#it’s big on Facebook but the middle aged fans on there don’t really have the time or energy to debate people they just think he’s sexy

[casualheizouenjoyers]

☆.｡.:* 16. counter all your quick remarks ✍︎

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☆.｡.:*   cruel summer

☆.｡.:*  synopsis: you are a small streamer centered on cozy gaming and your ongoing series of ranking every taylor swift song in a tier list. scaramouche is a competitive speed runner in a streamer group called “the harbingers” that has an insanely large fan base. your paths only cross once he subtweets about your content and your favorite artist, causing a petty online argument that might lead to something else.

ㅤ ╰ཱི ࣭ ࣪ ❁𝆬  ࣭  ྏ ࣭  ͘ ｡ ࣪ ✐ yntaylorsversion is interning!  ̣ ࣪ ྌ  

Your first day of your internship consisted of a woman with short purple hair monotonously showing you around the building, a quick but fairly knowledgeable tour about the place and a quick rundown of what you’d be doing. It was hard not to look at the place with some rose-colored glasses as you had dreamed of working at Yae’s Publishing house for a while now…. but in all honesty, it was just another big business similar to something of a workplace drama set.

The main thing that got you the internship with no prior experience in the publishing field was your streaming following. Deciding to use that for the best, you applied to be a social media intern and just like that, you were accepted. So, summer internship was in the bag! You wished to be editing and maybe writing books instead of planning posting schedules and submitting ideas for videos, could you really complain? It was all a part of putting your foot in the door!

Your mind wandered ever so slightly as your tour guide —her name tag reads the name “Sho”— continued on about something you were really only half paying attention to.

She was a fairly pretty woman, though, your focus on her face was probably due to the fact that she looked just like Scaramouche. In fact, the two could probably be twins with the way they resembled each other. Though, her eyes didn’t crinkle the same way Scara’s did when he smiled… but that was a comparison you felt a little embarrassed to realize. So what if you had been a little nervous the night before and watched his newest face cam stream? It didn’t mean anything…. did it?

“—Understood?” Sho said as you tuned back into her words.

“I apologize, but could you repeat that?” You said with a sheepish smile, feeling embarrassed for spacing out during your first day.

She sighed, but repeated her words nonetheless. “This is your desk space—” She gestures towards a small but usable desk. “— and these are the passwords for our social media accounts,” Sho handed you a sheet of paper.

“Ah, thank you!” You placed your laptop bag down on the desk, taking the paper from her hands and taking a quick look at it.

“If you need anything else, I will be in my office over there,” She said, waiting for you to ask any questions.

“Alright, thank you again,” You said as she walked away without another word. Opening up your laptop, you made a quick spreadsheet. Making a posting schedule was actually nothing to you as it was something you made monthly for yourself.

If you’re being honest, the company probably did need someone new running the social media accounts. Whatever they were doing was fine…. though it did reduce their audience to middle aged moms on facebook.

You’re about halfway through the schedule when a hand quickly closes your laptop shut. Your head shot up to take a look at who would have the audacity to just randomly do that.

Your eyes locked with lilac eyes…. the same one you were studying just that night. “I— Scara?” You said.

Scaramouche laughed, probably at the confusion on your face.

“Why the hell did you— What are you even—”

“Kunikuzushi,” The voice of Sho, your kind of boss, cuts through your words. “Don’t torment my interns,”

“I wouldn’t call it tormenting,” He replied with a grin. “We know each other,” Which wasn’t technically wrong. You did know each other, just from bickering online for thousands of peoples enjoyment.

“Still, I’d rather you not bother them while they work,” She huffed, and you realize your suspicions of the two being related must not be far from off.

“Oh, come on, Sho,” Scaramouche crossed his arms.

You feel awfully awkward witnessing the woman you’re interning over and your online friend of a few months conversing like this.

“Don’t you have a meeting with Yae Miko?” Sho asked, making her way towards your desk.

“When’s their lunch break?” He asked, pointing towards you.

“You didn’t answer my question,” She stated.

“And you didn’t answer mine,”

Sho groaned.

“Anyways, I’m stealing your intern for lunch,” Scaramouche grabbed your hand, pulling you up out of your seat.

“What about Miko?” She said with a light glare.

“I’m sure she can wait,” He rolled his eyes, giving a little wave towards Sho.

“So, are we not going to talk about whatever that was?” You said, your arms crossed as you sat in a restaurant a few blocks away from your internship.

“No?” Scaramouche said as he ordered some random appetizer off the menu.

“No? Nahh, you don’t get to do that,�� You scoffed. “You’ve dragged me away from my work, so I’d like an explanation,”

“I was supposed to meet with my stepmom,” Scaramouche said.

“Right,” You said, as if whatever he said explained anything. “Mommy issues?”

“Fuck off,” He groaned.

“You’re the one who dragged me to lunch,” You laughed.

“I regret it, should’ve taken a different intern,” He said, placing an elbow on the table.

“And miss the chance to talk to your favorite twitch streamer yntaylorsversion?” You teased, taking a look at the menu and deciding on a meal.

“I don’t like streamers with bad taste in music,” He replied, cupping his own face in his hand.

“I'm going to get a headache by the end of this, aren't I?" You said, but can't help but smile anyway.

Weird meetings aside, Scaramouche was actually really nice to talk to....

authors note: if it isnt obvious sho is the shogun puppet. but like omg they met irl only after uhhh 16 and a half chapters ! if links arent working for u like they aint working for me. all my chapters r tagged under "cruel summer : chapters" !! love game is tagged similarly tbh

☆.｡.:*  taglist: @raideneiari @starryeyedkoko @lightlyfeatheredquailqin @thenightsflower @isa-solasun @lilactaro @imdeadlyboredhelp @arizzu @turningfrogsgay @icedmocha1 @feverish-dove @xiaosonlybeloved @sukunasrealgf @eutopiastar @shinunoga-iie-wa @phoenix-eclipse @crueldinasty @sashiette @hotgirlshit5 @certaindreampost @atlaincorrect @aludicpoet @justawalkingdisaster @m3gitsune @mechanicalbeat1 @distinguished-simp @mayacheiko @r4yyyyy @kkazuyass @angelunatic @kunikuzushisbeloved @bubblegum-angelquartz @fangygf @yuyudoesdrugs @kitsuvil @xiaossocksniffer @scarletttcroww @fanficaddictedmushroom @crucnhice @exhaustedcommunist @sleepysoda21 @bubbabobabubbles @kaoyamamegami

#piers writes #cruel summer : chapters #scaramouche smau #genshin smau #genshin impact smau #scaramouche x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

[misfitprose]

Bluebird of Unhappiness

I’ve briefly blogged* about this before (more about that later), but while I’m sick and I’m told it’s too hot to go out, I figured I should organize my thoughts into something that will hopefully help me make up my mind.

After a few false alarms, it really does seem like Twitter will soon be a thing of the past, without even the mocking affection that MySpace is usually remembered with. It’s not even because tastes have changed, either; mismanagement is running everyone off. Imagine opening a public library, yet keeping one section closed to everyone but a select few who give you huge “donations” – then putting all the bestsellers and research materials in there. Oh, and “friends of the library” will be allowed in after hours – everyone else must leave by 3pm. You can only borrow four books, and if one is really big, it will count as two...unless you’re willing to pay, of course. Paupers don’t deserve literature, you see!

Yeah.

But the thing that I liked about Twitter is that you only shared as much as you wanted to. I have a handle I made up myself, no personal pictures, and I didn’t even put my general location. I’m not obligated to follow anyone, and you don’t know if I have ties to anyone else on Twitter (unless we tell you). Sometimes, I just want to brief casual acquaintances on what’s happening with me without going into detail they might not want.

The best thing about Twitter, in my humble opinion, is that celebrities are accessible and on equal footing with the rest of us schmucks. These aren’t Facebook pages run by fan club presidents or randos – this is Legit Famous Guy on his personal phone. Have you ever written a letter to a celebrity (throwing it WAAAY back here!), and received a form letter reply in return? How do you even know if this person even reads their own mail? It’s like screaming into the void at the cost of your own saliva on the stamp. (Yes, we did that back in the day!) People share all kinds of things now, and in real time no less. It’s easier than ever to embarrass yourself by Tweeting “Hi, So-and-So! I had a crush on you for years” #cringe

Facebook...or as most people call it these days, Minions Memes That Your Middle-Aged Relatives Post Twenty Times a Day. I don’t know about you, but my entire extended family is on there and they probably don’t want to know exactly what I’m looking at when I’m avoiding them. It’s too personal. You have to go by your full name – and I have a fairly unique combination of names – and from there, it’s a small step to locating you IRL by looking at your friends list, college, or workplace. The last thing I need is one of those “Orym has bloodlust” Critters tracking me down. There are pictures of my niece and nephews on there. They shouldn’t be held accountable for my rants. I like keeping my real life and my online personas separate, thank you very much.

Just when I finally screw up the courage to go join Instagram, it seems like most of the cast is migrating to Bluesky. I joined the waiting list, but it’s so long that by the time I can join that, too, I will probably be eligible for retirement. I did join Mastodon, but the only way these unofficial watch parties are going to work is if a good number of us are on there. Most of us were already on Twitter, so it worked.

*Does anyone even have a traditional blog anymore? I set mine up years ago, and I enjoyed rambling on and on there (when I remembered to use it). On Twitter, you’d have to daisy chain a series of Tweets on there, risking alienating followers who don’t have time – or limits these days – to read them all. Tumblr, now that I’m here, seems hugely popular with more of the kinds of people I’m better suited to. There doesn’t seem to be as much customization that I’ve noticed, but I look like less of an old woman yelling at clouds when I say “my Tumblr” as opposed to “my blog”.

The future of connecting? Well, since we aren’t about to give people all over the world our private numbers so we can text them, I guess we’ll just have to latch onto whatever becomes available to the bulk of us.

Or we could go back to writing letters. Anyone got a stamp?

#yes I know Big Bird is a canary #have you seen the movie? #twitter #tumblr #instagram #I really miss AIM suddenly #and message board forums

[purplesurveys]

1529

How old were you when you met your first love? I was 13 when we were first introduced, although I knew the person way before that - since kinder, to be exact.

Are you taking this survey in a place other than your home? Nope, I’m home this time. I’m currently in my room. Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? We don’t have ice cream trucks here; they come either in tricycles (if it’s branded ice cream) or in these colorful pushcarts (if it’s dirty ice cream). I will hear an ice cream jingle go around the neighborhood every once in a while, but I never buy because I’m not a big fan of ice cream anyway What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? It has to be that incident with my grandpa and my cousin who was still a baby at the time, when the former got super intoxicated. I don’t want to narrate it all over again ever again, but things escalated very fast. Fortunately I was the sole witness so I was able to call on my relatives to run over; unfortunately I was the sole witness and I feel sorry towards my 9 year old self for having that miserable responsibility of making sure the situation didn’t worsen.

Yes, I think it will forever stay with me. I love my grandpa, who’s now passed on, but my feelings will always be conflicted one way or another; and I visit that cousin every weekend, so every time I see him I will be lying if I said I don’t get taken back to that incident.

Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? It was my brother and the above ^ cousin. Both graduated this year.

Have you ever been to Disneyland? Nopes.

Your last ex finds out you’ve fallen in love with another person? I haven’t, and I can’t give a hoot what she would think if I did. That ship has sailed a really long time ago and we lead our own lives now.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Coffee that I actually made last night, lmao. But I fell asleep too early with the mug barely consumed, so I’m drinking out of it now instead. What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? It wouldn’t be possible.

Has the last person you kissed met your family? My entire immediate family and some extended family, yes.

Why are you doing this survey? It’s been bookmarked in my likes for a time and I wanted to take it. Don’t you hate it when your cell phone dies in the middle of a convo? It gets bothersome but the irritation is more towards myself than the phone since it’s my fault that I waited long enough for the phone to die anyway.

When people fill out your surveys, do you read their answers? I don’t make my own surveys, but yeah most of the ones I take these days are lifted from what others have taken so I take the time to read the answers.

Have you ever had to cancel a bank account? Nope, but I think one of my bank accounts has been automatically cancelled since I had emptied it out at one point and stopped using it after. I have no way of knowing if it’s been cancelled, though, because I’ve forgotten my password LOL

Was the last conversation you had an argument? Nope, I was just mentioning some of my work to my sister.

If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? No. I don’t feel nowhere near ready to be married at 24.

Would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? Yeah, I don’t think being naked is a big deal lmao especially when there’s that amount of money involved.

Would you date someone three years older than you? I’ve no clue if I would; I don’t really know what my preferences are, honestly. My only experience is with someone who’s the same age. But  if we vibe well and I’m really into this hypothetical older person, I don’t see the issue in dating them.

When was the last time you had Starbucks? Last week.

Who was the last friend you added on Facebook? A high school classmate who must’ve made a second account, because I remember already being Facebook friends with them in the past.

Are you in love? Nope.

Where was the last place you got completely wasted? My birthday weekend with Hans, Angela, and Reena at Zambales. Not only did I end up really drunk, I also sprained my ankle and had to be nursed by the same people we ended up having a good time with the night before (who, very fortunately, happened to be members of a rowing team and had a first aid kit ready).

How long was your longest make out? Idk man. And I’d rather not look back.

What if you were pregnant and the last person you kissed was the father? I kissed a girl last.

Do you want to dance? Erm not right now, no.

How has the week been? Great! Work was on the lighter side - still busy, of course, but manageable - and I get to enjoy a day off today because my workplace declared a company-wide mental health break day. I’m seeing a friend for dinner later on so couldn’t be more excited for this long weekend.

Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? No and does that even work tf?

In your opinion, which hurts more physical or emotional pain? Both hurt the same, just manifested differently. I’ve never found it fair to compare.

When did summer break start for you? I’ve stopped looking forward to summer breaks/vacations since ending school two years ago.

What else are you doing right now? I’m listening to music and occasionally patting Cooper and taking a sip from my coffee.

When was the last time you drank alcohol? What was it? Two Thursdays ago when I was in the afterparty for one of our events.

Speaking of toast, what do you eat on yours? Continued from the previous morning. Not a big eater of toast; I only ever have it at breakfast buffets in hotels as far as I know lol. In any case, just butter is fine. I find more satisfaction in the burntness(?) of the toast rather than the toppings.

Do you own an iPod/mp3 player? What kind? I used to use an iPod Nano, the 4th gen one. I still have it in that I haven’t thrown it out, but I haven’t used it since high school.

Are you going to any concerts or festivals this summer? No. I wanted to go to the Seventeen concert in October, but I LARGELY underestimated how intense the ticket demand was going to be. I’ll let the bigger fans and those more deserving enjoy the show.

If not, are there any you really want to go to? I really want to go to Jessi’s concert next month but I don’t think I’d be able to give myself a good time (and act as good enough a fan) because I only know like 3 or 4 songs of hers. It’s the same sitch as Seventeen where I’d be happy letting the bigger and more deserving fans attend.

When’s your birthday? April 21st.

When was the last time you got drunk/high? What happened? I drank last night but I did it so slowly I don’t think I ever got even tipsy at any point hahaha. That being said, the last time I felt a legit Buzz was sometime in May I think was it? Early June? when my workmates and I went to this speakeasy.

#survey #surveys

[suckitsurveys]

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? I like the foaming soaps best.

What’s the speed limit on your street? I’m not sure, there aren’t signs posted and I don’t know the laws regarding side streets like that. I THINK the limit is 30mph unless otherwise posted, but I can’t find something that confirms that for small side streets.

When was the last time you wore your favourite article of clothing? I am wearing one of them right now. It’s a black Fleetwood Mac hoodie with the Rumors album cover on it.

Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday? The next one is my sister’s in July.

On a scale of 1-5, 5 being the best, rate your last kiss. Always a 5 :) .

What is your favourite flavour of Jolly Ranchers? Watermelon.

Where was your Facebook profile picture taken? Starved Rock Stater Park.

Do your parents smoke? My mother did.

Would you rather bake cookies or a potato? Definitely depends on my mood.

Who was the last person to stay the night at your house? My niece.

Do you live close to a park? Yes, there’s one right around the corner.

Is your favourite animal endangered? One of them is.

Have you eaten pizza in the last week? I have. There was pizza for lunch/dinner yesterday at the event I worked.

Who was the last person you added to your contacts list? One of the people I worked with at the event I just mentioned.

How long does it take you to shower? like 10-20 minutes depending.

Do you prefer a brand of bottled water over others, or is it all the same? I don’t really care, but I tend to favor Smart Water thanks to a certain spokesperson lol.

Have you used Wikipedia today? I tried to find out one of the new SNL cast members’ birthday and the first search result was a snippet from their Wiki page, if that counts.

Are you better at writing fiction or non-fiction? Neither.

Do you know anyone who has moved to a different state? Yes, a handful of people I went to high school with have moved to different states, as well as a couple cousins.

How many pens can you see from where you’re sitting? A bunch. I have a pen/pencil cup on my desk that I like to keep well stocked lol.

Have you ever dated someone one grade/year above or below you? I never really dated anyone in school.

What language do you think you’d be good at? I don’t know. What language do you think you’d fail at? I don’t know.

Do you still have a landline phone at your house? Nope.

What is your current desktop background? Here at work it’s a fan art drawing of the mountains of “Hollywoo” from BoJack, including the sign and.BoJack’s house.

How big is the television you last watched? It’s 55in.

Have you ever been stung by a bee or a wasp? Nah.

How many schools have you been to in your lifetime? Preschool, K-8th, high school. two colleges.

What is the middle name of the last person you texted? Allen.

Are you of legal age in your country? Yes.

Why did you last visit a doctor? New glasses.

Would you prefer an ice cream cake or a regular cake? Both are good.

How old is your best friend? 29, 34, 35, 39.

What is/was your high school’s mascot? Wildcats.

Do you carry pain relievers with you at all times? No. But I have a “travel” backpack that has essentials in it that I take if I am going to be gone somewhere all day, and that includes pain relievers.

Where is your mother right now? Dead.

What was the last thing to make you smile? Something my coworkers were talking about.

Are you currently saving up for anything? A new mattress. And spending money for when Ellen and Sarah are here.

What’s the view like from your bedroom window? We are in the basement and our bedroom window is level with the driveway.

Generally speaking, do you prefer sweet or savoury? They have different connotations for me. Like “savory” is a whole meal and “sweet” is just a dessert or treat, so they are different and I can’t really choose one over the other?

What would you do if you got home and you saw your house had been destroyed? Blah.

When did you last go outside, and what for? Earlier this morning when I came to work.

Who is your favourite Sesame Street character? Cookie Monster. Though the recent Elmo memes made me a fan.

How often do you check your emails? My job consists of me answering emails all day. And I only check my personal email if I am expecting something lol.

Do you have any plans for this Thanksgiving? Probably eat?

What colour is your backpack? I have a mini pink iridescent one I use daily.

Would you slap the last person you talked to for twenty dollars? No.

What search engine do you usually use? Google.

How much did the shirt you’re wearing cost? I’m not sure, I bought it a long time ago.

Patrick Stump or Pete Wentz? I’m good.

Do you know anyone who gives way too many hugs? A little bit, yeah.

What time do you usually wake up on Sundays? Depends.

Have you whispered today? Probably. I’m always whispering shit to myself lol.

What grade did you get on the last test you took? I have no idea.

#surveys

[deathishauntedbyhumans]

i loved the hunger games novels as a kid.

as a middle schooler, those books felt so important. the revolution at hand, the boy and girl in love against all odds, against everything the world was throwing at them. the world-building spoke to me in a way that all of the books that felt important to me at that time did: it made me FEEL something. i loved it.

i was a dutiful fan. i was a part of facebook pages dedicated to the hunger games books, and then to the movies as they started to come out. i spoke to other fans thru those pages. i made friends in the fandom. i started writing fanfic before i really even know what fanfic was. i loved being a part of that space.

and then the third movie came out.

the hunger games, if you’ll remember, was split into four movies: the first two books had their own movies, and then the last book had two, a la harry potter. (bc every franchise desperately wanted, at the time, to be harry potter.) i watched the first two movies with bated breath, and would chitter away in my little fan spaces after seeing the depictions of my favourite series on a big screen. but the third movie…

i saw mockingjay part one in theatres, and i sat thru it with a slowly building emotion that i didn’t have a name for at the time. i was sixteen then, and something abt the dystopia being shown to me struck a different chord than reading abt the horrors that had, perhaps, been beyond my twelve-thirteen year old comprehension.

when the movie ended, i walked calmly out of the theatre, locked myself in a stall in the bathroom, and proceeded to have one of the worst panic attacks i had ever had at that point in my life. i very nearly threw up. i couldn’t stop thinking abt katniss, and the fear she’d been dealing with the entire movie, and the way she’d hyperventilated her way thru the film like she was running for her goddamn life. (say what you will abt jennifer lawrence, but sixteen year old me FELT that.) it resonated in some very primal part of my brain that i didn’t know how to place at the time. i still don’t, not really. but…

there’s something to be said abt a piece of media that evokes such strong feelings in the young people it was made for. it has been said time and time again, but i’ll reiterate it anyway: hunger games was a VERY formative piece of media, not only me, but for an entire generation of young people. it was a story about hope in the face of adversity, but more than that… it was a story abt ADVERSITY. it was a story that said ‘bad things happen. bad things happen, and they’ll keep happening, and while life might go on… it’s going to hurt.’ it didn’t lie to its audience. suzanne collins looked at the world, looked at the terrible, fucked up state of the world in the early 2010s, and said ‘i know it’s going to get worse, and these kids deserve to know it, too.’ i respect her immensely for that. especially now, in this day and age where everyone is trying to sanitise the experience that children have with the world… it’s refreshing, even if it became too much for me personally at the time.

i never watched the last movie. mockingjay part two came out a year later, and my appetite for the hunger games was no longer whet. however, i did move on to interact with other complex pieces of media, things that evoke complex feelings and emotions in me that i can handle and process in a way that is healthy. maybe someday i’ll revisit it, when i can look at the world and see good instead of the current climate of terrible thing after terrible thing beating down on our generation, and the generations following us. maybe i won’t. doesn’t change the fact that i owe the hunger games something for being one of the first pieces of media i had to interact with critically, for being a force to help teach me how powerful a book series, or a movie, can be.

#i don’t rlly have a point to this post it’s just something i’m thinking abt #long post #the hunger games #thg #hunger games #suzanne collins #mockingjay #catching fire #wade talks #storytime #story time

[bonivers]

the astrology of social media

feeling the urge to talk about the astrology of social media so. here we go

i will be talking about what i consider The Big 5: facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram, and tiktok

facebook: launch date was feb 4, 2004, therefore making fb an aquarius sun, and if you want to debate launch time, it is either a cancer moon or leo moon. i lean towards believing it is a cancer moon, because it is heavily used towards communicating with family and old friends. also, considering that aquarius is ruled by saturn, and so is fb’s mercury in capricorn, it is considered a site that offers more networking opportunities for career. i also find it interesting that fb is considered a site for the older generations (saturn energy)

twitter: launch date was march 21, 2006, making twitter an aries sun with a sagittarius moon. twitter is known for it’s arguments and blunt honesty, which is easily from the fire energy of aries and sagittarius. people are not afraid to call people out on this social media in particular. twitter is also well known for being more about connecting with people foreign to you, which is sagittarius energy at work

tumblr: launch date was feb 19, 2007, making tumblr a pisces sun with either a pisces or aries moon. pisces sun makes everything feel more hidden, hence the amount of privacy that can exist here. pisces energy is also a big fan of escapism so fandom does really well here. the way people connect on here tends to be with strangers that they find things in common with, and the idea of mutuals is commonly romanticized, as are most things on tumblr (pisces loves romanticizing). i lean towards believing tumblr has an aries moon, because there is this tendency for people to take things very personally when it may have little to do with them

instagram: launch date was oct 6, 2010, making IG a libra sun with either a virgo or libra moon. libra is ruled by venus so there is definitely more of a concern for aesthetics on IG. it is also more superficial, arguments on IG tend to be more passive aggressive than anything else. libra energy also has a tendency to mirror things, such as incorporating videos after seeing vine do it, stories after seeing snapchat do it, and reels after seeing tiktok do it. i believe IG has a virgo moon, because of the need for things to appear perfect. people tend to interact there more with friends, acquaintances, or friendly strangers

tiktok: the release date of musically was sometime in september 2016, but i will be using the date of when they changed the name to TikTok since i feel like there is more significance to this date: august 2, 2018. this makes tiktok a leo sun with an aries moon. leo is ruled by the sun and often is popular and well known, as tiktok is currently and has been for the past 2 or 3 years. i believe that is why there is such a big rise of influencers on that app - it’s a good place to find an audience. i think the leo energy combined with aries energy is also why tiktok’s algorithm is so good at finding videos people will personally enjoy.

other interesting things i noticed:

the apps that are considered more popular for young people (im talking more about gen z and young millenials) to use are twitter and tiktok. these are respectively an aries sun and a leo sun, which are both considered more youthful energy since aries is the beginning of the zodiac and leo is also more towards the beginning.

instagram’s libra sun is more middle ground, it is used by various ages but i find it more popular with older gen z and millenials in general.

the websites that are considered old (or in tumblr’s case “dead”) are facebook and tumblr. both are at the very end of the zodiac as aquarius and pisces so this isn’t surprising. people on these websites tend to be a considered older as well, especially facebook.

the websites most well known for calling people out and being argumentative over practically anything all have aries/mars energy in some capacity: twitter’s aries sun and tumblr and tiktok’s aries moons.

twitter, tumblr, and tiktok also all have mercury in retrograde which could account for the amount of things taken out of context and the amount of misunderstandings that frequently occur.

snapchat is a cancer sun with a libra moon. cancer is more homebody energy and libra deals with friends and i have noticed people say that they mainly keep snapchat around to talk to old friends from high school. also the fact that snapchat is widely used for its memories section (very cancerian). snapchat is commonly used when you first meet someone and might want to be friends or to shamelessly flirt with someone (libra/venus energy)

ao3 is a scorpio sun with a scorpio moon. i feel like i don’t need to explain why this explains the way that people are secretive about ao3 and what they read on there. in contrast, wattpad is most likely a sagittarius sun, which is why it is more publically well-known and talked about (movies have been adapted from there after all)

#feel free to add on if u have any other observations! #astrology #astro notes #astrology tag #allana rants #long post #yes i absolutely spent time doing this instead of doing schoolwork <3

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MustangSally

MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since it’s an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. I’ve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (there’s an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.

I’m just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesn’t. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made.  I met some very remarkable women that I’ve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years.  We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but we’re friends.  It’s a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media.  I’m amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD I’ve been drunk with in Las Vegas.

Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security. Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs!  When I look at a new piece of software, I think, ‘this is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.’  We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of ’96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.

Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her.  I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each other’s nails and talk about bones.  Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was – if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better. What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

This question is really about Iolokus, isn’t it?  You can’t fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]

Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scully’s ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable.  Scully wasn’t nearly as angry as I was.  What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her.  Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didn’t meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple – everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible).  Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative.  I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that).  

Really, RivkaT?  A helicopter? What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy.  I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I haven’t watched the new episodes, either.  It is complete in my mind and doesn’t need to be continued.  I wouldn’t say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although we’re still chatting online like everyone does.   Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. I’m in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. I’ve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabs—it’s hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]

Every few years, I’ll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? No. Not really. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3. What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with “blood on the threshing floor” and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.

At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic.  Like critic Anne Jamison said, “Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”  And because fic has fallen so much into women’s sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragon’s teeth.

Okay, that’s a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If that’s not fiction, I don’t know what the fuck is.

All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, it’s a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.

Be subversive.

Be mean.

Have a great fucking time.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #mustangsally

[msgrumpygills]

Social Media Anon Here!

Firstly, never change Grumpy ;) you are probably the only person on Tumblr to LISTEN to another view and let it change a prejudice.

Secondly, the Padagram/Social Media change bus continues. Don't be fooled people will be looking at positive and negative reactions to that change on social media.

So here goes!

1. They are starting to market season 2 of Walker in Hiatus. That really doesn't happen. That means they know they need to target new viewers. They are acknowledging they have a problem. The main problem is Jared either didn't learn enough about production quality on SPN (Jensen/Misha were both more interested in behind the camera's) or that he thought he could stick a Stetson on and we all had such sh1t for brains we'd watch anything. So they need a viewer boost DESPARATELY and are going all out to (a) persuade Walkers remaining viewer(s) that it's worth sticking around and (b) get back old viewers or convert 1m+ viewers to season 2. So now we see all the cast (and Keegan has more followers than Jared and Lindsay has a VERY engaged following) trying to persuade their followers how fabulous Walker is. Expect this scrabbling to continue if they want their COVID paychecks.

2. Connected to 1, Jared has started trying to break out of the fandom bubble. I don't think he's trying for power couple (the clue in a power couple is that two FAMOUS people get together and create a super brand, here we have one niche C famous guy and a hanger on wife), I think we are in Jared profile raising and trying to raise his recognition score, which is probably a little low having half assed it in the last year and a half. He's doing it by scatter-gunning so I'm not sure it's going to stick.

3. Connected to 2,

(i) if I run my algorithm clean laptop with a "Jared Padalecki" news search, I get (a) a daily mail article on Jared "clarifying the rift" (b) a "hello" magazine saying he's been "inundated with support after death of "family member"" (c) the new york times article on Walker and Supernatural. It then goes into a variety of articles about Jared raising money for Holly's family (fucking atrocious in my view to use her death for publicity) and a series of derivative articles on his mantrum and later explanation. ONLY THE NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE MENTIONS WALKER other than as a throw away, all of the others link to Supernatural only. Walker isn't on the main radar of anyone as a show. It's not mainstream enough to mention. it has ZERO buzz.

(ii) if I run the same search on my compromised tablet, I get a SEA of fluff articles "jared padalecki goes to venice", "jared padalecki's wife wishes him a happy birthday" "jared padalecki goes to watch soccer" "jared padalecki goes to the wrestling". I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow.

At the end of that I get the same articles as in (i) but the majority of his publicity is still going through the fandom and the, not very viewed, endless zine type websites that update on every episode of every geek show every day.

So we are seeing, and I expect it to continue, a break out Padalecki, (who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films), and a fluff Padalecki, trying to stay relevant a year after SPN relevance ended, because he hasn't got the same push for season 2 of Walker as he had for season 1 and Walker has zero presence. No one, not even the fans are talking about Walker.

Will it work? I don't think so. Keegan has 7m followers on Insta and that's because he's a photographer and writer and it's interesting. I would follow his account (I don't), but certainly it isn't a Walker instagram.

Jared is a clever guy, but he's boring on social media. He has a limited appeal. He does family snaps, hunk snaps, flogs orange pee and flogs his show. He says "family" and "mantra" a lot but that's really it. The clue is, if you didn't know who he was and came across his instagram you wouldn't follow him. Why would you? For a video of a guy running up steps? A smug picture of two middle aged men trying to flog you something?... (oh and lots of "brother" comments on Keegan's social media, which is irritating. It's like he thinks that is his repeatable formula and it isn't).

His media approach won't work because advertising and exposure pushes a product. In TV's case, it's not a one off product and there is a lot of competition. Product Jared needs to be more interesting (his mantrum's are the only exciting thing about him - and that is tragic) and his TV show just needs to be BETTER, well, a LOT BETTER.

Soooo, expect the Padapush to continue, but it's not about a couple, it's about individual marketing and for Jared breaking out of SPN bubble. For Gen, it's her tag along profile that she'll never break out of. She'll have to be satisfied with her superpower of being able to persuade people to buy toothbrush's and dog food (if she can).

Expect though the couple's bit to die off a little. Jared is getting over exposed. His engagement rating is plummeting (nearly 3% is a plummet) because of the repetitive photo content. He'll have to back off or people will switch off (I have already). What makes me laugh is.... from the dawn of time when cavemen took their wives 2 miles away for a new cave weekend.... NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOLIDAY SNAPS.... Gen and Jared apparently need to learn that lesson...

I might stop these posts now because, well, it's gotta be a bit boring for you and I write LONG. :)

Stay safe and wear your masks ;) xxx

I don’t want you to ever ever change, lovely! Also, I’m NEVER bored by your messages! You put so much effort into the research you do and the messages you send and it’s appreciated! <3 

I started following Lindsey on IG because she seems pretty genuine, and her cat is way too cute! Plus, I like her attitude. I haven’t followed her for the whole Walker season, but even she doesn’t post a lot about it. She posts interviews and then posts about that night’s episode, but other than that, nothing.  Can’t speak for Keegan, but how are fans and non-fans supposed to be excited about a show when the people STARRING in the show can’t be bothered? Maybe they’re all aware of how shitty it is or maybe they’re lazy, but it doesn’t make sense. 

I’m always interested to see the difference in an “algorithm-free” setting and one that has an algorithm. I always figured Google was the same for everyone, but seeing the difference in articles you’ve outlined is insane. It really just goes to show that Jared isn’t the star that his stans think he is. He’s not as important as they think he is, he’s just an actor.  It’s even more jarring to see just how little Walker is talked about at all. All of my devices probably have been “contaminated” when it comes to algorithm so I can’t really speak personally about the public and fans talking about Walker or not talking about it. I can say that on the posts about Walker from the Supernatural Facebook page, a good chunk of the comments are people saying they stopped watching, never got into it, or thought it was trash. There are only a handful of comments talking about how they enjoy the show. 

I think it was disgusting for him to use a fan’s passing for publicity. And no, I don’t think it was anything other than a PR stunt. Her family had a GFM going that was promoted by plenty of the case INCLUDING GEN, so you know he knew about it. But for him to make his own special one and then have articles posted everywhere about how charitable he is? That’s gross PR bullshit and I hope it backfires. 

I still follow a few Supernatural fans, Jared fans, Jensen fans, etc. on Tumblr and even they aren’t mentioning it. I think maybe the hardcore Jared stans post gifsets or whatever, but I don’t see much praise for the show itself, just Jared’s looks. Even the fans aren’t biting and that would make me reevaluate everything if I was Jared. 

I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow. This made me laugh way too hard!

who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films You are on a ROLL!  Maybe I’ve become biased, but I can’t see Jared doing films. I mean, I could see him doing like a side character role or something small, but I can’t see him having a big part of a movie. Like I said, maybe that’s me being biased but I see him staying in TV. I could be proven wrong, but I don’t know. 

I agree about Jared being boring on SM. I used to get some giggles from his Twitter posts and even some of his early IG posts because they were goofy, clever, and candid. It showed his humor and was more personable. Now it’s just all fake and comes off as someone whose only motivation to engage with fans is money and that’s a big turn off. 

For me personally, I think that if instead of the “couple goals” bullshit that they try to push for their lavish trips, if they just posted cool pictures they took of different locations, activities, food or whatever, that would be more palatable than all the “Look at my hubster and I! We’re in Italy! Look at how in love we are!” But maybe that’s because I’ve become a bit of a photography nerd? 

I guess time will tell whether or not Jared will make positive changes and if Walker can be saved, but I’m not really optimistic about it. 

I AM optimistic about your takes on things so keep them coming! Long posts or not, I love them! <3

#grumpy answers #social media anon #anti jared padalecki #anti walker

[nadjastersurveys]

What is in the back seat of your car right now? I don’t have a car.

What was the last thing you threw up? I haven't thrown up in years but it was probably food.

Menthol or regular cigarettes? I don't smoke.

What is your favorite episode of Friends? I don't watch that show, I think I've seen only a few episodes before. I thought it was funny but I'm not good at keeping up with TV shows.

Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No.

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be? If I'm going to marry someone I would like to get to know them personally first lol.

Have you been to a strip club? No.

Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes.

Are you wearing socks right now? No I don't wear socks to bed.

What was the last thing you had to drink? I just finished my coffee.

What are you wearing right now? White baggy t-shirt and purple sweatpants.

Last food you ate? I ate a toast.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? No, I haven't bought any clothes in a while but I really want to ahh.

When is the last time you ran? I ran to catch the bus couple days ago.

What’s the last sporting event you watched? I watched some MMA on Youtube today.

Last person’s house you were in? My friend's.

Last movie you saw? The Omen.

Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? I'm not on Facebook.

Ever go to camp? Yeah I've been to dance camps when I was younger.

Were you an honor roll student in school? We don't have that here. But if we did I definitely wouldn't be though :(

Do you like sushi? Yes.

Do you have a tan? No.

How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't know lol I don't wanna think about it now.

Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? Yes but I'd rather not.

What is your age? 17.

Are you someone’s best friend? I have a friend group consisting of 5 people + my gf and we're all best friends.

What are your siblings’ middle names? I don't wanna tell you that.

Where is your dad right now? He's in the kitchen I think.

What was the last thing you said? I said something to my sister but I forgot what.

What color is your watch? I don’t have a watch.

What do you think of when you think of Australia? The beaches.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yeah but I don't like them.

Favorite gemstone? Uhh I like rubies.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Usually I go in since my parents are not big fans of fast food and they are the people who drive me to places.

Do you have a roommate? No.

Do you have any bad habits? Yeah there's some.

What is your favorite number? I don't have one.

Do you know anyone named Lori? Nope.

What color is your mom’s hair? Like a dark blonde.

Do you have a dog? Nope.

What happened to you in 1993? I didn't exist then.

Does your first memory involve your dad? I don't know what my first memory is.

Do you remember singing any songs as kids? Yeah I sang quite a lot especially with my older siblings.

When was the last time you went swimming? Last summer but I just dipped my legs in the lake so I wasn't swimming. I don't like swimming that much, so.

Has your luggage ever gotten lost? No.

Biggest annoyance in your life right this minute? School and the fact that I suck.

Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? Noo, I don't like breaking stuff lol.

Do you like watching a bonfire? Yeah it's nice and calming.

Are you allergic to anything? Not that I know of.

What is one thing you miss about your past? My old friend the most.

Do you ever get flu shots? I don't think so?

Favorite shoes that you wear all the time? My Adidas and Nike shoes.

What is one thing you’ve learned about life recently? That it's getting hard day by day lol.

Are you jealous of anyone? Nah.

Is anyone jealous of you? Probably not. One friend of my friend said once that my life seems so perfect to her though but I don't think she was jealous of me. Since my life isn't perfect anyway obviously.

#survey

[writingsbychlo]

How would it be like to help bucky adjust to his new life (like he comes from the 1900 and needs to get used to the 2000)

it would take a while, let's start there

he’s got a lot of insecurities and doubts, so it’s a slow process, he’s not jumping right into anything, he still gets nervous just going outside during the day without anything to hide behind

first things first, the store. supermarkets are a new concept to him, they didn’t exist int he forties, he’s used to having to go to all different shops

every Saturday his ma used to take him and his sisters to the farmer’s market, the fishmongers, the butchers, the bakery, all of them, carrying bags in their arms as they walked from building to building

if he was lucky, she would let them all get something from the candy store at the very end of the trip, his weekly sugar treat

now, it was all in one building. it was loud and always busy and there was awful music and lights that were so damn bright, it was a lot to take in.

you go to the store with him every time, always guiding him through the aisles and taking charge when you needed help in finding something, and you are always the one to speak to the cashier at the checkout

your next big feat is managing computers, and easing him into technology, because there’s no fireplace and he has no idea how to use the thermostat and how to check his bank balance, and what a credit card even does

sam is pretty patient too, he’s a big help, but he does have his own life to lead, and so he’s not around as much as you re. you’re here, because you owed a favour to a late steve rogers, and decided this was the best way to cash it in to him

he’s not a big fan of social media, he doesn’t really want anything to do with it all, but he is a big fan of Snapchat

“You’re telling me, I can take a picture of a cool dog and send it to Sam, and I don’t have to have it printed or put in a letter?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

“That’s fantastic.”

he likes to compare things to ‘his day’ as you show him new things, telling him how it used to be done as you show him the new ways

teaching him how to drive is much easier than you thought it was going to be, he had a fair amount of the basics down, and he was a pretty good study when it came to learning roadsigns and etiquette

he hates sports cars. despises them. just doesn't see the point of them.

bucky has a big car, something functional and less about being flashy, an SUV that can do the city and the mountains, all of it

he gets better at the modern things, slowly adjusting, but some things still confuse him, and some things he’s not even sure he wants to learn about

he doesn’t really understand twitter so he likes to get a newspaper still, and he likes to do a postal vote instead of going to the polls

it’s about compromises, and finding the middle ground for him

he’s never going to be one hundred percent in the modern-day and age, and yet he really wants to make an effort to get at least halfway there

it’s after his first full year of what the two of you have been affectionately dubbing as an adjustment period instead of lifestyle shock therapy when he starts to hint about modern-day ‘courting’

aka, he has absolutely no idea where to start with making your friendship into something more romantic than platonic, and how to even know if you want that

he figures that with how casual everything is these days, going for the whole flowers and smartest outfit and candlelight dinners is a bit much

but then you tell him to just ask someone out for coffee, and get to know them and so he asks you out to coffee and you joke about how you already have coffee plans with him on Thursdays, and he realises this is going to be harder than he thought

because he has no idea how to ‘woo’ you, because you’re used to casual, but you’re ready at that stage with him and have no idea

it’s over one of these coffee meet-ups as he’s questioning you on covert tactics to see what you like that you final spill just what he needs to hear

“You know, sometimes I wish I was born in the forties. Call me a romantic, but I still think the whole pick you up at eight, meet your parents, buy you flowers thing is big. I’ve seen kids nowadays celebrating their one-year anniversary by posting a picture on Facebook, I think it should be more. I don’t know.”

it takes him about a week of complaining to Sam about having no idea how to go about this information before the two of them finally get it

they want the perfect mix of old-fashioned charm and modern casual

so Bucky texts you to be ready in your comfiest clothes at eight, even pyjamas if that’s what you want, and he’ll pick you up

he says you’re having a movie night, but when you get back, Sam is out for the night, and he’s got dinner keeping warm in the oven

he cooked himself, something of his Ma’s recipes, and he got you flowers and he’s set the dining table up with a cloth and a candle and everything

and with a little mix of modern and classic, he can see in your eyes when you finally get what he’s been trying to ask

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes headcanons #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes/you #bucky x reader #bucky/you #Anonymous

[caiuscassiuss]

Homecoming (M)

Pairing: NCT Johnny ♡ Female!Reader

Description: When a high school reunion drags you back from the bustling city to your hometown, you can’t help but feel inadequate compared your friends’ settled lives, who have thing you want most— kids. You may get your most desperate wish when your long-lost best friend sweeps into town, not quite the introverted nerd he was from 10 years ago.

Genre: high school reunion au smut | romance  WC: 16k Warnings: graphic smut (Dom! Johnny + Sub! Reader, dirty talk, !!!pregnancy kink!!!, unprotected sex, oral sex, rough sex, bulge kink, slight exhibitionism, footsie, slight cum eating, overstimulation), mentions of adultery

(A/N: I’m dedicating this fic to my bestie, my Ten to my Taeyong, my vanilla bean to my weird kinky shit: @kookyong. Thank you so much for supporting me through the creation of this fic and cheering me on when I felt down. Also, fuck you, you stole my idea of dedication before I even told you. Also, a huge thanks to @lovingyong for beta-ing a part of this story and providing such great feedback! I’d also like to thank @galaxybeeji and @aveluant1a for helping me translate some Korean.)

Also, please don’t have unprotected sex and stay safe.

A sigh leaves your lips as you sip at your beer, basking in the electronic light of your phone in the dim, crowded bar. You started reaching over for another fry in the basket, but as you looked up from your phone you noticed there was less than a fourth of the fries remaining.

Apparently, you were steadily but surely devouring the fry basket no one had touched. 

Truly, you had no idea why you were here, sitting alone in a dark booth, watching your co-workers slowly lose their inhibitions as the night went on. The little get together your coworkers made took over the whole bar, filling it with laughter and yells all around.

You scrolled through more pictures of your friends’ perfect family lives, each photo of a white-picket house they were moving into or the welcoming their new child slowly piled weight onto your chest. While you have never been claustrophobic, you felt the walls and the people of this little dingy bar on 43rd street close in on you like a vice.

Scooting out of the booth, you stayed to the sides of the crowded room while attempting to navigate groups of tipsy adults. You inwardly cringed of how much you stood out, a dark spot staining the convivial atmosphere.

“Y/N?”

You whipped around wide-eyed to see Sara standing behind you, a slight sloppy smile plastered to her face as your middle-aged co-workers stared at her unabashedly. Young, beautiful, vivacious— Sara was the office catch, in her red slip and heels. She was dressed to kill.

“Hey! Sara,” you said awkwardly, twiddling with the flap of your purse. Even standing in your best slinky dress in front of her, you felt like a washed out, pale imitation of her.

“Where are you off to? The party just started!” she giggled, the shimmery sequins of her dress sparkling along with her smile.

You quickly tried to formulate a valid excuse. “I actually—”

A loud ring came from your cell phone, vibrating against your thigh.

“I just need to step out real quick to answer this call,” you smiled softly, hoping to convey you needed to take this urgent call as quickly as possible.

“Well, okay,” she pouted. You motioned to step out but a soft hand on your arm stopped you.

Turning back to Sara, she looked unusually serious as she gripped your arm slightly.

“Y/N, have some fun here, alright? You work so hard, you deserve a night out. Especially since you’re all alone-”

What you hoped was a smile was plastered to your face as you shook yourself out of her grip, your small “thanks” murmured into a loud bar unheard as you stepped out.

“Cynthia?” you asked into the phone, sitting on a chair on the terrace.

“Y/N! Oh my god, girl, how are you?” your high school friend squealed into the phone.

Wondering how she could be awake at this time as a new mom, you quickly realized she was a few hours behind New York time.

“Hey yourself, I’m doing well. How about you?” you asked softly.

“I’m doing well! I just had to tell you about Ryland! Our new son, remember? So-”

As she gushed over the first words of her newborn baby, you hummed and agreed at the appropriate moments. You marveled at how much she had changed since your high school days. This was a big difference from the wild girl from high school you knew, the girl with sharp cheekbones with an even sharper wit. Now, in her profile pictures she was rounded and aglow from the joys of motherhood. Your hand slowly rose to meet where your eye and cheekbone met, feeling the flesh that lay there. You had no laugh lines.

“-invitation?”

“Huh?” you asked, shaking out of your stupor.

Cynthia huffed. “Sily, I said did you get my invite on Facebook?”

“No,” you said plainly. You were lying, of course. You had seen the invite, but you scrolled past without even looking at the title.

A groan resounded from the phone. “Y/N, what am I supposed to do with you? God, it’s an invite to our high school reunion!”

Immediately, you wanted to say no. Like, hell no, but you thankfully held your tongue.

“Oh, really? That’s great, Cynthia, but I’m afraid I can’t go—”

“Wait! I haven’t even mentioned the date! It’s a few weeks from now, and you just have to go! Everyone does!”

Truthfully, you had no desire to go back to your old town and see your friends’ perfect families and their perfect kids, their perfect domestic lives. Your high school reunion was always popular with alumni as an event to flaunt how much they were making, how gorgeous their significant other was, how adorable their kids were. It was all one big clusterfuck of gossip and arrogance— not endearing at the slightest.

“Everyone misses you, Y/N. I know I do.”

“I miss you too but I don’t know, I’m really busy with work—”

“Shut up, Y/N. You’re just using that as an excuse since you’re too scared to face everyone.”

Ah, there’s her sharp riposte. Her wit had not dulled with her age, it seems.

“Cynthia—” you stuttered, unable to reply to her retort.

“You bet your ass I will fly out to New York, find you in that concrete jungle then drag you back to attend this goddamn reunion.”

“...I’ll see,” you relented.

“Great! So—” a baby’s cry resounded in the background. “Oh my gosh, I have to go to Ryland now! I’ll text you the details later, bye bye!”

The dark screen of your phone stared back at you as she hung up on you. You could only pray to some higher being this reunion wouldn’t turn out badly.

The skyline of your hometown was unfamiliar to you.

There were a few shadows added, maybe some missing, maybe not. It is not the familiar curves and dips you always used to see when you glanced out your bedroom window.

Even passing through the main part of the town itself, it was so surreal. There were so many new buildings of glass and concrete that juxtaposed the old timey feel of the main street. New signs, new roads, new people passed by you in your Lyft ride.

You had to stop yourself from wondering over the town when you saw your breath fog up the windshield and you hastily jerked back. You hoped the driver didn’t see you looking like an excited 8 year old.

As the car slowly turned into your parent’s neighborhood, a wave of pure nostalgia hit you like a truck. As your eyes traced over the familiar houses on your street, a whole flood of innocent, child-like memories came back to you. All the times playing ball in the street with your neighbor, or even waiting nervously at the bus stop for the first day of school— long forgotten things from your past rose up.

Memories of tanned skin and wide smiles filled your memory, and you felt a pang with in your heart.

Johnny Suh.

“Uhm, ma’am? We’re here?”

You were shaken out of your memories but the sound of the Lyft driver looking at you nervously through his rearview window. 

“Oh, sorry sir! Thank you for the ride.”

Your two heavy suitcases rolled behind you as you strolled through your parents’ large driveway, and your heart started to beat nervously as you saw the front door slowly getting larger.

Hands trembling, you rung the doorbell and stared into the cloudy glass.

You heard flurry of footsteps pitter patter to the front, and you thought you were prepared when your mother opened front door, but turns out you weren’t.

“Y/N?”

Your mother looked as beautiful as ever, the crow lines underneath her eyes and the wisps of grey in her hair looking gorgeous. You haven’t seen her in years, and you could feel a gathering of tears in your waterline.

“Mommy,” you said, choking up a bit towards the end.

“My darling girl? My sweetheart? You’re here?”

“Yes, mom.”

“Y/D/N, come! Y/N is back!”

As your dad came tearing down the hall and his eyes focused on you, you saw his old eyes brighten and fill up with tears.

“My little turtle?”

“Hi daddy!” you smile weakly, giving a little wave.

“Come and give your dad a hug! I haven’t seen you in so long!”

As you rested in the embrace of your mother and father, you thought that maybe coming home wasn’t so bad at all.

The afternoon sun beat down upon your bare shoulders, your wide-brimmed boater hat offering no respite.

You could only drink your ice-cold lemonade in hopes of cooling down and not feeling like a sweaty rat, fanning yourself with a menu and looking over the balcony.

“—and Ryland goes “I wanna pear, mommy!” and then Callie says ,”Ryland, that’s a potato.” It was a mango!”

Cynthia cracked up laughing, and you let out a few peals of laughter so as to not seem awkward. Every time Cynthia mentioned her darling kids, a burning jealousy gripped your heart until you could only see green. You truly wish you could enjoy your friends’ stories about how her kids could say the darndest things, but it only increased your yearning for kids tenfold.

“Well, enough about my life. How’s your job in the Big Apple? You’re one of those white collar types now, aren’t you?”

You sipped at the lemonade, wishing it was something much stronger. Your eyes swept over her appearance; the Facebook pictures were wrong, she was much more radiant in person. “You could say that, I guess. I travel a lot, though I’m only in New York half of the year. Usually I end up in the UK or Beijing. My work is very good to me.”

Cynthia sighed in faux envy, her hand resting over her swollen breasts from pregnancy. “You’re so cool, Y/N. It must be so fun traveling all over the world and seeing all these new things, tasting all the great food!”

You thought back to your large, empty apartment overlooking the Greenway that felt more like a showroom.The film of dust your housekeeper had to clean. The vacant adjacent plane seats. The uncomfortable fact you never had someone to go home to.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

After a few minutes of light hearted chat, your straw was sucking at your almost empty glass. God, you needed to pee.

“Sorry, Cy. I gotta go to the restroom for a minute, un momento!”

After relieving yourself, you stepped out of the restroom only to walk face first into a well-built chest. As much as you wanted to press your whole body onto his delicious one, it wasn’t exactly societally acceptable to be seen rubbing yourself against a stranger like a dog in the heat.

You (unfortunately) moved back, apologizing profusely. “I am so sorry, are you alrig...”

The last syllables left your mouth at the pace of molasses at your shock of seeing this god of a man in front of you. Tall, broad shouldered, with hidden muscles flexing under his casual white oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his veiny forearms.

And his face. His face was like sin, chiseled as hell with pouty lips and sharp eyes. But as your gaze roamed over his features, you saw the scar near his lips that was barely visible. Only one person you knew had that unique scar, in its unique placement. He got it from accidentally knocking his trumpet too hard into his lips in sophomore year.

“Johnny?!” you gasped.

His face brightened up for a second, a brilliant gleam to his eyes until it went away in a flash.

“Y/N.”

His dark, tenor tone raised gooseflesh along your bare arms and shoulders. This was definitely not the Johnny you knew so well from high school.

After a moment of awkward silence (he didn’t look inclined to embrace you in a hug or even speak), and you spoke up. “Um, it’s great to see you. You look good.”

“Thanks, you too,” he said shortly.

A slight crease formed on your brow as you frowned lightly, not used to his coldness. If this were the Johnny you knew in high school, he would’ve wrapped you in a big bear hug with his long, lanky limbs flailing. He looked like he grew into those limbs.

“Well, do you have time to catch up? I haven’t seen you in a decade,” you breathed out.

He pursed his lips for a moment. “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t. I’m only here because I’m meeting an old investor.”

It was only then you noticed his fancy watch and his shined Weston shoes, along with the dark leather briefcase he had in his hand. He looked like a Wall Street shark.

You were sure your face fell for a second, since he frowned minutely, until you felt a mask of pity snap into place. “That’s a shame. Well, have fun with your investor. See you… sometime.”

You bravely moved to pat his arm, and his face did not change even when you passed by him. You felt his intense gaze upon your retreating figure and until you were sure he couldn’t see you, sprinted through the crowded cafe to your balcony table with Cynthia.

“God, what took you so long?” she complained. “Our food already arrived.”

“Did you know Johnny Suh was in town?! I just ran into him!” you fake whispered.

Her brows lifted in surprise. “No? I didn’t see him on the Facebook guest list—”

You quickly pulled out your phone and opened the invite list. There, in dark navy font, was Johnny Suh.

“He was your best friend, right? The nerdy band kid you was always with?”

You felt the edges of your mouth pull down. “Hey, he’s not like that. He was a great and friendly guy! But I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“Well, how is he?”

“I-He looked like a damn god, Cynthia. He’s so different from high school. I couldn’t even recognize him,” you breathed out.

Her eyebrows only climbed higher in surprise. “Well, I’ll be. Was not expecting that.”

You snorted. “No one was, even his fucking best friend of 4 years didn’t.”

Cynthia took a bite of her salad, a look of contemplation upon her rounded features.

“Something wrong, Y/N?”

You hugged yourself and looked away. “Well, when I say he’s not like from before, he really isn’t. I wasn’t expecting him to be this cold.”

This really wasn’t a situation you wanted to be in. At all. 

Sitting here in a pretty, floral sundress, sitting on a park bench in the midst of all your former classmates chatting with decked out strollers parked beside them.

You tried your best to not feel uncomfortable, as Cynthia looked like she was enjoying herself, but this was simply not your speed. You’d never expected Cynthia to be friends with the popular kids at school in the future, but look where she was now. Chattering and giggling with the rest of them.

Your discomfort was only enforced by how different you looked from everybody, how Cynthia’s PTA mom friends were dressed like they were about to go to play tennis. They knew each other well and could giggle and gossip, but you were in your own isolated world.

Last, but not least:

They all had children.

You stared enviously at the little angels ran around the playground, screaming and cavorting about. Some stumbled on their legs, new to the concept to walking, but some sat quite passively staring out in space. Reluctantly, a smile crept upon your face as a group of little ones played tag. They ran, weaving in and out between children and playground equipment. Your eyes followed a darling girl dressed in red, with her cheeks flushed in excitement as she zoomed around but then--wham!-- slammed into a playground pole.

A gasp escaped your mouth and you almost stood up to go to her, until a tired groan resounded from across from you as a tanned blonde lazily got up to attend to her child. Then, you were bitterly reminded that, no, that was not your beautiful child.

“Oh my, poor Kayla, that little darling is always getting hurt! Bless her poor heart!” a woman (Kendall, maybe?) dressed in neon pink cooed her concern.

You could only sulk in pathetic silence as you deliberately excluded yourself from the conversation, too uncomfortable and upset to truly feel at place. Hell, it wasn’t just because you were clearly an outsider, it was the way this group of women treated people they thought lower them. Sudden memories came to you of Johnny’s crooked smile fading as he realized they never thought of him as a friend. How his friendly, warm personality was used against him as he helped them with their homework but was never truly thought as “in”.  He cried so much that night.

“-you nowadays, Y/N?”

You whipped your head back around to see one of the nicer women, Katie, smiling at you as the whole group focused on your angered face.

“I’m sorry, come again? I’m afraid I was distracted.”

She laughed. “No problemo, sweetie. I just said ‘How are you?’ What’s going on in your life?”

A tight smile spread across your mouth. “I’m doing well right now. I work in New York as a private manager for J.P. Morgan,” you said politely, steeling yourself for the onslaught of questions.

“Ooh, so do you get paid well? Do you travel a lot?” someone butt in. You turned to see it was that one noisy theater kid (Anna?) and you decided to answer politely.

You tittered out a delicate laugh, the type you emit when you have to play nice with a client. You turn a modest smile Anna’s way. “I get by comfortably, and yes, I’m usually out of the country until someone here,” you side-eyed Cynthia, who waved cheerfully, “convinced me to come back for the reunion.”

Noises of approval came from the group, and they continued to ask polite questions until one sugary sweet drawl slithered in.

“Well, you sound so accomplished! This is all so amazing,” the tanned, voluptuous brunette 2 seats down from you piped up. “But, do you have anyone to share it with? Any hotshot hubby? Darling kids?”

You gritted your teeth, “No, unfortunately my job hasn’t allowed me to have much personal time.”

The other part of group turned away, wandering into other conversations and leaving the two of you relatively alone. She gasped dramatically, showing her immaculate gel manicure. “Are you even of the female kind?!” she playfully joked, but you could hear the undertone of smugness beneath.

Oh. Now you remember.

Victoria Edwards, that little bitch from the church group that always seemed to hate you. You had no idea what was her problem, especially since your parents had long been friendly with hers. Perhaps it was the fact you were amiable with everyone while many were tired of her spoiled attitude. Nevertheless, every chance she had to spite you or make things uncomfortable, she took it. Victoria did it with such calculated anger, you wondered what you ever did wrong to her. You never found out; she just had it out for you.

You shrugged modestly, careful to hide your trembling fingers in the folds of your dress lest you reach out a put her in a chokehold.

“But don’t you want kids? Who’s going to take care of you when you get older?” she continued, a look of faux pity on her heart-shaped face.

She just can’t stop, huh?

“Perhaps if everything slows down,” you replied carefully.

“Your eggs are going to get cold if you wait too long! I’ve heard those new fangled procedures for older women are very risky with a low chance of—”

“Thank you for the advice, Victoria. You seem very well-read on it— since your husband is always busy, you know— and you sound like you have some good experience under your belt. I’ll come to you for any help.”

You send a charming smile her way, and slowly rise up from your comfortable perch. Waving a goodbye Cynthia’s way, you continue to depart.

You refrain from sashaying away.

Wandering through the paths of your town’s best park, you reveled in the feeling of truly being in nature for the first time in over a decade. New York had Central, sure, but your town’s really immersed you in the outdoors without sky-scraping structures looming threateningly over you.

Closing your eyes to feel the radiant sunshine on your skin, you were startled when a little girl’s cry broke the peaceful silence of the area. It sounded muffled, but not too far away from where you were from.

“Hello? Sweetie, where are you?”

The cries only grew louder, and your footsteps only grew more frantic as you searched through the undergrowth.

“Hold, I’m coming to get you—”

You burst into a secluded part of the path and see a familiar little girl in a yellow jumpsuit bawling her eyes. You spotted a blotch of red and brown on her pale elbow and you practically ran to her shaking figure.

“Oh, poor sweetie, are you okay?”

She pulled her head out from her knees and cautiously stared at you, her cries dying down. You recognize her immediately. She was Cynthia’s snarky little 5 years old, Callie.

“I want M-mommy,” she pouted, rubbing her eyes so adorably you couldn’t help but melt.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry it’s Aunt Y/N,” you smiled kindly at her.

“A-Auntie?” she sniffled.

“Yes, sweetheart.”

She put her arms up and you obliged, careful not to jostle her wound too badly.

“Let’s go to Mommy, alright? It’s gonna be A-Okay.”

She buried your face in your neck, her soft puffs of hair brushing your cheek and you almost melted right there on the spot.

“You wanna tell me what happened, baby?” you asked, taking a fast past towards the trail path.

“I twipped on somethin’,” she mumbled.

“I’m so sorry sweet girl, how much does it hurt?”

“Vewy bad.”

“Oh dear,” you whispered.

As soon as you saw a small shed that had a red cross over it, you quickly made your way on over. Sitting her on the counter gently, you smiled your best smile.

“Auntie’s gonna get you all cleaned up, okay?”

She nodded, and you took that as consent when you reached for a first aid kit. You immediately cringed, knowing the first step was going to be painful for both of you.

“Baby, to get rid of the red and black, I’m gonna have to clean it. It might sting a bit so can you a strong girl for me?”

You saw her stubbornness Cynthia frequently complained about, as she jutted out her lip and nodded resolutely.

Getting out the alcohol and pads, you gave her a warning as you lightly pressed, She made a noise of discomfort, and your head snapped up to see if she was any pain.

“Callie?”

“I-I’m fine, Auntie,” she mumbled firmly. 

Pinching her cheek playfully, you continued to disinfect the wound to reveal a light scrape on the skin of her elbow. Wrapping it up nice and tight, you patted her thigh.

“All done, baby,” you smiled. “Good job,” you pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Is she yours?”

You let out a little scream as you dropped the cotton pads. You snapped your head to see Johnny Suh in a sleeveless tank and jogging shorts, a light sheen to his muscles from his work out.

He has one fit bod, a part of you whispered. The veins in his toned forearms, his fit calves, the hint of his strong chest in his tank— 

There was a child next to you, for god’s sake!

Callie was laughing next to you, all her pain forgotten. Recovering from your shock, you rolled your eyes and playfully booped her on the nose, causing her to swat at it playfully.

“You silly little goose,” you chastized. She giggled even more, a beautiful smile split on her face.

A cough resounded from behind you and you remembered Johnny fucking Suh was behind you in the hottest workout gear you’ve ever seen and you blanched.

“So?” he raised an eyebrow, nodding towards Callie.

“Nope, this little sweetheart is Cynthia’s,” you said, squeezing Callie closer.

“Oh,” he merely said. You thought you detected a glimpse of relief on his face, before he moved it to that impassive mask.

His sharp eyes zoomed in on the bandage at her elbow and he frowned. “What happened? Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, just a minor trip,” you soothed, picking up Callie from the counter.

“Auntie, who is that?” she inconspicuously whispered, causing you to muffle your laughter against her head. Johnny had a slightly amused grin on his face.

“That’s Mr. Johnny. He’s an old… friend of mine,” you informed her, shifting her on your hip.

“Hi Mr. Johnny! I’m Callie and I’m 6 years old!” Callie brightly smiled, holding up 5 fingers.

“Sweetie, you need one more finger to make six,” you giggled, as you uncurled another finger on her other palm to make six.

Johnny let out a chuckle and bent down to eye level with the child in your arms. “Hiya kid. You can call me Johnny.”

“How old are you Mister Johnny? You look… like… very old!,” Callie flails her arms, unable to properly express the number.

A small smile graced his face, a glow in his eyes as he looked at the small child in your arms. His face wasn’t the one you saw in the cafe. “Not quite, baby. I’m the same age as your mommy.”

Callie continued to entertain Johnny as the three of you walked down the path, towards where her mom was sitting. Eventually, the adrenaline of the whole experience of getting hurt and meeting someone new wore off, and she slept soundly on your shoulder.

An awkward silence permeated between you and Johnny, as you busied yourself with the scenery you had seen hundreds of times while he regressed to his cold persona. His presence next to you was too close yet too far, and you could feel how tense you were walking next to him. Sometimes, his arm would brush against your shoulder and it ignited a series of nerves you haven’t felt in years. It was like there was a furnace flowing underneath your skin. You curled Callie in your arms a bit tighter to stave off whatever he was doing to you.

You felt Callie rustle a bit and you knew that if she woke up, she would be extremely grumpy so you hummed lightly, bouncing her up and down in your arms while patting her back lightly. So focused you were in your task, the undecipherable look in Johnny’s eyes went unnoticed.

“How have you been?,” Johnny spoke, his low voice still so unfamiliar to your ears.

Your head snapped up toward his, him now towering over you when you had once been his height. His black hair lay across his eyes, his amber eyes intensely focused at you.

“I’ve been alright. Good,” you mumbled.

Another lengthy period of silence stretched between you.

“...I heard you were snatched up by J.P. Morgan when you graduated. That’s a good company,” Johnny said.

“Yeah, I’m now a private manager there. They’ve— the company—has been very good to me over these years,” you smiled slightly. It was true, the company had treated you well and given you a career, but you were still so...lonely.

“You look like you’re doing well for yourself.”

“....yes.” Silence. “You too— you look like you’re doing well.”

“I’d like to think so. I-, uhm, I’m the CEO of an online banking company— Banksy, have you heard of it?”

You were embarrassed to admit you gaped at him for a solid minute. Banksy? It was one of the trendiest e-businesses that had grown exponentially when the tech boom hit the market. The small start-up crested the wave until it had become a blue-chip name on the stock exchange. You even had an account with them!

“I-I have. I even have an account with them— you. Wow, Johnny, congratulations, that’s honestly amazing,” you smiled brightly at him, really and truly proud of your high school best friend doing so well for himself— no matter how cold he was to you.

A reluctant smile crawled over his plump lips, and you realize how much you had missed him. Yes, he was your best friend in every sense the word meant. He had been there and celebrated when you made it onto the softball team, offered you his hoodie when your period had come out of nowhere, even been there when you had gotten into an accident, senior year.

He had gotten there first. Not the police, not your parents— him, in his stupid Naruto pajamas, pulling up in his shitty 2001 Honda Accord and bawling his eyes out.

You hadn’t realized how much you relied upon him until you moved to college in another state, totally lost and confused without your best friend. Regret had always been an emotion associated with his name. You wished you had kept in contact with him, and even more so regretted you hadn’t ever truly revealed your...

“Thank you, Y/N.”

He opened up his mouth to say something, then immediately opened it again, but then paused. He looked like he was having a conflict within himself, but he shook his head and stared directly at you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I couldn’t really talk to you that day with met at the cafe. It was a bit… rude in hindsight.”

You blinked in shock, mouth slightly ajar as you stumbled on the path.

“O-Oh, that? Don’t worry about it— I get it, we’re all so busy nowadays,” you offered a weak smile.

“No, I’m in the wrong here. We were… we were best friends for years, I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

His brows furrowed, you notice how much he has matured. Not just in his looks and the way he presented himself, it was the way he treated you. Don’t get it wrong (he was a sweetheart during high school), but he seemed more sure of himself, more able to take responsibility and address conflict. He had always had kind of avoided confrontation, the one part you hated of him you hated during high school, and would always just kind of awkwardly wait for any conflict to pass by and ignore it. He was so much Johnny, but so much less.

“Hey, it’s alright. We were both just not used to each other, y’know? You were probably stressed out at the time and took it out on me. There’s no need to get in a tizzy over that.”

“It’s just I haven’t seen you in years and I treated you like that—”

“Youngho.”

His Korean name sort of forced itself out of your mouth, hiding in the back of your throat all these years and finally popping back up when the man himself did. No one really knew of his other name other than his sweet mother and you, since your white-ass town would’ve butchered it until the point of disfiguration. Hearing you say it had always calmed him down.

“...fine,” he pouted. Maybe, just maybe, you saw bits of the old Johnny peek through the new mask, new body of his. “Man, I just feel terrible about it, though. It hasn’t left my mind in days.”

“Why don’t you make it up to me by getting a coffee with me sometime? I.. I’d love to catch up, Johnny. I’d really, really like to.”

His dark eyes met yours and yours widened.

“I’d love to.”

By the time your unlikely trio reached the PTA moms plus Cynthia, it was already late afternoon. The sun had turned golden, the kids were getting tired, and the music from your town’s main street could be faintly heard.

“Y/N? Y/N?! Have you seen—” Cynthia called out frantically, waving her cell phone around but paused when she saw her child in your arms.

“Oh my god, Callie! Sweetheart!”

She sprinted across the sidewalk to immediately take the sleepy child from your tired arms. You could see the sunlight glint off her sweaty face, her unkempt hair frizzing out of her bun while she rocked Callie in her arms.

A slight grin graced your face as you tilted your head and took in the sweet mother-daughter moment. Unbeknownst to you, the man beside you had the same expression on as well, his hands itching to pull you closer.

“Cynthia? Sweetheart, did you find Callie?” someone shouted from the side.

A flock of moms headed towards your general direction, all carrying their kids with them and hoisting their heavy bags. As soon as they reached you, their eyes had wandered from Cynthia and zoomed in on the delectable piece of man next to you. You remembered how he looked with his toned and veiny arms on display in his loose tank, how good he looked with his hair windblown and disheveled and you inwardly smacked your head. He was basically bait for middle-aged women.

“Y/N, who is this? Would you care to introduce us?” the woman you thought was Kendall cocked out her hip, her eyes still fixated on Johnny.

“This is—”

“Am I late to the party? Well, thank god we found Ca— oh, who is this?”

Everyone’s favorite girl Victoria sauntered into your midst, her rambunctious kids following behind her.

You gave a tight smile. “Ladies, do you remember Johnny Suh from high school? This is him.”

The women present smiled brightly but did not seem to remember his name.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t seem to recall you from back then,” Victoria smiled apologetically. Your eyes zoomed in on the subtle movements she displayed— the slight stroking of her bare arms, the hooded lids— and you rolled your eyes.

“Hold on, weren’t you a trumpet in marching band? Vice president of the Anime Club?” Anne popped out, the glint of recognition in her eyes,

Johnny chuckles and shifted his weight. “Yeah, that was me,” he said, with a sort of secretive smile on his lips.

You watched with smug satisfaction as the ladies’ eyes collectively widened in disbelief, Victoria even going stiff for a moment before recovering. The boy they had excluded, used, looked down on, had grown into this man next to you.

“W-well, I’ll be! You’ve changed so much from back then,” Kendall (still unsure who the hell she is) grinned.

“You could say that,” Johnny smirked before pushing his hair out of his face, everyone’s eyes following his toned arms flexing.

Karma is so sweet.

“Y/N, mom threatened to decapitate me if I didn’t invite you to dinner. Could you come over?”

Always the momma’s boy.

“You want to save this sexy face, right?”

There he was. That was the Johnny you knew.

“Mm, I don’t know. You could use a little ego beat down,” you laughed, bending down to open your suitcase.

“Don’t lie, love, you find me attractive,” he breathed, his voice rough. You bit your lip at the noise, gripping your shirt tight enough to create wrinkles.

A beat of silence passed before you moved to speak. “Dress code, Johnny?”

He snorted. “You could show up in pajamas and mom and dad would still be glad to see you.”

“Even in those silly Naruto pajamas you wore?” you teased.

“Hey! They were not silly-”

“- sure, anime club VP-”

“- and shut up, you stole them anyways.”

You sighed, remembering the orange pajama top stuffed in the back of a cabinet. “I mean, I could just show up naked if you’re not going to give me some kind of dress code.”

A muffled grunt met your ears as it sounded like he quickly moved the phone away from his mouth and your eyes widened.

“Ugh, sorry about that I...dropped something. But fine, woman, dressy casual. Mom just came back from church and she wants to see dad and I look at least somewhat presentable.”

“How is your mom, by the way? The church?”

“Both doing fine. Mom is running the back to school drive again. Remember Mark Lee? That kid in our youth group? He’s actually the Faith Formation leader now.”

“Markie? Oh my god, I missed him!” you smiled widely as you remembered the hyper boy 4 years younger than you, who was too kind and too pure for his own good.

“I’m starting to feel offended, what about me?”

“No, ‘cause he’s cute and you’re not, Johnny.”

“That right, ‘cause I’m sexy.”

“Oh my god.”

You both burst out laughing, the moment feeling so right it warmed your chest. You laid your floral dress on your bed and flopped down next to it.

“Well, if you’re done inflating your ego, I gotta get ready. Bye bye.”

“Bye, love.”

You sighed for the umpteenth time today and your eyes were drawn around your room. Colorful pictures, awards, and random stuff covered the walls and surfaces of your room. It looked so lived in, so alive and loved it hurt to think about going back home to your starkly empty bedroom. 

To be honest, you had no idea what happened. Cynthia liked to call you the ultimate girl next door, and while you vehemently protested it at the time, now you couldn’t help but feel she was right. Back then you thought you were antisocial as hell, but as opposed to the present, you were the life of the party. Clubs, church group, Johnny— you were so bright and bubbly back then, so many people surrounding you in your small hometown.

Now, as opposed to then, you lived life like clockwork. It wasn’t surprising, since after college you threw yourself into studying to be successful, forgetting everything and everyone that made you feel alive. Now, it was robotic, tiring, and lonely.

The picture at the very center of your room caught your attention. It was a lovely one, set during the late afternoon at your town’s park. You and Johnny stood close together, arm in arm, smiling brightly at the camera dressed to the nines.

Prom.

Picking up the frame, you brushed a reverent hand across the picture of the two of you. You both had no one to go with, and decided to go together since everyone else you knew paired off. You remember him awkwardly sliding the white corsage onto your wrist, you having to tip-toe to pin his to the lapel of his blazer. In hindsight, Johnny in senior year was starting to look like the Johnny of today.

That night was so fun. Dancing ‘til you had to take off your heels, Johnny pretending to spike the punch, stuffing your face with the fancy sandwiches provided— the classical prom experience. 

The highlight was when Johnny pulled you into dancing the last song of the night. The pair of you couldn’t look each other in the eye as you slowly swayed to the music, breaths hitching at the slight distance between each other. But at the end, when you two finally caught each other’s gazes, was exhilarating. He opened his mouth, his eyes shifting back and forth in nervousness.

You thought he was going to confess.

Instead, he seemed to stop himself and smiled weakly at you. That moment of what could have been, what you could’ve done, haunted you forever until you threw yourself into studying.

What would’ve happened if you had spoken up?

“Y/N-ah!!! My love, come here!”

Heat diffused into your cheeks as you crossed the yard to the tiny woman under the patio bouncing with energy.

You struggled not to run and leap into Mrs. Suh’s arms while carrying a small roll cake from Tous Les Jours. But when you saw her wide smile and eyes folded up like crescents in happiness, you dropped your stuff on the ground and ran into her arms.

“Hi Auntie!” you murmured into her shoulder as you embraced her, tears coming into your eyes as you settled into her warm embrace.

“Oh, Y/N! I haven’t seen you for 10 years, don’t cry!” Mrs. Suh laughed as she held you at arm's length, eyes roving over your face. She wiped a tear off your cheek with her thumb and patted your neck.

“You’ve always been pretty, but now you’ve grown to be so beautiful.” She pinched your arm. “But why aren’t you eating more? Come, auntie will get you some good food.”

“I brought a roll cake, Auntie. I hope you like it,” you said, wiping tears off your face as she led you down the hall.

“Thank you, sweetheart. 여보 (Husband)! Y/N is here! Come out, come out!” she yelled down into the home office.

“Eh? Y/N?” Mr. Suh’s thin voice echoed from the office as a new wave of tears threatened to rise up.

Mr. Suh, a bit older and thinner than when you last saw him, opened the door to his office and a wide smile lit up his face.

“Give your uncle a hug!” 

As you gave your best friend’s dad a hug, more tears spilled onto your cheeks. “Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry!” Mrs. Suh said as she grabbed you into a side-hug, wiping off your tears.

“I just missed you guys so much,” you blubbered, struggling to compose yourself. Tears started to come to Mrs. Suh’s eyes and Mr. Suh laughed. These two had been more than your best friend’s parents, they had raised both of you through thick and thin. You were closer to them than most of your family when you were in high school, and they had never failed to welcome you into their home with open arms.

“Y/N, my wife has been missing her church helper. Bake sales don’t make themselves and she’s getting so old these days, you know?” he said, teasing his wife. 

She released you as she slapped his arm. “Yah! You know what, you can set up the table by yourself.. Go!”

You smiled at the utter love and admiration in their eyes as they teased each other. You had always hoped that one day, you could stare into your significant other’s eyes with an ounce of the love they have.

“Ah, Johnny’s probably still fussing with his hair upstairs. He’s missed you so much these days,” she smiled up at you.

“Moooommmm,” Johnny whined, coming down the stairs. “내 비밀 드러내지 마세요! (Don’t reveal my secrets)!”

“What? It’s true, John-ah,” she smiled at him she hugged his torso.

He turned to you, and you looked down, blushing. Johnny looked extra good today, in a casual Oxford and jeans combo that emphasized his proportions.

“Hi there,” he said, leaning on the railing. He gave you a discreet wink from above his mother’s head and affixed an intense stare on your person, his eyes roving up and down your body.

“H-Hey John,” you mumbled, your body curling on itself from his gaze.

“Well, I’m going to leave you two kids alone before my husband breaks something,” she said with a mysterious sparkle in her eye. As if on cue, silverware clattered onto a plate. “Oh dear,” she muttered as she sped down to the kitchen.

The two of you were left in silence.

“You look great today, Y/N.” Johnny smirking as he tilted his head towards you. Where did this confident Johnny come from?

“You too. Since when did you learn such good Korean?” you grinned, trying to lighten the mood. To be fair, Johnny only knew really basic phrases in high school and you were surprised to see unaccented Korean flow fluently from his mouth.

“Oh, I was kinda dropped into the Korea and told to swim, ha.”

“Cool.”

Another awkward silence.

“I missed you a lot, Johnny,” you whispered, foot tracing patterns into the floor.

“Me too, Y/N. I… I missed my best friend.”

You bit your lip as you opened your arms for him and he quickly wrapped his arms around your torso. Even with you standing on your toes, with his tall height he had to bend down slightly. So familiar, yet so different. Breathing in the scent of cologne and the clean linen of his shirt, you hoped he would not hear the pounding of your heart through the thin fabric of your dress.

The two of you stood there in the hallway, basking in the warmth of each other’s bodies until the noise of an iPhone shutter sounded.

Johnny lifted his head from your hair and you looked to see Mrs. Suh standing in the doorway, grinning at the screen of her iPhone which was directed at you.

“엄마 (Mom)!” he groaned, not letting go of you yet.

“I wanted to capture my two loves together, okay? Now give Y/N a pair of slippers, please,” she said, bustling off the kitchen once again.

You let go of him slowly, leaning back down onto the floor.

“You know, you look so different Johnny. I didn’t recognize you at first,” you said quietly, raising a hand to caress his jaw.

“I’ve changed a lot,” he responded, equally as soft. A grin split his face as he grabbed your hand. “You can ogle me later, let’s go before mom smacks me for not helping.”

His hand wrapped around your smaller one as he led you to the dining room table. You tried to go to the kitchen and help but used his grip to force you into a seat, citing you were a guest. You weren’t sure if he did it intentionally, but his hand stroked your arm as he let go of your hand to help in the kitchen, a caress so soft it sent shivers down your spine.

When dinner was served and everyone sat down, you could not resist hungrily scooping large portions of Mrs. Suh’s homemade kimchi-jjigae and Mr. Suh’s galbi onto your plate.

“Eat up, eat up, my love. I cooked your favorites.” Mrs. Suh smiled beside you.

You savored in the taste of her cooking as conversation languidly started, regular family chat you remembered from your many dinners here in high school. As you uncrossed your legs, you accidentally kicked Johnny’s long legs under the table. I’m so sorry, you mouthed silently. Turning back to Mrs. Suh, you couldn’t see the devious smirk crawl upon his plump lips.

You found out Mr. and Mrs. Suh were now fully retired. Mr. Suh spent his days at the Korean Golf Association, playing there and running the tournaments they hosted. Mrs. Suh was now fully committed to the church, taking on a busy schedule of events that was getting hard to manage.

Mrs. Suh was complaining about the new church moms when you quietly asked Johnny to pass the radish over, and he complied. Instead of just handing you the dish, he forked over some slices and dipped them in vinegar, just the way you like it. You grinned at him and he leaned over, then his leg brushed the smooth skin of your bare calves. Your eyes widened.

“...you would not believe how many mothers tried to get me to introduce their daughters to John-ah after I showed them a photo…”

You almost choked as his pant clad leg inserted itself between yours, the fabric of his pants tickling various spots on your legs causing every sense to be heightened. Feeling the goosebumps on your arms, you turned an accusing gaze to him but he looked nonplussed, eating his cabbage.

“...but I’ve met them already, and they’re not for Johnny, you know? They never liked Johnny in high school, so why should…”

You frantically grabbed for a glass of water as his knee brushed the inside of your thigh. A small whine left your lips as your pussy tightened, gripping the glass very tight. A drop of moisture collected in your panties, and quickly created a pool as his legs trapped yours.

“... Oh I love Mark-ah and Hyerim, but you were so good with the kids, Y/N-ah!...”

You let a curtain of hair cover your face to hide your reddening expression, breasts heaving as your breathing start to pick up. When his knee started move along the inside of your thigh, your teeth dug into your bottom lip hard enough to bleed, your remaining hand bunching up in your dress. You could see a small smirk form on Johnny’s face while he was eating and you scowled in his direction, squirming from the added moisture in your panties.

“...kids, Y/N-ah?”

You were shaken out of your daze when Mr. and Mrs. Suh looked expectantly at you.

“Sorry, auntie?”

“Do you have a husband? Or wife? How about kids— you are a born mother!”

Johnny’s foot slid to meet your ankle, forcing you to swallow hard. You hoped like hell your nipples wouldn’t peak through your dress. You already knew there was no saving your panties, shifting so your arousal wouldn’t stain your dress or the chair beneath you. You laughed awkwardly. “Ah, no, not quite. My job keeps me traveling around so much and I haven’t had time to start a family.”

“You still want one?”

Images of kids with hair like yours running around sunlit fields, a big house and a big belly, swollen with your baby flashed quickly in your head. Your smile turned sad.

“I’d love nothing more than one.”

Mrs. Suh smiled proudly, and turned to Johnny to nag him about her lack of grandkids or a daughter in law. Johnny had stopped playing footsie with you and was trying to avoid his mom’s hands grabbing at his face, but your breath still ran ragged when something occurred to you about your vision.

Those kids had the same eyes as Johnny.

(So caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Mr. Suh nudge Johnny in the arm, silently telling him to “hurry up”.)

“Y/N, I ban you from the kitchen! You are the guest,” Mrs. Suh stressed, waving you out of the question with a soapy glove.

“Absolutely not. I want to help you clean. Besides, you’re getting old, y’know?” you ribbed, pulling back your hair and grabbing a clean towel. As soon as dinner ended, you bolted out of the room into the kitchen, ignoring the stickiness between your legs.

“Aigoo! Fine, fine,” she relented, rinsing a dirty bowl.

Toweling off the glasses Mrs. Suh had recently cleaned, your gaze had wandered to Johnny’s tall figure in the dining room. As he moved about, Johnny seemed so much more comfortable in his lanky limbs, no longer the awkward kid you knew. His actions were done with surety of someone who knew of his own self-worth, sure of his abilities and flaws. Regret washed over you, mixed in with pride. You were so, so proud of the man you see before your eyes, but you desperately wished you could have been part of it.

Mrs. Suh watched you with a secret smile as your toweling slowed down.

“I know I said it before, but Johnny really missed you.”

“Huh?” you asked dumbly, taken out of your stupor.

“During the first few years after high school, I was so sure Johnny was going to break down. You two had become so busy and slowly lost contact— he didn’t know how to function without you! John-ah was like a blind man, stumbling around, aimless. But one day... it somehow all changed.”

“How?” you asked quietly.

“I found him in his room one day, one of the times he came back home. He was reading some of the Post-It notes he would randomly stick around his room, and it looked faded. I couldn’t see it, of course, but I saw John-ah slip into his pocket. The night I saw him, his eyes were bright, his shoulders, determined. His company took off right after he visited.”

Mrs. Suh stopped cleaning as she gazed at her boy, a small smile playing at her lips.

“I’m so proud of the man he has become. Yet… yet he’s told me he doesn’t feel satisfied, you know? Like there’s something empty in his chest. Like he’s looking for something but he doesn’t know what.”

Your breath caught in your throat and your heartbeat started to pound in your ears. How… how could it be so similar? How could he feel the exact same as what you do?

“Personally, I...I think he needs a family. He wants a girl he can love, and, dear god, you don’t know how much he wants kids.”

If you bit any harder, your lip would bleed onto your pretty dress.

“John-ah… you don’t see the look in his eyes when we pass by a child. He just completely stops listening to the conversation, and it’s like he can’t look away. He told me about your friend’s daughter— Callie, yes?— and then he finally realized how much he wanted kids. So, so much.”

A fine tremor wracked your hand as you put away the plates, lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t as if you were shocked, oh no. It was more the fact that you could finally see it: you and Johnny, looking into each other’s eyes, in each other’s loving embrace as your children with your hair and his eyes slept in the crib in front of you.

Distractedly, you toweled the rest of the dishes and kissed her cheek as you shuffled off to the living room.

“Y/N, dear,” she called out after you.

“Yes, Auntie?”

Her eyes suddenly seemed so old.

“You don’t know how scared he was when he thought Callie was yours.”

As promised, the next day Johnny took you out to the best coffee place in your hometown. Broken Egg Cafe was a small place squeezed in between a boutique and an alcohol store on main street, and it was as shabby as it looked on its facade. Mix and match furniture dotted the rustic food place, dim lighting providing an ambient atmosphere. The cafe was the usual haunt of the local community college kids who liked the hipster atmosphere and comfy spots. That, and it was the place where everyone knew that if you went on a date, you were seriously committed to each other.

Trying not to dwell on it, you sat patiently while scrolling through your phone. A grin lit up your face as you saw the series of photos Mrs. Suh had posted on Facebook, all of the Suh family dinner you partook in. You clicked the heart and saved all the photos, and, embarrassingly, the one where Johnny had led you to the table. You were grinning at each other, his hand resting on your shoulder, as Mr. Suh was reached for something out of frame. Quickly, a few taps had replaced the generic background of your phone with the picture.

Funnily enough, all the photos posted had included you in it. Call yourself crazy, but you expected Mrs. Suh to post a few of her and her husband, or her and her son— but no. You could even see the ones where visible sweat gleaned from your brow, shakily smiling after Johnny had played footsie under the table.

“Y/N!”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. You gave him a quick glance over and, wow, he looked devilishly handsome today. An old Ramones shirt half-tucked into skinny jeans was an interesting contrast to his usual business attire, his ratty converse slapping on the wood beams as he strode towards you.

He evidently saw your glance-over as a shit-eating grin graced his lips, and you could only ignore the heat in your cheeks then bury your head into his chest.

“Hey sweet girl, how are you?” he whispered into your ear, your shoulders tensing as a breath of hot air hit your sensitive neck.

“Well, you?” you murmured near his neck.

“Great as you can be waiting for the reunion tonight,” he snickered.

A snort passed your lips as you flopped down onto the couch, tucking your feet under you and propping your head on your palm. His lanky figure settled into the couch, limbs comfortably positioned to face you.

“I ordered your ridiculous drink, you know. Grande Chai Tea Latte, 3 Pumps, Skim Milk, Lite Water—”

“—no foam, extra hot?” you asked disbelievingly.

“Yes, your frou-frou white girl drink that’ll cause cavities,” he grumbled.

“I could kiss you, you know that?” you blurted, eyes glued to the server bringing you your drink.

He murmured something as you said your thanks to the server, grasping the cup with 2 hands.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

You rolled your eyes and knocked your knee against his. “Didn’t Auntie tell you to stop doing that?”

Soon, a light hearted conversation reminiscing about the past started up. You could both of you slip back into that easy rhythm that was your dynamic back in high school, joking and ranting to each other. You laughed about everything from the time he took up skateboarding and briefly became emo, the antics the band kids had gotten up to, and even your horrible experience with AP Calculus.

“And, oh my god, remember what Jake did at senior prom? I can’t believe he wasn’t expelled,” you said, eyes wide.

“Jake? My lord and savior, Jake?” Johnny asked, his grin widening. “Man, that was my bro. Swag brothers forever.”

“Johnny, he put smuggled in a chicken. To this day I don’t how he did that!”

“Secret.” He put a finger over his lips. “But, I will tell you I had to distract to Prom Committee by B-Boying.”

You shook your head, hiding a smile. “Prom was so fun, wasn’t it? The theme was great that year, they ordered great food—”

“—You went with me, duh—”

“—and I didn’t trip over my dress! You were an okay date for prom.”

Johnny gasped loudly, and laid a hand over his hard, clearly offended. “Excuse me? I clearly remember you made me trip during the last dance! Here I was, being a great date, leading us through the dance, and you placed a wrong foot forward. You!”

You scoffed, crossing your arms. “That was only because you–” you pressed a finger into his hard chest “–were too close.”

“Can you blame me?” he breathed.

It was in that moment you realized how close you were to him. Somehow, throughout the course of the conversation, you both had scooted closer to each other on the couch and ended up with both your legs tangled together.

“W-what are you talking about, Youngho?”

He sighed, his hands unconsciously seeking out yours. “Y/N, can I be honest?”

“Of course you can, you can always be with me,” you reassured, still confused as hell.

A soft smile came to his face. “I...  the day at the cafe. I was never in town to meet with my old investor. I came here, back to town and this reunion, in hopes of seeing my beautiful best friend.”

“I–”

“Hold on, let me… let me tell you what’s been on my mind.”

His thumb started stroking hands, your mind briefly registering the large difference in size before freaking out at how close he was to you.

“In high school, you were my only good friend. My pillar, my rock, the only one who held my hand before I became...me. From freshman to senior year, you enchanted me and I could only helplessly fall into you, like a singularity Mrs. Kee harped on about in Physics,” he chuckled.

“Sometimes, I would look at you and think, why me? You could have befriended every other boy, but no. It was me. Even when everyone made fun of me and rejected me, it was always me. And god, prom.”

“I was so damn close to telling you how I felt that night, dancing with you for the last song. I mentally prepared myself and everything, I needed to tell you before we graduated, and I opened my mouth and then it hit me: you deserve someone so much better. You had your whole life in front of you, and why should dorky ol’ me hold you back? I didn’t tell you, and I...I don’t regret it.”

Pain rippled over his face then he composed himself, his stare burning into yours.

“I was so lost without you for years. How could I be with you when I didn’t even know where I was going? But that one day… I decided I was going to find myself. Moved to Korea, started a company… you know the rest. I became the best I could be.”

Tears started to well up at the edges of your eyes, and as your lips quivered you brought a soft hand to cheek. You didn’t know his insecurity ran that deep; you thought those little self-deprecating jokes were just that–jokes. What kind of best friend were you that you let him think so badly of himself, from high school and the years that followed?

He leaned into your touch, and the tension evaporated from his broad shoulders.

“10 years later, and I think that maybe, maybe I’m good enough for myself– good enough for you. So I sign myself up for this stupid little reunion, fly back home, yet in that little cafe I was so unprepared to see you.”

His lips brushed over your palm, like the brush of silk, and then he leaned back.

“When I saw you that day, it felt like a dream. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing you for real and when I knew, I was so fucking happy. And, like a cruel imitation of prom, something held me back.”

“I didn’t realize that maybe you moved on without me, maybe you had a family and a new best friend. I felt so stupid at the time, seeing you look so beautiful, thinking I could just waltz back in we could pick up where we left off. It’s no excuse, but it’s why I lied and was a complete asshole towards you. I was so disappointed in myself.”

You couldn’t hear anything around you, see anything around you, and was engulfed by the vision of your best friend looking at you like a prayer.

“What do you feel now, Youngho?” you whispered.

“I will always see you as my everything.”

His lips brushed against your forehead and he walked out before you could process anything.

“Thanks!” Cynthia calls out as she exits the Uber Black XL. You give a wan smile to the driver as you carefully step out onto the pavement.

The golden sign of the Langham shone bright against the rapidly darkening Chicago skyline, reflecting off the mirror-like glass. Perhaps it was the fact that you were a New Yorker, or the fact you were shivering and it wasn’t because of the cold, but you could not concentrate on the sight at all.

“Isn’t this place gorgeous? The girls and I worked hard to get a banquet hall here, like, hard. Who cares about the thirty minute drive when you can get a place like this?” your friend calls out excitedly, sweeping an arm to emphasize to view.

“You did well for yourselves this time. I bet the committee for the class before ours is steaming,” you shakily joked. Well, not quite. As said before, school reunions were huge for your school, each class trying to outdo each other at every turn, from the venue to the catering and more. Your class must be feeling quite proud right now.

“I bet this is so-so for you, city girl,” she ribbed. A yelp escaped your lips, accusingly looking towards her as you rubbed the spot where she elbowed you. “Oh shut up, PTA mom.”

No matter how much you liked to tease her, Cynthia looked the opposite of a PTA mom tonight. Her cocktail attire hugged her post-pregnancy curves, but, looking at her now, she looked like a mix of her youthful party persona with worldly maturity. She definitely would be turning a few heads tonight.

“C’mon, city girl, let’s go. I need to see if everything is perfect!” 

Your 10-year high school reunion was held in a ballroom 2 stories above the street, sumptuous in its decoration and looking more like a corporate dinner than anything else. Dozens of circular tables dotted the floor of the room, each set in the green and gold of your high school colors. A particularly large “Go Spartans! Class of 2XXX” sign was posted right outside the door, attracting people to sign their names onto the banner with a flourish. While you and Cynthia were on time, many people had shown up and milled about the room.

“Oh my god, there’s our val! Let’s see if she’s something cool or just peaked in high school,” Cynthia whispered conspiratorially, dragging your unsure figure towards the crowd.

You tried your best to greet everybody in the large ballroom, but a certain man was still lingering at the forefront of your mind. Every few seconds, you would catch yourself glancing around nervously, especially towards the large double doors that heralded anyone’s arrival. Eventually, when you caught yourself gravitating closer to the entrance, you knew you were being ridiculous.

An expensive-sounding roar sounded outside the building, and a collective head turn had the crowd’s eyes riveted on a white car in the valet lane of the hotel. You didn’t know much about cars, but even looking at it 2 stories up, it looked like something out of a movie. Male murmurs of appreciation were heard as the butterfly doors of the car opened up, even bystanders stopping and staring. You felt a sinking feeling at the bottom of your stomach as a good-looking man in a grey suit stepped out, his black wavy hair visible from a distance.

God, how were you even supposed to talk to Johnny? Somehow, telling him “I’ve secretly pined over you for years and would like to have your babies” didn’t quite do it for you.

“Y/N? Oh my gosh!”

Not this shit again.

Repressing an oncoming headache, you plastered your best fake smile that you put on especially for disagreeable clients and turned towards the snooty, entitled voice that was so familiar.

“Victoria! Wonderful to see you again,” you simpered. Goodness, you could see her fake tan glowing radioactively in the dim light.

“Oh, come here! It’s great to see you here, don’t you look just fab.” Victoria threw her arms out, as if you two were the best of friends, and you stepped into a polite embrace. Granted, now you could see her typical Brooks Brother dress was well-fitted, but screamed “country-club mom!” in your face.

“You’ve got to meet my husband. James, come here!”

A well-built man in a tailored navy suit lumbered towards her, two champagne flutes in his hands. Gazing at his chiseled features and neat blond hair, you could admit Victoria had caught quite the catch.

“Victoria,” he murmured, handing a glass to her. He caught sight of you, his eyes roving predatorily over your body that made you shiver in a not-so-nice way. 

“Sweetheart, would you care to introduce me to your friend?” he said, not taking his eyes off of you.

She clearly noticed the way he was speaking to you, her lined eyes narrowing and her lips curling into a snarl.

“Husband, this is Y/N, an acquaintance of mine. We didn’t hang out with the same crowd, she preferred those geeky types,” Victoria emphasized, making it clear that you were undesirable.

He hummed while still looking at your legs and you could spot the signs of a dysfunctional marriage right away. You saw it in the men you worked with, obviously bored with a taste for female coworkers, even though his wedding band shone bright on his left hand. You sort of felt bad for her, no matter how much of a bitch she was to you.

“Anyways, I saw you were looking for someone. Did you bring any hot hubby?” she giggled a bit too brightly.

You smiled tightly. She was clearly trying to humiliate you, but once her dear husband found out you were single, you wouldn’t be surprised if you found yourself cornered in a hallway. “Not today, Vicky,” you said, knowing it would irritate the hell out of her. Victoria hated the nickname ‘Vicky’, claiming it sounded too country-bumpkin for her tastes.

“That’s right! You’re single, with your fancy office job and all–”

“Y/N, I was looking for you.”

It felt like your senses were on superdrive, hyper-alert of the man standing behind you.

You really weren’t prepared for this. You really, really weren’t. You hadn’t had any time to mentally or emotionally prepare for when you spoke to Johnny the next time you saw him, cowardly languishing in a pool of anxiety and insecurity.

Well, you were L/N Y/N. Hired straight out of college for J.P. Morgan. You were promoted and trusted because you could handle high pressure situations like this. So, you put on your big girl face and turned to see Johnny.

His smirking lips were the first thing you saw, and then his eyes, wolfish and sharp. Johnny was indeed the man in the grey suit with the fancy car, and you could see the way this particular get-up highlighted his lean figure.

“Johnny, hey,” you smiled softly, though you were sure there was a nervous lilt to your voice. Evidently, he caught on as his smirk widened and he stepped closer to you. The whiplash was real. One moment he was a lovestruck boy confessing to you in a coffee shop and the next he was a smooth-tongued man that made your knees weak.

“Johnny Suh? Mister Johnny Suh?”

The pair of you looked towards Victoria’s husband, whom looked awe-struck.

“Yes?” Johnny asked, eyes settling on the man in front of him.

There was no masculine size-up moment you’ve always seen in Wall street meetings, but James postured and simpered his way to Johnny.

“It’s great to meet you! I’m James Bouchard, a financial analyst. I worked with Banksy’s finance department before on the 2015 Orchard project.”

A charming smile made its way onto Johnny’s face, the perfect picture of a suave businessman. As great as it was looking at Johnny in his natural element, it was infinitely more amusing to watch the changing moods on Victoria’s countenance. Currently, she was stuck on shock as she learned more about the boy she shunned.

“Is Ms. Y/N your lovely wife? My wife just introduced me to her, you caught a great one,” he winked, trying to flatter Johnny’s ego. 

Your best friend (crush? Classmate? Acquaintance?) merely chuckled and snaked an arm around your waist. He looked down at you with undisguised admiration, making you blush and look away. “I’d say she was the one that caught me, since we’ve been best friends since high school. Although, your wife didn’t quite seem to like me in high school. Pity.” Unable to resist, you looked sharply up at him. Since when were you his wife? Well, not that you’d protest, but these kinds of decisions require two consenting adults!

James looked down on his wife with malice in his eyes for potentially ruining a lucrative connection that she didn’t even know would exist. Victoria looked deeply embarrassed.

“Well, it was great seeing both of you! C’mon, James, dear, the food looks lovely,” she said brightly, beating out a hasty retreat with James angrily striding behind.

Sitting in silence for a few moments, you finally raised an eyebrow, a common signal that you used to ask him to ‘explain’. He opened his mouth, but a shout of his name had both of you turning towards the origin. Johnny rolled his eyes, and went to speak to you again but louder, greater shouts interrupted him.

“Look, baby, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” he ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated at the interruption.

“Go to your swag bros, Johnny. I think they miss you,” you said drily as they began clanging glasses.

“You’re the best,” he kissed your forehead hurriedly. 

“Ooh-la-la, what was that about?” Cynthia sauntered up beside you, looking in the direction of the tall man.

“It was nothing, Cynthia.”

“Nothing? Johnny-with-the-great-biceps called you ‘baby’ and kissed you on the forehead, I don’t think that’s nothing.”

“Cynthia, I…” you bit your lip, discomfited.

Her eyes softened, seeing the deeply troubled set to your face.

“Let’s go to somewhere else.”

“—and now I don’t know what to do!”

Cynthia nodded mutely after hearing you explain the past days’ goings on, from the cafe to the walk and even to the dinner. She was uncharacteristically staying silent, soaking in the information as you recounted the tale.

She looked contemplative for a few moments, before her eyes sought yours. “You want to know what I think?”

“Aren’t you here for that?” you snapped.

She looked you dead in the eye. “You’re being an absolute idiot right now.”

You spluttered for a few seconds. “Uh- what? Hold on, Cynthia—”

“He’s deeply in love with you, and from what I’ve heard you sound like you feel the same. It’s that simple.”

“I-I—”

“Tell me right now, what would happen if he got married right now to someone that wasn’t you?”

“I would die before that would happen!” you snarled. Going back, you realized what you said and quickly deflated. “Well, I… I would be deeply devastated. God, Cynthia, from the time in school to now, I realized I love him. He’s my best friend, my pillar, my rock. He’s been there for me so many times I can’t even count it all.”

“And then it gets even worse knowing that he wants a family too. I don’t know if you know Cynthia, but I’m so lonely up in the big bright lights of New York. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve considered adopting and artificial insemination, even gone to an IVF clinic. But it won’t be the same, because I want a family and my belly round and my kids playing in the backyard, and it scares me that I can see it all with him.”

You sighed glumly. “I should’ve just confessed to him at prom.”

Cynthia smiled sympathetically. “Why don’t you just tell him what you told me?”

“She just did.”

You both started violently, and saw a large shadow blocking the doorway.

Johnny.

Your girl best friend snorted and quickly exited, patting Johnny’s back on her way out.

“Johnny! You scared the hell out of me!” you scolded, your hand on your rapidly rising chest.

A deep laugh rumbled from his chest as he took a seat next to you.

“Do you have something to tell me, baby?”

Heat rose to your cheeks. “Yes.”

“Go on, sweet cheeks. I won’t judge.”

However, his smug grin of a man knowing what’s about to come told you otherwise.

“Johnny!” you whined, flinging a throw pillow at him.

He ducked and snickered. “Fine, fine, I’ll stop.”

You settled down and hugged yourself. “This may not be as long as what you said in the coffee shop, but Johnny… I’ve loved you since freshman year. I’ve loved you in every year after that, even when we got separated for almost a decade. I didn’t realize what I was missing in my life was you, that my life wasn’t right without my best friend by my side. When I came back home I wasn’t expecting anything, but I think an unconscious part of me hoped to see you. Everything I said with Cynthia is true and I—stop staring at me!’’

“I can’t, you’re too beautiful,” he deadpanned, but you saw the mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

“Just kiss me you– you tub of lard!” 

Johnny effortlessly pulled you into his lap to straddle, arms snaking around your hips as he placed his lips onto yours.

All the tension immediately evaporated from your body, as your limbs felt like liquid in his arms. His tongue swiped against the bottom of your lips, and you found a shred of will inside of you and playfully resisted. He squeezed your side, the sensitive bit right under your breasts, and your lips parted automatically as you moaned.

You felt shivers wherever he touched you, but felt it was unfair he was giving and not receiving. Your nails combed through his hair, found a section of hair, tugged sharply.

He growled into the kiss and you felt his hard erection through his dress pants, poking at your inner thigh.

“Still think I’m a tub of lard?” he whispered at the corner of your mouth, flexing his thick thighs underneath you and pulling you closer to his rock-hard chest.

“Mmph, no, Johnny.”

His smoky eyes looked into yours. “Also, don’t, Y/N.”

“...what?” you said confusedly as you calmed down. Did you do something wrong?

“Don’t try to have kids through those… those methods.”

“Do you mean IVF? Artificial insemination?”

A nod.

A frown pulled at your lips and you leaned back unconsciously. “Johnny, don’t you understand? I want my own children so badly I can barely think, okay? I never thought I’d want to have one a few years ago, but call it mother’s instincts— “

“When you have a child, it’s going to be mine. You’re gonna have one the proper way—by me throughly fucking a baby into your cunt,” he hissed through his teeth, right into your ear.

Goosebumps rose along your skin and you clenched his shoulders harder as he suckled kisses along the side of your neck. With some, he even added little presses of the tongue, making you clench your legs around his torso tighter.

“My baby likes dirty talk, doesn’t she? Just like she liked my little game of footsie,” he laughed, puffs of air blooming on your sensitive skin.

“Johnny,” you weakly reprimanded. You then noticed the hands that were clasped at your knees, rubbing the sweet spot underneath, and felt a moisture pool in your lacy thong.

“So, whaddya say? You say yes and I drive to my apartment and fuck you until your stomach swells with my children, or I do it regardless of where we are.”

You finally realize you are heavily making out in a side hallway where someone could see you easily. While the idea was tempting, if not a bit hot, you visualize your naked bodies writhing as he slides in and out of you—

“Yes, please, Johnny, please.”

The ride to his apartment was surprisingly comfortable. After hastily leaving the party, you two hopped into his butterfly sports car and roared down the avenue.

Don’t get it wrong, the sexual tension was there and as present as ever, but it wasn’t awkward in the slightest. You folded your legs up to the side and leaned towards him, his right hand softly stroking your knee while he zoomed down the streets of Chicago.

An elevator ride later, you were admiring the night Chicago skyline from Johnny’s bedroom window as he pressed kisses onto your shoulders.

“Youngho,” you sighed, leaning into him.

He hummed and nipped lightly at your neck.

“C’mon babe, undress for me.”

He sauntered back to the bed as you fumbled with the pins in your hair, shaking your hair loose of the tight up-do it had been in.

You looked back to see Johnny at the edge of the bed, his legs spread wide and leaning back with an arm.

“I haven’t done this in a long time, so I’m probably going to disappoint you,” you warned as you set down the pins with a clink.

“Indulge me. I’ve been fantasizing about this moment since Junior year,” he smirked lazily.

You cast a doubtful look towards him, but obliged nonetheless.

Starting with your jewelry, you unclasped your necklace, earrings, and watch and carefully set them on the counter. Your heels were kicked off to the side, and that was left was your dress. You breathed in deeply and released, methodically unbuttoning your dress until it fell with a soft whisper on the floor.

You looked through your curtain of hair to gauge his reaction and Johnny looked dazed, his eyes slightly glassy with his mouth slightly parted.

“Youngho?”

“C’mere.”

You was sure your gait resembled a newborn foal rather than some sultry vixen, but Johnny did not seem to care. He pulled you into his lap once again, but this time sideways.

His kisses trailed innocently at the top of your bra and you find yourself impatient. “I thought you were going to fuck my cunt?” you pronounced succinctly.

Johnny’s teeth bit harshly at the tops of your breasts, eliciting a harsh hiss from you. “Now you’ve done it, baby.”

You giggled as he practically threw you onto the bed, a male moan of appreciation slipping from his lips when he saw you splayed out for him. He ducked in to steal a kiss, supporting himself with his toned arms and you grasped the back of his head.

Johnny licked a long stripe on your clavicle as you gave a sharp tug on the knot of his tie. Removing the black tie, your fingers quickly got to work unbuttoning his shirt. He got on his knees to tug it off in one glorious motion, exposing his well-built chest to your hungry eyes.

It was surreal to see this Johnny kneeling before you, topless and licking his lips, and it was hard to find any trace of the boy in Naruto pajamas everywhere.

“Get up for me baby, scoot up a bit,” he urged.

As you obeyed, you took the chance to slip off your bra. Heat rose to stay permanently on your cheeks as you unclasped it and shrugged it off. You nipples quickly stiffened to the air and Johnny looked absolutely delighted.

Your eyes tracked him as he leaned forward and carefully weighed one in his large hands. His thumb brushed the soft underside of your breast and your shoulders quivered like a leaf in the wind.

“All for me to play with?” he said under his breath, looking entranced by the pliant flesh in his hands.

Getting between your legs, his tongue laved at the skin of your breasts, “accidental” licks getting you to squirm. Johnny’s plump lips continued their trail to your stomach and finally kissed the edges of your thong.

“May I?” he asked formally, raising his gleaming eyes to yours.

You nodded and his nimble fingers dragged your panties down, forcing you to brace your calves against his shoulders. He tossed them carefully to the vanity before lowering himself to eye level with your pussy.

“My pretty baby has such a pretty pussy, doesn’t she?” he cooed, thumbs rubbing the crux of your thighs.

Whining in agreement, you opened your legs wider for his perusal and looked away in embarrassment.

Johnny tsked and forced your chin to look at down at him. “Look at me.”

He wouldn’t let go until you leaned your head into his palm. He held eye contact with you as he slowly pressed his lips against your labia, your eyes widening and mewl escaping your lips.

You slammed your hand against your mouth as he began exploring, curling into the pillow and looking heavenward. His tongue peaked out and caressed the hood of your clit, beckoning for it to come. You muffled a scream when he used his tongue more liberally, reaching deeper and curling into the walls of your pussy. Your hips lifted off the mattress as you writhed underneath his torturous tongue until Johnny’s hands clamped down and forced your limbs onto the bed.

He was truly gifted at this, easily finding the spots that made you squirm. It felt like hours passed as he used his flexible tongue on you, playing you easily, and you slipped in and out of reality. But then he suckled, and you lost it.

Your limbs flailed as you wailed, suffocated with a blanket of pleasure. You had no idea what to do with your hands, switching places from tugging at your hair to squeezing your arms and even grasping Johnny’s thick locks until you settled for grasped the edges of the pillow next to you.

“No! Johnny, I- I can’t— oh my god—Agh!”

He shushed you quickly, murmuring “you can take it” against your thighs. You felt the pressure inside your stomach build, holding your breath as it inched closer and closer to that edge. Johnny finally pressed his thumb against your clit and you let out a full-throated scream, succumbing to the wave of pleasure dragging you under. Your knees knocked together painfully and you slid further down the mattress, pussy gushing out underneath you.

But no; he cruelly drew it out, kept on rubbing circles into your sensitive flesh until your eyes rolled to the back of your head and were unable to speak.

A few breathless moments passed and he broke the silence. “Not only are my oral skills great, but my oral skills are too” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes, before yelping as one of the aftershocks wracked your limbs.

Johnny merely chuckled before flipping you onto your stomach, face down on the mattress. Peeking over your shoulder, you glimpsed Johnny tugging off his pants and boxers until his hard erection stood proud, springing back and forth in the air. You gulped; it was a beautiful pink, veiny as hell, topped with a mushroom tip oozing out pre cum. Most importantly, it was huge —you had no idea he was packing that underneath his gym shorts— and looked to be the girth of your wrist.

“Johnny, i-is it gonna fit?” you stuttered nervously.

He smiled proudly at you, his hand stroking his cock up and down. “You have one tight pussy, love, but I’ve prepped you a lot and we’ll make it work. Don’t worry, okay?”

With that he forced your head against the sheets, taking away your vision completely. You felt extremely vulnerable with your butt raised high up in the air, but Johnny quickly grasped your hips and rubbed his cock against the seam of your pussy lips, lathering it in your cum.

“Tell me, baby, how much do you want this?”

“So much!” you murmured into the mattress.

He thrust his hips just a bit and his tip quickly slid in and out of you. “What was that?”

“Johnny, please! I want it so much!” you moaned into the mattress.

“Say it. I want to hear filth from your pretty lips,” he hissed, sounding impatient. He certainly felt impatient, his hands gripping your hips so hard they would surely bruise and his erection throbbing against your quim.

“I want you to fuck me raw with your huge cock! I want your cum leaking from my pussy—please, Johnny, please! Fuck me!” you cried.

“My dirty girl,” he purred. HIs lined his cock up with your entrance and slowly sank in, both of you groaning reactively. His dick stretched you and it toed the line between pain and pleasure but, nevertheless, you sunk your hips into his.

“Not— not too fast, Youngho. You’re really, really big,” you whimpered. He waited for a while before leisurely thrusting in and then picking up pace.

“Oh fuck, Youngho, just like that,” you moaned. He also let out strangled groans of pleasure, echoing in his large bedroom. Crude slaps of flesh against flesh reverberated in your ears, puncturing the sound of blood roaring in your veins. His testes smacked periodically against your clit and you could not stop the indecent noises coming from your mouth.

“Good?” he grunted, his sweaty black bangs sticking to his forehead as he thrust. You could imagine his chest gleaming with sweat from the city lights and the image made you wetter, if possible.

A particularly sharp thrust jolted your hips, and kept his hips flush against yours with his cock in you. “I said, good?”

“Fuck, I like it—it’s so good— and, oh my gosh, I love it, I love it, I love it—” you rambled incoherently.

He snorted and pulled out.

“Youngho, don’t stop—”

“Get on your back, baby. Let me see you.”

With great effort, you rolled over and your vision of him did no justice. He looked ethereal, gleaming in his sweat. Shadows played across his body as his muscles flexed and contracted and you were breathless.

“I’m gonna fuck a baby into you, Y/N.”

A terrible mixture of excitement and arousal arose from you. The idea of him fucking you full of his come and looking down at your round belly was almost too much. You whined up at him, wiggling your hips.

He tsked in disapproval. “Nuh-uh, legs up, sweetheart. Missionary is the best way to get you pregnant.”

You truly were worried that your arousal would leak down your legs as you lifted your limbs up to his broad shoulders. He firmly grasped the sides of your stomach and pulled you closer to him.

As you were watching him with a sort of breathless excitement, he was glued to the sight of his cock sinking into your pussy, bewitched by the way your folds parted for his cock like the blooming of a flower. Johnny quickly put a hand over the lower half of your stomach, thrusting robustly upwards and while you screamed, he wore a shit-eating grin on his face.

“W-What is it, Johnny?” you breathed harshly.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he groaned loudly as he thrust once more. “F-feel this, baby.”

He put your hand where his had previously been and thrust upwards. Your lips parted in wonder when you felt a small bulge form underneath your hand. His cock was that big?

“Holy—Agh!— shit,” you pant.

His eyes flared with lust as he rammed his cock in again, just to see that little bump appear, and did so again and again until you heard his fancy bed frame start to creak.

This position was by far the best, even if it was good ol’ missionary. The slight curve to his cock caused the head to press deliciously into the walls of your pussy, and you felt him much closer than ever before.

You could spot his thick, muscled thighs ripple with the effort he was putting into fucking you and gripped the sheets much harder. Noises of content, ‘yes’s’ and ‘fuck’s!’ spat out with increasing frequency, permeated the air thick of the scent of sex and sweat.

He slipped your legs off his shoulders and around his waist before supporting himself above you with his veiny forearms. “Homestretch, baby.”

You were cut off from snorting as you screamed, his cock ramming into your hips. In-and-out, the delicious stretch repeating over and over again until you felt a familiar haze spread over you.

“I’m going to stuff you full of cum, Y/N. I’m going to knock you up with the baby you so desperately want, right? A baby with my eyes and your hair?” he growled.

You heart skipped a beat. How did he know what you saw?

“Mmm! Yes, yes! I’ll be barefoot and pregnant for you!”

“Your pussy takes my cock so well, baby, so well, you don’t even know. Fuck, I’m just imagining my cum on your pretty pink pussy lips.”

He went in so deep, until you felt his balls pressing into your ass and the tip of his cock pressing into your womb.You felt so filled, physically and emotionally, as you basked in the man thrusting into you like a piston.

The same in-and-out of reality experience occurred and you found your eyes rolling back into your head, not registering anything else. You felt like you were sinking in molasses, pleasure and bliss cocooning you tight and secure. The familiar wave was starting to build up again.

You came back to your senses as his hand drifted in between you and hovered near the crux of your thighs. In concurrence with his solid thrusting, his thumb began harshly rubbing circles into your clit, zings of delight firing over your whole body.

“Cum, baby, I know you want to. I can feel your tight pussy fluttering all over my cock,” he grunted.

His cock hit your cervix and your hands made vicious marks against his back as you wailed loudly in pleasure. The wave had crested but Johnny had not stopped whatsoever. Your best friend was still in desperate search for his peak that he thrust even faster, overstimulating you so much you inadvertently thrashed to get away from him.

A choked cry left your lips as he ruthlessly pulled your hips back and inserted his cock again, this time slamming into you with a force caused loud creaks from the bed frame.

“You don’t get to stop until there’s a goddamn baby in you. God, I’m going to cum so fucking hard.”

“Fill me up, Johnny.” you goaded. “Make me yours forever. Put a fucking baby in my belly.”

“Shit!” he hissed out.

You felt the spurts of his come from the tip and you wrapped yourself around him tighter as he let out a strangled moan, burying his face into the crook of your neck. Biting the spot between your collarbone and your neck, Johnny added to the collection of red and purple you were sure was already there. He gave little staccato thrusts as you felt more and more cum fill up your pussy, until an obscene squelching sound was heard as he was moving in and out of you.

He panted for a few moments, kneeling back onto the bed and spreading your legs wide. You attempted to cover your seeping pussy but he brushed your hand aside and focused on the small stream of white leaking.

“You look gorgeous like that, Y/N. Tired and sated with my cum leaking out of you.”

You scooped up some of the excess and brought it to your lips, sucking his salty cum off of your fingers one by one. You raised an eyebrow.

He groaned and wrapped you into his side, as if asking the universe “What am I going to do with her?”. You smiled snuggled into his side, happy that you finally weren’t alone anymore.

“Johnny... I’m ovulating today. There is a huge, huge chance of me getting pregnant. D-do you really, really want to this baby? Do you really… do you really want a family? With me?” you whispered.

“Let me show you something.” He climbed out of bed, naked as the day he was born, and returned to the room a navy suit jacket when you saw him at the cafe. He pulled out one of the heart-shaped pink Post-It notes you gave to him ironically during sophomore year and handed it to you.

On the paper, it had a date and some scribbled words.

11/4/2XXX

I’m going to marry Y/N.

“I wrote that in 10th grade,” he murmured beside you. “I’m more confident in myself that I can owe up to those words. I feel like… like I’m worthy of you now.”

“Oh, Youngho,” you sighed, thumb stroking his plump lips. You kissed them and smiled up at the man who was your best friend, your lover—the man you wanted to marry and have kids with. How could you ever repay him for making you feel whole again?  “I accept the you from then and the you now. Whatever you are and wherever you are, you are always worthy of love.”

Please don’t forget to like, comment and reblog! I would also really appreciate that if you liked my work enough, that you would consider supporting me by buying me a kofi at ko-fi.com/caiuscassiuss. Thank you so much for reading!

#neowritingsnet #nctwriters #nct smut #nct johnny #johnny x reader #johnny smut #nct fluff #nct fics #nct johnny smut #nct x reader #taeyong #yuta #jaehyun #winwin #doyoung #nct 127 smut #taeil #kpop smut #kpop fic #seo youngho #nct 127 johnny #impreg kink #kpop fics #johnny imagine

[mrsluttystark]

Repeat After Me Part 2

Part 1 

You guys have no idea how much it meant to me that part 1 was so well received. Thank you from the bottom of my little starker heart! 

Tags: nff, age difference, former teacher/student, mention of daddy kink, mention of choking

Word count: 3.1k

Read below the cut

Peter wakes up five minutes before his alarm, like he always does.  He absolutely hates the shrill screech of it.  His bed creaks and groans as he sits up and swings his legs over the side.  Suddenly, the springs that had previously been holding him up collapse under him, making him yelp in surprise.  Peter made a mental note that maybe it was time for a new bed, he’d been holding on to the rickety twin mattress he had all his childhood since it was the only thing he had left from May’s.

He usually went into the lab on Saturdays, even though he was supposed to be off during the weekend.  It’s not like he has plans or anything, but he guesses he could shift his schedule around a little to go mattress shopping.

His arm darts out like clockwork and taps his screen to turn the alarm off before his phone could utter the first mind melting ring. Peter runs a hand through his hair to brush some stray curls out of his face and stretches before getting out of bed to do his morning routine.

It’s not until Peter sits down at his two-seater dining table with a bowl of captain crunch berries, two pieces of toast, and a cup of earl gray tea, does he finally check his phone.  

The spoon is barely out of his mouth when he sees the notifications.  Eyes wide, he chokes on the cereal trying to force its half chewed self down his throat.  He can taste the oat milk is his nose and it is not good. 

Mr. Stark accepted his friend request and messaged him?  Peter looked around his apartment, skeptical.  Was he dreaming? Was this one of those life-like dreams where he gets ready for the day then wakes up and has to do it all over again?  He looked down at his arm, should he pinch himself? No, Peter, that’s stupid.

He shook his head and looked at his phone again, opening the Messenger app.

Hey, Kid.

Shit, he was toast.  Collecting himself, Peter took a deep breath to prepare himself for a conversation with his former high school teacher (that he may or may not want to fuck him senseless and cuddle afterward). He racked his brain thinking about how to approach this.  Should he be bold? 

Hi, Daddy. Please cum down my throat? Yeah...that might be too bold.

Hello, Mr. Stark.  I humbly thank you for accepting my friend request.  Ugh, too weird.

He’s overthinking it, he knows. Peter types out and deletes maybe five more messages before he finally settles on:

09:10 am 

Hi, Mr. Stark.  It’s Peter.

09:11 am

Parker.

Peter threw his phone down on the table and put his head in his hands, bowl of cereal soggy and forgotten. He made a face at it and pushed the bowl away, pulling his toast closer.  He took bites of a slice distractedly and washed it down with some tea.  He’d regret not eating a proper breakfast later, but right now his appetite was replaced with a turning feeling that he couldn’t quite place.  His phone vibrates on the table, startling him from his thoughts.

From Tony Stark 09:22 am

Yeah, Peter.  I did read your name on your profile.

09:23 am

Right. Sorry.

From Tony Stark 09:23 am

Don’t worry about it, Kid. Just pokin’ fun.

09:24 am

(sweating emoji)

Thanks for accepting my friend request btw, Mr. Stark.

From Tony Stark 09:26 am

No big deal, thanks for the request, it’s been a while.

And Tony is fine, you’re not my student anymore, Pete.

09:26 am

Yeah, okay. Tony. I can do that

So you remember me?

From Tony Stark 09:27 am

I remember all my students

09:27 am

Really???

From Tony Stark 09:28 am

No, not really lol

But I do remember you, you were a lot skinnier back then.

09:30 am

(eye roll emoji) And you were a lot younger 

From Tony Stark 09:31 am

Ouch, that was uncalled for

09:32 am

You asked for it

So what have you been up to?

From Tony Stark 09:34 am

I’m a mechanical engineer now, quit teaching a few years ago. What about you?

09:35 am

That’s awesome! You were way too smart to be a teacher.

I’m a research chemist

From Tony Stark 09:38 am

Thanks, kid.

That’s about where I’d thought you’d end up, as smart as you are.

09:40 am

Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Stark

Tony*

Sorry.

From Tony Stark 09:40 am

Everywhere?

09:41 am

Everywhere.

From Tony Stark 09:50 am

Say, Pete. I don’t actually have a habit of checking this app and I’m about to head out of the house for the day.  I’d like to continue this conversation, so here’s my number if you wanna text me [hidden contact information].

No pressure of course.

From Tony Stark 09:53 am

Peter?

New Message

To: Tony

You know who I am.

From: Tony

Had me there for a second kid. 

I’m about to drive, I’ll text you in a bit.

Peter put his phone down for the first time in almost an hour, eyes straining to refocus after staring at his screen intensely for so long.  His heart was pounding in his chest and his cheeks were starting to ache from smiling.  Had that really happened? Peter brought a hand up to rub at his jaw, still in a daze.  He was finding it very hard to believe that this wasn’t some elaborate dream because there is absolutely no way that this could’ve happened in real life.  Talk about a glitch in the simulation.

He really got Tony Stark’s phone number, and he didn’t even have to ask for it!

Peter scoffed in disbelief, no fucking way! He opened the Facebook app again and went to Tony’s profile.  Turns out there wasn’t much else on it, he had a total of 3 profile pictures and less than 100 friends, none of which were other students and only a few midtown teachers.  So, he either was a very private person or he didn’t use Facebook at all.  And if it was the latter (or both for that matter), why did he accept Peter’s friend request in the first place?

Peter decided not to think about it right now.

He went to his profile pictures and glanced at the current one he already studied last night.  The previous one was just the Guns N’ Roses album cover for Appetite for Destruction.  Classic Rock fan, noted.  His first profile picture, though, was an absolute masterpiece.  Tony looked to be on a beach somewhere, his hair was wet and messy from the clear blue salt water.  Peter wanted to run his tongue over every inch of the olive toned skin exposed to the sun.  His smile was radiant, framed by neatly trimmed facial hair, with thick, dark eyebrows peeking over his sunglasses.  Swung low on his hips right below a toned stomach were hot rod red swim shorts that stopped in the middle of his thigh, showing off his tan legs dusted with dark hair.

Peter tried not to look, he really did, but he could not stop his eyes from landing on the older man’s crotch.  And he was not disappointed.  There, curving onto his thigh, was a long, thick unmistakable dick print.  Peter’s mouth watered at the sight as his own cock stirred with interest.

Fuck. He wondered how big he really was in person.  How far he could take it down his throat.  He wanted to know how it would feel to be stretched and filled by Tony’s cock.

Scooting his chair back abruptly, Peter shot up off of it.  His hard-on tenting almost painfully in his pajama pants and it was starting to create a wet spot.  Mattress shopping can wait, Peter needed to cum, like, yesterday.

He rushes to his room and yanks the drawer of his night stand open, revealing a wooden box.  Peter unlatches the box and grabs a bottle of lube and his veiny lifelike vibrating dildo with a suction cup right behind the silicone balls from his small collection.  This one was by far his favorite, it’s eight inches long and he loved feeling the veins and the girth of it filling him up. 

Peter lays a towel down on his bed and climbs to the middle, carefully avoiding the new dent in the mattress. He bunches up the pillows behind his back so he’s laying at an incline, then starts rubbing himself over his pajama pants while he uncaps the lube and squeezes some onto his fingertips. Clumsily, he pulls and shimmies his pants down his hips with his left hand, breath hitching when his heated erection makes contact with the cool air in his apartment.  It lands with a light smack against his abs and Peter tugs his shirt up and under his chin.  Kicking his pants off his bed, Peter spreads his legs.  He can feel his hole puckering in anticipation of being used.

His left hand begins lightly skimming his torso, feeling his abs contract under his finger tips.  Bringing them higher, he rubs across his chest, pinching his nipples softly.  Peter rubs the lube between his thumb and forefinger to warm it up, then starts rubbing the tight ring of muscle in circles, making his cock jump.

Once he’s coated, he sinks a finger in slowly to coax himself open.  His left hand continues caressing his body, skirting across the area right above his cock.  Peter lets out a plethora of whines and pants, eyes screwed shut at the feeling.  The image of Tony’s face urging him to take another finger.

He knows Tony’s fingers would be thicker, stretching him wider than Peter ever could with his own.  The younger man hoped his former teacher would be able to handle him the way he wanted.  Peter imagined large, strong hands encircling his throat while the other gripped hard on his hips while he took him.

Three of his fingers are buried deep in himself before he even touches his neglected, leaking cock.  His left hand comes to collect the precum pooling at the head and dribbling down his shaft, allowing his hand to glide along his hot skin. He strokes himself lazily as he pulls his fingers out and reaches for the dildo.  Uncapping the lube again he slicks up the silicone and brings it to his open, waiting hole. 

Pulling his left hand off of his cock, Peter grabs one of the pillows and stuffs it under the small of his back.

He imagines Tony looking down at him with dark, analytical eyes, watching Peters every movement.  The rise and fall of his chest, his heaving breaths.  The way Peter keens when he’s stretched like he longs for the sting of it.  Would he fuck into him slowly or would he seath himself in one smooth, quick stroke?

Peter chooses the latter.

He cries out as he pushes the dildo balls deep into his ass without pause.  The pain from the stretch mixes deliciously with pleasure.  Sweat beading on his forehead has Peter’s curls sticking wetly to his skin.  His entire body is covered in a thin sheen of it.

The young man turns onto his left side, dildo still deep inside him.  Peter reaches around his back with his right hand and grips the bottom of the suction cup.  He sighs, easing the dildo out slowly before pressing the button at the base of the shaft to turn on the vibration and ramming it into himself once more.

Tony would be taking him from behind, a long arm encircling Peter’s body, hand coming to grip him at the base of his neck, right above his collarbone so that he could pull the younger man down and onto his thick cock while he fucks up into him.  

Peter continued to fuck himself roughly with the dildo while he thought of Tony’s hard body doing it to him instead.  He’d whisper dirty things in Peter’s ear while he fucked him.  Tell him that he’s such a good little slut for his teacher.  Peter whined at the thought, he’d love it if Tony let him call him Mr. Stark in bed.

He starts stroking his cock faster, feeling his orgasm build in the pit of his stomach.  His right arm is starting to get tired from fucking the dildo into his ass for so long, he’s gotta cum soon.

Peter’s eyes fly open when he hears his phone vibrate through the thrumming in his ears.  It’s a text from Tony.

How’s my favorite student? Miss me?

That does it.  Peter’s entire body jolts as he cums all over his hand and the towel he laid on the bed, a high whine caught in his throat. 

He’s still trying to catch his breath a few minutes later, after he eases the dildo out and places it on the towel.  He wipes his hand off on it as well before he grabs his phone.  He definitely needs a shower now. Then he’ll go to the mall.

To: Tony

Don’t flatter yourself

To: Tony

Maybe a little

-

Tony can’t help but smile at his phone, he might have been a little too eager with the message, typing it up as soon as he put his car in park.  The easy banter going on between him and Peter was refreshing.  Tony couldn’t remember the last time he felt genuinely excited to talk to someone, let alone text.

As the conversation kept flowing while Tony picked up his dry cleaning, he could only deduce that it was because they were nearly equal on an intellectual level.  It may have helped that Peter was easy on the eyes as well.

They talked about their projects at work and the research behind it, what it was like at Columbia for Peter, and how MIT had been to Tony.  The older man made a mental note to ask where Peter worked at a later date, maybe he could recruit him.  He learned that Peter’s favorite colors were blue and red.  That he hated horror movies but watched them anyway just to spite himself.  He loved rom-coms and (surprise, surprise) sci-fi movies.  He couldn’t cook to save his life, Tony assured him he could give him lessons if he wanted, he could make a mean Chicken Piccata.

Tony couldn’t even bring himself to feel guilty about it at all.  The conversation was innocent and Tony was a flirt by nature, Pepper never had a problem with it.  If anything, this thing with Peter was just a budding friendship.  The universe knows Tony needed someone to talk to.

Around noon, Tony’s stomach started to grumble, not surprising considering the hearty breakfast of black coffee he had this morning.  Peter mentioned earlier that he’d been craving Gyros, and that didn’t sound half bad right about now.  He was a few blocks away from the mall anyway.

From: Peter

Here’s a contact picture, in case you needed one...

[see attachment]

The picture Peter sent was absolutely adorable.  His bangs fell over his forehead, slightly parted to the side so it wasn’t completely covered.  Tony felt utterly entranced by the younger man’s smile and the way his left eyebrow looked like he’d slept with his face buried in a pillow.  He was wearing a T-Shirt with a science pun on it, as if the kid couldn’t be any dorkier.  Tony loved it.

To: Peter

Is that a sly way of getting me to send you a selfie back?

Cute shirt by the way, where ya headed?

From: Peter

Maybe...did it work?

I’m going shopping for a new mattress, old one crapped out on me.

To: Peter

Here, since you asked so nicely

[see attachment]

From: Peter

Oof, you can just delete mine.  You just made me go from a solid 6 to like a 2

To: Peter

Hey, give yourself some credit, you’re definitely at least a 5

KIDDING, I’d rate you a solid 9, kid. Just because there’s always room for improvement

From Peter:

I would just like to know who gave you the right to be so sassy and RUDE

To: Peter

Definitely my narcissistic ego

No, but seriously Pete, you’re stunning.  Don’t listen to the old guy

From: Peter

Pls you’re not that old, Tony.

To: Peter

A man after my own heart.  Thanks, kid.

From: Peter

Anytime :-)

You’re more like my friend’s hot dad if anything

To: Peter

Little shit.

From Peter:

;-)

Tony shook his head fondly and stuffed his phone in his pocket as he entered the mall, looking around for something indicating what direction the food court was in.  He hadn’t been to this mall in a while, he admits since he’s been making more money it’s kept him from coming and eating the fast food they had here.  So he followed the signs until he got to the food court, and noticed there were still quite a few tables open for him to sit and eat at.  He made a point to stay as far away from the family with three screaming children as possible.

He scanned the choices until he found somewhere that had gyros and went to go stand in line.  The menu wasn’t too extensive, he could either get a gyro platter or a falafel platter, and he already knew what he was here for.  His eyes fell from the menu to the person in front of him.  Not to be a creep, he’s only human, but he had a fantastic ass.  A perfect little bubble butt.

The man was a little shorter than him, he had a trim waist that opened up to broad shoulders not bigger than Tony’s.  Incredible figure.  He’s probably a dancer or a marathon runner.  He also noticed this man had brown curls.  That made him snort softly to himself, he either had a type or Peter just invaded his mind in a short amount of time.  It could be either, honestly.

His eyes dropped to the phrase printed on the back of his shirt.

Never trust an atom, they make up everything

Ha.  Peter would love that shirt.

Wait.

Peter has that shirt.  It’s the one he was wearing in his selfie.

“Peter?”

The man in front of him whirled around to look at him with a puzzled expression.  Tony suddenly found himself unable to move or say another word.  He was instantly captivated by doe eyes and one of the prettiest faces he’d seen in a long time.

He watched his confusion turn into realization and then disbelief and dare he say: panic.

“Tony?”

@sweetqueen449, @slut-for-starker, @dim-ships-johnlock, @starkerhowlter, @sthefystarkersworld, @crazycocococonut, @bris-sins, @delicateavenuenacho, @ironspiderstarker, @katzenbaby1, @spider-iron-man, @rebel13lion39, @twokinkybeans, @frenchfrostpudding, @cherrygoldlove, @silkystarkk, @icandoakickflip, @irondaddio, @briesb1tch

creds to @problemchildnoonewanted for some of the messages in the beginning

#starker #sluttystark stuff #starker fic #starker au #ironspider #tony stark x peter parker #tony stark/peter parker #peter parker x tony stark #Peter Parker/Tony Stark

[mordoriscalling]

Stay or Sail Away (1/6)

Here comes part one the modern AU fake dating Geraskier fic that I talked about in this post. I’d like to post each part daily. Tagging @geraskier-trashh as requested! :D

***

It’s not that Jaskier has any problem finding someone, thank you very much. It’s just that he’s busy. Busy with concerts and composing, meeting fans at various events, travelling, internet dramas involving Valdo (it’s always fucking Valdo). There’s no time for a relationship, only for occasional one night stands that sometimes that leave him heartbroken because he actually manages to fall in love with someone in the span of a few hours. It’s fine, though. Heartbreak inspires him like little else.

Jaskier's never complained about lack of bed partners, when he seeks them out. He’s charming, after all. Still, the moment he hears “commitment”, he flees. It’s just not his way. Or perhaps he’s never found anyone fascinating enough to commit to; it takes a lot to keep his attention.  He wasn’t even looking for someone like that. Not until recently.

His troubles began a week ago, during a phone call with his mum. She reminded him of his father’s 65th birthday party and asked if he would bring anyone with him. This was followed by a series of questions about his love life because, as his mum put it, “you’re 35, Julian darling, and you’re always working so hard! I worry you’ll end up alone”. In order to placate her, Jaskier might’ve lied a little tiny bit about some things. As a result, because of all the twists and turns of the conversation, he made his mother believe he had a fiancé.

A fucking fiancé.

Wanda Pankratz was ecstatic, wishing to know everything about her son’s relationship, but he dodged all the further questions by saying that she would meet his love soon enough. She left it at that but, of course, told half the family about it, if the texts and calls from his sisters and aunts were anything to go by.

Hence, The Post.

It’s a bit pathetic and desperate, Jaskier can freely admit, but he has no other choice. His personal guard Zoltan almost pissed himself laughing when Jaskier asked him to pretend to be his fiancé, and not one of his friends knows anyone who would want to do this. Not even his agent Triss could help him out.

It all drove Jaskier to log on his anonymous Facebook account (he is a pretty big name in the UK; better be safe than sorry) and post in one of the big London groups.

“I need urgent help from someone who’d be willing to act as my fiancé during a family party on February the 24th. The only thing I expect is the ability to sing praises of our love and to compliment my aunts. It’ll take around 4 hours and then we end our relationship. Age from 35 to 40. It’d be great if you knew something about the sea because I intend to introduce you as a sailor who’s never home and afterwards, you die. Can anybody help?”

Since yesterday, the post has got more than a thousand reactions (mostly the laughing one and likes) and hundreds of comments. Many people tagged their friends as a joke, which is not helpful, but Jaskier still scrolls down and down, trying not to let his hope die. Nobody seems to think his request is for real and he’s received no serious offers so far. Then, one of the newest comment threads catches his attention.

Lambert Rivia:    Geralt Rivia Destiny!

                              Geralt Rivia Fuck off

                              Yennefer Vengeberg Omg 😂 Cirilla Vengeberg-Rivia Eskel Rivia you must see this!

                              Cirilla Vengeberg-Rivia Yesssss!! This is perfect! ❤️

                              Eskel Rvia Do it Geralt

                              Geralt Rivia No.

Intrigued, Jaskier decides to check out these people’s profiles. Lambert Rivia is a handsome red-haired man who wears some kind of black military suit in his profile picture. Looking at his bio, Jaskier already knows why Lambert didn’t volunteer himself – he’s in a relationship. Eskel Rivia is blond, even more handsome than Lambert despite facial scars, and also has a photo in a black suit, together with a white cap on his head. There’s no information on Eskel’s relationship status and Jaskier is intrigued indeed. Yennefer Vengeberg is a terrifyingly beautiful woman who, judging how professional her profile picture appears, must work in some serious profession. Cirilla Vengerberg-Rivia is a lovely teenage girl with white-blond hair. Jaskier reckons she’s the daughter of Yennefer and one of the Rivia guys.

He left the poor Geralt’s profile as the last to look at, but now that Jaskier has seen the rest, he checks this one too.

His jaw fucking drops.

Geralt Rivia is a ridiculously handsome man. His face seems practically unreal because, surely, people as beautiful as Geralt don’t actually exist? The man’s long white hair (which makes no sense considering his apparent age), as well as his brown-almost-golden eyes, only add to his otherwordly, stunning appearance. Double stunning in that black military suit he’s wearing in his profile picture, just like Lambert and Eskel. The suit looks familiar and Jaskier has a nagging feeling he really should know what kind of army it is. Google helps him out and he quickly puts two to two – Geralt, Eskel and Lambert serve for the Royal Navy.

He bursts out laughing.

This is too good.

He wonders what he should to about this. Now that he knows about Geralt’s existence, he can’t really miss the chance of meeting him, however slim. His gut feeling tells him not to let the opportunity slip and well, who is Jaskier not to listen?

When he’s in the middle of debating what to write to the man, his phone pings. There’s a new messenger notification... with Geralt’s name. With a racing heart, Jaskier opens the message.

FEB THE 18TH AT 06:14 PM Hey. Everyone’s telling me to message you and won’t leave me alone. Is your request for real? Please say no

Jaskier chuckles and replies:

Hi! I’m sorry they’re bothering you and I’m also sorry to say that my request is very much for real. I’d be forever grateful if you helped me 😁

To this, Geralt responds with:

They really won’t stop until I agree They think it’s so fucking funny

Jaskier purses his lips, already suspecting this isn’t likely to work out. He'll have to face his loving mum and admit that he lied to her about fucking having a fiancé. She’s going to be so disappointed. At the very prospect, bad mood overtakes him, but he still types what he hopes to be a cheerful answer.

Damn, so sorry mate I won’t push you but, again, I’d totally owe you one if you agree  ☺️

What would I get?

Jaskier tries to reason with his hope to calm the fuck down and replies:

Money, or a favour of some sort, I have many connections Could be free tickets to my concerts  Even my company for the night 😏 Just whatever you want I really need help

Fuck

For a minute or two, the three dots next to Geralt’s photo disappear, and Jaskier’s hope plummets in a  dramatic fashion. Then, more messages from Geralt show up in the chat.

Free tickets seem fine My daughter loves going to concerts She’d like free tickets but I never heard of you

Jaskier starts begging any god out there that Cirilla is Geralt’s daughter. Teenagers make up a large part of his audience (which is great, actually; teenage kids are amazing these days). If she’s a fan, the free tickets are a major bargaining chip.

Well, Julian AP isn’t my stage name I don’t use it on fb

What is it? Your stage name

I’d rather not say here And you must promise me you won’t tell anyone about it too Well, anyone but your daughter

Ok

 Can you call me? It’s better to talk about this on the phone anyway

Fine.

Jaskier sends Geralt his number and waits for the call. In other circumstances, he’d congratulate himself on getting a man like that to call him so easily, but he’s too anxious. His hands itch for his guitar but he doesn’t get up from his bed. He begins smoothing his hair out with his palms, praying in his mind that Geralt hasn’t changed his mind.

After the agonizing wait of six minutes, there’s an incoming call. Jaskier takes a deep breath and picks up.

“Hello,” says a gravelly baritone voice so pleasant that it sends shivers down Jaskier’s spine.

“Uhm, h-hi, Geralt,” he replies a bit breathlessly, “so, my name’s Julian Alfred Pankratz but I’m known to many as Jaskier.”

There’s a beat of silence. “Jaskier?” Geralt repeats, “the one who sings Her Sweet Kiss?”

Jaskier beams, his chest swelling with pride. “The very same.”

“Fuck,” Geralt growls, “Ciri wants to blast this song whenever we drive somewhere.”

Jaskier laughs. “She would love free tickets to my concerts, wouldn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

Geralt says no more. Jaskier has to swallow down to sop his throat from constricting. “So?” he asks, “Can you do this for me?”

The silence on the other side is deafening and Jaskier doesn’t even breathe until Geralt finally speaks up. “Fine,” he grunts, his tone indicating it’s anything but fine.

Air leaves Jaskier’s lungs in a whoosh, replaced by a flood of such sheer relief that he may as well cry. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he babbles, heady with joy, “Gosh, you’re my saviour!”

“Just don’t tell anyone about this,” Geralt grumbles.

“Not a soul, Geralt, not a soul.”

“Send me the details about when and where and let’s get this over w–”

“No, wait!” Jaskier cuts in, “My family’s very perceptive, they’ll know it’s a ruse. We should plan everything carefully.”

“You’re making me regret this,” Gerlt growls.

“I’m sorry!” Jaskier hastens to say. “Just... at least tell me a bit about yourself?”

Geralt lets out an irritated sigh. “I’m forty, serve for the Royal Navy with my brothers. Eskel’s the nice one and Lambert’s the prick. My ex-wife Yennefer works for the government.” Jaskier actually shudders at this one because he already can picture it. Yennefer seems exactly powerful like that. “We have a daughter,” Geralt goes on, his tone softening, “Ciri. She’s fourteen. We live in London but I’m away often.”

“Oh, lovely,” Jaskier says with a wide smile because, really, this man’s love for his daughter is so clear and endearing, “this is something we can start with.”

“Just make everything up about our relationship and send it to me. I’ll play along.”

“Thank you,” he breathes out, still amazed at his luck. Jaskier is almost high on the success of his ingenious scheme and his obligations are therefore non-existent, so nothing stops him from teasing Geralt. “Though, to be completely honest," he says cheekily, "you don’t strike me as the type to sing praises of our love and compliment my aunts.”

“Hmm,” Geralt replies. It doesn’t sound like a negation. “Yen says I’m not that bad if I try.”

The fondness with which he said Yennefer’s name is a cold bucket of water poured on his enthusiasm. “O-oh, ok,” he stutters out, thrown off-track, “So, uhm, would you be willing to try for me?”

For a moment, Geralt says nothing, then answers, “If you give Ciri an autograph.”

Jaskier laughs out loud. “Not a problem at all! Whatever she wants.” He pauses. “Whatever you want,” he adds more seriously.  

Geralt only hmms, in a way that Jaskier’s prone-to-romanticism mind would almost call warm. Silence falls between them but it doesn’t feel awkward somehow. “Have to go,” Geralt says.

“Okay,” Jaskier replies quietly, “Thank you again. I’ll text you, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

After Geralt hangs up, Jaskier huffs out a shaky breath. Deep down, he already knows.

This is going to mess him up.

TBC

Part 2

#myfic #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #the witcher #modern au #pretend relationship #fake dating #fanfic #let's call this... the Sailor and the Singer AU xD #the Sailor and the Singer AU

[bratty-bright-eyes]

A Sebaciel Fan fic I wrote in 2017

Now, i never truly thought love was real nor have I ever thought I of all people would fall in love. The world is crazy that way, and let me say this. Love absolutely Sucks. I fell in love with Ciel Phantomhive all the way in 1895, 122 years ago And 119 years ago he was viciously ripped away from me. A sickness that took his lungs then took him. Now yes he knew I was a demon and yes we knew What we were, two men having a relationship in 1895. It was simply unheard of. But my baby didn't care. He would show me affection any time he could. That was the ciel I would always remember, the Ciel no one but me got to see. He was truly something else. Now you see even in his last moments he showed he loved me. And love hurts. I held him as he died, as he took a painful gasp of air and then become relaxed. And that was the last of him.

Now here we are year 2017, an odd time. I lived a normal life. As normal as you would get being a demon, going to Work and that fun stuff normal people did. But it got me out. It gave me more time to look for my beloved Mate.

I walked down my hallway with papers in my hand going over the words, not reading but skiming. Endless words of things I could care less about. I sighed and tossed the papers onto the Coffee table that sat in the middle of the sitting room. I walked to the window, it was a cold autumn day. Demons didn't need to eat or drink but I wanted something warm and sweet. I let out a sigh, coffee thats what i want, coffee. I grabbed my coat and keys walking out the front door letting it click behind me before locking the door. I came to like these cars. The year the first ford came out I thought ciel would have love this. He could drive and he would love it.

I got into my car and drove to a small coffee shop I knew. Mostly full of collage students or completely empty, today it wasn't too full but had a few collage students. Most cracked out on coffee and studying, I never knew why they went to collage just to go. It didn't do much for them. I waved to one of the Batista's I knew, or well talked to anytime I came in, she was in the middle of making a coffee so she said something to the other Barista's probably something along the lines of 'Get your ass back to work'. I smiled slightly and walked to the counter

"Good evening. I'll just have a Hot Carmel Cielo.." I smiled at the younger probably new Batista. He put it in and with a friendly voice gave me my price. After swiping my card I moved over to the side letting others order their coffee. My maroon eyes went down to my phone, I've honestly become a bit obsessed with these apps. Facebook, Instagram, I remembered when phones were just big bricks. But I'm sure any middle aged man would, so I guess that doesn't make me special.

While browsing All through I hear a soft voice asking for one of the most sweetiest coffees you could possibly get at coffee shop. I looked up to see who Would order it, maybe a younger teen. That's when I felt the air from my lungs get swept out of them. Standing only inches away from me was him. Ciel. He looked exactly the same, Dismiss the clothes of course. His hair the same length, the dark gray ashy color, small locks curling around his perfectly round face. His eyes still that beautiful blue. Like an ocean before the storm, dark blue but still so bright in a way. His height was the same. He had to have been twenty or nineteen, I was frozen the world stopped turning. My baby was there. It was him I could feel it, that same feisty soul buzzing in his chest. only did I snap out of it when the annoyed teen poked me to hand me my coffee.

"A-ah. Yes forgive me. Thank you" I took it and quickly looked back the boy. it has come to my attention I have not thought on what I'd do if this day ever came. I cannot simply go up to him and say something about his past life. He'd think I was truly off my handle, but like hell id let him get away from me. I was a flirt but when it came to ciel I was a school boy talking to his crush. Stumbling over my words and just being a complete mess.

I sat in a chair and waited for him to get his drink to my luck he sat down in a booth putting his laptop onto the Table and plugging it into a wall. I am honestly not surprised one bit ciel was your typical Coffee boy. Sitting in a small shop with his computer, his computer that had many stickers on the back. That was my baby over there. I worked up the courage and walked over, I felt sick. So very sick and I haven't felt like this in years. Ciel's eyes looked up at Me, I nearly tripped. Words, what are words?

"forgive me for bothering you this evening." I started. "but you have caught my eye and I had to get your name"

that sounded very stupid and I can admit that to myself. But I was jumbled.  Ciels lips tugged into a smile, a shy little smile. He laughed lightly and closed his laptop "Ciel.. and you are?" Hearing his voice again made me weak but I stayed strong and smiled.  Im surprised his name was carried into this life. But it made me very happy it did. My Little heaven.

"I'm Sebastian, its a pleasure to meet you" I hummed.

"Sebastian huh? Hello Sebastian.. Want to take a seat?" he asked pushing the Laptop to the side. Hearing my name roll out of the perfect little smile. My old heart beat so fast. "id be much obliged.." I smiled and sat acrossed from ciel. now being closer I took a better look at ciels face, he was such a pale Boy. Plump lips big eyes. my boy.

"So.." he started I could tell her was a bit uncomfortable not knowing how to start a conversation with a stranger.  So I started

"Are you going to collage around here?"

Ciel nodded taking a quick sip of his coffee.

"I am.. not for anything thing amazing but just to go."

"That's very interesting.. Im sure you'll find something you want to do. I graduated a few years ago"

I was already starting off with a lie. How amazing. But it gained a smile from ciel.

"Really? Amazing.."

"I guess so, so ciel. Are you from around here?" just talking to him made me feel so much better.

"kinda? I live about an hour away" he said. "its a drive but I don't mind it." He said with a hum.

I smiled "Well ciel. If it is okay with you.. I would to take you on a proper date and get to know you more.." I cannot force love so if rejected me now, oh. I don't have a plan B.

"really? Okay, you seem like a nice guy." He said in a sly voice. I smiled shocked he actually said yes hopefully giving me the benefit of the doubt. I watched as he pulled out some paper ripping it and putting his number down on it writing his full name down. To my surprise it didn't change. Still Ciel Phantomhive. "Here" he chimmed, I took the paper from his hand "Thank you." I smiled. We said our fair wells and I went home. Once I closed the door I collapsed back into it holding the small paper tight in my hand. It was him it was really him. my Little Heaven. My baby. I took a shaky breath running my fingers through my hair closing my eyes for a moment once I gathered my thoughts I looked up at the small black tabby cat that sat on the back of the chair giving me a more than a annoyed look.

"Well, looks like I have a date"

#ciel phantomhive #sebaciel #black butler #sebastian michaelis #fanfic #past lives

[thisbibliomaniac]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) all of them except the too personal ones

1. What is you middle name? Classified ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

2. How old are you? 80

3. What is your birthday? Boring as heck

4. What is your zodiac sign? Whichever one means you hate LOTR fans

5. What is your favorite color? PINK

6. What’s your lucky number? 2

7. Do you have any pets? Not technically mine, but I live with some

8. Where are you from? Slightly west

9. How tall are you? Exactly average

10. What shoe size are you? Not average

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like 10? I wear maybe 3 regularly

12. What was your last dream about? I'll definitely tell you when I remember....

13. What talents do you have? Pinterest fails

14. Are you psychic in any way? I almost always grab the correct number of earring backs from the box, no matter how many orders I'm filling. Does that count?

15. Favorite song? We Could Run Away by Needtobreathe

16. Favorite movie? Sabrina

17. Who would be your ideal partner? I'm in love with Henry Cavill rn, so

18. Do you want children? Yes

19. Do you want a church wedding? I don't really care

20. Are you religious? Very

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I don't think so?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Yesterday I would've said no, but a picture of me and Mark Schultz showed up in my facebook memories today

24. Baths or showers? Shower

25. What color socks are you wearing? I JUST put on brand new knitted green and purple wool socks and I love them

26. Have you ever been famous? Does my post with 300,000 notes telling me to kill myself count?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Nooooo

28. What type of music do you like? Bits of all of it I think

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Lol no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? At least 3

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Side

32. How big is your house? Small

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Nothing

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes!

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes!

36. Favorite clean word? Nonetheless

37. Favorite swear word? Heckalump.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably 24 hours

39. Do you have any scars? Oh yes

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Do anons count?

41. Are you a good liar? Yes

42. Are you a good judge of character? Usually

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Lol yes

44. Do you have a strong accent? I have no accent. I speak correct English

45. What is your favorite accent? Correct English like we speak in Ohio

46. What is your personality type? Annoying as heck

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I just paid $15 for a shirt that says Schrute Farms. It was on sale

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie? 👀

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? No

52. Favorite food? FETA CHICKEN

53. Favorite foreign food? Shish tawook

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Both

55. Most used phrased? Oh good heavens

56. Most used word? Bruh

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Five to ten minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? I don't think so

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Neither

60. Do you talk to yourself? Oh yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? Definitely

62. Are you a good singer? I've been told so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

63. Biggest Fear? 👀👀👀

64. Are you a gossip? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Idk about best, but I just watched Warrior Queen of Jhansi on Sunday and it was fantastic

66. Do you like long or short hair? Oh?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Sure can

68. Favorite school subject? History

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Intro

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No?

71. What makes you nervous? Getting reviews 👀

72. Are you scared of the dark? No

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends on the person and the mistake

74. Are you ticklish? Nah

75. Have you ever started a rumor? I don't think so

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I have had one (1) employee

77. Have you ever drank underage? Lol no

78. Have you ever done drugs? I have some CBD?

79. Who was your first real crush? Probably Errol Flynn

80. How many piercings do you have? Currently? 2

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ yis

82. How fast can you type? Fast. Correctly? Slightly less fast

83. How fast can you run? Not fast

84. What color is your hair? Red

85. What color is your eyes? Brown

86. What are you allergic to? Furries

87. Do you keep a journal? Only when I was reading the book of mormon

88. What do your parents do? Work

89. Do you like your age? Sure

90. What makes you angry? When sitcoms end with all the characters going their separate ways

91. Do you like your own name? Noooo

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yes, but I don't remember what they are

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Yes

94. What are you strengths? Putting fear into my printer

95. What are your weaknesses? Hitting my printer

96. How did you get your name? Nobody else had it (and then it was the most popular baby name for like fifteen years)

97. Were your ancestors royalty? No

98. Do you have any scars? I thought we asked this already

99. Color of your bedspread? Pink

100. Color of your room? Purple

Just for u tur 😘

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #361

“the world is a vampire, sent to drain”

Have you ever been through a phase of thinking emo guys were hot? A phase? Hunny, they're still hot lmao. Have you ever dated someone that could play an instrument? Yeah. Juan could play guitar, and Girt played I think the tuba in band. What’s so horrible about wearing leggings like pants? I've actually never understood why people freak about this. Like so long as they're not sheer and fit you fine, why exactly is this a problem...? Weirdest picture you’ve ever taken of yourself? Oh dear. When someone claims to be suicidal, do you take them seriously? FUCK you if you don't. Honest to god, fuck you. This is NOT something you just don't even blink at. Even if it's surprising to hear from that person, you take that shit seriously and try to talk to them about it. Ever been kicked out of anywhere? Colleen's house. Ever had Skittles vodka? No, but that shit sounds good. Ever punched someone in the face? No. If you haven’t, do you want to now? Uh, I'll pass. Do you truly HATE anyone? No one I know personally, but people like rapists, pedophiles, etc., I sure as hell do hate them. Most historical/famous landmark/building you’ve been to in your country? No clue. Favorite flavor for most things? Strawberry, watermelon, or blue raspberry, depending on what the thing is. Ever taken pictures in a photobooth? Who with? Yeah: Summer, Jason, and I'm pretty sure Sara and I did? What is the closest book to you? It's a full collection of Poe's poetry that Mom got me. Are you reading it or someone else? I'm not right now. I may eventually. Milkshakes or Sundaes? Hm, I gotta go with milkshakes. Do you like watermelons more or cherries? I'm not a fan of either, but I'd definitely pick watermelons over cherries. Who was the last person you ate with? My family and I went to Ichiban (a Japanese steakhouse that we have here where they cook directly in front of you) yesterday to celebrate Nicole's graduation. Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Broccoli. I hate asparagus. Do you have any bug bites? No. Do you have any flowers in your room? No. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Loosely, anyway. It's a family I took pictures for, and I still have the mother on Facebook. When you were little, did you ever go to feed the ducks? Yes, I LOVED doing that. Don't feed ducks bread, by the way. Have you seen any of the seven wonders of the world in person? No. Have you ever won anything out of one of those crane machines? Yeah. Can you remember being taught how to ride a bike? Was it hard for you? Yeah. I don't THINK it was too hard. Did you get carded the last time you ordered an alcoholic drink? No. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? No, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. Which was the worst phase in your life? 2016 was. Towards the end of '15 was the breakup, and through aaaaaaall of 2016, I was just dead inside and totally useless. Every day I wanted to be dead. Can you remember your last dream? I had a nightmare some stupid kids were fucking with my snake Venus, so I was trying to protect her. Do you ever use Snapchat? No, I don't have one. What’s your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. What happened at the last party you went to? Summer prepared some little Halloween treat bags for us guests, we watched a horror movie, and everyone but me smoked some weed. Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? I would assume everyone is more comfortable lying down... Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync? Yeah, as a kiddo. Favorite kind of cake: Red velvet, yum yum. What is your middle name? Marie. TV shows and anime you watch regularly: None. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Just a big family of pets with a spouse. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Oh boy, I couldn't tell ya. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? YAY!! I've had many, but I don't think I'll get any more. I've just had bad luck with them, save for one that died of cancer at an old age. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yeah. I haven't really written any big RP posts of the late, but I did recently write a poem. Are needles something that you’re afraid of? Okay, so this is super weird. Tattoos and piercings? No problem. Little prick, getting blood drawn, that sorta little stuff, no problem. I am, however, NOT a fan of big needles, which used to not be an issue. It's actually kinda recent, and it's why I'm nervous about my second Covid shot coming up, aha... What was the last unexpected hug you gave/received? I really haven't had an unexpected hug since Jason asked for one before he left my house after our final talk. Who was the last person you held hands with? Either my niece or nephew. Have you ever been in a parade before? If so, was it on TV? No. Do you have a fear of rollercoasters? If so, were you ever forced to go on one? If you don’t, what is your favorite rollercoaster? I have a big fear of them, yeah. Post a picture of you from a recent time. Don't feel like it. Who was the last person to give you some of their food? Miss Tobey let me try one of her dumplings yesterday when we were at Ichiban for dinner. The last person you met, what was your first impression of them? I actually didn't quite like her. Have you ever been to a football game? Yeah, because my sister was a cheerleader. Do you like the snow or rain better? Snowwww. Have you ever faked sick? Yeah. What is your blood-type? A-. Have you ever eaten a bug? Not knowingly. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Salsa. Mom got these veggie chips at the store and they apparently taste better with salsa, which it did. They weren't great, though. Are you listening to anything at the moment? It's Gab Smolders' turn for me to watch her Resident Evil 8 upload, haha. I'm literally watching three different people (Mark, John Wolfe, and her) play it. Can you take a bra off with one hand? I haven't tried, I think? I doubt I could, given that I'm not exactly small. Do you have an innie or an outie bellybutton? Innie. Can you crack your neck? NOOOOO AND DO NOT DO IT AROUND ME YOURSELF. Are you donating your organs? Yeah; what am I gonna use 'em for? It just seems like a waste otherwise. They're just gonna decay. When was the last time you talked to you mom? Before she left with Tobey to go to the store. Do you like pumpkin pie? NO. I don't like pie, and I hate pumpkin. Do you own your own computer? Yeah. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yeah; growing up, my little sister and I did. Is there any piece of technology you want to buy? I REALLY want a PS4. Did you ever have a night light when you were a kid? Yeah. What TV show had you hooked from the very first episode? Meerkat Manor, 100%. I had to know that Shakespeare was okay. What is your least favorite Sour Patch Kids color? Orange or red, can't pick. Have you ever seen the movie Matilda? YES! I love that movie. What is the weirdest chant you have ever heard? Uh, idk. How are you feeling? Annoyed and hurt as fuck because shit Miss Tobey says without thinking for a single goddamn second. I'm honestly beyond sick of this woman. Do you know anyone with a unibrow? I don't think so. Doughy or saucy pizza? Doughy. Do you have anything that’s limited edition? Yeah. Do you have an air freshener in your bathroom? If so, what scent? I... think we do? If so though, I just don't notice it. The bathroom doesn't smell like anything in particular. Do you like Jalapeno Cheetos? Oh man, I forgot about those! Love 'em. Are you a fan of salads? Yeah, they're fine. I have to be in the mood for one, though. What’s one random thing that you don’t like? Uhhh carrots. What’s one random thing that you like? Shrimp. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I don't. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NOPE. I'm the absolute worst with it. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? I really wanna see Sara, so take me to Illinois. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, but a former best friend had her birthday the day before mine. Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? Not anymore, honestly. After Jason, I stopped that "I can't live without you" mindset. Truth is I'm going to lose people through life, and I'm not attaching my ability to happily exist to anyone. Are you wearing a ring? Two. Have your friends ever stopped by your house just to say hi? In the past, yeah. Do you like Chinese food? Not really. I only ever get pork fried rice and eggrolls from Chinese restaurants. Have you done any shopping for something in specific recently? No. Do you still live in your hometown? No. What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? I don't recall, honestly. I haven't done that in a very long time. Have you ever had a UFO sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? A very strange light, yes. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Yes to both. Seeing Mom drunk is very, very rare though. My dad was an alcoholic when I was growing up, so I saw him drunk plenty. Do your parents vote? Mom does, idk about Dad. Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? Jason. What restaurant has the best fries? Nowhere has anything on Bojangle's, y'all. Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''bullet with butterfly wings'' by the smashing pumpkins