#it's not even a term for adhd people!

[mavigator]

i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.

yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.

he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.

i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.

i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .

#and for the record i consider my deformity pretty mild. maybe i’m just used to it but things like amniotic band syndrome can turn out a lot #more severe. i rarely even call myself disabled because i don’t feel like the term is applicable to me. i’m more hindered by like #my adhd anxiety depression etc than i am my hand. so for those kids to react that way to what i THINK #is a pretty small thing. makes me worry about people that are more visibly disabled #Kids.That are more visibly disabled

[roguelibrarian]

when you see people talking about the word neurodivergent being used "too broadly" and how it encompasses multiple different categories of disabilities with zero awareness that that was the fucking point

#it was never EVER supposed to mean just autism and adhd. or even just any developmental disability. #it ALWAYS meant any brain that diverges from what society considers ''normal'' #which means YES people with ptsd or depression or anxiety are ND #YES people with neurological disorders are ND #and even people who don't have an actual diagnosis but have something Weird with their brains that doctors haven't pinned down #the person who coined the word has been very fucking clear about this #it was always meant to be an umbrella term to include as many people as possible #including/especially people who the larger neurodiversity movement was leaving behind and ignoring and punching down on #autistic blogging

[somecunttookmyurl]

non-queer/gender boyfriend content incoming

rhys: *showing me an image on his fb feed that says 'autistic play is not inappropriate play'* what does this mean? inappropriate play?

me: autistic children will often play or interact with things differently to their neurotypical peers like... instead of building something with lego just sorting the blocks into size and colour or what have you and non-autistic adults see this as doing it "wrong" or not "appropriately" and try to stop it and force you to "play" how you are "supposed to". but there is nothing wrong with engaging in play differently as long as it isn't hurting someone, you're simply having fun in a way they don't understand. repeatedly trying to force autistic children to "play properly" isn't going to work it's just shitty and will make them feel bad because they don't understand what they're doing "wrong"

rhys: ohhhhh! is that why my mum would get frustrated with me for just posing my action figures on a shelf in cool ways and would try to get me to like. bash them together

me: yep! the "normal" way of playing with action figures is to act out scenes and make them interact with each other. but you had more fun arranging them nicely and looking at them.

rhys: i don't think she meant anything bad by it

me: not intentionally, no. she just didn't understand that is how you played and thought you just didn't know what you were doing and were confused

#i'm adhd not autistic #so forgive me if i'm incorrect on anything #but he's never been part of an accepting or informative neurodivergent community #so he's autistic but doesn't have any understanding or connection to that really you know? #only that he was in a special class at school with other kids who were autistic and he didn't like them #because they were loud and 'weird' and he didn't want to be that #he did not even know the term 'stim' until we started dating #and his ex of 7 years has an autistic brother like... #anyway again apologies if i mess this up at any point i am doing my best i'm just more connected than he is because of tumblr #i know adhd/asd is like 'well that venn diagram is basically a circle' but you know #also as a result of all this he has NO 'nd radar' which is funny #bc naturally everyone irl he vibes with is nd and i notice immediately like #you think you don't like other autistic people but i have news for you my love

[lilliryth]

Seeing as I just got my diagnosis of level 1 autism (what used to be called “Asperger’s”) coincidentally at the same time that my partner and I started watching NBC’s Hannibal series, I’ve been having a couple thoughts about neurotypical vs. neurodivergent experiences regarding “toggling” different emotional responses. Motivation, empathy, fear, etc. are malleable to some, fixed to others; and sometimes, to those who aren’t born with an automatic reflex in one area or another, it’s a little like breathing or blinking on purpose.

Sometimes (and I think this is the autism at play, now that I have a chance to reframe most of my behavioral tendencies in a new light), someone will tell me a joke, or mention something funny—you know how it is, something genuinely funny—enough to “tickle” my internal sense of humor. But sometimes, even though it does, I feel no physiological urge to laugh.

So, when that happens, I kind of just … pull one out manually.

Sure, some people might think it’s disingenuous. One might make the claim that I don’t actually feel any appreciation for the joke, and instead it is societal pressure to placate the other that motivates me to do it. But the thing is … it’s not. It just isn’t. Even if it doesn’t sound like amusement without dialing up my affect, I do find it funny. It’s just that sometimes a wire in my brain doesn’t quite connect, and I have to push to make the appropriate Human Sounds in order to indicate that I just experienced humor.

The sensation is there, but the action is mindful. Even if I slip up or forget or aren’t diligent enough with how it sounds, I know for a fact that I did find the joke funny, even if the teller thinks I’m only politely going along with it. From what I understand about identifying emotions, it would seem that there is no difference between a choice and a reflex.

This is one example. There are many others, and they all relate to different experiences and emotional deficits. Fake laugh? Ehhh. Intentional laugh? Oh, definitely.

And I think sometimes, for certain individuals, loving is a bit like that, too.

#so yeah basically i really want to believe in mister people eater’s ability to care #even if his demonstrations are #to put it mildly #avant-garde #hannibal #neurodivergence #autism #adhd #personality disorder #aspd #masking #empathy #in the real world too im a big proponent of divorcing ideas of goodness from empathy levels #the way iq is your comprehension and not your intelligence #and in fact #i try not to use the term ‘empathy’ at all #unless it’s literally in reference to how much a person can reflexively feel someone else’s emotions #because ‘compassion’ #the tendency to #by choice or impulse #put in the work required to understand and accommodate someone #is a much better word #if you’re severely antisocial and you have a friend #and the ‘only reason’ you keep them around is because they ‘benefit’ you #but you also understand that treating them like shit will make them not want to be your friend #and therefore make an effort to consciously act as though you care how they feel #guess what #that’s love #you’re willing to accommodate because you like the world better when they’re next to you #that’s love.

[sunkern-plus]

also i'm sick of people treating emotional eating as something that makes you pathetic

it's LITERALLY consensus that it's caused by poor emotional regulation (which is caused by trauma or disability most of the time) and issues related to trauma and it's often genetic (purely anecdotal but i literally come from an entire line of emotional eaters)

and also from the autistic and adhd community i feel like the only autistic/adhd comorbid person who COMPULSIVELY and EMOTIONALLY eats and everyone on tumblr seems to like. not do that. even though compulsive and emotional eating is more often associated with more severe presentations of adhd/more common in afaik low-middle and middle support autism presentations and autism that's frequently comorbid with intellectual disability so i guess you people don't wanna be like Those Autistics, which, somehow includes me!

#fatphobia for ts #(because let's be real the stigma against emotional eaters is fatphobia against fat people who meet stereotypes) #(or are fat for the Wrong Reasons instead of Acceptable Good Fatty Reasons) #and also #ableism for ts #because it's literally linked to symptoms of GASP! adhd autism bpd etc #adhd autism AND bpd all involve poor emotional regulation and cptsd does too #and my grandma likely had cptsd from being abused long term by her husband (and was already predisposed to emotional eating re: genetics) #and my mom not only has severe ocd but probably has untreated bpd as well AND was predisposed due to literal cptsd symptoms and genetics #(like she was CHRONICALLY abused both fatphobically DESPITE NOT BEING FAT AT THE TIME and otherwise by her parents) #and then there's me who was ALSO chronically abused by my grandfather had emotional dysregulation issues since ONE AND A HALF #and tbh have always had issues even telling if i was full unless i felt like vomiting which COULD be linked to autism #but no autistic person online says that's something that happens and autistics ALWAYS restrict or forget to eat (not me lmao)

[orangerosebush]

In my opinion, Artemis and Angeline have very similar experiences of paranoia as a symptom of

And thus every single family vacation will have a like, medieval war general moment where you can watch them animatedly debate the merits and/or weak points of whatever barricade they've constructed in front of the hotel room door

#I jest but I HC that Artemis' paranoia somewhat genetically comes from his mother's side whereas his issues with dissociation and #reality assessment is more genetically on his father's side of the family #The twins occupy this weird space in the family where they were born after a lot of things exacerbating mental illness in the family were #less present than when Artemis was young due to the Fowl empire #like my personal version of this is watching my aunts' kids grow up in a house where they were diagnosed with autism and adhd really really #young bc their mothers work in early ed. and are really knowledgeable about how to apply that in their home so that they have the support #they need #and let me tell you watching young autistic relatives exist and interact w kids their age who are so much better #about including 'different' peers socially then when I was a kid? that is so fucking surreal #I am very much an 'autistic Artemis truther' and I know Fox has some posts about Tim being autistic too during an era of the Fowls where it #wouldn't have even been 'masking' to borrow a contemporary term so much as just learning Not to Act Fucking Weird ever and performing this #whenever there is someone else present #but to return to the point of this post Artemis and Angeline will see a 5-star resort with insane security and go 'what I'm hearing is that #when the sun sets we will be in the Purge' #Artemis' form of paranoia is fascinating because he experiences it in the 'struggles trusting people and can spiral and believe people are #out to get him and harm him when that is not realistically assessing a situation' but also has horrible risk assessment which is so realist #realistic lmao

[wlwitchofwhitestone]

I'm annoyed by the biphobic bs again. Nothing new to see here. If you read more don't come make it my problem.

I'm not even bi I'm just exhausted on their behalf because the biphobia in this fandom is such a fucking trip. Swear to god if I see L&I described again as lesbians I'm just going to start blocking. It's all plausible deniability and bad faith with y'all and I'm tired of it. People just keep moving the goalposts. Yes comphet is real, no you can't throw it out there for every situation involving two women forever because "you can't prove any previous encounter was real." We have canon crushes and an active attempt at a date with a guy and it's not enough. Don't think I didn't notice also how our Faun druid was allowed and welcomed into the dynamic until she wanted to fuck that old man and didn't say sike and now there's next to nothing about her. Forget ace L, because we are far, far away from the time where anyone is going to respect a physically...uninterested character not wired for sex saying "I turned that part of my brain off a long time ago" - this is still just straight up erasure of a stated canon intrigue and no it's "they're definitely lesbians, I can tell, why are you calling me biphobic/you sound like a t*rf/lesbophobe yourself" (what a hilariously bad faith reading of literally anything I've said as a demigray lesbian, but even if I wasn't, come the fuck on.)

I have watched y'all be fucking shitty to Caleb in real time in the name of your mollys and your drow war criminals and "will he shut up so we can get back to the lesbians," I watched people make the VERY reasonable hc that c2's barbarian was bi before it was "confirmed" otherwise in episode 90-something by her saying "not my thing" and they got ass blasted, I watched the be*ujes ship turn into a seething hotbed of t*rf rot that permeates this ship a campaign later, and I watched people crow about how Liam "finally" played a "real" queer character when our resident halfling said he was only into dudes. Get better soon.

#Ashley pretty specifically used neutral terms talking about partners #Openly flirted with fjord - even my ace ass saw it - and also with wulf #And even if you want to say that's not what happened bc she's a lesbian fine I'll believe you #But those who saw themselves in bi yasha didn't deserve how fandom treated them #And bi people who are fans of L&I don't deserve this shit either #Salt tag #No reblog allowed this is in fact a vent post bc it's extremely frustrating and I don't feel like working on my report #Adhd won this round but idc #I'm so tired of my entire c3 experience being about a ship that isn't a thing yet #But I can get over that it's fine I got here via the rare ship I enjoy #But the blatant biphobic bullshit is exhausting on top

[anurarana]

Sorry sorry I was just reading a reply of a post where someone was like the difference between a mental illness and a mental disorder is that one implies a strive to find a cure and I'm just like... babe what world do you live in where people don't want to "fix" you

#yes even so called destigmatized disorders are still seen as something that needs to be solved and eradicated #this was on like a post about how neurodivergent doesnt just mean adhd and autism but also a plethora of other #mental disorders and illnesses that people dont make cute little aesthetic jokes about #but thats just the thing loves you make the jokes and the positivity posts about yourself others still want you to sit calmly and shut up #and that leads into why i have so much resentment over neurotypical bc by using this one umbrella term you are completely erasing #and fucking sanitizing the experiences of other mentally ill people that dont fit your fun quirky image #i didnt want to rant on that post bc i get it i get why people find comfort in the term but the more i think about the more i dislike it #having adhd doesnt give you a pass to leave other mentally ill people behind to not learn and advocate for eachother #to dismiss them of their struggles when they beg you to sympathize with them bc you want stable people to feel comfortable #meant to say neurodivergent there it is too early in the morning im just having a cynical laugh #delete later #it was just such a fucking weird hill to die on even ignoring everything else who are you to say someone with ptsd or anxiety #or schizophrenia cant call themselves whatever the fuck they want

[feline-insolitum]

i think no one should ever call me neurospicy i think i would rather be shot dead

#also its been like taken over by a lot of people with low support needs autism/adhd/both and like nothing else #my brother in christ i am borderline and schizospec and maybe ocd #i am neurodivergent just like the neurospicies #but if i were to call myself neurospicy or even neurodivergent #im extremely convinced they would say like “no youre just insane” or something #qhar...... #i think the term neurospicy should die forever #ERROR 501

[clamorybus]

i hate when you first hear of a neutral term in a completely negative context so now whenever you hear it, it just makes you flinch

#im talking specifically about the term 'safe food' #i don't like talking about it but i spent about 6 years on proana/edblr #and the first time i ever heard of 'safe food' was strictly in that context #and idk if its like a therapy term or what #but i swear ive only heard it used outside of ed circles for like the last year and a half #and sporadically at that #but earlier i saw an advice post for autistics & people with adhd that used the term safe food #and it was like. surprisingly triggering even though they op just used the word #and it wouldn't even make sense in an edblr context because they used an illustration of fremch fries #and i just. haven't been unable to stop thinking about it all day even though i know its literally nothing #i just #ahdjwbdjdjsjwhdj #idk this is a nothing post i just hate how mental illness can make even the most innocuous thing a trigger #guh #mickey.txt #ed tw #eating disorders #tw eating disorders

[bellincurl]

Expanding on something I’ve said before about Jerma. Like I have stupid bad Adhd and developmental issues and I’ve never seen someone online share so many of my in person mannerisms as him. Which yknow double whammy when he also has Adhd. But then seeing the trends of jokes towards him about being some Fake human, animal guy, shapeshifter who can’t think coherently and seems to stumble any basic movement is mental cause that’s all the exact shit people bullied me with and still say to me as an adult. I don’t think anyone irl thinks they’re being mean saying I’m stupid or like an animal or infant constantly but they Do think the way I exist is funny, they do think the way I move is funny, stammering and struggling to open packets is funny, processing issues and slowness is funny. Maybe I’m being overly personal, I also find the jokes and jerma’s stuff entertaining but there’s some kinda bitter irony in seeing a dude who I act so much like in terms of mannerisms getting the same jokes made at him that I do.

#Like idk I could be reaching but neurodivergency is more than just hyperfixes and special interests #and you do have to be nice to people who operate in weird ways in terms of movement and identity and speech even if they're not nd or #anything else bc it's far more than just autism and adhd right. #It's not a crime to just emote weird and speak a little jumbled. leave people be

[lesbian-choso]

The weakest link in the neurodivergent community are people with ADHD/autism that equate the term neurodivergent with exclusively ADHD/autism, all the while continuing to punch down on other people in the community with more stigmatised disorders.

#the amount of times I’ve been scrolling on tiktok seeing posts by adhd/autistic people and it’s just them being haha npd haha bpd haha aspd #even worse when you see these people using terms like ‘narcissistic abuse’ and ‘borderline abuse’ and it’s like????? those ppl are part of #the community??? neurotypicals aren’t going to like you more and see you as superior because you shit on ppl with personality disorders.

[perenlop]

i keep projecting onto my ocs girl help im afraid theyre repetitive now

#both quinn and maya have bad memory issues augh #skylar literally has amnesia too #ig quinn doesnt talk about hers as much bc she prefers to blend in and shes less likely to be asked for things #(and panics really badly when shes asked to keep something in mind or is put on the spot about anything) #and its much more of a focus for her arc #while with maya its more like. something she plays into? like she definitely struggles with memory stuff #but part of it is just that she does not even try to take in the people around her even if they know her she will not know them #not if they had a conversation not their face nothing. she also forgets how to do small tasks often and needs plenty of reminders #but unlike quinn she embraces it and knows it and actually will lean into it to make pokemon not pay her any mind really #echoed voice #skylar also does have trouble retaining short term memory like man ive got one in every generation #which is part of their adhd AND their general memory loss #asha has to remind them of most things

[avese23]

Entrapta and Scorpia’s friendship screams autism 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻 adhd and it’s really wholesome to watch. I also think it’s why they treat each other with a lot more empathy and kindness than a lot of the other characters despite being no less stressed or traumatized throughout the show.

#really wanna rewatch she ra through a nd lense and then write about it #a lot of people talk about Adora’s adhd in terms of her restlessness #or even in terms of nate stevenson himself having adhd #but I’d love to analyze the way in which nuerodivergency plays into the chosen one trope #in putting in your all and needing instructions but also the tendency to question those same rules #it’s something I’ve been working with in my own writing #also really fascinated by the role that swiftwind has in understanding she ra as a person #although he says he’s part of her heart specifically rather than her brain

[welcometotheravenclawcommonroom]

Halfway through a cup of coffee and I’m hit with another possible idea for my masters thesis with the force of a wild fever dream

#okay a year left in my program and now I have two very broad ideas and can at least bring something #to people who can help me choose and hammer down specifics #I’m great at ideas #very bad at minutia and logistics #at least in terms of academia #my brain works in big picture but I’ve gotten better at organizing everyday life #because idk being a woman who has adhd with a dad who has adhd but doesn’t try to fix it #and who has no societal expectations to be organized and together unlike women so he weaponizes his incompetence #whereas I don’t have that luxury #means that I kind of have to help hold everything together when I’m home so I can help my overwhelmed mom who can’t do it all #means that I can actually be pretty good at organizing practical crap #but academia is different because i haven’t quite been able to do the same thing there yet since it took years of forced masking #and uncomfortable training against my natural brain way of working #to be able to do it in every day life #but for academia it’s a bit different #so I need major help organizing logistics and minutia there lol anyway #i have ideas and now I get to do the hard part #I’ve got one year left before my MA (assuming I pass all my exams and am even allowed to finish the program) 😅 #so yeah AHHHH

[unproduciblesmackdown]

kompenscovery was such a blessed secret entrance to a Whole Deal (winnie n tay. & i guess billions) when like. having the most specific, correct opinions, and being me, = the ideal is [nobody else try to talk to me about winston billions] and that’s just where we’re at. this is an exclusive experience

#talking to myself / making the wisdom Available by nailing my text posts (and drawings) to the church doors but then i walk away #meanwhile also of course the hero who permits [my monologuing abt winston all the more behind the scenes] w/o being sick of it after 9000hrs #i think probably other people talk abt winston but not in ways i'm interested in. Except absolute rando twitter billions viewers #this like 60 or 70 yr old lady from twitter who Loves winston. and presumably through the will roland angle lol she went to bway bmc.... #just other one off tweets abt ppl like yeah he's one of my / the fave. um hell yes my scholar #or no wait lmfao like again i'd talk about this w/beth roland in theory lmfao. maybe even also hero & scholar & relevant party william #the niche on niche on niche like. looking into deh As Jared Kleinman Lore. liking an actor's je ne sais quoi & scrambling when finding out #that his upcoming bway role is Thee Lead thank you very much....the dramatic fateful saga that was [ending up watching the then available #clips from billions which was up to kompenso]....finding the peak specific peak titrated peak Exact Enrichment gift lol #beyond that i don't see [media enjoyment / takes] as much of like a springboard for Broader Socializing or anything. it Can be ig but. #that's not the goal & not the expectation. at this point reflecting on Myself & My Experiences & My Heart's Truth lmfao i'm like #beyond [i don't think i'd enjoy A Friend Group in actuality] to [i don't think i'm that interested in Friends] series or concept lol #open to whatever & flexible or whatever but eh. already i like Impersonal & Parallel activity & doing my own thing perhaps amongst others #i like impersonal but amicable spontaneous; fleeting exchanges. doing xyz ''alone'' amongst other people. #i like Not having to people please & i'm autistic so i'm generally gonna be considered [unlikable / impersonable / too much / etc] adhd too #although it's not that specific like it goes for Anything. i don't want ppl to talk to me abt [xyz] lol #request a mini monologue / short essay sure but other than that #this isn't a forum....here's the posts left on the door. one can try the anchorite window or sending a letter. doing my own thing yknow #the secret here is ''i mean i like to talk to people but; i actually in practice tend to not like to talk to people'' lmfao #one can check back when many things are more on my own terms / suited to me but. buffering wheel / flipping hourglass mode