#it's literally my favorite food on god's green earth

[stormyoceans]

i need horny puentalay rant from you now because HAVE YOU SEEN TALAY'S FACE WHEN HE ATE THAT CHIP FROM PUEN'S HAND??? HE'S MELTING RIGHT ON THIS GRASS AND LETTING PUEN TAKE HIM RIGHT HERE. OMG. AND WHEN THEY KISSED NEAR THAT GIANT TREE? I need ice, fan, refrigerator. it's too hot.

THOSE MAD MEN REALLY DECIDED THAT THE BEST WAY TO END THE SHOW WAS TO HAVE PUEN PICK TALAY UP BRIDAL STYLE AND CARRY HIM INTO THE FRIEND CREDITS RV TO FUCK ALL NIGHT THIS IS THE LEVEL OF DERANGEMENT WE GOTTA DEAL WITH

i bet puen actually dreamed to do that from the very first moment he and talay started to renovate the RV in the alternate universe..... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY IM GETTING SURPRISED ANYMORE THAT BOY HAS A LIST OF KINKS LONGER THAN THE LYRICS OF RAP GOD BY EMINEM. btw, not to toot my own horn, but every single thing i pointed out in the previous horny puen post??? they ALL got confirmed in the span of A SINGLE EPISODE

the sugar daddy/daddy kink? GOD WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. puen literally rented a WHOLE FREAKING RESTAURANT just for talay and ordered all of his favorite foods, he recreated and gifted talay every item that was important to them in the alternate universe, he constantly drove talay around even if talay has his own car, he dragged talay to cook with him but in the end made only one plate and would have been perfectly content with just staring at talay eating if talay didn't offer him some of it...... WE GET IT PUEN YOU WANT TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND SHOWER HIM IN LOVE AND AFFECTION AND FOOD AND PRETTY THINGS I SWEAR WE GET IT JUST CALM. DOWN.

puen wanting to eat talay out? I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THAT FINAL KISS AND TELL ME IF THAT AIN'T A STARVING MAN FINALLY GETTING TO FEAST. when he held talay's head with both of his hands???? no wonder talay looked SO DAZED AND OUT OF IT afterwards, puen literally kissed him until he got lightheaded and his glasses fogged over!!!!! he didn't drop, but BY GOD THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE (and no one can convince me that puen isn't into getting talay to the point where is all pliant and responsive and melting under his hands). AND DO WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE OPENING BED SCENE?????? puen said "i promise i'll be as gentle as possible. gentle but intense" and i was sitting there like WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH AM I LOOKING AT RN ARE WE SURE YOU'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT KISSING. adding "i won't hurt your lips" somehow didn't help AT ALL. and if you like a nice metaphor, let's not forget that while they were eating lay's, puen pointed at talay and said "can i have this lay too?" VERY SUBTLE. SMOOTH.

puen having a thing for talay's neck and for manhandling him? IM ONCE AGAIN GOING TO REDIRECT EVERYONE'S ATTENTION TO THAT LAST SCENE. but also to every time puen kissed or tried to kiss talay throughout the episode: grabbing talay's neck is basically the signal that he is read to POUNCE. and puen picking talay up reminded me of how he did a similar thing in episode 6 to get talay out of the way while they were filming the video for the association, so YOU KNOW that any time talay ends up working too much and neglecting everything else, puen is just gonna be like 'nope! time to take care of yourself and cuddle and have some sexy time!' [picks talay up and carries him to bed] NOT EVEN GONNA TOUCH ON THE WAY PUEN COVERED TALAY'S MOUTH WHILE THEY PLAYED THE PASSWORD GAME. do you know how /I/ would cover someone's mouth if I didn't want them to talk? NOT LIKE THAT, FRIENDS

ANYWAY. we talked a lot about puen because he is one very horny boy, but let me end this with one thing i actually believe talay is into, which is teasing puen with the possibility of kissing or touching him. like, maybe it's not something that he's purposely doing now that he still feels a bit shy, but look at the beginning of the episode and tell me that when talay gets bolder he won't thoroughly enjoy getting puen all worked up only to deny himself over and over again until puen is either begging him to pleasepleaseplease talay let me touch you please or pinning him against a wall so talay can no longer escape (very consensually) or both (jokes on all of us because puen is into that too)

#be honest with me from 1 to 10 how much should i feel embarrassed and go find a place to bury myself in #IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH #blame everyone involved in this show for making me even more unhinged than i already am!!!!!! #vice versa #vice versa the series #puentalay #m: ask

[wandaschaosx]

Just had an absolutely batsh insane dream

I woke up laughing lmao

so

It all started in a tennis court I was probably dropped off at against my own will, I looks around like damn this place boring af I want music.

So I see this speaker right ?

Crazy thing , I turn on some music and it’s playing and everything’s good , people vibe to it (as they should )

THEN THIS KID FROM MY SCHOOL COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

then it starts pouring rain so I decide to

Go outside ???, anyway there’s this really dark an ominous woods so I’m like “no thanks 😀” and then I go back and I hear this rap music that’s blasting at a frequency that could shatter glass and it’s none other than the spider verse soundtrack so I’m vibing until I realize it isn’t the spider verse soundtrack and it’s random rap that the kid from my school put on .

Everyone is PISSED so he starts getting all like “oh cry me a River and piss in it 🙄” so I’m all like okay rude and continue on.

It stops raining and I swear I literally blink and we’re all in this line, I see my friend (let’s call her watermelon I’m not disclosing any info sorry babes 💓)and I’m like oh “hey you here too” and she’s like “yeah lol “

Then I see my other friends let’s call her raspberry smoothie and I’m like omg come here (she’s in the back of the line ) and so I signal for her to come over and the person behind us gave us the nastiest look like I just 🔥ned his favorite store to the ground .

So I’m all like Oop sorry 😰.

I blink again and we’re in a tennis match

AGAINST PEOPLE FROM MARBLE FKING HORNETS

so I’m all like damn okay 😰 absolutely battling it out and then (hold on lemme Google sm real quick I forget his name )

ALEX

It’s Alex, alright so Alex is all like we should go upstairs lol and asks if we’re hungry (raspberry smoothie has disappeared and it’s just me and watermelon )

And me and watermelon look at one another like “??” There ain’t no upstairs to a tennis court wt-

AND IM TRANSPORTED TO A ROBLOX CLUB FOR A SPLIT SECOND WITH A TAYLOR SWIFT SHRINE IN THE MIDDLE (fearless era btw ) and I look around like

What

Then I see that other guy jay I think and we’re heading upstairs with Alex and Im like oh is this your uh

Room 😰

And their all like yeah lmao dwi

so me and watermelon are immediately getting bad vibes but like hey free food why not

By god’s grace

When I tell you

I walked in there

This room had the aesthetic of a back office in a GameStop that’s been running for 30 years on underplayed workers and road water . (I love GameStop absolutely no slander btw )

there was a really run down pc with a single chair (it looked like mine so I was all like ??wyd w my chair my guy ???💀)

and a bed with crumbs over it and a single closet

goodness gracious almighty if tony stark had not blessed me my soul would have been gone because when I opened that closet

It was a clear P L A S T I C T U B

of G R E A S Y P O P C O R N

with B T S McDonald’s fruit punch cups shoved into different areas of the popcorn

Looked like he really had to get in there to keep them in place ig

But I think what unsettled me more was that was the only thing in his closet

Like bon apple teeth or bonappetit as they say so my friends all like

What on gods green earth girl keep that in greasy groves

But I immediately say suit yourself because when in Rome am I right

5 star Gordon Ramsey approved I tell you

So me and watermelon sit down after that delectable meal and jay is sitting across from us and all of a sudden we’re on a plane??? Same positions but on a plane

And apparently I didn’t get the memo it’s 2023 because I saw myself in like 3rd person mode in a video game with raccoon stripes and the really stereotypical like 2000’s emo with the large bangs to one side and honestly I had no complaints

Beside the absolute horrendous lipstick I put on if you could even call it that

Lemme tell you sm, that lipstick came from the back trenches of early Sephora with a consistency so thick and melty I could have used it to butter a pan

So glad I didn’t taste it

All I’m doing now is “Oowhahahaah look at me emo ahaha “

Apparently my friend got a kick out of it and now I look like a single mother with her feral child

Then I woke up the end

#shitpost #emo #marble hornets #story time #meme #shitposting #tony stark #marvel #yasssss #floptok #creepypasta #random dream

[goodyprostate]

@quiffle & @maruchanishere both tagged me in this!

Relationship status: Taken! About to hit our one year already in a couple weeks and that's nuts to me.

Favourite color: Big on earthy greens and like a good burnt sienna. Earth tones in general.

Song stuck in my head: (literally on repeat)

Last song I listened to:

Three favourite foods: this vegan mac n cheese I make, tofu probably because it's so damn versatile, breakfast burritos. God I love food. Breakfast in general should have just been number one. Broccoli chick'n alfredo. I don't know. Food in general.

Last thing I googled: Yamaha TW200 larger fuel tank - I want something fun and small to ride around on so I'm just getting ideas.

Dream Trip: Snowboarding/hiking trip in Japan. I'd love to get back to Zion eventually and spend a little more time there and Canyonlands. Gros Morne National Park in Newfoundland. BC, Canada. So many places.

One thing I'm craving right now: This plate from my favorite local vegan spot that comes with beans, fried tofu nuggets, sautéed garlic greens, and cornbread. I get it every single time I go. That with this berry tea mocktail they make. So fucking good.

I'm passing this along to: Maybe I can think of someone later. You guys are like the only ones on here I still talk to. Sorry for being less active! Life's been wild.

[writer-in-theory]

payback is a bitch. im payback - all of them.

you know...i should've seen this coming.

who is/are your comfort character(s)? well fuck. um, luna lovegood, alec lightwood, spencer reid, billy hargrove to name just a few

lighter or matches? LIGHTER. oh my god i hate matches. i use them for labs all the time and for some reason everyone around me is terrified of them so i end up lighting about 12 bunsen burners on the fucking daily.

do you leave the window open at night? FUCK NO. but i also live on the ground floor in the middle of the city, so you know.

which cryptyd being do you believe in? MOTHMAN MOTHMAN MOTHMAN. also there's a cryptid like 5 minutes from my hometown that i'll message you about on discord so i dont literally dox myself.

what color are your eyes? green !! i also have central heterochromia so there's some gold around the center in a ring.

why did you do that? i mean the usual answer is bc im a chaotic bitch lmao.

hair-ties or scrunchies? scrunchies !! i have thick curly hair and elastics leave bad indents in it

how many water bottles are in your room right now? none. coke bottles? twelve.

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? cold what the fuck is there another answer?? although when i'm walking to class and its cold as shit outside, hot ig but only for survival purposes.

would you slaughter the rich? eat the rich fuck yeah buddy.

favorite extracurricular activity? laying on the floor blasting music in my ears at maximum volume to stop thinky. but also writing, ig.

what kind of day is it? well i depression napped for 7 hours today then woke up only to actually freak the fuck out about a fic i posted earlier in the day sooo

when was the last time you ate? around 7 sooo five hours ago ish??

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? thats one of my favorite smells of all time. i also love the smell in the air right before it rains

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) fuck no im not qualified enough for that

can you drive? noooope. im trying but its very hard :c

are you farsighted or nearsighted? nearsighted and i have astigmatisms

what hair products do you use? god so many. leave-in, mousse, curl cream, oil, and on some days a bit of gel

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? hell yeah i love painting nails. i used to do nail art !!

do you say soda or pop? soda soda soda soda-

something you’ve kept since childhood? i have a penguin stuffie my grandparents got for me as a kid. it's gone everywhere, to all vacations and everything. i also have a little note from my first boyfriend from when i was like 8 or 9. he told me i was pretty and that everything would be okay and its just so innocent and sweet i had to keep it.

what type of person are you? an angry one who has no idea what they're doing 97% of the time

how do you feel about chilly weather? i hate it. i hate it so much. i love fall clothes but i hate being cold and i hate ice and i hate snow.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? drinking and sharing stories probably. i used to love climbing out onto my rooftop and drinking cheap whiskey with people.

perfume/body spray or lotion? i can't say both?? but fine, i can't live without my cerave so lotion.

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? whenever i get upset i imagine what a first book signing would look like if i can publish a popular book. it replays a lot lmao

about how many hours of sleep did you get? last night? none.

do you wear a mask? YES YES YES. i'm immunocompromised like fuck so always.

how do you like your shower water? hot as fuck. i better be burning and i better look like a lobster when im done.

is there dishes in your room? nope. i leave bottles but my line is dishes that had food on them.

what type of music keeps you grounded? sad music or anything with sounds that scratches the brain nice

do you have a favorite towel? nah not really i have cheap ass towels so idc

the last adventure you’ve been on? i went to ikea?

is there a song you know every word to by heart? oh so many. there's this irish folk song that has an important meaning to me that ive known the words to since forever.

what’s your timezone? eastern !!

how many times have you changed your url? none, surprisingly. i just really love the one i came up with first i feel like it perfectly captures me

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? yep!! i have an internet friend that i've known for exactly 10 years now.

a soap bar that smells good? i have one that's sandalwood and vanilla that im in love with

do you use lip balm? yes constantly. burt's bees!!

did you have any snacks today? yeee i had gushers and cheetos.

how do you take your coffee? if i'm making it at home i put a bit of creamer in it then hazelnut syrup, usually.

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? i feel like im on discord constantly anymore

what’s your take on spicy foods? i'm...so bad. i cant handle spicy at all which is so tragic. like it's embarrassing and laughable lmao.

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? he knows who he is.

can you remember what happened yesterday? uhh i worked, went to ikea, then talked Tea with cj and serenity lmao

favorite holiday film? okay im a bitch for cheesy romcoms. i love the holidate, holidays in handcuffs, and if we're going not romcom then the nightmare before christmas.

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? i was very young when i had my first sip. but my first whole drink on my own? i was sixteen.

can you skip rocks? yesss that was like a must growing up where i was. easy way to pass the time, you know?

can i tag you in random stuff? always.

#ask jay #ask game #cj 🌙

[plutoccult]

BRINGING THEM TO THANKSGIVING (PART ONE)

characters: eren yeager, armin arlert, jean kirstein, connie springer, and mikasa ackerman

description: headcanons on taking your favorite aot characters home to your family for thanksgiving.

read part two here

author’s note: hi, everyone! while i’m still very much mourning the end of attack on titan, i’m very much ecstatic and over the moon after seeing how many notes my love mine all mine has received! while the likes are appreciated, reblogs are appreciated even more! it’s what gives writers more exposure! reblog your favorite writers, people!!! give them fuel! anyway, i’m delving into making headcanons now, and since it’s november, why not do something thanksgiving related? i will do a part two with more characters though, don’t worry! enjoy <3

EREN YEAGER:

— eren is a literal menace. he eats like a GREMLIN, like it’s his last meal on earth. so, when you invite him to your family’s house for thanksgiving dinner, you can only pray to whatever god you believe in that he doesn’t act like a total nutcase.

— he’s so cool and calm when you walk through the door with him, everyone ecstatic to see you bring someone home. he’s making his rounds with everybody, playing video games with your cousins while they wait for food, he even stopped your niece from crying when you couldn’t! it was like he was on his bestest (yes, totally a word) behavior! you actually think to yourself that nothing could go wrong… until food is ready.

— now, eren is pretty built, but not totally buff like reiner. your family is shocked when they see him practically inhale his food. whatever is given to him, he’s eating it. the only sounds coming out of his mouth is him chewing. well, if he miraculously chewed his food before swallowing.

— after finishing a plate of food, the first words to come out of his mouth were “can i have another?” god, your family could only hope he’d be too full for pie later on. you had hyped up your grandma’s pumpkin pie for months now, so eren was so excited to finally try it.

— when it finally came to dessert time though, poor eren was too full. he convinced himself he would explode if he ate just a bite from the fork you offered. you weren’t complaining too much, more pie for you! besides, he could always come back next year and hopefully learn his lesson.

ARMIN ARLERT:

— armin. armin, armin, armin. he’s such a sweetheart, an angel sent from heaven. you were almost convinced your family loved him more than they loved you since they were more excited to hear that armin would be attending thanksgiving.

— he put in the effort to memorize everyone’s names, even remembering what grades your cousins were in at school. he’d even point out how much they’d grown too despite seeing them at the previous family shindig. armin was certified family at this point.

— he’s so polite at the dinner table, calmly asking to pass the mashed potatoes, complimenting your aunt’s green bean casserole, it was almost like he had it down to a science. your family would swoon over how much of a sweetheart armin was. they wouldn’t hesitate to dig at someone else’s significant other and say “why can’t you be more like armin?” either. he’s the poster child for the perfect partner.

— honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if armin brought dessert he made himself. i can see him having a secret fudge recipe that he refuses to reveal to anyone, not even you (although if you were being honest, you saw the tab for the recipe open on his laptop once). by the end of the night, whatever container he brought was undoubtedly empty, and your family would just have to wait until the next holiday for more.

JEAN KIRSTEIN:

— a bit of a mixed bag, honestly. he will definitely try to put on this ultimate smooth, cool guy act, but everyone immediately hates it. you tried to tell jean to just be himself while you were on the way there, but he INSISTED that he knew what he was doing. of course, he was wrong and you were right!

— thankfully, the pathetic facade goes away when the youngest members of your family (either little siblings, cousins, or both) want to play with jean and use his tall ass as a jungle gym. it’s too hard for him to resist the smiles and laughter, and that is when your family begins to warm up to him. you even think in your head how good of a father jean would be seeing how good he was with kids.

— in my head, jean is a full blown artist in the modern au. so, of course, when your family asks about what he does for a living, they joke that they hope you bring enough money to the table. HE’S TRYING HIS BEST!!! but if we’re being completely honest, he would totally shut their mouths when he shows some pictures from his latest art show. this man is an ARTISTE!

— he’s totally cool at the dinner time, just as polite as armin would be, but not as shy in comparison. he would even be nice enough to ask who made what and compliment everything. and since he’s a big boy, he would ask for some more servings, but not as insane as eren. your family would even joke that he needs to eat more because he’s “built like a noodle or something” and it crushes his ego a little bit because he works so hard to maintain his muscles.

— at some point, you’re asked when jean is going to put a ring on it, and jean would tease that he’ll get the job done by new year’s. you think he’s just joking, but in reality, he has an engagement ring hidden in your apartment as he spoke. that man is here to STAY.

CONNIE SPRINGER:

— similar to eren, but probably way worse. connie walks in with FULL chaotic energy. he will literally make the most out of pocket jokes right off the bat, which makes part of you wished you just stayed home this year.

— even if connie is a little chaotic, he can be sweet at times when it counts. i feel like grandparents would have a soft spot for him for some reason? he’ll kick it with your grandma and grandpa like he’s lived a long life just like them. connie would probably make a joke thanking them for the invention of the rocking chair.

— but oh, don’t worry, he can channel his inner child (as if it’s hidden anyway) when it comes to hanging out with the quote unquote “youngin’s.” he’s definitely the type to cheat at a board game and laugh at a little kid when they cry over losing. if there’s video games involved, he’ll scream at the tv over mario kart and make everyone think someone died or something.

— at dinner, when asked what he’s thankful for, he’d say something totally random like beyoncé and fried chicken. it totally throws everyone off at the dinner table, but connie is very proud of his statement. how could you not be thankful for beyoncé’s existence?

— considering connie is sasha’s best friend, that man can EAT. he’s the biggest eater out of everyone in the room, and it’s not surprising that he’d be accused of being high by your snotty aunt. his response? “damn, i should’ve smoked a blunt before this.”

— it’s safe to say that connie’s presence at your family’s thanksgiving would be unforgettable.

MIKASA ACKERMAN:

— i would consider mikasa to receive the same treatment as armin; universally loved by everyone. but, i’d say it’s for different reasons. while armin is adored for his smarts and good heart, mikasa is considered cool in the eyes of your family because of how strong she is.

— she’s shy upon first meeting your family, too afraid to mess everything up. it’s definitely noticeable, but once mikasa is broken out of her shell, she’s a total delight in the eyes of your family.

— i see her being skilled in various sports, noting that her attitude on the field is completely different compared to when she’s off the field. i imagine she gets flustered when you ask her to roll up her sleeves and flex her arms for everybody, but when she does, everyone in the room is amazed. the kids will want to do outrageous things like sit on her while she does pushups or other crazy shit like that after seeing her strength.

— mikasa is the type to pretend to like something even when she hates it. you warn her before dinner that some people in your family “don’t believe in flavor”, and advise her against certain dishes. but when she’s asked if she wants a serving, she feels too bad to say no, and she suffers through it. but when she gets to the good stuff, it makes up for those few bites of previous suffering. you’ll definitely laugh at her later over it.

— while mikasa was initially so nervous to come over for thanksgiving, she’s glad to have taken the leap and hopes for many more holiday’s with you.

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #eren x reader #armin arlert #armin arlert x reader #armin x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirsten x reader #jean x reader #connie springer #connie springer x reader #connie x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa x reader #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #attack on titan headcanons #shingeki no kyojin headcanons #310802 #pluto writes 📝

[thegeminisage]

my mother, kind and benevolent, has purchased me potato soup from town. i love soup <3

#good food to eat while having covid <3 #southerners: it's the loaded baked potato soup fropm fatz cafe #if you haven't had it go have it (safely with masks and takeout) #it's literally my favorite food on god's green earth #best accented with EXTREEEEMELY sweet tea #personal #covid blogging

[fandomtrashfox]

Random Loki headcanons.

-Loki has a massive sweet tooth. It’s canon that Loki enjoys food from Midgard more than food from Asgard, but I headcanon that he’s also fairly partial to sweets.

This is...mostly due to irl offerings to Loki apparently being sweets, but-

-One of Loki’s love languages is physical touch...but- Loki is just one of those people who, regardless of context, will often respond to sudden displays of physical affection like a passing car splashed him with puddle water. Just- freezing up with wide eyes, arms lifted away from the person while he’s currently blue-screening on the inside.

...Thor is very used to this being his reaction when he hugs him.

-Loki’s usually wakes up at dawn. I literally don’t know what brought this thought on. Somehow my brain just said: “Loki wakes up at dawn and usually goes to bed really early.” and now that’s just in my brain. So, basically, Loki was/is usually one of, if not the very first person to be awake in the Asgard palace.

-Loki’s favorite colour isn’t green, it’s actually gold. He wears gold more sparingly because over-saturation is never a good thing.

-Loki is a light-weight. When it comes to alcohol and being able to hold alcohol, Thor definitely has him beat, along with...just about every other Asgardian. Besides being ‘Odin’s son’ and ‘The god of mischief’, Loki is also known in Asgard as being the easiest person in the realm to get drunk.

-Why is this so well-known is Asgard? Simple: Whenever he gets drunk, Loki turns into a party animal. Thus, Thor tends to make a habit of ‘gently persuading’ him to join Asgardian parties so he can try to get his brother drunk. That way, his brother will have a good time. Then, he (and Sif/the warriors three) can 1. relax and not have to worry about Loki pulling some mischief somewhere. and 2. Have some nice entertainment watching Loki parade around on the tables singing and dancing.

Loki hates it when Thor does this because Loki finds his actions when drunk humiliating.

-Loki knows how to ice skate and is actually good at it. So good that at one point he genuinely considered joining the figure skating portion of the Olympic games under an alias once. This was before the events of the Thor movie, during one of his visits to earth, of course. He ultimately decided against it, (Especially after realizing how much paperwork was involved.) but I’ll tell you with 100% certainty that if he’d gone through with it, he would’ve at least placed in the top 3.

-Loki once had a crush on Sif. I feel like this isn’t that uncommon. But yeah, I headcanon that Loki had a thing for her in the past, but either he told her and was rejected, or he just gave up/found out she wasn’t interested and just moved on.

-Loki’s favorites. Yes, I’ve even come up with this, haha. -His favorite food is cheesecake (Candied apples being a close second.) -His favorite season is Autumn -His favorite music genre is Classical/Broadway-style music -and finally, his favorite flowers are Tiger lilies.

-Loki doesn’t like coffee. Yup, he’s not a coffee drinker. He’s on team tea for sure, though he’s also on the unofficial third team of the argument: Team hot cocoa. He’s stubborn about this, he will die on this hill.

The best part: Thor is the opposite. He loves coffee and dislikes tea (As is also said in Ragnarok) so-

#loki headcanon #loki headcanons #marvel headcanons #marvel headcanon #character headcanons #headcanon #headcanons #headcanons marvel #random headcanon #general headcanons #fan headcanons #fanon #marvel loki headcanon #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki friggason #asgard headcanons

[wall-maria-fritz]

Calm the Fuck Down, Itadori

Yuuji Itadori x Jennifer Lawrence

Summary: Where Yuuji manages to drag Megumi and Nobara to a Tokyo Comic Con.

A/N: I took this way too seriously, jeezus.

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori”

Megumi wanted to shoot himself in the foot.

He absolutely loathed conventions.

Especially when you got a bunch of idiots with a complete disregard for deodorant and personal space simping around in costumes as if they aren’t fully grown men.

Idiots like Itadori, who was currently wasting his life savings on X-Men stickers.

“Yeah,” Nobara piped in, already side-eyeing a man in a green cape with white and blue wings, and funny looking swords that look like box cutters—he was asking her if he could take a picture with her Petra Ral look.

Who the fuck is Petra Ral anyway? Nobara is SURE she looks way cuter though.

“How are you still so gaga over X-Men anyway?” she continues, with a flip of her ginger hair. “You’re literally a sorcerer, Yuuji. You fight curses in real life.”

Almost like whiplash, Yuuji turns on Nobara with an intensity she’s only seen in battle.

“Never. Disrespect X-Men.”

Yuuji was wide eyed; one hand pointing at Nobara, another clutching a handful of stickers and keychains (when did he buy those?) with a very blue woman on them.

Is she… naked? Nobara wonders, but is immediately interrupted by Yuuji’s incoming sermon.

“X-Men is a poignant commentary on society, Kugisaki. It is a masterpiece that only people with taste can appreciate, with characters so well written—“

But Yuuji’s fanboying gospel was cut short when a smattering of whoops and applause erupted from onstage, as a man dressed as… Thanos in a thong—Thongos, he called himself. Ok.—officially started the day’s most awaited event, and that was to meet X-Men’s Hollywood actors, in the flesh!

It was then that Megumi verbalized what everyone was thinking at this point.

“I didn’t know Itadori knew what ‘poignant’ meant”

Yuuji Itadori raced towards the front of the crowd like it was an orgasm out of reach, tightly clutching onto the barricade (also like he was clutching his [redacted]).

He didn’t know when and how his friends managed to catch up to him, but when X-Men’s glittering line up of beautiful people came out on stage, both Nobara and Megumi looked to each other in complete understanding beside him-- of course Itadori was here to simp for Jennifer Lawrence.

And of course he’d spend every yen to his name just to catch a glimpse of this woman in nothing but a skin-tight blue spandex that left no curve nor valley to the imagination.

“I LOVE YOU JENNIFER LAWRENCE”

Yuuji proceeded to fucking shriek in broken English.

“I EAT AMERICAN FOOD FOR YOU”

Megumi and Nobara both took a step from Yuuji.

‘Nope! The weird guy? They don’t know him.’

To their horror, they watch a grinning mouth appear at Yuuji’s cheek, already salivating.

“Gotta give it to ya, punk. That IS one fine ass,”

Sukuna’s mouth let its long tongue lick around his lips.

“I hope you got us some backstage passes, kid”

Megumi and Nobara shivered.

But clearly, Itadori and Sukuna weren’t the only ones going absolutely bananas for the X-Men, it might have very well been the entire building cheering for the cast.

It was until a bald guy in a wheelchair signaled for the audience to quiet down, did the sea of sweaty geeks calm down.

After a few introductions, and further hyping, the mic was finally passed to Jennifer Lawrence, whose character was apparently named Mystique.

Like a child showing off to his parents, Yuuji looks at Megumi and Nobara, pointing at Jennifer Lawrence as if saying, “Look! It’s her! That’s her! It’s actually her!”

Yuuji then proceeds to kiss three fingers raised up like he was doing a Boy Scout’s pledge, and raised those three fingers in there air, whistling three drawn out notes.

The idiot was giving her the Hunger Games salute, Jesus fucking Christ.

“Ehehe. Yeah, show her which fingers you’re gonna fuck her with,” Sukuna chuckles.

Which Yuuji responds to by forcibly jockeying Sukuna’s mouth off his cheek, shutting the curse up;

Yuuji Itadori drinks enough Respect Women Juice to give the Sahara a year of rain, alright.

Soon, everyone was giving Jennifer the salute.

Jennifer waves away the salutes, and stage-whispers into the mic with that raspy and sexy, according to Yuuji, voice of hers, and says, “Psst! Wrong fandom guys!”

The crowd laughs, as Jennifer awkwardly prattles about how she’s contract-bound to only talk about X-Men today, and that she really needs her job, ok?

And to be honest? Megumi and Nobara are starting to like her! I mean, who wouldn’t? Jennifer’s such a sweet, and down-to-earth girl. They’re glad that if there was anyone Yuuji was going to simp for, it’s Jennifer Lawrence.

“It’s such an honor to meet you, Tokyo!” Jennifer greets charmingly. “I was so excited to meet you guys, I didn’t even need to take a shot before I got here!” Jennifer shrugs with an exaggerated look on her face.

The crowd ate it all up.

“In fact, I was SO excited that I pumped myself up with enough anime references to say,” and in that magical moment, Jennifer Lawrence send finger guns down Yuuji’s way and winks--

“That’s one HECK of a JJK cosplay, man!”

And oh my Lord, it was like Yuuji died and went to heaven.

Even Sukuna was speechless.

But if Yuuji had to guess, Sukuna might have even been proud of him if only wasn’t you know, a jackass.

Megumi and Nobara couldn’t really remember what happened for the rest of the segment, because they might as well have leashed Yuuji with the way he was going crazy for Jennifer, hollering to her that he got her lasagna and Cheetos in his backpack in more broken English.

In the end, the two are left to rein Yuuji in as he eagerly waits for Jennifer out the backstage entrance, fully armed with an X-Men comic book and that lasagna he promised.

Yuuji was practically vibrating in excitement.

“Yuuji, it’s been two hours. Let’s go back to campus,” Nobara groaned, moaning to Megumi how Gojo better pay for their babysitting hours.

“She's almost out, you guys--!” Yuuji cries back, as the stage doors finally open to reveal Jennifer Lawrence in a much more sensible outfit of dress pants and a smart, low-neckline blouse.

“Eyes up, Itadori,” Megumi mumbles at Yuuji, who was already getting slack jawed at the sight of Jennifer’s cleavage.

Yuuji swallows the massive lump in his throat, and snaps his eyes back up to Jennifer’s hooded ones.

“Oh hey! You’re that JJK guy!” Jennifer greets good-naturedly. She was smiling radiantly at Yuuji and his friends, first shaking Nobara and Megumi’s hands as she laughed, “Damn, you even dressed up as the main character’s friends! You’re all like Hermione, Ron, and Harry Potter except… well, your characters won’t actually die, eep”

“Do we tell her?” Nobara nudges Megumi.

“Don’t you dare.” Megumi hisses back.

The dark-haired sorcerer then turns to Jennifer with a polite smile, and says in perfect English,

“Ooh, we’ll try not to spoil it for you, Jennifer.”

Nobara snaps her head to Megumi.

“Since when did you speak White???”

“Shut the fuck up, Nobara,” Megumi grits out.

Jennifer winked at Megumi, giving him an ‘I-get-you’ look and finally turned to sign Yuuji's comic book, only for him to freeze.

They both blinked at each other for a moment. One almost as awkward as the other.

Jennifer Lawrence though, god bless her, took this all in stride.

“No worries, dude, I freeze up, too,” she says while pretending to freeze up in jest. “Do you want me to sign your comic book?”

And if Yuuji wasn’t absolutely head over heels in love with Jennifer before, he certainly was now.

“I-- I…” Yuuji stammered.

Megumi and Nobara looked worriedly to their friend, there was no way in hell they were gonna let Yuuji fuck up now. Not after a whole afternoon of body odor and overpriced tentacle art, no way.

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori and give her the comic,” Megumi whispers to Yuuji.

And in a snap, Yuuji Itadori was bowing as low as possible, arms out with his offerings, exclaiming to the highest simping power-- “I BROUGHT YOU YOUR FAVORITE JENNIFER!”

Jennifer’s face lit up at the sight of the lasagna, “Oh wow! You got me food! Thanks for remembering!”

She takes the lasagna gratefully, and quickly signs the comic, “What’s your name?”

“Errr… Y-Yuuji.”

Jennifer returns the comic book to Yuuji, now signed--

‘Thank You for the Lasagna, Yuuji! You know me soooo well!

Stay Sweet <3

-J Law.’

And as if each and every one of Yuuji’s dreams came true, Jennifer leaned forward and gave Yuuji a quick peck on the cheek.

Yuuji couldn’t even react, because in a whirlwind, Nobara was taking a picture of Yuuji and Jennifer, a coral kiss mark on Yuuji’s wide-eyed face.

~

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori,” Megumi groaned for probably the hundredth time now.

But Yuuji didn’t care.

Jennifer Lawrence just kissed him.

He’s pretty sure he can be a little manic with disbelief.

“Yuuji, I swear to god, if you don’t stop, I’m deleting the photo from my phone.”

Nobara was done.

“NO--”

~

In the end, Yuuji may not have anything to eat for the next two weeks, but it was totally worth it.

He managed to convince Megumi to lend him some money.

#jujutsu kaisen #itadori yuuji #yuuji itadori x reader #yuuji itadori x jennifer lawrence #yuuji itadori x y/n #yuuji itadori x you #jjk yuuji itadori #yuuji itadori jjk #yuji itadori x reader #yuji itadori #yuji itadori x you #yuji itadori x y/n #yuuji itadori x oc #yuji itadori x oc #yuji itadori x jennifer lawrence #jennifer lawrence #x-men #petra ral is nobaara #nobara kugisaki #megumi jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen yuuji #yuuji jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen yuuji itadori #yuuji itadori jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu sorcerer #comicon #hunger games

[elivanah-writes]

Gift of the gods

pairing: Paul Lahote x female!pagan!reader

Sum: what if the gods did granted readers wish? 

warnings: a smal bit of smut please skip that if you’re under 18!

masterlist

It was almost twilight when y/n arrived at la push beach with her small backpack, it had been years since the last time that she had been here but it still felt like coming home. She quickly kicked out her shoes so she could feel the earth beneath her bare feet as she walked to what used to be her secret spot. It was a place close to the shoreline that was kept hidden by some bushes and a few trees. If you’d be walking on the beach you’d never see it if someone was sitting there, and that was what she was looking for. She didn’t want people to see what she was about to do, this was something for herself, something she did every time she traveled.

Once she had reached the spot she drops down to her knees in the sand and starts to unpack the five candles and matches that were in the backpack. Colored ribbons decorated four of the candles, she picked up the one with the yellow ribbon and placed it in the east, the one with the red she placed in the south, blue in the west, and green in the north so the four candles formed a circle around her. As she took the matches in her hand she took the time to clear her mind as best as she could so her mind was only in that moment when she started to light each candle. By then the sun was set but it wasn’t completely dark yet, ‘the perfect time’ she thought to herself as she started to cast her protective circle.

“I call the Guardian of the east and the element of air to watch over this sacred circle”

“I call the Guardian of the south and the element of fire to watch over this sacred circle.”

“I call the Guardian of the west and the element of water to watch over this sacred circle.”

“I call the Guardian of the north and the element of earth to watch over this sacred circle.”

With every sentence she spoke she visualized a physical circle forming around her.

Unknown to her there were more than just the element guardians watching her. Hidden behind the treeline 2 wolves were watching the scene unfold curious about what was happening. “she looks familiar” Jared said through the mind link to Paul. “Nah, doesn’t seem familiar to me. Should we report this to Sam? We don’t know what she’s up to.” Paul responded. “I don’t see harm in the girl, but it might be a good idea to keep an eye on her as long as she’s on that beach.” 

So the two kept watching the girl in silence.

Y/n took a deep breath before lighting the last plain white candle and placed it in front of her and started to focus on opening her mind as she spoke.

“God and Goddess, grant me the power of water to accept with ease and grace what I cannot change. grant me the power of fire for the energy of courage to change the things I can. Grant me the power of air for the ability to know the difference, and grant me the power earth for the strength to continue my path.”

After a moment of meditation with her eyes closed, she could feel how her mind eased with the peace she needed. 

Suddenly a branch snapped behind her, making her eyes shot open. When she looked over her shoulder in the direction the sound came from she was stunned, two large wolves were looking straight at her. One was dark brown and as soon as the animal had noticed her looking back at them he stepped back disappearing behind the treeline. The other was dark silver like and stared deeply back at her without moving, it’s brown eyes looking so human that she started to doubt if what she was seeing was real. It got so intense that she had to look away at some point but the moment she looked back the wolf was gone. y/n shrugged and blew out the candle in front of her, it was time to go. She thanked the guardians and sent them back on their way before blowing out the rest of the candles and packed everything back into her backpack.

--------------- 18+ SMUT

“Oh baby, that’s it” his deep voice moaned, his warm soft hands guided the movement of her hips while she was on top of him. She could feel him pulsing inside of her, she could feel every vein that ran through his hard cock with every move of her hips. She had never felt this good, this complete and safe. His moans only added up to her arousal and made her in turn also moan out loud every time her clit made contact with his pubic bone. “Yes my love let me hear that beautiful voice of yours.” he practically growled before he lifted her off his lap and turned them so y/n was laying on her back with the brown eyed man on top of her looking at her lovingly. 

“I love you, y/n”

Next thing she knew he was thrusting back inside of her while he kissed her passionately.

Her lover held himself up with one hand next to her head while as other hand found it’s place on her clit, rubbing the little bundle of nerves in sync with the movements of his own hips.

Y/n was a moaning mess at the mercy of her lover that brought her closer and closer to the peak of pleasure. But just before she could fall over the edge and have the most earth-shattering orgasm she was sure she would have a voice called out to her.

---------- end smut

“Wake up sleepyhead! The sunlight is here to greet the day!”

Y/n’s eyes shot open while she groaned. It was just a dream, there was no hot brown eyed man that was making her feel good.

“What do you want Kim, it’s way too early” y/n groaned as she saw her usual shy friend standing in the door opening. Y/n wasn’t a morning person especially after a dream like that.

“Oh, you grumpy cat” Kim chuckled, “Come on, we need to leave soon or there won’t be much breakfast left at Emily’s. And the guys are dying to meet you.”

That’s right, she almost forgot. When a week ago Y/n arrived at her friends’ place Kim was so happy to see her that they had spent most of that time together, catching up on everything that had happened since the last time Y/n was here.

Y/n had spent most of her youth here in La Push, growing up as a foster kid in Kim’s family until another family adopted her at the age of 15. Kim had always been more like a sister to her so even after she had left with her adoptive family she had kept in touch with Kim and her parents.

Now after a week full of quality time and their favorite things done it was time to meet Kim’s boyfriend and his friends in real life. She had already heard a lot about Jared, even before the two got together. Kim was so in love with him that sometimes y/n had to butt in if she wanted to say something. But Y/n was happy that her friend had found someone that treated her right. 

“Okay give me a minute to get ready,” Y/n said as she literally rolled out of bed and got up.

Fifteen minutes later y/n was dressed and ready to go. Kim had said that Emily’s place wasn’t that far so they decided to walk the short distance.

“Y/n, I was wondering. So every time you travel or do something important you do that ritual to ask the gods for strength and balance right?” Kim suddenly started knowing about her pagan believes.

“Yeah, why?”

“What if the gods grant your wish? But what if they grant it in the form of a person, like a soulmate?”

Y/n didn’t expect that to be her question because it wasn’t something she had thought of before.

“I don’t know Kim, for me, it’s more something like inner strength. You know. It’s something I want to for myself but hey I’m never turning down a gift from the gods. Especially if that gift is in the form of a hot guy made just for me.” she laughed.

They could hear the laughs of multiple people coming from the little but beautiful house that stood in the middle of an open field surrounded by trees. But the moment the girls started to walk closer to the house the laughing stopped, the sliding door opened and before she knew it Kim was lifted off her feet and spun around in the arms of who she recognized as Kim’s boyfriend Jared.

“Hey, you must be Y/n, Kim has told us a lot about you.” Jared smiled at her once he had placed Kim back onto her own feet, but still kept his arm around her waist.

“Yeah I am, it’s nice to finally meet you. Kim hasn’t shut up about you.” she chuckled making Jared and Kim chuckle too.

“Well come on in, breakfast is served” a sweet voice called out from the small porch.

“Wellcome Y/n I’m Emily”

She thanked her for the invitation before following the small group inside where the kitchen table was already filled with food and a bunch of guys sitting around it.

“Hey, guy!” Kim greeted the guys around the table with a smile before pointing at me.

“This is my sister Y/n, Y/n meet Sam, Jacob, Embry, Quil, Leah, Seth.” Every time Kim said a name a hand shot up with a short “hey” or “hello”. They all seemed like the nice and fun people Kim described them as but wasn’t there supposed to be another guy? If she remembered correctly a guy named Paul was missing from the group but she didn’t press that thought, because soon she was lead to a chair at the table and almost everyone started to fill their plates with food. She had just started to fill her plate too when she heard a voice call out from another room in the house.

“Leave some food for me, you animals!” followed by a warm laugh and footsteps coming closer until a large form filled the door opening on her left. He had broad shoulders, short dark hair, and the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen. He hadn’t noticed her yet so she took the opportunity to really look at him, those eyes seemed familiar, he seemed familiar. She had seen him before. His whole being, even his voice made her heart jump in her chest. Then he turned his head and looked straight at her, it seemed like his eyes lighted up in that same recognition, his smile got wider than it already was. 

“Hey, you must be Y/n. I’m Paul.” He greeted her before he took a seat on the other side of the table right in front of her. 

Then she knew where she knew him from, Paul was the guy from in her dreams. She quickly averted her eyes, afraid he’d notice that she had been staring at him. She quickly looked around her to see if someone had noticed but everyone was having their own conversation, that was until her eyes met those of a smirking Kim. Of course, she had noticed, when Kim winked at her their conversation from earlier sprung in her mind. What if the gods did had granted her wish? Because she was almost sure she had even saw those same eyes a week ago when she was in the middle of her prayer. Could it be that Paul was her gift from the gods, her soulmate?

tags: 

@its-la-push​   @ghostmistwalker​ @bisexualcrazybeans​

#paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote smut #paul lahote fanfiction #pagan reader #alex meraz #twilight #kim #jared cameron #embry call #sam uley #quil ateara #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #jacob black #paul x reader #paul lahote x y/n

[ohitshoneybee]

Sleepover

Loki (2021) Self Insert AU

Summary: An odd group of friends has a movie night in one of the Time Theaters, and shenanigans ensue.

Word Count: 1384

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, that's it

A/N: You guys. My first ever fic here on tumblr?? I'm so hyped, y'all have no idea! Special thanks to @nebulousfishgills for being my motivation and helping co-create this funky AU and for creating this *incredible* mood board! Enjoy.

The sight of a mountain of blankets, pillows, and other soft items sitting in Time Theater 27, along with a buffet of cookies, chips, and drinks, wasn't unusual. The appearance of the Time Door, precisely at half-past eight wasn't odd either. In fact, it had become a sort of routine for a handful of TVA employees. Ravonna always showed up early to set things up, Casey and Hunter B-15 not far behind. Mobius strolling in at around ten till, with Loki, Olivia, and Sylvie showing up at nine on the dot.

Now, you may have asked yourself, 'What relevance does the time door have? Are we missing someone? And why all the blankets and everything?' Well dear reader, at approximately eight-forty, Oliver walks through the door for the final time that night, the last armful of blankets and tray of brownies in hand.

A cheery "Hey B-15! I made your favorite brownies again!" heard from across the room piques the hunter’s interest, as well as Mobius'.

"Oliver! You made it! I mean of course you made it, what am I even saying? Whatever, come sit down!" Mobius jumps up to accept the platter of brownies, sneaking a couple before anyone else could get to them. Olivia and Loki, arm in arm, saunter over to greet Oliver.

"Hey, you're here! And just in time too, we were about to pick tonight’s genre!” Olivia snatches the tray from Mobius’ hand, setting it on the buffet table. “Yeah? What are the options? And for the love of the Gods, don’t tell me there’s horror on the list, I’m not playing ‘Snakes and Ladders’ in the corner with Miss Minutes again. No offense, but I’d rather hang out with everyone, rather than sit in the corner for almost two hours.” Oliver smiles and elbows Olivia in the arm, dropping their pile of blankets next to the table.

“I am pleased to inform you that we have comedy or adventure as our picks tonight! Votes starting with Ravonna, as always,” B-15 chimes in, cutting Olivia off before she could retort.

“Comedy,” Ravonna starts.

“I think I’d like adventure,” says Casey.

“Ditto, on the adventure,” from Mobius.

“Comedy,” Sylvie and Loki respond, in unison.

“Adventure!” Olivia exclaims, striking a rather piratey pose.

“Adventure for me too, hon,” Miss Minutes nods to the hunter.

“And comedy for me,” B-15 notes.

“Oliver, that leaves you as the tiebreaker. Chose carefully,” Mobius teases.

“Well... I think I’ll pick… adventure?” Oliver answers, earning groans from half of the group and cheers from the other half.

Olivia, quite literally jumping with joy, just about tackles Oliver with a hug. “I knew I could count on you! Unlike those weirdos over there,” Olivia sticks her tongue out at Loki and Sylvie, earning an amused chuckle from Loki.

Mobius waves Ravonna over, talking to her in hushed tones, as to not disrupt the rest of the group. “Ravonna, I still think we should get one of those popcorn machines for these movie night sleepover things.. It isn’t fair to Oliver that they have to run back and forth whenever we want popcorn.”

“Mobius… it’s already hard enough to hide all of these blankets and the table and, well… everything. I just don’t know where we would put the popcorn maker. On top of that, none of us would even know how to use it!”

“Well, it can’t be that hard to figure out, I’ve seen kids on Earth use them and it’s gone fine for them!” Mobius argues.

“I’ll… I’ll think about it, okay? Just.. Don’t get your hopes up,” Ravonna sighs, waving Mobius off.

The projector boots up, and with a flicker of golden hues, the title screen for ‘The Mummy’ appears, earning a cheer from Oliver, who is wrapped up in a white comforter with a plate of various snacks in their lap.

“What? This movie was my bisexual awakening, it holds a special place in my heart because of it,” they defend, albeit through a mouthful of brownie.

“Nobody was judging you, Oliver, we were just a little...surprised,” Sylvie responds, snuggling closer to Olivia.

“You know what else is surprising? The fact that you three haven’t run off to a broom closet yet,” B-15 interrupts.

“Yeah, well, at least Oliver isn’t climbing over me yet,” Mobius teases.

“Wait, has nobody told you? Yeah, when you’re asleep, you end up snuggled with Mobius, no matter where in the room you are,” Olivia adds, rather suggestively.

“W-Well, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation! Uh.. yeah.. an explanation…” Oliver mutters, flustered and embarrassed.

“Hey, nobody said they were bothered. I’m certainly not. There’s no need to stress over it,” Mobius adds, trying his best to be comforting.

B-15 shushes the group as the opening scene starts, the room bathed in golden hues.

Halfway through the movie, Oliver is already asleep, curled up with three or four pillows and a mountain of blankets, as well as a green cactus plushie. Ravonna is the only thing between Loki and Sylvie staking piles of Cheez-Its on their face, and Casey and B-15 are quietly chatting about the movie so far. Olivia is laying on her stomach, the blanket over her slightly askew, and Mobius is up getting more snacks.

“You really are a bottomless pit, aren’t you Moby Dick?” Olivia jokes. The nickname ‘Moby Dick’ caught on when Olivia showed up to the TVA and used it to poke fun at the analyst. After that, it stuck and is just a bit of fun.

“Yeah, well you kinda eat whatever you can when you live off the food here. Ollie’s baking is a real treat, so I’m enjoying it while I can,” Mobius retorts, stacking his plate with chips and the last of the brownies.

“Loki, Sylvie, stop it. Oliver isn’t gonna be happy when they go home and their cat is licking their face when they smell like Cheez-Its,” Ravonna whisper-yells at the pair as she throws a pillow and nails Sylvie in the face.

“Oh, I see how it is, old lady. It’s on!” Sylvie grabs the pillow and climbs over Oliver, running for Ravonna. “Pillow fiiiiiight!”

Oliver sits up and rubs the sleep from their eyes, almost immediately getting hit in the face with a pillow thrown by Mobius. “Oh so suddenly I’m not your favorite, Moby? I’ll just take those brownies back!” They grab their cactus plush and chuck it at the analyst, ducking with a squeal of surprise as another pillow flies past their head.

“Nobody decks Mobius like that except for me!” B-15 shouts, standing over a mountain of pillows.

“Hey, that’s not cool! You can’t hog the pillows!” Casey protests, ducking behind the food table.

“Well neither is teaming up, but us three already have!” Olivia announces, using Loki and Sylvie as shields to avoid getting hit with a pillow from Ravonna.

“Oh come on! That would’ve hit you!”

“Moby! Catch!” as Oliver chucks a couple of pillows in rapid succession. “You’ll never win! Not against me!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, hon,” Miss Minutes pops up next to Oliver and whacks them in the arm with a decorative pillow, a distinct rip heard through the room as stuffing flies.

“Oh. My. Gods. You’re so dead!” Sylvie shouts with a smile, and suddenly, alarms are blaring. Ravonna fishes through the pockets in her pajamas for her TemPad.

With a sigh of relief, she announces to the group, “It’s not an emergency, but I’m going to need to borrow you two for a bit,” she says, nodding to Mobius and B-15.

“Let’s make it a group trip since it isn’t an emergency!” Olivia proposes, earning a groan of disapproval from Ravonna and B-15, almost in unison.

“Olivia, we’ve been over this. Oliver isn’t allowed anywhere else in the TVA, other than here and the bathroom. If anything were to happen to them, I’d be the one to blame, and I’m not taking that risk.”

“Ravonna’s right, it’s a miracle that having Ollie here hasn’t created a Nexus event yet. Who knows what would happen if something went wrong,” Mobius reasons.

With a reluctant sigh, Oliver, Olivia, Loki, Sylvie, and Casey settle back into their respective blanket piles and finish the movie while B-15, Ravonna, and Mobius run off to handle the cause of the alarms.

#mobius #loki 2021 #loki #sylvie #ravonna renslayer #b-15 #loki x oc x sylvie #self insert #queer #lgbtq

[hopelesslyfallenninlove]

Never Thought It Would Be You ~ A Cordelia Goode x Fem! Reader Part 4

I am quick to go to bed after that encounter with Cordelia and making food for those kids. The next morning I do the same routine; make breakfast, go clean the greenhouse, water the plants, then go inside have a cup of coffee while listening to what ever one of the girls want to talk about. Today was a holiday so we didn’t have any classes, which I’m relieved about because I’m sure I would not be able to stand one of Cordelias classes after what had happen. It’s about 9am and I just finished cleaning the kitchen, when I decide to try and see if there was a forget spell. I can’t handle Cordelia knowing the truth but I don’t think I’m powerful enough to do a spell. I finally find one and just as I find it Cordelia is behind me and says “Y/N why are you looking at forgetting spells? You not going to try to do that tome are you?” She asks with such a sad smile on her face, Cordelia reaches and grabs the book from my hands.

“Miss. Goode....... I was just reading about it I wasn’t going to do anything with it. Why would I do that to my supreme?” I say trying to think of an excuse, but also trying to get out of here as fast as possible.

“Y/n, I know you’re lying. What happened yesterday is embarrassing but also means so much and we should talk about it. Sweet girl we need to talk about it. I...-“ just as Cordelia was about to reach for my cheek the door swings open and in walks an excited Zoe, we both look over to her.

“The neighbors are have fireworks later today, y/n we should have a little cookout in the grill. We need stuff from the store though right?” Zoe asks me and starts to drag me out already mowing the answer before I can say anything.

“Yes we do need stuff, we need hamburgers, brats, hotdogs, stuff to make potato salad some beans maybe. Would you like to go to the store with me?” I ask hoping she agrees so I don’t have to walk back with the bags myself .

“Yes as long as I can get my favorite candy?” Zoe says with a pouty look, knowing I can’t resist it.

“Yes of course, let’s go.” I say with a slight chuckle. With that we walk to the store and start grabbing all the supplies. While walking around you can’t help but thank all the gods for sending Zoe in to take you away from such an uncomfortable situation. Once everything is bought you both head home.

“So...... what was up with you and Cordelia? You looked really uncomfortable and just like you wanted to leave?” Zoe asks with concern, hope she didn’t overstep the boundary.

“Oh.... if I tell you you can’t tell anyone.” You say really wanting so,some to talk to and hoping Zoe will be the one.

“Of course y/n, whatever it is will stay between us and only us.” Zoe says with an encouraging smile and a slight squeeze to the shoulder.

“Okay, ..... last night Miss.Goode woke me up.... however before she did I was having a certain dream, if you know what I mean, and I was apparently saying her name while I was sleeping and making noises.” I look over at Zoe to gage her reaction and Zoe just nodded encouraging me to continue. “So I wanted to make her forget about that because it’s embarrassing and she is not supposed to know that I have a huge freaking crush on her, but now she does and I can’t even do the spell. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I can’t even be in the same room as her without wishing the earth would just swallow me up.” Zoe reaches up and wipes a tear away I didn’t even know I had.

“Y/n, just talk to her. She might like you back you never know and yes this is not how you wanted her to know but it is. Don’t run from the talk and just express your thoughts and feelings.” Zoe has a bright smile like she knows something I don’t and by the time that is said we are home and heading to the kitchen. “Do you need any help?”

“No I’m good, and thank you I really appreciate it.” I give Zoe a smile and start working on the potato salad.

“Anytime y/n, I’m always here for you.” Zoe walks away and I’m left to my thoughts and making the food alone. Time has flown by and before you know it it’s already 5pm and time to cook the burgers and such. I go out side and light the grill, and start cooking. Misty comes out and we are talking about certian plants with healing qualities, Malory soon joins us and her and Misty walk to the green house to look at the plants. I finish up with the food and call the neighbors over and everyone that the food is ready. I have a burger and some potato salad, hopefully everyone will like it I haven’t grilled for anyone yet which is surprising.

The time is now 8pm dark enough for fireworks, (start listening to the song now/if you want to) we all set blankets up and watch as the first ones go off with big booms. I start to think about Cordelia and how I don’t know if I can take the heartbreak with this one, I think she might be it. I was nothing without her and now I’m whole. Before I knew Cordelia I was always alone, I always felt like something was missing like I was broken. I was just a ship waiting to crash, and now I have a family I have a purpose and I’m content here. If Cordelia tells me she doesn’t want me her anymore because of the confession, I think I will wilt away, I’m just a half without her. When it’s just me and Cordelia before all the confusing things recently I felt like we were fireworks, I felt like I had finally found my purpose. She puts the melody in my heart, she makes me feel safe and is home. Those beautiful eyes her golden hair, she’s the one my soulmate. As I’m deep in my thoughts I don’t even notice Cordelia coming up to me and sitting right next to me. “Hey y/n can we talk please?” Cordelia asks with hope and was looks like she scared in her eyes.

“Yeah I think we should, let’s go in the kitchen.” I get up and help her up, we walk in the kitchen and I can tell Cordelia is really nervous she’s picking at her fingers. “It’s okay Cordelia, whatever happens I’ll still be here.” I give her my best smile. “Cordelia I need to just say it, you are the one I think is for me. I really like you, hell I’m in love with you, when I met you I had nothing, no family, no home, no hope. Since I met you I gained all of those things, I never thought I’d have any of those. I was broken, never believed anyone could put my pieces back and give me something to look forward to and to always have somewhere to go. When I’m with you my whole world feel brighter, feels whole, I feel like I could quite literally do anything. I never ever thought in a million years that I’d have a soulmate and let alone I never thought it would be you. Oh how I’m so very happy it Is you and not someone else, I can’t see my life with anyone else but you. You are so beautiful in and out, you have a heart of gold Cordelia Goode and that heart deserves to be looked at and cared for, now weather you have feelings for me or not I will still be here taking care if that heart and you. I will always be here Cordelia Goode.” I dint know at which point I started crying but I somehow am. I look at Cordelia waiting for her to say something and when she doesn’t I lose hope of her liking me back, but that is okay I meant it when I said I’ll still be here.

“It’s about damn time you said that love, I was beginning to think this was all in my head. I knew 1yr and 3months of you being here that you my dear are my soulmate. The only one for me, I’m in love with you y/n.” With that being said Cordelia grabs me with both hands and kisses me like I will disappear tomorrow, as soon as our lips touch there is a firework that goes off and it is in the shape of a heart.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Let me know what you think. I know I kept going from 1st person to 2nd person that is something I will be working on. If anyone has a suggestion please let me know or if you have a print in mind. Also if want any more parts to this series let me know. The next one will be about Billie Dean Howard. Anyways thank you for reading, I wasn’t sure anyone would read these or even like them. I mainly use this as a creative outlet, anyways thank you again and have a goodnight/day :)

#lgbt #cordelia goode x reader #ahs x reader #ahs coven #sarah paulson x reader #Spotify

[maxwell-grant]

Having seen your thoughts on his deeply-unpleasant daddy, might I please ask if you have any thoughts on The Gladiator himself, Hugo Danner? (THE SUPERMAN WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN, if you will).

What would you do if you were the strongest man in the world, the strongest thing in the world, mightier than the machine? He made himself guess answers for that rhetorical query. "I would—I would have won the war. But I did not. I would run the universe single-handed. Literally single-handed. I would scorn the universe and turn it to my own ends. I would be a criminal. I would rip open banks and gut them. I would kill and destroy. I would be a secret, invisible blight. I would set out to stamp crime off the earth; I would be a super-detective, following and summarily punishing every criminal until no one dared to commit a felony. What would I do? What will I do?"

The thing that strikes me about Gladiator is that it almost feels like the book is unfinished. The quality and pace of the book is all over the place, but you can boil it's general story down to "unlucky bastard is born Superman before it's time for Superman to exist, without the necessary support, mindset and structure to become Superman, in a world that neither supports nor accepts the existence Superman, and just as he's about to have the life-changing epiphany that could make him something, he gets struck by lightning and dies in the 2nd-to-last paragraph".

The whole book is like if in the first Spider-Man story Peter Parker just gave up after Uncle Ben died and we never saw him again. It's a superhero/supervillain origin story that gets cut short right as it's about to lead to the birth of the character proper. It's frustrating, yes, but to my scavenger goblin brain that likes to dig through pop culture's trash to find nice forgotten trinkets to polish and make into something new, it also invites a lot of promise, if we get into the question of what could have happened to Hugo Danner if he didn't die on the cusp of his origin story. It's an idea I plan to use for my own pulp writings.

It's not so much whether or not Hugo MIGHT have been Superman, so much as: COULD he be Superman? Maybe, maybe not. I'd argue not, because even with all his power, and even with his parents trying to raise him as best they could, even with Hugo genuinely trying his best to be good and heroic and turn his gifts to mankind, it wasn't gonna pan out. The right pieces weren't there, the family structure wasn't there, the necessary aspects of the origin story weren't there, and ultimately, Hugo Danner wasn't cut for it. He is a failure at everything he tries to be super at.

At college on the football field, he kills a man. As a soldier on the Great War, he slaughters thousands for years, but fails to end the war, despite having been able to do so from the moment he enlisted. He is fired from a steel mill for working too far beyond the abilities of his fellows, and then fired from a bank for freeing a man from a locked safe, because the bank president suspected that Danner planned to use his powers to rob the vault. He tries using his powers to enact social change and fails again and again. He can't even enjoy daily life, because he cannot compete fairly with ordinary people, and because of that he must constantly hold himself in check, never able to fully express himself. And when he's presented with the idea of creating a race of people like him to dominate the world and to “conquer and stamp out all these things to which men of intelligence object,” he finds it ultimately distasteful, because he knows better than to expect good things to come out of his life. And then he curses God and dies. The whole book is one long argument as to why Being Superman Sucks.

He's not the break from tradition that Superman represented, he's a sci-fi superman who met the same tragic ending his predecessors did. In that paragraph above, the very first thing he thinks about, after remarking over his failure to end the war, is thinking about becoming some galactic dictator murdering everyone who steps out of line, before he considers becoming a fascist super-detective. Kind of a damning perspective to present your hero, isn't it? If Gladiator was released today, exactly as is, people would be quick to assume it's an origin story for a Homelander/Plutonian/Omni-Man kind of character. Hugo Danner was a Superman deconstruction before that became a pop culture cliche.

My favorite sections of the book are those that describe Hugo in the war. By far the best-written and most evocative, almost bordering on horror story. And they may be the most damning sections of them all. He never forgives himself for not ending the war when he could, because he's spent all those years killing and toiling away when he was just about the one person who could conceivably leap all the way to Germany and force the war to end. I imagine a lot of pulp heroes who suffered in the war, or any war, and walked out of it with a resolve to protect and do good by others, would be pretty pissed when discovering that, all along, there was this living god among them who actually could have ended the war single-handedly, but was just too damn busy slaughtering his way through fields of people who couldn't possibly fight back, to think about it.

And for all that Hugo says that he hates war and murder and bloodshed, he sure seems like a total natural for it:

Hugo, out of his scarlet fury, had one glimpse of his antagonist's face and person. The glimpse was but a flash. He was a little man—a foot shorter than Hugo. His eyes looked out from under his helmet with a sort of pathetic earnestness. And he was worried, horribly worried, standing there with his rifle lifted and trying to remember the precise technique of what would follow even while he fought back the realization that it was hopeless.

In that split second Hugo felt a human, amazing urge to tell him that it was all right, and that he ought to hold his bayonet a little higher and come forward a bit faster. The image faded back to an enemy. Hugo acted mechanically from the rituals of drill. His own knife flashed. He saw the man's clothes part smoothly from his bowels, where the point had been inserted, up to the gray-green collar. The seam reddened, gushed blood, and a length of intestine slipped out of it.

Hugo stepped over him. He was trembling and nauseated. The bellow of battle returned to Hugo's ears. He pushed back the threatening rifle easily and caught the neck in one hand, crushing it to a wet, sticky handful. So he walked through the trench, a machine that killed quickly and remorselessly

Hugo was learning about war. He thought then that the task which he had set for himself was not altogether to his liking. There should be other and more important things for him to do. He did not like to slaughter individuals. The day passed like a cycle in hell. No change in the personnel except that made by an occasional death. No food. No water. They seemed to be exiled by their countrymen in a pool of fire and famine and destruction.

And then later, after they kill a friend of his

He leaped to the parapet, shaking his fists. "God damn you dirty sons of bitches. I'll make you pay for this. You got him, got him, you bastards! I'll shove your filthy hides down the devil's throat and through his guts". He did not feel the frantic tugging of his fellows. He ran into that bubbling, doom-ridden chaos, waving his arms and shouting maniacal profanities. A dozen times he was knocked down. He bled slowly where fragments had battered him. He crossed over and paused on the German parapet. He was like a being of steel. Barbed wire trailed behind him.

Bayonets rose. Hugo wrenched three knives from their wielders in one wild clutch. His hands went out, snatching and squeezing. That was all. No weapons, no defence. Just—hands. Whatever they caught they crushed flat, and heads fell into those dreadful fingers, sides, legs, arms, bellies. Bayonets slid from his tawny skin, taking his clothes. By and by, except for his shoes, he was naked. His fingers had made a hundred bunches of clotted pulp and then a thousand as he walked swiftly forward in that trench. Ahead of him was a file of green; behind, a clogged row of writhing men. Scarcely did the occupants of each new traverse see him before they were smitten. The wounds he inflicted were monstrous. On he walked, his voice now stilled, his breath sucking and whistling through his teeth, his hands flailing and pinching and spurting red with every contact. No more formidable engine of desolation had been seen by man, no more titanic fury, no swifter and surer death. For thirty minutes he raged through that line. The men thinned. He had crossed the attacking front.

A man dipped in scarlet, nude, dripping, panting. Slowly in that hiatus he wheeled. His lungs thundered to the French. "Come on, you black bastards. I've killed them all. Come on. We'll send them down to hell."

And years later, when he's thinking back to the misery that had been his life:

His deeds frightened men or made them jealous. When he conceived a fine thing, the masses, individually or collectively, transformed it into something cheap. His fort in the forest had been branded a hoax. His effort to send himself through college and to rescue Charlotte from an unpleasant life had ended in vulgar comedy. Even that had been her triumph, her hour, and an incongruous strain of greatness had filtered through her personality rather than his. Now his years in the war were reduced to no grandeur, to a mere outlet for his savage instinct to destroy. After such a life, he reflected, he could no longer visualize himself engaged in any search for a comprehension of real values.

If he could but have ended the war single-handed, it might have been different. But he was not great enough for that. He had been a thousand men, perhaps ten thousand, but he could not be millions. He could not wrap his arms around a continent and squeeze it into submission. There were too many people, and they were too stupid to do more than fear him and hate him. Sitting there, he realized that his naïve faith in himself and the universe had foundered. The war was only another war that future generations would find romantic to contemplate and dull to study. He was only a species of genius who had missed his mark by a cosmic margin.

Even when he's thinking about the places where he went wrong, that he blames himself for, even when's engaged in introspection, his thoughts still gravitate towards violence and hatred, of squeezing continents into submission and of how much the masses are stupid to not appreciate him (because really, all Hugo wants is to be loved and appreciated for what he is), and how unlucky he was to miss his mark.

There's just no place for Hugo Danner. Maybe it was actually rather merciful that he got to have his misery ended briefly by lightning strikes, before he could either turn into something worse, or have his life ruined more throughly.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #gladiator #hugo danner #superman

[leiasfanaccount648]

Iwaizumi with a Childish S/O

Pairing: Hajime Iwaizumi x GN!Reader

Genere: Tooth Rotting and Heart Wrenching Fluff

A/N: This started as one thing and then I ended up adding more and it turned into another thing lmao. Also shoutout to @briswriting for believing in me ily. Hope you all enjoy! :)

Warnings/Contains: Maybe a curse word, literally this is all just tooth rotting fluff.

You and Iwaizumi started dating in your first year while he was in his second.

Some people are shocked to hear that you two are dating due to your “contrasting” personalities, but he can care less about what they think and will tell them off if they overstep.

He first met you in the library and he couldn’t help but find the way you were trying to study/focus on your textbook cute.

Like you’re staring at it with such frustration and urge learn the material but you can’t as you just don’t understand why the hell you need to know the anatomy of different reptiles when you know that you won’t remember any of it next month.

And then there’s Iwa’s looking at you from the bookshelf he was originally trying to find a book in.

He immediately feels embarrassed and a little guilty for staring after you’ve caught him and he clears his throat before walking over to you.

“Hey, uh, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to-“

“Do you know anything about reptiles?”

He’s confused at your sudden question, not sure if he heard you right. “I’m sorry?”

“Please, I have a test tomorrow and I’m nowhere near prepared.”

Luckily for you, dear ol’ Iwaizumi Hajime had learned and memorized so many facts from when he was obsessing over Godzilla back in middle school (and let’s be honest, he still loves the big guy)

After that you aced your test, you offered to treat him to boba, which he was at first going to declined (as he feel like he didn’t deserve it) until Oikawa said that he should “take the opportunity while the people still want him and not his best friend”

You were shocked to see Iwa smack the back of the famed Oikawa Tooru’s head, but he later reassured you during your boba session that that was a daily occurance.

Anyway, one of the things that Iwa likes about you the most is how easy going you are compared to his normal and quite hectic life.

I mean, he’s already worn out from homework, practice, and dealing with Oikawa; but that all goes away once you invite him over to watch a Disney movie that you couldn’t get out of your head all day.

He also loves it when you guys bake or cook anything together.

Talking random nonsense, flinging/smearing ingredients on one another’s faces, dancing in the kitchen while the food cooks, etc.

However he’ll have to guide you back down to earth when the recipe is too complicated or even life threatening.

“Iwa! I found a recipe for a blackberry smoothie I wanna try!”

“But, (y/n), you’re allergic to blackberries.”

“And your point is?”

However, he knew he was in love with you when he had a particularly rough day and you had invited him over to hang out for the rest of the evening.

He was assuming to see Disney+ ready to go on the tv, your and his favorite snacks laid out along the coffee table; and best of all, you on the couch with blankets and pillows in one of his volleyball tshirts and your Powerpuff Girls pj shorts.

Instead, the snacks were set up, as well as the pillows and blankets, but you were nowhere in sight.

“(y/n)? I’m here. Where are you?”

Then he heard music, but it wasn’t what you usually listened to, or what was even played on the radio. He couldn’t pinpoint where it was from, but it sounded familiar.

However he had no time to think as he saw a figure come out of your room from the other end of the dark hallway where he stood.

“(y/n)?”

“No! It is I!” You turned on the hallways lights. “Godzilla!”

You were dressed up in a green onesie, and Iwa couldn’t tell what you actually were until he saw the dinosaur hood atop your head and the tail behind your legs. He then heard the music grow in volume and it was then that he recognized the song.

The Pirates of the Caribbean theme.

He didn’t know how to respond, as he didn’t want to laugh due to you picking the wrong music, but you didn’t even give him the chance to.

“And I’m here to attack and destroy any that come into my land!”

You ran after him, phone in hand as it still played the (wrong) music. Out of instinct he ran away and made haste towards your kitchen.

Once you were stopped in the archway trying to see where he was hid, he sneaked up behind you and picked you up by your waist.

“I‘ve caught the great Godzilla!”

The two of you laughed, you more so him as your original plan to chase him around the apartment backfired but you didn’t care.

When he finally let you down, he just had to ask as you were pausing the music. “Why did you play the wrong movie theme?”

“I did?”

“Yeah.”

“The YouTube video had a picture of the movie poster so I assumed it was the right one.”

God you were so cute.

“But why did you dress up like a dinosaur?”

“Correction,” you eyed him playfully, pointing at his nose to let him know you were serious, “I’m Godzilla.”

He chuckled and moved the hood back so he could get a better look at your face as you explained.

“And I’m dressed up because you said you had a bad day and I wanted to make you feel better. So,” she took his hand and led him back into the living room before turning on the tv. “I figured why not watch surprise you as Godzilla before we watch it since I’ve never seen it!”

Iwa looked at you, once again unsure of what to say. You were perfect in more ways than one, but he didn’t have the words to express it.

Instead, he gave you a sweet and gentle kiss before pulling away so he could look you in the eye. You swear you’ve never seen someone’s eyes dilate so much.

“I love you.”

You stared at him as you took in the information, glancing down at your feet before smiling at him.

“I love you, too, but you’re standing on my tail.”

Iwa lifted his foot and looked down to see that he was, in fact, standing on the tail of your onesie.

You led him towards the couch. “You’re gonna have to pay Godzilla back by cuddling them on the couch the whole movie.”

“I don’t think that’s much of a punishment, (y/n).” He laughed as you had him lay down first before snuggling yourself into his arms.

“Shut up and cuddle me.”

#iwazumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime imagine #iwaizumi headcanons #haikyuu iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi scenarios #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi imagine #hajime x reader #seijoh #seijoh third years #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #hq x reader #hq fanfic #hq fic #hq fluff #my post #my writing #my work

[tintentrinkerin]

Cathartic Arrest

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Characters: Michael (Supernatural), Minor Characters

Additional Tags: Post-Hell Dean Winchester, Post-Lucifer’s Cage Sam Winchester, Dubious Consent, Caning, Codependent Winchesters (Supernatural), It’s all about inflicting and receiving punishment, Jealousy

Summary: ”Sam needs to cope with memories of Lucifer’s abuse. Dean is still trying to cope with this time as torture Master in Hell.

And he’s JEALOUS.”

Word Count 1,793

READ HERE OR ON AO3

Sam was still shaking when he got back to the bunker. He had taken his time before he came back home, but still. This time, it had all been different. She had to help him back into his pants, his shirt, even tuck his shirt in, help him ground himself; when he still didn’t come down from what just happened, she made him sit in her “calm room” as she called it. 

She gave him food, good food. Fruits. Pineapple, strawberries, vanilla infused yoghurt. Juices of passion fruit and apples, bread with butter and some lean chicken tenders. He could choose whatever music he wanted, but all he ever would choose was hard rock – the music of his childhood, part of his youth and part of Dean. The music in his ears, usually is of a different, much more intense nature. He’d tried pop. One Direction. Too happy. He’d tried Nu Metal. He was too old to bounce back into his emo stage, also known as his years at Stanford. He had tried all kinds of metal. Trash, Death, Melodic, Symphonic. Nightwish. Later Aesthetic Perfection. All good music, quality wise. But nothing was ever louder than the noises in his head. The crying of baby Sam Winchester, inner-child Sam Winchester. Traumatized and angry and helpless. 

Only the noise of a cane meeting his skin, his ass, his legs, even his feet, his own painful cries, the muffled grunts, the thank you’s and the yes'es, the reenactment of his shame, would silence the child. It’d been rough today. The wax on his chest left pink swollen spots, the cane beat him bloody this time.

“I can stop, aye?” she said. 

“No, Mistress. Don’t. I want it to bleed.”

She’s not his Domme and he’s not her slave. He isn’t that twisted in his mind to reenact the power exchange, his own powerlessness. Michael watching. Michael. That god forsaken coward.

Sam was still shaking when he started Baby’s engine, slowly rolling away from the place he visits when pressing on his scar stops working. And it’s been working less and less and less. Until nothing else will help but being beaten up by someone to finally overcome the pain, the helplessness, the feeling of being weak and useless. Sam Winchester might be broken, but he still can take a beating without crying.

Dean hates liars. Which is kind of, let’s say  hypocritical, given his nature, his past. He lied to Sam about hell, he lied about the deal, he constantly lies to the only person who will probably never leave him. Because even if Sam does leave, he always comes back. He won’t even die for good. Dean doesn’t, Sam doesn’t. They’re here, two moons in this earth’s gravitational pull, doomed to circle each other; the forces of nature keeping them in place but always keeping them apart. 

It's one of those days when Sam says he’s about to go jogging, but since when does he have to drive fifty miles to some secluded forest area to jog when they're in the literal middle of nowhere? Dean has seen Sam in the showers. They have their privacy here, both want that or pretend to, but the showers are group showers, long lines of shower heads like in school gyms. They usually lock the doors, so why, this one time, does Sam not lock himself up like he used to? Dean knows about the nightmares, the triggers, the sudden flashbacks and the pressing of Sam’s thumb against the palm of his cut hand. He noticed cuts, deep cuts around Sam’s wrists, that never heal because he keeps on scratching off the scab. The bleeding never stops. 

Dean decides that today, enough is enough. He knows this trauma, he was in Hell too. He tortured innocent people, he tortured Bela fucking Talbot. A woman he really respected in the end, though he sugar coated it with cunt-y behaviour. He’s seen so many faces twisted in pain and agony – and all they do in the end? – cry for mama. They cry for their fucking mother, and Sam? Dean wonders who he cried for in the Cage?

Sam is packed up in his “jogging outfit” and he’s about to leave, when Dean gets up from his armchair in the library.

“Where ya goin’, Sammy?”

He jumps.

“Jesus, don’t scare me, man. Really? I’m going jogging.”

“There’s a whole ass forest in front of the batcave, Sam. Why not go there?”

Sam looks down and Dean knows, he’s angry. He’s angry because Dean caught him in his damn lie and there’s no good way out of it.

“I have a jogging buddy over there,” Sam clears his throat, his whole body is tense. Ready to run. Wherever.

“Ah, jogging buddy, I see. Lemme guess, their name is Mistress Lana and he looks bomb in tracksuits.”

Sam is about to erupt and he grows, his posture straightens and he yells. “This is private Dean, you have no, absolutely NO right to spy after me like a--”

“Like a what?”

“Like a fucking jealous wife who caught me in an affair?”

Dean falls silent, but his body, pure, condensed power, anger, fear, slams his arm against Sam’s throat and presses him to the wall. 

“It is exactly like that. You drive an hour to see a dominatrix, to what? You become a subby bootlicker all of a sudden? You like that?”

Sam’s nostrils flare and damn, now Dean is on freakin’ thin ice. He is so goddamn jealous of this woman giving Sam something that Dean would give him freely. And happily. He would give him the relief he needs. 

“Don’t talk like that!” Sam hisses, trying to wind himself out of Dean’s grip but he’s still sore from the last time Lana tied him up like a Christmas present and hung him on the wall like a pig-half at the butcher’s. Sam loved the marks of the rough rope, loved the feeling of just hanging there, floating, the ground beneath him so far away, the rock bottom so far…“You have no idea how I feel!”

Dean’s head tilts to the side. “I tortured people in Hell, Sam. I know how to make you feel the worst pain of your life – but I can also give you the greatest relief. I can show you mercy, because that’s what you really want. Isn’t it?”

Sam finally breaks free and attacks Dean, one hit after another, breaks Dean’s nose, gives him a black eye, and it only stops when Dean lands a blow right over Sam’s kidney – he staggers back. 

“I deserve the pain,” Sam wheezes. “I don’t rely on anyone’s mercy.”

Dean drags him up and brings Sam, who is suddenly so pliant, to his room. What no one has ever known about is the secret door. Dean’s not a witch, Sam would be a great one, but Dean managed to hide a tiny little torture chamber behind his room. Sam fights,  he insults Dean. Dean knows, yes he knows, it’s Sam’s way of provoking him and, kind of, making Dean stop. 

Sam knows that, when he came back from Hell, Dean fucked around even more than before he’d died –but no one ever saw him with the girls, the submissive ones, the broken little dolls he found. This is Deam’s coping. Reenacting Hell.

Sam clings on to Dean when he’s tied to the bench, naked. Sam is still black and blue, some of his bruises had turned green-yellowish already but no one should hurt him there again. These bruises would take ages to heal, if they’re lucky, without a doctor needed. Sam isn’t fighting anymore, he’s crying.

“Please Dean, take it off of me. Please… I can’t… Take it OFF!”

“I can’t”, Dean says, gently, brushing away Sam’s tears.“Does she fuck you?”

A gasp. “What? Why--?”

“Simple question, Sammy. Does. She. Fuck you?”

Sam nods, hiding his face in his hair and pressing his forehead against the padding.

“I can’t spank you in this condition. You have to heal. Why would you go to that woman when you’re still so roughed up?”

“Why do you care?”Sam’s voice is so thin. Little, scared Sammy, and there was no one in the Cage to save him from what happened. 

“Sammy.” Is all Dean says.

“My Sammy.”

Dean is not like that. He loves Sammy, and he would do a lot, but he won’t do That.

Dean’s favorite is his cane. Rattan. Unpeeled. Sam endures several hard blows, in a staccato, a rhythm other people would faint from. But Sammy is strong, and he wants to be broken.

HE

WANTS

TO 

BE

BROKEN

And Dean is giving him that. He can think of the girls and boys in Hell while doing it, like he’s not the one inflicting this pain on Sam, but it feels so damn good. Purging. Sam’s cries and whimpers, his yells and finally, finally, when Dean is about to lose control and maul Sam alive – there’s the one Sammy would cry for.

“Dean.”

A gasp. The blows stop. Blood dripping down Sam’s legs. 

“Dean.”

Again.

“Sammy..”

So gentle. So tender. So silent. 

“Dean, I want to go home….” and that is truly when Sam is broken, the last bastion of his mind, his pride, his goddamn pride is stripped from him. He babbles, he cries, snot and tears and gulps, he even chokes on his cries. “I want to be home with Dean, please hold me, Dean, take me home, Dean…”

Dean dissolves. His own trauma resolves for a minute. He knows, it will never fully go away, he will never heal. But.

“Sammy. I’m here, Sammy. Come here. I’ll take you home, my baby brother. I’m here.”

“Dean, I love you”, Sam chokes out. It could be anything. It could be nothing.

“Sammy, I love you more.”

Dean leans onto Sam’s heaving, still tied up body, sweat and blood, tears, the sobs. When Dean releases Sam from the restraints and carries him to a sofa, he huddles up in Dean's lap. Like a newborn. Overwhelmed with the world outside, sobbing and crying for Dean. Dean is here, holding him tight. Offering him water and more blankets.

Lucifer has never been closer, but Dean has blown him away from Sam. He made Sam just forget for a while. It’s so fucked up, but he can live with fucked up. As long as it’s with Sam and Sam never, fucking never, goes to a whore again when he can have everything from Dean.

Dean will do anything for Sam. 

“Dean…”

“I’m here. You’re home.”

»And I will never let you go.«

@laxe-chester67 @deanking @vulgar-library @writethelifeyouwant @itsabookishblog @schaefchenherde @sacrificialtendencies @cloudesworld @all-4-wincest @ohnoitsthebat @rpsocsandcanonohmy @stemroses @nightmarecait @lostmykiliel @alexa-alcantara @wincestismyheart @closetedshippers @dragonardhill @alex-is-a-gay-human

IF YOU WANT TO BE INCLUDED IN MY MAILING LISTS, SHOOT ME A MESSAGE <3

#wincest #sam and dean #hell trauma #cage trauma #sin is sinning

[of-faunsandyellowflowers]

Hello! I saw that you posted about working with Cernunnos, and I'm interested in working with him honestly, but there's one problem. I'm Chronically Ill, and have been bed bound almost all day, so I'm worried about how good of a devotee I can be when fatigued or depressed. Do you think Cernunnos would be alright with a Chronically Ill follower, and how he might even be able to help? And do you have any ideas for how to worship him while having little energy? Thanks so much, I appreciate it!

Hi! I get this question a lot from people actually. I'll post this one publically so ppl can see. This is going to be long! I apologize for that.

First and foremost: disabilities/chronic illness are NOT an issue for most deities/spirits that help guide is. There are some who are very old and quite unwilling to interact with humans due to past grievances or trauma that these souls have endured, but it's not a disability thing.

This is something that many many many of us here on earth experience (myself included, I am autistic with adhd, major depressive disorder, PTSD and major anxiety alongside IBS, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I get this question a lot, and I've had this question myself.

Cernunnos (link to my long post about it which also mentions this) actually has a soft spot for chronically ill people and adores helping comfort them and bringing them guidance. You do not need to worry about this being a burden within your work. Theres SO many ways to practice magick, ritual, meditation and be a devotee to a god even when this way. I'm a dark forest/green witch (non wiccan) and I'm also a kitchen witch. These forms of magick bring me the most comfort and work best for me. Find the types you are drawn to, and incorporate them into your day. It doesnt need to be big. Divination, for example, is a good way to communicate with your gods when you are unable to meditate. Little things are just as impactful as the large ones and require minimal effort. Make tea with certain ingredients and enchant a spell for it....etc.

The first piece of advice I can give you is to get yourself into the mindset that you are, and shall always be good enough for a god to help guide you. This will not only raise your vibrations but will also set you on the path that you need to be. I fall back on this sometimes. This doesnt mean become conceited. We still need to show respect to these divine beings and when they offer guidance, be nice. DO NOT demand things.

Second, meditation is INCREDIBLE. it does NOT need to be some in depth 'find your soul' type meditation. With adhd, I have an awful time trying to concentrate. One thing Cernunnos has told me is that I must take my own time, and be patient. Even 5 min a day helps. Meditation opens you up to spirit more, grounds you, and makes it easier to do spirit work the more you do it and the longer tou do it. It is also VERY good way to cope with disabilities as it calms our mind down as well as body.

Third, grounding is 100% needed. This is why I mention meditation, through this you can learn to ground. Grounding is an exercise which literally 'grounds' your soul into your body, calming you and giving you a better base for when you start doing more magick. It's very easy to learn and takes minimal effort.

4th, learn divination. This can be tarot, oracle, pendulum...whatever YOU feel is best. This is the way I normally talk to Cernunnos when my hearing is blocked.

5th, learn how to put up wards. This is mentioned in my Cernunnos post that I put up. A lot of people on here will state you do not need them. Heres the thing, you do. It's not because Gods cant protect us, it's because Gods have SO many people that they work with and theres so much that we as humans? We dont know about. As someone whose been attacked BY a malicious spirit, I can concur you do need wards when you do magick. They also are essential because they teach you defensive magick which Gods would want you to know anyway when you get to the point of travelling in the astral, but that's more advance magick. Anyway how to wards is in that link!

6th, in my link I shared it talks about a lot of ways to get in contact with Cernunnos but I'd like to mention some ways I do it as a chronically Ill person myself. I'll also list ways I personally offer him things.

Meditation outside (not during winter)

Dancing (he adores dancing)

Listening to irish/celtic music

Cooking with his favorite foods

Tarot

Telling him about my day out loud

Telling him I love him, thanking him for his guidance

Wearing his pendant.

Singing in irish

I'd also like to note that Cernunnos has such a soft spot for his disabled devotees, he will literally yell at you sometimes if you are pushing yourself too hard or being disrespectful to your body in anyway. And some warnings: if you choose to work with him you HAVE to be respectful to nature. This doesnt mean be vegan. Cernunnos adores meat, you just need to honor it. Always give an offering or ask a plant prior to picking. Make friends with your local fae (just offer them things to keep the peace), talk with your trees. Be kind to the earth. That is his #1 rule when working with him. I've seen him get furious over trees be cut down too soon. He hates how corrupt our world has become.

He loves us, but he wants us to respect ourselves, our home, and so forth.

Again I hope this helps and you guys are always welcome to reach out to me about him!

#cernunnos #celtic pagan #paganism #celtic paganism #disabled witch #spirit work #witchcraft #pagan #celtic pagans #kernunnos #pan #forest god #horned god

[thiswasinevitableid]

5, sternclay, nsfw? 👀

Here you go

5: Incubus

“Buddy, I promise, you can come in and cuddle in like, ten minutes.” 

The whining at the bedroom door stops, replaced by a big, wet nose, just visible through the crack at the bottom of the door as it snuffles back and forth. It’s very cute, but Barclay is not about to let his dog deprive him of a much needed jerk-off session.

He’s ready for bed, so it’s just a matter of pulling down his pajama pants and getting to it. Closing his eyes, he pictures that cute customer who gets black coffee and a croissant every morning at the Lodge. It takes a few tries to find a fantasy he likes, the one about the back counter and the new uses for a spatula.

Outside the door, Sass starts whining again, scratching frantically at the wood. There goes his deposit. 

God, he can practically feel the guy up against him.

The bed dips on the outside of each thigh. Opening his eyes reveals a man wearing nothing but deep blue boxer briefs and a smile. 

“Holyshitwhatthefuck?” He clambers back, banging his head on the wall in his hurry to sit up, “what the fuck man, how’d you get in here?”

“A portal between dimensions.  That’s the, um, simplified version. But don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt you. The opposite really. I’m an incubus.”

“Why the fuck is a fucking sex demon in my bedroom?” Barclay yanks his pants up. The incubus looks sad at this development. 

“I feed on sexual energy, and to do that I follow trails of that same energy to their source. You have a lot of it.”

“Yeah, year-long dry spell’ll do that.”

“Consider it broken.” The demon leans forward only for Barclay to hold up a hand.

“Nope. This is not how I want to break it. Sorry.”

“Is it my appearance? I can look like anyone--or anything--you want.” His features morph, eyes going from brown to blue to green, hair from honey-blond to fire red, “if you’re shy, my powers let me see into your deepest fantasies and make them come true.”

“No that’s not the problem, I wanna fuck someone I have some kinda connection to, not some guy who dropped into my bedroom. And would you please knock it off with that face-changing? I’m not gonna fuck you, so you can just look like yourself.”

The incubus starts, surprised by his sharp refusal, features landing on short, black hair, blue eyes, and a face that’d make a movie-star insecure. 

“I said you don’t have to try and be hot.”

“...This is how I look.” 

“Oh. Uh. Cool.” 

The demon smiles, “Having second thoughts?”

He takes a deep breath and lies through his teeth, “Nope.”

With that, he stands, grabbing the nearest shirt and pulling it on. Sass wiggles when he opens the door, takes one look behind him, and runs the other way.

“I wish I knew why earth canines react that way to me. I have a hellhound named Mother Leeds who adores me.”

“Jersey Devil reference?” He pads into the kitchen, starts the kettle and rummages in the cabinet for the most soothing tea blend he owns. 

“Yes!” The demon grins from his new position by the fridge, “when I found her she was pregnant with a litter. Most people don’t get it. Demons don’t either.”

“Friend of mine likes Mothman and all that kinda stuff. Uh” He takes a cup down, reaches for a second one automatically and then stops, “are you gonna hang around? Because my answer isn’t changing and if you keep pestering me I’ll just leave the apartment.”

“No, I’ll drop it. You’re not interested and sexual energy only works if it’s from something consensual. But, um” he toys with a magnet, “could I ask a few questions before I go?”

“About?”

“Humans. How things work up here, what your daily lives are like, that sort of thing.”

“Uh, sure.” He gets down the second mug, “is this so you can better seduce them or something?” Turning, he finds the incubus sitting at the table, producing a small notebook and pen from the air.

“No, this is my own research. I’m, um, more curious about humans than the average demon. I basically ended up an incubus because at my last job I kept trying to talk with humans or spend more time around them than was wise and, well, my supervisor got sick of it. So they offered me a reassignment to a role where the whole point was to be around people.”

“You fuck people just so you can, like, interview them afterwards?” He sets the two mugs on the table, notices that the notebook is crammed with questions in neat, elegant handwriting. 

“Technically, I also need the energy from it. But, um, yes” he blushes, “I know it’s a sort of silly hobby.”

“I don’t think it’s silly to wanna know about other worlds and people. But this doesn’t seem like the most, uh, effective way to do it.”

A sigh as the demon picks up his mug, “You’ve got that right. Sometimes I can get a few questions in during ‘pillow talk’ but mostly it’s in and out. Literally.” He snickers at his own bad joke, which further kindles the inexplicable, protective impulse Barclay feels towards him, “Don’t get me wrong, I like my work, and being a good incubus takes skill and dedication. It just...isn’t quite what I thought it’d be.” He sips the tea, brings the mug away from his mouth to study the liquid, “what kind is this?”

“Mostly chamomile.” 

“Chamomile…” he flips through the book, which contains more pages than should be physically and spatially possible, “that’s a plant, one that humans thing is calming, right?”

Barclay can’t help but smile, “Right. You want me to sit here and quiz you?”

“No, there’s too much to discover. What would you say is your area of expertise?” 

“I’m a cook, so food.”

“Food, food, ah here it is. Let’s see, why do humans persist in eating things that could kill them?”

“You mean things like rhubarb or are we in, like, Fugu territory here?”

The demon smiles, “I have no idea, please say more.”

They sit at the table until two in the morning, at which point Joseph ,the incubus, excuses himself to go collect energy from a willing participant. Before he disappears, he takes a chance and tells Joseph that he can come back if he has more questions. The demon thanks him and, out of what Barclay suspects is a habit more than anything else, blows him a kiss goodbye. 

----------------------------------------

“Y’know, I kinda figured you’d look more demonic. Do incubi just get human forms?” Barclay shakes red pepper flakes onto his pizza while Joseph finishes a filled breadstick. 

“This isn’t my ‘true’ form. When you asked me just to look like myself when we met, I figured you meant the least alarming version.”

“As long as it’s not, like, a beast with a thousand eyes, we’re good.”

Joseph wipes his mouth and by the time the napkin reaches the other corner of his lips, Barclay is gasping.

His nails turn sharp and silver, his eyes pure black, but it’s his skin that’s most noticeable; it’s swirls and swoops of blue and silver, dancing down his arms and blooming out from the neck of his  “Museum of Anthropology” souvenir shirt. He stands, giving Barclay a fuller view. Short horns sprout from his head, doubtless the perfect size and texture to hold him in place with your dick down his throat. His tail is that same mix of royal blue and silver, the right length to wrap around your hand and tug while you fuck him. Every inch of him is made to be pinched and pulled, groped and fondled, and Barclay will not be standing up from the table any time soon.

“It’s the color that gets people.” Joseph smiles with pointed teeth as he sits back down.

“It’s incredible, Joseph.”

The demon smiles, mischievous, “I’m glad you like it. Now, where were we?” He uncovers his notebook from a stack of parmesan packets and clicks his pen, appearance fading back to the human one Barclay is used to. He mourns his loss for a moment, before Joseph draws him into an animated conversation about movie theaters. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Come on Sass, it’s okay. Look, I even have your favorite.” Joseph holds out the treat, still fresh from the oven, while Barclay puts the rest of the batch out of range. The dog no longer runs from the demon, but will not come within arms reach of him. 

Sass whines, looking from Joseph to Barclay and back. 

“Here” Barclay settles on the couch next to him, resting his arm along the back of it, “see, buddy, he’s our friend.”

Sass creeps forward, still on his belly, plucks the treat from Joseph’s palm, and retreats to his bed. 

“Progress.” Joseph leans back, pleased. Their positions mean he comes to rest with Barclays arm around him. Barclay doesn’t move it, and the demon stays put until the end of the episode of Hells’ Kitchen

------------------------------------------

The newest Agent X is so engrossing that Barclay doesn’t register Joseph until his friend slumps onto the bed. 

“Hey, you’re early.” He sets the book down on the nightstand, scooching to where the demon sits rubbing his forehead.

“I’m, um, I’m having a bit of a problem.” When he looks up, silver and blue peeks through the skin on his face, “I misjudged how much energy I was going to get from my last two visits. I’m so weak I don’t think I can make it back home. I, um, I came here because if I’m going to be stuck and without powers I” his horns appear and he scratches them awkwardly, “I want it to be around someone I trust.”

“What’ll happen if you can’t get more energy?”

“I’ll get sick, and if the worst happens I’ll have to signal for someone to come get me. Which’ll get me demoted for sure.” He tucks his legs up onto the bed. He’s wearing the UFO socks Barclay gave him as a surprise last week, and the cook sets a hand on a flying-saucer covered ankle. 

“You can stay as long as you need, okay? And if there’s anything else I can do to help, let me know.”

“Unless you feel like taking me door to door to ask your neighbors if they want to fuck, a safe place to rest is what I need most.”

“What if, uh, you recharged here?” He draws a finger up and down the side of Josephs’ calf.

The incubus raises his eyebrows, “Barclay, are you forgetting how we met?”

“I didn’t want to fuck you then, but now...now you’re you, this handsome, clever, dorky guy who also happens to be a sex demon who hangs around my house most nights. I, I didn’t ask about sooner because I was afraid you’d think it was fuck me or lose our friendship, but if I can help you in a kinda self-serving way, I’m down.”

Joseph shakes his head, “That’s sweet, but you’re not the only one with concerns. How can I be sure you actually want me, and you’re not just offering because you want to help?”

Barclay snaps his fingers, “You can read my deepest desires, right? How about you take a peek and tell me what you see?”

Joseph closes his eyes, tail twitching as he concentrates, and Barclay gets the distinct pleasure of watching his face as he learns the truth. 

“Oh. OH. Um, you’re not kidding about how badly you want me. And some of this makes the reaction you had the one time I showed up in a suit make way more sense. But we can explore that later.” His eyes, now-pitch black, snap open, “right now, big guy, I’ll do whatever you want, however you want it.” 

“In that case” Barclay catches Joseph just as he tries for a kiss, “how about you tell me what you want?”

“Barclay, I’m an incubus, I want whatever the person I’m feeding on wants.”

“Nuhuh, I don’t buy that, babe. You’re telling me there’s nothing that’s your favorite, or that you’re curious about?” He teases their lips together.

“N-no?”

“You’re not getting any kisses until you tell me the truth.”

Joseph narrows his eyes with a “hmmph.” Then, as if it’s his greatest secret, he whispers, “I want to know what it’s like to get a massage as foreplay. No one’s ever wanted it or offered, and it sounds so nice.”

Barclay rewards him with a kiss. The demon melts against him, slides a forked tongue into his mouth to tease it. Clawed fingers tug at his shirt until Joseph remembers he can do magic and renders them both naked with a wave of the hand.

When they part, Joseph licks his lips, “Holy hell, Barclay, that kiss was enough to make me feel better than I did this morning. Tastes nice too, like coffee with lots of cream.”

“So, coffee the way you like it.” Barclay nudges him backwards, rolls him over as the incubus keeps talking. 

“Usually it’s a neutral sweetness. I wonder, hmm, maybe it has something to do with the fact you’re attracted to me, as in the actual meOHohhhhhhh” he flattens into the bed like a cat on a sunny floor as Barclay digs his thumbs under his shoulder blades. 

“You can theorize later babe, I promise. Right now, all you gotta do is let me rub you down. Uh, can you magic up some oil or something? It’ll feel better if--great, thanks.” Barclay sets the lit massage candle safely on the nightstand, waiting for it to melt. 

“Should I put my human form back on now that I can hold it?”

“Nope” he traces his hands up parallel patches of silver, pinches one horn playfully, “I love that version of you, but this one is so, so, fucking hot. Now” be kisses the base of his neck, “relax.”

Drizzling liquid wax down his spine makes the incubus moan, but the sound is nothing compared to what happens when he starts kneading him like dough. It’s a yowl, rough and inelegant in a way Joseph never is, and Barclay dedicates the next fifteen minutes to finding new ways to trigger it. He’s so beautiful, it’s like touching a painting, a galaxy, a miracle.

By the time he reaches his lower back the incubus is grinding on the bed and Barclay is half-hard from touching him. He grips Joseph’s ass, parting it enough to grind between the cheeks. 

“Don’t tease” his tail delivers a scolding thwack to Barclays cheek. The cook growls, turning his head to capture the offending appendage between his teeth.

“OHholyffffffuckinghell.” Joseph rips the blanket as he flails, “no one’s ever thought to do that before and now I really wish they had.”

That’s all the encouragement he needs. He ignores his growing hard-on in favor of nipping and kissing his way down Joseph’s tail. It’s velvety, feels like nothing he’s ever experienced as it twitches and trembles under his tongue. The base gets an extra-hard lovebite and Joseph moans, rolling over so fast he nearly catches Barclay in the face with his cock. And what a cock, on the narrow side but covered in swirling ridges.

“Holy shit, you just get hotter and hotter.”

“Th-thank you, big guy, now for gods sake pleeEEEase fuck me.” He whimpers adorably when Barclay licks up his shaft. 

“Okay babe, we can fuck. But I think…” he grabs the incubus, flipping them so Joseph straddles him, “I want you to fuck me.”

Joseph registers his words and his eyes glow deep blue. 

“Uh, is that a good thing?”

“Yes, big guy, it’s the closest I get to having my pupils dilate when aroused. And since you look so good underneath me, I’ll expedite things” he snaps his fingers and Barclay inhales in surprise; his ass is dripping lube and stretched like someone just pulled three fingers away from it.

“Fuck yeah” he spreads his legs, “c’mon blue eyes, don’t make me wait anymoreOHFUCK, fuck, yeah, like that.” He hooks his legs around Joseph as the incubus thrusts all the way in. Joseph kisses in precise shapes up and down his face, even as his hips keep a rapid, erratic rhythm. 

“Shit, shit, Barclay you taste so good, feel so good, please, please don’t stop touching me.”

“Not sure I could ever keep my hands to myself again, babe, god you’re so fucking handsomeAH, hah, someone got a praise kink?” He gasps out laughter as Joseph fucks him harder with each kind word. The ridges on his cock are solid enough that Barclay feels them with each drag, and it sets his toes curling.

“Maybe a little one” the incubus smiles against his neck, “though kink is a distinctly human concept and a complex one-SHITfuck, fuck please do that again.” He kisses Barclay hard as the human obligingly pulls his tail with one hand and smacks his ass with the other. Teeth catch Barclay’s lower lip on the next tug, a moan spilling from Josephs’ mouth down his chin. 

“That’s it baby, fuck me while I rough you up, fuck, Joseph, your dick is fucking perfect, never gonna want another one, c’mon please, I’m close.”

Joseph sits up, grinning joyfully, and grips Barclays cock. It’s a masterful handjob, because how could a sex demon give anything else, but what strikes Barclay most is how happy and relaxed Joseph is. The incubus admitted once that even when he was having sex, he constantly worried about fulfilling the fantasy to earn enough energy to feed. Yet here he’s laughing and smiling, eyes aglow as he works Barclay up to the best orgasm of his life. 

It means something; Barclay only hopes Joseph will stay in his life long enough for him to figure out what. 

He’s too busy with the sparks behind his eyelids and the pleasure coursing down from his head to his toes to note that Joseph managed to make them cum at the same time. The incubus pushes a hand through his fair, swooping it back and off his face, as he notes this accomplishment. 

“I want to run a marathon. Or maybe go hiking, or swim the lake. I have so much energy. Barclay, it’s amazing. You, it’s never been like that before. It’s felt good, but that was fucking transcendent. 

“No fucking kidding.” Barclay shifts onto his side, nestling up against him so his head is under Joseph’s chin. He yawns, kisses a blue shoulder, “but you might have to burn off some energy without me. You wore me out, blue eyes.”

Joseph adjusts his arms so he’s holding him, “If I stay the night, can I walk Sass with you in the morning?”

Barclay nods, already falling asleep, safe in the knowledge that Joseph is okay and, better yet, so fond of him that his eyes are still glowing, “You got a deal, babe.”

#sternclay #agent stern/barclay #reader requests #monster march #TAZ amnesty