#it's making me so miserable

[serialunaliver]

another thing I hate is when people say engaging with a persons delusions is bad because it validates the illness.

i'm not sure how to tell you this, but psychosis validates itself. delusions involve a lack of awareness that you're experiencing a delusion and others referring to the delusion as a delusion can create distrust. if someone is more content having others engage in symptoms like this in a positive way there's nothing wrong with it and it may make it easier to cope.

#literally fuuuuck that group therapy program that said I can't attend when I reject antipsychotics to get rid of my world #ITS BEEN DONE BEFORE AND I FELT SO MISERABLE I HAD NO DESIRE TO LIVE #I don't even think my world is a delusion this is justwhat doctors say #but i'm glad if people engage with it..Why does this make me bad?

[verflares]

i thought i felt your shape, but i was wrong. really all i felt was falsely strong, i held on tight and closed my eyes. it was dumb, i had no sense of your size. it was dumb to hold so tight.

#tumblr murked my quality so bad MY GODDDD please click on this i promise i have somewhat of an idea of wht im doing. kinda #anyway i once again have no idea what i was doing here but i did have fun. they make me miserable in the best way possible #im trying to be a bit more experimental both in style and colour... well. half on tht last one (guy who really likes reds and blues) #but im trying out line weight a bit more. hooty hoo. going to try drawing some more practice portraits n stuff soon #link #zelda #loz #botw #zelink #(a smidge bcus im insane. as usual) #princess zelda #zelda botw #link botw #loz fanart #tloz #i add new tags each time. i just like to get silly with it sometimes tbh :] #my art

[lokorum]

funny crying little man for @poreyneel as my part of our art trade!! 

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

the idea behind it was "gortash after realising that durge is gone or dead. he is alone\ exhausted\ waiting for something that is not gonna happen". so ofc OFC i couldn't resist to use part of the infamous durge's love letter. im not sure if orin or balthazar\ketheric would cared enough to show it to gortash BUT IMAGINE IF THEY DID SDKFJKSFDKJSDF OH MY GOSH 

#enver gortash #bg3 #bg3 gortash #durgetash #durge x gortash #baldur's gate fanart #bg3 fanart #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate fanart #lord gortrash my beloved #and ooooooh thank you so much poreyneel for being the cutest!! #having the patience of a saint!!! and giving me literally the best first art trade experience!! #i had so much fun making this man as miserable as possible phphphp

[neonbuck]

you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.

#.txt #i didnt always know this and i dont pretend i did. #i'm just glad i've learned it now at least #i went straight from a cult-like group into tumblrs 'its ok to kick any one out of your life for any reason' environment in my early 20s #it made my life turbulent lonely and miserable #thinking on the older adults who should have known better leading sheltered young queer people astray back then makes me feel so bitter.

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at #also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat. #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #doodlebyte #'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance... #you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral #anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn #sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town #i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming #id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country #plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure #all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities #and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this #which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match. #and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc. #just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it

[nymphaforesta]

long time no see 🕯️🤍🌿

#where’s the tilted head emoji tho #that would be funny #ANYWAY work is driving me insane and making me miserable so i applied for another job and let’s see how it goes!! #because i am tired :))) #and maybe my manager will finally understand my worth

[lotus-pear]

do you ever think about how in the day i picked up dazai side b dazai had to lie emotionless and soulless—like a corpse, almost—beside the man that gently brought him in, nursed his injuries, held him while he was in pain? he had to keep those suffocating bandages around his entire face, lest this man gain some sort of recognition for the little boy he saved. he had to lay there curled in the fetal position, bleeding and in pain, perhaps thinking about how, in another life, this man cooked for him, tried to build up his strength. read to him to pass the time while he curled up against him like a child listening to a bedtime story. played cards with him. saw through the heartless mafioso. the ruthless killer. and instead saw a boy.

imagine knowing this man, the man who saved you in more ways than one, was going to die one day all because he knew you. because he reached his hand into the darkness and plaintively, like a small child wanting a parent's touch, you grasped back desperately. imagine thinking all of that while that man is just a stone's throw away, making coffee in the next room just like he used to for you in another life. the scent, although you've never been here before, is reminiscent of home. and the tune he's humming? it's the silent melody that plays through your mind seven years later, for the last time as you fall backward off the building with your arms out like an embrace. but, hey. that man is alive. he's happy, although he never knew you. you can die with no regrets.

#guys i actually cannot stop thinking about oda and dazai someone save me PLEASE. the day i picked up dazai ruined my fucking life #dazai makes me so fucking miserable every time i see him in beast i just start fucking sobbing #absolute TRAGEDY of a character #he was fucking fifteen in this. and he knew the entire time. he knew oda would die. before even meeting him #bsd #the day i picked up dazai #ermmm found this in my drafts and i wanted to post it sorry guys i sound emo asf

[j7lkx]

but does growing up just change your body?

or also

your soul?

#jlkart #tmnt fanart #tmnt 2003 #tmnt #tmnt 2003 michelangelo #michelangelo splinterson #tmnt 03 #tmnt sainw #sainw #same as it never was #sainw mikey #he means so much to me #sainw mikey makes me so sad #he makes me ill #miserable whenever i think about him #which is often #he is so tragic

[dreadark]

that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them

but. does ivan know that…?

the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself

because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"

but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—

surely this selfish wanting can’t be love

...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die

but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...

I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)

but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself

#alien stage #alnst #alnst ivan #ivantill #i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough #just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently #idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho... #'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave #ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing #making him the most miserable guy ever #...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well #c...can we bring him back... don't die like this..... #(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated #wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong

[if-th3n-else]

#dwedit #rtdedit #tenedit #donnanobleedit #doctor who #dw #tvedit #televisongifs #sfedit #my gifs #mine #sorry the way he says 'be miserable in the rain' makes me laugh so much fijehfuzehez #tried to make a very heartbreaking donna gifset but i have been unable to do anything but cry #anyway #WHO'S READY FOR THEM????? #TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW

[heartorbit]

just how can i protect your smile?

#you guys like yaoi? can i get you some yaoi #pjsk #prsk #project sekai #proseka #tsukasa tenma #rui kamishiro #ruikasa #AUUUUUGH. #this is what finally makes me actually draw riks. vocaloid autism #putting the link in the caption because NOBODY FUCKIGN TLAKS ABOUT SCISSORHANDS EVER WHERES THE HYPE I NEED HER. SONG OF THE DECADE(2009) #this song makes me incredibly normal. my bad. i saw the miume choreography when i was like 11 and my brain shifted #i wanted their outfits to look like mikus in the mv so bad. Fuck my life for that btw stupid fuckign frill trim. why did she have to slay #tried to think of smth other than butterflies for kasa but i have no brain and tbh i hope his life is miserable so its fine #me posting this only to tmblr and not twt because i fucking hate twt #im drawing more song covers that live in my mind palace so i'll pist them there all together. and maybe here all together. who give a shit. #emnn skeleton orchestra next and it will fix me #Good lord. sorry. Im so caught up posting this for no reason. Get me out of here #im supposed to have a lecture in 3 hours but post covid symptoms say otherwise. im so fucked #i have a cyberpunk dead boy wip with them but idk i dont like posting wips on here its like an archive. n i want to actually finish it #but dear lord rendering it with their stupid outfits. clutches my chest falls to the floor. AUUUUGH #wxs killing me killing me taking damage augh auugh aughg

[arthursfuckinghat]

"Oohhhhhh darling Abigail 😫🔥 I've changed 🥺👉👈 come live with me 🙏 in an outhouse 👉🏠 I wouldn't 🙅‍♂️ ask my worst 😠 enemy to take a shit in 😤💩"

#queue the negative honour sound #“get some self respect you miserable sack of shit 🤬‼️‼️” #charles the whole time: 👀 ☕ #it makes me laugh so hard #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #funnies #uncle rdr2 #john marston #arthur morgan

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Up High!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #'I'm going to truncate this episode' -> immediately draws a second comic about Xue Yang's arm getting ripped off #This was the original no.88 and i think i COULD have merged them but I rather reflect then fully re-do it. #The crushed up candy in XY's hand makes me miserable and melancholic. So I need to make it funny. #The callousness at the candy is so interesting to me. I think on some level he understands why #but he's equally disgusted by Xue Yang's actions at this point #WWX in general has *no* tolerance for twisted affections. 'Don't care if you fell in love. Get Better Asshole.' #Kind of a consistent motif in how he reacts to other peoples feelings of affection #maybe his own too? Later in this episode and ep4 we see him very conflicted about his own affections #god maybe he earnestly doesn't really understand affection in any form. This....this makes sense. #not even going to get into the yumeng sibling drama. That's prob the most affection he allows and even then....its a mess.

[dreamiara]

#sorry this is the only thing that makes me not so miserable. his little hat

[aerithisms]

i've been rotating shadowheart saying "stop being so gentle" in her dark justiciar sex scene in my head ever since i saw it bc it is so. SO devastatingly sad. here is a woman raised in a cult to believe pain is good and suffering is good and all the agony she suffered as a child and still suffers now in the name of her goddess was right. and then somebody comes along who loves her and they treat her with tenderness and she can't fucking bear it and she begs them to stop because if she thinks about the fact that being loved and cared for doesn't have to involve pain then she'll have to question what the point of all her suffering was and she's committed too many sins to look back now.

#blahs #bg3 #if she looks back she is lost!!! #the line delivery makes me so insane there's so much sadness in it... jennifer english academy award #the fact that 'evil' shadowheart is just a cult victim that never got out and some part of her is screaming at the wrongness of it... #she hates it she's miserable but she can never ever ever admit that to herself or anyone else. or what was it all for. #so she just puts on this performance forever #i'm ill. i'm sick.

[ruporas]

post ep 11

#trigun stampede #trigun #meryl stryfe #nicholas d wolfwood #vash the stampede #i cant even elaborate on this episode bc ive spent all day Thinking about it yesterday #and it made me Miserable #i just want to see vash have some autonomy again... #he is a little bit more on the quieter end for stampede as less angry about things but i dont think he's more of a coward in stampede #even though he was transported into his memories and saw and heard those terrible things from the kids and wolfwood #he was able to gather himself and keep going #his resilience has always been the strongest and also saddest thing about him #so it killed me irreversibly when he lost the one person who he could always look back to reliably #the fact knives couldnt even alter anything in rem's dialogue within those memories just stands for how strong her place is in vash's memory #and potentially knives just knows that would be too ooc of her to make in any Universe if she had something horrible. #man. I TALKED ABOUT THIS IN LIKE ALL 3 PLATFORMS. I'm alright with Knives as a character but jesus #- i did it all for you - im so sad that vash had to hear something like that. im so so sad about it #anyway i hope meryl stays safe shes done so much #i love her so much <3 #ruporas art