#it's just something i think i should keep track of

[winterrrnight]

rafe loves to hear you talk and talk about things you are so passionate about… <3 a rafe x reader blurb <3 cw: reader is chatty and rambl-y and is insecure about it, in this scenario reader is extremely passionate about japanese legends, lovesick rafe + casually dominant rafe, intentional lower case <3 just something for me to post after a small break as I work on other projects <3 for @zyafics who is one of the biggest reasons I am feeling motivated to write again <3

“oh here’s another one I read about yesterday!” you say excitedly as rafe squeezes your intertwined hands, smiling at you.

“mhm go on,” he smiles as you both continue to walk on the sidewalk, the full moon shining bright down at the two of you.

“this one is about the red thread of fate, this thread connects two soulmates,” you smile at him. he looks at you with his eyebrows slightly raised.

“connects two soulmates?” he echoes, and you nod.

“yeah,” you say. “it’s said there is a man who lives on the moon who comes to earth to show people their futures and who they’ll end up with. he does that with the help of the red thread of fate. he ties this invisible red thread between the two people who are meant to be together. this thread can tangle over the huge distance between the two people, it can stretch, but it will never ever break, and it will always tighten to bring those two people together.

“it also talks about the existence of a red pencil which can trace this invisible red thread, and this pencil gets shorter with its usage.

“oh and, this thread is always tied between the pinkies of the two people. that is because it was discovered a long time ago that our heart is connected to our pinky finger by an artery, which is now called the ‘ulnar artery’. this artery carries oxygenated blood from our heart to our pinky. so, in a way, our heart is directly linked to our pinkies via this artery, so when we make a pinky promise, we are basically connecting our hearts while making the promise. and that is why the invisible red thread of fate is also connecting our pinkies, because it is basically connecting the hearts of the soulmates, and–”

you take a look to your left at rafe, who’s looking down at the sidewalk as you both walk. you got so absorbed in talking you don’t even know if he is still listening or if he has tuned you out. honestly, who can blame him? since you keep on talking too much, anyone would quickly tune you out.

“oh god i’m doing it again aren’t i?” you say nervously as you stop in your tracks on the sidewalk, causing rafe to stop too. he eyes you with furrowed brows and creases on his forehead.

the actual truth is, rafe was thinking about tying a red thread to your pinkies when you both get home, his mind racing on where he can actually find some red thread in his house.

“doing what?” rafe asks softly.

“the, the ramble thing, where i just talk and talk till my mouth falls off,” you sigh, looking down. “I do that way too much, i don’t even know if you want to hear it or not but I just start speaking with no seeming end to my talk whatsoever, and you have to force yourself to listen to it because you got stuck being my boyfriend. and then i just keep on talking without thinking, it’s like my mouth has a mind of its own, I really should start to think–”

you are immediately cut off with rafe’s lips on yours, your eyes widening as you try to adjust to what is happening. rafe’s free hand comes to rest on your cheek to pull you even closer into the kiss, and your eyes flutter shut, letting you get lost in the feeling of him.

rafe gently pulls apart from the kiss, his eyes barely open as he gazes down at you.

“listen to me…” he says softly. “you don’t talk too much. I love hearing you talk. I love the cute expressions you make when you talk about things you are passionate about. I love how much knowledge you have about them and how you want to share it with me. I love the shine in your eyes when you start to talk, and the shine is even brighter under the moonlight. never ever apologize for talking too much because I won’t hear it, and you’ll only end up getting kissed by me each time. you get it?”

you look up in rafe’s eyes with a stunned expression. for the first ever time, you are at a loss of words, and all you can do is nod.

he smiles softly at you, as his thumb caresses your cheek. “words, baby, you hear me?” he says softly.

“yeah…” you let out. “I hear you,”

“good,” he mumbles. “never apologize again, okay?”

“okay,” you whisper.

he presses a soft kiss to your forehead and tugs on your hand gently, both of you now walking again. “come on, continue what you were saying,” he says, urging you to continue about the legend you were talking about.

you nod as you clear your throat before resuming to tell him more, this time not allowing even a single thought to let you stop as the stream of words spills from your lips, and rafe only listens in awe, loving hearing what it is you have to tell him.

#hi hi here's a new blurb :) #hope you all like!! <3 #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron concept #rafe cameron prompt #rafe cameron drabble #written by edith! 🪄

[nohoperadio]

That cool bee book I was talking about a while ago mostly refrains from philosophical digressions (which I think is a strength, I appreciated how the author had total confidence that just clearly presenting the facts about his subject would be enough to make a fascinating book without the need for any "...and here's why that should blow your mind" editorializing, and he's totally right), but there was one towards the end I've found myself thinking about a lot, which is: he wants people to stop using "self-consciousness" (i.e. the concept exemplified by the mirror test but used implicitly or explicitly in tons of other contexts) as a criterion for which animals can be considered sentient/morally relevant/having significant inner lives/however you want to describe it. Not, as you might expect, because he thinks it's an unreasonably high bar to meet, but because it's such a low bar that it produces no distinctions: he argues that basically any animal with any kind of developed central nervous system has to have some kind of self-consciousness almost by definition.

The example I remember best is: imagine you can see an object in your visual field getting closer to you. No matter the specifics, it's obviously always going to make a huge difference to how you evaluate this situation whether the cause of the object getting closer is a] the object is moving towards you, or b] you are moving towards the object. If a, then something might be pursuing you or falling on you or a thousand other things that are just not even worth considering in the case of b. But visually the two cases are indistinguishable; if you're going to be able to track the difference, your brain has to be putting at least some work into keeping tabs on what your own intentions are and what choices you're making as you move through the world, predicting the expected consequences of those choices, and maintaining a fairly tidy mental separation between stuff in the world that you're making happen and stuff in the world that's just happening of its own volition. Otherwise, every time you walk towards a rock you'll freak out and think the rock is rolling into you, or vice versa.

And it's not hard to see how this applies to your entire sensory world right, it applies to sounds and tactile sensations and even feelings internal to your body to some extent, if you're going to both perceive the world and take actions in the world then it's mandatory to mentally separate yourself and the world before that's going to yield even an ounce of helpful information, you just can't function successfully on the most basic level if you're processing stuff that you're doing on the same level as stuff that's happening, if you're in that state then you simply don't have a usable model of the world at all, you just have chaos.

So you can very easily eliminate a certain seductive narrative about the evolution of consciousness, which starts with very primitive animals who are mentally processing nothing but basic sensory inputs, then as you rise up the chain more complex animals are forming concepts of objects and building up a more nuanced understanding of the world, until finally you approach humans and the mind becomes so subtle and sophisticated that it gains access to this special advanced meta-level of thought where it can even understand itself! No, the self is precisely the one idea that has to be in place from the very beginning, before any of it has even the most rudimentary practical value. Self-consciousness isn't the pinnacle of the mind's evolution, it's one of the lowest, most basic foundations that everything else builds off of.

I think this is really cool stuff! I don't know enough about the relevant academic philosophy of mind debates to say how far all this does or doesn't speak to that, maybe someone will tell me the "self-consciousness" concept being attacked here is a strawman somehow, I don't know. But it's definitely impacted the way I (just a dumb guy who likes creatures) think about our small small cousins and what their lives might be like and I think it's super interesting. If you think it's interesting too then maybe you wanna buy The Mind of a Bee by Lars Chittka and read it. It's mostly not about this stuff, as I say it's light on philosophy and heavy on bee-life immersion, but if you actually read this whole post then you're probably in the market for that I feel like.

#creatures: they've got a lot going on #I think we'd better just let them get on with it #nohopereadio #uninteresting

[yandere-sins]

How would it be if blade's darling had wanted to contact him, though? Maybe to try and talk about things? They probably wouldn't know about the mind reset kafka does, so when they try to contact him to set up a meeting they think he remembers them.

Oh my god, that just gave me the sweetest of images! Some yandere's love is just so pure, I swear ♥

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Blade didn't really know why he reacted so fast to the unknown sound.

He usually didn't get bothered by that thing in his pocket, a device Kafka made him walk around with, telling him to check it regularly. It pling! and dundun! all day long, notifications appeared on its screen that he didn't usually react to unless someone mentioned him by name. Why would he? He knew his mission; there was no need to be in constant contact with the others.

Bing!

And yet, when a new sound rang in his ears, one he hadn't heard before, Blade stopped dead in his tracks. The guy he was hunting hurdled away, crawling through the pools of blood on the floor while the rain washed away the evidence of battle. Holding his bloody stomach, he watched the Hunter reach into his pocket, picking up his phone, unbothered by the massacre in front of him, almost as if he forgot about his target that took the chance to scramble to his feet, running for his dear life.

Blade gazed at the bright screen, his eyes hurting, but he didn't even notice the pain as he read the latest banner that notified him of a message.

we need to talk

The hairs at the back of his neck stood straight as he read those four words. Blade's mouth ran dry while his breathing stopped. As if he had to hear better, every one of his motions ceased, and the sounds of the constant traffic in the distance vanished. He felt fury build up as raindrops landed on his screen, the words vanishing. Yet he didn't understand why.

Bing! Bing!

He flinched. Even a second time and repeated, this sound differed from when Kafka or Silver Wolf tried to contact him. He didn't remember it ever ringing out before. A slight shake of nervousness went through him, followed by a spark of excitement. Before he knew it, he was reading the message—eager, desperate.

[Location sent]  meet me here tonight, we really have to talk. i want this to end, you have to...

The message preview stopped there, and Blade snapped out of his trance. Slowly, his eyes trudged to the sender's name, but it was only a culmination of unfamiliar numbers. He looked at the time next, and with a twinge of disappointment, he realized it was early noon at best. A shaky breath escaped him, and for the first time since he got the notifications, he looked up into the dark alleyway before him.

It was quiet, no more breathing of his enemies. Yet, he could hear his own blood pounding in his ears and feel the desperate grip on the sword he still clutched onto. It had not been drenched in the blood of his target completely, yet, he didn't feel the yearning of finishing a job.

Instead, Blade felt compelled to go.

Where to, he didn't know. Somewhere, or precisely, where he should go, but he had never opened the message he received with the location. All he knew was that he had to go there. His legs moved on their own, steps splashing in the wet puddles on the ground. By the time he walked out onto the busy street, his sword had vanished, but not that feeling of urgency pushing him forward.

What were those feelings? Why did they keep aggravating him so? His head hurt as the lights of the cars flashed by him, taking in every moment of his pain. He should stop. He had to call Kafka. Something was wrong, and although he couldn't pinpoint it, it would be dangerous to continue on this unfamiliar path on his own.

Reaching into his pocket, he felt the little device vibrate against his fingers, followed by the now-more familiar Bling! he began to dread yet anticipate at the same time.

don't chicken out this time! just come and let's talk... i know you can see my messages

Staring at the message for a moment, he let the phone sink back into his pocket, never bothering to reply. You knew he was going to come, and he would. He wouldn't miss it for anything in this world.

You?

Who?

His legs carried him onwards into the unknown, but something told him that he knew exactly where he could find you, even if he didn't remember. Something inside him knew, and this feeling grew and grew stronger until it robbed him of any reason. There was a pull on him so strong, he couldn't help but pursue it—hunt it.

You, whoever you are, were his next target, and he had to have you. All to himself. Pressed against his marred body, engulfed by his shadow, never to be seen by anyone else again. Never to be touched unless it were his fingers resting gently against your skin, and never to be tasted unless it was on his lips and tongue. If he must devour you to have you all to himself, he would. And he would tear you down and ruin you to the point that no one would dare to take his prey away from him.

Blade had to have you. Savagely, violently. All to himself.

He didn't know who you were or what you wanted from him. Why you contacted him, or how you even knew about this pitiful creature with a heart beating so fast that he felt real fear for its safety inside of him. But he'd find you, have you, and destroy you.

And he couldn't wait to meet you.

#Blade #yandere Blade #yandere!blade #hrs #honkai star rail #yandere hrs #yandere honkai star rail #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

[thegoldenavenger]

Oh lqg getting affected by some sort of pollen or drug or something that absolutely murders inhibitions.

In a boring meeting? Did you know you can just stand up and walk away?

Annoying disciples annoying you? They are weak to qi blasts and honestly making their way back up the mountain is good for them.

Everyone thinks the effects make him blunter and More harsh to deal with somehow, but when he heads over to Qing Jing, as usual, lbh and sqq get to see a different side of him! He kicks open the door like normal and settles in like it's his own home.

He smiles when sqq brings out the tea, he pulls out a fan and gives it to him. When lbh huffily interrupts with snacks lqg pulls out a lovely cooking knife and says it reminded him of lbh.

The knife is sharp and layered with a dark handle. Lbh takes it carefully and lqg cheerily turns his hand to show off an already healing cut, smiling as he point it out. "It bites! Just like you!"

He's a bit more talkative, not overly so, but enough to make it obvious that he's basically just blurting everything that comes up in his head. For sqq, it's fun to track how, in normal circumstances, lqg would refine these half formed sentences into his customary brusque observations and statements. At first teasing the ultimate meaning is a bit difficult, but once sqq gets the pattern down it is a fascinating peak into his shidi's head.

Lbh is in rare form, seemingly speaking just to get lqg to react some more, in a new way his liu-shishu is normally too reserved to act on.

Finally lqg just stands up and grabs lbh's lapel and drags him outside to fight. Not even angry, he's just excited and wants to spar and usually they spar bc they're frustrated with eachother... he wants to enjoy the fight so he decides they'll just fight now.

It's one of the first times they fight just for fun, without any matter of pride or duty as a pretense, which means when lqg loses as usual he isn't actually upset or chagrined at all. It was a good fight and he tells lbh that, gives him a few pointers to refine his technique, is noticeably more casual with his physicality.

Lbh invites him for dinner and lqg agrees and he spends the rest of the evening in the bamboo hut, lbh and sqq fascinated by him. He asks for seconds, he asks sqq to explain some of the history behind more eclectic pieces of decor in the house.

He doesn't hold back on critique either, which is just as unfettered as everything else he says or does at the moment. The fact that his normal levels of harsh are still restrained is a surprise to lbh, who thought lqg didn't hold back when berating him. Turns out, lqg does, in fact, hold a lot back.

He's tired so he accepts sqq's invitation that he sleep in the extra room with them. Sqq is remembering so many psa's about not driving home intoxicated and was prepared to insist.

Lqg settles in and actually sleeps, not meditating or otherwise practicing inedia, he just curls up and sleeps. Lbh doesn't enter his dreams, but skimming the barest edges of them, even they seem wild and unfettered.

I dont have a point here except that lqg acts more like a cat than he usually does as he acts entirely on impulse. There's definitely a scene where lqg has to sleep Not in the safety of sqq's bamboo house and bingqiu get to see him very grumpy about it bc he doesn't feel as safe.

Like, he can't practice inedia for some reason so he has to sleep but his basest instincts tell him he should be alert and guarded. Sqq tries to settle him which doesn't entirely work. It isn't until lbh sits down nearby and settles in to stay awake—he doesn't sleep much normally but with sqq all concerned about lbh he can't even make a pretense at resting beside his shizun—that lqg relaxes enough to settle into a deeper sleep. Bc he trusts lbh to keep an eye out for them!!!

Anyways. He doesn't do anything too embarrassing under the influence besides be more friendly, more blunt, just Unfiltered, masking off. Probably, some of his fellow Peak Lords found him more annoying to deal with (insert scene of a peak lord trailing off their sentence in a meeting bc lqg's face is all blank and expressionless... he just decided exerting the effort to look focused (which reads as scowly on his face) wasn't worth it and stopped forcing emotes) but sqq and lbh found it fascinating! (Maybe a little frustrating)

Idk. I was mostly thinking about the sleeping scene.

#misc #svsss #lqg #once again #he stays rotating on the lazy susan in my mind

[robinfollies]

and we believed ourselves when we said we’d never be alone again 🌼🌈💖

#hi…. march 10th….. three years ago today my insanity started. not that im keeping track or anything lol thatd be weird! #i hate these guys so bad they mean the world to me ☹️💖 #played around with some really maximalist composition for this piece and i think it turned out REAL COOL… I HAD FUN!!! #billie bust up #bbu aristotle #bbu arthur #arthurstotle #robin’s art #2024 art #caption isnt like. song lyrics or anything btw its just something i made up. piece title #maybe i should write a song around it. someday i’ll pick up that guitar again and/or get a keyboard….

[starbuck]

various thoughts:

i would like to have a significant other

i would like to develop my personality a bit more before meeting a significant other

i should wait until after top surgery before even considering seeing anyone bc i’m gonna be much happier and more confident after that

i want to know my local area better

i NEED more pretentious local friends who are willing to experience new things with me in my local area

i need to read and watch and listen to and DO more and i have the time to do it now, so i need to make it happen

#there is literally just SO much i haven’t done that i need to do #every time i experience something new i am filled with more love and become more powerful #and it becomes something else i can share with others #i’ve always been hesitant to do this - but maybe i should set actual goals… #and select specific things ahead of time to keep myself on track #i think it’s fun to keep the film list loose - but i could still schedule them #and schedule out like. a book every 3 weeks or something REALLY reasonable like that #unless the book is super long and needs more time #book-scheduling makes sense to me bc i’m less sensitive about what i read than what i watch #2024 ‘resolutions’ incoming?? #i’ve never made New Year’s resolutions before bc i hate pressuring myself #but i actually WANT to do things so like. 🤷🤷 #i’m sensing some good potential here

[tuff-ponyboy]

also what do we think about post vietnam sodapop x "i'm on fire" by brucie music video 👀

#im thinking like..19? 20 year old soda? #maybe even 21 #he enlisted #got discharged for some reason maybe I'll give him an injury or something but he's back to working at the dx #steve owns it or something lmao and has made it a bigger. socs and greasers aren't really a thing anymore but soda is still from the other #side of the tracks and starts crushing on an uptown girl customer 👀 #should I make it cherry for the drama #what do we think people #a rich girl who got married off at a young age and she's bored with her life and finds excitement in breaking her car so she can see the #really cute mechanic on the east side 😍 #and she's rich so we can keep breaking shit and it's fine cuz her love don't cost a thing #i just be saying shit

[flower-do0dles-dump]

Currently working on concepts for Stanley's other outfits! A tad clunky, but I think letting players give him funny outfits would be so adorable! (and a nod to his concept art where his talking overalls look like a frog!)

#I believe I should also start taggin this stuff as 'concept art' or something #just to keep track o' it all! #me giving him a rainbow umbrella: omg billie bust up reference/j #stanley scarecrow #caraway county #concept art #caraway concepts #<- yes...i think thats a good tag for that! #flower'sart #ocs #oc #scarecrow

[icewindandboringhorror]

I found socks with my favorite flowers on them (nasturtiums!), but they literally don't match anything I own, so making an outfit with them is difficult.. just all black with the bright shoes and a random stuffed animal for accents lol

#self #ootd #still unsure if I should do the like.. 'saying where stuff is from' section at the end of outfit posts like I think it's popular to do #but it just feels repetitive because basically for everything is just 'it's all thrifted' occasional 'shoes from ebay 10 years ago so I don #t remember the seller' or 'socks from a random sock store in the mall 2 years ago' etc. #even the stuffed animal is from the bins lol #Shoes and tights and wigs are the only things that it tends to be harder to get from the bins. Though I still find some #except wigs. I wouldn't really wear Bin Wigs since half the bins have like mysterious wet stuff and mold in them or etc. #I've gotten some shoes and stuff there though. But most of my shoes are from online. It's just that theyre also not from #like.. brands..?? Like 'converse' or something. It's more.. some random ebay seller in 2017 or something #so then that feels weird too because I thought the point of that being popular is so people can go find the things you're wearing and #buy them or whatever. but in my case that would never be helpful ghjbjk #since I also keep things so long. I have shoes and stuff Ive had since elementary school #good luck tracking down where I got these tights on ebay in 2011. good luck going to the bins or a thriftstore and finding the same #exact dress or etc. So then in that case does it even matter?? eh #The only sense I could see it being useful in is like. people seeing that they could make looks without spending a lot of money. #since I have had some comments on costumes or makeups before like 'omg I would love to look like this if I had the $$ for clothes *sad emo #ji*' or whatever. and I always want to message them and be like.. this entire outfit cost like $2.. you can do it. Don't get discouraged #I mean depending on the resources available to you. I know not everyone has a bins type place near the #m. but still. and all of my makeup and wigs are cheap as hell. Probably full of terrible chemicals. but I wear them like. once every 5 mont #hs or less since I dont do full costumes that often so hopefully wont get an infection or something. etc. etc. #ANYWAY. I could see it being useful I guess in just letting people know most of everything is secondhand #if that's meaningful to them for some reason. but also I feel like thats obvious since I talk about it. so #still just seems repetitive to me. ANYWAY. Love nasturtiums... aaaaaa... even though it's not my colors at all and I never #wear black or anything that would match them #I had to do it. I also normally would never ever pay $12 for socks but.. it's SO specific to my tastes and I had never seen anything #with nasturtiums on it before since they dont seem as popular as like roses or sunflowers. One of my once every 2 years #impulse buys at a mall ghjhjb.. (I never go to malls and also just rarely buy stuff in general since I'm evil miserly penny pincher etc.) #Kind of like how once a year I allow myself to have one steak from a restaurant or something but that's all. Once every few years #I will go to a large mall at a not busy time of day so I can avoid crowds. just to look around for fun. and will maybe buy like. One thing

[thecherrygod]

/

#my posts #you know how this usually goes #i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao #... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better #maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more #2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man. #like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao #. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao #like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general #what i do isnt good enough #what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread? #and like all things considered i should be doing good currently #or at least not this bad #but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man. #so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao #also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me #but like.. more than usual #and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem #idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse #or they i will regret lmao #i. wont do any of those #also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die #not against it but its not the only option #just lay there and float..... also not against it #i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is #like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao #... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired #.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao #like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah #its kinda worse than i thought lmao

[curseofbreadbear]

thinking abt lore at ... (checks watch) ... 4 in the morning

#🎬 || ᵗᵉᵃʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᶤᵉᶜᵉˢ ᵘᵖ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵇᵘʳᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ˢʰʳᵉᵈˢˑ (delete later.) || 🎬 #{ i swear i have replies drafted + sb coming out on the switch RGHGGFHH!!!! } #{ anyway. so like. } #{ from the perspective that book canon is canon; even tho i hate ggy; i keep thinking abt it as i replay sb } #{ specifically the bits in the story where g.lam freddy SPECIFICALLY reacts to ggy's name being thrown around } #{ the story at least implies (imo) that g.lam f.red was always meant to be a protector for him. but like... } #{ taking gregorys 'role' into account...thats not Great lol } #{ im watching old astrals.piff vids in the bg as i replay too and- } #{ -''i think freddy's a fake friend. he only cares about [gregory].'' } #{ i hate to say it but that tracks really well if you account for the events in ggy } #{ if greggy boi hacked glamf.red with the intent to have a guardian then like... } #{ it makes sense that his reactions to his friends getting murked are so? downplayed ig? } #{ freddy never reacts. not even once. and it would have been SO easy to give him something; even a voice line of realization } #{ but theres just nothing. } #{ i care the father/son bond between fred and greggy SO much but that always felt off to me ig?? } #{ no matter how much freddy cares abt his son; i really dont think that should negate his feelings for his friends } #{ i listen to ''i miss him.'' and like. the difference between that and his nonreaction to his friends getting decommed is so jarring } #{ but yeah im. just having thoughts. } #🎬 || time for bear. (ooc.) || 🎬

[toytulini]

hit tag limit on the last post cos i started talking about roller coasters again 😔

#toy txt post #wish there was a way for me to like. Do. something. with my roller coaster hyperfixation. but im not an engineer i dont want to design them #thats so scary and i couldnt be a ride op cos im scared of riding most of them (disclaimer I KNOW HOW SAFE THEY ARE THATS NOT THE PROBLEM #I DONT HANDLE THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE OF THRILL RIDES FILLING ME WITH ADRENALINE VERY WELL IT CAUSES ME PAIN #i do not enjoy it. but i love to see coasters and watch them and read about them 🥺 and also sometimea i read about. the incidents which #felt like very foolish at first like okay this isnt gonna help me get comfortable riding them but honestly actually it did help? #to see how many of the incidents are like. truly like either freak accidents or someone fucked up #but like the rides safety mechanisms usually are very good and not the reason for an accident. most errors seem to be like. act of god or #like. operator or rider error. and some of the operator errors are kind of terrifying BUT ALSO seem like things that can be prevented #maybe the new wave of unionizing in the us will sweep into theme park employees and make sure theyre paid well and recieve good benefits #and that they are not pressured to prioritize profits or faster throughput at the expense of safety. and (really optimistic i know) maybe #we as a society and culture can unlearn our systemic fatphobia to the point that its doable to turn someone away for being #too big to ride safely without making them feel like shit or like its their fault and MAYBE we'll even possibly just maybe figure out how #to make rides that can actually accommodate larger guests safely so they can participate in the fun without fear or bodyshaming #logically i know theres no way to remove 100% of risk and that there is still heightened risk especially for ppl w various #medical conditions but idk i think we as a society can keep theme parks and do them well. i believe in us. #i should go to more of them....ive been to like. not that many but i do still have favorites #hershey my beloved. i LOVE how visible all the coasters are all the time i LOVE the skyview going right through great bears track #i hope i can go again this yr and see the new wildcat 🥺 absolutely not going to ride that fucking thing but i am definitely going to stare #at it. jenn if youre reading this i cannot fucking believe you got me to ride og wildcat honestly #p sure that rattle gave me a headache and i would not do it again that was a rough fucking ride lol but im glad u somehow got me into that #i have. such a complicated relationship with being peer pressured onto rides lol #like on the one hand i do need that a little bit or i definitely wont do it but on the other. being forced onto comet as a child was #slightly traumatizing and definitely marked my turn from wanting to ride all the coasters to jot wanting to ride anything #to my parents credit on that one they do recognize it as a mistake and were sorry about it like immediately so i dont hold it against them #but also dont. force ur children to ride coasters lol. but i do need to go spend a day at hershey just forcing myself to ride great bear #over and over. fav coaster best coaster. its so fucking loud. its shaped so good. pretty color scheme. its constellation themed #i do love and am obsessed with how hershey packs all those tracks together like that it looks so cool i love to see it #candymonium right at the entrance like that is Extremely distracting very immediately

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I do need to sit down today and draft a new budget even though it scares me. I need to be realistic about it too. I really don't enjoy budgeting. Neither me nor wifey are especially gifted with it, and it makes us both anxious and avoidant, so it's really unfortunate.

Definitely one of the tasks for the personal assistant chart once I can afford one.

#for any one wondering: #i have an ongoing understanding with my wife that should our finances ever allow it there are two services i want to hire out #household maintenance care and the phone call/mail/email/bills bermuda triangle of disaster #between the two of we are so fucking bad at these things but they are so essential to basic functioning #that it genuinely harms us when we fuck up #so for now we keep chugging along #lots of radical acceptance and self compassion and executive functioning support strategies to try and keep the plates spinning #but some day theoretically we'll have the money to pay a freelancer to come in and spend 1-2 hours a couple of days per week #just.....helping us deal with some of this stuff #i'd pay them very well #i'm thinking something like $100/day for maybe 2 hours work? #i just want someone who will sort and respond to my mail for me and schedule my appts/log them in my calendar and shoot me a text about it #someone who washes all the dishes down to baseline once a week and helps me do organizational planning/reworking once a month #not big stuff by any means but life changing to me #especially if their role is largely body doubling with me while I do other cleaning/organizing tasks so double the work can get done #anyway its purely hypothetical now and for a long time to come but i keep track of what tasks we may need help with #so i can prioritize and understand how many hours of support we would really need each week

[plushyluke]

i never post these, but feel free to diss me bc im good at rhetoric

#5SOS5 song sorter #unfortunately being a writer means im highly critical of lyrics #i also play guitar and piano so melodies ARE important but lyrics are my fav part #i learned most of these on guitar and piano as well as analyzed so this is pretty accurate #5sos are my special interest so i hold them to a high standard and i dont think negatively of them just bc i critique them btw. #pls critique the art u consume (especially if u like it) bc not doing that can be problematic #or consume critically i should say before anyone comes for me (and ik they will) this is just my silly opinion #i feel like a lot of these tracks are super connected to me and how i feel just like wfttwtaf #and also now that 5sos are good lyricists i hold their work to the same rubric as like harry #they have been for awhile but i digress #lashie song supremacy <3 #lashton blog #bottom luke blog #swans mp3 #swan spams #5sos5 #5soscore #older and carousel are lyrically and melodically immature and just bc the album has something for everyone doesnt mean they should’ve been #added #however they are stark contrasts to the GOOD songs that keep this album phenomenal

[rohirric-hunter]

So according to the LotRO Companion this item exists:

Can be found in any tier of delving chest and trains a skill, meaning it is not a single-use item.

I think this is really cool because it offers a method to fast travel to Rivendell for non-hunters or non-elves, which previously was only purchaseable via the store.

#lotro #it is of course restricted to level-capped characters but still #its something #still cant figure what they were thinking putting the ONLY tracery archive in the game in one of the least accessible hubs #there should in my opinion be a tracery archive in every major hub post level 50 #PLUS one in bree thorins hall and michel delving for good measure #and this is more just i think it would be a cool feature but i think it would be cool if you could get li weapons that had different damage #according to the location you got it #like rivendell only offers beleriand damage types so keep that #but make westerness available from bree and ancient dwarf make available in moria and. i guess there isnt a hobbit damage type is there #well the hobbits can have a variety. randomly accrued from different sources #mathoms #also the michel delving tracery archive could be in the mathom house #how fun would that be #especially with the games established track record of 'i dont know what it is and you asked nicely so i guess you can have it' #'yeah i cant read this. you can have it sure. what do you mean it makes your bow shoot further? thats ridiculous. outlandish. absurd'

[thethingything]

for the last couple of days our brain has kind of felt the way it does when we've not had any caffeine and our ADHD gets really bad and we start getting distracted all the time and having racing thoughts and being generally unhinged, except we've been drinking energy drinks so I know it isn't that.

our psychosis definitely started flaring up as well because we've had the usual stress induced hallucinations we get (usually just spiders and little orbs of light. it's whatever) but also really intense paranoia over how people perceive us, but it's combined with the racing thoughts and we keep just rambling and jumping from one thing to another while freaking out about doing exactly that.

so yeah anyway if I talk to anyone and it looks like I'm typing stuff really frantically or it doesn't make sense properly, that's probably why. I just felt like this was worth clarifying in case anyone noticed and wondered what the hell was going on

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #<- kind of? #this isn't about that infodump post just to clarify; it's specifically about when I'm messaging people #idk maybe keep this in mind if I do post like really unhinged vent posts or something? but it should be fine #also the psychosis and racing thoughts came along with suddenly feeling amazing and wanting to do loads of creative stuff #and we're not diagnosed with a mood disorder that would cause hypomania because our last therapist was like ''it's just mood swings'' #but we maybe kind of suspect that the week long episodes of this happening after intense stress might be that #so yeah I'm trying to manage that and be relatively hinged and not let our brain freak out too much #but I'm also jumping so fast between different trains of thought that it's disorienting and hard to keep track of what's going on #I don't want this to sound like an excuse for me being weird but I also think I'm probably just being paranoid about that too #I feel pretty vulnerable posting this but it's kind of that vs being even more paranoid because of people not knowing what's going on #slightly scared of people going ''oh my god you're insane. you're a freak'' because we have scary symptoms #and this specific combination of symptoms makes us feel like we've done some kind of irreversible mistake and ruined our life #even if all we've done is sit in bed and ramble to a couple of people who were very chill about it