#it's like the universe is telling me this gifset is bad which i know but

[stupid-lemon-eater]

Okay, I can’t take it any more, I give in. Please explain Guardian to me. I’ve tried looking at the Wikipedia page but it provided no answers. All I can tell is that there are these two guys, and one is a police officer and the other a university professor but they’re both also magical immortals or something? And maybe one of them is the eponymous guardian of the other? If that’s the case, I totally can’t tell which is which. Please help, every day I see gifsets and each one leaves me more confused than the last. I thought The Untamed was bad, but this…

ehehehehe :D

so

we're gonna need a readmore for this lol

guardian was based on a bl book and was obviously censored - i'll provide an explanation of the show rather than the book, but pls know the most significant censoring (other than the obvious) was the change of everything from ghosts, demons, etc to aliens

you get this big animated infodump at the beginning with no warning and it's glorious

for backstory, there's three races on haixing - the haixingians (effectively humans), the yashou (alien race #1, can transform into plants or animals depending on type [main animals are snakes and crows, with one noticeable exception in my beloved catboy da qing]), and the dixingren (alien race #2, can have basically any powers that you want for plot related purposes, have to remain underground due to a treaty that was written 10,000 years ago)

zhao yunlan (the one with the facial hair) is the chief of the special investigations division (sid), which is kinda like torchwood but less and also more competent? depends on how you look at it. he's the titular guardian, because he's in charge of keeping haixing safe by catching the dixing criminals who come to the surface (in the book he also gets a cool whip which is called the guardian order - at one point he mentions that when he was given it he thought he was gonna be the first male sailor moon, bless him). smart and smartass. likes being one step ahead of you without you knowing. permanently exasperated with existence. in absolute love with shen wei.

shen wei (the one with the eyes, you know the one) is hei pao shi, or the black cloaked envoy - he's the dixingian envoy also tasked with ensuring all dixingren who unlawfully cross into haixing are punished back in dixing. university professor who teaches biology. worst liar in the entire world. wears sleeve garters and an ass chain to kill me personally. absolutely devoted to zhao yunlan.

they will send you absolutely insane and you will thank them for it. they're on levels of eye contact never before seen. together they Are the gaslight/gatekeep/girlboss mansplain/manipulate/malewife couple of your dreams/nightmares.

shen wei has been around for the aforementioned 10,000 years - zhao yunlan is his own special case ;)

there are 7 members of the sid and they will all send you various levels of feral

da qing - aforementioned beloved cat boy. zhao yunlan's cat but also brother but also father but also son. best dynamic. they ran out of budget to be able to have him transform into his cat form like 5 episodes in (their budget got majorly cut partway through), so instead it's just a guy in overalls acting like a cat. i lvoe him.

zhu hong - a snake yashou. my absolute wife. has amazing fashion.

lin jing - resident scientist. stresses himself out a lot. makes me laugh. still stumble over saying jin ling when referring to him

wang zheng - ghost lady! she's very sweet. her backstory is wack lol

sang zan - ghost lady's ghost husband. part of the wack backstory. sid's illiterate librarian <3

xiao guo - baby boy. baby. the babiest of boys you will ever see. precious little beanpole. genuinely the sweetest character you'll ever see in your life. levels of earnestness you wouldn't expect someone to pull off, but he absolutely does.

chu shuzhi - dixingren. has magical strings and a magical puppet. you can pinpoint the moment he falls in love with xiao guo down to the millisecond, and i screamed when i watched it.

throughout the plot they're tasked with collecting the four hallows, holy tools that have a lot of power, because the resident Big Bad (and their minions) want them to take over the world and so on and so forth (they're fun and dumb)

this show will tear your heart out and you will thank it, and then you will rewatch it while sobbing the whole way through because gahhh!

if you want to watch it, the show has unfortunately been taken off youtube, however you can watch it here or download it with subs here :D pls note that the theme song is an absolute banger and you will scream-sing along to it for most of the show

if anyone who reads this thinks i've missed anything important without spoilers, pls add it on!

tldr: "guardian is about making u insane in the best way" - mirf

#guardian #poorpoorpitifulme #this made my day

[bondsmagii]

Please give me the forbidden Goncharov discourse 👀

so for context, this comes from a post by tumblr user lastoneout that reads:

turns out tumblr does have reading comprehension and the ability to analyze a complex text through multiple frameworks and have a nuanced discussion while doing so but apparently we were all saving it up to have nuanced discussions about a fake movie with no actual text to analyze

and then my tags on the post, which read:

#this is so funny but i maintain it's the only unrealistic thing about goncharov (1973) #like you mean to tell me the fandom on tumblr is this huge and yet there's not one hate blog? #there's not a core group of haters posting the most deranged piss on the poor shit in the tag? #no discourse? no anon hate? #christ but there's not a single poc in it come on tumblr i've not seen a single person get called a racist for liking it #this is a glimpse into what peace on planet earth would look like #(ironically i do have some deep analysis for why this might be but i will spare op lmao)

now forgive me if this makes no sense, because this is the first time I have tried to articulate it before, and of course in keeping with the theme it's about a fake movie (cinematic masterpiece Goncharov, (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese).

with the obvious out of the way first: Goncharov is a fictional movie, it does not exist, and therefore there it nothing to say about the real-world issues associated with lack of representation. this means we can skip that in actuality, though if we're looking at it from the perspective of a real movie and how it would be regarded on Tumblr, I'm sure that there would be related discourse. however, this is not real, so we can focus on the more entertaining, light-hearted sides of fandom. and this is universally what Goncharov posts were like: gifsets, fanart, humorous and well-written textual analysis, deep and pretentious photosets and quotes, everything that you love to see. but it was odd, in terms of realism, that there were no haters at all. which made me wonder: why are there haters when it comes to real things, but not when it comes to fake ones? part of this is what's mentioned above: in real life, there are some dynamics and trends and issues that can and do have a very real impact on society, or represent aspects of society that should change. but I can't help think it was something else, too.

I mentioned in my tags hate blogs specifically, because in real fandoms, you can easily find hate blogs that have absolutely nothing to do with any real, tangible criticism. it is just vitriolic hate: of a character, of a book/film, of an actor or actress involved, or some combination of these. there's no actual criticism, and very often there are massive feats of mental gymnastics used to make fans of [character] or [thing] look bad. it is just seething hatred, all directed towards something that is supposed to be entertainment; it's supposed to be fun! so why do some people take something harmless and make their entire personalities about hating it -- as well as spending significant parts of their day talking shit, getting into arguments, and even sending anon hate and threats to fans? it's because there are some people out there who like to hate things. they don't seem to like having fun. anything fun that comes their way, they have to pick holes in it; they have to have something negative to say to it. deep down, they know this is a very sad way to live. they know there's a difference between being a casual hater who likes to bitch about things in private with friends, or make the occasional joke or rant online -- and running a literal blog dedicated to hating something. they know there's a difference and they don't want to admit that they're losers, so they dress it up as something noble. these days, it's usually activism. this also explains the mental gymnastics, the reaches, the "fans of [character] are -ist or -phobic" shit. they're applying a thin coat of legitimacy to the fact that they're irrationally angry about something completely pointess, and there are a lot of people out there who seem to think this is a good and beneficial way to spend their time.

even among fans, there are some who seem to be having a bad time. I have looked at certain posts or blogs before and wondered to myself if the person even actually likes it, or if at this point they're just hostage to nostalgia or the idea of it (either the potential or their fan version of the universe) and they can't just call it quits. these people are not the same as the previously described, as they don't make their whole lives about hating something, but they're clearly miserable and could do with moving on, and they do contribute to the kinds of critical and often aggressive posts missing from the Goncharov project. the absence of this, as well as the more unhinged hatred, does leave a pretty obvious gap in the believability of the film's existence, and this is... rather depressing, really.

the thing that allowed Goncharov to be a peaceful experience was because of the fact that it wasn't real, and everyone knew it. but this should be applied to all films and books: they are not real. while some criticisms are valid (such as the terrible writing that female characters are often subject to, or the lack of representation in popular cinema, etc) a lot of the hate comes from interpersonal beef about characters, and these people aren't real. it's a very strange thing to witness: that so many people are capable of understanding that Goncahrov and Katya etc aren't real, and therefore there's no point getting mad about them, but they cannot carry that over to any other fictional character. the film's unreality is part of the joke, woven into it from the foundations, and so no hater, no matter how deranged, could possibly take themselves seriously hating it. instead they have to resort to complaining about the joke itself, and how annoying it is, but the content remains completely hater-free. it's an absolutely fascinating glimpse at the complete breakdown of the line between reality and fiction on this website -- Goncharov came from within, and its construction and creation was there for all to see, whereas other media seems to spring to the consumer fully formed and therefore with some kind of mystery that awards it a certain flair of legitimacy. I don't mean to say that anyone thinks it's real, but certainly they seem to think it's more serious, and worth getting worked up over. but none of it is real, none of it is worth getting worked up over, but for some reason it seems that when a creation comes from one's peers, this mystery is removed and the complete pointlessness and inanity of getting into fights online over fictional characters and events is illuminated in all its glory.

#goncharov #anon #asks

[druidx]

Oh hey, an ask thing. Can you answer 3, 8, 11, 13, 18, 24, and 25? Also an extra question: what's your favorite thing about the Starbound and Elder Scrolls universes? Oh and what's a favorite lore tidbit from both universes?

Hiya 'Mous, and Happy New Year to you!

From these questions

3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?

No, I don't think so. Unless I find another open world/ sandbox game to get attached to... I find it quite difficult to write for properties where the story is already all laid out and there's no 'gaps' to exploit.

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

I don't know about 'not brave enough' - more like 'never gotten around to it', so perhaps this is the year. In The Ruby Falls, the Modern AU of TES: Oblivion, the Hero of Kvatch gets a massive slash on her back which scars and she hates. The fic would revolve around her going to some shindig, only the high-backed dress she planned has somehow been swapped for a low-back dress. There's panic, there's tears, there's a fix and all is well and the shindig continues, possibly with her acceptance of the scar.

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

I keep thinking it would be funny to isekai one OC into a different universe I already write for, ie Mio (fish alien) from Starbound into the TES universe.

I'd also like to try a proper songfic.

13. Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic? 

I need to get back to recording my podfics. I might also offer/ ask to podfic some others' works.

Sadly I'm not really good at visual arts - the most I can manage are moodboards. I have been tempted to do a stick-figure outline for a comic script I wrote, but I need to finish it first 😅

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method? 

I have tried posting multi-chapters as I go, and discovered that's a bad flow for me - I often want to go back and edit previous chapters, but I feel that's unfair to anyone who's already read it. So now I prefer making sure I'm happy with a work as a whole and then posting in one go. (Although, for The Ruby Falls, it's been suggested that I post on a schedule once the whole thing has been finished - apparently that's reader-preferred for works over 150k?)

24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who _______.”

"always has such dazzling description - it's almost like you're there!"

25. If you answered questions from this list last year, find your answers and compare your goals to your results. How’d you do?

Sadly I didn't do this game last year, but I did review my 2023 goals in My Year of Writing Review. I managed 2/6...

Bonus 1: what's your favorite thing about the Starbound and Elder Scrolls universes?

In TES, it's the scenery. All the (modernish) TES games are just so, so pretty 😊 My housemate likes to call Oblivion 'horse-riding simulator', because I do have a habit of just trotting around, exploring.

In Starbound, it's actually a game mechanic that I like best. If you build a house and put a deed down, it'll spawn in a tenant. If you build lots of houses, the tenants interact with each other, making little emotes. I just think it's really cute 😄 (and fun to write about).

Bonus 2: what's a favorite lore tidbit from both universes?

In TES, it's that the world is effectively one big lucid dream.

In Starbound, it's that the Glitch (robot people) were created as a simulation and were intended to progress through various stages of industrialization, but the creator left? died? and the Glitch got stuck in a pseudo-medieval state and have never progressed beyond that.

Thanks for the questions! I hope you enjoyed the answers 🧡

#meta writing #writing thoughts #fanfiction #answered ask #Anonymous #meta wandering words #long post

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

babe can I confess my hot take?? spiderman no way home is a bad bad movie and people only went crazy over it because it had all those cameos! The daredevil scene was sooo stupid and makes no sense outside “hey you know this guy from our other thing!!”

anyway to end on a better not now that I’ve said that lol. I’ve been meaning to tell you that your new Nathan Bateman fic is so scorching hot and perfect I can’t get enough. Oh how I want to slap then kiss that hot mean man!

I say this as someone who has not watched the MCU consistently since Endgame, like...A lot of the gifsets I see from movies do make me feel like the universe is starting to lean on putting memes into movies and going 'hey you know this guy from our other things' AND making fun of how silly comic books are. Like the MCU don't feel like...Comics anymore (to me), they feel like 'oh Doctor Otto Octavius? What a SiLly NaMe—' like yeah, we know. We all know. Having your main characters laugh at it doesn't...Help. And being self-referential is fine, but it shouldn't be the bulk of your movie?

Separately, I feel like the plot also spends SO so much time contradicting itself and it just draws out the runtime

I think if they'd made it, like, Dr. Strange does the spell the first time. Everyone forgets who Peter is. But something's gone wrong anyway if you have to do the multiverse shit, and now Peter has to spend the rest of the movie figuring shit out without his usual support team and wrangling villains with the other two Spidermen (which gets them more into the movie and not just the last hour) while trying to convince like Happy, Ned, MJ, and Aunt May that he has had a place in their lives. The only one he gets through to is Aunt May, and then the second he gets her back, he loses her to the Green Goblin. There. I've just tightened up your entire first act, which makes up the FIRST HOUR OF THE MOVIE

...Anyway

Thank you for reading this rant, AND for reading Three Years!! I'm so glad you're enjoying it 🥰🫶

#asks #replies #anon

[codenamesailordarillium]

Oh, both mentions are terrible. So bad they might as well have ignored her like they did Martha (justice for Martha). 13 telling Yaz (YAZ) that she likes her even better than her wife, 15 grouping River in with Adric (ADRIC) as ‘people we’ve lost’ rather than with Sarah Jane and Rose as ‘people we’ve loved’. On balance, 13´s mention might be very very slightly better? At least it highlights the nature of that relationship. 15 might as well have said ‘Professor River Song, archaeologist, Luna University’ for all the personalisation in that mention lol.

Oh trust me, I am very much in agreement about both, my friend.

I was gonna hold off until actually watching the sea devils ep, but honestly might as well say it here that errything I've seen so far of the 13&Yaz "romance" seems to have been heavily shoehorned into Flux & the rest of 13's specials. Specifically, mentioning "her wife" seems to me kind of a half-assed shorthand of trying to make it seem like 13 reciprocates whatever feelings Yaz suddenly has for her without actually putting in the work to actually show it. Basically it's like: ooh yeah, Doctor have wife, Doctor love wife, we mention wife for purpose of showing Doctor love this person too! Which, while obviously heavily colored by the embittered shipper goggles I wear, still objectively isn't the most impactful way to communicate romantic feelings. If anything, the impression I had when I first saw gifsets of the infamous "even my wife" line read more as 13 awkwardly trying to let Yaz down easy seems like it'll probably hold.

And I mainly say it seems shoved into Flux because my honest impression of 13 & Yaz's interactions in the prior two seasons to overall not be much materially different than those 13 has with Graham or Ryan. Other than the scene in the Mary Shelley ep where she's talking to the girl involved with Byron and mentions that her "special person" is kinda different, there's nothing there that would've explicitly made me think Yaz had feelings for the Doctor (tho I'm sure some would strongly argue for her screaming at the end of Spyfall p.1 when Dhavvan!Master yeets 13 out of the plane).

As for 15, yeah, unfortunately Ncuti's delivery of the way he says her name does come off rather detached and so I'm struggling a bit with it. I'll be honest, I don't love all the promo that seems to be hinting that 15 could potentially end up having something going on with Ruby. Don't have a ton of hope there, honestly kinda worried Rusty's probably gonna recycle his "Penny" concept of the companion that was originally supposed to come after Martha that 10 was supposed to fall head over heels for.

Honestly, it's been a bit of a frustrating time as a River & Doctor/River fan. I'm not out here looking to hate on Chib or I guess Rusty at this point for no reason, but the continued erasure of River's character is demoralizing as time goes on. Especially when sentiment in overall DW fandom in the past seemed to have been that we should just get over her because her story was "done". DW tends to be a veritable parade of previous characters making their glorious returns all the time, yet for some reason wanting River back in that capacity is unacceptable, even tho technically speaking that was the whole intent of her character originally, knowing the Doctor throughout all their past & future faces.

I think I'm just rambling at this point, but there are a lot of repressed feelings regarding all this that I haven't deigned to express in the past because I try my best not to dwell on fandom shit that I know will inevitably upset me. I guess I've hit something of a breaking point, so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to let off this particular steaming kettle anon.

#anonymous

[spencershastings]

Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you’ll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone. What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest. So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying ‘I could’ve, but it’s too late now.’ There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should s p e a k  n o w.

Happy TENTH anniversary, Speak Now! (October 25, 2010)

#tswiftedit #tswiftgif #candy swift #usernins #hermionegrangcr #userelena #taylor swift #ok this should work now #posting for the third time #it's like the universe is telling me this gifset is bad which i know but #let me love speak now in peace #mine #mine: gifs #mine: taylor swift #speak now era #speak now world tour

[blackstarising]

coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

#ted lasso #sam obisanya #ted lasso spoilers #fandom racism

[blush-and-books]

i’m sorry, but i fell in love tonight

short fic based off of this gifset by @juliesmolinas and the song is there somewhere by halsey. in fact it is mandatory that you listen to the song/read the lyrics/both before/during reading this. yes i said mandatory.

angst with a sappy ending, julie goes through a lifetime of emotions in less than 3k, was originally gonna write when i was in a more emotionally raw state but writing this made me emotionally raw so... enjoy <3

warnings: swearing

Julie made the promise at some point -- she just doesn’t know exactly when.

It may have been when he appeared at her school, all shy smiles and soft glances, professing that she made him a better writer. Or, more definitively, it could have been when she forlornly pulled him into her arms a moment before she was positive that she was to lose him forever. 

All that she knew was her time with Luke was fleeting. So she swore that her butterfly-wing crush was not allowed to fill her chest or dizzy her thoughts; that his lyrics would mean nothing more next to hers than words on a page and his touches would bring her little to no comfort.

Luke Patterson could not complete her. 

The universe wouldn’t allow it -- and neither would Julie Molina. 

But -- either Luke was blissfully unaware of their impending doom or he genuinely didn’t care -- he forced himself through every barrier she attempted to erect. And it was driving her nearly insane, because she made a promise to protect herself. 

Maybe she wasn’t strong enough to do it. Or maybe the universe, despite refusing to give Julie Luke in his entirety, did not want her to be protected. 

It was all in the little things-

When she stayed up with him in the garage, playing him all of the songs he’s missed in 25 years, and he danced around on the slippery floor in his socks and grinned at her with wide green eyes. The neon emerald in the dim light was reminiscent of driving on the highway and passing sign after sign leading to the exits she could have taken, but couldn’t bring herself to.

How New Years Eve arrived and the Molina family gathered in the driveway to light sparklers; Luke’s hand brushing hers as he passed off one of the two in his hands. 

In his head lulling onto her shoulder while she was trying to finish some homework with his help on the torn couch and his lips moving against her bare skin  as he mumbled that she needed to take a break before driving herself insane; followed by her braiding her hair to get it out of her face.

She already had driven herself insane -- but not over her homework. 

(His mouth on her shoulder was the answer to a prayer she never dared to murmur aloud.)

Luke never failed to be present when he was needed. If she was sick or stressed or depressed, he knew when to fuse to her side and when to offer some space. Through careful observation rather than conversation, he knew which of her many sweatshirts were reserved for illness or emotional support. 

In most of those situations, she needed him, too. Her fingernails would curl into his biceps through a cramp or wave of tears and he would wrap her in his embrace and swarm her with warm words that dried her eyes.

She hated it.

When they wrote music, it felt as though they were already reading each other's minds before either of them had spoken a word about their plans. Their journals contained inky black waterfalls spilled from an intimacy that Julie did not want to dissect. 

Again, she hated it. She loved it more than anything and hated that she loved it all -- because it could never be real. 

She would always play second fiddle to death. 

Julie made the promise to herself to not let Luke complete her because, while she had him for now, the night of the Orpheum was a reminder that the universe would not hesitate to snap it’s fingers and eliminate him from existence. 

The universe, being the confusing, stubborn bitch it is, just didn’t get the memo on that promise. 

Because Luke filled every crack and restored every gap in her being, and he shouldn’t.

The hopeless, pining romantic in her that constantly argued with her realist side said they were meant to meet. Even if it was brief and heartbreaking and had the power to hurt her in a way she didn’t understand, it had to happen. If it wasn’t supposed to happen, then how and why did he cross space and time only to fall at her feet?

(Soulmates, a taunting voice whispered. Soulmates.)

((The voice was locked in a closet as punishment.))

She didn’t want to entertain the word. It had too much of a forlorn, wistfully romantic sound to it that Julie didn’t need to associate with Luke when she spent most moments with him at this point convincing herself that she wasn’t in love.

Until tonight.

It is past midnight, which is when anyone’s mental state starts to alter. Things that would be labelled as bad ideas in the daylight could very possibly become fair game when shrouded in a darkness that made everything private. The two of them, Luke and Julie, Julie and Luke, are nestled together on the piano bench as her fingers tiredly press each cut of ivory in a working melody.

“I have an idea,” Luke says, gently shifting his left hand to cover hers on the keys. “Why don’t we press pause on this song for a minute?”

Then, she finally looks up at him. Her eyes probably have crescents like the dark side of the moon crossing her skin, and her hair is all over the place, but he’s staring at her in one of the rare ways that she hates.

She hates it because the look convinces her that she completes him.

This time, however, there’s a hope. A hope, and a hesitance, and she’s simultaneously extremely nervous and beyond curious as to what his plans are. 

“Did- Didn’t you want to finish this tonight?” 

Regret strikes across his face, but he recovers. The softness is back. “Yeah, I just think we need a change of pace.” Right hand on the back of his neck: A telltale sign of a confession of some kind. She’s seen it more times than is healthy. “There was another song I wanted to show you, actually.”

“Oh.” She blinks, he waits. “Yeah, uh, I mean, yeah. Show me. What do you have so far?” He clears his throat as he thrums through the pages to find his target. “The whole thing.”

Julie doesn’t have time to react -- although she’s already in a panic -- before the leather-bound book is being awkwardly shoved into her hands, and the first thing she sees at the top is Luke’s nearly illegible scribble of Dark Room (song for Julie).

“Luke-”

“Just read it.” His voice is significantly raspier than it was a minute ago. “Please.”

She can’t. If he feels the same way and the confession is undeniably in front of her, then what is she supposed to do? Would she rather break Luke’s heart now to save them both down the line, or delay the misery a little longer?

It’s not that she doesn’t want it -- she does. But she doesn’t know if she’s emotionally equipped for any of the options that are offered to her. The destination of any path she chooses leads to a world of heartache.

So, she does the only thing she can think in the moment: She reads the song.

Instantly, the lyrics are blurred from the tears in her eyes because she sees the words “love” and “together” and her greatest fears and grandest wishes are coming true. The sonnet proclaims that she’s his light that illuminated his once-dark forever, and that he was hers when they didn’t even know each other, and that he will be hers wherever he ends up next.

He just wanted her to know that he would have waited another lifetime in the blank, limitless limbo he was in for 25 years if he knew she would be there when he was set free.

And, in the moment, Julie allows herself to acknowledge that her promise is broken.

She’s fallen in love. 

And, apparently, he has too.

(Maybe they can claim just one night. The universe owes them that much, doesn’t it?)

“Julie?” God, he sounds so worried. A shaking finger trails up her jaw to catch falling tears, and his contact makes her gasp. He pulls away and shoves his hands together to fidget in his lap. “Julie, are you- Fuck, I’m sorry, I just fucked this up, didn’t I? I fucked it all up. Fuck, I-”

When she chances a look up at him for the first time in the couple of minutes that she’s been staring, hopelessly, at the song in her lap -- he’s got his face covered by his hands pressing roughly into his eyes, and he’s turned to face the piano instead of her.

He takes a deep breath, and it sounds… 

Stuffy. 

Three more tears leak from Julie’s eyes. More build up every minute as her right hand runs along his shoulder, “Luke…”

“No, Julie, please just drop it.”

“Luke.”

“I clearly misread a lot of stuff, and I’m tired, so maybe you can just go to bed and forget-”

Her hand wraps tightly around his upper arm like it’s done so many times when she has been in distress. “Luke.”

There’s a crack in her voice from sheer desperation. She needs him to look at her, so that she can wipe his tears and smile through the sobs and tell him he didn’t misread a single thing. She would wait a lifetime for him to come out of the dark room, she loves him too, and she’s going to forget all about it. 

And ask him to do the same.

At least the scratch of his name catches his attention long enough, because he angles back towards her, and swallows thickly before meeting her eyes. Salty teardrops linger against his eyelids and eyelashes; the red rimming illuminating the oceanic green to look like a gemstone. Her grip relaxes.

“Yeah, Julie?”

She attempts a smile. “The song is beautiful, Luke. I love it.”

I love you.

“That’s it? It’s beautiful, and you love it, but you don’t… I’m not in your dreambox, huh?”

He clearly hasn’t dug through it in awhile. He’s everywhere. Discarded guitar picks and notes he’s left in her school journals and plenty, plenty of songs.

It’s funny, because she told him her dreambox was for things that didn’t make her sad. Luke was a double-edged sword -- making her happy every day in a new way, and making her cry into her pillow at night.

How does she explain this? There’s a whirlwind of responses running through her brain and she can barely coherently comprehend any of them. 

“No,” she finds herself sighing as she raises her hand to his cheek, followed by her other hand so that he can’t try and turn away. “No, Luke, no… You’re wrong.”

“What do you mean ‘I’m wrong?’”

Her bottom lip starts to shake. “You think I don’t love you back.”  Both of them feel their breath catch at her use of the word out loud. It feels like a secret that shouldn’t be repeated. “And you’re wrong.”

“... I’m wrong.”

“Of course you’re wrong! You really think I don’t love you back?”

“Why are you crying if you love me?”

“Because we can’t do this!”

He scoffs, and Julie’s heart is racing in her chest as he pushes himself off of the piano bench and her hands fall from his face. What has she done?

“That’s bull, Julie.” His fingertips tug at his hair. “You don’t need to make a big dramatic show to convince me it’s wrong just to let me down easy. You aren’t going to talk me out of this.” Dead-on, he stops pacing back and forth, and looks her in the eye. “I love you.”

Listening to him say it, the way his mouth moves and his voice ticks with conviction at each syllable, is what makes her break. 

“And I love you too.” 

He reels back. He probably wasn’t expecting her voice to raise from their odd, in-between whisper and normal volume.

“But don’t you get it? Luke, we aren't in some magical place where we can meet each other in the middle. A place like that doesn’t exist. You’re dead, and I’m alive, and any future here ends with both of us losing each other.” 

“Julie-”

“You said you would wait another lifetime, right?” Using his own lyrics against him. She watches his hands twitch before nodding; the movements of his head barely visible. “Then wait. Another lifetime, another two -- the fucking universe clearly didn’t want us to have this one, so we’re stuck waiting for the next one.”

Even through his clear and fighting need to argue, to talk with her about this, he stiffly nods his head. It’s obvious that she has thought way too much about this from the way she’s barely choking out each word before crumbling into tears before his eyes -- but then again, he’s thought about it too. 

Callused hands are running along her neck to tilt her face up out of the blue. She was too busy crying to notice that he had crossed the distance between them to stand right in front of her and assure that she was meeting his eyes.

“Luke-”

“No, Julie, it’s my turn. Please.”

She won’t argue with him. So, with a tender swipe of his thumbs under her eyes, he proceeds.

“Look, I get it. You think I don’t get it? I fucking hate being dead, for so many reasons, Julie. But if I never died, I never would have met you.” Her lips part, and maybe he thinks she’s going to protest because he smoothly lifts a finger in front of her lips that barely makes contact. 

(Julie almost presses her lips into it.)

“And you’re right. I wish there was somewhere that we could meet in the middle, but we don’t have that. I wish so many things, Julie. But none of them involve a life where I don’t have you.”

She whimpers, because listening to the man that normally chains his emotions in a cage bare his soul to her at nearly one in the morning is a seriously more out-of-body experience than she expected. She knew, deep down, that she loved him. But she never allowed herself to feel the all-encompassing warmth that she feels now.

“But hey, Julie, look at me,” he coaxes her with a tone that drips with affection. The pads of his fingers are nearly kneading into the back of her neck. “Like you said: The universe didn’t want to give us this lifetime. They couldn’t let us have all the fun, right?” Both of them let out a watery chuckle. “But they still brought me to you, didn’t they? They let me know you in this lifetime, even if we couldn’t have forever. I said I would be yours wherever I am. So even if this,” he gestures to his ghostly form, “isn’t forever, even if we don’t have this lifetime… You know I’ll love you forever, right?”

It was a monologue straight from one of her dreams that left her waking up with a manic smile and tears running down her face. 

Unable to form any other response besides an unaware nod, Julie waits for him to continue.

“And maybe, the universe will give us the next lifetime, or a whole new universe, or… Just somewhere where we can get forever.” 

Abruptly, his hands slide from her neck and grasp her hands like he needs to hold on firmly enough to believe that she’s still real in front of him. Julie is still speechless and teary, and in the most sentimental gesture, Luke kisses the back of both of her hands. 

“We’ll get forever, Julie.” His warm breath puffs against her skin. “I promise you.”

And, well, if he promises forever in the next life -- then why can’t she take what she can get in this one?

--

tags: @bluefirewrites @willexx @unsaid-emily @lydias--stiles @moreflowersthanweeds @pink-flame 

#this will also be posted on ao3 lmao #jatp #julie and the phantoms #juke #jukebox #palina #juke fanfic #jatp fanfic

[purplemagpie]

i was tagged by @energievie to answer these fandom and random questions. 

when did you start watching shameless?

april 3rd this year. finished around may 18th. cannot remember what i was doing with my life before that.

how did you start getting involved in the gallavich fandom?

posted a few gifsets, wrote bad for business for gallavich week, and showed a normal amount of enthusiasm in the tags of pretty much everything i reblogged.

favourite shameless character? (other than ian & mickey of course)

before i watched the show i remember thinking “the fuck kinda name is lip?” the name of my favorite bastard man, apparently.

what plotline from the show irked you the most?

hmm, i’m tryna distinguish between irk and disappoint here. lip getting expelled is a huuuge sore spot for me, but i guess nothing beats gay jesus.

favourite line from the show?

“mickey,” (don’t think i need to clarify which one i mean). 

but also fiona telling monica “you were my mother too!” emmy rossum fucking me the fuck up

fanfic(s) you can’t stop thinking about:

oh no this one makes me really nervous because there’s no way i can list everything i love. i’m stopping at five so i don’t stress myself out.

elevator music by @iansfreckles

an exception to the rule and where i end & you begin by @gallawitchxx

@hornygaythug by WhatTheBodyGraspsNot 

like real people do by grayola

The best concert(s) you’ve been to:

can’t really afford concerts, since i’m forced to travel and rent a hotel room if i wanna go. wish i could attend the wonder years’ upcoming tour tho. two full albums? listening to all of suburbia live would absolutely destroy me.

comfort movie franchise:

the first four hp movies (sorry)

piercings/tattoos?:

four piercings, no tattoos yet. 

most rewatched tv show:

i’m not huge on doing a full rewatch, but i’ve actually watched downton abbey thrice (and i’m tempted to do another rewatch soon tbh). in the flesh might be up there too.

pet peeves:

reading inaccurate/questionable information on linguistics/phonetics/language learning on tumblr posts with, like, 40k notes (this sounds so pretentious alskjdalsk sorry)

random fact about yourself:

i am the most clueless/oblivious person in the universe. a friend once took off her shirt in front of me and asked me if i liked her bra, and i genuinely thought she just wanted my opinion on her underwear. my other friend wanted to strangle me, but i still don’t know how i was supposed to realize she was tryna do something there???

i’m tagging @arrowflier, @howlinchickhowl, @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @gallawitchxx, and @iansfreckles (or just saying hi hello hope you’re having a lovely day y’all)

#vicky talks #tag thingy

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXIII

It was a love story from the very beginning

Missing Each Other

(15x06/15x07/15x08)

Hello my friends! We are still walking over the last Destiel breakup. I'm gonna talk in this meta about how they miss each other even when they're mad at each other. Because they're two dumbasses in love.

Remember this is a summary from my season 15 metas. You can find all the links from these episodes here: X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X and X.

Come Back Home

Previous episode we saw a visual reference that linked Dean with a fish. Now in episode 15x06 we have Castiel trying to catch a (hard) fish and walking around a fishing ship, mentioning Dean to let us know, the symbolism about that sneaking fish. Castiel misses him.

Another important visual element in this episode was the lady reading a book that pictures the Destiel breakup we are witnessing and writers are making it one of the centric topics.

I'm talking about the Destiel color coded lady, with a hint of pink (happiness)...

...reading a novel titled: "Lovers Quarrel".

An now, let's talk about the awkward Destiel phonecall.

Let me tell you that Dean didn't have to ask to talk with Castiel when he was speaking with the sheriff, but he did it anyway. Why? Because he missed Castiel.

Even so, he won't recognize it. Because he is still mad, and Castiel is still mad, then why is Dean asking for him?

Because he needed to scold him about not answering Sam's messages. Because Sam is messaging him, but Dean is not.

And then...

Look at this:

DEAN: Would you put my agent on the phone, please?

He can't lose the opportunity to talk with Cas.

SHERIFF ROY [handing the phone to Cas]: He wants to talk to you.

CASTIEL: Hello?

He wasn't happy about it, at all. As a parallel with that phonecall in season 14, in which Castiel said it was good to hear Dean's voice, this time it isn't.

DEAN: Cas. Sam's been trying to call you.

CASTIEL: I know.

DEAN: Did you check his messages?

CASTIEL: Nope.

Dean is behaving very childish here, and Castiel isn't checking the Winchester's messages, because he really wanted to move on from them, from Dean.

DEAN: Right. Smart. Why would you? Look, I don't know if you care or not, but, uh... God... Chuck... is back on the board, so watch yourself. And check your damn messages.

After this, Dean suddenly cut the call, and Castiel looks very upset about that. But thing about these words Dean told him has a hidden message:

And then... "Chuck is back in the game." Is the same as if Dean wanted to say HEY CAS YOU LEFT BECAUSE CHUCK WAS GONE, WELL, HE IS BACK, SO... YOU HAVE TO COME BACK BECAUSE CHUCK IS BACK. NOT BECAUSE I'M MISSING YOU SO MUCH AND I'M SO DEPRESSED SINCE YOU LEFT, BUT BECAUSE CHUCK IS BACK.

That's so Dean, right?

A miscellaneous point I repeated so many times in all my metas from this season was, Castieo was related to people dressing green and pink and Dean with people dressing blue and pink: THIS IS BECAUSE THEY'RE EACH OTHER'S HAPPINESS.

Another symbolic reference, this time related to Dean's behavior, it's the following piece of dialogue between Dean and Sam at the beginning of the scene:

DEAN: You know they still put, um, jokes on the backs of these things. Listen to this one... What's round and bad-tempered? "A vicious circle." (...)

This is self referencing over here, my friends, because is talking about how Dean is stuck in his toxicity, and his way to "solve" his problems and repress his feelings m is a vicious circle that never ends, and he's playing in the same line, and lying to himself. The bad temper, is a reflection of Toxic Dean, and he's trapped in this vicious circle, and he needs to MOVE ON to make things changing.

And because we had people moving in this episode, it's another symbolic analogy to what Dean must do to grow up.

Bi!Dean episode and Dean's attempt to fix things with Castiel

Episode 15x07 was full of Bi!Dean subtext.

Dean is praised by a male sheriff, and we had a waitress flirting with him. And Dean rejecting her all the time. Why? Because he behaves as a married guy, married with Castiel, if you know what I mean.

We had the whole bi flag lighting when Dean was singing on the stage, and this whole sexual tension with his old friend, Castiel's mirror.

Jumping from Bi!Dean to the Destiel breakup, we had this symbolic dialogue:

When Dean found the girl at the bar, he interrogates her, but Lee, his friend, called him, and the words he says: "She went without saying goodbye?" "Well, maybe she deserved it."

This was related to episode 15x03 when Castiel walked away from Dean. It felt as if he didn't say goodbye to Dean, 'but maybe Dean deserved it.'

Keeping the drama here, we had Castiel calling Dean the whole episode and Dean not answering the phone.

Castiel came back to the bunker because he had a plan, but when things doesn't work well, he calls Dean... A lot of times. But Dean didn't answer... Just like a cheating husband. Cas lost his temper and he even shouts WHERE ARE YOU!? At the phone.

Avoiding the whole Swayze's Bar and Rocky's Bar parallels you can find in my meta link on the top of this analysis, let's just go to the 'Lovers Quarrel scene and enjoy the failed attempt from Dean to fix things with Cas... à la Dean.

Gift credit @agusvedder

When Dean appeared at the bunker, Castiel's face is about surprise, relief, and a hint of heart eyes, Dean is acting as if nothing had happened between them, just like I expected to occur, because is his way to avoid things. But this time it won't work, because CAS recalls immediately Dean's hard words and the last call, and he recalls that THEY DIDN'T PART FRIENDS (this quote from episode 7x17 when they came back to see each other after the break up in season 6).

That's why I said Dean is trying to fix things à la Dean here, just acting as if nothing happened. It's the coward way to try to approach the love of your life.

Awkward, horrible and wonderful, Awkward silence. The romantic tension here! Even my dog saw it. This was deliberately written and performing to show what it is: ROMANTIC TENSION.

This was gold... because Dean's face is yelling: Uh, oh, wait, don't go, we still can chat a little... oh wait, right. Things are still bad... got it.

So, Cas changed his face, and he just threw a few words, and leaves, quickly. Dean senses this, and he just grimaced, okay... What did you expect, Dean? Things are not good. You need to use your words!

Imagine their hearts running fast, dry mouth, knowing they love each other so much and they missed each other so much. They're finally in the same room, but things are not good. Castiel is very hurt and Dean can't spell the magic words.

And now, it his wasn't enough Destiel pining for you... we had this last scene:

Gifset credit @agusvedder

Dean stares at Castiel, and Castiel feels that look, but he didn't look back at Dean. This is because Castiel is trying to show Dean how much he hurted him. The Destiel eye-fuck/eye-love making has been always their way of intimate communication. Well. Castiel cut it off here. Just like Dean did with that phonecall.

Time to Fix things. Time for Purgatory 2.0

The whole episode 15x08 showed how broken were Destiel. Dean and Castiel were shown in divided, separated, in all the frames.

We also had this...

Gif credit @agusvedder

Castiel didn't touch Dean to heal him FOR THE FIRST TIME. This scene was very meaningful to show things are not good.

We also had the scene with Rowena, in which they were sitting far away from each other, another empty seat in the middle, and Rowena noticing this, and obviously, giving that married couple a good speech. Almost yelling at them to fix their mess.

So, if Dean and Castiel had to fix their relationship, what better than go to Purgatory again. The place where Dean realized he was in love with Castiel. Because it was pure, and his feelings and thoughts alined into one spot: THE LOVE HE FEELS FOR THAT ANGEL.

After this scene, Dean and Castiel spoke with Michael, and did you know what Michael says in one of his lines?:

ADAM: What about 'I'm sorry'?

LEGENDARY MY FRIENDS! The whole Universe was yelling at Dean to use his words and ask for forgiveness to his angel, to fix things with him. That's why karma sent them back to Purgatory.

Miscellaneous: two things I want to point about Saileen: they were mirroring Destiel the whole time, even the goodbye scene and even Dean calling Eileen as the hot woman perfect for Sam, that understands him, it was a reference to Castiel, the perfect man for Dean, that understands him and is pretty hot.

Second is the fact that Castiel cockblocked Sam and Eileen. Again, karma. 🤣

To Conclude:

The 'Lovers Quarrel' was shown in the show as one of the centric topics. GA could see and be aware of the ROMANTIC TENSION between these two.

But don't worry, the breakup is coming to it's end in the next episode. One of the most beautiful Destiel scenes, and is happening in Purgatory of love 2.0.

I hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2002 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 15, here you have the links:

Vol. CXXI, CXXII.

Buenos Aires, July 25th 2021 12:47 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 15 #15x06 #15x07 #15x08 #destiel breakup

[softcannoli]

you are the person who got me to watch the untamed and now I am BEGGING you to tell me what guardian is and where I can watch it.. is there time travel because sometimes I see two gifsets that do not seem like they're from the same show

ooohhhhhhhhohohohohohohohoohohhooo ohhhhhhh boy where do i even start

so uhhhhh Guardian is an on-fire trashcan of a show and also the only thing I've been able to think about for like a month. It's based on the novel of the same name by Priest, which I have not yet read but have heard is very good.

I say "based on" bc I have been given to understand that it is a VERY loose adaptation, bc the novel is pretty much entirely about That Gay Shit™, the undead, reincarnation, and literal gods, all of which IIRC are big no-nos under censorship laws. So the show had to get a little creative, and so now it's about aliens? and time travel? sort of? It's weird, but that's okay, because the show is far more interested in the homoerotic subtext, of which there is OODLES.

So basically our two main characters are:

Zhao Yunlan, who is a regular human dude who is in charge of Special Investigations Department, or SID, which is essentially the department of Supernatural Monster Cops, who are responsible for making sure superpowered underground alien people don't come up to the surface and run roughshod over regular humans, and

Shen Wei, a mild-mannered university professor who is Actually Ten Thousand Years Old, and is also secretly a superpowered underground alien person. He knew a dude 10,000 years ago who looks exactly like Zhao Yunlan for unknown (timey-wimey) reasons, and was very obviously in love with him, so when he meets Zhao Yunlan he is IMMEDIATELY lost in the yearning.

There's also a bunch of other people who work under Zhao Yunlan in the SID, and they are all absolutely delightful and have a whole found-family sort of dynamic going on.

Is this a good show? I think if I'm being totally honest I would have to say no? But is terrible in a bunch of truly delightful ways. The CGI is literally shit-tier. Some of the props could not more obviously be made out of craft foam and paper-mache. The quality of the dubbing work is really uneven, and by the last 15 episodes or so they seem to completely give up and some of the lines are dubbed over by someone who is CLEARLY not the same voice are the person speaking. A lot of the writing choices make NO sense, and the plot starts to go completely off the rails somewhere just past the halfway point. (there's also some stuff that is bad in like, a bad way, but I'll talk about that a bit at the end of the post)

The thing about this show is that it's gay. Like GAY gay. Like The Untamed was pretty gay, but I could conceivably see someone cover their ears and shut their eyes to all the gay subtext in that show and convince themselves there's a heterosexual explanation for everything. Not so with Guardian. Like, I really, legitimately cannot fathom even the most willfully ignorant person not picking up on the vibes between Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei. I simply cannot picture it. There is, in fact, NO heterosexual explanation for them.

The show throws in the most flimsy, half-hearted nods to the idea that Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei are just Good Platonic Buddies, and then in the next scene will just drop in a 5-10 minute sequence of Shen Wei taking a sick Zhao Yunlan home, tucking him into bed, staring at his sleeping face with a face full of tenderness and longing, and then cleaning his apartment and folding his laundry for him. It's fucking unreal.

The show was very clearly trying to push the limits of subtext to see exactly how much they could get away with, and as far as I can tell the answer they got was "not that much", bc I've heard some suggestion that the show was pulled shortly after broadcast for another round of edits.

So it's on Viki, but if you don't want to pay for a streaming service and don't mind sliiiightly sketchier subs, it's also on Youtube! It might be some other places too, but those are the ones I know about.

I'm going to stop now bc this post could seriously be like 5 times longer but please watch Guardian and join me in my daily cries about Shen Wei (Zhao Yunlan can come too I guess, but it's mostly about Shen Wei, bc of the inherent eroticism of loyalty and life debts)

Lastly, bc I would be remiss not to mention it, here's some warnings about the worst things I can remember off the top of my head. I personally still think the show was well worth watching, but there's a few things I sort of wish I had known going into it, beyond the vague warning "the ending sucks". It's gonna be spoilers, so read at your own risk.

There's some talk about suicide in the first arc which isn't really that bad in the grand scheme of things, but can come across as dismissive and/or insensitive. There's an arc somewhere in the mid-20s that leans on some really ableist "split-personality" tropes. I will fully admit that the only thing that kept me watching at that point was the knowledge that this would be over in an episode or two, and the fact that the youtube subtitles translated comments about other character's behavior as "cringe", which I found an extremely funny translation choice.

And lastly, the finale. The finale is bad in a number of ways, but the biggest and easiest to explain is that the show goes full Bury Your Gays and kills off both Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. ( and then another entity takes control of Zhao Yunlan's body?? so the general public doesn't actually know he's dead?? which I found pretty uncomfortable) But like basically my view of the ending is that if something bad happened, No It Didn't. Which seems to be the general opinion, since apparently Priest went back and wrote an extra epilogue chapter to fix the drama's ending.

#guardian #zhen hun #镇魂 #i could talk about this show for hours #actually no i couldn't bc after like 2 minutes it would dissolve into inhoherent wailing #i'm literally obsessed with shen wei #idk how he is in the book like if he's different or anything #but drama!shen wei has an anxious energy to him the i find highly interesting and relatable as someone who was raised catholic #like i can say with complete confidence that shen wei is not and never has been catholic but he 100% has catholic guilt #i love him #literally i can't go longer than 6 hours without thinking about hi #m #i also love zhao yunlan but i think it's very funny that i mostly didn't care THAT much about him except bc shen wei loved him #until the show was like 'oh by the way he has daddy issues' at which point i was instantly like 'ohhh??? 👀👀👀👀' #what can i say? i like my men fucked up and emotionally dysfunctional #ask #jesperr-fahey

[number5theboy]

Hello :3 Thank u for working so hard on your gifsets, please take your time producing your quality content 🥺 I don't really have a Tua related ask to send in askskskd but I'm down to read abt Five at all times so there's that. So here goes: Your thoughts on Five and Reginald and the nature of their relationship? Thank you <3

Aaahhhh thank you, you are so sweet!! And I’m actually working on a deeper dive into the relationship between Reginald and Five, especially looking at the bar scene, because it fascinates me, but I keep getting distracted, but it’s coming, I promise.

In the meanwhile, a more general overview. The thing about Five and Reginald is that Five has a fundamentally different relationship to his father from his siblings. His siblings can all safely and squarely point at Reginald as a) being the worst thing that has ever happened to them and b) the one responsible for ruining their individual lives. For Five however a) he has the apocalypse which is just clearly worse than the academy life (I’m not trying to say that the academy life didn’t scar the other siblings for life or comparing trauma, I’m just saying that however bad the academy was, at least they had food and alive human company) and he himself qualifies the Handler as being worse than Reginald (not to speak of the fact that his childhood lies back forty-five years, those are distant, distant memories, distorted by decades of monotonous apocalypse life and some very busy working years), and b) Reginald is demonstrably not responsible for ruining Five’s life - Five is, and he knows it. It’s the ‘I told you so’-theme. I’ve seen people blame Five ending up in the apocalypse squarely on Reginald, and while there is something to be said about upbringing and how Reginald dealt with Five’s more rebellious personality, in that moment, the agency is all with Five, Reginald didn’t really do anything wrong. He told Five that he shouldn’t try to time travel and told him exactly why (impossible to foresee the effects it could have on his body and his mind), and Five disregarded that and did it anyway.

So essentially, Reginald is not the villain figure to Five that he is to all of his brothers and sisters. Five does what none of his siblings do: he underestimates Reginald, underestimates his cruelty and ruthlessness, and does so massively. It is a very nice and deliberate touch of having the sibling that spent the least time with Reginald be the one who turned out most like him, while at the same time having Five be the sibling that managed to move past Reginald the most. I’m not saying he’s unaffected by Reginald - he clearly isn’t - and he definitely suffered the same abuse as a kid, but he is the one for whom it is the least defining. It is both explicitly said in the show (S1E6 “Who cares if dad messed us up? Are we gonna let that define us?”) and metaphorically, in the fact that Five is the only Hargreeves who is not technically a Hargreeves. I know we keep tagging him as ‘Five Hargreeves’ for organisational reasons here, but that’s not actually his name. Five is ‘Number Five’, he is never referred to with Hargreeves as his last name, like his siblings are. He has made a name of his own, quite literally, by taking the number assigned to his existence as an experiment and becoming more than that, a legend in something that is completely apart from what his father intended. Five is very detached from Reginald as an actual being. It has been so long for him, so much has happened in-between, that he approaches him with a certain kind of distance, as a potentially very valuable source of information, having discarded (or maybe the memory has just faded), the things Reginald did to him, to his siblings. He underestimates Reginald, and he underestimates the severity of the effect his abuse had on his comparatively much younger siblings, which is, in the end, why they end up in a 2019 where cold, hard Reginald has rejected even the idea of their existence.

As for Reginald’s view of Five, it’s a bit more difficult to interpret because we just see less of him, and know less about his personality and even less about his true intentions. We see little of their relationship in Season 1, and I think Five did comparatively fine under Reginald from what we see. He is naturally curious and willing to push his powers to test his limits, but also the one most ready to openly talk back to Reginald, which seems to faze Reginald little, indicating that it was a regular occurrence. During the fateful breakfast, Reginald doesn’t even bother looking at Five arguing for his right to time travel, until the moment that Five runs out and openly, directly defies him, and it would be the very first and very last defiance. This tells us very little, which is why I find Reginald’s reaction to the Five we know even though he doesn’t know him in Season 2 so very, very fascinating, incidentally the same thing Reginald finds Five. There is a universe in difference between Reginald not sparing Five a glance at the breakfast table and them having a discussion on even terrain in the tiki bar. I’m not going to delve too deep into the scene because that’s for the post I’m working on, but I think, for the first time in the show, Reginald looks at Five and sees someone to take seriously. I’ve seen people suggest that Reginald was playing Five during that scene, that it was all an act, but I personally think that that interpretation makes that scene so much less interesting from a character perspective. Reginald entertains Five’s ideas, he takes him in earnest, and he seems genuinely sorry that he can’t help out. I don’t believe Reginald walked out of that bar with a bad opinion of Five. For a moment there, we see a glimpse of how Reginald acts with someone he gives at least basic human decency, and maybe even something that approaches respect, to. It doesn’t break Five’s illusion that Reginald isn’t the worst thing in the world, a sense of false security that makes the plot twist at the end of the season probably most shocking to him, because I think he never would have thought of Reginald just replacing them.

There is a very intriguing dynamic between Five and Reginald, one that lives less in extremes than it does for the other siblings. I think the point of this entire ramble is that Five and Reginald don’t dislike each other, and it makes for a very fascinating relationship where everything is open for the future, where this dynamic can develop further in narratively interesting and relevant ways. Five has enough distance from his abusive childhood (which, again, is not me saying that he has no repercussions from that, just that he has suffered different trauma and abuse on top of that and, let’s be real here, never had the opportunity to work through any of it) that he can approach Reginald different than his siblings, who are still very much and more acutely hurting, and this different approach allows him to get through to Reginald on a more personal, honest level than we have seen a sibling do before.

#Anonymous #Replies #me: i'm not gonna ramble and be short in this reply #me an hour later: whoops #I can't help it this is one of the very few dynamics that season 2 made more interesting

[jlf23tumble]

Hey Jen. I think you’re superb like in a (not to quote anyone but) you can sit and kind of admire what you’re like kind of way. So thanks for being awesome and enjoyable to this internet stranger. In unrelated matter, do you have any angst filled fics? I mostly read HL but I’ll dive into whatever as long as the pain is there. (If I can give a preference, I’m not so much into magic, fantasy, wolves, and sorts.) In these unprecedented times, I think I’d still need a happy ending though after the characters suffer terribly lol. If you find time to put something together for little old moi, I’d appreciate it very much. Thanks! Keep on keeping on! You’re wonderful!

<bryan_cranston_me_question_mark.gif> !!!!!!!!!! This is so incredibly kind, I think you’re pretty wonderful, too! I feel like I’m probably going to let you down here, though, because I generally don’t go too hard for angst (for one, it usually translates into longer fics, for two, some areas of true angst are just things I don’t really want to read for pleasure, like messy cheating aftermaths, abuse, character death, etc., and for three, I get lost in the sauce if I try too hard to dissect if something actually IS major angst versus, say, intense pining), but I’ll do my best! I’m going to give my dirty dozen here--my top 12 for hl--then I’ll dive deeper under the cut, with authors I love who write so much angst it’s tough to pick just one, plus other fandoms, too, in case you want to dive deeper.

Fertile Ground, Blake, 4.4k. Okay, in truth, so much of what Blake writes has gorgeous lashings of angst, so definitely read all of their fic (every fandom), but this one?? HOLY MOLY, it deserves to be separated and celebrated, Harry’s angst about fertility, howwwwww is this 4.4k, I ask, constantly?

sensitive to pressure, momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 4.4k. Hockey players and pubes and scent kinks, and yet there’s still this current of angst that thrums underneath, man oh man, would I read everything in this universe.

Everything You Do, jishler/ @jishlerfics, 6.6k. The third part of a stunning series, this one focusing on Harry’s gender identity and the Dunkirk haircut, and if you saw those recent gifsets with him wearing the beanie during training, yeah, this fic is alllll about it

i’m a captain on a jealous sea, devilinmybrain/ @thedevilinmybrain, 15k. A lot of jealousy on Louis’s part about all things Gryles, both real and imagined, I’m loving the vibes this author brings to it all.

taking tips and getting stoned, alison, 24k. I don’t think I can sum this one up quickly, but taxi driver Louis comes across singer Harry, and a lot of things change after that? God, that’s bad, but this fic is not!

hard to confess, @hereforlou, 24k. I adore Maggie’s writing so much, and she’s another one where I could rec at least three more here, but the one where Harry hides that he’s pregnant until the very last second? It’ll forever be the scorpio of mpreg fics, and I say that with the highest praise.

Maybe I Miss You series, 13ways, 28k. THIS SERIES, ooooooooffffff, the angstometer is off the chart, and then the last installment? Harry in makeup? This after all the sexting and boxing and hate sex and finally they figure their shit out? All of it is so good, and I’m eternally sad the author moved on (but jesus, I get it).

hush., Wankerville, 41k. Easily in my top five fics of any fandom, the softness and the cruelty, the growth and the real-life feels, an American high school AU that is still stunning and must have blown doors off back in that particular day (I’d also rec this author’s other work, esp. for angst).

every universe but ours, 28finelines, 49k. Okay, so this one has a little bit of magic that might annoy you, but it’s mostly in a multiverse way, like you’re reading a ton of AUs, but the theme itself has an angsty core, fwiw!

Truly, Madly, Deeply (10 Things I Hate about You), sunsetmog, 54k. I know I talk a LOT about this author’s ongoing wip, Harry Styles Cooks... (which is phenomenal, please do yourself a favor if you haven’t already), but this one? Angst ahoy, Harry auditions for XFUK without telling his boyfriend/friends, becomes a success, then comes home.

Time Passed, coffinofachimera/ @belialsmiracles, 66k. For every fic rec list I make, I always have at least one fic where I say, if you read nothing else, read this one, AND THIS IS IT, all categories, it’s simply astounding, life-changing, world-ending, and it kills me that more people haven’t left comments, but if it keeps shitty comments away, I’m all for it, I’ll protect this author/fic with my life. I can’t even begin to describe it, but if you want to know what the songs Fine Line or She are about, here you go! AIMH, Tokyo Harry!

The World Turned Upside Down, dogslpdi/ @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram, 71k. I’m really iffy on historical fics, but this fic! This fic nails it! The detail and the emotion, the way you can feel the effects of the strike in so many ways, but also how HIV/AIDS is not that far off on the horizon, it’s just so well done. Plus, I adore Ralph’s humor and the way she tagged this both “minor angst” and “miner angst,” and if I can’t end an angst rec on a light note, what more can I do?

Let’s start with things beyond hl...lately, I’ve been reading a LOT of Untamed fic, and I feel like I should just point you to Liv’s masterlists because they are angst city (and fun city, too), plus she’s done a really good job of labeling them accordingly (right now, my fave angst is from chunk no. 2, Fire in the Blood, which is a case fic, but oof, I can’t wait to read even more in these parts).

I’m also just now getting into Merlin and reading a lot in that fandom, but it’s a bit scattershot at this stage (I haven’t finished the show yet, and I’m still working my way through one author who wrote 100+ fics, all of which are incredible; if you’re curious for something recent from over there, Phoenix wrote a short, angsty one that’s good and ouchy, this tangled thicket).

Speaking of Phoenix, EVERYTHING she has written for Cars (Lightning/Doc) is incredibly angsty, usually with that happy ending finale--I’d rec my current fave, but it’s a wip, so no happy ending yet, wahhh. Check out this link to the rest of them, though, I rec ‘em all!

I still have to watch the source material, but everything anyone’s sent me from Cobra Kai is INCREDIBLY angsty and so, so good, so I’m gonna bet there’s a fair bit of fix-it fic in my future, but we shall see! 

Now onto the hl angst, ideally things you haven’t already read a million times before. Like I said earlier, this one’s kind of tough because I’m not into intense angst (major character/close family member death, messy cheating aftermath--though @kingsofeverything’s Devil and the Deep Blue Sea is fantastic, if you’re into that [messy cheating aftermath, not death]; actually, a lot of Lauren’s longer fics have a dose of angst, so dive away!)

Speaking of authors who regularly deliver angst, I have quite a few that I would say just go check out their works because almost every single thing they’ve done has it in varying degrees, you won’t be disappointed! These authors primarily write the hl pairing, and I definitely rec ‘em all: HappyPrincess, got2ghost, mediaville, and sedfierisentio. Authors I love who write Harry/other characters and do it in a hella angsty way include vondrostes, sulkingroom, radiodurans, and wishforwishes (I swear, I still think about call me anything you like at least once a month).

#fic rec #one direction #angst #for someone who hates it i sure have a lot of it

[bonesliketambourines]

top five of ‘20

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

thank you @xanthippe74 for the tag!

well! it’s been quite a year, hasn’t it? 

i hadn’t written fanfic at all since like 2012 prior to this year, and that was in a completely different fandom; when drarry grabs you, it grabs hard, eh? i wrote 51 fics this year and there’s still time for more 😬

picking my top five is hard! i already went a little too into my feelings about what are probably my automatic first choices here and here, so i’m going to exclude those from this list!

i always make the ‘i love all my children equally’ joke from arrested development about my fic, but for the most part i’m really telling the truth—i know not all my fics are incredible or excellent, but i put time and effort into all of them, and even the not as good ones are part of my journey as a writer, because i really feel i’ve improved by leaps and bounds this year. i’ve certainly gotten better at producing a quality fic at the eleventh hour, haha.

honestly though, there absolutely are some fics that are a little closer to my heart (besides the two mentioned in the links above), so i’m going to attempt to narrow that down into five!

in no particular order:

the best kind of bad: this was an expansion of a discord drabble, and is my first attempt at writing first-person, ever! it also was a bit of a tone shift from my previous efforts up to this point—a little darker, a little ambiguous, less focus on humor and snappy banter and more on making the atmosphere match the vibes i was going for. this was my first more ‘open ending’ fic that doesn’t answer all the questions it put forth, and i definitely have taken that and run with it in the intervening months!

push and pull you down: so i think by now everyone in the drarry fandom knows about this gifset, right? of course when a fest all about inspiration from gifs and images came out i had to use this one! i’ve always loved the idea of a totally unredeemed draco who isn’t trying to be nice and conform to post-war life, a draco who still uses his money and his name to get his way no matter what. and what better exemplifies that than drug-peddling and sex on potions? i also have a lot of thoughts about harry as an auror—i love writing him as confident and competent, of course, but equally do i enjoy writing him questioning himself and wondering if maybe this path isn’t for him after all. also, smoking is sexy and that’s that on that.

in knots: so, full disclosure; i didn’t like this one at all when i first wrote and posted it. it was kinktober and here i was writing a sad, strange little fic about PTSD and living up to our legacies and how our images of ourselves are based so much on our parents, and the adults in our lives, and the things we were told as children. what the fuck is that doing in the middle of all the relatively hot smut i wrote? but, up it went, and when i re-read it the next day, i completely changed my tune. it’s rough, sure—all of my kinktober things are as they’re not edited at all, but this one has probably more feelings per capita than almost anything else i’ve written, and it got right to the heart of a lot of the character motivations that i have in my head when i write these two, but don’t always articulate.

in His name: ahhhhh man. okay. so this one really, really got away from me as you can tell by the word count. i didn’t edit or revise any of my kinktober fics before posting them, but this one i spent a lot of time researching first, and i’m thrilled with how it came out. as someone who grew up watching buffy and had a long-time love affair with supernatural, writing something with sexy demonic possession has always been on my wish list, but it’s not exactly a common thing to work into the harry potter universe! i got to sprinkle this fic with all of my favorite tropes and i think i managed to maintain the intensity of the fic throughout the whole thing, even though it’s so dang long haha.

in charge: so anybody who’s read my writing knows that i have a pretty particular style of draco and harry that i write. even if i adjust their personalities, there are some core tenets that remain. i went a totally different route for them with this one, and i love how it turned out. forcing myself to step back and throw away everything i’m used to for characterization was so, so fun, and this dynamic and vibe is just so tasty that i may have to come back to it!

and yes, three of the five of these are from kinktober. i found that having to come up with new ideas every single day really stretched my writer muscles and forced me to go outside my comfort zone in so many ways; it was a challenge to not just write the same exact scenario with a cut-and-paste kink for the smut, but at the risk of sounding self-aggrandizing, i really think i achieved that, and i’m quite proud of everything i wrote that month. it made me a better writer and i highly recommend that everyone participate in something like this if they’re able!

and hey would you look at that—you’ll get the chance! i’m going to take this opportunity to link to @hpkinkuary, which will be a list of 28 kink prompts i’ll be posting in mid-january and hosting throughout the month of february! there will be an ao3 collection and some very pretty graphics that i’ve yet to make, and there are no rules or participation requirements, so if you feel like you might want to give it a shot go ahead and give that account a follow!

i’m tagging @tackytigerfic, @dracoladon, @shealwaysreads, @maesterchill, @p1013, @quicksilvermaid, @pineau-noir, @peachpety, and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it; make sure you tag me in it so i can see your replies!!

#tag game #my fic #drarry #drarry discord #drarry squad

[cinematicnomad]

Hey there, i‘m really interested in your opinion on where this Bucktaylor storyline will go. I’ve seen you say that you think that they will break up eventually, and i‘m right there with you, but i‘m also a delusional Buddie clown so i don’t think my personal assessment is really worth anything 😂 you seem like a much more level headed person, which is why i would love to hear what you think about this.

anonymous asked: Where do you think the Bucktaylor storyline is going? I like them a lot better than EddieAna, and used to think that they might be endgame (although i wouldn’t have been too happy about that) but the way they handled them in the finale not only disappointed me, it also kind of left the impression that they are definitely not going to last. I think if they seriously wanted this to go somewhere, they would have waited a while and developed them a bit more until they brought them together (yk, like a proper slowburn) If they are endgame there’s no rush, right ?

i'm not sure if you're the same anon or not, but i figured i'd answer both at the same time!

i have no idea where bucktaylor is going! i'm not stressed about it. for one thing, despite my enjoyment of buddie and despite how much i like to clown and read meta and make parallel gifsets about them, i?? have no real expectations that they'll become canon. so the bucktaylor of it all doesn't stress me out. i like taylor. i liked her when they introduced her in s2 and i liked when they brought her back in s4.

and i don't? actually think that their relationship was rushed in s4. i know i've seen some other people say that and like, to each their own, but i much more appreciate the way that taylor was brought back into the storyline, how she and buck clearly spent time together and started to build that rapport back up, that the show made it clear that buck was interested in more, and then they got together. like that's WAY BETTER than just having eddie run into ana on the side of the street and then the show just being like "lol they're together now, we don't need to show any development, here have a cringey math date and a 10 second scene of them cuddling on the couch with chris."

and honestly, other than madney, 9-1-1 isn't GREAT at developing romantic relationships. they kind of did it with buckabby in s1 but like...the less said about s1 the better. but otherwise, bobby/athena? spent an entire season having v little interaction with each other and then by the end they were like 'oh let's go on a date' and in s2 it was just full throttle they are COMMITTED. michael and david got trapped on an elevator together, went on a date in the finale, and then in s4? LIVING TOGETHER. buckalli was v reminiscent of eddieana which i already covered. so like, bucktaylor? actually having scenes over several episodes where they build up their friendship before kissing? Not The Worst. in fact, Actively Kind Of Good in my opinion.

like, was it perfect? no. i wish they'd payed that scene outside the grant-nash house a little differently—i know the actress who played taylor tried to take a cop out on twitter and was like "if you rewatch this you can tell taylor ~*doesn't really*~ mean it" but like...nah, fuck that noise, it did not come across. i don't know if that's bc the writers retconned their decision, bc the director didn't give the right notes, bc the editors chose a bad take, or bc the actress herself didn't get it right but that didn't work (though i was, like, genuinely amused at how many people on this site were like "HA! BUCKTAYLOR IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!" bc?? have you SEEN a television show before, sir, that's not how this works). and the decision to get them together in the finale kind of sucked bc like, that episodes was OVERSTUFFED already and we didn't really need the bucktaylor of it all. honestly i wouldn't have hated if we'd had the first kiss and then left things more open and come back in s5 to find out they were dating (i mean i would have PREFERRED if they explicitly decided to stay friends in the second scene instead of getting together but that's neither here nor there).

anyway, i don't think they're endgame just bc i don't think the writers are really ready to tie up buck in a serious final romantic relationship. plus i think buck and taylor are a little too similar to tell a variety of stories about them (they kind of seemed to already hit a rut in s4 with just a lot of repetitive "let's solve this episodes mystery together"). and also bc when buck does enter into an endgame relationship i imagine it'll be with a first responder (ideally obviously eddie, but i wouldn't be surprised if they introduced someone new). i don't think the 9-1-1 universe likes slow burns. i mean, maybe i'm a fool and they really ARE playing the long con and actually do want to get buddie together, but i think given what we've seen in OG and LS, the writers just. aren't interested in telling stories about people falling in love (i know everyone loves t*rlos but omg that relationship development was like...NIL). they're much more interested in stories of committed partners IN a relationship (henren and juddgrace are their BEST relationships).

i've just been rambling this whole time and i don't think any of it actually makes sense but i have a meeting in 3 minutes so i gotta wrap this up. basically: taylor is here for now, i like her way more than ana, i don't mind that she's here, i DO think they will eventually break up for the reasons mentioned but i have no idea when or how it'll come about.

#ask #anonymous #i mean the dream is to start of s5 with eddie in love with buck and pining after him as he dates taylor #and then bucktaylor breaking up and buddie getting together #but like i said i'm a pessimist at heart so i don't think that'll happen #and i actually like taylor so like? i'm not complaining if she sticks around #kat has opinions

[norcumii]

The Rex/Obi theory

Since apparently we can pin a post, bringing this back from the old blog even though I really ought to do a better write up and just post it as meta on AO3. As always, ship and let ship, we’re all here to have fun, etc.

First off: background sources. Post Blue Shadow Virus, the Naboo gave Rex a set of guns. They are very shiny, very nice, and named Negotiator and Vigilance. Now, given that Obi-Wan has “The Negotiator” as a title, one has to wonder about “Vigilance.” Since Anakin is known as “The Hero With No Fear,” it’s probably not him.

It has also been pointed out to me (thank you, @morecivilizedage) that Obi-Wan’s flagships were the Vigilance and Negotiator. Which…yeah.

Later on, it seems the shuttle that Cody and Rex take in Rookies is named The Obex.

…I am not a fan of the name smushing habit people have for ships, but that’s…kind of blatant.

Also, I recently found out that Sideshow put out an Obi-Wan figure, based on the 2003 Clone Wars design (the modern Clone Wars, and what’s declared current canon, was the 2008 version). To my admittedly limited knowledge, Rex does not exist in the ‘03 show. If nothing else, he’s not listed as a character on the IMDB page. HOWEVER, part of this figure’s design is a wrist com hologram – of Rex. Not Cody. Not another Jedi. REX. WHO DOESN’T EVEN EXIST IN THAT SHOW, WHICH HAS SCREENSHOTS SHOWN ON THE BOX. They didn’t have to call the hologram Rex, and it’s out of continuity to the presented Obi-Wan, and would calling this hologram “Rex” instead of any other clone really sell more figures?

Gotta admit that’s Interesting.

Now, given I totally pick and choose data from non-show sources (…see the horrific novelizations of The Clone Wars – or better yet, please don’t. Character assassination abounds), we need to look at the actual show.

It starts with the movie. Cody has a minimalist presence in there, whereas Rex interacts with Obi-Wan a lot. There’s several scenes where there’s some lovely close interplay, including a bit where Obi-Wan is ordering Rex to pull back – while gripping Rex on the shoulder.

Take a moment. Consider how often you see on the show Obi-Wan touching anyone. He doesn’t tend to initiate that, and it’s rarely outside of a combat situation. But that man can’t seem to keep his hands off Rex. Watch with that in mind, and please, feel free to tell me I’m missing things.

So back to the Blue Shadow Virus. When Anakin is freaking out to Obi-Wan because his wife and student are liable to be the first to die, he wants to know how Obi-Wan can not be on edge. “I’m just better at hiding it.” Take the parallels – Padme and Ahsoka are Anakin’s family. Now, Obi-Wan is prolly also having a HUGE internal freakout because they are in THE hanger that started Duel of the Fates in Episode I, but if he’s hiding the same sort of emotional breakdown, who is that about?

Parallels are important. Take The Deserter. That is THE  shipping episode. Watch how Obi-Wan reacts throughout: he’s grumpy at first, because Grievous is up to the usual shit. Then he coms in to find out what Rex’s status is – and upon hearing Rex has been shot, his immediate reaction is worry, concern – I’d almost say he’s distraught. His orders to Jesse to hustle up and help them take down Grievous is more snarled, harsher, and from that point on Obi-Wan has an edge to him that wasn’t there before. This particular battle has become personal to him, and when Grievous gets away, there is genuine ANGER that a Jedi should not be expressing. What the hells else has Grievous done this   episode or the last to merit that sudden change?

As for the literal parallels, Cut is Rex’s counterpart. They are contrasted again   and again throughout the episode, and that culminates with Rex bidding Cut and his family farewell – so that Rex can go back to HIS family. So. If Rex is Cut, then the kids are obviously the other troopers under Rex’s command, and who does that leave as Suu’s counterpart?

Who is it that Rex talks to immediately? G’on, guess.

Also, Obi-Wan cannot stop gushing to Cody about Rex. I imagine poor Cody has to put up with this a LOT.

In fact, we can show that he does! The episodes with the Zygerrian slavers  – Kidnapped, Slaves of the Republic, and Escape from Kadavo – are just chock full of this. The main crew takes out two BARC speeders. Anakin has Ahsoka riding shotgun in the sidecar, while Obi-Wan has Rex. The intriguing bit is that Cody is left for cleanup and directing the rest of the clones, even though technically Rex is ordinarily in charge of a larger battle group (depending on what bit of canon you’re looking at). There’s that exchange in the slave mines OP mentioned (2 slightly different versions and commentary are linked). There’s also the sequence where Rex gets permission from Obi-Wan to take the shot and be a bad ass on the villain (“I’m no Jedi” indeed). That interplay is subtle, and implies the two work together and closely enough that a glance and a nod are enough to convey what’s  going on. Sure, the 501 and 212 work together often, but Obi-Wan has his own second-in-command.

Interestingly, Cody does not show up after the first episode in this arc. Given that they have the voice actor on hand, and the Wolf Pack is called in at the end for the rescue, tossing Cody and some 212 into the mix would have been easy. So that dynamic has implications.

Not factual enough yet? Screenshots of character positioning being more like a romance moment than in a war flick not good enough?

Let’s go to the Citadel arc. There’s more of the circumstantial evidence, where Rex can be interpreted as having Obi-Wan’s back more than one might think is usual.

But then there’s this gifset. As the mixed 212 and 501 soldiers are thawing from carbonite, watch Obi-Wan in the background. He nopes out of Anakin and Ahsoka’s tiff, and goes over to chat with Rex and Cody. When Obi-Wan gets over there, he raises his arm to do the shoulder grip thing (like I mentioned above, in the movie!). It might not be clear from the gifs, but there is not enough time for Obi-Wan to do that twice before he goes to the one arm behind the back kind of “at ease” posture. When he steps away from the troopers to be the Actual Adult in the room to Anakin and Ahsoka, Rex stands a bit straighter, in proper military posture, and dusts off his armor. It might not be a universal gesture of “aw yeah, I’m awesome,” but it sure seems pretty satisfied. Poor Cody meanwhile is watching the move, which  helps capture the viewer’s eye (and leaves me wondering if he’s going “what the hell is up with you?” or “do not make me hose you down”).

I would honestly love to know someone else’s interpretation of that with un-shipping goggles on. ‘Cause I admit, I don’t see it.

That, folks, is why I ship it like mad. There’s more circumstantial evidence throughout the show, like how Obi-Wan and Rex interact (like a married couple, or in fact often like Anakin and Padme are presented at their best). There’s Rex being extra fancy and staring at Obi-Wan WAY more than Anakin in The Voyage of Temptation, otherwise known as “Satine and Obi-Wan in a Shuttle and Anakin Being Oblivious.” There’s the simple implication of the chemistry between the characters, though that is obviously open to interpretation.

This is animation. It takes time and effort and money to animate a simple shoulder grip, or a specialized gesture such as buffing one’s nails. Voice acting is an art where you have to convey so much emotion with what can be small adjustments to words. Scripts have to go through so much oversight and tweaking to convey a particular story, within the wide scope, and themes and plot threads have to be carefully considered. This isn’t chance, this isn’t one   writer/animator/storyboarder going off into the weeds because they had a Neat Idea.

I really do think it’s canon.

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Random other bits I’ve gathered while re-watching the show:

During the movie, when Rex is told that General Kenobi’s been captured, he just freezes. He goes from digging around off screen for what I suspect is a new ammo cartridge, stills, then yells at the soldier that they have to hold  out, now keep. fighting. It’s less rallying the troops as a bit of emotional pushback.

During Voyage of Temptation, when Anakin is sassing Obi-Wan in the elevator about Satine the possible old flame, Rex is right there in the elevator with both of them (along with poor Cody). Rex isn’t on Anakin’s flank, but Obi-Wan’s (little odd, but I don’t recall offhand how they filed in). And Anakin is “sensing some anxiety” from Obi-Wan about Satine. I love how there’s now another reason for that.

In an…‘interesting’ coincidence, it seems that when Rex got shot in The Deserter, that’s the exact same place Obi-Wan gets shot in Deception. Nothing conclusive there, but it’s intriguing.

from The Zillo Beast Strikes Back – The first time we see Rex, Anakin is giving him orders to “Stay with General Kenobi” – there’s the implication that he’s already with the General.

They’re continuing to leave breadcrumbs in Rebels.

#star wars #the clone wars #sass and murder show #meta #Rex/Obi