#it’s the fear of failure that makes you actually fail

[loveemagicpeace]

🍸Saturn in Houses🍸

A lot of people ask me about Saturn in houses so I decided to make a new series about Saturn in houses in general.

☕️Most important thing about Saturn is that Saturn represent time , age ,reward , growth but in some kind of different way than Jupiter. Also represents your way of coping with life,things that you are more serious about and more responsible with. It also represents holidays. The planet is known for its reality and practicality, but also for its tendency to excessive strictness. His expectations may be too high. A strong Saturn in chart can indicate that we want to control everything in our life to the point that we consider ourselves a failure if we fail to reach the goals we have set for ourselves. However, Saturn provides the desire for we develop the areas in which we feel weak and this weakness can therefore become our greatest virtue. Strong Saturn connection between two charts in relationship (especially if saturn is in aspect with the moon or the sun) indicates a serious long-term commitment that can last forever (whether we like it or not). Saturn can also be cruel sometimes because it is the planet of hard reality but it also the planet that help us the most to achieve something much more greater than that.

🫧Saturn in 1st house- in your early age you can have problems with yourself image ,with your appearance ,confidence & energy. It can also be hard for you to express yourself. With Saturn here you can feel weak sometimes. You can feel like you don't have that much power that other people do have or you can feel like you are not good enough. Many people may underestimate you. Many times you can give off a very different energy than it really is (especially when people meet you for the first time). You are a more closed person and you only give energy to those who deserve it.

✨Saturn in 2nd house- maybe it's hard for you to find your value or set boundaries for yourself. You have very strong and serious approach to money you will never buy something that it's like I don't know some random thing. Also a lot of people think that you cannot work with money or things related to money maybe people don't trust you with that but this is all because they don't really know how smart you actually are. Low self-esteem is a characteristic trait of this placement in astrology. Self-confidence doesn’t come easy to you, though.

⭐️Saturn in 3rd house- many people underestimate your thinking, expression, intelligence. U can usually get insecure about the way you speak or the way you say some things. I think the fear in this house is that you are afraid that you will say something wrong. You have to be confident in whatever thing you say and you should say confidently because you are intelligent ,you're smart. You can also be a good writer & speaker. Many people can pass their driving test late, but that's exactly why they drive much better than others. You can get along better with your siblings later in life. You are capable of seeing things in depth.

🎧Saturn in 4th house- you can have a lot of rules in your early years. You grow up with rules at home that you can stick to. Your parents are more strict with you and allow you to do certain things later. I just feel like that parents will buy you a phone later in life or something. People usually come from a family where they weren’t emotionally nourished. But it's not always like that because when it comes to family the Moon is great indicator for how you feel at home and how you vibe at home. So saturn doesn't mean that your family cannot be good. You can also be the person who grows the fastest in the family.

❄️Saturn in 5th house- dating life can be very serious topic for you. You cannot date people with whom you don't feel that you can have committed relationships with. Saturn brings a strong desire for fame, recognition, and success but may result in delays and disappointments in love life and artistic creations. U can also struggle to find love. You can also have very high standards when it comes to love because 5th house represent dating ,represent meeting people and flirting and falling in love so usually people who have Saturn in 5th house are very serious when it comes to that. In some cases, your partners are older than you. Often, your love life significantly improves after the age of thirty. Your best relationships will probably come later in life. As you become more carefree and spontaneous, you become more attractive to others.

🍃Saturn in 6th house- you can have a lot of struggles in the work. You feel that working is just anxiety for you or when you work, people are just rude or mean to you. You are always in the shadow at work. People find you like you are not good enough or you don't do the job good enough. You can also stress a lot about your health and you can also be obsessed with being in the some kind of routine or having some lifestyle. Being healthy all the time.

🐚Saturn in 7th house- there can be issues with your relationships. You can have relationships in your early years or you don’t have for a long time. You usually have many karmic relationships from which you can learn a lot. Saturn helps you to choose the right person for yourself and to be happy in the end. You are a person who is serious when it comes to a relationship (when you find a person, then that person is the one and only for you), you hate cheating, and when you decide to leave then you leave. Saturn can also bring a sense of responsibility and duty to relationships. The individual may take their relationships seriously and work hard to maintain them.

☁️Saturn in 8th house- there can be a lot of family secrets that family kept from you. People with Saturn in this house usually feel very lonely or alone in their soul. They have this mindset that you are all alone in this world. You are aware of the hard truth in life that people don't. You can fear the death of loved ones. If you overcome the challenges of your Saturn in the eighth house, you will be able to understand people very well. You can develop a talent to see into the soul. Saturn here gives you a deep understanding of life, death, crisis, transformation, and sometimes a talent for healing.

⚡️Saturn in 9th house- Saturn gives you a deeper view of the world in which you live. Saturn in ninth house people have very strict moral code. This placement indicated a religious person, someone who either follows the set rules or makes their own views. You meet new people and experience new activities that make you see the world from a new perspective. You can also meet a lot of people that change your perspective and your mindset. But there can also be a deep fear of new views. Maybe you don't feel like you're not smart enough or that you're not educated enough.

🖤Saturn in 10th house- You usually go over many obstacles to finally achieve what you really want. Many people have problems with whether they will ever be successful or achieve it. But in the end, they achieve even more. Many times people don't believe in you and see you as a person who will never be that successful and then you surprise them all. You can learn a lot from your father and your father can be your role model or a person who helps you through life. The best advice will give you your father.

🫐Saturn in 11th house-you can have a lot of karmic friendships and you can change a lot of friends in your life. Every friend that you have is the friend that you have to learn something from them. Your hopes and wishes are another important life area associated with this house. It shows everything that comes into your life and how your dreams can come true. Saturn in eleventh house suggests that you are quiet and reserved when in a group. Sometimes you feel invisible: it feels like no one hears you out in a group. In this lifetime, you have to learn how to have a healthy relationship with groups and how to behave in your social circle.

🥃Saturn in 12th house- The individual may experience a strong sense of responsibility towards charitable or behind-the-scenes work. Sometimes you don’t let even those the closest to you to see your weaknesses. As a child, you had to learn to hide your feelings, especially the negative ones. You absorb all the energies around you, and if you are surrounded by negativity, it can affect you badly. It can happen that you have a job that requires you to be isolated in some way. Maybe you work in a hospital or prison. You are often unaware of the reason why you are in pain. If you have planets in the twelfth house, you can benefit a lot from psychotherapy. But when you have Saturn return you can benefit a lot from it and you can become very spiritual opened and you can have a lot of blessings.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

✨Ig-bekylibra✨

-Rebekah📀💘☁️

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #my notes #astrological houses #saturn in houses #saturn

[prettieinpink]

Cultivating a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that one's skills, qualities, and abilities can be nurtured and enhanced through hard work and learning. Adopting this mindset makes you more open to challenges, embracing the unfamiliar or uncomfortable and willing to experience failure.

However, adopting this growth mindset means we must challenge our limiting self-beliefs that reinforce our fixed mindset. Limiting beliefs is the negative thoughts that hold us back, hindering our journey of self-improvement. 

RECOGNISE YOUR FIXED MINDSET. Start to be aware of how your fixed mindset, became your everyday internal dialogue. Fear of failure, procrastination, always being in your comfort zone or being a constant quitter could be why this mindset has been reinforced in your mind.

That being said, you need to start being conscious of what you’re saying to yourself daily. If you struggle with that, try speaking to yourself out loud, as it helps to be more aware of what you’re saying. 

REMOVE ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T ALIGN, i’m specifally talking about social media. There are so many self degarding or depreciating content(which are always disgusied as a ‘joke’) and the more you consume it, the more you believe it. 

However this can apply to your physical environment as well, such as people, sentimental objects or your actual space. 

START TO REDEFINE FAILURE. There are so many ways you can define failure, but my favourite has to be failure is the sacrifice for success. Of course, you can research other ways to redefine it that resonates with you.

However, allow yourself to grieve failures, especially if they had a huge impact on your life. The only way you can apply the lessons from failure in life is to process them. 

DO SOMETHING CHALLENGING EACH DAY. Whether it is giving yourself an extra 20 minutes at the gym, or trying to advance yourself in your studies, just do something that pushes you and hopefully, makes you struggle. 

Once we allow ourselves to struggle and be challenged, we start to develop the belief that being challenged is okay, not doing it perfect on the first try  is okay we can still do tasks without them being perfect + you’re also embracing failure. 

APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT. Something is always better than nothing, not everything that we do has to be perfect to consider ourselves accomplished. Once we acknowledge the value of hard work and see how it impacts our day-to-day life, it enforces the belief that we can expand our skills even just by a little.

The perfect way to appreciate your effort is by celebrating or rewarding yourself. Allow yourself extra screen time, to sleep in, or do any of your favourite ‘unproductive’ activities. 

SEEK OUT NEW KNOWLEDGE. Not just reading an article and calling it a day, but actively researching something memorable. This doesn’t have to be a scholarly topic, it could be anything. When we start to desire to learn, which is practically the main thing about a growth mindset, it enforces those beliefs. 

BUILD RESILENCE. You’re going to fail, struggle, lose and maybe suffer. While it is important to grieve what happens, you should be able to bounce back after some time. Building this skill is so important in the growth mindset, as it helps you to take control of your emotions and not the other way around. 

This applies to constructive criticism as well. People will not always give you praise, but that doesn’t matter, what matters is your ability to act on that criticism. An outside perspective always helps to improve yourself and your abilities. 

#becoming that girl #becoming her #green juice girl #clean girl #it girl #it girl energy #that girl #that girl lifestyle #that girl energy #dream girl #glow up era #glow uo #growth mindset #mindset #high value mindset #personal growth #growth #empowerment #wonyoungism #self improvement #self care #self confidence #self development #self growth #self healing #self love #inner peace #inner growth #resilience #dream girl journey

[supermoongirl9]

Your 12H is also about what you're scared could make you fail in life tbh so you're avoiding doing it somehow (to your detriment).

ex: Gemini? scared of stagnancy and not having enough time so they never rest (Taurus 12H) but then they exhaust themselves lol bitch, take a nap it's ok.

Aries? Scared of getting lost in their dreams and that their emotions could prevent them from being their best self/people would use it against them so they're trying to act strong all the time (Pisces 12H).

Taurus? Scared of being seen as too bold and insolent for asking for what they want from life so they try to act unbothered when things don't go their way so no scandal happens somehow (Aries 12H).

Cancer? Scared of being seen as inconsistent and acting like changing their mind about something means they were never serious about it in the first place + disappointing themselves and others in the process (Gemini 12H).

Leo? Scared of being seen as too sensitive and fragile so others don't take seriously enough, don't let them do their own things; acting like they don't need to be protected and babied sometimes when it's actually just normal (Cancer 12H).

Virgo? Scared of being seen as too much and somehow selfish for wanting to do their own things/putting work into their projects so they're trying to help others in order to balance that fear; scared of success and the potentiality of failure leading to self-sabotage (Leo 12H).

Libra? Scared of being seen as too obsessed with what they want to accomplish and accused of not treating everyone and everything equally if they show any kind of preference so they have now to say yes to everything others are asking them to do to counter that (Virgo 12H).

Scorpio? Scared of others seeing how much they actually care about others generally speaking so people could use their loved ones to manipulate or hurt them and now they have to act as being alone isn't an issue for them to protect what/who they cherish (Libra 12H).

Sagittarius? Scared of how they could react when crossed and of how much things actually impact them on a deeper level so they're trying to act unbothered and like they know everything has a purpose when it's eating them alive at times (Scorpio 12H).

Capricorn? Scared that they won't ever be knowledgeable enough to master what they need to, of actually never experiencing enough in this life and regretting it but at the same time spending too much time working to even enjoy (Sagittarius 12H).

Aquarius? Scared of being not serious enough to be able to achieve their goals because it means people won't respect them, their work and their possible legacy while at the same time claiming to despise any form of recognition from major institutions/people (Capricorn 12H).

Pisces? Scared of never actually fitting in while being attached to their uniqueness but not knowing how to express it in a way that won't make others reject them for being different which leads to them hiding some parts of themselves, claiming to be misunderstood (Aquarius 12H).

#the 12th house #astrology #random piece of astro knowledge #natal astrology

[whispereons]

Oracle!Reader Part 4

Masterlist - Part 1, Part 3, Part 5

TW: this has death, mentions of child abuse, and more heavy topics. Remember that SAGAU is (usually) a yandere au and yanderes are a warning by themselves. Plus SAGAU is a cult, that makes it 10x worse depending on how it is. You've been warned.

You wake up feeling refreshed for once. You managed to get a full sleep and when you felt your face, the mask was still there. As you get off the bed your foot touches the bag the clothes were brought in. Now with more clothing options, you take a shower ready to properly wash your body.

The shower attached to your room was small and clean. This wasn't earth so no shower or bathtub but what they had was the closest to it since the Kamisato's were rich. In fact, you would even say it's better than Earth. Were the water bills here as high as it is on Earth?

You soaked in the warm water as you scrubbed away the filth. From the dirt to the dried blood and the pus from the electric wounds. Your hands traced the faint scars that covered your body. Little nicks from knives to full-on stab wounds from a certain relative.

Some days they felt like battle scars. You looked at them proud of how far you've come, how much you've survived from. Other days or most days you should say, they felt like your failures were on display. Whether from lack of awareness or for failing to save him.

The thought of him still makes you sad even though it's been years since it happened. It seems being in another world in a whole new situation couldn't shake his influence from your life. You aren't completely sure if that's a good or bad thing.

You finish your bath and apply first-aid to the minor wounds. You were quite skilled in this area from years of practice. Looking through the bag with a critical eye you choose one of the new outfits. It's unlike anything on earth. Both in style and fabric. Actually that's probably cause you were never able to afford high-quality clothes like this.

In typical Genshin fashion, it was asymmetrical with many accessories. You left most of the accessories in the bag and only wore the body suit pieces with the shirt and pants. Your feet cried in relief with the new socks and shoes.

As you finish doing your hair, someone knocks on the door. You open it to see a servant handing you a tray of food.

"Good morning, I'm here to deliver your food and a message." You take the tray from them and listen.

"The weekly festival and ritual for the creator will be happening this afternoon. As such Lord Kamisato has requested that you leave for Ritou after it. 'An oracle should attend even if not publicly. Especially as it's the Kamisato Clan's turn this week.' That is what Lord Kamisato message says."

Fuck. A ritual and festival for you? That's just begging for your bad luck to bite you in the ass again. You can already see yourself accidentally meeting Ei there.

"Thoma will bring you there after lunch. If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to ask." The servant gives you a moment to voice any questions before leaving.

Everything you wanted to ask isn't something they could have answered so it was best to wait till Thoma picked you up. You set the tray down and begin eating, it seemed this day wasn't going to be any less hectic than yesterday.

You were stuck in the estate while waiting for Thoma to pick you up. You couldn't leave in fear of meeting an enemy and dying. You may be the creator and should be a god therefore immortal. But did you really want to test that? No. You've skimmed by death enough times to know it's painful.

Trying to be productive you thought back on when you first arrived on Seirai Island. Now that you have a good identity with the Kamisato's approval you need to worry about living difficulties.

How will you get mora? A job would be best but you need one that allows you to travel around. You couldn't risk getting attached to one place in case your identity is compromised. It also can't be stationed in Inazuma meaning Komaniya Express was out of the question. The Adventurers' Guild was the only option.

You could probably sign up sometime during the festival but that could be risky if Ei requests their records to search for you. If the opportunity arises then you'll sign up today, if not then you'll do it in Liyue.

Since you'll be traveling around then a home or apartment isn't necessary. You'll probably need some camping gear to sleep and cook. Thankfully your life on earth has already taught you what you do and don't need. Plus a weightless game bag with little to no limit is priceless.

Now the hardest part is how you'll deal with the enemies. You don't know how to wield a weapon outside of a pocket knife and you had no controllable elemental powers. (The anemo and geo that helped you yesterday did not count. You couldn't actively call upon them.)

Learning a weapon was hard. A brand new skill and you weren't even sure which would work best with you. No vision, delusion (not that you would ever use one), gnosis, or main character powers like the traveler. You were really in a tight position, would the Guild even hire you?

The moment you think that you almost laugh at yourself. If reckless Pallad who was so weak he couldn't run away from slimes. Clueless Lynn that couldn't find apples or sunsettias unless they were handed to her. And Tiantian who doesn't even know what the Adventurer's Guild does could all be hired, then so can you.

That doesn't fix the initial problem as they all stay in their nations while you'll be traveling. Hilichurls and other monsters' aggressiveness may have been exaggerated for the games sake. But that doesn't mean they aren't aggressive and can't attack you.

A series of knocks matching a melody are heard on the door. Were you really deep in thought for that long?

Opening the door, Thoma stands on the other side with a smile. "Y/N, are you ready to get going? The festival is going to start soon and my lord went early with my lady to prepare the ritual. I can show you around it while we wait for the main event."

His fast-paced speech showed off just how excited he was. It was a cute sight. Would this count as a date?

"Yeah, I'm ready to go. Everything I have is in my bag."

"Perfect then let's get going." Thoma takes your hand and leaves the estate with you. You begin the trek with Thoma when you remember your original questions about the ritual.

"So this must be pretty popular if it's done every week. In the message Ayato sent me, he said it was the Yashiro Commission's turn. Does that mean the other Commissions take the other weeks? Who does the last week?"

"The last week is a collaboration of the Tri-Comission with the Elctro Archon in charge. We take the first week, the second week is the Kanjou Commission, and the third week is the Tenryou Commission. It's courtesy for each commissioner to attend them all but the Electro Archon only attends hers."

So no accidentally running into Ei at the festival? Perfect but you'll still be on guard. Ei may be the biggest threat but you haven't forgotten the others. Ayato, Yae, and Heizou were the top people to avoid to keep your identity. You had no choice but to meet Ayato and even though it worked out, you didn't want a repeat of that.

"Then the last one must be the most exciting. Can you tell me more about what to expect?" Thoma helps you past the rocky path as you are halfway to Inazuma City. His grip is tight when you jump off a particularly steep ledge.

"When we get there the ritual won't start yet but the festival will be in full swing. You'll be free to walk around and look at the stalls. Food, drinks, games, merchandise of the creator, and even some small plays."

"Merchandise and plays?" It's weird thinking that you have official merch. Especially since no one knows that you are the face of said merchandise. You'll probably need to buy some to upkeep your oracle schtick.

"Yup! Merchandise can range from posters, clothing, plushies, and even decorative food. The scriptures say that the creator is especially fond of F/F." Wow, they even know your favorite food.

"Would they be selling the actual food at the festival too?" Please say yes. You've been dying to eat something from your world. Teyvat is great and you don't miss your old life but that doesn't mean you don't miss the things you used to have there.

"Of course they do! Everyone loves to experience what the creator loves to feel closer to them. As for the plays, they differ every so often. Sometimes it's the classic 'Creator making Teyvat' while sometimes it's something more farfetched like 'Creator using the traveler and acolytes for their will'."

You're not sure if your wish is arrogant but you kinda want to see one of these plays. Hopefully, if you have the time you can watch one before the festival ends. You can see Inazuma City coming closer and closer.

"Then what exactly is the ritual?"

Thoma smiles mischievously at your insistent question. "You'll just have to wait and see. Since the creator sees through you best, we wanted it to be a surprise."

Sighing you give up, it didn't really matter since you'll be seeing it in person. You climb the steps and finally look around as the surroundings slowly got more colorful. Banners of you with a gold cloak on are situated all around.

Awed you let Thoma lead you deeper into the city. Many stalls were set up with everything Thoma said. The people were no longer NPCs with similar models and nearly identical clothes. Instead, people of all types were chatting as they walked the streets. Colorful kimonos, yukatas, and what were those called? Happi? Either way, the sheer variety and amount of people stunned you. The 'crowds' in Genshin always looked lackluster so this was a wonderful surprise.

All around you could hear everyone speaking about someone. About you.

"What a beautiful work of art. I'm sure the creator would be pleased if I hung this up in my house."

"The perfect figurine of the creator. I'm sure this shows only a fraction of their perfection."

"Mommy, can I please see the play? Mr. Sorahiko promised to do the play about the creator and the archons. It's my favorite one!"

"Yet again I had enough rent and a free day to attend the first ritual of the month. Our beloved creator always looks out for us."

Man, you weren't sure how they would react if they knew you were the creator. In fact would you even still be the same if you lived a year or two as the creator? You're most likely to get a savior or god complex judging by how they talk about you.

Thoma smiles at the sight of your excitement. The way your eyes never stop on one place for too long. Your fidgeting as if you can't wait to be freed and explore. He had made sure to have this time off to spend it with you. He wanted to spend as much time with you until you left.

"Y/N, I'll show you the best spots and places. Trust me when I say that-"

"THOMA!" Thoma is cut off by the yell of his name. The way his eyelids drop and his lips scowl for a second show his annoyance. Was this person super annoying or something?

It's an old man with balding white hair and a slightly hunched back. He's behind the counter of Shimura's restaurant. He must be the owner, Shimura Kanbei.

"Thoma get over here! I need to speak with you!" Yeah, you can definitely understand Thoma's annoyance now. From what you can remember Shimura only ever bitched about Uyuu restaurant. But he was also a samurai so maybe that's why he's so rowdy?

Thoma smiles apologetically at you and says, "Just give me a minute please." You nod and watch Thoma go to Shimura. They talk and Thoma seems very insistent on something while Shimura keeps refusing. Seems Thoma lost the argument by the way he walks back to you with a disappointed expression.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I won't be able to spend time with you like I wanted. I owe Mr. Shimura a favor and he wants to cash it in now. I tried to convince him to let me repay it another time but it seems he needs it now. Again I'm really sorry Y/N."

Thoma's head was hanging and his eyes were closed with resignation. It was like looking at a sad puppy who was being punished for breaking his toy. You can't resist reaching over to pat his hair.

His eyes shoot open in confusion but he doesn't move away. He only stares at you with an unreadable expression and an embarrassed flush. You can't help but laugh a little and move your hand away after getting your fill of patting him.

"Sorry if that was sudden. You just looked really cute, like a puppy. You don't have to apologize for doing your job Mr. Fixer. This isn't the last time we'll see each other so go ahead and help the old man."

He looks away with a smile when you call him cute. He enjoys the way his face feels hot when you are around. The feeling of your hand on his hair was surprising but very nice. He wished you left it there a little longer. Maybe even forever.

"Thank you Y/N, I'll finish this up quickly and then join you! But before I forget, here, this is for you from my lord and lady." Thoma takes out a thick pouch and hands it to you.

The clinking, weight, and shape of the pouch give it away immediately. You open it a little to see loads of mora inside it. You could kiss Ayato, Ayaka and Thoma. You were no longer broke! Eagerly you put it into your bag for safekeeping.

"Use the money for whatever you wish. It's a present from them."

'I'll be sure to thank them when I see them. And thank you too Thoma for delivering it and escorting me here. Now go finish helping Shimura, we can hang out afterward."

Thoma smiles and jogs back to Shimura. You wave goodbye before strolling down the street. Once you get to a less crowded area you sit down and open your bag.

The game screen pops up and although the pouch is no longer there, your mora has gone way up. Instead of 108 mora, it's now 150, 108 mora. Knowing someone else gave you this money purely for whatever you want is really nice... Is this how Zhongli feels whenever Hu Tao and Childe pay for him?

Well, you won't be using most of this money, an oracle that wishes to stay hidden should live a frugal lifestyle. Plus you never know when you'll need to pay someone off to keep your face hidden. Even still spending some of the money now to enjoy this festival wouldn't be that bad. Right?

With renewed enthusiasm, you set off to explore the stalls. You make sure to keep your eyes peeled for any signs of Yae or Heizou. But it's all smooth sailing.

You get to a stall selling F/F and buy one. The taste is wonderful even though it's not exactly the same as the one you used to eat on Earth. Spotting a different stall selling Tricolor Dango, you get closer.

There's a little sign that says. "Tricolor Dango Creator Edition! Limited Sale!" It seems even here merchants won't lose a chance to make mora. The Dango is blue, gold, and purple colored. Curious you buy one and try it.

It's actually really good and it felt slightly nostalgic. Looking at the second one you bought, you stare at it trying to recall where you've seen the colors before.

It hits you that it's the same colors of the Fates you wish for in Genshin. Blue for the 3 stars, purple for the 4 stars, and gold for the 5 stars. They sold this as the 'Creator Edition' does that mean they can see your wishes?

A loud sound interrupts your train of thought. You and a few other bystanders look over to see Gorou looking distraught at his Tricolor Dango on the floor. A knocked-down stack of boxes on the ground and oh boy, Yae Miko standing right with him.

You can't hear what Yae is saying to Gorou as he fixes the boxes. But you can see the very uncomfortable look on Gorou's face as she circles him. You want to leave, Yae is not someone you want to get the attention of.

Steeling yourself to turn around and walk away, you try to look away. Yet you can't stop looking at just how badly Gorou wants to escape her. It bothers you to no end. You glance at the Tricolor Dango he dropped. It's the same creator edition dango you bought.

You groan and start walking over to them. This was so stupid, you were so stupid. Reckless, dumb, softhearted and-

You continue to beat yourself up as you confidently walk over to them. Yae looks at you with slight confusion as you sling an arm around Gorou's shoulder. The look on his face is hilarious.

"Hey, Gorou! Good to see you came back to Narukami Island so soon. I know you came back for your gig at the Yae Publishing House but I never even got to see you. C'mon, let's hang out while we have the chance. Oh, and you must be the Yae Miko right? A pleasure to meet you, I hope you don't mind me stealing him. Thank you, goodbye~"

You drag out the last syllable as you simultaneously drag Gorou away. Yae doesn't follow you to your relief and Gorou simply lets you pull him away. Once you're far enough away you let go of his shoulder and take a step away.

"So uh about what I said. You know what let me just be honest. I'm the creator's oracle and that's how I knew all that personal information about you. You just looked super uncomfortable around Yae that I couldn't walk away." Rubbing the back of your neck you look at Gorou sheepishly.

"Wow, that's uh a lot to process at once but let me thank you first. I was really uncomfortable. She isn't some horrible person but I'm not the best at countering her teasing attacks. Thanks for helping me retreat from that situation." Yeah, you did it at the cost of your own safety.

Even still the way his tail wags a little as he speaks and his ears twitch makes you want to reach out and pet them. Now that you can properly look at him, it was incredible to see actual animal ears on a person. You try to tamper down your excitement but it's a little hard since they move so often.

That's also when you notice the way Gorou is staring at your dango. His poor dango was left on the floor and he does have a big sweet tooth. Ah it's just one dango, you can get more dango later. You hold your dango out to him with a smile.

"I'm pretty sure Yae startled you making you drop your dango. You can have mine, it's the same limited creator edition." Gorou seems a bit bashful at his obvious desire but takes it from you gratefully.

"Thank you again. Even though you know my name I would still like to properly introduce myself. I'm General Gorou of the Watatsumi Island resistance. Even though the war is over, we still have official duties to maintain peace which is why I commute over here. What's your name?"

"My name is Y/N, as I told you earlier I'm the creator's oracle. As proof, I do have a fan given to me by the Yashiro commissioner." You take the fan out and it glistens in the sunlight. Gorou's eyes widen at the sight of it. Was it really that influential?

"I mean I already mostly believed you simply by the information you knew but to have Lord Kamisato's fan is impressive. It's an honor to meet you Y/N being the creator's oracle must be an envious position. That also explains why my body was weirdly okay with you pulling me along."

He really believed it just like that? Gorou isn't from Narukami yet he held the fan in such high regard. You mentally thank Ayato and have a feeling you'll be thanking him a lot more after this.

Gorou finishes the dango in record speed while you spot a stall selling creator merchandise. Gorou follows your eyes and stands next to you, his soft tail brushes against your skin. Man, you really want to pet him.

"Do you want to check out that stall together? I mainly came here for the festival and I already completed the work I had to do. It would be great to explore the festival with you."

You nod excitedly and tug at his wrist. "I don't remember much before I became the oracle so I want to explore everything! It wouldn't be embarrassing for the creator's oracle to buy some of their merch right?"

"Of course not! There is a lot of good things only available during the festival. And afterward, I can show you the best spot to see the ritual." Gorou lets you pull him to the stall full of creator accessories.

Really you just wanted something that would make you seem like a big fan of the creator. Nothing super stalkerish level but noticeable to those who are cultish, like the acolytes.

You look around at the items on the stall with Gorou. Nothing catches your eye until you spot a bracelet. The design is what really drew your attention.

The bracelet was gold with Intertwined Fates and Acquaint Fates as charms. It's incrediably beautiful but also worrying. How did they know this symbol when it's only in the Wish system and Paimon's Bargains?

Right when you're about to ask the vendor, Gorou looks at it and says, "Oh, I recognize those, pretty aren't they? It's written in the scriptures that when the creator is close to coming back they will use stars with fate's design to input their will into their chosen acolytes. I'm lucky to be one of them."

So that's how they know. Quite clever how they input the word fate into it hinting at the name intertwined fate. Or was it the other way around?

"Such rich history. I may be knowledgeable in some areas concerning the creator but in others, such as the history, I'm lacking. I hope by traveling around Teyvat I can grow closer to the creator."

"Don't say that Y/N! You are like a signal officer for the creator, hold that position with pride. No one expects you to be perfect right away. I don't know you very well but I can already see how hard-working you are."

Well, he wasn't wrong. Making up a whole new identity in a new world is hard work. But you decided not to buy the jewelry or anything else. Who knows what kind of act you may need to use later on? Expensive jewelry like that could hinder you more than anything.

"Thanks Gorou, I'll do my best to live up to the title of oracle. But enough about that, let's continue exploring. In fact, do you smell that? I can basically taste all the food they have here."

Gorou perks up at your words and points toward another stall.

"Do you like sweet food? I know all the best ones here. Even if you don't we can start there with the dango milk, it's a good warm-up for the other treats!"

You follow Gorou to the stall and order your own dango milk. Thick, sweet, and a weird texture? You can see why Ei likes it but you can also understand why Wanderer hates it. In fact, knowing that Ei loves this is ruining the taste.

"Are you okay Y/N? You don't seem to enjoy it. If you don't that's okay, not everyone likes it."

"I'm fine but yeah I don't really like it. Maybe because it's too filing." You chuckle weakly. You were enjoying yourself so much that the thought of Ei really ruined your mood.

Gorou glances around before gently holding your wrist and leading you to an empty bench. He makes you sit down before giving a 'wait here' gesture and leaving. You look at his retreating form in confusion and simply sit there.

You didn't do a good job hiding your emotions just then but his actions were still confusing. Wouldn't someone normally just say encouraging things and leave it there? You just met him today after all.

While you were still wrapping your head around his actions, Gorou comes back holding a box. He sits next to you and opens the box while speaking.

"I'm in no position to make you talk or vent your frustrations to me but I'm a firm believer in speaking your mind. Muzzling up all your thoughts never helps anyone. I may not have the perfect advice or any advice but I'm a good listener. But if none of those things interest you then you can eat this box of sweets with me."

He opens the box showing it full of taiyaki, sakura mochi, sweet shrimp sushi, and berry mizu manjuu. The way he holds it in his lap while offering it to you is like some teenager confessing. Especially with how his ears flatten on his head with his tail wagging slowly.

You can't help but feel thankful that out of everyone that you accidentally slipped up in front of, it was Gorou. Not only because he was a good person, but because he was the type of person to not overlook someone else's problems. At least that was the impression you got from him when he chose the books that would help Watasumi Island in that one event.

You smile shyly and grab one of the fish-shaped Taiyaki. The jam is sticky and sweet mixing with the crunchiness of the shell well.

"Well, I can't say too much about it but you're right that speaking a little will probably help me." You take a deep breath before retelling what happened with Ei. Of course, you used metaphors, alias, and even more tricks to hide the real story while getting the main conflict across.

As you speak, your emotions bleed through. You take angry bites of your treats leaving little crumbs on the corner of your mouth. Gorou is intently listening and nodding along the whole time. Absentmindedly he reaches out and brushes away the crumbs.

Both of you freeze once the action is done. You pull away with a slight blush and Gorou yanks his hand back as his tail wags rapidly.

"I'm so sorry! I was so caught up listening to you that I did that automatically." His face is starting to get redder and redder with each word. He buries his face into his hands in embarrassment.

You grin devilishly at the opportunity that luck has presented you with. You weren't Yae but a chance is a chance. You would be a fool to give it up.

"I understand and don't worry I'm not bothered by it. Just a bit surprised. But it's a bit unfair isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Gorou looks up from his hands as he feels a chill go down his spine.

"Well you got to touch me, shouldn't I get to touch you as payback?" Gorou's ears go straight up and his face all the way to his neck goes red.

"I'm talking about your ears of course! Your animal features are most similar to a Shiba Inu right? I would love to pet your ears." You can't tell if Gorou is relieved or disappointed by how he sighs.

"Y-Yeah, I guess I can allow that. Is it really that tempting?" He moves to sit by your side rather than in front of you. Now with him almost pressed against your side you pet his ears. Almost immediately he whimpers at your touch.

"Please. Please ignore the sounds, I can't exactly stop them." He basically begs you. With a small laugh, you decide to go easy on him and not comment on it. Instead, you focus on how his soft ears twitch under your hand.

As you continue quietly petting him, he seems to relax further into you. Before long the almost empty box of sweets is beside you with Gorou's head on your lap.

Was he sniffing you?… Should you take it as a compliment or as something creepy? Well it's normal for dogs to smell people and you weren't being any better petting him like this. So maybe you're both weird and it's best to ignore it.

His eyes are closed with his cheek laying on your lap. His tail wags rapidly thumping against the wood of the bench. He mumbles sounds of contentment with whimpering mixed in. It's an incredibly cute sight. To the point where perhaps everything you went through was worth it for this moment.

You sneakily pet his tail, to which his tail responds eagerly by wagging harder. Gorou is seriously lucky nobody is around to witness this. It's ironic how just like you helped him from Yae, he helped you deal with Ei. It makes you feel a certain sense of kinship with him. Even if yours was significantly more dangerous.

"Y/N, there you are!" You jump at the sudden yell of your name and Gorou immediately sits up straight. Gorou whips his head around a bit dazed trying to find the source of the noise.

"I'm sorry it took so long, where were you anyway? The ritual is about to start." Thoma jogs closer to you and Gorou- did Gorou just growl at him?

You stare at Gorou in slight disbelief, maybe he was still out of it from sleeping? Yet Thoma seemed to respond in kind by grabbing your hand and pulling you up onto your feet, away from Gorou.

"You were hanging out with Gorou? Makes sense as he tends to come over a lot for the festival and work."

Thoma's words may be friendly but the way he was staring at Gorou told a whole different story. Gorou stands up from the bench too with his ears straight up in alert. Gorou stares at him with a barely concealed growl while Thoma smiles with gritted teeth.

Holy shit, they were never this hostile before. Well, they never interacted or had any voice lines with each other but they are both just friendly people in general. Why the hell are they even fighting? You know what the cause doesn't matter anymore. You don't need this kind of attention coming towards your area.

"Alright hold it you two." You yank your hand out of Thoma's and stand between them. Giving them both cautious glances you try to clear up the situation.

"I and Gorou were just enjoying the festival since we ran into each other at a dango stall. He dozed off right when Thoma yelled my name. The growl wasn't intentional. And Gorou I'm sure Thoma was just worried due to the growl."

They both seem to want to say something but they shut up at the look you give them.

"You guys aren't angry are you? I mean we should be enjoying the festival for the creator especially since the ritual is about to begin."

"No, I'm not angry. I was just a bit startled by the sudden hostility." Thoma says trying to hold back his frustration. You raise an eyebrow at that seeing clearly what he was trying to hide.

"I agree with Thoma. It was a bit offensive that he believed I would hurt someone outside of battle but I'm guessing that he was just worried about you." The look they give each other once Gorou is finished tells their true feelings.

"Alright since neither of you are mad at the other, why don't you shake on it?" Were you just fucking with them? Yeah, but if they were going to tell stupid lies then you'll make them do stupid things. You still didn't fully understand why they were so mad at each other.

Nonetheless, they both robotically reach out and shake hands. You can easily tell how they are tightening their grip to bruise and intimidate each other. Thoma may have the height but Gorou is a general for a reason. They let go at a draw.

This was going to be fun. Smiling you link arms with them and start walking to the main area of the city.

"With that out of the way, we should head to the ritual. We need to get good spots to watch it after all. I still don't even know what the ritual is."

The atmosphere relaxes for a minute as both men admire the sight of you. Your strength and willpower to keep plowing forward with both of them in tow despite their spat. They give each other a dirty look behind your back before walking in step with you.

"We should go to the left side Y/N, you did say we could hang out once I was done helping Mr. Shimura."

"The right side is better. I did promise to show you all the best spots."

And here they go again. By the time you get to the main area where a crowd was slowly forming, you were ready to sit in the first spot and ignore them both.

Like an angel from heaven Ayaka strolls to your group with her practiced perfect smile.

"Y/N, are you enjoying the festivities? The ritual is about to start and I'll need to bring Thoma with me to help out behind the scenes."

You release Gorou and Thoma as Ayaka gets closer to you. You've never been so happy to see her before. Still aware of the people watching you only hover near her.

"It's been a lot of fun, everything looks beautiful. I'm going to get a good spot for the ritual thanks to Thoma and Gorou. But of course, I understand that you need to take Thoma. I'm excited to see what you and Lord Kamisato have prepared."

"I'm just as excited to see your reaction Y/N." Thoma walks over to Ayaka as cheerful as ever but you can clearly see the way his shoulder sag. You wave goodbye to them both and Gorou has a smug smile. The minute he sees you looking, his smile softens to something kinder.

"Alright Gorou, lead the way." You still didn't fully understand what's making them so hostile but honestly, it didn't really matter. They weren't hostile to you and you were leaving today anyway.

"It's just up these stairs, and-" Gorou's words are drowned out by an overwhelming sense of something watching you. More like someone you realize as the sight of pink fox ears flickers in the corner of your vision. Seems like Yae has decided to watch you or Gorou, maybe even both.

You sit down with Gorou and pay extra attention to manage your expressions. The last thing you want to do is slip up again. A huge crowd formed near the stage, it looked suffocating to be there. Thankfully the spot Gorou brought you to was still close but high enough that you weren't being trampled.

On the stage is a statue of yourself. The statue is holding the Inazuma symbol in its hands as if displaying it. This statue is made of stone instead of wood like the one in your temple. The clothing and hair were made of Obsidian while you were made of Jadeite. The most notable detail was how gold lines seem to follow your veins in the statue.

Was that some sort of reference to the story of the creator bleeding gold? From what you remember reading in the room in the Kamisato estate, the scriptures said "The creator's blood is like flowing gold. Sacred and holy. Never should it have to be shed, and if so, may the offender pay for bleaching their golden blood."

You sure as hell bleed red so it's most likely that it's metaphorical rather than literal. But how many people in Teyvat see it that way? You had a feeling everyone took that chapter literally instead.

Ayaka goes up on stage holding a box while other servants that you recognize from the estate follow her holding more boxes. She gives her box to someone else to hold before going to all the other boxes and taking out the contents.

Gold, jewels, jewelry, fabric, and bottles of something presumably fancy are laid at the feet of your statue. Two servants place incense at either side of you before Ayaka lights them. The smell is refreshing and vaguely reminds you of cinnamon.

Your body seems to relax automatically but you keep it still since Yae may still be looking. Just as you're about to comment on the smell, Gorou speaks up.

"I've always wondered what it smells like." What? Gorou who has a great sense of smell can't smell it? You look around to see nobody else reacting to the smell.

Quietly you ask, "What do you mean by that? I thought we were just too far away to smell it."

"The incense used for rituals is special. It's specifically made with elemental power. Its concentration to make the sticks is so fine-tuned that only the creator and archons can smell the true scent. Everyone else smells nothing or a indescribable smell."

Well bullet dodged, you almost got caught there. By claiming to smell something, you would have drawn way too much attention for something that couldn't prove you well enough. You nod quietly and look back to the ritual.

Ayaka had now opened the box she was carrying showing two elemental decorations. It made sense that it's the highest prized offering since the Kamisato Clan deals with elemental energy the most.

She places a beautiful Sakura made of ice near one incense and a crystalline Camelia near the other. They were both truly beautiful, you would have loved to take them with you.

Ayato strolls to the front from who knows where and kneels at the statue. Never did you think that you would see Ayato kneel and clasp his hands in prayer at a statue of yourself. Yet everyone takes his lead and kneels down. The moment you see Gorou kneel is when you follow along.

Ayato's voice rings out over the dead-silent area.

"We offer these humble gifts to the creator. Our one and only maker that sacrificed themself for their creations. From every pebble to all the blood that exists in Teyvat. They all belong to you. We will continue to worship and offer to you as long as we still have the oxygen to do so. Let your title be our dying last words as you take us from this world into your loving eternity."

Damn, if you forgot that basically all of Teyvat was a cult, you sure as hell remember now. Just yesterday you were joking and play fighting with Ayato and now he was praying to you to basically make sure that he dies thinking of you. At least you knew that your worries about him killing you weren't unfounded.

You hold back the sigh of relief when Ayato says 'Amen' and everyone stands back up. Thoma opens the gate to your statue as the rest of Kamisato Clan leave the small space. People form a line to the statue holding offerings and boxes.

Old, young, men, women, and other species besides human all go up to your statue with gifts. They place them down and mutter a short word of thanks before moving for someone else. You look over at Gorou who's watching everyone with you.

"I didn't know what this ritual was so I have nothing to offer this time. Do you have anything to offer?" Gorou smiles mysteriously at your question.

"Yes, but I already gave them my offering. Really, I and her excellency offered on behalf of Watatsumi Island but I still count it since I was the one who caught him. But you won't see him till the next part of the ritual."

Oh, was sacrificing the next part? It wouldn't be pleasant to see animals be sacrificed in your name but you could deal with that. You wonder what kind of animal Gorou caught.

"Well just let me know which one you caught." He nods and rests his head on your shoulder as the line finishes. You can still feel someone staring at you. It seems Yae still hasn't given up.

With everyone out of the area around your statue, the gate is closed and Thoma walks onto the stage pulling 3 people along. They're in chains and old ragged clothes. Cuts, bruises, and dried blood cover parts of their bodies. You hold your breath at the sight of them lined up.

Ayato walks to the front of the stage and Thoma forces all 3 people onto their knees.

"People of Inazuma, this week will be slightly different from the Yashiro's usual sacrifice. Instead of one, we have three prisoners with the highest amount and the worst crimes committed."

Ayato unsheathes his Amenoma Kageuchi, the sword you had maxed out for him. He points it at the first prisoner.

"This man was a samurai that used his status to kidnap, rape, and kill multiple children. For the lives and innocence of those children he will face capital punishment. May the creator carry out their will through his punishment."

Oh my god. Yes that man is horrible and if his punishment is execution then let it go through but in your name? No, no, you don't want that man's life on your consciousness. Ayato points at the second prisoner.

"This woman was caught by the Grand Narukami Shrine. Not only was she colluding with a foreign nation to start a war but she was also found poisoning the water supply in the Shrine. That resulted in many shrine maidens becoming permanently ill and even dying. It also damaged the Sacred Sakura, she will face capital punishment. May the creator carry out their will through her punishment."

Was he going to say that for all of them? How many people have been sacrificed in your name? You barely breathe in fear of choking and calling attention to yourself. Right before Ayato points at the third prisoner, Gorou points at them first.

"That man is the one I caught."

Such a simple sentence yet it made you so nauseous. Were you dumb or just in denial for wanting to believe earlier that he was talking about an animal?

"This man was caught on Watatsumi Island. He had been found planting multiple explosives near the crop and farms on their island. This would not only kill a good portion of their population but also ensure that they would starve in the upcoming winter. For the attempted murder of so many lives he will be charged with capital punishment. May the creator carry out their will through his punishment."

The prisoners keep quiet with their heads down. Were they feeling guilty, resigned or apathetic? Doesn't matter, for what they did they deserve capital punishment but not under your name. They were still living beings that should rot rather than be killed for a god that didn't even ask for it.

"After hearing the crimes of these individuals. What punishment will we carry out in the creator's and victims names?" Ayato's voice booms and the public responds in kind.

At first it was a jumble of yells for certain executions. Seeing all these people including children yelling out for punishment in your name left bile in your mouth. You weren't about to say that all life was precious and that killing them in general was wrong but you were selfish.

The main reason you were so against it was due to your own conscious. Because this whole scene is confirming something you never wanted to believe. Something you struggled to accept or deny.

The masses seemed to reach an agreement and Ayato announced to everyone.

"The samurai will be forced to commit seppuku, the shrine maiden will be beheaded and the arsonist will be burned at the stake."

The stage is a blur of movement as the crowd cheered. The roaring applause and yells of excitement made you dizzy. You watch in a daze yet hyperaware of everything.

It starts with the child abuser, Ayato forces the man's hands around what looks like the man's sword. Ayato forces him to stab himself in the stomach. Its dragged from right to left. The blood sticks to the sword as Ayato pulls it out, the sight is disgustingly familiar. The samuri has his hands handcuffed behind him as he is left to bleed out to death in front of everyone. You aren't quite sure but by the way his mouth is moving, he seems to be screaming in pain.

The guillotine must have been set up while you were watching the samurai. Ayaka forces the bound woman to her knees and closes the top trapping her head. The shrine maiden is muttering judging by her mouth movement. Ayaka raises her sword and at that moment, the shrine maiden yells above the noise.

"Oh, beloved creator! Take me into your sweet embrace and show them all the truth of this world! Just as I have done everything for you, please-"

Her words are cut off as her head rolls. Ayaka stands there with a bloody blade and a frosty glare. The woman's head is stuck in a pleading expression and tears drying on her face. Your hands slowly grow paler with every second. The sound of desperate pleading brings your attention to the arsonist.

The man is already tied to the stake with wood at the bottom of it. Thoma's vision lights up but instead of hitting the man with his fire, he simply lights the wood on fire. The fire licks the thrashing man's feet and grows up the stake.

You can't stop staring at the two men slowly dying. In seppuku someone is supposed to cut the head off but no one will do it. And usually with burning executions they add more wood and fire to hurry up the process yet no one is adding anything. These two men are rightfully suffering for their crimes but you can't help but feel isolated as the crowd cheers for the men being publicly tortured.

In your name, in your name. Their deaths are on your hands. Those lives were taken due to you. You already had someone else's life on your hands, how could you handle any more?

A soft touch on your shoulder makes you look toward the source. When did he even move his head off your shoulder? Gorou is looking at you with worry evident on his face.

"Are you okay Y/N?"

More than anything you want to say no. You want to hide away and forget the deaths you just witnessed. More than anything you want to cry and not worry about the consequences. But things like that are too good for you.

You are sure of it now. Your identity must be hidden forever. The minute anyone finds out your true identity is when you'll suffer a worse death than those prisoners. Your brain and body seem to finally catch up with reality. You give a sad smile to Gorou.

"This is something completely new to me. Truthfully I'm just confused about how to feel about all this. But the creator's feelings are echoing clearly. They are thankful and very happy to see how devoted Inazuma and its residents are but... At the same time, they can't help but feel sad too. Innocent people suffered and even though those criminals are getting their due punishment, they still feel love for them. Because all of Teyvat and its beings are their beloved creations."

Gorou nods his head in understanding before asking.

"But what about you? This must be pretty intense for you as it's your first time."

Gorou really was kind, he's still worried about you. It's too risky to ever open up like you did before but you still need to maintain a close relationship with him.

"You're right, I think I need to step away for a little while. The creator's feelings mixed in with mine are creating a mess." Gorou nods in understanding before holding your hand and leading you away. Your skin pricks at the feeling of being watched so intensely.

Your mind is running a mile a minute to categorize everything you've learned. To think of a plan on what you'll do when you get to Liyue. Yet every time you go into the deep crevices of your mind with thoughts like 'Should I just live in the wilderness forever?' It's Gorou's hand that grounds you back to reality.

Reliable as ever you think to yourself as he sets you down on a bench near the Inazuma City entrance. It's funny how you are being taken care of by him twice in your first meeting. It seems even knowing how he gave a horrible man as a public sacrifice isn't enough to dissolve your love for him.

In fact your love for Ayato, Ayaka, and Thoma as people still existed in your heart. For years you had Genshin and it's people as your only source of safety and comfort. Despite your fear and desire to be away from Ei, you still wished that she would have some form of happiness too.

"Do you want to talk to me about it? If not then I can just sit with you until you're feeling better."

"It's fine Gorou, you should just go ahead and enjoy the rest of the ritual. That man you caught almost did irreplaceable damage to Watatsumi after all."

"You may be right but he's already suffering his due punishment. I'd rather help out my comrade than spit on the defeated enemy."

Gorou's words though encouraging will only lead to more trouble. Not only would you start becoming dependent on Gorou if you relayed your troubles in another metaphorical tale. But Yae's eyes are still watching you and it's quiet enough that her ears won't miss a sound.

Hmm, this plan might be risky but risk is necessary to trick Yae. You chew on your bottom lip while looking away from Gorou.

"I'm just a little sick. All the sugar and excitement wasn't the best combination for my stomach. Just let me have a breather and I'll be good to go. Go on ahead without me, I'll be fine."

Gorou is about to retort but a yell of "General Gorou!" cuts him off. A Watatsumi soldier stands closer to the main area waving their hands.

Gorou sighs and stands up with his tail drooping. He looks apologetically at you while you only smile nervously back.

"Don't worry about me Gorou. Just go ahead, I'll catch up later."

He nods and leaves. Once you're sure he's out of sight you slump against bench in relief. A matching sigh of relief leaves your lips as you tilt your head back and close your eyes.

"Well, aren't you a sneaky one?"

You hide your smile by rapidly sitting up straight almost hitting Yae who was behind you. Her teasing chuckle as you move to stand up and spin around to face her, lets you know that it was successful.

"No need to stand up little one. You're quite skittish for someone that managed to pull that cute doggy general away from me."

You duck your head and look away with a nervous chuckle.

"It's just that I was startled by you. I really mean no offense Ms. Yae." You finish speaking and can't stop your teeth from biting your inner cheek.

Yae smiles at your little tell as she places her hand over her mouth mockingly.

"Startled? By me? I believe you aren't being entirely truthful. But it's fine by me if you want to keep up your little lie. It's just that..."

Your eyebrows pinch in worry as she trails off. She stays silent as you begin fiddling with your hands.

"You'll have to be my precious 'friend' seeing as you stole Gorou from me earlier. At least for a little while."

You light up at her words and smile. Relief is clear in your face as you hold your hands together in front of you.

"Isn't that more of a good thing? I mean everyone says that you are very popular. I guess all the talk about kitsune biting was false!"

You immediately slap a hand over your mouth as Yae laughs at your words.

"Do we now? You must have heard such things from one of my editors."

Your cheeks take a light pink hue as she steps closer and peers down at you. Her gaze is piercing and you turn your head away slightly.

"I-I'm so sorry! Please don't eat me!" You speak with a pleading tone and your eyes screwed shut.

A little zap from her electro-fox hits your forehead making you look at her in confusion.

"I'm not going to eat you little one. My word, do I really have that fearsome of a reputation? That does make me wonder why a little lamb like you is wearing a gold kitsune mask if you are so scared of being eaten."

Time to see if you've built up enough credit for your trick to work. Your eyes wander around the area refusing to look her in the eyes. Your lips start to turn a little red from how harshly you're biting it.

"It was just pretty."

"Even though it's broken?"

"...it was cheaper that way." Your eyes are a little glossy from embarrassment. Your lips tremble as you stare sadly at the ground.

There was an awkward silence after you spoke. On the outside Yae isn't affected by your words but you caught the way her ear flickered for a moment. She's feeling a bit guilty.

Yae was arrogant and for good reason too. But it was also this arrogance that helped you get to the point where she won't ask about the mask anymore.

She can't help but feel the need to tease someone easily embarrassed like Gorou. By mimicking that flustered state with a dash of enthusiasm due to your first appearance being so energetic. You made yourself a perfect target for her to underestimate.

This paved the way for her to feel superior to you. That's why such an easily faked tell like biting your lip or really any area of your mouth worked so well. Made sense since most highly skilled people find the beginner tasks the hardest after they become masters. Something about being too used to harder things makes them either look too deep into simple things or overlook it completely.

You only could pull this act and not reveal your oracle due to Yae not feeling any bond. Ayaka didn't feel any bond or familiarity because you never pulled her. You didn't pull for Yae either and it seemed your theory is correct. Since she doesn't sense your divinity, she has no real interest in you besides your mask.

You can only hope that you managed to swindle her enough for her to lose interest in you completely. She wasn't heartless but she also had no problem leaving people to suffer unless it concerns someone she cares about.

The smell of burning flesh reaches the area and your act falters. You cough and wipe away a small tear. You peek at the fire that completely enveloped the arsonist and the black smoke rising. Your face grimaced at the sight of it. Was that samurai still bleeding to death?

Even from far away you can hear the people cheering as the stake falls down. You can imagine the way the burnt corpse crunches as it hits the ground. Was that shrine maiden head and body still there as it grows cold and stiff?

Yae tilts your head to look at her using her wand stick. The ribbons tickle your skin as you look up at her making sure to keep your eyes reminiscent of a doe.

"If you think your little act was enough to fool me then you're wrong." Shit, did she see through you at any point? No, it can't be. The only thing you let slip was your distaste.

"Stepping away from the ritual to avoid watching any more of the bloodshed is quite selfish. It's our job as the creator's subjects to dirty ourselves with blood in order to keep our creator pure." You recognize this from the book you translated to read. It spoke about the people of Inazuma only offering blades never used, therefore 'clean' to the archon. It seems it applies even more to you as the creator.

"Inazuma is filled with bloodshed, I suggest you learn to live with it. The Shogun fought numerous wars for this nation and even more for the creator."

You keep your mouth shut. As much as you would like to retort and speak against it. You really can't afford to bring any more attention to yourself. Your safety is on the line.

You keep a sad and guilty look on your face as you listen to her.

"Are you from Inazuma? It's honestly quite disappointing if you are, a resident not knowing Inazuma's history with the creator is a crying shame."

Shame bubbles up within you for not being able to speak your true thoughts but you use it to your advantage instead.

"I'm sorry... I just don't know how to read. I'm one of the residents forced out of Yashiori Island due to the war and tatarigami. I'm really sorry."

Another silence ensures and you don't even have to look at her to see the pitying look. It seems you were right about her feeling bad for those affected by the war. It was only a guess due to the counseling services she holds for samurai returning from war but it paid off.

"Don't look so pitiful like that, you're making me look like the bad guy. Nevertheless, ignorance is not an excuse to do wrong. I expect to see you stay for the whole ritual next time."

Yae only gives you a glance before leaving. You keep your head down as her footsteps slowly get quieter. You wait an extra second before slumping onto the bench and groaning.

This was exhausting, you couldn't wait to be on the boat to Liyue already. As you sat there trying to ignore the loud cheers from the main area thoughts of what Yae said kept trickling in.

It's the people's job to be dirty with blood for the creator? Bullshit. Even if some people were overzealous and wanted to sacrifice evil people, they shouldn't force other regular believers into it!

Just how many people were peer pressured into joining the cult's violent nature? If this whole creator religion started so long ago then what if those who refused to participate were turned into sacrifices? That would have forced people to join in fear of being killed.

After centuries or even millenniums of this pattern, this obsession and violence became normal and even expected behavior. As much as you enjoyed almost everyone's company, you could not afford to stay even a day longer. They may start expecting you to join in on stuff like this. You are no stranger to death and violence but Teyvat was supposed to be your chance to change. Not for you to find a new reason to inflict harm, especially for a religion about yourself.

Through the smoke and noise of everyone partying, you can smell the incense Ayaka lit earlier. Just a few minutes to relax you tell yourself. Bringing your knees to your chest to sit in a fetal position on the bench, you hide your head. You watch two cats play fight nearby as you think.

You just need a minute to decompress.

The beginning with Gorou wasn't the best but I think I got it to improve as the chapter went on. The real struggle was Yae. Personally I'm not that fond of her and writing her was hard. I hope all you Yae lovers weren't too offended, I really did do my research to keep her in character. This was actually half of a chapter but I really wanted to publish something. 10K words here instead of 15K like the other one is progress in my book. I'm trying to find a happy middle of 'long enough that it doesn't drop off' and 'not long enough that editing makes me cry'. Besides I wanna spread out the trauma I'm giving reader. Gotta save some for next chapter. All the comments and hearts are very appreciated!

Taglist: @vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @sielt, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @conspicuous-mayonnaise, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention If you are in italics that means I couldn't tag you! Usually you'll need to check your settings to fix that.

#yandere genshin impact #whisp's amateur work #yandere genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin sagau #genshin impact x reader #yandere sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau #sagau x reader #yandere thoma #yandere gorou #yandere ayato #yandere ayaka x reader #yandere yae miko #yandere x reader #oracle au #yandere x y/n

[jessicalprice]

christian universalism strikes again

(Reposted from Twitter)

So a rabbi I know came back from LA pretty jazzed about a Jewish addiction treatment facility there called Beit T'shuvah and so we talked about their approach and that got me curious about non-AA approaches to dealing with addiction which, my friends, was fascinating.

I’ll admit that almost everything I know about AA is more or less from The West Wing. I'm fortunate in that no one in my immediate family has dealt with substance abuse issues, and as far as I know, none of my close friends are alcoholics. My knowledge is pop culture knowledge.

But hearing about Beit T’shuvah was very interesting to me because:

I'd heard that a lot of people who aren't Christian have a hard time with AA because it's so Christian.

The difference in philosophy was subtle at first glance but actually paralleled a lot of the differences between Judaism and Christianity if you dug into it.

Anyway, I got curious about whether success rates were different for Christians vs. non-Christians and started googling. I didn't find much in the way of the data I was looking for, but I did find something a lot more disturbing, which is that the whole 12-step thing is not science-based. At all. For example:

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse compared the current current state of addiction treatment to medicine in the early 1900s, when there weren't a lot of standards for who could practice medicine. In order to be a substance abuse counselor in many states, you don't need much more than a GED or high school diploma.

A 2006 survey found "no experimental studies unequivocally demonstrated the effectiveness of AA or TSF approaches for reducing alcohol dependence or problems."

And I want to make clear here that I'm not saying AA is bad--clearly it's helped people. The problem is that it's touted as a universal approach, which is a problem when it's not based on any sort of actual science. 

AA claims that its success rates for people who "really try" are 75%. (And boy does that mirror gaslighting diet language.) But the most precise study out there that's NOT coming from AA (https://amazon.com/dp/B00FIMWI1O) put actual success rates at 5-8%. One of the major textbooks on treating addiction ranks it at 38th out of 48 on its list of effective treatments.

So just like most fad diets, it fails for almost everyone who tries it, and then blames the individual for its failure.

A glaring issue is that the 12 steps don't really acknowledge--or provide any guidance or structure for dealing with--other mental/emotional health issues. That’s a giant problem when people with substance abuse issues have higher than average rates of those issues. (Take a moment to consider how the victim-blaming approach of “if you didn’t succeed, it’s because you didn’t try hard enough” is going to intersect with someone’s major depression.)

Now, if 12-step programs were just one available treatment approach out of many, this wouldn’t be that big of an issue.

But 12% of AA members are there because of court orders. Our legal system is requiring people to undergo treatment that is: 

Christian-based

Not scientifically supported

A failure for the vast majority of people

I mean, here's a pretty comprehensive breakdown that talks about the lack of scientific support for it, alternative treatments (like those in Finland, and naltrexone), and the fundamentalist origins of AA. 

The founder was a member of the Oxford Group, an evangelical organization that taught that all human problems stemmed from fear and selfishness, and could be solved by turning your life over to divine providence, basically. Sound familiar? He based AA on those principles, and given that the only alternative was "drying out" in a sanatorium, and that AA members would show up at bedsides there and invite inpatients to meetings, it must have looked really enlightened to people. In 2022, it bears a queasy resemblance to evangelizing to people in prison, literally a captive audience. 

To be fair--to their credit--they were some of the first people out there saying alcoholism was a disease, and not a moral failing. But they didn’t treat it like a disease when it came to testing treatment options:

Mann also collaborated with a physiologist named E. M. Jellinek. Mann was eager to bolster the scientific claims behind AA, and Jellinek wanted to make a name for himself in the growing field of alcohol research. In 1946, Jellinek published the results of a survey mailed to 1,600 AA members. Only 158 were returned. Jellinek and Mann jettisoned 45 that had been improperly completed and another 15 filled out by women, whose responses were so unlike the men’s that they risked complicating the results. From this small sample—98 men—Jellinek drew sweeping conclusions about the “phases of alcoholism,” which included an unavoidable succession of binges that led to blackouts, “indefinable fears,” and hitting bottom. Though the paper was filled with caveats about its lack of scientific rigor, it became AA gospel.

And then Senator Harold Hughes, who was an AA member, got Congress to establish the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, which promoted AA's beliefs, and sometimes suppressed research that conflicted with them:

In 1976, for instance, the Rand Corporation released a study of more than 2,000 men who had been patients at 44 different NIAAA-funded treatment centers. The report noted that 18 months after treatment, 22 percent of the men were drinking moderately. The authors concluded that it was possible for some alcohol-dependent men to return to controlled drinking. Researchers at the National Council on Alcoholism charged that the news would lead alcoholics to falsely believe they could drink safely. The NIAAA, which had funded the research, repudiated it. Rand repeated the study, this time looking over a four-year period. The results were similar.

The standard 28-day rehab stay, prescribed and insured:

Marvin D. Seppala, the chief medical officer at the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation in Minnesota, one of the oldest inpatient rehab facilities in the country, described for me how 28 days became the norm: “In 1949, the founders found that it took about a week to get detoxed, another week to come around so [the patients] knew what they were up to, and after a couple of weeks they were doing well, and stable. That’s how it turned out to be 28 days. There’s no magic in it.”

The last sentence here (bolded for emphasis) is especially chilling. 

That may be heartening, but it’s not science. As the rehab industry began expanding in the 1970s, its profit motives dovetailed nicely with AA’s view that counseling could be delivered by people who had themselves struggled with addiction, rather than by highly trained (and highly paid) doctors and mental-health professionals. No other area of medicine or counseling makes such allowances.

There is no mandatory national certification exam for addiction counselors. The 2012 Columbia University report on addiction medicine found that only six states required alcohol- and substance-abuse counselors to have at least a bachelor’s degree and that only one state, Vermont, required a master’s degree. Fourteen states had no license requirements whatsoever—not even a GED or an introductory training course was necessary—and yet counselors are often called on by the judicial system and medical boards to give expert opinions on their clients’ prospects for recovery.

And, again, the idea that this is the One True And Only Way to deal with alcohol abuse leads to medical professionals ignoring research and treatment options that could be helping people. They are, in essence, taking all this completely on faith. 

There has been some progress: the Hazelden center began prescribing naltrexone and acamprosate to patients in 2003. But this makes Hazelden a pioneer among rehab centers. “Everyone has a bias,” Marvin Seppala, the chief medical officer, told me. “I honestly thought AA was the only way anyone could ever get sober, but I learned that I was wrong.”

Stephanie O’Malley, a clinical researcher in psychiatry at Yale who has studied the use of naltrexone and other drugs for alcohol-use disorder for more than two decades, says naltrexone’s limited use is “baffling.”

“There was never any campaign for this medication that said, ‘Ask your doctor,’ ” she says. “There was never any attempt to reach consumers.” Few doctors accepted that it was possible to treat alcohol-use disorder with a pill. And now that naltrexone is available in an inexpensive generic form, pharmaceutical companies have little incentive to promote it.

I'm not saying that AA is bad. I'm saying its hegemony is bad. It clearly is effective for some people--a minority of people. But it's not for the majority of people, and that's a problem when it's being prescribed by courts (and doctors) as if it's a one-size-fits-all approach.

It’s not an accident that a Christian approach to treating addiction presents itself as the One True Way For All Humankind, insists that courts and doctors privilege it, demands that people take its effectiveness on faith, and blames anyone for whom it doesn’t work for not believing/trying hard enough.

Hegemony is a problem. 

(Photo credit: Pixabay)

#christian hegemony #addiction #christian supremacy #aa #maybe courts should be recommending treatment with a better than 8% success rate and actual science behind them just saying

[theminecraftbox]

to be honest, I think fandom exaggerating dream's analytical and intelligent abilities dream's plan is literally so stupid, like, many refer to it as "ignoring feelings for the sake of strict calculation, the end justifies the means blah blah blah a smart, logical plan that will nevertheless lead to psychological dissatisfaction", but the plan is literally the most ill-conceived thing I ever heard, like, that's not even a plan?? they're testing the revival book in hopes that one day it will somehow help them achieve immortality and restart the server - that's just ridiculous and I also have no idea how dream expects that restarting the server will solve his/their/servers problems, like how is that supposed to work? and this “if we are immortal, no one will have to suffer and we can live forever and know and blah blah blah” such naive crap, honestly I could ask a thousand probing questions or give a thousand reasons why this plan wouldn't work in any reality, and I doubt dream wouldn't have asked these questions in the months they've been running their tests; the plan is literally just his feelings: afraid to die → need immortality, lost everything and it's killing me → need a restart and so on - there's no analysis behind this shit

I literally find it strange not the fact that punz allows this, although the plan harms dream, but the fact that he really believes in this plan and follows it, like, come on, punz is +- fine, there is no trauma that can overshadow his ability to think, why is he indulging in this stupid idea?

strongly agree / agree / ambivalent / disagree / strongly disagree / don’t care whatsoever

I think you're conflating a bunch of things. Dream's plan is not the same as his methodology. His methodology is not the same as his motivations. Having emotional reasons for a plan is not the same thing as that plan being stupid. "lost everything and it's killing me → need a restart" isn't a description of a stupid plan, that's a description of an over-emotional motivation for a plan. Just because you disagree with what his goal was trying to achieve doesn't mean that the strategies he took to achieve that goal were stupid.

Like, take staged finale as an example. I can argue that it's overkill or a poorly considered goal to imprison himself in dangerous circumstances chiefly to achieve a) protecting his close ally b) getting the server off his back and c) getting a sick base. But I won't claim that the steps he took to set up and execute staged finale aren't evidence of someone successfully using strategic thinking to accomplish his goals, which is generally what people are talking about when invoking strategist!Dream.

Dream expecting that his plan will fix his emotional problems isn't stupid in that it's a failure of logic. It's stupid in that it's a failure in identifying that his problems are actually emotional. Which gets covered pretty handily in the genuine finale! Tommy didn't say "your plan is stupid because you neglected to consider these reasons that curing death won't actually work." Instead, Tommy said, "your plan is stupid because you're failing to see that you're hurting people here and now and you could have the friends you want here and now if you just put down your damn book and make peace." which, I'm gonna be honest, also sounds a bit like naive crap to me.

Also, you're acting as if his plan is based simply on an unspecified fear of death when all signs point to it literally being a reaction to the existence of the revival book! Like, sure, when you phrase it like "hur dur maybe this magic book will fix my problems" it sounds pretty stupid. But what actually happened was more along the lines of "permadeath didn't exist on this server as a concept, now it does. revival didn't exist on this server as a concept, now it does. maybe one of these can be used to fix the other." Which is pretty damn straightforward to my eyes!

I really, truly don't see what the problem is with "plan fix death" when you literally have a necromancy book. (Like, logistically, not ethically or whatever.) It seems like the supernatural complications with the balance of life and death, whatever XD's deal is, the server reset, Foolish and the experiments upsetting the balance, all of that, came later (and lacks its conclusion for doylist reasons). but WHY the complaint that fixing death doesn't make sense????? that's like. thing numero uno when you have a damn revival book. sorry if I'm getting carried away but I've seen this argument before and it genuinely makes no sense to me. Reads the same to me as "if you have a hammer and some wood and nails why are you trying to build a table." maybe because I have the tools for the job?

Not to mention that even if we pretended that Dream's only motivation was trying to stop conflict, the plan "learn how to revive people" is still a really obvious solution! Make conflict not have permanent consequences? that's like. an easy mitigating solution.

Also, there's a more general conflation happening here between Dream's unwellness and a more general notion of stupidity. Which I also disagree with. His paranoid spiral led to him locking himself in a prison, but that doesn't mean it was stupid for him to conclude he needed protection, and that his allies needed protection.

The thing with Punz is a separate question, but it's one that I think Punz has answered handily himself: Punz wants knowledge and power, he says so outright, in simple language. He's not indulging a stupid idea: he's in cahoots with a guy who's brought him a ton of knowledge and power. The revive book is real, it's got real results, and it's shown Punz a glimpse of a world he clearly thinks is achievable: a world in which the supernatural shit has indeed been solved. And I don't see why you think he's silly to believe so, given the evidence he's seen with his own eyes.

#sorry if this seems heated i swear im not mad just got carried away 😭 #discourse asks #the plan

[xerith-42]

I was wrong

It takes a lot to admit that, even more for me to admit that about MCD, but I was wrong about something in regards to this series. In a previous post I said that the worst episode of MCD was Season 2 Episode 95, because it was the culmination of the absolute failure that was Laurance's character arc. And I wasn't wrong about that, S2E95 is an objectively bad episode and I stand by it being one of the worst. But it's only one of the worst episodes of this series. Probably second or third worst.

The actual worst episode of Minecraft Diaries happens far earlier in it's run time than I anticipated. The actual episode that begins the degrading of every single main character happens within it's first season. The worst episode of Minecraft Diaries is Season 1 Episode 65, Our Fears.

For those of you who haven't watched MCD in a minute, or aren't insane like I am and recognize what happens in an episode from just a number and a thumbnail, this is the episode where Aphmau and Dante get chased into Malachi's abandoned castle and fall victim to his uncontrollable magic. A magic that shows people their greatest fears.

Now the concept of a ghost that forces the audience and the characters to come face to face with the leading characters greatest fears is a fantastic idea. I'm serious this is one of the best concepts for character work in the entire Aphverse. This is great, this can go so many good ways.

Aphmau's fear is pretty weak mostly because it shows her house on fire, nobody hurt, and Malachi comments that she's "Scared of losing the ones you love." My honest reaction to this was "She lost her house in episode 36 and didn't seem to care because her loved ones are safe. You wanna communicate that she's scared of people dying just show Zoey lying on the ground or something smh." It gets the job done, but not very well.

Dante's fear is the only one that's well done because it's an image of Gene about to rip apart the realm barrier in the Nether. This works surprisingly well despite only being one shot because it gets across Dante's connection to Gene and the Nether pretty well, setting up for the reveal later on. Dante's existence is this episode's single redeeming quality. And as much as I like the guy, he's not enough to hold up the episode after what happens next.

Now, dear viewer who presumably knows the plot of MCD because you've read this far into a post about this single episode, you know that at this point in the series Garroth has been found out by his brother and has the looming threat of the entire O'Khasis military on his mind all the damn time. Zane has already hurt members of his village in direct ways, and only didn't do more damage because he was called away for an emergency. Garroth has already failed to protect one lord, and he's nearly failed to protect another.

Laurance is a shadow knight. And even though the lore of shadow knights is still flimsy at this point, we know that they are very prone to killing lords, it's why Laurance renounced his position as head guard of Meteli and refuses to return. But that doesn't mean his desire for blood is gone. It just means it has a new target. Like say, the lord he comes to the castle in search of? That he has explicit romantic feelings for?

Again, this idea of forcing the audience and the characters to face their greatest fears is such a good idea, especially with these three, because they can all be interlinked. Aphmau fears losing her loved ones, Garroth fears failing to protect his people, and Laurance fears that he'll give into bloodlust. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? I don't know if I can make it anymore obvious where the show should have gone from here.

But, no, unfortunately Jesson wrote this series. So what could have been one of the best moments of character work in the entire series, instead became the beginning of the end for our would be love interests. I'm of course referring to how it's revealed that their actual "worst fear" is Aphmau getting with... Another guy. Not even her picking one over the other, just her holding hands with and kissing some guy that Garroth and Laurance DON'T EVEN KNOW!

And despite Laurance saying he's happy as long as he has Aphmau in his life, he starts getting enraged that another guy would have the audacity to kiss her. Even though the scene he's shown seems to be entirely consensual. And in response to this, BOTH OF THEM DECIDE TO TRY AND KILL THIS ILLUSION OF DANTE JUST FOR KISSING THE GIRL THEY LIKE!

AND THIS IS SEEN AS A GOOD THING BY THE SHOW!! Attacking this illusion breaks the barrier around the real Aphmau and Dante, and Garroth and Laurance are never punished for their actions here. Aphmau is barely concerned that her guards, the men she's willing to trust with her life, were willing to kill someone for the crime of kissing her. Hot fucking take, Aphmau maybe shouldn't trust these people after seeing that they're willing to kill a man over the crime of loving her when they want to.

And even hotter take, GARROTH AND LAURANCE WOULDN'T DO THIS! Both men have been shown to be highly protective over Aphmau, which makes sense it's literally their job to keep her safe, but that protective nature shouldn't cross over into actively interfering with her romantic life. They're fucking lucky it was just an illusion, what would have happened if Malachi used mind control? What if he was using Aphmau and Dante's bodies as puppets? What if Garroth and Laurance just killed an amateur guard whose only crime was being forced to kiss the girl they liked?

This is one of those writing decisions that truly baffles me. It was RIGHT THERE, HOW DID YOU MISS, IT (the perfect piece of character work) WAS THREE FEET IN FRONT OF YOU! The answer is that Jesson don't really care about the interesting character work, they care about tropes. They care about the main character being in a love triangle with two guys who equally suck but in different ways. They care about fans getting excited and debating over which ship is better. They care about pushing this love triangle onto viewers regardless of what makes sense for the characters involved because the writers fail to see the nuance of the characters that they fucking wrote the nuance of.

I fucking hate Episode 65. Easily the worst episode of MCD. Any episode after this when Garroth and Laurance act horrendously out of character in service of this love triangle (I'm looking at you episode 77, and episode 90, and season 2 episode 95, and season 2 episode 98), know that it started here. It started with episode 65.

Fuck this episode.

#I love being a hater #minecraft diaries #mcd #text post #aphblr #aphverse #laurance zvahl #garroth ro'meave #mcd aphmau #episode analysis #fuck episode 65 #me and my homies fucking hate episode 65 #actually despise this episode

[loveyourlovelysoul]

If you've been highly criticized/yelled at in your past after any sudden decision you've made or if you have been played around or been unappreciated while you were just trying to do something good/nice, the shameful/guilty feeling born at those times may still be lingering inside of you. Anytime you make a sudden decision/choice without asking for confirmation about its nature or give away something from yourself (even something material like eg. a very little amount of money) it makes you wonder if you've done the right thing or if you've been deceived somehow. This happens cause you have unconsciously learnt from similar past experiences that you're "not good enough" or a bit "too stupid/naive" to make good decisions by yourself.

This feeling may have been hindering you also in other situations, like when given an important choice or something similar you may try to avoid taking a final decision without asking for guidance or suggestions to others (generally those who criticized you, like eg. your caregivers), leaving them in charge of your life so that you won't be making mistakes or feel like a failure. But this way, you may end up never really experiencing life as you deserve to. You may end up chosing things you don't want or blocking yourself when given important occasions out of fear to fail and be seen as the usual "stupid" person you were and still are (only in your mind: you're not that for real, ever). You're not stupid nor naive nor any other adjective you have been called/calling yourself: you meant your best and just didn't know what to do exactly or how to act maybe, or you were a bit too impulsive; but you had to try and learn your lesson like that. You were so criticized because you were triggering a trauma in the other person but you had to make that mistake in order to experience life and understand something (and tbh you were very likely made believe that the mistake you made was bigger and much more important than it actually was). Please forgive yourself and remind yourself you have grown and learned all you need to try and protect yourself if that's the case. There's nothing wrong in giving away when done with pure intentions, don't ever feel guilty about it. Even more for giving to yourself.

#words #healing #important #positivity #thoughts #self love #self healing #positive thinking #healingjourney #self care #self help #self support #relationships #childhood trauma #family issues #tw trauma #mistakes #failure #self talk #giving #life #life lessons #recovery #reminders

[blackhairedjjun]

improvisation - c.yj

pairing: choi yeonjun x gn reader | genre / tropes: fluff, a little bit angsty?, fake dating, university au, friends to ???, open / ambiguous ending | word count: 725 | warnings: food mentions

part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)

prompt - UNCERTAIN: while pretending/acting/undercover, the sender says “i love you” to the receiver, but whether they meant it or not is left unknown. (requested by @mazeinthemoon - maybe jjuni who’s normally very shy about his feelings and then when undercover he uses it as the opportunity to say how much he loves reader? :( )

author's notes: hi moon!! thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one of my earliest and biggest supporters, it truly means a lot ♥ i love shy!jjunie and i love the fake dating trope a lot so i'm glad i got to write them both for this prompt! i hope you enjoy!

“so yeonjun, how did you win our little bear over?”

“mom,” you groan, “don’t call me that in front of him…”

yeonjun glances at you with a giggle. “why not?” he says, his teasing smile making your heart beat a little faster. “it’s cute and it suits you.”

your mother grins at him and nods; your father looks up from the chicken he’s eating to raise his eyebrows in approval. at least his impromptu comment is having the intended effect, you think. yeonjun is playing the role of the perfect boyfriend as if he were born for it.

“anyway,” he says, leaning forward across the tiny table in your dorm, “we met in class…”

the story that you and yeonjun tell your parents is mostly true, with a few embellishments that you practiced the day before. the two of you did meet in class, and the two of you did end up being partners for a major project there. you did end up becoming his study buddy after he failed a test, and he did become your lunch buddy after he saw you eating alone. 

but yeonjun talks about how cute you looked on the first day of class, or how warm you sounded when you comforted him after his failure — details he insisted on adding during your rehearsal, and you’re absolutely sure he made them up for dramatic effect. no way in hell would choi yeonjun, resident campus crush, think that someone like you looks cute.

when you call him a sweetheart for offering to sit with you at lunch after your ex-best friend ended your friendship, you know it to be true. but yeonjun calling you cute and warm? no, that can’t possibly be based on reality…

“i asked y/n to date me here in this dorm, actually,” yeonjun continues, his voice soft. “i ordered dinner for them, got all their favorite foods, played their favorite songs… and i said i love them.” he turns to you now, taking your hand in his and kissing it. “and i still do… i love you, baby.”

you freeze. this isn’t what you rehearsed.

but with your mother letting out an aww at your story and your father smiling, you can’t break the illusion. you intertwine your fingers with his and close your eyes, trying to calm the frenzied beating of your heart. why is he going off-script? what does this mean?

“i… i love you too, jjun…” you stammer. your hands are clammy and your face is hot. to your parents, you look like a blushing, lovesick mess.

at least you haven’t blown your cover.

一

the dinner is a success; you’ve managed to convince your parents that you’re happily dating yeonjun and not “languishing alone away from home,” as your mother feared. you should have felt contented washing the dishes while yeonjun dries them and puts them away. everything is going according to plan 一 right?

and yet your mind lingers on the one moment when your friend veered off-script. the soft “i love you,” the feeling of soft lips on your palm. surely yeonjun was merely improvising, convincing your parents of your heart-fluttering romance. but why did it make your heart flutter for real?

“your parents are nice,” yeonjun says as he dries the dishes you washed. “i see why you wanna impress them so much.”

his thoughts interrupt your from your reverie. you were thinking about his improvisation again.

“yeah.” you help him put the dishes away. “they’re a little crazy, but… they’re good to me.”

the question starts to rise in your mind and you feel your cheeks start to burn. all you need to do is ask him: “by the way, where’d that ‘i love you’ come from?” but your throat goes dry every time you try. yeonjun himself never brings it up. silence hangs between you; he looks up at you from staring at the dishcloth in his hands but he immediately turns away, his ears turning pink.

when the dishes are done, he manages to meet your gaze. his voice nearly cracks when he speaks.

“uh... s-see you with your mom again next week?”

“y-yeah... and practice what we’ll say the day before?”

“yeah, of course.”

you’re in such a daze that he’s out the door before you even know it, but he stops to look at you one last time.

“good night, y/n.”

“good night, yeonjun.”

and just like that, you’re left alone to your thoughts.

#txt x reader #yeonjun x reader #txt x you #yeonjun x you #choi yeonjun x reader #kpop x reader #txt imagines #kpop imagines #yeonjun imagines #txt fluff #yeonjun fluff #tomorrow x together imagines #txt fic #txt fanfic #yeonjun fanfic #bhj originals #bhj's 300 follower event 🖤

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑨𝑽𝑨𝑻𝑨𝑹: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑩𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  i'm angry at myself!  ❜ ❛  it's easy to do nothing, it's hard to forgive.  ❜ ❛  you miscalculated. i love them more than i fear you.  ❜ ❛  there is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you.  ❜ ❛  but now you're not letting yourself feel anything. i know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care. but you have to promise me that you won't stop caring.  ❜ ❛  my own mother thought i was a monster ... she was right of course, but it still hurt.  ❜ ❛  in the darkness, hope is something you give yourself.  ❜ ❛  never forget who you are, for surely the world won't.  ❜ ❛  why am i so bad at being good?  ❜ ❛  it is important to draw wisdom from different places. if you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.  ❜ ❛  sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else.  ❜ ❛  and now you have come to the crossroads of destiny. it's time for you to choose.  ❜ ❛  you may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place.  ❜ ❛  protection and power are overrated. i think you are very wise to choose happiness and love.  ❜ ❛  get over here, [ name ]. being part of the group also means being part of group hugs.  ❜ ❛  stop! stop it right now! what's wrong with you? we don't have time for fun and games with the war going on.  ❜ ❛  i'm too young to die!  ❜ ❛  in my country, we exchange a pleasant 'hello' before asking questions.  ❜ ❛  i didn't know what or when, but i knew i'd know it when i knew it!  ❜ ❛  the past can be a great teacher.  ❜ ❛  when we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.  ❜ ❛  there really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this place.  ❜ ❛  failure is only the opportunity to try again, only more wisely this time.  ❜ ❛  i wanted to take out all of my anger on them. but i couldn't. i don't know if it's because i'm too weak ... or if it's because i'm strong enough not to.  ❜ ❛  look [ name ], you're going to fail a lot before things work out. even though you will fail over and over again, you have to try every time. you can't quit because you're afraid you might fail.  ❜ ❛  while it is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.  ❜ ❛  you must never give in to despair. allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts.  ❜ ❛  if we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends too?  ❜ ❛  you know, [ name ], i don't care what anyone else says about you. you're pretty smart.  ❜ ❛  if i try, i fail. if i don't try, i'm never going to get it.  ❜ ❛  let your anger out, and then let it go. forgive him.  ❜ ❛  pride is not the opposite of shame, but rather its source. true humility is the only antidote to shame.  ❜ ❛  life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.  ❜ ❛  the greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same.  ❜ ❛  you stand alone. that has always been your greatest weakness.  ❜ ❛  bad skin? normal teenagers worry about bad skin, i don't have that luxury.  ❜ ❛  in my dream, we were right in the middle of the invasion, and you stopped to use the bathroom. we die because of your tiny bladder.  ❜ ❛  you need to find someone who waits and listens before striking.  ❜ ❛  everyone has to be treated like they're worth giving a chance.  ❜ ❛  i don't need luck, though. i don't want it. i've always had to struggle and fight, and that's made me strong. it's made me who i am.  ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #sentence starters #tv starters #tv sentence starters #rph #type: meme

[starcurtain]

Interpreting Aventurine's Situation

(HSR 2.1 spoilers, watch out!) I think one of my favorite things to come out of Penacony is that the plot has left us with two completely opposite but equally valid interpretations of Aventurine's character. Is he a chosen child or just a "lucky" dog? The story leaves the door wide open for both possibilities.

Under a read more for space:

One Interpretation: Unfortunately for Him, Aventurine is Actually Blessed by an Aeon

If you work from the assumption that the Avgin mythology is correct, and Gaiathra Triclops is actually real (possibly a minor aeon of an unknown path or Ena, if you're on that train), then it's entirely possible, in game, that Aventurine has been blessed by a goddess to the point that he functionally cannot lose any gamble he makes. The odds are, literally, ever in his favor. In this interpretation, it doesn't matter how many gambles he takes with his life as the chip because he will always succeed. Despite how risky his behavior looks to everyone else, he's actually been perfectly safe all along.

But this is especially tragic because it means that, despite his mother's and sister's belief that his blessing will help everyone in their tribe, Aventurine's blessing has only ever extended to himself. He's not an omen of good fortune for his people. His luck was never going to protect his parents, sister, or friends. The goddess of the Avgin chose just one person and left the rest of her people to die.

This is where Aventurine's doubts stem from. He asks repeatedly: If the goddess can bless people, then why is life so miserable for the Avgin? Why do they have to live in pain, suffering, fear, and abject poverty if she could make them lucky enough to thrive? Why do people live if it's just going to be horrible?

(To be honest, I don't think this is out of line for the behavior we've seen of aeons so far. Even with aeons like Yaoshi, described as gentle and benevolent, with no intention to cause harm, their gifts often create horror in the human world.)

Aventurine's hands still tremble when he bets. He doesn't really believe he's blessed and still expects his own downfall at every turn--but it's never going to come because he is one of the few human beings in the entire universe with the direct favor of an aeon. Even Ratio, a skeptical, evidence-based genius, seems to think this might be the case.

(Choosing the Chinese because the text is a little clearer than the English, but basically: "This guy always has a way of dragging himself up out of the abyss, which can't be explained by just 'good luck.' Everyone is waiting to see him fail... Maybe even he's waiting too. But as time passed, I couldn't help but wonder: Will that day really come?")

This means Aventurine has lived a life of fear and uncertainty for nothing. He's spent his entire life awaiting a failure and painful death that will never come. He can't recognize the love of his own goddess nor trust in the faith of his own family.

The central question of this interpretation becomes "What does it mean for a single human to be favored by an aeon?" Can Aventurine really be called lucky after losing every single thing that has meaning in his life--all because an aeon chose him and only him? Should that be called a blessing or a curse?

The Opposite Interpretation: Aventurine Isn't Lucky At All, He's Just Skilled

On the other hand, the story leaves the door open to interpret Aventurine's situation in the complete opposite manner too. If, as the IPC seems to think, Gaiathra Triclops isn't real and Aventurine isn't blessed at all, then that means every single risk Aventurine has taken has actually been life-threatening--and that every single achievement he's reached has been by his own merits alone.

If Gaiathra's blessing isn't real, then Aventurine's life becomes one long self-run psyop: Everyone tells him he's blessed, he's lucky, he's favored--so young Kakavasha starts gambling early. Banking on this idea that he's favored, that he's chosen, he starts paying attention, he learns the tricks of the trade, figures out how to slip cards up his sleeves, how to word things just right so people will take his bait--he practices, practices, practices, until he can spot winning odds a mile away, until he can predict every possible outcome, until he's seen it all before.

In this situation, every single gamble he's ever made or will make carries a very, very real risk of failure--but Aventurine continues to succeed because he's just that quick-witted, just that aware, just that good at reading people. (He's been doing it for so much longer than everyone else he meets, after all.) He is the gambler extraordinaire, the archetypal charming rogue who can squirm his way out of any tight spot he gets into, time and time again.

He fears every gamble he makes because he has good reason to--there's literally never any guarantee that he will succeed, and he's constantly just flipping a coin to see what outcome he'll get. His personal skill and quick wit continue to turn things in his favor, but it's inevitable that one day he'll meet a situation that outwits him, a gamble where only a supernatural force could have saved him. And if you take this second interpretation, Gaiathra isn't real, so there won't be one.

This story choice would be interesting because it implies a greater degree of responsibility for everything that happens. If it's Aventurine's own quick wit and skill that continually save him, shouldn't he be able to help others with that skill? Shouldn't he have been able to help himself? How was he able to save himself from death but not from slavery? If it was skill, not luck, all along, then who do you blame for all the misery he still experienced?

This interpretation leads to greater questions of self-doubt and anxiety: Is it actual skill or just sheer dumb luck? Does Aventurine have what it takes mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and even physically to always come out on top by his own merits, or is he just the benefit of the wheel of fortune--statistically speaking, a one in a million chance still has to come through for that one, right? And when it all comes crumbling down eventually, will he have only himself to blame?

A Life of Uncertainty

The story doesn't actually give us any firm indication whether Gaiathra is real or not, or--even if she is real--if Aventurine is actually genuinely blessed. We just don't know, as players.

And Aventurine doesn't know either.

His faith in the goddess of the Avgin is shaky. He seems to want to believe and hold on to his people's mythology, but he has valid doubts that a goddess would choose to bless one person while leaving everyone else to suffer.

Is he the chosen of an aeon? And if he isn't chosen, then what meaning does any of it have? Is he just unbelievably skilled? Has he merely been lucky up to now? When will this blessing or luck or skill finally fail him?

Aventurine's most defining character trait is the extreme uncertainty that has plagued his whole life. What is true? What should he believe? Is he blessed or cursed? Does he have the talent to back up his massive boasts? Should others put any faith in him--should he put any faith in himself? Should he cling to his people's beliefs or reject the goddess that left him the sole survivor of a cultural extinction?

He can't trust anything. He can't trust his family's faith; he can't trust that he's actually a "chosen one" (because how could he chosen and his family be left to die?). He can't even trust that he's lucky because maybe it was just the years of suffering practice he put in. Then again, he can't trust in his own skill because maybe he's just blessed?

Which is it? Which is it? Which is it?

Nothing is certain. Nothing can be taken for granted. Nothing can be proven empirically true or false. There are no guarantees for Aventurine.

Every single thing in his life is a gamble, and none of that is his fault.

What an amazing character. What a great story. Thank you for the treat, Hoyo!

#aventurine #honkai star rail #hsr meta #aventurine meta #alternate character interpretations #gaiathra #damned if you do #damned if you don't #2.1 spoilers #penacony spoilers

[jellalism]

Wriothesley x GN!Reader fic: Aftermath

You were one of the members of the now-disbanded Beret Society. Now that it's all over, Wriothesley invites all the people involved to his office one by one, to apologize and offer what little comfort he can.

Word count: 1677

Genre: Comfort

Content warnings: Mentions of trauma (no details)

Notes: Reader is gender neutral. Relationship can be read as either platonic or as a budding romance.

Read below or on AO3.

Before the Beret Society debacle, you and Wriothesley were on amicable terms. Not quite friends yet, but there was a mutual interest. He’d strike up a conversation when he saw you sitting at the cafeteria or when you ran into him in the halls. He had even invited you for tea once — something that turned out to be a common interest. 

Then you joined the Beret Society, and it alienated you from the rest of the Fortress — including Wriothesley, your friend in the making. You wanted to talk to him, everyone in the Society wanted to talk to him in some sense, but no one had the guts or the clarity of mind. Telling the Duke everything that was going on was obviously the rational thing to do, but humans aren't as rational as they'd like to believe. A plethora of emotions is more often the root cause of actions they do or do not take. In this case, the prime emotion was fear. If the pay-off seems uncertain, and the price for failure seems infinitely steep, it is a scary thing to even consider taking that necessary action. And so everyone kept silent. You kept silent and kept your distance. 

But now, Wriothesley has finally solved the case. You sit in his office. Every victim of Dougier was invited individually. Not for a stern lecture, but for comfort and apologies. From those who had gone to his office before you, you have already heard that there would even be financial compensation for Wriothesley's "lapse in delivering justice swiftly".

One by one, everyone was called to his office. It had taken a long time before your name was called. In fact, to your surprise, you had been the very last. Does he not want to see you? He may be hurt by your sudden distancing when you joined the Society, you fretted. And once you sat down inside, your worrying didn’t stop. Thoughts still whirl inside your head.

Despite the couch's comfort, your body is tense. You don't lean back against the sofa; instead, you sit upright, hands on your knees, legs close together. As if trying to take up as little space as possible; as if the very room is pressing down upon you. Wriothesley had turned on some music earlier, but even the soft tones of the piano resounding through the office don't manage to put you at ease.

"What kind of tea do you want?" His voice pulls you from your reverie.

It takes a moment for the question to register, and then another moment before you start stuttering and mumbling "I-I don't k-know, whatever you w-want."

From the corner of your eye, you see him turn around and frown.

"I'll just make you that oolong tea from Liyue that seemed to be your favorite when we were..." — he seems to weigh his words carefully — "... talking more often."

He puts a teapot warmer on the table in front of you, lights the candle below it and places the pot on top. "Now, let's let it steep for a couple of minutes." He finally sits down next to you on the sofa, but still at a respectable distance.

"Let's talk.” He takes a deep breath. “I'd like to sincerely apologize for not recognizing sooner what kind of place the Beret Society was. It has done immeasurable harm to people, and as warden of this fortress, it is my duty to prevent such things from happening. I failed. I am sorry."

You can’t find a single word to say. What is this? You knew he'd apologize, but now that it's actually happening, a flurry of unexpected emotions overtakes you. Relief and confusion, fear and happiness. 

"If you want to talk about what happened, I'm here to listen. It’s the least I can do."

It’s the straw that breaks the Sumpter Beast's back. You cry. Not prettily; you bawl. The tension, built up over months, comes out all at once. You hide your face in your hands, trying to somewhat lessen the sound of your sobs, but it's to little avail. Suddenly, you feel a hand on your shoulder. Wriothesley’s hand seems hesitant, as if he's afraid to touch you. But his voice is soft and comforting: "You can cry as much as you like. It's okay. I'll be your shoulder to cry on."

You bridge the distance between you and him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. After a moment, he wraps his arms around you.

"It's okay, I'm here now. Everything is going to be alright."

You let the tears come. For several minutes, you sit like this, his warm arms wrapped around you. Then, finally, you untangle yourself from his embrace. "It was terrible." Your voice is soft and shaky, but the words come out. Wriothesley listens attentively while he pours tea and hands you a cup.

"To have that stuff injected, it's just... the worst possible nightmare."

"Mm-mm."

"And even when it's over, it's not really over. The memories are there and the fear still runs through my veins, like my whole body is riddled with it, like my whole body isn't my own, like it's possessed by an evil spirit that—" You bite your lip trying to hold back the tears.

Wriothesley's arm wraps around your shoulders again. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop it sooner. But I'm here now. You're safe. I'll do whatever I can to make you feel safe again. You won't live those nightmares again."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I took my distance from you, I just—"

"Hey." He places a finger on your lips. "None of this is your fault. Don't apologize."

"But I must've hurt you!" Your voice is barely more than a whisper, but your heart seems to scream it out.

"Well, I can't deny that I was a little disappointed to see you take your distance. But I didn't want to force you to hang out with me, so I just let it be. But that last time we spoke, even though you seemed glad about your membership in the Society, I thought I saw a glimpse of fear flit behind your eyes. In truth, that's what brought me to investigate. To make sure you really were in a good place."

You stay quiet for a moment. Wriothesley did that... for you?

"In that sense, you were instrumental in solving this case. I wouldn't have been on the trail otherwise."

“Thank you.” Your voice is barely audible. 

“It’s my duty and my pleasure to take care of you. It’s my job as the warden of the Fortress to make sure everyone is safe, but it’s my desire to see to your safety specifically. I’m fond of you.” He softly squeezes your shoulder reassuringly. “If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”

You want to speak but are a little nervous. Wriothesley notices. “Whatever it is that’s on your mind, just speak.” His tone is almost commanding, but not unpleasantly so. It’s just the push you need to speak.

“If possible…” You swallow and gather the courage to continue the sentence. “Can we stay like this a little longer? I felt so lonely for so long… I need to feel someone's warmth beside me.” 

Wriothesley grins. “Why did you think you were the last person I called to my office? I have no other things to take care of today, so you can stay as long as you like.” 

“Thanks,” you murmur and snuggle next to him, careful not to spill the tea you’re holding. You take a sip. It’s as good as you remember, and you close your eyes in relaxation. Wriothesley knows how to make tea the right way.

“You really do have good taste,” he says softly. You open your eyes and find him, too, sipping from his own cup. “Oolong is a tea I don’t often have by myself, but maybe I should.” 

“Right?” Some amusement creeps back into your voice. It’s been a long time since that last happened. “It’s such a unique taste. It’s simultaneously delicate and strong.” 

“Like you, then.” He smiles. 

“I—… What?” You look at him in shock, while his smile turns into a genuinely joyful laugh. 

“It’s good to see you flustered like this! I like it! But” — his tone turns more serious — “it’s also true. I know you’re hurt. What you went through is horrible. Unspeakable, in more than one sense of the word. But I have full faith that you’ll get back up. You’re strong like that.” 

“Am I, though?” you whisper to yourself without thinking. 

Despite speaking so softly, Wriothesley still catches your words. “I believe you are.” His words are simple, but he speaks it with such certainty and authority that you are tempted to believe him. “And if you ever feel like you can’t take it anymore, I’ll be here for you. You don’t have to walk the path to recovery alone.”

Instead of speaking, you rest your head against him and close your eyes. You’re tired. You hadn’t realized it earlier, but speaking with Wriothesley, crying against him, shaking, letting go of all the tension… You’re exhausted. And he’s so comfortable. His arm is still wrapped around you. It makes you feel warm and safe. 

“Tired, huh? Rest as much as you need.” 

The scent of the tea, the soft fabric of the sofa, the piano piece on the gramophone, Wriothesley’s strong arm around you, and the warmth he emanates — they all lull you into the most peaceful sleep you’ve had in months. 

***

As you fall asleep, Wriothesley carefully takes the cup from your hands, still half full. He looks at you with a smile. They’re so cute. For a long time, he gazes at your sleeping form leaning against him. Then, with his free hand, he grabs a book that is, fortunately, within arm’s reach. He’s willing to stay here for a few more hours if it helps you rest, body and soul. 

#genshin impact #wriothesley x reader #genshin x reader #wriothesley #wriothesley x gn reader #my writing #fanfiction #its me. im back. with the comfort #comfort is what i DOOOOO baby

[maidenvault]

RotJ makes a point of letting us know that Leia is Luke's sister, they've known this on some level for a long time, and he probably cares more about her than anyone in the world because this gives so much more weight to his conflict at the end of the movie, and I think this is a huge thing people overlook when they argue that him redeeming his father represents a rejection of the old Jedi ways of non-attachment. Because in the moment he has to let go of Leia and his friends to be able to actually save Anakin.

When Obi-Wan tries to convince Luke that he has to kill Vader and there's no other way, he doesn’t really discuss it as an issue of Luke having an attachment to him. I think he knows this isn't really the Jedi way but just like in the previous war, they don't seem to be faced with any good choices. Obi-Wan believes what Luke wants is truly impossible and, having failed to stop Vader when he could have before, of course he's trying to stop Luke from making the same mistake.

But it's significant that in the same conversation, Obi-Wan does warn him that his love for his sister could be made a liability if he's not careful. When Luke learns he has a twin and reveals how strong a connection he feels with Leia because he doesn't even have to be told who it is, Obi-Wan's response sets up how this will play into the climax of the film:

"Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor."

Then when Luke is brought to Sidious, he reveals to Luke that the Rebellion is walking right into a trap as a way to torment and provoke him. Luke gets angrier and angrier while helplessly watching the fleet get ambushed and finally does just what Sidious wants and tries to attack him. But it's Vader specifically threatening Leia that makes Luke totally lose control of his feelings and fight him in a rage.

Luke is basically facing the same kind of test he failed so badly in ESB by running off to help his friends. When Yoda is trying to make him see he's not ready to face Vader and keep him from going to Bespin, he says something that I think is such an underrated quote in its importance to Luke's whole journey:

"Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could, but you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered."

Luke is really lucky he doesn't get killed in Cloud City (or captured, which I think at this point could have resulted in him being turned). Yoda knows Luke is the one person with a chance of defeating the Emperor and Luke just about throws that away.

But at the end of RotJ when Luke cuts off Vader's hand, he surely is reminded of his failure at Bespin and sees the path he's starting down by succumbing to his fears like that again. He stops because he sees he's betraying his loved ones and everything he is. He can only throw away his weapon and confidently tell the Emperor to eat shit then because he's no longer afraid of dying or of those he loves dying. He's done what his father couldn't do and kept his soul intact, which is what Leia would want. Because real love isn't selfishly trying to save someone by betraying what they believe in like Anakin did with Padme. And it obviously has to be an incredibly powerful thing for Vader to see his own son able to do this, even comparing himself to the man he once was ("I am a Jedi, like my father before me").

We remember everything working out okay so it's easy sometimes to forget that Luke gives this triumphant speech when the rebel fleet is getting pulverized outside and things overall still look pretty hopeless. He probably expects he could die at this point. But like Obi-Wan in his own death scene, he knows nothing can destroy him now. And it's the love he feels for his family that gives him the strength to let go.

#luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #leia organa #jedi order #pro jedi #star wars #meta #my meta

[inbarfink]

In general, I feel like Zim’s panic and paranoia are very important aspects of his character that sadly often get overlooked and underutilized in the fandom. I feel like some folks just kinda go ‘oh, well, Zim thinks he is the greatest and most fearsome Invader in the universe so obviously he is certain that he can beat every obstacle’ when… I mean, sometimes he is like this - but some of Zim’s most iconic moments are powered by his fear and anxieties about failure.

So many of Zim’s schemes are motivated by an assumption that Humans are a lot smarter and more observant than they actually are. 

Or even just scarier and more dangerous.

He probably would have conquered the planet in a day if he just directly pulled all of the technology he had at his disposal and marched his way publicly to President Land. But he is just so obsessed with the idea that the Enemy is basically constantly one second away from uncovering him that he just wastes his time on pointless ‘infiltration’ and ludicrously overcomplicated ideas of how to ‘subtly’ take over or weaken the Earth’s defenses via fast-food or the Skool Student Council or Dookie. 

I mean, that is basically Duty!GIR’s big complaint about Zim in ‘GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff’. His progress has been stupid, because he’s been far too Stupidly Subtle about information gathering and world conquest and information gathering for the purpose of world conquest. When literally just heading to the public library and sucking out people’s brains is actually incredibly effective and has no real consequences. 

‘Walk for Your Lives’ is another excellent example of how Zim’s extreme ego and extreme anxiety go together. Zim is driven entirely by a totally made-up arbitrary ticking clock revolving around the idea that the Tallests WILL call again soon and so he MUST get rid of the Time Explosion NOW.

But he’s overconfident in the sense that he is certain that the solution he comes up with is Actually Good and won’t just make everything worse even as literally everyone around tells him it would. 

Enter the Florpus’ plot kicks off with a very similar scenario. Zim just comes up with a Made-Up Deadline and a Made-Up Consequence for ‘forgetting Phase 2’ and just starts… stressing himself up with it. 

On one level I think this is like… also a weird result of his Ego. You know, the logic being that if any potential challenge is not 100% effortless for him, Irk’s most amazing and powerful Invader, then it must be a horrible and fearsome threat. If Zim actually fully admitted that Earth is the stupidest, easiest-to-conquer planet in the universe - he would have to admit that failing to conquer this planet of all planets makes him a huge-ass loser. So instead, Zim salvages his own pride by constantly overestimating the humans.

But I also think in general Zim has a lot of anxiety and nervous energy. Maybe just from all the insecurities and failures he’s trying to deny and ignore all the time? And he’s just channeling them into the only channels he can consciously acknowledge - worrying about his enemies. 

#invader zim #iz #zim #zim iz #iz zim #zim invader zim #iz analysis #enter the florpus #invader zim enter the florpus #invader zim etf #etf #iz etf #iz enter the florpus

[ereana]

Neuvillette X Furina - Sure you can use me as a pillow

Furina can’t breathe.

Everyone is staring at her.

The president of the Spina di Rosula watches her carefully, the triumphant expression fading with every step she takes towards the basin. Navia, she remembers with sudden clarity; the woman is called Navia and she is from Poisson.

Of course.

The click of her heels echoes loudly in the Opera Epicles even amidst the loud rumbling of the spectators.

“Is she really going to do it?”

“Well she has to, doesn't she?

“You actually think she isn’t a god?”

“I mean, it doesn’t look good for her does it?

No. No. No.

She can’t let so many centuries of work go to waste. Not when so much is at stake. Not when ‘mirror-me’ is still working on a way to save everyone. It would be too cruel for it to end this way. 

The show must go on.

She looks down into the water, the vibrant purple tinge would be almost pretty if it didn’t promise her death. She wonders if dissolving will be more or less painful than the performance she’s poured her entire existence into. She doubts it will be more, there’s so little of her left after wearing a mask for so long that comparatively it has to be less.

From above she hears him.

“Due to the inherent risk of the test, Lady Furina, you may—”

She plunges her hand into the water, unwilling to hear him say anything else. Hurt and anger and an affection she tries so hard to keep hidden war for dominance in her chest. She can hear the worry in his voice even if no-one else can. How does he dare when he is the one who put her here?

Because he cares. A voice, small and fading, whispers in her mind. Because despite your lies he still cares and doesn’t want you to be harmed.

Her hand starts to burn. Her eyes snap down to the basin, watching in horror as her arm starts to melt. Heavy drops of water start to splash into the basin - it’s her, she’s the water - and she doesn’t even have time to scream before she’s drowning. Water in her lungs. Her nose. Her eyes. Her throat.

Her painfully human heart gives one last beat.

No!

She doesn’t….

Someone cries out her name as the familiar sound of rain hitting the roof echoes throughout the hall.

She doesn’t want to die without ever truly living.

“No!” Furina yells. Her voice is thick with desperation and fear. “No, please!”

Water. She can feel it on her face. She can’t breathe from the tightness in her chest. Her world is crashing down around her and she has failed.

“Someone…anyone…” she pleads desperately. It’s hopeless. No-one has ever answered her cries before. They echo in her ears alone. She shuts her eyes tightly against the pain.

“-dy Furina.”

Alone. Alone forever on the throne she never wanted, crying for her people that she couldn’t save.

“-rina, listen to me..”

Failure of an archon. Failure as a leader. Failure as a human. 

If her one life could have saved them she would have given it gladly. One life for thousands? Set it against the scales and see the obvious choice.

“...nightmare, please…”

But her life wasn’t worth that much. Not to Celestia. Not to her people. Not to—

There’s a hand on her cheek. It’s cool to the touch but heavy and real. She knows this hand. Furina covers it with her own and grips it tightly. An anchor for her to steady herself  while the world spins around her.

“Breathe.”

A plea. She’s not used to hearing him make those. The single word threatens to burst with everything he’s trying to convey. Her dear Iudex, always struggling for the right words to convey his true feelings.

Furina breathes. She hears him inhale with her. Every breath loosens the knot of terror in her chest a little more until she has the strength to open her eyes.

Neuvillette is there to meet her gaze when she does. There is no chance to see anything else, there is only him and the anguish on his face as he watches her calm down. Furina throws herself into his arms.

They open immediately for her, crushing her against his chest as he shields her from the shadows of her own mind. He says nothing as she buries her head into his shirt and cries out the rest of her fear.

His arms are like steel bands around her shoulders and waist but she knows he would release her instantly if she asked him to. Just as she knows if she asked him to hold her forever he would. 

In this moment Furina is the safest person in all of Fontaine, perhaps even all of Teyvat as the power to control the very oceans themselves surrounds her in a protective embrace.

It takes a few minutes for her to calm down. She doesn’t dare look at him as shame rises to replace terror.

“I’m sorr—”

“Don’t.” He cuts her off, sharply but not unkindly. “You never have to apologize to me, not for anything.” Neuvillette reminds her.

If she were in a better state of mind she would say something about the way his words sound like an oath, whispered into the darkness for only her to hear. The reverence in his tone is blasphemous.

But right now she doesn’t care.

“Stay.” She asks, no eloquent rhetorical flourishes or theatrics to be heard only an honest rawness that makes him squeeze her tighter.

“As you wish, Furina.” Neuvillette murmurs and she lets out a sigh of relief, trusting him to watch over her even in her dreams as exhaustion pulls her to sleep once more.

She flicks one last look at him before slumber takes her. He’s staring down at her with his usual stoic expression but his eyes…oh his eyes are beautiful. Shining with an emotion she’s still too nervous to put a name to.

Her dragon is here and she is safe.

#neuvifuri #genshin impact #focallette #neuvillette #furina #my writing #I love them

[thecherrytarot]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

what do you need to let go of?

pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3

Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates!!

listen to: chamber of reflection by Mac DeMarco.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:

"No use looking out, it's within that brings that lonely feeling. understand that when you leave here, you'll be clear among the better men"

You need to let go of your fear of failure and accept the fact that mistakes are meant to teach you lessons the hard way. You need to let go of your limiting beliefs that were actually set by others for you. I'm getting the message that some of you want to move out of your house because you want to explore and learn more about this world but feel like your potential is being wasted by being stuck in your known surroundings. For some of you, this could be an overly protective parent figure who refuses to let you grow up (I hope this makes sense and doesn't sound too weird) and because of this you are stuck in a dilemma where you feel suffocated by the lack of freedom but at the same time, you doubt if you could achieve your dreams. Going back to the "being stuck in your surroundings" part, some of you might have even pretended to someone else to fit in just so you don't feel lonely and left out but I feel like the majority of you stopped this cause you realized that you were losing your true self to fit in with people who don't really care that much about you, just the person you pretended to be.

You need to let go of your habit of procrastination because you are afraid of the result. You are not only afraid of failing but also afraid of succeding and dealing with new, unknown experiences. You may feel like you are trapped in a situation which is beyond your control but deep down within you, you do know that you have the freedom to do what you want to do you just don't want to take the effort for it. You are holding yourself back from being the best version of yourself. Set boundaries and stand up for yourself assertively instead of stalling confrontations against the 'higher authority" who tells you that you can't do it.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:

"Spend some time away, getting ready for the day you're born again. spend some time alone, understand that soon you'll run with better men"

You need to let go of your habit of neglecting yourself for the sake of helping others, to please them so that they do not feel disappointed in you. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself first and then think about others. Many of you might be the eldest (or have to act like the eldest) children who have a lot of responsibilities and do not have enough time to focus on yourself. I heard someone defending themselves by saying "But I do skin care" this is more than that. many of you could also put all your focus on how you look but neglect other areas such as your diet, mental and physical health etc. Regardless of what it is, the message is to prioritise yourself and give others the space and the freedom to grow on their own.

You need to let go of your habit of building up walls that separate you from the actual reality. You may have felt like you were born and raised in hell and now your feelings and emotions have altered your viewpoint of the world that you see. You may feel like numbing your emotions and desires you are keeping yourself safe. Many of you could use this as a defence mechanism because you were hurt in your past and are now afraid of the present uncertainties. You may feel like "if I don't bring in any change, I'll be safe" but the universe is telling you to bring in the change that a tiny part of you wants. It is asking you to stop denying and avoid changes because you are afraid that it might break the facade of your strength. Let go of the things that no longer benefit you.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:

"alone again"

(it was so difficult for me to get the messages cause the energy felt all over the place but the first message came out strong even though I feel like it is only for a certain number. i know the song is something else but I kept hearing Swing Lynn by Harmless so take however that resonates.)

You need to let go of your obsession with love/ future spouse readings. Sometimes you do not need to know every single detail about your future to feel a sense of control over the situation, confirmation of the future that you obsessively desire or whatever the reason is. There is no harm in reading them but there should be a limit, there are times when we are not meant to know something until it has happened and the best way to manifest something is the law of detachment.

You need to let go of your habit of struggling to say "no" even in situations you do not feel comfortable (like there are two cards indicating this) You need to assert your boundaries, needs and wants with confidence. You need to be honest with yourself and focus on prioritising your actual needs. Bringing discipline and action into your life will help you achieve your manifestation a lot faster than just simply waiting for it to arrive at your doorstep. This will help you bring the balance that you have always wanted. The other side of this is, that you need to let go of your fear of consequences, you may (sometimes unintentionally) give the 'decision-making' responsibilities to someone else so that if and when things go wrong you can blame someone else instead of yourself. It is important for you to take responsibility for your own actions and use them as opportunities to grow instead of feeling stuck in your self doubt.

You need to let go of numbing yourself from the discomfort and confront it. The wisdom, freedom and power that you search in others is already in you, just have to trust yourself and listen to it and give yourself an opportunity to grow. Reflect on your shadow self and learn to face your fears.

Please give feedback <3

#tarot #free tarot reading #tarot reading #general tarot reading #pac reading #pac tarot #pick a pile tarot #pick a card reading #love tarot #future spouse tarot reading #future spouse tarot #free tarot readings