It Wasn’t A Joke
February 14th 2024
This sucks sm lol
(Plain text under cut)
He asked me how I view my brother
I told him we were practically roommates
He laughed, he found it funny
But it wasn’t a joke.
She listened as I talked
I brought up the scarring things I’d seen
I laughed and played it off as silly
But it wasn’t a joke.
Mother spoke to me in a café
In a moment of spontaneity, she jested;
“You don’t like me”
I smiled…
But it wasn’t a joke.
I smile for peace,
I smile to be polite,
I smile to make it easier for them,
But it is never a joke.
I treat my life as a joke.
It’s easier that way.
Isn’t that funny?
8 notes
·
View notes
What scares you? What makes you uncomfortable?
The dark? Heights? Uncanny behaviors? Water?
What about movie theaters? Skating rinks? Playgrounds at night? The town you grew up in? Your own room?
Do you constantly feel cold concrete on your skin, scraping away at a few layers?
Do you know how painfully hot another’s hands can be on your cold bare skin–
A burn that feels like a branding?
Does carpet burn still vividly sting for you even years later?
Have you ever felt a fear so primal you no longer felt human?
Have you felt like prey before?
Like it didn’t matter if you fought, ran, or even played dead?
No matter what, you are doomed to be devoured?
Can you imagine how terrifying it is to be prey?
2 notes
·
View notes
kitty on my lap
my legs have long since fallen asleep
but so has she
3 notes
·
View notes
I think that love is fragile
And maybe that's why the fate that connects us
Is represented by a thread
Is it worth it to weave a daydream out of it
I have only worn armours of steel
Before the day you gifted me these gloves you had knitted out of a yarn ball
I love how no matter how strong steel is it can never be as warm as these gloves you gave me on that winter morning
8 notes
·
View notes
And I can bear it all,
I can turn my back on it all,
His anger,
His pride,
His torrential rage,
Even his apathy,
All the while admitting it hurts, but
Mama,
Oh, mama
I cannot bear his tears.
No one told me acceptance came with tears.
So when they slipped out of his eyes,
So gently he didn’t even blink,
I had no rehearsed response to protect me from myself.
Medicine taught me compassion, it did not
Teach me how to love.
Pulling the fingers of my hand away from his cheek
My past is screaming for her overturned sacrifices.
His shoulders,
His broad back, unshakable
Racked with tremors,
Convulsing sobs,
I’ll haunt myself until the day I die.
Rocking back and forth as if stifling madness,
And when I couldn’t anymore,
Tightly covered my mouth and screamed into my hands.
It might have felt better to cut my chest out.
Short of breath I used what I had to beg over and over
The only way I knew
Allahumma inni as’aluka al’afiyah,
O Allah I ask you for afiyah,
Please make this easy for me.
I beg of you make this easy for me.
5 notes
·
View notes
i just saw this tweet and my brain obviously thought about juwon kissing dongsik's scar on his thigh reverently, eyes closed at first then looking up at him with adoring eyes while dongsik keeps his eyes on him and strokes juwon's hair gently, a smile on his face that rivals the one he gave during the arrest scene ಥ_ಥ
anon you have no idea how much this is one of my favorite images in the whole world, i could write circles around the image about joo won and dong sik's scars and also dong sik just being . . . quietly happy and also in awe/love of this silly fool who's attached himself to dong sik's entire personhood . . .
also not to plug, but i think i loved this image for so long that this was actually one of my first beyond evil fics
12 notes
·
View notes