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#it's also supposed to feel almost suffocating or overwhelming
meowzfordayz · 1 year
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analysis (; — hashira men
Author’s Note: took this not-actually-a-prompt and got carried away heh... 😌
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analysis (; — hashira men
Himejima Gyomei x Reader, Iguro Obanai x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader
Word Count: ~2,200
CW: 18+NSFW, degrading language, explicit language, Fem!Reader, oral, spit, squirting
Thirst Fulfilled: I NEED someone to settle an argument between me and a friend-
Do you think sanemi has a big [redacted]-
Because I KNOW he is packing a huge one.
Ps I’m sorry but I don’t know who else to ask 😭
~faqs~
Update as of 12 May 2023: A foreword that these headcanons are first and foremost indulgent !! 😌 They are not intended to be realistic. They’re supposed to be fun. Hot. 🥵 Within the realm of possibility, but not ~normal. 😉
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Dick so big it has him blushing 🤭
—I mean, c’mon: Look at him 😳
That being said, it’s also very pretty — not monstrous or scary (besides its size heh)
A nice, rounded head that oozes precum throughout foreplay, sensitive and rosy pink as you flick your tongue across it, thick and heavy balls tightening at the breathy moan in your throat
A delicate vein curves from its base to the underside of the tip, thankfully not too pronounced, bc it’ll stretch you out enough regardless
Speaking of stretch…
Your fingers can barely wrap around its girth — it’s much easier to drool and lap at the shaft than commit to anything close to deep throating (unless your jaw stamina’s through the roof 👀)
Doesn’t exactly groom himself, but that isn’t too much of an issue since it’s not like his pubic hair’s getting in your way too often (re: dick too huge to regularly deepthroat) 
As for length, Gyomei’s in the ball park of ~reasonable (10 inches when erect), but it still requires a hell of a lot of prep before you’re fully seated on his cock, ass flush against his flexed thighs while large, sweaty hands grip your hips in a feeble attempt to restrain himself from immediately thrusting into your dimly throbbing cervix
“This okay?” he murmurs, thumbs pressing firmly into the softness of your skin, low groan caught in his chest at the suffocating heat of your pussy, your shaky, faintly pained breaths keeping his desire in check
“Take as much time as you need,” as you use his stomach to steady yourself, muscles rippling beneath your palms
“You feel wonderful,” whispered gently—patient as ever—even as he longs to raise your trembling body up and almost off of his cock, only to fuck the air out of your lungs w/ a single, smooth drop of your wanton weight, unsuspecting wail music to his ears as you convulse in orgasm at the overwhelming pressure of his cock stuffing your puffy walls
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Obanai’s closer to average, but he isn’t small (at least, his dick isn’t 😆 #short king)
Def a grower, slim, veiny shaft elongating (to ~6 inches) as you stroke him w/ a practiced flick of your wrist
Not exactly related to his dick, but he also def growls during foreplay, needy and eager to melt into you and to ruin you — just depends on his mood, yanno?
His head is the kind of head that you almost wanna chomp 🤗, all squishy, bulbous, and fat, quickly reddening and weeping precum, making a mess of your fingers
Perfect lubrication for touching yourself while sucking him off, gleam in his eyes at how filthy you are
Typically can’t be bothered to trim his pubic hair, but it doesn’t get especially long anyway — more so coarse and curly
His shaft doesn’t stretch you out significantly, sliding easily into your slick heat, hovering above you as his hands keep your legs parted widely, “You like being splayed out for me, hm?” pinching lightly at your inner thigh, grinning smugly as you whimper contently, “My precious plaything.”
But it (his shaft) does have a wicked, upward curve, tip grinding firm and repetitive against the spongy bundle of nerves deep in your pussy
And its veins 🤤
What he lacks in girth, he makes up for in texture
Plus, Obanai 11/10 fucks aggressive and erratic, pubic bone flush to your clit, friction delicious and constant as he thrusts full force into your hole, sweat dripping from his brow onto your clavicle, his eyes narrowed in lust and passion, balls slapping sticky against your asshole, less concerned about hurting you since he’s aware that he isn’t ~the biggest guy on the block
Altho, if he’s tired, then he lowkey enjoys you on top, edging him w/ every slow and steady undulation of your hips, your tits pressed warm and hot to his chest as he clings to you and the squelch of your cunt
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For whatever reason, my immediate thought was: Raging! Hard! On! 😂😍
Kyojuro’s absolutely packing, but still decently proportionate to his stature (177cm aka 5’10”)
—Bc, contrary to porn-pular belief, comically large dicks hurt 😒💀
8 inches erect, and a sizeable bulge when flaccid
—Never thought I’d use this term, bc (imo) it’s hot when I’m horny, but 🥴 when I’m ~sober 😆…
BREEDER BALLS
As much as Kyojuro loves worshiping your pussy, he might love when you worship his balls more 🤭
You kissing, sucking, licking his balls while he jerks himself off = 100% orgasm guarantee
Drooling on his shiny, reddening tip, your spit trickling down between his fingers, making a mess of your lips as you return to fondling his balls w/ your mouth?
110% orgasm guarantee
Prefers cumming on your tits, btw — will stave off his orgasm until you can get ~in position ☺️
Nothing like an even messier round two 😎
Bc, ofc, he is more than happy to reciprocate the pleasure 💞
W/ enough girth to warrant a gradual sinking (vs an abrupt thrust to the hilt), his shaft fills you breathless, its last couple of inches just barely fitting into your heat
“Can’t believe you’re already hard again,” you giggle delightedly, eyes hazy as he smears his cum across your nipple, throbbing head pressing deeper into your pussy, “You’re insatiable, I swear.”
A heady groan is his only response, gaze bright and attentive as always, reaching for your hand, dipping your thumb into his cum splatter, tasting himself on your skin as he maintains eye contact
“Fuck,” you gasp, pussy clenching at his nonchalance, tongue swiping subconsciously along your bottom lip
“Taste?” he offers, enthusiastic tone muted by the determined pressure of him lapping at your other nipple, his cum bitter and warm as he kisses you sloppy and needy, grip gentle on your jaw as he inhales your scent
And then you whisper Umai!
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One word: brutal 😵‍💫
Not bc he’s ridiculously hung (i.e. Gyomei), but bc he’s ridiculously good (at using his dick)
—I actually headcanon Sanemi being a ~bashful virgin (sex can be intimate, and intimacy can be scary, but he loves you, so if that means being soft and scared w/ you… then he’s willing to go there 🥺🤍), buuut once he’s comfortable/well practiced?
—😈😈😈
Not much of a show-er when flaccid (and absolutely, positively shriveled when cold 😂), but an ideal 7 inches when erect w/ girth in between Gyomei and Kyojuro (slimmer than Gyo, thicker than Kyo)
His tip seems to get ~angrier the longer you tease him, going from an almost cute pink to an engorged, lustful red — def the hardest part about fitting him in your pussy, breath catching every time he finally slips into your dripping hole
Which, he has to get you dripping before attempting to penetrate, or at least use lube, bc rushed sex + his dick = not super enjoyable
Alternatively, he’ll facefuck you to get his dick wet enough for your pussy, 7 inches manageable, albeit veering on unpleasant, your nails digging into his flexed ass as he shoves himself languid and satisfied into your mouth, head twitching and leaking precum down the back of your throat whenever you gag on his length
“Watch your teeth,” he grunts lowly, tugging warningly at your hair, swallowing a moan as his cock muffles your whimper, eyes watering at his roughness, “Don’t make me gag and choke you,” calloused fingers brushing soothingly—promisingly—at your neck
In terms of pubic hair, he keeps it neatly trimmed, but not clean shaven: he likes hearing—seeing—the filthy mess of your saliva, tears, and precum as he fucks up and into your pussy
“Is this fast enough for you?” he snarls, your body balanced precariously atop his pelvis, grip nearly bruising on your hips as he smirks knowingly, “Obviously not,” pace frenzied as you moan raggedly, “If you’re still moaning like a whore, then it isn’t fast enough.”
Feet shifting beneath him in search of a different angle, grin triumphant and deadly as you shout silently, head tilted backward, tits bouncing in mesmerizing sync w/ his thrusts
“There we go,” he murmurs, balls tightening at your fucked out expression, “There’s my perfect cunt, squeezing all pathetic and hopeless around my cock,” stamina never ending, pussydrunk on the feeling of you, “Can’t wait for you to cum on my cock, gonna make this cunt so fucking sloppy.”
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The prettiest dick 😭
—Ik I mentioned Gyomei’s dick being pretty too, but Giyuu takes pretty to another lvl 🥺
Aka Giyuu has the Goldilocks Cock™ 💀
Just shy of 7 inches, w/ thin veins that curl neat and yummy around his shaft — which, btw, is thick enough to have you pushing on his shoulders Slowly, p-please as the tip catches on your entrance, his eyes hooded and glassy as he ignores you in favor of thrusting in further Sorry not sorry at all You feel so g-good
A faint shudder trembles down his spine, pooling in his groin, traveling along his girth, head twitching in the viscous grip of your heat
Maintains a tidy patch of pubic hair, delicate happy trail tantalizing and subtle whenever he stretches 🥱
As for his balls… once again: Goldilocks Balls™ 🤤
Optimally sized for sucking into your mouth, hanging beautifully even, downy hairs tickling your nose as he cups the back of your head, quiet groans spilling from his cherry bitten lips as you glance toward his fluttering lashes, your vision obscured by the muscle of his tensed inner thigh
Giyuu’s fave position? 
—for these headcanons, at least 😆
Cowgirl 🤠 #yee #haw
Your pussy clings to his shaft like a greedy vice, creamy essence smearing from your swollen folds to his lower abdomen, tits presented as you arch backward, using his legs to steady yourself as you fuck yourself on his (perfect) cock
“Touch yourself,” he demands softly, spreading your asscheeks w/ surprisingly cool hands, easily supporting your weight, eyes closing at the satisfying smack of your skin bouncing against his
“Touch yourself till you cum,” his biceps hardly straining as you chase your orgasm, rhythm smooth and delectable, “I want to feel you fall apart,” murmured slick and gentle, in stark contrast to the lewd squish of his balls tapping your asshole
“C’mon sweetheart, fall apart for me, so gorgeous on my cock, love feeling you gush all over me.”
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—I pondered long and hard about Tengen’s dick (both puns intended 🤗)
—Lemme organize my thoughts for a sec…
—Girth (from wide to slim): Gyomei, Tengen, Sanemi, Kyojuro, Giyuu, Obanai
—Length (from long to ~short): Gyomei, Tengen, Kyojuro, Sanemi, Giyuu, Obanai
In other words, as the second tallest, Tengen also happens to be the second biggest 🙃
—I initially considered putting him behind Kyo in terms of length, but 198cm aka 6’6” vs 177cm aka 5’10”... the math just wouldn’t have mathed 😆
Erect, Tengen measures a solid 9 inches, and if Obanai’s dick is veiny, then Tengen’s dick = veins GALORE 😵
“Even my dick is flashy! 😎” “It has ✨decor✨!”
His shaft bends slightly downward (blame gravity — his dick’s so fucking heavy 😌), so certain positions can be a bit tricky, but damn if he doesn’t rearrange your insides 🤪
Def enjoys being the center of attention, fucking slow and confident into your stretched out hole, dirty talk muffled by Makio’s thighs as he maintains a steady rhythm licking her folds, Hina’s index finger slim and practiced as she stimulates your clit, Suma’s tongue gliding wet and hot against Tengen’s taint
“What was that?” Makio coos, eyes twinkling as she grinds firmly onto Tengen’s mouth, “We can’t understand you dear,” squealing when he smacks her tits, “You seem a bit preoccupied, try speaking up.”
“S-shit,” you gasp, gripping Hina’s hand, pressure building as Tengen thrusts sharply into you, “D-don’t encourage him Makio,” whining as Hina latches onto your nipple, sucking lightly
“Why not?” Makio giggles, ass wiggling playfully, “Can’t take it?” knowing all too well that, ultimately, your pussy’s paying the price for her teasing
“Hm, you’re so messy babe,” Suma sighs contently, pausing her ministrations to kiss Tengen’s thigh, lips shiny w/ spit and your essence, “Seems like you want Makio to encourage him.”
Hina nods in agreement, eyes narrowed devilishly, twisting your other nipple, “Her clit’s throbbing,” spoken w/ unbearable casualness, “I think she’s going to cum.”
“Are you going to cum?” Tengen asks conversationally, finally taking a breath from Makio’s pussy, engorged tip twitching in your cunt, “I’ve hardly ruined you, and you’re already spasming on my cock.”
“T-tengen,” you whimper, clenching at his taunting tone, falling forward, cheek smooshed into Makio’s back, “So fucking d-deep,” stuttering as the new angle forces his fat head flush to the entrance of your cervix
“Think we can get her to squirt?” Tengen hums smugly, a hypothetical question, really, as you begin convulsing, pussy gushing messily onto his stomach, Hina’s hand glistening, ignoring your meek mewls of T-too much! as she continues rubbing your clit, Suma lapping at your cum as it coats Tengen’s balls, trickling between his asscheeks
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vigilante-3073 · 20 days
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Distance
James Wilson x Reader (REQUESTED)
Summary: James and Y/N Wilson welcomed their first child almost five months ago. Y/N begins to notice the distance between her and her husband after he returns to work.
TW: Angst, lonliness, mentions of infidelity, babies and falling out of love.
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Y/N sat in the rocking chair in D/N's nursery, she rocked back and forth gently as she cradled the baby in her arms. D/N's nose scrunched up as she dreamt, small hands grasping onto the light pink blanket wrapped around her.
D/N was almost five months old, she had her father's temperament along with his beautiful brown eyes. Y/N had never known a love like the one she felt when she saw her baby girl for the first time. She and Wilson were overjoyed when they found out that she was pregnant after almost a year of trying. Wilson was present and supportive of her every need throughout the pregnancy, whether it be cravings, morning sickness or body aches.
Wilson was attentive and helpful throughout his three-month long paternity leave. He was up and out of bed at the first sound from the monitor and he always had their daughter in his arms whenever he could.
Wilson was an amazing father, but then he went back to work and it was like the dynamic had changed entirely. He left early in the morning and stayed at work late, only coming home long after Y/N had gone to sleep. She couldn't help but feel like he had lost interest in her and their daughter.
Y/N knew about Wilson's past infidelity and tried desperately to keep her imagination from running wild.
She knew that her body didn't look the same after the pregnancy, but there was also a part of her that knew her worries could be purely caused by hormones or exhaustion. No matter how many times she told herself that she was making something out of nothing, she still couldn't seem to push her worries aside.
She was tired of being alone and caring for their daughter by herself. Y/N missed her husband and she could feel her resolve starting to crumble.
Y/N looked down at her sleeping daughter before slowly standing from the rocking chair and moving over to the crib. She carefully leaned over the railing and laid the baby down on the plush mattress.
D/N shifted with a whimper, her small fists clenching. Y/N shushed her softly, resting her hand on the baby's chest and brushing her thumb across the fabric of her pink pyjamas.
The baby settled after a few moments, allowing Y/N to step back before picking up the baby monitor and making her way out of the nursery.
Y/N made her way into the living room, eyes glossing over with frustrated tears immediately as she saw the mess. Every surface was covered in clutter and a few scattered cups or plates. Y/N huffed, silently moving around the room as she began to clean up. It suddenly felt like the entire apartment was suffocating, she was overwhelmed and frustrated without any possibility of relief.
She knew that she would eventually crumble underneath the pressure.
Y/N made her way into the kitchen, tossing away the garbage and setting the dishes on the counter before returning to the living room to continue tidying the space. She froze in place when she heard a key slide into the lock, her eyes found the clock and saw that it was almost 1 o'clock in the morning.
Of course James would be coming home.
Y/N shook her head, folding a blanket as he opened the door and stepped inside. She could see the brief moment of shock on his face when he saw that she was still awake.
"I thought you'd be asleep," He said gently, closing the door and taking off his coat.
"Of course you did or you wouldn't be here," Y/N stated, draping the blanket over the back of the couch. She bent down and collected their daughter's toys from the floor, tossing them into the wicker basket beside the couch.
Wilson's brow furrowed, "What is that supposed to mean?" He asked, she shook her head, "Forget it," Y/N muttered.
"No, come on, talk to me," Wilson said, moving around the couch to stand in front of his wife.
Y/N huffed, swiping at her cheek as a tear broke free, "What's going on with you?" He asked gently.
"What's going on with me? What's going on with you? I haven't seen you in weeks! You're gone before I'm awake and you don't come home until I'm already asleep. It's like you can barely stand to be in the same room as me for more than two minutes," She said.
"That's not true," Wilson replied.
"Who is she, James?" Y/N snapped.
"Who is who?" He asked, she huffed as more tears rolled down her cheeks, "The woman you're cheating on me with," Y/N said quietly.
"I'm not cheating on you. Why would you think that?" Wilson asked.
"I'm alone all the time and I can't do this anymore. If you're sleeping with someone else, I just need you to tell me so I can stop feeling like I'm doing something wrong," Y/N pleaded, breath catching in her chest as she tried to keep from falling apart.
"I'm not cheating on you," Wilson stated, hands resting on her biceps.
"Then where did you go? Why don't you want to be with me anymore? Do you not love me? Is it my body because I can-" "Stop, don't even think about finishing that sentence," He said.
Y/N wiped her cheeks with a sniff, "I just miss you and I can't do this by myself," Y/N said shakily.
Wilson pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly to his chest. Her body trembled in his arms as her hands gripped onto the material of his shirt. Y/N broke down into quiet sobs, tears soaking into the material of his shirt.
"I love you so much and I am so unbelievably sorry that I made you think I don't want you," Wilson said softly.
He held her until her crying had dissolved into small sniffles, head tucked into the crook of his neck as she calmed down. Wilson's hand rubbed over her back soothingly, "Do you want to know where I've been?" He asked.
She nodded, "I've been transferring the care of some of my patients to another Oncologist at the hospital," Wilson said.
"Why?" Y/N asked softly.
"To spend more time at home," Wilson stated.
Y/N huffed a laugh, "I thought you were cheating on me," She muttered.
"I didn't exactly explain myself before jumping straight into this so I'll forgive you for assuming the worst," He said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"I love you, James," Y/N said.
"I love you too, honey," He replied with a soft smile.
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slashers-and-rats · 8 months
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pegging billy lenz is I all need like oh my god he is so me like wtf he's so silly I need him carnally
a/n: you get me. you really do. we’re bonding over wrecking our pathetic rat man.
billy lenz x fem!reader | nsfw | msub!billy, pegging, overstim kinda
billy’s face pressed hard against your pillow. he breathed in your scent deep, letting it fog his brain and cloud his senses. he wanted to be surrounded by you, filled by you-
he supposed, he was getting what he wished.
the way the strap-on was pushed inside of him, snug and tight up against his walls, made him feel like he had never felt. it felt somewhere between being suffocated and being pumped up like a balloon. it made him wheeze into the pillow, emptying his lungs of every dirty breath. the words he choked out were vile. he drooled arousal onto your pillow. the things he whispered were hot and pleading, needy to the point of being pathetic. he also breathed in deep, filling his lungs of everything surrounding him. the pillow pressed to his face, the sweat coming off your body, the sweet smell of sex hanging in the air; he breathed it all in. he relished in it. filled himself with it. he was full of you.
billy snapped back down to earth when you pushed your hips into a slow thrusting motion. he gripped the sheets tight.
you ran your hands over his back, tracing your fingers along his spine. his skin was on fire. every glide of your strap into his hole made him whimper. it was hard to speak, but he couldn’t stop. his brain was tumbling.
“fuck- fuck my hole! wreck m-my tight ass! wreck it!” he begged, rocking his butt back into the silicone. it sent you deep into him, and pressed right up against that spot inside of him. he quaked, gathering up the pillow in his face and smothering himself with it. the sound that came out of him, beastly and wild, was muffled by the plush fabric.
you giggled from behind him. the sound stabbed into his ears, keeping him grounded to the current reality. if he hadn’t heard you, he might’ve fallen away into nothing. you saved him. it only made him love you more.
“relax,” you purred, slowing your hips and holding his own in place. he allowed you to move him and keep him steady. he needed as much help as he could get. had anyone else been in his position, they might’ve felt the least bit embarrassed to be so clearly desperate and starved, but billy was… well, billy was billy.
no, he didn’t feel any regret as he whined low in his throat, wiggling his hips just enough to get friction from the strap. he didn’t move from where you had placed him, he’d never be so disobedient, but he urged you with his squirming. “slut- I’m a slut- I’m piggy’s slut! f-fuck me!” his voice was high and whiny, almost feminine in tone.
you hummed, waiting a moment for suspense, before thrusting your hips hard into the man beneath you. he moaned, just as high as before, pleading for more. at this point, you couldn’t understand him. he was practically biting on the pillow in his arms, and he had become too overwhelmed to string proper sentences together. his lips were three miles behind his thoughts, and they weren’t connecting any of the syllables right. no, he was babbling.
“you want me to make you cum? is that what my good boy wants?” you cooed, patting his butt. billy nodded, spitting up sounds of pleasure and need. he just needed a little more. you were moving so slow for him. “i’ll make you cum then. but no touching your cock. i don’t think you need to.”
he didn’t have time to protest. you began a steady pace into him, focusing on getting deep and hitting his prostate hard. your strap kept a steady, accurate pace on that spot inside of him.
it all but blinded him. light flashed behind his eyelids, and he clawed at the sheets. he tried to meet your thrusts with his own weak hip movements, but he couldn’t find the strength. you were drilling into him. you were fucking him with such purpose, it made him tear up. billy had stopped trying to speak, instead just drooling and moaning. he felt like a whore. your whore. it felt so good to be yours.
he, in that moment, could swear you ran through his veins. you were taking over every nerve ending. he felt so alive, and yet on the precipice of death. he could feel his cock, hard and leaking, thumping against his stomach with every thrust of the strap inside of him. the sound was downright sinful. your skin slapping against his, and his own thick shaft bumping into his belly button while he was ravaged.
all these factors were setting in on him. they picked apart his brain. they were the pinpricks in his thighs, and the shocks of soreness in his back. they were the jolts of electricity that travelled from his prostate and up to his cock every time you plunged into him. it was driving him so close to the edge.
the sounds billy made were practically cries. he slobbered all over your pillow, and sobbed in pleasure. he panted, and wheezed, and coughed. he didn’t dare try to say anything. instead, as he got closer, he just whined high in his throat.
you once again cooed behind him. he couldn’t hear it this time. all he could make out was that beautiful tone of voice. it was like a song in a different language, he felt it but he didn’t understand. he didn’t understand that you were giving him permission to cum until it happened. all that pierced through the thick veil of pleasure was “let go for me”.
he did. he choked up and went stark still, before releasing hard with a loud moan onto the sheets below him. he collapsed then, entire body falling flat against the bed underneath him. he shook with aftershocks, rubbing his still sensitive cock into the sheets of the bed. he felt his own cum smearing into his skin, and somewhere deep down he derived a sick pleasure from it. he was such a mess. such a dirty boy.
he had to roll over after a minute, finding it too overwhelming to remain so stimulated. he laid on his back in front of you, sticky and spent. you looked down at him with such adoration. he felt like he was under a heat lamp.
he didn’t give you time to speak. like a cat on a windowsill, he fell asleep under his sun.
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arkabacon · 9 months
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// Louder Than Thoughts.
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|| Blade x gn! Reader || || It was painful to breathe. Let alone think. || || 1k words || sfw !! || hurt/comfort, reader is a mess, implied relationship, not proofread, self indulgent || || note/s: the weather was perfect for this. I also wrote this with a wrecked mood due to reading an angsty fic so really I’m writing this to comfort myself. ||
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It was one of those nights.
You could not control a single portion of your emotional state. You felt like crying, screaming, ripping yourself apart. It would pass, you knew that. This always happens. But whenever you’re in the middle of it, all you could think about is-
The loud thunder disrupts your train of thought for a few moments, your form slumping back down again immediately afterwards. The feeling in your chest did not leave. Was it pain? Sorrow? Anger? Emptiness? You did not know. All you knew is that it was suffocating. It clawed at every part of your being, but especially the deepest depths of your body. It was like a growing curse that situated itself in the core of what is supposedly described to be you. It was a pang of guilt, even, growing with every unspeakable thought crossing your mind.
You begged for it to stop. A portion of you said you deserved more.
Your mind was turbulent as the weather, and this sole fact dampened your mood further. It almost urged for your state to grow even worse than it is now. You held back tears, a choking sensation forming in your throat the longer your persisted. You pulled your knees to your chest, hugging them as you buried your face into your arms. You sought out for some sort of warmth, but only the cold of the night embraced you.
At that point you couldn’t hold it in anymore. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t help but cry. You cried and cried, the loud rain drowning out your soft sobs and the occasional sniffle. For the nth time did you beg for it to stop, whether it be the overwhelming emotions in your chest, or the physical pain that came from it.
The rain was too loud. But your thoughts were louder.
You didn’t even notice how intensely Blade was staring at your slumped form. How your head rested against the sliding doors that led to the back of your residence. The bellowing wind kept entering, and he’d notice how you’d shiver each time it grew in intensity.
Just what the hell were you doing out here? He thought.
It took him a while to even step towards you. Was he supposed to? He couldn’t hear your cries, and it was certain that he could not hear the things that ran through your head. But after knowing you for so long, he knew that something was amiss. Because on a regular day, even with such weather you’d react openly towards it. You’d point it out to him, maybe even connecting it with some distant memory you had previously forgotten. But here, you kept to yourself, hiding away the expression of your face. Secretive, he’d think, but it was a secret he didn’t want you to keep.
Or at least, a secret he didn’t want you to suffer alone with.
To him, his steps felt heavy. It took him much effort to crouch by your side, a hand hovering by your shoulder. He examined you further, and his hesitation grew. His brows furrowed upon seeing how your form would slightly jolt up now and again, a gasp for air to fill your lungs. He wouldn’t dare make your mood worse, for he knew that when you were vulnerable- one wrong move and it could send you spiraling further. Did you need him, or did you need time? He pondered, his stare so intense he could’ve sworn you’d felt it by now.
But maybe you were just that far gone, and you needed him to bring you back.
Warmth seeped into your clothes and onto your skin, his hand finally placed on your shoulder. He did not speak, but that alone gave you a tinge of comfort- yet it brought back the exact opposite of what it was supposed to bring you. You felt guilty, dreadful for even making him so worried that he personally had to come and calm you down. The man barely rested his mind and soul, yet here he was, trying to comfort you. You internally cursed at yourself for being so incompetent. So useless. Unable to do anything on your own. Why did the eternally wounded have to look after one who’s mood was swayed by the wind? You bit the insides of your mouth, wanting to cry louder.
“Look at me.”
You couldn’t lift your head.
“Listen to me.”
You could barely hear him.
A sigh left him. Not out of annoyance, but of mild concern. But to you, it sounded that he was irritated. Irritated that you didn’t comply, and that what you were doing was irrational, stupid. It never was that way but…your mind deceives. And it continued to do that. You buried your head further into your arms, tilting you head away from the presence of the swordsman. You didn’t dare look at him. You couldn’t bare to meet his eyes, not when you felt this way.
He stared. His mind was racking itself for answers, for things to do to help you. His hand left your shoulder, the lingering warmth fading into nothingness. Your body grew colder, even, at the loss of his touch. You thought he upped and left. But you were wrong.
His arm ducked beneath your knees, another behind your back as he lifted you gently, effortlessly. His sudden movements startled you greatly, a yelp almost leaving your lips. Yet you said nothing, the feeling that was plaguing you keeping your silence.
In that one swift movement, you were now perched atop his lap, his hand that was previously under your legs now by your head. You found solace in his touch, warmth melting away at what used to fill the contents of your mind. It was like a miracle. He was a miracle.
He carefully urged for you to rest against his chest, your ear right above his heart. Somehow, such soft rhythmic sound slowly eased the torment in your mind and soul.
The rain was loud. Your thoughts were louder, but the beating of his heart was loudest of all.
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saibug1022 · 4 months
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Love, I See You Now
Word Count: 1.1k
Aerin Valleros x Asterin Nightbloom (m!elf!mc), background mentions of Asterin x Tyril and Asterin x Mal
A/N: Everyone say thank you to @gretchen-nightbloom for their post on Aerin's shadow form and @oh-so-youre-a-nerd being the one to find and send me the post. Also it is late and I am tired so this is unedited. If you see a typo no you don't. Title from Underground but Cody Fry
Slash. Strike. Block. Roll. Arrow. Bind. Roll. Shatter.
The battle for the Whitetower Rift was in full swing and Asterin could barely remember a time before it nor imagine a time after. All they could focus on was the split second they were in and what they had to do next. If they got distracted for even a moment they were dead.
He rolled and fired off cleansing fire in one direction, not even watching long enough to see it hit. He brought up his staff to block a sword and lashed out with his chain, entangled the soldier's legs and yanking her down. He'd long lost track of his friends and allies. He kept slipping in blood and he didn't even know where he was injured.
As it turned out, his leg was injured. He tried to lean on his left leg to sidestep an arrow but instead a flame of white hot pain burst from his leg and he cried out. He didn't get the chance to remember why he was stepping before the arrow found its mark in his chest.
Asterin didn't even scream as he fell, only made a choked off groan. It didn't even hurt much at first, he just stared at the arrow in his chest in shock. Then the pain hit all at once, so intense he couldn't cry out, only whimper as it overwhelmed his senses.
“ASTERIN!” A voice called his name and Asterin almost dismissed it as a hallucination. It sounded like Aerin but it was echoing, like a chorus of whispers repeated his every word.
A soldier appeared above him as his vision washed in and out. He could only make out the sword the soldier held from how it glinted in the sun. The soldier raised the sword and Asterin felt tears gather in his eyes.
He'd failed.
Asterin made one single mistake and now he was losing everything. Any chance to heal. Any chance to go on true adventures instead of desperate quests. Any chance to rebuild things with Aerin. He was losing Tyril and Mal and any life he could have had with them. He was losing Imtura and Nia. He was leaving Kade alone.
He didn't want to die…
Suddenly the air dropped so drastically Asterin could feel the frost on his armor. The sunlight seemed to be edged with violet.
Then a bolt of pure darkness armed right over Asterin and slammed into the chest of the ashen soldier about to kill him. Asterin's vision was still fading but as he tried to focus it he caught glimpses of a fight and the suffocating feeling of Shadow Magic. For a brief moment he wondered if Valax saw him fall and had betrayed her mother to save him.
But when Asterin's vision cleared it wasn't Valax kneeling down next to him. It was Aerin. Not as Asterin knew him now. His skin was gray with black veins cutting across it like cracks. His eye were a familiar silver that chilled Asterin to the bone. It was exactly how he'd looked when he'd betrayed them all to the Shadow Court, when he sacrificed Nia, when he nearly killed Asterin.
Aerin reached for him but Asterin flinched away, trying to put distance between them. He was already in so much pain, the agony alone would suffocate him. He didnt know what Shadow Aerin would do but his addled brain didnt care. He just didnt want to hurt anymore.
“No, it's okay,” Aerin spoke, his voice gentle but frantic like one would speak to an injured animal. Asterin supposed that was what he was. “Please, stop moving, you'll only hurt yourself.”
“And you won't?” Asterin tried to scoff but instead his words came out slurred and breathless.
“Of course I won't,” Aerin promised. “I swore to you I would never hurt you again. But you're seriously hurt in the midst of a massive battle, I need to get you to a medic.”
“A medic?” Asterin hummed. It was loud like one would expect to find in a battle. And he supposed he did need a medic. He did have an arrow in his chest. “Nia's a medic. Let's find Nia.”
“Perfect,” Aerin nodded and came to Asterin's side.
This time the elf didn't flinch away and let Aerin scoop him up. Normally he'd wonder where Aerin's shadow form came from and how he was able to pick up Asterin, but all Asterin could focus on was the whimper he let out as the wound was shifted. It was only worse as Aerin started running.
“AH!” Asterin cried, reflexively curling around himself. “Stop, stop it hurts, please.”
“Soon, stay strong for me Asterin,” Aerin promised.
“You promised you wouldn't hurt me anymore,” Asterin whimpered, but every step Aerin took sent shockwaves of pain through Asterin's entire system. Aerin made a face like someone had burned him, tears making his dulled skin sparkle.
Asterin was shifted once more and the agony that washed over him was like nothing he could have ever imagined. He heard a scream but he couldn't be sure if it was from him or the battle. His vision completely blacked out and he would have let the darkness take him if not for a cold hand taking his.
“Asterin, please, please open your eyes,” Aerin's voice pleaded. He liked Aerin. “You're stronger than this. You're the strongest person I've ever known. You won't let all this end to a stray arrow. Open your eyes, darling, please.”
His eyes were closed? He opened them again and saw Aerin amidst a cloud of white and gold. The gray was fading from his skin as he gripped Asterin's hands in both of his. He looked beautiful. So beautiful. With the shadow or without he would always be beautiful because he was Aerin.
“Shadow…?” Asterin wondered, his thoughts not quite making it to his mouth.
“I thought it was gone,” Aerin admitted. “But when I saw you on the ground and heard you scream something came over me. It was an anger and fear I'd never felt before and it brought forth whatever traces of Shadow Magic were left in me.”
“You're okay?” Asterin asked. “Still my Aerin?”
“Of course,” Aerin swore and squeezed Asterin's hand. “I'll always be your Aerin.”
“Good,” Asterin muttered. “I lo’ my Aerin…”
There was more to say, it was on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't find the strength to form the words. He thought he could hear Nia now and there was something bright but Asterin was too tired to look. He tried to fight the darkness like Kade always did for him, he really tried, but his head lulled and his eyes fell shut.
“Asterin, no, open your eyes, ASTERIN!”
Eventually he couldn't open them again.
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tamurilofrivendell · 1 year
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Trial By Proximity | Thranduil/Reader
summary: Reader has been brought before Thranduil in the throne room to answer for some crime they committed. They're feeling argumentative and Thranduil is amused and intrigued by their bravery stupidity.
written using a prompt from this list - “I’ll kill you if you touch me.”
read on ao3
a/n: listen, this took on a life of its own lmao. no real warnings but I guess it might have tiptoed towards the border of almost-steamy-ish, I really don’t know.
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You had been brought before the King of The Woodland Realm to answer for your supposed crimes. The argument that had ensued had been unexpected to all in the room, especially the king if the flash of surprise you thought you’d seen cross his expression was anything to go by. It seemed he had expected you to simply wilt beneath his hard gaze and acquiesce to his every word.
Never.
"I'll kill you if you touch me." Slipped from your mouth in a hiss as you stared up at the statue-like figure of the king on his throne. He sat high above you, chin held high, face impassive. Your words had stemmed from his threat to grab you by the arm and personally drag you to the dungeons hismself and throw away the key.
His gaze pinned you in place as a suffocating silence descended over the room. The guards shifted uneasily but you held firm, keeping your head up and your shoulders back, refusing to yield. Something flickered in his eyes as he looked back. Curiosity? Amusement? It wasn’t there long enough for you to figure out what it was but you could swear that the ghost of a smirk had started to tug at the corners of his lips as he stared at you.
Rising gracefully from his throne, Thranduil dismissed everyone else in the room with a gentle flick of his wrist. The guards could barely believe it but they also knew that their king was well equipped to protect himself in the event of a fight, and you were unarmed. You heard the shuffling of feet rushing to do their king’s bidding and leave the room but your gaze was locked together with Thranduil’s own as he began his slow descent down the steps. His hands were clasped behind his back as he closed the distance between you both.
You could clearly see now that, yes, he was definitely smirking.
“You will kill me?” His deep voice filled the room, echoing around you as a gentle mirth sparkled in his eyes. He was amused by you. Where most withered beneath his gaze, you stood tall. Defied him. It was foolish, stupid. It was also curious, intriguing.
“Yes.” You stared him down, though now that you were so close to him it was difficult not to become slightly enthralled. His voice, his eyes, his hair, his scent. He was entirely overwhelming but you reminded yourself why you were here in the first place. Reminded yourself that he was paranoid and distrusting. He was cold, he was cruel. He refused to listen to reason. You would not allow yourself to be enamoured by something so simple as his appearance. You would not fall under his spell.
Thranduil’s smirk widened slightly as he looked down his nose at you. He had moved closer, into your personal space, tilting his head just slightly as he regarded you. His hair fell down his broad chest in a wave of starlight and some distant part of you wanted to run your fingers through it, wondering if it was as soft as it looked.
“How, prescisely--” He spoke again, voice of velvet blanketing you, as he started moving. Pacing slowly around you like a wolf circling its prey before going in for the kill. “--would you expect to manage such a feat?” You found yourself overly aware of every single movement he made, forcing yourself not to look at him as he journeyed around you, looking you up and down.
Thranduil reappeared in your peripheral vision, a silver and green blur before he suddenly bent down, leaning in towards you. His nose was inches from your own and you could practically feel his body hovering in the slight space that still lingered between the both of you. His eyes studied every minute movement of your expression, the twitch at the corner of your eye, the nearly imperceptible quiver of your lips.
He was much closer now, far too close, yet he was not touching you. It seemed that he was going to incredible lengths to move as close to you as humanly possible without making any sort of actual physical contact whatsoever. His expression had brightened almost imperceptibly as he moved back to your front to face you and you looked back at him, taking in the unexpected situation you had somehow found yourself in.
He was playing with you.
You lifted your chin defiantly, scowling at him, which only seemed to amuse him more. He shifted ever closer, leaning down again just a little, his nose once more just before your own... he hovered in the space in front of you, gaze briefly roaming over your face as he took in your expression, like he was trying to read you. To see what effect he was having on you.
Your breath had caught in your throat as he came so close and any other clever comebacks you might have had disappeared before you could throw them his way. You swallowed thickly, watching a grin start to tug at his lips as he became more aware of your discomfort.
“Well...?” He pressed, raising one eyebrow to the sky as he dared you to answer his previous question, to continue your tirade against him. Frustratingly, you opened your mouth and still nothing came. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest at your speechlessness, well aware of the effect his little game was having, as he somehow leaned even closer. You could feel his breath mingling with your own as he stood, lips close enough to yours that you could have tilted your head just slightly and touched them with your own...
Stop it, you chastised yourself. He would not enchant you.
Thranduil shifted in front of you and your heart was hammering in your chest with a ferocity that had you thinking you could faint any second. How he was doing it you would never know, it felt like there was no space left between you both at all and yet he was still... not... touching... you.
However, this time you started moving too, stepping backwards away from him. It was entirely out of your control as you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction but you were unable to stop yourself. He followed you, his smirk only growing as his gaze stayed fixed upon your face, taking in every flicker that passed across your expression.
Suddenly, you came to a stop, and your eyes widened. Your back connected with the hard surface of one of the intricate pillars that stretched from floor to ceiling. There was nowhere else for you to go. Thranduil stopped when you did, having followed your entire retreat across the floor. You could feel the heat radiating off his body and you could smell the heady scent of him. The two things combined threatening to completely overwhelm you.
He was still not touching you.
Your gaze was locked with his own, not wanting to be the first to back down, but as the agonisingly silent seconds ticked by, it was just too much as you reached your limit. Your eyes flickered of their own accord, dropping to his mouth for just the briefest of seconds. That was all it took as another wicked grin spread across his face. You forced your gaze back up to his own, anger flaring in your expression at having lost the fight, but you had no chance to do or say anything because suddenly his lips were upon yours, his hands finally on you, fingers grasping your waist as he pressed his body up against your own.
A shiver of satisfaction ran through him as your fingers clawed at his tunic, kissing back instead of pushing him away, finally giving in.
It lasted too long and yet somehow not long enough as Thranduil suddenly let you go and stepped away, taking in the stunned sight of you as he clasped his hands behind his back once more. You were bewildered as the distance returned, and irritated by the fact that you wanted his mouth and his hands back on you.
“Now then.” He tilted his head, looking back at you with another one of those annoying, amused smirks of his. Smugness radiated off him in waves as he already knew the answer to his question. “Do you still wish to kill me?”
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lili863 · 11 months
Text
Last light
Ominis x MC
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MC: *Drags Ominis up a hill,through the highlands as the sun shines in the last hours of the day*
Ominis: *Confused and stressed* MC. Are you really dragging me all the way up here? Where even are we? *the winds began to blow a gentle breeze*
MC: *smiles* A place where I come quite often. You'll like it I promise.
Ominis: *raises a brow* Is that so? You mean to say you ride your broom all the way out here away from school grounds to this place your taking me to?
MC: *laughs softly* Yes. Its not that far.
Ominis: Its far enough to make me worry. Are you sure this place is safe?
MC: Does it feel unsafe?
Ominis: *Feels the calm breezes as birds chrip around him* ...I suppose not. Where exactly are we?
MC: We're almost there.
Ominis: *frowns, trekking up in silence before worry and stress takes over him* Darling...as much as I wish to be here with you right now...I simply have too many things to get done. The owls are just around the corner, I have 3 assignments due by tonight and Sebastian has asked me to help him tonight with Professor Weasly assignment that also due tonight and I worry with the current state of things he's going to need as much help as he can get-
MC: *inhales sharply* Ominis.
Ominis: *Stops rambling*
MC: We are here.
Ominis: *Pauses and closes his eyes before taking a deep breath. The air felt crisp, the wind blew gently, and the warmth of the sun against his skin was perfect*
MC: Come on. We can sit over here.
Ominis: *curiously lets MC sit him down on a soft blanket on the ground* ..Where are we?
MC: *sighs in content* A sanctuary of sorts I guess.. where I find solace, away from the overwhelming chaos of my lif. Its a hill, a little far from hogwarts, the grass here is always soft during the summers. There is actually a big beautiful tree right above us that gives shade during early afternoons. And the sun. *Takes another deep breath* I always find the last light of the day to be perfect.
Ominis: *Reachs a hand out to feel the blanket before a smile creeps up to his face* Did you..plan this?
MC: *frowns and sighs* You need a break, Ominis. Any second longer in that suffocating that library, you would have proabably combusted.
Ominis: *Chuckles* Oh I definitely would have combusted
MC: *laughs* Well I am glad at least your aware of how crazy you've gotten the last few weeks. I dont blame you of course, but I..couldnt bare to let it go on.
Ominis: *stares at MC in worry* I am sorry dove. *Reaches forward to gently graze MC cheeks* I didnt mean to worry you.
MC: *Gazes into his hazy eyes, before reaching forward and touching the dark bags underneath* Well you did. But I know just how you can make up for it.
Ominis: *Smiles softly* And what would that be?
MC: *Her fingers slithers to the back of Ominis neck before she gently pulls him down to her lab*
Ominis: *Sighs contently before relaxing his head against her plump thighs* I dont deserve you my love.
MC: *frowns* Nonsense.
Ominis: * Closes his eyes and feels a a calm wave wash over him* This feels heavenly. Are you sure I am not dreaming?
MC: *leans down before placing a soft kiss on his forehead* No love.
*Omnis's hands glide effortlessly to the back of her head, before MC withdraw, he draws her closer as their lips collide in a passionate kiss*
*MC sighs into the kiss with a blush as Ominis kisses her with an intensity that had her struggling to keep up. MC cradles his jaw as the other weave through his hair allowing Ominis to completely surrender in her warmth *
MC: *Slowly pulls away breathless*
Ominis: *stares at her in adoration and touched* Thank you my sweet. This is all extremely kind of you.
MC: *Smiles softly* I'll feel much better if you rest. Close your eyes love. I'll let you know when its time to go *Strokes his head*
Ominis: *Eyes flutters before they close as he wraps his arms around MC's other hand close to his chest* You spoil me...
MC: *Breathily chuckles* Not nearly enough Ominis...*whispers* Sweet dreams.
Ominis: *Drifts off into the most sweetest slumber he's ever had...*
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agentmmayy · 1 year
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march + april rotation
it’s gonna be...... may finally posting the march + april rotation playlist. combining these two months since most of the music i listened to in march was off the previous rotation list!
flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding 
back for more - nia hendricks: the usual type of slow groove beat i adore that makes me want to dance around with the love of my life. it’s just as sweet as the previous one but it feels... lonely. mournful. i’d be dancing but with a ghost
bodybag - charlotte lawrence: this song is so *clenches fist* i am obsessed with how the body bag fills in for the other person in the relationship and holds her when they can’t or refuse to! the relationship is already dead! she’s holding on! in that liminal space between resurrection and burial! also the vocals in this are insane. my favorite part is ‘she’s at the bowery bar, showed you her paper heart’ and then ‘help me hurt and then i’ll come back’ YEOW
gasp of air - lisa curtis: THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO SING AND SCREAM ALONG AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!!!!!!! and then the lyrics slapped me across the face. ‘but i’ll stay and such ‘cause i think it’s love enough’ ‘i’m yours enough that i come back’ ‘some water if i’m lucky but i would never ask that much’ ‘what kind of person needs to breathe A HEALTHY ONE I’M SURE BUT THAT’S NOT ME’?????????? 
nothing left to give - BAILEN: ‘i wanna live i’m sick of just trying to survive’ *looks into the camera* anyway. obsessed with this band and how weird this song sounds 
kilimanjaro - dolores forever: this song and the next have me asking how songs can be this good. like. is it crack? is that what they put in these?? the music and the vocals are EVERYTHING it’s unlike anything i’ve heard recently and i’m digging it. then the harmonies?? and the lyrics???? ‘a thousand shards of glass from your silver tongue got me like a shot gun’ the way ‘i was young. you were pure ice and snow’ IS SUNG?????? WTF
labour - paris paloma: this has been my hype song for the past few weeks. the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop. 
bad blood - trousdale: another banger for the books!! trousdale always delivers these perfect harmonies and this time it’s a fantastic, bitter song but that’s not the only element! there’s indifference and confusion and acceptance! there’s healing! and the repetition of anyway *patcha holding earbuds meme* perfection
all the love - katie gregson-macleod: katie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions!!!!!!!! this one is SO SAD. i ache each time i listen to it. it doesn’t apply to romantic love but all other types of love and what happens when you lose it and how you deal with that loss. the grief is so thick it’s almost suffocating but as always the way she sings is enough for it to not be overwhelming. every lyric hits but the combination of her voice with ‘but i’d rather do that in bed alone’ is my favorite  
BONUS: here are a few stray songs that didn’t quite fit in the narrative but i wanted to share them anyway :)
far and wide - WILDES: doesn’t quite fit the narrative, but it’s a good follow up to all the love. it’s toned down more and easier to get lost in, but still woven with the running strand of grief that makes it sorrowful. once again, back at it with the yearning 
ava - famy: this song had me by the throat the first time i heard it in teen wolf and it still does. chewing glass over the switch between ‘this world is primal’ + ‘this world is rabid’ to ‘this world is pure’ + ‘this world is learning’  and ‘my conscious burning, my beastly flaw’ 
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tem60 · 1 year
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may i request a kakyoin x gender neutral reader where they're in a big crowd, which makes reader feel overwhelmed and break down?? would really appreciate :]
such a sweet request.. I hope what I've written meets your expectations, it was truly fun to write so I did extend it a bit! Sorry it took me a while to reply tho:')
also sorry if it's confusing anyhow! English isn't my first language
Kakyoin Noriaki x gender neutral reader - "eyes are the mirror of one's soul"
contains: mentions of panic attack and two idiots in love
word count: ~2,3k
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Travelling from Hong Kong to Singapore was pretty amazing considering the views. Although the Crusaders didn't have much time to enjoy themselves, thankfully it was enough to notice different beautiful landscapes. Many stand users has been fought, including Jean-Pierre who joined you on your adventure to defeat that Dio guy, wherever he might be. Somehow this trip didn't feel as deadly as it should be with all those men fighting for the same goal (mostly) in their own goofy ways.
Departure from Singapore to India was supposed to be no different, similar even. Just as Avdol said - we're going to love this country. It was indeed lovely, all those interesting people, change of cultures, truly everything! Some could've find it inconvenient. Some will say it's an amazing country, full of a lifetime story, a must to visit. But to you it felt like a torture. You didn't have much time to think about anything else since the time you guys have been noticed by civilians - they swarmed you like moths to light.
It was even suffocating, being squished between all those people who were constantly shouting at you about purchasing some of the items they wished to sell or if you had any money on you. You did hear however, that someone has stolen Noriaki's wallet and Polnareff's cursing about them touching his belongings. People around the crusade guided you away from the crew - at least you felt that way. You were almost lost, all those people pulling you further and further away from everyone with no chance of running and saving yourself. Feeling small and vulnerable your breath started to speed up, same goes to your heartbeat. Fighting stand users wasn't as terrifying as being left in such an enormous crowd of people with no time to take a breath nor a place to move around freely. It was overwhelming, you were almost frozen in place. Tears started to spill from your eyes without even you noticing it, it was so chaotic, clearly too much for you to handle.
You heard a noise, was it someone screaming your name? You couldn't tell because of the panic you felt at this moment, you did recognise that voice, yet your brain couldn't register what was truly going on. Everything seemed to be more overwhelming with each passing second, all those noises mixing into one huge sound that hurt your head like never before. Only then a hand has been put on your shoulder, it wasn't as greedy as other people's surrounding you. You did flinch at that sudden touch though, but once you saw the face of the person this hand belonged to - everything seemed to somehow quiet down.
Kakyoin. It was Kakyoin who screamed your name seconds before. You saw sincere concern in his eyes, even if his hand was squished by people gathered around - he still somehow reached to you and tried to bring you back on Earth. You haven't noticed how you started shaking and when exactly did it start, but seeing his face brought some sort of comfort to your heart even if you still felt overwhelmed. Words started to finally make sense in your head.
"Y/N's here! I've found them!" Noriaki informed probably other fellow crusaders to let them know your location. He started jostling between people to be by your side, he even increased his tone of voice to let them know what he's up to and that it's an emergency. When he had the chance he grabbed your arm and began to pull you away from the crowd following the path that Hierophant Green made to once again meet other crusaders. It was clear that he didn't say much to you in this moment, his first reaction was to get you away from that crowd as fast as possible.
Once you've reached the end of this chaos, you sat somewhere - doesn't matter where nor did you care to acknowledge it - trying to calm yourself down. Taking deep breaths that unfortunetly left a burning sensation in your lungs, you tried to take your time but it was still not enough. Noriaki sat right next to you giving you some wellneeded space, but his hand found it's way behind your back and was simply left there to let you know that he's here. You appreciated this gesture feeling content with having him so close. Even between having a panic attack you felt grateful for it, you knew he cared and tried to help.
"How are you feeling, Y/N? What happened?" he started to rub your back and looked at you straight in the eyes to know what has made you react like this. Of course he wasn't stupid, he did assume that you had a panic attack but probably he had never dealt with it himself, or so ypu thought, that might be the reason why he's being so patient - waiting for your answer even if it took you ages to reply. Caring enough to run back into the crowd of people who previously has stolen his wallet. Having it so clearly highlighted you started to blush a bit and tried to shoo your tears away, feeling anxious about being so scared of crowds, it was rather embarrassing.
"..I'm.. not sure but uh,.. no, I don't know, I'm sorry-"
"There's no need to say sorry, it's fine. You got me really worried.. US, I meant us.. everyone was afraid that someone could've attacked you" his words only made butterflies in your stomach fly around and make you blush even harder. You felt vulnerable with him and yet felt as if you shouldn't be because of the panic attack you just had. But the feeling of being overwhelmed seemed to have only one cure for it. That was to relax, and you felt truly relaxed right next to him. You caught feelings for the red-head teenager. Who wouldn't? He was really sweet and polite but wasn't afraid of showing his real side with those he trusts most. He's the type to joke around a bit, make ironic comments, bully Polnareff just for the fun of it in a friendly manner, there's much more to him than he thinks.
Being lost in thoughts you forgot to answer him, so after some time you simply nodded at his words and made a shaky sigh fly out of your lips.
"I hate crowds, especially if they expect something from me.. it's so frustrating, my head pulsates from all that ruckus" while having this sentence escape your mouth you hugged yourself and scooting closer to him which he noticed immediately.
He simply chuckled at your admission and sat even closer to you feeling somehow consent with having you so close to him. "yeah, I've noticed, but you're safe now, just breathe and it'll be fine than ever. I'm sure some water could help, should I get some for you?."
"I'm not sure.. I'll just.. I..-" another sigh has left your lips, you felt bad for causing the crusaders trouble with such behaviour but you couldn't help it. What was one supposed to do in this situation? Being in such a suffocating place was a pain in the ass, it was unbearable and it caused you to have those negative thoughts that just never left your head. It's normal, right? Why can't anyone make this stop.
"Hey." Noriaki caught your attention by touching your shoulder again, he gave you a side hug probably because of your now shaking body from all that overthinking. Wiping away tears that highlighted your face, you started to fully focus on what he was about to do next.
You turned your head towards him and looked at his thighs, you couldn't look him in the eyes being afraid that he'll see your face in such a vulnerable moment. Although you did wish that you could show him those feelings - it was much easier said than done.
"Take it easy, don't want you to feel stressed again. I'll bring you some water, hold on."
He squeezed you tighter to himself before standing up and heading to a bar for your drink. He acted as if he knew what to do perfectly in this situation which was somehow comforting, but also concerning. Did he happen to have panic attacks before? Or maybe he had helped someone else in his past? Either way you were grateful for his time and kind gestures towards you. Your eyes followed him with when he started to get further and further away, that was when your head started spinning but not with guilt of your sudden breakdown, but the thoughts of him lingering in your mind. You felt so.. warm, thanks to him. His gestures lead you to somehow feel loved, if only he could reciprocate your feeling.. Perhaps he was just being nice? It's Kakyoin we're talking about, he's generous about what he does even if he's sometimes painfully honest with what he has in mind.
"Here. They didn't have more ice but I hope it's good enough." his voice made you realise that you've missed him making his way back to you. You took the glass he had in his hand and drank a few sips from it. "Feeling any better, pumpkin?"
You only nodded your head at his question, still feeling flustered about thoughts that were mostly about him, especially once he called you such a nickname. He gave it to you when you were teasing each other with petnames wanting to prove to Jean-Pierre and Mr. Joestar that it's not that hard to give a nickname to someone and simply stick to it. Since then it was the nickname Nori has given you himself.
He sat next to you and stared at your hands shyly. What you didn't know about was the way his heart started to pound in his chest rather fastly. His own head raced with thoughts about your well-being and how he needed to comfort you. He was good with his words with other people, but with you? He didn't know what to say, which was truly frustrating because he felt the urge to tell you much more than he already did. He found your eyes so mesmerising, even noticed how he doesn't like to see tears falling from them. Your smile? Probably his favourite thing about you, your face is so vibrant with colors and the fascination you hold towards a certain topic that you're interested in. He loved to listen to your voice, was it shy and quiet at times or if it was louder than usual - it didn't matter to him. What mattered the most was how he adored you.
"Can I do something for you? To help you calm down a bit?"
"I'm not sure.." was your hesistang reply to his questions.
"Let me at least. I want to try something." you didn't know what he had in mind, honestly Noriaki didn't know himself what he was doing but he let his instinct to kick in and took your hands in his slowly pulling them closer so they could lay on his thighs. "Pulling your head out of such thoughts might.. might be the best option, so I.. hope this will help.." he added and started to feel much more nervous than he had ever felt before. How did his voice not crack that much? He was quite impressed by this, however it was still a mystery to him.
He didn't say much after that, he just held your hands and gently rubbed them with his thumbs to feel how smooth your hands are compared to his, they felt truly godly to him. As if it lit a flame in his heart and made him automatically feel warmer inside. But it wasn't about him and his feelings, what mattered to him the most was your comfort and safety.
Your heart was pounding really hard, a thought crossed your head that maybe he could hear it loud and clear. Of course it was a silly thought, but being in love with him made this statement more exciting and a bit scary. He held you so gently you felt as if you were close to melting in his hands, even if the only direct you got from him was your knees touching and holding hands. Pink dusted both of your cheeks, same goes to Kakyoin. He felt shy like never before, he got some urges to leave your hands and forget about what just happened but he couldn't bring himself to let you go - not after you lightly squizzed his hands and smiled widely having your eyes focused down and not on his face.
"So.. did it help?" he asked shyly literally covering his face with hair noodle that was freely flying around his face when he moved. He wanted to hide his blushing cheeks yet to no avail. You nodded without hesistation this time and smiled warmly for him. Your eyes met his gorgeous lavender one's and immediately got lost in this shade of purple that made you feel inner peace and vice versa.
It felt like a true confession to him - a shy way of hinting you his feelings. Yet to you it felt like a magical moment that only happened in books. Maybe there's much more to your relationship with Nori that you had already noticed being afraid of giving yourself unreasonable hope for something more.
'I wanted to tell you something..' both of you had in mind. Both of you had intentions to finally confess to one another, yet you didn't. You wished to wait for a better opportunity to do so even if you guys were already much more than just friends judging from this somehow intimate moment you have just shared with each other. Especially while still being lost in your eyes.
Yes, it certainly felt like home. He felt like home.
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baby-girl-e · 2 years
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Cruel Summer part 1
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Characters - Rooster x f!Reader, Penny 
Summary - You finally break out of your suffocating small town, and find your next adventure in a certain fighter pilot
Word Count - 1.5k
Warnings - fluff, serious conversations, unspecified trauma
A/N - This is my first fic in a VERY long time, so please be kind. This chapter is a bit slow, but I needed to set up the story well enough. Another thing I should mention, the reader is very much based on myself, and my own life experiences so if something isn’t super relatable I’m really glad tbh!
Growing up in a small town where everyone knew everyone was both helpful, and extremely unhelpful. For example, you left your garage door open? Someone is there to close if for you. However, if you mess up even a little bit? Everyone also knows. Just graduating from high school you couldn't afford much more than to go to the local college and live at home. There's no shame in it, truly, you just always felt like you were destined for more than a psychology degree and a minor in dance. The only reason you didn't major in dance was because you wanted to be a dancer. Not just teach it. You had danced from ages 3 to 15 in a studio before you made the high school team and captained it your senior year. Through your four years of college you danced on the college team and competed in cities across the country, and the occasional trip to dance in a few festivals across Europe. This was your only escape from the mind numbingly simple life you lead at home. So after graduation when you were given the opportunity to be a regular performer at some touristy restaurant in San Diego, you took it without a second thought. 
That's what brought you here, the Hard Deck bar, stuck in the doorway unable to fully enter. You’d never truly spent much time in a bar back home, sheltered and squashed by your parents' religious views and the general lack of bars in your area. You rub your hands on your jean shorts and force  yourself to take a step in. You were immediately overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people there, but you pushed further in and made a b-line for an open chair at the bar near a window. Once you had sat down you made quick work of finding your exits and sussing out any imminent threats, a habit you have yet to kick from a particularly traumatic experience. After you had done a good 360 degree look about, you started to settle. All too soon a woman from behind the bar approached you. “What can I get you hun?” she seemed nice and approachable, so you decided to enlist her help on what you should do. “I've uh… never actually been to a bar before? What do you recommend?” she let out an amused laugh and smiled at you. “I'll get you a light beer to start and we can go from there yeah?” you nod your appreciation and hope for the best. When she returns to the bar she introduces herself as a woman named Penny. “Nice to meet you Penny, i’m Y/N.” Penny shakes your hand, “you’re not from around here are you?” You feel your cheeks start to heat up, not just from the hot California sun somehow making its way into the bar. “Is it that obvious?” she just laughs at you before leaning in close. “I”ll let you in on a little secret, most of the people here are Navy pilots or somehow related to one. And I'm almost certain that it's a requirement to drink over there.” you suppose that’s good to know, given that you’ve already seen more Navy men and women then you have civilians. You figured that moving somewhere nicknamed ‘Fightertown USA’ wouldn’t be too bad to get used to given the fact that you lived a mere 30 minutes from a major Air Force base back home. You are starting to discover huge differences between the two military branches. You’re thrown back to the present when you hear loud laughing and talking coming from the entrance. “Speak of the devil, here comes some of the best ones. Good luck Y/N.” You weren't entirely sure what that was supposed to mean but you figured you were going to find out sooner or later. 
Later came incredibly fast as a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt approached you. You were immediately overwhelmed once more, but this time it was just him at fault. He was easily one of the most attractive men you had ever seen, but it was his confident but goofy energy you immediately picked up on. “Haven’t seen you around here before, you new here?” wow, you needed to check up on what kind of vibe you were giving off, that's two now. “Yeah, I’m doing a bang up job of hiding it huh?” he laughs into his beer and nods. “Well in all honesty you don’t truly want to fit in here.” you look at him quizzically and he clarifies. “We navy folk are a bit of an odd bunch. Having the most dangerous job in the world means you have to be an idiot to do it voluntarily. So,” he gestures to the rest of the rowdy crowd, “here are your idiots.” you laugh a good hearty laugh you hadn’t heard from yourself in years. 
You glance at the ‘idiots’ he mentioned and couldn’t help but smile. They seemed carefree and happy, even with the looming threat of death on them every time they go to work. “I don’t know, maybe less idiotic and more… sure of themselves. Nobody who is unsure of themselves risks their life for someone else's.” He’s taken back by your response, expecting you to agree with him. “What's your name miss confidence?” Outside of the stage you have never been described as confident, but this man seems to have other plans for you. “I’m Y/N. What's your name, Navy guy?”  He introduces himself as 'Rooster’ but quickly back tracks at your confused look. “That’s my callsign, sorry force of habit. My real name is Bradley.” Most Bradley's you knew went by brad, and totally acted like it. This one? He seemed very un “brad” like. “Well it's very nice to meet you, Rooster.” 
“So, what brings you out here miss Y/N?” You almost missed his question, distracted by his mustache. You were really hoping to see what it felt like against your lips at some point. “I’m here for work. I’m a dancer at that new restaurant downtown.” his eyes bulge slightly, not expecting to hear that. “Oh, the ‘WaterFront’? I had no idea it was a dinner and a show type of thing.” you nod, the place hadn’t had their first show yet, just dinner for the time being. “Yeah we haven’t had our big opening show yet, that’s next week.” You chat for a while about your show, and your past. It felt extremely easy to talk to this man, conversation flowing easily between you. He told you a little bit about why he was here, and his past.  You learned he had just finished a mission that almost claimed both his and his captain's life. 
“That's terrifying Rooster. Does that happen a lot???” You have no idea how this man goes to work everyday, knowing that it could be his last. “I guess that depends, we aren’t going on crazy dangerous missions everyday. However, just getting into a jet is risky. Anything could go wrong.” you never thought of it that way. You always assumed that they were always fighting something. He senses your unease and shifts a little closer. “What about you Y/N? Any crazy adventures?” The subject change is welcomed, but you wish it had been any other subject. “I don't know, nothing quite compares to being a fighter pilot. He just shakes his head and puts on what looks like a pained but genuine smile. “Honestly, the times in my life that I have been the most scared, were the ones on solid ground. Everyone is entitled to be scared, whether that's dodging bullets in the sky or driving down the road. Scary is scary.” It made you a little sad to think how this man had become so wise in what seemed to be his young life. He seemed so emotionally mature for his age, it was refreshing. “Well, I moved here from my small sheltered town. I have traveled before, but I’m just now getting to make my own decisions outside of my parents. I’m searching for who I really am and that's just petrifying.” Roosters' eyes never leave yours for a second while you speak. He seems mesmerized by what you’re telling him. His expression changes as you finish into one that can only read trouble. “How would you feel about doing some soul searching? I know a place, if you trust me.” You had only met this man maybe an hour ago, but you feel like you could trust him with your life. Alarms are going off in your head as you scoot closer to him and say, “Absolutely.” 
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hoodiehydra · 1 year
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Family comfort fics jskskdskjds
Idk maybe an Andro Bros fic (bc there aren't enough of those in the world ngl) where Agoti has to be the one comforting Aldryx
Aldryx blames himself for what happened to them and Agoti needs to reassure him otherwise
YES
Oh my gosh this was almost 1.2K words I am not even joking wth-
Warnings: none. No swearing at all, this is pure angsty comfort.
I put all my big sibling thoughts and feelings into this. This is sometimes how I feel towards my siblings, and I wish my sister would understand how much I care. But- you know, I don’t think she would ever know. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
—————
I’m back, and I’m here to stay.
It’s been a year.
A year.
Yeah.
And in that year, everything changed.
A year since what, though?
Agoti’s return.
Even after that one year, it still hadn’t gone back to normal. At least, to Aldryx. The poor guy was not sitting in his room, crying over the past events during the two years of Agoti’s no-longer-mysterious disappearance. Oh, how he wanted to kill the Dearests so badly… he really would, he, in fact, could. So, what’s stopping him?
Geography. And also a whole load of self-loathing and guilt. He hated feeling this way, but he couldn’t help it. Choking out hushed sobs and tears, he was huddled up in his covers, trying to find warmth and comfort in a piece of fabric. It was all so overwhelming, his thoughts just up in his mind’s personal space. It was suffocating.
He felt so useless when his little brother was gone, he couldn’t do anything, and he knew that. He knew all his contributions had no use in the investigations. At that time, all they could assume was that he was dead. Gone, and without a single trace. Those two years were the worst ones ever. Never seeing his brother again, and he couldn’t help at all, it should have been him. At least, then, he wouldn’t worry about his brother. He would have been safe. Why him?
Sighing softly at how pathetic he felt then, he wiped the last of his tears dry. Can’t have his brother or father worrying, after all.
Grimacing, he stayed in his room, hoping that he would finally be left alone from his thoughts for a while. He needed some space to breathe. But no, all he was thinking was: you let this happen… it should have been you. You are useless, maybe next time you should be the one to be captured. Maybe then no one would need to worry, huh?
Hatred consumed him as the horrid thoughts invaded his mind. He knew they weren’t true, everyone would still worry about him. Especially Agoti. It wouldn’t help anyone but himself to ease off the pain.
But that little part that always was the reason for his self doubt, never gave him an easy time. The words got louder and louder, and he believed them. He believed those toxic words plaguing his mind and it only hurt him more. The feeling was sickening, overwhelming. He didn’t feel like he could turn to anyone about it. He’s the big brother, the strong one, the pillar for his brother. This wasn’t his role. No… he couldn’t be weak. He couldn’t allow himself to feel that small vulnerability, even for a moment. No. He always acted strong, even if he was breaking inside. He couldn’t face the fact that yes, he was not perfect. He has feelings. Valid ones. But it felt so weird to open up, to show how soft or vulnerable you could be, especially to those you were supposed to be strong for.
He hated the feeling in general. It was sickening, awful, it made him feel so anxious and spiteful of his own feelings.
Damn you, emotions and feelings.
Still tangled up in the silk, the background noise was drowned out in his thoughts— funny, the background noise was always someone screaming, didn’t matter who. And yet, he couldn’t hear them. The one time he wished he could hear the noise, and he couldn’t. Talk about awful timing.
Aldryx quietly wept in the room, but he wasn’t the quietest crier. He did have a low volume, but maybe those with sharp hearing could pick up some sounds.
Agoti… his hearing was incredibly sharp. As in, I-can-hear-the-neighbours-arguing-next-door kinda sharp.
At first, Agoti ignored the little weeps for his brother’s privacy. He knew what Aldryx was going through, without asking. It was a special bond the brothers shared, they knew each other so well, even behind closed doors, they could sense what the others was going through.
The more Agoti left his brother alone, however, the longer Aldryx stayed in the room, locked up.
Agoti hated how his brother felt about himself, because it was not at all true. Not even in the slightest.
Finally, he decided to do something about it.
Quietly shuffling towards the door, he gently knocked thrice on the hollow, wooden door.
Aldryx stiffened at the sudden sound, but he already knew who it was and what it meant. Agoti knew.
There was no point in hiding it anymore, he could try to deny it, but what was the point? Agoti knows. If he knows, there is no doubt Solazar knew, but… he would definitely open up to his brother more. It wasn’t that he was mad at Sol or anything, it was just easier to open up to someone nearer his age. Besides, Sol was probably a millennia older than him.
With a soft ‘click’, Aldryx slid open the door for his little brother, but he made a point to cover his face, or his eyes, with the blanket. Agoti made his way in, while Aldryx laid back down on the bed, now soaked with his tears. It was very hot, he was sweating. But it also felt really cold, freezing actually. He didn’t exactly know how to feel about it.
He gave up hiding himself. Why hide when everyone knows the truth?
“I’m guessing this is about my kidnapping?” Agoti asked.
Hesitating, Aldryx nodded.
“And you think this is your fault?” Agoti continued.
Again, Aldryx nodded. Shoot, he didn’t think Agoti would be this specific.
“Look, big brother. I know you were scared when I was gone. I will never know how you felt, and that’s fine. You don’t have to explain, but I’m back. I’m back, and I am here to stay. I will never leave you. I won’t understand how you feel, because I have not gone through what you went through. But I’m here, you can always talk to me. Okay? Stop hiding. It’s been a year, let’s stay as close as we can. I know it’s difficult for you, because it is for me too. But none of this is your fault. Listen to me. None of it is your fault. Fuck the Dearests. It’s them. You did all you could, and I appreciate you for that. Thank you, big brother, for all you did. Thank you.” Agoti murmured.
Whatever Agoti had said had finally caused Aldryx’s thoughts to go silent. It was all quiet. Finally, he was at peace. Both sighed with relief that Aldryx had stopped panicking.
Aldryx looked down, thinking about what Agoti had said, when the younger brother leapt towards Aldryx and hugged him, holding him in a warm and comforting embrace. Aldryx quickly wrapped his arms around his brother, returning the affection, while Agoti’s tail coiled around Aldryx’s now no longer shaking figure.
He was calm.
Agoti was back.
And he was not leaving them again.
And from the open doorway, Solazar softly smiled at the two brothers, happy that Aldryx was now soothed.
They were finally reunited, and nothing would tear them apart again.
—————
GOODBYE THIS WAS SO MUCH WTH 😭😭😭
WELL I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT
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I'm here for about a week, feeding soley on GO materials and now I feel like someone whose late to the party for a blasted decade really. Saying it's a ride would be the understatment of the century. It is such a ride if the thing can be manifested into a rollercoaster it would surpass the ride of death.
A good one though, we seems to reclaim all the verbs, nouns, adjectives and so on for the word faggot, the word refering to the seeding structure of plants became reference for the pinnacle of homosexuality. I'm so overwhelmed to the point I pulled a Daivd Tennant(the eggplant emoji saga) the first time I saw the show being discribed as "fruity" and the leads are "fagging it up" by go on with an internal "What's that suppose to mean" blabber before realizing I should maybe consult urban dictionary for that.
Even though I still haven't figure out how exactly the tag system works, I still adores this place and especially the crowd here. I can openly be in the LGBTQIA+ community without weird side glances, people use pronouns with no fuss, the atmosphere doesn't reek of patirarchy superiority complex, misogyny and casual sexism nonsense. Views are exchanged, arts are made, discussing domestic politics are safe and no one will tell you to shut up and it's fine if we are on different sides, I thank the heavens sex is just sex here it's not some diabolical rituals that can't be shown or discussed. Also I have yet to encouter any kind of cencorship while I worried about the "we will muffle you for the most trivial reason and we will muffle you so hard you'll choke but you're gonna like it" kind of cencorship I need to constantly worry about back in that bottomless pit or aka chinese internet. The show and its fandom somehow...stood out. It's a big hit around the globe while being so unapologetically queer. I've seen the queerbait then no-homo thing played out so often I almost refused to believe there are other canon screen romances other than the cishet options. Here comes Good Omens, standing out unapologetically in that traffic like a black vintage Bentley going 90mph unapologetically in central London.
It feels good. It feels like to breath again after a long time, didn't know you were suffocating until the moment you do.
In all honesty, I only initially felt like someone who's late to the party, I feel like some interstellar refugee who just landed on a brand new planet later. I expect it to be just as barren and devestated as home because after years and years of futile searching you just forget how to be optimistic again.
I am most pleasantly suprised.
I can really sum this whole thing up by "Close Autocratic-Regime-Controlled internet is blasphemous SHIT and after practically Shawshanked myself out into the open with a VPN and get to live in it a bit I start to dispise that pile of pustulant blasphemous shit even more" but no, I deserved my rant, you guys deserved the praise.
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macyqwrites · 1 year
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credit to @yvesdot for this template!
happy almost new year! 2022 was the first year in a very long time that i consistently wrote every month, so i'm excited to look back on it! my writing this year was dominated by my latest wip, next day after dawn, including both canonverse content and a lot of stupid au bullshit <3
details under the cut!
january
in january i was still very much in dearer than a friend mode after finishing the first draft in november, but with no progress to make on the book itself i ended up writing some speculative post-canon (and very non-canon) nonsense involving preston getting into a terrible terrible relationship with another man. this one was a collab with @inkgel for which we definitely wrote a sane and normal amount of content
It’s not that he intended for this to happen. But the truth has been bubbling up for so long now, and eroding him a little more each time it does, wearing away at whatever remains of his willpower, his sense of himself, his belief that he has anything left to lose. And he’s already damned. He knows that deep down. He could repent, he supposes. Maybe God would forgive him. But Val won’t. He doesn’t really see the point. And it’s because of that too. Because he’s alone now, in a way he never has been, never could have been for the past eleven years of his life, because he always had someone who was supposed to be his. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to forget it when it feels like a piece of him has been ripped out, leaving a gaping wound that throbs and bleeds and refuses even to begin to heal. So he has to find someone to fill it, even if they don’t fit quite right.
february
in february i was mostly focused on my classes, but that did involve reading paradise lost and briefly getting very fixated on eve. i wrote less than two pages of this, but i was having fun with some dialogue between eve and satan. it was interesting to try to figure out what the pov of someone so ignorant of the world might look like
“Are you an angel?” I ask. That creature that he is talking to as I am talking to you. I do not really know what an angel is. He would not let me listen with him so it could be explained to me. But I know that an angel is something greater than me, and you are greater than me, but you are not Him, so I think maybe that is right. “I was an angel,” you say. “Was?” “I don’t know if I can explain it to you.” I feel something when you say that, something that I have no name for, but I know it is something that is bad to feel. Frustration, I think. I am good at naming things. I am as good as him. Sometimes I wish that He had left some of the animals for me to name too, but that is something that is bad to wish.
march
in march i decided i needed to get out of endlessly spinning dtaf mode. i also read gtn and remembered how much i love ensemble casts. and lo and behold, next day after dawn was born. this was one of the very first scenes i wrote, between mona and her mother austra when mona is (spoilers) experiencing life threatening illness moments. their mother/daughter dynamic is everything to me
“Don’t lie,” she said, and tried not to think about the fact that she sounded more than a little like she was begging. “Don’t—Selene can’t lie for shit, and she told me everything was fine, but she probably just wanted to avoid a difficult conversation, probably thought it was for the best, because she’s an idiot, but if you lie—” The room felt suffocating, stuffy and overly hot. She was suddenly viscerally aware of the sticky dampness of sweat beneath her shirt, and that, somehow, was more overwhelming than the pain that spiderwebbed from her pounding head all the way down her back. Her mother was silent, her face still very nearly impassive, but there was something in the slight furrowing of her brows that Mona thought looked terribly sad. “Don’t you dare,” Mona said furiously. Her eyes were burning. She blinked hard to clear the definitely-not-tears forming there. “Don’t you dare act like I’m going to die.”
april
more ndad snippets! this was from the first full scene i finished, which ended up being prince cyrus' pov of the first night after the coup. he is so mentally ill
Cyrus thought that was a nice enough idea on paper, given the circumstances. But when it became clear that it involved putting on his least comfortable court clothes and shuffling into a musty, overly crowded hall where three scuffed tables and a dozen mismatched chairs had been pushed together in some imitation of a royal banquet, he very quickly began to have second thoughts. Cassandane tried to motion for him to sit at the head of the table when they came in. He sat just to the right of it instead, as he would have if he really had been at court. If the king had been here. But the fact that he wasn’t didn’t make it feel any more right to take his place. So Cyrus didn’t. No one else did either. The chair sat untouched at the front of the room, a ghost in an empty seat. Not a ghost, Cyrus tried to remind himself. Just not here. He would be back soon. They would all be back soon. He couldn’t handle thinking anything else.
may
ndad strikes again! this is going to be most of this. here we have the first darcy pov i wrote, featuring them being sent to woo princess cassandane for prince cyrus and falling head over heels in love with her themself. (take a shot every time someone in ndad has a line about being or not being their father's son)
“I am not a real princess,” she told them after a long moment. “But I am interested in becoming a queen.” She looked one already, Darcy thought. Her eyes were diamond hard, her jaw and cheekbones carved from marble. She could have knocked her father’s statue to the ground and stood on the pedestal in its place and put it to shame. She could have told them to do anything for her, and it wouldn’t have crossed their mind not to obey. She was all that a queen should be. And Darcy was what they should have been. They were not truly the King’s ambassador, nor the Prince’s surrogate. Their loyalty went only as far as their self-interest. They were not their father’s son. But they were, if nothing else, an excellent liar, which was why they could never fully explain the sudden urge they felt to tell her the truth.
june
in june i wrote a short story for a shakespeare-themed horror anthology! it did not get in, but this was my first shot at horror, so i had a ton of fun anyway. i'll probably post this one on ao3 soon -- it's fun little examination of the inherent freakiness of the ending of all's well that ends with, this time with 100% more black magic
Here’s my confession: I don’t love my wife.  Confession’s probably the wrong word though. Cause it’s not like I can tell anyone. Everyone around here thinks we got our perfect miracle of a storybook ending, so maybe I’m the one who’s wrong for not wanting it. Maybe I deserve this. My happily ever after. I don’t know how they believe it. Well, they believe it because I said it, I said I love Helen, and the lie came out smoother than it should have, given the circumstances, because God knows I’ve had too much practice. Maybe I sounded like I meant it. What I actually said was that I’d love her forever. I never said I was smart.
july
we're back in ndad land, and oh boy, this was a month. july was the first time i've ever beaten nanowrimo, fully unintentionally, simply because @wren-is-writing and i went fucking insane with the au fanfiction. but the piece that started it all was renan's backstory, aka renan's spiral into destroying every part of himself over his love for a terrible little boyboss war criminal (hi king cyrus). this is the first time the two of them meet, when cyrus is still in his rakish misbehaving prince era. brainworms are found in the gay old men
The others are already drinking deep again, eager to accept another newcomer into their circle for the night, but your mouth has gone dry. It’s almost hard to look at him. It’s harder to look anywhere else. He notices you staring. When he catches your eye, it makes your heart jump into your throat. “What?” he asks. “Something in my teeth?” You’re barely breathing. “Your Highness,” you manage, and you can’t read the look that crosses his face. Hebes slaps his hand down on the table so hard it makes your glass rattle, and lets out an incredulous, booming laugh. “Stars above, Renan, is that Prince Cyrus?” The boy next to you winks and flashes another incandescent grin. “Just call me Cy.”
august
and here we come to just a small selection of the insane au fanfiction wren and i engaged in. not ALL of it was about cyrenan, just most of it. here's some darcy and cassandane in the criminally extensive college au. darcy's pining, what else is new
It would happen, though, they told themself. It would happen eventually. Because she loved them, they were sure, even if neither of them had phrased it that way exactly. They’d as good as told each other more times than they could count. They had always worked that way, reading between the lines but knowing they were on the same page. “You’re brilliant, you know,” they murmured, dropping their voice so low they were sure only she could hear it. Just one more way of telling her. They knew she’d understand. “At dancing or in general?” “Both.” “I do know,” Cass replied. Her slow, curving smile made them flush too much to hide.  “I want to do this more often,” they whispered. They risked stroking their thumb lightly across her shoulder, a gesture they hoped was too small to catch. “I want to do this all the time.” Forever wasn’t a word they would pull out in public regardless of how softly they were speaking, but they were sure she got that too.
september
we're back to canonverse ndad, thank god. more backstories! this one chronicles austra's girlbossification, and this moment specifically is right after her daughter mona is born
She’s not going to make it. That’s the first thing the doctors tell you. It’s the first thing the Church proclaims on the matter too. You’re still confined to your hospital room. You can’t witness it pronounced in a chapel or read it in a star chart. You have to hear it from your husband’s mouth instead. His eyes are red. He’s been crying. You haven’t been. You’ll break down when there’s nothing left to fight for, not a moment sooner than that. Your daughter needs surgeries that haven’t been performed in a century. Your daughter has long brown eyelashes that flutter when you kiss her while she sleeps. Your husband tells you that her doom is written in the stars, and he says it like he thinks it’s true.
october
and i actually followed austra's backstory up with castor's, because apparently i spent some of this year being semi productive. castor's terrible little psyche revolves around the fact that his brother (everyone's favourite son) died when he was a teenager and he thinks it's his fault for not being a hardened soldier at 17. here he is trying to be a hardened soldier (it's not going well)
You’re not a natural. You’re not even a hard-won talent. Even when you’re not half sleepwalking, you’re slow, clumsy, unsure. Your sword arm grows sore after barely an hour. The straps of your armour chafe against the skin of your neck and leave it raw. You’ve tried your best, memorized a hundred manoeuvres in sparring sessions, but somehow you still freeze in the field. The first time an enemy makes a swipe for you, you run like a coward. By the fiftieth time, you’ve learned to stand your ground, but you don’t know if your allies feel the difference. At night, every comrade you couldn’t save has your brother’s face. He had scars when he—when you saw him the last time. A barely-there line through his eyebrow, another tiny one on his chin. Your father has the gouged-out pit in his left cheek, the mark that proves he is and isn’t invulnerable. Every time a blade flashes in your face, you wonder if you’ll end up with a matching one. It never happens, probably because you’re too quick to flinch back from the strikes that might get close enough. Your skin remains despicably pristine.
november
wow, a new wip? well maybe. this one is still in very early stages, but i got seized by brainworms consisting of "what if richard and bolingbroke from shakespeare's richard ii were lesbians (and not cousins) and fucking hated each other." also it's the 80s, i think. rielle is our larger than life femme richard who's never met an emotion she couldn't turn into a performance, and the narrator here is jack, butch bolingbroke, who has a lot of daddy issues and hates rielle so fucking much.
Don’t get me wrong. My dad was an asshole. He was a dyed-in-the-wool red-blooded homo-hating bigot and I didn’t shed a tear at his funeral. But he was the kind of asshole where if I called my hair a pixie cut and ditched the Doc Martens for mascara when I came around for dinner, he’d happily keep paying my tuition. He’d even hug me, sometimes. Mostly after Mom died. Both arms around my shoulders, like he meant it. So I had my reasons, basically, for not wanting to publicly tell him to go fuck himself.  And even if I hadn’t, she was the last person I owed an explanation. Easy for her to say she’d cut off her parents in a heartbeat when she didn’t have any, just an inheritance ten times the size I was ever getting and a bunch of framed tabloids with pictures of a Rolls-Royce twisted around a lamp post and a cherub of a girl who knew, even at ten years old, how to cry pretty.
december
this past month i've been juggling grad school apps and finals and prepping for my thesis, so i haven't written a ton, but i went back to fun shakespeare fanfiction collabs with @inkgel for a bit! here's me attempting to write julius caesar pov `for our caesar/antony character study that we did after playing those characters on zoom (and playing them as in love, of course)
He could do the same with Antony. Antony wouldn’t make him ask twice for it—wouldn’t make him ask at all, probably, because he is always so delightfully quick to capitulate, all it would really take is a finger ghosted over those plush and slightly reddened lips. But Caesar doesn’t like him to be carved out of marble. He likes it when Antony stumbles, the laugh bubbling up from his throat loose and lazy, the perfect planes of his cheekbones marred with a ruddy flush. When Antony clings onto him, half for balance, half because he’s surely looking for any excuse to. When he hangs on several moments longer than he needs to, his pupils blown, his hair mussed not-quite-artfully, and kisses him with the heady scent of wine still on his breath. Perhaps sometimes he would deign to think he loved it, but it’s been years since that word has been his to offer. These days, it’s only for lesser men to give.
if you got this far, thank you so much for reading! see you all in 2023!!
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mayhem24-7forever · 2 years
Text
Let Me Protect You
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Steve Harrington x Reader
Author’s Notes: I don’t feel comfortable with minors reading any of my fics, even the SFW ones. Please respect my boundaries and let me have a safe place to express myself. Thank you to my darling @chaseadrian for beta reading this. Dividers by @firefly-graphics​
Content Warnings: she/her pronouns, ANGST, a little fluff as a treat, hurt/comfort, swearing/adult language, near drowning, graphic violence, blood and gore, wounds/cuts, near suffocation/asphyxiation, attacked by the demo-bats, drug usage/sedatives/powerful painkillers, a lot of pain (both physical and emotional), two people who are willing to die to protect the other/self-sacrificing tendencies, basically the end of st4 episode 6 and the beginning/end of episode 7 but with reader
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Boat rides in the moonlight with your boyfriend were supposed to be romantic. But this one wasn’t. Likely because they were joined by three other people all being chased by the cops and trying to find a portal to a hell world… so, not romantic at all. Y/N glanced nervously as they got farther out from the shore, leaving the three kids behind. Steve had wanted her to stay with them, like any protective boyfriend would but she had stepped into the boat and refused to move until Steve agreed to let her come. She was stubborn like that, which was one of the reasons Steve had fallen in love with her, but on that particular night it was a quality he was beginning to think was overrated. 
So instead of staying on shore for a safer babysitting duty, she found herself sitting with him at the back of the boat as they sailed towards the point Dustin’s broken compass was pointing to. Nancy sat at the front of the boat with the compass while Robin and Eddie had somehow been roped into rowing. Steve used the flashlight to check out the water around them and Y/N just sat there. She felt a little useless, this was a four person job and by being stubborn she was not only dead-weight to the team but had also left the kids alone to fend for themselves. Maybe Steve was right, although she’d never admit it and as she glanced over at him, he looked angry.
“I think we’re getting closer!” Nancy called from the front.
“Steve?” his girlfriend asked quietly and he turned to look at her. 
“What’s up babe?” he asked.
“I’m sorry.” she said, dropping her eyes down as she fiddled with her hands nervously on her lap.
“What for?” he asked, his face scrunching up into his confused look, something she had gotten used to seeing during their monster-fighting adventures.
“For being a stubborn bitch.” she replied lowly and Steve grabbed her hands suddenly.
“Don’t say that.” he told her. “Sure, you can be stubborn and headstrong and… another word for stubborn. But you’re not a bitch and anyone who calls my girlfriend that is going to have to go a few rounds with me and my fists.”
She chuckled. Steve wasn’t exactly the best fighter and most of his successes had been out of sheer dumb luck. But what he lacked in skill, technique, and really everything else, he made up for with enthusiasm. Whether it was a jock back in high school that was bothering her, a group of Russian soldiers, or a ten-foot demogorgon, Steve was going to see it through to the end.
“I seem to recall that most of your fights end up with you down on the ground, bruised as hell, so I think I could take you.” she joked and he laughed before she got serious again. “But really Steve, I’m sorry for never listening when you try to keep me safe. I just want to keep you safe, for once.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry, I do the same thing to you all the time. I mean just the other night you told me not to poke that tarp with an oar and Eddie almost ended up stabbing me with his beer bottle shiv.” Steve said and she remembered just how that moment had felt.
She wasn’t angry at him for not listening, that always came afterwards, but the feeling that had overwhelmed her when she saw sharp glass pointed at his throat was the paralyzing fear that he was going to get hurt. After everything they had been through –fighting demogorgons, demodogs, the mindflayer, Russians– all they wanted to do was keep the other safe, even if that meant their self-sacrificing tendencies clashed with one another. 
So when Dustin and Max told them that a local girl’s death wasn’t as straightforward as it seemed and they fell down a rabbit hole of trying to cure Max of Vecna’s curse, she and Steve were once again caught in a cycle of disagreement and self-sacrifice. They bickered constantly, he couldn’t understand why she suddenly had a death wish and she used the ‘is it because I’m a girl’ card more often than she probably should have. She was being more stubborn than usual and every time she used herself as a shield, Steve got a little bit angrier. 
“I just don’t want you to get hurt. Everytime I see you bruised and bloody it makes me feel like I failed and it scares me. I just… I can’t lose you, Steve Harrington.” she said earnestly.
“And I feel the exact same way. And I know it sounds a little misogynistic for me to insist on being the big tough guy who saves the helpless woman, but I don’t protect you because you’re a girl. I protect you because you’re my girl.” he replied and she put a hand up to his cheek.
“I guess we have to make an agreement that we’re going to trade off who gets to do the protecting.” she said softly, gazing into his hazel eyes.
“I guess we are.” he replied. “So let me protect you tonight and you can protect me tomorrow. Deal?”
“Deal.” she said and they both smiled at one another, feeling like they were the only people in the world.
“Woah, woah, woah.” Nancy’s voice from the front of the boat said, breaking through their focus on one another. “I think it’s here!”
Nancy held out the compass and they all leaned in to see that it was spinning wildly, indicating they had reached to source of the disruption to the magnetic fields. Dustin’s voice rang through the walkie talkie and Robin picked it up to tell him what was going on. Y/N was looking at the compass when she felt Steve shift next to her, looking over to find him removing his shoes and socks.
“Steve, what are you doing?” she asked.
“Somebody’s gotta go down there and check it out.” he replied as he continued pulling his shoes off. “Unless one of you four can top being a Hawkins High swim co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years, then it’s gotta be me. No complaints, alright?”
“Steve…” Y/N began lowly but he cut her off.
“Let me protect you.” he said before smiling. “Don’t go back on our deal now.”
“Fine.” she replied begrudgingly, knowing she was beat.
“Hey, I’m not complaining.” Eddie said as he began wrapping a plastic bag around the flashlight to make it as water-proof as he could. “I do not wanna go down there.”
Steve stood up and took off his yellow sweater, revealing his bare chest. It was a sight she usually welcomed because it often meant they were going to have sex, but it was not a welcome sight this time. Of course he looked gorgeous, toned just right with a patch of dark hair on his chest, but seeing it meant he was about to jump into a lake to find a hell gate, something that was really beginning to set in. He dropped his sweater on top of his shoes and looked around at the water. Eddie finished wrapping the flashlight and handed it to him, wishing him luck as Nancy and Robin followed suit.
“Steve.” Y/N said and he turned from the water to look at her. “Be careful… for me, please.”
He leaned down to give her a quick kiss, squeezing her hand before he smiled and jumped into the lake, disappearing into it’s dark depths with a splash. The boat rocked from his jump but Eddie and Robin worked to make sure it didn’t capsize. The boat soon leveled out and they were once again floating on a very still lake, nothing but a flat expanse of water. Robin leaned over and grabbed her hand reassuringly, a gesture which was very much appreciated as her anxiety flared up. Nancy was keeping time with a stop watch and Y/N couldn’t bring herself to ask how long he had been under because it felt like years for her. An eternity spent staring at water and waiting for Steve to return, to see so much as a bubble break the surface.
“Where are we at Wheeler?” Robin asked. 
“Closing in on a minute.” Nancy replied.
“Just out of curiosity, do we happen to know how long Harrington can hold his breath for?” Eddie asked.
“Two minutes.” his girlfriend replied quietly, not moving her eyes from the water. “Steve can hold his breath for two minutes while he swims.”
A silence fell over them once again as they continued waiting and hoping. Robin shifted anxiously and the air was so tense it felt like it could have been cut with a knife.
“Time?” Eddie asked, sending a worried glance towards Y/N’s back as she didn’t move a muscle.
“A minute fifty…” Nancy said and she started to count it down in her head, thinking about her boyfriend, determined to jump in after him if it passed two minutes.
Ten- his confident air.
Nine- how much he cared for the kids.
Eight- how stubborn he was.
Seven- his laugh.
Six- his voice.
Five- his charming smile.
Four- how ridiculously stubborn he was.
Three- his soft hair. 
Two- his beautiful eyes.
One- how ridiculously goddamn stubborn he was.
“That’s it, I’m going in after him.” She said and stood up, getting ready to jump in.
“Wait, hold on!” Robin insisted. “I’m sure he’s fine, he’s-”
Robin was cut off by Steve bursting through the surface next to the boat, rocking it so much that she likely would have fallen out if Eddie hadn’t steadied her. 
“I found it!” he yelled and moved to the side of the boat, grabbing it as he breathed heavily. 
She had never been so happy to see his her boyfriend, drenched and heaving in breaths with a smile on his face. She sunk to her knees instantly and leaned forwards over him.
“Oh. My. God. I. Thought. You. Were. Gone!” she scolded him, pressing aggressive kisses to the top of his head between words.
He took one hand off the boat to hold hers, squeezing it reassuringly as Robin radioed Dustin to report the good news.
“It’s pretty wild.” Steve told the group. “It’s more a snack-sized gate than the mama gate but still, it’s pretty damn big.”
He smiled, clearly proud of himself before he disappeared under the surface for a second, looking confused when he popped back up. She had dropped his hand when he had gone under but she suddenly had the urge to grab it once again and not let go. He looked around him but didn’t see anything and as he turned back towards them, he was yanked under once more. But this time he wasn’t alone, she had been clutching his hand when he got pulled under and she had been pulled out of the boat. The last thing that went through her brain as she was pulled overboard was ‘fuck, this isn’t gonna be good’.
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Steve had thought it was supposed to be simple. Just jump in the freezing cold lake, swim to the bottom, find a magic gate to a hell dimension, and get back in the boat so they could plan their next move. Being dragged through the water and down towards the hole to hell by a large tentacle wrapped on his ankle was not part of the plan and neither was having his girlfriend still holding his hand when it happened. The second he realized that whatever was pulling him under and towards the gate was also taking her as well, his eyes widened in fear. He tried to let go so she could float away but she kept a death grip on his wrist, seemingly determined not to lose hold. They had been pulled under without preparation and they were both running out of air as the creature, a long tentacle, pulled them further and further down. Steve didn’t take his eyes off her, ignoring the burning in his lungs as he watched her exhale her last bit of air and begin choking on water, panic in her eyes. He wanted to scream at her to let go of him, to save herself, but he could do nothing except try to wrench his wrist free of her hand. But she wouldn’t let go no matter how hard he tried. They were moving fast, so fast that the tentacle pulled them through the gate before Steve lost the last of his air.
The tentacle threw them into the air as it pulled them in and gravity readjusted so they flopped down hard onto a patch of slimy vines. The tentacle did not let go though, only continuing to pull Steve and his girlfriend further from the gate as they choked up water and tried to breath. Steve could feel the skin on his bare back being shredded and he hoped that her clothes would protect her. Steve smacked into a slimy, vine covered mass and the tentacle let go, disappearing as his girlfriend flew into him. It knocked the wind out of both of them and it was a few seconds of panting before Steve was able to pull himself together enough to realize they were both still breathing. Her chest heaved as she lay on her back and Steve scrambled to move over her, assuring himself that she was in fact still alive.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked frantically, his hands searching her body for injuries before moving to her face as she blinked rapidly, a little dazed from almost drowning. “Baby please, I have to know if you’re okay.”
“I’m okay…” she rasped out, her voice a little hoarse and Steve dropped his head down in a sigh of relief. “I’m probably a bit bruised but I don’t think I’m really hurt. Are you okay, Steve?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.” He answered before pulling her into a tight hug a hand on the back of her head cradling it. “Fuck…”
They shifted to sit up together and he took in the sight of his girlfriend, scratched up and covered in disgusting grime. To him, it was the most beautiful sight in the world because it meant she was alright. They stayed there for a moment just holding one another as they caught their breath, clinging on to each other like they could be ripped apart at any moment, which was a distinct possibility in the Upside Down. Steve pulled back and put his hands on her cheeks, shaking as he stared into her eyes.
“Why didn’t you let go? You should have just let go!” he said and she shook her head.
“And leave you all alone? Never.” she replied.
“What happened to letting me protect you?” he asked.
“Technically, you never told what to do.” she replied and he shook his head incredulously, the barest trace of a smile on his face. “And I promised I’d let you save me, not that I’d save myself.”
“You stubborn…” he said before pulling her in for another hug, glad to have her safe in his arms. “You stubborn, stubborn smartass.”
“What can I say? I learned from the stubbornest smartass I know!” She laughed against his chest.
They stood up and took the opportunity to look at their surroundings for the first time. The Upside Down was– well it was just as bad as Will and Nancy had described it from their time there: dark and disgusting and terrifying. They were in the center of what was apparently the Upside Down version of lover’s lake, dry and overrun with strange vines that consumed everything. The sky was dark blue and red lightning flashed from within some clouds, casting an ominous red glow through them. The air was chilly and heavy with dust like particles. The vines and the air at least, were similar to the tunnels under the pumpkin patch that the demodogs had dug but to see it on such a grander scale was nerve-wracking. They were in the hell-like not-Hawkins full of dangerous monsters and Steve was overwhelmed with all of the possible dangers to himself and his girlfriend in the landscape around them.
“Let’s get the fuck back to the gate.” he said and she nodded, taking her hand and heading towards it.
They had only made it a few steps when they froze at a horrifying noise. It was not the menacing thunder accompanying the red lightning but some kind of creature snarling in the distance. They turned to see a small shape come towards them from far above the forest and the closest thing Steve could compare it to was a very large bat with a very long tail. It cried out again as it approached and they began to back up, Steve keeping her behind him. If this creature was gonna attack, it was going to have to get through him to get to her. Suddenly, another shriek rang through the air and Steve turned to see that there was another creature approaching on the other side. Everywhere he turned, there was another bat blocking their path and closing them in on all sides. They were surrounded and Steve was struck with the realization that he couldn’t shield her from all of them.
He looked around and saw that within the large vine patch they had landed in was a boat, barely visible. He ran to it, pulling her along with him and grabbed the first thing he could see: an oar. He pulled it out just in time as the first of the bats swooped down to attack, only to be smacked away by his oar. It was on the ground for only a moment before it was launching back up into the air. He swung at another and heard her doing the same but couldn’t land a blow on them as they advanced too quickly, barely able to doge out of the way. He took another large swing when he heard her cry out in surprise and turned to see a bat had wrapped its tail around her waist tightly, her oar dropping to the ground in surprise. She pushed against it but the bat simply yanked her backwards, sending her hard onto the ground several feet away from him as she screamed.
“No!” he yelled and moved to follow when another bat swooped in and clasped onto his shoulder with such force that it drove him to the ground, his oar flying somewhere out of reach.
Then in an instant, the bat had wrapped its tail around his neck and was choking him as it tried to fly further away. He struggled to breath, one hand trying to pull it off of his neck and the other trying to hit out at the creature but it was just out of reach, flapping violently and making squealing noises. A sharp pain radiated from his right side and he found that another bat had landed on his stomach, sinking its sharp talons and teeth into him. He tried to yank at the tail around his neck again but it did nothing, just continuing to squeeze the air from his throat. A third bat joined the attack and landed on his left side, tearing and biting into him wildly like the other. His hands were alternating between trying to free his neck to breathe and swatting at the bats on his stomach, only keeping them away for a few seconds before they’d return to nibbling on him.
The bat choking him began to pull harder and both his hands went to try and claw it off because he could no longer breathe, not even for a moment as he had before. The bats on his stomach resumed their feasts. He heard his girlfriend scream out and his head turned as much as possible to her direction. He could see her lying on her stomach, her head being pulled up and back by a bat’s tail wrapped around her neck as two or three more sat on her back tearing into her flesh. One hand clutched at the tail frantically, trying to pull it off as the other reached out towards him, her eyes pleading with him for help as she gasped for air.
She was able to pull the tail off of her neck enough to scream out, sounding almost like a dying animal, high-pitched and pained, forming no words. It was torture, being held down and unable to help her as she screamed, watching her face turn red as she ran out of air, her hand still outstretched as if she could use it to get to him. Seeing her like that felt much more painful than anything the bats were doing to him. He was able to manage a few screams by prying the tail loose but only for a moment at a time and his vision was starting to go dark, her features blurring.
No, no, no, he thought. He couldn’t die, not before getting to her. She needed him and he couldn’t let them keep him from her. He had to do something, anything, but couldn’t and it was killing him. So close to her, yet unable to get to her. Just before his vision went black, something smacked one of the bats from his stomach. It skidded along the ground and whimpered pathetically before taking flight in the other direction. He turned his head and could barely make out someone standing above him, his discarded oar in hand.
“Hey there.” he heard Nancy say before the other bat was knocked away too.
A second figure came from behind Nancy and he could hear Nancy and Robin yelling at each other as they tried to kill the one choking him, but the tail wasn’t budging despite taking hit after hit. Nancy was attacked from behind by a bat and Robin went to try and rip it off of her, leaving Steve back to struggle against the bat alone. He heard another cry from his girlfriend’s direction and bit down on the tail, hard. It was disgusting and the bat’s dark blood was flooding his mouth but he had bit it deep enough that the bat released him and tried to fly away. He grabbed it before the last of it’s tail slipped from his neck and pulled it towards him, struggling with it. The bat’s strength faltered, just for a moment, but it was all he needed to yank it backwards and swing it up around his head to the ground. It kept flapping, trying to escape his grasp so he swung it down onto the ground again.
Again and again he hit it but it refused to die until one final hit, after what felt like ages, left it on the ground dazed long enough for him to step his foot down on it. He yanked the tail as his foot kept it down, pulling the bottom half from the top half. He spit the blood out of his mouth and panted as he turned around trying to find his bearings. Nancy and Robin had one on the ground and seemed to be close to killing it but they seemed to have it under control so he spun around again to find her. He saw her, a little ways out from the group, still struggling as she had before while Eddie used an oar to swat bats off of her back. He had killed at least two but there was still one left, determined to return to her each time it was swatted away as the tail of another bat was still pulling her head up and back.
Steve’s legs were running towards her before his brain could tell them to. Eddie had gotten the last one off her back but was still smacking at it on the ground beside her, his oar splintering apart as he was finally able to kill it. Steve reached them and clutched the bat choking her in his hand, squeezing it tightly as he tried to keep his grip on it. It released her from it’s tail but was crushed by his fist before it could try to hit him with it. The bat’s body snapped with a crunching sound and he let it’s flimsy corpse fall to the ground. Within an instant, he was on his knees beside her, taking in the gorey scene before him.
The bats had shredded through the back of her shirt completely, only stringy bits remaining. Her entire back was one large wound, almost no unharmed skin left between all the deep and long jagged claw marks stretching from her shoulders to her waist. Entire chunks of her flesh were missing, having been bitten or scratched off, leaving only bloody craters, and what felt like an impossible amount of blood was seeping from her wounds. Without the tail to hold it up, her head had dropped onto the vine in front of her. The worst part was that she was still screaming out in pain, her body shaking with her sobs as her hands ripped into the vine with white knuckles.
“Ste- Steve!” he heard her gasp out from between sobs, turning her tear-stained face as far to the side as she could. “Is Steve okay?”
His heart stopped at that for a second, that despite her condition, the first thing she was asking was if he was alright or not. He quickly slipped one hand under her cheek, supporting her as she tried to look at him without moving her back, his other hand stroking the cheek facing up at him, gently pushing her hair back and wiping her tears.
“I’m okay. I’m okay.” he assured her quickly. “They took a fair bit of flesh but I’m alright.”
He tried to turn her over onto her side but he had barely placed his hands on her shoulder and side when she began screaming at him to stop.
“I can’t move Steve- it’s too painful! Each move- each breath- it’s like- I can’t- I can’t- I” she began, each word carrying her nearer to hysteria, her already heavy breathing picking up quickly.
“Hey, shh. Shh, it’s okay.” he cut her off, trying to calm her down before she started hyperventilating, his hands returning to her face. “It’s okay. I’m gonna get you out of here and we’re gonna be okay.”
He could vaguely hear Eddie cursing while Nancy and Robin discussed something about a hospital and rabies, but he didn’t care. He kept his focus on her, on measuring her wheezing breaths and stroking her hair as her muscles twitched involuntarily from the pain. Her eyes were squeezed shut, tears still streaming out of them as she made small whimpering noises, her face contorted into a grimace. He felt helpless, he couldn’t touch her without hurting her. He kept soothing her and thought about how they could get her back to the gate.
Just carrying her in his arms would jostle her around too much and since every move hurt her, he’d need to get her there as smoothly as possible. It didn’t help that his sides felt like they were burning, blood still slowly leaking from the bite marks. Walking would be hard, let alone carrying her. He remembered the boat and thought there might be something in there—fabric, a net, a plank of wood—anything they could use as a makeshift stretcher. Of course, swimming up to the surface with her, back to shore, and through the woods to the nearest house for help would still be difficult but at least with a stretcher, they could keep her laying on her stomach and keeping her back as straight as possible. He raised his head to tell someone to check the boat when a bat’s cry sounded out.
They all turned their heads to see a group of bats landing on the vines surrounding the gate, chittering angrily in their direction.
“There’s not that many. We can take ‘em.” Steve said, not completely convinced by what he was saying. “Right?”
The only reply he received was an echoing cry of a swarm of dozens of bats, approaching from afar. The red lightning crackled in the clouds behind them and doused them all in a harsh red light as they grew ever nearer.
“You were saying?” Nancy asked and Steve looked down at his girlfriend, trying to figure out how to keep her safe in such a terrifying situation.
“Fuck!” Eddie cried out at the sight of them.
“The woods! Come on!” Nancy cried, pointing at the trees closest to them. “It’s our only option!”
“I am so fucking sorry about this baby.” Steve said quickly to his girlfriend before scooping her off the ground and hauling her up against his chest, one arm supporting her shoulder as far from the scratches as was possible, the other arm hooked around her legs before running towards the forest.
She screamed loudly, sounding almost identical to her cries while the bats were attacking her. Her arms flew around his neck and clutched him so hard he knew there would be nail marks later, but he didn’t care. If clawing into him made her feel even a sliver better than he would let her tear every inch of him. She could bite chunks, scratch lines and tear out chunks of his hair if she needed to, he cared nothing about his pain, only relieving hers. To him, there was nothing in the world more important than her. Her head was buried in his neck, her pained cries at each jerky movement muffled into his skin. He felt awful that he was causing her so much pain but it was the only thing he could do to get her away from the bats. He could feel her blood on his arms, the feeling of the warm blood escaping her body making him hold her to him even closer, as if he could somehow will it back into her body. He ran, ignoring the excruciating pain radiating from his sides, his bare feet slapping painfully against the ground with each stride. His body seemed to be running on pure instinct, some primal urge allowing him to ignore the pain and push his body past its limits.
Despite his pain and her weight he was still able to keep up with the others as they reached the treeline and kept running. Her screams were getting quieter and soon he couldn’t hear them anymore. Her nails clawing into his back suddenly disappeared, her whole body going limp. He was going to stop and check on her but he felt her chest still heaving against his, her breath on his neck ensuring him that she was still alive. They raced past decrepit trees and over tangles of vines, Steve focused only on the feeling of her breathing and keeping his eyes firmly on the person in front of them, mirroring their moves as they dodged obstacles, racing to stay ahead of the bats. But her breath hitched and distracted him, causing him to miss a vine on the ground that snared his foot and sent them crashing to the ground.
He looked down at her, checking her breathing and finding that it was still steady.
“Harrington, let me carry her.” Eddie said and Steve couldn’t even pant out an answer before Eddie had picked her up and Steve found his arms being draped around Nancy and Robin’s shoulders.
They kept running and Steve kept his eyes on her limp form in Eddie’s arms, the red lightning making the trees cast eerie shadows on her face with each flash. Her eyes were closed and she almost looked peaceful as she bobbed lightly with each of Eddie’s steps, only the the harsh red line around her throat betraying that she was not just sleeping. He was grateful that Eddie was helping her but each jerky movement stabbed at his heart. He wanted her to wake up, to be back in his arms, to be safe, but that wasn’t possible so he settled for knowing that she was safer in Eddie’s arms than his at the moment. Steve stumbled a few times, his adrenaline wearing off as they continued running, but Robin and Nancy kept him upright and plowing forwards. He could hear the swarm getting ever closer behind them.
Finally they reached the upside-down version of skull rock, practically throwing themselves under the rock, the first of the bats swooping above them. Steve collapsed under the rock, still trying to push his body towards her as Eddie placed her down as gently as he could. She was on her side, her head lying in Robin's lap while Eddie squatted next to them. Nancy had to hold Steve down and after a few whispered orders to be quiet and stop moving, he reluctantly stopped trying to get to his girlfriend. They sat there crouching and panting for several minutes as the endless stream of bats continued overhead and Steve watched her breathing again, ignoring the ominous thunder and screeches from above.
It felt like ages until the screeching and the sound of wings faded off into the distance and when they did, Robin tentatively poked her head out for a peek.
“That was close.” she sighed.
“Yeah, too close.” Eddie added.
Steve pushed himself up with a pained groan but didn’t make it a single step before tumbling back on to the wall, trying to hold himself up as his head spun. “Oh sh… shit.”
“Steve? Jesus…” Nancy said as she looked at his stomach which was in much worse shape than it had been before.
“I’m fine. I’m fine.” he added, wincing.
“No, you’re not fine. You’re losing blood, you need to let me bandage your stomach.” she insisted and Steve tried pushing past her but she only pushed him back harder, almost shoving him over due to his weakness. “She’s not actively bleeding right now, you are. She’s unconscious and she won’t know if you’re not at her side for a minute or two.”
“I’ll know.” Steve said and Nancy shook her head, pointing at him angrily.
“Steven Richard Harrington, so help me god if you don’t let me help you…” she scolded. “You’re no good to her if you’re bleeding out or dead. Let me help you and then we can focus on her.”
She was right and he knew it. As infuriating as it was, his girlfriend was alright for the moment and he wasn’t. If he didn’t let Nancy patch him up, he might bleed to death before she ever even woke up. He nodded reluctantly, letting Nancy help him ease back down to the ground to sit. His heart was pounding in his ears, feeling each beat in his head as Nancy ripped a strip off of her skirt. He could vaguely make out Robin telling him that he probably didn’t have rabies but that if he started feeling symptoms like wanting to punch her then he should let her know.
“I kinda want to punch you.” he rasped out through heavy breaths, slightly annoyed with his best friend but really more grateful that she was trying to help, in her own roundabout Robin way.
She laughed and noted that still having a sense of humor was a good sign. He groaned painfully when Nancy wrapped the cloth around his torso but kept himself as still as he could so she could be done quicker.
“Leave some for Y/N, she’s gonna need them.” Steve grunted out but Robin told him they could use her button-up shirt because she had a shirt underneath.
Eddie helped her rip it up into appropriate sized strips while Nancy finished patching up Steve. He thanked her and then moved to his girlfriend, dropping down to the ground beside her.
“Wait, we need to figure out how to do this. I have to be able to wrap it all the way around her body so she can’t be lying down.” Nancy said, taking the bandages from Eddie and Robin.
Steve thought for a moment before pulling her into his arms and leaning back against the rock wall. He very carefully seated her in his lap so that her chest was leaning against his chest, leaving her back facing out towards Nancy. He carefully put one arm under her armpit and around to let his hand cradle the back of her head on his shoulder. His other hand stayed on her waist and he made sure he wasn’t covering any of her wounds. There was a bit of space between her chest and his so Nancy could wrap the bandages around her easily.
Her tattered shirt was barely hanging on around the arms and the front, the back completely gone and Nancy put the bandages over it so the shirt was held better onto her. She began wrapping each part of her back, starting from the bottom. As she worked, Steve focused on matching her breathing and thought about how he had failed her. She was his everything and from the moment they had been thrown into the weird adventures, he had promised himself he wasn’t going to let her get hurt, no matter what. He threw himself in front of her and the kids countless times so he could shield them from everything.
But he had fucked up and she had almost died—fuck, she still could die. He couldn’t afford any more mistakes—she couldn’t afford any more mistakes. If she died, he was going to lose his goddamn mind more than he already had when she first got hurt. He was going to keep her safe and get her back to the real world even if it cost him his life. He didn’t care if he had to fist fight Vecna and the Mind Flayer at the same time, she was going to be okay.
Steve was so deep in thought that he almost didn’t notice when she began to stir in his arms. She shifted and whined, her body riding that edge between being asleep and awake. Nancy glanced at Steve nervously, only halfway through the bandaging. Her pained noises slowly got louder as her mind woke up until she finally raised her head from off of his shoulder, groaning lowly.
“Steve?” she asked, voice broken and eyes wide with confusion as she looked up at him.
“Hey baby, we’re just trying to bandage you up, alright?” he assured her, his hand moving from the back of her head to caress her cheek.
“It hurts… fuck, it hurts.” she said with a grimace as Nancy tightened another bandage on her back.
“I know, babe. We’re gonna get you patched up and we’re gonna get the fuck out of here, okay?” Steve told her as he watched her eyes water up with more pain as each second passed.
“It’s burning Steve, my back is on fire…” she said, trying to contain her tears but failing. “It won’t stop, why won’t it stop?”
“Shh, shh, shh, babe. Nancy’s almost done, it’ll feel better when it’s wrapped. I’m so sorry, just a bit longer.” he replied and she buried her head back into his neck, sobbing quietly as he tried to keep her as still as possible, stroking her hair to comfort her.
“Almost done.” Nancy assured them as she ripped the cowl neckline off her shirt, having run out of bandages from Robin’s shirt.
Steve stroked her hair and mumbled comforting words in her ear as Nancy kept working, each one of her pained whimpers stabbing directly into his heart.
“It hurts. Make it stop, please.” she kept whispering, over and over again until the phrases were beginning to blend together into one long mumble. Nancy finally finished wrapping her entire back and stepped back so Steve could help her sit up on his lap. When she shifted ever so slightly, she bit down on her hand to keep from screaming and Steve knew he had to do something.
“Does anyone have anything for the pain?” he asked the group, hoping that one of the girls had something they used during their times of the month, but they shook their heads.
“I’ve got something…” Eddie said quietly. “But it’s pretty strong. She’ll be knocked out—heavy—for a few hours and when she wakes up the pain will be mostly relieved for a few hours more, although she’ll be pretty high the whole time.”
“Is that the only option?” Robin asked. “Sedating her?”
“I mean I have a pre-rolled joint or two but I don’t know if it’ll help with this much pain and it won’t last nearly as long.” Eddie replied.
“Give me the drugs.” Y/N said suddenly, carefully raising her head from Steve’s shoulder and turning to talk to Eddie, wincing and whimpering at every move.
“This shit can be dangerous and addictive as hell, I only have it because I sell it to a war vet who uses it for pain management.” Eddie cautioned.
“I don’t care. Give it to me.” she said, her voice strong and sure even as her muscles spasmed in pain in his arms.
“Babe-” Steve began but she shook her head.
“We’ll need to be quiet here so we don’t attract monsters, I can’t do that if I’m trying not to scream every time I move. If I’m knocked out, I’m silent and I can be thrown over someone’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.” she told him firmly. “Either you sedate me or you leave me here and come back with help later.”
“That’s not fucking happening.” Steve growled.
“Then I need to take the drugs, Steve.” she said, looking up at him and leaning forward to rest her forehead on his, the tip of her nose teasing his as she looked him deep in the eyes. “You know I’m right, babe.”
“You are.” Steve admitted with a sigh. “Which only makes it more frustrating. And you’re not getting carried like a sack of potatoes, you’re precious cargo.”
“I love you, Steve.” she said, reaching up to cup his face in her hands, a tear slipping from her eye. She didn’t know whether it was from exhaustion, pain, fear, or sadness but she still smiled weakly at him anyways. “I’m so sorry it has to be like this.”
“I love you so much. Seeing you in pain feels worse than any actual pain I’ve ever felt. These bites feel like nothing compared to how I felt when I heard you screaming and couldn’t help. If I have to see you get hurt like that again, I’m going to lose my fucking mind. Let me protect you while you’re asleep, I won’t fail you again.” He replied.
“Steve, you didn’t fail-” she began but he cut her off.
“I did and I’m so sorry and I’m gonna spend every second from now on trying to make it up to you.” he said, his gaze intense and she leaned forwards to kiss him, a wordless reassurance of her love and forgiveness.
When they pulled apart, Eddie moved next to them and kneeled down. He had a small metal tin in his hand and they watched as he crushed a pill into a fine powder on the lid.
“It works fastest if you snort it.” he said and she nodded.
It took some instructions from Eddie on how to properly snort drugs but soon she had sniffed up all the powder. Almost immediately, she felt it hit. A wave of exhaustion hit her and suddenly it was almost impossible to keep her eyes open. She looked up at Steve’s worried face and she heard him whisper “Let me protect you, babe…” as he held her close and the world went dark.
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“I think she’s waking up!” A voice called in the darkness and she forced herself to open her eyes, finding herself face-to-face with an incredibly close Dustin hovering over her.
“Wha-” She said and Dustin turned his head to yell again. “Yeah she’s definitely awake!”
A hand pushed Dustin’s face to the side and she saw Steve take his place at her side. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him and she reached out for him, his hand taking hold of hers as the other brushed her hair out of her face. She was lying on a couch, surprisingly soft and comfortable and when she looked around she found herself in Eddie’s trailer. It wasn’t the Upside Down version of his trailer but the real world one and she looked to Steve in confusion and disbelief.
“We’re back in the real world, baby. We’re okay.” he assured her with a genuine smile and she began to cry from happiness.
“You protected me…” she said and he nodded as she raised an arm to stroke the side of his face.
“We’re gonna be okay.” he said firmly, as much for himself as for her.
A sliver of light poking through the curtains of a nearby window caught her attention.
“It’s morning… that means according to our deal, it’s my turn to protect you.” she joked and Steve shook his head, unable to stop himself from smiling down at her.
“I’d like to renegotiate the terms of the deal.” he replied and she laughed softly before pulling him down to kiss her.
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takasgf · 2 years
Text
Dance lesson
its 6 am and im writing silly stories !!!!!! warning this happens in a killing game universe; obviously nothing bad happens but the athmosphere is a bit creepier than usual O_o also there's a slight reference to the 1st chapter victims in the beginning paragraph. otherwise, its just the silly people being very sweet and dumb
  Kiyotaka and Frogeru were walking through the hallways. After being forced into a situation as stressful as a "killing game" can be, getting to know every part of your surroundings is key to survival. Dusty empty classrooms wouldn't have been such an eerie sight if it wasn't for the overwhelming feeling of terror that trapped the students into their own thoughts. The air was almost suffocating. Every particle of dust carried a weight comparable to a small baseball ball. No one had the power to look at a baseball ball with the same eyes ever again however. 
  Each step they took scared them into thinking they might just sink into the floor if they weren't careful. Luckly, the other would have been there to catch their friend, if that ever happened. Their friendship is what kept them strong. If they were truly on their own, all this would have been so much harder to confront. Despite meeting not so long ago, the two felt a strong connection from the moment they introduced themselves. And so, they decided to stick together. Even now, neither realized they've been holding hands for the past few minutes as they were exploring the school. It was more of a subconscious need to protect each other from danger. 
- Hey, let's go there! Seems interesting enough. 
  Frogeru pointed towards a room not so far away from them. At first glance, you couldn't have differentiated it from the other classrooms. Upon entering, that was the case for the most part. 
- What's this thing? Is it supposed to be a music player or something? Frogeru sprinted towards the device and gently shook it, maybe expecting a snack to fall out of it, like in a vending machine. 
- I believe so. Perhaps they used to host school events here... Hey! Don't shake it like that! The annoyance in Taka's voice was enough to convince Frogeru to let go of the music player. 
- Meh. It's pretty dusty anyway. I saw it shining through the window and thought it might be cool.
- Running around after shiny things is not the best thing to do right now. Personally, I don't think it's a good thing to do in general! Be focused, Frogeru. We must be very mindful of our actions if we don't want any strange device exploding in our faces! 
- Fair enough. Huh! Dude, wait! There's a cassette in here! Should I play it? I'm gonna play it. 
- No! What did I just say?! Please, just leave it be! 
  Frogeru's curiosity couldn't wait. She pressed the play button impatiently. A few mechanical sounds exited the speakers. Kiyotaka sat protectively in front of Frogeru, expecting something terrible to happen in the next seconds. 
  A soft, monotone tune started to play. No explosions, no evil teddy bears, no traps. Just an old cassette, trying its best to bring the classroom back to life with its sounds. Despite the damage, the song kept going. 
- See? Calm down, man. Just a plain old music player. That song sucks so bad… Frog gave a slightly frightened Taka a reassuring pat on the shoulder. 
- True, definitely not worth the reaction. I apologize. Still, isn't it quite suspicious? Can we be sure this isn't a trap? 
- Well, we aren't dead yet, so I guess it's not. Dang, this song is really bad. You were right not to start playing it. It reminds me of elevator music. I don't think you could dance on this even if you wanted to, haha! 
- It seems fit for slower kinds of dances. The kinds that test one's elegance and class, perhaps. It's not very remarkable. We should turn it off and quit wasting time here! There's plenty of rooms to look through. 
- Wait, wait, wait! Where's the rush, my friend? We're stuck here. We can listen to this dumb song all day if we wanted to. See, how it tickles our ears with its stupidity? Haha!
- Where are you going with this? Are we leaving or not? Just like you said, there is absolutely no reason to stay here and listen. 
- That's why I want to dance instead. You can't just mention it and not elaborate on that! I think we learned one of those fancy dances in kindergarten. I remember I kept getting paired with dumb kids and I would step on their feet on purpose. Great times, am I right? I am! 
- You need two people for a slow dance. Currently I am your only option, but I thoroughly refuse to dance in these serious circumstances. Taka crossed his arms and looked directly at Frogeru. 
- Come on, I'm not going to step on your feet, I promise! I think you are one of the people that needs to have a bit of fun the most around here. Look at you, all stressed and worried! It makes me so sad just to think what's going on inside your head. 
- Frogeru, now is not the time to have fun. Ask me again when we get out of here and I'll think about it. Maybe I'll even get some practice until then. 
- Practice..? Oh! You don't know how to dance! That's why you keep refusing me! Haha, don't worry, dude. I don't know what I'm doing either. I just want to see you smile once. 
- I appreciate your concerns! But I don't dance. Not now. It's not the right time. 
- When will be the right time? What if we get hurt? What if we don't escape? 
- …
- W-What if we don't get to dance together ever again? Please, Ishi. Dance with me… Please.
  The energy in Frog's tone slowly faded as she spoke. Her stuttering voice and her trembling eyes and mouth made Taka raise his arm and place it on his heart. It was hurting. 
- I thought…I thought you didn't like the song… 
- It really doesn't matter what song it is, does it? 
- …It doesn't. Take my hand. 
 The light came back in Frogeru's sparkly eyes. Once they held hands again, even Taka felt more calm than before. His friend's soft smile assured him that they'll be okay. 
- Um, may I have some directions first? I wouldn't want to step on your feet either. 
- Yeah, sure! You need to place your other hand on my back, and I'll place mine on yours! It's more fancy than just holding hands, heh. 
- Ah! I think so! You're the expert here. 
 Kiyotaka listened to Frogeru's explanations and tried his best to follow along. The two would move around the room in a slow spinning and walking motion, as the terrible song kept playing in the background. 
- Are you okay? You look kinda red..? Stupid dust! Keep getting in my friend's face and I'll show you! No, but seriously, are you okay?
  Being so close to his best friend colored Kiyotaka's face bright red. He was so focused on trying his best to dance correctly he didn't even notice how silly he looked.  
- I-I'm fine! Yes, dust, it's everywhere! Ha-ha! 
- You look like a tomato…You are weird. I like that you are weird; you're just like me. I'm glad that we became friends! 
  The previous statement almost had Taka lose all his balance. He was incredibly glad as well. 
- Careful!! It's so awesome that you accepted to dance with me, but please don't get yourself hurt because of it! 
- I'm alright! I trust you, Frogeru. I don't think I could get hurt with you here to catch me. 
  The room was filled with giggles, awkward dance moves and a terrible song. For just a few minutes, the two students could take a break from the terror that awaited them once they left the classroom. There is no certainty whether they'll return there to dance once again, so it's better to cherish the moment while it lasts. Outside the classroom, a spiky brown haired boy, that had made the scandalous fashion choice to wear a blazer over his hoodie, is observing the situation through a window. 
- At least they're having fun…!
OKKK thank you SO MUCH for reading!!! I like this a lot more, I think it's my best short story so far :] thank you so much for all your support!!! Im a bit paranoid I might have accidentally copied the plot from someone else without realising, i hope it's just an irrational fear😭 ive had this idea for quite a while, so im happy i finally wrote about it !!!
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myangelscrimson · 2 years
Text
Yandere Alphabet: Cutthroat
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I had the overwhelming urge to do this for Cutthroat. Another writer did this for him here. Mine is not going to be tagged or anything, simply because I did this for my own enjoyment.
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Affection: How does he show his angel his love?
He can tend to be overbearing and suffocating, quite literally. He shows his affection in many forms, although the constant need to have his hands on you in one way or another is more of a default setting with you. Always being close is Cutthroat's way of saying he likes you in particular, so he feels the need to be at least within reach of you. If he cannot see your halo within the corners of his eyes; if he can't see you—it's sure to send him in a chase. Whether it takes him a day or a year, he will find you because he needs you just that much.
He also doesn't shy away from using sugar sweet words either. He makes sure you know exactly how pretty, magnificent, or beautiful he thinks you are. But don't take this as a manipulation tactic or anything....he's just completely enamoured by the sight of you under that bright red halo~
Cutthroat's most special way of showing his affection though, is through gifting you things. He loves your approval more than anything, but even if you don't show it to him.... it's not something he takes permanent note of. He'll still gift you the gorgeous sight of loose and limp bodies right before he k̵̦̝̞̱̦͋̋͐̀͑̈i̴̞͙͊̐͆ļ̵̡̭͖̭̖̬͜͝l̶̨̦̲͕͓̭͉̱͛̄̽̎͋͊s̵̨̩̺͎̬̈́̾͂͘͘ͅyou. It's the least he can do for his magnificent angel.
Blood: How messy is he willing to get?
As messy as he has to get and a little bit more. Childish and playful he seems, but Cutthroat does not play around when it comes to his angels life. He kills for fun, there is no reason why he shouldn't kill anyone who threatens to take you from him. There's also no reason not to kill anyone in his way. He doesn't read too into the motives of those that approach his angel, however if they try anything, Cutthroat's never far behind. The sight of blood is perfect, but it's even better when they underestimate the lengths he'd go to just to ensure you stay his. Blood will surely be spilt, competitors, his, and yours.
Cruelty: What would he do to his angel if kidnapped? Would he mock them?
Surely you'd look just wonderful in an antique human sized dove's cage. Or perhaps locked away in the bathroom so he can easily admire you in his favorite place whenever he wishes? He'd treat you like his most prized possession, a shiny new toy that absolutely no one else can play with. A spectacle, almost. Once he has you locked away, it's hard to get him to leave you be. Even if he's just in his own little world next to your cage. It would be a pity to mock someone as precious to him as his angel though, so any interactions you have with him aren't likely to make you feel like a fool. More like someone worthy of being worshipped.
Dearest: Is he intense? What sort of boundaries would he cross?
He is more than intense and will likely cross boundaries you didn't even know you had until he crossed them. He wasn't supposed to follow you to the bathroom, so why's he sitting outside the door right now? It's only been 3 minutes...
He didn't take that article of clothing just because it reminded him of you, did he? How peculiar...
He's interrupting your conversation because he wants to talk to you and doesn't acknowledge the other person is there...? Oh, and he's killed them?
What?! Why can't he cling to your waist in front of a huge crowd of people who think you're just another overly affectionate couple!?
Why can't he just barge into the room while you're changing?! What if someone kills you!? And worse, what if it's not him!?
Why can't he kill the person who stepped on his angels shoes in line?!
Exposed: How much is he willing to show his angel of his true nature?
He hides nothing because he has nothing to hide...! You're his angel after all, but even with others looking, there's no shame in anything he does. In fact, it's almost better when you're available to see his true nature shine through. It means he'll have an easier time getting to you when it's time for the real show to begin~!
Fight: How would he feel if his angel fought back?
He'd sound a little discouraged, but don't let that fool you because his actions certainly don't read as someone who is discouraged. It just means that he's going to try harder to show his affection. He'll kill more if he has to... perhaps that'll stop his angel's fussing? You're fighting back because you're not receiving enough of his time, is that right...? It absolutely has to be..! He's likely to forget you ever fought back at all though... It's easily ignored when he doesn't truly care how you feel. You're his, angry about it or not.
Game: Does he treat this as a game? Enjoying seeing his angel run and be scared?
Oh, well isn't that what makes it all the more fun? It's not as fun when he's in chase mode....but the end pay off is almost ecstasy. He'd prefer that you didn't run more often than not, but if you do, there's no point in not turning it into a game!
It's important to keep in mind that any feelings towards you are not a game though. His feelings are real, or else he'd have no reason to be possessive.
Hell: What would be his angel’s worst experience with him?
Being killed could of course be one of the worst things his angel may experience, but besides that, it'd be the lead up to such a moment. The uncomfortable feeling that something is going to go wrong. You don't know when. You don't know how. But you know that something isn't right with the red ring or infatuated look in his eyes.
Ideals: What kind of future does he imagine for himself and his angel?
He imagines his angel slowly losing the color to their skin and the oxygen in their lungs all thanks to his touch. Well, he's actually more worried about the red halo that'll swirl around him as you're slowly losing your life. The longer it takes for you to die, the longer the halo lasts. He wants to be as close to you as possible—to feel the warmth of your halo flutter in his overexcited heart. What better way to do that than to kill you with just his bare hands? You're officially his once he does.
Jealous: When he gets jealous, how does he react?
It'll slightly depend on who he's jealous of. Simply killing them is the perfect remedy...unless of course it's possible to be jealous of the dead. He's more possessive rather than jealous though, so he doesn't often get too jealous because of that. What's his is his, but feeling like your time is being wasted by someone that's not him will likely result in the other person's murder. Right then and there too. He doesn't wait for you to leave....he doesn't wait for anyone to leave for that matter. One slice and oops...~ they're dead. Jealousy gone now for the excitement of red spilling.
Kill: How many does he kill? And who?
Everyone, everything, anyone, and that includes you. It may even include himself, if it ever came down to that.
Love letters: How would he go about courting and going after his angel?
Courting? What's that? Aren't you already his? He gets what he wants when he wants it, and that means you. He'll chase you, if that's what you want. But you're his.
Mask: Does he act differently around his angel compared to everyone else?
Yes. No. Maybe so..? He does act differently around you in terms of how affectionate he is, but he's not wearing a mask. Oh, he just can't! Everyone is able to see the way he's acting towards you is unbearably embarrassing to watch... He pays little mind to anyone else around him until it serves his interest....and it seems you serve his interest quite well.
Naughty: Punishments. How does he go about it with his angel?
Oh, come on! He's not punishing you. It's fun! Right?! He doesn't like the word punishment, so go on. Tell him how much you love it when he makes you bleed.... pretend you love it when he falls down the hole of his own hysteria. The markings on your skin are all for him, and he'll let you know that only he's allowed to spill your blood. Punishments that are to the extreme are the ones he'll accidentally lose all control. One drop of blood will become a pool, and by the end of it you're dead. Oh, but he'll forgive you, even if it wasn't necessarily you that he was upset at. Just what you did. Your halo made up for it though~! Your pretty blood did too....it was likely a mistake to kill you this soon...but it did feel so very good.
Another punishment tactic he uses is locking you up or tying you down. It's hard to run when you're physically unable to, and while there, he might as well soak up the warmth of your presence. It's not really a punishment though....just a result of you escaping too often for his own pleasure. He'll sleep even better knowing you're not going to be killed by anyone other than him while you're tied down. If anything, this is more of a punishment for the poor unfortunate souls who can't have you.
Some of his other punishments may not seem like anything of the sort. He notices that your mean words become kind when you're scared.... Scared that he's hurt in some way. He'll make himself bleed too. All for you~ Don't take it as a punishment though. It's more like a reward. It certainly takes an emotional toll on you, but his blood is so pretty, how can his angel bear to look away?
Oppression: How many rights would he take from his angel?
It may seem like you'll get to keep your rights. However in the end, you'll slowly realize that you never really had any at all. He's not intentionally stripping you of anything maliciously....but your friends will end up dead if they jabber on for too long. He's not opposed to completely locking you away, and even if he doesn't do that, he'll follow you everywhere. Your life belongs to him, there are no exceptions. He's doing everything to ensure there are no exceptions too.
Patience: How much will he tolerate with his angel before enough is enough?
His tolerance varies in the ways you fight back or show defiance. It runs pretty high in terms of your general uncomfortable demeanor around him. Pushing him away, cruel words....they don't bother him too terribly. He may use them to better suit your needs if it aligns with what he already wanted to do. He barely takes signs of hatred to heart because he doesn't understand the intensity that comes with the word.
If you want him to lose patience with you immediately however, threaten to take your own life. Enough is enough the moment you do so and everything is a lot less light-hearted if he thinks you might be serious.
Quit: If his angel somehow leaves in any way, would he be able to move on?
You are not leaving. You do not have an option to do so. There is no escape from someone like Cutthroat, he'll find you again no matter what it takes. Luckily for him, the halo above your head is a clear indicator to where you are...and it's not like it's disappearing anytime soon. In fact...it only really ever seems to get bigger...
Regret: Would he feel guilty about doing this to his angel? Would he let them go?
Oh, he feels guilty. Really, really guilty....just kidding~! He feels no guilt at all, but he'll feign it if you do what he wants. He's capable of getting what he wants most times anyhow, so he's not great at lying to you about much. That doesn't stop him from trying though. He's also not letting you go—
Stigma: What brought on this aspect of him?
A shame, really. Selfishness, lack of self control....oh, and the fact that he can't help the halo above your head. He's not matured into his emotions, and so he lets them overwhelm him like a greedy child. It's the way he's been born into the world that allows him to see love as so black and white....well, red. He doesn't seem to understand what love truly is because of this either...so this is just his way of showing it.
Tears: How does he feel about his angel crying or ignoring him?
Tears are strange to him coming from you, yet it's quite easy for him to ignore them...or even lick them off your skin while completely oblivious to your emotional state. He may get excited if you start to cry though...that's what some of his other victims do and it's quite amusing to watch. Oh, so people tend to cry when they're upset at something...? He might try to cheer you up then...blood cheers him up the most! So does being around you. Maybe you're cheered up the same way?
As for ignoring.... depends. Are you making it obvious you're ignoring him? If so, he'll get rather whiny or put himself in your way so that you have no choice but to acknowledge him. He may also forget you're ignoring him, only to be confused that you still are. Then possibly irritated...or very, very sad.... although he knows just how to get your attention...!
Unique: Would he do anything different from the typical yandere?
It's not that he's necessarily doing anything, but he is happy dying in the end as well if it also means you've died. At the hands of him of course...
Something unique to mention is the underlying innocence in everything he does. It is all childishly selfish, sinister seeming too, but this is the only way he truly knows love to be. There is less malicious or vengeful intent behind what he does than you may think.
Vice: What would his angel need to take advantage of in order to manipulate him?
My favorite! His devotion is so strong that he'll harm himself just to kill anyone who tries to take you before he can. Put yourself in a dangerous situation on purpose. He'll come to your rescue. Of course, it might be at the price of his life if you do it often enough....but that means you're free!
His burning desire is also quite strong. His impulsive decisions and lack of thought in the middle of a crazed frenzy is quite easy to manipulate in your favor. If he's not thinking twice about something and doing just about anything to reach his target... you'll get away with playing along until you decide you don't want to anymore.
Wit’s end: Would he ever hurt his angel?
He hurts you, but he only does it with love...and because he's selfish. He always knows just how to cheer himself up. Any blood spilt is pretty blood, especially yours.
Xenophobia: How would he feel if his angel talked with/visited someone he didn’t know?
It's not the fact that he doesn't know them, it's the fact that they exist. You see, they shouldn't do that. At least, not in your world. Cutthroat doesn't talk to anyone unless it serves him entertainment, so it doesn't surprise him that he doesn't know who you're visiting. He really doesn't care at all actually, but because you're going, he has to come with. It's a given he's allowed to come with. If you don't let him or fuss, you're not leaving at all and he'll proudly tie you to furniture with red ribbon if it means you're not going. Now you two can play something more fun alone instead! Wanna watch red bloom from his skin?
Yearning: How does he handle his feelings for his angel before snapping?
Why, with you at his side of course. Snapping is just him finally proving his ultimate love by killing you. He let's the feelings build up until they become too much to bear.
He may also kill to bite back the heat melting him alive when he sees your halo. He doesn't wanna kill you too soon, you're so pretty to look at...oh...but he has to eventually. He's saving you for later like you're a wine that only becomes more intoxicating the longer it sits. Other people, even animals are perfect to stave off the need for red other than yours...but don't be surprised when he bites the hand that feeds his obsession.
Zenith: Would he break his angel’s psyche if it meant they’d fall in love with him?
No. He knows you like him the same way he likes you, but even if you don't, it doesn't matter. You'll be his in the end no matter what.
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