#it’s not the first time & ik it won’t be the last time i'll see these kind of comments

[dark-muse-iris]

Pre-dystopian era truly encapsulates pre 2020 now doesn't it? 😂 The things the last 2 almost 3 years have brought forth in humanity is 👀 disappointing at the best of times.

I'm surprised to see just how the app has changed, as I haven't had the chance to hop on desktop just yet. It seems...almost functioning? No more character limit on asks is nice as now I don't have to break this into 6 different messages 😂 New settings and everything else to try and figure out.

I've turned 24 this last July, and the last time I was truly active on here I was 21 so the personal growth and loss that have come with that is interesting for sure. I've lost both my grandmas in the past year and my living grandfather has already remarried (oh boy the family drama that caused), moved twice and live with my boyfriend of 3 years, have gone NC with his narc family and LC with mine as best as possible, started a job that has me earning the most I ever have financially but definitely have cost a part of my soul 💀😂 and I'm trying my best to get to a place in my life where I'm debt free and in a industry I actually love and care for (cannabis and growing it) and get my boyfriend the disability coverage he needs but I'm sure you're well aware that its a poor joke of trying to get that approved. So on some notes, its been good and I've changed into a better person but also if anything bad happens in 2023 I'm very fragile about it 😂😅

I understand the "striving for mediocrety" as a workplace mentality, and just how exhausting it can feel with wanting to bring better things to the office and just getting shot down. The old dodgers of "this is how we've always done it" dont always seem to realize that doing the same thing for 40+ years only works when the system isn't as broken as it is (or if it even worked in the first place). Is being remote going to give you the chances to take care of your sleep issues and anything else health related thats popped up for you? Ik last I checked you were doing the testing to see if it was more than standard narcolepsy.

(I'll probably message again and finish my thoughts but I am night shift and my break just ended so I gotta head back. It's so nice talking to you again ☺️💕)

I’m sorry to hear about your grandmas. I lost two of mine since 2020 and it’s been really hard on the family. If my grandfather had remarried that quickly, I’d be scratching my head as to how they were able to make it happen. My grandfather doesn’t appear to be dating, but that’s likely because 1) he cooks, and 2) he’s got stage 4 cancer, courtesy of U.S. chemical warfare in Vietnam.

As someone who works in a soul-sucking job that pays well, let me just say: it’s worth it. It is absolutely worth it to have a full belly and warm place to sleep during recession years. When I worked in industries I loved and didn’t have enough to eat, I resented my dreams and hated myself for having them. Letting those dreams go gave me the chance to have other dreams and I’ve been able to forgive myself for being so hard in my early 20s. It can take years to get the life you want, so don’t let anyone shit on you for doing what you have to do to eat in the meantime, especially anyone of the older generations who did their part to suppress our standard of living.

The insistence on clinging to broken systems of the past is one big reason I transferred jobs. There’s a lot of that still going around. My managers were panicking and kept asking why I was leaving; I think they finally understood how far I’m willing to go to make sure “office culture” won’t waste my time anymore. For me, being a remote employee streamlines my workflow and reduces my workplace accommodations for narcolepsy by half. It’s also much easier to manage my ADHD at home where I can remove distractions. In the office, no one was working on our job shit; everyone just gathered around to talk about their kids or health problems or ridiculous work drama they didn’t plan on fixing themselves. I had forgotten how much time people wasted just bitching for nothing. When I hear a complaint, I want to fix the problem and get rid of it, but that wasn’t a good fit. My colleagues wanted free therapy from someone their kid’s age because *surprise* their kid isn’t talking to them anymore.

I’m hopeful for cannabis and glad you’re pursuing the field! It’s not fully legal where I live, but I have many chronically ill family and friends who rely on it because they can’t take meds or afford the healthcare they need. I have some family who are growers in different states where it’s allowed and they’re happy with the work they’re doing. I never had the green thumb for that; I’m the only who would take dead grass and make a basket out of it.

#iris answers

[cheolism]

for me, i was always aware of kpop but no groups really caught my attention until mamamoo but i didn’t really follow up with them until i got into ateez and started finding about more groups

the testing went okay, there were news reporter at the place i was taking the test and was praying they won’t ask me about how it went cuz i’d probably bawl my eyes out. the results don’t come out until the 27th which is pretty nerve wrecking but i think it’ll be fine, after that (hopefully) the next time i send an ask i’ll be a uni student woohooo honestly why’d no one ever say about how hard it is to choose a major 😭😭 losing my mindddddd

HOW DO YOU DO IT

OMG!! i was wondering abt you!!! i'm happy to see you back !!! <3

i didn't really know abt kpop until 2016. i'm not sure if i even knew it existed?? that's so cool that ateez was your first group!!! what was your first comeback w them???

and omg!! yay uni!!!!! i hope for positive results omg!!!!!! i wish i could tell you that there's no use in worrying because that won't help, but ik that's just a load of bullshit and you'll worry regardless lmao

i also applied to a uni!!! and i'll also reveal some of my backstory lmao so!! at 18 i chose a program that would open doors to a job that offered job security and good money and healthcare and all that jazz!!! but the program!! fucking made me extremely mentally ill. the time i started writing on tumblr was one of the darkest points in my life, and it was. very bad! i won't go into details!! but i tried to stay in the program because, at that point, i had put two years into it and i knew my family really wanted me to go through with it. i knew it was the best option for me and my skills.

but during july a few things happened. my grandpa fell and broke his hip and that like. idk? snapped something into me? and it made me realized i needed a job where i felt fulfilled as a person, where i was able to do the things that i love. so, without telling anyone in my family, i dropped out of my program and got with an advisor and made plans to switch into the liberal arts department and focus on getting an english diploma. i told my family everything after i had solidified the plans (don't do this!! i didn't do this on impulse. i did tons of research on the requirements for an english bachelors and the best way to do it and what everything i would need to do, etc. i don't do big steps impulsively, no matter what it seems like). and this spring i will be finishing up one half of my degree and come autumn i will be at uni beginning to do the second half of my english bachelors and getting a teaching certificate!!! i'll also probably try to do a minors in history.

all this being said: you don't know what you want to do. at 18 i went into the first program knowing i didn't want to do it but trying to bear it because it was the best path to try and get myself into a better financial and social standing than my parents. but it wasn't until literally four months ago? that i knew for sure that i couldn't do the program and i wanted to do something i loved.

i don't know how college works in your country!!!! and idk if you've already been going through college!! but i strongly recommend just getting the general things out of the way before you even think about worrying about what you want to do. through doing general coursework you can get an idea of what you like to do and what you're good at. i really believe in getting all the facts of something before you make a decision, and i recommend getting all the facts about who you are, what you like and what you love, before trying to commit to something that'll last a lifetime.

#katie: talks #from runneren #ask #long post #— jupiter is talking

[coffeeshib]

Hi, Nic! :)

I just saw your tweet about the comment(s) on your fic (i’m doing this on tumblr bc my twitter account is a “private” one and you wouldn’t have read what i posted if i did) and damn people are so rude and un-empathetic it’s just embarrassing, i’m really sorry you have to read that…

Speaking for myself, i was waiting for your fic and asking you about updates of the wip on anonymous asks bc i was really interested on it and your writing, given the fact i’ve recently re-discovered the fandom and your works on ao3! I even read the entire fic on one take so you can imagine and i can truly tell you that it became one of the best fics i’ve read (i even put it on my lists of favs in my phone’s notes so you can imagine).

Anyway, what i am trying to say is that even tho there is people who just want things their way and don’t fucking thank the creators and their incredible work, there is a huge amount of people that do and seriously appreciate what you do (and i know you normally feel sceptic about this kind of things and comments but it is true!)

And let me reiterate the fact that THAT PERSON COULD HAVE JUST DOWNLOADED THE FIC AND READ IT JUST HOW THEY WANTED IT giving backhanded “compliments” or “criticism” like that it’s just plain rude.

(Sorry if there are sentences that don’t make sense, English is my second language but it’s been ages since i wrote something this long)

omg i’m definitely not crying in the club right now!!!!!!

#thank you 🥺 i appreciate you. you didn't have to write me (such a lovely msg) but you did! #HONESTLY that tweet - i meant to tweet it on my priv. when i came back i was getting notifs & i was like OH NO tweeted on wrong acc 😳 #i just wish they'd never commented in the first place or that i hadn't seen it. was really hoping to be productive today & #get some writing stuff done but it's alright!! i'll get over it. another day i guess :') #mood got bonked #it’s not the first time & ik it won’t be the last time i'll see these kind of comments #that's just how it is as a content creator i think ahdjasdh #i forget people can be so unkind & entitled i was just shocked & bothered more than i should be #showed too much em*tions today it's embarrassing #anyway!!! #bro i really am grateful & touched you took the time to write me this!!!!! thank you i'm keeping this close to my chest 😤 #i hope you have a lovely lovely day!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞 #oh & btw your english is amazing!! you're good you're perfect & i'm l*ve you

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Do you think Louis will get his time to shine....

I was a larrie for a while and every time I'd see sentences like "oh Louis will get a chance soon" " Louis time to shine will come" ..... And these were by louie larries bc h leaning larries don't really care about Louis and just want him to do manager or bts work...

I unlarried a while ago...bc I just grew up ig it's just very weird speculating about someone's life especially for someone like who found the idea of obsessing over celebrities wierd and obsessing over their love life was the epitome of madness... Idk why I fell into the Larry ship hole....

But I was pretty into the whole 1d thing and Larry like I never was a fan girl of anything major (except for hp but again I was never into a fandom cuz of it.. It just me reading ho books and watching movies.. And getting hp stuff just wasn't this Obbsesive and j didn't really share it with anyone ) ......

But now it's just disappointed in myself for spending so much time money and energy into something which doesn't even make me happy anymore and I get growing out of things but this doesn't feel like that... (For example I stopped supporting jk Rowling after her whole transphobic comments and shit I sold all my hp books and merch but I have no bitter feelings towards it or anger towards myself like if a hp movie is on tv I'll watch it ) but it's not like that with 1d .... I look back at 1d and it's bittersweet... I can't enjoy the mvs or the music.... It just feels wierd....

Same with h he annoys me sooo much i always liked him the least... Larry was like the only redeeming quality of his to me (he seemed too narcissistic for my liking)

So.... The point of alll this ranting is how do u remain positive.... As a louie...

Watched sooooo many celebs on hslot today it did give me a sour taste in my mouth

I've never really had been in a fandom (for any shows or celeb) so 1d was like the first thing where I actually liked someone and THEN they became famous and I got to make loads of friends n shit so.... The turning of events in the last 6 years disappoints me soooo much

And ik I make it sound so dramatic but I just needed to rant also don't post this it'll just bring drama.....

I just needed to rant in hopes of not feeling so bitter about things :)

If you read this absolute vomit of words this far I truly respect you. Also thankyou for actually reading this . Hope u have a good day and only good things happen to the ones who truly deserve it

Hello!

[[MORE]]

Harry Styles is now so saturated and inescapable in pop culture that he actually feels oppressive to me. Of course, I say this as someone who dislikes him and his tactics, so I understand my negative bias and I don’t expect others to feel the same way. To me, Harry is a source of an emotional trauma that’s constantly rubbed in my face, mostly because of my personal experiences in this fandom. It would be easier to walk away. Unfortunately, I’m not that kind of person.

Having said that, I would say all of the other 1D guys have some post-Harry Styles, post-1D traumatic syndrome in their own personal ways, just expressed differently. Even Niall’s casual joke has to be done in a way that’s complimentary to Harry, and that itself feels (to me) like the oppressive reach of industry power, a type of trained self-censorship that reifies the structure of power.

(I won’t go into detail about Liam, Louis, Zayn etc. because it’s all been documented ad nauseum.)

For a 1D fan, to see the 1D men’s relationships revealed as tiered power dynamics is disillusioning, but this is industry 101.

Bands have broken up before. The Beatles often talked shit about each other. It can get divisive and ugly. But before the internet, industry didn’t have the instantaneous and overreaching power of digital manipulation that they have now. Harry’s alignment with Google and Live Nation is emblematic of that consolidation of power.

Louis is an intelligent person who must work inside this framework — he isn’t separate from industry either. Louis has only acknowledged his difficulties in oblique ways, “Right. Let’s go again.” “6 years of build up energy waiting for this moment” “Who the fuck’s gonna stop us?” “No major label, no radio play, no promo.” — because of the same self-imposed censorship that I mentioned before. What else can he say?

Louis channels his trauma creatively, into his songs, and like he says, he’s lucky to have a fandom who will listen and support him. It’s a tightrope act in some ways, one that he’s been walking for six years. The fact that all the guys are still able to make music, find their audiences, and expand their own tastes and circles of friends— their survival alone, despite the Styles war machine— is remarkable.

My point is that Louis is continually making his own chance, over and over, despite many obstacles. His personality is one of optimism and persistence. He seems to draw a dedicated fanbase with his values, and from what I can see, the percentage of solo fans is increasing. The chance to perform live is really pivotal for him. I think the landscape for Louis will look very different at the end of 2022.

#louis tomlinson #harry styles #larry stylinson

[saintqueer]

always ready to clown w/ u 💖 (fr tho i was thinking along the same lines as u on the yt vid being released but i also dont wanna hope so imma remain skeptical as hell

but i hope its true it would be so nice if the music industry got its own lil upheaval but i feel like w/ just rebecca it doesnt seem too likely to happen yk? like she needs more ppl to start speaking out not only that but she needs someone who's internationally known so that it can be the whole music industry nd so that more artists start feeling safer to speak out, safer as in they won't lose their careers their labels won't drop them etc.

if one of the 1d boys did i feel like that would hv a huge impact but the likeliness of that happening are slim to none so its interesting to think abt what the video actually means in terms of if they are in contact w/ her does that mean one of them is gonna speak out? already we know theres an insanely low chance of that for multiple different reasons (likely including but not limited to their contracts)

so does that mean that they are in contact with her in the way that they are helping her w/ this? as in they're convincing more artists to come forward? but i feel like thats risky as hell especially if they're not saying anything themselves bc they could be sending these artists to their doom if not enough ppl come thru or smth yk? so that might as well be ruled out too

or maybe they're in contact w/ her in the way that like they're helping her and other artists that wanna speak out? maybe helping them to figure out how to give them a larger/better voice? but i feel like that would likely fall on PR ppl that they hire

but if one of the 1d boys is in fact in contact w/ her dont u think there could've been a subtler way to tell us? I mean the tweets are already not subtle (the ones by rebecca) but i also understand why that is but its im sorry this is so frustrating and my mind is going a thousand miles an hr and im just so frustrated w/ all this bc none of it makes sense and i feel like there smth happening we dont know abt and i just wanna know and i wanna know if we can do anything to help and i just want them all happy and to be ok and i'll stop talking now

anyway sorry for bothering u - defintly not expecting a reply lol ik u said u didnt wanna talk abt it so i hope its ok i sent this in)

have a good night/day lots of love 💖

helloooo bb!

its totally fine for you come into my inbox and vent/speculate anytime you need. i dont mind at all! i only feel bad when i can't get to everyone (i see you and im sorry!) but always feel free to word vomit, lol

i don't blame you for going back and forth a lot. especially with the idea of the boys speaking out about the mistreatment as it's been very hush hush on their end for many years! however, i dont think its quite as unlikely as many make it seem.

just look at the last year and how much liam has spoken very plainly about the abuse and mistreatment the boys suffered. he has been very candid and it's only been increasing over the last year. we've also seen several other people connected to x factor and syco speak up for the first time over the last 7 months.

a lot of the things cumulatively that have happened over the last year make me think that perhaps several of the boys will speak up, will make a fuss, and do so at the exact right time. i think whatever is going on right now is very strictly planned and has a very particular timeline. and a lot of it might be happening behind the scenes (especially if they are attempting legal action) so we wouldn't know until it all came out (in the wash).

we won't know until we watch it all unfold, hindsight is 20/20. this will all make sense one day when we look back. but i'm gonna try to put some pieces together in the meantime because that's what this fandom is built on: noticing patterns and calling them out even when others say it's a reach or a coincidence. we didn't recognize rbb & sbb for what they were by going on about how "it's probably the sound guy" and "it's just a coincidence they are reading those books"! we got here by calling out weird shit even when we end up wrong.

and, as for me, i choose to believe that louis wouldn't purposefully mislead us with his overwhelming positivity over the last six months.

#i think they will speak out just a matter of when #anon

[hobidreams]

(long ass ask ahead!! sorry lol)

OOP HI!! ik this took a hot second (i took summer classes to lessen my load next sem and uh,,, i lowkey regret it lmao) but oh my god. when i tell you that i was grinning like an idiot the entire time i was reading the mlt update😭😭 it was so beautiful and sweet and wholesome??

ok breaking this down into sections bc i am a Mess lol:

1. joon n chun-ja are so cute!! and that bit where han-jae runs up to joon??? consider me dead. eviscerated. fucken stabbed. n the way that mc is so happy for them but at the same time lowkey jealous bc god damn it, she wants that with yoongi too😭(pls let my girl be happy ong im going to sob)

2. FINALLY OH MY GOD,,,, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE, TURN IT UP!!! no but i mean it, my soul is soothed knowing that they've finally talked about it😭😭 and the way yoongi says, "She shouldn't have made you bear such a burden" ??? yeah im gonna sob😭😭 bc some part of oc must have felt a bit... bitter? that she had to carry that burden :<< like yeah, the fact that the queen trusted her with that information must have been flattering (idk if thats the right word to use lol but u know what i mean), but she was so young😭 to hear yoongi say that must have been so... liberating, in a sense? idk i love her huhuhu

3. yoongi's been skipping breakfast to see the mc??? he rlly said loml first, sustenance later🤪 no but this scene was just so soft and sweet?? and when he says that he's gonna turn down another marriage candidate as swiftly as he did last time, girl i'll have you know that i CHOKED😭😭the casual banter between them?? the way he holds her hand???? ma'am i can't😭 i can't do this oh my god even now while i'm rereading it as i write this comment, i am FLUSTERED (also when my friend read this part, she rlly stopped reading for a sec to send me a screenshot of this part so she could yell at me😭😭)

4. i won't lie i did not expect to see some jikook action in this drabble😭(i'm def not complaining tho lol) the way jimin bought all of the jeon??? i'm laughing okay😭 that was so cute n wholesome n the way mc said that she was gonna go help out jungkook's family out😭 (are jin, jk, n the mc friends now?) also i'll have you know that after reading this part i got so curious abt what jeon tasted like😭 i'll have to try some when i get the chance lol

5. HOBI!!! HOBI!!!!!! HOBI!!!!!!!!!! I WAS SO SURPRISED TO SEE THAT HE MADE AN APPEARANCE HERE OH MY GOD!!! pls the way he's so soft for his baby :<< n he's gonna drop by w aera to see the mc?? pls i wANNA HANG OUT W THEM TOO😭😭 (also miss rain, if this part is what i think it is... i see u👀 jk im probably reading into it too much🤣 the lessons in my creative writing class has been ingrained to my soul at this point lmao)

6. i see yoongi's been spoiling our mc!! as he should😌 ok but fr, this last scene made my heart so full with joy :<< the mc misses her mom so much huhu also yoongi just being so... attentive with her? the way he's immediately like, what do you need?? i'll get it for you!!! sugar daddy yoongi come thru!!! nah im kidding but pls, the way he says "show me which one later and you shall have it" like bestie?? THATS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT ATTRACTIVE BUT WHEW. I HAD MY HAND ON MY CHEST!!! n the way he tries to be all sweet and cuddly by pulling her close, only for it to backfire on him?? PLS THATS THE CUTEST THING😭😭 THE WAY HE FELL ON HIS ASS N MC LAUGHING AT HIM PLS THEY'RE SO CUTE😭😭😭 they're so comfortable with each other now and every interaction they have is just filled with so much love and affection it makes my heart hurt😭😭

speaking of hurt...

RAIN THAT LAST LINE???? N UR A/N?????? IT'S SO OMINOUS I CAN'T W U😭😭 ONE OF MY FRIENDS WOULD LIKE TO SAY (respectfully) WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT😭😭😭😭 WHEW BESTIE I AM... WHEW. NO WORDS. IM GONNA SCREAM,,,

ok whew it's nice to get that out of my system lol i can't wait for the upcoming chapters miss rain!! i already know it's going to rip my heart out, but to that i say DO IT BITCH!! DESTROY US ALL WHEW

(also i'm rlly sorry to hear abt the results of the poetry contest :<< the judges rlly missed out on having you, the coolest sweetest person ever, as the winner of the contest!! although ur in the longlist!!! i... am not sure what that is exactly but ahhh im so proud of you!!!)

(ok this is the last one i swear, but i was gonna recommend a song but u... i think i'll hold on to it for a little longer lol bc i swear... if the song comes true for the mlt couple im gonna cry bc that song is so heartbreaking😭😭 maybe i'll send it to you when the series ends lol) - 🌿

ok first of all -- dw you won't regret that decision once the fall comes LOL i took summer classes for most of my summers and it was the only reason i could have a bit of a break in the fall ooooof.

GAHHH please you are too kind to me ??? thank you so much for taking the time to write this ?? the way my heart beat while i was reading it!! it's truly so so special to be able to make such a connection with a reader as lovely as you. you picked up on all the beats that i really wanted to push, esp at the intimacy that's between our couple 😭😭 hahahah im so sorry to hurt you with the last line but IT HAD TO BE DONE SORRRRY. history is,, not kind (as you say in your other ask which i wont answer bc spoilers heh but ur right). how will our babies get thru it? tune in on sunday hehehe

(also no worries at all omg!! it's an honour to be longlisted, which means that i was basically one of the finalists or at least in the top x% of submitters, which is a big fuckin deal bc a lot of established/professional writers submitted to the contest too!)

#send me the song when it's all over and we'll see HAHAH #take care babe <3 #rain reply #🌿 anon #moonlit throne #love letters 💌

[when-residents-are-evil]

Entry #4

A/N: Aaaaaand, with this chapter, the Bestiary and House Beneviento’s entries updated! You don’t actually need to read them, they’re note my OC is taking to help them go through this mess. Notes that I need to organize better, too.

23th April 2018

07h47

Today's missions:

Find a doctor

Learn more about Lords and Miranda

Stack up on provisions for the day I'll escape (long lasting food, medical stuff, weapons (?), money, etc)

I think I need to investigate about Miranda. Iulian isn't really talkative, but I guess my already-dead rabbit and the two fish I bribed him with yesterday must have impressed him, because he agreed to let me know a few things.

According to him, I wouldn't be the first tourist to 'disappear' if anything were to happen to me. Villagers disappear from time to time, mostly when they want to leave the village for good. Apparently, they need to ask for her blessing so they won’t get torn up to pieces on their way out.

But tourists? Sometimes, people will end up here, like I did, for various different reasons. Maybe they heard about spooky rumors and wanted to have a good scare and brag to their friends about the place. Or maybe they just got lost and tried to roll with it. I'm case number 2, by the way. A few escape (or at least, leave the village and are never to be seen again).

Most of the time, if they get an audiance with Mother Miranda, they don't come back.

Now, if I never got attacked by the lycans, I would brush it off as some lame ghost story or hink that Miranda, for some reason, agreed to help them leave or something ike that. But then, Iulian said these people weren't taken by the woods. And it's weird, because I'm almost sure the lycans are the n°1 death cause around here, and that no one from the 'outside world' would want to stay here. But he insisted it wasn't them, and he said they didn't left. So I have two theories:

1) Miranda killing those people, for some reason. That would explain why everyone is so damn scared of her.

2) There are other kind of monsters here. Aside from the lycans, I mean. I'm also thinking it could be the Lords?

I don't know which one would be worse. There has to be a reason Miranda is feared like she is. She must be either incredibly powerful, or… All these people are brainwashed. I don’t think she’s the kind and generous protector they all claim she is. Why wouldn’t she get rid of the lycans if she truly had good intentions?

And why am I not dead yet? I'm 100% sure she knows I'm here and trying to escape, so why isn't she kiling me? Is it because she likes watching people fail or something?

Because I could understand. I ran into a tree on my way back home last night because I was too scared to see straight. I'm sure she's entertained.

Or maybe I'm too insignificant to be worth the effort. I hope it's that one.

_____________________________________________________________

09h36

Okay, I need to write this down.

There's a weird old lady that's been following me around for at least 3 days. She's really sneaky, and I can't hear her despite the bones rattling at the end of her staff. The only reason I noticed her is because I'm becoming paranoid and keep randomly turning around. That's how I caugh her. Also, not a big fan of feeling observed.

She keeps lurking at the edge of my sight. It's freaking me out. I think I should comfront her, but again, I'm not good with people and don't want to be rude to an old lady. I get she's creepy, and weird, and she follows me everywhere I go, but is it a reason to call her out? She didn't technically do anything bad, in the end she's just observ

... She's hiding behind a tree again. Okay, no, it's freaking me out. I think I'm going to talk to her.

_____________________________________________________________

10h12

She’s so fucking weird. She asked me what would I sacrifice for Miranda and I didn’t know what to answer, so I returned her question. She laughed, didn’t answer, then left and threw some ominous warning abover her shoulder. I don’t remember what exactly. What the fuck. What’s her problem? I think I need to ask the Duke about her. Not sure he’ll tell me what I really need to know, but I can still try.

_____________________________________________________________

14h55

I met the doctor on my way to the Duke. He used to be a herbalist and learned the most… gruesome stuff on his own. He gave me a cream of his own making for my arm, and was kind enough to give me the ingredients. Apparently, these herbs grow near the windmills, but it’s in Moreau’s territory, so it’ll have to wait.

Now, about the Duke.

As expected, he didn’t really tell me a lot about that old lady, aside from the fact that she’s weird and old. Nothing I didn’t knew. Either he doesn’t want to help me, or he just doesn’t know as much as I thought he did. Or maybe he works for Miranda and doesn’t want me to escape ? I don’t know. I don’t know if I can trust him, I just…

I want to go home.

_____________________________________________________________

21h23

I have good and bad news :

Bad news: I got attacked on my way back from Hous Beneviento’s territory. Yeah, I know. I shouldn’t have gone in the first place. I’ll get to that later. Anyways, I’ve got three huge slashes on my face, cutting my lips open. It’s going to leave a nasty scar, and it hurts like hell. Every time I open my mouth to eat or talk, it reopens the cuts. I couldn’t stitch myself up, as I didn’t have any suture and couldn’t find my needles (I used all of them on my arm). I tried putting tape instead. We’ll see how that turns out.

Good news: It wasn’t a lycan! Which means I got to observe a new kind of monster. They were after the suspended bridge, behind the door leading to Beneviento’s territory. I also learned more about this place, I think.

I know I shouldn’t have been there. I knew it was a bad idea. But no one would tell me why and I had to figure it out. The thing is, if I’m ever going to run away from this place, I need to know what I’m up against. I don’t regret going despite what happened.

The door was open. Maybe Lady Beneviento was in town ? Something tells me I’m lucky I didn’t see her on my way back. And it’s a good thing I had the map with me (knowing myself, I’d be able to get lost on a straight path). There were breanching paths, but they were closed off my vines. In any case, I kept going, slowly but surely, and at the end of the path, I could see Lady Beneviento’s house from afar. I didn’t dare come closer, just in case she came back.

There was something odd about this whole thing (aside from the monsters who chased me on my way back, I mean). At first, I thought it was my nerves, but the whole time I was in her territory, I felt… Sick. And watched. I don’t think it was just my anxiety acting up. I kept seeing things at the corner of my eyes, moving shadows and things I still think were fake to some extent, despite everything I’ve seen here.

But I kept going. I wasn’t stupid enough to go inside the house, but my self preservation senses aren’t exactly... developped. I felt dizzy, too lightheaded, and I know there was something inside. I tried looking through the windows but it was way too dark. I left immediately after sending a few glances inside, I really wasn’t feeling well. It felt like I was drugged, somehow. I don’t know. I still feel weird from that whole fiasco. Maybe it’s more because of the burning gash on my face, but I don’t think so.

I ran as fast as I could, hid behind a tree during when my asthma was acting up, and then ran some more. Then some weird ass… Monsters... Zombies things came out of the ground. I thought I was hallucinating at first, and then I felt a horrible burn across my face as my head got sent to the ground, and it got me right back on track. I didn’t even bother fighting back. My poor little knife wasn’t going to damage them, and there were too many of them.

I ran all the way down to the village, and saw the Duke here. He gave me some bandages and herbs for free when he saw me come back. He also held my hand when I told him about what happened. I don’t know if I can really call him a friend, but I’m still glad he was here. I still don’t know if I can really trust him, though. I hope I can. I need someone I can trust.

He said he’ll answer my questions once I’m feeling better, that I wasn’t in the right state for it right now. I think I’ll just go to sleep.

#resident evil fandom #resident evil village #resident evil #resident evil oc #resident evil fic #my fic #journal n°1

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Hey, it's me again! The Anon that constantly comes back because I'm too lazy to play the new lessons myself.

Anyway, Lesson 30-something, what happened in it? I've just seen screenshots and most of them are Solomon blushing (which, well, can't really say I'm complaining).

Hope you answer, and I'll probably ask you about the lessons after this.

-Anon that's still somehow stuck on Lesson 31. Seriously, I should really start playing the game again soon.

I'm screaming I literally wrote this whole thing and it got deleted because tumblr refused to send it and just banished the reply into the void i want to fight someone. I'm so sorry I'm gonna bang my head against something now.

It's okay if you ask cause I need someone to rant to after lessons!

So two days before the ritual to break the pacts. Solomon is researching how to use the night dagger.

Lucifer & Satan are arguing on the staircase (cause 50% of all important conversations happen on staircases - and I mean this sincerely). Lucifer promised mammon he'd come play cards with him and Satan doesn't want him to go cause he thinks it'll be a scam (he's worried about his dad big brother❤). MC asks Satan if he's worried about Lucifer and that makes his affection go up. He asks MC to promise him to go with Lucifer and keep an eye on him. He ruffles MC's hair and gives them the same we'll still be friends talk that the others do

They go to play cards and place bets, if Mammon wins he gets Lucifer's credit card for a day and if Lucifer wins he gets mc alone for a day. You can choose whether you want mc to either play along or cheer for Lucifer. (And look my MC's performing Olympic grade gymnastics to avoid Lucifer's advances & this lesson has a lot of options to romance Lucifer that I didn't pick so...)

Lucifer gets distracted by Mammon's car before they start playing.

WE GET THE BACKSTORY ABOUT THE CAR!!!!!! AND LOOK IT'S BEING THERE FOR SO LONG WITHOUT BEING ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I WAS ALMOST CERTAIN IVE BEEN HALLUCINATING IT. the backstory was actually really cute.

Mammon really really wanted this limited edition car (it had a rare colour) so he worked his ass off and earned money to buy it (I think it's mentioned that this is the first thing he bought from his own money). But by the time he'd earned enough it had been sold out. As far as Mammon knows Lucifer spoke to the dealer and was able to find one last car (can you do that? Can you just ask them to look in the back and they'll just pop out with a car they accidentally overlooked?). BUT Lucifer recalls that he actually spoke to diavolo and called in a special favour to get the car for mammon. Lucifer tells mammon he was impressed by him and I no longer possess a physical form I'm now a bowl of goop with thumbs to type

Lucifer wins (duh) and mammon asks to speak to mc alone. He tells them that even if their pact is severed he'll always be their first man. MC says 'I won't forget.' Mammon does that stuttery thing and says something like 'don't forget.' He hugs them tight. I added a screenshot of this (& other important moments) to my first answer but I don't wanna risk it cause if I lose this again I will realistically commit homicide. But anyway this line killed me 'suddenly I feel like the invisible bond between us is even stronger than it was before'. If I wasn't a puddle before I would be now

The next day mc & Lucifer meet up to go out, Asmo and mammon complain, I'm a total dick so I don't let MC hold Lucifer's hand and it makes him sad (I cry). They meet Solomon at the gate and he says he needs to talk with MC but can wait till after. He suggests going to the carnival (from the beginning of the season) cause it's the last day at the devildom and Simeon was planning on taking Luke but had to bail to go to the celestial realm. (Also the devildom is only one city/district right? I always saw it as the capital of The Devildom as a whole)

Lucifer laments not being able to remeber their first time at the carnival, mc gets to reassure him that it's okay. They get popcorn and go on the ferris wheel.

He asks them what they spoke about last time on the ferris wheel. The answers are 'Lucifer' or 'diavolo' . if you choose diavolo he throws shade at past Lucifer for being an idiot and talking about another man when with MC (*SNORT*) .

LUCIFER CONFESSES!!!? HE SAYS "MC I LOVE YOU"?!? HE'S THE FIRST BROTHER TO DIRECTLY CONFESS AND HAVE MC DIRECTLY CONFESS BACK.HE BASICALLY SAYS 'ANYWAY PAST LUCIFER WAS A FUCKING IDIOT BUT I LOVE YOU'. my mc goes 'lol as a friend'

Yes yes ik mammon technically confessed first and did so twice (thrice?) but neither were direct. The first was him agreeing with mc about them being in love in front of someone else and the second was under the influence of the truth bracelet. Asmo confessed too but in a 'never thought I'd find someone I love more than me. That's wild' way.

After mc shoots him down he goes 'that sucks guess I'll have to try harder to make you fall for me'

@like-nxrthernstxrs if you say you love him back, you get to kiss and mammon who followed you sees and goes quiet which yeah no, no thanks

I didn't unlock the locked lessons but screenshots show that all the brothers follow them I think (imagine the nightmare of dating one of them for real tho? Like you, me and your friend Steve except Steve is your 6 brothers who want to sleep with me)

The most notable exchange during them is when Levi asks whether Lucifer seems happier without his memories (he actually is more carefree) but mammon says he wouldn't be happier because he loves all his little brothers and he wouldn't be happy if he couldnt remember them. Levi tells mammon it's gross whenever he starts acting like an actual older brother (so we've seen mammon step up to the role of a older brother every once in a while - specially when Lucifer isnt able to - and he's actually really good at it? And that's just💞💞)

When they go home, solomon's in MC's room. He goes 'so do you want the good news or bad news first? Actually they're both bad news and you're fucked lol'

The dagger is so old that it doesn't have enough power to break the bonds and even when charged with Solomon's power it isn't enough.

The only way to restore the power is to use it to stab a powerful demon in the chest and have it absorb the demon's power.

Then he gives mc the dagger and is like 'anyway go stab Lucifer in the chest or we're all gonna die'

MC's like 'what the fuck'

Solomon goes 'lol just kidding i wouldn't ask you to do that'

Solomon tells them that he spent his whole life protecting humanity and that he is willing to do anything to save it. He tells them that choosing between all of the three realms and one demon should be easy. But he can't because he knows that'll make MC sad and he doesn't want to hurt them (honestly some of the dialogue from Solomon, Simeon and even diavolo makes me wonder if they'll ever become LIs down the road)

Lucifer has been eavesdropping the whole time (obviously) and kicks Solomon out.

Mc tells time not to worry and that they'll figure something else out. He tells them that he cares about his brothers and them (he puts a bit of emphasis on MC) and that he wants them to stab him. MC keeps on protesting. He grabs their hand and makes them point the dagger to his chest. You get a choice. You can either stab Lucifer, MC or command him to 'stay'. If you choose to command him, he freezes for a sec and then tells MC they are too distraught to be able to put any actual power behind the command. He moves their hand to stab himself. The screen goes white. If you decide to stab MC he screams their name. The screen goes white

A '???' voice tells them to stop and that it's not needed. Simeon (the only person with even a single braincell in this entire game) stops their hand and tells them they've been brave. He slips an old ring on to their finger. The screen goes white.

The screen's still white but now it's white in a way that makes it look like it's sunlight blinding the screen.

Another '???' voice apologises to MC for not being able to meet them before. It asks mc why they refused to stab Lucifer. They can say it's because they love him, because they didn't want anyone to get hurt or because they wanted to find another way. And look even if you aren't romancing Lucifer you have to admit at this point of the game MC does love him and all his brothers as well.If you pick the first option the voice says that it's a good thing and that they should cherish that love and let it grow. If you choose the second it tells them they are kind. The voice then tells them that after seeing how much the brothers adore them it expected them to be wicked and that it's happy they aren't. It tells them that they don't have to worry and that the ring of light will keep their powers in check and that they should go back because the others are worried. MC wakes up to Lucifer calling their name.

I'm 90% certain the voice in Michael, 10% of me is terrified it'll turn out to be God. And look I'm not religious, I don't really believe in anything and either way I was raised in a Buddhist household so God has never been anything I believed in BUT God talking to me through an otome game is definitely not something I need rn or ever really

Mc, Solomon, Simeon and Luke are by the lake at the palace. Solomon says he can finally relate to Mammon cause Lucifer had punished him. Simeon reveals that Lucifer had punished diavolo as well and would be coming after the rest of them that kept this whole thing secret from him (And this kills me! This man loves his family so much he was not only willing to go against God and his army when his family was in danger but he was also willing to lash out at DIAVOLO who he has so much respect & loyalty towards when he accidentally put Lucifer's family in danger!??? Anyway any chance I had of solidifying into a physical state has been completely swept away)

It's revealed that Simeon may or may not have stolen the ring from Michael who still loves Lucifer and keeps a shrine to Lucifer all of Lucifer's things from the celestial realm with him. And honestly I want whatever superpower Lucifer has that allows him to act like a dick with major issues but still makes ppl just absolutely love him. (I absolutely adore how easily om! throws around the word 'love' or actions of love. And I don't mean regarding MC. I mean between the brothers, undateables, Luke and side characters. Like at this point there's no doubt that despite all their differences everyone loves each other.)

Simeon (or Luke) note that now with the ring MC is as powerful a sorcerer as Solomon and may someday surpass him. Solomon is asked of he's jealous and he says he's not and he's glad to finally have someone like him.

Solomon pulls MC aside and asks them for a favour. They can either ask what it is or say 'anything for you'. If you choose the second option he blushes. He tells them he has spent his whole life looking out for humanity (thousands of years) and that he would like to work side by side with them to protect the humans. In his own words they'd be 'partners'. You can either agree or tell him it sounds like a pain in the ass. If you agree he says that a part of him knew they'd agree. (I can't remember if this is said outloud or implied but I'm assuming this means Solomon will teach them to use actual magic thus making 3 out of 4 of my main game MCs magical apprentices. Nice.)

*Solomon refers to himself as 'the witty sorcerer' confirming that all their aliases in the cards have actual canon meaning...so Mammon's 'fallen warrior' and 'punishment party' is basically just confirming he was probably the only one classed as a fighter from all his brothers back in the celestial realm and that he's a masochist right? That's what that means?*

Barbatos arrives to welcome them and ask them to follow him.

The lesson ends.

The pre stabbing scene with Solomon and mc doesn't really follow the exact dialogue of the first scene in S2 and the backgrounds don't match either (the human world vs MC's bedroom). Now this could mean the devs fucked up or it could mean there's more BS waiting to be stirred up. Personally I believe it's the first one BUT with how determined the devs seem with turning all of Lucifer's hair white i wouldn't be surprised if it was the second either

Hope that helps 31!❤ sorry it took some time I had to take constant breaks to scream cause the app sucks :)))

#asks #answers #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #obey me! #obey me lucifer #om! lucifer #swd lucifer #obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #obey me solomon #om! solomon #swd solomon #lucifer x mc #lucifer x reader #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #obey me spoilers

[zuffer-weird-girl]

I don't know if my ask was wipe off too but I'll rewrite it again ...what about a scenario where kai's s/o was adopted and when she got older she wanted to find her biological mother.. she finds her but she sees her mother pregnant and she over heard her mother say " yea it's my first one. Me and my husband is very excited." To a friend she was talking too. How would kai react to this..... And I hope your semester is going well

He didn't understand it you one bit.

Your biological parents were... atrocities to his eyes. Not even knowing who were they, but already despising them with the same amount of hate he had towards his once biological father and what was suppose to be his mother.

You were abandoned. Discarded by those filth... luck you that you had found some decent family, they were sick but at least treated you right through the years you had... much like him.

Yet there you were, telling him that you were curious and quite determined to find your biological mother for the first time.

"Why?" He asked monoustly yet his eyes showed how shocked he was and the amount of disbelief he carried on them.

You shrugged with a serious look, looking at the ground numbly before smillung a bit, yet not returning to look at those golden eyes you loved to stare at.

"Curiosity I guess? I mean... I never knew where I came from or why exactly they didn't want me at the time... maybe they just couldn't take care of me or had me on a wrong age. I dunno." You sighed shakily before interviewing your fingers together "I... just want to meet the woman who put me into this world."

Yes. He surely didn't understand it a bit your thoughts. If he was in your place... he wouldn't know what to do actually.

Maybe you did have a point.

He let out a sigh before sitting besides you, staring you a bit before spilling the words.

"I will do the research. Maybe if we're lucky at least this week we discover where she is."

The way you widened your eyes was just so bright and pure to his eyes, he couldn't help to smirk a bit at the grateful smile and even if his muscles tensed a bit at feeling your sudden hug he only scoffed heartly and awkwardly patted your back twoce, a signal that was enough.

He didn't lie and was really smug when he found where the woman was and how was exactly her routine, showing it to you after three days of searching.

He absolutely refused to let you go alone, not also trusting bis subbordinates, neither Chrono, to accompany you on that... encounter.

"You sure you won't mind? It might kinda be awkward and-"

"If it is so important for you I might as well be there to just end her existence is she dares to speak some stupidity." He sayed numbly, smirking a bit at your gasp while still walkimg sides by sides.

"Kai!" You whispered shouted but ended up smilling no less, the way he subsconciously eased your nerves was just incredible.

You both continue walking until Chisaki abruptly stopped right in front of some cafe. Spotting the woman he had been searching for at least three days by now.

He pointed with his gaze and hesitantly carresed your shoulder a bit, walking besides you...

"I cant believe your pregnant!" The woman sitting in front of her exclaimed, not aware that you two were just waiting to have a chat with your mother. "Your husband must be ecstatic!"

The woman laughed before she spilled the words that left your body cold as ice and Chisaki's blood burning as the flames of hell itself.

"Yeah he is! Is our first ever child after all! Being pregnant for the first time is quite scary but also so exciting at the same time!"

His eye twitched before he let out a animalistic growl, grabbing the hem of his gloves as he took one step forward towards her... before he felt your hand grabbing his jacket.

"What?" He growled in pure hatred and irritation, before softening a but his eyes when you say your broken hearted face and teary eyes... but yet still a sad smile formed on your lips as you looked up at him.

"Is ok. Don't waste your energy with such a thing Kai, is not worth it."

Gosh how badly he wanted to just yank himself out of your gaze to kill that women on the worst and cruelest as possible...

He knew it. People like that always did those things. People like his and your biological parents didn't even deserved being alive for fucks sake.

He scoffed, a death glare on his eyes as he looked one last time at the table, the woman chatting with your mother flinched a bit before poking her colleague, whispering something before the woman took a quick look at you two before retreading back like a flash.

Coward. Fucking coward.

"Kai." Your hand on his arm finally made him break his glare as he stared at you for a few seconds "Please lets just go? I think ik done for today..."

"... alright." He muttered before leading almost the way to his house, noticing and cringing at seing the glommy state you were in... even despite claiming that you were happy at least to have found happines on a true family.

He wasn't taling that shit.

He asked for Pops and Chrono to distract you for a bit while you showered, saying only that he had a few things to get done, and luckily both had agreed on.

He didn't even waste time running back towards that place, letting Nemoto drive as he stepped out and immediately blicked the woman's path to entering her house with his quirk when he touched the ground.

She looked behind and widened her eyes at recognizing the dark brow haired man from earlier.

He only lifted his palm, signaling Nemoto's to start.

"Miss, is this your real first pregnancy?"

"No, is actually my second. When I had my first one I abandoned the child on a place that I didn't even know of without a care since neither me or my boyfriend at the time wanted it." She got out of her mindblow and gasped in horror, quickly putting her hands over her mouth.

Chisaki, without even blinking, started to make his way towards her. Taking slowly his gloves out of his hand as his psyco look only worsened when his eyes had darkned.

"What a nice confession to hear. I suppose I should introduce my self even if you are only a waste of my time."

The woman shivered before Chisaki was only a few steps away from her.

"Call me Overhaul. But for you to understand better why I am doing this with such garbage like yourself-" his eyes seemed to burn in rage even more the more he talked "I am your son in law. Is definitely not a pleasure." He growled the last part before merciless touching her forearm with his bare hand.

This was only the start... she woul pay for letting his angel hurt like that.

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #my writing #zuffer writings

[kae-karo]

Hi Katie! I just want you to know that I want your analysis of this new sims video more than anything and I'll just patiently wait for it... Have a nice day!

hi dear!! new sims vid, did u mean dnp simulator?

dorks spending the first ten seconds dancing in fake snow 

why virtual friends???? ??

my daddies gave to me y’all,,,,,,there’s knowing your branding and then there’s acting on that knowledge and i think this may have been one time where acting on your knowledge maybe was not a good call like ily and u do u and all but

i love phil loving his branding it’s cute also shoutout to @dnpscloset​ thanks for finding it (x) bc i want one now if anyone needs a last minute xmas idea i’m lookin at u mom u always wait til the last minute

same dan, same

‘we all have new faces and new lives and everything’s changed, this is gonna be hella dramatic’ *inhale* *exhale*

‘when u imagine the howlter family’ god they’re such adorable n sentimental nerds i love them

phil’s actual default is bein a leany boye

dnp arguing about what ‘desperate’ actually is as if the entirety of their first year after meeting they weren’t talking as often as they could five hour skype calls amirite

get away from me stalker lmao bold of u to say that danny

phil sweetie i love you with my entire heart he’s so so excited abt the virtual snow i love him

tiny zoom in jumpcut at 2:08 overlapping audio interesting

a mood and a half

phil immediately going ‘yeahhhhh thin walls family hearing things they gotta get out’ abt dab and evan like m8 we get it all u think abt is sex we get it god u and ur husband really are made for each other aren’t u (dnp = devan reference #1)

‘i presume evan is also jobless’ ‘i hope so!’ phil is it really,,,,,,smth to be excited about,,,,,,,

dan’s doin a lot of the hand phone lately u cute boy

we should have a redbull what is wrong with them phil can barely handle having too much sugar y’all thought it was a good idea to have a redbull also we should have a redbull they share literally everything which tbh is probs for the best lbr phil on a whole can of redbull hmmmmm yes ik it’s v possible and in fact probable that phil had his own can let me live

‘it’s a sensible lightweight jacket’ in the fucking snow wow dan u really did just set urself up for phil to drag u about not dressing for the weather

dan’s fucking laugh at 4:39 gives me life literally there is no purer and more adorable sound like that’s up there with kittens purring

‘i think he’s gonna be a bit of a diva in this relationship’ did you mean: dan howell (dnp = devan reference #2)

[slight bit of ankle is showing] dan: ‘and now you’re wearing shorts’

where’s the lie tho honestly that lil pause before he said mate

this clip will live in infamy bc i want this in every fucking phan edit for the rest of time like i can’t even think of the right out-of-context clip right now but anything that can be answered with phil saying ‘it’s dan’ i need it

mandatory phil covering his mouth and bein a cutie

yes destroy gender roles in the snow universe (although seriously dan’s ‘life is just about uncon-doing the horrible conditioning of all these gender stereotypes, phil’ is so important also i stan phil recognizing that before dan i think it’s really easy to forget that just bc up til recently he’s not been as expressive as dan of his opinions on how stupid gender roles are doesn’t mean he doesn’t have just as if not more progressive a mindset than dan)

‘it’s like a dan vs phil’ dnp = devan #3

dan has such a lovely singing voice i miss him singing

dude phil’s eyebrows are making a Solid appearance v expressive

i s2g this is a different moment from the one above he’s just so fricken cute???

‘but they’ve got each other’s backs, phil, just like dab and evan’ yeeeeaaaa i’m gonna go ahead and go with dnp = devan reference #4 here i think that’s fair

snow angels are the least fun thing to do and yet (x - it literally won’t let me put it in bc it’s a privated vid rip)

amazing they just started having a snowball fight how cute n domestic am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan hmmmm - dnp = devan #5

i get that infinity war was a meme but lads it’s time to let it go

‘and they’re called the howlters’ lmao as if u ain’t an honorary lester daniel (dnp = devan #6)

i’m living for phil’s excitement i mean if that’s what redbull does to him i’m here for it i guess?

hi they’re dumb this was cute

‘we don’t want to be those people, but for us personally, we very much found that you just need to just move into a big city of some kind and just jump into life with both feet’ this is not only adorable advice but also where dnp simulator comes into play aka we did this so uhh dab n evan should do it (dnp = devan #7) also dan speaking for them both singular pronouns are quaking

‘don’t trust that’ what on earth are u on abt phil what don’t u trust the fuckin desert or?????

scalyburg phil stop pls we know we get it dan’s a furry ur a scaly we got it

why does dan spend an entire 7 seconds (8:40) adjusting is he moving closer to phil? switching which leg he’s sat on? idk but it lead to me pausing at this moment which was a gift in and of itself

‘the deposit on that one, plus the weekly went would make us instantly broke, so that’s fun, us when we moved to london’ bih do u hear me crying

does dan remember phil’s first manchester apartment what kind of question is that phil have u met dan he probably remembers every bloody inch of that place i mean he did remember that there wasn’t a bedside table so

stop that

middle of the city, romance festival, geekcon, pretty views and cherry blossom trees sounds like dnp’s ideal location do u get why i’m calling it dnp simulator yet also dnp = devan #8

we don’t want to move next to the karaoke legends wow dan bold of u to say after belting helena at 2am real bold

phil having flashbacks to the apt they toured where they found out people died there

hi phil just looks so excited by everything

look i’m not saying anything except they’re managing to find a lot of similarities b.w their lives and what they’re doing for dab and evan okay like this apartment is great for people-watching? which is what phil did in his manchester apt?

context whomst? idk her

shoutout to the wardrobe

big bold life-changing steps

anon spitting truth up in this house (but like,,,,,my thoughts exactly lmao i was like they’re such introverts they would’ve avoided meeting their neighbors at any cost including apparently smacking into a locked door trying to avoid small talk phil we love u bab)

casually mentioning dan saying ‘we are dil-’ was he gonna say dil’s son, maybe but i like to remember the bloops of dan repeatedly calling dab dil so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

omg okay so from like. this point on, when dan’s like ‘here is my vision’, i’m absolutely getting queer eye vibes like amateur queer eye tho like two gay nerds trying to embody queer eye in their lives a bit oh wait

okay okay okay dan u said an ensuite bathroom and then failed to add a door to the bedroom do u understand how frustrating that is???????? do u understand how stressful it was for me to watch that whole damn vid and know that u forgot the door????

a space for hobbies what hobbies who has hobbies

they learned nothing from building their house before: phil should take the mouse away from dan immediately look at him he is such a sugar baby in this jfc

god dan is so cute get these idiots a penthouse apartment super high up so he can have his bath next to a window okay he deserves that in life

stop it they’re literally agreeing on almost every single thing god they literally share a single brain

amazing

leany boye

‘they are young adults moving into their first apartment, you don’t have art!’ okay first of all don’t even go there daniel second of all i’m sorry you’re the one arguing for spending literally all their money but u don’t want to get some art bc it’s unrealistic????

dan saying lovely

phil’s mr carpet

navy??? navy? when did they? why? 

i would get involved in a criminal plot to have that / i’m gonna throw you out of one

wow pro tips makin a comeback

phil is Losing Steam

oh my god okay so i was joking but literally phil is losing steam lmao 18:35 he says ‘ayy’ and it’s so tired-sounding

leany leany boyes

okay look ik dan’s going into ‘aww poor philly’ mode but also he knew that very quickly like honestly that’s not a Thing i would ever notice about someone tbh i’m not saying it’s like Significant but damn danny was really into phil to know that shiz man

the high-fashion gigantic rug of our dreams

okay look i can’t make this up phil literally leans away for a bit and then

hello daniel’s Curl

i stan phil getting excited over plants

dab and evan will be having a mario kart fest will they (dnp = devan #9)

mirroringggggggg

dude big mood god they’re so fond and full of memories 

honestly dnp made it that way like u cannot convince me they didn’t purposely decide to do that mmkay

‘see they are ready to have their romantic dinners. and then they can pretend they have another friend and it’s fine!’ am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan who knows :) (dnp = devan #10) 

cold in the middle what on earth i literally have no memory of that i mean it could just be my shit memory but jfc they just remember that stuff goddamn

scrunchy boyes also phil where’s ur arm at hm

like i’m not fuckin joking where is it

you can’t exist without a computer i mean

what is important in life / the internet

they don’t even have fucking doors and dan’s like ‘uhm they need a terrarium’ dan i’m stressed

oh my god i’m sorry phil is so done with this now it’s actually comical

hi they didn’t add a door for the ensuite

give dnp an interior design series honestly give them any series

phil reached for dan’s hand u cannot convince me otherwise

‘not my personal taste’ really,,,,,really

when dab n evan hug dan looks at the screen n phil looks at the camera things u didn’t need to know but now u do

lmao jumpscared by the kiss

‘i feel like i’ve never nailed anything more in my entire life’ hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm hm

the fuck was dan’s ‘getting a job’ that’s his fnaf voice u stop that

doon doon doon doon

tongue

hi uhm what the Fuck was that jumpcut at 28:30 i hate Obvious Jumpcuts with a burning passion specifically bc of dnp

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #sims #devan #vid analysis #anon #ask #kt

[fallininyou]

Ok, thanks. You can post it, I don't mind. But basically, my mom literally does not trust me. And ppl shut me down when I say this bc she does let me go out with friends, but what they don't realize is that 1. She's very often tracking my phone to see where I am; 2. Soon after I'll get to my destination, she'll start texting me every little while to "send pics so she can see" and she'll disguise this as an innocent "I just wanna see their outfits!" or sumn like that (1/?)

She'll keep calling me instead of letting me chill and genuinely enjoy; 4. I'm 17, almost 18, and she literally still has my passwords to my social medias and reads through my texts and dms. All the time. Anytime I tell her that I'm not comfortable with her doing this, it turns into a big fight of "if you have nothing to hide there's no need for me not to see this. i'm just reading for my own entertainment, not to spy on you" and then she'll yell at me until I cry and leave to my room (2/?)

Anyway, there's an exhibition near where we live, and my dad's been wanting to go for a while now, but we've been putting it off. School starts next week, so I went to her and was like "let's go this weekend!" and she was like "we'll see" and I was like "no seriously, why don't we go?" and she didn't say anything. Then she came into my room like 5 mins later and was like "why are you so keen on going? what're you hiding?" and makes this expression insinuating that I'm trynna meet someone (3/?)

And I was like "bc dad wants to go? idk what the big deal is?" and she keeps giving me this look, so I get pissed and toss the pizza I was eating aside and sit back down really angrily, and was like "please leave I literally don't wanna talk to you right now, what's wrong with you, who would I even meet? you're always snooping through my stuff anyway, you'd know if there was anything" and she gets PISSED. She started yelling at me about lord knows what (4/?)

and things like "you wouldn't be mad unless you were guilty of something, idk what you're getting so hyper for then". I am (or, well, now was) supposed to be going out for lunch with a few friends tomorrow, and so she was like "there's no way you're stepping out of the house tomorrow. watch me." and then I started crying, bc I'm an angry crier (if that makes sense), and she got even more angry?? Anyway she kept yelling, and she's still mad at me (5/?)

I know I shouldn't have tossed and pushed my food away, but I feel like I have the right to be upset about something? Like don't constantly walk around saying you're my "best friend" when you literally aren't even willing to listen to me when I tell you that I don't like something that you're constantly doing?? Idk what I've ever done for her to be so untrusting of me. I'm not that small anymore, is it unfair of me to ask for some level of privacy?? (6/?)

And the fact that she won't even let me express my feelings hurts me even more. Like I'm not even allowed to be hurt or upset anymore?? Oh and best part, she came into my room again a few mins ago and was like "you've really hurt me, I'm upset". So she's allowed to be hurt, but I'm not? And why is she guilting me like this? Ik she's just trynna make sure I'm safe and protected, but I'm almost an adult now, it's about time she lets me make decisions for myself, no? (7/8)

anyway, that's that. so i'm probably not attending the final outing with my friends before school starts, the one outing i've been looking forward to. I was just trying to study and relax, and now my head hurts from crying so much. I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I just want some space to be ME, not someone she wants me to be. I'm sorry for ranting for so long, I just needed to get this off my chest. Love you, thank you for letting me rant. (8/8)

Oh wow update: she just sent my brother into my room to tell me that she's crying bc of me, and that she was just joking so I should go say sorry. And I hate that she is, bc I really do love her, but what about me? I've been crying for the last hour, what about that? So I told him that I didn't think it was funny, and that I've asked her not to do this multiple times before, so "please don't guilt me". And he left and I heard him telling her whatever I said. I feel selfish now :( (9/8) 

----

wow okay, first, this isn’t stupid at all, this is wrong, it is not okay or normal that she does this to you, mom shouldn’t be reading their daughters texts or have passwords and specially if you never gave her a reason for her to feel like she can trust you. I know moms just want to protect but that’s not the right way and i’m so sorry she’s doing this, idk what you could tell her for her to stop, she has to realize that herself

I think this is your mom’s issue, you’re not responsible for her trust issues, this goes deeper, is there anything going on with her and your dad that makes her feel this way? 

idk how common it is for moms to track phones, it isn’t a thing here but the passwords and texts thing is way too much and making you feel guilty too

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Honestly gonna have to agree with your friends and fam here when they say "ah it makes sense" bc you have a lot gemini in you chart and you tend to overshare haha have never met a gemini who weren't talkative little angels tho 😂 Your roommates boyfriend needs to get with the program bruh he needs to stop fighting it and just join in haha.

I'd love for things to work out between me and earth signs too like! Every time I meet someone new I'm like "it's just astrology bs, ima give them a chance" and then next thing you know I'm laying on my bedroom floor having a meltdown bc of said person 🤟 but! I'll not loose hope. I'm so sorry to hear you were in a toxic relationship with a water sign, I hope you've been able to heal from that experience.

Okay so now I understand the draw to fire and air signs. You know sag and gem are sister signs which means there's almost like a magnetic pull between them, it's like a instant recognition of each other in a very illogical way. I think it's really cool when that happens and have definitely felt it before, more recently with my last roommate when I was living in Canada. She was a gorgeous Canadian gemini and needless to say I had a huge crush on her but by the way we flirted with each other all the time I think it's safe to say the feeling was mutual.

Right 1st house gemini venus. I kinda wanna laugh but ik it's rude, sorry. Listen you like to connect to people through intelect rather than looks. You're a natural charming person and it's really easy to attract others to you. You can be very flirty, even if you don't mean to be. You're kinda hard to pin down tho, you need constant excitement and stimuli to keep things going otherwise you get bored. You don't like routine especially when it comes to affection. Then you tend to have a lot of friends and you have a way of putting people at ease and you spread your love generously.

As for your 11th house aries Mars: you're not afraid to make the first move or to share your feelings and you can be very creative in bed but obviously depends on how comfortable you are with that. The 11th house focuses on friendship, you gather friends from all different social settings in your life. You also have a unique way of expressing yourself which often times makes you feel like an outsider.

Idk if any of this made sense to you but hopefully it will give you a better understanding of your birth chart. And you might be able to discuss it with your friends and family and see if they agree too! I found this Playlist on Spotify with a venus in gemini theme and I thought I'd share it with you. Don't know what kind of music you like specifically but this is a fun one!

https://spoti.fi/3mIdC4R

Wait is Moderna just called Modern over there? Lol I live in Portugal so I guess they just translated the name to portuguese (??) now I feel stupid hahaha 😂 and yeah definitely not complaining about the side effects, just glad to be fully vaccinated. Let me know if you want to know more about other placements on your chart and I'm looking forward to the new MoU update! Have a great week!

Honestly I talk so much like I need to stop talking so much it's a big issue of mine haha!! and I am guessing that's because I have so much gemini in my chart... I think I have 3 lots of gemini in my chart which is the sign that appears the most so if they overshare and talk a lot that makes sense!! I mean he does need to get with the programme and join in... he's a Virgo... don't know if that means anything or not haha Please don't lose hope I am sure one day an Earth sign will surprise you and it will all work out for you!! I have healed a lot from that experience thank you, there are still somethings I have issues with (trust being a huge one) but a lot of other things I have been able to work past and have healed from it all which is a good thing really I've come a long way since getting out of that relationship it's taken a while but I got there in the end and like you I always try and give water signs a chance but I am a little weary of them though I know they are definitely not all the same and that more than anything this was a case of a terrible person over a zodiac sign I have such a strong pull to Sagittarius people one of my sister's is a sag and she is without a doubt one of my best friends we're so close and my roommate who I have been friends with since we were like 14-15 is a sag too and I've never been able to talk to or trust a person like I trust her she has asked me to be the god mother of her child due in January because she just trusts me so much too... but if gemini and sag are sister signs that really makes so much sense that I get along with sags so well!! It's so interesting that you have felt that pull before too and would be so cool if she did feel the same way (which with what you're saying I am sure she did) Yeah that makes sense to me I always see looks as a bonus if I am attracted to someone but intellect and personality come top of the list for me looks aren't a big deal at all and I often for a personality before anything else... I have been told I can be charming and used to get away with a lot of things at school and college because I would charm my way out of it and I have been told that a lot of the time as I've gotten older that people haven often wondered "is she flirting with me or not?" because of how I act around people like all the time!! I would definitely agree that I need constant excitement because I get bored VERY easily when things like affection become monotonous and just routine like I get bored so easily its unreal I don't know about making the first move as such but I definitely let other people know they can like I definitely don't beat around the bush with things and will 100% just tell people how I feel if I am into them, but won't make a move until I know that feeling is reciprocated but I do always tell people exactly how I'm feeling... I have made lots of friends in the past from lots of different walks of life so I think all of this in my chart definitely makes sense to me and I can see why people do say "Ahh that makes sense" Thank you so much for explaining all this to me I really appreciate it and now know I can join in with people when they talk about star signs and all that stuff so thank you very much!! I will definitely listen to that playlist tonight while I do some writing!! Thank you And no it's still called Moderna here sorry my phone must have auto-corrected that so please don't feel stupid at all because it was my phone being stupid and auto-correcting and I didn't realise it had done it!! I would honestly love to know more about my chart because I have repeats of a few signs like Taurus appears twice, so does Capricorn, and Scorpio and as I said before, Gemini appears 3 times... so I have a lot of double ups in my chart and I just wonder what all this means about me I guess... Thank you so much I'm hoping to have a MoU update very soon!! Hopefully tonight actually if I can get together the last few thousand words it's gonna be another long one for you all!! Thank you so much I hope you have a great week too!! ☺️

[matildashoney]

So i need some advice and somehow i felt like you were the right person to talk to. My new years resolution was to not get a bf (ik i'm odd and i didn't even expect to get one) because i'll be doing an internship in a very well known international company for 6 months and then i will start my masters degree (preferably in london) and yeah. I just don't have time. So i will basically be moving around a lot this year. Then on new years i meet this guy through a friend... (1)

… and i can tell that he likes me. I lind of like him as well but idk how. He’s not really my type (only 6cm taller than me) but still kind of good-looking. Because i wasn’t sure about my feelings so i went with it but last night i thought about it and i just can’t picture myself in a longterm relationsship with him. But on the other hand something will be missing when he’s not around anymore. My plan is to say that i can’t guarantee anything because idk how everything will go when i move (2)

… on february 1st. But i feel bad because ik that he’s in love and i’m so hesitant and i don’t want to be the ass because i then say “no i don’t want to”. I really don’t know what to do. Do you have an idea? (3)

Hmm. Sounds like you’re in an incredibly tough spot, and I’m sorry you’re going through this, at the moment.

Relationships are so odd because each one is different, y’know? With one relationship, you can completely enthralled with your partner and absolutely adore and love them, but in another, it could seem as thought being with them is the biggest mistake of your life (with me, i’ve experienced the latter), and it changes your perspective on relationships every time, regardless. When you know you specifically don’t want a relationship, it always seems as thought that’s when someone comes around that you would definitely consider having a relationship with, isn’t it?

I’m not very good with relationships. I like having a significant other, and a person I truly enjoy their company and have a crush on, but when a label is stuck on me, I tend to find myself bored with the relationship and I’ll back out of it as soon as I can. It’s horrible, and my New Year’s resolution was to better myself with that and stop myself from blocking relationships (specifically with this one boy I absolutely adore and am in love with). 

I understand what it’s like to not want a relationship and DEFINITELY understand what it’s like to be utterly confused when you like someone completely off your stereotypical “type”. Once, my favourite teacher in school told me, “as long as you can look at them without puking, they’re a keeper”. Now, I live by that. I think it is SUCH a smart thing.

We all have different “types” and we tend to not stray from our stereotypes as we’re looking for a significant other. Until this boy, I fell for blonde hair and blue eyes every time, but I also wouldn’t consider anyone if they were too nice to me (this boy is so nice to be I don’t even understand it sometimes). I understand the confusion on why suddenly you like him, because I have the SAME feelings towards the boy I like. 

But, I think that if you like him, or think you may like him, I think you should put aside your stereotype and try out a friendship first. See what it’s like to hang out, to be friends. See how your friendship is when you leave for your internship and how it would be if you hang out or get together for lunch/coffee, one day. See how comfortable you are with him and how you feel every time you see him - that’s how you’ll know whether you want a relationship with him or not.

But with what to tell him? I would say something along the lines of, “Hey, I like you and I know I’m leaving for (insert place you’re doing your internship and master’s degree), but I would really like it if we could be friends and get to know each other once I’m started.” Once you mention that you don’t want a relationship, it’s basically in the same territory as a friend-zone, and if there’s any chance you may like him more than a friend, you won’t want to do that.

Hope this helped you!!

I’m very flattered you wanted to talk to me, too. I’m always here when you, lovelies, need to talk - about anything!

caitlin xx

#personal

[dork-with-a-uke]

i'm not sure exactly how to explain this but i feel like i'll die soon (well 'soon' is a bit of an exageration). i mean, i'm not going to kill myself tomorrow or next week, or even next month. but i feel like i won't be alive to see the end of this year. i really don't want to bother you with this, i feel like i'll come off as i'm just trying to get attention or smth, even though i'm as far from asking for attention as one could possibly be, but i can't talk to anyone else. i try to ignore (1/?)

these thoughts, but every day i feel like i’m just trying to ignore the inevitable. i honestly don’t see any point in my life. it seems these days that my back up plan for everything is dying. i don’t care about anything - my grades, going to university, finding a job. it all seems pointless, because why bother, when i’ll be too dead to have to worry abt such stuff. besides, this ‘normal’ life really isn’t what i want, it actually terrifies me. idk, man, i don’t want to make it such a big (2/?)

deal, but i honestly don’t see any point to keep going on. ik people say that it gets better and you just have to hold on just a little longer, but i truly don’t think that my life could get better. i’ll graduate (in a few months), i’ll have to find a job and go to university, and i’ll just get worse (from mental POV - depression, anxiety, self-harm, etc) with every day, until one day i won’t be able to take it anymore. i can literally feel a weight on my chest from thinking about the (3/?)

future, because i feel how much worse i’ll get and than at one point end everything. ik my family and friends will miss me and i feel like i’m being so selfish for wanting to die, but i can’t help it. things get better, but i truly don’t believe that this will be the case for me too. i really want to die, i just still don’t have the energy (and guts, tbh) to actually do it, but one day in the future…i don’t want to bother you, so if that’s to much for you, feel absolutely free not to answer.

—

first of all, I want to apologise for how long it took me to answer this; you really deserved a quicker answer and tumblr honestly didn’t help

second of all, i think I understand what you mean when you say you don’t see a point; I’d love to tell you that what exactly the point of life (in general) is, but I honestly have no idea. The thing is, you need to create your purpose. It’s been a long time since I’ve first been acquainted with this concept and I never really figured out whether you were supposed to create your purpose or find it, as those two are still very different ways of saying it.

I’m going to talk about myself for a sec, because, well, what I feel is the only thing I can be sure of: i don’t see myself in the future. I don’t see myself as a uni student, don’t see myself in a relationship, much less in a job or have a family. I don’t know what that translates to but honestly it barely worries me and I just realised that we might not be that different after all?

I’m not going to repeat what you’ve already heard thousands of times and tell you that it’s worth it to hang on -and I say it because I mean it, and you have to trust me that I mean every word I say- but it’s okay to live day to day. Live for today, and don’t worry too much about the future right now. I know it’s hard not to do that when everyone around you is getting uni offers and making plans but if that is best for you, then please do that. Live today.

I haven’t been to university yet so I’m not speaking from experience but I am sure that university puts you in a different setting and will not necessarily worsen your mental state, you know?

The last thing I can tell you is that I want you to live. I know it’s silly of me to say that, it might sound stupid or even cliché to you but I want you to give yourself a chance. I know you’re strong enough to carry on, and I want you to be able to thank yourself later on for having had the courage to live on. I need you to stay. I love you, friend. Know that you can come to me anytime you need.

#you are NEVER bothering me okay #I care about you so mch #I love you #ask #anon #I'm sorry my thoughts are all over the place #I'm sorry if this didn't help