#it's like every time i start to forget what happened I'm forcefully reminded

[wonyui]

Nonsense — Y.J

PAIRINGS ; Yoo!Jimin x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY ; Late Night fun talks with your best friend turns into something more when she pulls a stunt that could possibly change the whole point of your friendship.

GENRE ; wlw, oneshot, fluff, beat friends to lovers, late night talks, non idol AU

"Karina?" Your best friend hummed in reply, watching as you typed your thoughts away into your laptop. "You do realize that my dormroom isn't for you to come and just hang in, right?"

She jokingly rolled her eyes and threw a pillow, somehow landing it into your face, despise doing horribly back in high school whenever the two of you would have p.e. It didn't hurt as expected, but your laptop had been closed when the pillow landed and forcefully closed it.

The older latter giggled, finding it a bit hilarious because that was the same exact blank stare that you gave her when she "accidentally" covered your face with lots of frosting, leaving you sulking and ignoring her the whole day. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for checking in on me. It's not like the pillow didn't just hit me in the face."

"I'm sorry." She tried to control herself by covering her mouth, but it only ended in a big fail when she laughed even more.

"If I fail this big exam, I'm gonna make sure my roommate doesn't leave the key doors for you." Karina stopped laughing, knowing that you weren't exactly lying about such a horrible thing.

"Speaking of Yunjin, what's she doing?" You chuckled, remembering how annoyed Yunjin was when she had talked about the blind date that her mom had set her up on.

About to respond, you balantly ignored her, reminding yourself that you had studying to do. The frown on Karina's face once again appeared for the 3rd time of the day, finding you to be a bit boring when you focused on things that were months away from even happening. "The exam takes place in a few months. You know that, right? Even I haven't started." You raised your brows, remembering the last score that she got on her exam. "Yeah, and who failed miserably because they didn't study?" Karina gasped, throwing another pillow just to miss and hit the frame that she gave to you as a gift.

"You seriously had to aim for the frame, didn't you?" Karina rolled her eyes, moving to help the frame up.

Luckily, it wasn't at all broken. Karina sighed in relief, putting it back and jumping right into your comfortable bed. Every time the two of you were alone, you would question how she was as popular as you were. Despite being an idiot who followed you around, it probably was because she looked the part, so it sort of made sense.

"You're insulting me in your head, aren't you?" She suspiciously raised her head after looking down from her phone to check the time, reading your mind almost instantly.

You fake pouted, feeling sarcastic at the moment. "I would do no such thing to my dear best friend."

She scoffed, wanting to kiss that stupid pout of your face. "Yeah, okay."

-

"I'm not enjoying this."

"Hm."

"I'm bored."

"Oh."

"Are you even listening? Can you even hear me?"

"Uhuh.."

Karina huffed, trying to find some sort of way to get your attention without acting as though she's being too bothersome. The older latter crawled over until she rested well beside you, drilling holes mentally in hopes that you'd notice her frustration.

"You know you're really annoying," you shut your laptop, having no choice but to ditch it for the grown baby besides you.

"Yet you still tolerate and love me," She proudly defends herself, "plus that was like, the first insult you've ever thrown at me. Are you sure you really find me annoying?"

Unable to fight back, you sigh almost instantly before closing your eyes to calm your whole body after that 3-hour study session.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" You open your eyes, taking in Karina's ethereal beauty.

Raising your eyebrows to question exactly what you were forgetting, Karina replies before you could even open your mouth to ask. "This is exactly the time we cuddle asshole."

"You're utterly insane. I don't do cuddles, and we never have done anything that involves cuddling." You retort, cringing at the idea of cuddling someone.

"Okay, well, can you at least sit up?" The thought of having to sit up for this maniac was too much to bear. But since it was Karina(who makes sure things go her own way), it was best to obey without any questions.

After doing exactly what she asked, you made sure to open your eyes as wide as it can go so it doesn't decide to doze off again. Karina silently watched as you put strands of hair behind your ears, coughing awkwardly to stop herself from staring too much.

"Let's talk about.. stuff," Karina trailed off, trying to think of a subject that could last a convo. "Like the people we have a crush on."

You scratched the back of your ears, hoping you at least heard it right. "And since when did we ever gossip about our crushes?"

"Aha! So you have someone you like?" She managed to trap you in one of her awfully annoying schemes.

Blankly staring at her to see whether she was being serious or not, you realized that she was, in fact, not joking around. "Um, no." She squinted her eyes, wondering if you were lying to her.

Shrugging and sounding almost uninterested, you made sure to clear up what god knows what stupid assumptions she was making in her head. "I mean, I don't have anyone I like."

"And why?" She asked, a little grateful that you had no interest in anyone. Even it wasn't her.

"Seriously?" You glared, questioning why she was so curious in your love life all of a sudden. "Fine, I just don't like having the thought of having someone that could possibly distract me."

"I distract you all the time."

"You're different."

"What? So you don't see me as a potential partner?"

"What? N- wait what."

Her annoying, proud smirk gave you nothing but negative thoughts. "Oh? I knew it."

You groaned in annoyance, hiding behind your hands. She was honestly a pain in the butt with the clever schemes that she always manages to pull most of the time.

"Are you crazy? I was tricked!" Karina shook her head, denying the fact she didn't trick you into admitting that she was a potential partner for you.

Laughing at your reddening state, she took your hands to make sure they weren't blocking your face. "Calm down, I was only joking." You glared, finding her jokes to be quite a handful at times. "Yoo Jimin.. seriously, you're annoying." She softly smiled, almost forgetting that she had been holding your hands the entire time.

"Let go of my hands," Karina instantly listened, this time she was the red one.

You were heating up, feeling a bit too shy to even endure the situation. Although she was sometimes weird, Karina wouldn't take her jokes this far, and it annoyingly worried you.

"Are you embarrassed?" Karina asked all of a sudden, watching as you repositioned yourself.

Cooling yourself down, you stayed silent. It wasn't that you were embarrassed, but it was because you didn't know exactly how to respond rightfully to that. "Not exactly." She sighed in relief, getting a bit closer for your liking. "Really?" The way she whispered felt a bit too illegal, sounding a bit too confident rather than worried.

"Karina, I'm not at all embara-" Before you could finish your sentence, a pair of soft lips managed to shut you up.

Looking for any signs of discomfort, Karina melted into the kiss after realizing that you weren't thinking about pushing her away. She softly moved the strands of hair that you had been struggling with, finding it to be a bother while in the middle of the kiss. Your hands interlocked, making the kiss a bit too affection. The two of you managed to kiss until there wasn't any more oxygen to take in, forcing the two of you to pull apart.

"I.." You were about to speak just for Karina to cut you off. "I'm not gonna ask how it was, but I hope that shows just how I feel about you."

"I'm sorry, Karina." Karina looked a bit sad, wondering what went wrong after the two of you had recently just shared your first kiss.

Leaning over to give her a peck on the cheek, you wiped the frown off her face. "I'm sorry for stealing your second kiss."

"That was kinda cringe." Karina jokingly pushed you away, feeling as though she could cry from the fact that you had just accepted her confession.

You softly kicked her, laying back down on the bed. Karina took her place next to you, forcefully making sure that she'd wrap her arms around you. Before you could wiggle your way out of her grasp, the door slammed open.

"Holy shit!" Your roommate, Yunjin, closed her eyes as if she had just witnessed something bad. "I'm sorry for interrupting? I knew I should have knocked what the hell."

You escaped Karina's grasp, glaring at the older latter before running over to Yunjin to explain what she had just seen. The younger latter clearly didn't believe the excuses you threw at her, closing her eyes and ears while walking away as an attempt to forget what she just saw.

"You're acting like that because you don't have a girlfriend!" Karina yelled before snickering, causing Yunjin to curse at her in English.

#karina #karina x reader #aespa #aespa x reader #karina x fem reader #aespa x fem reader #fluff #wlw #gxg #gg x reader #kcwonz #aespa imagines

[lianahayze]

Shadow and the Midnight Misery: Chapter 11

Masterlist

Here we are at chapter 11! TW: this chapter has brief mentions of sexual abuse. It's all at the start of the chapter, is italicized, and you can skip over it if you need to. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 11. Nightmares and Reminders

"You're such a dirty little girl, aren’t you? Does my dirty little girl want to be a star, hmm? You want to be famous, more famous than your daddy, don't you?"

"Hmm."

"I can't make you more famous than him. But you have to keep this our little secret, do you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Our dirty little secret."

"Yes."

My body lurches forward and I want to throw up. I'm breathing heavily, and my body is sweating. It takes me several seconds to realize that I'm in my bedroom. When the realization does finally hit me, I clutch my chest, exhaling forcefully.

It's not the first time I've had that dream; it's just the first time I've had it in a while. Months, actually. No matter how much time goes, though, it still feels as vivid as the day it happened.

I groan. Hands on my stomach, I kick off the covers and make my way to the bathroom. I click on the light and let my eyes adjust. When I walk over to the mirror and look at myself, I notice how bloodshot my eyes are.

I wonder what time it is. I don't know how long I've been asleep, but I do know that I'm shaking. I feel so queasy that I lean back and kick open the toilet seat just to be on the safe side. Going back to the sink, I place my palms on the granite and continue to stare at myself.

I look like shit. But it's really no surprise, considering that dream. Actually, the older I get, the more it feels like a nightmare. And while I truly believe that I deserve every bit of success and fame that I have, the dreams are a very real reminder of what I had to do when I wasn't even sixteen.

I swallow hard and rub my eyes.

I’d desperately wanted someone to take me seriously, to take my music seriously. I hadn’t wanted to rely on my father; I’d wanted to make my own way. So when I’d been offered the world for a few “chance encounters,” what was I supposed to have done?

At the time, I hadn’t seen anything wrong with it. It had hurt and I’d hated it and eventually I’d grown to resent him, but, by that point, the only thing there was for me to do was move on. I’d forced myself to forget about it, even if forcing it from my mind didn’t change anything.

After all, it didn’t change a fifty-something year old hitting on a teenager. It didn't change me being told that I vomited because I have "a narrow throat." It didn't change that it was “just part of the business,” something I couldn't control.

I don’t talk about it. The guys don't even know. My dad doesn't even know. The only people who know are me and... him.

And, as far as he's concerned, he’d washed his hands clean a long time ago.

I need some water.

I leave the bathroom, stopping to grab my robe. I throw it over my shoulders and make my way downstairs.

As I'm in the kitchen, I notice what time it is: 2:43. If I can get back to sleep quickly enough, I'll still be able to get a full night's sleep. However, as I pour myself a glass of water from the tap, I doubt it'll happen.

Every time I have that dream, I’m usually up the rest of the night. Most of the time I smoke a joint or two before my body relaxes and shuts down. For some reason, though, I just don't think weed will work this time.

I sit down at the table. The kitchen is completely dark, but I can see out the windows. There is light in the distance, but, up close, it's pitch black. I've always hated looking outside at night; I'm afraid I'll see something like someone looking in. It just creeps me out.

Standing up, I refill my water and head back upstairs. After I turn on the light on my nightstand, I put down the water and crawl into bed. I don’t pull the covers up; I don't adjust the pillows. I just sit there, consumed by my own thoughts.

None of this is fair, and that's beyond the standard "life isn't fair." People think I'm rude. Self-centered. Vain. They've called me it a thousand times before; I always read it online. They say I live in my own fantasy world where I always get my way, that I'm out of touch with "real" people and "real" struggles. Well, if that's what they really think, I've fooled them out--and I'm proud of it.

I rub my temples. I'm not proud of what happened to me--actually, I'm disgusted--but to put on a brave face and pretend that nothing's wrong, that nothing's ever been wrong? I excel in that. I'm proud of it, but it always makes me think:

'This isn't a skill that anyone should have.'

I reach for my glass but don't drink. Instead, I swirl the water around, staring the at the wall. The silence in my room is deafening, and I have a strong urge to turn on the TV. I don't, though, and continue to sit in silence.

Eventually, I determine I need something to distract myself and reach for my phone. I put down my water, unplug my phone, and pull the covers over my head. It's like I'm a child: under the blankets, nothing can see me, and nothing can get in. I get comfortable, creating an air pocket, before checking my phone.

I groan when I see that I have a calendar invite, one that had been sent just a few short hours ago. Unless I’d already been asleep, I'm not sure how I missed it. I open it and read.

Band rehearsal. Ten. Shadow, need you there early to unlock everything, because none of us have keys. -Wyatt.

I scoff. Now he's just purposely being an asshole. But it does remind me: I need to get copies of the studio key made. This is a good sign, though; if he's worried about a key, that means they've accepted that we're not going to keep working from my dad's studio.

I accept the invitation.

Honestly, all I want is for them to get off my back. Sometimes, there’s just so much going on in my head that it feels like I can't breathe; the way they've been acting is just making it worse. If they only knew...

But they don't know. And I don't want them to. If they knew why I was so finicky about producers, if they knew why I'd insisted on being the only girl in the band, if they knew why I've had us switch studios so many times... If they knew any of that, I can’t even imagine how it would change things.

They'd probably treat me like a child. It’s not far off from how they’re treating me now, but instead of treating me like a child in the middle of a tantrum, though, they'd treat me like a child that shouldn't be exposed to anything in the world. They'd follow my every footstep; they'd check on me constantly. They'd want to know how I'm doing every minute of every day. It would be obnoxious, and I wouldn't have the time or energy to deal with.

Without really thinking about it, I go to Twitter. My scrolling is mindless, but I start to focus on Tweets that specifically mention me.

It's a nasty little habit I have, looking at stuff that's going to make me feel worse when I already feel like crap. And I know it's going to be bad. Sure, sometimes people say nice things, but the internet wasn't created for polite people.

Fortunately, I don't spend too much time on it. Honestly, I do know better, and, after I scroll through a handful of Tweets that sting, I close out of the app. I put my phone face down on the pillow and wait.

What I'm waiting for I don't know. I'm not waiting to fall asleep. That's not going to be for a while. I'm not waiting for an apology texts from one of the guys. They've made it very clear that's not going to happen. I'm not waiting for anything at all… but I'm still waiting.

Maybe I'm just waiting for all of this to be over.

Literally everything.

-

Not going to lie: this chapter was hard to write. If you feel inclined, please take 30 seconds to drop me a line and tell me what you think. Hope you're having a wonderful day wherever you are!

-L.H.

#tw #trigger warning #writing #writer #writblr #novel #free story #free fiction #fiction #original story #original fiction #original writing #shadow and the midnight misery #satmm

[nxiousxpsistence]

Run You Clever Boy, and Remember

You know why this happens.

Your energy likes to be in charge, your soul doesn't.

The will is there, but not under love.

You don't like the reality,

nay,

you don't think the reality is 3D,

that the reality is real,

that the people you talk to actually think about you from time to time?

Your mom is real and so is that friend of yours you can't seem to shake,

they have lives just like you?

When I don't like the reality I'm in, I push myself into the pit of the uncertain; that balanceless, yet constantly weighed scale on which justice depends / administration requires responsibility (never accountability).

Uncertain is scary. My life has been one uncertain mess. I have never been sure of myself one iota. I'm sure I've made a mistake in the previous sentence... oh and this one. Needs an exclamation mark, doesn't it?

(Translating for sick people and refugees at their most vulnerable moments isn't a 10 dollar an hour job.

Their stories haunt me. I hate the world more.

Everyone is so lovely in their own ways.

Everything is P fucking C.

Yet nobody is happy other than those in the first three shifts of Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Today, one of the unknown people I'm paid to know rather intimately said: "Something happens. I say, "Well, it can't get any worse!", and then IT FUCKING DOES!"

Her older daughter was born premature and is hard of hearing,

Her husband was diagnosed with cancer.

Her younger daughter turned out to have diabetes.

Her sister-in-law had a car crash on the way back from the hospital.

Desperation. --- Hope is what they want you to believe will follow; it won't.

This pit is how we've made it and what we've made is horrible.)

So yeah, when I stop liking my reality, I retrieve this fucking .exe that fires up my god complex

, which is never easy to shake due to me being an absolute fucking god,

and leaves me believing my own prophesies

, which is never easy to shake due to my prophesies fucking coming through, (yes, through - all truths are half truths),

and the future is pretty bleak. Not CIA-fueled mass paranoia-driven comment-writing tiktok-loving pimple-popping bleak.

Like it is bleak.

(Have I peaked or is it the world that's been failing me hard?)

Having control means having responsibility. It means I develop a habit of forcefully waking myself up at around 7 every morning just to reach for my phone, and sighing a sigh of relief once number 7 has been spotted on the glowing screen -

and I can enter my favourite part of the sleep cycle - anxious neck pressing, cheek lining gnawing, finger bulldozing, and oh wanting to fucking die.

The shame of a single step I took wrong in a letter,-

which I forced myself to write, because if I hadn't written, somebody would've surely be mad and me

and I WOULD

die?

"The sad truth is I'm ready to die because I'm pretty sure it will happen soon."

"I practically see what this world is and it's a scary place to be and I'll enjoy being dead better than being alive."

"I'm pretty bored here."

I've never been sure of my thinking and I've got no intentions to start caring now.

So, I think my body is trying to destroy itself.

Why oh why can't I talk about things that make sense to other people?

It may be the ADHD, but I'm pretty sure my brain forgets the hard truths I'd learned the hard way 5 years ago just for me to rediscover America and reciprocate that wink I'd given to my present self all those years ago.

(Ooooh or that wink HE'd given ALL OF US to remind us how loved we were - as loved as HIS favourite velvet to caress.)

Share a cheeky smile - knowing full well this whole thing may not be real and it's exhilarating.

[invictus1875]

(generic vent. S*lf h*rm mention. trauma mention. swearing)

#I'm getting goddamn tired of living with trauma lemme tell ya #i was having a good week. #honestly. for the first time in so so long i was having a good week #and what triggered this downward spiral? #my own fucking nightmares #it's not fair. it's not bloody fair I'm trying so so hard to move past everything and recover and get better #I'm avoiding things that could trigger me #engaging in good coping mechanisms #and yet? #it's not fair jfc #it's like every time i start to forget what happened I'm forcefully reminded #and bitch!!!!! i don't want to be!!! leave me alone!!!! #it wasn't even the nightmare itself that triggered the spiral honestly #it was the realisation that I'll never truly be healed until i get therapy #which i can't. i fucking can't. at least not until im an adult and free to make my own choices. #I'm so tired of being stuck where i am #i tried to get out. i tried to un-stick myself from this mess and get better of my own volition. without help. #surprise surprise!! doesn't work like that #why am i so badly affected by something that happened so many years ago!!! fuck!!! it's like i just need a reason to feel bad #maybe I'm overreacting. maybe this is all an act and I'm just trying to get out of studying #mighty convenient that this comes one week before finals huh!!! mighty convenient indeed. #''ooooh i didn't do well because my trauma acted up again :('' #@me I'm onto you. you lil bitch. shut the fuck up. #i hate myself so much ahahahah #isn't it easier to just. sit my ass down and read this stuff. than it is to roll around in my own pathetic sadness #isn't it easier to be productive than it is to be weighed down by a goddamn tornado of negativity and self loathing!!! #WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF. HOW DO I GET OUT. #Imgettingdesperate.jpg #somehow sitting here with a book in my hand and absolutely nothing going into my dumb head is 100x worse than when I'd cry myself to sleep #I'm tired. TIRED.

[impyssadobsessions]

Wrote this all in one go just now, I don't know why. =w='b I was trying to type chapter out but was getting stuck so I hope this helps me.. even though I should be going to bed.. T w T Oneshot: Fluffy trio

"aaaand done! See what you think!" Sam held out a mirror at the boys, proud of her handy work. She had just finished putting some makeup on the boys, for fun. (eyeliner and eyeshadow) "I think it just looks like you gave me a black eye. No offense." Tucker quickly added as he watch Sam frown at his comment. "...I think I look the same- Am I THAT sleep deprived?!" Danny tried rubbing off makeup from one eye to get a comparison. Just making one eye look even more sunken in.

Tucker started to laugh, "Dude! You're right." "Danny stop! Here let me get you a rag to wash it off. " Sam swatting Danny's hand away as she went to soak a warm rag in makeup remover. "That's probably not good in all seriousness, though." Tucker wiping the tears from his eye then hissing in pain. "Ow. Dang Sam! How do you wear this stuff! It burns!" "Pain is beauty, as they say. And you need a lot of it." Sam taking another rag to soak for Tuck. "Hey!" Sam came back towards the two sitting on her bed, tossing the rag into Tuck's face like a slice of cheese. She then handed Danny his. "Circular motions." Sam mimicked with her hand to show them how to wipe it off. "You seem to forget I live with an older sister. " Danny already wiping the makeup off of one eye. "Oh, yeah. She bribed you with sweets to let her test out what makeup looks she liked." Tuck rubbing harshly at his face. "Circular motions Tuck! Sheeesh." Sam moving to help Tuck out, before hurt his vision more. "Heh, yeah. Glad she decided on the nude look, teal eyeshadow was not the look. At least how she did it." "Didn't-pleh-Dash mistake you for a girl, because you couldn't take it off?" Tuck puffing air as he got makeup taste in his mouth from Sam wiping his face off. "Hold still." Sam frowned as it felt like she was fighting wiping a mouth of a young child. "Ugh, don't remind me. That was embarrassing." "He picked you flowers." "Wait, When did this happen?" Sam asked, pausing in her efforts, now invested in the story. "Elementary school. Jazz couldn't get it off, and ran out of remover wipes. So she dropped me off at the park while she bought some. -Guess it didn't help we were in a hurry to keep it from Mom and Dad, so I was wearing one of Jazz's jackets." Danny explained as he picked up the mirror to try and compare. Still had too much makeup smear, so he wiped at his face again. "It was the one with flowers on it, reason Dash thought Danny liked flowers." Tuck snickering. "Long story short, Jazz came back hollering my name. Dash found out, and then pushed me into some mud the next day." "Tch, of course." Sam glanced up shaking her head, as she forced the rag into Tuck's hand. Getting him to do it. Tuck pouted but finished wiping his face. Danny finished wiping off makeup from one side of his face, frowning in the mirror as Sam and Tuck tried to see the comparison themselves. Sam going to stand in front of Danny. "Dang Danny, you're right... When was the last time you slept?" Sam leaning in. "........" "Danny?" Sam narrowed her eyes at the boy's silence. "........Don't tell me it was last Tuesday-" Tucker said as that was the last time he saw Danny sleep and that was from being knocked unconscious for a good 4 hours. "...............Technically it was last.. Wednesday.." "THAT'S STILL BAD, DANNY?!" Sam groaned. "...Hey, I can't help it every ghost and their grandma wants me to fully die from sleep deprivation. Which hasn't happen yet, oddly. I think I'm getting use to it." "Ugh." Sam took the rag from Danny and forcefully removed the rest of his makeup, making him flinch from surprise. "Pff. Sam! What are you-" "Tuck, call Jazz." "Operation Mr. Sandman, is a go!" Tuck had Jazz on speed dial, as it started to ring. "Wait, what? Since when did you guys have a code?!" "Since you started neglecting your health! Now hold still, before I knock you out with an iron skillet." "Metal." Danny sighed giving in. Even so, He couldn't help, but smile warmly. It was nice, being cared for.

#danny fenton #danny phantom #jazz fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #tag however you want uwu #I just thought this was cute #fluff #sleep deprive danny #fanfic #oneshot #dash baxter

[stephthenewgirl]

AGTAW — I: Twila Gilbert

“Twila, did you take my dark blue leather jacket?!” Elena Gilbert strides into her sister's bedroom without a simple thing as a kick. She halts upon laying her doe brown eyes on her sister; her mouth parted and her thin brows furrowing. There her sister stood in only a bra and panties but that's not what shocked her, it was the fact that Twila was in her underwear with a boy in her room. He sat at the edge of her queen-sized bed that was covered in gray and black sheets and heavy blankets. His elbows pressing down on his lap and his back hunched over. His deep brown eyes moved to the elder Gilbert twin.

The later twin — Twila — with celerity wheeled her body around, her large hazel brown eyes aimed at her sister sharply. Her body hiding the boy behind her midway. And the somewhat naked girl's medium brown hair that fell into a sepia reddish-brown moved sweetly and nimbly stroke her neck. A rainbow stripe shirt held between her fingers — a shirt she was about to put on before Elena intruded her bedroom.

Twila briskly put the rainbow shirt on, after she tugged the shirt down, stretching out slight folds on the fabric and she stomped her way towards the elder Gilbert. Elena's doe eyes stayed fixed on the boy that sits peacefully on her little sister's bed. She disliked this — and she disliked it even more that the boy who looked so peaceful and unbothered had no shirt on.

Why doesn't he have a shirt on? Elena query herself.

“Don't you know how to kick?” Twila asked heatedly. Elena's eyes fluttered to the younger twin.

“I-I. . .” The words just wouldn't come out. Her eyes wandered to the boy on her sister's bed. Elena wanted to say ''no boys allowed in the bedroom'', she wanted to ask why Twila had no clothing on and why was he shirtless, what was happening. Elena gasped as the boy known as Clarkson sent a wink to her then frowned.

Twila pushed Elena out of her room, slamming the door in her face.

“No boys in the room, Twila!” Elena finally found her voice.

“You're not my fucking mother, Elena!!” Twila waits to hear the footsteps of her sister walking away. It did not take long. Today, Elena had no energy to lecture her. Twila was grateful. She twirled back around, walking towards the end of her bed.

“Will, that was a show.” Clarkson Forsyth spoke, a lopsided smirk on his soft pink lips. Twila mocked smiled at the boy, picked up his black tee off her bed then threw it at him, hitting his face.

“Yeah, you would think that.” Their giggles bounded off the four walls. “Hurry up. Martin and Vera are picking us up in sixteen.” Twila told the boy as she made her way into her closet and yanked a pair of pants off the hanger.

“So should I hop out the window and wait for you outside?” Clarkson said, standing from the bed, the black shirt in his hold as he goes. He flipped the shirt over and slid his arms in the sleeves then pulled the shirt over his head and pulled it down over his body. Twila stepped out of the closet wearing dark blue loose jeans and held two pairs of black sneakers in her hand. She walked towards her bed, displaying a frown on her face.

“What? No.” Twila sits down at the end of her bed and pulls out the socks she tucked into her sneakers. “I'm fucking hungry, and I know you are too.” Twila slipped the sneakers on her feet and tied them up.

“I just don't want to start—” Clarkson started, taking small steps towards the Gilbert girl.

“Clark, you've been my best friend since kindergarten. My family knows you and Aunt Jenna is cool, and she likes you. You're not going to start anything. . .” Once she finished tying her shoelaces, Twila looked over to the obsidian hair strong-jawed boy. “. . . Okay.”

Clarkson chortle. “Yeah, okay.”

Twila nods slightly with a smile. “Okay.” She pushed herself off the bed. “Don't mind Elena, she's just being a prude. Elena's been all big-sister ever since mom and dad passed. The girl is only four minutes older than me but that is a mile for her.”

Clarkson cracks a tiny smile. “How are you feeling, anyway?”

Twila was quiet for a second, thinking of what to say. She looked up at her best friend and greeted him with a sad smile.

“Getting better. Can't do anything but get better. The world goes on.” Twila gives him a longer smile that forcefully reaches her cheeks. Clarkson pulls her into a hug. It took a while for Twila to react back, but she did; wrapping her arms around him tightly.

“Thanks — for being here for me. I didn't know what I would have done without you last night.”

It was late at night when the boy called, gasping with sobs and in need of his best friend. Twila immediately told him to come over. She sat up on her bed and rubbed her sleep away, awaiting his arrival. Finally arriving at the Gilbert home, Twila hugged him and listened to his recent problems with his father as he cried on her shoulder. Twila did not mind — Clarkson was there for her when her parents passed; even invited her to crash in his room when she did not feel like being at Caroline's. After his tears dried out, they watched Buffy together on her baby-blue-covered laptop — forgetting about the sadness as they laughed away.

“Of course, Clark. I will always be here for you.” Twila pulled from the hug, her hands clasping his biceps tenderly then she gave him a fast smile. “Now get off of me,” She pushed him jocosely. “C'mon, I'm starved.” Clarkson chortled with a head shake; the two grab their belongings and head downstairs.

Twila and Clarkson dumped their belongings on the sofa before passing the threshold into the kitchen. The gold sunlight streamed through the square window; the silhouette of the window slept on the kitchen Island and kissed Jeremy's naked arm.

“Good morning, Gilbert family!!.” Twila smiled wide at her family that was diffuse around the kitchen area.

“Morning, Twila,” Aunt Jenna says softly, tipping her head back from the refrigerator door, welcoming Twila back with a duplicate smile. Her eyesight moved to the boy beside her niece. “Oh, hey Clark. I didn't know you were here.”

“Yeah, I hope you don't mind. Just needed my best friend last night.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Jenna waves him off. “You are welcome anytime. Would you like some toast?”

Twila's eyes instantly widened, jerking her head from side to side, “Oh, no. I'm making waffles. Don't need you having us eating rocks, Aunt Jenna.”

“Not rocks, Twila. Just burnt toast.” The kitchen erupted with laughter for everyone's lips — even Jeremy's. The boy who had been in the dump all summer, spending his time with Vicki Donovan and drug heads. Both Gilbert twins were happy to hear him laugh again; they haven't heard it in a while. Elena shook her head in the corner with a smile and a mug in her hands. After, she pulled it closer to her lips, taking a sip. “Who needs lunch money?”

“Here!” Both Twila and Jeremy raised their hands, shouting.

“Elena?” Jenna walked to her bag that sits on the chair at the dinner table.

“No thanks, Aunt Jenna.”

“Okay.” The strawberry blond rummaged through her bag, pulling out three twenty-dollar bills. “Here you go.” Jenna handed Jeremy and Clarkson each a twenty.

“Oh no Jenna, you don't have to,” Clarkson says, declining the money.

“I know, I want to. So take the money.”

“Take the money!” Twila yelled, not sparing a glance over her shoulders. Her eyes were fixed on the waffles, she didn't want them to burn like Aunt Jenna does every time she cooks something.

“Yeah, or I'll take it.” Jeremy playfully stood up acting as if he was honestly going to, Aunt Jenna pushed him back on his seat.

“Sit down.” She told the boy. “Take it.” She utters to Clarkson, pushing it at his crest.

“Okay, okay. . . Thanks, Jenna.”

“No problem. Twila, yours is on the table.”

“Thanks, Jenna.”

“Don't you have a big presentation today?” Elena reminds the young caretaker.

“I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at. . .” Jenna glanced down at her watch and freaked, “Now. Crap!”

“Then go. We'll be fine.” Jenna nodded at Elena, she quickly put her hair up in a ponytail with a rubber band then grabbed her bag, and dashed out the side door.

Twila plopped the last waffle on top of the rest. Elena walked towards her sister, standing beside her.

“Why was Clarkson in your room?” Elena inquired.

The sepia brunette twisted her neck to her twin. “Because he came over last night.”

“Why?”

“Because he needed a friend, Elena. You know, like how Bonnie comes over when she needs you.”

“Bonnie's not a boy.”

Twila's brows narrowed down and her eyelids batted. She can't believe what Elena was saying to her right now. She angles her body, facing her sister.

“Elena, you know Clark for as long I've been friends with him.”

“Doesn't mean he's not a boy.”

Twila turned away from Elena; grabbing the pleat of waffles, she was done with this exchange. Before she walked off she targeted her big brown hazel eyes at her sister once more.

“I don't know when you've become such a wet blanket but stop with the mothering act. I can have whoever I want in my room.”Twila let Elena know, leaving her there speechless.

Twila was wordless while she ate her waffles, Jeremy and Clarkson on the other hand talked as if they were in a club meeting. The conversation with Elena left a sour taste in her mouth, she still enjoyed her waffles of course, but she was upset. Her big brown hazel eyes glared at her twin as she asked Jeremy a simple question: if he was okay. She snickers at Jeremy's response and rolled her eyes when Elena glanced at her with a confused pouty face.

Elena folds her arms and walks off from the three teens, not soon later Twila's phone buzzes. A text from Vera telling Twila she and Martin were outside. A small smile pulls at her perfect lips as she stares at the screen. Twila slides the phone back into her pocket and sights her eyes on her brother and best friend.

“Vera and Martin's outside.” Clarkson got the hint. He hopped off the stool, grabbing his pleat and then Twila's. She gave him a soft thank you. “Need a ride, Jer?”

“Sure.” Jeremy got off the stool taking his dish, going towards the sink. Clark and Jeremy end up in a —you go first, I go first— situation. Jeremy stepped aside letting Clarkson pass. Clark smiled up at him shyly. Twila looked at him with a knowing smile, and he ignored her smug look while he walked to the living room area grabbing his book bag on the sofa.

Twila walked up behind Clarkson, playfully bumping into him. “Oh, I'm sorry. You first. No, you go first. I go left, you go right? Oh, um. . . okay.” Twila laughed at her dramatic imitation of Jeremy and Clarkson's exchange in the kitchen.

“Ssh, shut up. He could hear you.” He whispered to the girl over his shoulder.

Twila rolls her eyes, “Oh, please.” She grins and moves from behind him, going to grab her book bag also. Clarkson shook his head, letting out a stressful sigh. Hoping Jeremy didn't hear his sister mocking.

“Come on, Jer!”

“Coming!” He placed the wet dish on the dish rack and rushed his way out of the kitchen grabbing his book bag on the chair head. “Hey Vera, Martin.” Jeremy greets his sister's two best friends. Vera is a square face, soft beige skin brunette with deep-set dark brown eyes. Her brows were black-filled and straight. Her hair was black and short in a pixie rat tail cut, her bangs were cut right above her eyebrows, and two long strips of black hair fell just under her chin on each side of her face.

“Hey, Jeremy.” Vera greeted back.

Martin was an almond skin boy with long brown hair and a handsome diamond-shaped face. His eyes are hooded, small, and brown. Martin is Vera's half-brother and was Twila's boyfriend of two years, now ex-boyfriend but still great friends.

“S'up, Jeremy. How's it been?” Martin made conversation.

“Okay. How about you?”

“Fan-fuckin-tastic. I got this new skateboard from my dad. It—”

“Please, stop talking about the skateboard. No one cares, Martin.” Vera twists her head briskly at her brother before aiming her sights back at the road.

“You're just mad I'm better than you.” Martin retorted.

“Ha! Better than me? Jokes. . . That was a funny joke.”

“You—”

“Please, can you turn on the radio? Don't need to hear your brother-sister bickering.” Jeremy and Clarkson chuckle at Twila's insult. Vera rolled her eyes yet she did what was told and made a turn; passing The Mystic Grill. The song WANNABE by Spice Girls blasted throughout the dark blue color car.

Vera, Clarkson, and Twila belled along with the song. Martin and Jeremy had no choice but to tolerate the ordeal of their boisterous singing.

“So, here's a story from A to Z. You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully. We got Em in the place who likes it in your face.” Twila bells.

“You got G like MC who likes it on a. Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady. And as for me?” Vera follows.

“HA, YOU'LL SEE.” The three teens yell from the top of their lungs like a banshee's cry.

“C'mon guys.” An annoyed Jeremy wailed.

Martin's eyes traveled from the backseat to his sister. “Yeah, guys cut it off.”

“Slam your body down and wind it all around! Slam your body down and zig-a-zig ah!” They laughed at how irked the two boys were.

Twila pushed herself off her seat, her lips went to Martin's ear. “If you wanna be my lover!” Twila ear-splittingly sings.

Martin slapped his hand against his ear, “Twila, what the fuck!”

“You gotta get with my friend!” Vera sings.

“Friendships last forever!” Clarkson followed along.

“Friendship never eennnnds!” The three belled.

“That's not how it goes.”

“I don't give a shit, Martin. Now, get out of my car. We're here.” The long-haired boy rolled his eyes and pushed the car door open; he stepped out. The four other kids in the car followed shortly after.

“So — the boy had to sleep with her friends to be considered her lover?” Jeremy queried his eldest sister.

“That's not the message of the song, Jer.”

“Well, that's what it said.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Hey, Jeremy.” Vicki Donovan smiled making her way to Jeremy.

Jeremy copies and greets her back. “Hey, V.”

“Twila.” She uttered, moving her eyes to Twila.

“Victoria.” Twila gave a faint smile. Vicki and Twila were once good friends. They got especially close when Elena and Matt started dating but had a fallout this summer when she started to use her baby brother for his prescription pills and sleeping with him to avoid her own screwed-up life.

“Okay, let's go bitc—” Vera stops when her eyes set on Vicki Donovan. “Speaking of bitch.” Her hip cocked out, her fingers tucked into the back of her blue denim jeans pockets.

Vicki's mouth agape and her brows knitted. Her lips hastily retrieve with a curl and a scoff. Vera took hold of Twila's wrist, pulling the girl away from Vicki.

“See ya, Jeremy.” She said as the group of friends part ways from the young boy and ex-friend. “I still can't believe you allow him to be around her.”

“There are certain things I can tell Jeremy to do and certain things I could. He's hard-headed like that.” Twila explained with a shrug.

Lunch came fast for Twila. She had six-period lunch and had Mr. Tanner after. She was tired and glad the school day was almost over. Then she remembered she had to help Caroline with picking out some fresh faces for the new year try-outs after school. Great. She sighed.

“You look exhausted,” Vera slid, sitting down on the curved seat. She set her tray on the round cafeteria table. Today's lunch is a ham sandwich, chicken nuggets, apple, and a side of salads with a dressing of your choice and beverage. The food at Mystic Falls High wasn't so bad.

“I am.” Twila pushes her hair back, fingers gripping her hair softly. “I just wanted to go home after school and have a nice bubble bath, but I have try-out picking to do after school.” She wailed and pouted. Twila felt like sobbing, she truly needed and wanted that bubble bath.

“Aww, don't be so down, Twila. I'm sure you'll be fine.” Vera grabs a hold of her sandwich, taking a big bite.

“Let me detail it for you.” Twila leans forward, her hair falling as she moves her fingers and locks her big eyes with Vera's deep-set ones. “I'm try-out picking after school — with Caroline.”

“Ohh. . .” Vera sees the problem now.

Twila smiled tightly and her eyes squinted a bit and a little hum leaving her lips. Her smile says: now you get it. “It's going to be hell.”

“Aww, Twila. I'll be there for you.” Vera's mouth was occupied by food, she kept her teeth locked while her lips moved. The words came out muffled. Twila smiled anyway.

“You will?” Twila's lower lip pushes out.

Vera nods and speaks after swallowing. “If you need me, of course.”

“Aww, thanks,” The short-haired brunette joined her palm on top of Vera's hand. “But I can't do that to you.” She removed her hand, stealing Vera's apple. “I'll go through the belly of the beast on my own.” She takes a bit of the apple. Vera laughed.

“The belly of what beast?” Clarkson arrives, taking a spot next to Vera; Martin follows beside him.

Vera's eyes travel to the raven-haired boy. “Caroline.” She informed him.

“What about Caroline?” Martin questioned.

“I've got some fresh cheerleaders to pick out with Caroline after school.”

“Oh.” Clarkson and Martin mumble. Twila nods at the boys, chewing through the green apple.

Martin swallows down his food with water before speaking. “Aren't you co-captain? Can't you just do it another time?”

“No.” She placed the apple down on the table. “I'll just get it over with.”

“Clarkson, where were you last night?!” Barbie Forsyth asked, approaching the small group. Clarkson eyed up his sister. She stood with her hands at her hips.

“At Twila's.” He answered honestly. Barbie's eyes went to Twila; they had a squint to them.

“Of course.” She scoffed, shifting her eyes back at her brother.

The bottled blonde — Barbie Forsyth — never had a good relationship with Twila Josephine Gilbert. Ever since Twila ruined Barbie's gingerbread house in elementary school; just because she wanted a piece. And the other time they were partnered up in a history project. Barbie had done all the work and Twila just plastered her name on the paper. But those weren't the reasons why Barbie didn't like the big-eyed Gilbert all that well. For as long as she could remember, Clarkson and Twila were inseparable. She always felt like Twila was more of Clarkson's sister than she ever was.

“Why were you at her house?”

“I, uh. . . I needed someone to talk to.”

Barbie's head jerked forward. Unbelievable, she thought. “You could have talked to me.” Her light green eyes stayed on her brother; it made Clarkson feel guilty the way they were intensely piercing at him. Her eyelids blinked and she rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I wanted to speak to you last night.”

“Okay. . . What?”

Barbie glanced at Twila, who like everyone else at the table was focused on them. Barbie looked back at her brother. “Not here in front of her.” She yanked the boy, pulling him off his seat and away from the group.

Vera chortle, aiming her sight on Twila. “I'm guessing she still hates you for not doing the history project in middle school.”

“Ha, guessing?” Martin uttered. “It's a known fact she does.”

Twila laughed along with her friends, brushing down the fact that deep down she felt awful that her best friend's sister hated her for something she did in middle school. Not knowing that Barbie didn't dislike her because of some petty school project issue, the bottled blonde felt like Twila took her brother from her.

“Once our home state of Virginia joined the confederacy in 1861, it created a tremendous amount of tension within the state. People in Virginia's northwest region had different ideals than those from the traditional deep south. Then Virginia divided in 1863 with the northwest region joining the union.”

In the back corner of the room, Twila sat near the large windows. Mr. Tanner's voice was inaudible to her ears as she doodled in her history book. Through the windows, the evening sun rays hit the desk of students and the classroom floor. One golden glint shimmers comfortably on Twila's hair. A rainbow hues sat at her open history book, making Twila stop her hand movement. She admired the reflection of the colorful lights. Rainbows are one of Twila's favorable things about nature. Rainbows and heavy rain on a lazy afternoon, but she always hated the after smell. It always smelled of wet soil and moist greens.

Her large eyes wandered to the windows, it landed on the tree just outside Ms. Tanner's classroom. A crow sitting perfectly inanimate, as if it was a statue.

It was larger than most. Its feathers pitch as black but the little sunlight that hits its feathers shine a rainbow on it. It was sleek and had greedy dark claws and a sharp beak. Its black eyes glittered, and they were fixed on Elena; the brunette that sits two rolls down from Twila.

Twila watched the crow leer at her twin with this inclination in its eyes. Like how boys' eyes linger on a girl wearing tight clothes; those tops that pop out their cleavage or dresses that outline their bodies.

It was creepy, to say the least.

Then its dark eyes blink at Twila. The girl flinched back a bit, her eyes got broader, but they stayed on the bird. It was like the bird was challenging her; playing with her. A game of who would look away first.

The school bell boom, Twila flinched once more. Her eyes flutter to the front of the classroom seeing everyone packing up.

She lost.

Twila stood up, grabbing her book bag along, and followed her way out the room behind the crowd of teenagers. The short brunette sauntered her way through the crowded hall; she made a right, passing four classroom doors before reaching the staircase. She walked four flights of stairs down, landing on the first floor she went to her locker, putting and taking some of her things then — to Caroline she went.

Twila walked through the football field towards the concern the school gave the cheerleaders to practice. Her eyes gazed at the wannabe cheerleaders of all ages and sizes perfecting their moves. It brought a smile to her face.

Until Caroline spoke.

“Ugh, there you are.” The blonde's voice reached Gilbert's. Twila rolled her eyes. Always Caroline, the extra control Queen.

“Hello to you too, Care.” Twila drops her bag on the green cut grass. “Let's get this over with, shall we?” Some in the flock of wannabe cheerleaders chortle.

Caroline narrows her light bluish-green eyes before throwing Twila a mocked cheesy grin. The blonde pulled the sheet of paper to her eyesight. “Okay, first off you are going to be asked some questions — okay.” The group nods. “Okay, any of you guys have experience with cheerleading? Like gymnastics, dance, or have ever cheered before? If you have, raise your hand.” Caroline nods and marks it down. Caroline glanced to her side, “You want to say something, or are just going to stand there. Co-captain.”

Twila steps forward with a smirk. “All who have experienced step forward, those who don't. Please take a seat at the bleachers.” They followed their orders and Twila continued. “Now I want you all to show me what you've got. Jump, tumble, split, dance? Whatever you've got.”

The fourteen that step forward show Caroline and Twila what they could bring to the team. Both girls watched with sharp eyes. Twila had nicely commented on one girl who intended to do a cartwheel backflip after Caroline rudely told her she shouldn't try it again.

Twila told her she should. She did and succeeded. It was much better the second time around.

Throughout the try-out, Caroline rolled her eyes, scoffed, and scored the wannabe cheerleaders. Twila on the other hand praised and nicely Judged their performance. But she had snickered here and there with the blonde.

“Okay, we are done.” Twila was glad. “Those who made the team will be getting an email in two days and those who didn't,” Caroline sucked air through her teeth. “Too bad.” She shines her big smile, “Okay, bye.”

It was late afternoon and the sun cast a golden shadow upon the sky and Twila didn't care that it was four something when she got home, she was just happy she got her bubble bath. Her arms rest on the top edge of the tub and her hair held up by a black hair claw. She relaxed peacefully in the warm water and the smell of cinnamon, she bathed in the quietness. That was until Elena ruined it.

“Elena!” Twila shouts at her sister that breaks into the bathroom.

“Sorry,” Elena says. “Bleeding.” She put her foot on top of the toilet cover and rolled the bottom of her jeans up.

Twila looked down seeing the dry blood, “What happened?”

“I fell in the cemetery when I was running from a crow.

“Running from a crow?” It's brought a chill down Twila back. Her mind wondered if it could be the same crow watching her from the tree outside Ms. Tanner's window. No, she's just being paranoid.

“Yes.” Elena rolled down the leg of her jeans after cleaning the scraps on her leg and putting on a bandage.

“What were you doing at the cemetery?”

Elena put her foot down on the bathroom ground, sighed, and sat down on the bath cover. “I went to see mom and dad.”

Twila rolled her pretty eyes. “But you didn't see them, did you? You went to see a stone with their names plastered on it.” Twila's fingers wave in the bubble, playing with them. It was stupid for Elena to go see a piece of rock with their parent's names on it. It wasn't gonna bring them back, She thought, nothing was gonna bring them back.

Elena sighs and brushes her hair back. “I'm going to the grill, you want to come?”

“No thanks,” Twila looks over her shoulder. “I had a long day, I'm just gonna relax at home.”

The elder's twin nods, “Okay.” Elena left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Twila fell back to the bath and relaxed once again.

A.N— Maine focus characters & Twila's outfit

#tvd fanfiction #vampire diaries fanfiction #vampire diaries x reader #damon salvatore x oc #elena gilbert #bonnie bennett #salvatore brothers #stefan salvatore

[hellreads]

For anyone who saw this, i urge u to read Right of Way. Okay io, my heart. First, as a jk stan, i feel like a several punches hit me from every direction. I'm the kind of reader who easily immersed into the character especially w the pronoun 'you' i feel like someone is reading me a story of my life, so yes i am bawling, usually it took me a few fluff or smut fic to simmer down the emotion but not this one. I went to bed with swollen eyes. I couldn't read a shit after that.

I will put all my answers under the cut because this is RoW and my emotions for this fic has no end T_T | 🍒

❤️ Rara | 🍒 Io (I decided to answer it as if we’re just chatting and not hurting rip our weak hearts for RoW Jimin, Jungkook, and OC)

[AN EXCHANGE FULL OF SPOILERS]

❤️ : For anyone who saw this, I urge u to read Right of Way. Okay io, my heart. First, as a jk stan, i feel like a several punches hit me from every direction. I’m the kind of reader who easily immersed into the character especially w the pronoun ‘you’ i feel like someone is reading me a story of my life, so yes i am bawling, usually it took me a few fluff or smut fic to simmer down the emotion but not this one. I went to bed with swollen eyes. I couldn’t read a shit after that.

🍒 : Rara, I feel you!!! I am the type of reader who hardcore immerses herself even if the main character gets killed or is a ghost because the best way for me to relate and feel everything to the core is to immerse, I can never read something as an outsider, okay maybe there’s a few I started out as an outsider but eventually caved in (even named OC fics lol, it’s fun to be someone else), sorry to break it to you but NO FIC CAN EVER HEAL THE DAMAGE RIGHT OF WAY HAS DONE TO YOU, NO FIC CAN MAKE YOU FORGET OF THE EVENTS, THE MISTAKES, THE REGRETS, THE PENANCE, THE ACCEPTANCE, THE WEIGHT THIS FIC WILL HAVE ON YOU IS TOO HEAVY YOU NEED A SUPPORT/SUFFER GROUP. 

ONCE YOU READ RoW YOUR HEART WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

❤️ : RoW jk is childish, to me. But maybe he is just naive or confused. For him to fall for oc but still care about sohee is kind of dick move to me, but someone once told me “we cannot choose who fall in love with, and we certainly cannot choose how it will happen either”. That’s their fates. I’m pretty satisfied w the ending bcs there’s no bad person in this story, just bad decisions. What saddens me is, it seems like only OC who pays the price.

🍒 : That is true that he seems like a childish one but isn’t that the beauty of being a child? loving without limits, with all your heart? no hesitations, just trusting that love will be kind, good, untainted even, he saw something in OC that’s why he opened up himself to her and fell for her even if we cannot fully understand the set-up they agreed to have, I hated him for staying with Sohee, I could never understand that part but then again have you seen how feral Sohee was for Jungkook? the girl would kill for the boy, she snaked her way to get him and she’d do anything for history to not repeat itself, but the gods said fuck you Sohee we’ll let the boy stray, he cheated once, he’ll cheat again, what makes you think you’re special hun? you’re right nobody is a bad person here since they’re all humans, something led them to commit the sins they’ve done in this lifetime…

Sohee’s Fault was stealing Jungkook from Seulgi, she was head over heels for him she didn’t think twice, she just wanted to get him at all costs even if it means karma will find her sooner or later, she lusted after him and eventually loved him so there’s no way she was letting go, hence, she carefully planned everything so she gets pregnant with his baby, sick right? but the reality is she’s not the only one who did this thing to their partner, she just didn’t fucking care as long as she keeps Jungkook.

Jimin’s Fault was trusting and loving OC too much he shrugged every sign of her infidelity under the rug, what a libra thing to do Jimin (I am a Libra and I can attest to this Libra trait especially when in love) he was too blinded by love that he gave her every benefit of the doubt whenever she skips dates, goes home late, always tired, even asking to be fucked dog style, sigh, he lost the love of his life to his best friend (well he lost his loves twice to the same boy) she was nothing but an empty shell pre-programmed to respond to him like a lover would and that fucking hurt, I think among the four characters here he received the most damage cluelessly, what a poor loving soul, my heart shattered for him, he only wanted to give her the world but she decided to run to a different planet.

Jungkook’s Fault was being weak and not opening himself up to Sohee, if he only opened up to her the way he did to OC then this wouldn’t have happened,  she’s always been there but something is still missing but he should’ve talked things with her instead of finding solace in the arms of OC, because of the secret class they shared they had to write something together which I think could’ve been written minus their drunken state but whoops this is their fate, maybe in another universe they belonged together and they’re trying it as well in this one? (coherence fucked up my mind so I keep thinking of alternate universes) also, Jungkook did nothing to stop the sins they’re doing, he’s into deep inside her in every sense and there was no going back, he was willing to ruin relationships and friendships but fate was cruel, he only had a taste of his euphoria before everything came crashing down.

OC’s Fault was thinking she was strong enough to fight her strong feelings and urges, she thought she was not capable of doing such thing, she wasn’t a bad person, maybe the stable relationship really got to her (long-term relationships can get boring and it isn’t pretty) and having a taste of something or someone new is titillating, also, it wouldn’t be bad right? because it’s the worst, just like Jungkook she gave in to lust, god their sexual chemistry and actual chemistry off-sex is something every lover should have except they aren’t lovers but sinners trying to milk each other everything they got before the world reveals their secrets, she knew it was wrong but she always kept coming back for more, as much as she tried to stay away and forget about everything she keeps spiraling down with Jungkook, it was no longer a mistake but a choice. ultimately, she had to pay the price because that was her predicament, she got the short end of the stick, everything was ruined for her, her relationship with Jimin, Sohee, and Jungkook.

❤️ : If i could wish for a different ending i would say a happy ending but that is unreal. I would want oc to end up w jk, sohee didnt ended up pregnant. (Thats the thing isn’t it, when u’re pregnant u’re bound for life, for the sake of the child). Maybe oc can end up w jimin, she will live her whole life as jimin wife and also as a liar. Point is, the ending is “this is bound to happen, someone have to take the bullet” n i think it’s necessary rather than satisfying,

🍒 : You’re absolutely right about somebody taking the bullet and that’s obviously OC, this is why it fucking hurts, you know for a fact that she didn’t do all of this on her own, it’s not like she forcefully had her way with Jungkook, I’m just so appalled because he was a fuckboy and suddenly lost all knowledge and imagination on this exact position “It’s actually pretty shimple… The girl is straddling the guy, her back facing him while her face is turned to the side so he can kiss her.” imo, he tricked her by playing dumb, maybe it’s true they’re tipsy but he constantly bugged OC after which means he remembers everything they’ve done that one sinful night…

~ the first ending I hoped for was Jimin and OC getting back together, I prayed so hard that he’ll have the heart to forgive and take her back but this the reality of cheating and getting cheated on, no matter how much you try to mend and put the pieces back together it will never fit perfectly again, edges now cracked and torn there’s no way their perfect relationship will ever be the same, as one of my favorite songs said “with each passing day the pain still stays the same” no matter how hard Jimin tries, his trust and love for her will never be the same, he will always doubt her and be reminded of her infidelity, it will not be a pleasant ride for them so it’s better that they didn’t end up being together because even if time heals all wounds the scar she gave him will always hurt like a salted fucking open wound.

~ the second one I hoped for was that Jungkook gives up everything even if Sohee was pregnant, this is brutal I know but if he truly loved OC he would keep his promise and be with her, with or without a child growing inside his girlfriend because it’ll never be the same for them but unlike Jimin, Sohee was willing to try and forget because he loves Jungkook too much, I applaud her for trying but I believe she will never be truly happy, she will be constantly reminded of stealing Jungkook from Seulgi, forcing their child into this world as a trap to keep him, and the devastating fact that Jungkook was willing to give everything up for OC, and that for a short period of time he loved her like the world was about to end, and end it did, Sohee won in this lifetime, suffering is a small price to pay to be with Jungkook ig, they can try but reality will come checking up on them once in a while and it won’t be fun, their relationship is damaged but for Hikaru their innocent angel they will try. 

~ the last and ultimate ending I prayed for was OC ending up alone, another savage wish because I love suffering, but this was the only way for her heart to be free from all the pain and guilt, she suffered long enough by keeping secrets and coming back to Jungkook’s arms, she wasn’t a bad person, she was just weak and lost the battle in holding tightly onto her morals because love is something you can’t run away from, yes, I believe that she and Jungkook fell in love it was evident in the incriminating poem he made her “the tiny islands of your birthmark leading me to your center like a happy trail” he paid attention to every part of her and you don’t do that to a random fuck, it was hard not to love the pair despite the sins they’ve done because fuck I’m crying again, my chest now heaving from too much pain ugh, they were perfect (these lines should’ve been on my second ending but whatever I’ll get to my point) if only Jimin and Sohee didn’t exist or sure let them join the picture except they’re just random friends, but they’re not, and that’s why it sucks that she had to endure all of this losing a lover, losing a friend, and losing a soulmate (because fuck the way Jungkook loved her screams soulmate to me except he’s tied to another T_T)

❤️ : My favorite moment would be when jimin found the poems, man it went down like I’m falling from a cliff straight into the coldest sea on earth. U know when u ride a rollercoaster, on the falling part, u feel like ur heart is at ur throat? That how i feel as jimin reads the poem. Now imagine being jimin. Imagine being cheated on in the worst way anyone could possibly imagine. He was ready to propose to oc, jk is his bff, she fucked jk while he was away, on the couch next to their photo…

🍒 : RARA, I FELT THAT, I RECENTLY VISITED A FAMOUS THEME PARK AND FUCK THE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE THERE TOOK MY SOUL, ALL I SHOUTED OUT WAS LOOOOOORRRRRRDDDDD AND I DIED ~ anyway, that poem part fucked me up, I was literally bawling my eyes out, I have been cheated on but if I happened to discover the affair the way Jimin did I would die, when I discovered my boyfriend of almost 8 years cheated on me my heart froze, literally fucking freezing cold and not a single tear dropped that day, the following days were hellish, that’s when I wanted to cry and release all my pain but still no tears (I knew it was coming I guess) ~ this is why the length of a relationship doesn’t really matter because it’s never an assurance that your partner will be faithful to you, maybe things got boring okay I admit to that but what I can never understand is, why stay and cheat and hurt your partner if you’re no longer happy.

no one owns anybody nor is anyone entitled to own anybody or have them as a back-up in case your mission to cheat or flirt fails, that is just fucking sick.

❤️ : I love it that I major in literature study, bcs i can keep my mind sane instead of just blaming myself (oc), i see it from each characters’ pov and god, the author deserves a standing ovation. This is so many asks hehe, i feel like i still have a lot to say but I couldn’t think straight right now, too clouded by the angst smoke, hehe p:s i love u more!

🍒 : ohhh that’s an interesting fact, my major and my profession has nothing to do with literature or anything, in fact, people who studied my major probs hate English ghasdjfghjdsagfhjsadgfjksd, I’m just used to seeing both sides of the story and trying to understand why they are like that, did something happen to them to end up in the situation they’re in? what is missing in their lives? what are they craving for? what tipped off the balance? nobody wanted to be in the predicament they’re in, Sohee, Jimin, Jungkook, and OC were victims of time and circumstance, just because things didn’t turn out the way you want them to doesn’t mean life or fate or destiny is cruel, this is the nature and balance of this universe, if they give everything to us freely even if we tried taking it in the most inappropriate or evil way there would be nothing but chaos, I just hope that somewhere out there our girl OC is happy and having the time of her life, I’m no longer wishing for Jimin to come back, I just want all of them to heal and learn from their experience, it’s sad and painful but they were just never meant to be, Jimin nor Jungkook was never meant for OC, OC wherever you are my love, I hope you’ve healed and loved yourself well and put back the pieces of your broken self together, love will find you and it will be beautiful.

#answered #tete-a-tete #ft #qq #rara #joonkookiemonster #RoW suffering club #THIS IS AN EXCHANGE BETWEEN DEVASTATED READERS OF RoW #SPOILER POST PLEASE AVOID AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ RoW YET #UNLESS YOU WANT TO SUFFER? BE OUR GUEST ~ #combined word count: 2579k~ #this was super long i'm sorry rara ~ love you!

[ladylilithprime]

Sastiel Creations Challenge | @ladylilithprime

↳ Theme: One More | Prompt: Day

Fluff Bingo Square: Movie Night

=I Did Not Live Until Today=

Read on AO3

MOVIE NIGHT IN the Bunker had been originally instituted by Dean, and the insistence of Sam that everyone in the Bunker, especially a stressed out and overworked teenaged Prophet of the Lord, needed to take regular breaks to relax and unwind before the constant "go, go, go" made them all go crazy. Hunts would occasionally interrupt the ritual, postpone it for a couple of days, but none of them were allowed more than ten days without a mandatory Movie Night. Dean had insisted that Castiel join these movie nights whenever he was around, intent on "educating" the Angel in what he termed the "classics" of cinema. Castiel had confided privately to Sam that, upon viewing these so-called classics, he was gaining more of an understanding of Dean than he was of why the movies were classical, which Sam had assured him was normal.

Movie Night had been weird after the Trials, because Sam would start out watching the movie with Dean and whoever else was there, but suddenly it would be hours later and he wouldn't remember actually watching any of it despite not having moved. In the wake of Crowley showing up in Sam's head with the brothers' code word tripping off his tongue to warn him that he had an angelic passenger who had taken over the driver's seat, Sam figured he knew what had happened and maybe he felt a little tiny flicker of gratitude for Gadreel sparing him having to watch the monkey movies again, but that was drowned out by the overall feelings of shock and betrayal and rage because how could Dean do this to him?!

It was Sam's decision to continue Movie Night even though it was just him and Castiel in the Bunker now. The original purpose of enforcing a break on overworked humans was still valid, even though now the overworked human was only Sam, and the secondary purpose of introducing Castiel to human entertainment was also still in effect, perhaps even more so after Metatron had downloaded a huge selection of American pop culture into Castiel's head without much in the way of context. Without Dean to steer the selection towards action films and neither of them particularly interested in watching mindless violence and gore, plus Sam's increased aversion to psychological horror films, the movies they watched tended to veer more towards musicals. If Castiel suspected that this, too, might be a bit of Sam's rebellion against Dean's stubborn adherence to mullet rock as the only valid music to listen to, well, he didn't call Sam on it and Sam didn't choose to admit anything.

Tonight was another designated Movie Night, not because it had been too long since the last, but because Sam knew that after the failure of the tracking spell with Gadreel's extracted Grace he, at least, needed something where the fate of the world was less dependant on the outcome. In hindsight, queueing up Les Miserábles was probably not the best idea given the overall setting of the movie and the themes of melancholy and grief that pervaded it, but he suspected Castiel would appreciate the other themes of faith and sacrifice and second chances.

He probably should have expected Castiel's analysis of the story's themes to extend to their lives, but somehow it didn't even occur to him until Castiel blindsided him with an abrupt declaration that Jean Valjean reminded him of Sam.

"I'm sorry?" Sam blurted, not sure he had heard the Angel correctly.

"He is a good man who committed criminal acts for a good cause and was harshly punished for it even after his incarceration ended," Castiel explained, gesturing to the screen where Valjean's pay was docked in front of the other workers, who were openly hostile. "It does not matter to these people that his intentions were noble - to feed his family - or that the crime was relatively minor, all they see is the criminal record and discount the good heart of the man who committed it and is stained by that record in the eyes of the society he serves."

"Cas, that's not... I started the Apocalypse!" Sam said, shaking his head. "That's a good bit worse than stealing a loaf of bread and running."

"You killed a demon," Castiel disagreed. "A demon you had been told by everyone around you was responsible for breaking Seals and that killing her would stop things. You were deliberately not told that she was the final Seal and that killing her would release Lucifer because enough angels, myself included, believed that if you knew the truth then you would not have killed her. Yet you do not blame me for lying to you, or for changing my mind and breaking through my conditioning too late to send Dean in time to stop you. Nor do you blame Dean for breaking under Alistair and being the one to break the first Seal which set things in motion. Instead, you continue to allow people, including Dean who should really know better, to cast the blame for things beyond your control onto your shoulders and even take on blame and responsibility where there should be none, forgetting that any penance required for playing a part long ago set out for you has been more than served."

Sam looked away from Castiel's placid, deeply knowing expression, but found he couldn't focus on the screen until a flash of silver catching light drew his attention. "Look, I don't... whatever redemption I might have earned with jumping has to be cancelled out by the things I did after getting out again, especially all the crap I pulled without my soul--"

"Do you think yourself responsible for your soulless self's actions, even though your soul was still in the Cage being subjected to Michael and Lucifer's torments?" Sam frowned a little at the low notes of guilt and sorrow in the Angel's voice and looked over, but Castiel wouldn't meet his eyes, staring instead at the screen as the old priest backed up Valjean's lie of gifted silver and gave over the candlesticks as well. "Hm. Heaven has not treated you nearly so kindly as this priest does..."

"Castiel," Sam started to reach out, but found his courage falter and lowered his hand with a sigh. "I know you didn't leave my soul behind on purpose. I knew it then, too, even with you keeping secrets and never having mentioned it before that moment... sorry, too, about the holy fire."

"There is no apology necessary," Castiel refuted, though Sam thought he looked moderately grateful for it anyway. "You were right to be suspicious of my actions and motives at the time, if not for that specific reason."

"Still..."

"Sam, I assure you, I hold no ill will over your suspicion of me, nor for your actions to try and stop me. If anything, I am deeply grateful for your continued faith in me even after I had gone off the reservation and done you considerable harm." Castiel shook his head. "We are getting away from the main subject, which is that you are not responsible for the actions your body committed without your soul present."

"It was still my body," Sam argued. "My... impulses or whatever, stripped of my inhibitions--"

"Not true," Castiel interrupted. "Stripped of your higher empathic functions and natural moral compass that is your soul, your body behaved with logical precision not unlike how most Angels would act. While that behavior likely seemed heartless or 'dickish' at times, this was in part because of the contrast to your usual compassion and kindness, but you weren't actively malicious or uncontrolled. Everything, including the decision to go to Dean with the suspicion that something was wrong and to ask him to be your moral compass, was meticulously and logically thought out and reasoned for the most optimal outcome. Recall that your soulless self felt that it was for the best that your soul be retrieved and rejoined with your body, and only rejected the plan when the possibility that doing so would kill you was presented."

"Whereupon I promptly tried to kill Bobby! Cas--"

"Sam," Castiel turned fully to face him and glared at him in a way that reminded Sam forcefully of the fact that this was an Angel of the Lord. "You. Are. Not. To. Blame. Your soulless self attempted to kill a man who showed every sign of being ready to kill you by forcefully reuniting your damaged soul with your body. A soul, I must add, which did not deserve the torment inflicted upon it and to which we owed the continued existence of the human race."

"I was just--"

"Cleaning up your mess, so you've said." Castiel was beginning to look frustrated. "But the Apocalypse was not just your mess. It was Dean's, and mine, and Lucifer's, and Michael's, and every angel and demon and human servant of either side who worked towards setting it off earlier than my Father planned. I would even venture to say that it was my Father's fault for refusing to step in when, despite Raphael's delusions, we had very clear evidence from Joshua that He is still alive and close enough to be aware of the situation." The Angel reached forward then and covered the shell-shocked human's nearest hand with his own. "Your soulless self recognized that, and recognized the unfair imbalance, and quite rightly called us out on our lack of respect for you and your sacrifices. Since regaining your soul, Dean's insistence on leaving past transgressions in the past except when it suits him to drag them out as evidence of culpability and questionable judgement has driven your self-confidence down to the point where you have even allowed Dean to make you believe yourself at fault for not looking for a brother and non-human friend whom you had every reason to believe were dead and at peace.

"No more," Castiel said with a fire in his vessel's blue eyes that had nothing to do with his borrowed Grace. "Sam Winchester, you will listen to me and believe this if nothing else: You. Deserve. Respect. And for my part in allowing others to be negligent in giving you that respect, you have my apologies."

For a long moment, Sam could do nothing more than stare at Castiel, stunned speechless and feeling more than a few echoes of the old awe and wonder with which he had first viewed this Angel of the Lord who had saved his big brother from Hell. It seemed impossible to believe, even with Castiel staring into him and all but demanding that he do so. For all he knew, he had fallen asleep on the couch next to Castiel and all of this was somehow some sort of incredibly vivid dream like the ones he tried to pretend he didn't have about the Angel, because if anything stood a chance at making their current arrangement far more awkward than it ever needed to be....

Castiel must have seen something of his thoughts in his expression, because the intensity faded into sadness and then, before Sam could gather his wits enough to try and reassure him, turned to resolve. "I will remind you of this conversation later, so as to establish better credibility."

"Um..." Sam blinked. That was unexpected. "Okay? Thanks? I'll... work on believing you, Cas, I will, I just...."

"Have several years of conditioning for expecting the worst to work around, as well as the more recent problems with maintained perception of reality," Castiel nodded. "I will remind you as often as is necessary of your worth and worthiness."

Sam nodded, more for the lack of any other way to acknowledge Castiel's words than out of agreement or understanding, jumping a little when the music from the television screen picked up in volume. He turned back to the movie, flushing darkly when he realized that they'd completely missed Fantine's entire arc and Valjean's crisis of conscience, and reached for the remote. "Oh, hey, let me--"

"No, it's--" Castiel's grip on Sam's hand tightened, then released with enough abruptness that Sam found himself stopping anyway, turning questioning eyes on Castiel. "I confess that I have been, ah, 'cheating' with this film, as it is one of the stories that Metatron saw fit to share, though not this particular version."

"Should we put on something else?"

"If that is what you prefer. I am enjoying watching it with you regardless."

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if that was because of Castiel's bizarre comparisons between Sam and Valjean, but he swallowed it back and instead forced himself to settle back into the couch beside Castiel to watch the introduction to the Thénardier family and Cosette. The silence stretched between them as the music played, until--

"Sam? Why is Thénardier's wife making that gesture when she sings that there is 'not much there'?"

Sam swallowed down the urge to choke or laugh, because of course Castiel would ask about that. He cut a sharp glance in the Angel's direction to check if he was being trolled, but Castiel's expression showed only genuine puzzlement. "Uh... Well, I mean, uh... some guys get kinda hung up on penis size, uh, taking the whole 'bigger is better' idea way too seriously and, uh, thinking that bigger size makes them better able to please their partners, which, uh, really isn't true across the board. And, uh, there are a lot of guys who think that having those, um, extra inches is all they need for it to be good for their partner, which also isn't true." He found himself looking at the screen in a gambit to not have to meet Castiel's eyes, and moments later he pointed. "See, she's saying the line again without the gesture. So, uh, the implication is Thénardier falls doubly short of the mark."

"I see," Castiel said, his tone meditative. With his eyes averted, Sam couldn't see the speculative look the Angel sent in his direction, though he definitely heard the pointedly dry tone when Castiel added, "Mrs Thénardier would do better to find a more skilled pizza man."

Sam jerked his head around to stare at Castiel again, but this time the Angel's expression was the same sort of bland that he used when trolling Dean, and so Sam managed to force out a chuckle for the joke before settling in to watch the dynamics between the Thénardiers and Cosette with its very Cinderella vibe. Castiel muttered something about "punching John Winchester again" that made no sense and Sam wasn't sure he wanted to know about anyway, and then made a brief comment about Cosette's dream being similar to many human interpretations of Heaven, but otherwise said nothing until Valjean told Cosette that he was now her father.

"Another parallel," he said. Sam, who had hoped Castiel had forgotten about his weird fixation by this point, blinked in confusion.

"Uh, Cas, I'm pretty sure I haven't gone and adopted any random kids," he pointed out. Really, that seemed more like something Dean would do than him, Dean actually really liked kids and liked the idea of being a dad while Sam... not so much.

"Random, no," Castiel agreed. "You are, however, extraordinarily compassionate. I suspect that, if presented with an orphaned child whose situation required more specialized guardianship than a more normal human fosterage system could provide, you would be an excellent parental figure." He was silent for a moment, pensive and troubled, and then said, softly, "I had never had Nephilim of my own, nor am I likely to do so in the future, but if I did and was unable to care for the child myself, I would ask you."

"Me?" Sam gaped at him. "I mean, why me? Why not Dean?"

"Dean has an unfortunate history of being less than tolerant of supernatural occurrences, of children with powers beyond most human capabilities," Castiel said, shooting an apologetic glance at Sam even before Sam was aware of wincing. "A Nephil would inevitably have powers, and I am a Seraph. Only an Archangel could overpower and suppress the Grace of a Nephil sired by me, and there are no more Archangels available to do so. You have powers of your own and training in using them, albeit with an enhancement method that I would not recommend using with a Nephil, and would be well suited to teaching."

"Cas, my powers--"

"Are yours and yours alone. Azazel may have forcefully activated them on his own schedule and attempted to corrupt them and, through them, you, but he - and Ruby - failed. Your soul is far too pure and good for their hooks to find permanent anchor."

"But... I mean, you... angels... you always warned me against using them...."

"Only because the method with which you were amplifying them - that is, drinking demon blood - was so dangerous to you and the people around you, and training them to full strength properly after first tearing down Azazel's blocks would have taken considerably more time and effort... and, I suspect, those of my superiors actively assisting in bringing about the Apocalypse did not want you learning to use your powers without the addictive crutch of demon blood that could be used to prime your rage and point you at Lilith when the time came."

"So why are you just now telling me this?"

"Well," Castiel glanced away, looking somewhat sheepish. "To be honest, I did not realize that you were unaware that your powers were innate and not actually demonic in origin until I overheard you speaking of them in past tense as if they no longer existed because you were no longer drinking demon blood rather than you simply not using them. Given my clumsy understanding of social nuances and the complex mix of negative emotions you associate with your powers, I erred on the side of caution and did not mention it until our current conversation provided an opening."

Well. That was fair. Even so, Sam couldn't help but stare at Castiel as he attempted to process everything he had learned in such a short amount of time. The fact that the majority of Angels hated him was not new, but the fact that Heaven had actively sabotaged his efforts to be better than the demon blood that tainted him was... also not new, exactly, but Sam had never expected to hear it put so bluntly in conjunction with reassurance that his powers - and, by extension, Sam himself - did not come from a source of evil.

Even more bewildering was the hypothetical child Castiel spoke of and his assertion that Sam, not Dean who had always longed to be a parent, but Sam who had barely ever had anything to do with children even when he had been one, was to be given custody of the hypothetical Nephil if Castiel was incapacitated. The way Castiel had talked about the subject made it clear that he had never had Nephilim himself, and Sam knew that the creation of Nephilim was outlawed, and yet the Angel was sitting there, calm as you please, declaring that if he did ever have a child with a human and needed another parent besides himself and, presumably, the mother, that he would pick Sam. Sam, who was uncomfortable around kids at the best of times, even if he could fake passable competence in an emergency. Sam, who wouldn't trust himself to look after a completely human baby, never mind one that had "phenomenal cosmic powers" at its disposal. Sam who, until earlier when Castiel had declared that "nothing is worth losing you", had thought that Castiel might possibly consider him a friend at best and tolerated him as a reasonably useful asset at worst. Mind-boggling just didn't cover it.

And that wasn't even touching the whole thing with Castiel sounding like he was defending the actions of his soulless self. The subject of Sam's time topside without his soul was something Dean had never hesitated shut down hard, but Castiel had sounded almost... complimentary. Which made no sense, Sam knew, because without his soul he had been a tactless jerk, not--

"Your soulless self recognized that... and quite rightly called us out on our lack of respect for you and your sacrifices."

Sam swallowed against the lump forming in his throat, and again when it refused to be dislodged. Everything he did to help people, to try and make up for the damage he had caused, it never felt like enough. All the centuries spent in the Cage with Michael and Lucifer systematically taking out their rage on him amounted to only a year and a half on Earth, and the tortures blurred together to the point where Sam had long since lost count of how many centuries it had really been, shoving it down and shoving it down, his shaky forays into meditation and reshuffling his mind only managing to build the flimsiest of fences between his conscious mind and that echoing chasm of memory and pain, bits and pieces escaping here and there to scratch along his dreams. Little reminders that he may be out, maybe, but he would never be truly free. It was a truth, cold and logical and inexorable, that Dean refused to acknowledge in either of them, touched by Hell as they both were in different ways, and neither of them coping nearly as well as they wanted the other to believe.

"Stripped of your higher empathic functions and natural moral compass that is your soul, your body behaved with logical precision not unlike how most Angels would act."

The irony of an Angel of the Lord comparing his soulless self to other Angels was not lost on Sam, nor was the way that comparison gave him mixed feelings. All the years of praying, of believing in God and His Angels, having faith that some higher power was watching out for Dean and his Dad when he couldn't, that there was real good in the world to counterbalance all the evil being shoved at him from all sides...

"Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood."

...no....

"Nothing is worth losing you."

...but why....

"Sam? Sam, did you hear me?"

"Hm?" Jolted from his contemplating, Sam shot a guilty look first at the screen - how had he missed that much of the movie?! - and then gave Castiel a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Cas. What were you saying?"

"I was asking about Marius's assertion that he is in love with Cosette, when he has only just met her and barely interacted with her at all," Castiel repeated himself after a moment of scrutiny for his friend. "It seems disingenuous, more like the 'love' of the pizza man and the babysitter."

"It's supposed to be love at first sight, Cas," Sam explained, scrubbing a hand down his face. "It's like... when two people who've never interacted before meet, and there's this... connection that forms between them, like they click on a level that is deeper than physical or emotional. A look, a touch of hands... you just know, looking at that person, that this is it. This is the one." He shrugged. "It's talked about in books and movies and stories and songs all the time as this big romantic ideal, a lot like soulmates... uh, cupid-type soulmates, not me and Dean type soulmates."

"Do you not believe in love at first sight?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side with that puzzled curiosity that Sam found endearingly familiar.

"I don't disbelieve in it," Sam said, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, being a hunter has taught me that every story has some root in a truth. I just don't necessarily think that it always happens the way the stories make it sound. Like maybe sometimes it's one-sided, or something gets in the way like they live too far apart or one is already married or..." Sam bit his lip before he could continue the thought with mention of angels and humans, because he knew from Castiel that most instances of humans and angels coupling were less about romance and love and more about lust and awkward power imbalances, and the last thing he wanted to bring up right now was the hypothetical Nephil again. "Besides, just because love usually happens more slowly than a couple of seconds doesn't make it any less deep or meaningful or special."

"I see," Castiel hummed, and then, "Sam? How do you know when you're in love?"

...Shit.

"Uh," Sam reached up to rub the back of his neck, only to force his hand back down again when he realised what he was doing. "It's different for everyone, Cas...."

"I am aware," and there was a definite note of impatience in the gravelled voice. "I am asking how you know when you are in love."

"Oh," Sam mumbled. He could feel his face heating up and very nearly prayed that the heat wasn't a visibly obvious blush before he stopped himself; Castiel would probably hear it if he did. "Uh, well... not to sound like a broken record, but it was different for everyone I was... I mean, I felt differently about different people, even though it's all still love."

Castiel made an encouraging noise, and when Sam chanced a look in his direction, the Angel was turned more towards him than the screen, clearly interested and wanting to hear more. Well, okay then. Sam leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, reaching back into the depths of his memory for the times he was in love or thought he was, shying away from some of the memories like Madison or Sarah or Amelia, and focusing on the deeper ones, the ones that got under his skin and stayed there across the years, even just as scars. There was a pattern there, a set of feelings that overlapped each instance.

"Happiness," he began, because that was the obvious place to start. "When you see the person, you feel happy. Being around them, sitting next to them, holding hands, hugging... full of happiness and joy and peace. You feel happy when they're happy, sad when they're sad, hurt when they're in pain... You want to protect them, even when you know they can protect themselves. You would fight, kill, even die for them, not because they would ever ask it of you, but because losing them is... unthinkable. It's agony. And all the pain is worth it, because seeing them smile is... it's better than Heaven."

"Oh," Castiel breathed. "Yes, that... that makes so much sense now."

There was a shuffling sound, and the couch cushions dipped beneath shifting weight, and then Sam felt one of his hands being enfolded in Castiel's, the skitter of that unfamiliar Grace held tightly leashed beneath his skin tingling just at the edge of Sam's awareness. He opened his eyes and looked at Castiel, who was beaming at him now from much closer than he had been. "Cas...?"

"Sam," Castiel was still smiling, but it was warmer, softer than the brilliant joy of before, more comfortable and... "Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I was never able to explain myself adequately to my brothers, and so they frequently drew incorrect conclusions that I lacked the necessary frame of reference to refute or correct. Perhaps now I can make them understand."

"Understand?"

"That I am in love with you, Sam Winchester," Castiel squeezed Sam's hand gently. "My world started the day I took your hand. And I would not have it any other way."

"Cas... I...." He couldn't say it. He wanted to, God, did he ever want to say it back, but the words caught in his throat, too used to being choked back after so many years. "Cas...."

"I know. Sam? Will you hold me again? I enjoyed that quite a lot."

"Sure, Cas," Sam shifted, shoving the whirling of his thoughts back and away, and opened his arms. Castiel released his hand and moved closer, pressing the length of his body against Sam's. He let out a soft sigh as Sam brought his arms up to curl around Castiel, settling in a loose embrace that still managed to fully encompass the Angel's smaller physical frame. Together, they turned to watch the movie, wrapped up in each other and the mutual assurance that their feelings, spoken or not, were returned.

"Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in Heaven has in store...."

=End=

#sastiel #sastielcc #sastiel creations challenge #spn fluff bingo #supernatural fic

[marshaeb]

P.S: I'm Mated With The Cursed Alpha!

Chapter Fourteen

Hey guy! Don’t forget to Like, Comment, Review, and Follow for more updates! My apologies in advance for all the grammatical errors. Book will be professionally edited when completed.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Miss Joel, Happy Birthday to youuu!”

The entire day-care staff and the pups surrounded me, singing off-key in my ear.

“Happy Eighteenth Birthday, Joel!” Ms. Sumpter exclaimed, resting a chocolate cake in front of me.

“I know it’s not much, compare to what’s in store for you.” She winked. I smiled, but my heart was ready to erupt in my chest. “But please accept this token of our appreciation.”

I was overly emotional but also happy that I’ve finally reached a milestone in my life. From a little girl, I’ve always dreamed of this day. Finding my mate, falling in love, starting a family, but unfortunately, that could all change in a matter of seconds.

The things in life I wish I could control.

That day in the library was the last time I’ve seen Alpha Darius. I haven’t spotted him anywhere since, and it was nerve-wracking.

Damn, he’s so unpredictable! But little by little, I’m starting to figure him out.

Then again, I haven’t heard or seen Jackson since he told me returned the other day.

The suspense of it all...it was eating me alive! They’re both aware that it’s my birthday. Who knows what those two have planned for today.

My stomach started to breakdown as I overthink about the worst possible outcomes. What if...just what if those two run into each other.

All the demons in hell would break loose! And here I am, caught up in the mix.

I zoned out everyone in the room...my mind was far and my heart was too heavy to focus on those celebrating for me.

“Ms. Joel?” Ms. Sumpter called me out of my daze, concerned. “Is everything alright?”

Gosh! If only she knew...

I placed a happy facade on my face and smile up at her as a few of the pups gathered around me. They were only there because they wanted to blow out my candles.

“Everything’s alright... I’m just thinking about this big day.” I whispered.

“Oh yes, didn’t we all on our Eighteenth Birthday,” she said as the other caregivers agreed with a smile. “Today you turn a new leaf...that lucky fella is out there waiting for you.”

I wish it was that easy. I’m in a living love triangle at the moment and it’s driving me nuts.

“Yes,” I cleared my throat. “Thank you.”

I lean forward and blew out my candles. The pups cheered and popped their party time confetti at me.

Since it’s my birthday, Ms. Sumpter gave me the rest of the day off to enjoy myself, but to be honest, I was far from enjoying myself.

Any second now things could turn around, and Alpha Darius could be my potential mate.

Arriving home, just a the door, Samantha waited for me with a small box in her hand with a bright smile on her face.

“It’s from yours truly,” she said, placing the small box in my hand.

My heart melted for a second and for the first time for today a genuine smile widened on my face. Jackson sent me a box. He always loves to surprise me.

I took it in my hand and shook it near my ear. Something was clunking inside. I wanted so badly to see what it was, but first to my room.

Before I could make it to the second step, Mom called out for me in her office down the hall. The door was wide open.

“Yes, Mom?” I said, entering her office.

She leaned back in her chair, her desk full of paperwork.

“I heard Mr. Hamilton is Sarah’s mate and they are engaged to be wed next month.” She said, eyes fixed on her yellow booklet.

I rolled my eyes annoyingly and sighed “Yes, good for her...”

She rests down the booklet and looked over her glasses at me confusedly.

“Wow, you said that quite coldly for a best friend.” She said, taking off her glasses. “What’s going on with you two? She said. “She told me you two had a little scuffle at the hospital. Ever since she been trying to reach you, but you’re deliberately ignoring her.”

“It’s nothing really,” I mumbled. “She has her mate...and I got my problems.”

“But, she’s your best friend.” Mom replied. “She called to wish you a happy birthday. And told me to tell you, that as soon as she comes out of the hospital, she’ll be stopping by to see you and patch things up face to face. She wants you involved in her wedding plans.”

“She has her mate...let him help her!” I exclaimed heatedly, then I shut my eyes feeling shame for overreacting.

“I see... I don’t know what happened between you two, but obviously, I sense that it’s jealousy.” She said.

“Jealousy?” I repeated, upset that she called it out for what it was. “Jealous of what?”

“That she already has her mate...and that you are in a more complicated situation,” Mom replied. “You envy her. I’ll admit it’s kind of cute. It reminds me of when you two were younger and always had fallouts.”

“Well, this is different!” I said, getting even more upset. “I’m not interfering with her life any longer.”

“Don’t worry, you two will patch things in no time—

“No, Mom! I mean it this time.” I said, not giving my decision a second thought.

Mom folded her arms and shrugged her shoulders. “If you say so.” She said not taking me seriously, but I was as serious as a heart attack.

“Anyway, that’s not the only reason why I called you in here.” She said. “Are you enjoying your birthday so far?” She asked tiredly.

I breathed out anxiously and nodded my head, “Y-yes ma’am...so far so good...and thank you for everything—”

“No need to thank me for the breakfast in bed and the gifts...” She said. “It was mainly your father’s idea... You should thank him.”

“I-I did thank him before I left for work,” I said wanting to finish say what had I to say, but she kept cutting off. “But—

“I wanted to take you hiking to the lagoon, but obviously Alpha Darius ruined my plans.” She said, tapping her pen against the desk.

Mom wanted to take me to the lagoon?! I’ve always wanted to go there...ever since I learned about its magical healing powers in school. Almost every day in junior high, I would beg her to take me, but she was always too busy and promised me she would take me on one of my birthdays...my eighteenth birthday!

“Sorry for interrupting you...what were you going to say?” She said.

“I just wanted to thank you,” I said holding back tears. “I— I haven’t got the chance to do it earlier... Now that we’re alone, I just thought I’d tell you.”

“What are you thanking me for, Joel?” She asked. “Not for... protecting you... as I should, right?”

I cleared my throat and nodded my head. “But it’s not just that...these couple years I’ve been nothing but a troubled teen. Disobeying you, shaming you. Even though I’m not your biological daughter, you still put up with my rebellious behavior and loved me anyway. The gifts are nice and all, but...nothing can top you, Mom...” I said wiping my teary eyes. “And of course Dad, Sammy, and Samantha.”

She paused and shook her head at me. “You’re my daughter...it doesn’t matter, biological or adopted...your mine, Joel.” She said to me. “You know that I love you.”

I nodded my head. Her words touch me deeply. I couldn’t hold back the tears. They just kept flowing and flowing.

“Come here.” She said as I shuffle towards her slowly. She took my hand in hers. “You’re nervous aren’t you?”

I nodded my head, looking down at my feet.

“Nah uh, use your words...” She said.

“Y-yes ma’am.” I sniffled.

“I know you are...any second now you won’t belong to me any longer...it’s such a hard pill to swallow,” she said. “Especially for me and your father.”

A warm, relaxed sensation came over me for a split second as she rubbed her thumb over my knuckles.

“Who do you think it might be?” I asked softly.

She glanced up at me, “What do you mean?”

“My...Mate.” I said, seeing images of both Alpha Darius and Jackson in my head.

She sighed, releasing my hand, “I don’t know.” She said. “But there’s no doubt that you are Alpha Darius’s mate. Because of his curse, his chances of his mate accepting him in return is very, very scarce... but because of that, you have a chance of finding another.”

Part of me felt thrilled because my heart beats for Jackson, but a part of me felt bad for Darius... All he wants is for someone to love him in return, but Moon goddess why me? Why?”

“If that’s the case, why is he so determined if you know what’s to expect?” I asked.

“Because it’s obvious that you have an attraction for him as well. The stronger the connection the weaker the curse will be.” She said.

“I-I don’t have an attraction for him...” I said strongly, but deep down apart of me really did. Even when I don’t want it to. “I mean he is awfully handsome, but...but so is Jackson.”

“Jackson is nowhere close to Alpha Darius in looks, stature, and dominance, but they do have one thing in common... agility.” She said. “Regardless of who ends up being your mate, just know that you will be the most loved and protected thing in their life.

“Mom, w-what are you saying?” I said giving her a hard, confused look. “I thought you wanted Jackson to be my mate?”

“I’m just saying what it is, Joel.” She replied. “Of course I want Jackson to be your mate, but that doesn’t change your situation, does it?”

I shuffled uncomfortably where I stood and softly reply, “No...”

“Good, now the only thing we could do is wait and see what happens.” She said. “Jackson’s back and he sent a surprise for you. It’s upstairs in your room.”

Immediately I turned around and rushed upstairs to my room.

My bed was covered in rose petals, a few gifts, and a silk emerald dress. My heart fluttered in my chest...it was the sweetest thing. I was falling in love all over again.

I walked over and started with the smallest box. It was from Sarah.

Read:

Happy Eighteenth Birthday, Joel!

About the other day, please forgive me, I love you,

Love, Sarah

Getting overly emotional, I forcefully bite back my tears and opened the box. It was a silver bracelet with stars, my birth sign, and a blue moon that represented my birth month.

It was beautiful, but being immature and narrow-minded, I rest the bracelet back in the box and rest it on my nightstand.

My mind was solely focused on the surprise Jackson had for me. I opened his first gift, revealing the most beautiful black and silver rhinestone heels I always wanted. I took out a shoe and marveled at its beautiful detail.

Then my eyes drifted to another small box. Inside revealed the most beautiful drop diamond earrings I’ve ever seen.

“They’re beautiful!” I whimpered as I blinked back my tears.

My sweet, sweet Jackson. He did all of this for me not having a clue that our relationship is being compromised by another man. The same man that seduced me and in return I willingly seduced him behind my boyfriend’s back. Guilt and sadness started to take over me. Questioning myself if I should accept these lovely gifts that he wholeheartedly went out of his way to get me, his unfaithful girlfriend.

I looked over at the small box Samantha gave me at the door.

I opened it up and stared at the two chocolate kisses, my favorite candy, but there was also a folded piece of note inside. I unfolded it and read it aloud.

~Happy Birthday, sweetheart! I hope you love the gifts I sent you, there’s more to come...I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again. I’m going to wine and dine you tonight. Meet me at the Closure at 7:00 pm in your pretty, little dress.

Love, Jackson.

I instantly grew all bubbly inside and quickly ran into the bathroom to prepare my bath with the bath&body works Mom gifted me this morning for my birthday.

After soaking, shaving, moisturizing, and applying a small amount of makeup over my face and my neck, I fixed my hair into a curly afro.

The dress fit me so perfectly, showing my natural curves. The drop earrings complimented my complexion nicely. I felt like a million dollars, but deep inside I was still so nervous...nervous about what to expect.

As I walked downstairs, all eyes were on me.

“Is that you, Jo?” Sammy said with his eyes wide open.

Samantha playfully nudge her elbow into his shoulder, “Of course it’s her!”

I chuckled softly as Dad called for me.

“You’re so beautiful!” he said holding my hand. “My baby’s all grown up!”

“Ah, Dad you’re gonna let me ruin my makeup,” I said trying to force back the tears, kissing him on the cheek.

“Which we don’t want!” Mom said, sipping on a can of soda. “So it’s a date, that’s nice! Where to? I’ll drop you off.”

“It’s at the Closure,” I replied.

They all gasped sharply.

“The Closure, eh? That’s quite expensive.” Samantha said.

“Yup, Lad got that coin I see,” he said. “Maybe he can take me and my girlfriend out next.”

“Get a job, heffa!” Samantha said.

“Let’s get going.” Mom said as we headed out the door.

“Have a goodnight!” Dad and Samantha said waving as we left.

“Bring me a spare plate, Jo-Jo!” Sammy said as Samantha pulled him back inside the house.

After a short drive to the Closure, Mom dropped me off at the entrance.

“Tell Jackson there’s still a curfew for you,” she playfully winked. “Enjoy your night and stop worrying.”

“Yes ma’am,” I said as she drove off.

I turned around and face the entrance of the door and slowly walked towards it, but something felt off. The wind had a thrilling feeling to it and all my senses were growing sharp.

As I stepped inside the five-star establishment, I marveled at the elegant interior design as the hostess welcomed me.

“Welcome, to the Closure, ma’am,” she said.

“Oh, thank you,” I said looking around for Jackson, but it seemed as if he hadn’t arrived as yet. “table for two please.”

She escorted me to a comfortable seating near the frosted window under a stunning chandelier.

“Thank you!” I said as I took my seat.

This was so romantic, but where is Jackson? Probably late on purpose to surprise me. He always does that.

I glanced at the couple a few tables before me, indulging in a warm kiss. The scene made me melt inside a little, but then my mind went on Alpha Darius. Remembering the intense kiss we shared. I shook my head, trying to forget all about it, but my heart kept racing as I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat.

I have to stay focus. I have to get him out of my mind!

Five minutes turned into seven, then ten. Still, Jackson was nowhere in sight.

I was starting to grow worried. My mind raced with every disastrous thought I could think of. What if Alpha Darius got a could hold of him on his way here. He’ll find out that I’ve lied to him when I said I had broken up with Jackson when really, I didn’t.

“Oh, goddess! I can’t take this!” I muttered to myself.

I got up promptly and headed towards the lady’s restroom.

I looked myself in the mirror and took deep, sharp breaths. I just needed to calm down, but nothing seems to work.

“Come on, Joel, calm down,” I said. “Deep breaths...deep breaths.”

Gradually I became at ease when suddenly the restroom open and it locked behind the person who entered.

“You look really nice in your dress, princess.” The familiar deep voice said.

My ear flinched back as a sharp, chilling sensation rolled through my body. I slowly looked over, gasping deeply at the man standing before me. He was dressed in a fitted black suit that displayed his gold chain laying on his muscular chest. His jet black hair was slick back with a diamond stud in one ear.

He stared at me with those blazing golden eyes as a dark, cunning smile formed on his face.

It was Alpha...Darius.

“Happy eighteenth birthday!” he said with a smile.

Instantly, it hit me.

Every hair strand on my body stood upright as I inhaled a big whiff of his scent. It was a sharp, hazel, vanilla mixed with a hint of mango passion. It burned in the back of my nostrils, hitting my brain like a strong drug.

He took a step closer and his scent became even more potent.

I hunch over, feeling a slight churning feeling in the pit of my stomach. “That’s right...take me all in, baby girl,” he said. “You can’t fight it...the more you fight, the stronger it gets.”

My nails were shifting and unshifting into claws and the same with my teeth.

“I’ve kept my word...I’ve waited...” he said.

My wolf, she was raging, flipping, and howling from within, ready to emerge for the man standing in from of her. She has finally found her mate.

“I told you an Alpha knows when something belongs to him!” he smiled hungrily at me. “You officially belong to me, princess. Get ready for a hell of a ride!”

A/N

How do you like the book so far guys? Are you happy for Darius?

(Click the link below to continue)

[littleplebe]

Hi. I'm so worried I'm asking too much of you but after I saw your wish prompts, I couldn't resist. I enjoy mutual pining and I wish you'd write a fic about that. Please? And thankyou.

Hi there. Since you didn’t specify a ship, I went with my default otp setting, which is Shieldshock. Hope that’s okay and hope you enjoy this ficlet. :)

It had become a habit of sorts,Steve seeking her after missions. Darcy didn’t know when it started, but sheliked it, liked being the first person on Steve’s mind when he returned homefrom the field.

He didn’t ask for much, just satthere listening to her tell him about her day, or fell asleep on the couch ifhe was too tired to talk. He had nightmares often but they never spoke about them.Darcy let him set the pace, never pushing him into sharing more than he wantedto, never once forcing physical comfort on him. She was happy with just beingsomeone who was a regular part of his life. She didn’t need more.

Then, one day he hugged her andshe realized how wrong she was.

It wasn’t the first time he hadtouched her, but it was definitely the first time he had felt the need to buryhis face in the crook of her neck and forget about real life. He held onto herfor long minutes, breathing steadily into her hair while she murmured assurancesin his ear.

“It’s okay… everything’s okay…you’re fine… you saved the day again…” Her words seemed to calm him and, aftera while, his arms around her loosened and he pulled back with a shy smile.

“What’s for dinner?”

He caught her by surprise. Henever stayed for dinner.

“Um,” Darcy said, thinking fast.“Spaghetti.”

=======

She had always thought, when shefell in love with someone, it’d be a complicated relationship full ofcompromises. No guy would be able to appreciate or tolerate the work she did inAvengers Tower, constantly surrounded by genius scientists, self-sacrificingsuperheroes and the very real danger of occasional attacks.

But when she fell in love withSteve, it was nothing but simple. Shedidn’t have to lie to him about her work life, wasn’t worried he’d hide thingsfrom her (because she almost always knew what he was up to) and she definitelydidn’t feel like they had a complicated relationship. He had started comingover nearly every day now. They hung out, watched movies, ate dinner and,sometimes, he spent the night.

The first time he asked if he couldstay with her, he had returned from a mission with a bullet hole in his gut. Hestumbled through her door and right into her waiting arms.

“Darcy.” The desperation withwhich he whispered her name sent her heart racing. “Let me stay here tonight.”

She didn’t have to think twice toagree. Darcy was under no illusions about what he wanted from her. She knew allhe really wanted was companionship—hercompanionship, to be exact—and she was more than willing to give it him. Evenif it meant watching him sleep a whole footaway beside her on the bed. She slipped her hand between his lax fingersand closed her eyes.

Over time, it didn’t matter thathe wasn’t her boyfriend, or that he didn’t love her like she loved him. Hetreated her like she was the only thing in the world he enjoyed, the only thingthat mattered. His behavior confusedher, and Darcy didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, letting him pasther walls so easily into her heart. He was so integrated in her life that sheworried on days he didn’t show up.

But it had to be a bad thing,right? She had given up her entire social life to accommodate him, yet he onlyever saw her as a friend, someone who freely gave hugs and offered comfort on adaily basis. Her heart ached whenever he was around and, sometimes, it was sohard to be in his presence without thinking about his lips on her, that Darcyhad to go hide in the bathroom and take deep breaths till the urge passed.

It wasn’t fair… but that was herlife now.

=======

It took Darcy some time to noticewhat was happening.

At first, she didn’t see it,little things like an unfamiliar novel on the shelf, a pair of boxers in thelaundry basket, animal crackers in her kitchen cabinet. But when she did notice, the realization hit her likea bucket of ice. Everywhere she looked, there was something to remind her of Steve.His long blue toothbrush sat next to hers in the bathroom, his shield lay nearthe fireplace, his shirts and a pair of pants were set in a neat pile in onecorner of her closet, a sketchbook peeked out from underneath the pillow heusually slept on. Hell, even the sheets smelled like him!

It didn’t feel like she was inher apartment anymore. It felt like she was in theirs.

The transformation had undoubtedlybeen gradual, but it crept up on Darcy one day out of nowhere.

She panicked. When had thishappened? What was she supposed to do? Should she ask him about it, drawattention to the fact that his things finding their way into her apartment wasa big deal? Would he understand? Would he even get what she was reallyasking him?

When Steve arrived, she was bentover the kitchen island, heaving wet sobs into the circle of her arms. Shelooked up when a warm hand stroked down her spine. Steve took one look at herwrecked expression and pulled her into a hug.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered inher ear, the tenderness and concern in his voice drawing another loud sob fromher.

“I’m panicking,” she cried,curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt and holding on tight.

“About what?”

“You.”

“Me?” He kept his arms around herbut pulled away a little so he could look at her face. “What did I do?”

Darcy stared at him. He didn’tknow. He didn’t know!

She hated herself for it but sheknew it was time to come clean. She couldn’t let this charade go on if shedidn’t want Steve Rogers to completely ruin her life.

“What is your shield doing in myhouse?” The question came out more as an accusation but Darcy was past feelingguilty.

Steve’s brow furrowed. “It’s beenhere since I returned from my last mission.”

Darcy shook her head and hervoice rose as she demanded, “What about your clothes, your sketchbook, those fitnessmagazines on the coffee table, your boots in the hallway, your—?”

A hand to her cheek cut her off.“What’s this really about, sweetheart?”

Her lip trembled and her eyesfilled with fresh tears at the endearment. God, why was he so nice to her?

A tear slid down her cheek andSteve wiped it with his thumb, his touch gentle. His left arm was still wrappedfirmly around her waist.

“What are we, Steve?” Darcyfinally asked, quiet and defeated. “What am I to you?”

If he was surprised or puzzled byher question, he didn’t show. Instead, he tilted his head and regarded her withan expression she couldn’t quite place.

“Why are you asking this now?”

New tears rolled down her cheeksand she swiped at them angrily. “Because it seems like we’re nearly livingtogether and I… I don’t know what it means!” She looked at him then, and askedvery seriously, “So I ask again, what do I mean to you?”

Steve didn’t respond immediately.His eyes tracked the movement of his hand as it slid down her cheek to cup herjaw. He looked… conflicted. And scared. But the more he waited, the more upsetDarcy became.

When he finally spoke, the answerwasn’t what she had expected at all. “I love you.”

“What?” Her eyes were wide andthe word fairly hitched in her throat.

Steve gulped and nodded. “I do. Ilove you.”

He sounded sincere, desperateeven, so although she was utterly blindsided by his confession, Darcy had nochoice but to believe him. The way he was looking at her… had he always lookedat her like that or had she just never noticed?

“Wait,” she said forcefully,still a little lost on the how and the why. “Wait. Why don’t I know this? Whydidn’t you tell me before today?”

“Because I wasn’t sure if it waswhat you wanted,” Steve divulged, looking pained. “You were always so set onmaintaining boundaries. You didn’t touch me unless I initiated. You happily let me sleep in your bed but never kissedme. You were always there for me as a friend but you never made a move to be anythingmore. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to ruin what we already have.”

It felt like all the air had beensucked out of her lungs and she couldn’t breathe. Her stunned gaze flitted betweenhis eyes as her brain tried to process his words. And when the meaning behind themfinally sank in, Darcy let out a dry sob and rocked forward, pressing her faceinto Steve’s shoulder.

How had she not noticed hisfeelings for her? All these months, how had she been so damn blind? So selfish?

Steve tightened his arms aroundher and pressed his lips to her hair. “I’m sorry to put you through this,Darce,” he murmured. “I tried, I really did. But I couldn’t make myself stayaway. I want you. I want you all thetime!”

“Me, too.”

“Hmm?”

Darcy pulled away to look at himearnestly. She quickly wiped her tear-streaked face and declared, “I love you,too.” She paused and added, just so he’d have no reason to doubt her, “I havefor a long time.”

A flash of disbelief passed overSteve’s face as he studied her for several long seconds. Then, his eyes closedand he let out a long, relieved exhale. “Good. That’s good.”

“I love you,” Darcy whispered,trying out the phrase again.

Steve’s eyes opened and a softsmile spread on his face, a smile so fond and content that Darcy felt like her heart would burst.

“I love you,” she repeated. “Ilove you, I love you, I love you.” Saying the words felt so freeing shecouldn’t stop. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders andthe more she said those three words to him, the brighter her world became. “Ilove you, I love you, I love—”

There was a low huff of laughterand then Steve’s mouth was on hers, kissing her like she had always wanted to bekissed. Darcy closed her eyes and lifted her chin with a happy sigh.

It started out sweet and tender,an achingly slow exploration of trembling lips sliding against each other. Bodiespressed close and fingers dug desperately into warm flesh as their mouths cametogether again and again.

Steve touched her with a passionthat reflected her own, pouring all those months of pent-up emotions into thekiss. And it had been so long since she had been kissed in such a way that the accompanyingsensations nearly overwhelmed her. Her entire body felt like it was on fire andDarcy thought she would explode from the heat. A painful shudder shot through herwhen Steve pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and nipped, making her whimper andball her hands into the front of his shirt.

With a curse, Steve pulled awayand touched his forehead to hers. They were both breathing heavily, chestsbrushing with each inhale and hearts pounding wildly.

“Does this mean we’re livingtogether?” Darcy whispered, a small satisfied smile tugging at the corners ofher lips.

“Do you want us to be?” Steveasked, stroking his knuckles down her jaw.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll box up the rest of mythings and bring them here tomorrow.”

Darcy looked at him. “Why nottonight?”

His eyes dropped to her lips andDarcy felt the heat of his gaze down to her very core. “I’m not going anywheretonight.”

Tell me what you wish me to write. I just might write it.

#darcy lewis #steve rogers #darcy x steve #shieldshock #wish prompt #darcy lewis/steve rogers fanfiction