#it's just another bunch of random threads
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I will write this thought about Veganism and Classism in the USA in another post so as to not derail the other thread:
There are comments in the notes that say meat is only cheaper than plant based foods because of subsidies artificially lowering the price of meat in the United States. This is...part of the story but not all of it.
For my animal agriculture lab we went to a butcher shop and watched the butcher cut up a pig into various cuts of meat. I have had to study quite a bit about the meat industry in that class. This has been the first time I fully realized how strongly the meat on a single animal is divided up by socioeconomic class.
Like yes, meat cumulatively takes more natural resources to create and thus should be more expensive, but once that animal is cut apart, it is divided up between rich and poor based on how good to eat the parts are. I was really shocked at watching this process and seeing just how clean and crisp an indicator of class this is.
Specifically, the types of meat I'm most familiar with are traditionally "waste" parts left over once the desirable parts are gone. For example, beef brisket is the dangly, floppy bit on the front of a cow's neck. Pork spareribs are the part of the ribcage that's barely got anything on it.
And that stuff is a tier above the "meat" that is most of what poor people eat: sausage, hot dogs, bologna, other heavily processed meat products that are essentially made up of all the scraps from the carcass that can't go into the "cuts" of meat. Where my mom comes from in North Carolina, you can buy "livermush" which is a processed meat product made up of a mixture of liver and a bunch of random body parts ground up and congealed together. There's also "head cheese" (made of parts of the pig's head) and pickled pigs' feet and chitlin's (that's made of intestines iirc) and cracklin's (basically crispy fried pig skin) and probably a bunch of stuff i'm forgetting. A lot of traditional Southern cooking uses basically scraps of animal ingredients to stretch across multiple meals, like putting pork fat in beans or saving bacon grease for gravy or the like.
So another dysfunctional thing about our food system, is that instead of people of each socioeconomic class eating a certain number of animals, every individual animal is basically divided up along class lines, with the poorest people eating the scraps no one else will eat (oftentimes heavily processed in a way that makes it incredibly unhealthy).
Even the 70% lean ground beef is made by injecting extra leftover fat back into the ground-up meat because the extra fat is undesirable on the "better" cuts. (Gross!)
I've made, or eaten, many a recipe where the only thing that makes it non-vegan is the chicken broth. Chicken broth, just leftover chicken bones and cartilage rendered and boiled down in water? How much is that "driving demand" for meat, when it's basically a byproduct?
That class really made me twist my brain around about the idea of abstaining from animal products as a way to deprive the industry of profits. Nobody eats "X number of cows, pigs, chickens in a lifetime" because depending on the socioeconomic class, they're eating different parts of the animal, splitting it with someone richer or poorer than they are. If a bunch of people who only ate processed meats anyway abstained, that wouldn't equal "saving" X number of animals, it would just mean the scraps and byproducts from a bunch of people's steaks or pork chops would have something different happen to them.
The other major relevant conclusion I got from that class, was that animal agriculture is so dominant because of monoculture. People think it's animal agriculture vs. plant agriculture (or plants used for human consumption vs. using them to feed livestock), but from capitalism's point of view, feeding animals corn is just another way to use corn to generate profits.
People think we could feed the world by using the grain fed to animals to feed humans, but...the grain fed to animals, is not actually a viable diet for the human population, because it's literally just corn and soybean. Like animal agriculture is used to give some semblance of variety to the consumer's diet in a system that is almost totally dominated by like 3 monocrops.
Do y'all have any idea how much of the American diet is just corn?!?! Corn starch, corn syrup, corn this, corn that, processed into the appearance of variety. And chickens and pigs are just another way to process corn. That's basically why we have them, because they can eat our corn. It's a total disaster.
And it's even worse because almost all the USA's plant foods that aren't the giant industrial monocrops maintained by pesticides and machines, are harvested and cared for by undocumented migrant workers that get abused and mistreated and can't say anything because their boss will tattle on them to ICE.
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tags: repost + drunk! fem reader + alcohol + age gap + Toji is soft and sweet but also possessive and jealous + you feel him up + he carries you + slightly suggestive + self-ship piece made for everyone to enjoy + lmk any missing tag please!
Three missed calls and one unheard voicemail.
Saturday 2:30 am, September 2nd; Hey…I called you two times, first one rang a few times then went straight to voicemail, and the second call the same thing happened, now this is the third and final time I have attempted to reach out before I come out looking. Where are you? Don’t make me ask again princess.
You stared down at your phone screen with a scoff at your boyfriend’s behavior. Dating an older man is not for the weak or the people who get annoyed easily. It was Friday night and you left his place after staying there all week.
So weren’t you entitled to go out and have some fun? You did ask if he wanted to go but said something along the lines of my back hurts not tonight doll but apparently not enough for him to come out and look for you.
It wasn’t as if you were going out with a bunch of your guy friends, sure there’d be a few but mostly it was just you and your girlfriends wanting a night out, and being twenty-eight it only made sense, right?
You stood in front of the mirror in your best friend’s bedroom flanked by your group of friends. Aya stood behind you and cupped your breasts when you took a picture. “Send that to gramps, he’d lose it.”
Cackles could be heard from your close knit of women who leaned in and made pouty faces taking another one to send to Toji who was currently at his house waiting for you to call him so he can come and pick you up.
It was after the fourth bar everyone decided to stop by Aya’s apartment since it was the closest one at the time and you were beyond tipsy sending him random messages throughout the evening. “He’s not that old.” You shot back.
“Old enough to be your dad! His son is close to our age! Have you thought about a little son vs. dad duo? I wonder who’s better at eating pussy?” She teased and changed into yet another outfit before going back out again.
Your face scrunched up as you threw a balled-up dress at her head. “You’re disgusting, and I can promise you that it’s Toji. That man had me crying last night just from - ”
You stopped mid sentence feeling your face flush, your inebriated brain played the memories of just that; the way he had your legs thrown over his shoulders as he made out with your pussy slowly fingerfucking you until you squirted.
Em who you also haven known since preschool snatched your phone from your hand to open the text thread between you and Toji. “Just from what? Maybe an older dude is the way to go, they can dick you down good.”
She sighed wistfully already like she didn’t have a boyfriend. “Do not look through our messages because you will be disappointed in me, I’m dirty.” You squealed trying to reach for your phone only to get smacked on the hand.
“Oh my god! You sent him a picture of your whole pussy?" She shrieked shoving your phone back in your chest with a loud cackle as the other girls joined in falling on Aya's bed with more laughter.
They all sat up and looked at you like you were their momma bird and they were waiting to be fed. "You are dirty, do you like it when daddy spanks you?" Aya asked in a deep tone trying her best to mock Toji.
You picked up a small plushie and threw it at her head feeling your cheeks flame to a level of uncomfortable warmth. "Stop! You guys are making me want to go back to his house and get fucked dumb and I did yes, he loves it and I love showing it off to him." You huffed.
With everyone ready you and everyone else linked arms and squeezed through the front door of the apartment and down the street not having a single clue that Toji was already two steps behind you, after the first time you didn't answer this was the only way to check on you and make sure nothing was going down.
He couldn't help but click his tongue a little as you swayed and clung to Aya who wasn't much better than you as everyone got shoved through the line and into the doors. It was a split-second decision he made to follow after, one he wouldn't regret one bit.
Toji was sure he would never fall in love again after his first marriage, the idea of his heart being shattered again wasn't something he wanted to go through with which is why he was here at almost three in the morning stalking you making sure you were okay and stayed safe; his pretty little girlfriend who keeps gushing about him.
It wasn't hard not to hear you giggle and talk about how much you love your boyfriend who does everything for you and how could you really not? Thankfully you were drunk enough that you didn't notice him standing in the corner dressed darkly with a hat covering most of his face.
"I think you should just move in with him but then we'd never see you again, what about our weekly date nights? You've been putting it off since you met gramps." Aya pouted as you and her danced close to the edge of the bar keeping your eyes on your friends and drinks.
You glared at Aya and let her tug you closer indulging in one of her favorite love languages. "Stop calling him that. He's barely in his forties and treats me so well, I do love him Aya, I really do." You admitted wishing you were in his arms peppering his face with kisses.
Aya handed you your drink with a shit-eating grin. "I just love teasing you is all, and I know older men are all that and a bag of chips but babe...you have to remember that he is way older than you with a kid younger than us, I think maybe your daddy issues are showing."
"How about you butt out of my relationship." You hissed feeling the fun bubbly feeling of being drunk turn into something else; a hot red rage that took a hold of you like a vice. You stumbled back away from her and broke away from your group of friends for a breath of air.
When you came back inside you still didn't see Toji who now moved after hearing your conversation with Aya and knew you were going to cry about it to him later which he'd happily lap up and soothe away any thoughts that would even begin to push him out of your life.
The booze in your veins pumped along with the blasting music as you nursed another drink while trying your best to pull out your phone to text Toji.
[You - 3:26 am]
srry im drink plz pick me up
Toji who was a mere few feet from you when he felt his phone vibrate which he quickly slid from his pocket to read your message clicking his tongue again as he looked over at you and his heart melted. You looked sad and defeated which is not a good thing paired with the alcohol you drank.
You hunched over the oak bar and sighed when you felt a pair of hands on your upper back, you didn't even need to turn around to know who it was. "What's the matter with my princess?" He asked.
Toji grasped your shoulders and pulled you back a little into his chest, the back of your head rested on his abs as he tilted your head up to look at him, unshed tears swam in your eyes. "How'd you get here so quickly?" You asked slurring your words together with a giggle.
He bent down to press a soft chaste kiss to your forehead before collecting you in his arms letting you hang off his left one almost as if you were a doll, his hand pulled your dress down before patting your ass with a heavy sigh looking for your friends to update them on you.
"I'm taking her back to my place, and I'm sure she will call you in the morning," Toji told your group of friends who only nodded in response watching you hang off of him, your head hung low. "Byeeeee!!" You squealed when he made his way to the exit.
Once he got you both outside he sat you down on your feet holding your upper arms. "Can you walk to the car? It's down the street." He asked immediately getting his answer when you stumbled back again, thankfully you were close enough he was able to wrap one large arm around your waist keeping you upright.
Toji used his strength and sobriety to his advantage to hoist you up again tossing you over his shoulder carefully, one hand rested on your ass to make sure it didn't bunch up. "Mhm! Toji!" You screamed reaching your hands down to squeeze and slap his ass hearing him grunt and huff your name.
"Making sure my princess gets home. Stop." His hand came down with a little force on your backside to catch your attention when you tried to interrupt him with a string of unintelligible noises.
You hung from his shoulder like a lifeless rag doll until he finally made it to his car and unlocked it with the key in his pocket. When he sat you down again your hands reached up to grab his pecs with a grin. "Love you and your big 'ole tits. Wanna bite 'em." You squealed.
He couldn't help but roll his eyes a little at you but still let you get your way as you used the extra height from your high heels to motorboat him with a loud laugh. "Me and my big tits love you too, now get in the car so I can get you into bed." He ordered with a grunt.
Ten minutes later you found yourself settled into Toji's bed watching him as he cleaned your face with a washrag before he took off your fake eyelashes the best he could. "What's the point of these? They look like fuckin' spiders." He said and tucked you in earning a giggle.
Toji never got his answer seeing that you were asleep, your hand curled into his shirt still. His mind wandered about your conversation with Aya earlier and knew that you two would need to have one of your own.
#tw: alcohol#Toji x reader#Toji Fushiguro x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x you
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Stuck In Your Web
Switch! Miguel O’Hara x Switch Spiderwoman! Reader
Pretty much I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be dommed by Miguel or Dom him so I made it so that we could do both in one fic.
warnings: 18+, poorly translated spanish, not proofread, pure filth
Miguel should’ve been more careful; his arrogance is what led him to the position he is in now. 8 hours ago he appeared in your dimension, thinking that hunting down and subduing an amateur Spiderwoman anomaly would be an easy run of the mill task.
When you think back to the careless confidence he showed before you knocked him out, you can’t help but snicker.
Right now, his limbs are imbedded in a large spider’s web that is sustained by the four corners of a roof on a random building on Your Earth.
His wavy brown hair is dishevelled, and his suit is torn in multiple places, the tanned skin underneath flushed and shivering as another orgasm afflicts his body.
You coo from your place above him, your hand gently pumping his cock as it pulsates in your palm. It must’ve been the third time in the past hour.
“You’re such a good boy, giving me all this cum.”
He moans shamefully, his head lolling to the side as his pretty eyelashes flutter close.
You run your thumb over his cock and slit, soaking your thumb with his milk before bringing it to your mouth, revelling in the tangy sweetness of him.
“I know you’re tired baby, but just one last time,” you say as you lean over his body to roughly capture his lips with your own, allowing him to taste how good he is on your tongue.
“Por favor, no puedo mas,” he murmurs desperately.
His abs tense as you return your hand to his aching cock, lightly stroking and teasing the appendage as you press kisses on the exposed areas on his abdomen and chest.
Your eyes train on him as he groans, whimpers, and moans once again. The webs pulling tight over his arms and thighs as his muscles bunch in an attempt to escape from the overstimulation.
“It’s so cute when you try to resist Miggy, it just makes watching you fall apart more satisfying.”
He growls at the nickname, his jaws snapping at you as his fangs extend and red colours his eyes. “When will you let me free?” He snarls.
“Hm…” You tap a finger against your chin in mock contemplation. “Whenever I want to!”
You cut off his sarcastic reply by sinking your mouth down his length, enjoying the way his voice cracks into a whimper.
Slowly his hips begin to gyrate, the soft sounds of his moans and whimpers getting louder and more insistent as he fucks into your mouth.
“Yes…” He moans breathily, his hips rolling in a way that makes his waist look utterly divine. You release his cock from your mouth and crawl over him, his red puffy lips and fucked out face staring up at you from his thick lashes as his hips struggle to buck up into nothing.
“You want me to fuck you boss man? Make you my perfect sex doll?” You murmur, gently threading your fingers through his hair before tightly gripping at the soft strands. “Tell me if you want it.”
He stays silent for a few beats as his body writhes underneath you. “I want it,” he whispers.
You grin at him before dropping down on his cock, engulfing him entirely in one go. He gasps and an obscene moan tears from your throat from how deep he is. You grind on him a bit, trying to get used to his size.
“You’re already so wet,” he rasps, his back arching as you take him from root to tip. “Sucking me in so good,” he moans.
The webs start to draw blood as he struggles to grab your hips. You press down on his chest and move up and down on him faster, your moans now match his as your pelvises slam against each other, Miguel’s hips picking up a desperate pace as he fucks into you.
“Please Mami, ‘m needa cum,” he slurs, his voice heavy with his native Spanish accent and delirious from the feeling of your cunt.
“Mhm, I’ll give you what you need Miggy,” you say, leaning down to trail kisses across his jaw. You instantly realise your mistake as he cranes his neck forward, but you’re too slow to pull away as he sinks his teeth into our shoulder and lightly sucks. The venom in his blood instantly paralyses your body, causing you to slump over him as he messily claws away the web-strings clutching him to the giant web.
Inwardly you scream in frustration, sure that you’re going to be taken to HQ and locked up somewhere without even being able to experience the feeling of cumming on Miguel’s dick.
Instead, he stretched under you on the web. His hands reach up to caress the skin that he's been struggling to touch. He seems to take pleasure in the feeling of your body, groaning as he cups your breasts and grips your stomach, waist, and hips, before his hands finally cease their journey on the flesh of your ass.
“After this, I’m imprisoning you in the high security ward of HQ,” he grumbles, harshly digging his claws into your ass and spanking you as he starts to bounce you up and down his cock.
You can only moan into his neck as Miguel uses you as a fleshlight, throwing his head back and moaning into your ear as he pounds into you from underneath. His dick is in so deep, every rut of his hips causing his cock to perfectly rub against the sensitive swell in your pussy.
“Love this cunt, grips me so good – Fuck.”
He smacks your ass again and plants his feet wide as he slightly lifts and angles hips, dragging you over his length in such a way that your clit grinds against his pelvis with every thrust.
You cry out as the heat building in you unravels and an orgasm tears through you, your cunt involuntarily undulating around his dick with your orgasm.
You heave as his dick continues to ram into you, fucking you through your prolonged orgasm.
“Yes hermosa, your pussy’s milking me so good,” he groans. "Pussy so warm and perfect for me."
He wraps his thick biceps around your body and hugs you to him as he fucks you even faster, pornographic moans and whimpers spilling from his lips as he chases his own orgasm. “Fuck yes, ‘m gonna cum,” he whines, rolling your bodies over to lie on top of you without breaking the frantic rhythm of his thrusts.
Your eyes roll into the back of your skull as you take his dick. The paralysis already wore off but you’re still immobile due to the sheer weight of him crushing you into the web.
He lets out a long, drawn-out groan as you feel his sperm flood your cunt. You moan and grip onto his shoulders as his hips stutter with each spurt of cum, his orgasm rolling through him.
Eventually, he comes down from his high and sinks completely into you. He stays balls deep for a while, dick pulsating every now and then as he plugs your cum-filled pussy, refusing to let even a drop escape.
If only you could stay this full forever.
He hisses as he slowly pulls out of you. He rests his arousal on your stomach, panting as he keeps you trapped with his weight.
"You did so well mami," he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
You were spellbound for a second (or two), the surprising gentleness of him simultaneously comforting and reigniting a flame in you that has been long since dead. You barely restrain yourself from saying: "Another round, please."
You fervently shake away your crazy thoughts. “That was amazing and all but unfortunately, I have places to be,” you drawl, seeming to shock him from his post-orgasm haze.
“I-“
“Can you release some of the weight real quick? I kind of can’t breathe.”
He frowns but hikes up to his elbows and knees, allowing you some breathing room as he stares down at you with an emotion you cannot name.
Refusing to dwell on the soft look in his eyes, you lunge forward and unhinge your jaw to release your fangs before jamming them in his neck. Lets settle this quickly.
You roll out from under him before the venom takes hold of his body and he collapses onto the web. As you stare at his unmoving body you think: what am I going to do with him now?
Careful to make sure no one sees you; you gently dress and wash him with clothes and a cloth you swing to your apartment half-naked to get.
After sticking him to the web again, you leave a note and swing back to your apartment, crawling into your window in the wee hours of the morning with your pussy aching and his thick cum running down your leg.
...
Miguel opens his eyes shrouded in partial darkness, the beginnings of dawn illuminating the east side of the city. He scrambles out of your webs and drops to the roof, picking up the note implanted in his hair that floats down with him.
When he reads the note he bares his teeth and annoyedly shouts at the piece of the paper.
“Lyla, place a tracker on Spiderwoman 2023 in Earth 49710.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nice sex lips Miggy xxx
-Spiderwoman
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Translations (allegedly):
[Por favour, no puedo mas – Please, I can’t anymore]
[Hermosa – Gorgeous / beautiful]
[Mami – Slang for an attractive woman in this context]
Sorry about the shortness of the fic everyone, been really busy and stressed but imma try and write more.
#miguel o'hara x reader#sub miguel o'hara#miguel ohara x reader#miguel o'hara smut#miguel ohara smut#dom reader#switch reader#sub reader#atsv x reader#atsv smut#spiderman 2099 x reader
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so what did you not like about worlds finest teen titans? There were a lot of dropped plot threads and bits I expected Waid to develop more (Roy and Ollie conflict, Roy, Garth and Wally never resolved their sleepover argument, Karen's reaction at the con to nearly being unmasked, Wally's parents, ect) and also the queerbaiting with garth (and his eyes changing colour halfway through???) was annoying. I thought it was cute overall but maybe I'm not familiar enough with some of the characters?
I held on to this ask because I was going to reread the miniseries to answer you more accurately, and then I decided to not put myself through that, so...hopefully my memory is accurate lol.
(I should note before I get into it that none of my quibbles are with Emanuela Lupacchino's art. She's a treasure and we're thrilled that she's here.)
But yeah, you've put the nail on the head with a lot of it. It was just terribly paced, like Waid didn't know how many issues he had or something. Aside from all the dropped threads you mentioned, it felt like the main bad guys were...pretty much hastily introduced, or at least assembled, in #5? There didn't seem to be any kind of...well, point to this miniseries. There was no theme. There was nothing Waid was trying to say, as far as I could tell, except "Fuck Roy Harper." (Oh, we'll get to that.) It wasn't an origin story for the team. It wasn't about adolescence or coming of age or learning who you are, except maybe a little bit for Garth. It was just...there.
And I want to be clear here: Mark Waid is one of my favorite comic book writers of all time. When he hits, he hits. The regular World's Finest book and his Shazam are wonderful. I just think this wasn't the right match of writer/characters, because he didn't handle these very well. Taking them one by one:
Dick: DC is fully in their "Dick the unbearable Mary Sue" era and this book is no exception. If I never see another comic where a whole team of experienced superheroes with major league powers and training stands around like incompetent jackasses until a Bat comes along and tells them what to do, it'll be too soon. I'm here to read about an ensemble book where everyone is a three-dimensional character, not The World's Most Perfect Boy and his loser sidekicks. Not only is it unfair to everyone else in the cast, it's doing a disservice to Dick, who is a much more interesting character than this book (or Tom Taylor, ahem) gives him credit for.
(There's also something very weird and inconsistent Waid is doing across his books with Dick - WF, WFTT, and BvR - where sometimes he's throwing a tantrum because he doesn't get to be a circus star with everyone looking at him all the time, and sometimes he's screaming at Roy for filming them, and both feel utterly arbitrary to me as well as contradictory.)
Donna: Donna's characterization in this was just...bizarre. I was a little worried about how Waid would handle her, since he has a tendency to turn more quote unquote "wholesome" female characters into the Mom Friend (see: his Champions run, where he tries to get away with it by having Kamala announce that she's not going to be the Mom Friend because she's the only girl on the team...and then immediately becoming the Mom Friend), and Donna's already very much a Mom Friend, and I didn't know what Mom Friend Squared would look like. But instead he went for this...Manic Pixie Nightmare Girl approach? Where she's really into bungee jumping and monster trucks? I'm not offended by it, it's just so utterly random. This isn't who Donna is? It's never been who she is? Baffling.
I am offended (I mean, mildly, but still) by the fact that she and Garth are shoehorned together in this. He's the only boy on the team she's never been romantically linked to, even in dreams/hallucinations/whatever, so completing the set feels very much like Donna's only narrative worth is in being a love interest, which...gross.
Garth: Garth probably got the best treatment of the bunch, to be honest. He was in character as the shy little weirdo he was in the Silver Age and in pretty much every flashback we've ever seen. He's smart and perceptive and bad at saying what he wants and generous towards those who have hurt him, all of which is very Garth. I have no complaints about him except the weird queerbaiting, and I'm not blaming Waid for that because from what I understand, solicits are written by editorial working off of a pitch, potentially before the comic is even written, so who knows what happened there? It might have been a stupid joke that didn't land, it might have been a story that was pitched and then a higher up vetoed it, it might have been a story Waid was going to write and then changed his mind. I'm not going to say it's his fault when I have no idea if that's true. Otherwise, I think he handled Garth well.
Wally: Wally was another one where I was just like ??? the whole time. He didn't feel like Wally, he felt like Bart. But, like, fanon's innocent child version of Bart and not the actual canon character, who has a lot more backbone. Why is he hero worshipping Dick like that? Why is he so docile? What was up with that weird line where Dick's like "you're the youngest?" Yes, historically Dick had already dropped out of college while Wally was still in high school, but otherwise they've always been portrayed as the same age. And if it's a reference to debut year, Donna's the youngest. It's such a random throwaway line dumped in at the very end for...why? Confusing me personally?
The worst, though, was whatever the hell was going on with Wally's parents. Wally's parents are not an idyllic suburban couple! They are not the Kents! Rudy West is only not classified as a supervillain because he doesn't have a costume! Even if he hadn't tried to kill Mary, sold the Earth out to alien robots, faked his own death, or run a deadly labor camp for children at this point in the timeline, he definitely hit Wally and, uh, poisoned Wally's Little League coach. I don't think Mary is as bad as some of fandom does, but she's certainly a difficult person. Wally was desperately unhappy at home as a child, which is why he latched on so hard to Barry and Iris. And Waid knows this, because he wrote a lot of that canon. If it's a retcon, it's such a strange, pointless one that makes all of them a lot less interesting. Just baffling.
Karen: I think it was a very smart choice to add Karen to the founding roster and make the team slightly more gender-balanced and not all-white. It's kind of a wasted choice, though, when she's so aggressively sidelined. All she does in this book is hang around with Mal and the support staff. She isn't looped into any of the major emotional conflicts - Garth and Donna, Dick and Roy, Roy and Wally and Garth. She's not treated as a headliner in the same way the others are, and that really sucks.
Roy: Hoo boy.
When Waid was announced as the writer of Batman vs. Robin, I was worried, because I had a feeling he didn't like Damian. I couldn't put my finger on why, it was just a feeling I had. And boy howdy, was I proved right! Damian is treated like shit in that book.
I had the same feeling with this book and Roy, and...let's just say I'm two for two, okay?
Here's the thing. I'm okay with Roy being written as kind of shitty, especially during his period of his life. Teen Titans: Year One writes him as an utter fuckboy, and I love that comic. The Mal and Karen issue of The Other History of the DC Universe retells the Bronze Age Titans era from their perspective, and it pulls absolutely no punches regarding Roy being, well, kind of an asshole...and it's right to do so, because it's drawing very directly from those 1970s comics, and he was often awful in those.
But Waid writes him as a generic 80s movie villain. He's a human popped collar. He's a stereotype of a bully. My problem isn't that I need him to never do anything wrong, it's that nothing in this book is specific to Roy, his history, or his established personality.
For instance, all of his bragging about how much money he has? He comes off like a kid who was born into wealth and has never known anything else, but that isn't true. He was at best middle class before Ollie, probably more likely working class given the economic situation on most reservations - but there's no indication that he's responding specifically to that shift in circumstances. He's just, like, Draco Malfoy with arrows. Also, Dick has a nearly identical history but none of the same issues. He even says "Roy and I have the same background but he sucks." Why is one of them a perfect angel untouched by filthy lucre, and the other is Bradley Uppercrust III?
And then there's the subplot with Ollie neglecting Roy, which fizzled out to a real wet fart of a resolution. But honestly, at no point did I know where Waid was going with that, because...well, if you know Roy's history, you know Ollie neglecting him is what leads directly to Roy getting into drugs. And like...first of all, the timeline here is off, because historically Ollie didn't ditch Roy until after he lost his money, and he still has it here. (How interesting would it have been to have Roy pretending he was still rich in addition to pretending Ollie was around?) But also, this comic ends on an "and now everything is fine!" note, but it isn't! It really, really isn't. So Ollie showing up at the end and being like "I'm here for you, buddy" doesn't ring true, because he is demonstrably not in this very comic, and we also know he won't be in the future. And Roy getting what he wants doesn't feel like a satisfying resolution either because we don't actually get to see changed behavior from him, and again, we know this won't last. (Again, TT:YO handles this dynamic very well, where we see that Ollie is an affectionate but negligent guardian who Roy is learning some very bad habits from.)
And to top it off, constantly contrasting Terrible Roy to Virtuous Dick and simultaneously pretending that Ollie was at this point a responsible guardian has the (I hope unintentional) effect of implying that Roy will eventually become an addict because he's just a bad and weak person, instead of a struggling teen who needed support and didn't get it. I would have actually preferred a story that hinted at the beginning of Roy's addiction and how he hides it from the Titans, because we've never had that story told in comics, but I don't think Waid's the one to write it. Instead we get a conflict that's out of character for Roy, a resolution that doesn't feel at all earned, and the looming threat of Roy's immediate future which Waid refuses to address.
In conclusion, this book was a mess, and you should all read Teen Titans: Year One instead.
#meta#teen titans#dick grayson#robin#donna troy#wonder girl#garth#aqualad#wally west#kid flash#karen beecher#bumblebee#roy harper#speedy
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archaeology report snippets
So I'm still chewing through Vol II of the Must Farm Site Reports. Vol I was a bit dry but comparatively breezy, like 350 pages of summary. Vol II is the specialist reports, broken out by topic, and it is. Well. Dense. (I'm on page 1189 of Vol II, and have just reached the section on coprolites, LOL.)
But. I printed off a map of the site while reading Vol I, and have been notating things on it as I read. And so I can do things like. Well, I got to the bit about the beads, and noted down the findspot of the one assemblage of beads that very, very likely was a strung necklace (including the large amber bead, the photo of which in the fingers of a finder is the main image on the post I reblogged about the whole thing)-- and was able to put together that this necklace was probably dropped very close to the likely location of an exit door from the structure. Some of the beads were shattered by the heat, but the amber bead was only slightly charred-- and amber burns very well and readily, as I found out when I had my own house fire some years ago. (RIP those earrings I loved)
More random observations under the cut, and I do mean random. I should write up a proper summary sometime, and maybe I will, but I'm still going through the first readthrough. So this is just scattershot Things I Care Deeply About.
Among the textile finds was a lot of flax. Flax seeds, in caches-- some near the food but others not, likely seeds for replanting the next year. Flax stalks, unprocessed. Flax fiber, processed. Flax spun into thread. Linen fabric.
There was also a lot of flax debris all over the floor. They'd rippled, broken, and scutched the flax indoors. Flax seeds and chaff everywhere! But the floors seem to have been covered in grass and reed mats, largely. And there were live sheep in the houses, who left shit scattered around, much of which charred and was preserved. So I suppose a few flax seeds and some chaff wasn't going to add a great deal to the assemblage that wasn't already there.
The flax wasn't retted.
The wheat had been picked by hand, and then the wheat straw had been uprooted to harvest it in as long a length as possible. The straw was woven into mats and some might have been roof thatch.
They ate wheat prepared several ways, and they seem to have stored it still in the hulls, then threshed a few days' supply at once, then roughly ground it, and only finished grinding it more finely into flour right before using it. In a wet environment this made the most sense to keep it from spoiling. They made the wheat into porridge, dough, and also several pots were found with mixtures that included a lot of unpalatable chaff-- possibly they were brewing this mixture, as the chaff would give the necessary breathing room for fermentation to take place.
The textile remnants were all preserved by charring, so there's no information remining about color. No evidence of dyeing exists in the region until a bit later, the Iron Age. But there were roots of yellow iris in the corner of the building where the loom probably was, and one had been neatly cut in half: yellow iris is occasionally used in medicine, but is also a decent yellow dye.
It was the Bronze Age, and there were many bronze tools discovered-- a sort of "set" in each of the households, like everyone had around the same quantity of tools for various purposes. But there were also a bunch of flint tools discovered. Bronze Age worked flints aren't anything on the artistry of those of earlier eras, but the basic functional knowledge was obviously retained, and I feel like the little flint knives were like shitty plastic-handled scissors of today, you'd get one and use it until it broke and toss it and then go whack another flake off the household flint core. There were flint "querns" in three of the houses, similar in shape to the stone querns used to grind grains, but the flint ones would leave dangerous razor-sharp shards if they were used for food, and in other contexts have baffled archaeologists-- why would you make a quern out of a dangerous material? Here's the answer: They were used as sandpaper. If you had a wooden item you wanted to sand smooth, you used the flint block for it. You also, in a pinch, could flake yourself a new cheap little knife off the side of it.
There were a few human bones discovered and all of them were old. Most of them were in the mud under the houses, as if they'd been deposited just before the houses were built. One was a near-complete skull that was worn smooth with handling, and possibly had been worked immediately after its owner (a young probably woman)'s death to make the base flat so it could sit on a shelf or table. One was an arm bone with butchering marks on it, gnawed by dogs at some past point. There was a vertebra, in one of the houses there was somebody's adult canine tooth, and outside the wall of the settlement there was a bit of a femur that had been roughly handled (possibly deposited from the earlier causeway there, which the settlement had been built overtop the ruins of). Only one bone had charring to suggest it had been in the conflagration, it was a bit of a skull and had apparently been somewhere in one of the houses as it burned-- maybe in the roof rafters. So it seems like there was some practice with dedicating a site with human remains? It doesn't read like ancestor worship, which had been my first thought, but those descriptions-- well obviously their ideas of what was suitable or respectful were different than mine but. They read more like offerings, perhaps. Impossible to know! But fascinating. None of the human remains are of the people who lived there, that's fairly certain given the age of the bones and the contexts. (Another bit of analysis: isotopes of the bones suggest their owners had eaten highly terrestrial diets, while we know from coprolites and fish bones that the people in the pile dwellings were eating fish.)
Most of the collapsed buildings lie in such a way that it's clear they were not disturbed after the burning, no attempts were made at salvage, the site was not interfered with. Except for one of the buildings, Structure 3, which was damaged in the 1970s so we don't have much of it-- but of what's there, several of the timbers are disarranged in a way that doesn't make sense for how the building would have collapsed, and one of the beams especially looks as though someone flung it aside sometime after the building collapsed-- possibly much later-- but before the site was buried in sediment. Either a survivor coming back just to look for one important thing, or a much later scavenger poking around? Impossible to say. But it wasn't beavers, and no other animals would bother with timbers like that. And whatever they were looking for, they didn't disturb any of the other ruins-- at least, not of the ones that survived to be excavated. It is important to remember, as we discuss the site, that given the shape of the palisade and the extent of the quarrying nearby, there were probably originally twice as many buildings at least, if not more, and no trace survives of the rest.
While there's no evidence of bronze casting at the site, suggesting all the bronze implements would have been imported from elsewhere (and their somewhat-diverse origins don't contradict this, though many of them are similar/of similar material), the pottery does seem to be local. The assemblage of pots also all have a fairly strong stylistic resemblance to one another, but are not all made with the same level of skill. It seems very likely that within the community were several potters, some more experienced and some novices, and the work was shared among them, but they clearly worked in close proximity and shared stylistic preferences and techniques. One pot in particular is rather lopsided and there's a lump where the clearly-novice maker thinned the wall too much and had to glob more clay on to fix the hole. They broke a lot of pots-- estimates put it at a pot per week across the whole settlement, a pot per month per house-- and it was mostly the cooking pots that got broken. It's possible to estimate how many people were eating in each house by counting how many eating bowls and drinking cups there were.
Piece after piece of evidence tells us this settlement didn't last long-- the wood was green when it burned, and oak seasons in a year or two; there are no signs of nuts or fruit which ripen in late autumn; the wood was all cut at once sometime between March and September given the state of the sap in it, and the pilings were certainly driven when the water was at its lowest in the winter; the articulated lamb skeletons totally free of any evidence of butchery were probably live lambs when the fire started and given their age and the time lambs are born it was late summer or early autumn when they died.
To that I'll add that I know flax ripens in high summer and the debris of processing it was all over the floors.
Piece after piece of evidence suggests these people were farming on dry land, had largely terrestrial diets. But they were also eating fish, we know from the arcs of pike bones scattered outside the footprints of the houses. There's very little residue of fish in their cooking pots, but we also know they were eating it, and eating it undercooked or raw in some instances, because of the parasite eggs in their coprolites. And the absence of roundworm eggs suggests they did not spend much time in terrestrial living settings; many of those sites when explored show evidence of roundworm infestations. I haven't seen this conclusion drawn yet in the literature but that suggests to me that they came to this pile-driven settlement from another one, if they only spent at most a year here. But that's just my concusion.
I keep not looking at the index of Vol II so I keep thinking I'm at the end and then there's another chapter. The joys of reading a PDF rather than a paper book, LOL. Oh I'm almost at the end! OK let me read this last chapter then. Oh it's a report on the mechanics of the conflagration. Okay. This is the central mystery! Well they say up front they can't possibly tell what caused it.
Other pile-driven lake-dwelling settings from similar eras are known to have been burned down, possibly deliberately, and then rebuilt over the top of the ruins, probably because the buildings would be so difficult to maintain and it would be easier to reuse the prime settlement spot without the debris of old, failing buildings. This was very, very clearly not that.
"The presence of so many items of apparent value and use within the conflagration debris, and the deep, localized char patterns on timbers left to smoulder for many hours undisturbed, when a person present could have easily separated them to extinguish the last burning elements and to save useful timbers from destruction, suggest the inhabitants were either unwilling or unable to respond to the fire, or else unaware of the destruction." (p. 1264)
They think it started in the southeast-middle of Structure 1, and collapsed the roof of it rather quickly but not before spreading to the others. But there are no signs of any attempts to put it out. The smoke would have been visible for miles, even if by some weird chance everyone in the settlement was out doing something like tending the dryland fields their crops were obviously in (there's no way this would be true for a routine reason, you just can't leave premodern houses untended like that, somebody is home to tend the fire and start dinner, that's just got to be how it works, but even if everyone had gone out they would see the smoke and come back!); it's not like there wasn't water all around to use to put out a fire. It starting in one place not many, with no sign of accelerants or fuel caches placed around to speed it, is a sign that it wasn't intentionally set, but it's just plain bizarre that nobody tried to put it out, or tried to salvage anything from the houses, or even just set loose the live animals that were in the houses who surely would have fled (they weren't tiny lambs, they were a few months old, well old enough to run).
Something happened, but we just can't know what. The fire burned unattended, un-interfered-with: nobody was inside. We simply can't know why.
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✨2023: A Summary✨
Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)
Tagged by @lurkingshan (here) and @wen-kexing-apologist (here). Thanks for the tags!
In 2023, I made 175 original posts, including 45 metas about 12 different shows and two large scale projects (the GMMTV Multiverse and the GMMTV Kissing charts). It was interesting to see what meta (and how much) I had written in which months. It's also fun looking back as I approach my one year anniversary of watching and writing about BL - I'm so grateful for all the wonderful people I've met and gotten to chat with over these past months!
January and February [0 metas]
I wasn’t on BL Tumblr yet! Any and all meta came in the form of thoughts, texts, and powerpoint presentations.
March [6 metas]
My BL Tumblr debut! I started this blog with the intention of 1) more easily gathering and archiving posts for future reference, and 2) collecting my thoughts somewhere other than text threads and my notes app, so I began posting meta the day I got here.
Most popular: what started as me thinking about Win’s rock t-shirt from ep 11 and then grew from there… - reading a lot into a random Thai ql shirt choice? Me?
Favourite(s): Thoughts on Tinn, his mother, and coming out (part 1, part 2); Thoughts on Tinn, his mother, and music - My first meta ever posted! I keep returning to Tinn and his mother's relationship in My School President...
April [1 meta]
By default, the most popular (and favourite): Gun's feelings are realistic - I love when MSP subverts our expectations
May [13 metas]
Oh damn! This was a big meta month for me. Some of my favourite metas I've ever written were posted this month.
Most popular: The Eighth Sense and Missing Pieces - I am really proud of this one. It also made me laugh that I apologized for the length at the beginning when I would go on to post much, MUCH longer metas.
Favourite(s): Thoughts on genre, tropes, Bad Buddy, and My School President (aka my Bad Buddy and MSP thesis, which began life as a powerpoint presentation... now here's one of those much, MUCH longer metas in question); Wai as a faen fatale (which also began life as part of that same powerpoint presentation and I think perfectly encapsulates my analytical style); Conversations in ITSAY that are about more than they seem (I am really proud of the analysis I did here and the writing style I used to present it). This was also the month in which I started my deeply self-indulgent GMMTV Multiverse project, which later inspired my mission to record all GMMTV kisses.
June [11 metas]
Oh nooo another bunch of my favourites. This is cruel to make me choose.
Most popular: Thinking about Pran's "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me" (I love this one! and this was the first of several times I've gotten to collaborate with the wonderful @dudeyuri)
Favourite(s): An analysis of the baseball mom shirt, Bad Buddy ep. 5 (my entry into the venerable field of Bad Buddy/ql shirt analysis and also encapsulates pretty much everything I try to do in my metas); An impassioned defense of the Bad Buddy ep. 5 rooftop kiss (combines many of my favourite things: reading deeply into the minute details of Bad Buddy, an analytical framework that just clicks itself together as I write, and literature reviews); and Thinking about Snow White as the engineering play, part 1 (shout out to the two other people going ham on Snow White as an allegory during the Our Skyy 2 madness - @chickenstrangers (here) and @letgomaggie (here))
July [3 metas]
Most popular (and favourite): Thinking about Pat, Pran, and pursuit (I think this was my first time articulating the idea of Pat and Pran's commitment to the bit, a concept which continues to circle in my head. This was also another collaboration with the wonderful @dudeyuri!)
August [7 metas]
Here comes Only Friends... and the GMMTV Kissing Multiverse project.
Most popular: GMMTV Kissing Multiverse updates 1, 2 and 3 (this is so much fun to track and analyze, and I've been really touched by everyone else's excitement for the project too); Various thoughts and musings on Only Friends and ephemerality (the Ephemerality Squad assembles!)
Favourite: Thinking about Boston: a study of episode 3 - I find Boston's mind a fascinating place to explore
September [8 metas]
Oh look! It's more Only Friends!
Most popular: Mansplain, Manipulate, Manwhore: Ray confronting Boston - once again, I love getting into Boston's head. This post was inspired by @wen-kexing-apologist's scene breakdowns, especially their Fight Night one
Favourite(s): The above, and also The Mundanity of Meanness
October [5 metas]
Most popular (and favourite): The first fist bump in Bad Buddy - oof. I've gotta come back to this idea sometime.
November [3 metas]
Most popular: The Latest Update to the Kissing Multiverse - the hotly anticipated post-Only Friends update to the kissing charts
Favourite: the kissing charts, and Thinking about Pat, Pran, and competition - again, I love to think about Pat and Pran. I consider this one to be part of an ongoing series, along with my earlier metas on pursuit and the rooftop.
December [1 meta]
Most popular (and favourite): Not Me and earrings - technically an addition on @chickenstrangers' post, but was a relief to get my months old "Not Me is about ears and earrings!" thoughts out.
some no pressure tags: @chickenstrangers, @distant-screaming, @dudeyuri, @neuroticbookworm, @slayerkitty, @telomeke, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles
#bl wrapped#ranch thoughts#honestly all laid out this doesn't seem like a lot. I'm surprised by how much more I wrote in May and June!#fascinating how you - Shan and WKA - also didn't start your meta journeys until a couple of months into 2023
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So I was thinking about another 'nother route for Winnie in the Tara/Enid endgame
Like, Sam is super protective of Tara right? So what if she sees all these weird symptoms happening with Tara and just starts googling the shit out of them
'why is my sister craving raw meat?' 'why does my sister keep stealing the blankets and pillows in the apartment?' 'my sister growled(?) at me, what does that mean?'
ultimately, she finds the answer on some random reddit thread and boy was she apocalyptic
on one hand, she wants to murder enid for getting her sister pregnant but on the other, she doesn't want Tara to go through this alone (even with the help of their friends and herself, Sam thinks her sister would appreciate having the blonde wolf present)
so she tracks the outcast down
enid's sitting alone in the quad, lost in thought and thinking about the misadventure she had in New York with the little found family. she's not really paying attention to anything, so she doesn't take note of the chatter around her dying down or the weird tension that immediately builds up in the air.
it's when a menacing shadow looms over her, followed by a firm hand tightly gripping her shoulder does she pay attention
"take responsibility, asshole!"
Enid flushes, her mind running all over the place as she stated up at Sam.
"wh- what?" she stutters, trying to make everything make sense. Because there's a normie in the school and Sam is implying something.
Sam tightens her grip and places both her hands on enid's shoulder.
"you don't have the right to knock up my sister and dash, Enid!" she scowls. Her words immediately starting up mumbles and chatter around the quad. Yoko herself murming a quick oh snap!
"Tara?" Enid says before immediately bolting upright once her brain registered what the hell she's been hearing. "shes pregnant!?"
Just lots of fumbling with enid nearly tripping out of her chair and quickly dragging Sam away with questions outside the quad.
It leaves a bunch of beffudled outcasts behind.
"so," yoko starts as she sipped on her bag. "doggy got game, didn't know she had it in her to dine and dash."
"yoko!" divina hissed, slapping the vampire in the shoulder.
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I really loved the title of the latest episode, so without further ado let's dive into science and fiction of the TVA. This is all so interesting.
The Loom exploded, apparently annihilating a bunch of timelines that were going through it. And after that went to a fail safe mode, restored and continued to weave like before: see the spinning input ring:
The same ring was moving slow in s2e1:
and completely stuck before the meltdown in s2e4:
Its explosion reset people at the TVA to respective branched timelines. I'm not sure 'the nexus event' is even a thing anymore, but Loki appearing to every one of them could be considered a nexus event if they existed on the Sacred timeline
Quick note before I forget. Time doors and time cubes are of the same nature. I guess if you were somehow to be stuck inside a time door you'd be squished. Another interesting duality of how to use the same tech: to traverse spacetime or to torture and violently kill.
Time cubes are old and have scratchy look, just like the first timedoors OB managed to open. Modern time doors look polished. Probably the old tech was repurposed into torturing devices by Miss Minutes someone else.
AC/DC AD/OB's 'lab':
Is this room safe? For the wormhole or the quantum...?
This hole area is totally abandoned. No one's around for miles
OB, area being abandoned doesn't mean it's safe for any wormholes, especially for any people near it. Not even sure about whatever quantum stuff is going on.
But the building isn't random, the room is the same, just repainted. There's even the same chequered pattern on the floor though really faded. Is the TVA on Earth in a time bubble? The Loom has to be on the same level as R&A, so the TVA founders would expand around that abandoned building.
Which would mean that the infinite city around the TVA is an illusion. Or a side effect of the TVA being in some sort of a time bubble.
The question remains of how the Loom fits in with all of it. We've seen it exist suspended in, again, a seemingly infinite space. Let's say, its very construction can attract and visualise the raw time-matter (I'm still in denial of time being a matter, no matter how much I sciencefiction it in my head). When you look closely you see that timeline threads take shape the closer they are to the input ring of the Loom. But where do the weaved output timelines go? Do they go around, surrounding the TVA in a circle? And then inevitably branch, become formless and chaotic and have to be weaved back again?
Let's imagine that the TVA sits in the centre of time which flows around it and being recycled and reordered so the timelines co-exist without damaging each other. The Loom powers the TVA, and since past, present and future exist all the time, it's a life-long power source, Timely's dream.
That would explain how HWR sits in a castle in the centre of a manufactured, isolated Sacred timeline. His tempad isn't of TVA design. Was he inspired or did he just invade the TVA and steal their concepts and ideas? (Despite being himself involved with the creation of the Loom) Repurposed time doors into time cubes. Reshaped a multiverse protecting team of people into a purely bureaucratic time police.
#loki season 2#loki series#loki spoilers#tva loki#loki ouroboros#loki#loki speculation#loki meta#LWR's theories#he who remains
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"But ever after was unpredictable idea. No one saw it coming! We wouldn't want the audience to be bored!"
I've had multiple people say this and I'm honestly going to throw a little hot take out there - okay so who cares if specific plot elements get guessed? Sure you can blindside the viewers but the audience being able to follow where the story is going (even if the story arrives there first) is...what's good writing all about?
An author isn't there to "beat" the audience. If you set out to write something for no other reason than "oh yessss they'll never see it coming!" You already failed.
Westworld s2 was written with sole focus of making theorycrafting fail because writers were angry fans guessed the twist in S1. It was a mess.
Game of Thrones ran on subverting expectations (coincidentally alongside the infamous "themes are for school reports" quote). And it certainly managed to run the entire cast into the ground so much, that actors still hold genuine disdain for what was done to their characters.
Lost is notable for attempting to "one-up" viewers without really having a plan. JJ Abrams overall is known as "the mystery box guy" who tends to tempt people with "boxes" that either contain nothing or another box inside.
Shyamalan pretty much ran his career into the ground with "twist focus".
Write twists and subvert expectations and all that but having internal logic within narrative that dictates on what is and isn't possible and what each character would or wouldn't do is just...basic necessity.
It's perfectly fine to have specific crucial plot points be something the audience anticipated. Who knew a place named Atlas would struggle with the weight of the world on their shoulders?! Oh wow a protagonist that has been dealing with trauma is traumatized and deals with trauma? Oh wow death flags are real? That's all fine. A character inspired by Greek tragedy suffering similar fate makes sense, a build up to Fall of beacon leading to...well...fall of beacon makes sense. Writing doesn't need to be unpredictable to flow together. You build your house of cards piece by piece.
And RWBY hasn't ever really subverted expectations or did anything truly unpredictable. It just doesn't know what it wants to do next till the writing team just puts something together so even if they tried to be Shyamalan that attempt just isn't there.
Ever After was bad because it was as pointless padding volume, it broke suspension of disbelief completely and it was simply bad. It was a random last minute thing with no internal consistency that they just threw together without any regard of whether it works or what it does to the overall story.
Same with two gods, relics and a bunch of (a lot of) other things.
Sometimes plot threads feel out of place and bad because they outright are.
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“#can someone update me on recent happenings work is killing me rn & I can’t keep up :(” (https://www.tumblr.com/bookshelfdreams/739898589790208000?source=share) okay. SO.billboard: I think the big renewal donation campaign is to buy a billboard in LA or NY or something advertising for renewal, but that’s the least wild news of the last few days
insider trading: apparently zaslav sold a bunch of HBO/Max shares right before the cancellation announcement, which seems suss, as if he’d knew their value would tank after the news (it did drop by like 4 or 7% or something), but I don’t know enough about shares to judge how shady it actually is
GLAAD: OFMD got nominated for an Outstanding Comedy Series GLAAD award (queer rep awards), and the HBO/Max socials have been silent about itlube: Astroglide Lube’s twitter posted "Feeling like I need to go watch Our Flag Means Death?“ (https://x.com/ASTROGLIDE/status/1747321003397800155?s=20), possibly apropos of just hearing about renewal hype, possibly in relation to something, people HAVE taken to tweeting more and more random celebrities/companies to spread the petition; and whoever their social media manager is GLADLY embraced the attention, and the fandom embraced them, and there’s been silly fanart and memes, and the Astroglide twitter is planning a watchalong reaction thread, uh, possibly today
I think the "plushies” reference might be to plushy company Squishable basically doing the same thing - being tweeted at to share the petition, and embracing the attention - but I’m not certain how that one started
internet famous cat Jorts(’s social media manager) reiterated their love of the show (https://twitter.com/JortsTheCat/status/1747869887819845652)
HBO chairman/CEO Casey Bloys in a post-Emmys interview said “I need Gay Twitter to come out and support Gilded Age” (https://au.news.yahoo.com/hbo-casey-bloys-talks-emmy-112944119.html) which of course made gay twitter furious because this was right after the OFMD cancellation, and apparently Gilded Age has, like, one gay character who’s treated about as well as you’d expect, so like. wtf. read the room, mate
In another post-Emmys interview, Bloys said “the numbers weren’t there for a renewal” for OFMD (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/hbo-casey-bloys-emmys-dominance-1235790045/), which is, like. blatantly false by pretty much every metric, so rather shows their arse on just wanting to get rid of the show because it’s too inclusive or something.
OKAY I THINK THAT COVERS IT
-- @cuddlytogas
THANK YOU YOU’RE A LIFE SAVER
I knew about some of these - the billboard and “the numbers weren’t there” and the allegationg of insider trading (that’s my favourite part of this. I hope this reaches critical mass. I hope Zaslav gets prosecuted for this. I don’t even care if he’s found guilty, if he’s innocent, fine, but I want him to stand in front of a judge and explain himself. “The selling of stocks was unrelated, I personally cancelled our network’s most successful running show for different reasons.” “What reasons?” “I hate gay people.” XD)
Anyway, that’s an excellent writeup! I hope you have a spectacular weekend, again tysm!
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🥰 or 😭 or 😵💫 <33333
woe! timbrady be upon ye. this is from a teenage runaway thing i was working on a couple years ago that i'd really love to revisit but unfortunately sort of left my brain in 2022 :/
It’s a nothing night, some random house show with a no-name high school band that was put on by a friend of a friend of a friend who Josh is maybe trying to fuck. Tim agreed to go because he’s seventy percent of Josh’s impulse control, and because if he didn’t, he’d be spending his Friday night fruitlessly dialing Shane for calc answers.
But it’s been an hour and the band’s just started their set, finally, now that everyone’s high enough that the singer’s whispery excuse for vocals sound revelatory instead of shitty. Josh disappeared half an hour ago with the girl, the friend’s friend’s friend, and Tim is standing sort of toward the edge of the crowd, largely uninterested in showing up to practice tomorrow with a bunch of extra bruises from the mosh pit.
He shoves the last of his gas station bag of Ruffles in his mouth, and he pulls out his phone. His messages are barren, Josh having ignored the rosy-cheeked emoji Tim shot him about ten minutes after he vanished. Besides that, the last thing Tim sent anyone was the house’s address, which has likewise gone unanswered. Tim flicks his phone off and slips it back in his pocket, frowning lightly. Pulls it out again unconsciously and feels the crease between his eyebrows deepen when the lock screen still comes up empty.
It’s not like he’d owed a response, obviously, but Tim’s not used to being ignored. For a moment he debates the merits of stepping outside just to leave a voicemail, but he wouldn’t be able to get back inside. Josh got them in the first time, and Tim’s pretty sure plus-ones don’t get priority re-entry.
He’s pulled the thread back up to double-text, because fuck it, honestly, he’s too bored and a little wasted for this, and anyway he has a faint headache coming on, when a voice says, too loud and too close to his ear, “Someone keeping you waiting?”
Tim bites down on a ridiculous grin. “Just this guy. Said he’d meet me here but he’s running late.”
Hands settle on his hips briefly before lifting up and away, rubbing over Tim’s upper arms. “Well that’s rude of him.” Tim can hear his smile. “What an idiot, bailing on a guy like you.”
“Oh yeah? A guy like me, huh?” Tim gives it another second for the incredulous laughter to bubble up, and then he spins around. He is sure his face is ridiculous. He’s smiling incandescently and his cheeks are flushed from the crowd and it’s so good to see Brady that he can barely remember to breathe. “Hey there.”
Brady’s smiling a little dumb and open-mouthed. His eyes are clear. He must have driven here from his parents’ house. “Hey. Sorry about that. Dinner ran late.”
Tim shrugs. His headache’s completely cleared up now and everything. “Just glad you’re here now.”
“Yeah,” Brady says, drawing it out a little and looking around. “This is kinda ass, isn’t it?”
Tim shrugs again. He’s feeling very magnanimous. “You’re just too sober to appreciate it.”
“Don’t actually know if that makes it better.” Brady doesn’t wait for an answer, and Tim doesn’t really want to give one anyway. He’s not sure why he’s defending it. He’s only here for Josh, and it’s not like Josh is around to hear them talking, now. But Brady — and this is why Brady is the best, why Tim texted him to come along instead of Shane or Jacob or, god forbid, Drake — Brady leans in close and breathes hot into Tim’s ear. “You wanna get out of here?” He puts on an affect so it’s a joke.
Tim swallows. His face hurts from smiling. “Where are you gonna take me?”
“Dunno.” Brady’s hands are back on his hips. “I know this real nice place near here, great food, sit-down service.”
“Sounds fancy,” Tim hedges.
“Well,” says Brady. He pulls back so they’re a normal distance apart. A safe distance. “Worth it, for a guy like you.”
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GET TO KNOW THE MUN
𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 ?
as far as canons go, they are my lil glorbo's. i have a thing for main characters, especially underrated main characters. naruto and atsushi are just my lil guys that i heavily relate to in one aspect or another. i'm writing an alt verse of atsushi but i love atsushi's character in general ( i've considered adding his canon self ) john has been a recent add to this blog and just...i really love FAITH, the game hits all the good religious trauma / horror notes for me. i love a priest who is dabbling with his faith and loyaltys. as for my oc's well, some of them i've had for years ( dom and mia ) but a lot of them are new since i made this blog and i love each of them differently but deeply.
𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 ?
i'm pretty down for most genres. there are some tropes / writing themes i'm not into like pregnancy threads ( i could make an exception for mia ) and obviously gross shit like incest / pro-ship stuff makes me sick. heavy no. otherwise i'm pretty open to things like horror, comedy, romance, dark themes, religious themes.
𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 ?
i love writing romance and i'm tired of being made to feel sorry for it. of course i love writing angst, familial things as well but i really enjoy romance. i am a hopeless romantic in real life so, i just love shipping and the different dynamics that come with that. i love writing religious themes and general horror. i love writing characters who are total opposites it's just super fun.
𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ?
mostly at random. i'll see something in a movie or have a random thought and it leads to other thoughts and boom headcanons. my muses just give me vibes on things and it stems from that...idk i dont have a system LOL
𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 ?
music. i gotta have music. even a yt video in the background works but i gotta have noise. lmao.
𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 ?
mostly wing them. plotted things i have a little bit of an idea how things will go but i'd say 99% of shit i write is never plotted so, it's all me just winging it. i don't really enjoy super plotted threads tbh cause then it feels like i'm just coloring in the numbers ? i like things to be a little loose and free.
𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 ?
yes very much. but not just romantic. platonic and familial is good too. <3
𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐬 / 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 ?
salem ~
𝐚𝐠𝐞 ?
i am 28 *cries*
𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 ?
october 1st, libra gang
𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫 ?
pink, blue, black
𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?
next. lmao how am i supposed to pick favorite songs of all time ? smh.
𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 ?
scream 6
𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 ?
i'm not sure ? probably one of the 4 anime i'm watching rn
𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 ?
moving out - kacey musgraves
𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 ?
potatoes, seafood, ramen, sushi, chicken ( mostly fried chicken or wings ), pasta, chocolate and a bunch of stuff i love food i love eating out at a good restaurant.
𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 ?
fall, it's the best season. i don't mind early summer either but august is too fucking hot. i hate winter . . . i got seasonal depression and i live in midwest hell so winters are terrible here.
𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 ?
would have to be @aeviare who is on hiatus rn but she's my babe. lmao. we met on tumblr rp in 2020 and i've flown to see her multiple times and talk every day so. but other than tiff i'm not sure ? sighs. i'm very shy and i do love getting to know my rp friends but sometimes conversations just die and i'm horrible at reaching out. i'm just . . . i'm a shy lil guy okay i'm trying to be better but. (: personally i consider all my mains good friends but idk if they would say the same so. shrugs.
tagged by: @blaecdog
tagging: @mythcaels, @metrictita, @fangier, @mundanemiseries
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What's the point of taking down Kiwi Farms? It's just going to move to Tor and cause the same problems
In short
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk7bZ9RjzYE
Getting shunted to the deep web means that when people google random trans celebrities, their kiwi farms thread isn't in the first page. It means that when someone tries to link to a kiwi farms thread, it comes up with an error unless you're using the TOR browser or another site that can read onion links.
And most people can't be bothered doing that. Stormfront was shunted top the deep web and we don't talk about it any more because it's just a bunch of losers malding under the floorboards.
Putting even the smallest roadblocks to access a website in the way cuts their potential viewerbase significantly. Hell just getting delisted from search engines does it.
Furthermore, the deep web is regularly monitored by authorities, because everyone knows what goes on there.
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santana lopez has adhd (part 1)
^the adhd/lesbian flags^
(*disclaimer: i have adhd myself and work in education/educational psychology, which is the basis of this post in which i get wayyyyy too analytical about a fictional character; however, i'm not a psychiatrist or doctor and am not qualified to diagnose real people with adhd or anything else ... seriously, our only representation is cis white boys whose adhd is an explanation for them being the class clown and treated as a joke so please don't get salty at me for claiming a fictional character that isn't a cis white boy as part of the adhd gang)
(credit to @dojasrivera on twitter for making the og adhd!santana thread; i unfortunately wasn't able to see it as i only found out about it after their original twitter account got suspended but there may be some overlap between their thread and this post)
this ended up being really long and tumblr cut me off so there is going to be a part 2
impulsiveness - let's get this one out of the way first since this is obviously really central to santana's character; she has a tendency to just kind of say whatever she thinks in the moment without thinking about the consequence and it often gets her into trouble. she also just does random shit like try to get into a physical altercation with lauren zizes who is in the wrestling team, and later move into kurt and rachel's apartment completely out of the blue and go through their stuff for some bizarre reason (which is funny in a tv context but also like ... santana wtf don't go through their stuff).
difficulty initiating and maintaining friendships - santana has maybe 2 secure close friendships throughout the series (brittany and mercedes) and even then there are some complications; brittany because they're in love with each other, and even mercedes competed with santana over puck (ew) but that was resolved by the end of the episode. all of santana's other female friendships (except tina but they're not really all that close and even they have a one-sided feud in season 4 where surprisingly santana is the unbothered one) appear to be sources of stress and anxiety for her because they revolve around competing (see her storyline with rachel from 5x09-5x13). it's also established that santana is close friends with quinn throughout the series (even if they have a tendency to compete with each other) but santana says in 5x10 that quinn doesn't live too far away from her and yet she never makes the effort to see her, even though they ended their senior year relatively amicably. she's way more forgiving of other people than she's given credit for, but she just craves acceptance and friendship from this bunch of misfits so much and is really insecure about whether or not she has it.
rejection sensitive dysphoria - this could literally describe like 90% of her interactions with people (mostly people that aren't brittany). the entire pezberry feud is essentially santana experiencing rsd around her friendship (or lack thereof) with rachel and then doubling down on rachel's expectations of her to save face. another example is in 2x20 when kurt wins prom queen and santana's immediate first thought is "everyone hates me". this post from themostrandomfandom suggests that santana has an anxious attachment type. even in some of her interactions with brittany, she's anxious about their relationship and needs reassurance ("you didn't say you love me back" in 2x18, "are we dating or what" in 3x04).
disorganisation - santana's bedroom (see 2x15 and 4x04) and locker (see the scene in 3x22 with her mom) are both literal disaster zones, and according to brittany, her car would qualify her to be on "whoreders" (honestly same)
difficulty with time management (chronic lateness) - "i like to make an entrance" aka she lost track of time and knew she was going to be late so she planned it (credit: @smolbrittana on instagram)
emotional reactivity and difficulty with emotional regulation - santana has very visceral reactions to all emotions, positive and negative (see this post by themostrandomfandom) (see this post by drshebloggo); she's very easily affected by external stimuli (e.g. the scene in 1x03 when she gets her tanning privileges revoked). she feels her emotions really intensely and it takes her a long time to calm down. she has rage (and of course i'm obligated to include this awesome compilation by literallylebanese). in the hurt locker scene (2x15), santana articulates really well that she has so many big feelings that she doesn't know what to do with so the only thing she can do about them is lash out at other people. it's also worth noting that santana is extremely defensive and reactive in her social interactions with others; she's very rarely the one to "shoot first" (for lack of a better term) and a lot of her lashing out against her peers (i.e. getting revenge on finn/quinn in 2x12, her interactions with rory in 3x04/3x06, most of her interactions with rachel in 5x09-5x12, her monologue to kurt in 6x03) are in response to perceived wrongdoing/criticism/rejection (i'm not justifying these but context and motivation matters). she also has really visceral reactions to positive emotions; her whole face just instantly lights up when brittany smiles at her or touches her or someone compliments her.
poor financial management skills - homegirl literally blew half of her college fund on post-breakup retail therapy (maribel lopez seriously i love you but why would you just hand this child a cheque if you knew she was getting a scholarship)
impulsiveness around romantic relationships - u-haul lesbian jokes aside, santana moves very fast with dani, calling dani her girlfriend within like 5 seconds of meeting her, it's unclear when she and dani officially break up (my headcanon is that things went somewhat sour after dani voted to kick santana and rachel out of pamela lansbury, especially based on what we know about santana and her feelings of anxiety around real and/or perceived rejection, but i guess we'll never know). it's possible that dani may have been a hyperfixation.
poor adult interactions/distrust in authority - homegirl has this in spades; her abuela literally threatens to beat her up with a chair and tried to sell her once, and sue mistreats all the cheerleaders on a regular basis. even will schuester who she says she likes kicks her out of glee club, refuses to defend her and pushes for her to get suspended after the finn incident (as does shelby corcoran), and shames her for reporting his subpar teaching, so that's educational trauma on top of that and she has a tendency to challenge them, mr schuester especially.
compulsive fidgeting - often has a nail file or one of brittany's funky pens, also often fidgets with her hands when she's nervous - mostly around her britt-britt (see also)
extroverted introvert - santana is simultaneously brash and outspoken while also being bashful and socially awkward (see her interactions in 5x02 with dani)
(part 2)
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IDK IF YOU’RE STILL DOING THIS BUT!
How would wolfstar act during Barbenheimer? Who wants to see what? How are they dressed?
EEEEEEE i am ALWAYS doing these ALWAYS i love them so much 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 ((i have some unanswered ones in my inbox i promise im getting to don’t worry 💕💓💞💖))
okay first off we’ve established that they’re both insufferable wanna-be film critics & everyone hates them for it. so keep that in the background. they’re annoying as hell.
so they get wind of oppenheimer first. the teaser plays at a midnight screening of “nope” ((sirius is a jordan peele stan)) and it’s just a bunch of fire and black and white shots of cillian murphy so they’re both like “🙂 huh okay fun.” but then christopher nolan’s name is on the screen and sirius is nearly flying out of his seat bc he’s potentially the world’s biggest chris nolan stan. and he’s hitting remus on the arm and he’s all “👹 FUC K! !!!” and remus is like “oh good another nolan movie that’ll be fun love that” and enduring sirius’ semi-quiet fangirl moment but then he catches on to what the trailer is actually about and “oppenheimer” comes on the end card and then he’s ALSO having a freakout moment & he’s all “oh fuck 😧😧😧 oh fuck it’s oppenheimer 🫢 oh fuck 😵 oh fuck cheistopher nolan’s doing oppenheimer 😵💫😵 oh god.”
so for the next couple of months they’re both telling all their friends “yes so we’ve heard the inside scoop about nolan’s new film, very ambitious, word on the street is that it’s all practical & the b*mb isn’t CGI” and “did u know that christopher nolan himself created an atom b*mb on set to 1/36th scale” like they’re just making shit up from these random reddit threads & illegitimate news sites and everyone’s like “yeah great okay sure no one cares 🙄”
but then fall rolls around & remus overhears someone on the actual street talking on the phone about a barbie movie. and he does a little google and there it is, greta gerwig is doing a barbie movie with margot robbie, and holy shit sirius is going to freak ((he’s also a greta gerwig stan, they both are, obvi. sirius’ favorite of hers is ladybird and remus’ fav is little women, also obvi)). remus makes the mistake of sending sirius the article ab the movie in a text instead of in person where he could have done some damage control and he immediately gets a facetime where sirius just screeches at him for a good three and a half minutes before a single coherent word comes out of his mouth. so yes, he’s very excited for barbie, and remus is excited for greta gerwig to make everyone cry over a doll.
so they know about the movies separately and then the barbenheimer phenomenon takes over, and they become aware that not only are both movies coming out in july, they’re coming out on the same fucking day. and when they find this out they’re at home on separate sides of the apartment and marlene texts in the gc like “are we doing barbenheimer weekend orrrr” and they both take a minute to catch up but then they’re meeting in the living room like WHATTTTT😵😵😵😵😵😵
they plan a whole weekend. on saturday morning remus gets up early and makes waffles in the heart-shaped waffle maker sirius found months ago specifically for barbenheimer weekend breakfast and even puts red food coloring in the batter so they’re pink hearts with whipped cream and cherries to top it all off. and they do black coffee to drink because it gives oppenheimer vibes & they couldn’t think of anything else appetizing to go with it in a breakfast scenario.
they’re going comfort over style for the premiere bc they’re ab to be at the theater for like seven or eight hours, but sirius is wearing a hot pink malibu barbie baby tee for the occasion. remus is ✨not✨ wearing hot pink bc he’s a ✨warm autumn✨ & it’s ✨not✨ his color but he made sure sirius took one of his sweaters bc he always gets cold at movies and complains he’s freezing until remus gives him his own & that is “not happening this time, sirius, get your own fucking sweater.”
they’re doing barbie first. they got the tickets the second they went on sale, two seats in the middle of the row ⅔ of the way back into the theater bc that’s where sound designers sit for screenings & it’s a perfect view. they get their giant sodas and a big popcorn to share, plus some m&ms they snuck in to do an m&m/popcorn mix ((god tier movie snack fr)). they’re enraptured from the very first scene. giant barbie on a desert background. barbieland. the dream house. ryan gosling. all of it. it’s a masterpiece. they both cry at the end & they’re caught off guard bc wtf this wasn’t supposed to be about mothers??? what the hell???
they have a forty-five minute break between movies where they recover in the lobby for a while & refill the popcorn, but they’re getting one water bottle to share this time bc bathroom breaks are not an option & oppenheimer has like a three and a half hour fucking runtime. like they’re doing bathroom breaks twenty seconds before the movie starts bc missing part of this film would actually destroy them psychologically
they do it in IMAX, obvi, ⅔ back in the middle of the row. it’s an out of body experience. they don’t speak or move the entire time. they don’t speak or move while the credits play. they leave the theater in silence. they go home and sit on the couch and stare at the wall and remus goes “we……we should have seen barbie last.” and then they both look at each other like 😐👀? and then they’re getting up and rushing back to the theater and seeing barbie again
the next day they’re getting together with all their friends to do barbenheimer day 2 and trying not to spoil it but they’ve already talked to each other about the individual movies too much, like they laid in bed and talked about the fucking movies like idiots for multiple hours, so they need new feedback to talk over & correct everyone’s wrong opinions
and like obviously everyone hates them
#u ask tortoise answers#anon#tortoise writes a novel ab an ask for no reason#i just saw barbie today#cried my fuckin head off
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Home - Vash
hm are any of us surprised i churned this out at 1 am because i binged this show and couldn’t sleep? no? me neither
Anyway, *SPOILERS* ahead for Trigun Stampede (I’d say if you’ve seen episode 8 you’re safe), but nothing too crazy. This takes place in one of the random 150 years of Vash’s adventures. Enjoy Vash finding out he’s allergic to lavender and being the best boy ☺️
Also, sorry if some of these characters don’t act very canon. I’ve only seen Trigun Stampede and not the original or the manga and thus am kinda guesstimating how these characters would act in this scenario
Vash hasn’t visited Home in nearly twenty years. Even though time doesn't really have any meaning to him, it does to the people he cares about, so he can’t help but feel a little guilty as he approaches the ship. He knows he should come by more often to visit, and that Brad and Luida and the rest of the Home team would love to see him, but he can’t help but feel like a burden every time he does.
His cybernetic arm is hanging by little more than a thread, torn apart in a recent brawl over yet another plant that he’d only narrowly managed save. He’s exhausted. His arm hangs uselessly at his side, only jolting with the occasional shocking twitch.
To his luck, Brad and Luida are out of cryosleep and both wrap him up in a warm embrace as he walks through the ship’s doors, nearly sweeping him off his feet.
“Vash!” They both cry. Warmth spreads through Vash’s chest as Brad ruffles his hair and Luida buries her face in his shoulder. He remembers the days when he used to look up at them as a child, but now he towers over them.
“How have you been? Are you all right? We were hoping to see you this time when we woke up,” Luida says. She looks older, maybe in her late 40s now, and Brad looks about the same. Their hair is beginning to become streaked with white, and deep wrinkles have already set across their faces. It’s part of the reason he hates coming back here, to see them getting older while he stays eternally young.
“I’m okay, I missed you both. Have you been well?” Even though his arm is killing him, he doesn’t want to bring it up yet. He’s too wrapped up in the feeling of being welcomed home and seeing friendly faces, seeing the pride and affection and love in their eyes. If only he could bottle up this feeling and take it with him.
“Yes, we’ve been— Christ, Vash, what’ve you done to your arm this time?” Brad finally takes notice when a spark of electricity spikes off his arm. He gently picks up the appendage, turning it over in his hands with a practised grace.
“Ah-ha, well, about that…” He grins sheepishly, cheeks burning red as he scratches the back of his head. “I saved the hand this time, though!”
Brad rolls his eyes and starts walking towards his room, waving him along. “C’mon, I’ve got my tools in your room, as usual. Luida, we’ll be done in time for dinner.”
“Don’t take too long! I want to catch up with Vash too!” Luida calls after them. Vash turns to give her a beaming smile and a wave goodbye before following Brad down the hall.
It feels so good to be Home.
A couple of hours later and lots of admonishing from Brad, Vash’s arm is beginning to regain feeling again.
“You should go out into the garden and see the new flora that Luida has been working on,” Brad tells him as he’s bent over his forearm. He’s just putting on the last of the stabilising touches to make it “Vash-proof”, as he calls it.
“There’s this new one called lavender. It’s got a long, thin stem and purple bunches of petals at the top. The humans on Earth used to use it for its calming effects. Smells great too. Go check it out, but make sure you’re back in time for dinner.”
One more flourish with welding tool, and he’s done. Brad pushes himself out of the chair, swiping his palms together. “And take better care of that arm!”
Vash chuckles, flexing his left hand. The joints feel better already. “Thank you, Brad. I’ll go take a look.”
He slides into his coat and follows Brad out of the room before making his own way down to the garden. The path is so familiar to him, he could do it with his eyes closed.
The garden looks gorgeous as it always has. It’s sunset now, creating a golden, rose-tinted shadow across the flora. He walks down the stone path, taking note of the new blue flora popping up, a new tree that's grown, before he finds the lavender that Brad had been speaking about.
Huh, Vash hadn’t expected it to look like that. It looks more like a bush or a tumbleweed than an actual flower. He bends down to get a closer look.
The purple petals are so stunning that he almost doesn’t notice the itch blossoming in his nose. He reaches his hand out to touch the stem, then feels the soft petals with the pad of his finger. Ah, that’s the scent that Brad mentioned. He loves it. It smells light and clean.
He rubs at his nose as he bends closer to the plant. He doesn’t dare break off a stem to get it closer to his face, so instead he crouches into a squat to lean forward and smell it.
It does feel calming. Vash can see why the humans on Earth liked it so much. Craving more, he inhales deeply through his nose just as the itch becomes too much to bear—
“Hih’iTSHhh! Hh.. H’TSCHhh!” The two sneezes catch him by surprise. He has to catch himself on the ground to avoid losing his balance.
Shaking his head, he sniffles and paws at his nose, which is beginning to take on a pink flush. How strange, he thinks. Must be something in the air. Usually only dust and the desert sand makes him sneeze, but there’s none of that in here.
He wants to sniff the lavender again and reaches out to feel the petals, but the itch has buried itself deeper in his nose. His breath catches in his chest, his aquamarine eyes slipping shut as his lips draw back over his teeth—
“H’TSH’itsch! Hh.. hihh— h’ITSCHhh’ue! Hh’eHTSSHhh’iu!” The last sneeze is so forceful that it makes him lose his balance. He falls back on his ass and tumbles flat on his back. His glasses are askew on his pink, irritated nose. Allergic tears fill his eyes as he stares up at the rose sunset sky.
Can he be allergic to flora? Or perhaps it’s this one in particular? He’s never had such a reaction to flora before, even in Rem’s garden.
Vash sniffles and rubs at his nose, which has now started to run. Instead of abating the itch, it only serves to set him off again— “H’ITSHhhiew! Haah.. heh-hh! H’ihdTSShh!”
It must be the lavender that's causing this. He can’t help but feel a bit sad, because he had really liked the scent of the lavender. Maybe Luida will have some medicine to offset the symptoms.
He lays there on the ground for a while, staring up at the sky, feeling a swirl of melancholy and happiness in his chest. Those two emotions seem to be the familiar, funny feeling that he always carries with him, even when he's back on the ship.
He stays there, sneezing occasionally and sniffling, until Luida calls for him for dinner. She chides at him for laying on the ground and says he’ll catch a cold like that, which makes him grin. He lets her shoo him inside and down the corridor towards the dining hall. Vash can’t help but revel in the tenderness he feels at her gentle reprimands, the way she fixes his hair or dusts off his coat or gives him one last hug before they enter the dining hall, because it all feels like Home.
#how many times did you watch the clips of vash sneezing to get inspiration Finn? yes#I hope this is good but if it isn't well. this is all I got#im so tired lmfao but I wanted to do this bc if I do a fic like this when i'#when I'm fresh and not tired then it'll be too Long and we all know how I like to ramble in fics. this is the shortest fic I've ever#written and it feels wrong#anyway#my writing#snzfic#I hope I captured vash's sweetness but also his undeniable sadness bc that's what I fucking feel after finishing the show#can a plant be allergic to a plant? Idk! but he is!#I mean like lavender barely counts and anyway its so specific and fragrant that I figured why not right#I kinda feel like vash would like being allergic tho bc it means like.... idk I have this theory that he wants to be human in some way#or like wants to be more connected to humans#so being allergic to flowers would make him happy bc it means he'd be more alike humans if that makes sense? but idk I don't want to push#a million theories into a snzfic im just here for a good time#if I open this tomorrow morning and reread it and think it sucks im going to die#enjoy the one allergy fic I post a decade guys
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