#it's funny that it took less time for tumblr to do that update

[andreafmn]

Speak | Chapter 10

Word Count: 3.5K Story Description: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf. Chapter: 10/? Warnings: emotional and mental abuse A/N: can't believe I finished this on schedule! the story everyone is obsessed with for some reason just got updated😂🤍 My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffee TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post!  Taglists for Twilight get filled quick and Tumblr only lets me tag up to a certain point. Notifications are your best bet.

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Chapter 10

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Jacob suddenly asked as the pair made their way to his truck. "It's already so late and I don't wanna make the drive back to Forks right now."

"Uh, sure, that sounds great," she said, trying to contain her excitement. A surge of happiness took over her as she witnessed Jake trying. He was trying to keep them together, at least that's what it looked like to her. "I'll just let dad know."

"Yeah, sure."

After she had settled on the center of the seat, Jacob helped his father into the truck, stepping out to say goodbye to his friends.

"I'll let you know that there won't be any funny business under my roof, (Y/N)," Billy smiled teasingly. "Though I am glad that Jacob is seemingly trying to turn over a new leaf this new year."

"I promise we'll do nothing but sleep, Billy," she chuckled. "And I also hope this is a new start for Jake and me. That everything that happened stays in the past and we can just give it our all in this relationship."

"If it is meant to be, (Y/N), the universe will find a way," he said as mystically as he always spoke. "You deserve happiness, my child."

"People keep saying that," she responded, her eyes growing far more interested in the skin of her fingers. "Does no one think that Jake can make me happy?"

"That's not what I'm saying, (Y/N)," he smiled, his hand falling on top of the one she was picking. "All I am saying is that if the love and happiness that you deserve is with Jacob, then the universe will allow it."

"And if not?"

"Then, your paths will always align."

"Then let's hope that what's written on the stars is in our favor." And as she said that she didn't know if she was wishing that to convince him or to convince herself.

The three of them rode back to the Black residence in a comfortable silence. The sounds of the woods and the whistling of the wind filled their quiet. She wondered what they said. If they whispered words of encouragement or if they taunted her downfall. She wanted to believe it was the former, because the latter would wreck her.

"Well, you two. I trust that you will behave yourselves since you're under my roof," Billy told them, eyeing the teenagers suspiciously. "And don't start getting used to these sleepovers. This is only because it's already two in the morning and we are all tired."

"Dad," Jacob grumbled. "Just go to bed already."

"Ooh, never thought I'd be shooed away in my own home," the man chuckled. "But I will leave you two. Not because you told me so, but because I am tired. Good night, kids."

"Night, dad."

"Good night, Billy."

Billy rolled away to his bedroom, turning in for the night. He left the couple standing in the living room, a heavy and tense air blowing between them. They had yet to acknowledge everything that had happened between them, much less finally putting it to rest.

"Uh, I'll get you some clothes and you can shower first if you want," Jacob mumbled as he walked into his room before coming out with a folded t-shirt and some sweatpants. "Might be a bit big on you, but it's better than nothing. There're extra towels under the sink."

"Sure," she smiled. "Thanks."

There was still remnant awkwardness between them as they tried to waltz around unspoken words. She locked herself in the bathroom, finally allowing herself to breathe. Fresh start is what she told herself. Over and over again she told herself that they were having a fresh start. As she showered and cleaned away Paul's touch and the thought of him, she had to believe it.

Jacob was who she had always wanted. The boy she had grown up with, the one she had never forgotten. Still, her mind wondered what would have happened if Paul had been the one she had met first. If he had been the boy that was in her mind for the almost sixteen years she had been alive. Maybe she would have been standing in his bathroom instead of Jake's. Maybe she would have been wearing his oversized t-shirt.

"Hey," Jacob called softly from the living room as she opened the bathroom door. "Come here."

(Y/N) walked down the hallway to where he was, a smile stretching on her face as she was met with what Jake had done while she showered.

He had pushed aside the wooden coffee table that lived between the sofas and placed in its stead plush blankets and pillows, a pair of hot chocolate mugs in front of the fireplace. His long, wet hair was plaited back, and he had changed into pajamas. And he was waiting for her.

"What's all this?" (Y/N) smiled.

"I think it's about time we put things to rest already, (Y/N)," he said, patting the pace in front of him. "I don't like fighting with you."

"I don't like it either," she sighed contentedly as she sank into the warmth of his body, his arms wrapping around her. "I like things when they're like this. When we're together and happy."

"I know, and I want it to be like this all the time. But it can't be when I hear you're running around with Paul," he reminded her. His tone was soft, but his words were as snipping as a snake's bite. "I just can't stand the guy and it's embarrassing when it happens in front of the town."

"Jake, I..."

"Don't worry, baby, that's all in the past. As long as you promise not to see him again, (Y/N). I don't want you to fall into his trap."

(Y/N) couldn't remain quiet for long. She knew it would only work to anger him. But how could she promise something she didn't want to do? Something that her gut told her was wrong. "Of course," she lied. "I promise. Paul is a thing from the past."

"That's what I like to hear," he smiled before he turned her head to kiss her. "We need to focus more on us. Focus on our relationship."

"I would love that," she beamed. "I want this to work, Jake. I want us to work."

"Then let's," he smirked.

Jake attached his mouth to her neck, nipping at a spot that took her breath away. His hand held her head back, gripping her jaw. He took in her scent, the warmth of her skin, the sounds from her mouth. All as he imagined...

"Stop, Jake," she said, her voice treading between a moan and a chuckle. "Your dad is literally down the hall."

"He's a heavy sleeper," he chuckled against her skin. "He'll never know."

"No, Jake." She separated from him; a playful grin splayed on her mouth as she turned to face him. "Not here. Not now."

"Ugh, fine," he groaned, falling on his back. "Then, I guess we'll just sleep."

"Yes," she mused, crawling over his body and planting a soft kiss on his lips. "But together."

Jacob wrapped his arms around her and chuckled, positioning both of them comfortably on a blanket and draping another over them. Her body curled into his, his arms wrapped around her waist as he spooned her.

"We'll have to talk about taking things to the next level," he said against her ear, his breath tickling her skin. "I think it might cement everything between us."

"And I think you need to take a breather, Jacob," she chuckled. "We just got to a good place. Let's take things as they go."

"Ugh, fine," he muttered jokingly. "Then, let's just go to sleep."

"Alright, Jake. Good night."

"Night, (Y/N)."

If every night after was like this one, maybe it was the universe's way of telling her that Jake was the one. Laying there, wrapped in his arms, she could let herself believe that the tides were changing. That at the end of the day, Jacob would choose her. Maybe, just maybe.

***

"I can't believe she went home with him," Paul groaned, punching a nearby tree. The way the bark splintered helped ease his anger for a second, but the burning pain inside his chest remained. "I don't know what else I can do to make her understand what a shitty guy he is."

"You know there is," Jared teased. "You could always tell her how you feel and why."

Paul's stoic stare was clear even in the darkness of the night. He knew Jared was right. The more he pursued her without telling her the reason why, the harder it would be to explain his behavior. "You know I can't, dude," he grumbled. "I don't wanna put her in the middle of all of this bull."

"It's not that bad, man," the boy offered. "Look at me and Kim. She knows and nothing has happened to her."

"Yeah, she also liked you before you were a shapeshifting freak," he joked. "And look at Emily. She's forever scarred because didn't have a grasp on what was happening."

"Come on, you know that was an exception, Paul. What happened to her was a very unfortunate accident. But an accident, nonetheless. There's really no reason for you to be running from (Y/N)."

"Look how much shit happened to Bella in so little time, Jared. And it all started when she found out the truth about the Cullens," Paul said. "I don't know what I would do if I made (Y/N) go through any of that because of what I am."

"So you're gonna continue brooding and make our lives miserable? Just tell her, man. Maybe she'll fall in love with you and turn that frown upside down."

Paul picked up a stick and threw it at Jared's head, laughing as the other boy tried to duck but failed to; the piece of wood bouncing off his forehead. "You'll have to put up with me for a lot longer then," he laughed, swallowing the sadness that threatened to overtake him. "I just don't think I have it in me to do that to her. She deserves to be safe and happy."

"Even if it's with Jacob?"

"Unfortunately, that decision is hers to make," he sighed. "I just wish she didn't have to get hurt in the process."

Jared remained quiet for a second. He stared as his pack brother paced before him, his mind too quiet aside for the sporadic image of (Y/N). But even if he didn't say it, he could feel Paul's sadness. He could feel the tug in his chest that called him to go to her. He had felt it too. Every time Kim had to go to a family dinner or visit family out of state, he felt like someone had taken his heart off his chest and sent it away.

But (Y/N) was so close. All he had to do was have one tough conversation and he could soften the grasp of the claws that covered his heart. "What are you so afraid of, Paul?" Jared finally said. "I know you say you don't want to hurt her and all that, but there's something else. Isn't there?"

Paul stared at his friend, wondering if he was that transparent. "I've never been a, uh, a relationship guy. Haven't had the best role models," he confessed. "I guess I think that if I let myself get close to her, I won't be able to handle when she inevitably goes. Because at the end of the day, everyone leaves."

"Not everyone, Paul. We're still here."

"Because you have to be," he shrugged. "If you had the chance to go, you would take it. And don't try denying it."

"Come on, man. You're my friend. More than that, you're my brother," Jared reassured. "But, sure, if I had the chance to leave the rez one day, I would take it. But that doesn't mean I would leave my friends behind. Much less, family."

"Jared, we wouldn't have even spoken to each other had it not been because of the shift. I'm not that delusional to think otherwise."

"Regardless of how or why it happened, life brought us together, Paul. And whether you like it or not, you're my brother now," the boy smiled, draping his arm over Paul's shoulders. "Now, you need to let that girl prove that she would stick by you as well. And it starts by having that difficult conversation you're so scared to have. She's desperate for a reason, dude. All you have to do is tell her."

"She's going to think I'm crazy, J. That I'm making up stories to get her away from Jake," Paul whined. "Why would she believe that there are shapeshifting wolves roaming around the reservation protecting humans from threats? And what if she goes to her sister with the story? Then Bella will know about vampires and shapeshifters, and it'll just add more shit on top of the mess we're dealing with."

"How about you stop overthinking yourself into the ground and finally grow some balls?" Jared teased. "Don't think of what might happen and live in the moment. I know last year's Paul would've had the courage to ask her out. Jacob or no Jacob."

"I technically already asked her out once, and it ended up with me, by myself, in the diner," he reminded his friend, red flooding his cheeks as he recalled the embarrassing moment. "This is not just about inviting the prettiest girl in school to the prom. This is about telling someone that everything they had believed is not real. It's telling her that it doesn't matter what she might have wanted, that something out in the universe decided that we are bonded for life. It's telling a girl like her that she's stuck with a guy like me."

"Man, I can't keep trying to convince you that you are a good guy," Jared sighed. "I'm not saying you're the gods' gift to mankind. Certainly not the you from a year ago. But you're not that guy anymore. You're not even the same guy from six months ago. So, it's time to pick yourself up and do what you have to do. Stop moping about this and do something."

***

(Y/N) woke up with warm arms wrapped around her and a pang in her chest she didn't understand. She was supposed to feel happy. She was supposed to wake up that New Year's Day with an overwhelming amount of joy and the sense that things were finally on the right path. Instead, there was an aching void in her heart that was trying to eat at her insides.

It was the same void that had started festering since that fateful night at the bonfire. The one that seemed to calm whenever the fluke was around. The one that called out his name and she had let go on deaf ears.

That pang filled her with guilt. As she lay in Jacob's arms, she felt guilty that her head was thinking of another guy. And it was a guy she barely knew. A boy that she had no business thinking about, much less dreaming about.

But she couldn't help it. She couldn't forget the softness of his hands against her skin, the brightness of his smile as he looked at her, the glimmer in his eyes when he listened to her. She couldn't get him out of her head.

And as if by divine intervention, the very constant thought appeared in Jacob's window. He knocked softly, motioning for her to go outside. (Y/N) couldn't believe he was there, much less that Jacob had yet to wake up. But what was harder to fathom was the fact that she was tiptoeing to the front door dragging a blanket with her.

"What are you doing here, Paul?" (Y/N) said as she closed the door behind her, wrapping the fabric tighter around her body. "If Jacob sees you here, he'll kill you."

"I thought I was supposed to be playing nice with him," he grinned teasingly. "What if I was here to extend a truce?"

"It wouldn't have mattered because he made me promise him that I wouldn't see you again," she whispered. "So, imagine what he will do if he sees you here right now."

"And did you?"

"What? Did I what?"

"Did you promise him, (Y/N)?" Paul asked sadly. "Is this your way of telling me that you're cutting ties with me?"

"No, of course not," she quickly replied. "I mean, I did promise him. But I never intended to keep it. I would just find a way to keep you two separate."

"So, what? I'd just be your dirty little secret?" he replied, anger clear in his tone. "Yeah, no, thanks. I'd rather take my chances with other friendships."

"What did you want me to say, Paul? Did you want me to tell my jealous boyfriend that I wanted to maintain a friendship with the one guy he seems to despise more than anything?" (Y/N) spoke through gritted teeth. "Would you have wanted me to tell Jake that I wanted to spend time with a guy he was close to dragging into the middle of town and beating the living daylights out of him? Sure, that would have ended great for me."

"Why would you wanna be with a guy like that, (Y/N)? If you're that afraid of his reaction over something as small as a friendship, what do you think will happen if something bigger happens?"

"He only reacts that way with you, and I don't get why," she sighed. "And I wanna be with him because I... because... because I..."

"Why, (Y/N)? Tell me!"

"Because I love him, Paul," she cried, shame cracking her voice. "I've been waiting for this chance for the better part of my life. I've been in love with him for as long as I've known what it was. And he wants me back, Paul. He wants me. And I'm not giving up at the first sign of hardship. So, if you really want to be my friend then you're gonna have to live with that."

"What if I don't?" Paul grumbled, his voice low and hurt. He got closer to her. So close she could feel how warm his body was, even through the blanket. "What if I can't stand around and watch as he mistreats you? Someone that loves you would never treat you like that."

"Don't make this harder than it already is, Paul," she whispered, warm tears falling down her cheeks. "For some reason I want you in my life. But I won't screw up what I just started with Jacob for a friend."

"I just don't wanna see you like this," he said, wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumbs. "You deserve to be happy, but not when it has rules and regulations like this. You should be allowed to still be yourself when you're in a relationship."

"Paul..."

"Listen, (Y/N)," he sighed. "I can't tell you what to do, nor would I want to. But I can't just watch in the sidelines as he treats you like shit when you deserve someone that will worship the ground you walk on."

"What are you saying, Paul?" (Y/N) croaked. "Are you saying you won't be my friend if I stay with Jacob?"

"(Y/N), I'm saying that I won't keep quiet if he keeps mistreating you."

"He doesn't," she said, but she knew it wasn't convincing. She didn't even believe it herself. "He just... he's just passionate, I guess."

"Then can you promise me something?" Paul sighed, his eyes glossing with tears. "If he ever –and I mean ever—gets physical with you, even as much as lifts his hand at you, you will tell me. The second it happens, you call me."

"I don't think it'll come to that," she forced a smile. "He would never put his hands on me."

"Just, please, (Y/N). Promise me and don't lie to me."

"Alright," she said, looking straight into the brown of his eyes. "I promise, Paul."

"I'll make sure you're always safe," he promised. His hand had not fallen from her face, his thumb caressing over her cheekbone. "No one is going to hurt you, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) had no idea why, but she believed every word he said. So, she promised. And, unlike with Jacob, she intended to keep it.

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[teanshan]

jealousy is my toxic trait. i can't get rid of it. the only thing i can do to diffuse these awful feelings is to demote the close relationship that I had, into basically an acquaintance.

a few years ago now, i had a very special mutual on my main blog. we bonded over our common interests, as is the tumblr way, and got quite close. we even met in person a couple of times bc she's from sydney and i'm in melbourne. back then I considered her my best friend.

well, it's a hard pill to swallow when you realise you're not someone elses best friend.

i remember it happening in real time. 'X', another tumblr user from fucking germany, was a mutual of both of us. would join us in reblog chains, comment on my art, and message my friend directly. and i could see them getting closer. my friend would send me screenshots of their messages, showing me how funny X is.

and i couldn't stand it. 'go away, she's my friend!' I wanted to scream.

it got worse and worse. they were talking everyday, tagging each other. my friend and I had less and less fandoms in common. we ended up only talking about our personal lives, and as we're both introverted nerds, personal updates were few and far between.

i couldn't get rid of these stupid, shitty feelings. i couldn't ignore their public friendship all over my dashboard. and i sure wasn't going to tell her to stop being friends with someone, how awful and entitled that would be!

so i had to unfollow her. and at some point she unfollowed me. we still chat sometimes over fb messenger, and she likes my personal ig posts and vice versa. but thats pretty much it. I hadn't felt those awful jealous feelings in years.

and then just ten minutes ago, simple curiosity took over me and I had to search her up on tumblr. its been so long that I actually forgot her username. I had to scroll through my old messages to find it.

and what do i see on her account? that she literally used 3 hours ago? reblog after reblog of X tagging her in posts and vice versa. daily correspondance. their friendship still very much alive and thriving and its making me sick to my stomach.

it sucks. im so fucking jealous.

she was my friend. my person to tag in posts like 'tfw your mutual lives in another state ;_;.' my person to message incoherent words like AKJFLSGKFG. she was my person.

god how fucking toxic is that mindset?! but what am i supposed to do! its a never-ending loop of shitty feelings. i cant fucking do anything. stupid.

#personal post #i cant post this on my main #in the event that she might eventually see it #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #feel free to ignore this

[sophietv]

The Great War and the "second" war

Ok, now that I opened Pandora's box of writing my thoughts down, I don’t seem to be able to stop… 

That being said, I keep seeing antis, especially on Twitter, claiming how The Great War does not mean anything about LSK since it was the first world war, but there was a second after.

So the argument here is that they might have survived that first war (weirdly no one seems to know which events it might be about) but they did not survive the second one (this one is supposed to be 2019 and the failed coming out).

This is gonna be a long post, so if you just want to have my input on what those two wars are about, it's at the end.

At first, I just thought this argument was funny, especially since no one is able to explain what fight (war) this song refers to if it’s not the events of 2019.

But then it got me thinking that if people are seeing this connection about two wars, it was probably not accidental.

So, if there are two World Wars, what is The Great War talking about?

I do believe that The Great War is talking about the events of 2019. There’s many things that point to this.

The Great War is sampled on Only The Young. It’s the same drum beat, especially in the intro.

I think it is meant to set the time the song took place (2019) and the reason behind this great war : The political climate, the results of the elections. As many suspect might have played a role on her not being able to come out.

But the lyrics also points toward 2019: 

The most telling is : “Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed”

This clearly points to the betrayal accusation that is looming over Karlie since 2019 and that Swifties use to hate on her.

There’s an amazing post about this. I encourage you to go read it as it will help you understand where I am coming from for the rest of the analysis.

Perez Hilton posted a Youtube Video saying how Taylor and Karlie are no longer close because of Scooter Braun, based on absolutly nothing. Ashley Avignone and Claire Winter liked the Taylor Swift Updates post about it.

Therefore lauching every Swifties and their mothers on Karlie.

This tweet and the video are still up, but the original post shared by Taylor Swift Updates and liked by Taylor's friend no longer exists.

(I highly suggest you read the post about debunking all of this!)

Perez Hilton liked a bunch of tweets this very year about how his claim that Karlie had betrayed Taylor was unfounded and basically not true.

This is just one exemple, there's MANY (and he confirmed in the comments of some that he does not just like them automatically because his name is in the post).

He even liked one of mine saying he was in his redemption era, liking post debunking his rumor about Karlie...

All of this plays in those lyrics:

“And maybe it’s the past that’s talkin’, screamin’ from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.” 

Perez posting those rumors and having her friends “confirm” it by liking the post.

“Spineless in my tomb of silence, tore your banner down took the battle underground”

Her not doing anything at the time (at least at first) to stop those rumors.

“Looked up at me with honor and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops.”

The Taylor Swift Updates post being deleted. Her friends are still showing support to Karlie on SM (again, if you have not read the debunk post, it’s really good!).

Frozen ground pointing at 2019:

In The Great War, there’s also the lyric: “Soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth, broken and blue”. 

Taylor has used the frozen imagery to talk about the Master Heist in Folklore and Evermore.

Hoax: “My win less fight, this has frozen my ground”. 

In the Long Pond Studio Session, when she talks about Hoax she says that it’s about multiple things: A relationship and the true meaning of love for her (staying when the other person is having a difficult time), a person that betrayed her and that she saw like family (Scott Borchetta) and a work thing that really hurt (The Master Heist).

The Win Less Fight is the attempt to come out that has frozen her ground (her past work).

It’s Time To Go: “He’s got my past frozen behind glass, but I got me”

Again, referencing having her past work stolen from her as being frozen.

Right Where You Left Me: “Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen, time went on for everybody else she won’t know it”.

Once again, she is talking about her and how she got frozen in time by the master heist.

The Lakes: "A red rose grew up, out of ice frozen ground. With no one around to tweet it”.

The lakes talks about her not belonging and wanting to escape with her muse. A red rose, means love and passion.

Meaning that in all of this, love grew up out of the public eye...

In Evermore she also alludes to the cold and the winter while looking back on the events of 2019 (this would take a whole other post to go through all of this) : “And I was catching my breath. Barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death”.

Even in Only The Young: "It keeps me awake, the look on your face, the moment you heard the news. Screaming inside and FROZEN in time, you did all that you could do"

She might be talking about more than just the elections right there...

Another thing that for me screams of 2019 : “Your finger on my hairpin trigger”.

To me this sounds like her relationship with Karlie was one big reason for her wanting to come out in 2019. 

How since the start of her relationship with Karlie she has been more loud about her queerness and how Karlie was the catalyst of her wanting to come out.

This relationship makes her want to drop “hairpins” as she references too in Right Where You Left Me : “I swear you could hear a hairpin drop, right when I felt the moment stopped.”

This checks out when you look back on her discography, social media posts, interviews and everything. Taylor has started being louder and dropping hairpins in conjunction with her relationship with Karlie.

What does it mean for Kaylor?

The song clearly depicts how they made it through those events:

“I vowed, I would always be yours, ‘cause we survived the great war”. 

Which was even more solidified by Taylor singing “I WILL always be yours” when she played it as a surprise song.

But there’s also other interesting detail about that song:

“My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war”

Meaning Karlie was there all this time. 

Also: “That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.”

Meaning Taylor did not lose Karlie. She thought she did, thought she might. But as she is saying in the song, it was not the case. 

But why is it about World War 1 AKA The Great War when we know there’s a World War 2?

Here’s what I think it means.

The Great War is about the events of 2019 : her wanting to come out and not being able to because of the Master Heist.

In her song The Archer, which is about the fear of coming out and how she is ready for it (pun not intended).

She starts the song with “Combat, I’m ready for combat”. (singular). 

The combat here is her coming out and the possible backlash it can have.

She sadly was not able to come out in 2019.

But since August 2019 and her BBC1 performance, Taylor has changed the lyrics a bit.

In her live performance of BBC1 (Septembre 2019)

Live in Paris (Septembre 2019)

You can clearly hear “Combats, I’m ready for combats”.

Even during the Eras Tour you can hear her using plural in the song.

The singular combat of coming out in 2019 has transformed into multiple ones, her having to re-record her first six albums for one plus whatever other challenges arose in 2019 that we don’t know about.

So World War 2 might be in that case her future coming out.

Whenever that might be.

And the song saying: “We will never go back”

Meaning that whatever happens, they’ll face it together this time.

#The Great War #Kaylor #Gaylor #LSK #The Archer #Coming Out #2019 #Youtube

[askfallenroyalty]

Here's some more deleted scene panels that never made it in

sorry there's no captions, there's just too many panels to describe and i'm tired. hopefully i'll have the energy/rememebr to do so tomorrow ):

IM REALLY SAD THIS ONE DIDN'T GET IN. I even drew asriel shutting flowey in a box for this joke to work. There was going to be a visual gag of it being a "soap" box. Haha.

Asgore was originally going to tell Asriel to think of something nice to get his mind off of his panic attack.

Which, while funny, took away the feeling of intense panic the audience and asriel should have been feeling at the time. It just didn't fit the pacing/mood. It also showed that -well, i don't know if this is a legitimate grounding technique or if it'd be read as "its ok just think happy thoughts <3 then ur panic attack would end" which... is not.... how that works. Even if it was only to give Asriel a moment of respite, it's shown as effective until Asgore brings up a bad memory. So. bad comic sequence.

more stuff under the cut

I had a really, really hard time balancing the tone of the scene that is currently happening in the redraw. it's why i'm so behind in my drawings, so i'm only now sketching the next couple month's updates.

This chapter has gone through SO MANY changes. I feel that comes with it being the first chapter to completely diverge from the original tumblr version.

Asriel was originally going to have a very on-the-nose nightmare about Flowey feeling excluded from the family and fearing drowning. Now, the whole darkness/water metaphor for suicidal depression will be introduced when that stuff starts to come into play in chapter 4...

i mean, just to really hammer home how much i had to delete for this: i actually did sketch out the original tumblr version here. I had it all ready before chapter 2 began posting. But as I was finishing the color for the warship section I realized, shoot, I don't wanna repeat it.

When I first made the tumblr version, i was getting burnt out and the characters just became so much... meaner? rude? to each other. some bickering or annoyance is fine but I have a bad habit of going overboard. That's something I hope to correct in the rewrite -and focus more on less drama and more wholesome/loving moments.

(note the above scene is shown not in full. its jumping around a bit)

Even tho I was mostly keeping chapter the same the first time I sketched it for the redraw, I added this scene. The idea was that when the house was on fire, Frisk would of ran off to the right of the house to where you can see Old Home.

There, even tho Frisk can't verbally talk, the two have a nice heart-to-heart. Chara remember Frisk has [spoilers] issues. Chara was going to own up to their bad behavior.

Now well, hm. Chara's got a lot of shit going on. Frisk of course has forgiven them (like they do for everyone in the underground -_- oh frisk...) and it's going to be something that's addressed down the road. for now, they've held hands, and shown solidarity for each other. As kids, they're going to goof around and be buddies and not let the cruddy stuff chara did earlier matter. things are so much less of a big deal when you're a kid.

#redraw #deleted scenes

[busterheadspace]

Okay, since you did so well with my Twin Sense prompt, let's try this one:

Various points in their lives where Mario and Luigi say each others names.

Why? Over time, they've come to realize the way they say it to each other is the equivalent of an "I love you."

"Mario!"

"Luigi!"

Does not matter what you use as an example, once again, just use whatever you think will demonstrate its a thing.

Although I would not object to a scene from when they're babies, to show they were doing it BEFORE they realized what they were doing.

If it helps, think of, "The Fault in Our Stars."

Saying each other’s names is their, "Okay."

first, holy crap, I don’t really have an excuse other for this taking so long (life problems but let’s not get into that)

second, if for the person requested that Mario/Peach or Mario/Bowser request, uh it got deleted when Tumblr updated. I will try to get to it but uh, I got stuff to do.

Third, my ask box will be shut off for a bit since I am very overwhelmed with requests at the moment. And also I probably will not be taking any Mario request anymore unfortunately as I don’t have a hyperfixation in the movie anymore so sorry

anyway, enjoy

—-

It was their birthday and Luigi was nervous. For a four year old, there were a lot of people. Their mother had introduced them to their aunt, uncles, and cousins.  The older ones liked pushing him around and he got scared. He ran off to their bedroom and hid under a blanket. He doesn’t know how long he was under there but he heard the door open

“Luu?” Mario’s voice comes in. Luigi gently took off the blanket and turned around as his brother walked toward him, with his hands behind his back.

“I know mama said we should open our gifts later but me and Papa got you this.” 

Mario revealed the gift, a green race car. Luigi’s eyes lit up and he was handed the car. He looked toward his brother as he asked a question. “Do you like it?”

“Mario!” The boy exclaimed before letting go. He opened the box and took the remote. The two watched as the car raced around their room until their mama came in for cake. They rushed out of the room, Luigi feeling less scared

—-

In a way, it was kinda funny seeing Mario like this. Luigi was in the backseat of the car, Mario leaning on him as he was half awake. Their uncle was driving them back home after Mario had gotten his wisdom teeth taken out. 

“Hey..!” Mario shouts out of nowhere, flapping his hands in his air. He points outside and bounces out of his seat

“Look at that big bird! Look at it fly! Fly! Fly! I wanna fly!” Mario laughs as he tries to make his points. Luigi chuckled as their uncle shook his head.

“He’s really out of it, isn’t he. I remember when I had my wisdom teeth taken out”

Luigi tried to listen to their uncle’s story until he heard the faint sound of crying. He turned to his brother who was sobbing

“What’s wrong bro?!” Luigi asked quickly. Mario quickly sniffed but doesn’t respond. It might be from the drugs. Luigi scooted over and let Mario leaned on him

“It’s okay Mario. We’re safe.” 

Mario stared at him for a few moments before resting his head on his shoulder. “Luigi..” He mumbled before falling asleep with a somewhat of a content smile. 

—-

They were going to quit their job and begin their own business. Although it was more of Mario’s dream. He looked over to his brother as they filled out the paperwork.

“Are you sure you want to join me? It’s my dream. You can stay here.”

Luigi looked up and tilted his head. He knew their dad had always spoken out about Mario leaving Spike. It was a stable job but the brothers couldn’t stand the jabs and  problems that Spike would give them.

“Mario. This is what I want. I want us to work together.” A hand was placed on Mario’s shoulder as Luigi gave Mario a smile

“Luigi.” Mario mumbled, giving him a nod. They would finish the paperwork for their new business before leaving Spike. They both hoped that they could start this business but at least they were doing it together. It made it better.

—-

Brookly was going to need to be repaired. They both knew that after such a harsh battle. But right now, they wanted to rest.

“Mario” The older brother heard his brother and allowed him to sit next to him. It was a relief that he needed so badly. Just to know his brother was okay and alive

Mario moved closer and reached for Luigi’s hand. He looked at him, looking for an okay. The younger brother looked confused but he mumbled “Mario” under his breath and nodded, Mario squeezing his hand.

They sat together, quietly, thinking about the adventure they went through. The terror they felt being ripped apart and never seeing each other again. He heard Luigi repeating his name with a panicked face before nudging him gently.

“Luigi. It’s okay.”

It brought his brother back to his senses although they could sense the uneasiness from everything that occurred. Luigi mutters an apology.

“I just.. I wanted to hear your voice..make sure you’re actually here after everything”

“Really?” Mario looked at him curiously. Luigi sighed as he thought about his time in the cage

“I.. I kept saying your name in hopes that you would come. But., I was scared that would be the last time I would see you.” He looked up at the ceiling as he thinks

“Ever since we were kids..we never really said I love you. You know how ma and pa would tell us that they loved us many times . I don’t remember us saying that to each other. Just.. our names when something really good and happy happened. Me just repeating your name in the cage, it was probably just me hoping you would hear me saying I love you in a way.”

Mario’s eyes widened a bit as he thought about it. He never realizes it but.. Luigi explaining it opened something in his mind. He wrapped his arms around his brother and he could feel Luigi relaxed.

“Luigi.” Mario muttered as he closed his eyes. 

“Mario.” Luigi whispered.

They knew what they’re names meant to each other. Just a simple sound of their name made both of them understand what they were saying to each other. How much they were willing to stick together as brothers. And honestly they were going to be by each other’s side no matter how hard the words tried to split them apart. 

—

Papa Mario couldn’t help but sigh as he tried to get his oldest son to settle down. The one year was crying non-stop and it was wearing him down. It was very late and he was exhausted. His wife was in the kitchen, trying to feed the younger son medicine. Both of them had been crying ever since Luigi had gotten sick and it would take a very long time to calm them down. 

Mama Mario walked in with a crying Luigi in her arms

“No luck?”

“No. I don’t understand why they’re acting out now?”

Mario had begun kicking the crib wall and as he wails, they hear a blubber of a name. 

“Wee.gi!” Weegi!” The younger brother stopped crying and tried reaching the foreword before going back to crying.

“Ma…ro! Mar..io!” 

Papa Mario’s eyes widened to why the boys were crying. He took Luigi out of his wife's arms and placed him next to brother despite her protest. They watch as the boy stops crying, Mario squirming toward Luigi and puts his hand over his brother’s body and curls up next to him. The younger one puts his thumb in mouth and moves closer. Both of them close their eyes, quieting down for the night

“Are you sure? Luigi’s sick.” She said

“He seems happier with his brother. I think it’s best if they stay together.” 

#mario movie #super mario bros #mario #luigi #mario fanfic #brothers #mario and luigi

[rangergirl3]

The thing about gradually coming to terms with long-repressed traumatic memories is:

Well, you tend to make jokes that no one else finds funny, but it’s how you cope. Sort of.

Mostly to fend off the screaming in your head.

Which can work. Until you have enough faculties to deal with it, which I thankfully do.

Trauma mentions after the cut. Nothing graphic, just yucky.

I made the following joke upon realizing that there is 100% no way I should ever trust my biological father or mother within 100 miles of me or any kids I have.

Let’s just say that waking up sweating, and visceral panic attacks, intrusive flashbacks, and a literal textbook worth of gradual realizations are a real bitch to work with when it ends up that I also have survived: incest. Wish that was a mistype. But it’s not.

Ugh.

Just YUCK.

Although the stuff my mother would tell me as a kid (aka If you ever tell anyone about the stuff that happens at home the social workers will come and take away your siblings and you’ll NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN) really starts to make sense now. (She was a real mean piece of work too. Each of my parental figures really does deserve the other. It’s a match made in Hades. I wish them a very predictably miserable eternity together.)

At the time, I just figured she really hated anyone knowing we, I don’t know, were noisy and messy at times, like kids tend to be.

But instead, my mind was just doing this: Running from anything I felt I couldn’t control. Which was everything.

Thank goodness I have stable relationships now. I mean, it still is nasty to deal with all of the health consequences - past and present - and I’ve definitely begun an overhaul of the house, instead of just a typical spring cleaning. Something about just throwing myself into a mountain of tasks can help me feel a little less lost when the noise inside my head gets too loud. (As long as I make sure I get enough sleep, rest, and relaxation, too.)

But yes, that’s…well, the biggest reason I took so much time off of Tumblr. There were other memories I uncovered - to no one’s surprise, I witnessed a LOT of messed up stuff in my early life that just got stuffed under the rug - including two suicides of total strangers because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time- side note - Please Please Please LIVE. Each life is such an irreplaceable treasure. Please choose to live. Please.

So. That was a lot. I’m a little bit nervous posting this, mostly due to some very cruel anons that have interacted with me in the past, but I wanted to update you, my friends🥰, on what all’s been up these last several months.

Just as a reassurance: I’m safe. I’m truly very happy. And I’m not going anywhere. Except maybe the library. Every time I get another set of books, and cart them back home, my husband just looks up at me and laughs, because it’s not even surprising anymore. 😂

Also my kiddo has asked for a Belle dress as a future gift so that she can ‘look and act just like my mama!’ Which made me supremely delighted.

And now, I’m going to go bake some zucchini bread. And brainstorm my next book. 😎 Because I think some people could really benefit from hearing that people with a terribly painful backstory can still snort milk out through their nose in delight at a funny joke. It just takes some time to get to that point.

#Rangergirl update

[fizzingwizard]

Back in the US for the first time in five years

(Wowww apparently posting on tumblr got waaaayy stupider during the time I was offline bahahahaha. took forever just to put in a cut and start a new line!)

Left home at 2:30 on Friday Japan time, got to my mom's new place around 9 pm New York time. About 22 hrs traveling in total. Not the longest and I didn't have to stop in like O'hare or any place I hate. Lots of usual flight nonsense occurred on the way, but it was overall smooth. The worst was when I got to New York and it took 30 min to get my bag because it was the very last one to be unloaded -.-; Then I was supposed to meet a driver to take me to my mom's place, but that driver got held up and sent someone else, who changed the plan, but I didn't know till I got out of baggage claim. And the driver couldn't get inside because it was so busy, so I had to just wait outside looking for his license plate amid all the many, many cars in the night. He did find me and then lectured me because I didn't have a good method of communication. I was going to rely on wifi because I couldn't find a US sim card for my old phone, a plan which would have been fine had the driver come into the airport like was the original plan. Because he was outside I couldn't access wifi. So. Anyway I tipped him with an apology... I do know better ways to have a phone when you travel internationally, but the problem is my current phone is just too old. It works just fine in Japan but can't do apps and no one makes anything for it. So I need a new one, but I just didn't want to pay through the nose for it so I didn't rush it...

Whatever. I got to the house in the end.

My mom's condo with her partner is small but really nice. It's weird being somewhere totally new, but much less weird than I expected because they made it so comfortable.

My mom's partner is really chill and doesn't have issues talking about my dad

The town they're living in is like Star's Hollow minus all the TV show over-decorating. It's really nice. Everyone is old though x'D I've seen like two youngish people outside of store employees. I'm no great conversationalist to begin with, and talking to people 30-40 years older than me is even harder. All I can say is "I like your scarf." In a conversation about raffles that falsely claim to be associated with charities, I made what I thought was a reasonable comment comparing that with psychics who promise people they're in touch with their loved one and take their money. Of course, one lady nearby totally believes psychics are real and "has done years of research on it." I'm like ok I'm not saying psychic powers can't exist, I'm saying taking people's money while lying to them is bad... and then uhhh just moved on to complimenting her scarf.

They're nice people but it is funny, watching a large crowd of people have conversations over each other, no one really interested in what each other is saying but just happy to be talking while another person is near and talking too...? My mom wants to talk about a movie she watched, so she's talking about that, at the same time her partner is talking about the food, their friend can't hear either of them because it's so loud so she's talking about the drinks at the bar. There was really no coherence! But everyone is happy and having fun. I don't get it but I guess that's why I suck at small talk.

Also talked to my dad. He said hello and then shared all his medical updates, which apparently includes he's got some very slow-acting form of leukemia! Sooo that was a fun surprise! I got to cry on my first day back!

I am also sick. Started with a sore throat literally the day before I was supposed to leave and bit by bit got other symptoms. Fortunately it didn't fuck me up too much on the plane. Probably just a cold. Keep crossing my fingers I'll be over it soon.

but I'm overall happy. I will feel better when I'm no longer sick and jetlagged, but it's nice to see my mom. I don't like all these crowds, but I like the area and I think during the week I won't be getting shuffled all over the place so much. it's gonna go by fast so I gotta appreciate

#fizz's life

[fitgothgirl]

Hiii here have an update :]

Things are decent, not much going on lately. Still making it to the gym about 3 times a week for lifting, but just recently starting to try to get more cardio and steps haha. Lifting is awesome but I would also like to be losing some fat here and there too lol, can’t forget about that. I at least just want to get enough steps a day but I know cardio is good for your heart and lungs and whatever (grumble grumble) so I want to get some times of higher heart rate once or twice a week to start with.

A couple days ago I also started a bullet journal. I’ve always liked these but never thought I could do one since they always look like works of art and I’m not artistic, don’t have pretty writing, etc. I didn’t want to try it and mess it up or end up not using it because I hated my artwork. But I recently saw a tumblr post about how making bujos like that is great for people who can/like to do that, but originally bujos were made by a guy (Ryder Carroll) who wanted it to be super simple and straightforward. In his Youtube intro video his handwriting is even messy enough that I almost can’t read it at times lol. But I guess a lot of people are like me and get overwhelmed at how we normally see bujos and so we avoid them, but he actually invented the method specifically as a neurodivergent-accessible way to stay organized, apparently in particular for people with ADHD. So that made me feel way better about starting my own. I did watch some other videos of people’s minimalistic spreads which I took from that added to Carroll’s original method, like a habit tracker and a gratitude page, etc. But otherwise it’s really straightforward and all I use is just a graph notebook (I like graph paper over dots hehe), a black pen, and a ruler (not even necessary technically) and that’s it!

This is good for a lot of reasons but I especially want to use it to help me with what I think is going to be a New Year’s resolution - get out of debt! Or at least close to out of it - not sure if I could completely get out if it in just a year. My financial situation is horrendous and embarrassing. Since I started my bujo in December, this month’s financial goals included just not using my credit card anymore, and starting in 2023 I want to plan specifics for paying off my cards and saving a little. With Christmas shopping this month, I couldn’t really start with that stuff yet (even though I’m keeping the shopping minimal this year).

I’d also like to start incorporating a way to meal plan/meal prep with it, but I’ll do that down the line a bit. One thing at a time.

Otherwise things are pretty chill. Concerts petered out after October - had just one at the end of November and we have NONE scheduled for the next THREE MONTHS. This is crazy for us lol. I bet at least one will come up before then though. It’s funny though cuz if not, the last concert I went to was AFI, and the next concert I go to will also be AFI haha. The one that just happened was a regular album tour show; the one that will be in March is a special one-off concert where they will be playing an entire album through “for the first and last time” (Sing the Sorrow, since it’ll be its 20th anniversary). We have to travel down to SoCal for that one too. So unbelievable we even got tickets, I’m so stoked. It’s going to be a special night with the most diehard fans.

Anyway, December is surprisingly an almost plan-less month. Just Christmas and New Years obviously, and we’re having a late combo friendsgiving/secret Santa dinner party at the end of the month too. Enjoying the lull in things before the schedule gets packed again in spring - besides that concert in March, there are already plans coming up around then and onward. I love doing stuff and I also love staying home, so I got a good balance right now lol.

#mine #personal fitblr #fitblr #fitfam #fitlife #fitspo #fitness #health #healthy #healthblr #exercise #workout #weight loss #healthy weight loss #losing weight #nutrition #healthy diet #healthy lifestyle #girls who lift #strong not skinny #weightlifting #strength training #lifting #progressive overload #gym #gym rat #gymlife #bullet journal #bujo #afi

[unexaggerateddumbass]

Don’t read this post. It will probably just make you feel bad. This is a “someone is wrong on the internet” post. The discourse monster took over. This is not a place of honor. What is buried here is repulsive and dangerous. Go watch CJ the X’s video about bo burnham and you will have a better and more productive time. Or keep scrolling or whatever. lmao.

idk why the user response to staff’s latest post is making me go absolutely feral, but it is. sskdjslasdjakska not only did thousands of people apparently come away with a completely random and also wrong piece of information which was also wrong.but also. apparently are shocked that the staff page would parrot  bleach-white bland corporate jargon as if it is not the podium of a corporation. I guess I just had a wildly different impression of our collective relationship to this entity. Yes it is frustrating that they are attempting to employ the tactics of other social media platforms. I also use this website because I appreciate that it is less addicting than other social media platforms. But! I am not delusional about the fact that this is still a social media platform run by suits who are(at this very moment) harvesting little pieces of my soul. And. They will continue to do so at a steadily increasing rate. And the day upon which this platform is a greater toll to my mental well being than it is worth is not avoidable. It is an inevitability. The platform is decaying!!! Not in a silly “haha my favorite hellsite way” Not in a “the UI barely functions way” Not in a marketable keychain way, but rather in a way where it is actually damaging to your health to be here.

I am sorry if the latest post on the staff page shattered the visage of your parasocial relationship??? I was not aware that was something that you all were having. It is quite literally a feed for updates about a company. This thing that is happening where we are posting long rebuttals explaining to staff why tumblr should not behave like a corporation is simply baffling to me. The staff page was never witty it was never funny it has always been a place where you go to read about the ways in which the platform is becoming worse. You Need To Brace Yourself For The Day That The Responsible Thing To Do Will Be To Stop Using Tumblr.

[natigail]

September 2022 - natigail recap

As a comedown from PEDIA, I took it easy for a bit, but I did still write and post a fair amount! And I was happy to wrap up my skz vampire/lawyer AU, and get my svt mafia AU and my skz wolfpack AU on a regular schedule. It also seems a month of no spilled thoughts posts meant I had a lot built up.

Two chapters and an epilogue of The Vampire Client

One chapter of 돈’t Lie (at least not to me)

One chapters of Rest in the Belly of the Wolf

And then no less than 8 (!!) spilled thoughts post: (one about finishing PEDIA this year), (one about having written so much within the walls of my childhood home), (one about Dan Howell doing his first live show in years), (one about the first joint video from Dan and Phil in 2022), (one about coming out to someone for the first time in person), (one about a local bookstore closing down), (one about getting a nosebleed for the first time ever) and lastly (one about wanting to cut my hair really short).

And now onto the writing for this month. So much skz it’s not even funny, I didn’t realise that I’ve almost exclusively written for this fandom until I looked at my chart. 

I had adjusted down the daily goal after having it high during July and posting every day in August, so I had it at 1.5k a day. I can say that the low goal definitely did not deter me and I got to an average of 1.9k a day still! Most of my words went to The Vampire Client, which I had planned to finish within PEDIA but I kept writing more and pushing the ending further out. I did finish it this month! I also started a prologue to my Rest in the Belly of the Wolf, which felt so wonderful and indulgent. And then a writing a bit on that main fic, and also a little editing to 돈't Lie (at least not to me). And then of course, all of the spilled posts to tumblr.

In October, I’ll put the goal back to 2k and I have a whole week off mid-month with nothing planned but relaxation, so I’m hoping to get lots of words done then too. I’ve currently got four updating fics, partially posted (phan Stardew AU, svt mafia AU, skz wolfpack and wwx journal), so I’m going to try and focus on writing on them. Wish me luck!

#monthly recap

[blackteaaddict]

so tumblr finally allows sending asks from the dashboard again and apparently it has the fancy options that were available on mobile and it’s good because I still don’t know how to send asks on app xD

people were going “oh! fancy functions! on mobile asks” and meanwhile I was just sitting there unable to figure out how to fucking send an ask on mobile in the first place (where is the mobile ask button?!!! where!???)

#personal stuff #i guess #i complain about tumblr #a bit #it fits this tag a bit i guess so it goes here #it's funny that it took less time for tumblr to do that update #than to me figuring out their app #hsdgfksjdhgf

[respectable-username]

.

#to delete later #i find it kinda funny #today #in the nightly email AO3 sends with how many kudos your work has gotten #almost every fic I've posted got one or two kudos #almost every fic except for the multichapter I just updated today #the multichapter I've poured well over 100 hours into yet has fewer kudos than anything else I've posted #Bullseye got twice as many kudos in 10 hours than IGITD got in 2 months #and Bullseye very much needed another editing pass to get rid of a bunch of janky phrasing #even just thinking about the amount of time spent on this one chapter compared to Bullseye #and Chapter 6 probably took less time than most of the rest #even the very rough fic I posted on Tumblr a few days ago got way more notes than IGITD ever did #and that ficette took maybe an hour to write and it very much shows in how much it needs an edit #it's just frustrating #internet do be weird #intellectually I've resigned myself to the fact I'm only continuing IGITD for myself #but it's still so disappointing to see something I've worked so hard on be comparitively ignored #anyway I should just be glad people are liking my other fic #it's greedy expecting audiences to like everything I do

[olderthannetfic]

I got in a similar situation with that anon that was trauma dumping, except I had been in that server for more than a year. I was cancelled, had a sleuth of real life problems, and usually would just announce them and then take time off. Never went into detail or asked anything out of them, nor dumped too much information they didn't want to hear or that they didn't ask for.

It took me a while to come to the conclusion that they really didn't care at all about me when I realized that I was always DMing them, always checking in on them if they weren't online for a couple of days, leaving comments under their works to make them feel better, and other people in the server would talk about how the others were always so kind to them, so nice, "They DM'd me"/"They left long comments"/"They gifted me a fic", and... when it came to me, no one gave a shit.

I did an experiment and told them that I was going through a shit period because of a very personal issue (I didn't make it up, it actually was), and left Ao3, left Tumblr, left Discord all together, not deleting them, but not updating anything nor messaging anyone. I literally disappeared. I was in complete silence for months, not interacting with anyone.

No one cared.

I didn't hear from any of them for months in a row, and when I finally decided to try and interact again and bring up how hurt I was that the people who would keep telling me they were my friends couldn't be bothered to send me a single message in months, I was accused of trauma dumping on them, being unreasonably mean, being downright evil to people who had done everything they could to support me. When I asked them what they had done to support me or show me they were actually my friends, something they kept repeating to try and guilt trip me into apologizing to them, they kept changing the topic and accusing me of being horrible.

When I left the server, they told me they were happy I had finally left. Thank god they were my fandom friends.

--

*slew

Yeesh. Yeah, those aren't friends. You're better off out of there.

TBH, a lot of fandom friends won't usually DM you or check in that much. I have some fandom friends I've met in recent years, gotten close to quickly, and spent a lot of time talking to in discord PMs. If they go silent, I usually assume they're busy. I don't think it would occur to me to keep close tabs on them like you're describing. It would feel a bit presumptuous. Though I guess if I sent them a few "look at this funny link from today" messages and heard nothing, I might eventually go "Hey, are you okay?"

But if this was a common practice in the server aside from you, then it probably did mean something. It's possible they just didn't like your fic for non-personal reasons, but that this led to less overall interaction with you and fewer positive feelings about you without anyone really realizing. It's also possible they were just jerks.

Regardless, you were putting in a lot of effort that you weren't getting back, and that always sucks.

Either they were taking advantage and not holding up their end of the friendship or you were being pushy with people who weren't interested and who don't express friendship the same way you do. I genuinely have no way to tell. Both situations are very common, and it's not always easy to tell when one is in the situation oneself.

But it doesn't matter because both result in you feeling used and abandoned. In either case, you're better off now, out of that server and looking for other friends with whom it will be more mutual.

[anoutlandishfanfic]

Metamorphosis Ch 28 - La Dame Blanche

Finally! An update!! Thank you all for your patience!! We’re slowly making progress -- and so is Claire!!

Many thanks to betas @thefraserwitch​ and @walkinginland​ for their help... and keeping my feet to the fire.

You can find previous chapters here on Tumblr or over at AO3.

Nearly 10pm — Still the 21st of February, 1744 Jamie.

“Talk to me, Murtagh.”

Claire’s directive reached over my shoulder and took firm hold of my godfather.

“Oh, aye?” he squirmed slightly, unsure of his task. “What shall I tell ye, then?”

Her grip on my arm tightened as she labored through another of what she called contractions, her brow deeply furrowed and her breath coming in short gasps.

“Tell her stories,” I provided for her. “Jus talk to her… anythin’ to take her mind off things.”

This was met with great approval and he launched into a tale — at my expense.

“Have I told ye of the time yer numpty there tried to teach his sister’s wee cheetie to swim?”

I could hear the unbridled mirth in his voice, could see the massive grin stretching across his face even though my back was to him. It was Murtagh’s favorite story of my youth — and I was certain he had told her already — but I honestly didn’t mind being the subject of ridicule if it brought some small measure of comfort to my wife in her agony.

“Christ, ye’ve told it a hundred times over,” I protested in jest, dipping my head to place a soft kiss behind her ear as I dug my thumbs into the place at the base of her spine as she’d shown me.

“Ye canna be borin’ her wi’ tha’ one.”

I caught the barest hint of a smile in her eyes behind the pain and my heart soared.

Murtagh harrumphed at my interjection, suggesting, “Well, I could tell her o’ the time ye ruined yer da’s—“

“Tell her of the wee gomeral, ye old coot,” I grumbled, interrupting him before he could explain just what had become of my father’s best shirt as a result of my trying to impress a particular lass in the village.

Our companion chuckled to himself as he settled in for a good tale.

“Jenny’d nursed the wee slip o’ a thing back to health, aye?” Murtagh begun slowly, savoring the memories. “It’d been the runt o’ the litter an’ it’s mam wouldna feed it, ye see, so the lass took it within the house an’ fed it milk an’ cream an’ the like…”

Claire’s breath caught in a helpless whimper as something within her changed and my heart turned over in my chest. Her fingernails dug painfully into my skin — just as the talons of that wee fiend had all those years ago.

“She’d named it Mungo,” Murtagh continued, entirely unaware of the goings-on within our nest — completely taken back to time and place of his story, “an’ the wee cheetie had complete command of the kitchen… patrolin’ the pantry for enemy mice like a braw wee soldier.”

“Show me wha’ to do, Sorcha,” I pleaded, pressing my cheek against hers.

She turned and kissed me — hard — taking me completely by surprise and stealing all the breath from my lungs. Everything around us melted away as her soul reached out for mine, tugging and pulling with all her might. I gave in readily, offering up everything within me… all the strength, the will, and drive I possessed.

I kept my hands busy, not lifting them to her face as I maybe would have otherwise, but continued my massage of her spasming muscles. My fingers traced along her spine as my palms moved up her back, giving attention to the unyielding tendons I found along my way. I found her shoulders hunched near up to her ears and I knew that could do her no good.

“Right here, mo chridhe,” I showed her with a gentle caress across her shoulder blades. “Relax your arms, lean in to me… I’ll hold ye up.”

She did as encouraged, the loop of her arms around my neck loosening as a low, murmuring groan began to bubble up from within her. Her face turned into me as she rested her head on my shoulder, curling inward as the tone of her protestations became almost growl-like.

It was a considerable change from before and I thought these were more productive… less fearful and altogether rather like those I’d heard time and time again from the births I’d witnessed in the fields and byres of home.

Christ, how she hated my comparison.

“Aye, that’s the way,” I crooned. “Make all the wee noises ye like.”

Murtagh still hadn’t noticed that I’d been having my own conversation with my wife and that neither of us were paying any attention to him… It wasn’t worth interrupting him and perhaps as the contraction eased, the noise would become a welcome distraction again, but for now —

Claire was in a world of her own.

Her shoulders now sufficiently relaxed, my hands drifted back down to her hips. She’d begun to sway them again — a helpful action, she’d informed me earlier — and the low growl had risen to a steady hum. Setting my thumbs back into motion forthwith, we moved together for quite a while before she once again fell silent.

…

Claire.

Jamie helped me turn, allowing me to sink down onto the mattress and rest against his solid chest.

He was laughing… but silently, the vibrations doing wonders to slow my racing heart. It took me a moment to realize just what was so funny, but it was soon obvious.

Murtagh.

Jamie’s godfather was fully invested in the tale he was telling, completely oblivious as to what we were doing and instead absorbed in every detail of the recalled situation at hand.

What was it?

Ah, yes. The bloody cat.

I slid my eyes shut, a soft smile tugging at my lips.

How many times had I heard that one while we were on Jamie’s trail?

But, still, he knew it was one of my favorites and by all accounts it seemed to be one of his too.

My husband’s hand lifted to my face, brushing back the curls that clung to my damp brow and cheeks. I sighed heavily and turned my face into him, placing a kiss in the middle of his palm. A low rumble of delight ran through him as he tipped my chin up for a kiss on the mouth, the last vestiges of my latest contraction melting away as he shifted me in his arms.

And, so, it was in this manner — dressed in nothing but my shift, the nearly transparent material of which plastered against my skin, my hair a riotous mess of curls around my face, and lying cradled in my husband’s arms with my legs spread wide — that the captain of the Demeter found us as he came bounding into the cabin… with half the crew hot on his heels.

Before I could so much as blink, Jamie had extricated himself from beneath me and was using his body as a barricade to block any access to my person, dirk drawn. Murtagh had done much the same and leapt towards the door with the speed of a snapping crocodile, a nasty snarl contorting his face into an expression of such ferocity that I’d never seen before.

“Ye gave me yer word, Captain,” Murtagh spat. “Ye said ye could handle yer men… tha’ ye’d no’ be violatin’ my lady’s privacy in such a manner.”

As if in confirmation that he could not, in fact, keep control of his crew, they began to speak as one, shouting over one another and lunging towards us until the room was an overwhelming cacophony of threats of violence. I couldn’t make heads or tails of any of it, save one repeating word.

Witch.

Witch.

Witch.

Oh, bloody fucking hell.

They blamed me for the storm.

“Throw her overboard!” A raucous shout broke out above all the others.

“Aye!” came another, “Send her to the depths where she belongs!”

The very air in my lungs vanished with these words and bright spots flashed before my eyes. I reached out blindly for Jamie, desperate to take hold of something steady — but came up with nothing but empty space.

His name rolled off my tongue, parting my lips with a scream that started deep within me and multiplied until the sound bore no resemblance to my own voice.

Lightning split the sky in two and the room was awash with an unearthly light as a mighty wave surged against the side of the ship as my husband turned back to face me, the impact of the surf sending the both of us sideways across the mattress.

Jamie managed to catch hold of me, taking the blow against the wall upon himself, and it appeared from my low vantage point that only Murtagh remained upright. The rest of the men had been bowled over completely by the might of the storm and they remained where they lay… their verbal assaults suddenly silenced.

“She is no witch,” Murtagh finally spoke, raising his voice to be heard.

“She is La Dame Blanche,” he continued. “If even one of ye approaches her out of harm, she’ll curse both ye an’ yer kin to come for many a generation… I’ve seen her do it myself.”

Jamie’s arms around me loosened, now that we’d come to a secure stop against the wall, and I struggled to sit up.

“No, Sorcha,” he commanded, his voice urgent as he scrambled over me, effectively placing me between his protection and the barrier behind me. “Stay there.”

I shook my head wildly, my eyes wide. The last place I wanted to be right now was flat on my back.

“Help — me — up,” I bit out as I tried to roll onto my side by myself.

He eventually did as told — guided by a swift pinch to a tender spot within arm’s reach — and helped me sit up against the wall. He then had the audacity to turn his back on me, settling himself into a defensive position.

My vision began to cut out again in great, black blobs and I grabbed for him. My fingers brushed against his shirtsleeve and I latched on, yanking him back towards me by a fistful.

“Aye, ye’ve got me,” he assured dryly, moving only marginally closer as his attention was still firmly affixed on the ship’s crewmen and his fingers anxiously tapping against the hilt of his dirk. “I’m right here.”

“Put — that thing — down — and help me,” I bit out, using what little oxygen I had left in my lungs as my lower half once again threatened to be separated from the rest of me.

Jamie turned and looked at me — really looked at me — and nodded slowly, moving until he was right in front of me. He lay the knife within easy reach and offered himself up to me.

But the contraction had now settled in with an intensity that shook me to the very marrow of my bones. It assaulted me from all sides: making Jamie’s touch suddenly painful, the woolen fabric beneath me transforming to needled barbs, and the ruckus of the men bent on my destruction an endless, agonizing cacophony of damnation.

“Claire?”

I had shut my eyes up tight some time ago, willing my surroundings to melt away, to be suddenly back home at Lallybroch with Jenny at my side… but it was not Jenny’s voice that called to me now.

“Mo chridhe, ye mustna hold yer breath like that.”

I felt my leg jerk in reflex, my foot connecting with something solid before recoiling and heard a correlating ooof.

“Oh, aye,” my husband muttered. “Kick me all ye like, Sassenach, jus’ open yer eyes for a wee bit, aye?”

I did no such thing, incapable of even the slightest voluntary movement.

“Christ, ye’re as stubborn as any Scot,” he sighed and I felt a small measure of accomplishment, but Jamie was not about to give up his case.

“Kick, pinch, hit… I dinna mind… do anything ye like to me, mo nighean donn,” Jamie tried a different approach. “I willna touch ye if ye dinna wish it — ye ken I willna — but I’ll be ticklin’ tha’ wee foot of yer’s if ye dinna open those bonnie eyes an’ look a’ me!!”

I cracked one eye open and glared at him with all the force I could muster, but the look of relief that washed over his face as I did so had me opening the other in short order.

“A Dhia, ye ken how to scare a man,” Jamie shook his head slowly, a rueful smile now tugging at his lips as he realized I was returning to semi-consciousness of my surroundings.

“Forget them, mmm?” He passed a look back over his shoulder towards a dwindling crowd. “Murtah’s tellin’ ‘em of all the wondrous things ye can do… they’ll be back about their business in a moment or two.”

He shifted, returning his gaze to me as he moved even closer — though making no move to touch me.

“Just focus on me, aye?” Jamie offered, his blue eyes as deep and strong as the ocean surrounding us. “We’ll take it one pain at a time.”

Lifting a trembling hand, I reached for him, my sweaty palm open and empty. He took it between both of his, squeezing it tight.

“Aye, Sorcha,” he swallowed hard. “Tha’s the way.”

Together.

He sat beside me like that, steady and calm, until my contraction began to ease.

My breath was coming easier, but still ragged as I pulled him closer. Eagerly obliging, he took me back into his arms, helping me move so that I could recline against him.

I felt a slow but steady trickle of warm fluid trail down my thigh as I shifted and quickly tried to stop my bladder.  

“Fuck,” I spat, pulling my shift out of the way of the flow.

Overtaken by a hoard of men and you piss yourself.

Brilliant, Beauchamp.

Jamie grabbed for something to mop up my mess — coming up with an already half sea-soaked petticoat — and made a halfhearted comment of reassurance.

“Oh, shove it,” I hissed, eyeing our company. “I could have at least made it to the bucket.”

My husband stopped what he was doing and looked down at me with an odd expression dancing in his eyes.

“What?” I demanded.

“Well, tis jus’ that I dinna expect ye to catch all yer waters in a bucket, Sassenach,” he chuckled to himself. “Even if ye were in a room that didna sway an’ had a midwife by yer side.”

“My… oh,” the truth of what he was saying hit me quite suddenly.

Jamie’s bemused smile bloomed into a bonafide grin, having properly identified amniotic fluid before I did.

I shook my head slowly, letting it tip back to rest against his shoulder as I muttered, “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ.”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #metamorphosis au #chapter 28 #la dame blanche

[classysassy9791]

Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Romance/Humor/Fluff Pairing: InuKag Rating: T

Originally written for @inukag-week on tumblr circa 2016, now officially being updated. Its been a hot minute, hasn't it?

For InuKag Week - Day 2: Warmth

Part 1 l

Part 2 Word Count: 2,600

Can also be found on FFN and AO3.

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Kagome couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard.

Sometime between the moment she met the arrogant, rude man known as Inuyasha and the three shots she had consumed, they had fallen into a flirtatious banter that she rather enjoyed. Gone was the pompous jerk who had so rudely called her audacious names, replaced by a man who proved to actually be decent company.

No, she hadn't forgotten about their initial meeting, but as she downed another shot of whiskey, she realized she didn't much care. For the first time in months - maybe longer - Kagome found herself enjoying her evening. With her shackles removed and her inhibitions lowered, she relished in the sweet taste of freedom that had been sorely lacking from her life.

"You did not!" she squealed with absurdity in her tone, clamping a hand over her mouth.

Inuyasha chuckled, tilting his glass and giving a half-shrug. "I did," he confessed sheepishly, but not at all ashamed of his actions. "Miroku ran down the dorm hall, completely naked, screaming after me."

Kagome shook her head. "I can honestly say I have never stolen my roommates clothes while they were in the shower. Or pulled any pranks on them, really."

"To be fair," he continued, signaling the bartender for another round. "He actually met his girlfriend that way."

"By running naked down the hallway?"

He nodded. "Knocked her down and stopped to apologize."

"Still want to leave the tab open?" Kouga interrupted.

"Yeah, that's fine." Inuyasha finished off his beer. "Another round of whiskey shots while you're at it."

Flashing Kagome a smile, Kouga took their empty glasses. "You're going to dry me out."

"It's still early," Kagome barbed playfully. "Your bar will last until midnight at the very least."

He chuckled, filling up their shot glasses and handing them another drink. "Oh, thanks. I was afraid I'd have to close up soon."

Leaving with a, "flag me down if you need me," Kouga wandered to the other end of the bar where a busty blonde waved at him.

Typical, Kagome thought sourly. On the one hand, she didn't like the way her thoughts were turning, considering she didn't really know Kouga, and hated grouping him in with the rest of the spineless male population she had become accustomed to - especially since he was a bartender and it was literally his job to tend to the needs of his customers. But on the other hand, she couldn't help but feel bitter about his attention leaving her. Maybe it was because she had so blatantly been deprived of it for so long, that her longing for companionship had been exacerbated ten-fold.

Taking a sip of beer - which she had switched to once they started doing shots - Kagome heard her phone buzz in her purse again; it had already gone off several times during her conversation with Inuyasha. She finally pulled it out and unlocked it, frowning at the array of messages popping up on her screen.

Inuyasha raised a brow at the irritable look that overcame her expression before Kagome sighed and locked her phone. She quickly downed her shot of whiskey, not even bothering to 'cheers' him.

"Everything okay?" Inuyasha questioned, against his better judgement. There was a reason people showed up by themselves at a bar on Friday nights - either to drown their sorrows in whiskey or to find company for a few fleeting, midnight hours.

Kagome pressed her lips together. She didn't come to the bar to talk about her problems. She wasn't some sad case that needed a therapist to pour her drinks. If anything, she wanted to forget about the emotional damage that had been inflicted earlier that day. Her heart had been broken, her ego bruised, and no matter how many times her friends had told her he wasn't worth it, their sympathies didn't make her feel any better.

But, alcohol had a funny habit of turning into truth serum, and she found herself spilling her guts before she could stop herself. "Just my ex-boyfriend - er, fiance - blowing up my phone."

Inuyasha chuckled. "Can't take a hint, huh?"

Kagome shrugged with a bitter smile. "I mean, he broke off the engagement. Not sure why he can't follow through with his decision."

She had expected sympathy, perhaps even empathy. That's what most people offered in a situation like this, when they didn't know what to say or how to react. But Kagome was caught off-guard by Inuyasha's next question.

"How long were you together?"

Kagome eyed him curiously, his honey gaze hiding a wealth of understanding. "Five years," she answered him, twirling a strand of her dark hair around her finger. "Planned our life together, put a ring on it, and even booked the venue. But… I suppose he got cold feet a long time ago."

"His loss. What kind of bastard would put someone through that?"

She hummed thoughtfully, but didn't answer. It wasn't in her best interest to start talking about the past now, and she would rather take the spotlight off of herself all together. "What about you?" she asked her barstool companion as she took another sip of beer. "Any lucky ladies in your life?"

Inuyasha chuckled mirthlessly. "Nah, not anymore."

Kagome arched a brow. "Dare I ask?"

"Not much to tell. Her career and ambitions drove a wedge between us, and she decided they were more important than me. Simple as that."

"Sounds high maintenance."

He grinned. "Something like that. I mean, she knew what she wanted and didn't care what stood in her way. Even me."

Kagome felt an ache beneath her breast for the man beside her. She knew the pain of rejection very well. "Put out in the rain just like a dog. Doesn't that bother you?" she asked, tilting her head.

He frowned at her choice of words, and Kagome knew she may have touched a nerve then, but the alcohol had stripped her of her filter apparently.

"Well, I guess we're all damaged somehow," he replied with a shrug.

She scrunched her nose. "That's a bit thoughtless."

"What can I say? Shit happens. Get over it."

And then Kagome suddenly remembered the arrogant, rude, condescending jerk she had met when she had sat down at the bar earlier in the night. She narrowed her eyes. "Why are you such an ass?"

Inuyasha smirked while bringing his beer to his lips. "You are what you eat?"

Kagome let loose a growl of frustration. She had only known him for a short time, but she had quickly learned that Inuyasha was the most infuriating human being on the planet! "Your immaturity is revolting," she stated matter-of-factly, waving down Kouga for another shot of whiskey. She was definitely not drunk enough to deal with the way the conversation had turned.

"I'm not known for my friendly disposition."

Kagome glared at the man sitting next to her. "Is it fun being a jerk to me? Does it satisfy you?"

Inuyasha chuckled. "Actually, it is pretty entertaining."

She rolled her eyes. "You know, Inuyasha. You can hide behind that fake bravado all you want, but I know you're just a big softie underneath."

"Keh," he grumbled, finishing off his beer.

Kagome threw him a glare. "What? No witty repartee?"

He set down his empty glass with a little more force than usual, grabbing Kagome's attention. "I know your type, wench," he snapped, his amber eyes boring into hers. "I know exactly the kind of person you are; all high and mighty, acting as if you're better than everyone else. You think you can show someone how great life can be and how fantastic it is if I would just try. Well, sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but not everyone is worth saving, all right?"

His words left Kagome stunned into silence for a brief moment. How did their witty banter only a few minutes ago turn into this? This… This denied anger and unadulterated cynicism had Kagome reeling, her thoughts turning to what exactly had penetrated Inuyasha's life so completely that he had such a negative outlook on such.

She pursed her lips. "How much do you think you're worth?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Like twenty bucks. Or two twinkies." He grinned at his own comment, but Kagome didn't find it very funny.

If anything, Kagome felt pity for him. No matter how bleak her life became, she always managed to find the good in it. If a person couldn't do that… Well, that was a pretty sad way to live. "As much as I would love to hear you divulge all of your secrets, this is a great song and I feel like dancing."

"Look, wench," Inuyasha barked out, his anger palpable. "I'm not looking for your validation. I'm pretty fucking happy with my life of dirty pennies and whiskey bottles. We don't all need to be Barbie."

She looked over at him, the low dim of the bar lights shining off his silver hair, and found she could only nurse one wounded heart at a time. "I just wanted you to leave tonight and think the world is a little less horrible than you thought."

"Hey, pretty lady," Kouga greeted as he appeared at the perfect time with another shot of whiskey for her and a full beer, stealing her full attention away from Inuyasha.

Kagome immediately downed the shot and chased it with her beer, ready to forget half of the night and lose herself in the music pounding through the speakers. As the evening wore on, the bar became busier, and the DJ had started up a round of tunes that had half the customers on the dance floor.

Kouga watched her curiously, arching a brow. "You alright there?"

"Dance with me?" she called over the bass pounding through the speakers. Oh yes, it was now the time of the night in which she had no qualms for asking for what she wanted.

He chuckled and glanced over at the other bartenders who appeared to have things under control. "You can steal me for a few minutes."

Kagome grinned and giggled like a school girl, leaving Inuyasha behind without delay. Kouga met her at the end of the bar and took her hand in his as she pulled him out onto the dance floor.

Some upbeat dance music blasted through the speakers. Kagome moved and swayed through the bodies crowding near the DJ, the vibrations of the music becoming part of her energy, raising her up several levels at once. Gone were her heartbroken wallows and the biting arrogance of her barstool companion. Her mind buzzed with pure joy. She moved in her dress like her hips were made to sway, the black sequins catching the disco ball that twirled above, causing her to glitter on the dance floor.

Kouga pulled her close, his strong hand pressed against the small of her back, his chiseled chest pressed against hers. She ran her fingers through her messy hair and pulled it to the side, feeling the beat of the music pound with each beat of her heart. Bodies pressed in tighter all around them. Kagome felt the part of her that was really her come out to play, to feel the vibe of the music and let her body go free.

"You're beautiful," Kouga's voice whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

His lips looked soft and very kissable, and Kagome knew her decision-making skills were indeed hindered by the alcohol that buzzed through her veins. And then his attention was caught by something else, his royal blue eyes pulling from hers to the outskirts of the dance floor. He said something to her, attempting to shout above the music, but his words were swallowed up by the electric beat that kept her entranced.

Kagome felt his hands slip from around her waist and he disappeared into the crowd. She didn't bother to follow, her hands playing with her hair, her hips moving to the music as she lost herself within it. This was what her heartbroken soul had fiercely needed; a night to forget all the troubles of the day.

Large, meaty hands found her waist, but they were unfamiliar and too warm to the touch. Kagome felt a warm flush find her cheeks as she gazed up to meet a stranger's hazy stare. He pulled her in close - too close - and even in her alcohol-ridden mind, she felt mild panic begin like sparks in her abdomen.

She tried to push him away, first gently and then forcefully, pretending to laugh at his behavior. "Thanks for the dance, but I need some fresh air."

"C'me on, baby," he slurred, pulling her tighter to his sweaty frame, his hot breath rolling over her skin. "We just met. Let's dance s'me more."

Kagome frowned. "I said no." Before she could stomp on his foot and fight her way out of the throng of dancers, the man was forcefully pulled away from her. They became separated by another man, one with very familiar silver hair who had his back to her. She didn't hear the words exchanged, but whatever was said was enough to send the man scampering off to the other side of the bar.

Inuyasha turned around, his piercing honey eyes studying her expression, before his hand gently wrapped around her waist. His grip on her wasn't strong like Kouga's, or possessive like the stranger. Inuyasha's hand was warm against the small of her back, and the anxiety she felt moments ago melted away.

"You okay?" he asked, swaying his hips in tune with hers as they continued to dance to the beat of the music.

She grinned up at him. "Were you worried about me, jerk?"

"Keh," he grumbled, his lips pulling into a smirk. "I despise you more than any other human I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. You're loud and wild and apparently have no sense of self-preservation. You also act like you have the mental capacity of a five year old."

"Are you flirting with me?" she barbed in return.

"Maybe."

His hand found the back of her neck, his fingers finding purchase in her hair, his hips grinding against hers. Warmth pooled into the pit of her stomach, his breath caressing her skin, and she moved her lips to find his.

Kagome barely had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips and delved inside her mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of beer being exchanged between their billowing breaths. Her arm reached up and tangled around his strong neck. She pulled away and arched up into his broad chest, letting a moan escape in the contact of body heat against her own, before she drew back into his lips.

She could nearly taste the slight bitterness of the beer as it rolled off her tongue and seeped down her throat with every push of his tongue against hers. The kiss coupled with the beer and whiskey humming through her system obliterated every thought. For the first time that day, her mind was locked into the present. Her usual concerns for her life were suspended, and she had no wish for the kiss to end.

But as the music changed, they pulled apart. Inuyasha's skin shimmered with sweat and his amber eyes flecked with gold held her gaze. The beat of the music consumed them under the crazy neon lights, and Kagome felt alive during a night that was still so young.

#inuyasha #kagome #inukag #fanfiction #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag-week #sassy stays classy #my fanfiction #double shot of heaven

[selfproducingfanfictionauthor]

Lessons to Build - ii: you can’t outrun what is in you

Summary: Two years ago, you break off your 5-year long engagement with Min Yoongi of the Min family and ran off to New York. However, for people like you, running away has never been a lasting solution.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader / Taehyung x reader

Warnings: None for this chapter. Y/N comes home, we meet Yoongi but not MEET-MEET. Might make you root for Taehyung. Notes: Short chapters for quicker updates is my jam. This took a while because i wasn’t sure how I wanted to present Yoongi yet. But here it is. He may be “kind” but there are other things at play that affected (and will affect) his decisions. Same with Y/N. Also Tumblr won’t let me tag some users. :(( I hope you guys find this update! And thank you for the people finding this fic!  Word Count: 1.6k Prologue  Lesson I 

Home.

Home shouldn’t be something you have to run away from. And yet, the moment you booked your flight, fingers tapping away on your phone - your passport details, credit card, seat number - an undeniable weight has began to made its home on your shoulders. As encompassing as a blanket but as imprisoning as heavy sand.

“What do you mean you’re flying to Seoul? Now??”

Isn’t it funny how things change in less than 24 hours? In a blink of an eye?

Taehyung’s voice is shrill in the background as you toss clothes upon clothes over your shoulder, hopping they’d get at least near the perimeter of your open suitcase.

Around you is your life in disarray. At the back of your mind, you find it slightly disturbing how easily it could fit in several boxes. No roots.

“Yes—“

“Why?”

You pause from grabbing your toiletries. There are things to do here in LA - there’s the campaign, the meetings with investors, your contracts, your would-be dog - your life.

Your mother told you that your father doesn’t want you to make the flight. That he’s fine, and it’s just exhaustion but the waver in your mother’s voice had your heart dropping straight to your stomach. And so despite her half-hearted protests, you’ve turned over your works over email and sent the rest for your assistants to manage.

Seoul may as well be just another place in the map. No, you’re not coming for Seoul, you’re coming for family.

You grab your phone off your bed side table and press it against your ear. “My dad had a heart attack.”

On the other line, you can feel Taehyung consider his words. “I’m coming with you.”

Your hands pause from folding your clothes and you look at your phone and as if seeing your questioning gaze, Taehyung plows on. “Yeontan and I are coming with you.” “Why?”

There are two ways for Taehyung to answer. One easy way is to tell you the truth. That he knows you need a friend, a tether to your life here, someone who will solidify what you’ve built. Someone, something tangible, someone to prove to you that your life here is as real as the life you left.

Going back always runs the risk of regressing, falling back to old patterns, he learned.

After all, he knows the feeling of being forced back to square one.

Or, he could tell you this, “My brother’s been bugging me to visit. And I hate flying alone.”

You don’t mention that he’s flown across the globe more than you could count - even flew to France once because he wanted authentic mille-feuilles - and just nod. “Okay, I’ll send you the flight details.”

“Okay, Lady, I’ll be there.”

The collapse of the CEO of the biggest chain of hotels and one of the upcoming land developers in an annual gala event can never be kept a secret.

You’ve seen it happen only once before, to Mr. Min. As a young girl, you remember how the media feasted around him like flies, and how shareholders of his company stalked around like wolves under sheep’s clothing.

It was as if everyone was waiting with a baited breath for the old man to die. A final shift of power from the old ways to the new. It was sensational, romanticized by the public - not sparing a thought or two to the families except when they needed something.

That was years ago, and it’s an unfortunate fact that hasn’t changed a bit.

“Well, can’t say I didn’t expect this - at least we look good.” Taehyung mutters, decidedly ignoring the occasional flash of camera in his periphery. They were still trying to be subtle, maybe not sure of the “scoop”? Scared of your supposed hidden bodyguards? Who knows?

“You always look good, Tae.” You whisper lightheartedly, forcing calmness in your words.

Around you, people continue to buzz around, grabbing their suitcases from the conveyor, talking on the phone, glancing at their watches. But they too have noticed, and glances towards your way multiply as the minutes pass by.

Taehyung hums in agreement, looking as if he hadn’t just flown across the world. “Yes, it requires effort, but don’t go telling them that.”

A loud shutter sound draws you away from your conversation and you boldly meet the lenses of a masked photographer eye-to-eye. Every bit of the Oh heiress they’ve built up in their mind.

Last time you checked, you were the high society’s prodigal princess. Ran away from home, off to play Cinderella in the United States. Keeping busy with shallow causes, burning through your daddy’s money.

You wonder how they come up with their headlines. You’ve long since given up in appealing towards their journalist’s ethics, but with how creative they come up with stories, you’re a bit disappointed with the headline you last read. The least they could do was make it more fun - a hidden lover? Pregnant? A twist, or something.

You scoff. Although you may have been away for two years, you still are your parents’ daughter. This is child’s play.

Dressed in a black luxury pantsuit, heels lifting you up from the ground and make-up on point, you provide no weak points. Eyes half-lidded you stare straight to the cameras who’ve come out of their hiding, propriety be damned and all.

Oh Y/N is back.

(And if it feels like shrugging on a second skin, you pay it no mind)

“Tae… Tae… Tae!”

Taehyung jostles awake beside you, the hand you were shaking him with falls on your lap. “Wha— What?”

Yeontan’s yip echoes his owner’s confusion. The sound sounding as exhausted as he probably is. Flying has and will probably always be stressful for pets, but Taehyung refused to have someone dog sit Yeontan for this trip saying that he needs to meet his cousins, RJ or something.

Your eyes soften at your friend’s sleepy eyes. Outside the sky is bright, but you too can feel the time difference and jet lag creeping up.

“Sleep this off at the hotel, Tae. I’ll have the driver drop you off.” You’re already reaching out to press the button for the partition when Taehyung shakes his head.

“‘M not sleepy.”

“You’re dead on your feet, Tae.” Fondness laced in your words, you watch Taehyung straighten in his seat beside you and card his fingers through his hair, making the mess look like a ~coordinated~ one.

“I’m not letting you go there alone.”

“I’m going to the hospital, Tae, not war.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes. Taehyung spies the way you tuck your hands around yourself, almost curling inwards, almost shaking.

No.

“Could’ve fooled me, you’re dressed to kill.”

You look over expecting a teasing grin on his face but you falter, frozen, at the sight of his eyes. Dark chocolate eyes pin you to your spot, and heat blooms on your cheeks. Suddenly, you feel like your suit is too tight and even in its dark shade - too sheer.

Almost two years of friendship has not rendered you immune to Kim Taehyung.

Like the passing scenery, the moment is gone as quick as it came. Taehyung smiles and lifts Yeontan to his shoulder.

“He’s going to be there, isn’t he?”

There’s no question as to who he’s referring to. “He might be, my mom said he almost hasn’t left my dad’s side.”

Taehyung scoffs, “Like a vulture.”

You want to defend Yoongi but despite leaving the country because of him, you did keep updated. Partly because it’s ingrained to you to stay on top of news relating to your family business and its periphery but also… well, you don’t know what you hoped for.

In the span of less than two years, Min Yoongi dragged their struggling company and made it great again. Competitors lost out, assets were seized left and right, absorbed, repurposed in the gaping maw of a resurging giant.

He’s ruthless.

But you can be too.

Oh Jiyoung is not a young man anymore.

He doesn’t think he’s been young since his mother abandoned him and his father when he was ten. He wasn’t young when he left school at fifteen, or when he went back when he was eighteen.

He wasn’t young when he bussed tables, or worked in shucking oysters Yeosodo with swollen scarred hands. He wasn’t even young when he first met his wife, fell in love and learned what it was like to be loved back.

So, no, he isn’t surprised when he had a heart attack. A little off-put, and a bit terrified but not surprised. He’s lived more decades than he actually expected to already.

Looking down at his hands, he thinks that if he’d kicked the bucket right then and there the only true regret he’ll have is one that involves the young man across him.

Oh Jiyoung is old, but he hasn’t forgotten the mannerisms of a young man. His wife still makes him feel like one after all this years. So of course, he’s noticed the young man across him fiddle with his rings, his feet tapping to a rhythm only he knows.

“Don’t tell me you’re nervous.”

Yoongi looks up from his seat to the teasing face of his would’ve been father-in-law. His thumb pauses from rubbing against the ring in his forefinger, he doesn’t answer. He feels the stare of your father bore down on him and he almost shifts like a boy caught in a lie.

Your flight has landed just less than two hours ago, he doubts you’ll give yourself time to rest first before heading to the hospital. Which means, any time now, those doors will open and you’ll be here.

How odd.

As if summoned, the doors open and —

— there you are.

Yoongi’s eyes don’t stay on you too long, not with a tall man hovering behind you, dark eyes trained on him. Your ease at this man’s close proximity sets fire at the back of his neck, and even if he wanted to say hello, this, instead comes out.

“The rumors are true then, huh?” 

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#chaebol min yoongi #CHAEBOL TAEHYUNG #chaebol reader #CEO min yoongi #Future CEO reader #model taehyung #foiled arranged marriage #arrianged marriage au #marriage of convenience AU #Yoongi x reader #min yoongi #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts angst #yoongi angst #lessons to build #bangtanarmynet