#it was really fun but i fucked up the sketch so i had to spend like three hours fixing it and my whole body hurts :)

[magnolia-sunrise]

the halloween special, i mean, Medieval AU continues>> the arrival of the grievously wounded Kingsguard disrupts Bastien's very isolated, very drunk rural village life - but in much different way than he expected. somehow, miraculously, Wolfgang slowly recovers, and the two of them spend many evenings sharing wine and stories by the fireside, finding each other to be pleasant company.

but how long will the vampire be able to resist the call of the priest's blood >:3

#oc art #original characters #art #sketch #medieval au #wolfgang #bastien #wolfien #comics #god this turned into such a meme fsifjs please i hope you enjoy #i had way too much fun sketching these #next time we will find out what happened in Week 3 #to give you more context about bastiens little life he had plans of rising through the ranks and becoming a respected and rich bishop #instead he ends up assigned to a fuck off village in the south where the people dont really like him and he doesnt really like them #he spends his days tending to the few animals he keeps and tending to his shitty wine #when a knight comes knocking on his door hes like fuck. its the cops and they finally realized we havent been paying taxes #luckily for him this particular knight is in worse trouble than his whole village #i never know how much people want to know so i try to write succint posts but i have Lore for each of these interactions. feel free to ask

[coralkrill]

I know it's been exactly two days since I said that I would be taking a break, but I realized I never really got to elaborate on a few things regarding Noah (The Narrator) and Ford (Timekeeper)'s appearance in relation to their story, since relaxing for a bit has let me work on proper character stories a bit more.

Um... spoiler for (sort of?) partial nudity, they're full body sketches but rest assured, nothing explicit is showing, everything sensitive is covered up, and it's in no suggestive way! It's important because it does go in-line with their story.

And if I see any of you being weird about Ford again I will personally and publicly call you out on my blog

Stanley's being left out here, at least this time, because there's really nothing special about his appearance despite his goofy little dot eyes.

So, what are we looking at?

Noah has a partial-body scar across the left side of his torso and his left upper arm! Back when he was completely human (yes, he really was once fully human!) He attempted to fully dedicate himself to his writing and storytelling as a part-time author, in a world technologically advanced enough to have closed trial runs and proofs of concept when it came to an experimental machine that, in all aspects, was a bit like a sensory chamber mixed with full-body VR inside a computer and the Internet; the only thing separating it from modern tech was that it was a lot bigger and more clunky than the VR headsets we have in this day and age.

Being a man with a soul-sucking 9 to 5 who just barely got by on money to have a nice apartment and some comforts, but who didn't have enough spending money or the apartment space for the giant pods, Noah took to... well, building one himself. He had the blueprints and some experience in building things, how hard could it be?

Well... he certainly did build one. It was EXTREMELY unsafe, but he built one. Hooking himself up, he flipped the power switch without a test run and it had a bit of a shocking result, haha. To put it simply, he did manage to slip into the digital world, but his computer stationed at his left side experienced an electricity surge and completely fried his physical body beyond saving, represented by the scars on his digital self and a slight voltage in his body, enough to dimly light a bulb in his hand. It only takes a bit of appearance tweaking in the files to hide the scars, although they do revert if he's very emotional.

It's interesting to think of how he would've fared if Noah never uploaded his consciousness, but that's a story for another time. The only thing I'd say is that... he'd probably look like this!

Now that we have Noah out of the way, it's Ford time! One thing I never noted with their appearance, due to it being mostly covered up by clothes, is that they have fairly visible stretch marks. What, you really didn't think they were always 8'11", did you? In their "Pre-Parable" look, back when it was an office simulator running basic AI, Ford was much shorter, both in height and hair length.

Due to "unknown" circumstances, though, Noah panicked and tried to delete Ford's code, but the AI caused the files to corrupt in the background, still existing, causing rapid growth to start and their demeanor to become... well, the way it currently is. With the changes happening in such a short time, it's expected that they would have many growth marks to show for it. Their current form, as crazy as it is, is only very early in the corruption, so their body is going to get REALLY fucked up millennia from the story's present if they don't figure a way to keep a hold on it. And to add insult to injury, they blame The Narrator for it all.

What's fun is that, something I never realized until now, the discoloration on Ford's left half perfectly copies Noah's scars! That's fun!

...And if you're asking why I noted Ford having slight shoulder freckles... I just think they're cute, okay?

#tsp #tspud #the stanley parable #stanley parable #stanley parable ultra deluxe #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp narrator #tsp 432 #tsp timekeeper #art #coralkrill #coralkrill rambles #coralkrill art

[owo-shenanigans]

Hello can I please request kokichi, nagito, Gundham (separately ) with the ultimate hairdresser.

 I'm obsesd with their hair (ever since I started studying to be a hairdresser I loved their hair even more I just want to style it and treat it all the time )

-

Good luck with school! I haven’t played DR2 in a WHILE so while I still have Gundhams character down decently I’m wonky with his vocabulary.

Kokichi, Nagito, and Gundham dating the Ultimate Hairdresser

Kokichi Ouma

He took a while to notice you beyond that of his other classmates; perhaps Tsumugi levels of interest. Decent enough to make fun of, but there were better targets.

However, when he could feel your gaze on the back of his neck, and carefully pick out the sound of your pencil scratching against the paper, he realized how intense your interest in him appeared to be.

So he took the initiative and rolled up to your desk after class, swiping the notebook from your hands before you could slide it into your bag.

"Hey, whatcha been drawing?" He snickers as he flips through the pages. The majority is notes of varying quality, which he dismisses as immensely boring. Once he gets to the doodles, his rapid pace slows to a stop. It's of him and his classmates; however, it's only recognizable through the hair, the heads having the barest of details laid into them.

"You all have such interesting styles," you confess as you attempt to snatch the notebook back. "It's really nothing-"

"Oh?" He says, pulling the notebook from your reach. "What's this? A new style for our dear Miu?" In the notebook was a sketch of the girl, original hair drawn next to other cuts.

"Yes! No! I mean- just stop bothering me!"

"Only if you give me a haircut! I wanna feel special too!" He rejects the notion out of hand, but whatever keeps the fun rolling.

"Really?" Your tone shows that you believe him whole heartedly. “I’ll find you after school, you’ll look great!”

And with that, his fate was sealed.

Nagito Komaeda

You didn’t take an interest in him for how nice his hair was; you took interest for how awful his hair was.

You had asked to give him a trim to practice your ultimate and he agreed immediately, always happy to be able to help his ultimate classmates.

The prewash was where you grabbed him by the shoulders, making direct eyecontact with him.

“Nagito, what the fuck have you done with your hair?” Your tone was incredulous and distressed. The appointment quickly shifted from a trim to you piling product and shampoos and conditioners and post shower lotions into his arms, all the while explaining in great detail exactly how to use and combine them all for maximum effect.

He smiles, nodding along with your words, and shows up to class next with hair dripping with lotion. Your classmates check outside for a sudden downpour that affected only him.

After that, you took over care of his hair personally. You figure it’ll work as a thesis statement.

Gundham Tanaka

He came to you, actually.

It was late at night, and you were on your way to bed when a knock on your door interrupted you.

Opening it showed you Gundham standing there, hair wrapped in a towel and shirt plastered to his body with water.

“I greet you upon this cursed evening.” He said, but whatever effect his form of speech had on you usually was nonexistent, considering the circumstances.

“Yeah….? What’s up, Gundham?” You looked him over and he deflated immensely. His explanation as he stepped in was half of his usual nonsense and half genuine worry- his hair bleaching had gone terribly wrong, and he had no idea how, and you were the first solution to come to mind, so if you could do anything to help he would be extremely grateful…

You could already tell where he had messed up and your hands were itching to fix it, so you agreed to help as you led him to your bathroom, pushing his head over your sink as you began damage control.

After that, you two became close friends and you became his trusted hair worker. In turn, you got to spend hours with his animals and him whenever you wanted, so you considered it worth it.

#danganronpa imagines #danganronpa x reader #dr x reader #kokichi ouma x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #gundham tanaka x reader #gundham x reader #kokichi x reader #nagito x reader

[f4irys4n]

love drunk

jeong yunho x neutral!reader

tags gender neutral language. reader and yunho are best friends. reader going on a date with random oc. jealous yunho. oblivious reader. secret crushing. alcohol abuse. getting drunk. smoking weed. vomiting. drunk and high yunho. drunk confessions. reader taking care of yunho. fluff towards the end.

wc 1.9k

yunho couldn't stand it. hearing you bang on about your upcoming date, despite his oh so obvious attempts at flirting with you. but what hurt more was that it was with no one other than song fucking jiyun; some stupid kid that worked in a local cafe and that just so happened to have picked on yunho throughout his entire childhood.

you knew he hated jiyun, but you always insisted that the normie boy was sorry and had changed since the mishap last year. yunho never believed you though, always insisting that jiyun was precisely the same as he was before and that he was just trying to fool you, and everyone else.

jiyun had never given you a reason to dislike him recently, he'd been sweet and polite, even slightly flirty so it wasn't surprising when he asked you to meet him after his 6pm finish to go on a small coffee date. you could say anything but yet, you'd spend years pining over yunho for him to never even notice your feelings so what was the harm in putting yourself out there?

"why did you have to say yes to him?" yunho scoffs, looking through his sketchbook, quickly turning over the sketches of you.

"do we have to go over this again?" you ask him "i said yes because i think i like him," you continue "okay? end of discussions, and all other discussions about this topic."

"fine," he huffs, throwing his book to the side of him "i just don't get what you see in him," yunho mumbled "i just thought it'd be fun for us to go to that party together and get high, you know? but i guess not."

yunho grabbed his book and stormed out of your room, leaving you confused and baffled about his attitude towards you ever since he found out of whatever thing you and yunho had.

"hey jiyun," you smiled lightly, still unable to get yunho out of your mind. everything about him had been bugging you lately, he'd been so off, and it wasn't just because i was going out with the person he painted to be his so-called 'arch nemesis.' there was more going on but typical yunho, he refused to tell you anything.

"you look so pretty," jiyun smiled at you "you want your usual? i'll make it before i clock out for the day." you nod at his question, giving him a quiet 'please.'

"are you okay?" he asks, looking at you in worry. "you seem slightly preoccupied up here," jiyun adds, lightly tapping your head with his finger as you did. god, it must be prominent in your thoughts for it to be written all over your enough for jiyun to notice.

"it's yunho," you mumble "he's being off with me, and i'm not used to it... we've been best friends for years and he's never once been like this with me," you explain, opening up to jiyun about the longer haired boy despite their obvious past with each other.

"does he know about our date?"

"yeah..." you sigh, walking up to the counter as jiyun started prepping your drink.

"then there's your answer," jiyun smiled at you with a saddened expression. "he really doesn't like me and seeing you, his best friend, go out with me has probably struck a few nerves. it's understandable, i just wished he could learn to forgive me and then it wouldn't be awkward for you."

"yeah, that's probably it." "i just hate it, you know?"

whilst you were sulking about yunho and his current behaviour towards you; the boy was sat, chatting with mingi, a freshly lit blunt in his left hand.

"i just... they know i hate him," yunho whines. whenever he got a little too drunk or stoned he always acted like a baby; he got whiny, emotional and extremely stubborn with his thinking. it was something you, and all the nightshades had to quickly learn to get accustomed to because he truly was a sensitive soul already, never mind when he was intoxicated. "and it's so obvious i like them, they're so oblivious sometimes, why can't they notice? you all do."

mingi chuckled at the boys' complaints, thinking about how ironic what yunho was saying actually is. he was whining about how you never noticed yunho's feelings when yunho himself had never noticed yours despite how sickeningly noticeable it was to everyone else. you were both dumb in his eyes, both as oblivious as each other.

"dude.. you should just tell them," mingi says, taking a hit of his blunt. "you're both so dumb.. can you see how she likes you back?"

"obviously not if they're going a date with jiyun," yunho mutters, bottom lip sticking out.

"or maybe they're trying to put themselves out there in an attempt to get over you because they think you don't like them," mingi chuckled slightly because he knew that's exactly what it was; you'd told him yourself. "how do i get through your head that they're crushing on you so hard."

"keep thinking that, mingi," yunho waffled on, "but you're mistaken, i know you are. why would they like me anyway?" "what is there to like?"

"yunho, you really need to get your head out of your ass."

some time had passed and yunho still hadn't moved from the same place, sat sulking the entire time; the only thing that had changed was the beer bottle in one hand and the bud that was in the other.

his lack of attention towards the party was honestly worrying mingi so he decided to send you a text.

mingi: 'hey y/n! i know you're on a date, but yunho's really acting weird and i really don't think he'll phase out of it until you talk to him'

your phone lights up as you sit across the table from jiyun, and you shift your gaze to it, noticing it was a text from mingi. what could he possibly want? you thought he would be lights-out drunk with yunho at this party...

"sorry jiyun, let me just reply to this, it's mingi," you smile, quickly picking your phone to quickly see what the snake haired boy had to say.

mingi: 'he's really stuck on this jiyun thing.. but it's for a different reason than what you're thinking. he's been sat sulking all night, on the verge of tears over how you never notice him but you notice jiyun. please, whenever you can, come talk to him because there's so much he wants to say to you, he just never does.'

your eyes widen as you read the text. you really didn't know yunho was as stuck on this jiyun thing as much as you thought, but it must have hit him bad for him to be on the verge of tears.

"jiyun.. i.. i'm really sorry," you start off, pouting slightly, "but i've got to go," you continue, quickly collecting your stuff.. "it's yu-" "yunho," jiyun cuts you off with a smile. "yeah..." you sigh, feeling bad for ditching him.

"i'm not annoyed y/n, i understand," jiyun smiles "you're good for each other. go talk to him, he needs you."

"thank you, jiyun, thank you so much," you smile. "i enjoyed today.. i just-" "y/n, you need to go," jiyun chuckled, watching you leave the cafe quickly.

you quickly weaved and bended around the crowds of people before seeing mingi and enid.

"y/n!" mingi yells as he sees your figure in the corner of his eye. "i'm really sorry to text you on your date.. but yunho," ajax trailed off.

"it's no worries at all, mingi. where is he?" you ask softly.

"he went off to his room around 10 minutes ago, he looked like he was about to cry," mingi said, giving you a sad smile before you quickly made your way to yunho's room.

you knocked on his door quickly, knowing that he'd probably tripped over a good few things and hurt himself in his drunken state. but there was no reply.

"yunho?" you call out, knocking on the door again.

"y/n?" he asks, voice slurred out, "wait.. it can't be y/n, they're on a date with jiyun, they wouldn't be here for me."

"yunho, it's me," you chuckle, letting yourself in.

"what are you doing here?" he asks. yunho was lying on his bed, a bottle of beer in his hand and an exhausted expression on his face. the redness surrounding his eyes showed he'd either been crying or rubbing his eyes to stop himself from crying.

"mingi told me you were acting off," you admitted "he knows nobody can get you to talk like me," you continue, sitting on the space beside him.

"i just.. never mind," yunho sighs "it's nothing."

"please speak to me," you hum, budging closer to him. "mingi said you needed to tell me something, something that you can never find the time to say," you edge him on, hoping that'd help him figure out what to say.

"it's just.. promise this won't change anything?"

"it won't yunho."

"i like you," he blurts out "heck, i think i love you. and seeing you go on a date with another guy, especially jiyun, fucking hurts. i'm so obvious about the way i feel and you never seem to fucking notice me," yunho pouts, his voice almost sounding desperate, as if he was longing for you for some time. "i just wanted you to notice me.." he sighs, eyes welling up with tears, "i just wanted you to turn around to me one day and say you liked me back to, but you never did.."

everything he was saying took you back. you were utterly shocked. yunho liked you back? was he really obvious about his feelings and you had just never noticed it at all? but you'd always thought you were obvious about how you felt towards him... maybe you were both as oblivious as each other.

"yunho, i.." "and this is where you tell me that you don't like me back, that things could never work between us, that we're just friends," yunho interrupts, mind obviously frazzled from the drink, "that i'm just a stupid boy... with a stupid crush..." he rolls off, the sadness oozing in his voice.

"yunho, that's not-" "you don't even have to say it, y/n, i already know what you're going to say."

"yunho!" you yell, catching him off guard.

"what?" he asks, confused.

"i like you too," you smile, looking at him directly in the eyes.

"you.. you do?" yunho asks, eyes widening.

"yeah..."

"but.. but jiyun.." he mumbles.

"i went on the date with him because i thought you'd never like me back so i thought i'd put myself out there to see if i'd work out with anyone else," you say to him "me and tyler don't have anything, he told me to come here, to come and see you."

"so.. you like me?" he asks, giggling a little. the person he's had a crush on for years actually likes him back? for real?

"yes yunho, i like you," you say "now can please get you cleaned and covered up... you've got beer down your shirt and you're high as hell," you chuckle, giving him a small smile. "how does a coffee sound?"

yunho nods. "sounds perfect."

#ateez #jeong yunho #ateez yunho #ateez imagine #ateez scenario #ateez fluff #ateez angst #yunho imagine #yunho scenario #yunho fluff #yunho angst #yunho smut #jeong yunho ateez #kpop #kpop imagine #kpop scenario #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop smut #imagine #scenario #fluff #angst

[peupeugunn]

okay but imagine if shadowhunters had had filler episodes. just them doing dumb nonsense that didn't have any effect on the plot. bonding.

clary learns about the nephilim education system and she doesn't know whether to be horrified or amazed cause on the one hand they're giving knives to four year olds, on the other hand, izzy is a fully certified forensic pathologist at 19.

simon spends an entire episode dragging raphael around new york tryna find him a replacement jacket because even though the kidnapping situation was very fucked up he feels really bad!!! the episode ends with them picking out a really amazing jacket and then raphael having to pay for it because with all the supernatural crap happening, simon honestly forgot that he's a broke college student.

jace and alec episode with them on their day off just chilling (izzy and clary following them because clary Does Not Understand Parabatai and izzy thinks this will help. somehow.) they go to the library and spend some time curled up together reading. they get coffee and go to the park. jace screams at some ducks while alec provides moral support. they go for a movie. they walk around the city holding hands. they go back to the institute to spar a little and then head off to bed. clary through the episode keeps asking "are they dating? are they not? seems like they are?" but izzy keeps denying the dating allegations. clary then finds someone in the institute that can actually explain parabatai with actual words and she barges into izzy's room in the middle of the night screaming "YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME THEY'RE SOULMATES ISABELLE!"

there's an episode that is literally just. magnus' cats. nothing else. magnus provides narration like this is a nature documentary.

malec's second date, where they just sit on the couch and watch tv and trashtalk the characters. the entire episode is edited to look exactly like a youtuber-reviewing-a-tv-show thing. the first time time an action scene comes up, alec gets so mad at how unrealistic it is and magnus gives him a detailed explanation of how and why movie fighting is so different from real life fighting and why they're choreographed that way. the episode is an hour and a half because magnus and alec keep getting sidetracked and start talking about random stuff. it ends with them falling asleep together on the couch.

a magnus & catarina & ragnor episode with them just hanging out. cat and ragnor keep making fun of magnus for being so in love but he keeps agreeing with them with a lovestruck expression and that takes the fun out of it. the episode is a clipshow style thing except it's not clips of stuff we've already seen, it's their adventures (including, obviously, peru.)

a jimon episode where simon sits jace down and explains in detail the entire plot of star wars. all the star wars. jace asks so many questions and they get so sidetracked at times but simon powers through. at the end, jace reveals that he actually has watched star wars and he knew everything simon was saying but let him go on and on for hours because he wanted to see whether simon would figure it out and also cause jace likes spending time with him.

a clizzy episode where izzy jokingly asks clary to paint her and clary gets so excited!!!! so izzy goes along with it. clary keeps talking like she's doing a tutorial on painting except izzy can't see what she's doing. through the episode, izzy keeps doing more and more ridiculous poses and clary paints and sketches them and somehow they turn out actually good?

i have more ideas but like. idk about you guys but i'd have watched the hell out of this stuff.

#longpost #an episode with a princess diaries (the movie) format with magnus and alec telling madzie a bedtime story #an episode where magnus teaches jace how to make potions because if jace is living with him he may as well do something useful and fun #a closed door whodunnit murder mystery style episode where none of them know each other but they're all dressed like s5e7 she-ra #magnus starts off the episode with his shirt entirely buttoned but every time alec looks at home another button is mysteriously undone #poor baby alec is so red #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #the shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #jace wayland #jace lightwood #izzy lightwood #raphael santiago #clary fray #simon lewis #catarina loss #ragnor fell #malec #jimon #clizzy #saphael #my babies

[something-pithy]

Heyo, glittercats and kittens! So chapters 6 and 7 of an echo, a stain are up! And starting this week, I'm going to start including story notes along with the link.

I'm a note writer lol. Part of how I even begin to keep track of all the wildness of writing something longer than a grocery list is to write about it before I start writing it, if that makes sense lol. Character sketches, ideas about why certain things are happening, backstory, setting details, etc.

I'm pretty verbal about my writing process because -- well,  I like writing about writing a lot, and also, I think it improves both the work and how I get there. Anything might end up here -- character sketches, ideas about why certain things are happening, backstory, setting details, etc. I don't really wanna be leaving like eighteen thousand words of notes on every chapter, so here we are!

Sometimes I think they might add some interesting context for readers, sometimes it's information that I think is important but it's too much for the notes section on the story itself, and sometimes it's just so I have a document of my progress for this story. So here are my notes for chapter 7! ---

Chapter 7's title is from "Come to Me" by Bjork, which is definitely one of my Astarion / Tav falling in love themes for when I'm up in these flashbacks, back before Astarion Ascended (and he still had a soul loool).

The notes from previous chapters had promised a Shadowheart & Tav conversation in this chapter. This is not the Shadowheart & Tav chapter I promised, but it is the one that continued to demand to be written until I capitulated. 

And also, honestly, the one that's going to benefit that other chapter that was supposed to be 7 and the story as a whole in the long run, so I hope you like it! 

I was getting really stuck with my original plan, and so I just started writing -- well, this. And the chapter after this. And possibly the one after that. Loooool there is a LOT going on at this point in these kids' lives.

The original plan is still 100% happening, but I think I needed to 

1. explore the foundations of who these people have become (by these people of course I mean Tav and Astarion, but also friendship is magic, so our beautiful OG friendgroup babies) 

2. what the relationships between them look like and 

3. some clues, at least, as to how they got there. 

(tl;dr we're purposefully time-jumping, and I'm having fun with it, so I hope you will, too!)

But never fear, Shadowheart and Tav will of course be chatting when we return to the story's present. And it won't be in just one chapter.

OR

hey y'all, we're gonna be doing some purposeful (and hopefully at least coherently executed) flashing back and jumping forward (or up! or laterally! OR WHATEVER) in/on/around this story's timeline!

Final note, but an important one, on Tav's identity: 

I tried to keep Tav ambiguous for the first few chapters because I know that sometimes a really detailed and specific-looking or backstoried Tav can make people disengage from the story because they don't relate to the identifying details provided. (also, it's me, I'm people, or at least one of the people lol)

But at the end of the day, as soon as I started even thinking about writing a BG3 fic, I started really digging into and developing this Tav, who does reflect the dialogue, action, and relationship choices I've made in my current playthrough of the game with her, yes. But in having spent / continuing to spend some time thinking and writing about who this Tav is.  I'm not going to lay them all out here, but I think when you want to play in a sandbox as fucking ginormous and intricately, infinitesimally detailed as Faerun / The Forgotten Realms / DnD,  a little story/character-relevant contextual frontloading can help readers have as much fun with it as the writer does. 

Also, and I'm just going to say it, Tav is a queer, first-generation Baldurian child of two immigrants. She's the Faerun / Baldur's Gate equivalent of a BIPOC, with parents who were born in places very different both from Baldur's Gate and each other's home cities / kingdoms. Also, she's mixed-heritage elf (sun, moon, sea -- yeah, I'm that guy, come at me bro loooool). All this context is key to who Tav is as a person, as a creator, as an adventurer, and just in general.

I want anyone to be able to read Tav and be able to understand who she is, if not be able to relate to some small part of her -- but in my mind, people like Tav are essential to the story of a place like Baldur's Gate, and I really enjoy exploring what that looks like.

I'm having fun with it, so I hope you will, too!

#ascended astarion #astarion fic #astarion x tav #bg3 fic #bard!tav #slow burn #redemption arc: now nontoxic! ... i think? #manipulative astarion #yandere astarion #tav's insight proficiency tho #banter #the companion gang is there too #how do i even tag this

[chalametluvrz]

love drunk

eddie munson x neutral!reader

tags gender neutral language. reader and eddie are best friends. boarding school!au. reader going on a date with random oc. jealous eddie. oblivious reader. secret crushing. alcohol abuse. getting drunk. smoking weed. vomiting. drunk and high eddie. drunk confessions. reader taking care of eddie. fluff towards the end.

wc 1.9k

eddie couldn't stand it. hearing you bang on about your upcoming date, despite his oh so obvious attempts at flirting with you. but what hurt more was that it was with no one other than joe fucking sanchez; some stupid kid that worked in a local cafe and that just so happened to have picked on eddie throughout his entire childhood.

you knew he hated joe, but you always insisted that the arrogant boy was sorry and had changed since the mishap last year. eddie never believed you though, always insisting that joe was precisely the same as he was before and that he was just trying to fool you, and everyone else.

joe had never given you a reason to dislike him recently, he'd been sweet and polite, even slightly flirty so it wasn't surprising when he asked you to meet him after his 6pm finish to go on a small coffee date. you could say anything but yet, you'd spend years pining over eddie for him to never even notice your feelings so what was the harm in putting yourself out there?

"why did you have to say yes to him?" eddie scoffs, looking through his sketchbook, quickly turning over the sketches of you.

"do we have to go over this again?" you ask him "i said yes because i think i like him," you continue "okay? end of discussions, and all other discussions about this topic."

"fine," he huffs, throwing his book to the side of him "i just don't get what you see in him," eddie mumbled "i just thought it'd be fun for us to go to that party together and get high, you know? but i guess not."

eddie grabbed his book and stormed out of your room, leaving you confused and baffled about his attitude towards you ever since he found out of whatever thing you and eddie had.

"hey joe," you smiled lightly, still unable to get eddie out of your mind. everything about him had been bugging you lately, he'd been so off, and it wasn't just because i was going out with the person he painted to be his so-called 'arch nemesis.' there was more going on but typical eddie, he refused to tell you anything.

"you look so pretty," joe smiled at you "you want your usual? i'll make it before i clock out for the day." you nod at his question, giving him a quiet 'please.'

"are you okay?" he asks, looking at you in worry. "you seem slightly preoccupied up here," joe adds, lightly tapping your head with his finger as you did. god, it must be prominent in your thoughts for it to be written all over your enough for jiyun to notice.

"it's eddie," you mumble "he's being off with me, and i'm not used to it... we've been best friends for years and he's never once been like this with me," you explain, opening up to joe about the longer haired boy despite their obvious past with each other.

"does he know about our date?"

"yeah..." you sigh, walking up to the counter as joe started prepping your drink.

"then there's your answer," joe smiled at you with a saddened expression. "he really doesn't like me and seeing you, his best friend, go out with me has probably struck a few nerves. it's understandable, i just wished he could learn to forgive me and then it wouldn't be awkward for you."

"yeah, that's probably it." "i just hate it, you know?"

whilst you were sulking about joe and his current behaviour towards you; the boy was sat, chatting with steve, a freshly lit blunt in his left hand.

"i just... they know i hate him," eddie whines. whenever he got a little too drunk or stoned he always acted like a baby; he got whiny, emotional and extremely stubborn with his thinking. it was something you, and all the nightshades had to quickly learn to get accustomed to because he truly was a sensitive soul already, never mind when he was intoxicated. "and it's so obvious i like them, they're so oblivious sometimes, why can't they notice? you all do."

steve chuckled at the boys' complaints, thinking about how ironic what eddie was saying actually is. he was whining about how you never noticed eddie's feelings when eddie himself had never noticed yours despite how sickeningly noticeable it was to everyone else. you were both dumb in his eyes, both as oblivious as each other.

"dude.. you should just tell them," steve says, taking a hit of his blunt. "you're both so dumb.. can you see how she likes you back?"

"obviously not if they're going a date with joe," eddie mutters, bottom lip sticking out.

"or maybe they're trying to put themselves out there in an attempt to get over you because they think you don't like them," steve chuckled slightly because he knew that's exactly what it was; you'd told him yourself. "how do i get through your head that they're crushing on you so hard."

"keep thinking that, mingi," e wafddiefled on, "but you're mistaken, i know you are. why would they like me anyway?" "what is there to like?"

"eddie, you really need to get your head out of your ass."

some time had passed and eddie still hadn't moved from the same place, sat sulking the entire time; the only thing that had changed was the beer bottle in one hand and the bud that was in the other.

his lack of attention towards the party was honestly worrying steve so he decided to send you a text.

steve: 'hey y/n! i know you're on a date, but eddie's really acting weird and i really don't think he'll phase out of it until you talk to him'

your phone lights up as you sit across the table from joe, and you shift your gaze to it, noticing it was a text from steve. what could he possibly want? you thought he would be lights-out drunk with yunho at this party...

"sorry joe, let me just reply to this, it's steve," you smile, quickly picking your phone to quickly see what the snake haired boy had to say.

steve: 'he's really stuck on this joe thing.. but it's for a different reason than what you're thinking. he's been sat sulking all night, on the verge of tears over how you never notice him but you notice joe. please, whenever you can, come talk to him because there's so much he wants to say to you, he just never does.'

your eyes widen as you read the text. you really didn't know eddie was as stuck on this joe thing as much as you thought, but it must have hit him bad for him to be on the verge of tears.

"joe.. i.. i'm really sorry," you start off, pouting slightly, "but i've got to go," you continue, quickly collecting your stuff.. "it's ed-" "eddie," joe cuts you off with a smile. "yeah..." you sigh, feeling bad for ditching him.

"i'm not annoyed y/n, i understand," joe smiles "you're good for each other. go talk to him, he needs you."

"thank you, joe, thank you so much," you smile. "i enjoyed today.. i just-" "y/n, you need to go," joe chuckled, watching you leave the cafe quickly.

you quickly weaved and bended around the crowds of people before seeing steve and robin.

"y/n!" steve yells as he sees your figure in the corner of his eye. "i'm really sorry to text you on your date.. but eddie," steve trailed off.

"it's no worries at all, eddie. where is he?" you ask softly.

"he went off to his room around 10 minutes ago, he looked like he was about to cry," steve said, giving you a sad smile before you quickly made your way to eddie's room.

you knocked on his door quickly, knowing that he'd probably tripped over a good few things and hurt himself in his drunken state. but there was no reply.

"eddie?" you call out, knocking on the door again.

"y/n?" he asks, voice slurred out, "wait.. it can't be y/n, they're on a date with joe, they wouldn't be here for me."

"eddie, it's me," you chuckle, letting yourself in.

"what are you doing here?" he asks. eddie was lying on his bed, a bottle of beer in his hand and an exhausted expression on his face. the redness surrounding his eyes showed he'd either been crying or rubbing his eyes to stop himself from crying.

"steve told me you were acting off," you admitted "he knows nobody can get you to talk like me," you continue, sitting on the space beside him.

"i just.. never mind," eddie sighs "it's nothing."

"please speak to me," you hum, budging closer to him. "steve said you needed to tell me something, something that you can never find the time to say," you edge him on, hoping that'd help him figure out what to say.

"it's just.. promise this won't change anything?"

"it won't eddie."

"i like you," he blurts out "heck, i think i love you. and seeing you go on a date with another guy, especially joe, fucking hurts. i'm so obvious about the way i feel and you never seem to fucking notice me," eddie pouts, his voice almost sounding desperate, as if he was longing for you for some time. "i just wanted you to notice me.." he sighs, eyes welling up with tears, "i just wanted you to turn around to me one day and say you liked me back to, but you never did.."

everything he was saying took you back. you were utterly shocked. eddie liked you back? was he really obvious about his feelings and you had just never noticed it at all? but you'd always thought you were obvious about how you felt towards him... maybe you were both as oblivious as each other.

"eddie, i.." "and this is where you tell me that you don't like me back, that things could never work between us, that we're just friends," eddie interrupts, mind obviously frazzled from the drink, "that i'm just a stupid boy... with a stupid crush..." he rolls off, the sadness oozing in his voice.

"eddie, that's not-" "you don't even have to say it, y/n, i already know what you're going to say."

"eddie!" you yell, catching him off guard.

"what?" he asks, confused.

"i like you too," you smile, looking at him directly in the eyes.

"you.. you do?" eddie asks, eyes widening.

"yeah..."

"but.. but joe.." he mumbles.

"i went on the date with him because i thought you'd never like me back so i thought i'd put myself out there to see if i'd work out with anyone else," you say to him "me and joe don't have anything, he told me to come here, to come and see you."

"so.. you like me?" he asks, giggling a little. the person he's had a crush on for years actually likes him back? for real?

"yes eddie, i like you," you say "now can please get you cleaned and covered up... you've got beer down your shirt and you're high as hell," you chuckle, giving him a small smile. "how does a coffee sound?"

eddie nods. "sounds perfect."

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson scenario #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie stranger things #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things scenario #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff

[skrunksthatwunk]

went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share

+ more thoughts and old yyh art below

(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)

something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah

but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)

i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun

however i did transcribe the notes i left:

7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show

8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy

7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3

1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it

[+ this drawing]:

anyway. forever fornever. if you even care

#that's all. just kind of a personal post i thought was neat. skrunklore #skrunkart #yyh #yu yu hakusho #you can really feel the 14 y/o in a lot of the little notes and stuff but that too is part of the growth and change im trying to celebrate. #ripping my fingernails off about it but it needs to be done #also the hearts are because they love each other. and also me in like a cheering you on kinda way #ok more lore but around jr year i started feeling like my art was getting worse or at least stagnating and i kind of wished i could go back #to the era where a lot of that art is from bc there were little things i was better at and also bc i was much more prolific and adventurous #and while i'm sympathetic to it looking back after another couple of years it's like nah. no i was still growing i was just too close to se #like i'll be like oughh i haven't grown at all in years >:(( and then i'll look at the art i made over the course of 2023 and go oh nvm lol #some of it was more 'getting back into the swing of things' + traditional and tech issues being resolved but there was also growth #there is also stuff to be proud of and there always is and there always will be. that goes for you too reader #no matter what your art does or does not look like. i guess that's part of why im posting this too #part of what got me into visual art was seeing how people's art changed (sketchbook tours). it's cool and seeing that learning process so #well preserved and so easily analyzed kinda activated something in my brain. i think it got me past a lot of the 'im just not talented' #stuff a lotta ppl have that keeps them from drawing or sharing it or whatever. anyway art's cool i love art. gonna go draw now probably :D #ALSO really funny watching the way i drew myself change. all in ways that make sense but still funny to me. long hair glasses girl you'd #probably keel over if you saw what we look like now. hell yeah

[cloudysarts]

please please tell us about rick and morty x-33 i fell in love with them instantly

GLADLY!!!!! aughhgh im SO glad people want to know about them i wanted to talk about them so bad!!! i have 300 million ideas. Ill give you the highlights <3 and a couple old sketches!!! under the cut so i dont clutter the tag TOO much :p

I saw someone mention their dimensional code in the tags and that was not an accident!!!! i DID pick x33 JUST bc it looks like a cute little emoticon <333 it went through a bunch of variants before i landed on that one and it was the right choice i think

Rick x33 didnt LIVEE on the citadel but he did work there!! up until it was destroyed ofc :P he runs what is basically a knockoff hot topic called “Bloody Morty” (like bloody mary <3). 

The tagline for the bloody morty  is “Memento Morty” which is. also a pun skldfhksd. The phrase it comes from, Memento Mori, is “remember death” or “death remembers” in latin, which colloquially translates to “Don’t take anything for granted.” the pun is obviously just a play on words, but its also sort of a reminder to ricks on the citadel. It would mean “remember morty” or “morty remembers” or,,,, “Don’t take Morty for granted” :]

He is a terrible business man and WILL price everything based on how much he likes you personally. You’re a Morty who wandered in to buy something behind your Rick’s back? It’s on the house, don’t even worry about it. You’re a Rick who dragged his Morty in here by the arm after yelling at him outside? Fuck you. This single pin is now thirty dollars.

Flesh Curtains Era Rick x33 ALSO had very wild fashion. As did the whole band honestly. Back then, though, Rick used to dye his hair like once a week. It was always a new color. He would paint Squanchy’s fur/BP’s feathers with the dye, too, so they all had a fun new look for every show!! When he went blue, though, he switched brands, and didn’t notice until AFTER dying his hair/dying Squanchy and Bp’s fur/feathers, that this dye was made to last…forever. It BECOMES your natural hair color. You could shave your head and it would grow back blue. He could dye on top of it, but ever since then he’d pretty much exclusively stayed blue, and BP/Squanchy now have permanent dye patterns in their feathers and fur long after growing out of their Phases

Speaking of BP, Rick x33 has the same little badge on a necklace that BP has on his collar. I like to think he gave him that necklace at Blood Ridge <3

Rick also has a yellow locket! This is to match Morty’s teal felt heart on his chest. They’re wearing each others colors!

Morty’s earrings look like Fleeb!! :3 

Morty does a lot of graphic design work for the store, since he knows what Morty’s like and this store is mostly for them :P lots of “”cringey”” unlicensed merch for things like FNAF and Warrior Cats are in here :3

Morty also spends a lot of time watching/making AMV’s or edits and such <3 Even drawing!!

Morty is very social and gets along super well with other Morty’s :] He likes to hang around the citadel and make kandi and rainbow loom with all the friends he makes. You’ll run into a lot of Morty’s with ‘memento morty’ spelled out in beads on their bracelets. Its like his version of a ‘best friends’ necklace for every morty hes ever befriended!

Morty x33 is very well liked by other Morty’s on the Citadel. Most Morty’s like Rick x33 too!! Not true for other Rick’s though. If they don’t OUTRIGHT HATE rick x33, they probably at least think he’s annoying as fuck

Rick and Diane x33 met at a rave <3

WAHGHJHKSDFHJKL OKAY ive gotta cut myself off i could literally ramble hcs about them all day :PPPP THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK im so happy that people like them and are interested in them bc i love them so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really appreciate it o((>ω< ))o here’s some little bonus doodles of them that i happened to have on hand!!!!!!!

pr*ship/c*mship dni please!!

#Rick and Morty #Rick and Morty ocs #Rick Sanchez X-33 #Rick Sanchez X33 #Morty Smith X-33 #Morty Smith X33 #Rick X-33 #Rick X33 #Morty X-33 #Morty X33 #Scene Rick #Scene Morty #Scene Rick Sanchez #Scene Morty Smith #rnm #ram #THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THE ASK WAHHHHJKSDLFHJKSDHJKL they make me so happy i love drawin gthem and thninking about them

[babes4pdd]

id love to see a ben smut where the reader is hosting snl

"Kiss Me Again"- Ben Marshall X Reader

Warning: This fanfic is smut only read if you are 18+

A/N: Hi guys thank you for the requests! we actually got two rqs for this prompt which is crazy! and sorry for not writing a ton, life is crazy!

================================================

When you had been invited to host Saturday Night Live, you had not expected a crush to come out of it.

 But, after a week of writing and rehearsals spent partly with Ben Marshall, you had come to realize that the feeling you got when you looked at him was something a bit stronger than temporary coworkers. Something about the way he laughed at your jokes and brushed his hand against yours gently as you walked down the hallway together made your cheeks flush. 

You had been a little nervous early on in the week, but Ben’s kind nature put you at ease.

The sketch they had pitched to you involved you being completely obsessed with Ben and having a fan account about him, and working with him while losing your mind. It was a fun sketch to film, and you found yourself becoming friends with all three members of Please Don’t Destroy, Ben especially. He had gone out of his way early on to befriend you, hanging out with you during your lunch breaks and being very welcoming. As the week came to a close you dreaded the fact you weren’t going to be spending time with him anymore, and felt your feelings for him become a little more desperate than before. 

Your eyes scanned the room as you stepped into the bar that was hosting the snl wrap party, you catch Ben’s eye and blush as he walks towards you.

“I’m so happy you made it” he says, grinning at you, as you smile up at him “Do you want a drink? I’ll get you a drink.”. He says, grabbing your hand and gently pulling you back to the bar, his fingers lacing with yours. 

=================================================

You haven’t been this drunk in a while you think to yourself as you lean against Ben’s shoulder. The two of you had been attached to each other at the hip all night, spending every second together. His hand is gentle on your lower back as you lean into his ear to talk to him.

“I’m so sad I’m not gonna see you again after this.”

“Why?” he asks, laughing.

“Because I like spending time with you, and also I like you” you say, turning your head away from him as you lean further into his shoulder, “Like I Like-like you, I have a crush on you” the last part of your sentence comes out in a half-embarrassed groan. 

“What?” he replies, snapping his head towards you, he leans down closer to you “what did you say”

You look up at him through your eyelashes, lips curving into a smile at his shocked expression, “I like you Ben, a lot.”. You say.

His cheeks flush a dark pink that’s visible to you even in the dim light. “Oh.” he says, “i really like you too”. The two of you get out of there pretty quickly after that, his hand still on your lower back as he leans down to kiss you, his lips soft against yours. 

=============================================

After a painfully long uber ride in which Ben’s hand strays farther up your thigh with every minute, the two of you arrive at his apartment. His hands are all over you the second you enter his apartment, immediately leading you to his bedroom. You move to straddle his lap after he sits on the edge of his mattress, kissing him passionately. You lick into his mouth over and over, tasting the reminisce of beer on his tongue. The passion of the licking turns into biting as you rock your hips against his crotch.

 “Fuck,” Ben curses as he breaks apart from your swollen mouth. He reaches a hand down towards your jean zipper before stopping abruptly, “Is this ok?” he breathes into your ear. 

“Yes, fuck, please.” you moan, rolling your hips against his. He kisses you again, his hands resting on your hips and pulling you closer to him.

“Lay down” he says into your ear as he kisses your neck. You get off his lap and lay down on the bed next to him, you watch as he pulls off his shirt and jeans, settling on top of you after he’s down to his boxers. His hands go to your jeans, “Can I take these off?” he asks. You nod, lifting your hips as he unbuttons them and pulls them down your thighs. You slip off your top and wrap your arms around his neck, twining your fingers in his hair as he leans down to kiss you again. 

“You’re so pretty” he mumbles against your lips, moaning loudly as you wrap your hand around his dick, stroking him a few times. His fingers hook over the waistband of your panties and you lift your hips so he can pull them off of you.

“Please Ben” you moan, as his fingers sweep over your cunt.

“Can I eat you out?” he asks.

“I need your dick Ben,” you reply into his neck “need you to fuck me.”. He kisses you deeply, before breaking the kiss to reach above you, getting a condom and rolling it onto his dick. He returns to his earlier position, kissing your neck as he lines himself up with your entrance. He pushes in slowly, rubbing circles in your hips as he kisses you, bottoming out. He stays there for a second before moving.

“Faster, fuck, please Ben” you moan, your hands on his shoulders as he fucks you. He speeds up his thrusts as he leans down to kiss you. You kiss him back passionately as you wrap your legs around his back. 

“Fuck” he moans, one of his hands moving to rub uneven circles on your clit.  “I’m close,”

“So am I” you moan, scratching your nails down his back. He’s kissing you when you both cum, your legs locking around him as you ride through your orgasms.

 He kisses you again as he pulls out, getting off of you to dispose of his condom before coming back to wrap his arms around you. “That was so good” you say, cupping his face as you lean in to kiss him.

#please dont destroy #please dont destroy fanfic #x reader #fanfic #ben marshall #ben marshall x reader #please dont destroy x reader #ben marshall smut #smut fanfic

[ramshackledtrickster]

Listen listen listen

Hear me out

Assassins Creed college l AU

-Connor lives off campus with his mother and “landlord” Achilles (when in actuality his mother hasn’t paid rent to Achilles in ten years and Connors yet to realize that)

-Alexios and Jacob are what they call “bang bros” (fuck buddies but more manly according to them) who switch majors every other week

-Haythem is a professor and is by far the most hated, he’s been the target of the most amount of pranks from the school since year one of his teaching. He’s also had the most complaints about him to HR about his shitty politics and playing favorites in his students (yes his favorites happen to Hickey and Lee when they have the worst grades in the whole class)

-Shao is a transfer student who crotchets and paints in her free time. She’s primarily known as the lady who out drank party animal Bayek

-Bayek has a baby mama and visits his kids on all weekends and holidays. He’s known as one of the best students on campus. Who turns into an absolute party animal when drunk/high but deletes all evidence of it afterwards

- Everyone knows Edward’s password to his phone, cause he spends so much of his time drunk he either straight up tells people the password. Or they need it in order to call his buddies to pick him up

!!! I do have a college au I have a list of info of with my friend but I love these ideas and some of what we have is kind of similar !! I hope you don’t mind if some of these aren’t canon

-I still love your ‘landlord’ idea don’t worry it lives in my head rent free and it’s sitting in my ask box for when I could make a drawing with it

-Jacob and Alexios share dorms with Arno and Henry (I think I gotta check again). I can absolutely see Jacob changing his major a lot!! This kinda ties in w how I feel like he’s very indecisive and he’s intelligent in a lot of fields but he feels it’s hard to find a learning style that actually suits him so academics sucks like that (plus he has a poor history of constantly being compared to evie in school and having a bad rep in class with the teachers growing up). But he gets to explore and figure out what works best for him because everyone learns differently.

-Haytham isn’t a prof and the rest of his entourage is middle aged like him, however, William Johnson is one of the professors and I had a couple old doodles of him being at the receiving end of some pranks pulled by Connor’s friends :)) Haytham got Connor into this current college but he’s trying to get him to transfer to a “better” one (more private, one of those super elitist types, somewhere Maria Thorpe transferred out of because it sucked so much for her mental and social health). Connor’s friends hate Haytham and he 100% doesn’t live with Ziio (the request I’ve done with ziio and Haytham sending Connor off is unfortunately not canon in the au :(()

-I LOVE SHAOJUN CROCHETING AND PAINTINH,,, she’s maybe very secretive about her stuff but she loves making quick doodles of people around her in a tiny sketch book and has some really nice brush pens. I don’t know much about Bayek but my interest is piqued. It’s fair to note Shaojun is one of Ezio’s students when he eventually becomes a prof in my au! Along with Yusuf.

-LMAOO FUN I really really don’t know anything about Bayek but that fun side i honestly don’t see much in fan art so I’m curious ?? I always imagined him being the main gang’s philosophy professor and they love him.

-POOR ED LMAOSBKEV I love that I love Ed. Its super fun to hear other takes on Ed in modern au especially in relation to the other kenways bc I always pictured him in the au as an actual grand dad— graying hair, sick Hawaiian shirts collection, probably stole a yacht, tries and fails to regain a connection with Haytham and absolutely loves Connor and sees him as 100% part of the family

Please don’t take any of this the wrong way I love your ideas !! I thought it’d be fun to share and compare and contrast what I have in my head vs your ideas bc modern aus can be taken in so many different directions even in a college setting <:))

Thank you again though I love your thoughts !!

#assassins creed #modern au

[jupiter-pls]

(look, im sorry idk if read more is still a thing/on the app but i can't see it im hoping tumblr does that auto read more thing if not IM SORRY! i just need things written out for my brain sometimes)

ya girl had a cheeky weekend in amsterdam to have just one good night...and afternoon 🖤🧡🖤 it's been the. best. and i spent it with some wonderful people who im missing so, so much 💖 (there's a group photo of my pals when i had gone on to m&g round 2 with them holding up my art that makes me SOB! 😭 goodest of eggs!) and ill remember it all for a long, long time. got to give dan the new piece after telling/showing him the piece from back at the start of tour needed a companion piece & the reasoning behind it. he was so SO sweet and said how he loves my style, especially with the circles always being used (😭😭😭) and then pointed out the photo backdrop with the eclipse on 🥺 yes 🥺 love a weird wonky dan heart too 🥰 i was a bit annoyed with myself cause i felt/heard myself fully tripping over my words and ugh but! it was really really lovely...

m&g no.2 however! 💖💖💖💖 (look, i panic brought a resale ticket cause i was so nervous about the matinée getting canceled in the wake of the promoters bullshit on this tour and knew i would be beyond heartbroken if it had happened) god, that felt so so special and im going to remember it forever 😭 i got so many laughs out of him and SO MANY HUGS idk what was going on there i guess being able to actually get my words out was the cause? (just lots of thankful words for the tour, meaning i could meet my wonderful friends, the show being something so special & important and that he BELONGS on a stage that is is home!) id been talking myself in & out of taking minnie ears for a photo for WEEKS, would i be ~brave enough to ask for a photo in them? no i couldn't it's too scary! but i found the perf wad aesthetic ones for him and dlp is my favourite place in the world, this was actually important to me! (see me fully not being alright when he got that fleece thing from anaheim disneyland...if u got to meet him in that ur on my list 😭) after a moment from him of "um...what are those?!" and telling him look, it's important! we got a bunch of photos with him declaring "ok these are cute, oh my god we're so cute!" yes! ears are silly & over the top but they are fun! and cute! and make u feel like a kid! told him he probs has no use for them but he can keep them if he'd like (the orange ones...not my prince charming carousel ones!) and he was all 🥺 that's such a sweet gift thank you 🥺 (also this is all backwards, we did the ears photos before everything else). i mentioned while i was so excited for the show again, it was bittersweet as it was my last one and i love that he responded with his whole damn chest that i better make sure i make it to the next tour then...that boy is never going to stop doing shows and i love that for him SO SO MUCH LIVE UR FUCKING DREAM! 😭😭😭

i had a whole lot of feelings during that last show, "embrace the void/one good night" really getting to me after getting that most recent sketch done & all the feelings that went into that and my decision to do it...it's all so much.

ALSO! getting to meet & spend time with some really, really special people ive gotten to know in this fandom and them being what made the weekend so incredibly special 💜 saying goodbye to those folks was hard but they all give the nicest hugs. i really hope i can see them all again in the not too distant future, thank you for making this trip all it was 🥰

tl;dr dan is the best boy in the world and deserves ALL the good things in the universe & i have some incredible people im lucky enough to call my friends 🪐

#give me a fucken jupiter emoji! #sorry for the heckin wall of text sometimes u just need to get a bunch of things out #wadsterdam #wad #wad spoilers #were all doomed #daniel howell #my heart has burst it was just too full

[aspisera]

10 things I've learned as an artist

(Resources below text)

Take a step back - I know we all get a lost in the sauce but if you look at the bigger picture, you can pick up on things that look strange or that you don't like.

You can criticize your art but don't hate it - I've said this before but hating your art is hating your progress. The only way to grow is by learning the things you liked/disliked about your older pieces.

Listening to music helps you more than you think - Every art teacher I've ever had always played music in their classroom. Classical, alt, rock, pop, etc. ever since I've noticed my art had more emotion tied to it and (imo) was sharper.

You're only able to draw anime? That's not a bad thing - Drawing anime can be very helpful when it comes to drawing human profiles and it can also help with proportions. No one can tell you how to make art. That's the whole point of it. It's subjective.

You can totally have multiple art styles - Of course you would hear this come from me. Having multiple art styles can help you find the one you like and it's fun to do. I usually take all the sketches I've done and take bits and pieces i like outta them.

Never be afraid to use a reference - Reference models/artist put their pictures on the internet for people like us! The their whole thing is to help young/inexperienced artist to get a grasp of anatomy, creases, and gestures. Never be scared to use one.

If you're working on the computer, give your eyes a break - This doesn't just go for artist, this goes for everyone. I know I'm gonna sound like a parent here but looking at a screen for hours really can make you tired. It can fuck up your melatonin production because of blue light from the screen.

Don't just give your eyes a break, give your hands a break, too. - For the love of fuck please don't spend 4 hours on a huge piece and not give yourself at least one (1) 30 minute break. Carpal tunnel and Arthritis are artist killers. Rest yourself.

Avoid burnout - (This goes for everyone too) Feeling burnt out can take you out for years if you let it get bad enough. I know your art is important to you but remember to keep an eye on your mental/physical health. Being well rested, having good nutrition, and going on a walk every so often can make you feel amazing.

Show your family and friends your art (if you're comfortable with it) - I like to show my mom and siblings my art sometimes. Even though my mom doesn't get it most of the time, she's always happy to give me pointers and compliments. My brother really likes my art and was super excited when I got confident enough to show him. He thinks the way I draw Kris (Deltarune) is incredibly gender and loves it when I send him my pieces.

Here are some apps and websites I use to help with my art:

Pureref - This is an app I use to keep an eye on references while drawing. You can set it to remain open even when in a different software. It's free but they accept donations.

Krita - This is the art program I use. It's reminiscent to Photoshop (something I'm familiar with) but it's completely free and you can get it through their website (Or Steam... if you wanna pay $15 for it).

Krita-Artist.org - Krita has a forum for their users to help other users and give news/updates. There's hundreds of resources, free brush packs, and tutorials on there to help you out.

CapCut - Video editor that's mostly used for Tiktoks but it's easy to use, free, and has it's own copyright detection system. I use this for animatics.

AdorkaStock - Reference photo website that allows you to choose poses from angles, objects, number for models, and positions. All the models are clothed, it won't jumpscare you. They all also have different body shapes so if you're worried about having to draw a chunky character with a slim model, you're all good on that front.

#asp talks #asp to the void #art tips

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

weekly tag wednesday buds!!

thanks for tagging me @softmick

name: gigi 🐇

zodiac sign: virgo

fuzzy socks or fuzzy blankets? neither! i perfer thick soft (?) over fuzzy

do you enjoy winter? i would love winter if the sun set at a remotely reasonable time instead of the middle of the fucking afternoon, and if we actually got any snow, otherwise im pretty indifferent

what’s your comfort book or movie? Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez and Julie and Julia

what’s your favorite way to wind down after a long day? depends on what kind of wind down, if im amped up and need to get rid of some energy i go for a run, if im just drained i watch a comfort movie and make a really delicious soothing dinner

tell me something you like about yourself: my constant creative drive, which is probably my most defining characteristic. i paint and cook and sketch and woodwork when i have access to a woodshop, my work is designing space, and now i create fanworks! it is incessant and relentless and i hope it never goes away :)

favorite artist? I have a lot of favorites tbh but im a big fan of diego riveras work

how do you practice self-care? i just spend time by my self lol, I am a hardcore introvert and once that social timer goes off its time to away from people and on my lovely lonesome, sometimes that means taking a whole day and wandering around the city going to museums by myself if im feeling fancy

what’s a song that makes you feel joyful?

this song will always be the most nostalgic for me. it just feels like the happiest, warmest days of my childhood bc my mom loooooved the chicks in the early 2000s and rest assured after they verbally smacked the dogshit out of bush they were still being played loud as hell in her house

a book you want to read this year: the vegetarian by han kang is my favorite book of all time so i will probably reread that bc i didnt last year

but here is the complete list of books im hoping to read this year, if anyone has read these please chime in with reviews

what advice would you give your younger self?

appreciate where you are right now instead of thinking about where you want to be and what you want to accomplish in the future, you will have time, stand still and breathe for a second

and finally, you’re given a plane ticket to anywhere in the world, no strings attached. where are you going?

im planning a trip to ireland for this spring!!! and im hoping to get out to both zion and yellowstone national parks this year. i really want to visit hong kong and patagonia someday but i think those are both strings attached trips so thats probably my answer

i also might try to go to chicago again sometime this year with a friend bc i had so much fun last time and its such a cheap and easy trip

play along!! @fierromilkovich @callivich @gallavichroom @iansw0rld @jrooc @hazeisblue

#sgt says #tag game #Spotify

[barry-j-blupjeans]

@taznovembercelebration - Dome

The Starblaster had taken a lot of beatings in the past but the last cycle, Davenport thought, might have been the final straw. There were only so many times they could repair and fix up the ship before it inevitably came apart. For the past year, the Starblaster had taken hits from all directions- the weather, enemies, Magnus flooding the bathroom yet again- and if he had a choice, he would have put the ship into retirement.

But that wasn't exactly an option considering, y'know, the ship was the only thing keeping them alive. Or the bond engine? They still weren't too sure what exactly was bringing them back every year. The most Barry and Lup could science out of it was "that's just a thing that happens now, I guess!"

Still, the Starblaster was shaky. Davenport landed as soon as he could when they entered into this new cycle, number fifty-four. They were in a grassland that spread out for miles in each direction. First things first, of course, Barry and Merle did their yearly check to see if their location was safe. And then, Davenport got to work right away.

Or tried to, at least.

"We're not adding another dome," Davenport said, scrubbing off the half circle Lucretia had drawn onto the top of the ship. The base would stay pretty much the same but Davenport was at least going to try to make the inside more space efficient. It had been fine for a two-month trip, but over fifty years? They needed so much more room than they had.

For her part, Lucretia drew back and didn't say anything. That didn't mean she wasn't giving him her Look. The "do you even care about the aesthetics of your creation" look. Yes, Lucretia, he did care. But if he was going to be running from the Hunger for another fifty years, adding a second glass dome on top of their ship would not be helpful. The one for Merle's greenhouse was damaged nearly every cycle and Davenport would just take it off if that suggestion hadn't offended Merle so much.

"I don't know," Lup said, leaning over his design. "I feel like we could use another dome."

"No," Davenport said.

"A small one," Lucretia said.

"A tiny one," Lup said. "So tiny. You won't even notice it's there."

"And what is it there for?" Davenport asked, tapping his pencil against the table.

"To look rad as hell," Lup said, at the same time Lucretia said,

"Fisher."

Davenport took a deep breath.

"One," he said. "Would it look rad as hell? No doubt." Lup opened her mouth. "But-" Lup shut her mouth. "It would just be adding another weak point for the Hunger to get in through. Do you want to spend every reset cleaning up more glass, Lup?"

"...No," Lup said.

"And for Fisher?" Davenport asked, turning towards Lucretia. "What- I mean, what would they do with it? It's a dome. They have no purpose for a dome, unless you know something I don't."

"I'm sure I know lots of things you don't," Lucretia said. Lup sniggered from behind him. "But, uhm, no, they wouldn't really use it for anything, it's just for fun. Like getting a dog house."

"They have a tank," Davenport said. "That they barely use."

"That's because it's in my room and not Magnus's," Lucretia said. "I can't help that Fisher plays favorites, Captain."

"No domes," Davenport said. "That's final. I'm asking you want we need, not what our floating pet jellyfish might enjoy."

Lucretia was silent for a moment. Lup was leaning back on the back two legs of her chair, her feet propped up on the table. Davenport's design was fine. It was practical, it was efficient, and it wouldn't change too much of what they already had. If asking Lup and Lucretia was going like this, Davenport was afraid of what might happen if he asked Taako, or, god forbid, if he asked Magnus.

"LED lights," Lucretia said finally. "On the bottom. For, uh, for aesthetics. Please."

"Ohhh," Lup said, slamming the chair back to all fours. "Fuck yes. Dav, we gotta get some LEDs."

"See, that's a good suggestion," Davenport said, sketching that down on the bottom of the ship. "That's what I wanted to hear."

"In the shape of a dome," Lup said, spreading her hands as if she were imagining it. "Picture this: We try to land. All we have to do is look down and match the circle of LED's with the gap we conveniently carved into our parking spot so the dome won't break-"

"No," Davenport said. "No, uh, you've made it worse again, actually."

#taz nc #taz november celebration #davenport #lucretia #lup #taz #taz balance #mine #ise cube writing

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I got reminded this week of the Robert Webb thing, and I wanted to rant about that for a bit. You know, the Robert Webb transphobia thing, and I was going to find an article about it and link it here, but I really don’t want to look it up all over again, so if you don’t know what I’m talking about you can Google it. Quick summary: it was a few comments, a few years ago, along the lines of concern that the trans movement is going too far and trying to turn nice normal gender non-conforming kids trans. He described himself with the term “gender-critical feminist”, as though that isn’t an oxymoron. Since then people have tried to pick him up on that and give him chances to walk back his comments, and he’s been a dick about it. Once with David Mitchell there and not saying anything, which I don’t love, it’s not enough to make David Mitchell unwatchable for me or anything, I just don’t love it.

I realized just a few weeks ago that Robert Webb has become close to unwatchable for me, though. I didn’t even know about that whole thing until somewhat recently, late last year, I think. At the time I just thought fucking hell, that’s disappointing. Then, just a few weeks ago, I tried to do something I’ve done many times across many years (around ten years, I think – Peep Show and Mitchell and Webb’s sketch stuff are among the Britcom things that I didn’t first get into in 2020, I got into them in my early twenties), which is spend an afternoon re-watching old Mitchell and Webb sketches on YouTube. At first it was good, and seeing Robert Webb just made me cringe a bit. But as it went on I was cringing more and more, and at some point I realized I really can’t enjoy this anymore. I’m not trying to “cancel” Robert Webb anymore. I just look at him and I think about transphobia instead of anything else, and then the comedy is no longer fun.

That’s happened with a few things. When Russell Howard first had Jordan Peterson on his show in 2021, I made several very long posts about how incredibly disappointed I was – not totally shocked, I guess, because he’d made some not-great comments in the past that I’d been trying to ignore, and I guess him putting his love for Jordan Peterson right out there was just his way of not letting us ignore it anymore – but I still felt betrayed and surprised and angry about it. I also said, okay, I’ve watched nearly fifteen years of his shows (between Good News + Russell Howard Hour), heard all 125 hours of his radio show, seen all his Mock the Week days and I’ve seen all his stand-up DVDs… weirdly, if I had to rank all the comedians in terms of whom I’ve heard talk for the greatest number of hours, Russell Howard would be up there. Which is a bit surprising given that I wouldn’t count him among my top favourite comedians, but there is something in his approach and career trajectory that I find really interesting, interesting enough to follow for a lot of hours, apparently. I don’t think everything he’s ever done is top-notch comedy. But most things he’s ever done interest me in some way, and make me laugh enough to justify continuing to watch them.

So I said at the time that I’m not going to cut all this off just over that, I’ve been ignoring smaller points of difference with him for a while, I can get past it and still enjoy Russell Howard. I saw him live when he came to my city a few months later, and credit where it’s due, it was a fantastic night. When the new season of his TV show started the next year, I even thought the first episode was good. But I couldn’t fully enjoy it, I kept thinking about the Jordan Peterson thing. I gave it a couple more episodes before realizing my ability to enjoy it was gone. Again, it wasn’t “canceling” anything on purpose. It was just… not fun anymore. To be very honest, Russell Howard isn’t funny enough for me to enjoy if I don’t like him. Likeability was getting him pretty far with me, take that away and I don’t enjoy it.

Likeability is also carrying some other shows, of which I’ve seen hundreds of hours even though not every single minute of them was the highest quality of comedy. Like The Last Leg, for example. I’ve seen every single episode of that up until last month. But I know the new season started a few weeks ago, and I haven’t seen it. Too much of my enjoyment of that show hinged on how much I just liked the three main hosts, enjoyed watching them interact. They knocked down a whole lot of that likeability with their really over-the-top, unnecessarily reverent post-queen death episode (yes I realize the TV shows were in a tricky position and couldn’t do any anti-monarchy stuff in those initial weeks without getting in big trouble, but they went way, way farther in the pro-monarchy stuff than they had to). My ability to enjoy it has been a bit precarious since then, and then I saw Adam Hills’ bullshit social media explanation for why he attended the coronation, and I think the magic there is gone.

I didn’t even realize that had happened with Mitchell and Webb until a few weeks ago. I realize someone could justifiably criticize me for trying to enjoy Robert Webb’s stuff at all, after knowing what he said. But I do tend to take a bit of a “no ethical consumption under capitalism” approach to stuff like that. If I chose to never watch anything with anyone bad in it, I’d be cutting out almost everything. I re-watch old Python sketches sometimes, too, and just try to pretend John Cleese (and to a lesser extent, some of the others – not all of the others, Michael Palin is an angel) never existed outside that moment. If I’m still able to enjoy stuff, I’ll still watch it. But the Robert Webb comments are too close to the bone, I found myself watching with all that in my head, and it just wasn’t fun anymore, even though I wanted it to be. Same as with Russell Howard.

I really, really can’t stand the specific type of transphobia argument that Robert Webb made. Not that any of the other transphobic arguments are acceptable in any way, but Webb happened to hit one where I have some personal experience, and I know he’s wrong, and it makes me so angry that people are trying to rewrite the history that I’ve fucking lived.

Robert Webb has written a book about growing up as a boy who felt and/or was insufficiently masculine, according to gendered expectations, and how to be okay with that. Full disclosure: I have not read the book. I was planning to read it, because a book like that sounds interesting to me. I think that’s actually how I found his transphobic comments in the first place. I was trying to look up his book, with a view to buy it because I’d seen him promoting it, and I found all this other stuff. And then I decided I do not, in fact, want to hear what that man has to say about gender.

But I do know the summary of what he said in his book about gender, having seen him talk about it on a couple of TV shows. And I know that’s the underpinning of his transphobic comments. The idea that he was a gender non-conforming kid, and he’s a cis man, and he just has concerns that now, little boys who are like he was are getting turned into trans girls, when they should be nurtured as boys who can be as feminine as they want.

I feel such special sense of betrayal from cis people who have experiences of not conforming enough to gendered expectations, and use that experience not to find solidarity with trans people, but to attack them and their resources. Because they’re using my experiences too. They’re using people like me. People like me get used a lot in transphobia. I’m a cis woman, and people say that trans women “threaten women’s spaces”. I’m a gender non-conforming woman who was once a gender non-conforming little girl, and people say trans people are “erasing gender non-conformity” by turning all the kids like that trans. I’m a… I don’t normally use the word “lesbian” because, okay, it’s a bit complicated, sometimes I am attracted to men, but I’m a cis woman who does not want to ever have sexual contact with anybody’s dick, so therefore, I am one of the people they’re talking about when they suggest that trans women are ruining lesbian or whatever. I’m the person they profess to defend when they do horrifying things to vulnerable people who have so many common experiences with me, and I hate it so fucking much.

Part of me wants to give Robert Webb the benefit of the doubt, and say he’s read some fear-mongering stuff and believed it, hasn’t looked into what’s actually happening. And if someone could explain it to him, he’d understand. But a bigger part of me knows that’s bullshit, because ignorance isn’t a good enough defence here. If you read a bunch of fear-mongering stuff about an incredibly marginalized group, it should be on you to look up the other side and find out whether this is, in fact, bullshit.

But in an imaginary world where the issue is a lack of information rather than a willful refusal to learn, I would like to say, to the Robert Webbs: It’s not happening. It’s not fucking happening.

First of all: "But trans women are forcing lesbians to interact with their penises!" They're not. I mean, some have, yes you can cherry pick some trans women sex offenders out there, creates some lists that look exactly like the lists I used to read, when I was a teenager in about 2006, thinking I might be gay and Googling what gay meant, and finding religious sites that had created long lists of stories of gay men sexually abusing innocent children, which scared the hell out of me when I was so young and so scared that I might be part of that horrible deviancy, until I learned about the concept of cherry picking stats (and then my Minister gave up his license to protest the fact that the Anglican church was even considering allowing same-sex marriages, and he cited those exact lists when explaining why he did so, which was very upsetting to me at the time but it did cause me to quit religion so I'm much better off in the long run). Anyway, the point is that yes, it has happened, but the lists of trans women sex offenders are wildly misleading, lesbians are still allowed to not interact with people's penises, and speaking as a penis-disliking woman, no trans woman has ever forced her penis on me. A couple of cis men have, though. One in particular, multiple times. But no trans women. So stop suggesting you're defending me when you hurt them.

And on the next argument, you know those stories you read about the little boy who liked dresses so the parents made him trans? Actually read about what actually happened, and you’ll find that the vast, vast majority of the time, the liking dresses thing is just what was in the headline or in the cherry-picked article put out by transphobic groups. The thing that caused the transition was the kid saying “I’m a girl” over and over. What you don’t see, because it isn’t in the news, are all the little boys who like to put on dresses and play with dolls and paint their nails, but they don’t say they’re girls, so no one treats them as trans, they just walk around being cis boys with dolls. They still exist. They still exist, and they’re living in a slightly easier world than they used to due to increased acceptance for gender non-conformity, which goes along with increased acceptance of trans people. They just don’t make headlines.

“Oh but little kids say they’re something else all the time, when I was a young boy I tried on my mother’s dresses and said I was a girl, but I grew out of it, what would have happened if I’d done that today and my parents had decided to ‘affirm my identity’ and make me trans? I also said I was a dragon when I was a kid, told people to call me a dragon, would you let a kid identify as a dragon?”

Well first of all, I doubt you said you were a girl over and over, enough to actually socially transition. But if you had, and your parents had decided to start calling you by a different name and different pronouns in accordance with your wishes and asked your school to do the same, and then you’d grown out of that, what would have happened is, you’d have gone back to identifying as a boy, your parents and everyone else would have gone back to calling you a boy, it would be fine. Also, yes, people let kids identify as dragons all the time. Do you go around to kids playing pretend and yell at them that they’re not really dragons? If a young kid wants to go to school dressed like a dragon and tell people to call them by their dragon name, do you think we should yell at them to live in the real world? No, just call people what they want to be called, whether they’re trans or not. Some of those kids will turn out be actually trans. Some will just be kids who want to get called a different name for a while. Who cares which is which? They’re just kids.

“But for the ones where it turns out to be a phase, they won’t be allowed to just change their minds about it, because people are performing irreversible surgeries on kids as young as five and…” No they’re not. You’re either willfully ignorant or willfully lying. Fuck you.

What really gets me, though, is the argument that somehow, if it weren’t for the trans lobby, all these gender non-conforming kids would be accepted as the beautiful snowflakes they are, instead of forced to be the opposite gender. “Remember when we just had tomboys? Remember when girls who weren’t girly enough were just called tomboys, and that was fine and everyone was fine with that, instead of now, when everyone is prejudiced against gender non-conforming kids, so if a girl acts like a boy they force her to be a boy? We need to go back to when it was fine to be a tomboy.”

Speaking as a tomboy in the 2000s, fuck you. That never happened. People were never cool with gender non-conforming kids. They weren’t cool with them when I was growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, and they certainly don’t get more accepting if you go back farther than that. I got bullied all the time as a child and a teenager for that. I got told I was gross, not feminine enough, did not belong in women’s spaces due to this insufficient femininity. I felt uncomfortable in women’s change rooms, partly due to the actual bullying that goes on in there (no trans people required to make that happen), and but that discomfort lingered even if no bullying took place that day. Because it had been drilled into me that that is a place for girls who fit the remit of “girl”, and I did not. I had to take off my clothes and have the girls see that I don’t shave my legs and I don’t wear makeup and I don’t do all these things, and that makes me the sort of horrible disgusting thing that the change room is supposed to be their refuge from.

Honestly, as one of those cisgender, dick-disliking women who’s supposed to be so threatened by trans women, I’d have felt more comfortable in those changerooms if they’d been gender inclusive. If we’d had some trans people in there, or even just a place that wasn’t gendered at all. If trans women people are allowed, then I know I’m allowed. If you can have the primary and secondary sex characteristics common among trans women, and still be allowed in the women’s bathroom, then you can have unshaven legs and a face with no makeup, like I do, and still be allowed in the women’s bathroom. It’s a place for anyone who identifies as (and therefore is) a woman, not just for people who are womanly enough to fit someone else’s arbitrary definition of “woman”.

As a gender non-conforming cis woman, no trans person has ever tried to tell me I’m trans. Absolutely no trans person, or trans ally – no one from any side of the queer movement – has looked at me, said I’m being a woman wrong, so I should really just be a man. They all look at me, hear me say I’m a woman, and accept that.

It’s the cis and straight people (not all of them, not all of them, obviously not all of them, definitely some of them) who look at me and say I’m being a woman wrong. They’re the ones who think I’m not enough of a woman and need to be fixed. Who say things that can range from well-meaning to passive-aggressive to downright rude that suggest the way I do gender is wrong and needs to be fixed. Trans people are not doing that. They didn’t do it when I was a kid, and they don’t do it now. It isn’t happening.

I was going to write that it never happens. No one ever looks at a cis person who doesn’t conform enough to gendered stereotypes, and says that because they don’t conform enough, they’re actually secretly the other gender. I was going to say in this post that that never happens. But actually, by coincidence, while I was writing this post, that did actually happen.

I started writing this post a few days ago, got annoyed and depressed, saved it in a Word document to go back to later. So I was literally in the middle of writing this post when, yesterday, I got into a conversation with someone who is very much not part of the “trans movement”. I don’t want to go into all the details, but this is a guy I know well, a cis straight guy who I would not call a particular ally to any queer people, definitely not trans people. And he told me I don’t count as a woman because I’m not feminine enough.

I don’t want to get into the whole context because honestly it was pretty upsetting and that’s a level of detail about my life that I don’t really want to write into a public post, but basically, the context is that we were arguing, and he called me name that I pointed out to him was a very gendered insult and I thought it was misogynistic. He told me that he couldn’t say anything misogynistic to me, because he doesn’t see me as a woman, he doesn’t consider me a woman, there is nothing woman-like about me so I don’t count as a woman. He didn’t say that because the trans lobby told him to. He said that because he’s a cis man with a misogynistic view of what defines womanhood (not all cis men, obviously not all cis men, I know some very cool cis men). That doesn’t happen nearly as often as it did when I was younger, but it definitely still happens, it literally happened yesterday.

That is still the threat to gender non-conforming people. Cis straight people telling them that they can’t be the gender they are if they don’t perform it well enough. Trans people aren’t doing that. Okay, Robert Webb? They’re fucking not. I’m sorry if you went through some difficult stuff when you were a kid and are now imagining that trans people are hurting kids like you, but it’s not what’s happening. And I can’t enjoy the Remain Indoors sketches anymore because you didn’t want to Google some stuff. God damn it.