#it went all the way back to 2017 so it’ll show me what’s been stuck in my noggin for those years

[sope-and-shine]

Lost and Found

-> Namjoon x Reader -> Soulmate!AU // Fluff -> 6.2k (This fic was at 6,199 before post, and I couldn’t let that happen) -> Summary: In a world full of soulmates and soul marks, you just had to get stuck with the dynamic duo. -> Warning(s): none // maybe just fluff

A/N: I suggested the name to Belle as I was drafting the post, and she said she’d sue me if I didn’t use it.

ALSO! A BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU TO BOTH @multycoloredtaco​ and @purpletigertaetae​ for reading this and giving me some really good feedback! I love you both SO MUCH!

* * *

Soulmates have always come in several different shapes and sizes. They’ve always appeared to each other in various ways. Your mother and father met by their own personal song that only the two knew of, one that played when they spared a thought to the other. Your aunt had found your uncle with a timer on her wrist, and your grandpa had the unfortunate fate of meeting your grandmother while catcalling her. According to him, it was a very eventful day, but at least her words to him finally made sense. Everyone in your family - besides your great aunt who hasn’t aged since the late 1890s - has had the amazing luck of finding their soulmate. Not everyone gets the luxury of being with their soulmate how they planned to. You’re actually friends with a shop owner who lost his soulmate about a year ago and hasn’t seen any color since. You honestly couldn’t imagine the pain he’s been through. Thankfully, your soulmate mark was not as painful.

It was just extremely annoying.

As a child, you never questioned the items that would appear in your room, thinking of them as odd gifts that your parents or your brother would leave for you. You were no stranger to finding a single sock under your bed, the occasional candy bar tucked away in your backpack, or the odd action figure that you would take to your brother thinking it was his. It wasn’t until the first homework assignment with ‘Kim Namjoon’ scrawled at the top that you began to think something wasn’t right. And that was only the beginning of what was to come. 

As the years went by, more and more random items began appearing in your room at your parents house, your dorm in college, and finally your very own apartment. Each item you placed in boxes under your bed as a way to keep a piece of him with you until you could find him. However, you never imagined how forgetful and chaotic your soulmate could really be. You have everything! Clothing items, more homework assignments, various books, glasses, baby photos, and you even have a random girl’s phone number! You were tempted to call her when you first found it, but you figured that would be too weird. Instead, you continued to organize everything under your bed in hopes of giving it all back to him when you would finally meet.

Of course, you were a victim to your soulmate mark as well. Many jewelry items had disappeared from your room without a trace as a result. Hoodies, stuffed animals, and even a bra that you could’ve sworn you put in your gym bag - part of you hoped he’d hide it away because not only was it a cute bra, it was also expensive. Recently though, you’ve both been a lot more responsible. You haven’t seen any new items appear in your apartment for almost a month, and with your soulmates track record of losing 11 items in one day, a month was a huge record on his part. But you were starting to miss the gifts that would give you clues to him.

After you found out what your soulmate mark really was, you started looking forward to what would be left in your room next. Of course, it wasn’t always a win on your part, and sometimes what he lost was very questionable, but it always made you laugh when another item appeared in your room. At first, it was weird to think about someone else’s stuff appearing in your room with no prior warning, but it made you feel special to know that he was ultimately giving you pieces of himself every time he let something out of his sight. They made your long days more bearable. It makes you wonder if he’s the type of person to shower you with gifts when you feel upset or just to show his affection when he felt it was necessary. Especially on a rough day like today.

There was nothing wrong with your job, you loved everything about it! Life as a lead optician was actually a very rewarding job in the end. Helping others choose the best glasses for their face and individual personalities was one of your favorite parts, you loved watching little old ladies try on vibrant, colorful frames to feel youthful. They’re always very excited to see clearly again. Then there are all the little kids who would sit down with you to get glasses for the first time, and the look on their faces when they finally got to see the world clearly was heartwarming. Their soft smiles and wide eyes filled with amazement always made you feel a little softer inside. However, not everyday was a good day, and today was really not a good day.

Everything was going perfectly fine until the 3:30 appointment showed up at 5:00 after the doctor had already left for the day and demanded to be seen. The doctor’s technician was so scared trying to explain to the patient that they’d have to reschedule their appointment, and the poor thing was just trying not to cry over the one person who couldn’t understand how society works. Obviously, as the lead optician on duty you took over, but this patient was one of the most inconsiderate people you’d ever had to deal with. Demanding to be seen, demanding to buy glasses with an old prescription, demanding to speak to a manager - which at this point was actually you, so done and done - and just cursing up a storm at you and your fellow coworkers who all tried to help explain. The whole ordeal just took way longer than it ever should have to deal with, and it probably took at least 25 years off of your life. 

“Why do people feel that they need to be rude to get what they want?” Soohyun had asked you, “Do they think it’ll just magically fix everything?” 

You had agreed, “It’s like they think you’re really just messing with them. Like, “Oh no, sir! You’re correct! I apologize for the inconvenience, let me pull that out of my ass for you!” Though maybe not appropriate for the work environment, you’d at least made her day just a little better with your humor. 

On days like today, a nice warm shower and a cuddle pile with all of the pillows and plushies that cover your bed made everything much better when nothing new appeared in your room. If the odd gifts the universe left from your soulmate couldn’t cheer you up, then you’d do it yourself. And that you did. Nothing felt better than the warm water washing away the day’s pain and suffering, the delicate fragrance of the coconut shampoo you splurged on easing your worries down the drain. The floral body lotion and leave-in-conditioner you’d bought on the same shopping excursion also help your body relax, their scents so intoxicating to you, that you almost topple over onto the tiled floor of your bathroom from the instant pleasure they pull from you. Instead, you make your way to your bed, adorned in your comfiest PJs and fluffiest socks.

However, you weren’t expecting to land on something so hard and uncomfortable when you plopped face first onto your sheets.

“What the heck?” Pushing yourself onto your knees and pulling back the covers, you find a small, golden trophy resting comfortably in the warmth of your sheets. On all sides it reads, ‘MNET Asian Music Awards’ with a small plaque reading, ‘2017 MNET Asian Music Awards: Artist of the Year’ at the bottom of one side. It takes you a moment to understand fully what you hold in your hands before it actually hits you.

Your soulmate is an idol.

A forgetful idol if he lost such an important award, but at least this gave you a lead as to who your soulmate is besides one of the most common surnames and a few measly pairs of mismatched socks.  

Setting the award to the side, you grab your phone from your nightstand and unlock it, clicking on your browser and typing away. You look up the artist of the year from 2017 and find the top result to be a boy band called BTS. According to Google’s nice little summary and AllKPOP’s top article, they seemed to be pretty famous. Of course, you’ve heard of them before, and if you heard one of their songs then there was a good chance you’d probably recognize it! But you’ve never really been one for boy bands. You were more into kdramas if you were to be completely honest, they’re definitely your guilty pleasure and way more your speed than handsome young men dancing on stage in front of screaming girls trying to get in their pants. Could you really blame them? No. Not at all. Given the chance, you’d take it, but it wouldn’t be anything special if it wasn’t your soulmate.

Your soulmate.

Namjoon.

Changing your question, you search for ‘Kim Namjoon BTS’. If he actually pops up, then that would mean you actually know who he is. 

Finding the nerve to press search, you are bombarded with three pictures above a description of him right off the bat - You hate to admit it, but soulmate or not, he’s definitely handsome. You click on a random site you hope will give you some useful information about the man who’s most likely your soulmate and are immediately redirected to something called K-Profiles. The site itself starts off with a group picture of all the members, followed by their names below it, and their social media handles under that. You’d have to look them up later.

The first member you come across is your soulmate himself. He has his blonde head resting on top of his arms with a soft, dimpled smile as he stares right back at the camera. Eyes locked onto his through the screen, you can feel your heart speeding up just from looking at him. You can’t help but smile back at him as if he can actually see you. As if he were right there ready to come out and say ‘hi’. 

He’s absolutely breathtaking, and it isn’t even him.

You continue your hunting, scrolling further down to learn as much as you can about him. How old he is, when he was born, where he was born, what his favorite color is, you want to know it all! You learn that he’s the leader of the group, that he used to be known as Rap Monster before he changed it - that USB in the box under your bed made a lot more sense now. You learn that he has a sister, and that he and his band members are advocates for UNICEF, and that this man was so incredibly intelligent yet also known as the ‘god of destruction’ to those around him. But also listed on his profile is his soulmate mark. 

“As said in a V-Live where RM explained a stuffed animal he kept on his desk, anything RM loses will appear with his soulmate and vice-versa. He has yet to meet his soulmate.” You read. You’ve lost quite a few stuffed animals to Namjoon, hopefully, it wasn’t an embarrassing one that would haunt you later.

You come to the end of his profile and to the top of another handsome man, yet you don’t scroll down. You haven’t learned enough. You need to know more about him, about how you can meet him. You have to know more! And that’s how you find yourself still up at 5am the next morning still wide awake watching yet another video interview of your soulmate just to hear his voice. A part of you is embarrassed for staying awake all night for some guy, but another part of you can’t let it go when you’re so deep already. 

* * *

You called into work after your late night-early morning escapade, telling them you caught something from one of your friends and wouldn’t be in for the next few days. There was no way you were going anywhere with the sleep you just got, and it wouldn’t be fixed in one day either. Even after sleeping the morning away you were still tired from your late night-early morning endeavor. It’s not like you really cared though, you had just found out who your soulmate was. And unlike a lot of other people in the world, you had an entire collection of videos dedicated to just your soulmate and his passion.

It didn’t take long for you to dig your nose back into the screen of your phone just to watch him make that gorgeous, dimpled smile. There were so many videos where he talked about you, sharing some of the items you had lost with his fans like they were his best friends. He looked so proud to be showing off your things, and the look in his eyes when he’d get lost in his own thoughts just looking at them made your heart melt.

You’d heard your mom and dad talk about how happy they were to have a special song just for the two of them. Your mom used to tell you all about the day your father tracked her all the way from the grocery store, pushing through the crowd like a love interest in a kdrama because he heard her humming their song to herself. At a young age you always thought it was sweet and wanted to meet your soulmate just like your mom had, but you eventually realized as you got older that a strange person following you home is not something you want. However, now you kinda wished it could work like that, seeing that your soulmate was practically untouchable. 

Of all the people in the world, you just had to get stuck with a celebrity with millions of girls from all over the world fawning over him. Getting chased in the streets must be on this guy’s workout regimen by now! How were you supposed to get anywhere near him without spending over $1,000 just to look at his face?

“How much are those fan-meet things?” You ask yourself aloud. Innocent enough, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the entire process that came with going to just one fansign. This wasn’t something you could just buy a ticket for. No. You had specific steps that you had to follow or you wouldn’t even stand a chance. There were so many steps that you were tempted to just find his company and blast music until security came to take you away. Maybe you’d at least get to meet him when they filed a restraining order.

No. You HAD to meet him. You haven’t saved all of his lost things just for you to chicken out now.

So, you made a fancafe account and waited for their next promotion to purchase an album, you waited for the lottery winners to be announced, and you almost doubled over when you saw your name on the list from the store. You thought 3 months was long enough, but the 24 hours before the event were the longest hours of your life. So long that you couldn’t even sleep!

That’s where the wrench comes in.

You hadn’t meant to stay up so late at all, but you were really excited to finally meet the man that’s been losing everything he touches - especially now that he’s started losing air pods under your bed. So, when you woke up at 10:30am for the fansign that started at 11, you knew you’d messed up. 

You messed up bad. 

Of all the irresponsible things you could’ve done, staying up late was not the one you should’ve chosen to do. Now, you’d have to wait even longer to see him. Maybe the universe was right to give you both the worst soulmate mark known to man.

It wasn’t like waiting for the next fansign was bad, but it wasn’t the best either. Everyday that passed was another day that you had to watch him through a screen. Seeing his dimpled cheeks smile at the camera - at you - making your heart race. He was so close to you, but he was so out of reach. When the next fansign did come around, you had to make sure you made it on time so you could see it in person for yourself.

That’s what you told yourself.

To your credit, you almost did do that! But you had no idea there would be so much traffic. Not only that, but you’d tripped and dropped the box of things to return to him on the street and had to pick it up before anyone saw what it was you were holding. Because of those small issues, you made it to the venue five minutes after they had closed the doors. 

“Please, I’m only five minutes late!” You beg, breathing heavy and labored. You stare at the worker just doing her job with high hopes that she would have some sort of empathy for you, but her face showed no remorse.

“If you wanted to be let in, then you should have been on time.” She scolds, closing the doors on you and leaving you outside to wallow in self pity once more. 

At least the first time you’d messed up you were in the comfort of your own home where you could cry over your failure. Now, you were left in the open for everyone to see your mistake. You were so close too. He was just behind the doors. Waiting to see the adoring faces of his fans that you should be a part of. 

Yet you’re on the streets.

* * *

“Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?” 

“What makes you say that?” You turn to your friend from your seat on the ground outside of the shop you’d purchased your album from, dressed in a light hoodie with a coffee in your hand. The light of day just peaking through the cracks between the buildings as the street lamps turn off for a new day. 

At this point in your journey to meet your soulmate, you weren’t going to take any more chances. The store didn’t open for another 3 hours, and the event started an hour and a half after that, but you were going to be sure you had your ticket and made it to the venue on time. You didn’t care how early you were, you were going to see Namjoon if it was the last thing you did.

The poor, tired woman seemed to pick up on your indifference to your change in behavior and sighs, “Nothing in particular. I’m just concerned that maybe you’re taking this to the extreme now.”

“I’ve tried and failed three times already, Bomi. I cannot miss another chance to meet them!” You explain, taking a sip from your warm cup.

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you that they’re just a boy band and you shouldn’t get so excited over them. They all have soulmates anyways.” Of course she didn’t know that you were going because one of them was your soulmate, but you couldn’t risk anyone finding out and telling your soulmate before you could tell him. 

“I know that, but it’s worth it!” All the hours you’d spent waiting, watching their new content, reading their tweets and various posts from other social media wishing you could see him in person for just a moment. This was the fourth attempt, and you didn’t want to continue this cycle of hit and miss. “I’m not missing it this time.”

“Well, waiting outside of this shop so early just to get a ticket that’s already yours is absurd!” 

“You didn’t have to come with me.” You grumble. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that. You were very much aware of the fact that it was insane. It was something you thought about every time you failed to make it into the venue! Having her reiterate what you already knew did not make it any easier.

However, your acquaintance wasn’t having your response, “I did. You blackmailed me into coming with you so you’d actually do it right, remember?”

The vague memory of sending her an embarrassing picture you had as a way to convince her to come flashes through your mind. So maybe your methods were unconventional, but they worked. “That’s not important!” 

You both continue to wait by the store’s entrance, making light conversation as more people begin to show up for their own tickets. Of course, you knew they’d be here, that’s why you left extra early to be there first. It was a good thing you did too, because as the time ticked on and the line grew longer, it became obvious a lot of fans had purchased their albums from the same store you had. Even as the store owner arrived to start their day, not at all surprised by the line that had formed for them, there were still fans lining up for their tickets.

But in the end, you were first to arrive and receive your ticket, and that made you one of the first to the venue.

“Alright, we made it. This is where I leave you.” Bomi hikes her bag further onto her shoulder and turns to face you one last time before she leaves, “Don’t make a fool of yourself in there. And do not show them your airpod collection!”

‘Oh, I’m returning the airpod collection…’ You think to yourself, sending a quick wave goodbye to her.

Waiting for the doors to the venue to open didn’t take as long as you’d thought it would - security check taking even less time. You found your seat pretty easily as well, being placed on the left side of the empty table in the middle of the sea of chairs. Taking the time you have while everyone finds their seats, you take a peek inside of the box you’d brought to grab your album and just look at everything you’d brought to begin their return to Namjoon. You made sure to bring every pair of air pods you had found - and hadn’t sold on eBbay - a few old homework assignments, USB’s, pictures he’d taken through his pre-debut, and the trophy he’d misplaced that lead to your discovery.

Hopefully his band members wouldn’t be too upset with him.

You’d learned a lot about each of them over the two years you’ve spent trying to meet with Namjoon. So many times you’d been tempted to put yourself on the fan page or DM them on Twitter, but you were too afraid of being drowned out by other ARMYs or one of the other boys blocking you before Namjoon could see. No doubt they each probably had hardships of their own trying dodge fans claiming to be their soulmate. Watching as they each come to the stage individually, you could see why anyone would lie to call them theirs. You couldn’t deny how handsome they all were - you’d be lying to yourself if you said you thought they weren’t handsome - but no one could compare to your Namjoon.

If you get the opportunity to meet his stylist, then you’re going to give her the biggest hug for making him look this amazing! It was just a plain white, button down shirt tucked into a black pair of dress pants, but the top two buttons of his shirt undone and the grey, satin suit jacket with the addition of black, square glasses and his brown hair neatly parted to the left make him look like a god - should they exist. He takes your breath away, even if you’ve seen every picture and fancam you were able to find. The universe really said, “this one deserves the best” and threw you the biggest catch out there. You could only hope he enjoyed the simple pair of jeans and pastel yellow sweater you’d thrown on for the occasion.

It takes a while before they begin the meet and greet part, the boys introducing themselves and asking questions, letting their fan sites take pictures before they turn their attention to the individual fans as they pass them. With every moment that passes by, every row you watch stand and enter the line to the stage, you become more and more nervous. Of course, you knew your soulmate was truly Namjoon, but you were still terrified to reveal that truth in front of everyone. You’d seen a few announcements regarding the boys and their soulmates, talking about how their respective soulmate would be treated like another one of the boys and would be protected by BigHit as soon as they were found. You knew you’d at least have his company behind you, but…

What about his fans?

You can’t help but fester in your own thoughts, letting them consume you even as you make your way into the line with your box. You try your best to muster up the courage you need, but the looming presence of the table getting closer and closer makes your breathing harder. All you need to do is remain calm. They were just people.

The people who’ve spent almost 7 years with your soulmate.

And your soulmate himself.

No biggie.

“Ma’am.” The voice of the staff keeping the line interrupts your internal panic, pulling you back to reality. He points to the table where an excited Taehyung smiles eagerly at you with an empty space in front of him. “You’re next.”

“Yes! Thank you.” Reeling from embarrassment, you quickly kneel down to the space in front of the table. You give a small bow and hand over your album to the boxy-smiled boy in front of you, your hands shaking from how nervous you are. All you had to do was make it through 5 more boys and you’d meet your soulmate. 

5 more people....

...and you’d meet your soulmate.

A hand lands on top of your own, “There’s no need to be nervous!” Taehyung is bright and happy, calmly running a thumb over the back of your hand as he uses the other to sign your album. His eyes shift from you to the paper and back to you, “You’re doing great~”

You felt a little bad for probably ignoring him. He must’ve been trying to introduce himself when he’d noticed you’d spaced out yet again. Yet here he was, acting as though it wasn’t even that big of a deal. Of course, he still had about 50 more people or so to have a minute conversation with, but he genuinely seemed to care. It made you feel more confident.

“Thank you.” You say, a smile gracing your lips. You were still nervous, but at least now you felt calm and somewhat collected to at least make it through the other members. You move onto Yoongi, then to Jeongguk, to Jin, to Jimin, and then to Hoseok. Once again, you’re feeling a little guilty about the time you spend with him. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to be in front of him, but your soulmate was less than 2 feet away from you looking like he walked out of a Vogue photo shoot with a happy little smile on his face. Hopefully, if all goes well you can apologize to him for being distracted.

The staff moves everyone along and your time finally comes. You bid Hoseok a quick thank you and goodbye and move yourself in front of Namjoon, his box tucked close to your body as a way to keep you grounded. 

Namjoon takes your album from Hoseok before he turns his full attention to you, his dimples that you’d been obsessed with since you’d first seen them making an appearance. His dark brown eyes stare into your own, “Hi, what’s your name?”

You’re so entranced by the man in front of you that you almost don’t respond. You manage a quiet, “(Y/n)...” But you’re so stunned and breathless that you think about repeating it just to make sure he hears it.

“Really?” He asks. His eyes widen for just a moment, and you know he recognizes it from a homework assignment or a book you’d probably lost with your name in it. You watch his shoulders as they tense and then relax as if they’d never lifted in the first place. “I really like that name. It’s one of my favorites.”

You watch him turn to the album in front of him, looking for the page you’d like him to sign. Being in front of him now, you feel your confidence grow. You can’t help yourself, “Really? Is there a reason?”

“I’ve just always liked the name.” He says, looking up momentarily with a tight smile. He probably didn’t want to be too obvious about his soulmate - well, you - so fans wouldn’t go looking for you. That must be the one downside to the life of an idol. You watch him carefully, taking in the way he handles your album with care. You watch him flip through pages, his smile slipping for a confused frown. He looks at you, “You don’t have a question for me?”

You jump at the sudden realization that you hadn’t given him the box yet, “No! I do…” This was it. You look from him to the box you’ve clung onto for two years, “It’s inside the box.”

Carefully, you slide the box forward, feeling the nerves you’ve been feeling all day spring to life. He takes it from you with a grateful smile, probably expecting a bear or something you’d made yourself just for him. But judging by the look on his face, you can tell he wasn’t expecting to find the objects in front of him. His shocked face makes you chuckle.

“I’ve always wondered how one person can lose so many things. I understand homework and socks, the airpods, but an entire trophy, Namjoon? How do you lose a trophy?” You ask. You wait for an answer, but he looks as if he’s completely shut down. His jaw hangs open ever so slightly, and his eyes are wide in disbelief. You see a glisten in his eyes and your amusement turns to worry, “Are you okay?”

The leader turns to you, glistening eyes staring into your own. His mouth opens and closes and it looks like he’s trying to find the right words to say, “I-...I don-...oh my god, you’re actually here.”

You watch as the shine in his eyes turn to tears that slowly roll down his cheeks, his mouth struggling to decide if he wants to frown or smile. You’re more worried than anything, “Wah-! Don’t cry! Why are you crying?!” You reach for his hands that still rest on the sides of the box, mimicking what Taehyung had done for you when you first stepped up to the table. “Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He says softly, his voice cracking ever so slightly. You’re still confused if he himself is happy or not, trying to make sense of why he’s crying when he just met you. You watch his eyes drift over you with an unclear expression. Was he happy? Was he sad? Were you supposed to be reacting the same way?

“You’re beautiful…” He says, teary eyes meeting your own.

“So are you.” You respond. It’s only after the words fall from your mouth that you realize what you said and you try to correct yourself, “Handsome! I meant to say you’re handsome! You’re very attractive in a very masculine way, but that’s not to say you don’t express femininity well when you choose to and you look good all the time and-” Amidst your struggle for the correct words, he’d begun to laugh at your own expense. Not how you imagined this meeting to go, you shrink back to your side of the table, “I’ll just stop talking.”

“No! Please, keep talking.” He begs, moving forward to come closer to you. He pulls on your hands that still connect across the table, squeezing to reassure you that he still wanted you to be near him. It felt so nice to have him hold your hands, so nice and comforting, that you must’ve missed the glistening in your own eyes, “Now you’re crying!”

Your hands pull from his to hide your face, “No I’m not, it’s just raining inside!” 

As you try to wipe away your tears, you hear the voice of Jimin call over the speakers just off to the side of the table, “You’re not supposed to make the fans cry!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Namjoon defends. In all fairness, you did make him cry first, so this was probably fair.

Hoseok claps his hands together, his voice just subtly coming through the speakers as well, “This is so sweet! We’re all witnessing two soulmates meet for the first time!” 

“It’s like a movie, but without the flower petals.” Taehyung adds, having a mic of his own on his side as well.

“Miss.” Another staff member appears next to you, only this time they’re offering a hand and a smile, “Could I have you come with me?”

You’re nervous at first, not sure if going with this staff member would be the best idea. However, the presence of Namjoon’s hand on your own once more draws your attention to his heartwarming smile, “It’s okay.”

You nod and stand, allowing the staff to lead you behind the table and into the hallway to a waiting area. They have you sit on the couch, assuring you that Namjoon and the others would be there to see you soon. This at least gave you a moment to collect your thoughts and come to the realization that you really just met your soulmate after so much hard work to get there. You’d thought plenty of times that you’d regret trying to meet him this way, but now you couldn’t be more elated that you actually got to speak to him and hold his hands. You made him cry - what were hopefully - tears of joy! Even as their manager sits down to make small talk with you while you wait for the end of the fanmeet, you can’t help but to feel as if you’re on cloud 9. 

It’s not too long until you hear that the meeting has come to an end, making your heart rate speed up. Once again, you take a deep breath in and let it out, preparing yourself to face Namjoon again. Only when he does come in, you both just stare at one another. Him from the doorway with his members waiting behind him and you from your spot on the couch. You’d already met, you’d already held hands, but this...he was right there.

“Well, are you going to talk to her or just look at her?” Jin asks, a mischievous smirk gracing his features as he stares at the younger.

It would seem that the small jab at the leader was all he needed to push himself forward, legs moving swiftly across the room in long strides just so he can reach you. You stand, intending to meet him halfway, but he’s already pulling you into a much needed embrace before you even get the chance. His arms wrap over your shoulders, caging you close to his chest as he leans down to rest his head on your own. He smells so nice, and his embrace is so warm, they almost distract you from the wetness you feel on top of your head.

“Namjoon…?” You ask, worried you might make him cry more by asking.

The man himself pulls back, quickly moving to wipe his tears as if he hadn’t already cried in front of you already, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so emotional right now.”

“Don’t apologize. I think it’s cute.” You assure him. You look down, feeling a bit embarrassed yourself, “Much cuter than showing up to your fansign with a bunch of your things.”

“How long have you known?” He asks.

“2 long and painful years.” You sigh. Thinking back on everything you’ve done since discovering who and where he was, you can’t help but be thankful it worked out this time around, “I’ve tried coming to a fan sign 3 times before this.”

“Couldn’t win a ticket?” Jeongguk asks from the side, a bottle of water in his hands.

Your sheepish smile turns into a strained one, “Yeah...we’ll go with that.”

Yoongi seems to pick up on your change in attitude, “Don’t tell me…” 

“No wonder the universe put them together, they’re a match made in heaven!” Jin laughs, the sound being much more entertaining in person. The other members of BTS continue to talk amongst themselves, discussing the scene before them as well as how exciting the day had been. But Namjoon, instead, focuses all of his attention on you.

“Please tell me you’re free for the rest of the day.” 

For once, you were more than happy to use your holiday time, “I’m free for the rest of the weekend.”

“Good.” He says, giving you another look at his beautiful, dimpled smile.

“Good...”

* * *

“So, what’s in the box?” 

#fae fic #fae writes #sope-and-shine #lost and found #cypherwritersnet #bts #bts au #soulmate au #bts soulmate au #bts soulmate #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts rm x reader #knj oneshot #knj x reader #bts rm #kim namjoon #x reader #female reader #x female reader #fanfiction #fan fiction #bts fanfiction #fluff #oneshot

[dukeofonions]

Season Two Episode Ranking

Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want. 

Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine. 

I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?

So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare! 

Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking! 

I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming. 

Like, bruh. 

Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes? 

Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.

And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there. 

Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.

#11 Embarrassing Phases

There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.

Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.

And that's it.

My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!

He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"

In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"

Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.

Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."

Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???

It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!

Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.

What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?

Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"

Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!

What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?

Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10

#10 Putting Others First

There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.

I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.

And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.

Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?

And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.

You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.

Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.

But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.

I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.

#9 Crofters- The Musical

Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.

And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.

Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.

So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.

#8 Fitting In

I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.

But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.

And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.

It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.

And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.

#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two

Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.

This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.

I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.

What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.

Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.

This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.

#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.

This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.

Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"

Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.

Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.

Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.

More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.

Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.

There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.

Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.

#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas

This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.

The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.

There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.

#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness

Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time. 

Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides. 

He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time. 

And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno. 

The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious. 

I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner. 

While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit. 

#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts

This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.

Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed. 

The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it. 

There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode. 

Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it. 

Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...

Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both. 

Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see. 

All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three. 

#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves

This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes. 

Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good. 

I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off. 

I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one. 

I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?

And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!

Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation. 

I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...

#1 Can Lying Be Good?

The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.

I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”

Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”

This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal. 

The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much. 

Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.

Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable. 

And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as. 

Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed. 

Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.

Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right. 

A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out. 

I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas. 

The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!

I love everything about this. 

Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.

Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.

I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit. 

The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone. 

It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.

My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through. 

And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives. 

#dukeofrankings #dukeofcritical #this one post spawned so many future posts #i'm gonna be a busy onion

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 16 + 17.12.20 lb

16.12.20

riddhima having completely opposite reaction to me, on discovering ki iss shakal ke do do bande ghoom rahein hain dharti pe.

hubs praising wifey’s intellect (he has a real low bar huh) in attached note and saying ki yeh birthday kamaaaaaaaal ka hoga.

meanwhile kabir has come back to investigate the trap door. bhai you keep saying “policewaala hoon, policewaala hoon” but i don’t see you actually going to work. “policewaala hoon” is this show’s “main AAAAADIIIINAAAAAGIN hoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!” to which literally all of us just respond, haan toh???? nahi matlab, sach mein.......... TOH??? hum kya hi karein iss bohut hi obvious yet useless information ke saath?

A+ hide and seek game going on here.

lmaooooooo iski shakal dekho, on being interrogated. he’s suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a shady fuck.

oh boy she said the word that shouldn’t ever be said to tellywood MLs..... “warna”....... it only leads to one thing:

yup. this fuckery.

“tumhe har baat kyun jaanni hoti hai??? nahi bataana.” lmao well, when you put it like that......

some ainvayi ka blah blah meant to deter her but only makes her more determined. coz hubs knows wifey veryyyyyyyyyy well by now.

also he just said that the raaz is “khoobsoorat”. so this has a positive result ultimately i think?

andddd he dropped a new aag metaphor: “aag dekhne mein khoobsoorat hai lekin usmein haath daalna akalmandi ka kaam nahi hai.” (remember when he told her as vansh wrt the whole ragini thing ki “aag mein haath daalogi toh aag ko kuch nahi hota, lekin tumhare haath jal jaayenge.”)

also lmao kab karti hai riddhima akalmandi ka kaam????? yes MO is literally just “is it questionable and are people telling me RIDDHIMA NOOOOOO? THEN RIDDHIMA YESSSSSSSSS.”

so of course she’s like fuck you i wanna know at alllll costs.

“yeh raaz tumhe ek aisi duniya mein le jayega riddhima jahaan se laut ke aana tumhare liye impossible hai.” ....... so exactly like being stuck in this house/family????? pfttttt, warn her with something she HASN’T been dealing with everyday for the past 6 months.

some more dumb mysterious metaphors and he finally leaves. 

NOW WHO THE FUCK IS WATCHING HER FROM OUTSIDE?????? OUFF THIS FUCKING HOUSE IS FILLED WITH CREEPS AND PERVERTS.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MIRROR KE PEECHE THERE’S ONE ITTTU SA SAFE  MADE SPECIALLY JUST TO HOLD ONE (1) THIN PIECE OF PAPER. AMAZING.

OH?

OHHHH??????

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

meanwhile idhar someone badeeeeeee safaai se maarofied the photo. ok you were spying on her from outside and knew that there was a compartment behind the mirror. BUT HOW DID YOU CRACK THE PASSWORD ON FIRST TRY??????????? IDHAR MERE KO APNA HI GMAIL TUMBLR INSTA PASSWORD 3 BAAR ENTER KARNE HOTE HAIN BEFORE IT LETS ME IN.

“happy birthday, Dollar Biwi!” mmmmhmmm got you all wet under the shower in black, Happy Birthday to all of us, indeed!!!!!

“i hope tum hamesha aise hi girti raho aur main pakadta rahoon!” snort. vihaan babu, permanantly yahaan ghar basaane ka plan banaa liya hai kya???? not even pretending anymore that he’s not in this mess for saath janam.

lmao she’s like fuck you i just wanna know the secret.

smarmy fuck is like hmmmmmm, birthday ke din bataaa hi doon kya? fucking tease.

he’s like ok fine, in the evening, at the party you’ll get a gift that’ll be your answer.

she’s like if you break your promise and don’t give me the answer?

“toh koi aur de dega.” this fuckerrrrrrrrrrr. he playing 3d chess, he fully knows what’s happening outside with the picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she’s like pls no one else knows this secret, i have hidden it verrrrrrrrrrrry safely; and he’s like, if there’s one thing i learnt from vansh, it’s that the walls of VR mansion are neverrrrrrr safe. kabhi bhi kuchhhhhhhh bhi ho sakta hai.

Chehra Appreciation Break.

she runs out and........... the photo is goneeeeeeeee.

riddhima constantly wanting to beat up/murder vihaan is such a Mood lmao.

anyway he beat her with the powers of Logic. and Handsomeness. mostly Logic tho.

so if he didn’t do it................. she concludes ki obviously it was kabir.

ok but what if it was ANGRE, who’s milofied with boss to give bhaabiji an excellent birthday surprise???? he too knows howwwwwww much sis loves to do jasoosi and play these games. MAN JUST GIMME MY V/ANGRE BROTP BACKKKKKKKKKK.

anyway, birthday surprise has now turned into a headache and hubs like oh nooooooo, this is not what i wanted???? i wanted her to be happpppy and enjoy herselffffff.

girl back at bappa’s sharan. coz where else to go, really?

oh shit dadi’s here ranting and raving about knowing the truth. ohhhhhhhhh boy.

dadi has decided to make herself the birthday candle that riddhima has to blow out.

man, the matriarch of the house is throwing kerosene all over herself and everyone’s just standing around watching, instead of intervening in any useful way. everyone just want that raisinghania $$$$$$$ huh?

oh. dream tha. this bloody show and its never-ending dream sequences.

waise bhi iss set pe roz 4-5 cake aate hi honge, toh unko bas stack kar liya, ho gaya kaam. production mein se extra budget nahi nikaalna pada iske liye.

V has specialllllllllllll gift for Dollar Biwi. yeh hua na gifttttttt. yisssssss gimme that USD, sonnnnnnn. exchange rate 73 touch kar gaya hai and the way it’s going........ it’s gonna reach even higher soon.

aslkjdaslkjdlaskjdlkaslksajd riddhima and kabir’s reactions. they’re honestly so fucking done with this asshole.

ishani like since when you have such a sense of humour, bhai????? arre tha hamesha se hi, tum logon ne mauka hi kab diya hai bande ko joke maarne ka? har waqt kuch na kuch kalesh chalta rehta hai iss ghar mein jo bechaare ko sametna hota hai.

kabir adding to anxiety with this birthday will be so special blah blah blah.

and now the cake R cut just exploded with red liquid that ishani injected into it. birthday ke din hi tum sabhi manhooson ko bachchi pe bhadaas nikaalni hai???? ek din toh baksh do bechaari ko.

LOL DADI KNOWS IT’S ISHANI AND SHE’S JUST LIKE

sab ka cake khaana khilaana blah blah.

hubs takes a moment to actually wish her sincerely with mushy eyes and soft voice. sweet.

ouff one moreeeeee surprise. aaj shaam birthday party. organized by kabir. greaaaaaat. 

riddhima’s face = mine when i too am forced into social events that i have less than zero interest in attending.

lmaooooooooooooo kabir called him “vansh bhai” and the slowwwwww turn V did to look at him like ‘bitch what you say??????’

snark snark snark.

kabir rolling out some tray and......... the episode ends. god this is so fucking boring so much buildup to a bloody partyyyyyyyyyyy.  just get it the fuck over with my god!!!!!!!

———————————————————————

17.12.20

K’s presented her with a buncha envelopes to choose the theme of the party or some such shit and riddhima’s like the fucker had put the photo in one of these for sureeeeeee.

Chehra(s) Appreciation Break

anyway she picked one envelope and there’s a letter from K saying i have the secret you were hiding, it’ll be out in the party, blah blah.

interesting thing is that this letter is written in hindi. the letter from vansh was hindi transliterated in english. hmmmmmm. i mean, lol, this has no larger bearing on the plot, just an observation i’m making and wondering about the show’s choices.

lmao he did this lil eyebrow thing that just neeeeeeded to be giffed. i love this face so much!

hubs is sensing something is realllllllllll wrong and taking charge of the conversation and declares party ka theme colour is gold, and that riddhima is gonna look hot in black and gold. uh....... ok?

everyone disperses and V is warning K ki if you fuck this party up in anyyyyyyyyy way that makes the birthday girl upset..............

vishal is making sooooooooo many amazing gif-worthy faces today. about time i make a set on him.

riddhima turning K’s room uthal-puthal to find the photo and obviously failsssss.

and he’s here with a bouquet of balloons and OMG BURSTING THEM ONE BY ONE LIKE THIS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

lotsaaaaaaaa threatening blah blah and riddhima is trying to reason with him and............ god i’m so bored.

“tum na riddhima bohut hi ajeeb type ki ladki ho. jis kaam ke liye mana kiya jaata hai tum EXACTLY wohi karti ho!!!!” hahahahahaha both her boytoys should meet up over a drink about this very special characteristic of her’s. they’ll find they have more in common than they think.

lmao literally noone else can make a party horn and the birthday song seem this hilariously threatening. i love him so muchhhhh.

behen is now crying in front of vansh’s photu. you know, to spice things up a lil.

saw some random photo frame sitting there, and just opened it and happened to find a bank transfer reciept from vansh to vihaan. for 5 crore. and on the 8th of december, 2017. ok but my question is what about the frame said ki open this and find exactly what you’re looking for behind the picture???????

storming off to find V and............

lo ji aaj ke girrne ka karyakram shuru.

lmao the contrast in reactions.

“kismat tumhe har pal, har kadam mere aur kareeb laa rahi hai, riddhima.”

he’s being very cute in this scene. he genuinely does want her to have a good birthday, it seems.

unffffffffff. aise na mujhe tum dekho................

lmao she’s like you are the singlemost biggest fucking reason of all my stress, birthday or otherwise. wtf vansh give you 5 crore for????/ he’s like patience lil birdy, the answers are your birthday present. it’ll come in good time.

she’s yelling at him for being so chill when kabir is about to expose them and he’s just putting it all on her saying you’re the one going down for it anyway. and maybe if you’d told me about that mysterious letter earlier, i coulda helped you. SO BLOOOOODY ANNOYING HE IS.

anyway he’s like don’t worry i’ll handle it. but you have to give me apni zindagi ki ek khoobsoorat shaam. which............... gross. didn’t have to frame it like THAT.

she went to slap him but ofc he intercepted. ugh he’s so massive how the fuck is someone to even subdue him????? god i hate men.

anyway she told him he’s disgustaaaaaang and won’t take his help and he’s like yeah but it’s not just about you, there are manyyyyyy lives at stake here.

HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE FOR PLAYING WITH HER THIS WAY. THERE’S NO WAY SHE WINS HERE IN HIS EYES. IF SHE DOESN’T TAKE HIS HELP, THAT MEANS SHE HOLDS HER EGO AND SELF RESPECT OVER THE FAMILY’S SAFETY. IF SHE DOES GIVE UP HER SELF RESPECT TO SAVE THE FAMILY, HE’S JUST GONNA USE IT TO THROW ACCUSATIONS AT HER CHARACTER. FUCK IT’S JUST SUCH A HORRIBLE, BAD FAITH EXPERIMENT. I HATE HIM. AND SINCE WE KNOW ALREADY THAT SHE’S GONNA AGREE FOR THE DATE OR WHATEVER, I SWEAR TO GOD IF HE SHAMES HER FOR THAT LATER, IMMA CLIMB INTO THE SCREEN AND CASTRATE HIM WITH A RUSTY BUTTER KNIFE.

the signal for the yes to the offer is a........ “flying dance” during the party. which sounds as fucking ridiculous as.......... everything else in this fucking show, i suppose.

LMAO SHE IMITATED THE LIL SMUG EXPRESSION HE MADE IN SUCH A CUTE/FUNNY WAY. WHY THIS SHOW DOESN’T LET HELLY ALSO BE MORE EXPRESSIVE WITH HER FACE IN A CUTE WAY???? SHE LITERALLY HAS A DISNEY PRINCESS FACE AND ALL THESE FUCKERS MAKE HER DO IS CRY AND SCREAM AND BE WORRIED.

what a fucking simp for his wife. i love it.

askdjlksjdlkasjdlksajldkjlkdjlkj there’s a watermark on the mumbai stock footage. this show gives nooooooo fucks about quality at all.

party time. and the lights have gone out.

someone messing with the electronic equipment in the worsttttttttttt fucking way, by putting kerosene on the floor and setting a fuse alight??????? like????? just cut all the wires instead of causing a fullll fucking house fire like this?????????

lmao ishani is like lights ko gaye itna time ho gaya, yeh zaroor riddhima ki kismat ka koi ishaara hai. sis you need to chill with the savage. ek din toh chhod do usko.

ok they’re really hot today. really fucking hot.

lmao she’s smiling but chabaa chabaa ke saying ki i’ll never say yes to your shady idea.

kabir walks up to her, gives her flowers, AND ACTUALLY THREATENED HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF V’S FACE. THE WAY V’S FACE CHANGED IN SECONDS YOU GUYS................

coldly impassive.....

...... to YOU’RE REALLY TRYING TO RUIN MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY WHEN I EXPLICITLY WARNED YOU NOT TO?????????

..... to OH HE GON’ DIE TONIGHT.

.......... to silently giving reassuring look ki he’ll handle this.

that fuse is stillllllllllllll burning. at the fucking speed of paint drying on a rainy day.

speech timeeeeeeeee by kabir. and he has a video too. lorddddd.

V still cheekily offering his services, and she’s like bitch i did my own intezaam already. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. kerosene aur fuse waala stupidass plan iska hi tha. should have guessed from the level of sheeeeeer dumbness that it was her and no one else.

lmao he’s like ok but this was too good an opportunity for me, so i counter-attacked YOUR counter-attack. that wasn’t kerosene. i switched it out for blue paani. OH GOD RIDDHIMA DUMBASS DID YOU NOT EVEN SMELL THE FLUID TO CHECK WHAT IT WAS??????????????

“kahaani kuch bhi ho, important yeh hai ki uska climax kya hota hai. aur iss kahaani ka climax tumhare saamne hai, riddhima.”

bitch yehi toh dikkat hai, ki abhi tak koiiiiiiiiii climaxes nahi milen hain issko. na vansh se, na vihaan se. what’s the use of all this thopda and ambidexterous haath if there’s no climaxes resulting from them? waste fellow. get working on delivering those climaxes PRONTO, sir.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

[moneypedia]

March 27, 2017 By Drew Shepherd

So this post is obviously about depression, but since this is the first one here, I guess I should start by asking, “What is Hunger for Excellence?”

I see it as a tool to build people up. It’s an outlet for me to use what I’ve learned over the years to help others.

I want them to develop a mindset that finds the good in any situation. And I want them to experience the joy I have now without wandering through what I did for years.

That’s why this site exists.

Everything here is for the benefit of others, but in my mind I’m only writing for one person.

I’m writing for “myself”.

Not me personally, but for that one person who’s still where I was in the past. I strive to be the person now that I needed then.

Depression is an experience that’s still fresh in my memory, but now I can say without a doubt that I did more than beat depression…

I conquered it. It’s finished. It’s over.

You may be in the same position I was in back then, and I believe it’s my duty to show you how I defeated this attack on the mind.

So I’ve split this post into two parts with Part 1 telling my personal story, and Part 2 showing a guide that helped me turn it all around.

Now I know you don’t want to listen to someone who has no idea what you’re going through, but I promise, I’ve been there, and I discovered peace that most people can’t begin to understand.

My Story

Today I’m happy to say that I enjoy life. I’m in control of my mental state and I understand how to find real peace and happiness. The only person who can destroy my outlook now is myself, and I refuse to let that happen.

It hasn’t always been this way, though. I used to be one weak kid.

I grew up as an only child in a loving family. And despite my goofy personality, everyone I knew liked me.

I was a promising student and a better than average basketball player. So nothing to complain about really. I was good at everything I did then because, well, I always had been.

But that all changed around high school.

Basketball was getting serious and people on all sides pretty much forced me to transfer schools. So being the naïve kid I was, I left and hoped for the best.

It wasn’t a decision I wanted to make, but it made sense. Opportunities were everywhere. Not just in athletics but as a student too.

I could have a fresh start with a new team, there were plenty of people to meet, and the new school was on the popular side of town.

The problem was, I didn’t have a mindset close to what I needed to make that change. I thought I was entitled to any form of success. And why not? Everything I touched turned to gold before then.

I was paralyzed when I saw things wouldn’t be so easy. All I could think about on the court was keeping up with the new guys. I remember practices where my hands were literally shaking because I felt so much pressure to perform.

This lack of confidence led to a quick loss of my teammates’ respect. And I was even denied my favorite jersey number, 22.

My fear sabotaged any attempt I made to improve. Couple that with the knee injuries I sustained during the year, and it’s easy to see why I was cut after one mediocre season.

It was the first time I had ever been dropped from a roster, and that drove everything else downhill.

But the worst part about it was, I wanted to be cut.

By then I just didn’t care. A game I loved became a chore to me and I hated every minute of it.

I wish I could say I tried my hardest and failed. I wish I could say I was sad when I didn’t see my name on that list.

But I can’t. And that still hurts the most.

Downhill

If you’ve ever been robbed, you know how vulnerable it makes you feel afterwards. The fact that someone entered your place and took what you worked for makes you feel helpless.

Well I let fear rob me of what I had loved since childhood, and I was stuck in a place where I didn’t belong afterwards.

It was all embarrassing.

It changed the way I viewed myself and I didn’t look others in the eyes anymore. People looked in my direction and it was like they saw right through me.

I became a very cynical person around that time—definitely not someone you wanted to be around. The few friends I had back then picked up on it and of course they turned away.

Watching friends turn their backs on me led to bitterness on my end, but with the way I was acting, I don’t know how anyone could have tolerated me.

I second-guessed my interactions with everyone. Why wouldn’t others see me as a failure if that was how I viewed myself?

My attitude led me to believe that no one could relate to me. And being one of the few, if not the only black kid in my classes confirmed that belief in my mind.

But even the high grades I always earned started to slip. I went from being an overachiever in the classroom to just being good enough to keep my parents off my back.

And with the teenage hormones on top of that, I lost all confidence. Classmates asked me how the chemo was going to treat the “tumors” I couldn’t control, and that nearly broke me.

I told my parents about all this so they would understand why I was falling apart. But they only gave the “just be yourself”, “be friendly to others”, “it’ll just work out” advice you get from well-meaning people. Besides, kids from Christian families weren’t supposed to deal with this kinda stuff.

All of that frustration took its toll on me, and I remember looking in the mirror to see my own scowl in the reflection.

But soon my eyes dulled and a blank gaze replaced the grimace that was there before. And I stopped caring about everything.

Escape

Since I didn’t know how to cope with any of this, I tried to escape. I was smart enough to avoid alcohol and drugs back then, but I had to find something.

Food was one source I used to fill my void. I ate any and everything, whenever I wanted, and soon I was unrecognizable after gaining 40 pounds.

Videogames were the other route I took. I enjoy playing them now in the rare chance I have free time, but back then it was go to school, eat, and play games.

Gaming was one activity I was still good at, and people appreciated me when it was time to play. It was one area where I didn’t feel useless—like I actually had something to offer.

But soon it got to the point where I was playing till early morning every day. My eyelids barely opened in class but it didn’t matter to me. The hint of joy I got from playing outweighed everything else.

But my mind wasn’t satisfied with those forms of escape.

Some of the lowest points I remember were on the drives home from school. I saw cars in the other lane driving towards me and the thought of “what if…” kept popping up.

I even imagined what my funeral would be like. And I smirked and teared up at the thought of my parents sitting alone in the empty pews.

But while I never seriously considered suicide, I still couldn’t stop the thoughts. I just knew I needed a way out.

That’s why I started counting the days till graduation. My environment had to be the cause of all this. It couldn’t have been me.

Enough

Graduation came and went, and guess what? Nothing changed.

If anything my first few years in college left me more isolated. My parents weren’t around anymore and plenty of new strangers saw how lonely I really was. I would hear chuckles in class and I always thought people were taunting me.

The transition to college coursework didn’t help either. I had never felt that…dumb before. I lost any trace of being a great student and I was in danger of losing my biggest scholarship.

My list of failures kept growing and growing. My high school experience was a disaster. I couldn’t make or keep any friends. And now there was a good chance that I would need thousands of more dollars to stay in school.

That was when I had enough.

I hated the mess I was in. I knew that if I lost that scholarship, my fall from wherever I was at before would have been complete.

Basketball, high school, former friends, I knew none of that mattered anymore but I was still hurting. I just wanted to enjoy my last years before the “real world”, and yet I couldn’t.

I knew I needed to change but I didn’t know how.

Comeback

So what did I do next?

I did the same thing I’d advise you to do if you’re ready to change.

I made a decision. A decision to commit to excellence. I wanted to do better in every part of my life.

So I chose to:

Embrace my faith

Craft an undeniable work ethic

Get in the best shape of my life

And love others but not be devastated if I was alone

I was sick of the life I was living. I didn’t know how to turn it around but I knew I had to stop accepting it.

And that decision was what led to change within the next few years:

My grades shot up to the top of the class

I lost those 40 pounds and got into better shape than my playing days

I formed satisfying relationships that I never thought I would see again

But most importantly, I found peace that others couldn’t begin to understand.

“Well that sounds great Drew, but how could you possibly help me?

Weren’t you just a loser in school? You didn’t get fired from your job. You didn’t lose one of your loved ones. Your family wasn’t torn apart by divorce…”

You’re right. None of that happened to me.

I was just a kid who let a few disappointments grow into a lingering depression. But I told my story to relate to how you may feel, not to have a woe-is-me pity party where we see who’s lived the worst life.

It’s okay to be disappointed. Things won’t always go your way. But you can’t let a temporary defeat turn into permanent failure like I did.

I wasted 4 years of my youth being an empty shell because of that mistake. And that’s no way to live life.

Make Your Choice

Again, this all comes down to what you choose.

If you don’t want to work to change your situation, and all you want to do is complain and hope it magically ends…

Then I can’t help you. No one can.

But…

If you’re done living like this, and you’ve committed to making a change…

Part 2 is for you.

You’re ready to turn things around, and I won’t get in your way.

-Drew

#suicide

[who-is-olivia]

Track 3. Carolina

Harry Styles x OC

Olivia travels to Jamaica to help Harry on his album but finds him with another girl. [6.9k]

Genre: smut, fluff

Warnings: sexual language

October 2017

  Harry’s freaking out. For the last three weeks he had been brainstorming and writing songs almost automatically, pushed by the presence of so many creative people and the relaxing environment of Jamaica. But these couple of days, he’s been stuck. No two words seem to combine and make a perfect verse no matter how hard he tries, and he’s trying.

  Mitch can’t stand his wallowing anymore. He’s grown to love Harry as he is, but if he could delete the relentless perfectionist, he would. They’re running out of time and inspiration, so Mitch pulls out his secret weapon, getting his phone and walking to a far away corner of the manor. He dials the number and waits for her to pick up.

“Hey Mitch! How’s Jamaica?” Olivia asks.

  Harry and Olivia grew apart. They were still dear friends and nobody could replace each other in their hearts, but they still weren’t able to tune in the same frequency. One moment they had big plans for their wedding, the other they were on a break. When he booked the tickets to Jamaica, Mitch thought Oli was coming along – as she worked with Harry more than anyone in the team and is a brilliant songwriter – but she wasn’t in the plans. In fact, they barely spoke for the whole trip because Harry supposedly wants to rid himself from every other influence. Mitch was the one checking in on her, and that has been going on since they first met.

  Mitch and Olivia were more than just good friends. When he met her through Frank, he was of course intrigued. But then, working on her third album became something that he cherished, she’s a grand spectacle when she’s in action and it’s a privilege to watch. He grew extremely fond of her, it was almost offensive when Harry didn’t bring her along but it was also an opportunity for him to make a move.

“Fucking hot” he replies and welcomes her giggle on the other end of the line, “how you doin’? Everything good?”

“Good, yeah, Frank and I got some work to do, writing, producing, stuff like that”

“Are you terribly busy?”

“Not really... why?” she lingers on the last word with suspicious.

“We need you, Harry can’t write songs anymore” he blurts, looking around to make sure nobody’s listening. On her end of the line he hears a sigh.

“Mitchie, he doesn’t want me there”

“I do” he replies with a vocal pout, “I miss you, Oli”

He knows she’s smiling when she talks. “You’re such a softie!”

“Can you make it or not?”

“Ugh... fine, I’ll pack my bags” he hears someone approaching.

“Great! Let me know when to pick you up, bye!” he quickly ends the call and hides the phone in his pocket. The estranged visitor is Harry, half naked and wet from the seawater, coming around to hug his shoulder and look at the landscape. “What’s up?”

“It’s fucking awful man, I lost it” Harry mumbles, pulling him closer. “I was doing so good now I don’t feel it”

“Just give it a day or two, it’ll come to you” he bites back a smirk and rejoices in his clever use of words.

“Can’t wait” he unlaces Mitch and taps his back playfully. “We’re going out tonight, you coming?”

“Hm...” he stops, if Olivia arrives tonight he might need to get to the airport. It’s actually good that he’s away from the manor, it’ll make for a bigger surprise. “No, I’ll stay”

“Alright, grandma!” Harry taunts and takes a leave.

  Night comes and, as predicted, Olivia arrives at the airport. Mitch waits until all the guys leave the house so he can call a cab and meet up with her. Harry takes a lifetime to get ready and leave, but when he does he looks stylish and fresh, his perfume leaving a trace of him wherever he passes.

“You look smart” Mitch regards and he makes a little twirl.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been out but I still got it”

“Harry! Let’s go!” Ryan calls and he paces up to meet them, making sure to hi-5 Mitch before leaving the room. Once he hears the door closing and the engines leaving, he gets up and calls the cab.

  Harry and the boys end up in a club that looks a lot like a pool party with a privileged view of the Jamaican coast. For the first time in months he feels a bit like an alien, not only for his skin color but for the over-the-top stylistic clothes, as everyone else seems to wear swimsuits and very relaxed t-shirts.

“Thought you said it was a club” he complains to Ryan.

“This is a club, fancy pants!” he laughs despite Harry’s uncomfortable antic.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna get a drink”    

  Harry turns to the right and steps down the stairs, aiming for the bartender. The loud Caribbean music is enjoyable but he’s not in the mood to dance, after the first embarrassment of walking in he’s quite unwilling to be here. He asks for a strong Sangria and takes a stool, focusing on his smartphone for a while. Every time he checks his texts, he hopes Oli will talk to him. Everything went south when she announced a tour right after he got the hiatus, and all the months he planned to spend with her went down the drain. Maybe she misinterpreted the fact he didn’t bring her to Jamaica, she might feel as if he’s trying to get back at her but that’s not what happened at all. He just doesn’t want the distraction, and their imperfect relationship is too distracting, when they’re together he can’t think of anything other than their difficulty to communicate. So they’re on a break, and he doesn’t like how that feels.

“Hey” a random female voice calls him and he turns to find a beautiful blonde lady smiling at him, “you’re not from here, right?”

A grin creeps on his face as he puts the phone back in his pocket. “What gave it away?”

“Honestly? The whole set” she points at his outfit and laughs, he does look dramatically out of place. “Where are you from?”

“England”

“Where in England?” she insists, sipping on some orange-reddish drink. As his eyes divert to inspect the drink, he unconsciously diverts to the creek of her shirt where he can see a faint outline of her breasts.

“Cheshire. You?” he shifts his gaze back to her face and notices her eyes wandered too, and by her sly grin she likes what she sees.

“I’m currently living in L.A, but my family is from Carolina” he nods, something in her accent made him frown when she answered L.A. Not only that, but the way she speaks makes him feel very welcome, as if he could do no wrong in her eyes.

“I love L.A” His drink finally arrives and he sips on it while she messes with her honey-colored wavy strands of hair. It’s hard to look away from her and it shows when he almost lets the liquid spill.

“It’s nice... but it’s not home, you know?” she squints her eyes, almost trying to hide how homesick she really is. “I didn’t want to move, but there was not much to do in my hometown so my grandma gave me some money and sent me to the big city”

“I know how it feels, Holmes Chapel was quite small”

“Do you miss it?”

“Just my mum, really. I like being out and about”

“Out and about?” she tries to mimic his accent but it doesn’t sound accurate, just really endearing.

  Back at the manor, Mitch helps Oli inside with her bag while she takes in the luxurious place. She looks around the living room then goes straight to the kitchen, him following short with an amused smile. She takes some fruits from the fridge and makes a small dish for herself, taking a seat on the isle counter as she so fondly does.

“Honestly, this place is beautiful” she says, biting on a green grape. “And look at you! You even got a tan line!” she mocks, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.

“I told you, it’s fucking hot out here”

“Mitch, I’m from Rio. You don’t know what heat is unless you’ve been there in the summer” he giggles while nodding, she’s got a point. “Hey, do you have coconut oil here?”

“Probably” he turns to check the cabinets and finds a small pot with a coconut logo in it. “Is it this?”

“Let me see” he hands it to her and after reading through quickly, she opens the lid. “Yeah, this is it. Turn around”

He frowns. “Why?”

“‘Cause your hair is disgusting” she insists, holding his shoulders and forcefully turning him. To make him more comfortable, she slides backwards and make room for him to lean his back on the counter between her legs. At first he’s a bit stiff, but when she runs her fingers through his scalp he feels something he can’t quite name. Her oil-soaked hands run from the root to the ends, massaging the length of his hair gently. He closes his eyes, leaning into her touch until she makes him face her to adjust the small hairs that frame his face. She’s close, so close he can feel her breath fanning his eyelashes, but before he can say anything all the boys walk through the front door.

“Hello there Mitch” Ryan greets walking into the intimate scene. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Olivia” he helps her out of the counter and introduces her to the crew. “She came to help us with the writing”

“Oh! You’re the Olivia!” one of the guys points out. “Harry talks about you all the time”

“Really?” she smiles flattered.

“Where is he, by the way?” all the grins in the group fade a bit as they all stutter to find a decent answer that won’t offend her.

“He’s uh- he was with a few friends-“

“We didn’t want to take him, he was having fun”

  By their confusion, it’s clear they’re trying to tell a lie.

“Why don’t we settle you, huh? You can stay at Harry’s room, he won’t mind at all” Mitch tries clumsily to change the subject.

“I don’t think so” she shakes her head uncomfortably. He’s probably with a lady friend, judging by their embarrassment, and he doesn’t know she’s here. If he arrives with said lady friend and find his ex laying there, it’ll be so painfully awkward she can’t even fathom. “I’ll take the couch”

“Absolutely not! You’re a guest, take my room, I’ll share Derek’s” he suggests and Derek nods.

“Thanks Mitch” she smiles faintly and takes her bags.

  Down the coast, Harry and his lady friend – who’s called Townes – walk with their feet on the sand periodically being hit by small waves of seawater. She’s terribly sweet and captivating, he’s awfully kind and charming, they can see no other way for this night to end than with each other. At some given moment, Townes points a nice little bungalow with connection to the beach and walks them there.

“This is my place, do you wanna come inside?” she asks anxiously biting her lip.

“Sure” he nods and waits for her to make way. The place is clearly a summer house, there isn’t much furniture and the ones there are crumbling with rust due to the proximity to the ocean. Some of the rooms smell like mould and make him sneeze, but the overall charm of the house make it quite cozy. “This is nice” he plays with the shell lamps decorating the walls.

“You like it?” she leans on the same wall as he does, mere inches between their bodies.

He takes some time to answer, his head buzzing with alcohol and the desire to wrap an arm around her slim waist. “Yeah... I like it a lot” he opts to take a blonde strand of hair out of her eyes and she shies away, her eyes averting his. For a moment he wonders if he overstepped but then she moves, running her fingers over the open collar of his button shirt.

“Is this a butterfly?” she asks, trying to peak inside the fabric.

“It is... the other tattoos are just as stupid” he giggles embarrassedly.

“Can I?” she looks up at him, her pointer finger lingering over the next closed button and he nods. She tortuously opens them one by one, her eyes locked in his tanned stomach until she reaches the last one and pushes the fabric aside, gently leaning her touch against his warm skin. He tenses, urging to touch her in the same unapologetic way as she’s touching him. She slides her fingers to his ribcage, where some of the older tattoos are. Then, with one last subtle look at his eyes, she runs her finger down his stomach sparking a reaction wherever their skins meet until she reaches the vines on his v-line, tugging on the fabric of his trousers. He exhales sharply and she notices how... tense... he’s become.

  Instead of saying anything, Harry grips a handful of her hair and presses his lips on hers. She tastes of liquor and peach, her mouth warm and welcoming to his tongue. He regrets making it such an intense kiss at first, not taking the time to savor and please her, but the sensation of her curious touch worshiping his body loosens his reins. He presses her body against the wooden walls still with their lips attached, it’s his turn to feel her skin. She wears a orange shirt tugged inside her jeans, so he has to pull it up a bit clumsily before running his hands teasingly over her sides, the fabric clumping on his wrists, chilling hands sending goosebumps over warm skin. Just as a payback, he runs his touch over her stomach painfully slow, from her naval up to her bra and back down to the button of her trousers.

“Mhmm” she moans in his mouth and he smirks, having just confirmed she wants exactly what he does. He leaves the button there and slides to cup her ass, grabbing a nice handful of both cheeks and squeezing them apart.

“Townes” he parts the kiss momentarily but she plucks his lips.

“Yeah?”

He sighs, pulling her hips to crash against his. “I want you” she grins, breathing out a satisfied giggle.

“Come here” she pulls him to her bedroom, lights all down except for a window with a privileged view of the sea. She shuts the door and gets rid of her own shirt while Harry seats on the mattress still trying to process the situation. She cups his cheeks and kisses him intently, the strength unbalancing him for a moment as they almost fall backwards but get it right into a steamy make out. Aching for more, she takes his hands and presses their palms over the cup of her bra, urging for him to touch her. He squeezes them at first with her incentive, testing how they feel against his grasp, but then he digs into the fabric and looks for the two nubs throbbing inside the bra. He pinches her nipples curtly, sending tingles down to her core that immediately soaks. “Oh yeah...mhmm”

“You like that?” he pinches harder, wrenching a moan out of her. No one ever did that to her, she only ever had sex with her ex-boyfriend, and they barely experimented other than the missionary position. Although... there’s this one thing he always praised her for...

  She kisses him one last time before pulling his hands out of the way and getting on her knees. Harry’s breath quickens in anticipation as she undoes his button and zipper, struggling to reach the inside of his underwear and pull out his lean and long shaft. At first, she gives it teasing strokes from the base to the head, feeling his size, then she reaches to kiss his balls, earning a struggled groan.

“Right there... mhmm” he grasps a handful of her hair, trying to hold it out of the way. She makes her way up from his balls peppering his length with small kisses, his hardness doubling the length she has to take. He exhales sharply as she closes her mouth across the head, her soft tongue stroking the most sensitive parts of him. “Such a good girl... you’re gonna take it all in?” she looks up with his head on her mouth and smirks, slowly pulling him inside her hollow cheeks until her lips touch his base and all he can feel is the warm velvet of her mouth. “Fuck...”

  She bobs her head until she’s gasping for air, pulling him out and stroking his sticky shaft. The salty taste of precum is leaking and sliding over her tongue, so she recomposes quickly and hollows her cheeks once more, giving him the reins to thrust at will inside her throat, fucking her mouth until she pushes him away.

“You feel so fucking good” he strokes the hair he previously grasped, trying to provide at least some relief to her tension. He knew this night was going somewhere, and having her kneel between his legs was just the beginning for sure. She takes him inside her mouth again, and this time he thrusts her head faster, the warmth and the softness of her tongue against his stone hard shaft taking him closer and closer to an orgasm. “I won’t last long” he warns and she lets him out.

“You can come inside” she grins, putting him back in again in a haste so he won’t lose it. He humps inside her throat, she feels so good around him, so tight, he’s about to burst inside her delicious throat. With one final hard grip on her hair, he releases his thick cum inside her mouth and leaves it there for her to swallow. Taking his cock out feels sinful after such a good blowjob, he almost begs for another but it’s better to give her a break... and a reward.

“That was so good” he wipes the drool out of her chin and kisses her, tasting some of the salt he just dispersed. “Why don’t you climb over the bed and I’ll show you what I’m good at?”

  Back at the manor, Olivia lays awake in Mitch’s room with her earpods, listening to some of her favorite songs. The salmon bed sheets hug her body but give her no comfort, maybe it’s the jet lag, maybe it’s the anxiety of seeing Harry after a while, maybe it’s the fact that he’s probably getting some right now and it’s not with her. Sex with Harry is always wonderful, either when it’s flirtatious and exciting or when it’s passionate and calm, they never had troubles in their sex life. Maybe this is what they’re missing right now, a nice shag to remind them how connected they still are. Sadly, that seems like a distant prospect – for her, not so much for him.

  Right now, he has a beautiful woman on her fours screaming his name as he fucks her senseless. His grip on her waist tightens as her pulsing cunt throbs around him, showing the first signs of her orgasm. Townes reaches behind her, wrapping her fingers around his wrist as he violently thrusts inside her, skin slapping against skin, his long shaft reaching the perfect spot to make her gasp in pleasure.

“Harry, I-I... fuck I’m so close mhmm” she cries, leaning her head down but he pull it back up by the hair. Just a bit more, he’s close too, just a few more well placed thrusts and he cums, pushing all the way inside her. To help her get there, he humps in one more time, violently, making her lose balance. He keeps doing that and reaches between her legs to flick her pinky clit, causing her to scream in pleasure and tighten around him, her muscles tensing and twitching until she gives into her weight exhausted.

  Harry pulls out of her stretched cunt and removes the rubber, tying it on a knot before throwing it on the trashcan beneath the study. He turns to Townes, spread out in her bed and panting, the tingles of her orgasm still running through her veins. He climbs over her and strokes a few strands of hair out of her sweat drenched forehead, she eyes him and smiles tiredly.

“Hope you’re not passed out” he kisses her cheek and runs a teasing hand down her sides, “because I’m not done with you”

“Oh yeah?”

“I’m gonna fuck you all night” he whispers sensually on the shell of her ear. Olivia used to say a gentleman makes his lady cum three times before falling asleep beside her. Fuck... why did he remember her?

  He can recall vividly that time when she whispered those same words straddled across a fucked up post-orgasm version of him. The way her braids bounced on her shoulders while she rode him, her tongue sucking on his finger when she was about to cum, the way her dark skin rubbed against his fair one when fucked her from behind, hugging her warm body close, hearing her soft moans when he reaches that particular spot...

“Then we better get started” Townes replies, dragging him back to reality.

  At daybreak, Olivia wakes from her short nap with the sunlight creeping through the blinds Mitch forgot to close. She gets up a bit sore after playing with herself for most of the night to compensate for her loneliness, but she’s smiling nonetheless. Nothing like giving yourself some love to start the day with a bang. She hears knocks on the door and immediately try to lessen her grin.

“Come in” she yells and so Mitch walks in with swim shorts.

“Morning Oli” he greets.

“Good morning, Mitchie” she walks to hug his stiff self only to be reminded she’s only on her knickers and tank top. “We’re going swimming?” she tugs on his shorts.

“Yeah, we rented some stand up-paddles, do you wanna come?”

“Sure, but... aren’t we here to work?” she mocks, getting a bikini from her bag.

“We work after lunch, we’re not that lazy” he replies, walking back to where he came from as to let her change.

  Harry still hasn’t returned, confirming her theory that he got laid last night. Mitch says nothing and neither do the other guys, and she’s thankful for that. They’re on a break but it still stings that he’s getting some and she isn’t in anyway included in that.

  The party that walks to the beach takes lots of chairs, a cooler with foods and drinks, all that along with the stand up-paddle equipment. Back in her hometown – where beach outings are basically routine – things were simpler: she’d take only her bag and a silky towel to sit over, nothing more. While the guys establish themselves, she drops her bag with her silky towel and undresses.

“Harry just texted, he’s on his way” Ryan informs, “we better wait for him”

Oli and Mitch exchange an understanding look of tension, and she’s not in the mood for that. “Alright, I’ll just take a dip then. Mitch, you coming?”

“Yeah, he is” one of the men mock and the others tag along with laughter, messing with the tiny bikini she’s wearing.

“Very funny guys, can’t believe I’m stranded on this island with a bunch of 12-year-olds” he complains, walking along with Oli to the shoreline. She has no trouble walking in the sea but he refrains. “Too fucking cold”

She laughs at this stiffness. “I’ve got a trick for that...”

“Oh god...”

“You have to run and jump at once, no hesitation. Ready?”

“God no” he whimpers. She takes his hand anyways.

“On three. 1... 2... 3...” they run together until Mitch slips his hand out of her grasp and runs out of her reach, leaving her to play on the ocean alone. From a distance, he could mistake her for a mermaid, she’s just really at home swimming on the salty water. Thinking about it, this is the closest he’s ever seen her to her home, and that’s a privilege.

  On the sand, Harry walks in hand in hand with a blond girl none of the boys recognize. They smile and laugh in their bathing suits, carrying all the beach paraphernalia to join them. Instead of basking in his arrival, the men tense.

“Guys, this is Townes, she was in the club last night remember?” he introduces to the bunch, who stop preparing the paddles and boards to stand around awkwardly.

“Hi!” she waves shyly to the guys, who just nod embarrassedly.

“This is Mitch, he wasn’t in the club” he guides her to greet him and once again he’s also quite stiff.

“I love your hair” she comments, trying to break the ice.

“Thanks”

“It looks good, what did you put in there?” Harry strokes his hair and immediately the smell of coconut oil spreads in the air. It triggers him.

  He knows that smell, he would recognize it anywhere. How many nights did he fall asleep beside it and woke up to a pillow with that particular scent? It takes him back to nuzzling a silk sheet soaked with coconut oil, to sleepless nights when he would put her hair sheet back in place gently and pin it down so she wouldn’t wake up with messy roots – which made her very moody, as she turned out to be very vain. The smell brings everything about her back.

  Once he turns to the ocean his jaw falls agape. Few feet away from him is Olivia, the estranged love of his life, walking out of the ocean perfectly without even losing her balance, parading in a tiny and provocative bikini, twist rope braids framing her face beautifully. She smiles in his direction, not missing the presence of the other girl in the crew. The last thing she wants is to create an uncomfortable atmosphere where she wasn’t even invited, so she goes along with the ride. Who knows, the girl can be nice. She’s above letting a guy create discord between ladies.

“Oli... what are you doing here?” Harry rushes to close the distance and hug her wet body. This might be awkward but it doesn’t change the fact that he missed her. She laces his neck and squeezes him in a tight embrace before taking some distance to check him out.

“Mitch said you needed backup”

“Of course he did” he notices Mitch shrugging.  

“I guess I’m overstepping a bit” she comments between them while looking at Townes. Before he can think of a clumsy excuse, she makes a move to greet her. “Hi, I’m Olivia”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Townes” they smile at each other.

“Sorry, my hands are cold, the water is freezing” she plays a bit to break the ice while Harry shoots Mitch with a furious gaze.

“Don’t look at me like that, you were annoying me” Mitch crosses his arms over his chest, trying to keep his voice down.

“Then you though you could just call her here and be done with it?”

“That’s exactly what I though”

“Bloody hell...”

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d find another girl in one night” he excuses, watching Oli and Townes at a distance. “Maybe I lacked imagination”

“You did”

“Or, you know, in my brilliant mind I knew that if you just talked to her that’d give you the spark” Harry shakes his head dismissively, but slowly cuts the movement thinking he might have a point. “And since you wouldn’t call her-“

“Let’s go everyone, before the tides stop helping” one of the guys calls out.

“Are you coming?” Oli asks.

“No, I’ve got a flight to catch tonight, better pack up” she replies looking behind her, at where Harry and Mitch are arguing. “It was nice to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too” she smiles, hugs her quickly and leaves to get her paddles while Townes walks up to Harry. Oli watches from the corner of her eye the way they say their goodbyes, exchanging phone numbers, giggling, whispering in each other’s ears... she looks away and sighs, missing the times when she used to do the same. When she realizes the party is heading for the water, she picks her board and tags along.

“Harry, you coming?” Ryan asks.

“In a minute” he replies. Mitch hurries a bit with his materials to meet up with her.

“That went alright” he drops with a hint of irony.

“Shut up” she dismisses lightly with a chuckle.

  She lands the board over the water and calmly paddles through small waves, the sea is very gentle. When they pass the shore break, it’s just a matter of standing up and paddling through. Underneath her, she can se the fish swimming in groups, taking cover under the reef, around her she can see distant islands, popping from the light blue surface. The sun is yet to reach it’s peak so the heat isn’t unbearable, when she sits on the board and closes her eyes, it feels like home. The other guys make a circle far from her and mess around with each other, but she enjoys a little private moment – that is, until her ears catch the sound of water breaking on another surface and look around to find Harry watching her from his board.

For a moment, they speak nothing, just look at each other with a bit of heartache. “You changed your braids”

She smiles fondly. “You grew a stubble, finally” he laughs, “it looks good”

“So do you. But then again, when did you ever look bad?”

“Not a day in my life” she taunts smugly and they return to a more cheerful quietness.

“I’m sorry about Townes, I didn’t know you were coming” Harry breaks the silence.

“It was meant to be a surprise”

“It was a nice surprise, I’m still happy to see you” she smiles bittersweetly and looks down.

“No, you’re not”

“I am” she still averts his eye, so he holds her board and climbs over it, making her almost lose her balance while exhaustedly shaking her head. “It was just a one-night-stand”

“Harry... you don’t need to explain yourself to me, we’re not together anymore” she replies gently, not willing to take a trip down memory lane and reevaluate their whole history.

“So what? You’re still important to me” he presses. They were together for 5 years, few months ago they were engaged, of course he owes her at least the decency of candor.

“I knew this was a bad idea” she grunts, burying her head on her hands, before recomposing. “Look... I’m not here to get you back or mess up your love life, I’m here because we work great together and you need help-”

“And while we’re at it, we could figure out what’s going on between us” she notices some of the boys can hear them from afar so she slides closer to him.

“What’s going on is that you can’t live with the fact that I also have a career!”

“What?!”

“You heard me!” she huffs angrily, “I’m not a huge popstar, I have to work to get myself out there, I can’t quit everything and play dollhouse when you finally get some time off!”

“That’s not true-“ he objects.

“Then why the fuck did you come here? Without even telling me? Do you know the mess I was when I finally got home and you weren’t there?”

“I told you I wanted to go!”

“Wanting and planning are very different things!”

He chuckles humorlessly, “Alright, that’s fair. But before you went on tour I though we planned on getting married, or was that also a wish?”

“Fuck off, I was going to marry you. Don’t get clever with me”

They stand at an impasse. “I thought we made decisions together, love. The fact we both worked so well is what made me want to marry you in the first place”

“Do you still think about that?”

“Of course I do!” he takes her hand to grab her attention, “I spent 5 years of my life with you, I made loads of plans, do you think I could just forget that?”

“It sure seems so” she raises a brow.

“Do I need to pull a ‘we were on a break’ moment right here in the middle of the ocean?” she tries to hold it but it’s stronger than her. She laughs hysterically as Harry takes advantage of her openness to get closer. “Also, am I supposed to believe you haven’t shagged anyone in three months?”

“That...” she lifts a finger, “is true-“

“Knew it!”

“I was sad and horny, leave me alone!” she raises her voice and pushes his shoulder lightly.

“Who was it?”

“I’m not gonna tell you”

“Was it Matty?” she raises an eyebrow at him in disbelief.

“Really? That’s your first guess?”

“Come on, I need to know for professional purposes” he insists mockingly, “so I know who to diss in the album”

“You’re such a child” she rolls her eyes, “It was Andy”

“Who?”

“Andy, Andrew?” it doesn’t ring a bell, “Hozier?”

“Fuck no” he chuckles, trying to picture the logistics of this exchange. “He’s twice as tall as you!”

“It doesn’t matter... horizontally speaking” she smirks fairly proud of herself.

“Can’t believe you fucked ‘Take Me to Church’ guy” they both snort at the title while they both let their short-lived laughter fade naturally.

“You know what? I’m really happy that you came here” her smile dies to a smirk. Despite getting caught in all of that relationship conundrum, she’s still the funniest, loveliest, most tantalizing person he’s ever known. “I missed you”

“I missed you too” she replies.

He leans closer to her, invading a bit of her personal space but she doesn’t back away, “Can’t we just pick up from where we left? Forget about the wedding, the tours and everything, just stay with me?”

“Do you think that could work?”

“It better work, ‘cause you’re all I can think about love. It’s ridiculous, I’m coming up with a whole album about you-“

“Oh, you didn’t...” she shakes her head in disbelief.

“I had this plan to reach out after we went back home, maybe pick up the wedding plans and then give this album made of a bunch of silly love songs-” he mocks himself, rejoicing in the feeling of breaking through her walls.

“You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that?” she replies, tired of fighting against his persistence.

“I know” he leans to kiss her and she doesn’t shy away, just welcomes his cold lips against hers. He cups her cheek in a way his hand seems to fit perfectly, and it feels like a punch in the guts how perfect she feels against him. Townes is good, all the other girls he ever hooked up with were incredible people in their own way, but Oli is extraordinary. A kiss is not just a kiss, a touch is not just a touch, being with her is an art even when they don’t see eye to eye.

Olivia is the first to break the kiss. “We’re getting so predictable, why do we keep breaking up just to get back?” he laughs.

“‘Cause we’re not boring, love”

“Alright, but we gotta fix this communication thing” he nods vehemently. “Because I don’t know how many more years I can go on with that messy ‘now I’m here, now I’m there’ thing”

“I was thinking the same thing” he pecks the corner of her mouth, “See? Totally connected” he licks her cheek and in a spasm she pushes him in the water.

  The rest of the morning they spend on the ocean, even when the other guys retire to the manor. She lays on her board, back flat against the harsh surface and Harry sprawled over her, head on her chest, her legs sunk in the seawater to make room for him. If he was mad at Mitch earlier, he’s not anymore. Nothing in the world feels as peaceful as the soft rumbling of the ocean and her fingers running against his scalp. It’s almost torture when they have to leave, paddling back to the house and walking in everyone else’s lunch.

“Thank god you’re back, we have to work on something, anything Harry!”

“Alright, I’ll just get a shower and meet you in the studio” he replies, leading Olivia with a hand on her waist. Mitch’s gaze on them lingers a bit longer, as he soon comes to realize he had no chance to make a move. “Where did they put you?”

“Mitch’s”

“Why don’t you bring your stuff to my room?”

“Because I’m fucking lazy, that’s why” she mocks. “I’ll be there in a minute” before she pulls away, he holds her close and presses a lingering kiss against her lips, brushing his stubble against her chin.

“Ok” he untangles from her and walks in the opposite direction.

  Few minutes later, she drops her bag on the bed and looks around the luxurious bedroom. She takes particular notice on how distinctly Harry makes a room his own, leaving few clothes scattered but not in a messy way: some are folded over the table, some are draped over the chair’s backboard, everything is organized except for one of them which is just thrown over the bed. She picks the flowery blouse and it is a bit wet – it’s the one he was wearing at the beach, he probably carried it with wet hands – but she dresses it anyway, checking herself out in the mirror with it. It looks great, as often his clothes do, that’s why they often wore each other’s clothes, but there’s something strange. Inside the pocket, there’s a piece of paper.

She’s got a family in Carolina

So far away but she says I remind her of home

She’s got a book for every situation

Gets sent to parties without invitation

There’s not a drink that I think could sink her

How would I tell her that she’s all I think about?

  Oli puts the paper back in the pocket and muffles a gasp. If she came to help him write songs, she’s awfully late. Something in her stomach turns and she feels like an alien in the room, in fact, an alien in the house. Completely out of place.

  She doesn’t mention the paper when he leaves the bathroom, nor at lunch, nor at the writing session where he also doesn’t bring that up. The tension of that unnamed subject plagues her all day as she fears the moment it will rise so much that she wants it to happen soon and be done with it. So, later in the evening, after they all retire to their chambers, she addresses it.

Harry is helping her to dry the braids with a towel, one by one, while they watch a silly romcom. With her cross-legged between his legs, he notices her mind isn’t really at it. “You’re strangely not-chatty today, what happened? Am I... rushing a bit?”

“No... That’s not it, it’s just... I’m sorry Harry, I wasn’t sneaking, I tried on your shirt and I found something...” she vaguely explains but recognition immediately dawns on his face.

“Right... about that-“

“You should take it to the guys” she interrupts, turning between his legs to face him. “It could be good”

“You’re not mad about it?”

“Who cares if I’m mad? It’s your album!”

“Yes, but are you mad about it?”

She huffs, opting for the truth. “I am, but it’s not what you’re probably thinking!”

“I’m thinking that it’d be awkward to help your fiancée write a song about another person” he argues, knowing better than to assume she’s jealous or petty or that she feels replaced. Olivia might have changed, but the foundations are still the same, and he knows her architecture by heart. She’s not jealous at all, she often taunts him about both of them being with other people, she never objected to his affairs with Victoria Secret models – she often participated on them –, so it’s quite far fetched to believe she’s jealous of Townes.

“Alright, it is what you’re probably thinking” he smiles smugly, leaning against the bed’s backboard. She picks on his hand earnestly. “Be honest with me”

“Always” he toys with their intertwined fingers.

“Do you want me to go home?” he ponders for a while, trying to examine his feelings and finding the perfect answer.

“I want a piece of you in the album” he explains, leaving the backboard and adjusting himself in the cushions until she’s on breathing distance. “I want to write that one song that, when I’m onstage about to perform it I have to give a bit of backstory about you, and about how this song was made” she smiles fondly, reaching to stroke his sweet cheeks while she drowns on his love drunk eyes. “After that, you pack your stuff and get the fuck out of here-“

She pushes his face away but he holds her close, trying to kiss her despite the resistance. “Yeah? And after I get the fuck out you can write about that pretty American girl you hooked up with”

“Deal”

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Masterlist

#carolina #harrystyles #harry styles #harry #hs1 #hs2 #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfics #fanfic #hs1era #hs2era #one direction #one direction imagine #one direction fanfiction #one direction fanfic #one direction fanfics #harry styles one shot #harry styles one shots #who is olivia #harry styles anthology series #harry styles angs #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles x oc

[ficclique]

Fic Clique hosts choices for our top fics of the decade - as featured in our Minisode from Jan 3rd. 

Brenna’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter (BTS) 

2018, 39k, Yoongi/Jin 

The biggest gut-punch I’ve ever felt from a character confession. The Jin of this fic has stuck with me every day since reading it. This fic examines sexuality in a way that made me feel seen & I love that.

Timeshare by Astolat (HP) 

2016, 14k, Draco/Harry 

This is sort of a stand-in for all of astolat’s drarry fic, which as a bundle are one of my top fics for the decade. They are fics that feel like instant-classics and the variety of characterizations, stories and tropes helped establish astolat as perhaps my all time favorite fic author. Timeshare won out above the others because it’s one of the fics that helped us decide to do this podcast! Thank you Timeshare! 

Top 5 picks: 

The Student Prince, by Fayjay (Merlin)

2010, 145k, Merlin/Arthur

A fic that has defined fanfiction for me. Perhaps the fic that first convinced me to love fanfiction. Something I keep coming back to and have reread numerous times. Funny, heartfelt, just different enough from the canon versions of characters. Perhaps the only University AU I will ever fully love. 

The Love Song of the North American Douchebag, by Gyzym (Star Trek RPF)

2013, 25k, Chris/Zach

If you want to hear me (and my lovely co-hosts) discuss this fic in depth, then I recommend listening to Episode 6! However, one of our listeners also submitted this as a top fic of the decade, so I’m going to add what the lovely Scout said: 

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!”

Not Easily Conquered (series), by dropdeaddream & whatarefears (MCU)

2015, 117k, Steve/Bucky 

An incredibly, precise, gut-wrenching trilogy. Each part is astounding both together and apart. A devastating exploration of love and dedication. One of those fics that created a Fandom Moment. I sobbed through the entirety of part 2 when I first read it. Womb to tomb, sweetheart. 

Azoth by zeitgeistic (HP)

2013, 88k, Draco/Harry 

A stunning exploration of magic beyond JKR’s universe. A timeless coming together of two characters. A frankly genius use of a plot device (and something as simple as a school project) to foster an incredibly touching and meaningful relationship, one in which they are not able to find what they need to complete their task until they find what they need in each other.  ALCHEMY BABY! 

Honeysuckle Arch by junkshopdisco (1d) 

2015, 46k, Niall/Harry 

Perhaps the most I’ve ever related to a character in fic. The Niall of this fic lives in my heart, and I feel like reading him helps me understand myself, and everytime I come back to it I understand him better too. It’s a touching portrayal of a character coming to terms with their sexuality in a way that feels completely grounded and who is surrounded by characters who love them, even if they don’t always know how to show it. 

Nicole’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Protostellar by ninamondays 

bts, 64k, pub 2019, Namjoon/Jungkook & Taehyung/Jimin

Space, cryogenics, fate, reincarnation, class struggles, revolution, climate change, character death. Having hope is punk rock. Processing grief is a slow and ugly process. [deep breath] Have I ever felt so profoundly touched by a fic while I was reading it?

the other thing by cornfields 

hockey rpf, 16k, pub 2015, Jamie/Tyler

An absolutely unflinching look at personal accountability and internalized homophobia. What happens when your self-hatred has collateral damage? It’s about healing but it’ll fucking hurt first. Bleached out vibes. Makes texas feel very big, and the world feel very, very small. A story I’d only trust a fic author to tell.

Top 5 picks: 

Murmuration by fringecity (indiachick) 

bts, 167k, pub 2018, Yoongi/Jimin/Taehyung

Film noir/murder mystery meets gritty sci fi and superpowers. Everyone is morally gray. You Will sob about Kim Taehyung. A masterclass in plot. Felt like a trilogy all wrapped tightly into one fic. A kaleidoscope. An unfurling. This fic mesmerizes.

The River and the Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure 

1d, 70k, pub 2016, Harry/Niall

Dark tower au, but only technically. Makes me want to believe in the multiverse. An arid western, a sideways coming of age story, an elegy. The first time I’ve ever cried because an ending was perfect.

the undiscovered country by indigostohelit

hamlet, 56k, pub 2014, Hamlet/Horatio

What else can I say about this fic. What else can I Fucking say.

(note: we discuss this fic at length during episode 5) 

All Things Shining by Askance and standbyme

spn, 142k, pub 2013, Dean/Castiel & Sam/ofc

A story about miracles. Literary as hell, with long luxuriant scenes that never drag. Masterful characterization. The thing I wanted from spn fic—connection, plot, and a fic that not only can handle the lore of the show, but is willing to expand upon it.

Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark

1d, 95k, pub 2013, Louis/Harry

Hunger games crossover. Doesn’t just use the other fandom for setting, but entirely inhabits it. I had to stop partway through my reread because I knew I’d have nightmares, but this fic never stops hoping. Trauma is not an ending. This fic is certain of that the whole way through.

Reid’s Choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

songs from the ash, by explosivesky, 2017

Critical Role, Percy/Vex, Keyleth/Vax, 54k, WIP (sort of)

rockstar/movie star AU 

A fantastic example of how fic can just standalone as really good original fiction. A lovingly rendered, devastating and beautifully crafted portrait of four broken people doing their best to navigate through their lives and around one another. 

delta, by sharpa, 2019

BTS, rapline ot3, 60k

What happens when you’re a public figure who gets unwillingly outed, and two people you used to love reach out to offer you sanctuary? You make Reid cry, that’s what. 

Top 5 picks: 

Salt on the Western Wind by Saras_Girl, 2013

Harry Potter, drarry, 60k

Immediately post war, bond

It represents a lot of what I was looking for when I started really getting into Drarry fic, which was an exploration of what canon wouldn’t give me. My favorite Drarry fics have always been the ones that let them dig into their shared trauma, and while this fic isn’t the heaviest one I’ve read, I think the fact that it’s set literally hours after the Battle of Hogwarts ends lends itself well to that concept. I couldn’t have a list of the decade without a Drarry fic, tbh.

The Great Sealand Takeover, by whalehuntingboyfriends, 2015

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, ot6 (gavin, michael, ray, geoff, ryan, jack), 365k

FAHC

When I think about fics that set the standard for a fandom, this is one of the first ones that comes to mind. This fic means a lot to me because it was my introduction to RPF, and in addition to its intricate plot and fandom-constructed lore, also was a take on poly relationships and found families in a way I had never experienced before, with themes of belonging and a love that transcends typical convention.

The Twice-Told Tale by arysteia, 2012

Marvel, steve/tony, 15k

This fic hits a sweet spot for me where it does have some of that 2012 tower-fic nostalgia, but I also think it holds up well in terms of what I (and fandom) find so fascinating about Tony, which is all this grief and trauma that he struggles so hard to process, and the way puts himself at the center of attention to obfuscate the fact that he keeps everyone at a long arm’s length.

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, by Shoshanah-ben-hohim, 2015

Hockey, Sid/Geno, Canon Divergent, 77k

& the whole series, including There is a Field, I’ll Meet You There, Alex Galchenyuk/Olli Maata, 131k

When I think about this fic I want to scream from every rooftop I’ve ever been on “please read this fic”. The way it weaves together details to provide a level of grounding and realism in what sounds like the most absurd concept for a fic just floors me. The empathy and compassion and fear in this fic just gets at the most tender parts of my heart, and the fact that it’s ostensibly a ship fic, and yet Sid and Geno spend nearly the entire fic with no communication, but instead are just holding on to the innate truth that they know about one another to get them through this crazy endeavour they’re on elevates the entire fic for me.

what comes after, by poppyseedheart, 2018

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, mavinseg (gavin, meg, michael, lindsay), 36k

Dystopia/Spy AU

When I first read this fic, I finished it and I put it down and then I spent a few days feeling like I was just sort of wandering around in a haze because every single thought was consumed by this fic. In addition to its impeccable worldbuilding and the tone work that it does with its setting, I don’t know that I had ever resonated so deeply with fic characters before. Reading this felt like someone had pried my ribcage open one by one and revealed the softest, most tender parts of me and then went “I’m going to write something that targets this.” This fic is an ode to loss and love, to mourning something that you once had and then hesitantly and clumsily opening yourself up to building something new, and recognizing that, impossibly, that new thing you built can somehow be better than what you had before. 

And I felt all of these things, I felt like my world had just been shattered by this new author I discovered… and then, somehow, I became her friend. Then through Nic I met Brenna, and now when I think about this fic I not only love it for being a work of art, but also for being representative of the thing that brought me to two of the most important people in my life, and that to me will always make it my favorite fic I’ve ever read.

#fic clique #fic recs #multifandom #minisode #fics of the decade

[bambigoose]

Doing Just Fine

An: This has been edited after posting. Thank you to those that reached out to help me correct the ranking changes throughout the story.

Hanscom Air Force Base, Massachusetts 2013

Staff Sergeant Jessica Ham exited the executive office of Command, Control, Communications, Intelligence and Networks located on base completely unsure how to tell her airmen deployment was inevitable. The 66th Air Force Group would be oversees shortly after the New Year. Locking eyes with her fellow Staff Sergeant, Andrews, before placing her head into her hands with a sigh, “Give them the next few hours. If we tell them before this visit it’ll hang over everything and ruin everyone’s time.”

Sergeant Andrews nodded along with Jessica’s call, “I’m going to send out word about a meeting before we all head out for the day. You want me to schedule the other room for you and your boys?”

“Yeah.” Jessica nodded at him before they went their separate ways. Three years ago, at eighteen, Jessica graduated high school. With no idea what to do with the rest of her life, and a lack of financial means to go to college while attempting to figure it out, Jessie as her friends call her attended a military interest conference at her school.  The Air Force was never something she had previously considered, but after a discussion with an intelligence officer her interest was piqued. The rest as one might say was history. In the course of the past four years she’d busted her ass to prove she could handle it and the rank recognition followed. Clearly her superiors trusted her; Jessica was in charge of one of the largest groups of airmen of any Sergeant. Trust among her men however was a little harder to earn, but once she had it Jessica quickly came to the realization there were plenty of men she was now stuck with for the rest of her life.

Moving quickly through the base, nodding quickly but politely at those who acknowledged her, Jessica rushed to the base entrance. Generals didn’t care what news you were given, you showed up when expected or your ass is reamed. After the previous news of the day so far, that would officially send her into a tailspin pulled by currents. Approaching the group and falling into line Jessica took a moment to observe their guests.

The 2012-2013 Boston Bruins were a formidable team, growing up in Southie rooting for the black and gold was a fact of life. Jessica was pretty sure she knew how to explain the offsides rule before she could do simple addition. An electric energy surged through the base when knowledge of their visit began to spread. The veterans, Patrice Bergeron, Andrew Ference, Shawn Thornton, and Milan Lucic would thrill the long term fans. Young guns Brad Marchand and Tyler Seguin would flirt through half of the medical division before the day was out she was sure and rookie Dougie Hamilton was making quite a name for himself at nineteen as a solid defenseman.

“Is he always doom and glow like that?”

Jessica heard behind her. Turning she was meet with the six foot six frame of Dougie Hamilton. Years ago the hairs on the back of her neck would have been standing up, now she yelled at men twice his size half the day and knew for a fact she threw a better punch then  every member of the team. Smirking Jessica couldn’t resist the urge to chirp, she’ll forever blame it on being surrounded by guys day in and day out, “I imagine he and coach Julien would get along, I mean he screamed at you for how long after fanning on that shot last game.”

“Ouch Dougie, not impressing the pretty girl.” Seguin chirped with a smug smirk a head of them.

“I don’t know Mr. Seguin, at least Dougie here knows what an alarm clock is.” Jessica snapped back almost immediately after watching Dougie deflate as Tyler attempted to pull him down. Seguin’s eyes widened as Jessica dead stared at him; a move those under her have repeatedly said is increasingly unnerving. He turned quickly, shoulders pulled up to his ears while Jessica nudged Hamilton next to her.

He stood just a little straighter after her quip. Leaning in quietly, “I know you’re a rookie kid, but there’s a difference between being a doormat and becoming one of the guys.”

“And I suppose pretty girl is an expert?” Hamilton responded smiling, eyes crinkling, and an eyebrow raised.

“Pretty girl has name. Staff Sergeant Jessica Ham. Besides, do you really think there’s that much of a difference between military barracks and hockey locker rooms?” She responded in similar fashion.  

Laughing he responded “Probably not.”

Smiling while shoving him forward, “Go entertain my men rookie.”

Throughout the rest of the afternoon, Jessica watched her men and the Bruins interact. Spirits we high and she could feel the weight of this afternoon's meeting beginning to feel like a physical pressure on her chest. Inhaling deeply but still feeling like she couldn’t breathe Jessica headed toward the doors before her panic attack could start. Never realizing there were concerned eyes following her progression across the room, before he rose to follow her.  

Briskly moving out the door and around the building, Jessica sank down against the wall. Pulling her knees up to her chest and gasping for air. Jumping as someone sank down into a squat in front of her, Jessica looked up at Dougie, concern shining in his eyes. “Hey pretty girl, breathe.” Attempting to match her breath to his, the pressure on her chest finally felt like it was loosening. Dougie smiled, rubbing up his hands up and down her upper arms. “There we go.”

Rubbing her face, Jessica visibly flinched before lowly spilling everything to a relative stranger. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell them. This excitement and good spirits you all brought to base will be erased before they all go home. We’re shipping out in February. I know we all joined the military but it never seemed like this was going to happen.”

Dougie’s eyes went wide, practically bulging out of his head. “I’m sorry.” Instinctively left his mouth, “There’s nothing I can say that’ll make this better I don’t think.”

Sighing, Jessica rose back to her feet. “No there’s not but I appreciate the attempt.” Pulling his elbow and heading back towards the rec hall, “Better get back in there while I can still pass this off has taking a phone call.”

Dougie planted his feet and pulled them to a stop right outside the door. “I can’t make it better, but I could take you out for a distraction this weekend.”

“You do remember the shipping out in a few months part of our conversation, right.” She replied, waving her finger around in a circle between them like it was going to rewind his memory.

“Well, I figure I’d be pretty stupid to let that stop me from asking out the pretty lady Sergeant.”

“I can meet you at Faneuil Hall, Friday at seven? We can go from there Rookie.” She says, throwing her hip into his like a mini check.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, taking a chance and dropping a kiss on her cheek he hoped would be well received. “Sounds like a plan, Jessica.”

Over her shoulder while walking through the door, “Friends and cute boys taking me on a date can call me Jessie.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Saddledome, Calgary Alberta Canada 2017

Sergeant Jessica Ham smiled walking through the under belly of the Saddledome. Granted a short furlough she came to surprise her boyfriend of almost three years after his game versus the Bruins. As luck would have it, she remained close with many members of the Bruins and their wives after Dougie signed with Calgary and during her deployment. When her furlough back at Hanscom came up she took it immediately, the fact that the Bruins were heading to Calgary at the same time. Coach Cassidy had graciously allowed her to tag along with the boys on the plane, though she suspected it might have something to do with Stephanie badgering Patrice to make it happen. It was nice to see some of the boys again and meeting some of the newbies.

Feeling stares on her, Jessica just continued on with a smile. The pass Zdeno presented her with before the game wrapped around her neck, clinking every step against her dog tags. Pulling up outside of the locker room she leaned against the wall anxiously waiting for Dougie to appear. She didn’t have to wait long. Dougie was the next person out of the locker room, “Jessie.” Gasped out of him in surprise, “What are you doing here?”

 Eyebrows furrowed, Jessica was surprised. That was his reaction? They hadn’t seen each other in almost a year. Writing it off as maybe just shock, she stepped forward to hug him. His arms barley wrapped back around her. “I was granted furlough for a few days, figured I’d come out for a surprise. They boys let me tag along on the team plane.”

“Babe!” A voice explained from behind Jessica. A blonde little bit of a thing, in sky high heels with make-up caked on her face brushed past Jessica before throwing herself into Dougie’s arms and laying a kiss on him. Separating the definition of puck bunny asked Dougie who this was.  

Jessica smirked at Dougie, laughing harshly. “I’m an old friend for Boston. Figured since the boys were out here I’d tag along to see mister big shoot, but it was nice to see you Douglas. I better get going so I don’t miss the bus.” Turning on her heel and all but sprinting down the hall Jessica ignored all calls of her name while losing Dougie in the after game commotion. Crashing into the Bruins newbies Sean Kuraly and Jake DeBrusk while staring at the ground, she looked out at them as they both went white. Yells left them both for Z, Bergy, and Marchy. It was the longest plane ride of the season for the bruins and to this day the only one where the unassigned assigned seats were blatantly ignored as the veterans crowded the Lieutenant in the back.  

 —————————————————————————————————————————---

2019 PNC Arena Raleigh North Carolina

Dougie Hamilton was furious, down four to nil in the third period he could feel his teams Stanley Cups hopes exiting them. Coming to the realization that there run was over it became apparent that they would do everything they could to rough up the Bruins instead. Not all that difficult of a task for him. The resentment he felt for the team grew every time they played each other. He blamed them for the disaster end of his relationship with Jessie, added on to the pitiful offer they made him to resign the anger was real. Scrumming with Sean Kuraly in front of the net was a natural progression. The refs separated them while Chris Wagner braced Kuraly to make sure he didn’t hit the ice, not that Dougie saw. He was to focused on the silver rectangles that popped out of Kuraly’s jersey before he quickly removed his glove and made sure they were secured underneath it again.

Dougie saw white, “Are you serious dude!” he exclaimed trying to puss Jordan Staal out of his way to jump Kuraly.

Kuraly’s eyes light up at the chance, “She’s doing great man!” he yelled out taking his seat on the bench.

The laughter of some of the Bruins ringing in his ears, Dougie’s eyes cut to where some of the Bruins wags were seated that he noticed earlier. His eyes were met by the infamous dead stare. Dougie gulped before she disconnected their eyes as the buzzer rang. Instead she was smiling as Stephanie Bergeron through her arms around her. Blowing a kiss out towards the ice, Dougie was forced to watch as Sean Kuraly laughed and waved back at her.

Master Sergeant Jessica Hamm, the future Mrs. Sean Kuraly if the shine the light of the arena caught coming from her left hand wasn’t just his imagination, was doing just fine.   

#nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl hockey #nhl imagines #dougie hamilton #dougie hamilton imagine #carolina hurricanes #canes #carolina hurricanes imagine #calgary flames #calgary flames imagine #boston bruins imagine #boston bruins #bruins #sean kuraly #sean kuraly imagine

[zcldrizes-a]

𝟏𝟓𝟎𝟎+ 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫. okay, the first thing i’m going to ask is... are you all lost? do you feel okay? if you had asked me back in 2017 when i made my blog, i would have told you that this happening would have literally been something beyond...all comprehension to me. the day or so after i made my blog, i remember someone posting a 1500 follow forever, and i was like...that will never be me. i will never ever have that many followers. and honestly, that was fine with me because it’s never been about the numbers, it’s always been about the writers and the plots and the threads. but to check my blog days ago and see that i had hit this milestone? that threw me so much it’s not even funny.

as a thank you for this, i’ll be picking a handful of people who like or reblog this to message randomly with little thank you gifts. i’ve never been hugely incredible at editing ( as seen by the fact this gif is heavily edited from the original one here ), so i’ve always been pretty conservative with what i put out there for the general rpc - but this is just going to be a little thank you from me to anyone who has supported me for a single day even, on this blog, to show what it means to me to have that kind of support.

i can honestly say i have never felt so at home on a roleplaying account before, on here or any other platform, and this has become my home to me. i’m still excited to check in every single day to see what’s happening, and whenever i get a notification, and that speaks volumes to me. thank you for giving me a chance to share this incredible character’s story, and for trusting me to do her justice, and supporting me as i do. thank you, for loving me. ♡

⋰ ♡ 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔, 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒚 :

@killthebxy​ : i was going to say none of these would be in any type of order, but that’s a lit, because this first one is without a doubt the most important to me. and i don’t say that because you are my jon, and i don’t say that because of all our many plots and verses, i say that because you, fil, are the very best friend i think i’ve ever made through any kind of place on here. you are the person who reminds me to breathe when i forget how, and the person who holds me together when i fall apart. you are the person who makes me laugh on the good days and the bad, and you know by know exactly what you mean to me. when i first started this blog, you were one of the first to follow me, and you’ve supported me ever since, and i cannot thank you enough for that. thank you for being a part of my life, and thank you for existing. i love you, to the moon and back.

@arcusignis : i think i said most of this the other day but i really cannot believe i went so long without having you in my life. i’ve let you down before as a friend, but please just know that losing you as a friend only made me realise how much harder i would fight to keep that from ever happening again. you, individually, are one of the most stunning people i have ever met, and there will never come a day where i forget to remind you of that. i love you, and i love your fiery smol, and i will never let you forget it again.

@tymptir / @archcr : oh god, this is going to be a big one for me. hannah, you were the first person ever to give me a chance on here. back on day #1 of my blog, when my graphics were atrocious and my icons were terrible, and my tags were a mess, and everything was a work in progress. somehow, you saw through all of it to give me a shot, and quickly became my favourite person to write with. even now, i know that no matter what we plot and write together, it’s going to be beautiful. more than that, i genuinely love that we can talk about anything, whether it be your psycho cat whom i literally plan to steal, or discussing the gym, literally anything, i love our daily chats and they make my day. thank you for being the first person to give me a chance, and thank you for being in my life. please never leave it, because i don’t think i’d know what to do.

@perzyr : you had to know you’d get a mention, didn’t you? literally for all of the late night headcanon chats, the endless jokes about my children vision and rhubarb, the fact you are the only person always ready to hear me ramble about dany’s dragons at any given time. you are one of the most creative people i’ve ever met - and the only person willing to throw such thought into not just one type of magical creature, but every type that no one has thought about developing, creatures from all verses and timelines and just. daisy, you are so stunningly imaginative, and i love that i get to share a bit of that creativity and incorporate it into my muse, because i couldn’t without you.

@aeksicn / @clippedwingsx / @bogxgirl : so as i type this, you’re currently asking why you’re awake, and i’m encouraging you to stay up, and if this doesn’t describe us, i don’t know what else will. let alone the fact you have a starter meme list of stupid things we’ve said. you have become one of the most stable presences in my life over the past few years, and i thank whatever god exists for bringing you into my life. thank you for following me here, for taking this journey on here with me, and for inspiring me every step of the way with everything you do. for always being ready to listen when i need it, and for being there even when i don’t know that i do. i’m so happy you’re here.

@beasteaten / @sinsburnt : admittedly, i can’t take the credit for you being here, but the same sentiment applies. we’ve now known each other longer than i’ve known anyone on here, i think, and i think sometimes it’s easy to forget just how long you’ve been in my life because i genuinely can’t remember a time where i didn’t know you. i’m so happy you’ve found a home in octavia, and that you bring such a life to her, and that you endure every single one of my got rants even though we both know i go into way too many of them. ride or die, til the end, and if i let myself say much more than that, i’ll be going on forever, let’s be honest. thank you for loving me, and thank you for always being there.

@wolfqueennamedstark & @lifesevered & @scldsouls : i’m going to group you all together here, because i have the same thing to say to both of you, and since stark sisters and all ( except ruth but shh you’re adopted anyway ), we’re doing it. you are all so special to me in a way that i can’t even explain, but please just know that i think you’re all beautiful. on the good days, on the bad days, on a rainy day or a day of sunshine, i think you’re all amazing and good and kind and people who i genuinely am so proud to say i have in my life as friends. i hope that never changes, because i can’t imagine being here without any of you now that i’ve found you.

@rebxrnbyfire : i’m not going to say everything here, because you know what i would say for the most part, but what i will say is this : in such a short time frame, you have become one of the most important people on here to me, and i will never stop being grateful for the fact you were brought into my life. not just on roleplay, but you, the person behind the scenes, who makes me smile and laugh and cry and never gives me a reason to doubt myself. i know we’ve had some shaky times in the past, and i’m so happy they’re all behind us now, because i cherish you beyond what words could ever say. i love you more than i can express, and i hope you know how special you are.

@naathborn : all i think when i think of you is that one gif you always seem to spam me with, to be honest, but isn’t that so descriptive of our friendship? you make me smile and laugh so much, beth, and in the same way missandei is so important to daenerys, and in the same way emilia and nathalie dance to beyonce, you are my absolute better half on here. i love you, and i don’t think there’s ever been a single interaction of ours that hasn’t left me in tears of laughter or smiling all over. you are a genuine ray of sunshine, and i really just love you more than words can express.

@alldaddy : okay, so, i do not tell you how much i love and appreciate you enough, but you were one of the first people i really started shipping with on here. and though tumblr doesn’t see it much, we know how much we’ve developed dany and odin, and how much life we’ve breathed into them, and they make me happy. and maybe that’s why i forget to say it sometimes - because it hasn’t even occurred to me that there could ever be a world where you don’t know how loved you are, because i love you so much, and dany loves odin so much, and i just really don’t want you to ever doubt it. you, behind the scenes, are so talented and beautiful, and i love you. i’m thankful to know you.

the filgate squad : aka @tolvys / @sapphireoath & @exilekniight & @thesellsword / @thedolorous & @aeliell : okay, you’re all grouped in together because we dragged each other into the pits of hell, and now we’re staying here. with the exception of vic, i haven’t really gotten to know any of you until recently, and i really love that this has now become my little family? like i can message any one of you and know it’ll have me crying of laughter. let alone that damn voice chat that descended into the depths of hell faster than season 8′s ratings plummeted after the finale, where you all heard me quite literally unable to breathe from laughing so much. more than that, on the bad days, i know i have my own little queensguard ready to fight, and please just know that in turn, i would fight and die for any single one of you. i love you all, more than words can ever express, and now that we’re all sitting in the inferno together, you’re all stuck with me.

⋰ ♡ 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 :

@killthebxy / @automaiiiled, @arcusignis / @ardholen, @tymptir / @archcr, @wolfqueennamedstark , @perzyr , @exilekniight , @beasteaten / @sinsburnt , @clippedwingsx / @aeksicn / @bogxgirl , @lifesevered , @rebxrnbyfire / @silentshadcw, @naathborn , @deltiitnu / @withanarmy / @wildfireyes, @ofimaginarybeings , @satincrow , @longmayshereignxcersei , @alldaddy , @estoires / @initiare , @ashccra / @tyrxshisword , @boltxnbastard , @eldingaesir , @wolfcrownd , @needlcd , @russetwolf , @breakercfchains , @valyrianflame , @scldsouls , @thedolorous / @thesellsword , @sapphireoath / @tolvys , @faunabones , @talltalkr

⋰ ♡ 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒅𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅, 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒓.

@fifthbornforrester &&, @crowncdcrow , @moreastark , @killtherxven , @ghostdirewolfe , @bolnav , @epheemere , @badinvcstmcnt , @rhaegxr , @reekcd , @dornishdrxgon , @qeldliie , @crownedclaw , @vaedar , @agirlingrey , @avestaproduction , @aeliell , @notintime , @fircandfury , @honnleathrose , @witandwine , @bloodablaze , @handofhonor , @theeldestsun , @murroyilodel , @timeripe , @wineinthewidow , @gulldrengur , @akingslayerx , @chevalier-de-la-fleurs , @sadisticatcd , @runegiven , @nctbitten , @chalceus , @revxurxharley , @musenssang , @dorzalti , @jernhjerte , @kaerinio , @reignfyre , @inbooks , @honorbound-dawn , @eversoblack , @ragsandrocks , @komtrkru , @crownedjust , @bythelotus , @cognoscente , @freydisi , @seasworth , @winterslcdy , @helenaiism , @pridefulroots , @ordinaryxgentleman , @ercgon , @allthosevoices , @bloodofdrxgons , @steel-winter-rose , @notenoughmuses , @nxrthborn , @wcmansweapcn , @ilvecchiio , @multimentium , @azhefa , @blodistridi , @weightofmyshield , @ofjordayne , @agirlofwinterfell  , @balerios , @serbriennecftarth , @drakrys , @winteruin , @hesquired , @regardsent , @dragetunge , @vaettiir , @brycecousland , @solemvictrix , @targreign , @impiae , @misplacedheroics , @rhaegail , @songgave , @sonofpendragon , @bearskeep , @alordnamedsnow , @viaminvenia , @effervescentsoulstm , @trnslatr , @bonebaker , @stoleforher , @ofwintcrfell , @lavendervcined , @soldativre , @thecomplication , @goldenwitted , @blckwiidcw , @zharvossi , @goldcncrown & i hope i didn’t forget anyone but honestly those i love should hopefully know who they are!

#this may be my longest one yet but #follow forever #thank you all so much #this honestly just blows my mind #i love you all #to pieces

[wongpuppy]

MOMENTS I, johnny seo

➵ Rating a lot of angst + fluff

➵ Pairing bestfriend!Johnny x Y/N

➵ Word count 2.8k [ part I + part II ]

➵ Summary you fell in love with bestfriend!Johnny in a series of moments

January 12th, 2019 

It was 5:45pm and your apartment windows were pulled open, a chilly breeze passing through the living room. 

The first thing that wakes you up is the sound of an explosion. Slowly, you draw your eyes open and the first thing you see is a chest slowly moving up and down, clad in a gray hoodie. You then feel a set of fingers lightly drawing shapes across the spread of your back. You swallow thickly, your skin feeling almost hypersensitive to the touch. 

Looking up, you feel your throat close at the familiar sight of a man's neck, the same clean-cut jawline, the flawless caramel skin. You feel like you’re in some sort of daze, watching the movies bright lights play against Johnny’s skin. 

Johnny was--is your best friend, the closest to you of them all. Even if you both met in freshman year, only four years later and it feels like it’s been decades. 

But ever since Johnny broke up with Ruby and things between Sehun and you went sour two years ago, you’ve been thrown into a series of moments that you couldn’t really explain. 

At some point, the screen casts a beaming yellow and bright orange. 

You watch the glowing warm colors cast upon Johnny’s face and you feel speechless. He looks like a vision, a sight to behold. His caramel skin drank in the warmth from the TV, washed in yellow light. 

He looked golden and it made something deep inside your chest pull. 

Beautiful. In that moment, you looked at Johnny as if he invented the word himself, as if the word belonged to only him.

“Hey there, sleepy head.” Johnny looks down at you with a soft smile. “Are you hungry? I ordered us some burgers.” 

You think about how the two of you, well, cuddled at the moment. He laid on his right side in front of you, head resting on the couches side armrest. Your head lays on his left arm whilst his right goes around your waist to draw circles on your back. Legs intertwined, and even if you know the two of you’ve done this a lot of times before, Johnny’s face and skin was still a bright golden yellow and this moment felt so different. 

Electrifying. 

The yellow must’ve only been there for 5 seconds, but it’ll last in your mind for ages. You didn’t know what it was. In those short few seconds, your favorite color went from loving blue your whole life to yellow. It was like it was all you could see now. 

“I’m starving, if you can’t finish it all, leave it for me.” 

Why isn’t this weird to him? You think to yourself. Oh right, its because to him, you were just Y/N, his best friend.  

“That’s real cute, Y/N.” Johnny shakes his head, lopsided smirk still evident on his face. You feel his hands smooth over the skin of your back lightly. “And you missed Star Trek.” 

Turning your head around, you watch the credits fly up the screen. You turn back to him (missing the fact that he was already staring at you with a smile) and shrug. You ignore the yearning your eyes have to scan across his face and watch his hair move across his forehead from the breeze. “It was the most recent one, which I watched already. The first was definitely the best.” 

Johnny and you were a lot more opposite than similar in personality, but the one thing the two of you bonded over were movies and cinematography. But that also allowed for many, many debates about the best movies and shows.

“You’re lucky you’re my best friend.” Johnny rubs his hands up and down your back and it’s hard for you to concentrate on just listening to what he’s saying. “I would’ve kicked you out if you weren’t.” 

The way he looks down at you when he utters best friend makes your stomach knot, how his eyes soften just the slightest bit. The both of you hold each others gaze for a moment and the look in his eyes look almost like yours. 

For a second, you catch onto the way his eyes dim a little, across his honey brown iris’ before it was gone. 

Johnny holds onto you for a second before there’s a knock on the door. He squeezes you slightly before climbing over you with a cheeky grin. 

“That’s the burgers. Which you will only eat yours and I will finish all of mine.” 

November 22nd, 2017 - 9:34pm

“Y/N, come help me with setting the table!”

You sigh at the sound of your mom’s voice, caught up in the game of Guitar Hero with your cousin, Will, in the living room. 

“Sorry, bud. I’ll be back in 10, and I’ll kick your ass again.” 

He scoffs but laughs anyway, continuing to play Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” without you. 

You set the other guitar down and walk out of the living room and through the hall to the dining room. Before you walk through the room, you catch something in the corner of your eye. 

You turn to the left were the hall opens up to bedrooms and you heart squeezes at the sight. 

Johnny holds your 4 year old cousin, Angela’s, hands and dances with her to the Aerosmith song Will played on Guitar Hero. He had a boyish grin on his face and the artificial lights made his eyes twinkle just like stars. Angela’s baby laughs fills up the hallway, Johnny’s coming in right after. 

He holds Angela and twirls her in circles, his smile lifting whenever she’d squeal in delight. Johnny felt like he could do this forever, spurred on with every happy shriek she would let out. 

You didn’t know what was going on, never seeing Johnny in any other way than your bestest friend but right now... You gulped. 

You watched his eyes brighten when Angela looks up at him and your heart pulls again. The more you looked at him, the less and less you saw his flaws and looked at the way his left lip curled up higher than the right and how his eyes squinted when sometimes he smiled but not always. 

‘I just want to stay with you in this moment forever’ The songs lyrics echoed and bounced off your head and you felt frozen, realizing just how much they felt so true just then. 

Best friend, best friend, best friend. You kept muttering to yourself over and over again, trying to engrave only that idea and nothing else. 

But you could feel your heart beating all the more faster, hands slightly sweating, and your throat close up. The more you gape at them, the more hopeless you feel; knowing that he wasn’t just your best friend Johnny to you anymore. 

‘Just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time’

Everything felt slowed down in that moment to you, all you could hear was their laughter that stuck in your head and bloomed thousands of questions. You thought about the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, how his smile seemed permanent and always there, all whenever he was around kids. You heart swelled at the thought. It was like Johnny around kids was embedded in your head. 

“Oh, Y/N.” Your mom stood in the dining room with a smile and a small sigh. “You see it now, don’t you?”

June 8th, 2018 

It was 5:30pm and just Johnny and you. The two of you were at a secluded beach Johnny managed to find a year ago. Ever since, it’s only ever been just for the two of you. 

You felt like you could relive this moment for the rest of your life. 

With your eyes closed, all you were focused on was the sound of water crashing against the shore, the loudness of the waves before the caressing of sand against sand. The feeling of your wet hair dropping down cold water droplets onto your salty, sun-kissed skin. 

If you could pause any scene in your life, this would most probably be it. 

“Y/N.” 

You open your eyes and against the brightness of the sky, the first thing you focus on are the crashing waves. They move up on their own accord and you watch the sun just about to touch the seas horizon. The blue of the the sky with the sun setting makes the clouds a soft baby pink and light purple. You watch the sea mirror the spread of colors across the sky. 

“The suns just about to set.” 

You turn to the sound of Johnny’s voice, already hearing his smile before seeing it. When you first met him three years ago, you couldn’t lie, you used to gape a little seeing a shirtless Johnny Seo. But now, you couldn’t help but focus on his relaxed grin and how you could see the sunset in his eyes. 

Wow, you say to yourself, watching the way he throws his head back a little to drown in the sunset. His arms flexed as he laid on his forearm. He looked like some sort of god, taking in the pinks, blues, and purple in the sunset. 

You felt your heart beat so fast you were scared he would be able to see it. 

This was Johnny at his purest, most comfortable form. He was so relaxed, you couldn’t help but feel the exact same way. 

Home. You swallowed thickly at the thought. Maybe it was the relaxing weather or the sound of the beach but you felt so at home in that moment, you never wanted to leave. 

You turn back to the sunset, seeing a little more than half of the sun beneath the horizon. The sky’s colors stood out a lot more now, no longer soft and pastel. The pink and purple was almost neon against the darkening blue background. 

“I want to stay here forever.” You couldn’t help but say out loud, eyes slowly taking in the sunset and all it had to offer. 

Johnny sighs and nods. “Ditto. But nothing lasts forever.” 

“You’re such a mood killer.” You roll your eyes at him and he laughs loudly. 

“You know you love me, Y/N.” 

Current day -11:06pm

The stars sparkled and twinkled in the sky, all kinds of sizes and colors.

It was freezing cold but you and Johnny were side by side under a massive and cozy blanket. The close proximity with all the bottled up feelings and things you’ve been feeling for him? The cold was the least of your problems right now.

Johnny shivers a little before nudging you, ignoring the fact that you were practically touching anyway. “What do you want to do in the future? Still be a lawyer?”

You ignore the way heat creeps up your neck and cheeks at the personal space decreasing between the two of you. You were already squeezed up beside him, it was insane you could get any closer. Your skin that met his under the blanket feels like it was sizzling, like it was electrifying meeting skin against skin.

You nod and smirk up at him. “Definitely, who else is gonna help your ass get out of prison one day?”

Johnny laughs and shakes his head. “My lifesaver, truly.”

“What about you?” You watch his eyes start to spark when you ask. You feel your stomach bubble. “Doctor right?”

“Hell yeah. But I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately…” You feel intoxicated watching how happiness blooms onto his face. So when his sentence drifts off, you reel him right back in.

“Tell me then.”

He gives you a big, warm grin before turning to lay on one of his forearms and face you. You swallow thickly catching his cheeks turn a rare shade darker. You don’t say it out loud but you mentally mark today as the first time you’ve seen Johnny blush.

“If I get into medical school, you know how I was stuck between neurosurgery or something related to the brain? I’ve been thinking about it and, well,” Johnny looks up at you to see if you were still listening, and when he sees that you were already looking at him, he blushes again.

“I want to do something to help kids going through hard things like cancer. I want to be able to help them and change their life.” Johnny sighs loudly. “It always makes me so sad whenever I read or see something about a little kid going through all that… I just don’t want them to feel so alone in a process like that, you know? Can you even imagine going through that when you were a kid? God, these kids deserve so much, I want to be able to give that to them, you feel?”

You stare at him like you’ve never seen him before. 

Johnny was a pretty serious guy, but he never spoke about something so serious with so much emotion, it made you see him in a new light. He goes on talking about helping the children and you can hear all the passion and love in his voice. It overwhelms you so much that you take a quick inhale. 

“I-I love you.”

You cursed at yourself in your head. You couldn’t believe it, after two years of pinning over your best friend, you blurt it out when you hear him talk about helping kids and wanting to give them even an ounce of happiness? You were so whipped. 

Johnny gives you a confused look when you blurt that out right after he finished talking. His confused face turns into a confused smile. “I love you too, Y/N?”

“N-no,” you gulp and groan, realizing how big of a hole you dug yourself in. “I… I’m in love with you Johnny.”

There’s a silence and you refuse to look at his face, instead focusing on the striking stars. 

“Ever since Sehun and I ended whatever that was, its like something between us changed.”

“2 years ago.” Is all Johnny says and you still can’t look at him in the eyes, only nodding after what he said. You sigh.

“I feel things for you Johnny… and I’m terrified to be honest.” You laugh meekly and let it die off when Johnny stays quiet. You knew Johnny and you knew that he was never quiet. You finally look at him and when you see him staring only at the ground, you want to implode right then and there. “Say something, Johnny. Please.”

You watch him keep his gaze on the ground, not blinking and not moving. You want to go into his head to know what he was thinking, but when his gaze lifts onto yours, you already know how he feels.

“I don--thats a lot to take in, Y/N.”

You just nod again and look back up to the sky when you feel the backs of your eyes burn. You couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe that you would cry in front of Johnny, right now. You hated to cry and you always made sure to never do it in front of him. But the look of despair and sorry in his eyes plays over and over again in your head til you can’t trust yourself to speak anymore. Your throat whelms up and your teeth clench together.

“I think I should go, Y/N.”

You feel like everything around you starts crumbling, like every little thing was made of ash and it all disintegrates at your touch. Your heart beats so slow you could physically feel the strain in your lungs and throat as you take in more air than you usually do. As if you always wanted to see Johnny, your best friend, the guy you were hopelessly in love with, walk away from you right now.

Your gaze is still forced towards the stars, refusing to take in the grueling scene happening within your fingertips, instead catching every twinkle and every flicker until your vision is completely blurred up from the unshed tears in your eyes.

You can feel Johnny unfurling himself from the blankets and stepping away from you and the hammock the two of you nestled yourself in tonight. Your eyes burn but you keep them up and focused on the night sky, cursing at how the stars seemed blended and unfocused due to the blurriness of your vision. 

You can hear Johnny saying something but you don’t take the time to listen, too caught up in forcing your heart to keep beating and for your lungs to stop squeezing.

Daringly, you drift your eyes to catch Johnny right when he goes back into your apartment and out of the balcony, eyes meeting for a split second before he’s gone. You can’t help but think to yourself how he wears rejection so beautifully, you felt like you were going to be sick.

You might’ve fallen in love with Johnny in a series of moments, but it didn’t mean that he did too.

➵ Part Two 

#im so proud of this tbh #johnny seo #johnny suh #seo youngho #nct johnny #nct johnny seo #nct youngho #nct fluff #nct angst #nct writing #nct fic #nct imagines #nct scenario #nct oneshot #johnny fluff #johnny angst #nct #nct 2018 #nct 2019 #nct 127 #johnny

[angelitakundeus]

Drop Ship Lifestyle Review

Drop Ship Lifestyle Review

Anyone thinking about starting a business dropshipping online have likely come across Anton Kraly’s advertisements for his Drop Ship Lifestyle course. This course claims it’ll provide you with all the knowledge and training you’ll need to set up and run your dropshipping business; it’s also supposed to teach you how to expand your venture once successful.

Now, don’t expect me to sell you the course as a wonder, and I’m not affiliated to him in any way. You’ll learn about what it actually offers, and why it’s actually not what you want for your business.

It’s worth noting that Anton has seemingly started his marketing campaign all over again with full power, and this has included a new DSL version. Another interesting addition is an even more convoluted refunds policy, so expect even more troubles if you want to get a refund.

Reviewing the course

There are many resources online that can help you understand the business model a lot better. However, as a basic introduction, dropshipping is a business approach in which you sell products without having to purchase them to build a stock.

It removes the need for initial inventory investment, storing it somewhere, and hoping that you can sell them to earn a profit or at least get your money back.

Brick and mortar stores had been the norm until sales ventured into the internet through eCommerce sites. Still, owners still bought the products from a supplier, receive them, and offer them for a slightly higher price either on their websites or on their stores.

However, dropshipping bypasses the first and second steps by letting you list any product from any supplier at the moment. You only need to purchase the item once a customer places an order. Then, you contact your supplier, buy the product, and have it shipped to your customer’s address.

That way, if you don’t sell any of your items, you’re not risking or losing any money. You only lose the minutes you used to post the products, so you can even change your offers any time until you find a product that you can sell efficiently.

Who is Anton Kraly?

Anton says he’s another guy who was stuck in a regular job with the usual dead end back in the USA, and he chose to go to SE Asia. He went to experience the “digital nomad” lifestyle, so he decided to start a business.

He claims he was then introduced to the dropshipping business model thanks to a friend, so he started to create his own stores via online platforms like Shopify, which let him create his business within a few hours at most.

He then spent several years selling his dropshipping products successfully, and after that, he thought about creating his DSL course so that he could share what he knows with the rest of the world.

From then on, it appears a lot of affiliates got on board, so the course started growing a lot. Today, DSL is among the most recommended online programs for learning how to dropship on your own.

Our objective here is that you find out whether or not that’s actually true or just what the affiliates sell for a profit.

Among the most influential promoters behind the DSL course is Johnny FD. He’s a fellow digital nomad living in Chang Mai, and he constantly claims that this course was the inspiration that took him to creating his own business online; that’s why he dedicates himself to promote the course via the AntonMethod, an affiliate page he uses for that purpose.

Johnny says he made around $3,000 monthly thanks to his dropshipping business selling sun beds and massage tables, but he sold the business not too long ago for a bit over $60,000.

Do note that Johnny also has a course himself, and it’s called “Drop Ship Lab”. However, the course has been inactive for a really long time, so it’s safe to say it’s dead by now.

Why is it popular among reviews?

DSL came out almost 8 years ago, back in 2012. From the get-go, it sported an affiliate marketing program for different marketers to profit from promoting it.

These people would earn up to 50% of the course’s price for each referral. Back then, the entry price was almost a fourth part of what it costs now: $250, so that means each referral would net you $125; it’s a dream come true, even more so for people just starting.

People following John Chow and others who make $2,000 for each commission won’t be as surprised, especially today, but this was a huge deal back then.

Naturally, the course attracted countless affiliates who wanted to promote it through Clickbank from 2012’s December all the way to November 2014; most people didn’t even know whether or not the course was any good.

It showed on the different reviews made for the course. Virtually all of them were just promoting the same images available on the course’s sales page.

However, it has mostly died out until the recent release and seeming revamp of the course. Most reviews available on the internet are from before 2016, but many may start appearing with its revival.

Of course, Affiliates competed to get on the first results in Google searches, and they even headed over to YouTube and any channels that could get them the audience. Even CPA sites like Flexoffers brokered this offer to myriads of affiliates looking to build their links and handle all the traffic they could get.

As such, Anton ended up having a huge amount of people taking the course, and it got to the point that he claimed to be a multi-millionaire by the start of 2015. Of course, he said that it was from dropshipping, but once you multiply the course’s price by the course’s students count (over 2,500), it’s easy to determine what took him there.

At this moment, something really shady happens: Anton just got rid of all the affiliate marketers who had promoted his course and netted him the new members. In less than a day, the entire affiliate program vanished without any kind of warning, paying all pending commissions.

After doing this, he installed a new rule for people wanting to promote it: they had to pay and be a member if they wanted to promote it.

In other words, the course turned completely into an MLM business like Wealthy Affiliate or MOBE. Just look for any product available online and its reviews; odds are you’ll see that the writer rated it poorly and compared it to one of those two (or another) courses.

Of course, it’s not as big as other names, but it’s still an MLM network with an (at least) shady past.

When you pay for a subscription and become a DSL member, you can freely promote that course. That’s more enticing than it seems. Let’s say you paid $2,000 for it; that would mean that you just need to get 2 more people to sign up.

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this approach. It’s a legitimate business practice, and it’s really efficient. However, it does provide you with an idea of how the course became so famous and filled with positive reviews, so don’t just assume it’s because of its quality.

Finally, note that getting refunds with MLM businesses is a real challenge. You need to read every single line on all contracts since most offer you a 30-day guarantee before asking you to follow annoying steps just to prove that you didn’t really benefit from it. Often times, the steps could even cost you or be impossible for some people.

What you really get

This course has grown a lot since it was first released, and it’s now on version 7.0, which was updated back in April of this year (2019). While it has changed quite a bit, and it’s certainly larger, the course is still presented like it was during its release: WordPress website with the Optimizepress add-on.

What did change a lot is the price. It was $250 back when it was release, or you could pay $2,997 for the ultimate offer, complete with a store already done for you. If you don’t really die over the main components, you can pay $1,997 for the first iteration of this course.

Back in January 2017, the lowest plan was priced at $997, so you can see it almost quadrupled. Furthermore, as of this article’s writing, the premium plan costs $2,997; the ultimate, done-for-you offer has reached the $4,997 mark.

What feels wrong with this is that most updates are just design changes, a few more videos, and some corrections. It’s not enough (in my opinion) to warrant such a high increase. Don’t take these numbers as give, either; the price is always changing, so if you read this in a few months, it’ll probably be higher.

Back in the 4th version of this course, the course split into 4 different plans. However, the 5th version then removed the basic plan, or at least it merged both the basic and premium plans together, so today, the cheapest plan is $2,997.

However, for the sake of keeping you in context, let’s go through the 3 plans as originally planned. That’ll help you have an idea of what was offered before compared to what is offered right now.

Basic plan

The basic plan started out at $250 during its release, and it was maintained for a few years. However, the last price tag it had was $997 right before it was merged into the premium plan. Version 4.0 had recreated videos, but the content overall was always the same, so it started feeling outdated quickly.

The content was mostly basic: the type of videos you could find online. However, the basic plan did include the entire video course, and it covered almost everything: from explaining the business model to finding your suppliers and growing your business. The problem was mostly whether or not the information was actually good.

The most recent videos added do include more modern concepts like Adwords and an entire design class for eCommerce not available until the 4th version.

Anton advises students to keep organic search away and instead just go to Google Adwords. That means pretty much just to forget about SEOn your website. That’s really a bad idea since you’re giving up free traffic, and using Adwords is also a fairly expensive method, especially for some niches like clothing and electronics.

You also got a custom theme for Shopify with the basic plan, and you could use it to create a store in minutes. The problem with this theme is that there are thousands of people taking the course, and all of them have access to this theme, so you’d risk your store looking too similar to your competition.

Besides, Google ranks duplicate websites lower, and the same is true for most search algorithms.

Premium plan

This subscription come with everything that the basic package included and a few additions. It used to cost $497, and it offered users 55 advanced modules for training as well as access to both the DSLabs and private apps, software and a supplier directory.

The DSLabs is a section with checklists, scripts for supplier contact, and some standard operation procedures ready for you. There’s also an app for Shopify; it automates several processes for your business, but it isn’t the best app available for that purpose.

This plan repeats the same problem as the template from the basic plan (which is also included here). The scripts are the same that thousands of businesses are getting as well, so you’ll just follow the herd if you decide to use them as is.

The best you can do is just call the supplier and request to speak with someone who can make business with you. Emailing is something everyone can do, but you want to show initiative and that you can “get things done”.

The directory does stand out; it’s surprising thanks to the large amount of suppliers you get. However, you can pay for a service like Salehoo to get thousands of suppliers anywhere around the world. Always remember that everyone taking this course will surely hit the same suppliers for business.

Salehoo is just $65, and it has more suppliers and details on each.

Since this plan already had everything from the basic plan, the team decided to just merge the two. As I’m writing this, this plan is the cheapest option, yet it costs $2,997.

Done for you plan

The last package started out at $2,997, and it was the most exclusive and expensive offer on the course. The fact that now the most accessible option has that same price could put a lot of people off.

This package has the DSL team setting up the website so that you don’t have to. You’re then able to use the free time for learning the content and growing your business without any distractions.

Aside from the website, it also offers 2 hours for you to call Anton directly and get coaching. You also get 2 exclusive tickets for a DSL yearly retreat that’s held in either Vietnam, Laos, or Thailand.

Thailand is the most common destination, and the retreats gather different nomads from anywhere around the globe for networking and sharing in general.

I didn’t pay for this package, so I can’t really tell you a lot about it. However, people signing up for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd versions of this course got their retreat tickets every year for a lot less (sever thousands).

You should try to hit Anton with an email, but you can definitely go to that retreat without paying the package’s price. It’s actually a bit unfair for some people, and I can understand that.

DSL version 5

The 5th version of the course is one of the most important changes it’s gotten since its release. For starters, it removed the basic plan and merged it with the premium package to make a single offer; however, it’s just removing the basic subscription since the premium already had everything from it.

It added a new module regarding a USA business setup if you’re overseas, which was actually a pretty good addition. It also raised the asking price to $1,997 for the package ($1,000 cheaper than today).

This version also emphasized the MLM aspect of the course. Even more so, the page where you sign up for the course doesn’t show any prices until about the 3rd sales video starts.

During the videos, the course promises a solid refunds policy with the 30-day guarantee, but you must read every detail carefully, for this is a catchy statement. All conditions are fairly reasonable, but you need to prove you completed the program before you ask for a refund. You won’t get it if you can’t show that.

The problem is how this is a contradiction to its 30-day guarantee.

The guarantee says that you get access to all the content without risks, and you can try all the content. You can email support if you aren’t satisfied within the first month, proving you’re completing tasks but not seeing results. The refund is 100% of what you paid.

It also says that you must only join if your intention is to complete the tasks since that’s necessary for getting the results advertised. If a refund is requested, you need to prove you’ve completed these tasks.

As you can see, the guarantee says that you can take the entire course for free, and you can cancel your subscription at any time as long as you can show you’ve been working on it and achieving the tasks.

There’s zero mentions on having to finish the complete course before you ask for a reason, so you’re left to guess which of the two conditions are worth following. Do note that taking the entire course may take you more than 30 days, so you can see how sketchy the whole policy is.

Reasons not to buy it

Now you know pretty much everything you can learn about the course itself and what you receive after signing up. You may have formed your own conclusions regarding if you want it or not, but let me explain why you should not buy the course before you make the final call.

Price

As with similar courses on similar topics, the price really goes beyond the content and value it actually offers. While it started off somewhat OK at $250 for the basic plan, the constant increases with each version took it far off from what it should actually cost, especially with so many resources available online for much less or for free.

So, no. This course isn’t worth more than what it asked at first, and it’s definitely not worth $2,997.

If you want to build a business on dropshipping, you want to take the time to analyze all the costs. Anton says you need hard work before you have a successful eCommerce and become rich; you need to invest your money if you want to make it.

Anton said his business started with just $29 before making him $1.8 million, but there are costs involved with building your site, hosting, marketing, etc. If you don’t know how to do something (and there’s always stuff you won’t know), then you can add hiring other people to that, and that’s a few thousands extra.

If you add this course’s price to all the investment you must make, then you’ll quickly inflate your budget, and it’ll reach unnecessarily high levels. Sellers definitely inflated the price thanks to its popularity, and it’s understandable.

However, the content and quality of the course itself hasn’t grown with its cost.

Shopify exclusive

This course assumes you’re going to build your store with Shopify. In fact, Anton has affiliates links to the platform, and he’ll make money from every purchase from his links. Additionally, the only training available on store building is for Shopify, so you’ll have to get extra knowledge from different sources if you want to use another platform.

Another problem behind that is the fact that Shopify can be quite expensive for a lot of people, especially for newcomers.

Hosting on Shopify costs about $300 every year. If you want a larger business, then you also want to invest on the standard plan for $79 each month, which makes it to about $900 every year. Add a transaction fee for every sale that can go up to 2% and the costs for additional apps you integrate into your store.

Outside from the fundamentals, the free templates on Shopify aren’t the best available, and most people will be using them. That means you want to get a premium theme as well or hire a developer. Getting a theme can add up to $100-200 more.

You can see how the exclusiveness is an issue. You’re paying for an overpriced the course that focuses only on methods requiring you spend more money.

Niche content

The knowledge offered on finding a niche for your business is just mediocre, and even free resources like YouTube videos and articles give you more depth and value. In fact, most negatives reviews for the DSL course will gravitate around this issue.

One of the most important steps to setting up your business is to know what you want to sell, and choosing a bad niche will kill your business from the first day. You want to take your time studying the market and find a niche that’s not oversaturated or already take by a giant like Amazon.

The only consolation is that Anton offers to validate your niche for you before you start your venture. The problem is that even this can be sketchy depending on how you look at it: it may be help, or you may give him a great idea, so he could easily tell you not to do it and keep the niche for himself.

Lack of SEO

As we already mentioned when describing the content in the course, Anton doesn’t endorse organic traffic on search engines, so you can forget about any knowledge regarding SEO and the like.

Anton often says that it simply takes too long to get sales if you take your time on SEO, and that’s why he recommends you go straight for Adwords. While it could make sense for some, it’s yet another hefty expense for many entrepreneurs.

Now, let’s paint a picture.

You just paid $2,997 for the course and $79 for your website. Well, you also need to spend around $500 on Google advertising. Now, a lot of people can do it, and many actually do, but there are people who will take the course just to realize that their venture is way out of their reach.

The sales video won’t state the costs for the methods taught by this course, and chances are you’re only going to find that out once you finished the course and started putting the lessons into practice.

Anton tries to lessen the pain by offering coupons and some training modules on the platform, but this approach is still difficult, and anyone without experience will probably just burn their budget quickly and get no sales or even leads.

Anton only teaches you about what worked for his business, and it seems SEO isn’t one of them, so you’re left to figure out if you’re as lucky as he was.

Other members joined for less

This is another issue I already mentioned: most people you see in the students’ community subscribed to it earlier and for a lot less than you. Since the course started getting upgraded, they stated that everyone who paid first would have free access to all versions. Anton set the price to $497 before version 3 closed so that he could have more money for developing the 4th version.

That means that all members got the content for $1,000 less than you (at least, remember it started out at $250). They also have free tickets for the retreat that would cost you almost $5,000.

This isn’t just paying more than others; it means you’re severely handicapped. Why?

First, your competitors started off with lower expenses, but that’s just the start. Remember that the content doesn’t really get updated with each version besides some design and retakes. The knowledge offered today is roughly the same available when it was released.

Think about the templates and directories again; other people got them years before you, so they’re probably saturated already. You won’t really get good results by using them.

As such, keep in mind that most people who have taken the course are probably inactive. They’ve either reached success and left the community, or they just bombed or realized dropshipping wasn’t the gold mine they expected.

Non-US students

Until nearly 3 years ago, the course didn’t offer any knowledge for people wanting to settle an overseas business or outside the country. It lacked nothing on the legal side of things and taxes, so students had to go to another source if they had doubts on these.

If you’re not from the US, then you need to qualify as a type of USA entity before working with dropshippers there. If you want to do the same with European dropshippers, then you want to be registered as a business or trader there with a VAT.

Anton simply skipped the overall legal side of things for US or European supplier, likely because of how popular is AliExpress. You can register in Delaware or Wyoming, but that would lead to an entirely new article.

Luckily, Anton decided to add a brief course on this matter starting 2017. It still isn’t the best you can get, and you’ll likely need other resources, but at least it’s there.

Is dropshipping a good business?

That’s a tricky answer depending on whom you ask. Dropshipping isn’t the same gold mine it was almost 10 years ago when people started getting into it, and Amazon wasn’t as huge as it is right now.

However, now it’s really hard to compete with the prices at Amazon, and you have to spend a lot of time and research to find a niche that you can take advantage of over Amazon. Just make sure to keep track of Best Buy or Walmart.

Most suppliers will also prefer to work with Amazon than smaller independent businesses like dropshippers. They can actually guarantee the sales suppliers want.

With the dozens of courses like DSL, hundreds of dropshipper now want to start the same business with the same niches, products, and suppliers –all at the same price.

Making money with dropshipping requires that you set your business apart from the rest; that’s how you can really make money with this model. The issue is how that means going against half the advice available with Drop Ship Lifestyle.

You need to find products and suppliers no one else knows, and that means forgetting about all directories, scripts and themes available in DSL.

So, to answer the question, you can make money from dropshipping, but you need to know how to do so in the right way.

Better resources for your money

If you’re not looking for just a community but to build a prosperous business, then you should look at the following options. For the price of a basic DSL plan, you can buy all of the following and still have something to spare.

eCom Elites

This is easily the best course available for people looking to dropship. You have more than 175 videos, adding up to around 40 hours covering the model, selecting products, marketing, and everything related.

I’ve seen many courses, and promoting a $2,000+ course would get me more money, but I’d rather recommend value, and eCom Elites gives you all you need for just $197. If you wanted the community, you have access to the private Facebook group and weekly videos.

If you’re looking for good information and training to do thigs yourself, then eCom Elites is the best choice, and you don’t even have to empty your bank account.

eCom Turbo (theme)

As I said before, the free Shopify templates aren’t the best you can get, and thousands are probably already using them.

Most people complaining about not getting sales despite the visitors is simply the esthetics of their business and zero mobile responsiveness. While it may look great on desktop, most sales will come from smartphone users.

eCom Turbo takes care of everything you expect from a theme and more. Visitors won’t have to scroll at all to know what they’re going to buy since all the details show above the fold.

You can also personalize this theme to fit any taste. You don’t have to spend hundreds and hours looking for a theme that goes with what you want since you can transform eCom Turbo any way you wish, and it’s just $97 for lifetime access to its updates.

Salehoo

Salehoo is a supplier directory for dropshippers and wholesale contacts. It’s been available for more than 10 years, and its reputation speaks for itself.

Salehoo gives you access to more than 10,000 different resources spread amongst many countries, including the US, UK, Australia, New Zealand and Europe, so you don’t have to look too hard to find the one that suits you best.

WooCommerce or Shopify

Finally, you need a platform for your website, and these two are the best options

WooCommerce is best for people with experience regarding WordPress and website hosting since it’s completely free. It comes from the folks at WooThemes, and you can customize this add-on however you want. If you want even more options, there are premium plugins for less than $15 on ThemeForest.

The only issue with WooCommerce is that you need to pay for your hosting separately.

Shopify is another choice for people with a bit more money at hand. The cheapest plan is $29, but as I said, you probably want to go for the $79 standard subscription. Besides the initial fee, make sure to take a look at the price structure since your sales volume will change according to it.

Final Verdict

Is It Worth It? Final Verdict

DSL is definitely a promising course, but the cost is simply too high. Besides its initial cost, it only covers the most expensive approaches like Shopify along with Adwords.

By going for the options below, you can start your business on the right foot for less than $1,000, and you can use the extra $2,000 for those Adwords if you want, which will be paired with a solid SEO for organic traffic.

I hope you found this review useful and if you have any questions, please comment down below. I’ll be more than happy to assist you.

Once again, thanks for reading my Dropship Lifestyle Review and I wish you the best of luck.

The post Drop Ship Lifestyle Review appeared first on Only Genuine Reviews.

source https://www.onlygenuinereviews.com/drop-ship-lifestyle-review/

source https://onlygenuinereviews.art.blog/2020/01/09/drop-ship-lifestyle-review/

[johnmuffus]

Drop Ship Lifestyle Review

Drop Ship Lifestyle Review

Anyone thinking about starting a business dropshipping online have likely come across Anton Kraly’s advertisements for his Drop Ship Lifestyle course. This course claims it’ll provide you with all the knowledge and training you’ll need to set up and run your dropshipping business; it’s also supposed to teach you how to expand your venture once successful.

Now, don’t expect me to sell you the course as a wonder, and I’m not affiliated to him in any way. You’ll learn about what it actually offers, and why it’s actually not what you want for your business.

It’s worth noting that Anton has seemingly started his marketing campaign all over again with full power, and this has included a new DSL version. Another interesting addition is an even more convoluted refunds policy, so expect even more troubles if you want to get a refund.

Reviewing the course

There are many resources online that can help you understand the business model a lot better. However, as a basic introduction, dropshipping is a business approach in which you sell products without having to purchase them to build a stock.

It removes the need for initial inventory investment, storing it somewhere, and hoping that you can sell them to earn a profit or at least get your money back.

Brick and mortar stores had been the norm until sales ventured into the internet through eCommerce sites. Still, owners still bought the products from a supplier, receive them, and offer them for a slightly higher price either on their websites or on their stores.

However, dropshipping bypasses the first and second steps by letting you list any product from any supplier at the moment. You only need to purchase the item once a customer places an order. Then, you contact your supplier, buy the product, and have it shipped to your customer’s address.

That way, if you don’t sell any of your items, you’re not risking or losing any money. You only lose the minutes you used to post the products, so you can even change your offers any time until you find a product that you can sell efficiently.

Who is Anton Kraly?

Anton says he’s another guy who was stuck in a regular job with the usual dead end back in the USA, and he chose to go to SE Asia. He went to experience the “digital nomad” lifestyle, so he decided to start a business.

He claims he was then introduced to the dropshipping business model thanks to a friend, so he started to create his own stores via online platforms like Shopify, which let him create his business within a few hours at most.

He then spent several years selling his dropshipping products successfully, and after that, he thought about creating his DSL course so that he could share what he knows with the rest of the world.

From then on, it appears a lot of affiliates got on board, so the course started growing a lot. Today, DSL is among the most recommended online programs for learning how to dropship on your own.

Our objective here is that you find out whether or not that’s actually true or just what the affiliates sell for a profit.

Among the most influential promoters behind the DSL course is Johnny FD. He’s a fellow digital nomad living in Chang Mai, and he constantly claims that this course was the inspiration that took him to creating his own business online; that’s why he dedicates himself to promote the course via the AntonMethod, an affiliate page he uses for that purpose.

Johnny says he made around $3,000 monthly thanks to his dropshipping business selling sun beds and massage tables, but he sold the business not too long ago for a bit over $60,000.

Do note that Johnny also has a course himself, and it’s called “Drop Ship Lab”. However, the course has been inactive for a really long time, so it’s safe to say it’s dead by now.

Why is it popular among reviews?

DSL came out almost 8 years ago, back in 2012. From the get-go, it sported an affiliate marketing program for different marketers to profit from promoting it.

These people would earn up to 50% of the course’s price for each referral. Back then, the entry price was almost a fourth part of what it costs now: $250, so that means each referral would net you $125; it’s a dream come true, even more so for people just starting.

People following John Chow and others who make $2,000 for each commission won’t be as surprised, especially today, but this was a huge deal back then.

Naturally, the course attracted countless affiliates who wanted to promote it through Clickbank from 2012’s December all the way to November 2014; most people didn’t even know whether or not the course was any good.

It showed on the different reviews made for the course. Virtually all of them were just promoting the same images available on the course’s sales page.

However, it has mostly died out until the recent release and seeming revamp of the course. Most reviews available on the internet are from before 2016, but many may start appearing with its revival.

Of course, Affiliates competed to get on the first results in Google searches, and they even headed over to YouTube and any channels that could get them the audience. Even CPA sites like Flexoffers brokered this offer to myriads of affiliates looking to build their links and handle all the traffic they could get.

As such, Anton ended up having a huge amount of people taking the course, and it got to the point that he claimed to be a multi-millionaire by the start of 2015. Of course, he said that it was from dropshipping, but once you multiply the course’s price by the course’s students count (over 2,500), it’s easy to determine what took him there.

At this moment, something really shady happens: Anton just got rid of all the affiliate marketers who had promoted his course and netted him the new members. In less than a day, the entire affiliate program vanished without any kind of warning, paying all pending commissions.

After doing this, he installed a new rule for people wanting to promote it: they had to pay and be a member if they wanted to promote it.

In other words, the course turned completely into an MLM business like Wealthy Affiliate or MOBE. Just look for any product available online and its reviews; odds are you’ll see that the writer rated it poorly and compared it to one of those two (or another) courses.

Of course, it’s not as big as other names, but it’s still an MLM network with an (at least) shady past.

When you pay for a subscription and become a DSL member, you can freely promote that course. That’s more enticing than it seems. Let’s say you paid $2,000 for it; that would mean that you just need to get 2 more people to sign up.

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this approach. It’s a legitimate business practice, and it’s really efficient. However, it does provide you with an idea of how the course became so famous and filled with positive reviews, so don’t just assume it’s because of its quality.

Finally, note that getting refunds with MLM businesses is a real challenge. You need to read every single line on all contracts since most offer you a 30-day guarantee before asking you to follow annoying steps just to prove that you didn’t really benefit from it. Often times, the steps could even cost you or be impossible for some people.

What you really get

This course has grown a lot since it was first released, and it’s now on version 7.0, which was updated back in April of this year (2019). While it has changed quite a bit, and it’s certainly larger, the course is still presented like it was during its release: WordPress website with the Optimizepress add-on.

What did change a lot is the price. It was $250 back when it was release, or you could pay $2,997 for the ultimate offer, complete with a store already done for you. If you don’t really die over the main components, you can pay $1,997 for the first iteration of this course.

Back in January 2017, the lowest plan was priced at $997, so you can see it almost quadrupled. Furthermore, as of this article’s writing, the premium plan costs $2,997; the ultimate, done-for-you offer has reached the $4,997 mark.

What feels wrong with this is that most updates are just design changes, a few more videos, and some corrections. It’s not enough (in my opinion) to warrant such a high increase. Don’t take these numbers as give, either; the price is always changing, so if you read this in a few months, it’ll probably be higher.

Back in the 4th version of this course, the course split into 4 different plans. However, the 5th version then removed the basic plan, or at least it merged both the basic and premium plans together, so today, the cheapest plan is $2,997.

However, for the sake of keeping you in context, let’s go through the 3 plans as originally planned. That’ll help you have an idea of what was offered before compared to what is offered right now.

Basic plan

The basic plan started out at $250 during its release, and it was maintained for a few years. However, the last price tag it had was $997 right before it was merged into the premium plan. Version 4.0 had recreated videos, but the content overall was always the same, so it started feeling outdated quickly.

The content was mostly basic: the type of videos you could find online. However, the basic plan did include the entire video course, and it covered almost everything: from explaining the business model to finding your suppliers and growing your business. The problem was mostly whether or not the information was actually good.

The most recent videos added do include more modern concepts like Adwords and an entire design class for eCommerce not available until the 4th version.

Anton advises students to keep organic search away and instead just go to Google Adwords. That means pretty much just to forget about SEOn your website. That’s really a bad idea since you’re giving up free traffic, and using Adwords is also a fairly expensive method, especially for some niches like clothing and electronics.

You also got a custom theme for Shopify with the basic plan, and you could use it to create a store in minutes. The problem with this theme is that there are thousands of people taking the course, and all of them have access to this theme, so you’d risk your store looking too similar to your competition.

Besides, Google ranks duplicate websites lower, and the same is true for most search algorithms.

Premium plan

This subscription come with everything that the basic package included and a few additions. It used to cost $497, and it offered users 55 advanced modules for training as well as access to both the DSLabs and private apps, software and a supplier directory.

The DSLabs is a section with checklists, scripts for supplier contact, and some standard operation procedures ready for you. There’s also an app for Shopify; it automates several processes for your business, but it isn’t the best app available for that purpose.

This plan repeats the same problem as the template from the basic plan (which is also included here). The scripts are the same that thousands of businesses are getting as well, so you’ll just follow the herd if you decide to use them as is.

The best you can do is just call the supplier and request to speak with someone who can make business with you. Emailing is something everyone can do, but you want to show initiative and that you can “get things done”.

The directory does stand out; it’s surprising thanks to the large amount of suppliers you get. However, you can pay for a service like Salehoo to get thousands of suppliers anywhere around the world. Always remember that everyone taking this course will surely hit the same suppliers for business.

Salehoo is just $65, and it has more suppliers and details on each.

Since this plan already had everything from the basic plan, the team decided to just merge the two. As I’m writing this, this plan is the cheapest option, yet it costs $2,997.

Done for you plan

The last package started out at $2,997, and it was the most exclusive and expensive offer on the course. The fact that now the most accessible option has that same price could put a lot of people off.

This package has the DSL team setting up the website so that you don’t have to. You’re then able to use the free time for learning the content and growing your business without any distractions.

Aside from the website, it also offers 2 hours for you to call Anton directly and get coaching. You also get 2 exclusive tickets for a DSL yearly retreat that’s held in either Vietnam, Laos, or Thailand.

Thailand is the most common destination, and the retreats gather different nomads from anywhere around the globe for networking and sharing in general.

I didn’t pay for this package, so I can’t really tell you a lot about it. However, people signing up for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd versions of this course got their retreat tickets every year for a lot less (sever thousands).

You should try to hit Anton with an email, but you can definitely go to that retreat without paying the package’s price. It’s actually a bit unfair for some people, and I can understand that.

DSL version 5

The 5th version of the course is one of the most important changes it’s gotten since its release. For starters, it removed the basic plan and merged it with the premium package to make a single offer; however, it’s just removing the basic subscription since the premium already had everything from it.

It added a new module regarding a USA business setup if you’re overseas, which was actually a pretty good addition. It also raised the asking price to $1,997 for the package ($1,000 cheaper than today).

This version also emphasized the MLM aspect of the course. Even more so, the page where you sign up for the course doesn’t show any prices until about the 3rd sales video starts.

During the videos, the course promises a solid refunds policy with the 30-day guarantee, but you must read every detail carefully, for this is a catchy statement. All conditions are fairly reasonable, but you need to prove you completed the program before you ask for a refund. You won’t get it if you can’t show that.

The problem is how this is a contradiction to its 30-day guarantee.

The guarantee says that you get access to all the content without risks, and you can try all the content. You can email support if you aren’t satisfied within the first month, proving you’re completing tasks but not seeing results. The refund is 100% of what you paid.

It also says that you must only join if your intention is to complete the tasks since that’s necessary for getting the results advertised. If a refund is requested, you need to prove you’ve completed these tasks.

As you can see, the guarantee says that you can take the entire course for free, and you can cancel your subscription at any time as long as you can show you’ve been working on it and achieving the tasks.

There’s zero mentions on having to finish the complete course before you ask for a reason, so you’re left to guess which of the two conditions are worth following. Do note that taking the entire course may take you more than 30 days, so you can see how sketchy the whole policy is.

Reasons not to buy it

Now you know pretty much everything you can learn about the course itself and what you receive after signing up. You may have formed your own conclusions regarding if you want it or not, but let me explain why you should not buy the course before you make the final call.

Price

As with similar courses on similar topics, the price really goes beyond the content and value it actually offers. While it started off somewhat OK at $250 for the basic plan, the constant increases with each version took it far off from what it should actually cost, especially with so many resources available online for much less or for free.

So, no. This course isn’t worth more than what it asked at first, and it’s definitely not worth $2,997.

If you want to build a business on dropshipping, you want to take the time to analyze all the costs. Anton says you need hard work before you have a successful eCommerce and become rich; you need to invest your money if you want to make it.

Anton said his business started with just $29 before making him $1.8 million, but there are costs involved with building your site, hosting, marketing, etc. If you don’t know how to do something (and there’s always stuff you won’t know), then you can add hiring other people to that, and that’s a few thousands extra.

If you add this course’s price to all the investment you must make, then you’ll quickly inflate your budget, and it’ll reach unnecessarily high levels. Sellers definitely inflated the price thanks to its popularity, and it’s understandable.

However, the content and quality of the course itself hasn’t grown with its cost.

Shopify exclusive

This course assumes you’re going to build your store with Shopify. In fact, Anton has affiliates links to the platform, and he’ll make money from every purchase from his links. Additionally, the only training available on store building is for Shopify, so you’ll have to get extra knowledge from different sources if you want to use another platform.

Another problem behind that is the fact that Shopify can be quite expensive for a lot of people, especially for newcomers.

Hosting on Shopify costs about $300 every year. If you want a larger business, then you also want to invest on the standard plan for $79 each month, which makes it to about $900 every year. Add a transaction fee for every sale that can go up to 2% and the costs for additional apps you integrate into your store.

Outside from the fundamentals, the free templates on Shopify aren’t the best available, and most people will be using them. That means you want to get a premium theme as well or hire a developer. Getting a theme can add up to $100-200 more.

You can see how the exclusiveness is an issue. You’re paying for an overpriced the course that focuses only on methods requiring you spend more money.

Niche content

The knowledge offered on finding a niche for your business is just mediocre, and even free resources like YouTube videos and articles give you more depth and value. In fact, most negatives reviews for the DSL course will gravitate around this issue.

One of the most important steps to setting up your business is to know what you want to sell, and choosing a bad niche will kill your business from the first day. You want to take your time studying the market and find a niche that’s not oversaturated or already take by a giant like Amazon.

The only consolation is that Anton offers to validate your niche for you before you start your venture. The problem is that even this can be sketchy depending on how you look at it: it may be help, or you may give him a great idea, so he could easily tell you not to do it and keep the niche for himself.

Lack of SEO

As we already mentioned when describing the content in the course, Anton doesn’t endorse organic traffic on search engines, so you can forget about any knowledge regarding SEO and the like.

Anton often says that it simply takes too long to get sales if you take your time on SEO, and that’s why he recommends you go straight for Adwords. While it could make sense for some, it’s yet another hefty expense for many entrepreneurs.

Now, let’s paint a picture.

You just paid $2,997 for the course and $79 for your website. Well, you also need to spend around $500 on Google advertising. Now, a lot of people can do it, and many actually do, but there are people who will take the course just to realize that their venture is way out of their reach.

The sales video won’t state the costs for the methods taught by this course, and chances are you’re only going to find that out once you finished the course and started putting the lessons into practice.

Anton tries to lessen the pain by offering coupons and some training modules on the platform, but this approach is still difficult, and anyone without experience will probably just burn their budget quickly and get no sales or even leads.

Anton only teaches you about what worked for his business, and it seems SEO isn’t one of them, so you’re left to figure out if you’re as lucky as he was.

Other members joined for less

This is another issue I already mentioned: most people you see in the students’ community subscribed to it earlier and for a lot less than you. Since the course started getting upgraded, they stated that everyone who paid first would have free access to all versions. Anton set the price to $497 before version 3 closed so that he could have more money for developing the 4th version.

That means that all members got the content for $1,000 less than you (at least, remember it started out at $250). They also have free tickets for the retreat that would cost you almost $5,000.

This isn’t just paying more than others; it means you’re severely handicapped. Why?

First, your competitors started off with lower expenses, but that’s just the start. Remember that the content doesn’t really get updated with each version besides some design and retakes. The knowledge offered today is roughly the same available when it was released.

Think about the templates and directories again; other people got them years before you, so they’re probably saturated already. You won’t really get good results by using them.

As such, keep in mind that most people who have taken the course are probably inactive. They’ve either reached success and left the community, or they just bombed or realized dropshipping wasn’t the gold mine they expected.

Non-US students

Until nearly 3 years ago, the course didn’t offer any knowledge for people wanting to settle an overseas business or outside the country. It lacked nothing on the legal side of things and taxes, so students had to go to another source if they had doubts on these.

If you’re not from the US, then you need to qualify as a type of USA entity before working with dropshippers there. If you want to do the same with European dropshippers, then you want to be registered as a business or trader there with a VAT.

Anton simply skipped the overall legal side of things for US or European supplier, likely because of how popular is AliExpress. You can register in Delaware or Wyoming, but that would lead to an entirely new article.

Luckily, Anton decided to add a brief course on this matter starting 2017. It still isn’t the best you can get, and you’ll likely need other resources, but at least it’s there.

Is dropshipping a good business?

That’s a tricky answer depending on whom you ask. Dropshipping isn’t the same gold mine it was almost 10 years ago when people started getting into it, and Amazon wasn’t as huge as it is right now.

However, now it’s really hard to compete with the prices at Amazon, and you have to spend a lot of time and research to find a niche that you can take advantage of over Amazon. Just make sure to keep track of Best Buy or Walmart.

Most suppliers will also prefer to work with Amazon than smaller independent businesses like dropshippers. They can actually guarantee the sales suppliers want.

With the dozens of courses like DSL, hundreds of dropshipper now want to start the same business with the same niches, products, and suppliers –all at the same price.

Making money with dropshipping requires that you set your business apart from the rest; that’s how you can really make money with this model. The issue is how that means going against half the advice available with Drop Ship Lifestyle.

You need to find products and suppliers no one else knows, and that means forgetting about all directories, scripts and themes available in DSL.

So, to answer the question, you can make money from dropshipping, but you need to know how to do so in the right way.

Better resources for your money

If you’re not looking for just a community but to build a prosperous business, then you should look at the following options. For the price of a basic DSL plan, you can buy all of the following and still have something to spare.

eCom Elites

This is easily the best course available for people looking to dropship. You have more than 175 videos, adding up to around 40 hours covering the model, selecting products, marketing, and everything related.

I’ve seen many courses, and promoting a $2,000+ course would get me more money, but I’d rather recommend value, and eCom Elites gives you all you need for just $197. If you wanted the community, you have access to the private Facebook group and weekly videos.

If you’re looking for good information and training to do thigs yourself, then eCom Elites is the best choice, and you don’t even have to empty your bank account.

eCom Turbo (theme)

As I said before, the free Shopify templates aren’t the best you can get, and thousands are probably already using them.

Most people complaining about not getting sales despite the visitors is simply the esthetics of their business and zero mobile responsiveness. While it may look great on desktop, most sales will come from smartphone users.

eCom Turbo takes care of everything you expect from a theme and more. Visitors won’t have to scroll at all to know what they’re going to buy since all the details show above the fold.

You can also personalize this theme to fit any taste. You don’t have to spend hundreds and hours looking for a theme that goes with what you want since you can transform eCom Turbo any way you wish, and it’s just $97 for lifetime access to its updates.

Salehoo

Salehoo is a supplier directory for dropshippers and wholesale contacts. It’s been available for more than 10 years, and its reputation speaks for itself.

Salehoo gives you access to more than 10,000 different resources spread amongst many countries, including the US, UK, Australia, New Zealand and Europe, so you don’t have to look too hard to find the one that suits you best.

WooCommerce or Shopify

Finally, you need a platform for your website, and these two are the best options

WooCommerce is best for people with experience regarding WordPress and website hosting since it’s completely free. It comes from the folks at WooThemes, and you can customize this add-on however you want. If you want even more options, there are premium plugins for less than $15 on ThemeForest.

The only issue with WooCommerce is that you need to pay for your hosting separately.

Shopify is another choice for people with a bit more money at hand. The cheapest plan is $29, but as I said, you probably want to go for the $79 standard subscription. Besides the initial fee, make sure to take a look at the price structure since your sales volume will change according to it.

Final Verdict

Is It Worth It? Final Verdict

DSL is definitely a promising course, but the cost is simply too high. Besides its initial cost, it only covers the most expensive approaches like Shopify along with Adwords.

By going for the options below, you can start your business on the right foot for less than $1,000, and you can use the extra $2,000 for those Adwords if you want, which will be paired with a solid SEO for organic traffic.

I hope you found this review useful and if you have any questions, please comment down below. I’ll be more than happy to assist you.

Once again, thanks for reading my Dropship Lifestyle Review and I wish you the best of luck.

The post Drop Ship Lifestyle Review appeared first on Only Genuine Reviews.

source https://www.onlygenuinereviews.com/drop-ship-lifestyle-review/ source https://onlygenuinereviews.tumblr.com/post/190167604772

[ednazermenous]

Drop Ship Lifestyle Review

Drop Ship Lifestyle Review

Anyone thinking about starting a business dropshipping online have likely come across Anton Kraly’s advertisements for his Drop Ship Lifestyle course. This course claims it’ll provide you with all the knowledge and training you’ll need to set up and run your dropshipping business; it’s also supposed to teach you how to expand your venture once successful.

Now, don’t expect me to sell you the course as a wonder, and I’m not affiliated to him in any way. You’ll learn about what it actually offers, and why it’s actually not what you want for your business.

It’s worth noting that Anton has seemingly started his marketing campaign all over again with full power, and this has included a new DSL version. Another interesting addition is an even more convoluted refunds policy, so expect even more troubles if you want to get a refund.

Reviewing the course

There are many resources online that can help you understand the business model a lot better. However, as a basic introduction, dropshipping is a business approach in which you sell products without having to purchase them to build a stock.

It removes the need for initial inventory investment, storing it somewhere, and hoping that you can sell them to earn a profit or at least get your money back.

Brick and mortar stores had been the norm until sales ventured into the internet through eCommerce sites. Still, owners still bought the products from a supplier, receive them, and offer them for a slightly higher price either on their websites or on their stores.

However, dropshipping bypasses the first and second steps by letting you list any product from any supplier at the moment. You only need to purchase the item once a customer places an order. Then, you contact your supplier, buy the product, and have it shipped to your customer’s address.

That way, if you don’t sell any of your items, you’re not risking or losing any money. You only lose the minutes you used to post the products, so you can even change your offers any time until you find a product that you can sell efficiently.

Who is Anton Kraly?

Anton says he’s another guy who was stuck in a regular job with the usual dead end back in the USA, and he chose to go to SE Asia. He went to experience the “digital nomad” lifestyle, so he decided to start a business.

He claims he was then introduced to the dropshipping business model thanks to a friend, so he started to create his own stores via online platforms like Shopify, which let him create his business within a few hours at most.

He then spent several years selling his dropshipping products successfully, and after that, he thought about creating his DSL course so that he could share what he knows with the rest of the world.

From then on, it appears a lot of affiliates got on board, so the course started growing a lot. Today, DSL is among the most recommended online programs for learning how to dropship on your own.

Our objective here is that you find out whether or not that’s actually true or just what the affiliates sell for a profit.

Among the most influential promoters behind the DSL course is Johnny FD. He’s a fellow digital nomad living in Chang Mai, and he constantly claims that this course was the inspiration that took him to creating his own business online; that’s why he dedicates himself to promote the course via the AntonMethod, an affiliate page he uses for that purpose.

Johnny says he made around $3,000 monthly thanks to his dropshipping business selling sun beds and massage tables, but he sold the business not too long ago for a bit over $60,000.

Do note that Johnny also has a course himself, and it’s called “Drop Ship Lab”. However, the course has been inactive for a really long time, so it’s safe to say it’s dead by now.

Why is it popular among reviews?

DSL came out almost 8 years ago, back in 2012. From the get-go, it sported an affiliate marketing program for different marketers to profit from promoting it.

These people would earn up to 50% of the course’s price for each referral. Back then, the entry price was almost a fourth part of what it costs now: $250, so that means each referral would net you $125; it’s a dream come true, even more so for people just starting.

People following John Chow and others who make $2,000 for each commission won’t be as surprised, especially today, but this was a huge deal back then.

Naturally, the course attracted countless affiliates who wanted to promote it through Clickbank from 2012’s December all the way to November 2014; most people didn’t even know whether or not the course was any good.

It showed on the different reviews made for the course. Virtually all of them were just promoting the same images available on the course’s sales page.

However, it has mostly died out until the recent release and seeming revamp of the course. Most reviews available on the internet are from before 2016, but many may start appearing with its revival.

Of course, Affiliates competed to get on the first results in Google searches, and they even headed over to YouTube and any channels that could get them the audience. Even CPA sites like Flexoffers brokered this offer to myriads of affiliates looking to build their links and handle all the traffic they could get.

As such, Anton ended up having a huge amount of people taking the course, and it got to the point that he claimed to be a multi-millionaire by the start of 2015. Of course, he said that it was from dropshipping, but once you multiply the course’s price by the course’s students count (over 2,500), it’s easy to determine what took him there.

At this moment, something really shady happens: Anton just got rid of all the affiliate marketers who had promoted his course and netted him the new members. In less than a day, the entire affiliate program vanished without any kind of warning, paying all pending commissions.

After doing this, he installed a new rule for people wanting to promote it: they had to pay and be a member if they wanted to promote it.

In other words, the course turned completely into an MLM business like Wealthy Affiliate or MOBE. Just look for any product available online and its reviews; odds are you’ll see that the writer rated it poorly and compared it to one of those two (or another) courses.

Of course, it’s not as big as other names, but it’s still an MLM network with an (at least) shady past.

When you pay for a subscription and become a DSL member, you can freely promote that course. That’s more enticing than it seems. Let’s say you paid $2,000 for it; that would mean that you just need to get 2 more people to sign up.

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this approach. It’s a legitimate business practice, and it’s really efficient. However, it does provide you with an idea of how the course became so famous and filled with positive reviews, so don’t just assume it’s because of its quality.

Finally, note that getting refunds with MLM businesses is a real challenge. You need to read every single line on all contracts since most offer you a 30-day guarantee before asking you to follow annoying steps just to prove that you didn’t really benefit from it. Often times, the steps could even cost you or be impossible for some people.

What you really get

This course has grown a lot since it was first released, and it’s now on version 7.0, which was updated back in April of this year (2019). While it has changed quite a bit, and it’s certainly larger, the course is still presented like it was during its release: WordPress website with the Optimizepress add-on.

What did change a lot is the price. It was $250 back when it was release, or you could pay $2,997 for the ultimate offer, complete with a store already done for you. If you don’t really die over the main components, you can pay $1,997 for the first iteration of this course.

Back in January 2017, the lowest plan was priced at $997, so you can see it almost quadrupled. Furthermore, as of this article’s writing, the premium plan costs $2,997; the ultimate, done-for-you offer has reached the $4,997 mark.

What feels wrong with this is that most updates are just design changes, a few more videos, and some corrections. It’s not enough (in my opinion) to warrant such a high increase. Don’t take these numbers as give, either; the price is always changing, so if you read this in a few months, it’ll probably be higher.

Back in the 4th version of this course, the course split into 4 different plans. However, the 5th version then removed the basic plan, or at least it merged both the basic and premium plans together, so today, the cheapest plan is $2,997.

However, for the sake of keeping you in context, let’s go through the 3 plans as originally planned. That’ll help you have an idea of what was offered before compared to what is offered right now.

Basic plan

The basic plan started out at $250 during its release, and it was maintained for a few years. However, the last price tag it had was $997 right before it was merged into the premium plan. Version 4.0 had recreated videos, but the content overall was always the same, so it started feeling outdated quickly.

The content was mostly basic: the type of videos you could find online. However, the basic plan did include the entire video course, and it covered almost everything: from explaining the business model to finding your suppliers and growing your business. The problem was mostly whether or not the information was actually good.

The most recent videos added do include more modern concepts like Adwords and an entire design class for eCommerce not available until the 4th version.

Anton advises students to keep organic search away and instead just go to Google Adwords. That means pretty much just to forget about SEOn your website. That’s really a bad idea since you’re giving up free traffic, and using Adwords is also a fairly expensive method, especially for some niches like clothing and electronics.

You also got a custom theme for Shopify with the basic plan, and you could use it to create a store in minutes. The problem with this theme is that there are thousands of people taking the course, and all of them have access to this theme, so you’d risk your store looking too similar to your competition.

Besides, Google ranks duplicate websites lower, and the same is true for most search algorithms.

Premium plan

This subscription come with everything that the basic package included and a few additions. It used to cost $497, and it offered users 55 advanced modules for training as well as access to both the DSLabs and private apps, software and a supplier directory.

The DSLabs is a section with checklists, scripts for supplier contact, and some standard operation procedures ready for you. There’s also an app for Shopify; it automates several processes for your business, but it isn’t the best app available for that purpose.

This plan repeats the same problem as the template from the basic plan (which is also included here). The scripts are the same that thousands of businesses are getting as well, so you’ll just follow the herd if you decide to use them as is.

The best you can do is just call the supplier and request to speak with someone who can make business with you. Emailing is something everyone can do, but you want to show initiative and that you can “get things done”.

The directory does stand out; it’s surprising thanks to the large amount of suppliers you get. However, you can pay for a service like Salehoo to get thousands of suppliers anywhere around the world. Always remember that everyone taking this course will surely hit the same suppliers for business.

Salehoo is just $65, and it has more suppliers and details on each.

Since this plan already had everything from the basic plan, the team decided to just merge the two. As I’m writing this, this plan is the cheapest option, yet it costs $2,997.

Done for you plan

The last package started out at $2,997, and it was the most exclusive and expensive offer on the course. The fact that now the most accessible option has that same price could put a lot of people off.

This package has the DSL team setting up the website so that you don’t have to. You’re then able to use the free time for learning the content and growing your business without any distractions.

Aside from the website, it also offers 2 hours for you to call Anton directly and get coaching. You also get 2 exclusive tickets for a DSL yearly retreat that’s held in either Vietnam, Laos, or Thailand.

Thailand is the most common destination, and the retreats gather different nomads from anywhere around the globe for networking and sharing in general.

I didn’t pay for this package, so I can’t really tell you a lot about it. However, people signing up for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd versions of this course got their retreat tickets every year for a lot less (sever thousands).

You should try to hit Anton with an email, but you can definitely go to that retreat without paying the package’s price. It’s actually a bit unfair for some people, and I can understand that.

DSL version 5

The 5th version of the course is one of the most important changes it’s gotten since its release. For starters, it removed the basic plan and merged it with the premium package to make a single offer; however, it’s just removing the basic subscription since the premium already had everything from it.

It added a new module regarding a USA business setup if you’re overseas, which was actually a pretty good addition. It also raised the asking price to $1,997 for the package ($1,000 cheaper than today).

This version also emphasized the MLM aspect of the course. Even more so, the page where you sign up for the course doesn’t show any prices until about the 3rd sales video starts.

During the videos, the course promises a solid refunds policy with the 30-day guarantee, but you must read every detail carefully, for this is a catchy statement. All conditions are fairly reasonable, but you need to prove you completed the program before you ask for a refund. You won’t get it if you can’t show that.

The problem is how this is a contradiction to its 30-day guarantee.

The guarantee says that you get access to all the content without risks, and you can try all the content. You can email support if you aren’t satisfied within the first month, proving you’re completing tasks but not seeing results. The refund is 100% of what you paid.

It also says that you must only join if your intention is to complete the tasks since that’s necessary for getting the results advertised. If a refund is requested, you need to prove you’ve completed these tasks.

As you can see, the guarantee says that you can take the entire course for free, and you can cancel your subscription at any time as long as you can show you’ve been working on it and achieving the tasks.

There’s zero mentions on having to finish the complete course before you ask for a reason, so you’re left to guess which of the two conditions are worth following. Do note that taking the entire course may take you more than 30 days, so you can see how sketchy the whole policy is.

Reasons not to buy it

Now you know pretty much everything you can learn about the course itself and what you receive after signing up. You may have formed your own conclusions regarding if you want it or not, but let me explain why you should not buy the course before you make the final call.

Price

As with similar courses on similar topics, the price really goes beyond the content and value it actually offers. While it started off somewhat OK at $250 for the basic plan, the constant increases with each version took it far off from what it should actually cost, especially with so many resources available online for much less or for free.

So, no. This course isn’t worth more than what it asked at first, and it’s definitely not worth $2,997.

If you want to build a business on dropshipping, you want to take the time to analyze all the costs. Anton says you need hard work before you have a successful eCommerce and become rich; you need to invest your money if you want to make it.

Anton said his business started with just $29 before making him $1.8 million, but there are costs involved with building your site, hosting, marketing, etc. If you don’t know how to do something (and there’s always stuff you won’t know), then you can add hiring other people to that, and that’s a few thousands extra.

If you add this course’s price to all the investment you must make, then you’ll quickly inflate your budget, and it’ll reach unnecessarily high levels. Sellers definitely inflated the price thanks to its popularity, and it’s understandable.

However, the content and quality of the course itself hasn’t grown with its cost.

Shopify exclusive

This course assumes you’re going to build your store with Shopify. In fact, Anton has affiliates links to the platform, and he’ll make money from every purchase from his links. Additionally, the only training available on store building is for Shopify, so you’ll have to get extra knowledge from different sources if you want to use another platform.

Another problem behind that is the fact that Shopify can be quite expensive for a lot of people, especially for newcomers.

Hosting on Shopify costs about $300 every year. If you want a larger business, then you also want to invest on the standard plan for $79 each month, which makes it to about $900 every year. Add a transaction fee for every sale that can go up to 2% and the costs for additional apps you integrate into your store.

Outside from the fundamentals, the free templates on Shopify aren’t the best available, and most people will be using them. That means you want to get a premium theme as well or hire a developer. Getting a theme can add up to $100-200 more.

You can see how the exclusiveness is an issue. You’re paying for an overpriced the course that focuses only on methods requiring you spend more money.

Niche content

The knowledge offered on finding a niche for your business is just mediocre, and even free resources like YouTube videos and articles give you more depth and value. In fact, most negatives reviews for the DSL course will gravitate around this issue.

One of the most important steps to setting up your business is to know what you want to sell, and choosing a bad niche will kill your business from the first day. You want to take your time studying the market and find a niche that’s not oversaturated or already take by a giant like Amazon.

The only consolation is that Anton offers to validate your niche for you before you start your venture. The problem is that even this can be sketchy depending on how you look at it: it may be help, or you may give him a great idea, so he could easily tell you not to do it and keep the niche for himself.

Lack of SEO

As we already mentioned when describing the content in the course, Anton doesn’t endorse organic traffic on search engines, so you can forget about any knowledge regarding SEO and the like.

Anton often says that it simply takes too long to get sales if you take your time on SEO, and that’s why he recommends you go straight for Adwords. While it could make sense for some, it’s yet another hefty expense for many entrepreneurs.

Now, let’s paint a picture.

You just paid $2,997 for the course and $79 for your website. Well, you also need to spend around $500 on Google advertising. Now, a lot of people can do it, and many actually do, but there are people who will take the course just to realize that their venture is way out of their reach.

The sales video won’t state the costs for the methods taught by this course, and chances are you’re only going to find that out once you finished the course and started putting the lessons into practice.

Anton tries to lessen the pain by offering coupons and some training modules on the platform, but this approach is still difficult, and anyone without experience will probably just burn their budget quickly and get no sales or even leads.

Anton only teaches you about what worked for his business, and it seems SEO isn’t one of them, so you’re left to figure out if you’re as lucky as he was.

Other members joined for less

This is another issue I already mentioned: most people you see in the students’ community subscribed to it earlier and for a lot less than you. Since the course started getting upgraded, they stated that everyone who paid first would have free access to all versions. Anton set the price to $497 before version 3 closed so that he could have more money for developing the 4th version.

That means that all members got the content for $1,000 less than you (at least, remember it started out at $250). They also have free tickets for the retreat that would cost you almost $5,000.

This isn’t just paying more than others; it means you’re severely handicapped. Why?

First, your competitors started off with lower expenses, but that’s just the start. Remember that the content doesn’t really get updated with each version besides some design and retakes. The knowledge offered today is roughly the same available when it was released.

Think about the templates and directories again; other people got them years before you, so they’re probably saturated already. You won’t really get good results by using them.

As such, keep in mind that most people who have taken the course are probably inactive. They’ve either reached success and left the community, or they just bombed or realized dropshipping wasn’t the gold mine they expected.

Non-US students

Until nearly 3 years ago, the course didn’t offer any knowledge for people wanting to settle an overseas business or outside the country. It lacked nothing on the legal side of things and taxes, so students had to go to another source if they had doubts on these.

If you’re not from the US, then you need to qualify as a type of USA entity before working with dropshippers there. If you want to do the same with European dropshippers, then you want to be registered as a business or trader there with a VAT.

Anton simply skipped the overall legal side of things for US or European supplier, likely because of how popular is AliExpress. You can register in Delaware or Wyoming, but that would lead to an entirely new article.

Luckily, Anton decided to add a brief course on this matter starting 2017. It still isn’t the best you can get, and you’ll likely need other resources, but at least it’s there.

Is dropshipping a good business?

That’s a tricky answer depending on whom you ask. Dropshipping isn’t the same gold mine it was almost 10 years ago when people started getting into it, and Amazon wasn’t as huge as it is right now.

However, now it’s really hard to compete with the prices at Amazon, and you have to spend a lot of time and research to find a niche that you can take advantage of over Amazon. Just make sure to keep track of Best Buy or Walmart.

Most suppliers will also prefer to work with Amazon than smaller independent businesses like dropshippers. They can actually guarantee the sales suppliers want.

With the dozens of courses like DSL, hundreds of dropshipper now want to start the same business with the same niches, products, and suppliers –all at the same price.

Making money with dropshipping requires that you set your business apart from the rest; that’s how you can really make money with this model. The issue is how that means going against half the advice available with Drop Ship Lifestyle.

You need to find products and suppliers no one else knows, and that means forgetting about all directories, scripts and themes available in DSL.

So, to answer the question, you can make money from dropshipping, but you need to know how to do so in the right way.

Better resources for your money

If you’re not looking for just a community but to build a prosperous business, then you should look at the following options. For the price of a basic DSL plan, you can buy all of the following and still have something to spare.

eCom Elites

This is easily the best course available for people looking to dropship. You have more than 175 videos, adding up to around 40 hours covering the model, selecting products, marketing, and everything related.

I’ve seen many courses, and promoting a $2,000+ course would get me more money, but I’d rather recommend value, and eCom Elites gives you all you need for just $197. If you wanted the community, you have access to the private Facebook group and weekly videos.

If you’re looking for good information and training to do thigs yourself, then eCom Elites is the best choice, and you don’t even have to empty your bank account.

eCom Turbo (theme)

As I said before, the free Shopify templates aren’t the best you can get, and thousands are probably already using them.

Most people complaining about not getting sales despite the visitors is simply the esthetics of their business and zero mobile responsiveness. While it may look great on desktop, most sales will come from smartphone users.

eCom Turbo takes care of everything you expect from a theme and more. Visitors won’t have to scroll at all to know what they’re going to buy since all the details show above the fold.

You can also personalize this theme to fit any taste. You don’t have to spend hundreds and hours looking for a theme that goes with what you want since you can transform eCom Turbo any way you wish, and it’s just $97 for lifetime access to its updates.

Salehoo

Salehoo is a supplier directory for dropshippers and wholesale contacts. It’s been available for more than 10 years, and its reputation speaks for itself.

Salehoo gives you access to more than 10,000 different resources spread amongst many countries, including the US, UK, Australia, New Zealand and Europe, so you don’t have to look too hard to find the one that suits you best.

WooCommerce or Shopify

Finally, you need a platform for your website, and these two are the best options

WooCommerce is best for people with experience regarding WordPress and website hosting since it’s completely free. It comes from the folks at WooThemes, and you can customize this add-on however you want. If you want even more options, there are premium plugins for less than $15 on ThemeForest.

The only issue with WooCommerce is that you need to pay for your hosting separately.

Shopify is another choice for people with a bit more money at hand. The cheapest plan is $29, but as I said, you probably want to go for the $79 standard subscription. Besides the initial fee, make sure to take a look at the price structure since your sales volume will change according to it.

Final Verdict

Is It Worth It? Final Verdict

DSL is definitely a promising course, but the cost is simply too high. Besides its initial cost, it only covers the most expensive approaches like Shopify along with Adwords.

By going for the options below, you can start your business on the right foot for less than $1,000, and you can use the extra $2,000 for those Adwords if you want, which will be paired with a solid SEO for organic traffic.

I hope you found this review useful and if you have any questions, please comment down below. I’ll be more than happy to assist you.

Once again, thanks for reading my Dropship Lifestyle Review and I wish you the best of luck.

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[littlestuffstohide]

When only “Now” Exists

AN: It’s not me but I had to get this out of my chest. Year 2017 is a rollercoaster. I take a long time to write things. An unfinished piece that started 2016. I opened my docs and saw and and though I might as well finish this one. Everything is still good. Warnings for sensitive topics like seizure disorder, depression, drugs, drug addiction. If you don’t want to read this, please skip this story.

Summary: He had a bright future. He had everything he needed. Now, there was nothing. All he could do is try to hang on.

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He sat up, sweat covering his whole body, harsh breathing, emotions wired up. He tried to think only he couldn't. There was nothing. An empty space. A blank canvas. He couldn’t remember how long it took for time to move. The past didn't seem to exist. There was only the confusion of “now”. The only thing that felt real was this void and the desire to have something fill it. The first that came was the coldness seeping in. The dotted stars made him realize it was night. What day is it? What was the last thing he remembered?! Think Natsu, think. He scolded himself. Fingers trembled. Why couldn't he remember? Why? He didn’t even realize the panicky feeling trying to take over. Then warm but small nimble fingers sought his own. His fingers still shook. The scenery started to wane. Colors blurred. Black spots hit his vision. Then a small but familiar body pushed him down. Golden locks, worried but somewhat determined chocolate eyes hit his.

“Natsu?” Her voice called.

His vision waned but the familiarity soothed him. He didn't know why but he felt like it would be okay. Then he blacked out.

The sun’s rays his his eyes, So soon? It was morning already? He wanted to turn and sleep some more. Morning? Why morning? He tried to think only that he couldn't remember? He felt shaky. Did it happen again? He gulped. Breathe. He told himself to. He was here and that was-

Hands pulled his cheeks to face hers, or rather, Lucy’s.

“Lucy?”

Her eyes teared a bit and then her small arms enveloped him to a hug, making him fall back to the soft mattress.

Natsu felt his body relaxing, his own arms moved to wove his to Lucy's.

“It’ll be okay,” Lucy mumbled to his chest.

He listened to his breathing. He counted. He listened to hers that raced with his.

Her warmth soothed any fear he had. He shut his brain off. He didn't want to think. The only thing that mattered was Lucy. She was here. That was all he needed to know.

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He couldn't remember when it started, or how it came to be. One day he was messing around with Lucy on her bed, then his next memories was a blur.

There was Igneel’s worried face. He remembered that much when he woke up. A doctor asking him a few things. And then was Wendy's worried face. She was seemed more worried. And an odd set of questions of his last memory.

All he remembered was playing around with Lucy.

“Where was Lucy?” Natsu had asked. His father smiled a little at that.

“She went to pick up some food.” Wendy answered, eyes more focused than usual. As if Wendy's words were a sign, Lucy was back, carrying food enough for an army. The army was him and Igneel.

Her eyes glowed with happiness at the sight of him.

He didn't remember much afterwards, the medicine given made him too groggy.

The next one he awoke to was Porlyusica, a family friend doctor checking on him. She mumbled weird things as usual about him being a stupid human. As soon as she was done, Lucy and Wendy were with him. Igneel came back later, smiling a bit too cheerfully.

“Kid, just need to do a few tests here and you’re home free.” His grinning dad, ruffled his hair a bit.

Lucy and Wendy seemed cheerful enough. They were always ready to talk his ear off. Both stayed as much as they could but Lucy and Wendy eventually had to go home for school and all.

The results were neither good or bad. An undetected brain infection. That was most what the tests showed. Porlyusica all but specifically said that a small part in his brain didn't repair properly and he couldn't function like before. It was something that possibly happened when he was a kid. He had to drink this stupid medicine every night. He wasn't allowed overexerting activities. That meant sports career is not for him. And his sleep hours were important. Eight hours of sleep, the doctor said.

“That doesn't mean you can't do things. Just that you just need to be a little careful! Good thing you have Lucy as your hot, and caring girlfriend!” Igneel joked after getting him home.

As long as he drank his medicine he was fine.

That was what he thought until a few months passed.

There were the little things. The little few moment where he can’t seem to think. Like his brain turned off and he could not process anything. When he was cooking and couldn’t remember if he added a certain ingredient or if he not. Sometimes, he could just not recall if he had paid his own meal or the dinners him and Lucy had for dates.

Before he knew it his dosage had to go up. It started from having meds added after a few attacks. The seizures always came out of nowhere. He could be talking about the weather or sleeping and it would hit him. They were unpredictable. If he missed even once, he would suffer from withdrawals. His brain needed them to live.

The mood swings just drove everyone wild. He could go from trigger happy to down right depressed. Some days felt good, so good that he could do anything. Some days, he felt he was worthless. His future used to be so bright was now so bleak. He was lucky he had a loving family, friends and a special someone. Sometimes he didn’t know how why everyone stuck around. That was not him. He hated the burden he had become, or how he had changed.

He was a fighter through and through. His illness isn't something that would make stop living despite the protests doctors gave him about his lifestyle. He thought he could handle it. So he might have pushed Lucy to do a trip a bit away from Magnolia. They fought about it. It took him weeks and weeks to get everyone to agree. He swallowed his pride. He might have also forgotten to drink his medicine once or twice.

He wanted to give Lucy a treat.

Or give her a happy weekend. Even if he had this illness, he will fight tooth and nail to give her the happiness she deserves.

They didn’t even reach out of town when it happened.

Lucy was driving. Both were singing off tune songs that could make anyone cry. And then there was nothing. For him it was a blink; to others, it was a nightmare.

Just like every other time, he woke up like a blank slate. There was only a familiar voidness. His eyes expected to see the same boring white ceiling almost every time this happened. What he saw instead was a black dotted ceiling designed to look like stars. He sat up, clenching and unclenching. On his other hand was a familiar soft hands. Golden locks on his lap. A soft face. Though her eyes were closed, he could tell she had cried. A soft breeze blew into the room, making him look to the left to see the beautiful view of the sea.

He could not for the life of him remember how he got to this room. He vaguely remembered on a road with Lucy but that was it.

No past, no future. There was only now. A “now” that could fill the void with something.

There was no helping him. No saving him. Only time until everything ends. One day, he would lose even his “now”. As bleak his future was, his fingers woving through her hair, he will fight. He failed but one day he won't. Until his “now” disappears.

He knew Lucy was the same. She woke up minutes later, clenching his hands along with him. Assuring herself, like he did that he was still with her.

Soft brown eyes stared into black. A few seconds passed.

“We made it here. though you were asleep most of the way”. Lucy began, eyes warm as if nothing had happened.

“Awww. I can't believe I missed the sights!” Natsu grumbled.

Lucy only smiled. It's okay, her smile told him. You're still here and I will fight with you to stay.

“Not my fault, you slept the whole way! You can look at the views when we return home!” She laughed despite the pout Natsu had.

That's right. It wasn't just his fight. It was also Lucy's. Had it been any other person, he would have been brought to the hospital. But Lucy knew him. She went on and brought him to where he wanted to go. He appreciated her all the more. No words could give him comfort with how good she was to him. Even if it must have scared her. Even if her heart was against it.

Then he pulled her, lifting her with ease despite her protests.

“Natsu-”

“Come here my moon!” he teased.

“Moon? Another lousy nickname?”, though Lucy was laughing despite this.

“Let's cuddle a bit before exploring the place!” he held her against him, hoping to find hope despite his fear. He let his for head touch hers, their little thing of a kiss. His fingers shook a bit, but Lucy's smaller hands just held them, keeping him safe.

Keeping him safe until his end comes.

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Fin

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AN: This was supposed to be more angst but end somewhat fluffy. Still not a happy ending. This was originally based in real life. Not me but someone close. Just aspects of it. Tell me how you like it. Please do ignore my bad grammar. I will fix this. One day.

#angst #warnings placed #nalu #nalu angst #my writing #unedited #because i'm just so lazy #if i keep this as a draft #another year will pass #truth #rizzie writes

[tayegi]

Ahhhh I love how u ended chapter 11 of NR!!! I am SO here for OC calling jk out on his bullshit 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Anonymous said:Lu, I think this was my favourite chapter of new rules so far. This one really hit home for me – a similar thing happened to me before with a guy, said he liked me, but treated me like a walking vagina and then he turned round and got a girlfriend like I meant nothing. And this chapter really brought it back for me, you wrote it so well and the emotions feel very raw. I also love the friendship portrayal of Yerin and Mijoo, it's nice to see that chicks before dicks mentality in a fic for once :)

thotitup said:the new chapter of NR is amazing!!! I usually finish chapters needing a new one for closure/satisfaction but this one could be the ending and i would be just fine!! girl said what she had to say and went into the storm (metaphor for heartbreak and epiphany journey?) by herself like a BOSS ASS BITCH. Jk is cancelled until he grows up, nice work xxx

Anonymous said:Jeon jungkook really is a fucking coward. I was crying with oc the whole time. What I really respect about her though is her bravery to tackle on her problems headon. She's afraid but that didn't stop her from confessing her feelings and calling jungkook out, laying her feelings out there in a room full of frat boys. I would neverbe able to do that. She shows her strengths even in her weakest moments. She's definitely one of my fav oc in existence. Thank you for writing this!!

Anonymous said:being a lesbian really do be the best thing to ever happen to me bc men AINT IT ! love ur fic x amazing as always :)))uwu

Anonymous said:The OC spitting the truth in JK's face?? "You're not the relationship type ? "..." You love that shit." & the "It'd be easier to get over you"? I could've cried it was amazing I love her so much. And JK too but she is right. She doesn't have to endure all of his insecurities & unsolved issues. Sure he very probably have his reasons. But if he doesn't try to work on them with her, she doesn't have to suffer from it. She grew up a lot during the series. Thanks to him for a part. It's his turn now.

Anonymous said:A thing that I really wanted to tell you is how the O/C of New Rules pushed me to be more vocal and supportive to other women. I honestly think that she is a person to look up to. Although she has flaws (as other humans), I consider her a role model for what she does for other women. Thank you so much for this story. ⭐️

Anonymous said:BITCH IM SCREAMING U UPDATED NEW RULES !!!!! Ok I just finished reading and like..... damn..... ur mind.... the way you've fleshed out ur characters is so incredible you've spent so much time carving these characters like they're 3d yo also y/n is such a bad bitch !! She needs to listen to that vibe "I'm a bad bitch! U cant kill me!" This ask is all over the place but just know uh I love this story the characters the writing the dialogue & u obviously. Thank u for sharing ur talent w us kween 💖

Anonymous said:This chapter squeezed my heart so bad but I am SO happy that OC stood up for herself in the end I literally LOVED her speech especially about the toxic masculinity, im proud that she was able to speak out what she was feeling and hopefully it got through to jk who obviously has some emotional barrier or something, this whole chapter is so relevant to hookup culture and young relationships and ppl often don’t confront others with their feelings so this was rlly refreshing

Anonymous said:I LOVE NR!!! I just love the new chapter. Expecially the last part where the OC finally call jungkook out! You really are amazing Lu

Anonymous said:I love how multidimensional all of the characters in NR are holy shit. I could probably go in depth on a bunch of examples, but I think the OC stood out to me the most in this chapter. I've read fics about strong women before which is awesome but sometimes they're just like... unrealistically strong where they can immediately brush off their feelings. I'm SO HAPPY you write the OC where she's obviously affected by the rejection but realizes that she has to be there for Yerin and wow I love her

Anonymous said:when the oc barged into the frat house I was so proud of her like yes queen! tell them how disgusting toxic masculinity is! go go go ❤️ thank you so much for updating lu 💛

Anonymous said:i thought that the oc was brave because she confessed her feeling and we all know how much courage you have to muster to let yourself be so vulnerable BUT when she called out jungkook???? in front of those frat fuckbois????? that was so fucking bad ass, i really love her with all my heart because it doesn’t matter how much she’s hurting, she’s always showing a confident & strong facade

lovemusicn1d said:Luuuu, I love the fact that the main character is subjected to the idea of "grow up and get your shit together" for having what I personally think is a normal reaction to being treated the way she was by Jungkook, whereas at the end she grabs the situation at hand and flings it back into the depths of hell where it belongs because fuck the idea that emotions are weak and THANK YOU for having her confront that issue and making it so she doesn't let herself be shamed for what she feels altogether.

Anonymous said:hi! thank you for updating us with such an empowering & strong chapter of new rules!!! i immediately told all my friends that u updated and was always amazed by ur characterization of the oc!!! she is such a boss i love ur work it really inspired me a lot thank you

Anonymous said:thanks for ch 11!! short but intense! i thought this chapter would make me feel sad in a way due to jungkook's actions, but instead it ended with me feeling empowered lmfao!!! rooting for the oc and how she stuck up for herself! i loved the part about the discord between giving and receiving love and toxic masculinity. it's something society still struggles with today ugh.

Anonymous said:Chapter 11 is my favorite of the story so far!!! So many things happened in one chapter aaahhhh. Go OC! Hit him with the truth!!! As what Red Velvet says "Shot another bad boy down."

bangtan-sai said:OC from the new chapter of new rules is incredibly brave! She confessed and didn't try to backtrack. Even when Jungkook avoided her she continued to try to talk to him. She called him out in front of all those people. She may have found it difficult to do these things but she still found the courage to do them and I think that's amazing 💖

Anonymous said:Chap 11 made me feel things and i really do admire the oc a lot after this chapter. I love that she stood up for herself when jk was trying to make her feel like it was a one-sided r/s. The way he reacted to her confession was uncalled for, and it was very brave of the oc to call him out for being a coward and pushing her away. It certainly wasn't easy given how his friends were "mocking" her towards the end and the fact that she held her head high makes me want to root for her even more!!💖 💖

taetata95 said:I feel so like !!!! idk like I’ve been waiting for oc to kick jungkooks ass and THE WAY SHE STORMED IN THERE I LOVED IT I’ve been meaning to message you about new rules I love it it breaks my heart ngl the way she thinks about herself but I want to see oc kick some ass and IM BASICALLY READING IT FOR OC I LOV HER

Anonymous said:YES GO GIRL JUST GET OVER THAT LIL SHIT. YOU DESERVE BETTER. men and their toxic masculinity can fuck off srsly ugh

Anonymous said:I finally got to reading ch 12 of NR tonight and ended up in tears at the last scene when oc stands up to jungkook in front of all his other frat brothers. Telling them they’re a bunch of children that clings to their toxic masculinity, that was really cool of her and i wish i could be as courageous. i’ve always been proud of NR oc but i love her even more!

Anonymous said:“Because it’ll be so easy getting over you.” Yaaaaaasss girl throw it in his face. This line made me want to both cry from the angst and jump up and down cheering OC on for her confidence. I know people are sad about them ending, but I'm excited for the next part of this fic. Jungkook really has been an asshat so I'm happy OC finally realized his issues and confronted him.

LAKSDJFLSDFJ this makes me so happy!!! there is nothing i love more than girls supporting girls

and this esp makes me happy bc i have been planning this exact confrontation scene since like sept 2017 and was so nervous about it! in fact, the last line “it’ll be so easy getting over you” was prob the one thing that inspired me to write this entire, enormous, monstrous fic in the first place. so im so relieved that it’s out there and more importantly, that you guys have related to it so much klasdjf you guys are the best and i love you all

#new rules #new rules ch 11 #beautiful ppl #felixdwqins

[elliesproblems]

To whom it may concern,

Chapter Two

Meeting the Other Jays

Entry: December 23rd, 2017

Sometimes I try to save my own life. I get these big boosts of energy like all of a sudden I’m ready to put my life back on the rails. It’s never worked the past dozen energy boosts, but it’s something to look forward to. Maybe it doesn’t get better, but at least it’s not all shit on the downhill path to nowhere.

    Right now though? Right now, doesn’t count towards anything. It feels like I’m walking in a dream where I would soon wake up to real life. Everything here is just a figment of my imagination, even cars I’ve never seen before or jokes I’ve never heard before.

    Or maybe I’m still coming down from the worst high of my life and it has badly scrambled my concept of reality versus multiple dimensions. Sure, I had always joked about ‘sleep Jay’ and her irritating knack for giving away my things in the middle of the night. It started out with missing nose rings and earrings, and then to missing blankets only to find them across the room in my sisters bed. My roommate had an idea it was just ‘me trying to be nice’ and while I’m awake I have the very needed, ‘no wait, I need this thing I want to give away’, but ‘sleep Jay’ doesn’t have the second following piece of thought.

    All in all, I never meant that ‘sleep Jay’ was another whole being. I said it as a joke and it just stuck. I never thought I believed in the multiverse theory either, but here I am, not completely sure if I’m in the right dimension.

    December 23rd, 2017

    For the first time in several years it feels like Christmas is actually coming, but for now, that’s just a side note.

    Last night we went to T***'s house and for once, I took a hit out of his new gravity bong, or whatever they’re called. At first it was like I couldn’t breath, which wasn’t that much more awful than what I’m used to. I’m always a bad cougher so I didn’t think anything of it.

    But as it settled in and the high made residence in my head, it was beginning to feel way different than the usually lightheadedness and overheating body that I was used to. It was as if everything was moving like stop animations, always catching the main movement, but there’s frames missing here and there. I could see the three frames at once, the new frame pushing the old one out, and it’s a lot like how television shows a first person point of view before the pass out. But I never passed out. Instead, I could feel the sensations from each frame as well; E***'s hand on mine in frame one and the cool hitting my hand when she let go in frame three. The frames didn’t last long, it was still relatively a fluid movement for stop animation.

    I haven't spoken since I stopped coughing and for a while I couldn't figure out how to open my mouth, much less let words out. It was a little too much like I forgot to move my body and my brain was sitting at the control panel with buttons it’s never seen before. What I did realize though, is that when I ran my fingers over my arm, not only did I have the tripled sensation from my fingertips, but I also had the sensation from my arm in a total of six different feelings at once. It made me laugh uncontrollably how much it tickled. And I’m sure I looked a little unsettling to my friends, just sitting on an air mattress tapping my arm like someone would a desktop when they are bored or just want to make noise, and laughing my head off after a while of being silent and unresponsive. I knew I look like one of those high idiots who’s all giggles and rocks back and forth like a psycho on tv, but it was the only way to keep the frames moving so I took to the roll very well. The weird part was I was all mentally there, watching my real body fall apart like a mad man.

    Someone where along the line, I figured out how to open my mouth other than to laugh, but T***, who has a tendency to block out what makes him uncomfortable, wasn’t listening to my attempts at explaining what I was experiencing. Which, to be fair, the words coming out didn’t make sense to me either, but I was trying to explain with the idea that everything your experiencing is a simulation and there’s people in white suits all controlling your sensations via computer while your real body sits in a tube of liquid, and something really went wrong with the visuals of the computer because there was some serious lag going on here. He didn’t listen long enough for me to get my words right anyways, he kept apologizing for the cat like I wasn’t saying anything. No matter how long I got into my spewl, he’s interrupt with an apology identical to the one before it and, possibly I was witnessing a visual loop and I would just see the same thirty seconds over and over for what seem like a total of three minutes before I gave up trying to explain.

    I look at his stereo instead, making sure I can see more than just him and the wall behind. Neither one of them ask me what I was going to say, and he apologizes for the cat again. I know I need to hold it together, even though I’m not really part of the scene happening in front of me, I can’t ruin it for whoever shoes I’m in. So I do my best to pretend I’m listening to whatever conversation they’re having.

    They’re eating tacos that I remember ordering earlier. The box in front of me has those cinnamon twisty things that I like so much, and I remember that I specifically asked for them. I never thought I would be so relieved to be in my own shoes. So I stand, refusing to pretend I’m someone else. Looking down at them feels a little like I’m watching them through a screen rather than in real time, but they look at me like they’re not sure if they want to ask. It’s a fair reaction I guess.

    I try to remember how to speak again, but I’ve only managed to cry. He turns back to his food in his best effort to block it out, my roommate is trying to understand what’s happened from my laughing to now. Yeah, that was me, I was the one laughing and now I’m the one crying when we’re supposed to be relaxing and eating junk food together like other millennials our age.

    I manage to tell her something's not right. I can’t explain how, I don’t know how anymore. I can’t remember what is supposed to be a normal high. I feel the need to tell her it’s me, and that I know all of this is real, and not some stupid computer simulation. I tell her I know this is nothing more than just a bad trip, but I still see the frames through my tears, and it’s like some of them belong to the person I was pretending to be, some of the things I am experiencing are not mine. But the frames keep moving and maybe I’m alone in a theatre with a really big movie screen that’s a little too easy to disassociate with. Maybe I never knew them at all. Maybe I am really just alone in a dark room dreaming to be some kid on screen having an existential crisis.

    But I end up laying on my side on the cheap air mattress and I can hear the air leak out of it three different times, but I can also hear my roommate heartbeat against my eardrum the correct number of times and I only feel her arms wrapped around me once. It’s as if I can cry whatever was frying my head out and the tears fell hoter on my skin than they should, but I only feel them once.

    I can manage to only look at one frame if I hold still, every moment causes a blur of other frames, but I’m in control of it now. I learned I can drum my fingers to control the frames; their speeds and how they feel on my skin. It feels like a index card roll you see on desks when I roll on my skin. It doesn’t tickle this time, but it’s addicting. I want the frames to stop ,I want it all to just go back to normal, god, I just want to go to sleep so it’ll be over. But I can’t, I have to drum my fingers on anything I can. I can’t stop going through the frames because then it all will stop and maybe I will cease to exist.

    There’s another experience in every frame, like not all of them or mine, or hers, or whoever's. But I know of all these people, they’re all in the same place as I am; on an air mattress in their roommates arms. They’re all Jays. They’re all me from different timelines, but they all have roughly the same story. They’re only enough differences for them to take this experience differently. Some are at a different state of panic, some are still coming down from the existential fear, a few are still in the theatre witnessing it all via screen, but all are in their roomates arms. The feelings flash before they are replaced with a new feeling from another Jay. As I begin to figure out which one owns the body, the variety of experiences get smaller and smaller.

    All the while, the closer I get to figuring out that what I am experiencing is nothing other than a bad reality constructed by a bad trip, the lesser the pain is, but the further I fall into psychosis, the hotter the feeling I have on my head like I’m wearing a crown.

    I manage to sort the feelings down to two Jays, hoping I didn’t accidentally throw out the real on in all my rushed sorting. But the final two I remember the clearest, because I know one was born out of fear.

    One, who I believe I am living out of right now, has gone through a hardship with T*** and a close friend of his almost two years ago. Things aren’t necessarily perfect, but they’ve begun to heal after so long. This Jay considers him a good friend, and despite her worry of the same thing happening twice, she hopes for the better.

    The second being the Jay who had been hurt as well by T*** and his roommate that she at one time considered a friend, and believed time had changed who T*** was. This Jay is too naive to figure out that the people she’s come to love and trust do not feel the same way, and despite their obvious expression of the truth, she’s too optimistic to see it.

    I fall asleep with both of them.

    The longer I sit on this information, the more I worry about the possibility that these Jays are the same person, and all that experience was, was the complexity of what the human eye sees and how the brain processes it and the many emotions someone is capable of feeling at once, just simplified like oil and water rather than mixed together.

    A part of me worries if I’m in the right dimension at all, and the possibility of the dimensions flipping rather than the Jays and I got stuck in Jay number twos world.

    Still, when I woke up, it was too much to have possibly happened in the real world and I wrote it off as a dream. But my roommate and T*** refuse to talk to each other in the morning, and she claims that he littered my head with trauma he won’t own up to. He seemed dodgy the next day, and she seemed angry.

    Perhaps I am Jay number two, and maybe I wound up still in the right dimension.

    The whole experience can be summed up in one of these dumb videos they have for explaining how your dreams reflect what you are truly feeling. I was still in and out about the whole ' I'm not Jay' idea, and for me to stand up, high out of my mind and refuse to pretend to be someone else, was a bold move that I never dared to replicate until almost a year later.

    I knew I didn't come out of that ordeal in one whole piece, but I didn't want to admit how literally broken up I was. The angry, and scared part that I no longer claimed, and gave to 'Jay' was still there. I never wanted to go back to her and the problems meant for the both of us.

#to whom it may concern. #chapter 2 #elliesproblems #ellies log #osdd system #osdd #did #disasociative identity disorder #weed #bad trip #bad trip tw #personal

[lovelacemagazine]

Jay Guevara Talks to OG ILLA About Music, Life, Success and MORE

The East End of Richmond native, OG ILLA, has been one of the cornerstones within the Richmond hip hop scene. He’s more than a rapper. He’s also a graphic designer, former VCU student, event planner, and promoter. He has been featured on Season one of the HennyNCoke Podcast, featured in the 2017 VirginiaGotNow Vibe Out Festival, and created a wave last year with his single Kareem that got play on Richmond’s 106.5 The Beat radio station. OG ILLA is coming out with his next project Illegal sometime soon after releasing a surprise EP Emotions earlier in September. 

I decided to interview OG ILLA because of his journey through various obstacles within his life and specifically the past twelve months.

J: Let me start off with your most recent track 2k feat The Uth 2k has more of an R&B vibe compared to the more upbeat energetic tracks you’re known for. It reminds me of the track you did with Skinnyy Hendrixx called Hittin’ Fo. Can you elaborate what mindset you were going into when you and The Uth came up with the track?

OG: BammBamm (the producer of the track) heard “Kareem” on the radio and reached out to me. He sent me a beat pack and told me I could have whatever I wanted. I went through it and I heard this beat… it was the first one that truly stood out to me… At the time, I was in a toxic relationship, I was dealing with my court case (facing 5-10 years for gun and drug charges) and honestly, I was like I truly want something better out of life.. I wanted my dreams to come to fruition and this hook kind of just came to me. Even though I was going through a lot I wanted to put positivity into something and I came up with “2K”. I was working on my album ILLEGAL with UTH and I went over to his studio with it. And man, this was definitely a track I put A LOT of work into. We must’ve recorded it 15 times over a span of 6 months. I re-wrote my verse probably 5 times because it was one of those things I really HAD to say exactly what I wanted to say exactly HOW I wanted to say it…

J: Back in August, you and other artists such as Ms. Proper, Reppa Ton, Big Al Harrison, Black Liquid, and more held a RVA Success Drive to raise awareness and collect school supplies for Richmond Public Schools. Before the school year ended, RPS had a few weeks where schools ran out of toilet paper and had an inadequate amount of other supplies. Was that situation your main influence for the school drive or were there more influences that went behind the curation of the drive?

OG: It was a mixture. My friend Tye hit us up and said let’s do something for the youth, I’m purchasing a bunch of bookbags and I want to do something to give back. We discussed and came up with the idea for a school drive. Naturally, I was put in charge of putting the event together and we decided after a meeting w/ Ms Proper to name it #RVASuccessDrive because we wanted to push that narrative. SUCCESS. Considering the problems in Richmond Public Schools, we DEFINITELY felt that situation was serious and wanted to help our city. It’s important to protect are youth AT ALL COST. They are the future and the only way they can have a chance is if we provide the best opportunities for that to happen. But it also is a personal thing for me as well. I grew up in the ghetto with a single mother, her abusive boyfriend and my 2 sisters… We WERE those kids, even after we got put into foster care, we were the kids getting donations, eating 2 free meals a day and having to really rely on the community to help us. I swore when I had a chance, I’d give back, and it’s just the first of many. Got other things planned for the community as well. *Wink wink*

J: How did you think the RVA Success Drive event turned out? I felt like that it was a very successful event. I had a great time at the event. The comedian from DC who hosted was hilarious and I loved the painting that the artist from North Carolina did.

OG: It was just that. A SUCCESS. We raised 3 boxes worth of school supplies and $260 in money which we went to Walmart and spent all of that on more school supplies and delivered them to Elkhardt Middle School.

J: Let’s get into more about you and your trials and tribulations. You’re transparent about growing up in foster care within your interviews and in your music. If you could, can you elaborate on how some imperative experiences that came with it affected how you developed your mentality today.

OG: Well, I don’t let it define me. And I never liked being “that kid” but it shaped mentally because I had to survive. On my own. Bouncing from foster home to foster home, juvenile detention, and group homes. Really trying to process it all now still to be honest. Dealt with neglect, abuse and really trying to find my place in life. but I have to say part of it was a blessing. My mother was poor, and my father was non-existent so when I was put into foster care I went to a more affluent side of town and even though I still didn’t have money or “finer things” I got to see a different type of lifestyle that inspired me. I wasn’t stuck in the slums mentally or physically anymore. I saw there was more out there for me and I went to get it.

J: You started off 2018 with going through some jail time, got out in June, then performed on the same stage as The Roots and Mad Skillz at the 106.5 The Beat Fest. In under a year, you went through a literal one eighty as it pertains to the direction that your life was going. How did the jail time change you? Did it create any quiddities that you hadn’t had before about your life and the things you do?

OG: Man. It was an eye opener. It made me appreciate my time more. I wrote, read and worked out a lot. Trying to make the most of my bid. But I spent a lot of my nights reflecting on how I spent my life, planning on how I would work extra hard and get myself out of the situation I was in. I think I missed my nieces more than anyone and I couldn’t stop obsessing over my album.

J: With all that you’ve done within the Virginia music scene, where is one venue that you hadn’t been at, but would like to perform at and why?

OG: The coliseum. And one day it’s going to happen. On everything.

J: How do you feel about the Virginia music scene as it pertains to other cities showing love for each other? I personally think that the issue with the Virginia music scene is different for each region, but I feel like that the cross regional love is okay. It’s not an issue to me, but I think that more of the issues are within the regions themselves showing love to other artists, brands, producers, within that same region.

OG: I don’t think it’s that at all… I think the problem is everyone feels the ONLY way to show love is to agree on everything. The real way to develop unity and building together doesn’t mean we all have to “like” each other’s music or always agree on everything but we can show each other how to build, plug each other in the right opportunities, learn from each other’s mistakes and success… talk marketing and creativeness to each other... not everyone is going to be a fan but doesn’t mean they can’t be an asset.

J: One last question, when can we expect Illegal to come out and what is a piece of advice that you would like to give to any aspiring creatives in the Virginia hip-hop scene?

OG: The album is coming out on Halloween. I want to just tell everyone, stay true to your dreams. Grow and get your money and marketing correct. It’ll take you a long way.

#OG ILLA #Jay Guevara #illegal #interview #richmond va