#it's the meme where the guy has a gay flag in his hand and is sad

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 1, Side A, Match 7

propaganda under the cut!

Sasuke/Mai:

THE MOST FRIENDS TO LOVERS EVER. Mai is the MC of Ikesen which is a dating sim/otome game. Originally from the 21st century, she's accidentally time travelled to the Sengoku Era where she unknowingly rescues Oda Nobunaga from his historical death thus changing the course of history forever. She reunites with a fellow 21st century dweller Sasuke whom she'd briefly met right before the accidental time travel, who is now a ninja. Though they're on opposing sides, they're friends in all the routes as Sasuke promises to protect her and bring her back to the 21st century safely. Regardless of which route you're playing, Sasuke will always be your friend and he's the same smart yet silly goofy guy, making references to 21st century events and slang and memes which have the other warlords scratching their heads in confusion. Sasuke's route is the ultimate friends-to-lovers + slow burn + mutual pining combination, as they both gradually develop feelings for each other, yet it's also kinda frustrating (in a good way) bc Sasuke is SO clueless to her feelings and his own for a good majority of the route while Mai was down horrendous for him. The pay-off in the end is really sweet (i legit cried when sasuke finally confessed to mai lol) and spicy (ikesen is uhh a bit of a mature game), which makes the achingly slow burn really worth it. Also Sasuke's just a really nice fucking guy, like real boyfriend material, no red flags, the perfect golden retriever boyfriend frfr

Fuyupoly:

Submission 1:

they're from the winter troupe of the mankai company, and unlike the other troupes they're all adults. that said, they all have varying degrees of trauma and emotional stuntedness. it takes them some time to fully open up to each other bc they're all very cautious of each other's boundaries and don't want to cross any lines which initially led to some issues in the group's formation. over time they've learned to bridge the gap while still being mindful of hard boundaries. at one point they have a discussion about what exactly their relationship is (gay) cuz they were talking about how the other troupes have clearly defined dynamics (spring=family, summer=besties, autumn=rivals & teammates) but they don't,, and homare deadass says they're "people bound by a common destiny" which in and of itself sounds very Gay (like why are you as a man bound to other men by a common destiny), but it goes even further because homare starts spouting WEDDING VOWS: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" THIS IS A DIRECT QUOTE FROM THE GAME AND THE MC EVEN REMARKS "i can already hear wedding bells in the distance..." 

gradually they become closer, in individual sub-units based on who's paired up as co-leads for a play, and as a troupe overall. also two of its members are childhood friends who had a messy 'divorce' in their young adulthood and it took the game breaking its genre to introduce a timeloop for them to finally make up if that means anything to you. one of their troupe songs "precious to us ~bokura no kisetsu" has some pretty beautiful and fruity lines: "The many kindnesses born in me here / Never fail to breathe life into my chest / Even all the pain and bitterness / Have now become dear to me (Ah…Stay with me)", "No matter how many times our season passes / Let us keep living together / Holding our hands, without ever letting go / Let us open up the curtain of tomorrow", "There is no need for words, because once our gazes meet / Joy sparks a light in your eyes", "Our journey, may it be a brilliant one / As our breaths overlap as one"

a lot of their plays has a LOT of homoerotic tension between the two leads too. their first play has tsumugi and tasuku play angels, and it's heavily implied that tasuku's character has an unrequited crush on tsumugi's character. their third play has azuma play a vampire and tasuku play Just Some Guy and it's generally agreed in the fandom to be one of the gayest, if not THE gayest, play A3 has ever written. obviously the vampire thing is very fruity, but there's also how the vampire was longing to bite the human but was holding himself back, and when the vampire left the human in the end, the human was absolutely HEARTBROKEN over it and was swearing they would reunite one day. the stage play of this takes it even further by having the vampire embrace the human from behind and BITE his neck. the fourth play is a watered-down adaptation of Phantom of the Opera where they genderbend Christine into Chris among other things and change the relationship between Chris and the Phantom to one of friendship.... ostensibly so, because there's still a lot of homoerotic undertones in their interactions. i could go on but this should be enough of a sampling taste 

Submission 2:

the writers rlly said "let's take 2 normal guys who are childhood friends and have been into theatre since their school days and have them go through a pre-canon messy divorce, an eccentric poet with a potentially controversial haircut, an amnesiac sleepyhead who can only be awoken with marshmallows but is also somehow extremely athletic despite doing nothing but sleeping and eating marshmallows all day, a man who is so beautiful and mysterious he breaks gender, and a supposed android from a fictional south asian country, and throw them into a blender, oh and for good measure let's throw in some theatre and angst and gay and angst and gay" and the end result was marriage. i mean it took them a lot of awkward fumbling around and conflicts to get there but they got there and thats what matters. ok *technically* in-text they're all rlly good friends and kinda found family BUT they are found family via marriage papers i do not make the rules chief

Submission 3:

The reason why they are so friends-to-lovers to me is because their relationship is founded on quiet and unconditional acceptance of each other—regardless of how flawed they may be or how heavy their burdens and trauma may be. When the troupe first formed (sans Guy who was in another country at the time), they didn’t have any major clashing personalities at the very beginning and generally they were mindful of each other’s boundaries, unlike the other troupes that came before them. However, it’s BECAUSE they were too mindful of said boundaries that it was difficult for them to break down their walls and bond as a team—and there were a LOT of walls to break down, as all of them had varying degrees of emotional baggage and trauma.

In fact, it’s only three plays in that they finally truly start opening up to each other, with Azuma getting the ball rolling by opening up about the deep loneliness that haunted him ever since his childhood. It’s during this conversation that they also discuss what their relationship as a troupe is, because the other troupes have defined their relationship as a team (Spring is family, Summer is best friends, Autumn is rivals & teammates), and Homare goes on to declare that they’re “people bound by a common destiny” and goes on to spew wedding vows: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" I mean… it can’t get any more obvious than this, really. They are married.

But anyway, Tsumugi says he wants their relationship to be one where while they respect each other’s need for space, they’ll also be there for each other and share their pains and burdens—or in his words: “supporting each other when our burdens become too heavy to bear on our own”—which I think is really sweet because it carries this idea of quiet, unconditional acceptance; they don’t push each other to share more than they’re comfortable with sharing, but with whatever they ARE comfortable with sharing everyone carries the load and pain because pain is easier to bear when you’re not bearing it alone <3 

A later part of the story focuses on Hisoka, a mysterious amnesiac, being terrified of regaining his memories and facing some “sin” from his past that has led to another character, Chikage, trying to take revenge on him. When he confesses this to the rest of the Winter troupe, Homare asks, “How heavy is this sin you bear?” and Azuma suggests, “Perhaps it’s just heavy enough for the five of us to carry together.” (at this point Guy hasn’t joined yet). The stage play adapts this scene into a song called Key to Memory. The key (pun unintended) part is 1:27 where there’s a back-and-forth between Hisoka and the other Winter troupe members (sans Tasuku because he wasn’t in that particular play)

Hisoka: “I’m scared…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s okay.”

Hisoka: “My unforgivable sin…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “Let’s carry it together.”

Hisoka: “I might not be me anymore.”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s all right. We understand and we accept you, so let’s go together.”

And it ends with Hisoka singing: “I was afraid to open the door of my locked memories. But if everyone is here, I believe I can do it.”  In both the game and stage play, Hisoka fully regains his memories and reconciles with Chikage (long story). He tells Fuyupoly he can’t go into detail about his past with Chikage because it’s dangerous but he’ll tell them when the time is right, and they accept this saying that no matter what his past is, they know and love him as their Hisoka which obviously is a very sweet thing for friends to say, but it’s also very Marriage-coded to me.

Later, Guy is introduced as an android from Zahra (a fictional South Asian country) and joins the Winter troupe as a temporary member—because he’s stuck in Japan for the foreseeable future—until they find a permanent member to replace him. The other Winter members have a conversation among themselves and agree that regardless of whether he’s really an android or a human they’ll accept Guy for who he is and help him improve his acting, which again harkens back to the idea of ‘unconditional acceptance’. Eventually it’s revealed that Guy is in fact a human who has forgotten his memories of the past and his emotions. He recovers his memories all at once which shocks his system and causes him to pass out. When he wakes up in his room, he finds the rest of the Winter Troupe asleep around the room—which I believe is symbolic of their whole theme of “quiet acceptance”: they don’t want to push Guy to share beyond what he’s comfortable with, but they’re always there to listen to him and share his load if that’s what he wants. He opens up about the memories he recovered, and they don’t treat him with pity like he’s a lost child, but still extend gentle empathy and understanding. They also emphasise that it genuinely doesn’t matter to them whether he’s human or android because he’s Guy first and foremost. It’s at this point that Guy truly lets himself become part of the Winter troupe/Fuyupoly and not just as a temporary stand-in member, because he’s found a place where he’s found himself again and people who will accept who this “himself” is, whether that be an android devoid of emotions or a human brimming with vivid beautiful emotions.

[Mod note: There’s a LOT more but we’re afraid of crashing the post. I (Deli) summarised it the best I can since I’m familiar with A3, but if you want to read the full thing you can check it out on this google doc)

#friends to lovers tournament #ikemen sengoku #ikesen #a3! #a3! act! addict! actors! #fuyupoly #ikesen sasuke #ikesen mai #tsumugi tsukioka #tasuku takato #hisoka mikage #homare arisugawa #azuma yukishiro #guy nishiki #polls #tournament polls #mod deli note: when i say the 3rd fuyupoly propaganda is long #i mean it is THREE THOUSAND WORDS LONG #i thought receiving the entire tok/yo ghoul plot as propaganda was long but that was on another level akjdnajka

[wordofgodcast]

since tiktok has decided it hates gay people, i'm uploading today's tiktok to tumblr!

[ID: throughout the whole video, "In the Hall of the Mountain King" is playing in the background.

the video starts with a clip from Word of God episode 14:

Emma: wait! if you google misha collins height, one of the suggested questions under it, it gave me, is "misha collins guy"

ash: does the misha collins is guy?!

emma: the rumor come out!

the video shows a screencap of the google suggestion.

it then transitions to a clip of misha collins at a con, standing at a podium: he says "by a show of force, how many of you would consider yourselves introverts? how many extroverts? how many bisexuals?" the crowd cheers. misha then waves his hand and says "i'm all 3"

then, a news article from gaytimes.co.uk reading "Supernatural star Misha Colins comes out as bisexual" with the bi pride flag over it. following it are several memes about misha's apparent coming out.

then it cuts to misha's twitter apology where he clarifies that he is straight with the ally pride flag over it. following it are several memes about misha's coming out and subsequent re-closeting.

then, as the music reaches its first crescendo, a spongebob card reading "five months later..." appears. next is news articles first about Queen Elizabeth II's illness, and then news articles about her death. this is followed by memes about her death, including memes about her funeral, the Sanssweep, and the crab rave. then, a screenshot of misha collin's tweet about her death, and screenshots of quote replies making fun of him.

as the song climaxes, a tweet is shown of misha talking about the queen's participation in Gishwhes, and several screenshots from the video he posted of images edited of him and the queen together, in often romantic poses.

End ID.]

#sorry i don't know if having a longer id for every frame of this vid would actually be helpful #supernatural #word of god #word of godcast #spn #bisha #bishagate #queen elizabeth II #m: ash #bi misha

[gremnda]

And when I wake up, greet me with a hug A body warm and loving Show me I'm not disgusting

Just add water, let me go

#amphibia #my art #this has been in my folder for a week yall #i only had time to finish it now #school has been a killer #anyways back to tags #amphibia fanart #amphibia art #sasha waybright #Marcy wu #anne boonchuy #sashannarcy #it's the meme where the guy has a gay flag in his hand and is sad #but make it sasha and anne #i had that idea for So Long i'm so glad i finally drew it #you can use it as reaction image #i give u my premission #also i started using layer things like overlay #it's fascinating #it looks like it's supposed to be a shortcut #but then i spent half an hour trying to decide if purple overlay looks good in 80% or 40% #it was pain #am i missing any more tags #angst #amphibia angst #sending love please don't send me threatening messages<3 #i will take it literally and come for your ass before you can come for mine #have a nice day! #AMPHIBIA SPOILERS #THAT WAS WHAT I WAS FORGETTING-

[kidrat]

☕ moash?

so like,,, back when I first got into stormlight I disliked him bc a) I was 15 and didn't always have the best takes I will admit it lol and b) that was the Vibe you know and then a while later like, it was one of those things where you share a fandom opinion but you don't really interact w fandom so then when you do go in tags and see the Takes you're like oh you guys weren't... joking??? lol

like specifically I thought we were all saying 'fuck moash' partially for the meme and partially because he upset kaladin. and to be honest I did/do find Elhokar somewhat interesting!! He's a great case of shit person good character and it was kinda fun to be like 'yeah fuck moash' as shorthand like.. 'I understand and agree with the choice to kill off elhokar but I also wanted to see what Brandon would do with him and if he would grow as a person seeing as the series is based off that kind of arc and Also I am fifteen and it's fun to do the fandom thing of silly exaggerated grief for some rando getting killed off'

and then when I started to see more good and nuanced takes around Moash when I started engaging with the fandom again I did agree w those BUT I can tell you the specific moment I was like 'actually Moash Rights'. which is when someone in the tag was complaining that the moash critical group were referring to moash moving gavinor(?) out the way pre assassination as 'moash kicking a child' and i was like the who are what now. (again I thought we were being HYBERBOLIC and unnuanced FOR THE MEME hello???) and that was just so stupid that I decided to embrace moash apologism.

anyway. speaking of the moash brain rot bc I realise I've mostly talked about my own character development so far lol:

more characters should be involved in failed assassinations. (ik he succeeded but it's so funny it's the Second killing-elhokar-plan after the guy he'd been hyping up as a great killing-elhokar-candidate bailed) more characters who needed a plan b for their murders please. it's so good

I've said this before in notes somewhere but I'm infodumping <3 so <3 in the kaladin isn't a centrist au, I like to imagine it's either kaladin who kills Elhokar, or that Kaladin helps moash or guides his hand to the stabbing. Specifically I crave the moment where kaladin sees moash reconsider or feel apprehensive about the murder and realise moash isn't bloodthirsty or evil, that he has doubts just like Kaladin, and that in fact he is incredibly brave for doing what needs to be done despite not being a cold blooded killer at all. and kaladin just kind of softens. and now I'm just thinking off the top of my head but imagine if killing elhokar was an act of love. imagine if the enduring imagery of elhokar's murder was kaladin's arm on moash's back and an easing of moash' burdens??? imagine if it was beautiful and the sun set over them and elhokar went out quietly.

related. kinda the same point in fact but we needed a paragraph break SO i just reread that scene and it's kinda sexy that moash a) uses a spear to do it when the series has so much symbolism surrounding weapons and has associated spears so much w darkeyes and specifically the oppression of darkeyes! and then that b) he KICKS AWAY ELHOKAR'S SHARDBLADE!!! he really said 'i will take down the bourgeoisie with the symbol of my low status and then reject the symbol of their power, explicitly stating that by removing those in power I do not intend to replace them but to reject the entire system that gave them power' that slapped. and then ofc the bridge four salute which is more of the same

'He looked at Kaladin, then quietly made the Bridge Four salute, wrists tapped together. The spear he held dripped with Elhokar's blood' worm

something something rosharan communist flag but it's a spear instead of a sickle idk what the other thing wld be tho

also going back to that quote, the dynamic of an assassin working For someone in their mind without that person wanting it is kinda cool like to take a break from political commentary... fellas is it gay to dedicate your kills to a man who is horrified by them and renounces you completely despite how you are tied to each other? fellas is it also very outdoor housecat to do that? in conclusion uuuh catboy moash I think? kinda lost the track on that one

to speak on the ship I do think they're both gay idk if Kaladin has a specific crush on Moash (i think he had like a small one on him in WoK/WoR) but Moash definitely is attracted to Kaladin. Like i'm not necessarily invested in the relationship, tbh it takes a lot for me to ship anything But i like the dynamic and the potential attraction involved in the dynamic and the fact it's a Queer Dynamic regardless of if it's a queer *relationship* does that make sense??? it does

I am cutting myself off here for the sake of my remaining dignity send tweet

#long post #oh my god i know u literally asked but no one asked #asks #thanks ella so uh i hope u like uh i hope u enjoy [gestures at this] #moash

[lesbian-kyoru]

What do you think is each character's favorite subject in school?

tohru: not a surprise but baby girl loves home ec!! kind of has to work her butt off studying for her other classes, so she gets to enjoy herself and do something she’s naturally super good at in home ec. loves making little snacks in class for her friends and then sharing them at lunch. the sewing unit takes her fashion game to the next level. when they do a project where they take care of fake babies, she definitely ends up caring for half of the class’s infants like they’re her own. kyo is her partner and everyone teases them about it but she still has a really nice time and thinks kyo would be a great dad :’)) highest home ec grade of all time in their school

kyo: says his favorite is PE but it’s actually math. gets a 5 on the AP calc exam. tells no one but tohru, who then tells everyone and kazuma throws a party and kyo is Not Pleased. isn’t a great math tutor though because he can’t really explain how he gets his answers—he just Knows. checks tohru’s homework for her before she turns it in (read: fixes all her wrong answers when she’s not looking so he can see her huge smile when she gets a good grade back. only feels a little bit guilty). watches math tedtalks. nerd disguised as a jock

yuki: favorite subject is lit!! bullshits his way through class discussions and papers without ever actually reading the books because he’s smart and charismatic. has a premium account on sparknotes. favorite class specifically was one on ancient greek literature and epic poetry—spent the entirety of the class critiquing heteronormative readings of the iliad and taking the piss out of other students because “achilles and patroclus are clearly gay if you have eyes”

kakeru: …...i’ll be real he doesn’t like school lmao. senioritis personified. on his phone during classes constantly. laptop open playing world of warcraft or candy crush or neopets. could not tell you anything the teacher said in the last hour. doesn’t take notes because “i’ve got it all up here yun-yun…..” but doesn’t actually do half-bad on tests. only reason he does homework is because he can pretend to study with yuki while actually just flirting with him. if there’s one subject he doesn’t hate it’s history because he “thinks the fight scenes are fun” (yuki: “you mean world war 1??” “yeah it was exciting”)

uo: autoshop. hates the stereotype that just because she’s a lesbian she must like tools and machinery and automotive tech.....having said that she is a lesbian and she does like tools and machinery and automotive tech. gets a 100 on her project where she fixes a busted up motorcycle, and now she has two motorcycles. all the boys in the class call her senpai and worship the ground she walks on. smells faintly like motor oil all the time but she Absolutely makes it work

hana: creative writing. school is not her thing but she thrives in creative writing because her creativity is 100/10 and her stories are absolutely off the walls. excels in writing spooky yet also homoerotic ghost stories in particular. reads them aloud in class with the lights turned off and a flashlight illuminating her face. has made students cry out of fear. shigure beta-reads her writing. likes to subtly imply that her stories actually happened to fuck with kyo. it works

momiji: band/orchestra!! all the older students lose their minds over how well he can play. first chair violinist from day one. has a solo in every concert; tohru sits front row and films them, always cries. he’s the life of the party at Band Camp(™). even the grumpy bass clarinetists like him. doesn’t get in trouble when he talks waaaaay too much during rehearsal because the teacher loves him

haru: mr space cadet himself isn’t much of a science guy but LOVES astronomy. gets Ds on pretty much every test but he doesn’t care because his mind is expanding. buys a super nice telescope so he can look at constellations at 3 in the morning. develops very specific opinions about each planet. stans the moon. gets really into sleeping at last’s astronomy-themed album. becomes that guy whose personality is “i like space” until the class is over and then he never talks about it again

rin: art! she takes several art classes throughout high school. really loves drawing and painting, but also really likes doing ceramics projects because she likes working with her hands :’)) does a watercolor portrait for tohru as a graduation gift but gets really flustered when tohru sobs into her arms over how beautiful it is. also secretly likes doing little doodles of her and haru—he sees them once in her sketchbook and will never let her live it down

kagura: says her favorite is PE and it actually is PE. goes ham for capture the flag, tends to play too rough when capturing and gets taken out of the game. only person who is actually good at volleyball so she is constantly spiking, setting, and diving for the ball all in the same game, while the rest of her team just kind of fumbles around and tries to stay out of her way. gets first place every time they run the mile even though it’s definitely not a competition. definitely knows her mile time even though it is not a timed activity

hiro: this kid screams history nerd, but like Male History Nerd with a niche interest in military history and very specific opinions about how *insert historical figure* wasn’t actually all that bad. gets his ass handed to him in class discussions on the daily but won’t admit it. is genuinely really smart and has Better Opinions by the time he graduates, so he starts using his history nerd powers For Good as an adult—as in, arguing about inaccurate historical memes on facebook in his free time

kisa: choir. singing stresses her out, but she’s figured out that she can just mouth the words and no one can tell that she’s not actually singing! loves being in the group and hearing the beautiful music around her :’)) everyone is in awe of how cute she is in her lil choir robe. tohru comes to all of kisa’s concerts as well and films them from the front row, also while crying

machi: woodshop. gets sawdust on her clothes and loves the smell. obsessed with digging through piles of splintering and warped scrap wood. loses her damn mind when she gets to use the jigsaw. really enjoys making like…misshapen birdhouses and crooked tables, but woodshop is mostly participation grades anyway so her teacher gives her A’s on all of her grotesque wood creations. she is at peace and is One with the Wood. doesn’t wear safety goggles while chopping wood because she likes Risk

kimi: loves speech & drama. emphasis on the drama. it’s a chance to talk for a long time and everyone has to look at her and listen to her or else they’ll fail!! which is how she likes it. goes three minutes over for every speech but the teacher can’t get her to pause long enough to stop her. comes to auditions in a full professionally-made costume. knows her lines and everyone else’s

nao: AP statistics on the pre-accounting track. has known he wants to be an accountant since he was in diapers. does slightly below average in the class. still studies accounting in college because it’s too big a part of his personality to quit at this point. becomes an accountant. never quite feels fulfilled

#these are based on US hs because i didnt want to fuck up jpn hs but also i was homeschooled so i mightve fucked up US hs anyway skdjsjjsjs #fruits basket #furuba #tohru honda #kyo sohma #yuki sohma #kakeru manabe #kyoru #yukeru #the kyoru and yukeru is not subtle lmao #arisa uotani #saki hanajima #momiji sohma #hatsuharu sohma #rin sohma #kagura sohma #hiro sohma #kisa sohma #machi kuragi #kimi toudou #naohito sakuragi #fruits basket headcanon #ask #anon #long post #ty for the ask 👁👄👁 #fruits basket spoilers #tagging just in case idk #why is this like the length of an essay fucking kill me #zoe.txt

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 20

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19

Happy New Year!!!!!! Here’s a party and a hot guy loving on you - and you don’t even have to leave your home ;)

I haven’t been to many therapist offices after I started high school. This one was free, on student-life. Reproduced images of the sea were comforting enough, but it was the dreary stained carpet that reminded me where I was. 

“Do you think they’re related to the night you were assaulted?” 

“Yes. But I don’t know how to get rid of them. I lose sleep and then when I do sleep, I have these nightmares and I wake up more restless than if I’d just stayed up all night.” 

 “Hm. And how do you feel about Harry?” 

 “Harry?” 

 She nodded. “Yes, the boy in your dreams.” Her French manicured nails squeezed the top of her clipboard.

 “That’s not an easy question.” 

 “Try.” 

 I sighed. “Okay…” The painted seagull in her office looked like an on-clearance print at TJ Maxx, and suddenly I wished I’d called my mother for her own version of therapy instead. Bargain shopping. “I think I hate him. But then I know I don’t. But then… I don’t necessarily like him either.” 

 “Do you love him?” 

I laughed. “No, I don’t love him.”

 “Why do you laugh?”

 “I said I almost hated him and you ask me if I love him!” But my voice was a little too loud. The question stayed with me, stirring in my mind. “I think I’d know if I loved him.” 

 “Love looks different to different people. Finding a healthy version of love for yourself and your partner is where things can go awry. Or right.” 

 I remembered Harry and I talking at Alta about Madame Bovary, and how I’d told him that people love to the best of their abilities, from what they’ve learnt by their circumstances. Silence weighed in the room, and I knew she was waiting for me to elaborate on my feelings. Bleh.

 “I don’t know,” I finally said. “But if this is what love looks like to him… We’re not even technically dating so this question doesn’t even apply!” I laughed again. “But then… even if we were, then...  it’s not enough.” 

 “And what would be enough for you?”

 “Stability.” 

 “And do you think this is possible with him?” 

 “Umm…” Zayn’s voice popped in my head - Harry was a magnet for infamy - and I laughed. I laughed, and I laughed...“No.”

 “And why is that?” 

 “Because he self-sabotages. And he says things he doesn’t mean.” 

 “Such as...?”

 A puff of breath left my lips. “Like last night, he said I didn’t have a life. And then he was comparing me to another girl. Viv. She’s like his… sister, basically. She grew up with him. But… he got really defensive and said at least she fucks me. But the fact that he said I don’t have a life?? A LIFE?? I mean shit, it’s not my fault he’s infiltrated my dreams is it?” 

 She shook her head. “It’s very important for you not to blame yourself. Show yourself the same kindness you’d show your friends. Renny, for example.” 

 Be kind to yourself. 

 I nodded. Those were the words my mother would say whenever I’d critique myself. Just like all those times before, the words registered, but it didn’t change anything about the frustration I felt. I was the one dumb enough to let him in. I’d let myself be dragged into him, even with every red flag hitting me in the face. I was collecting them for a meme bouquet at this point!

 “Do you believe him?” she asked. 

 It took me a minute to hear her. 

 “The words he said to you,” she said. “That you don’t have a life.” 

 A timer beeped on her phone. She muted it. “I’d like you to write out what you want in your life for next time. Not what anybody else wants. But what Y/N wants. When you see it written out, no matter how silly it seems, having concrete answers might help.”

 --------------

 I was staring at my notes page, trying to think of what I wanted. I didn’t exactly have the chance to ask her what she meant by that. Did she mean career goals? Education goals? Relationship goals? What did this have to do with ending my nightmares? 

 A text at the top of my phone distracted me from the blank page. 

 Kiki: “Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about you. Get your hands on the special airhead pills from Harry’s and bring them to the DG Pretty Please Party next week. On the DL obvi.”  

Viv chimed in on the group chat. “Congrats bitch! It’ll be fun for all of us.” She included the devil emoji. 

 This is what I got for stalling up until the last minute to walk into work. The practice was now a blatant reminder that Harry was out of my life and it didn’t help whenever I saw Lionel. It felt weird that I was seeing his dad more than him. Wrong, even. 

 Voices carried through the lot along with the clicking of heels. I turned my head. 

 Boss Lady Samantha was headed towards the elevator. 

 Shit, Y/N. Shit shit shit.

 I got out, quietly closing the door. Better to walk with my boss than walk in late after her, right? Her red hair was let down today, ringlet curls in full effect. I could meet her at the elevator before it arrived.

 But right when I was about to shout out hold the elevator Lionel walked right behind her. And I mean RIGHT behind her - there was hardly room for a Bible between them. 

 I hid behind my car, unsure if I was supposed to be seeing this. 

 Their voices were too low to hear, but his arm lingered at her lower back before the elevator opened. She got in. Alone. Lionel looked over his shoulder and I ducked further. 

 Through Grandpa’s windows, I saw the elevator door close. Lionel waved goodbye to Samantha and he pressed the button again. 

 Before chickening out, my shoulders straightened. I shouldn’t have to be the one hiding. I jogged to make it. His brows shot up in surprise as he held the elevator for me. The kindness I’d gotten used to seeing in his eyes looked hesitant this time. 

 “A little late today?” he asked, as soon as I’d made it in. 

 I avoided his eyes, nodded.  It was a quiet elevator ride. 

 ------------

 My family’s house was a ten minute drive from the practice. Enough drive time to sit on what I’d seen outside Coast Shores Medicine. It could’ve been friendly. I didn’t have to do anything about this. But in my bones, I knew that friendly isn’t what I’d seen. Lionel avoided me the rest of the day, assigning me to print out billing statements. I hadn’t seen them make out or anything, but there was a certain intimacy I couldn’t write off right away. Did Mrs. de Saude know about his close work relationships? Did Harry? 

 The sickening uneasiness dissipated when I heard my parent’s Home Improvement HGTV hour. Dad was already passed out on the couch, snoring at a whopping 8 PM when I walked through the door. Ignoring Mom’s tutting of “they keep you too late,” we went to my bedroom. 

 “Pick the nude ones,” Mom said, adjusting the spectacles she only pulled out on rare occasions (magazine reading and shoe selections). “It makes your legs look longer.” It looked like there was something more she wanted to say. 

 I adjusted them in the mirror, wearing the blush dress I’d bought for my aunt’s beach wedding almost a year prior. It’d never been worn. Her Spanish fiancé she’d met three months prior stole her TV set and ran off with his gay lover a week before. As I stood, the dress just barely touched the floor. Simple, really, but the way the thin straps exposed my chest rendered it elegant. I felt like I needed a long cigarette and fur coat to make it complete.  

 Without context, Mother suddenly burst into an annoyed huff. 

 “You okay?” I asked.

 “Hm?” Her lashes fluttered as if she hadn’t realized she’d made a noise. “Oh, yes. I’m fine. Your father just took another one of those sleeping pills. You should never get too dependent on medication, Y/N. Drink warm milk or something.”

 “Mom.”

 “I’m serious!” Her stony face certainly wasn’t comical. 

 “I know.”

 She looked me over in the dress again and caught herself, pulling me in for a rushed hug. “I’m sorry,” she breathed. She rocked me a little. “It’s just been a little rough this week.” She squeezed me tighter, then let me go. All negative energy shoved into a box that’d spring open when we all least expected it. “Have a good night tonight. Say hello to Harry for me!”

 When I walked to the car she threw out, “And tell him next time he can ask you with a Cartier ring! HA! I’m joking!! ... Kind of!!!” 

 I smiled, waving to her at the gate as I got into my Grandpa mobile. I didn’t have the heart to tell her Golden Boy wasn’t my date.  

 ---------

There were two cops for every solo cup I could see littered on the ground. They patrolled the streets, but the frat house seemed unphased and restored to its former glory as I walked with Andre. Club music pounded beyond the doors, practically shaking the windows. Girls huddled up outside, holding each other’s hair back and trying to block anyone’s view from the bile, as the guys snickered over their shoulders and some pretended not to see. But the cops weren’t here to reprimand for underage drinking and public intoxication tonight. They were on watch. Stationed around the perimeter of the house and on either end of the street. 

 They were waiting for something else. For somebody else. 

 Andre seemed oblivious, practically skipping past them he was so excited. I, on the other hand, was already limping from the nude pumps. 

 “Wanna switch shoes?” he called back. 

 “Don’t make a deal you aren’t willing to keep,” I smiled, quirking a brow. “The nude would actually match your navy suit…”

 He’d already walked on, fist bumping the bouncer who raised up a professional-grade camera and snapped a photo of us. When my eyes recovered from the flash, I spotted Officer Ramirez from the uniforms just beyond the frat’s ramshackle fence. He was already watching me. He raised two fingers above his brow and I nodded, curtly, even though I wanted to shrink inside myself. I hadn’t had the time to think about what I would say if he contacted me again, or if I should be the one to reach out to him.

 Andre led me inside, and for once, I was glad I couldn’t hear my own thoughts. It raised ten degrees just from stepping inside. The boys were in Bond suits, but most had abandoned their jackets wherever they could - on the banister, the couch beneath the staircase, or the entrance hall. The girls had dressed up, too. This was the most covered up I think I’d seen some of them, though others still opted for above-the-knee slips.

 “Oi, where’s your drink?!” Niall’s familiar voice shouted above the bass.

 He pulled Andre into a side hug before we reached the dancefloor. When he saw me, Niall practically fell over. 

 “Y/N! What’re you doing here?” He spluttered, whiskey in his breath. The knot of his tie was already to his chest, but he loosened it even more. He looked over his shoulder, then back to me. “Renny’s just gone to the bathroom.” 

 “She’s my date,” Andre stepped in, placing an arm around my shoulder. It was completely platonic but Niall’s face went to stone. 

 Suddenly it cracked, and he laughed, running a hand over his stubbly chin. “Oh, shit.” He laughed again. “Shit!” 

 Andre smiled, unaware of anything else besides the fact that Niall must be proud he showed up with a date. He patted Niall’s shoulder. “We’re going to see the big bro, I’ll find you later.” Andre nodded his head for me to follow, leaving Niall cackling to himself in the entranceway.

 “Niall’s THE. MAN,” he put his hands up for emphasis. “He’s my favorite in the house besides my big. We gotta say hi, then you can run off. Oh, Renny’s here too!” He squeezed my shoulders as if to excite me, as if she’d be the reason I’d stay. Loved the girl, but I knew she’d be back on top of Niall five minutes after she was out. I just didn’t want to have to watch. 

 I wrung my hands together, growing nervous. I knew the reason Niall had reacted that way was because Harry was going to be here. I knew this coming into it. But I’d been expecting him to ignore me the entire night. With Niall’s reaction, I wasn’t so sure anymore. What had Harry told Niall?

 Someone sloshed their beer on me as I passed, and I turned sour, rolling my eyes as Andre pushed us forward. I picked up the pace before he could notice I’d stopped and wiped the glare off my face. Or, tried. I probably just looked constipated now. 

 WHY WAS HIDING EMOTION SO HARD?? 

 I felt bad feeling so annoyed. Andre was excited. I should be excited, right? Sloshed beer and sweaty bodies came with the territory. Though I’d forgotten how humid it got in here. Hell and Florida were probably cooler. I picked up the ends of my dress, hoping for some sort of ventilation to reach parts of me that were on the verge of overheating. 

 The coffee tables and couches had been moved from the center of the living room to the fringes beneath the stairwell to make designated smoking and dancing sections. I could’ve stayed on the outside of the dance crowd. Hell, I could’ve joined the spaced-out smokers on the couch. But I didn’t. I followed Andre to the middle of the dance floor. I could barely see above the tops of people’s heads until we reached a bit of a clearing. And by clearing, I meant the sweaty dancers in front of us who made a break for freedom and gave us about ten seconds of space before other bodies rushed to fill it. 

 I felt him before I saw him. A tiny prick of consciousness that directed my gaze. And Andre’s finger.

 “AYYYY!!!!!” Andre pointed to the DJ booth, waving his hands as he hollered.

 Even with the rocking vibration of the bass that chattered my teeth, each nerve in my body went alert. Harry stood, flashing a white smile to the crowd before downing the rest of whatever potion was in his cup. I hated how my stomach clenched just by seeing him. He saw Andre and his smile grew, grabbing the mic. I was still unnoticed, hidden by dim lighting and nameless peers.

 “Who’s ready for us to win tomorrow!?” His voice was low, demanding. It was a question for the crowd, but he was looking at Andre. I could sense the intensity even there, and it was then I realized it couldn’t be just me who feels so vulnerable around Harry. Each person he traps in his gaze stays there, until he lets them go. 

 The house erupted in cheers, but I was locked in place. The suit he was wearing looked similar to the one from the Halloween gala, and every bit of him looked just as stunning. His beautiful body swayed on the makeshift stage. 

 “Then let’s see you jump in-” His hand held up 5, 4, 3, 2… He spun another song and the crowd sprung from the floor before crashing back down. They jumped to the beat he made. A modern-day puppet master. 

 Andre wrapped an arm around me as he jumped. So I did, too. 

 “That’s my big!!” he yelled, mid-air.

 “WHAT??”

 He pointed to the DJ booth, but there was no one there besides Harry. 

 “.... HARRY??! HARRY’S YOUR- your…” I stopped jumping the same second Harry saw us together. It’s funny. It takes only a second to flip a dime on its head. His party boy mask dropped in an instant. The low lighting turned his eyes black, but they couldn’t conceal the daggers he shot straight at me.

 “I have to use the bathroom,” I muttered. 

 Andre nodded. “S’UP THE STAIRS!” He found a friend nearby and latched on to him instead. 

 The small (okay, medium) part of me filled with nothing but Petty™ wanted Harry to see me with his little. But another part of me couldn’t handle his judgmental glare. Somehow, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want him to think I’d come here tonight to make him jealous. That I was so obsessed with him I’d found another in to the frat. I didn’t want him to think he controlled any part of my heart. What did it say that I ran away at first sight, though?

 I’d already done it. It didn’t matter. Either way, I didn’t win.

 I raced upstairs, weaving my way between couples sitting on the stairs, hoping that the line for the restroom was really long and Renny hadn’t already left. It was, and she was next in line. 

 “Oh my God, what are you doing here?!” she screeched, arms out and eyes squinted until I could no longer see her pupil. 

 “Why do people keep asking me that.” 

 She pulled me into an extra-long, extra-tight Renny hug. “Love yousoooomuch,” she rushed. Her breath smelled like Niall as she pulled away. She lifted the cup to my lips and I shook my head. She frowned. 

 “I talked with Niall,” she said. “He says Harry’s just going” - she hiccupped - “through a lot right now. S’best to leave him alone.” 

 The other girls in line perked up at the mention of his name, subconsciously leaning closer. I huffed. “Trust me. I am.” 

 When three girls stumbled out of the only bathroom stall, Renny rushed in. “Thank God I was about to pee on the carpet.” She tried tugging me in with her, but my eye was on the end of the hall. And the stupid DG pretty please.

 “I’ll be back,” I muttered, squeezing her hand. 

 “Nooooo,” she drawled. 

 I squished her cheeks, checked her pupils. She didn’t need me to hold her hair back this time. I gave her cheek a lil slap.

 “I’ll go with you next time you have to go. Which will be in like... twenty minutes. You broke the seal rookie!” I teased. 

 I didn’t even bother looking over the railing at the party below to see if he was watching me. I still had my DG task and a nonrefundable deposit to think about. I didn’t think I’d get many chances to be in this house again unless I swindled Andre or Niall into letting me in. But that would require an explanation, and I wasn’t sure I could tell them that. 

 Forget explanations. I needed to do it now. Lots of noise. Tons of distractions. I’d just think of it as… borrowing?

 His door was locked and I groaned, kicking it and leaving a smudge beside all the others. I reached for a bobby pin in my purse and put it to work. I’d done it before in his bedroom, I could do it again here. The curve of the hallway protected me from onlookers waiting in line in the bathroom. Downstairs was a mixed bag. People could probably see through the railings running along the top floor. 

 Not that they’d think to look. 

 My knees were starting to hurt by the time I heard it click. I crept in, and for some reason, I expected his room to look different. But it was still the same. Dusty desk across from a queen-sized bed. Only one photograph atop his bedside mantle. And it didn’t smell like sweaty soccer clothes, but clean. With hints of a woodland spice and books. It felt like eons had passed since I was first here, undressing him like the drunken baby he’d been. As an act of betrayal, my body rushed at the thought of how his fingers had looped around my belt loops, tugging me closer. I swallowed, the image of his tightened pants expanding in my head. He’d almost been hard, then. 

 It was then, at that moment, that I decided that the one sip of alcohol I’d had must have been spiked with SOMETHING because I would NOT be that girl. I would NOT. I reFUSED TO LET MYSELF-

 Seconds later, my fingertips grazed his soft gray sheets. He’d been sprawled out right about here, and the rush of seeing unseen skin on Harry had been too intoxicating an offer to refuse. The ghost of that rush flowed through me again as my memory played it over like a movie. Close-ups and panning shots - Down his toned chest to tattoos speckled along tan skin, tattoos that had been seemingly doodles, but now held much more meaning now that I knew of his history with the ocean. For his sister. My body leant down before I knew what I was doing, and I inhaled. The lingering aroma of his body chemistry altering his cologne: musky, a little spice, and warmth.

 Even if every ounce of me wanted to dislike him, the legitimate biology behind my body responded to a chemistry I couldn’t control. 

 “What are you doing?”

 He caught me on my knees, with one hand clutched in the sheets.

 Fuckity FUCK-

 He could whip out PSYCHO magazine informing people of highly-dangerous murderers with my mugshot plastered across the cover - and I’d believe him in that moment. Oh my gosh. Omgomgomg. He didn’t say what I expected him to say when he swayed in, though. 

 “Andre. Really?” He laughed to himself, but it was cold. “Fucking” - he stumbled, leaning on the desk chair to catch himself- “really?” 

 It wasn’t the alcohol that’d put him on edge. I’d seen him handle liquor before, but this time he looked… different. I stood up, realizing his eyes were racking down my dress. I crept towards him, hoping to make it past the door. Not because I was scared of him. But because I was mortified. I’d just looked like an absolute fucking psychopath AND I’d snuck into his bedroom. Maybe I could distract him. Maybe he was too drunk to ask me-

 “What’re you doing here?”

 “What are we… all doing here? At parties?”

 “…in my room,” he clarified.

 Welp. My philosophical question fell flat. Wouldn’t be the first time.

 I waltzed past him, tight-lipped. In defense of my dignity, I still didn’t owe him anything. Not after how he’d treated me. 

 “Hey,” his arm jutted out, blocking my way. His brows crossed as he turned to a petulant boy. “S’rude to not answer.” 

 My blood boiled. “You are not about to give me a lesson on how bad it is to ignore people right now. Nor on being rude.” 

 “Can give you another one.” 

 He reached for me, but I stepped back, somewhat living in the hurt that flashed in his eyes at my rejection. 

 “You’re not leaving.” But his demand sounded like a plead. 

 “Thought you didn’t want me around you,” I scoffed, tearing past him. “Just because you’re drunk or high or whatever the fuck it is you are right now, doesn’t mean you can just… get a free pass! For a week! A whole week of awful-” I turned quickly, too frustrated to find the words. I took a step towards the door but- 

 “Y/N.” He was right behind me. His breath warmed the nape of my neck, the delicate hairs standing on end. No matter how much of an absolute mess he was, my body didn’t know better. I could practically feel him behind me, his presence radiating an alarm that blared through my veins. I wanted him. Badly. He trailed a finger down my arm, and his hand brushed against my own against my side. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

 His fingers gingerly interlaced with mine, turning me around. 

 Something wet was on my cheek. I touched it, quickly rubbing it away in horror. Why were tears running down my face?! What unfair cruelty was this!? He saw my tears and leant down, suddenly defeated, pulling my body with him.

 “Why did’ya ever want me hm?” His nose went along my jaw. Full lips pressed against the base turned my legs weak. There was an underlying desperation to his words though, a prayer in his kiss. But my thoughts were turning anything but holy. 

 “Who says I did…” I wanted to pull away, ask him why he’d used past tense or why he’d completely ignored me this past week, but I was frozen by the softness of his hands. Self-respect was surely slipping away each moment I lingered. I could literally see Jane Austen parting the heavens and sticking her angelic head through Harry’s room to shame me with a glare. I do all this mental work to try and figure this guy out and… for what? I should be waltzing out that door, declaring I’d never talk to him again. I should give up messy and confused and pursue my own sanity. But the air only ever turned electric with him, in all his messiness, in all this confusion… and each time the spark appeared, it pushed us closer together until he was here, like this, soft hands gently running along my lower back, skilled fingertips feeling the dress fall slightly inwards at my waist, tracing a map of uncharted waters… 

 “You’re not thinking straight,” I breathed. And that went for both of us. 

 “Au contraire, I’m thinking clearer than I ever ‘ave.” There was a swirling madness shining through, but he bat his eyes and it was veiled again, vanished beneath the dark surface. He tilted his head, appraising my body, noticing my legs were no longer tensed to run, but in apprehension for another reason completely. A smirk settled in. “Why do you still want me?” he demanded, pulling me against him towards the bed.

 “Arrogant ass,” I sniped, but I landed on him anyway. His fingers tightened around my waist, a hand snaking up behind to entwine with my hair. I felt him harden beneath me as he pulled my head to the side, just the right amount of rough. But he stalled over vulnerable skin, lips ghosting featherlight up to my ear. He let out a soft breath and I clenched in anticipation. For once, I had no thoughts. “You should be with me,” he breathed. “Should be mine.” His voice grew frustrated and he practically growled, lips kissing my neck, steady, before they started to suck in a rhythm. The shock of the sensation masked the shock from his words and my back arched, a spider’s shiver crawling down my spine. He stopped suddenly, shooting back like he’d been shocked. His grip softened ‘round the nape of my neck, and he looked so… confused. “Can’t mark you again,” he noted, despondent. But then the corners of his lips twitched up in a smirk. “Least where it’s visible.” My breath caught. His black ink eyes showed the slightest ring of green. I don’t remember lifting my hand, but fingers trailed along dark circles. These were a new development. I shook my head lightly. Something was wrong. This was wrong. I leant in, resting my head against his. “Harry-” but his lips cut me off before I could mention it. 

 I felt like I’d been feeling his lips everywhere but my own. They were eager, but kept pace, switching it up just when I was getting comfortable, slowing to make me feel the soft fullness of raspberry-pink lips. They were pillows, and clouds, and everything else soft and wonderful that I’d want to feel forever. He slipped in his tongue, deepening the kiss, and I ground my body against him, using his shoulders as leverage. 

 This wasn’t me. But I didn’t care enough to think about ‘who I was’ anymore. What did I want? 

 I felt him pulse between my legs. 

 “Harry,” I bit my lip, and I knew then. I’ve been wanting more, I’ll always want more. I was more aware than ever of an emptiness he could fill. 

 “Been hard ever since I saw you bouncing in that dress,” he said gruffly. “With fucking Andr- ahh...fuck.” I rocked my hips against him in spite, putting a hand over his mouth to shut him up. 

 But his head jutted back and came forward again. He looked at me through hooded eyes, and just like that I was sedated by his gaze, my body pausing. He looked like he was about to scold me. “Do it again.” His voice was low. I stalled, looking at the way his lips barely parted. “Don’t be shy now, Y/N.” My hips replied on command, but rebelliously, slowly, feeling the length of him run between the thin underwear that’d cocooned itself against my ridges and folds. I ran my hips back down against his thigh. “Fu-uhck-” He jutted his hips up, turning something wicked when I moaned. The friction from the dress and pressure from my own body rocking against Harry built a tightly coiled knot I wanted desperately to release. And then we were kissing again. Fervent. Eager. A skilled tongue slipping in to dance with my own. He was rock hard against me. I could feel the full outline pressed tight against his slacks now, creating my own mental map. My hands wrapped in his hair, and I pulled, relaxing our pace, rutting myself up with purpose to rotate in a circle at his clothed tip. The noise from his throat wasn’t human, and I felt heavy and light all at the same time when his thumb dug into my chin just under my lower lip. 

 “Wanna help you,” he rumbled. “Will you let me? Won’t you do that for me?” 

 I nodded, wordlessly, and with both hands tight on my hips, he tugged us further back until he was against the pillows, and me, repositioned above him. He pulled us down and we built a rhythm against his thigh, the determination in his stitched brow as he did half the work making it even sexier. He was almost needier than me. There was an urgency to his strong hands as they hiked up my dress, fingertips dancing around and just beneath the band of my underwear. He didn’t pull it off, just gently pushed my hips up and down, then harder, faster, to the damp patch already on his slacks. I was buzzing, every inch of me, the wound coil growing bigger, tighter, the build of release making my heart race. He stared at me as we moved together.

 “Tha’s it. So good at this,” he mumbled. “So beautiful.” 

 My breath caught, and his wide eyes watched wondrously as I moved frenzied above him. His chest rose, bits of tattoo spilling past the white button-down collar. My hand clutched his shirt as I felt myself begin to peak. This was as intimate as I’ve been with someone, and the pressure of being seen through his eyes like this was a lot of pressure. I didn’t want to think about how many other girls had been in this position before. What he spoke to them, how they looked, what they’ve done, or how recently they’d done it. His hand cupped my face and brought me down, lips claiming me to the point of bruising and silencing voiceless thoughts. The pull of his lips, and the sturdiness of his thigh made me whimper. My swollen bud hit his clothed cock with each surge upwards, his hands guiding me, making sure my breath hitched each time. And each time, I’d feel him tense. Again, and again, just knowing his thick hard cock was against me, right against me, almost…

 “Almost… Harry…” 

 “Y/N,” he rasped. I felt his hot gaze as I shuddered above him. He kissed me, slow, swallowing another whimper as a current of electricity ran from the crown of my head to my toes. His hands helped me ride out my high, slowly coming to a halt. 

 He opened his arms, letting me cuddle up against his chest. Silence stretched on over quiet breathing. “Been waiting a long time for that,” he finally mumbled. I quirked an eye open, realizing he’d been watching me. I almost didn’t recognize his eyes. For once, they seemed sated. Unhaunted. The clouds had seemed, for a moment, to have parted. “To see you cummm.” He hummed the last word, leaning down and nuzzling the nook of my neck. Still nuzzling, he quirked half his face to look at me. We shared a long kiss, then a shorter one to my forehead. “You’re magnificent.” 

 Though I hadn’t removed a stitch of clothing, I hadn’t felt more naked. And for all the times I’d felt embarrassed around Harry, at least in this moment, he made me feel comfortable about what we’d just done. We lay there, my scent now mingling with the rest of his in the room. I still felt him hard beneath my legs that were strewn across his lap, and I wondered if it was … painful. He stirred, placing one hand behind his head, the other wrapped around me. 

 I traced shapes into his chest. He hummed, smiling softly. It was his boyish smile. The one I’d hardly seen, the one that you want to wrap up and cuddle and protect from the world to keep this one second of pure happiness intact. I pecked the corner of his mouth and his smile broke, squeezing my side. “Thank you,” he mumbled. I checked to make sure his eyes were still closed when I looked down at the black slacks. Since I finished, he should, too. I swallowed nervously as my fingers traced lower, down the button down as I tried to remember the porn Renny and I had watched together one late summer night. His eyelashes fluttered open, and he watched me, curiously, darkly, until I stopped at the tip of his pants. I slipped my fingers beneath the belt, just barely feeling the coarseness of hair before he took my wrist in his hand. He practically hissed and I stilled, not noticing I was holding my breath. I couldn’t possibly be doing this wrong…

 His index finger stroked the top of my hand, and I relaxed. 

 He looked at me gently. “Tonight was for you. S’all I wanted.” His touch was just as gentle, and he placed his thumb between my lips, running over them gently. I didn’t want him to see me as some pure untouched thing he should be scared to do anything with. My lips parted as seductively as I could make them appear, and I moved to let his finger in my mouth, but he cheekily closed my lips instead. 

 He stroked my cheek, almost giggling at my attempt. “This just isn’t how I picture it happening.” 

 The way his eyes were memorizing my lips told me he’d thought about this before, but I didn’t miss that he said how, and not where. Muffled EDC music vibrated his door, and faraway voices travelled through his open window from the yard below. The cops were waiting there, too. Was that the situation he was referring to? 

 “You deserve a lot, Y/N.” 

 I heard the hesitancy in his voice, some unforeseen disappointment he wouldn’t just spell out for me. “What’re you saying.” 

 “Just that there’s few things I want t’be sober for these days.”

 The thought hit my stomach like the sharpened blade of a knife, and it hurt worse than any wound from my nightmares. “Why would you say something like that?” I demanded.

 “Because it’s true.” His eyes searched mine, and I saw the sadness pulling him in. Like the tumultuous water of the middle of the ocean spirally inwards into itself. A treacherous water hole that’d carry you into its deepest abyss.

 I shook my head as if to find a way out, as if that would clear away what I was seeing. “I never… know what’s going on with you,” I admitted. I thought to the interaction with Lionel and Samantha. “Is home life really that bad?” 

 “What home?” He huffed when I looked at him. “M’serious. I feel more alone when I walk in there than I do when I’m here. And nobody even fucking knows me here.” 

 “Everyone knows you.” 

 “You’re smarter than that, Y/N.” 

 “What’d you take tonight, hm?” I cooed. My hand traced the dark circles under his eyes, and he leant against my touch before looking to the window, still allowing me to touch him. No doubt from whatever stimulant or depressant he’d taken, his words had been more candid than ever before. 

 “A cocktail of sorts. Will fucking regret it in the mornin’. Probably.” 

 He looked back to me, and I didn’t have time to wipe the concern from my face. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter,” he stated.

 He really believed it when he said it, and the way there didn’t seem to be enough energy left in him made me settle back in his arms with a frown. Because it did matter. It mattered a lot. A few moments later, he squeezed my sides. “You didn’t answer my question,” he mumbled. 

 “What question?” 

 He waited until I looked up at him, and even then he was hesitant. His voice was quiet when he spoke, intimate, so if even if someone was standing at the foot of the bed they couldn’t hear what he was about to ask. 

 “Why do you want me, Y/N?” 

 The vulnerable question hung in the air. And though it was presumptuous of him to ask, he wasn’t wrong. His eyes read me like a book he’d read a hundred times over. He saw me. I swallowed, my brain and heart at an all-out war. Unfortunately for me, they captured my tongue in a stale-mate. “I don’t know what I want.”

 And it was true. The dilemma was the following:

The only thing my body wanted was him. 

But my brain didn’t know if that’s what I should be     wanting anymore.  

And my heart was left in the middle of them both, not     sure what it was feeling. 

 I felt him shrug. “I get it. I have so many opinions shouting at me in my head right now. About soccer, my fucked family, about” - he threw his hands between us.  

 After Niall had greeted me at the door, I was sure Harry had talked about us in some capacity. But how many people had opinions on our relationship? “Let me guess. Viv shares her opinion about us.” 

 “I don’t listen to hers.” 

 “But hey, at least she fucks you right.” 

 He sucked in a breath, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean that.” 

 “But it’s true, right? So no need to apologize.” 

 The room froze over. Just the thought of her whispering in his ear was enough to trigger an entire week’s worth of pent-up animosity. 

 “So maybe people are confused why Viv and I aren’t together but I couldn’t give a fuck about what they think. I fucking hate that we’re even talking about her right now.”

 “What do they say?” 

 He rolled his eyes, hurriedly slanting his voice, “Viv’s gorgeous mate, she clearly wants you. What the fuck are you doing now?” 

 I flinched. He noticed. “Look, I seriously hate talking about this. Can we talk about the fact that I didn’t invite anyone tonight?” 

 “Aw, was Viv busy?”

 “Alright, stop.” 

 A chill shot down my spine at the rejection. As much as I wanted to appreciate the fact he didn’t invite anyone, it didn’t help. This wasn’t helping at all. “I’m sorry if I want to talk about your relationships that directly affect me,” I said, rolling out of his arms.

 “Y/N, please. It’s not like that.” His voice was tired, pleading, coaxing me to forget. 

 “But why are you like this? Why did you just say what you did to me?”

 “You asked me-”

 “It was very belittling.” I changed my voice to a dopey British accent, “Viv’s gorgeous what the fuck are you doing with Y/N?” I ignored his scowl. “Really, thanks for the best compliment of the night.” I pushed against his chest, annoyed. “And why are you being like this now? All cuddly and-”

 “It’s not one-sided.” 

 I felt my cheeks heat. “Not tonight. But it’s one-sided any other time.”   

 “S’that what you really think of me?” He pulled me closer, and I fought the urge to twist away. His forehead pressed into my hair. “Firstly, you’re fucking beautiful Y/N. You have to know this. And you have to know you’re important to me. And secondly…”

 “Thirdly,” I corrected.

 His eyes turned somber. “They’re watching,” he mumbled, pleading. “This is hard for me, too.” 

 The gang, the cops, both, whichever it was, it didn’t matter. The effect was the same. No matter how special he claimed I was to him, we always went in circles. Maybe he had gotten it right. Maybe it was better for both of us if we weren’t together. “Why is it so hard then?” I whispered. 

 “Nothing good comes easy.”

 I remained silent. It was a cop-out response.

 He ran a hand down his face and sat up. “Because I’m fucked! I’m fucked, Y/N and there’s only so many people I can hide from. And you aren’t one of them.” 

 It was the most candid he’d ever been with me, without revealing anything at all.

 A knock sounded at the door. 

 I went to move, but he kept me against him, covering my ears as he shouted- 

 “FUCK OFF!!” 

 But even with his hands over my ears, it wasn’t very muted. The knock grew louder, more obnoxious. 

 “Sorry,” he grumbled, moving to open the door. When it opened, a boy wearing a snapback around the same height as Harry leant against the doorframe.

 “Wassup, man-” Snapback almost burst in.

 Harry’s back went stiff as the stranger’s snapback practically poked Harry in the eye. If their overcompensating confidence and too-familiar smile told me anything – freshmen. At least Snapback’s friend wore a Bond-inspired bow-tie t-shirt.

 Harry put a hand to Snapback’s chest, backing him back out of the room. They watched me walk up behind him.

 “Hey, relax man, we just wanted to get some zombies,” Bowtie bargained. 

 “You’ve got some fucking balls,” he snarled.

 My ears pricked. He was looking for the same thing, then. From Harry. My heart sunk to the lowest part of my belly after remembering why I’d come here in the first place. The sliver of hope I’d had was that maybe what Zayn had witnessed was just Harry’s past. A summer blunder. A summer fling with an illegal hobby. You know, some kids did drugs, some kids sold drugs... It was a ridiculously stupid comparison now that I thought about it. But still, I had hope. Now my undeniable denial was being shred up right in front of me.

 The cops, the gang, the drugs circulating campus…

 Harry had made his bed, and I was lying in it. 

 I squeezed past him.

 “Wait, are you leaving?” He still blocked his doorway.

 I ignored the pang of guilt I felt at his boyish disappointment. He looked at me, body still intimidatingly rigid, but his eyes, impossibly soft. Snapback tried to move past him again and Harry whipped his head back with a growl. “Get the fuck out of here.” 

 “Excuse me?” Bowtie came closer, puffing out his muscled chest. Testosterone, angst and alcohol were never the best combination. I grew nervous at the tension, looking from my escape at the end of the hall, back to Harry. 

 “C’mon, we have the cash. We’ll pay double!” Snapback whined, cornering him. 

 The words made me nauseous, conjuring the image of Viv sliding Harry the cash. I didn’t want to see this again. I didn’t want to see anything again.

 “I don’t do that shit anymore.” He strode through their barricade, determined, but Bowtie tugged him back. His nostrils flared and I could tell he was trying to keep his cool. He could ruin these guys if he wanted to. I don’t know why he was letting them keep him. But I also didn’t know why I didn’t run away. It was like watching a train wreck seconds before it happened.

 I stood alone, in the center of the hall, the only person on Harry’s horizon. A lighthouse hoping to steer the sailor home.

 “C’mon, please man, everyone’s talking about them. We just need one,” Snapback exhorted. He put up his hands, pleading. “We’ll split one. We’ll seriously cut it in half.” 

 Even from here, I could see the muscles in his neck tense. I tried doing to him what he did to everyone else. I trapped him, wide-eyed, anchoring him to me. He didn’t break our stare.

 As if each word scraped against his skull, “I said I don’t do that shit.”

 “That’s a fucking joke. Mark got some last week,” Bowtie barked.

 I saw the moment I lost him. In what world I thought I could be enough to harbor him, I had no idea. Harry snapped, kicking the steroid-pumped kid so hard in the knee, it knocked him down. It wasn’t a broken bone, but it’d leave one hell of a bruise.  

 “Dude, are you crazy?!” Snapback cried. 

 Harry raised his fist, bringing it flying. I gasped and hid my face. But I didn’t hear an impact. I faced them again.

 Harry’s fist froze inches before his cheek. Facing what would have been a badly broken nose, Bowtie shook on the floor. Slowly, ever so slowly, Harry relaxed his hovering fist and folded his arms, squatting next to the quivering guy. “You’re fucking welcome I was in a good mood ‘fore you came, otherwise I wouldn’t be acting so polite.”  

 The squeak of a floorboard shook Harry back to Earth. He caught me walking away and his whole body straightened, once again hyper-focused on me, trying to tune in and trap me exactly where I stood. Taking advantage of his distraction, Snapback and Bowtie ran for it. Bowtie limped, running into me and knocking me off-balance as he passed.

 In a second, it was just us. 

 “Y/N,” he began, walking towards me cautiously. 

 “No.” 

 He stopped in his tracks. He was tall, but his shoulders hung in despondent defeat.

 “You were right, Harry.” 

 I could see how tired he was. I could see the broken pieces fitting into something beautiful. He looked so sad and regretful, I already felt guilty for saying,

 “You can’t hide anymore.” And with one last look at the broken boy before me, “You are fucked.” 

 Suddenly, the beer on the floor was just stale and sticky. The couches were filthy from strangers’ mistakes. And the air would never be clear. Harry had been right. This entire house was filled with people who didn’t care and if they did, they were trying to forget; a place more empty than if it were vacant. It was a mess just like the boy living in it. And just like the grand house, impressive at first glance, not all of his parts were beautiful.

 I ignored the way his broken pieces seemed to shatter as soon as I said it and the way it hurt me ten-fold. I ignored him calling out my name as I maneuvered through the blur of bodies, until I lost his voice on the dance floor. I could breathe better outside and I walked past the cops without acknowledging them. 

 From complete chaos to relative quiet, my ears rung, filling the new silence.

 Maybe this was the last time we’d speak. Maybe this was how it all should’ve ended that first day in September. Because in that house, that wasn’t the Harry I thought I’d knew. That was a boy far-gone, confused, and I was falling down with him. I was ANGRY. I PITIED him. And I was angry for feeling something else I should never have felt for him.

 Somehow, in this fuzzy ringing world buzzing with heated thoughts and cop lights that blurred my vision, I heard a notepad scribble as soon as I passed a squad car. 

 Lucky for me, Momma always said I had selective hearing.

part 21

#fratboy! harry #fratboy!harry #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles #one direction #1direction #one direction imagine #one direction smut #one direction one shot #harry imagine #harry styles preference #one direction preferences #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #onedirection #niall horan #zayn malik #louis tomlinson #liam payne #smut #fluff #angst #harry one shot

[kingdumbass]

the progression of destiel told from Castiel’s entirely non-cracked pov:

season 4: i've only known you for a hot second, but i'm going to turn my back against everything i've ever known and do you a real solid just because you make me feel weird stuff. Could be indigestion, idk. "I was getting too close to the humans in my charge - you."

season 5: i've legit sacrificed everything for you, bro, including murdering my own species just to help you out, and yet you're still tryin' to test me? From stripclubs to Satan's bullshit -That's fucked up. "I've given everything for you, and this is what you give to me?"

season 6: i'll pretty much do anything if it means this one singular human doesn't have to have a bad day for the rest of his life, up to and including working with a bunch of dipshits behind said human's back because that objective is more important than settling the apocalypse the right way. "It seems so simple when you put it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?" "I always come when you call. Would anyone but your closest kin do more for you?"

season 7: turns out when you make shitty decisions for the sake of sparing one dude's feelings it comes back to bite you in the ass. and then you die. and then you come back to life. and then that same guy finds you of all people and gives you really sad pathetic puppy eyes when he sees you with someone else. and SOMETIMES you go CRAZY. "I remember you. I remember everything." insert weird clip of everything revolving around that one guy. alternatively, "Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas." wow. what a dick.

season 8: back on my bullshit. would do anything to protect that dumb guy with the car if it means he has even a fighting chance at survival. fuck my own life tho lol. error 404: castiel is broken, must reboot. kill 1,000 dean replicas and still not be able to kill the real deal. (also never TELL him about this for reasons) "You're family. We need you. - I - need you."

season 9: literally a useless human now and after everything guy kicks me out. what an asshole. really shows who your real friends are. But like holy shit, has he always been this cute? lol somehow only my grace is needed for a spell about loving humanity? weird. it's not like that guy represents humanity on this show or anything. "You drape yourself in the flag of heaven, but it was all for saving one man." / "He's in love... with humanity."

season 10: wtf is even happening. this guy i probably love has turned into a psychotic serial killer and instead of ditching his ass i've decided that watching him MURDER THE WORLD is a more romantic approach to the problem at hand. But it's ok because we mirror that other couple where the wife had to do the same thing. weird. very bro like. This couldn't have any consequences -- proceeds to get fucking pummeled. "All she asked of me was one thing. --To stop."

season 11: taking a mental vacation. gets possessed just to let the devil figure out this mess he's made. like that one meme. can't deal with that other guy liking somebody else either. lots of sad eyes. Hypothetical: guy asks you on a drive before he dies for the 118th time says "You're like a brother to me." And well, that's just the last thing you want to hear from the guy you're in love with.

season 12: wow boy i just keep fucking UP. i almost DIED. finally admitted to the human that i loved him, but i couldn't look him in the eye, and then things got really tense, so i wanted to make sure the room knew i was in love with them too. didn't die tho, got even more tense. then the guy up and makes me a mixtape? whatever that means. idk tho i ran away because i was just SO embarrassed. And for some reason he left me 27 voicemails and cried and shit so i came back, but he was REAL mad so i thought maybe we're broken up now and tried to give back the tape. "It's a gift, you keep those." AND THEN I DIED FOR REAL.

season 13: This fucking douchebag tries to taunt me for my undying love despite the fact dean thinks we're bros. "I know what you fear, I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." meanwhile dean tries to fucking kill himself cuz he's sad about me dying. only best bros do that. like BEST bros. And then voila, i'm alive again. couldn't be because dean's gay love was so strong it pierced through the veil of death and saved the day. nope not at all. "We got Cas back, I'd say that's a pretty big win."

season 14: dean wants to murder our son and he has no respect for my feelings. i want a divorce.

season 15, probably: let's just fuck.

#castiel #destiel #destiel crack #spn crack #lol #i had time

[ozaiphobic]

🍓 Ilyyyyyy<3<3

SRUTHI!!!! Their are so many nice and wonderful things about you!!! You’re so kind, smart, sweet, very talented, and all the nice adjectives in the world!!!!!!!!!

Every time I think about you I turn into these images

[ID: first image is an heart meme of Aang in his traditional air bending clothes. He is bending hearts instead of air. Their are emoji hearts where his eyes shouls be, and hearts all around him.

Second image is a cute picture of Sokka. He is in his regular clothing. His eyes are closed and he has a big smile on his face. He has his hands near his chest

Third image is of a blonde haired guy. He is crying and wiping them with a tiny gay flag. END ID]

mutulas send me a 🍓 and I’ll compliment you!

#you are so amazing i c r y #ace answers #sruthi tag #happy asks!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #298

“i don’t like what i am becoming  /  wish i could just feel something”

Do you have sensitive skin? Very. Do you wear necklaces or earrings more? Just my tragus piercing, really. I only ever wear a necklace sometimes if I'm taking a "nice" picture. Rings or bracelets? I currently don't wear any bracelets, but I do always have one ring on. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Is your current crush younger than you? By just a couple years. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? Yes; he's very tan, especially his arms from being a mailman. Ranch or barbeque sunflower seeds? I don't like sunflower seeds. Do you know the first five books of the Bible in order? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nah, they're not my thing. Do you believe being gay is a choice or a "disorder"? Neither; I believe it's a genetic mutation. It defies biology and the very motive for life, but I always say that a mutation does not, in any way, equate to "wrong." I am extremely adamantly pro-gay rights and bisexual myself, so I can't shit-talk it. What are some of your favourite sounds? Crunching leaves, rain gently tapping on windows, windchimes, birdsong... mainly nature sounds. There are others, I'm just blanking right now. Are you a warm weather or cold weather person? Cold, 100%. What time do you wake up? What for? This spans over a massive gap, honestly... I can wake up as early as 5 or as late as 9:30. Most often, it's pretty early, and I call that my "trial" of being awake, lol... because I will almost without fail go back to sleep for a couple more hours. Hell, that happens even if I sleep on the later side. Do you ever listen to music to fall asleep to? I used to do that in middle and maybe some of high school, I think; I'd fall asleep with my iPod on and earbuds in. I haven't done that in a very long time, though. Could you spend the rest of your life with someone who had bad taste in music? ... Yes? Their taste in music has nothing to do with them as a person???? Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for? No, and it's best I don't. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, and that's how I found out I'm far from a lightweight. I wasn't going to drink more than I actually wanted to drink just to get wasted. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yeah. Who is the last child you held? My youngest niece. Have you ever woken up not knowing where you were? Maybe for a few moments after my surgery? I don't really recall. When is the last time you made the wrong choice in anything? Every fucking day when I decide what to do with my time. What is the most interesting thing in the room you are in? My snake, I guess. She's a champagne morph ball python. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? I put on soap first. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? Probably when Mom literally dragged me home after I tried to walk to Jason's to talk the night of the breakup. I lost my fucking mind. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? I don't think I have any. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. I hate Pepsi. What is better: cute smile, or amazing eyes? A cute smile. What song are you listening to? "Drilled a Wire Through My Cheek" by Blue October is on currently. Name your best friend(s): Sara. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nope. Last night you felt? I wasn't suicidal, but still kinda wanted to die lmao. Do you still watch Disney channel? No. How do you like your eggs? I only enjoy them scrambled, and preferably with cheese. What’s your all-time favorite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. If you could be any TV character, who would you be and why? Idk, I don't watch TV enough. Maybe Donna from That '70s Show. Very strong and independent, outspoken, and not to mention she has great taste. I find her to be a good female character to look up to. Do you ever come up with really good ideas for stories or movies? Do you do anything with them? Yeah; I'll try to integrate them into RP characters and plots. What sort of things do you post on your Tumblr? Vintage photos, screen caps, girly things? It's a Markiplier cesspit lmao. Sometimes I'll reblog shit I find funny. I've been very inactive on it, though. Have you ever had a dream that you couldn’t shake, even for days after you woke up? Oh yes. When was the last time you felt like a nuisance, or unwanted? Recently, I'm sure. When was the last time your dreams were crushed, or at least hindered? I dunno. How’s school going? I'm not in school. Are you angry at anyone right now? Myself. The last person to say they loved you? Mom. When is the last time you laughed hard? Hard? I'm really not sure. Are there any words on your shirt? No, it's just a blank black tank. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. Do you tell your parents everything? No. Do you get bored easily? I'm bored to the point of thinking being dead would be more fun at some point almost every day. I have anhedonia badly. I'm honestly starting to think I've over-medicated to a numbing degree so am trying to wean off some things. Have you ever burned someone's picture? No. How long was your last nap? Maybe three hours? I was really, really tired, though. Can you name the last time you felt happy? Probably when Sara and I talk-talked for the first time in a while. When was the last time you played with sidewalk chalk? Oh, I have zero clue. Probably not since I was a kid. Do you have friends obsessed with World of Warcraft? Bro wtf don't @ me. Have you ever punched a hole in the wall? No. Have you ever told someone you hated them? The only time I've seriously said that was to my dad before we reconciled after the divorce. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I actually don't remember... Favorite thing to do on Facebook? See The Memes. Do you wear flip flops, regardless of weather, all the time? I SAID don't @ me. What is in store for your future? I both do and don't want to know. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yeah. I adore bats. Do you chew on straws? No. Do you have any trophies? Yeah. Who’s the last person that creeped you out? Some guy who walked into the store I was at with Mom, continuously looking back and forth. Would you believe an ex if she/he said they love you? Well, that would depend on the person. Have you ever been kissed in the rain? Yeah. Anything exciting happening soon? My half-sister and her kids are visiting tomorrow and staying for a few days. It's a surprise for Mom. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? You could say these surveys kinda are. I don't have a designated "diary," though. When was the last time you took a painkiller? What was it for and did it work? I had womanly issues a few days back, and yeah, it helped. Have you ever had to go and rescue someone because their car broke down? When was the last time that happened? I mean, I've driven /with/ Mom to do so. I myself don't drive. What’s one sweet/candy you miss from your childhood? Is this item something you can still buy or has it been discontinued? Y'all remember Baby Bottle Pops??? 'Cuz I do, and I love those fuckin things. I still see them sometimes in gas stations. When was the last time you used some kind of moisturiser? A few days back for my hands. They were painfully dry. If you’re under lockdown/stay at home orders at the moment, are you struggling or managing okay? A bitch is s t r u g g l i n g. Has anything positive come out of the pandemic for you? Fuck no. Do you wear a watch? Is it analogue/digital? Does it it have things like a step-counter in it? No. Do you have any gifts from Christmas that you still haven’t opened or used? Not used, yes. Well, then some things are still in their boxes, but they're unwrapped. Do you know how to tie a tie? If so, who taught you? No. Who was your last missed call from? Did you ring that person back? Some number I didn't recognize, so no. When was the last time you had some kind of problem with your internet connection? Is this something that happens often? A few days back. It has occasional instances where it'll go out but come back on shortly. Do you have a favourite celebrity chef? No. Do you prefer pizza or pasta? Pizza. Have you ever volunteered anywhere before? What was the reason behind doing so? Once at PetSmart when they had dogs to adopt out, which was for school volunteer hours. I spent time with them, giving them attention and taking them outside. I also had two other animal-related volunteer days, but each was only a few hours because my fucking weak-ass body couldn't handle them. Have you ever been truly obsessed with something? What was it and how did you come to feel that way? I have an incredibly obsessive personality; I could probably name near on a dozen or so things I've been genuinely obsessed with. I don't know what it means to love in moderation. Some are/were pleasant obsessions, some aren't/weren't. Does it bother you when people turn up at your house without asking or waiting to be invited? Yes. Are you taller or shorter than average height? I'm the average for an American woman. Do you have any family members whose beliefs or ways of life completely embarrass you? YUP YUP YUP YUP. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? I don't know. Have you ever injured anyone in self-defense? No. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? In relation to its portion sizes, oatmeal or eggs. I can't have a whole lot of either. I wouldn't say I eat either a lot, but oatmeal is more common. Have you ever heard people talking badly about you behind your back? Did you confront them about it? Yes, and in at least two instances. Do you consider “home” to be the place you were born, or is it somewhere you create for yourself? I consider it to be my childhood home; not the one I was actually born in, but only because I was way too young to remember and we only lived there like, maybe two years into my life. Have you ever experienced having to leave your home due to a fire, or due to the threat of fire? No, thankfully. When was the last time you felt you were in a dangerous situation? When we had a serious tornado warning Christmas Eve. Yes. In winter. Are there any superstitions that you believe in? Which ones and what are your reasons for doing so? No. Are there any series of books/films that you never finished - either because you got bored of waiting or just lost interest? Oh, I'm sure. I Wouldn't say I lost interest in a lot though, I just wasn't interested enough, like for The Hunger Games. Which theme park is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Like, just one. Do you eat healthy? I try to be, at least. Though I've been doing very poorly about it lately because I'm a emotional goddamn eater and am having a very hard time. Do/did your parents fight often? They're divorced for a reason. Do YOU fight with them often? No. Would you say that you're respectful? I hope so. Are you a fan of Green Day? Yeah, I love them. Would you rather have 4 kids at one time or never have a kid? Jesus Christ, never. I don't want any anyway. Do you think 'friends with benefits' relationships really ever work? No. Do you or have you ever known a drug addict? Yes. Do you turn off the water while brushing your teeth or leave it on? I always turn it off. No reason to waste it. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Lots, if you include my half-siblings. Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting? I tend to find them cute. What's your homepage when you bring up the internet? Google. Was the last book you read for fun or was it for some type of assignment? It was for fun. Have you ever dated someone you met online? Yes. Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Depends on who's asking. Do you own any band tees? Oh, I have lots. Off the top of my head, some that I frequently wear are Metallica, Otep, and Korn. Do you know someone who wears a wig? No. Have you ever kissed someone under fireworks? I don't think so. What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? I strongly prefer the Olive Garden kind, but I also enjoy ranch. What genre of music do you listen to the most? Metal of some sort. Have you ever dated someone who was way overprotective of you? No. Do you personally know any cops? No. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Not much at all. How confident are you in achieving your dreams? I ain't got the slightest clue by this point in my life. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? There's a lot of things, most bad, some good. Do you have to take medication for any mental illness? A lot. Do you like looking at pictures? It depends on what's in them. Specifically pictures from my past, that's usually a big no. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I guess in very vague ways. Which family member do you get along with the most? Well, define "get along with." I by far have the strongest relationship with my mom, but we fight sometimes. As for who I stay on the most stable ground with, that's probably my dad. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? I know I couldn't, but I'd love to. How did you meet your newest friend? Who even IS my newest friend... Have you ever watched the show Teen Mom? What did you think about it? No, and I think it's an awful fucking idea for a television show. Put a spotlight on and money into teen pregnancy, yeah, that's a genius plan. Are you old enough to remember MySpace? Yeah. Do you think you’ll be a good mother/father? I wouldn't be. Do you have trouble deleting your text messages? I don't need to. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No. Have you ever been called a tease? Yeah. Do people ever make fun of your religion or lack thereof? No. Do you say/do things a lot for shock effect? No? What was the last compliment you gave a guy? I probably told my nephew Ryder he was a good brother. Was one of your grandpas in a war? Maybe? Idk. I never knew either well at all. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yes. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Have you ever ordered something off a commercial on television? No. What's worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. Do you still consider Pluto a planet? Yes. Didn't they reinstate it as one, anyway? Right now, are you at a high, leveled, or low point? What's lower than "low?"

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''i am machine'' by three days grace

[finalsorrow]

ok well i redid julius’ about (minimally, but i finally included his list of powers) and i put up the verses page finally (which isnt very long smh) 

also thanks to danny im in the pride spirit. idk how much muse i have, but i have a meme i’ve been saving for pride time that yall can just reblog from me or w/e. if i dont reblog it, i’ll just post the link. but its like “send [rainbow flag] for a starter where our muses are at a pride parade” 

and one of my favourite things to imagine are all my cv muses at pride. Julius with a bi flag scarf... he doesn’t dress up too much (unless yoko insists on giving him rainbow nails or blush or smth) but i also like to imagine him going to pride with his kids in aus where he has them, and has a sign/shirt that says ‘free dad hugs’

also, john would be so into pride even just for the fun of it. he’s an excitable guy. he’d have the rainbow suspenders and he collects patches throughout pride that he sticks to his vest.

Simon’s either the least dressed-up or the most dressed up, depending on whether he has someone to dress him. otherwise he’s just walking around with a cheap flag he was handed for free or smth. but him wearing a tight t-shirt is gay rights anyway

#.// OOC #elizabeth would take this as her 1 moment in modern times to wear the most extravagant dress she could find. #and since vampires are gay anyway no one would question her fangs or her pale skin. #sonia is pretty simple but... maybe she'd like wearing a wreath of blue purple and reddish flowers.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

I like how we've got 5 heavily-implied LGBT classmates (Nath, who's basically canon, Juleka, Max, Chloé, and Alix {pretty much all different reps too!) and two more with a reasonable possibility(Rose and Sabrina). That's half the entire class! (And you won't even pry demi Alya out of my cold dead hands). And please don't let these be queerbating.

Omg yes I’ve been watching this show with prying eyes and let me tell you:

Marinette: blushes very prominently when a hot celebrity idol, Clara Nightingale, is talking to her -- blushing is pretty much always portrayed as romantic in this show so it seems Marinette is indeed into girls, and that’s not even mentioning all her ship tease with Alya, Chloe...

Alya: as Rena she straight-up (bi-up?? gay-up???) asked for Ladybug’s number when Chat tried to flirt with her. Also all that ship tease with Marinette? wlw.

Nath: like literally dating a boy. it’s literally actual canon, he’s into dudes. also he liked Marinette and Ladybug before so BI/PAN REP

Marc: his full name is just a pun on “rainbow”, he wears a rainbow shirt, he’s based on a bisexual genderfluid person, he has eyelashes and lipstick (which the boys don’t usually have), he has a canon crush on Nath and is apparently a couple with him in Frozer, he’s canonically neither straight nor cis and I love it so so so so so much

Juleka: has never shown interest in a boy, makes heart eyes at Rose all the time, is dating her by Frozer (or at least Adrien considers it that way), she’s gay. there’s just no way to deny that she likes girls at this point. have you seen her and Rose at like any point in season 2 at all?? Rose was sitting in her lap in Frightningale!! they’re a couple!!

Rose: she kissed Juleka on the lips on Zombizou!!! I know we didn’t technically see it but their faces were close together, their arms were wrapped around each other, Juleka was covering her mouth afterwards and didn’t have a zombie kiss mark anywhere else, the fact that they didn’t show it onscreen... Julerose IS canon and it’s been proved again and again, whether Rose is bi/pan or whether she’s a lesbian and her interest in Prince Ali was platonic, I love it either way

Luka: the bi flag behind him in the concert scene, we spotted that one zag, very sneaky, I like it

Adrien: as Chat Noir in Weredad/Papa Garou he was all like “I’d totally marry myself if I could” which, if we ignore the fact that that’s literally selfcest, he... maybe likes guys then? eh whatever screw it he’s bi/pan I mean he had that meet-cute with Luka

Nino: this boy geeks out FULL ON when Chat Noir’s around, in Horrificator he was even more excited to see him than to see Ladybug, methinks he has a crush and I 100% support it

Chloe: it’s no coincidence that so much of the fandom considers her a closet lesbian or bi -- her “crush” on Adrien is so overly performative and clingy whereas the times where she values his friendship are shown to actually be heartfelt and true, she flirts with Ladybug constantly, she is Into Girls okay, and plus you can make the BEST pun: lesbeean

Sabrina: may I remind everyone that in Antibug when they were cosplaying, Sabrina was literally the Chat Noir to Chloe being Ladybug ahem ahem... also in Evillustrator the way she treats Marinette does indeed seem like she has a crush on her, especially the “breakup” part too, which is honestly quite sad, please zag give this girl some friends I’m begging you

Max: those heart eyes at Kim in Dark Cupid!! the fact that he’s the ONLY boy in the class who hasn’t shown interest in a girl!! the only one to be upset when Kim got dragged underwater in Syren!! telling Kim about Markov before anyone else!! all that ship tease, on Julerose-levels!! Kimax may not be Officially canon but gay Max is canon in my heart and soul

Kim: listen... he took Max to the zoo and showed off at him for like literally no actual sensible reason, and I know Kim’s just Like That, but still... also in Gamer he was the first one to be upset at Max losing (after showing off for like 5 minutes about how amazing and awesome Max is) and in the original animatic he actually cried real tears when Max lost, and that’s on top of all the other Kimax ship tease so hmm... bi Kim?? since he’s liked Chloe and Ondine?? and if he does date Max too then POLY KIM COME ON ZAG YOU CAN DO IT, KIM HAS TWO HANDS

Kagami: pushing Marinette’s boy love interests out of the way to help her up and then whispering in her ear is a very gay power move. and she stared at Ladybug so in awe after being rescued by her, not to mention she uses a sword... a SWORD... it’s almost like lesbians using swords is a meme or something

Alix: while her being all “ew romance” in Gigantitan on its own might not count though it totally does, this is a VERY shippy show which freely gives minor characters love interests and ship tease all over the place and yet specifically not Alix?? also she wears green and black?? and is the only classmate to have definitely not kissed anyone in Zombizou?? doesn’t even have ship tease with her classmate pair?? even her webisode didn’t mention anyone aside from her family, unlike the others?? someone stop me writing an essay about how aroace she is because otherwise I’ll do it I swear, I got plenty more

Lila: again, her crush on Adrien can be read as comp het due to how over-the-top it is in combination with her personality as a trickster so it might not be all that genuine anyway aside from wanting to be popular and wanting people to like her, and also... that scene in the bathroom with Marinette was uhh kinda gay, not gonna lie

Wayhem: okay maybe not the best example because his crush on Adrien resulted in a lot of trouble and he was kinda a weirdo stalker for a while and yeah. BUT he was getting ice cream with a boy in Glaciator, remember?? GAYhem

Nora: we haven’t seen much of her, yeah, but her whole aesthetic... it just gives me that lesbian vibe y’know

In conclusion: Miraculous Ladybug said gay rights!!!

#i know i didn't put mylene and ivan in here but idk i feel like they're the token straights #miraculous ladybug #random stuff #wilhelmares #aish answers stuff

[perilegs]

2018 meme list

january:

• ppl eating tide pods

•image of a triangle with text above it saying ”Children yelling: mcdonalds! mcdonalds! mcdonalds!”  and on it ”We have food at home” ”*Pulls into the drive through as children cheer* *orders one black coffee and leaves*” ”MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!”

•the word fuckor

• google arts and culture app

•image of gordon ramsay saing delicious, finally, some good fucking food

• january lasting forever

• original vs un-tumblrized

• goverment assigned fbi agents

• you so. fucking. precious. when you. smile~

february:

• lofi hip hop radio - beats to relax/study to was down for a while

• cat no banana has kitties!! and that has raised the cat’s popularity

•image of a person first looking at their swim goggles and then putting them on

• hotel? trivago

• Furries? In my family? it’s more likely than you think

•[blank] you can’t change my mind

March:

• X but every other beat is removed

• patrick looking mean

• that 4 panel image of the minion guy showing off his plan that fails on the last 2 panels

• op literally X but go off i guess

• distinguished/functional/disaster gay/bi/lesbian chart makes a huge comeback but the distinguished/functional/disaster part is replaced with whatever

• naked spongebob looking exhausted

April:

• vriska

• yodeling kid

• x dies in infinity war

• trumpet boy

• *NSYNC memes as always

May:

• someone’s body just chipping away with that triangle effect, i think it’s an infinity war joke

• gorl

• we’re updating our privacy policy

•in this essay, i will

• the ”is this x” butterfly meme is making a huge comeback

• bold of you to assume X

•a guy saluting then yelling

June:

• e3

• that thing with pancakes and burgers (ihob)

• this is so sad alexa play X

• small dick energy

•despacito

• my list of the best x10. they9. cannot8. be7. judged6. like 5. this4. they’re all wonderful3. and perfect2. equal beings1. [someone/something]

July:

• car salesman slaps the roof of car

• alignment charts keep gaining popularity

• queer eye reaction pics

• rabies for some fucking reason, are y’all allright?

August:

• polite cat

• merida’s accent

• ”I        like that”

• johny johny telling lies?

• ima keep it real with u chief!! kermit

•omg do gay X exist? imagine going to the Y and they...

september:

• the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone invents homestuck again

• those hand shake image pictures are getting real popular again

• bongo cat

• the picture of the guy saying ”god i wish that were me” except it’s replaced with whatever text

• zendaya is meechee

• moth and lamps

• cat holding a sign

october:

• presidental alert things

• hiding the you know i had to do it to ’em guy in every single picture there is

• banksy’s art shredding after it was sold

• memes about youtube crashing

• image of a brown haired guy from venom sitting in a lobster tank looking around

• that image of pikachu where his mouth is open :o

november:

•you should have picked mercy song suddenly got popular and became meme even tho it’s kind of old

•super smash beam

• emoji editing site

• tumblr just gets fucking deleted from both the app store and the google play store

• they did surgery on a grape

december:

• tumblr is banning all ���adult content” and flagging normal posts like there’s no tomorrow

• some guys really live like this

• the image where a woman with a pink dress first looks shook and then kinda smug/interested

send me a message if i missed something! there are no pictures bc tumblr’s formatting won’t allow it

memes i missed:

• (x) isn’t bad you guys are just mean

• hit or miss, i guess they never miss, huh?

#2018 meme list #memes #meme history

[sunflowerpostsposts]

happy valentines!

Surprise! I’m your valentine @lovinmullen! Happy Valentines Day and I hope you enjoy these little headcanons!💖

thank you so much to @swingsetboys for organizing this and generally being amazing!

-After Andi got grounded for the high school party her phone was taken away for a bit. Amber freaked out at first thinking that Andi was mad till Cyrus (lord bless his peace making soul) filled her in on the situation. A letter arrived two days later in Andi’s mailbox, guess who it was from? Amber. It was an explanation to her parents and a was signed with “Sorry if I got you in trouble! Heres my address and keep exploring the world Bambi! There are many more things like that pool in Italy” (Andi has that note in a scrapbook)Thus begins a pen pal relationship, full of not so unrequited crushes, scribbled hearts, holding of hands and eventually after stealing a flannel from each other...a kiss. 

•Cyrus saw it coming from a mile away. No one just decides to go to the Spoon on every single day Amber is working and sit there with hearts popping from her eyes. 

 Andi will call Buffy or Cyrus and gush about a moment that happened. Little does she know that theres group call happening between the Kippen siblings, Marty and TJ are about to knock Amber out “Oh my god Amber if we hear about Andi’s eyes one more time!”. It becomes a cycle of calling. They even drew a diagram of how it would go. 

Andi calls Buffy calls Cyrus in groupcall, then afterwards Cyrus calls TJ who calls Marty who calls Amber to confirm that feelings are present who calls Andi to talk about her annoying brothers. Then everything repeats.

This can repeat for hours but hey it works.

-Ambi becomes official and everyone e x p l o d e s. It was expected but WOAH IT FINALLY HAPPENED? The pining is finally over thank schnitzel

-To celebrate one month Andi made a bracelet for Amber, she was hesitant at first and said “Are you okay with a girlfriendy thing?”. Amber acts chill about it but internally is screaming.

-(They worked out Amber somehow getting Jonahs bracelet a while ago). Andi gets her phone back soon and they are the couple who uses 22 emojis per text but its adorable! 

-In the end when they do the lanterns again Amber doesn’t put anything in hers. When Walker asks why she glances at Andi and shrugs “I already have everything I could wish for”

Bonus: Their first kiss was in a canoe! It flipped over causing them both to get soaking wet. On shore Amber lifted up their towel to block anyone watching right as Andi leaned forward to kiss her her again.

-Marty learned that Buffy moved away and that was the first time he messaged her since their fight, he apologized and said he hoped that she would have a good life in Arizona. 

-She kept him waiting for a few days because she’s still trying to figure out her feelings, friendship or crush?

- “Marty, thanks for apologizing. Can we talk when I visit?” He immediately says yes! 

-Once she comes back they talk. Its has a few embarrassing moments, some sad as well but in the end they both leave, hearts pounding and thoughts occupied with how even if they were friends how it could be different someday. 

Bonus: Marty comes out to Buffy as trans and Buffy comes out to him as bi. They go to parades together and will wear their respective flags with pride! Marty is the one to paint the flags on their cheeks. 

Bonus bonus: Its been almost 5 months since they talked about the crush situation and the FaceTime calls keep getting longer 

Bonus Basketball: Buffy and him play during the off season of basketball, soon Marty joins the guys basketball team. They still play against each other every Saturday morning.

Heres some Hogwarts shenanigans! 

Gryffindor: TJ, Buffy and Leo the Locker Boy

Slytherin: Amber, Reed and Natalie

Hufflepuff: Cyrus, Marty and Iris

Ravenclaw: Jonah and Andi!

The GHC became friends in 1st year, interhouse friendships for the win!

Marty joins the group 3rd year after the Yule Ball, he and Buffy dance so the group adopts him 

Buffy and TJ’s rivalry starts in 2nd year after a fight with who got the Quidditch field, then he insulted her and her skills. Not even a rap apology was going to be enough for him to be admitted into the group. He is Quidditch-Player-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name

TJ lashed out at her because he wanted to be Quidditch Captain but she was the one who got the position

They make up after Cyrus has a Charms class with TJ, the reason? Both agree that Cyrus is a very soft kid and we will protect him at all costs. 

(Buffy suspects more but doesn’t push at the reason why TJ does that little smile when Cyrus figures out a spell)

He writes an apology, near the end of the letter it says “You were right. You are the best Quidditch captain Hogwarts has seen” After this their rivalry is more of a friendship.

Andi finds the Room of Requirement and decides its going to be a LGBT+ club (she gets permission), the next time she walks in a pan flag appears above her head.

Cyrus helps her set up a network of kids who might want to attend 

Amber, Iris and TJ are more of the popular group so when Amber and Iris walk into the Room on a meeting day you can imagine the surprise. 

“Are you sure that this is the meeting Iris? They won’t stop staring” 

Andi is shooketh because holy heck my crush is coming to the meeting be chill Andi, b r e a t h

She greets them and after some snacks from the house elves everyone feels comfortable talking to each other and introducing themselves

Amber and Iris say they’ll be regulars.

Andi had to lie down after that meeting. 

Cyrus has Potions with TJ during 4th year. Mrs. Deborah, the teacher, sat them by each other to make a potion and it exploded first try. TJ got frustrated because he mixed up some numbers but Cyrus just laughs “Its okay! We can try again” 

Thus begins Smitten Kippen 

Don’t get him started on when they made Amortenia, they were supposed to share with the class and Cyrus declined. 

TJ in that moment: Oh my god what did he smell

Cyrus to Buffy and Andi later: I don’t see what the big deal about Amortenia is? It just smelled the same as when TJ sits by me like he does in Poti-wait                                                                                            Buffy and Andi: Are you okay??

TJ and Cyrus are the disaster gays of Hogwarts. 

They’ve tried to ask each other out almost 30 times now. But it always gets interrupted by something, a troll, a werewolf turning etc. 

Cyrus has almost given up until 5th year where at a Quidditch game he gets TJ’s scarf.

It was like the meme where someone says their cold and the other person piles warm clothing on them. 

He only needed the scarf because the blush was real in that moment, nothing could cool him down. He hugged TJ said a very rushed thank you then ran to the stands. 

After that game he gave TJ a sign that said “I’m not Kippen when I say I like you” 

It becomes almost a game to see who can out flirt who

Special blueberry macadamia muffin was delivered to the Gryffindor common room. Book about lizards sent to Hufflepuff with a note in the cover. Plenty of notes sent to each other during classes.

The one who makes a move is Cyrus, TJ writes him a small poem and he marches up to TJ after dinner to say “TJ Kippen will you go out with me?”

Nothing interrupted him and TJ said yes so fast it was like something possessed him

They have a cute Hogsmeade date <3

Buffy and Marty are the most competive friends anyone has seen. Mention Quidditch? They jump for the chance to see who gets the Snitch. Spells? Get under cover this is going to be a BATTLE

Due to these competitions they get sent to the hospital wing many, many times. 

They ate too many Weasley sweets and didn’t realize they both ate a vomiting one. 

Madam Pomfrey banned Weasley treats after that, said that students were too irresponsible (a healthy black market trade arose)

Once they got out and realized they both had actual physical harm happen because of a competition Marty proposed something

Marty: Look Buffy I love our competitions...but could we stick to banter for now?                                                                                                    Buffy: You know what would be convenient? Lets go on dates, easier way to banter with each other                                                                        Marty: *screams* 

He agrees after falling down a staircase they were walking down. 

(back to the hospital wing Marty) 

By the next day it was back to regular banter! With the occasional hand holding and kiss if one of them said something a little too silly

This is the one year Jonah and Walker are beaten in the Best Couple Competition. 

Speaking of Best Couple Competitions...the year Cyrus and TJ become public is the year they almost beat Wonah (the nickname for the pairing) 

Cyrus kisses him on the cheek, his hand and on tiptoes he’ll kiss his nose but never the lips. 

TJ is totally okay with this but wonders about it sometimes. 

Skip ahead to the final Quidditch match, they’ve been dating a few months. 

TJ (about to get on this broom): Hey how about a kiss for good luck? Its the last game it might work                                                                  Cyrus (rolling his eyes): Okay you dork

Cyrus pulled him down by his collar and gave him a brief kiss

TJS FACE WAS BRIGHT RED and Slytherin was crushed by Gryffindor in a record amount of points.

Amber and Andi are a background couple most of the time, content with sitting in the library by a window. You can find them if you know where to look, the tree by the lake or near the kitchens where they sneak into for a snack. Amber is always wearing a headband from Andi and Andi will be wearing a charmed ring from Amber.

Bonus: After they both graduate, TJ is hired on a Defense of the Dark Arts teacher and Cyrus is the Arithmancy teacher. TJ goes on to be the headmaster! He makes new policies that allow students to be more comfortable with their sexuality and genders/

Bonus Bonus\: TJ and Cyrus go to Andi’s GSA weekly meeting and thats how they come out to each other. They walked in and both went “Shit”. That was the quietest they have ever been together. They walk out together and separate after throwing each other a quick smile.

#happy valentines! #andi mack valentine exchange #<3

[innerclouds]

This was requested of me, send me more! <3

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal then milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Strips of paper.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee: Black. Tea: Plain.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes.

6: do you keep plants? Yes.

7: do you name your plants? No.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Digital/Paper.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? No.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Sides, I shift constantly.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? "Robush".

12: what’s your favorite planet? Neptune.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Giant floofy chicken-gryphons.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Bed, couch, nice kitchen, tv, computers, consoles, tons of plants and pets.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Don't even need to google it, I know one. There are "clouds" in space that taste like raspberries and smell like rum.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Chicken alfredo.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Purple or blue.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. "Celtic Necklace".

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? No.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Green/Hazel.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Don't have one.

22: are you a morning person? No.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Nap.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yes.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Cabin.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Don't have any of those.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon/Spearmint.

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? We share a rather accurate hivemind.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Socks are useful, I have a few myself including super fluffy, warm and fuzzy ones for winter.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. More closer to 2am then 3am, heli flew way lower then it should have and kept circling my place until after I turned off my computer screen and light, then it left.

33: what’s your fave pastry? Chocolate Éclair.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Maggy. Cat. Yes.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Stationary yes, but I loathe pens. No.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Weathers.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! People who don't wash their hands after visiting the bathroom/before handling food.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? Necklace, onyx pendant of my zodiac animal. Someone very close to me gave me it, it's very special to me.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Raptor Red.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I do not.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Bae.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? In the company of the bae.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yep.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I honestly can't think of any off the top of my head.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Sharkfin soup.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? That's a very long list and yes, more or less.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Not really. Don't recall.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Rocks and anything with a specific gay red headed reaper.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Studio Killers: Jenny.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Idk.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Rocky Horror: Yes. Amazing.

Heathers: No. No opinion.

Beetlejuice: Yes. Amazing.

Pulp Fiction: Yes. Amazing.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Bae.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Rather not say.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Amusing quirks.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Great song but no different. No.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Honestly never thought about that so I have no idea.

59: what’s your favorite myth? Cryptids.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Yes. Ones bae writes.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? Game pixels. I was gifted a beer once.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Orange/Grapefruit.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I don't organize by titles or theme or anything, just keep them neat and clean.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Pitch black.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? No.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Woven blue irises/purple roses.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Comfy.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Freezing and full of power outs.

69: what are your favorite board games? Balderdash.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Black/Earl.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Yes.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Pop all the joints.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Adorable, fluffy sheep.

75: tell us about your pets! His name is Rune and he has atomic shits and giant paws, he's also very old and grouchy.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Sleeping.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Arnold Palmer.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I'm assuming you mean the little yellow pill looking guys, they're pretty adorable.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Anything and everything bae has ever done for me.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Ugly wood paneling. No.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Idk.

82: are/were you good in school? Good as in what? Behavior? I was behaved sure, but I was also the person people forgot was even in the class/school because I didn't speak to anyone/make a sound/have friends.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? I honestly don't recall off the top of my head.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Possibly.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I read manga if that counts: Kuroshitsuji Berserk JoJo Beastars

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? What's a concept album?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Not sure.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? No.

89: are you close to your parents? Mother: Sorta. Father: Nope.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I only really know of one city enough to form an opinion on it and I wouldn't call it my favorite.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? New place and visit bae.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Ocean of cheese.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Loose pony.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Me.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Update before log off.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Who? Rat. I don't know, I always get mixed results with that.

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I honestly can't recall.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Delta Heavy: White Flag Korpiklaani: Keep On Galloping Two Steps From Hell: Black Blade

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither.

#IC-Requests #Personality thingy #Questions

[paintedface]

only for her

summary: you have a major crush on the princess of wakanda, but when you message her, you never expect her to reply.

pairing: shuri x fem!reader / background steve x bucky

word count: 1500 words

warnings: gay-ass fluff

notes: this is the first in my ‘pride’ series, and this is for all my wlw bby’s, especially for the younger ones, because it involves shuri. this is also for my girl, @whyisbuckyso, because we both have major crushes on letitia wright.

also, if anyone knows how to create fic banners/gifs, and would be willing to create a banner for ‘pride,’ then please message me! i would appreciate it so so much!

Permanent Tags are OPEN | masterlist

You were lounging on the couch, head in Bucky’s lap and feet almost in Steve’s face, eyes drifting close as you browsed your phone.

“Hey, Buck, what was T’Challa’s sister’s name?” You ask lazily, looking up at him as his fingers paused from stroking your hair.

“Shuri? What about her?” He raises an eyebrow, a slight smile touching his face at the thought of the person who had helped to cure him.

“She’s really pretty.” You say breezily.

Steve laughs, pushing your feet away from his line of sight. “Ooh, Y/N has a crush.”

You tilt your head up to glare at him, as you click on her Instagram profile. 124k followers. Holy shit.

“I’d never have a chance with her, Steve. Shit, I don’t even know if she’s gay!” You exclaim, despite pressing the follow button.

Steve rolls his eyes, gesturing towards Bucky. “Y/N, I looked like a shrimp with no muscles, in a time where being gay was illegal, yet I still managed to score this dumb oaf.”

“Hey!” Bucky reaches over to shove Steve as the blonde man laughs, shaking his head. “But it is true. Give it a go, girl. She may be bisexual, pansexual, or something like that. You never know.”

You sigh, scrolling through the girl’s pictures. Intelligent, beautiful, god, you’re falling hard. Though you doubt that she doesn’t look at her DM’s that much, you type out a quick, ‘hey!’ before throwing your phone down.

“Urgh, this is never going to work, guys! Channel me your gay vibes.” You mumble, head falling into your hands. 

The two of them shrug, before leaning over until you shove them apart. “Without kissing, for fuck’s sake! I see enough of that every damn day!”

“Oh my god. Brother!” Shuri yells, her hands trembling a little as she bounds over to where her T’Challa is sitting in the palace courtyards, with Nakia.

“Yes, Shuri?” He turns to her, a smile on his face at her apparent excitement.

“Y/N followed me on Instagram! You know, those two gay white boys’ sort of adopted daughter?” She squeals, her eyes wide.

T’Challa raises an eyebrow. “You mean Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes? And Y/N Y/L/N? The girl you’ve been crushing on for the past few months?”

Shuri’s eyes widen even more, and she pushes T’Challa, making him teeter on the edge of his seat. “N-No!”

Nakia smiles gently at her lover’s amusement and her friend’s embarrassment. “Shuri, if you like her, than you should talk to her. Did she message you?”

Shuri nods, barely able to contain herself. The rainbow flag emoji in your bio only serves to aid her confidence.

“Then reply back! Maybe with a question or just a greeting. I know you don’t have a lot of experience, but it’s worth a shot.”

“Alright.” Shuri pecks Nakia on the cheek and ruffles T’Challa’s hair, before bouncing away.

T’Challa sighs, shaking his head fondly. “Ah, young love.”

@y/n

hey!

Your breath hitches at the sight of a new message.

@princess-shuri

hi there!

“Bucky!” You shriek, jumping onto him as soon as he turns around. He stumbles back, laughing a little.

“What? What is it?”

“Shuri messaged me back!” You show him your phone, and he grins, flicking his fringe out of his face.

“She’s a good kid. Talk to her more, see how you go. She also likes those...mee-mees.” Bucky crinkles his nose at the last word, still not being able to wrap his head around twenty first century things.

“They’re memes, Bucky.” You correct, as he pulls you to sit in between him and Steve on the couch.

“Same thing. Now text her back.”

@y/n

how are you? what’s the time over in wakanda?

@princess-shuri is typing

@princess-shuri

I’m good! it’s 10:40pm right now, wbu in New York?

wait, you’re y/n y/l/n, right? bucky and steve’s kinda daughter?

@y/n

yeah that’s me ahaha, they’ve sort of become my dads now

it’s great, honestly, the two gay dads

@princess-shuri

heckity, that’d be awesome

this is them back in the 30s, when they weren’t “gay”

@y/n

FHKFFJJHFHIDID I LOVE THAT VINE, also that’s so fuckinf true

@princess-shuri

i played that vine whenever steve came to visit bucky in wakanda

god, it was so gay

@y/n

lmao, just like me

“Shit. Was that too much information?” You hand your phone to Steve, who shakes his head.

“It lets her in on your sexuality in a hidden joke. It’s good.” He muses. You almost forget that he’s a hundred years old, because he’s damn well informed.

@princess-shuri

that’s a big mood, damn

@y/n

bless the gays

@princess-shuri

I bleSS THE GAYS DOWN IN AFRICA

You let out a giggle despite yourself, before typing out a response. The two super soldiers just smile at your excitement, remembering how it felt to have their first love.

It’s been two months since you’ve been texting Shuri on a daily, almost hourly, basis. You’ve swapped phone numbers, and your vine quoting has gotten to an extreme. You’ve FaceTimed before, and the two of you spent the whole time complimenting each other and just outright screaming. You pitied the workers in her lab, and Steve and Bucky, who just glared at you intensely, but were hiding their smiles.

“My brother says that we’ll be going to New York next month! I’ll get to meet you!” Shuri screams, the moment she flashes on screen.

Your eyes widen. “Really?!”

“Yeah! We’ll be coming to the tower, to stay for at least another month!” Her smile is so bright that it makes your heart race a little. You’re so screwed.

“Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, Miss Y/L/N. Good to see all of you ag-“ T’Challa starts to say as he approaches the three of you, but an excited shriek disrupts his sentence. He turns around in confusion when his sister runs past him and straight into your arms.

“Y/N!” She gasps, and you stumble back, but manage to squeeze her back tightly.

“Oh my god, Shuri!” You squeak, burying your head in her neck as she giggles.

T’Challa rolls his eyes, stepping closer to Steve and Bucky. “She’s been...crushing on Y/N for ages.”

Steve smirks, looking back at the two of you, now hugging on the floor. “She’s not the only one.”

The Wakandan King sighs, crossing his arms and smiling. “Young love.”

“Your room is next to mine, and we can hang out in my living room whenever we want.” You explain, your hands trembling slightly from excitement.

Shuri gives you a wide grin, her perfectly white teeth showing. “Aka, we can watch vines into the night.”

You nod, plopping yourself down on the sofa. “Yes, what else would we do? There’s no other way to spend nights on the couch.”

You laugh to yourself, but then you realise that your crush has fallen silent, and you tense a little.

“Shuri?”

She tilts her head towards you, biting her lip a little. “I...I think I know another way to while away the time on the couch.”

Your breath hitches, because oh fuck. Oh fuck.

“Y-yeah? And what’s that?” You can feel your cheeks heating up as she inches closer, your knees touching.

She pauses, looking down at her lap, as if debating whether to move forward or not, but finally, she looks back up. The cool touch of her rings against your skin, and her thumb brushing across your cheekbone, sends shivers up your spine as you tentatively rest your hand on her waist.

“T’Challa told me that Steve and Bucky said this. So I hope they’re not wrong.” She breathes, and before you can ask what she means, she leans in, pressing her lips against yours.

Your heart races as you pull her closer, because god, it’s really happening. Her lips are soft, and there’s the faintest taste of sugar on them. You can feel your hands shaking even more as you press forward into the kiss, hoping that your inexperience doesn’t show. But she doesn’t seem to care, her other hand cupping the back of your neck gently. You feel her smile, and she nips your bottom lip, making you yelp, a soft laugh rising out of her. The two of you just begin giggling together, before just dissolving into full blown laughter, both of you clutching to each other as you laugh.

“What...what did Steve and Bucky tell T’Challa?” You wheeze, and Shuri doubles over again, giggling at your lack of breath.

“T-They said that you had a crush on me, and my brother told them I had one back, cause it’s true.” She gasps, pulling you into a hug as you begin giggling again.

“God, we’re so-so fucking gay.” You grin, and she cackles, digging her fingers into your ribcage as she tickles you, making you squeal again.

When the two of you come into dinner holding hands, Steve and Bucky whoop, their eyes shining happily, T’Challa smiles at Nakia, and you can distantly hear Peter scream happily over the rest of the Avengers’ claps.

permanent tags (possibly closing): @vibranium-arm / @gallifreyansass / @omalleysgirl22 / @girlwith100names / @buckysinthesinbin / @petersneds / @buckyofthemyscira / @iamwarrenspeace / @alohabucky / @cuddlysteven / @buckybarnesappreciationsociety / @debbielovesbucky / @metal-armed-dino / @helloitscrowley / @sebastian-stans-thighs / @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics / @lorna-danee / @feelmyroarrrr / @mjuikoli / @megan-atthedisco / @yoyolovesbucky / @sebbies / @carriefish-er / @jurassicbarnes / @ssweet-empowerment / @shieldagentofthemonth / @palaiasaurus64 / @i-love-superhero / @andiewinneris / @ailynalonso15 / @bywonater / @vanillaicecrusher / @titty-teetee / @breezy1415 / @the-geeky-engineer / @mercedesbarnes / @bioticgoddess / @thewonderfulworldofafangirl / @realgreglestrade / @memory-of-a-goldfish / @amynotsantiago / @bandbooktvaddict / @edgyroses / @buckysmaingirl / @thefridgeismybestie / @cumonbucky / @untimelyideasforstories / @ridingmoxley / @jadalecki-jackles / @peters-vlogs / @em--z / @hdthdthdt / @thefridgeismybestie / @jamie-leah / @heyrogers / @ivy-16-18 / @marvlemarvlemarvlemarvle / @nephilimseb / @saveyourbucky / @wonderless-screwup / @rashinyx2002 / @httpmcrvel / @thunderous-flower / @buckys-newarm / @cordysblog / @swanky-batman / @bythebloodofafangirl / @disneymarina / @whyisbuckyso / @katiekitty261 / @plaid-skirt / @stan-by-me / @samwinchxtr / @mypage-myfandoms / @its-daydreamer23 / @goldenkillmonger / @savonid / @ohhhotstan / @softlysgtbarnes / @perksofeatingbacon / @sweet-barnes / @clever-theorist-painter / @thesergeantandstevie / @hewassortapunkroque / @rosescentedblood / @swtltlmrvlgrl / @thisismysecrethappyplace / @sydm15 / @jitterbuck / @impossiblyteenagestudent96400 / @winters-beauty / @marvel-biatch / @ultimategalaxyprogram

(strike through means I couldn't tag you, sorry!)

#shuri #shuri black panther #shuri x reader #letitia wright #shuri fluff #shuri x female reader #shuri fanfiction #shuri fic #black panther #t'challa #t'challa x nakia #steve rogers x bucky barnes #bucky barnes x steve rogers #bucky x steve #steve x bucky #stucky #stevebucky #stucky fanfiction

[rpmusingsnstuff]

‘KHONJIN HOUSE’ ASK MEME.

SEASON ONE.

“ I think it’s time to order a pepperoni pizza! ” “ Alright, let’s try this again. ” “ Why did you hang up on me?! ” “ Do you know the toll my fucking brain has taken from you calling nonstop? ” “ I can’t fucking use my dick anymore because of you. ” “ I want you dead, you little prick. ” “ This is just a plate of spaghetti. ” “ You can’t leave like this! ” “ Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to ‘Guess the Answer You Fucking Idiot!’ ” “ Your prize for winning is: full legal authority to burn my house down and kill my family-- WHAT? ” “ I think I swallowed a bottle cap. ” “ I’ve never burned down a house before! ” “ What?! What do you want?! ” “ Do you want this? It’s my most prized possession. ” “ That’s the STUPIDEST thing I’ve ever heard. ” “ Get in the back! Right now! ” “ God have mercy on all of us. But-- but mostly me. ” “ Are you American? ” “ Who are you? Wait! Don’t tell me. ” “ Whaaat is this? ” “ It’s just a little scooty. Don’t fuck with it. ” “ Ladies and gentlemen... FUCK! ” “ So it’s come to this. You’re not winning this fight. ” “ You’re not as big as you think, broseph. ” “ The only rock you’re gonna feel is the pavement. ” “ You’re gonna foot the bill of a check your body can’t cash! ” “ The bill? The food hasn’t even come yet! ” “ Maybe if you paid your bills, your wife wouldn’t have left ya. ” “ My wife and I have a beautiful marriage! ” “ They couldn’t cheat on a math test, much less cheat on me. ” “ You’ll kill us both! ” “ Don’t worry, I know how to disable bombs. ” “ You may already be a winner. ” “ Get the fuck out. Right now. ” “ You are not the legal owner of that package. ” “ I wanna play my Gamecube. ” “ That’s not a question. ” “ Where’s my Xbox? ” “ How about you get me a PSpiece of pizza, or you can Nintendo Sixty-forget about ever surviving! ” “ Can we get pizza? ” “ Um, so anyway, uh. Call me back. ” “ That’s a lot of of people they’ve gotta fight. ” “ I just had the greatest idea ever. We should write a Broadway play. ”

SEASON TWO.

“ Hey, you! You like pizza? ” “ Can I have a refill? ” “ Get out of here, you little scumbag. ” “ I make the best pizza around. ” “ No! They’re a fraud! They’re a fucking fraud! ” “ Is it true your pizzeria has passed the local health inspections? ” “ You gotta help me, doc. ” “ I got more degrees than a thermometer. ” “ That’s a wrench. ” “ Gotta hand it to you. My dick, that is. Hehehehe... ” “ You idiot! I’ll tear your degree to pieces! ” “ I’m a Youtube celebrity! 1,000 subscribers! ” “ You are garbage. ” “ Why are these names so god damn long? ” “ If you’re such a celebrity, why don’t you go off and be famous? And never come back. ” “ What the hell are you doing?! ” “ You are contractually obligated to as a Youtube superstar. ” “ Reinforce the gate! Don’t let any of them through! ” “ Who dares trespass? ” “ You’re dead! I killed you myself! ” “ I disposed of you before, and I can do it again! ” “ How easily you forget... ” “ For your grievous error you will perish. ” “ This is true. Though I have died before, once is enough. Spread the word to every corner of this earth. This house won’t be so easi-- this is so fucking dumb. ” “ Call me immediately! I wanna know. ” “ So what do you think? ” “ How do you plead guilty? ” “ I don’t know. I’ve never been guilty before. ” “ Are we really going to believe a man who publicly admitted to killing his wife and children? ” “ What a wonderful day to be the king. ” “ It wasn’t yesterday, but that’s how it felt. ” “ I don’t live in Sacramento! ” “ I’m not looking for women, I’m looking for pizza! ” “ It’s kind of mesmerizing, really. ” “ Ah, what a wonderful day to make the pizza. ” “ You. Guard. The door. Don’t move. ” “ I despise every fibre of your being. ” “ Who the fuck is this person? ” “ Also, Wreck it Ralph is a terrible movie. ” “ What’s that? ” “ I’m not involving myself with you. At all. ” “ Any of you guys see my Chia Pet? ” “ Holy shit. What the hell happened? ” “ I feel like liquid. ” “ Hey, I found something! ” “ What the hell is that? ” “ Do I look like someone who knows what the hell that is? Because I am. What was your question? ” “ I wanna know how to get the hell out of here! ” “ I will staple your face to a beehive. ” “ How about-- a high five?” “ Oh my god. They just exploded. How is that even possible? ” “ Science dictates you can’t burst into fire like that. ”

SEASON THREE.

“ The footage was doctored! You idiot! ” “ Give me the gun. Just... give me the gun. ” “ You can’t trust anyone. Except for the one man I can trust with my whole life! ” “ Words lack the parameters to accurately describe how I feel about you. ” “ Every night, I have reoccurring dream. It's you, sleeping in your bed. And it's me, with a pair or gardening shears. And I tear that stupid-ass nose right off your face, and I put it on top of my fireplace. When your dumbass daddy comes over trying to get it back, 43 trucks fall out of the sky and land exactly where he's standing. Killing him instantly. One day, it'll happen. ” “ Turn that fucking music off! ” “ I get it! You’re famous! When are you leaving?! ” “ They’re all... gone. ” “ You must follow my lead. ” “ Welcome back everybody, my wife is a bitch, we’re here at the beautiful Nickville Square Country Club. ” “ Much like my grandfather is one stroke away from having me inherit the family fortune. Yes indeed, he procured millions of dollars as a conman. ” “ I don’t know. They’re not finished. ” “ I forgot to give them food. ” “ Take a seat under my Christmas tree! There’s NOTHING there! ” “ What are you doing here, hotshot? Get out. ” “ Shut the fuck up! ” “ You ever hear a joke about the kid who dissipated into the tides of time?! ” “ And I was an undercover cop the whole time, which is what I would have said if I was a cop, I’m a murderer. ” “ What a wonderful day not to have any Christmas money. ” “ I was looking to play cards, but you can go fish. ” “ As in, like, money? But I ain’t gonna play cards with some bitchy fishy who’s trying to swim with the sharks. So how about you grab yourself a towel, and get out of the pool. ” “ Let’s play some cards! ” “ What I’m saying is I’m going to have sex. ” “ As of three hours ago, I own the copyright on playing cards. ” “ Christmas isn’t about making money! Christmas is about making a shit ton of money! ” “ The night... had just begun. ” “ Don’t trust the streets. ” “ Hey! Could you please shut up? ” “ Crisis averted. ” “ The next moment he’s coming out from behind the counter with a baseball bat. ” “ Basically, I have no idea how to solve the case. ” “ Like a man with a credit card debt of over two hundred dollars worth of OKCupid subscriptions, I was getting nowhere fast. ” “ I found the perfect guy for the job. ” “ I knew you would return. ” “ You don’t recognize your own sibling? ” “ Just thought i’d pay you a visit... ” “ Why didn’t you call before you showed up? ” “ The fuck are you doing? ” “ Where the hell have you been?! ” “ Who the hell is that? ” “ What the hell is going on? ” “ Don’t pretend like you’re not here. I know you’re here! ” “ Come and get it! ” “ Come on. Tell me I’m stupid. Tell me I’ll lose. ” “ Show me that you’ll walk away! ” “ But you can’t. ”

SEASON FOUR.

“ Alright, everybody in the car. ” “ Can I be in the front? ” “ So, how far away is Six Flags? ” “ We’re not going to Six Flags. We’re going on a hit. ” “ That’s... strange. I could have sworn we were going to Six Flags, considering I’m already in the car, and we’re going to Six Flags. ” “ If I were a target, where would I hide? ” “ Block off all the exits! Now! ” “ I’ve got the net! ” “ Finally! I can return! ” “ So you’re telling me, if I scream once, I’m dead. ” “ Well, I am a doctor, after all. ” “ That doesn’t answer my question. ” “ Come on. This is America. You can’t just point a gun at someone. ” “ The doc says if I blow a gasket, I kick the bucket. So today, you’re not gonna piss me off. ” “ Call off the whole fucking funeral. ” “ Undertale is a shitty game. ” “ Excuse me. Move. ” “ The town’s not in the budget. ” “ You can’t spell wall without balls. ” “ That sounds expensive. ” “ No. Nevermind. Refund. Discount. ” “ I like to make it the gay way. ” “ Whaddya think? ” “ Where’s my money. ” “ Do I owe you something? ” “ Look, I’ve had a rough day. I’m not looking for trouble. ” “ You know it’s illegal to feet exotic birds. ” “ There’s no way you could possibly know that. ” “ Dear diary: today I have decided to stop wasting my time with habits that just are fucking dumb. ” “ Undertale is a great game. ” “ I don’t have your money! Now get the fuck-- ” “ Do you know why I hate Undertale? Because it’s the best game ever made. ” “ The graphics look like they were drawn by a four-year-old, with the talents of Pablo Picasso in his prime. Which is what I would have said, if I liked the graphics. Which I do. Not. ” “ It’s so quiet. ” “ And I’ll be right here, at ground zero. ” “ Um, excuse me? ” “ The prodigal son... of a bitch, returns! ” “ What the hell is your problem? ” “ I wanna kill you on the principle of that stupid-ass question alone! ” “ I don’t even know who you are! ” “ I’m sorry, but there’s an irony to be appreciated here. I know it’ll be lost on you, but... would you believe you’re not the only one who wants me dead? ” “ The next time I show up will be the last. ” “ If they’re anywhere here, and you haven’t told me, I will drag this world into the depths. ” “ You’ve wanted me dead since the beginning. ” “ Die. ” “ I’m kinda sleepy. ” “ I’m kinda pissed. Probably don’t have to tell you why, either. ” “ I’ll even put on some music for ya. ” “ Oh my god, are they snoring? What the fuck is that sound? ” “ I was having a dream about this girl with really big thighs. ” “ You are so full of shit. ” “ No, I mean it! What kind of lying scumbag-- ” “ What a wonderful day to experience an unabashedly horrifying piece of ribbon. ” “ You know what? I’m gonna turn lemon into lemonade, here. I’m going to go to the mall, and buy a purse. And then I’ll fill that purse with a copper brick, and use it to beat the ever-loving shit out of you! ” “ Don’t worry, I can fix this. Which is what I would have said if I knew how. ” “ You don’t work here! I fired you a year ago! ” “ You’re fired again. ” “ I know what I want, and I know what I deserve. ” “ I don’t know what a Gamecube is. ” “ Look, these three words are non-negotiable: Super. Monkey. Ball. ” “ I am from America. ” “ That sounds like a load of shit, I don’t really believe you. ” “ Don’t tell anyone what you saw. ”

SEASON FIVE.

“ Boy, am I hungry. ” “ My greatest wish is for you to be castrated by a scorpion. ” “ Who the hell’s throwing lamps out here?! ” “ I’ll do a tap dance on your ribcage! ” “ I love this. ” “ What a beautiful day! ” “ You gotta catch that cab! ” “ With this horse? My horse? That’s a horse. ” “ It seems like you thought I was asking for a second opinion. ” “ That’s a frisbee. ” “ That’s what I thought. ” “ I would rather die at the hands of a frisbee than chase after whatever Crazy Taxi it is you want me to go get. ” “ I’m calling your bluff, asshole. ” “ There’s still time! Let’s go! ” “ You wanna know so bad? The baby stole my gun. Okay? ” “ Shut the hell up. ” “ What a wonderful day to travel back in time. ” “ That’s a mug. ” “ Why do you care about a mug? ” “ Wait! I can save everyone! ” “ I’m not playing with you! ” “ What the hell is that thing. ” “ You’re frightening the dog. ” “ What is it? ” “ It’s a date. ” “ Wow! Our first date! ” “ Why are you wearing a blindfold? ” “ So... what do you like best about me? ” “ I really admire your dedication. ” “ It is pretty funny, isn’t it? ” “ I’m breaking up with you. Get out. ” “ ... Surpriiiise. ” “ This is a rescue operation. ” “ Who else is gay? ” “ I have... two... two mushrooms. So I’m doing pretty good over here. ” “ I’m gonna blow you away. ” “ Who is this? ” “ So that means you’re the villain. ” “ If you swear allegiance to my cause, this pepperoni pizza is all yours. ” “ Look at you. All high and mighty. Big man on campus. ” “ You need to leave, I’m doing something very serious-- ” “ Like I give a shit what your name is! You are nothing. ” “ Excuse me! The men are talking. ” “ It’s finally mine! ” “ Get out here, come on, we’re on a schedule here-- ” “ I’m looking for a man between two and three hundred pounds. A man with most of his teeth, or all of them. ” “ How could that possibly help me? ” “ Oh shit. Okay, somebody call an ambulance. ” “ If you want to be ruled by someone you hate, give them this piece. If you want to be ruled by someone who hates you, don’t. ” “ I’ve decided, since you’ve kept bothering me all this time, I’ll give you that slice of pizza. ” “ You know damn well what I want. ” “ Where the hell are we? ” “ Well, I can tell you where we’re not. ” “ What have you DONE?! ” “ No bullets? ” “ I fucking knew it. ” “ You. Should not. Have done this. ” “ Looks like you’re just gonna have to kill me. ” “ So you know where you are? ” “ You don’t belong here. ” “ Okay, so you don’t know where you are. ” “ I made here! I made these people! The only person who doesn’t belong here is you! ” “ I’ll prove it. ” “ The power that was once upon you is no longer yours. ” “ This existence doesn’t need you anymore. But ours does. ” “ Just because you lost someone doesn’t mean everyone else has to! ” “ That’s enough. ” “ Get 'em outta here! ” “ Did you just SAVE everyone?! ” “ I’ll race you there! ”

KHONJIN.

“ What a wonderful day to be at the sun. ” “ After all these years, it’s finally time for your return-- ” “ I’m getting the psychic vision! ” “ You also have the gift? ” “ How much do you know? ” “ How easily we forget: I’m a psychic. ” “ Perhaps we can work out some sort of deal-- ” “ You didn’t tell me the crab crab was a crab! ” “ Alright. You asked for this. ” “ It’s just like they say: life’s a beach, and I’m the dune who can’t sand to watch our crustacean comrades go unprotected by the long beach island arm of the claw. ” “ I’m going to die. ” “ I’m going to need to examine that bag. ” “ Man! You sure do complain a lot! But you’re never wrong! ” “ I hate it! I really hate it! ” “ And that’s basically my commercial idea. ” “ You degenerate ape-- ” “ Dear pesky plumbers, if you enter EVO, you will win ten billion dollars?! ” “ Who are you? ” “ Wait a second, EVO is basketball? ” “ Have you ever seen moves like this?! ” “ I’ll be declared guilty of being a total slow-mo. ” “ Holy shit! ” “ What am I supposed to do now?! A man with something to prove has just lost... ” “ Hi, I’d like to be the bad cop? ” “ You really saved my skin there. ” “ I see myself in you, is what I’m trying to say. ” “ Coast is clear, buddy. ” “ Officers, come on, it’s just a prank! ” “ God, this sucks. ” “ How did you end up in here?! ” “ I’d give your money back, but I spent it on this frisbee. ” “ Man... someone’s gonna have to pick up that body. ” “ We could just travel back in time. ” “ I thought you’d never ask! ” “ Gentlemen, the heist is simple. ” “ Just say yes, you dipshit. ” “ We needed Kool-Aid, and this is a three man operation. ” “ So shut your ass up, and get in gear. ” “ I’m dead, you see. ” “ If your dad believes in himself, isn’t that all that matters? ”  “ So, uh, what’s your favourite dinosaur? ”

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