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#it's just so sad being unhappy by the place you live in. you can't be happy if your surroundings are always bringing you down
margotw10bis · 2 months
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Pretty Baby.KNJ [m]
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sugardaddy!namjoon x sugarbaby!reader
Genre: smut; short-story
Words: 4.9k
Synopsis: Namjoon is your sugar daddy. However, you can't deny how your heart is jumping in your chest when he calls you his "pretty baby"…
Warnings: rough sex; unprotected sex; anal sex; first anal; oral sex (f. receiving); Namjoon is huge 😳; he loves ass; use of "daddy"
1 → 2 → 3 (Bonus : Memories ; Doubts & Possibilities)
What just happened? Namjoon is so shocked about your demand that he just stays still for several minutes. He has never imagined, in a thousand years, that you, his pretty baby, would put an end at your relationship like that. Were there signs he didn't see? Were you unhappy? He genuinely thought that you liked spending time with him, especially since he started to make efforts to know you better. He even thought that you liked him. But you obviously don't.
He wanted to tell you to change your mind, to think about it, that he could change if you wanted him to, but it would have been selfish. It was already too damn selfish willing to keep you for himself when he was fucking other girls — even if he doesn't anymore.
He thought that something changed the last time you two had sex. It was different, more real. Did he imagine everything? It looks like it since you just stepped out of his office after throwing a bomb at him. Fuck. But then, why would you look so sad? Everything is messed up in his head, he can't think straight.
More than the surprise caused by your announcement, Namjoon feels something truly unpleasant in his chest and he wishes it was just his ego. But it's not. He knows damn well it's his heart. Once again: fuck.
————
"I don't understand you, honestly" Jimin sighs
Yeah, you neither. You regret so, so much what you did yesterday. You clearly let Lisa messing up with your brain. You should have trusted Namjoon rather than her. You were so afraid of being hurt that you pushed him away and you hurt yourself instead. That's fucking stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
"I don't need you to tell me I've fucked up, Jimin. I need you as my best friend to support me and tell me everything is going to be fine" You say with a shaky voice, ready to start crying, again
"Come here" He whispers to hug you and rub your back
"Can I stay here tonight?"
"Of course you can. We are going to watch your favorite show on Netflix and eat some pizzas. How does it sound?"
You look at your best friend and feel so damn lucky to have him. You rub your eyes to get rid off the last tears and get the TV remote.
In another part of the town, Namjoon opens the door of the apartment. Your apartment. He can't just give up like that, without even fighting. But the place is desperately empty. No lights on, no noise. You are simply not here. He still has a ridiculous slight hope when he opens the door of your bedroom. Yet, your face is no where to be seen. Namjoon's heart squeezes. Where the fuck are you?
He is not sure you will show up tonight so he decides to leave and go meet his parents. Maybe he could use some advices from a 40-year married couple.
Namjoon's mom is super excited to see her busy son. It's pretty rare he comes eat with them. But her smiles fades when she notices the look on his face. He looks tired and sad. Defeated. It breaks her heart to see him like this.
They sit in the comfortable and huge sofas of the living room. Every single furniture of their mammoth house is expensive. Namjoon's parents love buying costly things but also giving their money to people who need it. Maybe that's why Namjoon doesn't have any problem with spoiling his sugar babies.
"Can I ask you guys something?" He asks, unsure
"Of course, honey" His mom says
"How did you become a couple? Was it easy?"
His parents share a glance, half surprised half amused. Namjoon has never wanted to hear about love before.
"It was certainly not easy" His dad starts "Your mom is pretty stubborn. I gave her many presents, expensive jewelries and so on. But she didn't care at all. I honestly thought she wasn't interested"
"I didn't care about the money. I cared about him and his feelings. You know, love is not just words but acts too. However, the acts don't have to take the material form of gifts" The woman continues
"So how?" Namjoon asks
"Spending time with each other. Small acts of consideration. Actually, the best acts of love are the simplest ones because they show how sincere you are and that you care about the small details" Her mom answers
Namjoon takes a few moments to think about it. He has shown his affection with presents. Expensive ones, even. But you, you are full of those simple acts of consideration his mom is describing. You made sure he wasn't tired or that he ate well. You changed your shampoo when you noticed Namjoon's scrunched nose at the smell of it even if he didn't say anything about not liking it. You distracted him with a mind-blowing blowjob on the day he lost a huge contract. Fuck, everything you have done the past few months was little acts that made him slowly fall in love with you. But maybe you didn't think Namjoon cared about you too.
"Is this about the girl from the mall?" Namjoon's mom asks carefully
"Yeah, but I'm not sure she really wants to be with me" He replies honestly
"I think she does. The look she was giving you, it doesn't lie, honey"
Those words are what Namjoon needed. Now, he has to find a way to see you again.
————
You have thought about it all day. Should you? It's Namjoon's birthday and you were invited by his mom. But it's also true that you told him you wanted to end things... However, you miss him so bad and it has only been five days.
You check yourself in the mirror. Yes, you have thought about not going but you have still gotten ready. Your heart beats so loud that you wonder how it is not showing through the soft material of your white silk dress — great metaphor of your willing to go back from the start and start on a new page.
It's Namjoon's birthday. And you miss him. And you love him. The only thing holding you back is you and your fear of being hurt. Are going to stay alone your entire life because of that? That would be so pathetic. Fuck, Namjoon gave you so much confidence, where did it go? You would be so disappointed in yourself if you don't at least try. So you fix your mascara for the last time and head to Namjoon's party.
The house is way bigger than you thought, especially because it's in Seoul center. You can't imagine the price of it. You knock on the front door and a fucking butler invites you inside. You are stressed, you can feel your hands shaking. Thankfully, there are no too many people — you guess just family and close friends. That makes you wonder what you are doing here. Everyone is so elegant and, even if you have put on one of your most beautiful dresses, you don't seem to belong here.
"Boring party, isn't it?"
You jolt as a male voice whispers in your ear. You turn your head and meet some very handsome man. He could easy be elected World Wide Handsome. His brown hair looks smooth and his eyes are sparkling with playfulness. Let's not talk about his juicy and plump lips. Fuck, every women must be jealous of it.
On the other side, the stranger is quite amused by your shyness. He also wonders what such a pretty girl is doing it. If his friend Namjoon has you as a friend, Seokjin would be upset and disappointed that he didn't introduce you to him before. Yes, the man is a womanizer but a very picky one: he seems to date only the most beautiful women.
"I'm Seokjin by the way"
"Y/N" You reply, shyly
Seokjin's eyes widen. Are you Y/N? Like the woman his friend can't shut up about lately? Oh, things are about to get interesting... Now he understands Namjoon. You look very pretty in that dress, almost a sexy version of a cute bride. Yep, Namjoon will go crazy when he sees you and the slight shadow of your nipples through the thin and smooth fabric. But for now, he is not here and Seokjin is a flirt.
"I'm honored to meet the most beautiful woman of the night" He says with a seductive tone
You don't really know what to say so you just thank him. Is he flirting? Oh my god, how are you going to escape him?
"It's the glass I wanted to bring to my friend but I rather offer it to a pretty girl" He continues, handing you a glass of champagne
You take it. You need alcohol to gather your courage, especially if Namjoon tells you to go fuck yourself after what happened in his office. You drink the glass one shot.
"Well! You go faster than Dom Toretto!" Seokjin jokes, laughing so loud than a few people turn toward you
His laugh also attracts Namjoon's eye. However, he doesn't see his friend. The only thing that seems to be visible to him is you. You came. And you look so fucking gorgeous. Namjoon recognizes the silk dress, it was his birthday gift for you. It looks so good on you that Namjoon's brain starts picturing you in all kinds of situations — both with and without the dress on. He wonders if it's the kind of dress you would wear for your wedding day. And after your marriage, what you would look like with a baby in your belly, his baby. How proud he would be to have you by his side and how everyone could see you belong to him.
Okay, his brain is definitely sick because those are ridiculous thoughts. You said you didn't want this relationship with him. But, what are you doing here?
Namjoon walks toward you and your heart stops when you see him. He is the definition of handsomeness. And he is wearing a fucking black — Prada it seems — suit with a white shirt. It's the look you prefer on him. This is torture for you, especially if it's the last time you see him.
"Hi" You almost whisper
"Hi" His voice is neutral and you don't know if it's a good thing "Can I talk to you, in private?"
You gulp and nod. Fuck, you are stressing so much. He invites you to follow him and he leads you to his bedroom. A huge place actually with not only a king size bed but also a sofa and a large bookshelf. All the furnitures are matching, even the pattern of the fabric. The color scheme, warm beige with hints of green here and there, is soothing — something you really appreciate right now.
There are so many things you want to say but nothing seems to form on your tongue. You can't look at him. You are so overwhelmed by your feelings that you could cry.
"I'm surprised you're here" Namjoon says
There is no reproach in his voice, he is just sincerely surprised. You can understand. But is it a good or a bad thing?
"I can leave if you want"
'But please don't say you want me to leave' You pray internally
"No, I'm actually glad you're here"
Your heart does a backflip in your chest and you look at him with hope.
"I'm so sorry for what I've said" You say as you are gathering all your courage "I don't want to end the contract"
"But I do"
Your whole body freezes. Your heart stops too, in a painful way. It hurts so bad, like your soul is torn apart. So that's it. It's the end for Namjoon and you. Fuck, you wish you could go back and never went to his office. You would do anything to go back in time.
A breathless 'Oh' leaves your lips, like you have received an uppercut in the stomach — well, it's pretty much what you feel.
Namjoon gets closer and notices your eyes watering. Words are not enough to express what he is feeling so he does what he does best. He captures your lips and kisses you deeply. You moan both in surprise and pleasure. You don't know what the kiss means but you are ready to take whatever he is giving to you if it's the last time you see him.
Namjoon wraps his arms around your small frame. The silk of the dress is so smooth under the tip of his fingers, but not as smooth as your skin. His hands go down and find your ass. He makes sure to lift the fabric and digs his palms into the flesh of your asscheeks. The cold air on your hot skin makes you gasp in pleasure. He growls as he missed it so much.
You pull him closer by grabbing the back of his neck. His lips travel down your jaw and then to the thin skin of your throat. His wet kisses make you shiver and create a pool of arousal between your legs, especially when Namjoon sucks on your skin. A reddish mark adores your neck. Namjoon smiles at it. You are so beautiful, you can't go out without a stamp of him.
Namjoon doesn't stop. He firmly grabs your ass and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his torso and secure your arms around his large shoulders. You are now higher than him and it gives him the opportunity to dig his face into your breasts. He messily kisses your boobs and captures your harden nipples with his teeth through the fabric of the dress. Namjoon smirks when he notices you don't wear a bra and bites your nipple a little harder, making you whimper. Your head rolls back and you arch your back to give him a better access.
Your soaked pussy also needs friction so you start grinding on his abs. You need him so bad. You are stressed and horny when you think about what you are going to do.
Namjoon walks to his bed and sits on it, you still inside his arms. The new position makes it easier for you to grind on his lap. You can clearly feel his hard-on against your clothed cunt. You tug on his hair to access his lips and you kiss him like there is no tomorrow.
"Damn, baby, you're on fire" He jokes against your lips
"I want you" You moan, there is no better way to say the truth
You pull off and stand up between his muscled legs. You can see lust in Namjoon's brown eyes but also some affection in them. It gives you confidence to carry on. You take off your dress and the sight of your body almost completely bare makes Namjoon's cock twitch in his pants. He can't help but caress himself through the fabric, and his dick gets even harder. You slid down your ridiculously small and wet panties to stand entirely exposed in front of him. You finally take off your heels, your feet thanking you for that. You feel fragile but also proud to have the courage to completely give yourself to the man you love. You will have nothing to regret, even if tonight is the last night you'll ever spend together.
Your breathe is shaky and your hands are sweaty. Fuck, stress makes your legs weak but you have made up your mind way before entering Namjoon's parents' house. You are prepared, both mentally and physically for what is coming. You now have to trust yourself and Namjoon. You turn around and give Namjoon a perfect view of your ass he loves so much. You slightly bend over so he can see both your holes. Your pussy is so wet that Namjoon's breathe on it makes you clench.
"Fuck, baby" Namjoon whispers as it was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen
"It's your birthday present" You say shyly
Namjoon is taken aback. Is it what he is thinking about?
"What do you mean?" He asks, clearing his throat — he wants to be sure he is not over-interpreting
You take a deep breathe and reply.
"You can have my ass tonight"
It's like a dream came true for Namjoon. He has been dreaming about it for months. Your perfect ass. He wanted to stretch it every time he squeezed your cheeks. It must be so fucking tight. Just thinking he will finally be able to dive in it could be enough to make him cum in his pants.
He doesn't waste any time and starts licking your glistening pussy. You moan about how starved he looks. He is literally making out with your pussy and it's so fucking hot. His tongue rolls on your clit, then digs in your entrance to go back to your clit again. It's so good that your legs quiver. At some point, Namjoon takes a fat licking from your sensitive bud to your pussy entrance but continues higher to your other hole.
You whimper as Namjoon takes big laps of it. The new sensation is beyond words. You feel way more sensitive. You have to grab his hair behind you when he enters your pussy with two fingers, still wetting your puckered hole. Namjoon's face is so deep between your asscheeks that it's scandalous but fuck it feels good.
He leaves your hole one second to bite on the flesh of your perfect ass. His fingers pumping into your dripping cunt are delightful, especially when he goes deep and fast, making your legs weak. You can feel some arousal going down your inner thighs.
"Keep going, I'm gonna cum" You moan
Seeing you liking it makes Namjoon so fucking happy. He could eat your ass all day. Your hole is damn soaked right now and Namjoon starts entering it with his tongue. You're so sensitive, you're not sure to can handle it. Namjoon speeds it pace in your pussy and you almost scream. You tighten your fingers in his hair, bringing him deeper against your ass and he growls. Your pussy clenches and Namjoon digs his tongue further in your hole, almost not able to breathe. You know how sinful you look but fuck, Namjoon is tonguing your ass. The wave of bliss you know well in growing inside you but there is something different, something that makes it more powerful and your teased area is more sensitive. You can't hold any longer and you cum on his face and fingers. Choked screams of his name escape from your lips. Namjoon grabs you in his arms to prevent you from falling.
He puts you on his bed delicately as you're coming back down to Earth. He lets you rest a little and take off his clothes.
"Are you sure you want this?" He asks you, kissing your lips tenderly
"Yes, just be gentle" You say
You are crushing everything in him right now. The trust you put in him doesn't only fill his pride but also his heart. He promises: he is going to fuck your ass so good that you won't ever want him to stop.
"Tell me if you want to stop, okay baby?"
He kisses your forehead and spoons you. You feel his large and buff chest against your back but the way he holds you is so sweet that you push your ass closer to his cock with an urged need of feeling him. He places your upper leg a little forward to have a better access to your ass. He also makes sure to bring a good amount of your juices to your hole and to his large cock to lube them.
"I'm going to stretch you a little, I don't want to break you" He whispers in your ears "Yet" He adds playfully to make you laugh
Namjoon slowly pushes one finger in your so tight hole and you gasp. You hold on his other arm wrapped around your waist. He softly starts back and forth moves. It hurts a little but it's also so fucking good.
"Try to relax, it will hurt less" Namjoon says as he pecks your shoulder
You do as he says and you notice how easier it makes for him to finger you. He adds other finger and you almost cum instantly. Fuck, it's so good. You can't even describe how it feels. It's like you can feel him better, deeper. All the sensations are increased.
Namjoon enhances his pace when he sees you feeling more pleasure. He can't wait to put his dick in and to make you cum all over it. Your tight hole is going to feel so good around his length.
"Fuck, I need your cock"
Namjoon is beyond happy to fulfill your wish. He pulls off his fingers and grabs his cock. You feel his tip slightly entering your pussy to gather some of your arousal and then going up to your ass. He pushes to enter you but he is so fucking big.
"Come on, baby, I know you can take it" Namjoon encourages you
You gasp as his tip is inside you. You feel so fucking stretched. Pleasure and pain have never been this connected. You dig your nails deep inside his forearm but he doesn't care: you are fucking taking his cock in your fucking ass. Namjoon caresses your stomach to soothe the pain and keeps kissing your shoulder. He is so gentle you could die.
"Are you okay?"
You nod and Namjoon pushes deeper. You feel every single inch entering you and stretching you. You know he is not entirely in you but you're not sure to take more of him. Namjoon seems to feel it and he slowly pulls over, not completely, to push inside again. You start moaning, louder and louder as Namjoon pounds faster. The pain is still here but the pleasure... Oh god, it's beyond words.
"Fuck, Joonie" You moan as he enters your hole deeper
"You're doing great, baby. It's the best birthday present ever"
He grabs your asscheek and squeezes it hard. He spreads it to look at his dick fucking your ass. Feeling your very tight hole stretched by his huge cock is delightful. Especially when he is the first one. The thought makes his dick twitch inside your ass. He enhances the pace a little when he sees you relaxing and having pleasure. He feels so proud of it, that his cock provides you pleasure. That his cock is fucking your ass. He growls when he realizes it.
"You're so fucking perfect. Your ass feels so good"
The bliss is driving him crazy. He could fuck you so rough that you wouldn't be able to walk for days. But it's your first anal, he can't just destroy you. He grabs your chin to kiss you. Your hand reaches the back of his head. He gives you one hard dick stroke, making you scream his name. You don't even care that other people in the house hear you.
"That's it, scream my name, baby. Tell everyone who fucks you good"
"It's you, Namjoon" You moan loudly
He starts pounding pretty hard and fast in your ass and you're on the edge. Namjoon captures your throat with his large palm. He is almost entirely inside your ass and you feel him so deep. You have never felt so full. You start feeling a huge orgasm building inside you, despite your empty and clenching pussy.
"My pretty baby" He moans when sounds of skins clapping starts filling the room
You're so close to cum. Namjoon looks at your perfect ass taking his cock. Your cheeks get spanked by his thighs and abs every single time. He is not as gentle as at the beginning but he can't hold himself, especially when he notices how fucked up you look. You love his dick in your ass, he can feel it. He swears, he is going to fuck your perfect little ass harder the next time and you will beg for more. The show is so sinful that it spurs Namjoon to push deeper inside your ass, now entirely. He doesn't even know how you manage to take his dick in your tight hole but one thing is sure: you do and you do it fucking well.
"Oh, fuck!" You hiss "I gonna cum"
Namjoon smirks and slaps the side of your ass. You feel your empty pussy clenching. He seems to hear your silent prayers and the hand around your waist goes South to slide two fingers into your cunt, making you groan loudly. You feel so full of him that you can't help tightening your holes. Namjoon is fucking your ass so good. He hides his face in the crook of your neck and hugs you tighter in his arms as he pounds you deeper.
"Cum for me, baby" He whispers, almost begging you as he feels he won't last long
Your hole is too tight and it feels too good to have you in his arms. It feels so good to see how much you trust him — you let him fuck your ass for god's sake!
"Yes, yes!" You scream, loosing your mind over the pleasure
"Fuck, I love your ass" He growls, the vibration echoing into your core
You can't hold on any longer and you cum hard on his cock and his fingers buried deep in your pussy, almost crying of how huge is the wave of pleasure washing over you. You mumble some words you don't even know as you are high. So high, way beyond clouds.
Namjoon pounds a few more times into your tight ass and releases his cum inside. He hugs you so tight, leaving your pussy empty again but still inside your ass, like he is afraid you vanish.
You two stay like that a moment. You can't believe Namjoon just fucked you ass. You also can't believe how much you liked it. You almost fall asleep, you don't want to leave his embrace. You feel good, peaceful. You hum in content and scoot closer into his chest.
"Did you mean it?" He asks suddenly
"What?"
"That you love me"
Your body tenses and your eyes open wide. What? How does he know? You pull over, running at the opposite side of the huge bed. You try to cover your naked body with your hands. You look so panicked, almost terrified.
"It's okay if you didn't mean it" Namjoon reassures you, even though it breaks his heart to see how you are reacting right now
Did you just confessed your love while you were having an orgasm? Well, the best orgasm ever, but still. You're so ashamed. You didn't want to tell him like that. Fuck, when you tell Jimin you said 'I love you' to Namjoon while his dick was in your ass, he is going to laugh so loud...
You are ready to deny it but when you see Namjoon's face, you can't lie. You do love him. You can't keep being a coward and lying to Namjoon and to yourself.
"I meant it. I love you, Namjoon" You confess in a whisper
The silence is killing you. Especially when it's the exact moment you brain chooses to remind you that Namjoon said he wanted to end the contract too.
"That's a good thing" He says, surprising you "Because I love you too"
He gets closer to you and caresses your cheeks. Okay, you have always loved how kind he was after sex but the way he is looking at you right now, it make your heart melt so much it hurts. You can't help kissing him. Namjoon chuckles against your mouth and hugs you tighter. Honestly, he could fuck you again. No, he could make love to you.
"Say it again" You ask
"I love you"
His bright smile with his dimples brings so much happiness to you. Is it possible to die over joy? Because you could right now.
"Okay, there is no contract anymore but I'm not gonna lie, you're still my pretty baby"
You giggle.
"I have to tell you something" You say, pricking his curiosity "I'm jealous so don't you dare having another baby"
"I'm all yours" He reassures you
Like you said, Namjoon has always been honest with you. So you believe him when he says there is nobody else.
"I think we should go back to the party. I can't not showing at my own birthday"
You nod but wince when you sit.
"Are you okay?" Namjoon asks, worried
"Yes, it just hurts a little" You confess, cheeks reddening
Is it bad that he feels proud of it? He wasn't exactly soft but he definitely can get rougher and honestly, he can't wait to pound into your ass again. Or your pussy. He doesn't care as long as he can give you pleasure.
Namjoon helps you standing up and getting dressed. Your beautiful silk dress is now completely crumpled. You pout at it and Namjoon finds you so pretty. Now that he knows you love him, his brain is even crazier than before: images of you in a white dress walking down the wedding hall or of you with a round belly are stuck in his head. But he definitely can't go as fast, he will scare you.
Does that mean that he will wait for years? Absolutely not. His pretty baby better be prepared for her Christmas present. Especially after the best birthday present he has ever had: you saying that you loved him too. 
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Taglist @gimeow @whoreseok723 @wecanpretendit @missbangtangirl @dprmoon @baechugff @parkinglot-nights
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beom-s-author · 1 month
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TXT REACTIONS-Hyung line
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+ When they call you clingy
Choi Soobin:
Everything was so strange. You had a ton of homework to deal with. You were trying to stay busy with your own life, but you noticed that your boyfriend Soobin was very exhausted when he came back. His under eyes were sunken. You decided to put your work aside and take care of him, but the stress and fatigue had completely exhausted him. He was too unhappy to notice your effort. When he came home, his favorite meal was ready. You covered your living room with blankets, just like you did most nights with him, and turned on a ridiculous love drama from the 80s from the movie. Everything was so classic but you thought this would bring him back to his senses. But you were wrong...
When he comes back to house again, he was unhappy again. He seems exhausted like he always in comeback terms. But you decided to not give up from him. He always did when you are at your worst down. So you gave him an understanding smile. But he didn't respond back like he always did. He didn't hug you or smile back. And this was the last straw.
"What's wrong? You didn't talk with me this week." You asked to him. You were waiting for a respond.
"Can you be a bit welfare? You are so clingy." And yes,he said it. Trying for something is being clingy? And you asked yourself this abput 3 times before shutting the door behind you. You just heard his whisper as 'shit'.
Choi Yeonjun:
You didn't realize how time passed. You were working a pat-time job after school and taking care of your sister's daughter on the weekends. With all this work going on, you didn't realize how much pressure your boyfriend was under. He was coming home and you were sitting across from each other. That day was both yours and his free day. The documentary on the screen that you have been looking at for an hour has finally finished. When you raised your head and looked at him, you realized that he was already staring into space. Then a strange conversation took place.
"Babe..You are looking tired.."
"Yeah..whatever.." he was cold as ice. You gulped. He was never like that.
"Is there any problem? I don't like unhappy Jun."
"Why are you caring this now? You were like a ghost this week and now you are asking this? You have to be clingy,right?" As his words hit, you can feel your eyes are getting teary. Your pupils get wise and you gulped. Your eyelashes are threatining you to drop the tears. But you wiped them immedietaly and go out. He was watching you from distance.
Choi Beomgyu:
Everything was a big mess. You were all over him and asking for his problem. Because he was too distant and cold this times. You were trying to reach him but he was hiding in a big ice cub like he always did. You always broke this ice cub but now it was impossible. He was staring at the void and holding a pen in his hands. He was trying to compose TXT's new song and now he was too depressed with that. You went near of him and grabbed his pen.
"Why are you so desperate to write this? You can do this later honey. Just take a quick break."
"You can't understand me. I am doing a job which is important not like you. You are sitting at your clinic and listening people's words. This is boring and unnecessary." He crossed the line this time. Your job was your dream job. And now he was daubing it now. You looked angry.
"I am also doing a job which is important. And why don't you respect towards to me? I guess we are sensitive about this topic."
"Yes we are. My job is requiring space and relax behaviours not clingy and weird actions as a psychopath has." He crossed the line again and now you weren't tolerating now.
"I am apprehensive about you! You are not talking, eating, even sleeping. How can I be relax about it?" You replied back.
"Do you know what? If you are complainant like this why don't you leave?"
You gulped with his words. You were now sad more than being furious. You go to your room and grab your coat with your purse and phone. You shut the door. He watched you with empty eyes. He couldn't recognize how he hurt you.
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nightgoodomens · 17 days
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I am very sorry but this was in the back of my mind and i just have to say it. It'll never be not funny to me how he talked about egg and chips with more passion than the mother of his children💀 (let alone David who clearly has his own place, the difference is so sky high it's unfair to compare.)
It's really disappointing how some decide to neglect and deny themselves the joy, from one of the most loving relationships out there just for the reason that it doesn't fit into society's norm boxes. Instead they drag the standards embarrassingly low, because they refuse to let go of the perfect image they crafted out of thin air or any modicum of truth.
Sometimes it makes me scarred to live in a society where "goals" for a healthy, happy relationship is reduced to diplomatic answers, we didn't want this but you meet who you meet ( uncanny resemblance to another couple iirc), unhappy content due to cameras being pushed into your face or tasteless insults in a medium you know they can't (or won't,due to dignity) get back at you. How can you say "love" when the man went out of his way to say "because of how we felt about each other" instead of simply saying now we love each other.
I think when he talked about that arrangement it was the only time there was no light in his eyes… With David he was shining, other questions you could see he was having fun too.
We know this fandom was in much denial for a while, but we have reached the point where they even pretend things aren’t there (Neil saying David and Michael are in love) yet saying they can see Michael and Anna are in love (a word Michael refuses to use for her yet easily gives to David, multiple times). They have created their own fantasy. And it’s extra funny because “shippers” are the bad guys basing their views on actual things that are said and the body language etc, whereas “real fans” now actually need to ignore things and put words in Michael’s mouth to keep their fantasy going. They don’t see how weird it is that AL is spending her day on social media looking for validation from strangers either. They don’t see how depressed David is looking and how GT is giving them break up songs. They don’t see DT growing more and more annoyed with GT acting more and more like a paparazzi. They don’t see GT blatantly undermining David’s accomplishments, or insulting him. They don’t see Michael looking sad in the selfies with just AL. They don’t see that it’s a different world if you switch to MS/DT instead. They ignore that it was said that the men are boyfriends. They ignore that Neil told them the men are still in love. They have an excuse for everything. Yet we are the ones making stuff up?
I do think there is some sort of irony in Michael and David starting their relationships with women in a very similar way. And I wonder if this is why David dislikes Anna so much, because seeing this shit playing out in front of him, with someone he deeply cares about, must sting.
Sometimes when I watch this fandom and their choice to use denial so bluntly… it kind of puts in perspective why so many people are in unhappy relationships and why so many people have relationships/marriages falling apart… A lot of people struggle with seeing what’s right in front of them. A bit extra, but you know how politicians can get people to believe lies so easily? Because they know people are gullible. A lot of people struggle to think for themselves and will join collective, sheep thinking to be part of the group. A lot of people are scared to say “actually…”. It’s easier to be part of a group. And some people simply are not capable of analysis. Especially when you give them what they want to see - Brexit is such a fantastic evidence on how you fool half of the country because majority of people do not think for themselves or check evidence. And if you give them what they want to hear? You’re in.
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Initial thoughts on QSMP egg cookies (obviously both the system and thoughts will develop over time) (I am somewhere between a crow and a very confused rat, I am biased to certain eggs in certain ways, and I've really been enjoying stuff characters have been up to without the eggs - particularly Phil, but also Pac and Fit dungeon dates - so I was hoping the number of days needed would be reduced so the players could change without eggs to do personal lore or go exploring or building or whatever and the like. I am biased, it's not quite 7am and I was up til gone midnight before I gave up on the streams, disclaimer disclaimed):
Both the concept and the UI are adorable. Especially those happiness bars that's so cute. Can be a bit dark given they're Federation cookies, but it's still very cute.
3 cookies available a day for total of 9 cookies in principle makes it the same as before, buuut if a task is shitty or egg parents are a bit pressed for time they can split it over the week. 9 tasks (presumably) a week is better than 5 a day for 3 days in terms of CCs being able to pace themselves. Especially if there's shit day like the grappling squark day way back.
Cookies can presumably be saved week to week, which is also helpful.
Eggs not needing to be online to do the tasks helpful! Just gotta get online to eat the cookies.
I don't think tasks like "attend an event" or "visit a friend" can work on the new system and that's extremely sad. Maybe it can, but the handing in seems important. Purgatory did have the kills, buuuut going places doesn't have an easy server insides like murder does.
The half points for non-parents is really sad? I actually love babysitting streams and this is going to discourage them so hard. It's also going to cause problems if someone like Fit or Philza or BBH or Foolish ever goes away. Because that's then 6 days to keep each of their eggs alive. 18 cookies.
Limited number of cookies a week is going to cause problems. We know there's an irl meetup at the end of the year. I severely doubt there will be enough people on the server to get 60 cookies (itll be somewhere between 30 and 60, because non-parents only count for half), and I also doubt enough will have been saved up by then. Forcing someone to choose which of the other parents eggs live and die is horrific, and there is no option for them to just spend time grinding the tasks for the other eggs. Also if someone gets sick or something or their computer dies and can't stream? There's not necessarily stuff saved up to help.
Having to save up cookies means no more getting to Friday, seeing egg with no ticks, and grinding Friday-Saturday-Sunday. If you're looking after someone else's egg you now have to start Tuesday, and it's only possible if you don't have your own or you have a backlog. Which nobody does yet. Which sucks because who doesnt love to see a hundred eggies trailing after BBH (or Tazercraft as I recall happened for twitchcon France) while everyone else is at twitchcon?
Tallulah is going to discuss with the other admins her circumstances. So I'll hold speaking about her and Chayanne in terms of future stuff (and I didnt watch to the end of Phil's stream today so I dont know if he gave them the cookies or what, Tallulah did say a placeholder was in place). But also, this was a predictable problem they 100% should have accounted for in advance. Tallulah and Chayanne both having (in practice if not in lore) only one and the same caretaker who streams a limited but precisely known number of days (exactly as many as was required to keep them alive on the old system) should have been accounted for at the point of system creation. I can't see a fix which doesn't either make Phil a massive exception, or force him to put one of his kids up for adoption, and that's unhappy to me. I'm sure theyll think of something, but they should have already thought of it and implimented it before the new system was in place. Tallulah-admmin should have been able to answer Phil's questions about her parental status and how he's going to be able to provide for two eggs.
The above would be less of a problem (still a problem but less of one) without the 0.5 for non-parents rule. But it would still be a problem.
As someone between a crow and a rat, I'm going to be salty. Atm Richas only has Pac, which is fine. But I can see it getting extremely frustrating when Richas has 3 to 5 caretakers over the week all of whom can do his tasks so he can be done in a day and otherwise do fun stuff - and as before his parents can pass him around to work on their stuff - while Philza's back to doing only childcare (I'm sure his lore won't just die to it, but it's going to get pushed aside as are any of the building projects he was considering). Which was always going to happen with eggs back and isn't really a change from before, except that multi-parent eggs can be done in a day. Seeing how full Em's bar was when Phil and his eggs sang by spawn should have been fun, but it just made me feel bitter and I hate that.
Once players run the maths it's going to discourage them from taking time off when they need to, especially the single parents, and I know these are adult professionals with their own lives who can talk to people, but also theyve already proven they're shit at prioritising themselves. The Philza streaming at stupid o'clock in the morning while sick so Chayanne didn't die streams are kinda an excellent example, but also Purgatory (especially Bolas). Like that Philza stream is legendary but is frankly actually horrifying. And the admins know the players pull this shit and /are/ in a position of authority and /do/ have a level of control over not just the players' fun but their livelihoods, and they shouldn't be making it harder.
It's cute, it's adorable, it solves a couple of problems the old system had while introducing massive and predictable new ones. The system doesn't seem to have been thought all the way through or the consequences actually considered which is an oversight not a maliciousness, but much like a buggy or untested video game is much harder to fix after players have gotten their hands on it than before. Much like purgatory whatever they do to fix it is still going to taste bad because the initial release was flawed. Worse, it's going to be massively different reception by different bits of the community, because it's goingto make life a easier for some ccs and harder for others: Fit's only here one more day this week, and is already worried about who can take care of Ramon - he asked Philza who wanted to but can't because he has his own eggs to manage, and I just... that was very unpleasant. Especially with Chayanne writing "we can't let him die" and Philza saying words to the effect of what do you want me to do I don't even know if I can keep both of you alive. Meanwhile Em is already 2/3s done for the week. On Monday. Which in theory means Bagi could look after Ramon, but see the 0.5 and it punishing non-parents for trying to help out!
System makes it significantly easier to keep your kid alive if you're a parent with shared custody (3 parents and you can be done in a day), a little harder for single parents (other people have to work double), and (as currently stands with no super obvious solution) extremely difficult for the single parent with multiple eggs he's the only active parent of.
TBH if a game I was playing added something like this, especially as the player had no idea of the changing rules in advance, I'd fucking leave. It's a massive red flag to me - not of ill intent or a lack of love but of a lack of forethought and such. It'd make a neat special event or whatever, but only if everyone knows and agrees in advance and only if there's not consequences to refusing.
Plot stuff being hidden from players but much like with purgatory players reeeeeally need to be given more mechanical changes info in advance. I would bet if theyd shown these rules to the players in the discord Philza would have gone "what about Tallulah" and Fit would have gone "I've got a trip what about Ramon" and BBH would have gone "hey I've had to semi-regularly solo-parent 5+ eggs because cons and stuff how do I protect them" and this would have been smoothed out. (Maybe a parent can nominate babysitter/s and said babysitter can cash out as many times as they have eggs in their care each day? Idk). But because it got shown to players on screen with these massive holes still there, people (like me) will be salty and it'll never taste good.
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lushlovers · 1 year
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Xbox Withdrawals, J Burrow
summary; the burrows decorating their beautiful home for christmas and dallas being the equivalent of the grinch :).
warnings; swearing, dallas the sass master, joe being sad for two seconds, tooth rotting fluffffff
word count; 1k
note; i hate this sm but i had to put out something. thank you all so so much for the recent love on my works, and for 55 followers on here?? if there's anything you guys have in mind that you want written send it my way, i need some ideas!!
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"Alright, everything Christmas-ish is down from the attic, as requested, mama," Joe informed you, waltzing into the kitchen with a very unhappy looking Dallas in tow. He probably was put to the slightest work by his father, now he'll be a sourpuss for the rest of the morning.
Annika sat comfortably on your hip, staring up at her father with your same eyes. She was your twin and Joe loved it. The boys were spitting image of him, just with your complexion. He loved to see your little mini me's running around your house.
You hum in return, pressing a kiss to his cheek as a thank you, "ew," Dallas is always cringing at the slightest contact his parents make. Being like every seven year old ever. Geo comes in to see what he missed out on while he was watching his cartoons, "Mama, up!"
"I can't pick up both of you, baby. Anni's getting too big for that." He turns to your husband after your response, and he's scooped up before he even has to ask, but instead of Joe holding him, he sits him down on the counter, "My back is killing me," you groan, getting older is actually the worst thing ever.
"I can tell it's raining, my knee's killing me," Joe mentioned, stretching out his leg the best he could. After surgery it absolutely kills him in the cold.
Decorating in the house was an all day affair, no matter how fast you all tried to get it done, having a seven month old and a five year old running around was a challenge on the daily, let alone when there were glass ornaments sitting out as you placed them along the tree.
Unfortunately, baby Annika has figured out she can pull herself up on the coffee table in the living room and mess around with whatever may be on top of it. Once it's in her hand, of course it ends up in her mouth, some way somehow, especially since her gums bother her so much with teething.
Joe and Dallas had both volunteered to set up the lights on the bushes outside and around the trees, the rest up higher would be taken care of when there's no little ones around who could possibly climb up a ladder or something along those lines.
Going out and looking for a tree was probably the easiest part in all of this, the whole Burrow family got together and did it as a family. Having Joe's brothers and their wonderful families around to blend with your own was something beautiful to watch, especially seeing them all get to grow up side by side. You were the same way as a kid, always hanging out with your cousins.
Thankfully, today Annika has decided not to throw her tantrums or break something on the table whilst you decorate the tree, she even wanted to help the best she could. She reached out for the sparkly red bulb in your hand, to which you perched her upon your hip, taking her hand in yours and hooking it onto one of the beautiful branches.
Geo was hooking them onto it as well, pointing to each one he did searching for praise on the good job he was doing at being a helper, and you are quick to praise his skill every time just because it makes him smile. He's such a little bundle of energy and smiles no matter the time or place. Dallas too usually, but he's in a sassy era at the moment.
Speaking of, he comes inside, this time with Joe following him, kicking his shoes of with even more attitude than before, he'd gotten really accustomed to being on his Xbox all the time, but that was nipped as soon as he got too comfortable sitting around on it all the time. His playing hours are limited, especially when Joe's home. He loves spending time with the boys whenever he's capable.
"He's still mad about the Xbox?" You ask, already knowing the answer, of course he is. Joe only nods, flopping down onto the couch, Dallas had disappeared somewhere upstairs, most likely on his game despite him not supposed to be. "I just don't get why he doesn't wanna spend time with me," he muffles, but you understand what he said perfectly.
"He does, baby," you frown, sitting yourself down beside his head, "He talks about you all the time, to everyone. Even at school, all his teachers know who you are. It's just.. He's a boy in this century, thats all he does is sit on that game for hours." You're telling him the truth, that's all Dallas really likes to do.
"How about you go and join him, while us three finish the tree, then we can all come watch?" He lifts his head, smiling big and pearly at your great idea, causing his eyes to crinkle a bit. He nearly jumps up and trips over something on his way to the stairs. How had he not thought of this yet?
Geo had barely paid any attention to your conversation with your husband, only continuing to add the glittering tinsel along the tree, being sure to pick up the little pieces he'd managed to drop, "Mama, doesn't it look so pretty?" He's asking again for your validation and you happily oblige.
"It's gorgeous, baby. You did a great job helping mama."
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9w1ft · 5 months
Note
Although all these days I struggled to understand the concept of LSK or if Kaylor really are together still etc, Hudson Valley really sealed the deal for me. For reasons best known to Kaylor themselves, they definitely have chosen to live their life the way they do. Aaron posting Taylor in Hudson Valley same time as Karlie raised enough eyebrows for their PR teams to kick in and start diverting everyone's attention to Travlor instead. Cue the dinner, tonight's concert, extra PDA, karma line change etc. I see the reoccurring patterns clearly now.
I can't help but feel sad though that this is how they choose to live and of course no pressure for them to pick otherwise but I do hope someday they will decide to drop this facade and openly be together. Love your work btw and it's from your posts that I really started to believe in LSK :)
thank you for this message! and yeah, i think if you stick around and look at the big picture it makes a lot of sense and then things like what you mention above just kind of stick out a little more when they happen. and they happen from time to time.
i understand what you mean by feeling sad, though if you will allow me to go on a tangent,
i think i would be inclined to feel more sad for their situation if they were just everyday women in love with each other but unable to express it solely because of social inequality related to sexuality. but when i think of their entire situation, i know there are more factors involved than just the particularity of who they love. being a celebrity, for example, puts an additional variable into their story that makes the idea of them coming out more complicated and potentially dangerous, and thus potentially less beneficial to them on a personal level. coming out won’t necessarily make things automatically better, because the eyes of the world are on them and a lot of them are hostile. and that’s an anxiety we might not understand. so i try to think about it like that, and place the goal not at a universal ideal but more at a local ideal, the goal of their love persisting and persevering against the odds. i still find a lot of meaningfulness there.
i think we might assume they must be unhappy in their situation, and i’m not saying they can’t be, but i think assuming they are unfulfilled creates a perception that these things they do are painful for them when it might not be the case. i say this because i feel that over the years they’ve been able to sort out and be honest about what they want and what they don’t want, and how to go about things in a way that doesn’t invite miscommunication. looking at taylor’s discography i think there were absolutely years and instances where they weren’t communicating their best, and that both got hurt for different reasons. but i get the strong sense from a growing collection of songs that they’ve put in the work to be on the same page and have found something that works for them.
i don’t want to dismiss anybody that sees them do things and is hurt by it. she basically invented the book on parasocial engineering and i still have my feelings about miss americana and how that clearly set people with expectations. but i think taylor was pretty clear with midnights that she’s doing her thing rn and shining bright. and that she doesn’t want people to mistaken her as a guiding light.
so i think at some point it’s up to each of us as individuals to assess what it is that we get out of it and if it’s worth the time for us or if there are better places to invest our time. i just think that’s going to be different for each person and that’s okay!
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softheartedtyrant · 1 year
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Yandere!Grave Keeper x Reader || Identity V ♡
tw: Yandere, stalking, kidnapping, implied violence, mention of injuries
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Andrew is very used to scrutiny, disgust and contempt from other people. He was never accepted by others and always felt out of place, so it is no surprise to him that his life in the manor is exactly the same. But Andrew doesn't exactly blame the other survivors, after all, he dislikes himself all the same, a white-haired monster, as they call him.
Due to this, it would be enough for you to show genuine kindness and respect towards him for Andrew to become enamored with you. He is absolutely overwhelmed by something as small as you holding open a door for him, or inviting him to sit next to you at a table while eating. Not to mention, if you were to smile at him while greeting him in the morning, he would melt away completely.
To him, you're an angel. A gift. His chance at redemption. You're so kind-hearted, so empathetic, so pure and perfect. If he can protect you and make sure you stay safe, then all of his prior sins can be forgiven.
He doesn't even try to hide his newfound conviction. Andrew stalks you without even trying to blend into the environment, from now on you can be sure that there's always a watchful pair of eyes looking your way. It's almost like he is your shadow. Even if you tell him to stop, he won't. Should you hate him from now on, so be it, your safety is more important than anything else.
He doesn't see himself worthy of your presence anyways, infact, he thinks of himself as below you. In comparison to you, he's disgusting and vile, like vermin.
Andrew fights tooth and nail to keep you from being hurt in matches. He can take broken rips, bruises, cuts and even more grievous injuries if it means you're unharmed. This man would quite literally die for you if it was needed. Adding to this, he won't ever leave a match without you, and if he sees another survivor being extremely selfish or letting you down, they're sure to receive the full extent of his anger. You would never let anyone down. How could they?
If you allow him near you, despite how unusual he seems to act, he is overjoyed. He can't believe how lucky he is. He carefully listens to everything you say and if you ask him about his life and show genuine interest in him, you'll bring him close to crying tears of joy.
Andrew isn't the type to get violent out of jealousy. He gets extremely jealous, yes, but he condemns himself for it and tries to hide the feeling. It is definitely noticeable, though. The sour stares full of malice that he gives other survivors when they take up your time, how his eyes darken when you leave to spend time with someone else. Truth be told, Andrew looks very intimidating when he is jealous. That alone will probably make other survivors weary of occupying your attention for too long. Andrew would never admit this, but secretly, he is happy about it.
If you ever get seriously hurt during a match, it will unsettle him deeply, even if Emily does her best at patching you up and you end up recovering. It's not unlikely that this will cause Andrew to kidnap you and keep you somewhere safe. Somewhere you won't get hurt ever again. You can try to fight back, but Andrew won't budge. There's a good chance he will overpower you, too. After all, before he came to the manor, he made a living by lifting caskets and digging holes.
Andrew would be a gentle captor. Aside from not letting you leave, he wouldn't ever do anything you're uncomfortable with, and he'll even leave you alone if you want that. He hates to see you angry or sad, especially if you're crying. He will be especially distressed if you try to get him to let you go by hitting, scratching or biting him. Not because it hurts him, no, he can barely feel it, he is used to this kind of treatment by others after all. Andrew just hates to see you unhappy.
You're probably stuck with him for a long time, no matter what you do. Andrew doesn't care whether you hate or love him, because he loves you deeply, so so deeply. If you're upset, he'll hush you with soft words and brush through your hair with his fingers until you've calmed down. If you accept him, he'll be the happiest man on earth, and even if you don't, Andrew will protect you for as long as he can, in his own, special way.
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mcflymemes · 9 months
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HELP! BY THE BEATLES PROMPTS *  assorted lyrics from the album, adjust as necessary
i need somebody!
you make me dizzy.
why am i so shy when i'm beside you?
please come on back to me.
i'm part of you.
i want all the world to see we've met.
you'll be back again tonight.
i think i'm going to be sad.
i said i wish you were mine.
i want you to be my bride.
nobody in all the world can do what she can do.
i can never win.
i want to marry you.
open up your eyes now.
i might have looked the other way.
it's only love.
you'll never leave me.
now it looks as though they're here to stay.
why should i feel the way i do?
i think it's today.
i could never really live without you.
tell me what you see.
when i held you near, you were so sincere.
were you telling lies?
yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
you know it's true.
look into these eyes now.
love will find a way.
you look so fine.
might win an oscar! you can never tell.
she said that living with me was bringing her down.
if you don't take her out tonight, she's gonna change her mind.
come on back and see just what you mean to me.
you know i need someone.
i'm lonely as can be.
listen to me one more time.
i can play the part so well.
i've got somebody that's new.
it's so hard loving you.
is it right that you and i should fight every night?
i hope you'll come and see me in the movies.
i never needed anybody's help in any way.
i will take her out tonight.
you like me too much.
i will treat her kind.
i'm not half the man i used to be.
i'm not so self-assured.
how can i get through?
you don't realize how much i need you.
just the sight of you makes nighttime bright.
i find i've changed my mind.
love was in your eyes.
you haven't got the nerve.
i don't take what i don't want.
they're gonna put me in the movies.
if she's gone, i can't go on.
please remember how i feel about you.
treat me like you did the night before.
help me if you can.
they're gonna make a big star out of me.
you're gonna lose that girl.
i've been alone, and i have missed things.
haven't i the right to make it up?
she's sweeter than all the girls, and i've met quite a few.
everywhere, people stare.
i'm feeling down.
all i gotta do is act naturally.
it's nice when you believe me.
i need you.
how was i to know you would upset me?
i do appreciate you being around.
help me get my feet back on the ground.
won't you please help me?
i don't wanna say that i've been unhappy with you...
my life has changed in so many ways.
i can see them laugh at me.
every now and then i feel so insecure.
was i so unwise?
i said something wrong.
i won't need rehearsing.
you've got to hide your love away.
i couldn't really stand it.
that's when it hurt me.
i'm telling you this time, you'd better stop.
i just need you like i've never done before.
we said our goodbyes.
now i need a place to hide away.
i bet you i'm gonna be a big star.
i just can't go on anymore.
through thick and thin, she will always be my friend.
when i think of things we did, it makes me wanna cry.
i will follow you and bring you back where you belong.
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songbirdstew · 3 months
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Well, Tom Petty, it turns out I DO have to live like a refugee.
We are back in evacuation mode. I guess a three and a half year break isn't bad.
Saturday, we woke up to half an inch of ice coating every possible surface.
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Our power went out at 3 that afternoon.
Sunday, we woke up to an inch thick layer of ice coating every possible surface.
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None of this is snow. It is all ice.
The outside temperature ranged from 23 to 27*F. By Tuesday, the inside temperature had dropped to 39, our power bank was drained, and our devices were near dead. Our immediate plan was to head to the Parks center, or if that didn't work, to City Hall (where our library is), both usually sound options for getting a cup of coffee and charging up. We would make contact with the outside world, check the weather forecast, make a plan, then head back home to grab essentials. But C's sister happened to text me right as I was gathering everything up, so we headed for her place instead.
The path from here to there was NOT GREAT BOB.
The roads were all coated in ice, still. Even in the middle of town, on the main thoroughfares, on the Priority 1 deicing routes. All along the route, there are power lines down, power poles down and broken, transformers exploded, trees down, trees snapped in half, trees sliced down the middle vertically. There are power lines dangling over the road, lying in the road, draped across people's driveways and over their front doors so they can't get out. Half the traffic lights were out.
So as soon as we got here, we decided to stay put for the night. The cats were loaded on food and water, and the house was safe and sound.
We quickly learned the entire East half of our town (where the Parks center is) and most of mid town and downtown (where the library is) were totally without power, plus the Parks center's parking lot was blocked by downed trees, so it was just as well we ended up skipping our initial idea and just came straight to Emma and Zev's.
Today, C&I went back to get things we'll need while we're here (we brought NOTHING with us yesterday). The temperature finally rose, so most of the ice had melted. Most of the traffic lights were back on.
But everything else is still the same, if not worse. Once the ice melted, everything that had been hanging by a frozen thread just crashed. Large parts of town are under orders to boil all of their water (remember, they don't have power). When we got home, we found a tree branch had completely shattered the rear window of C's car while we were gone. A huge hunk of ice fell out of the same tree and put a brand new dent in my fender while we were there. It was still only 37* at our house, even though it was up to 47 less than a mile away. The fuck?
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The kitties were okay. Charlie seemed perfectly fine (like, What? You were gone?), and Glitch was well, but very, very sad. She HATES being alone (she doesn't even like being alone in a room when people are home). She HATES it when I'm not there. She could tell we were leaving again right away, and she was so unhappy. I set up her favorite blankets for her on the couch and on the bed. We gave them food and water for a few days, plus wet food with calming drops mixed in. We freshened their boxes, and we closed them in their separate spaces so that Charlie won't be bullying Glitch & stealing her food the whole time.
Curtis plans to go back out to the house on his own tomorrow, largely to further inspect his car and take more pictures for the insurance company. School is cancelled for the week. So far I have not had to go in to work, but tomorrow and Friday remain to be seen. My boss will let me know sometime in the morning whether she expects me to work or not, and then Curtis and I will decide if we think it's safe enough to get me there and back. We haven't been to that part of town, so we don't know how bad the tree damage etc might be. If it's anything like the rest of the city, I know I won't feel comfortable navigating that in the dark.
For now, we are good, and warm, and safe, with people we love. Emma and Zev are such good influences on Royal, that Royal actually ate something green today (enchilada sauce).
Please snuggle your kitties for me and kiss their stupid little heads, okay?
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panlight · 1 year
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Really interesting to see the comments on the latest poll, especially the ones saying they left because they cared about her because . . . yeah, that's how I had always taken it? But the Tumblr discourse seemed to be all 'how could they!!" and talking about how Bella had been 'abandoned' and how if you were Bella you wouldn't forgive them.
I'm somewhere in the "they left because they genuinely thought her life would be better without vampires around" but also "they aren't actually that close yet" grey area. It's only been a few months and they're long-lived immortals. One magical summer might seem like a long time to a 17-year-old, but to someone who has lived 350 years, that's a blink of a eye. I also don't feel like any of them, except Edward and maybe Alice, had actually promised her anything yet. Could be just me, though.
Of course, the central problem with Twilight is that in the first three books, vampirism is BAD (or at least sad, shadowy, shameful) and saving Bella from it is GOOD, even NOBLE. Edward sucking the venom out to keep her from transforming is a heroic act. Edward (and the rest of the Cullens) leaving in New Moon so she can have a normal life and be safe from the risk of one of them slipping up again is an act of love. Even Jacob's behavior in Eclipse; if you read SM's comments about it, she frames it as him resorting to desperate measures to save Bella from vampirism more than a "chose me" thing. I couldn't find the quote right now, but if it was something like if your friend were about to jump or fall off a building, you might grab them and pull them back. You could maybe hurt their arm while you were doing it, but you prevented the greater harm. (I'm not saying I necessarily agree with this re: the things Jacob does in Eclipse, but that's how SM has talked about it).
But then we get to Breaking Dawn and turning Bella into a vampire IS the great act of heroism, and she ends up loving it and being good at it right away, so then it makes the first three books just feel like, what was the point then? Was Edward's angst overblown? Rosalie's unhappiness not real? All the "I can't take your soul" stuff didn't mean anything? What happened to the constant pain of unquenched thirst endured by the vegetarian vampires? The massive shift in tone from "vampirism is something we try to rise above" to "this is the place I fit, the place I shined" feels off and undermines the message of the first three books. At least to me. I feel like it would have worked much better if she initially struggled with vampirism but eventually found happiness, vs just being "WOW I'm mysteriously good at this, this is awesome."
As it is, it just kinda feels like "if she loves it so much and is so good at it, they should have just let James' venom spread and spared everyone the drama."
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francesminos-tt · 7 months
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Prompt: Soulmate AU where your born with, or get, some kind of identifying marking(s). When you touch your soulmate, there is a bond. You are able to feel any strong emotions that your soulmate feels. If a person gets sick, feels pain or dies, the same thing happens to their soulmate. Joffrey and Daeron are soulmates, but that doesn't mean they love each other. They are forced to get married (and touch each other - the bond for some is a gift and for others it is a punishment- because the bond makes them desperate to touch their other half, Denial of touching your soulmate causes pain in both, for one year the linked souls cannot be separated by long distances, there is a discussion of doubtful consent because they both feel sexual desires and sex is more of an unhealthy necessity of the first year of soul bonding than real pleasure. Joffrey and Daeron try to deal with this in their lives. It's painful and distressing, everyone around them celebrates and celebrates, but they both feel unhappy. Joffrey hates knowing that all his life he will depend on Daeron - someone he doesn't know, someone he doesn't love - He hates the prison that bonding is. Daeron also feels like a prisoner, he doesn't understand how this is considered a blessing from the seven. Joffrey and Daeron constantly wonder how cruel the bond can be to those who don't love each other.
some scenes I thought you might write about them; -if you wish and I hope so-
1 - They are young boys between 19-14 years old, meaning they are sometimes stupid and immature. At some point they may have had a fight and forced themselves to stay away from each other more than is "acceptable" It's a fight to see who is the most stubborn and can stay away the longest, but it goes wrong because one of them faints (I thought of Joffrey) quickly they are placed on the bed next to each other and are forced to touch each other to calm the pain and we have a CRYING Joffrey because he really hates being so helpless about this.
2 - Or we can have a scene of how their nightly routine works, the embarrassment and the longing to touch someone you have no real feelings for. I can imagine Joffrey being unashamed of his nakedness (it's not like Daeron hasn't already seen every part of Joffrey's body)
3 - They've been married for a while and are slowly learning to love each other like Daeron accompanying Joffrey to the training camp silently and just admiring his husband
Of course, you can feel free to write whatever you want or change anything (like their age or how the bond works) I don't care, I just want to read these sad puppies who can't stay away from each other and maybe add sad sex if you want too lol
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Joffrey’s mark was half of a dragon wing behind his ear, on the small patch of sensitive skin. His mother found it when she was washing his hair. At first Rhaenyra thought it was just a rash, maybe an irritation, but she soon realized she couldn’t be more wrong.
It was a soulmate mark. Her little boy was blessed with a soulmate, a rare gift given by gods. She burst into tears after the family doctor had confirmed that Joffrey was indeed blessed, that his mark would soon lead him to his soulmate.
He found his soulmate during the Christmas gathering. Joffrey had always been a healthy child, but somehow, he was struck by a nasty cold three times that winter. His throat was still sore when he arrived at Grandpa Viserys’s house. Rhaenyra told her boys to play with their uncles and aunt Helaena in the garden, except for Joffrey, who was still recovering from his cold. Joff, an energetic child, had to stay inside and play with toys that he didn’t even like.
“You are sitting on my comic book.” A boy’s voice came from above, making Joffrey drop the little robot in his hands.
“What?” Joffrey frowned at the blonde boy, who was about his big brother Jacaerys’s age.
“Get off the couch.” The boy shoved Joffrey, sending him to the carpeted floor.
Joffrey felt a shock of electricity running from where the boy touched him to the back of his head. Though the boy’s action was rude and rough, Joffrey was too shocked to care. The electricity had become a warmth, spreading through his body and miraculously making him feel better. Even his throat seemed to be less sore immediately.
The boy seemed to share Joffrey’s surprise. He had forgotten about the comic book, and was staring at Joffrey as if he had seen a ghost.
“What did you do to me?” The boy asked roughly and rubbed the hand that he touched Joffrey with, “You are hot like a boiling kettle.”
Joffrey wanted to ask the boy the same question, but he was only three, he wasn’t that eloquent yet. Before Joffrey could open his mouth, his brothers and their uncles and aunt rushed into the living room, all red faced and laughing.
“What game are you guys playing?” Aegon, the oldest of them all, raised an eyebrow at the bizarre picture in front him, “Why is Joffrey on the floor?”
It turned out that blonde boy was Joffrey’s youngest uncle Daeron. He had been in Old Town last year for Christmas, so Joffrey didn’t know him. He didn’t come out to the garden because of the reason as Joffrey; he was recovering from a cold.
Joffrey learned that his soulmate was Daeron Targaryen, his youngest uncle, a boy who shoved him to the floor at first sight.
Joffrey was three, and Daeron was six that year.
Joffrey and Daeron had been inseparable since the day their fated had been sealed. They went to the same school, lived in the same neighborhood (Joffrey had to throw a tantrum to prevent his mother from asking Daeron to live with them), and had to sleep in each other’s room every other day. At first, it was fine. Kind of funny, Joffrey would say. They would stay late in the night and read Daeron’s comic books, or play with the dragon toy Joffrey’s father got him.
But after the initial novelty had faded, Joffrey found himself trapped. He was only a little boy and he wanted to meet new people and make new friends. No one would come to him at parks because Daeron would always be there, older, taller and more handsome. He felt like a sailor stranded on an isolate island with Daeron. Forever.
The soul bond made it impossible from them to stay apart for more than a few days. The longest time they had stayed apart was that summer when Daeron went to scout camp while Joffrey stayed at home because he was still too young. Daeron had to be sent back five days later because he had been struck down by a bad fever. As soon as Joffrey touched him, Daeron’s labored breath calmed down immediately. Joffrey slept in the same bed with Daeron, and the next day, the blonde boy returned to his healthy self again. Everyone swooned at them. Aegon even wolf whistled at Joffrey the next time he came to visit. Everyone seemed to be happy, except for Daeron.
“You cost me my scout badge.” Daeron said to Joffrey angrily, “I hate you.”
“I didn’t do anything.” Joffrey pouted, a habit he had developed since he could talk.
“Don’t play cute on me. I hate you and your stupid mark.”
“You have your mark too,” Joffrey pointed to Daeron’s wrist, the other half of the dragon wing, “I never asked for this.”
“Well, neither did I. Wait until they decide to marry us. I will be stuck with you forever.”
“Marry?” Joffrey’s eyebrow raised in confusion, “But we are both boys! We can’t marry each other!”
“Then will your future wife be comfortable to have me in your house?” Daeron scoffed and walked away, leaving Joffrey alone in the living room to panic.
That was the day Joffrey learned that he was truly screwed.
“Hey, Joff, your boyfriend is here!” Joffrey’s teammate shouted from the locker room door.
Joffrey rolled his eyes. He had long given up trying to convince his teammates that Daeron was not his boyfriend.
Consider this whole soulmate thing as a medical condition. I just need to spend time with him to stay alive, you know? It’s not like I have feelings for him or anything.
Unfortunately, no one bought his story. Perhaps Joffrey was not very good at convincing people. The locker room burst out a string of laughter, and Joffrey had to punch the goalkeeper who was laughing the hardest. Joffrey took his time to shower, change, put on deodorant and brush his hair. His teammates always laughed at him for caring his appearance too much. Like a chick, they would say, but they had no idea why Joffrey tried to linger in the locker-room. This was the only place he could get away from Daeron.
No matter how hard Joffrey tried to drag the time, eventually he had to leave the locker-room and face his soulmate.
“What took you so long?” Daeron asked impatiently, arms crossed at his chest, “I’ve been standing here for like forever.”
“I told you, you don’t have to pick me up.” Joffrey flipped the duffle bag on his shoulder, “Don’t you have work to do in college?”
Daeron unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, exposing his neck and collar bone that was covered in red rashes.
“I need a recharge.” Daeron said simply, taking Joffrey’s hand, “Thank God it’s only the rashes now. I can’t afford to faint in front of everyone.”
They walked outside to the football field hand in hand. As the years passed, their ‘separation syndrome’ gradually changed as well. Now they would not faint or go into a seizure if they had been separated for too long. Daeron would have red rashes all over his body while Joffrey would suffer from extreme fatigue. They welcomed this change, for it could be easily explained as allergy or lack of sleep. They called their forced proximity recharge, a word suitable for their situation. Just a way to keep going, nothing to do with feelings.
“Looking pretty for your boyfriend, Velaryon?” A tall boy sneered at Joffrey as Joffrey and Daeron approached the field exit.
“Fuck off.” Joffrey said, rolling his eyes for hundredth time today, “I don’t have time for this.”
“Ohhh, pretty Joff doesn’t have time for us! He wants to shag his boyfriend!” the boy and his fellow idiot friends laughed among themselves.
Joffrey had been chosen as the main forward in his high school football team despite being a freshman. The boy and his gang had been picking on Joffrey ever since he scored his first goal. Joffrey had gotten so tired of the boy’s childish provocation.
“Come,” Joffrey nudged Daeron to walk on, “don’t mind them. They are idiots.”
“They called you a bad name, Joffrey.” Daeron frowned, throwing nasty glares at the gang.
“They called me worse,” Joffrey shrugged, apparently no intention to share the details, “They are not worth your time. Let them be. They will get bored and leave.”
Daeron, a 19-year-old who went to college on a fencing scholarship, disagreed.
“Leave him alone,” Daeron snarled at the boy, “I am not his boyfriend, but I don’t like others bullying my nephew.”
“Get lost, faggot.” The boy clearly didn't take this polite and handsome blonde seriously, “You are just as pathetic as little Joff here. What do you say, Velaryon? Admit that you sucked the coach’s cock to get your position.”
Joffrey clenched his fist, but he knew now was not the time to lash out. He could have lost his place on the team if he was found engaging in street fights. Unfortunately, Daeron didn't share his thoughts. The blonde let go of Joffrey’s hand and punched the boy straight in the face in the blink of an eye. Years of fencing training made him strong and swift, so he easily knocked down three boys of the gang before the fourth kicked him on the shin. Daeron hissed and lost his balance, kneeing down on the ground while the attacker was about to launch another punch.
That was when Joffrey kicked the boy from Daeron’s sight, grabbed his soulmate’s hand again, and ran.
“We can take them all, Joffrey!” Daeron yelled, “Teach them a good lesson so they won’t bother you again!”
“Shut up!” Joffrey yelled back, “You might have just cost me my football career!”
It turned out that Joffrey was half right. He was banned from the field for the next three games, but the boy who mocked him first was kicked out of the team. Daeron thought this was a win, but Joffrey couldn't be more furious. He didn't need Daeron to make his decision for him. If he wanted to continue playing football while still having Daeron as his soulmate, soon or later there would be another bully. Joffrey could never shake off the allegations of being a faggot, even though he didn't see himself as one. Sure, he slept in the same bed with Daeron sometimes and shared a few morning kisses, but that was only for health purposes.
Joffrey was sick of this. He didn't want to be called Daeron’s little boyfriend. He wanted an identity of his own, not as Daeron’s attachment.
So he called in sick, turned off his cell, and locked himself in his room. His mother would be so worried about him but luckily, Rhaenyra was on a trip to Pentos. His brothers, Jace and Luke, stayed in their respective college dorms. Joffrey was alone in the house, and he fucking liked it.
Joffrey was curious about how long he could stay away from Daeron before his body shut down. He knew all the symptoms and signs, but he was just curious whether or not he could live on his own without Daeron.
A day passed, then another, and another, soon Joffrey lost count of the days he kept himself in the room. He still ate, frozen pizzas and or beans on toast, but he hadn't been able to leave the bed since the day before yesterday. The extreme fatigue hit him like a drowning wave, making his every limb heavy as lead, unable to even lift his finger. He might have a fever, Joffrey thought, for he was sweaty at one moment and shivering at the next. He began to slip in and out of consciousness, like he was living in a continuous dream.
Would he die? What would mother think if she returned home to his corpse? Why hadn't Jace and Luke called? Did they trust Daeron so much to take care of their brother so they didn't have to? Why hadn’t Daeron come? Soulmates could sense each other’s feelings to some extent. There was no way Daeron didn’t notice Joffrey’s frustration and despair. Why hadn't he come?
“Open the door, Joffrey Velaryon, you crazy little fuck! Or I will break it down!”
Joffrey must have gone mad to hear things. Even if this was real, he was too weak to open the door now.
Five seconds later, with a loud bang, Joffrey’s bedroom door was kicked open, revealing a furious Daeron with disheveled hair and wrinkled shirt. Daeron threw a death glare with blood-shot eyes at Joffrey as soon as he saw the brunette teenager on the bed.
“Are you fucking mad? Going off grid for a week? Jace almost strangled me because he thought somehow, I was at fault. I can't even start to talk about my fucking rashes. Do you know they form on my balls too?”
Joffrey chuckled. For some reason, he chuckled.
“Move your ass, brat.” Daeron spat, shoving Joffrey to the side before lying down on the bed with his shoes on.
“What are you doing?” Joffrey asked, too weak to struggle.
“RECHARGE.” Daeron said with gritted teeth, “Someone decided to turn off his phone and dwell on his teen angst. I will let you know I have given you enough time to dwell on your misery. Now I want my normal life back.”
“I thought normal life meant without each other,” Joffrey said as Daeron took him into the blonde’s arms, “that’s what I have been trying to do in the past week.”
“Well, it didn't work.” Daeron brushed a strand of damp curls from Joffrey’s face, “Are you still so naive as to think we can stay apart, ever?”
Joffrey closed his eyes, and let the tears fall. Daeron was right. They could never get rid of each other in this life. They were cursed by the damn soul marks forever and ever.
Joffrey and Daeron married each other as soon as Joffrey finished college. He had made his first professional debut at Harrenhal FC this past summer, and now he and his husband officially moved to the Riverlands. Rhaenyra was reluctant to let Joffrey go, but she knew she had to let her little boy fly. Fortunately, Daeron was willing to accompany him. Despite being a fencing star in most of his school days, Daeron decided to pursue the career of a lawyer after graduation. He resigned his job at King’s Landing and found a new one as an attorney assistant in Maidenpool due to him and Joffrey’s condition.
Today marked the one-year anniversary of them moving to a nice lake house near God’s Eye.
They had a nice dinner with wine, chatted about their lives, argued about which team had better chance at winning the Champions Cup (Daeron rooted for Old Town, which Joffrey scoffed and rolled his eyes), and watched a movie on the couch.
Joffrey still had one week to go before he went back to the training field, so he was determined to make good use of it. He ate half a carton of ice cream and drank three glasses of wine before lying contentedly on top of Daeron, tipsy and in a food coma. As he grew older, Joffrey had learned to make peace with his fate. He tried to accommodate Daeron’s schedule as much as possible, and Daeron did the same for him. They had found a comfortable balance now, so his life turned out not to be as intolerable as he had expected. After they got married, they found another thing about the soul bond that could benefit them both. They found out that sex could allow them to stay apart for longer. One round of sex and they were able to stay apart for about 10 days. It came in handy when Joffrey was on an away game or when Daeron had to go on business trip.
Daeron played with Joffrey’s curls absently as the movie went on. They were both warm from the alcohol, satisfied and ready to drift to sleep at any moment.
“How’s your relationship with the new girl going?” Joffrey asked before yawning, “What’s her name? Betty? She looks nice.”
They both agreed that they could seek other lovers as long as they let each other know.
“Bethany.” Daeron said, still playing with Joffrey’s hair, “We went to the pub for a few times.”
“And?” Joffrey lifted his head, placing his jaw on Daeron’s shoulder, “Nothing happened?”
“No.” Daeron shook his head, “I didn’t…We think it’s better to stay as friends.”
“Oh,” Joffrey planted a wet kiss on Daeron’s cheek, “you poor boy.”
“Stop. You have wine breath.” Daeron frowned and pretended to be offended, but his smile betrayed his feelings.
“That makes two of us.” Joffrey kissed Daeron again. He was too drunk to think straight. He kept kissing Daeron while grinding his hips again the blonde. Daeron’s arms were around him in an instant, and soon Joffrey found himself straddling Daeron with his pajama rolled up to his chest.
“Don’t leave a mark.” Joffrey warned, but it was too late. Daeron had already bitten down on his nipple hard enough to draw blood.
“Why? You have somewhere to be?”
Joffrey couldn't answer, because he was busy moaning and cursing Daeron for the blonde’s talented tongue on his body. Joffrey had lost count how many times they spent their night like this, cuddled on the couch, watching a movie they picked at random. But all those nights ended up in passionate sex. They were merciless towards each other. They were too familiar with each other’s body to know exactly how to cause the most reaction.
Daeron slid a hand into Joffrey’s pants and cupped the brunette’s butt, kneading, grabbing and slapping, making Joffrey jolt every time his palm hit Joffrey’s skin.
Joffrey kissed Daeron aggressively on the lips, biting the tip of Daeron’s tongue. Being intimate with your soulmate was a euphoric thing, skin against skin, tongue against tongue and cock against cock. Joffrey remembered the first time Daeron fucked him. The blonde’s cock was only half in when Joffrey came messily on Daeron’s stomach. It hurt like hell but the intimacy, and the adrenaline rush was unlike anything he had experienced before.
“Let me grab the condoms.” Daeron said against Joffrey’s lips before trying to push the brunette off his lap, but Joffrey wouldn't barge.
“No,” Joffrey said, too drunk to care, “do it bareback. I don't care.”
Daeron’s eyes narrowed, the light violet becoming so dark that it almost mirrored Joffrey’s own obsidian ones. He pulled off Joffrey’s pants and pushed one finger in the brunette’s hole without warning, earning a surprised shriek from Joffrey.
The sex was violently good. Joffrey knew it was a strange thing to say, but he couldn’t find better words to describe it. Daeron kept the condoms and the lube in their bedroom drawer, and since Joffrey refused to let him go, Daeron had to spread his spit on his cock before thrusting in. Even though Joffrey had gotten used to a cock inside his butt, lack of lubrication still made him wince with pain. He would have lost his interest if he was with anyone else, but not with Daeron.
“Are you okay, Joff? Did I hurt you?”
“Yes,” Joffrey hissed, “you almost split my butt in half. But don't you dare stop.”
Daeron chuckled and began to thrust. Joffrey didn’t know how it ended, because he passed out during round three. He just remembered waking up on the bed, wrapped in sheets and fresh like a newborn baby, and Daeron greeted him with a kiss and coffee in bed.
Joffrey could get used to this.
“Are you sure you are ok with this?” Joffrey asked anxiously, “My teammates’ wives will all be there. They will call you a football wife too.”
“At least I am prettier than most of them.” Daeron joked, eyes on the road as he drove to the stadium, “Relax. I won’t embarrass you.”
“That’s not what I am talking about.” Joffrey sighed. He thought his meaning was clear. If Daeron showed up in his booth today, there would be no going back. Daeron would be forever associated with Joffrey. He would forever be known as Joffrey’s lawyer husband, instead of a successful criminal attorney. Was Daeron willing to make such sacrifice?
“I know, Joff.” Daeron glanced at Joffrey and smiled, “I want to show my support in your booth.”
“Even when I am playing against Old Town?”
“Hmm, maybe not Old Town.”
“Jerk.” Joffrey slapped Daeron’s arm, but not unkindly.
They had been married for seven years now. For most couples, it would mean the lack of passion, increasing life stress, kids, financial difficulties, etc. Joffrey had heard that the seventh year recorded the highest divorce rate. Not for him, though. If anything, he and Daeron seemed to be more comfortable around each other. They had stopped talking about other love interest for almost five years now. Neither of them mentioned the change, as if talking about it would make it real. They had also developed a comfortable routine splitting house chores and making time for each other like a real married couple.
Joffrey had played for Harrenhal FC for two years before transferring to KL United. They didn’t move back to the city, choosing to stay at a house near Maidenpool where Daeron had opened his own office. Despite the new stage of their relationship, Daeron had never showed up at the stadium to watch Joffrey play. Again, the reason was the same. Acknowledging it would make it real.
“Are you sure?” Joffrey grabbed Daeron’s wrist before the blonde could open the car door, “It’s your last chance. You can still drive off and nobody will know you have been here.”
“I am sure.” Daeron flipped his wrist, taking Joffrey’s hand and intertwining their fingers together, “Are you?”
Joffrey swallowed. Was he? Was he ready to remind the public that Daeron, this handsome man, was truly his husband and soulmate?
Daeron waited patiently for Joffrey’s answer. Joffrey couldn’t help but remember their first meeting. Both of them were silly kids back then, recovering from a bad cold because they had been weakened without their soulmate. Daeron had pushed Joffrey to the floor because Joffrey was sitting on his comic book. Their first impression was the worst.
See how far they had come.
“Joffrey?”
“I am sure.” Joffrey said, determination clear in his eyes, “I want you in the crowd to support me.”
“Let’s go then.” Daeron smiled, and to Joffrey’s great surprise, the blonde leaned in and kissed him on the lips. The kiss was tender and chaste, like a promise.
They never kissed unless absolutely necessary. Certainly not in a public parking lot.
“Right.” Joffrey smiled back, his heart swelled, “Let’s go.”
FIN
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bestbonnist · 1 year
Text
Chapter 171.1
The battle between the immortals is played for laughs, but the way that each of their arguments is connected to their core character traits makes me think it's indicative of more deeply ingrained conflicts. Let's break it down!
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Tonari's same old same old. She feels indebted to the people she loves, Fushi especially, and believes that if she wants to be around them, she needs to be able to pull her weight. She doesn't think she has any helpful skills apart from a base level of poison resistance, so that's what she focuses on. Tonari puts a lot of emphasis on how "useful" it is when she dies, on whether or not her death helped her friends or not. She puts herself down and uses herself like a tool for the sake of the people she loves.
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Gugu is similar to Tonari in that he uses his body like a tool for the benefit of his friends. As an impoverished, abandoned child—also very similar to Tonari—Gugu thought his only attribute was physical labor, especially after he had his accident and from his point of view, lost his humanity. Gugu got into his accident in the first place because he put himself in harm's way to save Rynn. It's a mark of how little he values his safety.
The main difference between Gugu and Tonari, in this case, is that Tonari sees herself the same as other people, which is to say: bad. Humanity is all a bunch of assholes, and she's no different. Her friends are the rare exception. Whereas Gugu sees all of humanity as fundamentally good. And Gugu, being a monster, is below them. So Gugu is willing to lay down his life for everyone, and Tonari is willing to do it for the people she loves (yes I know she literally says she does it "for everyone" but she's only talking about the people in the park with her).
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Messar says that he's enjoying his life but he keeps dying in horrible ways. He froze to death nine fucking times and hasn't learned his lesson. Is that really enjoyable? It seems more like he's disguising a disregard for his own well-being as freedom. And as Hylo says, he has no purpose, so he's just kind of stagnant right now. It's, uh... It's giving depression.
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If Messar is too hedonistic, then Hylo is too restrained. By setting goals for himself, like saving all of Renryrr or becoming a baker, he's able to get a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that makes him happy. But he has no chill. Those goals are the will to live that he thinks are so important. Without those goals, he's no different than Messar. Only Messar is able to find the worth of moments spent doing nothing.
This is also literally the same shit they said in Chapter 165.1. This argument has been going on for five hundred years.
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Messar "left unhappiness back in Renryrr," referring to when Alme died. His reason for living was to protect her, he was literally unable to move after she died and got killed by a knocker. Moving on is all well and good, but if his recklessness is any indication, he hasn't moved on at all, he's just trying not to think about it. As Hylo—who has actually done the work to move forward after the loss of his foster mother—points out, you can't really call that happy. Hylo is so harsh on Messar because he used to be aimless as well. But Hylo found something to pursue in the Renryrr arc and Messar isn't even looking.
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In her first life, March agreed to be sacrificed because it was the way to keep the most people safe. She didn't want her friend or her little sister and their parents to be hurt, so she went along with Hayase's plan. She also died saving Parona's life. At this point in time her idea of a good life/good death was similar to Tonari's and Gugu's—that is, to use her death to make the people she loves happy. But as a ghost, she saw firsthand how much her death affected Parona. Being dead wasn't better for the people around her like she thought it was. Now the way she doesn't make everyone sad is by staying alive. She encourages others to do the same, as seen in this chapter when she chastises Messar for not taking care of himself.
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March also takes this into account during important decisions, like when Fushi consults their friends on whether they should take the Beholder's powers or not and she calmly tells them that the choice is theirs. A huge difference from the time she freaked out when they told her they would be losing consciousness indefinitely at the end of the previous era. March's way of living is at odds with Tonari and Gugu's way of dying, but they're all dedicating themselves to the people they love.
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Bon doesn't get involved in arguments, ever since the Renryrr arc he's relegated himself to a mediator/advisor role. He avoids having any contrary opinions and goes with what will placate the most people. I can't say much more about him because he almost never gives away what he's really thinking (sadly he is not a perspective character anymore), but this is definitely a continuing pattern. It's a shame because he's actually pretty good at decision making, although he stepped down due to the number of poor choices he made during the Renryrr arc.
Kai, and Eko don't care very much about the best death argument, which doubles as a "whose life has the most meaning" argument. I wonder if it's because they found a reason to live by working as mechanics and transferring their good points to people within the system, so they don't feel as insecure about it.
Well, that's that! I think their squabbling was a neat way to introduce the issues that'll be explored in this arc and to show how Fushi's friends have adjusted to immortality. The doll point blank asks them why they're alive, and in a roundabout way she gets an answer: they're alive to die.
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gregorsamsairl · 5 months
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Nietzsche and Nihilism
If there's one thing that really grinds my gears it's when people treat Nietzsche as some sort of face of nihilism. I think anyone who is well-versed in Nietzsche's work would agree that the guy is definitely not a nihilist, as he is very openly against it in almost all his works.
I believe this misunderstanding of Nietzsche's philosophy mostly comes from the averages person's understanding of worth.
When Nietzsche said, "God is dead," he was referring to the objective meaninglessness of the world. A lot of people take this at face value, understanding objective meaninglessness as absolute meaninglessness. However, this is not the point Nietzsche was trying to make at all.
In our age of enlightenment values and reason, the western man values objectivity and shuns subjectivity (If you want to read more about the negative effects of enlightenment principles, Max Horkheimer and Theodor W. Adorno's Dialectic of Enlightenment is great). This sort of "facts over feelings" mindset is exactly what led to the nihilist interpretation of Nietzsche being so common. When people read that this guy thinks that objective meaning does not exist, they can't fathom any other meaning existing, because their whole life has been built around putting objectivity on a pedestal, they cannot begin to think about finding anything of significant value through their own subjectivity.
However, this is exactly what Nietzsche is proposing in his work. Objective meaning may be gone, but that does not mean that meaning is impossible, we should instead chose what has meaning to us, based on our own subjectivity. That is what he means when he speaks of the "will to power." My personal understanding of the will to power is simply the desire to be yourself ("simply" is perhaps the wrong word, it's much more nuanced than just "being yourself" but I think it sums it up nicely).
In fact, Nietzsche's main criticism of the modern Christian church was actually that it was "necessarily nihilistic." Modern Christianity puts all its focus on the afterlife. Even if they claim to be worried about being kind and spreading the truth of God, at the end of the day they are only doing that so they can go to heaven when they die. Taking the emphasis off of this life and placing it on the afterlife is precisely what makes modern Christianity nihilistic to its very core.
A notion Nietzsche touches on briefly after his denouncement of modern christianity is that of eternal recurrence. On this, he claims that we should live our lives in such a way that we would be happy to live it over and over again for all eternity. A lot of people dislike this claim, and point out that a lot of people aren't born in circumstances in which they can be happy over and over again (ex: because of poverty, discrimination, political situations). I don't disagree with this at all, there are an incredible amount of people who have to live in situations out of their control which make them unhappy with their life. However, you have to remember that Nietzsche is much more metaphysically inclined. When he says you should live a life you would want to life over and over again, he is more talking about the person you are. You should make choices about your virtues and your morals which would make you happy about the person you are, so much so that you would want to be you over and over again, no matter your external circumstances.
I actually used to hate Nietzsche, as I had only heard of him through this sort of depressed high school boy view that twisted him into a nihilist. However, once I read him for myself, I found his message extremely inspiring, and helped me mentally a lot. The idea of being yourself no matter your circumstances is a beautiful one, and I think it's really sad that most people just view Nietzsche as the nihilism guy.
Remember to be yourself!!!! Nietzsche said so!!!!!!
For anyone who wants to read it, here's a bonus question from an exam that I took this semester where I basically said the same thing as above, but it's worded more concisely I think:
"It is often claimed that Nietzsche is a nihilist and his philosophy is nihilistic in nature. Do you agree with this claim? Indeed what is behind Nietzsche’s denying modern society, traditional values, morality, and Christianity? How would you argue?
I strongly believe that Nietzsche is not a nihilist. In his claim that there are no objective virtues, he is not negating the meaning of human life, he is stating that there are no universal values. I think a lot of the misunderstanding of this claim making Nietzsche a nihilist comes from people's view of subjective vs objective value. Objective values are not inherently more "real" than subjective ones, and I believe this is where the most common mistake is made. Nietzsche advocating for subjective virtues does not make these virtues any less significant than objective ones. Life still has meaning, but it's up to every individual to decides on those virtues for themselves. In Nietzsche's denying of society, traditional values, morality, and Christianity come from his advocation of individuality, and subjective values. He denies society, and Christianity because it values a slave mindset, and thus hatred (ressentiment) of "the other," even denouncing modern Christianity for being "necessarily nihilistic" for focusing on the afterlife rather than our current one. He denies traditional values as well as morality because they are both discussed from a universal, objective standpoint. In all four of these, he does not deny them because they give meaning to life, or because he advocates for people doing whatever they want, he denies them because they take away the existential value of the individual. Thus, I would conclude that Nietzsche is definitely not a nihilist. Life's meaning is not removed when we don't have the guiderails of the objective to tell us how to make choices. If anything, life would have a more personal, passionate meaning when the individual gets to decide for themselves what gives their life meaning."
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lokisprettygirl · 2 years
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Hear me now (Jotun Loki x Female Reader AU) (18+)
Read chapter 20 here //Series Masterlist
Chapter 21
Summary : Loki confronts Priscilla about her lies. You find a life changing truth about yourself.
Trigger Warning : alcohol abuse, mention of diseases, talk of pregnancy, toxic relationship
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You woke up with a headache and groaned. You drank last night and now you were regretting it "Should have drank water you dumbass" you grumbled to yourself as you got out of the bed, you had to work and you didn't think you'd be able to do it today.
Your chest hurt as well and you didn't understand the reason for it. It has been happening for a month now, at first it was mild but now you get sharp pains once in a while. You have read before that people have actually died of a broken heart, but if you had death coming for you , you would have died sooner than this.
You took a shower and got ready, you looked like utter crap as you looked at yourself in the mirror before you left for work.
"Are you sick?" Natasha asked you as you both sat down for lunch but you felt nauseated enough to not want to eat.
"I am..just hungover" she gave you a look of disappointment as she heard that.
"It's been two months. By the way did you hear a response from him, for the card that you sent on Christmas?" She asked you and your eyes teared up, you did have a dream where he whispered a I love you after he saw the card but dreams are not real. You weren't expecting a response from him, you were also regretting sending it now that you didn't hear from him, he must think of you as so desperate. And god forbid If Priscilla got her hands on it before him, it would ruin their relationship again.
"Look y/n you had a chance to snatch him away, he loved you and a little persuasion would have made him come crawling to you"
"I can't do that to his family" and you didn't feel worthy of being with a god anyways. The villagers looked at him like a superior being and you shouldn't have gotten a chance to even get in his presence let alone be someone he chose to love.
"Exactly..since you wanted to be a nice person and shit, be that person, commit to it"
You nodded as she said that, she truly wished things didn't have to be like that, she never wanted you to be so unhappy again but this was the truth now. He was gone and living his life with his perfect family.
"What if he's not happy there, what if he's sad?" You asked her and she sighed
"If he was he would be here, Just get back to work" she tapped on your shoulder as she got up in a comforting manner. When you went home, you made a cup of tea and snuggled Cat on the couch. It was Sunday tomorrow and you didn't have to work.
You could just stay here and sulk. You felt your chest burning again and a fit of cough started. You were definitely getting sick with something you could tell, maybe a pneumonia, you have had that before but you can't afford to be sick right now. You placed your hand on your mouth to not cough all over Cat and when you looked at your hand, it had blood spots splattered on it.
"Well that's not normal now is it?"
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Loki wanted to see what Priscilla was doing behind his back again so a week after the New years he followed her again into the city. She chose a different cafe today, she was wearing a new dress, but that's not the dress she had on when she left the house. He saw her stopping at a reststop to change.
He sat down on the station inside the cafe and had his back turned towards her, she wouldn't recognise him in this form anyways.
He looked like a midgardian, albeit a handsome one, his eyes were green, skin white, this is the appearance he gave him when he was kidnapped as a toddler. The marks gave him a distinct look and without them he was unrecognizable, besides Priscilla had never seen this form before.
He waited for the man he saw two weeks ago to arrive but he was surprised to see it was some different man, a new man. They talked, had a drink and then they were off to go somewhere so he followed them, he stayed behind to not look suspicious and they stopped outside a hotel. He didn't need to go inside to know what they planned to do in there.
So she was sleeping with different men every week? That filled him with disgust. He went home and worked on his garden to take his mind off it. He decided that he'd confront her today when she gets home. She had a child, was she even thinking about him?
He wondered what you were doing at that very moment, since the past few days he has had a weird feeling about you, as if you were hurting yourself on purpose and that you were severely ill. But if that was true Bruce would call him, he promised that he would.
When Priscilla returned, she went straight to get showered. Normally he never put hands on her personal belongings but he was curious, there were grocery bags that she brought back but he grabbed her purse and opened it. He found a wad of cash, crisp dollar bills. She told him that villagers raised funds for her but when he asked Darcy and Debra they denied doing that for her.
He also met Brutus find out why he wasn't selling his meat to them anymore and he started crying, apologizing frantically as soon as he saw Loki. He didn't understand why he was doing that, he asked several times but Brutus didn't reveal anything to him, just begged for his forgiveness.
When she came out of the bathroom he got up from the bed.
"Something wrong?" She asked him and he glared at her,
"You tell me Dear wife" he smiled but his eyes were teary, he felt so many things all at once but he didn't feel any care or concern for her anymore.
"I don't understand " she feigned innocence so he walked towards her,
"Of Course you don't, I followed you today" her eyes widened as he said that
"What do you mean? " her eyes teared up at the revelation
"What did you hear? I followed you and I know why you go into the city" she gasped and started hyperventilating almost immediately.
"No no no Loki I can explain I promise"
"Oh sure do, that's what I am eager for you to divulge" He smiled and grabbed her hand. She flinched a little thinking that he'd hurt her but he has never done that before and he wasn't going to start now. He walked her over to the bed and made her sit down.
"Explain now"
He pulled a chair out from the corner of the room, dragged it all the way to place it in front of her and sat down on it.
"I just.. I have been seeing him while you were gone, I was lonely and hurt" her lips trembled as she spoke.
"Him? But two weeks prior it was a different man, how many are there?" He asked her so casually, his voice remained calm as if he didn't care at all.
"You don't get to judge me Loki, you slept with that whore for months" his jaw clenched when she disrespected you again. She was lucky she was a woman and he still cared about the mother of the child they were raising together.
"I did.. but I stopped and let her go when I remembered that I had a life here with you, I pulled my heart out of my chest and stomped on it for you. I hurt the most important girl in my life, the girl that went above and beyond to save me. I broke the girl that loved me unconditionally just so I could do the right thing. I did it all because I thought we had something here, I thought we were a family" his eyes welled up so he blinked and let the tears fall down, his vision got blurry.
"We are family Loki, you are my husband and Alvis is your son"
"Is that why you have been whoring yourself to the city men?" He asked her as he crossed his arms and she gasped. She didn't have anything to say as she knew he wasn't wrong. "For what? For money? So you could indulge yourself with all these materialistic things?" He questioned again and all of a sudden she got angry.
"Yes..yes that's why I did it and I have been doing it for years you blind fool" she stood up and towered over him then she walked towards him and cupped his cheeks.
"You are so trusting, you always trusted me but I like money and I like buying things for myself and my son. Is it wrong to want things? Not everyone can live like a caveman the way you do" he was hurt, so hurt. He ruined you and what he had with you for her and she didn't have any sense of respect for him.
"You just had to open your mouth and ask for it Priscilla, I would have given you everything in the world, that's what I promised to give you when we got tied together, you are not doing it just for the money are you? You despise me and the way I choose to live, you hate me"
She snickered as he gritted his teeth while he spoke. He was so frustrated.
"You also fucked Brutus that's why you couldn't go get meat from him, didn't you?" Her silence was the enough answer he needed. How many men she slept with in the village. He felt humiliated.
"I'm done with you and this burden of a marriage, I'm not doing this anymore, I have been killing myself in these past two months just to make you happy and I am not ruining myself any further" he got up from the chair as he had to get out of this house. He couldn't bear to even look at her. He wanted to go to that one place he felt peace at, a little lake down the hill where he always spent his time whenever he was feeling restless. He named it as his own Valhalla on earth.
He'd often just go there, meditate for hours and come back when he started to feel okay. And he desperately needed it today. He turned around to leave but he heard her voice again.
"You can't leave me, Alvis is your son" he turned to look at her and chuckled
"I sure as hel won't leave him Priscilla, I'm going to take care of him because I know you are too busy with your job to take care of him properly but both of us know very well that he's not my son" her eyes teared up as he threw that in her face after three years of marriage.
"Ohhhh so finally you are showing your true colors, and I must say it's uglier than your skin" she spat venomous words and he was shocked to say that least.
"My true colors huh? You sure know why I even married you, there was no love between us, I didn't even know you for Norns sake. And I should have kept it that way because this woman in front of me? She disgusts me" She walked towards him and pushed him away with her hands.
"You gave him your name Loki and he's yours now whether you want it or not"
"I can take as I give you foolish woman. You fooled me with your act of innocence, you told me the lies even back then didn't you? You got pregnant with Andrew's baby and you told me that he betrayed you, that you didn't know that he was going to leave, but that's a lie too isn't it?" He asked her and she chuckled. He was starting to connect the dots.
"You knew people in the village would frown upon you, they would alienate you once they find out the truth so you came to me, begging and threatening to kill yourself along with the child in you, that's why I married you, that's why I gave him my name so you could live a normal life, well as normal as you can in this village. But you always wanted more, and you should get it. I'm freeing you from the bounds now, go insane for all I care" She screamed as his words hurt her, she needed him, she needed the house to come back to. He can't just leave her.
"You can't leave Loki, I'm pregnant again" she whimpered and he chuckled in response. He didn't even know this woman.
"No you are not, stop lying to me, it's not working anymore" he grabbed his shawl and turned around to leave but what she said stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Well then go..you useless pathetic filthy creature. I was so sick of living with you anyways, you are not even a real man, real men can at least provide money for their women"
He slowly turned towards her as the words hit him finally. He knew where he heard them before.
"Ohh you know I fucked her behind your back? she told me where you were, only she knew about it, isn't that correct? She was so sick of being with you, poor woman, she wanted a real man.. like me, a man with real money and that's what I gave her''
His heart sank and his gut screamed at him as he realised the scarring truth about his wife. Rogers wasn't trying to rile him up with a lie that day, he was telling him the truth. He was talking about Priscilla.
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You sat down in the waiting room, the coughing of the blood did scare you a little so you decided to get yourself tested. They took your blood and got the chest scans done because you complained of recurring sharp pain.
"Miss y/n? Please come in" Doctor Wanda invited you after your reports came back so you stepped inside her office and sat down in front of her.
"How are you feeling right now y/n?" She asked you and you smiled a little.
"I am okay, I do feel the pain though" she nodded and sighed.
"Well I have your reports here and I don't want to beat around the bush as your condition is deteriorating rapidly. According to the scan and bloodwork, you have stage two carcinoma and for the treatment you–" you cut her off mid sentence as you didn't understand the term.
"Wait what? What is carcinoma?" You asked her as you chuckled but your eyes teared up when you heard her response.
"You are suffering from stage two lung cancer y/n"
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oysters-aint-for-me · 21 hours
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(Tw fictional suicide) Omg fellow Good Place finale disliker? I don't like how it resolves literally every problem in the afterlife and gives the main characters anything they want for as long as they want it, up to and including inventing Suicide 2 in case they get bored of eternal happiness. It's an unsatisfying ending for me after so much of the show was about how human life is short and imperfect.
oooh my god like i said don't even get me STARTED on why i hated the good place finale EXCEPT I WILL
okay so like you said - i hated that the solution to the afterlife was literally just eternal bliss plus the Suicide 2 Electric Boogaloo Door. like. that solved no problems, really. people cannot live in eternal bliss without it become not blissful at some point. and the solution to that CAN'T just be "go through the suicide door!" because oh my god that is SO SIMPLE and also, like, would make the people left behind sad, which would mean life wasn't blissful for them anymore, making it no longer the good place, you know? like...life has to be a LITTLE hard in order for the moments of joy to be, well, enjoyable. i really believed that the writers knew this and that the solution to the good place wouldn't be just "heaven with the option to die at the end"
second of all they did NOTHING to revamp the points system. people "on earth" were judged by the exact same parameters that had been the problem in the first place. the points system was flawed. in SO MANY WAYS. and the show acknowledged those ways! and yet. it stayed exactly the same.
my third and biggest problem with the ending was the "series of trials" that they decided to put everyone through after their "first life" on earth. you know, like, someone would live on earth, die, and then their points would be their points. then that someone would be tested over and over and over again until they became a better person and got into the good place. i have several issues with that but for now i'll talk about just three
how fucked up is that?! think of all the times the main four humans learned that they were actually in the bad place, or actually being tested, or whatever. they were ALWAYS unhappy about it. OF COURSE. also - they almost always figured it out. so they're just expecting no one else to pick up on a scheme that someone picked up on ALMOST EVERY TIME in beta? with no improvements?
in one episode, in the middle of all the reboots, they're at mindy st. claire's medium place house after they've figured out (again) that they're actually being tortured and rebooted. chidi says to eleanor something like "this is an epistemological nightmare. we keep getting rebooted so we can't actually learn anything because we can't remember." AND YET THAT IS EXACTLY THE SOLUTION HE PROPOSES - the series of trials after death, the rebooting, all of it. and everyone agrees to it. they only add the caveat that people will be able to hear a "little voice" that tells them to do the right thing, and that "little voice" will learn over time - but that feels like a cop out. that doesn't actually help US HUMANS who are WATCHING THE SHOW improve
the solution doesn't fix anything on earth! everyone on earth can go on being an asshole or whatever, or trying to be good and ultimately failing, and the world will just keep getting worse, while people improve ONLY in the afterlife through their series of trials?! come ON. you're just making a million multiverses for each person that dies while completely ignoring what is happening on earth. the earth is unimportant in the good place finale. no one gets better there, no one learns. okay, fine, whatever, earth sucks - except earth is where the VIEWERS of the SHOW live, and we'd like to learn how to be good in a world that is increasingly too complicated to support being good, thank you very much.
i guess my thing is like, how does the ending help US? what does it teach US about doing good on earth, with all its confusion and complications? all it teaches us is to "listen to the little voice," but real ethics isn't as simple as that. REAL moral problems aren't as simple. i guess maybe i was expecting too much from a network sitcom, but i really felt like i'd been tricked or something. i thought i was watching something more intelligent than it really was.
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sage-knight · 7 months
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So now that Phantom Liberty is actually out, the old leak was definitely wrong or changed. And the new ending has my little Vik-shipper wheels turning even more. Uhh spoilers for the new ending option.
The V is an npc ending. The monkey's paw ending. It's been interesting reading reactions because either it's the most depressing ending out of all of them, or it's the best ending. It's been two years, V is cured, but is just a regular person now, they can't use all their old chrome anymore, and all/most of their friends from the game have moved on. Like really moved on, they think you ghosted them (which is a weird contrivance for another post. Like really? You couldn't send Panam or Judy an e-mail?) Then again, friends moving on is too real.
Whatever, this is about Vik, old man, loml. Without you around, he finally caves and sells out. The clinic has been sold to Zetatech and is now just a cold shell of what it was. Soulless. He is surviving (resigned) but clearly a little broken. The first thing you notice when you walk in is he's got to wear proper regulation PPE (lol). Gone are his old greaser mechanic duds, though he still has the sunglasses.
They piled the pressure on, V. I mean, anonymous threats of arson included, over and over. I ran out of options, had to do what was best for the clinic.
I just got tired, V. The tide's strong, so strong I just can't resist it anymore.
The dialogue continues. And he's the same Vik, but he's become so dang cynical. Resigned to how things have to be. And I guess if you're just a regular person in this universe that's what happens when you live long enough to watch everyone around you die or get punished for fighting against the tide. It is a sad ending, he's clearly unhappy - who wouldn't be losing your autonomy to a big corporation and basically becoming a customer service punching bag. For a while he had found a good place, but the city always wins. The corporations always win.
So yes, it's the cynical ending. But it's also the one that feels depressingly real to me. I think if you want hope you go with the nomads. If you want to go out like a badass feeling on top of the world, you go with one of the Johnny/Rogue endings.
My V originally went with Arasaka, because despite how much she hates them, it's the devil (heh) you know. Then she ended up rejecting their offer and coming back to earth, because despite it being a death sentence she can die in control, on her own terms, her original self.
Go out a legend, or die old and a nobody. My V never wanted to be a legend, that was Jackie's dream. I think there's something hopeful about surviving, and finding a new purpose.
The dialogue with Vik ends on a handshake, like the one where you first meet him in the opening cinematics, but here he's unhappy and you're the only ones left, compared to the opening which is full of hope, new beginnings, and friends. Ugh. This ending really punched me in the gut.
V is a survivor. She's already had two lives, she can do it again. Her and Vik are in the same boat now. Fanfic to give that man a hug 2023.
You know what Jackie said to me the day Arasaka burned me? That they did me a favor. I wouldn't leave my old life, and they made the choice for me. Seems it's happened again.
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