#it's happiness again and instinct

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

the end of 505: 2007 vs 2023

#don't even talk to me about the way the moment the song finishes alex seeks miles's gaze out #the way they're so immediately and instinctively drawn to each other #and how after over fifteen years it's just the same #the same inescapable awareness of each other #of being so caught up together #the only thing that's changed is that if anything they look even more at ease with each other now #there's a little less of the nervous over-awed quality and more of a deep sense of love and ease and belonging #i can't even think about how reluctant they are to let go of that hug in the second gif #how alex is still looking and smiling at miles even as he walks away #aghhhhhhh #i'm entirely too emotional over them and i need to go to sleep #tonight was a lot in the very best way #i'm so so happy they got to share a stage again on such a special and significant night 🤍 #milex #miles kane #alex turner #tlsp #arctic monkeys #505 #milex 2023 #dublin #my gifs #lulu posts

[ilovebeingaturtle]

I don’t really ship 87 Ramona (although I do love the idea of them in a QPR) but. If they did feel romantically for each other it would take forever for them to actually get together, if they even do, in sharp contrast to the 2012 “we’ve known each other two hours now we’re committed for life” speedrun. Raphael would have fallen in love years ago but would not recognise this fact once. Mona Lisa is also part of the problem. She has a layer of superficiality she always uses as protection over her true feelings, so how does she even know her flirting is sincere? How would Raphael be supposed to know? She’d overthink it. Also she’s a lesbian so falling in love with your best friend is like mandated and agonising. She’d have accepted her fate and already resigned herself that it’s never going to happen. She’s just happy they’re close to each other. Meanwhile Raphael thinks “huh, I want to marry her” then goes about his day. This realisation occurs multiple times but he never reads into it.

#tumblr user bulbabutt got me brainrotting about the blorbos again sigh #87!Raphael being aroace means so much to me but he can find his best friend pretty. as a treat #like I think no matter what Mona Lisa is someone who makes him happy in a way no one else does #he sincerely cares about her and thinks highly of her #whether that’s romantically or platonically is second to just have a sincere connection #they’re on the same wavelength! #Raphael has the autistic instinct to view the perfect someone you could do an improv comedy tour with as his forever life partner #also he thinks she’s cute 💖 #I can ramble forever about my thoughts on Mona’s perspective on this too but I should probably just save it for a proper post one day #or the fic I’m working on #whichever comes first AHA

[sysig]

You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Kayako #And Teisel's there technically #*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent #Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol #ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible #His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations! #Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3 #I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger #Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha #His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha #Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol #It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :') #So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous #I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit #Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider! #ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe #In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol #And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding! #The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪ #His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection! #It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥ #It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3 #That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

#N posts stuff #one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety #now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body #but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself #like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao #bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something' #like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with #is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again #and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than #'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it #which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that #so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :) #if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively #like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away. #and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered #like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?' #dimension 20 #d20: stupendous stoats #tula #d20lb

[batfamhyperfixation]

I need more content of Tim's jealousy when other siblings come in and become close to Dick. Like every time someone says Damian is Dick's favorite it hurts my heart a little cause I know how Tim would feel.

It's one thing for a younger sibling to grow up with you, cause like at least then you all have your defined roles and it's like what you know so you aren't stepping on one another's toes, but like it's something completely else to have a sibling who is already grown up come into the family and become siblings with your sibling.

It is just like that longing feeling when you see them together and like they haven't known each other as long yet they seem closer to your sibling than you are, and everyone knows they are the favorite and you are just like how do they get along so well with so little effort.

I need more Tim and Dick content like this. The boy went from being Dick's only sibling still around (aka no competition for being brothers and nothing to compare it to) to being like 1 of 5 of dick's siblings, and I know this also goes in reverse where the newer sibling is jealous of the older two siblings for already having the established bond, but I dont see enough of Tim having bitter envy of how close Damian and Dick are despite not knowing each other as long, like you want angsty relationships DC, show me this instead of just everyone trying to kill Tim, show me silent envy that grows more and more as it slowly decays a sibling relationship instead of like a weird ritual where if you wanna be apart of the family you have to attempt to kill tim

#sometimes i just need angsty tim #not tim getting targeted by siblings or tim getting annoyed at siblings #just Tim who finally became brothers with his idol and hero and formed a relationship with having to watch as it goes from their small #contained group of dick tim Bruce and babs where tim is like the best brother dick has got to everyone especially damian coming in #and tim feeling crowded out and jealous as damian and dick become closer than tim and dick ever were and tim slowly pulls away #and at first dick not even noticing and tim feeling guilty every time a dispute comes up and feeling guilty over how happy he feels when #damian ticks dick off and tim starts throwing himself into other things and flakes/cancels on things he and dick have planned and #finally one time tim and dick are sitting around and tim is like i miss how close we were and dick laughing is like well you're so busy now #and tim is like 'well its not like you need me anyway you have damian and jason and cass and duke and- nevermind' tim cuts himself off #dick is like 'timmy you know im still here for you just like before' and tim is just like 'yeah sure whatever' and heads out and then dick #starts noticing that tim is keeping him at arms length so he keeps trying to connect and he sees how tim keeps getting close with others #but that he refuses to with dick and then the jealousy is both ways and slowly they start to come together again as brothers and things #arent quite the same and probably will never be but they are still brothers and they love each other #but things are complicated when you go from the only sibling to having like 5 siblings and i want that explored more #i want these complex sibling relationships dc. give me this over trying to kill tim. there is more to siblings than the cain instinct. #anyway thats my rant #tim drake #dick grayson #batkids #batfam #bat family #batsiblings

[inismor]

every once in a while i have an interaction with a spider that goes completely chill like rn i was just vibing in bed when i felt one walking along my arm, in front of my phone screen and waddling off into the darkness without me really thinking anything of it & only after its done i realize that this makes me braver than half the US marines in the eyes of 70% of the population

#i think i even know this specific spider bc i keep seeing a similar sized one around the corner closest to my bed #i wonder where it was going. taking a nightly stroll #also for a bit of context i have a lot of plants in my house so i get tons of those tiny dirt flies #and when i sit w my phone up late theyre drawn to the light and bump into me so im used to light sensations on my skin #unless they get particularly annoying its just not worth it to bother w shooing them away #so i acted the same with the spider instinctively #if it's the same one then its happened like one or two times before where it walked over my hand while i was chilling here #after the initial 0.3 second surprise alert reaction im just happy to see it again if anything. he's my roomie #spiders cw #como misadventures

[craycraybluejay]

i miss them.. they made me feel so excited and hurt and scared and things.. i fucking hate them its been years and i miss this stupid motherfucker suddenly again

#all the degrading and control god take me back #the cruel indifference #do all dreams have to end? #i dont know if ill ever feel so indulged again #so allowed to be feral. animal. nothing but instinct and sensation #it was complete chaos and it was 'morally corrupt' but by god it kept me so happy and satisfied #i dont think ive felt anything but fleeting (minutes) joy since it was over i didnt have that crutch anymore #i was right. it left me untethered. #untethered much like a balloon i will float float float away #and im still angry still impulsive and pain seeking and hungry #whenever i felt i was going to explode out of my skin i had an outlet #without one i get physically sick with it with all the energy and feeling and impulse #its like my whole body is wrapped in live wire #worse was that i trusted them and it wasnt just a clean cut and dry its over #it was ugly and fucking awful and completely caught me off guard #i still have the memories saved i could go and look #i shouldnt. not tonight. not this impulse #i will become so much angrier it isnt worth the pleasure

[cptnghoulowl]

I'm a Hunter fan blog now. He is my son and I'm so proud of him for existing and growing and just

LOOK AT MY BOY, PRECIOUS BABY

MUST PROTECT

#the owl house #toh #the owl house spoilers #the owl house season 3 #hunter toh #(stares at Belos) dont talk to me or my son ever again #HE LIKES WOLVES ITS SO SWEET #i just want to him live a happy life #is that too much to ask for #yes thanks to them destroyed me #i wanted to reach into the screen and give him a big hug #hes been through so much GIVE HIM A BREAK PLEASE #he was already one of my favs before but this special just made all the protecc instincts come up to the surface so welp

[akagamiko]

Thinking about however mean Shanks was to Luffy he'd be 10x meaner to Ace if he'd known him when he was a kid.

Partially, it'd come from some childlike bitterness. Ace is Roger's true son and Roger never saw Shanks as his own despite raising him. But the other part is because he'd totally see Ace as a little brother and would absolutely want to demolish that kid out of brotherly love.

#happy au where roger and rouge live like #roger handing shanks baby ace and he just immediately throws him across the room #but if anyone else is mean to him they're dead :) #shanks is kind of a bully to kids but in a playful way #(if they can take it) #i DO think he knows when to back off/when he's actually upsetting a kid #which is not his goal #he just likes to rile them up #if they get upset he's gonna go into full clown mode and start freaking out until they feel better #HEADCANON. #having many thoughts today #opla shanks only teased luffy a little bit and not the point of causing a child to absolutely lose it :(:( #anyway shanks sees ace and the cain instinct is activated #also thinking again about how roger just really messed up shanks psychologically #brain beams @ rye wherever you are <3

[myhyperfixationisback]

Sony please release your cruel and un-creative grip on my autism creature game series. I beg of you. Let them at least start naming the series innuendos again… PLEASE. I’m sorry the Future series ever even got released at this point PLEASE go back to the old ways I beg you‼️

#ratchet and clank #the talkinator 2000 #I say this as someone who’s first game from the series I watched was Tools of Destruction and who’s first game I played was A Crack in Time #if all it led to was the series getting turned into the next ‘plays like it’s a Pixar game’ bullshit #I would have never wanted them 😭 #like this SUCKS man. the old ratchet and clank was full of so much personality it feels like the new ones are a corporate PARODY of it #let them name the games stupid dick jokes again. I KNOW it’s sony doing this. PLEASE #STOP MAKING RATCHET SO SERIOUS. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY #to be clear I’m not saying what makes the old games good is all the dirty jokes. #but I WILL say the dirty jokes prevent the series from taking itself too seriously #which it has started to do. #man at this point I don’t give a shit about the Lombaxes! give me another evil capitalist to throw into the moon!! #and the ‘last of their kind’ trope really is getting milked for all its worth and I’m tired of it!! #clank’s ‘chosen one’ trope story had more creativity man!! #alister was like the one spark of life in the lombax thing and then it went straight to bland again #the main characters don’t NEED this to be interesting. they don’t need greater than themselves destinies. #ratchet and clank and the other characters are interesting and fun without that!! #the thing I always liked is that Ratchet is the gun happy mechanic and Clank is the quipping impulse control with the hero alignment #the hero thing rubs off on Ratchet and he does start being a hero with Clank but it’s not his first instinct lol #also extremely sad that the reboot took away the running joke that Clank is the one getting the glory for their heroics #they don’t have a destiny reason for getting into the hero thing. they just got started and liked it and kept going #a lot of the times neither of them even WANTS to be involved they just get roped in!! #like you can do some background shit for them but throwing out all the rest that makes these characters fun to focus on it isn’t the answer #man I just. miss the fun and weird stuff they used to do with the characters and cast and places #they still do big environments but there isn’t other fun wacky shit to match #it’s just ‘destiny’ and heroism. that was never the point of this series 😭

[hannahhasafact]

When I was a kid I would pride myself on never crying about stuff right? Now I cry at things constantly, which for this week include:

A video of a woman telling her brother he’s going to be an uncle

That Billie Eilish song from the Barbie movie playing on the radio

The fucking 2011 film Rio when at the beginning Blu’s crate gets knocked off of the truck and he’s so scared and just a baby oh god I’m getting teary eyed thinking about it

#ramblings #I don’t know if you’d call it a maternal instinct but when a kid in media is in a scary situation I’m crying I just want to help them 😭 #they’re just a baby! #(tbh this is more for baby animals LOL) #also specifically the part in the barbie song where she’s like #I used to be happy but I can be happy again or whatever it says OOF #really gets me sobbing

[seenthisepisode]

:)

#oh my god sometimes life IS actually worth living i am ON FIRE i have slept maybe 4 hours in the last 48 but oh my god #i hated my life so much last week BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT TO SURVIVE because. like. is there a more wholesome band than simple plan #i was like nooo i will save money and not buy merch BUT i saw the shirt with the scooby doo van and. i lost control #and then i bought meet and greet. it was pure instinct #and i honestly couldn't be more happy i am close to tears actually #i mean i already feel my throat start to get sick but that's another story #but i was literally starting to have REALLY Bad Thoughts TM last week and now???????? #i am alive girl AND I WANT TO GO SEE THEM AGAIN 😭😭😭😭 #personal

[cilantrospirit]

it's not that I didn't feel loved by mama as a kid OR that I don't feel loved by her now. it's that if I knew, as a kid, what I know now, I would not have felt loved then. which. dunno what to do with that feeling

#like I retroactively feel that the relationship has been repaired but it was never bad to start with #*I* severed it a bit in high school out of anger (would have done so more but had no power to lol) #all the parental relational trauma lit talks about childhood and adulthood but what about the teens who had great childhoods #& go on to have happy adulthoods #what about the teens having a shit time?? I feel crazy does anyone have a resource? my kingdom for a Resource? #I'm so afraid to start therapy again because what if I need my fear responses 🧍what about my lifesaving “overblown” fear responses #'work on not shutting down/lashing out/ruminating/fawning when-' I NEED TO! I NEED TO TO LIVE! AM I CRAZY??? #not even alison bechdel can save me so I'm Fucked /j #my first instinct is always to talk to mama about it 🧍and what's worse is it helps 90% of the time❗absurd #in which they speak

[tteokdoroki]

katsuki is such a good dad im gonna throw up

#you have two kids pretty close together and pretty young too #and it’s a good while before you have like … one or two more #but every time he gets the jitters about it #feels like a new dad all over again #but as soon as you put that baby into his arms #All his natural instinct kicks in #i think your daughter you would have young like 26-27 #as your first and she’s probably a happy accident #your second #your son is less of a happy accident since hero work is more intense and you’ve probably been so busy #But you plan the third and fourth #🗑. aali’s chatroom

[eyes-above--the-waves]

The difference between Tumblr pessimism and Facebook pessimism after a Leafs loss is hilarious.

All of us are here like, “my life is over, i’ll never recover” and then 5 minutes later go back to reblogging stupid memes and talking about how pretty mitch’s eyelashes are.

Facebook has gone straight back to, “they’ll never win now. this team sucks. the core 4 never show up. i knew they couldn’t do it. blah blah blah blah blah...”

All that to say, people should hang out here after games and not on other social media sites. We’re way more fun and don’t disown the entire team when they lose. Also, we have gifs. 

#if i never hear a facebook neckbeard say the words 'no killer instinct' ever again i will be a happy camper #toronto maple leafs

[cluescorner]

Diluc and Childe have equal but opposite energy

Diluc is ‘fantastic fucking person, shitty brother (starting to get better but he’s still shitty)’ 

Childe is ‘shitty person, fantastic fucking brother’

It’s why I both like them and yet I want to kill them, but in opposite ways. It’s this weird older sibling there where when I see another older sibling fucking up I am taken over by an uncontrollable anger. Like, NO YOU FUCK YOU HOLD THEM GENTLY AND TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM. At the opposite angle, if I see an older sibling who does I good job I respect them more and like them more, even if they’re a shithead. 

#diluc ragnvindr #childe #childe tartaglia ajax #three-names mcgee #tartaglia #ajax #CHOOSE A NAME ALREADY YOU FUCK #to be very clear this is not me shitting on either character #I genuinely think they're both good characters who have great moments #but again #it's the older sibling instinct #I know that Diluc got a lil fucked up and I'm not one of those people who's like #'Diluc did everything wrong' or 'Kaeya did nothing wrong' they both fucked up #but AS A SIBLING WHEN YOU FUCK UP YOU APOLOGIZE AND TRY TO MEND THAT BRIDGE #WHICH DILUC IS STARTING TO DO AND I RESPECT HIM FOR IT #BUT IT TOOK YOU LITERAL YEARS #whereas Childe is a good older brother who I still want to maim because he's an asshole #i didn't like him at first and then I did his story quest #And I was like 'I get it' #'I would also literally put my life in danger and turn into a horrifying abyssal monster to make my little brothers happy' #this is why I like the story quests so much #genshin impact #all of this is /gen and /lh