#it’s so funny that they’re british | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

presidentofthelipglossclub · 6 months

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no bc deadass the rescue bots are straight up mean as hell. like, they arent evil or immoral they’re just rude. to the point where they’re meaner than the decepticons ok like megatron kept avoiding actually gettind rid of starscream despite the constant murder attempts but heatwave was willing to get rid of two of the other bots (blades after he abandoned a rescue bc of an avalanche and blurr bc blurr). heatwave is more ruthless than megatron which is so damn funny. blades keeps insulting people for no good reason (sometimes it makes sense but like quickshadow’s accent and how she talks made him so upset). chase is harder to see but he’s willing to do anything to follow the rules and he tends to repeatedly bring up other people’s issues (i dont think i have to explain but like example is little white lies. that whole episode). boulder is very sweet most of the time but the instant heatwave gets in on it he does too. multiple times in the show this has happened (off the top of my head when blades got the scoop claw hw and boulder were laughing at him and when hw made fun of blades boulder laughed, also heatwave was saying blurr was super annoying and boulder agreed).

to be clear this is a good thing. i wanna see more complex characters who are still fundamentally good people!! you can be callous, have low empathy, be egotistical, get angry, make fun of ur friends and still make good choices and still help people. you at your worst and you at your best are still both you, but your worst being bad doesn’t mean your best isn’t good. especially because morality wise the rescue bots are the best people. i mean, they aren’t war criminals (or regular criminals), they don’t physically harm others, they don’t put others at risk (at least not intentionally), and they literally had to pretend to be actual machines while risking their lives every day. these people who treated them as essentially slaves were who they had to protect. and they did it, over and over again, without hesitation. and i think they deserve to be a bit rude for that, and because their meanness comes from caring. if they didn’t care they wouldn’t bother to speak up and be heard, even if it’s in a disrespectful way. but they do.

anyways idk rescue bots brainrot and the concept of a fundamentally good society have been eating away at me.

#they love everybody so much that they snap so often #heatwave cares about his team. when he says someone needs to go its a big deal #because he cares about that member but he also cares about the rest of his team #one wrong move and they’re dead. it’s life or death every day #he doesnt want to invite the day where death will be the winner #blades getting so pissed and confused by quickshadow’s accent and speech was so damn funny tho #i too am confused and pissed by the british #boulder being the nicest kindest most gentle bot immediately going away when heatwave decides to be petty is always delightful #“hmm this person is doing something funny/wrong/objectively dumb but everyone makes mista— oh? heatwave is making fun of them? count me in!#homosexual behaviour #heatwave makes people worse <3 #chase bringing up the oldest shit to make a dig at someone is so silly #you make one mistake and years later he’s still bringing it up #looking at my tags as i write them and hw’s are so serious and everyone else’s are like “lmao silly little guy says silly little things”#rescue bots #tfrb #tfrb heatwave #tfrb boulder #tfrb blades #tfrb chase #transformers rescue bots #transformers

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chibi-scone · 4 months

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So that new Rhys Darby interview about s3 ….💀

#SO FUNNY #straight up saying that stede would be unhappy with the inn and leave Ed’s ass to go back to the crew ….y’all were so back #that the inn is a fantasy not meant to last and the British would be after their ass #like Ik djenks already said that the inn wouldn’t last but #put next to him also saying. that the inn is meant to be a happy ending + taika saying Ed and stedes ending is good #and he wants to leave it there #girl …..#just genuinely so funny #that s3 could go full historically accurate and kill both of them at the end #like I don’t even care anymore dude just do it #after how shitty their fans made us feel for being upset about Izzy #I would feel so fucking vindicated #no guys don’t you get it it’s a good ending for them :)) and it’s not bad gay rep to kill your main gay couple #because there’s other queer couples in the show!! stop crying you media illiterate babies they’re pirates pirates die :)))#I can taste it already #this is gonna be tbd cause wtv I just wanted to shoot the shit a little about it uh yeah #ofmd critical #honestly if they kill Ed and stede at the end of s3 that might just be what gets me back into the show a little #like I don’t really want to rewatch the show at this point but if it all goes down the gutter in the end ?#that’s different #it’s like ordering food and being served mouldy garbage vs willingly jumping into a dumpster #everytime a new interview or smtg comes out I’m like 🫣#it’s reaching spn levels of ‘what now’

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princessanneftw · 2 years

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🐧 Princess Anne and Sir Tim Laurence meeting some penguins during a visit to the Penguin Enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo on 3 June 2022

#why are these so funny #the first one #’hello and what do you do?’#lmao #the last one #idk why but they’re cracking me up #the most random but glorious jubilee engagement so far #princess anne #princess royal #tim laurence #timothy laurence #anne does stuff #platinum jubilee #british royal family #brf

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pebblezone · 1 year

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Living life yay huzzah yay

#a #I have beef with my school. am I happy here? absolutely. do I think we are beyond lame for not having an actual guy? 100%#letters don’t count!!!!!!!! having a capital letter for your school doesn’t count!!!!!!!!!!#like it’s not even a complete absence of a team no just like a silly little physical guy than runs across the field #and can be all cute on stuff on shirts and be stuffed animals it’s the marketing potential they’re missing out on #though I guess I’d rather have no physical dude than one which sucks complete ass I’m talking about pen state fuck that guy #I need to watch the gnomes again wait oh my fucking god I was thinking like damn I did the gnomeo juliet ace attorney moment #but my brain is knee deep in hellsing so idk how to connect them but bruh every piece of media has some form of rivals #I’m not emotionally invested in andercard but the idea of Catholic and Protestant gnomes is really funny #and they’re already British!! lovely!!! at some point in college I need to use gnomes for a grade I can’t let that be a high school only bit #did you know that gnomeo and Juliet is technically owned by Disney? add that to your marvel cinematic universe #oh gnomeo and Juliet poster we’re really in it now #did you know that the version of hello hello that’s in the movie featuring lady Gaga is not on streaming services? they take lady Gaga out #it’s really unfortunate the echos and duet aspect make the song it’s not just one or the other it’s Two Gnomes!!#have two exam grades back that I have not looked at out of fear #either they’ll be bad and I’ll watch hellsing to make myself feel better Or they’ll be good and I’ll watch hellsing as a reward #unrelated but it looks like a gutter on the other side of my dorm got busted and I’m trying to figure out if it’s always been like that #maybe it has and I’m not a gutter glorifier like I thought I was…. rip observational skills #I have a group project I have to work on and it’s evil I do not enjoy the class and it’s not very lgbt slay girlboss of me #but god dammit I am not filling out a fucking gender unicorn for your class that’s between me and my tumblr drafts from 2019 #it gets a credit out of the way and I never have to take it again I am so strong #man what does it say about society that I’m more excited about Econ than wgs (it says nothing the Econ professor is just goofy and fun)#(also he does more than read off of slides and show those like buzzfeed social experiments)#but none of that is important since next week is when things get fucked and I’ll end up with more free time! yay strikes!!#update: made it back from project zone those fuckers held me hostage using social norms #it’s okay though I’m sooo strong and brave #talkingcore

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sleevebuscemii · 1 year

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look i don’t believe in white people but robert pattinson and suki waterhouse dating is like. i can’t believe this didn’t happen sooner?? like i dont even mean that in a ‘i think they’re cute’ way at all they just seem like two people that by all means should’ve dated in like. 2015. but somehow they just got around to doing it now

#they just seem like such an obvious couple?? like of course they’re dating what do u mean they haven’t been dating this whole time???#i just associate them so much with the same circles #they’re both british #idk #its so funny to me #i feel like a matchmaker who helped someone find their soulmate even tho i literally didn’t do anything #i just have a genuine but apparently fake memory of them having dated before #m

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 2 years

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Sea, I hope you don’t mind me coming to blurb my semi-incoherent thoughts about this Zouis post! Admittedly I’ve been thinking about this far too much today, but it’s just sort of funny - what are they up to?! To me, it doesn’t really make sense that Zayn was feeling all nostalgic and so randomly posts 1D content for the first time in years… I’ve been wondering whether it’s shade at a certain other member (and the night before he begins his tour….*chefs kiss Zayn if so*…and Louis liking it!! Well done my little love, nicely done!)

I’ve long thought that Harry was quite clearly the one who instigated the “hiatus”, he clearly had arranged people around him ready to build/buy him the career he currently has. Yet he’s somehow managed to almost make it seem as if “wow, shucks, lucky me, can’t quite believe it, this was never my plan”, and a huge chunk of 1D fans have been filtered into solo Harry fans (/Larries) quite neatly. How can they not see that there was never a plan (from Harry at least) for it to be a temporary break (and that Sun article I think had it on the nose that the only way they’d all come back was if Harry wasn’t successful).

Zayn however has always been the outlier, Liam, Louis and Niall I think have all been questioned on a reunion, and have said they’d be keen (although I’m not convinced that’s their true feelings). Somehow Harry has avoided that, because there’s no way he would say “oh yes, I’d do a reunion”, but equally he can’t admit that. But with Zayn’s little post….I don’t for a second think he’d be keen for a reunion….but do I think it perhaps holds Harry’s feet to the fire…

I don’t know, I’m not sure I’m convincing myself on this, but there’s such a part of me hoping this is just shade at Harry and that Louis is living his best life in the Mexican sun smirking as he hits that like button!

It’s all very deniable, I suppose, but also seems pointed as an inside joke? Like, Zayn’s iconic 1D high note out of nowhere?

Also this is very on point for Zouis’ sense of humor, which is very, very funny.

#zouis #one direction #I’m shaking my head #how can I be a simp for #2 British men so hard #but they’re actually so funny

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mirrren · 7 months

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British people don’t use “mississippi” to count in between seconds wait that’s actually so sick and twisted

#britain #england #meme #mississippi #american culture #british culture #cultural differences #funny #1 Mississippi 2 Mississippi 3 Mississippi #Instead they count 1 skallywag flibbity gibbit #I mean they’re already so bad at counting they probably don’t even need a word in between they’re just that slow #slow in a literal sense not to jest at their brain capabilities

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craptastico · 7 months

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i’m thinking about. the magic system in the simon snow series again.

#IT’S SO INTERESTING #GO READ THOSE BOOKS NOW #like legit i gotta braindump now #so it’s linguistics based #and the power behind the words comes from how often people use them #but not mages so they need the normals functioning at maximum socialization #because otherwise their spells are weaker #and they use all kinds of phrases so like #clean as a whistle is one #but song lyrics and nursery rhymes #even memes and slang have power if they’re used enough #AND THIS IS WHAT REALLY EXCITES ME #ITS REGIONAL #SO AMERICAN WORDS NEED CAST IN AMERICA AND BRITISH WORDS WONT WORK #and it is SO funny in these books when that comes into play #like our perfectionist great mages are having the WORST TIME #because they can’t figure out they’re not in Britain and british words won’t work #ALSO ALSO #this is something that doesn’t come up in the first and last books bc there’s not enough unoccupied land in britain #but there’s dead spots #if there aren’t enough people to say the words there is no power and no magic #so the second book is probably my favorite because it really explores that system #but anyway go read the simon snow series its actually really good #like so good #simon snow #carry on

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book-tease · 1 year

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i love unexplainable messages british dudes in early 2000s media. not always the actual characters themselves, but i just love that they’re there

#mia rambles #most of them are dicks who are supposed to be hot but like #it’s so funny how that was such a trend #it’s so funny they’re just there and british #usually absolutely no explanation as to why they’re there

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rileyslibrary · 10 months

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Penny for your thoughts

Synopsis: You’ve recently been transferred to a UK base and struggle with British currency. Your lieutenant is mortified—and rightfully so.

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1,286 (approx. 5-6 mins reading time)

Notes:

I thought it was funny when I wrote it, okay? It’s a crackfic. There’s some teasing and playful banter in there, but I can’t label it as fluff.

Warnings: Profanity. Lots of it.

More A/N at the end.

———————————————————————

You’ve been trying to escape the lieutenant’s grip for the past two hours.

The upcoming mission requires close combat skills, he said. You’ll need to infiltrate a facility with minimum weapons and immobilise—but not kill—the targets for interrogation.

You admitted to him that you hadn’t practised in a long time and your combat skills were a little rusty. But Ghost assured you this wouldn’t be a problem and offered a refresher course in ground fighting and submission techniques.

You never imagined this would be an issue when you agreed to it. On the contrary, your lieutenant was an expert in combat, and training with him could be considered a masterclass.

Looking at it now, with your cheek pressed against the floor and your body twisted like a nautical knot, you wish you could take it back.

The mats have become your second skin. Ghost relentlessly pins you to the ground and immobilises your limbs while explaining the mechanics behind each hold. Sometimes you wonder why he gets into so much detail since you can’t hear shit and are practically knocked out.

Yet, he doesn’t give up on you. He advises you to feel the weight shift, urging you to exploit the slightest openings, encouraging you to break free. Whenever he sees you’re struggling or senses you’re uncertain, he taps your hand or leg, giving you clues to help you.

He immobilises you once more, but he pats your back this time.

“Alright,” he says, standing up, “that’s enough for today.”

He walks to the bench, picks up his towel, and pats his neck. You roll on your back and spread your arms.

“I feel like a pretzel.” You whisper.

“Yup,” he confirms, “that’s Jiu-Jitsu for ya.”

Drenched in sweat, you push yourself off the ground and slowly walk to your bag. You extract your towel and begin rummaging through your wallet to find spare coins for a water bottle. You manage to find one pound, but unfortunately, you fall short.

“Lt.?” You call out.

He turns halfway to give you his attention while tugging the velcro straps from his gloves.

“Do you have fifty pennises?”

He stops midway and lets go of the velcro strap. It can wait. His eyes have formed two thin lines, and his eyebrows almost touch each other.

“Do I have fifty what, soldier?”

“I need fifty pennises.” You reply, this time louder, “Do you have fifty pennises?”

His eyes have changed. They’re not squinting anymore. They are bulging. He frantically looks left and right, bringing his index finger to his mouth.

“Shhhh!” He whispers and runs towards you, waving his other hand in front of your face. “Shut your mouth!”

He closes the distance between you and looks behind him.

“What is wrong with you?” He whispers.

You raise your eyebrows and blink rapidly.

“No,” you reply, “what is wrong with you?”

He lets out a sigh and looks at his surroundings once again. He scratches the side of his chin and clasps his hands in prayer.

“Tell me exactly what you want,” he requests more calmly this time, almost begging you, “Make a sentence out of it.”

“I’m thirsty.” You explain.

“Obviously.”

He’s starting to get on your nerves. You open your palm and raise it to his eye level.

“Look,” you order and point at the coin, “I have one pound.”

“I can see that.” He replies and puts his hand on yours, pushing it down so he can look at you.

“The vending machine needs one pound and a half.”

“Say it.” He commands and swallows hard, “The vending machine needs one pound and fifty...”

You clench your jaw and look at him dead in the eyes.

“Pennises.”

He lets out a snort and clasps his hand at the bridge of his nose. He turns his back to you and takes a few steps away. His shoulders move up and down.

“Ah, soldier,” he replies, still looking the other way. “that’s a lot of pennises.”

You run a hand through your hair and sigh.

“I know my pronunciation is probably wrong,” you state and shut your eyes, “but I need them.”

“Don’t say that,” he says between gasps, “you don’t need that many.”

With your eyes still closed, you start babbling about how wrong he is and how you wish you had a million of them so you could escape this hellhole and retire on an island. He squats to the ground and covers his masked face with his hands.

He sounds like he’s whimpering. You might have assumed he was sobbing if you hadn’t known the cause of his stance. But you knew why he was half crying, half laughing. It sounded hideous. It was hideous. You just can’t remember the word.

What’s it called, what’s it called...

You open your eyes. Ghost is walking towards you, wiping away tears from his eyes. He retrieves a fist of coins from his pocket and, muttering something under his breath, chooses two. He pinches a silver hexagonal-shaped coin with his fingers and shows it to you.

“This,” he says, “is fifty pence, or 50p.”

“Pence or p.” You repeat.

“That’s right.” He confirms and pinches a smaller coin with his other hand. “Now, this little one is a penny. Fifty of these are called fifty pennies.”

“Pennies,” you echo and slap your thighs, “See? Was it that hard to explain?”

“Oh yes,” he replies and nods slowly, “yes, it was that fucking hard.”

You lift your palm. “Can I have the big one?” You ask.

“Say it first.” He commands you.

You roll your eyes. “Can I have the 50p, Lt.?”

“Of course, you may have the 50p.” He says and places the coin in your hand, “What you absolutely may not have is fifty….” He stops and lets a repressed chuckle out.

You press your lips together and bite your cheek to not respond to his teasing. But you can’t.

“…pennises, I presume?” You sneer.

“Yeah, no.” He says and vigorously shakes his head, “You don’t want that.”

You wince and rub the back of your neck. Ghost tries to comfort you, telling you it’s ok and you shouldn’t feel bad, but he doesn’t believe it himself. He’s smiling beneath that mask; you can tell by how the grimace alters his voice. You thank him for the coin and walk to the vending machine.

“Soldier,” he calls out, “how many times have you said that word since you came to the UK?”

You tilt your head and try to recall.

“I can’t remember.” You conclude.

“You can’t remember if you ever said it, or there were so many occasions that you can’t count them?” He asks with a trembling voice.

“No, Lt.,” you reply, defeated, “I don’t remember asking another person for that.”

He looks relieved. He lets out a long exhale and rubs his masked face with his palms.

“I never thought I’d ever say this,” he says, “but I’m glad I was the first one.”

———————————————————————

A/N: I wrote this in March, along with this story (yes, they’re very similar). Although I liked the idea and thought it was funny, I initially discarded it because it felt stupid, and chose to post the other one (not like the other one is pure genius). It remains as such, but as I said, it’s a crackfic. I’m not researching how to improve human welfare.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x gn!reader #simon ghost riley x y/n #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley fic #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x y/n #simon riley #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #ghost cod #ghost cod mw2 #cod ghost #ghost cod mwii #ghost call of duty

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legally-a-bastard · 2 years

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man this is why I don’t like talking to dream stans. you call their Lord And Savior a generic white boy once and suddenly they act like you’ve just set an animal shelter on fire. what

#i mean to be honest this is super fucking funny though #like. i have never seen anyone get so defensive so quick over something that wouldn’t have even been a problem #before they made it one #like. damn I get it your taste in men sucks and has less variety than the flavors of British cooking #also I apparently need to be poc to call someone a generic white boy #methinks that I’d know just as well what a generic white boy looks like regardless if I’m a poc or not. cause. they’re everywhere #everyone knows at least 5 generic white boys #just like everyone knows at least 5 generic white girls

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susiephone · 1 year

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wtf is dracula daily?

i’ve seen a couple people ask this question on my posts about it, so i thought i’d go ahead and clear it up here!

ok so, the classic horror novel “dracula” is an epistolary novel - that means it’s told via letters, diary entries, ship logs, and news articles. (technically the term “epistolary novel” refers to works told solely through letters or emails, but many have expanded it to mean any work that is told via in-universe documents, hence why diaries and logs often get included as well. “frankenstein” is another classic example; the whole framing device is robert walton is recounting the story he heard from victor to his sister via letter. a modern example would be “several people are typing,” which is told via slack messages, or “the perks of being a wallflower,” which is told via letters from charlie to his anonymous pen pal, which is functionally more like you’re reading his diary.)

because of the nature of the narrative, we actually know the exact day nearly everything in dracula happens - the letters, news articles, diary entries, etc. are all dated.

“dracula daily” is a substack project where the novel is broken up into parts, with people who are subscribed to the project getting emails every day something in dracula happens - for example, the novel opens with jonathan harker’s journal entry on may 3, so on may 3, subscribers are emailed that entry. the action of dracula takes place from may 3 - november 6, plus an epilogue set some years later. the project started in 2021 (i think), but fucking BLEW UP in 2022, and they’re doing it again this year! lots of us are very excited - especially people like me who fell behind last time.

why not just read the book?

valid! due to some parts of dracula being told out of chronological order, dracula daily does reorder some things. for example, the first section of dracula is told entirely from jonathan harker’s pov, then the second section switches the pov to mina murray. their sections have some overlap in the timeline, so dracula daily jumps back and forth between their perspectives.

if you want to read the book as bram stoker intended, dracula daily may not be for you. but for a lot of people (myself included!), it breaks up a very long text into easily digestible chunks (....mostly. there is one entry that is 10k words), and the fact that it’s a big project means there are a lot of people reading along with you.

i think there’s also something valuable about experience the slow revelation of wtf is going on along with the characters. the book which you might otherwise get through in a few days is stretched out into months of suspense and agony as you wait for the other shoe to drop, and it’s great.

plus, the whiplash between “jonathan harker’s neverending horror” vs “lucy is basically on the bachelorette” that you get in dracula daily is very very funny.

how do i sign up?

right here! and if you sign up and fall behind in the emails, no worries - the dracula daily website posts past entries so you can catch up.

what if i prefer audiobooks?

have i got great news for you!

like i mentioned before, i couldn’t keep up with the emails last year. part of it is that it is much easier for me to focus on an audiobook or keep up with a podcast than it is for me to sit down and read, especially with longer entries.

this year, there is going to be a podcast titled “re: dracula” that was inspired by dracula daily. every episode will be a dracula daily entry, with a full voice cast! (seriously, if you listen to british podcasts, you will recognize some of these names. the magnus archives and wooden overcoats girlies are WINNING.) you can find that here.

there is also a podcast called “cryptic canticles” that has an already-completed audiodrama of dracula that i’m told is also extremely good, and was also broken up by date. you can find that here.

why do i keep hearing about paprika/the boyfriend squad/lizard fashion/cowboys?

you’ll see.

oh god am i gonna hear about this nerd shit for the rest of the year

yes. sorry.

#dracula #dracula daily #re: dracula #cryptic canticles

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tteokdoroki · 7 months

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☆༉ — MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. when you call, my heart answers.

about. megumi always picks up when you call, no matter where he might be — since his heart is always longing for you.

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! sfw, fluff, college au, megumi is a simp n super soft, i mention a British snack (white chocolate buttons), sort of air-headed reader, selfship coded!! gn!reader.

megumi always picks up the phone when you call him, no matter where he is. even if he’s with the guys and they’re teasing him when your contact flashes across his screen (emoticons, glitter symbols and all), megumi answers.

he glares daggers at his friends, drawing a line with his thumb across the neck in a menacing gesture but speaks to you with the softest voice. “you called, baby?”

“hi ‘gumi, was wonderin’ if you could get some milk on the way home. i just got in and i tootally forgot.” your voice is chipper across the line, sweet as if it’s been dipped in powdered sugar that gives megumi some kind of energetic high.

“yeah, okay. i can do that baby.” he smiles to himself, blocking out the sounds of his rowdy friends by covering his free ear — wanting to focus entirely on you. “anything else you need?”

“mnah, i think we’re good.” you’re probably preoccupied with another task, either doing your nightly routine (which makes fushiguro pout because he loves to help you with your skincare) or rummaging about in your shared kitchen for a snack. if it’s the snack you’re after, he chooses to wait on the other end of the line. “wait actually, can you grab me some of those chocolates i like too. the white chocolate thingies.”

and there it is. he knows you like no other.

“buttons, baby. i gotcha.” it’s almost funny, how megumi finds himself clinging onto the last moments of your phone call, desperately grasping onto the wispy notes of your honeysuckle voice. it’s funny how when you call, he comes running like a man fallen victim to a siren song. just hearing you speak puts megumi at ease, makes him yearn for you, love you a little more. “be good, lock the doors so you can keep safe for me. okay?”

“‘kay! bye ‘gumi, love you!” the words rush out of your mouth and shoot a Cupid’s arrow straight through megumi’s heart. but then you pause as if you’ve forgotten something, whispering down the line. “be safe as well. i miss you.”

he chuckles again, still fending off his friends but manages to find answer with. “i miss you.” right back.

#megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi x reader #megumi fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #megumi x you #anyways….#✧ ₊˚੭ — writing #tteokdoroki #✧ ₊˚💭੭ — aali just posted #angelshubnetwork

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wintergreenoreo · 1 month

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I saw a take on Twitter so bad i needed to put my foot down and make this 😤:

Explanations under cut.

Oscar is a Mark/Fernando spawn: Oscar was a FA Kart kid and was mentored by him when they were in purgatory (Alpine). Mark was with him his entire karting career and is currently his manager. Fernando and Mark are literally husbands. Enough said.

Carlos is a Fernando spawn: Pretty common knowledge.

Stoffel is a Fernando/Jenson spawn: Was the bundle of sunshine that Fernando and Jenson carried around when they were going through the trenches (McHonda).

Logan is a Jenson adoptee: Jenson literally said “if you need a shoulder to cry on i’ll be here” like a dad consoling his son after a bad football game.

Lando is a Fernando/Lewis spawn: Ok this one has potential to be funny as hell. Dysfunctional family. Fernando and Lewis divorced but still try to take turns with Lando. Lando prefers Nando because he lets him do whatever he wants and Lewis thinks Fernando is bad influence on him. Fernando doesn’t care. Also Lando got into F1 because of 2007 so 😬.

George is a Lewis/Nico spawn: British and also exhibits the exotic cuntiness of a high class wine auntie. Literally best of both worlds.

Charles is a Lewis/Seb spawn: Sebastian’s pride and joy. Little golden sunshine. Seb and Lewis are literally husbands. Lewis is the dad that stepped up for Charles when Seb retired. Now since they’re gonna be teammates it’ll be much easier 😌.

Mick is a Seb adoptee: It is Seb’s duty to protect his hero’s little lion cub. Most dad shaped when it comes to Mick.

Had to get this off my chest 😮‍💨

#f1 #fernando alonso #mark webber #jenson button #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #sebastian vettel #lando norris #carlos sainz #charles leclerc #logan sargeant #stoffel vandoorne #mick schumacher #george russell #oscar piastri

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python333 · 8 months

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im in love with your content omg😭 your writing style is just chefs kiss

can i req a reader with the tf141 being on a mission and hearing an enemy say something in british slang and they just go "what did they just say.." in comms? like a reader who doesnt know anything about slang like not even that bars in the uk r called pubs (if im not wrong) and just nods whenever a private talks in slang, and their brain is just trying to figure out what they just said?

its just a really silly plot with a silly reader :3

pardon? — python333

— — — —

synopsis just as the req says, you know nothing about british slang and on a mission the enemy speaks british and you dont know what theyre saying :3

relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & reader.

characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.

word count 2.6k

warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note HI YES I LOVE THIS REQ!! i take every opportunity i can to make fun of british people so this is right up my alley!! tysm for the compliments hjfhdjskf recently ive been getting more praise on my works and it makes me so happy i love yall. again, sorry if this sounds a little rushed or if any parts are incoherent, i wrote this at 12/1am and im both more productive and write more nonsense at this time + this one is wayyyy shorter than ones i usually do because i didnt know what else to write for it so i apologize for that as well! this is pure fluff and humor (i like to think im funny) so enjoy!!

“—eah, and now we have to camp out here ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do it ‘imself, so I feel like we should have a chat with the others, see if they’re willing to leg it out of here with us,” An enemy soldier suggests to you, his British accent thick enough that you think it might be cockney.

You cross your arms to hide your shaking hands and nod in agreement, as if you understood anything he said, and put on the same shitty British accent you’d been using for the past five minutes you’d been talking to this guy.

“Yeah, yeah, totally,” You agree, clearing your throat before asking, “You know where the others are stationed?”

“You don’t?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you suspiciously.

“Mate, all the orders I was given went in one ear and out the other,” You sigh, holding back a wince at your desperate attempt to sound more natural using British slang, “I just know I’ve got to stand out here and shoot the enemy.”

The enemy eyes you suspiciously and he takes a moment to try and read your face before he says, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before, actually. Which would be weird, if we’re in the same platoon, don’t you—”

You sigh and quickly pull out the small switchblade you had hanging on your belt, stabbing the enemy in the neck before he can say anything else and grabbing him before he can drop to the ground, putting a hand behind his back as you half lead half drag him into a dark alleyway beside the building he was stationed outside of.

You quickly set him down into a sitting position and take your knife out of his throat, tucking the blade back into the handle before adjusting it to latch onto your belt once again, letting out a frustrated huff as you stare at the now dead man in front of you.

“[c/n], how copy?” Price’s voice crackles through on your ear piece.

You push in the PTT button and lower your voice, “Copy, I fucked up a little bit. One of the guys was onto me.”

“You were there for five bloody minutes,” Gaz’s voice rings through, his tone both disbelieving and amused, “How’d he already catch onto you?”

“The British are smarter than I thought,” You breathe out, standing up and looking around for a ladder to climb to get to higher ground before anyone spots you. You go farther into the alley and find an old, rusty ladder with rungs that look like they’d snap if someone sneezed on them too hard—perfect for climbing up.

You wrinkle your nose as your hand makes contact with one of the rungs but don’t say anything otherwise, instead wordlessly hauling yourself up onto the ladder.

“Reminder that there’s three British people with you, currently,” Ghost’s deadpan tone crackles, his breathing heavy, as you can tell he’s whispering into his mic, “All of which are very smart.”

“I caught you reading the instructions on a box of tea bags the other day, don’t fuckin’ talk right now,” You grumble, slowly climbing up the ladder, hating the creaking noises it makes as you do. It sounds like it’s going to snap at any minute, and you try to go up as fast as you can, but one wrong move and you’ll easily slip, some of the rust that flakes off of the ladder enough to make you slip up.

“They were circles,” Ghost says, exasperated, “I didn’t know if that made a difference.”

“I thought British people were supposed to know everything about tea,” You roll your eyes, putting your hand on the next rusty rung up on the ladder.

“Yeah, L.t,” Soap agrees with you teasingly, the wind hitting his mic, making it obvious that he’s running, “Thought ye Brits were s’possed to ken everything ‘bout tea.”

You laugh quietly to yourself as you finally make it to the top of the building, the top just high enough for you to look at the few soldiers below and hear a majority of their conversations without them noticing you.

You get to the edge of the rooftop and pull the sniper rifle you’d been carrying around off of your back, glad to finally be back in your element rather than trying to get in undercover, and set it up.

You pull the stand out and set it on the edge of the roof, and look through the scope of the rifle, lining it up so that it’s aiming directly at one of the soldier’s heads, specifically the one that was standing directly out of the entrance you originally were meant to try and get into—but doing this didn’t change much.

Regardless of if you got in or not, he would’ve died, and the others would’ve gotten in too. You getting in first was just meant to make it more efficient.

You press down on the PTT button on your earpiece as you look through the scope of your sniper rifle, keeping the aim on the soldier in front of the entrance, “The guy in front of the entrance is just standing still, so whenever you need me to, I can shoot ‘im down.”

“I don’t think we need to get in just yet,” Price hums, “But maybe in a minute.” “M’kay,” You hum, taking your eye away from the scope, instead just looking over at the enemy soldiers. You lay on your stomach, leaning your head down a bit to try and listen in on the enemy’s conversations easier, trying your best not to make yourself too obvious.

The conversations were pretty boring and almost the same for every soldier you’d eavesdropped on, for the most part. Enemy soldiers joking around, talking about what they’ll do once they’re on leave—like they would be able to do that after you completed your assignment—and just some general team camaraderie.

The lackluster subjects of their conversations weren’t bad at all, no, in fact, you could care less what they talk about.

It was their stupid accents you hated.

Are you surrounded by British people everyday? Yes. Does that stop you from hating on the British everyday? No. Okay, maybe the accents aren’t stupid, but God, they had the thickest cockney accents you’d heard in your entire life, and it was making your eavesdropping so much harder, and had almost been the reason you were given away earlier.

They used slang words that you’re certain you’ve never heard before in your life, and used analogies that didn’t even make sense—you heard one of them use the words, verbatim, ‘Don’t get stroppy’. Stroppy? Stroppy?

You narrow your eyes down at the soldiers below you, listening to a conversation they’d just started up.

“—eah, ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do anything about it, so now we have to camp out here and wait for somethin’ to happen,” One of the soldiers scoffs, “I’m telling you, man, if I see that skull-masked bloke runnin’ ‘round out here, I’m legging it from ‘im immediately.”

You draw your eyebrows together in confusion, but you stay silent for now. Isn’t that exactly what the other soldier said? Are they like a hive mind or something?

“You’re legging it?” The other soldier asked, sounding almost incredulous, “What happened to you chattin’ to some of the others about your loyalty and what not?” “All that’s irrelevant when the fuckin’ grim reaper rolls around and starts murkin’ people like he’s been doing for the entirety we’ve been here, mate,” The first soldier laughs, “You think I wanna be here when he does that?”

“Don’t act like a prat about it, man—fuckin’ talking’ like you can outrun him.” “A prat? I’m not—” You tune out the rest of their argument and instead try and figure out what they were saying.

A prat? Legging it? Can’t be arsed? What the fuck? You push the PTT button on your earpiece and as quietly as you can, you ask, “I need some help. Serious help. Life or death situation.” Immediately, Price’s voice rings through, “What? What is it? What happened?” “The soldiers are British and I can’t tell what they’re saying,” You answer, ignoring Price’s relieved sigh on his end, “I need help.” “Jesus, fuck, don’t scare me like that,” Price sighs, taking a few breaths before continuing, “Alright, what do you need help with?”

“Figuring out what they’re saying.” This time, you hear Gaz’s voice crackle through, “Well, you’ve got three British people here—tell us what he’s saying.”

“One of the guys was talking about ‘legging it’ if he saw Ghost heading towards him, and talked about Ghost ‘murking’ people, and then the other guy he was talking to told him he was being a ‘prat’ about it and he got all offended,” You eloquently say into the earpiece, watching as the argument gets a little more heated. You can hear an amused huff from Ghost on his end and a scoff from Soap in return.

“They’re just saying they’re gonna run away if they see Ghost because he’s been killing a lot of their soldiers, and the other guy said he was being a prat, which I guess is like…” Gaz pauses to think of how to explain the slang term before settling on, “Someone who’s kind of full of themselves, I guess. Or ignorant. Either or.”

“They couldn’t just say that?” You muse quietly, still staring down at the enemy soldiers.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” Price’s voice cuts through, “Go ahead and shoot the guy down. I’m ready to head in.”

“Got it,” You hum, quickly putting your eye back up to your scope and readjusting it a bit before quietly warning, “Shooting him now.”

You pull the trigger and the enemy goes down immediately, and through your scope you can see the small twitching of his body as the other soldier starts to freak out.

You quickly aim the gun at his still-alive friend and shoot him down as well, silently congratulating yourself on your good aim and continuing to look through the scope, watching as Price runs in with Gaz and a few other soldiers.

They struggle with the door for a moment and you sigh before pressing in the PTT button on your earpiece and quietly saying, “Price, Gaz, move away from the door for a sec.”

Wordlessly, they do as they’re told, and you take the opportunity to line up the gun’s aim with the complex electronic panel on the outside of the door and pull the trigger, shooting the most crucial part of the panel, causing it’s functions to disrupt and as a result, the doors open.

“Thanks for that,” Gaz breathes out as Price kicks open the door, his voice cut off a bit at the end as he takes his hand off the PTT button too quickly in order to follow after Price.

“Uh huh. Of course,” You say offhandedly, taking your eye away from the scope of your sniper rifle and listening to the loud sirens go off in the facility the others break into, and push yourself up so that you can sit up straight to properly watch it. You grunt as you sit up, stretching your arms out for a moment before letting them fall into your lap.

“Are they in?” Soap asks, curious, his voice a little strained and breathy. There’s no loud gusts of wind coming through his mic anymore, and you look around for a moment, before your eyes catch on to him climbing up a ladder to get to the rooftop adjacent to yours.

Your lips twitch into a smile at the sight of him completely clueless to your presence and you press your PTT button to talk.

“Yeah, they’re in,” You say, watching as he finally gets to the rooftop, “Didn’t you hear the sirens?”

You can see Soap’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion for a moment, and he looks around for a moment before finally seeing you on the rooftop directly next to his, and he looks surprised for a moment before a grin splits across his face. You see him press the PTT button on his mic as well.

“I did, yeah, just wanted tae be sure,” He says into his mic, looking right at you as he does, “It’s a surprise seeing you here.”

“Imagine how I feel,” You muse, almost to yourself, before looking away from Soap and speaking up, “Ghost, you don’t wanna join us on the rooftops?”

“Absolutely not,” He replies almost immediately, making you huff out a small laugh and Soap’s grin grow, “I’m perfectly fine on the ground.”

“Where are you?” You ask, scanning the area around you for Ghost, “I feel like I haven’t seen you this whole time.”

“I’m just behind the facility,” Ghost hums, voice still a low whisper, “I’m gonna be heading in once Gaz and Price make it to the second floor to clean up the first, in case there’s anyone left.”

“You’ve been behind the facility this whole time?” Soap’s voice cuts through, surprised by the fact.

“Mhm,” Ghost hums.

“It’s a bit boring back there, innit?” Gaz’s voice crackles through, his voice a little breathy, “You can sweep the first floor, by the way. Should be nobody left, though. Pretty sure all the soldiers were just faffing around, not doing much.”

“Fucking faffing around?” You ask incredulously to yourself, though apparently your voice is loud enough to make Soap chuckle.

As if he can read your mind, Price’s voice comes through, “Faffing around is just doing nothing or doing nothing particularly productive, [c/n].”

You sigh and push your PTT button this time, talking into your mic, “You couldn’t just say that, Gaz? You had to say something silly like faffing around?”

“It’s not silly,” Gaz says, his frown audible, “They were faffing around.”

“Jesus, fuck,” You breathe out, laughing lightly, “It’s totally silly.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yeah it is.”

“No it’s—”

“I just want one day where you two don’t start up stupid arguments like this,” Price’s tired sigh comes through, “Just one day, I beg of you both.”

“Aw, Captain, we were just faffing around,” You whine playfully, the misuse of the slang making Soap cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter and you hear Ghost groan into his mic.

“That is absolutely not how you use that,” Gaz says, though you can hear some laughter in his voice—from your very non-British accent saying British phrases, you presume, a small grin gracing your lips at the thought.

“It sounded natural to me,” You lie straight through your teeth, shrugging even though only Soap can see you.

“You’re insufferable,” Gaz groans, making you laugh quietly, “Never use British slang again, please.”

“What if I get a British accent? Will that fix it?”

“Nothing can fix what you’ve said today, [c/n].”

“Well that’s dramatic,” You scoff, “I’ll learn British just for you guys.”

“Holy shit, please stop talking,” Price’s exasperated voice interrupts the both of you, “You’re both insufferable. Drop it.”

“… I don’t think I will,” You say defiantly, making all three British people in the same voice channel as you groan in unison, the sound sounding like some sort of middle school choir trying to sing in harmony, “I’ll use Duolingo or something to learn it.”

“British isn’t a language you learn, you muppet,” Price grumbles, making you snort.

“Muppet?”

“It’s someone who’s dumb and clueless and can’t take a hint, like you,” Ghost defines, “And Soap, most of the time.”

“Daen’t go draggin’ mae into this,” Soap’s voice quickly cuts through, “I haven’t said onything.”

“Uh, yes you absolutely did, earlier, remember?” Gaz argues, ignoring Price’s protests for him to stop arguing, “About Ghost being stupid with the tea thing?”

“Oh, I’ll have you all know—”

“Ghost, don’t start—”

You listen as the once casual, teasing conversation turns into an argument and chuckle quietly to yourself, knowing that they’d be arguing about this until you all finished your assignment.

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