#it's the way I'm probably gonna have to stay inside until september still

[toongrrl-blog]

Not (Nawt!) Another Benvi Playlist

Awwwwww, say I wonder how this would play in 1963? 1973? 1983? 1993? 2003? Maybe telegrams with the earlier years, I dunno. Did they have internships back when my parents were kids? I know they had Model UN, I knew that from Mad Men and I don't know about Sally Draper's place on the social totem pole in school but she's cool so Model UN wasn't social suicide then again her county was really Republican and her stepdad didn't like real UN.......

Anyway with this tangent, listen to some good songs kids!

"Silhouttes (On the Shade)" The Rays (Herman's Hermits and Cliff Richard and The Ronettes did good covers, this needs to be covered, hey someone contemporary cover this song)

Rushed down to your house with wings

On my feet

Loved you like I never loved

You my sweet

Vowed that you and I would be

Two silhouettes on the shade

All of our days

Two silhouettes on the sha-ade

Silhouettes (silhouettes)

2. "You Really Got A Hold On Me" The Miracles (The Beatles also covered this song)

I don't like you, but I love you

Seems that I'm always thinking of you

Oh, oh, oh

You treat me badly, I love you madly

You've really got a hold on me (You've really got a hold on me)

3. "How Deep Is Your Love" Bee Gees

And you may not think I care for you

When you know down inside that I really do

And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love?

4. "He's Sure the Boy I Love" The Crystals

When he holds me tight

Everything's right

Crazy as it seems

I'm his, whatever he is

And I forget all of my dreams

5. "My Rose" Luca and Emma Castellino (suggested by @fishyyyyy99)

And maybe I didn't make myself clear

Or maybe you pretend, so you wouldn't hurt me (so you wouldn't hurt me)

It's probably better like this

But baby, you're pretty damn hard to forget

6. "Tomorrow is Another Day" Shelby Flint

Tomorrow is another day

How I hope you'll always stay

7. "Back to Heaven" Later.

'Cause if you don't atract my lady right

She's gonna send me back to life

You never know what's good or bad

8. "Unchained Melody" Todd Duncan, the Righteous Brothers, actually been covered several times

Woah, my love, my darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

I need your love

9. "You've Made Me So Very Happy" Brenda Holloway (famously covered by Blood, Sweat, and Tears)

I love you so much you see

You're even in my dreams

I can hear

Baby, I can hear you calling me

I'm so in love with you

All I ever want to do is

Thank you baby

Thank you baby

10. "It Might As Well Rain Until September" Carole King (then covered by Bobby Vee)

The weather here has been as nice as it can be

Although it doesn't really matter much to me

For all the fun I'll have while you're so far away

It might as well rain until September

11. "Everything Has Changed" Best Coast

I used to crawl

All the way back home

I used to cry myself to sleep

Reading all the names they called me

Used to say that I was lazy

A lazy, crazy baby

Did they think

That maybe I was in on it?

Did they think?

No, of course they didn't

12. "The Way You Love Me" Faith Hill

There's nowhere else I'd rather be

Oooh, to feel the way I, feel with your arms around me

I only wish that you could see, the way you love me

The way you love me

13. "It's Your Love" Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

Oh, it's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in (oh oh)

And if you ask me why I've changed

All I gotta do is say your sweet name

It's your love

It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under

Oh it's your love

(Woah oh baby)

(Oh, oh, oh)

14. "By My Side" INXS

In the dark of the night

Those small hours

Uncertain and anxious

I need to call you

Rooms full of strangers

Some call me friend

But I wish you were so close to me

15. "All I Have To Do Is Dream" The Everly Brothers

When I feel blue in the night

And I need you to hold me tight

Whenever I want you, all I have to do is

Dream

16. "Make It With You" Bread

Dreams, they're for those who sleep

Life is for us to keep

And if you're wondering what this all is leading to

I wanna make it with you

I really think that we could make it, girl

17. "Baby, I Need Your Loving" The Four Tops

Some say it's a sign of weakness for a man to beg

Then weak, I'd rather be

If it means having you to keep

'Cause lately I've been losing sleep

18. "Any Time At All" The Beatles

If the sun has faded away, I'll try to make it shine

There is nothing I won't do

When you need a shoulder to cry on, I hope it will be mine

Call me tonight and I'll come to you

19. "Only Love Can Break A Heart" Gene Pitney

Please let me hold you

And love you for always and always

Only love can break a heart

Only love can mend it again

20. "Don't Give Up On Us" David Soul

We're still worth one more try I know we put a last one by Just for a rainy evening When maybe stars are few Don't give up on us, I know We can still come through

21. "Where Does My Heart Beat Now" Celine Dion

Then one touch overcomes the silence Love still survives Two hearts needing one another Give me wings to fly

22. "Take Me With U" Prince and the Revolution

Come on and touch the place in me That's calling out your name We want each other, oh, so much Why must we play this game?

23. "This Girl Is A Woman Now" Gary Puckett & The Union Gap

This girl is a woman now She's learned how to give This girl is a woman now She's found out what it's all about And she's learning, learning to live

This girl tasted love As tender as the gentle dawn She cried a single tear A teardrop that was sweet and warm Our hearts told us we were right And on that sweet and velvet night A child had died A woman had been born

24. "Eres Tu" Carla Morrison

Quiero contemplarte sin contar el tiempo Dibujarte con mis puros recuerdos En mi mente marcar tus labios, tus besos Estás aquí dentro de mi mente

I want to contemplate you without counting the time that goes by To draw you with memories alone To mark your lips and your kisses in my mind To be here for another moment

25. "Help Is On The Way" Little River Band

Are you always in confusion Surrounded by illusion Sort it out You'll make out Seem to make a good beginning Someone else ends up winning Don't seem fair Don't you care

26. "Right Time of the Night" Jennifer Warnes

It's the right time of the night The stars are winking above It's the right time of the night For making love

27. "Human" The Human League

The tears I cry aren't tears of pain They're all to hide my guilt and shame I forgive you, now I ask the same of you While we were apart, I was human too

28. "I've Got You Under My Skin" Frank Sinatra (also covered by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons)

I'd tried so, not to give in I said to myself this affair never will go so well But why should I try to resist when baby I know so well I've got you under my skin

29. "Just Fall In Love Again" Anne Murray

Magic, it must be magic The way I hold you when the night just seems to fly Easy for you to take me to a star Heaven is that moment when I look into your eyes.

30. "You Needed Me" Anne Murray

You held my hand when it was cold When I was lost, you took me home You gave me hope when I was at the end And turned my lies back into truth again You even called me "friend"

You gave me strength to stand alone again To face the world out on my own again You put me high upon a pedestal So high that I could almost see eternity You needed me, you needed me

31. "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" The Rubinoos

Picture in my mind, I see you and me I, I'm telling you what I wanna be You, you're saying you're in love with me And oh, it feels so good in a dream That I know in life it's just got to be I wanna tell you......

32. "Getcha Back" Beach Boys

I'm getting tired, layin' around here at night Thinking 'bout some other guy holdin' you tight He may have money and a brand new car May even treat you like a movie star And no matter what he ever do for you He can never love you like I can do So if I leave her and you leave him Can we ever get back again?

33. "Tear In My Heart" Twenty One Pilots

My heart is my armor She's the tear in my heart, she's a carver She's a butcher with a smile, cut me farther Than I've ever been

34. "Need You Now" Lady A

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now And I don't know how I can do without I just need you now

35. "Somebody to Love" Queen

(He works hard) everyday (Everyday) I try and I try and I try But everybody wants to put me down They say I'm going crazy They say I got a lot of water in my brain I got no common sense (He's got) I got nobody left to believe No, no, no, no

(Ooh, ooh, ooh, Lord) Ooh, somebody Ooh (Somebody) Anybody find me Somebody to love Can anybody find me Someone to love?

36. "They Don't Know" Tracey Ullman

There's no need for living in the past Now I've found good loving, gonna make it last I tell the others "don't bother me" Cause when they look at you They don't see what I see

No, I don't listen to their wasted lines Got my eyes wide open and I see the signs Cause they don't know 'bout us And they've never heard of love

37. "Linger" The Cranberries

And I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger?

38. "Alone" Heart

You don't know how long I have wanted To touch your lips and hold you tight You don't know how long I have waited And I was going to tell you tonight

39. "Wherever You Will Go" The Calling

If a great wave shall fall And fall upon us all Well then I hope there's someone out there Who can bring me back to you

40. "Never Tear Us Apart" INXS

We could live For a thousand years But if I hurt you I'd make wine from your tears I told you That we could fly 'Cause we all have wings But some of us don't know why

I was standing You were there Two worlds collided And they could never ever tear us apart

41. "Tear In My Heart" Twenty-One Pilots

Songs on the radio are okay My taste in music is your face But it takes a song to come around To show you how

She's the tear in my heart I'm alive She's the tear in my heart I'm on fire She's the tear in my heart Take me higher Than I've ever been

#I love Not Another Teen Movie so kiss it #benvi #playlist #devi x ben #devi vishwakumar #ben gross #never have i ever #1950 music #1960s music #1970s music #1980s music #1990s music #2000s music #2010s music #2020s music

[rogeriswater]

Don't Leave Me Now

xxxvii

tags for this chapter: p.o.v change, billy being an asshole as usual, near cheating, mentions of abuse

~m.r~

It was the beginning of our next tour. This was mostly going to be an English tour, as well as select parts of Europe. And this tour was a bit different than our previous tours due to the fact that our spouses would be joining us, which is a first. Billy was rather pleased when I told him he could come along. Olivia was helping me bring all my bags outside to get ready for when the van got here to pick up Billy, Ronnie, and I. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" I asked her.

Olivia shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. Besides, someone is going to have to stay behind and watch the house"

I smiled at her, and gave her a hug. "I'll still be sending you your pay every week"

Ronnie joined us outside, carrying her camera bag. "Pup, you sure you'll be okay going on this tour in your condition?" She asked me.

"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't get on a stage and sing" I told her. "Besides, I'm not due until the very end of September and the tour will be done by then"

Ronnie nodded and then she stared intently at my face. She cupped my face and then ran her finger along my bottom lip. "What happened to your lip?" She asked. Shit, I didn't do a good job of covering up the split lip.

I removed her hand from me. "I was chopping vegetables and got a little too careless with the knife"

Ronnie's eyebrows furrowed. "Okay, but how—"

"Look!" I quickly interrupted her when I saw the van coming. "The van's approaching!" I went inside the house to go and get Billy. "Honey!" I called out for him. "The van is here!"

"I'm coming!" He called back to me and I could hear him coming down the stairs. I flinched when he stopped in front of me, even though he wasn't making any moves to hurt me. He scanned my face. "I'm sorry that I did this to you" He apologized, gently touching my lip. "You didn't tell anyone, did you?" I shook my head. Then he smiled. "Good" He leaned in and kissed my lips, causing me to wince from the pain.

We made our way outside where the van was parked. I saw Peter Watts and Alan Styles, two of our roadies, putting our bags in the car. "Hey Mags!" Alan greeted me.

"Hey Al! Hey Pete!" I greeted them.

"Where's Roger?" Peter asked me. "We thought for sure he'd be waiting out here with you"

I glanced over at his house. "Let me go get him" I walked over to his front door and knocked. "Rog, the vans here. We've got to go!" Nothing. I tried knocking again. "Roger! Let's go!" I knocked a third time and nothing. I sighed. Luckily I knew where he kept a spare key. I lifted the flower pot and took the spare. I unlocked the door with it and made my way inside. "Roger?" I called out again but no answer. I decided to check his bedroom, see if he was there. The door was open slightly and I heard sobs coming from inside the room. I pushed the door open further. Roger was sitting on his bed, crying into his hands. "Oh, Roger, what's wrong?" I cooed as I sat beside him.

"She doesn't want to go with me" Roger cried.

"Did Judy say she didn't want to go with you?" I asked.

"Well she hasn't moved back in with me yet, so no, I don't think she wants to fucking go with me!" Roger snapped at me, causing me to flinch. His face softened when he saw that he scared me. "Oh, sunshine, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"

"It's okay" I told him.

Roger sighed and looked at the ring on his finger. "You know, part of me still does love her, but I don't think there's any part of her that loves me"

"Of course she does, Roger" I said. "Would she have married you if she didn't?"

Roger laughed a pained laugh. "That was before she realized what it's like actually being married to me"

"Roger, don't do that to yourself—" I said but he kept on going.

"I'm the kind of guy who's probably gonna end up with five different ex-wives in his life" He began.

"Roger, you won't have five ex-wives" I told him, taking his hand in mine. "You'll only have one, but then the next woman you marry will be with you for the rest of her life" I told him. I hope that he new I was talking about me.

Roger smiles and then rests his head on my breasts. "You know the right words to say to make a man happy and his dick hard"

"Don't be naughty, Roger!" I say, gently pushing him off of me.

"I can't help it, sunshine!" Roger says with a chuckle. "When it comes to you...fuck" He leans in and brushes his lips against my earlobe. "Believe me, it's not just about sex with you but it's hard not to want sex around you"

Hearing that sends a rush through me. Roger just makes me feel so desired. It doesn't help that I've been such a horny little bitch lately due to this pregnancy. "Roger, please don't make me want you right now. The van is waiting for us" I told him.

Roger smirks. "Got you all hot and bothered, do I?" He leans in to kiss me but he stops. His eyebrows crease in concern and he runs his thumb gently along my bottom lip. "What did you do?"

"Oh, I had a little mishap with a knife as I was chopping vegetables" I said. I could tell Roger didn't quite believe me, but he didn't dare press it any further. "Let's get to the van, yeah? It's waiting for us"

~r.w~

I wasn't too convinced that my sunshine hurt her lip from an accident in the kitchen. I bet it has something to do when I saw her running out of the house with her face all bloodied that one night when she ran across the street to Fred's house. I feel like Billy might have had something to do with that, but I didn't want to press Maggie about it. If he ever did something like that to her, I'd want her to come talk to me about it.

Maggie and I get on the van with the others. While I'm hoping she was going to sit next to me, of course she took her seat next to Billy. I was hoping he wasn't coming along. He gave me a glare as I walked past him and Maggie. I found an empty seat next to Ronnie. "Hi Roger" She greeted me. "Someone doesn't look too happy"

"I'm obviously not fucking happy if he's here" I said, motioning towards Billy, who was busy kissing Maggie now. I wonder if he was doing that just to rub it in my face. "Steve found out about Mags and I, and now he's got us on a tight leash"

"I'm sure she's not happy he's here either" Ronnie assured me. "She'd rather be with you"

"Why didn't Sandy come?" I asked.

"She had a modelling gig in New York. Why didn't Judy come?"

I rubbed my hands on my thighs. "I don't think she wanted to be stuck with me for seven months"

"I'll try to keep Billy away from Maggie as much as I can, alright?" Ronnie said.

"Thanks, Ronnie" It was nice to know I have a good friend like Ronnie to count on.

...

Our first stop was in Chesterfield. We got to our hotel and got our rooms. Ronnie and I were made roommates, and we would be for the rest of this tour. I didn't mind though, however, I would've preferred to be with Maggie but certain circumstances didn't make that possible. "I'm sorry that you're stuck with me" Ronnie said.

"Oh, I'm not—"

Ronnie waved her hand. "Roger, I know you'd much rather be with Maggie"

I sigh. "I'm sorry"

She gave me a smile. "It's alright. I saw a bar in the hotel lobby. I'll leave you be for a bit and go grab a drink or two"

"Actually, could I join you?" I asked.

"I don't see why not"

...

Ronnie and I went down to the hotel's bar. We took a seat at an empty booth. "I just realized that you and I haven't spent quality time together like this" Ronnie mentioned.

I chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose you're right"

"Do you want anything to drink? I'll go get them" She asked. I told her my drink of choice. Ronnie left for several minutes, and when she came back, she set a bottle of beer in front of me, and colorful drink for herself. "I think someone likes you" Ronnie said.

I turned my head to see who Ronnie was referring to. A blonde woman, closely resembling Maggie, was making eyes at me. I turned back to Ronnie. "It would seem she does" I said, taking a sip of my beer.

"Aren't you going to talk to her?" Ronnie asked me.

"I'm not talking to another girl that isn't Maggie" I stated firmly.

"Roger, I'm not saying you have to sleep with her. I don't think Maggie would be too upset if you just went up to her and said hi"

I sighed. "You're going to keep nagging me until I do, aren't you?"

Ronnie smiled mischievously at me. "Yep!"

I grabbed my beer and got up from the table. I made my way over to the woman who was sitting at the bar. "Is this seat taken?" I asked the woman, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.

She looked up at me. Her red lips curled into a smile. "Please, sit" She said. Her accent was American. She must have been visiting. I sat in the seat. "I'm Nicole, by the way"

"Roger" I introduced myself.

Nicole brought the straw of her drink up to her lips. "So, what brings you here Roger?"

"I should be asking you that" I said to her. "You're the one with the American accent"

Nicole chuckled. "My boyfriend brought me here to see some band he heard was doing a tour"

That piqued my interest. I raised my eyebrows. "Yeah? Which band?"

"It's one I've never heard of before, but he's mad about" Nicole explained. "It's called Pink Floyd or something like that" I almost laughed. If only she knew who she was talking to. "Honestly, I think he just wants to get with their lead singer" Nicole sighs as she runs her hands through her hair. "He never shuts up about her"

"I don't blame him" I said. "Maggie Fox is quite the stunner"

Nicole raised an eyebrow. "You've heard of them, then?"

I smirked. "Indeed I have. I'm actually going to their show tonight

Nicole smiled again. "Perhaps I'll see you there then" She pulled a pen out of her purse and grabbed a napkin. She wrote something on it and then handed it over to me. It was a room number. "Come see me after the show"

"What about your boyfriend?" I asked.

"We got separate rooms" Was all she said before leaving the bar.

I grabbed the napkin with her room number and brought it back over to the table with Ronnie. I sat back down with her. "So, what did you two talk about?" She asked me.

I put the napkin in front of Ronnie. "She invited me to come to her room later"

Ronnie's smile faded. "You're not going to, are you?"

"No fucking way!" I said, now feeling guilt for even talking to Nicole in the first place. "I'm not doing that to Maggie"

"Good, because then I'd have to murder you" Ronnie jokingly threatened me. "So, at least tell me this girl's name"

"Her name is Nicole" I answered. "Funny enough, her boyfriend dragged her here all the way from America just see Pink Floyd"

Ronnie chuckled. "Did you tell her that you're, in fact, Roger Waters, bassist for Pink Floyd?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "I didn't. She's going to be in for one hell of a surprise"

...

Our show tonight was at St. James Hall. I was in my dressing room, getting ready when I heard a knock on my door. I opened the door, and I was happy when I saw that it was Maggie. I couldn't help but notice what she was wearing. It was a shiny, see through dress. She had a pair of shorts on underneath and her tits were covered, but fuck, if it didn't still make my cock begin to throb. "You look fucking sexy as hell" I told her.

"Even if I'm getting fat?" Maggie asked as she stepped into the room.

"Sunshine, you're not fat" I assured her. "Trust me, there's nothing sexier to a man than seeing a woman pregnant with his child"

Maggie smiled and sat down on the couch, crossing a leg over her knee. Even in stockings, her legs looked fucking sexy. She beckoned me to come closer to her, which I did. "You know why I'm here, yeah?" She said suggestively.

I chuckled. "I have a pretty good idea"

She began to unzip my pants. "Having Billy here isn't gonna stop us from performing our before show ritual" Before she could get my pants off, there was another knock on the door. Maggie cursed and then she quickly went to hide behind the couch.

I walked over to the door again and opened it. Just my luck, it was Billy the asshole. "Have you seen Maggie?" He asked me.

"No, I haven't" I lied. "She isn't in her dressing room?"

"She was" Billy said. "Then I leave for five minutes, I come back and she's gone"

"I'm sure she's around somewhere" I said.

I tried to close the door but he stopped me. "Wait, can I get your opinion on something?"

I sighed, and invited him in. "I suppose" I was only agreeing to this to keep him distracted long enough to give Maggie a chance to leave the room without being seen. I brought him over to a part of the room where he wouldn't see her. "What could you possibly be wanting my opinion on?"

"It's about Maggie" Billy said. I already had a feeling it wasn't anything good to say about her, and that's why I was relieved when I saw her leave.

"What about Maggie?"

"I don't know if you've seen what she's wearing tonight, but it's quite revealing" He said. Yeah, I saw where this conversation was going.

"And?" I raise an eyebrow.

"She just...shouldn't be dressing like that"

"A man usually likes it when his wife wears things like that"

"Yeah, in private only for the husband to see" Billy scoffs. "But parading around in skimpy outfits like that on stage in front of how many people?"

"And...?"

"It's just going to give people the wrong idea about her"

I glared at him. "And what idea would that be?"

"That she's a whore who sleeps around with other men" The way he just said it casually and without a single thought angered me. I wanted to punch him in the face right then and there.

"She's not a whore!" I defended her. I don't think I've ever heard a husband speak about his wife this way, ever. Even I would never speak about Judy this way.

Billy just started to laugh. "You don't have to cover for her. I know she sleeps around when I'm gone. I doubt that baby is even mine"

It broke my heart hearing the way he was talking about her. That he was just so careless of her. These weren't the words of a man in love. These were just the words of a man who wanted a pretty decoration for his home. "Then why don't you just leave her?" I asked.

"Because she's mine and she always be" Billy said rather darkly. "She can sleep around all she likes. At the end of the day, she still belongs to me" He pat me on the shoulder like I was his buddy, but right now, I was the furthest thing from. "Anyways, back to the outfit thing, I was hoping you could talk to her and see if she'll wear things that actually cover her up"

"Look, I can't tell her what she can and cannot wear" I said bluntly. "Frankly, I don't give a fuck what she wears"

"That's because you want to fuck her" Billy snapped at me. "Just talk to her. She'll listen to you" To my relief, he left. I was astounded at all that he had said about her, but was I surprised? No. Maggie would have to know all the things he said about her but I would tell her after the show. I don't want her getting distracted during the show.

...

I found it really hard to focus and play during the show for two reasons. One: all those things Billy said about Maggie just clouded my brain. Two: Maggie and I didn't get to have our pre-show ritual. I kept messing up. The audience didn't seem to notice, but my bandmates definitely did. I guess having Maggie suck my cock before every show really did help me play better. Once we finished our last song, took a bow, and walked off the stage, Steve approached me. "What happened out there?" He asked. I'm guessing our dear manager also noticed my mistakes.

I shrugged. "Guess I'm just distracted"

Steve sighed. "Just try not to be distracted on the next show, yeah?"

When he walked away, then Maggie approached me. "Is everything okay, sweetheart?" She put her hand on my cheek and I melted into her touch. "You've never messed up before"

"I guess our pre-show rituals do help me perform better" I smirked.

Maggie giggled and bit her lip. "Well, we can still do our after-show ritual"

I didn't even bother making sure no one was around when I was leaning in to kiss her. However, our lips didn't get to meet as someone had called out my name. "Roger!" To my surprise, it was Nicole. She brandished a backstage pass around her neck. "When you told me I'd be seeing you at the show, this is not what I was expecting"

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Maggie asked, and I could sense some jealousy in her tone. I shouldn't smirk at that but I did.

"Oh, I'm Nicole! I met Roger earlier at the bar today"

Maggie gave her a forced smile. "Nice to meet you, Nicole. I'm Maggie"

"I can see why my boyfriend never shuts up about you" Nicole says. "Let me find him and bring him over!" She left us to go find her boyfriend.

Maggie turned to me, crossing her arms over her chest. "So, who is she, Roger?" I could tell she wasn't trying to sound jealous.

"I went out for drinks with your sister earlier and I met Nicole at the bar" I explained. "Nothing happened between us"

"Do you want to fuck her?" She asked me.

 I was hurt that she would even ask me that. "No, Maggie. Absolutely not" I put my hand to her cheek. "I can't imagine myself being like that with any other woman but you"

"I mean..." Maggie paused, unsure of whether or not she should continue. "If you wanted to..."

I knew where this was heading. "Sunshine, please, don't even finish that sentence"

"Roger, let me finish" She said. "If you want to fuck her, then I'm not going to stop you" Why was she even saying this!?

"Maggie, I don't even want her!" I protested.

"I don't want you to be lonely just because I'm stuck with Billy, okay?"

I shook my head. "I'm not lonely. Your sister is my roommate"

"Roger, you know that's not what I mean" She said softly. She sighs and takes my hand in hers. "Billy has me on a tight leash, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to sneak away from him. Believe me, I want to, but—"

"I understand" I told her. Tell her, Roger. Tell her what he told you. But for some reason, I couldn't tell her. "You sure you won't be upset if I have sex with Nicole?"

Maggie smiles and shakes her head. "No. Besides, I know at the end of the night, I'm the one you love"

I return her smile. "You know it, sunshine"

Nicole had come back, only this time, she had her boyfriend in tow. She introduced him as Chris. Chris and Maggie got to talking, though I know she was doing it just to be polite. "You know, that offer to come to my room still stands" Nicole said.

I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. But, it's not like I was interested in having sex with Nicole. I could just talk with her. "I'll take you up on that offer" I said.

...

Nicole and I made our way back to the hotel and she brought me up to her room. "Here we are" She said as we walked inside. The two of us sat down on the bed together. "So..."

I forced a smile. "So" It already felt wrong being alone with another woman like this. Maybe I should just leave. This evening had other plans in store though. Nicole put her hand on my face and pulled me into a kiss. And I felt...nothing. Her lips were too chapped for me. They weren't soft and supple like Maggie's were. I kissed her back, however, just to make her happy.

Nicole pulled her face back and she had a pleased smile. "That was nice"

"Yeah" I muttered. I was trying my best to feign interest in Nicole. She didn't seem to notice that my interest wasn't genuine.

She pulled her shirt off over her head, revealing her breasts to me. Normally, the sight of a nice pair would be enough to get me going, but she wasn't doing anything for me. There wasn't even a stir in my pants. Maggie's tits were hard to beat. "You know, I've never fucked a rock star before" Nicole purred, attempting to seduce me. She got down on her knees in front of me. She tried to undo my pants but I stopped her.

"Can we skip that please?" I said to her. Sucking my cock was a special privilege that only Maggie got. "I just want to get straight to the fucking if you don't mind"

Nicole seemed disappointed. "Oh, alright then"

"From behind if you don't mind" I know that was rather demanding of me, but if I was going to get any enjoyment out of this, it's easier to picture Maggie when I'm not looking at another woman's face. Nicole took the rest of her clothes off, and I took mine off as well. She got on the bed on her hands and knees. I got behind her. "Just give me a moment" I said. I wasn't hard enough to enter her. I took my cock in my hand and stroked it until I got hard.

I could tell she was getting impatient. "Roger, we don't have to do this if you don't want to" She told me. I ignored her and entered her. She let out a moan. I began to thrust. I thought fucking her from behind would help me imagine Maggie, but I couldn't. This wasn't the pussy that was made for me. Maggie's cunt had a certain warmth and snug feeling that no other girl could replicate. I put little effort into my thrusts. What was the point of I even wasn't getting any pleasure from this? At least Nicole was enjoying it, but I just couldn't do this. I gave up and pulled out of her. I got off the bed and started getting dressed. Nicole turned around and sat on the bed, staring at me with a dumbfounded expression. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"I can't do it, Nicole" I said. "It's nothing against you but if it's not with her, it doesn't feel right"

I thought Nicole would be mad, but instead, she seemed sympathetic. "It's Maggie, isn't it?"

"How did you know?"

"When you were on stage, I was watching you" Nicole began to say. "And I saw how you were looking at her. I've never seen a man look at a woman with so much love in his eyes"

I sighed. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Nicole"

Nicole shook her head. "You didn't disappoint me. I understand, Roger. You're a man who can't get enjoyment out of sex unless it's with the woman he loves. I think that's rather sweet"

I gave her a smile. "Thanks"

"Now, what are you still doing here with me when you should be with that beautiful woman of yours?" Nicole said. I didn't waste another minute before dashing out of Nicole's room.

...

I found myself in front of Maggie and Billy's room. I didn't give a fuck if Steve saw me waiting outside her room, and scolded me for it later. I don't give a fuck if Billy answers and decides to beat the shit out of me. I just need Maggie. I knocked on the door. I was relieved when it was my sunshine who answered. "Roger?" She seemed surprised to see me. "I thought you were with Nicole"

I peeked into the room. "Is Billy in here?"

"No, he's down at the bar and I feel like he's gonna be there all night" She told me. That was the only answer I needed before I barged in and took Maggie in my arms, giving her the most passionate kiss I could give her. I picked her up and carried her over to the bed. She was a little heavier due to the baby, but not so much that I couldn't lift her up. I gently placed her on the bed, and then got on top of her. I broke the kiss, just so I could stare at her heavenly face. Her blonde hair was spread around her head like a halo worn by an angel. "You're supposed to be with Nicole"

"I couldn't do it" I said. "I can't have sex with another woman unless it's you, Maggie. That's how much I love you"

"Roger, that's both the sweetest and hottest thing that I've ever heard" She told me. There it was. That stirring in my pants. Maggie was the only woman who could me hard just by looking at her. I began kissing her neck. "Mhm, you didn't let her suck your cock, did you?"

"Fuck no, darling" I said. "You're the only one who gets that privilege" I got off of her and stood on my knees. "Speaking of which" I put my hand on the zipper of my pants.

 "No, let me" She insisted. I smirked, taking my hand off of my zipper. It was soon replaced with her own. She looked at me with those sultry eyes as she pulled the zipper down and pulled out my cock. "Pretty as always"

I chuckled. "God, I love you so fucking much"

...

Let's just say I was more than satisfied when I went back to mine and Ronnie's room. I tried to be quiet when closing the door, but I woke up Ronnie anyways. She turned on the lamp on her bedside table. "It is nearly four o'clock in the morning, Roger. Where have you been?" I didn't answer her, I just gave her a smile. "Please tell me you weren't with that girl. I'll fucking kill you if you were"

"I was with Maggie" I answered. "I tried to have sex with Nicole, I'll be honest, but I couldn't go through with it"

"Did you tell Maggie?" Ronnie asked.

"I did" I said, sitting down on my own bed. "I don't think I'm interested in sex with anybody unless it's with Maggie. I'm telling you Ronnie, when her and I make love, it's just—"

"I don't need to hear the details!" Ronnie said.

"Sorry, it's just, in the early days when we were just starting out, before I ever met Maggie, I would jump at the opportunity to have sex with any woman that just looked my way" I said.

"And what about Judy?" Ronnie asked me. "She's your wife, Roger. You can't go without having sex with your wife"

I was hoping that Judy would get bored of our sex life, in turn becoming bored of me. If that happened, then she wouldn't want to stay with me anymore. I just didn't want to be the one that initiates the divorce. I didn't want to be the heartbreaker because I knew she still loves me, at least a little part of her anyways. If I could slowly make her fall out of love with me, then she'll be the one to leave me. "I don't think she wants to stay with me anyways" I said. "She didn't even want to come on this tour with me, which is why I'm stuck rooming with you, no offence"

"None taken"

Those memories of seeing Maggie running out of her house all bloodied flooded my mind. I think her own sister deserved to know. "Ronnie, there is something I want to mention, but you can't tell Maggie that I told you this"

"What is it?"

"The night she returned home from staying with me, I saw her running out of the house with a bloodied face" I said. I could see the colour drain from Ronnie's face. "Maggie hasn't said anything to me, but there's only one way she could've gotten all bloodied like that"

"I'm going to kill the fucking son of a bitch!" Ronnie seethed. She got up to leave, ready to find Billy but I stopped her. "Roger, let go of me! That piece of shit hurt my sister!"

I held Ronnie by the shoulders. "You have every right to be angry with that fucker, believe me, I am too"

"Then let me go beat the shit out of him!"

"Ronnie, no" I said softly, trying to calm her down. "Besides, if anyone is going to beat the shit out of him, it's going to be me. And that's only going to be when Maggie tells me"

Ronnie sighs, sitting back down on the bed, putting her face in her hands. "Roger, I've witnessed my mother being abused. I know how it works. Maggie is never going to tell you. Hell, our own mother tells us she's not being abused, even when we see that asshole beating the shit out of her"

"Maggie is different, Ronnie. I know if she's going to tell anyone, it's going to be me" I assured her.

"And how can you be so sure that Maggie will be any different from my mother?" I know Ronnie didn't say that to be mean or angry. It was coming out of a place with fear.

"Because, Maggie is the strongest woman I've ever known. I trust her, and you should too"

Ronnie wiped her tears from her face. "You're right, Roger" Her hand grabbed mine. I knew it wasn't meant as a romantic gesture, but rather coming from a place of comfort. "Roger, promise me, you'll do everything you can to keep her safe from him"

I squeezed Ronnie's hand in return. "I promise, for as long as she's with me, I'm not gonna let anyone else hurt her" I've made many promises in my life, and I've broken my fair share of them, but that was the one promise I would keep close to my heart until the day I die. For as long as she is with me, Maggie Waters will have nothing but the love and affection she truly deserves from the one person who truly does love her with all my heart. And yes, I did call her Maggie Waters. She may not be my wife yet, but she will be soon.

#roger waters #roger waters x ofc #roger waters fanfiction #pink floyd #pink floyd fanfiction #maggie robinson #dlmn #my oc

[racheloveyunho]

Till death do us part - 4

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful   and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after   the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her  father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids   were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a  sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess,   bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his   beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze   locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, smut, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 1883

TW series:  Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain  a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug,  kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

TW chapter: Obsessive behavior (from Y/N’s and San’s side), threats, swearing and a hint of jealousy.

Here it was, the silhouette I liked the most

"San..."

He hugged me tightly as if there was no tomorrow. I noticed how he was sweaty and out of breathe, probably from running to get to me faster.

I breathed in his unique scent, it was woody scent, something fresh but still manly. I felt safer with him, everything was easier when he was by my side. I didn't want to let him go and my feelings seemed mutual as he tightened his grip on my waist.

I was like a piece of metal attracted to a magnet.

We sat down on the bed and he let me cry my heart out, listening every word I had to say. I told him my story, my conflictual relationship with my father, how harsh he was with me and my brother since my mom passed away and my arranged wedding with this Hwang Jinyoung.

We talked for two good hours about my problems but also about the future we both wanted.

As time went on, I started to feel sleepy, my eyelids were heavy and my mind was cloudy. I slowly closed my eyes until I fell into a deep sleep into San's arms. He gently patted my head to help me fall asleep.

"Don't worry Y/N, I will protect you from now on."

San hummed a song before falling asleep by Y/N’s side.

----------------------

Chapter 4

I woke up in the same room I felt asleep on. The unusual walls made my heart ache at the thought of what had happened between my father and I. I knew deep inside me that there will be no turning back with my relationship with him but strangely enough, i didn't feel bad about it, I was more concerned about my brother than anything.

"Did you sleep well?"

I looked up and was greeted by this angelical face of his. San was laying on the same bed as me, one of his muscular arm holding my frame tightly. I smiled back and hide my face on his chest, smelling his addictive scent at the same time.

"I did."

It was a weird feeling. I knew almost nothing of San, I met him three times and still... I felt as if I could give him my whole body and soul. I couldn't help but think about what my mom told me when I was still a child.

"Someday you will find someone you can rely on, someone who doesn't need words to know how you feel, someone who understand and cherish you as the most precious thing in the world. You will find this person one day Y/N, I'm sure of it."

My lips came upward in a smile as I remembered my mom's word, they had a new meaning to me since I met San.

His grip tightened a little around me while his other hand was busy, gently petting my hair.

"You are acting like a boyfriend"

"Do you like it?"

"Very much" I smiled, looking fondly at him and before I knew it, San leaned on and kissed me slightly.

His lips felt like feather, there was nothing but sweetness and love in this kiss, his right hand cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb against the soft skin.

When our lips finally moved apart, I looked up to meet his - oh so lovely - gaze.

"You are so beautiful"

"Say the man whom is beauty itself" I giggled softly.

This moment was almost perfect - almost.

My mind was quick to remember about the bitterness of the situation I was in. I looked down sadly, avoiding San's intrigued eyes.

A lot of questions were running on my mind. What will happen from now on? I was still minor and my dad was stubborn, he would never let me escape from his grasp so easily. How will I survive? I didn't even had enough money to stay on this hotel for more than a week.

Unconsciously, I sighed heavily. San took my chin between his thumb and his index and lift my face towards his.

"What is it?" San asked me in a whisper.

"Did you bring your phone with you? I have to call Hana, she must be worried."

After a few seconds, he nodded and gave me his phone. I entered the familiar number and quickly enough, Hana's voice was heard through the phone.

"Y/N!! Is everything okay? I was worried sick! I thought you were coming early in the morning?" Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. I frowned my eyebrows. She was whispering yelling and it was odd since she was always a loud girl.

"Sorry, I didn't wake up. Why are you this quiet?" I suspiciously asked.

"Y/N, I don't think you should come here, your father was there one hour ago and he was beyond furious! He threatened me and my family, saying that he will ruin our lives if he find out we are hiding you from him!" She cried out.

This sentence came before a long and heavy silence where no one dared to talk. My mind was processing this new information while my heart was scolding me for bringing my best friend and her family into a delicate situation.

San was quietly listening to our conversation, his right hand on top of mine while his thumb was gently rubbing the back of my hand.. 

"I'm so sorry Hana... I didn't mean to bring you into this mess..." I lowered my voice, guilt eating me alive.

"Hey sweety... It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong but... I don't think this is a good idea to go against your father will. He is really scary."

"Are you telling me to came back home and let my father do everything he wants with me?" My throat felt suddenly dry and my heart heavy in my chest.

No answer.

I knew she was just afraid of what could possibly happen to her and her family, she just wanted to protect her loved ones. However, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. She knew how my father was and how hard it was for me to handle this situation.

"I see. Don't worry for me, I'm gonna find a way." I finally stated with the coldest voice I could muster. I didn't let her the time to give an answer and hung up right away.

I stayed silent for a while and so did San.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally looked up at him and sighed with a small smile "Thank you for what you did to me. I owe you one"

"Why are you talking as if you are going somewhere?" he arched his eyebrows before leaning close to me with his signature smirk of his "I'm not planning to let you go away from me, love."

I gasped in surprise "L-love?" I asked stuttering, embarrassed by this sudden pet name.

"Why are you embarrassed about? We just kissed a few minutes ago"

I avoided his gaze and coughed slightly to get rid of the awkwardness "I can't stay here San... You will be in trouble if my dad find out you helped me and I don't want it to happen."

This time, it was San's turn to sight.

"Y/N. Listen to me. I will let you two choices" I frowned but stayed silent to let him continue "You don't know who I am but I can help you. However I won't take you with me if you don't want to. It's up to you. Do you want to stay with me, where I'll promise to keep you safe by my side, or do you want to go back and be toyed your entire life by your father against your own will?"

Silence again.

His face was serious and his voice demanding, It actually made me think I couldn't choose the latter choice - not that I wanted to choose this option anyway.

"Why are you doing this.. I mean, we don't know much about each other and-"

"Kim Y/N, born in Seoul the 25th September 1999 at 3:48. You like horror movies and all kind of sweets, your mother passed away the 4th June and since then, your father had changed completely, leaving you and your brother behind" San said, never breaking visual contact with me "You are the student with the best grades on your class and you are the teacher's favorite and even though you want to attend the prestigious Seoul national college, you don't know what to do in your life yet"

I was astonished, how did he get all his information?

As if on cue, he slipped a hand in my hair "It's been two years now Y/N, no one know you as much as I do. I know every single details about you but now, I don't want to look at your life from far away, I want to be apart of it" He smiled but frowned as I slowly stepped away from him "were you stalking me all this time?" I asked, heart beating fast.

"Come on, I know you are as obsessed over me as I am over you" He laughed before standing up and quickly doing his hair while looking his own reflect on the mirror “I was there every time you talked to your friend about me”

I watched his every move and couldn’t find anything to say. No matter how crazy it sounded, I knew he was right.

"And how are you gonna help me?"

"Your dad isn't all white, quite the contrary" He said "I know enough to tell him to let you be" He added.

"Are you going to... threaten him?" I looked at him through the mirror.

"Why? You don't want me to?" He smiled at me, his back still facing me.

I took a deep breathe.

"No... He deserves it"

He turned around and came closer to me with the widest smirk.

"So... Are you coming with me?"

I watched as the landscape kept changing from outside the window. The spacious car was moving in slow pace in a part of Seoul I never went in.

I knew it was the beginning of something new but everything seemed so unreal, the only thing that kept me back to reality was the warmth of San's hand intertwining with mine.

I quickly take a glance at the driver, his sharp nose and strong eyes made him look cold, a perfect contrast with his tanned skin. I was surprised by how young he was, probably not much older than San and I and obviously both of them were getting along with each other.

I was so focus on looking at the man and wondering who he was to San that I didn't took notice of my staring until I felt San squeezing my hand.

"Y/N...I'm not sure of how I feel about you looking at another man" He pouted cutely to grab my attention back to him. I laughed lowly and gave him a apologetic look "I'm not sure how I feel about you being jaleous while we are not in an official relationship yet" I smirked at him.

"The kiss wasn't official enough for you?" He smirked back "should I give you an other one then? " He asked, his face coming closer to mine.

His lips ghosted over mine but we were interrupted by a loud cough before we could properly touch each other.

"Please San, can you keep your hands for yourself until you both are alone? I don't especially want to see you guys kiss in the back seat of my car" The driver said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Look who is talking" San scoffed "Should I remind you how many times you made out with your girlfriend in front of me?"

The older man let out a dry laugh, his eyes still on the road.

After a few minutes of a comfortable silencex the driver looked at me from the front mirror.

"Your name is Y/N, right?"

"Yes... And you are..?"

"I'm Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa" He said "I'm glad to meet you, San wouldn't shut up and talk about you every fucking day" He laughed, earning another loud scoff from San.

"Watch your mouth, you are older but I'm still the boss here" San growled.

Suddenly, the car stopped abruptly.

"We safely came back to your home sir~" Seonghwa politely stated, not without a hint of teasing in his voice.

San pulled me out of the car, hand still holding mine firmly. I followed him and looked up at the huge mansion in front of us.

My mouth fell agape, this place was way bigger than mine.

"Welcome to your new house" San smiled.

----------- 

-----------

We are finally starting to introduce the others members!

Also this chapter is a bit shorter, I didn’t even noticed until I checked the number of words but I thought it was better this way, there was nothing to add since the next chapter was already done lol.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!

See you next time~

Tag list:

@hijirikaww @pinkchampagne2 @xduygu-arsx @joongiebug @leicy0756

#ateez #mafia kpop #ateez san #ateez scenario #san x reader #ateez x reader #seonghwa #park seonghwa #choi san #choi san x reader #ateez imagine #choi san mafia au #ateez series #ateez mafia!au #ateez mafia #mafia au #ateez fluff #ateez angst #kpop au #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop series #kpop imagine #kpop scenarios #strangers to lovers

[dailyaudiobible]

09/25/2020 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 45:11-48:11, Ephesians 4:1-16, Psalms 68:19-35, Proverbs 24:3-4

Today is the 25th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it's great to be here. I cannot believe it is almost the end of September. I don’t want to get ahead of ourselves. We got…we got…we have some days to go, but man here we are getting ready to bring another month in for a landing in just a few short days. But everyday matters. Every day that we spend in the Scriptures matters. And, so, we have a few days left in this month and we can choose to embrace and end strong and finish well as we prepare to go into the final quarter of the year, but I’m getting ahead of ourselves here. So, rather than staying ahead of ourselves let's center ourselves right here right now where we are, the 25th day of September, the 269th day of this year. We’re reading from the Contemporary English Version this week. Isaiah chapter 45 verse 11 through 48 verse 11.

Commentary:

Okay. So, as we continue our journey through the letter to the Ephesians, this…this letter keeps telling us the story is bigger than you think it is, there’s a lot more at stake, you have to open your eyes and see what's going on here, this is of big deal. And, so, we've been kind of looking…looking at these different vista points as we make our way to the letter. And today, basically, the letter is telling us something we probably don't like to be told, but need to be told, “it's time to grow up.” And we might be thinking, “well…I'm…I'm up in years, you know, I'm…I’ve…I’ve been a grown-up, I've been an adult for a long time now. I don't need to grow up.” But, yeah, we…we probably have areas that we need to grow up in. For example, let me just quote what this letter suggests we should do. “Always be humble and gentle.” Like, I’m gonna go on but let me just pause there. Like are we that? Then we could say, “yeah. I’m mature in that area”, but if not, then there is some growing up to do. “Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.” So, we’re seeing that maybe we all have some growing up to do. I continue to quote. “Try your best to let God Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace. All of you are part of the same body.” In other words, we are all in this together and it will not work any other way. Just like our bodies, right? Our hand can't just divorce itself from our body and it could be…it could be lopped off in some terrible accident but the hands not gonna live and the body’s gonna suffer. This is what Paul's been saying all along in his letters. So, continuing. “All of you are part of the same body. There is only one Spirit of God, just as you were given one hope when you were chosen to be God's people. We have only one Lord, one faith and one baptism. There is one God who is the Father of all people. Not only is God above all others, but He works by using all of us and He lives in all of us.” Again, like that last thing, “He lives in all of us.” Chew on today. God lives in you. And all the things that are being suggested in this letter are things we can live into. We can choose not to. And honestly, most of the time we do choose not to, but that doesn't mean it's not available and that it's not real. Maybe we don't have eyes to see. Maybe there is some growing up to do. So, the letter continues to tell us that in order to become mature, in order to grow up, that Jesus has equipped the church. There are apostles and prophets and missionaries and pastors and teachers so that we could all grow and learn to serve and understand that we are part of one body and then when we grow strong, we are all growing strong. And when we are weak, we are all weak. We are one. We are one body, and this is gonna continue, these gifts that God has given to help us to mature and grow. According to Ephesians this is going to continue until we are united by our faith and our understanding of the Son of God, then…and I'm quoting…”then we will be mature just as Christ is and we will be” brace yourself… “and we will be completely like Him.” That's where this story is headed and according to the letter to the Ephesians and I’m just mostly quoting all of this, according to Ephesians “we must stop acting like children. We must not let deceitful people trick us by their false teachings which are like winds the toss us around from place to place. Love should always make us tell the truth, then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head of the body. And Christ holds it all together and makes all of its parts work perfectly as it grows and becomes strong because of love.” So, maybe we do have some years under our belts. Maybe we do have lots of experiences upon this earth, but are we, for all of those experiences and all of those years, are we still spiritual children? Are we still immature? And if that were the case would that not explain so much about the rest of our story? Because so often we are confused at ordering our world around us with our senses is the key when actually life is inside out. If we are spiritually mature our world, our lives will fall in line accordingly because we will be spiritually mature. We will be closer day by day step-by-step into the likeness of Christ or re-quoting Ephesians, “we will be mature, just as Christ is and we will be completely like Him.” I mentioned where we are in the year at the beginning of our reading today and I was like yeah, we’re out in front of ourselves. There’s still five more days or whatever left this month, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But maybe just knowing that there are these days left in this month and then we will be turning into the final quarter of the year, maybe taking these days to consider our spiritual maturity, to consider maybe it's time to grow up and stop being little kids in this. Maybe that's what we spend our next few days preparing for and considering and meditating upon as we continue the journey forward because I would wager that a year like no other, this year, has done a lot of things but one thing that it has certainly done is expose different levels of immaturity in our lives. And I also would wager to say that, in order to finish this year well, this very very weird strange year we've been a part of and all the strangeness that is still out in front of us, we’re gonna need spiritual maturity. And, so maybe there's nothing more important to focus on today and in the coming days.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit we invite You. We invite You because You have promised to lead us into all truth. We are counting on that. And as You lead us, we are being made mature, we are growing up, we are being transformed into the likeness of the Savior. This is the goal, and this is what we are after. This is what our hearts long for. This is what we are crying out for. It’s just that growing up exposes that we’re not. Becoming mature exposes, the areas that we’re not. And then we squirm, and we don't like it because growing up takes work and requires responsibility and we don’t usually think of this in spiritual terms. And yet the quicker that we grow up spiritually and become mature within, the quicker we will be able to act with wisdom without. Come Holy Spirit we pray into this in the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

What’s up everyone? It’s Evan Olson from Greenville South Carolina just calling in a prayer request for my friend/coworker. Quite a divine appointment from God really. I just put in my two weeks at the pizza place I’m working at and then God presented a great opportunity for a job for me and my wife __  us before but…anyways I worked tonight…I prayed after I put my two weeks in and my coworker his name is Alex and he was standing in the back doing dishes and I just said I’m gonna go talk to him because he never really…he just started like a week ago and I just figured I’ll go talk to him. So, I walked up to him and talked to him and I mean the next thing I know he was telling me about stuff he was going through. His wife has cheated on him. He is going through a lot of suicidal thoughts. He’s tried commit suicide 17 times. I asked him if I..I asked him if I could call into this show and request prayer for him and he said yes and it was just amazing because, well, the Spirit just presented an opportunity and I invited him to church and everything and I just request prayer…prayer for him because he’s in a really tough spot right now. Thank you everybody. I love the Daily Audio Bible, longtime listener first-time caller.

This is Kitty Cat from Pennsylvania. This name was given to me by my beloved brother Tad and he’s actually also a DABber. He listens to Daily Audio Bible. I listened about four years and I just…I…this is my first time calling in for a prayer request. My prayer request is, after 65 years of really really excellent health…health…I’ve been so blessed in my life…I was diagnosed about six months ago with __ cell cancer in my face that unfortunately travels to some nerves. Now I went for 33 rounds of radiation and…and my prayer request is that while I wait for the test results that the anxiety will just be gone and that I can just be a shining light to my family and my friends and everyone, you know, and…and hopefully try to help them go through trials as well. And this, you know, obviously I hope the news is good and I pray for good news that I’m cancer free in November but I ask that you just pray that the fear is taken away…I…and I just can be a shining light during this time. And I listened today Psalm 63, O my word, that’s great. My soul clings to you, my soul thirsts for you. Your steadfast love Lord is better than light. And I love the Daily Audio Bible. And I just…I’m so thankful that you can pray for me. Thank you this is Kitty Cat from PA. Bye-bye.

Hi this is Jesse I am a resident in a hospital in Georgia. First of all, God bless everyone. And I’m having some problems at my residency. I just ask that God would give me the knowledge and wisdom to do right. I am being evaluated now so I’m just asking for God’s favor and I would ask if you can all join me in that prayer. And I will also ask for His grace and thank Him for it. I’ll say a prayer. Father, I only come before you and I just give you the thanks for everyone on this network. I thank you Lord God for letting them know you, letting them know who …who to come to and who to trust. I thank you for creating us. I thank you Lord God for the love that you’ve placed in us to give to others. And I pray now Lord God that every miracle in everyone’s heart of God will be made manifest Lord God before their eyes. And I thank you O Lord. God bless everyone. I love you.

Hey everybody this is Pelham calling from the great state of Alabama. I can’t even give you a city anymore because the Lord is moving me around, protecting me, healing me, binding up my broken heart and trying to show me the extent of His love, which is infinite. But I’m…I’m making this little call here today for Terry the Trucker. I’m trying something new. I’m gonna try to start caring about others instead of caring about myself. Wow…let’s see how long that lasts. But Terry, your call played like five days ago or a week ago something like that and I wanted you to know that I remember the first time you contacted the DAB. I remember…I remember the first time that you reached out and boy it feels like a lifetime ago but I wanted you to know there’s a guy in Alabama that’s praying for your peace and your strength and for your family and I’ve got to confess I probably need to listen to your prayer request again because there’s so much going on in my world that I can’t pay attention for longer than a few seconds. And the Holy Spirit has been gently nudging me to try something new and try to stop focusing on me and focus on others. And I’ll tell you, that’s not easy. But the Lord is so cool that He gives us the…the opportunity to experience how hard His job is getting the deal with all of his children and all of the forgiveness and the cross. I love you guys. Just wanted to say I’m alive. Bye.

Good day DAB family my name is Ron from the Philippines and I’ve been living in Dubai for 12 years it’s my first time calling using the app. Firstly I’d like to thank the people who have prayed for me on the Prayer Wall. They have been great blessing and encouragement and right now I’m just asking for more prayers because I’ve recently just lost my job and I only have a month to stay here in Dubai to try to find a new job otherwise I will need to go back home which is going to be tough. And, so, I need your prayers for God to direct me to the path that He wants me to go to. I’m also asking for prayers for comfort because there are bad days where I would sleep with a heavy heart, have nightmares, and wake up with palpitation. And, so, I’m just praying for God to cover me with this piece. I’m also facing the fact that I might not get anything after 12 years of service because I still have a loan and they would probably involuntarily put my benefits to the bank to pay off the loan. I’ve talked to the company and it seems that there’s no way, but I know that God will make a way and God will provide. And, yeah, I just thank you because I know that once you hear this a lot of people would be praying for me for an…an…an amazing job opportunity as well. And that gives me hope and strength and I know that this is a great testimony in the making. I am very grateful for this app for strengthening my faith immensely and for the people who are going to the same thing. We just need to trust God and He has amazing plans for our lives. God is good in God is Sovereign and we take comfort in that. Thank you, family, God bless you all.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible community today is September 21st 2020 and it is 1:40 AM in the morning Central Time here in Newburgh Indiana. This is Diane Olive Brown shalom, shalom I’m putting my log in the fire and I want to go back to the 17th when I don’t know if it was a little girl or little boy but the song was so pure and so holy and I just wanted…I won’t be able to sing it like they…that little person did. [singing starts] Dear God please all the people that are in the fire. Please help them to be safe and not get harmed. Please help them to know that You are with them. Dear Lord, we love You so much. Dear Lord, we love You. You’re in our heart. We are in Yours too. Please help all the people to learn about You [singing stops]. Thank you little one.

[multinova]

Heya! Oh I'm so happy the ask box is open, I just love everything you write. Could I please ask for a scenario where Bakuboy takes his girlfriend to meet his parents? I've seen a few of these floating around and I wanted to see how you'd do with it, I really love those fics. Anyway, thank you so much and have a wonderful day!

this was requested to me in goddamn september and i’m just now finishing it. wow, hasana. anyways, i’m back to posting all my finished works and just in time for my birthday this friday! hope you enjoy the read, habibi. 

“I swear, Kirishima, she’s been bugging me all damn day. I wonder why it’s such a big deal for her to meet my shitty parents, it ain’t like they’re any fun.”

Bakugou wondered why meeting his parents was such a huge deal to his girlfriend, he didn’t even like being around them for longer than twenty minutes. [name] had been pressing him all week to set up a day where they could go and visit the Bakugou household. Of course, he had straight out denied her of her request and when threatened by her phantom quirk, he was quick to reconsider.

“Dude, why don’t you just let her go see your parents? It’s not like it’s for a whole week, just a night and then you can return to the dorms when it’s over. That way you can avoid Spirit.” Kirishima suggested as he did his set of leg stretches before they sparred, watching Bakugou glare down at the floor in annoyance.

“Fuck, man. I guess so. Anything to avoid Spirit. She’s a fucking nightmare for sure.” Bakugou shuddered, grabbing his phone and sending a quick text to [name] about tonight’s plans.

to: queen spirit👻                                                                                                  from: bakubabe💕

we’re going to see my shitty parents tonight. happy?

from: queen spirit👻                                                                                              to: bakubabe💕

omg, thanks babe! i can’t wait, uwu!

Bakugou rolled his eyes at the screen, just imagining [name] running around her room fishing for a good outfit to wear. He threw his phone aside by his duffle bag and returned to the ring where he was preparing to spar with Kirishima.

“You did the right thing, man. Trust me,” Kirishima reassured, “Everything’s gonna go great.”

“I really want to fucking believe that.”

That night, Bakugou had washed up and put on a simple black t-shirt with cotton sweats. Nothing too fancy for his old home and boring parents. [name], however, was a different story. The young girl had chose to wear one of her fanciest fall outfits; a tight white turtleneck with black fitted jeans, a pair of knee-high leather boots and a black fur vest brought straight from a vintage shop. She had wanted to bring her designer bag to really impress but was talked down by Bakugou and simply wore a leather pouch.

The two had arrived at the front door of Bakugou’s old residence, and instead of waiting for his parents to open the door, Bakugou used his old key to open the door and walk right in.

When he didn’t see them sitting in the living room like usual, he shouted loud enough so that the two could hear him wherever they were. “Mom, Dad! Your guest is here, goddamnit!”

[name] jabbed Bakugou in the rib for being so loud and uncouth in the presence of his parents. He scowled at her as she put on a quick smile as his parents revealed themselves from the kitchen, covered in flour and various food products. What had they been doing before they arrived? Bakugou shivered at the scary image and wished that he hadn’t conjured that thought in the first place.

“I’m so sorry, my dear! We were preparing a cake for dessert when Masaru here decided he wanted to have a little food fight so we kinda got out of hand.” Mitsuki laughed as she mindlessly dusted off her stained apron and then went to take it off.

“It’s fine! I’m just so excited to meet you two after so long.” [name] gushed as she was led to the couch by Mitsuki’s welcoming hand.

Bakugou wasn’t sure what to do or say in these types of situations and just stayed quiet until he was asked a question or prompted to speak, which Mitsuki and Masaru made sure of real quick.

“So, dear, tell us about yourself. We’ve only heard so much from Katsuki, who refused to let us get to know you for some reason,” Mitsuki sneered, “I mean, if this is the woman you’ve decided to be with possibly for life, then why shouldn’t we know about her?”

“Maybe because it’s none of your damn business about who I date!” Bakugou growled defensively.

The tension between mother and son was thick as Masaru and [name] sheepishly watched as the pair glared intensely at each other as if their life depended on it. They didn’t know what else to do but sit and observe as the two battled it out through the fierce looks in their eyes.

Mitsuki was the first to retaliate, not wanting to waste the precious time that she had with her possible daughter-in-law. “Sorry about my son, [name]. I can only imagine the stress he puts you under daily back at the dorms.”

[name] laughed as she watched Bakugou’s scowl grow in annoyance and rubbed his knee in an attempt to calm him down. She wanted to get along with his mother but not at the expense of making her beloved angry.

“Actually, when we’re in the dorms, he’s much more considerate and kind to me and our friends than he wishes to be. I love him regardless of whether he’s a stick of dynamite or sizzling firecracker.”

[name] moved her hand from its position on his knee to cup his reddened cheek and give him a small kiss of gratitude, to which he allowed at first then pushed her away though he did keep hold of her hand.

“TT.”

Mitsuki and Masaru chuckled at the display and couldn’t have been more happier for their troubling child as he finally found someone that helped to control the rage inside of him. Kinda like how Masaru was for Mitsuki back when they were still young.

“I’m glad to hear that, honestly. I hoped my son would swallow that pride of his and step up to the plate sometime before he left high school. I’d hate for him to end up like his mother at that age.”

“Wait a minute. So you’re admitting that the reason why I’m like this,” Bakugou gestured to himself, “The sole reason is because of you?”

“Well, when you put it that way, it makes it seem as if I put a hex on you.” Mitsuki faked a pout, earning quiet snickers from her husband and [name]. The dynamic between the two was just too entertaining not to watch.

“YOU PROBABLY DID, OLD HAG!”

Despite all the arguments and violent tendencies, [name] was glad she got to meet her boyfriend’s parents. It made her excited to see some of what was to come in the future if Katsuki decided to put a ring on it after graduation. And plus, she’d get to watch the frequent mother-son duo brawl it out with Masaru, who was surprisingly full of many jokes and had much in common with her. 

Katsuki had better wife her up too or else he’d have to face the wrath of Spirit, in addition to Mitsuki. The thought of such team-up was more scarier than that Samara bitch from the Ring. 

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugou #bakugou x reader #mha #mha scenarios #mha imagines #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia scenarios #boku no hero academia imagines #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia imagines #my hero academia scenarios #scenarios #fluff #imagines

[yellowmotomami]

Better not to know

drabble challenge

Prompt:  # 130 “She’s my daughter, I can read her diary.”

Submitted by: @raleigh-ocean

“Don't forget your lunch!”

Shelby ran after her daughter who was leaving for school. She handed the lunchbox to the teenager who simply rolled her eyes and walked away, not bothering to turn around as her mother waved her goodbye.

The blonde sighed and checked her surroundings before shutting the door. She would then shower, get ready for work, grab something on her way out as “breakfast”. Just another typical day. At the end of the day, she'd come home exhausted, and fall asleep on the couch probably. Audrey would be in the kitchen cooking dinner and looking over Skye's shoulder as the girl did her homework. She smiled at the thought.

A quick look at the planner on the kitchen fridge, and Shelby realized that she actually didn't have any yoga classes to teach until late afternoon. That meant she had plenty of time to relax, and maybe even to do a little cleaning. Audrey wasn't up yet, so she decided to have some real breakfast for once. She reached for the granola on the shelf and poured some almond milk into a bowl. She was sitting on the counter enjoying her cereal when a sleepy Audrey made her way into the kitchen.

“Morning honey!” Audrey yawned and placed a small kiss on her wife's nose.

“Morning” Shelby replied with her mouth full.

Audrey turned on the kettle, and hopped onto the counter to sit next to Shelby. Shelby rested her head on her shoulder, Audrey smiled softly. She cherished these moments, and knew that Audrey did too. They could just stay like this forever.

“Well, I gotta get to work!”

Audrey stood and was about to head to her office to go and work on her script, but Shelby was quicker than her and stole her a kiss. They both smiled and Shelby let go of her.

There was a lot of cleaning to do, and Shelby'd better start now if she wanted to be done by the time she had to go to work. Okay, let's start with the bathroom.

About three quarters of an hour later, she stepped out of the bathroom and plugged out the vacuum cleaner, plugging it into the socket across the corridor. Now Skye's room.

“Ugh, I hate this.” She blurted out loud.

She never felt at ease entering her daughter's bedroom without her being there, it seemed to her that she was violating an unwritten but universal rule. Her gaze went across the room and she sighed at the amount of books scattered all over the floor. She started picking them up and pilling them on the desk.

One book in particular caught her attention. It read “do not open”. Obviously, it really peaked her curiosity. Shelby being Shelby, all she wanted was to open the book and discover what lay inside. As she caught herself considering that option, she whispered to herself.

“She’s my daughter, I can read her diary.”

She knew that her daughter had nothing to hide, still she remained fascinated by the book. The urge to unleash what was held inside was stronger than the trust her daughter had placed in her. So without any more hesitation, she slowly turned the cover of the diary, as if she was about to open Pandora's box. She felt the paper between her fingers, the pages were whispering to her and revealing all the unsaid tales.

She hadn't even started to read, she was still somehow fascinated by the journal, it had put such a spell on her that she didn't hear the footsteps coming closer and closer. September 5th. She started reading.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Audrey burst into the room.

“Have you seen my iPad? All my notes are on it.” Audrey panted, out of breath, one hand on her hip and the other leaning on the door structure.

Still enchanted by the book, it took a few seconds for Shelby to come back to her senses. As she didn't reply immediately, Audrey squinted.

“Everything alright?”

Shelby gathered the books still laying on the floor to try and hide the diary among the other ones. But this time Audrey was quicker, and grabbed the oh so precious book out of her hands.

“Do not open? Shelby, what are you doing?”

Shelby looked down. How shameful of me, she thought. Reading her daughter's journal, invading her privacy, what was she thinking?

“Shelby why would you read this?” Audrey help up the diary.

Shelby didn't look up, she couldn't confront her wife's stern gaze.

“Bloody hell Shelby! You can't just barge in and go around messing with people's stuff, she's our daughter for God's sake!”

Audrey didn't usually show any moderation in her tone, which came across as quite harsh on some occasions. She tended to bottle her emotions and unleash them in times like this. Shelby knew that what she'd done was immoral and that she deserved all of Audrey's anger. How would she ever regain her trust?

Realizing the bluntness of her words could have hit Shelby, she crouched down next to her and wrapped her arms around her.

“I know that you didn't mean any harm, you were just curious.” She said in a softer tone.

“But we're a family. Some things we share, some things we don't have to. If Skye has a diary and writes that on the front, then we must respect that.”

Shelby nodded at Audrey's words and hugged her.

“Crikey, I'm getting good at this!” Audrey giggled, and so did Shelby.

“Are you gonna tell her?” Shelby became slightly more worried.

“Oh God no! Of course I won't, her loosing our trust is the last think I'd wish for, and I know that you would've done the same for me, so. Let's put this behind us, we don't need to whine about it for ever.”

Shelby uttered a small thanks, and went back to her tidying up. Audrey squeezed her arm to catch her attention.

“Hey. Let me help you with that.”

She smiled and stood up to put the diary back on the desk, as Shelby pilled up some more books next to her. Audrey turned around and pulled her into a hug, caressing her cheek with her slender fingers that Shelby covered with kisses.

“Thank you, baby” She whispered in her ear.

Shelby scrunched her nose and Audrey couldn't resist the temptation of placing a small kiss on it, causing them both to giggle.

They knew they could rely on each other and that they shared the same feelings regarding each other and their daughter, and that was what made them a family.

#ahs #ahs fanfiction #drabble challenge #shaudrey #shelby miller #audrey tindall

[okaneganai-no-rondo]

Elisabeth Tsukigumi 2018 Review

So let me preface this with the fact that calling this a review is probably a lie. This is more me needing to vent all of my emotions into the semi-anonymous void of the internet. This is gonna be real long and rambling, and more personal than actual review. You could call it a stream of consciousness gushing coming from a new fan.

A little (another lie) backstory on me. I like Elisabeth a whole heck of a lot. It is probably my favorite musical ever, and has been for about eight years. I learned about Takarazuka and Elisabeth simultaneously, associating the Takarazuka Revue in my head as pretty ladies who perform Elisabeth and also The Rose of Versailles. This was a simpler time. I had no real knowledge of or access to any resources about Takarazuka. But yet, the idea of this show intrigued me to no end. I have always been a huge history buff, and it seemed to me that this show checked all of my boxes. So what did I do, at fourteen and full of all of these questions? I turned to YouTube, and while I found very little Takarazuka content, I did find an incomplete subtitled version of the 2005 Vienna Revival of Elisabeth. I devoured it. I watched it like a TV show, waiting anxiously for each new section to be translated and uploaded. I was in love with every aspect of it; the cast, the characterizations, the staging, everything. I talked to everyone who I thought would even be the least bit interested about it. It consumed me and my interests as much as I did it. I watched it at least ten times a year for five years, until it was removed from YouTube for copyright. Understandably. By this point I've accepted it, I have the translations almost by heart so I can get by with the soundtrack. I still really enjoy a lot of media influenced by the Takarazuka Revue, but have no real idea where to start consuming any of that material.

Flash forward to this year. I'm accepted into the JET program and placed in Hyogo prefecture. One of the first things I look up is how far away Takarazuka is. It might as well be down the street. I check the upcoming shows. Elisabeth, a month after my arrival. I stalk the English ticket page, with a desperation previously unknown to me. This was my chance to see Elisabeth live, an impossibility up until now. And I got the tickets, for a weekend show towards the end of the run. The most stressful ten minutes of my life, when my computer decided it didn't want to reload the page. But I got them, and I was going.

I started to latch onto any information about Takarazuka and their productions of Elisabeth that I could. And honestly? I was a little disappointed. It seemed so far from what I knew Elisabeth to be. The alternate or omitted songs really got to me, and so did the characterization of Death as more of a romantic hero (when contrasted with Maté Kamaras' forceful, sadistic Der Tod). But, I decided to give it an open mind. Especially since I had spent so much money on tickets, and had waited so long. So I found a friend to give my extra ticket to, and we made a plan to go.

We ended up taking the Hankyu line to Takarazuka, so I definitely made the joke that we fell right into a trap made by a 1910's Japanese businessman. That Mr. Hankyu is crafty.

I would say, that up until we crossed the Muko river from the station, that doubt in my mind still lingered. But the second we touched that bridge, something inside me changed. I got infected with the aura surrounding the theater. There was some magic in the air that just hooked its claws into me and told me to stay. There was something about the energy surrounding the place, that I really can't describe.

By the time the curtain rose I was hyped. And rightfully so. The next few hours were some of the most memorable performances I've ever seen staged.

Manaki Reika, whose voice I wasn't a fan of in the trailers I had seen, was spectacular. The parts of her performance that I hadn't enjoyed in glimpses ended up blending and evolving throughout the show as her character aged and matured. Her scene in the insane asylum struck me in particular, but her whole performance had an air of grace around it most deserving of an actress of her caliber. I am saddened that this is the only memory I'll have of her live on this stage.

Touka Yurino's Sophie was also a standout. She disappeared into her role, fully embodying it. I loved her voice, and the commanding presence she had on stage. I dearly wished that they would have given her "Bellaria", instead of whisking her off to her death mid-song. But alas, this is not that staging.

This performance was the morning of September 22nd, the first day of Miya Rurika's absence. But, due to me not reading postings at the theater/not having great Japanese comprehension all of the time, I had no idea until several hours after the performance. All of the switched roles blended flawlessly, still meeting all of the expectations you have for the characters beat for beat. And that blew my mind and really drilled into me how talented, trained, and rehearsed all of these women are. How do you go from playing Luigi Lucheni to Franz Joseph in one night? I was wowed throughout the performance by every actor, from the top stars to the smallest roles in the crowd. The effort they put into this craft is unimaginable to me, and they pull it off in the most magical of spectacles.

Finally, I want to talk about Tamaki Ryou. Her Tod bewitched me. Every scene, no matter where she was or what she was doing, I couldn't help but watch her helplessly. The best way for me to describe the characterization of death in this show as I understand it in my head, is that this Elisabeth and the Vienna staging I hold so closely to my heart are two sides of the same story. The Vienna revival is Elisabeth's story, plain and simple. She is tormented by death, his dark shadow leaving its wake upon everything in her life from the moment that she first spoke to him. Takarazuka is Death's story, him giving voice to Elisabeth's tale. He pines for her, she continues to rebuff him no matter how many options he gives her. He frames her narrative, but without the maliciousness. Does that make any sense? I'm not sure. Either way I spent probably $130 on pictures of Tamaki Ryou's face so who am I to talk? I've probably listened to the demo CD they were selling of three songs from the show about 50 times now, and every strain of Tamaki's voice in "Ai to Shi no Rondo" cuts me like a knife. The song that I thought I was going to hate became my new favorite, a fresh insert to the show that is constantly reframed by its reprisals. I love it, and I love her.

If I have one complaint about the show, it would have to be the omission of the death of little Sophie. I feel like that small part really sets the tone for the rest of the show. Like Death is here, and even if you have your small victories you will not outrun him or outlast him. But that's just my take. Otherwise 10/10, would stand in line for five hours to watch another performance if I had the time. Also will trade left kidney come November for dvds.

#elisabeth das musical #takarazuka #takarazuka revue #tsukigumi #review #long

[angelvenin]

fifteen days to slow the spread

on the topic current events. tw for the coronavirus, death.

If you feel sick, stay home. 

Do not go to work.

Contact your medical provider.

So, I don't even know what number day it is that we've been inside. I haven't gone to school in two months. How long is that? Sixty days? It was only supposed to be two weeks. 

After the first week, my sister and I circulated through every activity we could think of. Painting. Playing piano. Playing guitar. Reading. Writing. Sleeping. Cleaning. But things got boring after the third day of playing the only songs we know on piano. We're not the only ones that are bored. My best friends text me everyday of how they miss going outside. It was 90° outside today, and I spent every hour indoors. Even now as I write this on my laptop in the early hours of the morning, as everyone else is asleep. What time is it? 

2:35 AM.

Oh.

I guess I should get some sleep.

If your children are sick, keep them at home. 

Do not send them to school.

Contact your medical provider.

Right now I'd be in geometry, counting down the minutes until school ended and I could go home and sleep. But instead I've only just woken up. It's 2:01 PM. Claire purrs beside me and I reach over to scratch her ear. The morning - well, afternoon - feels oddly relaxing and calm compared to others. I walk downstairs to find my family waiting for me. This can't be good.

"Liliana," my father begins, sparing no attempt to soften whatever blow he's about to give. "You're very mature. You've always been mature. You're handling this pandemic crisis incredibly well, especially for your age. Your mother and I are so proud of you."

He says it in a way that feels demeaning. Because I'm a teenager I can't be mature? When did that stereotype start?

"Thank you," I say anyway, "so what do you want?"

"We're starting to run out of… essential items." My mother sighs, looking at me with her tired eyes. "Even though we stocked up, we didn't anticipate the quarantine lasting this long, and we just don't have enough supplies for the rest of the month."

I look at Rachel. She's playing on her Gameboy, a hand-me-down from Dad's childhood. I don't think she knows what Mom is about to say, but I do. I hold my breath.

"We never want to put you in danger. But we need your help. You and Dad need to get more supplies. Today." she says, hesitation pounding every syllable out of her mouth. 

"You mean we have to leave?" I ask. My mom and dad slowly nod their heads 'yes'.

"I'm afraid so, jellybean." my dad sighs. 

"This is… awesome!"

If someone in your household has tested positive for the virus, keep the entire household at home.

Do not go to work

Do not go to school.

Contact your medical provider.

Mom and dad stare at me, in shock. Even Rachel pauses from Yoshi's Island and smiles at me. I smile back.

"Liliana, you do realize the risk of leaving, right?" My dad clarifies. I nod with a smile.

"Of course I realize the risk, I'm just so excited to finally leave the house. We've been here for two months. I barely get fresh air. And I can't wait to see people other than you all! No offence."

"None taken." my sister replies, her eyes now back on her game.

"I'm… glad you can see the positive side of it," Mom awkwardly states. I look at my dad, who's still shocked.

"Your mother can't go, it has to be you. I hope you can take the responsibility."

I know my mom wouldn't be able to go. With her medical state, she'd be at an incredibly high risk of getting sick or worse. Her lungs and heart are weak, and her immune system is compromised. We all take care of her.

"And Rachel can't go, she has to stay with me." Mom adds. Rachel squints her eyes at me and I return the glare with a smile.

"So, are you ready, jellybean?" Dad asks. 

I'm so ready.

I fill my coat pockets with everything I can think of -

Hand sanitizer.

Gloves.

Extra facemasks.

Hair ties.

My camera (to take pictures).

"Ready to rock and roll?" Dad asks once we're both situated in his car's front seats. 

"As I'll ever be," I respond. He starts the car and we're off.

It's hot. It's hot and it's bright outside, nothing like I've felt since February. Almost no one else is on the road. No cars are even parked outside. It feels like we're in a zombie apocalypse movie. My dad turns the radio up.

"Paid leave has now come into effect for not just government jobs, but to those in retail and food. Many fear this new allowance will cause a dent in the federal budget, but the President assures it is able to be paid for. I'm Maya Diaz, NPR News."

I usually block out the news, since they've reported nothing but the same story since March. The virus is unavoidable. Celebrities talk about it, friends talk about it, the mass media obviously talks about it. First it pissed me off. But now it's just a fact of life.

"Don't pick at your mask like that," my dad says. I sigh.

"It's so uncomfy! Are we almost there?" I whine.

"Calm down, jellybean. We're gonna be there in no time given this traffic."

"Or lack thereof," I take in the empty lanes beside us. Absolutely no one is outside. The city is usually bustling and the traffic is awful. But today, just the two of us are surrounded by silence.

 If you are an older person, stay home and away from other people.

"We need bread, milk, water, toilet paper, vegetable oil, meat, cheese, spinach, apples, bananas, eggs, and toothpaste." My dad reads off of the pink sticky note covered in mom's handwriting.

"And bacon. Mom forgot to write bacon. We need bacon."

"Liliana, your mother hates bacon."

"It's the apocalypse, dad! We need bacon!" I giggle. He glares at me seriously and my smile quickly goes away.

"You can't say that out loud." He whispers as he looks around us. The only people in the huge grocery store are three or four cashiers and some shoppers stocking up like us. "People take those kinds of jokes really, really seriously." 

It's sobering. Rachel and I joke all the time, but I still know deep down it's not something to joke about. I forget to filter myself now that I've left the house. I nod and keep my head down as we get the rest of what's on the list. 

"Your total is $201.90," the ever so gloomy cashier says once we've finished shopping.

"Prices have really gone up, huh?" Dad jokes. I silently roll my eyes at the casual banter, anticipating the painful reaction from the cashier.

"Be glad you can afford it, bud." the cashier spits back. My dad doesn't respond. Neither do I.

Once we load up the car, we drive back in silence. I listen to the radio while I snap some photos of the empty streets when we stop at red lights.

"Of course, this virus hasn't even peaked yet, which begs the question: when will it? For now, schools and businesses are closed and trying to handle this unprecedented emergency. It is not unlikely that schools won't open again for the rest of the standard school year, as reported by the superintendent and school board this Monday."

"What the fuck?" I shout, startling my dad.

"Liliana! Watch your language!"

"Are we actually not gonna go back to school?"

He sighs and purses his lips. Oh God. 

"You heard what the radio said. These are unprecedented times. No one really knows what's gonna happen, jellybean, but you probably shouldn't count on going back this year."

I'm silenced by shock.

It was my first year of high school.

Everything was normal four months ago.

I was so ready for the end-of-year formal. Our first aid unit in health. The history test I was gonna retake next week.

I never got to retake that test.

Then I think about her.

Amy.

Amy, my best friend since elementary school. We don't have any classes together but we always find a way to talk either before or after classes, joking and smiling and laughing. We're best friends.

And I'm not gonna see her until September.

Am I even gonna see her? 

"There are now over eight hundred thousand confirmed deaths caused by this virus. Doctors are still trying to find a cure, and urge everyone to please wash their hands and follow guidelines by the CDC."

I'm just being selfish.

#angel writes #writing #covid19