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journey-to-the-attic · 3 months

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bold of you to assume we (or atleast i) dont want to read paragraphs about ik's and belphie's dynamic 😈😈

if you feel like writing that, i'd absolutely love to read about it!!! ^^

RIGHT YES this took me a hot minute but let's go!!!!

so the main points that this is all built around:

belphie is someone who is absolutely shit at understanding himself

ik is someone who has a knack for understanding anyone she talks to for long enough

belphie's first resort is usually to leave things to someone else, but easily asserts the things he wants

ik will actively pursue you if she thinks she can help, despite usually feeling guilty about requesting anything

they both have very simple views of very complicated things

building from point 1: this is not entirely belphie's fault - i've talked about this before, so i'll just paste the pertinent bits here:

belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"

belphie underestimates himself and, at the start of the year, is convinced that there's no way forward - 1. he feels he's left it too late, 2. he feels he's the only one still hung up on lilith's death, which only makes him more bitter, and 3. he thinks that the hatred and grief is just who he is now

now take ik, who finds him in the attic and takes worryingly little convincing to help him - even more concerningly, she decides to go through with it even upon finding out he was lying about his identity. this is a direct contradiction to his conviction that humanity is selfish and cruel - more than that, the more ik visits and chats with him, the more he remembers why he'd been so fascinated by humans as an angel

except it also reminds him of how much lilith loved humanity. belphie doesn't think he's capable of letting go - he doesn't think he's allowed to, and to him befriending a human and moving on is the same as betraying his sister's memory. so he represses any feelings of good-will and continues to nurse his hatred

i think it's important to note that belphie's hang-ups have always been self-destructive before this, but the more he lets his own grief fester, the more it threatens to burst. his threat to lucifer about destroying humanity is an early indicator of this, and it culminates in a moment of extreme emotional distress where it finally all implodes

so ik - in the wrong place and the wrong time (in the literal sense) - finds him in the middle of a nightmare, wakes him up, and gets murdered for her troubles

belphie shuts down immediately after, because to him this is a point of no return. he's already convinced himself that nothing can be done for him, and this is the proof. except then everyone else forgets what's happened, and, panicking, he goes along with it - out of fear of losing his family if he comes clean.

so: point 2 - consider that a big thing with ik is that she just doesn't get why belphie acts the way he does after killing her. she's been able to get into the heads of his brothers before him, and even now can somewhat rationalise them forgetting, but she has no idea why belphie - who first killed her and then acted like he'd forgotten about it - would suddenly seem so wracked with guilt upon finding him in the dreamscape

belphie does not think he is strong enough to move on. ik, somehow, intrinsically, already knows this is not true. this is why she's so bewildered by belphie telling her lilith's story. he's convinced this is some kind of damning evidence, but ik doesn't get how this explains anything. and because she doesn't understand, she seeks answers.

now take point 3 and 4. belphie does not attempt to seek forgiveness - he just sits in the cell solomon locks him in. he doesn't try to get out, he doesn't attempt to repent, and he doesn't want to, because as far as he's concerned there's nothing to be done

ik, on the other hand, is going to put her home back together by force if necessary, so she goes to find him. multiple times, she climbs up the tower stairs to rescue him from a waking nightmare - the same thing that killed her - because her family is still his family, and she knows too well what it's like when you go without.

belphie has been sitting stagnant for millennia on end, and now ik has decided that she is going to KICK him along until he figures out that he can stand on his own two feet and keep going. and it works, because for some reason digging demons out of emotional pits of their own creation is ik's specialty

and now point 5: ik and belphie fall quite easily into a typical sibling dynamic of the "i'll make fun of you constantly, but if anyone messes with you they're dead" kind. they never really sit down to talk out all the residual Baggage of everything, because neither of them are the type to overthink these things

but EVEN THEN. they may be simple-minded but the complication of the everything that led up to this means there's little hidden meanings even in the normalcy of their behaviour, and neither of them ever register it

for belphie it's "i'll never understand you. thank you for understanding me. i don't know what to say, so i'll tease you for tripping on your laces instead. i'd throw someone down a gorge if they made you cry. let's go shopping. i think i'll spend the rest of my life wondering if i can ever close the wound i tore in your soul."

for ik it's "i'll never forget what you did to me. i see you in my nightmares sometimes. thanks for waiting for me after school. quit making a show out of helping me reach the top shelf. sometimes i'm glad you regret things so much. can you help me with this homework? i think we're alright."

and for both of them it's "i like hanging out with you. sleep well. i'm glad we're home."

in conclusion,

i am crazy about things i made up entirely. perhaps i am cringe but i am free

#answering asks #valenrien #and also #anon asks #i meant to write this out like two days ago but i got Super Invested out of nowhere #in drawing this one thing of solomon and mephisto #idk if i'll get around to fully finishing it so like 75/25 whether i'll ever post it #but it's been very fun. i finish my work and then get to go 'hehehe time to go draw gay people'#for brief moments my youth was returned to me and i was fifteen years old #and drawing godzilla going on dates with various dinosaur and dragon ocs again #i haven't drawn godzilla in years. i used to be so good at it. i should draw him hanging out with ik #but anyway. in conclusion #belphie is a wounded animal in a beartrap and ik is the farmer's boy who loses a finger trying to prise it open #ik's unrelenting and fierce campaign for everyone she loves to just be NICE to themselves is almost frightening to belphie #who doesn't quite comprehend how she does it and doesn't feel he's quite earned forgiveness #except what ik's forgiveness forces him to confront is exactly what he deserves

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youngninelifer · 1 year

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I’m literally howling and wailing about Saul Evans the lighthouse keeper rn. The new Hozier song Through Me (The Flood) is literally about him I’m screaming in pain

#bz bz #it’s about your selfhood being dissolved over and over. knowing it’s coming. unable to change the course. the sacrifice.#the love that exists but it’s all coming down with you and it’s your fault but it’s NOT YOUR FAULT HOW COULD YOU HAVE POSSIBLY KNOWN #OR CHANGED ANYTHING #it’s about being annihilated by the sea & by love like let love destroy you. let the world be destroyed by creation #the world fundamentally being different now. irreconcilable. unsalvageable. new. frightening. impossible & alien #& you have just enough personhood left to mourn it agonizing over what was lost. but you are a part of the new & u ushered it i #FUCK!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!#DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN??????????#fuck.#and like the last thing you ever did was love so strongly that you may have staved it off almost ALMOST long enough #for it to make a difference. but you’ll never know.#god when love was the only thing that mattered in the end. even if it didn’t it DID. 😭😭😭😭😭#SHAKING AND SOBBING #southern reach

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edoro · 2 years

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concept: Caleb Wittebane follows a witch into to the demon realm, leaving behind one odd and socially maladjusted sister, Temperance. of course, she won’t rest until she gets Caleb back; she is plagued by nightmarish images of poor Caleb being subjected to all the torments of Hell in that place, alone amongst demons and sorcerers, and so she dedicates herself to finding a way into that infernal realm to bring Caleb back.

(she regrets so deeply that her own fear kept her from following Caleb, that her uncertainty kept her from insisting and pulling Caleb back into their own good and godly world. she won’t make the same mistake again.)

when she does finally end up in the Boiling Isles, she goes in the guise of a man. it isn’t safe, after all, for a woman to travel alone in such a place. who knows what might happen? Temperance is left behind, and it’s Philip who emerges into the winding caverns of Eclipse Lake and must find his way out and climb down the frigid Knee.

and of course, Philip needs help to understand and survive this bizarre place. he needs traveling companions, native guides. and there’s one in particular, a handsome man near his age with a barbed tongue, a quick wit, and a voracious sense of curiosity about all things human, who Philip becomes so fond of he can almost forget the man isn’t human.

as they travel, the two grow closer. they spend long hours talking into the night, discussing anything and everything - their homes, their cultures, religion, philosophy, the natural sciences - magic, of course, which fascinates and repels Philip in equal measure. it’s unnatural, and yet the very earth and air and water of this place are full of it.

he’s very handsome, this witch. Philip finds himself idly doodling his face, sketching out his profile, trying to capture the curve of his cheek, the curl of his mouth when he’s about to lean in and murmur some vicious little aside to Philip about someone else, the way the strange sulfurous sea-wind lifts and ruffles his hair. Philip cannot stop looking at him, cannot stop thinking about him.

he isn’t kind, exactly. but he is eagerly interested in Philip, as excited to show Philip his own world as he is to learn of Philip’s. he listens to Philip. he understands Philip and matches his intellect in a way so few other people ever have.

he fascinates Philip. he is, truly, the first friend Philip’s ever had outside of Caleb. they quickly become inseparable, and Philip starts to think - wrong as he knows it is - that perhaps things aren’t as black and white as he has been raised to believe. perhaps some good can come of this place. perhaps a non-human can still be a person.

their courtship is slow and tentative and awkward and nervous, and Philip does not even realize he’s being courted for quite a long time. (after all, he’s a man here. and God may have given him a woman’s form, so he might lay with a husband and bear him children as intended, and thus made his lust for men only right, only holy, but this witch doesn’t know that.) when he does, it frightens him badly, but... not enough to stop.

he likes being flirted with. he likes being treated like he’s something beautiful, something worth pursuing. he likes the breathless feeling of nervous anticipation, the blissful sense that they are the only two living creatures in all the world when they’re up in the pre-dawn light talking over some point of history or philosophy. he likes the way his entire body lights up when this man touches his hand, or leans in close enough they could almost kiss.

he shouldn’t. he knows he shouldn’t. they aren’t married, they can’t ever be married, this isn’t a proper courtship, this man isn’t a human being, if their union even could produce issue what would it be? some unholy thing, an affront to God - and this man thinks he is a man, this man is trying to seduce him into sodomy, this man is trying to seduce him away from everything he knows is good and righteous -

he ‘confesses’ his ‘deception.’ perhaps it will deter the man’s interest. (perhaps, is the secret hope in his heart, the man will want him as a woman, perhaps there is a way -)

this is an incredibly confusing conversation, because of course the witch has long since figured out his human friend Philip is a trans man, and that’s fine, it ain’t no thing, but this conversation makes it abundantly clear that Philip’s only concept of transness is as something he independently arrived at to explain his own Unnatural Nature, whatever that means, and that it very much IS a big deal where Philip is from, and that Philip for some reason feels very anxious and self-loathing and strange about it, and when witch bf very casually introduces him to the terms and language they have on the Boiling Isles about it and then equally casually alludes to the existence of hormonal and surgical treatments for it, it blows Philip’s fucking mind.

(and so he is seduced even further from God’s plan, tempted into unnaturally altering the body he was born with, and he shouldn’t he should not he knows he shouldn’t, if he does this how can he go back to the town where everyone has known him since he was a little girl?

but it feels so good. he’s never felt so comfortable in himself before. his body has always been this thing he’s trapped inside of, this ungainly anchor of flesh weighing down his soul, but suddenly it starts to feel like it’s actually his own, like he’s actually part of it rather than simply being forced to lug it around. the world seems clearer. he’s calmer, less quick to snap, less frightened, less angry.

he’s happier. he’s never really been happy before, except for in the quiet moments he and Caleb can be themselves, alone together, the world kept at bay beyond the walls of their home.)

eventually, they have sex. it’s fantastic. the man is tender and attentive and admiring of Philip’s body. it feels good, it feels right, it feels like something so pleasant couldn’t possibly be wrong - but then, that’s how the Devil gets you, isn’t it? this is what temptation means. anyone can resist something they don’t want.

Philip feels filthy afterwards. he feels small and strange and used, furious and wounded. Philip knows he has damned himself. Philip cannot blame this witch for obeying his own deviant nature; instead he must blame himself for falling prey to temptation, straying from the path of righteousness, and he must simply be stronger.

it happens again, of course. he is weak. he is alone and scared and he misses Caleb so dearly but with every passing day he becomes more convinced that this horrible place swallowed Caleb whole, that Caleb is dead and Philip is trapped here alone forever, and without Caleb what point is there in going back to the human world?

Philip, after all, has nothing waiting for him there. there is a life for Temperance Wittebane to pick back up, an awkward and ill-fitting and isolated one, but a familiar one. there is no life nor room for Philip.

eventually, his feelings reach a boiling point. he is disgusted with himself, he’s frightened for his immortal soul, he is full of such overwhelming anger and bone-deep grief and he has no idea where it comes from (he doesn’t think about those things, they didn’t happen, his father was a good and godly man and would have never - it didn’t happen like that), and the one cause for all of it is this godless creature of this infernal realm, this thing in the shape of a beautiful man who has seduced him so far off the path of his quest -

so words are exchanged. he says things, cruel things. he makes his tongue into a whip and flays the skin off this man he knows so well. he burns down this strange and delicate shelter they’ve constructed between the two of them and he salts the earth so nothing else may grow, and he parts ways from this group and goes on his own to find Caleb -

hopefully alive, so that they can both be saved from this place and go home where they belong, but failing that he wants to find Caleb’s body or Caleb’s grave or some proof of what happened.

and then, of course, he finds Caleb happy, in love, with a family, and, well. we know what happens from there, don’t we?

#i just think it would be so much worse if he ALMOST came around #ALMOST let go of the prejudice and fear he was raised with #ALMOST let himself be happy the way caleb did #and then freaked out and ruined it all and retreated into his own mind and refused to ever let anyone else get close enough #to challenge his beliefs ever again #because it hurt so very badly and was so frightening to receive love and tenderness #to open himself up to it #to even begin to consider his whole life might be built on a foundation of cruelty and lies #nope! better to be a serial killer and do genocide about it #philip wittebane #the owl house #lil bit of #csa (implied)#lots of internalized stuff #hits philip w the transgenderfication beam

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oflgtfol · 5 months

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i love new york so much. separated by hundreds and hundreds of miles, no matter where i go, i can always be guaranteed to see a random "I ❤️ NY" decal on the side of a major highway

#brot posts #made the trek back to the island today after spending most of the week upstate with my grandparents #several hundred miles between their house and mine and i saw no fewer than 3 'I ❤️ NY' decals #and i know of a few on long island itself as well #and you know what? they're right. i do love new york #i feel zero patriotism for the United States as the nation i live in but by god am i such a rabid New Yorker #especially long islander #the pure relief i felt . several hours into my trip back home. going through the outskirts of nyc #and about merge onto the long island expressway. seeing the road sign with the giant arrow labeled 'LONG ISLAND' was so like #so utterly relieving i was just like :DDD LONG ISLAND !!! MY HOMMEEEE #i hate this place but also i love it . i cant ever leave. i most likely will have to bc its so fucking expensive but like #i will forever mourn leaving and a part of me will always belong here #i enjoyed the trip upstate and it definitely endeared me even more to ny state as a whole; but like #the pure relief of going to scattered suburbs around tiny 'cities'#suburbs that looked almost like those from home.. except for the fact they puttered out to pure rural communities within like 5 miles #going from THAT to the nyc area... having a /real/ city in the distance.. and having the surrounding suburbs stretch #for as wide as you could see... horizon to horizon.... and knowing the entire island is just one giant suburb #like yknow its annoying and kinda terrible that this place is so homogenous #but also . its relieving. like its my home. i live here. its what im used to #having a normal suburb that disappears to a void with population 5 within a 3 minute drive is so frightening. where is everyone....#and how do you call this thing a 'city' if there's only like five buildings with more than seven stories..........#sorry . im so nyc metro area pilled. i cant consider anything a city unless its steel skyscrapers with 100+ stories and busy traffic #and thousands of pedestrians rushing about at any given time #and how do you call this thing a suburb if there's only ten houses on a single street. why are your yards so big. where are the fences

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ultraevenmoreinfinitepit2 · 5 months

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Thinking about some text post I read about demons being superior to angels when it comes to falling in love because in sin they're closer to human experience, while angels are at their core devoted to the divine above all else. But I will raise you, how wonderful and terrifying to be loved by an angel who sees in your love, divinity itself, and will do everything in service of it.

#it's Puddle Aesthetic it's Bamcore!#all of the angels all of them! they're all so so capable of being crazy!#it's about being loved by something that loves in such vast and incomprehensible ways that it is absolutely frightening!#something about 99% of an angel existing outside the limited mortal experience #that mere 1% being enough to build a whole lifetime of love and happiness together and it's almost convincingly normal #maybe the only thing that could tip you off is an infrequent feeling as you're holding hands #that you're on a little raft far out at sea over deep deep water #and there are innumerous hungering leviathans below you #something in those smiling eyes that is like “I love us so much it would really be the end of the world by my own hand if we ended”#i don't know where I'm going with this I'm tired

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mejomonster · 1 year

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Chapter 152. Yeah I'm on this scene still just. So much of their dynamic can be gleamed from this dialogue damn:

Fei Du silently puffed out a cold breath, which quickly produced frost visible to the naked eye. He remembered the string of missed phone calls trying to cut in earlier and carelessly looked down at his phone.

Fei Du took one look and went silent. The President Fei who had scared the stalking villain into wanting to pull a knife twitched the corners of his mouth; his first reaction was to stick his phone back into his jacket pocket, pretending that nothing had happened. But on the other end, Luo Wenzhou seemed to have a gaze that extended thousands of li. While the phone was still warm, he called again.

Fei Du’s hand shook. In the chilly villa’s living room, a bit of sweat broke out on his back. He took a deep breath, then answered. “Hi…”

There was a brief pause on the other end. Then Luo Wenzhou said heavily, “You were just on the phone for at least twenty-five minutes.”

Fei Du said, “I…”

“I suppose you’ve been calling the lunar probe?”

Fei Du: “…”

Though Fei Du didn’t say anything, Luo Wenzhou seemed to be able to tell what had happened through some miraculous instinct. “Where are you?”

Fei Du said, “…At the villa.”

“What are you doing there on your own?” Luo Wenzhou made some association that suddenly changed the tone of his voice. “Wait there for me!”

#silent reading #lb #zhoudu #just like ToT i say this jokingly but like if fei du wasnt always 1 bad disaster from potential murderer #and luo wenzhou werent Extremely serious #about being a guardian angel protector. and both wetent Totally comfortable with their #shixiong/shidi almost domestic dom sub thing gling on #then like... rheir dynamic is just this side of unhinged.#luo wenzhou is so vigilant when it comes to fei du (and yeah its that he puts in the attention xause fei du doesnt #communicate well) but its like. if luo wenzhou Wasnt unconditionally loving and concerned for fei dus well being #hes got a lot of traits thatd veer Right into Red #Flag possessive and Controling (worse as a cop of course to top it off)#and those are only Marginally balanced by. again fei du is 1 bad day from killing with an army of hitmen #and billions of dollars. and the knowledge luo wenzhou would Be manipulated by him if fei du tried #just like he Already Was #for months.#so yeah like. i love them but theres a balancing act they play between Functional and caring cause its THEM #and If Luo Wenzhou felt betrayed and Could stop unconditionally loving (tho i dontcthink he would)#he could be intensely Frightening. (dont hate me for this but.. his controling aspeft #is not totally unlike fei dus dad. its opposite comforting control since its caring and kind but like #it is ijteresting the man fei du fell for is as possessive in his own way as his father was. i think #luo is actually MORE possessive cause luo wouldnt let go of fei du even if they betrayed each other beyond reason)#less interesting but still so. also interesting luo wenzhou hates ppl Like fei du and thag fei du Comes from #and yet loves HIM unconditionally. i think the novel is saying something about how #theres the potential for all kinds of things inside all of us #and even the villains in this #are lovable like fei du is to lwz to Someone.

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tales-of-magic-and-chaos · 8 months

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Will I read new fics or will I keep re-reading another one of my faves fics hmmmmmm.......

#im sorry #y'all Frostironstrange writers are incredible #i love u and owe u my life #but fics above 15k words frighten me #i'm trying to train my attention span up though!!#i've been reading whole fics almost everyday these last two weeks im very proud #new fics as well I mean!!#so dw. i'll eventually read the Frostironstrange classic I haven't read or finished yet.#eventually.#but i will #i want to keep reading more and more

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constellationcrowned · 9 months

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((It makes me sad that (especially coming from Roui) the severity of Kariom's duty is greatly diminished in both severity and importance. He's not just a star-reader he was chosen by the King to decipher them for all Tsourai. When he calls himself a savior it isn't entirely out of pride or hubris; he's telling the truth. It's a duty that can (and will, and has) potentially destroy him, even kill him, but one that he can't back down from or falter in because if Kariom makes a mistake?? Even one??? It's, to his understanding, completely over and he wouldn't be able to handle it. He cannot disappoint them, nor can he abandon them, and to fail in the slightest would be doing just that. It would be detrimental to the people that he loves and that, to say nothing of wider consequences, is unfathomable.))

#;;ooc: mun muttering #I emphasize the stress and pressure that this man is under in my writing because it's fucking true #it's one of ways the strength of his character and conviction shines through (evej if he's generally haughty about expressing those things)#he cannot give up and moreover REFUSES to; no matter how hurt; frightened; or confused he is and that takes real passion #I've said before that his obsession re; his duty is equal parts virtue and vice and that's always going to be the case #but I'm also sure that with the right support he'll find the space that he needs; not only to move in but to breathe in #because listen? this man isn't breathing; not in the full emotional sense and he needs that #the duality of this man is such a deep thing you guys; it really fuckin is #hopefully that comes across in my shit; i truly hope so because I've put so much thought behind it all (and again I barely have anything)#he's not perfect about it obviously (as I've said and written before)#but the heart behind what he does? that cannot and should not be ignored or diminished #and his flaws are just as compelling as his strengths and without those his growth and mindset wouldn't be as clear #he's very much a kid sometimes; just like Roui he was forced to grow up almost instantly so ofc he's stunted in places #but I feel that both of them will come to terms with that and each other and be ok #..... and in love.... like admit out loud in love lol #;;ooc: commentary (kariom)

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 1 year

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Made a behavioral health appt with a new provider because I'm getting new insurance and can't keep sering my therapist out of network and I needed a new psych anyway, and somehow these people managed to schedule me an intake for literally the day after Christmas?????

Like.....I called this morning..... and they're getting me in DURING A HOLIDAY PERIOD in under a week???? Take the holidays out and that is literally 2 (MAYBE 3) business days.

Color me fuckin impressed.

Like this is so fucking quick that I just assumed until SEVERAL HOURS LATER that the appt must be for Jan 26th because that made more sense. I checked. December. Like damn yall got some efficient intake procedures.

On the other hand, they did hold a brief risk assessment for me on the phone before scheduling and the less flattering (to all involved) option here is that I just scored high enough that they were like "we're slotting this bitch into one of the emergency intake slots"

Hopefully they're just very efficient lmaooooo I don't need yet another phone call letting me know I'm too much of a liability to take on as a patient rn

#the intake is actually done by a separate team from ongoing care #so i definitely won't get meds represcribed that quick #i definitely won't get my assessments done that quick #but assuming they schedule me with my actual providers sometime in january i will still be getting care faster than expected #i DO fully anticipate none of therapists like. chomping at the bit to add me to their caseload #my psychiatric history is uhhhhhhhhh #frightening on paper #in reality i don't get the impression I'm an especially difficult patient?#i'm not easy for sure like i'm not one of those young people just doing therapy for personal growth everyone loves having for a light case #but like. i haven't needed a safety plan in almost a decade #i have a detailed understanding of what kind of care to ask for and how to give useful feedback to my provider #i have a lot of effective coping strategies #that's all just.....sort of hard to tell from my intakes #especially because i have all the hallmarks for SEVERE risk except for....you know....the actual risk #like i am a severely depressed person with emotional regulatory issues #panic attacks; suicidality/self-harm history; impulsivity as avoidance; rock bottom ADLs; no social support system; etc #i just.....have simply decided not to die?#so i'm not suicidal anymore and have little to no risk of becoming so again barring like. major physical health concerns #but god #if *I* saw my chart come down the pipeline as a prospective case I'd be like....please god not me #not this time i beg of you #my caseload has enough clients I have to sleep for an hour after meeting with #i don't need another #so like. when therapists tell me they will not be able to accept me as a patient due to my paper record #i'm not offended or upset #it makes sense #it's just also not great for me because the quality of care one gets at places that don't ALLOW therapists to veto clients is....bad #and yes that has happened before more than once #it's why I typically only see mental health care providers A) through my primary care office or B) through a local hospital #historically standalone mental health clinics won't see me as a patient and independent private practice is a toss up

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hanzajesthanza · 2 years

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you must understand that if regis unintentionally or also intentionally frightens someone with epic vampire powers that deserves comic treatment above dramatic treatment. this is no edgy sicko character. regis is a comic character so you better treat him like one

#note to self highlighted underlined many exclamation points following #i can't express my contempt and revulsion for weird drama-between-protags where the source of the conflict is that 'this guy is kinda scary'#when them working together isn't actually a conflict at all in the main story #see: twn trying to suggest that ciri would be scared of geralt. oh my god! i want to wring someone's neck about that #no i simply think if your character has nonhuman frightening elements but they're a chill guy then #the other characters should get over it quickly and not obsess over the little details. like. they love them so let them love them #similarly for all of the geraskier fics that make jaskier intimidated by geralt... dude. whats wrong with you...#i think what is much better is that if they were ever intimidated by them it fades immediately and almost directly afterwards #they are slapping their friend just as they would any other with {friendly} arguments and teasing and yelling #see: milva being like 'ok i am actually kind of afraid of regis' in baptism of fire and then in ttos cussing him out bc he was annoying #peak. peak regis in the hansa dynamic #'this guy is normal' 'wait this guy isnt actually normal' 'honestly idc about him being normal or not he is annoying me'#'vampire or not im cussing him out in the name of friendship'#txt #in short to live a dream

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magdaclaire · 2 years

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gang of youths triple j like a version sessions fic titles

why does it always rain on me?

even when the sun is shining i can’t avoid the lightning

seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights

still life on a shelf

where did the blue skies go?

brothers

all the things he never said

a better chance

a love that’s unmistakable

dig through the collateral

the deepest sighs, the frankest shadows

sky full of lights (and none of them stars)

in a crowd unfamiliar

a feeling of distance (a feeling of loss)

not everything means something

honey cast me a line won't you fear me tonight?

all my friends

set the controls for the heart of the sun

benevolence riots

innocence isn’t a get out of jail free card in the eyes of god

how long i’ve waited for some lightning sound

#some of these are long titles but absolute bangers so if you see me use these. listen to the song.#these are good songs i love gang of youths #frightening malaise almost made it on but it feels a bit on the nose #mer rambles #also i know it's corny to do lyric titles. i do not care #gang of youths

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royallysubmissive · 2 years

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Hm.

#cw Stockholm syndrome #cw cw cw #so i uh #kinda understand the appeal behind Stockholm syndrome in a kink sense?#like the concept of the whole kidnapping thing is frightening #but theres something almost cute about like #falling in love with the kidnapper #purely fictional #I'm fucked

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hecksupremechips · 1 month

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I love to imagine Rebecca as trans like it just has become so ingrained in my mind it feels weird it’s not canon. She realized at a young age and her parents were supportive and let her present how she wanted and they used her name and pronouns, but they weren’t around enough to go the extra mile for her and make sure she was being protected. She was the target of some pretty bad bullying at school, both from the students and the staff, and Ashton was the first person to defend her. Ashton is cishet (cuz I think it’s funny) and hes kinda ignorant at first but he tries his best and he just likes Rebecca and wants good things for her and he’s so emo he scares away the bullies lol. And this was definitely a big part in Rebecca gaining feelings for him he just showed her this special kinda care that no one else ever did, and it’s what makes her extra insecure as the years go by. Cuz she wonders if maybe the reason Ashton never seems to reciprocate her feelings is because she’s trans and he just never thought to see her as romance material as a result. Which is a line of thinking that gets out of control really bad and she never gets to have the closure she wants with it either

She tells Isabella that’s shes trans just cuz they’re best friends and it sorta comes up eventually. Isabella was a tomboy growing up so she can definitely relate to the bullying shit pretty well and they are very protective of each other and vow to beat up anyone who talks shit about the other. They also just open each other’s minds a bit, Isabella helps Rebecca feel more comfortable in knowing there’s many different ways to be a woman, Rebecca helps Isabella maybe explore her feelings about her own gender and whether or not she’s really attached to womanhood. Zach finds out in a more casual way, it’s just something he learns cuz it felt weird that he was the only one who didn’t know and well. He’s a good guy, he wouldn’t mind. It’s not something the two of them ever talk about really, aside from bonding over a few shared experiences with having to deal with assholes. And really, being trans just isn’t something Rebecca wants to talk about too much, just because she’s gotten to a point where’s she’s experienced being stealth and she knows how quickly people can turn on you when they know, and she understandably doesn’t wanna deal with that shit. But because her friends are so supportive, she doesn’t exhale and let herself just exist naturally around them and it does help her feel less insecure about who she is

Sexuality wise I think she’s "straight" I think she’s spent most of her life looking at Ashton and just assuming she’d be with a man but once she finally gets to give up on him she has Moments with Isabella or like a certain fondness for Marianne and their shared love of history and other nerd shit and shes just like. Uh Oh 😟

#the letter #rebecca gales #my beloved my bestie my wife etc #ive also just written like in a scenario where she gets with luke shes gonna like get that dick and then shes like oh fuckkkkk #and its pretty frightening cuz luke is a notorious asshole but hes about to find out so she just lets it out #and hes weirdly chill hes just like ‘hnnnghh does it look like i fucking care about that right now daisy’#they uh. arent exactly a match made in heaven alkskf the way i write it like they are genuinely good for each other in a lot of ways #like i think they both can just help the other see important sides to themselves and improve #but i dont see them being like this happy long term couple i think rebecca can do soooo much better i think theyd get together when shes at #rock bottom and feels like no one will ever love her and she forms a bond with luke and she relates to him in a weird way #and this makes her feel worse like luke is the only one who sees the real her and she wants him because shes afraid hes the only one whod #tolerate her its just a very unhealthy situation and he has enough good in him to keep her on the hook #but enough bad in him to never satisfy what she needs and to make her feel like shit #its like. i dont think its IMPOSSIBLE for luke to be a good partner to her but hed have to do a LOTTT of changing that im just not confident #hed do plus like i mean hes literally a murderer and all of rebeccas friends hate him i dont think shed really be able to see past that #plus like hed be transphobic like maybe he isnt opposed to having sex with a trans woman in the moment but he certainly wouldnt be an ally #its all about whats convenient for him i think at best hed be like ‘youre one of the good ones!’#i kinda love lukebecca lol not in a ‘theyre cute’ way ew just in a. ‘their interactions are really funny and interesting’ kinda way #i want them to fuck nasty and i want rebecca to almost sink to his level but then rise above and kick his ass #and i want rebecca to be the one who got away for luke like losing her is the biggest wake up call of his life #and then rebecca lives her best life with her awesome friends and they work on communicating properly #and she realizes she doesnt need a man to complete her and then she writes a book and is loved pleaseeee

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