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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 4 months

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Never Have I Ever - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Civilian Contractor! Reader (Callsign: Dove)

Length: 3.2k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Warnings: Female Reader with a Callsign, but no Physical Description or Name; Not Necessarily Healthy Decisions/Coping Mechanisms; Shy! Reader; Lots of Jokes About Innocence; Slow Burn; Coworkers to Friends to Lovers; Oblivious Idiots; Excessive Pining

Summary: Dove is tired of being stereotyped as the nice, quiet girl who's so innocent it hurts. So, who does she call to help her? Hangman.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Master List

It was always the quiet ones, they said. It was always the ones that you least expected. And Dove, the Dagger Squad’s resident civilian contractor, was just that.

She was quiet, shy, and had taken several weeks to actually accept an invite out to the Hard Deck with the rest of the squad. But now that she was standing in front of him with a determined, hardened stare, Hangman knew that he was going to get a headache. Or maybe have a heart attack. Or both.

And here he thought that he would get to enjoy his whiskey in peace on his first night of leave.

“You want me to do what?” he asked as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“I want you to teach me how to be like you,” Dove replied, like it was a common request.

“An asshole?”

“I guess, sort of,” Dove stated softly. “I know that I have a rep of being a . . .”

“Goody two shoes?” Hangman offered with a teasing smirk, taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah,” Dove replied a bit tensely. Straightening up, she added, “And I’d like to change that.”

“Why?” Hangman asked, setting down his glass.

He looked her up and down, only finding more evidence to prove his point. She wore jean shorts that were perhaps a little short—for a nunnery. Her shirt was a plain graphic tee, leaving everything except the very top of her collarbone to the imagination. And whatever make up she wore didn’t make her any less innocent or doe-eyed.

“Because no offense, Dove, but you really live up to your callsign.”

“So do you, Hangman,” Dove replied, staring him down with a defiant expression.

He sighed, slowly rubbing his hand down his face. Well, here comes the headache. Taking another sip of his whiskey, Jake turned to Dove, trying to read her. Sure, he had made a few comments about how she could live a little. Loosen up and enjoy herself for once. But he had a feeling that her request wasn’t just a one-night proposition.

And that quietly unnerved him.

“You want me to help you stop being so innocent?”

“I’m not innocent,” she snapped back.

“Alright, but you are a goody two shoes,” Hangman drawled and Dove didn’t move to argue with that point.

“So, do you have any ideas?” Dove asked after a moment, resting her hands on the table.

“You heard of Never Have I Ever?”

“Of course, I have,” she scoffed.

“Alright, well, we’re going to play a game of Never Have I Ever.”

“That’s your big plan?” Dove questioned, not looking impressed.

“You wanted my expertise on the subject,” Hangman reminded her, getting up and leading her in the direction of the Dagger Squad.

“And how many times are we going to play that?” Dove huffed, following after him.

“I don’t know. Ten?”

“That’s it?”

“One hundred then,” Hangman stated, turning to face Dove, whose eyes widened a fraction as he turned to face her. His smirk widened and he leaned in a little closer, hoping to unnerve her to back out of this ridiculous idea. “Unless you think you can’t handle it?”

“I can handle it,” she growled with determination shining in her eyes.

“Then let’s begin.”

~~~~~

#1 - Smoked a Cigarette

“Are you sure about this, Dove?” Bob asked, opening up his pack.

They were standing outside the Hard Deck together. Hangman hung back a step, there to be a witness and a fireman, if necessary. Bob shared a concerned look with Hangman, who shook his head in response. Turning back to Dove, who was glaring at the floor, Bob tried to reason with her.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Just hand me a cigarette, Bob,” she demanded, holding out her hand.

Bob tentatively handed over a cigarette to Dove, who took it quickly but seemed to pause when Bob took out his lighter. Bob lit up his own cigarette and took a drag before handing the lighter over to Dove. She took it firmly but seemed to struggle to light a flame. And Hangman could only watch her struggle to light her cigarette so many times before he finally stepped in. Taking the lighter from her, he lit it with a flick of his thumb before holding it out to Dove.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Hangman told her. “Just copy Bob.”

Dove held the cigarette over the flame and slowly brought her lips to the other end of it. She took a drag like Bob did, but unlike Bob, she immediately started coughing. Hangman sighed and took the cigarette from her hand as she continued to cough.

“You alright?” Hangman asked her, putting out the cigarette. Pulling out a cup of water, he placed it down in front of Dove.

“How are your lungs still functioning?” Dove coughed out, directing her question at Bob, who shrugged in response. “Jesus Christ!”

“Well, one down, ninety-nine left to go,” Hangman stated calmly, typing away at his phone. “What’s next?”

~~~~~

# 2 - Done a Shot of Tequila

“You’ve never actually done a shot of tequila? You’ve spent the last five years of your life in the Southwest,” Hangman pointed out, causing Dove to give him a sharp look.

“She’s never actually finished a shot of tequila,” Bob explained, causing Dove to sigh.

“I don’t like tequila, alright?” she mumbled quietly.

“Then why are you drinking it?” Hangman asked her as Penny placed a shot glass down. Leaning forward a bit more, he added, “Don’t do this stuff if you don’t actually want to do it.”

“I do want to do it,” Dove stated firmly.

“You just said—”

“—I want to do this.”

Dove and Hangman had a bit of a staring contest before he sighed and broke it off. Penny filled up the shot glass and placed a saltshaker on the bar before handing Dove a wedge of lime. She offered Dove a small smile before shooting Hangman and Bob warning looks to watch her before heading off to serve more customers.

“You don’t have to do this,” Hangman reminded Dove gently.

“I need to,” she replied quietly.

Dove stared down at the shot for a moment, resting her hands on the bartop. She looked like she was going to walk away for a moment until she suddenly grabbed the shot glass and knocked it back. Wincing and gagging, Dove shoved the lime into her mouth, sucking on the tart wedge dramatically. Jake leaned over the bar and grabbed a few more lime wedges, which Dove took gratefully.

“Alright, what else can we do here tonight?”

~~~~~

# 3 - Stolen Toilet Paper

Dove stepped out of the womens’ bathroom and held up a roll of toilet paper, shooting Hangman an annoyed look as he gave her a thumbs up in return.

“This is the best that you could come up with? Really?”

“I’m working on it. Trust the process.”

Dove sighed and handed him the roll of toilet paper before walking off, shaking her head. Hangman set the toilet paper down before walking after her.

“We need some help,” Dove stated, heading towards the Daggers.

~~~~~

# 4 - Gone Commando

“How do you feel?” Phoenix asked as Dove stepped out of the womens’ room.

“Like I should have worn a different pair of shorts for tonight,” Dove replied, awkwardly pulling at her jean shorts.

“Just do a lap and put them back on,” Hangman suggested, causing Dove to nod.

She walked off to do a lap of the bar, allowing Phoenix to turn to Hangman with slightly narrowed eyes. Hangman promptly ignored her gaze, watching Dove as she walked around, making sure that no one messed with her. There was no way that Dove would actually be able to talk her way out of most situations in her current state.

“What’s going on with her?” Phoenix asked quietly.

“I don’t know what’s going on with her.”

“So, why are you doing this then?”

“She asked me to help her and because I’m a gentleman, Phoenix, I decided to help her,” Hangman replied, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“If you’re planning on humiliating her later—”

“—And why would I do that?” Hangman asked Phoenix defensively, causing Phoenix to purse her lips together.

“You made fun of Bob in the beginning. And they’re pretty similar. Except Dove doesn’t hold her own as well as Bob does in situations like this.” Phoenix turned forward again as Dove began to walk back over. “I just want to make sure that she doesn’t get hurt. She’s obviously going through something.”

Hangman didn't respond to Phoenix and simply stared ahead until Dove walked back over.

“I’m never doing that again,” Dove sighed, heading straight to the bathroom.

“Did you want to do the same with your bra just to knock another one off the list?” Jake suggested, but Dove shook her head.

“No, I can’t.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve done that before. Plenty of times,” Dove explained, opening the door to the bathroom.

“Oh.”

Phoenix glanced up at Hangman, who did not meet her gaze once again.

~~~~~

# 5 - Eaten Food Off of Someone Else

“Don’t look at me while I do this,” Dove pleaded with Hangman, who stared up at the night sky.

“It’s just a French fry, Dove. And you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“No, you’re right,” she sighed. “It’s just a French fry.”

Hangman kept his eyes focused on the stars. Dove leaned down and took the French fry that he placed on his bare stomach between her teeth. She seemed to struggle to pick it up without actually touching him and Hangman could see her squirming a bit before she finally grabbed it properly. Standing up, she chewed the fry as Jake sat up.

“You want to switch?”

~~~~~

# 6 - Had Someone Else Eat Food Off of You

Dove struggled to swallow her squeak when Jake swooped his head down and ate the French fry that she placed on her stomach without hesitation. Casually pulling out his phone as he chewed the French fry, Jake typed the latest challenge onto the list. Dove slowly sat up, pulling her shirt back down bashfully.

“You’ve done that before then?” she asked quietly, standing up from the couch.

“Yeah, a few times,” Hangman dismissed with a shrug of his shoulders. “What’s next?”

~~~~~

# 7 - Touched the Bar Floor with Your Bare Foot

Dove balanced herself with a hand on the table and slowly placed her foot down on the bar floor, cringing as she felt the sticky surface. Even most of the other Daggers were cringing as she held it there for a moment.

“That was so gross,” Dove huffed, pulling her foot back up. Leaning on the table, she shot the man who came up with that challenge a glare. “You’re dead to me, Fanboy.”

“My actual suggestion was lick it so—”

“—You are disgusting,” Payback cut off his wizzo.

“Come on, the beach shower isn't too far from here,” Hangman offered, holding out his hand, and helping Dove hop on one leg out the side door.

~~~~~

# 8 - Flashed Someone

Phoenix and Dove returned to the Dagger table from the bathroom.

“I can confirm that she does, in fact, have breasts,” Phoenix stated calmly, causing Dove to grow bashful and avoid eye contact with the other Daggers.

~~~~~

# 9 - Shotgunned a Beer

“Alright, just hold it like that for now,” Jake instructed Dove as he handed the beer can to her. “Now, when you’re ready, you’re going to turn it vertically and drink from the hole that I just made and quickly open the top while you do that.”

“Okay,” Dove agreed, running through the steps in her head. “Do I just go then?”

“Here, I’ll show you,” Rooster offered, stepping onto the sand beside Dove.

Dove watched Rooster with an edge of apprehension as he easily shotgunned his beer, growing only more nervous. It was like he was drinking water. And Dove wasn’t convinced that she would even finish half of it. She stared down at her own beer for a moment before glancing up at Hangman with a bit of a tentative look.

“Bradshaw was just showing off,” Hangman scoffed, shooting Rooster a look before turning back to Dove. “Don’t worry about it. Just do what you can.”

Dove nodded and slowly brought her mouth to the beer can before tilting it on its side. She struggled to open it while drinking for a moment, but eventually managed it. Dove took a few gulps before she quickly pulled the can away from her mouth, letting the remaining beer pour out onto the sand. Jake took the beer can from her as she wiped her mouth and neck.

“You alright?” Jake asked her.

“Yeah. It’s a good thing that I don’t like this shirt though,” she sighed, pulling at the fabric. “And that it’s not seethrough right now.”

“Yeah,” Jake agreed, trailing off quietly.

~~~~~

# 10 - Played Darts

“Alright, now this isn’t like throwing a baseball. There’s no big wind up. It’s just a flick,” Hangman coached Dove, who listened closely. “And I won’t tell you how to aim too much because I’m sure that you’re already calculating gravity and air resistance and all of that in your head. So, just try it out.”

Hangman handed her three darts and motioned for her to take a throw. Dove stepped up to the line and prepared to make her first throw when two men walked over.

“Can you teach the Girl Scout how to throw later? We’d like to play,” one of them stated gruffly, causing Dove to lower her hand slowly.

“You can wait or go to a different bar,” Hangman retorted back. “We were here first.”

“She obviously doesn’t even know how to throw. We want to play an actual game.”

“Congratulations,” Jake replied sarcastically. “We were still here first.”

Dove was about to tell Jake to just drop it and let the two men play to keep the peace, but he was prepared to dig his heels in.

“How about the man who scores the highest on one throw gets to stay?” the man suggested with a smirk.

“Fine by me.”

Handing over a dart, Hangman tilted his chin up with a challenging expression in his eye. The man took his shot first and Dove watched the dart land on the board. It wasn't in the center, but it must have been a decent shot because the man turned to his friend with a smirk before turning back to Jake.

Hangman glared at the man and stepped up a little bit before throwing the dart without looking. Dove couldn’t help the sudden and extremely warm feeling that came over her when she saw it land dead center. Holding her darts to her chest, she glanced over to see the men staring a bit dumbfounded at the board.

“Now, move along,” Jake warned them.

After they walked off with their tails between their legs, Jake collected his two darts.

“Go ahead,” he replied, as if nothing happened.

Dove nodded and turned to the board again. A bit unfocused, she tossed the first dart and winced when it bounced off the wood with an awkward clack.

“Don’t tell Penny about that.”

“Just relax. And loosen your stance some more.”

Dove let out some of the tension in her body and focused on the dart board. Lining up her shot, Dove ran through some quick calculations in her head before she tossed her second dart. It landed on the board and Jake stepped forward, nodding in approval.

“Not bad at all. But you need to turn more.”

Dove held her breath a bit as Jake quickly and methodically moved her hips and shoulders into place. She looked down at her feet as he moved her left foot back with his own, her grip on her dart tightening just a bit more.

“Alright, now try again.”

The whack of the dart hitting the wall caused Dove to grow a bit embarrassed for a moment. But she let out a breath to steady herself and lined up another shot. Taking a moment to center herself, she tossed the dart and smiled when it landed on the board.

“Land one more and you’re done,” Jake stated, handing her another dart.

Licking her lips, Dove lined up her last shot and threw it, landing on the board once again. She held up her hands victoriously and laughed before turning to Jake, who offered her a kind smile in return.

“Thank you,” she whispered out, giving him a quick hug.

“Any time.”

Jake released her from the hug and Dove moved to collect the darts to put them away. Clearing his throat, he looked at the floor before turning back to her as she walked back over.

~~~~~

# 11 - Not Tipped

“I feel bad about this,” Dove sighed, signing the receipt.

“It’s three dollars. I think that Penny will forgive you this one time,” Jake assured her.

“I’ll forgive you,” Penny stated, walking over to them. “Especially since you’re tutoring Amelia in math. And you refuse to take a normal rate for it.”

Dove nodded with a small smile and passed the receipt over to Penny with an apologetic expression. Jake got called over by Coyote for something, leaving Penny and Dove alone for a few moments.

“You sure that you’re alright, Dove?” Penny asked her softly.

“I’m fine, Penny.”

“You sure? You’re a nice girl. And there’s nothing wrong with being a nice person. I don’t have to throw people like you out of the bar, for one thing.”

“People take advantage of nice people,” Dove replied quietly, putting her card away.

“Just be careful, alright?”

“I will be.”

~~~~~

# 12 - Danced on a Table

Dove took Jake’s hand and stepped up onto the table. It was after hours at the Hard Deck and Penny had allowed her to dance up on the table for a little bit before they all headed home. Dove turned to face the Dagger Squad and grew a bit shy with all of them staring at her. Looking around like she didn’t know what to do, Dove nervously played with her shirt.

“Now what?”

“Hold on a second,” Rooster replied, jogging over to the piano.

He played a familiar tune and Dove started to do an awkward dance for a few seconds. But when people started clapping, she folded and quickly moved to hop off the table. Jake offered her a hand as she stepped down onto a chair.

“Alright, safe travels home everyone,” Penny called out, officially ending the night.

“We’ll pick up again tomorrow?” Dove suggested to Jake, sliding on her shoes.

“Yeah, just text me when you’re ready.”

“Thanks for doing this again,” she replied, getting to her feet.

“Don’t mention it.”

She nodded and smiled at him before turning to head out with Phoenix and Bob. Jake watched her go for a moment before moving to head home himself.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

#top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick #top gun: maverick #top gun #tgm #tgm fanfiction #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #hangman fanfiction #hangman fic #hangman series #hangman x reader #jake hangman x reader

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generalllimaginesss · 4 months

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"If the entire human population was in front of me, I'd still choose you” with Jack.

I can only imagine what it would be like to have fans attack you if you were publicly dating him. I feel like Jack is so conscious of this. And he’s just soft boyfriend Jack trying to block out the unnecessary noise.

Maybe they just went public and she’s getting a lot of hate and it’s making her insecure. And Jack reminds her that it’s just them against the world and the only people whose opinions matter are their family and friends who love her.

Warnings: self depreciation, insecurities, self image issues, etc. Please don't read if you're not in a good headspace!!!

This is probably my favorite thing that I’ve written. I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

plus size! reader x Jack Hughes

••

You knew that dating somebody in the limelight would have its challenges. Hell, dating an average person was hard. But nothing could have prepared you for the magnitude of hate that hit as soon as Jack went public with your relationship.

It wasn't like the relationship was new. The two of you had been dating for almost a year before he decided to post you on his Instagram. You let Jack set the pace since he was used to the attention. He could let things go in one ear and out the other a lot easier than you could. He was almost conditioned to be able to do that. You, on the other hand, took everything very personally. Every comment about your weight, about what you wore, about how Jack looked miserable with you, they all hit you like a ton of bricks.

You didn't understand why all of these people were coming at you saying so many horrible things, but Jack tried his best to ease your mind and remind you that at the end of the day it was you and him.

He did a really good job at this normally, but he was away on a roadie for a few days and things began to get really bad. This started when you saw a fan account for Jack post something about how Jack downgraded from Sienna to you and all of the comments agreeing.

It was like a rabbit hole...once you clicked on that post it led you to many others. They all made you feel like shit, but when people started commenting on your body, saying that they "didn't know Jack dated plus size girls," it hurt. Your body was yours. It wasn't like you could just zip it off and find a new one, but if you could you would, just to shut the comments up.

You spent the 3 days Jack was gone in a really dark depression. No laundry was done, you hadn't showered, and you barely could make yourself get out of bed to brush your teeth. Dishes piled in the sink, but you couldn't make yourself do them. You knew the signs of your depression, but you welcomed them in a way, almost like a coping mechanism. Not allowing people to see you was the only way the haters couldn't get new material. Was it a healthy way to cope? Obviously not, but it was what worked in the moment.

As soon as Jack walked through the front door, returning from the games, he could tell something wasn't right. You always kept up with the chores when he was away, normally making the house spotless before he got back. So when he saw the state of the kitchen and eventually the rest of the house, he knew something was off.

When he walked into the bedroom and saw that you were pretty much in the same spot he left you in he immediately dropped his bags and climbed into the bed with you, forcing you to look at him.

He gently shifted your body to face him, cupping your cheek gently with his hand.

"Baby, what happened," He made note of the streaks that stained your face, probably from countless hours of crying. He wanted to make them disappear immediately. You were his happy-go-lucky, carefree girl. You danced around the house all the time, singing whatever song was playing. This side of you was uncharted territory that he wanted to take away so bad.

"I just need you to hold me," You began to hyperventilate, worried that if he didn't hold you that he would leave you. Even though that would never in a million years cross his mind. But he did as you asked, and whether it was for 5 minutes or 30 minutes, he didn't know. He held you until you pulled away.

"Can we talk about it?" Jack asked, pulling the hair that crusted on your cheek from the tears out of your face. He treated you like you were fragile, and you hated that he felt that way.

"It's just the comments, Jack. I'm already insecure sometimes and these people come at me in so many horrible ways," You began to explain, loose tears streaming down your face, but you were composed otherwise.

"They compare me to Sienna, and God, I know I'm not as pretty as her. They tell me I'm fat and that they didn't know you dated "fat" girls. It's just insane. Do they not realize that I actually am a real person with real emotions? Do they know that I've believed, at some point in time, the things they are saying? I've worked so hard to get to this place where I'm at, to love who I am, and within the span of 3 days they just tear it all down," You let the words just flow from your mouth, whatever thought that comes to mind is voiced to Jack.

"Baby, they don't care. They don't care because they're jealous," He tries to soothe you, but it almost made you mad. Not at Jack, but at the whole situation.

"What the fuck are they jealous of? My thighs that I cover with leggings and pants so that I won't have to go through the pain of them chafing? Are they jealous of the fucking stretch marks that go up my stomach, so I refuse to wear regular bikini bottoms? I mean what the fuck, do they want my anxiety and depression? I will gladly give them that..." The tears were beginning to pick up, but Jack continued to rub your back, waiting to get the chance to speak again.

"I know you could have any girl you wanted. It makes me sick when I see some blonde walk past that looks like she stepped out of a magazine because I know that's what you deserve. You don't deserve this. You're Jack fucking Hughes," You looked at him, your lip quivering. You were going to say something else, but Jack put his finger on your lips, gently stopping you from continuing.

"You gotta stop that. I can't let you keep putting yourself down like this, not when I love you with my whole fucking heart," He began.

"First off, I had that. I had whatever you consider a girl walking out of a magazine is. Look how that turned out. It didn't, did it? You don't look like Sienna, and I'm so fucking glad because I don't want her kind of beautiful. I want your kind. I want to see all of the things on your body that show me that you lived. I don't want some manufactured cookie-cutter girlfriend. I want somebody that nobody else has," He pulled you in for a hug, continuing to talk while placing kisses ever so gently on your cheek and neck, looking out the window at the busyness that was the outside world. All he could think about was how you didn't see what he saw. Why couldn't you see it?

"Baby, I want you to realize something. If the entire human population was in front of me, I'd still choose you. Without a second thought, with no regrets. Every. Single. Time. You have such a special relationship with my brothers and that means the absolute world to me. They love you so much. My parents tell me I should marry you anytime that you come up in the conversation. The entire team has commented on how much happier I am with you. And if I'm being completely honest, at the end of the day I don't give a damn what anybody else has to say because it's me and you until the end. Do you understand me?" He broke the hug, cupping your face with both hands and wiping at the tears with his thumbs.

"I love you," You whisper, your voice long gone by now.

Jack pulls your forehead toward his lips, kissing it for a few seconds before letting your head go.

"I love you, too. More than you, or anybody else, will ever know. Now, I think we could go for some cleaning karaoke, yeah? I'll wash the dishes if you'll dry them," He poked at your side, trying, and succeeding, in forcing a grin on your face.

"Only if we can get a shower together afterwards," You bargained, taking in the beautiful boy.

"Deal," He says and drags you off to the kitchen, connecting his phone the the speaker and blaring Dierks Bentley's new song "Beer at My Funeral," occasionally twirling you in a circle.

The water may or may not have gotten everywhere since Jack decided it was a good idea to spray you with the hose that connected to the sink, but he enjoyed every second that he got chased by you around the island.

Once the dishes were put up and the shower washed away the remaining bit of your depression, Jack couldn't help but to just admire you. He promised himself then that he would remind you so often of how beautiful you were so that would be the only words ringing through your head, taking up any space that the hate may have. Because it was true. You were the most beautiful and precious thing that had ever walked into his life, and he'd be damned if anyone made you feel otherwise.

#nhl imagine #nhl fic #jack hughes #nhl fanfiction #quinn hughes #trevor zegras #alex turcotte #cole caufield #jack hughes imagines #nico hischier #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #jh86

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teratophilia · 26 days

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I've seen a few people talk about this and I want to add my few points in because we are not having this shit again, after years of adequate behavior being the norm in the community.

If you are narcissistic and you idealize being a cult leader/a serial killer/an abuser/some other sort of fucked up control-having entity in power of other people, I need you to cut that shit out. I've been there and it took professional help and a supportive partner to get me out of it. This is a dangerous route to go and you will fuck yourself up.

Glamorization of NPD is not the same as acceptance of NPD, and it's definitely something that goes against destigmatization of NPD.

Sanism and erasure of NPD symptoms in order to make us "palatable" are bad, but so is refusing to handle our symptoms; it's a disorder for a reason. It's okay to sometimes revel in being "the bad guy" but you also have to understand that's a coping mechanism, and not a healthy one; you gotta fix that shit.

At the end of the day, the point of NPD awareness & acceptance is to prove to people that narcissism and abuse are not synonymous and people who are narcissistic are not inherently abusive. Choosing to be a dickhead/abuser/rude bitch/etc. and then excusing it with narcissism is quite literally the opposite of our aim as a community. Also, it's genuinely so embarrassing and childish to read.

#𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖: 📡#npd #actually npd #actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b #narc safe #npd safe

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butteronpancakes · 1 year

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An unfortunate trend I’ve been seeing in my blorbos from recent fandoms

EDIT: Some important clarification below on the characters tagged in the og post

While this is obviously open to interpretation to any fandoms/ocs, all but one of the ‘B’ characters I tagged was referring to personal headcanons on their dynamic with A and their initial reactions (so roughly the first few months of A’s disappearance). Over time, I do believe a lot of them eventually learn to move on and/or develop healthy coping mechanisms.

That being said unhealthy co-dependancies are narratively engaging to others as well so go wild in the reblog tags.

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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 1 year

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Yandere Best Friend

Tw: childhood abuse, divorced parents, bullying, violence, angstt, parental neglect

ageless blogs n minors DNI blease tq <3

my masterlist

hi guys after a long hiatus i come back , coping mechanism time

i wrote this like from 11pm to 3am in a frenzy so dont exepct much , ridden wih typos, contradiction,grandma misrake and idk if the reader here is fully gender neutral or i accidentally sprinkled some afab in there

thersras like a part 2 to this so eyah stayetuned

enjoys

He was there from the very beginning, that quiet boy from elementary that you shared your sandwich with when no one bats an eye at him.

He was quiet, you were considered uninteresting. Both of you are somewhat outcasts and the other children held no interest towards you and him. Perfect match for each other, instant best buddies, bonded by mutual loneliness.

Well, maybe, not instant. He was weary and so were you, it took a while before you gained his trust. He made sure you didn't stuff nasty, gritty bugs in that sandwich like how all the other kids would do. You made sure he didn't accept it just to throw it in your face.

Once it was established that you didn't add an extra ingredient and he isn't going to play bread frisbee, the door to a long and strong friendship was established. He doesn't have much to say, but he's never short on kind gestures when it comes to you. Are your bags heavy? Let him carry them, he's a strong boy; he drinks his milk and gets his healthy amount of sleep. You forgot to do your 5th grade long division homework? He is going to swap his completed homework sheets with your empty ones, he's okay with being scolded. He has some stupidly thick skin from what goes on at home.

Your yoyo is really cool, you said. You own that yoyo now. No, really, it's okay. He doesn't really need it and it made you happy when you had it in your small hands. Yes, it took him months of begging his busy, overworked, broken, divorced, struggling, knee-deep in debt dad and a couple of missed lunches to get that shiny yoyo, but he loves seeing your surprised expression and dazzling smile.

Oops, you spilled your drink all over another classmate's book, or you broke a window, or you dented a teacher's car. It doesn't matter how many people witness it, it doesn't matter what you say, he's responsible and will gracefully accept all repercussions and punishments even if that means receiving a couple more ugly bruises on his body that night.

Who doesn't like candy? He sure loves them. That's why, he uses up all his already scarce pocket money to buy you some. You protest, he's confused, don't you like candy? Yes, he knows he won't be eating a lot these few weeks because he can't afford it, but don't you like candy?

Are your hands dirty from eating all that chocolate? Here, use his white shirt as a napkin. No, really, it's okay! He's your friend, he would do anything for you... are your shoes muddy too?

Happy birthday! It's a very special day for you and him too, that's why, he saved up enough to buy you a tasty cake and a pair of beautiful promise rings made up of gold! Isn't that cool? Don't worry about how he got the money and please ignore the giant, bloodied cotton gauze on his head, please ignore his black eye, please ignore the strange burn marks on his limbs. His extra injuries are due to... him falling off a bike. You know that's not true. That's not how he got them. He is going to be really sad if you don't accept his gifts, better just shut up, smile, say thank you, kiss the boo-boos away, stuff your face with delicious cake and wear the damn ring.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night, goodbye, I love you and all the other greetings are something you hear everyday from him. Hm, the teachers are complaining that he isn't that polite to them or to the other children, all they get are silent blank stares at best, a scowl and a spitting hiss at worst.

Halloween's here, you're dressed up as a generic bedsheet ghost because its the cheapest to do. While he's dressed up as a horror movie survivor. Wow, the cuts, tattered clothes, blood, abuse marks and limping walks really sold the costume. But you and him both know very well that these aren't done using makeup or prosthetics.

You and him went on trick and treating quietly.

Aww, you both are so adorable. Candies for days. Your pumpkin buckets filled up quick, that's because your friend keeps piling his candy into yours.

Aren't chocolate bars his favorite? Yes, of course. They're so expensive, delicious and very unafforable. But why does he keep giving them to you and leaving none for himself? Because they're everyone's favorite, including yours, duh!

Such a young gentleman, he is the type to lay his coat over a puddle of water for you to cross over it.

Middle school is where children usually begin to explore the concept of romance. Maybe you saw him as a brother, maybe you weren't attracted to him at the time, maybe you wanted to put his devotion for you to the test. Whatever the reason was, you consistently friendzone him whenever he tried to court you.

But it's okay, he is willing to wait. He is willing to have his eyes sting with tears, heart broken over and over again. He is willing to grit his teeth and clench his fists while forcing a smile, watching you experiment with the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend with other people. He is willing to be the third wheel to every single one of your dates with other kids. Your friend is always going to be there for you no matter what, he is your unyielding safety net, he is your second choice, he is always the best alternative or default when the puppy love didn't work out. And, he found solace in that. Others come and go, he is the fucking constant.

Then, he is going to try his luck. He will do it over and over again. You're going to accept it one day.

Your friend loves flowers. He speaks the language and gives you bouquets of red roses and pink Camellias. You usually chuck it in a vase filled with water and let it wilt, they're going to be replaced anyways.

He found that the food in the cafeteria can be awful, with goopy expired milk, to half frozen pizzas, they're bound to cause some poor kid to puke their guts out later in the day. He is making sure you're not that kid, so, he dedicated what precious free time he had to hone his cooking skills. He is a busy boy, working god knows how many jobs a 12 year old can work in a day, just to fund this essential skill of his.

Middle schoolers can be so cruel, your friend may not look the most feminine, but it's the actions he does out of love that makes the children pick on him for being different. Ew! He likes flowers and cooking! Gross! Evil! Unnatural! Independent! So not Alpha!

It starts off rocky at first, bullies will sabotage him whenever they can, kick him while he's down. Ruin his stocks, call him names and vandalize his belongings, but he gets the last laugh when he makes fucking bank by selling warm, hearty, tasty meals. They're a big hit among the staff who have no time to cook for themselves and have half a brain to know eating from the cafeteria is a bad idea.

Of course, his beloved sweetheart gets to eat for free. And has the privilege to go for seconds, thirds, fourths, however much your stomach desires. Yours are always personalized to fit your palate and presented in the most appetizing way.

Soon, other children began buying his meals too. As it turns out, they fucking slap.

He began expanding, selling resold candies at a ridiculously marked up prices, but the way he marketed and packaged them, gave an illusion that he's selling a premium product. They sold out like hotcakes, while you ate wrapper after wrapper without needing to pay a single cent.

Hey, he really has a knack for business! He is raking in profits, bringing you out to eat, spoiling you with riches a self made, young entrepreneur would have, excelling in Business studies, Accounting, Mathematics and Psychology.

He began testing the limits of his trading empire, he began dabbling in service based business such as delivery, doing homework for a price, obtaining blackmail material... that is how he knew your homeroom teacher had an extramarital affair with the principal. Hmm... the principal seems to kiss his ass a lot and you get a bunch of privileges. You wonder why that happened.

His reputation grew as his shrewdness grew. Your friend was too intimidating to be bullied, as one of his business ventures includes hiring others to do some dirty work for him. You don't know the full extent of his giant conglomerate enterprise, and you don't want to know.

You remember seeing a female teacher handing him a wad of cash, her hair tousled, her clothes were messy, her lipstick smeared and weird stains were all over her body. For sure, she didn't just find it laying around in the boys' bathroom... and, there were a lot more boys requesting a bathroom break that day.

Your friend bought you the latest smartphone model on the same day too. You were disturbed with what you saw and the implications, so you asked if she even got anything out of working under him and... if she even agreed to work as... whatever she was. He just smiled, cup your cheek and told you to never, ever, ever, cheat in a relationship. Especially not with him.

He then followed up with his probably hundredth love confession for you. Which you promptly friendzone him again. Your friend would simply sigh and change the subject. Do you like your phone? He asked as you began unboxing it, the loud chatter from the mall's food court drowned the voice of doubt in your head.

His wallet is growing wider, he is growing taller, posture disciplined, voice deeper and he lost the majority of his baby fat. Giving him a sharper, meaner, leaner look, his physique is nothing to scoff at either. All those pastry batter mixing, soup stirring, skull bashing hustling and bustling sculpted those perfect abs and ass. His hair now has a healthy sheen to it since he can afford better things, his skin had no flaw and the protruding ribs on his chest is now covered up with muscular pecs.

Being pretty does have its' privileges, he observed a sale boost in his balance sheets.

Time waits for no man. Before you know it, the both of you are in Graduation togas. Smiling for the camera, you gave your friend bunny ears.

Your friend started worthless in everyone's eyes, something to poke fun at, a punching bag, forgettable and nothing serious. He transformed into this feared, revered, worshipped yet hated entity. Your friend no doubt made as many enemies as allies, that's just how it is in the business industry. Cold blooded, ruthless and absolutely bizarre to you.

He has obviously put some of the staff and students in horrible situations for his benefit and sometimes for your entertainment. They seem to genuinely see him as some sort of god, someone to cleanse them from all their sins. They... loved him. What a manipulative motherfucker.

As for you... your situation is pretty strange too. You are clearly the only person he cared about, the only person he truly ever loved and cherish. No one seem to conjure up the idea to use you against him. You seem... invisible, for the most part. And you are so grateful for that.

At least, that's what your friend wants you to think. You have no idea how many strings he has to pull to keep you safe and oblivious and innocent. You have no idea how much he had to spend to keep you pure and untainted. But, yeah. Keep believing its' due to some sort of cosmic karma system where you didn't incur any karmic debt.

It was the first time seeing his parents at this graduation ceremony, he never liked having you over at his house. They looked like how you imagined them; miserable, horrible, unhealthy and volatile. They really should not be seated next to each other, his parents looked like they're about to strangle each other and your friend at a moments' notice.

His father was smoking, plumes of grey wafted up in the open air. Ashes crumbled and dropped down to his lap. His necktie was undone and his office shirt was disheveled, much like his belt and scuffed shoes. It was a wonder how he's not escorted out of the venue yet.

His mother... she aged horribly. She looks irritated yet distant, she doesn't want to be here. Or does she not want to be with her ex husband? Maybe if they were separated by an opaque wall, the mood would be much more lifted. His mom wasn't mentioned a lot during conversations, you knew close to nothing except the fact that she gets him on the weekends.

Perhaps his mother is simply neglectful and not active, he did mention that its easier to prepare his sellable inventory during the weekends.

You're nervous to meet them, they're really unfriendly and they don't seem to care that much about their son's accomplishments.

Your friend gently wrapped his arm around your shoulders and rubbed his hand up and down your arm. As if to soothe you from the sight of his less than ideal parents.

To you surprise, he just shot them an indifferent look before leading you away. Their relationships must be unsalvageable.

The event comes to an end, your friend mingled with everyone who, the majority, had clenched fists behind their back. He then went to socialize with your parents, he knew them well and they also knew them well. Their opinions on him are lovely.

He continued his endeavors, trying out many different ventures. It was extremely dizzying with the sheer amount of businesses he had. Your friend moved out of his parents' house(s) and struggled with finding a place for a while. So he stayed over at your parents' house with you for the time being. You get to wake up to the smell of deliciousness every morning, the plants would be watered, furniture dusted, home sparkling clean. Though, he was rarely around.

Eventually, he found his footing and lived in his own place. It's a little cramped and it could qualify as a weapon of psychological warfare, but that was all he could afford at the time.

He fought tooth and nail to obtain a massive bank loan for his main business plan, he was stressing over opening his first restaurant. The logistics of it all, the raw materials, the hired help, the equipment, the advertising-- the pressure of it all was enough to break the average person, but not him. Oh, he thrived on this. He was calculating, he knew the costs, the risks and he saved up enough for a rainy day.

It took him many months, many trips to the bank, many meetings, many phone calls, emails, uncountable hours working 3 jobs a day, an eternity in the kitchen, in the sweltering heat of lit stoves heating up pots and pans, many times where he would lose his voice from aggressive marketing, persuasion, severe sleep deprivation, starvation, networking, tears, blood and sweat. There were more times than you can count with your hands that he was almost driven to insanity if it wasn't for you.

The thought of you alone was more than enough to ground him and keep his eyes on the prize, he is going to make so much money that, you and he wouldn't ever have to work ever again. You both would live happily ever after as a married couple, comfortable and never needing to worry if he could afford the next meal or keep the lights on.

That's nice. You wouldn't need to know what he went through, he doesn't want you to go through a life of hardship like how he did. You wouldn't ever need to work a day in your life.

Your friend rubbed his aching, calloused hands, ridden with cuts and scars. The golden promise ring sits around his finger, it wasn't his to begin with, he stole them from his parents when you both were kids. He found solitude knowing that your hands will never be like his, your back will not ache from overexertion, your muscles will be relaxed and your mind will be quiet, at peace. But only if he kept going. Only if he does not give up.

Everything he does, he does it for you. He thought to himself, as he rubbed his bloodshot eyes staring at the screen of his phone. It's showing that 5 more customers placed an order for his famous party platter through a popular social media app. Your friend sighed as he tucks his phone away before opening the door to his mini fridge containing all the ingredients needed for the orders. It's 11pm, he has to be at one of his workplaces at 6am tomorrow.

The day finally came where he would open the doors to his very own restaurant. There was a crowd waiting in front of the shiny, polished glass doors.

His team of service crews, cooks and baristas anxiously watched on as your friend glanced at his old, marred and cracked wristwatch. His hand was tightly gripping on the door handles as he watched the minute hand twitched. His eyes and mouth were dry, probably due to the dehydration he endured for a while now.

As soon as his accessory shows that it's time for the grand opening, he opened the floodgates.

Customers come rushing in like a torrent of water in a river. Some new, some old, some here to do their jobs as a journalist, some are his other associates, some are his estranged relatives, some are his rivals. It was an assortment of people, a mixed bag.

The Chefs are cooking up a storm in the kitchen, the wait staff are serving customers left and right, bringing them to their tables. Baristas are whipping up as much drinks as they can, as perfectly as they can. Not a single foam bubble out of place, or else all those training would have gone to waste.

It was loud, busy and fiery. Chaos yet it was controlled, Disorder but it was ordered.

Your friend was leading the flow, the rhythm. The pulse of the restaurant depended on him. He made sure everything is in line, satisfaction at an all time high and disappointment non existent. He barked commands, firm and domineering, he controls the scene with an iron hand.

Waitstaff were trained to strike up friendly conversations with customers whose orders will take a longer time, to give the illusion of speed. Cheery faces, toothy smiles, giggles and laughter filled the establishment's air, alluring aroma of cooked goods filled everyone's nostrils, making many stomachs growl. It was colourful, it was tumultuously harmonic, expression of glee would made its way to the patrons' face when their dishes gets served. All the meals go beyond their expectations, in terms of smell, texture, taste and plating.

Your friend made sure that the cooling system was working perfectly, as he works in a kitchen, the easiest way to get snappy and grumpy is to be hungry in an oven. Calming music that's faintly playing in the background also helps, but its' mostly for him and the other staff. Everyone else is too occupied with their own matters to notice.

Today should be a day of accomplishment, happiness and gratitude. Why shouldn't it be? Revenue is projected to be high, profits are guaranteed and expected to go through the roof. Logically, this restaurant will be sustainable for many decades to come.

But your friend... he is getting antsy, upset, distressed, unhappy. His staff is noticing that he isn't all there, he's getting crabbier by the second. They were baffled, everything is going well, he is handling it wonderfully and the pressure is actually slightly dying down.

Where are you? He had scanned the dining area many many times now. No sign of you... but your parents were there. That somewhat calmed him down a bit, if they're there, you should be there too... right? You're probably at the salad counter or the bathroom. He anxiously massaged his hands, where are you?

He trusts his staff to handle everything on their own. He decided to take big strides towards your parents. Your friend greeted them with a warm smile, an animated Hello. Your parents mirrored him and returned the affability.

He was desperate to see you again... oh god, how long has it been since he last saw you? Hear your voice? It must have been months. As this realization dawned on him, he felt the coldest chill run down his spine.

Did he... unintentionally neglected you in the process of building the perfect life? No, that can't be. He sent you texts everyday.

He clenched his jaw and pushed his gnawing thought away momentarily. He made small talk with your parents. It was fine until he abruptly cut them off and got to the point; Where are you?

Your parents glanced at each other and a look of discomfort washed over them. Your friend was using the table to support his weight as he leaned forward. His knuckles turning white from gripping the edge of the furniture too tightly.

They're studying abroad. They said. Your friend froze in place and widened his eyes.

What? Why didn't you tell him? Why didn't he know? Why--

He hastily whipped his phone out and frantically tapped on his cracked screen.

He trembled as he realized you never received his texts, let alone read it.

Your parents explained to him that you changed phone numbers two years ago when you left to continue your studies abroad.

Two years...? Its been two fucking years?!

Your friend began hyperventilating, his face was flushed and he was gagging and gasping. No, no, no this can't be. He is nothing like his parents! You meant everything to him, he had never intend to ignore you, he had never meant to neglect you! Your friend is losing grip on himself, he is shaking like a leaf. No one paid any attention to him, as he is simply insignificant at the moment.

Please... I-I need to call them, please let me call them! He was choking on his tears that were streaming down his face, dripping onto the pristine floors below.

Your father handed him his phone, your new number already dialed.

They're probably having an exam today. Your father tried to warn your friend, but he didn't hear a word. All he could think was you.

Your friend snatched it out from his hand and made a dash past all the staff, customers, chefs...

Until he reached the back door, upon which, he exited through it.

He sobbed, pressing the device against his ear, listening to it beep indefinitely.

The call eventually dropped because it wasn't picked up. His face was scrunched and his sniffles were bouncing off the walls and green dumpster nearby.

He tried again. The call dropped. He tried again. The call dropped.

He tried again,

Your friend crouched down to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest. His cries unheard by anyone, everyone else is in the restaurant. He is the only one at the back.

The call dropped.

I'm sorry. He mumbled repeatedly to himself.

He tried again.

I'm so sorry. He sobbed much harder this time, he cradled his face in his hand.

The call dropped.

Please forgive me. He squeezed his arm, his fingernails digging into his flesh.

He tried again.

You're always my number one. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have neglected you. He drew blood from piercing his skin with his nails.

The call dropped.

I'm sorry, I was only trying to build a better life for us. He took much shallower breaths.

He tried again

I would give up everything just to hear from you again, it means nothing to me if you're not here... with me. Please, I'm sorry. He was growing despondent, desolate. He was clutching his head, a ball of quivering mess.

The call dropped.

I love you. He whispered as he broke down completely. Angry at himself, angry at the world, angry at everything. Life isn't fair. He has done everything he needed to do and yet he the only reward he ever wanted isn't granted; you. He ruined everything, all of it, all his hard work, all of it was worthless. He felt worthless. The guilt and remorse and anguish of being a neglectful friend and partner was crushing him to death.

He wasn't there at the very end.

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writeforfandoms · 7 months

Text

Waking Lions 15

Find the series masterlist

You and John finally start talking. Progress is made in planning.

Warnings: Swearing, flirting, Price needs his own warning label, brief panic, mention of past trauma, Ace has zero healthy coping mechanisms and it shows.

Word count: 1.7k

You woke slowly, disoriented and warm and confused. This did not feel like your bed at your safehouse. Were you still at your safehouse? When had you crashed?

A soft snore from within the room reminded you.

Right. Captain. And Kate. They had conspired against you.

You breathed for a few moments before you very carefully got up. You were still fully dressed, your shoes set neatly next to Captain’s boots. It was oddly… domestic. You ignored the twinge in your heart with determination and snuck across the room, careful not to disturb Captain sleeping on the couch.

You had your shoes in one hand and were reaching for the door when a droll voice asked, “Going somewhere, love?”

“You were asleep.” You didn’t move, didn’t turn to look at him.

“And now I’m awake.” His voice was rough in the morning, something you tried valiantly to deny you found attractive.

You huffed and finally turned to look at him. He was sitting up on the couch, blue eyes focused entirely on you. Having the weight of that stare on you was… daunting.

“Were you gonna run again?” His voice was curious, lacking judgment.

You blew out a slow breath, debating how honest to be with him. But, well… He’d supported you all the way in here. He’d taken the couch and given you the bed. And… Well.

You remembered the tension yesterday. How close he’d been.

“Not sure,” you answered honestly. “Wasn’t really planning, just… going.”

He huffed, a soft sound of amusement. “Not even breakfast first?”

That startled a little laugh out of you, and your shoulders relaxed. Your shoes dropped to the floor again with a quiet thump. “You offering?”

His lips twitched with amusement. “I am.” He held still, merely watching as you slowly approached the couch.

“Part of your nefarious plot, I’m sure,” you teased, stopping out of arms reach.

“Nefarious, hm?” He tipped his head.

“Oh yes. Very nefarious.” Your teeth flashed in a grin. “After all, you’re in cahoots with Kate, and she’s the most ruthless person I know.”

He chuckled, low and rumbling. “You’ve got a point there,” he agreed, shifting to set his feet on the floor, gaze still locked on you. “Feeling better today, I see.”

“Yes, well.” Your gaze slid away from him. “Knocking out for however many hours certainly helped.”

“Nearly ten.” He stood with a little grunt, stretching his arms up over his head. Your gaze darted down to the sliver of tummy that stretch exposed, noting the dusting of hair, and quickly looked away again. “I wasn’t joking about breakfast.”

“You fuss over your boys like this?” You joked, turning away to protect yourself. The sight of Captain still sleep-tousled was very dangerous.

“The boys don’t try to vanish on me,” Captain replied dryly.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you protested. “I was going to give you my new number once I had it all worked out.”

“So you did have a plan.” Captain stepped past you to get to his duffel bag, bending to get a change of clothes. You tried not to look.

“Of course I had a plan. I’ve had a shit hits the fan plan since I got into this line of work.” You rolled your eyes.

He huffed softly but didn’t offer anything else, just taking his clothes and going into the bathroom. You swallowed once the door was closed between the two of you.

You’d always known he was attractive, since that very first meeting, but now it was becoming problematic.

Alright, no. It was problematic. There was no “becoming” anymore. You had a soft spot for the man, you enjoyed the teasing, you couldn’t keep your gaze off him.

And you had no idea what to do about it.

Groaning very softly, you scrubbed a hand over your face. There was too much up in the air right now to be even considering doing anything about your attraction to him.

Besides, it might not be a concern for long. There was still a chance that Gray would find you and kill you.

That sobered you quickly, and you sat down on the couch to pull out your laptop. Time to check on a few things.

Most of your accounts had been successfully closed already. Your bank accounts were in the process of transferring funds.

And there was one new email in the single account you’d left running from work. Just one. You didn’t recognize the sender, but that wasn’t unusual in your line of work. People used burner emails all the time.

So you opened the email.

I know you’re still alive. Hide all you want. I will find you one day.

Your world fuzzed around the edges, everything going numb.

“What happened?” Captain strode over to you quickly, searching your expression.

“Nothing.” You closed your laptop, heart pounding.

“Ace–” he started, low and… concerned? His phone interrupted him, though, and he sighed once, short and sharp, before he answered it. You ignored him, focused on putting your laptop back away and trying to calm the pounding of your heart.

Gray had found you. Or at least, he’d found enough about you to find one of your emails. And possibly the identity associated with it.

Which made you more glad than ever that you’d decided to close everything down. That would slow him down, at least.

And nobody knew where you were. Nobody except Kate.

Oh, Kate. Panic spiked again, sudden enough it nearly left you breathless. Sure, Kate was competent, and she was better protected, but she was also easier to find.

And Gray would not stop if he decided he wanted revenge on her too.

“We’re heading out.”

You jumped, the sudden words from Captain jerking you rudely from your own thoughts. His brow furrowed as he looked at you, concern clear in those blue eyes, but he didn’t ask this time.

You were silent as you put your shoes on, briefly lamenting the fact that you didn’t have a spare set of clothes to change into. Well. You’d get something later, this was alright for now.

“Where are we going?” You kept your bag over your shoulder, nodding once to Garrick as he joined the two of you in the hallway.

“Laswell,” Captain answered, taking the lead. Garrick stayed behind you, limiting your potential chances to slip away. Not that you could really blame them, considering you had slipped away before. “Said she has some new intel.”

You nodded slowly, mind whirring back into gear.

If Gray was working with the Russians, or AQ, he could potentially have access to lots of resources. Hell, he was a smart guy with lots of underworld connections, he technically didn’t need either group to get into shit.

But this did give him access to bigger shit.

The safest bet would be to take him off the playing board entirely. Which was harder than it sounded. Someone would need to get to him first. And the law wouldn’t deal with him correctly, you had no faith after last time.

The more permanent solution would be the better one, this time.

“Alright, love?”

You blinked at Captain as he held the back door for you, head dipped to catch your gaze. You nodded automatically, fingers tightening around the strap of your bag.

“Fine,” you muttered, breathing out slowly. “Just. Been a lot.”

As expected, he nodded with sympathy. “We’ve got you,” he murmured. “You’re safe with us.”

You managed a little smile, touching his hand briefly before you got into the car.

Yes, you were safe with them, these men.

And perhaps that was a problem.

You were silent as Garrick drove again, the two of them exchanging the occasional remark, too quiet for you to make out. Which was fine.

You were busy planning. Because you clearly needed more plans and back up plans.

This time, they didn’t take you to a restaurant, but to an office building. You raised one eyebrow at Captain, but he simply nodded to the door.

So you followed Garrick in.

Kate was in a conference room on the top floor, a tablet in hand and a map on the table in front of her. You eyed it curiously, noting the few marks already - one in Mexico, a few in Russia, a few elsewhere.

Hmm. If that’s what you all were facing, it was bigger than you’d thought. She must have been getting information from other sources, too. Which made sense.

“These are the hotspots we know about,” Kate said, nodding to the map. “Between the Russians and AQ.”

Price braced one hand on the table, leaning over the map. “What’s the play here?”

“I’ve got more information coming in the next day or two,” Kate said, her gaze flicking briefly to you. “Once we know more, I’ll reach out to some old friends for help.”

“Hit multiple places?” Garrick guessed, standing next to Kate.

“Hit them all.”

“Bold.” But Captain didn’t sound disapproving. Far from it.

You looked down at the map, frowning a little. That was definitely more than you were aware of, which wasn’t entirely surprising. You’d been focusing more on Russia than anything. This is why Kate had multiple people on intel, not just you.

“Ace.” Kate spoke softly, clearly trying not to spook you, and you shifted your focus to her. “Think you can still get in contact with some of your people?”

You made a face, wiggling one hand. “Depends on who and for what,” you said honestly. “There are some I know I can get hold of. What do you want me to find out?”

“I need to know more about the Mexican involvement.” She tapped the map gently over the red mark. “Who’s involved and how involved they are.”

You didn’t react visibly, because you had long practice at holding a poker face. Internally, though, you groaned. Because that? That was Valeria.

“I’ll see what I can do,” you said instead, shrugging. You’d never given Kate the names of any of your informants, and you had no reason to believe she knew you’d been involved with Valeria.

Of course, this could also give you a chance to find out more about Gray, too. If Valeria was involved. You could trade for any information she had on him.

That would be worth it. And if you did it right? Nobody in this room would be any the wiser.

#waking lions #john price x reader #john price x you

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lokislittlemidgardian · 1 year

Note

Hi friend :) can please write Bucky x little reader where our therapist recommends we try age regression and how we are very hesitant at first but he just makes us feel loved and comfortable?

Let’s try it

Content - age regression, cg!bucky, psychologists, anxiety, apprehensive!reader, light swearing, soft toys, dummy use, bottles, slight angst, fluff cuddles, not proofread, don’t like don’t read.

Summary - when your psychologist gives you a new coping mechanism to try bucky helps makes you feel comfortable with trying it.

Authors note - thank you for the request my love sorry it took so long I hope you enjoy it!, reblogs are greatly appreciated<3

Translation - honey love = med lyubov'

“Age what?” You questioned your psychologist curiosity, you never got over how many things you’d never heard of before in terms of the mind.

“Age regression dear, I think it might benefit you” dr irin said plainly with a reassuring smile plastered across her lips “what does that entail?” “Well age regression therapy is when you revert to a childlike mindset in order to heal your inner child so to speak.”

You sat there for a minute trying to process the information given to you. “So how old would I go back too?” “It’s hard to say dear, it depends on what your mind does” she smiled reaching into her desk to pull out a pamphlet and some recommended websites.

“Now I was also thinking that some people who experience age regression find it easier when they have someone to take care of them, so maybe your partner James-“ “Bucky, yeah no I’m not bothering him with this” you said butterfly’s making their way into your chest.

“Okay hon” dr irin said softly “just know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s perfectly healthy” “okay” you sighed looking down at the pamphlet.

───── ⋆⋅◇⋅⋆ ─────

“Hi baby” Bucky smiled putting down the spatula and turning down the heat on the stove before walking over too you.

“Hi Bub, what’re you making?” You asked curiously walking over to the frying pan “pancakes, figured you might like some after your session” he smiled kissing your temple.

“Aww thank you, you bloody softy come here” you smiled pulling him in and kissing his soft lips “your welcome, so how’d you go?” He asked returning to the stove and flipping a pancake over on the other side.

“Yeah it was okay” you sighed sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs “what did you talk about?” “Not much she just gave me some strategies” you sighed smiling as you watched Bucky place the pancakes on a plate “what do you want on ‘em bub?” He said walking over to the fridge.

“Can I have one with maple syrup and fruit and another with lemon and sugar please?” “Of course you can my love.”

───── ⋆⋅◇⋅⋆ ─────

A few hours went by eventually turning the sky dark.

You were currently sitting on the sofa your favourite show playing on the telly while scrolling through your unanswered messages of the day.

Suddenly you realised your phone was about to run out of charge “buck can you get me my portable charger please?” You called out to Bucky who was sitting in the kitchen reading a newspaper.

“Sure where is it?” “In my bag I think” “okay”

In retrospect you probably should of remembered that you took your bag to your appointment. A few minutes later bucky came out with your portable charger in one hand and the pamphlet in his vibranium one.

“Here you go doll, hey what’s this?” He asked as he scanned the contents “what’s what?” You asked plugging in your phone and looking up at him “oh shit.”

“It’s nothing” you said quickly attempting to snatch it off him only to have him hold it up higher still accessing the words “it’s just something dr irin gave me give it here” “sounds interesting” he said gently giving it to you.

“Don’t judge it please I don’t even wanna do it it’s stupid” you whispered “hey hey no it’s not stupid if your doctor said it might help you should give it a go” he said kindly sitting next to you gently making you look at him.

“But I don’t know how and what if it doesn’t work it’s gonna be weird I just don’t-“ “hey dolly look at me yeah deep breaths in for 5 hold for 4 out for 5, that’s the way” he said softly guiding you through your breathing.

Once you calmed down you talked Bucky through what your psychologist had told you and he was completely on board.

During the next few days things went back to normal, that was until bucky received a large package “Bucky” you said suspiciously watching him sign for it seeing his cheeky smile.

“What have you done now” you said accusingly “ahh it’s actually for you sweetheart” he said kindly placing the box on the kitchen bench and ripping it open.

Inside there was a selection of soft toys, colouring in books, some bottles and a teal dummy. “Oh buck” you said breathlessly moving to embrace him.

“I told you angel I’m on board with this 100 percent”

───── ⋆⋅◇⋅⋆ ─────

A few days later you finally slipped after lots of research and trying out different approaches. You were currently sat on the sofa with your dummy in your mouth and alpine laying down beside you her soft breathing and snores alerting you to the fact she had fallen asleep.

“Daddy” you whispered to Bucky watching his face light up when you called him that “yes little one?” “Look at pine pine” you giggled pointing at her “aww she’s asleep, what do you think cats dream about baby bunny?”

“I dunno, mice?” “Mice” he chuckled heartily “yes” you said definitively “dada” “hmm?” “Can I have a cuddle?” “Of course you can my little angel” he said softly.

Repositioning yourself to lie between his legs your back of resting against his chest you felt his vibranium arm gently come to play with your hair “do you feel better med lyubov'?”

“Mhm” you hummed feeling yourself grow sleepy in the embrace of your caregiver.

───── ⋆⋅◇⋅⋆ ─────

Taglist - @bootlegmothman420 @littlephia @whippedforhongjoong @youngstarfishdinosaur @patchesofwork @buggyateabug @autisticbeauty @friendlyneighborhoodkillerbunny @sparklybuck @2-gay-possums-in-a-trench-coat @hopelesswritergall @stuckysgirl27 @sleepyprinc3ss @chaotic-little-witch @looksthatkilledd

#daddy!bucky #daddy!bucky barnes #little!reader #cg!bucky #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #sfw age regression #caregiver #age regression reader #sfw littlespace #little reader #agere sfw #ria answers

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junggunz · 10 months

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WANT U ft. samuel seo | 🔞

summary: you finally call it quits for real after realizing your relationship with samuel was too turbulent to handle in the long run. but even after breaking up, it seems like you don't want to completely remove him from your life.

wc: 3.2k

an: killing two birds with one stone. part two of my silly little song fic series. i forgot when it was requested tbh but i had an anon who wanted a scenario that included reader being pressed against a wall aka 壁ドン lol i hope you don't mind i picked samuel over gun- anywho here's the playlist that goes with this series.

"Been waiting for so long to finally be strong but here you are."

It had been several months since the two of you split yet Samuel was sending you texts every so often to see what you were up to; almost as if he was checking to see if the heart he broke was still shattered on the floor where he left it.

The peak low point of your breakup was when he would drunk text and call you every weekend, insisting that he regrets his actions. Unsure if he meant it or if he was just talking out of his ass, you still gave him the time of day because you were just as fucked in the head as Samuel; you honestly liked the idea of him missing you and begging you for clemency even though you knew you wouldn’t take him back.

All of the vehement screaming matches. Fits of jealousy from both of you. Playing the blame game. Giving each other the cold shoulder rather than apologizing. And the worst part of it all was that the two of you could never see eye to eye long enough to be able to work through these trivial things. Every single petty argument just had to turn into an exchange of obscenities and questioning the other’s intelligence. Though the relationship was highly volatile, there was a mutual understanding that you both cared about one another and held some deep rooted insecurities; but that excuse wouldn’t cut it if you two were to be together for the long run.

As much as you wanted things to work out, you couldn’t beg Samuel to change. You were too busy trying to sort out your own emotional baggage; the last thing you wanted to do was try to get someone else to realize the error in their ways if they wouldn’t even listen to you or always remained taciturn during conversations and made you feel like you were talking to yourself.

Desultory attempts at dating around later on and trying to take your mind off of Samuel prove to be futile as you find yourself feeling more hollow than usual. Perhaps you weren’t as healed as you thought; craving the emotional intensity Samuel pursued you with from the start couldn’t have possibly been healthy.

Even with all the stupid fights you got into, he never failed to make you feel wanted. And on top of that, the make up sex was good enough to make you forget why you argued in the first place.

“Isn’t that your ex?” Your friend whispers to you while your little clique was out at a tiny little pub, enjoying some soju and various drinking foods.

“The joke was funny the first couple times, but it’s getting old now.” You say dismissively with a small laugh— but you find your bleary eyes darting around anyway— to verify whether or not she was taking advantage of the fact you were drunk and trying to mess with your head.

But lo and behold, you spot him at a table by himself. It was inevitable that you would run into him at least once given how small the city seemed sometimes. What’s more surprising is how he doesn’t have any company to share the gold colored tin kettle presumably filled with makgeolli and the few bottles of soju in front of him.

You recognize the sullen expression he wears on his face as the look of contemplation. Conflicting emotions start to argue for a spot in your mind. One part of you was pleased to see him looking so miserable; the other feeling the urge to comfort him since enough time had passed for you to forget you said you hated him.

Though you know very well that if you approached him now, there was a fifty-fifty chance of you getting into an argument with him; you can’t help yourself when you abandon the table you sat at with your friends to fill the empty seat across from Samuel. You had consumed enough alcohol to be able to dismiss this as a drunken mistake; but you know exactly what you’re doing.

“Sammy, you shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself.” You call to him, your tone coming out more affectionate than you intended. But, oh well—you could blame it on the alcohol if he called you out for it.

Lifting his eyes to look at you sitting before him, his face doesn’t light up the same way it used to whenever you would speak to him. Right after your breakup, he always appeared just fine when he showed up to your doorstep drunk out of his mind. It seemed that now, the realization that things were actually over had kicked in and drained all life from his face.

“It’s not your place to be concerned about what I’m up to.” He tells you somberly, averting his gaze to the half empty bowl of makgeolli in front of him and reaching for the kettle to refill it.

“You used to be really adamant about trying to talk to me. I’m giving you the chance now and you’re gonna be cold to me?” You ask, feigning offense and pouting slightly.

“It’s loud as hell in here. If you wanna talk, we can talk somewhere else.” Samuel replies, swiftly standing up from the metal chair then making his way over to your side of the table to grab you by the arm; lifting you up from your seat and dragging you off to who knows where. Stumbling haphazardly behind him, you find yourself outside in the dimly lit alley between the pub and the business next to it.

“Why are you talking to me now? Could you sense that things were going to shit for me or something?” The sharpness in Samuel’s voice alone was enough to make you flinch.

When paired with him glaring at you as he backs you up against the wall, caging you in his arms, it has your body instinctively shrinking from how intimidating his demeanor is. But you’re not actually scared of him. Not in the least bit. His tall height and all that ink covered muscle means nothing to you when you know how frail his ego is. If you really wanted to, you could devastate him with just a couple words.

“Oh, so you can bug me for months on end when I’m trying to get over you but I can’t return the favor?” You scoff with a slight roll of your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. “I just happened to see you tonight and wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Weren’t you the one who said you hated me and wished I got launched off into space?” He retorts with a dry laugh. “You’re so—”

“I know what I said and I meant it in that moment. Now, things are a little different because I’ve calmed down.” You cut him off, knowing very well that it was one of his pet peeves.

Jaw clenching in frustration from how easily you get under his skin, Samuel bangs his fist against the wall behind you to relieve some of the agitation boiling up within him. You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears from how agitated he was getting. If you had been someone else, you would have gotten a full ashtray to the face or a swift kick in the gut. However, as the soft spot he had for you hadn’t completely faded away, he can’t bring himself to tell you off for the minor infraction. Even with him knowing that you interrupted him on purpose.

“What are you trying to accomplish right now? Pissing me off? Making up with me? What do you want?” Samuel fires off, voice rough and impatient as he stares at you; his eyes trailing from your face down the familiar silhouette of your body.

“If you look at me like that, you’re gonna make me think about other things.” You tell him, a stupefied giggle falling past your lips while you gaze up suggestively at him.

Samuel’s eyes shoot right back up to look at your face, the ditzy smile on your face telling him all that he needs to know about where your head is. Hands slipping from the walls, they land on your shoulders to press you firmly against the structure behind you.

“Yeah? Have you been thinking about how no one is gonna be able to fuck you like I can?” He asks, voice dropping to a whisper as he leans in to whisper in your ear. “Because I think that’s the only reason why you would speak to me again.”

The truth is harsh and it sounds even more brutal when Samuel says it out loud. Knowing you too well, there’s no reason for you to lie to him unless you want to get into a verbal altercation with him and sour your currently elated mood.

“Please? Just for old time’s sake.” You plead him cutely, batting your lashes at him while your fingers skitter along the hem of his pants. “I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.” You confess, knowing that the admission would at least tempt him into giving in.

Mulling over your words for a bit, Samuel’s eyes bore into yours. He’s uncertain. He doesn’t know if he would be able to feel satisfied with just one more night with you. He’s always been easily enticed by you; with the addition of alcohol gently fogging his judgment, that feeling is magnified at least a hundred times. Self restraint is usually something Samuel doesn’t struggle with. But the memory of how wet and warm your body felt around him has his control wavering.

All it takes to get to him is you making the first move, closing the distance between your faces until he meets you halfway; pressing his lips against yours. Hands crawling up the sides of your neck, Samuel cups your face roughly; the pads of his fingers digging into your cheek. Behind each kiss there’s a shared sense of hunger and perhaps even longing. Soft lips slotted between yours, every suckle and nip makes your body buzz in desire. Remnants of alcohol linger on Samuel’s tongue as the tip slips past your open mouth while you’re moaning wantonly. So drunk on the taste of him, all your inhibitions leave you; not even bothering to double check if your current location was secluded enough for you to be carelessly reaching under your skirt to slip off your panties. It's a muscle memory thing for you when you sneakily tuck the flimsy fabric into Samuel’s pocket.

His hands trail down your figure slowly as if trying to get familiar with every dip and curve—but Samuel knew himself well enough to know that you made yourself a permanent home in his memories. As his palm smoothes over the slope of your ass, the absence of a pantyline beneath the thin material of your skirt causes him to pull away from you. Looking at you curiously, he’s met by a cheeky grin as your smaller hand guides him under your clothes to feel the pent up sexual frustration that’s spilling out of you now. With how obscenely wet you are, Samuel feels barely any resistance when he dips two of his fingers into your heat. Feeling just how riled up you’ve gotten just from kissing devours the last morsel of patience Samuel has before he’s hastily undoing his pants and lowering them just enough to pull his cock out, eliminating the remaining space between your bodies and swiping the tip along your folds.

“You missed this, didn’t you?” He taunts, tapping the head of his cock against your swollen clit. “You wanted me so bad that you’re letting me fuck you in this dingey alley.” He laughs mockingly, eliciting a small mewl from you as you buck your hips up against his.

“Don’t tease…” You murmur softly, sneaking a glance at him out of fear you would fall for him all over again. Bracing yourself for what was to come, you loop your arms around his neck, gazing between your bodies as you’re entranced by the sight of your arousal thoroughly coating him.

Muttering something under his breath that goes unheard by you due to the sound of your heart thudding against your chest, Samuel’s hands latch on to your thighs; wrapping them around his hips before he pushes forward into you. Chest tightening, he grits his teeth as the tip of his cock dips past your tight entrance; the unforgettable warmth consuming him and filling him with the sense of being home. The sudden intrusion has you gasping in surprise, but the pain laced pleasure is so intoxicating, you find yourself trying to take more of his length inside of your needy little hole. Even as tears well up in your eyes, clinging to your eyelashes, it doesn’t stop the shaky plead to be fucked from tumbling past your lips.

No build up. No more condescending comments. Samuel wastes no time thrusting into you animalistically, his full balls slapping against your ass. At this point, the only thing he has in mind is releasing months of frustration on to you as he continues to fuck you with the intention of making you regret breaking up with him. Head falling back with a slew of vulgarities, your wet walls clamp around his size; your cunt refusing to relinquish its vice grip on him. It only fuels him to go harder, grunting as he ruts into you so harshly that you have to cling on to him and lock your ankles around his lower back out of fear of losing connection.

Some semblance of coherence slips back into your system when you feel the bumpy texture of the wall starting to make your back ache and you try to keep your noises to a minimum. But nevermind the discomfort of the rough surface of the wall beneath you rubbing up against you. It hurts more to know that Samuel wouldn’t be going home with you after this. All you can do for now is bask in the moment; feeling every inch of him filling you up and hitting every good spot just the way you like it.

“What am I gonna do with you? Why don’t you get that you’re made for me?” Samuel growls into your ear, hips continuing to buck into you aggressively with sharp, precise thrusts into your gummy walls that make your cunt gush more arousal. “So…fucking perfect for me.” He rasps out in a shaky voice, the blunt tips of his nails dig into the meat of your thigh as he continues to slam into you.

It’s not right, but the possessive talk has you squeezing around him. Your guts twisting in excitement as his thick length works your sopping pussy, thrusting into you at spine-breaking pace. Whimpering from how hard he was squeezing your thigh, you could feel his fingertips leaving their marks on your skin.

“P—please, don’t stop.” You croak, letting your head fall forward onto Samuel’s shoulder; making the mistake of burying your face into his shirt and getting yourself drunk on the smell of him. Once you realize what you’ve done, you pull away again with a small sniffle. It wasn’t abnormal for tears of pleasure to stream down your face whenever you had sex with Samuel, but in this context, there was a high chance that the tears were provoked by some other emotion.

“Oh, baby. You should know I don’t plan on stopping until I make this tight little pussy cum all over me.” He tells you, his breath tickling the side of your face before he presses a gentle kiss on your temple that contrasts starkly against the manner his hips move.

It’s so unbearably hot between your bodies, even under the cool night air. It only contributes to how lightheaded you feel as you feel your climaxing building. Samuel’s eyes happen to glance down below to your point of connection and he sees the white ring of cream you’ve oh so adoringly left around the base of his cock. A wave of satisfaction washes over him upon seeing the mess you’ve made. And he’s even more pleased when he feels your walls pulsing around him, signifying you’re about extremely close to orgasming.

“Look at me.” He commands you sternly, movements unfaltering. When you don’t heed to his demand, he delivers extra rough snaps of his hips into you. “Look. At. Me.” He repeats, each syllable punctuated by the ruthless thrusts.

Reluctantly meeting his eyes, his expression is softer than the last time you looked at him. Behind all the carnal lust, it’s impossible to miss the affection lingering in his irises and so many different emotions overcome you at once. It feels like there’s a disconnect between your mind and body—your head is scrambling to find out what’s going on while your body is tensing up, euphoria slowly taking over as bright colors decorate the edges of your vision.

“Ohhh—fuck!” You yelp, feeling an orgasm strong enough to render you brainless ripping through your body. Trembling in his arms and gazing at him like he was your God, the telltale signs of your climax had always made the veins in his cock throb like crazy.

“See? If you weren’t made for me, how come just looking at me is enough to make you cum?” Samuel murmurs against your mouth, kissing you softly and relishing in the salacious moans you emit between licks across the seam of your lips.

Now able to chase after his high, he searches for it in the deepest part of your pulsating walls. Despite your sensitive pussy trying to hold him in place, he thrusts into you almost violently; his thick size spreading you open and imprinting its shape into the slick walls. As Samuel fucks you through your orgasm, rearranging your insides as he pleases, your mind is long gone and ventured off into space. You may have been brought to orgasm from looking at him, but the sight of you in your post orgasm haze was what brings Samuel to his finish. A guttural groan rumbles in his throat as his thrusts become sloppy and vicious before hot white ropes of his seed paint your insides. Holding himself deep within you, he fills the deepest part of you and your body milks out every last drop eagerly.

Taking a few silent moments to even out your breathing, the two of you eventually part; your legs unwinding themselves from Samuel’s body before you hastily pull down your skirt and he fixes his pants. The tension between the both of you is so thick, you think you should at least say ‘goodbye’ or something to cut through it but the words get caught in your throat. Seeing that Samuel had already moved to lean on the very wall you were just fucking against and was lighting up a cigarette let you know that he had nothing to say either.

With how many times you told him you never wanted to speak to him, this should have satiated you; but when you make your way back to the bar to rejoin your friends, the itch to unblock Samuel’s number on your phone starts to nag at you.

#lookism x reader #lookism smut #samuel seo x reader #samuel seo smut #samuel seo scenarios #junggunz.txt

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doiefy · 4 months

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nct 127 as cursed college profs

very partially based on stupid shit i've had the pleasure and misfortune of seeing in my own classes. happy finals season girlies </3 i rise from my casket of inactivity to bring you the shit post i wrote on the subway on the way to an exam. whose class do you think you'd survive?

cw: cynical college humour because i'm coping, adult humour

taeil: not even that old, but barely knows how to use technology. spends the first 15 minutes of lectures trying to figure out zoom, then the rest of the time poorly explaining quantum mechanics from a textbook written 20 years ago. trips down the stairs two days into the semester and goes on medical leave, only to be spotted on vacation a week later. no one even gives him shit for it.

johnny: originally the cool, chill prof who occasionally went out for drinks with his classes, until he realized he was cool and tried to get even more hip with the kids. now he uses bad memes in his slides and films tiktoks in his lab. the number of students who ask to get drinks with him significantly boosts his ego, but no one tells him they’re doing it just to cross “drinking with a prof” off the frosh bingo card.

taeyong: the sweetest, loveliest, kindest soul you will ever meet—except he’s only taught twice in his life, just got put in as a replacement for a prof who tripped down the stairs, and gives you the most god-awful final exam known to man. he’s also stressed out (on your behalf) at any given moment, to the point where he just passes everyone with an 80 and calls it a day.

yuta: the hip, fashionable prof who only serves looks and random commentaries on society in the middle of his lectures. undergrads fight to the death to join his research group, but the ones who make it eventually realize he spends most of his time partying with the department’s money. yet still, groundbreaking work comes out of his lab every year…

doyoung: retired from research a few years ago to teach full time, but not a single person knows why. he may offer the clearest, live-saving explanations in his lectures—but he constantly looks like he wants to go home and will decimate your entire existence with a single look if you ask anything about the syllabus two weeks into the semester.

jaehyun: the hot single prof. every single freshman girlie has a sickening, concerning, fanfic-esque crush on him. some go as far as nearly failing his class and then booking office hours with him before finals, only to find out that he’s been using Doyoung’s teaching material for years, without credit. he is very much horrendous at teaching on his own. and very much gay.

jungwoo: wanted to go into early childhood education, somehow got coerced into doing his masters, then his phd, then post doc, then— still fulfills his dreams by treating his students like kindergarteners. this includes gentle parenting of frat boys who won’t shut the fuck up during class, handing out healthy vegan treats, and encouraging “mindful moments” while you write the hardest exam he has ever administered.

mark: refuses to teach because he doesn’t think any of the kids will take him seriously, is forced to anyways by the department. as a prodigy so fucking removed from what it’s like to be stupid, he ends all his quantum lectures with “this is pretty straightforward,” and books it back to his lab on an electric skateboard. yes he built it himself. no he won't let you try and ride it.

haechan: shares an office with mark and spends most of his free time figuring out which organic compounds he can mix together to perfectly recreate the texture and smell of cum. if he doesn’t show up to class, it’s because he’s terrorizing pigeons on the street for science. shows gruesome videos of explosions and chemical fires for a chemical safety lecture. has had the fire alarm pulled on him at least twice.

#nct #nct 127 #nct texts #nct imagines #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #nct timestamps #nct blurbs #nct dream #taeil #johnny #taeyong #yuta #doyoung #jaehyun #jungwoo #mark #haechan #shitpost

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docwritesshit · 4 months

Note

Hi!! I’m totally new to the LMK fandom 😭 I found a really cool edit on TikTok of Mac and Sun and I instantly fell in love lol

So if you can! And want! Could you do shadowpeach x GN! human reader who is kinda scared of monkeys and apes due to the animals being menaces (literally 😭 terrifying animals)

(Really putting myself out there)

but the reader also loves some monkeys like the pigmy Marmosets (✨autism✨)

IF THIS IS POSSIBLE THANK YOU! If not then you can pick and chose which ones!

Take care of yourself!! ✨💖

Looks up the marmosets

Ok, those are adorable.

Disclaimer: it is winter break for me so I have a little more free time on my hands and I've been itching to write something now

Does this mean requests are fully open? Kinda.

I'll do one request a week, maybe more depending on my energy and what the requests is

(you all try designing a show and balancing school and your healthy coping mechanisms. This blog is on the bottom of my priorities)

Sorry for all that rambling for ya, new person! You just got me out of my rut so I had to lay some ground rules before people start bombarding me with requests

Anyways!

Shadowpeach and a GN!Reader scared of apes

Now, these two are little shits, so the way they first introduce themselves to you is... Abrupt

Macaque over here will probably corner you in a deserted section of a market and start flirting immediately since you caught both of their eyes and he has the go ahead

Poor dude is so confused on why you are so fucking scared

So they both back off for a while... Then they see the problem.

They see the problem when they are stalking keeping an eye on you and see you go into a zoo and your friends take you through the primate section and you cower, except when you see the pygmy marmosets

Armed with this new knowledge, they are now trying to introduce you slowly, they start talking to you in more public places with their human disguises.

They do let you know these aren't how they look like, but it's pretty close and you think they would probably look hot regardless

Painfully slow when you are now hounding them to see their actual forms. They have warned you that you would not like it all that much, but you are a stubborn person

So they do

And you freak out, unsurprisingly. So they both transform into the marmosets you adore and that has helped calm you down

So they start taking things slow again.

Coaxing you little by little by showing their tail once in a while for you to play with if you are stressed.

Showing their claws bit by bit (maybe more when you paint them-)

After, I would say a few months, they finally show the full, true forms around you all the time.

It's truly sweet how these two are fucking oblivious yet so patient and loving at the same time.

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk x reader #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #lmk macaque x reader #lmk sun wukong x reader #lmk sunwukong x macaque x reader #lmk shadowpeach #lmk shadowpeach x reader #shadowpeach

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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 3 months

Text

Never Have I Ever (Part 2) - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Civilian Contractor! Reader (Callsign: Dove)

Length: 3.1k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Warnings: Female Reader with a Callsign, but no Physical Description or Name; Not Necessarily Healthy Decisions/Coping Mechanisms; Shy! Reader; Slow Burn; Coworkers to Friends to Lovers; Oblivious Idiots; Excessive Pining; Suggestive Humor

Summary: Hangman and Dove move into some more awkward topics as they continue Dove's challenge.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Master List

# 13 - Ridden a Motorcycle

Stepping out of her apartment building, Dove paused when she saw Maverick waiting for her instead of Hangman in his truck.

“Hey, Mav,” she greeted him, raising an eyebrow when he offered her a helmet.

“Hangman looped me in about your challenge to yourself,” Maverick explained as Dove took the helmet. “And I thought I would offer some help.”

“Thanks, Mav.”

Dove put the helmet on and nervously climbed onto the back of the Kawasaki. Looking around, Dove turned back to Maverick.

“Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see.”

“That doesn’t really make me feel safe!” Dove yelped as Maverick drove down the road.

~~~~~

“Why did you have Maverick drive me to Target?” Dove asked Hangman as they walked inside together. “I’m here at least once a week.”

“We’re stocking up and looking for some inspiration,” Hangman explained, leading the way.

“Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this trip?” Dove sighed, following behind him.

They worked clockwise through the store. They spent some time in the food section, picking out a few items for inspiration before moving onto the beauty section. Dove was looking at the hair dye options when Jake dropped a box into the cart. Looking down, Dove raised an eyebrow.

“Are you trying to tell me something, Hangman?”

“You can wax whatever body part you want. You haven’t ever waxed . . . something before, right?”

“No, I haven’t. And I’ll just leave it there,” Dove replied, turning back to the hair dye options. Picking up two bottles, she showed them to Jake. “Should I do blue or red?”

“You’re going to dye your hair?” he asked, sounding a bit concerned.

“Just temporary. This stuff is spray-on and it washes off with a shower.”

“Then red. The blue is too . . .” Jake trailed off, meeting Dove’s gaze. “I don’t want to be rude.”

“I’ll just get red then,” Dove agreed, placing one bottle in the cart and the other back.

~~~~~

# 14 - Bought a Pregnancy Test

Jake and Dove slowly walked down the ‘family planning’ aisle. Dove forced herself to stare straight ahead as she and Jake stood side by side in front of the shelves. She leaned forward, grabbing a random pregnancy test before tossing it into the cart.

Jake didn’t comment on her choice.

~~~~~

# 15 - Bought Condoms

“What size should I buy?” Dove asked Jake.

“What are you talking about?”

“The condoms.”

Jake turned to Dove, who refused to meet his gaze. Clearing his throat, he rubbed his cheek, trying to find a way out of the awkward question.

“Just buy whatever size you’ve bought before.”

“I’ve never bought them before, that’s why I suggested it,” Dove pointed out, causing Jake to clear his throat again.

“Well, just buy a size that one of your exes wore. Just to get it over with.”

“I don’t remember what sizes they wore,” Dove lied, but not in the way that Jake assumed.

“Really?”

“Why?” Dove replied defensively.

“You have an almost perfect memory,” Jake stated calmly, causing Dove to grow sheepish. “How much was your bill at the Hard Deck yesterday?”

“It’s unimportant.”

But $16.53 kept flashing in her mind.

“Just pick one.”

“I’m not going to just pick one. It’ll just go to waste.”

“Alright, let’s not overcomplicate things,” Jake sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Glancing over at Dove, and causing her to turn away from him quickly, Jake leaned down, grabbed a box, and tossed it into the cart. “There. Done. Let’s move on.”

“Gladly.”

They got to the self-checkout area and they were about to start scanning when Dove let out a groan.

“I forgot to get milk.”

“I’ll go grab it,” Jake offered, stepping back.

“Thanks.”

“Well, you’re buying me condoms,” Jake mused, causing Dove’s cheeks to warm. “I think I can return the favor.”

Dove nodded and swallowed thickly before going back to her scanning. She moved through the items before she picked up the box of condoms. She had told herself and Jake that she wouldn’t look, but her impulse control wasn’t what it once was these days.

“That was a bad idea,” she cursed herself, scanning the box and tossing it into her shopping bag. “A dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb idea, Dove.”

Jake eventually caught up with her and they walked out of the store together. Putting the bag into the back of Jake’s truck, Dove walked around and sat in the passenger seat. Jake placed the milk carton down beside the bag and quickly grabbed the box of condoms and shoved them into his pocket.

“You just had to open your mouth in front of the condoms,” he scolded himself, closing the trunk.

~~~~~

# 16 - Bought a Lottery Ticket

“Why are we stopping at a gas station?” Dove asked Jake as he held the door open for her.

“Well, I assumed that you’ve never bought a lottery ticket before.”

“No, I haven’t,” she admitted quietly.

Dove walked over to the clerk and bought a random lottery ticket. After grabbing it, Dove and Jake headed back out to the truck.

“You think you’ll win anything?” Jake asked as he started the truck.

“No. I'm not usually lucky,” she replied bluntly, tucking the ticket into her purse.

“You never know,” Jake returned, causing Dove to look over at him. “You could get lucky soon.”

“Maybe,” Dove agreed quietly.

~~~~~

# 17 - Tried Baby Food

“If anything, this should be the safest food you'll eat all day,” Jake stated, opening the jar of baby food. “And it’s apple flavored, so it should taste just like applesauce.”

Dove pulled out a spoon and scooped out some baby food. Bringing it to her mouth, she tasted it tentatively for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and nodding.

“Yeah, just like applesauce. It’s weirdly smooth though.”

~~~~~

#18 - Waxed

“If this burns my skin, it’s on your head, Seresin,” Dove warned Jake, applying the wax to her thigh.

They were standing in her bathroom together and Dove had changed into a pair of gym shorts while Jake heated up the wax for her. Holding out her hand, Dove thanked Jake when he handed her the paper strip before placing the paper down on top of the wax. Turning back to him, she gripped the flap, took a breath, and yanked the strip.

“Fuck!”

“What? What?”

Dove hopped on one foot and eventually balanced herself on Jake as she looked down to see if her leg was actually on fire or not. Jake held her right hand as Dove poked at the now irritated skin.

“You still have two legs,” Jake remind Dove, causing her to scoff.

“Why don’t you try some then if it’s not so bad?”

~~~~~

# 19 - Waxed Someone Else

“Just put it on my leg,” Jake sighed, pulling up his shorts a little more. “Tit for tat.”

Dove placed a heavy glob on his thigh and spread it around. Picking up another strip of paper, Dove pressed it down onto the wax before looking up at Jake. She grabbed the flap and offered him a smile.

“You need a countdown, Lieutenant?”

With how they were situated, Dove was sitting in between Jake’s legs as his leg was resting on the edge of the tub. And the way that she was smiling at him and the way that she let his rank slide off her tongue . . . he forced himself to look up at the ceiling.

“Just pull it.”

~~~~~

# 20 - Left a Negative Review Online

“You know, I didn’t actually rip your leg off.”

“Still, we have to warn people. Don’t need anyone else getting skinned alive,” Jake replied, accepting a bag of ice from Dove. “Grab your phone.”

“To take a picture of you being dramatic?”

“No, to write a bad review. That shit’s horrible!”

“It was only seven dollars. What did you expect?”

“Just write a bad review,” Jake sighed, sitting up as he rested the bag of ice against his red skin. Looking up at Dove, who made no move to grab her phone, he tilted his chin up. “You’ve never written a bad review before have you?”

“Of course, I have!” Dove protested, folding her arms over her chest. When Jake stared her down, Dove winced and turned away.

“Grab. Your. Phone.”

Dove sat down beside Jake and pulled up the product that they bought. Glancing over at Jake, she turned back to her phone and typed out a review.

Wax was a bit difficult coming off.

“Even when you’re writing a bad review, you’re being nice,” Jake sighed, causing Dove to sour.

Wax felt like you were ripping your skin off. Leaves an angry red rash behind. And it reduced a big tough naval aviator to tears.

“I didn’t cry!”

“I could see tears,” Dove replied, laughing as Jake tried to snatch her phone.

Leaning away from him as he pressed up against her, she held her phone away from him. Managing to hit the post button before he could grab it, Dove turned to Jake, who was a lot closer to her than she was expecting. And Jake, in turn, seemed to realize how far he had leaned over, pretty much pressing Dove against the arm of her couch.

“Well,” Jake stated awkwardly. He scooched over to the opposite end of the small couch and cleared his throat. “I have a couple more ideas.”

“Alright,” Dove agreed quietly, slowly sinking back into his seat.

~~~~~

# 21 - Watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians

“I can feel myself getting dumber,” Dove commented, frowning at the ridiculous scene.

“You want to switch to something else?”

“Wait, I want to see how Kim flips out first.”

“So, you like it?”

“You’re the one who had it under their recommendations,” Dove pointed out, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

~~~~~

# 22 - Watched a Horror Movie

“This is more like psychological horror than jump scare horror,” Jake replied as Dove hugged a throw pillow, staring at the screen.

“That can be worse,” Dove stated quietly.

“Phoenix liked it.”

Dove groaned and held the pillow to her face. Jake reached for a handful of popcorn and leaned back in his seat. The movie progressed and Jake could feel Dove getting more and more on edge with the direction that the movie was taking. And when it got to the truly creepy scenes, she winced and hid her face in the pillow.

“Well, you’re watching half of a horror movie,” Jake commented, earning an indignant look. Rolling her eyes, Dove turned back to the screen out of spite

“You’re such a—”

The jump scare, of course, flashed onto the screen and Dove jumped a bit. She didn’t scream or anything excessive more than a gasp, but because she had been kneeling, she fell over and landed on his thighs. Jake winced and Dove quickly apologized.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jake assured her, wincing a bit as she slid off of him.

“Do you need more ice?” Dove asked, causing Jake to momentarily panic.

“For what?”

“Your wax burn?” Dove suggested, like it was obvious.

“Oh . . . no, I’m fine.”

~~~~~

# 23 - Pressed Every Button in an Elevator

The elevator bell dinged overhead and Dove grit her teeth together just a little bit more. The doors held open for a moment before closing again.

“If we ever make it to the bottom of the building, Hangman, you have a five second head start before I kill you,” Dove warned him.

“You’re not a very patient person.”

“For murder, I am,” she replied, shooting him a look.

Jake offered her a smile that had earned him a lot of sharp remarks over the years, but with the way that Dove was glaring at him, the edges of his smile softened. She tried to look menacing, but she only managed to appear about as threatening as a kitten.

“Where are we going anyways?” Dove sighed, turning back to the door.

~~~~~

# 24 - Snuck In to See a Movie

“Jake,” Dove hissed to him as he led her in through the side entrance to the theater. “What are you doing? We’re too old for this shit.”

“No one’s even going to be in here. Come on,” Jake insisted, grabbing her hand and tugging her into the theater closest to the door. “I mean, how many people are going to watch this movie? It’s been out for weeks.”

“I don’t know.”

“In the middle of the day?”

“If we get kicked out and banned, it’s your fault,” Dove hissed as they took their seats.

The movie started and after a while, Dove actually relaxed and started to watch it. They walked out together along with three other people and headed out to Jake’s truck.

“That wasn’t too bad for a free movie.”

“No,” Dove agreed, hopping into his truck. “I mean, Jon Hamm makes every movie better.”

“You like Jon Hamm?” Jake asked, climbing into the driver’s seat. “Really?”

“What?”

“Isn’t he a little old for you?”

“And a little too famous for me,” Dove scoffed, putting her seatbelt on.

“Doesn’t he look too much like Cyclone for you?” Jake continued, starting up the truck. Turning quickly to Dove as realization struck him, he asked, “Is that why you’re so nice to Cyclone? Because he looks like Jon Hamm?”

“He’s our boss, of course, I’m nice to him,” Dove snapped, leaning back in her seat. “And besides, Cyclone doesn’t smile.”

“You like a guy who smiles?”

“I like a guy who actually drives instead of holding me hostage in a parking lot.”

“Picky, picky,” Hangman joked before driving off.

~~~~~

# 25 - Taken a Coin from a Fountain

“Are you kidding me?” Dove hissed to Jake, who shrugged in response.

“Just do it.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“It’s wrong, Jake.”

“What? It’s just a coin. Look, that dime’s barely even in the water. You can scoop it up easily,” Jake insisted, pointing at a coin.

“Someone made a wish and put it in there. We can’t just take it.”

“They won’t know.”

“But I’ll know,” Dove replied, causing Jake to groan.

“Why does it matter so much to you?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Well,” Dove sighed, looking away from Jake. “My parents divorced when I was a kid and they always met at the local mall when I would switch parents. And my dad always gave me a coin to make a wish while we waited for my mom and . . .”

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Jake stated as Dove turned her back to him. “We don’t have to do it.”

“Even if I was just lying?”

“Even if . . . you were lying about that?” Jake demanded, causing Dove to smile proudly.

“Yeah. Well, my parents are divorced, but the rest of it was bullshit.” Nudging him on the arm, she laughed. “But I thought you of all people wouldn’t fall for the whole ‘divorced parents’ sob story.” Smiling to herself, she folded her arms over her chest. “Maybe I’m a better liar than I thought.”

“So, you’re going to take a coin then?”

“No, it’s still wrong, Jake.”

“Here, I’ll throw one in and you can pick that one. I don’t mind if you crush my dreams,” Jake offered jokingly, pulling out his wallet. He grabbed a penny and tossed it onto the edge of the pool. “There.”

Dove huffed and looked around before bending over and grabbing the penny quickly from the water. Turning back to Jake, she handed the penny back.

“What did you wish for?”

“That I don’t fall for your little stories again,” Jake muttered, causing Dove to grin.

“We pulled the coin out, so your wish isn’t going to happen.”

Jake sighed and shook his head, earning a smile and giggle from Dove in return.

~~~~~

# 26 - Committed a Federal Crime

“Jake, this isn’t a crime.”

“You’re taking my mail. It’s a federal crime, Dove.”

“You handed me your mail key.”

“Sneaking into the movie theater, taking a coin from a public fountain, and now you’re stealing mail? Where will it end?” Jake listed dramatically, causing Dove to shush him.

“Here’s your mail. All two envelopes,” she replied, handing over the key and mail.

“You have to open it.”

Dove huffed and rolled her eyes, opening one of the envelopes begrudgingly. Pulling out the paper inside, she turned to Jake.

“Did you want to upgrade your WiFi?” she asked sarcastically.

~~~~~

# 27 - Licked a Bar of Soap

“When I said that I could eat, I wasn’t referring to soap,” Dove replied, opening the box.

“The rest of the squad is coming over soon. I told them to bring food.”

Dove stuck out her tongue and licked the bar of soap before wrinkling her nose and walking off to the bathroom to wash out her mouth.

“You pick the dumbest ones,” she huffed.

~~~~~

# 28 - Had an Anchovy

“They’re not that bad,” Bob stated, ignoring the disgusted looks from the rest of the people in the room. “What? They’re not.”

“Let me just get this over with. If the taste doesn’t kill me, the smell will,” Dove sighed, grabbing an anchovy from the tin and shoving it into her mouth.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust but swallowed it like a champion and quickly reached for her drink. Sliding the tin over to Bob as she took a few gulps, Dove finished her drink and hiccuped.

“You can keep the rest, Bob.”

~~~~~

# 29 - Been Given Flowers

“Sorry, I’m late,” Rooster stated, sliding into Jake’s apartment. “Have we voted yet?”

“Not yet,” Phoenix stated, shaking her head.

“Good.”

Rooster set the grocery bag down on the countertop and turned to Dove, who sighed when she saw the look in his eye.

“Please don’t tell me that you brought more fish.”

“No, but have you ever been gifted flowers, Dove?”

“Not that I can think of, no. Why?”

Rooster pulled out a small bundle of yellow flowers wrapped in plastic and handed it to Dove. Her eyes widened and she took the small bouquet in her hand, staring down at it curiously. She sniffed the flowers before turning back to Rooster.

“Thanks.”

“Any time,” Rooster replied with a wink before moving to walk around the kitchen island. “Excuse me, Hangman.”

Rooster passed by Jake, completely ignoring his death stare, and grabbed a plate. Phoenix got everyone’s attention while Dove quietly placed the flowers down behind her.

“Alright, where are we going to go for our team vacation? Vegas? Or the lakehouse that Bob found?”

“Vegas,” Rooster quickly voted.

“Lakehouse,” Hangman immediately challenged.

“Something tells me that I should crack open a beer,” Coyote sighed, walking to the fridge.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

#top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick #top gun #top gun: maverick #tgm #tgm fanfiction #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #hangman #hangman seresin #hangman series #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman x reader #hangman x reader #hangman seresin x reader #hangman fic #jake seresin fic #jake seresin fanfiction

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comradekatara · 1 year

Note

ozai keels over and dies due to tea going down the wrong pipe one morning before canon starts. what changes, and why does it end up with momo as fire lord?

This Ask Was Meant To Be A Joke But Oops I Wrote A Bajillion Words

otherwise known as my take on an "Ursa kills Ozai" AU

ursa poisons ozai at some point before the siege of ba sing se. she’s gotten fed up with him, and says “fuck it.” the only person who suspects foul play is azula, but she’s like 5 so no one takes her accusations seriously, just assuming she’s mourning her father and is fabricating explanations as a coping mechanism. eventually azula begins to believe this herself, but she never stops subconsciously resenting her mother. zuko feels guilty for feeling relieved, but ursa is there by his side to help him work through his feelings in a healthy(ish) way.

the siege of ba sing se fails when iroh’s son dies. he retreats into his grief, journeying through the spirit world and coming to terms with the great suffering he has inflicted on others. he returns to his father a changed man, tells azulon that he can no longer be crown prince, and instead retreats to a smaller village in the fire nation to set up a tea shop and live in isolated comfort and relative peace. he never finds redemption, but he is content in the knowledge that he is no longer actively causing harm either.

since ozai, iroh, and lu ten are all out of the picture, zuko becomes crown prince. azulon only has a few more good years left in him, so zuko’s education in matters of state is turboboosted. azula worries that her soft, sensitive brother who prefers theater to warfare (but is also far too stubborn to be puppeteered by someone competent, like her) isn’t equipped for the position, and voices this (deeply sincere!) concern to ursa, who assumes the worst and scolds azula for speaking ill of her brother.

azula tells zuko that she’s overheard people having doubts over his ability as the next firelord, and at first he’s defensive, accusing her of lying to him and trying to provoke him like she always does. but eventually he relents and admits that he has doubts too. he wants to be a good firelord for his people, but every time he tries to argue with the generals in war meetings over their plans to sacrifice their own troops for grander victories, azulon pulls him aside and gives him an earful about how he is disrespecting the court and isn’t worthy of the throne. azula rolls her eyes and says “you’re not supposed to argue with the generals, dum dum. you’re lucky father is no longer with us, or he would’ve done much worse over hearing you spout your little treasonous inclinations like that.” zuko’s cheeks turn red and he storms off with his hands balled into fists.

eventually azulon comes out with it, summoning azula for a private meeting to discuss her future. he tells her that she is the superior firebender, the superior tactician, and his perfect heir. zuko’s defects concern him, and he wants to make her firelord instead. only he’s afraid that what with zuko’s temper, naming her his successor might infuriate him to the point of rebellion, and they can’t risk that. so they devise a plan to send zuko to search for the avatar, claiming that since both azulon and sozin did so in the past, it is a rite of honor for a firelord, and only a true firelord is up to the mission.

zuko, who is desperate to prove himself, vows that he will not return to the fire nation until he has done what his forefathers could not, proving once and for all his true worth, that it is his destiny to rule. he is given a grand ship, the finest fleet the nation has to offer. since he is only still a boy, ursa decides to accompany him, leaving azula in the care of her grandfather and the many servants of the palace. azula pretends to be fine with this, since, after all, it was her idea in the first place. zuko’s full head of hair and unblemished skin signify that he has more to gain than to lose. but still, he cannot afford to fail.

that said, he is in great spirits, fully believing in himself, with his beloved mother there by his side to provide tireless support for which he is greatly appreciative. he is constantly gracious towards his crew, full of great scholars who tutor him in matters of state, history, and culture during his search, as well as revered generals honored to serve the future firelord. he is eager to have a goal. he gets to see the world. he’s happy.

and wouldn’t you know it—two years into his search, he actually does it. he finds the avatar, the one who neither sozin nor azulon could find despite their lifelong efforts. he's hiding out in a tiny water tribe village in the south pole, disguised as a child. clever. since zuko is decidedly not operating on WWOD (what would ozai do?) he and ursa decide that it would be best if they arrived as a peaceful delegation to this village of mostly elderly women and children, and used their resources to negotiate a trade.

sokka sees the fire nation ship coming from a mile away; after all, it's huge. he dons his warpaint. he's been waiting for this day. waiting to die defending his people. but the ship does not park itself on their shores; instead, a trio consisting of a boy his age, a middle aged woman, and an old man (one of zuko's tutors, an anthropologist who wants to see this water tribe village up close) approach their village wall and wait for an audience with whoever's in charge. they look harmless, unarmed, peaceful even. katara is curious, even eager to meet them. so many strange new visitors in one day! but sokka reminds her that they're still fire nation, and they must be seen as a threat.

despite their politeness, their request to trade the avatar for their resources is indeed quite suspect. for one thing, the avatar hasn't been seen in over a century, so why the hell would they think that they have him, and for another, if they did have the avatar, they obviously wouldn't hand him over to the fucking fire nation. sokka tells them that they're mistaken, they will find no avatar here, and to be on their way before things get ugly (this is an obvious bluff, since he's already outnumbered, but they don't have to know that).

meanwhile, aang sees commotion in katara and sokka's village. while he understands their reasoning for banishing him after he accidentally set off that flare and put them in danger, he didn't realize that it would happen so immediately. it's his fault, so it's his responsibility to fix it. after all, he's tired of running. it's what got him into this mess in the first place. he penguin sleds his way right into the heart of the village, in between zuko and sokka, and announces that he is the avatar, and if he goes with them, they must promise to leave the village alone. zuko's just like "of course, yeah. i mean i was willing to trade stuff, so this is a great outcome for me." he escorts aang back onto his ship, while katara watches with tears in her eyes, and sokka devises a plan.

aang still hasn't really processed the whole "fire nation is bad" thing yet. he believes katara that the ship they explored attacked their people, of course, but so far, everyone he's met from the fire nation has been super nice to him. this is the future firelord and his kind-eyed mother promising to bring him to the fire palace safely and smoothly, and offering him any accommodations he may need on their journey, nothing like the monstrous soldiers of katara's story. just to make sure, aang asks zuko what they plan on doing with him once they reach the fire nation. zuko pauses, tilting his head. "i.... don't actually know," he admits. "once we reach home, i'll hand you over to my grandfather azulon, and he'll see fit what to do with the avatar, since he's the current firelord." aang concludes that this sounds reasonable.

aang is sitting on deck, drinking a refreshing (yet slightly spicy) beverage when he is approached by one of zuko's tutors. "it is an honor to meet the avatar," he says in a reverent tone. ("thanks!" aang grins brightly. he doesn't really want to be the avatar, but he won't say no to being complimented.) "please heed my warning," says the scholar. "being in the firelord's custody will bring you and the world nothing but pain. i don't believe prince zuko knows what he is doing by bringing you to our shores, but you must escape while you still can." aang looks confused, so he hands him his glider, and a pai sho tile. "consider me a friend."

a large shadow falls over them. aang takes his glider and makes a run for it, landing on appa's back and flying away as zuko rushes on deck to see his guest of honor escaping. "how could this happen?" zuko asks. "weren't you watching him? how did he get his glider? why did he break his promise?" his tutor shrugs, explaining that airbenders are masters of evasion. and this one has managed to evade the world for the past century. "you're right," agrees zuko. "next time i find him, i will be far more vigilant."

zuko knows that other gloryseekers in the fire nation will attempt to capture that which is rightfully his, so he tries not to advertise it, but soon enough word gets out of the avatar's return, making the slippery little airbender that much more elusive. he refuses to go home without the avatar in hand. (if the spies aboard zuko's ship, either for azulon or for the white lotus, have a hand in dispersing this information, zuko does not question it.)

after an... educational visit to the southern air temple, aang decides to visit kyoshi island to ride the elephant koi. they end up staying longer than they intended to, what with aang's excitement over having an entourage, and sokka's excitement at actually meeting a girl his age for the first time in his life. it doesn't take long for the news to spread to zuko, who makes a beeline to the island. he manages to avoid the unagi as he makes it onto their shores, accompanied by some actual soldiers this time. "hand over the avatar, and no one will get hurt," he declares.

unfortunately, the villagers do not comply, instead sending their warriors to fight him. they're pretty evenly matched until aang shows up, using a pair of fans to knock zuko to the ground and run off on appa while the prince is distracted. since zuko has no further qualms with this village, he retreats to his ship, leaving suki and her village to pick up the pieces from their battle. thankfully the damage was minimal, and no one was seriously hurt, but it does inspire her to make a choice.

zuko is too late by the time he makes it to the prison rig, but he does find something useful: a necklace that could only belong to the water tribe girl helping the avatar. "that's a pretty bracelet you've got there," ursa remarks. zuko flushes. "i'm just tying it around my wrist for safekeeping," he scoffs. he can use it as leverage, he knows. he just hasn't figured out how yet.

zuko tells zhao that he isn’t allowed to try to capture the avatar, since this was his mission, as tasked by the firelord. zhao smugly replies that zuko had his chance, and now it’s anyone’s game. the man who brings the avatar back to the fire nation is sure to be handsomely rewarded, and so zhao will stop at nothing to make sure that man is him. so when he successfully kidnaps aang, zuko has no choice but to don his mother’s theater mask, strap his swords to his back, and break aang out of pohuai stronghold.

zuko wakes up to the avatar talking about life 100 years ago. since by now he’s pretty sure the avatar is literally a child, he wonders whether the kid is referring to his past life, or if he’s actually just demented. aang asks zuko if they could’ve been friends if not for the war. zuko firmly says, “no. i’m not friends with liars who break their promises.” (he’s also not friends with anyone besides his mother, but that’s neither here nor there.) he’s obviously referring to the fact that aang broke his word by escaping his ship, but that’s not where aang’s mind goes. he looks down, feeling guilty, ashamed. “okay,” he says quietly. “guess I’ll get going, then.” by the time zuko has actually considered capturing him for himself, aang has disappeared into the trees.

stowing away inside a giant fire nation ship with countless people was a smart move, but june's shirshu is smarter. zuko is outraged that she would dare to damage a ship belonging to the firelord himself to catch a simple petty thief, but he claims that if she can help him find someone, he'll consider them even. june decides that gaining the trust of the future firelord is surely a good investment, so she helps him track down his little girlfriend.

by the time zuko has located the water tribe teens, the avatar is no longer with them. he offers to trade the necklace for the boy, but katara firmly refuses, calling him a monster. zuko realizes that maybe one necklace isn’t actually worth a person, so he offers them money as well. (“well hang on a second, how much are we talking?” sokka says—as a joke, god—and katara smacks him.) june doesn’t have time to deal with futile negotiations, so she speeds up the process by paralyzing them and tracking down her bounty.

the nuns’ perfumes disorient nyla, so june peaces out asap. katara gets her necklace back, and wonders how zuko even stole it in the first place. zuko laments yet another loss. his tutors remind him that it is simply not the way of the world for ordinary people to win in fights against the avatar. but zuko isn’t an ordinary person. he’s the future firelord. so why isn’t he better than this?

zhao steps aboard zuko’s ship without his permission (he doesn’t need it; he has azulon’s). he informs zuko that he will be taking every eligible soldier for his mission, as per azulon’s command. zuko learns that he is leading an attack against the northern water tribe. but why? zuko wonders. has the northern water tribe actually attacked the fire nation? they’re famously isolationist, so it wouldn’t make sense to attack them without provocation. even the knowledge that the avatar will be there to master waterbending does little to mitigate zuko’s confusion. why bother harming countless civilians just to extract one person?

ursa warns zuko against voicing these treasonous thoughts to anyone else. treasonous? is it treasonous to question why the fire nation would attack a self-sufficient, isolated society that causes no harm to anyone else? of course the fire nation had to defend themselves against the air nomad army, and then the earth kingdom and southern water tribe, but he thought the northern water tribe had never been a part of the war. is it really just because the avatar will be there? he knows that zhao is a power-hungry monster, and admittedly, he does find his grandfather quite terrifying, but this seems needlessly cruel even for them...right? ursa sighs. maybe azula had a point. he really is hopelessly naive.

zuko decides that the only way to prevent this damage is by capturing the avatar himself. so he takes a jetski to the northern water tribe, alone, and waits for them to let him into the city. he is brought before the chief, who demands an explanation. zuko explains that the fire nation is planning an attack against them, which he personally does not endorse, but if they handed over the avatar, then the fire nation would no longer see their people as a threat, and have no reason to harm them.

everyone immediately objects, assuming that this is simply a trick to secure the avatar before they just attack them anyway. but aang vouches for zuko. “he wouldn’t lie,” he promises. he decides that he has no choice but to follow zuko’s lead if it means saving the entire northern water tribe. katara protests, but yue just looks on sympathetically. “it’s his duty,” she tells her, her voice heavy.

zuko brings the avatar before zhao, telling him that if he hands aang over, then zhao can call off the siege before any bloodshed is necessary. zhao says, “we have a deal,” and locks aang in a heavily fortified cell. then he knocks zuko out while he isn’t looking, and locks him in a cell of his own. “foolish boy. you really think i’d call off my invasion just for the avatar? i’m about to create a legacy. too bad you won’t be around to see it.”

katara runs to sokka, who’s off preparing for a secret mission, and explains to him what’s happened. sokka slaps his forehead. “if prince ponytail thinks that zhao would call off his invasion just for aang then he’s even dumber than i thought.” katara’s all like “that’s what i said!” but of course aang and yue and zuko were all too honorable to listen. “so what’s your plan?” katara asks. “it’s simple,” says sokka. “first, we go to zhao’s ship.” (“yes, absolutely, agrees katara.) “free aang.” (“uh huh, duh.”) “and then we kill zhao.” (“uhm...............”)

sokka assures katara that he’ll do all the killing and murdering and katara and aang don’t have to get their hands dirty. katara frowns but doesn’t protest. they take appa (underwater, thanks to katara’s recent waterbending upgrade) to zhao’s ship, easy to identify as it’s the nearest, biggest one.

they sneak on without issue. any guards who do notice them are immediately knocked out by katara before they can even protest. aang and zuko are being held in cells on opposite sides of the same room. they’re both chained so as to restrict their bending, but between katara’s bending and sokka’s arsenal of weapons, they’re able to break aang free. and then aang says something ridiculous. “i think we should free zuko too.”

sokka’s just like “absolutely not. we’re here to rescue you and ........incapacitate zhao, zuko is our enemy.” but then aang does his puppy dog eyes and before sokka can even protest further he’s broken zuko out anyway and katara, the traitor, is helping him. sokka sighs, knowing that this is going to complicate his plan significantly.

aang’s all like, “well why would zhao even lock zuko up in the first place if zuko didn’t have good inside him?? huh????” and sokka’s like “I don’t know maybe because zhao is an evil power-hungry monster and he doesn’t want zuko to get in his way????” and none of them can argue with that, because that’s exactly what happened.

they make a deal with zuko that they will return him to his ship if he promises to stop hunting them, and zuko is like, “what if i stop hunting you for like.... a week?” and sokka is like, “what if i murder you right now?” and zuko’s like, “okay FINE. two weeks.”

sokka decides he can murder zuko later and goes off to find zhao, telling aang and zuko to go find appa while katara follows him for backup. sokka has no idea why he trusted aang and zuko to listen to him, because of course they follow them secretly.

and sokka is SO CLOSE to slitting zhao’s throat with the edge of his blade while he was sleeping, it would’ve been SO EASY, when zuko lets out an extremely loud, involuntary gasp from the corner of the room where he and aang are hiding. technically it’s not actually zuko’s fault that zhao wakes up, because at the same time, aang cried out “NO!” which is definitely what actually awoke zhao, but sokka has decided to blame it on zuko anyway.

zhao’s eyes snap open and he firebends around the room, only managing not to scorch them all to a crisp because aang, katara, and zuko all immediately respond by using their bending to put out the fire. a fight breaks out, aang and katara trying to incapacitate zhao, sokka still hoping to kill him, zhao trying to kill all of them, and zuko frantically trying to deescalate the situation. he keeps blocking zhao by just. putting out his firebending. and he keeps blocking sokka by just pushing him out of the way every time he’s about to land a blow. which is quite possibly the most irritating thing that has ever happened to sokka in a fight.

zuko is so annoyed by this situation that eventually he’s just like, “ALL RIGHT EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING!” and he yells it so loudly and commandingly that they actually do what he says and freeze in place. “no one is killing anyone,” he says. “the avatar will be captured alive. and zhao committed high treason by imprisoning me, the crown prince, which means that he is to be sent to my grandfather so the fire nation can determine what to do with him.”

his air of diplomacy wears off after like five seconds though, and sokka just says, “that’s stupid. you’re not letting me kill him because you think the fire nation should be the ones to execute him? that literally doesn’t make sense unless you’re some persnickety imperialist bootlicker. i should kill you right now just for being so moronic.”

painfully, katara is forced to agree with sokka. she nods her head solemnly, “sokka’s right,” she tells zuko, “and you are a moron.” zhao is begrudgingly impressed. he’s like, “wow if i didn’t want to eradicate your entire race, i’d recruit you as my lieutenant.” sokka’s like, “that’s the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me but ok.”

this standstill is the perfect opportunity for aang to knock out zhao and katara to knock out zuko, which sokka tries to indicate subtly with his eyes and hand signals, but aang and katara are just like, “what? what are you saying?” and they’re mouthing to each other looking all stupid which is the perfect opportunity for zhao to just. slip out of the room and lock the door behind him, leaving them all trapped. he gathers the most important members of his crew and lets them know to move to another ship as quickly as possible, since there’s no way that door will hold the avatar for long. he lets the rest of his crew know that they’re about to be in for the fight of their lives.

aang tries to use airbending to kick down the door, which only dents the metal slightly. then katara tries to freeze the hinges, but the door only opens from the top, leaving an opening so small even momo couldn’t climb through (and momo is back in agna qel’a safely with yue anyway). then zuko uses his firebending powered kicks to try to pry the door off its hinges, leaving it rattled and slightly more dented. just as aang is about to try again, sokka’s like, “is it my turn yet?” takes out the knife in his boot, and picks the lock. katara smacks him over the head for not just having done that in the first place.

the entirety of zhao’s remaining crew is right outside the door, waiting to kill all of them at their admiral’s orders. it’s a brutal fight. they don’t hold back, no matter how many times zuko insists that he ranks higher than zhao and therefore they should be listening to him! katara knocks out most of them with a water whip, and aang takes out the rest with an airbending move that gives them all the concussion of their lives. they run back to appa as fast as they can, mowing down soldiers along the way. they don’t really have another option, so they let zuko climb onto appa too.

they fly back to the capital, where arnook is waiting for them. they explain the situation as quickly as possible, and that the secret mission to take out zhao was a bust. (sokka will later realize that he could’ve killed zhao before freeing aang, and regret everything.) yue suggests getting help from the spirits, so she takes aang and katara to the oasis so that aang can enter the spirit world and seek the guidance he needs.

meanwhile, sokka and arnook are debating what to do with zuko. on one hand, he did try to protect their tribe, which means he should get diplomatic immunity since he’s technically their ally against this invasion. on the other hand, he’s the crown prince of the fire nation, and if they hold him for ransom then the firelord will probably call off the siege. but also the message won’t be received in time for that, since zhao could be approaching any second, so maybe it would be more helpful to use zuko to fight against this army, which he could probably be convinced to do. meanwhile zuko is sitting in a little prison cell like, “i wonder how mom’s doing...”

pakku gets a message from the white lotus that the crown prince has been missing for a day, along with a jetski, and if he happens to know where he might have gone? with some light snooping, pakku finds out that zuko is being held prisoner, but they're probably going to free him since he doesn't really seem to be a threat. so he assures the white lotus that he's safe in their city, and not to worry. ursa worries.

sokka goes to visit zuko, giving him the option to fight in exchange for his freedom, when he sees a shadow slink into the wall. he pretends not to notice anything. "we've decided to release you provided you help us prepare and fight against zhao's invasion, which seems like something you'd be willing to do considering he just tried to kill you. the blue spirit can help too i guess," he says, gesturing to ursa in the corner of the room, who scoffs behind her mask.

zuko agrees that zhao committing high treason, going back on his word, trying to kill the avatar, and invading an isolationist society are all pretty good grounds for fighting that guy. he's very confused by what sokka means about the blue spirit, though, because he was pretty sure that he's the blue spirit...? ursa takes off her mask and waves. zuko lights up. "MOM!!!!!!!!!" he cries, and rushes to hug her as sokka unlocks the door to his cell. and ohmygod sokka hates this guy so fucking much.

ursa's like, "are you sure you don't want to apturecay the vataray?" sokka rolls his eyes at her assumption that he somehow can't hear and/or understand her. or maybe she just doesn't care. zuko's like, "ugh, i promised them a two weeks truce." ursa doesn't know whether to be proud of or annoyed by her son who refuses to go back on his word, ever.

sokka takes zuko (and ursa) to arnook, who can command them as he best sees fit, and then heads over to the spirit oasis so he can be there for katara, aang, and yue. aang is busy meditating, so katara and yue are just standing there keeping watch and hoping for the best. zhao enters through the door while aang is still in the spirit world. katara defends aang with everything she has, and sokka is torn between providing backup and making sure no one lays a hand on yue. they're sorely outnumbered. especially because while katara and sokka are busy protecting aang (and yue), they leave room open for zhao to pluck a certain koi fish out of a pond.

aang returns to his body a second too late. "why is the moon red?" he asks. then he sees zhao. "oh no." he begs with zhao, pleads him not to do this. destroying the moon wouldn't just hurt the water tribes, but the whole world. just put the fish down, and then they can negotiate. zhao slowly sets tui down. and then he roasts it. the sky goes dark. aang blows a gust of wind at zhao and his soldiers so powerful that it knocks half of them out. zhao knows that there's no winning a fight against the avatar, and runs out of the oasis. he got what he came for anyway.

yue starts crying. "there's no hope now," she says. "it's over." katara can't bend. the sky is black. she feels as sick as she did when she was born. "no," says aang, his voice echoing with his countless lifetimes. "it's not over." he steps into the pond, and emerges bonded with the ocean spirit. so that one solves one problem. the entire fire navy fleet is decimated in a matter of minutes, and the ocean drops aang off on the wall of the city once they're certain their mission is complete.

meanwhile zuko is fighting zhao on another bridge, more furious than zhao has ever seen him. "how could you could this?" he shouts, pummeling zhao with fireballs. even as zhao nearly trips trying to block zuko's attack, he sneers. "i didn't do anything your father wouldn't have done, had he taken his rightful place on the throne." zuko can't believe this. his father died when he was just a child. yes, he was somewhat cold and distant, but zuko has fond memories of him too, like when he would teach him history while sitting on the beach at ember island, or when he would play soldier with him in the garden (or... wait.... was that uncle iroh?). "if only your bitch of a mother didn't kill him."

zuko suddenly remembers something azula said to him, only once. his ears ring. he repeats what he had said (shouted) then. "you're lying!" his fireballs grow even stronger. suddenly, a giant glowing hand emerges from the canal. zuko ducks and rolls out of the way, but the hand wasn't after him anyway. without thinking, zuko reaches out to zhao. "grab my hand!" he tells him, and zhao nearly does it before thinking better of it and pulling away. the last thing zhao sees is the moon shining bright in the sky once more.

zuko wipes his eyes before teartracks can freeze his cheeks, and then goes to find his mom. sokka and katara go to find aang. they all find one another on the bridge, ursa already tending to aang who is slumped on the ground. "what happened to the moon?" zuko asks. sokka doesn't answer, his mouth set in a thin line. "what happened to zhao?" asks katara. zuko doesn't answer, merely looks down. "did you kill him?" asks sokka. since zuko doesn't respond, they take this to mean that he did. "oh man," whines sokka. "i wanted to do that!" he had already been prepared to kill zhao, and then yue... ugh. it's not fair! why does this idiot get everything good??

in the morning, arnook sends zuko back to his ship as a thanks for killing zhao (zuko doesn't bother to correct him). the gaang stays behind for a bit to help clean up the mess, but sokka insists that they have to leave soon to find aang an earthbending teacher (and if he doesn't wanna stay here another second longer for other reasons, he doesn't mention it). they go find a general who wants to help aang access the avatar state, while zuko and what's left of his crew travel to a spa to relax for a while, seeing as he can't attempt to capture the avatar at the moment anyway.

who shows up but azula, who zuko hasn't seen in years. "wow, zuzu, you look terrible," is one of the first things out of her mouth, but he can't even be offended because he knows it's true. he's barely slept since the siege of the north, and the only food he's kept down is plain white rice. ursa was hoping the resort would help improve his health, but he can't hide his declining state from his sister. he's haunted by images of zhao going under, pulling away from his hand in disgust, of his mother doing the same to ozai. he doesn't know who to trust anymore. he thinks he might hate himself. "don't call me that," zuko snaps. he hasn't seen his sister in years. she looks different. colder, sharper.

"hello, azula, it's really good to see you," ursa says calmly. she goes in for a hug, but azula blocks her. "you didn't even write," she says, refusing to look her mother in the eye. ursa frowns. "of course i did," she says. "did you not receive my letters?" she hadn't. azulon had intercepted them. he thought it best if he kept azula all to himself. azula thinks she's being mocked, but she holds back her tears, as she's been learning to do since she was born. "grandfather wants you back in the fire nation," she tells zuko. "his health is declining. you ought to prepare for your coronation."

zuko doesn't really want to return, but he doesn't know how he feels traveling the world with his mom anymore, and it's his duty to take the throne, so it's not like he has a choice. then one of azula's crew lets it slip that zuko is not their honored guest, but their prisoner, and all hell breaks loose. "of course grandfather doesn't want you on the throne!" azula taunts him. "your repeated failure to capture the avatar has been an embarrassment! not to mention, you aided the water tribe during the siege, and literally killed an admiral."

"i didn't kill him, i tried to save him!" zuko protests. "and the avatar is extremely powerful, even you couldn't catch him." (azula takes this as a challenge.) zuko and ursa barely escape with their lives, being given enough of a head start only because ursa pushed azula into the water below. she doesn't even make sure to check if her daughter is okay, she just grabs zuko's hand and runs.

they run and run until they reach a clearing in the woods. zuko throws up in the river. "i didn't kill zhao," he whispers, over and over again. "i didn't kill zhao... i didn't....." ursa hugs him as breaks down. "i know honey, i know." but zuko is shaking in her arms for another reason. "did you kill my father?" he asks. ursa tenses, and zuko backs away from her. "no," she says. "no, of course not. why would you think that?"

"you did.... didn't you....." zuko can barely control his rage. ursa starts crying, pleading with him. "you don't understand, zuko, he would've killed you. killed me. please, you must understand. i had no other choice. it was self-defense." zuko shakes his head. "i get why you did it," he says, because he may be naive, but he's not stupid. "but why did you lie to me? everyone acted like azula was crazy, but she was right all along."

ursa smiles sadly. "i lied to protect you," she says. "i couldn't let anyone else know what i did." zuko sees his mother for the first time. he unsheathes his knife, the pearl dagger uncle iroh gave him just before he disappeared. "cut. your. hair." honor never meant much to ursa, she knew it to be a hollow facade that hid ill-tempered husbands behind delusions of grandeur. but she knows how much it means to zuko. so she takes his knife and cuts her hair to her chin, too short to tie into a topknot.

zuko takes the knife back, and in the spur of the moment, cuts off his ponytail too. he doesn't even fully know why he does it. it's not like he murdered anyone. but he also knows that if it came down to it, he'd do anything for his mother, and maybe that counts all the same. "we have to keep moving," ursa tells him. "azula could be on our trail right now." zuko is about to protest that it's all a misunderstanding, that if he just talked to his grandfather he could clear his name, but another, newer part of him doesn't even believe that anymore. so he takes ursa's hand, and they head to the nearest earth kingdom town in search for provisions and a map that can lead them to ba sing se.

after weeks of traveling from town to town, depending on the kindness of strangers to keep them fed (or well, ursa fed. zuko still doesn't eat much), zuko can't take it anymore. "i'm the crown prince," he complains, "i shouldn't be living like this! i need to go talk to azula and make things right." ursa shakes her head. "what you need is to be patient," she says. "once we reach ba sing se, we'll find a roof over our heads, good jobs, and a steady life. a little hard work won't kill you in the meantime." zuko is about to complain that it most certainly will, but his mom has been doing so much for him lately (and his whole life), so he just sighs and acquiesces.

one night, while they're sleeping in someone's barn, zuko asks his mom how she knows how to do all kinds of manual labor. that's not the kind of thing you learn growing up in a palace. ursa explains that she wasn't actually raised as a noble, although she has noble blood. she grew up in a small village in the southern fire nation, where she likely would have spent her whole life if she hadn't been chosen to be ozai's bride due to her relation to avatar roku. zuko's just like, "uh....... hold up????? you literally never told me any of this?????????"

ursa says she figured it wasn't important. even zuko knows that's a lie. it seems extremely important. "elaborate. now," he demands. so ursa tells him stories of growing up on a small, quiet island, studying theater with her friends, firebending with her mom, and fishing with her dad. she tells him about how she was taken away, given no choice. she tells him stories of what ozai said to her, what he did to her. she doesn't go into detail or anything, but she figures zuko is old enough to know. she tells him more stories the next night, lighter ones this time. the story of where she got her favorite mask. the story of making sweet buns with her brother. stories about zuko and azula when they were babies. the night after that, she tells him the story of roku and sozin.

"i don't understand," says zuko. "sozin let roku die?? why would he do that?? roku was his friend!" ursa can't help it; she laughs. "roku was the only thing stopping sozin from spreading the glory of the fire nation across the world. he cared about roku, but he also cared about his nation." zuko scoffs. "it sounds to me like he cared about no one but himself." ursa would scold him for voicing such a thought if she hadn't been wondering the same thing.

the next morning, zuko slips away silently with his swords strapped to his back. he's tired of running. so when azula tracks aang to a ghost town, zuko appears moments later. "zuko?" exclaims aang. he's so tired, he wonders if he's hallucinating. they haven't seen zuko since the north pole, and despite his new haircut being quite flattering, he looks even worse than aang currently feels. he doesn't have much time to reflect, since azula uses this pause to attack aang, and zuko is trying to intervene for reasons unclear to both of them. katara and sokka show up to defend aang.

meanwhile toph has bumped into a woman about her mother's age on the side of the road. they have a long talk, and they both feel a lot better by the end of it, even if it makes toph miss her mom and ursa miss azula. toph returns to the gaang just in time to save their butts. zuko keeps yelling for azula to stop so they can talk, but azula's just like "can't you see i'm busy right now?"

what does catch her attention, though, is the arrival of ursa. the woman who brought her into the world, and, most recently, pushed her into the sea without a second thought. her hair is shorter. “azula," says ursa sternly, in that what am i going to do with this truculent child voice she has never once used on zuko. "we need to talk."

"yes, yes, mother," says azula. "once i've captured the avatar, then we can hash everything out." ursa grabs azula by the back of her collar as if she's a kitten. "now, young lady!" and she marches azula to the other side of the town, motioning for zuko to stay put. toph is suddenly far less regretful of the fact that this woman is not her mother.

"so...." says zuko, upon noticing that three familiar pairs of eyes are staring at him. he waves awkwardly. aang waves back, but feels so stupid that he puts his hand down after a single second of consideration. "okay," says sokka. "we're all thinking it, so i'm just gonna say it. you look awful." aang and katara both nod. he really does. "oh my god," says toph, "let's LEAVE."

out of the corner of her eye, azula catches the avatar and his companions just walking away, without so much as a fight from zuko, and she squirms in ursa's grasp. "but–" she protests, pointing at the receding blur of orange and yellow. "don't talk back to me!" ursa snaps as she continues lecturing azula on why she needs to be a better sister to zuko and it's clear she wants to take the throne but as a woman that just isn't her place and–

"that's rich coming from the woman who murdered her husband," azula says. ursa does not dignify azula's comment with a response. "also, i don't want the throne," azula continues. "grandfather wants me to have the throne. i'm just doing what he told me to." the fact that he own mother thinks so little of her, that she hasn't seen her in years, didn't even bother to write, and now all she wants to do is lecture her on not being good enough... azula does not cry. her lip wobbles a little, but she's fine. she's fine.

zuko walks over to them, disobeying his mother’s orders. he just doesn’t get why she would scold azula when she should know that she made azula feel as if she was crazy her whole life. shouldn’t she feel at least a little bit guilty for that? “i didn’t kill zhao,” he tells azula. “a giant spirit hand rose out of the ocean and dragged him down. i tried to help him but he wouldn’t take my hand. believe me or don’t. i don’t care.”

unfortunately, azula does believe him. because she knows her brother, and he cannot tell a lie to save his life. but this is a problem, because grandfather wants zuko out of the way, and without the precedent of treason, they have no good reason not to maintain his position as heir. but she’s always been good at thinking on her feet. “what if,” she proposes, “we work together to capture the avatar, but you take all the credit for it? then surely grandfather would be impressed enough with you that he wouldn’t mind giving you the throne. in return, all i ask is that when you’re firelord, you do everything i say, which is only fair because grandfather thinks i’d make a better ruler, and all my advice would be in your best interest anyway. do we have a deal?”

zuko doesn’t like the sound of being beholden to azula; he’s too proud for that. but he also wants his grandfather’s approval. there's also another issue... “i don’t know how i feel about capturing the avatar, to be honest,” zuko says. “at first i thought he was a scheming coward from a backwards culture, but he actually seems like a pretty good kid. maybe we could reason with him instead?”

azula resists the urge to smack her forehead. this kind of thinking is exactly why he shouldn’t be in charge of a fishing boat, let alone a global superpower. “were you born without balls?” she honestly can’t believe she’s related to him. (“language,” ursa warns.) “you know what, i feel bad even suggesting that we work together. clearly, grandfather was right about you, and if you dare set foot in the fire nation again we will have no choice but to convict you for the murder of that dumbass admiral guy. i mean personally i wish you did kill him, because it would be the only modicum of chutzpah you’d ever display in your pathetic little life, but of course you couldn’t even do that much. and mother, you can’t blame me for lack of trying. but i think you know as well as i do that your son is a lost cause. i’ll be going now. don’t try to contact me again.”

with that, azula walks away, and neither zuko nor ursa try to stop her. she finds mai and ty lee back in the woods by their mounts, damp and shivering and smelling unpleasantly of river water. this situation doesn’t stop ty lee from wrapping azula in a hug the moment she lays eyes upon her expression, poorly masked distress and red eyes threatening to spill over. azula just stands there, letting her clothes get wet.

“so............” says ursa. zuko stares at her. he knows she’s trying so hard not to say i told you so. instead she says, “ba sing se?” zuko reluctantly nods. so he’ll let azula take the throne while he hides in the earth kingdom like a coward. he’s fine with that! glad, even! his family is all kinds of fucked up. who needs them? not him! (he's always been a terrible liar.)

“i have some contacts who can help us get fake passports and tickets aboard the ferry,” ursa says. “i hope you know that this isn’t a dishonorable thing to do. there’s no shame in retreating from a bad situation before it gets worse.” zuko frowns. “like when you killed my father, you mean?” he asks. ursa nods. “something like that,” she agrees.

"i mean, honestly, zuko... do you even want to be firelord?" zuko scoffs. what is she even talking about? of course he wants to be firelord! it's been his birthright since uncle abdicated, he's been training for it since he was a child. it's honorable to perform one's duty by serving the most just and forward-thinking nation in the world. ursa sighs. "see, zuko, this is exactly what i'm talking about. do you even believe what you're saying right now?"

"okay, okay," zuko concedes, "so maybe great-grandfather sozin and grandfather azulon have been a little extreme in their views, but they needed to rule with a firm hand due to the pressures of the war and the power vacuum left by the disappearance of the avatar. now that he's back, i'm sure we can find negotiations with the other nations that satisfy everyone's needs, and–"

"oh my god. ZUKO. who do you think STARTED the war?" ursa all but yells. zuko pauses. he doesn't want to say something wrong. there are a lot of false starts, opening his mouth, and then promptly closing it, like the world's most thoughtful goldfish. when he finally does speak, he's quiet and to the point. "we did," he says.

ursa lets zuko grapple with this revelation all the way to ba sing se. some guy keeps trying to talk to him on the ferry but gives up after five minutes of realizing he's not paying attention, way too absorbed in his own thoughts and recontextualized memories. they walk through the lower ring, navigating the throng of refugees who have been displaced by the war. zuko doesn't know whether he wants to stay in this bubble forever, or if he's more determined than ever to assume the throne, and right the wrongs of his forefathers. all he knows for certain is that his mom managed to set them up with the coolest jobs he could ever hope for.

katara knows that ba sing se is a horrendous hyperstratified police state, but she's always been one to see the good in things, and ever since her fun little day at the spa with toph, she's been enjoying perusing the cultural resources ba sing se's upper ring has to offer. so she takes momo to a park, where he runs around chasing birds; she takes sokka to the library, where he complains that all their intelligence is outdated while she browses the romance section; she makes all of them go shopping with her, because they lost most of their stuff when appa was stolen, and she's sick of wearing the same outfit every single day; and she tries to cheer up aang as much as possible, which includes a matinee showing of some old earth kingdom play she's never actually heard of, but which got rave reviews in the ba sing se gazette.

during intermission (one of two, apparently this play is four and a half hours long???) katara whispers to aang, "is it just me, or does the lead actress look familiar?" aang is confused. "what do you mean by that? she's literally wearing a mask." katara shrugs. "i dunno..." she says, "i just get this creepy feeling like i've seen her before." they almost miss it, because they're jumping out of the seats by the time the play has finally ended, but thankfully katara remembers to look back when the cast members take their masks off, because holy shit she does know that woman.

aang and katara stealthily follow their marks, trailing behind a good distance while also making sure not to lose them in the crowd. it helps that aang has an aerial view. they finally end up in front of a lower ring apartment complex, where two of the most high-ranking members of the fire nation royal family are apparently.... living??? they're not exactly sure how to make their next move. aang offers that they wait for sokka to come up with a plan, since he'd know what to do, but katara is too impatient. she tells aang to wait outside, and that she'll signal to him if it's a trap, at which point he should get toph and sokka (she's fairly confident she can take a skinny dweeb and his mom on her own, but she doesn't want him getting his slimy fire nation hands on aang).

in a perhaps inadvisable move (since their landlord now expects her to pay for the damages), she kicks the door down, holding ice daggers in each hand. "all right, i'm onto you," she threatens the mother currently trying to pile more food onto the plate of her resisting son. "how did you infiltrate the city, and why are you here?"

zuko shrieks, and then realizes it's just the avatar's waterbender friend. "oh hey...........you." (it suddenly occurs to him that he never bothered to learn her name.) "what are you doing here?"

"that's none of your business," says katara, folding her arms. like she'd spill their secret invasion plan to the crown prince, or let it slip that appa is missing. yeah right. "well, it is kind of my business," replies zuko, "seeing as you're in our apartment." ursa hands her a fresh plate. "sit and eat with us. we can answer all your questions over dinner." katara complies with little fuss, since fire nation or not, she can't help but be charmed by any sort of maternal figure. not to mention she was enchanting in that play.

zuko and ursa explain to katara that they're laying low in ba sing se to avoid the wrath of his grandfather, who has declared him a traitor for helping the northern water tribe during the siege, and they actually quite like it here. ursa successfully auditioned her way into one of ba sing se's most elite theater troupes, and zuko was hired as assistant stage manager. they have no ulterior motive, zuko is just content to help his mother live out her lifelong dreams of becoming an actress, since he's currently too confused about everything to even know what stance he should be taking in this war anyway.

katara leaps at this. "what do you mean you're confused?" she asks. as much as sokka claims that zuko is the biggest idiot he's ever met (and that includes chong), katara can't help but harbor the mildest of soft spots for a guy whose best friend is clearly his mom. maybe this is her chance to finally Fix Him. "well," says zuko, "i always thought my role in this war and in the world was to help my grandfather and someday take over his role as firelord, but now it seems like my grandfather hates me, so i'm not really sure what to do about that. also you and the avatar seem really nice? but not your brother though, he's really mean and kinda terrifying. so... yeah. i'll probably just stay here with my mom."

katara's like, "okay, i totally get that, your mom seems dope, but what if, instead, you went full traitor and helped teach aang firebending? wouldn't that be fun? and don't worry about sokka, you can always just distract him with food or something shiny." and zuko's like, "suppose i agree to your offer, how am i even supposed to firebend in this city without getting arrested?" which is admittedly a pretty good point. but katara's like, "we'll be leaving eventually, and when we do, you can come with us and train aang then!"

zuko's torn, because on one hand he doesn't want to leave his mom, but on the other hand, being an official companion to the avatar seems like a more worthwhile use of time than assistant stage managing (even if it is really fun). ursa's also torn, because on one hand, her dearest wish has always been for her children to be able to lead normal, happy lives, but on the other hand, she thinks it might be good for zuko to finally make some friends his age, and on the other hand, she's not sure if those friends should be the anti-fire nation revolutionaries who are trying to kill his family? like, yes, sure, she's also killed his family, but it wasn't really a politics thing, it was far more personal than that. but zuko's always harbored lowkey treasonous political views, and she cares more about supporting her son's ambitions than she cares about whether or not the fire nation wins the war, if we're being completely honest. it's a real conundrum. ultimately, they're both just like, "we'll think about it," which is good enough for katara, who is convinced that anyone who thinks about it long enough will ultimately come to the obvious conclusion that it is far better to be Good than Bad.

so she leaves their apartment (struggling in a futile attempt to reset their door before finally giving up and leaning it against the wall for their landlord to fix), signals for aang to come down from the roof, and takes the monorail back to the upper ring, where she informs toph and sokka of the absolutely insane day she just had. sokka is immediately opposed to this idea. "you couldn't have found anyone else even slightly less annoying to teach aang firebending?? i really don't wanna spend more time around that guy than i've already been forced to." toph reminds them all that zuko didn't even actually agree to it. he said he'd think about it, which is the exact kind of thing you say to someone when you want them to leave you alone. sokka's like, "man i wish this was the end of it but if you think aang and katara aren't gonna follow up with him the next day and the day after that then you clearly do not know them well enough."

as it turns out, they don't have time to follow up with him the next day, because this is the day that katara runs into jet. (you really think that jet wouldn't find another way to cause a public scene protesting the inherent inequalities of the city, leading to his arrest by the dai li??? cmon now.) with his help, they make their way to lake laogai, where they free appa, but not before their frenemy's demise. they ride into the earth kingdom palace, mowing down countless dai li agents along the way, expose long feng's fraud, and inform the earth king of the reality of the war. all in a day's work.

they decide to go their separate ways for the time being: sokka to see his dad, aang to see guru pathik, toph to "see" her "mom," while katara stays in the city and "helps with the invasion" (ie, lets momo loose in an earth kingdom war room, uses king kuei's credit card to buy so many earrings, goes to see some more plays and then brag to the guy sitting next to her that she's friends with the lead actress). of course katara told sokka to go see their dad because she knows how much he misses him (and not at all because the thought of going to see her dad makes bile rise in her throat haha why would you even say that????), but she's also curious as to whether she can get to know zuko a little bit better in the meantime as well.

she shows up at his apartment and basically demands that they hang out. zuko has seen her waterbend, so like, what is he gonna do?? say no??? they have a very fun time wandering around the lower ring, sampling the food vendors, perusing the market stalls, getting lost in little winding alleyways. momo stayed behind with katara, and zuko is absolutely enchanted by him the entire night. it startles zuko to realize that he weirdly feels very close to katara, like they could’ve been best friends in another life. maybe they still have that opportunity. if he takes her up on her offer to join her group, then he can hang out with her (and momo!!!!) every day... but no, he couldn’t leave his mom, she’s done far too much for him for him to just abandon her...

he tries to communicate this sentiment to her, tries to tell her just how much his mom means to him. katara sighs. “i understand,” she says. “i’d give anything to be able to spend more time with my mom.” zuko stupidly asks where katara’s mom is now. katara very patiently explains. he’s shocked, so he asks a lot of follow-up questions, and katara is like “yes, finally, my opportunity to fully radicalize him!” and you know what? she does. and then she makes him buy her noodles even though she has the king’s all but unlimited purse and he only has the spare change he makes from his job as an assistant stage manager.

katara walks zuko home from their totally not a date and ursa invites her inside for dinner. katara is already extremely full from all the street food she ate, but she will not pass up the opportunity to eat food cooked by a mom. zuko’s mom, even. after dinner is over, ursa asks katara to help her with the dishes, and katara, who loves an excuse to show off her waterbending, happily agrees. sotto voce, ursa mentions to katara, as casually as she can, “look, you need to know something about zuko. i love my son very much, and nothing could ever change that, but.... he was born...... wrong. there’s nothing i could’ve done differently, so ive accepted it and protected him, but you should know that you’re not gonna get what you’re looking for from him.”

katara’s like, “what do you mean........ wrong?” frankly she has not met a more well-adjusted member of the fire nation. if he’s wrong, then what’s zhao??? ursa sighs. how is she gonna explain this to a wide-eyed teenage girl who has decided to pin all her hopes and dreams on her wonderful mistake of a son. ursa backtracks. “not, uh, wrong, per se, just different. he’s not.... normal.”

katara thinks about the fire nation’s standards for normality and decides that maybe that’s a good thing. ursa’s like “okay but just keep in mind what i said all right?” and katara nods with a wide, impassive smile and thanks her for dinner, the dishes all sparkling clean. she takes the monorail back to the apartment in the upper ring with a warm, tingly feeling in her heart and her hands.

ty lee walks into the lounge area where azula is reading a book on global trade sanctions during the yangchen era and mai is fast asleep. “i spied on zuko like you asked,” she says. “he was on a date with that water tribe girl. they were sooooo cute together.” she says that last part loudly and viciously enough to wake up mai, who simply blinks a few times before saying, “barf.” azula tries to hide how disturbed she feels upon hearing this. she knew that zuko was in the city with mother, pretending to be humble actors, she could tell as much from the single performance she had attended (and left during intermission). but befriending the water tribe peasant?? this was too much.

“i see,” she says. “clearly he needs our help.” in truth, she wants her family to come back home. grandfather is getting old, and despite the fact that her mother has been nothing but horrible to her, she still misses her, still wants her mother there for her inevitable coronation. and if she knows one thing to be true in this world, it’s that where zuko goes, ursa is sure to follow.

“he needs more than a little help,” ty lee agrees. “have you seen his hair?? that boy is due for a total makeover.” mai just rolls her eyes. she needs ty lee to stop acting like this. to just say what she really thinks for even one single second. ugh. whatever. she goes back to sleep. but azula does take ty lee’s words to heart. zuko’s hair is the shortest she’s ever seen it. it was already long by the time she was old enough to remember anything clearly. why is his hair short?

katara wakes up the next morning with an official summons from the kyoshi warriors to meet in the palace. she’s very excited. she doesn’t know suki all that well, but she respects her a lot, and is always happy to get to know her brother’s sort of girlfriend a little better. when she walks into the throne room, she sees three kyoshi warriors she doesn’t recognize sitting on the floor. “hey guys,” she says. it’s so hard to keep track of them with their matching facepaint. “where’s suki? isn’t she here with you?” the girl seated in the middle smiles. “suki is indisposed at the moment,” says a familiar, blood-chilling voice. “i’m afraid you’ll have to make do with us for now.” oh no.

katara draws her water, but ty lee has already backflipped behind her and blocked her chi, katara’s now useless weapon pooling around her as she lies helpless on the floor. she is completely defenseless as they throw her into an underground prison only an earthbender could escape from. elsewhere, aang gets a vision.

sokka is about to embark on his first actual mission with his father and prove himself as a warrior when he is interrupted by a bison and his boy. once again, he’s needed elsewhere. toph joins them on the way back. a dai li agent who doesn't trust the sudden regime change shows up at their apartment and informs them that katara is being held in the crystal catacombs under the city. sokka is torn between going with aang to rescue his sister or going with toph to save the earth king. as much as he wants to be there for katara, aang can master the avatar state now (or so he says), so he'll probably be fine on his own.

the avatar has been lured directly into azula's trap, and when he sees that the sheer number of dai li agents fighting alongside her are overpowering katara, aang has no choice but to go into the avatar state, which is when azula strikes. having successfully rescued the earth king (and bosco), sokka and toph fly on appa to meet katara, but it seems they are too late. aang is all but dead, and it is only when katara heals aang with her spirit water that he breathes once more. even then, he is barely conscious.

before they can go meet their dad and the rest of the southern water tribe fleet, katara knows she has one last pitstop to make. as she heads to the lower ring apartment, she pleads with the spirits that they'll be home. she really needs a win today. but when she opens the door to the apartment, the only people there are those horrible girls mai and ty lee.

"you!" she gasps. "what did you do with zuko?" mai looks characteristically bored as she responds. "we didn't do anything, azula came and told him that she killed the avatar, so he decided to go back to the fire nation. they left, like, an hour ago." katara is furious. "but she didn't kill aang! or, well, she did, but aang's– ugh! tell zuko to come back so i can punch him in the face!" mai rolls her eyes, but ty lee can tell that she's amused. "as much as i would like to see that," she says, "that's not in my control. so."

katara really wants to fight them, or anyone, really, but she has just enough sense to remember what happened every single time she's ever gone up against ty lee, so she leaves, slamming the (only recently-fixed) door so hard behind her that it breaks. she returns to appa alone with a silent shake of her head and tears streaming down her face. she spends the next few weeks tirelessly healing aang, pouring all her anger and frustration and and desperation into trying to get his eyes to open once more.

zuko is also on a fire nation ship, but not the one he spent the past few years on. he's finally heading back to the fire nation. now that his mission to capture and/or help the avatar is fruitless, he really has no other choice. looks like fate made that decision before he could. or well, azula did. he's not sure what happened to azula to turn her into a killer. it makes him feel somewhat guilty, for leaving. maybe she could've come with them, instead of being left behind with their scary grandpa. he's not looking forward to seeing azulon. how is he supposed to tell the most powerful man in the world that he disagrees with everything he's ever done in his life?

not to mention mai won't stop bothering him. he suspects azula has something to do with that too. mai keeps talking like the past three years never happened, and they can just pick back up where they left off, but zuko has changed so much lately. but as much as he tries to brush her off, she's always there. so he figures he may as well talk to her. she's hardly dumb, so maybe she can hear him out.

mai cannot stand all of zuko's borderline incoherent, flowery rants about "truth" and "justice." they're all "katara said" this, and "guru laghima said" that, and "then katara was like" oh my god SHUT UP ABOUT KATARA. mai obviously knew that azula and ty lee were lying when they were like, "i overheard zuko talking about how he has a crush on you, mai. you should totally talk to him," but she also knows that if she doesn't find a way to secure her position with him she will never live it down or be able to show her face in front of either of them again. so eventually she just gets fed up listening to him talk about how he and katara are totally, like, twin flames or whatever and just grabs his face and kisses him.

now this is zuko's first kiss (the date with jin never happened because ursa has more tact than iroh), so he kind of just freezes up and stands there, very still, long after it's over and mai has left the room, successful in her mission and once more bored and in need of a task. she lets him know that they're dating now and that he should bring her flowers, and zuko's just like "okay." he doesn't know how to feel about that. his first kiss. it felt... underwhelming? maybe if it had been set to a beautiful score, with better lighting, elaborate costumes... it was a very aesthetically mundane kiss. maybe that was the only the rehearsal though, and when they kiss again next time, it'll more romantic and elaborate.

zuko gets very in his own head about planning the perfect date so that he can stage the perfect (remedial) first kiss with mai. he brings her flowers, naturally. mai says, "thank you for the gift" and then drops them on the ground. zuko's like. "what??? did i bring you the wrong flowers???" he researched the flower symbolism and arrangement ahead of time so as to perfectly express this symbol of early love, developing feelings. mai's like, "oh, no, you did great, but i hate flowers." zuko has no idea what to say to that. she asked him to bring her flowers. mai's like "yeah but that didn't mean i wanted them." zuko asks mai what she does like, so that next time he can bring her that instead. she says, "knives," and then immediately follows up with, "but don't actually bring me knives. you'd be a bad boyfriend if you brought me knives. you're supposed to bring me flowers." zuko doesn't understand why he should go out of the way to bring flowers for someone who'll just throw them on the ground, but mai assures him that this is what good boyfriends do.

he resolutely continues the date he planned, even though it's clear that mai is not actually enjoying any of it. at the restaurant, she takes only the smallest bites of food, eating rice grain by grain. but every time he asks her if she wants to take it back to the kitchen and get something else, she assures him that she likes it and intends to finish it. they take a walk through a park at night, lanterns glimmering over the black water, and mai can't help but comment on what a cliche this romantic moonlit stroll is. zuko's like, "oh.... uh..... i think it's nice...." and mai's like, "of course it's nice. i love it." dessert is eaten on a picnic on a cliffside looking out at the full moon. mai comments on how full the moon is, but in a tone of voice that implies that she's fatshaming it. zuko blithely ignores her comment. once they finish their respective fruit tarts, zuko decides that this is the perfect moment to kiss mai again, this time with him in control so that it won't be all chaotic and boring like mai is. he still feels vaguely underwhelmed by the kiss, but this time he reassures himself that it's because he was kissing something he doesn't really like all that much, and not because the setting and ambiance and mood was off.

mai goes home extremely pleased with herself. if she has to date the crown prince to please azula, her parents, and whoever else gets their sick kicks from enforcing the heteropatriarchy, she'll at least troll everyone in the process.

meanwhile, ursa is adjusting to life back in the palace. zuko keeps remarking that he didn't remember the fire nation palace being so...... big and, like, foreboding. was it always this miserable here? ursa chuckles darkly. "believe it or not, it used to be a whole lot worse." zuko suddenly recalls the stories she told him in a barn in the middle of the night. he understands why she never told azula the truth.

it's weird. azula seems to actively be seeking ursa out, but she can't seem to go five seconds before picking a fight with her. ursa doesn't know how to communicate with azula. she never did. she assumes azula wants affection, but the more affection she shows her, the more azula pushes her away. but when she rises to azula's bait, azula says, "you haven't been here in over three years and now you want to criticize me???" eventually ursa just resigns herself into accepting that all fourteen year old girls are like this with their mothers; god knows she was, and she didn't even have to deal with being royalty.

aang wakes up, slowly but surely, and he isn't happy just spending his days on a fire nation ship. sokka assures him that this is the safest way for them to plan for the invasion, but aang can't take it. he let the world down. again. there's another storm at sea. this time, he washes ashore on a semi-active volcano. they find him, and from then on, they're hiding out in the fire nation until the invasion. they don disguises. aang goes to a fire nation school, and throws his classmates a secret dance party. katara impersonates a spirit and blows up a factory. sokka finds a master and forges a sword. they scam some people, fight some people, plan for the invasion. all pretty on-brand shenanigans.

azula is even more on-edge than usual. if she doesn't orchestrate this invasion counterattack perfectly, who knows what could happen. what matters most is that the avatar is really dead. she finds the perfect assassin to make sure of it. if the avatar is still alive, he won't be for much longer.

meanwhile zuko is so. bored. he thought being back in the fire nation, celebrated as a hero for finally killing the avatar (not that he actually did that, but y'know. everyone seemed to take azula's word for it, and it's not like he can expose her lie) would mean that he got to make more political decisions, but azulon still seems to treat him like he's some naive child. he traveled the world, he slew the avatar (allegedly), he has a goth gf! he's a man!!! but instead of letting him into important war councils, he's sending him off to ember island to go play kuai ball like he's some fucking kid. his only consolation is that azula's forced to go with him too, and she doesn't seem bothered with it, so maybe it's not a big deal.

it still sucks though. not only does zuko have to spend an entire weekend without his mom, but he has to put up with his annoying ass little sister and her annoying ass little friends, one of whom he is apparently dating, even though all she does is make fun of him to his face. no matter what he does there's no winning with her. she only seems remotely happy with him once he finally gets frustrated enough to dump her, but then five seconds later she's like, "okay i forgive you let's get back together," and he's like, "what??" she is dedicating her life to the bit, but he is the world's worst improv partner he is giving her nothing. ty lee wishes she could just sit there and enjoy the show but unfortunately she has to teach azula how to talk like a human. apparently azula spent all her time learning how to talk to generals, and never learned how to flirt with their dumb as bricks hot sons. they return to the capital and zuko goes to ursa and is like, "i don't know why you insisted that it would be good for me to make friends my age, teenagers fucking suck."

azulon finally lets him into a meeting, though not without azula milking those mindgames for all they're worth just to see if zuko's cheeks will puff up and he'll stomp his feet and clench his fists when he yells at her. he's so dramatic, it's hilarious. mai is waiting for him by the door when they file out of the war room. she asks him how the meeting went, and he stares into the distance and mumbles something inarticulate under his breath that sounds very much like a profound soliloquy, just based on like, the cadence and the meter. for all his enthusiasm for theater, zuko clearly never learned how to enunciate, so mai has no idea what he said. she just pulls her cheeks back into a thin-lipped smile and says, "sounds good, zuko."

zuko takes a day trip on his war balloon to the southern fire nation, and more specifically, a certain tea shop he had to beg his mother for the address to. at first, iroh thinks he is hallucinating the ghost of his dead son, or perhaps his dead brother, but then he realizes that it's just been six years since he'd last seen his nephew. he can replace that shattered teapot anyway.

iroh pours zuko tea as zuko tells him about how he spent the past six years. iroh is fascinated to hear of his travels, especially of meeting the avatar and his water tribe companions (and flying bison and lemur). he tells zuko that he's been living a humble life serving his community through teamaking and hosting pai sho game nights. of course, that's not the full truth, since he does receive frequent letters from the order of the white lotus, but zuko doesn't need to know that.

finally, zuko asks iroh what he came all this way to ask: "why don't you want to be firelord? you would have so much power to help people. don't you have a responsibility to use that power?" he could've stayed in ba sing se, safe behind the walls, but he knew it wasn't right. why doesn't his uncle? iroh sighs. "look, prince zuko. this may be difficult for you to understand, but i have caused a lot of harm in my past, and i am ashamed of what i have done. here, i don't have to worry about hurting anyone. tea may be a small joy, but it makes people happy. i would rather spend my life not harming anyone than having all the power in the world, even if it means helping the 'greater good.' this was the way of the air nomads, and i believe that if everyone adopted this practice, the world would be a better place." he places his lotus tile in the center of the board, beating zuko by a hair. with their tea drained and their pai sho game over (5 - 0), zuko hugs iroh goodbye and heads back to his war balloon with the promise to see iroh again soon. there are tears in iroh's eyes as zuko leaves.

the day of black sun is finally upon them, and everyone is prepared to meet their destiny. zuko remembers to scrawl a hasty letter to mai before removing his armor and undoing his topknot. where he's going, he won't need these hollow signifiers. while azula is distracting sokka, aang, and toph, zuko walks into azulon's throne room, swords in hand. he calmly tells his grandfather that he can no longer belong to such a cruel and violent system. there is no changing it from the inside, so he's leaving. oh, and also, he didn't kill the avatar. azula lied about that. he wasn't sure that he was alive until now, but turns out the avatar is part of the invasion force, so good luck with that. azulon is so shocked he actually passes out.

zuko runs to his mother's chambers to let her know of his somewhat sudden change of plan, only he can't find her anywhere. on second thought, he probably should've told her ahead of time. now he has no clue where she is and he needs to leave soon if he wants to follow the avatar. also, it's probably for the best if she stays behind with azula anyway. he leaves a note on her dresser and rushes to his war balloon, right in time to pursue their flying bison.

none of them want to talk about what just happened. the invasion should've gone perfectly, but instead it was a colossal failure. sokka suggests that they still have time to stick to the old plan, teach aang firebending in time for sozin's comet. zuko, who managed to sneak up on them with their backs turned (minus toph), offers his services. before he can even finish waving awkwardly, katara has nearly speared him 20 times, and it's only with aang and sokka holding her arms back that her ice doesn't penetrate his flesh and instead just melts midair and splashes on top of him just someone dropped a freezing bucket on his head, the force of which knocks him over.

zuko slips and slides a little before finally righting himself and repeating his little speech. "i can teach firebending. to you." he tells aang, while trying not to shrivel under the weight of katara's glare. aang's like, "yeah, i don't think that's a good idea. you should probably leave before our muscles give out and we can no longer hold katara back." he takes one look at katara, who is frothing at the mouth ready to rip zuko into a million little pieces, and is like, "yeah okay."

toph tells them that they're being idiots. they need a firebending teacher, but apparently the guy who offers to teach them firebending isn't good enough because he ghosted katara or something? after katara has tired herself out of yelling to toph about all the ways in which he betrayed her, and then sokka tacks on that toph wasn't there, she hasn't actually witnessed zuko's bad vibes firsthand (which conflicts katara because on one hand, she quite likes zuko's vibes, but on the other hand, she wants to murder him), toph calls them blind and stomps away.

zuko is having one of his typical nightmares when he's interrupted by a little green child he only vaguely recognizes. he is not fully lucid upon hearing her, so his instinct, to shoot fire at her, proves to be a disastrous mistake. toph crawls all the way back to camp with burned feet. hurting katara emotionally was one thing (as protective of katara as sokka is, he also recognizes that katara does often set herself up to get hurt emotionally), but hurting toph physically is another. toph assures the furious siblings that she startled zuko, and it was an accident, but to katara it's just fuel for the flames, and to sokka it's the worst thing anyone could do. absolutely no way are they letting that violent clown anywhere near their friends.

then who shows up but combustion man. they can't run from him anymore, not if they want to preserve what's left of the western air temple. zuko runs right up to his face. "my sister hired you, right??? well i can pay you double to stop!!!!" he doesn't listen, for some reason. (maybe it's a matter of pride?) he shoves zuko aside with one extremely large hand. it's like picking up a kitten. it's impossible to fight this guy head-on. but sokka throws his boomerang square in his third eye, which results in him blowing himself up, and zuko too. almost.

aang has no choice but to thank zuko. even though sokka was the one to kill him, hello???? but, it was noble of zuko to attempt to save them. katara is tempted to suggest that it was all staged to make him seem heroic, but then thinks better of it. no one is that insane. he launches into a (far more coherent) speech (now that he's not at risk of developing hypothermia), and gives them the full explanation of why he made the choices he did, and what made him change his mind. zuko then apologizes to toph for burning her feet. he acknowledges the destructive nature of firebending, but that he only wants to use firebending to heal and help people from now on. this promise shifts something in aang. maybe zuko does need to be his firebending teacher.

he asks toph what she thinks, and of course toph is all for it. she knows a sincere apology when she hears one, and besides, zuko seems like an all right guy to her. sokka acquiesces that aang does need a firebending teacher, so he'll do whatever it takes to win the war, even if it means putting up with this absolute schmuck. katara glares at zuko while admitting through gritted teeth that she trusts aang's decision.

sokka shows zuko to his room and zuko is so grateful and happy so sokka tries to be polite, but afterwards he goes to aang and is like "okay it is literally so hard to be nice to that guy." katara shows up in zuko's doorway the second he's done setting up a photo of his mom by his bed and she threatens him so terrifyingly he nearly blacks out. since he hasn't eaten all day, his hunger wins out over his fear of katara and he joins them for dinner, where he finds out that three other people he's never seen before in his life are also staying here?? before he can properly introduce himself, sokka's just like "zuko, meet haru, teo, and the duke. guys, meet zuko, he's the piece of shit i was telling you about who's gonna teach aang firebending." zuko's just like, "...............................hello?"

zuko excuses himself from dinner early. he was already scared of sokka from the moment he met him, and that was before he watched him kill combustion man with a boomerang. now he also has reason to be terrified of katara. he burned their friend's feet. things are still pretty awkward with the avatar. and there are three other teenage boys here too. is it too late to go work in his uncle's teashop and avoid all his responsibilities?

the next day, zuko does some pretty weak firebending demonstrations for aang. frankly, firebending has always been one of his weakest skills. aang claps politely, but zuko feels like a fool. but then he remembers something iroh said during his visit, that everything he learned about true firebending could be found at the sun warriors' temple. aang's like, "aren't they all gone?" but zuko just shrugs. he trusts uncle iroh.

katara accuses zuko of wanting to take aang to secondary location so that he can drug and kill and possibly torture and even eat him, but aang's like, "no, katara, zuko is many things, but he's not a liar. plus i'm pretty sure i can take him lol i mean look at how skinny he is a gust of wind could knock him over." this gets katara to smile. "you're right, aang," she agrees, "i trust you." zuko is just standing there like, "okay well first of all that was really rude. also i'm not a cannibal??"

they come back a few days later with a fire nation dance locked and loaded. katara and sokka have a lot to say about it, but eventually zuko relaxes upon realizing that them gently homophobically bullying him is actually far preferable to them talking about how they would murder him. with aang now fully onboard the zuko train, it's easier for everyone else to integrate him into the group. toph, teo, haru, and the duke (not that zuko actually remembers any of their names) all treat him like he's any other friend, katara limits her dislike to mean jokes at his expense, and sokka is pretty quiet and withdrawn in general.

one night, sokka pulls zuko aside. zuko tries to mask his terror as he oh so casually asks, "so what's up?" sokka asks him where high ranking prisoners of war would be held, and zuko is forced to tell him once sokka admits that he wants to know about his dad. of course he's also aware that this means that sokka will not rest until he has found his father, so zuko ambushes him as he attempts to sneak off. sokka's like, "look, no offense, but even if i did let you come, you'd only slow me down. i don't need some useless imbecile getting me caught." zuko's like, "okay, well, offense taken, also you need a firebender to operate a war balloon and that's your only viable mode of transportation." sokka points out that actually that isn't true, he did quite literally invent the mechanism that allows war balloons to fly, and zuko's just like, "oh my god what the fuck nooooo" and "how is that even possible????" but then he says, "if you don't let me help you i'll literally kill myself right now and then you'll have to explain to aang why his new firebending teacher is dead. my blood will be on your hands." he's fully bluffing, but sokka isn't willing to take his chances (mostly because killing himself just to spite someone else has always lowkey been his fantasy). sokka is like, "well your blood will be on my hands either way but whatever it's your funeral" and zuko's like, "what?" and sokka's like "what?" and off they go.

they return with suki, hakoda, and chit sang, sokka now of the opinion that zuko is somewhat tolerable. what he lacks in brains he makes up for in bravery and extreme sincerity. azula shows up to the temple a while later with a crazed look in her eye that does not bode well. zuko, mai, and ty lee all betrayed her. her mother has disappeared god knows where. azulon's health is failing but it's clear he doesn't want her to succeed him now that he knows she lied to him to bring zuko back. he keeps asking for iroh. azula doesn't know what to do. all she can hope for is that if she kills the avatar and zuko for good then maybe grandfather will be able to forgive her before he dies. of course it can never be that easy.

the gaang celebrates another near escape, but katara sees nothing to celebrate. even sokka accepts zuko now. how is he of all people not on her side about this?! zuko goes to confront katara. he doesn't understand why she won't just trust him. she reminds him that she was the first person to trust him, to offer him a spot in their group. and he abandoned her, betrayed her trust. he asks what he can do to make it up to her. she snarls, "oh, i don't know, maybe you can bring my mother back!"

zuko doesn't really know what to do with that, since she told him what happened to her mother. zuko barges into sokka's tent without a second thought and asks him what the flag emblem on the ships that raided them that day looked like. sokka tells him, as quickly as possible, so that he'll leave him the fuck alone. zuko waits outside katara's tent all night to share this information with her. they go track yon rha down, despite aang and sokka's concerns.

katara returns with a newfound understanding of herself, of her own humanity. of how to let go of the stories she told herself to survive, and instead better appreciate what's real, even when it's not pretty. she understands zuko better now too. she hugs him, and from that moment onwards, they are best friends.

they travel to ember island, where they spend their remaining days until sozin's comet. from his deathbed, azulon tells his granddaughter that she can't be trusted with the plan – her plan – to burn the earth kingdom to the ground. instead he'll send a delegation of generals on their airship fleet. he wants to keep her close, in the palace, where he won't have to worry about her screwing things up. guards follow her everywhere. no matter what she does or where she goes, she knows there are eyes on her, watching for any signs of further betrayal. she's a glorified prisoner, having to pretend she doesn't notice. needless to say, this situation is terrible for her already rapidly declining mental health.

informed of the plan to raze the earth kingdom, aang isn't sure what to do. zuko reminds him that azulon is in his final years, but azula is next in line to take the throne. aang isn't sure what's worse, having to kill an old man or a teenager. zuko reminds aang that this "old man" is responsible for the decimation of the southern water tribe and occupation of the earth kingdom. aang doesn't like being talked down to as if he doesn't already know that, so he leaves the room. he needs to be alone, to meditate and reflect on what impossible choice he must make next.

the next morning, aang is missing. they can't find him anywhere; they even search the entire island, but despite the fact that his glider is still in the house, he's gone. zuko takes them to june the bounty hunter to track him down, but she informs them that he's disappeared. for all intents and purposes, he doesn't exist. zuko refuses to lose hope. he gives june his mother's shawl. sokka's like "you just take that with you.... everywhere you go?" but katara and toph are like "awww no it's sweet shut up." she leads them just outside the outer wall of ba sing se.

they make camp there for the night, but are awoken by four old masters. they lead them inside the white lotus camp grounds, where it turns out that iroh, ursa, and about an eighth of zuko's former crew have been living since the day of black sun. as it turns out, ursa received a letter from iroh after zuko visited him, cryptically instructing her to meet him on the outer wall of ba sing se on the day of the invasion. zuko asks his mom why she didn't take him or azula with her, but ursa admits that she didn't know where they were and she didn't have time to find them. she could only hope they would remain safe in her absence.

katara is shocked. "you've been a member of the white lotus the entire time???" she asks ursa. she informs her that actually, she just joined in an official capacity. she kept regular correspondence with iroh, but she wasn't herself a member. then he invited her to participate in their mission to take back ba sing se for the earth kingdom. ursa has vital information on the city that was integral to their plans, being the only member of the organization who's actually lived there and all. besides, they could use another firebender, especially if they plan on striking during sozin's comet.

zuko is, of course, overjoyed to see his mother again, but he admits that he's worried about azula. they've left her behind in the palace once again, but this time she doesn't have mai and ty lee to rely on, and she's fallen out of their grandfather's good graces. they devise a plan. sokka, suki, and toph will take down the airship fleet, while zuko and katara go to the palace. they have to be careful. the palace is filled with guards, and they don't want to fight any more people than they have to. they find azula, sitting alone in her room with scissors in her hand and clumps of hair on the floor.

"what are you doing?" zuko asks. "is it not obvious?" azula retorts. "i'm giving myself a royal haircut. i have to look good for my coronation after all. any day now, grandfather will take his last breath, and i will become firelord. it's a shame that it has to happen after sozin's comet, since i would have done an excellent job of burning the earth kingdom to the ground, but no matter, i'm sure the generals will do a fine job as well. grandfather wants me by his side in his final days, you see. i find the sentiment a bit maudlin, but he is dying, so i can forgive him this." her words are slightly slurred as she rambles.

zuko merely scoffs. "you're not going to become firelord," he says. azula laughs, high and manic. "oh, you think you're going to become firelord? after you disgraced our nation by joining the avatar? you're hilarious." katara readies her water. "and you're going down," she snaps back. they get into fighting stances, but zuko puts his hand out. "wait, no," he says. "i don't wanna be firelord." all the fight is knocked out of azula out of sheer surprise. "but didn't you always say it was your destiny?" she asked. "i spent our whole lives trying to convince you not to be firelord and suddenly... you agree?" zuko nods. "yeah pretty much."

but suddenly another problem presents itself. who will take the throne? katara suggests ursa, but azula shakes her head. "she would never agree to it. she hates it here." same goes for iroh. "what about you?" zuko asks. "could you do it?" katara laughs. then she realizes he's serious. then she laughs even harder. "or sokka? sokka could be good." katara's like, "i know, let's get momo to be firelord. we can make him a little cape and crown." she's obviously being sarcastic, but zuko, who adores momo, puts his hand on his heart as he says, "i can think of no one worthier." meanwhile azula's like, "who the hell is momo?"

they explain to azula that momo is their pet flying lemur, and azula's just like, "you know what? fuck it. that's hilarious. i don't even care anymore. life's just a waste of time until you die anyway, right? so what the hell." katara and zuko exchange a look. gently, zuko asks, "um.... azula? do you wanna talk about it?"

by the time everyone else gets back to the palace (sokka with a broken leg, but everyone else relatively unscathed), zuko and katara are just like, "oh, good, you're all alive. and on our end, azula is taking a nap. yeah she cried so hard she eventually passed out. but now she's sleeping soundly :)"

ursa goes to check on azula, who is curled up in bed with her hair in a braid and a cup of half-finished tea on her bedside table. she decides not to disturb her daughter while she's resting. whatever conversation they should have can wait for tomorrow. then she goes to azulon's room, where he's slowly dying. she decides to speed up the process. meanwhile, zuko and katara inform their friends that they've decided that they're going to crown momo as the next firelord. aang, sokka, toph, and suki are all ecstatic. this the best possible outcome. (the only objector is appa, who maintains that he would do a better job, but his roar of indignation sounds a lot like his roar of agreement, so everyone just assumes that he's happy for his friend's new promotion.)

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