#it wasnt supposed to be like this

[leavemeal0newithmym0ss]

Me who’s been begging for V and Uzi to finally get along because they both care about N:

#I DIDNT WANT IT TO BE LIKE THIS MAN #IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS #murder drones #uzi doorman #serial designation v #murder drones spoilers

[boylikeanangel]

two weeks and i still cannot wait the kiss scene in its entirety btw

#i have to look away. i have to scream over it. its not getting better #it wasnt supposed to be like this

[dissentdisdain]

being shunned has destroyed me

and maybe...

the tears that moisten my notebook pages

the tears that get lost between my piano keys

the tears that drip off my fretboard

the constant pressure in my chest

my notebook filled with lyrics of grief

my gallery filled with undeleted photos

the times i torture myself by looking at them anyway, out of fear of forgetting what they all look like

the growing number of blades i have scattered about

my gradual obsession with sharp hunting knives

my frequent walks through the woods, imagining what tree branch would hold my homemade noose "just in case"

gripping the steering wheel as i drive over water

forcing my eyes to stay on the road as i drive over a bridge

afraid to take walks on a busy sidewalk, in fear of impulsively jumping in front of a vehicle

the lack of color present in my appearance

my entire wardrobe being black

only feeling like myself if i have jet black hair, no longer wanting to see my eyes without dark eyeliner obscuring them

the same songs about loss playing in my ear

the songs getting heavier and heavier, where you can hear the vocalist's pain, and the instruments scream in sync

the lack of energy to attend simple online therapy, only attending for a sense of friendship and support

feeling lost once again as soon as the meetings end

the anxiety that surfaces, having to introduce myself

the fear of being rejected again leading to self isolation

the sleep deprivation from forcing myself to stay awake

because i know i will dream of those i've lost

and wake up feeling torn apart and left for dead all over again

the shame exploding in my mind at the sight of me feeling anything besides it

the unpredictable anger outbursts where i break items

the lack of love and intimacy towards anyone

the indescribable urge to turn to drugs and alcohol

having to punch myself and cut my face to make the thoughts stop, to shock myself back into the moment

the never-ending self sabotaging and second guessing myself

...all of this will be enough to prove it?

#ex jehovah's witness #spilled thoughts #ex jw #shunning #fuck cults #it wasnt supposed to be like this #ex christian #writers on tumblr #poets and writers #the grief is never ending #exmo #ex mormon

[pbpsbff]

sometimes i am really worried that r&r doesn't have enough action in it. is slice of life zombie apocalype au too niche. should i kill someone off

#r&r tease #4k words and counting #loud sobbing #it wasnt supposed to be like this #ough im editing this i just realized how stupid part of this sounds

[sunfyredefender77]

i'm so done with life at this point

#everything is fucking awful #god please #i hate this #GOD PLEASE SAVE ME #i wish alicent could just come and save me and i would save her but i dont think that's possible 😔😔😔 #why am i like this #why do i do this to myself #idk man #shizoposting #why does life feel like this #it wasnt supposed to be like this #anyways #im kinda hungry #i want mcdonalds #i hate society #i hate it here #i hate everything

[august--and-everything-after]

I can't believe I'm gonna have to move back into my parents' house. I'm starting to resent that house and that town.

#on top of just having to share a living space with them and upend all of my routines and habits to accomodate their shit #there's no fucking privacy in that house #where am i supposed to jack off #like legitimately. am i just meant to go untold months without until i can find my own place again? #there's always the shower but that's not ideal as a regular thing and plus then they'll bitch about how much water im using #i dont really feel comfortable there anymore - i feel like im constantly under surveillance #i hate this #i cant believe my life has gone this way #it wasnt supposed to be like this #im so so low #august talking

[dahkis]

the vibe of each of the flora's themes

adele, adele's oath: a sacred, but mythical feeling befitting the virtuous knights from the old stories that used to be told to children. the choir is singing the knights' praise, perhaps symbolizing their initial glory days, serving the god-king during his heyday before ultimately betraying him and breaking their oath to protect him. however, it continues to have a non dominating presence in the background, symbolizing the present. although the knights of the einherjar was replaced with the militaristic high flora army, the flickering flame of a noble knight has not died yet. it was alive in adele, who remained loyal to her oath to the god-king to the very end.

khali, oblivion: the drums and choir ramping up throughout the song symbolizes her bubbling feeling of deep anger boiling over. she has a strong yearning for vengeance against ypsilon for the undeserved death of her family.

illium, death of asylum: the choir is singing to the metaphorical revival of the god of the verdent flora; illium's fusion with the elder crystal symbolizes him inheriting their will and carrying on the burning passion of the verdent flora race through the pride of their invention of mechanical wings. there's a sense of determination, but a quiet anger festering among them as well.

ark, recollecting memories: i miss my wife tails, i miss her a lot

#me thoughts #ok for a real analysis of arks theme #its obvious the beginning is meant to evoke nostalgic feelings of ark and albaire attending the military academy #like come on ark had a dream in his 255 quest about albaire waking him up and doting on him the second he thought ark was unwell LMAOOO #its supposed to be happy memories before the bittersweet ones kick in when that part of the song drops (whoch suspiciously sounfs like the #theme to black heaven but i digress) #the bitter memories are that of ark realizing there isnt something right with the high flora army which sours his relationship with albaire #when he tells him that they have to remain strong but ark obviously doesnt want to look the other way since hes an upstanding guy like that #but i honestly think it can also be interpreted as ark missing albaire a lot. he misses the good times they used to have when they were so #young and naive in the academy. that they didnt know that their efforts to rise up the ranks would amount to basically committing genocide #on the innocent races in grandis #it wasnt supposed to be like this #is what im hearing ark say perhaps #LOL not rise up the ranks i mean graduate the academy initially then rise up the ranks #i love maplestory #theres a lot more i can yap about the end note but i want to sleep

[beauceronn]

I wish so badly I could take this dog

#it wasnt supposed to happen like tbis #it wasnt supposed to be like this #how long until my tears run dry.

[zelphin124]

YOU ARE OFFERED A DEAL

Give them your determination, they spare your life.

Do you accept?

Honestly this is not how I imagined their dynamic but the characters kind of took over, so enjoy the art and lil audio script. :)

Error: Well well well... If it isn't the human themself. Did you really think you could escape me?

Iro: *ahem*

Error: Us... You ruined my speech!

Iro: I was the one who captured them, idiot!

Error: You wouldn't have if I didn't tell you to do so!

Iro: Y'know whatever, just finish them already.

Error: *looks at human* As I was saying, hand over your determination, and I will spare your life. I will get it either way, which way do you want to play?

Iro: That rhymed.

Error: The urge to throw this chair at you right now~

Iro: Chocolate?

Error: *grabs it* This is the only reason I keep you around.

Iro: Sure boss, sure...

Error: Just hand over the determination already. I'm getting bored. Huh? You're not gonna hand it over? Alright... I'll let you choose who gets to kill you. Me, or my partner, Iro.

Iro: Partner? I'm not your subordinate anymore?

Error: You know what I mean! Don't be difficult!

Iro: *leans close to Error and whispers something*

Error: Fine...

Iro: Now, human. Let's play a game shall we? *Pulls out buttons and spins them, landing on OVERWRITE* I'll give you one more chance to give over your determination, or you're gonna have a bad time.

Error: Huh. Not bad for a girl.

Iro: I SWEAR IF YOU CATAGORIZE ME BY MY GENDER ONE MORE TIME-

(End)

#undertale au #undertale #sans au #error sans #error!sans #oc #oc stuff #utmv #utmv oc #utmv sans #iro!tale #iro sans #IroTale #iro!sans #i love this duo #it wasnt supposed to be like this

[hauntingblue]

Ace being jealous of the old pirate because luffy wants to spend time with him 😭

#i said before that ace hates his father but i am going to correct myself and say that he doesnt. maybe mixed emotions bc he is the biggest #pirate ever and apart from casting a biiig shadow it just gives him too much trouble to be his son. like everyone wants him desd just bcuz #ace should be proud to be his son but apart form the inherited strentgh his father didnt give him security (the opposite actually) which is #what he needed (look at shirohige) #so its just having a father thats more a curse than anything else and also youre on your own #i just cant believe he is dead like its so cruel. it fits the whole he died knowing he was loved but apart from all that..... #by all means he should be alive bc the curse is not right. its like blackbeards presence corrupts his story #it wasnt supposed to be like this #defeat means losing your life.... whatever do what you might...... #and in marineford he said nah i will survive my execution (and he did) #just now realised that little ace is wearing loeafers like in his execution 😭😭😭 #omg ace rocket #i just cant get over how cute little luffy is omg #a comment wondering when did ace become so polite... and dare i say in shirohiges boat..... after the many assassination atempts and the #many bowls of soup on the deck they let him eat in the dining hall and teach him manners lmao #no but ace is not like luffy in that regard even as children..... i am sure on his own he is fine but when he gets with sabo and luffy it #turns wild #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 499

[wyvernwinds]

y’all i’m real sorry but i got got by the other gay angel show i abstained for 4 years this wasn’t supposed to happen to me.. three days ago i was normal and now i can’t think about good omens without severe chest pain

#this cant keep happening to me #it wasnt supposed to be like this #damn this gay angel show got HANDS #cam.txt #good omens

[futureless]

been living in survival mode so long that war × chaos has become my comfort zone and peace × quiet leaves me bored and suicidal

#sadbness #depression #how do i keep going #it wasnt supposed to be like this #survival mode #triggers #fight or flight #hold me #where are you #who am i #borderline personality disorder #substance abuse #complex ptsd #bipolar mania #bpd problems #substance addiction #why do i exist #borderline splitting #borderline stuff #gimme drugs #breathe #what the fuck is going on #it is what it is #what to do #what the fuck #what if #what do i do #idk what else to tag #whatever #im alive tho

[frailily]

penalties are only fun when i’m a completely neutral third party with absolutely no interest in the matter!!!

#IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS #wc22

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like #completion consistancy i am thinking for with this #personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥 #i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional #i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic #but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one #it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played #however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music #because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do #so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan #very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay #TO ME 🤫 #if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead

[odetoscavengers]

Something that could have been

#femurs art #carolina parakeet #quagga #great auk #extinct animals #extinct species #this was for a school thing #this series was made for ME #also this isnt supposed to be realistic #so like. i know that thylacines wouldnt make very good hunting companions but that wasnt the point of the piece #thylacine

[bunnyfella]

Listen ok th. The concept of an AI- a digital person, a computer, a series of ones and zeros, a creation that cannot create itself but CAN (depending on design function and purpose) develop and have choice in growing beyond what originally was expected and therefore beyond original purpose- keeping a human being- a person, a living thing but with a physical body, for lack of a better term, a flesh and blood being without outsource or inputs to be able to fix externally the internal problems- well, *human*......... ough

#this doesnt make any sense lol #but like. i have. so many feelings about it. #that thing you made that was just on a 'screen' or just was a 'hologram' CARES FOR AND LOVES YOU. or DESPISES AND HATES YOU #wishes to see you GROW #it is ALIVE. JUST AS YOU ARE. #but so vastly different #it wasnt supposed to be like this #it was supposed to be controlled #but you cant control yourself as much as you thought so thats a fucking joke #ough