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#it’s the weirdest shit

introspectivememories · 3 months

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been watching mashle and oh my god, the eugenics???? the way lance's parents were so ready to give up their daughter??? no second thought???? just "why did this child have to be born to us?"???? um everyone talking in mash's face about how non-magic people are inherently worthless???? the triple line dude fucking making dolls out of people and somehow no one??? is??? checking him???? and then when questioned immediately jumping into "well humans are little more than mindless beasts and i will become a creator deity and reshape the world in my liking!"????? the, um, corruption in the government??? the way this story is so clearly "h*rry p*tter if it was actually funny"??? the slytherin coded characters are blood purists???? they took out hufflepuff??? one of the magia lupus' mage's powerset was just big shuriken???? another one is rip off kisame???? lance is a siscon and the first thing mash says is "that doesn't make it better"???? lemon is genuinely so fuckin funny??? dot is incel-coded but like in a funny way??? dot says that lance is playing life on "easy mode" cause lance has a good face??? dot likes tea??? dot has good manners??? everybody only has one spell they can use??? finn ames is like if you transported is regular human into this stupid ass world??? i think the old man and the cop have explored each others bodies.

#so many baffling things #the show is genuinely funny tho #mash and lance have something going on and i stg this isn't just me putting my shipping goggles on #also lance is a siscon but like in the most non-weirdest way possible??? like he just doesn't want his baby sis to die #and like yeah the power of her photo is enough for him to fling himself backward into a wall hard enough that it cracks #but he's not like in love with her or whatever. bare minimum victories ig #also when the rap starts it gets sooo hype #not to talk about h*rry p*tter in 2024 but why did they take out hufflepuff??#that was the only good house #everybody else in that world seem insufferable but hufflepuff seemed like you could get along with them #also they need to stop talking shit about non-magic people in front of mash's face #mashle magic and muscles #mashle #lemon irvine #dot barrett #finn ames #mash burnedead #lance crown

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one-vivid-judgment · 2 months

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The Buddy Bingo is the best addition to the series cause some of this information is just ???

• Saeko has 8 different apps on her phone to pay at stores

• Zhao has 20 pairs of the same glasses

• Seonhee cooks gyoza for everyone at the Geomijul pretty much every day

• Tomizawa's favorite food is MOVIE THEATER HOT DOGS

• Seonhee is lowkey an astrology girlie

• Joongi goes fucking nuts renting DVDs (Thank you Seonhee, very cool)

• Zhao is into gacha and a fucking whale to boot

• Nanba fought A FUCKING RACOON

• Tomi wants to run a café and go on a roadtrip with his friends and I think that shit is adorable

• Zhao wants to contact aliens

• Saeko works out lifting an 8 kilos pot

• Adachi's special skill is preparing the shogi board

• Chitose can dance. Saeko can't. Insert something sapphic

• Adachi learned flower language and how to surf to get laid

#like a dragon infinite wealth #yakuza 8 #lad infinite wealth #ryu ga gotoku #infinite wealth #eric tomizawa #chitose fujinomiya #koichi adachi #yu nanba #saeko mukoda #seonhee #joongi han #zhao tianyou #i didnt get joongi yet so idk about him #but im already ready for him to get the WEIRDEST SHIT #joongi is the biggest weirdo of the ichigang and im tired of pretending hes normal #like??? he got so SULKY and CUTE when Zhao tagged along with the others and just went #'must be nice 🙄🙄 getting all the fun for yourselves 🙄🙄'#man's gonna pack his bags and book it to hawaii out of spite im calling it

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shiftythrifting · 5 months

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Found in the same BHF shop as the "I <3 men who whimper" shirt (which i did end up going back and buying)

#thrifting #shiftythrifting #submission #mr. bungle is the shit #mike patton's weirdest shit #band shirts #love it #mr. bungle

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razzek · 5 months

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One thing that's starting to really get to me with the James Somerton stuff is a real strong undercurrent of disdain toward his fans. And yeah, I was one of them. A good scam artist isn't as easy to spot as y'all seem to think. You forget that you have all the information right now. Two days ago most of you had never heard of him and it would have kept going. Anyone can fall for a scam, nobody is immune. I would love to have had whatever resources you guys think we all should magically know about so I could have kept my sad $5 a month I really needed but thought was going to something worthwhile. Some of us can only devote so much energy into things and when you have no idea whatsoever that something is amiss of course you're not going to go digging for sources, why would you when everything is fine as far as you know? I really wish I could have seen the dissenting opinions on him but for many, many reasons that aren't just that the dissenting voices weren't widely circulating at the time all I had was the thought every now and again that "huh that doesn't seem right" and then go on with my day. And I think that happened to a lot of us. So yeah. Say what you gotta say about Somerton, he has more than earned it with the damage he's caused, but maybe don't shit so hard on his former fans because that is going to be you someday with something, it happens to everyone sooner or later.

#james somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #I really am greatful for Harris and Todd's hard work in exposing all of this #and I am glad I get to see the real voices I did like that james was stealing #I'm just tired of all these people jumping on the drama train taking a dump on folks who are also victims of these crimes #razz rambles #this whole situation is upsetting me in the weirdest ways #I'm distraught but I'm not at the same time #and yet it's 6am and I can't stop reading through the tags and seeing the takes I missed #vaspider's essay and remarks from an AIDS pandemic survivor are especially good #I lived through that shit too but had no idea I was living through it #cuz that's what being blind and impoverished in rural community was like #queer wasn't even something I knew I could be until like 2010 #so it's nice to see my own history #it's not just the young queers who have little to no knowledge of our history

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cinamun · 2 months

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People always want a source for facts, especially when they are probably the result of the negative end of said facts. I get it, its so unbelievable and you're so shocked about George Washington and Black people's surnames that, instead of googling your damn self, you send me two paragraphs asking for sources and instead of sources you got blocked.

Stop asking Black people to do labor for you during Black history month.

#now go create another account to follow me from #y'all be doing the weirdest shit #the internet is literally RIGHT THERE

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dadrielle · 1 year

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Y'ever just amuse yourself thinking about Ashton and Imogen getting sent off to do shopping together and getting incredibly distracted by their ratcheting up delight at all the weird things they find to bring back to Laudna? Because that's where I'm at this morning.

#imogen temult #ashton greymoore #laudna #just. buying sashimi x 100 #they get what they were sent out for but also like 10 bags of the weirdest shit imaginable #cr3 #critical role

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waitineedaname · 9 months

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thinking about ed leading a relatively mundane life post-canon while still having all the connections he made during his time as a state alchemist is very funny to me, especially when thinking about his kids' perspectives. several high ranking military officials send them birthday gifts every year. they know four different guys who can turn into animals and this is mostly just a party trick for them. the emperor of xing is a family friend. they go to school and learn about the state alchemists and hear about the youngest state alchemist ever edward elric and they're like "you mean our fucking dad? our loser dad who can't do alchemy and consistently hits his thumb when using a hammer and has a rivalry with our pet chicken? you mean that edward elric?"

#fma #i just love the idea of his kids growing up with the WEIRDEST family connections but not thinking much of it #because it's normal to them #stealing the chicken rivalry idea from scribe because it delights me to no end #ed's children should. like all children. find their father extremely lame #but it's in an affectionate way #someday theyll learn about all the shit he did as a teen #but for most of their childhood he can just be their loser dad who they once caught kissing the emperor of xing on their couch #much to their mother's amusement

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samrut · 11 months

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How can folks look at Tolys and not want to witness him in every single emotional state unhumanly possible?

Like:

Look at him!

#hws lithuania #I just want to see him react to things. Mmkay?#i want him in the best worst and weirdest situations #Feliks gets me that is why he does all that bat shit crazy sht. prove me wrong. smh #hetalia

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thermodynamic-comedian · 2 months

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being flirted with would not fluster jonah magnus and having someone confess their love to him would not fluster jonah magnus but weird fear entity avatar stuff absolutely would. and does. you could pull the smoothest pick-up lines on him and he would not care but jane prentiss pulls up to his office like "did you know that you can be fully consumed by what loves you." and he's like "oh. wait holdf on okay h. wait hold on. okay. um . okay. hhhh,,, okay. uh- um."

#avatars just say the weirdest creepiest shit in his vicinity and he just goes bright red and has to take a second #scary fear entity stuff is just his love language #tma #the magnus archives #tma shitpost #janelias #elias bouchard #jonah magnus #jane prentiss

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warlock-enthusiast · 7 months

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I'm still not over the stupid ass Astarion is gay post and all the people agreeing with it, while shitting on bi/pan people and women. Imagine being so far up your ass that you claim a pan character is gay, because he acts -gay- and calling him a f*g over and over again and then bathing in your own self righteousness.

Why does this shit happen in every fandom. This underlying denial of bi/pan people combined with outright hatred of women enjoying things. holy fucking hell. I'm too old for this shit. Some people need to touch grass.

#personal #fandom wank #you are all blocked #g a h.#this hatred of fxm ships is the weirdest shit #astarion x fem tav is not worse than him with a male tav

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tumbleweed-run · 6 months

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Puppet On a String

(18+, Explicit) Kinktober 2023 Day 14 Selfcest/Cloning

“He’s a bit like a doll,” Gale said looking over at you.

You were focused on him, well another him.

“ A puppet?” You offered, hand straying to the necklace you wore.

Real Gale’s head cocked to the side in consideration before giving a short nod. “Yes, I suppose so.”

The puppet just stood there in the center of your bedroom and blinked. You hadn’t activated control yet so this very accurate puppet Gale was more or less a lifeless toy.

You’d met a version of him back in the Shadowlands, one that beckoned you to a clearing and to Gale. It had piqued your interest that night, he’d been corporeal in a way that most mirror images weren’t. But you’d forgotten about him for some time, other things taking precedence.

After about the tenth question regarding this puppet, Gale had offered to create him. It was more than an incantation, something requiring numerous ingredients to create the shell. You could now appreciate the work Gale had put into him while on the road, all an effort to make that night special.

The form wasn’t permanent, Gale assumed he’d last about a day unless dismissed. He also couldn’t withstand much in the way of damage, that didn’t matter tonight. Because as soon as Gale had offered to recreate him your mind had turned down a far less academic road. Which Gale had, of course, realized.

What he didn’t realize was that the reason you wanted to control the puppet was for a far more depraved reason than desiring a two-person threesome. You’d get to that.

“He’s very accurate,” you mused taking the time to appreciate that little fact.

The puppet was conjured naked (which explained why he’d worn Gale’s armor that night) and was very accurate in all ways. Gale seemed amused by your reaction. He was also the only one in the room with any clothes on. You’d stripped and climbed onto the bed not long after the puppet was made.

“So I just repeat the incantation and I’ll be in control of him?” You wanted to be certain.

“One must think in directives but yes,” Gale agreed, but he paused, “Are you sure you don’t wish me to control it?”

You shook your head, “I’m very certain of what I want.”

Your wizard had the sense of mind to look concerned.

You repeated the incantation as Gale had taught you and almost immediately you felt the link. It was not unlike the link the tadpoles had formed between you and the others, this felt more like being linked to emptiness.

All you had to think was about walking and he did. You were impressed, you’d assumed it would be clumsy like other magical creations but he did a very passable job of imitating Gale. Or maybe that was because your mind had given the puppet that knowledge. It was a strange thought and one you didn’t wish to focus on right now.

The puppet came to a stop before Gale once more.

“Shall we start?” Gale asked looking to you.

You nodded but the puppet didn’t move.

Gale glanced between the two of you for a moment. “Dear, what exactly did you have in mind?” His voice had risen.

You did your very best to adapt a wide-eyed pleading look, which was admittedly difficult given how turned on you were getting. With great joy you realized the puppet was doing the same. “I was thinking,” you drawled, “I could watch.”

Gale swallowed harshly. You didn’t know how to read the flush crawling across his skin, he didn’t seem angry though.

“Do you really think me that conceited?” He asked sounding offended.

Immediately, you shook your head. “No, it’s not you,” you reminded him rising up on your knees, about to go to him, “It’s me, I control him. So it would just be us, like normal.”

“This is very not normal,” Gale asserted.

“Is it really any different than when you pleasure yourself?”

“Yes.” Gale was very firm in that belief apparently.

You pouted. “I want to watch you fuck yourself,” you did your best to make it sound like the most normal request.

Gale froze and you breathed.

“If I say yes,” he began.

“Oh please,” you begged.

“If I say yes, you cannot breathe a word to anyone.”

“I will keep this locked in my head forever,” you promised.

Vaguely, you realized Gale was giving in rather quickly. Too quickly. It occurred to you, not for the first time, that this may not be the first time he’d considered fucking himself with this puppet. Or maybe it hadn’t been him those other times, maybe he’d created puppets of someone else.

Either way, his quick consideration left you with a million questions.

“He doesn’t feel,” Gale reminded you, “I had considered trying to find a way to give sensation feedback to the controller, but I haven’t gotten there yet.”

Now you were certain he’d at least considered this.

“He can speak though,” He continued unaware you were on to him, “try.”

You drew on the experience from your former parasite.

“Hello.” The puppet spoke.

“Oh,” you said breathlessly, “I can do a lot with this.”

Gale, again, had the sense of mind to appear a bit alarmed by your reactions. You grinned at him, wickedly.

The puppet reached forward and place a hand on Gale’s hip, fingers holding on loosely to the material of his shirt that hung there.

“Are you sure?” The puppet spoke.

Gale was enraptured by the puppet now, eyes skating over its form. Then he nodded, licking his lips as he did. You smiled, and the puppet did as well. Wizards and their egos.

Gale was unusually passive as the puppet removed his shirt. Not resistant just not participating as you’d hoped.

“Touch me,” the puppet said, and delighted you realized his intonation changed at your whim.

Gale’s eyes dashed to yours. You pouted rather dramatically, very careful to not transfer this to the puppet. Gale reached out and resting his hand against the puppet’s chest. It wasn’t much, but it was certainly enough for you to continue. He was pliant as the puppet pulled down his pants, instead of letting them fall to the floor he knelt, guiding them the whole way.

Gale’s brain may have been unsure, but already his cock was interested.

The puppet remained kneeling, though he braced his hands on Gale’s thighs, looking up at him.

Your breath was stolen for a moment, immensely distracted by the tableau in front of you.

Slowly, giving Gale all the time in the world to back out, the puppet leaned towards his cock. When Gale didn’t object, the puppet pulled him into it’s mouth. Gale moaned, his head dropping back. This part would be a little tricky, you realized, normally, this was done by sensation. Not knowledge.

“I need you to help here,” you warned him, “don’t hold back.”

Gale nodded, Adam’s apple bobbing as he did.

The puppet began working it’s tongue. Gale moaned, a hand immediately coming up to thread through it’s hair. His hair.

You drew on every memory where you’d been in the puppet’s place. It seemed enough because Gale was moaning freely. The brief glimpses you caught of his cock when the puppet pulled back confirmed he was completely hard now.

“This is very, very wrong,” Gale groaned, in contrast to his words though, his grip in the puppet’s hair had tightened.

You saw an opportunity.

The puppet pulled back. “Fuck my mouth?” it pleaded, turning overly familiar puppy dog eyes upwards.

Gale looked down, eyes blown wide before looking to you. “Is that… is that how I sound?” he was torn between the two of you.

You laughed, “yes and no. But,” you supplied helpfully, “that is how you look.”

Gale swore but gripped his cock. He led it back to the puppet who eagerly swallowed it down. Both of Gale’s hand went to it’s hair though he paused. You worked hard to remember the feeling of your own throat when you went pliant below someone. Subconsciously your own muscles did just that. It worked, it seemed, because Gale slowly began thrusting into the puppet’s mouth.

As you watched Gale fuck his own mouth, you slid your hand between your thighs. Unsurprisingly, you were wet, you had been just at the idea of this little venture. But to see it actually come to life was lighting things within you that could not be normal.

You’d never been normal.

Gingerly you began rubbing your clit, careful not to lose focus on the puppet’s controls. You moaned, and then the puppet did. Gale followed, enjoying whatever sensation the sound had brought on. He was fucking into the puppet’s mouth far rougher than he’d ever dared to do to yours.

You rolled your flattened tongue, imagining the weight of Gale’s cock on it. Gale cursed under his breath, hips slamming into it in a way that would have damaged a real person.

You were thrilled to see him this uncontrolled.

“I dont…” Gale began, and immediately, the puppet stopped it’s ministrations with it’s mouth. “I don’t want to come in his mouth,” Gale continued after taking a moment to catch his breath.

“Do you want to fuck me, or him?” You asked breathlessly.

“You, always,” Gale answered pulling away from the puppet.

Quickly, you straightened your legs, and then he was there. Gale’s fingers found your center before he’d even gotten onto the bed. One digit immediately slid into you.

“You’re so wet,” He said sliding his finger in and out of you, you whined, falling back onto your elbows. “There is so much wrong with us,” Gale said softly before adding a second finger.

You smiled, happy he hadn’t singled you out in the wrongness of this situation. Instead, it was the two of you together, as it would always be. You moved the puppet behind him, taking care for it to walk noisily so as not to take Gale off guard.

“Oil on his fingers,” you directed, the puppet lifted it’s hand.

Gale pivoted slightly and then there was as sheen across the puppet’s fingers, dripping down it’s palm.

“You inside me first” you directed breathlessly.

Gale grabbed your hips and dragged you further down the bed. In the same motion, he slid into you. You moaned. Locking your legs around Gale’s thigh you shook your head in an effort to focus. The puppet inched forward a little and when Gale’s head dropped down into your shoulder you knew you’d been successful.

For a beat the slick sounds in the room came from only the puppet as he worked his oiled finger into Gale. You felt when he hit home, Gale’s cock twitching inside you. A short time later Gale began to move inside you finally. Almost immediately he was fucking you hard, no doubt slamming his hips back onto the puppet’s fingers.

You moaned at the thought, desperately wishing you could see. Gradually it became difficult to focus both on the puppet and your own arousal building as Gale fucked into you.

“Fuck,” You moaned, hand gripping his shoulder as your head fell back onto the bed, “I can’t keep-”

Whatever else you wanted to say was lost as Gale grabbed your leg to pull it up, thrusting into you deeper now.

“Let go,” Gale ground out through his teeth.

And you did. You came with a yell hips snapping up to meet Gale’s. He followed not long after, spilling into you with a groan, head buried into your shoulder.

As you came back to yourself, you moved the puppet away. Gale keened into your skin as the puppet pulled his fingers from him. You reached up and pulled the necklace from around your neck, it dragged through your sweat-slick skin.

“I would not be opposed to doing that again,” you said breathily.

Gale, the real one, groaned.

#Gale x reader #Gale x tav #Gale x Gale #???????#selfcest #kinktober 2023 #I will not be held accountable for this work #hahaha this is probably some of the weirdest shit I've written #sorry it's so late I've been sitting in the rain at soccer games all day #only to come how and write this offense to the gods

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