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ddarker-dreams · 11 months

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Do Puppets Dream of Electric Sheep?

Yan Scaramouche x F Reader.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, mild not SFW implications. Word count: 2.1k.

“What am I to you?”

He stills. Your voice is as gentle as a mother crooning a lullaby to her newborn. Sweet, mild. Not intending to startle the sensitive creature who is unaccustomed to this world. It regurgitates memories of his progenitor. He can never clearly recall her countenance or the exact pitch of her voice, there are only formless blurs and warbled words that sounded far away.

It is a small mercy that he never made out the specifics of her face. For it allows him to envision her in whatever manner suits him best. She can be the scheming Niwa Hisahide who sought to manipulate him, the sickly child who left him behind, or the mendacious kitsune whose promises for aid went unkept. His mother is the locus of his rage that branches out and bears rotten fruit.

You cease your previous task of combing his hair from behind. Artificial heat burns his cheeks when your chest presses against his back, your arms coiling around his slender shoulders like tendrils. The hold is tight enough to almost hurt.

“Say, are you listening?” Your lips brush against his ear. He shivers. “Well, puppet?”

Furniture clatters in a cacophony of noise.

He stares at you, incredulous, his lips parting only to close again. He cycles through emotions and is unable to settle on one.

How do…? You shouldn’t know that!

You pay him no mind. You fix the victims of his outburst, setting the stool upright and straightening the vanity’s various implements. Then you sit where he sat, smoothing the wrinkles in your skirt as you do so. You face him instead of the mirror, which has cracked into three disjointed fragments.

The scene before him arouses confusion, then suspicion. His eyes eventually find their way to the mirror behind you. He barks a laugh at what he sees. The sound reverberates in the tiny room. Electro concentrates in his hands, crackling and ready to stain his surroundings crimson. He gives a malicious grin.

It reflects in the cracked mirror, whereas your form does not.

“A cheap parlor trick,” he muses. “I should’ve figured.”

You aren’t her, he thinks. And how grateful he is to realize it.

“I’m not?” You challenge, raising an eyebrow. What is this being capable of hearing his thoughts? The curve of your smile epitomizes everything you’ve never been: cruel and provocative. This ignis fatuus who dares to assume your form makes no attempt to flee from the attack writhing in his palms. “Well, I suppose there’s some truth to that. What you’re looking at now is what I am to become, not my present, corporeal self.”

He studies “you” carefully. The pigmentation of your eyes, your intonation, and your body language; it lines up uncannily well, but your word choice is peculiar. There’s a callousness begotten to those burdened by esoteric knowledge, an experience he’s intimately familiar with. This can’t be a poorly executed emulation devised by that medical charlatan excommunicated by his peers, or an experience that aligns with the continuity of Teyvat’s laws.

Is his conscious being tampered with by the gods?

“I’m afraid not. We both know that panopticon has no interest in you. No, discarded prototype, think back to your creation. When was it determined you’d be of no use to Beelzebul?”

He grits his teeth. That intrusive introspection is coming into play again. It’s as if his innermost sentiments have been printed out in large lettering for you to scrutinize.

“So you’ve finally realized, although you’re hesitant to think it. I can’t blame you, nothing good ever comes from your dreams. Since you don’t require sleep, you were able to avoid this for some time… in trying to play human with me in reality, you’ll be judged by me in the one state where you are utterly powerless.”

The energy gathering in his hand dissipates without him willing it. He tries in vain to summon it again, but the element no longer heeds his command. Clicking his tongue, he sits on the edge of the bed, then crosses his arms over his chest. He chastises himself for not noticing sooner. This room may appear to be an exact replica of the one you share, but the slightest details in its geometry betray the realm of possibility. Certain angles bend in inconceivable ways, the ceiling itself is drooping down like a viscous gel, the descent so slow, it’s near imperceptible.

Dreams, pesky as they may be, are always destined to end. He need only wait for this torment to run its course.

“If that’s the stance you’ve decided to take, why not answer my question?”

He feigns ignorance for a beat, despite knowing full well the inquiry you’re referring to. You allow him his temporary repose.

“What you are to me is a nuisance. A meaningless manifestation that I’ll forget about as soon as I wake,” he replies. How strange it is, taking this baleful tone toward an image of you. You are the sole individual he doesn’t regard with pure loathing, and as such, he treats you with a tenderness he thought himself previously incapable of. He can’t recall a time when contempt felt unnatural, like the first time he mimicked human breathing.

This veneer of nonchalance is forced and he knows it. The mirage taking on your comely likeness is seeping under his synthetic skin, spreading malaise and decay.

“Oh? That’s an awfully bold statement, but, nevertheless, let’s entertain it a while longer.”

You clap twice and the surroundings shift.

His limbs are dragged upward by an unrelenting force — red strings as formidable as piano wire. He struggles out of instinct. This futile act only serves to tighten the binds. Upon realizing this, he goes limp, noting that your presence is no longer visible.

He has an unobstructed view of the cracked mirror, its jagged edges displaying three different images.

To the left, he sees himself wearing the outfit he first awoke with, the golden feather dangling from his neck. The middlemost portion is accurate in its portrayal, unlike the others. It shows the glint of the mitsudomoe symbol upon his chest which he considers his birthright. The right fragment is nearly indiscernible, aside from hues of teal that swirl as if spurred on by the wind.

The mirror shatters.

Light footsteps circle around him. He wrenches his head in the direction of the ambient sounds, identifying no clear source.

“Even if you forget about me now, according to your designs, we’ll meet again. This “me” that’s been tainted and corrupted by your selfish intent. In trying to preserve me, you’ll be my ruin. You already know that though, don’t you? That your desperate clinging will drag us both down to unfathomable depths. It’s true, that by never letting me die, you’ll have an eternity with me…”

You materialize in front of him, standing with your hands behind your back. The casual stance is at odds with the venom you spew forth. Just as before, everything about your physical appearance is correct, save for a single, damning detail. Your eyes glow a luminescent violet — that of Inazuma’s reclusive deity, whose gnosis he intends to commandeer, even if he must tear it from her himself.

“But is that the eternity you truly wish for?”

It isn’t. Of course it isn’t.

What else was he to do?

Watch helplessly as your biological clock ticks on while the hands on his remain frozen in place? Witness your final until you breathe your last breath, then allow your husk to be buried in the cold, unfeeling ground? His is a life of apprehension. That by some cruel twist of fate, you’ll fall victim to the many pitfalls mortals are vulnerable to. Illness, injury, violence, the list goes on and on. His overactive imagination serves as a personal purgatory that churns out images of your downfall every moment he is not by your side.

Upon returning to your quaint little cottage on the outskirts of civilization, trepidation eats at him like maggots upon a corpse. If he can’t find you tending to your garden, baking in your kitchen, or lounging on the swing hanging from the old oak tree in your front yard, madness slithers at his heels, ready to pierce him with its fangs.

You may never forgive him, but he couldn’t forgive himself if he let the one thing he cherishes in this joke of a world leave him behind.

“I won't look at you the way I once did. The me who speaks your true name, spends days wondering when you’ll return from your traveling ‘job’, gladly welcomes you into her bed, granting you access to her most sacred body and soul; you will never see her again. She will exist in your memory alone.”

Your pointer finger hovers over his trembling lower lip, then descends, over his Adam’s apple and in between his collarbones.

“Having savored these pleasures once freely given, you’ll have no choice but to take them by force. You’ll defile me and insist it’s worship. Bitterness might whet your palate, but you’ll never have your fill. Can you call that love, poor puppet? Or will you rightfully refer to it as ownership?”

All verbal exchanges cease.

In this nightmare blurring the lines of what if, where he is but a spectator rather than an active participant, he laughs. It echoes in his hollow chest cavity where no fleshly heart beats. Your physiognomy goes blank in the face of such blatant malignity. He hangs here, a tossed-aside marionette, consumed by a paroxysm of emotion he once swore to wipe clean from his chest.

“If this is an attempt to appeal to my conscience, it won’t work,” his grin nearly splits his face in two. “Harass me every night, for all I care. I’ll accept it. I’ll accept anything. Every form of you… every possible iteration, no matter how unsightly, beautiful, indifferent, or anything in between, I want it. There isn’t a version of you that can deter me. The real you offered herself to me for a lifetime — who am I to turn down such an alluring offer?”

You pull away from him.

The absence of your touch is worse than any physical torture you could inflict. He’ll take your loving caresses, your hand ripping into his chest, so long as he can familiarize himself with your genuine warmth. Such is the resolve of a puppet who has endured the biting blizzard of loneliness. Destroy him and he’d rebuild. Ignore him and he’ll pry the words from your mouth. Attempt to leave him and he’ll ensnare you in a trap that neither of you can escape from.

This advocate for your future is washed away in a sea of ink, black as night, untouchable and ever-present as a shadow. The cascading wave swallows you whole.

You depart with a final threnody.

“Until we meet again, then.”

…

Something brushes over his cheek.

“... Kuni? Kunikuzushi? Ah, what do I do, you aren’t waking up…! Insults? Do I try insults? Uh, you’re of less than average height—”

“Quiet down, woman, you’re loud,” Scaramouche complains with a groan.

You’re hovering above him. It’s a heavenly sight — if he were a believer in such things — the upturning of your eyebrows, the flow of your hair tousled by interrupted sleep, and the temptation of your soft, parted lips. Warmth emanates from your body. He delights in it. Swears a silent oath to himself that he’ll never be without it.

“The insult worked,” you whisper, content with your quick thinking. Then, remembering the situation, you’re back to fussing over him. “Are you okay? You must’ve been having an awful nightmare.”

His lips form a thin line. “... Something like that.”

“What was it about?”

“You,” he forces an unperturbed tone. Although he’s still hazy from sleep, he’s used to bending the truth. Or in this case, covering the parts he doesn’t want you to see. “I have to deal with you in the realm of conscious and unconscious now. Terrifying, right?”

The sarcasm successfully draws your attention elsewhere.

“Absolutely. So terrifying, in fact, I better sleep elsewhere so as not to frighten my— oof!”

“Oh no you don’t,” he pulls you against his chest, preemptively ending your getaway, “You’re not going anywhere.”

You willingly collapse into his hold, laughing softly. Though you’re no longer trying to wriggle away, his grip is ironclad, his arms trembling. He interweaves himself into you with a tangle of limbs. Once he’s content, he presses his face against the thrumming pulse in your neck. This stream that maintains your life is temporary — a subpar placeholder until you’re imbued with immortality. Still, he cherishes it, this special rhythm that has sustained you long enough for your paths to interconnect.

He gives your pulse a chaste, reverent kiss.

Your paths are bound to never diverge, even if damnation is where they'll lead.

#scaramouche x reader #yandere scaramouhe x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere kunikuzushi x reader #my stuff

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sparklingself · 1 year

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𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃

understanding the law thoroughly truly solves most if not all problems you might have regarding manifesting. with understanding i do not mean just reading neville and understanding what you’re reading. i mean understanding on a level where you can apply it and relate it to every aspect in your life. taking in these principles as the upmost truth you live by may take time, but just acknowledging them every day makes a lot of difference.

consciousness is the only reality

"That I may not be misunderstood, let me again lay the foundation of this principle. Consciousness is the one and only reality. We are incapable of seeing other than the contents of our own consciousness." - Neville

there is no other world but the one that you are aware of. we are incapable of seeing other than the contents of our own consciousness. this is why consciousness is the only reality. reality is something you can experience and you only ever experience anything with your consciousness.

“If you are impoverished and borrow from every friend you have, and then suddenly you roll in wealth, where did you bury the poor man? You so completely rub out poverty in your mind's eye that there is nothing in this world you can point to and claim, that is where I left it. A complete transformation of consciousness rubs out all evidence that anything other than this ever existed in the world.” - Neville

anything ever exists only if you’re conscious of it. whether you’re rich or you’re poor you are aware of being one or the other. when you erase anything from your mind that appoints to anything other than you having your desire then eventually everything will prove to you that you have that desire. a complete transformation of consciousness rubs out all evidence that anything other than this ever existed in the world.

"Now put them all together in a practical sense and see what the ancients tried to tell us. As I stand here, having discovered that my consciousness is God, and that I can by simply feeling that I am what I want to be transform myself into the likeness of that which I am assuming I am; I know now that I am all that it takes to scale this mountain." - Neville

you are all that it takes to scale this mountain. there is nothing, no one else that can change anything, but you. any problem, any desire you have is smaller than you. all you need to do is transform yourself.

"Consciousness is the one and only reality. Therefore, we must form the object of our desire out of our own consciousness." - Neville

self-concepts

"Man is always looking for some prop on which to lean. He is always looking for some excuse to justify failure. This revelation gives man no excuse for failure. His concept of himself is the cause of all the circumstances of his life. All changes must first come from within himself; and if he does not change on the outside it is because he has not changed within." - Neville

everything boils down to self. to blame others or some kind of outer circumstance is extremely comfortable. but true freedom is whenever failure hits you to look within. because the concept you have of yourself is the cause of all the circumstances in your life. if you want something to change then change yourself and don’t force change on the outside.

"Heretofore I thought I could change others through effort. Now I know I cannot change another unless I first change myself. To change another within my world I must first change my concept of that other; and to do it best I change my concept of self. For it was the concept I held of self that made me see others as I did." - Neville

"Instead of trying to change others through argument and force, let me but ascend in consciousness to a higher level and I will automatically change others by changing self. "There is no one to change but self; that self is simply your awareness, your consciousness and the world in which it lives is determined by the concept you hold of self. It is to consciousness that we must turn as to the only reality. For there is no clear conception of the origin of phenomena except that consciousness is all and all is consciousness." - Neville

everyone is you pushed out. however people act around you - it is all a result of the concept you have of yourself. you see others the way you do because of your conception of self. if you want to change someone you must change yourself first. self as in your awareness. shift your awareness of that person to the desired version.

“A state is an attitude of mind, a state of experience with a body of beliefs which you live by. Always expressing a state, you identify yourself with it by saying: “I am poor or I am rich. I am known or I am unknown. I am wanted or I am unwanted.” - Neville

a state is your “I AM”. you always identify with something and you’re always expressing that. you are either poor or you are rich. you are either one or the other. the choice is yours.

“Because of your belief in external things you think power into them by transferring the power that you are to the external thing. Realize you yourself are the power you have mistakenly given to outer conditions.” - Neville

"Be still, and know that I am God." - Neville

prayer (assumptions)

"If you are still desiring, stop it right now! Ask yourself what it would be like, were your desire a reality. How would you feel if you were already the one you would like to be? The moment you catch that mood, you are thinking from it. And the great secret of prayer is thinking from, rather than thinking of." - Neville

how would you feel if you were already the one you would like to be? this is the key question to ask yourself when praying (assuming). when you assume you stop desiring because you already have it. the key is to think from your desire not of your desire.

"Take my message to heart and live by it. Practice the art of prayer daily, and then one day you will find the most effective prayer is: "Thank you Father." You will feel this being within you as your very self. You can speak of it as "thou" yet know it is "I." You will then have a thou/I relationship, and say to yourself: "Thank you, Father". If I want something, I know the desire comes from the Father, because all thought springs from Him. Having given me the urge, I thank Him for fulfilling it. Then I walk by faith, in confidence that he who gave it to me through the medium of desire will clothe it in bodily form for me to encounter in the flesh." - Neville

being thankful every day will transform you. make it a habit. taking time to shift your focus inside every day will help you realise your potential. you are God. pray every day to Him knowing that He is you.

"Now that you have assumed that you are what you want to be, do not look back on your former state and wonder HOW it will disappear from your world. For if you look back and give attention to it, you are steeping once more that kid in its mother's milk. Do not say to yourself, 'I wonder if I am really detached from that state," or "I wonder if so and so is true." Give all your attention to the assumption that the thing is so, because all responsibility to make it so is completely removed from your shoulders. You do not have to make it so, it IS so. You appropriate what is already fact, and you walk in the assumption that it is, and in a way that you do not know, I do not know, no man knows, it becomes objectified in your world. Do not be concerned with the how, and do not look back on your former state. "No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62 Simply assume that it is done and suspend reason, suspend all the arguments of the conscious three-dimensional mind. Your desire is outside of the reach of the three-dimensional mind. Assume you are that which you wish to be; walk as though you were it; and as you remain faithful to your assumption -- it will harden into fact." - Neville

there is no need to search for the “how”. you do not have to make it so, it is so. you already have it. once you give it to yourself inside, it is yours. assume that it is done. your doubts, your concerns are that of the 3D mind. they’re irrelevant, they’re not important. suspend all reason because it belongs to the 3D and the 3D is irrelevant. assume you are that you wish to be; walk as though you were it; and as you remain faithful to your assumption - it will harden into fact. “how” that will happen is unknown. all you need to know is that it is already yours.

"In your mind's eye, you feel that they are as you would like them to be and then drop it. The secret is dropping it. "Let me go" is one the last statement in the gospel. "Do not hold me." If you hold on to it then you haven't dropped it. The seed must fall into the ground and die, before it is made alive. If I hold onto it and keep on holding on to it, I haven't dropped it, and it has to be dropped and left alone too. You can't pick it up every morning and see if it has root. I must drop it and leave it alone and then confront the harvest." - Neville

when you “let go” you accept it to be yours. when you “let go” you stop desiring because it already is yours. you do not have to cling on it because it is already yours and no one can take it from you. yes, it will appear. yes, you don’t have to worry about it.

"If you reach the point of relief, your bread has been cast upon the water to return, perhaps in the matter of an hour. I have had the phone ring – minutes after I have imagined it – to hear confirmation that it has happened. Sometimes it has taken days, weeks, or months; but I do not repeat the action once I have done it and felt the feeling of relief, for I know there is nothing more I need to do." - Neville

time does NOT matter. there is nothing more left to do. if you know it is done and feel relief then so it is - done. it is yours. if you worry about time then you don’t feel it to be yours. accept it to be yours, you’re allowed to have it - you’re allowed to feel whatever you want inside of you.

consciousness is the only reality. therefore all you need to change is your consciousness. more specifically your self conceptions. and you do that through prayer aka assumption. you assume all the time. make your prayers conscious and say “thank you”. it is the greatest prayer because you know your prayers are always heard and what is heard is answered.

take the time to truly understand these principles. remind yourself of these daily and you will notice yourself accepting your power more and more by each day.

#loa #loassumption #law of assumption #neville goddard #mental diet #self concept #living in the end #affirm and persist #law of attraction #manifestation #manifesting #law of abundance #law of manifestation #manifest #edward art #spirituality #void state #meditation

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neptunianmars · 2 years

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manifesting with astrology

looking at your natal chart can provide insight to the best way for you to manifest your desires and dreams into your reality. manifesting is a strong tool lots of people use even subconsciously and it can make serious changes to your life <3 here are some things to look for in your natal chart to help you determine the best way for you to manifest: (these are all my personal interpretations and might not resonate with everyone!)

Jupiter:

this planet controls themes of luck, abundance, optimism, expansion, growth, all which play a part in manifestation.

i like to look at this placement specifically for how you should manifest.

the Jupiter placement in general can tell you how you will experience the most luck in life. so even if you're not manifesting something specific, God and the universe will grant you good karma overall.

if you have Jupiter in Cancer, you will experience the most good karma when you are nurturing and caring for others. if you have Jupiter in Capricorn, you will experience the most good karma when you are working hard toward your goals.

Part of Fortune:

the word Fortune in the name not only means material wealth, but spiritual wealth as well.

this placement shows where you are naturally at your happiest, which according to the law of attraction, will therefore attract good things for you.

if you have Part of Fortune in the 5H, then you will feel most at peace while creating or experiencing art like painting, writing, music, going to museums, watching movies/tv shows, reading, etc. so doing that kind of stuff will naturally elevate your mood which in turn will bring in good things in your life.

Neptune:

although there is science to back it up, manifestation definitely has a base in mysticism, which Neptune controls along with imagination, dreams, intuition.

because Neptune has domain over all of these subconscious entities, this placement can show us how to bring our manifestations out of the dream world into reality.

Neptune stays in a sign for about ten to twelve years, so it wouldn't be weird to find you and yours peers face the same struggles when it comes to reaching your goals. this is why i actually would look at what is opposing or squaring Neptune. what is keeping you or standing in the way of your desires manifesting?

a generation of people with Neptune in Aquarius are all going to struggle with getting their extreme ideas and innovations out into the world, but for different reasons. someone with Neptune in Aquarius opposite or square their Moon is going to be too emotionally insecure to get their ideas out, while someone with Neptune in Aquarius opposite or square their Mars will be too harsh or overwhelming to others.

North Node:

your North Node is the themes of this lifetime you need to learn, while the South Node is themes we've learned before in previous times. thus, the North Node is where you're destined to go and where we look to help us fulfill our life's true purpose.

using the themes of this placement that you are naturally destined for will help the manifestation process tremendously because it is something you are naturally gravitated to anyways

if your North Node is in Aries, one of the themes in this life you need to learn is selfishness. learning to say no, to put yourself first when you need to, and learning to be there for yourself. if you manifest stronger confrontational skills, or manifest stronger discipline for yourself, they will come easily because they are naturally aligned with what you are heading toward.

Venus:

manifestation is based on the law of attraction, and Venus literally controls attraction.

she's also important because most people are trying to attract Venus themes into their lives like harmony, beauty, wealth.

looking at this placement will show us what we naturally attract and what we are attracted to.

if you have Venus in Taurus, you naturally attract abundance and prosperity in the material world. you are going to naturally gravitate toward these things as well. so, these things are going to be extremely easy for you to manifest into your life like a raise at work, passive income, beautiful items, etc.

11H:

this house holds domain over our dreams and wishes, especially for the future, so looking to this placement will help you manifest things that really align with you.

if you Libra on your 11H, you might naturally dream for or want pleasant relationships in your life. an amazing friend group, a wonderful partner, great bonds with colleagues, etc. manifesting these relationships will come easier to you than others with, say, Aries on the 11H.

again, these are all my personal interpretations for manifesting with our natal chart. i look at these placements and utilize them in my manifesting personally and am more pleased with the results than when i used to just do whatever was trending on twitter.

please feel free to ask about your specific placements by replying or messaging me! it helps you and helps me as a practicing astrologer. also just a reminder that i offer readings which you can find info for on my pinned post :) happy tuesday!

#astrologer #astrology #astrology observations #astro observations #cosmic witch #witch tumblr #manifesting #manifestation #astrology manifestation #manifest with me #jupiter #neptune #venus #11H #part of fortune #north node

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chrollohearttags · 9 months

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𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐛 • 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

synopsis: after spending all of his time and nearly a week in Houston with (y/n), EJ must return home and to reality. But he isn’t pleased to find that his manager has been making moves behind his back. Ones that may sever their longtime bond and jeopardize her relationship after a heated altercation results in legal troubles for the rapper .It's also there that he reveals a secret to his best friend and what it may mean for his future as an artist. Could EJ the Don really be done with music as the media claimed? Meanwhile, (y/n)’s starpower continues ascending as she receives offers from tons of companies to do business. With the concerns of her friends lurking over her head; worrying that she may have been distracted by her recent fling, she proves to be more determined than ever to make things happen, especially when a part of her past is unearthed, serving as a reminder why she started in the first place and with news of EJ’s recent run in with the law, it’s one more reason to stay the course and keep distance. But will it really be that easy? The head executives of AMG are finally introduced, and with plans to host one of the world’s largest musical festivals for the first time in history, they meet to discuss the state of their current roster and how they plan to proceed.

content warning: mentions of violence, fighting/arguing, drug mentions, angst, mental health, mentions of death and grief, toxicity, implied sex, legal stuff and mentions of jail

word count: 8.8K

📝: just wanna tell you all thank you so very much being patient with these very sporadic and inconsistent uploads. I promise it is not due to lack of inspiration, these chapters just take a hell of a long time to write! If I could have them out in a week, I would. But I hope that everyone is enjoying this story so far and I can’t for y’all to see what’s next! 🫶🏾

previous chapter >>> next chapter

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“Listen, Mr. Jaeger..I assure you. There’s nothing to worry about, alright? In all fairness, and in the eyes of the law, they were trespassing onto your property. Which gave you grounds to defend yourself. We’ll beat this case, trust me. And if they press their luck, we’ll crush them..you’ll own their entire company by the time I’m finished.”

“Shit, I hope so. My manager’s gonna be on my ass when she finds out. I don’t even wanna know what story those grimy ass journalists cooked up and put out..but that’s why I pay you. Do your thing and make this headache go away, please. I have full faith in you.”

It was a rather interesting Monday morning for the jaded Eren, who had been mid-conversation with his lawyer. A defense attorney to the stars who had beaten some of the most harrowing allegations and cases. Yelena Pithikos, a woman as intimidating as she was intelligent..and boy, did she live up to her reputation! A perfect track record with not one single lost case. She really was the greatest of all time in the legal world. With her on his side, there was no way he’d lose. The two would converse for a little longer; the rapper facing a half smoked blunt and blowing smoke before ending the call. To say he was stressed would be the biggest understatement of the century. Having been a free man for a little over twenty four hours, he had not only been hit with a barrage of text messages from concerned friends but knew that a media shitstorm was headed his way. All of it seemed so exhausting! Floch, who came and posted bail on his behalf, was worried that he’d be irate but if anything, he was just worried. Worried that he had caused yet another issue for Mika and how she’d have to spend the next week trying to clean up his mess. Little did he know though, that this wasn’t a result of his own actions..

“Come in.”

Uttering tirelessly over his shoulder as he mashed away at the keys on his mixing board. Suddenly, the door would creak open..followed by the faint footsteps of clacking heels hitting the tile. “No snarky comments today?” That old statement about speaking of the devil and they shall appear had never rang so true before. Just then, a visibly tired Mikasa came walking in; hands folded over her chest and cell phone in hand. Truthfully, he didn’t even want to look at her. Not out of embarrassment but fear that he had angered her or upset her. He sometimes worried the people around him with his careless actions. He did things without taking into account how they may affect everyone else. However, this wasn’t a matter that he should or could apologize for. Not when his home, his safe haven was invaded.

“..look, I know what you’re gonna say. And I’m sorry, but I really don’t feel like listening to any lectures right now. Already got an earful of the damn cops and a bunch of crazy bastards in a holding cell getting on my last good nerve. Also, I forgot how much of a pain in the ass handcuffs are..I’m just not in the mood right now.”

blurting out before proceeding to focus on his current task..avoiding eye contact with her if at all possible. But surprisingly, she wasn’t as talkative or angry as she normally would have been. Which he didn’t even notice at first. But as the conversation progressed, he’d soon come to realize that he wasn’t so much at fault as he initially figured and in truth, the one to blame was standing in front of him. Even so, she’d glare down at him as a disappointed mother would her unruly child. For a split second, he even thought about how his own mom had called him not too long ago to check on..and scolded him about the incident and he was drained! The last thing he needed was another chewing out.

“Why did you skip out on our meeting last week?”

the question caught him off guard and confused EJ even more. What exactly did that have to do with this situation in particular? Was she not ready to rip his head off for creating yet another mess for her to mull over with the execs and the media? What was going on?! Leaning back in his chair, he’d blink profusely to really make sure he heard correctly but she’d give him that glare she’d done many times before and await his answer. “Don’t stare at me like I’m speaking another language. What was so goddamn important that you couldn’t even give me a phone call to let me know you weren’t showing up? That meeting was booked out months ago and you made me look like a complete dumbass in front of the board members. Your album deadline keeps getting pushed back and I keep having to make excuses. You don’t find that a little fucked up?”

he understood exactly where she was coming from..Mikasa worked tirelessly to ensure that all of her talents received equal attention and that they were being given opportunities to showcase their talents. As well as being backed by the top brass at AMG. It was her job as the median between the two to ensure that things went smoothly. It wasn’t easy to get a room full of stiffs in suits to fund projects sometimes but Eren’s reputation and record sales had always spoken for themselves. But with a four year time lapse between his last album and now, it was becoming difficult to do so. She was just irritated that once again, his selfishness had put her in a bad spot. It was hard enough that she had to work to prove she wasn’t just some byproduct of nepotism and family favors. But she had earned her spot as the executive PR and internal affairs manager. One she held proudly. But he’d try to explain as best he could without detonating the ticking time bomb.

“Look, Mika. I’m sorry, alright? I was busy, kinda needed to duck off and clear my head for a lil’ bit, that’s all. I didn’t realize that the damn meeting was so soon. I wasn’t trying to stand you up, I promise. I had other things to tend to, that’s all. Just schedule another one and I’ll be there, promise. Hell, tell Floch and I’m sure he’ll remind me.” Once again, there was that nonchalant attitude. It ground her gears to a halt, really. It was as if he had no real concept of reality..

“I wish I had an excuse but I don’t. Truth is, leaving town was some shit I decided last minute. I can’t even tell you why I went. I was out drinking and the next, I was in Houston. Doing shit I hadn’t in a long time...enjoying myself. That I won’t apologize for. I didn’t expect to come home to a bunch of paps at my door, interrogating me about some fuck ass article I knew nothing about. Saying I was retiring and a lot of other bullshit. Respectfully, the last thing I wanna deal with is your uncle and the rest of the firing squad questioning me about an album rollout. I need some time to think.” It seemed that he was truly agitated by all of this. As if he were confused as to how he could have a perfect weekend, pillow talking and fucking on (y/n) to now being in the midst of a media frenzy. It just seemed so sudden and now, he was trying to figure out how to deal with it. But Mika’s next comment would not only catch him off guard but eventually, send him into a tailspin.

“Damn, I knew something like this would happen.”

“What do you mean?”

Before she could recant though, Mikasa’s expression gave it away and she knew that he had definitely peeped that statement. Just what exactly did she know about this situation that he was clueless on? One thing was for certain though, he was going to find out. Glaring up at her with a rather peeved look, Eren began to press the issue..wondering if he’d get a straight answer or some calculated shit she’d orchestrated. What was this all about?

“Mikasa..I asked you a question. What do you mean ‘you knew?’ Answer me.”

normally, the banter between them was nothing more than playful, joking discourse but there wasn’t the slightest hint of happiness in his tone at the moment. But rather, complete and utter irritation and quite frankly, a hint of anger as well. He wasn’t much for the games and she figured it best not to test him either. So, against her better judgment and her own interests, she decided to come clean. Releasing a heavy sigh, Mikasa began to confess and tell him how the entire situation came about. From the fact that she was fed up with him ducking and evading meetings from the phone call with Annie and even putting the bug in her ear about writing the article. She told him that she knew he was with (Y/N) for the weekend and that she was furious about being stood up yet again..and that his inconsistency was affecting her own standing within the company. Admitting that she knew him well enough to know that he would’ve never moved for some one off blog post about him hooking up with an Instagram model but the second they mentioned news of him retiring or perhaps becoming stagnant, he’d definitely respond by clapping back from the booth. It seemed like such a sure fire way to give him that extra push to put out a new track or maybe even a full project..what she didn’t count on was him being swarmed and the whole plan backfiring.

“Look, Eren..I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t know they’d take it this far. It was a last minute, brash decision I made out of anger and I put you in a bad situation. I apologize.”

But he wasn’t hearing a word. Honestly, he had blanked from the moment she admitted that she had all but set the catalyst for this entire ordeal. Now, he had to attend court, pay legal fees and deal with a dumb ass judge..all because she wanted him to produce another record to improve her status quo?! It was infuriating but the worst part was that she was willing to exploit her own best friend and things that he had and were still struggling with for clout. He had known Mikasa for the majority of his life and she was one of, if not the most logical and intelligent person he knew. Out of all his friends, she was the one that always made the smart decisions, even in the most high stress of situations. Always thinking things through and ensured that her emotions never got in the way of her thought process. However.. “..how fucking stupid can you be?” That wasn’t the case and Eren was more than happy to let her hear about it!

For a moment, she stood still..gasping as she had never heard him speak to her in that manor. Granted, she was full and well aware of how irate he could truly become but not once in the entirety of their friendship did she think she’d become the subject of his anger. But this was coming from a place of pure hysteria. Hurt and betrayal that she would do something like this..standing to his feet, EJ tried his hardest to practice restraint to avoid saying anything extremely hurtful but he wasn’t much in the way of exercising such resolve at the moment. Especially when not only had she gotten him in this mess and offered no real solution to help repair his reputation but also, he hadn’t heard from the one person who was keeping him happy and this may have very well been the reason. So he didn’t feel compelled to hold back in expressing his feelings.

“Look, I said I’m sorry, alright? We’ll get this sorted out. Just calm down–”

“Calm down? Are you serious? Mika, I just spent the past twenty four hours in a fucking holding cell. One more fuckup and they’re gonna send me away for a long time. I had to fight a bunch of psychos off of my car and property over a story I knew nothing about. Not to mention everything in it was a lie. I take a few days off for myself, for once and you jump the gun all because you and the rest of those slave driving maniacs at AMG want me to make another album? To hell with calming down and honestly, to hell with you too for even pulling something like this! I’m your friend and you sold me out like I was nothing..”

The frustration was visible all over his face..the emotions coming through clear as day and radiating all throughout his body. Even causing tears to well in his eyes. He was furious, enraged and if it were anyone else..moreso a man, he would’ve slid them across the floor by now. But this stung more than anything. He knew how hard she worked and the lengths she went to ensure her clients’ success; not only for them but to prove that she was capable of one day becoming the heiress and figurehead of Ackerman Management Group but never in a million years did he think she’d become so obsessed with proving herself that she’d lose sight of what really mattered. Now, the damage had been done and he didn’t know if he could forgive such an act. Even so, she wanted to at least try to defend her actions!..

“Only because you never listen to me. Hell, you won’t listen to anyone!..you never think about how the things you do affects anyone else. It took three months..three months to get that goddamn meeting and you couldn’t give me so much as a phone call to let me know you wouldn’t be there. Out of every client I have, you’re the most difficult. I get it, you’ve been working since you were sixteen. Harder than anyone I know but hell, this has been my life for as long as I could remember. I’ve got a whole line of old bastards who’d do anything to remove me from the equation because once my uncle steps down, they don’t want to execute decisions made by the same little girl that used to play in the lobby. None of them truly believe I deserve that spot, no matter how hard I work. How many success stories I create…I’ll never be good enough in their eyes. The least you could do is not make it hard on me to do my job..Jesus! You’re getting a little too old for the rebellious bad boy act. In and out of jail, long before this..doing whatever the hell you wanted! You have obligations and you won’t even stand on your word but you want to preach about friendship and loyalty? Spare me, Eren. Please..this is business, remember that.”

The entire time that she was speaking, he felt himself becoming even more sated with rage. His blood boiling at her deflection. But his face had completely gone blank from a few minutes ago. Not even making eye contact as he rolled yet another blunt. As if she weren't even there but little did she know, he had a hell of a response for her little tangent and he promised she wouldn’t like it. That nonchalant, brutal honesty was one of his most horrible character traits and she was about to be on the receiving end. Uncrossing his feet, letting the sole of his Nike Dunks hit the floor, Eren began to smirk and eventually..laugh. That’s when he was at his most dangerous and the words about to leave his mouth were far more painful than any punch could ever be.

“You know Mika, you make it sound as if it’s my fault you’re not up for the task. Don’t try to take the piss out on me because Uncle Levi and his lackies are second guessing if you should take his crown. But aye, I’m not surprised. I mean, shit..it’s not the first time they’ve had to intervene because you lost control.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?..”

By now, the two of them were only inches apart. Her face screwed up and was riddled with hostility. Eren on the other hand was sporting the snarkiest, smuggest smirk he could muster. Blowing that cloud of smoke, he’d run a finger underneath her chin and look directly in her eyes:

“Exactly as I said, sweetheart. That little bullshit essay from your friend? I wonder just how much of it is true and how much of it is you projecting..let’s not pretend that you’ve always been..this. Little Miss Perfect. If anyone on this earth can’t tell me shit about obligations and integrity, it’s you Mika. You were on those stages and in the same dressing rooms I was. Getting high out of your fucking mind just to get through one set. Snorting coke off of a bathroom counter because you hated it so much. Sleeping with a bunch of assholes you couldn’t even stand looking at but hey, they made you feel better, told you you were pretty after mommy put you on another diet because the blogs were making fun of you. How many times did me, Armin and everybody else have to come pick you up off of the floor because you’d get so damned drunk after your shows, you couldn’t even remember where you were the next morning. And please, let’s not forget how many times you cried in my arms because you didn’t have the heart to tell your family to fuck off and stop forcing you to make music. It took that stupid ass fiancé of yours outshining you at your own show for you to finally realize that you hated being an artist. And you think you can actually lead that company? Don’t make me laugh. You’d probably snort your body weight if you had to handle that type of pressure. Hell, I’ve done some fucked up shit since I started making music. Taking drugs I had no business touching, just to stay awake and getting in trouble when I probably should’ve walked away but I never once tried to run from my mistakes either and I damn sure never stopped loving my craft..especially not enough to half ass a performance. No matter how bad I felt..how sick I was, even when I didn’t think anyone would even give me a chance or listen, I always showed up. Everything I do is for my fans. Losing sleep over a song because I wanted it to be perfect. You couldn’t even make it to a single album before cracking under pressure. This isn’t some money grab for me, music is my entire life and the only thing I’ve ever loved. And I’ll be damned if you or anyone else backs me into a corner over it. Tell that bitch Leonhart to put that on her website..and if you don’t like it, you and AMG can kiss my ass.”

Every single word he spoke sliced through Mikasa like a hot, searing knife through butter. Her face had become beet red and flush with tears. Huffing and breathing heavily as if she were going to explode at any second. She wanted to scream at him but couldn’t even find the words. Instead, she’d raise her open palm and smack him across the cheek with the hardest slap she could muster..so much so, it left a crimson colored mark on his face.

“Fuck you, Eren. Fuck you!..you’ve gone too far. I came here to apologize for what I did but the only mistake I’ve made is befriending an asshole like you. Burn in hell for all I care and find a new manager while you’re at it because I quit. Do whatever you want.”

furiously tugging her purse strap back up on her shoulder, Mikasa turned on her heel and proceeded to storm out. Not looking over her shoulder once because she wouldn’t be able to control herself if she did. As for EJ, he didn’t bother to stop her or even remotely show remorse for that long winded read. Rather, he’d listen as she slammed the door behind her and left. He was still pissed off but that may have been a little harsh.

“Damn..maybe I should think before I speak.” But it was too late now. There was no turning back or apologizing. For either of them..all that remained now was for him to put his focus where it always was: into his craft. Drown out all the noise and distractions and get back to what he truly loved. Because truth be told, she wasn’t the only one losing her grip on reality and goals. As he sat back in the chair, hands folded underneath his chin, all EJ could think to himself was one single thing:

“I think it might be time to call it quits. Maybe music isn’t for me anymore..”

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .*°•|☆•° .*°•|☆•l

meanwhile, as Eren felt that his time in the spotlight was beginning to dwindle, (y/n) on the other hand felt that your star was only about to ascend. Having just concluded the very last show in your cross country tour, you were already plotting on your next lucrative business opportunity.

“That sounds perfect. I’ll be back in Miami tomorrow so we can meet up and hash out the details. Thank you again, Mr. Smith. I appreciate your time.”

you’d find yourself on the opposite end with one of AMG’s elite directors and the man who had approached you back at Rolling Loud about starring in Connie’s video. You found it a bit strange that Mikasa wasn’t the intermediary for this particular deal but you just chocked it up to her being busy but you knew if Erwin Smith; the nine time Grammy Winner and music legend was contacting you personally then it must’ve been a huge deal. Either way, you were excited to see what was in store. Once you ended the call, you’d turn your attention back to the rest of the group, who were preparing to board their respective flights as you all paraded through the airport. Dressed in cute yet casual outfits, hair put up and bags stacked on one another. The final leg of the Pole Assassins Cross Country Tour had come to its end last night; concluded by a performance with a real rap legend performing. You all were excited to be going home…getting to see your families and most importantly, getting some much needed rest. But for the fearless leader, things never stopped. You were on your grind twenty four hours a day. Even counting up checks while you slept from brand deals and your namesake. It wasn’t all too bad. But for the ones that knew you best, they also knew that once you touched down back in Miami, you’d more than likely be closed off to everyone. That the reason you were working so hard was to keep yourself distracted from your impending grief. Even the passage of time never made it easier to get over the tragedy you suffered at seventeen years old and as a child in general. Affecting your life now even as a grown woman..living the way only few could dream of. Because of that, not one person in this world had access to (y/n) this time of year and it was very obvious by the very nonchalant reaction to the news of your sneaky link getting arrested, that the sullen mood had already set in. You didn’t even so much as gasp or even shrug it off as you had done countless other men that fucked up while in your life. And that’s what worried your girls.

“Aye, you sure she’s gonna be good while we’re on vacation? She already seems spaced out.” a concerned Kelley questioned whilst scrolling through her phone. Luckily though, Niesha wouldn’t be too far away, as you guys grew up only blocks away and not much had changed since becoming famous. You guys’ luxury apartments were within walking distance so if you needed anything, she could always pop in and check on you. “Yeah, she’ll be alright. She just needs her space right now. Listen, I’ll call y’all when we make it and keep you updated.” With that, the four girls would make their way over to (y/n), who had been standing near the gate for your flight, becoming visibly anxious. Suddenly, you’d feel a pair of comforting arms wrapping your shoulders. “Hey, pookah. You ready to go?” That warm and loving smile that could only come from your best friend and sister. “Yeah, I’m ready.” Returning the glance, you’d nod and turn to bid the rest of your crew farewell for now. Embracing in a giant group hug, the five of you exchanged laughs and even playful kisses to the cheek. Just then, your procession of being bid adieu was interrupted by a voice of the intercom, announcing departure of the Miami and Atlanta flights. “Y’all be good now. See y’all later, love you guys!” Kelley, Brianne and Syrai waved and you and Niesha would do the same as you clenched hands. Much like you had done as little girls when walking to the corner store. You were each other’s safety nets and truthfully, Niesha was all you had right now. So she’d do whatever to make you comfortable. To let you know that you weren’t alone at this time, no matter what it may have felt like. She loved you more than anything and you could feel the energy brimming from your bestie, even if there wasn’t a single word exchanged during the walk from baggage check to boarding the plane. As the two of you made it to your seats and got acclimated..you’d stay close to Niesha. Clinging to her like moths to a flame. Coiling an arm around hers and eventually, laying your head on her shoulder. Even in the dead of silence, the sentiment was loud and clear to Niesha:

“You know I always got you, pookah. You my girl and I love you…take all the time you need. You know your granny would be proud, just like I am, (Y/N). You've been working hard so now it’s time to go tell her all about it..forget EJ, forget working. This is time between you and her..”

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Page Break and Time Skip: Thursday Night, The Jaeger Residence, Miami Florida; 10:55PM

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darkness had well set over the bustling city..a thunderstorm showering the bustling streets and ruining the evening plans of would be partygoers and club hoppers. But there was an even darker cloud looming over the head of Eren, who was currently holed up in his home studio, flug lazily across the couch with his electric guitar lying across his bare torso and an open bottle of brown liquor next to him. He had been drinking and doing whatever he could to rid himself of any feelings and emotions. Having all but become a recluse..which wasn’t out of character for the hard shelled rapper to begin with but where as label mates and friends could find him working up until the early morning hours on a new song, he hadn’t even touched his work equipment. And instead, was instead getting inebriated with every substance he could tolerate so that guilt, anger or sadness stood no chance of plaguing his mind. Right now, he had his guitar lying across his bare torso and an open bottle of brown liquor in his hand. He was trying to find his spark..that extra push to drum up something to shut both his manager and his hating ass critics up. But nothing was coming through. He had no desire to make a beat, write lyrics…he just wanted to lie there and rot. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in ages. That creative slump and depression that had plagued many of his peers..the point of no return. Where artists could no longer achieve that sense of gratification when putting out music. They’d resort to making a few radio safe tracks to appease the masses before disappearing from the scene altogether and fading into obscurity. The last thing he wanted was to become an afterthought..but he was tired of grasping at straws. But luckily, a much needed distraction would be arriving in the form of his best friend, Armin. Who for some odd reason, couldn’t rid himself of the nagging suspicion that something was amiss with his homeboy. That would’ve been putting it lightly…

“Mr. Jaeger? You have company..” one of his loyal housekeepers and truthfully, someone he considered family, had been staying in one of the designated bedrooms for staff and was still tending to some chores when she got a knock at the door. Once getting the approval from security and seeing who it was pulling into the driveway, she breathed a sigh of relief. Because she knew if anyone could pull her gloomy employer from this week long slump fest he seemed to be trapped in, it was Armin. Whether EJ would welcome the thought or not. Before he even had the opportunity to attest and decline, the door would burst open and in would come a rather perturbed Armin, who was glancing around the dimly lit room; halting dead in his tracks at the sad sight before him. Turning to the housekeeper, he’d warmly assure her that he could take things from here and thanked the woman. It seemed to be a lot worse than what she had portrayed. He was hardly leaving his room nowadays, less known eating or anything else. Normally, she would’ve been sent home and still given a full day’s pay because Eren would insist on cleaning the mess for her, so as not to overexert herself. But when the head of the house was in a less than jovial mood, the energy was blatantly obvious to everyone.

“Alright, get your ass up. Enough of this. It’s pathetic..” the brash words leaving Armin’s mouth as he slammed the door behind him, which elicited quite the reaction from the hotheaded artist. “Watch your fucking mouth and don’t slam my fucking door either, bitch.” But alas, Armin didn’t give the slightest care. Because an angry reaction was better than none at all. Laughing as he took a seat in Eren’s chair, just to rub a bit more salt in the already festering wound. “And here I was thinking you had really lost it. You only look and smell like you’ve reached rock bottom. The proverbial clawing under his skin had seemed to work in Armin’s favor because he was at least sitting upright now and wiping his eyes so they’d adjust to the light. Releasing a loud yawn, Eren shot his best friend the middle finger and proceeded to ask exactly why the hell he was in his house this late in the evening. Armin would shrug it off as he’d always done, kicking back with a bottle of water he had confiscated from his fridge on the way up. Even going as far to take his shoes off and get mighty comfortable. “Oh, Eren. You silly goose..you can’t escape me that easily. Besides…I’m here on official business.” the response piquing his very dulled interest. Raising a furrowed eyebrow, Eren hoisted the bottle to his lips for yet another swig of the Hennessy. “Official business? At ten PM? What the hell are you talking about?” of course, he wanted to stay here another minute without being tossed from the second story, he’d elaborate. Although, EJ had quite the nagging suspicion of what this was pertaining to. Since he and Mikasa’s giant quarrel last week, word had gotten around the entirety of AMG..including the higher ups. Who had been in talks of what to do. On one hand, Mikasa was the best PR manager to come out of the firm, not to mention the fact she was the boss’ niece and next in line. On the other hand, EJ the Don was their highest earning artist. Regardless of Grammys or accolades, his name was still holding weight after all this time. And with the two of them at odds, who knew what would become of the team? However, for Armin..it was much more than that. He could care less about AMG’s record sales or a damn article. What he cared about was seeing his best friends at odds and hurting. Unbeknownst to Eren, this fight hadn’t just affected him.

It seemed that his harsh words had hurt Mikasa far worse than anyone had anticipated. The remarks about her younger days on stage and turning to drugs to cope with the pressures of being in the limelight had driven her back to some of those nasty old habits. She was trying to keep a brave face but it reminded her of how imperfect she truly was. Regardless of that front..and him. Sitting here wasting away, all because some fucked up article said he was washed. Enough was enough!

“Look, dude. I’m not gonna bullshit with you, alright? I’m not exactly sure of what happened between you and Mika. It’s honestly none of my business but what I do know is that both of you stubborn assholes need to fix this. She won’t even tell Jean..she just says it’s the stress of work before closing up in her room for hours. The other day, she blanked on one of the coordinators because he got the wrong number of napkins for an event. Whatever you said to her, you need to apologize before that bitch kills all of us.” And he wasn’t bluffing, sadly. Mikasa had been known to be quite the pistol. They had seen her beat grown men who tried to make passes at her so they knew she could be the Tasmanian devil when she wanted to. But there was one person with a hotter head than she had..

“I’m not apologizing for a damn thing. Should’ve thought about that before running to the blogs and trying to lie about it. She wants to use cheap tactics and dumb shit then she can stand on that. Just don’t expect me to feel sorry for telling the truth.” Honestly, it was pointless to get through to either of them and he knew he’d only exhaust himself trying to argue. Maybe what they needed most was not to be lectured but for someone to listen and once he began to open up..it all made sense. Talking back another swig of that dark liquor, Eren began to confess what was truly bothering him.

“I worked myself like crazy..for years, all I wanted was to be the best. To make music that transcended the charts. Hell, I didn’t care if I ever touched a Grammy or even got my flowers. I just wanted to make shit that people could relate to. Everybody told me how stupid I was for leaving home..a cushy life just to chase this so called dream of mine. But I loved it. I loved sitting in front of my laptop..pen and paper just coming up with verse after verse. After a while, it felt like second nature. I could do that shit in my sleep, y’know?” As he continued to speak, Armin listened attentively. In all the years that they had known one another, pretty much for the entirety of their young lives, Eren had never once been this vulnerable or open with him. They joked around and sometimes went at each other’s throats but this was a completely different side that no one had seen. It could’ve been the liquor or just the lack of having someone to talk to but either way, he was pouring his heart out. And a few tears too, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Masking it behind his smirking and laughter..

“Lately, I’ve just been feeling like I don’t have a place anymore. I kept telling myself ‘maybe if I help them with this project’ or ‘if I produce this track’, my inspiration for my own shit would find me again. But nothing…I didn’t feel the same way I did a couple years ago. Less known, ten. I spent all this time trying to build this empire and now I feel like I don’t have shit to show for it..these labels, they decide you’re no longer useful, and you’re out the fucking door. It’s frustrating, I ain’t gon’ lie.” interrupting his rant only to wipe away his tears and take another sip. “I can’t even keep a girl. Finally find one worth a damn and I go and fuck it up. I’m sure she saw I got arrested and ran for the hills. Can’t say I blame her though–” it was at that moment, Armin had heard more than enough. Listening to all he could take of this pity fest and self wallowing. Unbending his knees, he planted his feet to the ground, snatching that bottle out of his hand. “First of all, if you think for one second and I’m gonna sit here and let you cry like a lil’ bitch, you’re sadly mistaken. Dude, do you know how many people you’ve inspired with this music shit? Including me? Ony, Connie, even Jean, loves your work and he can’t stand your ass. I’ve never seen anything like it. Ten years..ten years you’ve been doing and dude, you’re only getting started. If you quit now, that’s the only way it’ll be in vain. You gotta keep going..not just for your fans or even to prove a bunch of losers on the internet wrong. You gotta do it for sixteen year old EJ who chose sleeping in a bus station over the country club because he wanted to put the industry on its head. You gotta do this because no one else can. So what if you don’t feel like it right now? You have so much left in you and I’ll be damned if I watch you quit.” It were those exact words that had seemed to have brought forth a spark in him..bringing life back into those dull jade eyes. Finally getting himself together, he’d sniffle and begin to laugh. Wholeheartedly for the first time in days..it felt good. But that wasn’t it for the encouragement Armin had in store for him. There was one more bit of uplifting news he had.

“And about (y/n)? She’s not mad at you, dude. Promise. Niesha told me everything and honestly…she just needs space right now.” Armin found himself swallowing a lump in his throat as he uttered the sentence. “It’s not personal. I’m sure she’d be happy to link…when the time is right. But she’d hate to see you like this.” Taking another breath, he’d ask another request of his best friend while he seemed to be in a much better mood. “Listen, I know it’s not your thing and trust me, I already know what you’re gonna say. But I’m hosting a yacht party next week. I invited everyone else too..including (y/n)..so I was hoping you’d come too.” never had Armin been so soft spoken. Truthfully, all he wanted was to see his homeboy happy and the only person who had managed to do that in recent history was the gorgeous influencer who had obviously more than well caught his eye. Maybe the thing you two needed most was each other. Even so, it wouldn’t be that simple and EJ just wasn’t going to agree that easily.

“I’ll think about it, dude..” but before Armin could leave with a less than savory answer, Eren would avert his eyes towards the door, where Armin was close to opening it. “Aye..thanks, bro. I appreciate you.” reciprocating a toothy smile in return. Seeing him in a better mood than when he arrived was all the thanks he needed.

“That’s what I’m here for.” Doing their signature handshake they’ve had since childhood but alas the sweet, heartwarming camaraderie wouldn’t last long..as Armin had a bad habit of being as annoying as possible! “By the way, I’m gonna go get a shower and when I get back, we can work on some of these beats. I have a couple ideas.” at first, what he said didn’t exactly register to Eren but then he realized–

“I’m gonna take one of your spare beds too! The room with the mirror on the ceiling. I might have a little something coming over.”

“Yeah, man. No problem–wait a minute. You’re at my house, you jackass! What do you mean you’re gonna go shower?! Don’t you have a whole ass mansion?”

“Yeah, but I like a change of scenery.”

Before he even had the chance to respond, Armin was already headed back downstairs. “Love you, Eren!”

leaving the befuddled rapper shaking his head and in shock of just how tactless he was. One thing he could do was thank him for getting his mind right. Now..it was time to do something with that new found motivation.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

the next day…

“All in favor of moving forward with the second decision, say I”

“I”

Meanwhile, the top brass at the renowned talent agency was in the midst of a very important meeting. One with a lot of dire topics being voted on and currently, this may have been the most pertinent of them all..

“That settles it, six to four. We’re getting Italian. Have the kitchen make enough carbonara to feed the National Guard. We’re gonna be here for a while.” earning a collective sigh from the roundtable. Seated on the top floor of the eighteen story building were some of the most powerful and brilliant minds in the entertainment industry..from multi-platinum recording artists to Grammy winning producers, any and everyone who had helped shape several as they were today were running AMG and making it the largest talent agency and label with over one hundred and fifty talents signed and billions in revenue every year. “Goddamnit, Levi. You know I’m trying to watch my figure right now and you’re not helping.” “I’m trying to watch it too and I think it looks just fine.” Seated at the head was chairman and former recording artist, Levi Ackerman. Second generation rockstar who hailed from a long line of talented musicians..best known for being the lead singer of notorious band, Paradis. Who had won over twenty Grammys and seven number ones during their tenure. The man across from him, Erwin Smith was his best friend and bandmate. The COO. Along with Miche Zacharius, who was also at the table. The lead drummer turned director of marketing. He was a genius when it came to advertising for these artists. He could take any budget and make it look as if it were worth millions. Perhaps, the most inquisitive mind there was the woman next to him and perhaps, his favorite person in the entire company. Vivian James-Ackerman. The Queen of Neo-Soul, five time Grammy winner and his beautiful wife of ten years..she was not only a generational talent with a sound inspiring many songs today; a creative director working on the set of many videos but a mentor to AMG’s biggest star, EJ the Don.

“You two are a mess..so, what are we gonna do about this little situation? We have PalmFest right around the corner and two of our biggest stars are currently out of commission. Think we can convince them to perform?”

“Not to worry, lovebug. I’m sure they’ll come around. Right, Levi?”

Next to Erwin was his beautiful wife of twenty years, Deanna Smith. She was a renowned R&B singer with a powerhouse voice for many years before trading in her sultry lyrics and silky vocals for the title of vice director of marketing. Her and Erwin had collabed on many tracks. Including one that was the talk of the tabloids, saying that it was far too ‘provocative’ for their time. But innovative, as it was the first time rock and R&B had meshed together and topped the charts.

“They damn well better or they’ll all find themselves out of a job. This is the first time in AMG history we’ll be hosting something of this caliber. Three days of music, entertainment..hell, if we pull this off, we might surpass Rolling Loud or Coachella in a couple years. Not to mention the cash it’ll bring in. Whatever those brats have going on, they better sort it out and quick.” When the president spoke, his word was absolute and everyone had done their part to make his vision come to life. Glancing around the table, they all nodded in agreement but among the tribe, there was always one person going against the grain. “Speaking of…” pressing his glass back to the table, Miche chimed in and added to the conversation; addressing the elephant in the room.. “..you know that niece of yours is one hell of a manager, Levi. She’s recruited some real heavy hitters in the past couple years. It’s hard to believe that someone so young has done the work she has..” as he continued talking, no one could attest to that. Mikasa was the top of her peer class in many areas. She was super talented. However, Director Zacharius had his reservations. “Even so, I’m a little concerned about her after news of her little outburst the other day. I mean, with something as huge as this on the line..how can we be certain she’s equipped to handle it? Are you sure we can leave her in charge of such a huge event?” His inquiry caused eyebrows to rise on each side. But as always, Levi remained steadfast, stoic and calm..twirling a pen between his fingers, he’d merely smirk and lean up before speaking.

“I’ll admit, she is quite the firecracker when she wants to be. Even as a little girl, she was a force and I’ll admit…the kid’s had her moments. Ones that have me doubtful of how well she could handle all of this pressure. The last thing I’d ever want is to see her or AMG collapse under the weight. Running a business is hard work..overseeing so many different people and ensuring that things run smoothly. CEO, chief operator, directors or managers. Nobody comes by these titles easily. All of it is a group effort and requires a lot of skill.”

as he continued with his speech, he’d clasp his hands together and take a stern look around the table..making one thing abundantly clear:

“With that being said, there’s no one more qualified to not only oversee this festival but one day, this company as well. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t take it easy on her, never have and I damn sure won’t now. I also won’t coddle her. This is the test to prove she’s worth her salt and that she’s capable of being a true leader. She screws up then she’s out the door but I believe as always, she’ll pull through for us and make the best of her talents. I trust that you all will place the same amount of faith I have in her and assist as much as possible.” and that was enough for everyone else! Of course, the co-sign would come from the one person who housed enthusiasm in their veins as if they needed it to breathe. “Well I think Mikasa is more than capable and I’m sure she’s gonna do amazing things. Let’s just help her with whatever we need to make this a success.”

Zoe Hange, nightclub owner and interim data analyst; in charge of ensuring that the budgets were in order. As they all reached that consensus, they felt confident in proceeding with the fun part and that was planning the festival. Getting all the acts, deciding the staff and of course, who would be performing! But as they all flipped through their files and scrolled their iPads with presentations on the screen, Vivian would lean over and ask her husband about one more burning question on her mind..

“You know, Eren would make a great addition to this lineup. I think we should make one more effort to get him on board.”

“If you want to go grovel to that brat, be my guest. As far as I’m concerned, he has one more strike before I drop his ass for good. Money and sales aside.” Levi uttered without so much as even lifting his head. But Vivian wasn’t as ready to give up on her protege. And instead, proposed something else..

“I’ll go pay him a visit. It’s been a while since I’ve seen my little mentee anyways. I miss him.” And all Levi could do was laugh because she knew that Vivian looked at EJ as more than just a former backup singer or pianist, she thought of him like her own son and treated him as such so if he were in any type of distress, she’d do whatever to solve it. He also knew there was no arguing with her when she got her mind set on something! Snickering, the president would just scribble down his signature on a few documents as the rest of the table conversed among themselves.

“Well, I trust your judgment, sweetheart. Whatever you think is best. But remember, we only have a month so we don’t have any time to waste on him or anyone else.” With that, she knew she had all the time she needed to make this work. Tomorrow, she’d be heading to his Miami Beach mansion to not only convince him to headline PalmFest.

but ensure his well being above all else.

.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*:｡.･*: .･*:｡.･*:｡.･

if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! please check out some of my other stuff in the masterlist. Likes are appreciated but reblogs would mean the world and help me out a TON! Also, considering leaving a little something in the tip jar if you’re feeling extra generous! 🫶🏾

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lord-of-0blivion · 1 year

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"How. Dare. You." Those three words resounded across the gathering of ghost with the force of a freight train and yet, the gentleness of a butterfly. The tone of said words quieted the crowd, but what truly brought everything to a grave like stillness was the emotion behind them. It was indescribable, it was oh, so... so much more then pure hate and, at the same time so much less then indifference.

"How dare you." They wrang out again. Followed by a "You finally piece it together and this is how you repay him?!"

"You plot and scheme against him as if he is not the sole reason why you even exist!" A tierd huff escaped the figure, now recognized as the master of time. "You wine and complain about the inaccuracies and errors in your history as if this is not how you have alaways been!" "Might I remind you that this all came from the mind of a DYING CHILD!" He gesture all around, to the infinite green void. "The fact that we have ANY correlation to the mortal world is a miracle and a testament."

"At the very moment of his death, Danny's mind recognized that, according to the laws of his world, his univers, he had no way to survive;" An intense glared was directed at the waste of ectoplasm gathered below him. "And, sensing his desire to Live, to not abandon the only three people who have shown him compassion, it does the only thing it can." A sigh escapes his lips "It creates a door, it makes a universe, a multiverse, infinite realities. It makes it out of all his hope, compassion, love and determination, sadness and despair... It gives birth to DEATH itself, just to beg it to keep him alive."

The crowd stills completely, as if suddenly turned to stone. "It is a testament to his willpower, knowledge and... his compassion." Another sigh rings out, filled with something between sorrow and and the burden given by knowledge. "Prior to his death, there... there were no afterlives, there was nothing awaiting but Oblivion, true death. And then he created all afterlifes, he created all of you."

A long pause soon followed, as if to allow Clockwork to catch his breath, but it was more to allow all the ghost beneath him to process the information.

And then he continued "In the very first moment of its birth, Death knew what it had to do... It took its very purpose and the very laws that should have binded it to said purpose and discarded them with no hesitation." Another pause. "Without a care for itself, and alongside Magic, who was born at the same time as the Realms, it set out to helps its father like any good child would do for a loving parent"

Not even allowing a word to escape the crowd, CW continues. "Would any of you even dare to THINK about striking your mothers or your fathers!?" Before they can even flinch Clockwork hammers the point in "Answers me this: Is there anyone among you who can say, with any amount of certainty, that Danny would even hesitate to... give up what little remains of his life, his existance! To save yours?"

Having made his point he turned his back to them. "Like any parent would do?" Not paying attention to the trembling and sobbing ghost, Clockwork, the master of time made to leave, but not before saying one last thing.

"From the highest peaks of Haven to the deepest VILEST pits of Hell, there exist no language in which I can express my disappointment and disgust in you. Have a good afterlife, and don't forget WHO you have to thank for it you vain children"

[This] post inspired this. @five-rivers Thanks.

#danny phantom #dc x dp #dp prompt #ghost zone #danny fenton #dp clockwork

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gofancyninjaworld · 1 month

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Thinking about Garou

Question: "Compared to the first season, which draws attention to Saitama's exhilarating punches, the second season focuses on story development. Did you have any specific goals while drawing the story?" Murata: "There was one thing that I requested from ONE Sensei before drawing my re-illustrated manga. At first, there were plans to cut out Garou's childhood with the bully in my version, but that scene really left an impression on me. I thought it was a vital part of understanding Garou's position, so I discussed it with ONE Sensei and requested that I be able to leave it in for y version. And it was paced so well in the anime! I believe it ended up being a very high-quality scene." -- From the liner notes of One-Punch Man Season 2.

I'm including this because I feel it's fundamental to really talk about Garou with any depth. Garou without context does not make sense. He is a kind, sensitive, and thoughtful young man who wants to do good in the world. Yet, he caused a horrifying amount of harm, both directly and indirectly, and ultimately undermined his own goals.

I'm glad that ONE listened to Murata about keeping Garou's childhood flashback. Without it, he'd just have been a thug attacking heroes for no reason to us (pretty much as the heroes saw him). Not only that, but ONE has gone a lot further in the manga in showing us the context in which Garou grew up that's been very helpful for understanding who Garou is, what he saw, and making some sense of his powerful yet contradictory desires.

Ultimately Garou is Garou. He's his own person and the buck for his actions firmly stops with him. No matter what, I can't imagine him not being an independent thinker with the determination to put his thoughts into action.

But...

...the tragedy of his thinking becomes clear when we see his thinking of monsters as metaphors for what is misunderstood or unacceptable in ourselves (a popular enough one IRL where monsters aren't real) and compare it with the reality of his world in which monsters have won, successfully restricting humans to one continent, and people like heroes because they are reminders that sometimes, even apparently overwhelming evil can be defeated. Nothing good happens when you deny the reality around you.

You know Garou's rant about uniting the world with fear? It's a standalone rant in the webcomic. The manga gives us a snapshot of the context in which he came to this conclusion. As this is a place that is no stranger to natural disasters -- forget the monsters -- Garou has no doubt experienced at least one big storm, or flood, or earthquake, or volcanic eruption in his life. In those days and weeks that follow, he's no longer an outcast. Nobody cares about where you come from or who you are: people help each other. At least until normalcy is restored. That's something he's directly experienced.

That's just human nature: even in individualistic societies, for every report of looting in the wake of a natural disaster, there are hundreds of people trying to help. And this is a much more collectivist society that has to deal with disasters semi-regularly. That's the sense of looking out for each other in the face of a tragedy bigger than any person he wanted to recreate—only permanently.

Then we get bits of Garou through the people around him. We got nothing about his parents in the webcomic but in the manga, his parents refuse to see him or get him out of custody. They've given up on him. To make it worse, the audience ONE is writing for understands that Garou is a minor until he's 20 (the law recently changed in Japan but it wasn't even up for debate when ONE started writing OPM). So they've done the equivalent of washing their hands of a 16-year-old. That's got to have hit Garou very, very hard, even if he was estranged from them. He'd have liked it if his father cared enough to tell him what to do.

We see how Bang has literally taken on the role of in loco parentis. It's been interesting to see that the reason Bang has chased after Garou so relentlessly is because he sees himself in the young man. However, we also see that he deeply misunderstands Garou too. Bang beat up people because he was an extremely selfish young man who felt he was entitled to everything.

Garou beat up people because he is an extremely thoughtful young man who sees himself as bringing a great good into the world at the expense of some heroes.

It's definitely going to cause trouble but that's okay -- nothing in life is smooth and such differences are inevitable. With love, such struggles are worthwhile.

Garou's an object lesson in why the energy to do things in the world rarely comes with the power to make those changes. His overly simple solutions were disastrous. But one thing we can also say about Garou: he's a fast learner. He's literally rebuilding his life little by little in the webcomic by rebuilding the world around him. In the manga, he's been given the opportunity to sift through his thinking and find what's genuinely good. We'll see how it all shakes out.

#OPM #meta #Garou #manga #webcomic #the road to hell is paved with good intentions has rarely been truer when it comes to Garou #I am glad the manga has drawn out more context for us to understand him better #and also given him more opportunity to confront his way of thinking

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jewish-sideblog · 20 days

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i have a question. i don’t mean this horribly!! but per this post you reblogged: https://www.tumblr.com/jewish-sideblog/744967243590434816, you believe to call what’s going on in palestine a genocide is antisemitic. can you elaborate on that, please?

I don't want to get in the habit of addressing things other people have said in posts I reblog, because those aren't my words and a reblog isn't a blanket endorsement of everything other people have said. But this topic is really important, so I'll weigh in just this once.

The primary concern I have with the use of the term genocide is Holocaust Inversion. Most people don't have a conception of genocide outside of the holocaust, so the usage of the word genocide is often an obvious ploy to weaponize Jewish suffering against Jewish people. Its sole purpose is to equate Israelis to Nazis and Jewish government to fascism.

Yet, there is a lot of death in Gaza right now. Horrible death, needless death. I think any erasure of that is as horrible as Oct. 7th denial. To outright deny that a genocide is happening exclusively because of the historical reality of the Holocaust isn't just or beneficial. So we have to look at it objectively. As I said earlier today, I'm not an international relations expert, so the following is my understanding and should be taken with large grains of salt.

"Genocide" as a war crime is extremely similar to murder as an individual crime. The key component (besides death) is intention. If you kill someone on accident in most English-speaking countries, you'll likely be charged with manslaughter, not murder. Similarly, genocide requires the intentional destruction of a population of people, well beyond the necessary realities of civilian casualty in active war zones. Death itself, even in large numbers, does not a genocide make. Civilians will always die on the battlefield. Always.

The International Criminal Court says that Israel has to meet standards of care in Gaza to ensure that genocide does not occur, meaning they don't think one has already occurred. There's some dispute on whether or not those standards are being met-- Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International say that Israel is failing to allow humanitarian aid into Gaza, while the Israeli government issued sealed documents to the Hague last month detailing their compliance measures. It'll take a while to hear back on those. Personally, I think starving Gaza is an obvious measure of intention to destroy Palestinian civilians.

Anybody is obviously welcome to disagree with the highest court of international law in the world. But the fact that the experts seem hesitant to make that determination gives me pause. Why are so many people keen to bring Israel to the Hague, not Russia for their indiscriminate killing of Ukrainians or the Houthis for manufacturing a humanitarian crisis in Yemen? Hamas, one of the governments of internationally-recognized Palestine, fully admits to intending to destroy the Jewish people in part. They say they'll do it again if they get half the chance. Why is only the Jewish state called out as a unique, genocidal evil? Must we label Palestinian deaths as a genocide in order to mourn them effectively? Aren't hundreds dead a day reason enough to mourn and to push for peace?

Again, I don't want to deny the allegations of genocide any more than I want to accept them. I'm following the experts on this one. And so far, the experts say "maybe". As long as they say "maybe", anybody who insists on definitely and absolutely labelling it as a genocide creeps at least suspiciously close to Holocaust Inversion in my eyes.

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nellasbookplanet · 3 months

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Book recs: possession, bodysnatching and bodysharing

Demons, ghosts, aliens, sentient bacteria, artificial intelligences - isn't there something fascinating about the idea of sharing a body with another being like a giant get-along t-shirt? No? Too bad, because I'm going to tell you about books featuring this trope anyway.

A note: multiple of these books are sequels where the bodysnatching/possession aspect plays little to no part in the first book. In all these cases, I still recommend starting with book one. I also in one case chose not to include a certain sequel that I loved as even mentioning it in this context would be a huge spoiler, so, uh, sorry about that.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Brain Plague by Joan Slonczewsji*

Chrys, a struggling artist, agrees to become a carrier for a sentient strain of microbes. With their help, Chrys breathes new life into her career and becomes a success. But every microbe society is different - some function as friends and brain enhancers to their carrier, while others become a literal brain plague, a living addiction taking over the life of their carrier. And like every society, the microbe community is in constant flux - including the one inside Chrys's head.

Children of Ruin (Children of Time series) by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

Sequel to Children of Time. Millenia and generation spanning scifi. After the collapse of the Earthen empire, a project to terraform various planets and use them to uplift other species to sentience in left unfinished. However, both species and planets continue evolving on their own, and when what remains of humanity flees the dying Earth millenia later, these planets might be their only hope of survival. But the uplifted species aren't the only intelligent life out there, and are far from the most dangerous as the survivors encounter something capable of terraforming the human body itself.

Leech by Hiron Ennes*

Unbeknownst to humanity, a sentient hive mind has taken over the entire medical profession to ensure the health of their host species. One of their doctors is sent off to an isolated location where they’re cut off from the rest of the hive mind, only to realize they’re faced with a rivaling parasitic entity. Leech hands you only just enough information to get by, and whether its historical fantasy, an alternate timeline, or futuristic post apocalypse is hard to determine. It’s spooky and a bit weird and wildly creative.

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, a small independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Features a sapphic relationship but focuses more on world-building than romance.

Ninefox Gambit (Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance. Disgraced Captain Kel Cheris is given a second chance by allying with the undead Commander Shous Jedao, who in life never lost a battle, but also went mad and massacred his own army. Now, Cheris must decide just how far she can trust him, with her forces as well as with her sense of self.

My Heart is Human by Reese Hogan

Nine years ago, all complex technology was made illegal. This complicates life for Joel, young transgender single father, as a bionic just uploaded itself into his brain without consent. Scared of losing his daughter, Joel tries to keep the bionic secret while using it to fix his life, but things quickly get more complicated as the bionic gains more and more control of his body. A bit simplistic in writing style but makes a lot of cool parallels of bodily autonomy to Joel’s experiences as a transman.

Bonus rec: if you like the general concept of struggling for physical control over one’s body with an AI, may I also suggest the (much grittier and gory) movie Upgrade.

The Host by Stehpenie Meyer*

The Host follows Wanderer, an alien part of an invading force on Earth. Humans have been defeated and are being used as host bodies, but Wanderer's host Melanie is being difficult and refuses to fade away. Instead she fills Wanderer's mind with images of Jared, the man she loves and who's still in hiding. With Melanie's feelings bleeding into Wanderer's the two reluctantly ally to find and keep safe the man they both love. While The Host does feature Meyer's trademark romance - of which I'm not the biggest fan - the more interesting and arguably more central relationship is that between Wanderer and her human host.

Needle by Hal Clement

1950s classic. A small island in the pacific ocean and a fourteen-year-old boy have just become the center of an interstellar chase between an alien Hunter and the criminal he’s pursuing. Robert is a regular boy, but he has a very special passenger: an alien symbiont hiding inside his body. The alien became stranded on Earth as he pursued a criminal of his own species, and now they are both trapped on the same island, playing a game of cat and mouse as Robert and the Hunter struggle to find their prey before it finds them.

Malevolent by Harlan Guthrie*

Lovecraftian horror mystery. Private detective Arthur Lester wakes up in his office, his partner dead, memories fuzzy, vision gone, and the voice of a malevolent entity in his mind. Unable to see, Arthur is forced to rely on guidance from the entity as he attempts to solve the mystery of what it is and where it came from. Is this a book? No. But as someone who reads mostly audiobooks, the difference between a book and a fiction podcast is negligible, and also I love this story and its characters and want all of you to do so too.

Goddess of Filth by V. Castro

Novella. What starts as a drunken seance between friends ends with one of them chanting in Nahuatl, the language of their Aztec ancestors. Following that night, the formerly shy Fernanda has changed. While her family calls for priests, claiming her possessed by a demon, Fernanda's friends believe what has taken up residence in her is something decidedly older. A quick read featuring female rage, desire and empowerment, this is a different twist on the typical possession story.

This Alien Shore by C.S. Friedman

Space opera in which humanity found a way to faster than light travel and began establishing colonies all over the galaxy, only to belatedly realize the method of FTL caused irreversible mutations and disabilities and leaving their nascent colonies to die. Much later, many of the colonies have survived and thrived, and one has found a new method of FTL travel, allowing an interconnected space society to grow. However, Earth is on the hunt for their method and is prepared to do anything to steal it. Trapped in the middle of all this and forced on the run is young Jamisia, who is little by little coming to realize that not only might she be the very solution Earth is after, she's also not alone in her own mind and body.

Touch by Claire North*

Kepler should have died long ago, beaten to death in an alley. Instead, a switch happened as Kepler leapt into and took control of the body of the killer. Since then, Kepler has lived in body after body, having gained the ability to inhabit anyone with a touch and stay for anything from a few minutes to an entire lifetime. Kepler cares much for the host bodies, and when one of them is brutally assassinated, Kepler must find the killer, avenge the host's death, and stop it from happening again. You want a fucked up main character with fucked up morals who still genuinely cares for people? Then boy do I have the book for you!

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk

Fantasy romance. Beatrice Clayborn is a sorceress, but if her family gets its way she won't remain so for long. Married women are forbidden from practicing magic, and Beatrice's father is intent on marrying her off to save them from destitution. Beatrice has a different plan: become so powerful a sorceress that she can herself save her father's business and becomes too valuable to marry off. To achieve this, she strikes a bargain with a minor spirit of fortune. In return, the spirit demands to be present in Beatrice's body as she experiences her first kiss... a kiss with a man who might jeopardize all her plans.

Pandemonium by Daryl Gregory

Del Perce's world is almost indistinguishable from ours, the only difference being the presence of possessing entities that can strike with little to no warning. When he was young, Del was possessed by one of these demons, which was eventually exorcised. But now he’s experiencing a resurgence of symptoms, a voice in his head demanding to be freed. To save himself, Del races to find out the truth behind the possessions.

The Thousand Eyes (The Serpent Gates duology) by A.K. Larkwood*

Sequel to The Unspoken Name (please read that first, I promise this duology is very worth it). These books have a lot going on: portals, flying ships, orcs, elves, creepy snake gods, possessions, cults, immortal evil mages who traumatize teens as their hobby, gay and lesbian frenemies, the works. Csorwe, born and raised in a cult and meant as a sacrifice, escapes her intended death with a mage who becomes her mentor. But he has dangerous motives of his own, and Csorwe must decide where her loyalties lie.

A Skinful of Shadows by Frances Hardinge

Young adult, historical. All her life, Makepeace's mother has been teaching her how to defend herself from the possession of ghosts, until one day her guard drops and a wild and fierce spirit slips in. When Makepeace's mother dies and she is sent to live with her father's family, this spirit might be her only defence. Because her family is harboring dark secrets, and they have plans for Makepeace... plans which do not care for her well-being. Unlike most other YA I've read in terms of vibes and plot, A Skinful of Shadows is a unique and intriguing read.

Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson*

Young adult fantasy. Artemisia prefers the dead to the living, and is training to become a Gray Sister, a nun who helps the souls of the deceased pass on to the afterlife rather than remain as dangerous spirits. To defend her convent, Artemisia accepts the help of a dangerous revenant, a powerful spirit which grants her great power but also could possess her the moment her guard is lowered. As evil threatens her homeland, Artemisia and the revenant must find a way to work together.

A Psalm of Storms and Silence by Roseanne A. Brown

Young adult fantasy. Sequel to A Song of Wraiths and Ruin. To save his family, Malik has made a deal with a dangerous spirit with equally dangerous demands - the death of the princess. Meanwhile, princess Karina is seeking her own power, meaning to resurrect her assassinated sister no matter what the prize. As their paths intertwine, the consequences of their pursuits keep getting higher, both for them, their nation, and the entire world.

Grey Sister (Book of the Ancestor trilogy) by Mark Lawrence

Sequel to Red Sister. Fantasy with sci-fi flavor. Nona is being raised to become a killer at the Convent of Sweet Mercy. But dangerous classes aren’t Nona's only problem: her planet is slowly dying, and her own inner demons whisper in her mind. As the sun grows weaker and ice creeps ever closer, Nona and her allies race to save themselves from extinction.

Fifth Quarter (Quarters series) by Tanya Huff*

Sequel to Sing the Four Quarters. Fifth Quarter is only loosely connected to the first book in the series so you could read it as a standalone, however I still recommend starting with Sing the Four Quarters as it is very good. Bannon and Vree are siblings and highly skilled assassins, but they are put to the test when a failed assassination finds them sharing a body, their intended victim having stolen Bannon's. Now, they must choose between remaining loyal to their Empire, or helping their supposed victim find a new body to steal - and he doesn't want just any body, he wants the royal prince.

The Nein Eyes of Lucien by Madeline Roux*

Recommended with the caveat that you're unlikely to get the full experience unless you have also watched Critical Role Campaign 2 (which is quite the time investment, but very worth it). It follows the antagonist Lucien, first owner of the body we know as Mollymauk Tealeaf, both before Lucien lost his body and after he regains it in the ultimate struggle against Mollymauk's old friends, the Mighty Nein.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

The Scratch Daughters (The Scapegracers trilogy) by H.A. Clarke

Sequel to The Scrapegracers. Sideways Pike used to be able to perform only party tricks, but in finding new friends and starting a coven, the four become powerful witches. But not everyone wants witches around. After having gotten her spectre stolen and losing her ability to perform magic, Sideways is forced to rely on Mr. Scratch, a book demon taking the place of her spectre to keep her alive. Now she must struggle to get her magic back before it’s too late.

Riding the Odds by Lynda K. Scott

Sci-fi romance. Tara Rowan is a spaceship captain with secrets - a past she wants to leave behind, and Zie, an organic symbiote which grants her greater strengths and reflexes. But when sexy Holy Knight Trace Munroe blackmails her in an attempt to rescue a missing princess, Tara's secrets are in danger of being revealed.

What Doesn't Break by Cassandra Khaw

Like The Nine Eyes of Lucien, you're unlikely to get the full experience of What Doesn't Break unless you're also a viewer of Critical Role. It follows the backstory of Laudna, undead sorceress and warlock with the ghostly presence of the necromancer who once murdered her keeping residence in her mind and tugging at her strings.

Every Day (Every Day trilogy) by David Levithan

Every day, A wakes up with a new body and a new life. A has rules on how to deal with this existence - don't get attached, don't get noticed, and don't interfere. But when A finds themself falling in love, all their established rules no longer apply. This one has also been adapted as a movie!

This Body's Not Big Enough for Both of Us by Edgar Cantero

A. and Z. Kimrean are twin siblings and private eyes - they also share the same body, calling themselves A.Z. When someone starts murdering the sons and heirs of a ruthless crime boss, it falls on A.Z. Kimrean to solve the case and find the killer before all out gang war breaks out.

A Madness of Angels (Matthew Swift series) by Kate Griffin

Two years ago, sorcerer Matthew Swift was killed. Today, he woke back up. And he isn't alone in his body... Now, he seeks vengeance not only against the one who killed him, but also against the one who brought him back.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: Bone Rider by J. Fally, The Lives of Tao by Wesley Chu, What's Left of Me by Kat Zhang, Hunter of Demons by Jordan L. Hawk, Odder Still by D.N. Bryn

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misterlemonztenth · 1 month

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03-15-24 | Today in 1879 Albert Einstein was born in Wurttemberg, Germany. He would be 145 today. He died in 1955 in Princeton, NJ.

Happy Birthday Albert.

Here are some insights from the one and only Albert Einstein. He is most known as a popular scientist who dramatically changed humanity’s engagement with the world. This post illuminates some of his equally amazing insights beyond the science and beyond the physical.

“I didn't arrive at my understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind.”

2. “Concerning matter, we have been all wrong. What we have called matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses. Matter is spirit reduced to point of visibility. There is no matter.”

"Time and space are not conditions in which we live, but modes by which we think.

Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, determined by the external world."

“Time does not exist – we invented it. Time is what the clock says. The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me."

"The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, the solution comes to you and you don’t know how or why.”

"A human being experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

"Our separation from each other is an optical illusion."

“When something vibrates, the electrons of the entire universe resonate with it. Everything is connected. The greatest tragedy of human existence is the illusion of separateness.”

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

“We are souls dressed up in sacred biochemical garments and our bodies are the instruments through which our souls play their music.”

“When you examine the lives of the most influential people who have ever walked among us, you discover one thread that winds through them all. They have been aligned first with their spiritual nature and only then with their physical selves.”

“The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.”

“The ancients knew something, which we seem to have forgotten.”

“The more I learn of physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.”

“One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike. We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us. It is entirely possible that behind the perception of our senses, worlds are hidden of which we are unaware.”

“I’m not an atheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written those books.”

"The common idea that I am an atheist is based on a big mistake. Anyone who interprets my scientific theories this way, did not understand them."

"Everything is determined, every beginning and ending, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper."

“The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It will transcend a personal God and avoid dogma and theology.”

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.”

“Everything is energy and that is all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you can not help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

"I am happy because I want nothing from anyone. I do not care about money. Decorations, titles or distinctions mean nothing to me. I do not crave praise. I claim credit for nothing. A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future." misterlemonztenth.tumblr.com/archive

#misterlemonztenth #original post #albert einstein #portrait #princeton

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pinkthick · 4 months

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I did this for you

Pairing: Doctor Strange Supreme/Reader

Summary: Time hung in suspension as the Watcher's dispassionate voice echoed, "You were supposed to let her die, Strange." Stephen, fueled by a stubborn will to defy fate, roared in defiance, "But the world shouldn't pay for my arrogance! Punish me. Not the world! Not Y/N!"

Warnings: Talking of suicide/suicide attempt

In the desolate remnants of a collapsing universe, Doctor Strange Supreme clung to the one thing he managed to salvage—Y/N. Their reunion, though victorious, was overshadowed by the impending doom that loomed over them. Stephen desperately pleaded with the Watcher, his voice echoing through the void, "Please! You can undo this!" The Watcher, a stoic figure bathed in cosmic light, scoffed at Stephen's plea. The universe, still unraveling, seemed indifferent to the sorcerer's struggle. Stephen strained against the impending chaos, attempting to wield his powers to stave off the inevitable.

But the universe, wounded and irrevocably damaged, resisted his efforts.

Y/N, bewildered and terrified, watched as Stephen battled forces beyond comprehension. Her eyes reflected the fear that gripped her soul, unable to grasp the cosmic turmoil surrounding them. Stephen, torn between saving Y/N and preserving the collapsing reality, looked at her with a mix of regret and determination.

Time hung in suspension as the Watcher's dispassionate voice echoed, "You were supposed to let her die, Strange." Stephen, fueled by a stubborn will to defy fate, roared in defiance, "But the world shouldn't pay for my arrogance! Punish me. Not the world! Not Y/N!" He strained against the cosmic forces, trying to shield Y/N from the impending cataclysm. The Watcher, an observer bound by the immutable laws of the multiverse, scoffed at the desperate sorcerer. "You knew the consequences of your actions, Stephen. The threads of fate cannot be rewoven once severed."

As the universe crumbled, Stephen's powers faltered. Y/N, caught in the chaos, gazed at him with fear, unknowingly witnessing a being torn between love and the burden of his own sins. The sorcerer, fueled by the urgency to protect Y/N, channeled the dark and forbidden magic he had harnessed in his pursuit of power. His hands moved with an almost frantic grace, attempting to hold back the impending collapse.

"You can't defy fate, Strange," the Watcher intoned, a voice untouched by sympathy. "You were warned of the consequences."

Stephen, beads of sweat forming on his forehead, met Y/N's gaze one last time. "I won't let you go. I won't lose you again," he vowed, his voice filled with a desperate determination. Stephen refused to succumb to the inevitability. With a surge of raw magical power, he attempted to create a pocket dimension, a sanctuary from the collapsing cosmos. His eyes glowed with an ethereal intensity as he strained against the cosmic forces tearing at the fabric of existence.

The Watcher, indifferent to the sorcerer's plight, withdrew from the collapsing reality, leaving Stephen and Y/N alone in the fragile sanctuary of the pocket dimension the sorcerer created. As the entity faded into the cosmic void, the echoes of its parting words lingered, a haunting reminder of the irreversible consequences. With the collapsing universe held at bay, Stephen's trembling form fell to his knees. The once-mighty sorcerer now appeared vulnerable, his shoulders sagging under the weight of his failures. Tears streamed down his face, his anguished sobs echoing in the ethereal confines of the pocket dimension.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Y/N," Stephen whispered through choked sobs, unable to meet her gaze. The reality he had fought so desperately to preserve had shattered, and he found himself ensnared in the merciless grip of remorse. But Y/N, standing at a safe distance, seemed oblivious to the cosmic cataclysm that had transpired. The disorientation etched across her face betrayed her lack of comprehension. "This must be a joke, right? Right?" she stammered, her voice tinged with confusion. “We were just at the gala... weren't we?" Panic laced her words, the dissonance between her memories and the shattered reality causing her distress.

Y/N approached Stephen tentatively, her eyes filled with both concern and fear. "You were something weird just minutes ago, and now... What's happening?" Her voice trembled, mirroring the uncertainty that enveloped the surreal pocket dimension.

Stephen, unable to meet her gaze, raised his head. His tear-stained eyes reflected the profound regret etched onto his face. "I tried to save you. I thought I could fix everything," he admitted, his voice heavy with the weight of failure. As Y/N attempted to grasp the unfolding chaos, Stephen's shoulders shook with the intensity of his grief. "I never wanted you to be a part of this. I never wanted any of this," he confessed, his words a desperate plea for understanding.

Y/N's panic escalated into hysteria as she confronted the shattered reality that surrounded her. "No, don't give me that bullshit! What the fuck happened?" she demanded, her voice a mixture of desperation and frustration. The surreal circumstances, the shattered memories, and the dissonance of the situation fueled her distress.

Stephen, still on his knees, finally summoned the courage to look into Y/N's eyes. His own were red and swollen from tears. "I..." he began, his voice breaking as he struggled to find the right words to explain the unfathomable. He recounted the devastating event—the car accident that claimed Y/N's life. The unbearable grief that followed led him to seek solace in Kamar-Taj, where he embraced the arts of sorcery. In his pursuit of power, he discovered the Eye of Agamotto, a mystical artifact housing the Time Stone—a relic capable of bending time itself.

With a tremor in his voice, Stephen explained that Y/N's death had been deemed an absolute point in time, an event immutable even by the powers of the Time Stone. The Ancient One had warned him of the dire consequences of tampering with such pivotal moments, cautioning that altering this absolute point could unleash chaos and destruction upon the world. But Stephen, consumed by grief and blinded by his desperation to save Y/N, disregarded the warnings. He delved into forbidden knowledge, absorbing creatures and harvesting their magical essence for centuries, accumulating power beyond mortal comprehension.

"But I didn't care," Stephen admitted, his voice wrought with remorse. "I couldn't bear to live without you. The world, the universe—it all meant nothing to me without you by my side."

Y/N's laughter, a bitter and incredulous sound, cut through the heavy air as Stephen finished his agonizing confession. "You're a fucking idiot," she spat, the words a searing indictment of the sorcerer who had wrought chaos in the name of love. Stephen, still sobbing, reached out to comfort her himself . He longed for the solace of connection, a reassurance that the woman before him could somehow understand the depths of his regret. "Y/N..." he began, his voice pleading.

But Y/N recoiled, a mixture of disbelief and fear etched across her face. "Don't fucking touch me. I don't even know if you're my Stephen," she yelled, her eyes filled with a wariness that mirrored the shattered reality surrounding them.

Confusion and desperation contorted Stephen's features. "What? Y/N—"

"I don't know you!" she interrupted, her voice laced with frustration and anguish.

"You went back in time, manipulated the universe, absorbed creatures for centuries? You're not the man I loved. You're some twisted version of him, some monster who thought he could play with time and cheat death."

Y/N took a step back, eyeing Stephen with a mix of trepidation and disbelief. The sorcerer, his soul laid bare by Y/N's accusatory words, choked on the truth that had unfolded. "A monster? You think—I'm a monster?" he whispered, the weight of her judgment pressing upon him like a crushing burden.

Y/N, her gaze unwavering, met his eyes with a haunting intensity. "I don't even know if it's really you," she declared, the words hanging heavy in the air.

Stephen, desperate to bridge the widening gap, reached out once more. "Y/N, please. I did all of this because I couldn't bear to lose you. I thought I could save you, no matter the cost."

But Y/N remained steadfast, her gaze unmoving. "Save me? You dragged me into your madness. This isn't saving. This is a nightmare."

“Y/N, all I did was for you ," Stephen pleaded, his voice desperate, the echoes of his anguish reverberating in the dissonant pocket dimension.

"For me? What did you do for me, Stephen Strange? Huh?!" Y/N snapped, her anger a blazing wildfire. "You killed billions. You killed my family, your brother, our friends, innocent people, the whole universe!" The weight of the world, the ‘collateral’ damage of Stephen's pursuit, hung heavy in her accusatory words.

Stephen, unable to bear the onslaught of truth, covered his ears as if attempting to shield himself from the damning reality. "Please... no—stop," he begged, his voice a shaky whisper.

But Y/N, fueled by a righteous anger, refused to relent. "Look around you! You did this!" she exclaimed, gesturing to the fractured and chaotic remnants of the pocket dimension.

Tears streamed down Stephen's face as Y/N continued her tirade. "No... No. Stop," he pleaded, his heart breaking with each accusation hurled at him.

"I said fucking look around you!" Y/N's anger intensified, a tempest of emotions unleashed upon the sorcerer. Stephen, overwhelmed and tormented, snapped. His eyes glowed with a different intensity, a manifestation of the dark forces that had seeped into his very being. "I said stop! Fucking stop! " he yelled, the words resonating with an otherworldly power. The pocket dimension trembled in response to Stephen's tumultuous emotions. The fractured reality seemed to mirror the fractured psyche of the sorcerer who had dared to play with the fabric of existence. Oh, that wasn’t good.

As Y/N watched in stunned silence, Stephen, unable to contain the tumult of emotions within him, began losing control of his human form once more. The doctor cried out as his human body started to fall apart. His fingers on his left hand began to tremble and morph into tentacles. His wings sprouted from his shoulders and slammed into the walls of the pocket dimension. Then he experienced his vertebrae horrifyingly fracturing into something before developing into a tail. He wanted to puke, even he was repulsed by himself. He wailed once more as Y/N screamed at him? Stephen was unable to maintain his balance and the side of his face hit the ground below him. His body had stopped responding to him, and his brain was throbbing.

As Stephen, consumed by panic, curled into himself, the pocket dimension echoed with ominous creaks and cracks. His breaths ragged and uneven, he seemed trapped in the clutches of his own unraveling mind. The doctor writhed in physical agony, the monstrous manifestation contorting him and Y/N rushed to his side. "Stephen?" she called out in concern, but he only groaned in response.

Casting aside her anger, Y/N knelt beside Stephen, her eyes wide with helplessness. “Do something!” She exclaimed as she felt a tentacle rounding around her leg slightly

His cries of anguish echoed in the cavernous emptiness of the pocket dimension. "I can't—I... Y/N. It hurts so much," Stephen sobbed, his words a tortured admission of the agony consuming him. The swirling chaos of his monstrous form only intensified, and Y/N felt the eerie tentacle's grip tighten further. Okay, he needs to calm down so we won’t fucking die.

"Y/N...?" Stephen's pained voice wavered as he attempted to get up, his head pounding with an intensity that made every movement an agonizing endeavor. The mystical cloak attached to him, sensing his instability, fluttered and swirled, trying to keep him upright. Y/N, desperate to help, positioned herself beside him, attempting to steady the sorcerer in the throes of his monstrous transformation.

"Stephen, I'm sorry—no! Don't try to get u—" Y/N's plea was cut short as Stephen, struggling against the debilitating pain, almost fell on her. With a desperate attempt to regain control, he managed to stop himself from literally collapsing onto her, supporting his weight with his hands.

He stopped just short of falling completely, his hands—no longer human —pressed against the ground on either side of Y/N. She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Oh, fuck... okay. Shit." Y/N's voice held a mix of exasperation and concern as she found herself practically trapped beneath Stephen. His face had so many eyes, but the ones she focused on were the ones that were looking at her with infinite sadness. Oh Stephen..

Struggling to free herself from beneath Stephen, Y/N found her efforts thwarted by his unsteady weight. She shifted and squirmed, attempting to slide out, but it seemed that each move only entangled her further. "Great..." she muttered under her breath, frustration evident in her voice. Stephen, groaning in discomfort, was at least aware of the predicament. The pounding in his head intensified, and he winced, realizing the toll of his defiance against the natural order. Yet, in the midst of the chaos, a small reprieve emerged—the pocket dimension ceased its self-destruction. The fragments of the shattered universe, held together by the last vestiges of Stephen's magic, stabilized.

Y/N, realizing that attempting to move was futile at the moment, shifted her focus to Stephen. "Hey, are you alright?" With Y/N still trapped beneath the cloak and Stephen's weakened state, a muted irony colored his response as he managed to sit up slightly, leaning against a nearby wall. His wings and tentacles remained motionless as he remarked with a dry tone "I'm great, really.” She settled against the opposite wall as she managed to get up from under him, a heavy silence hanging in the air.

“I should be more scared.." she admitted with a heavy sigh, her gaze fixed on Stephen. But she wasn’t. She was concerned and angry. His response carried a wince, acknowledging the truth behind her words. "Probably," he conceded as he tucked his wings closer to hide his face.

Y/N's emotions, held in check by a delicate balance of anger and concern, finally broke free. Tears welled up in her eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the overwhelming weight of the recent events. Stephen, his own exhaustion evident, couldn't find the words to console her. As Y/N's tears fell, a strange warmth enveloped her. The once elegant blue dress and heels transformed into comfortable clothes and Converse shoes, a subtle magic weaving comfort into the surreal pocket dimension. It was a small gesture, but in that moment, it spoke volumes about the connection between the sorcerer and her.

In a voice barely above a whisper, Y/N expressed her gratitude, "Thank you." The tentacles, dormant until now, stirred to life along with Stephen's tail, a response that mirrored the depth of emotion swirling within him.

Y/N's quiet voice cut through the stillness, her eyes searching Stephen's for answers. "So this is it? I won't wake up from a nightmare? We'll be stuck here forever?" The weight of uncertainty hung in the air, the echo of her words blending with the remnants of the universe that surrounded them. Stephen, meeting her gaze, struggled to find a response. The reality of their situation, trapped in this fractured refuge, was an unspoken truth neither wanted to fully acknowledge. His tentacles and tail swayed in a hesitant dance, reflecting the turmoil within. “I don't know," he admitted, his voice carrying a somber honesty.

Y/N's despair manifested in silent tears as she buried her face into her knees. The weight of the unknown future pressed heavily upon her, and Stephen, still and contemplative, grappled with the consequences of his actions. The fractured refuge echoed with the sobs that escaped from the depths of her grief.

A heavy silence enveloped them, broken only by Stephen's haunting words. "Maybe I should have killed myself," he uttered, a raw admission that cut through the stillness. Y/N, lifting her tear-streaked face, stared at him in disbelief. "I wanted to do it. Five times, actually," Stephen continued, his admission hanging in the hollow space. A deep sigh escaped him, his gaze distant as he faced the haunting echoes of his past

Stephen walked.

The light of the moon and the stars guided his way.

He visited Donna and Y/N’s grave earlier that night. It was always so quiet.

He found a little hill near Y/N’s grave. With a lot of flowers. It was nice. Pretty like her.

He sat on the ground and looked up.

In the end, she loved him. And he loved her. Too much that is.

He missed her bad jokes.

The gun felt cool in his hand, warm against his temple. “Y/N..what did the green grape said to the purple grape?”

A laugh.

Breathe, you idiot.

Stephen took a breathe.

And then—

"But I was a coward. Ironic, isn't it? I couldn't even take my own life—but I took the life of a universe." Y/N's tears intensified, her hand pressed against her mouth as emotions threatened to overwhelm her. In a moment of vulnerability, she disregarded the complexities of Stephen's past actions and lunged forward, wrapping her arms around him. Despite his imposing form, he embraced her gently, claws and all. "I'm sorry," Stephen whispered, his voice carrying the weight of remorse. Y/N, still avoiding eye contact, didn't pull away.

"That doesn't mean I'm still not angry... and terrified," she admitted, her words muffled against his shoulder. "We'll talk about... everything," Stephen assured, his tone carrying a sincerity that resonated in the fractured haven. Y/N nodded, acknowledging the need for conversation amidst the cosmic echoes that surrounded them.

"We've got nothing left but time."

Notes: Love my tentacle boy, but he had done wrong. 😔 AND THEY DID HIM DIRTY IN THE LAST EPISODE FROM SEASON 2.

Either way, I’m writing a lot of things with him at the moment so um..if anybody even reads this. I’m sorry?

Tagging: @paola-carter @hamandchickensandwhich @captainannamerica @ivyheliotrope @dornishmanswife @lilithskywalker @yumeillu @winter-cant-decide @andlizeth @withalittlehoney @mintssanctuary @strangesslut @rotindselain @rookiemartin @herseraphwings @robinschaoticlittle @kujosux @alahmorah @drstrangefangirl8900 @sa-filonzana @kety25jhosson @alchemxx @rachelessfreedom-world @silver-shadow-crewe @wolfstarhufflepuff @lucimorningst4r @butchers-girl @dragonqueen89 @rinacreateart @clockblobber @quillweavianstuff @k1mikoz @indoraptorgirlwind @mynamehasbeentakenbysomeperson @crazyhearttragedy

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