#it's mostly just in tumblr posts and then in writing tbh lmao

[fvnalgirlcomplex]

PRETTY ISN’T PRETTY ✸ J. HUGHES

and it begins!! this is irl but also mostly social media au because my tumblr is/was acting up and deleted most of what i had written and.. i’m lazy so!!! reader is referred to as ‘you’ and their looks are talked about but i tried to avoid describing looks… however… reader doesn’t have blonde hair but listen like every nhl fic uses a blonde girl for the fc so. i think its justified!! but sorry to anyone blonde reading lol. i didn’t rlly know how to end this tbh but i hope it’s still good and i hope u like it!! remember that you are beautiful! any negative things said obviously aren’t true :)

warnings: light mention/implication of an eating disorder, insecurities, hate comments, reader gets picked up (lowkey manhandled a little bit), suggestive comments (2), unedited writing

masterlist, series masterlist

fc: olivia rodrigo ( oliviarodrigo on ig )

summary: dating jack wasn’t gonna be easy, you knew that. you just thought him traveling a lot was gonna be the hardest, not being picked apart by his fans.

bought a bunch of makeup,

tryna cover up my face

i started to skip lunch,

stopped eatin’ cake on birthdays

youruser

liked by lhughes and 56,890 others

youruser 22!! shout out to cole caulfield

view 182 comments…

colecaulfield thank you for the shout out. I really needed it.

youruser anything for a fan

user19 she’s so cocky omg

yourfriend the cake was so good! you should’ve had some :(

youruser the cake wasn’t very big and i don’t really like cake that much anyways lol glad you liked it though!!

jackhughes ❤️

liked by youruser

user373 at least she chose a blurry pic so we don’t have to see her face lmaoo

jackhughes

liked by trevorzegras and 120,293 others

jackhughes birthday girl 🎂

view 367 comments…

_quinnhughes haps

youruser damn. not even a full sentence 😔

user14 even his brother doesn’t like her lmao 💀

user298 i hope she knows she’s public enemy #1

user63 bro could do sm better

trevorzegras big! 22! 2️⃣2️⃣

user86 the way she looks at him though 🥹

user7 no..

user329 why are you so miserable

user738 he did her so dirty with the second picture 😭 makeup can only do so much but somehow she looks even worse than i imagined with no makeup

“I didn’t know it was such a big deal—”

“It shouldn’t have to be a big deal, Jack! I asked you not to post it, I don’t understand why you don’t listen!”

Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were taking your insecurities out on Jack when it really wasn’t his fault. But, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve started to hate what you see everytime you look in the mirror, or someone takes a picture of you and that’s when you have makeup on. Words couldn’t describe how gross you feel without makeup on.

“I think you look gorgeous. I don’t know what the issue is.” Jack responded, too nonchalantly for your liking.

“The issue is that I don’t think I look gorgeous so I don’t want it out in the world for all your fans to see.” Jack sighed at your response. He knew what this was about but to him, you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. He just couldn’t grasp how someone like you could be insecure.

“Y/n…” He said softly, grabbing the sides of your face. The mood in the room had quickly changed from tense to sad as soon as the word fans was mentioned. “You’re stunning. I know you don’t believe me but, you really are. All those comments are from a bunch of teenage girls who are jealous. I know it’s hard to block out but you just have to try ‘cause I wanna show everyone how pretty my girl is, okay?” Jack finished, trying to cheer you up. It didn’t really work to be honest but still, through glass eyes, you looked up at him and nodded before he brought you into a comforting hug.

You wanted to believe him, you really did. But it wasn’t just teen fan girls. It was also grown men. Men your boyfriends age who thought you were just as hideous. They couldn’t have been doing it for the same reasons as the fan girls. They had to have just been being honest, right?

‘cause there’s always somethin’ missin’

there’s always somethin’ in the mirror

that i think looks wrong

when pretty isn’t pretty enough,

what do you do?

You loved spending time with Jack. And you also loved getting to spend time with the people he cared about. But the pressure of looking good before going knowing that pictures would be taken, with or without you knowing, made you want to puke.

You started planning out your outfits far in advance, what shoes, how you’d do you hair, your makeup. Everything. You told yourself over and over again that the outfit is cute. You asked Jack about it and he always reassured you that you would look beautiful in anything and the friends you’d ask say the same thing.

But that still wasn’t enough to stop your brain from making you think everything was wrong. No matter you were wearing, when you looked in the mirror it just looked… wrong. Like something was missing.

“Babe?” Your boyfriends voice came softly through the bedroom door. Jack had invited you to the Devils Halloween Party this year which would be your first New Jersey Devils event. Jack and Luke were wearing matching spider-man costumes with Nico and Dawson who were currently at the brothers apartment. “You ready?” He asked you as he poked his head into the bedroom before fully stepping in, closing the door behind him.

“Yeah, I was just looking for my cat ears.” Lie. You were overanalyzing yourself like you always did before you went out but you knew if you told Jack that he’d feel bad and tell you that you didn’t have to go if you weren’t comfortable.

It wasn’t clear if Jack really believed your lie but he glanced around the room for the headband anyways before finding it on the edge of the bed next to you and placing them on your head for you.

Still sitting on the edge of the bed from when you were putting on your boots before you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, you looked up at Jack, who’s hands stayed on the side of your face after gently placing the headband on you.

Words weren’t exchanged as he looked at you, his thumbs tenderly moving over cheeks. He moved down to place a lovingly soft kiss on your forehead and then your lipstick covered lips.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against your mouth. You almost believed him.

njdwag.updates

liked by jackhughes and 2,384 others

njdwag.updates y/n at the halloween party with a fellow wag. she went as a black cat 🐈‍⬛

view 103 comments…

theotherwag sweetest girl to ever exist 🩷

user273 jacks like 🥹

user33 is this a safe space?

user649 depends…

user33 i love yn. and i love yn and jack!! they’re so cute and it’s so obvious everyone that hates her is just jealous :/

user472 REAL!!! they claim to be fans of jack but hate to see him happy… like something isn’t adding up??

liked by 208 others

user634 wait jack went as spider-man and she went as a black cat?? she’s kinda funny for that

user710 jack probably didn’t want to outright match with her 💀

user845 her standing next to another wag.. this is so sad like jack!! wake up!!

and everybody’s keepin’ it up, so you think it’s you

i could change up my body and change up my face

i could try every lipstick in every shade

but i’d always feel the same

‘cause pretty isn’t pretty enough anyways

njdwags

liked by 1,266 others

njdwags y/n y/l/n at her colleges football game with friends!

view 103 comments…

user968 everytime there’s a picture of her standing next to someone it really highlights how ugly she is LMAO

user263 idk why people hate her sm she’s so pretty

user945 she’s even prettier in person! i met her at the game and she was so nice. it’s so sad to see all the hate she gets :(

liked by njdwags

user293 we have class together!! she’s literally so sweet and smart

user683 ugly ass

user78 she chose a college football game over her boyfriends hockey game…

user537 why does she always have her tongue out 💀

and i try to ignorе it, but it's everythin' i see

it’s on the poster on the wall, it's in like every magazine

it’s in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys i bring to bed

it’s all around, it's all the time, i don't know why i even try

It’s like you couldn’t stop yourself from reading comments on posts about you. You knew you should ignore but it seemed impossible to ignore at this point.

You knew the comments would be negative like they always were but you always had hope they would be nice for once. And there was nice ones sometimes! But most were so overwhelmingly negative, you couldn’t even focus on the positives.

And it wasn’t just comments either, no. Not anymore at least. Since, you’ve read the comments, it’s like all the negative has leaked out of your phone and into every aspect of your life.

It was when you visited your family over winter break, you had totally forgotten about the posters you had in past years of icons from your childhood. Icons who were so how all skinny or blonde or had stunning blue eyes or all three. The break was supposed to get you away from all that and yet, you still cried yourself to sleep that first night.

Every aspect of life also included you and your boyfriend. You knew before you and Jack had started dating, he was constantly liking other girls bikini pics on instagram. And even though he had stopped doing that, you’d still seen tweets from his fans in the past joking about how he was “always at the scene of the crime” with a screenshot of his like on a picture of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And while you tried to ignore it, you noticed of a pattern with all the girls. They looked a lot like the icons from your childhood. Nothing like you.

So now, late at night, when you were supposed to be having quiet and sweet moments with your boyfriend; your boyfriend that you didn’t get to see very often at that! You spent those moments thinking about those stupid likes on those stupid pictures of those stupidly beautiful girls.

And as for you, the comments had really gotten to your head. Even when you weren’t with Jack and you weren’t on your phone or in your childhood room. You still found someone to compare yourself to. It was like some kind of superpower.

and i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy

i chased some dumb ideal my entire life

and none of it matters and none of it ends

you just feel like shit all over again

Was this silly? It feel silly.

This didn’t feel like you but a change was needed.

Jack (and Luke) had been hanging out with the team all day and you had the day off. You had decided to spend the time alone shopping for clothes that you would’ve never worn before this past month and a box of blonde hair dye.

“We’re home!”

Luke’s voice rang through the apartment, snapping you out of your trance that you were in while staring out the box of hair dye taunting you on the bathroom counter.

“Y/n?” Now it was Jacks voice that made its way through the apartment.

“Bathroom!”

You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door before a knock on the door, hesitating before opening the door before him. He slipped in before locking the door behind him.

“I was gonna jump in the shower if he wanted to join me.” Jack told you, his hands sliding around your waist with his back to the door. Naturally, your hands slipped around to rest behind his neck, forgetting about the hair dye sitting on the counter.

“I think I’m gonna have to pass this time—”

“You’re gonna dye your hair?” Jack cut you off, his eyes focused behind you.

“Oh- Yeah, I just, um, wanted a change I guess.”

Jack didn’t say anything or take his eyes off of the box of hair dye. He didn’t buy it for a second but he just didn’t understand. How could you not see how beautiful you were. Jack had known the comments were bad, he just didn’t realize they were getting to you this badly. He looked back to you, who had a guilty look in your eyes. Jack sighed before moving you over to the counter, placing you next to the box.

“Baby, if you really want to dye your hair blonde; go for for it. But I don’t think you want to.” You couldn’t even look at him. You felt embarrassed that you’d been confronted about how out of hand these insecurities have gotten, even if it wasn’t really your fault. You felt like a child being scolded. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you really have to listen to me this time okay, babe?”

Jacks hand came up to your chin, gently pushing your head up to make eye contact with him.

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I mean that. All those assholes just want to find someone to hate more than themselves and I’m sorry that dating me has made you a target for that. But blonde hair dye isn’t gonna make them stop. I’ll say something— I should’ve said something sooner but I’ll do it now. Just- Just don’t change for them because they won’t ever be happy. Pretty isn’t pretty enough for them, okay?”

You were crying now. Because you knew he was right and you were upset you had let them drive you crazy. You continued to cry as your boyfriends arm came around your frame. You uttered apologies, not quite sure for what, while his hand rubbed your back.

After a while, your tears stopped and Jack pulled away. “I love you. And I told you, if you really want to go blonde, go for it. I mean, you’ll look hot either way—”

“Jack!”

“Okay, okay. Blonde or no blonde.” He asked with a small smile on his face, holding up the box of hair dye.

“No blonde.”

Jacks smile grew as he threw the box into the trashcan. His hands slid down to your thighs, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist.

“So… can we get that shower now?”

#GUTS SERIES🩸 #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[simplydnp]

hey there!

I kind of consider you the resident dnp expert (at least in dnp culture) so I wanted your opinion on a question that's been building for a while now.

What are the boundaries for dnp now?

There are so many things that I feel have changed even in the last four years: writing smutty rpf was Gross and Weird, along with art along that line, speculating about their relationship was ABSOLUTELY a no-go, all things that I see happening on Tumblr now. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!! I'm just acknowledging things have changed over time. They're different people now and so are we, and the "we know you know" era is lots of fun.

I was browsing reddit today (bad idea, do not recommend) and came across a post from a new Phannie asking if DnP were in a relationship. And while I agree that we cannot say for absolute certain that they are, the responses had a VERY different vibe than on here, emphasizing how bad the speculation was (true) and essentially saying "don't even think about that, just enjoy their content." (or something to that extent.)

Which... is very different from this here website in which we joke about them being horney for each other constantly lmao.

Being a very rules-driven person, I like expectations to be made abundantly clear for pretty much everything. So that's why I want to ask: Is there a line here? Are we crossing that line? How defined is that line? (All of this, of course, I recognize is your opinion and yours alone, and if this is posted I encourage anyone else to share their two-cents in a respectful way.)

Obviously, trying to find out where they live/things like that is very clearly crossing a boundary. But is there some sort of limit or boundary I (and tbh the rest of the phandom), in your opinion, should be keeping in mind?

thanks xx

hi!

'resident expert' is a hefty title, i'm just here trying my best!

'what are the boundaries for dnp now?' is really a great question. cause the thing is, we used to know. there used to be a fairly well-defined and mostly agreed upon line, and ever since the dapg revival in particular, the line keeps moving.

i'll be honest, i never really saw phanfic as rpf, even though it is. my stance on phanfic is the same as dnps: it's a beautiful expression of art and creativity and is so, so important. they've always been pro-fic (even though we subjected them to some absolutely horrific crack fics), so i don't think 'smutty' fic has ever been gross or too far. they've given their blessing, and, as the conversation has been in fandom communities the last few years, rpf isn't 'for' the people in them, it's for the fans. so i digress.

art is much the same way. they love art! they even included art of them kissing in a tumblr tag video back in the day, so to say that's not allowed especially after they're out is kind of crazy to me.

i think the line with stuff like that was showing it directly to dnp--tagging them in explicit stuff, that kind of thing. but creating it? go for it! it's always been a green light. (i think fans have previously overpoliced this and we lost a lot of great fic, art, and community members over it)

browsing reddit is always a Choice. i've never participated on dnp reddit before but i am aware that it is an entirely different space than here. something that's important, i think (and i think you think this too as you're asking about them), is to respect the fandom rules of the place you partcipate in. tumblr is generally one of the most phan-positive places on the internet, especially publicly facing. we make a lot of relationship jokes, particularly because we run on the assumption it's already true, based on what they've both said publicly (mostly dan).

i won't comment on reddit specifically just because i'm not a part of the community there, but the speculation about dnp online was a Lot for a long time. but the worst part of it was the stalking, the digging into personal lives, the contacting family members--that is what was bad. dnp have always had a connection--and, honestly, they kind of love flexing it and kind of always have. they absolutely play into things now, but they certainly did even way before coming out too. i think a certain level of speculation was to be expected, especially in that era of online fandom. but it wasn't just the 'teenage girls' who cared, the media did too, and so did many others.

i think one of the biggest differences now is 1 the awareness of 'our' past and trying to make up for it, and 2 the broader societal conversations about parasocial relationships.

you see this reflected on the snippets ive seen from dnp reddit and dnp twitter. they tend to be Very 'cautious' about the words they say, often undercutting perfectly reasonable statements with 'but whatever their relationship is'. on one hand, they don't want to cross a line, and i can respect that. on the other hand... it's 2024 babes. they just put out merch of them holding hands. dan's directly, intentionally, and explicitly called phil a bottom on dapg. they reacted to all of the pinofs, made jokes about 'theyre touching', and even joked about the tackle being 'wrestling 👀'. dan posted half-naked catboy pics and showed us phil was taking them. the 'watch your step babygirl' tweet & their reactions to it. phil is credited in WAD. they're making threesome jokes about themselves as a unit. i could go on and on.

to me, there's a few things that have 'moved the line' for us, so to speak.

1 - DAPG returning. for the last few years they specifically were not a duo (for projects) anymore. (and no, not because they hated each other). they just weren't. they wanted to focus on their goals and projects. they didn't have to resurrect dapg, but they chose to. marketing and money aside, they knew that if this went over well, it would well and truly revive the 'dan and phil' brand again. it would be specifically returning to being a duo in the public eye. (however they've also fully embraced this in all aspects, including merch, videos, and general attitude)

2 - pinof reacts. even though they'd been out since 2019, we hadn't had regular joint content from them since before that, therefore, while they had become more comfortable with themselves and their 'outness', we hadn't (in terms of them making explicit gay jokes together). so i really think dnp had to de-fang a lot of the 'theyre touching' of it all, because we didn't really know where we stood on it anymore. i think they succeeded, too. we couldn't be here, with the content of the last 3 months, without them tackling it head on (well, as head on as they're want to do).

3 - dapc. genuinely another big shift. they did this for the real fans. purely a passion project, and a specific choice in doing the handhold. they know what we're like. and this wasn't a brief, unplanned, unscripted moment. it's a specifically blocked out scene. they know it's opening a door, and they chose to. this is doubled by the fucking iconic merch selling, and furthered by phil's twitter likes of arguably romantic phanart, and then dan's full straddle like.

even throughout the current 6 months of revival, the line has moved. i don't know where it will settle. dnp keep moving it, in my opinion, and, genuinely, i don't think it's going to leave much to the imagination. as you say, obviously not the stalking or the contacting, but beyond that? especially here on tumblr? i wouldn't get too worried. obviously people will have their opinions, but as long as you're generally respectful and recognize that humans will see your posts and humans interact with them, i think you're good.

my rule of thumb is anything they intentionally put on the table, we can joke about or at the same level. but in terms of art/fic? go off, live your dreams. dan and phil would want you to.

#i didn't include a cut because people don't always look under them and this is generally a whole statement. feel free to add things. #there's specific discourse i dont partake in. doesnt mean you have to avoid it entirely. but just dont bring it up to dnp and you're fine. #dnp #dan and phil #phan #<- for the fandometrics #c.text #answered

[cat3ch1sm]

╔══ஓ๑💚๑ஓ══╗

𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭!

╚══ஓ๑💚๑ஓ══╝

🌿 𝔠𝔞𝔱3𝔠𝔥1𝔰𝔪 🌿

*:･ﾟ｡ hello, everyone! i am cat3ch1sm, formerly simplysober, a black writer on tumblr! you may also call me eve. 💚

i hope you all enjoy my content and consider following me if you do &lt;3 *ੈ✩‧₊˚

🕸💚 request status: openn 🤍🤎

🤎🤍 masterlist below! 💚🕸

part one of masterlist

part two of masterlist

part three of masterlist

part four of masterlist

part five of masterlist

🧺 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 🧺

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i write sfw and nsfw works! i have no posting schedule, and time taken on requests varies. below are the fandoms i write for :D

writings can be drabbles, headcanons, text msgs, one-shots, incorrect quotes, and rarely multi-chapter stories. for x reader writings, the reader will mostly be female for sfw and nsfw works, but for sfw works the reader may also be gender neutral.

some fandoms are rarely written for unless requested, so some fandoms have less works than others. however, it doesn’t mean that i won’t write for them freely, and feel free to request for them whenever reqs r open &lt;3

✧༺💚༻∞

death note- light, l, misa, near, matt, mello, mikami (sfw+ nsfw)

hunter x hunter- gon, killua, leorio, kurapika, chrollo, hisoka, illumi, uvogin, machi, pakunoda, shizuku, feitan, phinks, shalnark (sfw+ no nsfw for gon and killua)

ohshc- haruhi, kyoya, tamaki, honey, mori, hikaru, kaoru (sfw+ no nsfw for haruhi, honey, and the twins)

black butler- sebastian, ciel, claude, agni, soma, mey-rin, finnian, bardroy (sfw+ no nsfw for ciel, finnian, or mey-rin)

sk8 the infinity- langa, reki, miya, joe, cherry (sfw+ no nsfw for miya)

jujutsu kaisen- yuuji, nobara, maki, megumi, gojo, nanami, geto, toji, sukuna, yuuta (sfw+ nsfw)

chainsaw man- denji, power, aki, kobeni, makima, himeno (sfw+nsfw)

across the spiderverse- miles, gwen, pavitr, miguel, margo, hobie, lyla, jess, peter b, miles!42 (sfw+ no nsfw for gwen, pav, miles, miles!42, margo)

hazbin hotel-charlie, vaggie, angel dust (platonic only), husk, alastor, sir pentious, lute, adam, sera, emily, lucifer, vox, velvette, carmilla carmine

notice- some fandoms/characters are rarely written for unless requested!

☘️ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 ☘️

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ here are just some things i want readers to keep in mind when on my account!

✧༺💚༻∞

~ be patient when requesting, my schedule/health is inconsistent and sometimes interferes with my uploading :( for this same reason, sometimes i don’t post for a while, bear with me please)

~ please be specific with your request!! like genre, plot, gender if needed, body type if needed, personality, setting, sfw or nsfw- i can write much better if i have more details :) just specify whatever you can&lt;3

~ all of my writings are either fem!reader or gender neutral reader. idk how to write for males :// all nsfw works, though, are fem!reader

~ i don’t write nsfw for children or non-con. if you have questions for other things i won’t write for message me :)

~ i will happily write x black!reader, if that’s what you would like specify in your request! also, if a writing randomly has a black reader, don’t question it lmao. my black followers mean the world to me tbh 🤎💚

~ people who have requested several times will not be top priority over first-time requesters.

~ must be following me to request!! sometimes i cannot see if you are following me or not, so if i accidentally write a request for a non-follower, that requester will be blocked. if i take the time and energy to write a story for you, the least you can do is follow me. (because of this rule, anonymous requests are not accepted because i cant see if you follow me or not!)

~ i have the right to ignore or deny any request

~ discrimination or bigotry will be immediately blocked!

that is all, everyone! i hope you enjoy reading on my account, i love you all very much <33 your support is valued greatly :)

#master list #headcanons #anime #fanfic #smau #masterlist #my account

[verysium]

what do you read in your spare time? you’re one of the most eloquent users i know, id love to hear how you find the media you consume and what your favorites are

omg ei 😊 welcome back to the inbox! thank you for your sweet words although i'm probably not qualified enough to be considered the full definition of eloquent. i am going to preface this post by saying that i definitely don't read as much as i should, so this list is not going to be comprehensive whatsoever. the last time i even visited an in-person library was like half a decade ago, and since then my spare time has been nonexistent lmao. anyways, here are some of my favorite/most recent reads as listed by author:

POETRY

richard siken: i think siken is already well-known both in the literary world and in whatever booktok deems is popular culture. if you don't already know him though, he is best known for his poetry collection crush, which delves into themes of obsession, gay love, and violent eroticism. i actually read this chapbook unknowingly. as in i was hounding sketchy pdf download sites at 3 AM and saw a man with bloodied lips on the cover and decided to read it. he basically became my summer fever dream after that. the way he juxtaposes images is seamless, smoother than water. only richard siken can talk about violence without making it sound violent. i also enjoyed his other poetry collection war of the foxes, especially "portrait of fryderyk in shifting light." i think light is a common motif throughout most of his poems, and he manipulates it effortlessly. the most recent piece i read from him is "piano lesson." i have nothing left to say that he didn't already say, so i would just recommend reading it for yourself. he is the og big brain when it comes to word play.

ocean vuong: he's unforgettable, and i mean that literally because nobody forgets a person named ocean. time is a mother was exactly what the name suggests: an exploration of grief, loss, and the rewind of time after his mother's death. some of the poems are almost cinematic in quality. "künstlerroman" is my favorite because it feels exactly like watching a video tape in reverse. i think his most famous work is "someday i'll love ocean vuong." it was the first piece i ever read from him, and to this day, it remains my comfort poem.

silas denver melvin: i only recently discovered him through his chapbook grit. i think he's also on tumblr @/sweatermuppet. he writes a lot on the trans experience, and his work gives me a mix of southern gothic and country vibes. would definitely read his other publications if i had the time.

chen chen: one thing about chen chen is that he always comes to devour. my favorite works from him are "self-portrait as so much potential" and "song of the anti-sisyphus." you have to put on your thinking cap for some of his poems, but once you grasp the meaning, everything makes sense all at once.

franny choi: "disaster means without a star" was the entire inspiration behind my first rin fic. i relate to her more personally in regards to the diaspora experience, but her collections are worth reading in general because of the sheer quality.

pages matam: his poem "piñata" was what got me into slam poetry. his work mostly consists of political commentary which i feel is particularly relevant in today's social climate. "on learning america's english" also resonates with people who have encountered the entire losing/learning immigrant tongues experience.

laura lamb brown-lavolie: i've only read one spoken word poem from her, and tbh i only needed to read one. "on this the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the titanic, we reconsider the buoyancy of the human heart" is my two-headed calf poem. one day i will get this tattooed.

brendan constantine: once again, this was the result of me being chronically online coupled with the boredom of an august heat wave. i found "the opposites game" through TED. honestly, i was a bit unsure about it at first, but it's a cute little poem that makes you really delve into the intricacies of craft.

TEEN POETRY & PROSE

yasmeen khan: she could mouth her words onto every square inch of my body, and i would still be coming back for more. ingraining them into flesh is not enough. "movie stars" is by far my favorite work from her. she writes about femininity and womanhood so profoundly. it's tragic, but really i wouldn't have it end any other way.

kaya dierks: her writing is basically middle-of-nowhere small town stoner teenage life but personified. "crushed" is my favorite piece from her. the soundtrack for this work was definitely by ethel cain, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

FICTION

madeline miller: i was first introduced to her when i read the song of achilles. let's just say that book had me nonverbal for the greater half of three months. it was my metaphorical hatchet. i buried it once, and i never want to dig it up again. i read circe a few years later. the first time was during the blue hour at an airport, right between one red-eye flight and another transfer. i don't even remember that experience because i was heavily sleep-deprived. i read it again recently for a literature course, this time for academic analysis. overall, i enjoy the the heroine-centric narrative. typically, i'm a bit wary of novels with heavy feminist themes because they either project their agenda too strongly or they run the risk of misrepresentation. circe doesn't exactly have that problem. it was more about empowerment and less about exercising power over others.

charlotte brontë: as a historical figure, brontë was questionable, but jane eyre most certainly was not. that book rewired my brain, and that is saying something because i have never read any classic by choice. and it is so important to me that jane was the ugliest, plainest girl you could ever imagine. also cus i unironically enjoy angst, and this book was full of dramatic misunderstandings.

yoko ogawa: i love japanese literature, so there is no reason not to include this one here. "a peddler of tears" is one of my favorite short stories. i did not expect the ending at all, but it was welcome. something about violence, body gore, and dismemberment being framed as romantic and semi-erotic just gets to me. sign me the hell up. hotel iris is a hit-or-miss with some people. either you like the fact that art makes you uncomfortable or you shut it down completely. for me, i was alright with exploring some of its darker themes, but read at your own discretion.

NONFICTION

ross gay: he lives up to his name both in optimism and in carefree joy. probably one of my favorite creative nonfiction authors simply based off the accessibility of his writing style. easy to read and understand but still hits you with the full force of a semi-truck. i would recommend his book inciting joy. it's a collection of essays that delve into grief, but since this is ross gay, he makes it seem like a quintessential part of life.

paul kalanithi: sixteen-year-old me was mind blown by him cus before that doctors were shrewish old men with bald spots and sterile coats, not poetic surgeons who dissected the anatomy of word and recited t.s. eliot in the most heart-wrenching way possible. he is everything i want to become in both life and death. when breath becomes air literally does take your breath away.

#asks #moots ♡

[visualtaehyun]

Hey, I just wanna know from where did you start learning thai? Also, what advice do you give to those who wanna start learning it

Hiya anon ✨

I'm not sure how much help I can be, considering I'm not doing a course or following an app or anything people usually do for language learning 🥴 I've been learning mostly by immersion tbh - I've been almost exclusively watching Thai series for over a year now, plus interviews, variety shows, youtube content, songs, so many songs lol, tweets, etc.

My personal learning approach is pretty loose and chaotic lmao but here goes:

1) The biggest hurdle for me was the script. Apart from already having started to notice recurring words being said in the Thai BLs I was watching at the time, I also wanted to be able to read people's tweets! In the end, it was a combination of 1) an app I happened to find (Pocket Thai Master for Android, it's free on the Play store!) and 2) the Wikipedia article on the Thai script that both helped me to understand and start reading and writing. Coming from a non-tonal mother tongue, learning the script early on really helps to understand the tones in Thai so it's something I would for sure recommend!

2) I started keeping a lil vocabulary notebook (you know those two-column ones?) shortly before my Bangkok vacation earlier this year. It not only helped with new vocabulary but also kept me practicing writing! Anytime I encounter a new word, I look it up on either or all of the following online dictionaries: thai-language.com, thai2english, Longdo Dictionary (which I literally just now realized can be set to English in the upper right corner, I've just been using it in Thai ever since I found it djsjdh), Wiktionary in Thai, or if all else fails I google it and might find an old forum entry or maybe an article if it's a slang word or idiom. I recall having dinner in a Bonchon in Bangkok and brokenly asking the waitress for chopsticks so, while waiting, I looked up and took down the word's spelling and pronunciation and when she came back and saw me copying all the info into my little notebook liKE A NERD she laughed and complimented me for the effort haha

3) If I hear a Thai word I'm unfamiliar with that I can't look up because I don't know the spelling, there's a few approaches. If I have context for its meaning, for example subtitles, then I look up the translation instead and hope I find it. If I don't, then there's the option of using thai-language.com's Reverse Phonemic Transcription function (this site in general is my holy grail tbh, it's why I mostly stick to its romanization style for any of my #local woman harps on about linguistics posts). Another option is using the papago app's speech-to-text function. Yes, you read that right. A Korean translation app, that I previously used when I was learning Korean and thus still had on my phone, proved to be useful for me to make sense of the spelling or pronunciation of Thai words. At the beginning, I only used it to read me homonyms out loud so I could parse the difference in tones lol but then I realized it wasn't half bad at rendering an accurate transcription! Sometimes I use that feature to check my own pronunciation or remind myself of the spelling of a word.

4) I always like to recommend @lurkingteapot's comprehensive Thai language learning resources post (it's far more coherent than my post here lol). And shoutout to @recentadultburnout for posting about Thai language and culture as a native speaker (both on tumblr and on ao3)! 🙏

5) This might be minor or self-evident but ya know- install the Thai keyboard for your devices! You're gonna need it sooner or later anyway if you wanna actually use the language. And if you're a keycap and keyboard nerd like me and happen to fall in love with a keyboard in a Siam Discovery store ehem then I do recommend getting a Thai layout keyboard (or keyboard stickers!) because that has proven to help me a lot in terms of ease of learning on desktop and familiarizing myself with letters I don't often encounter. Throwback to that one time I was on the train, revising consonants and their tone classes, and indignantly texted a very confused yet amused family member a photo of my hand-written copy of the Thai consonant table, asking how I'm ever supposed to differentiate between ฎ and ฏ!! Even now, I have to lean in and squint like an old lady to see the difference on desktop. 😭

I hope at least some of this proves to be helpful in your quest to learn Thai! In any case, you're not alone on tumblr or in our little BL/GL/QL fandom bubble - I know of several users who are learning Thai, like @airenyah and @philologique and the aforementioned @lurkingteapot, just to name a few I personally follow and who I'm sure all have their own advice to give if you shoot them an ask~

สู้ ๆ นะ :) /suu suu na/

#inquiring minds.txt #local woman harps on about linguistics #thai

[x-amount-verbs]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Oh man. I could never pick just five, tbh. Here’s some that I reread frequently though, sorted by fandom rather than ranking.

Arcane:

A Helping Hand (30/? chapters posted, silco/f!reader; occasionally smutty/explicit, but mostly heavy on the tension/slow burn) Duh! Of course I rec my longest but still unfinished multichap! A story of recovery and personal growth mixed in with some weird bdsm kink stuff? Come on, it's fun! And its reverse POVs! Can be found both here on tumblr and over on AO3.

Dead by Daylight:

Unwilling Survivor (33/? chapters posted, legion/f!OC; rated M for graphic violence, mentions of suicide, sexual themes; enemies to enemies to enemies to lovers) I fucking love my OC Sam, okay?? I love her so dearly, and this was her first debut in this universe, one which I have since written her in a LOT through RP and projects with friends. Some of my favorite writing is Sam stuff, I love my suicidal final girl and the untapped rage in her, she's fantastic. Please read this.

Oxenfree:

So It Goes (21/21 chapters, complete and posted, Jonas/Alex; rated M for themes, but no graphic content; time loop angst and warning for stepcest) Possibly the only multichap I've ever completed, thanks to Hammie as a cowriter. Loved writing Jonas for this one, with his intense guilt and strong sense of responsibility, and the delicious angst the canon setting brings. Also had so much fun making mood boards for every single chapter. Hop on over to AO3.

Holy Spirits (25/? chapters posted, Jonas/Alex bi4bi m/f alternate future fic that is so far from the source material it's practically contemporary romcom; rated M for sexual themes and some violence; annoyance to friends to Complicated) I love love love everything I ever wrote with my friend Hammie for Oxenfree, and this is no exception. So much fun to write Alex, especially with the amazingly silly banter these two get up to, highly recommend. It's over on AO3.

Original Works?:

Okay so technically this is an AU of Holy Spirits, lmao, but if you like one you'll hopefully enjoy the other! Lucky In Love (36/? chapters and still occasionally updating; bi4bi m/f reality tv romance (cameraman/contestant); rated M for sexual content; another annoyances to friends to lovers story, because that shit is my drug) Basically the same backstory as Holy Spirits, and even steals some of the OCs from that story, but instead Alex is a contestant on a dating show and Jonas is a cameraman who's growing a conscience. If you like reality tv drama of the 2010s era, this has it. Over on AO3.

#x-amount-talks #also i guess #x-amount-writes #the dreaded main #shameless self promotion #i love my own work tbh xD i have no shame #silco/reader #legion/oc #jonas/alex #arcane fic #dbd fic #oxenfree fic

[kageyuji]

Hii! This is my first time trying this, but do you have any advice for starting and building a writing blog?

I've been wanting to start one for a while but I'm not sure how to gain followers and stuff.

hi!! no worries :D and tbh.. i’m not exactly sure LMAO despite it seeming like i have my shit together i Do Not. but!! i can give you some general things/ideas:

write for yourself. write what makes you happy and what you genuinely want to write. despite how much of a people-pleaser i am, it’s also really important to remember that this is a hobby and if you write things you don’t really want to write, it’s going to show through your work but it’s also going to burn you out quickly.

(that said, if you are writing for x reader content make sure your reader is ambiguous. having a character be a 5’4 brunette with a knack for baking is cool sometimes, but it’s also a very slim audience and it’s going to throw some people off)

similarly, don’t compare yourself to other creators and don’t compare yourself to.. yourself. if you have something that does really good, and then you post the next week and it does shit, that’s okay! sometimes tumblr algorithm is just shit. sometimes certain characters are more of a fan favorite. but, also remember that people who have already built a large following are going to have more notes. just don’t get discouraged easily — every fic is something entirely new and it shouldn’t be weighed off of someone else or an entirely different work.

make a masterlist, and make it organized. if you write for a lot of characters and use different posting types this can get really confusing, but look around at other places or play around with it until you find something that you think feels right.

watch your blog activity (once you start posting, anyway). i believe mobile doesn’t have it, but on desktop (or just login to tumblr from your phones browser app lol) there is a little icon that will show interactions with your posts/blog and you can ask it to show the chart based on time of day, weekly basis, etc. post accordingly to that, and hopefully your posts will gain a little more traction :)

aesthetic is (unfortunately) pretty important in my opinion. of course, if you have the most well written thing i’ve seen i’m going to ignore the kinks but i’m also going to be a lot more likely to read things that are organized well. this is mostly about fics to catch someone’s eye, although this bleeds into your actual blog as well.

(pinterest has lots of cool stuff for aesthetics. twitter layout blogs also usually have a lot of good headers. if you want dividers, you can search the “dividers” tag on tumblr or there’s loads of mobile apps to get the thin color strip dividers like i use.)

similarly, try to make your pinned/navi organized and easy to follow. in my personal opinion, i like adding things like rules/dni, tag guides, and especially masterlists linked somewhere in the post. although, again, it’s up to personal opinion on what exactly you want to link there. as long as it’s organized and somewhat simple, you’re good.

as far as a masterlist and rules go, i would recommend laying out certain things beforehand, like what characters you’re going to write for and hard “no”s. as much as i love people on tumblr, sometimes they just cannot read — it helped me a lot whenever i was new to tell myself “hey, i don’t have to do that. it says that right here and it’s not my fault that they didn’t see that!”

(i also added a little rule that said “if you actually read this, add a ‘<3’ in your asks so i know” LOL it helped me filter requests between who actually cared to read my rules and who didn’t)

add tags to your fics. add so many tags. add many more tags than you think you probably need. add so many tags that you get sick of them — that’s how people are going to find you.

try to keep anonymous asks on, that’s where a lot of interaction comes from. ik people can be dicks sometimes but there’s also a lot of shy people on tumblr. probably 90% of my asks are from anons and i use anon 90% of the time whenever i send asks (especially to my moots bc they’re scary :[ lol)

just generally be nice to people. you don’t have to go out of your way to send love letters to everyone on your feed, but i’ve found that just leaving a little “i hope you enjoy reading this” or something similar as a little note helps my mental for some reason, but it also (hopefully) makes me seem a little less intimidating

#i hope this helped!! if you have any other questions please lmk 🫶 #lore.txt #msg: ghosts

[nono-bunny]

Thoughts from watching the ATLA live action!

I initially wanted this to all be one post but. It got too long and also Tumblr accidentally posted it once instead of just drafting as I asked while I was writing it and I had to reconstruct the whole thing so I'm just going to make one post per episode I think.

So, episode 1!

Oh my god the show really opens on just showing the letters "Capital City", genuinely that's kind of hilarious?? I kinda always thought of it as Caldera City collectively because Capital City sounds dumb (very The Hunger Games of them, ngl) but like... I do recognize that it's only technically the rich district- even so I feel like maybe they should've reimagined that one in particular because honestly it's always been confusing for the capital to have two cities in it (Harbor City is the other one, basically the poor people district). Anyway not a big deal overall, just... Kind of funny to not change this

Truly a weird way to start the show with just some random Earth Kingdom revolutionaries, but based on the fact that I've heard they're not in it I'm just headcanoning it to be Haru and Tyro lmao otherwise it's just. A truly bizarre choice

Oh never mind they're??? Opening before the war??? They literally have Ozai in the first season, why wouldn't they just have a menacing Sozin in a war room, with like maybe some very subtle hints to him grieving someone who died disagreeing with him, and him going forward with it anyway? Idk it's genuinely very strange to open a show with such iconic and recognizable characters by focusing on some random mostly irrelevant people you're never gonna see again because the story takes place a hunder years in the future. I mean, it was a cool fight scene (when I could see it lmao, I wish it wasn't so dark- would've looked great in a cinema but this should have been made for people watching on home screens) but?? Why should I care about these people or what they're doing, either as a veteran who knows they don't matter or as someone new to the story who DOESN'T know that they're never going to see them again?

Oh shit wait, AGAIN??? They keep zagging on me lmao this is like. Exactly what I wanted!! I read they started things off with a lot of fighting and showing the war so I thoght this was what it was but no!! The random guy meets non other than Sozin... Who genuinely looks incredible and does a fantastic job at portraying exactly what I wanted!! I think there's something in the eyes specifically? Like, there's a certain sadness mixed with idealism there, which works really well with how determined, calculating and cold he otherwise is. He feels 100% like the sort of guy who'd reasonably be the ancestor to the mess that is the Royal Family we see during the rest of the show, and I'm genuinely really happy about it! Sozin feels like the sort of madman who believes in his own just and it's perfect, like, the exact vibe I got from him in the original!

Is Gyatso talking to Bryke rn or...?? Lmao fr Aang never learned any of the things he mentions which is why he was a bad Avatar, and why in the end I don't like canon OG Aang. Addressing it in the first episode is extremely bold of the LA tbh, but you know I love to see it! Also everyone was talking about how Aang wasn't silly enough, but literally in the OG he was too silly and never learned to take responsibility or work with others so?? This Aang that is already blending a whimsical air with what seems like a degree of emotional intelligence the original lacked is!! Such an improvement in my eyes, actually! I'm hoping they manage to properly resolve these things this time around, but already their direction with him just within minutes of meeting him feels a lot more palatable to me. Also they rewrote that scene in a way that makes Gyatso infinitely more likeable because now he actually GETS it, OG Gyatso was a kind man but in the end... He was wrong, he coddled Aang too much. Here, in a universe where the Air nomads want to help defend the rest of the world, he recognizes that while Aang is needed, he genuinely isn't capable of helping yet which!! Also feels like an improvement in terms of co-nation relations, it feels like there actually used to be a harmony of sorts before! It will help make the Air Nomads feel less out of place and "out of sight out of mind" in the bad way they were in the original. The Air Nomads already planning to get involved also feels like a way to rid Aang of his idealistic and childhish views of his own culture in a much more direct way than the more subtle approach just showing Gyatso surrounded by skeletons of people he likely killed. Also, again, saw people complain aboit the Air Nomads wanting to get involved being ooc and?? Okay, so? Have you maybe considered that them being so insular that their loss was barely felt in the original whenever they didn't need to make Aang have an emotional moment was a bad thing??? Like, I get that it isn't in line with their characterization, but personally? Them choosing not to get involved in an attempted genocide was always a bad look tbh, and as far as I'm concerned, this is a fix and a way to make them look much better than just like. Hermits unconcerned with the world- they care, they want to help! Honestly overall everyone in the Air Nomads looks so much better here, this feels like a net good in terms of like... Idk Air Nomad publicity lmao. Also, showing the different temples coming together to celebrate is!! Incredible, I wholeheartedly love that addition to the lore!

Ngl tbh so far this feels like a fanfic I'd read, in like. Literally the best possible way

Yo the "Gyatso and Roku were friends" theory looking realll possible rn with that "you will always be my friend" line 👀

Ah so I see what people meant about Aang's characterization in this episode being a bit tell-y rather than show-y, that's fair. That said, it was a really nice scene that established the bond between him and Appa quite well imo! Also now I'm genuinely curious as to whether they'll have him get a bit drunk with power like in the original considering the focus they're putting on how much he needs to NOT do that!

To everyone saying Aang running away was important and should not have been cut- no, it fucking wasn't, it was one of his biggest unresolved character flaws that got ignored when the destroyed his character arc in season 3 and I'm fucking glad it's gone. I do find it interesting that here Aang basically only just finds out about being the Avatar before getting frozen rather than having a bit more time to get used to the idea and see how it changes things for him- it makes it that in a way, this Aang has both a lot more and a lot less baggage! Essentially his entire journey of discovery of what it means to be pronounced the Avatar will happen alongside people who never knew him as anything but, it's an extremely finite and dramatic closing of the chapter of his life where he wasn't the Avatar- it kinda shows he has no room for confusion anymore, he must now become The Avatar because that's essentially his people's last request of him. It's a very different sort of vibe from "I wasn't willing", it's "I wasn't ready", and that is much more easily fixable in a shorter show! Also the og literally just "solved" the willingness issue by having him enjoy the benefits and refuse to do any of the work so. Not sad to see it go at all

Battlefield Sozin?! Firebending rockets?! Wilhelm scream?! Cool battle scene all around tbh, really heartbreakin and difficult to watch, which means they did a good job with it! I do still wish it was brighter though lmao

Uhh forgot to type anything for a while because I was crying but. Yeah I generally really liked the portrayal of life on Wolf Cove! There are definitely some very noticeable changes with our two leads here, and I actually don't think they're necessarily bad, they just feel very strange and might take a bit to get used to. Katara actually isn't passive, which is weird considering that's how a lot of people described her? She's just extremely cautious. All of her defining traits feel like they're still there, but some of them do feel like they're lying a bit under the surface due to her situation which! Makes sense as an alternative way of writing her! Sokka genuinely feels like such a big brother here, I like the emphasis on his sense of responsibility and how he doesn't quite know how to be a real leader yet- it goes very well with a Katara who desperately wants to be a fighter but can't and has to try and blend in. Both of them have very clear aspirations and the traits that will eventually allow them to get to where they want to be, but they're very far from reaching them at the start. A lot of the scenes do feels kinda awkward tbh, but idk, I think they do a fine enough job at what they attempt to.

Now, hearing that Katara wasn't the one to break Aang out in a fit of anger wasn't a deal breaker for me actually, but? Honestly the way he gets out is just needlessly confusing here, genuinely unclear if Katara did it or he just... Idk somehow reacted to another bender's presence or whatever. Idk, it felt extremely weird and I think just like? A bit of clarification here as to what happened could've saved this scene without it having to happen via anger if that's the way they wanna go with Katara, and specifically her relationship with Sokka (which, again, does really feel authentic and well done here imo!)

Aang saying that Katara is the only one who tried to fight for him is fucking wild, but I guess that's the impression he got given that Gyatso told him he had to go away and he didn't hear the meeting about him here. Still a wild thing for him to say, felt really weird right alongside Sokka being the bravest person he ever met. Idk that whole exchange was off and awkward and just... Strange

Iroh doing his best to help and teach Aang when he can is very sweet. Idk how to feel about how hard he's already going in on the whole "your daddy doesn't love you" thing with Zuko tbh, because it does make Zuko appear much less lost when he's got someone who's giving him the answers rather than leading him to them, it's kinda a book 2 vibe from them? It's strange. Also a straight talking Iroh feels so strange in general, literally his only "eccentric" quality so far is loving Jasmine tea and very clearly not being down with the war, it's... Certainly A Choice, but not one I'm really enjoying so far tbh

There's something really interesting about Katara immediately relaxing and allowing herself to be silly and mischievous around Sokka here, it's kind of a flip from their dynamic in the original but there's something really fun and sweet about seeing those hidden aspects of her come out around the one person she knows and trusts to accept and protect her just as fiercely as she would him. It's definitely different, but I'm genuinely really enjoying the unique spin they put on their relationship and how it correlates with their own individual personalities and how they perceive and present themselves.

Taking the burden of always being the only one who can bring Aang out of the Avatar State away from Katara feels like a big relief. Also in general I like the way they still kept Aang's attachment to Gyatso and his parallels with Katara, while also solidifying Sokka and Aang friendship which wasn't really... A thing in the original? Having Sokka protect and reach out to Aang feels much more personal here in a way than it did originally, I think maybe the weird scene where Aang praises them kinda worked to serve that? Idk I've read people saying they don't feel like a family but more like friends here but. They never did in the original in season 1 either tbh. If anything there's a sense of everyone being equal here which the original lacked in places, I like how both Sokka and Katara support and save Aang in equal measure here and how they look out for each other as well. Aang is kinda naturally a mess this whole episode but here's hoping he returns the favor for them for once in the future!

Edit: dammit Tumblr literally just did it again I didn't mean to post this yet, but I'm kind of at the end of the episode so fuck it, it stays I don't wanna reconstruct it in the drafts again. If I have anything to add it'll go after this.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #atla live action #avatar the last airbender live action #natla

[marrfixated]

Pinned post/My info:

Last updated April 14, 2024

TL;DR: Marr, he/she/they/any, neurodivergent, Total Drama (Alenoah, Priyemma, etc), fanfiction, sideblog @priyemma

Fucking around and finding out

My name is Marr! I use He/She/They and any pronouns. I’m Omni, Bigender, and Aspec. Playing around with some labels for now, but I feel pretty comfortable with these. I’m okay with any gendered terms, so just pick the one that looks the best in the sentence lmao.

I have ADHD and anxiety (both diagnosed) along with other things, but those are the ones I’ll probably talk about on here the most. I’m mixed White and Latina (plus Native) but (probably?) white passing. I speak English and want to learn Spanish, but I’m definitely not fluent.

Right now im really into Total Drama. It’s one of my longest lasting hyperfixations so far! I also post about a few other things, like House M.D and Dungeon Meshi. (More likely reblogging those things though.)

Specifically in Total Drama I mostly post about Alenoah and Priyemma. Recently been talking about the newest Reboot season (and my complaints with it). I talk the most about World Tour and TDI 2023 because it’s been a while since I’ve watched all the seasons and those are the ones I remember the best. I plan to rewatch them all… someday. I haven’t even finished watching reboot s2 because it’s painful!

I love shipping! I can’t even list them all because there’s so many tbh. I am very much a multi shipper and I constantly am finding new things to ship! I try to not engage in ship hate ever, but sometimes I slip up lol. I post some less-than-positive content about Nemma on occasion or Juliayne… everything that could be considered ship hate is tagged as such and never tagged with the ship that is being slandered.

I can’t really draw, so if I ever post my beginner drawings please be nice lol 😭 I’m still developing a style and learning. I have many, many WIPs that I might share here and there. I do really want to be able to draw confidently and make art for the things I love!

I’ve started writing fanfiction again lately! It’s a struggle for a lot of reasons. Props to everyone who writes fics because it’s hard. It takes me hella long too! I usually get out at least one a month. My user is Marrfixated on AO3, feel free to leave comments or kudos!

I’ve written four Alenoah oneshots so far. Most recently posted Contra Entendre, so go read that! I have 3 other oneshots that are somewhat written and I’ll post someday, but I’ve shifted my focus to planning some longer fics. I currently have an Alenoah AU and a Priyemma post-canon fic in the works!

I also have tiktok @Marrfixated. Recently I’ve been posting on tumblr more than TikTok because it’s easier, but I started off there. I don’t really use anything else yet (except ao3). Don’t post on TikTok as much as I do on here atm, but I do use it. I also have a Priyemma centric sideblog on here (@priyemma), where I’ll sometimes repost content from and vice versa.

You’re on thin ice if you engage in ship discourse, constantly hate on ship I like (it makes me sad 💔), or are a dsmp fan/an enjoyer of any of Vivziepop’s works (I don’t like you).

Proshippers DNI. Zionists DNI. Vivziepop defenders DNI. Dream supporters DNI. Dsmp supporters also DNI. Do some damn research.

I might post suggestive things here sometimes, but I don’t think I ever have or will post any extremely nsfw content. I don’t plan to EVER post nsfw or suggestive related content related to td, it makes me uncomfortable as most of the characters are minors. (Any smut I would write would not be td related and kept only on my ao3 rather than shared on here.) I do curse a lot, and reclaim the f slur some times. Please don’t engage in ship discourse on my account for no reason! That’s no fun.

I usually take like 3 years to answer asks or dms or whatnot for various reasons… but I swear I don’t mean any offense! I just um forget sometimes 😇 Or I post it to drafts instead… or I get nervous 😶 and sometimes idk if you just sent it or want me to actually respond so I just guess? Ummm yeah. Also they go missing a lot. Probably have to figure that out. Oops!

I reblog a lot so right now I’m trying to tag all my original posts as #original post. Lazy posts are usually tagged with #shitpost. Random posts are usually tagged as #nonfandom post. My td fics are tagged as #my fanfiction.

That’s it!

#original post

[daycourtofficial]

Hi - I love your fic recs but the only one I haven’t read is practice on me. I tend to really struggle with a series because I need angst to be resolved like immediately (I’m a full on child I realise😭😭)

Do you have any Azriel series recs that aren’t too heavy on angst?? I have pretty much exhausted all tumblr one shots😂

I love your writing and trust your recommendations explicitly :)) xx

Okay so I won’t recommend any ongoing series bc you never know when the angst will come up.

Honestly I don’t read a ton of series 😅 I used to be a one-shot only girlie but then I read Under the Mistletoe by @writingsbychlo . I used to be staunchly against reading serialized fanfiction (I don’t know why! I think because I hated keeping up with multiple ongoing fics) until I read this a few months ago. It also fits the bill of mostly fluff - I’m actually not even sure if there’s angst in it at all.

Honestly it’s not a series but @writingcroissant writes fantastic fluffy one-shots (her established relationship ones are fantastic).

I’m kinda blanking rn on fluff bc I feel like this fandom focuses a lot on angst because there’s soooo much potential for it (and that’s not me being negative - this world just has so many ways to hurt you!)

I suppose I should self promote my series Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor for this. Now the most recent chapter does have angst, but that will be resolved pretty quickly tbh. I can’t let the angst settle for too long.

Not to self promote a second time on my own post either but I already have plans for the next series I’ll write after the one I’m working on is done and that one will be very fluffy, probably little to no angst, just pining lmao

I was tagged in a few fic recs recently - 1, 2 so maybe those can help you find other fluffy one-shots.

I’m honestly kind of blanking rn but if anyone has any fluffy series recs please drop them.

#ask #recs #sorry I couldn’t be more help anin

[okay-j-hannah]

Hii hannah! I'm bout three months late because i had exams going on, well, I still have exams going on but I decided to not procrastinate and just write this.

Thank you so so much for writing my tenth doctor and rory requests. you don't know how much it means that you took time out of your life to write my requests. when I first started watching Doctor who, barely a season in, i stumbled upon your blog and read your dying girl story, i didn't even know anything properly bout doctor's character or other companions but your fic though! it captured doctor's character so well! It was in May I read it and started watching the show and I now always connect that time with doctor who and you and your fics haha. 

 I got so obsessed that I made this dying girl reader universe in my head with headcanons and stuff and started associating songs to the reader and fic ; i know they are like kinda popular cliche songs but snowman by sia and never be the same by camila cabelo really reminds me of the amy and rorys wedding scene with reader and doctor dancing (was it real or I made that up in my head?) and memory of reader practising mind reading thing and seeing memories of Doctor and she's like who's this beautiful person in his memories and doctor is like that's you love <3 moonlight serenade, spring waltz, we'll meet again, moon river, across the universe are some other songs I associate with them,, you didn't even ask for playlist but here I'm sharing it just because lmao 

and then you wrote my ten request and added it dying girl universe, when I tell you actually started screaming from excitement when I saw it! I really wasn't expecting it, i was so so happy! And Idk why but I just feel so honoured that my request was added into the "official" dying girl universe masterlist! and the rory fic too, it was so sweet! you wrote it exactly as what I had in my mind when I sent you request, tysm for that! 

Ngl I always checked your page once in a while when you were on break because I just looked forward to your writing so much and in January, around my birthday, found out you were active again and posted my requests and gotta say, best birthday gift even if it technically wasn't lol. I wonder if you've finished twelve's episodes, you mentioned how it is hard to "let go" of a doctor and I completely agree,  I finishesed twelfth doctors episodes in December and God was it hard to say goodbye to him, I know I can rewatch but it won't be like first time :'( you know, the "i love my current doctor so much" feeling?

I've started thirteen but it doesn't feel the same, especially without murray gold's music and well, moffat and rtd. so glad that rtd is coming back for new seasons though!

Oh and have you read love is a choice fic on tumblr? it's a mostly eleven but also kinda thirteen x reader multiple parts series and tbh, one of the only fic that made me laugh and cry like dying girl series did. if you haven't i hope you check it out, it's a great read!

Kinda unrelated but can I just say ty to that person who sent you ask related to will turner, i recently watched one of the potc movie for the first time because i thought the will turner guy looked cute from the ask and now ive fallen down a rabbit hole lol I finished your will turner fics and now im searching up tumblr for more will turner x reader, it seems he's my new hyperfixation 😭 anyways ty again to that person and you ofc for the fics, and this is not a official request(it could be ig) but I hope you write second part to the merchant/pirate will fic!

And I've sent you two requests this time too, hope you'll like them enough to write it! I know I've said it lot in this single ask but Again thank you so much for everything and it's great to have you back on here and I hope you enjoyed your break, remember to take them again if you need to <333

My darling, my dearest, my love, you're making my heart so so happy!

I love that you took off with the Dying Girl universe because honestly that's what it became for me while I was writing it. It became so big I knew I could write so much about what happens in between the parts, and your request fit perfectly there.

Thank you for the playlist 😂 it does kind of bring the characters more to life when you associate them with things like songs. And you definitely didn't make up the wedding dancing scene, that happened in Part 6: The Lost Shoes!

I totally understand finding yourself fully immersed in a story, even if it is fanfiction. When that happens to me I just write and post it on here 😅 That's happened with the Dying Girl and the episodic series I started for the Eleventh Doctor and the Samwise Gamgee series and this Mandalorian one I'm starting.

My brain is hardwired to come up with these random tangents to canon stories, and they end up becoming these elaborate fanfictions.

I'm so glad you liked your requested fics! I had a lot of fun writing them. The Domestic fic was so fun to get back into the Dying Girl universe. I wouldn't mind writing more about their in between adventures. Happy belated birthday!

I have not finished twelves episodes - I'm still on his last season. Just like I wrote on our last conversation, I'm terrified of how sad I'll feel when he leaves because ten and eleven were real heartbreakers. I agree, I love him, and I'm so excited you requested something for him.

And I'm also so stoked for the new seasons with RTD and the 60th specials with ✨David Tennant✨ I'll have to finish twelve and thirteen before that comes out at the end of this year.

I haven't read "Love is a Choice" but I immediately looked it up and added it to my likes, so perhaps it'll be the fanfics I read when I try to sleep tonight lol

And I'm sorry... you hadn't seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean!? I've been watching those movies since I was like seven! It's such a great fandom and Jack Sparrow is such a mood and Will Turner is such a dreamboat.

I'm almost honored that my blog prompted you to watch such an excellent franchise. I also hyperfixate on new characters and fandoms I love. I do have one request in my inbox for Will Turner and I've gotten multiple messages to write a part 2 for A Merchant Sailor, so perhaps when I finish this batch of requests I'll add it to the list.

So do expect more Will Turner fics to come 😘

I love that we have this little pen pal relationship where we just write each other letters 😂 It's honestly really good to hear from you, mysterious anon. I'm happy to have you as a reader and fandom friend.

Thank you for reaching out! I definitely love your requests! It'll just take me a while to get to all of them with my busy schedule, but I will write them in due course.

Have a lovely night and a good morning!

Prologue: The Dying Girl

Part 1: The Sun God

Part 2: The Tonic 

Part 3: The Ending Song

Domestic: The Doctor returns to spend a few ‘human’ days with you {Set during Part 3}

Part 4: The Dream 

Part 5: The Regeneration

Part 6: The Lost Shoes

Epilogue: The Vanishing Act

Finale: All Of Time And Space

A Merchant Sailor: Pretending to be a merchant, you befriend Will Turner as you keep your pirating a secret, until your brother forces you to reveal the truth

Blacksmith’s Hands: While visiting Tortuga, you find yourself injured and in the capable hands of a shy Will Turner

Lovey Dovey: Jack has never been overjoyed at the thought of you and your boyfriend - especially when you’re kissing on his ship

Sea Salt: On a mission to get you back, more might happen between you two than expected

#tenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #twelfth doctor x reader #will turner x reader #okayjhannah question #okayjhannah #anon ask okay j hannah #okayjhannah answer #okay j hannah #hannahbeartalks #fandomfantasia

[deadn30n]

despite one very minor annoyance, i'm finishing off 2023 in the rpc in a pretty good place i gotta say

things have drastically changed from the years when i first began writing here ( probably around 2010 and beyond ) but not all of it is bad change. sure, the website is in shambles and all the old functions i was so familiar with are gone. the ease and comfort of old tumblr can only be found in xkit now, but... aside from that, i feel as though the website has actually significantly mellowed out from all those years ago. i mean i could sit here and list you off the horror stories from back then.... being irl stalked, being plagiarized, every day there'd be some kind of new senseless callout drowning out the actual predators, etc

i dunno things just feel.... different, and in a good way. i think every place has it's bad and it's good, but coming from someone who's been using this website now for almost 14 years, i can say that the good here far, FAR outweighs the negative by a significant amount. and now that i'm older with much more life experience under my belt, there's a lot less that affects me and i'm a lot less tolerant of the bullshit than what i used to put up with back then.

god i remember getting ridden with anxiety over the smallest of things, and now i'm like. if you've got a problem with me and you're too much of a coward to talk to me about it, then it just isn't my problem and i think that's a mindset that would benefit a lot of people tbh. you have to remember; you're not a mindreader and you can't solve any problems if someone isn't willing to bring it to you. it sounds a bit harsh BUT you are only one person and you can only do so much. communication is a two way street, and if someone isn't willing to make that first step, then why should you worry about it? it's not your problem, it's THEIR'S and it's their responsibility, not your own.

you can't fix something you aren't even aware of. and if there's one thing i've learned in the many, many years i've been on the internet, it's that if you want to keep healthy, long term friendships & relationships, you have to be willing and comfortable to voice your feelings with someone else as much as you have to be willing and comfortable enough to acknowledge when you've fucked up. to apologize and rectify that behaviour, and accept the consequences.

'cause if you can't, you're going to be stuck in a stasis for the rest of your life, and it's something i saw VERY RAMPANT back in the early days of the rpc on this site. people unwilling to communicate, and when they did, the other party unwilling to apologize or fix their behaviour. changing names, pronouns, aliases... the works. i'm sure it still happens, but i haven't observed much at all since being back other than having a dash full of very wonderful people. :> so thank you for making my dashboard such a lovely place, and thank you for letting me end 2023 in such a great spot ♥

idk what the point of this whole post was i was just rambling to myself mostly LMAO imma write now, i got plenty of time to since it's another rest day for all of us on the vacation pfff

#« ooc tag. » #does a little boogie woogie woogie #basically all i'm saying is that i appreciate how positively the community has changed #and how it seems 90% of the nastiest souls that used to dwell in the rpc have finally moved on #and i'm not constantly looking over my shoulder taking careful steps to make sure i'm not following someone #who's changed their whole shtick to hide after a callout #which happened A LOT back then #it was crazy the way people would just rewrite themselves entirely to avoid the consequences of their actions #it was actually kinda freaky LMAO

[marshmellowtea]

um. so. y'all are not going to believe this but i've had this goddamn fic finished for MONTHS but i fucking FORGOT??? IT WAS HERE??? IT'S JUST BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS BECAUSE I FORGOR I HAD THIS BASICALLY FINISHED FIC JUST WAITING TO BE EDITED AND PUBLISHED HGKLDSJFLKSD 😭

ahem. anyway. sorry for yelling lmao. onto the actual fic summary—basically, i decided to write this silly little thing about human, arospec lila trying to talk about a newly formed crush with an aroacespec will. it's very silly and fluffy and writing it made me giggle a lot, don't expect much angst here, aside from like a sprinkling of it for flavor lmao. that being said, small warning for some toxic queerplatonic partner vibes between will and lila, but the vibe is still mostly lighthearted, it's not too heavy or extreme. also, they're working on it, okay :') they're teenagers who grew up in abusive/traumatizing environments (which isn't referenced in the fic but it definitely shapes the way i characterize them), they don't exactly know how to navigate a healthy relationship yet but they're trying goddammit dskjfkdsafj

.....uh, if it's not obvious, i don't remember how i do summaries on tumblr fics ngl. there'll probably be a cleaner one when this gets posted onto ao3 in a day or two, so watch out for that if you'd prefer to read this on there :P tbh depending on how tired i am when i get home from work i might just go ahead and post it on there later today anyway oops

anyway, onto the fic now, hope y'all enjoy! :)

William's curled up on his side, his upper body in Lila's lap and her hands kneading though his hair in a way that mostly feels good, when she suddenly asks the question.

"Is it called a crush because you want to crush them?"

If this were closer to the beginning of their friendship, when he wasn't already used to weird comments like these from her, William might've sat up in shock, giving her a wide eyed expression of surprise she loves to make fun of him for. This is far from the most outrageous thing she's ever said to him at this point, however, so instead, he just furrows his brow and shifts in her lap a little, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"Lila, what on earth are you talking about...?"

She's quiet for a moment, her hands pausing in his hair. He lets out a little whine at the loss of feeling, and she huffs softly before continuing, using a little bit more of her nails than she was before.

"Let's say...like...maybe there's this person someone thinks is...pretty," she says, the words awkward and stilted in a way he's never heard from her before. "And because they're so pretty, that person keeps...fantasizing about...squeezing them. In their arms. Or under them."

"Ew," he says on instinct, his fingers moving to fiddle with the black ring around the middle finger of his left hand. "Is this hypothetical person you, Lila?"

"No, dumbass!" she says, and, well, that almost sounds convincing. "I'm just...asking. For a friend."

"But I'm your only friend?" he asks, genuinely confused. His confusion then turns to pain, however, as she pulls on his hair—apparently she found that insulting. "Ow! Lila!"

"I have friends. Mainly friends you picked out for us—" and here, she huffs, sounding put upon about his choice in companionship, as though she has no choice in whether she hangs out with them too, "—but friends nonetheless."

...okay, admittedly, he understands where the offense came from now. But still, she claims that he's her only friend enough that of course he would make that assumption, and it's kind of not fair for her to punish him for words he's repeating from her. And also, he must reiterate, ow.

"Anyway, it's for a friend," she insists, sounding a bit wounded. "God. Don't be a smartass, Will, it's not flattering on you."

"I'm not trying to be a smartass, you're just—ugh, nevermind," he grumbles, letting his eyes flutter open and sulking at a vague point in the distance. His hand drifts toward the hem of her skirt, and he plays with it absently, rubbing his fingers over the soft fabric. "Putting all that aside, well...um, sorry to your friend, but I don't think I'm the right person to ask about that. I still don't really...understand all that stuff."

"Ugh, right, I forgot you were a fucking loser."

"I'm not a loser!" he protests, but he immediately feels childish for it. He flips onto his stomach to hide his face in her lap, and is instantly rewarded with one of her hands on the nape of his neck, a warm, comforting weight. "That stuff is just...really complicated..."

"Yeah, well, that's cuz you're a loser who's bad with people, it's okay to admit it."

There's a twinge of fondness to the insult, and despite himself, he finds himself smiling a little at her tone. Still, he decides to retaliate by lightly pinching her on the calf, just under the crook of her knee.

"Ow! Will!"

She then retaliates to him by pulling on his hair again, harder this time despite only using one hand this time. He lets out a sharp cry of pain and smacks her on the knee, pulling out of her lap briefly to escape her wrath. She drops her hands once he's fully off of her and sitting up on his knees, and he scowls at her unamusedly. She scowls back at him, the two of them staring at each other for a moment with equal mild annoyance.

Then, face unchanging, Lila pats her thigh, looking even more annoyed when he doesn't immediately lay back down. "Well?"

He huffs, but obliges, flopping back in her lap, this time on his back so he can continue to scowl at her. One of her hands returns to his hair, and the other one grabs one of his hands, though it feels less like she's just trying to hold his hand and more like she's trying to restrain him from pinching her again. Which, really, is super unfair, given that he only pinched her because she was being mean to him. And she pulled his hair first. And because she always does shit like that to him, and he deserves a chance to defend himself...

...but she is petting his hair in a way he likes again, and her face has softened a little, her lips now in that tiny but genuine sort of half smile he's only seen her use on him. He smiles back at her, wobbly and crooked but just as genuine, letting out a little laugh despite how genuinely annoyed he was moments prior.

"You're the worst," he says, and though he kind of means it he also says it with all the affection in the world. "I am sorry I can't answer your question, though."

"Hey, you also suck," Lila says back, but she coos it in the same tone you'd use on a mischievous kitten. "And it's fine, honestly. It wasn't a serious question, anyway. I was just wondering."

They fall quiet for a moment, and William's eyes fall to their enjoined hands, watching as Lila idly traces his fingers with her thumb. He's struck, then, with the oddest thought—that being, the thought that he does love her, in some weird way, despite the constant bickering and occasional minor physical attacks. That no matter how hard she makes it for him, he cares about her, and he wishes she would let him do that without constantly trying to fight on him on it. That he's glad she loves him too, in her own weird way, because he knows she does but he rarely gets to hear her say it out loud.

Not that he could ever say all that to her, of course. She'd probably just make fun of him.

Instead, he says, "If it is you with the crush...you know I'd be here to listen if you wanted to talk about it, right?"

He's fully prepared to let the conversation end there, but she surprises him by letting out a sigh and saying, "I don't even know if it is a crush."

He raises his eyebrows at that, trying not to get too excited at the information he was just given. She'd hate it if he said it out loud, but she's really easy to scare away on these rare moments where she's being open or vulnerable. "What do you mean?" he asks, trying not to let his voice soften too much.

She groans loudly at that, but she hasn't stopped talking, which, score. "I dunno, William, like...the crush question was kind of a joke? But it also kind of wasn't?"

"...elaborate?"

She groans louder, loud enough to startle him a little. She must feel him jump, because she gives his forehead a light pat before entangling her fingers back in his curls, the hair petting having mostly stopped now. "When I think about this person...I want to hold them as tight as possible and not let go. And squeeze their hand and just...hold it. And..." She grimaces, like it pains her to admit it. "And kiss them, maybe. On their stupid fucking face. Among...other things that I suppose I will graciously spare you."

She taps his ring as she says that, making him giggle. "Thank you. I appreciate that," he says, smiling broadly up at her for a moment, before his face falls back into an inquisitive frown. "Uh, but, Lila? I'm no expert, but that...kind of sounds like a crush? I think?"

Lila chews on her lip for a moment, as if considering what she's going to say next. When she finally speaks, William feels his heart cease to beat in his chest.

"I know, but like...a lot of that is stuff I want to do with you."

William feels his face grow hot, and he stammers, ice cold panic rushing through his veins. Yeah, he loves Lila, but it's not—it's not like that, he's not comfortable with—she knows he's not—

"Not the—not the sex stuff!" Lila says suddenly, giving him a harsh shake. "I didn't say I wanted to do all of that with you, take a fucking breath, Will!"

Oh, he did stop breathing for a second there, didn't he? He inhales deeply as she told him to, letting her lightly push him upright into a sitting position on the bed. He twists around a bit so the two of them are side by side, and she immediately tugs him closer until his head is on her shoulder, awkwardly patting his back in a way he thinks she thinks is comforting. It's a little much, honestly, given that his moment of panic really was just a moment—it was instant relief hearing that she wasn't into him in that way, and it was kind of silly for his brain to jump to that conclusion in the first place anyway since he mostly knows where they'd drawn the lines in their relationship, even if they've never properly talked about it—but he likes these rare occasions where she attempts to fuss over him, so he's not going to protest it. It's kind of sweet, really, even if it's obvious that she has no idea how to comfort another human being.

"Ugh," she says, sounding more embarrassed than exasperated. "Ugh, I said that in the stupidest way, sorry." Then, after a pause, she adds, "I mean...it's all just stupid, anyway."

"Aww, no it's not," William says gently, very comfortable in his place nestled against her side. "I guess I get what you mean though. I know I don't have a crush on you, but I like cuddling you and stuff. I'd also feel weird if I suddenly felt the same thing toward someone else but with...other stuff too."

"Yeah," Lila says, sounding mopey. Probably because she's moping, if he had to guess. "It's not just that, either, wanting to touch this person the way I touch you also feels...different. Different in a way that's hard to pin down." She grabs his hand, having lost it in the shuffle of him sitting up, and once again starts tracing his fingers, running her thumb from the back of his hand, over his knuckles, down to his fingernails. "Like when I do this, it's nice, but I don't do it and think about you as my boyfriend. That'd be disgusting."

William barks out a laugh at that. Technically, it could be an insult toward him, but... "I understand what you're getting at, yeah. I want to be close to you, but you're not, like, my girlfriend or anything, and I wouldn't really want you to be. You're just my friend, but, like...a friend I want to cuddle sometimes."

"Stop saying that we cuddle," Lila scoffs, but the usual harshness of her tone is still rather muted. "But...yeah. Exactly. It's different, and it's weird."

William hums sympathetically, giving her arm a light pat. "Yeah," he says quietly. "That does sound weird." Then, after a pause, "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you more."

Lila huffs, letting her cheek rest against his head. "I wish you could help me more too," she bemoans, interlocking their fingers and giving his hand a light squeeze. "But, whatever. Just talking about it was nice, so you're not completely useless..."

Once again, William just chuckles at that. He can hear the unsaid Thank you in her voice, and he appreciates it, even if he does wish she would just be straightforwardly nice to him sometimes. Hell, not even just to him, oftentimes he wishes she would be nice in general.

But...she's working on it. He thinks. There's been a notable difference in the way she speaks to Martha, Ellie, and Regina, anyway. She's still on guard around Jim and Mike, and god, he doesn't really know what her deal with Tanya is, but she's friendlier with those three, at least. And...she's been more gentle with him, too. At the very least there's been less pinching.

He's proud of her. Which is another thing he can't tell her if he doesn't want her to laugh in his face, but, hey. Maybe one of these days.

"...you wanna lay down now?"

Her question pulls him out of his introspection, and William hums in assent, finally pulling his head off of her shoulder. "Are we gonna take a nap now?" he asks, rubbing at his face absently. "I got pretty close to falling asleep before, well, you know."

She sniffs, pulling her legs up on the bed and stretching out behind him, her arms and legs reaching each end of the mattress before she rolls back onto her side and brings them back in again. "I mean, you can sleep if you want. I don't know if I will."

"You're not at all tired?" he asks, curling up on his side next to her. They're face to face, now, and he can see the exhaustion in her face, as well as the slight flush left over from their conversation.

"Not really," she sniffs. "I mean, I don't think I am enough to fall asleep. I just want to rest my eyes a little."

"Oh, okay," he says, scooting a little closer to her. "I might fall asleep. You didn't want to talk more, did you?"

Lila shakes her head rather than verbally answer, and William smiles to himself. She's probably going to fall asleep too, judging by the way she's gotten quieter, but even if she doesn't, he knows she'll let him sleep if he needs to. Unless something important happens. Or if she gets too bored, which is something important in Lila's eyes.

She kind of is the worst, but luckily for her, he kind of does love her.

He lets his eyes fall closed then, pressing further into her warmth until he's tucked up under her chin. She doesn't fight him on it, instead wrapping a loose arm over him, and he knows he's very close to drifting off when he hears her ask one last thing.

"You're really not going to ask who my hypothetical crush is on, are you?"

It's an interesting remark—it almost sounds like she's disappointed. Still, it's not interesting enough for him to open his eyes. "I kinda figured I wouldn't be able to get it out of you," he mumbles, his voice muffled by her collarbone. "Why?"

"...I dunno. I just thought you would ask," she says, starting to sound close to sleep herself.

"Did you want me too?"

"No." She says it too quickly. And then amends, "Maybe..."

He laughs sleepily, resting one curled up hand on the small of her waist, wanting to be closer, trying to absorb the warmth she's emanating—she's always run weirdly warm, while he runs weirdly cold. He tries not too think too hard about the way that makes them fit so well together. "Tell you what. When I wake up, I'll pester you about it as much as you want me to. Is that okay?"

"I didn't want you to pester me," she protests, scowl audible in her voice. "Just ask."

He laughs again, suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of contentment. "'m gonna pester you so hard," he mumbles, picturing the dirty look he knows she's giving him despite his still closed eyes. "'m not gonna leave you alone until you give me answers. S'only fair."

"How's that fair?"

"I mean...you pester me when I try to keep secrets from you."

"I don't..." Lila protests, but she sounds amusingly unsure. "Besides, since when did you try to keep secrets from me anyway...?"

"Mm. I stopped tryin' cuz you'd always get them outta me."

"Well, that just sounds like your fault."

"...maybe you've got me there," he mumbles, chuckling softly. "I jus' think it's my turn to needle somethin' out of you this time, mmkay?"

"Yeah, well, good luck with that," Lila grumbles, making him giggle more.

The two of them then lapse into a comfortable silence, aside from their quiet breathing. William is just about asleep when he feels more than hears Lila murmur something against his hair.

"Love you, Will. No matter what happens."

He smiles widely at that. She must think he's asleep—rarely does she say that she loves him without him saying it first. Even then, he usually receives it with a (nonetheless fond) eye roll, so hearing it now sounding so genuine is a nice treat.

"Love you too, Lila," he mumbles back, his voice slurred from exhaustion. "Love you so so much."

Given the way she tenses, he was probably right in thinking that she thought he was asleep. Still, she doesn't respond with a protest or a quip like she normally does, whether because of her tiredness, or maybe she just wanted to let a nice moment linger for once. Either way, he'll count that as a win.

It doesn't take him long to drift off after that, the smile not leaving his face even as he sleeps.

#who's lila #who's lila? #william clarke #lila #will/lila #queerplatonically but still. them :) <3 #also #implied lila/tanya #it's vague about who's she's crushing on tbh but that's the authorial intent lmao #if you wanna read it as another ship i don't really mind tbh but if i theoretically add another installment to this au just know #that that's where this is heading lol #marshy writes #this'll end up on the main account and not the side account cuz there's no agere and/or whump here #i mean some whump fics end up on main. it's about the vibes #but this doesn't have whump so that automatically puts this on main #and frankly i rarely post to my main ao3 account anyway so it needs some love okay #i know none of y'all asked but ahglkasdjfklds #on the off chance someone was curious? maybe? #yeah idk lmao anyway. expect this on ao3 soon 👍

[edienotsedgwick]

Introduction again

It’s been a while since my last pinned post and a lot has changed. I deleted it cause I decided I wanted a new one.

The basics

My name is Edie

I’m from Aotearoa/New Zealand.

I’m 20

She/her

I’m autistic (likely autHD actually but the ADHD hasn’t been diagnosed yet)

I’m a lesbian

I’m an animation student on the weekdays, a musician and a essay writer on the weekends.

Aquarius sun, Capricorn moon, Aries rising

INFJ

A witch who’s extremely lazy with her craft.

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2014! You may have known me from…

Many cartoon fandoms. Too many to count. (Spanning from 2014-16)

Emo bandom tumblr circa 2017-18. Particularly the Fueled By Ramen/Decaydance bandom.

Early Scenecore tumblr in 2018. (I still have a few selfies and hit posts from then gaining notes).

Britpop/early alternative music bandom 2019-2021

And since then I’ve just kind of been doing my own thing and mainly using this blog as a personal moodboard and an outlet to post ideas I don’t want to share anywhere else. I do post about a lot of things I like, but I’m not tied heavily to fandoms anymore - I mostly just lurk. That being said though, don’t be afraid to talk if you share a particular interest with me. I always need to infodump!

What I post

Stuff I find pretty. This blog is mainly a moodboard. I keep wanting to expand out of it but I always give up at some point.

Stuff that makes my brain go brrrrr! Mainly bands + shows.

Music stuff! I mainly like to post lyrics from songs I’m writing that are a work in progress, and sloppy covers/demos that I feel aren’t polished enough for my other socials. I also do cheeky self promo of my songs that you can already listen to. You guys should stream my E.P ‘Thing Is Me’.

I’ve been aspiring to write long form essays about things I’ve been passionate about for ages. I don’t think I’ll directly post them here, but once I get my Substack up and running you’ll be able to see them getting crossposted here.

Stuff I like

Feel free to talk to me about any of these things cause they’re my main special interests!

Music history from the 60s-2000s. In terms of what specific period I’ve jumped to at the moment, I’m fixated on mid-late 2000s indie music, twee pop of any era (mid 80s-present tbh), + some of my old favourite scene bands lmao. I’ve been nostalgic for them lately.

Skins UK (yes I know how 2014 and sad of me). I’m a Cassie apologist so leave me alone if you think she sucks lmao. That’s my Blorbina and my adopted little sister who’s currently got a song + a Substack essay series being written about her. In all seriousness though, I find this show to be very misunderstood in general.

Sighthounds! I love all dogs in general but the pointy ones are my favourites. I have a Greyhound, he’s my best friend :,) When I move into my own home one day I want to have another Greyhound + a Borzoi!

This is a very casual one of mine but (in case you can’t tell from what I mostly reblog here) I love fashion! My fashion tastes span the same general group of decades that my music history knowledge does. Much like my current music fixations I’ve been inspired by the late 2000s, but what I actually wear on a day to day basis is never one particular style. I mix and match a lot.

bla bla bla DNI time

Don’t follow if…

You meet the typical DNI criteria (no ists or phobes of any kind please! Just basic bare minimum human decency)

No pro ana (one of my special interests being skins + me seeing myself in a disordered character you made the face of your little circle does not give you a pro ana free pass around me. I’m not disordered myself + I ask you don’t follow me because I don’t want to accidentally trigger anyone by letting people of your group in my space.)

Same goes for general S/H blogs!

That being said, if you are already vulnerable seeing me potentially reference any of these sensitive topics in anything I post/talk about don’t follow me for the sake of your own well-being if you know it will be triggering to you. Stay safe ILY. I do try and tag though and you can always ask me to do that if you wish.

No creeps of any kind! Please do not send me anything sexual, or talk to me about anything sexual unsolicited you will be blocked immediately.

Okay that’s everything! If you’re cool I hope you enjoy following me. Please listen to my music. ‘Edie VC’ on every platform if you want to. You’ll like it if you like twee/folk/dream pop Xx

All the tags below are for my interests, aesthetics that people could say match my vibe, as well as my face tag (if you want to know what I look like) and my text tag. Hopefully I can make some cool new mutuals.

#edie TxT #my face #pinned post #indie musician #alternative #coquette #indie sleaze #retro #twee #late 2000s #skins uk #pink aesthetic #hyperfeminine #hipster #scenester #soft grunge #indie pop #indie rock #dream pop #indie folk #twee pop #indiepop #indie girl #alt girl #Spotify

[da-proti-toku-grem]

🌿 🐚 and 🎨

Ohh these are interesting 👀 Thanks for the ask anon <3

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Okay I'm no expert here (I've been writing for roughly 3 months 😅), so I'd just take it easy on yourself and don't push yourself. I know it's the typical advice that everyone gives you, but it really works. Sometimes we try to push ourselves too much when our brains are not cooperating and compare ourselves to others, but just remember that you're not "too slow" - there are people that are faster and there are others that are slower and that's completely okay! Just take all the time you need and enjoy the journey as much as you can <3

Also, if what you're struggling is with low creativity, I really recommend doing one of those ask games and letting people request different prompts! I started doing the kiss prompts (you can find the original post here if you're interested) when I lost motivation for my fic and they actually helped me SO much. I thought I had absolutely no creativity, but then someone requested a number for whatever ship and I got so many ideas. Like that list, there so many around here on tumblr, I'm pretty sure you can find something that will help you :). And, if you don't want to ask people or something you can still use the prompts anyway! Just search for some, think of a ship you like and let your imagination fly 🩷

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

Idk if this means in fics or just in general but I guess it depends? I do like little surprises like when someone randomly gives you a gift or smth like that, but when it comes to big surprises like a surprise birthday party... It's not like I hate it or something and I really appreciate the effort (I myself have organized quite a few surprise parties for my friends), but those kind of situation give me so much anxiety and I prefer to mentally prepare myself before, so if you throw me a surprise party (a successful one that I don't expect At All) I'll probably have an anxiety attack lmao 😭

BUT when it comes to books/fics (or movies/series as well), I do love surprises. I guess it's mostly because I'm generally good at guessing how they're going to end, so I love when there's some plot twists that I didn't see coming hehe

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

Aaaaa it's impossible to choose just one! This fandom is so full of talented artists and I love every single one of them!!

I'm going to link a few of my favorite pieces tho <3

- this, this & this animation from @flananjan - I think that just telling you that I spent way too long to choose which ones to shares explains it all. I just want to eat every single one of their art pieces :3 (Also special mention to this one they made because of an ask I sent because it's SO cute 🥹)

- this & this (and the whole red dress series) from @luluxa - the Christmas one is SO adorable it had me head in hands crying, and the one from Damon's pics is just so cool and I love the added hand and the "lighting"

- this & this (and this whole series) from @targarrus - I don't know what to say tbh, I just love their art style so much!!! And these are so agzhsbajanzksan <3

And I'll stop here because otherwise I'll be listing people for days, y'all are so talented 😭🫶

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

#fun fact (bc of the 2nd question): last year i didn' feel like celebrating my birthday #but i knew that if i didn't my friends woukd throw me a surprise birthday party #and the thought itself gave me so much anxiety that i ended up doing one myself (even tho i didn't want to lol) #so yeah... #ask #mine #maca speaks #this one was LONG but it's the last one i think :3 #is it too late to post again? sorry it took me way too long but i hope you see this anon <3

[raksh-writes]

Welp, today's the day I finally stepped on a scale after, like, I dunno, years probably? Aaaanndd well... that was a number I haven’t seen there before xd Which is both good and bad.

Bad because I gained a few kgs since the last time and apparently went over the healthy bmi and body fat amount (not by a lot, but like around 1,5 each), if the online calculators are to be believed, but it's also good in the sense this might finally give me enough motivation to kick myself in the ass and start moving goddammit.

I've already been trying to do some light exercises a couple times a week but maybe this will help me up the ante + I have, for the first time in my life, decided to try and count my calories intake. Which is... weird, lmao, but also interesting? I haven’t been eating a lot, tbh, and pretty much no sweets or snacking, I kinda grew out of it? So I guess most of my added weight comes from lack of exercise and maaaybe hormone changes. Ive been on and off the pill several times during the last year-two, currently off for a couple of months, so I think that could’ve thrown my body into alarm mode of gathering fat "just in case".

With the calories intake counting, Im mainly curious to see how much I get in the day when I eat as I normally do and if there's a reason for the weight gain somewhere in there. Like today Im already after dinner and I'll probably only make myself a light supper and won’t even meet the amount the app Im using calculated for me to lose the weight I want (5 kg for now to get back to the healthy bmi scale), so that's very interesting and Im wondering if maybe Im eating less on some days but more on others and that's also making my body "put away" the extra? I don’t actually know how all of this works, so Im just making guesses right now.

And the exercise part, ooof. It didn’t use to be so hard, goodness grace, Im Really out of shape. Tho, I guess the added kgs are impacting me too. Im starting slow, mostly stretching + some squats, some shorter video exercises, the kind. I know it'd probably help to make a regime, but that's only gonna make me miserable, so for now Im setting myself a goal of just Doing Something everyday and whenever I feel stronger, I'll just do more on the day. Otherwise the pressure I put on myself might kill any fun or motivation Id have.

This is pretty much just my personal rambling, which I might turn into a bit of a diary to help myself keep track and all (its weirdly easier to just type up a tumblr post than open up a notebook and write it down? Huh...), so like if anyone got through this whole post, damn, thank you, I guess, hah. If you have any tips, I'd be glad to read them! ^^

Let's see how long this bout of motivation lasts me 😂🙈

#personal #Raksh posts #starting a weight loss journey I guess?? #tho those are some big words oof #but yeah I do wanna try and lose some weight #see how my eating habits look rn and try to improve them going further #try and exercise more too #Ive already did around an hour today #mostly stretching plus some weight exercises like squats and big for the arms #I might try some more stretchinf in the eveninf #I know these are very light effort but Im telling myself I gotta start somewhere #little baby steps! #I do need a tag for this hmmm #Rakshs weighty ramblings #alright that'll do for now #feel free to block the tag! #I might make these posts more regular who knows! #gotta try and make myself consistent or something 😅 #and now I think Im gonna reward myself with some gaming ^^