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#it's been days and i still feel heartache-y
okieedokes · 3 days
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girl worth writing to | john egan x f!reader
summary : john pays you a visit while he’s on leave and things get melodramatic lol
warnings : brief mention of suicide, doesn't exactly follow the events of the show
word count : 888
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The vibration of gentle snores rouse you from your sleep, your eyes search for the clock ticking away on your nightstand.
5:04 am
The sun had barely risen yet and you cursed yourself for being such a light sleeper, knowing the day you had ahead of you. However, the sight of shirtless John Egan dozing peacefully beside you was certainly one for sore eyes. You lifted a hand to his disheveled curls and attempted to stroke them back into place, whilst your mind replayed the events of the night before…
5:34 pm
You had just returned to your flat from another agonising day at the infirmary, to the incessant ring of the telephone. You are hesitant to answer, as you are sure it’s your head nurse, calling to inform you there’s been another emergency and you would need to return.
With a deep breath you lower yourself onto the edge of the bed and retrieve the telephone.
“Hello?…” You had meant to use a more formal introduction but simply couldn’t find the strength.
“Y/N?! It’s me, Bucky! You remember?” He teased.
You had half the mind to pretend you had forgotten the pilot after not hearing a word from him in almost six months.
“Unfortunately, I do remember.” You mask your tone with sarcasm.
“Atta girl!” He remarked and you found yourself repressing a smile as you imagined the cheeky grin on his face.
“I just completed my twenty-fifth mission today and it was frankly very nearly my last, so they’re graciously giving me the weekends leave!” He boasts sarcastically and you suppress a giggle.
“Lucky Buck!” You retort and hear him scoff.
“Anyways, I was thinking I’d come pay you and London a visit…that’s if you’d have me, of course.”
You take a pause, pretending you have a choice. Unfortunately the truth of the matter was that you’d take the Major in, always and forever no-matter the heartache, come his departure.
“Do you still remember the address?” You asked, placing a hand to your stomach in an attempt to ease the brewing butterflies.
“I couldn’t forget if I tried sweetheart, I’ll see you soon enough.” He teased playfully and ended the call.
You sighed at the realisation that you would have to spend all evening making your tired self presentable for the pilot, knowing deep down that for John it would always be worth it.
5:36 am
You jump at the feeling of his large hand wrap around your wrist that was still embedded in his hair. You feel your cheeks grow bright red as you push your body towards the opposite side of the bed.
“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean you scare ya.” He croaks in his deep morning voice that never fails to make your knees weak.
“That’s okay! I need to get ready for my shift anyways.” You stutter wrapping yourself in the bedsheet as you crawl out of bed.
“Y/N please…” Bucky groans and grasps at the sheet that is now tightly wound around your shivering frame.
“You always do this…it’s too early and it’s bloody freezing.” He pleads and gently pulls you back into the bed and his embrace, gently guiding your into head to the crook of his neck.
“I’m sorry I scared you…twenty-five missions…it’s starting to get to me now, I think.” He admits whilst stroking a lock of hair behind your ear.
“I can only imagine the horrors you boys have endured…” You whisper.
“You would probably understand more than most Y/N…what with the hospital and all the bombings.” He adds, his tone soft and comforting as he continues to stroke your hair. This is not the witty and sarcastic John you were familiar with.
“I suppose you could say that.” You mumble as you fidget with the dog tag that hangs around his neck, a cruel reminder.
“I guess it doesn’t help that I have this American pilot of mine who when I’m sure has gone and died on me-”You attempt a teasing tone but it falls flat.
“What’s all this about me being a goner? Don’t you have any faith Y/N?” He interjects, his tone only half joking.
“Well you never write or call? What am I supposed to think?!” You feel anger boiling in your chest as you push yourself away from him.
“Or maybe I’m just not worth writing to!” You accuse before John had time to even consider a response to your sudden outburst.
“I promise it’s nothing like that Y/N… you know how I feel about you. Christ! I wouldn’t be using my weekend off like this if I didn’t have feelings for you!” He scrambles to defuse the situation, knowing your spirited ways.
“Oh really?!” You mock.
“Y/N these missions, they’re suicide! I couldn’t never let you get involved with me now! It would be cruel!” His statement cuts the conversation like a knife, silence falling over the entire flat.
A tear rolls down your cheek as you stifle a sob.
“I-I’m sorry John…but I think I’m already…involved.” You stutter.
The pilot sighs, using the bedsheet gathered around your waist to pull you back down into the mattress, so now you are pinned underneath him. There's nowhere to hide.
“If you only knew how many times I’ve heard your voice in my head or seen your face in a crowd…” He whispers whilst gently placing a kiss to each of your tear soaked cheeks.
“You’re my girl…I’m sorry I ever made your feel like you weren't worth writing to.” His tone is soft but sincere.
Without looking away, he reaches for a scrap of paper that was resting atop your bedside table.
“In fact I’ll start right now…My dearest Y/N…” He declares in a exaggerated british accent and you playful slap his shoulder, giving him permission to attack you with kisses again.
When he finally pulls away your eyes meet and you raise a hand to his cheek.
“Come back to me, Major Egan.” The words tumble out before you even able to acknowledge they are there.
“Always.” He whispers, before burying is head in your chest. It wasn't long before you feel his soft snores radiating against your body again.
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guccixstyless · 3 days
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Confessions
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Pairing: Sunghoon x Reader
Word Count: 1918 Words
Summary: Sunghoon and Y/n are childhood besties, but Y/n is in love with him although his heart is taken by someone else. What will happen when y/n finally confesses and he rejects?
A/N: Wrote this oneshot on a rush, hope you like it! Please leave a comment, it would mean a lot xx
Jake Sim Imagine
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Sunghoon and Y/N had been inseparable since they were kids. They were the epitome of the classic best friends, finishing each other's sentences, sharing inside jokes, and being there for one another through thick and thin. Y/n cherished every moment spent with Sunghoon, but there was a secret she harbored deep within her heart—a secret she could never bring herself to confess. She was hopelessly in love with him.
But there was a catch, he was dating someone else. His girlfriend, Rim, was perfect, beauty with brains as they say. They've been dating for 2 months now.
"Just a little bit of love," Ariana Grande's melancholic melody played softly from the nearby café (the irony), casting a bittersweet spell over the night as the two bestfriends strolled on a Tuesday autumn evening. Y/n's gaze lingered on Sunghoon, the way his eyes sparkled with genuine joy, and she wished she could freeze this moment in time forever.
As they settled into their usual spot at the café, Y/n couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom creeping into her chest. After placing their beverage order, they both took a seat and she watched Sunghoon's eyes light up as he spoke about his girlfriend, a pang of jealousy twisting in her gut. She forced a smile, masking the turmoil within her.
She watched Sunghoon's eyes, so full of warmth and affection, and she knew she couldn't keep her feelings hidden any longer.
"Hoonie," her voice trembled with emotion, "there's something I need to tell you."
Sunghoon turned to her, his brow furrowing with concern. "What is it, Y/n? You know you can tell me anything."
Yn took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come. "I... I love you, Sunghoon. More than just a friend."
For a moment, there was silence, the weight of Yn's confession hanging heavy in the air. And then, Sunghoon spoke, his words shattering Yn's heart into a million irreparable pieces.
"I... I'm sorry, Y/n," his voice was barely a whisper, laced with sorrow. "I care about you, I really do, but... I'm with someone else."
Y/n felt her world crumbling around her, she knew what would be his response already but still the pain of rejection cutting deeper than any knife. She forced a smile, masking her heartache behind a facade of false bravado.
"It's fine, really! I wasn't expecting for you to reciprocate, I just wanted to let it out you know...couldn't hide it any further," Y/n smiled at Sunghoon.
"This won't affect our friendship, right?" Sunghoon asked worriedly, "I-..Y/n you're so special to me."
"We will be fine, Hoonie." Y/n assured him.
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As the days passed after Y/n's confession, a palpable tension hung in the air between her and Sunghoon. She avoided his attempts to plan hangouts, citing various excuses that sounded stupid even to her own ears. Every time she saw him, her heart twisted with guilt and longing, knowing that she was pushing him away despite her deepest desires.
Sunghoon, ever perceptive, couldn't help but notice the change in Y/n's behavior. He could sense her pulling away, but he couldn't understand why. Y/n assured him it has nothing to do with the confession, so why? Was it something he said? Something he did? The questions swirled in his mind like a relentless storm, threatening to consume him whole.
One evening, as Y/n sat alone in her room, the weight of her unspoken feelings pressing down on her like a suffocating blanket, there was a soft knock on her door. She hesitated for a moment before mustering the courage to answer, her heart pounding in her chest like a drumbeat.
"Y/n, it's me," Sunghoon's voice filtered through the door, tinged with concern. "Can we talk?"
Y/n's breath caught in her throat at the sound of his voice, the familiar warmth washing over her like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. She opened the door slowly, her eyes meeting Sunghoon's in silent apprehension.
"Hey," Sunghoon's smile was hesitant, his eyes searching hers for answers. "Can I come in?"
Yn nodded wordlessly, stepping aside to let him into her room. Sunghoon entered hesitantly, his gaze sweeping over the familiar surroundings with a mix of nostalgia and longing. He cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably on his feet as he struggled to find the right words.
"Y/n, I... I know things have been weird between us lately," Sunghoon began, his voice soft with uncertainty. "And I can't shake this feeling that I've done something to upset you. If I have, please, just tell me. I can't stand this distance between us."
Y/n's heart ached at the sincerity in Sunghoon's words, the genuine concern etched on his face like a map of his inner turmoil. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, to bury her face in his chest and confess her love for him once more, but the fear held her back like an invisible barrier.
"It's not you, Sunghoon," Y/n's voice was barely a whisper, laced with sorrow. "It's me. I... I just need some time to figure things out."
Sunghoon's brow furrowed with confusion, his eyes searching hers for answers that she couldn't bring herself to give. He reached out to touch her arm, a silent gesture of comfort and reassurance, but Yn flinched away as if his touch burned like fire.
"I'm sorry," Yn's voice trembled with emotion, tears threatening to spill from her eyes at any moment. "I just... I need some space right now."
Sunghoon's heart sank like a stone in his chest at Y/n's words, the pain of her rejection cutting deeper than any knife. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close, to chase away the shadows that haunted her heart, but he knew that he had to respect her wishes, no matter how much it tore him apart inside.
"Okay," Sunghoon's voice was barely a whisper, heavy with resignation. "I'll give you the space you need. But just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready to talk."
With that, Sunghoon turned and left Y/n's room, the weight of her unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between them like a shroud. Y/n watched him go, her heart breaking a little more with each retreating step, knowing that she had hurt the person she cared about most in the world.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, but the distance between Y/n and Sunghoon only seemed to grow with each passing moment. They exchanged polite greetings when they crossed paths, but the easy familiarity of their friendship had been replaced by a strained awkwardness that neither of them could seem to shake.
Y/n watched from afar as Sunghoon's relationship with his girlfriend blossomed, her heart breaking a little more with each tender moment they shared. She knew that she had no right to feel jealous, no right to interfere in their happiness, but she couldn't help but wish that things were different—that she was the one by Sunghoon's side, sharing in his joys and sorrows.
Meanwhile, Sunghoon couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing from his life, a void that no amount of laughter or love could seem to fill. He missed the easy camaraderie he shared with Y/n, the way they could talk for hours about nothing and everything all at once. He missed the warmth of her smile, the sound of her laughter, the gentle touch of her hand against his.
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One rainy afternoon, as Sunghoon sat on Rim's couch in her apartment, she called Sunghoon to have a talk. The sound of the rain tapping against the windowpane like a melancholic melody, he found himself lost in thought.
Rim sighed as she entered the living room and took a seat beside Sunghoon.
"Sunghoon, I like you a lot," she began, her voice trembling slightly with emotion, "but I know you and Y/n are meant for each other. We had a good run of few months, but even we both know it won't last long."
Sunghoon felt a lump form in his throat at her words, the guilt and sadness threatening to consume him whole.
"Rim babe..." He reached out to touch her hand, a silent gesture of gratitude and regret, but she pulled away gently, a bittersweet smile playing on her lips.
"I'll always cherish the memories we shared," she continued, her voice soft with nostalgia, "but I can't hold onto something that was never meant to be. You deserve to be with someone where there is mutual love, Sunghoon. And that someone isn't me. I see how longingly you look at her."
Tears welled up in Sunghoon's eyes as he listened to her words, his heart breaking a little more with each passing moment. He knew that he had hurt her, that he had let her down in ways he could never fully comprehend, but he also knew that he couldn't deny the truth any longer—that his heart belonged to Y/n, now and always.
"Thank you," Sunghoon whispered, his voice choked with emotion, "for understanding. For being so... selfless."
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With a sense of determination burning in his chest, Sunghoon grabbed his umbrella and headed out into the rain, the memories of his past with Y/n swirling around him like a whirlwind. He knew that he had to make things right, that he couldn't let fear and doubt stand in the way of his happiness any longer.
As he approached Y/n's house, his heart pounded in his chest like a drumbeat, the anticipation building with each step he took. He hesitated for a moment before mustering the courage to knock on her door, the sound echoing through the silence like a thunderclap.
Y/n opened the door slowly, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight of Sunghoon standing on her doorstep, rain-soaked and breathless. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word, Sunghoon took her in his arms and held her close, his heart racing against hers in a symphony of longing and regret.
"I'm sorry, Y/n," Sunghoon's voice was barely a whisper, his words lost in the storm raging around them. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for not realizing what was right in front of me all along. I love you, Y/n. More than just a friend."
Y/n felt her breath catch in her throat at Sunghoon's confession, her heart soaring with a joy she had never known possible.
"What about your girlfriend?" Y/n asked.
"Y/n, we broke up," he confessed softly, his words hanging heavy in the air between them. "We both knew it wouldn't last long, she was very understanding."
Y/n felt slightly guilty but also she was grateful Rim was such a great soul.
She begin to approach Sunghoon, taking little steps.
She wrapped her arms around him tightly, clinging to him as if he were the anchor keeping her from drifting away.
"I love you too, Sunghoon," Y/n's voice trembled with emotion, tears mingling with raindrops on her cheeks. "More than words can say."
And as they stood there in the pouring rain, their hearts beating as one, they knew that they had finally found their way back to each other—that no amount of distance or doubt could ever tear them apart again.
For in each other's arms, they had found the love they had been searching for all along—a love that would withstand the test of time, a love that would light their way through even the darkest of storms.
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lau219 · 2 days
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Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Part 10
Previous part here
…………………………………………………………………………….
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Stacy: Sure, no problem. Are you ok? Do you want me to talk to him?
Y/N read Stacy’s text message response before quickly typing out a reply. She’d messaged Stacy, explaining that she and Emmett had gotten in a pretty bad argument the previous night, and asking her if she could please come and get the boys and watch them at her house tomorrow, and for the next several nights. Y/N had no idea what she’d do after then, but she was just focused on the immediate future for the time being.
Y/N: No, that’s ok, thanks. I think we just need to have some distance between us for a while. I’m so sorry to ask you, but I didn’t know what else to do.
Stacy: Don’t worry; it’s totally fine. But just for the record, I think you two will come to an understanding much quicker if you just talk rather than avoid each other.
Y/N: Thanks, I’ll think about it.
Y/N set her phone back down on the nightstand after closing out of Stacy’s message and still not responding to the one Emmett had sent her earlier that day asking her if they could talk. She hadn’t answered the phone the two times he’d tried calling her, either.
Now early evening, she was starving, as she’d stayed holed up in her room all day watching TV to avoid being seen by him through her downstairs windows. But as it began to feel like her stomach was eating itself, she discreetly made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t happen to see her from across the driveway.
After what happened in her kitchen the previous night, she’d completely avoided Emmett after dashing back outside. She was both absolutely mortified, as well as completely confused, and she hadn’t even fully believed that what had happened actually happened, until she’d changed her clothes later on and the proof of their little rendezvous was evident on her panties. She’d blushed every possible shade of red as she’d dropped them in the washing machine, and she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror, which was still the case today.
She was mortified because she couldn’t believe how easily she’d given in the second Emmett had grabbed her. Despite the way he’d spoken to her, the pull she felt to him was irresistible, and as soon as his lips had touched hers, she’d only wanted more. It was pathetic how easily she’d melted.
But it was also just such an awkward situation. They had still been fighting literally as they were having sex, and she’d willingly given in to the possessiveness and control Emmett had shown, and she was so embarrassed by how turned on she’d been. She couldn’t get the feel of his hands on her or the sound of his voice out of her head.
But she also couldn’t understand why it had happened at all, and why Emmett was so upset that she had agreed to Stacy’s set up when he had neither said nor done anything else prior to their little encounter to show that he was interested in her. She figured it was some weird, territorial guy thing – he didn’t want her, but he didn’t want anyone else to have her. Well, she wasn’t interested in any of the drama or heartache that came with that scenario. She refused to be in another situation where she hoped for bliss but was treated like garbage. If he didn’t want her, then he couldn’t have her.
Now, she just had to try and get rid of her unreciprocated feelings.
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Emmett had been completely restless since the moment Y/N had walked out on him the night prior. They’d been interrupted before he’d had a chance to explain anything to her, and after going back outside to the party, she’d made sure there was at least five yards of space between them for the rest of the night. Any time it was evident he was going to try to approach her to talk, Y/N moved away, her face flushing and refusing to meet his eyes as she wove her way around people and tables. Eventually, she’d called it a night and gone back inside her house, turning off every light, and when he’d tried to get in touch with her several times today, he got no response. He wasn’t even sure if she was home now, as there’d been no sign of life at her house all day.
He figured she was confused, and he couldn’t blame her. Remembering how she’d said that it was obvious he wanted nothing to do with her, he realized that the way he’d gone from pulling back to then suddenly being jealous, scolding her, and kissing her wouldn’t make much sense to anybody.
Well, he’d done a lot more than just kiss her, and as wild as the situation had been, Emmett couldn’t help but still be insanely turned on by the entire thing. He’d been on the verge of grabbing her the whole night, and once he’d heard about her date and had her alone in that kitchen, he wasn’t leaving, no matter how mad at him she was.
He knew he’d been out of line with how he’d spoken to her, but in the moment, he’d been too wrapped up in jealousy to care, and something between them drew out a side of him that wanted nothing more than to both worship her and put her in her place at the same time. He couldn’t get the feel of her body against his or the sound of her desperate little gasps out of his head, and that, combined with how he felt about her, was making this silent treatment she was giving him unbearable. He needed to talk to her so that they could clear things up, and if she wasn’t going to answer her phone, he’d have to figure something else out.
———————————————
Y/N was incredibly grateful when Monday finally rolled around and she had the distraction of work to keep her from thinking about Emmett too much. They still hadn’t spoken or seen each other, and she’d asked Stacy to come up with some explanation to tell Henry and Max as to why Y/N wouldn’t be around for them this week.
After returning to the ER after lunch, Y/N was quickly approached by Melissa, who hastily handed her a blood pressure cuff as she spoke.
“There’s a guy in Bay 12 with a bad laceration on his arm, but I just got called over to help prep for an emergency surgery. Can you go see him?”
“Sure,” Y/N replied as she put her stethoscope around her neck. “Any other info on this guy?”
“No,” Melissa shook her head. “He just got here; reception is still entering his intake form.”
“Ok,” Y/N replied as she picked up an exam clipboard. “Go ahead; I’ve got it.”
“Thanks,” Melissa smiled at her and then headed off through the double doors.
Walking down the hallway to the end of the large room, Y/N stopped in front of Bay 12 and looked down at the clipboard in her hand as she reached up with her other hand to grab the privacy curtain. Her head still down, she pulled the curtain back slightly and stepped into the bay, beginning to speak as she readjusted the piece of paper on her clipboard.
“Ok, so, I understand you hurt your arm,” she started. “Let’s have a look.”
As she finished her sentence, Y/N finally lifted her head, and her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw Emmett sitting on the edge of the hospital bed in front of her. There was a moment of silence as their eyes met and she registered that it was him, and when she spoke, her throat suddenly felt very dry.
“I’m gonna go get someone else to help you,” she said, and she began to turn again.
“Y/N, wait,” Emmett said, and she stopped. “Please, will you just do it? I’ve already been sitting here for 30 minutes and this hurts like hell.”
Facing him once more, Y/N looked at him for a moment. He was holding a paper towel to his forearm, and despite how badly she wanted to get out of there, she knew she couldn’t leave him if he really was hurt. Inhaling a deep breath, she set the clipboard down on the counter before she silently walked up to Emmett and stopped beside him at the bed. Avoiding his eyes, she opened the drawer of the nearby cabinet and pulled out some rubber gloves, feeling him watching her as she put them on. It was silent for a moment, and then Emmett spoke.
“Y/N, listen, the other night—" he began as he looked at her, her head still down. But she cut him off before he could finish.
“Sorry, there’s no talking allowed back here,” she said, shaking her head as she pulled some cleansing pads and gauze from the drawer. She still refused to meet his eyes.
“Y/N, we need to ta—”
“Shhh!” she cut him off again, her face burning with embarrassment.
“You’re gonna have to talk to me eventually,” he said.
She just shook her head and pursed her lips, saying nothing as she gingerly gripped his hand and lifted it along with the paper towel he was holding to his forearm. But upon revealing his arm, she saw that he had nothing more than a small scratch that had barely even drawn blood, let alone required an ER visit. Lifting her head slowly, she narrowed her eyes at him as she realized the trick he’d played.
“You wouldn’t answer my calls,” he said by way of explanation, but Y/N just narrowed her eyes again.
“You can leave the same way you came in,” she said as she pulled off her gloves. She would kill Melissa for helping him pull this little stunt and sending her to see him.
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” Emmett responded.
“Then you’re gonna be here a while,” Y/N replied, and she began to turn around. But before she could take a full step, Emmett reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
“We need to talk about what happened the other night,” he said.
She shook her head feverishly.
“No, we don’t. We never need to talk about it. In fact, forget it even happened.”
Emmett looked her in the eyes.
“There’s no way I’m ever going to forget it,” he said. “And I don’t want to.”
Y/N felt the blush creep from the base of her throat to the roots of her hair.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked him, pulling her wrist out of his grasp. “Haven’t you embarrassed me enough?”
“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” Emmett said. “I’m trying to explain myself.”
“There’s nothing to explain,” Y/N replied. “I know it was just some territorial thing. But if you don’t want me, then you don’t get to do that.”
“Who said I don’t want you?” Emmett responded, looking into her eyes.
Y/N’s heart pounded as she stared back at him, speechless.
“I didn’t want you to feel pressured,” Emmett began explaining. “I know what you’ve been through, and even though it seemed like we were on the same page, I didn’t know for sure, and so I thought I should give you space.” He paused. “But then, I found out you agreed to Stacy’s set up.”
Turning, Y/N began to put the supplies she’d retrieved back in the drawer, not looking at him.
“Yes, I did, but not because I wanted to,” she said.
“Then why did you?” Emmett asked her.
Y/N turned back towards him but looked down at the floor.
“I was trying to get over you,” she replied quietly. “I thought maybe something was…happening with us, but then you got distant, and so I figured you decided you didn’t really want me.”
At that, Emmett reached out and gently grabbed her hand, and Y/N lifted her head to look at him.
“That couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said to her.
Y/N’s heart skipped a beat as they looked at each other and he pulled her slightly closer.
“You have no idea how much I want you,” he continued, his voice lowered, conscious of the fact of where they were, but needing to tell her nonetheless. “And if anything I did made you question that or start putting yourself down, then I need to know how to convince you that you’re perfect, because I know how you talk down to yourself.”
Y/N blushed and shook her head, unsure how to respond. Absentmindedly, she began moving her hand around in his, their fingers playing together as she looked down.
“I’m not perfect,” she said quietly. “Not even close.”
Emmett pulled her even closer, bringing her between his legs before tugging his hand out of hers and instead lifting it to her face. As he cupped her cheek, he could feel the heat from her blush as he looked into her eyes.
“A woman who’s completely selfless, warm, loving to a fault, and sexy?” he raised his eyebrows and paused for emphasis. “I think that’s the definition of perfect.”
Y/N’s heart was pounding so hard that she guessed the thumping of her chest was visible under her scrub top. Emmett then gave her a small smile as he quickly looked down at her lips, and then back up to her eyes again.
“The added fact that you’re a sassy little piece of work just means there’s never a dull moment,” he finished.
Y/N’s face flushed an even deeper shade of red as she remembered how he’d called her sassy as he’d been between her legs in her kitchen the other night. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he was remembering the same moment, but before she could let herself get any more embarrassed, Emmett pulled her the rest of the way to him and gently placed his lips on hers.
Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her, and when he slipped his other arm around her waist, she lifted a hand and braced it on his chest. Kissing him, his arm around her, felt like finally arriving somewhere she was meant to be, and she didn’t want it to end. When Emmett eventually pulled back, he smiled again as she opened her eyes.
“I know you hate having me as a neighbor, my hands are never clean enough, and you’re a better parent to my own kids than I am, but is there any chance you’d consider canceling that blind date?” he said to her.
But Y/N suddenly frowned and looked at him in disbelief.
“What are you talking about?” she asked him incredulously. “You are an amazing father.”
Emmett just scoffed and shook his head.
“You are,” Y/N said. “Emmett, the fact that you have raised them on your own for this long, and they have turned into such wonderful kids, is just proof of how amazing of a father you are. I know firsthand how hard you work, and how much you’re there for them. If you think you’re not doing a great job, then maybe I should send you down the hall to have an MRI, because clearly, there’s something wrong in your head.”
At that, Emmett breathed out a laugh and pulled her closer again.
“How can you put yourself down so much but then say something like that about me?” he asked her.
“Because it’s true,” she replied as she looked at him. “You’re teaching them to be just as hardworking, kind, and good as you are. I’ve seen it. And if you weren’t so great, they wouldn’t be, either. But they are.”
Emmett squeezed her waist as he looked at her.
“You realize the impact you’ve had on them?” he said. “They adore you.”
The love was obvious in Y/N’s eyes.
“I’m sorry if I’ve ever overstepped,” she said gently. “But I just can’t help but want to take care of them.”
Emmett didn’t know how it was possible for someone to be so incredible, but he did know that he would do whatever he could to try and show her how amazing she was.
“What about you?” he said. “If you ask me, it’s about time someone took care of you.” When she opened her mouth to protest, Emmett continued before she could say anything.
“And don’t you dare say you’re not important,” he said.
Y/N pursed her lips, as that was exactly what she was about to say.
“We’re gonna have to fix that,” Emmett finished, referring to the way she belittled herself.
He then pulled her closer once more and kissed her again, and as Y/N leaned into him, his hands rested on her hips. After a moment, he pulled away just enough for their lips to part, and he spoke again.
“Come over tonight,” he said, his voice quiet but heavy. “No expectations – I just want to be around you.”
Y/N’s heart was pounding again.
“What about the boys?” she said, her voice a little breathy.
“I’ll ask Stacy to keep ‘em tonight...or for the next month.”
Y/N giggled, and then she looked down at Emmett’s arm and ran her finger over the small scratch he had.
“I don’t know if you’re in any kind of shape for visitors,” she said teasingly. “You’ve been through quite the trauma here.”
“If it’s as bad as you say, then I definitely shouldn’t be alone,” he replied, playing along. “Do you make house calls?”
“Not usually,” Y/N said. She reached over to the counter and picked up a discharge sheet, gently shoving it into his chest and then pulling away from him. As she drew back the privacy curtain and stepped back into the hallway, she spoke once more, giving him a coy little smile before she turned away.
“But I’m willing to make an exception,” she said.
@nyxxie-pooh @febris-amatoria @natalie--rushman @xsweetcatastrophe @hannibellector
@beastofburdenxo @aphroditeslover11 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @garrison-girl-08 @meister95
@fuseburner @devotedlyshadowytheorist @neonpurplestars89-blog
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safetypinxtales · 2 months
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400 years | Azriel
summary: drinking with your best friend takes a turn when you happen upon some of Feyre's art supplies.
words: 3.2k
warnings: steamy 18+ mdni, nudity, sex is insinuated but not described, kissing, alcohol consumption (drink responsibly), reader and azriel are drunk, making out, big dick azriel, fluff, no use of y/n, neutrally described reader/no reader description
notes: happy valentines day, here's some azriel for youuu🤍 I got the inspiration for this whilst reading this fic by @solbaby7 bc who wouldn't want to draw az like one of your French girls?? Frankly there is nothing I would like to do more. Their fic is amazing and you guys should totally check it out if you haven't already! Anyways, I'm sorry for the "shut the door" type ending, but I cannot write smut to save my life so this will have to do. Hope you enjoy!🤍
masterlist
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Thud.
The sound of Azriel accidentally smacking his head on the wall as he plopped down on the sofa across from you echoed within the walls of the cabin, and you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of you. Azriel’s own shaking shoulders and scrunched up nose let you know that he couldn’t help it either. 
But that was to be expected wasn’t it? The past hour had been filled with nothing but bubbling laughter from the both of you, giggles from Az, and some very graceful snorts… also definitely from Azriel. 
The reason why he had brought you to Rhys’ cabin in the mountains was long forgotten after the two nearly empty bottles of alcohol on the table in front of you. The heartache of getting stood up on your date earlier that evening buried under a considerable amount of drinks. 
“As long as the glass is never empty in between refills, they don’t count.”
Azriel’s words from earlier came back to you, only fuelling your cramp inducing giggles. 
That had always been your motto in times like these. A consistency that had lasted centuries. 
“I can’t breathe,” you wheezed out in between fits of hysteria, your arms coming up to wrap around yourself. But your laughter didn’t die down, and neither did Azriel’s. Your uttered words only seemed to fire him on as he tipped over on his side, hand landing a slap on the armrest.
Seeing him like this, so free and relaxed, was rare. You could probably count each separate occasion on your hands. He only really let go like this when you needed it. When the urge to drink your walls down and flush the pain away seemed like the only remedy to whatever situation you were dealing with.
It was a very rare occurrence indeed. But one of your favourites. 
Azriel’s carefree giggles, that luminous light in his eyes; you swore it could make budding flowers bloom.
You sat up straight, and the situation stopped feeling so funny as you laid eyes on Azriel’s still laughing frame. The uncontrolled giggles, and the way his wings shook in time with his chest. It was enchanting, the sight of your best friend being so relaxed, so happy. 
The shadows that were usually crowding his frame were nowhere to be seen – with the exception of the lone swirl of darkness slowly snaking its way around your wrist, coming down to entwine with your fingers every now and again.
It took a couple more minutes until Azriel’s laughter had finally seized. You both sat on separate sofas, smiles stretched wide and eyes glazed over from the alcohol you had ingested, and as your breathing started to return to normal a thought struck.
“What?” Azirel asked as he leaned forward on his elbows, a curious glint in his eyes. 
“What?” You prodded back, more confused than curious, blinking a few times to try and rid the alcohol-induced veil that surrounded you. What was he on about? 
“Well,” he waved one floppy hand in your direction, “you just perked up, it was like you grew ten inches,” he exclaimed, before continuing in a slightly lowered, bemused voice, ”and that means you just had one of your ideas.”
The corners of your mouth quirked upwards as you slowly nodded your head. He was right – you had come up with an idea.
“Well, I was just thinking about how Feyre mentioned after the last time she was here,” you stood up from your seat, swaying slightly but quickly finding your balance, doing your very best to not bump into the table separating you. “Something about forgotten art supplies.”
Like a predator sighting a prey, Azriel’s interest piqued in a moment. His razor sharp focus was on your every step as you walked towards the supply closet at the other side of the room. 
The closet was unusually dusty, a strange thing for being Rhysand’s property. He was usually very meticulous when it came to things always being spotless and presentable. But you supposed that a small, rarely used supply closet in the family cabin wasn’t a priority of his. Keeping it clean was not a good enough use of his magic. 
Luckily for you, that just made your quest easier. You just had to look for whatever was covered in the least amount of dust bunnies.
“Aha!” You whipped around to face your friend, triumphantly displaying the sketch pad and charcoals in your hands. 
Azriel’s eyebrows shot up at your revelation, grin still present on his beautiful face.
“That’s your big idea? Drawing?”
“You should know I used to be quite the whiz with the charcoals when I was younger,” you rebutted and Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. 
“I have seen your penmanship, so I will believe this talent of yours when I see it,” he muttered and you couldn’t help but gasp at the sheer audacity in his words. Your penmanship was not that bad.
Taking a few steps back in his direction with a huff, you flipped through the sketch pad in search of an unused sheet of parchment. You were gonna show him, alright…
You couldn’t help but admire Feyre’s old sketches as you went through the pages. Some you recognised as early-version sketches of paintings you had seen around the river house, and some were–
“Oh!” Your fingers froze as your eyes landed on what seemed to be an anatomical study. A very detailed, very beautiful, anatomical study of – oh my Gods. You felt your cheeks heat up. 
“Is that Rhysand?!”
At the screech in your voice and the mention of his brother’s name, Azriel shot up off the sofa to get a peek at whatever had managed to pull such a reaction from you. 
The warmth of his body radiated into your side as he peered over your shoulder at the drawing of the very naked high lord. 
You noticed him stiffening out of the corner of your eyes and then, like a tether snapping, laughter started to boom inside the walls of the cabin. With a steadying hand on your shoulder he doubled over in giggles so contagious it didn’t take long before you joined in with his hysterics. 
“No way,” he wheezed, “oh Gods – I can’t wait to tell Cassian!” 
The mere thought of how Cassian would react to such a revelation, the look on his face, had you clutching your stomach. Poor Rhys would never hear the end of it.
And by the cauldron, if you don’t wake up with rippling abs tomorrow from the amount of laughter this night had brought….
“You can’t blame her though,” you mused once you managed to get your giggles under control, “I mean, nice job Feyre.” A low whistle left you as you peered down at your clearly blessed high lord.
The laughter quieted down beside you and you raised your gaze to look at Azriel, only to be met with an incredulous look. 
“What, I’m just calling it as I see it!” You exclaimed and raised your hands in defence, charcoals and disrobed Rhysand still in your grasp.
His eyes flicked down to the sketch pad, before slowly coming back up to meet yours, that look never leaving his face.
“Oh, please.” 
The words fell from his lips with such cool confidence your smile faltered momentarily, eyebrows knotting together.
“You can’t be serious?” He asked, and when you stayed quiet he continued, “that’s nothing.”
Nothing?
From where you were standing, respectfully, it looked like everything.
“What? Like you can do better?” 
Your challenge seemed to light a spark in his eyes and time slowed as he took a step backwards, fingers coming down to grip the hem of his t-shirt.
One swift movement and his shirt was off, muscles rippling under his bronzed skin as he tossed the dark fabric on the floor, his eyes not once straying from yours. 
He kept backing up, step after torturous step, until his legs hit the sofa. The corners of his mouth tugged up in a smirk as he plopped down, arms behind his head, far leg propped up, large wings casually draped over the armrest.
“Draw me then, whiz,” he challenged, using your word from earlier, “let me be your muse.” 
The heat crawling up your neck, scorching the tips of your ears, were not solely from the liquor as you padded over to the opposite sofa. 
No, it was from something very different. Something strikingly sobering, yet oh-so intoxicating. 
You sat down and carefully placed the pad in your lap, flipping through it until you reached a blank page. You moved some hair out of your eyes and tucked it behind your ear, picked up a charcoal and brought it to the parchment – when you felt yourself hesitate. You took your lip between your teeth as you contemplated your next move. The risk. The absurdity. The excitement. 
He was your friend. Your best friend, and yet…
You lifted your gaze to find Azriel’s eyes locked to yours with such focus, such challenge. Like he was sizing up an opponent on the battlefield. 
His eyes flicked down to your hand, if only for a split second, as you gently put down the charcoal. He cocked an eyebrow when his gaze once again found yours. 
“I just,” you took a deep breath, “I just don’t think it’s really fair on Rhys, you know?” The shadow around your wrist flickered, as if sensing what you were about to do. The lines you were about to cross.
You watched as Azriel’s eyebrows drew together, and you fought the twitching of your lips as you continued, “I mean, you are still half clothed.”
With a slight shrug of your shoulders, you watched as your words sank in. How his eyes seemed to darken, the corner of his mouth raised in the smallest of smirks. 
“Is that so?” He mused, and you tried your best to level his stare. To not back down. Not shy away. 
With an incline of your head, you nodded. And watched his hand inch closer to his pants. Down past that dark trail of hair, to the laces tied together at the waistband. Watched as he grabbed a hold of the string… and pulled. 
You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t focus on anything other than his hand. How his fingers untied the font of his pants so slowly, so delicately it felt like torture. You were transfixed by his fingers. Loosening the laces, his thumb slipping beneath the waistband…
You snapped your gaze up to his face, to find him still looking at you – studying you. 
Your breath hitched in your throat at the sound of his pants hitting the floor. With your eyes still locked to his, your heartbeat pounding in your ears, you wondered what you had gotten yourself into. Here you were, in front of your fully naked best friend – about to draw him. 
Let me be your muse.
His words from earlier echoed in your mind as you tore your gaze from his face and dragged it lower, and lower, until…
Your head emptied. Your tongue felt about as dry as the beaches you had visited in Summer last year. Because the sight that beheld you was breath-taking. 
The length between his legs, standing aroused and proud, really did make Rhysand’s portrait look like nothing. 
A part of you had almost hoped that Azriel’s confidence had just been for show. That it was just his competitiveness shining through, a feat to best his brother. 
The reality?
Monstruos would have been a fitting word had the sight not compelled you so. Had it not caused you to burn for him. Crave him. 
Delicious seemed to be a better word to describe your friend. Beautiful. Mouth-watering. A thing of art.
Which is why you picked up your discarded charcoal and put it to the parchment. 
You studied the planes of his body, the hard lines, the soft skin. The muscles that could have been carved by the Mother herself. You avoided looking at his face though, instead focusing on the various scars that marred his skin, telling stories of battles and fights. Of brawls with his brothers. 
You felt him looking at you, however. He hadn’t stopped looking at you. Not since the sketch pad came into play.
It made it annoyingly hard to focus. 
The scratching sound of charcoal on paper stopped. 
“How long have we known each other?” Your voice wavered, mouth dry. You cleared your throat and raised your gaze to finally meet his. 
Azriel tipped his head to the side, contemplating, “about 400 years.”
400 years. And never before had you seen him naked. Not like this. Not splayed out like a feast, waiting to be devoured. Not with his gaze so burning you were afraid it was going to singe your clothes to ashes. 
“Right,” you mumbled, eyes flicking back down to your hands. They were smudged with soot, your thumb and index finger blackened, that lone shadow still curiously snaking around your wrist. 
That is a very long time.
Azriel seemed to notice how the little confidence you had faltered, for he straightened somewhat from his leisurely sprawl. 
“You okay?” There was only soft concern enveloping his words, a drastic change from the tension flooding the space between you just seconds before. 
It was a very long time, indeed. So why didn’t this feel wrong? 
You let out a deep breath, “yes, I think so.” 
Your answer apparently didn’t settle his worries though, because he raised from the sofa and rounded the table between you. 
You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him as he stopped in front of where you sat. 
Only when he lowered his hand – fingers coming to rest under your chin, tipping you face up – did you meet his eye. 
The heartbreaking concern written all over his face seized your heart. The soft furrow of his brow. The slight dip at the corners of his pouty lips. The brutal softness swimming in those hazel eyes. 
It took your breath away.
“Are you sure?” He questioned, voice barely above a whisper.
You didn’t trust your voice, not with the vulnerable proximity between you. All you managed was a meager nod. A small up and down bob of your head. 
His fingers tugged on your chin, and as if in a trance, you followed the wordless command and rose to your feet. 
“I need you to use your words here, sweetheart,” his voice was soft, but the underlying command was undeniable, “please.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest as you swallowed and managed to breathe out “I’m okay.” 
That seemed enough to ease Azriel’s concern, a breath of relief fanning across your face. 
“Good,” he murmured, almost as if more to himself.
His eyes left yours, and flicked down. To your mouth, you realised, as his thumb moved from your chin up to graze your bottom lip.
That intensity was back in his gaze, that predatory focus – all directed at you. His thumb pulled at your lip before letting go, and the shudder that overtook your body could have made the earth shake.
There couldn’t be more than a foot of space between you. 
So dangerously close.
He was your friend. 
Right? 
“400 years,” you whispered, eyes flicking down to follow the bob of his throat as he swallowed. “400 years of friendship.” 
You felt light headed. 400 years, and all could be thrown away as easy as breathing. All you had to do was take half a step.
“Three,” Azriel’s voice grumbled above you as your eyes trailed down to inspect the shallow rise and fall of his chest.
“Hmm?” Your mumble was absent minded, your thoughts being too preoccupied by the male in front of you. What he would feel like. Taste like. The sounds he would make if you dipped your head and licked up the drops of sweat beading at the center of his chest.
“That’s how long I’ve loved you. Three hundred years.”
You froze. 
The thickness coating Azriel’s voice was not something you were familiar with. Nor were the words he uttered.
Your gaze snapped up to his, scanning his features for any sign that he was, for some reason, making the cruellest joke in all of Pythian’s history. But all you found was open, unguarded truth. 
Azriel loved you?
Azriel loved you. 
The rapid beating of your heart was a stark contrast to just how very safe you felt. How right it seemed to take that half step forward. To cradle his face in your hand, the other coming to rest on that glorious chest – right over his own heart. And as you felt that wild drumming beneath his ribs echo your own, nothing seemed as easy as rising up on the tips of your toes and slotting your mouth against his. 
The kiss was tentative, like the two of you were just dipping your toes in – testing the waters. You moved your lips against his, gently, savouring the feel of his pillowy lips. The feel of his body so close to yours. How the scent of him seemed to envelop you. You savoured how easily he took all of your senses hostage. 
He was everywhere.
The sound of Azriel’s wings rustling behind him, the rapid beating of his heart in his chest, the taste of liquor on his lips – it intoxicated you in a way you didn’t know was possible. 
You stayed like that, gently exploring each other's lips, savouring each other's closeness, until you had no other choice but to break away for air. 
You pulled away only a few inches, rapid breaths fanning your faces. The pounding of your heart didn’t seize, and neither did his. You could feel every rapid beat under the hand still planted on his warm chest. 
“Your heart is beating very fast,” you whispered, voice shaky from your breathlessness. 
He swallowed, “It is.”
“So is mine,” you revealed. 
“Yes, I can hear it.”
Oh. 
“Will you kiss me again?” Your voice was so low, you wouldn’t have known he heard you if not for the strangled sound he let out. 
Or for how he grabbed you by your waist and captured your lips with his. 
This time the kiss was less gentle. This time he pressed your body against his as he devoured you. It was all tongues, and teeth, and needy gasps.
His teeth pulled on your bottom lip and you thanked the Mother he was holding you so tightly, for your knees almost gave out. A throaty groan escaped you as his hand cupped the back of your neck, angling your head upwards and deepening the kiss further.
Your own hands found his hair – and pulled. The deep rumbling in his chest and the way he moaned your name into the kiss was your undoing.
This kiss wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t tentative.
It was claiming.
And so you let him claim you. 
Your clothes were quickly discarded as you laid down on the sofa, Azriel’s body on top of yours. And as you crashed together, entangled limbs and sworn promises, you let those 400 years of friendship, of tension, of longing dictate the start of this new chapter.
A chapter of what would hopefully be 400 years of something more.
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tags: @missus-shadowsinger
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wannabeschyulersister · 3 months
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lovelorn and nobody knows
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Sometimes it felt like you had the words “I’m in love with my boss” written on your forehead in big capital letters.
As much as you tried to hide it, you couldn’t help but marvel at him. He was truly amazing at his craft and seeing him so passionate made you want to do it as well.
There were times that he acted a little like a jerk but he’d redeemed himself recently. Thanks to Sydney.
And to Claire.
You were surprised when you learned he was seeing someone. He brought Claire around when the restaurant was practically falling apart. It was such a weird moment. You physically could feel the awkwardness in the air.
She seemed really nice but part of you still disliked her just because she could call Carmy hers.
You avoided being around them as much as possible. It hurt just looking at the way he smiled at her.
Every part of your being wished that were you.
You wished you were the one he confided in after a long day at the Bear. You wished that you were the one he walked around the city with hand in hand. You wished you were the one that had his heart.
You felt like a lovesick fool.
Instead of subjecting yourself to seeing the happy couple, you started to back out of any group activities unless it was absolutely necessary.
The group would often go and get drinks at a nearby bar at least once a week. You stopped going as soon as you heard Claire was a regular now. People would ask if you were going and you always had a lie ready to go.
As much as you loved working at The Bear, you knew that it would probably be best if you removed yourself from the situation. It hurt every time you had to be around Carmen and Claire. You didn’t want to constantly put yourself in heartache.
There was a popular Italian restaurant across town that needed a sous. You had a friend of a friend that recommended you. It was the fresh start that you needed.
When you got the job, it was bittersweet. You should’ve been happier than you were.
So, you drafted up a letter of resignation, took a deep breath, and walked into Carmen’s office after closing. He was busy looking at an invoice when you knocked softly on the doorframe to make yourself known.
He looked at you and smiled a little, “Hey, stranger. We missed you last night.”
“Yeah, sorry I missed it. I uh- have something to give you.” You wanted to get this part over with.
“Yeah? What’s that?” He reached over and grabbed the letter that you handed him. You hoped he didn’t notice the slight shakiness of your hand.
You didn’t answer him because you didn’t trust your voice in that moment. Carmen quickly read through your letter and you watched the expression change on his face.
“What the hell is this? You’re leavin’?” Carmen stood up from his seat and placed your letter down.
“I got a job opportunity that I couldn’t say no too. I’m sorry that this puts you in a situation where you are short staffed but I’m giving you a two weeks notice.” You explained to him.
“I don’t understand. You’re happy here, aren’t you? D-did something happen’ that I’m not aware of?” Carmen questioned.
Yeah, you fell in love with someone else.
You shook your head, “No, nothing happened. I just think I’m ready for a new challenge.”
Carmen didn’t look like he bought your lie. “(Y/n), you don’t think that I’ve noticed that you’re distant and-and you haven’t been coming out with all of us?”
Shit.
You’d hoped that maybe he was so busy with Claire that he hadn’t noticed you slipping away from the group at all.
“I’ve just been busy with other things.” You lied again.
“What’s going on?” He questioned.
“Nothing is going on, Carmen.”
He crossed his arms against his chest and it took everything in you not to stare and drool. Even when you tried to be strong, his biceps made you feel weak.
“I don’t believe you.” He stated.
“That’s fine. I just wanted to do the respectable thing and give you an adequate notice.”
Carmen stared at you and it made you feel like he could read your mind. Like he knew the exact reason on why you were leaving.
“I don’t want you to leave, (Y/n). I think you’re amazing and- and you have a bright future in this industry. I think it’s a mistake.”
Your chest ached at his kind words. “I’m just ready for something new.”
He sighed and looked away from you as someone knocked on the door. You turned and saw Claire holding a takeout bag, “Thought I’d surprise you with dinner.”
“Now isn’t a good time, Claire.” Carmen told her.
She looked disappointed, “Am I interrupting something?”
You quickly shook your head, “No, the conversation is over. Have a good night.”
“(Y/n), wait!” Carmen called out to you but you left his office without another look back.
Even thought it killed you to walk away from him, you had to put yourself first.
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earthtooz · 10 months
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x : DON'T GO :*+゚
in which: blade has always felt cold, but even more so without you.
warnings: 1.9k words, HURT/COMFORT with a sprinkle of angst, gn!reader who calls blade 'ren' once, mention of blood, ooc!vulnerable!blade, he's like a kicked puppy in this one
a/n: perhaps the most intimate piece i've wrote to date, this is nothing but pure yearning and longing on blade's behalf, and a nice fix-it fic with the most vulnerable i think blade could ever be. enjoy!!
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in his new life, blade has always felt cold.
he is not spared from the constant feeling of goosebumps prickling his skin, not even for a second as the cold bites the tip of his fingers and sink their teeth into him to send shivers up his spine. but he has never felt colder than he does right now. 
your side of the bed is untouched, perfectly made, and devoid of any indication that you had been there. the blankets and mattress are cool to touch, with hardly any wrinkles in the sheets, and an ache declares itself home in blade’s chest.
the sun spills on his bare skin when he kicks the covers off, illuminating his scar-ridden chest as he gazes around the room, as if waiting for an sign that you were still here, and that he wasn’t too late. however, an immediate soreness tickles his throat that causes him to wince, serving as a reminder of the unpleasant discourse you had last night. 
it was hardly over anything of importance, but blade, a man of pride and relentlessness, had refused to back down, and you went to bed angry that night. he did too but woke regretful and cold under the covers, your warmth taken with you.
today was the day you had to leave for a mission, and although he knows you have a strict schedule to follow, he just wonders why you couldn’t have woken him up to say goodbye, especially after everything. 
he didn’t even get to say sorry or try to at least make amends. the swordsman only hopes you didn’t leave furious with him, and that you at least had something to eat before leaving.
to distract himself from the heartache, blade forgoes lying around and decides to start his day before the absence you left overwhelms him and the only thing his mind can do is think about you. 
not that he’s successful, because despite dedicating a monotonous afternoon of drilling sword techniques, the rampant thoughts about you did not decrease. rather, with each swing and sway of the cracked blade, his mind finds more and more to think about, with you at the epicentre of all of them.
it’s sometime around sunset when blade receives update on your status.
the swordsman is sat on a stone ledge, gold rays from the sun spilling on his skin as he waits for the sweat and fatigue to roll off. blade thinks of how you’d normally be seated nearby, watching him train to supply water and energy bars. although he never used to like the company or the doting, it doesn’t feel the same without you beside him, he misses you and wonders when you’ll return. 
“how long have you been here?” a raspy, female voice asks, breaking blade’s train of thoughts.
“since noon,” he responds merely. he doesn’t need to look up to see that it’s kafka talking to him.
“right. makes sense. i thought you’d be lonely since y/n’s gone.”
“need you remind me?” he huffs, voice teetering a threatening gruffness that would make ordinary people shudder, but does nothing to kafka.
“oh, spicy today, aren’t we?” she coos, ignoring the immense pressure radiating off blade effortlessly before taking a seat beside him. “what’s up? is there trouble in paradise?” a scoff comes from the swordsman. “i was only joking, did something really happen between you two?”
“none of your business.” 
kafka shrugs before her phone begins vibrating violently. when she reads the notifications, her face pulls the closest expression to concern that blade has ever seen her wear. 
“y/n got ambushed.”
his world freezes over.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the sunlight is gentle in blade’s eyes when he wakes up.
clothes are strewn on the floor, bedsheets are half off the bed, ceramics lie in pieces along the cracks of the planks, and despite the mess blade has made of your shared space, he is the most crumpled of them all. a kaleidoscope of volcanic anger, tsunamic worry, and mountainous yearning, the only place that has remained untouched by blade’s destructive touch is your side of the bed, lest your scent disappears. 
it’s been five days since anyone has received a live update from you, only hanging on to tracking notifications of your spaceship as any indication that you were fine. for the duration of it, nothing has been able to calm him, with kafka and silver wolf needing to stun him before he could do anything brash, like running off into the infinite cosmos to find you.
elio’s promises had never felt emptier, his constant claims of how you’d return very soon turning into dust in blade’s ears because how could he hold on to hope when you are alone amongst the stars? 
his texts are left delivered, but never read. in fact, it has been five days since your contact displayed to be online, and he finds himself staring at it in case that the circle will illuminate green, that you’ll give him some sort of update on your liveliness. 
so that you’ll see how sorry he is and all he wants for you is to return home. 
he doesn’t remember when he became so dependent, but perhaps this is another cruel punishment from fate with another inconceivable price of repentance.
for someone as unforgivable and despicable as blade to love means to mutilate the universe with aftershocks that tear through boundaries of what’s possible. for a man like blade to rebel, it means that the consequences will return tenfold.
and there is no crueller damnation than tearing you away from him. 
he turns on his side, arms reaching over to where you would normally lie, and dozes off again, feeling colder than ever.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
blade wakes up a second time. the sun is no longer the thing that awakens him, but rather, the sound of footsteps that echo outside the bedroom. disgruntled and still trying to gather his bearings, he shoots awake at the sound of your door opening.
you stand on the other side.
is this a dream?
“oh,” you breathe. you sound winded, caught off guard by the sight of your lover who stares at you like a bewildered deer. “i’m sorry, i didn’t think you would be here.”
he doesn’t say anything, just merely looks at you, unnervingly unresponsive.
you look miserable. fatigue clings to your skin like a second skin, your eyes lack the brightness they usually have, and you are, evidently, very battered and bruised, blood staining your ruined clothes. 
but you are like sunlight, and blade thinks he can breathe again. 
“i guess i’ll leave,” you murmur, interrupting blade’s momentary assessment.
“don’t.”
turning back around, the swordsman is now slowly stalking towards you, seemingly teleported from the bed to halfway across the room in the blink of an eye. 
“is something wrong?” you ask and he holds back a scoff from the irony of your question. he’s the one that should be asking that, not you. 
but yes, there is something wrong; you left him alone. you went somewhere he couldn’t and then made him feel helpless because he didn’t know whether or not you were going to come back, stranded in the cosmos forever. 
stopping before you, his hands gravitate upwards with the magnetic need to touch you, to ensure that you were real and not some figment of his hazy imagination. blade raises a hesitant hand to sit on the back of your neck and the frostiness of his fingertips causes a shiver to run up your spine. gently, he presses you for a pulse and visibly gulps when he finds it, suffocating you in the tense silence that has occupied the air (you’re real, and you’re okay, delivered back to him in one piece).
then, he looks at you with the saddest expression you have ever seen him wear before engulfing you in his embrace. the stellaron hunter is hesitant with his touch, hovering around you in fear of overstepping, for blade would never forgive himself if he were to scare you off again. 
because you’re finally back where he can reach, and he never wants you to leave. 
“ren?” you pause, gently wrapping your arms around his waist and closing the gap he left, meeting him halfway. the little action floods him with endless relief. “what’s the matter?”
he shakes his head against you and his hold tightens mercilessly, squeezing all air out of your lungs. 
“you had me worried,” he confesses, no louder than a whisper because otherwise he would crack under the weight of his own words. the constant fear that has plagued him for the last few days would finally break him and he’d be in shambles in your arms, making a mess of something gorgeous with something hideous. 
so instead, he will continue simply holding onto you where you are safe. in his arms, you cannot leave, you cannot go places that danger you, and you cannot break his heart and choke him with the emptiness of your presence.
“i’m sorry,” you say, rubbing his back and he tugs you closer. “i didn’t mean to worry you, everything jus-”
“-you left without saying goodbye.”
you’re silent and guilty, but so beautiful. “i thought you didn’t want to see me. we were pretty mean to each other before i left,” you say after a second of contemplation. “i didn’t know where we stood, i wasn’t sure if you still wanted me.”
whatever is left of his heart breaks, crumbling into shambles that ring at your feet. there are a multitude of things that blade wants to say, yet no words come to fruition, to his dismay. he wants to offer you the comfort and promises you want to hear, and he wants to express the overwhelming relief he feels, but he can’t, and he curses his own inability to be heartfelt. 
instead, his grip around you tightens, like you’ll slip away otherwise and have him search for you throughout the cosmos. 
“don’t do any of that again,” he pleads instead, hoping that you’ll understand. “i beg of you.”
“okay,” you breathe. “i won’t.”
“don’t leave like that,” he tugs at your ruined shirt, grasp gentle and careful in fear of scaring you away with the intensity of his emotions that are hanging on by a thread
“i wont.” 
“please don’t go.”
“i’m here, aren’t i?”
blade sighs, nodding. you smile at him and it feels like a warmth powerful enough to drive the cold away. 
“but first, i need a bath,” you murmur, placing your hands on his chest to push him away. “please, keep your distance, i’m pretty sure i reek.”
he doesn’t say anything and clearly doesn’t listen, because instead of letting go, he simply leads you to the bathroom without ever unwrapping his arms. soon, the bath begins to run, and the sound of water streaming down ceramic echoes off the tiles, but the warmth of your laughter and tired words overpower it. blade sits at the edge, nothing but an oversized shadow that watches as you relax in the water, frowning when he catches the frequent bruise or fresh scar. 
afterwards, you both stumble onto the bed (careful to avoid the mess that blade as made, which you scolded him for, and he listened dejectedly before promising to clean it all up), and blade reaches over to your side, chest warming when he finds your figure to tug close. 
you fall asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. your lover, on the other hand, stays awake for a few moments longer, simply trying to commit you to memory. 
“don’t go,” he repeats, tugging at your shirt as the evenness of your heartbeat lulls him to sleep.
he doesn’t feel cold anymore. 
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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xlatiwritesx · 2 months
Text
For Good | LN4
Genre: angst
Words: 1.5K
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: after four months of healing, you think you’re finally over the love of your life. But when he randomly shows up heartbroken at your doorstep late at night, you start questioning everything.
If someone asked what was one of the greatest luxuries that life offers, you'd immediately say the ability to forget. The ability of time to mend broken hearts and stitch up wounds. Even if not entirely.
You think of this as you wave goodbye to your friends whom were still talking around a small, round coffee table at a cafe downtown you've been planning to go to for weeks. You don't realize it until you were leaving that Lando was the one that had recommended this place to you. Your smile widens at your progress as you get in your car to drive home.
You stop at a red light, watching as the people pooled into the street to cross it, going on with their day. You smiled at a couple holding hands. You smiled at another holding each other close. You think back to the earlier days after your break up. How these scenes would've sent you over the edge. How these scenes kept you locked up in your apartment because it was easier to be a prisoner to isolation and loneliness than to endless heartbreak.
As you take the elevator up to your floor, you can't help but think of how it would’ve been if things were different. If he was different. No. If his life and what he was was different.
Would your heart have been torn apart into shreds and just barely brought back together?
You shake your head as if it would shake off the thought and unlock your door. You hang your coat behind it and drop your keys on the kitchen island.
Throwing yourself on your living room couch and kicking off your shoes, you can't help but think of how many nights you've woken up in the middle of, lonely and choking on nothing but a lump caused by loss and heartache. You shiver, feeling grateful that part of your life was over. That you've grown since then.
You focus on whatever was on the TV to stop you from thinking of the worst period of your life. You take a deep breath and force it out, getting comfortable by pulling a throw blanket over your cold body.
You get lost in the many ads and all their flashing colors, almost missing the ringing doorbell. You frown, wondering who could show up at that hour. You check your phone clock and it reads 11 pm. Your frown deepens as you sit up, giving the ringer one last chance before you went to open.
It rings again.
You finally get up, walk to the door and open it. Suddenly, it made sense why someone would visit you at that hour.
You look at him, his curls messier than you remember them to be, his eyes darker than you do as well. His athletic physique seems weak and beat up by something only you would know so well. He looks at you the same way you looked at his pictures when you left him that night.
"I can't do it, y/n" he whispers, barely having the strength to shrug. You open your mouth slightly, but nothing comes out.
You just open the door farther, moving out of the way so he could come into the place he has memorized by heart. He drags his feet along your wooden floors to the living room you had danced around in for many nights. Where you've shared words for only both of you to hear, confessions of admiration, and jokes no one else would laugh about but the both of you.
He drops on your couch and his head falls back. You shut the door and stand there, your hands behind you and your brows furrowed. So many emotions run through your body. Longing. Worry. Panic.
You didn't know how to act. Because the only way you knew how was to run into his arms and hold on to him forever. But you shut your eyes and pierce your lips. You couldn't do it to yourself. Not again.
You slowly walk closer to where he was, yet still stand far enough to be out of reach. You take a closer look at him. You've never seen him like this and it killed you.
"Lando" your shaky voice echos. He opens his eyes and look at you. You didn't think it was possible for more pain to find its way to his eyes. But somehow it did.
"Don't call me that" he frowns, standing up and walking closer to you. You keep your eyes on his, not able to move any inch of your body.
"You never call me that" he whispers, his face finally just inches away from yours.
Your heart squeezes. Squeezes so tightly that your eyes are forced shut and your tear ducts are suddenly full. His scent. His face. His voice. His mere existence. You missed it. You missed him. So much that you were barely standing on your feet still.
“What are you doing here?” Your voice is barely audible when you finally speak, your eyes still shut to keep your uninvited tears from exposing your tortured soul.
“Look at me” he begs, voice desperate. Way too desperate for you not to listen. Your eyes meet his again, except it’s a blurry version of them this time.
“Why are you here, Lan?” You promise yourself to call him by his nickname once. Just once more. He smiles through the storm of his emotions when you say it and you immediately question your integrity for already wanting to break the promise you’ve just made.
“What is it?” You pressure and his faint smile fades. He opens his mouth to answer, but no words come out immediately.
“I can’t do it. Being away from you-“ you turn around before he could finish, pressing the bottoms of your palms against your eyes to hopefully keep the tears in, but even dams fail to keep raging rivers.
His hands find your waist, his forehead resting inbetween your shoulder and neck. You both stay like that for a while. It takes every ounce of strength you have to keep yourself from sobbing. Whaling, even.
You thought it was over. You thought you were okay. That time did heal. And that you broken heart was mending. But it took one look at him to get you right back to that night. And one touch to make it all worse.
“No, Lan” you shake your head, unable to keep yourself from crying anymore.
“We already talked about it. This won’t work and-“
“No! We didn’t! We never talked about how every night it feels like bricks are piling over my heart, crushing me into pieces because I can’t reach out and feel you by my side!” Lando’s voice fills every inch of your apartment. You keep your back to him, hunched over as tears streamed down your face.
“I can’t do this anymore! I’ll do anything. Anything you want, just name it and I’ll do it. I’ll buy it. I’ll be it!” He continues. You feel him coming back to hold you and you don’t move. Instead, you anticipate it. Hoping, praying, begging for it.
“Just please come back to me” he wraps his arms around you from behind, pressing his temple on your wet cheek. You keep crying silently, hoping for a moment of strength so you could reply.
You slowly turn in his arms to face him, holding his face and pressing your forehead to his. You both close your eyes and for a moment it’s like nothing changed. It felt like the many nights you spent loving him over and over again until you were incapable of loving anything else.
“I believe we tried everything, Lan. It’s time to let this go. For good” you somehow manage to say that. He somehow heard you, because he shakes his head slowly, disapproving.
“Yes” you whisper against your wishes. Against all your deepest desires and dreams to be with him forever. To hold his hand and never let go.
“No” his voice breaks and you break beyond breaking with it.
“Please” you breath shakily.
“Don’t make this harder than it already is, Lan” you beg. His arms find their way around you again, his head buries in the crook of your neck. You feel him shake against you. You wrap your arms around him too. Taking him in as if you didn’t have him memorized already.
You both stand there, in each other’s arms, listening, watching, feeling your hearts shatter for the millionth time, cursing your circumstances for tearing you apart. For being too drastically different.
“I love you” Lando mumbles and you smile lightly through your tears, holding him tighter.
“I love you, too”
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lovelettersfromluna · 10 months
Text
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sweet Little Lies *ੈ✩‧₊˚
{Ellie Williams x Reader}
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Summary: Being on tour with someone you’ve been ignoring for two months is hard…but doable
an: AHHHHHH!!! I am so excited to finally give you guys the second part of The Perfect Girl! I can confidently say that the vibe of this one has been so much fun to write and think about ideas for, and it makes me so happy that you’ve been enjoying it! This one is pretty short, im sorry but! the next part will be longer, fluffier and much smuttier hehe. Anyways, I hope you guys like this part too. 🖤 (Also yes I know I posted this before the poll was up but y'all saw how it was going im sorry I am an impatient woman)
Warnings: 18+!!! Eventual smut, Ellie is selfish point blank period, reader is extremely sad, some making out but doesn't lead to much, ANGST!!!!, this one is pretty short so not many warnings hehe. let me know if I missed anything pleaseeee.
Part 1 can be read here!
The rest of the tour was…rough.
After the night at the club, the silent treatment that you had for Ellie had gone from simply ignoring her, to pretending like she didn’t even exist.
Shows were awkward, practice was awkward, being in a fucking band with her was awkward. Not to mention the very noticeable divide that it put between you and the other members.
The entire situation made it hard to talk to anyone. It made you feel extremely isolated, because you had convinced yourself that no one could possibly understand, especially not the other two men in your band, so you barely spoke to anyone.
In return of that, the other members found it hard to talk to Ellie. Because ever since you had pulled away, things were just no longer the same.
The late nights hanging out in someone’s hotel room stopped, partying after shows were done without you, and the only times anyone truly ever saw you was when you had to perform. When you were done, you’d quietly go back to your hotel room to sulk.
The tour ended that way, with you silently pulling all of your things from the back of the tour bus once you had returned home and catching a cab back to your apartment in the city, going against the tradition that you all had done every time when coming back home, which was going to your favorite local bar and trying to out drink each other before stumbling home in the cold.
So now, you were home, still ignoring everyone.
It was hard for you. Because the girl you’ve looked up to for so long, wanted for so long, had said such mean things about you. And you weren’t an idiot, because never for a second did you ever think that Ellie could ever want you the way that you wanted her, even when you were wrapped up in her arms at night, or when she whispered stupid jokes in your ear whenever you were sad, her lips ghosting over your skin, you never once thought that you could have her. Because you weren’t a kid with a great big imagination, with hopes and dreams that you’d one day be swept off of your feet by her.
You knew deep down that it would never work out, and you were okay with that. You had long accepted that your love was unrequited, and as much as it hurt you to see her date girls she’d only known for a few weeks, and fuck countless groupies every night, you never let it get to you.
But hearing her say what she said, hearing those words fall from her pretty lips….it was like something was eating you from the inside out, and the love that you had for Ellie couldn’t outweigh the pain that she brought you.
And you couldn’t fucking do it anymore.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
The decision you had made didn’t come without heartache. You cried, you screamed, you threw things, ruining your room entirely, your rage and sadness burned you so deeply, because in all of this you still blamed yourself, and not her.
It had been almost a month since you got back from tour, and you could count on your hands how many times you left your apartment. Dylan and Charlie came by the visit a few times, and their apologetic smiles somehow pissed you off even further, because it made you feel small and frail, like you’d never be able to come back from this on your own.
You appreciated them, and you enjoyed the times they were around because it gave you an out from thinking about Ellie.
But all good things would come to an end.
That’s how you found yourself at Dylan’s apartment. He was shocked when you showed up, having not seen you outside of your apartment in who knows how long.
He knew that whatever it was you were there for, was serious.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ellie felt like she was seeing red.
She slammed the door to her car once she arrived at your apartment building, her nostrils flaring as she breathed hard. She couldn’t even stop for a moment to think about what she was doing, or if you’d even be home.
But after her phone call with Dylan, she didn’t care. She needed to see you.
After tour had ended, she had found her way to your place a few times. The first time she had a bouquet of red roses gripped between her hand, which after 10 minutes of standing outside your door, she took home and threw in the trash. The second time she came by with a box of cookies from your favorite bakery, which she ended up angrily shoving into Charlie’s chest when she came back home and he was at her apartment waiting for her to teach him a new guitar riff. The third time she simply slipped a hand written note under your door about how sorry she was, which you had promptly ripped up once you saw the small ‘from: Ellie :’)’ written on the front.
That was the last time she had showed up, figuring that you’d come around whenever you had cooled down from the entire situation. What she didn’t expect though, was for it to go on for months after tour had ended.
But she was done, she was over this and she was over you ignoring her.
She knocked on your door loudly, staring knuckles banging on the wood of your front door, making you frown as the loud noise echoed throughout your apartment. You sighed, opening the door harshly.
“I told you I didn’t want one of your fucking pamphlets! If you don’t leave I’m calling the fucking-“ your words were cut off, eyes going wide as you looked up and caught eye of Ellie.
A very angry Ellie.
You sighed tiredly, already trying to close the door on her. “Go home Ellie…” you mumbled out. But her palm was pressing against your door and stopping you from closing it on her.
“You’re quitting the fucking band?” Her voice is harsh, and her words make you freeze as you stop pushing your door closed.
You figured word would’ve gotten out sooner or later…you just preferred later rather than sooner.
You let out a sigh, one of your hands coming up to tuck a strand of your hair back before you give her a half shrug. “I told Dylan not to tell you until the end of the month..” you mumble out, your eyes staring at your sock clad feet.
The second you confirm it, you’re confirming Ellie’s greatest nightmare, and she’s pushing past you and walking into your apartment before you can even tell her that you don’t want her in that, and that she needed to leave.
There’s no use in fighting her, because she’s already there and she’s clearly very pissed off, so you simply close your door behind you and lock it. You figure that if this is the last conversation you’ll have with Ellie, it might as well be this one.
Ellie is pacing back and forth in your small living room, hands in her hips as she tries to get a grip of everything that she’s learned within the past few hours. She wants it to be a lie, she wanted to come to your apartment and have you tell her it was all a prank, and she’d finally hear that pretty laugh of yours when you too made up and cuddled on your couch.
But you weren’t, you weren’t giving Ellie any of that and it made her feel even more pissed off.
“Ellie…” you mumbled softly, reaching out and trying to grab her arm gently, trying to calm the girl down so you could explain.
Ellie pulled her arm away the second you tried reaching out for her. The soft tone of yours was all she had wanted for the last three months, hearing the way you’d soothe her when she became too consumed in her feelings.
But Ellie felt betrayed, she felt like she was being left behind, like you were throwing her away and leaving her like everyone else did.
You were abandoning her.
“No! Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t talk to me for three months and the first thing I hear about you doesn’t even come directly from you? You didn’t even have the fucking decency to sit us down and tell all of us…you told Dylan and you had him deliver your message to us like he’s your fucking bitch” she spat.
You knew she was mad, you knew she’d come to your apartment in a rage when she found out. You had prepared for it, you prepared for all the nasty things Ellie would say to you.
But you didn’t expect any of this..
You inhaled deeply, trying your best not to let her words affect you.
“Look, Ellie…I just…it took me a long time to figure out what I needed to do to feel better. I don’t…it just isn’t working for me anymore-“ she cut you off, her hurtful words coming back with a vengeance.
“Bull fucking shit.” She spits out, and her tone is enough to make you flinch. Her words are cutting into you just like they had that night in her hotel room, and you’re trying to find something in you to not lose your fucking mind right now.
“You’re leaving because of me, because of something I said. You’re…you’re leaving behind something fucking amazing because I hurt your feelings. I don’t know how many times I have to say it! But I’m fucking sorry! Okay? I feel awful for what I said and I wish I could take it back but I can’t, and I’m sorry, but you’re being weak for leaving because of it” she yells out.
And everything stops….because all you can hear from anything shes just said…
Is that you, are weak.
And it’s like some sort of fucking phenomenon or something, because you suddenly feel like you’re being transported to that night, and you’re standing behind a wall, listening to Ellie laugh about how…how fucking unwanted you are.
And you don’t hold back anymore. You’re done holding back.
“Yes Ellie, are you even listening to yourself right now? Have you for one fucking second not been a selfish asshole to think about how any of this has affected me?” Your voice is tired, and it sounds like you’ve been internally fighting with yourself to keep these words inside.
“You hurt me Ellie! If you’re so sorry you said those things, then why did you fucking say them? Is it so hard to just say you don’t see me that way? To be a sensible human fucking being and not trying to dig me into a deeper hole than you already fucking have?” Your voice is growing louder and louder, and you’re slowly closing the space between the both of you as you shout at her.
When you’re right in front of her, your chest almost pressed against hers, your voice is quiet, and it almost sounds like you’re whispering to her for a moment.
“I never once believed that you could ever want me…but saying the things that you said about me, and then sabotaging me whenever I’m trying to live my fucking life…I can’t do it anymore Ellie…I can’t be around you anymore..”
Ellie almost fucking whimpers, because the tone of your voice is nearly enough to bring her to tears.
You aren’t even fighting anymore, you’re just tired. You’re practically begging her to let you go because she’s just held you in her hands for too long, never giving you the chance to grow and become something more than what you are.
Ellie feels it, just by the look in your eyes, she can feel that this will be the last chance she has to tell you, to come clean and stop lying to herself and to you.
Shes being given one last chance, so she knows she can’t mess it up.
“I’m in love with you.” She deadpans.
You roll your eyes, walking away from the girl. You had no time for games, and that surely meant Ellie falsely confessing her love for you just to keep you in the band.
You nodded your head towards your door as you watched her. “Nice try Ellie. I’m sure you’ll be able to charm some other girl enough to replace me as lead singer by the end of the month. It’s time for you to go” you sigh out.
And Ellie is practically whining as she makes her way over to you, towering over you as she pleads.
“I…I’m not lying…fuck id never lie about this. Leave the band if you want, I don’t care, I just…” she grabs your hand, bringing it up to lay over her heart as she sighs “I need you to know how sorry I am..and how I feel about you…” she sighs out.
Your eyebrows were furrowed as you looked down at your hand pressed against her chest, rolling your eyes as you used the placement to push her away from you.
“Ellie, cut it out. Seriously. I heard what you said about me, I heard all of it. Im not your type, remember? I look like a kicked puppy everytime you’re with another girl” you sighed out as you pushed past her, walking off into your living room before plopping onto the couch with a loud huff.
Ellie was groaning softly, hearing her own words being relayed to her in your voice made her heart break even more than it had before. She followed behind you, sitting on the couch and reaching for you.
“I..I didn’t mean any of that! I panicked!” her words catch your attention, but she groans when she sees the unamused look you’re giving her.
“I swear…just…” She tried, pleading for just a bit of your time before she was getting on her knees in front of you, pushing your legs apart so that her body was pressed against the edge of the couch, and you had no choice but to look at her.
“I’m an idiot, okay? The last thing I wanted was for Charlie and Dylan to tease me about having a massive fucking crush on you…I just…you’re too good for me, I’m not…I know that you deserve better than me…but I can’t help the way I feel about you. It eats away at me at night and it makes it hard to sleep and it doesn’t stop unless you’re around” She rambled, her eyebrows knitted together as she spoke.
Her closeness made your cheeks burn red, and you tried to keep your face down because you knew the longer you’d look into her eyes, the easier it would be for her to make you fold. You frowned as you shook your head, and before you could even speak, she was already talking.
“Please…please I’m so sorry baby…it’s killing me…not being with you is fucking killing me. I’ll leave the band, I’ll pack up and you can find a new guitarist to take my place just..” her words died down, and her fingers were placed gently under your chin to force you to look at her, and you almost lost your breath because..
Ellie was crying.
And not only was Ellie crying, but Ellie was crying for you.
Her green eyes were rimmed red, and her eyelashes were clumping together, and your insides twisted because all you wanted to do was to hold her, pull her into your chest and tell her that it was okay, that you were okay, and that you could be together.
But you couldn’t. Not after what she did.
“Ellie I…I can’t…” you mumbled softly. You opened your mouth to explain further, but you found that you couldn’t speak.
Because Ellie’s like were pressed firmly against yours.
Her long fingers were cupping either side of your face, keeping you close as her lips moved against yours. You gasped softly, trying to break away from her, but she used it as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth, and from that point on, you melted into her completely.
You moaned softly, and Ellie was already pushing you back to lay against the couch, her body hovering over yours as she kissed you so deeply, so passionately, you could feel all of the love she had for you seeping into your mouth.
It felt amazing, having you pressed up against her, whining into her mouth and breathlessly begging for more. It was like every dream Ellie had ever had of you was finally coming true…
But she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that came with it.
If this is what Ellie had always wanted, why was it that she felt like she was doing something wrong? Why did it loom over her like a dark cloud, soaking into her core and making her feel terrible about doing this to you…distracting you from everything she’s done with sweet kisses and breathy moans.
She wanted it…god she wanted it more than anything
But this wasn’t right.
She furrowed her eyebrows as she gripped your waist, moaning softly as she pulled away from you. You frown in confusion, staring up at her and searching for what might be wrong, what you had done to make her stop.
“What? What is it Els?” And Ellie swears she’s never heard something so sweet, the nickname you had for her like the sweetest melody she’d ever heard.
She sighed, gently pulling away from you as she shook her head. “This isn’t right…” she mumbled softly. She sits down across from you, her legs spread with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over a bit.
You frown as you watch her, sitting up and adjusting your tank top, suddenly feeling extremely exposed underneath the girls presence. “Do you…not want me?” You mumble softly. Ellie’s eyes are nearly bulging out of her head as she quickly turns to you, grabbing your face and pulling you close as she shakes her head quickly.
“No! God no I….you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of angel…it’s just…” she sighs, her voice raspy before she starts again. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go…you’re worth so much more than what I’ve given to you…I’ve been mean, and selfish and...And I come here expecting you to just forgive me and...and give yourself to me and...it isn't right.." She sighs out. You pout softly as you listen to her, and you are suddenly remembering all of the things that Ellie said, and you can't help but agree that the wounds are still fresh.
She notices how deep in thought you are, and she uses her strong hands to grip your thighs and pull you so you're straddling her lap. She licks her lips, her hands toying with the plush skin of your thighs as you both stay there for a moment, before she breaks the silence.
"Im not going to convince you that you need to stay in the band...if you really want to leave, thats your decision..but..." She sighs softly.
"Let me prove to you that you're what I want...give me one chance to do this the right way, and I promise princess...you won't regret it.." Her voice is raspy, and it reminds you of all the times she would talk to you while you both laid in bed together and you couldn't sleep. It reminds you of all the times Ellie called you on the phone in the middle night, too high and too needy, just so she could hear your voice.
And it reminds you of how in love you are with Ellie Williams..
Your hands slowly go to rest on her shoulders, your fingers toying with the ends of her hair at the nape of her neck, and you can swear you can see the girl visibly glow the second you give her a nod. In an instant, she's pulling you closer and pressing kisses to your neck, in spots that she knows you're extremely ticklish at. You nudge her gently to stop before you both settle down.
"Thank you angel...I promise...I'll do right by you.." She mumbles softly, her pretty green eyes staring at your plush lips before she leans in, pressing the softest, most gentle kiss to them, almost as if she were afraid she'd break you all over again.
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my-love-is-sunlight · 10 days
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Turmoil
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Law x gn reader
Warnings: little fight between Law and reader but nothing crazy, sfw and fluff at the end, good ending, FEELINGS
Word count: 1.6k
Summary: In which you save Law’s life and he gets mad at you
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
The moonlight danced with the dark sea water, accompanying you in your office as your eyes struggled to stay focus on the paper work in front of you, it was hard to tell the time when you lived in a submarine, but your body knows its well past 2 am, begging for you to snuggle into bed and drift away
From the shadows behind your door emerged your Captain, looking as tired as you did, a brow arching in confusion
“What are you doing?” His low raspy tone makes you jump on your seat as your eyes open wide in his direction, before they roll in annoyance and your eyebrows furrow
“Doing the work that YOU assigned me, Captain” the tone of your answer lets Law know that you’re still mad at him
“Should’ve thought better before-“ suddenly, and surprisingly you interrupt his so re-used speech he had given you a million times over since that evening
“Oh give me a break!” You trow your pen on the table, slamming your hands before gifting him the nastiest look he had ever witness painted on your face
Some days ago, the Heart Pirates found themselves in yet another fight were things weren’t going well for their Captain. You were the crews strategists and whenever you were caught in situations like these you were always by Laws side, but this time he had made you promise to stay out of trouble for this one, which in all honesty had struck your pride. Everyone knew how relentless of a fighter you were, that’s why you had gained such a position in the crew, so being told to back up was like a punch in the stomach, specially coming from your trusted Captain
Trafalgar Law was a stubborn, stubborn man, and that sometimes got him in more trouble that he could handle, as the enemies arrow flew trough his direction and a sword was drawn to his heart, in a blink of an eye you jumped in to protect him, without a second thought
Nothing bad had happened to you, you had came out victorious with a couple of scars nothing out of the ordinary, so when you were met by Laws angry eyes, a long speech on why what you had done was absolutely stupid and a punishment, you were left puzzled, and humiliated in front of all of your crew mates
Since then, you had been locked in your office, getting the extra work the doctor had assigned you so that ‘you learn how to listen’ done, and avoiding any words and looks of his
“I saved you” you got up of your chair as you walked towards the frame of your Captain, he may tower over you, but that would not stop you
“You put your life on the line y/n-ya, that I don’t tolerate” he answers you with a stern voice, eyes examining your every expression
“I did what I did because I wanted to, you may be the one giving orders around here, but you do not get dictate when or how I die”
As you get closer, Trafalgar cannot help but start to feel that maybe he was being selfish, after all, you had given him the greatest of gifts
Knowing there’s someone out there that is willing to die for you, no questions asks
But at the same time, the mere thought of losing you because he couldn’t be up to the task of protecting you boiled his blood and made his stomach turn a million times over
“Then maybe, you shouldn’t have joined my crew in the first place” he blurts out, every single word hitting you like a venomous snake bite, your heart clenching at the thought of being unwanted
Your greatest fear
Suddenly your body language does a 180, your anger being replaced with what could only be perfectly described as heartache. Almost immediately the doctor regrets even stepping foot in your office, before he can say anything you’re already back on your seat
“Sorry Captain” the pain in both your voice and your face makes Law hurt, and panic, and regret, yet words fail to come out of his mouth… just when he needed them most
“Don’t stay up too late” is all he can say before closing the door behind him
Next days in the Polar Tang were a pain, Law had been quite more irritable around everyone, even snapping on poor Bepo. You were either locked away working or in your room and sometimes even skipping dinner just to not cross paths with the damn surgeon, and if you were unlucky enough to do so, you would turn away immediately
Everyone knew something was up between the two of you, Ikkaku and Penguin had showed up at your office asking if everything was ok. You decided to keep it to yourself, you knew if Law found out you’re talking about him behind his back, about personal matters? Yeah, you would be dead to him, and even when mad, you respected him
Shachi was send to dig around Law, but when your name crossed his lips the doctor immediately shot down the conversation, this confirming their suspicions
But then, you finished the damn paper work, and guess who was the one you needed to hand it to?
You tried to convince anyone else to deliver the papers to Laws office, but it seemed like everyone had catch up and found this as an opportunity for you to make up with him, frustrating you beyond comprehension. They had even got to Bepo first
“Sorry y/n, I was told to tell you to deliver it yourself” he offered you a sympathetic smile, afraid of your answer, you just sighed defeated and thanked him anyways
“Just go in and hand him the papers! That easy” Ikkakus voice rings in your head as you try to wash your nervousness away in front of Laws office. Hesitantly you knock on the door, feeling lightheaded at the mere touch of it
“Go away Shachi” the doctors muffled voice meets your ears, confused you answer with the tiniest “It’s me, Captain” After a pause that felt like it lasted a decade, thinking he may had shambles himself out of the office, you hear a “Come in” so you do
You enter the office slowly, almost as if you made any sudden moves you’ll get caught like a pray in the wild. Trafalgar is sitting at his desk, his hands fidgeting and eyes following your form
“I have the paper work you asked for” you stay pretty far away from the desk, fear written all over you making Law feel twice as worse as he had been feeling this past few days
“Thank you y/n-ya, just leave them here” his voice sounded softer, but this didn’t made you feel any less scared as you approached the desk, gaze fixated on the papers in your hand. As you positioned your hard wok on the desk Law makes the uncharacteristic decision to hold your wrist before you retrieved, a shock running through your whole body at the action
Law’s heart beats a million times per second as he finds the right words to approach the matter, maybe he should’ve thought about them before taking your hand, your soft skin touching his freezing him. You lock eyes for a second and finally Law understands everything he had done wrong, from being ungrateful, rude, harsh and just overall mistreating the person he cares for the most
He would rather being shot than admit he was in the wrong, but he knew if he didn’t he’ll lose you, which was the reason he had caused this mess in the first place, so he swallows his pride
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have screamed at you in front of everyone, or made you do all this work and… saying those awful things”
The fear washes from your body as you hear his apology, something you never thought you’d witness in your life, you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding since you stepped foot on the door, offering Law a genuine smile that made his heart fall to his feet
“It’s ok Captain”
“Law” he says, letting your hand go as his own insecurities disappear, thinking you were gonna bash at him after his apology
“Law” you parrot back, earning him another sweet smile of yours
“I just… didn’t wanted to lose you, I was so lost in that thought that I didn’t realize that’s exactly what I was doing” you had seemed to have pushed a button because he just couldn’t stop the thoughts that just fell directly to his tongue and overflow like a cascade out of his mouth
Laws eyes open wide as he sees you approach the other side of the desk, your arms wrap around his wide form like the softest blanket, hugging him while he still sits on the chair, your head resting in top of his. The surgeon stays completely still, taken aback
“Thank you for apologizing Law, I really appreciate it” you whisper making his face bright red and his hands shake, the way your body weights over his makes his brain malfunction and his heart go wild
You let go and approach the door of the office, Law remaining completely broken and flushed in his seat
“See ya’ at dinner.. Law” you say his name mischievously, giggling after before you disappear
The Captain stays still for a while, alone in his office, thinking about everything being open about his thoughts and feelings had gained him, and how addicting his name sounded falling from your sweet lips
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
This came to me in a dream and wrote it in almost one sitting lmao, feel free to request anything you wanna read I am having so much fun writing his emo ass
Reblogs are appreciated ;)
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curseddollfaye · 1 month
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I'm wonderinggggg....could you write something where Suguru breaks up with his s/o and realises it was a mistake? Like how do you think he would try to win her over again?
“I wish you roses while you can still smell them”
ex boyfriend! suguru x reader
✩ listened to ‘I wish you roses’ by miss kali uchis while writing this :) pt 2?? hehehe , oh and if it wasn’t obvious. ANGST ALERT!✩
masterlist
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ੈ✩‧·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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You always swore ever since you were a teenager that you would never let a man make you cry. You would never sit and cry in front of a man. You practically cursed the idea of that ever happening to you. Images of your mother crying because of your father made their way into your head. How she loved him so much, and yet he still left. You remembered wondering how could a love like this turn so sour? Why are you bared the responsibility of witnessing a dying love?
Nothing could have prepared you for happiness to be given to you, and have it snatched from your fingers before you had a say.
Because truth be told, the way Suguru broke up with you, was the day clouds stormed the sky. Your shared room that he no longer slept in felt colder and darker. You had closed your eyes that night extra tight, gripping the pillow that he slept on. Wondering if you wanted to burn it to a crisp
Or maybe hold it close to your nose so the scent of him never goes away.
“Im sorry Y/N…I just…I don’t know if I feel the same way anymore”
Heartache wasn’t even the word for it. 4 years down the drain. With a stupid explanation that made no sense. The man that claimed to love you so much for the last four fucking years couldn’t even give you a decent reason? You were left to wonder if it was you.
4 years ago you would’ve punched yourself for even thinking that. Why is it that in the movies or book you’ve read the woman always thinks it’s their fault?
But the feeling isn’t realized until it happens to you. Insecurities, questions without answers. You swore you hated Suguru Getou. You hated him for leaving little things around your previously shared apartment that reminded you of him. His Marlboro red pack cigarettes, his dumb cologne lingered in the air, and you didn’t know if it scared you or relieved you when you no longer could smell it from how long it had been.
Suguru Getou was the first man to ever make you feel like you were less than. Maybe it wasn’t on purpose. Maybe it was the way he softly spoke to you even when he was breaking your heart. Holding his favorite snacks in a connivence store plastic bag. The contents of it dropping (dramatic yes, but true).
So what exactly do you do when said ex boyfriend shows up at your front door at 2 am on a Friday night? Your silk nightgown slipping past your shoulders. The slight breeze making you blink even more tiredly. Wanting to crawl back to bed and sleep. It’s been a lot of sleepless nights due to work. It wasn’t easy being a nail tech, you are usually booked months in advanced. So that means your days are always planned around around that. At least on the weekdays.
“Suguru?” You rub the sleep out of your eyes. Your door had been merely cracked open. You lived alone now, who knows what creep could be lurking around.
“Hey, I’m sorry…fuck I’m sorry baby I-“ Suguru’s voice sighed. Your eyes finally landed on him as you fully awoken.
He looked as good as ever. Not that you weren’t really shocked. It had only been 6 months since he broke up with you, 3 since you had last seen him. Since he came to pick up the last of his things. Which ended up in you coldly acknowledging him and retreating back to your room with a loud slam. You had made it quite clear that you wanted nothing to do with it.
He looked…tired? Which wasn’t that unusual for him after working or a long day. But 2 am on a Friday was a whole new level. His hair was held back in a hair tie. The black gauges in his ears didn’t look like the ones you had seen last. Making note to yourself that even now you could remember even the smallest details of the tall man standing in front of you.
“What are you doing here Suguru?” You snap at him. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
Suguru offers you a weak smile. He knows he has no right to be knocking on your door.
“Im just…I don’t know” He said truthfully. Which led you to even more confusion. You didn’t want to play these games. You had been over it for 3 months now. You couldn’t wouldn’t let him ruin your progress.
You sighed, you were just tired.
“That doesn’t really help me with figuring out why you’re here…”
“I know, I know okay. I know I shouldn’t be here YN. I know I have no right to come here asking for any sort of time but I just need you to hear me out”
He doesn’t miss the sour and angry look on your face. Suguru is used to it by now, all your friends throw him the same look when they see him. It was the last look he remembers on your face. The one before that was angst and solemn. All because of him, and he has to keep reminding himself so.
“To hell with you. I’ve spent the last fucking 6 months feeling sorry for myself for a man that didn’t give a fuck about me in the end.” Even cussing him out you looked so beautiful. Your hair tied up holding your arms as the chill made its way in through t your opened door. Suguru swears- no, he knows he remembers every beauty mark, every blemish, and every birth mark on your body. Something he will probably never see again thanks to himself. Even angry you looked ethereal. Suguru would worship you given the chance again.
He wasn’t counting his luck though….
“Are you even listening to me?” You ask in disbelief. “Unbelievable, go home. You’re drunk probably” Your hand grabbed your doorknob tightly and quickly made it shut it. However a boot came to stop it. You felt anger course through your body now more than ever. Is this how it was going to be?
“Just..please”
“Is that all you can say to me? Please? Sorry? I shouldn’t be here? I told you the last time we talked that I wanted nothing to do with you, isn’t that what you wanted?” hurt crossed his features. For a moment you felt bad. But you quickly were to shrug the feeling off.
Why should you feel bad? You didn’t break his heart, you weren’t prancing around a new girlfriend four months after the breakup. You have to keep strong is what you keep reminding yourself. Over and over again. Crying for you nowhere.
Crying never made Suguru Getou come back. It never made him feel pity to you and be a man to apologize for his wrongdoings. He did you so dirty so why did it hurt seeing him so fragile?
Where was the empathy for you?
“That’s not true!” His voice boomed your quiet apartment.
“It might as well be!”
“Today’s was supposed to be our 5 year anniversary…”
You scoff. “Yeahhh I think it’s time for you to go”
“I had something I bought um, before everything” Suguru moves his left hand to move some stray pieces of hair that hung over his face. “I wanted to give it to you, it’s the least I can do. Plus, it’s something that you really wanted and I can’t…” Suguru pauses. Looking at you as if he’s studying you. Like he needs to, he knows you like the back of his hand and you were aware of that.
You look back at him. Feeling your emotions rush your body.
please don’t cry YN…don’t cry , don’t cry, don’t cry
“Listen…” You look up. Already feeling your eyes burn. God damnit.
I want to hate you Suguru Getou , damn you.
“I don’t know what kind of sick joke this is, maybe you get off to watching me cry or something. But I need you to leave me alone please.” A whimper escapes your throat. You look around, anywhere but at him. To try and at least keep some of your dignity.
“You’ve done so much to me”
Suguru shifts, his hands in his pockets. You couldn’t see but he himself was holding on to tears. He had no right to cry in front of you. Not after the way he hurt you. “Im sorry..”
“I don’t need your sorry!” You yell at him. Yanking the door open and hearing it slam against the wall. “I don’t need anything from you Suguru Getou! Not after what you did, not after the way you stand there looking at me as if you love me so damn much. Like you used to, when I know and you know that it’s all a fabricated lie! You’ve been here for five minutes and I still don’t know what motivated you to come back here after 6 fucking months, but you know what? Truth is maybe I never really knew you. So maybe I cried for no damn reason. I cried over a stranger!”
“I never lied to you, when I told you I loved you I meant that shit so don’t say I didn’t”
You laugh bitterly. “What about when you said you didn’t?”
He didn’t have an answer for that one.
“Goodnight Suguru. I hope you find whatever the fuck it is you’re looking for.” You said more gently. You don’t know why. You just hated the way he still made you feel.
Because you didn’t hate Suguru Getou.
You loved him with every fiber of your being, and yet that still wasn’t enough for him.
The door closes softly, a click and a lock follow. This time he doesn’t stop you.
This time Suguru hang his head low and lets out a shaky breath.
His hand digging into his pocket to clutch what was meant for you.
A ring.
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jelluf1sh · 29 days
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౨ৎ — fluff ending to this. wc ? 1k.
“…oru…satoru.”
an eye opened. then two. white lashes fluttered around hazy blue irises as the sorcerer began to come to his senses, adjusting the sunglasses that had slid down his nose with a small, ‘hm?’
at the sound of your voice, gojo’s eyes slid around to take in the scenery. but he could’ve sworn you just… wasn't he back at jujutsu high a minute ago? in the infirmary? but instead, the teenager found himself sitting on a bench, his body sheathed in dancing blue artificial light and the passing shadows of ocean creatures behind glass.
the aquarium, he realized, his heart rate spiking. it wasn’t real.
“y/n,” he mumbled slowly, a lazy grin on his face, and never before had gojo been so happy to say your name to you.
“that’s me,” and the full, clear sight of you brings immediate relief — a painkiller for the heartache he’d just endured in his sleep. it was still rattling to him, after all this time, how realistic his nightmares were. he swore he saw the blood soak the pure, ivory sheet that covered you, the paling of your dying skin, the emptiness where your gorgeous, beating heart should’ve been. felt his own heart rip nerve by nerve and his stomach clench into an ugly knot as yaga told him you were “killed in action”: finite, just like that. you were gone.
he’d never been so glad to be awake, to be here, in front of some stupid fish tank, with you. he took in your face as you talk, a worried crease in your brow when you see your reflection in his blue eyes, now glassy. transparent and red-rimmed. vulnerable, if you looked close enough.
“you, um… fell asleep on my shoulder,” you spoke when he didn’t. “you okay? been getting enough sleep?”
oh. that was another thing i loved, he remembered, and it was like his body knew you the way his heart did, as his smile stretched into a pair of dimples. your stupidly big heart.
“…yeah. don’t worry your pretty little head about me,” he assured her, much quieter than regular old satoru gojo would have. cerulean peeked out at you from over his sunglasses and from under his hair, trying to say the words his mouth couldn’t as he rested his head on your shoulder.
call him clingy, but he wouldn’t move for anything right now. feeling you, alive and well and happy against him, that was enough.
knowing you were here was enough.
in an attempt to make small talk, you lifted you arm — the one he wasn’t using as a pillow — to point at a passing beluga whale at the massive tank in front of you both.
“satoru, look, a belu—”
“y/n, i’m in love with you.”
he lied. it wasn’t enough. he didn’t just want to be near you, to be close, yet still at arms length, he wanted to be in your arms. to kiss your face and make you smile at him in a different way than with everyone else. to nap with you on days he didn’t feel like “the strongest”, to be weak around you, to feel those damned butterflies every time he heard you call him “baby.” that was what he wanted — to openly love you, to be loved in return by you and nobody else.
“you… huh?” your hearts pounded in tandem, slamming against your ribs uncontrollably, to the point where it hurt to breathe in the best way possible. “wh… s…say that again?” you must’ve heard wrong, must’ve misinterpreted.
“…said ‘m in love with you,” he repeated, muffled due to his cheek squished against your shoulder. “like, i wanna be a jellyfish with you.”
“…oh.”
“yeah.”
it would be a lie to say that you hadn’t noticed the way your best friend looked at you, the blatantly obvious hearts in all six eyes when he laid them on you, so this wasn’t as unexpected as you made it look.
“…i think,” dry as your mouth was, you still spoke. your eyes weren’t trained on him, but instead at the fish in the life-sized tank, the shadows of passing jellyfish diluting the clear blue luminescence of the waterlogged glass periodically, “i might be in love with you, too.” it came out shakier than you wanted, but you patted yourself on the back for even getting it out at all. and it was true. you came to know him, to appreciate him, to be annoyed by him, to fighting by his side, to wishing you could be there forever, next to him.
in typical gojo fashion, he makes a face. you can’t see it, because he’s still resting on your shoulder, but you feel the indent of his cheek as he pouts. his hand not-so-subtly sneaks down to yours, and he prods your fingers open so he can slide his palm on top of yours. you swear you would’ve fallen over if you weren’t sitting.
“you ‘might’? i just told you i wanna live as a sea creature with you forever, and you ‘might’ like me back?” he mumbles: maybe he spoke clearly, actually — you don’t know, because the only thing in your ears is the pumping of your blood.
the lovestruck idiot pokes at you again — “c’mon, y/n, say it properly.”
his fingers play with yours, scratching your palm gently, tracing hearts into your skin. his head continued to rest on you, and he was ever grateful you couldn’t feel the warmth of his red face through your shirt, the burning of his ears. he’d find some way to make today last forever if he had to, if it meant sitting here next to the best friend he’d come to see as more, just watching fish swim. your hand finally clenched around his, slightly clammy, and clearly nervous, but it was your hand, so he couldn’t care less. and you squeezed his hand and said it right, because if gojo had the right to anything in this world, it was your heart.
“yeah… you’re right… i’m in love with you, satoru. let’s be jellyfish in our next lives.”
@boundedbyfate, @c4ndytr4p, @iluvies, @sad-darksoul, @fayereblogs-4, @ratmilk14, @lovelymimimoo
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MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED
pairing ✭ bf!san x gn!reader
synopsis ✭ San is always available. Especially on your bad days.
content/genre ✭ fluff, comfort (no angst really. reader just cries over unnamed stress)
word count ✭ 1k
✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
There was a soft knock at your door. You knew who it was, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to get off the couch. He had a key anyway.
“Y/n?” you heard from outside the door, “Can I come in?”
He always asked no matter how many times you told him he didn’t have to. He waited a few beats for your response that never came before you heard his keys jingle. You threw your blanket over your head when you heard the key slide into the lock and the door click open.
“Love?” The door closed behind him as he made it into the front room where you burrowed under your blanket on the couch. You felt him kneel down beside you and slowly lift the blanket off your head. 
You were hit with the cold air of the apartment, but you kept your eyes closed. “Are you pretending to sleep?” 
He poked your cheek, “I know you’re not asleep, y/n.”
You groaned and threw a hand over your eyes, “Sannie…”
“I’m here, angel,” he said, peeling your hand from your face to kiss your knuckles.
Opening your eyes finally, you looked to see your lovely boyfriend looking at you softly. His eyes lit up slightly when they met yours. “Hi, how are you?”
You open your mouth to tell him, but just trying to recollect your awful day made your eyes start watering. You try to keep the tears back by keeping your eyes on the ceiling above you but they pool up at your waterline.
You can’t look him in the eyes or you know the tears will fall faster. You don’t want him to pity you. Just the thought of him feeling bad for you makes you sick to your stomach. He shouldn’t have to coddle you like this. You’re not a child. You’re an adult for fucks sake. It shouldn’t be this hard for you to recover from a bad day.
But when you feel his arm slip under your upper back, you let him lift you up. He slides onto the couch behind you and pulls you into his chest. Softly playing with your hair and rubbing your back. He tells you that it’s okay to cry. Even though he knows you hate crying in front of other people, he encourages you to let it out. Never once does he pressure you to give him the details of your day.
You bury your face in his chest as you cry. It’s hard not to feel bad at the wet spot on his shirt even though he’d tell you that you never have to feel bad for something so small. Your tears are hot, though, as they fall from your eyes. Pouring out uncontrollably because of how long you’d held them in. 
It hurts San’s heart to see you like this. As much as he wants to be strong for you and as bad as he wants you to think that he’s unfazed by your outpour of emotion, he wishes he could take it all away. He’d keep all of you anxieties and heartaches on himself if he could. Seeing you so overwhelmed and falling apart on top of him is really hard for him to handle, but he stays strong for you. Because he knows that’s what you need. 
When he notices that you’ve stopped crying, he lets you stay on his chest for a few more moments, running his fingers through your hair. Slowly, and after several minutes of silence, you push yourself off of his chest. You let his thumbs wipe the tears from your cheeks. You smile softly at his gesture, “I love you, Sannie.”
He smiles and kisses you on the forehead. “I love you too, y/n.”
Everything else went unsaid but was fully understood. He knew that it meant everything to you that he had showed up for you. And you knew that his love and devotion ran deeper than either of you could really understand.
✭✭✭✭ 
When San finally got you off the couch, he’d encouraged you to take a shower. He made sure to order food before he took his time to pick up your apartment a little bit. You had been so overwhelmed with work and family stuff that you didn’t really have any motivation to do laundry or keep your apartment tidy. But he knew how much a cluttered space just added to your anxiety.
He picked up the loose clothes scattered around your bedroom and put them in the wash hoping he’d be at least able to get through some of your laundry before he left. In the kitchen he washed your dishes and put them all away before grabbing your trash and taking it out to the dumpster. 
Pushing the door you your apartment back open, he found you seated on the counter. Dressed in a fuzzy pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt. When you saw him, you opened up your arms for him. He smiled and wrapped you in his own arms. 
“You’re doing okay. You know that, right?” He whispered into your hair. You hesitated but nodded.
You took a deep breath, “Thank you for always being here, Sannie.” 
He pulled away from your hair, still holding tight to your waist, “Of course. I’m here for you always. You know that.”
You smiled at him, “You didn’t have to do my laundry, though.”
Raising an eyebrow, he asked, “Are you complaining?”
“No,” you laughed, “you can come over here every day if your gonna always do my laundry.”
“Baby I have a key. I can come over whenever I want,” he teases. Though, you both know he never comes over without checking in with you first.
You giggled and leaned into him, kissing him softly. He smiled at you with his eyes when he pulled away. “Will you spend the night?” You ask, cupping his face in your hands, running your thumbs over his cheekbones.
“Of course,” he leaned into your touch, “I can tell everyone I’ll be a little late tomorrow.”
Shaking your head you said, “No, baby, you don’t have to do that.”
He reached into his back pocket to grab his phone, “Too late. I’m already doing it.”
You poked him in the chest, “Fine, but you have to go before noon.”
“Are you kicking me out?”
“No. You just can’t always skip work for me.”
He kissed you on the cheek, “I’m always available for you. Work can wait.”
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spamgyu · 26 days
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Disconnected Calls // Seungcheol Oneshot
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DESCRIPTION: All his choices to put his career and his team first never led to any regrets; all except his choice to cut his ties with you. PARING: Seungcheol x Reader GENRE: Angst
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There was no one else to blame for his heartache but himself.
He was the one that ended the relationship.
He was the one that chose to do it over the phone – too much of a coward to tell you in person.
He was the one that chose to block your phone number and social media accounts.
He was the one that shut you out, not even bothering to take a second glance back at the relationship he once held so near and dear to his heart.
At the time, Seungcheol felt that he was doing what was right – putting his duties as a leader of his group first, prioritizing the band of brothers that he swore he would never turn his back on.
It wasn't that you were asking him to choose, no you would never do that. You loved those twelve boys just as much as he did.
Hell, you didn't ask for anything.
You were completely fine with being at the bottom of his list when it came to his priorities. You loved him, and you knew before entering a relationship with a member of one of the biggest boygroups in the industry that this came with a whole lot of baggage – you were willing to overlook it all.
As their success and schedules began to pick up, you were getting pushed lower and lower on that list – in fact, by the last few months of the relationships you weren't even on the list.
He had given in to the pressure of his role and decided to cut you loose – unable to balance his work life and love life. You wanted to put up a fight that night, he could hear it in your voice, but you didn't.
In moments of stillness, when he was alone with nothing but his thoughts, his mind would wander back to that night; his brain replaying the sound of his cold voice back to him.
"Let's end this. I'm tired, and I know you are too." His voice was monotonous, as if he was delivering the news to a business partner or a staff member – as if he didn't ever call you the love of his life.
"Oh." Seungcheol could hear your heart breaking from the other line, but he had his mind set and he was going to proceed with it.
"It was fun, y/n. Thank you."
"I– Yeah, you too." He knew you were holding back a sob.
It had been nearly two and half years since that day, and instead of healing, Seungcheol felt as though the gaping wound in his heart had grown larger as each day passed.
It was as if the pain grew stronger with each season.
He was the one that shut you out and yet, he continued to search for your face in the midst of a crowd – in hopes that maybe one day, he would see you again. Through all the mix of voices, he always tried to listen closely; just in case he could hear that melodic voice that was once his favorite song to hear.
Seungcheol knew he fucked up, there was no denying that; but he also knew that trying to reach out was of no use – not when he knew how badly he had broken you.
Feeling the couch cushion next to him sink in, Seungcheol turned to face the body that had occupied the space – pulling a tight lipped smile to greet his member.
"I– Look, I told Jeonghan that it might not be the best idea," Mingyu nervously toyed with the plastic case protecting his phone, glancing over to the older boy who had sent him over standing across the practice room – keeping a close eye on them two. "But he said you deserved to know, for– uh... for closure."
Seungcheol sat quietly, waiting for Mingyu to go on.
"She's engaged." Mingyu mumbled. He could have been speaking in jibberish and Seungcheol would have been able to decipher it.
Mingyu didn't have to say who; he knew exactly who he was talking about. You had been the one and only girl that had this effect on Seungcheol; everyone was well aware of that.
They knew the battle he faced every day in his head; the twelve taking turns giving him their own words of advice to help him possibly move on.
But there was no moving on. Not from you.
A ringing sound began in his ears, drowning out the indistinct conversations that was taking place all around him. Seungcheol knew this day was bound to happen, he just didn't think it would happen so soon.
Was this the reason why you never put up a fight?
Did you already have someone waiting in-line, waiting for him to fuck up?
"I– I tell them I don't feel good." Seungcheol shot up out of his seat, bounding for the door – ignoring all the confused stares from his group and staff members.
He was in no state to practice today... or tomorrow.
Or maybe the next few weeks.
Seungcheol didn't know where he was heading, all he knew was that the room that could easily fit a hundred people suddenly felt small – as if the walls and ceiling was closing in on him. The air in his lungs felt thick by the time he reached the threshold of the door, clutching the fabric of his shirt – his poor attempts to free his neck from the constricting feeling of the collar.
His vision was just about to go dark when he felt someone tug his arm, spinning him around.
"Hey," It was Jeongan. "Don't– where are you going?"
"I don't know."
Jeonghan scanned his best friends face, trying to read him. There was nothing but pain, painted across his face. He knew not a single one of his attempts to try to make Seungcheol stay would work. "Don't do anything stupid."
"Already did." He let out a bitter chuckle.
"This isn't the end of the world, you know that right." Jeonghan spoke slowly.
When he and Mingyu had found out about your engagement through a mutual friend, they stood in shock. There was never a timeline when it came to love, if someone decided they wanted to marry the person they were with after three months of dating, so be it.
Though, that didn't stop the two from being taken aback by the news – despite encouraging their best friend to move on from you. It wasn't that they didn't like you, in fact they loved you. They had only ever envisioned their eldest member with one girl, and it was you.
But what were they to do? This was the last and final sign that the universe had given for Seungcheol to move on.
"I know." Seungcheol managed to croak out. "I– I'm sorry I really need to get out of here."
Jeonghan nodded. "Keep your location on."
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
He had spent the last four hours driving aimlessly. Home wasn't a choice, not when every corner of his apartment still held memories of you – he may have taken images of you down but your presence remained. There was no getting rid of you. Not when his apartment had become your second home throughout your time together.
He couldn't bring himself to go to his favorite places either, knowing that those were once places he took you to.
Every part of this damned city reminded him of you.
Your ghost constantly haunting him.
Finally growing tired of the constant turns and u-turns, Seungcheol pulled into a random parking space – pulling out his phone to dial the phone number he had known by heart.
He knew there was no use in calling it; it had been disconnected months after the break up. He didn't care.
In all his moments, through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, Seungcheol gave the number a call – sending a voicemail out into the void. It wasn't the best coping mechanism, and if anyone were to find out that he had done this on a regular basis, they would have put a stop to it – just as they had done when they had found out he had still held onto the items you had left behind.
Seungcheol knew this wasn't healthy, but this was the only thing that kept him together – because maybe, just maybe, in an alternate universe, you heard all the messages he left you.
"H-hey, Y/n. I– today isn't a good day." His voice was shaky. "I found out you're engaged. Mingyu told me. I– I bet the ring is beautiful, if he had listened to you. I know how much you wanted that emerald cut ring– I hope he got it right. I– fuck."
Seungcheol coulnd't hold it in any longer, the tears had began rushing down his face – as if the dam walls had been broken. "I want to be happy for you, Y/n– but fuck that should have been me. That was supposed to be me. I was supposed to buy you that ring and– Y/n please I– I'm still here. You're the one, you've always been the one and–"
Just as he hadn't been able to hold back the tears, neither could he for his sobs. The pain that once was just limited to the area around his heart had now radiated throughout his body.
He had thought that when this moment had come, he would have been in a better state – but somehow, he felt as though he had been kicked down lower. He felt as though he had been stomped on, beaten.
Seungcheol had reached a whole new low.
It took him a few minutes to regain composure, using the sleeves of his black hoodie to wipe away the moisture left on his face. "This is it, huh?" He cleared his throat. "I need to finally walk away, huh? I– I need to move on like you did, huh?"
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
Unbeknownst to Seungcheol, you had been doing the same.
Somewhere across the city, you were sat in your room; suppressing the tears and sob that threatened to escape your lips.
This was supposed to be the happiest moment of your life, the man of your dreams (or so you thought) had asked for your hand in marriage.
It may have only been a year since you two had made it official but for the first time in a long while he showed you that it was possible to love someone agian; and at the time it felt right. You stopped leaving voicemails on a number that had been long disconnected – the one that you had memorized by heart.
But old habits die hard, and as you stared at the oval cut ring on your finger – the other hand had subconsciously dialed his number.
It had been a long time since you had done this.
"Seungcheol, if you're out there– if you somehow get this– I– I made a mistake." You said in almost a whisper, lips quivering as you began to speak your thoughts aloud. "He– I thought I loved him. I really did. He made me feel happy again, he– he treats me so well. But the moment I saw that ring, I thought of you– I– he got it wrong."
You eyed the ring as you sucked in a breath of air. "It's silver. The band is silver. I don't own silver jewelry– It's oval, not the emerald cut we talked about– I can't help but think that you would have gotten it right. I don't even know why I said yes– fuck, am I stupid for saying yes?"
As a tear escaped your eye, you let out a laugh. This was ridiculous; pathetic even.
All while everyone congratulated you for this new milestone, you were calling the man that had left you hanging – the reason for your tears.
"It's not like you would be here to catch me if I said no, right?"
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PERMANENT TAGLIST
@thegirlwhoimagined @forcheol @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim @pluviophile-xxx @daegutowns @niktwazny303 @fragmentof-indifference @leah-rose03 @haolistic @eclliipsed @joshuahongnumbers @gyuguys @yaaaridk @christinewithluv @yoonzinoooo @livelikejinki @watercolureyes @whoa-jo @primoisellerose @wonwoobestboyy @rakshithanotrao @mingcouper @aksweet7 @nikkell @raginghellfire @kriizztin
(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)
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back2bluesidex · 8 months
Text
Where Do Broken Hearts Go (18+) - Masterpost
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Pairing: Model, ex-boyfriend!Jungkook X Child psychologist, Fem!Reader X Lawyer, Single Dad!Hoseok. 
Summary: Jungkook stripped your emotions naked, left you bare in the chilly wind of despair and self-doubt with an unending heartache. You tried your hardest to move on from him, to live for yourself but failed miserably. Each night you had to come back to your empty home where memories and broken dreams were scattered all around the floor, until one day a little angel and her unbelievably beautiful father came into your life. Finally, when you find yourself healing, maybe falling too, Jungkook had to show up! Again!
Theme: Angst, drama, eventual smut, fluff. 
Warnings: mentions of infidelity, mentions of cheating, broken relationship, reader is suffering so bad, pining, more will be added to each part. 
Word count: will be mentioned in each part. 476 for the prologue.
Listened to: Where Do Broken Hearts Go by One Direction
Taglist requests are closed!
Minors and karens are not allowed in this blog
A/N: First of all, Happy birthday to Jungkook. Secondly, I finally grew enough balls to start another legit series after a damn year. And obviously it had to be angst. Hope you guys like this attempt of mine.
Disclaimers: Pictures are taken from Pinterest.
Chapters:- 
Prologue || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 - Finale
Drabbles: Daydream, Incognito
Prologue under cut
“No. No. This is not true. This is not true.” Your murmur under your breath. Clenching your phone hard, you try to keep your breathing stable. 
“Calvin Kline Ambassador Jeon Jungkook is rumored to be dating actress Han Jiwon.” you read the headline again and then dive into the article. It explains how your boyfriend had been seen leaving his hotel with one of the most popular actresses of the industry. 
There is no mistake, it is Jungkook indeed. You would recognize his bunny features even in your deep sleep, no matter how many hats and masks he uses to conceal his identity. In the picture, he is tightly grasping the hands of the actress as both of them are caught by the camera. 
The picture was probably taken last month during Jungkook’s overseas schedule. He didn’t mention having a “friend” over there. He never mentioned anything about meeting Jiwon there. But again, he hardly ever mentions anything anymore. 
You put your phone upside down. Inhaling a deep breath, you shut your eyes. 
Your body feels heavy, your heart twists in a fear of uncovering a truth that will leave you broken, will leave you stranded on a lonely island all by yourself. 
You knew he was changing, you knew he was drifting apart, you know he doesn’t look at you with the same glint in his eyes. You know it all and yet you kept your fingers crossed. 
A tear rolls down your cheek and you gulp the lump that formed in your throat overtime. 
The door lock chimes in signaling someone has just punched the key-code. You know who it is but you stay in your place, eyes closed. 
Soft thud of foot-steps echo in your otherwise silent apartment. You still don’t budge. 
He slowly walks closer to your body, stands right beside you, and places a hand on your shoulder. 
“It is not what you think it is, Y/N” Jungkook speaks with a barely audible voice. 
“I know.” you reply while standing up from your seat. 
“I didn’t cheat.” he explains again. 
You come face to face with him. His face bears no sign of discomfort, pain or guilt. It’s just… blank. His eyes are so blank that you think he is actually sorry for not cheating on you. 
“I know.” you offer again. Walking forward towards your boyfriend, you wrap him in your embrace but… he doesn’t hug you back immediately. 
When he places his hands flat on your back, not totally wrapping you up the way he used to, you know it. You know it’s gone. 
The familiarity of his warmth, his scent, the feeling of being home, is gone. Even if your body is touching his, you know he is actually miles and miles away from you. And you have doubts if he is ever going to return or not.
--
Taglist:-
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @soraviie @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel
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atinystraynstay · 4 months
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Angel Season - Jeong Yunho
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Synopsis: Yunho first noticed you when you moved into the building. He was attracted not just by your physical beauty but the way your smile outshined the sun. He has spent the past year making little conversation, trying to be a good neighbor. However, he refused to go into the new year without making a move.
Pairing: neighbor!Jeong Yunho x reader
Genre: strangers to lovers, next door neighbors/cute boy next door, angst - heartache, jealousy
Contains: mentions alcohol consumption
Word Count: 8.9k
December 30, 2022
"Miss, what floor are you on?" "Third floor, apartment 3A," you called out.
The mover nodded his head before whistling for the other. "3A boys!"
One was lifting your bed out of the back of the moving truck, another person still in the truck for support. You stood on the curb of the sidewalk, watching. You were able to help with the smaller boxes, the ones filled with either trinkets or kitchen items. But for the longer furniture, you were more than happy to let the professionals handle it.
As people were carrying things into your new home, you took a moment to look around your surroundings. You've always been attracted to city living. For some people, you knew that they could get overwhelmed by the high-rises and busy streets. That was what attracted you to living here. You liked the idea that you could go about your day without being noticed, being able to blend into the crowds. Yet, you liked the endless possibilities of making this city whatever you want it to be.
Despite the rainy, chilly weather, there was no place you'd rather be.
Seeing as all your furniture had been taken out of the moving truck, you decided to lend a hand now. The faster the movers could drop off your stuff, the sooner you could start unpacking and decorating.
You stepped Ito the truck, going to retrieve one of the boxes you knew you could manage. "Do you need some help there?"
Caught off guard, you jumped at the sound of the new voice. You turned around to see who was talking to you. Much to your surprise, you were greeted by a tall, young man. He couldn't have been older than you.
Wow, he's absolutely stunning.
He wore a gentle smile, feeling a bit bad for giving you a scare. He stood with his hands in his pockets as he stood at the bottom of the truck. You felt a bit guilty at first contemplating taking up his offer. What if he had somewhere to be? What if he was just trying to be nice? However, you came to your senses because he wouldn't have offered if he was serious, right?
"If you don't mind!"
The young man nodded his hand, extending his arms out to take the box from you. You grinned at the gesture, quickly grabbing the box for him. "You have no idea how much this means to me. Lucky for you, the movers got all the heavy stuff, so we just have a few more boxes," you laughed. You quickly grabbed a box for yourself before joining him out of the truck and on the ground. "Hey, I am pretty strong," he said, pretending to be offended. "By the way, my name is Yunho." "I'm y/n. I should've asked before leading you up to my apartment."
You both shared a laugh. Carrying one of the boxes, you took the lead in showing the man to your new apartment. Your mother always told you not to talk to strangers, but there was no way you'd let this handsome stranger just walk past you. Not when he approached you first. "Wait, you're moving here?" He asked, shocked. "Oh no. Please don't tell me there is something wrong with the apartment," you whined. He quickly shook his head, wanting to ease any worries or concerns you may have. Yunho never thought that offering assistance, trying to be a good person would lead him to probably the best thing to happen to him all year.
Yunho was out on his usual routine on a Saturday morning. He went out for his usual coffee and bagel after running errands. It was a little reward for him for getting out of bed rather than staying in. The bigger reward was running into you. "No, I actually live here," he chuckled softly. Yunho was glad that you were in front of him, back turned as you guided him up the steps to your new unit. Because if you turned around, you would see him with the widest grin on his face. He was like a little boy on Christmas morning who opened up the one present he has been asking for all year. "Small world!" You giggled. "What unit are you?" "3B, what about you?" "Well hi neighbor," you teased. "I'm moving into 3A."
Correction, this was now the best present he could have received.
Valentine's Day - February 2023
Over the past month or so, Yunho and you have passed by each other. Sometimes it is when you are entering the building and he's leaving, which he'll open the door for you. Or sometimes it is when you are both returning after a night out.
He was starting to pick up on things that consisted in your daily life. For example, he knew that you liked a fresh bouquet of flowers for your apartment every 2 or 3 weeks. You always had one bad of groceries, presumably buying just for the week. Friday nights always included a bottle of red wine.
All of his friends were aware of the girl next door. They often tried to catch a glimpse of you when they were over to visit. Yunho certainly has developed a crush on the girl next door. How couldn't he? You radiated brighter than the lights atop the Empire State Building.
Tonight was Valentine's Day. Both of your respective jobs kept you out of the apartment most nights. You two had exchanged numbers, for the sake of knowing someone else in the building and for emergencies. Yunho hadn't brought himself to text you outside of those conditions as he was afraid of giving the wrong impression. He didn't even crack under the relentless teasing of his friends on his failure to make a move after a month and a half of knowing you.
He felt a stronger urge to text you today. Did she have a date for Valentine's Day? Did she even want one? Was she even single?
Yunho was on the unlucky side of not having a date for the evening. His work had consumed the better part of days, so he hadn't put much of his energy towards dating. He often came home, reheated dinner if he hadn't ordered takeout, and slept before doing it all again the next day.
Trudging up the steps, he was contemplating if tonight would be the night he finally texts you. However, he knew texting you was pointless. Not when you were practically standing in front of him.
His eyes widened, taking you in. You wore a black peacoat with the red dress you were wearing peaking out underneath. Silver heels were hugging your feet. He has never seen your hair done in curls, but it was becoming one of his favorite looks on you. You wore red lipstick to go with the dress. The one accessory he wasn't pleased to see was your hands gripping the plastic loops of a white takeout bag. Oh no, she did have a date tonight. Fuck, I missed my opportunity.
Seeing movement from your peripheral, you turned your head over. The light frown on your lips was soon replaced with a gentle smile. Yunho always brought joy into your life, even if the interactions were minimal. "Hi Yunho," you spoke, your voice softer than usual. It didn't carry its usual tone of happiness. He could tell that there was something wrong. He felt the urge to take care of anything that might be troubling you, but he didn't want to overstep his bounds. "Hey y/n. I'm surprised you're not out tonight. No suitors catch your attention?" You smiled wider at his compliment. Yunho always knew how to make you feel special. Any girl would be lucky to have him as their boyfriend. "Unfortunately no. I, uh, got stood up, so ended up picking up Chinese from the place around the corner on my way back." This time, Yunho frowned. You got stood up? How could anyone do that to anyone, but especially how could anyone do that to you? You were literal treasure in Yunho's eyes. He felt saddened for you, but angry at whoever made you upset.t
"Oh, y/n. I'm sorry to hear that. Are you ok? Is there anything I can do?" "You're too sweet. No, I'll be okay. I think I just want to be alone, if that's ok?"
Of course, whatever you felt like you needed. He nodded his head, offering a gentle smile. "I'll see you around?" He asked. You smiled back, a bit wider. Seeing Yunho was the favorite part of your day.
The two of you entered your respective apartments. Once the door was shut to his, he let out a soft sigh. He slipped off his winter jacket, hanging it by the door before slipping off his shoes. He trudged himself over further into his apartment, turning on the floor lamp in the living room. He claimed his seat on the couch before looking out the windows into the city.
His earlier dilemma seemed to resolve himself. Sitting up slightly, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. His fingers made quick work at typing a text. A very important text to you.
"He's a loser, y/n. You deserve the whole world and I know there's someone out there ready to give it to you 🙂"
He set his phone on the arm of the chair. He wasn't sure if you would respond, or even read his text tonight. It tore him up inside knowing some jerk made you upset. He also felt some responsibility. Maybe if he had gotten the courage to confess to you, he could have saved you from the disappointment? I mean, he couldn't even dream of letting you down by any means.
Yunho was surprised to feel the vibration of his phone. He never acted so quickly to pick something up before. "You're the sweetest in the whole world. Thanks Yunho 🩷 to hell with him I guess"
He chuckled at your words before trying a response back. "To hell with him. You are an angel, don't settle for less."
Little did he know how wide you were smiling next door. You were at your kitchen countertop. The tears of frustration quickly forgotten the moment Yunho texted you. It was as if he answered your silent prayer.
April 2023
It was a rainy day in the city. Spring was in full swing, the green buds on the trees in the neighborhood beginning to peanut. People all around the city were beginning to put plants out on their balconies. You always loved rainy days. They always soothed your soul, loving to just curl up and watch rain run down the window.
"I can't believe they cancelled the game," Yunho sighed from outside the hallway. You've learned that he can be loud when he's excited or frustrated. This seems like it is the latter.
There were no other voices on the side of the door. He was probably on the phone. Maybe with Yeosang? You've met his friends here and there as they float in and out of his apartment. There were all friendly towards you. It was just a bigger testament to who Yunho is as a person.
You didn't hear much of the conversation before the door closed. Maybe this was your chance. You planned on having a lazy day anyways. Maybe read a book, watch a movie, but you know that it is always better with company.
Taking your phone from beside you, you unlocked it with ease. Your fingers eagerly typing a text message to the boy next door. Your speed of texting matched the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
"Hey neighbor! Think I just heard you get home, wanna come over to watch a movie?"
Your heart was pounding both with excitement and anxiety. You weren't typically the person to make the first move. Since moving in, you were very grateful for your friendship with Yunho. He's treated you with nothing but kindness, really setting a standard on how your guy friends and even dates should be treating you.
At night, your mind often got curious about the topic. What would it be like to be with Yunho? Not once have you seen a woman enter his apartment. He never even mentioned going on dates. There potential was there, but you just weren't sure if he was just being a good friend, an exceptional neighbor, or if he was into you.
"Wow perfect timing, angel" You grinned seeing his nickname for you. "Plans got cancelled, so I'll be over in 5? I'll bring the popcorn!"
Springing up from the couch, you rushed over to your bathroom. You were wearing a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt. You were unsatisfied with your hair though. It was curled in a messy bun on the top of your head. You quickly pulled at the scrunchie, releasing your hair so it fell down to your shoulders. You began brushing it out. You didn't have much time.
This could solve every answer you've had over the past few weeks. This could easily just be two friends hanging out. What if it turned into something more?
Y/n, chill. You took a deep breath, trying to ease your racing mind. You didn't like building up expectations. While you would like it if Yunho made a move or gave some indicator he is attracted to you, you didn't want to set yourself up for disappointment.
Knock knock knock.
Here goes nothing. You took a deep breath in the reflection of your bathroom mirror. It is just two friends hanging out.
You turned off your bathroom light before attending to the front door of your apartment. Your heart beat matched the pace you were walking, trying your hardest not to be too fast. You were conscious maybe he would hear you racing to the door, even thought you were eager to have him over.
Opening the door, you smiled wide to be greeted by Yunho. He was standing on the other side, holding a bowl of freshly popped popcorn. The hallway beginning to smell of the delicious food. "Sorry, it took me so long! I just wanted to make sure I got the popcorn ready."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sun was hidden behind grey clouds, providing little light throughout your apartment. You insisted on lighting a few candles, to create a warm feel to your home compared to the cold weather outside. It also helped create a bit of a romantic ambiance to the afternoon.
You two were sat pretty close together on your three-seat grey couch. An emerald blanket was spread across your laps with the bowl of popcorn in between.
After hearing that you have not seen a single Spiderman movie, Yunho was determined to show you all the movies. Or at least the big 3 - Maguire, Garfield, and Holland. He tried insisting the two of you didn't have to watch all three movies today, but you had no other plans. You would be more than happy to spend the afternoon like this with Yunho.
Throughout the movie, you guys would balance light conversation and watching the movie. When you were focused on the film, Yunho would glance at you to see your reaction. He adored Spiderman, so seeing if you liked one of his favorite things captured his attention. He also would focus on how you smiled at certain parts of the film, particular the scenes between Peter Parker and Mary Jane.
When you weren't focusing on the film, you two would talk more. Sure, you've made light conversation when passing, and a bit more meaningful over text, but this was the perfect time to get to know each other. Yunho wanted to know about your dreams, your passions, your dislikes. He wanted to know all the little things that made you who you are.
It was about 5:18pm when you guys started the the first movie with Andrew Garfield. You felt your eyes getting a bit heavy. Yunho took notice, moving the bowl of popcorn out of the way for you. Noticing, you smiled appreciatively to him. He always had your best interests at heart.
Your eyes grew heavy, body sinking more into the couch. Before either of you knew it, your head fell on his shoulder. Without the bowl of popcorn in the way, your body curled into his. Yunho's eyes were wide and heart nearly stopped before speeding up.
Glancing down at you, your chest was resting against his shoulder. You looked adorable. Your eyelashes were resting against your cheeks, lips slightly parted. Your hands were grazing the side of his body. There was no chance of him going anywhere now. Not that he would want to.
Very slowly, cautious as to not wake you up, his arm draped over you. He sunk slightly into the couch before resting his head on yours. Sleep began taking over his body. He was content.
May 2023
"What do you mean you're leaving?" You frowned.
Yunho suggested that the two of you hung out weekly. It started off with going to local bars to vent about the woes of work and life. Those quickly changed into dinner out, to get a change of scenery and explore the neighborhood. Tonight, Yunho suggested dinner at his place. You weren't sure why at first, but obviously excited to spend quality time with your best friend. But now you get why he opted for staying in.
"I'm not leaving forever," Yunho reassured. "I'm just going to Korea for a little bit. It's been a while since I visited my family, and I can finally afford a ticket after my promotion."
Of course, you knew that family was important. If you got the opportunity to visit your family more often, you'd easily say yes. You couldn't help though but feel a bit selfish in wanting Yunho to stay.
"How long am I going to be without seeing you around?" "3 months," he said sheepishly.
Dramatically, you let out a whine and threw your head back. Yunho couldn't help but chuckle at your antics. It made his heart swell seeing as that you were going to miss him.
He moved his hand over to place it gently on yours. The light touch, even though it was feather like, felt like electric shocks throughout your body. You always craved his touch. Ever since that day last month when you woke up to his arms wrapped around you on his couch.
"Angel, it'll go by quick, I promise." "Can you also promise me something?" "Anything." "Promise that you won't have a realization while you're away that you actually want to stay in Korea? Because the thought of you moving and actually having to say goodbye will kill me."
He chuckled again, a wide smile on his lips. "I promise."
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Turns out that all of Yunho's friends were traveling with him to Korea. All of the boys have apparently been speaking about it for months, but the idea was finally leaving the group chat.
Even though you wanted to accompany all the boys to the airport to see them off, you knew that it would be too painful. Even if he was going to be gone for 3 months, it felt like a part of you was leaving as well. At least with saying goodbye at the apartment, you could hurry back to your place and shed tears if you want to.
Going down the steps of the apartment building, you two headed out the front door. Yunho had called an Uber to take him to the airport, not wanting to pay the overnight prices for parking at the airport especially with how long he was going to be.
It felt very reminiscent to the day you two met. You even tried to offer carrying one of Yunho's bags, but he refused to let you help. You rolled your eyes at him. The least you could do was get in front of him to open the front door rather than watch him struggle to do it with a rolling suitcase, a duffle bag, and his backpack. "Thank you, angel," he chuckled. He could sense you were a bit annoyed for not being able to help. He loved the way your nose scrunched up like a bunny when you were annoyed.
He walked towards the edge of the sidewalk, on the lookout for the vehicle. You stood back slightly, smiling up at him. You were trying your best not to let your sadness ruin the moment. He has been excited about traveling home since he bought the ticket. Yunho described all his favorite places in Seoul, all the things he missed.
"You better still talk to me while you're in Seoul," you said teasingly.
With his bags on the concrete, he turned towards you. He wore that wide smile of his, that wide smile that caused your knees to get week. He opened his arms, inviting you into them. No way were you going to object.
Walking into his arms, he wrapped them around you. He pulled you in close to him by your waist. His lips pressed against your forehead, causing your eyes to flutter shut at the sensation. How am I going to survive 3 months without him?
"I'll talk to you as much as I can, take all the photos I can," he promised.
Satisfied with that answer, you nodded your head. Your arms had found a place around his torso, holding yourself go. Maybe if you held onto each other long enough, he would want to stay. If only.
You felt two taps on your lower back. Raising an eyebrow, you pulled back to lookout Yunho. He was already looking at you. It was as if time froze. He towered over you, but his face was so close to you. His eyes never leaving yours. You could melt into a puddle due to his gaze.
Keeping one hand around you, his other hand moved to cup your face. He tilted your head slightly to the side. His fingertips rested against your cheek. The whole time, he wore a smile on his lips. Regardless of what he had up his sleeves, you put your whole trust in him. You never doubted his intentions with you.
A shiver ran down your spine feeling the padding of his thumb run across your lower lip. Was this actually happening? He glanced at your lips before looking into your eyes. Yunho was looking for any hesitation from you, any sign that he should stop before getting to ahead of himself. Yet, you never looked away.
"Wait for me?"
You couldn't bring yourself to speak. You were frozen in place. Your mind had become fuzzy, all the sounds of the busy city around you faded. All that mattered was the man standing in front of you, the man who seemed to be saying everything you've been yearning to hear since you two met. Was this actually happening? Somehow, you got yourself to nod.
Yunho smiled wider before letting his desires take over. Not wanting to waste anymore time, he pressed his lips against yours.
HONK!
The kiss was rudely short after hearing the sound of a car horn. You two pulled away, both confused and upset at the interruption. Yunho looked over his shoulders before gasping softly. There was his Uber to whisk him away from you. "Shit," he sighed.
Looking back at you, he smiled apologetically. You smiled back before leaning up on his tiptoes. Sensing that Yunho was actually going to leave, the Uber driver got out of the car to grab Yunho's suitcases and place them in the trunk. Just enough time to do one last thing.
"Don't worry. I'll save all the kisses for you, I promise to wait for you."
You leaned up to press one last lingering kiss on his lips. One last kiss for now at least.
June 2023
Since Yunho left, you got pretty good at figuring out timezone differences.
You didn't want to interfere with Yunho's daily life. You were sure that he has plans to visit family, local places he hasn't been able to go to in years, and make meaningful memories with his best friends and loved ones. Yet, Yunho was insistent he will make time for you.
Every Wednesday night and Sunday morning, you two would FaceTime. Thank God for modern technology. "I wish you could be here," Yunho admitted one night.
You frowned and nodded. Ever since Yunho left, he was all you think about. You tried getting yourself involved more in your work, but it as summer. Work was a bit slow. You had friends in the city who tried to help you out of your conundrum, taking you out on the weekends. But you still thought about him, wanting to experience summer in the city with him.
It made you sick to your stomach when you saw couples in the park. You often thought about the kiss you two shared on the morning he left. You wondered where you guys would be, romantically, if he had stayed. You could easily envision dates in the park, nights out with friends, and everything in between. You were anxiously waiting for his return to know where things could go. "Y/n?"
You blinked a couple of times as he called out to you. A soft blush coated your cheeks, coming to realize you haven't spoken in a few minutes. "Sorry, Yunho. Just thinking about what it would be like when you get back here," you explained.
He seemed to smile at your response. It was good to know you missed him as much as he missed you. Though, if it was a competition, he could say that he missed you more. "Oh angel, I know. Just two more months, right?"
All you could do is nod, trying your best to smile along with him. He looked good, even with the low quality of FaceTime with a poor wifi connection. He glowed from being out in the sun, probably glowing also with happiness by being back at home. "I know what will make us feel better," he suddenly announced. You perked up with curiosity. Yunho always had some trick up his sleeve. That was what you loved about him. He always kept you on your toes, never settling for a routine. "Go check the front door."
"You better not be pulling a prank on me, Jeong Yunho!" "After you called me by my full name? Absolutely not."
You rolled your eyes playfully before pushing yourself away from the desk in your bedroom. Yunho watched with amusement as you disappeared from the frame. Following his request, you made your way to the front door of your apartment. What did he do?
There was no knock at the door to indicate someone was there. However, you trusted Yunho. You slowly opened the door, confirming there was nobody standing behind there. Instead, there was a bouquet of flowers on your doormat. You gasped softly to see it wa a rather large bouquet, much larger than the ones you pick up from Trader Joe's.
You bent over to take the glass vase into two hands. There was a yellow bow wrapped around it. You also noticed that there was a card sticking in between the flowers. With one arm securing the vase, you flipped the card over.
"Happy birthday, my angel. Hopefully these make up for me being away."
Your heart fluttered at the sentiment. How did you get so fortunate? Wanting to hurry back to Yunho, you returned to the inside of your apartment. Both of your hands held the vase, so you closed the door with your foot. You began to make your way back to your bedroom where he awaited for you.
"Yunho, I love-" but you froze. Instead of his face on the monitor, you were met with your laptop background. You frowned a bit, assuming that maybe the connection got disrupted.
He'll call you back. He always did when this happened.
For now, you walked over to your windowsill. You placed the vase there, so it could get the necessary sunlight. He knew just the ways to make you smile, even when he is thousands of miles away. You pulled your phone out to snap a photo of it, with the card showing.
August 2023
The conversations between you and Yunho began to become less frequent. It chipped away at your heart when you would go days, sometime a week without hearing from him. Yet, his friends reassured you that he was having a great time back at home.
All of Yunho's friends easily became yours, despite them being on the other side of the world. You then decided to throw a welcome back party for all the boys. You had your own friends enlisted to help with decorations - there were balloons, streamers, and even a cake. You were excited to have some of your favorite people back. But not more excited than you were to have Yunho back.
It was 7:40pm when the boys began to come to the party. Seonghwa and Hongjoong were the first to arrive. Your friends started to trickle in one at a time. After a whole summer without Yunho, you wanted to have a room full of positive energy. San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung arrived next. Then quickly came Jongho.
Each time the door opened, you looked over, hoping to see the man of the hour. Yet, you felt your smile flatten when it wasn't Yunho.
Your friends all giggled at your reactions. They were quick to reassure you that he was on his way. While Yunho's friends all were quick to take your mind off of Yunho's absence.
Mingi was the second to last person to arrive. Mingi was the first person in the friend group to meet. He's known Yunho the longest, so meeting him felt like you were meeting the president. While you and Yunho remained in undefined territory, you wanted to make a great impression. "Y/n!" "Mingi!"
You two approached each other, wrapping each other in a hug. You laughed as Mingi began rocking you back and forth. He definitely became like a big brother to you, often using your drastic height difference as a great point for laughter. "What's up, short stuff?" "Nothing much, Mingi. How's the weather up there?"
Before he could respond, there was knocking at the door. Your heart skipped a beat. Yunho. Mingi glanced at the door before looking at you. His hands were placed on your forearms, keeping you still rather than running towards the door like you wanted to rush to the door. "Wait, y/n. There's something I need to tell you." "Mingi, come on. Can't it wait?" Your best friend beat you from going to open the door. Your attention on Mingi was lost before you quickly looked over at the door.
You could feel your stomach drop at what was revealed behind the closed front door. There was Yunho. With a girl by his side. Her hand was on his chest which made you physically ill. Yunho was smiling from ear to ear, saying hello to his friends until his eyes landed on you. That's when your smile faded. He looked as if he was about to say something to you but you quickly looked away.
This can't be happening.
"I need to get out of here," you murmured. Getting the hint, Mingi stepped aside, blocking Yunho's view of you. Your eyes looked around your room until you eyed the fire escape by your kitchen window.
With your eyes on the target, you maneuvered yourself through the crowd to the fire escape. The majority of people at the party were in your living room, enjoying the food you laid out and making conversations amongst themselves. You just needed a chance to breathe before returning inside.
You propped open the window, slipping out to climb the steps. You at least climbed until you were out of sight from inside the room. Your eyes were burning slightly, your emotions catching up to you.
"Mingi, where is she?" "Where is who?"
You heard Yunho groan before there was more shuffling of footsteps throughout your apartment. You should have closed the window behind you, but it was too late. You put your hands on your forehead, trying your best to stop crying before the inevitable happened. It didn't take long anyways. "There you are," Yunho sighed. Fuck me for having a tiny apartment. You didn't pick your head up to hear Yunho climb out to join you. "What? You're not going to even look at me?"
Who does he think he is? "You made me promise," you murmured. "Y/n, angel, you gotta at least speak up."
You felt your blood begin to boil now. He doesn't get the right to call you that anymore. Not when he broke your heart. You did pick your head up, your jaw clenched. You stared at him.
He leaned against the iron railing of the fire escape. He looked guilty. He knows what he did. "You made me promise to wait for you. And I held up my end of the bargain." "Angel, I know-" "Don't you dare fucking call me that."
Yunho's eyes opened wide. He has never heard you shout before. Let alone he never thought you would shout at him. He was at a lost for words. "Is that why you stopped our FaceTime calls?"
You watched as he sighed, dropping his head. Your heart dropping and shattering along with him. "Get out." Y/n, please. Let me explain what happened." "I said get out, Yunho!"
Mingi quickly appeared at the sound of you screaming. You didn't even notice that there was a small watch party watching you experience heartbreak from the kitchen. "Come on, mate. Take Ara with you." Yunho glanced between the two of you, even more thrown off as to why Mingi was coming to your defense.
However, Yunho didn't want to make matters worse. He didn't want to further upset you in your own home, but the damage was done. You turned your face to focus on the skyline, not wanting to watch Yunho walk into the art of someone else.
When you noticed Yunho was gone, you groaned loudly before resting your head back in your hands. What were you going to do?
October 2023
You haven't spoken to Yunho in weeks. You constantly had music playing from the speakers in your living room or walked around your apartment with headphones to avoid hearing any and all interactions between Yunho and his girlfriend. You even were contemplating on moving to a new place in the new year, but your financial situation limited you on where you could go.
Since things went radio silent, your conversations with the other boys have also gone quiet. It pained you to lose them as friends, but you couldn't bring yourself to reach out there. Not when Yunho might be brought up.
At the moment, you were reading a book on your couch. You had the music playing in the background as you had connected your iPhone to your wireless speaker, drowning out any noise. At least someone gets a happily every after in the novel. You had a glass of red wine on the coffee table, getting lost in the pages.
You were about to flip the page to your book when the music cut out. Your eyes widened as you feared the worst. No no no. You couldn't afford your phone dying. You were sure you put it on the charger. There was no room for mishaps like this.
However, it wasn't the worst case you imagined. It might have been something worst, definitely unexpected to say the least. You weren't sure how to feel seeing the name flash on your phone screen.
Mingi.
Slowly, you reached over to pick up the phone. You stared at it for the time being. What could he want? Mingi was the last person you thought would reach out to you. Wasn't there a rule under bro code that said not to take your friend's exes, if you could even call yourself that? You weren't sure what you even were to Yunho.
Mingi's name vanished from your phone screen, the music restarting. You let out a sigh, about to sink into your couch to ease your racing heart when he started calling again.
It had to be serious if he was calling you twice. Hesitantly, your thumb hit the green accept button. You held the phone up to your ear.
"Hello? Mingi?" "Long time since I've heard from you," he said cheerfully. "Mind coming to open the door for me?"
What? You glanced the door before standing up. You walked over to the door slowly. Once you were at the peephole of your unit door. There he was, standing as he looked around the hallway with his hand up to his ear, holding the phone.
Slowly, you opened the door and gazed up at Mingi. He noticed the movement and finally looked ahead of him. His smile grew when he saw you for the first time in months. "Hi, y/n," he spoke softly. You could hear his voice from right in front of you and from the speaker. "Hi Mingi. What can I do for you?" You said, unhanging up the phone to address him properly.
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For the first time in weeks, you felt genuinely happy. You arm was linked with Mingi's as he guided you to your apartment unit.
While it's been weeks since contact with him, it felt like you guys were picking up right where you left off. Maybe that is why it was so easy to say yes to Mingi when he asked you out for dinner. There was also a special connection between you and Mingi. From the moment you met, the communication between you two has been strong.
Tonight, you got to explore that on a deeper level. Mingi waited patiently in your living room as you got ready. He took you to a restaurant around the corner, which was a bit more upscale than what you were anticipating. You put on a black body con dress, wearing a light leather jacket to go with it.
Mingi looked at you as if you were made our of the stars. You looked enchanting. And since the fallout, you felt just as amazing.
Being the absolute gentleman he is, Mingi walked you to your front door not just of your apartment building but to your unit. Part of you was contemplating about inviting him inside for a nigh cap, but you really appreciated where things were between the two of you. It felt like Mingi just walked back into your life, and you didn't want to risk losing him again. "Mingi, I cannot thank you enough for this evening," you smiled.
He looked over at you as he led you up the staircase. "It really was long overdue, sweet girl. I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I didn't want to overstep," he confessed. You felt your cheeks get hot at his confessional, looking down as you watched your feet move up the steps. Mingi laughed lightly in response, leaning over to kiss your cheek.
You two soon arrived at your front door. Biting your lip gently, you stood in front of him yet you couldn't bring yourself to detach yourself from him. And deep down, Mingi didn't want you to eat go either.
"So, I gotta ask," you began. "What was this? I mean, was this two friends getting reacquainted with each other or..?" "Or something more?"
Mingi wrapped one arm around you, pulling you in closer. You blushed even harder, a hand going to rest on his chest. Your heart was pounding even after. You were convinced that Mingi could feel it. He opened his mouth to speak but froze when he saw movement behind you. You raised an eyebrow and dared to look over your shoulder, wanting to see what stole your date's attention.
You felt your throat suddenly get dry.
There was Yunho. He was holding a bag of groceries, standing at the top of the steps that led to your respective units. He was staring at the two of you, eyes flickering back and forth. There was no way he just caught his best friend and his old crush together? It was the way you were dressed up for Mingi that rubbed Yunho the wrong way. Was this a date?
Mingi didn't say anything to Yunho. He quickly looked back down at you, offering a gentle smile. His hand on your lower back moved to your hip, squeezing it reassuringly. "How about I'll give you a call when I get home?" He whispered.
You simply nodded. You weren't sure how to even respond. Mingi kept a smile, an attempt to ease your worries. He murmured a goodnight before kissing your cheek lingeringly. Your fingertips grazed his body as he maneuvered around you to head home.
You turned around, to watch him leave. There was no Yunho. Did you imagine the whole thing? You stood there for a moment, trying to wrap your mind around what happened.
Yunho, on the other hand, was in his apartment. He stood with his back against the closed front door, staring ahead of himself. He too was trying to wrap his mind around what he just witnessed.
November 2023
The sound of a door slamming caused you to jolt. It shook your walls a bit. "What the hell?" You murmured. You heard the sound of another door, maybe the same, opening again, realizing it was coming from next door. Yunho.
"You haven't even told me you love me in the past 5 months that we've been dating," Ara screamed.
You shouldn't be eavesdropping, you know you really shouldn't. However, the events unfolding peaked your interest. With having blocked out Yunho pretty much from your life, you had no updates on the relationship or anything about him.
"Maybe because I don't! Have you ever thought about that? That maybe I've been trying to find ways to love you or get myself to love you but I can't be in love with you?!"
Your jaw fell open. Not the update you were expecting.
"This is because of y/n, isn't it?" Ara voice spoke, but you could tell it was shaky. She was scared of knowing the truth, and secretly, you were too. "Honestly? Yeah." "She's with Mingi now. You're with me, Yunho. Get over her." "I can't. I don't think I ever will because if I can't date you and forget about her, how can I date anyone?"
Before you know it, you heard the sound of the door slamming. This time, you recognized it to be the front door to Yunho's apartment. You were staring up at your ceiling.
Well, this makes things complicated again.
New Years Day - December 31, 2023
Mingi was hosting a New Years Eve party at his place. You were invited, seeing as you and Mingi had rekindled your friendship.
The two of you went on several dates before releasing that there were no feelings between the two of you. You cared deeply for one another, but were more like siblings than anything else. The attention he was giving you on those dates is something that you'll never forget. You were grateful for him helping you get back and your feet. And he was grateful that you passed along his number to your best friend.
"Hey, I'm going to go find Mingi," your best friend announced as you entered the party. "Trying to ensure you'll get your New Years Eve kiss from your new boyfriend?" You teased. She rolled her eyes playfully before giggling. She couldn't even deny herself as she nodded her head, confirming your suspicions. "Are you going to be okay if I go over for a little bit? I know he might show up.."
He. Yunho. Since you overheard their argument last month, you two haven't spoken. He hasn't texted you to meet up, but to be fair, you also haven't texted him. You weren't sure what to make out of the whole situation. While you think you want Yunho back, you remember the pain he caused.
You weren't even sure if him and Ara actually called it quits! The fight sounded ugly. And you knew if you heard those words from your significant other, you would have walked out as well. Yet, people constantly get back together even after the worst of storms. Looking at your best friend, you smiled reassuringly and nodded. "Yeah, I think I'm going to be okay. Just be quick? He can have you at midnight but you're still my date for the evening," you teased.
She laughed and nodded, thanking you and giving you a quick hug before rushing to locate Mingi. You shook your head playfully before going over towards the kitchen island. If there was a chance you were going to encounter Yunho, might as well boost your confidence. Seeing a bottle of white wine, you smiled. Mingi remembered. Bonus points for being a screw top.
"So you switched from red wine to white?"
It was almost as if the universe needed a laugh, a way to really close out your 2023. Setting the bottle down, you turned on your heels to see Yunho behind you. He smiled sheepishly, that smile that made you weak in the knees. For a while, you wanted to slap him for what he had done to you. But even after all this time, you wanted to melt in front of him.
Glancing at the bottle, you shrugged. "I guess I just wanted to try something new."
He was attractive as ever. It wasn't fair that after all this time, he could look at you with that soft gaze and you crumble. You wanted to make him jealous, make him regret not taking a chance on you. However, you were ready to gravel if given the chance.
His eyes remained on you. To him, you radiated brighter than before. It was as if you were made out of stars. You captivated everyone's attention with ease, but he wanted you all to himself. He wanted to make things more concrete, never making you doubt or worry again.
"So um," he said. "Ara and I broke up."
You frowned getting confirm of the news. Of course, this worked out in your benefit, but you still didn't like to hear the news. Any sort of heartache is tough.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Yunho. How have you been holding up?" "A lot better than you'd think," he chuckled. "How are things between you and Mingi? Are you guys dating officially now or?"
Your eyes widened slightly. That's right. Last time he saw you, you were about to kiss his best friend after a spontaneous date. You were a bit surprised to hear that Mingi hadn't mentioned anything to him. All you did was motion over to your left side, where Mingi and your best friend were giggling and kissing each other.
Yunho's jaw dropped. You could see his fists clenched but you quickly reached out to rest your hand on his bicep. He relaxed under your touch, gaze softening. He watched them for a moment before it clicked for him that you were touching him. His cheeks reddened, glancing at you before looking down at his feet. "We never got started. I think we were both going on dates because we were missing something," you explained. "Missing something like what?"
He looked at you surprisingly. Yunho's friends always said he was like a golden retriever, but you've never seen it until now. He looked at you like you were holding the golden key to the treasure chest. Literally, you could provide him with the entrance into your world one and for all.
"Missing you," you confessed. "Oh really? How should we fix that?" "Hey, you two, midnight is still 15 minutes away!"
Smack.
The sound of laughter filled the room as eyes went from you and Yunho to Mingi, who just got smacked upside the head by your best friend. It became painfully apparent where you two were. You were standing by all the alcohol at the party, a high traffic area.
"Wanna get out of here?"
You nodded your head, smiling at Yunho. He smiled back at you before grabbing the red wine, the bottle you genuinely liked. To assist, you grabbed two red solo cups. Mingi couldn't trust anyone or himself with glass. With Yunho's free hand, he grabbed your hand and began leading you out of Mingi's unit to the door to the rooftop.
"After you," Yunho gestured, as he pushed open the door with his shoulder.
You smiled appreciatively as you stepped out onto the ledge. A shiver, both from the chilly air of late December to the excitement of New Year's Day. It was always your favorite time of year. Your eyes moved around as you took in the sights of the city from this vantage point.
Yunho made sure you got to the rooftop safely. Setting down the wine bottle for a second, he grabbed one of the bricks to prop the door slightly, not wanting to get the two of you locked out. But boy, would it create a memory for the two of you. Picking up the bottle again, he rejoined you. "This is absolutely beautiful," you stated.
Watching you, he smiled. You wore a smile on your lips as your eyes, he swore, literally sparkled. He wasn't sure if it was from the decorative lights around the city or your pure excitement, but he liked to believe that he had something to do with it. The wind pushed your hair around, revealing your face. "Yeah, the best view," he whispered.
Slowly, he walked up to you. Noticing you were still holding the two solo cups, he took them for you. You watched, thinking he was going to pour a glass for you for midnight as a cheers.
Instead, he stacked the two cups before putting them down on the top of the wine bottle. Maybe he wanted to open the bottle right up at midnight?
Still full of surprises, Yunho took both of your hands in his instead. His thumbs ran over your knuckles. He took a step close to you, closing in on the space that divided you two.
"I think we've spent too much time apart, don't you think, angel?" That nickname. It stirred mixed emotions from you. The last time you heard that nickname, he was smashing your heart into a million pieces that you didn't think could be put back together. Yet, hearing him call you that was like hearing your favorite song from your childhood. He was the only one that called you that. He was the only one who will ever call you that. "I know I fucked up this year. I fucked up so bad," he began. "And I know we have a long road ahead where you could let me into your life again. I don't want to just be the boy next door anymore. I want to be yours. I want to show you that I can take care of your heart, your wellbeing like I should've done this entire time."
No way this was actually happening.
From instead the apartment and around the neighborhood outside, you heard people begin to count down.
10
9
"I can't go back in time and erase what I did."
8
7
"Y/n, I will do whatever it takes to win your trust back. We can take things are you pace," he vowed
6
5
All you could do was smile at Yunho. He was trying to get all the words out that he could. You could see the panic in his eyes that he might end up saying the wrong thing. He was too adorable
4
3
You took a step into him, dropping your hands so they were at your sides. Still holding his hand. Your fingers slipped in between his, which cut him off from speak. Your heart was racing as you gazed up into his eyes. Both of our faces moving towards each other.
2
You decided to step up on your tiptoes. He smirked lightly, always loving how much shorter you were than him.
1
A chorus of "Happy New Year!" echoed from inside the house. You could hear it from other people who gathered on their rooftops and from the street below. Fireworks went off around you, signaling the start of 2024.
"Happy New Year, Yunho," you whispered. Without wasting anymore time, you tilted your head up to fully press your lips against his. His hands left yours to hold onto your hips, keeping you stable. You weren't the type of person from traditions, but this was one you couldn't pass by.
You always learned from your past and took those life lessons into the new year. And it seemed like Yunho was ready to do the same.
He squeezed your hips affectionately, smiling against your lips. You couldn't fight off the smile on your lips as well. His lips chased after yours slowly, wanting to savor this moment but also to show you through his actions that his words carried weight with them. He wanted you to know everything was genuine.
2024 was a new year, a new chapter for you and Jeong Yunho.
350 notes · View notes
ist4rgirlo · 9 months
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────────── 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐜.𝐟
ONE SHOT !
they did say that when two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find a way back to each other. however, are you ready to open your heart again to a person who has broken it in the past?
SEQUEL TO : you’re losing me
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“They say that your first love never dies. You can put out the flame but not the fire”
It was true, for me atleast. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t love Conrad, because I do, I still do — no matter how much he had hurt me before, a piece of my heart is still beating for him.
Time, curious time
Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs
Were there clues I didn't see?
And isn't it just so pretty to think
It wasn’t easy to move on, he made me feel things — things that I never felt before. He was different, he just was.
For two years, I had done my best to put the past behind me, but still, I would often find myself thinking of Conrad and wondering what could have been.
Until one day, when an unexpected text message popped up on my phone. It was from Conrad, of all people. Confused but curious, I opened the message. The only thing that it said was 'Are you free today?’ Could he possibly still care about me, after all this time?
A string that pulled me
Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar
Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire
Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons
One single thread of gold tied me to you
I thought back to the words we had said to each other; the heartache that had been so painful that it had taken so long for me to move on. But still, here he was, wanting to see me. Was I willing to open my heart up to someone who had broken it so badly in the past?
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Conrad asked me if we could meet at the beach near Cousins. I dont know why why I said yes, maybe I wanted closure — maybe I wanted to hear his side.
I stood on the dock, the ocean air getting caught in my hair. Although the sun was out and the sky a brilliant blue,
I couldn't bring myself to take in the beauty of the day. I was too consumed with my thoughts, instead glancing around, distracted and flustered.
I saw Conrad — standing at the end of the shore, a better vision than the view of the ocean I had become accustomed to.
I swallowed hard as I stared into his eyes - the same eyes that had shattered my heart months ago. He looked different. Older, strong, different from the man I had said goodbye to all those months ago.
But there he was, standing in front of me, arms crossed — pain pierced through me like a hot knife as I remembered fond memories I shared with him. Memories that were now tarnished by the hurt he had caused me.
I took a deep breathe and stepped forward — walking towards him.
“Hey Conrad,” I said tentatively.
He looked up with surprise, then quickly looked away. “Hey y/n,” he muttered.
“It’s been so long huh?” Conrad asked. I looked at him before answering “Yeah, It has. I just want to get to the point already. Why did you want to see me?” I asked him.
His eyes met mine, filled with regret and longing. "I never stopped thinking about you," he confessed, his voice laced with raw emotion.
I listened, my heart warring between the past and the present. Memories flooded my mind - stolen kisses, whispered promises, and the crushing pain of betrayal. And yet, beneath it all, the flicker of what once was remained.
"You broke me," I replied, my voice steadying.
Conrad reached out to gently touch my cheek, sending a shiver down my spine. "Please, Y/n," he pleaded, his voice filled with desperation. "What I did was fucked up, you didn’t deserve that — you didn’t deserve to be ignored, I-I should’ve paid more attention to you”
"I messed up, I admit it. I was a fool to let you go. I've regretted it every single day, and I wish I could turn back time and change things." He said, taking a step closer.
I blinked back tears, trying to resist the pull I felt towards him. "Conrad, it's not that easy. You hurt me so deeply, and I've spent so long trying to heal." I said, backing away from him.
"I know," he murmured, his voice cracked with emotion. "But I'm here now, and all I want is a chance to make things right, to prove to you that I've changed. I want to be better for you.”
His words tugged at my heartstrings, and I felt a glimmer of hope. Could we really find a way back to each other? Was it possible to rebuild what had been broken?
Time, wondrous time
Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies
And it's cool, baby, with me
The sound of crashing waves filled the silence between us, punctuating the weight of the moment. I looked into Conrad's eyes, searching for sincerity, I’m scared — scared of risking again. Scared of getting hurt again.
“I-I don’t know, Conn-“ I said looking down, he walked closer — his hands reaching for mine.
“I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, just.. just let me love you. Let me be a better man for you.” he paused “I’ll wait for you”
And isn't it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?
I looked up at him, I saw the glint in his eyes — he was genuine, his voice sounded hopeful — his eyes filled with love. It wouldn’t hurt if I tried again right? maybe now, it’ll be right.
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