#it wasn't abusive.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[ruegarding]

the entire point of the blue food was that it was the only way sally could consistently rebel against gabe without getting her or percy punished. sally is not and never was submissive in the books. percy himself says sally has "a rebellious streak, like me." however, sally and percy were under threat of serious abuse from gabe and therefore had to pick their battles. blue food was sally's way of telling percy "i am here and fighting with you" and "there is hope in the world still."

#whenever sally wasn't around gabe threatened percy with physical violence and percy is regularly scared of ppl physically harming him #even before training at camp half blood which is likely bc he was actually physically abused #also part of gabe's abuse was insulting percy's intelligence and i know y'all don't realize how serious that was #bc percy being stupid is a fandom joke and a punchline in rick's newer books #so yes ppl commenting that they changed* gabe's abuse is not just ppl pointing out sally's sassy comebacks as a little strange #thanks for coming to my tedtalk #percy jackson #sally jackson #percy #sally #pjo tv #rr crit #pjo show crit #min talks pjo #*ppl are acting like all abuse is the same so if u comment on gabe's abuse being changed it means ur saying he's not abusive #which isn't at all what is being said here but that's the current level of comprehension we're dealing w at this point

[ssaraexposs]

The way he wants to prove WRONG to Atsushi. The way he wants to prove that he's not like Dazai. He knows Kyouka deserved better from him and also knows he actually owes her. After everything they've been through, he saw the change in her eyes. He's seen how much she's grown, and how much she worked for become the girl he saw in that right moment.

#my baby my baby #babies actually #kyouka deserves all the praise she can get #she worked hard to get free #she wanted to change and she's actually changing for better #she broke the abuse cycle #aku is slowly growing up #he's not just a mad dog #he actually can acknowledge people's strenght #he knows he wasn't being fair to kyouka #he appreciates her personal growth #he just wants to be loved and appreciated #my poor boy #if dazai doesn't hug him i will #ok maybe i'll the be the only one #why couldn't chuuya mentor him ffs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #akutagawa ryuunosuke #kyouka izumi #bsd manga

[dirtytransmasc]

... she never made an effort... she only ever furthered herself from her siblings... she only made herself look like a threat, having it made clear viserys would always favor her, protecting her lies at the risk of others, after abandoning her mother when she needed her most, and used and lied to her, hurting her more than she already was from Viserys, for her own benefit (not to mention her manipulative father buried those thoughts deep in her mind while she was still a CHILD herself)... she had every reason to "hate" (fear) Rhaenyra and in her attempts to protect her children, extend that fear/hatred to them. even then, outside of Aemond (justifiably, considering she felt entitled to his eye and wanted to have him tortured) none of them even really hated her until the dance, at the very most, they felt resentful because their father loved her 10x more than he loved all 4 (including Daeron) of them combined, and at the very least, they felt nothing as she was never there, never mattered to their lives outside of court and politics.

this take is shit. Rhaenyra never cared. she never wanted her siblings in her life. she felt entitled to Aemond's eye, and you want to tell me she gave a shit, not even enough to spare her 10 year old brother, over an insult?

(and before you bring up her call for her siblings to come bend the knee, we know how she can kiss up and lie through her teeth in times of need, her words hold little backing. see it as truth if you want, but I can't trust it, not with how she's acted previously.)

#stop putting it on the used abused and abandoned women who had no reason to trust Rhaenyra after everything she put her through #to form a relationship between Rhaenyra and her kids #stop blaming her for the fact Rhaenyra wasn't someone she could trust #stop acting like Rhaenyra was some saint that would have wanted a relationship with her siblings because she never tried #she never gave a shit #she was a threat. active or not. she would have out those kids at risk #her or daemon #or some other factor like a betrothal #dear god #those kids had enough reason on their own to not like her #stop blaming alicent for trying to fucking survive #alicent hightower #pro team green #anti team black #anti team black fans #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #daeron targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd #house of the dragon

[thepeacefulgarden]

#people pleasing #fawning #abuse #relationships #codependency #family #unhealthy relationships #you didn't deserve it #it wasn't your fault #trauma

[t00thpasteface]

i'm so relieved that people like my retrobat stuff bc i can tell tumblr definitely prefers two very specific batmans: Tortured Diesel DILF and Edward Cullen But Cooler. meanwhile i'm out here like

#i mean i COULD wax poetic about how serious/grounded stories don't necessarily have to humorless and grimdark #i think someone who is 100% brooding all the time is just as cartoonish and wacky as someone who is always 100% silly #if anything it comes off as insecure. like omg look how serious i am guys!! i made batman unfunny and cruel and abusive!! #i think there's a lot to chew on with a guy who is miserable and traumatized but still at the end of the day a paragon and optimist #if he wasn't ultimately optimistic and big-hearted he wouldn't be doing literally any of this shit lbr he'd just shoot guys and go home #like look man if you wanna write the next great gutwrenching american novel maybe don't pick a single dad in a fursuit as your protag sorry #IF I WANTED SERIOUS NAVELGAZING I'D READ HEMINGWAY. WHICH I ENJOY AS WELL #shebbz shoutz #batman #dc

[raggedy-spaceman]

Friendly reminder that Ed threw knives at Izzy's head, probably on the regular given that Izzy seems kinda used to it, but then they cut it from the show :)

#ofmd #ofmd 2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #our flag means death 2 #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2 #our flag means death s2 #ed teach #blackbeard #izzy hands #con o'neill #taika waititi #tell me again ed wasn't abusive i'll wait #mind i'm not saying i hate this #i just think they handled it poorly #also... damn #you can see the knife barely missed his head #ffs #mine

[hawkeyedflame]

man i just really have no use at all for people who won't take responsibility for themselves. if you're miserable, do something about it. other people's help can be a blessing at times but if you don't realize that you're the only person who can save you, then you will never be saved. and you'll spend your whole life asking why it's happening to you and never getting a single ounce of closure.

i know. it's hard. hitting a point where you have no choice but to be honest with yourself about the fact that you are the problem is excruciating. it hurts. i know. i was that person. but once things got bad enough and i was staring down the barrel of being permanently disabled and unable to function independently, i snapped the fuck out of my delusion in which i was a hopeless, helpless victim with no say in my fate. i started clawing my way out. i had no other option. and neither does anyone. it is all, always up to you to save yourself. so fucking save yourself.

#the hawk speaks #and examine your FUCKING DIET. #if you feel like shit constantly all the time it is virtually guaranteed that your diet is at least 90% of the problem #barring something extreme such as abuse/trauma obviously #but even then i wasn't able to heal from my trauma until i changed my diet #because i was so neurotic i couldn't actually work through what had happened to me #but finally.. FINALLY once i got healthy i was able to actually look at my trauma and make peace with it

[wizardsix]

just saw people on twt getting mad that gale said a literal god wasn't good enough for him . i need people to understand that he didn't mean it like "I deserved more than a literal goddess" he meant that his actions were foolish and made it LOOK like he thought himself above one. that he should've been content with what he had, but felt he had to prove himself to her.

if you romance him he literally realizes that he didn't need to find validation in a god but within someone who understands humanity more than a god ever could.

please learn reading comprehension before making yourselves look stupid I'm so tired of this

#ALSO people saying that 'oh he had a literal god and wasn't satisfied' yeah lmao because she is incapable of compassion and genuine love #he literally admits that in act three. his own words #the gale slander is founded on stupid people not being able to understand how complicated this is #also yes gale DOES fall back into his power thirst in act three. because healing is not linear. #talking him down from killing himself doesn't mean he's suddenly better and over what mystra did #abuse survivors will often seek a way to gain power back. gale literally begins to resent the concept of gods and wants to destroy it #and honestly he's right. but dont tell him that #anyway gale deserves redemption #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #six speaks

[waywardsunlight]

I think Luz's trauma due to being an abuse victim gets ignored a lot in favor of other characters. Luz has an odd role in the fandom as this character who other characters rely on, or who isn't an abuse victim but is supportive of her friends who are, and I think that ends up missing a huge part of her story.

Belos compliments her a lot, which is partially because he wants to reach out to her and mostly because he thinks he can manipulate her. He does some backhanded compliments, telling her she's improved but she still has work to do to catch up to him. He also thanks her quite a few times. The way he thanks her intentionally triggers her guilt, especially when he thanks her for helping him with Hunter. He also compliments her to put other people down, like when he tells her she's "better than this" (implying their race makes them morally superior).

He also uses the same manipulation tactic on Luz that he does on Hunter, although it doesn't work as well on her. He tries to remove his own agency for his physical violence by blaming the Curse. The biggest example is in King's Tide, when he pretends he can't hear her as he's racing after her to try and kill her. He ends up cutting her face while pretending to be out of control and then in the same sequence has full control and clarity to talk to Hunter and the Collector. He gaslights Luz by trying to make it seem like it was The Curse causing him to act in the way he did.

He refers to Luz as "crazy" to invalidate her emotions and harming Hunter in front of her also is a form of abuse. He's obviously aware that hurting Hunter traumatizes Luz (and everyone else) but as his focus transfers from Hunter to Luz in Hollow Mind, he starts targeting her specifically by harming Hunter to hurt her (especially in TTT). Belos shifts the blame for events from himself to Luz and also attempts to make her feel guilty. Hunter seems to understand that Luz is also being abused and tries to reassure her that Belos is an abuser and she shouldn't take what he says at face value. Luz ends up taking that advice to heart after she's able to forgive herself and face Belos. She doesn't speak to him but is able to hear his manipulation tactics and just. stare at him bc he's full of bullshit.

Just because he 'only' hits her a few times and isn't her guardian doesn't mean he can't abuse her or that he didn't. It's not really a protagonist-antagonist relationship as much as it is "adult man nuking 14 year old repeatedly until she becomes god and kills him". The idea that child abuse can only come from parents and not role models or other adults in your life is odd, because he distinctly holds a position of power over her (literally an Emperor and an adult who intentionally isolates her and the other kids alone to abuse them) and uses it to emotionally and physically harm her.

Papa Titan has to reassure her that she's okay to kill Belos because he's literally a serial killer who's lying about his intentions. Luz still slightly falls for Belos's sympathetic line until that moment because he very intentionally tried to get her to feel bad for him and also feel guilt about herself.

This is also why I really detest any fandom takes where Belos canonically is supposed to care about her, or Luz owes him anything. Manipulation is not sympathetic. Belos committed premeditated murder and then used the remains of his murder victim to try to make a "Better Version" of his murder victim which was actually just a way to punish him repeatedly and keep taking out revenge on kids who had nothing to do with the original conflict. Belos is Luz's abuser also, and Luz doesn't owe him any sort of kindness or consideration and her anger is valid.

Luz is an abuse victim of Belos's in addition to Hunter and the Collector (and Vee/Lilith by extension), and she should be considered as such rather than her trauma being invalidated in favor of other characters.

#the owl house #toh #long post #tw abuse #tw child abuse #luz noceda #explanation under cut #looooong post #it's kinda hard to tell if Darius and Raine would be also by extension #bc ultimately we have no idea wtf happened with Darius and Belos #but Terra for Raine for sure. #That place of employment was. not rated top 100 places to work in the Boiling Isles #much less for Darius who was connected to Belos when he was younger and then grew up and worked for him as an adult... #and there's 10000000% no way Belos wasn't awful to him bc Belos would've considered him similar to Evelyn #and like. it's hard to say who Belos hates most in the universe but it seems like Evelyn's in the top 3

[ganonfan1995]

Burnt out

#initially this was meant to be something else entirely #but i wasn't really liking how it was going so I scrapped the idea and opted out for something a bit more personal #ive been really suffering from burn out for the last few years and just barely keeping my head above water #there are times where i seriously feel like ive failed in every aspect of my career #like if i were good enough i wouldn't have burnt out #i love my job and i love my trade i love every skill ive gain up until this point #but its been hard not to take it personally when all the effort you've put into honing those skills #are abused or exploited #life is difficult enough already and and time is fleeting #taking time for yourself is above all the most important thing you can do to help your work flourish #taking a break isn't failure #its health #we aren't machines despite our industries treating us as such #just waiting and hoping that itll pay off #ive certainly learned my lesson #and im looking forward to brighter horizons #and healthier more respectful ones #ill be okay ive learned how to love my art in my personal time again #but i certainly need to let my mind rest and my body to recover #these tags are lengthy anyways #unionize and dont work for nothing from large companies #be gay do drugs love your friends make art for yourself too #my art #scuttles out of here #i hope these long ass images actually show up in full resolution #i did draw them fucking TOLL as hell

[ammyeve]

After all this years, I think the reason I still love the Harry Potter series is because, ultimately, it's just about various abused boys doing the best they can with the opportunities and support they are given, and majorly fucking up in most cases.

The reason I love Harry Potter fanfiction even more, is that it gives those boys the chance to do better, or even just to do it differently.

Also, the porn is good.

#harry potter #tomarry #drarry #but let's be clear #draco wasn't abused #tom riddle #voldemort #severus snape #and other abused children

[bougiebutchbinch]

*E1-3 of Season 2*

Me: oh wow they're really giving Ed a dark villain arc! I love it! Of course, this means we will get a glorious redemption arc throughout the rest of the season where he does his best to make amends with Izzy and the crew, who he was explicitly shown to torture and traumatise <3

*After Ed's canonically-acknowledged-as-incredibly-shitty apology to the crew*

Me: Right, well that is obviously the moment where he changes and starts developing as a character! We're going to get a lot of growth this season; I can feel it. He's going to figure out that this isn't about him, it's about the people he hurt. He's going to actually improve as a person, in such a way that he starts to respect and care for his crew in a way he's never been shown to in the past! What an awesome arc! Yay!

*Season finale*

Me: ....

#ofmd #ofmd critical #blackbeard #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #the edcourse #edcourse #just #I love his character SO FUCKING MUCH #and they did him SUCH a disservice this season #did he really develop and grow at all? :/ methinks not #The Atrocities could have been stomachable if they'd given him actual GROWTH that wasn't just built clumsily on the back of Izzy's death #but as it is........ they're at a point where you CAN'T just handwave it as comedy because. it wasn't funny? #that level of abuse just cannot be funny outside of an established VERY DARK COMEDY which ofmd is not #they either fucked up their tone OR fucked up Ed's arc and it makes me so sad #not tagging with his name other than 'blackbeard' because I don't think people in the e* t*ach tag would appreciate this lol #but I'm right and deep down they all know it x

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

it actually irritates me so much when people bring up the TENMA parents when someone's discussing Mrs Asahina, Harumichi or even Shinei. if you think poor Mr and Mrs Tenma are remotely comparable to those three disgraces, i am going to assume you don't read

#i get it. some people adore Tsukasa angst #but his parents are literally fine #they might've made a mistake in leaving him alone when visiting Saki but they were STRESSED. UNDERSTANDABLY SO #they haven't traumatised him by leaving him alone #they were NOT favouring Saki. it's no one's fault that Saki needed more attention at the time #yes worrying about his little sister would have affected Tsukasa. but he wasn't rotting in loneliness or something #he was shown to entertain himself at home just fine #parents who aren't perfect aren't automatically Mrs Asahina/Mr Aoyagi level abusive. OR Mr Shinonome level neglectful #ace's random thoughts :) #scared to tag #eh i have nothing to lose #project sekai #pjsk

[beef-unknwn]

My Operetta redesign! I cooked here I think 💥

(some design notes under da cut☝️🤓)

The Dies Irae (at least the first four notes) is referenced in these four prominent blotches! (shitty visualisation) (and yes! I gave her five linear scars to reference music sheets)

And this schwoopy hair thing is supposed to look like a treble clef but i probably didn't make it obvious enough oopsies 😐

Anyways I love bitches with facial deformities that are LOUD and UGLY 💖

#monster high #operetta #d. does she have a last name?? #operetta phantom #i guess? #could also be #operetta destler #like from robert englund's 1989 film version #or maybe #operetta daae #IF she is in fact the daughter of christine and the phantom and she took her mum's last name #if that's the case that's uh... it's.... 😐 #look erik wasn't exactly the good guy in the story alright? #bro was kind of a total creepazoid. like those quote unquote nice guys that complain about females always choosing the abusive jock chad #at least from what i remember #anyways i think thats enough tags

[shitpostingkats]

It's been years and I'm still thinking about how Ace Attorney accidentally made Sebastian and Klavier the same class at Themis. And Seb was VALEDICTORIAN. Capcom accidentally made it so the international rockstar who actually seems to give quite a shit about being a good lawyer and projects himself like a flawlessly cut diamond, was NOT the top of his grade. That honor went to this pathetic kitten of an orchestra kid who can't spell "affidavit" and bursts into tears every five minutes.

#you CANNOT convince me they didn't know each other at school #You CANNOT convince me Klavier wasn't tearing his hair out wondering what this guy had that he didn't #and Kristoph (knowing full well that Blaise is paying for his grades) was just like 'Hm. SAD. I guess he's just smarter than you.' #*smash cut to Sebastian trying to walk through a mcdonalds drive-thru* #And then post AJ then meet up again and become best friends #start a 'the familial member I looked up to for validation was actually an abusive asshole who manipulated me for their own ends' club #ace attorney #aa #aai #aai2 #aa investigations #apollo justice ace attorney #ace attorney investigations #ace attorney investigations 2 #sebastian debeste #klavier gavin