have ADHD so….

The Flesh-Think I could definitely be at least marked by The Flesh due to a history of $elf Harm (getting better!) and my fondness for NBC Hannibal.

The Lonely-Depression and Anxiety make me prime real-estate for the lonely and I have a bad tendency of dwelling in my own misery at times and finding comfort in that which is what this entity feeds on.

The Slaughter-I’ve got some anger issues and have a bit of a violent tendency at times (working on it).

The Hunt-Used to (still do) love games like tag and hide and seek, I really loved the adrenaline rush those games give you, especially in the woods or something.

The Stranger-I have a bit of a hard time feeling human, I feel like I’m doing it wrong most of the time, like I’m just ever so slightly off compared to everyone else, like I’m just pretending.

The Web-Manipulative parents need I say more.

The Dark-Always loved the dark, find it very comforting.

The End-I’ve never been scared of death, I’ve had some past suicidal issues and now I’m currently studying to be a funeral director/embalmer.

The Desolation-My family has a history of Arson in the sense that one of my grandmas siblings almost burnt their house down because they liked to play with matches, my grandmas son did burn a playground down because he liked to play with matches and my grandmas granddaughter (me, hi) also has almost burnt her house down (multiple times) due to enjoying playing with matches.

The Corruption-Probably my worst fear, when I was younger I loved bugs but these day they make me so uncomfortable, thinking about them makes me itch, and similar idea with rot in general I just hate it, this fear would have a easy time feeding on me.

The Buried-Similar to the dark, I actually do not mind super confined spaces and in fact find them sort of comforting at times.

The Vast-I used to really love to climb trees but I could never get to high up because I was scared of how unsteady it felt, in general I like climbing shit to be up high but if it feels unstable I feel like I’m about to pass out.

the Exctinction-Lived through a pandemic and constantly being informed about different new events that could end the world.

If you read all this, hot damn I love you wow thank you so much haha, this was purely self indulgent as ive seen other people do it and I find the fears so interesting.

#tma #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #the 14 fears #robert smirke #smirke's fourteen #the eye #the corruption #the dark #the desolation #the end #the lonely #the vast #the spiral #the slaughter #the hunt #the flesh #the extinction #the web #the buried #the stranger #the magnus protocol #jonathan sims #tmagp #martin blackwood

[sudden-memory-loss]

Hi rhys! new mutual matthew here, I am going to go absolute ballistic in your inbox ^_^

please tell me about the subtle yet meaningful character development, please tell me how much the characters changed yet feel the same - from the start of the show through their powerful journeys. i NEED to know how much love they share, i need to know when or how they realize how much they care for one another, i need to know when the characters finally see the love between all of them and realize that they'll be alright.

i need to know about the dynamic of rodney and his sister, and i especially need to know literally everything about this show, enlighten me because i am putting stargate atlantis on my watchlist

okay okay I'm gonna be honest I was half asleep and emotional and had just spent a couple of hours reading sga fanfiction when I wrote all that but yes. yes. I can tell you more. by which I mean I am actually going to go on about rodney mckay for longer than would be socially appropriate for any other setting. thank you. (I do touch on everyone else and the show as a whole but I will be honest, most of this is about rodney skfjsh)

so the thing about rodney mckay (my favourite character in the show) is that he's an asshole. bear with me here. he's an asshole in a way that's actually so amusing and so clearly a (poor) cover up for how he's a mess of neuroses and not used to caring about other people or having them care about him.

he first shows up in the original stargate show (stargate sg-1) and lets say his performance is. poor. he basically suggested the team break the cardinal rule of stargate: don't leave anyone behind. certainly don't leave your teammember to be erased in the buffer of the stargate, but anyway. sg-1 is also a good show but that's another ramble.

the other thing about rodney mckay is that he's a genius. two phds: astrophysics and engineering. smartest person in two galaxies if he's to be believed (and quite honestly, he is). he's got an ego the size of a small planet, but he can back it up. he is absolutely as smart as he claims. he's usually the one pulling miracles out of his ass as sheppard yells at him to do it faster.

the other other thing about rodney mckay (oooh, look, complexities), is that he's a huge fucking wimp. absolute baby when it comes to any sort of physical danger. he has a deadly citrus allergy that he goes on about at every given chance and will absolutely run away if he thinks he can get away with it.

so that's baseline rodney mckay. possibly the most high strung person in the known universe with a genius level brain going a mile a minute at all times.

I don't know how to explain it succinctly. but the biggest change in rodney is about bravery and belonging.

in sg-1, rodney would have happily (well maybe not happily but certainly without question) had someone give up their life for his own. he hadn't yet gotten to the point of understanding how bonds like that are important.

by the end of the show, if it came down to it, rodney would die for atlantis. he would die for his team. but he also gained the trust that maybe, just maybe, they can get him out of the dangerous situations that he occasionally gets himself into in an effort to keep the rest of the team safe (or pure bad luck).

but believe me, he'll absolutely still bitch about it. he doesn't lose that annoying charm--and trust me, it is kind of charming. there are real assholes in sga (e.g. kavanaugh, ugh) and rodney is not that. rodney will call you an idiot while saving your life and kavanaugh will tell you that it's hopeless and you should give up. and also bullheadly tell you he's right even as he's oh so terribly wrong. rodney isn't wrong. well, rarely. he did blow up a solar system that one time but, you know, it was uninhabited.

that's one of my favourite things about rodney honestly. not the blowing up a solar system thing, but the fact that he never stops being a blustering asshole for all his moments of sincerity; he's still a coward for all his occasional moments of bravery. he thinks he's better than you but he'll save your life, he'll just call you an idiot while he does it. he becomes a better person without changing who he is.

also he doesn't think biology is a real science which is so funny to me. yes, you're right, mckay, clearly medicine is vodoo djgdk.

jeannie miller (rodney's sister) is first brought up in letters from pegasus, if I remember correctly. during which, to give some minor spoilers, they think they're all gonna die and they're each sending messages back to earth for the people they left behind.

rodney actually spends most of his talking in circles about "leadership" and also absolute nonsense, but of course he has to have his one moment of sincerity, where he addresses jeannie. it's also, I think, the first episode where it's acknowledged how they are a kind of family now, these people in atlantis (”family is... important. I’ve come to realise that, because the people here have become sort of a surrogate family to me.”). those videos are never sent and turns out they don't die (surprisingly /s) but we saw it, even if jeannie didn't. yet.

jeannie is also a genius, of course, except that she isn't an asshole and also at one point decided to make a family and give up all the long nights and hard work that comes with being a genius. she married an english major and had a daughter, madison. rodney did not take this decision particularly well and then they didn't talk for 4 years. whoops.

eventually their relationship heals, with work from both sides, the start of which leads to one of my favourite exchanges in the whole show that makes me wanna cry and hyperventilate whenever I think about it.

and their whole relationship is so delightful. the actors are real life siblings so they know how to act like siblings. there's no 'bro' or 'sis' (does anyone actually talk to their siblings like that???) but jeannie is the only one to call rodney by his real name (much to rodney's everlasting despair) she tells embarrassing stories to his friends (as is her right as a little sister), she berrates him and they whine at each other. but they love each other, even for all the years they were estranged.

but, god, yeah, that’s just rodney. and obviously I have the most to say about him because he’s my favourite character, but there’s so many good characters in this show.

there’s elizabeth weir, lawful good leader of the atlantis expedition, who cares so much about every person there. there’s john sheppard, cocky flyboy allergic to talking about his feelings but regularly willing to blow himself up to save other people (who’s way smarter than he lets people think). there’s carson beckett, scottish doctor who puts up with so much bullshit from rodney but is good natured and endlessly kind and also kind of a bit of a coward too sometimes (there’s a reason those two are friends). there’s teyla emmagan, leader of her people and full of such incredible strength and grace. there’s ronon dex, warrior with a tragic backstory and dry wit and hidden affection.

there’s radek zelenka, basically the only scientist rodney actually considers capable, and aiden ford, an absolute puppy dog of a marine, and peter grodin, possibly the only other scientist rodney would consider capable. you have laura cadman, a marine/explosives expert who rodney can’t stand because she loves to tease him, and peter kavanaugh, a scientist rodney can’t stand because he’s terrible. and eventually there’s evan lorne and jennifer keller and richard woolsey and even sam carter (a main character from sg-1, along with col. jack o’neill and dr. daniel jackson, who also both turn up every so often), and they all have a place in this strange and wonderful city.

and there’s the intricacies between the relationships where you have teyla and ronon as the aliens on the team not comprehending the shit rodney and john say about earth or their pop culture references, and you have john and elizabeth starting out clashing but eventually melding together as a command team really well, and you have woolsey trying to integrate into a group of people who are already so close knit, and you have rodney’s really ridiculous crush on sam that’s mellowed out enough she can actually stand to work with him, and the way that everybody fucking hates kavanaugh because he’s totally insufferable skjfd.

and it’s the way that once they’re all settled in, they just trust each other (except maybe rodney, who trusts most of the scientists in his lab as far as he can throw them off a balcony into the ocean). there’s no question about it, it’s just there. there’s an episode where a virus causes everyone to lose their memories, and sheppard has a picture of teyla on a tablet and despite knowing nothing, searches for her because he knows she can help. there’s countless episodes where john throws himself into dangerous situations with full belief in his team’s ability to bring him out again (much to rodney’s constant stress: “you see, the thing is, colonel sheppard and I have sort of gotten into this habit of saving each other's lives, and it's my turn.”).

honestly, the plots range from borderline ridiculous to actual emotional shit and I couldn’t tell you which I prefer.

there’s an episode with this guy who has a “potion” that makes everyone adore him despite the fact that he is more insufferable than kavanaugh (I hate this guy <3). but there’s also an episode where rodney is slowly losing all his memories and they bring jeannie in to say goodbye and it’s. so much. and then again there’s an episode where rodney and cadman are trapped in the same body. so the mood is. variable. it’s great though, because sometimes you need shit that doesn’t matter. and sometimes you do.

anyway that’s my ramble I think skfjsd. thank you very much for reading and if you decide to watch it, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do <33333

#sga #rhys' shit #mine #sorry for how long it took me to write this #my timezone is weird and I had work today haha #but yeah! aaaa! #this has really made me wanna rewatch 'mckay and mrs miller' bc jeannie. and good sibling vibes #and rodney's insecurities and character growth and aaaaaaaa yk #I also wanna rewatch the first episode but I *just* did skjhdfk #I honestly have no idea where this is available to watch online #I think my friend found it on amazon prime? but I just have the episodes on a hard drive #and it'll be piratable somewhere; though ik I had a bit of trouble finding good quality stuff when I was looking for it #I've been writing this for so long the idea of actually posting it seems wild which is kind of dumb sjkfhskdf #I started it this morning and have been doing it in pretty much all of my spare time before and after work and now it's 7 pm #I know I feel a lot more about this show than probably most people do? so I hope I haven't misled you. I really hope you enjoy it #it is literally my biggest comfort show #it has it's flaws; I know. I mean. all shows like this are military propaganda and it was written in the mid 00s #but still. I love it a lot #okay I'm going to schedule this now skfjgd #oh also! jason mamoa plays ronon and he's hot about it <3 #also did I mention the city flies??? it's a fcking flying city. it's so cool #I'm rewatching the first episode now and finding so many things to add. rodney's orange fleece is so awful I love him sjdfgkdsd

[aimless-imagines-for-fun]

Vacation: Part one

PART TWO PART THREE

Pairing :: OPLA!Sanji x fem!Reader

Warnings :: 18+ Content, NSFW/SMUT, Oral(f recieving), Semi-Public sex(they did it in an alley), Light teasing

Word Count ::  3,373

Summary :: After being forced on a vacation at the Baratie, you catch the eye of a certain blond cook who loves to tease you.

A/N :: I was trying to find the right mix between pervert simp anime Sanji and suave charming live-action Sanji. There will for sure be a part two.

Go watch the One Piece live-action.

“I see a place we can stop to make repairs, Captain Tommy,” You said, eye still focused on the small floating mass in the distance.

You worked on a merchant ship for a wealthy businessman named Greylock. You were his top secret contract negotiator. The reason you were a “secret” was because he never introduced you as a negotiator. You would always find your way to sneak into his potential clients’ and contract partners’ inner circle to figure out what type of people they were and what they wanted. With this personal knowledge, you would then come up with the best plan of action to secure a beneficial deal for the business. It was easy for you thanks to your typically quiet demeanor. You knew when to stay silent and read the room.

Captain Tommy, Greylock’s business partner, set a course for the wooden structure floating. “Let’s hope the owner’s kind enough to let us port for a while.”

“How long do you think it’ll take to repair the damages?”

“The storm banged us up pretty good, not to mention all the scrapes we’ve gotten from pirates.” He glanced around the ship. “I’d say at least three to four weeks.”

You cursed quietly under your breath. “Greylock isn’t going to be happy about that.”

Captain Tommy shrugged. “There’s nothing we can do. The ship’s falling apart. We won’t be able to make it to a port town before the ship sinks.”

You knew Greylock would be upset once you told him, so you took precocious measures to alleviate the anger.

You stood with him on the deck, watching as you approached your soon-to-be temporary home. "You know sir, you've been mentioning wanting to take a vacation for a while."

He sighed, shrugging. "That's because I'm getting older and tired of working. I became a merchant to see the world, not to work endlessly."

"Well then, how about you finally take that vacation now while we repair the ship?"

He turned his head to give you a weary look. "Take a  vacation while the ship is repaired?"

You nodded with a smile. "Captain Tommy told me it would take at least three weeks to repair the ship. Instead of worrying about work, you should relax during that time."

"(Y/N)-"

"And you can give the crew a chance to rest. Were y'all dreary from that dreadful storm, not to mention the attacks we had to endure before?" You patted his shoulder. "You know what they say, a happy crew is a dutiful crew. And a tired crew typically ends up killing someone."

Grey lock laughed at your made-up saying, but you were able to persuade him. "You're right. We've been working too hard recently without a break." He looked out once more, finally in the distance to see the name of the place you'll all be staying for the next month. "Lads!" He shouted loud enough to grab everyone's attention. "I want you lot to enjoy yourselves at the Baratie. Think of our unscheduled stop as a surprise resort! Haha!"

Immediately the crew lit up. While everyone cheered and began to talk about what they'd do with their spare time, aside from repairs, you looked up at Captain Tommy. He had a small smirk, giving you a wink. He knew if anyone could get Greylock to give the entire crew a break, it'd be you.

-

You walked into Baratie behind Greylock and Captain Tommy. It was typically for the three of you to grab a bite together whenever you arrived at a new town so that you could discuss your work objectives. Today, however, it was simply a meal between friends.

A fish man greeted you at the entrance, accepting a small fee before allowing you to take your seats.

You looked over the menu, wondering what to try first. You'd be around for a while and we're sure you'd get to try a few items on the menu before departing. Greylock and Captain Tommy chatted with one another, used to your silence. They knew that you spoke when you felt you needed to.

The swing doors to the kitchen flew open. You glanced up from the menu, seeing a blond man to have caused the small ruckus. He looked upset, brows furrowed and tight lips turned down.

'I wonder what got him so riled up,' You thought.

You kept your eyes on him, noticing he was making his way to your table with a tray of bread rolls in hand. When he was about halfway, he noticed you sitting right of Greylock and his mood instantly seemed to pick up. After his eyes locked with yours, his gaze lit up and a dashing smile graced his lips.

Seeing his mood do a complete one-eighty after spotting you, you shot your eyes back down to your menu. 'Please don't be our waiter. Please don't be our waiter. Plea-'

"Hello gentlemen and fair lady, my name is Sanji. What would you like to drink to start you off? We have several rare Micqueot vintages in stock."

Almost throughout his entire introduction, you could feel his line of sight fixed on you. He didn’t mind that you didn’t look at him. It allowed him to sneak a glance at your chest without being noticed.

"Anything fancy would be a waste on me. I'll just have a simple whiskey to start with," Greylock said. Captain Tommy put up two fingers, requesting the same.

"And what will you be having, darling?"

"Hm… I'll have a sweet tea."

"A sweet drink for a sweet girl understood."

Your eyes shot towards him, a little shocked by his straightforward demeanor. He gave you a quick wink before walking away.

Now, it was time for the old men to act like school girls. 

Greylock started the teasing first. "Awe, our little (Y/N) has a young man who's interested in her," 

"And by the small blush on her cheeks, I'd say she's interested too."

"Wh-what blush?" You stuttered, only now feeling the heat center in your cheeks.

"The one that's covering your entire face." Captain Tommy laughed.

"Shut up. I was just caught off guard by his remark." You practically shoved your face into the menu, embarrassed to face the men before you any longer.

They continued laughing for a moment before talking about what to order.

After Sanji came back with your drinks, it was time for you three to place your orders. Again, your colleagues ordered before you. This time though, you spoke right when Captain Tommy finished his sentence.

"And I will have the seared ahi tuna."

"Do you want the chocolate sin cake after for dessert, love? It's so moist it'll melt in your mouth, I promise," He said in a sultry tone for no other apparent reason than to get a rise out of you.

And once more, you were left stunned and your face was heating up. You were certain he was only teasing you, but you were still upset giving him the presumed reaction he wanted.

"She would love the chocolate cake!" Greylock's hand patted your back hard, causing you to fall forward a bit on the table. "It's been a while since she's had a good pastry."

“Coming right up.”

He left with a swift turn on his heels and when he was out of sight you glared daggers at the two accompanying you.

“What do you think you’re doing, sir?”

“Trying to make sure you have a fun time here.” He took a swig of his whiskey before continuing. “Listen, you’re always working hard for us, and you rarely make any time for yourself.”

You sink in your seat a bit. He was right. On the rare occasion you did flirt with others, it was to secure a deal, and then, you were gone.

“Plus, the boy’s easy on the eyes. You’d be mad to not give him a chance.” He bursted out laughing.

Captain Tommy was a bit more comforting with his words. “You probably won’t interact with him much, so don’t mind him.”

Choosing to believe him, you relaxed for the remainder of the meal. ‘Captain Tommy’s right. As long as I don’t come here again, I probably won’t run into him.’

Too bad you had a crew that loved to go out because about two days later, you found yourself back at the Baratie. This time, Sanji wasn’t your waiter which you were more than thankful for. Captain Tommy and Greylock might’ve teased you a bit, but the men with you now would have embarrassed you so much you would never step foot out of your living quarters again.

Around mid-way into your meal, you excused yourself from the table to go use the restroom. While walking down the hallway, your attention was on the various paintings that decorated the wall.

Since you weren’t paying much attention to what was in front of you, you collided with a firm chest. You nearly stumbled back until a pair of arms wrapped around you, holding you in place.

“Ah-! I-I’m so sorry! I should have been paying attention to where I was… going…” You looked up at the person you had bumped into, locking eyes with a familiar blue-eyed blond.

He gave you a large grin, replying. “No need to apologize madam. I should be the one apologizing,” You tilted your head, “for disturbing a fine piece of art like you.”

You immediately turned away, hoping he wouldn’t catch your growing blush. “Can you please let me go?” You asked timidly.

You felt his hold tighten for a quick second before letting you go. Without another word, you rushed past him to the women's restroom.

Sanji watched you run away, a playful grin plastered on his face. “Oh, I’m going to have fun with this one,” He mumbled, already missing the feeling of your body pressed against his.

-

This would be how every interaction you had with the blonde cook and occasional waiter, played out. You would try to be formal with him, he'd make a flirty or suggestive comment, and then you'd start to blush or stutter.

Typically it was whenever you went to eat at Baratie, but there were a few occasions when he managed to catch you outside.

-

"I must be in heaven because I'm seeing an angel before me." You tensed up in your seat and froze upon hearing Sanji.

You were at the small outdoor bar next to the giant fish-headed restaurant. Around the end of the first week, you noticed that the place had a pretty good view of the sunset. Sure, you saw the sun set often, but you rarely actually watched it fall below the horizon line, disappearing until morning. It was a minor peaceful event you wanted to enjoy on your supposed vacation alone.

The sky had already darkened by this point. You were just around to finish the drink you had.

"Good evening, Sanji."

He sat next to you, pouting playfully. "Come on m, (Y/N). We've known each other for over two weeks now. There's no need for you to keep acting so stuffy all the time."

You crossed your arms. "I'm not stuffy."

"Yes, you are. Every time I see you it's always a quick sentence or two before nothing but silence. I'm starting to think you don't like me."

'I wish it was that simple.' In fact, you were having the opposite reaction. You were used to making contracts and business deals with people when you spoke to them. You weren't used to being openly flirted with for no reason. 

Like always, you avoided making eye contact with him. This time, you fixed your attention to the remaining ice cubes in your drink.

He leaned closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "Or maybe, it's because you're too shy to admit you like me," He whispered, hot breath hitting your ear and sending a tingle throughout your body.

You snapped your head around, face burning up when you saw how close he was. That damn coy smile plastered on his perfect lips.

He chuckled to himself, brushing a strand of your hair out of your face. "That's it, isn't it?"

"Why do you keep messing with me?" You bluntly asked. Frankly, you were getting tired of his game, even if you weren't entirely sure what this game was.

This was the first time you had caught him off guard. He leaned back a bit, tilting his head. "What makes you think I'm messing with you?"

"If you actually had an interest in me, you would've told me or showed me by now. You just keep saying sweet nothings to mess with me and I'm sick of it," Your voice was growing frustrated, finally voicing your opinion. "I'm trying to enjoy my vacation, not be bothered by some- Hey!"

He grabbed your hand, lifting you from your seat with a tug and pulling you away. You followed, partly because you were unable to pull away and partly because of curiosity as to where he was taking you. He led you to a small alley a bit away.

Before you could question his intentions, he leaned down to press a firm kiss onto your lips. His hands fell to your hips, holding onto you with a firm grasp and locking you against the wall behind you. Almost as if he were afraid you’d try to escape. His nerves were quickly set to rest when you began kissing him back, your hands holding his shoulders. His tongue licked your bottom lip and you gladly parted, allowing him to shove his tongue in your mouth.

After some time, he pulled away and began trailing kisses down your neck. As he did, you felt his hands wander to the button of your shorts.

Feeling him work to undo them you asked him, “What are you doing?”

He pulled away, a coy smile still on his face. “Showing you that I have an interest in you.”

He began to pull your shorts down and you felt your heart begin to race. You weren’t directly out in the open, but if someone going down the main walkway happened to turn their heads they’d spot the two of you.

“Sanji, wait- What if- Ngh!”

He started rubbing your clit through your growing wet panties, chuckling at the quick response he got. “‘What if’ what, darling?”

You glared at him, trying to voice your concerns, but again, he continued to distract you with pleasure.

He knelt down on one knee, grabbing your left thigh, and hooking it over his shoulder after completely removing your shorts. You watched with half-lidded eyes as he pushed and held your underwear to the side, revealing your pussy. He stuck his tongue in first, licking up your folds while maintaining eye contact with you through his blond locks. He continued this motion and you bit your bottom lip, hoping not to make a noise.

He wasn’t having any of that though. If there was one thing he loved, it was to know he was doing a good job. At first, he had started to tease you a bit because he thought you were cute when you got flustered. As the days went on, he noticed that you might not have said much, but you couldn’t hide your physical reactions to him. Your face was almost always flushed around him. Your grip on whatever you held tightened with the simplest of sentences. It made him wonder what type of lover were you? Quiet, non-verbal, highly responsive to the slightest touches, etc.?

He had just never gotten you alone to figure it out, until now.

He sucked your clit, earning a squeal in response. Your hands immediately shot down to his head, grabbing hold of his hair.

‘She looks so cute trying to stay quiet.’

He could feel his pants tightening around his crotch, watching you squirm because of his touch. It was getting difficult for you to stay up with one leg, especially when he slotted two fingers into your wet cunt. He curved his fingers in you, moving them slowly at first before picking up the pace to match how quickly he was flicking his tongue against your clit.

“Sa-Sanji, I- I don’t think I ca-can last much longer,” You whined.

Even without you telling him, he could tell you were getting close. Your walls had started to tighten around his fingers and he had to hold the thigh of your standing leg to support you. He would’ve loved to have you come undone around his tongue, however, for his first time with you, he wanted to fully see your expression.

He pulled away and you let out a loud sigh of relief, panting a bit. You were a little disappointed you hadn’t finished but were hopeful to continue this in a more private enclosed area. Your head was a bit fuzzy though, and you didn’t pick up on the small noise of him undoing his trousers or when he completely pulled down your panties.

He grabbed your thighs and housed you up to position the head of his penis right at your entrance. When you felt it rub against your slick folds, your eyes widened. The two of you watched as he pushed his cock in, seeing it disappear in your cunt. He groaned, eyes rolling back for a moment at how tight you were wrapped around him. You whined, feeling his length fill you up.

Slowly, he rocked his hips back and forth, giving you a chance to adjust to him. He watched your face with amusement, a mix of pleasure and embarrassment in your expression. You were still biting down on your lip, hoping to be as discrete as possible given the situation you were in.

With one swift hard thrust though, you let out a moan. Your legs wrapped around his hips and your arms around his shoulders. You buried your face into the crook of his neck, allowing him to clearly hear all your little whimpers and mewls of delight.

After hearing your moan, he began to thrust harder, wishing to hear more of your voice. You could hear his grunting too, breath growing heavier and heavier with each stroke inside you.

No longer needing to hold you up with both hands, one of them slipped underneath your shirt, sliding under the cup of your bra. He groped your breast, happy at how soft it was in his hand.

The harder he continued to thrust, the shakier your moans got. You were getting close to your release again and he wasn’t far behind, his own breathing now becoming ragged. Now, with each thrust, he could feel your walls tighten around him. Wanting to make sure he got a good look at your face when you came, he briefly removed his hand from your breast to tug your hair back. With your face pulled away from his neck, he plastered his lips against yours, shoving his tongue once more in your mouth. After, his hand returned to groping your breast.

His grip on your thigh was so tight, that you were sure there would be markings. With how hard he was kissing you, your lips were bound to be puffy when he stopped.

Your mind was becoming foggy and all you were focused on was the pleasure you were in, no longer caring someone caught you. You moaned against his lips, your entire body growing tense in his hold. Your walls clamped around him, finally hitting your high.

Seeing your eyes fall shut, engrossed in the feeling of climaxing, combined with how your cunt squeezed against him, he hit deep one last time before unraveling himself. His cock pulsed in you, dumping his entire load inside, savoring how your body milked it.

He pulled away from the kiss, each of your breaths now shaky trying to regain your composure. Your head fell back against the wall, eyes remaining on him.

“What do we do now?” You asked.

“We plan out the rest of your vacation. You’re here for at least one more week, right?” He kissed your cheek. “That gives us one more week of fun, darling.”

#one piece imagine #one piece fanfic #one piece fanfiction #one piece smut #sanji x reader #sanji smut #sanji imagine #sanji fanfic #sanji fanfiction #one piece sanji x reader #one piece live action sanji x reader #one piece live action sanji #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji smut

[marvelslittlewhore]

No Air To Breathe

PAIRING | jj maybank x routledge!asthmatic!fem!reader

SUMMARY | Your asthma is acting up and not just a little bit...

WARNINGS | asthma attack, salbutamol overdose, vomiting, jj being a panicking golden retriever bf, angst with happy ending, my bad description of medical stuff (bare with me I tried my best 😭), not proofread cause I'm lazy 😶‍🌫️

A/N | totally did not write this because it happened to me a few days ago haha...yeah I'm better now tho no worries👌🏻

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The moment you woke up and made your way to the bathroom you knew your day wasn't going to be easy as you already felt out of breathe. You didn't thought much of it, grabbing your inhaler from the cabinet above the sink and taking a puff so you could go on with your day.

Some time later you started to feel how hard it was to do simple tasks, even just grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge without using your inhaler seemed impossible right now.

Laying in bed and listening to music you could still hear the others coming into the Chateau after their surf session. You got up and decided to join them in the living room, sitting down on the couch and taking another puff of your inhaler while JJ plopped beside you, instantly worried when he saw it in your hand.

"You alright, sugar?" He asked placing his hand on on your thigh, squeezing a little.

You nodded with a smile. "I'm fine, just feeling a little wheezy today."

JJ is not really convinced of your reassurance but nodded anyways, draping your legs over his lap and turning his attention back to the others who were bickering on who got the best wave.

Later in the evening you seemed to get even worse, your breathing now a lot shorter and your inhaler not really helping anymore. Slowly you started to worry and not only you did, JJ had been keeping an eye on you and to see how now any movement had you overwhelmed had him fidgeting a lot.

"Babe." He tried getting your attention and you lifted your head from his shoulder, looking at him with hooded eyes and your skin paler than usual. "Oh shit, you don't look good at all. I mean, you're still smoking hot but- you know what I mean!"

You chuckled and that was your mistake. You started to have a coughing fit, your breathing even worse now after it subsided.

You let your head fall back against JJ's shoulder, whining in distress and frustration, not understanding what's happening right now. JJ called out for John B, assuming your brother must know what to do, he always does.

A second later John B walked in with a can of beer in his hand. "What's up?"

"I don't know man. She- She can't really move without using this." JJ explained holding your inhaler up.

John B, already in big brother mode, walked over to you both holding your face with both hands, cursing under breath.

"Fuck- how many puffs did you take today kid?" He asked and you shrugged tiredly, not enjoying all those movements at all and your stomach doesn't like it either.

"Bucket..." You mumbled and John B rushed to get you one, just in time when your body wrenched forward to vomit.

"What's happening with her?" JJ asked, trying to keep his cool and holding your hair out of your face while you emptied your stomach.

"She overused her inhaler and now her circulation is fucked up." John B explained, calm as ever and putting the bucket down when you stopped puking. He grabbed his phone next and called for an ambulance, knowing things would get worse if he didn't act fast enough.

John B crouched in front of you, trying to get your attention again which was hard for you as everything seemed to exhaust you, even talking.

"You'll be okay. I called an ambulance, they'll be here soon, yeah?"

You just nodded, closing your eyes to get any type of rest but the boys have to keep you awake.

"Hey, stay with me baby. Just like that. Show me those pretty eyes." JJ smiled at you even when he's practically panicking on the inside and wishing he could just take away your suffering.

Meanwhile Pope, Kie, and Sarah caught up to what happened. All now scattered around the room and anxiously waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

Sure enough the paramedics walked inside the Chateau with Pope explaining what happened and in what state you're in.

JJ was holding you the whole time, comforting you and whispering affirmations in your ear. Just as you expected they have to take you to the hospital to give you proper medication and care there.

As soon as you got an IV drip and a oxygen mask JJ carefully got up with you in his arms, carrying you to the ambulance and gently placed you on the stretcher. He sat down beside you, holding your hand to let you know he's there while the paramedics moved around you.

In the hospital the pogues had to sit in the waiting room, angry that they could only wait for any doctor to tell them if you're fine or not. Even JJ couldn't go with you, only for the ride to the hospital and he almost punched the security guy that held him back from going to see how his girl is doing right now but John B eventually got him to sit down, talking some sense into him.

"Relax, dude. You're not helping her when you get arrested now. I know how this works. They keep her here for a few hours, give her medicine and oxygen, and when her oxygen saturation is better we can take her back home."

JJ nodded, taking his hat off and pulling at some strains of his hair. It kills him not being able to be with you in such a scary moment.

An hour later the doctor came into the waiting room and the pogues instantly sprung up, attacking the poor woman with all kinds of questions.

"Alright, let's calm down first." She told them, looking back at the clipboard in her hand. "So, she's going to be okay. She needs to take these antibiotics for the next ten days. Watch that she's drinking and eating enough because she'll still feel a little weak the next two or three days, so keep an eye on her."

The doctor handed John B the package of antibiotics and told them that they could go and see you now as you're stable again.

You smiled when you saw them rushing inside and to your bed, all of them just so relieved to have your normal self back.

JJ leaned down to give a quick peck to your lips, resting his forehead against yours for a moment.

"You scared the hell outta me..." He said and you reached up caress his cheek with your hand.

"I'm sorry." You pulled back from him. "I just- I thought it wouldn't end like that. I already saw the signs the second I woke up but..." You tried to explain your own stupidity but JJ cut you off.

"It's okay, you don't have to explain anything. You're fine now, that's what matters." He assured you.

"Can we go home now?" You asked and turned your head to your brother.

John B patted your head and nodded. "Sure kid, lemme just get a nurse real quick."

Finally back at the Chateau everyone decided a movie night would be the best to cheer you up and as always they were right, even when you're still not feeling all well you had the sleep that night, knowing your family was with you.

JJ held you the whole night, always on alert when you move just a single muscle, checking if you're alright and getting you everything you asked him for.

You really were blessed with this boy.

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Taglist

For everything:

@lokigirlszendaya @buckymydarlingangel @superlegend216

For JJ Maybank:

@tracymbcm @spideysimpossiblegirl

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank angst #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x routledge!reader #jj maybank x female reader #jj maybank x fem!reader #obx x reader #outer banks x reader #obx imagine #obx angst #outer banks imagine #outer banks angst

[pandoraslxna]

Neteyam drabble idea:

Neteyam has been stressed and goes to spend the afternoon unwinding with his human mate in the outpost, trying to relax. Reader notices this and ask if he wants to try something that'll let him get out all for frustration without hurting her. She offers to try a tit job.

Unwinding together

adult Neteyam x female human reader

Words: 2.9k

Summary: Neteyam seems quite tense lately, and like the good friend that you are, you offer him a way to relief all of his stress.

Warnings: explicit smut, kinda friends with benefits, tit job, oral, size difference, Neteyam whimpers <3

Notes: I swear this started as a drabble at first but I just couldn’t help myself. (Also the reason why the plot is kinda messy haha) 😅

Na’vi translation:

Tanhì - little star

skxawng - moron

Neteyam had been feeling especially tense over the past few days.

As his father, the olo’eyktan, was away for a couple of days to form an alliance between the omatikaya and tipani clan, most of Jake’s daily duties were left in Neteyams hands.

With most of his day gone, he had little to no time for himself now. He didn't even have time to hunt down and prepare his own meals or spend time with his siblings, let alone visit his favorite little human at hells gate as much as he actually wanted to.

Usually, it was easy for him to be on his own. He wasn’t exactly introverted, but he enjoyed his space. Neteyam trained alone, he hunted alone, and while his siblings were busy going on their little adventures together, Neteyam was either tasked to babysit them, stuck in war meetings or had other duties that kept him from socializing. But after he had meet you, he had grown accustomed to being pampered with your constant touch, your bubbly conversations, and endless affection. So much so, that he considered you his best friend. Probably even his only friend. And those feelings were definitely mutual.

You really had missed your big, blue mighty warrior. You had missed talking to him, missed having your dearest friend close, spending hours in each others company, even if it was just to nap or share lunch together during his busy schedule.

Which is why you were even happier that Neteyam had finally managed to come over for a short visit after another tiresome day, filled with war meetings and consultations that usually didn’t leave much room for you.

As excited as you were for him to visit you, to hear what was going on in his life, to tell him about your day– right now, however, you were silent. You were just watching him, laying on your entirely too small bed, his long limbs lazily hanging off the edge as he stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. There was a visible tension in his shoulders, even now when he was normally able to relax in the comfort of your presence, his mind was still at the village. You couldn’t say it out loud, but seeing him like this worried you.

"Teyam...", you sigh, calling him softly. His ears twitch at the sound of his nickname coming from the pretties set of lips he’s ever laid his eyes on, and immediately, he looks over at you. "Are you okay?", you ask carefully, "You seem pretty stressed lately."

"Hm, well yes", Neteyam chuckles. It wasn’t particularly funny, but amusing that there was no way to deny the obvious. Of course he was stressed. "I am, but that’s nothing you should worry about, tanhì. I’ve trained for this my whole life. Nothing I can’t handle."

At this, you huff and roll your eyes. He’s never been a good liar. Not even, when he was lying to himself. "Yeah, I know that. But I also know how hard the pressure on the next olo’eyktan can be. Theres a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders, and you carry it all alone. It's only a matter of time before you crack like an egg."

Neteyam eyes you for a moment, but then a teasing grin forms on his lips. "Are you calling me an egg?"

You shake your head with a giggle, "No, but you’re a skxawng!"

That makes him laugh now.

"All I'm saying is, that maybe…", there’s a pause and your tone turns more serious, while a blush creeps up your features, "you need to relief that stress. There’s plenty of ways to do it. And I know you love your bow more than anything, but maybe you should try something that isn't hunting? Hunting is too complicated, too complex. You need something where you can completely shut your brain off for a while, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, maybe", Neteyam agrees with a nod, turning back to stare at the ceiling in thought. Then he shrugs, "But I don't know what else to do. Hunting has always helped me released all my inner fustrations. Reading tracks relaxes me. But I do enjoy flying too. Maybe—"

"I could help you relief some of that stress", you cut in, not even giving him the chance to suggest anything else. Neteyam snaps his head back at you with both of his brows raised high. Now, that piqued his interest. As tempting as that may sound, it couldn’t possibly be what you were suggesting, he thought. There was no way…

"Excuse me?", he shot back with a laugh.

"You know, like, uhm, a… a tit job maybe? If you want. Humans do that sometimes, so I thought, I don’t know..."

Your face was as red as a beet as you stammered an explanation, and to add further to your embarrassment, Neteyam suddenly bursts out laughing, "A what? Do your people really find that relaxing?"

You shrug, your eyes looking everywhere but him, "I… y-yes, some people do!"

In an instant, he stops laughing when he realizes that you weren’t joking. His mouth was dry but he swallowed anyway, blinking rapidly as he tried to proceed what you were saying.

Oh. So that was really what you were suggesting. For a moment, Neteyam was at a loss of words, struggling to think of a way to respond to this.

As he eyed you up and down, the blush on your cheeks turned into a deeper shade of red. It was adorable, seeing the way you suddenly grew insecure under his gaze. All that, after boldly suggesting something so filthy to a friend. And if the thought of you, going down on your knees and pleasuring him with your breasts didn’t had his mind spiraling, he would’ve loved to draw this moment out a little while longer, just to tease you further.

But if his little human friend wanted to help him relax, who was he to deny your offer? That’s what friends are there for after all. Right?

And that’s how Neteyam found himself sitting on your bed, his back resting against the cool wall, with your much smaller frame sitting on your knees right between his spread thighs, stripped of your top and bra.

Neteyam was hard as a rock the second his eyes fell on your pretty tits, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that, when he lifted his hips for you to help him out of his loincloth, his erection slapped against his lower abdomen with a soft thud. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your startled expression.

He was beautiful, a mouth watering sight. The blue on his shaft matched his skin color perfectly, but the soft tip was almost a tad purple. Surprisingly, there were no stripes to be found, but faint freckles littered from base to tip. However, it was his size that made you swallow thickly. The proportion definitely matched the rest of him, no doubt confirming your suspicion, that a tit job was probably the only way you could help him relax without putting yourself at risk.

Your hands, gentle but firm, run over his thighs, massaging his muscles to ease his nerves, or maybe even your own, while your eyes were entirely fixed on his cock.

"You know, I wanted to suggest a quickie at first", you murmur under your breath, as if talking to yourself. One of your hands then reaches for him, giving him an experimental stroke. Neteyam‘s breath stuttered, seeing that your hand was too small to close entirely around his girth. He watched, enraptured with the way your small hand held his cock, pinky lifted daintily and thumb arching to rub and swipe at the mushroom-like head, swirling around the glands. His dick felt heavy in your hand, the tip dark, highlighting the veins you took special care to pass over.

Neteyam melted into your hold, his hips hitching up, wanting to hump into your wonderful hand, but he held back.

"But then I went over the logistics and... Now I’m definitely sure there’s no way that will ever fit inside me", you giggle lightheartedly.

"Oh, I would make it fit, tanhì", Neteyam responded with a low chuckle, half lidded eyes staring down at you with such intensity, that it made you squirm, shifting your weight from one thigh to another. "But that’s something for next time. For now, I’m just curious to see how you humans help each other relax."

Next time. His promising words echoed in your mind, send a shudder to run down your spine.

You were hesitant at first, for a moment uncertain if you really wanted to bring something into this friendship that the both of you tried to suppress since the first time you met. Hesitant to be the first to break this tension that had been lingering in the air ever since you became close friends. You‘ve never done such things with each other before, never done more than give a quick peck to the other’s cheek, hugging and holding each other close when one needed it. But this, this was new and foreign and it almost felt forbidden.

Like sensing your thoughts, Neteyam’s hand comes to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, before he whispers, "You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to."

"No. No, I suggested it after all. A-And I want to", you inhale, then exhale deeply, looking up at his eyes and then down at his cock again, "God, I really fucking want to."

A mischievous grin formed on his lips, as Neteyam watched you closely. Your tongue then darts out and you let a good amount of spit drip down right onto the tip of his cock, knowing he‘ll enjoy it more when it’s all wet and slick. Shuffling closer, you place your hands on either side of your chest, pushing your breasts together and trapping his cock right in between them. With a grunt of approval coming from Neteyam, you begin to move them, up and down on his length.

Your spit smears between your breasts, covering his shaft just right as you stroke him.

Neteyam could barely get a word out even though his mouth was now hanging open. Breathy sounds seemed to be all he was capable of in this moment. His long, braided hair started to stick to his temple, while a deep fluttering sensation coursed through his lower half and between his legs, his toes curling in his soles. It felt amazing.

All he was capable of, was watching you, hypnotized by the way your tits bounced and Neteyam felt like he was in heaven, on cloud nine, like he'd reached the Na’vi equivalent to nirvana.

Heat radiated from the base of his spine and traveled straight to his groin, and it didn’t take long for his hips to buck up against your chest, fucking right in between the space where your tits were pressed together, enveloping his cock in your warmth.

Between the wetness of your skin and the softness of your breasts, Neteyam knew he was done for as he began to plunge in and out the cleft, the very tip of him showing with each thrust he gave.

For a moment, you could’ve sworn you felt his cock throb, felt him twitch vividly, which only spurred on the pace you set.

The Na‘vi above you was breathing deeply now, with his head leaned back against the wall. His eyes were closed, though fluttered open in surprise when he felt your warm, wet tongue against his tip. A whimper escaped him as you teased the slit with your tongue and lapped up the pre-cum that beaded there.

"I didn’t know you were so sensitive", you giggled softly, followed by a long lick from base to tip between your strokes that made him moan.

Gathering spit and pre-cum on the up tug, you then slathered it back down his twitching length, enjoying the wet, squelching sounds it produced and the effect it had on him.

"I‘m not. Fuck", Neteyam cursed under his breath, "I‘m just trying to hold back and not flip you over and fuck you into the mattress right now…"

With a coy smile, you continued to lick lightly at the head of his cock, while moving your heavenly, soft, warm breasts over it, letting him fuck between your cleavage. And slowly, Neteyam was actually fucking them. He couldn't stop his hips from moving even if he wanted to.

Neteyam chased his orgasm like a predator chasing it’s prey. He couldn't think. All he could process were the different sensations on his aching, twitching cock.

"So good", he groaned from above, "oh fuck, that’s it. You really got some pretty tits, tanhì."

Neteyam wanted to do something, he really wanted to. He was more of a pleaser than just the type of guy to sit back and let his partner do all the work, but right now, he didn't have nearly the brain capacity to act on his own.

"Wanna touch them?", you smiled up at him. "C‘mon, Teyam. Use me. Get yourself off."

His hands moved before he could think too much about it, his palm replacing yours and cupping your left tit, happy to hold the tender flesh. He didn't even squeeze, he just bit the inside of his cheek and watched the way your breast curved when he held it like this or that, the way your nipple began to harden against his thumb as he teased it with a lingering touch. His second hand joined the other on your chest, fingers fanning out to hold both of them. They were so warm and absolutely perfect in his eyes, and his heart raced at the sight of his cock squished between them, when he pressed them further together.

Soon enough, his thrusts turned even faster and more desperate, with moans falling from his lips like rain from the sky.

The head of his cock came to kiss your spit slicked lips, so you let your mouth hang open, tongue lolling out for his length to glide along the wet muscle whenever he thrusted up.

Neteyam’s hands squeezed your tits just a little tighter, his breath turned more into a rapid panting, before he finally whimpers, "Can I cum on them? P-Please, i‘m close!"

He wanted to be embarrassed by the noises that were coming out of him, but he was just so close that he couldn’t think of anything else, that he couldn’t care. His hips bucked up, harder, faster, and you had to hold onto his wrists to stabilize yourself.

"Go ahead, cum for me. Cum on me", you encouraged him in such a soft and caring tone, it made his eyes roll back into his head. "Make a mess, Teyam. You deserve it."

And that‘s it. Neteyam finally felt free to let go of his worries, his mind going completely blank as he simply did what felt good.

He tries to keep watching, overwhelmed by the way it looks when the head of his cock peaks out from between your tits, only to press against the flat of your tongue. But when he feels the most intense orgasm he’s ever had, approach, his eyes instinctively want to shut. But he doesn’t want to. He wants to see you.

"FuckFuckFuckFuck", he moans, high pitched and whiny, the words all morphed together as he chases his orgasm. You can’t help but moan yourself, the sheer strength and the rapid pace of his thrusts enough to turn your breasts sensitive. It doesn’t help when his thumb purposefully brushes over your nipples, his palms squeezing the flesh in his hands and kneading them roughly.

You’re just so hot like this. So perfect. Beautiful. He can’t help it. It takes you aback when he suddenly gets up from the bed to stand in front of you. One of his hands leaves your chest and instead tightens in a fist full of your hair, basking in the little moan it earns him. His other hand leaves your breast as well, in favor of closing itself around his cock and beginning to jerk himself off, in a way that was no match to the rhythm he had fucked your tits before. It made you realize just how much he had actually held himself back earlier.

"Coming– hngh, fuck! I‘m coming, I‘m coming!"

At the last second, you snap back from your thoughts just in time to open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out. Drool runs down your chin as you watch him furiously stroke his cock right in front of your face, the tip resting against your tongue as he does so. His chest heaves, there’s sweat rolling down his flexed abs.

And then you feel Neteyam‘s cock pulse, you feel his hips stutter, his legs wobble and he moans, low and deep, like thunder, before thick spurts of cum, rope after rope land right there on your face. Your tongue, your chin and especially your chest are all painted in white streaks now.

Finally, his lungs fill themselves with air again as he plops back down onto your bed, the mattress creaking under his weight. Slumping back, he inhales deeply, panting for air with a hand clasping on his chest.

Neteyam looked absolutely spent, the tension in his shoulders seemingly gone, reduces to zero. And he felt that way too, like you had turned him into a puddle of goo.

"Better?", you ask with a giggle, a self satisfied smirk adorning your flushed face.

"Eywa, woman", Neteyam chuckles breathlessly, "I can’t even feel my legs anymore!"

#neteyam #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam suli x reader #neteyam sully smut #neteyam x reader smut #atwow neteyam #neteyam x human reader #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam x na'vi!reader #neteyam x female reader smut #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x you #avatar neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam smut #Avatar #Avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #atwow #atwow smut #neteyam atwow #tw: aged up

[maychorian]

Found Family Anime Recs

I recently reblogged a list of found family anime recs and was a bit surprised by how many reblogs and likes it got. I had really reblogged it just so I can find it later to watch the shows I hadn't already seen on the list, but apparently I have a lot of followers who are interested in this topic! Well, I've watched a lot of anime, so here are ten found family anime shows that I absolutely love. These are in no particular order.

Buddy Daddies

This show is similar enough to Spy X Family that you might be tempted to call it a rip-off. It's really quite different though. There's a lot less comedy (though there's still SOME comedy) and a lot more healing from past trauma. The animation is gorgeous, and the relationships really tug at my heart. It's more realistic than Spy X Family, in some ways, though it's still pretty ridiculous. The melodrama in the last couple of episodes did annoy me a bit, but it's still a very satisfying show. It's like a fanfiction I would write, which is really the highest recommendation I can give, haha, because that means it's exactly the kind of story I would like. 

2. Samurai Champloo

This show was made by much of the same team that created Cowboy Bebop, but for some reason it never got the same cult status, which is really too bad. I love Cowboy Bebop, but I love Samurai Champloo more. It's about two ronin and a teenage girl traveling through Edo-era Japan to find someone the girl is looking for. Throughout the series, the three form a very strong bond, despite all of their communication difficulties and past traumas. I've rewatched this show probably more than any other anime. It's brutal at times, but so very satisfying.

3. Natsume Yuujin-cho

Natsume lost his parents as a young child and was passed around from relative to relative, most of whom couldn't deal with him because his ability to see yokai (Japanese folk spirits) made him a freak in their eyes. As the series starts, he's finally taken in by an older couple in a rural village who actually want him, and he's finally able to start forming connections with other people and find a support system with his new caretakers, his peers, and the yokai he tries to help. It's a very sweet, sad series, much more sentimental than the first two entries on this list, but a very soothing and lovely watch when you are in need of some relaxation. Warning, though, the flashbacks to Natsume's past families can be truly gutwrenching. He was not treated well for a very long time, and it's hard to stomach.

4. Barakamon

Handa is a calligrapher who gets essentially exiled to a remote island after causing problems on purpose. He has a hard time connecting with people and is struggling with his art. Over the course of the story, he forms relationships with his neighbors, especially an adorable child with possibly the best child voice-acting I've ever heard, and slowly rediscovers his joy in creation again. It's cute and funny and beautiful, and it makes me want to live on a remote Japanese island.

5. My Roommate Is a Cat

Subaru is a young novelist who recently lost his parents, who were pretty much his only connection to humanity. While trying to recover from this massive loss, he adopts a stray cat who quickly becomes the most important creature in his life. Through the cat, he begins to form relationships with other people, as well. The show is unique in that the first half of each episode is from the human's POV and the second half is from the cat's POV. It's a very lovely and soothing show. Pets are family, too!

6. Haikyuu

Haikyuu was the show that opened my eyes to the aspect of found family in sports anime. I know a lot of tumblr enjoys Haikyuu for the shipping, but to me it's more satisfying to view it through the lens of found family. Each team is essentially their own found family, in their own unique way, and the relationships are particularly realistic and well-depicted by this mangaka. I love Tanaka being a big brother to the first years, Kuroo and Kenma's mutual protectiveness and support, all of it. 

7. Kuroko no Basuke

This is the silly basketball show, and in my opinion it's not as good as Haikyuu, but I love the relationships here as well. Especially between Kuroko and Kagami, of course. Their mutual protectiveness is just chef's kiss. But the whole Seirin team is really great. I love them so much. The teamy goodness is what makes the silliness watchable for me.

8. One Piece

What is there to say about One Piece? This is, like, the ultimate found family show. All of the pirate crews with any kind of goodness at their core are found families, but especially the Strawhats. Luffy is just going around looking at people and declaring, "Okay, you're in my family (on my crew) now." If you've never watched One Piece before, I'm going to make an unorthodox recommendation and suggest you watch the live action Netflix adaption first. It does a really good job of capturing the feel and aesthetic and just pure loveliness of this story in a much more compact and approachable way than the anime. However, if you like it, I do recommend that you watch the anime from the beginning, because there is a lot of expansion on the themes there, and the characterization is slightly different. Usopp in particular kinda got shorted in the live action, so you'll understand him a lot more if you watch his introduction arc in the anime. But honestly both versions are great. I'm on my third rewatch of the live action version already, and I will watch and rewatch the anime until I die, probably. One of my favorite stories of all time.

9. The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash

I found this one slightly annoying in how it was obviously carefully designed to tug at my heartstrings, but it's working, so I don't have much right to complain. It's about a little kid driven out of her home who gradually gathers a found family of both monsters she tames and adult adventurers and guardsmen who take one look at this lonely child and go, "Well, guess I have a baby now." The isekai element is very lowkey, in that she basically just has a voice in her head giving her advice, and I like that it's about fighting local corruption instead of a demon army or what have you. I want more shows like this and less shows like every other generic isekai, haha.

10. Dungeon Meshi

This show is blowing up tumblr right now, so you've probably already seen it a billion times, but I'm going to make one more appeal for you to watch/read this story. It is so, so so good. And in my opinion, it is much MUCH more about family, both born and found, than it is about shipping. I could write a whole essay about Marcille and Falin's relationship that has nothing to do with romance, as I could for any other two (or three or four) characters in the main party, plus those outside. There is a LOT going on. I've been playing RPGs and LARPs for twenty years, and one reason I love the hobby so much is for the joy of creating found families with my best friends in new and different worlds, over and over again. This is the first piece of fiction I've found that really captures that particular aspect of party-based fantasy stories, the relationships that form and grow, the tight-knit bonds that keep everyone moving forward despite the monsters you must face (and consume). 

#anime #anime recommendations #buddy daddies #samurai champloo #barakamon #my roommate is a cat #natsume yuujinchou #one piece #dungeon meshi #haikyuu #kuroko no basuke #found family #the weakest tamer began a journey to pick up trash

[hugmekenobi]

Return to the Light

A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot

Gif by @spacemagicandlaserswords

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Being separated from one another had taken it's toll and the search had been hard but in all the darkness, a glimmer of hope remains

Warnings: Mentioned canon-typical violence, swearing, my made-up timeline, limited use of y/n, some choice interrogation techniques, sad flashbacks, mentions/descriptions of torture, mentions of death, mentions/descriptions of injury and sickness, reader is not in the greatest of headspaces and takes it out on Lyra, talks of self-sabotage/sacrifice and self-loathing, my interpretation of all things Force, dodgy Star Wars medical techniques, slight manipulation/miscommunication, kissing, overall a pretty angsty time but there's some fluff sprinkled in

Masterlist for S1 and S2

Word Count: 18.2K (don't look at me, idk what happened lol)

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Huge shoutout and thanks to my friend @burningfieldof-clover who supported and provided many helpful tips as I struggled though this!! And its finally here! I am so sorry it took so long but I hope you all enjoy it despite the wait! I have another one planned to follow that hopefully will not take as long haha so I'm excited to get to work on that too! Also praying that by posting this, I can manifest a S3 trailer haha

Nelvaan

Ever since the disaster of Ord Mantell and from the second they’d managed to flee; Hunter had been doing everything he could to find you and Omega again. He’d tormented himself with the various possibilities of what could be happening to the two of you. Every day he’d been apart from you both had seen him fighting with himself. Possible informants and Imperial soldiers he could cope with just fine, what had been proving to be a struggle was fighting the complete hopelessness that had overwhelmed him as the weeks dragged on with no sign or information on the whereabouts of either of you. Every failed lead had left the bitter taste of disappointment and there were times when he felt like he would be crushed by the weight each defeat brought.

Things had started to shift however when they came across the various wanted posters and holoimages of you that were strewn across the galaxy, particularly in the Outer Rim. So, when Echo had decided to do some work on his own and went back to working with his contacts within the Empire and reported back that you hadn’t actually been taken, he’d felt that flicker of hope he hadn’t been able to find for a long time and the plan changed. Echo would continue to utilise his allies in the search for Omega whilst he and Wrecker looked for you. Once Hunter had you back, the four of you would reconvene and find Omega.

To get to Omega, they needed your skills and… and Hunter just needed you but there were moments in the early stages of the search where it seemed impossible. Knowing you were out on your own helped with finding his way out of the darkness but knowing you were alive and finding you alive were very different things, the latter was proving to be incredibly challenging.

You may had stopped hiding what you were, but you were remarkably good at making an impression somewhere but still finding a way to go unseen. Every location they’d gone to, they’d been too late, and you appeared to have moved on. You never stuck around anywhere for too long and it was making things a lot harder.

The most recent trail of half-baked information he and Wrecker had followed had led them to this pawn shop- ‘Hidden Gems’. According to rumour, you’d been in asking about them, yet another piece of knowledge that only added to his frustration that they always seemed to miss you by a matter of weeks. Hunter opened the door, but the owner’s back was still turned to them as they pashed the threshold.

Kedrin heard the bell clang as the door opened and shut. “I’ll be with you in a flash.” He said as he finished writing up the recent sales. He closed the book and turned around with a salesman smile on his face, but that and his words of welcome instantly died on his lips as he saw who had walked in.

Immediately upon seeing these men, Kedrin was reminded of a description given to him a while ago by the Jedi everyone had been talking about and he did not want them here. He did not want to deal with this anymore. “Ah, well actually gentlemen, I was just closing up for the afternoon. You’ll have to come back.” He said, wringing his hands nervously as the bigger one split off and began wandering the shop whilst the one with the bandana stayed where he was.

Hunter leaned his back against the door and lazily played with his vibroblade. He knew by the beads of sweat on the owner’s brow and the anxious pounding of his heart that they were in the right place. “Where is she?” He asked, his voice low and hostile as he turned the sign from open to closed, his eyes never leaving the owner.

Kedrin retreated to behind the counter. “I um…” His throat was as dry as sand and he swallowed to get some moisture back so he could speak properly. “I don’t know who-” He cleared his throat again. “Who you are referring to. Perhaps-”

“There’s not point in lying to him. If I can tell you are, he definitely can.”

Kedrin’s eyes darted to the bigger one who had offered the advice, but he had to bring his attention back to the tattooed soldier who was staring at him with such cold and dark eyes that fear creeped up his spine, making his hair stand on end and goosebumps rise on his flesh.

“Where is she?” Hunter asked again as he pushed off the door and steadily walked towards the man.

“I’m- I’m afraid I don’t- don’t have the answer you seek.” Kedrin stuttered. As the soldier drew closer, Kedrin reached under the table and grabbed the blaster he kept concealed there. But, as he lifted it out, in the blink of an eye, the weapon was shot out of his hand and his head was smacked down and being pressed harshly into the countertop- a strong hand on the back of his neck reducing his struggles to break free to be no more than a pitiful effort. His resistance ceased altogether when he felt the sharp tip of a blade being pushed into the back of his hand and he cried out in discomfort as the metal broke the skin and blood began to spill from the cut but there would be no respite for him.

“Try again.” Hunter hissed as he brought his head down to the man’s level.

But all Kedrin could do was whimper in pain.

“She was here. We know she was here. Where did she go?” Hunter growled into his ear, applying more pressure to the point of the blade, ignoring the agonised yelp.

“I don’t know!” Kedrin protested in distress, his voice slightly muffled as his lips touched the cold material of the counter. He hated this part of the job, it wasn’t his fault he had access to other ports of information, it just worked out that way and for the most part he hadn’t gotten into too much bother. But ever since that Jedi woman had come to him with her threats, he’d vowed to himself that he would turn over a new leaf. He’d leave this element of his work behind, and he wouldn’t just be a pushover to whatever or whoever came in demanding his extra services. He felt the hand leave the back of his neck. He uneasily straightened up and tenderly analysed his injury on his hand but was grateful to see that it had felt and looked worse than it was. He took out a handkerchief from the lapel of his jacket and wrapped it up before he tidied his hair in an attempt to regain some calm and control over the situation. “Now, I ask that you leave this instance before I call the proper authorities.” He demanded, but he couldn’t shake the quiver in his speech which removed any forcefulness. He walked around the counter and gestured to the door.

Hunter ignored his requested. He simply took a step back and nodded sharply to Wrecker who cracked his knuckles and neck in intimidation.

Well, he could always start next week. “Wait wait wait! I actually might have something!” Kedrin back peddled fearfully as the larger one stalked towards him and grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket, raising him to his tiptoes. “My brother runs our partner pawn shop on Christophsis and he’s said there’s been Jedi activity there. Apparently, it’s been going on for a while now. Could be who you’re looking for?”

Wrecker glanced back at Hunter who signalled to him to drop the man.

Hunter silently turned on his heels and led the way out of the shop and back to the Marauder. He’d been powerless for far too long and had failed one too many times but that wasn’t going to happen anymore.

This time they weren’t going to miss you.

--

Christophsis

When the hour had finally got late enough, you grabbed your blaster and sheathed your vibroblade and made the final adjustments to your armour before you sneakily opened your door to dark and empty main room of the run-down apartment. You pulled your hood and mask up as you stepped out and headed for the exit.

You got as far as activating the panel for the door to open before the lights turned on.

“You’re going out again.”

You closed the door and huffed out an irritated breath. You swivelled on your heels to see Lyra standing in the doorway of her room. You tugged down your mask. “Yeah… and?”

“And I thought after the last time, you were going to take some time and-”

“You know I can’t do that.” You interrupted icily.

“You’ve barely recovered. I just think-”

“I’ve recovered enough.”

“It’s just one more night. If not for your sake, then do it for mine… please.”

“We’ve already settled here for you, didn’t we?” You retorted.

“After I begged you too! If it were up to you, we’d still be living on that hellhole of a ship and never staying anywhere for more than two weeks! And I don’t know if what we have right now is all that better!”

“I gave you an out months ago! Back on Ord Mantell and again on Corellia! You didn’t have to follow me!” You snapped angrily.

Lyra scoffed. “Corellia was when you finally deemed it fit to fill me in on the whole story after I saw you choke the life out of a man without laying a hand on him. I had known something was off in the weeks since Ord Mantell and then Corellia told me you needed someone. Forgive me if I wanted to stick around to try to help you!”

“I don’t need saving.” You said tightly. “And anyway, he got what was coming to him.” You said utterly uncaring with a simple shrug of your shoulders. “Now, can I go now? Are you done scolding me?”

Lyra looked at you imploringly. “Don’t you see what this is doing to you? You’re losing who you are and it’s-”

You couldn’t listen to the speech again. “I’m not doing this with you again, Lyra. Just go back to bed and I’ll be back later.”

Lyra looked at you in disbelief. “Later? Last time you said that I didn’t see you for three weeks and you came back tortured and half-dead! You’re no good to them if you die in the process of finding them!”

You just shook your head and lifted your mask and turned to open the door again.

“I can’t watch you kill yourself for this anymore.” Lyra said quietly to your back, her words laced with pity and sadness.

“Then don’t look.” With that, you stepped outside into the night.

--

Kirion stepped into the small kitchen in the back of his shop and sifted through the second cupboard. Instinct meant he didn’t need the light and he found what he was looking for.

“Trouble sleeping?”

Kirion yelped and dropped his mug. It smashed to the ground but that was not his concern anymore. The dark outline by the window was. “I don’t want any trouble.” His voice trembling.

“Do you know what they say about people who can’t sleep at night, Kirion?” You asked as you hopped off the counter, the yellow hue of the streetlights coming through the window illuminating your figure.

“N- no.”

“Plagued by a guilty conscience. The crushing weight of knowing you’re not doing enough, or you’ve gone too far can get to you. Or say, being a pawn shop owner intent on ripping everyone off for that extra bit of profit.”

Kirion cleared his throat nervously. He didn’t know how you knew that, but you’d gathered quite the reputation in the time you’d lived here, and he didn’t want you around. “Why are you here then?” He asked shakily. “Guilty conscience too?”

You laughed humourlessly. “You get the pleasure of my company because you have something for me.” Somewhere deep down, you had a different answer, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to bring that to the surface. It would get you nowhere.

“I don’t. I swear I-”

“Oh, this’ll go a lot better if you don’t lie to me.” You said, your voice hardening. You patted him roughly on the shoulder as you stepped past him.

“I don’t know if I have the information you’re looking for.”

“You know who I am?” You flicked the light on and waltzed into the storefront filled with clear glass cases with various pawned off items. Heirlooms, artifacts, jewellery, random items- all seemed to have a place here, whether they were genuine or not. You beckoned him to come in.

“It’s um kind of hard not to.” He wringed his hands anxiously as he followed you in and signalled to the front of the store. He took that opportunity to press the button under the table by the credit register.

You followed his stare and chuckled as you saw the backs of the posters in the front window. “I can sign one for you later.” You started scanning variety of items he possessed. “Quite the business you’ve got here.”

“Keeps-” He swallowed nervously. “Keeps the credits coming in.”

“Shame a lot of it is all garbage.” You smashed your elbow against one of the glass panels. “Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber?” You snickered as you picked up the item and sure enough, you got nothing from it. “Please. Nothing here but a bunch of dressed up metal material and a design anyone with access to an old holonet could copy. Then again, you probably knew that, but it doesn’t stop you underpaying for it and then charging a steep fee for the poor sucker that falls for it.”

Kirion gulped as he watched you continue your assault on his store.

You shattered a few more glass panes with claims of ‘Jedi artifacts’ in them. “Some of this is just embarrassing. You actual convince people that this stuff is worth the price?”

“What do you want?” Kirion interjected swiftly as he saw you getting ready to break another one.

You paused your movement and angled yourself to face him. You mimed applause. “That’s the right question. See, you gave yourself away earlier, Kirion. I’d expect you to know who I am, but to know that I’m after information? You had no way of knowing that, not officially and it’s the fact that you do know, that makes you of use to me.”

“Of use?” Kirion repeated fretfully.

You stalked closer to the desk register, the broken glass crunching beneath your feet. “You run this place in a back alley and get everyone from all walks of life coming in here pawning off their shit that you then rip off, but I really don’t give a fuck about that. What I do give a fuck about is that you hear things. People will tell you their stories, the things they’ve seen and overheard in the streets or on their travels. You are a fountain of knowledge of the underground happenings in this galaxy. Or, at the very least, you know people that run in the circles that have what I’m searching for.

“I-”

You placed a finger on his lips to shush him. “Here’s how this will work: So long as you don’t lie to me, and you don’t call the Empire, I won’t hurt you and you get to keep your life. Are we clear?” You removed your finger.

“C-crystal.” Kirion stuttered, very much regretting what he’d done in the beginning of this meeting.

“Good.” You released a short breath. “Now, I’m looking for a group of clones. They don’t look like the ones you may come across these days, rare as that seems to be now. One wears a red bandana and has a tattoo on the left-side of his face. Looks like this.” You pointed to the white insignia on your top. “But it’s black. The other is tall and bald with a scar on his left temple and he’s blind in his left eye. Heard of anyone like that?”

“I don’t know. No one like that’s come here.” Kirion shifted his feet awkwardly.

You tossed your head back in aggravation. “I really don’t have time for this.” You summoned the Force and lifted him against the wall and started to compress his airway. “I told you; I don’t like liars.” You gave him a pitying stare as he couldn’t help but clutch desperately at his throat. “Wanna try again?” You relaxed your hold slightly to give him the chance to speak.

“Okay- they- they- could be- be- coming here.” He gasped.

“They’re coming here?” You double checked as you eased your grip and let him get his feet back on the ground.

Kirion panted as he felt the invisible hold around his neck loosen. “Yes, my other store got a visit from some men that match what you’re saying. The manager there told them there was a Jedi here and called me earlier to let me know they might pass this way. That’s all I know, please, get out!”

You narrowed your eyes at him because despite his now honest words, you could tell he was getting anxious, and it wasn’t all because of you now. It was then that you heard the familiar pounding footsteps grow closer and halt outside the front door. You released an exasperated sigh and tutted. “Kirion… I thought we had an understanding.”

“No- wait! I-”

You called on the Force and snapped his neck before he had a chance to finish his plea and a second later, you heard the door crash open.

“You’re-”

“Under arrest?” You finished as you watched Kirion’s limp body slide to the floor. You heaved a sigh and turned to face the squad of ten stormtroopers that were lining the rows and blocking the path between you and the door.

“Get-”

“On my knees? Place my hands behind my head?” You interrupted, boredom evident in your tone as you crossed your arms and leaned against the till counter.

The troopers faltered slightly at your blatant dismissiveness of them.

You pretended to look confused for a moment. “Now, I can never keep track of where the Empire is in that whole phasing out thing so I always gotta ask this- any of you got a CT number?” You straightened up and hovered your hand over your blaster. “It’s always much simpler when none of you do.”

“Last chance, Jedi!” One of them called out as they readjusted their stances.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah… you all say the same thing.”

--

You quietly walked into your place and pulled your hood and mask down, ignoring the sting of pain as the material caught on the cuts on the bridge of your nose and your lip. You ran your tongue along your mouth and could still taste the harsh metallic taste of blood as it continued to ooze from the wound. Your nose was also still bleeding so you turned on the dim kitchen light to find something to stop it.

“Thought you’d be outta here by now.” You commented cooly without looking up as you heard her door open, and the soft padding of footsteps walk towards you. You fished out a cloth and ran it under some cold water and wiped away the congealed blood on your face before you held it to your nose.

“We don’t have a ship anymore, remember?” Lyra reminded you as she sat by the small kitchen table.

You’d forgotten about that. After the two of you had found this place, you’d sold it to someone who claimed to have word from Hunter. Unfortunately, that had turned out to be a rather bad deal and it was your first experience of dealing with the Imperials stationed here. “There are transports.”

Lyra just shook her head at you. “You still don’t get it.”

“Don’t really see what there is to get. Just hop on the next ship outta here, I won’t stop you.”

“I care about you, dumbass. Whatever is happening to you, I can’t just leave you alone in it.” Lyra replied wearily. Part of her wanted to, she’d even started packing a bag this time, but after these months spent with you and especially after what you went through recently told her you were one step away from a full-on breakdown and whether you would admit it or not, you still needed someone.

You ground out a sigh and stared down at the floor. She kept doing this. She kept having that faith in you that you couldn’t see but you didn’t deserve it. She should leave, she’d be better off without you but you didn’t have it in you to give her that final push. So, you worked on freezing her out, pushing her away until she realised you weren’t good for her or anyone else. But she refused, she was still here with you, and you couldn’t fathom why.

“Did you get what you were looking for?” Lyra asked, deliberately avoiding asking the state of the people that had clearly got in your way tonight. She’d seen what you were capable of but found that living in as much ignorance as she could saved her a lot of trouble. That and reminding herself you were not yourself right now.

“Yup.” You rinsed out the cloth and got ready to move into your room.

“I need to check your stitches. You weren’t ready for a fight yet.”

You knew what she would find if she looked. “No, you don’t.”

“(Y/N), let me see.” Lyra caught your arm as you went to move past her.

You huffed out another irritated breath but took your armour off before you lifted your first layer over your head. “Knock yourself out.”

She pushed up your vest top. “Yeah, you ripped a few open.” Lyra winced as she saw the lines of blood secreting from the sore and irritated looking now open wounds on your back.

“It’s fine.” You said dismissively. The pain wasn’t bothering you. You needed to come up with a plan of how to know when they got here.

“It’s not. Sit down.” She insisted as she went for the medkit. She had gotten well-acquainted with the item over the months, the most recent incident in particular had really tested her skills.

You released a resigned sigh and sat across from her and let her start cleaning them and closing them up again.

“They’re coming here, Lyra.” You found yourself whispering into the silence.

Lyra paused her process. “You’ve been told that before. The same thing happened on Cermau a couple months ago and it didn’t pan out. You-”

“I know what happened on Cermau. This isn’t like that.” You said defensively. It had to be different. You thought to yourself. You weren’t sure how many more dead ends you could take.

Lyra finished up the last few stitches. “You can’t know that.”

As soon as you felt her complete that last stitch, you stood. “Yes, I can.” You grabbed your armour and strode had over to your room without another word and shut the door.

You braced your hands against it and took a few deep breaths. You did have a way you could do but it had been so long since you’d gone near it, and you didn’t know if you could cope with the failure it might bring.

--

You settled in the middle of your crappy bed, the mattress sinking to the bedframe beneath as you shifted around to attempt to find some level of comfort. When you had found what you figured would be the ‘best’ spot, you crossed your legs and placed your hands on your knees.

You inhaled slowly, deeply, blocking out all the distractions of your mind and the sounds of the late-night life outside, and closed your eyes. You reached into the Force but what met you wasn’t any familiar signature. It was scenes and voices that you had tried so hard to forget.

Flashes of the people you’d hurt… you’d killed.

All that happened to you a week ago.

Tech hanging below the rail car.

Plan 99.

Omega, unconscious and injured on the ground.

Such an exquisite creature.

The torture he made you go through... and enjoyed.

His words to Hunter- To lose one of your own, it must weigh heavily on you as their leader.

Omega being carried off.

Hemlock letting you and Hunter have one last goodbye before you were taken away.

I love you.

No, it was too much. You couldn’t do it. Your breathing was shaky as you tore yourself out. You wiped the cold sweat from your palms. “Come on, get it together.” You told yourself as you took a long calming breath. You needed to do this right.

You centred yourself and went again. Except this time, all you could see was a vast space of darkness. No light, no hope, only darkness. Was this to be your fate? To be tormented by the fact you had let yourself fall and there was nothing left for you. How could you find them in this? You had no light left in you to give.

Spark.

You felt yourself twitch in discomfort. You knew that voice. That name. Only one person ever called you that.

Spark, you’re still not focused.

Let go of your anger. You’re not as lost as you view yourself to be.

No, no it couldn’t be. How could it be? No, this wasn’t right. You pulled yourself out and you looked around your room in a blind panic as you fought to get your distressed breathing back under control.

But it was only you in there. How could you hear him? It had to be some trick your mind was playing on you. Payback for all you’d done.

You exhaled heavily and braced your hands behind your neck as you looked to the ceiling. You stood and paced the confined space, shaking your hands as if you could shake away the bad feeling sitting on your chest.

You sat back on the bed and rolled your shoulders as you found your focus again. Faint rays of sun now came through the cracks in your window along with the sound of rain pattering against the fractured glass, but the new time meant nothing to you.

You didn’t care how long it would take; you were going to find them.

--

Hunter and Wrecker walked out of the ship and departed the bay to enter the streets of Christophsis- the rain sliding down their armour as they moved between the crowds.

“Well, we’re in the right place.” Wrecker commented as he nudged Hunter in the direction of the first holoscreen that had your image appear and a quick look at the immediate buildings followed that theme since they all had multiple paper posters in their windows and on their doors.

Hunter swallowed tightly as he saw holographic picture of you. There’d been one too many ‘right places’ in his search for you. He wasn’t going to accept that philosophy until he had something more than a wanted sign for you. “Come on. We’ll start with Kendrin’s brother.”

--

“So, you’re saying you saw a figure head in that direction after the disturbance last night?” A trooper pointed in said direction as she questioned the current resident on her list whilst the rest of her squad proceeded to clear the pawnshop.

“This looks like her handiwork, Sarge.” Wrecker uttered from the corner of the street they were observing from as he studied the scene ahead. Squads of troopers had cornered off the street and where questioning the civilians that appeared to live in the neighbourhood. And being carried out on stretchers were the dead bodies of troopers, but not all had blaster burns on their armour.

Hunter nodded his agreement and felt his heart beat that little bit faster with the flutter of hope. “Come on, we can’t stay here too long.” He directed as he and Wrecker turned away from the pawnshop.

As Hunter began to track your movements based on what he’d heard the trooper say, this finally being the right location was starting to feel a lot more plausible now.

--

There it was! You saw that faint glimmer of light in all the dark. It had to be them! You could feel it!

You jumped from your bed and grabbed your top and armour, hastily putting them on as you opened your door and bolted for the exit.

--

The weather had taken a turn for the worst, but you barely registered the pouring rain as you left the building. Your clothes were already soaked but it didn’t matter, you were too focused on holding onto that feeling of them.

“You’re the Jedi everyone is searching for.”

You whipped out your blaster and turned in the direction of the voice.

“No, wait! I don’t mean you any harm!” She came out from behind the skip with her hands in the air. “My name is-”

“Don’t tell me.” You interrupted sharply as you studied the Twilek before you. “How’d you find me?” You asked coldly. You didn’t lower your blaster either.

“It wasn’t easy. I’ve been following you since I knew of your arrival here. I thought I’d lost you when you disappeared for those three weeks.”

The fact you hadn’t sensed her presence at all told you that you were not what you used to be. You never used to be so sloppy. “I can’t have you knowing where I am.” You rested your hand over the trigger.

“Wait!” She reached a hand out to you. “I haven’t told anyone, and I won’t. I just need your help!”

“My help?” You repeated. “I can’t help you and I’ve got somewhere to be so-”

“Please.” She begged. “My sister, she’s sick and we barely have enough credits to feed ourselves, let alone get medicine.”

“Not my problem, I’m sorry.” Satisfied though that she wasn’t a true threat, you put your blaster away and got ready to leave.

“It wasn’t my sister’s problem that she got caught in a blaster fight and her wound got infected! No one asks for that!”

That made you pause. You’d had your fair share of shootouts in this place but you’d also you’re your best to minimise the damage to outsiders. “Where was the fight?” You found yourself asking quietly.

“About a month ago by the old shipyard on the outskirts of the city. We’d been told we could find some cheap transport off world, but something went down with the Imperials stationed there and my sister… I didn’t tug her down fast enough. I didn’t know what to do and then I heard of the Jedi that had landed in Christophsis and I knew I had to find you.”

A month ago… but that was where and when you’d gone to sell the ship… where’d you’d first been ambushed by the Imperials… no, there wasn’t meant to be anyone else there. Maybe you could… no, you didn’t have the time. Your aim was always good, it wouldn’t have been your shot that hit her. “I can’t.” You said dismissively, but there was a fading sense of conviction in your voice. Some part of you wanted to do the right thing by her. But it wasn’t enough to stop you pushing past her.

“I thought Jedi helped people!”

You stopped in your tracks and made a noise of resigned frustration as you turned around to face the young Twilek. “Wait here.”

You hastily ran back into your building, silently entered, and grabbed a few spare medical supplies from your kit before you ran back out to meet her again. “Alright, show me.”

--

Your place looked like a luxurious penthouse compared to where this young twilek and her sister were staying. It was virtually a single room with cracks in the walls and ceiling and there was a distinct damp aroma in the air. It was no wonder that they wanted to leave this place.

You then saw the smaller and younger twilek lying on a small mattress in the middle of the floor. There were drops of sweat dotted across her brow and she was shivering uncontrollably.

You’d never wanted anyone innocent to be affected by what you were doing yet it had happened with Lyra and now this child. “I’m sorry.” You whispered to her as you kneeled down beside her. You saw the bloodstain on her clothing and delicately lifted the end of her shirt to see the wound on her hip being covered by nothing more than a ripped piece of a shirt.  

“Can you help her?”

You half- turned to face the sister who was looking on fretfully. “I can clean the wound and reclose it. After that, it’ll be down to her. But the fact that she’d held on for so long is a good sign. She’s strong, she should be okay.”

The sister sighed in relief.

You brought out the supplies and recleaned and applied to bacta before you re-dressed the wound. “Do you have water?” You asked.

The sister nodded and dashed over to grab a cannister. She passed it to you.

“Lift her head.” You instructed gently.

She murmured words of comfort to her sister as she propped up her head.

As tenderly but as effectively as you could, you pushed the pill past her lips and got her to swallow it down with some water.

When her breathing had grown more controlled and her shivering had subsided, you go to your feet. “I’m leaving you some bacta and wound dressings along with some pills that’ll help with the fever. That’s all I can do now.”

“Thank you.” She clasped your hand tightly. “I won’t forget this.”

“It’s better that you do.” You said grimly. “And once she’s better, if you still need a way out of here, use the actual transports off this planet.” You chucked a bag of credits on the ground before you walked out of the room.

You rounded the corner but swiftly pressed your back against the wall since there was a group of stormtroopers directly in your path. You would have no chance of finding them with those soldiers in your way. You needed to find a way around them and what better way to do that than going from roof to roof. You summoned the Force and jumped to the top of the building and got moving.

You would get a better view from above anyway.

--

When another small squad of troopers made their presence known ahead, Hunter signalled him and Wrecker to an alleyway out of the line of their sight. He knew they were close to you, but the Imperial presence was making it hard to track you effectively.

“We can’t keep hiding like this, Hunter.” Wrecker grunted in frustration.

“I know, Wrecker.” Hunter agreed, equally as irritated. “If I could just-” He stopped suddenly.

“Hunter?”

“Someone’s here.” Hunter muttered quietly as his hand fell over his blaster.

“You’re getting sloppy, Sergeant. I’ve been following you the past 3 blocks.”

The voice that he’d been longing to hear and that was so familiar, he’d recognise it anywhere. His breath hitched with the realisation at what this finally meant. Hunter took off his helmet and turned around to the distant sound of feet hitting a puddle in the ground. And it was you. Standing there before him. It was finally you.

“Hello, Hunter.” You said softly, so softly you could barely hear the words themselves due to the sound of your own heart thundering in your ears. If it wasn’t for the flash of recognition in his eyes or the way Wrecker’s jaw dropped as he propped his helmet atop his head, you wouldn’t have been certain that you’d said anything at all. You tugged down your coverings and let yourself be unprotected to the rain.

He felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs. Hunter dropped his helmet and something akin to a choked gasp fell from his mouth as he could at long last lay his eyes on you. He started to slowly walk towards you but that soon became a run, water kicking up against him, but he didn’t care.

Your feet slapped against the wet ground as you met him halfway and crashed into his arms with a thankful sigh and buried your face in his neck. Even as you held him tightly to you, part of you still couldn’t believe that it was him. You felt something swell in your heart, a feeling you couldn’t place but knew you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Did you deserve this? Did you deserve to have him back after all you’d done? Pushing the thought away, you readjusted your embrace as if you could somehow hold him even closer.

He twisted his hands in your clothing and breathed you in. He’d imagined this moment for so long. When things seemed too dark and hopeless, he’d clung on to this. To think about how it would feel to finally see you again. To hold you again. And imagination couldn’t compare to the utter joy in his heart that reality brought him. He almost didn’t want to let you go for fear that you could be taken away again but practicality took precedence, the two of you couldn’t stay this way forever, as much as he might want to.

Tears mixed with rain streamed down both your cheeks as you parted from one another.

You cupped his face in your hands. “You’re here? You’re actually here?” You murmured, your voice cracking with emotion. You’d driven yourself crazy with picturing this moment, you needed to make sure this wasn’t your brain’s idea of a cruel joke.

Hunter removed your hands from his face and kissed your gloved knuckles. “I’m here.” He whispered back, his breathing still shaky as he pressed pressing his forehead into yours.

“You’re here.” You repeated as you looked into his soft brown eyes.

Hunter’s thumb gently caressed the cut on your lip, and he noticed the other wound on your nose. “Did they-”

You pulled his hand away. “Doesn’t matter. This is all I care about right now.”

Before Hunter could push the matter, he felt his brother approach.

“And what about me?”

You glanced past Hunter to the indignant but affectionate voice. “Hi, Wrecker.” You met his open armed invitation and let him swing your around as he hugged you.

“Good to see you, (Y/N)!”

“How’d you find me?” You asked as he placed you back down.

“You didn’t make it easy.” Wrecker griped. “We always seemed to be two steps behind you.”

“I haven’t exactly been hiding though.” You disputed as you pointed to a discarded wanted poster on the ground beside you.

“Between the Imperials and dead end leads and your rather annoying ability to hide in plain sight, it was tough. We got a lucky break with a guy whose brother owned another pawn shop here. Saw the results of a fight and figured we’d finally caught up with you.” Hunter explained as he came to stand in front of you and took his helmet from his brother.

You gulped. You’d be careful to make sure the people you’d gone after had no one they’d be leaving behind. You didn’t realise you’d messed up with that this time. “He- he had a brother?”

Hunter tilted his head at the unusually emotive response. “Apparently but I’m assuming you had a good reason for ending it the way you did.”

You coughed. “Yeah, totally.” You straightened your back and changed the subject. “Where’s Echo?”

“Using his contact to try to get more intel on Hemlock. We still don’t know where he’s holding Omega.” Hunter kicked the ground. “Don’t suppose you have anything?”

“I wish I did but everything I gathered was either old or what we knew already. He’s good at laying low.” You seethed.

“We’ll get him, though. We have too.” Wrecker stated firmly.

“How soon can you leave?” Hunter asked.

“Um, well-” You cut yourself off as your sight drifted past Hunter’s shoulder to the end of the alley at the lone trooper that had a blaster pointed at Hunter’s back.

“Watch out!” You yelled as you pushed Hunter out the way of the incoming blaster bolt. You drew your blaster and fired a shot that landed in the centre of the trooper’s chest, and he dropped to the ground. But you knew, where there was one stormtrooper, there would be at least five more behind them.

“We need to move out.” Hunter urged as he got back to his feet and put his helmet on. “A firefight will draw too much attention.”

“No time.” You stated simply as you pulled your hood and mask back up.

“We’ve got more incoming!” Wrecker confirmed as he lowered his helmet and opened fire on the small squad of troopers that had arrived.

The three of you took cover behind a skip, only firing defensive shots back. You needed to draw the soldiers closer before going on the offensive.

When they had gotten close enough, Hunter threw a smoke bomb, the action allowing the three of you to advance and take out the troopers one shot at a time.

As the firefight continued, however, you began to feel unsteady on your feet and your movements felt unbalanced. Your tingling limbs ensured that your aim was skewed too. All that, combined with the wetness you felt pooling from your stomach meant the trooper had better aim than you credited them for- you’d been hit. You couldn’t afford to think about what this meant, right now, you needed to get outta here.

But you’d been distracted long enough for one downed soldier you’d dismissed as being a threat to come around and jab their blaster against your knee. You grunted with the impact but turned your blaster on him and he lay limp on the ground.

Hunter and Wrecker tidied off the few retreating stragglers. They could deal with this small group but anything more would prove difficult.

With the last trooper taken care of, you braced yourself against the wet wall. The fading adrenaline in your system now being replaced by agony and you ripped your mask down and took deep but laboured breaths.

“Their reinforcements won’t be long. We made a bit of noise.” Wrecker said as he holstered his blaster.

But Hunter wasn’t paying attention to what Wrecker was saying. His gaze was fixed on you and the way you were struggling to hold yourself up against the wall. “(Y/N), what-” He stopped as he saw the crimson drops that mixed with the rainwater drip from the hand pressed to your stomach onto the ground. No, no, no. He thought to himself. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose you when he’d only just found you again.

Your knees buckled and you fell to the ground, Hunter catching your shoulder was the only reason you were able to stay sitting up but without the distraction of the fight, the pain was overwhelming. Black spots danced in the corners of your vision, but you couldn’t succumb to them, not now. Not after all this. You tried to lift your head to speak but all that left your mouth was a tortured groan.

As collected as he wanted to be to deal with this, he couldn’t totally keep his panic at bay. His hands trembled as he attempted to get you to look at him. He delicately brushed some loose strands of hair from your face. “Sshh, I’ve got you.” He whispered tenderly, fighting to keep the worry out of his voice. What made it all the worse was that he knew this wound didn’t occur through the fight they’d just seen out, you’d been hurt shoving him out the way of that first shot that drew the rest of the stormtroopers in.

How could he have allowed this to happen? What good were his enhanced senses if he couldn’t protect the people he loved. You shouldn’t have needed to push him out the way of that blaster bolt, he should’ve known the trooper was there and now you were paying the price for his mistake.

“What can we do?” Wrecker asked quickly.

You winced and tried for words again. “Medical centres are a no. Where’s- where’s the ship?”

“Landing bay 6.” Wrecker replied.

You inhaled sharply. Your current state made things all too easy for the Imperials to catch you making your way there. “Too far. We- we gotta get to my place. She- she might kill me but- argh!” You broke off with a cry of pain as you reached a hand up to Hunter. “But it’s safe there and- and she’ll know what to do.”

“Hold on.” Hunter rasped as he took a grip of your forearm and signalled to Wrecker to keep an eye out as he pulled you to your feet.

You pressed your hand into your side with a pained gasp as Hunter put his arm around you and supported most of your weight and the three of you got on the move.

--

“This is it?” Wrecker asked- his scepticism evident despite the pressing matter at hand- as he stared at the condemned building.

“All the regular penthouses were taken.” You kidded before you swayed on your feet as a wave of dizziness struck.

“Woah, easy.” Hunter cautioned as he strengthened his grip.

“Second floor.” You hissed. “And mind the fourth step on the second staircase. Half of it is missing.”

“It can never just be simple.” Hunter grumbled anxiously as Wrecker opened the decrepit door to the building.

“Would it really be a reunion if everything went well?” You joked deliriously.

“Right now, yes I would definitely prefer it.” Hunter fretted as he saw your head dip. You were losing the battle of staying conscious with each passing second. The next time it happened, he wasn’t sure you would be able to lift your head again.

--

Lyra had barely any time to process the familiar people standing in her doorway as she answered the pounding knock. All she could do was stare at you, half collapsed against Hunter’s side, your hand cradling your stomach, and then her eyes caught sight of the trail of blood that had followed your path up. “What-”

“Hey, girl. Remember- remember how I promised I wouldn’t put you through something like this again? Turns out, I shouldn’t- shouldn’t have done that.” You said through gritted teeth before you stumbled as you tried to take a step forward, prompting Hunter to lift you up.

“Please.” The hoarse plea was all Hunter managed to say.

“Lay her here.” Lyra quickly stepped aside to let the three of you in and pointed to the couch.

Hunter hustled inside and delicately placed you on the worn soft. He took off his helmet and kneeled by your head and stroked your hair back from your forehead. “You’re going to be alright. You need to hold on for me, okay? I’m not losing you again.” He whispered against your temple before he left a light kiss on your brow.

“Good news, it’s not as bad as last time.” Lyra said as she examined the wound before getting up to go gather the medical supplies.

“The bar is rather low on that front, Lyra.” You moaned.

“Last time?” Hunter found himself asking as he tore his stare from your bloody injury to Lyra.

Lyra didn’t respond, she was too busy staring at the depleted supply of medical care. She took a deep breath and braced her hands against the countertop. “(Y/N)… what happened to the bacta?”

Seemingly forgetting that you were currently in severe pain and bleeding out, you went to prop yourself up but Hunter’s hand gently pushing against your shoulder stopped you. “Hey.” You protested wearily.

“You can answer the question like that.” Hunter chastised.

“The bacta?” Lyra pressed as she rifled through the other cupboards in case it had somehow been misplaced.

No, not yet. You told yourself as the black dots returned. You blinked them away and took a strained breath before you answered. “I- I may have given it away…”

“You-” Lyra had to take a deep, calming breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “You gave it away? What in all the galaxy would possess you to do that?”

“Well, I saw someone in need and decided-” You broke off with another pained wince. “Decided to finally be a good citizen.”

Lyra released an exasperated sigh. “Do I need to remind you of your track record? You need bacta like the rest of us need water.”

“In my defence, I wasn’t planning on needing it anymore. This- this time really wasn’t my fault.”

“I quite frankly don’t give a fuck! You can’t just-”

“Can we do this later?” Hunter interrupted as he saw your face contort in discomfort. “Preferably when she’s able to hold a conversation without convulsing in pain?”

“I can run back to our ship and get some.” Wrecker offered as he lifted his helmet.

“Go.” Hunter said with a nod, but Lyra held out a hand to stop the bigger clone from going.

“She doesn’t have that kinda time. I can cauterise it the old-fashioned way, but it’ll just hurt like hell.” Lyra said with a grimace.

“That’s fine because I don’t think I’m going to be conscious for much longer.” The darkness encroaching on your vision was all too tempting and you were completely exhausted.

“No, you stay awake.” Lyra ordered sternly.

Hunter and Wrecker turned their attention sharply to you.

“Come on, (Y/N). You gotta hang in there.” Wrecker urged as he reached over the back of the couch and placed a large hand on your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, keep your eyes on me.” Hunter begged as he saw them flicker open and shut but it was a battle that he knew you were going to lose.

You wanted to; you really did but you just couldn’t. You shut your eyes and embraced the peace of the darkness.

 “Hunter, she’s still breathing right?” Lyra asked as she picked up the last few things she needed.

“Shallowly but yes.” Hunter said with a thankful sigh.

“That’s good enough.” Lyra ran back to the couch and began to start to process of stabilising you.

--

You were in a dim corridor. The only light seemed to at the end of the long passageway. You made to walk towards it, hoping it would show you a way out but as you walked, it seemed to move away from you. You broke into a run but the distance between you and the light only grew. You paused your run as you thought about what this could mean. It was then though that a voice spoke up and a figure appeared next to you.

You won’t get to it.

You faced the figure. It almost sounded and looked like you but there was something off about it. There was a yellow shimmer in the eyes and the face was gaunt and mean-looking, with lips that seemed to be in a permanent sneer. The voice carried a cruel, sinister overtone that made your blood run cold and the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

It’ll keep staying away from you.

But why? You studied whatever it was before you as they circled you. When it walked, it was cast in constant shadow.

You think after all you’ve done; you can have that light back? You think you deserve it?

Before you could form a reply, your attention was drawn to a scene unfolding to your right.

Aww this was your first failure. But it brought me to the surface, so I remain pretty grateful.

Your breath caught in your throat as you recognised the moment. You saw your master completely surrounded by battle droids, taking hit after hit. And you saw yourself as a Jedi Knight sprinting to reach him. You went to turn away, but a strong hand grabbed the back of your neck, forcing you to keep looking.

There’s you. Being too late to save him. Do you remember the last words you said to him?

You did and they were words you had regretted ever since.

‘Stubborn, foolish, out of touch, old timer whose only purpose was to be a pawn for the orders of the Jedi Council’ I believe they were.

Stop it.

He died knowing you failed him.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you heard the final shot that sent your master crumbling to the ground.

You got a taste for it then.

Despite the fact you wanted to refuse, you found yourself opening your eyes to seeing yourself utterly decimate the remaining droids by your master’s dead body. You saw the merciless gleam in your eyes and the callous smile that graced your face as you destroyed them. You had enjoyed that. The scene finished with you repeatedly bringing your lightsaber down on the final droid, the blue blade moving in unrestrained fury. Why did you show me that? You asked bleakly.

But the darkness didn’t give you a proper answer. It only pushed an icy finger on your lips. Pay attention, we’re not done yet. It took you a while to accept that this was always in you. You worked on shutting me out. You managed for a while… but then she left.

You wanted nothing more than to leave this place and this darkness before you, but all control had been taken from your body. Your feet began moving of their own accord and you were directed to another moment on your left this time. You were stopped and the hand took a harsh grip of your neck again. You were forced to watch Ahsoka walk out the Council Chamber doors, with Anakin following her and then you viewed yourself in horror as you saw the rage written across your face and heard the venom in your words as you yelled at the Council. Had you really been that uncontrolled? That angry?

Even though you finally left those uptight pricks, you still insisted on keeping me hidden though. Rather irritating I must say. I wondered what it would take for you to accept me. And then he came into your life.

You were pushed along the hall again to the next part which was replaying your first interaction with Hunter and your chest felt tight. Leave him out of this.

Oh, but he’s the best part. Your figure taunted nastily.

The scene switched and were now being greeted with flashes of your intimate moments with Hunter. Enough.

The only reply came in the form was an unkind laugh.

Giving into that lust felt good, didn’t it? The possessiveness, the selfishness that came with having someone just for you was too enticing to pass up.

No, that wasn’t what it was at all. Stop.

You liked the feeling of knowing you could use that attachment to excuse any darker actions. You would be doing it for him, so it made it okay. It wasn’t love for him you were feeling, it was a love for the freedom to channel me that you craved. He was merely a convenient vessel.

No, you’re wrong! You insisted but your voice lacked conviction, everything was getting so twisted that you were now doubting the feelings you thought you never would.

The darkness just gave you a pitying look. Just keep watching and you’ll see I’m right.

So, you did. You were shoved further up the corridor to see you and the Batch together. Memories that you once would’ve looked back on in fondness were now tainted by pain and disappointment that you’d dragged them into your mess. The darkness took no notice of your distress, it just continued talking.  

Much to my delight, you grew to care for all of that group. I knew that attachment would lead to something marvellous for us and then it finally happened.

You moved along to the next scene and your breathing grew uneven as the image of Eriadu appeared. You couldn’t bear seeing this again but once more, you were left with no choice but to hear Tech say that dreaded plan and watch him fall to his death.

Of course, he was another one you were too slow to save but-

You wouldn’t hear this. No, we didn’t have the time. There was nothing I could’ve done. What happened was-

Oh, I know you tried telling yourself that, but my very existence tells me that you know if you’d allowed me in earlier, the situation itself wouldn’t have happened. You’d have killed Gerrera before he even had a chance to set those explosives off.

No, you’re wrong. You said through a shaken whisper, but you didn’t believe the words you were saying anymore.

Although I must say, I’m glad you didn’t quite give in then since I am rather pleased with how it all turned out. His death was the catalyst to a glorious chain of events. So much loss and broken trust. Finally, you had the reason to welcome me without restraint or regret.

You felt your anger rise as the voice kept talking whilst the scene changed from his death to Cid’s betrayal and Omega being captured and you being separated from Hunter. Nothing about that had been a blessing. It couldn’t have been. Shut up. You snarled. But the figure only smugly beamed.

There it is. There’s that power. You can deny it all you want but that was the best thing that happened to you. You let me in and from that point on, nothing stopped you getting what you wanted. And it felt divine. You know it did. Look at how formidable you are with me being a part of things.

You were dragged along the hall and all that appeared around you were the people in the galaxy you’d threatened, brutalised, and murdered. You had no other option but to watch and hear their tortured pleas and screams. You didn’t need the darkness to talk you through these this time, you recalled very clearly that during all of this, you’d felt not one bit of remorse. You’d thought they deserved it. You’d fallen so far, and a way back now seemed impossible.  

The darkness commented on a particular time where you were torturing a woman who’d been very difficult to track and get information from. Even when you did find her, she’d been loyal to the Empire, insisting you should’ve died with the rest of the Jedi traitors. You’d responded by cracking the individual bones in her fingers and hands before moving up to the bones in her arm. You’d broken her right clavicle before she’d finally told you what you needed to know. I particularly liked this moment. Do you remember how she couldn’t stand afterwards? All she could do was writhe on the floor in agony. Quite a humorous sight.

You remembered them all and it made you feel sick to your stomach now as you watched the endless stream of tormented and pained faces of people you had tortured and killed in your quest for information.

The last scene disappeared and despite the fact you had been walking along the corridor that whole time, the light had still remained far out of reach.

See? No matter how far you go, you’ll never reach that light. Why bother searching for it anymore? You know you’re better off alone. All you need is this power and you’ll be unstoppable. But since I know some part of you still cares for your clones, don’t trouble them with this. It’s not something that can be shared or fixed.  

The figure faded and you collapsed to your knees in defeat. You had succumbed to that darkness and hurt and killed too many people. You’d crossed that line, and you weren’t sure there was a way back for you and you wouldn’t take Hunter down with you. Or Wrecker and Echo. They deserved a chance to rescue Omega and set things right, and if being with Hunter meant that chance would be at risk, you wouldn’t take that from them. Even if it would kill you, it would be the last thing you did to protect your family. ‘No attachments. There is no emotion, there is peace.’ You had to finally listen to that part of the Jedi Code that you had fought against for years and… and you would let them go.

--

Once it seemed things were more under control, Wrecker broke the quiet. “I’m going to go keep watch.” He said before walking out.

There were a few minutes of silence, the only noise being the quiet hiss of Lyra sealing shut your injury now that she’d cleaned it.

“Didn’t know you had this skill set.” Hunter said into the quiet as he watched Lyra.

“I tell myself it’s not so different from stitching and making clothes. Plus, she kinda made it that I had to learn quick. There were just some things she couldn’t handle on her own.”

There was a dip in conversation again.

“I was sorry to hear about your kid... and Tech.” Lyra said quietly as she worked on you. She placed a bandage over your now closed injury and started to put away the medical supplies.

The mention of his brother’s name had him stiffening his posture. “Yeah, well, we’re going to find her.”

Lyra nodded understandingly before she indicated to you. “She’s been non-stop since Ord Mantell. She wouldn’t rest until she found you. Didn’t matter how dangerous things got, she wouldn’t stop.”

Hunter continued to stroke your brow. “She’s not the only one.”

“I almost wished she would. I thought the search was going to kill her. Especially after what happened last time.”

This wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned this now. And from the dynamic between the two of you since arriving here, he figured there was key subtext he was missing. He glanced over to Lyra. “What are you talking about?”

Lyra took a short breath. “It was a few weeks ago. She-” Lyra stopped as she heard you let out a soft groan.

“Hey you.” Hunter said softly as you slowly opened your eyes. “How are you feeling?”

You didn’t answer him. Whatever soreness you were experiencing wouldn’t come close to the misery your next course of action would cause you. “Thank you. Again.” You said to Lyra instead.

Lyra nodded. “I’ll go keep Wrecker company.” She said before grabbing her sniper rifle and making her exit.

Hunter brought his focus back to you and provided a supportive hand on your back as you sat up. “Take as long as you need. I figured once you’re feeling more up to it, you can say your goodbyes and leave with us. After-”

“You have to go.”

“Yes, I know…” Hunter said, tilting his head at you. “But you need a bit of time and-”

“No, you need to leave without me.”

Without you? No, you couldn’t mean that. “What’s-” He stopped for a moment to try and recover from the confusion your statement caused him. “What’s changed between that alleyway and now?”

You knew he wasn’t going to make this easy but every minute you had to do this was tearing you apart. “Everything has. The Empire knows what I am. It’ll add unnecessary heat.”

“We’ll cope.”

You swallowed harshly and grimaced as you readjusted your sitting position. “It’s not just that. Things changed when we got separated. I changed.”

“That doesn’t scare me.”

“It should. All I’ve done…” You trailed off and gulped. “I’m not who I used to be.”

 “I’ve done things I’m not proud of too. But we can-”

 “Hunter, I don’t belong with you anymore.”

Hunter couldn’t accept that. “You’re one of us. You always have been. Since the first moment you stepped in front of those droids on Devaron, you were one of us. I don’t understand why-”

“There’s someone else.” You blurted out and fuck you hated yourself for it. You knew by the way he recoiled from you and from deep hurt and betrayal that flashed across his face, you would’ve been better off hitting him. You knew you had to hurt him. Even if he left hating you, you could find a way to let him go. But you hated that you had to do it.

“There’s someone else.” Hunter repeated quietly, his throat bobbing as he kept his voice tight.

You had to push it. It was the only way, but it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest as you said the next words. You forced yourself to keep your voice cold and level. “I’ve moved on. I only needed to know that you were alive. And now I do. You can go now. Just leave and don’t think about me again. It’ll save us all a lot of bother.” You couldn’t face the wounded look in his eyes and you turned your own away from him and had to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.

Hunter clenched his jaw and swallowed thickly. “Look me in the eye and tell me that again.” He implored.

He knew you too well. You wouldn’t do it. If you did, he would know you were lying. So, you opted for something worse- you would manipulate his heart. “If any part of you still cares about me, you will go. That’s all I want now. I need you to leave. You’ll only be hurting me more if you stay.” You said firmly as you faced him again.

You sounded so sure, and even if he thought he could see something in your eyes that took the conviction out of your words, he’d never want to cause you pain, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. Better him be the one to take the hurt, no matter how unnatural it felt, no matter how much every fibre of his being yearned to stay by your side and work this out. So, Hunter got to his feet and walked over to the door. “Every part of me still cares about you.” He murmured back to you before the door opened and he walked out. He was walking out on you- something he thought he’d never do- and it left him feeling like he had a gaping hole in his chest.

--

As you heard the door shut, a broken sob left your lips and you let the tears fall.

--

“Where is she?” Lyra asked as Hunter came out from the door behind them.

“Keep her alive.” Hunter said numbly to Lyra before he walked away.

“Hunter-” Lyra started to say but the clone wasn’t stopping.

“Eh, well, I guess it was nice to see you.” Wrecker said hurriedly before he darted after his brother.

“Bye.” Lyra said with confusion as she watched the two clones go. She turned to go back inside and hopefully knock some sense into you.

--

You’d managed to drag yourself into the sanctity of your room, but the isolation wasn’t helping things. The regret you were feeling was overwhelming but what was done was done. You needed to stand by your choice, it was what was best for them, you just needed to learn how to cope. You needed something, anything, to distract your brain from the self-doubt running rampant in your head so, staying mindful of your wound, you tentatively sat back on your bed and closed your eyes, drowned out the pouring rain smacking against the glass, and found your centre again.

Not to your surprise, you were only surrounded by darkness. You’d let the last light in your life go, there was nothing left for you now.

Spark.

Not that voice. Not again, you couldn’t handle that. “No, I’m not doing this.”

Yes, you are. You need to listen to me, Spark.

You sighed and saw the figure of your old master appear in the vast space before you. “So, either I somehow took a turn and I’m dead or I’m hallucinating.”

Your master simply chuckled. Must it always be extremes with you?

“You taught me what I know, you tell me.”

Well, based off your past choices, I would say you’ve forgotten much of what I taught you.

“This is why you’re in my head? To lecture me about my choices? Yes, I broke the code, big whoop. I never liked it anyway. And now I’ve given into the dark side, sorry to have disappointed you.” You grumbled as you looked down at your feet.

He sighed. It hurt him to see you look so defeated, this wasn’t the young Jedi he’d raised. Evidently, you were going to need more help than he expected. This isn’t some meditative trick. I’ve always been with you, Spark, and now I’m with you because you need help. You’ve strayed from your path, and you need guidance.

“You’re a few months too late, Master.” The title came back into your vocabulary so naturally, you’d nearly missed the fact that you’d reverted back to your student/teacher dynamic so quickly.

That defeat you’re feeling is exactly why I’m here now. This dark side you seem to think is your destiny is not decided, but if you continue to stand by the decision that you just made, it will be. There’s a chance for you, Spark, don’t throw it away.

You couldn’t bring yourself to believe him. “If you’ve truly been around for all of this, you’ll know what I’ve done. You’ve seen what I’ve become. I wasn’t as strong I thought I was.”

You haven’t fallen yet. He reiterated. What you’ve gone through would wreck most people, the fact that you’ve only strayed from the light now is a credit to you. But this choice you’ve made to let them go is what will seal your fate.

“What are you talking about? I was on this path long before what happened on Ord Mantell. I saw it!” You said, your voice rising in frustration and distress. Why was everyone around you so insistent that you could heal from this? You’d shown your true colours years ago, you were only doing what you were obviously meant for.

He raised his hands to calm you. Spark, listen to me. You’re not-

“I had to let him go! I had to let them all go! You should be glad, Master! I’m finally following the teaching you worked so hard on getting through to me!” Your breathing grew more uneven and the word that left your mouth were filled with self-loathing, but you couldn’t stop them. “I’m damaged goods, I have been from the beginning, and I couldn’t bring him down with me! I couldn’t bring any of them down with me!” You felt tears slide down your cheeks as the emotion you had been trying to hard to push down came crashing to the surface.

And is letting attachments go part of the Jedi or Sith philosophy? He asked gently.

His genteel manner caught you off guard. You huffed out a quick breath. “Why does that matter?”

Answer the question, please.

You released an agitated sigh. “Jedi, I guess but-”

And let me ask you this, you said you saw what you’ve done? How?

You regained some composure. “I don’t know how to describe what it was I saw, but whatever it was took me down a lovely stroll through memory lane and I saw what I was. There’s no denying it now.”

It was starting to make sense to him now and with this new understanding, he finally knew the best way to help you. Yes, the dark side can be very manipulative that way. Especially when it knows there’s been pain plenty of pain and sorrow. It preys upon that and I’m just sorry it got to you before I could.

“What are you talking about?”  

What you saw, it wasn’t the whole truth.

Not the whole truth? “What do you mean?”

He looked at you with intrigue. What do you think I mean?

You inhaled deeply to find some patience. “Master, please. I’m not your padawan anymore.”

He bowed his head in acknowledgement. You’ll always be my padawan, Spark. But I understand this may not be the best time for one of my lessons.

Despite everything, the nostalgia his teaching persona brought you had you humming out a quiet laugh. “I guess working together on whatever cryptic lesson you’re going to impart on me will be fine, for old times sake if nothing else. Just don’t leave it all to me. I’m not clear-headed enough to do all the thinking.”

He nodded and smiled knowingly at you. It will be less cryptic that the lessons I used to give you. Let us begin.

You knew that gleam in his eye and you forgot that no matter how agitated or frustrated you’d been growing up as his pupil, he’d always found a way to put you at ease and you’d been more open to learning again. Even dead, he still seemed to possess that ability. And it was because of that, you found yourself getting ready to welcome whatever wisdom he felt could get you out of this hell you’d put yourself in.

Now, I understand that you are feeling a lot of guilt and self-loathing, correct?

Feeling it? You felt like you were drowning in it.

And you have convinced yourself that your clones, particularly… Hunter, isn’t it? He waited for your nod before continuing, are better off without you because you’ve done too much. Stepped over that line one too many times? A lost cause, yes?

“I guess you could say that.” You mumbled.

He hummed in thought before he spoke again. You mentioned something about you were this way from the beginning. Can you tell me to which beginning you are referring to?

You inhaled shakily. “I- I saw you die again. I watched myself destroy the rest of those droids in undisciplined rage and- and I was reminded of what I’d said to you.”

Ah yes, that was quite the day. Rather humiliating on my part, I must say. I should’ve just listened to you from the start. My we exchanged some choice words. He ruminated with a small chuckle.

You remembered him having a rather dry sense of humour, but this just seemed absurd. You’re laughing about this?! I was awful to you! I saw you die and all I could do was wreak havoc on a group of droids and I enjoyed it! I held your dead body in my arms and the last thing I had done was insult you and forget everything you’d taught me for some fucking battle droids!”

He held up his hands to appease you. You’re right, I shouldn’t have laughed but that wasn’t quite how it went.

You furrowed your brow. “What? I saw it! I remember it pretty clearly, even without the reminder. I’m haunted by it and you’re telling me that wasn’t what happened?!”

He shook his head. Not quite. Remember, the dark side has a remarkable ability to alter events to fit its needs. It only picks out the moments necessary to draw out those darker emotions. What you saw was true, from a certain point of view, but it didn’t show you everything.

“Then what am I missing?” You asked, desperation in your voice because if there was anything that could help ease the ache from that day, you needed it.

I wasn’t dead when I hit the ground. Fret not, no amount of medical attention would’ve saved me. He interjected hastily as he saw the panic that graced your face. Although the sadder truth is I did in fact die in your arms but… He angled his head to catch your eye again as you had shied away from him upon hearing that. He started again, but your last words to me were not fuelled by irritation or cruelty, you apologised for what you said as well as how you handled those droids. You told me that I was the best teacher you’d ever had, and you promised you would continue to work on what I taught you and to make me proud. That was the last thing you said to me before I passed on. And I can honestly say, Spark, that you kept your promise, despite how it might seem currently.

You went to speak but found that you didn’t have the words. All these years spent being tormented by a memory that in fact had another side to it, could that be right? Seeing it again had made it seem all the more true but there was nothing but sincerity in his face and voice as he told you this. He wasn’t looking to feed you a false narrative, there was no vindictiveness in his tone.

You don’t have to believe me immediately, I know things have been tough but we’re going to go through this and I’m going to help you see the truth, okay? He said tenderly.

You could only nod.

Okay. He straightened up. I’m going to make an educated guess and say that if that incident was the starting point, the next situation would’ve been that unfortunate time with Ahsoka and the Jedi Council and also the day you decided to leave?

You gulped and found your voice again. “Um, yeah.”

And I expect you were shown yourself in an untamed rage with little concern over the words you used?

You gave a stiff nod of your head.

Uh huh, well, once again, you were shown a manipulated memory created from shame. You were unhappy, and I can’t say I blame you, they really fucked that up if you pardon the phrase.

You couldn’t help but snort at his gentlemanly manner and you were reminded of the many telling offs for language you’d received growing up.

And while you were disappointed in them and frustrated, you never lost control of yourself. Your voice was raised but level. You were clear in your points, and you never said anything untoward save for some unsavoury language sprinkled in. He watched you impart the familiar eye roll as he said that last statement, but he took that as a positive sign. Your attachment to Ahsoka didn’t cloud your judgment, your decision to leave was made with a steady heart and a focused head. And I watched you do it and I knew it was the best decision for you. It did set things in motion, but they were good things for you, Spark, and it’s important that you realise that again. He looked at you earnestly.

You held his gaze, and, in his eyes, you saw the master that had been with you through thick and thin. The master that had put up with your questions and doubts about the Jedi Order that the Jedi Council could hardly tolerate. You saw the master that had mentored you and fought by your side for years. He was one of the people that had known you best. He wouldn’t lie to you, and you felt your heart opening up to what he was saying to you.

Shall we continue? He asked after giving you a minute to process.

You shook your shoulders and exhaled heavily before you looked at him and give him a single, firm nod.

--

He had taken you through various events bit by bit. Pointing out that elements that demonstrated you were still being pulled towards the light. Things like you would’ve either left or killed Lyra the second she’d gotten you out of Ord Mantell and her use was over. Things like you wouldn’t have offered so many opportunities for people to talk to you before you injured or killed them, you would have hurt them first and asked questions later- killing and pain had never been your first port of call. And any firefight that ensued, when possible, you made sure you remained the primary target and civilians would be out of harms way.

Concern for others and worry about the consequences of your actions… Sith and dark side users tend not to feel or allow for these things. He surmised.

Even if what he was revealing to you was the whole picture, there was still the pressing matter of how you’d been in the recent months. “But Eriadu and everything that followed after… I let something in, what was it if not the dark side?”

He gave you a sympathetic smile. You had never experienced loss and betrayal in such quick succession before. What you let in was the anger and anguish you were feeling which you weren’t trained to handle properly. The more you went on, the more those emotions twisted your brain which allowed the darkness to creep in and make it more effortless to act on said emotions. It was easier for you to get what you needed with your emotions being what they were, and you didn’t have to think about who was getting hurt. You got a rather bad case of tunnel vision- you were doing bad things for good reasons, but they were not senseless acts of violence.

“But I have done so many bad things.” You said with self-directed disgust.

Yes, but what you can do now is work towards finding that line again. To finding that control you had in the past. You’ve been on that path since this morning, the self-awareness of what you’ve been doing wasn’t present in the months before today. However, you cannot get back to that place alone anymore, you’ve changed since you left the Order and most of it was for the better, but more attachment means more support. You will not be able to find that balance if you let your family go. He said with a sense of urgency. He needed you to grasp what he was telling you, no matter how unnatural it might feel.

Your pulse quickened. Surely, he wasn’t suggesting what you thought he was? “What are you saying, Master?”

Do you know where your nickname originated?

Confused as you why this was suddenly relevant, you angled your head at him. “I always figured it was because word spread that I made my lightsaber slightly wrong the first time and nearly set it on fire when I first ignited it.”

He chortled. That acted more as a visual aid and a helpful addition to the true origin.

“Then where did it come from?”

He took a deep breath. In the weeks leading up to the time for us to choose a youngling to take under our wing, you caught my eye from the start. It wasn’t just your natural ability with a lightsaber or your quick grasp of the Force, it was how you interacted with the people around you. During the trials, you had a heightened care for how the others were performing and you aided them whenever you could without a second thought. It made you more focused, more effective. You were unique from your peers in that sense and in a way that I’d never seen before, and I knew I had to get to know you more to understand what it was I was picking up on.

“Yeah, I remember. I’d never expected someone to choose me so eagerly, especially since my disciplinary record was far from perfect, even at that age.” Youreminisced with a sigh.

Yes, my fellow Jedi were surprised at my decision, but there was just something within you I had to see for myself. As we got to understand each other and I could officially begin your training, I watched you continue to demonstrate this quality and I could feel it residing in the Force within you. You had this spark, this fire that drove you which would worry even the most disciplined Jedi Masters but with you, it was as much a part of you as the Force was with the rest of us. You were completely at peace with it, and it was something you probably didn’t realise was so rare. You could feel attachment without rejecting the light side of the Force to do so.

So, the name made a bit more sense after all these years, but you still couldn’t see why this was being brought up. “Okay…”

He could tell you were still hesitant to all this. Do you know which General had the most victories with the fewest casualty numbers? Quite a feat to have during war time I might add.

You huffed a heavy breath from your lips. “I have no idea. The war was such a mess and there were so many of us that it was hard to keep up with the results of each battle.”

Fair point. He conceded, but that doesn’t change the answer which is that it was you.

You were taken aback for a moment before you thought back to that period and part of it did make sense. Many of your strategies had seen you take on the most dangerous elements for the sake of the clones in your battalion despite protests from them, your master and pretty much everyone that was involved, but all that mattered to you was that they worked, and you did what you could to protect everyone else.

He knew you enough to recognise that face and he figured whatever it was you were thinking about would relate to his next question. And which General had the most visits to the medical wing? Another impressive award. He added with a hint of disapproval, his mask of control slipping slightly as he frowned at the memories of the countless notifications he’d receive of your admittance to the healing wards of the Jedi Temple.

You cringed as you remembered the fact you had been on a first name basis with all the medical personnel. “I did.”

He nodded. Attachments didn’t bring you down, they lifted you up. Their most negative consequence in that period seemed to be the recklessness they gave you- and my hair greying faster than I would’ve liked. He couldn’t help but say before he continued, but they didn’t unbalance you like they did most of us. And it is on that point my dear Spark, that I failed you.

“Failed me?” In what galaxy could he have possibly failed you when you were the one that had forgone all you stood for and was one slip away from total self-destruction.

When it became clear to me that this was indeed one of your best qualities and strengths, I was thrilled! It presented a challenge for me as you Master that I was looking forward to exploring! Your emotional attachment to people and causes was one I wanted to teach you to manage, not forbid. Your love and care didn’t make you more susceptible to the dark side and its dangers, it drew you closer to the light. That fire that burns within you isn’t a threat, it’s your way to become something greater. But the Council… He trailed off with a regretful sigh. They rejected my proposal that I mentor you in this way. So instead, as you got older, I worked on forcing you to dampen that flame within you but- He stopped for a moment and chuckled wryly. As you may remember, that was when the root of our conflicts started. Foolishly and rather selfishly-and this is an example of how even those of us that followed the Jedi Code to the letter slip from time to time- you passing your trials into Knighthood gave me profound relief. Not only did it mean I could see you become the Jedi you were always meant to be, but it meant my duty as your teacher was over and I could stop doing something I was against. But I shied away too much and stopped teaching you altogether, had I just been less of a ‘pawn of the Council’ as you quite rightly put it, what you’re experiencing now could have been avoided.

You took a moment to let his words sink in, but you wouldn’t let him blame himself for how you’d behaved in recent times. “I still made the choices to hurt those people, Master. You’re not responsible for my actions.”

Perhaps not, but I could’ve done more to make sure you were better equipped to deal with the loss attachment could bring rather than just tell you to stop feeling it altogether. Not that you listened to that anyway. He added with a slight grin.

You allowed yourself half a smile at that before his face turned sombre again.

But I should’ve stood up for you and for that I’m sorry.

You bowed your head in acceptance of his apology. “But what does all of what we’ve talked about have to do with where I am now?”

Everything I’ve shown you, everything you’ve felt in these recent months illustrates someone who had to cope with a tremendous amount of grief when they had been told their whole life to not feel or get attached. Even with your strength and abilities, Spark, that was a big ask, your actions, and the internal conflict you’re going through is an understandable outcome. But even in dealing with that struggle, you were never purely evil or sought to abandon your Jedi teachings. The only time I grew truly worried before now was whatever you did a few weeks ago. Even I couldn’t see you; it was like the very light around you was getting snuffed out. Care to tell me what you did?

You shook your head adamantly.  

Very well. As I was saying, all you’ve learned, all you’ve done and means you can heal from this. You are not a lost cause, not a source of darkness and despair. You are good at heart, Spark!

But Master, I-

No, don’t talk yourself out of this. Really think about what I’m telling you. You never abandoned Lyra, you did your best to ensure no civilian would be caught up in your fights, you offered chances to those people before you hurt them. And you were able to sense Hunter and Wrecker arrive. That source of light wouldn’t have shown itself if you were too far down that dark path.

Maybe so but-

He wouldn’t let you second guess yourself anymore. And when you realised that they were indeed on this planet… what did you do first?

You pondered for a moment before you remembered. I helped those sisters.

And when you found one another, you felt alive and hopeful again but because you’d been lost and confused for so long, it got manipulated into that guilt and regret and hurt you are experiencing right now that has left you exposed to this darkness. But before that, you were ready to free yourself of it, whether you truly realised it or not.

“Right…” You said distantly as you were slowly starting to understand what revelation he was guiding you towards.

I can see you working it out, you’re almost there. He encouraged.

Each lesson and aspect of this entire conversation began to click into place. “So, you’re saying that Hunter’s my light? He’s my way out of this?” You uttered quietly.

Isn’t he? He challenged with a supportive smile. And I believe he too made that fact very clear before you sent him away.

“I thought that was what I was supposed to do.” You said in dismay as your mind finally began to listen to what your Master had been telling you and you gained some proper clarity. What had you done?

He looked at you fondly. You were always a bad student when it came to applying and learning the history of our Code, it would fit that the first time you apply the philosophy to your life would be the poorer choice. They never unbalanced you, Spark. At the very least, they’re your way of staying true to the light side and your dark side knew that, hence it’s enthusiastic efforts to turn you.

You hid you head in your hands in embarrassment. You wouldn’t know a right decision if it smacked you in the face.  

Oh, and with regards to Cid and Hemlock, I leave that side of things entirely up to you, with your family by your side, I know punishing them however you like won’t ruin you.

“Thanks, Master.” You replied, a smile in your voice.

Not every Jedi gets the chance at a family, Spark, don’t throw it away now.

You glanced up in time to see him fade away but what was around you wasn’t pure darkness anymore; rays of light had broken into the gloomy space, with more fighting to get through.

--

You opened your eyes sharply and wiped away the damp residue of the tears that had escaped your eyes from your cheeks. He was right, they were the light in your life, and you’d been so stupid to let them go.

Ignoring the lingering pain of your injury, you hastily got to your feet, grabbed a couple bags of credits, and left your room only to be greeted by the disappointed and unhappy face of Lyra. “Hey, I was just-”

“You need to go after them. I’m sorry but I’m drawing the line here. I have not watched you put yourself through hell and risk your life month after month to find your family again only for you to throw it away for some stupid, fucked up, self-sabotaging reason! If you let them go, it will destroy you and as someone else who cares about you, I cannot allow you to do that! They’re your family, you need them, and they need you. And your kid needs you, you can’t just stop! And Hunter… that man is so in love with you it’s sickening, and you are as equally disgustingly in love with him! Whatever is holding you back, the two of you can get through together!”

“Lyra-” But she held up a finger to stop you.

“And you don’t need to worry about me, I will be fine. I’ll get a job and might even find a place that’s not a condemned building to live. You have to go!” She finished with a nervous exhale as she awaited your reaction.

“You’re right.” You agreed.

“Yeah, I am and- wait… what?” Lyra stared at you, shocked.

“I’m going after them.”

“You are?” She double checked.

“Yup.”

“Oh, thank fuck!” Lyra exclaimed before she darted forward and wrapped you up in her arms.

“How long were you coming up with that speech?” You kidded as the two of you hugged.

“For however long you were holed up in your room.” Lyra said with a laugh. “And in case you didn’t listen to that, I had my rifle set to stun and was fully prepared to drag you.”

“Glad we could avoid that.” You replied drily. “Also, ‘sickeningly in love?’” You quoted.

“I meant that as a compliment. Most people can only dream of that.”

You managed a short laugh. “I was an ass to you.” You mumbled shamefully.

“You were, but you were going through a lot.” Lyra said kindly as she removed herself from your hold.

“I was broken and hurting but that wasn’t an excuse to treat you how I did and I’m so sorry. I’m truly grateful for you and your friendship and well, just everything you’ve done for me. I won’t ever forget it. There are some spare bags of credits from those jobs I pulled whilst we were on the move in my bedside drawer, take them. And if there’s anything, and I mean anything you need, I will be there. You only have to get in touch.” You passed her the details of the Marauder’s comm channel.

“Go get ‘em.” Lyra said with a grin.

You gave her one last quick hug before you ran out the door, concern for your injury was pushed far to the back of your mind. You only prayed to the Force that you hadn’t left it too late.

--

“But I still don’t understand why we’re going without her. What you’ve said makes no sense.” Wrecker questioned as he followed Hunter up and down the Marauder as he got stuff ready for take-off.

“Not my problem, Wrecker. I don’t really want to relive it all again so that it makes sense to you.” Hunter said gruffly as he avoided making eye-contact with his brother and instead focused on keeping himself busy.

“She met someone else and you’re basically doing the whole ‘if you love someone you let them go?’”

“I guess that about sums it up.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Wrecker-”

“I’m sorry, Sarge, but it’s true.”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t hear her.”

“She can’t have meant it! She still has your insignia, if there was someone else, why would she keep that?!”

“Wrecker, drop it.” Hunter said sharply. His brother’s insistence that you were making all this up was only rubbing salt in the wound.

“We’re really just going to leave and forget about her?”

“Yup.”

Wrecker just couldn’t accept that. “If you love someone, you fight for them! Otherwise, what’s the point in what we’re doing right now, why should we bother going after Omega?”

Hunter paused his pacing by the doorway and released an exasperated sigh. “What do you expect me to do?”

Wrecker went to speak but changed his mind as to what he was going to say as he saw the figure in the background. “Actually, I don’t think you’ll have to do anything.” Wrecker said, looking past Hunter’s shoulder.

Hunter turned to follow his gaze and that was when he saw you. Standing in the torrential rain a few feet away from the steps to the Marauder, was you and you were obviously trying to catch your breath.

--

You started to speak before you caught your breath, so your words were leaving you in a desperate and winded manner. “I was always a bad student.” You raised your voice over the sound of the pouring way. You wiped some drops away from your face, a futile gesture given the intensity of the downpour, but the motion assisted in grounding you for this moment.

Hunter studied you from afar for a second, unsure as to why you’d started this way.

Sensing his uncertainty, you cleared your throat and started again but your words still spilled from your lips in a nervous ramble. “So, it turns out I was always a Jedi who developed attachments and love for people, but apparently that’s a pretty strong and unique quality and applying the Jedi philosophy of ‘letting attachment go’ is a mistake and- and it felt like one. I have such a poor grasp of that concept that even when I went to use it properly, I got it all wrong. I was always a terrible student but for once, for once in my life, I have never been more grateful for it.” Your voice quivered as you said these next words. “I love you! I love you so much it hurts but it’s the kind of hurt that I can’t imagine not having in my life. You, this team, are what keep me balanced and alive, and I was stupid to think letting you go was the solution to everything I have done!”

Hunter could feel his heart thundering in his chest as he listened to what you were saying.

“Finally seeing you again made me feel hope and brought a newfound sense of purpose in my life I didn’t think I’d have again but it got all twisted, I let it get all messed up! I saw you and Wrecker, and I felt that love again and it terrified me at first! I had been acting out and miserable for so long that I didn’t think I deserved to feel this way again or that I should burden you all with my past. I needed to be punished and this was the best way I could think of. I allowed whatever darkness that had been driving me for that period we were apart to convince me that you were better of alone and I had to say whatever I could to get that to happen and for that, I am sorry!” You were in full flow now, all the emotions you’d been supressing came crashing to the surface and for once, it actually felt good. You weren’t existing as a husk of armour anymore.

Hunter couldn’t stand the gap between you anymore and he got his feet in motion. He needed to be near you, he needed to hold you again. You didn’t seem to notice his movement though because you carried on talking.

“There was never anyone else, there could never be anyone else! You’re it for me and this-” You stopped and gestured to the half white skull insignia on your top layer. “When I had this and said that you were a part of me, I truly meant it! Even when we weren’t together, that feeling never faltered. Half my heart beats for myself and this family I was fortunate enough to find. The other half beats for you! You are so deeply engrained in my very being that when I didn’t have you, I could hardly call it living! And then I got you back, and I was flooded with all the emotions I’d been missing since that day we were separated, and they collided with everything I’d done wrong, and I just panicked! I entered self-sabotage mode and thought letting you out of my life was what I had to do! I ruined one of the few remaining good things in my life and was preparing myself to let it be so. Thankfully, it was pointed out to me just how incorrect I was and I’m sorry!”

Hunter kept slowly walking down the steps towards you, the heavy rain instantly cascading down his face and body, but he didn’t care. His sole focus was on you now and the words you were saying. The words that were now healing the open wound he’d had since leaving you in that run down apartment.

“I need to come back. I need to be with you and I’m sorry I got everything so wrong! I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, but you have to let me come back!”

“Yes.” He said as he continued to shorten the distance between you both.

“This family is the light of my life. You are the light of my life. So, either, let me come with you or just shoot me because without you, without this squad, I am just a shell of a human being and I’m done feeling like that now! You have to let me come back!”

“Yes.” Hunter said again as he stopped in front of you.

“And I-” You cut yourself off as you finally registered what he was saying and that the space between you both was now only a matter of inches. “Really?”

Hunter nodded and his hand fell to your waist whilst the other cradled the side of your face.

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” You whispered softly as your hand rested on his now unarmoured chest and you got utterly absorbed in the feeling of his heart pounding beneath your fingertips- each beat emphasising that this was real, you were actually with him now- and you had no doubt that he could pick up on the way your own pulse was racing.

“It’s okay.” He breathed. “I love you too.”

“I love you.” You croaked out again as you felt the emotions rise in the back of your throat.

“You never stopped being a part of me either.” He murmured, his breathing heavy as his self-restraint was hanging by a thread, but he needed you to be sure. “Can I-” Hunter started to ask as he angled his head and slowly brought his lips closer to yours.

“Yes.” You cut him off. If he didn’t kiss you now, you felt as though you might stop breathing.

Hunter swiftly bridged the remaining distance and the dread he’d been experiencing at the idea of never finding you, at the idea of leaving you behind instantly evaporated in this moment as he finally placed his lips on yours.

You sighed into the sensation of experiencing this again and what began as hesitant and careful, soon became a kiss between two people fuelled by passion who had been apart for far too long and who would never be apart again. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed yourself against him.

Hunter first made sure he held you securely in his arms but as the kiss progressed and both of you became more immersed in feeling each other once more, his hands started caressing everything he could find. The actions elicited a small but desperate noise from you which he already felt drunk off of and he needed to hear more of you. The rain that had once felt like a harsh cascade of cold, damp water now felt gentle and tepid. He got utterly absorbed in your warmth and he tasted the water on your lips, but the interference didn’t bother him, he just relished the feeling of having you back in his embrace again.

You faintly registered the sun breaking through and the rain lightened in its deluge as you kissed him. If it wasn’t such a perfect moment, you might’ve laughed at the cliched nature of it all, but you were too caught up in this feeling that you ignored it. You threaded your fingers in his hair and lightly tugged, soliciting that raspy and familiar groan from him and your stomach fluttered at the feeling.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t ignore your current injury any longer and you felt it strain as Hunter held you tighter to him in response to your actions.

Hunter forced himself to pull away upon feeling your wince, his chest heaving as he worked on getting oxygen back into his lungs, but you interrupted his incoming question by continuing to plant light, affectionate kisses on the rest of his face and he couldn’t help the low but happy laugh that he let out. He lightly grabbed your shoulders and took a slight step back to take you in. The way the sun fell across your face had his breath catching in his throat. Your eyes were bright and looking at him with an adoration that he knew was reflected in his own gaze and the blissful smile on your lips beautifully captured the feelings of this moment. He rested a hand on the side of your face.

You looked into his own shining dark brown eyes and leaned into his touch with a soft and content sigh.

Hunter continued to slowly caress your cheek. “Not to disrupt your healing journey, but I have to ask… where do you stand on Cid and Hemlock?”

“Oh, don’t worry, they’re getting fucked up. I have permission on that front.” You said with a decisive nod. “I just have to watch the line with those that aren’t exactly personally involved.”

Not going to question where this permission came from exactly, he was just grateful whatever had happened, had brought you back to him so he just focused on the last part. “I can help with that. And you can look out for me too. We don’t have to do this alone anymore.”

You gave him an agreeing and grateful smile before you planted another tender kiss to his lips and grabbed his hand as the two of you walked back to the ship.

“This you officially back with us now?” Wrecker asked with a grin as you stepped aboard.

“You won’t be able to get rid of me.” You replied with a small smile as you gazed around you. There were times where you had felt uncertain as to whether you would stand amongst these comforting and familiar walls again, and your senses were flooded with the memories you had created and shared here. You swallowed harshly as you saw Omega’s and Tech’s spaces, but you regained your composure as you walked along the hallway. Your hand traced along the bunk you shared with Hunter and a soft sigh left your lips as you were instantly reminded of the slightly more personal moments you had experienced there.

It felt good to be home.

“Ready?” Hunter asked as you finished in the cockpit. He came beside you and wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you tight to him as Wrecker put the ship in hyperspace.

You nodded. “Let’s go get our girl.”

Next Oneshot>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @brujaporfavor, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @skellymom, @lokigirlszendaya

#the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #the bad batch s2 #hunter x reader #hunter x female!jedireader #hunter x fem!reader #hunter x female!reader #sergeant hunter x reader #sergeant hunter #hunter tbb #hunter the bad batch #the bad batch hunter x you #hunter x y/n #tbb hunter x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #star wars #angst #fluff #friends to lovers

[saltydkdan]

Sorry, if you already got this question before but in your honest opinion, which friendlocke was your favorite?

It's pretty hard, because I do enjoy all of them... BUT

I think the second one was probably my favorite if we're speaking overall. The first playthrough (Emerald) will always have a special place in my heart, but it was a glorified test run of a concept that I had no idea would actually work. Season 2 (Black) allowed us to be way more confident, and expand every aspect.

And despite all the issues with streaming and editing which eventually allowed me to discover that I DO INDEED get overstimulated sometimes-

Season 2 just really allowed me to hardcore flex my improv and editing muscles in a way that previous projects just didn't. And while it was stressful at points, I felt so driven in every other instance!

Somehow recording a semi well put together shitpost roleplay for 5 hours at a time, as well as editing and creating numerous custom assets for every other scene, is something I'm still actively impressed by. Usually I cringe at previous stuff, but the edits especially on these I still like to brag about.

Like damn, I just need to pat myself on the back, I really did that. The custom sprites even had shading based on the time of day in game so they don't look out of place. It took hours upon hours, but I'm still so proud of the work I did in this season (as well as all seasons, but Season 2 had a lot of these sorts of edits in particular).

Not to mention that Friendlocke Season 2 was such a MASSIVE collaboration and one of the biggest I had ever worked on to that point. The list of credits in the description legit hit the character limit. Something that had never happened to me before that point!

So many musicians, editors, artists, voice actors, and other folks got involved. Even though it was stressful I wouldn't have redone those videos in any other way. It came out so much more amazing than I ever could have concieved!

I can't believe that all this had started from me wanting to do my own spin on a Pokemon Nuzlocke of all things, and what I thought was a silly idea that wouldn't work haha.

Anyway sorry for the gushing and dumping, was just nice to reminisce about this stuff in such a positive and self reflecting sort of way, thanks for the ask!

#saltydkdan #salty asks #friendlocke

[simplyreveries]

love langauges; heartslabyul

just what my opinion!! i think ill do this for the other dorms as well :)

riddle rosehearts

receiving: quality time

riddle as we know is pretty inexperienced with love and relationships in general. he struggles with wanting to do things almost by the book all the time since that's all he knows. hence why in the beginning of your relationship you may see him planning out in detail how a lot of things are going to go. you remind him these things happen more so naturally!!

he loves to see you whenever you just decide to pop by his dorm, but he feels unprepared-- he'll ask trey to make you some treats or brew some tea, ask cater to set up a nice small table outside to enjoy. you're going to have to gently remind him that it's okay haha.

whenever he's around you he gets such a sense of peace that he really needs for himself. riddle can easily get lost in track of time around you.

he can grow more seemingly impatient and hotheaded towards others in his dorm when hes being strict about rules when hes had less time with you if you've been busy and such. everyone notices his more negative energy; he can't help but feel so much better around you.

giving: gifts

okay i think he would reeally love to give little gifts to a lot. since hes no good at really expressing himself, he gets flustered easily, so he prompts to giving you things like flowers ("roses for my rose" as he'd say), with those flowers you'll sometimes receive a fancy looking letter from him.

riddle is very keen and observant on things you like or mention wanting like maybe a new book you wanted or paints. he loves to watch your face light up whenever he gifts you anything. he feels so proud of himself to because he feels like he's doing something right when figuring out relationships.

if you ask him why he randomly gifts pretty and nice things randomly he'll be confused and tell you something like: "why? well it's been exactly 100 days we've been together." he celebrates REALLY specific dates and milestones. he thinks its a no-brainer that hes doing all this.

trey clover

receiving: quality time

trey is much like riddle he's very content and happen when he's just with you. especially when you come over and chat his ear off about random and mundane things while he tries to bake. if you like to bake, he'd enjoy doing it with you but if not he's just as fine with you sitting up on the counter and being his taste-tester.

he also likes it when he gets to show you what he's done with the science club with the plants he's grown. he gladly tells you all about it as you stroll around nrcs botanical gardens.

though he's no avid planner like riddle is, he still will make some of an effort to make sure you enjoy yourself around him with something to do, that includes mostly baking or even coming along with him as he prepares for yet another unbirthday party for heartslabyul.

giving: words of affirmation

he can be pretty cheeky jerk when it comes to you and will take a lot of opportunities to make you all nervous around him with compliments or praise. he always says it in such a casual way with a smile whenever he does it.

but he really does genuinely lift you up all the time, he always gently and affirmingly reminds you in some way of something he loves about you, basically every day. he also gives some real good advice and can be someone to talk to, trey just has this really big comforting aura that surrounds him. it's easy to be persuaded by those calm and sweet words into taking it easy when feeling upset or frustrated.

like its hard to stay in a bad mood around him because his energy is just so kind?? and inviting?? he has such a way with words and talking to you.

cater diamond

receiving: words of affirmation

he genuinely does hold onto ever compliment or praise you give him; it may be hard to tell from your end because he would answer it with a "aw thanks~♫" but trust me he'll think about it throughout the day. you make him feel a little more seen when complimenting stuff he's actually interested in and good at.

cater loves it when you play with his hair and put it up in different cute styles or put clips and bands in it- then tell him he looks pretty boy does he love that.

when his club isnt eating and hanging out he really likes it when you come and watch him play!! he'll shamelessly ask for compliments like "i was soo good wasn't i?" trying to be lighthearted about it but hes desperate for any sweet words from you.

giving: physical affection

he can't help but be affectionate. i mean even with friends he is, so with his you?? cater is all over you. he always is holding onto you or touching you on the arm or something whenever you're getting a picture taken with him, he loves practically smushing you up against him.

cater likes to pinch your cheeks playfully, he'll coo and give a cheeky grin telling you you're cute, he'll laugh and lay on your shoulder if he's tired in class, he'll poke your side to try to get you to laugh, he'll play with your hair, he adores affection.

clearly, he isn't afraid of pda, i mean everyone and their mother knows you're together, its painfully obvious by the way he acts around and with you.

like you could be doing literally nothing and he's scrolling on magicam on his phone, and he'll still have his hand on you in some sort of way.

ace trappola

receiving: physical touch

when he started to catch feelings for you was when he realized just how much he was a sucker for any affection. whenever you'd laugh and put a hand on his shoulder or even playfully punched his arm. so, once you to officially got together he just wanted more. even though he's not like the most- gooey over the top with public affection, he loves it when you do something small and playful like swing his arm when you're holding hands.

whenever he gets tired and wants to doze off in class and lays on the table in front of him and you rub his back, he loves a lot from you. or when you're bored with him and take his hand in yours and drawing random doodles on it. he does the same thing to yours as well.

he likes hugs, they're short sometimes but he squeezes you a bit and rocks you side to side in a playful manner. he also subconsciously stands closer to you; he likes it when you're near him where your arms are lightly touching and brushing against his.

giving: gifts

okay hear me out on the gifts, but i think he'd unintentionally and intentionally gift you little things all the time. i mean he's not exactly rich level status like idia or kalim but if he's getting a s snack or drink from the vending machine, he'll get something you like too (im sorry but he sometimes will quicky say "catch!" and then proceed to chuck a chocolate bar at you) you'll end up hearing a whine and complaint from grim though because he wants something too.

if he ever goes out somewhere and visits another place, he'll get you some sort of trinket like a keychain from there. he never tries to make it seem like he went out of his way to do something like that, he'll just be like "ehh thought this was cool but i don't really want it, you can have it." that said item is something that you would totally want.

he does like to win you those prizes whenever you guys are out at an amusement park or fair. though he seems confident about it and claims those games are too easy, after his 50th try he gets the plushie for you. he's too stubborn to quit those anyway.

deuce spade

receiving: words of affirmation

he loves it when you acknowledge and tell him he's good at something or looks good today. he pretty much hangs off of every word you say, so it's important to him. he doesn't ask for it like cater or anything, but he really wants them from you.

like whenever he gets awarded for his efforts on the track team and you tell him something as simple as a "nice job!" can mean a lot to him he really does want to make you proud of him and his accomplishments especially since he's trying to do and be better at school even though its challenging. now despite him favoring this whenever he does get complimented, he always gets all bashful, its sweet though.

he tends to feel elated for the whole day after something small youve said to him. he gets a sense of pride in himself and feels proud as he goes about his day. he can't even be upset about painting the roses for the next unbirthday party or studying extra hard for a test because he knows you'll tell him he did well.

giving: acts of service

he wants to be the best boyfriend for you because you deserve the best. so, he's always trying to go out of his way to do things for you and be of some help. he not only likes but wants to be someone you think about first when needing help with anything.

even just small things throughout the day like carrying your bags if you got something from sam's shop, opening doors for you, fixing things, and even though he isn't the most academically inclined he'll attempt and try his absolute best to help you with homework you're struggling with even if it ends with both of you confused. he just actively goes out his way to do things for you.

ace always teases him for what he does for you all the time, but he doesn't even really feel like what he's doing is enough. ace only laughs at him and tells him he stupid and overthinks it completely. but deuce just aspires to always be better, so he has trouble not.

he has definitely at some point called his mom and asked her what to do when it comes to what your partners want and would like and just mentally took notes of what she said and does it x10.

#i feel like its easy to tell who i struggle writing for haaha #disney twst #twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst x reader #twst headcanons #twst imagines #riddle x reader #trey x reader #cater x reader #deuce x reader #ace x reader

[somesecretpie]

I am looking for a human host!

Are you bored?

Are you lonely and bored?

Do you have a lot of time on your hands?

Do you have hands?

I’m offering you a proposal, with potential financial compensation for your troubles. It may sound off putting at first blush, but hear me out. I am looking for a human host. And I mean a “willing” human host who might be willing to give up some of their time to help out an odd fellow that doesn’t have hands or blood.

Am I asking to control your body? Yes. Sometimes. You’ll still be there, but taking the backseat. Now you’re probably thinking “That sounds no fun! I don’t want to spend all my time riding shotgun.”

And that’s valid.

But you all spend about half of the day unconscious anyway. Your body is just there, doing nothing—a complete waste. As for me, I don’t sleep (haha), so we could have it so that during the day, I will graciously let you do fun human things, and at night, I’ll do whatever. And by whatever, I mean perfectly safe, perfectly reasonable activities.

I don’t drink, and I rarely go outside.

I enjoy baking, I look at pictures of birds online, I’ve been getting into neuroscience lately. Very interesting stuff. You’re all very interesting.

And maybe you’re still thinking “Hey now, I don’t want some random mind-controlling thingy hauling my body around in my sleep, “Weekend at Bernie’s Style” to which I say, you’re no fun and you’re not the kind of person I want to live with anyway.

“But I’m a light sleeper!” you say.

Don’t worry! I can isolate your somatosensory cortex so you can’t feel anything.

“But my family will think it’s weird!” you say.

Don’t worry! You don’t have to tell them.

Actually, I would prefer that you don’t tell anyone. Please.

And should anyone question me, I’m not bad at impressions. I’ll get really good at a “you” impression, it’ll be the first thing I do!

I know this all sounds very strange and potentially unpleasant, but remember the financial compensation that may or may not be happening. Hell, I’ll even do some of your chores if you like, while you sleep. You can wake up and the dishes will be done, laundry folded and coffee made. Doesn’t that sound nice? And then you open the fridge and oh, what’s this? Someone baked banana bread last night (that was me, I baked banana bread last night.)

Now I should say, I don’t have a lot of standards, I really don’t. But I do (unfortunately) have some, so let’s just get them out of the way before I waste your time.

Please do not contact me if you have any of the following:

- Anemia: Sorry, it’s just not going to work out. I can pay for iron supplements, but I can’t work miracles.

-A weak immune system: I don’t like getting sick, I’m sorry. It’s gross, sick people are gross. I mean I know it’s not your fault, but healthy folks only please.

-A strong immune system: Yes, I know what I just said, but I also don’t want to be attacked by your immune system. So maybe you’re not the picture of health, but you’re just kind of okay. I’m looking for someone who is just kind of okay.

-A penchant for alcohol: It makes me feel strange…

-A name that starts with a P: I’m not the greatest at “speaking.” It’s hard, moving air through your throat and moving your tongue and your mouth at the same time. You all do it so easy—can’t say I’m not envious! I’m the worst at making the “P” sound.

I intentionally avoid any "p word" in conversation, and get by well enough, but I’ll look pretty foolish if I’m cavorting about, pretending to be you, and I can’t even say your name!

Those are my standards, but really, other than that, I’ll take anyone.

I don’t care if you’re male or female or anything in between.

I don’t care if you’re gay.

I don’t care if you’re smart.

I don’t care if you don’t have a lawyer.

There are so many things that I don’t care about.

Now, I’ve specified all the ways in which I could compensate you and how our relationship will be not in any way problematic, but I want to stress that, above all things, I am looking for a friend.

Someone I can spend quiet evenings with.

If you want to hang out with me during the day, that’s great! I can give you fun hallucinations. Or you could have hallucinations the normal way, like by reading, like what you’re doing now. I love to read! I love doing funny voices. I wonder what you think I sound like?

I hope I sound nice.

And one of the best things about me is I’m very quiet. No one else will be able to hear me except you. I’ll be like your own personal friend that only you know. Like a secret friend. And you don’t even have to talk to me because I can read your thoughts.

I suppose I should tell you a bit more about myself, since you’re still reading.

I was born in the Everglades, I think. It’s been awhile.

But I remember being so cold…

And so alone...

But then I met this sweaty man in a colorful tee-shirt, with a camera, and half a granola bar, and with blood so hot.

So yeah, he was my first host, and I’ll admit, we weren’t the best of friends. It was a confusing time for both of us. I was confused. He was confused. What happened was really both of our faults, you could say…

He was a bird watcher, if I recall correctly. Just watched birds all the time. I thought it might have been out of jealousy—watching those little things flying around makes you feel kind of stuck. I felt stuck.

So I decided to be a bird for a while to see if it was really all it’s cracked up to be. Squished myself into the body of this lovely American crow. We settled down, built a nest, and laid several nice, healthy eggs with a man-bird by the name of “Richard Baxter.”

He was a very proud bird, very large. And he gave me so many wonderful gifts. Like children, and also small pieces of plastic.

I still have all of them.

The plastic, not the children.

I’d never been so happy, all these hormones had me consumed in the joy of motherhood, but the crow’s health was failing. I could not sustain myself—it’s pathetic little heart beat weaker and weaker.

I tried starving, I tried everything I could, I wanted to be a bird so bad. But it just wasn’t working out.

The bird stopped working.

The other crows held a funeral service for me, even though I was still alive. I tried to tell them, but I’m not good at speaking, you remember.

It was all just a big mess.

I haven't seen Baxter since, but I still think about him a lot.

Is that weird?

I’m totally over it though, haha.

After that incident, I got kind of depressed... I possessed a lot of trash animals—gulls, racoons, and salespeople. I did what I could to survive. That’s kind of where I am now.

I am currently living in Miami florida—been body surfing almost every day (haha). Right now I’m using a library computer and a librarian. She does not like being possessed, boy howdy are these fingers twitching. But you can thank her for my halfway decent grammar.

I’m tired of feeling like a parasite.

I want to try a different approach.

I want to be friends? Like with Richard Baxter except I also live in your brain and drink your blood sometimes. But I’ll make you bread in your sleep, so it’s okay.

It’s been really hard finding someone willing to put up with me.

I’ve tried everything.

So I thought I would put up an advertisement online, why not?

Can’t say the P word in real life, but you can hear it in your head loud enough I hope.

I know I kept saying that I would compensate you financially, but I’m going to be real with you, I don’t have much. I’ve got like twenty bucks, some small pieces of plastic and a book about...finance....

But I’m a real hoot! ;D

So,

(P)lease,

If you are interested, leave your comments below. I would love to get to know you :)

I need to go now, the library is closing soon, but I’ll get back as soon as I can.

#short fiction #short story #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #this is a story I posted on reddit a few years ago #and I'm reposting it here #Pie writes #parasite #mind control parasite #yeerk #animorphs #body snatcher #nosleep #r/nosleep

[storiesfromafan]

Dandelion

A/N: Back with Part 2! If you haven’t read Traitor, please do :) Hope this one lives up to what I wish it too. Haha. There will be a Part 3, just not sure when it will be up. As I haven’t started writing it yet. Been in a bit of a writers burnout.

Feel free to comment/message me with idea’s or anything.

Pairing: Mattheo x Fem!Reader Ravenclaw

Out of all the season’s Spring had always been your favourite, Mattheo recalled as he found himself out in a small field of wildflowers, that was a reasonable distance from the castle. It was a spot you both had spent every free moment at in Spring together. But now he was here alone, no you by his side. And it was his own responsibility you weren’t, for he ended it with you over four months ago. He had done it for the right reason, saving you from his father. From getting hurt because of him. Saving you from his darkness. Yet he missed the light you brought to his life. He missed who he was with you.

Brushing his fingers over various wildflowers that surrounded him, Mattheo recalled their individual names. Such as oxeye daisy, lesser celandine, cow parsley, dandelion. The last one being a mix of yellow flowers and the seed heads, most commonly picked and blown, its white sprouts flying off into the sky. A past time you enjoyed, claiming to make a wish with everyone. Nearly everything in his everyday routine and life reminded him of you.

When someone would say his name. Mattheo recalled how you would say his name; be it when you were happy, sad, angry, scared, breathless, sleepy, laughing. Or when he flirted with Anna. He remembered the first time he flirted with you, you had either been oblivious to it or playing hard to get. Because he knew you liked him, as he liked you too. You’d been a bit of a challenge, but in the end you both won when you got together. He hadn’t known anyone like you, still didn’t. He knew there would never be another you. He was glad about that. There was no one like his Y/N…or rather was his Y/N, he had to remind himself of that a lot.

Maybe, it's the way you say my name

Maybe, it's the way you play your game

But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you

But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you

You had come into his life during a hard time. His father and the Death Eater’s had been plotting and planning their next move and possible future moves. His father had been continuously hard on him, and only getting worse. The expectations he had to live up to were great, greater than anyone his age. But then there was you.

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime

And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

Meeting you at a Ministry party that he attended with Lucius and Draco. Your father putting the three of you together. You all knew each other, or rather knew of each other, rarely your path’s crossed. There were a few classes together, but Mattheo had never talked to you. But he was glad he had been placed with you, for talking to you was a breath of fresh air. You treated him and Draco like any other student. You tried to make conversation, and he tried to return it, which you were grateful for. And from there it only became more. Once back at school he seeked you out, making time to chat with you. Talking turned to flirting, and flirting led to dating. Then you became his Ravenclaw beauty, then Ravenclaw Princess after you helped him through so many spiraling moments because his father.

Mattheo picked one of the dandelions with the fuzzy white seed heads, bringing it up and examining it. He never saw the fascination you had in the weed. It didn’t hold any real beauty like a rose, but it had a unique quality.

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

He recalled the first time you’d both came to this spot. You had named the wildflowers before laying down on the grass, the wildflowers surrounding you. He thought you look breathtakingly beautiful; you were made for wildflowers. From how your soft locks sprawled out around you, to the content smile that graced your tempting lips.

Then there were your eyes. Your bright E/C orbs staring up at him, a warmth and admiration shining in your eyes as you looked at him. It brought a soft smile to his lips, as you returned his smile. In that moment Mattheo felt comfortable, at ease from how your warmth brought him happiness.

And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

Mattheo slowly twirled the dandelion between his fingers, as the memories crossing his mind of you reminded him of what he missed. Silently praying he had kept you by his side. Anger slowly began to build, anger at himself for hurting you. But he slowly let it go, reminding himself over and over it was to save you.

Wishing on dandelions all of the time

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine

Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

I think that you are the one for me

You. The brightness in that darkness of his life. The tether that kept him grounded. The one who showed him compassion and love, knowingly or unknowingly. You were everything to him. You were the one for him...but he couldn’t allow that.

The memory of the Yule Ball came to Mattheo’s mind. The first time he’d seen you dressed like the Princess you were. The dress you’d had chosen to wear was the perfect shade of F/C, fitted your frame perfectly with a skirt that flowed to the floor like water. The neckline was tasteful and the straps just thick enough and perfectly adjusted against your skin. Your neck and shoulders were on display, as your hair was up.

'Cause it gets so hard to breathe

When you're looking at me, I've never felt so alive and free

When you're looking at me, I've never felt so happy

Mattheo, watching you walk towards him, left him speechless. And with some tempting thoughts. Upon coming to stand before the Slytherin male, the bright smile you gave him caused his heart to skip a beat. This beauty before him had chosen him. You took his arm, while greeting him. The happiness and pride Mattheo felt as he led you into The Great Hall, eyes looking at you both, had him standing taller and confident.

That night you had both danced the night away; be it a formal dance or when the Weird Sisters took over the stage, and you both just let go. Mattheo was able to let go, a night to be free. You were just as free. Laughing, dancing and showing Mattheo attention. From dancing together, holding hands or little kisses. He had wished that moment could have been forever.

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime

And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

Being the gentleman that he was, and wanting every possible moment with you, Mattheo had walked you back to the Ravenclaw house door. During the walk you had both tried to take as long as possible. First taking a long route to the door, walking slowly, taking moments to appreciate paintings or sculptures on the walk. Anything and everything to make this moment together last.

And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay, when I see you smile, smile

Eventually you made it to your destination. You both looked at each other, neither wanting to unlock your hands from the other. Mattheo brought his hand up to brush some of your framing hair behind your ear, before cupping your cheek with that hand.

“You look so beautiful tonight” he said softly, eyes locked with your own.

“Yes...you already told me that” you replied just as softly, scared if you were any louder it would break the moment.

Mattheo smiled. “I know, but you deserve to be told every minute of every day how beautiful you are”.

Those words of his made your breath hitch, before shakily exhaling. These were the moments you treasured. The reassurance of Mattheo’s feelings. He might not speak of his feelings for you, but words like this, with the looks he gave you, spoke louder than anything.

Moving closer, Mattheo finally dipped his head down and captured your lips with his. The peck was soft, testing the waters. Pulling back, he looked to your eyes, and seeing the joy and restlessness in them, he went in again. This time he was firmer, tongue coming out to run along your bottom lip for permission. You didn’t waste time, opening your mouth to him. Mattheo took the lead, his tongue dancing with your own, in a breathtaking kiss. You both could feel how the other felt.

Pulling back when air was needed, you both watched the other with a blissful smile on your faces. Mattheo continued to caress your cheek as you watched each other. But time was fleeting, and you both had to part ways. With one final peck to your lips, Mattheo stepped back, his hand leaving your cheek.

“Goodnight Princess” he said softly. “Till the morning”.

You nodded your head, “goodnight, Theo”.

Reluctantly you turned from him and stepped up to the Ravenclaw door. Briefly you stopped and looked over your shoulder at him. He gave you a cheeky smile and a final goodnight, and you then passed through the door. It closed with a small noise. And Mattheo was left alone, but he felt on top of the world.

Tossing the dandelion from his hands, Mattheo scrunched up his face at the weed. How silly it was the believe making a wish on the weed would come true. It was childish. Yet you did it. You believed in it. You had confided in him that once you’d made a wish on the weed, asking to do well in Snape's class once, for the potion you’d be making was tricky. And you had managed to not ruin it. So, it became almost a ritual of yours, making wishes on weeds.

Wishing on dandelions all of the time

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine

Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

Looking at the dandelions around him, Mattheo contemplated taking a page from your book. But then the rational side of him told him too not be stupid. So, he turned from the weed and back to the school in the distance. But the curiosity of making a wish crept up, and with a sigh Mattheo picked another dandelion.

He glared at the weed, silently telling it to work. Drawing in a breath, he blew the white fuzzy seeds from the weed, and thinking ‘I wish my father doesn’t hurt her...’

Dandelion, into the wind you go

Won't you let my darling know?

Dandelion, into the wind you go

Won't you let my darling know that?

Mattheo put everything into that wish. He didn’t want anything to happen to you. He wanted to keep you safe, from his father...and from him. With what was to come, he would wish on every weed on the grounds if he had too. If anything happened to you, Mattheo wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

Picking another dandelion, he intended to make the same wish, hoping to make it come true. But before he blew the fuzzy white seeds, you came to mind clearly. And as he released his breath, freeing the seeds, he found himself wishing to see you right then.

He watched the seeds float up in the sky, dancing from the breeze before floating off back towards the castle. For a moment he watched them float before disappearing, and an approaching form came into his line of vision. As they got closer, Mattheo’s breath caught in his throat, as he saw who it was. You. If his wish had been answered so soon, would his first wish come true too?

When you drew closer you finally realized your spot had been taken. For sitting there among the wildflowers was the last person you wanted to see; Mattheo. The look that crossed your face was sour, which Mattheo saw. You went to turn around and head back to the castle before he got up quickly, calling your name.

“Y/N! Wait” Mattheo called standing a meter behind you.

You looked over your shoulder, “what?” You spat.

Mattheo sighed. “You...you can have the spot” he said softly, looking down at the ground. “I was going to leave anyways”.

He walked around you slowly, and once he was five steps from you, Mattheo stopped before turning back to you. You had been watching him the whole time, studying him closely. You noted the sullen look upon his face, how his eyes lack any shine and how he seemed to have no fight. He was a shell of himself, like you had seen time and time before.

“Are you alright?” You found yourself asking, not thinking. For he was meant to be the bad guy.

Your question caused his heart to ache. Even after all he had done you still asked if he was alright. You may not entirely care, but still took time to ask him. Sighing Mattheo looked away from you. Unsure how to answer you. He didn’t want to lie, nor did he want to upset you. Damned if he do, damned if he didn’t.

“I’m...okay” he breathed, trying to convince himself. “Things have been...hard lately, with home”.

You nodded. “Understandable” you said softly, watching his every movement. Not fully believing his words. For there was truth but also a bit of skirting around it.

Silence took over after that, the spring breeze picking up in that moment. You watched as the breeze tossed Mattheo’s curls around. How you had missed combing your hands through those curls. It was something Mattheo had enjoyed; it soothed his mind and relaxed him. The temptation to do it now growing strong, for the boy before you were in turmoil. You shook your head at the thought of being close to the one who broke your heart.

You had thought it was the breeze playing tricks, but seeing his moving lips showed it was Mattheo who spoke. “I’m sorry” was what he said softly, almost missed by your ears.

At first you were shocked by his apology, followed by a small warm feeling in your chest. Before it died and a slow burn of anger began to take hold of you. How could his words make up for everything? How could he so bluntly say sorry.

“Excuse me?” You questioned, tone a little sharp.

Mattheo looked to you, and seeing your reaction to his words, he was shocked. He had hoped it would have helped. “I’m sorry” he repeated turning to face you. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like I did”.

You blinked a few times, blood slowly coming to a boil. “How can you just say that?” You questioned a little loudly. “How does apologizing make up for what I’ve been through?”

Valid questions Mattheo noted. “It doesn’t. But I want you to know that I am sorry-”

You scoffed. “Yeah right. The Mattheo Riddle I know would never say sorry. He might show it, but never openly apologize”.

He frowned. “That is true, but I wanted to put it into words. I at least owe you that”.

“You owe me nothing! Nor do I want it!” you yelled, hands clenching. “You hurt me. Simple as that. And for that I don’t want your apology. So, keep it”.

Mattheo nodded his head. “I deserve that”. His face fell, eyes looking at the ground. He looked so weak.

You took a step back. Taking in his demeanor. You could see cracks of how effected Mattheo was. You wondered how long before it would shatter. The want to hold him, run your fingers through his curls while telling him that he was alright, was strong. And though you didn’t want to, you decided to say the next words.

And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

“It’s alright” you sighed. “I don’t entirely forgive you, but I half accept it” you said watching his face.

Hearing your words, Mattheo’s eyes snapped to you. His dull brown eyes, now shinning with confusion, looked right into your E/C orbs. He could see how unsure you were in their reflection. But with it was a small familiar look; admiration. After all he’d done, you still admired him. Part of you wanted him to apologize but majority of you wanted to punch his pretty face.

“You do?” He choked out. “Why?”

Your face softened, thinking over his words. “I won’t lie. I was hurt. I was angry” you looked him dead in the eyes. “But what has it gotten me? Where has it gotten me? It has left me bitter, and it’s gotten me no where”.

He nodded his head slowly.

“So, I’d rather accept some of it than nothing. Because I look back at our time together and I know I was happy” you said fondly, memories coming to mind. “You made me happy Theo. And I would love to see you in as much agony as me, but part of me still hates to see it”.

“Just part?” Mattheo said with a small smirk, trying to lighten the moment. Which you softly smile at.

There might be so much, good and bad between you both, but some familiarity was there. As well as some closure. He said sorry, and you believed me meant it. You had half accepted his apology, which lightened Mattheo’s worries.

You both continued to stare at the other. Unsure what to say, or what to do. But you were the one to break eye contact when you turned, planning to take the spot Mattheo had been occupying. He looked at you, mind thinking so many things. But the one thought screaming to him was your safety. He had to make sure you were safe.

Wishing on dandelions all of the time

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine

Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

“Would it be strange if I asked you to stay away from Hogwarts next year...to not come back?” Mattheo was unsure but voice a little panicky.

You turned back to him, confusion on your face. “Huh? What are getting at?”

Mattheo moved from foot to foot. “Next year, don’t come back to Hogwarts. I can’t say anything...but I need you to be safe”.

You studied the Slytherin, unsure if he was pulling your leg. But his eyes told you he was serious. “Answer me this; will you be safe here next year?”

He shook his head. “Probably not”.

You gave a short nod. “Then I can’t promise you anything. I will be here next year, no matter what”.

Mattheo’s heart ached at your words. Not what he had hopped. But you were honest. And he didn’t give you a reason why not to return to school. He just hopped you wouldn’t be in the cross fire of what’s to come.

With that, you took your spot amongst the wildflowers while Mattheo took a moment watching you. He was taking in the sight before him, putting it to memory. With it all said and done, Mattheo turned from you and started to head back to the castle.

He wasn’t sure what was to exactly come. But he would make sure, as best to his abilities, that you would be safe from it all. Mattheo needed you to be safe, for no harm to come to you. Be it his father or him, you would be safe.

Tags: @iheqrtaustin @ash-whimsicalfanfic

I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

#mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo riddle x fem!reader #Spotify

[anantaru]

so guys 🙋🏻‍♀️🌸 i have finished the entire new quest at last and omg 👼🏼 like this was outstanding!! you see, what i really enjoy about star rail is that it gives me similar vibes to hi3 in terms of the darkness in the plot, since hi3 is my favorite hoyo game i always love seeing stuff from it or just similar instances. SO YOU KNOW FOR A FACT I WAS SO HYPED WHEN ACHERON SHOWED UP 🤺 especially with the hi3 story with kiana as the mc being over and although i still love hi3 the most, kiana, mei and bronya, that trio, they were all the best characters together AAAARGHHH I SWEAR AND JUST THE ENTIRE STORY LINE WAS SOOO GOOD, I miss them all together as a trio and especially kiana, the best hoyo MC FOR LIFE. 🙋🏻‍♀️🩷

also 🤠 ^^ that frame with sunday and dr ratio like 😙😙 WAS SO FUNNY I HAD TO SS IT. 🤺

the amount of cutscenes we got to see again was so fun, it felt like watching a movie slowly unfold while you got to be a part of it 🩷 you can tell that hoyoverse gets better and better with each update on whatever game and that the cutscenes are always so well done (i always liked them but the constant upgrades ??? insane) 🙏🏻

+ the acheron one shotting aventurine lmao 🧎🏻‍♀️ it was my favorite though ngl HAHA 🙋🏻‍♀️🩷 no matter how much i like aventurine as a character, MEI OMG MEEEIIIIII 👹🩷 SHE WILL FOREVER BE MY LOVE LIKE I KNOW ITS ACHERON BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN !!!!! 🙇🏻‍♀️ LIKE THE CUTSCENE WITH HER HORNS OH MY GOOOD THE NOSTALGIA LIKE YES GO OFF SHOW THEM

also guys, idk but aventurine's boss fight, 🤠 i personally expected more like it was so easy to beat ?! I THOUGHT I WOULD STRUGGLE BUT HE DIED PRETTY QUICKLY BUT ITS FINE, I STILL LIKE HIS CHARACTER 🌸🙋🏻‍♀️. + i was happy hoyoverse showed us his backstory and took their time to flash it out and not gloss over it in idk one/two scenes, but they really took their time with it which was amazing 🩷

also jade looks so cool as well! the design is very pretty and i can't wait to see diamond too, or the rest of the ten stonehearts but they're hyping diamond up so much like another emanator?? yes please, i'm all in🧎🏻‍♀️🩷

this entire quest gave me movie vibes, you were on edge the entire time and even during side quests you had to take, it was still very intense. it actually took me quite a bit to finish it of course since i'm someone who doesn't skip dialog, but it was so worth it and the best way to relax after a long day of moving my body 🩷 just laying in bed, playing while drinking tea!!

what i wanted to say too, guys honestly sunday is not okay HAHAHAHAHAHAH 🌝 I MEAN LIKE you guys🧎🏻‍♀️, that shiver in his voice at times and you can tell he low-key doesn't even know how to handle all of that either, of course, for one he looks like everything is accounted for while in the other, he sounds like he's losing his mind and can we blame him ???? when he went "why did you kill her" and lowkey cussed gallagher out i was like damn 🤠 okay 😏 HAHA + i'm somebody that doesn't think too much about theories, instead i love eagerly waiting for the next patch!! so i'm excited for what's coming 🩷 + robin's song slaps.

last but not least 🤺 you see, gallagher wasn't really somebody i was very interested in, but damn the second he turned dangerous and spicy i went oh my oh hey what's up ?? 😏 giggles HAHA LIKE WHAT IS IT ABOUT MEN WHO ARE JUST SUDDENLY EVIL AND IDK MAYBE HE ISNT COMPLETELY RIGHT AAAAAA OOOOO UUUU WWWWW AAAAA but anyways, 🌸 the last cutscene low-key hurt me like what do you mean sunday gets off screened while i was saving up for him for what? 👹 ever since fuxuan like how can you do this to me + no way they're dead dead 🤠because the last conversation aventurine had with acheron was very important to the next patch i'm pretty sure! 🩷

all in all guys!! 🩷 this quest was beautifully done, it had a lot of hard, dark stuff and it reminded me a lot of hi3, that's why i give it a 10/10, very well done. 🌸🩷

#، 𝜗𝜚 —￤ yoru plays [honkai star rail] ⋆ #honkai star rail spoilers #hsr spoilers

[angelltheninth]

If it is alright with you, maybe yandere Midoriya or even Dabi, heavily stalking reader and eventually getting tired of just that so they decide to take the reader.

Oh that is dark but so delicious. You got it Anon.

Pairing: Izuku Midoriya, Dabi x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, dub-con, stalking, yandere behavior, possessive sex, alleyway sex, creampie, whimpering, pro-hero!Deku, reporter!Reader (for Dabi)

A/N: I've been cooking this one up for a while now, hope you all like it.

DEKU

When Deku has enough of waiting for you to notice him and all that he's been doing for you, going out of his way to stick close to you to protect you, taking time out of his training just to hang out with you, he decides to be more direct with you. Breaking into your room and pinning you down to the bed was really the only option left.

"I wanted to confess to you for so long, I wanted to feel you for so long. I don't have a lot of experience but... I hope this feels good for you too. Tell me if I'm doing something wrong."

A little hard to talk when his hand is over your mouth to muffle your moans and whimpers. You knew there was someone following you around lately. Never pictured that it would the sweet and smiling Deku. He's still smiling down at you as his hard cock pushes inside of you, a lot thicker then you anticipated him to be. He was supposed to be a pro-hero, someone to save you, someone you admired from afar. Not someone you have in your bed, thrusting wildly between your legs, making your legs go numb with the force of it.

"So good! You feel so goo! Amazing! Much better then I thought, and so much tighter too. Ah! S-Stop clamping down on me! I want this to last. I need it to last, we need to enjoy ourselves. The first time between a couple is supposed to be the most memorable. Ah! St- Ah! Damn it!"

Deku became very sloppy in his thrusting, his face pinkened pink as he was the one moaning and whimpering high enough for the both of you as you felt his hot cum filling your pussy up. He can't stop thrusting when he feels your walls milking him for more, your body snapping under him, your teeth biting into his finger.

"Oh. I guess you did end up feeling pretty good after all. I'm glad! I always want you to feel good with me. From now on I'll try to last longer okay? You just... felt so good and I lost control over myself. A little embarrassing haha. I'll do better for you. That's a hero's promise."

DABI

Dabi knew that you were watching him, you were a reporter, it was your job but for some reason you always showed up only where was at, and you always covered his stories. That's right he's noticed you, and guess what he wants to reward you for all your hard work. He even went out of his way to meet you in the city, in broad daylight.

"Sorry this alley is a little bit uncomfy for you sweetheart, but I don't want everyone to see what a slut you really are. It didn't even take that much for you to open your legs for me, shows how desperate you are for some good dick."

He's holding you up by your ass cheeks, rough fingers hot on your naked flesh while he thrusts inside you with wild abandon, the sound of cars and trains passing by covering your whimpers. With your panties hanging off your foot you can comfortably wrap your legs around him to pull him closer, deeper. But should you? Dabi is a villain, you know all the bad things he's done... yet you can't help but want it. You need him closer, need his cock so deep.

"I saw you watching my every move. Didn't think I was watching back did you? Not only that but I've seen you, fucking yourself on that dildo, moaning my name. I almost... fuck... I almost took you right there and then. But it was more fun to play this little game of cat and mouse with you."

Knowing Dabi wants you as much as you want him sends you over the edge and into the hardest orgasm of your life, your hips rocking down on him, his balls smacking into you loudly as his big cock twitches and explodes with cum, directly into your womb. He looks really smug when he sees it all dripping down on the concrete floor.

"Oh look at that! You finally got what you deserved, what you wanted! There's a lot more where that came from. You just make sure to show up like you've always been and I'll give you something better then a news story. Or... I could always visit and we can have a private night time interview."

#bnha x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #bnha x fem!reader #boku no hero academia x female reader #bnha headcanons #boku no hero acedemia headcanons #bnha hcs #bnha imagines #boku no hero academia imagine #bnha smut #boku no hero academia smut #deku x reader #dabi x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #touya todoroki x reader #deku smut #dabi smut

[chishiyasleftnut]

Hi!

I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH!

Can I request a (funny) valentines day gone a bit wrong smut?

Hi there (｡♥‿♥｡) Happy (early) Valentine’s Day! I’ve learned that I really enjoy doing these seasonal fics haha, so thank you for suggesting it!

As for other requests: I am working on them! My semester has started and I’m still working on an exam from the last semester, so my schedule is PACKED. I will get to them, though!

Delayed Valentine's

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Warnings: Smut. Pairing: Chishiya x fem!reader.

Plot: Chishiya wants to surprise fem!reader with something special for Valentine’s Day, but his plans don’t go as expected.

2434 words. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

If there was one thing Chishiya didn’t have a lot of experience with, it was romance. Sure, he was a pretty good flirter, charming anyone he set his mind out to charm, but this was different; this was you. He had already ‘charmed’ you. You were his, through and through, and had been so consistently for a while now, long enough that he even dared to call it love.

Even though showing love was completely new territory for him, it didn’t mean that he didn’t try. No, Chishiya had decided to try very hard, and seeing as Valentine’s Day was coming up, the timing couldn’t be better.

He knew that he could go the easy route: buy some roses, put on some sensual music, and make a romantic dinner just for the two of you, but that was almost too easy. You had probably had other boyfriends in the past who did that, so he knew he had to up his game. Simple wasn’t good enough, not when it came to you.

After researching online, he came up with the perfect plan: a romantic getaway. Just you, him, beautiful scenery, and no responsibilities. From what he could gather online, this was something that women loved, so he was pretty sure you would too. Then the organisation began: booking tickets to Okinawa, finding a beautiful and luxurious hotel, researching good restaurants in the area, and calling your boss to convince them to let you take a few days off. Luckily, it all went smoothly. The day prior he packed both of your bags with all the necessities and a few gifts. This would be great, he thought.

You didn’t learn of the plan until the night before and even then, he kept it annoyingly vague. You walked into your shared apartment wrapped in various winter garments to keep you warm in the cold, Tokyo February weather. Chishiya greeted you at the entrance, leaned against the wall.

“We’re going somewhere tomorrow.”

“What, after work?” you asked sounding both surprised and happy. You were well aware that tomorrow was Valentines Day but didn’t expect Chishiya to remember (or care).

“No,” he said with a smirk. “You’re not going to work. We’re going to the airport at 7am.”

You were just about to argue - you couldn’t just skip work, what was he thinking? - when he pulled you closer, his lips grazing your forehead.

“I have sorted everything out, don’t worry,” he whispered. “Just trust me.”

-----------

7am the next morning you were hauled into a taxi, still half asleep while Chishiya and the taxi driver loaded the trunk with your luggage. For the entire drive, Chishiya sat beside you with an arm around you, kissing your temple and whispering into your ear about how he was going to spoil you for the entire trip.

To your surprise, Chishiya was likewise as cuddly the entire way through airport security, despite him otherwise seldomly participating in PDA. His hand rarely left your waist, only letting you go to pass through the metal detector and immediately touching you again once he joined you on the other side.

Due to Chishiya’s perfectionism, you had plenty of time to peruse the various airport stores before it was time to board the plane, looking at everything from perfumes to tacky souvenirs. Every time you tried to make a purchase, Chishiya would pull out his credit card before you even had a chance to pay yourself. He was taking Valentine’s Day seriously, it seemed, but you obviously weren’t complaining. It was nice being pampered.

Having finished your shopping, Chishiya led you to a nearby flight board to check what gate you had to proceed to.

“Ah fuck,” you heard him mumble. Curiously you followed his line of sight and noticed the big, red letters saying DELAYED displayed next to your flight number.

“That’s okay,” you quickly said to calm Chishiya down. “It’s probably just a little bit late.”

Oh boy were you wrong.

10 minutes turned into 30, which before you knew it had turned into 4 hours spent on uncomfortable metal airport seats. Chishiya looked particularly tense, his leg anxiously bouncing, and his jaw clenched - perhaps because his well-throughout plan was crumbling before his eyes and he wasn’t entirely sure how to remedy the situation.

This was definitely not how either of you wanted to spend Valentine’s Day. The day was supposed to be spent at a beach resort with a fruity drink in hand, not at Haneda Airport’s terminal 1. But here you were, facing two choices: either you went home and cancelled the rather expensive trip, or you stayed waiting at the gate for God knows how long.

It was clear to you that it was those two choices that Chishiya was internally trying to make sense of. If you left now, he could drive you to a spa somewhere and then maybe get you dinner after. That wouldn’t be a bad plan, but it would mean wasting a ton of money on non-refundable plane tickets and hotel reservations.

Chishiya groaned and leaned back on the uncomfortable chair. He rarely outwardly showed displeasure like that, but you couldn’t blame him. With his hand in yours, you began drawing circles on his palm with your thumb. The contact seemed to calm him down somewhat, his leg slowly quieting down and his jaw unclenching.

“It could be worse, you know?” you said softly, trying to make him feel better.

“How could it possibly be worse?” he sighed with closed eyes.

“I don’t know... Godzilla could be wrecking the airport? I could be pregnant? A lot of things could make it worse!”

Chishiya slowly opened his eyes to look at you like you were insane.

“Ah yes, the well-known, very realistic situation of a giant, radioactive lizard ruining our Valentine’s Day plans.” he said dryly. “As for the pregnancy thing: don’t even say it. You’ll jinx it and we’ll be stuck changing diapers for the next few years.”

His tone shut you up immediately. Normally he would at least chuckle a bit at your nonsensical words, but it didn’t seem like he had the spoons for humour right now. Unsure what else to do, you continued to draw circles on his palm until he closed his eyes again. 

You felt bad knowing that he had tried so hard to make you feel loved, just for everything to go wrong. At this point you didn’t even care about the trip to Okinawa, you just wanted him to feel as happy as he had intended to make you feel. The least you could do was make him relax a bit. And that’s when you had a lightbulb moment, causing you to lean in closer to him, your breath tickling his skin as you whispered.

“Let’s go to the bathroom.”

The blonde turned to look at you. Although he knew what your intentions were, he was still confused as to why you were suddenly in the mood for public sex. Surely failed plans wouldn’t get you in the mood.

“Come on,” you repeated with a smile, standing up and pulling Chishiya with you towards the nearest accessible bathroom.

Once inside, you locked the door and turned to look at Chishiya who still looked quite confused albeit now also a tad amused.

“May I ask why you’ve pulled me into a handicap stall?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and the faintest smile on his lips.

“Well 1) I’m terribly bored,” you laughed, causing Chishiya’s grin to widen too. “And 2) I can see how tense you are about this entire thing not going as you envisioned. I just want to tell you that it’s okay. I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Is that so?”

“Mm,” you hummed and nodded. “It was very sweet of you to plan all of this. So, thank you.”

With two confident steps, you walked closer to your boyfriend and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself in close to him. Without even thinking, Chishiya’s hands found their way around your waist, squeezing you slightly.

“Let’s just forget about the plane for a minute and celebrate Valentine’s Day anyway. What do you say?”

Chishiya didn’t respond with words, but the smile on his lips as he leaned in to close the small gap between you told you all you had to know: he was finally relaxing.

Your lips met in an at first tender kiss, completely transporting the both of you to another universe - one that wasn’t an ambiguously clean airport bathroom. The only thing you felt was Chishiya’s soft lips on yours and his strong hands squeezing around your waist. Your lips parted, begging for Chishiya to explore you fully which he did.

All you could feel, hear, smell, and taste was him as he took over every single one of your senses. He backed you towards the wall, pressing you up against it with his own body. His hands moved from your waist to roam around your body, going up and down the natural valleys of your curves and traversing every inch of you.

With his body pressed up against yours you couldn’t help but feel his hardening length prodding your abdomen, only getting harder and harder the more skin his hands covered. Swiftly, he hiked up your skirt and slid his hand down your underwear causing you to gasp at the sudden sensation.

Your arms tightened around his neck as Chishiya began circling your clit, making you wetter and wetter with each orbit. Instinctively, you felt him grind up against your body to provide any sort of relief from the uncomfortably tight tent that was forming in his pants.

Unwilling to wait longer than he had to, Chishiya quickly pulled down your underwear, letting them slide down your body until they reached the floor where you stepped out of them. With full access to you, he likewise as rapidly dropped his own pants to the floor, pulled one of your legs up around his waist, and teasingly ran his tip up and down your wet folds, coating both him and you in your arousal.

“You’re already so wet for me” he murmured smugly, satisfied with your bodily response to his touch. His words sent fire straight to your core, making you whimper for his touch.

“Please” you whispered breathlessly into his ear, pleading to feel him fully.

Chishiya didn’t waste even a second before he sunk his fat tip into your entrance, pushing his entirety into you until he bottomed out and pressed up against your cervix. His body twitched and his breath turned shaky as he got used to the feeling of your tight, wet walls hugging him, simultaneously begging him to stay right where he was and to begin fucking you.

And he did just that. With rhythmic movements he repeatedly thrusted in and out of you, sending both of you to heaven with every plunge his dick made into your wet core. The sounds of your moans and whimpers echoed through the tiled walls of the bathroom, the only other sound being that of skin hitting skin.

With your fingers intertwined in his blonde locks, and his fingertips strongly digging into the fat on your hips, you immediately became one with one-another, transforming into a single being whose only purpose in life was pleasure - and it was certainly succeeding at that task.

“I want to see that pretty ass of yours” Chishiya growled into your ear before pulling out of you and leaving you feeling terribly empty.

The emptiness didn’t last long, though. Chishiya swiftly spun you around and lead you towards the sink, pushing your upper body over the cold porcelain.

With both hands firmly on the sink to stabilise you, you made eye contact with Chishiya in the mirror as he lined himself up at your entrance and immediately pushed in, fucking into you so good that your vision went blurry. The pleasure made it so that you didn’t even notice that he leaned down over you, positioning his mouth right next to your ear.

“God, I love you,” he half whispered, half groaned.

You wanted to reply, to tell him ‘I love you’ back, but nothing intelligible came out of your mouth. Chishiya, as always, found both humour and pride in the condition you were in.

“Mm, what’s that darling?” he purred smugly. “Use your words.”

“L-love you t-t-too” you finally stammered out.

“Good girl.”

Chishiya fully stood up again allowing for deeper thrusts, effectively hitting your cervix each time. It was the perfect mix of pain and pleasure, making you crave more in the moment despite knowing you’ll regret the roughness later.

“Mmph, m’close,” you mewled as your core tightened around Chishiya. “Don’t stop.”

Before you knew it, one of Chishiya’s hand has snaked from your hip and down in between your legs, aiding along the rapidly approaching orgasm by playing with the needy bud.

You came hard; so hard that Chishiya had to cover your mouth with his free hand to not attract unwanted attention from the rest of the airport. Chishiya came not long after, his hips stuttering until he half-collapsed down over you as he spurted his seed deep into you, his shaky breath dancing against your sweaty skin.

For a moment you both stayed in that position, too fucked out to do anything else. Chishiya was the first to come out of the trance-like state, kissing you on the cheek to awake you too before he stood up and got dressed again. You followed suit shortly after, putting on your still damp underwear to cover your core, which was dripping with both of your arousal.

With his hand around your waist, Chishiya led you back out to the waiting section by your gate. There, you were both greeted by a welcomed sight.

“Seems like boarding is in 10 minutes,” Chishiya commented casually as if he hadn’t spent the last 4 or so hours on stressing about the delayed flight. Perhaps the sex had helped to calm his nerves a bit.

“Thank God,” you exclaimed with a chuckle before sitting down and going through your bags to find your passport and boarding pass. “We’ve waited ages.”

Chishiya chuckled too, happy that you didn’t seem to mind too much that his otherwise lovely Valentine’s Day plan hadn’t worked out as he envisioned it. He helped you find the documents, holding the both of yours in his hands. To show his gratitude for your carefree approach to the entire situation, he gently placed a kiss on the forehead before whispering.

“You’re going to love the hotel.”

#aib chishiya #chishiya smut #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #shuntaro chishiya #aib #alice in borderland #chishiya x you #smut #valentines #valentines day #valentines story #alice in borderland chishiya shuntaro #alice in borderland chishiya #alice in borderland smut #chishiya #shuntaro chishiya x reader #shuntaro chishiya x you #aib shuntaro chishiya #aib chishiya shuntaro

[starleska]

Okok I've been sorta stalking your Wally writings for a bit and I WAS WONDERING- could I maybe get a Wally Darling x a person who stutters a lot when they're excited? I've been pretty insecure and in need of wally fluff if you're not too busy -w- remember to drink some water!! Thank you and have a wonderful day!

hello sweetie!!! haha, thank you very much for the stalkings, they're greatly appreciated - and for reminding me to stay hydrated! 🥰 ohhh this one is lovely!! 😭🙏 please don't worry, you needn't be insecure - stutters for any reason are just a natural part of human speech, and they're part of you, which is perfect 💖 i hope you enjoy :3c

Wally Darling x Reader with a Stutter headcanons

💖 the first time you meet Wally Darling, you're completely overwhelmed and can barely get a word out. on the best of days you're self-conscious about your stutter, but Wally is so drop-dead gorgeous he would've made anyone struggle to speak!! you flush, drop your eyes and fumble with your hands, feeling that familiar embarrassment welling up over you; it's so frustrating not being able to say what you mean. but you feel a reassuring hand on your shoulder, and look up to see Wally smiling and nodding at you. "Take your time," he says gently. "Sometimes speaking is hard for me too. You can say a lot with just your eyes." his warm demeanour is like slipping into a hot bath, and you let that comfort wash over you. although you're still bubbling with excitement and have trouble holding his gaze, you don't feel quite so self-conscious in Wally's presence.

💖 sometimes other people get impatient with your stutter, and try to talk over you - but Wally is having none of that. whenever someone tries to interrupt you or rush you along, Wally will confront them both reasonably, and in a way which shames them at the same time. "Isn't that quite rude of you, not letting them finish?" he asks, tilting his head on the side. "I sure am interested in what they have to say." whenever he does this, you feel a guilty rush of pleasure you're not used to: a sort of power reclamation, thanks to Wally reminding people that you deserve to be heard. you wonder if this has anything to do with Wally's unnerving stare...those who are on the receiving end of Wally's sweet passive-aggression never make the same mistake twice.

💖 it's common for you to have days where you feel down on yourself for your stutter, and Wally is always there to comfort you when this happens. even when everyone around you is perfectly kind and understanding, some days you figure it's best that you don't talk at all, and refuse to speak even to your closest friends. Wally notices when you're feeling this way, and likes to play a little 'zip-mouth' game with you, where he mimes locking his lips and throwing away the key. it becomes a contest to see who can go without speaking the longest, and Wally is very good at presenting interesting situations or funny gestures to try and make you talk and laugh. Wally never loses this game, and when you do finally break and speak to him - often giggling so much that you forget feeling bad about your stutter - Wally likes to lift your confidence. "There's that lovely voice," he says. "I missed it a lot. Let's not do this again soon, okay?"

#wally darling x reader #wally darling x you #wally darling #welcome home #welcome home arg #starleskasks #starleskawrites

[kwillow]

People are too nice to me and send me so many intriguing and prescient questions and scenarios about my imaginary friends. Some of these I would have a hard time responding to with drawings, so I've gotta just use my words (SO MANY WORDS) instead!

So, for all interested parties, in response to those questions, here come some LORE RAMBLES: THEO EDITION.

Asks and answers under the cut!

Thank you! “Strange but interesting” is what I aim for with him.

I don’t think I’ve talked about Theo’s voice before! To be honest, I often struggle to imagine precisely what my character’s voices are; the qualities of my mental performance for them varies from day to day. Still, I think with Theo I can formulate a description of some kind.

I imagine his voice to be on the higher end for a man, though not exaggeratedly so, along the tenor range. He can deepen his pitch purposefully to sound more imposing or masculine, but his voice tends to rise in pitch further and further when he’s tense, like a violin string on the verge of snapping. He speaks clearly and distinctly, sometimes to the point of almost biting off the ends of words rather than having them sloppily run into each other, and only rarely uses contractions. His voice has a slight nasal quality to it at times. When he’s angry, a bit of a rattling growl can edge the end of his words.

When he was young, he was a terrible stutterer. He made a concerted effort to train himself out of stuttering in his adolescent years, but he will still lapse into r-ruh-ruh-repeating his syllables if anxiousness gets the better of him and makes him forget to swallow those extra sounds.

He is an expressive speaker, far more so than he’d prefer. Like his pitch varies, so too does his volume, and he can swing from speaking so softly as to be almost inaudible to screaming with all the volume his lungs can muster in a moment. His cadence is full of exaggerated pauses for effect mixed with swift traipses through less important words said simply for the music of reciting them to himself; his conversational tone sounds more like a performer going through a soliloquy than casual speech. In large part, that’s because he’s had more pleasant experiences with theater than conversation.

As many have noticed, he has also a vocal tic. He makes nasally sounds and guttural grunts and growls involuntarily, more often when he’s nervous or upset about something. As he gets older and his body is less able to shrug off the effects of his little smoking habit, he wheezes and coughs in the middle of his sentences as well.

For most settings, I imagine him speaking in a highly affected Transatlantic accent, but in Amaranthine (which is what I assume people are asking about and what I’m defaulting to for these answers), his accent might be more typically British posh-y, like Received Pronunciation. Or maybe not, I mean, it’s a funny animal fantasy setting, so he could have any accent I like. :P

If you want auditory examples, I think something mixing the high-pitched, sibilant, nasally breathiness of Peter Lorre with the refined yet expressive voice of Vincent Price would get you pretty close to what I imagine. To break from the classic horror actor category, you can also throw in this animated series’ depiction of Doctor Octopus to add the all-important ingredient of “nerd factor” to his voice, haha.

He’s a bookworm, yes, but that means he likes to learn! In his case, he’s also someone who enjoys mastering (or at least getting competent at) new skills and is extremely likely to learn to do something well just because someone thinks he can’t. He also has the benefit of being kicked out of school and extremely unemployed, so for most of his life he had lots and lots of free time to take on all manner of niche hobbies if he so desired!

His drive to learn a new skill is motivated by a combination of practicality, gentlemanliness, a need to know how to handle his own business to have as little outside interference as possible or simple intellectual curiosity (which itself is often a cover for boyish whimsy about Cool Stuff). To give examples of practical skills he taught himself: most people probably wouldn’t expect him to be a good cook, but he learned to do that because his family lost their household staff, and someone had to figure out how to cook beef – and because he wanted to take better care of his mother after she fell ill. He’s a great seamster because he wanted to make alterations to his clothes to better fit his unusual proportions without suffering the indignity of being prodded and measured by some nosy tailor. Where he lives, engines are extremely uncommon, being used only for agriculture if at all, but if Theo did own his own automobile, he would learn how to fix the thing himself as best as he could because he wouldn’t want some stranger poking around in his precious baby. He does know how to repair basic clockwork mechanisms, though! (Even if he won’t fix his own pocket watch for weird sentimental reasons.) He taught himself to be ambidextrous purely because he worried about losing a hand in a freak accident one day. He never wants to be caught unprepared or feel like he can’t handle something on his own if he needs to.

For skills in the “oh but if I could do this it would be so cool – I MEAN GENTLEMANLY” camp… yeah, actually, he does like to fence. He might not be able to hold his own all that well against a trained opponent, partly just because of his own physical limitations, but he knows the footwork and he certainly enjoys fighting stationary enemies while role-playing in his head as a knight. (He would be exceedingly embarrassed if anyone knew that part.) He can dance – but only as half a pair – and play the piano – or at least the chords his fingers can reach. He makes model ships and is familiar with all their parts even though he’s never seen the ocean. He knows a fair bit about women’s fashion and could probably help a lady pick a flattering dress for a gala… if she didn’t mind dressing about decade out of style. He’s a fine marksman, though that does overlap with “practical skills” when you live in a world with monsters creeping around on the edges of towns. And that’s not even getting into his self-taught anatomy lessons! But maybe we shouldn’t get into that, for the sake of our stomachs.

I could keep rambling, but to summarize, Theo lacks worldly experience, but he is a curious little guy and has all kinds of weird skills rattling around in his skull. You never know what he’s gonna know! Except for anything involving successfully interacting with other people. He’s never going to know how to do that.

Theo is the sort of person who enjoys collecting things, in that he is often captivated by the history and sentimental value of objects that catch his eye, likes to have a little hoard he can lord over like a dragon, doesn’t see value in minimalism and is loath to get rid of anything he owns.

However, he’s a homebody who rarely traveled far from his hometown of Northcrest, a small and remote barony, and his family (and therefore he) did not have the kind of financial situation that allowed for many frivolous expenditures. Therefore, he cannot regularly obtain new items for his collections because he would quickly exhaust everything that caught his eye in his own town, and he would be wary of spending his family’s dwindling funds on something that only served to satisfy his own whims. If he were in different circumstances, able and willing to travel more broadly and possessing the kind of wealth that allowed him to fully indulge his fascinations, I’d imagine he’d have quite the collection of art, weapons, antique books, clothing, and other fineries. As it stands, he only rarely adds a new object to his own collections, and he instead contents his inner dragon by attempting to maintain and catalogue the acquisitions made by past Norths that have accrued in their manor over the generations. Still… a toy store in his town has made quite a profit off him by having new model trains in stock around his birthday and holidays.

I don’t think he’d be terribly enthused with an insect collection, regrettably. At least not a live one. Preserved, exotic kinds might at least hold the intrigue of far-off places, but something more mundane (and wrigglier) would repulse him more than fascinate him.

I’m going to say somewhere along the line between “absolutely not” and “it’s complicated.” Theo obviously gets fulfillment from looking after the people he cares about, and in Amaranthine, he’s been in a caregiver role for so long he takes a certain amount of comfort in it. Even so, if he somehow knew people thought that he “wants” the people he’s close with to fall ill, or have chronic poor health, he’d be horrified. Theo’s not exactly the most hale and hearty fellow himself (and he’s also made his health notably worse through the years via his own actions, good job on that bud), so he knows first-hand how miserable frequent illness is. He wouldn’t want someone to suffer through that. Also, witnessing his mother’s slow decline and death was harrowing for him, and part of why he flings himself into caring for Hyden is that he doesn’t want to see something like that again and is doing all he can to keep Hyden stable. It brings him comfort, but the stress of feeling responsible for someone’s health – and the stress of only being able to manage their symptoms and never fix the problem – takes a toll on him, too, even if he wouldn’t say so.

So, he wouldn’t blame a sickly partner for their condition, and he’d be willing to care for them and want to help them, but I don’t think he’d ever say he “wants” someone he cares about to be sick. Would he nonetheless be more likely to get close to someone sick versus someone well? Well, maybe. Theo has a bit of a dependent streak, not in that he needs someone to dote on him, but that he doesn’t feel like he has any worth in a relationship unless he can provide protection or assistance. But someone could easily satisfy his need to be needed in other ways, too. Like someone being clumsy and needing their clothes mended regularly, or having a deadbeat husband they need murdered, you know, stuff like that.

He doesn’t know much, and never cared to ask much either, like you imagine. He mostly just knows they’re not nobility, they do have some mage ancestry and ability, and beyond that aren’t important (according to Jocosa). Besides, as a history nerd, he has little interest in learning about his father’s side when his mother’s side has biographies, tapestries, records of badges and achievements and personal spellbooks in such great measure that he couldn’t hope to go through them all in his lifetime. Does Leonard’s side of the family have even one tapestry? No? How dull.

For his part, Leonard isn’t close to or fond of most of his family and isn’t very candid about his past life before becoming successful, so he was amenable to not talking much about his childhood or ancestry. He would prefer if Jocosa was similar restrained and didn’t extoll the virtues and history of her bloodline constantly, but alas, no. One of the consequences of marrying into snotty nobility, I suppose.

Oh, you’re on to something there! :)

Now, with someone like Theo, whose brain is a Gordian knot of congealing gray matter basting in a cerebral soup of self-deception, neuroticism, and concentrated hatred, it’s hard to point to one thing as the sole cause for any of his many issues. At the same time, I don’t want to just dump the entirety of Theo’s issues with his family and how they impact him psychologically because I worry that I could write a thousand words about it and still have five thousand more in me, and we all have other things to do with our time than read all that. That said, to briefly (ha) touch on what you’ve mentioned…

Many of Theo’s problems with intimacy, with needing to feel useful, with fearing connections with others, and so on do stem from his troubled family history. At least some of his self-loathing is borne from him, at a glance, looking more like the man he most despises instead of being the same long, slim, elegant creatures that form the roots and branches of his mother’s family tree. Although, the irony in that is that all the “bad” genetics that cause him grief and suffering come from his mother’s side – but he alternately blames the cruel gods and himself for being a freak, not his mother or grandpa or any of his weaselly ancestors for that.

It’s also true to say that Theo’s self-sacrificing and self-effacing acts of kindness towards his mother and to others he cares for are done in part to make up for the fact of his own existence. The fact that his beloved mother had to couple with a disgusting, loathsome, degrading, unfaithful cur of a man (have I mentioned Theo really hates his dad yet?) in order to bear him weighs heavily on his mind and warps his self-concept. As much as Theo knows his mother loves him, he also knows – and despises – that he if he’s his mother’s son, he’s also his father’s spawn.

Jocosa doesn’t talk at length about her problems to Theo, or anyone – she wouldn’t want to make Theo feel responsible for her woes and she isn’t the kind of woman to whine about her life’s tribulations besides – but Theo isn’t so ignorant that he can’t pick up on the tension in other’s conversations, read meaning into words left unsaid, or work backwards from what he is told to deduce the rotten truth behind what little he’s told. He knows that everything involving his conception was hard for her, even if she doesn’t say it, and he feels he needs to do everything in his power to make up for the suffering bringing him into existence put her through. ...And I could go on but I think that’s enough to get the picture for now. Have I mentioned I can write a lot of words about Theo??

I think Hyden would know better than to say something like that – out loud. Hyden does try to push Theo into a personal valet role. But Theo has his limits and Hyden is smart enough to not press them (too much, right away). Being referred to as a kind of servant is one of those limits that really pisses him off and would be a one-way ticket to not getting any more pillow fluffing. Also, for as much as he helps Hyden with daily tasks and provides whatever dotage he feels is required of him as an apprentice, caregiver or host, there are tasks a manservant would be responsible for that Theo categorically refuses to do (even though Hyden wishes he would).

I am greatly amused by the thought of someone trying to get a flower crown on Theo. I can’t imagine it’d ever go much better than people trying to put shirts on their cats. He just really doesn’t like situations wherein Stimulus I Have No Control Over Is Happening To Me.

He does tend to flip from fury to (relative) calm depending on the circumstance and the source of annoyance, so you’re spot-on with the variable reactions he could have to a floral intrusion. I would say he isn’t likely to use “witch” as an insult for the same reason as he wouldn’t use “harpy” or “ice queen” as an insult, which is that any kind of derogatory comment his mother was ever called might as well be a compliment in his books. “Harlot” is completely fair game, though.

Thanks a bunch for the kind words on my weird rat guy. So happy you like him!

(Also “dark fantasy rose type flower” made me laugh. God. He’s such an edgelord. Emphasis on the “lord”, with a title and arms and everything.)

Glad you like seeing him! I guess one of the benefits of me not getting particularly exotic with the colors or markings on my furry designs is that you can find associations to actual animals like this! I hope your pet rat had a better temperament than Theo does, though.

…Which sounds a little stupid considering quite a lot of these answers involved me talking at length about Theo being sad and self-sacrificing and crap like that. I swear to God he’s a nasty little bitchboy most of the time. I need to draw him biting someone on the face or insulting someone for being poor or eating someone’s eyeball or something again to balance the scales here.

Note to self.

#WHO WANTS TO READ 2800 WORDS ABOUT THEO?? WAIT COME BACK #i wrote this joke about anonymous letters but actually looking at these - #like half of them were actually sent by people non-anonymously #YOU ARE ALL SO BRAVE #also sorry to those of you who sent in asks months or years ago who either are in this or are worse AREN'T... #i do have plans for the asks I get but well #timeliness is not one of my skills #my draws #doodles #asks #theo #amaranthine