#it's a joke they would never

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[pencilscratchins]

atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren

#back to my roots #atla #zuko #sokka #toph #avatar the last airbender #avatar #to everyone arguing whether or not it’s accurate to say they do have ODS consider a few things #a) it’s a joke i made while high #b) toph wouldn’t care she would just say shit to piss them off because she’s 12 #c) maybe welcome joy into your life. consider taking even a second of a break from whatever compels you to ruin my desire to post #and just chill. because this is and has never been that deep #art #my art #my fan art #fan art #is this the last thing i ever post on tumblr? who knows #im high and its 2am lets get wild

[fox-guardian]

i think my favorite part about the tma liveshow with the Dog Incident is the fact that it's canon. like the fluff episodes are cute and fun but they also aren't canon and weren't written to be considered potentially canon, they're just fun lil fan things. the liveshow tho is meant to be considered canon. which means that yes, jon did in fact canonically go "like, in general?" to being asked if he'd seen a dog (which let's be real that's a mood i would also do that if caught off guard)

but also essentially jon was like "okay so you work for me, cool, and i could Fire You If Don't Fix This Immediately" and martin literally Looked This Man In The Eyes and said "i mean yeah, probably heh :) oH-" with the gayest processing delay i've ever heard in my LIFE. i honestly don't think that was any of his little manipulations of getting people to underestimate him or whatever i really think he was just that gay about Handsome Man With Nice Voice Speaking Authoritatively At Him that it took him a minute to process. and that's CANON. that's REAL. he DID THAT. i can't get over that.

#ramblings with major #the magnus archives #tma #speaking of the liveshow i wish someone would do a lil animatic of tim's bit. i sure do wish some artist who enjoys tim stoker would do tha #i sure wish. i sure. i do so wish. some OTHER ARTIST who has TIME- #(jokes aside my goodness do i wanna do an animatic for that bit. but i have never done a proper animatic in my life it would take so long)

[percki]

‘why would zuko do that’ he is sixteen years old. ‘i don’t understand zuko’ are you or have you been sixteen years old. ‘zuko just makes bad decisions’ he is sixteen years old. ‘zuko burned down kyoshi island’ he’s literally sixteen years old. ‘zuko kidnapped a twelve year old and dragged him through the snow for hours’ yeah sure but he was sixteen years old. ‘zuko hired an assassin to capture aang, and said assassin went rogue and attempted to kill everyone’ yeah well he’s not good at critical thinking. he’s sixteen years old

#this post is a joke. i love zuko i would hit him with my car and then cradle his head like a dying baby deer #atla #zuko’s literally just a wet cat sorry. he’s not good at making decisions #this is a criticism of the ‘zuko can do no wrong’ ppl but ALSO a criticism of the ‘zuko is inherently bad and can never change’ ppl #two criticisms for the price of one post hehe #avatar the last airbender #prince zuko #zuko #talk tag

[brucewaynehater101]

The batfamily, after finding out another really important secret, are under the impression that Tim doesn't trust them. Why else would he wait for the last possible minute to inform them of his personal information?

Bruce sets up more team bonding (family time) to try to mitigate this.

Dick drops by Tim's office more with lunch to hang out.

Jason uttered out a really awkward but heartfelt apology about some past wrongdoings.

Steph hauls Tim over her shoulder and then plops him down into outings such as the movies or zoo.

Damian told Tim that his photos are so bad he might as well just give Damian copies of them.

Duke, trying to get to know Tim better, challenges him to see who can solve puzzles faster. He also brings fun inventions to Tim's workshop for them to do together.

Barbara sets up monthly code nights with Tim. She also occasionally passes along fun missions he could do with his siblings.

While all of this is nice, Cass and Alfred know the truth. Tim just finds it funny to watch his family blink rapidly and then go through five stages of grief whenever they unlock more background lore.

#dc comics #dc universe #tim drake #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damian wayne #steph brown #barbara gordon #duke thomas #cassandra wayne #alfred pennyworth #tim does have secrets he will never tell the bats #most of his secrets are just his hoard of information to weaponize at funny moments #he's basically playing CAH but with his trauma to see which would be funniest to the current situation #let tim joke about his trauma

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU #I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track) #The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more. #I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by #and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles! #Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise! #I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space. #It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is #You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together: #I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper. #I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything. #You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there. #Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite. #day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less: #'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all) #This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly. #(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)

[saladdish47]

Do you think that Jadzia would be at Quark's playing tongo and during one of the games that she won she'd be like "I guess I'm one step closer to becoming a TRILL-ionaire. Eh? Eh????" and absolutely nobody would laugh but she'd have this stupid big grin on her face like the whole station heard and thought it was the funniest thing ever

#she thinks she's soooooo hilarious #because she is #then quark would tell her to never make that joke again #jadzia dax #ds9 #jadzia #i cannot be the first person to think of this

[comradekatara]

in which zuko is still adjusting to the group dynamic, and katara's got jokes

#id in alt text #atla #avatar the last airbender #i like to think that this is set at the western air temple #when katara still hates zuko's guts #but she would simply never miss an opportunity to make a mean joke at toph's expense #zuko #aang #momo #katara #aang&zuko #aang&momo #momo&zuko #katara&toph #art #mart #[aang voice] good one katara! #if katara wonders why her dinner has 50% more sand in it than usual that night. well that shall simply remain one of life's great mysteries

[lineffability]

petition to have crowley and aziraphale kiss under the bandstand as a beautiful mirroring of their first breakup, it is raining around them but they are sheltered and safe, together under a canopy, there's no need to protect the other from the rain because the distance between them has been bridged (at last, at last, heart to heart) reblog if u agree

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #a/c #my omens #(addning in the tags bc ive seen some people comment: the petition part is a JOKE) #i would never omg #could you imagine

[runningwithscizzorz]

“Despite everything, it’s still us”

This game is EIGHT YEARS OLD?? I REMEMBER THIS COMING OUT…. IM GETTING O L D??

I could say a lot about how much I love this game and how it’s carried me through my art journey and was one of the main points of my life that started my love for comics, but we already know this game is completely phenomenal. Anything I could say has been said a billion times, haha. I love this game so much and am excited for the new Deltarune chapter✨

#undertale #undertale anniversary #chara #frisk #asriel #asriel dreemurr #chara undertale #frisk undertale #frisk fanart #frisk the human #undertale fanart #illustration #gosh I genuinely remember being a sad little kid and seeing undertale fanart for the first time being confused and curious #and I never would have guessed it would have sent me down such a gigantic fandom rabbit hole (haha falling down joke) #I really really love this game #liseysart

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #on this installment of things nobody asked but i'm going to talk about anyway #disclaimer that this is mostly a joke please don't get mad at me #(legit no shade to anyone) (speculation is one of the fun things about an ongoing fandom and you never know what'll turn out to be true!) #more seriously i do think there may be some connection that just isn't clear yet #but the more little breadcrumbs we get about what revaan was like the more i think crowley just doesn't act like him #i adore crowley don't get me wrong #(yes he's a dipshit. this is a feature not a bug.) #but like. #not to harp on the scene about lilia's nrc invitation (i am absolutely going to harp on it) #i do not believe that crowley would go through the trash to fish out the pieces and put them back together and save them #just because it was lilia's. just because lilia might want it again someday. #crowley can ✨yasashii✨ all he wants but we know what he's like #and i REALLY do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him. i didn't believe it before and i extra don't believe it now. #then again i do tend to be incredibly off about speculation so! who knows! i will trust the writing for now! #i do 100% believe that meleanor would fall in love with the world's biggest dumbass and then double down super hard. that part tracks. #that said i have decided that ambrose being revaan is actually the funnier option just because it would make crowley SO mad #it wouldn't make sense for him to be mad about it and that would just make him madder

[haunting-hole]

heterosexual doomed yuri

#i'm just joking but i love their vibes #weirdo4weirdo #dungeon meshi spoilers #milsiril #mithrun #what if i hated and resented elf society and all it's values and you were the seemingly perfect embodiment of them #the perfect girl i would never be. and i despised you for it #but then one day i learned that underneath all that you were just as resentful and inadequate and flawed as i was #we had been just the same all along #but it's too late now i guess #dungeon meshi

[pinkrose05]

Revelations were had today.

#past me could've never guessed her “yomi is purple nihility ren” joke would be so right. this is really funny actually #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr acheron #hsr blade #pink does a silly #there are so many more parallels btw. i'm almost tempted to make a list of these

[nelkcats]

Empath

Jason Todd is an empath, something that probably no one would believe if they were told the story of Red Hood. It's not an ability he likes to brag about either, honestly, Jason hates it, as much as he hates being back from the dead, it makes him feel different, it makes him feel like he doesn't fit in.

It starts small, with a boy who feels his mother's pain and his father's rage. With a child who sees Batman and instead of a big scary bat feels layers and layers of sadness. It starts with Robin, feeling too much and wanting to change everything for the better.

He never tells Bruce, what good would it do? It's not a useful skill, sensing the Joker's madness didn't help to prevent his death. Feeling Bruce's despair wasn't enough to keep his eyes open.

It ends too quickly, too soon. Maybe for that reason he was given a second chance. One that Jason didn't want. Pit madness feels a thousand times stronger than it should, it pollutes his mind, it seeps into his heart and Jason hates it a little more every day.

Then, he meets Danny in a bar, full of smiles and biting comments but so so scared. He hears his silent pleas, his regrets, his desire to belong, to not be hated. And for the first time in a long time, Jason's heart breaks a little.

For the first time in a long time, the pits fall silent and give way to the confused feelings of the boy beside him.

Danny becomes part of the routine, Jason doesn't quite know how but the boy refuses to leave. He never asks about Red Hood, though the small flicker of doubt every time Jason leaves the apartment confirms that he knows. He never stops him, he just smiles and waits for him with a first aid kit under his arm, bandages his wounds and sleeps beside him.

Jason knows he is dangerous but can't help but love him as much as he can't help but feel the pain that accompanies the boy.

Then, his little home life is invaded by Bruce (worried, always worried, overly cautious), he warns him that Danny is a dangerous creature, warns him that he will hurt him. Jason can't help but snort.

Jason knows Danny isn't human, it's not something his ability tells him, it's just easy to deduce. But when Danny confesses it to him (scared, so so scared), he downplays it, tells him it's okay and he can go back to sleep. Danny doesn't fit into what's normal, but that's okay, he doesn't either.

#dpxdc #Empath Jason Todd #no one knows #it's a secret #although Jason never made an effort to keep it a secret #Jason always had good instincts about people #or he would never have accompanied Bruce #dp x dc #dc x dp #Jason met Danny while visiting a bar #Danny had just escaped from Amity #he was very scared #feeling all alone #but telling jokes to cheer Jason up #Jason couldn't help but fall in love #dead on main #dead on main ship #Bruce means well #he received reports about a dangerous creature #he decided to warn Jason #Jason doesn't care #Danny is Danny and that's all he needs to know

[bejeweleds]

JEONGHAN NANA TOUR: Episode 4 (2024) for @ashmp3

#i wish i was joking but i have a fever and i woke up at like 3am thinking abt teo's instagram story #and i vowed when i got up in the morning i would download the nana tour files #never think that this is a serious blog 😭 ily teo i went back thru ur highlights #seventeen #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #svtsource #svtgifs #svtcreations #17net #kpopedit #2605 #g #nana #heyteo