#it's a nightmare being me in the public

[non-un-topo]

All it takes is a wee little nightmare to make you too scared to step foot outside for fear of Bad Things happening, like it’s an omen lol

#also it is p o u r i n g outside and it takes me an hour and fifteen minutes to commute to campus #i'm a good little student but sometimes i just can't be assed #esp with all the crazy stuff that's been happening on public transit and on my campus for that matter #i'm just getting a bad vibe today [insert empath meme here] #warning for me complaining about a graphic nightmare!!!!: #had a few stress dreams(?) last night but one particularly violent one in which a woman got run over by a streetcar-- #--and the paramedics were moving people along but i accidentally got a really good look at her and it fucked me up #she looked like she was just sleeping peacefully but i could only really make out the top half of her body #probably because the bottom half was... yeah. #i think i also had another dream that i was being hunted by a sniper?? and they had called my cell and were threatening me + my folks? #and another one where i had to hide some children from... i don't really know what. some dangerous person who wanted to kill all of us #but the kids wouldn't leave me even though i begged them to. #yeah just a normal collection of dreams for me. literally ugh. #i don't even think i'm stressed in my life rn?? #not any more than normal lol

[thepoisonroom]

anxiously explaining to my friends that i won't go to drag brunch not because i'm anti-drag but due to my terror of crowdwork

#being asked to audience participate has been a nightmare of mine for years #if a drag queen roasted me in public i would simply never show my face again this century #personal nonsense

[learnelle]

.

#My public apology to England: I’m very sorry for thinking you are insanely overrated #It took me taking just one step outside of London to completely fall in love 🥺 #I think living here would be a nightmare because nothing works everything is mislabelled and we’ve had sooo many problems #But the beautiful cottages ???? the gardens?? SCONES and sponge cake everywhere ??? And English cheemse 🤤🧀🪤 #Plus like literally every time we’ve had a problem or looked slightly confused somebody has come up to us and asked what we’re looking for! #Being Irish myself I always knew that the UK has so many issues and living here can be difficult. #But that being said I have been completely charmed by Warwickshire 🥺 #In London tomorrow for the day before our flight home - where I will resume to panic over my assignment due Wednesday:-) #Rambles

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

phannie tumblr and phannie twitter hating each other is so funny bc it’s all the same people and we act like we’re completely separate societies. i really get and agree with the criticisms of phannie twt, all i wanted when i was on there was to be back here, AND at the end of the day, we’re all phannies—none of us are valid <3

(i’m down if anyone has thoughts on this that they want to share! i want to write essays upon essays about this phenomenon it’s SO interesting /gen)

#/hj #this is so fascinating to me as a psychology bitch #like phannie twt is a nightmare i HATED being on it #AND everyone individually was soooo nice #and also all of them are on here too!! #and dnp twitter is MUCH worse with the boundaries and toxicity and privacy and respect and shit #but dnp tumblr is NOT innocent #so much discourse and people started shit for fun and all kinds of the same shipping behaviour #the reason the shipping behaviour is different on tumblr is because it is no longer shoved in their faces #everyone tries to keep it contained and lowkey and #and not public like it feels like a private little community that dnp respect and mostly stay away from #but we need to also recognise that the shipping behaviour is the same #dnp #yeet my deet #dan and phil #phan #phandom #yeet my deenp #phstudy

[antiqua-lugar]

the terror has me itching to fall into another rabbit hole about victorian racism because they absolutely nail the despair james would feel at "not being even English" but I need the details of what the Victorians were thinking about the Brazilians specifically. It's already pretty wild that James ends up embodying the English fear of miscegenation of all things, which right now I can't remember if it's openly addressed when it comes to Francis and Sophia or it's only implied (I am aware about the essays on how the Irish are an inferior race of "white gorillas", I don't believe for a second Sir John wasn't) but the ties to a different colonial empire...they had a caste system too, to add to the mindfuckery.

#like james' mother could have not even been white. that's the level we are at. he doesn't know either. #the terror #antiqua ponders how the terror masterfully uses gothic tropes which were appropriate for the time #european racism is so fascinating to me and victorian racism in particularly because it tends to be my field of study #and also because you read things like wilkie collins being accused of corrupting the public by being a francophile #i found an essay about anti german sentiment propagated by the stereotype of germans loving sausages too much #like sometimes it's fucked up shit like matthew arnold pontificating on the inherent inferiority of the celtic race and how england needs #to conquer them for their own good #and some other time it's room with a view where they go to italy and faint when they see italians #where is that post about lovecraft's nightmares being to be in an elevator with an irishman

[coffee-bat]

i am filled with visceral rage at ticket inspectors btw

#had a god awful experience 3 days ago and i'm STILL having nightmares abt it. like the scenario literally keeps showing up in my dreams💀💀 #AND i still have to pay the fine bc despite it being completely fucking unfair and unreasonable bc the law apparently JUST changed. #vent #i JUST got on the bus and was LITERALLY abt to buy a ticket in the machine when they blocked my path to it #wouldn't let me through to buy the fucking ticket #ganged up on me and made me cry publically #and i have to pay $65 and there's nothing i can do about it. #literal class traitors fuck you.

[little-candy-store-of-horrors]

Vent piece idk

Ok to reblog but ignore the fucking tags hhh

#Charles ii of spain #Charles ii #Carlos ii #17th century #You know I havent really spoken about the grief of losing your mobility but it is so much more than that #It's also the loss of your freedom physically and socially #And it eats you alive the longer it draws out. I mourn everything i cant do and everything i could. #It's also a financial nightmare having to go to the hospital and being unable to take public transport #AND losing your job #I know it's not a lot compared to what a lot of people have gone through but #The strain has literally killed me i cry like two to three times a week now #And i just dont know when its going to get better or what worse is in store #Or how much ive fallen behind even when it does physically get better #Also there's the autism thing about freaking out if ur body doesn't remain the same so fun fun #So anyway ive thought about committing a LOT since june!! Hahahhahahahah

[cwarscars]

just finishing my threads rn but like - i wanted to make a post. 

i was gonna make it on my chris blog because it applies there much more than it does here but basically, what i want to say is - every portrayal matters. every interpretation, your headcanons, your ideas, the quirky little traits or ideas that you apply to your muse whether it be silly little quips about their taste in music or the big brain theory you’ve had because of that one facial expression they pulled in that one scene

- your portrayal matters, is valid and is incredible. you have put a piece of yourself in the art that you’re sharing with your moots ( & your non-moots ) & that’s magical.

passion is a wonderful thing. passion for art, writing, creativity. it doesn’t matter if you have the fanciest graphics or the best writing. it doesn’t matter if you’re opinions go against ‘fanon’ or if your view of a muse is ‘different’. if you write short snappy paras / one liners or fifteen paras of detail. if you like that unlikable or unused muse, that’s fine. and the same goes for if you’ve a passion for a character /everybody/ loves. 

i write this post because after a lot of discussion with people - i’ve noticed a trend of ‘if you don’t write x, you’re not a true fan’ or ‘if your character doesn’t do x, do you even know the character’ - i’ve come to really resent posts like this. it isn’t nice. it isn’t supportive. we can have disagreeing opinions on muses / characters / fandom; but making digs at other users because they don’t see a character the same way as you? not cool. 

i want to say right now that i appreciate every portrayal. seriously. i appreciate the passion, the love - that people pour into their characters. even if we don’t always agree on certain characterisations / headcanons / themes, whatever - i’m never not going to appreciate a person’s time & love going into a character. whether you’ve been doing this for ten years + or a month; i say, godspeed. 

we all know my galaxy brain comes up with the dumbest shit for my man & i go all ‘always sunny meme’ in explaining how i get to my conclusions - it’s because i love doing all of that stuff & i know you guys love doing that for your characters, too. 

don’t ever let anybody make you feel like ‘less of a fan’ or ‘not knowing canon’ just because you like giving your character something different or you don’t agree with a popular fanon opinion. 

as somebody who has seen & felt the feeling first-hand that comes with people putting down others over ‘not being true fans’ or ‘not agreeing with fanon’ - i tell you right now, you’re as much a fan as you want to be. you love your muse as much as you love them. 

if you’re passionate, that passion will shine through & fanon / canon / and all of the rest of it wont matter because that muse will be yours. 

don’t let anyone ever make you feel any differently; you’re appreciated.

#thankfully the ff fandom is pretty sweet for being accepting / lovely to each other #but there are other fandoms where ive seen this a lot #and like- after talking with people #and the nightmare of hearing people say the /same/ thing as me of 'i dont feel like a true fan because of /this/' i just wanted to like #say something and let people know that i support portrayals #like - be passionate show your passion have a ball #this is a fun hobby & seeing people explore their characters and have fun? fuck yeah count me in #(ooc) #just been thining about it #and i know how shit it feels when you get hit with that 'everybody disagrees with me' feeling & it's reaaally rotten #and worse ive been in public discords where people have dunked on some random persons hc #and yeah you dont have to agree with hcs but let people have fun - i have a tonne of shit for heid people prbs disagree with which is fine

[lizord-lord]

4/4 dp au boys at last! have a boy who has seen Tron too many times, drawn by someone who has not seen Tron even once

#i KNEW i had to give him the horde prime electrical cable hair #i HAD TO #those things have a mind of their own it’s so funny #twins out here with the freaky ghost hair #he is so autism #by the way i AM projecting my high school nightmare onto all of these boys #that transitioning to public school in middle school while being neurodivergent type beat #mikey is the only one doing okay fr #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donnie #tmnt #tmnt 2018 #phantom turtles au #rottmnt au #rottmnt human au #my art #break draws #PLEASE send me asks about this au if you want to I will owe u my life

[qilinkisser]

well. That went quite shittily

#vents 🌧️ #who up crying their eyes out in front of a test #I was literally the last person in that godforsaken classroom. Everyone else finished #I’m so so SOOO tired of feeling stupid. Those questions were easy. I know they were #But for some fuckin reason I couldn’t figure them out. Absolute bullshit #I miss being smart #I took my first anti depressant today. Maybe eventually it’ll help me #But I guess until then I’ll just have to settle with being an idiot #Fun fact about me: my worst fear is public humiliation so being the last person to finish is like. Nightmare material #At least I don’t think they knew I was crying. That’s good or something #Sick of this shit. I’m sort of starting to really hate school #Sorry that was a Lot. This blog is starting to turn into a personal blog too. Whatevar

[peachesncremate]

Baby's first overt workplace religious microaggression

#i just hope that man recognized it as a pentacle and didnt think it was a star of david #bc being an old white man about a pentacle is one thing #being an antisemetic nightmare in public is another #all the other religious microaggressions have been about me being visibly gay so. wild.

[fabulouslygaybean]

kinda wish i could just... ditch my glasses in public sometimes. no contacts, no glasses, just vibes

#on one hand i like having clear vision and i like being able to navigate public spaces on my own #but on the other hand. jesus christ i hate wearing glasses and contacts are expensive + sound like a nightmare to deal with #i can navigate some public spaces w/o full vision but it's always in places where it's okay to not see well. like conventions where ppl - #- are in costume #i certainly don't miss the days of having people subtly guide me around #but sometimes it sounds nice. idk #please can someone just lead me around for a day so i can give my eyes a break

[catboymitosis]

I have strained my eyes so much the past two days my eyes burn and water and my vision is constantly a bit blurry, I cant move my eyes in certain directions without it hurting me, I cant look at screens without wearing sunglasses or it hurts also. I have not gotten anything particularly substaintial done while inflicting this upon myself. I'm still on my phone about it.

#i just. dont want more nightmares. i wish sleep was kind to me. more dreams about being publically set on fire pls #vent

[feluka]

i am in a Mood lately

#i feel like the only things i've done at all this week #is cry and have horrific dreams about being murdered in a public location #and cry some more until about the third crying session per day i get tired and exhausted so i sleep #and while sleeping i get some more nightmares. wash rinse repeat etc etc etc #not even the cathartic cry that makes you feel like you needed that. just makes me sadder #i dont know when i became such an oversensitive bitch but i hate it!! #<<lying. i know when. since FOREVER #but i feel like i just took emotions heightening pills or something

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

having terrible anxiety is bad enough, but with all the shit going on these last few years and the sheer unpredictability of the future, especially coping with mental illness, and being in a place that turns out to be crowded as fuck on a Sunday and really not wanting anyone to talk to me, it's really fun realising you're having a remarkably bad anxiety attack walking around!!! and it sucks because the library is closed on Sundays and even the idea of going home where I'm alone is not something I'm that happy with

#vent #i'm not being sketchy i just have anxiety #rant #personal #mental illness #trauma #oh this is a nightmare this is pain #which made me feel worse using the men's bathroom #being vulnerable and anxious in public is not fun in the slightest

[thestalwartheart]

Idk how true this is honestly because I the only information I'm getting about Daniel Craig's post Bond acting jobs is the few things on Tumblr, but from what I've gathered it's basically:

Post Bond Daniel Craig: I am going to play characters that are so overtly queer

And like, good for him tbh

The queer community just keeps winning! 🥳🥳🥳

(Though he did do Macbeth on stage, let’s not forget. I’m 1000% sure there are queer readings of Macbeth - I think I read some at uni - but that wasn’t one of them.)

To make a slightly more serious point, I was really hesitant to answer this because I feel like the discussion that comes out of it might involve speculation and assumptions about an actor’s sexuality (which I have seen plenty of since the Belvedere ad) and for all I joke about bi chaos and lighting, I find those kinds of discussions fraught and unpleasant.

Also, I would never want to assume DC has a plan for anything. As he’s said in the past, he’s just looking for the most interesting role.

BUT!!!!! How cool is it that there are so many amazing queer stories out there for him to play. We have come SO far. So, so far!!! I keep thinking if he’d finished Bond ten years ago, or even after Spectre (like he wanted to), how different his trajectory would have been. The timing is so perfect, honestly, and I’m so thankful that we get to see him in this era where he’s getting involved in such incredible, interesting and courageous projects.

#tbh nothing is more courageous than benoit blanc’s accent #reminder that public figures don’t owe you explanations of their sexuality #that’s not what I think you’re getting at anon #but I have nightmares about my asks being flooded with Discourse and this is me trying to prevent that #anyway talk amongst yourselves