#it's just a chore that I've neglected and is going to take a few days to get caught up on

[g3tosugu]

can’t get enough

wriothesley x f!reader

wc: 1.7k

cw: reader is neglecting their health, fainting and i think that's it, but please do tell me if i missed one!

synopsis: you pick up an extra shift at Cafe Lutece but, it proves to be too much on your body as you continue neglecting your needs and Wriothesley is there to figure out why.

a/n: eeek! first post hope u like it :3c i've never written genshin stuff before which is why this is kinda short lol so please forgive me if it's not that good!!

Picking up another shift at Cafe Lutece whilst you were in the middle of prepping and training to begin work at the Fortress of Meropide was probably not the best decision you have ever made in your life. You could have easily quit your job or asked for more leniency with your scheduling and Arouet would surely understand if you explained the situation you were in. The only issue with that was you didn't want to also put him in the tight spot of having to find a replacement, especially since the Cafe was already short staffed at the current time. And now, you have decided to overwork yourself more.

The place was absolutely jam packed with people. There was a pretty intensive trial that was held today and the people who attended were starving and eager to chat about the turnout of the trial over a meal. You're not sure why you set yourself up for disappointment when you convinced yourself it wouldn't be too busy because of the rain. Instead of being a nice regular 8 hour shift, you instead were met with a very busy and never ending 10 hour shift. When you arrived an hour earlier to the Cafe today you had no idea that extra hour of leisure time was going to be something that was so vital. Too late now. You finish your shift as efficiently as you possibly could with what little energy you had left in your system.

As you exited the building, you were met by Arouet who had been out saying his farewells to the final customers of the evening. "Thank you so much again for all your help today Y/n! I really don't know what I would have done without you" he thanked you with a warm smile. You tried your best to muster a more enthusiastic response, but all you could bring yourself to do is give him a tired smile and say "Don't worry about it, boss. It's my pleasure to help you as you have helped me by giving me this job".

When you moved to Fontaine from your home of Monstadt you didn't have anything. Sure, you had your bag you had packed with things of sentimental value and some clothing but, that was it. You couldn't even bring mora with you because you had none to your name due to never having to work back in Monstadt. Your family had always taken care of you. So when you were telling them about you moving so far away, they tried to give you basic starter funds but you declined. You even lied and told them you had some mora saved from doing favors and chores for other people (usually older people) just so they wouldn't worry further. With your lack of job experience and no funds or place to go, Arouet saw how determined you were to make the most out of your situation and decided to give you a job as a waitress.

Arouet studied your face for a moment before giving a sympathetic smile. "You look like you could use a nice relaxing evening and you deserve it. Go home and be safe and please take the day off tomorrow" he gently patted your shoulder. The sudden contact and thought that you get a whole day off the next day made you perk up a little more, "Oh, thank you so much, boss! I will and same to you as well, of course. I just have somewhere to stop and then I will go home for the night".

The first few times you entered the Fortress of Meropide it was a very nerve wracking experience. You had no idea if it was a rowdy and rugged environment or a serious and strict one. But, you soon realized it wasn't as horrific and terrible as you initially thought it would be. Regardless, it was still to be considered a dangerous environment. Thankfully, with Wriothesley around, you never felt like you needed to worry.

As the guards walked you up to the large metal doors to the Duke's office, you heard a familiar voice call out to you from the cafeteria area. "Y/n! Wait!" she ran up to you enthusiastically. "Hello Sigewinne" you patted the half Melusine girl on the head and smiled at her. "What are you doing here? I didn't think you were stopping by since you seemed to be working late" she smiled up at you, but everything started to feel fuzzy. Your eyelids became harder to keep open, your vision was going in and out of focus and you started seeing spots. "Y/n?" Sigewinne called out to you, worried by your lack of response and the way you were looking physically. Before you could give her the reassurance you so desperately wanted to, you collapsed to the ground.

"Y/n! Oh no..." Sigewinne quickly walked to your side and began trying to rouse you awake. The guards that were with you quickly clamored around you to protect you from any onlookers. In the midst of the sudden event, the loud metal doors to the Dukes office opened and out came Wriothesley. "What's all the commotion out here about?", his eyes searched for just a split second before they landed on Sigewinne standing over your unconscious form with a very troubled look on her face. "Everyone move" Wriothesley ordered the guards and they immediately met his demand in return. He quickly knelt down and picked you up bridal style and started carrying you towards his office. "Wait! We need to take her to the infirmary so I can perform a proper check up!" Sigewinne tried to stop him. "You can treat her in here can't you? I don't want her out here. I want to be able to keep an eye on her" his gaze was serious and his jaw was set. He was clearly fully intent on doing this, so Sigewinne just sighed and nodded in response as she followed him into his office.

Your eyes fluttered open and you searched around your environment to try and decipher where you had ended up. Wriothesley's office. "You're awake?" you heard Wriothesley rise from his chair and walk around his desk. You slowly began to sit up and when your eyes met his, you looked away in embarrassment. You knew Sigewinne checked your condition and told him you were neglecting your needs. You had hardly eaten and you weren't sleeping a full night's rest for the past week. His eyes said it all to you. He was disappointed.

After a moment of you avoiding looking at him while also feeling his own gaze piercing right through you, you sighed. "You're disappointed in me" you looked down at your hands in your lap. "Disappointed?" his face had confusion present on it but, you fail to see it as you are still too afraid to look him in the eyes. "Oh no, I've probably frightened Sigewinne terribly, I should go show her I'm alright" you try to quickly excuse yourself from the situation. "I don't think so" Wriothesley firmly but gently grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him so he could swiftly lift you onto his desk, his palms planted firmly on the desk at your sides, effectively caging you in. You're still looking away from him. "Come on sweetheart, look at me. Please?" his voice soft in a way to show you that he isn't upset with you.

You slowly raised your head and finally met his eyes. He looked at you in a way that made you feel like you were the answer to all problems in the world. Like you were something precious and sacred. "There she is" he smiled warmly. The smile you gave in response wasn't one the same warmth in return, it was an apologetic one. "You've been overworking yourself, haven't you?" he tried to coax you to explain yourself. You nodded, "I took an extra shift at Cafe Lutece today while I've been prepping to become a nurse here". "Oh? You're going to be working here? How was I not made aware of this?" he asked as he finally moved away from you to fold his arms across his chest.

The guilty expression on your face made him let out a soft, "Y/n...". "I told Monsieur Neuvillette to keep it a secret because I was afraid you wouldn't allow me to pursue it" you admitted. "I see" he nodded and sighed. "Well, I just want to say first and foremost" he moved toward you again and placed a tender kiss on the top of your head, "I'm not disappointed in you. Not for what happened today or for keeping this secret from me" he reassured. "I also want you to know that you can do whatever you want. I don't ever want you to consider my own thoughts if you are going to put them above your own. At that point my feelings don't entirely matter do they? You are free to do as you please" he gently lifted your chin with his hand so you could look at him again.

"Besides, you act like I wouldn't want to see this gorgeous face everytime I come into work" he grinned as he removed his hand from your chin. You smiled the first genuine happy smile all day. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you want to be a nurse down here?" he asked as he took your hand in his to help you steadily hop down from his desk. "Well, I would love to work with Sigewinne of course. You know I adore her and I know she could teach me a lot of things. Her point of view in life is always so fascinating and wonderful to me as well" you went on to explain. As you went on, Wriothesley just had the most lovesick expression plastered on his face and you made note of it. "And don't act like I don't want to see your gorgeous face everyday when I come to work" you use his own words on him with a grin. He chuckled and shook his head "You're a very dangerous woman". "Hmm, maybe I've just been around you too much" you joke. Instead of laughing in response with you, he pulled you against him by your waist. "I don't know about you, but you could never be around me too much" his eyes studied every detail of your face, "No, matter of fact. I can't get enough of you sweetheart".

#genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin imagines #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley fluff

[shinjisdone]

𝒯𝒾𝒸𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒮𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

(A Yandere Pinocchio X fem!Reader fic from Lies of P)

Pɑɾt 1; Sluɱbeɾ

capitolo uno

capitolo due

capitolo tre

capitolo quattro

capitolo cinque

capitolo sei

capitolo sette

capitolo otto: is here

capitolo nove

Capitolo dieci

Pɑɾt 2; Awɑƙeƞiƞƍ

It was a privilege to share the same blood as Giuseppe Geppetto. To be his family, his niece and take part in the marvelous worlds of puppets. The privilege to learn from him as his apprentice. The privilege to care for the things he cares for and to have the things he cares for, care deeply for you.

Tag list:

@greeknerd007 , @mitsureigen , @kame11a , @thirdblogsacharm , @sarah22447 , @blueberryhitosh1 , @written1nthest4rs , @huicitawrites

TW in general: Yandere behaviour, creepy and still puppet, dubious intentions and relationships

[TW for this one specifically include: Hurting an injury, threatening tension, creepy puppets, advice that could almost be seen as a threat, grief, slightest meltdown and crying]

The clouds were thick and heavy - if only they wouldn't deter you with their gray color and the fog they brought with them, you could at least watch the city's lights from your window.

Not even imagining them as cotton candy ceased your boredom. They were just too grey, too ugly. Not an ounce of sweetness.

Laying down on your bed, you adjusted the book with one hand. Even with the thick blanket and the pillow supporting your head and shoulders, staying still like this for so long felt uncomfortable. The pages tardily turned as the hours passed.

On the first day, you mainly slept through your exhaustion.

You'd often hear your uncle rummaging through the workshop. He'd stalk from one room to the next, shift a few things, opening and closing creaking doors. You occupied yourself with cleaning your humble room, though it dragged on. Perhaps you should get yourself a few fancy furniture like Uncle yourself. Your arrival had been a few months ago.

On the second day, you took care of small chores you've neglected throughout your project.

The raindrops on your window slowly dried up. You postponed to wipe the glass clean since the constant drizzle would stain them but feeling optimistic that the sun would pop up, you spent the morning wiping the windows. You did hear on the radio that the weather was supposed to get better in the coming days.

You were very well aware that you were supposed to rest. Yet testing out your injured hand to clean the windows, you felt some cautious hope that you could continue with your routine with the smallest of pains. Pretending to work with one thumb less wouldn't be the death of you.

Geppetto restocked the tea you so liked. Fresh leaves with a hot kettle next to your little table did wonders to brighten your mood even though you somewhat struggled to hold the wrench with four fingers. Once again, a round of footsteps were heard, louder this time, as the older man passed by you. Swiftly turning his gaze to you, he stopped abruptly, documents in his hand and melon hat always on his head whenever he was ready to leave the workshop again. "Are you sure that is a good idea, my dear?" He sipped on his cold coffee as he intently watched you.

You shot him a smile over your shoulder, sitting with your back turned to him. "I won't work the entire day. Just going to do some...time blocks every now and again." You closed the small opening on the upper part of the chest, before going in for the heart. The cables were still a mess. "Besides, I just think it'd be a shame to leave them like this, all alone. I've been tinkering on them for, what, one and a half months? And so inconsistently, too."

All this time they've been brushed aside. If the butler brothers had a human heart, it sure would have been long broken.

Geppetto sighed. "It is admirable that you are so diligent despite your injury. Many would just push their work away. But you - you are always as busy as a bee." He chuckled, "Take the defective arms to the work room. It'll be more comfortable to work there."

"But you use that room mostly, Uncle." The man took one last sip and waved his hand. He gave you a grin. "No matter. Take the room, I'll be gone and busy at the Workshop Union mostly anyway with a few colleagues. Feel free to take as much time as you want and leave the limbs there, it will not bother me." You couldn't hide your grin. "Thank you, Uncle. The butlers will be up and at 'em in no time!"

Geppetto only nodded and smiled before leaving again.

On the third, fourth and fifth day, you were tinkering away, the butlers limbs on an table.

On the sixth day, oil ran out. The elbows shrieked like an braying animal when bending, so they were left on the table, lights out, until the Workshop Union would be stocked up again. Your room was a sight for sore eyes, clean and tidy, compared to the working room downstairs. Blinking, the light from your window blinded you briefly.

That's right. It was finally sunny in Krat.

Looking back down, you finished the doll's hair. You used to braid and style it when young and it was nostalgic to do it once again and especially productive with a clear goal in mind.

Though you used to talk to your doll, Aurorie obviously never answered. Yet your experiment - which you'd still best keep a secret - intriguied you. You were far from able to make puppets really take in information and construct an reply based on that. Training them to listen and act upon basic orders was something you grew familiar with quite early in your life thanks to Geppetto, but that was as far as your knowledge went.

Now you knew how to make them repeat your words like a cockatoo.

Slowly, fingers stopped gliding down the blonde locks and you turned her around. Her eyes met yours as if she was contemplating things on her own as well, staring into your soul. Knowing what it meant when you held her like this, when you looked at her like this. She always smiled at you.

Wood screeched and a door was burst open. Rushing down the stairs, your eyes lit up when you saw the front door crack. Laughter errupted from the other side as their shadows casted by the light outside grew bigger.

You braked aburptly with a hitched breath. Scanning the emerging figures, you saw one, two, three and four men coming in. There never was more than your uncle.

As if he had read your mind, he noticed you with a grin. Quickly, you hid the doll behind your back.

With a wave of his hand the rest were welcomed in. He closed the door as some chatted along and took off their coats. One gentleman followed his gaze and approached you with a big smile of his own.

"You must be the apprentice." His hand was reached out and ready for your own, gait big and assured. His voice was deep but friendly, in an condescending way. You first glanced down at his gloved hand before looking back at his face and accepting the greeting. Geppetto followed quickly.

"Ah, that is my niece. She is training under me, yes". The man peeked from behind the other gentleman's larger frame. With a noise of acknowledgement, his attention would turn back to Geppetto and then to you. "Ah, so that's what it is! You mentioned that you had an apprentice but I wouldn't have guessed that it would be another Geppetto!" He laughed heartily. Geppetto replied with his own chuckles.

His handshake was long and crushing. You kept your cries to yourself and feigned a polite smile.

Dark mustache and beard were thick but kept neatly. His cylinder of quality material, even under the dim light and his grin that of an business man. A long scar flowed down his forehead down to his blind eye.

The only green one flickered to the bandaged hand he was shaking.

He glanced back to exchange looks with your uncle.

"I am Simon Manus, head leader of the Alchemists. A pleasure." He nodded before finally letting go of your hand. You mimicked and tugged yours behind your back. "A pleasure to meet you as well, Sir Manus. I...did not know we were getting visitors." "Oh, this is spontaneous," He waved his hand with a carefree tone, "We would have liked to spend this fair day not with work but well, it always waits and piles up. We only wished to speak with your uncle and couldn't quite find a better place for a conference. I hope this doesn't disturb your training."

You politely shook your head. "Not at all. Today has been an day off, anyway." Manus found another reason to laugh. "There is never a day off for those of the Monad Charity House! They keep all their youngsters as busy as bees!"

You grimaced at his booming bellowing. That was a name you had not heard in a long while.

The other man stepped forward, putting a foot between you and Manus. "Oh, but she learns under me under my roof. I wouldn't let a dear family member study it all with other peers when it is more effective to be taught by me personally." "Really?" The gentleman spun his head from him back to you, mouth that of an gaping fish out of water. "You must be lucky, miss, to learn under the great Guiseppe Geppetto! To even be his niece, how blessed you are! But please, do not turn out to be a workaholic like him!" Laughter again.

In turn, you courteously offered a bleak smile, nodding along.

"Now then," Taking a sharp breath, Geppetto came in between the two of you and gesutred to the hallway to the right. "Time is of essence and there is much to discuss. Shall we?" Manus nodded vigourisly, taking off his cylinder and followed along. Shooting you a glance, he curtly bowed. "It was nice to meet you, Geppetto's niece. As his apprentice and successor, I expect brilliant things from you."

Without another utter, the men left in a line like well-behaved children - but your good hand still clung to your doll. "Oh, uh, Uncle...!" You hesitantly sprung a step forward but the man in question held out his palm to you with an acute look. "Not today, my dear. Why don't you enjoy your day off and explore the rest of Krat? The circus re-opened with a brand new parade puppet and the weather is rarely this lovely." He watched you slowly shrink and finally give in with a nod. Gaze softening, he turned around and led the rest further into his domain.

On the seventh day, you stood alone and the Alchemists of Krat were invited into your workshop.

For a few minutes you stood there by the window, contemplating with a thick coat in your arms. The chirps of birds nor the chatting of people was a familiar tune here. Though Krat thrived on the puppets, none of them could brighten the sky like they do the people's moods. Aurorie sat on the corner of the bed, watching as you picked out one outfit after another - at last deciding on one you seldomly were able to wear here but were very much fond of - and almost ready to leave.

It felt nostalgic as well in a way. Visits to Krat were frequent but short in the past and for a child it always felt like exploring a new part of the city. It would change drastrically everytime you saw it, so this place was full of adventures, full of fairytales.

Your nose wrinkled as you grabbed the dark gloves on the table and put them gingerly on. They were too big.

Just as your hand hovered above the handle, you whipped your head back to the dim hallway echoing in whispers. The jolly laughter was but a short memory in your mind and the more you pondered on it, the more you remembered their hollow smiles. The sunlight outside was much more inviting.

"...To the right you can view the grand bridges connecting the buildings of our beloved city. Each day puppets check on its stability and status, making sure we all stay safe while entertaining us with their banter."

Eyes followed the upbeat voice halling from the moving train, even as the sight had already been ingrained into your mind. As the disembodied voice of another puppet promised, there were a bunch, hanging and sitting on the bridges with tools in their hands and fitting, dappered safety helmets on their tin heads. They waved and the awing passangers waved back.

You sat still with one hand on top of your other.

"Please note that - Now stopping at Krat Central Station. I repeat: Now stopping at Krat Central Station. Please mind your step - and don't forget to pay a visit to our newly opened circus! Now the colors pop brighter and are brought alive by our newest member, the Parade Master! Known for his mirthful smile as his dances-"

You were quick to get off before the next reprise. The trains got awfully full during the afternoon but it was worth the hassle. You surely wouldn't walk and lose your way. Dusting yourself off and adjusting your outfit, you walked up the stairs to Cersani Alley. That's as far as you knew your location would be since the rest of the place was full of signs, cuttboards of merry puppets ready to serve and posters about the oh so great circus and their parades. Besides, looking around the bumbling crowd, the families, their fancy attire, the balloons floating in the clear blue sky - a smile graced your face knowing all you had to do was follow the herd. Knowing that this is a bright, joyous day and that you were able to live in every day, that Krat could be your reality. Surrounded by the beauty of puppets. Perhaps you were blessed.

The crowd followed along nicely. Children would yell out and play, giggling in delight when handed out balloons in various shapes and little hats to wear. The parents were pranked with harmless jokes and the esteemed ladies bowed to and blown comedic kisses. Feigning bashful mirth, everyone continued on as the puppets waved them farewell.

You nodded and bowed to one you passed by, it did the same.

There it was, the thump, the stupid, cheesy grin. You had to bite your lip at this awfully childish behaviour you were dying to show - or, best, hoping to hide. An adult your age cannot act this silly, goodness, especially if people knew that you weren't even an local! How embarrassing it would be.

Not a local, that's how it felt as you marveled at the scenes before you. You have been here for months, tinkered on puppets almost identical as the ones greeting you yet it all felt so surreal to not sit behind the workbench but be part of the easily amazed citizens. It felt simple and light. You played with your fingers.

Blessed you were. The atmosphere and technology cannot compare to anything else you've ever seen or ever been to - Krat is an exception, the center of the new world it seemed. Yet there you were, hiding in your room and musing over a small toy that any other child in Krat would have long replaced with a better, bigger and aware puppet.

They flow as light as a breeze into the crowd, become one with the citizens. They are more home to this place than anyone as if this was their core and their very heart. Like flowers they bloomed from it, their vines thicker and stronger than anyone else's here, where they can smile and radiate instant happiness, bow and dance more elegantly than any aristrocrat and have man-made faces that seem more human than that of their creators. Their suits and attire never wrinkling, never littered with splotches as they wave about their limbs fulfilling the next order, eyes - as if they could really see from those, the public did not know where the vision was really located - trained on the target in question and ears - as if that is were the microphones were - perked up and ready to listen with a smile so bright and a strength so mighty they can pierce flesh-

"Oh!" Breath hitched in your throat, feeling your ankle twist and lose your balance until a gust of wind hit you in the face, a force not only getting you back on your feet but dragging you to the side of the street. You stumbled, vision hazy for a single moment, hands patting your shoulders.

"You alright, miss?" Inhaling sharply you whipped your head to a snout facing you. You took the close sight all in and a weight fell off your heart when you recognized long, flappy ears and a wide, dark snout with round, holes for eyes as green ones did the same in observing you. Their heavy boot took a step back and tilted their head to take a better look at you through the mask. "Hey, miss." In turn to their deep voice, you let out a breathy sigh, corners of your mouth crinkling up. "Yeah. Thank you." Simultaniously, you stepped back, holding your smile as your eyes mustered the man up and down. His person was heavily armed with pouches, a blade to the side of his hip and a pistol on the other. The coat, a murky dark brown and splotched, hung on his shoulders but with the tall and broad statue of his, shifting one weight on his left as he crossed his arms, he did not seem to mind the heavy material. You were sure if you wore it, it would drag you down to the ground.

A small scarf was around his neck, just as dark as his lightly hairy donkey mask. It blendid in quite well.

"Can't believe how people just lose sight on their way to a parade, and one just made of puppets out of all things." He talked with a grunt, sigh filled with disgust. "You're on your way there too, right?"

You looked back to his masked face and tried to hold eye contact through the small holes. "Ah, yeah. The crowd is pretty big so I thought if I just followed I'd get to the plaza." "The wave still pushed you around. Hm, I can accompany you to it if you wanna. Gotta take guard there anyway and you're sure to get there easily without tumbling down anywhere with a Stalker with ya."

"Er-" You briefly looked around the moving lines and congegrated circles marching on and disappearing into the alleys and plaza. A small noise escaped your throat, your hand covered the other in reflex. Your smile was too hesitant to truly shine to him. "...If you don't mind."

"Sure." Quickly he patted down at his pouches in a rythmatic manner, hand going to the sword and pistol first. Adjusting at last, the Stalker tilted his head and waved you after him. Just before you could follow closely, he offered his hand. "Stay behind or else people will think I'm arresting ya. Wouldn't want to be treated like a criminal at the parade, wouldchu?" Ah, uh," Your smile didn't reach your eyes no matter how much you tried to force it and you shook your head. "No."

Time seemed slower as you glimpsed between his mask and outstretched palm, breath stuck in your throat. However, just a moment later you meekly offered the same hand he did. "Oh," He lightly let out before taking your good hand. "We use the same one."

He wanted to become a Stalker too.

The wave was like a calm sea as you sailed through it with the Stalker as your captain. Instinctively you watched his dark ears peek up above the colorful heads of the crowd as he swiftly passed by each of them. He was sure in every step he took with his body tilting and swinging from side to side whenever he was just a hair's touch away from bumping into anyone. In just a few minutes, you jogged up the long and grande staircase of the street, as the commotion and music got louder and louder. Standing in your toes while trying to keep up with the donkey, you could make out puppet twins in matching outfits leading on the parade together with another pair juggling and giving away flowers. They've already come a long way, people marching with them with an appropiate distance to still esteem their performance, and you pointed at farther away to the big spring located at the plaza. Banners and flying hot ballons with their red and greens were seen far away, a stark contrast to the blue sky, and invited more. The Stalker swallowed down his sigh at your big grin and led you to it. Once he could find the best spot for you to enjoy and view at, he gave you a final pat on the shoulder before excusing himself. You thanked him.

"I'll be nearby though if trouble comes along. Just holler if you need help." You eagerly nodded. "Thank you again."

With a last wave of his hand, he disappeared into the crowd. Turning back, you waited for the next group to pass by like an excited child. The chatting of the people slowly ceased before an echo of an heavy thumb made them abruptly stop their prattling. Around the corner a huge, metal leg playfully showed itself going up and down, up and down, before roughly taking another step. Squeals of children followed each stomp and soon, one by one, an arm shot out and waved at the waiting audience. Loud cheers rung in your ears as you clapped as well as the biggest and newest member of the circus danced its way towards the plaza. A small duo of trumpet players on each side accompanied it.

A round of rallies full of hurrahs greeted the dancing puppet. "Parade Master! Parade Master!" was sung, especially loud by the children. The puppet with its big and burly form was built with something of three to four meters in mind, you reckoned, if the incredibly and comically long, black cylinder was not screwed on its metal head. Its shape reminded you of chimneys illustrated in fairy tale books and probably designed to have the kids get a kick out of it. The rectangular limbs moved freely, legs stomping in rythm to an made-up swing and its arms rotating 360 degrees, begging for people's laughter. While the majority of its body was metal painted to look like an magnificent coat, the upper part of it did seem like real cloth to you. While you applauded, your face soured in scrutiny with squinted eyes at the performing puppet. While it ushered people to sit on its shoulders to carry it around - with great awe as the response from the citizens including you, you couldn't deny it - the back of its 'coat' did have a long train divided into three parts floating about everytime it showcased its skills. It partly must be real cloth.

The face was oval accompanied with a big grin that showed a row of straight, white teeth. It's big nose was painted a lovely light red to give him the slightest resemblences to an sweet, unclely neighbor, especially with the receding hair line, as it shared sweets from a basket. The mustache and side hair were cables most likely connected to its system and curled around to give the illusion of facial hair. How quaint, you found it.

What a sweet and brightening puppet. All to bring joy to Krat.

"I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splending..."

Its singing was jolly as well. The rest of the crowd around you quickly caught on to the classic song and started to sing along. You couldnt help but let a giggle escape you and held no shame on joining in the puppet and the people. The Parade Master led the song with dramatic flair as if talking to each audience member who heard his voice, wanted or not. Singing to the stars, pointing to the sky and clenching claws to its non-existent heart. Bowing with a deep kneel, low enough to make the men on its shoulders yelp, before twirling around, several ballons in its claws and giving them away. Your wide eyes were hung on its movements no matter how ridiculous they may seemed, no matter how many people laughed at the antics or how gauche it got. It was fascinating to watch it feign tumbling only to get back up with vigor as everyone sang.

"I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder,"

Absent-mindedly you sang along as one of the trumpet players did. Its tin fingers snapped in rythm, clanking rather as it spun into your direction. Catching your figure, it bent its knees and offered an open palm with its head tilted. Its everlasting grin bore itself into your memory.

"Tell me, princess, when did you last let your heart decide?"

As its companions did the same, people joined - and it wanted to take you to the stage of the plaza you feared. Eyes went on to the only one not taking the invitation and once again, the puppet shifted closer. Tin fingers begged for yours. Frozen in place, you could only stare at its open metal hand.

"Over, sideways and under...on a magic carpet ride..."

Breath hitched, its eyeing your hand as it goes behind your back and with a trembling motion, you let a coin fall on its palm.

You swore its grin widened and it clutched onto the money in an blink of an eye.

"A whole new world!"

"A new fantastic point of view!"

It recoiled its arm suddenly and with the other one it offered a ballon. It let it go but with ease you caught it, twirling it around your fingers. You stepped back as it searched for another dancing partner.

"No one to tell us 'No',"

"Or where to go,"

"Or say we're only dreaming!"

You stepped further and further back, the chanting of the people growing monotone in your mind as you held onto the balloon. The Parade Master, as lovely as its movements were, was not something you could admire for so long. Your shoes' clicks loud enough for you to focus on as your gaze never left the puppet performance. The dancing enchanting but the actors-

"You really alright?" A yelp escaped you with a few people turning puzzled at the shrieking sound. You covered your mouth and hid from their gaze, face hot and flushed. Widened eyes stared at the perpatrator, who only looked down at you with confused, narrowed gaze. "Yer really out of place here. You wanna leave to a more quiet place?"

You looked to your left and right with a stutter. As the cheers and music grew louder, you managed to nod. With a wave of his hand, the Stalker walked forward and you, back hunched and small, tailed after him. Balloon floating above the heads of the mob, it grew smaller and smaller until it vanished from the plaza all together.

The rythm was off. Your eyes glimpsed at the muddy boots in front of you, the casual gait, the sword at the hip. All you were armed with was your wallet and a balloon tied around your wrist. Your fingers massaged your other hand.

"...You wanna sit down and catch a breather?" "Huh?" Head snapped up to the donkey mask with its snout tilted in your direction. He repeated himself. "You looked uncomfortable there."

"Oh, no." You tried to smile as you waved your good hand. "No...I just wasn't at a festival for so long now. I guess the huge parade took me off guard." You licked your lips. "I like parades and big, bumbling places and puppets but maybe I've just bitten more off than I could chew." You dryly chuckled. His eyes still stayed on your shrunken form, tilted even further before he briskly stared back on the road. The man chose an quieter alleyway with only a few late families and children fresh from school rushing by you. They skipped in their step, hollering a name and some pointing at your balloon in hopes they'll get one too from a puppet.

The Stalker hummed. "And all that to show off a new, chunky puppet." He outstretched his arms and dramatically waved them, "Happy Charlie!" His voice oozing with mockery as the laughing children ran past you. With a scoff, he let his arms fall. "What a terrible joke."

"You don't like the parade?" Carefully, you leaned your head to peek into his eyes to somewhat understand this pettiness, a skip in your step to catch up. "I don't like any of these puppet's play!" Turning to you he shot his arm to point back at the commotion lowly resonating, "Everyone is way too calm, too carefree! They keep forgetting that they are interacting with machines and not human minds!" Another scoff escaped him through the nosetrills of his mask and he focused on the road again. In a mumble he let out; "Just last week someone was hurt by a puppet."

Swiftly, his snout turned back into your direction at the sound of a sharp inhale. Through the small holes he stole a glance at the clenched jaw and the way you quickly tried to keep up with him again.

You licked your lips. "...What?"

"They tried to not have it publish it," The Stalker said, "It'd be an uproar if one of their beloved puppets were to harm a person, even if it was accidental, but it sure as hell would be good wake-up call for Krat. I know the truth - the higher-ups just wanna keep their vests nice and clean." The man kept on looking at you for an reaction, shaking his head at all the foolishness that the entirety of the city is committing in his eyes. "There's no way someone at the Workshop Union is not going to make a mistake, they're just human themselves. But to hide such a grande mistake even though someone got hurt, now that's unacceptable."

"I, uhm..." Unwittngly, you were looking around for an distraction as your mind went blank if ideas and responses, taking a small distance from the man. "Puppets have been manufactured here for decades. The safety data has been updated consistently through the years and each factory of the Workshop Union makes sure to follow them religiously." You spewed out as if it was a spell, "Surely somewhere something went wrong but it'd be odd if something so...severe happened after decades of perfection."

Again, he shot you a look but focused back on the road, turning the corner of the alley with you. "You sure know a lot about that, miss. You like the puppets?" Licking your lips, you needed to take a deep breath. Even now mustering a smile was difficult but you hoped this one was convincing enough for the Stalker. "I very much do. I have ever since...I was a kid." "Hm, stupid question." Loosening his mask slightly, he scratched part of his neck that was itching to peek out. "You went all the way here for this parade. Everyone likes 'em." He whispered.

The air felt heavy after that. Often you'd find yourself distracting yourself with the beauty of the young sunset as its rays sneaked between the buildings, between the bridges where the puppet workers were still checking them. Their movements the same rigid ones when you last admired them on the train. Their lengthy, wide figures were like shadows in the light orange glow with only the sound of metal coming in contact with metal being heard faintly.

"It's," You were still staring their silhouttes, "It's good to scrutinize such important work, you're not doing anything wrong. But maybe..." Slowly your head lowered, a sudden weight seeming to pull you down in a way that felt too familiar, and your voice lowered as well - like an apologetic child. A hand went up and wiped your nose after a discreet sniffle. "...Well, maybe things aren't as bad as they seem."

No one passed by you anymore. If these streets weren't familiar from the darkest depths of your mind you might have felt an surge of panic but this Stalker, armed with a blade an an donkey mask, was the most harmless person you've met today so far.

"You a puppet maker, miss?" Suddenly you sprung up, eyes now full and big as you finally rose from your shrunken form. You blinked rapidly, wiping your nose for the last time before looking at him curiously. "...I am in training. But have only started a few months ago." The man hummed, followed by a small 'That explains it' and tried to speak in an more upbeat tone. "It's just that ya seem old enough to have long graduated and I've never seen you in the Monad House." "Oh," You let out, cleared your throat, and tried to speak much more cheerful as well, "I, ah, am not from here. I came to Krat to start my training actually in the...Workshop Union, so I never attended the Monad Charity House. I, I have heard it's a great school though and that almost all of Krat's puppet makers graduated from there."

"Yer not from here? Well, you certainly have to have a talent then." A small chuckle escaped you. You looked back down to the ground.

"Yeah...I've been told that, too."

"Uhm, I'm sure you must be a talented Stalker too, then, if you guarded the entire plaza all by yourself." With a smile and a nod, you attempted to throw the compliment back. In return, the donkey laughed curtly. "My comrades left me there for 'a new experience' since I usually hang around the Alchemists looking out for their stuff. Never had to deal with a puppet there before." With a quick turn and move, he grabbed his pistol and spun it around, before quickly stashing it back to his hip.

"I did graduate with flying colors and became this spectacle of an Stalker today."

You couldn't help but soften your look. Eyes crinkled at the words and a more genuine feign of an smile graced your lips. He'd spun his toy sword around like that as well but often had it slip out of his grasp as he did so.

"Hey, now, listen. I'm sure I've dampened your mood. But I am serious and I know the truth." As the light had finally turned red and hit Krat, the both of you stopped at a crossroads. Left, the Central Station. Right, the Workshop Union and the Alchemists. Lifting his head high, the donkey decided to stop this pretending and spoke sternly once again. "You should know it too, since you are a puppet maker, or will be one. The Workshop Union isn't as pretty and diligent as they make themselves out to be and people are suffering because of it. If you wanna become a good and honorable puppet maker, make sure to be better than what we got now 'cause they are a bunch of liars."

Your eyes flickered from his form to the ground below. Dainty flowers snaked out of the crevices, tainted in red by the setting sun. The image of the man with the scar and your uncle behind him flashed in your mind.

"...I'll keep it in mind."

The Stalker nodded along and his gaze followed yours. He pointed to the left. "The trains leave in a few minutes, you'd have to wait for the next one in an hour to get to the Workshop Union. I can tag along if you want me to." You stared at the direction he pointed you, where people congegrated and the sun hit them. It'd be best to hurry but your head turned to the right.

"I think I'll take a short walk before that. Squeezing in there with the rest of the people would be too much." The man shrugged and scratched his head. "Whatever floats your boat. It was nice talking to you, I would've lost my minds with these overjoyed lot. Stay safe on your way home." With a final wave over his shoulder, he turned his heel and went back from where you came from. His ears swayed back and forth as he slowly vanished in the red light.

Your farewell was much quieter. With a long, withdrawn and almost painful sigh you let your arm fall and stood at the crossroads. The high whistling of the train called out the people like a herd, passing by you as they made their way downstairs to the station. Droning of chit-chats consuming and devouring the street. The people clad in gloomy red. The last call for the train of the automatic puppet voice rang through, your eyes drooped and hollow as they stared holes into the air. Pushing you with enough might that you had, you turned around and dragged yourself through crowd and onto the right.

The people less merry and less loud, the crevice now bricks with small stone fences and the red now blue.

The Monad Charity House was not touched upon like all the other buildings but it was clear that it was still taken care of. The marine blue that were the walls and the lovely white that clad the windows and roof. You wondered if somewhere there they had added or renovated rooms through the years but you couldn't know, you rarely went inside. Never was even allowed to stay the night for an sleepover. The fences made small and eyepleasing were only meant for the flowerbeds on the front to give it that trustworthy look parents needed when letting their children attend here. Roses, sunflowers, dhalias and daffodils bloomed healthily, taken care of by the children themselves. Whether they wanted to or not. It was good publicity.

Ambling into the yard, the fences quickly grew to broad walls. The evening approached. Children with homes were eating their dinners at this time and those who had not that, were at the parade, extending their time outside school and their many rules as much as they could. You knew that very well.

You also knew you'd see the old swing again. The playground grew larger and seemed to pop up a new device to play with each time you visited. You'd love to go here even when it was a school, even when it wasn't your school. Yours did not have the grande walls or the beautiful flowers, the chic uniforms or the big playground or any sophisticated classes. You used to imagine what it'd be like to go here.

Back there, next to the wall, was still this old, grimy tree. You visited once again here, one day and this tree, as big as it was, its crown one day just bent over the wall's edges. It was once joked about that it did not grow up but grew shy and is now hiding from the students.

Other students also used it as an 'escape route' and climb over the wall to skip class.

Tenderly you touched it. Your balloon was high enough to hit the extended, naked branches but you barely noticed, as the moist of the wood stuck on your fingers. Your shoulders went up to your ears and your face grimaced but you kept on gliding your hand on the coarse surface until a finger felt a bump. Croutching down, you held up the hems of your outfit to not get in contact with the grime and ever so carefully shifted to the side and pressing yourself against the wall. Your eyes went up and down the side of the tree trunk and the words etched into there by a stolen pocket knife.

'I am thiiiis taller!'

Two stripes were cut in with one a bit higher than the other with the mockery written on there. Looking farther up, there it was as you expected.

'I am taller than the both of you!'

You couldn't help smiling to yourself at the third stripe towering over the other two. The strongest mocked the least.

The tree had grown its branches. Their leaves all on the other side, you wondered if the crown could already graze the street. Wondering if it was hiding its beauty for it looked naked from within the walls.

Getting up you made your way to the swing as you used to. No more, however, did you let your bottom fall onto the seat but carefully sat down as to test out the waters. Your clothes are probably dirty by now. The swing held on quite well however, and so you felt free enough to carelessly rock about. It's squeaking was ear-piercing, which was new, but you kept on swinging anyway.

To your right, your gaze trailed up the blue rail.

'Girls are stupid'

The scribble of an angry face was the cherry on top.

Your face scrunched up with a glare, eyes narrow and misty despite the flash of anger you felt. Your hand gripped on the rope fiercly, but quickly let it go to wipe your stray tears. Facade broken, you lowered your head down to your lap and hissed at the accidental pressure you put on your stitched thumb.

"You're stupid, Carlo..." You sobbed into your lap.

How he stuck out his tongue at you while spinning with his toy sword. Taunting you for having been short even when you surpassed him just a year later. Romeo would put him in his place, reminding him how lucky he was that he even had a cousin, only for him to turn his mockery from your height to your gender. Now you knew how petty and infantile it all was, but it hurt nevertheless. He had that sad look in his eye when Uncle would bring you to him during the holidays and leave you two alone on the same day. You warned him over climbing the wall to skip class, how he'll be in trouble and Uncle will be mad. He called you a coward and Romeo urged you to come along. Carlo used to be so nice to you, played with you with the toys Uncle used to whittle, pretended to be great whales in the ocean when Krat was filled with rain puddles, would push you on the swing high enough to be taller than any wall or tree while your laughter rung but over the years he'd gotten sadder and angrier, all at you - until you stopped visiting when you grew older, busy with your graduation and he with his.

'Well, maybe things aren't as bad as they seem.'

You still wonder if he even read your letter to him instead of throwing it away.

"You're a stupid, stupid, liar..."

#yandere lies of p #Lies of p #lies of p x reader #lies of p pinocchio #yandere pinocchio #Pinocchio #Lies of p pinocchio x reader #Pinocchio x reader #P x reader #Yandere #my writing #my fanfiction #ticking springs

[gamerbearmira]

Papatonio: Prologue

I AIN'T FORGET ABOUT Y'ALL PAPATONIO FANS <3333

I was re reading some snippets, and had reread some Papatonio ones. And I got inspired. So.

This goes out to the ones who have been here since Paptonio. I know I've neglected it, and after finding the old doc for it, I decided to finish the prologue and give y'all a little drawing as well <33 We going back to our roots

PAPATONIO FANS COME IN HERE AND COME GET Y'ALL JUICE❗❗❗

----------

Antonio wasn’t stupid. In fact, he was quite smart. He noticed things, things other people didn’t notice.

Like how even after helping her, Isabela still was mean to her and took credit for finding out about the new exotic plants. How his hermana Dolores would hear Mirabel crying herself to sleep but wouldn’t help, so he had to by bringing her some water. How hermano mayor stopped trying to make Mirabel laugh. How his prima Luisa stopped paying attention to his Mirabel more and more.

But he also noticed it in the adults. It seemed worse with the adults.

Like how Abuela would yell at his Mirabel for no good reason. How Julieta and Agustin would show her pity. How his mama and papa would push her aside when she tried to help or even talk.

Antonio didn’t like it. He and Casita would help her. He didn’t like it when Mirabel was sad. And it only got worse as he got older. The family slowly started to forget she was there. Mirabel would take her plate up to the nursery and eat while crying. Antonio would join her, when he could.

Antonio would hang out with Mirabel constantly. His other family members may have forgotten about her, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. She was too important to him. While he was out doing chores, which was usually guiding animals to help around town, he would always look for Mirabel in the square. He tried asking his other family, but they either ignored the question or just didn’t care enough to know her whereabouts.

“Mirabel?” Isabela scoffed. “How should I know? She tried too hard anyway, it’s good she’s out of the way. You should finish your chores while she’s gone.”

Antonio hated when they said things like that. He hated it when they hurt his Mirabel’s feelings.

Over the years, Antonio noticed something. Mirabel got quieter and quieter, only ever opening up to him. She would disappear for days at time, worrying the heck out of Antonio. She noticed that she would try to blend into the background.

He was 6, and she was 16, when he noticed that she had stopped trying to talk to her other family members. She only talked to Antonio and Casita. Not that it mattered; they hadn’t seen the difference. But Antonio did.

He was 7 and she was 17 when he noticed that Mirabel wasn’t coming to breakfast, lunch or dinner at all. The family didn’t realize it, because they were too caught up in playing happy family. But Antonio did.

He was 8 and she was 18 when he saw Mirabel visiting their Tio Bruno in the walls more often. Bruno never minded the company, and Mirabel finally had someone else to talk to. Eventually, when he could, Antonio would go with Mirabel. Every visit, Antonio and Mirabel would talk with Bruno and give him more food and water, keeping him company. The family was always paying attention to themselves, so they didn’t know. But Antonio did.

He was 9 and she was 19 when Antonio noticed that Mirabel wasn’t at Dolores and Mariano’s wedding. Everyone got an invitation, except Mirabel. He tried to get her to come, he really did, but she said it was best to stay away. So, despite being one of the groomsmen, he left early, just to stay with Mirabel. The family noticed Antonio was gone, and he told them he felt unwell. But they didn’t notice Mirabel was gone. But Antonio did.

He was 10 and she was 20, only a month away from turning 21. Antonio noticed something. Mirabel was gone. And not like before where she would disappear for a few hours and come back. This time, she left and didn’t come back. After 2 days, Antonio got worried. He sent animals far out to the forest to search for the girl.

He himself searches Casita and the town. He looked everywhere, leaving no stone unturned. He asked around the town, but everyone either didn’t know, or didn’t care. At one point he even asked his family. It was the same as the town. They didn’t know or care. Julieta and Agustin didn’t even seem half as worried as they should have been.

“Tia! H-have you seen Mirabel? I’ve been looking for days, and I can’t find her!” Antonio said, frantically explaining the situation.

Julieta glanced at him before turning back to her stand. “O-Oh Mirabel? You know her, she’ll be back. Just give it a while,” Julieta brushed him off, sending him on his way.

Antonio hated how his family reacted. They didn’t care for his Mirabel. Not like he did. He loved her with all of his heart, no matter how big or small it was. He would find her, if it was the last thing he did.

That’s what he thought. And he tried. But he never found her. 4 weeks went by, and he never found her. He didn’t stop looking though. Everyday, he would tell some animals to help around the villagers and take the rest to look for his Mirabel. And he never stopped. And yet…

He never found her.

—

Antonio walked into his room, animals who had been with him that day walking in. His eyes were puffy and his throat was sore, but he didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to care. Not after what happened.

For almost 2 months, Mirabel had been gone. And only he and Bruno had noticed. Bruno tried his best to help, and so did Antonio's animals, but it was all in vain. Mirabel was nowhere to be found.

And the family didn't care. Abuela sure didn't and none of the cools cared…expect maybe Luisa. She showed some sympathy and tried to help but she was always busy, and Antonio knew she needed her breaks when she had the chance. Dolores and Mariano were newlyweds, and Camilo wasn't much help. His parents may have tried, but they were focused on Dolores at the moment.

The boy sniffled, wiping away his tears. He slumped to the ground, tears falling despite his best efforts to stop them. He could hear his animals talking to him but…he couldn't comprehend what they were saying. He couldn't, because he had failed. Failed to protect Mirabel like he promised her. He wasn't there for her.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry Mira…" Antonio sobbed, gripping the grass below him. He sat there and cried, uncaring of his surroundings. He didn't care how pathetic he looked, he felt pathetic.

He sat there, animals surrounding him. Eventually, he heard his name being called. Over and over. It got louder and he looked up, seeing a constrictor talking to him. Something about his bed…hammock…baby…

Wait. Baby?

"What?" Antonio asked and the boa repeated what he had said. There was a baby. In his hammock. No way. That's impossible, there were no new babies in the family, and babies don't come out of thin air…right?

But then again. Magic was a reoccurring thing. So maybe…

"Show me," Antonio said and followed the boa to his tree. Climbing the steps, he could see something moving in his hammock. And it definitely wasn't an animal. Moving with more haste, he finally came up to his hammock. And peering over he saw it. A baby girl, wrapped in a teal blanket, sleeping. "What?"

Antonio moved toward, looking on in disbelief. So he hadn't been lying, there really was a baby. A baby girl? She looked familiar. Too familiar.

"Do any of you…know who this is?" Antonio asked. All of the animals replied negatively, except for two. Parce and Pico. The two who had been there since the day he got his gift. He watched Parce walk over and sniff the baby. His eyes widened for a moment. Pico watched carefully before turning to Antonio and chirping something. And Antonio froze at his statement.

"That's…her? Is it really?" Antonio asked, throat becoming dry and scratchy. Pico nodded and Parce confirmed. It was true.

This baby was Mirabel.

Antonio stood shocked before he finally seemed to blink away his trance. Carefully, he scooped up the little one, getting a better look at her. And he could see the resemblance. He had seen countless pictures of the family as babies; and as of late he had been looking at albums with Mirabel in them. And he recognized her; this was the same baby that had previously been seen in Julieta's arms in photos.

"It's really you…you're back," Antonio said quietly, crying. He held her closer. Still sound asleep, Mirabel had cuddled deeper into his arms. "I missed you so much…" Antonio said as he cried, slumping to the ground as he hugged her.

"I won't fail you this time. I'll always protect you and be there for you," Antonio promised.

------

Antonio starts freaking out 5 minutes later cause. It’s a newborn baby and. He’s always been the youngest and has never cared for babies. ANYWAY

DID YOU GUYS LIKE IT...I hope you did <333

Hopefully you can't tell where the writing style slightly changes. Half of this was written in like April and the rest in November. BUT THE DRAWING IS RECENT❗❗

Hopefully y'all liked this, this is for you loyal ones, I really appreciate y'all <33

Might do asks later 🥱

#my asks are open #my asks #encanto #encanto au #au #encanto mirabel #encanto antonio #papa antonio au #papatonio au #papatonio

[confessions-official]

I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF LIVING WITH MY MOM!!!! I'm in university and I work from home 3-5 out of 5 days of the week (i'm called to the office pretty randomly) for 6 hours, 8 hours when I have days off from school. obviously I can't afford to move out otherwise I already would have. today i broke down crying. i struggle with time management so bad bc i'm always exhausted, i have hashimoto's disease and i can totally be functional but i have little energy and if i don't manage it well i can end up virtually useless by a certain time of the day. last year i pretty much neglected my health entirely while working and studying: i wasn't sleeping or eating well, i was sedentary, etc. the last few weeks i've been finally FINALLY getting into a routine of excersising at home that works for me. today I put time aside during my lunch break to do a short but intense cardio workout I promised myself I would try to do at least once a week to see my endurance level. My mom calls me as I'm just starting out to tell me she "forgot" she ordered a package and it should be home in 10 minutes. I almost broke down fucking crying. I had to cut everything short and shower to be ready when the package got here. Of fucking course it was delayed so I wasted my break waiting for her package. I can't take it anymore, she always does this and I always tell her i have ZERO ISSUE if she wants me to recieve a package she orders, but to PLEASE check in on me so I can schedule my day around that, or so I can let her know if I'm not available. I have no problem waiting for a package or the plumber or whoever if I'm home but I need to KNOW. she always tells me 10 minutes before "oh btw i called a painter for the kitchen" or "i called a plumber for the bathroom". there was one time when i was SO exhausted after finishing an assignment from school, i had literally not slept for days and I had taken a vacation day from work so when i got home from class i could nap (i was at the level of exhaustion where i knew even if i napped i'd be tired enough to sleep well at night). as im finishing some chores and laying down on the couch she calls me like "oh btw i know i said the painters weren't coming today but i told them yes they can. they're on their way". She NEVER checks to see if i'm available and NEVER checks in on what's going on with me in work and school and basically assumes i'm just in the house all day doing nothing. i can't even go out for a walk or to get coffee during my break bc if i miss something she gets pissed at me and says i'm unreliable. i decided i'm moving out with a friend by the end of the year even if it's a one room apartment, because she won't change. she's grown and she has clearly communicated she does not give a shit about my time (we have discussed this multiple times and she's like yea yea okay i'll let you know and she doesn't change). i don't know how the fuck i'm going to move my desktop computer to wherever the fuck i move to (i don't have a laptop, cannot afford one if i want to move out soon, and i 100% need a computer for work and school) but i don't care. i'll figure something out.

 

#confession

[nightcall99]

Automatic writing from 13.3.24

Can you explain why I had a good day today? I was playing the game and I was happy. I don't understand in what way I am supposed to pull away from this game

You stopped fighting. You knew where your limits lie. Your gut tells you where the line is and when not to step over. And today you listened.

So that's it? It took one day? You telling me I'm so good at integrating energy that it takes place overnight now? Am I missing something here?

[I overhear my mother on the phone "It's 10:15pm here, so it's 6:15pm in Vietnam right now...the (my uncle's) jewellery shop must be closed] Yes. We're done, so things being a struggle is just an appearance. It is that fast because it's already done.

What is the point of this. Why does it have to come up at all, if it is already done? Why do we still play this cause and effect game that has zero impact?

The game is finished. We pick things up, we put things down. We throw it at the wall and see what sticks. This did not stick, it slid.

Like a turd down a toilet. So now what? What are you going to choose next? And how do I reconcile all these change-of-minds...

Are you disappointed to realise that you are God? To know that this is is what I do? I can do as I please. What are you but a painting I am painting. You are just colours that I blended. You are what I lay down on the canvas. You are the hem of a dress I shift this way, then back again. The eye I scrub out and start again. The light and the shadow. I brush a stroke, lift the brush, dip it in water. Clean it. Get back to work. What do you want? What do you want?

Nothing I guess. I've known for a long time that there is nothing to hold onto anymore. Perhaps this is just more in that process of letting go completely. If I create my reality, it means I hold all the colours simultaneously and I am coming to terms with this sense of infinity. You didn’t answer my question before, what is going on with the energy now then?

Nothing much. A few dogs in the house wandering around, like loose thoughts being herded up before allowing oneself to rest. The same ideas as before, nothing new. You neglected the dog's water bowl, and you solved the issue instantly. There is a new turd in the hallway, what of it? Clean it up before you go to bed. Why not? Just a few chores.

So we're in a limbo right now? Essentially nothing is happening and we are stalling for nothing. This is my last question because I think this is ridiculous.

What? So what? I am god. I can stand back and look at the picture, can't I? Observe what I have done. Relax. You are nothing.

[lil-spider]

So Damn Pretty

Chapter 7

Part 6 : Part 8 :

Pairing: Johnny Slaughter X Female Reader

Summary: Johnny is sex starved and you’re very attractive, so attractive that he doesn’t want to kill you. Instead he finds ways to keep you around longer.

Note: Stockholm syndrome is in full play now and pls don’t hate me lol.

Warning: This is 18+ and please do not read if your sensitive to heavy descriptions of non/con and violence. Including bondage, blood, gore, assault, cheating, objectification and unsafe sex. For those who don’t mind, I hope you enjoy.

Many days have passed—about three and a half weeks since Johnny last touched me—and it has been driving me crazy.

We’ve been getting closer, taking nightly walks through the beautiful sunflower field. It became my favourite part of the day. After dinner, he and I would sneak off outside, talking to me about his interests or whatever he did for the day, and I would tell him mine. We chew on sunflower seeds and sit in a run-down car, watching the sunset fade into the night. We’re steadily learning more about each other; on rare occasions, he opens up to me, and during such times, I see him as a broken young man rather than a monster.

But now our walks have ceased, as has the sex. He’s been neglecting me, making me miss his cock and touch. I so desperately want to fuck him. We were having sex almost every day since I arrived, and now, nearly a month of no action has taken a toll on me. I've become increasingly frustrated and exhausted. 

It doesn't help that Nubbins has been pointing out that I look fatter around the stomach and chest, making crude remarks about how full my breasts appear, until Sissy smacks him on the back of the head for his rudeness. He just immaturely blows raspberries at her.

Nubbin's is right. I've noticed that I've gained some weight and that I've become considerably hungrier. Which has me concerned. At dinnertime, I've started eating more, going for seconds unintentionally, impressing everyone at dinner.

Johnny’s ban on leaving the house by himself has been lifted since I arrived; according to Sissy, he has been using his new freedom to drive up town to local bars. I know more meat has been stocked up after his nights out; I only see him bring back supplies or cigarettes; no bodies, thankfully. Most days, I know that he helps Drayton at the gas station. I overheard them one time talking about me working there with one of them. It honestly sounds refreshing to have some new scenery, even if I have to work.

My chores around the house are becoming more routine. Sissy and I spend all of our time together; she's come up with fun things to do, either playing some card games or listening to music on her record player. She’s been great, like a sister I’ve always wanted. We’ve been getting closer as Johnny’s been busy. I even spent time with Bubba outside in the gardens, planting some new flowers as he brought over the heavy soil, with Sissy teaching him. He is like a puppy, exploring his surroundings. I've actually started enjoying myself here, almost forgetting about my old life.

I'm currently lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. It’s peaceful in the early morning. Drayton, whom I've picked up the habit of calling Mr. Sawyer, drove off to the gas station a few minutes ago, waking me up with his grumbling downstairs as he left the house.

I have come to be attuned to the footsteps of everyone. Johnny is very heavy-footed, while Sissy and Nubbins are very quiet. Drayton scatters around while Bubba thunders up the stairs with no care. It helps me figure out what is happening around me.

I’m no longer locked in my room. Being here so long, working, and not bothering to escape has rewarded me with trust, and honestly, I'm not sure if it's even worth trying to leave. I've just adapted to my new environment so well that I don't see a point in leaving. especially since I don't want to disappoint Johnny either.

I’ll do anything to have him inside me again. The more I think about his thick cock,large muscles, and handsome face, the throbbing below increases. I move my hand down, sliding it under my panties, gently placing a finger in my engorged clit, rubbing it in small circles.

I breathlessly moan and pinch my left nipple while imagining Johnny. His cock stood tall as he stroked his hardness, sitting on his bed, waiting for me. I want to lick his throbbing tip and hear his groans. I picture myself sucking him off, taking his whole cock to the back of my throat. I go to climb on top of him, letting his fat cock slide inside me as I start riding him. My hands are on his chest as I bounce. The more I imagine, the faster I rub my clit. I squeeze my thighs together as my orgasm comes quickly. I pull my hand back while sighing in disappointment; it’s not as good. But it does the job.

Feeling a little relieved, I roll over and prepare to get some more sleep until I hear another truck drive up. It’s Johnny's. I lay there, listening to him slam his truck door and loudly enter the house. Like always, he chucks his keys on the kitchen table, but instead of going to his shed, I hear his footsteps go downstairs to the basement.

The familiar sound of the basement door opening and closing spikes my curiosity. He rarely goes to the basement, only if he needs to help Bubba, but it's too early for Bubba to be awake, so I'm desperate to know what he's up to.

I contemplate going, fear of consequences rousing, but my yearning for Johnny runs deeper. I get up off the bed and pull a short black, long-sleeved maxi dress over myself.

Choosing to go barefoot, I carefully open the bedroom door, not to awaken anyone, and cautiously descend the stairs, making my way to the basement. I glide past the red wall displayed with an arrangement of animal skulls. Arriving in front of the basement door, I gently slide it across the opening, leaving just a big enough gap for me to slide in. Leaving it open, I glance around the hellish pit of the household. A red hue cascades over the lair. Its pungent odour, with which I had found it vile, is now somewhat familiar.

I pick up his voice coming from one of the rooms they keep the victims in. I should turn back; it’s not my business, and I could get in trouble for putting my nose where it doesn't belong. Creeping forward, I forget my worries as I develop an itching sensation that can only be relived by finding out what Johnny is doing. Tip-toeing over to the door like a little mouse, I squat near the door and peek through the gaps. The sight before me made me realise I should have never left the bed.

A woman with long, shiny black hair who has her wrists tied behind her back with a zip-tie is crying out while voluntarily riding Johnny’s cock. My fingers dove tightly into my hands as I witnessed Johnny fuck another woman. He grips her shapely hips against him. Thrusting up into her as he lays back on an old, dirty mattress

The unknown woman throws her head back while increasing her moans. Johnny continues his restless pounding. I watch his thick cock slathered in their juices go up and down inside her. Her large chest was bouncing along. She’s moaning Johnny’s name with a sultry voice as she leans over him, pushing her chest into his face.

Mixed emotions take over: arousal, jealousy, and insecurity. I feel so hurt and betrayed, and yet I can’t look away. I’m finally seeing Johnny after so long. I squeeze my thighs together, rubbing them for relief as he moves his right hand off her hip, going between her legs and rubbing her clitoris. Uncontrollable tears leak from my eyes as I cover my mouth, muffling my whimpers.

They change positions; he sits up and pushes her down, sucking on her hard nipples while fucking her into the mattress violently. I’m unable to do anything. I want to snap her fucking neck off. My pussy throbs while embarrassingly soaking my underwear. I just want to shove her away and get fucked by him instead. She’s now obnoxiously yelling about how she's about to cum, and now I want to leave. I can’t watch this anymore. I don’t want to see Johnny finish with her.

I sneak back up the stairs, closing the metal door gently behind me, and rush back upstairs to my room. I go under the sheet and lay on the bed. My clit throbs, but I’m so jealous that I just want to curl up. I start to cry from all these overwhelming emotions, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. I hug my pillow, biting into it out of utter frustration.

I take deep breaths, trying to calm down. Salty tears and snot drip from my face as I cry into my pillow. We were never together, but it still feels like I was betrayed. I worked so hard to fit in here like he wanted, and he fucks another woman! Is she the first? How many girls has he gone through? Is he going to replace me now? The idea of being replaced makes my chest tighten, and more tears spill out as I become more upset.

Wiping my face with the sleeve of my dress, I decide to go to one person who can give me some answers. To understand what’s going to happen to me. Getting up, I leave my room and go over to Sissy’s. I knock lightly on her door and wait for her while continuing to wipe my tears. 

She opens up with a bright smile, but it falters as she sees my red nose and weeping face. Sissy wraps her thin arms around me, enveloping me. I return the much-needed hugs as she brings me into her room.

“Oh sug', what’s got ya’ all blue?” She pulls me along to sit on her bed as she grabs a tissue, wiping my face.

 

I try to control my words, but I just stutter out what I witnessed in the basement with Johnny. I mention to her, in vague terms, what I saw. "I knew it wasn’t my business, but I got curious as he’s been so busy, but I didn’t expect that!” I exclaimed. 

Sissy nods her head in understanding, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I sniffle. She holds my hands, squeezing them in reassurance. She tells me about how he’s always brought girls home. Goes out to bars and brings them back for the household.

“Ya’ have been the only one that he hasn’t killed; ya’ family, now he ain’t going to replace ya’ pumpkin.” As much as her words comfort you, your feelings don’t go away.

“It’s just.. he’s threatened it about to me before.” I say tearfully as she gets up off the bed and pulls you up with her.

“Don’t ya’ worry, Y/N; he likes ya’ trust me.” She smiles and hugs me again. After our little talk, Sissy and I started our morning chores early. It’s a good distraction, but awful scenarios keep replaying in the back of my mind, and it’s absolutely frustrating.

I hear Johnny coming up from the basement while I'm doing the dishes. I approach him to have a conversation, but he simply takes his keys and walks out the front door, shutting it behind him. His vehicle starts up, and he speeds away from the property. He did not even look at me. The distance between us stings. How cruel, having me live here and putting me through misery simply to neglect me for another woman. I storm into the backyard and start crying uncontrollably, telling Sissy what happened and she tries to console me. She just strokes my head as I cry my emotions into her shoulder.

After my little episode, I spent the majority of my day outside pruning the flowers. Sissy made me some lemonade and went off somewhere; she doesn’t need to babysit me all day anymore, so I spend most of my time outside gardening. It relaxes me. I finish trimming and gather an assortment of flowers for inside to liven up the place.

I returned inside after putting away the gardening equipment. It’s the afternoon, and supper is almost ready. I chose to use an old, empty glass vase I found outdoors in the tool shed to hold the flowers. I go to the kitchen to fill the vase, but just as I'm almost done, I'm startled to see Johnny, still as handsome as ever, grab my shoulder.

"Need ya’ to come with me." He says this, turning away and making his way towards the basement.

#johnny slaughter #texas chainsaw game #texas chainsaw massacre #the texas chainsaw massacre #johnny slaughter art #johnny slaughter x reader #johnny slaughter fanfic #tcm fanfic #fanfic #texas chainsaw massacre fanfiction #fanfiction

[beantothemax]

Chopping this one in half for dramatic effect :3

Maybe she would happier if she was more selfish. She certainly wouldn't be here, working till her hands had blisters. But that was no issue, just cover them with medicine and gloves and get back to work. If she applied enough, they would not ache.

A disease had broken out in the Winterlands, and it was Castti's job to take care of it. Everyday she treated the townspeople and when she was done, she would venture through blizzards to the next town over. Today was just a bit different.

Several kilometers from Cape Cold was a single family. They needed help just as much as the townspeople, and Castti was more than happy to provide it. She gave each member medicine and in a few short hours, their temperatures had fallen to a safe range and their words were coherent.

"You should stay tonight, that blizzard is brutal," the mother suggested.

"I'll be fine, I've been through worse," Castti said.

The mother insisted they had room and food for her, but Castti wished not to be a burden and left quickly.

Her bag seemed to become heavier with each step. Carrying the stone morter and pestle was suddenly a difficult chore. And each book and tool had become at least ten times heavier.

The snow poured down like a shower. Wind whipped her face as she walked against it. But it was fine, she was dressed for the weather.

As she wandered through the storm, her mind drifted to thoughts of home, where it was warm and comfortable. Partitio was waiting there...

She hadn't said goodbye when she left. He was still asleep. If she had left during the day, he would have tried to stop her and she would rather avoid the argument.

Perhaps she was too cruel. With a simple conversation, it surely wouldn't have been difficult to explain why she needed to help.

Cape Cold had come into view. It was only some hundred meters away. As Castti smiled at the sight of the town, she forgot to pay attention to where she stepped. A loud crack came from beneath her foot.

Of course. The townspeople had told her to be cautious near the frozen lake. When she took another step, dozens of cracks followed. The ice gave way. Her senses left her as everything turned to nothing.

Perhaps she should've said goodbye.

pie you can’t fucjing leave me on a cliffhanger like that WHAT HUH!!!!!!! WHATT!!!;!;!;!;$;$$;$;$;$;$

‘PERHAPS SHE SHOULD’VE SAID GOODBYE’ DONT SAY THAT!!!!!!!!! DONT PHRASE IT LIKE SHE’S NOT GOING TO SEE PARTITIO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

CASTTI WORKING SO SO HARD FOR OTHERS THAT SHE NEGLECTS HER OWN WELL-BEING……. CHARACTERS WHO TRY SO HARD TO HELP OTHERS THAT THEY NEGLECT THEMSELVES….. AAAGAGAGHAHHDHDBDHD

#asks #pie-knight #inbox fic

[writingmysanity]

Born to love you

Prompt: March daily prompt + requested prompt

Day: 5 (Yes I know I am late, sue me) + "I love you, and I know you don't think so, but you deserve to be loved."

Word count: 2720

Pairing: Jaskier x Fem!reader

Requested by @dancingwith-sunflowers Here you go lovely, I am sorry about the wait. I hope you enjoy it.

A/N: as per usual, unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own. Is anyone willing to let me blame them for my mistakes so I don't have to take rap myself?? Other requests are coming as quick as I am able.

The song is "born to love you" by Lanco I do not own it in any way.

Sighing wistfully, you look out over the field below, rows and rows of sunflowers reaching as far as you can see- brilliant petals echoing the warmth of the sun, heads waving in the midmorning breeze. You've made a game of it, trying to listen for the sounds made between the stalks, guess which animal has gotten lost in its maze, once more.

Two birds- a bluebird and a bright red cardinal swoop in first, their songs being carried away with the breeze. Smiling, you watch them dance in the air before they disappear beyond the keep of the trees and the branches they call home.

A deer, you realize, seeing the doe glance around before sliding between the stalks with a grace you only could dream of having. Behind her, much to your excitement are two shadows, toddling along after her. One stops before they're all the way hidden by the stalks to munch on a patch of grass. Its mother huffs at it, urging it to hurry. The cover is their best defense. Suddenly, filled with mirth, it bucks around, bouncing into the stalks calling loudly, playfully, earning a laugh from you.

Sighing again, you stand. You've been out here much too long, neglecting your chores. Humming contently, you start to hop down the side of the hill, lifting your skirts slightly as to not trip on them on your way down.

“Ooh, ankles. Scandalous. Tell me, love, when did you become so risque?” the teasing tone comes from behind you. Spinning on your heels, you nearly fall backward, squeaking when two arms grab you first, securing you against their chest. You can feel the way his laughter rumbles in his chest as he cradles you. Looking up, you meet those familiar brilliant eyes that remind you of the clear blue waters of that beach your father took you to as a young girl.

“Jaskier,” you gasp, swatting his chest. This only made him laugh harder, clinging to you, his head falling to your shoulder, eyes filled with the same mirth you saw in the fawn not long ago.

“You startled me!” you chastise as you move to hug him back, your breath evening back to normal, burying your face in his chest. Humming in amusement, he runs his nose along your shoulder fondly, grinning at how the gentle touch makes you shiver.

“Ah, I am sorry, dear heart. I'll try to not scare you like that ever again,” he promises, making you snort. Of course, he will. It's one of the few things in life he holds dearest. So he's told you, anyway.

Pulling away, he smiles down at you, hands moving up your arms to come and cup your cheeks before he leans forward to nuzzle his nose to yours, eyes drooping in bliss. Giggling, you tug him closer.

“Kiss me, you fool,” you tease, fingers wrapping in his doublet. Another laugh bubbles to his lips as he closes the gap, the feeling of his laughter on your lips tickling you, making you smile into the kiss.

“Ah, how I've missed you,” he sings, pulling away.

“My face?” you tease. It's no secret that Jaskier had a fondness for pretty faces. He frowns a bit, shaking it off, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

“Indeed, your face, your smile, your pure as sunshine-” you laugh, swatting him gently.

“I get it, I get it. You missed me” he softens.

“I have, indeed, my sunflower.” wrapping his arms around you again, he gives you a final squeeze before pulling back to offer you the crook of his elbow to hold. Gleefully, you take it, only just now noticing his packs and his lute.

“Come to stay, have you?” he pauses in grabbing them.

“Only if you'll have me.”

Softening at the bard, you bend to help him grab the bags, ignoring his protests. You are aware he can carry them all, but you don't care. His protests die quickly as you haul them over your shoulder.

“Why?” he all but whines, hand resting on the crook of your elbow as to help you down the steeper part of the hill without stumbling.

“Jaskier, in all your life you have carried your things alone. Here, with me, you are never alone in carrying anything,” you state, nodding, ignoring his stare as you skip over a rock. He swallows, trying to not read too much into the simple statement. Had it been him, it would have been a declaration of love. With you, he wasn't so sure.

Later that night, after getting Jaskier settled and the chores done, which he insisted on helping with, you find yourself resting together before the fire, shoulders bumping against each other lightly as you joke as if no time had passed.

“Have I told you of the time Geralt took on the Griffin?” he questions, waggling his eyebrows playfully. Shoving his shoulder with yours, playfully, you laugh.

“Yes, Jask. Many times.” the look on your face, he swears he sees it. The way you look at him, but you turn away, gazing into the fire.

“We should head to bed soon,” you whisper after a minute. You feel his stare but refuse to face it. You're afraid of what you'll see there. What you always see there, but refuse to acknowledge is for you. He just nods.

“Of course, it is getting late,” he whispers, glancing out the window. The blackness seems denser now that he's huddled against you, with the fire. “If you'll remind me where you keep your blankets and a pillow, ill go about making my place” he beams, patting the ground beside him. You frown.

“Jaskier,” you sigh. “You are more than welcome to share my bed. It will be cold tonight.” spring is here, but the last of the nightly chills have yet to fade. He hesitates before nodding, watching you stand slowly, wincing at the small pops of your discontented joints at the movement.

“I don't want to take advantage of your hospitality,” he whispers, standing quicker than you remember him being able to move, his hand resting on your elbow to keep you from stumbling backward, a warm smile crossing his features. “You’ve already done so much for me.”

He is standing much closer than your heart can take for the moment, swallowing as you take a step back, having to let your head hang back to look at his face.

“Keeping score, are we?” you try to joke, ignoring how your skin burns where he's touched. He laughs softly, unwilling to break the atmosphere.

“Only because I am so far back on the tally, dear heart.” he hums, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, your eyes fluttering closed, embracing the warmth that radiates from it.

“I won't argue your point,” you muse, an easy smile passing your features as he leads you back to your tiny room in the back of your home. It's not much, but it's always been more than enough for you. But, seeing Jaskier peeling the blankets on your bed back before crawling in to make himself comfortable you realize that it had always been missing one thing.

Something.

Or someone.

Looking up at you with a gentleness you’ve only seen when he's sure you're not looking, he opens the blankets for you, his other hand extending as an invitation.

“Coming?” his smile is infectious.

“Yeah.” you hum, crawling in after him, curling into his frame, you tangle your legs with his to get more comfortable. You rest your head on his neck, taking the opportunity to breathe him in, his scent has always been slightly intoxicating all on its own. Jasmine, camomile and something you have only been able to attribute to his life on the road, even though you're unable to pinpoint the source. He shivers at how your breath fans over the skin there, sighing contently, arms wrapping around you.

“Sleep well,” he whispers into your hair, cuddling closer his breathing slowing as he falls asleep almost instantly.

Despite the warmth, and hearing his heartbeat next to your ear once more, you can't sleep. You can't quite toss and turn with how his limbs restrain you, but you're not uncomfortable. You're eyes just refuse to close.

After an hour or so, you gently wiggle yourself from his hold, sliding out of the room as quietly as possible. Once in the living area, you take a deep breath, moving to poke the fire, breathing life back into the flames. For a while, you just watch them, as they dance.

If you watched close enough, you could see the flames take shape, like two figures dancing in the light.

You're unsure how long you sat there, staring into the fire. Maybe it enraptured your heavy eyes so well because you were picturing Jaskier in those flames, spinning you with all the warmth and passion of the fire. Or you were just too tired to notice much of anything else. Either or, you didn't hear the footsteps behind you until they were accompanied by his voice.

“Love?” his voice is deeper than usual, thick with sleep. Jumping in surprise, you turn to face him, biting back the small gasp. His hair is awry, sticking every which way, much different than the well-manicured look you're used to. Rubbing his eyes sleepily, he blinks down at you.

“Why aren't you in bed?”

“Couldn't sleep,” you confess, shifting over for him to plop down next to you.

“Why didn't you wake me?” he frowns, nuzzling his nose into your cheek. You force yourself to not pull away. You relish in the contact but you cant help the wave of nausea at the thought of all of the other women he's been like this with. He sees it on your face, his frown deepening.

“Sunshine?” you shake your head, looking back towards the fire.

When in doubt- ignore it. Ignore the feelings. Ignore the pain.

“What's wrong?” he shifts, moving to kneel in front of you, fingers lifting your chin to make you look at him.

“Nothing,” you curse the thickness of your voice, the way it cracks at the end, tears gathering at the corners. Blinking them away, you take your chin from his grasp, taking a shaky breath. “Nothing at all.”

“It’s not nothing, my love.” he sits back on his heels, hands limp in his lap as he looks down at you, concern etched into his very frame. “Is it something I did? Something I didn't do? Please, let me fix this.” his voice is little more than a whisper as he lowers down to your level once more, eyes begging. Those bright blue eyes have brought you more comfort than anything else in your life, and you're the reason they're watering.

“Jask-” he shakes his head quickly, hands coming up to cradle your face.

“No minimizing it, sunshine. The real reason.” you can hear his heart break, seeing you like this. It didn't make any sense. You meant nothing more to him than every other woman who he helped keep warm at night. “What IS it? I can't fix what I don't know, my love.”

Closing your eyes, you choke back a sob.

“Why do you call me that, Jaskier?”

“Sunshine?” he asks confused, tilting his head, hands tightening just slightly so you cant pull away from his hold again.

“My love,” you answer, keeping your eyes closed so that you don't have to look at him.

“Because I love you,” he states it as if it's the most well-known fact known to man as if it's the most common of knowledge. Your laugh is quiet, half a sob, broken and wet.

“You love everyone, Jaskier.”

“This is different,” he insists. “Please, look at me.” slowly, you wretch your eyes open, watching as the tears that had been gathering in those beautiful eyes finally fall. His face is illuminated by the firelight, the tears making his eyes look like crystals. His voice is strained as he continues, wet as he licks his lips nervously.

“What is this about?”

“How many other women have you told that you love them?” you wanted your voice to be strong, clear- but it wasn't. He could hear the pain, the way your voice cracked on the word you struggled with the most.

Love

“None,” he swears. “Every other woman I've ever been with, I won't lie, it’s not a small number” you chuckle weakly, you knew this of course. You aren't mad about the number. “But I've never been in love with any of them”

His voice is small, weak, begging you to hear him, understand.

“Lust, infatuation, loneliness… but never love. I love you,” he declares leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours, eyes boring into yours for a moment before sliding closed, taking a deep breath to steady himself.

“You,” he whispers, so close you can feel the heat of his breath, tears sliding down his nose, landing on your cheek and lips. “You have my heart, please, I need you to believe that.”

“Why me?” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“Do you want the list?” he hums, lips brushing over the corner of yours. “Or the song?” he muses, the idea of him having both amusing you.

“Both,” he laughs this time, his frame shaking as he holds you still.

“The song I can do at the moment, the list... It's gotten rather long. I have it written down. Can it wait until the morning?”

You nod, taking a deep breath, nuzzling your nose against his, the smell of salt lingering in the scent you love so much.

“I'll hold you to that.” he nods.

“The song isn't done, of course. You're a difficult muse.” he teases, leaning back again, readjusting. Snorting, you lean against the chair, watching him lovingly. He doesn't move to get his lute or his notebooks where he's known for having written everything.

This song isn't for the populous, for nobles, or anything in between. It is for you, and you've pushed him out of his comfort zone since day one. So he figured he'd try one more time, the tune reverberating from his chest as he hums the first several notes.

Born again in a church where the steeple's white

The preacher preach the Book of John and my momma cried

Meanin' of life was in verse 2

Didn't make sense 'til I found you

I could search the world from south to north

But I've already found what I'm lookin' for

Wherever I go and whatever I do

I was born to love you, I was born to love you

Lookin' in your eyes, yeah it's all so clear

Every time you smile, I know why I'm here

Wherever I go and whatever I do

I was born to love you, I was born to love you

I was a wild child between lost and found

Then you spoke my name, it was a sweet sound

Rescue kiss and you pulled me in

All my life baby, where you been

As the last note fades into the night, he opens his eyes, watching you for your reaction. You're sitting there, staring at him, face soft but unreadable before your lip wobbles, reaching for him. He all but lurches forwards, pulling you into his lap, happily folding as you pull him into a kiss, sighing against your lips.

“Good?” he whispers, nipping your bottom lip nose bumping against yours accidentally. Laughing softly, you nod.

“Good.” he smiles, lips trailing along your cheek and down your jaw. “You mean that?” he nods, lips sliding across the sensitive skin below your ear, nipping there.

“I've been rotten, dear heart, at showing you just how much you mean to me. But I swear on my lute,” he muses a bit knowing it would amuse you at the same time marking the seriousness of his words. “I love you. With every bit of myself, I love you. No matter if you think so, you deserve everything, all of the love and affection. And I will spend the rest of my life working to give it to you.”

He pauses, swallowing, nuzzling your neck.

“If you'll have me.” taking a deep breath, you smile, tugging on his shirt gently.

“Kiss me you fool”

--

Tag list: @errruvande @thesleepy1 @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @queenxxxsupreme @screechingdreamercollectorsblog @open--till--midnight @one-eyed-captain-kinky

@seidenbros

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please send me a message or ask or something.

#jaskier fanfiction #the witcher #jaskier #jaskier x reader #the witcher imagine #jaskier imagine #jaskier the bard #jaskier x y/n #spring #sunflowers #love #witcher jaskier #jaskier x you #jaskier x oc

[thisdreamplace]

So, I'm the anon who sent that long ask about the void. And your answer made me realise a lot of things. So I decided to find out what my inner, core beliefs are and what my belief system is like. I realised I hadn't at all been acknowledging my old story and I couldn't change it or let go of it without finding out what it was.

So I talked to myself, and I wrote it all down, and it was. Depressing. I didn't realise how many deep-rooted, awful beliefs I had about myself and my life. Obviously those were the things that would keep on playing out regardless of whether or not I forced myself to not acknowledge it. Because those were the things that I actually, really believed deep down inside.

I've realised that two of my biggest problems are lack of self worth and anxiety. And I can kind of see where they came from. Not fully, I still need to do that work and unpack that so I can start to understand it, but kind of. My problem now is that these two problems are very deep-rooted and I am not sure at all that I'll be able to effectively fix those problems and heal myself. These sound like problems you'll need long, intensive therapy to fix. And I got really overwhelmed and upset thinking about that, so I started to wonder, can I manifest confidence, getting rid of my anxiety, and better mental health? All things are possible, right? So I should be able to do that. I've seen a few success stories about people manifesting better mental health for themselves, and I want to do that too.

But I don't want to fall into the trap of lying to myself all over again. I know that I need to change my beliefs but I have no idea where to begin.

Any advice? How can I manifest better mental health without making the same mistake again?

hello <3 i’m glad to hear back from you !

hmmmm to be real with you, when something was deep and painly engraved, i had to work through it. while knowing that this wasn’t my end, it wasn’t my story. just something i had to feel out as it released. so i guess that’s my only advice to you.

don’t neglect yourself because of your manifestation — as in, all because you’ve manifested better mental health, it does not mean that you cannot feel low or cry or whatever else you may perceive negatively. do not deny yourself the journey and process, because that isn’t helpful. you think you’re doing the right thing bc “well if i have better mental health then im happy and thats final !” or smth like that. but no ! not at all. it’s really about honoring yourself in every moment and being your #1 supporter. so i think this is the way you can keep yourself from falling back into trying to force a belief that simply isn’t working — don’t judge yourself. decide on your desire and know that nothing you experience along the way is hindering you.

also, don’t label yourself so terribly. could therapy help ? absolutely. and it’s a wonderful option for many, but it’s not always affordable and accessible. don’t look at what’s within you as a terrible hurdle to overcome — take it day by day. it was never stopping you, you stopped you. and this releasing process allows you that freedom that you couldn’t see was always available to you through the darkness that lingered. so breathe. this isn’t about fixing yourself — it’s really about accepting and loving yourself unconditionally more. and you realize your limitations were only limits because you saw them that way and now you get to change the narrative. that’s all it is. don’t let yourself see this as a chore. full honesty (even when it’s ugly) with yourself is the way.

also here’s this post again bc it really gives you the process from start to finish. do you need to follow this perfectly ? absolutely not. you have to be willing to play around and find your own way that really speaks to you. but this is a great outline to begin with.

i hope this helps. i wish you all the best 💓

#allowing

[mashiraostail]

I've been having a lot more depressive episodes lately.(dw, im getting help) But, can i have Nemuri and Aizawa comforting a s/o who just had a depressive episode? You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable with the topic, but if you do thank you so much

Thanks for the request! I can do this for sure and I hope it helps! As someone who is also depressed I put some lil tidbits from my own struggles in here (specifically the gargantuous amount of energy turning the shower knob can take me and how that simple action has literally stopped me showering for weeks) If you’re struggling right now please remember to extend your body the same kindness you so consistently extend to other people!! Even by sitting here reading my writing you’re being so amazingly kind to me!! Project that back onto yourself and give yourself a reward, a glass of water at your favorite temperature, or even a snack if you can stomach it! It’s easy to drown ourselves in comfort content and neglect tangible acts of self love but I promise the energy will be worth it!

Nemuri: It’d been a while since Nemuri heard from you, and even longer since she’s seen you, which was rare. You didn’t drop off the face of the planet or anything but you had been evading her invitations to go out or even just to spend a night with her. She wanted to avoid showing up unannounced but it was becoming concerning. The last thing she wanted was to make you think she didn’t trust you or to startle you, but whenever she brought it up you brushed her off. She hated the idea of you being sick or even just swamped with work all alone when she was more than capable of helping you out. Eventually she just decides to show up, she texts you first but you don’t even appear to open it, she just had a bad feeling and if hero-work taught her anything it was to always trust a bad feeling.  She knocks on your front door for a while to no avail, ringing the bell intermittently, she’s just met with silence. Her key works which at least is a good sign that you didn’t pack up and move across the country or something.  “Hello??” She wanders into the apartment. It’s dark and radio silent. But there are dishes in the sink, your shoes strewn around the entryway and your bag on the table.  “You here??” You were definitely here, your car keys were on the couch and your usual walking around sneakers...or. one of them was underneath the coffee table.  She decides to check your bedroom.  “I’m gonna open the door okay?? If you aren’t decent now’s the time to say it don’t freak out at me okay?? I’m opening the door now.” She opens the door with covered eyes. “Hello?” She peeks between her fingers and is greeted with the sight of you, or the lump that is probably you, curled up underneath your duvet.  “Nemuri.” Your head pokes up overtop your pile of pillows and the fluff of your comforter.  “Well hello!” She piques, clearly relieved to see you, “good morning to you sleeping beauty, though it is 4 in the afternoon.” She pushes the door open the rest of the way and enters the room.  “What’s up?” She leans against your dresser, “where have you been?”  “Where does it look like I’ve been?” You sigh.  “What’re you a vampire or something now? Decided to go fully nocturnal?” She grins but you don’t mimic her amusement.  “What’s wrong babe? I’ve done like 4 things that you would have laughed at by now. Something’s obviously wrong. I texted you and called but you didn’t reply...are you upset with me? This isn’t how you normally act when you’re upset with me...” She wrings her hands together, “normally you come to see me all the time, I’m not saying you have to be inseparable from me or anything but...well this just isn’t like you..if I made you mad I’d rather you tell me babe since I’m clueless..”   You sigh, suddenly feeling guilty for your radio silence for the past few days and the increasing distance you’d put between the pair of you for the past week or so now. It was intentional you just shut down and you didn’t mean to but everything was a chore, even the things you loved, sometimes especially the things you loved.  “No...it’s not you.”  “Well I’m...” She looked confused, “I’m glad to hear that but I’m still kinda lost. Are you sick? Did someone else make you upset? If someone else is giving you problems you need to tell me.” Having the green light gets her to venture further into your bedroom and sit on the edge of your mattress, “I can set some people straight if that’s the problem.”  “No it’s..nobody...no one is giving me any trouble that’s not it.” You also suddenly feel sort of stupid. You don’t even know what put this on. One day you were fine and the next you were worse, and then next was worse and the next was worse than that until you ended up where you were now. In bed 5 days removed of a shower where your one meal of the day consisted of a plain bagel sometimes toasted other times not.  “No one?” She reaches out and holds the bend of your knees, “are you sure?” You nod. “Okay then...well what is it? I wanna help but you’ve gotta let me know how.”  “I just...” You scrub your face, “I just...it’s been a really bad week or..2 weeks or..however long. I don’t know. I feel so depressed and exhausted and everything is annoying and tiring and no matter how much I sleep I can’t seem to stay awake.” She takes in a breath at that and nods with it.  “Oh. OH. Well now I feel stupid pulling away so much. I just didn’t wanna be overbearing and offend you or..well...well what’s up? What set all this on? Did something happen to...to make you feel upset or?”  “I don’t know...I just think I haven’t been taking good enough care of myself. I’ve been slacking and procrastinating and then I got overwhelmed and then I got upset and now...I’m here. I just feel like such an idiot and now to think I made you think I was upset with you because I was too-”  “Don’t even finish that sentence.” Nemuri shushes you, “it’s alright. Really you don’t have to feel bad about that. I get it, I understand now so it’s okay. I’m sorry for making it about me.” Her hand moves up to squeeze your thigh.  “I wanna do everything I can to help okay? Whatever I can do to help you come out on top with this thing...” Her other hand squeezes your lower arm, “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me with this sort of thing okay? We don’t have to get into the...deep emotional part of it if you don’t wanna talk about that with me. But we can start small can’t we? When’s the last time you had something to drink?” She looks at the empty glasses on your bedside table. “And when’s the last time you ate or took a shower?”  The face you make at that tells her more than enough.  “Okay you don’t have to answer that.” She reaches out tuck your hair back but you flinch away from it, the last thing she need to feel was your dirty hair.  “Come on with that.” She sighs, “I don’t think you’re gross. I’m not grossed out at all okay? I promise. I’ve had my fair share of shower protests. It’s in the job description, no ones perfect. I love you, smelly or not. Now hold still and let me give you a kiss.”  You relent at that. She presses a long kiss to your temple, sighing into your skin, “I’m sorry you feel this way. I don’t wan you to feel this way ever..so let’s start small.. How about a nice bath, yeah? I’ll set one up for you you can soak in it for a bit, while you do that I’ll clean up around here, change your sheets and...work on that.. situation.. in the sink, then when you��re ready I’ll come wash your hair for you. After that you can relax in the bath a little more, shave if that’s something that will make you feel good, or I could put some conditioner in your hair. Or you can just sit in a nice warm bath with a cold bottle of water and get your energy back up. I’ll get you some real food in the mean time.”  She doesn’t poke or prod for information, she washes your hair with the same care and consideration that went into most of the things she did, she didn’t ask to join you, or to stay. She asked if you wanted to be alone for a little bit longer and left you to it when you confessed that you did only poking in to leave ‘the comfiest looking pajamas I could find’ for when you were done cleaning up. You manage to get yourself up and out of the bath without having to call for the help or extra motivation to do it. She only looks delighted to see you.   “How’d the bath go? Did I use enough bubbles?”  “It was nice..I didn’t realize how..far gone I was..I feel better..” You rub your arm, if she’s at all perturbed by your confession it’s not detectable.  “Yeah?? I had a feeling it would help. Now come here. I really want a hug.” She pats the empty bed beside her and you make your way over.  “Good, there you are.” She wraps her arms around you and sighs, “I missed you.” She tucks you easily into her chest, her free hand scratching the nape of your neck, “don’t apologize for that.” She stops you before you can talk.  “I ordered some food from that place you like. I wanted to make something so you could get some food in you a little faster but...you’re running a little low on raw materials.” She combs her fingers through your wet hair, “it’s okay though having your favorite might make you feel a little better.”  “Yeah..thanks for being here.” You close your eyes, still exhausted but your chest felt lighter, your whole body felt lighter.  “Of course. I only wish I came sooner but...” She pulls back and looks at you, holding the base of your skull in her hands, “I get wanting to be alone sometimes. Needing space to get your feet on the ground is normal but...don’t be afraid to ask for my help either. If there ever is a time that you want me here, need me here even...I want to be here. I know I can rely on you so I hope you know you can rely on me too.” She presses a long kiss to your forehead at that.  “I think I’ll feel a lot better tomorrow.” Your voice is quiet and your fingers brush against her collarbone. “That’s good.” Her palm pulls your hair off your forehead, “in the meantime I’ll be here to help you get there.” 

Aizawa:  Aizawa was an introvert himself. He liked being around other people at times of course but sometimes he just needed a quiet room to recharge. He figured you did too, and plus you were both plenty busy. For the most part he trusted your judgement and tended to not be very insecure when it came to how much time you spent together. He liked being around you, and would rather be with you than not for the most part but he understood probably better than anyone what exhaustion can do to a person. If you were tired then you could recharge. That being said he wouldn’t avoid you if he saw you out and about, and he saw you out and about.  It was actually late for you to be out, late for anyone to be out really. You were leaving a convince store and he was getting ready to call it a night with patrolling.  “Hey.” The way you jump out of your skin at his voice tells him he maybe should have approached you with noisier steps.  “Sorry.”  “It’s okay.” You clutch the bag you were holding, “I just thought I was getting mugged is all.”  “You think there are criminals running around when I’m out here? I don’t know if I should be insulted.” He teases a little and you jump.  “That isn’t how I meant-”  “I know.” He chuckles, “I know. What are you doing out so late? It’s almost midnight.”  “I...had to get some stuff.. You bounce nervously on the balls of your feet, the last thing you needed was him seeing you like this. It was the first time you’d gone out in like 2 weeks, you were sure you looked as terrible as you felt.  “You don’t look very happy to see me.” Ever intuitive. You supposed you didn’t keep it much of a secret, the first thing you did whenever you saw him was reach out for him, his hand, his arm, his waist, you just wanted to touch. Or normally you did, but now all you wanted to do was get away.  “I’m just...exhausted. Sorry I am happy to see you. I’m always happy to see you.” You rub your eyes, “like you said, it’s late.”  “It is late.” He agrees, “I’m finished here.”  “O-oh that’s good..are you hurt at all?”  “No, slow night...but.. why don’t we spend the night together? Since we’re both here.”  He didn’t need to see the state of your apartment.  “U-uh okay yeah we can go to yours..” “You’re closer.” He raises his eyebrows, letting his goggles fall around his neck, “and you just bought stuff. I’m assuming it’s for your apartment not mine.” He peeks into the bag, “I don’t remember sending you a midnight shopping list.”  “W-well yeah but there’s school tomorrow and you’re closer so it’s probably easier for you and-”  “You’re an extra five minutes out.” He laughs at that, “and unless you trashed all my things in the week I went without seeing you I have plenty of stuff to wear at your place.”  “Y-yeah I mean..that is true.”  He raises one eyebrow at you, “so?” You couldn’t think of a good reason to say no, the mountain of dishes in your sink, the full washer and dryer and 2 baskets of unfolded laundry didn’t seem like an excuse, especially considering it was knowledge you wanted to withhold from him in the first place.  “Y-yeah sure..it has been a while.”  “Alright, let’s go then.” He reaches out and takes your bags from you batting your hand away as you try to stop him.  “You’ve been working-”  “I got it. It’s fine come on. You really shouldn’t be out so late by yourself you know.”  “You’re probably right..” You murmur, making to follow him down the road.  He doesn’t pry about your jittery state, he asks a few question about how your day went and seems to back down even more when you take a hold of his arm on your walk.  “It really is slow tonight.” He looks around, “at least you picked a good night for a midnight excursion.” He nudges you a little playfully and you hum.  You wanted to be more engaging but every step brought you closer to the impending doom that would be Shota seeing the abysmal state in which you were living.  Once you get to the front door you realized you didn’t have your keys.  “I...” You look at your shoes and he leans against the wall.  “What’s up?”  “I don’t have my keys..”  “You really are lucky you ran into me.” He straightens up and shifts the bags to one arm to fish around in his pocket, “I’ve got one. Are you feeling alright?” You don’t reply because...well he’d figure it out.  “Please don’t say anything rude.” You warble mostly to yourself as the lock clicks, he pushes the door open. “What do you mean don’t say anything rude, why would I-” He clicks the light on as he steps inside. Oh it’s worse than you remembered. How’d your laundry get to the couch? And why did you get a new glass every time you wanted water? Especially when you didn't drink it half the time. Everything is clearer in hindsight.  “Oh.” He sets the bags down on the coffee table, which is really the only clear surface in a 10 foot radius of him.  “I’m sorry.” You groan, slumping into the wall and scrubbing your face, “I’m so gross-”  “I didn’t say that...But let me ask again.”  He turns to you, “are you feeling alright?”  “Not really no..” You look down again and he starts to pick up some of the glasses.  “The sink isn’t any better..” You warn him, hugging your chest.  “Yeah I figured.” He turns to you, arms full of various aspects of your mess. “Don’t look so guilty. Come on.” He nods you towards your kitchen, you figure the least you can do is pick up a few spoons, bowls and glasses on your way in.  “You don’t have to clean up after my stupid mess I-”  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” He shakes his head, “you don’t feel good. I wish you’d said something sooner. I would have come when you asked.”  “Don’t feel bad.” You murmur, “I wasn’t ready anyways.”  “Come here.” He holds an arm out and you cringe, “I probably smell terrible I haven’t-”  “It’s okay. It’s all okay. I’m not holding any of this against you, no one is. Come on. Over here.” So you shuffle into his chest, eventually wrapping tired arms around his ribs.  “Does this help?” He’s rubbing long strokes up your back, his palm his firm against you every stroke pushing you a little closer. You just nod into his chest.  “Did something happen? Did someone upset you? Or are you just having a hard time right now?”  “I’m just having a hard time.” You reply, trying not to let your voice sound to wet or warbly. “Cry if you want to. If you need to. It’s okay. I won’t hold that against you either. Sometimes the best thing you can do is cry. I’ll be here for you while you do.” It’s not loud hiccup-y sobs, you aren’t bawling and sniffling. It sounds just as tired as the rest of you, it’s listless and exhausted and downright empty. It honestly hurt him to hear it a little. He’s been there too.  One hand holds the back of your head the other keeps running those lines up your back pressing between your shoulder blades.  “What do you think about taking a shower?” His fingers glide along the hem of your tee shirt, grazing your neck lightly. “It’s not that I don’t want to-”  “I know. Hey, I know.” He pulls you away and slicks your hair back, “but you’re neglecting your body right now. Even if you don’t mean to. Your skin and hair will be really thankful for a shower right now. How can I help you get there?”  He takes you to the bathroom and carefully undresses you going as far to turn the shower nob for you.  “Sit if you need to.” He reminds you, gathering your clothes off the ground, “I’m going to leave the door open so call me if there’s anything you can’t do, but I’ll come check on you in 10 minutes okay? Is there anything you don’t want me touching or cleaning without you? Is there anything that’s off limits?”  “No...it’s okay...I just feel bad you’ve been working and now-”  “Don’t feel bad. I’m not doing anything that you wouldn’t do for me. Take your shower, I’ll come back in a few minutes after I fold up the laundry out here. Try to stay focused.”  “Thank you.” You nod and squeezes your shoulder.  “You’re welcome. And thank you for trusting me.”  He helps you out of the shower and wraps you in a towel. In the time you’d spent in the shower he’d gotten most of your dishes into the dish washer and you could see your couch again.  “New sheets.” He kisses your temple, “you ready to go to sleep?”  You nod as he tosses a tee shirt to you.  “Tomorrow morning you’re gonna eat a good breakfast with me right?”  “I don’t really have much to cook with-” “We’ll make it work.” He leans back against the pillows, “don’t worry about it now. Right now just focus on getting some sleep, real genuinely restful sleep. Wake me up if you need me.” 

#tw depression #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa x reader #nemuri kayama x reader #midnight x reader #nemuri kayama #aizawa shouta #aizawa #bnha hc #bnha x reader #bnha request

[mallowstep]

I'll toss you a character suggestion to feed the brain bugs today just because you've got me wondering: how was Tawnypelt's testimony?

hello thank u brain bugs r hungry

cw: sexual assault, child abuse, cults

no idea what's coming up but yeah.

okay so to recap, tigerstar is on trial for:

...something wrt organized crime?

uhh something to do with murder (stonefur)

forging a death certificate (also stonefur; there's more but i'm going to leave it at these two)

multiple counts of third degree sexual assault (hell if i know how "unknown number of times" is handled by the courts but frankly it's not super relevant)

...whatever bullshit he pulled with mudfur

child physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, and child medical neglect

violating his custody agreement with goldenflower (okay that's not criminal court i don't think but shhhhhh)

and probably loads more

so. while feathertail and mistyfoot are Important, they're not actually the only parts of this case that are going after. not sure why i went through all that considering tawnypelt is going to focus on herself, feathertail, and mistyfoot.

right. okay. so she's going to...y'know i'll have better luck if i just write things up. let's try that fancy chat feature, shall we?

Prosecution: Can you state your name for the record?

Tawnypelt: Tawnypelt, daughter of...uh...sorry, do you want...

P: You can explain.

TP: Tawnypelt, daughter of Tigerstar, but we're filing to change it to Goldenflower.

P: Could you say a little about why you're here?

TP: Yeah. Um. I left...I was living with my father for -- the past few years.

P: For how long?

TP: Since I was nine.

P: And how old are you now?

TP: Fifteen.

P: Thank you. Can you explain how you're connected to this case?

Defence: Objection, asked and answered.

Judge: Sustained.

P: Did you witness child maltreatment while you were living with Tigerstar?

TP: Yes.

P: What's the first instance you remember?

TP: When I was nine or ten, um...Featherpaw and Mistyfoot were...okay, so...Sorry.

P: Take your time.

TP: Right. I was nine or ten, and Featherpaw and I had been sharing a bedroom. And then, without warning, Featherpaw's bed and things and all were gone. So I asked Father, and he said that he moved her, because he didn't want her to...corrupt me. Um. I found out a day or two later that he meant she was supposed to stay in...it used to be a storage closet.

P: How big was the room?

TP: I'm not sure. It's probably on the house blueprints...

P: You can estimate.

TP: I never went in, when they were there. I think it had...it was big enough for maybe a mattress, a dresser? Not much space.

P: Was this move permanent?

D: Objection, leading.

J: Overruled. You can answer the question, Tawnypelt.

TP: Yeah, it was.

P: How often would you say you witnessed any kind of child mistreatment?

TP: Every day. There were...Father had high standards. So if we didn't finish our schoolwork, y'know, we'd be punished.

P: Punished how?

TP: It depended. He'd do...I was usually given extra chores, at least when I was younger. He got more frustrated with other things. Or other kids. When...Featherpaw was, he targeted her a lot. He jumped straight to corporal punishment with her.

P: Can you expand?

and i'm going to take a breath here because i've written bits of feathertail's testimony and we know this part pretty well. after they've established a baseline, the questions turn to key incidents.

(oh, and because i'm not sure how much i've mentioned it, but they do also discuss sunday punishment circle. that's...not what it was called they just called it a confession, but y'know. that's what it was.

it's one of the more fucked up parts of this. um. like not all of the really fucked up stuff, but a lot of it. a tawnypelt snippet and a mistyfoot snippet from unpublished pieces. (i'd include a feathertail snippet but frankly this is the least of what she goes through, so it doesn't tend to come up.)

Sunday afternoons, all of them gathered in the Great Room. She would listen to Tigerstar ramble about sin and cleansing; she would watch as adults kneeled before him and asked for his forgiveness.

(canvas)

"It's alright," he says, softly. He uses his hand to force her to hide her face against him. "See?" he asks, louder. "They start testing you -- remind them why you're in charge, and then they'll be easy to manage." He has one arm wrapped over her knees, the other one pressing her head against his chest. "Now, who's ready to confess?"

(ephesians 5:22)

(also if you happen to recognize that bible verse, points to you.)

so yes, very fucked up. those Particular snippets were actually me cutting before or after the more bad part of it.)

(also covered is that tigerstar often forced tawnypelt to "discipline" featherpaw, for which i provide this:

"The trick to children," Tigerstar says, "is to make them listen." He takes a fistful of Featherpaw's hair. "See? Now I have her attention." Tigerstar throws Featherpaw back, and she stumbles. "Alright," he says, "now you try."

(canvas)

there's more to this too, ofc.)

anyway. tawnypelt giving her most memorable incident wrt feathertail isn't super helpful, because it's "that time tigerstar burned featherpaw but with actual fire this time," which was dramatic but doesn't really match any of feathertail's highest moments because all things considered it's pretty low.

plus like, she got to see mudfur after that. well. "got to." she retains mixed feelings on the matter. but like. she was solidly decided that there were way worse things going on.

her most memorable incident with regard to herself is probably a particularly brutal hot sauce incident from when she was fairly young. maybe ten. like it's a recurring nightmare.

and she goes through it, yeah. children are real sensitive to that shit, and this is memorable because he's discovered tabasco habanero. it's. um. it doesn't go well for her.

compounded by the fact that when she throws up, she is further punished.

so. after that, they end up transitioning to discussing mistyfoot, and i must include the following additional cw for the rest of the post:

cw: exposing child to inappropriate sexual situations; direct discussion of rape

right. um. tawnypaw is not...intentionally exposed, but tigerstar has very little regard for what is and is not appropriate around children, and tawnypaw is no exception.

i think as of now, the worst published example of this is probably the scene in (bed sheets) with mudfur. it's too long to copy and paste here, i think, so i'll select a paragraph...

She could adjust the blanket, cover some amount of herself, but it seems pointless. Tigerstar is profusely affectionate, his hands drifting across her. Usually, they rest on her stomach.

but this is implied in that hair brushing scene, in this line:

Mistyfoot doesn’t know why they bother knocking. She’s pretty sure this room isn’t in use unless she’s in it, and Tigerstar has never told someone not to come in. She could be naked on the bed and he’d say the same thing.

y'know. tigerstar has 0 qualms about raping mistyfoot in public. women deserve privacy and dignity unless they're mistyfoot. and he's not going to check if tawnypaw is around.

he's also married to mistyfoot, and again, is very, very abusive. i mean i don't think i have to explain that but at the same time, like, y'know he carries her across the house completely naked after spending roughly ten years drilling the concept of modesty so hard that she felt uncomfortable around leopardstar (someone she's known her whole life) when she was wearing shorts and a tank top.

so he circles this back to tawnypelt...y'know he's not even...he's implying the implication of "your future husband -- soon to be husband -- might treat you like this and that's normal and fine."

y'know a combo of "this is how i treat my wife," "you are going to be someone's wife soon," etc., that basically adds up to "if your husband (chosen by me, tigerstar) wants to strip you naked in a public place and fuck you, you better just fucking do it."

(it's not even that he would be right to do that -- it's certainly a major transgression on the part of a fictional husband. but. the expectation is not that tawnypelt is the one to stop it.)

now a lot of this would be speculation, so it's a pretty carefully thought through examination, but it's a really strong piece of evidence that no one else can really provide wrt this. the closest anyone else can get is feathertail recounting tigerstar mocking her for...basically for not going through puberty? y'know because her body doesn't have the resouces for that?

and like mistyfoot and feathertail, tawnypelt does this all as tigerstar is watching her.

"He told me he was in the process of chosing my husband," Tawnypelt says. She's ignoring him. Not looking at him. "He said complete obedience was required of a wife. Wouldn't it be so much easier if Mistyfoot just stopped fighting back? If she would just submit. You better learn to submit, Tawnypaw.

"Do you want me to repeat the question?" the prosecution asks, and Tawnypelt says yes. She can see the slight shake in tigerstar's eyes as he looks to her, and she has to turn away.

"Can we take a break?"

It's the first she's asked for, but she thinks if she has to sit with his eyes pouring into her any longer, she might shut down completely.

alright it's my get ready for sleep time but i hope you enjoyed.

#ask #aerial jace #human misty au #cults #cults cw #abuse #abuse cw #tawnypelt #tigerstar #feathertail #mistystar #mine #i'm going to bed but #if people want other testimonies #i'll be happy to do that tomorrow #friend tag

[thetiedyemama]

#TalkTuesday

Over the past week, what have I been doing to make sure I keep my mental health in check while balancing my marriage, kids, and business? I'm glad you asked...

Work

Over on our Etsy store VividPrismsTieDye, I uploaded a TON of new shirts. I'm not even joking like 20 something of them. I took pictures of our recent shirts and I'm in the process of editing these pictures to put on the website. We were super impressed with how our new DSLR camera did when we were taking our stock photos. The colors come through SO well. I will never go back to taking pictures with my phone again! I've had to put myself on a strict schedule in order to make sure the shirts don't pile up and then I end up with a mass amount of shirts unlisted. I'm also working on getting the store's instagram looking somewhat presentable. Big changes coming.

My focus for the upcoming week: Spend time each day planning out content for the store's social media, finish editing our latest pictures, and get them up in the store.

Marriage

Check out my last blog post on how our Valentines day went. I am making sure to keep up with our housework to keep our marriage as stress free as possible. We have such a small space, its hard to keep everything organized. A recent tip I read was to thank your husband for the little things he does for you. Little things like when he brings you something you ask for, when he pre heats you car for you in the mornings, getting the kids ready so you can get just a few more minutes of sleep, etc. Thank him for everything, no matter how small. It will let him know how much you appreciate him.

My focus for the upcoming week: Make sure I tell my husband I appreciate him for even the smallest things. Surprise him. Even if it's something small like his favorite candy.

Kids

Now here's the big one I've needed help with this past week. My relationship with my child. I can tell when my anxiety and depression are rearing its ugly head because I start to get frustrated with Arya for developmentally appropriate things. She's been teething lately which has made her more fussy and irritable than usual. Arya's crying has always sent my anxiety through the roof. Especially if I feel as though I'm not helping calm her down. I just have to slow down and remember that it's not me. She's a baby. Babies will do as babies do.

My focus for the upcoming week: When I feel like I'm getting overwhelmed with Arya when she's being unreasonable and unruly, take a step away, a deep breath and center myself. Remind myself that everyone, myself included, has 'bad days' and that I need to be Arya's guiding light while she learns to navigate this thing called life. How do I want her to act when she gets overwhelmed? Because whatever I do, she will mimic.

Self

The big sacrifice I've made lately is wanting to spend more time with my husband and child while neglecting my own laundry. It seems like every time I get done cooking, cleaning, and doing Arya's laundry that I'm burnt out and just can't seem to get around to my own laundry. I wash it, dry it, and then stick it in a basket in our den where it sticks out like a sore thumb. Tonight I'll tackle this monster of a chore before I go to bed because by letting it sit there, its only bothering me more and more.

My focus for the upcoming week: Get this laundry done! Knock it out in one go, and don't let it get to this point again. I have to rip that band aid off sooner or later! Utilize the time after my husband puts my daughter to bed when he goes to sleep, and use that time for some 'me time' while I get this egregious amount of laundry done. Lay out mine and Arya's clothes for the next day. Prepare our lunches, whatever I can do to make the next day's morning just a little bit easier.

This is real life. This is motherhood. It's not always matching mommy and me outfits and perfectly clean white and beige instagram ready homes. To me, that's a completely unrealistic reality to some of us balancing an online business, and 8-5 job, a blog, marriage, kids, self care time, etc. If you CAN balance all of those, good on you. Please let me know your secret. But for ME and a majority of moms out there, we're just doing the best we can to stay afloat.

Let me know how you mamas and ladies are doing in the 'Big Four' areas of life.

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[myth-fyre]

Rant post please ignore

I know most of my problems are self made, I realize that. I also know a lot of my problems stem from things I don't realize. And some problems stem from family. Living with my mom has been taking an increasing toll on my mental health I think. I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe she's right about the some stuff. My brain is a mess right now and I haven't been able to think clearly since I woke up. I was having an off day and was going to try doing some simple stuff like chores hopefully (sometimes I can't get myself to do even that much) and study. My mom suggested that we hang lights and work out some when she walked in my room. It takes me a while to start functioning when I get up so I guess I didn't respond or how I did was frustrating. I didn't know though. Went to the restroom and by the time I came out like 4 minutes later she was infuriated. Yelling at me because I didn't do chores the last few days and don't spend enough time with her. Now I don't react well to yelling, especially from my mother. I lock up mentally, I can't think, I can't pinpoint any thoughts and I don't know what I'm feeling or how to react. Physically my face twitches at every syllable and I can't sit still, i end up sitting somewhere and it's hard to focus my eyes on anything especially her. Today I reacted even worse and ended up crying which just caused her to react with disdain it felt like. I've gotten better at not locking up like that, she hates it that I react that way so I try not to. I don't really remember what all she said to me because it's hard to think during and it still is now. I think the general gist of what she told me is that I don't care about her or myself or family in general and that I don't try to improve myself or the way I live. I'll admit I do need to improve, that I know, but I have been trying. I started taking showers more frequently and I'm studying more and I'm keeping my room clean(er) and I've stopped ghosting people when I have really bad days. It's not enough I know but I feel like I'm making progress. I never know how to say things so they come across the way I mean or articulate my emotions so she will understand me so I spend most of the time on bad days, and while she's frustrated with me, silent. It makes things worse in terms of her frustration but I can't help it. I apologize but it's never a good thing to apologize I guess because it only makes her more angry but I don't know what to do. She says she's trying to understand and help. I know she wants to and it's my own fault for making her upset because I don't talk. The yelling is only because she's frustrated and doesn't know what else to do. I understand that and it's okay, but I wish she could say what's on her mind and be direct without the yelling. I'm good at answering questions about myself. I try to be self aware and realize what my actions do to people. I'm an introvert to label it, I usually stick to myself or friends. I'm used to being alone, I have been for the majority of the past 13 years. My mom's health issues got in the way of her doing a lot of stuff she wanted to. I'm trying to adjust to the fact that she's trying to connect with me but after so long of whenever I'm at home I'm alone or only around her when she needs something it's strange. I'm trying as well, Id like to have a good relationship with my mother and I think for the most part I do. Everyone's got ups and downs. I use my phone and computer as an escape from my thoughts a lot of the time, they're also how I connect with my friends but I spend too much time on them, especially now that I'm studying. I need to make sure that I can help her when she needs it and she's pointed out that I've been neglectful of the home, our rabbit, myself, and her. She's right I do need to mix it up, there's a lot more I could be doing for sure besides playing games on the computer or scrolling through my phone. Its helpful but gets in the way so I just need to balance it.

Tldr: some bullshit that I thought would be a good idea to post online

Her name is Nova and she's a lil devil and I love her

#Rant #Scroll past this

[argothiathedreamer]

no art today, not because I don’t want to do any mind you, just because I’ve got something else that needs doing.

#were it up to me I'd keep sketching for a few more days #Argothia's being weird again #it's just a chore that I've neglected and is going to take a few days to get caught up on