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thetentaclecommander · 4 months

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My Main Ships (in the AU)

Figure I’ll list the ships in my AU. Some of them are what the tender youth would call ““problematic.”” I see them as ‘compelling’, ‘having actual stakes,’ and having challenging conflicts beyond ‘will they love meee in this coffeeshop?’. Many of these people canon and OC have been with this AU since its inception and serve up the many themes found in it. Nemesis/Jill The bread and butter of this AU. Full of complication as to why each proceeded with *dramatic handwave* this. A lot of unhealthy coping with their mutual and separate traumas (other than you know that whole trying to kill each other biz). Also, fun toying with that human/monster divide and how intimacy is wildly different between the other in monstrous ways. Is by far the most complicated ship. Gets very unsettlingly trippy with that 'mental connection' they have these days. Nemesis/Zeus(OC) I was apparently doing monstery brocon/twincest before it had a name (also lol myth shout out)? In seriousness, this is one of the most toxic ships in the AU because the two essentially are what happens when abuse travels down the line leading to unhealthy copes. It just happens to be between two highly dangerous monsters who both lack the concept of what family much less consent is (or even orientation; neither gets what that is, gender is 'what humans need us to be') while raised in horrible captivity, with one very out of his damn mind. Also noting that this AU doesn't deal in 'perfect' victims. Chris/Sheva A tragic pair that came to be out of Chris cheating on Jill out of loneliness and the distance Jill’s trauma caused. Things resolved where these two became an item (with Jill’s blessing even) but the vibe of Chris settling won't leave Sheva along with the torch for Jill Chris denies is there. He loves Sheva, he truly does, but that feeling for Jill is there, and Sheva, despite it all, hurts from that fact (never mind the guilt of at one time being the other woman). Ada/Carlos The spicy bi panic of two free spirits who know who they are and what they are about. Meeting up by ‘chance’ or rather by ‘plan’ as what are the odds of a spy and a guy for hire meeting up at the same places? They clearly run in similar circles but the attraction and fun of having a good time is there. Funny enough, one of my most healthiest of ships.

Shana(OC)/Jessica(OC) My too wholesome to live lesbian ship. One is a BSAA ‘green’ who after years of taking jobs under the table fighting BOW, can work on the up and up to fund her wife’s MS treatments. Aside from some of Shana’s work history (and the depths she’d go to save her wife), these two are just deeply in love with each other. Bonus round: Not as featured but part of the AU *lore* Brad/Gwen(OC) The secret between them – Brad hooking up with a too young Gwen and ending up with a love child – was what resulted in Brad living in fear of doing more wrong to her and his son, Tomas. Secretly paid money and cared for them at her request as Gwen didn’t want all their lives destroyed. Was it right? No, but this dynamic worked until someone found out using it to blackmail him into leaving Alpha Team behind at Spencer Mansion for hours. Trent(OC)/Gwen(OC) Trent and Gwen found themselves teen parents with the arrival of Tomas (he didn’t know Tomas wasn’t his). Trent was defeated by the prospect of his plans in the military being derailed and turned to drinking. He loved Gwen and Tomas but was prone to flirting when not sober. Gwen, hardworking and from the ‘wrong side the tracks’ sees herself as pragmatic and tried to manage the situation she found herself in with all the foibles of a teen that grew up too fast. Working jobs with a fake ID, she fought for her little family and cared for Trent and Gwen but held resentment to him not being reliable hence her staying out late and drunkenly hooking up with Brad. Tomas was her whole world and would crawl through hell for her son. Trent and Gwen are a hot mess that had Raccoon not happened would have probably either got their shit together or broken up. Ghandon(OC)/Tracey(OC) The put upon Nurse that actually cared for her ‘sons’ the NE-Ts: she read to them, talked to them like ‘people’, was a true ‘parent’ to them, watched as they gained more and more of a personality as the parasites learned. She had to ‘compete’ with Simon Ghandon’s attentions towards them who were not even remotely wholesome, to the point she played into the man’s delusions to gain the boys some respite. It, unfortunately, only worked for so long. Ghandon(OC)/His ‘boys’(OCs + Nemesis) Man with a God Complex + closeted + given complete control over 4 powerful BOW units. What could possibly go wrong? This is the main reason Nemesis has rage issues, control issues, lacks boundaries/has no idea of consent (other than not being human, so it’d been hard to grasp such a human-based concept anyway), and despises humans. Is one of the reasons (next to Nemesis) Zeus has really borked ideas on ‘love.’ This ship bracket is not just toxic, but hellish. Wesker/Jill Started as a side fling (not sexual but sexualized) feeding into Jill’s secret masochist tendencies (because no one was out about such things in the era of DADT and Anita Hill) that turns into a plot to manipulate her actions like with Brad and Barry. He intentionally knew the fallout would cause tension between her and Chris; then 5 happened. Oh boy did RE5 happen. Let’s just say he fucked her up mentally, emotionally and physically and continues to after his ‘death.’ Wesker is to Jill as Ghandon is to Nemesis. Wesker/Excella The Regional Director high on her own supply (and coke and wine) and the manipulative bioterrorist who plays along to get what he wants- what could possibly go wrong? Game playing was afoot, especially with her known jealousy toward the puppet, err Jill.

#nemesis x jill #nemestine #dark fic #thetentaclecommander writes stuff #resident evil au #monsterfucker #monster x human #villianfucker #dark fanfiction #creva #weskertine #ship list #too tired to list every tag for every damn person rn #original character #monster oc #terato #crackship #rarepair #canon divergent au

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papirouge · 7 months

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That poor woman getting attacked with the brick by that scrote while other scrotes just watched reminded of this reddit story where a man and his wife was attacked at the park with a rock because he was asian and the attacker was racist and didn’t want to hear another language being spoken. The man was teaching his wife how to speak his native language so their kid could be bilingual. His wife protected this loser man and got scars on her face from the attack. She was then coerced into getting pregnant by him when she wasn’t sure about having kids. So this woman is pregnant when she wasn’t sure about kids, protected her husband when attacked and yet HE said that he loved her less now because of it. He felt less like a man and with the scars she had, he wasn’t attracted to her. He tried to push her to surgery but she refused to save money for the baby. And I remember that he was wondering how to ask her for permission to cheat because he has “needs” yet felt “bad about it”

The brick situation also reminded me of the video of this man who tried to sexually coerce a girl in the Philippines or Indonesia (I can’t remember) and all the grown men just stood around to watch this girl try to yell at this man to go away. Then a group of women just attacked this man and kept kicking him and throwing him around so he could leave.

Women will protect each other. I’ve protected other girls from creepy men before. It’s been proven that women on average feel safer around women than men. A woman will literally protect a man from being attacked. Yet men see us doing this for them as an attack ON THEM. They will repay this act with cheating or blaming us for even being attacked at all. I believe men who watch this happen subconsciously believe we deserve the attack for no reason.

Oh I think I already read that story of the Asian man and his girlfriend who got assaulted😶‍🌫️

Women should NEVER try to defend men. PERIOD. We're literally the weaker ones, we have no business trying to protect men.

I really hope that's fake story though, but I remember it was too peculiar to be made up...

And the video of the philippina women kicking an abusive man also tells me something. Strength in numbers lol OF COURSE women will feel safer around each other. Women aren't out there raping and assaulting each other like male do. Men love being like "women hate each other" as if they weren't the ones shooting each other down, beating each other to death over petty thief or a simple stare, and so on...🙄 I've dealt with terrible/abusive/harassing women and they never made me feel unsafe for my physical integrity. Men love projecting their terrible treatment of each other onto women to make us look like the meanest ones, but then turn around and whine about how they have it harder and stuff. Is it only women bullying them? or are they gonna finally admit that they are actually unsupportive of each other to the point there's an endemic of male suicide?

like- men flip flopping between "women hate each other" and "women have a better support system therefore we are the oppressed ones" is so weird....Who do they think supports other women? ...men? Those who are stastically more prone to leave their wife once she gets sick...? 🤡 LMAO it's so obvious they have some sort of deep seated jealousy towards the actual female fellowship but are too prideful to admit bc it would mean their narrative is full of crap and a pathetic cope lmao

#answered

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mrsstrugglebarnes · 2 years

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6.9.22

this is a personal and honest blog post where i express my feelings towards a specific instance of someone faking mental illness and lying about being gay. i do not want to offend anyone and it is in my honest opinion that outside of very special circumstances, people deserve the benefit of the doubt when they share something deeply personal about themselves.

if you may be triggered or offended by such topics, please move along. this is a theraputic coping mechanism for me. i do not want anyone to think that i am trying to spread my opinon for others to agree with me.

over the last few years, my sister has developed strong narcissistic character traits that my mother with NPD has passed. she is one year older than me and for the past several years has developed a malingering and self-pity state of mind. this phenomenon is difficult for me to explain, but i will try to get my thoughts out in a short explanation.

my limited vocabulary prevents me from thinking of any word to describe how her self-pity manifests itself with any word other than “copying.” if she sees a friend walk in on crutches, next month she suddenly has a twisted ankle and needs crutches for the next few weeks. another example, i was born with severe generalized anxiety disorder and developed depression in the 6th grade. by the time we were in high school, my sister told people she was depressed (which very well may have been true given our living situation at the time) and was “taking pills” to try and forget the pain. (ibuprofen. she took ibuprofen.)

i do not know if she has these traits because of our mom’s psychological abuse, my brother’s manic bipolar disorder that caused some trauma in our early childhood, or if it is simply how God made her. but it’s all that my family of 8 has known of her. and none of my other siblings have traits such as these. on the contrary, my other siblings and i do not feel comfortable talking about our problems or mental health. sometimes not even our physical health.

anyways...

well, shortly after i turned 15 in 2015, i began identifying as bisexual. really, the signs were all there but i didn’t clue in until sophomore year, but that is neither here nor there. i came out to my sister shortly after, and to this day no one else in our family knows except for 1 brother.

in 2019 my sister began to identify as pansexual.

i am not, nor have I ever been, a person who assumes someone’s sexuality, or decides if someone is gay or not, or deny someone’s sexuality when they confide such in me. but let me tell you, my sister has never been physically or sexually attracted to women. i know her behavior, her patterns, i know who she is. she is an ally and a heterosexual.

since attending university and since being queer and mentally ill has risen as a trend, she has acted like she finds women attractive but also doesn’t. making statements like “if i was gay, i swear” or “[to her boyfriend] i would leave you for [insert celebrity here].” she has acted like depression and anxiety has been a life-long issue of hers, even though she had been a negative force in my life when it came to my psychological wellbeing. she has even made comments about being suicidal and using it during arguments even though she knows i’ve made plans to end my life in the past and had no care or regard about any of it then or now.

basically, the sister i knew became a completely different person. almost perfectly camouflaging to fit in with her peers.

through all of this i have kept my cool and held my tongue. it’s not my business and who am i to try and tell her any different?

i decided to finally say something when my sister came out to the world.

she posted to her instagram and facebook about 6 paragraphs detailing how she has been lying to herself and those she loves for years. that she had been raised to hate and feels like her family hates her. she even told our family and friends that her family has told her she is going to hell. that is not true.

through all the years of my sister insulting us to our face and telling everyone exaggerated stories of us, we have always loved her and always been there for her when she needed us. moreover, my parents and one of my brothers are very homophobic. but even after my sister came out to them, they did not shun her, insult her, or try to kick her out of the family. and they absolutely did not tell her she is going to hell.

but the thing i can’t get over?

my sister told every single person we know that she is queer, and her family, myself included, hates her for it.

it is almost impossible for me to find the words. i feel betrayed, back stabbed, insulted, and tossed aside.

i am bisexual. i have sat quietly for years and years as my family has insulted me both directly and indirectly, sat by in fear of losing all of them if i were honest or if i fell in love. i’ve lived my life at war with myself, struggling each day to convince myself that my life has meaning and that even though i may sit in fear and loneliness, my life deserves to be lived.

i look through the comments on her posts and my heart splinters. my aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, people who helped raise me, people who i grew up with. all of them showing massive amounts of support for my sister who is deceiving to them all. my sister who threw me under the bus so she could receive pity. here they are, the people who matter most to me in life: pouring out buckets of support and love that i was afraid i would never get. and i am afraid now that i still will not get. because my sister told them all that i am homophobic. indirectly or not. that is what she did.

so now i sit here, a 21-year-old who has been torn apart by her family, by the weight of being in the closet, and by fear of rejection by the people who i cherish most. i sit here and watch as my very straight sister gathers all the care and support that i have craved my entire life. i sit here feeling myself tearing in half, divided by two strong feelings: one is bitter and angry jealousy while the other, waves of guilt. who am i to say i deserve something? people are loving on my sister and i’m sitting here mad about it? jealous? thinking i deserve that and she doesn’t? who do i think i am?

but i can’t help it. ive hidden who i am, lied about the things that i believe and support in order to protect myself and preserve my relationships with my family. all the while, my sister, who knows me inside and out, has the privilege of being honest, loud, and opinionated. because she has nothing to lose. she would not be affected by being disowned. she has been waiting to cut my parents out of her life for the past 5 years.

i honestly want to sob. i can’t tell if it’s because of the jealousy, the anger, or simply the betrayal i feel because my sister has possibly convinced everyone who matters to me that i’ve condemned her for being queer. even though i am a queer woman.

i simply don’t know how to feel. im terrified that this is going to affect how people see me. im afraid that no one will believe me when i come out. im just...

here. im just here.

#blog post #therapy when you dont have a therapist 🤪#therapy #june 2022 #forest's blog

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booksofwhynot · 3 years

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I really dislike the rebuttal of “but most adults want sex in a relationship!” when TRAs say “but you don’t HAVE to have sex”, because that’s not the point. It actually doesn’t matter if there are lesbians who’d be fine with not having sex while dating/in a relationship, for whatever reason – they’d still have to be sexually attracted to each other to be in that relationship, and that, like everything else about female homosexuality, completely excludes males.

No lesbian, regardless of how much sex she is or isn’t currently having, can develop a crush or fall in love with a man. No lesbian wants to call a man her “girlfriend.” No lesbian wants to make out with a man. And it’s not just adults being pressured like this – teenage lesbians don’t want TIMs any more than adult lesbians do! Don’t cede any ground to these homophobes. Taking the literal act of sex out of the equation doesn’t make any of this okay. Lesbians aren’t interested in men. At all. No loopholes, no conditions, no exceptions.

#maybe 'dislike' is too strong a word #it's not that i mind anyone saying that #it just seems to be put forward as the main argument against it #and it's irrelevant because we don't want ANYTHING past friendship with any man #and that kind of thing wouldn't be just a friendship #it would be an abusive situation where she had to fake attraction and feelings the man would know she doesn't have #it would be incredibly creepy to have a male pretending to be in a 'lesbian relationship' with you #regardless of whether he's pushing for sex or not #and we know most of these rapey fucks would do that eventually #mypost #lesbian #homophobia #lesbophobia #tra bullshit

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knyleggo · 2 years

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Hello! i hope you're doing well~ <3

I need some confort TT, so can i please ask for some headcanons Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Inosuke and Muichiro with a fem reader who suffers physical and psychological abuse from her family?and she cannot leave them because her family (through manipulations) made her feel a certain emotional dependence towards them.

Bonus if when they find out just the reader's grandmother is slapping her because she told them she had a partner (Muichiro, Zenitsu, etc.) and calling her a bitch

Thanks! <3

oh hello! thanks for messaging! so sorry to reply you this late becos there was end-of-year exams but now that im back, im ready to write! if this is also not up to your standard, lemme know anytime i will rewrite it :)) (also, very long headcannon coming your way :D)

when they find out you suffer abuse from your family (tanjiro, zenitsu, inosuke, muichiro) *headcannons*

tanjiro

you used to have a big family like tanjiro

but you lost all your siblings due to demons so only you, your parents and your grandparents were left

wondering why the demons went after you? apparently you had a special type of blood, much different from others, and your blood attracted more demons to come after you

your siblings knew this, and sacrificed themselves to protect you and the other family members while you ran away to alert them and escaped

hence, your parents and grandparents decided to take out their anger and grief on you by torturing you everyday since young (not giving you food, treating you like a punching bag, etc.)

until this very day, your parents and your grandparents were still blaming and accusing you for death and murder of your beloved siblings

when you and tanjiro started dating and talking about this topic, he knew something was up but he didn't push you and gave you all the time that you need

until one day when you were about to burst and you couldn't hold it in anymore, you ran away from your estate with you grandmother chasing you from the back and you dashed into tanjiro's house and locked the door

tanjiro saw you crying and struggling to breathe as you crouched at his door unable to move and he quickly went over to you and hugged you tightly

whispers of reassuring words and comforting head pats from this boy were enough to soothe you down

when you started explaining the entire situation to him, oh man, the world was going to burn in flames

man was so angry that he almost punched his own house door down and wanted to find your parents and grandparents to make them pay for what they did to you and what they put you through

of course his kind soul didn't allow him to do that and he always put you first so for the rest of the day, he would spend the time to praise you and compliment everything that you did, including your flaws

he buys you anything you want and does anything you want for the rest of the day (or week)

pampers you a lot by cooking your favorite dish and buying your favorite beverages

plenty of cuddles uwu >.<

at the end of the day he would just hug you so tightly while two of you rested in his bed together and tells you that he would always be there for you when needed and that he loves you :)

bonus: the next day when you and tanjiro were walking around to get fresh air, the two of you walked past where your estate was and heard a shout coming from your house. the moment you turned to look back, your grandmother came limping at you at a great speed and raised up her cane, ready to hit you.

"you little b*tch! who gave you the right to run out of the house yesterday huh? even your sisters won't do that!"

you shut your eyes at that very moment, bracing yourself for the impact. but the impact never came. when you decided to slowly open your eyes to take a look at what's going on, you saw tanjiro holding the cane easily with one hand as he glared hard at your grandmother who was currently in shock and in anger. mustering up a fake smile on his face, he quickly broke the cane in half and gritted his teeth as he closed his eyes.

"please don't bother her anymore."

tanjiro grabbed your hand as you two walked away from your house, with you knowing that it was the last time that you would ever see this house. you were forever grateful to tanjiro and tanjiro just simply replied, ending with a kiss on your forehead, "that's what i'm here for. to care for you, to protect you, and to love you."

zenitsu

you didn't dare to tell him about your current situation at home first because you knew he would be more scared with his coward-like personality and that he may leave you (that last thought frightens you the most)

and you still didn't plan on telling him until that one day where the two of you decided to take a walk in the park

the two of you were just going out on a normal date after meeting up at a nearby restaurant and that's when you came across your grandmother who was strolling around the neighbourhood

zenitsu began to cower behind you in fear as your grandmother slowly walked over to the two of you, not even bothering to greet zenitsu who was still busy hiding behind you

immediately once she opened her mouth, a string of curses and profanities came running out from her mouth as zenitsu stared on in shock while you were trying to contain tears from falling from your eyes

it was already shocking that you were being treated like a piece of shit but with your boyfriend right behind you watching this entire scene made it much worse

just when you thought your old lady was about to stop nagging and start leaving, you felt a sharp sting of pain across your cheek as your eyes widened that second

it was pure silence for a moment

"you deserve that so much you b*tch" blah blah blah who cares about that old lady

when you were about to hide your face in embarrassment and get ready to hear zenitsu telling you that your relationship wasn't working out, you felt a firm grasp on your wrist and in that split second you were pulled to the back

"nobody...absolutely nobody...hits my y/n-chan" (WEEHEHEHE ZENITSU MAH MAN TO THE RESCUE)

yea yea the man may be asleep while he's busy talking to your grandmother but you were glad, nah, you were absolutely over the moon to have zenitsu beside you

"first form: thunderslap and flash, god speed"

with that he yeeted your disgusting grandmother outta the planet and the two of you lived happily ever after

nah jk

he did slap the hell outta your grandmother but he said that he will always love you and you shall always be his y/n-chan while drooling in his sleep when standing and hugging you

yeah, you are very lucky indeed

inosuke

you are very very very very very insecure

it was very hard to find a man like inosuke and he meant the world to you (you didn't want him to leave you just because of your stupid grandmother)

as such the two of you never brought up the topic of family members

so one day inosuke decided to visit you at your house

you were a nervous wreck because you knew something bad will really happen whenever your grandmother was present in the house

sure enough once the two of you had settled nicely into the couch and getting ready for gigantic comfy cuddles, your grandmother enters the scene

"are you sure you want to be with a b*tch like her? she's worthless!" followed by all the possible curse words you know

inosuke was horrified

nobody would ever-

NO NOBODY WOULD EVEN DARE TO TALK ABOUT HIS GIRL LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY HER OWN GRANDMOTHER

the last time sanemi tried to scold you in front of everyone else, inosuke came rushing in to the rescue and got into a big fight with sanemi, coming home with bruises and cuts everywhere

you felt incredibly sorry for inosuke for having to deal with yourself

it was then where you felt worthless

you felt like inosuke doesn't deserve someone like you

you really thought that this time inosuke would leave you for good when your own grandmother was cursing you like that

but inosuke mah boi came to da rescue

"maybe you're just calling her a b*tch because you know you can't be better than her"

"aren't you a b*tch yourself too"

"hey y/n isn't a mirror you know"

yeah inosuke straight up talked back and insulted your grandmother in many ways before knocking her out and immediately going back to your side, comforting you for everything your horrible grandmother has put you through

big hugs and sloppy kisses everywhere

places his boar mask in your hands because he knows that somehow that mask always calms you down (sometimes he lets you wear it because he knew you didn't want him to see you cry)

taking you out of your own house immediately and officially moving all your clothes to his house (purposely leaves some clothes out because he wants you to wear his more which you gladly accepted)

after that incident, he reminds you everyday that he will always be there for you no matter what and that he loves you

and also reminds you that your name would be the only name that he would pronounce right in his entire life

awe man i love this lil boar huhuhu 🥺🥺

muichiro

this man already knew something was going on when you weren't your usual cheery self

everytime the only answer that he got from you was "oh my grandmother...ah it's nothing mui" or "she erm...ah nevermind mui"

tries asking you first but wasn't satisfied with you not directly answering him and tried his best to get to the bottom of this problem

he's willing to do anything to see you smile and laugh again

but thanks to your short answers, he already knew it was definitely related to your grandmother

offers to pick you up at your house before the both of you went to school together

first sees you opening the door meekly with uncertainty in your eyes but the gentle caress of his palm on your cheek was enough to soothe your nerves down

just when you were about to let him in, a shoe was thrown at the back of your head which was then followed by a half broken beer bottle which muichiro immediately grabbed you and shielded you from the sharp edges of the bottle, crushing the beer bottle with his own hand

rough names and profanities could also be heard coming from inside the house while muichiro looked down and tried to make eye contact with you, only to find you averting your gaze elsewhere and saw tears beginning to form in your eyes

muichiro wasted no time in slamming your door wide open to see who would actually do this to you and his eyes widened for a split second when he noticed an old lady standing a few feet away from behind you, immediately connecting everything together and found out that it was your grandmother

his fists immediately clenched into tiny cannonballs as he fought back the urge to punch your frail grandmother's bony face right there right then

did manage to teach your grandmother a lesson by threatening her and knocking her out as you hid yourself somewhere else to prevent yourself from watching the scene

when muichiro came out, the first thing he did was hug you tightly and gave you a quick peck on the crown of your head to make you feel secure

helped you warmed up the bath when you reached his apartment and cooked whatever you felt like eating for you

may be emotionless on the outside but he was smiling on the inside at the thought of you depending on him this much

doesn't forget to remind you of how brave and strong you were to endure this abuse

pampers you even more everyday and agrees with almost everything you say (lowkey simp)

will always protect you forever 🥰🥰

sorry this was a lil rushed ngl but i hoped this satisfied you! thanks for posting again :)))

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ilalos · 3 years

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Mine (Hvitserk x reader)

Summary: Hvitserk buys his own slave saving you from your horrible owner.

Warnings: mentions of slavery, physical ab*se, tiny mention of sex*al ab*se if you squint (nothing actually happens, it´s just Y/n’s fear), let me know if you see anything else that might be triggering.

Word count: 1,8k

You woke up suddenly from the cold surrounding your body and making your skin wet.

"Rise and shine sl*t" sang your master placing the, now empty, bucket on the ship's floor.

You quickly stood up and waited for whatever order he may have for you, and after being given a dress you quickly changed and ran to stand beside your master who was at the front of the ship. As he spoke with his men you allowed your mind to wander to your home life, when you were happy and free.

You were born in a very rich family and had been treated like a princess until your father passed away. When your father died your mother had to get married again quickly because she had no idea how to manage the many lands your family-owned, so she got married to Maqsud and he turned out to be a terrible man; he had his own daughters so for him you were an unwanted presence and due to that he decided to sell you as a slave and told your mom you disappeared. He sold you to Canute, your current master, who beat you at the smallest mistake and always woke you up with a bucket of icy water, he said it helped to keep you clean.

"Answer!" You awoke from your thoughts when you heard your master shouting "When I talk to you, you listen! Understood?!" he grabbed your face so hard you could already feel the bruises forming.

"Yes, master" you nodded as best as you could in his strong grip, he then released you with a push so hard you fell on your back, all air knocked from your lungs.

"As I was saying" he continued as if nothing had happened "You are being offered in this town, and hopefully I can get at least what I paid for you" he spat.

You didn't know how to feel at his words, you should be happy that you were finally getting rid of your abusive master but there was also the fear of having an even worse master that could do unspeakable things to you. You stared at the horizon and watched expectantly as land got closer and closer.

When the boat arrived your master quickly tied your hands together, so tight you could feel your hands becoming cold and numb. You were pulled towards a market and as you got there you saw a line of many girls tied just like you with their master behind them offering the girls as if they were meat. Your master pulled you harshly until you stood at the end of the line and he started shouting along with the others, offering his 'pure, virgin slave!'. You tried your best not to let the situation affect you and you held back tears and bit your lip.

"How much for this one" you heard a man ask but didn't dare to look at him for more than a second, he looked young.

"30 gold pieces" Canute offered smugly, almost sure that the young man would try to lower the price to at least 20 gold pieces and that would still be a good deal.

"Deal" the man answered simply and handed him a bag with the payment inside, your master counted, and when he confirmed he was given the right amount of gold he gestured for the man to take you.

"She's yours, take her" he pushed you towards him as if you were nothing.

The young man held your shoulders before you fell on your face and when you regained balance he held your chin and tilted your head upwards, so your eyes would meet his.

"I'm Hvitserk" he smiled "And you are...?" he questioned.

"Y/n" you whispered looking into his beautiful eyes, almost getting lost in them.

"Nice to meet you" he caressed your cheek softly "You are going to warm my bed every night from now on"

Your breath got stuck in your throat when you heard his words. What your master had said wasn't a lie, you were indeed pure and untouched, and you were terrified of what Hvitserk would do with that information, or worse if he didn't believe those words and treated you as a commonly experienced slave.

Hvitserk started walking and you just stood there staring at your, now almost black, hands. He turned around and looked at you signaling for you to follow him, and just as you approached him he took out a knife making you yelp and drop on your knees begging for mercy.

"Please, master don't hurt me" you cried "I'll be good, I promise" you finished sobbing, waiting for him to hit you or stab you.

"I won't hurt you" Hvitserk assured and reached to cut the rope that was tied around your wrists, allowing the blood to flow in that particular area "I promise you, I will never hurt you on purpose" he took a hold of both hands and kissed the insides of your wrists softly.

You looked up at him in awe and quietly stood up and followed him after he got up himself and started walking towards the great hall. Once you got inside he walked to his room without looking at anyone, and once there he told you to sit in the bed.

"This is my room and where you are sitting is my bed" he explained "Your duties are simple, you wake up, get ready, wake me up, braid my hair and go to breakfast with me, you sit on my lap and feed me and you can eat in between bites too" he paused, waiting for you to show him you understood.

"Yes, master”

"You will go with me everywhere and you will not look at or talk to anyone but me, every meal I have you will feed it to me and I will always allow you to eat from my plate" he insisted watching you nod to his words "every night I expect you to lay with me, for the first couple of nights I don't intend on using your body for my pleasure, instead I wish to use you mainly for the company" you let out a breath you had been holding since he told you you had to warm his bed "You are mine and only mine, not even the queen can take you away from me, and I hope I am clear when I tell you that you cannot even glance at another man's direction, am I clear?"

"Yes master, I'm completely yours from now on"

"Call me Hvitserk, master creeps me out" he fake shivered to amuse you and got a small giggle which made him smile.

That night you sat on Hvitserk's lap, just like he had ordered, feeding him every course from soup to ale and he allowed you to eat from his plate in between bites, just like he promised. His brothers tried to ignore your presence and act as if you were just another slave, but you weren't. Normally the one who bought slaves was their mother, Hvitserk was the first one to buy a slave for himself, and they were all attracted to your odd presence.

"Who is the beauty sitting in your lap, Hvitserk?" inquired Ivar.

"She is my slave, brother" Hvitserk stated simply.

"And who said you could have your own slave?" demanded Sigurd with a frown.

"I bought her with my own money, earned by fishing and hunting" he stated proudly squeezing your waist a little and taking the piece of meat you offered.

"And are you planning to share her anytime soon?" asked Ubbe curious lifting a brow and hiding his smirk behind his cup, clearly noticing the way you tensed.

"No" Hvitserk deadpanned "she is mine" he finished feeling you relax on his lap and continue cutting some meat for him.

After that the table got silent and everyone finished their meals in silence, no brother dared to look at Hvitserk and much less at you. After everyone finished each one went to their respective rooms without anything more than a 'goodbye' to their mother and Hvitserk waited until they left before getting up and leading you to his room. Once in his room, Hvitserk started taking his clothes off and as he sat on the bed he heard water being poured into his bathtub.

"What are you doing?" he asked turning to look at you emptying a pot of warm water into the tub.

"I'm preparing your bath, mast-Hvitserk" you quickly corrected yourself, fearing his reaction at the dreaded word "You can relax and get cleaned while I undo your braids" you suggested with a hopeful look, you truly appreciated being treated well and wanted to show him how grateful you were for his lack of mistreatings.

He nodded from his spot and watched you as you continued pouring pots of warm water into his tub until it was almost full. You announced the bath was ready and stood with your back turned to him as a sign of respect while he finished undressing. After that he got in the bath, hissing as he felt the warm water colliding with his cold skin.

"Is it too hot?" You asked concerned.

"It is perfect" he mumbled sleepily.

You smiled a little as you watched him resting his head on the edge of the tub with his eyes closed. Quietly, you walked around the tub until you stood by the back of his head where you started unbraiding his hair with soft brushes of your fingers, hearing him sigh and moan every now and then.

"After this bath, we are going to sleep" he announced in a low voice "Your gown is over there" without opening his eyes he pointed towards the bed where you could see some white fabric folded next to the pillow.

When you were both changed and ready to bed he laid down and patted the spot next to him, you laid on your back not knowing how he wanted you to position yourself. You heard him chuckle before and yelped when you felt his arms wrapping around your shoulders and with a quick pull he had your head laying on his chest.

"You are here to comfort me, not lay there as stiff as a tree" his chest vibrated with his laugh.

"Sorry" you mumbled, sleep evident in your voice.

You both remained silent and in a matter of minutes, he felt your soft breaths caressing his skin. He knew you were there just because he had bought you, but for a sweet tiny moment, he convinced himself that the girl in his arms was not a slave, but his lover who was there out of adoration for him and only him. His own beautiful lover.

"Mine" he whispered kissing your forehead before finally slipping into a peaceful slumber.

-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘-‘

Hi! Thanks for reading!!!! I hope you enjoyed it and I’m thinking about making a part two so…let me know if you’d be interested on that.

#hvitserk ragnarsson #hvitserk ragnarsson x reader #hvitserk imagine #hvitserk x reader #hvitserk ragnarsson imagine #Vikings #vikings fanfiction #my writing

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Text

I am briefly pausing my normal RWBY content to talk about something completely different: Kang Soo-Jin.

I binged True Beauty recently. As in, “I haven’t managed to watch anything new in half a year, discovered this drama, and promptly marathoned 14+ hours of content,” so to say I’m enjoying it is an understatement. I might do another post sometime about why I think the show works so well, but for now, like many (drama only) viewers, I’m specifically grappling with Soo-Jin’s descent into antagonist territory. At first I was just as shocked and disappointed as others seem to be, but upon reflection I don’t think this is badly written in the way many fans are claiming. To frame this as, “I can’t believe they would make wonderful Soo-Jin suddenly OOC and bully Ju-Kyung over a guy!” is ignoring core parts of her character. I’m as sick of the girl-hates-girl-over-guy plotline as the next viewer, but in the interest of acknowledging that there are exceptions to every rule, I think this is one of the times where that choice makes perfect sense.

Soo-Jin has been abused throughout her life and I’m not simply talking about the fact that her father hits her. Though that’s obviously horrific, what I think is more pertinent to this conversation is the intense competitiveness her parents have instilled in her. The physical abuse comes about because Soo-Jin fails (in their eyes) to be the best, which is where Ju-Kyung comes in. The Soo-Jin we knew in earlier episodes wasn’t faking. She isn’t an inherently evil person who was just waiting for the right time to show her true colors. Rather, at the start of the story Ju-Kyung—crucially—was not in competition with Soo-Jin. Or rather, Soo-Jin did not perceive her as competition. She’s after the best grades in the school and Ju-Kyung is notoriously at the bottom of the class. All she has going for her are her (new) looks and her easy-going personality that makes her popular, two things that Soo-Jin isn’t interested in. Even if she were, those things already come naturally to her too. She’s already friends with Soo-A and, as is commented on multiple times, naturally beautiful without any makeup on. Soo-Jin has been taught—literally had it beaten into her—that she must be the best and in the beginning of the show she pretty much is: popular, mature, confident, smart… just not the smartest in her class. Ju-Kyung doesn’t threaten any of that, so friendship initially comes easily for Soo-Jin, the sort of friendship that allows her to chase perverts off busses or hide her friend’s real face.

This changes once Soo-Jin’s “perfect” mask begins to slip. They’re heading towards college, she’s running out of time, and she still hasn’t managed to take the top spot in the class. Worse, she drops out of the top ten. This exacerbates the abuse to the point where, as we see, she’s constantly in the bathroom trying to cope by washing her hands. Any tiny deviation from that “perfection” — like, say, leaving your tutoring session when you realize your lifelong friend just got devastating news — results in the sort of yelling/physical abuse she can only escape from via a locked door. While things get worse on her end, they get better on Ju-Jyung’s. Her grades go up some and she becomes even more popular, attracting not only school-wide attention, but the attention of the two hottest guys too, including Soo-Ho. For a while this is still fine from Soo-Jin’s perspective, but things really take a turn when Ju-Kyung changes Soo-Ho. Meaning, she helps him come out of his shell and teaches him how to be a kinder person… which includes being a better friend to Soo-Jin. The Soo-Ho who suddenly lies and announces that they have to go study just to get Soo-Jin away from her father’s insults, all of it stemming from a small tick he paid attention to, or comforting her while she sobs over the abuse… that Soo-Ho didn’t exist at the story’s start. He was too wrapped up in his own grief and has been that way for a long time. They may have known each other since childhood, but Soo-Jin and Soo-Ho don’t appear to be particularly close in the past—all Soo-Ho’s flashbacks are with Seo-Joon and Se-Yeon. But that starts to change once Soo-Ho himself changes. Soo-Jin’s ability to keep it together is unraveling, Soo-Ho is opening up and becoming more emotionally available (something Soo-Jin even comments on), then her whole class starts eagerly talking up how good they would be as a couple… so Soo-Jin sees a lifeline. Soo-Ho will care for her even when no one else will. Of course he will. She’s already seen him be that person multiple times.

The problem is that Soo-Ho has his own life and his own problems to grapple with. Between grief over See-Yeon, panic over telling Ju-Kyung how he feels, and the initial rush of dating—what couple doesn’t want to spend all their time together at the start?—he doesn’t have much energy for Soo-Jin. Which from his perspective is fine. They don’t normally hang out together outside of study groups, so yeah, he can put off a conversation with her… not realizing that Soo-Jin is now putting all her emotional eggs in his basket. By the time her feelings are coming to light, Soo-Jin is actively sabotaging her own attempts to get attention and compassion from Soo-Jin. By manipulating them—here’s a new scrunchy to remind you that you’re my best friend and you can’t ever betray me, here I am showing up unannounced at your apartment and guilting you into not spending more time with me, etc.—Soo-Jin has put Soo-Ho (rightfully) on his guard. He’s wary of having a private conversation with her about something she won’t name when he knows Ju-Kyung has been a mess over losing her friendship. He has no desire to listen to her confession of love after she’s just tossed Ju-Kyung’s beloved necklace into the fire. In her efforts to ensure that Soo-Ho pays attention to her, she only succeeds in driving him away.

All of which makes Ju-Kyung the enemy in her eyes. The new competition. To her mind, friendship and love cannot co-exist because Ju-Kyung stands in the way of that love, therefore one has got to go. (In contrast Seo-Joon, coming from a loving family, is in time better able to accept that he can be friends with Soo-Ho even though he likes Ju-Kyung. We can discuss the problems inherent in giving one plot to the girl and the other to the guy, but as they are, these characters have concrete, in-world reasons for their different reactions to what’s essentially the same situation.) And why does love (“love”) win out over friendship? Because Soo-Jin has latched onto Soo-Ho being her boyfriend as the way to finally “win” at life and fix all her problems. It’s fine if she’s not the best provided she’s dating the best, just look at how much Dad fawned over him. Second place academically is suddenly an option provided the top student is on her team, so to speak. The fact that Soo-Ho is also one of the most handsome, a great athlete, super rich, and one of the few people to provide her with feelings of safety certainly doesn’t hurt matters. And the only thing that stands in her way of securing this life-saving “win” is Ju-Kyung. Who is she? No one compared to Soo-Jin. Her grades are terrible. She’s not wealthy. She’s pretty… but oh, only with her makeup on.

Soo-Jin doesn’t need makeup, so why not win this competition by showing the whole school—showing Soo-Ho—what a fraud Ju-Kyung is?

From Soo-Jin’s perspective she’s done the math and come out on top. Everything that (supposedly) matters she either has equal to Ju-Kyung, or is superior, therefore it’s obvious that Soo-Ho would choose her in the end. She says at much: If I had confessed first you would have loved me first, so now that I have confessed you’ll break up with her. Hell, even Ju-Kyung believes this. She has the nightmare about Soo-Ho learning that Soo-Jin has feelings for him and immediately, publicly breaking up with her. After all, if he suddenly has both as an option the winner is obvious, right? It’s all about competition, what they’ve been taught to believe is a competition: Ju-Kyung through her bullying and Soo-Jin through her abuse. The difference is that Ju-Kyung has had the whole series with Soo-Ho (and others) helping her slowly unlearn this mentality. Soo-Jin had the rug pulled out from under her in an instant.

Soo-Ho says no, I wouldn’t have loved you if you had confessed first and I’m not going to date you now. It’s important to realize that this shatters Soo-Jin’s entire world. It’s not about a girl being upset that she can’t get the guy — not even about Soo-Ho as an individual, really — it’s about an abused girl not knowing how to grapple with the fact that she finally did everything “right” and still couldn’t “win,” coupled with losing the last bit of security she had. Soo-Ho broke the unspoken rules Soo-Jin’s father beat into her and she doesn’t know where to go from there. She literally has no one else to turn to. So she falls back on the only way she does know how to handle a situation like this: by still trying to win. If Soo-Ho won’t admit that she’s better, she’ll force him to realize that by plastering Ju-Kyung’s “ugly” face all over social media. Which, to be clear, isn’t an excuse. This isn’t meant to be a way of absolving Soo-Jin of her absolutely horrific actions, only a means of explaining them. Her descent, while shocking to those of us who loved her initial character, is well written because it’s a nuanced look at what can happen when you abuse a kid her whole life and teach her that competition is everything. Oddly enough, she’ll apply a competitive outlook to everything and deal with her stress in unhealthy ways. Ju-Kyung is a victim of Soo-Jin now, but Soo-Jin is a victim too. Her home life has ensured that she does not know how to accept failure—or what true failure even means—so it was inevitable that when things got bad, she’d try to fix it in ways that hurt both her and those around her. It’s all she knows how to do.

So far less “Perfect girl goes ooc and abandons her friend over a boy” and far more “Abused girl falls into a terrible, but predictable cycle that the other stressed high schoolers around her are not equipped to break.” Soo-Jin’s story isn’t bad writing, it’s tragic. Thanks for coming to my three page TED talk ✌️

***

2/4/21 FINALE UPDATE!

#abuse tw #true beauty #kang soojin #mymetas #true beauty spoilers

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strawwritesfic · 2 years

Text

Tony Stark x Female!Childhood Friend!Reader: Brightest [Ch. 14]

Summary: [F Name] [L Name]: Tony’s Stark’s “invisible friend.” She’s invisible in all the wrong ways–at least until Tony spots her years after telling her to get out of his life. With Yinsen’s words in mind, Tony decides to pursue their lost relationship, only to find that [Name] might not be as willing as before. What Tony doesn’t know, however, is that the confusion of her life might end up the best of his.

Ratings/Warnings/Tags: M (love triangles; friends with benefits; sexual situations; non-consensual sex with a significant other (note: I will mark this specific chapter accordingly); cheating on significant other portrayed in a positive light; verbal abuse from parents and significant others; toxic relationships of several kinds; rumors of an inappropriate relationship between an older man and his son’s teenage friend; set in between Iron Man 2 and Avengers (2012); references to characters not yet established in the MCU as of time of writing)

Pairings: Tony Stark/Reader; Justin Hammer/Reader; Tony Stark/Reader/Justin Hammer; Pepper Potts/Happy Hogan; past!Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Tag List: @imaginesfire; @ironmansuucks; @sleep-i-ness

Master List

Chapter 14: Life Lessons

You sat in the passenger seat of Tony’s car, watching the shops and the people pass by the windows while your heartbeat drummed in the palms of your sweaty hands. The usual parade of worries passed through your buzzing mind: What were you doing? Anyone might spot you riding along in a flashy vehicle like that one, tinted windows be damned. Anyone might see the car registered to Donald [L Name] loitering on a city block where you were nowhere to be found. Anyone might find you missing from home, and you had left a perfectly functional breadcrumb trail to follow right to your illicit deeds. It didn’t have to be your father that worked things out, or your mother, or even Justin. One nosy member of the entertainment media was all that was needed to blow down your erratically constructed house of cards.

“Would you relax?” Tony’s voice cracked into your anxious thoughts. “You’re sitting so stiff I’m getting constipated just looking at you. What?” he added in the face of your blank stare. “It was a joke.”

“I continue to wonder how you’ve attracted so many girls with that sense of humor,” you said.

“It’s the facial hair. The fabulously wealthy bit doesn’t hurt either. Or the costumed superhero gig.”

The chuckle you let out wasn’t intended to sound as halfhearted as it wound up coming out of your mouth. Tony’s familiar smirk faded as he glanced away from the road and right at you.

“Come on, princess. What’s got those lace panties of yours in a twist? I’m not a mind reader.”

You shook your head. “You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

“Okay, maybe I will. But how can I say either way if you won’t tell me what you’re thinking about?”

The reason you didn’t want to tell him was obvious: Tony already knew you were stupid—and then you’d gone and admitted to faking what credentials he had ever believed you had. But you were already skating on thin ice as it was. You had asked him for this favor. If you refused him anything, including something as simple as an answer to a question, he could put a stop to more than just this ride. That was a lesson you had learned a long, long time ago.

“Just thinking about the possibility of my parents finding out where I am,” you admitted.

“You mean who you’re with.”

“That, too.”

“For someone who’s been breaking the rules so often lately, you have an awfully loud conscience.” He looked at you again as he made another turn. “No matter. Just something we’ll have to work on quieting.”

The tingle up your spine told you just how much you liked that suggestion. From anyone else, it didn’t mean much, but from Tony, the idea of working on quieting your conscience was rife with possibilities. To no longer feel the weight of guilt over being an imperfect daughter, to be able to feel free to act with impunity would be a—

“Wait a minute. Where are we going?” you asked.

It had only just then dawned on you, preoccupied fool that you were, that this was not the route to Tony’s Malibu mansion. After all the times you had accompanied your parents there as a child—not to mention all the sneaking over there you’d done in your teen years—you had the pathway memorized. His first turn should have been your first clue.

Tony parked the car, turned it off, and offered you an unhelpful, “here,” before he hopped outside.

You stayed put. He made it all the way up to one of the several connected buildings, then seemed to realize you hadn’t accompanied him. His eyes met yours in a wordless stare off.

In your flustered state, it took you an embarrassing amount of time to fumble your seat belt off, after which you finally popped out into the heat of the day. Moving from the cool, dark of the car made the sunlight feel as though it were blistering your eyeballs. You moved blindly forward until Tony stopped you by grasping your arms.

“I thought you said we were going to your place,” you said.

“This is a place of mine. In a manner of speaking.” He pushed open the nearest door, looking at you expectantly. You eyed him with suspicion until he said, “Look, you’ve already made the mistake of coming with me to a secondary location. Might as well see what I’ve got up my sleeves, right?”

That was true. You also weren’t so attached to your life that you found yourself aghast at the thought of being murdered. Your father would probably enjoy the media storm that followed, and you could just imagine your mother carefully planning the way she would cry in each and every interview. So without further pushing, you stepped through the door into a cool, professional interior. An empty secretarial desk sat a few feet away, but before you could register any more than that, Tony followed you in and took your shoulders to guide you deeper inside the building.

“I think this space will do. It’s not too fancy, which will set the right tone.” A woman’s voice drifted down the hallway; you felt Tony’s finger’s tense through the fabric of your top, though he did not stop moving in the same direction. “Do you think security will be a problem?”

“Not at all. Obtrusive, maybe, with a place this size,” a man replied.

“Would putting security in plainclothes make it better?”

“Honestly, I’d prefer to be obtrusive. There are too many wackos out there that won’t double check that Tony was invited before they try to take their revenge. That guy’s made a lot of enemies in a few short years.”

At that time, you and the subject of the conversation rounded a corner that led into a much larger room, all wide, blank walls with pivoting lights hung in lines from the ceiling. Arriving revealed the owners of the two voices: Pepper Potts and a stout man with short, dark hair. They were deeply involved in whatever they were discussing, or were, until the man stopped Pepper mid-step to kiss her.

Tony cleared his throat. The two sprang apart in surprise, but the space between them was not enough to avoid a follow-up quip: “Please, no hanky-panky in my gallery. I like to watch the security camera footage when I can’t sleep and I don’t want to see this next time I do.”

Pepper quickly recovered. “It’s not your gallery,” she said.

“My name’s on the lease.”

“Your company’s name is on the lease, and your company is now my company. Or have you forgotten that you refused to accept my resignation?”

Tony came around you, and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Miss Potts. Or of you and your head of security snogging so long as you agree to keep it off film. ”

“Good. What are you doing here anyway? Last I checked, this place hasn’t been used since we purchased it.”.

“Exactly. Thought now would be the perfect time to change that. Unless you two are planning to use it for something more than a private love nest?”

“Love nest?” Pepper echoed incredulously.

Mr. Head of Security looped an arm through hers, causing her to break off before she could build up a proper head of steam. “Maybe we shouldn’t have this discussion in front of strangers,” he said in a low voice.

Pepper blinked, looked around, and then spotted you standing next to and a little behind Tony. She did not flush or behave at all as though you’d seen anything she’d rather you not have. In fact, she simply smiled and moved forward to hold her hand out to you.

“[Name]. Good to see you again. How are you?”

“Fine, Miss Potts,” you said, just as mechanically as you shook her hand.

“Pepper, please. Oh! Let me introduce you. This is my boyfriend and head of security for Stark Industries, Happy Hogan.”

“It’s a pleasure,” said Happy, as he, too, shook your hand.

“Happy, this is [F Name] [L Name], Tony’s girlfriend.”

Your hand seized up inside of Happy’s. “I am not Tony’s girlfriend,” you managed to choke out.

“Is it really that bad a gig?” Tony demanded. “Try to sound more offended next time.”

Pepper moved smoothly on. “My mistake. Happy, this is [Name], Tony’s…”

She left a space for you to fill in. Unfortunately, your mind went just as blank in that moment. What could you say? You couldn’t tell this woman you were sleeping around with her ex in exchange for favors! Word would get out! Pepper seemed nice, but her feelings about Justin weren’t any more favorable than Tony’s, and once he took over your family’s business—well, she was a professional if you’d ever seen one. It would be downright dumb of her not to leak information of your chicanery, and Pepper Potts was not dumb. Up and down you pumped Happy’s arm, up and down and up and down, until Tony came once again to your rescue:

“Friend. A childhood friend.”

“…Tony’s friend,” Pepper finished.

“Good to meet you,” you said in a rush, but it was far too late for you to make a good impression. Happy extracted his hand from yours with a smile you suspected was forced.

“Yes, I remember him talking about you on our way to the airport the other night,” he said. He slipped both of his hands into his jacket pockets, as though worried you might snatch one up again. Or maybe just to dry them off. The stress of the situation had not quelled the sweating of your palms.

“So, are you two really planning to use this for something?” Tony interjected, before you could ask Happy what he meant.

Pepper and Happy exchanged a look.

“What do you want it for?” Happy asked.

“Top secret. Need to know basis only. Ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend doesn’t need to know.”

Happy looked ready to argue, but Pepper silenced him with a soft hand on one of his broad shoulders. “I supposed we could hold this at one of the more upscale venues. But Tony, if this is about Iron Man—”

“It’s not,” Tony said quickly. “You’re going to love this, Pep. Totally on the up and up. I swear.”

Her eyes moved to linger on you. You did your best not to shy away from her sharp gaze. Why did you feel like she was trying to work out whether or not you could rein Tony in if need be? No way in hell could that happen. After all, you had no more idea of what he wanted from this building than she did. It felt like an entire minute passed before Pepper finally let out a sharp breath, turning her attention back to him.

“Fine. But you owe me a favor,” she said.

“Anything.”

“Meeting in my office, ten o’ clock tomorrow.”

“Not that anything.”

She smiled as she motioned for Happy to follow her toward the rear entrance. “You already said anything. All I want is the finished blueprints for your tower and the generator. If you actually show up with what we need, you won’t have to listen to me nag you about it anymore. Happy, do you think we can make to the alternate location before my three o’ clock?”

Happy’s answer was lost behind the shut door. You stared after them with the nerves already rising in your veins. Oh, God. That had gone terribly. Pepper had no reason to believe you weren’t an idiot before. Even your father would be able to find a reason for you to not look stupid in front Stark Industries’ current CEO!

“Hey. You ready to get started?”

You snapped back to the present with a start to find Tony staring expectantly at you for the second time in under an hour. Warmth crept into your face. The way he was looking at you was not the way he looked at Pepper. There was a softness then that vanished the minute she did. Now he was back to business, back to work, back to dealing with you.

“Ready to start what?” you asked uncertainly.

He gestured around the room with a flourish. “This, princess, is about to be turned into your photo gallery.”

“My-my-”

“Gallery, yeah,” he said when your shock overrode your ability to form complete sentences. “I know you weren’t all gung ho about it when I brought it up before, but now…Figure it’s the perfect thing. You like to take pictures, right?”

“Yes.”

“You want to do something you’re good at for a living, right?”

“Yes.”

“There you go. You supply the art. I supply the venue. No one has to know anything we don’t want them to.”

All of sudden, you found it a beautiful idea. All of those pictures sitting on your computer, ready to be found and used against you at a moment’s notice, instead out for display. You wouldn’t have to hide them anymore. People could see them. Real people. People who might not dismiss them, like Justin had, when you’d first picked up a camera.

The shining bubble of hope burst as quickly as it had come to life.

“That still doesn’t help me convince my dad I’m not worthless,” you said.

“No, but,” Tony placed a hand on your shoulder, “it’ll prove to you you’re not worthless. I’ve seen some of your work. It’s good. Other people will think so, too.”

The bubble returned. You glanced around at all the bare walls once more. Maybe this wasn’t the out you’d wanted from Tony, but it was an out. That was enough for now. Still something bothered you: His offer was good. His offer was kind. And in exchange for what? Some lame rebound sex with a girl he used to know?

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked him. “There’s still time to back out. Maybe you can still get Pepper back.”

Tony rolled his eyes as he stuck his hand out toward you. “First of all, you approached me with this idea. Secondly, you keep bringing up Pepper, and I’m liable to think you’re jealous. We’re over. I don’t love Pepper anymore. Now, it’s up to you: Deal or no deal?”

The way you eyed his hand momentarily was entirely for show. You had no dignity left to concern yourself with, and he knew that just as well as you did. This was a chance you would have jumped at even if there had been a few shreds left to you.

“Deal,” you said, shaking his hand.

His escape from your grip was much swifter than Happy’s. “Great. Come on. Let me show you around. Tell you what I’ve got in mind.”

You trotted after him, though your steps were a little less eager than perhaps they should have been. The guilt of disobeying your parents had evaporated as it always did in the light of Tony’s presence. Now it was replaced by a different kind of guilt entirely. Tony said he didn’t love Pepper anymore. Maybe he believed it. But you had seen the way he looked at her, the way his fingers felt against your shoulders when he heard her talking to another man.

Many years ago, you had learned the hard way just what it meant to get in between Tony and something that he wanted. It meant heartbreak. As you listened to Tony talk about the building’s situation, you thought back to your breakfast with Rhodey. You had told him then you were fine being the rebound girl. Though that had been only hours ago, you wondered now if you had meant it as badly as you wanted to.

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annabellenaughtyprincessrose · 3 years

Text

My Brothers, The Lovers ❤ (Repost: Classic fanfic)

My Brothers, The Lovers *Revised version*

By Annabelle Naughty Princess Rose

Summary:I wouldn't trade my Brothers for anything in the world. SAM/DEAN/OFC. Wincest!

Rated: MA (18+)

Author notes: Hey guys! Well, I have another classic fic of mine to share. This was a little idea I had while I wrote this story, an OFC sister of Sam and Dean Winchester, and thier growing forbidden bond. So, this is a Wincest story.

This story was recently published on my Fanfiction.net, as well as on live journal, Wattpad, and WordPress page. There may be some little changes I made because the story had bad typos. (Don't judge me.)

Please note: That this story contains Wincest. If you are uncomfortable with this nature, please DO NOT read!

Lastly, I don't own any characters. The story plot was my idea. ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

(Reader's POV:)

I love my brothers. They are caring. They are protective. When you're feeling down, they turn your frown upside down. If it was over a guy, they would stop at nothing to nail his ass to a wall. Any person, whether boy or girl is lucky to have them.

I wouldn't trade my brothers for anything in the world. They are a godsend. Sam and Dean: my knights in shinning amour.

We been through a lot together. Since our father died, it has been hell on earth...literally!

But no matter, we had stuck it through till the end and now we could live our lives...

A lot has happened since we saved the world from certain doom. We had one hard challenge: to learn how to live normal lives. I mean, I know it sounds stupid to do one simple thing, but come on, In our eyes, we are hunters. We were born as hunters. I don't think the three of us couldn't shake the fact that life was over. It was the only thing we knew.

But still, we somehow mange to cope with it. We settled in Kansas with the help of our father's will. We brought a house pretty much like the one you see on those commercials with the white picket fence.

It was close to the University Sam was planning to attend to resume his studies as a attorney and close to Lisa, Dean's one last stand and his possible legitimate lovechild Ben. I, myself was planning to go to a local Community College. At first, I didn't really wanted to go to school, but Sam insisted that it was serve me well later in life.

Yeah, life was perfect... at least for the half of that year. The urge of the life of freedom were still brewing inside us. We miss the life with no worries, of bills, school, kids...

So we sold the house hop into the impala and left.

About three months after, I noticed that our bond was changing. I noticed Dean would at times, would make quick glances out from the corner of my eye. I really didn't pay to much attention to it at first because I thought it was something that brothers normally do.

But now I found at night when I take turns laying next to him or Sam, at times I could have swore I felt his eyes staring down at me while I sleep.

Sam on the other hand had a very different approach. There would be times whenever me and him are alone, he wouldn't normally act like your typical big brother. He would act as though like a boyfriend. When me and him are alone, He would be a lot closer than usual. At times when I'm in the shower, I could have swore that I heard him breathing on the other side of the curtain not to mention to very tall figure I see just standing mere inches.

I guess I'm just imagination things. That's it's all in my head. Or maybe, I have a bad case of thinking dirty. Can I help it? I am not going to lie. My brothers are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! They could get the princess of Cambridge a heat attack! I found that comment to be quite interesting! I begin to think the times when the three of us would be out, like geoceries shopping, bars,at the park. I have women rolling their eyes, whispering words about me, thinking that I was a whore for my brothers...

Nothing could prepare me for what happened two weeks later...

I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a sleazy hotel. I was writing in my journal at the same time sneaking glances at Dean as he was wiping down the impala. The way he smiles as he glazes down at his baby makes me happy but a tad jealous...but he assure me that I was his main baby.

I could hear the faint sound of water coming from the bathroom. Sam,was inside, washing his god build form in the shower.

Turning my head, I couldn't help but grin as I saw a narrow view of his ass. Even after all these years, Sam still had a nasty habit about leaving the shower curtain open.

"Hey," Dean replies getting my attention. I turn my head towards him trying to look innocent."What are you smirking at?" He asks.

At his question, I raised my eyebrows giving him a side smile.

"Nothing. just a thought I was thinking." I looked up at him and I could tell he wasn't buying it. That's the thing I love about Dean, he has the sense to know whether something was troubling me or Sam...and he would stop at nothing to find out.

"About? I curious," He replies in a singing tone making me laugh.

"It's personal. My thoughts only," I winked. Finally he give up the debate and returns to his duty wiping down his impala.

Later that night, we decided to pay a visit at local bar. That day was the worst night of my life.

To be from what seemed, the only sibling with two very handsome attractive brothers was a bitch!

From the second we walk in, there were woman, whether their were in a relationship,married, or even betrayal their same-sex partner, had cornered us.

One was a blonde, who I can tell had the personality of stupid trying to seduce Dean with her luscious but totally fake breasts. While a brunette who was staring Sam down and was the bartender of the bar didn't give a damn if she had other people waiting to be served. It disgust me how women could be so depraved for a man.

I wanted to get out of there. The room felt as through it was trying to suffocate me. It hurt my heart to see I was the only one left out. To keep myself from bursting into tears, I did just that but my attempt to leave was cut short by a hand on by wrists.

Turning my head, I came face to face to a man who was pure hillbilly. He had messy hair,oily jumper and I remember that when I was at the bar, I would turn my head and he would smile at me.

"Where do you think you're going, darling?" The man asked. I can tell that he was drunk and had the slightest clue as what he was doing.

"Going home," I replied. "And I appreciated if you remove your hand from my wrist." I tried to Jerk him away but it was a useless attempt.

"I don't think so darling, You're looking very pretty there's no need for an angel face like you to scurry away..."He tried to pull me along, but I stood my ground. Then he does the unthinkable, He roughly pulls me against him loosing his balance completely falling on one of the now broken tables.

Everyone turned their heads Including Sam and Dean who immediately lest from their social gathering to my aid.

"Hey Asshole!"Dean replies as he and Sam walked over to the scene. "What are you doing with my sister?!" He began to throw insults at the poor man, while ignoring Sam's attempt to help me up, I stood up on my feet.

"I'm fine," I replied. "The fat ass broke my fall."

"Fat ass?" The man shouted. "Who are you calling a fat ass you bitch!"

"Hey!" Dean shouted. reaching down to jerk the man up by his collar. "Don't fucking talk to my sister like that!"

"What happened?" Sam asked, taking my hand and I jerked it away.

"Oh! Like you care! he was trying to rape me!" I shouted. "Forget it! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The last thing I remember was Dean calling that fat bastard "a Son of a Bitch" before throwing punches and Sam trying to calm him down.

At the Hotel, I stood fully nude in the shoulder letting the warm water abuse my body. I was just so relieved that I got out of there.

So what I acted like a ass. So what if I act like a jealous girlfriend. I'm not going to be held responsive. I could hear the door to the hotel room opening following the distant voices between the two.

Dean was shouted some sentence that were inseparable and Sam was speaking in a mild tone. I covered my ears, to try to block out the conversation, along with the pounding of the door, but it a useless. Finally, I finished my shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and took a deep breath. I made my way out of the bathroom with my head down before glazing at the faces of my older brothers.

Sam, who now has a sad look on his face. His green eyes sparking with concern. Whilst Dean has a pissed off expression, trying his best to remain calm. There were no words that were unable to fall out of mouth. I just walked passed them and climb into to very large king side bed we shared with saying a unexpectedly surprising, I suddenly began to cry my ear out.

Almost immediately, Sam and Dean's expressions changed. If they were confused, I could say the same thing. The reason why I was crying, I couldn't understand. I was always the second tough one when it comes from intense situations, I guess with everything that we had been through together finally had took a toll on me. I see with my watery eyes Sam turned towards Dean and he nodded his head. without hesitation, they began to walk towards me.

Dean lay on my left, Sam lay on my right. They huddled up against me trying to console me. Sam was wiping away from my tears, while Dean began to rub small circles down my back.

This warm fuzzy feeling began to grow inside me. I gaze into Sam's eyes and I can see the easiness and calm in his face. Then I did the unthinkable. I reached my hand and caress his cheek and I leaned in a kiss him passionately on the lips.

There was no feeling I can't describe other than, I felt as through I explode into a million pieces. What was more shocking is that Sam didn't pull away. He gave in and began to response with my advances. Dean was anxious to show his passion. I could feel his lips on my neck, his hands trailed down to my breast giving them a firm squeeze.

I moaned in response breaking my lips with Sam replacing them with his. I tried to show my love for the both of them. Wanting to give them all of me...

Everything happen in a flash. the removing of clothes. The hot soft lips on my heated skin. The feeling of being completely filled. Like flipping a page in a book. Like riding the biggest wave and suddenly ,you're caught in the tide.I felt so much pleasure.

It felt like Heaven. It was heaven...

That was last night...

And here we are...

Today is a new day. I stare at the ceiling with a smile on my face as I felt warm naked bodies sleeping silently against me...

Nude Dean on my left...

Nude Sam on my right.

Right now, I can't say that God is pleased. Not with the events that had happened. Now, When I said I love my brothers...I love them more than just a sibling nature. I love them, I'm madly in love with them! When I think of their eyes and their smiling faces, it makes my body want to explode in fireworks.I don't care what people would say. I don't care if our father would turn over in his grave, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world! it always will be the three of us forever...

Sam and Dean,

My brothers, the lovers.

The End.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam and dean #wincest #winchester brothers #winchester sister #samwinterchester #sam x dean x reader smut #dean x reader #sam x reader #supernatural+smut #spn smut

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matbarzyy · 3 years

Note

How about #8 with beau ?

A/N: Don’t ask me how this turned into something so long, it just did, so I hope you’ll like it. The prompt was “I’m crying on the bathroom floor, how do you think I feel?”

Word count: 1897

Warnings: abuse (family, mentioned but not detailed, mostly just yelling)

You had always been convinced that Anthony Beauvillier’s niceness had to be fake. There was just something about him that you felt was… different. Something was off with him and you could never get used to having him around.

It was a bit of an issue considering he was always with Mat and Mat just happened to be dating your best friend, Sarah. No matter what you said, they always thought it was great that the two of you could hang out so that you wouldn’t be third wheeling, and at first they even hoped you’d end up together.

After months of bickering between the two of you, it was now obvious that you would never date, but you were still forced to deal with each other. Tito couldn’t be excluded from your best friend’s birthday celebrations, and neither could you.

“I’ll be right back,” you excused yourself from a conversation to go outside.

The noise of the party was too much for you tonight. As hard as you tried, you weren’t having a good time and you were truly glad that Sarah was busy with Mat and some other people for now. You had been with her all day long doing as much as possible for her to enjoy her birthday, but now you really needed a break from everyone.

You had bigger things to worry about, and you knew you were far from done with the worrying when you saw your little brother was calling you.

“Tommy, what’s wrong?” You picked up the phone instantly. You wished you could have answered like a normal person, just saying hello and asking him how he was, but with the way things were at home you knew him calling past ten pm couldn’t be good.

“Jack is yelling again,” the ten years old sniffled.

“Where’s mom?” You asked instinctively though you knew she’d do very little to help.

“He’s yelling at her,” he told you, which only relieved you a little.

“Okay, and where are you?” You continued to assess the situation as calmly as you could despite wanting to break down and cry.

“Under my bed,”

“It’s all going to be okay,” you felt tears sting your eyes despite your best efforts. “You just stay where you are, and stay really quiet, can you do that for me?”

“I’m scared,” he almost whimpered, making you wish you could instantly teleport to his side, or even better, to kick the ass of the person scaring him.

“I know baby,” you wiped your thumbs under your eyes to get rid of the tears. There was nothing you could do in this moment except help him get through it. “I’ll be there in three days, remember? I’ll come home and we can pack your things and you’ll go to this really nice school in New York and make tons of new friends,”

“I want to go now,” the little boy complained.

“I want that too. It’ll be really fast, you won’t even see time go by, okay? I bought you those spiderman bed sheets you told me about, remember those?” You held yourself together and did your best to distract him.

Tommy listened, chiming in every now and then, but you could still tell he was scared from his muffled crying and quiet sniffles. Every little sound made your heart shatter more. You remembered being in his place, scared of a man and hiding in your closet or under your bed when you were even younger than him. You remembered trying to call the police only for your mom to get angry at you after the officers had taken you back home to her. You remembered the helplessness knowing that no one would help you.

It wasn’t Jack, at the time, but the situation was the same. You believed it had stopped when Tommy was born and your mom took you away with him when he was just a baby to get you to a safer apartment. You believed he was safe when you applied to a college so far from him, you believed it would all be okay and you could come visit during holidays.

It took less than a semester for things to turn sour again, for Tom to call you crying in the middle of the night and for your mom to lie to you about her new boyfriend every time you managed to get her on the phone too. Now, the guilt of leaving was eating at you and you would do anything to fix it.

Ever since Tom’s first call, you had been saving up all you could to book a flight to take him to New York with you. Your apartment was small, but you didn’t have a roommate so you wouldn’t bother anyone by letting Tom live with you. You’d only have to sort your schedule out according to his own school times.

You weren’t in the mood to deal with the party anymore when you went back inside, but it was still going full force around you. Mat’s place was big, so there were more people than you could count and you found that far too many were gigantic hockey players as you struggled to push your way through the crowd to the bathroom.

You went straight into Mathew’s bedroom, knowing it was off limits during the party and that his attached bathroom would be quiet and unoccupied. It’s not like you hadn’t been there before, neither he or Sarah would be mad at you for hiding in there once you’d tell them why.

You hadn’t shared your family history with many people, but Sarah was the only person who knew everything about you and you had drunkenly told Mat most of the story one night when you were hanging out with the two of them.

You sobbed your heart out on the floor, splashing cold water on your face when you calmed down only to break down again minutes later and making your eyes go even redder if possible. Your makeup had been washed down the drain by now, and your top was damp from the water that had run down your neck whenever you tried to regain a bit of composure.

It was uncomfortable and you were debating just stealing some of Mat’s clothes and locking yourself in his guest bedroom for the rest of the night.

You were still sitting on the cold tiles when a sound disturbed you. It might have been Mat coming into his room, and maybe with Sarah, so you were about to push yourself up to make yourself known when the door to the bathroom was pushed open.

Anthony stood there with wide eyes when he found you, any snarky comment he could have made dying on his tongue when he saw the way you looked.

“Um, are you feeling okay?” He asked, awkwardly shuffling on his feet.

“I’m crying on the bathroom floor, how do you think I feel?” You glared at him, but you knew you probably just looked like a pathetic mess. “What are you even doing here?”

“There’s a line for the bathroom out there, I didn’t think anyone would be here,” he explained, looking back behind himself to check that no one had followed him into the room.

“Yeah well, guess I’ll remember to lock the door next time.” You scoffed, wiping your face clean of tears again while he remained there completely still. “Are you so amused by the fact that I’m having a horrible night that you’re just going to stand there and watch?”

“I’m not amused.” He shook his head, finally unfrozen. “Can I sit with you?”

“You’re joking, right?” Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence, weak from your crying, and you tried to pass it off as a cough.

“I’m not heartless, I don’t think you deserve to be alone right now.” Anthony gave you a look that told you you weren’t fooling him with your fake coughing. “I’d get Sarah but she’s probably too drunk to be any help,”

“You can sit if it’ll make you shut up,” you eventually grumbled, too tired to spend more time arguing with him.

Tito nodded and closed the door behind himself before he sat down beside you.

He did as you asked and kept his mouth shut. He could have been out there with his friends having a good time, but somehow he chose to remain by your side. You despised him a little less for that. There were better people to bring you comfort, but he was all you could get right now and you were thankful that someone was there to keep you from getting in your head even more.

“You don’t suck as much as I thought you did,” you eventually broke the silence, earning a chuckle from him.

“Thanks… I guess,” he cleared his throat. “Can I ask why you got that impression?”

“Guys that look nice and act nice are always too good to be true,”

“So you hate me because you’re attracted to me?” He turned to look at you and you gave him a disgusted look.

“I’m not attracted to you!” You exclaimed while he scoffed.

“Yeah, right,” Tito rolled his eyes, not buying your lie.

“Did I mention that you’re annoyingly cocky?” You added to prove your point, and he nodded like he had been expecting that answer.

“I guess you have now,” he waited for whatever insult you were going to throw at him next, but you turned quiet instead.

“Sorry,” you whispered after a moment.

“For what?”

“We’re not friends, and you found me crying here and stuck around instead of running away and now I’m being a bitch to you,” you pretended to pick at things in the fabric of your jeans so that you wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Doesn’t change much from the way we usually interact,” he replied and saw the way your shoulders hunched a little further. “Hey, I’m only joking,” he immediately went back on his words. He had only meant to poke you to earn another of your sassy replies.

Instead, he had made you cry again and now he didn’t know what to do. Hesitantly, he lifted his hand and placed it on your back to rub what he hoped would be soothing circles. You didn’t look at him, but you leaned into the touch and it was enough for him to pull you into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out between sobs, your voice half muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay,” Tito let you hide against his chest. “You’re the boldest person I’ve ever met, and you’re brilliant. There’s nothing in this world you can’t handle,” he ran his hand up and down your back, feeling you slowly settle against him. “Whatever is going on, I know you’re going to make it all okay eventually,”

“It’s scary,” you admitted through a whisper, and Tito hugged you tighter.

“You’re safe here.”

“I know,” you breathed out, relaxing into his arms and letting your eyes fall shut as you focused on the sound of his heartbeat.

There was a lot left for you to do before things could be okay, but in that moment in Anthony’s arms you were safe, and you knew you would get there.

Please reblog and let me know what you thought!!

taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added/removed): @itrocksmysocks @kerwritesthings @pupsandpucks @barzysreputation @whythough1319 @smit41 @glassdanse @fiveholegoal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @thefootballfaithfull @calgarycanuck @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls

#tw #tw:abuse #anthony beauvillier #tito beauvillier #anthony beauvillier fic #anthony beauvillier angst #tito beauvillier fic #tito beauvillier angst #nhl fic #hockey fic #ny isles #new york islanders

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theywontletmebeprincipal · 3 years

Note

can you give me drowsy headcanons, ramble, or anything please, i am so deprived. do not be afraid to make it super long, the more the better, i just love drowsy chaperone and love to hear other people (plus you’re one of the only people i’ve seen who knows a lot abt it)

ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE

I’ll divide this into a few different parts, going from least to most excruciatingly sad :)

1. general headcanons

2. in canon things i noticed and think about daily

3. a full analysis of man in chair’s connections with the drowsy chaperone as an in universe show (trigger warning for abuse ment, alcoholism ment, suicide ment)

SECTION ONE: HEADCANONS

- okay the chaperone is trans I don’t make the rules

- also her name is ambrosia :) she forsook her last name :)

- she’s about 12 years older than janet and kinda hung with janet’s family after leaving her own for a while . essentially she’s a big sister to janet

- aldolpho has some lines where he asks if the bride is big and/or burly and while in canon this is supposed to show he’s kind of a womanizer I like to believe it’s because he was fully prepared to fight her if needed

- speaking of which Of Course janet is ripped she does gymnastics

- my batshit crazy headcanon for this show is that dee dee allen from the prom is a descendant of roman bartelli no I will not elaborate

- is aldolpho one of those bitches with pets that definitely shouldn’t be legal? yessir

- post show kitty becomes a star okay I just want her to be happy

- the “pastry chefs” do discover a love of baking post show and now run a shop along with performing in feldzeig’s follies which might maybe be a front for some crime too

- TRIX DROWSY AND ALDOLPHO WORLD TRAVELING POLYCULE CAUSING PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE

- underling’s name is james I will not elaborate on this either

- show never says what trix does so I’ve decided she’s an explorer. she charts maps and punches colonialists and drags her stupid friends along with her, the only bitch in the show with a braincell

- drowsy was a former vaudeville child star pre transition - she left the business but was a mentor to janet

- I do have a headcanon for mic’s name but in the spirit of every actor who’s ever played him I won’t fucking tell

SECTION TWO: SHIT I NOTICED

- robert refers to himself by full name a lot of the time which is v interesting given he’s named after the writer, bob martin (whose wife is also named janet van de graaf). the real bob martin is like five feet away at all times playing mic

- idk how to describe it but the dynamic kitty and feldzeig (VICTOR felgzeig. we have a name from one (1) line) have when talking to each other is so snappy and funny and good

- aldolpho’s lines in spanish are mostly romantic bullshit but his first one hints that he has/had a wife who, if we’re taking the translation literally, refused to touch him. yeah I’ll bring this up in analysis

- the “pastry chefs” provide liquor for the wedding even though it has absolutely no relevance to their mission of stopping it :)

- drowsy is like. SUPER endearing towards janet and despite her bad social skills it’s super clear she cares a lot about her

- robert speaks fluent french apparently

- everyone says “ew” after aldolpho reveals his affair with drowsy despite her being a certified milf

- the body language of drowsy in the end of the show where she takes mic’s hands and breaks the barrier between reality and fiction is just so good. she was iconic the whole show but I honestly think this final bit is what won beth leavel the Tony in the end

SECTION THREE: OH NO

before diving into the way the drowsy chaperone affects his character, we need to understand what exactly it’s playing off of. to fully understand mic’s attachment to the drowsy chaperone, we need to outline what led him to isolating himself and living in fiction to the extent that he does.

mic’s father left his family at an early age and his semi estranged alcoholic mother was the one who began his love for theatre. mic grew up in a broken household and eventually moved on to land in a one sided marriage, which lasted a few months until he slipped up and expressed his discomfort with the situation, after which he and his wife split. nowadays, he lives alone in his apartment surrounded by records he uses to escape to a better life - his favorite of which being the one his mother gave him, the drowsy chaperone.

symbolism in the drowsy chaperone regarding mic’s life can be split into two main categories - mommy issues and internalized homophobia. there isn’t nearly as much mom symbolism as there is the latter, so I’ll cover that first.

drowsy covers both bases, but she definitely has some undeniable mom symbolism going on. drowsy marries aldolpho and mom dreams of being swept off her feet by a latin lover, both feel they’ve wasted their chances at love, both drink to forget, etc. this is where the idea of the drowsy chaperone being mic’s ideal way for things to work out, a positive parallel, comes into play. given that we don’t hear too much about mic’s mom other than her connections to major life events and the record itself, we can assume they grew apart in one way or another. the key difference is that drowsy finds a happy relationship for herself and retains her bond with janet, unlike what we’re led to assume mom was like.

further elaborating on the drowsy chaperone representing mic’s ideal fantasy version of events is the wedding the drowsy chaperone’s plot centers around. here’s a list of the things that didn’t stop that damn wedding:

- a minister not showing up

- the groom cheating on the bride with the bride

- the bride having a complete mental breakdown

- indirect mafia interference

- direct mafia interference

on the flip side, what little mic says about his wedding indicates it sucked absolute ass. he spent the entire ceremony in internal distress as he went through with a life changing event he, at that point, knew at least a bit that he didn’t want. I think he also implies he had severe diarrhea on the wedding day? it gets worse when you realize mic’s relationship before the wedding wasn’t any good for him either - he was playing along the whole time because it would be cruel not to, right?

throughout the show, mic is pretty clearly shown as an extremely repressed gay man. there are five specific instances that point at romantic and/or sexual attraction to men directly and another moment outside of his commentary that pretty much confirms it if you look a little bit deeper. thus, here is what I propose - to mic, the drowsy chaperone’s wedding plot represents a world where he was able to ignore that part of himself and have a happy marriage with his wife despite all the overwhelming obstacles thrown at him. however, bits and pieces of that internalized homophobia manage to show themselves throughout the drowsy chaperone anyway despite its happy ending. here’s a rundown on a few significant instances:

- by the end of the show, the “pastry chefs”, who had literally been planning to kill feldzeig, have left their life of crime to perform with him. this symbolizes how in mic’s ideal world he would have been able to turn away from what he perceived at the time as living wrongly - his homosexuality

- at the same time, the “pastry chefs” have this line, spoken in regards to janet: “if she gets married and leaves the show... there ain’t no show.” this is a take on mic’s subconscious concern that he might lose himself if he goes on with his marriage pretending everything is alright - of course, as we already know, he doesn’t listen

- “cold feets” is a pretty obvious instance of mic’s hesitation

- aldolpho’s line in spanish regarding the wife who won’t touch him flips to reflect on mic’s treatment of his own ex wife - she was alien to him as a lover, just as aldolpho was to this woman

- janet recalls her meeting robert at a point in the show and states “we spooned, briefly, then he proposed.” though mic’s relationship pre marriage was much longer than that, it must have felt that way to him - just as quick and nonsensical as janet describes

- just as janet is caught in showbiz but has a toxic love for it, so does mic with his own repressed life

- janet has a line in “show off” that alludes to her experiencing harassment/assault: “I don’t wanna be cheered no more/ praised no more/ grabbed no more/ touched no more/ loved no more” , which I believe represents the way mic perceived his intimacy with his wife - labeled as love yet unenjoyable for him

- “I look into his eyes... I get all woozy. and that’s... love, isn’t it?” is another very clear nod to mic’s misconception of love based off the only thing he’s ever experienced, relationships with women he’s had to fake

- this is the part where I tell you the lyrics to toledo surprise are a metaphor for actively suppressing gay thoughts. I’ll just leave you with “if it tries to rise; don’t let it”. these lyrics are not comprehensive enough to make a dish - trust me, I have tried. it’s also notable that they serve a double entendre as instructions on how to beat the shit out of someone, but several lyrics are also directed towards the singer/audience. for example: “it’s a snap/ try it folks/ whip your whites/ split your yolks” is an easy metaphor for the unhealthy mental gymnastics required to repress oneself so wholeheartedly

it’s also worth noting the obvious just for the sake of it - mic copes with all this by isolating himself in a safe spot where he can use musicals to escape and live his ideal fantasy, even if it’s only for a short time. there are plenty of nods to this throughout the drowsy chaperone as well. in “as we stumble along” drowsy notes that “the best that we can do is hope a bluebird/ will sing a song/ as we stumble along” - to mic, musicals are his bluebird. while mic mostly indulges in these fantasies, he knows to a certain extent the sheer amount of time he’s spending in them is unhealthy. the first line of the show is “I hate theatre” and I think that to an extent? he does. obviously mic loves theatre as a concept, that can’t be denied. what he hates is the way he’s allowed it to confine him.

with all that out of the way, let’s move on to the most important moment of the show. if you’ve ever seen the show, you’ll know exactly which scene I’m talking about immediately. I’m referring to, of course, the infamous “l-ve while you can” scene. as janet stands at the alter she asks drowsy for one final word of advice, which is partially obscured by aldolpho dropping his cane. “l-ve while you can.” it’s a simple moment, but mic reveals to us that he’s been agonizing over it for years - did drowsy say “live” or “leave”? it occurs to everyone eventually, whether a couple days after the show like with me, or years after like with bob martin’s replacement on broadway that the most likely answer is that she had said “love while you can”. it’s this moment, when you realize why mic had never seen that as an option, that the drowsy chaperone’s status as a musical within a comedy within a tragedy is solidified. mic had no love in his life - his parents hated each other and he was forcing himself into relationships in which he felt nothing. to him, living and leaving were options, but loving never was. so he locked himself away.

as the final note on the record is playing, all power in mic’s apartment shuts down and the fantasy is ruined. the superintendent arrives and further invades his space, breaking the private sanctity he had built up for so long. she fixes the power and before mic can stop it from happening, the final note of the record plays. and the super recognizes it as a musical. she makes a remark about how much her wife loves musicals and leaves, completely unaware of what she’s just done.

mic sits in silence for a while. and then he begins to sing. gradually, the cast members begin to echo their songs, dancing around him but never touching him. then drowsy appears and sings harmony to mic. and she takes his hands. the show ends with the entire cast, including mic, taking off on trix’s airplane as the curtain falls, drowsy handing mic his record as the plane takes off.

some people interpret the ending as mic committing suicide, finally deciding between live and leave. I don’t personally believe that and neither does writer and original mic bob martin, but it’s still a valid interpretation. the drowsy chaperone’s ending is ambiguous, yes, but not to that extent. no matter what you believe the ending means, it was brought on not by the interruption of the fantasy, but by whatever realization the super’s remark about her wife triggered. as I see it, there are two main options here.

option one - mic realizes he still has time to live and to love. when he was younger the prospect of living as himself was unthinkable to him, yet now he sees that while he was spending countless years alone the world grew. drowsy offers mic her hand, an invitation to finally become what he had admired in her - someone who isn’t anywhere near perfect, but is damn well trying and living life without regret. he accepts.

option two - mic realizes that while he spent years alone the world moved on without him and he’s isolated himself so much from social interaction that he’d no longer be able to make a meaningful connection with anyone outside. so he stays inside instead, never trying, always trapped between live and leave. drowsy offers mic her hand - at least he’ll have a tune to carry with him.

I really want to believe we got option one. I think option one is the intended, really, given mic ends the show with a joyful goodbye to the audience. but the way that the ending is still left open for interpretation makes it so that we can never really know - we as the audience only get to be privy to a small part of mic’s life, and we don’t get the answers we want because at the end of the day they’re irrelevant to us - all we can do is make our own choice.

#the drowsy chaperone #musical theatre #musicals #broadway #musical meta #man in chair

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cutelittlestar · 4 years

Text

Liar || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You frequently get bullied at school, but you act as if everything is fine. Peter takes your word but as time goes by, he notices you’ve been lying to him.

Word Count: 4.2k

Warning(s): slut shaming, mental/emotional abuse, bullying, violence, angst.

A/N: I got bored during the weekend, so I quickly wrote this imagine. If you see any grammar errors, no you didn’t 😀

You’re such a fucking whore. Any person that says they’re interested in you is full of shit. Why don’t you just do us a favor and fucking leave?

You stared at your phone, feeling your eyes get watery as you read the text message over and over again. Your hands began to shake and you felt a lump form in your throat, making it harder for you to breathe. A sob escaped your mouth, but you bit your lip, afraid that someone would hear you crying. The first time you received a hate message like this, you blocked the number, but as days went by, you continued to get more hateful messages to the point where you didn’t even bother blocking the various numbers. What difference would it make? It would never end.

“Y/N!” you heard Peter shout down the hallway. You flinched at Peter’s voice, and you quickly turned off your phone before shoving it in your sweater. For a short moment, you wondered why Peter was calling your name, but once you glanced at your alarm, you remembered you had school. You rapidly got off your bed and headed towards your mirror, hastily wiping away your smeared mascara.

“Hey, you ready to walk to school?” Peter asked; he now stood by the doorframe, but as his eyes landed on your body, he quickly became aware of your silence. You were hunched over your desk but before Peter could ask what was wrong, you turned around, flashing a big, bright, and fake grin.

“Yeah, let’s go.” You grabbed your backpack, heading towards the door, but Peter quickly stepped in the way, worriedly staring at you.

“Is everything alright?” No.

“Yea, why would you ask that?” you nonchalantly asked, hoping Peter would stop asking questions.

“Well, your eyes look really red. Were you crying, y/n?” Shit, he can’t know. Make up a lie.

“Oh,” you forced yourself to chuckle, pretending that everything was fine, “I accidentally poked myself with my mascara wand, that’s all.” Please don’t ask any more questions.

There was an incredibly, painful, and long moment of silence, and you began to panic, dreading that Peter would soon catch on. “Look, can we go now? We’re gonna be late to school,” you said, impatiently tapping your foot on the hardwood floor. Peter noticed how you avoided eye-contact with him, but he decided to not say anything else. He stepped back, giving you enough space so you could walk out of your room.

“Yea, let’s go.”

- - - - -

“You’re telling me that you don’t find Kylo Ren attractive?!” Ned said in bewilderment, harshly staring at Peter as the three of you walked down the hallway. “Dude, you’re a fucking idiot.”

You let out a genuine laugh, completely feeling better as you continued to listen to Ned’s comments. Although you would never truly forget those awful messages, being around your friends made you feel relaxed.

“Y/n,” Ned said, getting your attention, “you agree with me, right?”

“I hundred-percent agree with your statement.”

“You see!” Ned yelled in satisfaction, “I’m not the only one who thinks that.”

As you continued to walk down the hallway, you quickly noticed that many of your peers were staring at you. Suddenly, Ned’s and Peter’s voices were muffled out, and all you could focus on were the stares - stares of disgust, stares of pity, and stares of judgment. You tightly clutched onto your backpack straps, trying to remain calm and raise your head high, but then you noticed that some students were whispering into their friends’ ears, causing you to become anxious. Were they talking about you?

You roughly collided into someone’s back, causing your thoughts to abruptly stop. As you began to apologize to the person, you noticed that they weren’t even paying attention to you at all. Instead, they were more focused on something else. There was a big crowd of students swarming over a singular locker, but you were unable to see why everyone was so drawn in. You turned to look at Ned and Peter, hoping they would know, but they were just confused as you were. You heard fragments of sentences, but as you drew yourself closer to the crowd, the whispers of the students began to grow louder.

Oh my god, one student said. Poor girl.

Bitch had it coming, another voice said. She’s a fucking skank.

I heard she slept with the whole football team. Do you think it’s true?!

Why would anyone do such a thing?

And then it hit you; they were staring at your locker.

Peter and Ned watched as you roughly pushed students to the side until they were unable to see you. An uneasiness started to brew in the pit of your stomach, and you felt like you wanted to throw up. You ignored the stares and whispers as you drew yourself closer until you were finally standing in front of your locker. Your breathing became uneven and your body began to shake; you felt your vision slightly blur as you horrifically stared at the scene.

Written in red paint and large, bold letters was the word slut. Your photo was taped below the word, but your face had been so violently scratched off that your face was nearly unidentifiable.

By now, the crowd had dispersed, but Peter and Ned were still right beside you. They were completely mortified by what they were seeing, but they were more concerned with you; you remained silent, an unreadable expression plastered on your face.

“Y/n...?” Peter whispered, stepping closing and grabbing your shoulder, hoping he could provide some comfort. You weren’t able to understand what he was saying; it was like his voice was coming from a mile away. At this moment, all you wanted to do was run away and cry - cry until you felt numb and there were no more tears left. But you couldn’t, you had to remain strong. They couldn’t know how much it was destroying you on the inside.

The sadness that once controlled your body was utterly gone and was now replaced with rage; with one swift movement, you ripped the photo off of your locker and crumpled up the paper before tossing it to the floor. Peter and Ned eyed one another, unsure of what was going in your head while also worrying that you were avoiding the situation. You opened your locker with ease and proceeded to grab the textbooks you needed.

“C’mon, let’s get to class,” you ushered out before slamming your locker shut. Yet, your feet remained planted on the ground, your eyes continuing to stare at the vulgar word. Don’t cry, you repeated to yourself, taking deep breaths in and out.

“Are you okay?” Ned politely asked, hoping you wouldn’t break down in front of him. “We can skip first period and go somewhere private if you want,” Ned suggested.

You turned around, and to Peter’s and Ned’s surprise, you were showing no signs of despair. Instead, you gave them a soft, reassuring smile, indicating to them that you were alright.

“I’m not bothered at all,” you confidently remarked, adjusting your backpack. “They can say whatever they want about me, but I know it’s not true.”

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, a bit terrified of how calm you were reacting. “Y/n, it’s okay if you’re not alright. You can talk to us, we’re here for you,” Peter conveyed.

“I said I’m fine,” you snapped, causing Peter to quickly shut his mouth. You noticed a frown appear on his face, and you instantly regretted how you responded to Peter. He’s just trying to help, don’t take your anger out on him.

“I’m sorry, Pete,” you said, “I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Peter nodded his head, completely understanding your outburst. You had every reason to be angry, but he kinda wished you told him what you were feeling. You always tended to push your feelings to the side, and Peter worried that you were going to keep quiet.

“I know you guys care about me, but we shouldn’t skip first period. I’m okay, really.”

Liar.

The sound of the bell echoed across the hallway, and you mentally let out a sigh of relief, glad that you could escape Ned and Peter.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” you rapidly said before you turned to the side and walked down the hallway. However, as soon as you turned the corner, you sprinted towards the bathroom, locking yourself in a stall and letting out a despairing cry until the period ended.

A few days later

Peter, MJ, and Ned all sat near each other in the cafeteria, none of them saying a word. MJ and Ned continuously stared at one another before flickering their eyes to Peter, watching as he ate in silence. You were running a bit late, as usual, but MJ hoped that they could quickly discuss your sudden change of behavior. Surely she wasn’t the only one who noticed, right?

“Is Y/n aright?” MJ finally said out loud, causing Peter to look up.

Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” Peter replied.

MJ leaned back in her seat, quickly blinking, unable to believe what Peter just said. Her eyes flashed with anger, and she looked to Ned in shock, frustrated that Peter didn’t realize how your behavior wasn’t normal. “Are you serious right now, Parker?” coldly spat, causing Peter to slightly jump at her harsh tone. Peter remained silent, continuing to stare at MJ in confusion, but then a dejected expression formed on his face, quickly remembering what happened a few days ago.

Peter slowly shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what to say. “She said she was doing fine...”

“And you believed her?!” MJ angrily remarked, slamming her fist on the table and shaking her head in disapproval; god, sometimes Peter can be so oblivious. Peter began to feel horrible as he listened to MJ’s words; he should’ve tried harder - he should’ve asked you how you were doing, but he afraid that if he kept asking, you were going to get irritated and push him away. He didn’t want to create an already distant relationship. MJ took note of Peter’s silence, and she let out a sigh, trying her best to control her frustration.

“She won’t talk to me about it...” MJ confessed, her eyes expressing melancholy, “but maybe she’ll confide in you.”

Peter wanted to believe that you were alright, but MJ was right; he could see how your eyes were duller or how you didn’t speak as much as you usually do. “I’ll talk to her,” Peter promised, offering a genuine smile to Ned and MJ.

“She’s coming,” Ned whispered, telling MJ and Peter to change the topic. Peter raised his head, watching as you headed towards the table with your lunch tray, and he grinned at you; even from a mile away, Peter could see your frown, but once you saw that Peter was staring at you, you quickly changed your stance and expression.

Once you sat down, you flashed them a small smile and softly greeted them before eating your food. As you continued to eat, you were glad that neither of them asked how you were doing. At first, the conversation was a bit dry, but then everything went back to the way it was; MJ and Ned were verbally attacking Peter while you stood by and watched, laughing. Although Peter pretended that he was offended by Ned and MJ, he mentally smiled to himself, noticing how you were laughing just like the way you used to; he missed your smile so much.

Of course, the moment was ruined.

“Hey, you’re Y/n right?” a boy interrupted, placing his arm on the table and leaning in, blocking your view of Peter. MJ and Ned remained silent, glaring at the boy who decided to interrupt their conversation. You felt yourself freeze, a terrified expression on your face, but then you put on a brave face, nodding your head. “Yea, that’s me.”

You felt shivers run down your spine as you watched the boy sinisterly smirk. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. How about you join me in the supply closet and show me what everyone’s been talking about.” Your blood ran cold and your face dropped at his inappropriate response; your hands uncontrollably shook under the table, but you tightly clenched your fists, trying your best to remain calm.

“Fuck off,” was all you said, hoping that would cause him to leave you alone, but he didn’t move an inch.

Suddenly, the sound of hands roughly slamming the table caught your attention, and you diverted your gaze to the sound, watching as Peter angrily stood up. Rage pulsed through Peter’s veins and he aggressively walked closer to the boy, clenching his fists and his jaw.

“Leave her alone,” Peter threatened, feeling his muscles tense. The boy’s eyes flashed with fear, but then he rapidly composed himself and began to hysterically laugh, causing the students around them to remain silent.

The boy rolled his eyes, unamused. “Back off, Parker,” the boy snapped, violently pushing Peter away. A gasp left your lips as you watched Peter slightly stumble; Peter began to shake with rage, but before Peter did something he regretted, you leaped out of your seat, coming in between Peter and the boy.

“Peter,” you softly whispered, delicately placing your hands on his chest; you felt his heart rapidly beat in his chest. At that moment, all Peter wanted to do was punch the boy until he kept his mouth shut, but as he looked into your eyes, Peter noticed how you were silently pleading him to walk away. The fury in Peter’s eyes disappeared and was now replaced with guilt. His stance grew weaker and he unclenched his fists.

“Yeah that’s right Parker,” the boy loudly remarked, chuckling, “listen to your fucking whore.”

Within a second, Peter moved you to the side and collided his fists into the boy’s face, causing him to fall to the floor. The cafeteria was filled with gasps and screams as everyone watched blood trickle down the boy’s nose. Your eyes widened in shock as you stared at Peter, his chest heaving with rage, but before you could pull him away from the scene, the boy angrily stood up and ran to Peter, tackling him to the ground.

You glanced around with a look of desperation, hoping someone would step in but they all stood there, their phones pulled out from their pockets.

“Peter!” you shouted, about to run and pull the boy off of Peter, but then you felt a tight grip on your shoulder, pulling you backward. It was MJ, she was holding you back.

“MJ, let go of me!” you shouted in protest, but then her grip got tighter.

Your heart shattered as you watched in horror the boy landed a hard blow on Peter’s cheek and tears welled up in your eyes; this was your fault.

“That’s enough!” Mr. Gomez yelled, running towards the boy and pulling him off of Peter’s body; another teacher emerged from the crowd, grabbing Peter by the shoulder and slowly lifting him up. Blood oozed from Peter’s lip, and the side of his cheek was red, already starting to swell up.

“Everyone get to class, NOW!” Mr. Gomez didn’t have to repeat himself, the students dispersed in a blink of an eye. You felt MJ tug your hand, but you snatched your hand away; you weren’t going to leave Peter.

Mr. Gomez glared at the boy and then to Peter, “Principal’s office, now.” Peter gave you a sorrowful glance before stumbling to Mrs. Cho’s office with the other teaching following behind.

- - - - -

You laid on your bed, staring at the television screen but paying no attention to what was being said; it’s been two days since the fight occurred, and you felt so horrible about what happened. While the boy received a harsher punishment than Peter since he started the fight, Peter was still suspended for two days.

It’s all your fault, you thought to yourself.

The guilt that was tearing you apart was the sole reason you decided to stay home and not leave your bed; even though Tony was begging you to go back to school, he didn’t understand the humiliation you were going to endure if you stepped foot onto school property. Now, people were making up horrible rumors as to why Peter and the boy fought; some were saying they were fighting over you, others were saying it was because you were leading both boys on. The rumors continued to be spread and created, and it dawned on you that it was never going to stop. People ever always going to hate you, and there was nothing you could do.

Maybe they’re right, you whispered. Maybe I should just do everyone a favor and leave.

You turned up the volume of the television before bringing the blanket closer to your face. Although you were trying your best to ignore the pain, all of your bottled-up emotions began to slowly trickle out until eventually, you broke down. Your body began to shake as tears streamed down your face, but you tightly bit your lip, hoping you could silence your helpless cries.

From the other side of the door, Peter’s heart shattered as he listened to your gut-wrenching sobs, wishing he could take away your pain; he knew you were blaming yourself for what happened, and it was the reason why he came over to the compound. Peter was going to knock on your down, but then he felt his hands tremble in fear. He felt like such a horrible friend; he should’ve known something was wrong from the very beginning. What if you didn’t want to see him?

Peter closed his eyes, his head resting on the door as he pondered what to do. Even though you might not say it, he knew you needed him this very moment.

Once you heard a knock on the door, your muscles tensed up. You waited for a short moment, hoping the person behind the door would leave but then you heard a knock again.

“Please Y/n,” Peter pleaded, “Let me in.”

The guilt became stronger once you heard Peter’s voice, and your eyes began to water once again. “Leave me alone,” you weakly replied.

“I’m not leaving until you open the door,” Peter stated.

You bit your lip, knowing Peter was telling the truth. With hesitation, you stood up and slowly opened the door. Peter felt relieved as he saw the door open, but as he stepped inside, he noticed you had retreated to your bed, pulling the covers over your body. He felt an ache in his chest but then he slowly moved to the corner of your bed, maintaining a well enough distance. The bed dipped due to his weight, but neither of you uttered a word. But, the silence didn’t bother you at all; in fact, you felt at peace, knowing that Peter was right beside you. That relief was immediately gone as you recalled the incident between Peter and the boy; you told Peter to ignore his words, but he didn’t.

"Why did you hit him?” you bitterly asked underneath the covers, getting Peter’s attention at your sudden comment. You didn’t mean to have a rude tone, but it just came out.

“What?” Peter responded, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“You heard what I said,” you spat. “Why did you fucking do that?”

“Because he was saying inappropriate things to you?” Peter said in disbelief, a bit irritated. Were you mad at him for defending you?

You angrily tossed the blanket off your body, sitting up and glaring at Peter. “You should’ve walked away - but no, you couldn’t even do that.”

Peter narrowed his eyes at you, “are you serious right now?!” he furiously replied. “I was trying to defend you!”

“I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR HELP!” you screamed in response, now standing up with rage. You watched Peter’s face fall, and you wanted to take back what you said, but you were so angry you couldn’t remain quiet any longer. You closed your eyes, rubbing your head. “I had it under control until you got all defensive. God, Peter, stop trying to act like the hero in every situation.”

Peter stood up as well, mad but more hurt by your words. “What the hell, Y/n?! Why are you so mad at me?”

"Because-” you shouted, but then you began to fumble your words. Why were you so angry? “B-because I’m not weak! I can take care of myself, so stop acting like I’m some vulnerable, little girl that needs saving because newsflash, Peter, I’M NOT!”

Peter let out an exasperated laugh, unable to believe what you were saying. “Well maybe if you FUCKING confided in me, I would believe that you can handle yourself, but you always push me away so how am I supposed to know!?”

You scoffed at his remark. “I don’t!” you responded, your hands shaking with rage.

“Oh really?” Peter barked, “then tell me the truth, right now.” You paused, biting your tongue in the process. Silence filled the room. “I know you’re hiding something from me, and I know you don’t want me to find out,” Peter said.

You crossed your arms over your chest, breaking eye-contact with Peter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Peter let out a frustrated groan, pulling his hair in the process. “You’re such a fucking LIAR! Oh my god! You don’t think I’ve noticed?!” Peter yelled in agony, causing your eyes to widen. You’ve never seen him this angry before.

“Ever since the morning of the locker incident, you’re not the same anymore! Y-you don’t smile as brightly as you do anymore, your eyes don’t shine the way they used to, y-you don’t talk as much. I’m just trying to figure out why, Y/n!” Peter’s vision began to blur with tears as his frustrations began pouring out. He angrily wiped his eyes, hoping you would say something in response but as his eyes went back to you, you remained still and silent. Instead, you plopped yourself on the bed, staring at the floor in shame. Peter dropped his head down, ashamed by the way he reacted, but he also knew you were feeling the same guilt he did. You felt Peter sit beside you, but you didn’t push him away. All of your anger ran out; now, you just feel numb.

You picked at the skin around your nails, unable to look into Peter’s eyes. “I-I didn’t want to tell you because... b-because the truth is, I’m so embarrassed.” Your voice cracked.

Peter’s frowned as he heard your fragile voice, but he knew you were having a difficult time saying this out loud. He moved closer until you were centimeters apart. “Of what?”

Your leg anxiously shook as you mentally debated whether or not you should confess to Peter what’s been happening, but you felt his warm hand on yours. A soft smile formed on your face and you let out a sigh, ready to say the truth.

“The locker incident wasn’t the only time I’ve been bullied or harassed,” you stated, biting the inside of your cheek. Peter’s eyes widened but he remained quiet. “I’ve also been receiving hateful text messages since last month...”

Peter tightly squeezed your hand as he watched your eyes water once again. “Oh Y/n...” Peter whispered, his heart collapsing in the process, “why didn’t you tell me?”

You raised your head, wiping your eyes with your sleeve. “I don’t want to bother you with my problems. You have more important things to worry about, and... and I just didn’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not a bother to me, and you never will be,” Peter clearly emphasized.

“I’m sorry for not telling you what was really happening,” you confessed, turning your head to look at Peter. You attempted to smile but it easily crumbled, “and I’m also sorry for yelling at you. Thank you for defending me against that asshole.”

Peter let out a hearted laugh before nodding his head, “of course.”

You and Peter sat in silence for a long moment, completely comfortable even though neither of you spoke. Peter’s other hand instinctively went around your shoulder and he pulled you into his arms, resting his head on top of yours.

“I’ll always defend you, Y/n. Until the day I die,” Peter whispered into your hair, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

Your chin trembled as you repeated Peter’s words over and over in your mind, and you began to softly cry, but it wasn’t a cry of anger nor grief; it was a cry of relief; you’ve been holding this pain for so long, and you were so glad you finally told someone the truth. Peter squeezed his eyes shut as he tightly held your frail body, and after awhile, your breathing got steadier. You knew the hateful rumors weren’t going to stop anytime soon, but now you were certain that you didn’t have to deal with them alone.

Peter was there for you, and that’s all that mattered.

- - - - -

To those who’ve been bullied, I want you to know that you are loved and supported. Don’t listen to those who tell you otherwise. You are warriors, and you will never be alone ❤️

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

Note

a recreation of the jancy scene w murray (how he analyses the shit outta them)but with harringrove 😳

“Oh no, we can’t.”

Steve covered his glass with one hand, looking at Billy.

“Yeah, I’ve gotta drive.”

“Drive? What, tonight?” Murray was looking at them with a confused grin.

“Uh, our parents-” Steve didn’t want to say my parents won’t give a fuck because they’re in the Virgin Islands, but Billy’s dad hits him when he misses curfew.

“Would be proud if they knew what you were up to.” Murray cut Steve off. “Just tell ‘em you’re at Eric’s, or Bobby’s, or whoever’s, and take my guest room.” Billy looked at Steve.

“I mean, do you want to stay?”

“It is pretty late. Will that be, okay?” Billy just gave him a half smile, turning back to Murray.

“Could I use the sofa?”

“Okay, I’m confused. What’s going on here? Lover’s quarrel?” Billy’s eyes went stony as Steve stiffened in his seat.

“We’re not together. We’re not, like that.” Billy spat the words.

And Murray just fucking laughed.

“You’ve told me a lot of shockers today, but that, that is the first lie.”

“It’s not a lie.” Steve tried to laugh it off, meet the crazy bastard where he was. If he, if he had noticed the way he looks at Billy, the way he finds stupid ways to touch him, if he tells Billy, Steve is as good as fucking dead.

“Why not? You’re young, attractive. You’ve got, chemistry, history, plus the real shit. Shared trauma.” Billy crossed his arms, sitting back in the couch. Murray turned to him. “Trust issues. And extreme rage. Am I right? Something to do with your dad. I’m guessing, abuse? Physical, verbal, mental, whole nine yards. He pushed away your mother, the one person who is supposed to love you.”

“What? No. I mean, my dad’s-”

“An asshole.” Billy glared at Steve. He just shrugged. Murray hummed.

“It is a curse to see so clearly. You,” he turned to Steve. “You’re harder to read. Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for who you really are, and retreated back to the safety of-name! Name!” He snapped at Billy.

“Nancy.” Steve slapped his leg.

“Oh, Nancy. We like Nancy.” He put on this high voice, taunting Steve.

“Yes!” Steve said it like it was easy, made Billy grind his jaw. He fucking hated the Wheeler bitch. Hated that she had Steve, this beautiful, perfect person, and tossed him aside like fucking garbage.

“But we don’t love Nancy.”

“What? No. I, I mean, I-I do.” He stammered through the sentence, scrunching his eyes closed. Murray pointed at him.

“There it is, ladies and germs. The second lie of the evening. You’ve got something deep. Something that gives you a very low self image. Abandonment. Neglect, maybe. You take care of everyone in your life, because no one has ever taken care of you.” He took another sip of his drink. “Well, apart from a rotating cast of nannies and housekeepers. And here you are, clinging to Nancy for dear life because you think that’s easiest. Settle down with a boring old wife. At least then you’d never be alone.”

Steve choked on thin air. His face was red. His eyes were bright.

“So! How’d I do?” Billy was trying really fucking hard not to deck this asshole, right here, right now. Murray snorted. “My goodness. You two are adorable, aren’t you?”

He leaned forward, slamming his glass down and taking the rest of the vodka as he stood up.

“Listen, there’s a pull out sofa in my study if you want it.” He was behind them now, climbing the stairs. “But if I were you, I’d just cut the bullshit, and share the damn bed.” He left the room, leaving the two boys on the couch.

Steve was staring at the ground, pointedly not looking at Billy. Billy sighed.

“I’ll take the pull out. Goodnight, Princess.” He retreated to the study, just barely caught the little goodnight, Bill.

Billy swore when he finally figured out how to get the pull out to actually pull out.

He slammed it on the ground, ripping off his clothes.

He put on a pair of sweats, didn’t wanna bother with a shirt when he was so white hot, so fucking mad.

This guy had pretty much outed him to Steve.

They had always skirted around the issues with his dad, but Billy wasn’t stupid. He knew Steve knew.

And this guy had said all that shit, had told them to fuck.

And yeah, Billy wanted to. Of course he did, just look at Steve, but he was,

He was not going to admit to being scared, but he was.

Scared of rejection, scared of getting hurt. He thinks that getting hurt by Steve would probably just crush him.

He flopped around on the mattress for a moment.

“Trust issues? Trust issues?” He was getting antsy, getting like he did when he wanted a fight, wanted to bust his knuckles open and scream.

Usually talking to Steve helped.

Plus, he guesses he needs to clear the air, go up to Steve and no homo a couple thousand times.

Steve was sitting on the guest bed, his mind still reeling from what had happened.

“Afraid. I’m not afraid.” He slammed back into the bed, but he couldn’t get comfortable. Couldn’t get his brain to shut up.

Is that what everyone saw when they looked at him? Could everyone see how entirely fake he is? How he brings his empty heart home to an empty house each night? How he doesn’t want to mess things up with Billy, because then he’ll leave, just like everyone else does?

He sat up sharply.

“Retreat? I don’t retreat.” He steeled his back, going to find Billy to talk, to set the record straight.

He opened the door softly, finding Billy already coming towards him in nothing but ratty sweat pants.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Billy wasn’t really looking at him, sort of looking past him.

“I just, um. I just wanted to say that-”

“No, don’t. He’s so drunk.” Steve dug his nails into the out Billy just offered.

“Wasted.”

“I mean, he knows us for a couple of hours, and he’s got us all figured out?” Steve forced a laugh.

“Exactly. God, okay, yeah. I feel-I’m glad you feel the same way.” Billy shrugged, his shoulders staying stiff around his ears. He crossed his arms over his chest, made his biceps bulge. Steve pointedly didn’t look at them.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine.” Billy’s words were clipped.

They stood for a moment, awkwardly staring at one another in the sitting room. Steve had never been good with uncomfortable situations.

“Uh, so goodnight, I guess.” Billy stared walking back towards the study.

“Yeah. Um, ‘night.” Steve watched as he practically bolted back into the study.

Billy tried to settle back onto the lumpy pull out.

Steve had looked so lost, so nervous, the way he always did when his mind was racing out of his control.

But he also looked beautiful, in his faded t-shirt and old, short, basketball shorts.

And Billy couldn’t resist.

What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?

He was staring at the double doors, marching closer and closer.

He was there, was about to knock, and then,

One opened.

And Steve was in his space, hair messy like he’d been tuggin’ on it, eyes wide.

And Billy didn’t think, just pushed him against the other door and kissed him.

Steve pulled off, his big eyes wild as he studied Billy’s face.

Billy felt his heart sink.

And then Steve was there, was kissing the daylights outta him.

And so Billy continued not to think.

He pushed Steve into the room, closing the door behind him as he shoved him onto the bed.

They were sitting across from one another the next morning, trying not to make direct eye contact.

Murray made a big show of sitting down at the table, taking both of them in.

He made note of the dark hickies on Steve’s neck he was trying to hide in his hoodie, and what looked like a scratch mark on the back of Billy’s shoulder, visible in the cut up tank top he had thrown on.

He decided to strike.

“So. Billy. How was the pull out?” Billy choked on his juice. Steve dropped his fork.

Surely he couldn’t, couldn’t be asking about that. About how Billy had said wanna cum on your face and did just that.

“Uh, sorry?”

“The sofa.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah it was, it was good.” Murray smirked at him.

“I bet.” He went to take a bite, the egg flopping off his fork and landing with a plap! on the floor. “Oops.” He laughed at Billy, trying to look nonchalant.

Good for them.

#I HAD to include when he dropped the egg #that part is SO fucking funny #and the way they're both trying not to laugh #and yes #i did watch these scenes and copy them almost verbatim #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble #minor lemons #yikes writes

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theodora3022 · 4 years

Text

Freaking Me Out

Pairing: Neito Monoma x F!reader (I’m not really good at this kind of stuff…)

Summary: What scares Neito Monoma more than death, is his irrational attraction to you. He was able to hide it behind his petty insults often, until one day he saw you injured, something in the blonde snapped.

Notes: Reader is a student in 1A. If you do not like it, the exit button is there for you. Otherwise, enjoy! I honeslty don’t like how this turns out, but there you have it.

Warning: Verbal abuse (It is Monoma come on, what’s the surprise), superiority complex (obviously), fluff?Insults?

“Now I hear sounds in the hallway,

rocking chairs are moving on their own,

I’m falling for you, so much so

It’s freaking me out.”

You’re a student of class 1A, that is a good enough reason for Neito to pick on you. Even though you have always been polite and friendly. His distain is towards 1A in general, you just got caught up in the wave.

He might still act like a bully towards you, but that doesn’t mean he hates you, in fact, he found you quite charming, it almost made him want to stop with his verbal abuses. Almost.

Ironic enough, Neito has a soft spot for sociable people. Most people would be appalled with his rude attitude, which is what he expected. But he never got any reaction out of you with the usual insults. You brush them off as if they were nothing and kept that friendly façade, keep treating him with kindness. You are too nice, abnormally so.

Neito is curious, what could make you lose your composure? You are always so calm and collected, it’s honestly irritating. How can he rip off that smiling mask off your face and see who you really are? Class 1A is full of idiots, so why are you any different. The way you act all welcoming, it’s all fake right? Inside, you must be just like those egotistic maniacs you called friends. Nothing had drawn the blonde’s attention this much in a long time, so when he caught a glimpse of your backside, walking towards the library, Neito followed.

You had a terrible day, you got a bad mark on a recent test, accidently slipped on a banana skin, and landed sideways. It’s only a minor injury, so you didn’t bother to visit the Nurse’s office.(They must have more pressing injuries to deal with then a small cut) Now you got a bandage on the left side of your chin. So, you decide to treat yourself some quality time to relax in the library, surely nothing worse can happen in that calming atmosphere?

Oh, how naïve you are.

Coincidentally, it happened to be a bad day for Neito too. What’s his favorite pastime these days? Read Franco-Belgian comics Make fun of someone he doesn’t like. You’re just sitting there, concentrated on a history book, as if inviting his insults. The library is nearly empty, and the table you’re sitting at is behind some shelves, far away from the Liberian’s prying eyes. Perfect.

Inviting himself to your table, Neito sits down across you with that arrogant smirk on his face. Then he starts to examine you. Oh, how adorable you look, so focused. Suddenly the book makes him feel jealous, how pathetic of him. He really got it bad. He wonders what you’re going to look like all angry, finally letting out your true self.

“What you’re reading there, (y/n)?”

You are now scowling; obviously not too happy he had interrupted your reading. “Good afternoon to you too, Monoma. Has anyone told you it’s rude to interrupt?” You were hoping to ignore him, that he would leave on his own. Well, that’s evidently not happening.

She seems annoyed. Never seen that before, interesting. Then Neito notices the small bandage on the side of your chin. It’s clearly not properly treated, as he can see blood leaking from its edges.

“You’re hurt?” That smirk is gone…Is that concerns you see on his face? You never imagined someone like him is capable of such compassion. “Oh this? I tripped and I cut it. No big deal though.” Avoiding his caring gaze, you’re starting to feel uncomfortable. He is acting so…nice? Who is he and what has he done with the real Neito Monoma?

No big deal? If it is not cleansed and closed properly, it could very well leave a scar on your flawless face! Monoma doesn’t know why this bothers him this much, what he does know is you need to get proper medical attention immediately. “None sense. Come, that’s get you to recovery girl.”

“I’m fine, really. Hey, let go of me, Monoma!” He took your left hand into his without permission? What the hell? The next thing you know he is dragging you out of the library.

“If you don’t want to cause a spectacle in the hallways, better stop being a brat and shut your trap.” Ah, there it is. The normal insults of Neito Monoma. You silenced yourself, nevertheless. Thankfully, it’s afterschool, so no one is in the hallways. You can just picture how rumors were going to spread if someone sees you and Monoma “holding hands” like this.

The Recovery girl is busy with someone’s training injury. Much to your surprise, after taking some antibiotics ointment and a couple of cotton swabs, he decides to tend to your wound himself.

Slim fingers carefully peeling the bandage off, the blonde’s brows knotted when you let out a hiss of pain. “It might hurt now, but it’s going to scar if you just leave it like this.” He is so focus on cleansing your cut that he missed your shock. After making sure the wound is hygienic, Neito starts applying the ointment with such attentiveness, making sure no corners are missed. His eyes are filled with worries, instead of the usual condescending attitude. It all looks too good to be real, so you stay quiet.

Neito used to be quite clumsy as a child, so he learned how to tend to minor wounds such as yours. Fortunately, your cut is not deep or long, with the correct care it would heal in no time.

It was not until he finishes up, after putting a new bandage over your treated wound, that Neito realizes what he has done. Not only he had literally dragged you here, but also tended your wound himself! If he does not know better, he would say he genuinely care for you. Biting his lower lip, the Blonde’s head start to spin, to think how he can excuse himself out of this awkward situation.

“Neito?” You are calling him by his first name now? That is new. Not that he hates it.

Then you just look at him with those innocent eyes, those beautiful eyes. And those lips, they look so tasty, he would not mind a tast-

Wait, where did all those obscene thoughts come from?

You two are standing in an empty hallway beside the nurse’s office, staring at each other in silence. “Thank you for that, Neito. I really appreciate your help. I wouldn’t want to have a scar.” Is that all you have to say? Normally that would be enough, but for Monoma?

“You got two options, (y/n). One, just walk away, pretend this never happened and carry on with your normal life.” He paces towards you, you realized how he had backed you into a corner. He is close, too close-you can feel his breaths gently brushes your cheeks. Up close, you noticed he is actually quite handsome, with that well-trimmed blonde hair and those crystal blue eyes. If he were not such a jerk, he would have been quite a charmer. Wait…is he trembling?

“What’s the other option?” You asked that out of pure curiosity. Childish, you know, but you cannot help but be amused at the blonde’s shacking form. It is not everyday you get to see so terrified and flustered, a major blush across those usually pale cheeks. A rare but delightful sight.

Don’t you get those hints? Your innocence, while cute, is driving Neito crazy. He is so done with playing subtle. Let his knuckles brush against the uninjured side of your face, touches so soft that can be mistaken as lover’s.

“Or” He whispers near your ear, almost towering over you; “You can show me how thankful you are for my care. I been thinking about kissing you for a while, you know.” He is buffing. Neito is screaming in his head, praying that you reciprocate his feelings. It is the least you can do after making him swoon over you for so long.

How dare you! How dare you making him feel attached? Like you are the only thing he wants in this world? Who gives you the right to make him obsess over you?

Neito is scared, terrified, even. This had never happened before. Due to his handsome appearance, there had been girls interested him before, but they all backed away once they learned about his personality.

You were too astounded to move. Neito Monoma, the infamous rude prick from Class 1B, has feelings for you? Someone pinch you on the arm, to make sure this was not just some lewd dream. “What, so shocked that you can’t even speak?” Forcing your chin up with his thumb and index fingers (but still careful not to touch your wound), his face begins to lean close. You shut your eyes, half-hoping for it to happen.

But you only felt a quick peck on your cheek. Of course he would not steal your first kiss here. Neito would want to make it a moment he could treasure forever, after a date. Not in this little dark hallway.

“You, me, tomorrow at noon, in front of the gate.” Then he left without saying a word, almost stumbling. Only his faint cologne still lingering around you, reminding this is all real.

#bnha x reader #bnha #bnha neito monoma #neito monoma #neito x reader #neito monoma x reader #bnha self insert

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