#it's the trauma(tm) lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thats-a-lot-of-cortisol · 27 days

Note

2 & 3 from section 1 for peri and 7 from whichever section has a more interesting #7 for diodore -moss

oooh these are fun ones!

2. Describe their tent set-up (outside and inside) (Peri)

I think Peri's tent is constructed similarly to Gale and Astarion's (boxy, fabric walls, little covered area outside). Deep blue fabric w/ golden astronomical embroidery, mostly the sort of thing you see on star maps. Little golden tassles around the edges of the tarp (?) and the doorframe. He'd have a small, circular, dark wood side table short enough that you can use it sitting on the ground, and a dark blue pillow next to it; there would be some parchment and a bronze miniature astrolabe on the table. The inside would be just. full to the brim with the gaudiest night-sky-themed pillows you've ever seen. No bedroll, no palette, just a nest that would put those cube pits in trampoline parks to shame. There would be two bird perches for his familiar Medani: one taller one next to his tent and one shorter one under the overhang. The shorter one would have a crow-sized bow-tie hanging from it. Rugs on rugs on the outside area ofc. 3. What would their character quest be titled? Why? (Peri)

This is a hard one! His tav ending involves taking over the Waterdeep arm of the Harpers, so I think his arc would have something to do with that. He'd be pretty bitter about being dropped into another near-apocalyptic mess when dealing with the last one a few years prior was supposed to be a one-time thing. Something-something ptsd in a world that doesn't have the words for that yet, something-something 'once a hero always a hero', something-something the weight of responsibility...he's a planeswalker so I think part of it would be whether he decides to stay on Toril long-term and directly help rebuild the Waterdeep Harpers or if he continues to run travel around afterwards, so maybe The Far Traveller/The Far Walker?

Harpson/Fae-son are also potential options. "Fae-son" nods to him being a changeling without it being super obvious (like Astarion's "The Pale Elf"). It would also mimic his backstory reveals from RoT ("oh he's not 'from here' so, like, the Feywild" -> "OH he's not from here"). 7. Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one? (Diodore)

Buckle up because we're in for a long one here. I've thought about Dora's story arc a lot because she's the first of my tavs that I truly made for the game while having full control over her backstory, etc. (versus Corentin, who had their arc baked into the story as a durge). Dora's a paladin of Corellon (oath of ancients) and her story arc as a companion would have to do with whether or not she should accept capital-r-Redemption, the process by which a drow can be truly "freed" from Lolth and rejoin the ranks of the rest of elven society. It involves all of the Redeemed drow's memories being erased and them being reincarnated as a surface elf. The implication seems to be that without that, regardless of a drow's actions, they'd be thrown back to Lolth when they die? Or at least that their eternal fate is unknown (which is the way I prefer to think of it for. personal reasons). Under normal circumstances, Dora would be a long way from Redemption being presented to her at all (she's not even 200 yet and has only been on the surface for a couple decades), but like with the other gods' Chosen among the companions, near-apocalyptic circumstances tend to speed up those sorts of things.

Of course, you'd have the themes of faith & relationship with deity when they're all unequivocally real and are also mostly all assholes; maintaining or breaking generational cycles; facing the unknown; morality when none of your choices are "good" (and how that interacts with morality vs self preservation); power vs freedom; identity outside of the people who made you; etc. The choice would first be presented to her sometime in late Act I/early Act II, likely the first long rest after the group resurfaces from the Underdark and you've probably gotten some of her backstory already. I have no idea how Larian would have characterized Corellon, but he's considered one of the more benevolent/open-minded deities iirc, which could be interesting to see contrasted with Mystra, Vlaa'kith, and Shar. How much that open-mindedness would extend to a drow, even one who has been a faithful follower even before she escaped to the Surface (and who inherited that faith from her father), is unclear. At the beginning of the game she would be leaning towards accepting Redemption, despite her own misgivings about whether or not she would still be her in that case.

Her final decision (at the ending pier scene) would depend on the relationship she has with the PC and the other companions. Her best ending, imo, would be her not accepting Redemption but continuing to be a force for good. If she has a good relationship with the PC, she would have something to lose. I think seeing the House of Mourning would affect her too. After all, the thing Corellon is offering to her as a way to find peace is the same thing the Sharrans are using as a way to manipulate and control others.

She's viscerally aware of how she was socialized and very actively chooses "good", so pushing her towards a darker path would be incredibly difficult but not impossible. If you side with the goblins she'll leave immediately, and turn on you if she's in your party when you attack the grove. But if you decide to try and control the cult in Act II, depending on your over-all actions before then and how you've interacted with her, you could disillusion her to the point of convincing her to break her oath. That path would entail convincing her that controlling the cult is actually the best idea. I'm sure there would be other times that her oath could break that wouldn't necessarily lock her into an "evil" path, especially with how Oathbreakers are handled in the game. Knocking out Minthara instead of killing her outright and letting Auntie Ethel go in Act I instead of killing her are two things that come to mind.

If she doesn't choose Redemption she would be at the epilogue party, of course. I'm a bit undecided on what would happen if she does choose Redemption. She may not be there at all, w/ Jaheira, Halsin, Minthara, and/or Astarion mentioning running into her in her new, reincarnated state. Or she would be there, confused, and mention how the PC seems familiar in a way she can't quite place. In that case, she would ask them how they know each other and mention something about feeling a twinge of grief looking at everyone, but that she doesn't know why she feels that way. It would be up to the PC how much they tell her (if they tell her anything at all).

#ty for the ask mossy!!#and sorry for the wait lol a couple of these stumped me for a minute #thinking about peri & jaheira as narrative parallels...#b/c i want to be clear here. peri was and is *not* looking for more responsibility re: harpers #he was perfectly happy doing security systems. him not seeking power was an active character choice i made for him b/c he's a wizard #but in the Faerun In My Head (tm) the Waterdeep Harpers also get decimated by the Absolute b/c why would they not? theyd be a major threat #especially b/c their high harper was the catalyst for forming the lord's alliance and. like. you think they're *not* reconvening?#for Weird Cult Two: 2 Cult 2 Furious??#gortash would take remallia OUT if at all possible #and also I like torturing my characters #and i think the whole 'weight of duty'/hero's curse (once you get drawn into one situation you can't ignore the others/they come to you)#thing is interesting for peri in particular. the man just wants to live a quiet life and he will! for the most part.#just now with thousands of lives in his hands b/c he's helped stop 2 apocalypses and is irrevocably tied to the fate of the Coast now #his conscious wouldn't let him just leave the Harpers or Waterdeep to rot. and that seems to be similar to the situation jaheira's in #generational cycles the cruel march of time history repeats itself etc etc #that's also why i think he would get Weave'd and have an unusually long lifespan. he wanted to rest and the universe said “no <3”#i think about dora's story a lot also because the whole 'you can be redeemed (from something you were born with)#but only by removing integral parts of yourself' thing hits *right* in the religious trauma #you cant tell me there wouldn't be *some* part of a Redeemed Drow's soul that remembers the people from before they were changed #unless they just. get a new soul in which case it literally isn't them anymore.#doras first real & healthy relationships happen in-game #thats part of why she's drawn to astarion. his bullshit is predictable to her and therefore feels safer.#definitely safer than whatever is going on with the others #(also why she trusts karlach so quickly: she's straightforward and blunt & doesn't really hide things?#and was also the only one to warn her against astarion. dora'd literally never had someone like that in her life before so it stuck)#and she'd feel a bit uncomfortable w/ the concept of Redemption at first but who is she to argue with a god?#esp one who seems kinder than many of the others #but as the story progresses she realizes that she *can* trust these people and that they trust her #and she sees how Gale and Shadowheart and Lae'zel are struggling w/ their deities #and not only does she have something to lose now but she's seeing more of how the gods work generally

1 note · View note

katrinawritesthings · 4 months

Note

Drugs with the dots over the u??? I read that like the vine of the owl offering those white people drugs

Buddy that's the way I've been pronouncing it the whole time too

But that one is. I guess technically a fic of a fic that I read once like over a decade ago that was really angsty and because I am the way I am I was like what if they worked on their problems and fixed their shit. But now I can't even find the fic anymore to reread it which I'm bummed about and also enough is changed that it's not even really the same au anymore lol but anygay

tw for self-harm and addiction and abuse talk

I just think. What if jongtae but like kind of genuinely awful for each other but also unhealthily co-dependent on and devoted to and in love with each other :3c the inherent Romance of getting better for someone else. the inherent Romance of wanting someone else to get better for themself. The inherent Romance of both of those together. The fun and drama of both of you kicking and screaming the entire way

And also the fun and drama of addiction problems and anger problems and manipulation problems and Jonghyun struggling so hard because he externalizes so he has to keep himself on such a short leash and doesn't trust himself for like anything and he's treating Taemin like he's made out of glass

and Taemin struggling so hard because he internalizes and now he can't manipulate Jonghyun into externalizing on him anymore so when he winds up hurting himself he has no one to shift the blame onto except himself and also he can't even admit yet that maybe he had a drug problem in the first place

But they love each other and they're helping each other and they're learning how to have adult constructive conversations about their feelings and doing their damnedest to at least be good to each other because they know the other deserves it and they're trying so hard to believe that they themselves deserve it too

he's smiling. Jonghyun was half up, pushing off of the cold tile floor so fast it made him dizzy, rage pounding behind his eyes, caught in his throat, buzzing under his skin, until he caught sight of Taemin’s face. of his smile. little, mischievous, smug, almost hopeful. the light switches back off. he breathes hard through his nose, glaring at Taemin, and shakes his head. calm, he tells himself, calm. "that almost got me," he says. and somehow, he chuckles. somehow in the span of a few seconds he goes from blinding rage to unsurprised amusement. he lies back down, throwing his arm over his eyes. "that almost fucking got me," he repeats. "try talking shit like that again and see what it gets you." it's a threat, but not one that he means seriously and not one that Taemin takes seriously if his little snort means anything. "yeah right,” he mutters. “it won't work now because now you'll be looking out for it." he blows an exasperated raspberry, his hands slapping onto the floor. "what's the point of being self-aware enough to sabotage our healing if you're self-aware enough to realize i'm doing it?" he demands. "fucked up. and i don't even want to fucking try it again. i feel bad about it. i never used to feel bad about it. god, you've made me soft too, haven't you? you're so difficult. it was so much easier when we were both assholes." Jonghyun doesn't need to see him to imagine his little pout. it's a new thing that Taemin has been doing these past couple of months; now that there's less things to be genuinely angry about and Jonghyun is getting better at figuring out when he's just making shit up to cause problems, he settles a lot for disgruntled and pouty. "you're cute when you're grumpy," Jonghyun says. which, of course, makes Taemin even grumpier. he presses his legs down, squishing Jonghyun to the floor with the lightest pressure, and grumbles, "you're cute when you're." he hesitates, mumbles nonsense words under his breath as he tries to search for something to say, and concludes with just, "here.” and, well. if that's not a good enough reason to stick around, then Jonghyun doesn't know what is. a lot of things suck, but at least his boyfriend has a crush on him.

#asks #anonymous #I haven't finished this one mostly because I can't decide if I should put in the jinx fucking or not lol #Jonghyun won't top rough because he doesn't trust himself anymore and Taemin won't top at all because he has trauma tm #And every time Jonghyun tries to top gentle Taemin gets so bored and annoyed because he's a little freak that likes pain #But he spent so long using Jonghyun to self harm that now Jonghyun doesn't trust him either when it comes to what he can handle #So obviously the solution is to let jinx dom him and Jonghyun gets to watch lmfao #but does that conversation fit in with the rest. I can't decide #Anygay I read that before I realized I don't actually like angst I just like hurt/comfort lol #It was really well written I miss it

1 note · View note