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cy-cyborg · 2 months

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Disability 101: The language of Disability

Trigger Warning: this post contains discussions of disability slurs (specifically the C and R slurs), and the history of disabled people's use in medical experimentation, including specific (but brief) examples.

Most of the content on my blog is aimed specifically at authors, artists and other creatives, but I've been noticing for a while now, that many of the people who come here to learn about writing and designing better and more compassionate disabled representation are often missing what I would consider to be pretty fundamental knowledge of the disabled community, or have gotten said information from a questionable source, for example, through corporate sensitivity training, who's given them just straight-up incorrect information. This isn't surprising, nor is it really the fault of the people seeking to learn more, rather, it's because of the way society at large talks about (or I suppose, doesn't talk about) disability. However this lack of foundational understanding often leads to creators accidentally including harmful tropes, using damaging or unnecessarily coded language or just including misinformation about our community into their works, often in ways that are quite hard to change by the time they realise there's an issue.

But before we continue:

The disability community is massive and we have a lot of history most people are totally unaware of which influences a lot of these fundamentals. It doesn't help that there are a lot of "allies" to our community who completely ignore and speak over us, many of whom have bigger platforms that actual disabled people, so their advice is seen and shared by more people, muddying the waters even further and making it difficult to discern what is and isn't "good information". Because of that, I understand that it can be hard to know where to start, so while most of my content is dedicated to specifically talking about disability representation in media, and how creators can include better representation in their own works, I also want to take some time to talk about some of the fundamental information about the disabled community I feel everyone (creator or not) should know.

Today I'm going to start on what I think trips people up the most when they're first trying to learn: The language surrounding disability. What terms we (generally) prefer, what terms to avoid, all that. I don't think this is necessarily the most important thing to know right off the bat, but it is probably one of the topics non-disabled people are the most confidently incorrect about, and where general misinformation is the most rampant.

Disclaimer: Before we go ahead, it's important to remember that the disabled community is not a monolith, especially so when we are talking about something like language and preferred terms. This post is designed to be a starting off point, not a rigid set of rules or all-encompassing guide. Different individuals may prefer different terms, possibly even ones listed in this article as words to avoid. Articles like this should always be taken as a general guideline but you should always be respectful of an individual's preference and refer to them how they have asked you to refer to them, even if it goes against general advice you've been given. However, it's important to bear in mind that just because that individual has a preference for a less popular term or even a term others find offensive, doesn't mean every disabled person is ok with it. It's also important to consider that different communities, cultures and countries, as well as people who speak different languages or even dialects of the same language, will have different general preferences, and so it is crucial to do further research on your own.

Disability and disabled are not dirty Words, it's ok to say it

If you grew up in the 1990's or later, like I did, you very likely heard words like "special needs," "differently-abled," "Special education" (often shortened to SPED). There's a very good chance that if you worked in education, healthcare (especially for children), with some disability charities or even if you were the parent of a disabled kid during this time, you were likely told to use these terms as a replacement for words like disabled, because "disability" and specific terms like "autism," "amputee," "downs syndrome," "paraplegic," etc put the focus on the things the person doesn't have or can't do. Calling them "disabled" implies there is something wrong with them, whereas these alternatives put a focus on the idea that folks with these conditions are "different, not less". At least, that's what a lot of people are told.

This is what we call coded language, and it's an issue because a lot of disabled people despise it. There are exceptions, of course, I know a few people who are indifferent, but I honestly can't recall anyone who was disabled themselves who preferred it outside of very young children who's parents insisted it was better (though most chose to move away from it as they got older).

But why? well, because of something that I'm sure you'll notice is going to be a pattern throughout this post: we didn't create these terms, and they weren't made for us, not really.

Most disabled people don't really see using the term "disabled" or any of the modern diagnostic terms (for the most part) as an issue. Yes, many do, by definition, focus on things we don't have, can't do or might struggle with; the definition of an amputee is someone who is missing a limb, the definition of paraplegia is someone who has paralysis in their lower body and legs, meaning they might not be able to or might struggle to move them. The definition of a disability is a little more complex and varies from country to country, but the American CDC defines it as "Any condition of the body or mind that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities and interact with the world around them."

These definitions sound negative, but it's not a bad thing to acknowledge someone doesn't have something most other people possess, or struggles with things others don't. It doesn't make someone "less" to acknowledge they have a barrier others don't. It's just acknowledging a part of our lived experience and acknowledging that our lives, because of these barriers, can sometimes look different, in both big and small ways.

However, a lot of people who are not used to being around disabled people get deeply uncomfortable with this, and this refusal to use straight-forward words like disabled is a symptom of that. This discomfort comes, in my experience, from a lack of understanding of disability as a whole, and potentially misplaced sympathy. They don't know how we do things they see as important, how we could do without the things they have, or what technology or services is available to help us bridge those gaps. This unknown makes a lot of non-disabled people scared, uncomfortable or makes them sad for us, even when it's not necessary. They see that we can't do something they can, like move our legs for example, and make a series of assumptions based on incomplete information. They imagine a life like ours and don't know how it could possibly be fulfilling, because they are missing so many vitally important pieces of information, making our lives look empty, bland and sad.

They don't have the full picture, but ironically, this discomfort stops them from learning more. If you go into a topic like this, assuming it will be depressing and bleak, why would you want to double check? For many, the fact that it doesn't take much for them to become disabled too adds to that feeling of discomfort and fear, so they turn away and try to pretend we're just "different" and insist on replacing the "scary" words that acknowledge the challenges and barriers they too will have to face if they become like us with things that comfort themselves, not us.

All of this is especially important to remember in the cases of disabled people who are severely limited by their disabilities (whether it be due to the disability itself, or the lack of accommodations for it) and who's disabilities do have negative impacts on their lives. It's important to acknowledge that for some of us, the negative stigma around our disabilities is mostly misinformation and an incomplete picture, like I mentioned before, that altering how something is done or approaching things differently can completely remove those barriers for some of us (e.g. like building ramps instead of stairs), but it won't for everyone. terms like "differently abled" completely ignore and dismiss the experiences of this part of the community, all they do is remind the person that you are uncomfortable acknowledging what they are dealing with. "disabled" on the other hand is inclusive of us both.

Person-first vs Identity-first language

Another aspect of the language surrounding disability that causes confusion in a lot of non-disabled people is whether or not you should be using person-first or identity-first language.

Person-first is where you put the person before the name of the disability, for example "Person with a disability," "Person with autism," "person with amputations," etc. Identity-first language, on the other hand, is where you put the person's disabled identity first, so "disabled person," or in the case of some disabilities, you might drop the need to say person at all, so it would be "autistic" and "amputee".

Unlike the last section, the answer to which one you should be using varies a lot on who you ask, and both types of language have their own benefits.

Person-First

Chances are, if you've done any kind of work that would have put you into contact with disabled people in the last few decades or so, you were instructed to use person-first language. weather you are a journalist, a doctor, an educator, a government employee, or were part of many, many other industries, chances are that you were taught to use it.

The reason for this is that, before the introduction and widespread use of person-first language to describe disability, non-disabled people were much less kind in how they spoke about us. Many people openly used slurs, even in formal settings, or referred to us (individually) as "the disabled," "the wheelchair," "the blind," "the downs syndrome," etc. e.g. "the wheelchair over there asked for assistance," or "I'm seeing the downs syndrome at 3pm."

This was especially prevalent in the medical field, with healthcare professionals often exclusively referring to their patients in this (or similar) ways, refusing to acknowledge their personhood, the value of their lives or their lived experiences beyond their disabilities. The medical field often mistreated and abused disabled patients, and before the introduction of laws protecting the rights of disabled people, this was not only completely legal to do, but was sometimes encouraged. On top of general mistreatment, disabled people, specifically, those being kept in mental institutions, asylums, and other places dedicated to their "care" (or containment) were often used as human test subjects.

There are countless examples throughout history, such as when Dr Henry Heiman infected two boys with gonorrhoea without their consent or the consent of their parents in New York in 1895, one of whom was only four years old with epilepsy and the other was 16 years old with unspecified intellectual disabilities. Dr Thomas Francis infected multiple disabled individuals with influenza in 1941, and George L. Fitch who infected six children under 12 living in the "Hawaiian Leper Colony" with what he thought was Syphilis in 1833. The personhood of the victims of these studies were often ignored or downplayed, so it's not too surprising then, that when the disabled community was finally able to start pushing back against their mistreatment in the late 1900's (The specific decade varies depending on which country you're talking about), they advocated for language that put their humanity and personhood first and foremost, making it much harder for people to forget that they were, in fact, still people and deserved to be treated as such.

Today, person-first is still preferred by parts of the community who still face more dehumanisation than most in the disabled community. for example, it's still very popular among people with downs syndrome. Of course, generalisations are just that: generalisations. There are many people with disabilities who experience very extreme dehumanisations, and still prefer not to use person-first, and vice versa.

There are also a number of disabilities that simply don't have names that work using identity-first language for grammatical reasons, such as people with ADHD (though some online communities use "ADHDers" in more informal settings) or people with BPD. Most often these are the disabilities who's names are acronyms, and so person-first is still used, but more out of necessity than genuine preference.

Identity-First

Identity first isn't technically newer than person-first language, but it's use, and it's name, has changed connotations recently as it has begun to become popular in parts of the community.

You see, for some people, their disabilities are an important part of their sense of self, or at the very least, their disabilities are so impactful on their lives, for better or worse, that they feel like they would be a completely different person without them. This is what we mean when we talk about disability as an identity, and what we mean when we say identity-first.

For some folks who prefer identity-first language, they feel like person-first is trying to distance them from their disability, often for the comfort of non-disabled people. It makes a disability sound like something you carry with you and that you could simply leave at the door if you could, not an important part of yourself. It sounds as strange as saying "A person with creativity" as opposed to "a creative person" or, to compare it to another identity of my own, "a person with gayness" instead of "a gay person".

This particular reason is popular among communities such as some parts of the autistic community, as autism impacts their brain, their personality, their interests, the way they communicate with others and more. If they were suddenly "cured" of their autism, they would be totally different people, and so they feel "autistic" is a better descriptor, as they simply can't be separated from their disability. It's a part of what makes them who they are. This is also popular among people born with their disabilities who have only ever known life that way, or those who have had their disabilities for a long time. Their disability, weather directly (such as autism) or indirectly (due to how people treat them, what opportunities or lack there of were available to them, the people they interacted with, etc) has impacted them so much that, once again, if they weren't disabled, they would have become a wholly different person.

Some prefer identity-first because they feel that they should not have to remind others that they are people. They feel it is unnecessary, and that if you need to be constantly reminded that any group of people you don't belong to are still people just because they are different to you, that's honestly just concerning. And then there are some in the community, who just prefer it because it's usually shorter and easier to say.

There's also a lot of people who don't really care either way. Personally, I fall into this category for the most part, as do most people I know. while I do lean more towards identity-first because it's easier to write and say, and because I agree, I think we as a society shouldn't need to be reminded of anyone's personhood so frequently in 2024, I also recognise that unfortunately, some people do still need that reminder.

It's important to note, that calling someone "the wheelchair," "the disabled," "The autistic," etc is not identity-first language, it's typically under the categorisation of objectifying language and you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone who likes or prefers that. Using identity-first language for these disabilities might look like, "Wheelchair user," "autistic/disabled person" or "that person is disabled/autistic". A good rule-of-thumb is to just avoid using "the" when referring to individuals or even groups of people (e.g. the disabled, the elderly, the gays etc).

Slurs

I also want to talk about slurs briefly. A slur, in this context, is defined by Merriam Webster as "an insulting or disparaging remark or innuendo," though it is often used specifically when referring to words of particularly strong impact, often with a lot of history behind why they have that impact.

For the disability community, many (though not all) of our slurs are somewhat unique, in that they were once considered medical diagnoses. While a lot of people do make this argument disingenuously, I do believe there are some people who are genuinely confused about this, which is why I quickly want to bring it up.

Words like "cripple," "retard," and many, many more I am not comfortable saying for a variety of reasons, all started as actual diagnoses. In fact, several of the sources I used even use them in this way, such as the sites and books I found talking about the two boys Henry Heinman infected almost always referring to them as being "mentally retarded" or "experiencing mental retardation".

I've talked about "cripple" specifically in detail before, but in all of these cases, the word went from a neutral descriptor (at least, in theory) to something that was used in increasingly negative ways, both by the medical professionals diagnosing people with these terms, and the general public. In medical settings, these words were often used to justify the horrible treatment directed at people with disabilities (Like we discussed before), and even after protections were put into place, the language kept its associations. In the general public, these words started being used as insults directly, both directed at disabled people and in general. If you went to school in the 2000's, you probably heard "retard" being used as an insult on the playground as a replacement for stupid or ridiculous. You can see how, when a whole generation starts associating a diagnosis with "ridiculous" it starts to become an issue. This would then feed back into how the terms were used medically. As much as we'd like to think of doctors and healthcare professionals as being unaffected by cultural norms, history has proven time and time again that this was not the case. If you'd grown up hearing a real diagnosis as a synonym for an insult, it's not going to make your opinion of the patients you're giving that title to particularly positive unless you're going to spend a lot of time deconstructing those implications, which, in my experience, many do not.

So yes, even though these might have been acceptable terms once, their use in overwhelmingly negative ways has caused a lot of disabled people to become deeply uncomfortable with them, and they have since been deemed slurs.

Of course, not every slur related to disability came from outdated diagnostic terms. The M-slur used against little people, for example, originated during the times where little people's only option for employment was in freak-shows and other demeaning rolls, such as being kept as pets by nobility. The M-slur was used to compare them to a type of small, annoying fly, a midge, as a way to further humiliate and dehumanise them.

There have been movements that attempted or are currently in the process of reclaiming some of these slurs, with notable examples like the "cripplepunk" community for physically disabled people (They do, however, ask that able-bodied people call the movement "c-punk" instead). Though other words like "retard" are more debated, and many people with intellectual and cognitive disabilities (who the slur was usually directed at) feel it is too early to start that process, or feel it should not be reclaimed at all. At the end of the day, it is the people with the disabilities impacted by these terms who get to decide if, how and when a slur is reclaimed, not outside forces and wider society.

Focusing back in on authors and creatives for a moment, if you're writing a disabled character, but you yourself are not disabled, I'd highly recommend against using slurs in your work, even if your character is part of the community that could reclaim it. Even if you are disabled in that same way, I'd recommend caution. I often call myself a cripple in a joking light, but I probably will never feel comfortable including it in any of my work (outside articles like this where we're discussing it, of course). If you really, really must include these slurs, make sure to get input from others in the community.

Outgroup Terms

Finally, one last thing I want to bring up is in reference to the "outgroup terms" disabled people use for people without a disability.

A very common misconception is that if you aren't disabled, you're able-bodied, but this isn't true! Able-bodied (sometimes shortened to A.B.) refers to people without physical disabilities specifically, so you can be able-bodied but still have an intellectual disability or some kind of neurodivergence like autism, dyslexia, or schizophrenia. Likewise, you can be neurotypical - the word for people who aren't neurodivergent - and physically disabled.

If you want to refer to people without any disabilities at all, the most common way to do that, and the term I've been using throughout this post, is just non-disabled. Some people also use the term "abled" but this isn't as widely agreed upon, as many people assume it's just a shortened version of able-bodied.

Conclusion

As I said in the beginning, this post is meant to just be a general guide, not hard and fast rules. The disabled community isn't a monolith, and we don't agree on everything and that's ok. Different people and groups will have different preferences and that's ok too. If you're an outsider to the community and you aren't sure what words or terms to use, just ask (so long as you're polite about it and/or it's relevant to the conversation at hand, it's fine) but always respect an individual's preference over a generic piece of advice like this post. Under no circumstances should you ever correct a disabled person on how they refer to themselves and their own community. If they refer to themselves as disabled, that's great. If they call themselves, a person with a disability, also great! I can not tell you how many non-disabled people who have told me I am "disrespecting myself" for calling myself an amputee, autistic or disabled.

At the end of the day, how any individual wishes to refer to themselves is their choice, but for creatives, especially those of you writing disabled characters as a non-disabled person, it's important to be aware of the reception and implications different words may have with your audience.

[Thumbnail ID: An image of overlapping speech bubbles on a blue background containing several terms, ranging from commonly accepted to offensive, used to refer to disabled people. Some of the more easily visible bubbles say things like "differently abled," "Disabled," "Special Needs," "Person With a Disability," "Special," "Slow" and many more. In the centre, the biggest bubble says "Disability 101: The Language of Disability." /End ID]

#Writing disability with Cy Cyborg #Disability 101 #Long Post #Disability #Disabled #Disability Representation #Writing Disability #Writing #Writeblr #Authors #Creators #Writing Advice #Disabled Characters #Disability History #Language #On Writing #Disability in Media

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cambion-companion · 1 year

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Waterfall

Based on this Anon ask: I'm not the biggest fan of modern aus but i cant stop thinking about showering with aemond, watching the water cascade from his hair to his neck, his torso and then lower. I think he'd love a good piping hot shower while i just stand there, thoughts of getting clean thrown out of the window (theres also a thought of getting railed from behind while under the shower but its too early for this 😂)

With some encouragement I decided to turn this into a fic under a waterfall, enemies to lovers vibe like my other fic, Captured.

And since all my fics are getting flagged for community guidelines whether they need it or not I've decided to earn it this time with some smut so 18+ only pls

Aemond x fem!reader | making love under a waterfall

"Aemond, please, let's stop!" You called ahead; your hands bound with heavy rope in front of you were beginning to ache in earnest. "It's hot." You muttered as an aside to yourself, wishing you could shed a couple layers.

Up ahead, Aemond paused, turning slightly towards you but not meeting your gaze.

He hadn't looked at you directly since taking you prisoner.

You heard him curse you under his breath.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" You snarked as he stomped back to where you waited.

That got a reaction, Aemond's fiery lilac eye caught you and you found yourself wishing he'd look away. Aemond yanked at your bonds, causing you to stumble forward. Your foot caught a tree root and you fell forward, hard, against the Targaryen's chest.

"Get up." Aemond hissed in your ear, supporting you by your elbows and helping you regain your footing.

"You really have turned into quite an ass since last we met." You grouched, watching as he pulled unsheathed his dagger. "Is that a dagger, or are you just happy to see me?"

"If you don't stop your inane quips, I will show you how much of a dagger this is."

"Tetchy."

With a fluid movement Aemond had cut through the rope that bound your hands and you were free. For a clear second of insanity, you thought of trying to run. You settled for rubbing your sore wrists and glowering at the prince. "Tell me again why you couldn't just whisk me back to King's Landing on a dragon."

"Too high profile." Aemond answered, stowing his knife and beginning to scan the area for a place to set up camp. Of course, you had been designated pack carrier. "Mother wants you back alive and...unspoiled."

"Ah, so you're still a mommy's boy." You slipped the heavy pack off your shoulders, letting it fall heavily to the earthen floor.

Aemond considered you for a moment, before tilting his head, smiling slightly. "Yes."

"I guess that should be a relief." You muttered, rolling your shoulders. "Well!" You clapped your numb hands together. "I'm off!"

With that, you turned on your heel and began descending the forested hill toward the enticing river you could hear rushing nearby.

A firm hand grasped your elbow, halting your progress. "Just where are you thinking of escaping to?"

You turned back to Aemond, trying your best to maintain the debonair mask of indifferent confidence. "Hear that river?" You cupped a hand around your ear for emphasis. "I'm going to take a bath."

"You've no soap." Aemond looked you over dubiously, making you feel self-conscious despite yourself.

"You royals and your luxuries." You sniffed disdainfully. "I'm sure I'll manage."

"How will I know you aren't running away?" Aemond shook his silver head. "No, you're not going anywhere I can't see you."

"You're welcome to join me." You looked at him seductively through your lashes, the effect quite ruined by your state of current filth. "Aemond please. I smell like a barn set afire." You lifted your arms, shuffling toward him. "Give me a hug."

Aemond back away hastily, holding up his hands to fend you off, a begrudging smile curving his lips. "No no! Alright, go clean yourself. Take no longer than strictly necessary or I will come find you."

"Promises, promises!" You were already skipping down toward the river, giggling at the prospect of submerging your hot sticky body in cool water. You even tricked yourself into thinking you heard Aemond laughing behind you.

It was even better than you had anticipated.

A small pool surrounded by rocks and trees lay glistening sapphire beneath the afternoon sun, fed by a small waterfall. You quickly shed your clothes before wading into the cool waters. It was as though this little pool had been crafted by the gods specifically for you. You swam over to the other side of it, flipping onto your back, letting the silken water soak through your dirty hair.

The perfect plants for creating a sudsy lather from their crushed leaves were growing all around the river. You were quick to take full advantage of them, cleaning your grimy skin and sighing in relief.

Time passed, you had cleaned your body as well as your clothes and laid them out on the rocks to dry. You could see smoke curling above the trees from where Aemond must've set up camp. Smiling to yourself you swam laps around the edge of the pool, cupping your hands beneath the waterfall and running them through your hair.

"Y/N!"

"Shit, Aemond!" You didn't bother to hide your naked torso in the water, looking at him over your shoulder. "Oh dear, are you alright? You're turning an alarming shade of red."

"Enough games, Y/N." He crossed his arms, eye focused on your face. "I told you I would come retrieve you if you took too long."

"It's almost as if you don't trust me."

"I don't."

"Oh come on, Aemond." You grumbled, turning your body fully to face him, the water lapping around your waist.

Aemond couldn't help but glance down, passing a hand over his face and swearing lightly.

"You must be hot and dirty as well. Come on in, this river is big enough for the two of us." You waded fully back into the water, Aemond watched you move with an odd expression on his face. "You can trust me. We were childhood friends after all."

"You've changed." His tone made your cheeks flush. "Fine." Aemond began shedding his own clothing, seemingly not caring if you watched him undress.

"Splendid!" You gathered more fronds of the soap substitute you'd created. "There are plants here that I've crushed up to create a soap-like substance. We can wash your clo-"

In your distraction you hadn't noticed Aemond, devoid of any articles of clothing, wading over to the waterfall. He had already created a lather from the same plants you had used and was vigorously washing his long sleek hair beneath the cascading water.

"Well that's completely unfair." You spoke to yourself, your eyes roaming along the planes of his body.

He was lean, not broad and muscular like the men at the farm you worked at. The planes of his torso were defined, and you enjoyed watching the rivulets of water run down his pale skin.

"Suddenly shy?"

Your eyes flicked guiltily back up to his angular face. He had shed his eyepatch; a glittering blue gemstone lay within where his right eye used to be. You had left King's Landing before that had happened to him.

You moved through the water towards him, his hands stilled in his hair as he watched you approach. You noticed his plush lips part slightly, his lilac eye dilating slightly as he took in the sight of you walking slowly out of the water.

You were close enough to touch him now. Your fingers sought his face first. Aemond's eye fluttered closed as you traced his jaw, he caught your wrist before you could caress the vertical scar that ran over his eye. "Don't."

"Aemond." You said softly, your brow furrowing as you gazed at each other. You watched a droplet of sparkling water run down the sapphire gem, catching on his face like a tear. "Please." You breathed, not quite sure what it was you were asking for. Forgiveness? Acceptance?

"Why did you leave?" His voice was low, yet it cut through you like a knife. "I need to know."

"My family didn't want me to be Helaena's handmaiden. They pulled me away, and I didn't have a choice but to obey."

"You could've fought them."

"I was a child, Aemond. You know that's not true."

"Hmm."

Silence fell between the two of you, the rushing water splashing against your skin the only sound. Aemond's grip on your wrist loosened enough for you to cup his face once more. He hesitated, on the brink of something, before turning his head and placing a kiss to your palm. Your breath caught. "Kiss me."

He regarded you, his eye gleaming. You stepped closer, closing the remaining distance and pressing your chest to his, letting him feel your skin against his. You tilted your head up invitingly, your lips inches apart.

Droplets of water caught the sunlight, glimmering as they fell off Aemond's face. He bent into you, time seemed to slow, a rushing sound not at all to do with water filled your ears. You felt his soft lips press against your parted mouth. Your groans of relief vibrated into each other as Aemond wrapped his arm around your lower back, pulling your further against his body. You giggled, feeling the smooth skin of his back, trailing your hands up to tangle in his hair, pulling slightly on the soaked locks, eliciting a moan of pleasure from the prince.

"What have you done to me?" Aemond murmured, nibbling your bottom lip and along your jaw.

"Not one day has gone by I haven't thought of you." You arched your neck as he began sucking bruises to your throat.

He spun you around, pressing up behind you, his arousal evident against the curve of your ass. Water dripped onto your back, running in tickling rivulets down your sensitive skin. Your palms lay flat against the stone wall as Aemond bowed you beneath him, kissing a trail down your neck to your shoulders.

You felt his long fingers running up your legs, you widened your stance, parting your thighs for him.

"So eager." He purred, biting your shoulder gently. "You've been anticipating this for a while now, haven't you?"

Words escaped you as Aemond's fingers found your slippery quim, dipping into the nectar that was leaking from you, dragging a mewl from your mouth. You rocked your hips back into his touch, needing more of him.

"Patience, my flower." Aemond's mouth had found your ear, you turned your face into him, your hooded eyes focused on his lips. "I intend on savoring every inch of you, having you come undone around me until your legs can no longer hold your weight."

Aemond made more than good on that promise, the sound of the waterfall swallowing up your cries of pleasure as Aemond claimed you beneath its waters.

Your fingers were sore from where they had gripped the stone, in fact every muscle was aching in the most pleasant way possible. You felt lightheaded even now as you lay bundled in blankets next to the sparking fire, your head resting on Aemond's chest, his arms circled low around you, his dry hair falling over your throat in a silvery sheen.

You felt his fingers combing through your own hair, leaning into his relaxing touch, allowing your eyes to close as the firelight played warmly across your face. Your clothes were drying near the flames, Aemond's touch beneath the blanket moved to cup the swell of your breast tenderly. Beneath your head you could feel his breathing deepen, his fingers in your hair faltering and stilling.

You didn't know what the morning would bring, not wanting to think beyond this magic moment. When you and Aemond were two lovers alone in the forest, just the two of you. No politics, no jaded history, no dragons or kings.

Just a man and a woman who had always loved each other.

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robogart · 9 months

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My friend and I are watching lots of cartoons we never got to watch as kids lately, and our current watch of the moment is Batman Beyond which is SO GOOD HOLY MOLY!! Can't even list all the things that are amazing with this show 👏💖💖💖

But it's one of those where it's like...I KNOW why they made the characters teens (because there was (still is) literally no market for adult animation that wasn't punch-down comedy garbage) so they had to find a place to air it SOMEWHERE but good lord, I'm still just spending the whole show just being like "they're in community college because that makes so much more sense than having them be 16???" Good lord 🙄 They keep showing "HIGH SCHOOL" on the school building like it's a reminder to the producers and execs that they're following Children's Show Guidelines and then the whole rest of the show is just...SO DARK AND GOOD??? *Also added note : NO ONE IS DRAWN LIKE A TEEN??? It really makes this show feel like it was pitched for adults but was told to tone it down for children but they liked the designs so keep them???? Make it make sense people lmao BETTER YET! Just make them college students?? Done!!!

All this to say I'm still always mad that there just isn't more adult cartoons?? I feel so spoiled now that Gargoyles actually had all adult characters god I didn't realize how novel it was until we were watching it!

Anyways, Batman Beyond is great, totally recommend it! Just wanted to yell about it here for a moment haha! ^ w ^ Making some Terry and Maxine fanart now because...they have slow burn literally just written ALL OVER THEM 😭😭😭😭 Nothing against Dana, I think she's cute (love her design), she's sweet, but she has no real character development (so far anyways) and meanwhile Maxine is like RIGHT THERE!! She and Terry just CHATTING AWAY while he's driving around doing crime patrol??? Study buddies?? Confidants???? Slow burn let's GO 👏✨✨✨✨

#lmao delete later maybe??#dumb thoughts and yelling about batman beyond

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vote-democrat-president-congress · 2 months

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UPI: "The reason in encouraging the changes to ensure election integrity, the Carter Center siad, is that recent U.S. politics have been "tinged with an aggressive anger and virulent rhetoric that threatens to unravel the fabric of our society."

The guidelines listed are:

Making elections a national priority. The center said the nation's election system is critical to American democracy, so it's critical that "election laws and regulations be guided by principles of fairness that preclude partisanship."

Election laws and should be transparent and simple for the public to understand. One way to ensure the health of the nation's election system, the report's authors say, is to be "fully transparent." Saying that states and localities already have made "great strides" in delivering basic election information to voters, the report's authors say, "this work should continue on all aspects of the process, from registration of voters through certification of election results."

Expand access to voter registration. The center and institute said voter registration rules "should be structured to maximize the likelihood that eligible voters can be added to the rolls without complicated rules or restrictions."

Allow ballot casting to be simple for urban and rural populations. The report's authors said policymakers and election officials "should commit to finding a way to treat voters equitably - eschewing both a 'one size fits all' approach ... in favor of one in which there is "attention to ensuring that voters are not disadvantaged in obtaining or casting a ballot relative to others just because of where they live."

Have technology serve as a boost to voters not an obstacle. Noting that voting machines have become increasingly easier to use, the report's authors urge a design approach that would cover all voting technology, "like electronic poll books and ballot-on-demand printers" so that every step of the election process is accessible and flexible for all voters.

Encourage states and local governments that allow early voting to prioritize counting votes before the election. Saying that offering voting options over several days or weeks makes voting more resilient against potential attacks, the center urged that "communities that allow such ballots should have policies ... that ensure that as many as possible of these ballots (if not all of them) will be returned to election officials in time to be processed and counted as soon as reasonably possible." The center said that, ideally, this should occur before ballots are cast in person.

Make sure oversees voters and military personnel are able to be counted quickly. The center and the institute said states and localities should try to avoid unnecessary restrictions on the use of documents, "like the Federal Postcard Application or the Federal Write-In Absentee Ballot."

Keep the process of vote counting transparent and orderly. "Policymakers and election officials must continue to prioritize accuracy even as they strive to complete counts sooner," the report's authors said.

Conduct regular audits of the election process on the municipal level. The center said election officials should use the most up-to-date and available "techniques and best practices" to validate elections' reliability.

Use recognized best practice standards for elections. The report's authors said states and localities also should be open to having "nonpartisan and independent" election observers.

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eggcompany · 23 days

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I'm seeing too much stuff about fanfiction on tiktok, on here, on other platforms not to comment. I've been writing for nearly three years now which to some is AGES and to others is just beginning.

So let me lay it out.

I started writing when I was 16, struggling as a sophmore in high school, struggling with covid guidelines and the fear I felt as an immuno compromised person, and confused about who I was as a human person. I'd been reading fanfiction since I was 10, fascinated with sex and gender expression (I had free unrestricted internet acesss as a child). I'd been hopping from fandom to fandom, starting with popular ones that I didn't even know to ones I understood more and more. By the time I was 16, I was an expert. Clicking from link to link, bookmarking for later, filtering to the gods on ao3. I was confident sitting in the back of algebra II reading heavy smut on my cell phone.

By then I started reading newer fanfics, newer works with new words I'd never heard before when I read for fandoms that died back in the 2010's. Suddenly I wasn't a boy obsessed asexual genderfluid child. Suddenly I was an adult staring at myself in the mirror.

I had grown up on m/m writings, I was in love with the men on TV, I wanted the men from my shows and books. Suddenly I was an adult realizing that I attracted to men, that I wanted them. Suddenly I'm looking down at my hips and waist and chest and realizing that this wasn't the body I wanted pressed against another man's. Another man's. I wasn't in love with men as a girl or woman. I wasn't in love with women as a woman. I was in love with men as a man.

Tag by tag, reading and researching and reading more, I found the words, the resources, the culture. I was welcomed with open arms by those who'd been writing since I was born, by those in my same shoes, by those who were just happy to chat at 3am. I went from being alone in the world, by being so isolated I felt like no one would ever understand what I felt, to being apart of a community who loves me. A community who welcomed me, who praises me, who guides me, who loves me. I found a family who loves me as I am, no matter what I look like. I finally found a family who wants me.

I started writing and I found it almost therapeutic. As a real human person I am not just skin deep anymore. I'm more than that. I work through my issues through writing, I work through my feelings, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. And people understand. There is nothing more comforting than being understood.

Now I welcome new comers, I read untagged, horribly titled fics that are a few hundred words with messy smut scenes and awkward time skips.

And I love it. I love where I am, I love who I am, and I love everyone who helped me get here.

#fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #queer writers #queer community #fanfic writers #writers #fanfic writing #writing #writers on tumblr #cringe is dead

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maemele · 2 months

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It was one threat of many according to Matt, he picked a tame one, she deserved it because she has threatened other people in far worse ways before. She has been harassing people for months

Thank you for the clarification. I'm not going to completely dismiss the possibility of the predstrogen case in particular being this simple, because I truly want to understand the full picture, but there's a lot of context that needs to be considered.

From what I've seen, she was receiving harassment as well (that has still gone completely unaddressed). It's also worth quickly noting that Matt heavily implied that the threat against him (which would be the "tame" one) in particular was what triggered the suspension, stating this was the "most [important]" factor.[1] At the very least, this implies that there's more of an emphasis on protecting staff from harassment than protecting regular members from it (naturally, this should be equal, and anything less is highly unprofessional), at most it says this suspension was literally biased because it involved him specifically.

Additionally, from what I can piece together, she received multiple other suspensions without being provided a clear explanation why. (I think that's what the "bullied by Tumblr staff for half a year"[2] thing going around is, some of the details here are still foggy to me, if I'm still getting things wrong I encourage anyone reading to correct me in asks.)

Of course, There's still the whole tgirl and tboy thing I previously mentioned, which was likely manually put in place by a staff member. I'm bringing this up again because predstrogen's timeline photos were also marked as being in violation of community guidelines.[3] This timeline isn't the mistagged post that Matt mentioned, as the post was not sexually explicit, so this has still gone unacknowledged.[1]

Whether or not predstrogen's suspension was justified, there are other issues here that are quite worrisome.

[1] - "In predstrogen's case in addition to some mistagged sexually explicit posts, which on its own wouldn't be that bad, we have documented cases of harassment against other users. Most importantly, and why she is banned from Tumblr for life, is she made threats of violence against Tumblr staff."

*If other staff besides Matt received threats please let me know, my uncertainty on this detail is the main reason I'm saying it's "implied".

This also includes the statement about posts being mistagged.

[2] - "My friend Rita has been harassed by TERFs, and bullied by Tumblr staff for the better half of a year now."

*This would be a biased statement on the matter, but I do recall Predstrogen being suspended before (what I believe the second half of this statement is referring to), so I'm decently confident that the first half is reliable as well.

[3] - "Oh, and this should be saved, too"

*Screenshots would also be biased, for obvious reasons, shows transition timeline being marked as a violation of community guidelines, something that can be proven to have happened.

#predstrogen

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hackedrock · 3 months

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Monitor Your Dating Partner’s Call History

In the age of digital communication, understanding and navigating the dynamics of relationships have taken on new challenges. One such trend that has emerged is the monitoring of a dating partner's call history. This article explores the nuances of this practice, delving into its benefits, privacy concerns, and the delicate balance between trust and transparency.

Privacy Concerns

The ethical considerations surrounding monitoring a partner's call history are complex. While transparency is crucial, it raises questions about respecting personal space and individual autonomy.

Legal Implications

Beyond ethics, there are legal ramifications to consider. Laws vary globally, and understanding the legality of such actions is imperative to avoid legal consequences.

Trust Issues

Ironically, the act of monitoring can lead to trust issues if not approached with sensitivity. It's vital to weigh the potential harm against the benefits and explore alternatives to build trust organically.

Benefits of Monitoring Call History

One argument in favor of monitoring partner's call history is the promotion of communication transparency. It can lead to open discussions about expectations and boundaries, fostering healthier relationships.

Identifying Red Flags

Monitoring can serve as a tool to identify potential red flags early on. Recognizing patterns in communication can empower individuals to address concerns before they escalate.

Building Trust

Contrary to common belief, monitoring can contribute to building trust when approached collaboratively. It provides an opportunity for partners to demonstrate transparency and commitment.

Choosing the Right Monitoring Tools

With technological advancements, various monitoring tools are available. Understanding the pros and cons of apps versus traditional methods is essential for informed decision-making.

Features to Look for

When selecting monitoring tools, certain features are paramount. From call logs to location tracking, choosing tools that align with relationship needs is crucial.

User-Friendly Options

The accessibility and user-friendliness of monitoring tools play a significant role. Opting for tools that are easy to navigate ensures effective use without unnecessary complications.

Communication in Relationships

The foundation of any healthy relationship is open communication. Discussing the reasons behind monitoring call history and setting expectations can prevent misunderstandings.

Establishing Boundaries

Partners should collaboratively establish boundaries regarding privacy and monitoring. Clear guidelines help create a sense of security while respecting individual autonomy.

Addressing Concerns

Regular check-ins on how monitoring impacts both partner’s can address concerns promptly. Adjustments to the approach can be made to ensure a balanced and trusting relationship.

Your Partner's Perspective

The key to successful monitoring lies in mutual consent. Both partners should be on board with the decision, emphasizing the importance of shared values and goals.

Building Trust Through Communication

Trust is a dynamic aspect of relationships. Actively working on trust-building through open communication minimizes the need for constant monitoring.

Respecting Privacy

While monitoring is a choice some couples make, respecting each other's privacy remains paramount. Striking the right balance is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Overcoming Insecurities

Insecurities often drive the need for constant monitoring. Building self-confidence through self-reflection and self-improvement can alleviate these insecurities.

Seeking Professional Help

If insecurities persist, seeking professional help, such as counseling, can provide valuable insights and strategies for overcoming personal challenges.

Relationship Counseling

Couples facing trust issues may benefit from relationship counseling. A neutral third party can facilitate discussions and guide the couple toward a resolution.

Balancing Trust and Independence

Balancing trust and independence involves fostering individual growth within the relationship. Encouraging personal development contributes to a stronger partnership.

Mutual Support

Supporting each other's endeavors and dreams enhances trust. Mutual support creates a foundation where partners can pursue their goals while relying on each other.

Finding Common Ground

Identifying shared values and goals helps find common ground. This shared foundation strengthens trust and enables partners to navigate challenges together.

Dealing with Trust Issues

For relationships facing trust issues, rebuilding trust is a gradual process. Consistent actions that align with commitments can gradually restore the foundation of trust.

Establishing a Secure Foundation

Understanding the root causes of trust issues is crucial. Establishing a secure foundation involves addressing underlying concerns and working together to build trust.

Professional Guidance

In cases where trust issues persist, seeking professional guidance, such as couples therapy, provides an objective perspective and structured support.

Common Misconceptions About Call History Monitoring

Invasion of Privacy

One common misconception is that monitoring Partner’s call history is an invasion of privacy. However, in the context of mutual consent, it becomes a shared decision rather than an intrusion.

Lack of Trust

Contrary to belief, monitoring does not always indicate a lack of trust. It can be a proactive approach to ensuring transparency and addressing concerns

Learn more : Monitor Your Dating Partner’s Call History

Final Word:

In the end, monitoring your dating partner's call history is a complex practice that requires careful consideration. While it can offer benefits such as communication transparency and early red flag identification, it also raises significant privacy and trust concerns. The key lies in open communication, mutual consent, and respecting boundaries. Balancing trust and independence, addressing insecurities, and seeking professional guidance when needed are essential elements for a healthy relationship. Ultimately, the decision to monitor call history should be a collaborative one, emphasizing the importance of building trust organically.

#call history #hackerslistco #cheating partner #emailhacker #usa today

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contentment-of-cats · 11 months

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Dark Fandom: Frameups and Fakers

Great Mother of Sockpuppets.

Okay - here we go.

Frameups and Fakers

Peering over the rim of my coffee cup, I looked at these posts from last night and decided that it's time to add to the reading shelf.

Here's what happened, for the link-averse. False blogs were set up apparently to mimic BeeBee76, JadeSabre85, and Draculard (no blog to compare), then the actual parties were blocked by the fake blogs, preventing the real Jade, BeeBee, and Draculard from finding them. It is possible that these blogs are or could be used to send messages where anons are disallowed, divert traffic from the parties' actual blogs, or post content that is against community guidelines in order to get the parties deactivated by Tumblr.

Below are Real Beebee vs Fake Beebee and Real Jadesabre versus Fake JadeSabre. Drac does not have a Draculard blog on Tumblr, but is well known enough in the Thrawn, ST:TNG, and other fandoms with that name. In both cases, the elimination of a dash, or the last two digits of Jade's name leads to an empty blog where you would expect content. I use the search bar to go to someone's blog directly - I do miss my LJ feature where I could just click a name in the sidebar and boom!

Frameup 101

A frameup or setup is a maneuver designed to make someone appear responsible or divert blame for a given situation (such as a crime) using fabricated evidence and/or testimony.

I've also heard a frameup called a stitchup, though I'm not sure if that's a TikTok term or not. Generally, the person seeking to divert attention and frame another party is the perpetrator, though a third party may be acting to 'protect' the actual instigator and finds the framed party a convenient target.

Some of the techniques used in frameups include:

False flag - actions undertaken with a false identity, the intention being to blame the target person or group.

Joe job - old Usenet term for a spamming campaign using a spoofed email address.

Scapegoating - placing blame for one's bad actions on another party as the cause of said actions.

'Just asking questions' - questions designed to sow doubt or create chasms in a group of people. For instance, "But how do we know that there's not a nanochip in the COVID vaccine? There could be, and it could be used to see who is complying with the New Order. I'm just asking questions."

Casus belli - 'cause for war' actions or causes used to justify hostilities.

Gaslighting - manipulative behavior that over a period of time causes the victim to doubt their own powers of reasoning, validity of their thoughts, and even perception of reality. This leads to loss of self-esteem, stability, and self-confidence, leading to confusion and dependency on the gaslighter who is using the victim for their own advantage.

Red herring - information set up to be distracting and a distraction from the situation at hand.

Straw man - an argument or proposition intentionally misrepresented because it is easier to defeat than the actual argument.

In other words - know your bullshit because stalkers and trolls will use your credulousness to their advantage.

#mother of sockpuppets #fandom wank #f*ckery #dark side of fandom #internet stalking #internet harassment #counterfeit blogs #frame job

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 2 months

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By: Leor Sapir

Published: Feb 16, 2024

Last week, a therapist named Tamara Pietzke went public in The Free Press with disturbing allegations against her former employer, the MultiCare health system, and its pediatric hospital, Mary Bridge, in Washington State. Pietzke described an environment in which kids with severe mental-health problems and histories of sexual trauma and abuse were being put on a fast track to “gender-affirming” hormonal interventions. Clinicians with doubts that body-modifying hormones were the best way to help these children were silenced and asked to “examine [their] biases.”

In her article, Pietzke describes one case in particular, involving a young girl whom I’ll call “Ava,” as “one of the most extreme and heartbreaking” she had ever seen. The case illustrates three troubling features of the gender-affirming model: its use of a “minority stress” theory to cast severe trauma, mental-health problems, and neurocognitive challenges as irrelevant to decisions about hormonal treatments; the pipeline from first contact with a mental-health provider to the endocrinologist’s syringe; and the willingness of “affirming” providers to shirk the very medical guidelines that they claim to follow, at least when following them would mean not approving a teenager for hormones.

Additional details about what went on at MultiCare—details that have not yet been made public—are critical for understanding the sordid realities of “gender-affirming care” in the United States. Pietzke has shared with me e-mail communications she had with her supervisors and colleagues. These e-mails give valuable insight into the institutional support for a model of care that lacks even the most basic of safeguards.

Ava was 13 when she came to see Pietzke. She had been experiencing distress about her sex for about a year. She was diagnosed with depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, intermittent explosive disorder, and autism. Ava was barely able to communicate verbally, likely because of her autism, and seemed not to have any comprehension of the meaning of her appointment at the Mary Bridge gender clinic. In fact, according to Pietzke’s communications with her colleagues, Ava “did not express any gender distress or desire to transition in our sessions together.” She did, however, talk about the “Xenogenders [s]he identifies with. ‘It’s something autistic people made up. If you like a food, for instance, there’s a gender for it.’”

Ava’s past was saturated with abuse, neglect, and sexual violence. As a child, she had been sexually abused by a cousin, her mother’s former boyfriend, and a classmate. She told Pietzke that “horror and porn movies . . . were the only ones available in her house,” and that her mother “practices bestiality.” The mother had tried to kill Ava’s sister, who was also “questioning her gender,” in front of Ava, and now had a restraining order against her. The father was out of the picture, but the request to put Ava on testosterone came from him. The sisters, meantime, were being raised by the mother’s ex-boyfriend.

During therapy sessions, including on the first visit, Ava would rock back and forth and communicate with Pietzke by showing her “extremely sadistic and graphic pornographic videos on her phone.” The 13-year-old’s trauma was so severe that she would occasionally “age-regress” at home “by watching Teletubbies and sucking on a pacifier.” If there was ever a teenager whom even the most ardent of “gender-affirming” clinicians could agree is not a good candidate for medical transition, surely it was Ava.

Yet the Mary Bridge gender clinic approved Ava for testosterone on her first visit. Pietzke was incredulous. Ava had been all but incapable of verbal communication during sessions. How could the clinic possibly be confident that she understood the risks and uncertainties of hormonal treatments, even assuming these were forthrightly communicated to her? When Pietzke asked the clinic whether Ava had shown a clear understanding of what was going to happen to her, it abruptly assured her that everything was fine.

To receive hormonal interventions, adolescents must get a letter of support from a mental-health provider, confirming that they are in a stable state of mind and have no mental-health contraindications. In 2022, a social worker at the Mary Bridge gender clinic who is credited with increasing its patient caseload by 700 percent since arriving in 2019 said that the clinic conducts two assessments: a physical assessment, which involves lab work, and a “readiness assessment.” As the social worker explained, the point of the readiness assessment “is basically to break down any barriers, we try not to make it an additional barrier . . . We want to make sure . . . that when [patients] start gender-affirming care they can stay on it as long as they want to and we’ve addressed anything that would get in the way of that.”

Given the clinic’s avowed determination not to be “an additional barrier,” the only thing that can stop an adolescent without physical contraindications from being put on hormones is the absence of a letter of support from a mental-health provider. The staff at the Mary Bridge gender clinic made sure to instruct Ava to go to an “affirming” therapist for such a letter.

Pietzke considers herself an affirming provider—by which she means that she strives to create a safe environment for adolescents to express their feelings about gender. In her communications with colleagues, Pietzke would refer to Ava with male pronouns. She still uses “gender assigned at birth” when referring to sex. Yet her clinical judgment told her that Ava needed therapy, not hormones. On November 9, 2023, Pietzke sent an e-mail to Amber Rolfe, a therapist who oversees MultiCare’s gender program and serves on MultiCare’s DEI committee, the Belonging Advisory Council. Pietzke copied her supervisor on the e-mail.

Pietzke informed her colleagues of Ava’s troubled past, her ongoing mental-health and neurocognitive challenges, and the fact that she no longer attended school due to “being kicked out repeatedly” after threatening to kill herself and others. Pietzke “genuinely . . . want[ed] to do what’s right for [her] clients,” but she knew other countries had conducted comprehensive evidence reviews and were now taking a more cautious approach. The United States, she wrote, “does not have very good evidence” to support hormonal interventions. “From what I can tell, patients like the one I’m writing about are no longer offered hormonal treatments in these [European] countries.”

“I support transgender people and affirm them in who they are,” Pietzke continued, “but from what I’ve learned, there are many different reasons a patient can feel gender dysphoric. Additionally, given the health risks of testosterone therapy, I don’t want to sign a letter of support unless I know it’s the least invasive way to help this patient.”

Testosterone is a powerful agent. Some of its effects on the body are irreversible, and using it at the dosage required for sex-trait modification can lead to medical harm. Girls can experience irreversible changes to their voice, clitoral enlargement and chafing, atrophy of the vaginal walls resulting in severe pain and bleeding during intercourse, and chronic uterine pain that in some cases makes patients decide to get a hysterectomy. “My professional judgment,” Pietzke wrote, “tells me that my patient’s problems did not arise because of gender and will not be resolved through hormone therapy.”

In a training session on “gender-affirming care” she led a few weeks before receiving Pietzke’s e-mail, Rolfe had made it clear that therapists must always “affirm” their client’s “gender identity.” MultiCare, she emphasized, would tolerate nothing less. Pietzke wondered what, exactly, this meant. Was she supposed to set aside her clinical judgment and advocate hormones even for patients like Ava? What does it mean to be an affirming therapist?

Rolfe responded to Pietzke a few hours later. “I do want to share that we are going to disagree on the appropriateness of the writing a letter of support for this client,” she wrote, adding a smiley face. “While the trauma history reported is significant, there is no evidence that would suggest trauma contributes to folks misattributing their gender identity. I disagree with your understanding that gender affirming care is not well researched or that countries who have made recent changes are doing so based on research. There is a lot of research, and the medical and psychological communities have reached a consensus that gender affirming care is beneficial.”

Rolfe cited 25 professional U.S. health-care associations, the World Health Organization, and the Department of Health and Human Services, implying that all of these organizations would support a decision to approve Ava for testosterone. As for Pietzke’s mention of the changes in pediatric gender medicine abroad, Rolfe insisted that these were not due to “consensus of the medical and psychological communities” but to “political parties who use biased and disputed research to back their claims.”

Rolfe’s claims about changes in the treatment of youth with gender dysphoria in Europe are demonstrably false. Health-care policymaking in centralized welfare states like Finland and Sweden is usually more insulated from political pressures than in the United States, where doctors’ interest groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics and drug and medical device companies play an outsize role. Finnish and Swedish health authorities each conducted systematic reviews of the evidence and began revising their pediatric gender medicine policies when the Finnish Social Democratic Party and the Swedish Social Democratic Workers’ Party, both on the center-left of the political spectrum, were in power.

I asked Linda Hart, a liberal Finnish sociologist who closely follows the gender-medicine debate, about Rolfe’s characterization of what happened in her country. “Absolute rubbish!” she said. When COHERE, the body entrusted to assess health-care quality in Finland, issued its guidelines in June 2020, Hart noted, “the chairpersons of the Left Alliance (Li Andersson) and the Greens (Maria Ohisalo), who were ministers in [Prime Minister] Sanna Marin’s Social Democrat government at the time, expressed their disappointment in the guidelines for ‘creating barriers’ and decentralizing psychological support.” Hart emphasized that “politicians cannot direct what [a] body of experts is going to issue as guidelines and cannot change the guidelines.”

The next statement in Rolfe’s e-mail captures the true spirit of the “affirmative” approach, especially regarding its use of the “minority stress” theory. “Trauma history is not a counterindication of [hormone replacement therapy],” she wrote. “There is not valid, evidence based, peer reviewed research that would indicate that gender dysphoria arises from anything other than gender. . . . The diagnosis centers on an incongruence of gender identity and assigned gender at birth.”

It’s not clear what Rolfe meant by the circular claim that gender dysphoria is only caused by gender. I reached out to her for clarification but received no response. Nor is Rolfe correct that “incongruence of gender identity and assigned gender at birth” is sufficient for a gender dysphoria diagnosis, according to the DSM-5. She probably had in mind the World Health Organization’s ICD-11 classification of “gender incongruence,” which, unlike the DSM-5’s “gender dysphoria,” focuses on the mismatch between perceived and actual sex and not on the accompanying distress or difficulty functioning.

As far as Rolfe was concerned, a teenager having a subjective sense of “gender” that is different from his or her actual sex is enough to allow—or rather compel—therapists to sign off on hormonal treatment. In this, her view seems to accord with that of the author of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ policy statement on “gender-affirming care,” who has said that “the child’s sense of reality and feeling of who they are is the navigational beacon to . . . orient treatment around.”

Rolfe concluded by chiding Pietzke on her choice of language. It was not enough that Pietzke used male pronouns when talking about Ava. “Describing clients as ‘natal; female’ or ‘natal male’ (or similar terms like ‘biological’ female or male),” Rolfe explained, “is not culturally competent verbiage for this community.” Ava was “a 13-year-old trans boy.” (Diane Ehrensaft, a pioneer of “gender-affirming care” for children, says that kids who identify as the opposite sex actually “hate, and I mean hate, the word trans.” They prefer to be referred to as just boys or girls, in accordance with how they identify.)

Rolfe’s e-mail did not persuade Pietzke, but by that point it didn’t matter. Rolfe had referred the case to a risk-management team at MultiCare. This came as relief for Pietzke, who thought having a third party entrusted with health-care quality assess Ava’s case would surely result in support for her position. But to her surprise, the risk-management team immediately sided with Rolfe and transferred Ava to another therapist—presumably one who would write the letter of support for hormones.

Pietzke finally got her answer. To be an “affirming” mental-health provider, according to everybody at MultiCare with authority over this area of care, meant setting aside any reservations about the potential for harm from hormonal interventions and approving even patients with stories as extreme as Ava’s for testosterone.

In a follow-up communication with Rolfe, Pietzke revealed another detail about Ava. The 13-year-old said that her classmates “call[ed] her retarded because I’m a furry—running on all fours, jumping, that sort of stuff.” Furries, explains one researcher sympathetic to the subculture, “are people who have an interest in anthropomorphism.” The subculture has been linked to sexual paraphilia, an association some of its members reject. Regardless, there seems to be an overlap between the furry and trans subcultures. Rolfe’s response to learning about Ava’s furry-like behavior at school was that this was “not relevant information to gender identity or gender dysphoria” and not a reason to deny her testosterone.

Not willing to abandon Ava, Pietzke decided to write a letter of support—for additional therapy, not hormones. On January 2, 2024, she sent the letter to four people: her supervisor, the new therapist assigned to Ava, Rolfe, and Kim Cummins, the certified professional in healthcare quality (CPHQ) and senior risk manager at MultiCare who approved Ava’s transfer. Pietzke explained in detail why hormones were inappropriate for Ava. She even cited the relevant sections in the World Professional Association for Transgender Health’s (WPATH) Standards of Care in its eighth revision (SOC-8) that support her position. In previous communications with Cummins and Rolfe, Pietzke was told that MultiCare uses SOC-8.

Experts in evidence-based medicine have criticized SOC-8 as untrustworthy, and WPATH’s more outspoken critics have designated SOC-8 a dangerous document. SOC-8, for instance, falsely claims that a systematic review of evidence for pediatric transition is “not possible.” It recognizes “eunuch” as a valid “gender identity,” including in children, characterized by a sincere desire to be castrated. It also recommends untraditional genital surgeries such as “penile-preserving vaginoplasty” (a procedure that constructs a pseudo-vagina underneath the penis) for males who identify as “non-binary.” Within days of SOC-8’s release, WPATH eliminated all age minimums for hormones and surgeries except phalloplasty, later explaining that it wanted to shield providers from legal liability. Several European countries have now broken with WPATH and are developing their own standards of care, based on systematic evidence reviews and a more traditional understanding of medical ethics.

Not so in the United States. Here, SOC-8 has come under criticism from “affirming” clinicians as being too conservative. In the months leading up to SOC-8’s release, gender clinicians criticized WPATH for excessive “gatekeeping.” “The adolescent chapter is the worst,” one trans-identified doctor told the New York Times. Another complained that SOC-8 authorizes a “comprehensive inquisition of [trans-identified adolescents’] gender.” The International Transgender Health Group argued that the adolescent chapter “undermines patient autonomy.” Christopher Lewis, the endocrinologist at whistleblower Jamie Reed’s clinic in St. Louis, privately confided in his colleague that he had “no idea how to meet what would be the most intensive interpretations of the SOC,” meaning that he found SOC-8’s already-weak safeguards too prohibitive.

As for Pietzke’s dispute with Multicare, SOC-8’s Statements 6.3 and 6.12 would appear to support her decision not to recommend Ava for hormones. Statement 6.3 instructs mental-health providers to conduct a “comprehensive biopsychosocial assessment” and to recognize that “[a] process of exploration over time” might result in the adolescent not wanting to go through with hormones. The statement emphasizes that “[t]here are no studies of the long-term outcomes of gender-related medical treatments for youth who have not undergone a comprehensive assessment” and recommends an “extended assessment process . . . for youth with more complex presentations (e.g., complicating mental health histories), co-occurring autism spectrum characteristics, and/or an absence of experienced childhood gender incongruence.”

Statement 6.12 is even more explicit. It says that adolescents should possess “the emotional and cognitive maturity” to give “informed consent” or “assent” if a legal guardian provides consent. Assent is “a somewhat parallel process in which the minor and the provider communicate about the intervention and the provider assesses the level of understanding and intention.” Adolescents need to understand that they may experience a “shift in gender identity” over time. They must be able “to reason thoughtfully” about treatment prospects, including permanent loss of fertility, or impaired fertility, and irreversible physical changes.

In the original Dutch study that SOC-8 considers the best available evidence for pediatric gender transition, active parental involvement was deemed necessary—not only for legal reasons but also because the parents were assumed to know the adolescent best and could provide clinicians with critical information about the success or failure of each stage of transition. But in this case, neither Rolfe nor Cummins seemed to think that it was a problem that the adult providing “informed consent” on Ava’s behalf was her mother’s ex-boyfriend.

Mental-health problems, neurocognitive issues, difficulty coming to terms with one’s homosexuality, and a history of trauma can produce symptoms or experiences similar to those of long-term gender incongruence—making differential diagnosis essential. Section “d” in Statement 6.12, for example, “elaborates on the importance of understanding the relationship that exists, if at all, between any co-occurring mental health or developmental concerns and the young person’s gender identity/gender diverse expression,” as mental health concerns “may interfere with diagnostic clarity” and “capacity to consent.” SOC-8 deems it “critical to differentiate gender incongruence from specific mental health presentations, such as obsessions and compulsions, special interests in autism, rigid thinking, broader identity problems, parent/child interaction difficulties, severe developmental anxieties (e.g., fear of growing up and pubertal changes unrelated to gender identity), trauma, or psychotic thoughts.” Further, “Neurodevelopmental differences, such as autistic features or autism spectrum disorder . . . may challenge the assessment and decision-making process; neurodivergent youth may require extra support, structure, psychoeducation, and time built into the assessment process.” Though comorbid mental-health concerns do not have to be “resolved completely,” according to Statement 6.12, they should be relatively well-managed before medical interventions are considered. “A provider’s key task is to assess the direction of the relationships that exist between any mental health challenges and the young person’s self-understanding of gender care needs and then prioritize accordingly.”

Recall that Rolfe asserted the opposite: the only conceivable cause of gender incongruence/dysphoria is “gender,” and other problems such as “trauma, autism, [or] other mental health conditions” are not relevant to diagnosis or treatment decisions. At minimum, SOC-8’s more cautious language would seem to support a delay in medical interventions for patients like Ava and a more extensive assessment period. This isn’t to stipulate that SOC-8 is a reasonable or evidence-based guideline—it is not— but that the approach taken by “affirming” providers like Rolfe is even more extreme.

Rolfe responded to Pietzke’s letter of support for more therapy by denying that any of her concerns about Ava’s mental health and past were “relevant information to gender identity or gender dysphoria.” Pietzke wrote back to Rolfe on January 4, citing in even greater detail the relevant passages in SOC-8 and parts of the Cass Interim Report (e.g., page 57) that discuss the various pathways into and out of gender dysphoria. Rolfe did not respond. A few days later, Pietzke quit MultiCare.

I reached out to Rolfe and Cummins for comment. Neither responded. I also contacted representatives of the American Academy of Pediatrics, WPATH, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Medical Association and asked each if they agreed with the following two statements from Rolfe’s e-mail: “Trauma history is not a contraindication of [hormone replacement therapy]” in gender dysphoric adolescents; and “[t]here is not valid, evidenced based, peer reviewed research that would indicate that gender dysphoria arises from anything other than gender (including trauma, autism, other mental health conditions, etc.). At it’s [sic] core the diagnosis centers on an incongruence of gender identity and assigned gender at birth.” None of the organizations responded.

Two months after Pietzke’s exchange with Rolfe, the World Health Organization, which Rolfe also cited, released a statement clarifying that it would not issue guidelines on medical transition for minors, given that evidence for medical interventions in this age group was “limited and variable.”

I asked clinical psychologist Laura Edwards-Leeper what she thought of Rolfe’s e-mail exchanges with Pietzke. Edwards-Leeper is an Oregon-based therapist who chaired the WPATH child and adolescent committee ahead of the SOC-8 revision. She was also the founding psychologist of the nation’s first pediatric gender clinic in Boston.

“I continue to be astounded by the lack of appreciation among providers who serve gender dysphoric youth for the multiple pathways that can lead to gender dysphoria,” she told me. “This lack of awareness is particularly shocking given the shifts occurring in numerous European countries toward a more cautious approach. The clinical conceptualization provided by MultiCare’s gender-affirming care specialists and the lessons taught in the training given to Tamara and her coworkers are not only antiquated but potentially harmful for many of today’s gender distressed youth. Moreover, they suggest a gross misinterpretation of the current WPATH Standards of Care (version 8), which I helped develop.”

#Leor Sapir #Tamara Pietzke #MultiCare #whistleblower #gender ideology #gender identity ideology #queer theory #medical scandal #medical malpractice #medical corruption #gender affirming care #gender affirming healthcare #gender affirmation #affirmation model #mental health issues #mental illness #gender dysphoria #religion is a mental illness

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rohaniways1414 · 6 months

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Dua For Love Marriage According To Islam

Before digging into the significance of dua for love marriages, it is vital to understand that love marriages are permitted by Islam so long as they follow to Islamic guidelines. Love marriages that do not follow these guidelines are considered invalid. Love should be based on interactions that are halal (permissible), modesty, and the aim to form a pious family unit that adheres to Islamic values. These are the foundations upon which love should be built.

The Obstacles That Muslim Sisters and Brothers Come Up Against:

Muslim individuals who wish to marry the person they love frequently face numerous obstacles, such as parental disapproval, societal pressure, and cultural norms. These obstacles can make the path to a marriage of love appear difficult.

One of the most significant obstacles is parental objections. In many Muslim-majority cultures, parents play a pivotal role in the marriage process, and they may have specific expectations regarding the choice of a spouse.

Cultural norms and societal pressures can be restrictive. In some cultures, arranged marriages are the predominant and expected form of union, making love marriages appear unconventional or even unacceptable.

Some individuals may perceive love marriages as conflicting with Islamic values. While Islam permits love marriages, it requires that they adhere to Islamic principles, including modesty, consent, and the intention to build a pious family unit.

The fear of disapproval from the community or extended family members can be a significant obstacle. Some individuals may worry about facing social isolation or backlash for choosing a love marriage.

Dua for Love Marriage:

Here are some specific dua and supplication practices that can be impactful for those seeking love marriages:

Istikhara: Istikhara is a special prayer for seeking Allah's guidance. It can be recited to seek clarity and Allah's approval regarding a potential spouse. Trusting Allah's wisdom is key in this process.

Dua of Parents' Acceptance: Seek Allah's intervention to soften the hearts of parents who may be opposed to a love marriage. Pray for their understanding and acceptance of your choice.

Dua for Strength and Patience: Love marriages often involve facing challenges and obstacles. Pray for the strength to persevere through difficulties and the patience to navigate the journey.

Dua for a Blessed Marriage: Once you have found the one you love, make dua for a happy and blessed marriage. Ask Allah for His guidance in building a loving and harmonious relationship.

The Impact of Dua on Muslim Sisters and Brothers:

Strengthened Faith: Engaging in dua practices for a love marriage strengthens one's faith and trust in Allah's plan. It reminds individuals that they are not alone on this journey and that Allah is their ultimate guide.

Clarity and Confidence: Dua, especially Istikhara, provides clarity about the suitability of a potential spouse. This newfound clarity can boost confidence in the decision to pursue a love marriage.

Positive Change: Dua can influence the attitudes of parents and family members. Allah's intervention can lead to a transformation in their perspectives, eventually leading to acceptance and support.

Emotional Support: Dua offers emotional support and comfort during the often emotionally charged process of pursuing a love marriage. It helps individuals maintain patience and resolve.

In conclusion, dua for love marriage is extremely important for Muslim women and men who hope to wed their soul mates. It's a way to ask Allah for help along the way, as well as for guidance and protection from evil. It is possible to obtain the love and happiness one seeks while being faithful to Islamic values through practicing dua, the Islamic call to prayer. Keep in mind that dua, with Allah's permission, can be a tremendous force for love marriages in the Muslim community, but that the process requires patience, trust in Allah, and genuine intentions. You can visit our website to know more about duas and wazifas for love and marriage.

#astrology #islamic #dua

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influencermagazineuk · 6 months

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Celebrities and Social Media Controversies: Unveiling the Most Talked-About Moments

Social media platforms have become a double-edged sword for celebrities, offering them unparalleled connectivity with fans while also exposing them to intense scrutiny. In the ever-evolving landscape of digital communication, several celebrities have found themselves at the center of controversies due to the images they shared. Let's explore some of the most talked-about moments when celebrities dropped controversial images on social media: 1. Rihanna's Bold Fashion Choices: Rihanna, known for her fearless style, has often pushed boundaries. One of her controversial social media posts featured her wearing an outfit that sparked debates about body image, fashion, and self-expression. The image divided opinions, with some praising her confidence and others questioning the appropriateness of the attire. 2. Kim Kardashian's Provocative Photoshoots: Reality TV star Kim Kardashian has a history of sharing provocative images on social media, challenging societal norms. One of her most controversial posts involved a nude photoshoot, which ignited discussions about body positivity, feminism, and the line between art and explicit content. 3. Justin Bieber's Candid Moments: Pop sensation Justin Bieber has faced backlash for sharing intimate moments with his wife, Hailey Bieber, on social media. While some fans appreciated his openness, others criticized the couple for oversharing. Bieber's candid images stirred debates about privacy and the boundaries of celebrity relationships. 4. Miley Cyrus's Bold Transformations: Miley Cyrus has undergone significant transformations throughout her career, often reflected in her social media posts. From edgy fashion choices to controversial performances, Cyrus has sparked numerous discussions about artistic expression, identity, and societal expectations. 5. Cardi B's Unfiltered Lifestyle: Rapper Cardi B is known for her unfiltered personality, which she proudly displays on social media. From candid discussions about her personal life to sharing intimate moments, Cardi B's posts have generated both praise and criticism. Some view her openness as empowering, while others find it polarizing. 6. Kanye West's Cryptic Tweets: Musician and fashion mogul Kanye West has stirred controversy with his cryptic and sometimes provocative tweets. His social media presence has sparked discussions about mental health, artistic expression, and the responsibilities of public figures in the digital age. 7. Kylie Jenner's Glamorous Lifestyle: Kylie Jenner, a member of the Kardashian-Jenner family, has faced scrutiny for her extravagant lifestyle showcased on social media. Images featuring luxury cars, designer outfits, and lavish vacations have led to debates about wealth, materialism, and the influence of social media on young audiences. Credit: Instagram Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Q1: Why do celebrities share controversial images on social media? A1: Celebrities often share controversial images to express their individuality, challenge societal norms, or make statements about specific issues. Additionally, attention-grabbing posts can enhance their online presence and engagement with fans. Q2: How do fans and critics react to controversial celebrity posts? A2: Reactions vary widely. While some fans support celebrities' freedom of expression, others criticize them for inappropriate behavior, setting unrealistic standards, or using controversy as a publicity stunt. Q3: Are there legal consequences for celebrities posting controversial images? A3: In some cases, controversial posts might lead to legal issues, especially if they involve explicit content, privacy violations, or defamation. Celebrities often consult legal advisors to navigate potential legal repercussions. Q4: How do social media platforms handle controversial content from celebrities? A4: Social media platforms have guidelines against explicit or harmful content. Controversial posts may be flagged, leading to warnings, content removal, or account suspensions, depending on the severity of the violation. Q5: How do celebrities balance authenticity and controversy on social media? A5: Celebrities navigate a fine line between authenticity and controversy. While some value openness and vulnerability, others carefully curate their online image to avoid controversies that could negatively impact their public image and careers.** Read the full article

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theclarklawoffic1 · 7 months

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How to choose the right medical malpractice lawyer

The journey to seek justice and compensation after experiencing a medical malpractice incident can be emotionally and mentally taxing. Often, the key to a successful outcome lies in choosing the right legal representative. A proficient medical malpractice lawyer not only understands the intricacies of the law but also empathizes with the pain and distress of the victims. Here's a comprehensive guide to help individuals select a lawyer who will effectively represent their case.

Begin with research: Before diving into the vast sea of legal representatives available, it's essential to do thorough research. Several online platforms provide ratings and reviews of lawyers. Reading reviews and testimonials from former clients can offer insights into a lawyer’s abilities and the satisfaction level of past clients. Furthermore, bar association websites can show if any complaints or disciplinary actions have been taken against the lawyer.

Experience matters: Medical malpractice is an area of law. It's imperative to look for lawyers who have a significant amount of experience in handling medical malpractice cases. They should have a proven track record of success in representing cases similar to the one in question. An experienced lawyer will be familiar with the medical terminologies, the nuances of medical law, and the various complexities that might arise during the case.

Assess their communication skills: Effective communication is vital. An individual should feel comfortable discussing their case and concerns with their lawyer. The lawyer should be patient and willing to explain the various facets of the case in terms that are understandable to someone without a legal background. Their ability to communicate will be crucial during court proceedings and in negotiations with other parties.

Understand their fee structure: Lawyers often operate on a contingency fee basis when it comes to medical malpractice cases. This means they only get paid if they win the case or manage to get a settlement for the client. It's essential to understand the percentage they will take as their fee and if any other costs might arise during the litigation process. A clear understanding of the financial aspect can prevent any unwelcome surprises down the road.

Consider their resources: Medical malpractice cases often require testimonials from medical professionals, witnesses, and sometimes, independent medical examinations. A lawyer who has access to a network of medical professionals and witnesses can significantly strengthen a case. They should also have the resources to investigate the claim thoroughly, gather all necessary evidence, and prepare a compelling case for their client.

Ask about their approach to trial: Not all medical malpractice cases go to trial; many are settled out of court. However, it's crucial to understand a lawyer’s approach to taking a case to court. Some lawyers might prefer to settle, while others will be ready to go to trial if they believe it will benefit their client. Knowing their stance will help in making an informed decision.

Schedule a consultation: After narrowing down the choices, it's wise to schedule a face-to-face consultation. This meeting can provide a deeper understanding of the lawyer’s approach, their level of dedication, and their willingness to take on the case. It also offers an opportunity to ask any lingering questions and clarify any doubts.

Trust instincts: Beyond the experience and qualifications, it's essential to trust personal instincts. If something feels off or if there's a lack of trust or comfort, it might be a sign to continue the search. The lawyer-client relationship is built on trust, and it's vital to feel assured and confident in the choice.

In conclusion, choosing the right medical malpractice lawyer is crucial in ensuring that justice is served and compensation is obtained. By following the guidelines mentioned above and by being diligent in the selection process, individuals can increase their chances of finding a lawyer who will work tirelessly on their behalf. It's a decision that requires careful consideration, time, and research. With the right legal representation, the journey to justice becomes smoother and more navigable.

The Clark Law Office

Address: 910 W Ottawa St, Lansing, MI 48915, United States

Phone: (517) 575-8131

Business Email: [email protected]

Website: https://theclarklawoffice.com

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#Lansing personal injury lawyer #Lansing car accident lawyers #Lansing lawyer for car accident #Lansing personal injury attorney #Youtube

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chattingwiththelightkeeper · 8 months

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Will You Take the Educate & Engage Challenge?

In the digital age, the D/S lifestyle has found a virtual space where discussions, imagery, and connections unfold. While appreciating aesthetically pleasing content has its place, aka sexy/sexual pictures and videos, an essential aspect that often gets overlooked is the significance of education within the lifestyle. Let’s talk about the importance of embracing educational content over simply clicking "like" on alluring images and videos. To further emphasize the value of knowledge, it is time to introduce a unique challenge aimed at creating a balanced and enriching online experience.

Education plays a pivotal role in empowering individuals to make well-informed decisions regarding their participation in the lifestyle. A robust comprehension of fundamental elements such as consent, safety protocols, and effective communication is imperative to establish and maintain healthy and thriving dynamics within the realm of dominant/submissive relationships. Armed with knowledge,

individuals can navigate the landscape with confidence, ensuring that their choices align with their values and desires.

The D/S lifestyle often finds itself entangled in a web of misconceptions, often perpetuated by its portrayal in mainstream media. In such a scenario, education serves as a powerful tool to dismantle these myths, fostering a more accurate and nuanced understanding of the diverse practices and principles that define the community. By engaging with educational resources, individuals can cultivate a deeper appreciation for the intricacies of the D/S lifestyle, allowing them to navigate conversations and interactions with greater insight and authenticity.

At the heart of the lifestyle lies the emphasis on forming relationships built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. Education is a cornerstone in promoting the development of these healthy relationships. By highlighting the significance of open communication, setting boundaries, and nurturing a culture of respect within dynamics, education equips individuals with the tools to create and sustain meaningful, consensual, and fulfilling connections. Such understanding contributes to an environment where everyone can thrive emotionally and mentally.

Engaging in the lifestyle involves inherent risks that demand careful consideration and mitigation. Education serves as a crucial shield against potential harm, providing individuals with a comprehensive understanding of safety protocols, negotiation techniques, and effective risk management strategies. Equipped with this knowledge, participants can navigate their experiences with a heightened awareness of potential pitfalls and challenges, allowing them to make informed decisions that prioritize their well-being. Ultimately, education acts as a powerful agent in minimizing potential harm and maximizing the benefits of participating in the lifestyle.

To strike a balance between appreciating visual content and cultivating knowledge, I propose the "Educate & Engage" challenge. The challenge encourages individuals to approach their online interactions mindfully, harmoniously blending education and appreciation.

Challenge Guidelines:

Pairing Content: For every alluring or visually enticing image/video a person "likes" or engages with, they commit to reading an educational article on D/S lifestyle topics.

Selecting Topics: Educational articles could cover consent, negotiation, communication, safety practices, historical context, or any other aspect that deepens one's understanding of the lifestyle.

Sharing Insights: Participants are encouraged to share what they've learned from the educational articles in the comments section of the image they engaged with. This promotes discussions and knowledge sharing.

Benefits of the Challenge:

Encourages Balance: The challenge fosters a balanced online experience that combines an appreciation for visual content with a commitment to learning and understanding.

Community Building: By sharing insights and engaging in discussions, participants contribute to a vibrant and informed online community.

Elevates Conversations: The challenge elevates conversations beyond surface-level engagement, encouraging meaningful interactions that go beyond aesthetics.

Empowerment Through Knowledge: Participants become empowered with the knowledge needed to engage in the D/S lifestyle in a safe, consensual, and informed manner.

While appreciating alluring, sexy, and sexual images and videos has its place in the community, education holds the key to fostering understanding, safety, and respect within the lifestyle. The "Educate & Engage" challenge invites individuals to embrace the synergy between visual appreciation and knowledge acquisition, creating a holistic online experience that empowers participants with the insights required for meaningful engagement. By blending education with appreciation, we can nurture a community that thrives on mutual understanding, growth, and enriched interactions. Join in embracing the 'Educate & Engage' challenge, where every click of appreciation is coupled with an enriching educational journey. Let's create a community that thrives on both aesthetic appreciation and insightful understanding, fostering a space of empowerment, growth, and meaningful interactions within the D/S lifestyle.

As with all of my thoughts, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2023

#d/s relationship #dom/sub #bdsmblog #bd/sm community #bd/sm lifestyle #chattingwiththelightkeeper #bdsmlife #bdsmrelationship #d/s lifestyle #d/s dynamic #bd/sm relationship #d/s #educate & engage #my writing

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prpfs · 11 months

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🎤💫 Looking for someone who’s interested in doing a romance/smut rp with characters from idolish7 !! Plot can be as dark as you want it to be. I do prefer equal amounts angst to fluff though.

This will be a MxM & fandom discord rp. I’m specifically looking for a dom/top Kujo Tenn to play against my sub/bottom Nanase Riku !!

Plot :: a pining Tenn who takes advantage of an inebriated Riku. Maybe the guilt following after, & a confused Riku who only craves more of his Tenn-nii’s touch. They start a FWB thing but eventually Riku reciprocates his twin’s romantic feelings. But I’m open to other ideas too! Do keep in mind I haven’t watched past Season 2 however.

General warnings for brother/twin incest and dubcon. Fine with either PWP or something with more plot. Open to AU’s with fantasy/supernatural themes. Not required but I’d love to write an age gap with a 🫶 Riku if possible.

🍩 Guidelines 🍓

Please be: 18+, OOC friendly, communicative of your rp wants & needs, contributive towards plotting and headcanons, confident writing lots of dirty talk

Leave a like, and anon will get back to you!

#idolish7 roleplay #idolish7 rp #fandom roleplay #fandom rp #cc x cc #m/m #dead dove

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20dollarlolita · 2 years

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Is the Dollar-Chan Pattern School open to all sewists with questions looking to learn, even if they're not exclusively lolita-focused?

Okay, so my first reply was a formatting mess, check the notes for a reblog where I fixed that. Original is now under a cut.

Yes, but it still is a lolita-focused idea. You will pick your own patterns, within my guidelines. However, it's definitely going to be a case where people who are making lolita are the target audience, and people who are making other things are guests who are participating in part of the event

A lot of this is going to be taking an existing pattern and making it fit as a lolita garment. If you personally want to take the instructions for taking a pair of shorts and adding incredible volume and poofy little cuffs to it, and make that into something other than lolita bloomers, that's your right, but my instructions are absolutely not going to say, "and if you don't want to make bloomers, you can--" because who doesn't want to make bloomers?

There's going to be lolita-specific resources, the same way there are on this blog. I will go on at length about twill and lace and all of that will be framed in an EGL context. The passion of my blog is to get people who are interested in lolita fashion, but are intimidated by the price, to have the power to save money by making their own lolita items.

This also currently has an eventual goal of being confident at using Japanese lolita patterns published in places like GLB and OnS. For a western user to do these confidently, they need to know how to read a pattern, not just read instructions, and they need to know how to measure themselves against a pattern and make the pattern fit their body. That's the first two major skills that we're working towards.

That said. Sewing is sewing and I want people to have fun sewing. Sewing skills are universal and I want people to have them. I'm not going to stop and tailor the work for people who aren't interested in lolita and if you shit talk lolita i will ban your fucking ass because we don't do that in my server. I'm not going to make you wear it, but I will expect you to respect it.

If you've never been to a lolita meetup, you've probably never seen the small group of people wearing jeans, who are friends with the lolita-clad folks at the party but who don't wear the fashion. They're usually the Boyfriend Crew, though not exclusively, and they're usually happy to take coord photos and are generally part of the group in some way. If they can laugh when I call my parasol my "Kelly Eden Parasol because I got my dollar-to-yen wrong" then they're part of the group even in t-shirts. I'm not going to kick the Boyfriend Crew out of a meetup and I'm not going to kick the...non-lolita crew out of the group. But at the end of the day you need to be ready for a lot of this to be entertaining for you, but not for everything to be something that you're interested in. I would love the fringe audience to be interested and enjoy

Yes, sort of? Yes? But also Yes? Okay. So.

First of all, the Dollar-Chan's Pattern School posts that I put on this blog can absolutely be followed by anyone who wants to learn more about using and modifying patterns, and learning to read patterns by the pattern instead of the instructions.

The passion of my blog is to get people who are interested in lolita fashion, but are intimidated by the price, to have the power to save money by making their own lolita items. That is the audience that I'm building this towards. There's going to be lolita-specific elements in this project. However, I do recognize that the idea of learning to use and modify patterns appeals to more than just that audience.

As for the Discord community, so far there's plenty of people who appreciate the lolita aesthetic but don't really want to wear it. That's fine, but I am going to be clear about one thing: If you shit talk lolita fashion then I will ban your ass. I deal with that when I go out and so I'm not going to deal with it in my own discord.

If you've never been to a lolita meetup, you've never seen the number of people's plus-ones who are wearing t-shirts and jeans and who are totally happy to take pictures and hold parasols and share in the jokes, but who aren't interested in wearing the fashion. This is pretty normal and it's fun to have people in that position along, but they're also sort of like guests at someone else's house. The party isn't going to cater to them, but they're welcome to enjoy the parts of it that they're interested in.

So yeah, if you're okay with that, then I think it'll be fun. If you like how I write and how I share information, then you'll like folowing along. But, I mean, step 2 is going to be taking an elastic shorts pattern and adding fullness to make bloomers. If you don't want to make bloomers, you're on your own for figuring out what to do with giant pumpkin pants. So, just go into it knowing that. One of the first big goals is going to be working off Japanese patterns and dealing with the main issues of the pattern being too small and in a different language. Go into it knowing that, too. We'll get to making patterns too, but I'm going to be teaching it as making lolita patterns. And I think you'll have fun if you are aware of all the limitations and aware that I'm not going to change the focus on lolita even if there's pressure to change it. In the beginning, this blog was a way to motivate myself to make more lolita things for myself, and it's still that in its own way.

#dollar chan's pattern school

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