#it's fine i can chill here for a while

[skitskatdacat63]

Hiii CATIE!!!!! HIII

Im pretty pretty sure people have already asked BUT HOW WAS ATTENDING THE US GP LIVE!!!! WAS???? TELL ME!! DO YOU HAVE PICS??? I know I know im late.

I ALSO HOPE YOU GOT HOME SAFE AND SOUND AND THAT YOU ARE RESTING NOW+!!!(I saw the chaos you went through im deeply sorry for you :( )

ANYWAYS HOW WAS THE RACE? HOW WAS EXPERIENCING STROLLONSO LIVE?????? AND omg did you get pics of drivers??? :00

You must must share pleaseeeeee.wax.poet

OH MY GOD ELLE SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! IT WAS VERY COOL!!!!! VERY SURREAL!!!!!! I've taken a week to answer this but uhhhh yes I am in fact home now 🥰 I got home at like 1 am which was cool....

First of all I have to mention this! I was fighting for my life walking thru the Austin airport(from sleep deprivation), and I had my Fernando hat on my backpack, right? Some girl comes up to me and asks if I'm going to the GP, I say yes. SHE GAVE ME A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET, I COULD'VE SOBBED 🥹 It says on it "wtf is a km", I'm still so happy

COTA was the first race I ever watched, so to be actually at that track and watch a race live there was extremely surreal! Very hot though my god 😵‍💫 I think last year it was pretty hot, right? And my brother kept sending me the temp and it was pretty okay, and then of fucking course the temp leaps up to 89-97°(31-36° Celsius btw) right in time for the gp....so that was nice(I say as I burn in the sun like a vampire. But don't worry I didn't even really tan at all 😭 I always wore a hat and a lot of sunscreen. And meanwhile my brother was literally a lobster)

(This is a long post):

So unfortunately I missed the drivers parade because my brother and I were dying on Saturday night and his friends wanted to go first thing in the morning, and we're like "we will go later actually 😊" and missed it entirely 😭😭😭 but his friends took pics of Mclaren and Aston for me!!!!! But unfortunately I havent gotten them still, so I'll have to reblog this later with those! I took a lot of pictures of the cars I took from behind the fence, which I think I've posted some of? Lmk if anyone wants those!! They're very random, I just thought it was very surreal to see the cars flying past, so I took a million.

The coolest part was definitely running on track after the race was over!!! Soooooo surreal, and so I'm only gonna post pics rn from Sunday(bcs pic limit on phone) and also I think everything else kinda pales in comparison(but of course lmk if there's anything you're interested in seeing 🤭)

Okay and did I see any drivers...? ONLY ONE BUT AAAAHHHH I DID SEE LANDO!!! Not even one of my favs but it was soooooo surreal to see him, even from afar. As you can see above, everyone standing on the fences was blocking the view 🙄, but during the podium, I was focusing my camera btwn their legs and got literally one second of Lando 😭 I think its a pretty aesthetic clip, so I gifed it!!

It was so funny, I went to the gp with my brother and friends, so all these older guys yeah. And I was showing this off to them on the ride home, and his one friend was praising me so much for it 😭😭 like: "oh my god!!!! You could put this in an edit !!! This is so sick!!!!"

Oh one other thing!!! I think I've mentioned it before but my god, my favorite f1 podiums are always the ones with confetti, right?? AND THERE WAS CONFETTI AT THIS RACE!!!

LOOK AT HOW PRETTYYYYY!!!! And so anyways, I picked up so much confetti off the ground and now it lives forever in my phone case 🥰🥰🥰 I have no other room for pics on this post(for now) but oh my godddddddddd most of the confetti were just rectangles BUT THERE WAS ALSO ONES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS!!! SO COOL!!!!! And I also picked up a bunch of tire marbles off the ground!!! And a piece of plastic that probably came off some car. It was so funny when all of us were just scrounging off the ground. My bro's one friend somehow found a piece of carbon fiber, and we're all like "how can I kill him in his sleep and steal this from him..." But no the highlight actually of that process was watching my brother sprint to the podium, but stopping and grabbing a bunch of gravel first to shove in his pocket 😭😭😭

The other two days were fun as well, but also a lot of just dying in the heat and drinking a fuckton of red bull, so there's not too much specifically to say! I really liked hearing the cars. I think if you wanna know what's actually going on in a race, watching from home is better, but hearing the cars go by and seeing them is just so fucking sick. It was so funny to see grown men be like "I think I'm going to cry hearing these cars." I was really flexing on them with "uhhh yeah I've already been to a gp already 🙄🙄"

Anyways I ended the day by breaking bank by buying my dad and myself Fernando shirts because he is of course Fernando's biggest fan 🥰🥰 and I bought the most delicious overpriced lemonade, which I only drank half of bcs my brother proceeded to accidentally elbow it out of my hand....

OH WAIT ONE MORE DETAIL LOL. On Friday, my brother and his friend were waiting in line for smth and I was talking to them outside of the barrier. I look down, hmm theres a red cap abandoned on the ground, I pick it up, it is in fact a Ferrari hat. And that is how my brother acquired a $40+ dollar hat for free. Lucky bastard....I was the who found it!

#there is my experience kinda summed up???? i #i wanted to wait to answer this until i got all the random misc photos but alas i sitll havent #but its still very sweet to me that theu took pics of the drivers parade for me 🥺🥺 #he was like “here is mclaren!!! and here is aston!!!!” THANK YOU STILL 🥹🥹 #oh fuck wait i forgot to mention a crucial detail #on the wah home from the gp my brother's tire popped 😭😭😭😭 #and im ofc chilling in the car while these three car men(horse girls tbf) change the tire #and theyre all covered in grease and i say “what a great way to end the day!' and his friend turns around anf gives me this face: 😐 #various misfortunes but it was fine!!! it was great!!!!! just tiring #OH YEAH THE KILLERS WAS PRETTY COOL AS WELL!!!!! #basically: everything was sick 😎 #except every time oscar and nando did badly and i would fall dramatically onto the ground bcs that's the type of persom i am #thank you so much for asking elle 🥺🥺🥺 #if you hadnt prompted i prob wouldve never ended up recapping it #all i can say is im incredibly lucky to have all the experiences i did this year #catie.rambling.txt #catie.asks. #*OH MY GOD YEAH ONE THIGN #*i bought a new phone beforew this gp. for this gp tbh. bcs of the camers. i think it paid off pretty well no? 🤭

[altruistic-meme]

why am i sad!!!!!!! where did it come from!!!!!!!!

#ok i know WHY im sad but like bitch we were just vibing hello???? #depression go away im just chilling leave me be #i don't wanna be sad rn!!!!!! #fuck being sad!!!!!!!!!! #i know like i need to feel it but UGH #i also need to send a message i really don't wanna send to my family :')))) #nothing like bad or life altering but i know they're gonna wanna talk to me about it and i Don't Wanna Talk About It With Them rn #so #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggghhhhhhhh #especially 2 of my sisters cus one is the one who is closest to me #and she or her gf are likely going to bring it up after i say it bc they. idk. #they CARE and ik they do but especially her gf can be very prying about things i don't wanna talk about until she gets answers #and my other sister is the only one who has any hint about what im talking about bc i told her not to ask a while ago #but the thing is she DID ask like a month later despite me explicitly asking her not to bring it up 🙃 #so i can't imagine she will respect it this time either #which is largely why i waited until i saw her for the month before sending it #SIGHHHHH i really should just get it over with #alas. i am just here to rant. #this is fine #i don't have any ice cream that SUCKS i should order some #this is an ice cream occasion #shh ac

[stardustdiiving]

From the ship ask! What's a pairing most people seem to like in Genshin that you don't?

(ship asks prompt)

MAN OKAY I honestly could answer this with a good third of popular Genshin ships…but none of these are really solid dislikes, it’s just me feeling specific about how I like to see it executed & finding the way the fandom handles it is either unsatisfying, or generates an environment that kinda stresses me out NJDNCNC

To narrow it down to one I feel matches the question best I think I’m gonna go with Kokomi/Sara. It’s not really an active dislike or anything I promise I’m genuinely chilling. *insane person voice* but see I am just very stressed out with the in universe geo-politics happening in the background of this Genshin impact ship

I MEAN THAT IN A VERY SILLY WAY. but also I do have a genuine elaboration on what i mean which is like…how do I say this.

I really like Watasumi Island and find their existence + circumstances as a nation really interesting, especially regarding their dynamic with the Shogunate—it’s like the one part of inazuman politics that really catches my interest. But see the way I took the way the Shogunate + Watasumi dynamic was being written was specifically that Watasumi is/was suffering from colonization/imperialism at the hands of the Shogunate. I don’t see them as equal enemies on opposing sides of a conflict I’m just kind of like. Oh my god the Shogunate tries to control their primary food sources + military and after the war u see like, Gorou helping smuggle medicine and food supplies to treat their wounded war veterans bc the Shogunate is imposing high taxes on them they can’t afford to pay. The Raiden Shogun slaughtered their deity who was kind of backed into a corner on trying to secure vital resources for his people and to this day his corpse is just sitting on her territory getting ravaged and mined for weapons !! That’s crazy! I like thinking Abt that!

While I think Inazuma suffered from the writers dropping the ball with a lot of things I am generally happy this dynamic is explored/acknowledged repeatedly and Watasumi at least to me doesn’t feel like it’s constantly written in a really meanspirited and shitty way you know. Like, in the medicine supply smuggling thing i mentioned — that’s a route in Heizhou’s hangout that ends in a conclusion that something may have severely hurt the vitality of Watasumi’s land and it’s ability to provide, but that doesn’t mean they won’t survive or all hope is lost, because theres people within Watasumi who care and embody that hope and vitality within themselves and are working hard to build stability and provide for everyone. Like idk that’s really cool and I genuinely found it a really nice narrative that really makes me root for Watasumi

But then we get to Sara & Kokomi and ppl just do not talk about this dynamic between both nations at all from what I see, despite it being really relevant to the characters and in theory the appeal of the ship? And I jusurjfucn I guess it confuses me a lot bc I remember, most recently for example on the TCG event, I was so confused seeing everyone post about their interactions for days about how it was cute they were engaging in card matches together and Sara wanted to be friends…and then I played the event myself and we get this scene where Kokomi is standing off starring out at sea alone, and she talks about how she doesn’t like how she can’t see Watasumi from here, and how that was especially agonizing to experience during the war, and then gets caught up in her memories of the war and talks about how a lot of her people are still recovering from the trauma of it, and how she’s participating in this event bc she’s anxious about wanting to build good relations between the Shogunate and Watasumi so her nation doesn’t suffer more in the future AND IM JUST…MAN

Like I do think I can see Sara & Kokomi being friends, Sara’s character feels like it’s the concept of “individual with genuinely good morals working in an oppressive system doesnt stop the damage the system causes” kind of deal BUT IDK…I get fandom experiences can very anecdotal and I’m sure there are shippers who handle this aspect of the ship but when at large it just feels like it’s filed down to a vague enemies to lovers + contrasting aesthetic girlfriends ship I guess it def leans more towards being one I’m not really into. I think it doesn’t help it strikes the specific fandom pet peeve I have where I sometimes feel ppl water down a lot of wlw ships down to just being surface level cute and I am a lesbian who likes very nuanced and complicated character dynamic exploration so I’m personally just like. Yeah idk I guess this seems rlly widely accepted fanon wise but I don’t rlly click with it at all djjcnfj while I could be interested in this dynamic being explored, just if I were doing my own take on it ik adding romantic tones wouldnt feel super necessary to make it feel more interesting to me personally yk x__x

I just feel very excitable about a lot of genshin things and Watasumi vs Shogunate related things hits that mark of interest for me…definitely not implying the shippers r doing something wrong by making silly lighthearted posts and being less interested in types of analysis I enjoy but I guess that’s the most popular ship I feel the least interested in I can think of?

#fern.txt #asks #ask game #I tried to pick a more specific ship to discuss vs smthng I feel is more standard or expected #in terms of ‘popular ship u habe unpopular opinion Abt’ for genshin #ppl rag on ships like xv and zc a lot in these kinds of contexts n while I get what ppl mean when #they gripe about mischaracterizations but that happens with every ship and I don’t get ppl being hostile Abt either pairings #bc there’s plenty of cases I feel they can be fun and am down/open to interpretations of it….everyone has their own take on their Guys you k #maybe that’s bc anyone ik who likes it on my feed is just rlly nice and chill n I like their posts Abt it #like I 110% know how polarizing fandom can be and how u can get sour Abt things if u run into the wrong ppl enough #but sometimes ppl r so mean #Abt the ppl who like popular Genshin ships in general when i think like all of them r generally fine n maybe it’s me being very #specific in how I think of fandom but all their popularities make sense even with the one I talked Abt here #this one is just the one I guess I would feel i get the least but that doesn’t mean I don’t get it st all JDJNCNC

[nerosdayinanime]

kny x tokyo ghoul au

was thinking abt following tokyo ghoul's storyline and making nezuko get organ donor ghoul-ified like kaneki but on second thought that seems a bit boring. the slayer marks (tanjiro's specifically- that one frame in the red light district arc where he looks like hes absolutely lost it) made me think of the sort of insanity thing with centipede kaneki when he started eating ghouls. (nezuko's bout of literally losing control of herself beating daki is probably a bit closer tho) dont know what to do with that. tanjiro being human and having to keep nezuko safe with her new life as a half-ghoul is pretty cool but i dont know. could make it different

#sakonji as coffee shop owner and sabito & giyuu as workers and the fox squad being the underground Good Ghouls makes me kick my feet #goth/alt vibe makomo as the mask maker MWAH and sabito & giyuu playing as regular college kids. giyuu 'eating' out with friends and #sabito drive-by eating his food before booking it (Sabito-! you bastard!) and later when theyre alone giyuu holding his hair back #(you should stop eating my food all the time..) ((im fine- as long as it makes it easier on you)) #tanjiro working as a server & nezuko more as #. #i forgot hanae-san also voiced Kaneki #what the fuck is it with him and voicing the main characters of anime about the morality of cannibalism #its not much but its weird that its happened twice #i completely fucking forgot abt that and here i am literally putting tanjiro in his place #as i was saying nezuko has a 'job' there but shes not actually employed or forced to work she just hangs around in uniform like her brother #while tanjiro's the one thats employed. shes the cute mascot of the place and sabito gets hype with her and it entertains ppl #sabito nezuko interactions beloved<3 she makes him go big brother mode #giyuu's behind the counter helping sakonji make coffee so he doesnt have to interact with people (as much) #something something also half-ghoul genya being an antagonist at first until tanjiro & nezuko's bond makes him change his mind #and he becomes the newest employee at the coffee shop. que him and sabito bickering at eachother like children and tanjiro being so #sweetfaced and genuinely kind to him & giyuu being a chill comforting presence he can go to #confides in them his fear about his brother and the guilt he feels for being around them bc it puts them in danger #mm #sweet au. great playing field to ruin absolutely everyone #i should rewatch/read tokyo ghoul its been almost a year i think #do that then decide how i want the au to play out if i want it to try to follow that storyline or if i should do some worldbuilding fuckery #of my own instead to completely change how nezuko & genya's half-ghoulness would happen #i remember i dropped tokyo ghoulre but i dont remember why. didnt bother after that Hide scene in the anime but i dont remember y the manga #i was listening to Seijatachi for writing vibes and stared a bit too long at the album image i put #kny #tokyo ghoul #kamado tanjiro #kamado nezuko #kny x tokyo ghoul au

[fleshdyke]

she wants me DEAD

#+ her bald husband just chilling beside her while she tries so fucking hard to scare me off #she is not fond of my entire shift. all because the crew leader was there one time when someone else caught her husband’s toes with a food #dish. so she now absolutely fucking hates everyone she associates with my manager lmao #her husband is bald bc she won’t stop plucking him. she’s been getting a lot better about it though #also btw their cage is wayy bigger than it looks here it just looks small bc i took this with 0.5 angle #and they get a huge tray of fresh cut vegetables and fruit for most of their food it’s just out of frame #they r very happy and well cared for. she just has a chronic plucking issue and the soul of a true hater #their cage is like the size of my bedroom lmao. and they have a whole other outdoor flight that’s like the same size as their indoor cage #there’s no room to fly bc they both have heart issues and she’s missing a part of her right wing so neither of them can fly #they get around fine by climbing on the perches and ceiling though 👍 sometimes i come around to check on them and her husband is just #hanging from the ceiling doing nothing. he’s weird i love him #rambles #birds

[dragonji]

its time for yet another brain game of am i like fully neurotic or was this genuinely not a cool situation . prize is jack shite and yet im playing anyways👍

#j.txt #vent #just like. to preface. im not bringing any of this up im just going to stew in it for the night and then move on as per usual #alright disclaimer made now i can get to the point. So. tonight is my close irl friends bday right but she didnt tell me about any plans #so i naturally assumed she was gonna do her own thing and not really celebrate. Ive had work all day and while working get a text frm her #asking if we want to go to this restaurant i introduced our group to for dinner. so i respond saying oh im off at this time if yall want to #go even tho its late i can. Never get a response so i assume theyll bring it up when i get back. get home and no ones here not a word abt #whats going on. i do my usual unwinding get ready to chill etc which takes abt half an hour. she comes back with our other mutual friends #and theyve already gone to the restaurant which is fine i get it. but they get back and say oh now we're going to this themed music night at #a club we've all been to before as soon as (other friend) changes. and then just. dont offer for me to come along or anything and leave. #which like. whatever its happened a hundred times before im used to it but Still. does it not even occur that I might want to participate?? #if i had Any notice that this was happening I could have been getting ready instead of slacking around waiting for someone to get home #its so. i try extrememly hard not to be a downer or just invite myself to things bc I Know this is how they all operate but it does still #sting that it feels like im not even thought of if i dont happen to be in the room when plans are being made lol. #and obv I am Not bringing this up rn and ruining what im sure was a really fun night for all of them #its just truly a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation yknow. but such are the whims of fate and i shall endure as always✌️

[fightzaynfight]

i go fairly long periods of time not actually looking @ the z°wens tag on here and every time i take a peek in i'm just like

#shut up kell #like. hello .? i'm not here to start shit i'm just baffled by the behaviours truly #they're best friends. they don't hate each other they weren't miserable together. they told a fantastic story and they deserved that moment #even though the rest of the run left a /lot/ to be desired. #but ALSO. not everything they do revolves around one another? they're separate people? they're not going to die while apart? #sz's promo from the other night had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with ko. the match he wrestled had nothing to do with ko. #he is not an accessory that comes with the ko toy. sz is an incredible performer in his own right and he deserves a singles title run #and i'm not gonna lie i was legit devastated when ko turned up on sd. they've been my main fixation this year and emotionally i wasn't ready #but it's okay. they will be okay. they're still best friends in real life. they're still gonna have each others' backs. #but their characters can and should do separate things and do so successfully. like it's okay. #everyone around here needs to get just a little bit normaller about these two. we don't know them. YOU DON'T KNOW THEM. #z°wens is rpf. please remember how rpf is meant to work. remind yourself it isn't real. it shouldn't be causing legit beef between people. #doesn't matter what you think the real “truth” is. you don't. the only people who do are the real men who portray sz and ko. and that's fine #everyone chill i'm literally begging lmfao

[lightspren]

i left work an hour and a half ago and i think, finally, the All Consuming Rage has abated

#kit talks #there’s just so much to do. there’s so. much. to. do. #and i’m interrupted every five minutes #and i can never get caught up #and i do too much but there’s literally no one else to do it #they’re trying to hire more people but people keep quitting #and even besides that there’s like. physically no where in our clinic to put another person #i have a couple coworkers who are genuinely amazing and help as much as they can #but they’ve both got their jobs too and can’t always help #i’m just. i’m so frustrated and so tired. #i’ve been back at work three (half) days and it’s just. I don’t know how to balance this better #i don’t need advice btw it’s all complicated and ‘talk to your supervisor’ or similar won’t work #like literally my supervisor and office manager are just as overworked #what i really need to do is stop fucking caring. stop caring if i’m being nice while i’m doing 300 things #stop caring if i get shit done. stop caring if it’s backed up. i need to give less shots #*give less shits #but i’m not sure i’m like. capable of that lmao #no chill all the caring all right here #ugh. it’s fine. it’s fine. i’ll go play pokémon about it.

[possiblytracker]

knowing im going back to uni in less than 2 months makes me feel violent but at least right now everything is fine. great, even. I am loafing around by a poolside in the mediterranean tearing apart a pomegranate with my bare hands, my earphones noise cancelling and my crops watered and my skin clear. all of my problems have time to bite me in the ass later i need to get the worst sunburn of my life and eat this fruit like some kind of deranged animal

#we never go places like this usually bc 4 kids is expensive to take on holiday abroad especially to like. cool places #but this is the country we lived in for a while when i was a little kid bc my dad was stationed out here for military stuff #so we've been saving up to come back here specifically for a long ass time. 12 years! #and as my mum has put it this is gonna be the last of the big family holidays i think. going out with a bang fhfjhkh #i may be longing to use my drawing tablet again and scrambling to satisfy the adhd but i can chill for a bit it's fine

[elegyofthemoon]

What are your ultimate faves?

HRM if i had to pick ultimate faves i'd probably have to go with albedo thoma and eula :D which i probably dont talk a lot about but ahaha i feel like theyre the ones that probably haunt me a LOT which is particularly funny w thoma bc hes Just Some Guy BUT he is one of my comfort characters for a reason

#and if you want to hear me ramble heres my long tag rambles: #albedos a synthesized human but for one who isnt human he feels very human #AND as someone who doesnt like to fall into think pessimistically about the world i appreciate his focus on beauties in life (while also #(acknowledging the bad ahahaha) #thoma's just like. the best kind of friend ! idk how to explain it without like bawling my eyes out super hard #AND THEN THERES EULA #SO OKAY EULA. HER WHOLE BACKSTORY OF TRYING TO STRIVE FROM HER BAD BACKGROUND TO MAKE A PLACE FOR HERSELF #TO PROVE SHE CAN BE GOOD - THAT SHE CAN BE MORE THAN THE BAD FAMILY NAME #THE STRUGGLE MAKES ME SEETHE AND MAKES ME ACHE SO HARD #like like like like listen #if you have the time #and if youre down for like chill (sad) song. please listen to stay down by boygenius #its a very eula song to me and it makes me want to eat wood :)! #answered #anons #o also albedos development is so lovely aaaaaaaa #AND HIS VOICE IS VERY NICE LMAOOO THATS WHY I GLUED MY EYEBALLS ON HIM #i didnt care for his design too much until he spoke and i went '...ok. fine i suppose' #game said 'eat shit heres your new fave character ever' #OH WAIT WAIT WAIT ONE MORE THING ABOUT ALBEDO #rather than the cold researcher characters! hes a very warm and compassionate researcher!! and thats why it makes #it all the better to enjoy listening to him ramble about life and bio and blahblahblahblah #BUT ANYWAYS hi. thats enough of me rambling about albedo 🤡

[captainshadowshifter]

Yknow, I think there should be like. A similar kind of general rule with rollercoasters and thrill rides that there is with drinking - know your limits

#tw vomit #example of this? #yesterday when we were waiting to go on galactica (air it will forever be called air to me) #some ppl a couple rides ahead of us threw up after the ride stopped. #in the bit where you just dangle for a bit waiting to go into the station to get off the ride #now. air rlly isnt that intense. its pretty damn chill. but if youve been going on like nemesis and the smiler and oblivion all day? yeah. #it was. EVERYWHERE. all over the floor. i may be dramatising this but thats how it looks to someone with a bigass phobia of it #i have never gotten off a rollercoaster so fast in my life (i fucking love rollercoasters i hate getting off them) #ON THE FLIPSIDE kiwi doesnt have as strong a stomach as i do. but they are aware of it #when they started feeling nauseous (thx blade lol) they told me and we sat for a while before going on any more rides #drank water n shit #and guess what? they were COMPLETELY FINE #i think what im tryna say here is like. YES you wanna get on everything before it closes. but always remember to put your health first #bc that shit can ruin your whole day and everyone elses around you #... on a side note i went on oblivion again for the first time in 8 years and. NOPE. NO THANK YOU. NOT GOING ON IT AGAIN TIL 2032 THANK YOU

[persistent-wallflower]

A bit tired of having to deal with my mind, ngl. 🤷‍♂️

#I've got a friend who's lovely and #at the party I've been at she sort of said to this guy that I'm staying here longer just like he does #since most of our group leaves soon #well she was subtly trying to sort of get us to spend some time together possibly. and that felt really nice #but I just jumped straight to internal embarrassment because now it's like I feel like I'm being put out there just to be rejected #because I feel like there's nothing I can really offer #and idk I liked that guy when we talked even though I was feeling quite shy and #I sorta wish I just could remain as 'not an option' so I didn't have to face rejection because I take it so badly in any form #and I don't even know what he thinks bc it's not like I showed interest. Just in case he wouldn't want anything to do with me uhh #so yeah humiliation is my go to feeling #and I don't have the strength to take any chances cause what if it all goes wrong like always #I overthink it I know but this is something that should be nice and chill and #I always find a way to turn things like that into torture #being aware doesn't change what I feel inside. If he wasn't interested for whatever reason and I was ok with it because we just met and #it's no big thing that'd be cool. If he wanted to hang out that'd be cool too. but I just always think I'll embarrass myself #so I'll just do nothing and hope nobody will notice to avoid rejection while feeling sad bc maybe someone would like me and I won't know #how can you live like this how can you live like this #that's fucked up but I'm fine and let's just go back to normal boring uneventful life ok. #about me

[fourteenthz]

I just think this rn has permanently changed my brain chemistry.

also more about the cut just bc I gotta talk abt this:

they don't deserve it. neither of these 4. i'm unwell.

#I think that post will be just a nishiki and kiryu post so if you excuse me making yet another yakuza 0 post update in like less than 2h #this one got me sobbing. #yakuza 0 spoilers #yakuza spoilers #I know everybody played this game already but God forbide I spoil this shit to anyone. #kelly says #kelly plays ykz #I have thoughts.... many. and they all resolve around me being so damn weak about siblings relationship and the like. I just need makoto #to be so well at this moment. I need this girl just. well. for one second. goodamn where is majima can't he fix her watch and just give thi #woman 1 second of peace. SHE REALLY. FUCK I forgot she doesn't know he's alive haha IM GOING TO BITE my monitor. #I need to forget this game exists why are they like this...... this is so stupid why did I really thoughts tachibana was going to be alive #in the next games.......... I really don't know shit abt this franchise and I can't even guess at this point and HEAR ME OUT.... I'M SO GOO #AT GUESSING.......... to no vail. it's fucking me up so bad the fact that nishiki is here too. i'm so happy he is but this is just so #so messed up fr. once nishiki said 'how did it come to this' in that fucking scene to kiryu I have never been the same #now everything that happens to them and specially when they are together that sentence just shows up in my head to end me ig #idk I don't even have much to say here I just needed everybody to know that they are just two pairs of siblings. makoto and tachibana #+ kiryu and nishiki are just. two pair of kids. bagging my head on the wall HOW DID IT ALL COME TO THIS.... HEADS IN HAND. #insane to me that nishiki imediatelly compelled to kiryu's words and brought makoto and just never saw kiryu bawling his eyes and #pretty much declaring his position to kuze. yeah. right. that won't live in my head for the next hour while I play with majima or anything #it's 5am tho I should stop I just genuinely. need. like. anything. to feel ok. hoping here they can meet soon. please. #i really said I was doing another post so that one can just be my nishiki + kiryu post and proceeded to talk about nishiki and kiryu for 50 #of this post's tag........... alright. #majima's crazy ass self and silly moments save me.... save me majima sillyness.... or kll sagawa that's fine for me too anyway #me and my homies want to destroy dojima *thumbs up* #I was so scared kiryu was going to kill kuze at that moment my life flashed before my eyes but he's still just. so decent. I just cannot fo #my life stop just seeing this man kicking absolutely every body's ass hundred times over and how it always comes down to how much he cares. #do you think..................... do you... think it's harder for nishiki to watch that scene bc of makoto tachibana or kiryu? #having siblings fucks you up in the head btw. I can never enjoy a damn story with brothers anymore without bawling my eyes out. #holding sega on the shoulders. pls chill. let them breath let me breath PLEASE. #anyway.......majima save me.

[real-life-cloud]

:((

#the sky speaks #vent moment again ✨ #moms not coping well #i can hear her sobbing up there rn #she took a shower at least #depending on how high her alcohol levels were. she might need to go to jail for a little while #but we still don't know and the anticipation is killing her #it could be upwards of a 5k fine #and ahes probably going back to rehab or something like it #im at the point where im not really feeling anything anymore #some good things have happened tho #i took a walk at the park yesterday #and like 10 minutes in. i squint at a figure across the park and i go. is that my fucking brother??? #so i call him. and he doesbt pick up. typical. and then i call his gf instead and she picks up and im like heyyy. r u at the park rn? #and turns out yes it was them and we meet up and shoot a basketball for like an hr and just chill #it was nice #they told me i can crash at their place whenever #but then i get home again and its just ao fucking quiet here #im starting to hate the quiet

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

[omgeto]

☆ COVER UP — tattoo artist!GETO SUGURU

summary: all you wanted was a cover up tattoo to replace the name your ex left on you. you didn't think you'd be leaving the tattoo shop with a replacement for your ex's tattoo and a replacement for him as well.

wc: 3k

cw: afab!reader, geto gives you backshots, he's kinda obsessed w/ your ass here, unprotected sex (since I forget condoms) BUT he's a gentleman pulls out </3 your kinda a meanie. he's kinda a meanie so light angst (?) but barely. MDNI

an: haven't posted a longer work in a hot minute, but here is how you meet tattoo artist boyfriend!geto soooo give this one a chance big fanks to my lil twat @kazushawty for helping me out and reading bits of it.

as you push open the heavy glass door of ‘cursed ink studios,’ a subtle bell chimes softly, announcing your presence. instantly, the atmosphere inside crackles with an electric charge. the air is thick with the intoxicating scent of ink, mingling with the sterile bite of antiseptic. the walls are adorned with vivid flash art form a chaotic tapestry, while the rhythmic hum of a tattoo gun echoes through the room.

and there he is, geto suguru – a tall, enigmatic figure with jet-black hair and sleeves of mesmerising tattoos that seem to tell stories of their own. he sits at his workbench, surrounded by an array of ink bottles and tattoo machines, his piercing eyes never leaving the art he's creating. a carefully curated playlist of music plays softly in the background, punctuated by the occasional buzzing of the tattoo gun.

he glances up from his intricate work as you enter, his gaze slowly travelling up and down your form. there's a hint of curiosity in his eyes, as though he's wondering why you, of all people, have ventured into his sacred space. his expression, however, suggests that he's far from thrilled about the interruption.

"need something?" he asks, his irritation evident.

"i need a cover-up” you swallow your nerves, holding your head high, your voice steady, ”my ex's name."

geto raises an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed by your request. "ex's name, huh? you people never learn."

your jaw clenches at his condescending tone. "well, i'm here now, so can you do it or not?"

he continues to scrutinise you, his gaze feeling like a judgmental weight. finally, he nods, albeit reluctantly. "fine, show me."

with a sigh of resignation, you turn around, your heart pounding as you pull down the waistband of your jeans just enough to reveal the offending name covering your left ass cheek. it's a constant reminder of a relationship gone wrong, and you're more than ready to be rid of it.

"this won't be easy," he mutters, his fingers cool against your skin as he traces the outline of the name. his touch lingers, just a little too long, sending an unexpected shiver down your spine. his fingers, skilled and confident, continued to trace the inked letters of your ex's name on your skin — almost toyingly. and you could feel the chill of the tattoo parlour's air-conditioning contrasted by the warmth of his touch.

his voice, though still gruff, held a trace of disgust "who did this?" he asks, not looking up from the tattoo.

you hesitate, your memories of that past relationship flooding back. "my ex-boyfriend," you reply tersely.

geto's fingers stop their tracing, and he lets out a low, almost imperceptible sigh. "you let your boyfriend do a shitty tattoo on you, and you let him make it his name," he mutters, more to himself than to you. "you practically let him brand you."

“is it your job to be such a bitchy artist?” you snap, already fed up by his comments. you’ve heard it from your parents, your friends, ever since you got that trashy tattoo. but couldn't disagree with that sentiment — you knew it was a shit tattoo. “i thought i was paying you for your artistry, not your smart mouth.”

"listen," he growls, his voice low and dangerous. "you walk in here with that god awful mess on your skin, and you've got the nerve to criticise my attitude? if you want to be rid of it, you'll do well to keep that attitude in check, sweetheart."

you bite back a retort, realising that you've indeed crossed a line with your comment. there's a palpable tension in the air now, a simmering anger beneath the surface, and it seems that geto has no intention of backing down.

with a deep breath, you swallow your pride and offer a reluctant apology. "i'm sorry," you mutter, a touch of remorse in your voice. "i shouldn't have snapped at you."

he continues to hold your gaze for a moment, his expression still stern, before finally nodding. "apology accepted."

you didn’t actually have an idea of what you wanted for the cover up, you just knew you needed it gone. geto was a highly sought out cover artist so you had no doubt that he’d be able to do you good. with your initial meeting being heated, you thought it was best to leave him to do his thing.

with a sense of relief that the confrontation has subsided, you decide to give geto some space to work his magic. "i'll leave you to it," you say, your voice quieter now, and you turn away from him.

"good," he mutters, his focus fully on his ipad as he starts to sketch, not even looking as you leave the shop. 

geto usually was quick to draw up tattoo sketches for clients, but when it came to you he was stunned — too busy thinking about how your ass looked rather than what he was meant to tattoo on it. from the moment you stepped in his shop, he was intrigued, you didn’t see the type to get work done by him and the marking stretched on your ass didn’t seem like it would belong to someone with an attitude like yours. 

his mind was anything but focused on the design. he couldn't help but replay the encounter with you in his thoughts, your brashness and the way you'd stood your ground, even under his scrutiny.

"why the hell did she get that shitty tattoo?" he mutters to himself, his fingers deftly working his pen. the sketch was beginning to take shape, but his mind kept drifting back to the curve of your ass. he couldn't deny the attraction he felt, and it frustrated him. he was supposed to be a professional, detached from his clients beyond the art he created on their skin. but something about you had thrown him off balance.

“so you ready to get this tatted on you?” is the first thing he asks when you return the following day. you inspect his sketches in awe, of course you never doubted his talent but you didn’t think he’d be able to draw something you wanted without you even having to say.

“well it seems you do live up to your reputation,” you comment with a neutral facade, but you both know that you were downplaying your excitement — you were pleased. and like with any client, that made geto satisfied that he was doing his job correctly. but when he saw the way your eyes lit up when he initially showed you the sketches, it was a sight he wanted to see again. “i guess we can start the tattoo.”

“okay i’ll get my stuff set up, get rid of those,” he says nodding towards your jeans, “and lay down when you’re ready.” you slip yourself out of your bottoms, leaving the itty bitty thong that you knew you’d need for the appointment and that a small part of you hoped he liked.

he pauses when he sees you laying down on the seat in his station, your head resting in your arms, your ass slightly raised.  ‘this is gonna be a long session,’ he thinks to himself as he smirks, shaking his head as he works his way to his seat.

as he sits down, he places the stencil over your ass, and you berate yourself for getting giddy at the feeling of him rubbing over the design to make sure it was in place — wishing that his hand stayed for longer. 

“how are you with pain?” he asks, and from the way you were laying you weren’t able to see the way he was gawping at your ass.

“what type of pain?” you retort.

“y’know the type of pain where someones drilling into your ass for hours,” he comments as if it’s obvious but you both knew his words were hinting at more than just the tattoo.

“choice words there,” you muse, “but any type of pain i’m alright with, so give me your best.”

geto's needle hovers just above your skin, poised for action. "you sure about that?" he murmurs, his voice low and suggestive.

a coy smile tugs at your lips as you respond, "I can handle it if you can."

with a deliberate, almost tantalising slowness, he lowers the needle to your skin. the first touch is a sharp, stinging sensation, but you refuse to flinch. you're determined to hold your own, to meet geto's challenge head-on.

he continues to work, the needle dancing across your skin with a practised precision. the room is filled with the rhythmic sound of the tattoo machine, creating a hypnotic backdrop to your growing tension.

as minutes turn into hours, you find yourself lost in a strange mixture of pleasure and pain. the pain is undeniable, but there's something oddly exhilarating about it. you steal a glance at geto, his intense focus on his work, and you can't help but wonder if he's enjoying this as much as you are.

"still doing okay?" he asks, his tone a mix of concern and something more primal.

you bite your lower lip, suppressing a moan that threatens to escape. "i told you, i can handle it."

geto smirks, his gaze locked on your ass as he continues to tattoo. "you've got quite the threshold for pain. impressive."

“is it really? i'm sure you’ve worked on a lot of other clients with higher thresholds for pain.”

“but none of them have had an ass like yours though,” he mumbles to himself — but you hear him loud and clear, a grin forming on your face at the confession. “anyways, we’re all done now, go ahead and look in the mirror.”

you stand in the full length mirror, your head slightly turned at an angle as you gawp at your ass. your eyes widen seeing what was once your shitty exes name, now turned into a piece of true art. 

“so what d’you think?” he asks, and you didn’t even notice him coming to stand behind you until you felt his breath on the back of your neck, “this shit is hot right?”

“you can say that again,” you agree, keeping your eyes focused on the tattoo, trying to ignore the quickening of your heart beat at the presence of him, “this is really great though, like i couldn’t imagine my ass could look this good after having that tattooed on on it all his time.”

“well no need to imagine anymore,” geto’s face forms a smiling grin, you can tell he was admiring way more than just his artwork, “you mind if i take a picture… for my instagram?” he says, barely asking as his phone is already out of his pocket and is in his hands, he looks up at you for permission and you give a slight nod before he’s snapping away at your ass.

“are you sure this is for your instagram,” you tease, as he continues to take photos crouched down, as he circles your ass with his phone, “or is this just for your personal wank bank?”

“would you like it to be?” he retorts back swiftly, there wasn’t even any mischief in his eyes as he looks up at you, just pure lust.

“um i–” you stutter, only now feeling exposed — as if he hadn’t been working on your ass already for the past six hours.

“don’t get shy on me now,” he coos, standing up to face you head on, “y’gonna let me finish off making you forget that ex or yours or what?”

“be my guest,” you respond, trying to come across as nonchalant, but the eager look in your eyes gave geto all he needed to know. 

he pushes you softly, as he commands, “hands against the mirror and spread your legs.” and you do just that, as he comes behind you, fitting in between your legs perfectly. his hand forces ur back down, deeping the arch of your spine before both of his hands grab onto your ass.

geto really rubs and digs his thumbs into your cheeks, biting his lip at the sight at the way his fingers mould into your ass. “fuckk man,” he groans out, he’s not even in you yet and he was already obsessed with every inch of you. 

he frees his dick from his pants, and pumps it quickly before sliding it across your already gushing slit. you hiss at the contact, a pleased smile working its way on your face as the tip of his dick edges into you.

“s-shit,” you stammer, as he inches himself into you deeper, “w-what about the rest of the shop?”

“what about them?” he shrugs, “you don’t want them to hear naught you’re being right now? HEY GUYS—”

“oi,” you hiss out, your eyes widening as you turn your head to look directly at him.

“i’m just playing, i’m not ready to share you quite just yet,” he retorts, his dick moving in you at an achingly slow pace, “now, keep your eyes focused on the mirror, and you better not let those hands slip.”

before you can respond, he thrust his hips into you as deep as he could, his dick slamming into you. you moan out at the surprising force, trying your best to keep your palms flat on the surface of the mirror, as you stare straight at him — watching how he works his hands from your ass to your hips so he can drive into you with all of his force. 

“this pussy is s-so fucking good,” he praises, the sloppiness of your cunt making it easy for him to slide his dick in and out of you. “oh and this ass,” he continues giving a hard spank on your ass cheek, to emphasise his point, “c’mon throw your ass back on my dick, i wanna see it bounce.”

you fuck him back, doing exactly as he says, your ass meeting his hips with the same amount of force. his spanks encourage you to be quicker, to give him everything he wants. his repeating, strong strokes, have you feeling weaker, your hands slipping as you try to stay up right, when all you want to do is collapse and cum everywhere. 

“f-fuckk it’s too much,” you whine, as he drills into you.

“nah,” he says, shrugging his head, “it’s not enough,” he lifts up his legs, his digits pressing into your deeper, as he now angles his strokes even further into your pussy, hitting your spot with ease. “give it to me harder, i know you can” he encourages, another two swift spanks landing on your ass.

with his continuous contact of your ass and his hips, and the way his dick pushes into you deeper, you felt like you were splitting in two. but you kept going, thinking back to your earlier conversation, you didn’t want to prove him wrong, you wanted to show him that you can handle it, handle him.

geto was practically beaming, licking his lips feverishly at the sight of your fucked out face through the mirror as he watches himself plough into you, your body rocking forward with every thrust. his eyes concentrate on your ass, as he says, “d’you see how your rocking my work on you now?” and you nod dumbly, too busy trying to reach your climax to string a sentence together, “so fuck that ex of yours and his shitty ass tattooing, from now on you only can me on your body, you got that?” he asks and you nod again, but he shakes his head, his hand moving from your waist to your chin as he grips it making your eyes stay locked on his through the mirror, “i said do you got that?”

“ahhh s-shit yet i do, i do,” you say, mirroring his words, “i will only have you on my body, ‘promise.”

“good girl,” he approves, giving your chin a squeeze before letting go, “now cum.” 

with those simple words, you release all over him, your stance getting weaker, as you shoot out cum all over his dick. he’s quick to pull out of you though, stroking his dick as he sprays his cum all over your ass, with a deep groan.

your hands are still on the wall, as you take deep breaths, trying to recollect yourself. but you turn around swiftly seeing a flash of a camera behind you, and geto is back to crouching down, with his phone out, taking pictures of your cum covered ass.

“you mind if i keep these in my wank bank forreal this time?” he asks, smirking as you nod, “i’ll take some more later, but i got two questions to ask.”

“and those are…” you say, prompting him to continue.

“first, let me take you out after this?” he asks with a smirk, already knowing the answer. after the way he just dicked you down, you’d be a fool not to let him wine and dine you, “second, y’gonna come suffocate my face with that ass of yours or not?” you couldn’t even answer the second question since he’s pulling you down to the floor with him, with a joyous grin on his face.

AN: IGNORE THE FACT THAT HE CUMS ALL OVER UR FRESH TATTOO. LIKE JUST IGNORE IT. just focus on the fact that you have a lovely ass and geto loves it too. but yes do you want to see more, I HAVE ENOUGH IDEAS TO EVEN MAKE A LIL MASTERLIST FOR IT. I love tattoo artist boyfriend!geto so so much, like when u guys become an established relationship it actually gets so good. BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE THIS ONE, BUT IF U GUYS FW IT I PROMISE ILL ACTUALLY WRITE AND POST THE ONES I LOVE. BUT I FELT LIKE I HAD TO WRITE THIS FIRST SO YOU COULD SEE HOW U AND GETO STARTED. LMK UR THOUGHTS

#stampedwithanE★ #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #geto x reader #geto smut #geto suguru smut #geto suguru x you #geto suguru x reader #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader