#it's not like it'll stain

[carionto]

What Humans call the "Thousand Yard Stare"

As more and more Humans interact with and integrate within Coalition stations, reports, closer to hushed whispers really, began to circulate of some Humans being... discomforting... to be around.

Initially we thought it was just rudeness or passive aggressive behavior or any number of subtle actions or choice of words, no matter how advanced or civilized there will always be some assholes.

However, when some of these "offenders" were presented to us peacekeepers, we found them to be perfectly polite and reasonable. As our conversation continued and shifted topics, whenever there was a lull or the focus was on another speaker for a longer time, the Human's gaze drifted somewhat.

Sometimes she would look to the side and it was harder to tell what her exact expression was, but every so often she would be looking at one of us, but... not. It was as if she was staring at something behind us, through us even. Beyond the walls of the station, it even felt as though beyond space and time itself.

It was one of the most unnerving and chitin-chilling feelings we've ever felt, but then the Human seemed to notice our change and became that friendly and cheerful person once again:

"Sorry, my mind drifted there for a bit. What were you saying?"

And the conversation continued as if nothing was out of the ordinary for the Human.

Upon our return to our office, one of the Human peacekeepers heard about our impromptu assignment and offered this explanation after we told him what happened:

"Oh yeah, I think that person was a retired firefighter or rescue worker of some kind. Professions like that can be dangerous and you'll eventually encounter something horrible at a disaster site or crime scene. Probably saw someone die, or a person they rescued later didn't make it, or it was a kid... It's the toughest when you're the last one a child sees before..."

There it is again. That look, but with a tinge of sadness this time. We didn't know he was carrying such memories. The untimely death of anyone is a difficult time for those that survive, especially when it is the young whose life was still just starting. It seems Humans with their heightened senses and sensitivity to the feelings of others these kind of experiences imprint a far stronger memory than for most.

"Anyway, we've got a bunch of names for such things, but typically we call it the thousand yard stare. It's an old measurement unit, don't worry about it. I think the meaning may have changed a bit over the years, but basically some people go through traumatic stuff and they decide, consciously or not, to sort of... detach themselves from reality. It's a coping mechanism.

A few people thrive on horrible things, but they're the exception. Most of us would go crazy or depressed or any other infinite bad possibilities our brains can go in if we don't find a way to separate ourselves from certain realities. It can get real bad otherwise. It's rare, but a few go truly nuts and try to inflict their pain unto others. Most end up suffering alone for a long time. And some can't take it anymore and decide to end it themselves.

Thankfully therapists and support options are widely available, so those kind of scenarios are really rare, like... suicide accounts for about three out of a hundred thousand deaths last time I saw those charts. Plus drones and automation take care of most of the dangerous tasks, leaving the vast majority of cases to be caused by interpersonal relations actually. A broken heart is one of those traumas we'll never get rid of it seems. That's just life, I guess."

#humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humans are space australians #I don't know if these tags are actually appropriate for this one #it feels weird writing about depressing adjacent topics like that #one one hand #I don't feel good about it #on the other #I feel I have to put it into words or it'll leave a stain in my brain #sometimes words are more like a tumor #and the only way to get rid of it is to transfer them to a public space #carionto

[kesbeacon]

Corset is finished, pics tomorrow maybe. It doesn't fit quite right - it curves outwards at the top even though it's meant to be underbust, and I do Not have enough flesh to fill it. But it's surprisingly close, given that it was designed for people with a, uh, different body type to mine.

#i will make another i think but not for a while #bc i'd like to do it with actual proper materials and do it Right #but i have at least taught myself that i can do it and learned how they go together so it'll be easier next time #corset #corsetry #sewing #(what materials DID you use kes i hear you ask #well. the boning is cable ties. the lacing is my old boot laces. the structural layer is an elderly stained tablecloth.) #(all the fabric is secondhand as is the binding and most of the thread)

[johnmalevolent]

anyone knows how to wash this thing

#krispeaks #half of his body & clothes is made of different material its like. the surface of a painted sponge? idk how to describe it #i wanna wash it now but im scared it'll stain lol ........

[random-rabid-creature]

I'm leaving the internet for a WHILE, a drama that did not need to go this far is actually starting to make me paranoic

I'll see you someday, maybe i'll take a week, maybe i'll take a month, who knows, but hopefully i'll be back at some point, i'm just generally scared for my mental health and well being

Goodbye, asks will be turned off entirely in both my blogs

#H vents shit out. don't mind them #god help me. if any of you is seeing this. ya'll are so fucking mature for actually fucking name dropping. what is your problem #if it wasn't that i would actually cry if i tried saying all the shit i want to say to you all. i would #and boy i have some shit to say. assholes #i hope ya'll are fucking happy. i hope one day you'll look back a this and realize how fucking horrible you were #someday it'll get to you. and i hope you cringe to the point of incapasitation when you do #none of you matter to me. rn i do care bc i'm terrafied of my wellbeing. but when this is over #all of you will be nothing but a faint shit stain in my brain. and none of you will cross my mind positivly ever again #i hope you guys learn the gift of blocking and moving on from now on. instead of dragging everyone across the dirt like this

[problemswithbooks]

I’m just annoyed by AFO, one of the worst characters and he’s the Big Bad. His main body should’ve died against Endeavor so we wouldn’t have to waste so much time with him.

I agree that Hori really didn't need to drag out OG AfO's death. I think he wanted to give All Might and Bakugou a Heroic Moment/Win but it came at the coast of pacing and AfO feeling really redundant. I mean I love All Might and I do think he needed a little bit of a moment before the end of the story but depending on how the story ends it could have possibly been left to his vestige+emotionally helping Izuku.

As for Bakugou getting his moment, again depending on how things go, could have been left for after Shigaraki gets fully possessed, with him teaming up with Izuku.

Because we're still not done with the story I can't say for sure, but I'm a little annoyed that OG AfO wasn't killed by Enji+Dabi. At the moment it seems like if/when Hori redemes the core LoV it will be last minute in a friendship is magic/breaking Shigaraki out of AfO's mind control thing. I'm not a huge fan of that and do wish that Dabi would have helped bring down AfO with Enji and Shoto. He still could have been cheering Shigaraki on from the sidelines to help bring him back, but it would have been the first step in showing he was starting to choose something for the greater good over killing his family for revenge.

It also would have given Enji, Shoto, Hawks and the other UA students that fought him more of a win, while also fitting in with the todofam subplot.

#bnha manga spoilers #bnha #mha #endeavor #enji todoroki #AfO #it just sucks cuz it is a huge drag on the pacing #and so few characters feel like they genuinely helped bring him down #which I think was supposed to be the point #like that defeating him was a team effort #and perhaps animated or read all at once it'll feel more like that #but it really did sort of end up seeming like the Bakugou and All Might show #while also undermining them and everyone else when he comes back 10 chaps later #like idk it feels pointless in that way #which is not how you want a climatic moment to feel #and it makes Hawks loosing his Quirk and Stain's death even more pointless #and Stains death/him even being involved was pretty pointless #and he was my fav character #but he just did not do enough important stuff to be brought back after his first appearance #as a character and what he was supposed to accomplish was just not at all utilized well #like I think he was supposed to be an emotional support for All Might but he was to crazy and had so few moments with him #that he's just useless

[greentrapped]

The Tesla Cybertruck feels like brutalist architecture on the obnoxious huge pickup truck form, without any of the things that make brutalism appealing.

#with a few days on the road it'll have stains too #just like concrete

[sooouth]

mm no words for chap 385. just. hawks rlly is a punching bag.

#meow.// #like??? #bnha 385 #bnha spoilers #(will do WONDERS for his character tho ty horikoshi) #(also please where did zawa mic and kurogiri go i am sobbing i need to see that interaction) #(also x2 todo stain and iida??? hell yes i am ready for that-) #(back to hawks tho this will be interesting for the future. but i think it'll be good for him if he does not get fierce wings backs) #(still feel bad tho... tokoyami too like nooo why you bullying the birbs..) #(don't mind me)

[chaoticbooklesbian]

My hair smells like toothpaste

#pedanticblah #context: my first hanukkah present was color depositing deep conditioner #to make my hair red again while there's still bleached hair to make red #the deep conditioner is fragranced with spearmint and rosemary #but really just smells like spearmint #aka toothpaste smell #and i took a shower this morning #and used the deep conditioner #which has to sit for fifteen minutes #meaning that both the pigment and the fragrance absorb deep into my hair #hence: my hair smells like toothpaste #also: hello new followers who are here from my blazed headless post! #this is how i usually behave #also also my nails are kind of stained red #it'll go away over the course of the day #as i wash my hands and do dishes and stuff

[starstruckpurpledragon]

So what I thought was just a thick patch of dust on my dresser that I'd somehow missed cleaning it off the other week was actually... scuff marks from the guy's moving it out of their way and then back while doing the baseboards.

Pretty bad scuff marks too.

I've rubbed in the repair stain that worked so nicely on my floors and it looks fine now though I'll know for sure if the stain took in the morning when it's dried, since i had to use filler on a couple of small (but deep) scratches on the top that were made from use over time - those wouldn't take the stain but the filler did. These weren't deep, however, so I'm not worried. And, since it was at the bottom of the dresser, I buffed a few more scratches on the floor that I noticed while I had the stained rag out.

i really need to just go through and mop all the floors now to get the settling dust off them. But I swear every time I go into the guest room there's a wasp in there still. Today, go in there, wasp. I lured it into the guest bathroom by accident (I was aiming for the hallway light, but the bathroom lights were apparently more attractive). Anyway. Guess I'll be saving that room for last.

#the repair stain is the old english scratch repair - dark stain #usually does the job just fine #though i do have a different brand same purpose that i got when my adhd brain misplaced the old english #(it was in a perfectly logical spot that made total sense) #the perils of home reno #the wasp invasion #I swear the closet is cursed #i found another spot that needed filler in the wood floors so i used my dark wood filler on it - looks great now #but like... the majority of the places where the boards don't match up well are in there #the wall had to be redone three times #the floors and dresser got scuffed up in there while the baseboards were being done #at least when they come back tomorrow it'll be to fix the screw up in the bathroom and not the closet #gonna have to put my rosary in there and say a few prayers ask some saints to chase out bad spirits for me

[swagging-back-to]

also btw i left the stain on wihout wiping because i didnt read the instructions all the way and now the top section of the altar is tacky and i need to restain it or get mineral spirits. hopefully my roommate has mineral spirits already so i dont have to buy it.

#i dont want to do another coat on the top because i like the color and i dont want to wait another day before sealing it #id leave it unsealed but apparently if it's scratched off it'll release LEAD DUST. #yall i had no idea stain was this deadly #im putting it on the floor so i dont want my dog or cat to go over and inhale the dust #and also i dont want to inhale the dust #also apparently i cant have incense burning in my own room cause of the vocs by staining #mannnn #im scared to smoke in my room now too so im gonna have to do it in the kitchen tor the next day or two #and im actually gonna leave the altar outside to dry for at least 2 days just to get immediate vocs off

[mrsducky]

thinking very much about painting my new room......

#the entire room is just cream and beige. which isn't bad. but also super boring #I kinda want to paint the walls hunter green instead 👀 #and stain the wardrobe mahogany to match my new desk #the room is carpeted though and tearing it out sounds like a hassle #but the edges do lift enough that I might be able to wrap & tape plastic over them #I've never done anything like this before and it'll be pricey #but the more I think about it the more I really want to do it lol #the room is small too so it wouldn't be THAT much work....hmmmMMM

[tekatonic]

ABOUT YOUR REBLOG!!! GO GO GO USE WATERCOLORS AND JUST GO CRAZY /GEN

I'm genuinely not experienced at all with watercolors, other than using them a bit back when I was 13 and just sometimes watching people draw with them so!!!! YOU CAN DO ITTTT TOOOOOO

!!!

i have some and i can use them, i barely have any technique tho because i've been using them so sparingly for years

it's very very impressive that you can achieve looks like these with barely any experience ! i think achieving the vision is so much more important than the amount of skill that goes into it but sometimes it's so hard to do that without the skill !

i can do it too i'm sure, but it's just really overwhelming and the supplies don't want to agree with my brain u-u i'll get it eventually

#i really wanna get loose with my watercolor #being a perfectionist however #hard to get rid of the habits #i'm running out of red on my little travelling palette... hm. #i bought a new color i think two years ago to replace the white pan #and like it's such a good color but it's staining and it stained my palette and my water brushes which is oof #i'll still use it tho #the laziness does still play a factor in this #i just don't wanna learn but i should #teka answers #thank you so much for the ask #i think i am starved for interaction on tumblr #but then again that'll happen when i barely post any original things ever #hm #it'll happen eventually #i'll get out of this funk

[tasmanianstripes]

Amazing how it took the developers of Poppy Playtime two whole chapters to finally make a bare minimum of a functional game

#like yeah its leagues above the previous chapters but thats because the previous chapters were a hittily put together sloppy buggy mess that #shouldnt have been released in the way that they are right now. Chapter 3 is what chapter 1 should have been like #and yeah it's still a cashgrab at heart. its so distateful that they already made merch for chapter 3 that you could buy BEFORE it even #released. theyre 100% money driven. but at least if chapter 4 improves even more on what was in chapter 3 i think it can be a decent game #i dont think it can ever be a GOOD game because of what a disaster of two first chapters it has. not unless they completely rework them. and #with its story reaching its end slowly i doubt there even is time to make it a good game even if the last chapters are amazing in quality. #even if the last chapters are GREAT (which i doubt) it will never be anything else than a highly mixed medicore at best game. because it'll #always have this shitty developer studios' greed and the shitshow that were the first 2 chapters weighing it down #honestly. if chapter 3 or something akin to it was the first thing that was released of this game i would have actually liked it. yeah it #wouldnt be GREAT but it'd be decent and enjoyable. but instead it has its garbage first chapters staining what it could have been. it's #insane that I even have to praise a developer studio for delivering a BARE MINIMUM of a game. what the fuck is this. what happened to the #state of games. its shameful that releasing a barely functional nothing burger and charging for it became acceptable in any way #that aside even chapter 3 could improve in many areas. it feels more like a puzzle game with horror elements rather than a horror game with #puzzle elements. every time you get to a puzzle the game just halts to a complete stop. all the suspence they could have gotten just #completely dies on the spot. ive played and watched many horror games with puzzles in them and i like them a lot but this is just not how #you do that. it feels like youre walking from puzzle to a puzzle and all the interesting things that happen with actual substance happen in #between puzzles but instead of focusing on that it feels like the game focuses on the puzzles. it should be the other way around damn it #but i think if chapter 4 keeps the overall quality of chapter 3 and ups the scares while dailing down the puzzles or incorporating them #better into the atmosphere and story it might actually be a good horror game. well that chapter at least. #also ik the monster designs are very...mascot horror and analogue horror cliches but i actually enjoy them. Mummy Longlegs was medicore and #forgetful like the rest of her chapter and her only saving grace was her death scene. Huggy Wuggy's (god what a name) design and animations #and chase sequence were the only good thing of chapter 1 so i think if it was put into something of much better quality then it could #actually hold up. And I really like CatNap's design for some reason. The way he moves is creepy and yeah the face design is goofy as hell #but i can forgive it. i like that the fumes he releases makes you see him as a far creepier monster than he is that took me by surprise. #Also his death scene FUCKED severely by far the best scene in the entire game imo. Also I actually enjoyed his story? i cant believe im #saying this but chapter 3 and analogue horror videos actually got me interested in this game's story and where it will go. Insane. #and speaking of the analogue horror videos they made are good. WAY too good. I dont trust like that. They for sure hired somebody to make #them for them theres no way in hell they didnt. But yeah thats my opinion on this series. Over all not a good game and a complete cash grab #dont buy it there are way better games out there even in the mascot horror genere. But the quality did go up and it gets me hopeful #anyway my impromtu poopy playtime review's over

[terriblebicho]

Fuck it I don't want to take that piece of shit Sertraline anymore. Literally every single adverse effect the psychiatrist swore to me was not going to happen happened. It's actually kind of funny.

#''it'll help u sleep :)'' *sleeps only 5 hours and wakes up bruxing* #''it does nothing to concentration or productivity :)'' *can't study and feels sleepy all the time* #Also. Excessive sweating. In summer. Like actually go to hell. #he also said its ok to have alcohol once in a while but w the luck Ive been having I feel like that might straight-up kill me #It feels like having every debuff. depressed and run-around-in-circles-anxious at the exact same time. #Though. As much as I hate to admit it. it does help with the rumination. I don't feel like an ugly stain in the world for existing anymore. #And the one period I had while on it was actually less apocalyptically shitty than usual. #so thats pretty based. Everything else though sucks. #mental health #(im just venting I'm not going to quit taking psychiatric medication cold-turkey lol)

[prosciuttulipa]

Cream, please!

aka JJK men being down bad with their cum

content: LOTS OF CUMPLAY, smut, creampie and eating it out (Gojo), slight somnophilia and cum marking (Geto), breeding and plugs (Nanami), cumming into panties and making you wear said panties (Toji)

a/n: I apologise for my depravity, it will happen again

Gojo Satoru who will vehemently insist on creampieing you at every given opportunity, just so he can eat out his cum from your soaking wet pussy. He likes to think it's a dessert, after all his hard work of fucking you silly. He'll drag you by your shaking legs so that you're sitting on his face, his nose bumping up against your overstimulated clit as he slurps greedily at your cunt. If he's feeling extra salacious, he'll have you hover over his face, watching his cum drip out of your pussy and onto his waiting tongue.

Geto Suguru who will wake you up with soft murmurs and his cock over your abdomen, climaxing when your pretty eyes finally flutter open. He coats your tits and stomach, whispering to you that you make such a pretty canvas for his cum. You're not allowed to wash it off, not allowed to even touch it. He'll dress you up for work as his seed dries beneath your clothes, sending you off with a kiss and a pleased smirk, his little secret under your proper appearance. When you get back home, he makes you strip, so he can check that his cum marks are still there.

Nanami Kento who makes it a point to plug you up with a toy every time he finishes in you. He won't keep it in for too long if you two haven't talked about having children yet, but if you have, he makes you wear it almost around the clock. He'll pump his load into you and stuff you with the toy, till you're basically his glorified cum dumpster; he loves how you go on with your day without a second thought once he's done, like he hasn't just cum deep into your cervix. He rubs your tummy, distended slightly with the amount of cum he's given you, and prays that it'll take, that you'll be with child.

Toji Fushiguro who cums into your panties so you remember who you belong to. He'll jerk himself off with the underwear you'll be wearing for the day, and when he's coated the inside of it with his thick load, he'll make you stand in front of him so he can put it on you. He thinks it's cute, the way you step into the soaking panties, shivering when you feel his cum meet your pussy. He'll snap the crotch against your cunt, just to hear the wet squelch. He makes sure to give you refills throughout the day, pulling you into bathrooms and fisting himself, shooting his cum down the front of your panties, watching them stain white.

#jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk gojo #jjk geto #jjk nanami #jjk toji #gojo smut #geto smut #nanami smut #toji smut #gojo x reader #geto x reader #nanami x reader #toji x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #nanami kento #toji fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #my content #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #nanami kento x reader #toji fushigro x reader #—prosciuttulipa content.

[luveline]

𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝? | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧

Your best friend Eddie tries to explain what a hickey feels like and finds he doesn't have the words. He could show you, though, if you want? [3k] 

fem!reader, shy!reader, implied inexpereinced!reader, friends-to-lovers, pining, mdni heavy petting, hickeys, lots of hickeys, marking up, neck kissing, shoulder kissing, heat of the moment confessions, eddie being flirty but also a good friend, requested here

𓆩❤︎𓆪

Eddie strokes down the length of his guitar neck almost tenderly. You're focused on his hands rather than his mouth as he recounts last night's date to you, distracted by the deft movement of his fingers, which aren't exactly small. It's an oxymoron —paradoxical, even— that his thick fingers would move with such gentle precision. 

You shift around where you're sitting on his bedroom floor, criss-cross applesauce with an uncomfortable heat rising from the bottomless pit of your stomach to your tight collar. The white button up you'd worn under your sweater vest is a size too small. You're really starting to notice. 

You peel out of the vest and hope it'll help you calm down.

"She wasn't exactly sweet," Eddie says, plucking a string, listening to the sound, and tuning it this way or that depending on how he liked it. "I think she wanted to get it over with, which isn't really my thing. She was in my lap before I could make it clear I wasn't interested in anything quick." 

You lift your gaze from his hands. He must feel you watching his face. He looks up in tandem and smiles reassuringly. "It's fine. I kind of thought she was getting into it, she was like a vampire on me at one point, but I wasn't feeling it and it's clear she wasn't either. Drove her home. How was your night, d'you watch that tape?" 

You trace the coil of a black curl down to his shoulder, and can't force yourself to meet his eyes as you ask, "A vampire?" 

"What?" 

"She was like a vampire at one point, you said." Eddie's arm goes still. "What did you mean by that?" you ask.

He puts his guitar down on the floor. You worry you've said something truly dull for him to place his sweetheart in such a rush, but Eddie's like that. He can tell you're embarrassed no doubt, and he's giving you the answer to your question as swiftly as he can to soothe the wound. 

"Here, look," he says. He pushes his hair away from his neck on one side and tilts his head, bearing a wine-stained curve of skin to you unabashedly. "She kissed me. She gave me a hickey, used a lot of teeth. That's why it's bruised so much on the edges." 

Warmth you've never felt rushes in, like your blood has superheated, and it's written on your face. Eddie's room feels suddenly a thousand times smaller than before and more intimate, his poster wallpaper curving in, the space between you inching closer. 

"Sorry," he says, "I know it's kind of weird to show you." 

"No, I'm sorry," you say, mortified. "I shouldn't have asked you." 

"Yeah, you should. You didn't get it and now you do. I don't mind telling you." 

Eddie lets his hair fall back against his neck, a kinky curtain that looks ridiculously soft in the orangey light of his lamp. There's a butter smoothness to it, and the way he moves as he does is worse, his hand open and reaching for you. He doesn't hold your hand, doesn't even try, just lets his upturned palm hang off the edge of his knee as if to say, Ask me whatever it is you want to ask me. It's cool. 

"Why would she do that?" you ask, gesturing to your neck.

"It's not her fault, I was flirting with her a ton trying to make it work."

"Not like that." 

Eddie's hand turns toward his knee. "Like what?" 

Your hand drifts to your own neck absentmindedly. You get kissing, wanting to be kissed and wanting to give them. You understand why she kissed his neck; if you'd been in her position, alone in the car with Eddie laying his charm on thick, you might climb the console and push aside his hair too. 

"I know why she kissed you. I don't see why she…" You rub your lips together, your embarrassment turning sharp. You hate how humiliating this feels. "I know what a hickey is, Eds, but why would you want one?" 

His turn to fluster. The tiniest tinge of pink paints his cheeks. "Are you asking me why I enjoyed it?" 

"Did you?" 

You despise yourself, truly. Worse when Eddie laughs, his chest forward, hair falling in his face as he chuckles sincerely. 

"Yeah," he says, smiling at you "I liked it. Before she started trying to kill me I was having a good time." 

He doesn't put you through the agony of asking what you both know he wants to. 

You've never had one?

"It feels warm, and it's– you know how being kissed gives you butterflies, right? It's better than that. It's hot, and all her weight is on you and you have your hand on her back trying to pull her in, and she's as close as she can be without, you know." Something flickers across Eddie's face. Not longing, but a remembered pleasure. It makes you squirm. 

"I don't see how it doesn't just hurt." 

The hand that hadn't been reaching for you holds a pick. He flashes it between his fingers, a party trick, a nervous tic, his eyelashes tangling together as his eyelids inch closed. He scrunches his face up for a second. 

"Don't hate me if I ask you something weird," Eddie says, eyes shut tight. 

You don't think you could. You watch Eddie's face, knowing he can't see your analysis, and feel a shock of pins and needles in your hands when his eyes open and immediately lock on to yours. 

"Do you want me to give you one?" he asks. 

Your lips feel like they've been glued shut. You're aware of your breathing, how shallow each inhale has become, but you can't do anything about it. 

He has the decency to acknowledge what position his question puts you in, "I know it might be weird but I can't describe it to you if you don't know what it feels like." 

You surprise him. You surprise yourself. "Uh, yeah. Okay." 

"Yeah?" 

"It doesn't hurt?" 

"Not unless you want it to." A hint of a smirk plays on his lips, though it fades quickly. "It doesn't hurt. That's not the point. But it can feel… foreign." 

You nod jerkily, wishing you knew what to do. 

The atmosphere is thick enough to cut through. Neither of you like it. Eddie gives you another type of smile, a familiar one that says, I'm your best friend, I always will be, so please chill out. 

"You're gonna have to sit in my lap." 

You actually laugh. "Eddie," you chastise, thinking it's a bad joke. 

"Sorry, sweetheart, but it's that or the bed." His teasing tone is light, but he still adds, "I mean, we can do it sitting next to each other but it's difficult. Whatever you want, though." 

You climb up on your knees. You're shy, absolutely, you always will be and especially when Eddie's teasing, but he really is your best friend, and the bed isn't happening.

He doesn't scare you. 

He grins and ushers you toward him. "Alright, come here." He tugs one of your thighs over his lap and your breath catches. He grabs the other and any laughter between you abruptly dies. 

You settle over his lap with an expression not far from pained. Eddie's hands rest against your thigh and your hip. He has to look up at you now, and he does as he encourages your weight firmly downward. You're more than conscious of where you're positioned. 

"Do me a favour?" he asks. 

"Yeah." You put your hand on his chest tentatively. 

"Don't suffer through it if you hate it, okay? All you have to do is say something and I'll stop, but if you feel like you can't, a good right hook would work too." 

"I'm not gonna hurt you," you protest. 

"Me neither," he says. His hand lifts from your thigh to your neck, and he brushes his fingertips down the curve of it ineffectually. It would feel good if you weren't choking on air. "Relax, sweetheart. Please." 

"I'm really warm." 

"Your shirt's too tight anyway," he says, hand at your collar. He thumbs open your top button, a second, and exposes the flat of your chest. His fingers slide across your neck as he folds back your starched collar. They're cool compared to the raging heat he finds there. 

You take a deep breath. 

"You could put your hands in my hair," he says. Wishful thinking has hope colouring his tone. 

You put your hands on his shoulders. The very tips of your fingers partition his curls. 

He raises an arm above your mess of limbs to weave a hand behind your ear. It's then that you feel his callouses, so rough against the delicate skin of your scalp. Despite their texture, you find it feels good. He tucks his hand in tight, and slowly, slowly turns your head to the side. 

"Look up," he murmurs. 

You lift your head and stare at the ceiling with widened eyes. 

He can't know but he does, and he says, "Close your eyes." The heat of his breath kisses your neck.  

You shiver at the suggestion of his lips, and again when they press to your skin. Close-lipped, Eddie kisses the skin just under your ear where on the opposite side of your head his thumb strokes quarter circles. You're quickly overwhelmed by the duelling sensations. You don't notice his lips have parted until he's kissing a sloven path downward, his spit cooling in wake. 

This isn't a hickey, this is straight up kissing, and you don't know what to do with how you feel. You hide your hands in his hair. 

It tugs him forward. He reads your hands for enthusiasm, and if it is or isn't he pulls you closer still and opens his mouth against your skin. His teeth are impossible to ignore. 

Your hand works further into his hair, getting caught in a tangle as he sucks your skin between his lips. His lazy mouthing turns insistent but still gentle, his teeth scratching ever so slightly at your pulse as it capers beneath his ministrations. You gasp at the warmth blossoming under your ribs. You cup the back of his neck a touch too tight. 

He doesn't stop kissing you, only grabs your wrist to stop you from choking him out. You make a sound you've never made with him before, a mewl, all breathless and teary as the sensation worsens. Which is to say, betters. 

He breaks a particularly rough kiss to suck in breath, his nose sliding up the curve of your neck as he leans back. "You okay?" he murmurs, half-lidded eyes locking onto your flushed face. 

"Why does it feel like that?" you ask. 

He drops his head, his nose level with your chin. "I don't know," he says, punctuating with a kiss right there, the closest bit of skin he can find. "Want me to do it again?" 

You swallow and he must see it. He says nothing, wrapping his arms around your waist as he waits for you to respond. Your stomach pushes into his, your arms braced on his shoulder so you don't collapse into his front, limp with touch. 

"Sweetheart, can I do it again?" he asks.

"Yeah," you say, quiet but enthusiastic. "Please." 

He's slower this time. Eddie leans into your neck and doesn't kiss you at first, his lips so close to your skin that you can feel their phantom. You skin tingles from his previous scandalising, and it doesn't beg, skin can't beg, but you can, you curl your arm behind his neck and hook his head there, crushing his hair to the crook of your arm. He doesn't take much convincing beyond that. His lips smush against your neck and you feel every millimetre as they part, heat and warmth and wet spreading like budding flowers come to bloom. You melt into him soon after, and Eddie takes your weight in stride, hand at the small of your back and pulling you in so hard you can feel his ribs. 

When you think you're used to it —not used to it, but expecting what can be expected— Eddie nips you. Tiny dainty kisses broken up with a nibbling you'd couldn't describe as anything but playful. He laughs at your gasping and does it again, again, giddy hot laughter mixed with one of the strangest feelings you've ever been subjected to. You're molten. You're dizzy with it.

Eddie pulls back enough to ask, "I'm gonna undo another button, okay? Just one. Is that alright?" 

"What for?" 

"So I can kiss your shoulder. Just your shoulder." He sounds pleading, desperately excited in a way you've never heard him and you want to know what it'll feel like, so you let him. 

This next button unveils the top of your bra and the soft hills of your breasts. He doesn't look, barely glances at his hand as he tugs your shirts down your arm, diving into the juncture of your neck like he needs it to breathe. His kisses are proper compared to some of the stuff he's been doing, but then he opens his mouth and the flat of his tongue wets your skin as he kisses kisses kisses down your shoulder. His hand is somewhere under your shirt, fingers slipped under your bra strap and pulling teasingly at the elastic as he eases you down in his arms. You're shorter than him where you'd started taller, totally compressed in his arms and at his mercy.

When he pulls back, the slimmest ribbon of spit shines between your shoulder and his lips. He wipes his face with the back of his hand, his eyes glassy, and that hand cups your face. He pretty much grabs you, but there's not a lick of cruelty in his touch. Eddie's rough. Never cruel. 

"You're on fire," he says. It's objective rather than joking. "You're so hot. Do you want to stop?" 

"Not– not unless you want to," you say, trying to quieten your breathing. You sound like you've run a marathon. It feels like it. 

"I'm gonna give you a real one, cool?" 

"I didn't know they weren't real." 

"Oh, sweetheart," he says, and his eyes are damning, a loving pity in the black of his blown pupils, "I was just warming you up." 

Your mind blanks. 

"Make sure I can hide it," you say. 

You aren't thinking straight, concerned about hiding his hickeys but not what this means for the two of you. His unexpected hunger, and your willingness to let him eat you whole. 

"I don't think you can hide it anymore," he says, stroking your cheek with his thumb. 

You look down at his lips. They're rosy, swollen from the pressure.

He sees you looking. 

He yanks you in by the waist and sizes you up, almost, like he's calling your bluff, not spiteful but something mean about him as he stares at your mouth in return. 

Like he doesn't want you to make the mistake. Like he knows you won't. 

His hand tips your chin up high and he ducks his own down. An inch and you'd be kissing. That's all it would take.

"Is that really what you want?" he asks.

"I don't know," you say. Is it what he wants?

It has to be. 

"Have you wanted to, before?" He draws a line down your cheek with his marriage finger. Fast as a heavy tear. "You want me to kiss you?" 

"Yeah," you whisper, trying to make sense of this, your sudden confession, a secret want pushed into the light. 

Eddie turns his hand and strokes down your cheek with the back of it, pushing any dampened baby hairs away from your skin. His gaze softens. 

"Was that so hard?" he asks. 

"You knew?"

He kisses you. He's smiling, and he doesn't take just one. He must kiss you four or five times, your lips parted enough to know he could push it further if he wanted, but he doesn't. These kisses are unhurried, missing the ravenous passion of his hickeying but not the fondness. 

"You don't know how hard it is," he says after he's broken away, his forehead tipped against yours, "how hard it is to have someone look at you like you look at me everyday, like I'm something you can't have." 

"I didn't know–" you knew. You felt the same. His kissing is evidence alone. it's confessional.

"I know. Guess I thought nothing good would come of it, but– but I don't want good. I want you." 

He pulls back quickly, like you've said something confessional rather than him. He surprised himself. 

"I'm not good?" you ask. 

"You're good. You'll ruin me, that's all." 

You don't have time to ask him what he means by that. He kisses you again, kisses your cheek, draws a line of crescent moons down along your neck to the mess he's made of you. He kisses– he sucks your neck so hard, so sudden, that goosebumps erupt and you can't stop yourself from saying, "Ohh," as you cling to his shoulders. 

This is the vampire thing he'd talked about, the points of his teeth stark against your skin even now. There's another layer of vulnerability unveiled here, knowing that he could really hurt you and knowing he never would. He kisses you until you're overwhelmed by him. Heat everywhere. Sweat shining on your skin. You don't want anything else but this.

You squeak as the pressure turns from pleasurable to too much. Eddie hears the pain in it and pulls away, instantly sorry and willing to prove it, his hands cradling your face. 

You pant. He shushes you gently.

"Sorry, baby." He pets your cheeks. 

Your head falls back, too heavy on your sore neck. You feel wiped. 

Wiped, but good. Lax. 

"That was nice," you say breathlessly. 

Eddie sits up and drags you with him, hand behind your neck to prop you up. He's laughing again, his awful sweet laugh that you've heard a thousand times before. It never fails to make you smile. 

"You're like a dead fish." 

You cover an eye with your hand. "I take it the romance is over." 

"You thought that was romantic? Babe, I'm only getting started." 

Eddie gives you a quick peck. Where his hickey had felt like the heart of a star growing hotter with each passing second, his smaller kiss feels like the sun through blinds, a dappling of warmth. 

"Are you messing with me?" you ask.

He pushes his arms over your shoulders for a hug. 

"No. Not messing with you." His nose rubs against the shell of your ear. "It's about time we talked." 

You let your hand drift down the dip of his back.

"Okay," you mumble. Talking. You need to talk about whatever it is that just happened. 

"...Maybe I'll get you a glass of water first," he adds.

"That's a good idea." 

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Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please consider letting me know/reblogging, it means the world to me and makes a big difference!! ♡ NOTE: Eddie def pines back if that isn't fully clear, I tried to imply it with his date where he could've hooked up with someone but didn't go through with it, it was cos he's too in lurve

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