#it's autumn it's been cold like i GET it but my plants are so sad and dead looking :( they still have a few tomatoes tho

[moonlight-tmd]

Anything insecticon bee.

Mating habits? Wing talk? How he sleeps so deep they all check to make sure he isn’t dead.

Prowlbee or Blitzbee

I knew i'd see you in my ask box sooner of later~

The hibernation protocol is like stasis but it gets into action automatically when it gets cold. Let's say like, late autumn- Bee will get cold but still function normally til mid-November, but after that his Hibernation Protocol will kick in and he'll eat more and move slower and after one week of it working he'll get all cozy in berth with multiple blankets and just snooze. Not even the plant's alarm will wake him up.

The first time his protocol kicked in everyone was worried cuz Bee was- well, not acting like Bee! Then they went into panic cuz Bee disappeared and there was no trace of him. Only 2 days later Ratchet found him sleeping under one of the boilers they had(the only one working at that time) with a blanket. Still, he had to shake him awake cuz he would not wake up to him calling. Panic might have been eased but still they were hella worried about him, Prowl goes in every morning to check on Bee snoozing in his room with blankets and heaters so he wouldn't crawl into some weird space again, others check in whenever they pass by his room, Ratchet comes to do a scan around noon everyday until Bee is waking up and being active again in late February. Still there was no way Sari wouldn't have woken him up for Christmas- she did succed because she jumped on him while blasting an air-horn to his audial. She does this every time before Christmas. And the others scold her everytime for it.... Bee doesn't mind as much, he likes spending time with his team. Honestly he'd be sad if he missed Christmas with them. Sari also wakes him up on Valentines Day.

ProwlBee: Prowl would essentially move in with Bee and spend his free time with him, cuddling and meditating as he listens to Bee's slow vents.

BlitzBee: Blitz lives with Bee in his room so of course he's gonna act as an additional heater for his hummel- he just lays next to him and wraps his arms and legs around the big Bee-rrito and snoozes too. He wakes up around noon and goes to bed very late. (habit from his decepticon days) Most of the time he stays in berth with Bee just napping and cuddling or sits by him sculpting.

Now onto wings! I imagine seekers/fliers would use their wings to attract or impress a potential mate. Insecticons do the same. Of course, there was no way Bee could do it before he went into the cocoon. So after Bee hatches and has those features showing, he will defo do unintentional displays for his beloved:

If ProwlBee: Prowl has knowledge about animals- and insecticons now that there was the deal with the cocoon- so he knows Bee is doing it to impress him. Which there is no need for, but damn it's working.

If BlitzBee: Blitz is half-seeker, he knows the whole ordeal with seekers trying to impress potential sparkmates with their wings. He's done the same with Bee, even if Bee didn't realize. Bee's wings are the most beautiful ones he's ever seen, and when Bee spreads them out and flutters them so they sparkle- Sweet Primus, he's so smitten. He will also flutter his own wings, Bee has a strange feeling about them- like they're the most impressive part of Blitz.

And i know what you want- i saved it for last. And a reminder that i do not write transformers the "usual" way: here is my version of how they do the interfacing.

Spoiler just in case: NSFW, alien biology

So, you have the normal transformers junk written out in the post i linked. Insecticons have it a bit differently as you imagine. Although for Bee it is mixed cuz he is not full Insecticon like Waspinator or Blackarachnia.

Insecticons, for all i could come up with, have a hidden slot under their abdomens(back thingy). So they do the deed the normal, sexual way. That slot is also a way for eggs to come out so the larva can hatch.

Bee also has that slot. Now interfacing is a little bit tricky- he still interfaces with his sparkmate(Blitz or Prowl) like regular transformers would. But everytime it happens he has to have a rag or towel wrapped around his abdomen cuz that slot gets kinda leaky when they get kinky...

So a normal cybertronian would have 4 tendrils and 1 reproductive strut. I imagine that because Bee's biology has changed slightly, he only has 2 tendrils and 1 reproductive strut. And while transformers can release the reproductive strut on command- insecticons? eeh not really. So it's often hard to see which wire is coming out of where cuz the fluff on his belly keeps poofing up due to static and blocking the view- Bee has to put gel in it to keep it down. While the tendrils and the reproductive strut can't really intertwine or else whoops, Bee and his partner can still play with it.

If you're asking for kinks then there's the feeding kink, wing kink, glossa kink(?), biting kink and i don't know what else. The tendrils themselves are kinky enough to play with i guess. I mostly write for BlitzBee so yeh, i dunno what Prowl would be into.

I had a very funny not-canon-to-this-AU scenario in my head earlier;

So Blitz and Bee decide to get funky now that Bee is different and see if there is some new kinks to discover... They did the deed once.

The following days Bee is feeling odd, he's not as energetic and he can't retch up honey to give to Blitzy as a treat.

At some point Prowl gets concerned and tells him to go to Ratchet for a scan, Blitz goes with him. So they do the scan and Ratchet literally just stares at the result image with wide optics and semi-scared expression.

The next thing everyone in the plant hears is a scream accompanied by a loud metallic thud.

So turns out, because Bee's biology changed- he got sparked. (they got all confused which wire is which, whoops.)

Oh, and did i forgot to mention? Insecticons can have up to 20 larva per brood.

Lucky that Bee is only part-insecticon so he ended up having 8 Newsparks in him... which they ended up terminating cuz there is no way they would be able to handle it.

Yeah... Blitz and Bee interface rarely now in fear of it happening again. They still get kinky sometimes, you don't have to have direct contact to have fun.

Altering the non-canon scenario: If Bee did keep them, his other insecticon protocol would kick in- similar to how he was unaware when he was making a cocoon, Bee essentially becomes kind of feral and builds a small hive/nest in the basement. There was a storage room no one ever went into so it was a perfect place. So he disappears and nobody knows where he is until Prowl hears something when he's in the basement and finds Bee hissing and a pile of insecticon eggs in the hive-nest. Once the littles hatch he goes back to normal, dw.

The way Bee having eggs would happen; Newsparks incubate in the Sparkchamber but then get moved to a special compartment in his abdomen where eggs get formed around them and they get laid. Then like normal insecticons, Bee would cover them with honey that the eggs absorb nutriens from and the Sparkling-larva is growing, just like what Bee is after the cocoon. Then once they hatch they still eat the honey until they can eat solid food and energon. Then later on they also cocoon themselves.

I'm getting way too scientific with this, geez.

I know you probably wanted some NSFW action but honestly i can't make myself write it like this. You gotta send me a direct ask for me to ditch my dignity and aswer honestly. Also give me a prompt cuz no idea what or how to write nsfw.

If you weren't asking that- oh well, now you know just in case.

#maccadam #tfa #ask box #tfa bumblebee #blitzbee #prowlbee #long post #tfa au #part-insecticon!bumblebee au

[zeldaelmo]

Here's @bahbahhh 's awesome art!

Dismissed, chapter 3

Link held his breath, his knuckles still hovering over the wooden door. Blood rushed in his ears and the lonely tea he had for breakfast threatened to come out. Nothing, no crack from the floor panels, no rustling dress, no flipped book.

His hand sank back to his side and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Another minute passed and he turned, returning to his room like a dog that was rejected a head pat.

Maybe she had installed some kind of Sheikah Technology to supervise her door and didn't open it because she never wanted to see him again. Unrealistic? Yeah. But he would have said that about him getting kicked out as her knight, too. Maybe she was traveling again, but he would have known that— no. He would not have known because he wasn't the head of her guard anymore. It was still unlikely, she preferred a little break between her journeys. 

He grabbed a coat from his room and went strolling towards the castle gardens. The four walls of his room got on his nerves, and he needed the crisp winter air clearing his head.

Maybe it really was a suitor. Maybe she didn't open because they hid away in her room, the man kissing her lips plush and stealing his hand under her— no. He had been with her until yesterday and he hadn't noticed anyone special. Even if there was a suitor, she couldn't know him well and would have to spend time under the watchful eyes of the court first. A heated affair wasn't her style anyway, no less with a man she hardly was familiar with. 

Sighing, he entered one of the paths towards the gardens. The cold air didn’t help much. His thoughts still ran in circles. Frankly, riding home and back hadn’t helped to ease his mind and this stroll wouldn’t help either. Nothing would help, he just knew it. 

He passed the arc of roses marking the garden entry, now adorned with rosehips dusted with hundreds of ice crystals, but the beauty evaded him. Kicking up frozen chunks of snow, he passed the garden beds the two of them had so painfully replanted this autumn after Ganon’s minions had been banned from the castle grounds for good. A sad, withered twig stuck out of the snow. He crouched, grazing the plant with his fingertips. 

It broke.

“What are you doing here?”

Link wheeled around, ungracefully landing on his butt in the hard frozen snow. Zelda. Oh, Goddess, and he was… He scrambled to his feet, dusted his trousers and coat off, and raised his gaze to the green eyes staring at him from the garden bench. “I… um… well, I…”

“Aren’t you supposed to have some days off?” Her voice wasn’t exactly hard, but it was far from the usual amicable tone they held for each other. Had held, for each other until yesterday.

He laughed nervously, but his throat was so tight that only a gurgling sound came out. “I… My mom kicked me out.” That… was not really what had happened.

She frowned, hands clutching the Sheikah Slate on her lap. Were her eyes swollen? It was hard to tell with her face glazed over with red from the cold. “Your mom kicked you out on Hylia’s Day? That’s hard. Maybe you can stay… never mind.” Her eyes darted away, away, to the barren apple trees in the back of the garden where they had shared a picnic on a lush evening in— he needed to stop thinking about these moments. Fast.

“Well, it’s not really, I mean, she didn’t…” Sighing, he approached the bench and sat down, maintaining a careful distance between them. She didn’t look at him and he closed his eyes for a second, shuddering. The rift between them was real. His dismissal hadn’t been something the King had misunderstood or an unfortunate way of promoting him. Something inside him broke like the withered flower he had just touched.

How do you fix something if you don’t know what’s broken?

He wanted nothing more than to reach for her hand, to stroke his thumb over the smooth leather of her glove like he had gotten away with in Rito Village when he helped her to hop the stairs up to the Elder. He wanted her to fix the perfectly fine buckle of his coat like she used to do with his climbing gear or the red cord of this royal guard uniform, but her hands remained wrapped around the slate and had no kindness to spare for him.

“Zelda…” 

She flinched at the usage of her name, ignoring his waiting gaze. Her eyes were red, he had no doubt from so close. 

“Zelda, did… did you cry?”

Her hands clasped the slate harder and pulled it up against her chest. “That’s nothing of your concern, Sir Link.”

Back to titles, wow. Whatever he had done, it must have been severe. He swallowed and swallowed, but the lump in his throat wouldn’t vanish. “Of course it is my concern, as your knight I’m responsible for your wellbeing and…”

“Not anymore,” she interrupted him.

The reality dropped on him like snow sliding from a roof. But as your friend, lingered on his tongue, but he didn’t want that illusion destroyed by having it officially denied by her, too.

She left it at that, offering nothing to warm the icy air between them. Time ran through his fingers, she would stand up and go on with her day soon if he didn’t come up with something fast. 

“Um, I was at your door earlier, but you weren’t there. I—I came because…”

“You can give the samples for the experiments you still have from me to the servants. I hardly expect you to continue them on your own.” She still didn’t bother to look at him. What unforgivable crime had he committed that she was so upset?

“No, that’s not it. I mean, I’ll do that, of course. But I wanted to talk… about what happened.” Maybe that was vague enough to prompt her to spill his shortcomings. She couldn’t avoid him forever if he stared at her long enough. 

“A little late, don’t you think?” Oh, Goddess, she looked back. She had been crying — a lot — her eyes had dark circles and were blood red, and he had done that to her. His hand flew to his mouth, stifling a gasp, but the puff of white air betrayed him anyway. 

“I apologize, that was rude of me. Our alliance as Princess and Hero will take no damage, I promise. I’m still thankful for all your deeds in the war and everything you’ve done for me. You can always pass me a note if you’re back in the castle and are in the mood for a cup of tea, just give me a few days to adjust to the new situation.”

“Er,” Link began, but the words she had just said made no sense to him. Alliance? Cup of tea if he was back in the castle? New situation? He hadn’t planned to stay home longer than a week, what was she talking about?

He buried his head in his hands, leaning on his knees. There was no way around this. “Zelda," he spoke toward the snow on the ground that their feet had turned into mud. "Why did you ask your father to resolve my appointment as your guard?”

“I thought that’s obvious.”

He peeked through his fingers, looking at her. She didn’t look back. “No. Not at all. In fact, I have no idea and this is very confusing for me.”

She made a distorted noise and waved her hand. “Well, you can’t be in Zora’s Domain and here at the same time, so I made it easier for you and released you of your duties.”

Okay, now he finally had the reason why. But… that didn’t make any more sense than before. Frowning, he sat up again. “Why… would I be in Zora’s Domain?”

“Why would you— Link, this is not funny. I understand that it’s a private matter, but I would really have appreciated it if you told me that you’re engaged to Mipha, as the princess but foremost as your friend.”

Moments passed and the icy wind that swept through the gardens blew directly into Link’s open mouth. Owlishly, he blinked. Then, he blinked again and snapped his mouth shut. He was… "What?"

Zelda leaped up, clutching the slate to her chest, and glared at him. "I thought we were friends, I really did after all this 'I'll die for you, no, I'll die for you!’ nonsense. But obviously, I was the only one who cared about us on a level beyond duty if you can't even understand why I would be upset that you didn't tell me about your engagement with one of the Champions!"

She was completely out of breath after her tirade. Link finally grasped what came in a waterfall out of her mouth, but that didn't mean he could put any sense behind the words. Maybe he should start with what he had gathered. "I'm not engaged to Mipha."

No reaction. "Um, I see why you would be disappointed if I would hide such crucial information about myself, but that's not the case. I'm not engaged to her nor do I have any plans to change that." She still stood, frozen, and he patted the cold stone next to him. "Zelda, please. I'm not interested in her in that way, I swear, please believe me. I need to know, why would you think that I am engaged to her?"

Reluctantly, she sat down again, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes. Had he said something wrong again? Her mouth fell open and he leaned closer, eager to hear her explanation. She thought better of it and closed her mouth, frowning so hard he feared it would leave lines. 

"Zelda?"

"You wore the armor."

Skies, this was more difficult than pulling teeth from a snoring Hinox. 

"The Zora armor? Yeah, she made it for me." He cracked a grin to lighten the mood, happier memories of last week shining through. "It lets me swim up the waterfalls like a Zora, but, I guess you saw that yourself the other day. I also have a helmet and greaves, but I only wear that if I go into a monster fight."

There was still a frown on her face, it even twitched. She huffed, but he couldn't decipher if it was out of annoyance. It sounded a bit like a laugh, but wouldn't that be weird considering her foul mood? She switched the slate on and his confusion grew. Flip, flip, flip, she went through the pictures, stopped at one of the monuments he had captured for her the other day, and held the slate toward him.

He shot her a questioning look, but she nodded toward the slate. "Just read."

"Miracle of the White Scale," he read out loud. "Oh, I'm familiar with this story, it's King Dorephan's favorite. If we begged long enough, he told it to us as a bedtime story when I was younger."

"The interesting part is towards the end." Her voice was still oddly guarded.

"Okay… let me see… This came to be known as the Miracle of the White Scale, a scale that only female Zora possesses. It was this miracle that began the tradition of Zora princesses crafting armor for… their future husbands?"

His mouth fell open like a water spout. "I… What!?!" 

Zelda snorted, and it was the first moment a tiny fracture of their easy mood from before was back, but Link didn't have time for this now. "That's a joke, right? I can't, I mean, I could, but I don't want to marry Mipha. And I'm sure as Demise's curse not engaged to her! It's…" He gestured wildly to the slate. "It's just a silly story. Just because a monument says that they do that, it doesn't mean anything— Why are you laughing?!"

Zelda's snort had quickly grown into a giggle and she laughed so hard that she nearly fell from the bench. No, wait, now she did fall, only a shaking mass of winter clothes to be seen.

That was… that couldn't be true, right? They were missing something; that simply couldn't be true. No, no, no. Zelda still shook with laughter. She pulled herself up again, saw him, and broke into a new fit of giggles. A smile fought its way onto his face despite himself and soon, he chuckled alongside her.

"Ah, sorry." She wiped her eyes and climbed on the bench again, dropping much closer to him than before. "Only you get engaged and don't even notice it." 

"Zelda, seriously. I'm not engaged to her."

"And I'm serious when I say you are. It's a century-long, very important tradition, I looked it up in the library."

She faced him and his eyes caught on how beautiful she was in her messiness. Strands stuck out of her braids, her cheeks were bright red from laughing and the cold, and her eyes were finally lively again. The lead weight in his stomach lifted, and he leaned closer, grinning. He had had such a horrible time over the past 24 hours, he couldn't resist basking in their ease again. "So… you researched about my love life in the library, did I get that correctly?"

Her eyes flew open and she poked him in the stomach, the dramatic effect considerably lessened by his thick coat. "Oh, hush! What should I do? I thought you ran around in that armor the whole day and brought me a photo of the monument as a subtle sign for me to figure it out! She was practically glued to your side, too, ran her hands over your chest and all that."

Mipha had done what? Link rubbed his nape. "Did she really? So, you think I… oh, Goddess."

"What did she say when she gave you the armor?"

Link rubbed his soles over the muddy cobblestones in front of the bench. Hm… "That she would be happy to spend more time with me again? Like when we were kids." Yes, something like that. Slowly, he turned back to Zelda, eyes widening. "Uh-oh. Do you really think that… that was a proposal?"

Zelda shrugged and blew into her hands. "She is quite shy, maybe she thought you'd catch on to what she wanted to say? How did you react when she gave you the armor? What did you say to her if the question is allowed?"

Link's gaze flickered to her, but there was no way on earth that he could say that and hold eye contact. He cleared his throat, finding an interesting spot on the castle wall behind her. 

"I told her that I'm happy to visit more often but that my duty, uh, actually I might have said, my place is at your side." Her lips parted and if he looked hard enough he could imagine a blush on her already reddened cheeks. Oh, boy, he went too far. "But that's of course now obsolete since, as you stated already, I am not your knight anymore." Phew. All words out in the correct order. "Of course, that doesn't mean that I now wish to marry Mipha, I do not, no matter if I'm your knight or not — okay, I need to stop talking. That's — there's a reason I usually don't talk much."

His face burned. What was he thinking? 

Zelda only chuckled again. She stood up, dusted her coat off, and offered her arm to him with a smile. Link hurried to take it. They were on good terms again, who cared about the details? 

"I think you need to talk to her, just to be sure. You can take the slate if you want."

"Now?" She couldn't be serious. He just rode home and back to talk to her, he would not fast-travel to Zora's Domain to clear up a misunderstanding that he still wasn't sure existed. 

"If it weighs on your mind, then now, yes. I can be without the slate for a few hours, there's a boring mass to celebrate Hylia's Day later anyway."

Link buried his fingers into the soft fur of her sleeve and gathered his courage. Or we just set the table for five. 

"I'll talk to her another day. I still believe if she really was serious about the proposal, she would have said so. But…" Zelda met his gaze, her eyes of the vibrancy of spring a sharp contrast to the withered garden. "If you want to skip that boring mass… in Hateno the village kids always prepare a little play of Hyrule's origins. It's really cute. You could come with me and stay with my family for the holidays. My dad is home, too, so with two royal guards around, I'm sure you'll be safe enough for your father to agree."

An amused expression ghosted over her face and she narrowed her eyes playfully. "Didn't you say your mom kicked you out?"

Link chuckled and squeezed her arm a little. "Actually, she just urged me to address… our differences. But now that's out of the way, she, and I, of course, would be honored to have you as a guest."

Zelda's gaze shifted to mischievous and she leaned closer to his ear, making the hair on his arms stand against the sleeve of his coat. "You're aware that we have no professional relationship right now?" He could hear the teasing smile in her voice. "I just want to make sure that you're aware of the signals you're sending so that you don't get into trouble again. You seem to have difficulty deciphering them."

Oh, he would never hear the end of it! 

He turned his head and met her gaze again. She was so close that he could count the freckles the last days of autumn had left on her nose. "If you are so good at reading them… I commissioned a gift for Hylia's Day for you in Zora's Domain. I had planned to give it to you when I'm back, but I might push that forward to tonight."

"You really aren't interested in Mipha." Her gaze flickered to his lips, but neither of them acted on the anticipation lingering between them. Link didn't mind. With everything else out of the way, he was happy taking their time. They had just admitted for the first time to each other that there was more than duty and even more than friendship between them, the time for a kiss would come.

"Zelda?"

She hummed, leaning her head onto his shoulder. That was the kind of shiver he liked, not what he had gone through in the last few hours!

"You just have to promise me one thing: don't mention that I didn’t know the meaning of the armor to my family under any circumstances."

“Okay?”

“Uh, and that one time I fell from the tree into the pond when I tried to fetch that apple for you… we don’t talk about that either.”

Her lips quivered with suppressed laughter, but then she bursted out, “And that you ate frogs for me?”

“That,” he said with a grin, “is a completely different case because that was for science.”

#zelink #legend of zelda #hw age of calamity #advent calendar #Day 4 #Dismissed #zeldaelmo writes #Aoc

[hedgewitchgarden]

Until a few years ago when I finally moved northward from Florida, you could have told me that apples grow in February and blackberries in March, and I’d have had little reason to disbelieve you. Moving from the tropics gave me an appreciation for when certain plants are cheaper to purchase and that snow is something to contend with, but I also had to face the reality of SAD, seasonal affective disorder.

The well-documented phenomenon of seasonal affective disorder affects roughly 10 million Americans and can crudely be summed up as a form of clinical depression tied to the changing of the seasons. Most who are affected by it feel it in the winter months, though there are many who feel depressive or even anxious symptoms in summer. The cause for the disorder is unknown, but theories range from people staying indoors due to the cold and dark, thus messing with melatonin production in the body, to an evolutionary leftover encouraging us to be more lethargic and energy-conserving due to the lack of resources our species once dealt with during the winter.

For a very long time, I was a skeptic about SAD. To a certain degree, I think it was just a lack of exposure. Most people who told me they were depressed around the holidays seemed to have the same objections I did to commercial Christmas co-opting and being forced to participate in insincere, even corny rituals. As I mentioned earlier, I grew up in Florida, a state noted for having about one percent of its population affected with SAD (compared to ten percent in Alaska).

Even more embarrassingly, I think that I dismissed the disorder out of hand just because of its criteria and name. That psychologists would go so far as to come up with an entire category of depression tied to something as trite as the weather and name it using an acronym that spelled out the word “sad” seemed indulgent at best, ridiculous at worst.

My outlook on SAD changed when I married someone who contends with it.

My wife’s seasonal background is not terribly dissimilar to my own. Before she moved to the same area of Florida in which we met, she had been born and raised in Orange County California. While we both had near-constant sunlight, for whatever reason, she actually did pay attention to whatever seasonal changes were available to her. When she eventually made her own trek to the north, I saw for the first time in the near-decade we’d known one another the true extent of what an early sunset and a sub-freezing thermometer could do to a person.

My wife is not like me: where I am (affectionately, I hope) referred to as a bit of a curmudgeon, she has a reputation for being an absolute delight. She’s pleasant and effervescent, sweet and energetic, loves people, and is always adventurous. She loves the outdoors and the fresh air, and absolutely must leave the house at least once a day or else she feels as though waking up might be a waste of precious time and opportunity.

Autumn is her favorite time of year. She loves crunching leaves underfoot and eating pumpkin-flavored anything and apples. When the mountainsides near our home turn brown and yellow, she feels a peace with the world that I envy every moment I witness it. Then the winter comes and she begins to talk about how she doesn’t want to leave our apartment anymore, how she hates that the sun sets before six and how she’s tired all of the time.

Christmas and New Year’s give her some joy for a while, but she describes February as “Dark. Cold. Depressing.” I hesitate to say that she becomes a different person—it’s more like the person I’ve always known her to be is slowed to the point that I need to work much harder at recognizing her.

More Radical Reads: Depression Is Not a Weakness

Now, anyone who has ever helped a loved one or a partner through depression is aware of how every instinct in your body cries for you to help them get better. All you want in the world is to remind them that their smile is more luminous than any summer day, and you can drive yourself to exhaustion looking for gestures and foods and conversation points that can bring them around. That’s natural and part of caring. It’s also rarely the most productive use of your energy.

There are therapies that have been used to varying level of success when it’s come to SAD: therapy using various lights and lamps is frequently used, and has been shown to have few side effects. In some serious cases, medication can be prescribed—SAD has been linked to suicidal thoughts in many cases–and any such options can and should be discussed with a mental health professional whenever possible. In most cases, explicit attention to self-care is seen as a great response.

More Radical Reads: Undo the Stigma: 10 Things Not to Say to Someone Managing Depression

For me, my job as a partner, and ally, and a witness to SAD is to just be supportive. It isn’t my place to try and step in and attempt to “fix” anything my wife is dealing with. I only need to recognize it for what it is and give it the proper attention that it always deserved and I had so much difficulty giving it for so many years.

I’m absolutely privileged to be an individual who does not suffer from SAD. I easily could have been. I have reason to believe that it may run in my family among a number of other depressive tendencies, but I’m fortunate not to. And I’m fortunate to be able to stand in for someone I care about and be there for her as she handles it in her own way. Sometimes that looks like listening and being in her presence while she contends with a dark bout for a day or so. Most times, it’s shouldering a little more of the load that we carry as a couple trying to make it through and survive and exist.

And sometimes, it’s as simple as warming her up and being a little bit brighter than I might have felt like being, just for her, just for that cold, dark day.

In order to continue producing high quality content and expanding the message of radical, unapologetic self-love, we need to build a sustainable organization. To meet these efforts, we’re thrilled to share the launch of our #NoBodiesInvisible subscription service. This service will provide our community with access to additional content and rewards for your monthly investment in furthering our radical self-love work.

[Feature Image: A photo of a person sitting on a large gate.  The person is wearing blue shorts and blue sneakers.  The gate is in a field of wheat.  Source: Rebecca Thorp]

#sad #seasonal affective disorder #depression

[starsailor-kinthepast]

autumn musings by a caveman

Ca. 600 words (and not proofread! lol)

When I woke up yesterday, the fallen leaves along the sidewalks shone with a crust of frost.

I haven’t experienced autumn like this before. I’ve moved to a new place, with new people and new weather – and more importantly, I’m a new version of myself with brand new opportunities to explore my own self.

With my poor memory I can’t say for sure if I’ve always felt like this or if it’s a feeling that’s been magnified after my paleolithic awakening, and to be quite honest, I don’t care. I feel like this now, and it goes hand in paw with my paleolithic identity, and so here I am: writing this.

I don’t get seasonal depression, not really – but I experience something else. A shift in how I view the world around me. Autumn was always the most important season for foraging; nature had an abundance of fruits and berries and other edible plants, animals were fattening up for winter. I was made for survival, back when survival meant ‘from one minute to the next’ and not ‘from paycheck to paycheck’ – when the danger was the wild, and not each other. It means that now, with the weather changing, I’m restless and uneasy – I want to gather food, go into the forest and pluck mushrooms and berries and store it for the cold winter months. I want to eat and preserve energy when I’m not finding food for my tribe, or at most prepare furs and skins of downed prey to stave of the cold.

The closest I have gotten to a release for these feelings is when I crawled through a public flowerbed to gather fallen chestnuts, and I can’t even eat those, so there wasn’t much point in it. My fibromyalgia, and living in the capital, makes it difficult to “just go for a hike” – and nature isn’t what it used to be, at least not in these parts.

So I am lethargic and restless at once, pacing my flat when I’m not turning the heat up and waiting for painkillers to work. I fill up my freezer and eat none of it, catching myself wanting to buy more than I need because soon, it will snow.

Food and energy is not the only way autumn affects me. I’m lonely much of the time, despite being surrounded by friends who care for me, if only because my home – my cave, my sanctuary – has no open fire, no furs to share. I have two guinea pigs, and I love them with all I have, but they cannot ever replace the warm embrace of another humanoid trying to stave off the cold. These are times where you don’t sleep alone, but back-to-back with someone else: you share your fire, and your food, and your warmth.

I lose my words more often, wanting to revert to dozing off while leaning against another, and send my friends emojis of fire and people hugging because I don’t know how to communicate that I would share my heart and hearth with them. I have more connection with people than I have ever had before in my life, and I am lonelier than ever. It’s not sadness, it’s not any sort of depression I’m familiar with – it’s saknsálr, the longing of the soul, for the reality I belong to.

If it’s like this in autumn, I wonder how winter will affect me. Will I be seeking more contact, warmth and comfort – or will I turn to my crafts, like winter is meant for? I don’t know.

I don’t know if I want to know.

#alterhuman #star speaks #otherkin #otherkin community #otherhuman #paleolithkin #paleolith kin #paleolithic #caveman #star art

[tinyshe]

Garden Report & Frugal Living 23.08.05

I’m moving slower than a slug in a dried out summer garden. I water the potted plants and expect the rest to carry on.

The elderberry bushes are now in full bloom and the Autumn weather has set in. This afternoon I heard the little Executioner of Summer sit outside my window singing his sad song. The trees are definitely putting forth their Autumn attire in reds and yellows. So glancing back to the elderberry -- it will be a blossom harvest because there will not be enough time for the berries to mature and ripen. It has been a chillier Summer, even the hops that grow like rambunctious weeds were feign to put forth flowers; they just twindle and twine about without purpose.

The fruit trees have put on so much green new growth it is hard to see the fruit if there is any. A good Summer trim would be in order if I could drag a ladder about to mount and wack at them. Maybe tomorrow I can beg someone to do that for me.

Tomorrow I have decided I am going to pull the garlic in a ‘ready or not’ maneuver. I need to build up and amend the bed. I also still need to make a second harvest from the potato barrel. Did I tell you the peas are just starting to come up in the pots and some ravenous night marauder is mowing down the leek seedlings?

The blackberries are making a race to ripen. I’m not sure that they will make it with any sugar content due to the cold and eternal fog. I won’t write them off yet but keeping one eye on their progress since so many of them are still blooming!

In the pantry notes: I have found that frozen blueberries dehydrate faster than fresh. My thoughts are the skin of fruits and veg are there to protect the seed esp from dehydration BUT when they are frozen, it changes the structure of the cells/breaks down the fruit/veg which makes it less drying time.  I’m trying out my theory on frozen carrots that came in a big lot at a price half that of fresh. I’m sure I am reinventing the wheel here and experts have written about this, published and have made money on sharing this info but for you dear friends, you get to suffer through my benign ramblings all for the simple low price of a few eye rolls, perhaps a giggle and your blessed time. What a bargain!

The hens are confused at our dusk and dawn rampaging, the neighbors are quiet while we battle the skunks wanting to nest under our house. So far, they the skunks) are winning imo. I have a lovely food forest habitat surrounding the house that sits on post and piers. Yes gentle folk, it is the ammonia bomb season since I have gotten tired of shaking black pepper on everything everyday and doing big thumping loads of laundry at midnight. Doing some ‘bombing’ and buckets of water through the hedges will hopefully dislodge them (yes, there is 2).  I had a pair of garden gawkers arguing about the fire-of-eden so loudly I had to stick my head out the front door and inform them they were not far from the nesting skunk *snff*sniff*big eyes* whereas one of them informed me she likes the skunks because they eat rats.  Obviously this dear woman hasn’t chickens to protect nor a skunk spray under her bedroom in the middle of the night. But with that parting comment, they (the gawkers) left hurry-scurry ... and without the skunk! WAIT! Take the skunk with you since you love them! Please! Its free! Take it home with you!! Wait ... OoooOOo *big sigh of defeat*

Here’s hoping your days are skunkless and your Summer full of delicious Bounty!

#catholic gardener #garden #food forest #permaculture #edible landscaping #urban homestead #hens #chickens #garden gawkers #dehyrator #winter pantry #kitchen science #skunks #pest #garden prep for winter #flowers

[yaysof11037]

Hello, I just wanted to say that you are one of my favorite blogs because of your darkherb incorrect quotes. Do you think you could post some darkherb headcanons or fluff because this ship is really underated.

Hi!! Omg thank you so much!! I’m so glad you like them! I’ve wanted to write actual fics of the ship but my motivation has been so low for my wips (plus I’ve been more focused on the Rise of the Knight rp with Hawklan as well as a Cookie Run x Danganronpa collab with @fluffyfranny). Ahh it means so much to me that there are other people out there who make content for the ship—thought I was the only one at first lol 🤣

But yes! I shall drop a few fluffy headcanons here for ya! Hope you like!;

1. The day Choco and Herb first met was at the Parfaedian Flower Shop. Shortly after leaving the Strawberry Jam Sword and the Cookies of Darkness behind, Choco decided to find a small village to live in and start anew. After moving to a small, yet decent house in Parfaedia, he noticed that a bunch of the villagers had flowers as some form of decoration. He eventually finds himself wandering into the local flower shop, where he bumps into Herb. Herb, being the chipper herbologist/botanist that he is, takes the prince around the store and shows him all of his recommendations. While a little overwhelmed by his interaction with Herb, Choco was thankful for his help and eventually picked out a little flower pot of daisies. After ringing him out, Herb gave Choco his number NOT AS A WAY OF ASKING HIM OUT (bc they just met lol) but just in case Choco wanted to know more about certain plants. But eventually, their relationship blossomed of course ;)

2. This one is actually a headcanon of a mutual of mine (@fluffyfranny thank you for this—hope ya don’t mind that I hc this too lol 😂) that I love so much! Herb’s got a few plant like qualities to him, as that is a given by his design and name lol. When he’s happy, his chest will feel warm, almost as if there’s a little sun shining in his heart. This makes cuddling with him heaven for Choco. He’ll nearly fall asleep on him with how comforting the warmth is 😁. But when Herb is sad, his chest would feel as cold as the rain. That’s when boyfriend mode activates for Choco. Despite how cold Herb’s chest would feel, Choc will still cuddle up to him and rub little circles into his back to make him feel better 🥹

3. Choco frequently has nightmares about his past. Herb learns this the first time they sleep together. Whenever he feels Choco jolting awake and shaking in the middle of the night, Herb will stroke his hair gently and give him little kisses over his hand, then over his shoulder, then up to his cheek. It takes a moment for Choco to get back to reality, but once he finally feels Herb’s soft lil kisses, he’ll turn to face him and kiss him on the lips while Herb wipes away his prince’s tears.

4. Herb’s hair and eyes change colors depending on the season. His hair is the same green and his eyes are the same brown during spring and summer, but once fall hits, his appearance is more like his Autumn Leaves costume. And in the winter, he’s got the same appearance as his Frosty Mint costume. Herb is normally very insecure about this due to being bullied for it in childhood (story for another time), so he often hides the changes with the help of Alchemist Cookie’s concealing potions she lends him. But of course, Choco would accidentally walk in on him just about to take one of his potions. Herb would get all embarrassed and explain that these changes are something thing that just happens as each season goes by. He’ll hold back his tears and say, “I… I understand if you think I look a little silly… b-but don’t worry… I-I was just about to—!” Choco would stop him midway and tell him that he thinks he looks beautiful, no matter the changes. He would show him that he doesn’t need to hide the way he looks as he changes. (And if anyone were to make any negative remarks towards Herb’s fall or winter appearance, Choco would start kicking ass)

5. Tehehe drunk headcanons time for funsies! Herb drinks a bit more than Choco does, so while he’s able to stay sober after 3-5 drinks, if you get him going with free refills and shots, he will be the typical stumbling, confident, and flirty drunk around Choc! And much like his father, Choco would be absolutely hammered after just one or two drinks! When he’s drunk, he’s in a constant daze as he leans over Herb’s shoulder and blankly nuzzles into it as he falls asleep. If he feels Herb getting up for a moment, then he lets out a whine like a little kitten and pull him back in.

Aaaaand I think that’ll be all for tonight! I’ve got more, but this post is already long enough as is lmao! I hope you like these headcanons! 😁

#cookie run #dark choco cookie #herb cookie #chocoherb #darkherb #ask #headcanons #projectmoonlightproductions

[theretirementstory]

Greetings from Bar-sur-Aube where we currently have 4c and sun. Typically, I am going to be cooking soups and some apple puddings.

Can you believe that I have never noticed this house, until yesterday, a change of parking places meant I was able to admire it. Isn’t it wonderful that, after five years, this town can still surprise me.

There is a strike in France (oh yes!) not sure if it is tanker drivers but cities/towns and villages have run out of petrol and diesel.

My goodness it has been another busy week, I went to a concert in the church in a nearby village, Anie invited me and I drove her and her friend Monique. When I got there I saw Jeannette and Eric, she would have liked me to sit with them but realised I was with friends. Typical church the wooden pews were not made for large posteriors and I was glad when I could stand up! Later in the week it was a concert by the young people from the conservatoire. A little girl aged seven was very good on the piano as was an older girl. The violinists, which included some very young girls, were also very competent, not like me who never progressed due to the Elastoplast being removed from the neck of the violin, this was to teach me placing my fingers for the notes, once the gooey bit wore off I was terrible. I think the only thing I remember playing was Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, I wasn’t much better on the piano either 😂. There. We’re clarinetists, trumpet, trombone, and flute, it was wonderful to see the enthusiasm and talent.

After the rain that fell last week, I was beginning to think that not only autumn but winter had arrived, however we have had some wonderfully sunny days even if there has been a mist every morning. I managed to get into the garden and cleared out the cherry tomato plant, tidied up the strawberries, the planter I made earlier in the year and cleared out some of the bolting lettuce and keeping my fingers crossed that the beetroot will start to grow a bit bigger.

I was invited to the home of new American friends who live in town. I took a little cream rose and a box of macaroons to have with our tea. Three hours just flew by, we talked, laughed and talked some more.

Someone, I have no idea who, called at my home one afternoon as I was dozing in the chair. They left me a book (English) so I now have something else to read.

After the closure of the cinema, I wondered if I would ever see Sara, one of the co-operatives, again. She used to take one of the French classes that Jony and I attended and she had always been very friendly to me. Well yesterday I saw her talking to Françoise (the regular cinema attendee who munched on chocolate bars) I spoke to them both then asked Sara if I could speak to her in English, apologising to Françoise for the change of language. I had expressed how sad I was at the closure and as I was preparing to leave, I hugged Sara and wished her well with whatever she did next.

The CT scan is now out of the way there is only the ECG next week and then we can see what if anything has shown up.

“The Paralegal” has missed the poetry , so here it is back by popular demand, I hope you like this:

Excerpt from “Leaves” by Elsie N Brady

“How silently they tumble down

And come to rest upon the ground

To lay a carpet, rich and rare,

Beneath the trees without a care,

Content to sleep, their work well done,

Colours gleaming in the sun.

My gorgeous grandson has started with the cold that “The Daddy” just managed to get over, “The Mummy” is starting with it too. I am not the only one with hospital appointments, my gorgeous granddaughter is going to hospital this coming Friday.

There was another market in town yesterday, by the time I got there, after lunch, there were not many stalls left. I did, however, stumble upon the stall that has sewing and knitted items. I can’t resist lavender bags so I bought some more, plus there were felt Xmas tree decorations and I purchased a couple of those too. I wandered down to the bar, met Yves on the way and we had a little chat, he was saying about the arthritis in his fingers, he always has a smile though and walks a lot to help his circulation. The bar are now offering cocktails, I asked Christophe if he had honed the moves for mixing cocktails and we had a little laugh as he showed his moves. Then it was home to cut the grass, turn the compost and then have a nice relax.

Hopefully I will be back with my knitting workshop ladies next week.

When I was in the UK I bought some small lavender bags, some I saw were £4.99 each (they were tiny), these two cost me 3€, the lady just handed me this bag, which has a fish shaped bag, (fish are the great Tunisian good luck symbol) and you must admit the other does have a little “tartan” effect so represents north of my birthplace.

Bon week-end.

[mason-the-mosan]

Rotting Pumpkins

TW: Graphic descriptions of rot

~~~~~~

Have you ever smelled rotting pumpkins? Its not very pleasant. Its not earthy, or plant-like. There's a hint of sweetness, but it mixes so horribly with the others it makes the whole thing even worse. Its a scent you don't smell very often, because most people don't let it get to that point. Sure, if you carve one into a jack-o-lanterns, you'll toss it as it decomposes, but almost no one lets it get too bad. When its starts to cave in, that's the end of the line.

I work at a grocery store. Not too big, and not to far from where I live, perfect for me. I work in the bottle room, an even smaller area near the front. I bring all this up because of one other section of the store: Floral. Floral is responsible for setting up displays outside of the store, usually right outside of the bottle room. It's always themed around the season, or whatever holiday is coming up. Flowers and plants of various kinds in the spring and summer, Christmas wreaths and trees in the winter, and pumpkins for autumn. You might be able to see where this is going.

Whenever autumn rolls around, the front of the store is decorated with pumpkins and gourds of various kinds. There were also plants in pots, but they always looked wilted to me. Some of the pumpkins were in big cardboard boxes, some were put on stepped metal displays, but most were just thrown in piles against the store walls. Never understood why they'd just pile it, always made my job harder when I had to move bottle bins around them.

Sometimes, someone from floral would come out and water the plants. Oddly, they'd also water the pumpkins. I thought that was odd, not like they could keep growing anymore. combined with the fluctuating weather we've been having lately, I was concerned about how fast the pumpkins could rot this year.

I bring this all up because some things happened a week ago. It started when one day, someone inside the store had decided to move the pumpkins on the right side of the store to the left. I'm not sure when it happened, but they did it pretty damn fast, cause one hour they were on one side, next the other. They were piled up against the wall, so many you couldn't see the ground or the wall behind it. Only one pumpkin remained, looking out of place against the red brick behind it. I wasn't sure why it was left behind, but learned why quickly when I grabbed it, ripping the thing in half.

The stench was awful. The wind made it worse, billowing around me and attacking my nose from all sides. I had to get gloves and a trash bag, scooping the mess by hand. It was like trying to handle slime, slipping through my fingers and splatting back onto the ground. Some was more solid, tearing from the goo in meaty strands. Even with the gloves, I squirmed uncomfortably. The worst thing about it, though, was how warm it was. the day was dreary and sad, the night cold, but it was like the rotting flesh of the gourd had been sitting in the sun all day.

The second thing to happen, I didn't notice immediately. The day was hot, and floral had just finished watering the pumpkins again. Over the course of the day, most of the liquid dried. However, one trickle continued to persist, which I did slowly notice. It grew longer and longer, like a single crooked finger growing from the pile of orange. The smell began to grow stronger too, the tip of the liquid finger turning a sickly orange-cream color. I let the managers know I thought another pumpkin was rotting, and they said they'd take care of it, but I wasn't too sure. I wasn't gonna dive in there myself to find it, and after what happened the next day, I'm glad I didn't.

I had the next day off, so I wasn't there when it happened. When I came in next, the pumpkins were gone, the entire area clear of any sort of seasonal items. The air was really somber inside the store, and when I asked, I was pulled into a side room and quietly told.

A skeleton had been found buried under the pumpkins.

I didn't hear anything else about the situation for the rest of the day. From what I was told, someone was digging through the pile for the perfect specimen when they found it. It was pressed against the wall, the pumpkins around them rotted to the point of turning to mush. A bony hand stuck out from the glob of rotten plant matter, like it was reaching. The bones were covered in a thick layer of the stuff, and some parts were described as 'stringy' when the skeleton was lifted from the mass. Like sinews of orange muscle, trying to drag it back down. Inner parts sloughed off in clumps, seeds dangling from tiny threads. The mush took some of the bones with it, ripping ribs from the chest and popping off an arm. A coworker who was getting carts and saw it told me it looked like the rot 'didn't want to let go'.

Cops were called, as the bones weren't plastic, but we don't have much hope of finding out what happened. The current rumor I heard was some college folks stealing a skeleton from a morgue to pull some kinda prank, which would be the more comfortable explanation. Something out of a horror movie, but still a grounded reason. However, I don't really believe that. Someone would've noticed, they had to. How do you move so many pumpkins without someone noticing? How do you get that much rotten matter in the same place without someone realizing?

Either way, I'm just glad the pumpkins are gone.

#writing #creative writing #halloween #pumpkin #rot #horror writing

[helennorvilles]

so like..... i KNOW this is just what happens to plants heading out of season, but my tomato plants are slowly dying and its sad to watch lmao

#it's autumn it's been cold like i GET it but my plants are so sad and dead looking :( they still have a few tomatoes tho #they're still trying to grow <3<3<3 #meanwhile my chilli plants have gone fucking WILD #i have......... at least two maybe three dozen chilli's growing?????? #like.... so so many chillis to the point idk what i'll do with them all once they mature #they're all still green but they're meant to be red cayenne chillis so i must be patient #actually i lie bc two of the chillis have a spot of red on them like they are very slowly but surely turning red and i am EXCITED #i just need them all to go red and then i can become chilli obsessed instead of tomato obsessed lol #i think i want to make chilli relish and maybe dry some out too??? gotta do some research tbh #same with my herbs like i still have a fuckton of parsley out there #my post tag

[allforyoumylovely]

emma, hiii. you're taking requests, like that's the best thing ever hihi. idk why but I've had this image in my head of sander resting against robbe's chest as he robbe reads to him, while he runs a hand through sander's hair. maybe sander is coming out of a bad episode or maybe they're just relaxing on a sunday, but yeah.... maybe something like that hihi. much love to you emma <333

Cille, this was an absolute dream prompt for me, my gosh 💘 📖  I went off on a few tangents but hopefully that’s okay sfhjg. Walk, shower, read. It’s their little routine 🧡  Thank you for sending me this. Love you! Btw let me know if I should upload these on ao3 or if they should just be little tumblr exclusives?

Sander always knows when he’s fading away, when he’s turning into a shell of himself. But he never knows when he’s going to fall asleep at the wheel. Until it’s too late, until he crashes. And that’s when he loses all sense of who he is, of what he enjoys or how he likes to dress or what his voice normally sounds like. Sometimes the only indication of time passing is his alarms that tell him to take his meds and eat at set times.

Although he doesn’t reach the point anymore where he wants to be physically erased – he knows that this seemingly perpetual state of sadness isn’t definitive no matter how much his brain tries to convince him otherwise – some days all he can drag himself out of bed for is a cup of coffee and a cigarette or a few slices of tangerine, the scent reminding him of his boy, his college boy. He’ll crack open a window in the living room and curl up against the cushions in the window-seat, the hood of his black hoodie over his head, and there he’ll try weaving his way through the weeds and the tangled neurons in his thunder-stained mind to anything resembling an actual thought with a pinch of substance.

For the days where he’s more clear-headed his mama puts up little post-its around the house with simple tasks for him to do to help him feel useful and necessary. And in the mornings whenever Robbe has spent the night, Sander finds little notes from him too; there’ll be an I love you on his pillow, an I’m so glad you exist placed on his desk and I’m bringing you flowers later <3 hanging on his door. The first time Sander doesn’t think Robbe actually means the one with the flowers, but when he buzzes him in later that afternoon, the first thing he sees is a bouquet of light pink lilies cradled in his arm against the autumn brown of his jacket, the hues so lovely and gentle, just like Robbe. It’s more than Sander’s frail mind can take, and Robbe wipes away the thin streams of warm tears with his sweater paws, and they laugh softly when it only makes it worse.

Since before Robbe, Sander has been figuring out what soothes him, what makes him feel more at ease, what helps him settle back into his body and bones when coming out of a bad episode, and he has slowly built up a list of things that assist in bringing the puzzle pieces of his mind back into place.

Walks

Sander’s aunt has a golden retriever, Bella, who goes on a little holiday at Sander’s when he’s down and spends most of his days at home. In the mornings she’ll pad over the hard-wood floor to his bed and nuzzle her nose against Sander’s face until he wakes up, waiting patiently for her walk. It’s easier for Sander to get out of bed knowing there’s someone relying on him for their needs and wellbeing. He’ll take her and himself on a walk in the fog-blue mornings when the morning traffic is yet to come, and then again in the early evening when it’s still light out but the streets are quieter, enough for him to give his brain some stimulation when it feels like it has slowed to a halt. The sound of his boots against the sidewalk reminds him that he’s still part of the world, that he hasn’t completely vanished after all.

Sometimes he goes by himself, just listening to and observing the city around him with pale eyes. Other times Robbe goes with him, sleepy-eyed and rosy-cheeked in the mornings, relaxed and loose-limbed at night. He doesn’t curl his hand around Sander’s but lets it hang by his side with their pinkies brushing, open and inviting, for Sander to take if and when he feels like it. Sander will thread their fingers together always, but he loves Robbe for giving him a choice and never forcing anything on him.

Often, they find a bench somewhere, in a park or at the river, a place that isn’t too crowded but still has plenty of things for Sander to rest his eyes on. It’s only the middle of September but some leaves are already falling, lying yellow and limp on the ground, and Robbe notices Sander’s wondering expression.

“It’s probably because the weather has been so dry; they’re shedding their leaves to conserve water and energy,” he says.

And Sander instinctively inches closer, a small smile on his lips. “Clever you.”

Bella sits by Sander’s legs with her head propped on his knee, her deep brown eyes alternatively scanning the place and glancing up at him, sensing his sadness. She’s calm and curious and cuddly, reminding him of a certain someone. When Sander tells him, Robbe breathes out a little giggle, making Sander gaze at him more deeply than he has in days, at the silky curls around his ears and the blinking hoop and the crescent dimples curved into his cheeks, and he’ll quietly rest his head on the slope of Robbe’s shoulder, a few tiny clearings of blue sky starting to appear in his overcast mind.

Showers

Back at home, he and Robbe linger in the hallway for a bit, their hair messy, the scent of fresh air in their clothes. When Robbe says that his green, sparkly eyes are coming back, Sander curls a few fingers in the front of Robbe’s shirt, feeling the firm plane of his stomach against his knuckles as he mumbles, “Shower.”

Some nights Sander can’t stand the mere idea of catching glimpses of himself in the mirror; hates the way he looks with his violet circles and dull, greasy hair. So Robbe will light a couple of candles, and they’ll undress in the dim orange glow and quietly get under the shower spray. And there, with Sander’s forehead resting against his own, Robbe will wash Sander’s hair and tell him that he looks beautiful in this light, while his fingers work in small, bone-melting circles. The near orgasmic pressure on his scalp helps reconnecting Sander’s mind and body, making him press up tightly against Robbe, finally diving back into the swirling, velvety heat that licks into every cell of his being.

“Thank you for… For staying with me,” he says between hushed breaths and light kisses. It falls clumsy from his lips, sounding graver than he intends it to, but Robbe, the angel soul that he is, moulds his answer into five words of pure reassurance that protectively wrap themselves around Sander’s heart.

“I’m going to marry you.”

Sander doesn’t cry. But he’s very damn close.

Reading

This one begins one night maybe a year into their relationship. While Robbe brushes his teeth, Sander wanders Robbe’s room, taking in the familiarity of it, running a hand over the forest green sweatshirt draped over his chair, trailing the edge of his desk with a few fingertips. When he reaches his set of shelves, he sees it wedged in between a plant and some school supplies: a book of bedtime stories filled with beautiful watercolour illustrations, the cover a painting of a dark blue night sky with a full moon reading for her stars over a little sleeping village. The spine is threadbare, seemingly from the countless times of being opened and closed. As he flicks through the crinkled pages, soft lips press against the nape of his neck and the back of his shoulder.

“Are you snooping around my room?” Robbe mumbles.

“Mhm,” Sander hums. “What’s this book?”

Twining his arms around Sander’s stomach from behind Robbe says, “When I was little my mama used to read these stories aloud for me at night. She was looking through some stuff the other day and found it again.” He hooks his chin over Sander’s shoulder. “It’s cute, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Very.” Sander glances back at Robbe with a squeezing feeling in his chest. “Did it make you fall asleep?”

Robbe smiles. “Every time.”

Sander drops his gaze back to the book, asking quietly, “Will you read for me?”

And Robbe brushes a “Sure” and a kiss behind his ear, tugging him along to the bed.

It’s something they do now: Robbe reading aloud for Sander whenever he feels low and doesn’t have many words to offer. Sander then tucks his head under Robbe’s chin, and Robbe tangles his fingers in his freshly washed and citrussy-smelling hair, scraping over his scalp in endless, soothing motions. Safe and sound, Sander listens to stories about naughty star-children, wizards flying about in rolled up rugs, and a Goodnight-ship with live stuffed animals as passengers. They flow over him like dripping streams of honey, Robbe’s voice lovely and wonderful and a little sleepy, and Sander tries so desperately to make his foggy brain hold onto the words.

Sometimes when the night air is cooling Sander’s room and Robbe feels a little cold, he’ll wear a thick hoodie to bed. Sander loves the scent and the comfy feel of the well-worn fabric under his palm, but sometimes he gets a little frowny and frustrated at having to fumble for his small waist; so Robbe pulls it off despite the goosebumps rising on his skin, and Sander presses his ear to his heart and tightens his hold around him, sharing his body heat his only job while he listens to stories from when Robbe was little. And Sander feels little too; but it’s something he allows himself. A few years ago, he didn’t dare dream that he’d ever have this with someone; didn’t think he even had this level of softness in himself.

But here he is. Here they are.

He has never wanted to be someone’s more than he does Robbe’s; it’s so clear that he belongs to him. And it’s crazy, Sander thinks. Because no matter how feeble and numb around the edges his body and mind feel, his love for Robbe is always right there in a molten pond at the core of him, and Sander could cry at the fact that his brain always lets him have that.

In the days following, when he finds that he has enough energy to send Robbe little dorky, flirty texts throughout the day, such as Bella woke me up with wet, sloppy kisses. Wish it was you or when you’re in the mood for a snack but you’re not there💔  with an attached photo of himself pouting at the open fridge, he knows that the darkness in his chest and brain is releasing its hold and taking flight.

#drabbles 💗 #wtfock #cille 💗

[shattersstar]

evergreen

and if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent (part four)

pairing: adrian tepes x reader

excerpt: You were grinning, running through all the most beautiful, fullest, dreamiest of adjectives to capture the face of your love. You tilted your head to the left, and he followed, the two of you grinning at each other with soft, soundless laughs. You closed your eyes for a moment, inhaling and blinking at him with a new found clarity, the words flowing effortlessly.

warning(s): brief injury mention, fluff, this is so,,hopelessly romantic, heart shape lockets making a reappearance

a/n: sorry ive only been writing for adrian my brain has been in alucard lockdown and it wont end (although this might be my favourite thing ive ever written so i’m..less sorry)

—

It was quiet, the distant din of the forest brushed over the two of you. It was a reminder of the life surrounding the desolate place you called home. Your eyes were closed as you focused on the sound, the breathing of trees and humming of streams. You supposed Adrian heard it all so clearly, the animals and plants alike all alive in the surrounding forest. You strained to hear the crunch of fallen leaves by foxes or snap of fallen branches by deers.

It was autumn and the world was alive with harvest. Animals prepared for winter, plants returned to the soil and tree lines morphed into flame. It was one of the last warm days, the sun high in the cloudy sky, shining onto the picnic you two had set up. You were laying down, letting the sun soak over your while Adrian sat cross legged behind you. Your head was in his lap, the book you were reading was resting on his thigh above your head, opened onto the page you were on. Adrian had brought a book as well, but discarded it after a few minutes of reading. It was out of date, he explained, the science was false and he decided to draw over the useless words instead.

You assumed there was some value in its history, but didn’t question it as he silently sketched. Adrian was always such an artist, often drawing you, or other’s he cared for. He could sketch Sypha and Trevor from memory, yet often butchered some detail of the latter for his own amusement you supposed. He drew his parents often too, but was quick to erase such images, as if even seeing their face was still too painful.

He had begun painting more recently. You liked sitting and working on something while he painted, catching occasionally glimpses at his work. Adrian was never shy about what he created, often showing you without prompting, and never dismissing your request to see his art. He had agreed he was good at it, the technical precision was there, but the heart was not. You were quick to disagree with such sentiment, and yes you could see it within the landscapes and dull memories he created on paper or canvas, but the love was there in the faces of those he cared for.

Each line he added to you, each bit of shading and highlight showcased you in a way that held more adoration than any words could supply. You liked seeing yourself from Adrian’s eyes, seeing your beauty as he perceived it. It was more flattering than anything anyone before him had said to you, not like Adrian would want to hear such things.

You weren’t sure how you knew he was watching, sketching you as you laid in his lap, but you knew he did. You even remained still, forgoing reading to be his muse for the last moments of fall. You didn’t mind getting to lay in the lap of the one you loved, a soft blanket underneath while the sun started to arch towards the west. You could’ve fallen asleep there, nature washing over you and Adrian watching over you. It was a place of peace, a moment you’d engrain into your mind and have a memento—a piece of art to show for it.

You only opened your eyes when Adrian let out an uncharacteristically loud sigh, he didn’t need to breathe, he only did so on his own volition. You peered up at him, sun dancing in his dark lashes. “What is plaguing you so beloved?” You hummed, tilting your head back more as you spoke.

"My chest, it aches.” He admitted with a soft voice. You sat up as his words registered in your ears, worry lacing your features as you moved to sit on your knees, beckoning him closer.

“Still? Why?” He turned his head to the side as your hand smoothed down his slender neck, brushing his collar aside and revealing the tip of the scar that cut diagonal through his torso. You kept your fingers off the injury, but untied the front of his shirt to reveal more of it.

“I am unsure, it just does some days.”

“This has happened before?”

“A few times, yes.” He sighed again, you felt it under your palm that rested next to the pink, raised skin.

“I wished you told me.”

“I did not wish to worry you.”

“And yet I am worried.” Adrian turned towards your other hand, resting on his shoulder and dipped his head down to kiss your wrist. It was a gesture of apology and you accepted it was you let your hand cup his face, lips pressing a kiss to your palm. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I don’t think so.” You frowned, shifting your knees against the blanket. “And somehow I’m not surprised you aren’t pleased with that answer.”

“How can I be pleased when you, my dear, are living in pain?”

“Don’t be pleased then, be appeased.” Adrian shrugged, still speaking into your palm. You let your fingertips graze the edge of his scar before dropping both hands from him.

“If I must.” He chuckled at that, low and warm as your hands found his knees. You gave them a squeeze, almost to check if he still existed before turning, and placing yourself into his lap. You were careful not to lean into his chest, but Adrian eased you against it, his forearm wrapping around your stomach while his other hand brushed your book from his leg. “Now show me what you were drawing.”

“Of course beloved.” He hummed from behind you, picking up his green covered book and letting you flip through the drawings now masking the words. And you were right, many—most were of you.

A few trees, a tired outline of the castle, faces you didn’t know, but still somehow, every few pages was you, lounging in his lap, or from some other memory he stored away. They made you smile, less worried as warmth overtook you.

“Do you ever draw yourself?” You asked once you reached the last sketch, lingering on it.

“No, the image of myself in my mind changes far too often.”

“Oh?” You were surprised by Adrian’s answer, you expected something darker you supposed.

“I see myself one way, and then...I do not. I cannot draw what constantly changes.”

“Why does it change?”

“You.”

One syllable was more breathtaking than a single drawing he had ever done of you.

“Oh.” You found yourself on repeat, closing the book and letting out a slow breath.

“And I supposed other’s I’ve met, but mostly you.” It’s always you, he does not say despite how well it sits in his mouth.

You knew you had impacted Adrian, only a fool would say they didn’t, but to know that the way he constructed himself in his brain, how he felt when he thought of it, how he saw himself in his dreams, how he saw himself with you were all changed by you and how you loved him felt like a deeper proclamation than i love you.

“I still wish you would though, what am I supposed to put in this locket?” Your voice held an air of teasing, but a current of seriousness laced it as well.

“I could try, if you could like.”

You were silent for a moment, you didn’t want him to settle on a version of himself to etch into existence. Not when he was ever changing in his mind's eyes. “What if—“ You twisted carefully to look at him, noses brushing as you did. “What if you drew yourself from how I saw you?” You asked, wanting his art to convey his beauty as it did yours.

Adrian pondered it for a moment, before tilting his head and surprising your lips with his. “Yes.” He whispered against your mouth before finding his book yet again.

You slipped from his lap to give him space and studied him for a long moment. He didn’t shift under your gaze, or look away, but instead studied your back. You were grinning, running through all the most beautiful, fullest, dreamiest of adjectives to capture the face of your love. You tilted your head to the left, and he followed, the two of you grinning at each other with soft, soundless laughs. You closed your eyes for a moment, inhaling and blinking at him with a new found clarity, the words flowing effortlessly.

Serious mouth, something that hides smiles and fangs. Lips that slope into something heartbreaking—a smile like no other.

He grinned at that, eyes dropping to the page as he began drawing.

Soft eyes, set deep, but still shining. Sharp like daggers and holding handfuls of sunrays in them. Not cold with sadness, but heavy with it.

“Heavy with love too.” He hummed, earning a kiss on his forehead before you settled back to describing him.

Nose…

You paused your words, letting Adrian catch up to your lovely description, while you pondered on it too. You knew this was much for him, so much love filling his ears, outward and heedy. Yet it didn’t feel like enough, like it captured how much his appearances enraptured you, but as his heart did too. You wanted him to see your love through your eyes.

It was a daunting task, and yet you carried on. You reached out, brushing over his nose with your index finger, as if the words lived in your fingertips and could only be released by touch. You furrowed your brows, lips parting before you took Adrian’s hand, the one holding the book. He kept his gaze on you as you brought his slender fingers to his nose, tracing it as you did. You loved all Adrian’s features, but his nose especially, and no words could describe the beautiful feature that pulled his whole face together.

My favourite thing.

He let his attention fall back to the drawing, a bloodless blush could’ve warmed his face with the kind descriptions you imparted onto him. He knew you loved him, you proclaimed it enough, but the sweet words that overtook this dimming autumn day were even more dizzying than he expected. And you weren’t done yet, unrelenting in your words and adoration for him.

Sharp contours—jaw, cheekbones—with an underlying kindness, youthful softness to the angular curves.

Beautiful forehead, my favourite place to kiss. And press myself to.

Brows low, very precise—too serious most of the time.

Hairline like the ocean, framing the sand and sometimes sweeping over it.

You twirled the forever loose curl that hung forward, always draping against his smooth skin. He wanted to lean into your touch, but his attention was on the page.

Hair long, softer than any silk. Golden—not like honey, but wheat fields blowing in the breeze. And thick, with lazy waves throughout it.

You stayed quiet after that, hoping it was enough. You were all warm throughout now, despite how the evening had fallen over you two. You wanted to climb back into Adrian’s lap, but instead you moved to sit cross legged, toying with a loose thread on his pants, twisting the string from the seam by his knee around your finger until his shoulders dropped and the pen stopped moving.

You let your hands rest in your lap, and you watched him study it for a long moment. You wanted to ask if it was okay—some version of him he could agree with, yet he brought the pen back, scrawling something in his tight, professional handwriting and tearing the page from the book with precision.

The drawing took up one corner, the words printed in the background barely noticeable to the bust drawn over them. He folded the piece of paper, once, then twice. A tiny square sitting in his palm, before Adrian finally met your gaze. He reached out, cool fingertips grazing over your neck as he brought your heart shaped locket to sit in his other palm. He used his thumb to open it, placing the piece of paper inside and closing it again.

He kissed the smooth metal before letting it fall back against your sternum, smiling with a haziness that made you feel drunk of love as well. You took his hand in yours, Adrian quick to intertwine fingers before you could settle your palm to his. He urged you closer, uncrossing his legs and letting you take up space between them. “Do you feel better?” You hummed, the pain that had overcome him before not leaving your mind.

It wasn’t like you to forget so easily.

“Hm, better? Yes.” He nodded, pressing a kiss to the side of your nose.

“Are you just saying that?”

“No, of course not.”

“I find that hard to believe, you often dwell in pain my dear. Especially alone.”

“I know,” He sighed yet again, bringing his free hand to your chin and drawing your attention to him. “If you’d like, I believe I have found a way that you can help, make me feel better.”

“Yes, what is it?”

He smiled—heartbreakingly. “Marry me?”

For a quiet beat, you paused, the words reaching your ears, settling in your short term memory before they processed into something that rang forever in your head. You and Adrian had talked about marriage, he had settled on the notion it was a frivolous display and he had everything he needed with you. And you agreed. He was everything you needed.

And now, he needed to be your husband.

You tucked some of his hair behind his ear, leaning in with a low voice, “My love, don’t you know?” You asked, blinking up with a slanted grin, “I’ve been married to you from the moment we met.” He breathed out a chuckle, reedy and low.

“Then,” His palms cupped your cheeks, forehead pressing into yours. “Let me marry you.”

“Yes,” You breathed into him, “Yes you can marry me.”

-

It was the first day of winter when you finally opened your locket. You unfolded his drawing carefully, the likeness you wanted to convey hung in every inked line. Your fiancé existed in both your hearts now.

Your fingers brushed over the words, creased from the folding, but still clear.

It’s always you, my betrothed.

#adrian tepes x reader #adrian tepes imagine #alucard imagine #alucard x reader #castlevania imagine #castlevania #writing #if this doesnt get notes ill boycott writing for all of 2021

[drxwsyni]

Pumpkin Pie

Pairing: Yandere Dabi x f!Reader

Summary: With the fall season upon you, a longing settles as you yearn for the seasonal festivities. Unable to let you go, Dabi decides to bring the autumn warmth to you from the safety of his apartment.

a/n: I really can’t excuse my unhealthy obsession for fall and soft!yan dabi, this is just a byproduct of that.

Here’s the pumpkin pie recipe I referenced, along with the string lights I had in mind. Also feel free to listen to a soft yan dabi playlist I made while reading!

4.5k words

Warnings: unhealthy relationship, captivity, stockholm syndrome

_____

If you pressed your hand to the glass of the window, you’d be able to feel the chill of fall seeping through it. Cold to the touch, letting you know that the visual of warm reds, oranges and yellows against the trees were accompanied by the drop in temperature.

Whether you were thankful for it or not, such a frigidness did not occupy your space, fought off by the heat that Dabi provided. Nestled into the window seat, you were curled up under a blanket in his apartment. A small and discrete complex, nothing shabby in the slightest, nestled on the edge of town.

Eyes following the movements of nature outside, you could see the rustle of the trees, wind blowing and stirring fallen leaves on the ground. Perhaps you would open a window, listen to the howling against it’s frame, hear the tumbling of foliage below you. But, you knew the window was locked, the glass not pure and fragile, instead being clear acrylic that wouldn’t break no matter what you did.

How you longed to feel that fall breeze on your skin, the goosebumps it would bring only a welcomed sensation. To have the leaves crinkle underneath your feet, breaking apart and scattering along the pavement. Sure, from where you sat, you could take in the view of the autumnal changes for as long as you wanted, ease the ache with it’s scenery from one spot.

Only, that’s not what you wanted.

Seeing was nothing like feeling. And right now, all you felt was the stagnant air of your shared bedroom. It was warm, unmoving. No sounds of outside life carried through the apartment, such a thing completely shut out by locked doors and sealed windows.

The smell, however―it wasn’t exactly one of desired freedom, but you couldn’t deny that it was strangely fitting for the season. Like burnt wood, smokey and subduing. Dabi always carried a certain scent that honestly wasn’t quite one you minded. Even his cologne complimented the natural air of something distinctly smouldered. Not overpowering, and not something to be hated.

But right now, the way it went hand in hand with the fall aura―it only shot a pang of sadness through your heart. The worst part about it was that you couldn’t quite place where such a sensation came from.

Because even after everything that happened between you and Dabi, what he’d done to you, you couldn’t bring yourself to detest the man.

Dabi never hurts you, he loves you wholeheartedly, a passion reserved to be put on full display in your presence. He’d do anything for you, if it meant you’d be safe―if it meant you’d feel loved (by him, of course). His unwavering gentleness he used on you, and only you was the sole reason you found it difficult to explain why you felt such distress.

That painful seed planted in your being had been growing for weeks now, you none the wiser as to how to get it to pass. It didn’t do anything to make you want to abandon Dabi, to have you seeking an escape from his fortified protection.

What it did do was slowly overtake your mind, drowning you in its suffocating disquietness, leaving you less responsive with each passing day.

You’d been with Dabi since the end of last winter, and not seeing much point in denying the comfort he brought, or rather not being able to, it didn’t take long to adopt a certain complacency. That didn’t mean you were overjoyed to be stuck in his apartment though. Not even close, in fact. By now you were just used to it, existing in its space because it was the only thing you could do.

And yet in these few passing weeks, the small routine you’d formed had slipped into the dark cloudiness of the back of your mind, your once somewhat lively behaviour dulled down in the presence of an invisible weight.

You let yourself go to the unsettling and energy leeching feeling, not even noticing it was sapping all of your motivation to do much of anything.

Naturally though, Dabi was keenly aware of the change in your behaviour.

When you started sleeping in a little longer, he didn’t think twice about it. Thought maybe you needed the extra shut eye, hoping it would make you feel better. Each day you stayed in bed a little longer, and eventually he realized you weren’t even sleeping―just mindlessly staring out the window.

You gave a noncommittal response when he questioned you on it. Something stirred inside of you at the worried look in his eyes, the knit in his brows as he sat on the edge of the bed, you still under the heavy covers.

In that moment, the two of you were polar opposites.

Confused at the way his concern made you feel, but quickly moving on once he left you to your devices. And Dabi, remaining fixated on your lack of response, knowing exactly what was wrong despite the few words you offered him.

Since that day, he never bothered to ask you what in particular seemed to be getting you down. Instead, he did what he could to be there for you. Praising you for any small accomplishments, helping you take care of yourself. And, of course, giving you all the affection you could possibly need.

But even then, no amount of reassurances and gentle embraces altered your quieted mood.

While you felt less and less with each day, only the indescribably pit in your stomach a tangible emotion, Dabi grew more conflicted.

He couldn’t let you go out.

It pained him to no ends seeing you like this―suddenly a dull shell of a human that you used to be. And he was trying everything he could think of to make you feel better, yet still it was all for naught. He knew that you wanted to go outside, the one thing he couldn’t give you. Even though you’d been exceptionally good for him, it still wasn’t time for that to happen.

You weren’t stepping foot outside of his apartment anytime soon, which meant that there was no chance you’d be able to seek the environment that was causing you such anguish.

But, that didn’t mean he couldn’t bring the fall festivities to you.

_____

Right now, it seemed your only routine consisted of getting lost in the passing day outside, curled up on the window seat as usual. Nothing was ever out of the ordinary like this.

So when the aroma of fresh baked goods wafted into the room, it stood out like a sore thumb.

The sounds of clinking utensils and shuffling in the kitchen normally faded into the background in your mind of wandering thoughts. Only now, the sound held a distinct forefront in your senses, sparking curiosity inside you.

Body moving on its own, your sock clad feet landed on the floorboards as you rose from your seat, abandoning the view from the window in favour of seeking that of the kitchen. You felt a little hesitant, more unsure of whether you really cared enough to find out what was happening, when you could just as easily resume your long houred and mindless behaviour.

However, whatever was baking in the oven had a stronger hold on you than the outside world at the moment.

Creaking at the hinges, the bedroom door opened as you pushed past it, following the strangely comforting scent. Padding down the hallway, you soon met your destination, now coming face to face with whatever commotion had prompted you to venture this far.

Your curious eyes landed upon Dabi’s figure, rummaging through a brown paper grocery bag, pulling out the items and setting them on the countertop. Likely heading for the drawer behind him, he turned only to find you, standing just a small distance away.

Examining your face, he found that even just slightly, it held a peak of interest―the most you’d shown in nearly a month.

“Well hey there, sweets. What brings you around these parts?”

Wordless, your gaze drifted to the oven, a warm and low light shining through the glass panel of the door. A little nervously, your hands fiddled in front of you, not really knowing what to say.

That you forgot what fresh baked goods smelled like, and whatever was in the oven was literally making your mouth water?

In that low and raspy voice of his, Dabi chuckled a little to himself, resuming the task at hand. “Smell good? Hope it does―I haven’t got a single goddamn clue if I made the pie crust right.” Speaking through his actions, he grabbed a few measuring cups and spoons, shutting the drawer and making his way back to the counter with ingredients splayed across it haphazardly.

Once again, your curiosity got the better of you. “You’re making pie?”

Without looking at you, Dabi smoothly replied in a teasing tone. “Pumpkin pie―for my pumpkin.” At that he shot you a cheeky wink, the unanticipated comment causing your cheeks to heat up.

Seeing how just that brief sentiment already had you speechless for the moment, he continued.

“Come help me, make sure I don’t fuck this up, yeah?” Waiting for a response, he rested a hand on the counter, a small smile quirked on his lips.

It could’ve been how the pie crust’s aroma was quite literally tantalizing, or just that you didn’t want to deal with trying to negotiate your way out of this―but something inside of you didn’t want to let this strange chance for a heartwarming fall festivity go.

“Yeah, okay...I guess.”

Looking satisfied at your words, but not too much (he did have to try and contain his excitement after all), Dabi simply gave you a nod. “Good, go wash your hands then, squirt.”

Without another word, he began rooting through the ingredients and utensils once again, expecting you to heed his words.

And heed his words you did, making your way to the sink and soaking your hands in the warm water and soap. Drying yourself off, you stepped up to the counter where he was at, seeing all the things on display and at the ready.

Dabi had a printed out recipe propped up against a bag of flour, visible smudges of the substance lingering on the paper’s edges. Looking down, you saw that the pumpkin puree was already in a mixing bowl, the cans they came in nowhere to be seen.

“Think you can crack some eggs for me?” Reaching for the open carton, he handed you said eggs in question.

One at a time, you cracked three of them open against the edge of the bowl, doing your best not to get any shells in the mixture. While you were at it, Dabi got the brown sugar ready, a pleased smile threatening to grow as he watched you comply, you even behaving quite eagerly with night he’d set up for the both of you.

Just as if everything in the world was right, and the circumstances for you being there with him wasn’t as dark as you once recalled it out to be, the two of you settled into a comfortable air. You, relaxed as Dabi helped you measure out ingredients, a certain light in your eyes as you completed each step. And of course, the bubbling adoration he felt continued to simmer in his chest as you became more engrossed with something as simple as baking a pumpkin pie with each passing second.

The ingredients were slowly added to the bowl, Dabi laughing a little when you fussed over making sure you put in the proper amount of cinnamon, shooting down his idea to just eyeball it instead. When everything was finally in, the counter dusted with spices and cornstarch, you started whisking it together.

Or, well...you tried to, at least.

You huffed as the bowl kept sliding across the counter, you unable to hold it in place and stir at the same time.

Of course, Dabi found your little frustrated pout downright adorable. But for fear of you giving up and retiring to your room, he managed to find it in himself to help you.

As he sidled up behind your struggling form, you tensed slightly, only because you weren’t expecting the contact. Semi-scarred arms wrapped around you, Dabi peering over your shoulder with your back pressed into his chest. He gripped the bowl with both hands, pressing a quick light and chaste kiss onto the side of your head.

“Try it now.”

Once again following his instructions, you stirred the bowl’s contents in a circular motion, Dabi’s assistance greatly appreciated as you whisked it all together with ease. Not too much time later, the wet and dry ingredients were perfectly incorporated, creating a thick and reddish-brown, spice speckled mixture. You finished up your work with a tired but satisfied sigh, earning a proud “Atta girl,” from behind you.

Right in time for the oven to go off, Dabi reluctantly pulled away from you, taking his unique sense of heat with him. In oven mitt clad hands, he pulled out the halfway baked pie crust and set it upon the towel lined counter.

“Alright, scooch―don’t need you burning yourself.”

Not really knowing what else to do, you let Dabi take the reins as he poured the pumpkin filling into the pan, inserting it back into the oven and setting the timer for an hour. With that, he dusted his hands off on his black sweatpants, regrettably eying the mess the two of you had made.

For the first time that night, you spoke up before he did. “I guess...we should probably clean up a little?”

Dabi smiled, “...Guess we should.”

Falling into an unconscious routine you once knew, one you’d go through in a time before meeting Dabi, you moved about the kitchen and tidied up after yourself. You wiped down the counter and put everything away as he cleaned and rinsed the bowls and measuring cups, setting them on the drying rack. When the two of you were done, there was still roughly thirty or so minutes of time left for the pie to bake.

Hanging up a cup towel, you just barely got it on a hook before a set of hands spun you around by your hips. In the same motion, Dabi pushed you towards the counter’s edge, hoisting you up on its surface. Before you could get a word out, he was peppering your face in ghosted kisses, hands creeping up underneath your shirt and squeezing playfully at your waist.

A quiet fit of pleasantly confused giggles erupted from you, squirming in his grasp. You could feel the grin on Dabi’s face against your skin as he remained unrelenting with the sudden wave of affection, not budging as you not so seriously pushed against his broad chest. His body now slotted in between your legs, a hand left your waist in favour of cupping your cheek, before bringing you into a deep and passionate kiss.

Being so caught up in putting all your effort into sporadically baking pie on this dreary autumn evening, you didn’t even realize that the strange inexplicable feeling that had gripped you for weeks on end was slipping. Losing its hold on you more and more as Dabi’s lips moved against yours, arm circling around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer.

When he finally did part from you, a hint of a blush could be made out on his cheeks, you feeling a similar warmth in yours at the sudden intimacy displayed by the cremation user.

Noticing your mildly shocked expression, he let out a breathy exhale that could almost be excused as a laugh. “Sorry―couldn’t resist…”

You stayed where you were, only looking to the side, a little embarrassed yourself. “S’fine, I didn’t mind.” It wasn’t like he’d never done something like that before after all, it in fact paling in comparison to some of the other things you’d done with him during the dead of night.

He knew that just as much as you, but even after all this time, feeling you against him never failed to send a surge of yearning emotions through him. Such a sensation he found himself unable to replicate anywhere else, that not mattering when he would ever want to experience it if it wasn’t with you.

In an attempt to diffuse your clear sheepishness, Dabi slinked away, headed for the other side of the kitchen. “Got something for you,” he said matter of factly. Returning to your form perched on the countertop, he settled a grey and weighted plastic bag on your lap.

You gave him an inquisitive look, finding a spark of confidence deep inside you to poke at his intentions. “What’s the occasion?” Fingers carefully delving into the bag, you tore your eyes from his strikingly blue ones.

He took his place back in between your legs, leaning against the counter while observing you closely. “Didn’t know I needed a reason to give you a gift.”

Peering into the bag, you spoke while reaching for its contents. “Well...I guess you don’t, s’just kinda sudden is all.”

Dabi let out a low hum in response, the noise reverberating in his chest. “Just―hurry up and take a look, would’ya?”

Finding humour in his insistence, you softly shook your head, the corner of your lip drawing upwards. Not wanting to leave either of you waiting any longer, you pulled out a small cardboard box, about the size of your hand. Studying it a little more closely, you came to realize what it contained―string lights.

Looking through the sheer plastic panel, you could see the ropes of wires, all adorned with tiny LED lights encased in clear plastic maple leaves. Reds, oranges and yellows shone back at you when you pressed the test button on the outside of the box, its light illuminating both of your faces.

With a slight change in tone, leaning more towards a gentle reassurance, Dabi spoke when the silence continued to linger. “Figured you could put them around the window in our bedroom, or something…”

For a moment, you let the warm light cascade across the both of your features, eyes sparkling at the wonderful display of ambiance. You quickly got lost in its glow, a foreign object pulling you in and keeping you entranced.

Dabi however was growing a tad bit antsy, not being able to fully read your reaction. Always one to take matters into his own hands, at least when it came to you, he gently prompted you to hop off the counter. “C’mon, doll―why don’t you go hang ‘em up?”

Deep down, you could feel the stirring of appreciation building inside of you, genuinely moved at this little gift. So, you made no actions to stop him as Dabi helped you down, taking you by the hand and leading you to the bedroom. You watched patiently, if not quite enraptured as he pulled out the string lights from the box, unraveling them carefully. He set the cardboard container aside on the nightstand, motioning with a wave of his hand for you to join him near the window.

Hands slightly shaky, you worked to pin up the lights around the window’s frame. Dabi snickered to himself behind you when you jumped as he tried to steady you, hands suddenly grasping your hips as you stood on the seat trying to reach the top of the window. A little irked at his shameless actions, you sent him a tiny, unserious glare over your shoulder, only earning a knowing grin from him.

When everything was said and done, you stood back and flicked the switch, letting the mostly dimmed room be bathed in the comfortable glow it emitted. The illuminated leaves bounced off the reflective window, speckling it with even more light.

Oddly, in a way you couldn’t quite explain, the sight resonated nicely inside of you. Standing in its view, you didn’t even realize that a small smile had overtaken your expression. No words needed to be said to tell him that you were more pleased than you thought you’d be with the gift―not when the look on your face, how your eyes roamed over the decorations in awe told him all he needed to know.

Just as he was about to unleash a cheesy but loving sentiment upon you, the timer for the oven rang out, the both of you turning your heads with the sound.

From where you stood, the scent of the freshly baked dessert smelled amazing.

...If only it looked just as good.

It was your turn to laugh this time, Dabi sighing as he took the pie from the oven. To be honest, you weren’t entirely surprised to find that the crust was burnt to a degree that wouldn’t likely be edible.

Although, it would seem Dabi wasn’t very much shocked at the sight either. After setting the pan down on the counter, he walked over to the fridge, running a hand through his dark locks at the same time. “Kinda figured I’d find a way to fuck it up―I thought you were supposed to keep that from happening?”

You swung your legs as they failed to touch the floor from your seat, “I think it would’ve ended like that regardless…”

In any case, he certainly wasn’t going to let the high spirits die down, especially now that he had you acting a little more like yourself. So, he pulled Plan B from the fridge.

Another pumpkin pie was set down in front of you, pre-made, with a can of whipped cream on the side.

“Well, I hope you’ll take a store bought one. Probably better than anything I could come up with anyways.”

_____

The pie he picked up on the way home turned out to be just fine, and Dabi was glad that he took that precaution. Especially now that you were back to being curled up on the window seat, because this time you weren’t alone.

You let him join you, pulling you into his lap and wrapping you in a soft blanket. It had started to rain outside, and what would normally bring a dreary atmosphere only made him want to hold you closer.

Yes, maybe Dabi did turn down the heat in the apartment just so you’d gravitate towards him, but you didn’t need to know that. Not when you were so perfectly wrapped in his arms, the warm hues of the string lights surrounding you, a comforting lingering of the pumpkin aroma hanging in the air.

He would've loved for you to start a conversation, but Dabi knew that was unlikely to happen. Ever since he found you coming to terms with your situation with him, you grew considerably quiet. Painfully so in these past few weeks, not many words graced your lips. It was why the events of this afternoon meant so much to him.

For the first time in a long time, his actions seemed to be getting through to you. Even just this morning, the fleeting kiss he pressed into your cheek didn’t do all that much to earn a reaction. And yet, here you were now practically melting into his embrace.

As much as he wanted to bask in the ways you were coming around to him once again in such a short matter of time, the returned silence between the two of you was unsettling on his part. He could tell there was a still remaining sense of happiness inside you from the night's activities, and you were likely satisfied with what had unfolded.

But Dabi wasn’t―not quite yet.

“...You know I love you, right?”

The seconds that ticked by without a reply from you felt like hours in his mind. Though eventually you did respond, offering a small nod in understanding to his question.

Dabi brought a hand to the crown of your head, smoothing down your hair in soothing motions as he continued. “You asked what the occasion was...s’cause I just wanna see you happy.”

He hadn’t brought up his concerns with you since you more or less shut down in front of his eyes, for fear that pushing you would only make you resent him more. Yet now, in the comfort of feeling you lean into him, patiently letting him unload his worries upon you, his will to contain such feelings weakened.

“I wanna make you feel loved, but it’s hard when you shut me out.”

Something painful tugged in your chest as you heard him let out a shaky breath, the arm around you tightening its hold.

“I know I can’t give you what you really want, but I’m not just gonna watch you disappear on me either.”

Despite his words notioning to a past that would normally bring about anguish, the unbridled adoration laced into his tone made you look past all of that. It sounded strange, such promises coming from someone so harsh and gravely, but it only made it all the more sweeter. Because you knew he was only like that with you, telling you in ways that words could never describe just how much you meant to him.

In truth, you found it hard to decide on what to say―what he wanted to hear, while also being your truth at the same time. For reasons you couldn’t quite comprehend, the words on your tongue that you wanted to repeat back at him, those he’d told you countless times before―you couldn’t force them out. Call it shyness, but in the end it didn’t matter.

For now, you could only say what you were confident in. “Thank you for tonight, I-I had a lot of fun…”

If you looked hard enough, you’d be able to see how his features softened at your bashfully spoken admittance, his face illuminated by the string lights and reflecting in the window panes. Only, the fact that you were shyly burrowing your face into his chest ruined that chance, you bringing the blanket further up your body.

Even if he did want to hear more of your voice, Dabi was now more than satisfied with what he was given. He knew of the words you couldn’t tell him, reading it in the way you let him hold you, how you sought out a warmth that only he could provide. And really, there was more than enough time for you to work up the courage you lacked at the moment.

You weren’t going anywhere, and neither was he. While although the seasons outside continued to change, his love for you would always remain the same. Unfaltering, never withering as you only made those feelings grow more, if that was even possible.

Dabi made a note that he’d try to bring to you all the things you longed for from the safety of his home. Hopefully, that would be enough. And judging by how well tonight's festivities were received, he could take a guess that it was only a matter of time until you’d make it out of this seasonal funk you were in.

Choosing now to simply enjoy having you so close, Dabi resolved that his efforts were a success. He joined you in gazing out the window, the rain falling in steady streams and washing away the fallen leaves of the day.

“Anytime, doll.”

#yandere dabi #yandere dabi x reader #yandere mha #yandere bnha #yandere my hero academia #yandere bnha x reader #yandere x you #yandere writing #tw stockholm syndrome #tw unhealthy relationship #tw captivity

[balkanradfem]

I was on the fence about weather to write about this or not, because it feels insensitive on one level, and because I know my perspective on this won't be shared by majority, but I am going to do it. I'm going to write a positivity post about weight gain. If this is something you don't want to read, you've been warned.

So if you've been following me for a while, you might remember last summer I was struggling with eating enough, because I didn't have a lot of money for food, and I was too chronically exhausted to make a meal from garden food every day; this actually got worse this year when due to covid I stopped going outside alltogether, I got very malnourished and weak. During this summer however, I grew three times more food than last year, and found a way to can about 60 jars of food despite still being exhausted; there was a food panic and doing this felt meaningful, important and life-sustaining. And finally, by this end of autumn, I got my lost weight back!

It's obvious my perspective on this isn't universal; by being a mentally ill woman without a job who got her hand on community garden slot as a way of getting food, I invoked back the rules of the old world: Looking well fed to me is once again, a sign of prosperity, skill and successful survival. That being said, I absolutely hated being malnourished and it made me feel scared to live in my own skin. I can understand the urge for it, because I've lived in this world enough to be brainwashed into wanting it, to even strive for it in the past. But living apart from m*n for a long enough period has woken me up to the sad reality of it: You become weak and breakable. It makes low energy levels worse. It makes you look like an easy target for violence – I got targeted way more after I lost weight, by predators in public no less, because I looked like someone easy to subjugate and overpower.

I felt breakable and endangered, possibly because I've been thru a lot of violence in my life and learned how important it is to be able to defend. I was too weak to successfully work out, and avoided looking at myself because it was scary seeing even a single bone; I think bones should not be poking out of bodies and skeletons should be safely concealed from human sight, I would be pleased if my collarbones disappeared altogether as I do not enjoy being reminded of my skeletal structure; it can stay a secret. I'm not naturally meant to be thin, I realized it can only happen if I'm starving and it's very off-putting. So these are all the benefits I noticed came with gaining weight back:

Feeling bigger and stronger. Looking less vulnerable and breakable. Feeling safer and more comfortable in my skin.

Being able to gain good muscles without losing weight or overstraining myself

Better energy levels, more enjoyment out of life

Looking healthy and having a nice round face!

Not getting upset about the skeletal secrets being revealed anymore

Being safe from starvation, knowledge that if a food panic arises I will stand more chance with more weight on, and ability to grow my own food.

Not being so damn cold in winter! Last winter I had to wear all the warm shirts I own and was still cold outside, it was pissing me off so much! Ability to keep your body warm in cold is a huge benefit of weight

Rise of confidence, since I get very weak for strong-looking, heavy women, getting closer to that gives me a great boost

No longer being looked at by shallow, vain-oriented humans. I like being able to pre-eliminate all appearance based bigots out of my way.

Clothes fitting better. I hated seeing clothes hanging from my body, felt like I was dying

And I guess, the last is good and bad, because, ugh, I was okay before, with my breasts kinda deflated so I could sleep on my stomach, which is a convenient way to sleep, and it's nice that they look plump and healthy again, but my stomach sleep? I can't do it now. Boo. Remains to be the biggest con of weight gain, but not bad enough not to do it, you know? At least I'm being super warm being curled up in fetal position which is my second favourite way to sleep.

So with all of this, I hope none of us gets cold this winter! And it's possible to be healthy weight even on plant based, mostly healthy diet (I did eat lots of tortilla pancakes and its good I did.)

#tw weight gain #weight positivity #radfem #radical feminism #feminism

[mage-ellie]

Let Me Hold you

Someone please stop me from watching sad Akechi videos on youtube. They just make my heart hurt ;;  Wrote this in like an hour so it isn't the greatest, but I had to get it out of my system hfasdkjfk. I've been dreaming about him a lot recently. I love him too much hhh. Sorry for disappearing on here. I’ve been focusing on my Akechi x reader book so I haven’t been doing any oneshots, but I needed a break so expect a few Akechi oneshots!

Akechi x fem!reader book: Click me!

Original post: Click me!

Work count: 1273

Content: Mild angst, fluff, cuddling, established relationship, 3rd semester Akechi.

The slight squeak of the front door to your apartment opening prompted you to lift your head, glancing at the man in the tan peacoat who was entering, carrying that famous briefcase of his. His eyes immediately landed on your form, which was comfortably splayed out on the couch in front of the TV. Even though you were so far away from him, you could see the exhaustion on his face. There were dark bags under his eyes and his shoulders were slumped.

"Welcome home Goro." You mumbled sleepily, happy that he had finally returned. He had gotten home later than usual today.

"Good to be home." He hummed, hanging up his peacoat on the coat rack and removing his shoes, leaving them by the door. Goro swiftly approached you to join you on the couch to watch some late night television, but he stopped before he sat. "Do you have to take up the entire couch?" He sighed, giving you an exhausted look. Those kinds of looks from him used to intimidate you at first, but at this point, you were pretty sure that you had him figured out. His harsh tone and annoyance filled words had no effect on you.

"Come here." You said, rolling onto your back and opening your arms to him, beckoning him to lay on top of you so you could cuddle. He just frowned slightly and narrowed his eyes, looking like he wasn't having any of it.

"Y/n please move. I'm not in the mood." He said, despite the fact that he was staring intensely at your open arms. 

"Pretty please." You responded, smiling up at him and opening and closing your hands. "I want to cuddle." You pleaded, giving him your best puppy eyes. That tired glare never left his face as he continued to stare down at you. Although, his crimson eyes darted from one of your hands to the other.

"I'm not asking again. Move or I'll go watch TV in our room." He rebuked, any remaining patients of his seeming to be gone. He wasn't the only one who was running out of patience. Despite the furrowing of his eyebrows, the narrowing of his eyes, and the frown that graced his lips, you could see the longing glittering in his striking maroon eyes. You loved him dearly, but even you could only handle his hardass attitude for so long before giving up.

"Damn it Goro. Come here." You commanded, tired of the tough guy act he often tried to use on you. The look in his eyes made it obvious to you that he wanted to join you, but that insecure part of him that thought you didn't mean what you said was still holding him back from expressing what he wanted. You didn't like snapping at him, but it usually did the trick to get the fact that you meant what you said through the thick fog of insecurity and fear that clouded his heart.

The young detectives eyes widened and his pupils dilated, a brief look of shock colored his face before he moved to do what you said. He carefully climbed on top of you and laid himself over your body, pressing his face against the crook of your neck. You arched your back, pushed your chest into his as he wrapped his arms around your back, squeezing you with an iron grip. You hooked your right leg around his waist and laid your left legs over his, touching as much of his body as you could.

You carefully threaded your fingers through his hair, gently untangling it and massaging his scalp with one hand, and ran your other hand up and down his spine. Goro couldn't hold back the soft hum of contentment that vibrated from his throat. He nuzzled your neck softly as you leaned your head against his, occasionally kissing him.

"Sorry." He breathed against your neck, making you shiver slightly. Both of your hands stopped moving after he spoke due to the small amount of shock that filled your veins. His apology had caught you off guard. "I'm trying." He said softly, curling up his body slightly. You could feel your heart shatter in your chest. You knew that he was trying, although occasionally, you had to give him a push to get him to where he wanted to be.

"It's okay." You hummed in his ear, clinging to him tighter than you were a moment ago. Even though there were still moments where his insecurities won, he was doing a lot better than when you first became a couple. You recalled him still attempting to be princely, despite the fact that you knew his true self. "I love you Goro." You finished, going back to playing with his hair and rubbing his back.

"I love you too." He huffed into your shoulder, words muffled by your shirt and neck.

Time flew by as you held Goro with all your might, reveling in the warmth his body provided in the cold air of your apartment. The soft mumbling of whatever was playing on your TV drowned out your sense of time as you savored this moment. Before you knew it, it was nearly midnight, and Goro had work in the morning.

"We should head to bed soon." You mumbled, shaking Goro slightly since you were pretty sure he had fallen asleep. All he did was grumble in response, not even attempting to move. "Goroooo." You groaned and attempted to shimmy yourself out from under him. You managed to roll on your side, but he slid behind you and curled his body around yours, trapping you in the little spoon position. 

One of Goro's arms was hooked around your waist, the other was pressed against your chest, keeping you firmly pressed against him. As nice as this position was, you wanted to lay down on your comfortable bed. The couch was starting to hurt your back.

"Goro please." You groaned again, slapping a hand against his thigh and struggling a bit.

"You're the one who wanted to cuddle." He teased, clinging to you like his life depended on it. He was gripping handfuls of your shirt, locking you in place.

"We can continue cuddling in bed. I'm getting sore." You mumbled, twisting in his arms and wiggling a bit. Finally, you managed to sit up with Goro still holding onto you. You pulled the young man off the couch with you and nearly fell over when he didn't immediately stand on his own two legs. For a moment, he pressed his entire weight against you, making you squeak before he got his footing. You both shuffled to your shared bedroom, Goro keeping his arms around you the entire time.

Once you reached your bed, you climbed in, pulling the touch starved boy with you. You both collapsed onto the plush mattress, bouncing a bit before you settled under the sheets. Goro let go for only a second as he pulled the blankets up to your shoulders. During that second, you rolled over and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your face into him. You gently planted a kiss on his neck as he once again pulled you closer to him. 

"Goodnight Y/n." He said softly, pressing his lips against your head.

"Goodnight Goro." You responded, tangling your fingers into his hair. The scent of cinnamon and autumn filled your nose as you drifted into the blissful abyss. The soft pressure of Goro's lips against your face was the last thing you felt before your consciousness faded.

#goro akechi #goro akechi x reader #goro akechi lives #gender neutral #fluff #cuddling #mild angst #persona 5 #persona 5 royal

[downywrites]

if you're willing, i have a prompt i'd like to see you write maybe, if you want!

bench trio focused fic, with lee!tommy and ler!tubbo and ranboo! tommy's just feeling a mixture of bored and sad, and he keeps getting lost in his thoughts, which never turns out well. so he goes to tubbo and ranboo to hang out with them, which they're fine with. but they suggest like, doing something simple, and while tommy would usually be fine with that, it gives him too much time to think.

so he starts harassing tubbo and ranboo, trying to get them to distract him without saying that At All. and one (or both) of them gets fed up with tommy and tickles him a Little Bit to get him to stop. and tommy realizes that like... while he's being tickled, he's not Thinking! and it's always been comforting and nice and everything but he really just wants to stop thinking and lose himself to tickling.

so he keeps provoking, trying to get what he wants. but his friends keep stopping just as he starts to reach the point without thinking, and it's infuriating to tommy. so after they back off like the fifth time, tommy groans loudly, like. visibly frustrated. maybe crying a little. and tubbo and ranboo are worried, because they didn't think they went too far, but he's upset, but they thought he liked gentle tickles, but --

and tommy just forces himself to explain. poorly, because he can't say the t-word, and doesn't want to actually fully ask for it, but he's like "i don't want to think! i don't want to be thinking!!" and tubbo and ranboo are like ;-; and agree to just annihilate him. like "oh, tommy, don't worry... we'll tickle you until you forget your own name~" and decimate him. and tommy just loses himself to the tickly haze and teasing and eventually after a while he taps out, and they cuddle and he feels safe and head foggy and it's. soft.

fhsjjd that's a lot and i'm very sorry, but i am just. feeling so much. these guys make me so soft i am... yes.... fjsjjf your writing is so good thank u for my life!! ~🍄

I simplified this prompt quite a bit, haha. Bird tried their best. Hope you like it. (Bird is very tired. If this doesn’t make sense, please blame the monster energy.)

Bench trio focused fic- tommy is sad-bored and wants a distraction ft clueless!beeduo

Tick. Tock. The sound of Tommy’s clock pierced the silence of his house. The noise of the old redstone contraption chafed at his already waning sanity, making the boy growl lowly under his breath. The soft screeching of the rusty mechanical parts made him feel as if his entire body was on edge, tense like a bowstring pulled taut before a duel. He sighed in frustration, throwing his bedcovers to the side and pulling himself out of the warm bedsheets. He snatched a torch from the outside of his house and walked outside, wobbling a little on his feet from the speed at which he moved. He yawned loudly, searching for his two closest friends through his bleary eyes.

“Tubbo? Ranboo? I’m bored, come on!” He grumbled to himself, walking slowly on the wooden walkways as to not make his head swim anymore. His mind filled with traitorous thoughts again, unintentional consequences of being a big man like him. ‘They’ve probably left you. Tubbo loves Ranboo more than you. They are platonically married. You are an outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider…’ He shook his head, dirty blonde locks flopping from side to side and sticking to his face a little as he did so. ‘I can’t think like this. They like me a lot, I know it! They’re probably working on the mansion-’ ‘Yeah, working on the mansion. Without you. Can’t you see it, Tommy? They’re doing it without you. You’re worthless to them. Worthless.’ “Shut up, shut up!” He clutched at his head. His fingers dug deep into his hair, scraping roughly at his scalp. “Shut the fuck up!”

He sunk to one knee, struggling to ignore the whispers and hisses of ‘liar’ and ‘traitor’ in a familiar, mocking voice. He focused on the sound of the birds chirping in the background. The birdsong sounded lyrical, beautiful. Like the sound of his discs. The discs….Did he remember what they sounded like? What did they sound like? The gap in memory made his head hurt even more. ‘I need to find out what they sound like again, I want to know. I need to get to Big T. He knows.’ He put his hands on the ground, wincing at the feeling of small splinters digging into the palms of his hands. He pushed. He felt the air on his back as he got up, shaky on his feet again.

Swears filled the air as he forced his body to move faster than he normally would on a lazy Sunday. His legs ached. Everything ached. Why did it ache again? He didn’t know. He wanted Tubbo. The feelings of melancholy boredom spread to the whole of the server. The bees buzzed quietly, lazing about on the branches of the trees. The plants swayed as if molasses had covered their leaves, dripping smoothly down onto the dirt and made patterns as the cold winds blew them around. The autumn sky, gold and rose and yellow from the rays of the sun that beamed directly overhead, seemed to be an endless canvas that Tommy could not reach, could not touch with his small, battered hands. He exhaled shakily as he ran, footsteps thudding solidly as old, weather shoes made contact with the wood. He ran through fields and flora, looking for familiar ram horns, for familiar black and white skin with the glimmer of a tarnished crown.

Time went by, and he slowed back down to a jog, searching as well as he could through the dense forests he wandered into. “Tubbo? Big T?” He called through his quiet wheezing. “Where are you guys?” The forest did not answer. The trees closed in on him. He curled up on the floor, pulling his bandana over his eyes a little. The fabric became damp. Soft grass hugged him slightly, clinging on to his damp skin as he shivered. He whimpered, curling in on himself more as a chilling wind howled by his face through the trees. “Ranboo….Tubbo..anyone?” His voice was nothing but a whisper now, barely audible through the rustling of the trees. Trembling violently, he cried softly.

“Tommy? Tommy!”

And there was light. He shot upright, gasping for breath. His hair stayed plastered to his face, mussed up and stringy from sweat. He looked through the tangle to see a familiar concerned face. “Tubbo.” “Big T, you were shaking all around! It was so scary! Are you okay?” He nodded, sighing in relief. He pushed his hair aside, sky blue eyes piercingly bright for someone who just woke up. “What happened?” Tubbo tapped his hoof on the ground nervously. He looked at the floor sheepishly, muttering a little under his breath. A moment passed. “Well, you see...we- um…” The glint of a crown caught Tommy’s eye at the doorway.

“We found you passed out in one of the dark oak forests. We weren’t sure what you were doing, but we didn’t think it was safe to leave you out there.” His breath caught. His voice squeaked a little when he spoke. “O-oh.” Much to his comfort, Ranboo said nothing, deciding to arrange some of the books on the shelf. Tommy scanned the room a little, taking in his surroundings a little more. The room looked empty, for the most parts. Things were scattered throughout the area, save for the bed underneath him, which seemed to be..seemed..to..be… “Is this your guys’s bed?!?”

Tubbo and Ranboo burst into raucous laughter. Tubbo sank to the floor, hiccuping slightly and wagging his little tail a mile a minute. Ranboo held it together a little better, hiding his chuckles behind a half-gloved hand. “Pff..yeah. Want to help me organize these books? We need some help putting them in order. And after this, we may need some help furnishing the place.” Tommy nodded. After all, he did end up intruding on them. It would be rude not to return the favor. He carefully extracted himself from the bed, slipping on his shoes haphazardly in a bid to follow him out the door. He hopped on one foot, cursing, as one of the shoes slipped off, obviously requiring some form of lace tying. Ranboo snorted quietly at the boy’s struggle, tails whisking elegantly in his wake. He stepped carefully down the stairs, avoiding the rougher parts of the unpolished stones and wood. He traced the railings with his hand, claws scraping lightly over the waxy coating. As he turned to look at the carvings and smooth wood, Tommy saw a glint of gold on his pitch-colored horn.

A feeling of slight jealousy twinged gently in his chest. He sneered internally at it, batting at it like a younger sibling. ‘Tubbo had his reasons to marry him. It’s not my business.’ His inner voice said otherwise. It whispered hauntingly into his ear. ‘But it is! Tubbo’s your best friend, is he not? Why did he marry someone else other than you? Did he really like you in the first place? Or was it the discs all-’ He shook his head vehemently. ‘No.’ Ranboo paid him no heed. He was busy, after all. So very busy, cleaning up dust carefully from the corners of the bookshelves further below him. He swiped off a speck of dust off his clothing quickly. “You coming or what?” Tommy nodded, hoping that he saw from their perspective down below. He ran down the stairs quickly, cursing a little when he missed a step or two as he went down. Ranboo watched in amusement, tails sweeping the floor as he waited. All the while, Dream’s voice hissed in his ears. ‘Worthless. Liar. He’s not worth it. Kill him.’

Thankfully for Tommy, he was used to phantoms whispering in his ears. Blatantly ignoring the annoying noise, he glared daggers at the tuxedo-covered back in front of him. ‘How do I get rid of this annoying fuck?’ Ranboo failed to notice his heated gaze. “Help us with these books, will you? Tubbo has been arguing with me about the placement for weeks now.” He kneeled down, coaxing his friend to sit down next to him in the pile of scattered books. Tommy’s mind whirled as he sorted them into differing piles. Tubbo and Ranboo’s voices faded in and out. The only voice he could hear the whole time was Dream. And Dream’s voice said things he really didn’t want to hear. He growled lowly under his breath, hoping that his inner voice would shut itself off.

Tubbo bleated in surprise at the small noise. “Big man, you okay? You haven’t been saying anything.” He poked at his side tentatively with a single finger. He yelped, bolt blue eyes widening in shock at the sudden contact. Tubbo grinned, mischief glimmering deep in his eyes. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, pulling his fingers close to himself and forming claws with them. “Oh, Tommy~ I think we could make a little more noise together if I messed with you a wee bit..” Ranboo looked at his platonic husband, then back at the blond-haired boy. “What are we-” And there was the click of recognition. Tommy could recognize that lightbulb moment anywhere. “Oh.” His ears drooped a little, some sort of enderman thing Tommy failed to remember how to translate. He flicked his gaze towards his eyes for the smallest of moments, before looking back down sheepishly. “I-uh, sorry, Ranboo.” The words felt foreign in his mouth. His apology tasted like sawdust, like the breath of a life once forgotten.

He turned away, starting to push himself up. “I’ll see myself out.” A hand grabbed at his shoulder, dulled claws digging in slightly and revealing its owner. “You’re feeling bad.” With a crane of his neck, he saw red-green eyes boring into his soul. “We’re going to help with it, alright?” Ranboo’s voice softened with his grip, waiting for the other’s response. His eyelids fluttered shut without his volition, letting him bask in the blessed darkness for a moment. “If you can.” He was gently brought back down to the ground. He felt himself get draped over someone’s lap, someone gently carding their hands through his hair.

As they did, the strap of Dream’s mask wrapped around his throat. It tightened slowly, stealing his breath, his words. His voice grew near, rough and harsh and tasting like rocks in his mouth when he takes a tumble. He choked on air a little. “Please.” Soft, quiet voices wrapped around him. “Can we start, Toms?” A nod. What else can he say? The pain of speaking was too much. Dream’s wheeze filled his thoughts. He was sinking, sinking...the gentle tracing of a shape on his tummy snapped him back to reality. He opened his eyes blearily, giggling softly. “Hehey…”

“Yes, Toms?” And there he was. Tubbo traced the shape on his tum again, ear twitching as his laughter shifted in intensity and pitch. “Does this make it feel better? I know the voices aren’t making this any easier for you.” He scribbled his fingers over his stomach with the care of a nurse, avoiding the myriad axe scars left from battles with a tyrant he could never win against, not without the rest of the server on his side. “It’s okay, Tommy. Let it out.” He giggled freely, hands coming up to the goat hybrid’s wrists before he could stop them. The young president let them be, choosing to move to his sides and spider his fingers gently over the sensitive skin there.

Tommy bucked softly, trying his best not to dislodge his hands. The feeling helped keep him grounded, just barely. He felt like he was floating, but at least this time he wasn’t floating away. He hung there, frozen in time. The voice had stopped, but he still felt its presence. It sat patiently, waiting for him to fill the holes in his heart with his inventory of memories, tnt in hand. He tensed up, feeling even more helpless than before. Tubbo slowed down, confused. “Do you not want-” “I want- I-I need- “ He stumbled over his words like a child. Frustrated, he tried again. His tongue felt heavy, as if he had swallowed cotton. “I need rougher. Not thinking. Please.” His grip tightened on Tubbo’s wrists. He could feel his friend’s heartbeat, a solid, stable drumming like the march of a thousand men. It sang, like a burbling brook. ‘What do I want?’ His mind felt..wrong. “Please.”

Tubbo complied. “Rougher. Alright. Ranboo?” The enderman vwooped quietly. “Yes?”

“Pin his arms. We need him to be immobilized, he’s a bit of a kicker.” Tommy flushed a little at the statement, mouth opening to retort. Tubbo took the moment to dig into his sides, earning a strangled bark of laughter from his throat. “eHAHA! Tuhubbo!” The hybrid merely flicked his ear at his friend’s words. “Yeah, big man? What do you want, hmm?” Ranboo grabbed at his wrists, pinning them together with one smooth grab. His face burned quietly from the way his claws scratched at his palms unintentionally as he shifted his grip. He turned his head away from the duo, giggles bubbling up from his chest at the embarrassing position. “You ready, Tommlee?”

“Shut the fuHUHUCK UHUP! TUHUHUBBS!” Tubbo wasted no time, pinning him down to the floor with his weight and scribbling his nails over his lower ribs. “Isn’t his tickle laugh so cute, Ranni? It’s so mellow when he’s giggling, but it’s so rough when we’re wrecking his shit!” Ranboo snorted over the din, flicking one of his tails ever so slightly over one of his sides in a low-effort attempt to help his husband. “I mean, that seems pretty normal to me. Imagine having a gentle laugh when you’re being absolutely destroyed.” His deadpan voice hid the faintest trace of a smile in its depths.

Looking at the squirming boy in his hands, he put both of his arms in one hand, using the other to claw at his underarm. Much to his surprise, Tommy squealed loudly, shaking his head vigorously at the sensation. “RAHAHANBOHOO!” He bucked wildly, trying his best to escape the almost torturous feeling in his hollows. Tubbo moved from his lower ribs to his upper ribs, poking and prodding each one to find, as he called it, the ‘scream-button’. Ranboo, emboldened by the blonde’s reaction, rubbed his claws gently over his friend’s neck and ears. He swiped his tail over his exposed tummy and hips, making Tommy squeak through his laughter. “Guhuhuhuhuys- EEE! TUHUBBO, NOHAHAHA!”

Tubbo’s tail wagged happily behind him, shaggy and obviously ungroomed from his incessant cleaning duties in the household. “Found it!” He prodded a spot right beside Tommy’s second and third ribs, scratching lightly at the spot right where the rib bone met the sternum. Tommy all but shrieked in Ranboo’s grasp. The enderman folded back his ears as much as he could, grateful that endermen have the ability to muffle the screams of their own kind (and in turn, other rather loud things that go EEEE in the night).

“So, Tommy, you still hearing them voices?” The blonde shook his head. “NohoHO?!? WAHAHAIT, NAHAHA!” “Tickle tickle! Man, Tommy, you look so cute when you laugh!” His laughter echoed through the mansion, filling each corner and crevice with unbounded joy. Finally, Tommy could take it no longer. He tapped on his arm 3 times, making Tubbo and Ranboo freeze.

Ranboo released his hands as quickly as he could, apologizing when Tommy rubbed at his wrists to get rid of the slight burning sensation deep in the muscles. Sitting up slowly, the blonde panted, smile painted almost permanently on his face. His eyes, dazed but somehow still sharp enough to recognize his two best friend’s equally wide smiles, wandered over the couple’s kneeling forms. Tubbo moved closer to his side, bonking his shoulder playfully with his horns. “So, how’s the voices?”

Tommy looked back at him in blurry-eyed confusion. He tilted his head slightly, matted locks succumbing to gravity ever so slightly. “What voices?” Ranboo chuckled lowly on his other side. “That’s my man.” He slung an arm around his shoulder, purring softly. They sat there in comfortable silence. The sound of wind chimes outside and the gentle crackle of the fireplaces all over the place made the blonde’s eyes close by themselves. He sighed, a noise of contentment in a field of green and blue and yellow and red. “I hope I never wake up from this dream.” And he smiled just a little more when he heard a familiar voice answer, “Me too, Big T.”

“Me too.”

#downywrites #dsmp tickle #mcyt tickle #my writing #lee!tommyinnit #ler!ranboo #ler!tubbo #sfw tickling

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin’s Mini House In Detail 🏡

During the Mini House special events, I obtained all the furnishing items and had already unlocked all the furniture in the home so I thought for Gavin’s Birthday Week, I would share all of the little secrets it contains! 

Gavin has four sections of the house including-

Living Room

Loft 

Courtyard

Basement

This post also includes MC’s commentary and quotes from special happenings associated with Gavin. Special furnishes will have the coziness points indicated next to its name.

Please enjoy! 

Living Room

Soft Stool 

The white soft stool next to the tea table.

This stool is a must when Gavin watches soccer games.

The leather surface is very soft, and its height is just right for watching TV on.

Want to know the trend of the soccer lottery recently? How about asking about it? 

It seemed to have won all the recent games, and is both happy and lonely.

If his favourite team loses, Gavin will sit here alone. (#sad) 

White Sofa 

With so many pillows, you don’t have to worry about having no support behind you.

Is the white sofa difficult to clean? 

The bolsters are very comfortable.

Curled up on the sofa with soft ginkgo aroma.

“Gavin, do you remember what you told me?”

“I just want to be with you, just like this...”

“You still remembered!” 

“I won’t forget what I’ve told you.” 

“Then... Do you have anything you want to tell me this time?” 

Gavin kissed MC’s forehead gently.

- This special happening (Starry Sky) refers to the Furniture City Date!

White Table 

“Gavin’s Pad is placed here too.”

(It has a photo of MC and she says she will change it into the both of them next time.)

“I can add a snack box, but Gavin doesn’t really eat snacks.”

Hallway Cabinet

“Gavin waters the plants regularly.”

“These are often loose change on the cabinet which we can take before going out.”

“The silver ornament is a souvenir I bought when we went to Disneyland.”

The “Wavy Thing”

“I noticed a little “go for it” written on the most recently scrawled page of the notebook.” 

“I found a magazine that puts people to sleep in a second, which was necessary for insomniacs.”

Zoombot 

The black Zoombot.

Today I’m again busy all over the place saving Zoombot.

It’s a bit stupid and often gets stuck after hitting the furniture.

Makes a buzzing sound when working.

You threaten it: If you hang again, I’ll replace you!  

Music Stand

The music stand bought by Gavin.

On it are sheets of music scores printed by Gavin.

It will sometimes think that the small black table next to it is a bit short.

Sometimes Gavin uses in in the hanging chair to record melodies.

Gavin will print the music scores and put them on it to practice.

Flowers on the Wall 

Each flower is carefully selected by Gavin.

The front wall stores a variety of flowers.

The flowers on the entire flower wall are all preserved fresh flowers. 

Black Table and Seat 

Looking at it closely, it is the song that Gavin played last time. (Music score sheet on table.) 

It is also very comfortable with the little black seat cushion next to it.

The soft black cushion stuffed with cotton.

My exclusive seat for Gavin’s recital.

I bought it with Gavin when we were shopping at the furniture market.

Hanging Chair/Rose Hanging Chair (Coziness 88)

A great napping spot.

Here in the Leisure Time special happening, MC and Gavin talk about the swing they had in high school. MC is surprised that Gavin knew about the view of the sunset when being on it. He says he “passed by” sometimes. MC notes how the ginkgo leaves danced in the wind. He says, “they were gifts from another person”.

Heart-Shaped Chair (Coziness 28)

A cute small stool and a convenient storage box.

Gavin’s expression was a bit subtle while he sat on it first.

Alternating blue and pink hearts, as it’s a Valentine’s Day limited edition.

Surfboard Cabinet (Coziness 42)

It’s a new surfboard. Bring it next time we travel.

There are also other surfboards. Guess where they are? 

It says fly on the surfboard, like I can leap through waves with it.

(THEIR CUTE SHOES ARE NEXT TO IT AHHH)

Blue Lamp

A lamp that always blows bubbles from the bottom to top.

It’s beautiful and dreamlike when switched on at night.

Black Table on the Left 

“This looks like the score that Gavin played on the beach last time. I suddenly feel a bit nostalgic.”  - This refers to the Slightly Drunken Date!

“I found a picture of an asleep Gavin. He was sleeping soundly.”

Claw Machine and Carpet 

A dream-like claw machine. Gavin will add new dolls in it.

The inserted game coins can be taken out from the back of the machine and then reused.

A small black carpet in front of the claw machine.

I bought it together with the large carpet.

Red Bunny, White Bunny, Pink Bunny, Red Bunny, Grey Bunny.

Motorcycles 

The blue motorcycle sometimes want to compete with the opposite motorcycle.

The colour of the motorcycle displayed is sky blue. 

Maybe its name will be “Azure”? (because Gavin uses colours to individually name items.) 

Spring Landscape Display 

The landscape has been embedded into the window, like beautiful paintings.

Maybe there is a new world inside.

I can't help stopping to enjoy the view each time I pass.

Is designed for a wider view, improving your mood even when you're tired.

Winter Landscape Display (Coziness 61)

A corresponding landscape should be changed into winter.

Such heavy snow! Frozen river! Unfortunately, they are all fake. 

You can enjoy the red maple leaves and snow even at home, isn’t it wonderful?

Loft 

Painting

This is a word map that covers the entire wall.

Looking at it, Gavin and I have already been to so many places.

If you want to travel, you can find the destination on it in advance.

I'm willing to create memories with him in many more places.

Chandelier

The current iron style design is really cool.

Shines warm yellow when turned on, warming our hearts.

Display Cabinet  

It should have been a wine cabinet, but Gavin doesn’t drink, so it became a display cabinet.

The ‘little things’ between me and Gavin are displayed inside.

It looks empty now, but it will slowly be filled up in the future.

Black Tea Table

A black low table in front of the sofa.

I occasionally work here.

The star and moon deco piece is very beautiful, I picked it with Gavin.

You can put fruits and snacks on it while reading.

The wood texture had a matted quality with the black coat of paint.

Art 

Looks cold but is artistic.

Seems useless, but also seems cool.

Greenery

A corner with blooming flowers all seasons, is warm and restful to the eye.

Outside the window is a huge ginkgo tree, and the fallen leaves are like brocade.

I feel like it’s always spring with all these flowers around.

It compliments the scenery outside the window. (They have a ginkgo tree right outside their home!) 

Cabinet 

Photo framed have karmas from the Starry Date and the Romantic Date!

Decorative Cabinet/Snowman Closet (Coziness 49)

The two little snowmen stared at each other throughout the winter. (Cute little reference to the CN Recovery ASMR.)

It looks like a window at first glance, but it’s actually a cabinet if you look carefully.

And you could open it. Didn’t see that coming right? 

Starry Sky Wall (Coziness 52)

Today’s wish… I hope that Gavin…

I will accompany you to see the meteor rain which falls on this Earth.

Every moment a wish is realised, there will be a meteor streaking across the sky.

Dandelion Lamp (Coziness 43)

The lamp looks exactly like the grapefruit during Mid-Autumn Festival.

Like a burning sparkler, shining brightly.

Six light sources, not too dazzling nor too dark.

Festive Decoration Table (Coziness 57)

Although there are two cups of drinks, we can still drink from the same cup.

The sofa in the corner always makes people feel safe. 

Although we are only two people, I still chose two long couches.

The letter under the ginkgo biloba leaf, writes a love poem.

All the shopping bags represent his most flawless love.

The wide view allows you to see the scenery in the yard.

The soft white mat was added afterwards.

But it’s always hot under the sunlight, so the curtain is often pulled down.

Basement

Security Camera 

You are in a monitored area, please mind your actions.

Bulletproof Glass 

It’s not a normal screen, it’s bulletproof.

It's not often that one gets to see such a cool and HARD-CORE transparent screen.

Anyways, curious what’s in this wall.

Sci-fi glass wall in the movies.

The engraved badge is Gavin’s silent pride.

1-2-3... still shorter than it!

Gingko Tree

Seasons slip by soundlessly.

No matter how small their wishes are, they will become seeds and eventually bloom in gold.

All life’s little joys turned into gold.

It guards the serene life here quietly over in the corner.

(Gavin makes ginkgo bookmarks with them for MC. CRIES.)

Corner Resting Area 

These action figures are actually pretty fun!

The puzzle is all grown up. It should be able to piece itself back together. (LOL)

(Puzzle) Maybe finish it while Gavin’s gone? 

(Table) It sometimes thinks the table is a bit short.

(Chair) It looks hard but it’s actually comfortable to sit on.

Very spacious, but looks a bit empty.

Some decorations should be displayed here.

Sitting on a blanket is also very comfortable. You can also lean on the small pillow. 

(Carpet) This is a carpet. You can’t tell, right? 

The advanced smart carpet that is warm in winter and cool in summer is awesome.

(The book on the table is called ‘Kritik Der Urteilskraft’- The Critique of Judgement by famous German philosopher Immanuel Kant. It follows after the Critique of Pure Reason and the Critique of Practical Reason- the First and Second Critiques, respectively. The Critique of Judgment constitutes a discussion of the place of Judgment itself, which must overlap both the “understanding” and “reason”.)

“You need to take better care of your health.”

“Who was the one working overnight over the proposal the other day?”

“Alright, we’re birds of a feather, so... so both of us should look after ourselves for each other!” 

“Rest assured, I will. After all, it’s different now. I have you by my side.”  -Harmonous Compa Special Happening

Gavin’s Workspace

Accompany Gavin though every sleepless night.

This seems… No, I’m seeing things.

All folders are neatly organised and arranged.

A spacious table, with files and reports spread all over when busy.

I no need to worry about waking up from naps due to cold late at night.

I was reminded of some criminal investigation shows I have watched. Come on, Officer Gavin!

If this complicated case is made into a movie, it will be an exhilarating one. 

(Computer) A customised large-screen UHD model customised for work purpose.

(Computer) Work exclusive computer, only connected to intranet.

(Computer) The three auxiliary monitors can help keep the data safe.

(Chair) If you want to protect your waist, you should first have a comfortable cushion.

(Chair) if you work long hours, be sure to work in a comfortable chair.

(Board Area) What does it say? Ermm… Cats have nine lives? 

“Found a girl crookedly drawn next to a work record when he reached a bottleneck.” 

Airplane

This airplane model was assembled by Gavin himself.

The computer says-  Agent B-7

Team Operator S.T.R.I.K.E

Location Tracker 

S.P.Y Camera 

U4V Commando

Gunship Operation 

Motorcycle Repair Area 

Every vehicle is so cool in its own way! 

Hello, you are... Little… Erm… Let me think… 

With the strength to lift mountains and the spirit to take on the world! Ha! 

The robot arm is actually a simple robot.

For your safety, please don’t linger below it

(Motorcycle) I would like to greet my seniors.

Electronic Control Pad

Responsible for controlling the rising, descending and switches of the entire area.

On Spring Festival, it will say: Happy New Year, Sir!”

Sooner or later, fully automated smart management will be achieved.

Radio Office 

It’s an important communication device, and the only disadvantage is that it’s a bit heavy.

It’s actually a satellite phone, and it can receive signals everywhere.

Looks like the palm phone in the 90s. Oh no, I’ve exposed myself.

It looks like an electrocardiogram.

Don’t know how to use this weird device.

A thick laptop that it’s properly shut when not in use.

A cool eagle logo is printed on it.

Gavin used it only for special tasks and it will not be brought out.

LMAO MC DOESN’T HAVE ACCESS-

Courtyard 

Corner Seating Area 

A courtyard in sunny or snowy days are interested in their own ways.

Sometimes the unfrequented bolsters will envy the knee pillow.

It's’ wonderful when two people are sitting here reading, even if they don’t talk.

Standing barefoot on the soft lawn is very comfortable.

There's nothing nicer than basking ourselves when its sunny.

Binoculars

The white binoculars which you can see things several miles away.

You can use it to watch the stars when it’s not too cloudy.

But star-watching is clearer mid-air.

Seems to be the same binoculars as those in the scenic area.

The binoculars in the scenic area require coins, but this one doesn't.

Outdoor Lounge Chairs 

The new furniture I asked Gavin to buy.

Can enjoy the sunlight spa comfortably when relaxing. 

Closing my eyes, I feel like I’m lying on a beach.

The soft breeze and warm sunshine. This is life. 

Lying on it and looking at the blue sky and white clouds, your mind goes blank easily.

The blue and white clouds-

Leisure Table/Romantic Table (Coziness 52)

Lace tablecloth… I can’t imagine that it was chosen by Gavin.

The elaborately prepared dinner and roses, just for today.

A large sunshade on the balcony. (Black large umbrella.)

Bird Nest (Coziness 37) 

Once it was a pair of binoculars, now it’s a bird’s nest.

I bought it just because it was cute, but I’ll consider having pets in the future.

Birds flying by can also have a free meal here.

#mlqc #Gavin's birthday #mlqc mini house #love and producer #mr love queen's choice #mlqc gavin #Gavin week #happy birthday Gavin