#it’s not my depression this time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

calamitys-child · 2 months

Text

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

#other good ones are crocuses and lilacs #one time I was ill and depressed and my mum brought me a lil milk bottle full of fresh cut sweet peas from her garden 💖#i like that theyre colourful and i like climbing plants and they smell amazing #posts brought to you by me going to the park on my lunch break just to see all the crocuses

34K notes · View notes

stil-lindigo · 8 days

Text

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

12K notes · View notes

greykolla-art · 3 months

Text

Don’t know if I ship it, but I do want them to have as many scenes together as possible…

#grey art #fan art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin lucifer #hazbin alastor #the radio demon #radioapple #duckiedeer #both of those are cute ship names1!#they are living in my house all the time #their power dynamic is way interesting #cause Alastor HATES when powerful people don’t respect him #and lucifer is just a depressed king who can’t help it!#he’s been going through some stuff he can’t keep up with everything his citizens are up to.#I love them

4K notes · View notes

vodkatales · 2 years

Text

For old times sake is actually such a heartbreaking and beautiful sentiment. Like, let’s do it for the love that used to be here. It is reason enough.

69K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 8 months

Text

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

6K notes · View notes

xiewho · 1 month

Text

no time to celebrate

#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason #i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside #BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!!#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes #they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz)#so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up #joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real #dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die #i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years #my art

2K notes · View notes

vulcan-moon · 1 year

Text

happy holidays from garfield and miku (:

#my art #digital art #fanart #garfield #miku #hatsune miku #vocaloid #garfposting #christmas #originally planned to print these as cards for friends but uhhhhh #depression hit read bad bc this is the first christmas im spending all alone #and its a Very bad time of year for me lol #so i just did not finish it until today #and its too late to get cards printed now so #yeah #anyway enjoy lol #portfolio

17K notes · View notes

the-rainbow-of-doom · 5 months

Text

(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)

#I'm so frustrated how little time and energy i have after a day is done #i didn't win the fight against depression to have lofe ruined by THAT now #lacking time and energy to go on job hunt.. it's all very small steps only #a part time job would be marvellous but what flat can be paid with that #maybe also my anxiety is stopping me from getting a new job. what if i get fired. what if it's horrible there. ahh.. i need more courage #mine capitalism #anti-capitalism #work

3K notes · View notes

h1hikari · 2 months

Text

* You have found a parchment with a little story about a mysterious demon in a mask.* ㅤSo that's who you saw a couple of days ago!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDid you think that was it? Nope :D

I tried to make a good design because I was planning to use it for a portfolio, and then I remembered that I wasn't actually going to be a character designer, so I relaxed and just had fun >:)

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk au #six eared macaque #I love it when my depressive episode accidentally goes into remission for a month and during that time I try to draw something gigantic #It was just that moment

1K notes · View notes

bamsara · 10 months

Text

you know what i mean

#sara shush #doodles #maybe its executive dysfuntion maybe im unmedicated maybe its my chronic illness but i am having a hard time doing Anything #and im blaming hte weather #where are my clouds #pls may i have thunder #summer is genuinly doing the worse for depression

4K notes · View notes

bittwitchy · 1 month

Text

some new sad girl guy spring dialogue for sebby!

also bonus bc its summer 13 now and i already gave him a bouquet

#I was at 5 hearts on spring day 23 year 1 #as it turns out if you're lucky you can get a ton of flounder really early now to give him a lot of liked gifts #i'm like 99% sure these are new #i dont recall seeing them before with OR without mods #I'm playing without mods rn tho #stardew valley #sebastian stardew valley #sdv spoilers #1.6 spoilers #1.6 update #stardew valley 1.6 #sdv 1.6 #like every time i've asked seb out before its been 'i cant believe you feel the same way' so like #i'm FAIRLY positive this is new #or i've just never been lucky enough to get alternative dialogue #MY GUYYYYY #depression cw #1k

1K notes · View notes

molly-pocket · 22 days

Text

#mommy issues #it’s my first time living too #girlblogging #hell is a teenage girl #girlhood #this is a girlblog #this is what makes us girls #lana del rey #depressing shit #just girly things #escaping reality #i hate everything

677 notes · View notes

t4t4t · 2 months

Text

Idk new post bc the last lost traction, no donations in a week. We need 450 for the rest of February, 450 for a deposit, and 950 for March, 50 for the rest of the utilities. We were homeless since Aug 2020 excepting 4 different months whose places fell through for various reasons, have to get rid of the van we were living in because it's falling apart, Collie got FFS December 28th, she's recovering well and maybe could do something with a car if we had a better car, given her ability to drive. I still haven't found much work but I'm still looking. Anything helps.

paypal.me/NoraEstherRose

venmo: nora-esther-rose

venmo: Leah-Esther-Rose

#i wish i could get a loan ? i hate how little my parents have ever helped me. we rely too much on collies mom who can only do so much #we both have various disabilities we still are in the process of understanding.... i hope i get adhd meds soon. :(#we havent been able to afford better anti depressants for over a week now. i hate feeling dependent #i wish it were a prescription.... stupid world. stupid time

960 notes · View notes

insignificantfailure · 2 months

Text

im so fucking useless