#it's that friendships are not capable of handling POTENTIAL

[serenequeenofeverything]

What your teams of lights wants you to know? A self tarot reading.

Group i, ii, iiii, iv

But before we move on onto the reading, i want you to understand what teams of light is.

Now I won't go into details, but if you want a separate post on this, let me know in the replies. I would be more than happy to teach you more.

This is a direct quote from Laura lynne Jackson, the author of "signs: the secret language of the universe" :

" We all have a Team of Light on the Other Side. These teams send us signs.

These signs come from three distinct forces:

1. We receive signs from God energy, which is what I mean when I say signs from the universe. This is the highest and most powerful source of love, and we are each directly connected to it, and also to one another through it.

2. We receive signs from our spirit guides / the angelic realm.

3. We receive signs from our loved ones who have crossed."

Now here is the thing, you don't need me to deliver these messages to you. You receive them yourself everyday, but you might simply dismiss it. Im here to tell you what you already probably know but also probably choose to ignore or not pay much attention to.

Now shall we begin?

Just breath in and out. Let's begin.

Group i

You are not stuck as u like to think. You know your way out of this thing (a good majority of you already made it out of this situation) tbh i mostly see a relationship but it could also totally be something related to finances and just money in general.

Here is what you need to hear tho, whoever and whatever this situation was, you will do so much better without them. You are more than capable of handling this alone. And ur teams of light are more than willing to help you, to make this easier for you. So ask for help, but within not from the outside. U have so much within urself that the world outside is nothing but a failed attempt to reflect what you already have.

This song came in so strong, listen to it.

Group ii

Very similar message to group i, kinda the same theme but while theirs revolved around trusting the self, and working through their situation alone, yours is more about collaborating with others to solve this. Now i know this may have failed for you before, but this time try differently, maybe with a different person (s).

Ur luck is about to be better but here's what i (and you teams of light) need you to do, 1. Have stronger boundaries 2. Dont get emotionally attached to these people (person) this is business, not friendship. 3. Just this time try, i promise it will go better.

Group iii

Honestly this is the group that i feel most horrible for. This group seems to be going through a lot financially speaking, some of you might even be on the verge of going homeless. Listen up my babe, you know your situation better than i do, u actually know way too well that bad your situation is or can potentially become, and it's stressing you out beyond measures.

Your teams of light is clearly saying "go there" "go back", it's something about relying on another person or maybe even the government, maybe a shelter or a father figure (I definitely see a dad) to help you in this. This is the best thing to do. Trust me, this time reach out for your own sake and safety.

Group iv

Wow and here I thought only group iii situation was bad. um.. so do u struggle with some sort of addiction? Or do you feel like you are in a home or a situation that's crumbling to the group but u r stuck and you cannot get out? If that's not you then this is not your group(altho i still suggest u read the advice section in case it might somehow be exactly what u need to hear).

Okay, if you know this is your group, then let me tell you that there's a way out. Something will come up, idk what it is but it will be big. Most probably a guy will come in, they will offer you something, an idea maybe? (Altho be fucking careful, this whole situation is very effy). I genuinely dont know what's happening... like legit this group confuses the fuck out of me, so idk if u should take this offer... dont get desperate and i know u r desperate but it's almost like the cards are telling me to tell you to not trust this person but to use their idea. Almost like listen to their advice and take their advice but not with them in the plan..

Im gonna give u an example so u understand; you live in an abusive household, and u wanna escape it. But u cannot find the way out, then boom this guy comes in and is like I'll help you but long term if u go with them u will end up in a very bad situation. But here's another way to do it, this person tells u how they will help you, like their plan to get u out, what i need u to do is do as their plan minus them( the guy).

Hopefully this makes sense, english is my third language so i find it hard to tell u exactly how it is.

-----------------------------------------------

Anyways, this is it. I hope this helps you.

Also follow me bc... im too good.

And also u can totally suggest what my next reading should be on by simply replying to this post (altho i dont take personal readings right now)

#pac reading #pick a card #pick a pile #free tarot reading #tarot cards #daily tarot #love reading

[sushis-brainrot]

I loved Mirage, but part of me can't stop thinking about what we might have gotten if it had remained a DLC for Valhalla. OR if a DLC for Valhalla followed it.

I imagine when Hytham was called back to Alamut to report on Basim, he asked the one person who knows exactly what happened to his mentor to join him. Eivor - his friend.

Eivor, of course, accepts. She'll do anything Hytham asks.

They go, together, to Alamut.

While the two get tangled up in the politics of the Hidden Ones and solve whatever intrigue or mystery awaits them in the Arab world, they could have a chance to work together, side by side. While Hytham might be limited by his injuries, he's still a capable assassin, scholar, and warrior. I believe Eivor wholeheartedly respects his capabilities. She might even have to lean on him, let him take charge. It's a strange feeling, but not unwelcome. It might be nice for her to have someone to truly rely on, for once.

Imagine them getting a chance to walk in Basim's footsteps. Visiting the House of Wisdom in Baghdad, that Basim was so fond of. Seeing the great Mosque of Samarra, wondering what man his father was. Hytham would get a chance to handle his grief. Eivor might mourn the loss of a friend with him.

Imagine if Eivor could learn who Basim was. If she finally learnt of Loki. Would she forgive Basim his momentary lapse of madness? Would she understand it, knowing what Odin had done to Loki and Fenrir? This knowledge, would she share it with Hytham? Would he think her mad?

The friendship - or relationship - between Eivor and Hytham that could evolve, their connection deepen. What if this, these events, could be what made Eivor accept Hytham's offer to join the Hidden Ones? What if she, in part, inspired the changes Hytham would implement in the organisation?

It just frustrates me how much potential was lost here...

It frustrates me that they cut Eivor's journey short - and poorly, at that.

I just want to see more Hytham qwq

And I want Eivor and Hytham going to Alamut together. qwq

#ac #ac valhalla #ac mirage #eivor #basim #hytham #eivor x hytham #thought #my thoughts #lost potential #just gimme more #ac mirage spoilers #ac valhalla spoilers

[after-hours-art]

Coffee pot (pt. 1)

Paring: Kyoya Ootori x fem!reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: cursing

The air was finally smelling like spring when the exam season began. For you, it meant hours spent in the library studying  in order to satisfy your demanding grandmother. Something you thought you would be never capable of doing, because not matter how hard you studied, how many trophies in sports you won or in how many colleges you got already accepted in, your father's mother always wanted something more from you, something you never were able to figure out.

You sighted after declining another offer of hanging out after school. Girls in your class weren't about to give up with that. But you knew better. It wasn't about friendship, but about business your family owned, and all they were doing was creating contacts. But it's not like they all in this school weren't doing the same. After all, Ouran High School was built for rich kids, from rich families that were tied together one way or another.

You walked down the hall, searching for the quiet place to work. Library would be your go-to, but you weren't in the mood to hang around with other students.

You stopped in front of one of the countless doors or the second floor and pushed the handle.

- Welcome to-

- Oh, so it's a club room. Sorry - not waiting for the blond boy to end his sentence, you prepared to take a step back and continue the peaceful place hunt.

- WAIT! - the blonde boy shouted after you while two, you could swear identical boys, stepped in your way.

- Sorry for the interruption. I just thought the room was empty, that's all. - you tried to defend yourself.

- It's okay! You can stay here! - another blonde boy with the stuffed rabbit in hands showed you the cutest smile in the world.

- Listen, I don't know what kind of club is going on in here, but what I know is that-

- The exams are coming - a gentle voice sounded from behind the taller blonde.

- Exactly, and I need a place to study. So if you'd be that nice and - you looked at the twins, wordlessly asking them to move out of your way.

- She's really resistant to you, Tamaki-kun. - one of the twins giggles as he stepped to the side. The taller blonde, apparently Tamaki, pouted.

- Don't be so sad. You'll have a bunch of girls in just ten minutes. - the stoic voice sounded again, this time also showing its owner, relatively tall blackhaired boy with glasses. You shot one last glance at the group and left the room.

- Well that was interesting - you mumbled to yourself.

- I agree, our club is indeed interesting.

You jumped in place, hearing the voice behind you back. You turned around to identify who was it.

- Oh, I didn't mean to scare you. - the boy with glasses slightly lifted corners of his lips.

- Well, you did. Are you here to convince me to come back there, because before you ask, the answer is no, there's that German exam coming up and I'm so behind my study plan. - you couldn't stop the logorrhea. It was probably the first time in months you spoke to another human being about what was on your mind. The glasses boy measured you with his eyes.

- I might have an offer for you.

- An offer? - you raised your brows. Offers were nothing new in this school either.

- I can provide you with a peaceful place to study and potentially help you since German seems to be important to you.

- What you'll have out of it?

- You can help me with managing my club.

- So you want me to join a club? I don't have time for that! - your grip on your books tightened. You were behind the schedule enough to waste more time on this conversation. You could've just sat on the corridor and studied as well.

- But you are good with business. You rank high in the class.

- And how do you know that?

- Because I know. - he crosses his arms over his chest. - So, what are you gonna say? - his eyes kept studying you as you counted pros and cons in your head. Your German grade meant much to you and your grandmother. And that boy was right about your business skills. You always rank high in that one particular class. And if that was just running school club's expenses, that judging by the boys you've just met looked likely innocent, you could've squeezed another task to your daily to-do list. As if it wasn't long enough.

- You got yourself a deal - you reached out your right hand to the boy. He put a winning smile on his face as he shaked your hand.

- Wunderbar, meine Dame.

- What?

- Sorry. Die Dame mea-

- I know what that means. Why you'd called me that?

- Pardon me. Habit from the club.

- What's this club anyway?

- Ouran High School Host Club. - he stared at your surprised eyes with amusement. - Now, let me guide you to that peaceful place I promised you.

(pt. 2)

#kyoya ootori #kyoya ootori x reader #ouran hshc #ouran kyoya #ouran high school host club #fluff #ouran hshc fanfiction #kyoya ootori x female reader

[sandrayofsun]

Only Friends ep.6 thoughts

Alright everyone... It's taken me a minute to make this review because frankly I can't believe episode 6 happened. I literally have rewatched it only twice because the first time I had to rewatch to process and the second time I knew I couldn't handle watching this more than twice.

Let's get into it!

I cannot deny the fact that I primarily watch this show because I'm a big fan of FirstKhao's acting as a couple and individually. They are really crafting a story together that is miles ahead of the other couples in terms of complexity, chemistry and pacing.

So, I was a little disappointed that we didn't get as much screen time of them together, HOWEVER, I will say that they both did so well individually. First's emotional control as Sand with his mother at the hospital, his confrontation with top, and his interaction with Nick.

This show has made it clear that there is no clear good and bad, but it does an incredible job of showing the reflection of what relationships/friendships can go through. I think for a lot of the show, Sand was presented as the 'better' character, but this episode really showed that no matter how good someone is, they are still capable of doing morally grey things.

IMO this is most reflected in the scene at the pool table with both Sand and Ray following the sad events of the last episode.

As much as Sand cares for Ray, he was still able to manipulate him by using his feelings for Mew to get revenge on Top for stealing his ex. This is the first morally grey things we've seen him do (long overdue if you ask me lol).

Ray on the other hand, I would argue isn't as morally grey, because he seems to have a stronger grasp of his intentions. Kissing Mew, going after Sand, fighting Boston, etc. He knows that he is an alcoholic, an addict and he believes that he is a jinx to others. Making him a little more self aware than the other character (and honestly him and Sand are on the same page on this).

Khaotung does an immaculate job of showing all of the emotions that are plaguing Ray. Wanting to protect the best friend that you think you're in love with, feeling like the boy you could potentially love is pulling away, and violated by the fact that someone who he believed was his friend is betraying him.

Look at this poor baby face:(

I am patiently waiting for next week to know what happens next and see more of their relationship grow. I'm sort of loving that their relationship is hitting the fan now, because that means they have time to rebuild it during the rest of the show.

Bye!

#only friends the series #sandray #only friends #firstkhao #topmew #bostonnick #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #only friends ep6 #aprilcheum #only friends bl

[mightyflamethrower]

Shortly after the terror attacks of October 7, the United States’ position initially appeared to be very clear. This was Israel’s war to fight and we would provide material and vocal support, but allow them to handle it as they saw fit. That lasted for about two weeks. By this past weekend, the situation had shifted noticeably, with threats of escalation showing up to the north of Israel from Hezbollah and rocket attacks on American posts in various places, including Iraq. And now both the Secretary of State and the Defense Secretary are clearly preparing the country for the possibility that the entire situation may blow up and our military is “ready” to go to war if we must. That’s a lot to soak in on a Monday morning, but a wider war may turn out to be inevitable unless Iran can be convinced to back down. (Associated Press)

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Secretary of State Antony Blinken and Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said Sunday that the United States expects the Israel-Hamas war to escalate through involvement by proxies of Iran, and they asserted that the Biden administration is prepared to respond if American personnel or armed forces become the target of any such hostilities. “This is not what we want, not what we’re looking for. We don’t want escalation,” Blinken said. “We don’t want to see our forces or our personnel come under fire. But if that happens, we’re ready for it.” Austin, echoing Blinken, said “what we’re seeing is a prospect of a significant escalation of attacks on our troops and our people throughout the region.”

I’m not going to criticize Blinken, Austin, or the Biden administration for facing reality and saying that we are “prepared” for war. It’s a crazy world, and we should always be prepared to go to war if we must. But we must also keep in mind the fact that war is and always must be the course of last resort. (Did we learn nothing from Iraq?) Diplomacy is always the preferred option if possible.

Sadly, diplomacy with Iran may not even be possible. They remain the world’s largest sponsor of terrorism and they are already at war with us, Israel, and the West in general. They just fight their wars in an unconventional fashion. If Hezbollah opens up a full attack on Israel from the north and attempts to move into Israeli territory, we will know immediately that it was Iran that equipped the terrorists and gave them the green light to go in.

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In this regard, Joe Biden does bear a significant amount of the blame. It’s difficult to argue that we didn’t see this level of unrest and fighting in the Middle East during the Trump administration because we were cracking down on Iran, enforcing the sanctions on their oil exports, and taking out leading terrorist figures with missiles when they misbehaved. That all changed as soon as Joe Biden took office and began begging Iran to restart Obama’s disastrous nuclear deal. Iran has grown fat with cash under Biden’s watch, shipping massive volumes of oil to China and other destinations, all of which should have been blocked under the existing sanctions.

Biden’s timid and conciliatory approach to Iran was not rewarded with cooperation or better behavior. The Mullahs simply pocketed our cash and used it to ramp up the capabilities of Hamas and Hezbollah. And now they have launched a full-fledged war on Israel that threatens to embroil the entire region if not the world. (Russia has already been threatening Israel and China is now making similar noises and they have dispatched warships into the region. This could still go global.)

It didn’t have to be this way. These bad actors, particularly Iran, do not respect tokens of friendship or efforts to bargain. They only understand and respect strength. When America fails to lead with strength, our adversaries take note and have shown that they are willing to seize the opportunity, potentially to horrific effect. It may be too late to dial this back at this point, but unless Biden shows a significantly stiffer spine, the entire world may wind up changing significantly, leaving America’s days as a global power and thought leader in the dust.

Whatever Happened to "Give Peace a Chance"

#Youtube

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

It's interesting to me how impressed I am by Seward's behavior to Lucy and how appalled I am by his behavior to Renfield. In the first case, although he is absolutely maidenless he's not an Incel. He has consistently shown that he values Lucy for herself not as an extension of his ego and wants to see her happy and well even if it's not with him. He has not been creepy or weird and is literally only seeing her now because she's not well, even though it's aggravating his broken heart. He's doing all this work and spending all this energy on her in the spirit of friendship. It's very selfless and I couldn't hope for anyone to handle a rejection better than he did.

Then on the other hand Renfield is clearly not a person to him. He is a specimen, and one which he dives into studying as a distraction from all the depressing shit in his life(guess he didn't handle the rejection perfectly after) He watches and encourages displays of potentially dangerous behavior. Seward's dialogue with Renfield makes me sick tbh, it's like in high school when there would be a kid who was a little/a lot not all there and some people would sort of make them a joke without the person realizing it? Seward's more professional than that but I feel like it's the same germ of human nature that's present in both scenarios. One of the reasons it's taken me so long to warm up to him is that right out of the gate we're hearing how he talks about Renfield for months before we see him interact with his friends, so we're seeing him at his worst first.

We're all capable of really Good and really Bad behavior and it's really pronounced with Seward

#dracula daily #dr seward

[aaronymous999]

OKAY SO IM ABOUT TO RANT ABOUT MY OCS BECAUSE IM BACK OBSESSING OVER THEM-

Also if there's any conflicting information that's because I'm still working on my universe and I don't really have set lore yet! Which I'm working on!

Name : Nathaniel Osborn

Pronouns : He/Him

Age - 15

He's Norman Osborn's son and Harry's younger brother, one of the experimental spiders was accidentally released during a showcase that was meant to show people Oscorps ability to potentially cure the rare blood disease that runs in the Osborn family using genetic material from certain species. And it bit Nate. Making him have webs built into his wrists, the ability to stick onto things, spider sense, camouflage and regenerative capabilities.

After a few months of crime fighting as Spider-Man, Norman figures out his son was bitten and tries to rush the spider experiment, the first had taken decades to perfect, which turns him into Green Goblin because he meshed his genetic material with certain reptiles. He loses his mind and kills Nathan's mother, then disappears.

Nate becomes very emotionally distant and afraid to become close to others because of the experience with his father, he loses a sense of morality for a while and goes down a dark path his brother brings him back to the light. Now, he's very strong about his morals and refuses to go 'too far' with his vigilantism, he refuses to work with the police and has a lot of sympathy for criminals who steal to survive or are unable to escape their lifestyle because they were born into it.

In conversation he's a bit dry and his humor is very 'knock knock' 'who's there' 'the interrupting cow' 'the interrupting-' 'moo.😐😑😐' because he fails to understand a lot of humor and sarcasm, yet he's also semi-sarcastic unintentionally. He doesn't like speaking publicly or in large crowds of people, and tends to like comfortable silence more than talking to others.

He's not that gifted academically and cheats off of people in school a lot, which gets him in detention often, he tends to have a problem with authority figures.

He isn't aware of Miguel's Spider Society. But, if he was, he wouldn't agree with Miguel and would try to find a way to save everybody.

Name - Spider (They don't like their bio name and so chose this as a nickname of sorts)

Pronouns - They/Them

Age - 20

Spider is an alien from a planet that's very technologically advanced, but their species repress emotions a lot and have a lack of understanding about empathy and sympathy. When they finally come to Earth, after being in an incident in an asteroid field which makes their escape pod crash land onto Earth, they try to become more sympathetic with Earth and scrounge around for a while before meeting Nate.

They form a sibling dynamic and Nate eventually convinces Spider to begin fighting crime as a Spidey duo! Spider has much less of a moral compass than Nate and only does it to keep their friendship alive, as Nate's too busy with his time being kept by crime fighting and school, so they decide to tag along for the vigilantism so that they can spend time together.

They have a romantic relationship with their universe's Black Cat, this leads to some conflict with Spider-Man who has major problems with the fact that Black Cat doesn't need to steal and is doing it for greed rather than survival. Spider's a lot more violent when it comes to criminals and typically has to be held back by Spider-Man as to not result in the death of somebody, they also have to be hidden from the public eye, including Nate's brother Harry despite the fact they all live in the same house.

Sometimes they may eat rats or birds in New York alleyways because their species stomachs can't actually handle vegetables, fruits, or cooked meat, only raw meat, and they prefer to eat things alive.

They understand English but can't speak it too well, instead they're very expressive with their movements and noises to make up for the lack of communication. They don't mind attempting communication but after a while if someone can't understand them they get frustrated and storm off.

They are aware of Miguel's Spider Society and turned down joining it, although, they do agree with Miguel's morals of keeping the canon intact, and so they won't prevent a canon event from happening if they know it's about to, no matter the heartbreak it'd cause. This is because they think one or two people dying is a far better outcome than the entire universe.

OH MY GOSH I LOVE THEM… Spider especially! And I always find Spider-People and Black Cat ships interesting.

As for how my Spiders would interact with them/befriend them I have a few ideas, although realistically they would never speak but if they did happen to meet here are some ideas! ( If you like any of these a lot I could probably bullshit an idea to how they could actually meet :) I know you responded to like one of my posts earlier idk if this is actually what you wanted to hear in response very bad at reading people LOL )

Aaron Allan would be kind and polite to Nate, and maybe even like him a little but there would definitely be a sense of unease considering Nate is Harry’s brother and all. Aaron’s universe’ Harry is a shitty person and a bully, so seeing someone that looks so much like him would probably freak Aaron out a little bit. With the Spider on the other hand, Aaron would feel incredibly uncomfortable due to Spider’s more violent methods. Aaron probably wouldn’t have the guts to say anything about it but might confide in Nate with his worries about how far Spider goes.

Miles Morales would probably think Nate is pretty cool, as he does with any superhero who is older than him, he’d look up to him and probably adapt to some of his opinions if he got super close with him! He’d be a little weirded out discovering Nate is the kid of Norman Osborn, but he could get past it. As for Spider Miles would probably be disapproving of their methods but respect them nonetheless.

Cindy Moon would sadly hate both of them, she’s pretty aloof in general and doesn’t trust any other spiders that aren’t apart of her universe. She’d probably be harsh on Nate and tell him to go harder with his job, and critique Spider for how harsh they go. The two would have the distinct feeling that Cindy could never be satisfied with whatever they did.

Peter Parker being a tech guy wouldn’t be able critique Nate or Spider’s crime fighting, but Peter would probably get along with the two as well as he gets along with anyone. Which is badly because Peter is super awkward and would probably be barely able to communicate with the two of them without accidentally saying something rude. He’d be panicking at every interaction lol.

Mary Jane Watson is rather aloof and awkward around people as well, but I think she’d be able to get along with Nate pretty well after getting some time to get used to him. As for Spider, MJ probably wouldn’t be weirded out or anything, she’d just be kinda awkward around them and probably wouldn’t know how to start a conversation and the two would just never talk lol.

Gwen Stacy being the energetic of her Spider trio would be super excited to meet more spiders! Although she’d probably consider the two “gloomy” even though that’s not really the case for them. Gwen would probably make it her mission to “get Spider out of their shell” and fail spectacularly. She’d try and rope in Nate into helping her but I can’t imagine that she’d succeed.

I think Emilio is very similar to Nate and Spider, which is why I think he’d silently vibe and get along with them. He wouldn’t talk much but he’d be willing to listen or work with them when needed. He matches Spider’s more violent methods which might cause some conflict between him and Nate, especially because in Emilio’s universe, nobody is stopping him from putting criminals and villains in straight up comas.

Asher would probably be super adamant about recruiting Spider into the society as one of Miguel’s righthand men, but would be rather disappointed once he failed. He doesn’t like people whatsoever and after this would just ignore and avoid the two of them to avoid social interaction as much as humanly possible.

Liz is a pretty friendly person, although her Goldweaver persona is a lot more laidback and quiet, she would probably get along with the two of them pretty well, although she’d be carrying most of the conversations with Spider. I think she and Nate could be pretty good friends! I don’t know if they’d have much in common but Liz can literally make friends with anyone so I think she could do it!

Nancy Ghoul would totally be down with Spider’s vibe and probably get along with them a bit better than Nate. Although a lot of it would be Nancy thinking that Spider is super cool looking and badass, but she’d never admit that. Anything or anyone that matches her Nancy vibes and her Orbweaver vibes? Immediately awesome in her mind. With Nate however she’d probably stay as her quiet and stoic self as she struggles to communicate with like average humans from a time period that’s not her own as she worries about sounding “old”.

Owen well uh… let’s just say that he would really dislike Spider. Owen is one of my more openly a bad person Spider OCs, and he’s pretty awful and discriminatory because of that. He works for the US government who could have guessed that he wouldn’t like aliens all that much. On the other hand at first Owen would be very buddy buddy with Nate, considering the fact that in his universe, Norman Osborn is a politician that he directly works with. However once he would discover that Spider and Nate work together, he’d be disappointed in him and stubbornly try to change his mind and spread his hate to Nate.

Lena is a very charismatic and manipulative lady. She does what she wants and gets what she wants and what she wants is power. So she has a way with getting people under her thumb, although I doubt that would work on either of these two. Lena is working to increase her following of Spider-People to create her own society and overthrow Miguel. And I really don’t think either of these two would be able to get behind it no matter what manipulative stops Lena would pull out.

Whether or not Tobi likes the two would be completely dependent on if they shared her love of music and her campaigning for human rights. Tobi would DEFINITELY be skeptical of Nate considering who his dad is but she doesn’t like to judge a book by it’s cover. Spider on the other hand she probably wouldn’t be able to read or figure out what they’re thinking. Tobi is just left confused and distant.

Billie and Annie are a bit of a package deal, although I think they would have very different opinions on Nate and Spider. Billie would probably get along with the both of them a lot more due to her general optimism. Annie on the other hand would probably just want to curl up in the corner or lean on Billie’s shoulder while they talk since she’s a massive introvert and hates the Osborn family…

#aaronymous ramblings #spiderman #spider man #spider-man #aaronymous ocs #oc #ocs #across the spiderverse #atsv #spidersona #I love Nate so much… #I do like Spider as well but Nate is definitely my favorite I love the Osborns and their drama

[crimeronan]

I feel like I would consider myself polyamory agnostic in a way, like I would maybe like for it to happen but I often fear that I don't have the ability to manage even one partnership, let alone multiple relationships, since I am often. So tired. I often find myself idealizing the "late" stage of a relationship when everyone already has settled into what to expect of each other and knows not to take it personally if someone falls asleep mid movie, for example. All this to say, how do you handle your relationship structure as a disabled/chronically ill person? Do you have any advice/thoughts on how it works for you? (I feel like perhaps you have posted about this before and I am just forgetting...)

oh this is a really good question! i'm not sure how relevant my life experience will be to you, particularly given that i started dating all three of my current partners before becoming disabled/crippled. but i am happy to share!

first off -- i 100% get romanticizing the late stage of relationships, sometimes you just need things to be chill and flexible. but i also don't think that this stage necessarily Needs to be reserved for Late Relationships?

like.... the older i get, the more upfront i've decided to be about my needs, especially with new people. granted, a lot of the people i meet these days are either disabled themselves or Get It -- my social circle is mostly queer spoonies in their 20s and 30s + much much older retirees that i hang out with at the local pool.

some people prefer not to be so open so quickly about their limitations, it is hard and scary to be visibly disabled, harder still to ask for help & admit that you might be inconvenient / a burden / take up extra space. this USED to be me until i said. eh. fuck it. after a certain point, wounded pride is just a mental construct

basically, like. when i'm online these days, you'll see me be clear about my limits with strangers - i'll say that if i stop replying to chats or asks, it's not bc i hate you, it's bc i'm tired or forgetful. that i can't guarantee responses to ppl, even people i'm already friendly with. that if my mood is bad or my pain levels are high, i won't engage in much social interaction at All. that my capabilities fluctuate wildly depending on the day and that i cannot be relied upon for consistent scheduling or posting or creative output

i'm similarly open with people irl. it helps that i'm often using mobility aids when i'm talking to people. the mobility aids sorta strip the possibility of pretending not to be disabled. it's kinda the elephant in the room. but it means that i can be like, "as you can see, i am very crippled. i may need flexibility with any plans that we make. due to being very crippled."

if people get upset by this or simply don't have the capacity to deal with it, that is fine! that's not either of our faults, no one's done anything wrong, we're just not in the right circumstances to mesh. i don't get hurt by that personally. i've honestly found that it saves SO much time and hassle and potential drama/heartache to set expectations right away. the only other option is to exhaust myself and end up failing to meet expectations regardless and losing the friendship after burning up a bunch of energy and social bridges. painful and bad!

so like... i can meet a new person, and if they're cool with My Whole Deal, then there's no waiting period before we're familiar enough for flaky behavior. i can be like, "i'm not sure i'll be able to walk tonight, is there a place to sit down at the event?" or "i'm flaring a little, is it okay for us to be kinda flexible about tomorrow's schedule?" or "hey, i'll get back to you as soon as possible i promise, i'm just fogged TO SHIT today [peace sign]" from day 1. it's great

i'm not saying that you Have to do this; i am aware that it breaches like seventeen laws of general social etiquette. i'm just saying that i have met many people who are totally chill about this! as long as you're chill and respectful of the other person as well, you can do whatever you want forever

that was not even relevant to the initial ask, so. AS FOR MY PARTNERS.

i actually don't find that my illness makes it harder to navigate my relationships at all. like i mentioned, i've been with all three partners for Many Many Years now. we know each other Extremely well, we're all extremely turbo autistic, we all have blunt communication down to a science. so saying "i'm not up for doing [x thing] tonight, can we take a rain check?" is super easy.

in fact, my partners can basically intuit a flare from just my physical movements and tone of voice, even before i say a single word. we are VERY familiar with each other.

.....and, alright. after fighting the urge to longpost i've decided to put the rest under a cut. YOU'RE WELCOME 4 THE RETURN OF YOUR DASHBOARDS. "why didnt you put it under a cut so much earlier" read my posts boy

anyway. click readmore to hear me expand upon just how fucking incredible and awesome and kind and generous and loving my People are

there ARE some ways that the illness has made it more difficult for ME to be the kind of partner that i want to be -- for example, i often lack the energy to provide proper emotional support during stressful situations, i have a shorter threshold for pain/irritation than i used to, i can't give 100% of my energy anymore and there have been times when that has resulted in hurt feelings in my partners.

(there have been far more times, though, when nobody's feelings are hurt and it's literally fine.)

in every case where feelings DID get hurt, we've talked stuff out and fixed it within like an hour. bc we all trust each other and know that we don't WANT to hurt each other's feelings. i never ever Ever say things with the intention of wounding my partners, and they know that. they never say things with the intention of wounding me, either, which is why our very blunt "hey, you need to change something you're doing" convos go so well. there's no need to tiptoe, it doesn't hurt me to know what they're thinking or feeling or needing.

sometimes things are just hard and shitty and we're all doing the best we can. this is just part of adulthood i think. especially adulthood in late stage capitalism, etc. the Biggest key to my polycule is that we are all much happier as a family than we would be without each other. the relationships are about as wholesome and healthy and non-toxic and openly communicative as they can get

the Other key aspect when dealing with my illness is that.... being polyamorous has actually been... SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER than being 1) alone, OR 2) in a monogamous relationship EVER WOULD BE?

it is Extremely Stressful for my family to deal with me being this sick. i am aware of that. but i haven't had to bear the brunt of it. not only do they support me, but they also all communicate with and support each other. so no one person is bearing the entire weight of the stress or pain or fear. and i don't have to comfort people over my own symptoms, which most disabled ppl i think would agree is.... exhausting

when i'm too fucked up to speak aloud, let alone support my partners the way i usually do, they ALWAYS have EACH OTHER as a safety net.

this safety net has been beyond vital for me personally, too. round-the-clock care from a single partner is insane and exhausting and leads to unraveling tempers. but when you live with two partners who can help cover your chores and cook and make sure you don't die of your Symptoms (TM)? that's much more doable.

it's HARD, bc literally everyone in the house is disabled to some degree, but it's doable. (it being hard is part of why my QPR is going to move in with us soon. extra hands!)

a few weeks ago, rafi (partner of 7ish years) went on a short vacation to visit family in california. and justice (QPR of 3ish years, best friend of 8ish years) booked an impromptu next-day plane ticket to come stay with me and vi (partner of 11ish years) while rafi was gone. because i was Very Sick. i was flaring horribly the whole time she was here, and she made meals and cleaned and ran errands and picked up medications and returned phone calls and lay in bed with me watching low-stakes tv shows and made sure i didn't stroke out without anyone there to help.

this meant that i basically got to stay in bed the whole time, which was very very Very needed. and vi -- who has a bad back -- wasn't unduly taxed with Literally All of the household upkeep in rafi's absence.

the same principle has applied when i've needed my partners to help cover my share of bills or my household chores or my errands or whatever. since there are three other people involved, the Immediate Support Net is much wider than in a monogamous relationship. especially bc all three of them have their own familial and friend support networks to reach out to!

having more people around is actually awesome for me. i don't feel like i'm expending a lot more energy than i would in a monogamous relationship, but i AM receiving a TON more support and care and love than would be possible in a monogamous relationship.

i guess the conclusion i'd make is: no man is an island, humans are hardwired to build large social support groups, and in a good relationship, you'll receive At Least as much as you give. right now i'm receiving a SHIT TON MORE than i give, and i do often feel pretty bad about it despite knowing it's not my fault.

but these people have chosen to be my family. and if they ever want to stop choosing me then they absolutely can. and if they need more from me or they need something Different from me, then they'll literally just tell me.

(i know they will literally just tell me because all three of them have literally just told me in the past. they're three people i can implicitly trust to say things like "hey, this thing you said made me sad / was unhelpful" and "hey, i'm really stressed out about [x thing], can we make a plan to deal with it?" and "hey, this situation is pretty serious and i know that you don't want to face it but i really need you to. i will take on whatever i can for you and support you the whole time")

so: yes it has been hard to some extent, managing three relationships while also being sick. but it is also a wonderful setup with a million unthought-of advantages & i am much better cared-for and much better AT caring because of it & i fucking Shudder to think how horrific being sick would be without them.

i love my family so much.

#long post #replies #polyamory #this barely scratches the surface bc it's just a few examples of how our dynamics work but hopefully it is clarifying #polyamory is an advantage that has saved my Entire Ass. my partners are wonderful. #all relationships do take work but my three relationships don't take So Much Work that there's no benefit you know #the work is really easy. it's just. you take care of me when i need it and you can. i take care of you when you need it and i can #that's literally it. it's not a hard symbiosis to maintain #autoimmune tag

[utopiastrology]

Jupiter transits through the houses - part 1

For this series, look at the period of time when Jupiter is actually transiting that house in your chart, as opposed to just when it’s changing signs. 

These transits are meant to highlight areas of growth in your life, ways in which you can utilise Jupiter to bring forth opportunities, fortune and help, to find completion and fulfillment in life.

Jupiter transit 1st house: this is truly the time to reinvent yourself. You might feel like a bit of a newborn, new uncharted paths laid out before you, none of them necessarily easy or straightforward. You could be trying out multiple routines, hobbies, job paths, even friendship groups, whatever relates to how you define yourself is susceptible to be changed, thrown out, upgraded. It can be both fun and challenging, so now you must learn to embrace the discomfort and uncertainty of starting over and eventually find some discipline to ground you through it all. You could also be very focused on your head/face and changing your beauty regimen. It is a time to experiment, find out what you want, and what you will put your own spotlight on for the next cycle of Jupiter.

Jupiter transit 2nd house: get ready to find out new ways to make money, earn your place in the world and find your self worth. Whatever opportunity is the right size for how much you can handle and how you see yourself, Jupiter will provide it to you at this time. What you set your sight on during Jupiter in the 1st, will be granted during Jupiter in the 2nd - or at least, the first real, significant step towards those goals will come to pass. Your level of self esteem is the key to getting what you want. Put yourself in situations that give you a boost of confidence to bring forth those opportunities, and ask for help when you need it. You could be motivated to work extremely hard, and that will bear its fruits. 

Jupiter transit 3rd house: the world is asking you to communicate. Keepings things in and repressing who you are is just not the move. You will feel compelled to start letting people know what you truly think and feel, and the toothpaste just can’t go back into the tube - which does not mean communication has to be violent at all, just more honest, more adult. In this process, Jupiter will also gift you with diplomacy and encourage you to further grow your vocabulary and open your mind up to new ways of thinking and relating to people. You might want to take some short trips but it’s frankly not that relevant. 

Jupiter transit 4th house: one of my favorites, I must say. This Jupiter will want to give you building blocks of inner security, a foundation to your own personal cathedral if you will, the edifice of your future joy and success...by making you appreciate the present, and its unbound creative potential. The IC is a very underrated, complex and profound part of your chart. The 10th provides what you expected to get, what you consciously strive for and the persona you can use in front of the world; the 4th house gives you what you never even thought you were capable of, or even thought to desire in the first place. Thus the IC gives you back to yourself and the vastness that’s inside of you, not outside. The 4th house shows your Potential, and Jupiter loves being in that motivational speaker role. This is the placement that reminds you to no longer strive so hard; to listen to your inner voice and receive with ease, but without expectation. A lot of people going through this will see an improvement or a smoothing of their relationships with the people they see as a their innermost circle, be it close relatives or friends. For fewer people it also means an uptick in romantic action and prospects  - Cancer / 4th house energy is an emotionally magnetic energy and it works in harmony with Jupiter. 

#Jupiter transits #jupiter through the houses #Jupiter transit 1st house #Jupiter transit 2nd house #Jupiter transit 3rd house #Jupiter transit 4th house

[lady-stormbraver]

okay but the thing about Jamie telling Keeley he loves her is this:

even while I was cringing and telling my tv screen, “No, honey, no, Jamie what are you doing”, I was struck by how earnest he was in that scene.

It wasn’t an ego thing, it wasn’t a power trip, it wasn’t Jamie being a little shit-- no, it was quiet and it was sincere and it was given without any expectation of Keeley doing or saying anything in return.

should he have said it? no, but he holds himself accountable for that later with both Keeley and Roy! he apologizes and reaffirms his respect for their relationship and acknowledges how wrong it was for him to say that! we stan a character who grows and seeks forgiveness!

and I got to thinking, and of course Jamie was confused. of course he thought, very sincerely, that he loved her.

because given his circumstances, wouldn’t anyone confuse sincere friendship for romantic love?

regardless of his romantic and sexual history with Keeley, she is the first person in his life who cares about him as a person. definitely the first girl he’s dated who’s seen him as more than just a sex object. and, more than that, she cares enough about him to not leave him where he is-- but to challenge him to be better. he later finds friends and brothers in the team, but really, she’s his first true friend.

Ted sees his potential too, yes, but Ted is very dad-shaped, especially to Jamie (and I have a whole other essay of thoughts regarding that). and Ted handles Jamie’s immaturity differently than Keeley does-- he largely gives Jamie space to figure things out, while Keeley maintains her boundaries but is far, far more patient with Jamie than most other girls would be with their ex who’s acting like a douche canoe. Jamie flounders when left to his own devices (it's me! hi!) and finds himself seeking her advice time and time again-- because Keeley is friend-shaped, and she gives good advice that he takes to heart:

“Being accountable matters, Jamie.”

“Stop battling the people that just want to help you.”

“Not everyone in your life is out to get you.”

and he learns! and he grows! and she was so impactful to him that he’s filled with so much gratitude and emotion and yeah, of course it’s confusing, because the feeling was friendship, but he had never experienced it!

and just!!! everyone needs friends who will hold them accountable and challenge them to do better because they see who they are, and have always been, capable of becoming-- those friends are life-changing. and Jamie is finally getting to experience being changed for the better from having known and learned from another person, from seeking advice and then following it (which is a lovely character trait), for the first time in his life. it’s overwhelming.

so yes, Jamie dude, you do love her-- you’re just not in love with her. but it’s okay. you’ll keep learning the difference. just look at all the friends and all the love you have surrounding you now!

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #? #sorry I just. I have a lot of thoughts #if this is mostly incoherent that's because it's largely made up of thoughts I had at 4 am #I just!! Jamie's character arc is so interesting to me #couldn't STAND him for most of season 1 but we love a good redemption arc don't we ladies #he's himbo shaped your honor #and little brother shaped #and he's TRYING. he really is. #he's a bit confused but he got the spirit #jamie tartt #I know most of y'all don't go here so this is just me yelling into a void but REGARDLESS

[sammystardust]

dirty little secret . samuel f. kiszka

a/n: hiii this is my first gvf fic and ofc it had to be for my love, sammy <3 anyway, if you're reading this, thank you!! i'm a whore for angst so first fic had to be angst hehe hope you enjoy :)

pairing: sam kiszka x f!reader

wc & summary: {2.8k} in which your friendship with sam grows towards the bedroom, despite it all being kept a secret and your feelings growing more than you can handle.

warnings: swearing, mentions of sexually explicit activities, just general angst, kinda ahole!sam

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

It wasn’t always supposed to be like this. Yet, here you were again – sat upright on the edge of another uncomfy hotel bed. Your bare skin exposed to the elements as what little of what you wore the night before littered among the room. His soft breaths filled the air, a sense of peace and calm for once with your usually rowdy best friend. The light of the alarm clock at your side blinked right back at you. 02:28. You shook your head, still some grogginess to your waking up, before finally standing up. Quickly slipping on your golden silk dress from the carpet, you began to make your way out from the god-forsaken room. Before you could get your hand on the handle, you caught a glimpse of what you were slipping away from.

Sam. Your heart burst at its seams, eyes staring and not being able to look away. He was supposed to be your best friend, going all the way back to your days of skipping classes in high school to get stoned out of your mind with a particularly charismatic, long-haired classmate. Starting from innocent hang-outs up in his childhood bedroom, it was a particularly jarring scene to realize the predicament the both of you have placed yourselves in. The linen blanket covering your best friend lay just barely below his belly button, leaving very little to the imagination. His arm was outstretched, laying on the side where you would have taken comfort in being wrapped up close to him. It almost seemed as if his fingers were curled up, beckoning you to stay the night, but you knew it was all in your head. Just like Sam’s potential feelings for you that were more than just a fuck every time he was in town were most likely in your head.

With a tear finally threatening to spill out, you whipped your head back to the door, gripping the handle as hard as you could. Just as you were turning the knob, a soft voice came from behind – one very capable of making your knees weak and induce a throbbing sensation between your legs. 

“(Y/N),” Sam purred out, ever so softly. His voice was an addiction; one you knew nothing in this world could ever detach you from. You brought your shoulder up to your face, wiping the tears that were beginning to fall. All your feelings for your best friend were beginning to become too much for your heart and head to handle. You needed to get away from him. Before he could slur more lust-coated words at your heart, you ripped open the door and made your way out of the hotel, making a mental note to not look back or you’d end up back in his arms again.

A painful uber ride back to your place was soon welcomed by the silent stillness of your apartment. Throwing everything in your hands down on the floor, you didn’t care. As you stumbled into the retreat of your room, you managed to collapse on your bed, tears now beginning to reveal themselves fully. You wanted so badly to stay in Sam’s arms, sleep with him all the way into the afternoon, but you knew that was impossible. As sleep began to overcome all your senses, your thoughts wandered into how you even got here in the first place.

What started as a drunken makeout in a bathroom during the band’s welcome home party a year ago began a string of affairs whenever Sam would be back in your hometown. Your already present feelings for your best friend blossomed into love and desire for him, though it seemed nobody ever noticed. You were always the best friend, never the girlfriend. You watched from the bench as girlfriends and flings rotated through Sam’s arms, always wishing it was you to stay there. So, when it came to his lips and hands all over your body that fateful night, your mind became hazy, addicted to what can happen between the two of you guys. When it came to the awkward conversation the day after, Sam promptly reassured you that nothing changed between you both and that you were still his best friend. To say the least, your heart completely shattered, but at least he didn’t completely boot you out of his life. It wasn’t long after before you found yourself in his bedroom; this time, your legs over his shoulders as he hovered over you.

A deal had taken shape that day: you would get your fill of each other and you would be gone by dawn. Nothing more, nothing less. Nobody knew of the partnership created between the two of you. Things hadn’t changed: you still hung out with the boys when they came into town or when they flew you out for certain concerts. You were still the baby Kiszka’s best friend and that’s all you would ever be in all of their eyes. Sam had been surprisingly good at keeping your affair below wraps, relishing in the fact that nobody knew. He was all yours whenever he wanted you to be and his best friend whenever he didn’t need you. What he didn’t know was your ever-growing feelings that weren’t being taken care of. Although the deal wasn’t exactly everything you wished for, you knew it was the closest you would get to having Sam. To have his touch and attention on you, even for only hours at a time, was a mind-numbing pleasure only he could provide. You needed him and he needed you, albeit for different reasons. It was what made the deal work so well.

There were times you swore there was love, not just lust in his eyes whenever he was above you in bed. The times he would call you his sweet girl, wrapping his arms and holding you close to his own as he made you moan out his name. Times where after things were said and done, he would wrap the blanket around you both and nuzzle his face into your neck, leaving careful, delicate kisses. Times where his hugs would be tighter, longer than usual around his family and fans. There were so many moments in which your heart latched onto, convincing you that this could become more, yet Sam never pursued anything greater. You were petrified to lose him so you felt this cycle of best friend to fling was only reasonable in the greater scheme of things. But now, over a year after playing these games, your heart was becoming fed up. You were in love with this man. Being just a toy for him to use whenever he wanted was inevitably taking a toll on your wellbeing. You knew that you were going to have to tell him that you both needed to end whatever this was for the sake of yourself, as much as it killed you to admit it.

It didn’t fully hit you until finally being awoken in the evening to a series of knocks on your door. Wiping your eyes and taming your bed-head, you walked over to the door, pulling it open to reveal the one person you didn’t want to see. Your stomach churned as you looked him over, want instantly taking over your body. Sam adorned a neutral multi-colored geometric sweater that hung loose around his shoulders with some black skinny jeans and some sneakers to match. His long hair was put into a messy bun, with loose strands poking out every which way, making you want to just go up and run your hands through them. Some glasses that he rarely ever wore sat on his face, making him all the more handsome and weakening your brittle heart. 

“You left these,” Sam blurted out, as he immediately dug out a lacy thong from his pocket. A blush instantly creeped upon your cheeks as you pulled Sam inside your apartment. You shut the door and snatched the panties from his hand, looking down to realize you were still in your dress from the previous night. With your brain still being cloudy from abruptly being woken up, you made your way to your bedroom, ignoring any more comments from Sam. You threw the underwear into the hamper, scolding yourself for forgetting them in your hasty escape. Before you could take off your dress, you felt Sam’s presence and as you turned around, he had his sweater pushed towards you, a white shirt revealing itself underneath. “Here, take it. I know you like this one.”

He was right. This was your favorite sweater, more so particularly on him. Another time to add to your collection of how sweet Sam could be. You took his offer and began to take off your dress, as he made his way back to your living room. Slipping the now oversized sweater on, you followed Sam to your couch, sitting as far away as possible from him. You grabbed a pillow, placing it on your lap, tugging at the ends that stuck out. The emotions were running high in your body, love and apprehension more than others. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Sam, knowing that when you did, you would fall right into his arms and straddled on his lap like you always did.

“Why did you leave so early?”

“Why are you still here?”

Both of your questions awkwardly came out at the same time after some moments of silence. Immediately at realizing each other’s words, confused looks adopted themselves amongst your faces. At his question, confusion only spurred some anger, egged on through your recently evolved hurt feelings.

“What do you mean why did I leave so early,” You spat out, maybe a bit harsher than you had intended. “You know, I always leave before the sun is even out. That was our deal, wasn’t it?”

Sam stared at you, his eyebrows still furrowed together. He reached out to you, a gentle hand coming close to your elbow, before you pulled yourself away. You could’ve sworn you saw some hurt flash across his eyes, but who were you to believe yourself anymore.

“What has gotten into you? You left before I could even put my clothes back on.” Sam attempted to explain, but you weren’t having any of it. Your passive aggressiveness was only becoming more evident throughout the conversation.

“You act like I’m just supposed to stay and be with you all night,” You mocked. “Samuel, why do you even care? I have never stayed before, this is how it always has been.”

Sam looked taken aback by the usage of his full name, which you rarely ever used. You didn’t think it fit him at all and you, personally, hated calling him by his actual name. You preferred his nicknames and used those all throughout your friendship so the sudden change took both of you by surprise. He stared at you, an unreadable expression settling into his features. You knew you were instigating an argument and you knew better, but frankly, you were tired of this. You loved him and you couldn't settle for less anymore.

“I– Well, yes, but-” He stuttered over his words for a second, which only annoyed you further because you knew you were right and that he had no valid rebuttal.

“But what? Tell me. This is all it has ever been. I am not your girlfriend, Samuel. I am not obligated to stay and be at your beck and call whenever you want me to,” You interrupted, putting a great amount of emphasis on the word girlfriend to really hone in your point. This only confused Sam more, annoyance starting to take over as well. 

“Girlfriend? What are you even talking about?” He questioned, shaking his head slightly. “(Y/N), are you okay?” 

Your irritation only grew further at his questions, practically pulling the ends of your pillow out in frustration. Your mind clearly wasn’t working properly and you were thinking mainly with your emotions, instead of rationally.  Standing up and throwing the pillow to the floor, you sighed heavily with verging tears. 

“God, Sammy…” You began, a look of relief on his face at the name he was more used to from you. “I can’t do this anymore.”

From your confession, Sam’s face promptly fell. He stood up to be in front of you, taking a few steps closer and taking you into him. Immediately, you were swarmed with the comforting scent of his cologne and it was like all wrong washed away. Being in his arms was your home and all you needed when you felt on the brink of breaking. This was it, you could feel his love finally. All of the could have beens were finally becoming a reality and you let your mind become wrapped in this sick, sweet fantasy.

“My sweet girl,” Sam began, a sweet delicacy wrapped around his words. You could feel yourself falling into them, your tears being soaked up by his shirt and allowing him to hold you so close and dear. “We have something so good. Don’t think too much into it or else we’ll ruin it. We just have some fun, y’know?”

The intoxicating fantasy was shattered just as swiftly as it appeared. Your eyes shot open as your heart took a deep dive into your stomach. Pushing Sam away, you instantly put yourself on guard as he looked at you with some slight impatience as he realized his words struck a nerve again. The tears spilled over even more now as Sam stood there, staring straight into you.

“You asshole! I don’t want to be your dirty little secret anymore! I fucking love you!” You screamed at him. Anger and pain weren’t a good mix and you were unleashing all of it. “Could you never tell how much I adored you, Sammy? I need you, all of you. Not just on nights where you want my clothes off! I want to be the one to wake up next to you every morning, the one to kiss you after you get off stage, the one to travel around the world and be by your side all the time! I can’t just be your best friend or whatever the hell you even call this anymore. When was the last time we even hung out without you ripping my clothes apart within an hour, huh?”

Sam stood there, unknown emotions unreadable on his face. The words kept rambling on for you, gutting all of your feelings out and not being able to stop. By the end, you were sniffling harshly and aggressively wiping your hands on your face. The fact that he couldn’t even answer your simple question set you off completely, pursing your lips in a feeble attempt to stop crying. 

“Did you ever want me as more than just your best friend? Do you even love me?” Deep down, you knew what his response would be, but you needed to hear it from him. You stared into his dark eyes, the ones you treasured looking into all times before this. Now, it was difficult to even look into them for more than a few seconds. Silence soon blanketed over the conversation. You could feel your heart thumping louder and harder than usual with your chest heaving up and down. You think you could see some tears forming in Sam’s eyes but you couldn’t be too sure as your sight was blurred from your own.

“(Y/N)...” was all Sam could mutter out. Maybe it was from the way he was short with your name, no sweetness in the way he said it. Or maybe it was the way he took a step back from you after your confession, his eyes averting looking into yours. No matter the reason, you just knew you had your answer. Sam Kiszka didn’t love you the way you loved him.

“Get out.” You snapped, not even letting him finish whatever he had to say. You were done and got what you needed. Sam hesitantly reached out towards you but you snubbed him, turning your back to him. “I said, get out, Samuel.”

Closing your eyes, more tears fell as you could feel his presence slowly dissipate. It was only after you heard the front door shut that you fell to your knees, sobbing. His sweater still being on you was only a cruel reminder of the intoxicating delusion you stirred in your head at the beginning of this partnership with Sam. You could only wish to be back in his arms and take back all that you said but you knew this had to be done. Still, knowing the truth didn’t comfort your broken heart nor did it change the fact that in Sam’s eyes, you were reduced to just a dirty little secret.

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#sam kiskza #sam gvf #greta van fleet #gvf #sammy gvf #sammy kiszka #gvf fic #gvf angst #sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka imagine #sam kiszka fic #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet angst #angst #sammystardust #sfk

[tired-reader-writer]

Lmao, Kubard.

Their friendship is just sooooo <3

This is probably Kubard-speak for “I don't wanna talk about it”.

Interesting. He immediately recognizes Hilmes' name, what's their age gap, four years? Kubard couldn't have been that old when the palace fire happened.

I don't know where I'm going with this, I just found it interesting— especially for Kubard who comes across as someone who don't give a shit about the royal family and what happened in it.

A moment of hesitation, then a grim sort of determination. Saam recognizes Hilmes still has a long way to go if he is to be a good Shah. He is the rightful Shah, sure, but is he a worthy one?

A screencap of Zabul just because.

A smiling Hilmes!! @innerchorus

THEYYYYYYYYY

Kubard is being Kubard, look at the soldiers awkwardly standing in the background lol (did he drink all that?!)

Hilmes trusts his subjects, trusts that Saam will handle Kubard well, and leaves it to him instead of putting pressure on Saam to make Kubard act a certain way. He can be good when he wants to be, he has potential, which is all the more reason why it irritates me when he's being obstinate!

How about displaying some of this trust to Saam in the incident against Team Zahhak, Hilmes? Hm? I know you're fucking capable of it.

Naughty rightful Shahs go into the haunted temple until they reflect on their actions.

A happy Zandeh!!

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #heroic legend of arslan #arslan senki reread #kubard #saam #sam #hilmes #zandeh

[erikahammerschmidt]

part of why I have become deeply uncomfortable with the idea of monogamous marriage-- and much more comfortable with the "several roommates with benefits" living situation-- is the same reason I'm uncomfortable with the isolated nuclear family for childraising.

we all --regardless of what we do for our own health-- run the risk of someday needing to be cared for like children.

And saying that every person is capable of this is just as dangerous as saying every person is capable of being a good parent.

and yet. Under the current expectations of monogamy, every person entering a marriage goes into it knowing that there's a chance society will someday expect them to do this. To take over-- not just play a part in, but take on like an entire job-- what are basically childraising duties.

Except that the person you may be having to physically lift and move-- who may be mentally impaired and physically fighting you on it-- is going to be adult-sized and not child-sized.

And you will be getting older and less physically strong yourself.

And this person will be gradually getting more dependent on you, not less.

And you will probably still need to have a job to survive, and you cannot send this person to a government-funded school just to keep them safe during the day while you are at your job.

And society may also be expecting you to do the same for your own parents. At the same time.

And if you give up on any of this, if you "put them in a nursing home" (to be cared for by a team of multiple people who are trained in these tasks and paid for them) you are considered a bad person who has abandoned the one you swore to love forever, in their time of most desperate need.

(this goes for the aforementioned parents as well as the aforementioned spouse.)

and that is an understandable viewpoint, because nursing homes are very often terrible. the team "caring" for your loved one will be an overworked, underpaid skeleton crew, with multiple people to care for, and not nearly enough support for the ways this overtaxes them and sometimes puts them in actual danger.

if their charges physically fight them, for example, they will often have no protection from this-- because what is your boss supposed to do about abuse from someone not responsible for their mental state and their actions, whose care is your job, and who literally can't survive without it?

it is likely this "team" will all be on the verge of breaking.

(all of this, as a distantly related side note, also goes for the teachers at the aforementioned government-funded school for your aforementioned children.)

(caregiving is a mess at every level of society.)

As someone without either children or a monogamous spouse-- in a society where those are the default caregivers, and any alternatives are treated like desperate last resorts-- I am apprehensive about what will happen when my own health runs out.

and yet I am, somehow, not AS apprehensive as I would be, if I had a person already assigned to take on that role, unpaid, unprepared, out of family obligation to me.

because being apprehensive on the part of myself, my own potential suffering, is more manageable, somehow, than the fear that my own future might inflict such suffering on a person I love.

Villages should be raising children. Villages should also be caring for the disabled and elderly, together.

My house full of roommates is, somewhat, a village caring for one another. It is nowhere near enough. But it's the best I have, right now.

I still should make clear plans, to whatever degree I can in this terrifying world. Plans, thoroughly discussed with all my friends, for just what they should do in the event of my sudden disability--- just how they should share and handle the task of getting me into a more stable living arrangement, with no more than that ever required from them.

Because even as a group, they should not have that obligation pushed upon them unasked-- any more than my blood relatives should.

Neither friendship nor family ties should ever, ever be taken as implicit consent to this.

But friendship-- casual friendship, unbound by something like blood or marriage-- feels perhaps a little bit less like outright coercion. Especially if spread out among several friends.

I don't know. None of it is okay. I don't know how to make it as close to okay as possible. Even though my own current life is enormously privileged, in comparison to so many others.

(I am glad none of my blood family back home follow my Tumblr. Because one form of my privilege is that I'm sure several of them would respond to this with "You don't have to worry! We would help you! Of course we would! We're family!")

(and I would not know how to make them understand that that's part of the problem I'm writing about, here.)

#disability #support networks #desperately inadequate support networks #fear for the future

[gnomey22]

Destructive

Erica and Chi probably have my favourite dynamic in the entire Failtopia series. If not, they're definitely my favourite platonic dynamic. I'm legally obligated to think about them at least once per day, and today's thought was detailed enough for a post. Here it is:

Chi is incredibly destructive. She's an arsonist, a pyromaniac, a Mage, every other synonym for being a fire enjoyer that you can think of, it's impossible for her not to be. But she always destroys for the purpose of building something up.

Most often, she uses her fire magic to build up her own levels, exploring her own hobbies in a way that actually helps people because of the faces being saved, or simply getting the monsters away from her friends, strengthening their bonds. This results in her saving the world with The FailFleet Miis. Even her arson spree during the Three-Year Gap serves similar purposes, and breaking into the high school kickstarts her scientific career, which ends up saving the entire world again with The Incident! Whether she's burning down entire inns, or ingesting several gallons of gasoline and a whole tube of vaseline, she only destroys as a learning experience for creation. An experiment, one might say.

Erica, however, is only trying to create, in her time with The FailFleet Miis. She's seen enough destruction in the colossal failures of her previous parties, and once she realises this team has some potential, she refuses to let them fall because of stupid battle strategies, she can't handle any more of that. Her dedication to making sure the team doesn't die out, as well as her ability to create functioning strategies, are unmatched. She even creates a couple friendships, a couple bonds of trust she can use to further her own effectiveness as a member of the team, and carry them through to the end!

Then, they reach the end. A large majority of those bonds of trust are broken into pieces, and she falls into another cycle of watching every team she joins collapse to the floor because she couldn't do anything to help them. Building herself up as a worthy teammate may have helped save the world, but it all came crashing down once The FailFleet Miis inevitably broke apart. What she built herself up as is all her new teammates ever saw her as. She wasn't a person to trust, she was a world-class healer they trusted to keep them safe.

Destruction was the only way to let herself shine. At least then, your actual personality made an impact on people, not just your talents. And the impact wasn't failure.

In her switch to the Warrior class, she doesn't intend on building up anything, she just wants to do something without being weighed down by her healing responsibility for once.

Chi is someone who does not worry about her responsibilities in the slightest, she does what's best for her goals, and she pushes right through the blatant dangers to get there. Due to being "the antithesis of anatomy", none of this is capable of truly harming her - And she still recognises that the path Erica took wasn't good for her in the slightest. Erica is falsely building herself up as a destructor, and despite her constant barrage of threats, the only thing she's destroying is herself.

So, in response to this, Chi does exactly what she always does. Destroys as a form of creation.

She constantly teams up with Erica to defeat the monsters, and breaks down the image she's putting up by rooming with her at most times and dragging her to a ton of Outings. She helps Erica express herself in a way that takes advantage of her skills, rather than neglecting them for voicing every violent thought going through her head. Chi knows Erica has no intention of breaking apart the team, like she keeps saying. Chi knows Erica wants this team to work out, and finally prove that it's even possible to make that happen, while still allowing herself to exist as a person, and a carrier of the team.

Erica knows Chi is already proving that. Her Scientist abilities are the backbone of the entire operation in Neksdor, and she still refuses to hide her intentions for even a second. She can take a page from that.

During the Neksdor arc, Erica loses her weapon to an enemy, immediately proclaims she doesn't need it, and kills said enemy in one hit with her bare hands. She also watches the entire team get knocked to the floor, akin to the deaths of her previous teams, but she weaponises her anguished emotions in by riding atop Void, murdering the painting, and winning the fight on around 5 HP. In the series finale, she gets so angry at Chi being knocked out, that she attacks four times in a row and kills the literal right hand of a god.

This is how Erica releases her emotions through destruction, and still build herself up as a real person with motivations. Motivations like carrying the team to functionality, fighting alongside those she actually properly cares about, and starting to kill when those loved ones are in harm's way. All of which are reminiscent of Chi's style of battling for the sake of friendship, and proving her talents.

Chi made a dumbass decision, joining another genocidal-demon-fighting team just because she saw someone she used to look up to struggling with their mental health, but she made a lot of good come out of that dumbass decision. As is her right, when she is in fact the person who began her science career by breaking into a high school.

#failtopia #failboat miitopia #failboat #failtopia erica #failtopia chi #Erica #Chi #why was I compelled to write this? #you don't need to know #I just had many thoughts #not counting this as an official analysis #because a lot of this is rooted in my own headcanon(s) #but this is still a very long ramble about Failtopia characters #and why I believe they're peak fiction #sorry for the lack of posts recently I was doing nothing

[usagirln12003]

Hiccup Haddock: Hogwarts AU

Hiccup Haddock is a Pureblood wizard that was born on the 1st of March 1975 and started attending Hogwarts on the 1st of September 1986, being sorted into Ravenclaw house.

He has a Willow wand with a Dragon Heartstring core.

His Patronus is a Norwegian Ridgeback.

His favorite subject is Care of Magical Creatures and his least favorite is Defense Against the Dark Arts.

He was one of the Ravenclaw Prefects of his year, Ravenclaw's Seeker and eventually the Head-Boy of his year.

Despite his physical shortcomings, Hiccup does his best to succeed as a wizard. He is intelligent and is constantly creating inventions for various uses throughout his Hogwarts years, including a bola launcher, a dragon's prosthetic tail and saddle, and a riding vest. However, he is much stronger than he appears.

At first, Hiccup is obsessed with proving himself to the rest of his family by learning as much magic as possible. He often doesn't think things through and is more determined to gain the recognition of his peers than he is heedful of others' orders, often causing problems for everyone in Ravenclaw, including himself. Despite this, Hiccup shows great aptitude at being a strategist: he leads his classmates into battle, knowing how to use his friends' strengths in the battle against the Red Death. Hiccup also has very good observational skills that come in handy during his time with Toothless and during Care of Magical Creatures classes. For example, he's able to hypothesize that dragons have a natural disdain for eels when his own dragon companion is repulsed by the sight of one and uses this to successfully drive back another Norwegian Ridgeback later.

He is very protective of Astrid and during his first year, he has a crush on her. Their feelings mature as they grew up and as his story progressed. Among the other teenage witches and wizards, Hiccup first comes off as awkward, mainly because he's a poor dueller, and rather scrawny for someone in his family, prompting mockery from his peers. As he becomes more adept at duelling, however, they start paying more attention to him, and friendships start developing. Despite this, Hiccup remains shy and secretive, preferring to be alone with Toothless. He also tends to be sarcastic with a dry sense of humor that can sometimes put him at odds with the other members of Ravenclaw house. It also seems that Hiccup likes to hide his fear with said sarcasm and dry humor. Due to his shyness, he had a habit of stuttering and stammering when talking to some of the other Hogwarts students, especially Astrid, or when his father is angry at him.

Despite his many virtues and his clear capabilities as a leader, Hiccup is not without his flaws. He is rather prone to letting his insecurities cloud his judgment and affect his actions; during his first years at Hogwarts, his desperation for the acceptance of his family, and his father in particular, cause him to regularly attempt to challenge his cousin to duels, only to end up doing more harm than good due to his clumsiness. In his fifth year, his mistaken belief that Stoick still does not accept him causes him to lead his friends on a potentially dangerous treasure hunt to prove himself. His innate friendliness and tendency to give others the benefit of the doubt cause him to be a little too trusting of strangers, leaving him vulnerable to manipulation and deceit by more dishonest characters, such as Heather and Mildew, on more than one occasion.

At one point, Hiccup shows a more unlikable, hypercompetitive side to his personality as he begins to score victories over Snotlout. Since Hiccup is unaccustomed to winning anything, he handles it poorly, letting the glory go to his head to the point where he briefly becomes as arrogant and unpleasant as Snotlout. Hiccup is also prone to overconfidence in his ability as a Prefect and Headboy, which becomes a major catalyst in his final year; his total belief that he would be able to reason with Drago causes him to run away from Hogwarts to confront the dark wizard, causing Stoick and Valka, who both witnessed firsthand the true extent of Drago's psychopathy and knew he could not be reasoned with, to chase after him. This indirectly but ultimately leads to Stoick's death at the hands of Drago when he puts Toothless under the Imperius Curse to demonstrate the superiority of his philosophy over Hiccup's. In spite of all his flaws, Hiccup is never above admitting when he is wrong and will do his best to make amends with others, showing he has a great deal of humility, and learning from his mistakes.

One extremely notable character trait Hiccup possesses is a deep sense of compassion. As a child, he is seen empathizing with his father over the loss of his mother, and even crying at the thought of an injured bird being killed in order to put it out of its misery. He later spares Toothless, and in doing so, changes his families' views on dragons forever. He was extremely uncomfortable with the thought of having to kill a dragon after graduating. Hiccup carries this quality throughout his Hogwarts years. He shows great sympathy to Snotlout at the end of a Quidditch match, giving up his own glory and fame for the sake of his cousin, though Snotlout showed no gratitude at all. He will almost never allow Toothless to use his full power against foes to prevent killing them. At one point, he begs Toothless to spare a Swedish Short-Snout that had nearly killed both of them just moments earlier. The peak of Hiccup's sympathy is displayed in his releasing Mildew from Azkaban. Upon seeing the horrible condition of Azkaban, Hiccup clearly displays pity for the old man. Unfortunately, Hiccup is occasionally naive in his sympathy, as Mildew betrayed him yet again right afterward. Still, his kind heartedness has resulted in many victories and accomplished the training of the deadliest dragons in the world.

The first person Hiccup would have been willing to kill was Alvin, his father's former friend. Originally, Hiccup was more interested in avoiding him, but as Alvin's plots hit closer and closer to everything and everyone Hiccup cares about, Hiccup seems to harden in a difficult resolution. He ordered Toothless to kill Alvin when he was threatening to toss Astrid off of a cliff. In the end of his sixth year, Hiccup and Toothless even charged Alvin in an attempt to kill him after he had captured, threatened, and deeply insulted both of them.

Overall, Hiccup is an intelligent, kind, and likable person who is naturally big-hearted and innocent. After starting to work at the Dragon Reserve where his mother worked, he and Toothless have become "adrenaline junkies", performing tricks like free-falling. He has also gone from being a shy boy to a confident young man, and "the greatest Dragon Master this world has ever seen" (as Astrid describes him to Drago Bludvist). He has a charitable and kind nature which allows him to see the good in everyone. He has especially been shown to care deeply for Toothless, his parents, Stoick and Valka, Astrid, and later their children Zephyr and Nuffink.

#crossover hogwarts au #how to train your dragon #hiccup haddock