#it's too fun i've spent hours on it the past few days

[castiwls]

unexplained cases

Paring; dean x reader

Requested; @walkinthefairygarden

Synopsis; working as an FBI agent means you were more than used to the unusual but even some things drew the line as to strange for you. Little did you know two brothers were also on the case, and this would lead you down a whole new rabbit hole.

Notes; this is the longest thing I've written for tumblr holy. this idea is lowkey so fun tho!! requests are open!

Masterlist

You were used to strange. You’d spent the last few years of your life dealing with any and all cases which were deemed slightly too abnormal for a normal investigation. You’d seen things most of your colleagues could never imagine, hell even you couldn't have imagined some of the things you’d seen. 

Your time working with the FBI had taught you one thing. People were cruel. Sometimes the worst monsters weren't the ones who lived in the pages of an old Brothers Grimm story, sometimes they were your neighbour or sometimes they were your own family.

It wasn’t abnormal for you to be placed on a case which involved situations where people would go out, have fun, get slightly too drunk and disappear off into the night just to be found the next day in an alleyway by an innocent passerby. More often than not if you found yourself receiving the call that the body that had been found was most likely mutilated in a way that would give most people lifelong trauma.

More often than not after looking around for a little and doing some research into past disappearances you would find a pattern in the victims. They were all young blondes or they were all young men between the ages of 19 and 23. That usually led you to the door of the town's new resident killer who got some sick kick out of killing innocent people and mutilating them to ‘leave their mark’.

But in this case. This was different. It had started out normal enough. Victims in alleyways after nights out. They were all mutilated in some way which led you to the belief that yet again, you had a small-town killer trying to make a name for themselves. 

Yet when the bodies began to be autopsided that was when you began to grow confused and…slightly concerned. Nearly all the victims after death had been drained of more the half of their blood and they all had small hole marks on their necks. 

The corner had laughed joking. “Seem’s we have a town vampire.” And you laughed along while staring confused down at the marks. They were nothing you’d seen before. Maybe you simply had a killer with a creative streak but the killings still left an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

✧.*

“Another one?” You let a sigh fall from your lips as you mindlessly chewed on your nail. “That's the fifth one this week.” You frowned slightly sitting back further into your seat. The police chief continued to fill you in on the latest victim as you stared down at your laptop. None of this made any sense. 

You had a killer. You were sure. But who the hell was draining their victims of more the half of their blood? And where the hell was this blood going? “I’ll be there in an hour.” You nodded to yourself before ending the call and pocketing your phone.

Luckily it didn’t take you long to get down to the bar where the victims all seemed to disappear from. The police chief waved you down as you approached, he passed you a file which detailed the latest victim. “I didn’t know you had a partner agent?” He crossed his arms as spoke.

Your eyes paused on the page as you registered his words. “I don’t,” You said looking up from the file. You started at him confused for a moment. “I’m the only one on this case.” The chief stared back at you his eyes narrowing. “Two other agents came around just before you got here. They said they’d been put on the case after the most recent killing.” He waved a hand at you. “They knew who you were…well claiming to.”

“What were their names?” You racked your mind for a minute trying to think of anyone who could have been placed on this case alongside you but your mind came up empty. Plus if anyone was assigned to help you with this you would have been informed.

“Osburne and Butler.” You looked back down to the file in your hand nodding slowly. You’d never heard of agents with those names before. “Are they still here?” You looked around for a moment before looking back to the chief who nodded before pointing to a black car parked a little down the road. 

Thanking him you began to make your way over to the car. Clearing your throat you came to a stop just before the car. The two men quickly turned, clearly shocked by your appearance. Tilting your head you narrowed your eyes. You’d never seen these men in your life. “Osburne and Butler I take it.” 

They both exchanged a quick look before the taller of the two nodded. “Uh. Yes. Is-is everything okay?” His tone was masked as concern but you could sense his slight nervousness from the way he shifted. “Yes everything is fine,” You crossed your arms over your chest. “I’m just wondering why you two think it's funny to pose as FBI agents and walk right onto a crime scene.” You hardened your gaze, watching in slight amusement as the one who had just spoken swallowed looking at his friend for help.

The other man scoffed rolling his eyes at you. “Listen here sweetheart, I don’t know who you think you are but we're not faking anything.” He gestured between him and his friend. “We got put on this case today, you can call our supervisor if you're so bothered.”

You frowned turning your attention to him. “You can’t have been put on this case.” You reached into your pocket pulling out your ID. “Because it’s my case. And in all my time working with the FBI I have never heard of any agents called Osbourne and Butler,” You placed your ID back in your pocket. “And last time I checked they were both pretty old.” 

You watched as the smaller man’s eyes widened at your words. You knew Black Sabbath? 

They both stared at you for a moment before the taller one smiled grabbing onto his partner's arm. “Excuse us for a minute.” You nodded, a quiet huff falling from your lips.

This was the last thing you needed right now. You watched unimpressed as the two seemed to go back and forth for a minute before the taller one turned back to you. He sent you another smile as he came to stand before you. “We’ll talk to our supervisor and find out what happened.” You nodded, looking back at the other man who was currently leaning back against the car. “Alright,” You nodded. 

You bid the two goodbye before walking back towards the bar where you could see the forensic officers beginning to move the body. You frowned to yourself as you looked back down at the file. 

Something about the two ‘agents’ seemed off to you. There was no way you wouldn’t have been informed. You watched as the body was taken away no doubt to the morgue which would be your next stop, though your mind was still stuck on the two men you’d just met.

You were 90% sure they were not agents, but before you acted on your suspicions you had to be sure. There was a low chance they maybe were who they claimed to be and somehow another division had caught wind of the cases and had decided to butt their head in but still never in your career had you seen that happen.

Pulling your phone from your pocket you quickly checked the time. You had more than enough time left to go check the morgue before doing some digging.

✧.*

Your fist banged against the door again for what felt like the hundredth time. It hadn’t taken you long to figure out that there had never been any agents with the names Osbourne and Butler. It also hadn’t taken you long to find a case from a few years ago that involved another strange span of killings which had ended with the killer supposedly dead. 

Just as you raised your fist again the door suddenly swung open. The man’s eyes widened slightly as he stared at you. He opened his mouth but you quickly cut him off raising a finger. “Dean Winchester. Right?” You smiled sweetly at the man who simply gapped at you for a moment.

He stared at you for a moment before shaking his head. “No. Like we said yesterday, we got put on this case just like you did alright? Now I’d appreciate it if you didn’t show up unannounced.” He sent you a small smirk. “If you really have an issue take it up with your supervisor.” 

You pursed your lips nodding. “Really?” You held up a file watching his face drop slightly. “Because this says, different Dean.” 

You pushed the file you’d been holding into his hands, crossing your arms over your chest. “According to this, you died a few years back. Yet. You look pretty alive to me.” 

Dean looked down at the file before looking back up at you. “This.” He waved the file. “Was a misunderstanding.” He glanced down the hallway seemingly relieved seeing that you were alone. “How did you find us.” He asked crossing his arms over his chest.

You could tell by his body language that he didn’t trust you. The way he glared at you was enough to tell you that he was less than friendly. Though you couldn’t deny the slight pull you felt towards him. 

You’d noticed him back at the bar but had kept a professional facade knowing that you had bigger problems. Though now being closer to him you finally were able to get a good look at the man and it only confirmed your thoughts from before. He was very attractive.

“That doesn’t matter. I’m more concerned about why you and your brother are pretending to work for the FBI.” You tilted your head as you questioned him. Dean rolled his eyes moving to lean against the doorway. “Well. Like you sweetheart, we were also doing our job.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. You narrowed your eyes thinking for a moment. “Your job?” 

He nodded a small smirk growing on his lips. “What job could you possibly have which would require breaking the law.” Just as he opened his mouth to respond the trill of a phone ringing. Reaching into your pocket you pulled out your phone a small sigh leaving your lips as you noticed the caller's ID. “Again.” You mumbled exasperated before sliding your finger across the screen. 

Taking a step back from the doorway you watched as Dean’s gaze softened slightly. He stepped to the side before gesturing for you to come into the room. Furrowing your brows you stood for a moment, listening as the police chief began talking about yet another kill. 

Deciding he seemed relatively harmless you took his offer. When you’d first come you’d been under the opinion that Dean Winchester may have been your killer, and his hostile attitude upon seeing you had only furthered that belief. Yet getting another phone call while he was standing before you made you begin to rethink your original suspicions. 

Taking a seat on one of the beds you sighed. “Two victims,” Dean closed the door before moving to stand a few feet from you. “Alright. I’ll be there in an hour.” You ended the call before groaning. Two victims completely threw your pattern off. 

You looked around the room for a moment as you spoke before a thought hit you. Dean hadn’t been alone yesterday and you’d read on his file that he had a brother. “Where’s your brother?” You looked back over to the man who was watching you from his spot.

“He’s getting food.” Dean shrugged. “So two more victims huh.” He pushed. You nodded. “Yea. Why do you care anyway? What are you some kind of true crime fanatic.” He laughed quietly shaking his head.

“Oh no. It’s a bit more complicated.” He came to sit beside you, passing the file back. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention the whole me not being dead to your boss.” You pursed your lips. “Why would I do that?” 

Dean Winchester being alive was very strange to you, but it wasn’t your issue. “Because we can help each other.” 

Dean gestured between you both. You stared at him confused for a moment. You needed to solve this case, and soon. Too many people were dying and you still had little to no leads on who it could possibly be that was committing these crimes. You thought it over for a moment. You were breaking so many rules even being here. You should have reported this to your supervisor straight away but you’d been curious. 

“Me and my brother, we deal with stuff like this all the time. We can help but I need you to promise not to try and shoot me if I tell you what we actually do for a living, alright?” 

✧.*

Working with the Winchesters was… interesting. 

You really hadn’t thought your life could get any stranger, yet here you were staring down at the bodies of three men. Turns out Sam and Dean Winchester had actually not been FBI agents and instead they spent their time traversing around the country killing ‘monsters.’

You initially laughed in Dean’s face calling him crazy before attempting to leave but he’d been quick to stop you. He’d then sat you down and pretty much showed you every piece of evidence they had to suggest that these killings were far from normal.

“A vampire?” You stared at him astounded as he simply nodded. “Yes. And most likely a werewolf. The killings line up.”

You’d not want to believe him but part of you after looking at the evidence knew he had a point. And so that had sent you down a spiral over the last week where you’d learnt of things that you’d only ever known about in your nightmares.

After that, the three of you quickly began comparing notes on the case. In doing this you’d quickly come to find at least three possible culprits. Each of the men had been seen in the club the night of the killings and they were always seen leaving with someone.

You’d surprisingly found yourself beginning to enjoy the company of the two. You normally worked alone during your cases and had always found that you’d worked better alone but during the last few days, you’d found that you actually enjoyed working with others.

Over the last two days, you’d always found yourself steadily growing closer and closer to the older of the two men. Dean Winchester was someone who you’d originally planned to keep at an arm's distance, but that plan quickly fell away.

You’d found yourself spending most of your time interviewing witnesses with him while Sam had stayed back going over your notes.

“Thank you, we’ll be in touch.” You smiled at the older woman as she said her own goodbyes before closing the door. Dean let out a breath as you walked down the porch steps towards his car. 

“You still think it could be her son?” You stopped beside the car to face him. Dean crossed his arms nodding slowly. “Yeah. Vamps don’t have to be born. The guy could have been bitten she’d be none the wiser.” 

You nodded pulling your lip between your teeth. “Okay. We got our guy.” A wave of relief ran through you as you stood there. For the first time in the case, it seemed like you finally had a strong lead who you were all sure was the killer.

Everything lined up. Now all you had to do was catch the guy. Dean reached into his pocket pulling his keys out. “We should go get Sam before heading to the bar. If he follows his pattern our guy should be there.” 

✧.*

“So. Case closed I guess.” You mumbled looking down at the body. Sam nodded from his spot opposite you. “Yeah.” You reached into your pocket pulling out your phone. You looked between the two.

“I’m gonna need to call this in, you two should probably disappear before the cops get here.” You smiled at the two. Sam nodded before looking over to his brother who was still looking down at the body. “How are you gonna explain this?” He asked pushing a hand into his pocket. 

“Suicide.” You gestured to the body. “Guy went mad, killed people and then couldn’t live with himself.” You shrugged. “It's more common than you’d think.” 

“Thank you. I don’t think I would have been able to do this without your help.” You rubbed a hand behind your neck before turning to Dean. “I’ll make sure your file disappears, just try and not get framed for another murder.” You teased slightly making the two men chuckle.

“I’ll try.” Dean grinned, his gaze settling on you. Over the last few days, you’d noticed the way he looked at you had changed. At first, he’d been hesitant, he’d always looked at you with a sceptical eye as if he was ready for you to flip on them at any moment but over time he’d realised that maybe you actually did want their help.

Maybe you really weren't going to lead him into a trap. And with that realisation, the way he looked at you had softened. He’d let himself become more comfortable in your presence. The way he looked at you now was different again. There was no lie that you felt something towards him. 

You’d resigned yourself to the fact that he was just another one of your passing crushes. You’d finish the case and he’d move on. Yet looking at him now you could swear he looked slightly disappointed.

“I’m gonna go wait in the car. I’ll see you there.” Sam nodded at his brother before sending you another smile and walking away. You both watched him go for a moment before you turned to Dean.

Dean didn’t say anything as he turned back to face you. He swallowed before raising a hand. “I guess I better let you call this in before someone sees us.” He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck before he turned and began walking away.

You stood for a moment before beginning to follow him “Dean. Wait.” At your voice, he paused turning to face you. You stopped a few feet from him before taking a breath. You slowly stepped closer until your chests were practically touching. 

You heard his breath hitch as he stared down at you, his lips parting slightly. Pushing yourself up you connected your lips with his. His hand wrapped around your waist as your own went to his head. 

His thumb rubbed circles against your waist as he slowly pulled back. A slight blush covered your cheeks as you panted softly. “Hey. Why don’t you come with us?” Dean whispered moving a hand to brush against your cheek.

“What?” You gasped, furrowing your brows as you looked at him. His eyes had lit up slightly at the idea and he smiled resting his forehead against yours. “Think about it alright. We’ll stick around for two more days and if you decide you wanna come with…you know where we’ll be.” He pressed his lips against yours again for a moment before pulling back. 

You frowned slightly watching him disappear around the corner before your attention turned back to the body. Pulling out your phone you found the chief's number before pressing call. As it rang you found yourself nervously chewing on your nail.

You felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. Stay here and continue working for the FBI and leave behind a man who you were very much falling in love with or take his offer and discover a whole new world.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester drabble #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester drabble #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester imagine #spn fanfic #spn imagine #supernatural x reader #supernatural imagine #jensen ackles x reader #.mine #.spn #.deanwinchester

[thetriplets3]

whispering to each other + searching for the other’s hand in bed like theyre both tired but cant fall asleep (matt or chris x y/n or smt)

❝𝐢’𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰❞

pairing: matt x reader (no defined relationship but mutual pining?)

warnings: brief mention of anxious thoughts, loneliness, depression, vague mention of suicidal wishes

a/n special thanks to @dwntwn-strnlo for editing this you’re the best and shoutout to whoever it was to color code dialogue i took that idea anyways enjoy 🍿

having my 3 best friends away on tour was hard enough but having a rough few weeks physically and mentally on top of that was really hard on me. since i've moved here i haven't really made any friends. parties, events, and crowded loud places aren't my thing which makes it hard to meet people. sure i've met people the odd time the boys dragged me out but i was never able to hold a conversation let alone willingly go up to people. which brings me to now.

the triplets asked if i wanted to come on tour with them but i was in the middle of the semester, the busiest time. so i've spent the past few weeks alone, only leaving when i had to work. it sucks having no one to be able to go do things with, to talk to, and to just be there.

mindlessly clicking through the stories of people i follow, just trying to distract myself from my own thoughts, my screen reveals the faces of the only people i wish i were with right now. my heart aches watching them have the time of their lives being able to explore places they always dreamed of and getting to show their personalities on stage. don't get me wrong i'm beyond happy for them and how successful they’ve become the last few years, but i just wish i were with them. quickly hearting matt’s story of him posing in front of the bean in chicago, i drop my phone beside me and get under my covers, curling up. he seemed so happy being on tour.

i lie there, thoughts wandering, and tears gently flowing as i realize how truly alone i am. my thoughts are disrupted when i feel my bed softly vibrate. lazily rolling over, i grab my phone only to be met with a text from the person i yearned for the most. matt.

heyyy look who’s alive!

where’ve ya been it’s been a while since any of us heard from you?

you doing okay?

unfortunately i've been busy, midterm term time sorry edited

i’m fine

looks like tour’s fun, you look happy

unfortunately? please take time for yourself too you can only do so much if you’re not at your best

you’ll do great on them don’t overwork yourself love

it’s a blast seeing new places, meeting new people, i just wish you were here

shoot i forgot you can see what the other person edited

i was kidding. i’ll try

i wish i was there i miss you but it makes me happy seeing you be successful

we’ll be home before you know it i miss you too

and with that i turn my phone off for the night and bury myself under my covers in a desperate attempt to shut my brain off from thinking things it shouldn't. as the hours passed i tossed more and more not able to fall asleep, stay asleep and get comfortable. peeking at my clock to see the glowing 6:44am, i roll over shoving my face into my pillow and let out an unnecessarily loud groan. seeing no point staying in bed just to not be able to sleep i pad my way to the living room, claiming it my spot for the day. i put on a random season of the office to fill the silence and loneliness that i've sadly become used to. having seen the office far too many times, it's become a comfort background show, making it easy for me to fall asleep.

i accidentally ordered a package to your house from the last time you used my amazon prime to order something. it says it’s been delivered could you just put it aside for me? have a good day

staring at my phone i reread matt's text a few times, my mind still fuzzy and confused thanks to my lack of sleep. finally understanding it after the 5th time, i wrap my blanket around my body and trudge over to the door to pick it up. opening the door and checking the ground for a package i'm met with beat up air forces instead. startled, my head whips just to confirm it's who i thought it was.

matt.

all the loneliness, emptiness, sadness, yearning to see you hit me at once, a wave of tears overcame me as i engulf you in a hug nearly sending you and i to the floor. no words have been spoken, there's no need to. i immediately bury my head into your chest, your one hand coming to cradle my head as the other holds me securely to your body. we stay like this for a few minutes before you slightly pull away grabbing my hands and placing them around your neck, sneaking a quick peck to my cheek as you do so. your hands snake around my waist and gently lift me, bringing both of us into my house. closing the front door we make our way to the living room sitting on the couch turning to face each other.

god i missed you. today was our last day of tour but we were gonna stay there and explore the city for a few days but i couldn’t wait any longer i needed to see you. i was worried about you and couldn't bare the thought of being away for another second.

i missed you more. things haven’t been right since you guys left

like what?

it feels stupid to say out loud but ive felt so alone. like i have no one other than you guys and that makes me feel so pathetic that i rely on you guys so much. i haven't been able to sleep that much my mind just won't shut up i kept thinking about you guys and worrying about something bad happening to you it's stupid i know. heavily sighing i roughly wipe my face drying the tears that i tried so desperately to not let fall.

hey what did we talk about? every thought and feeling is valid they’re not stupid don’t say that.

you stand and offer me your hand and lead me to my room where we crawl into bed. you pull me as close to you as you possibly can. my head on your chest with my arm loosely draped across your body, your cotton shirt carelessly balled up in my hand. your arms wrapped around my torso like your life depended on it. god i missed this

i’m here now okay? everything’s okay, i’m okay, my brothers are okay, nothing happened to us. we’re not going anywhere for a while and when we do your coming with us. and don’t try and say you won’t be able to because of school, you’re coming no matter what. i can’t go that long without you, nothings the same

i won’t put up a fight i don’t want to do this again this was horrible being alone for so long. i missed being in your arms, feeling like nothing bad will ever happen because i have you here

as you place a gentle kiss to the top of my head a comfortable silence falls over us and we bask in this moment of being in each others arms again. my eyes grow heavy but my body is still fighting sleep like it has for the past few weeks

you can sleep now i’m here i’m not going anywhere i promise. i love you so much sweet girl

with the hushed tone of your voice and gentle pecks on my forehead, i feel my body grow heavier with sleep. i blindly reach my hand around searching for yours which you seem to pick up on what i wanted, placing your hand on mine and give it a squeeze once and a while letting me know you're right there.

goodnight sweet girl. i’m right here

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs

(i can’t remember who it was but i saw someone color coded the dialogue and that makes it so much easier to read so shoutout to you if it was you)

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #readers pov

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Tour de Richmond

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader

Summary: Jamie gives you a tour of Richmond as well as gets to know you better. When you tell your cousin of his teammate's generosity, he suddenly becomes a bit hostile towards Jamie.

Meet Cousin McAdoo | Caffeine Crash

A/N: i looked up the bare minimum of the Richmond area. if anything is wrong, please let me know!

"So you've been around here, yeah?" Jamie asks, gesturing to the small shops that neighbors the cafe you were just at.

"A bit. Haven't really gone in any of these shops. But they're cute!"

"We can pop in a few if you'd like?" he suggests, pointing to a bookshop to your left.

"Another time."

Jamie shrugs, "Suit yourself."

He guides you away from the shops and towards, "The Richmond Green. The general gathering spot for people here. Kids like to play football here. There's sometimes cricket tournies here too."

You smile at the gathering of people scattered around the green acres. You see a small group of people doing yoga, three teens kicking a football around, people walking their dogs around. It's a very comforting atmosphere.

Jamie does his best not to be obvious about looking at you. He finds himself smiling to himself because you seem to find joy in the sights before you. He then turns to the view and realizes that he's never really enjoyed watching everything and everyone. He's always ran past them all during trainings and whatnot.

"Sorry, is it okay if we sit down and people watch for a little?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," he follows you to a bench where you both sit down.

You sit your drink and stare, "It's nice to just sit here and watch everything. I find it very calming. I don't get to do it much back home, though, always too busy with work and life."

"I don't think I've ever done this. I felt like I need to be on the go, ya know? Spend my time trying to get better, improvin' and all that."

You turn your attention to him, "You've never given yourself a break? What do you do during the off season? Don't you go on vacation?"

He shrugs, "I'm busy practicin'. I'll visit me mum and Simon sometimes, but they're doing their own travelin' a lot of the time," he nudges you with his shoulder, "What about you? Have you done any travelin'?"

"When my aunt married Isaac's uncle, that was the first time I travelled. They had a destination wedding in France. Wanted to be in the city of love and romance. That's where I met Isaac. We became really close through that trip. He's like my big brother. Always looking out for me." you take another sip of your drink and stand to your feet, "Okay. I'm ready to continue."

Jamie follows as you two continue to walk around the green. He points over in one direction, "Right there is the Richmond Palace. The Tudors lived there and some shit. Over there is the Richmond Theater. They do plays and stuff there."

You snort at Jamie's explanations, "Some tour guide you are! You're not going to give me a brief history on the town or these historic landmarks?" you give him a playful smirk.

He chuckles, "I'm sorry I didn't do me homework before offerin' you a tour. Here," he pulls out his phone, quickly typing something and clearing his throat, "Richmond was founded following King Henry VII's building in the 16th century of Richmond Palace.  The town and palace became particularly associated with Queen Elizabeth I , who spent her last days there," he lowers his phone down, smirking at you, "Better?"

You giggle, "You're funny. Are all of Isaac's teammates like you?"

"Nah. I'm the best outta all of them. I'm the funniest, best lookin'-"

"Most humble," you add with jest.

Jamie's smiling at you. He enjoys your company. He feels at ease around you and he's only spent maybe an hour in your presence. He likes this little back and forth you and he seem to be doing. It's nice. It's fun. Maybe-

A ringing comes from your bag and you swiftly pull your phone out, answering, "Good morning, sleepy head...I woke up early and thought I'd grab a coffee," you roll your eyes, "Don't be dramatic, Isaac, I'm an adult. I can handle myself...I'm not alone. Jamie." you sigh, "Yes, Jamie Tartt. Hold on," you pull the phone away from you and hold it out to Jamie, "He wants confirmation I'm really with you?"

Jamie takes the phone and presses it to his ear, "Yeah, what's good, man?"

"You better keep her safe, bruv. If anything happens to her-"

"Oi! Chill man! We're just walking around the fuckin' park."

"I'm serious, Jamie."

"We'll be fine. She's a grown adult, man. Let her be," he hands the phone back to you.

"If you're going to be like this my entire visit, I'm getting a hotel, Isaac...yes, I'm serious! ...again, I can handle myself. I'll see you soon. Bye!" you immediately end the call and take a long sip from your coffee.

"I get he loves you and all, but Jesus. I can practically see that vein in his head ready to pop out."

You burst out laughing, "I know exactly what you're talking about! Also the way he frowns when he's all serious. Like," you do your best impression of Isaac frowning and Jamie laughs, "That's pretty good."

"Thanks," you reply with a smile, "I'm sorry about Isaac, by the way. Like I said, he's like my big brother and he sometimes takes the role too seriously. But he means well."

"I know. He's a good guy."

Another hour goes by of you and Jamie chatting, him occasionally pointing out some other Richmond landmarks. It was a very pleasant morning spent. He walked you all the way back to Isaac's.

"Thank you, Jamie. This morning was fun."

"I'm glad. Sorry again for crashin' into ya like that."

You shrug, "It's okay. It led to a fun little adventure with you."

Jamie slowly backs away from you, "See ya around."

"See ya!" you wave as he's lightly jogging down the street. You continue to watch him as he fades from view. There's a little fluttering in your chest and you feel a bit giddy.

You open the door to Isaac's and you yelp in surprise as he's standing there, arms over his chest, looking very stern.

"Uh, hi?"

"Did Jamie try anything?"

"What? No! He just gave me a tour of the town!"

"So he didn't try to kiss you or nothin'?"

You roll your eyes, "Nothing happened, Isaac. And if something did, it's none of your business! Besides, I thought you said Jamie is a better person now."

"Doesn't mean he can date you."

"Whatever," you pass him and head to the kitchen to make yourself a snack.

#jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader

[aspendragonfly]

Requested by: @bzzyb00-96

Anything for You

Vox x GN Reader

A/n: Istg I've been watching the Newsies so much just within the past few days, like this is my third time watching it while writing this 💃 Anyways, had a lot of fun writing this! This is my first time writing anything for characters so I hope it turned out good 🙏 Also! This took a bit longer to post just because I spent like 10 hours on that damn drawing trying to get it right 💀 Next time I'm not drawing a full ass character in a pose, especially bc I won't have time during the week-

Warnings: slight cursing like twice but that's it- also might be ooc but eh, what can you do 🤷‍♀️

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It wasn't often that Vox had time to relax. A majority of his time was filled with meetings, filing out paperwork, and airing on his show. It didn't help that nearly every other day he had to deal with Valentino's constant temper tantrums. Because of this, Vox grew to appreciate your company a lot more. Your voice alone was enough to ease his aches and worries- which is why he couldn't say no to a movie night in the comfort of your shared bedroom.

"Would you want to bake something before we watch a movie? I was thinking chocolate chip cookies because we have the ingredients for it and I figured you wouldn't want to head out and buy ingredients." You said in that sickeningly sweet tone of yours. He swore you did it on purpose sometimes.

A chuckle left his lips- or, screen? "Anything for you, sweetheart." As the both of you made your way into the kitchen, you spent the remainder of the time mixing the ingredients together. Occasionally you two would bicker about what the right measurements were.

"I'm pretty sure it's half a cup of sugar, doll face." He crossed his arms in amusement.

"And I'm pretty sure I know how to read, dumbass. Look, it says one cup right there." You handed your phone to him and pointed to where it said 1 cup of granulated sugar. Just as you were about to tease him about being wrong, he burst your bubble.

"You do remember that we're halving the recipe, right? You were the one that suggested it in the first place" A smirk lit up his screen as realization dawned on you.

"Right- I knew that" Your face turned hot with embarrassment as you waved off his remark and measured out 1/2 a cup of sugar.

"Sure you did, sweetheart-"

"Oh shut up!" You elbowed him in the side with a huff, focusing on the task at hand. Vox simply chuckled before leaning in and placing a kiss on the top of your head. You had gotten used to the staticky feeling his kisses left, and even found it endearing.

After a while the cookies had finally finished baking, which you had all but shoved Vox away insisting you take it out of the oven. "Stand back, Princess, wouldn't want you frying your circuits now." He scoffed at the remark, leaning against the counter as you put on oven mitts and carefully grabbed the tray of freshly baked cookies. The sweet aroma filled the air around the both of you making you wish you hadn't halved the recipe.

Vox made his way into the pantry to grab a package of popcorn and

The two of you settled into the couch once the snacks were prepped and turned on a random shitty romcom- as Vox had put it. The movie slowly became background noise as his attention focused on you curled up by his side. He had to admit, it all seemed so domestic with you. Healthy relationships were foreign to him before you entered his life if that wasn't apparent with Valentino. Even while he was alive he always spent too much time focusing on his work to have a lasting relationship. You, on the other hand, were always so patient and caring with him- you knew he had a lot on his plate with being the head of VoxTech and made sure he took breaks, made sure he ate and drank, and you let him know if he did anything wrong. And God was he grateful for you. He always asked himself what he did to deserve someone like you... but despite it all, the one thing that ran through his head was how he would do anything for you. He planted a soft kiss on the top of your head, his screen resting there for a few seconds before focusing his attention back onto the movie.

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Hope you all enjoyed this one! I genuinely don't think I like it 🥰 But that could just be because I was too distracted by the Newsies soundtrack while writing this 🧍‍♀️

#Vox x Reader #Vox #Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin hotel vox

[seventeenpins]

wanna be felled by you, held by you

pairing: Joel Miller x nonbinary!Reader

word count: 4.7k

summary: Joel has always issues with relinquishing control. Time in the safety and community of Jackson has changed him, though, and he wants to give all his control to you, let you pull him apart.

content/warnings: established relationship, non-binary transmasculine reader, no implied age gap, Joel is uncircumcised, vaguely implied past Joel x Reader x Tess polycule, Joel calls you sir & daddy, you call Joel a good boy, sub!joel, cock sucking, titty fucking (reader has breasts big enough to partake in such), face sitting, piv, a smidge of dysphoria alluded to, crying, everyone's bi, one (1) smack to the face, it's literally just 4.3k of smut with 400 words of domesticity, slight bit of bloodthirstiness (but just as love as consumption)

a/n: title from NFWMB by Hozier. There's a lot of fic out there with helpless naive reader (which is fucking excellent, don't get me wrong), but I wanted to write something where you and Joel are on par with one another. Also, wanted to say--this is written as one character's experience as a nonbinary person. I'm nonbinary, but in no way want to suggest that the way I've written this is necessarily a universal nonbinary experience. Pls be kind 💜 Would love to know if y'all like this and would read more nb reader fics!!

✨check out my masterlist for other fics 😚✨

The first time Joel asked you to blindfold him and fuck him rough, you thought he was joking.

You laughed and stroked his cheek, "That would be fun," you admitted, teasing, "Be careful what you wish for, baby."

He rolled his eyes and kissed you, and the day went on, uneventful.

The thought weighed on you. It would be fun, but this was Joel Miller talking. He was, arguably, something of a control freak. Insistent on shouldering burdens not only his own, but of all the people he loved. You'd never seen him willingly give up an ounce of control, and the few unwilling times it'd happened, he would drive himself nearly to death trying to seem unaffected by injury. He'd carry on as he insisted he must, even when his bones were broken or he was bleeding out. Even when you, or Ellie, or, Tess (back in the day) were patching up cuts or setting bones, he'd grumble and insist he was fine, only shutting up when he quite literally passed out from the pain or blood loss. He was as stubborn as he was devoted, and he was a devoted man.

So the idea of Joel relinquishing even a crumb of control seemed outlandish. You were a better shot than him. A faster runner, too. But he was so self-possessed. You were certain, too, it was part of the reason he was such a good fuck. He payed attention to every detail, noticed every one of your gasps and whines, at this point able to get you off faster than you could get yourself off. His fingers knew right where to press, his tongue licking and sucking at you, teeth biting at nipples, grip bruising you so deliciously. He could fuck you for hours and leave you stumbling, spent and sated.

That said, it'd be a lie to say it was an unappealing thought to turn the tables on him.

You'd love to pull him apart piece by piece, if he would ever let you.

Joel was off patrolling today, due back any time, and you were making dinner. You were thankful for the ingredients available in Jackson and swore to make good use of them, every single time.

You'd roasted butternut squash with garlic and sage, scooped out the flesh, and mixed it with spinach and cheese. Then, carefully piped it back into the squash skins and roasted it again.

It was decadent, and a favorite of yours. Rich and creamy and everything you loved about autumn flavors.

Right as you were turning the oven on to broil, you heard the latch click and heavy footsteps crossed the threshold.

"Supper's nearly ready," you call, and you hear a soft grumble from across the room as he stomped off his boots and hung up his coat.

Joel slides up behind you, arms circling around your stomach, chin resting on your shoulder.

"Hey baby," you greet, turning your head to place a kiss on the curve of his nose. "Good day?"

"Hmm," he grunts, noncommittal, "Better now that I'm home with you. Dinner smells great."

"Just a few more minutes left. Letting the cheese get bubbly."

"Mmm," he groaned, "Is this that squash thing?"

"Yep."

"Ellie home?"

"Nah. Out for the night, I think."

"So I get you all to myself?" He shoots you a cheeky grin.

"Don't distract me, Miller," you snort, "You will not cause me to burn dinner again, so help me God."

"Distract you?" He says in mock offense as he walks over to the fridge, "I would never distract you, baby."

He pulls out two beers and pops the tops, handing one to you. You clink with him and both take a swig. Jackson beer was something else. After years of nothing even slightly palatable, it was a luxury you swore you would never take for granted again.

Your timer buzzes and you pull the roasting pan out of the oven as Joel sets the table.

Dinner is pleasant. Joel's famished from patrol and he wolfs down his first serving at a speed that might have rivalled Ellie's, back when you were all travelling together. He finishes his first beer, and then a second, and when he reaches for the whiskey, you raise an eyebrow at him.

"You're really putting that away," you frown, and he winces, sheepish.

"I-" He starts, and stumbles, hesitating.

"You okay, Joel?" You ask.

He nods, and grins, and it's a funny grin because if you didn't know better you'd think he was nervous.

"I'm a bit nervous," he says, and your eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"Why you nervous baby? Did something go bad on patrol?"

"No, I-"

"You trying to propose?" you tease, "Wait, no--you're cheating on me?"

"Oh shut up," he rolls his eyes and laughs. "Nothin' so serious."

"So-?" you press, "What is it then?"

He pours a finger of whiskey and takes a sip, and it's calculated. Calming. That bit of control, again, he needs to put off.

"You remember the other week, what I said?"

"My back hurts?" you suggest.

"Smartass," he snorts.

"My knees hurt."

"Jesus. No, the other thing."

You try and take account of whatever it might be, but nothing's coming to you.

"I have no clue what you're talking about, Joel."

He takes a deep breath and looks at you dead in the eye. Determined.

"I know you thought I was joking, but I wasn't joking," he says, "I want you to blindfold me. Fuck me rough. Let me... lose myself in you. Use me."

There's a moment of silence.

"You sure, Joel?" you ask, not wanting to sound too eager. "Cos I'm happy to do it, I just know that... well. If I were to expect anyone would like to be blindfolded, you're not at the top of my list."

"Oh really? And who's at the top of your list."

"Well, I bet Tommy would--"

Joel cuts you off with a sputtering cough as his whiskey goes down wrong. "Let's not talk about my brother right now."

"I remember Tess used to," you recall, and Joel nods. Shrugs.

"I guess I just- I've never seen you out of control. You sure you can do that for me?"

Joel ponders and nods. "I can be good for you," he insists.

"Okay, then," you tell him, "When do you wanna do this?"

"Well," he grins, and runs a hand down your arm, "Like you said, we'll be alone tonight."

"Joel Miller, you absolute freak," you tease and he grumbles.

You ponder for a moment before nodding. "Okay, baby, let's get showered and then we can start. I'm covered in cooking sweat, and I think you might still have a bit of clicker gunk on you."

He brushes at a chunk of something in his hair and grimaces. "I'll take care of dishes later. Let's go, baby."

Shower sex wasn't really your thing; there was always less friction than you'd expect, and one person would hog the water while the other was standing, freezing in the extraneous spray. It was easy to slip, and the angle was never quite right.

You did, however, love shower foreplay.

You let Joel run his hands across your back, spreading suds up and down you, rubbing at the sore impressions where your binder had cut into you throughout the day. You loved feeling his body, slick from the wet with coarse curls of hair across his entire chest, trailing down his torso, his belly, into the thick thatch between his legs. More than anything, though, you loved feeling his cock hardening against your leg as he massaged conditioner into your scalp, before you could turn around and return the favor.

Once you were both clean, you made your way to the bedroom.

Thankful that you'd changed the sheets this morning, you were thrilled that the bed was made with your favorite linen sheets. A little luxury that you could bask in, sensation that always delivered.

"You ready, Joel?" you ask, and he nods.

"Let's do it."

From the box under the bed, you pull out the blindfold. A makeshift piece that was once a sleeping mask, cut and stitched to have long, tying ends that could be pulled taught and prevent any light getting in. The two of you didn't use it often, and you'd been the only one to ever wear it, but it helped that it was a familiar thing.

"Sit," you tell him, and he backs up on to the bed. You take a moment to look him up and down, drink him in. You want him to see how you're looking at him. At all of him. From his freshly washed feet to his heavy, half-hard cock, to the damp curls of his salt-and-pepper hair, you want him to know exactly what it is you see. A man. A partner. A whole fucking meal.

You hold the blindfold up to him and wrap it around his head, crossing the ends over front and back again before giving it a little tug.

"Can you see anything?" you ask, and his face twitches a little as he tests it.

"No," he confirms, "Can't see a thing."

"Okay," you tell him, "Good boy."

He lets out a sharp, surprised exhale and you immediately see how his cock stiffens at your words.

"Oh, you like that, huh?" you ask, and he nods.

"Use your words, Joel," you tell him and he scrambles to obey.

"Yes, yes, sir, I like that."

"Mmm," you hum in affirmation, "Glad to hear it."

You start torturously slow, directing him as needed.

"Lay back," you tell him, "All the way on the bed," and he does, inching his way up.

"Arms up, too," you command, "You don't get to touch me without my say-so, got it?"

He lets out a grumble but nods.

"I'm gonna take my time with you," you tell him, and now you're making your way up the bed, close to straddling him, but not letting an inch of your skin press against his hard cock.

You know that the warmth of your cunt is radiating heat towards him, and that he can feel it as his hips unconsciously buck up towards you, focused enough that he still doesn't dare touch you, but not by much. You feel yourself start to get wet at the sight of him laid bare before you. It's times like these that you're awe-struck. So in love with this man you want to slice him open and bury yourself in the sticky wet viscera. Eat his guts. Kill for him. Die for him. Consume every part of him and let him consume you.

You lean over his body and press kisses to every silvered scar you can find. From his forehead, to the old bullet wound on his arm. Down his chest, his belly. The gouge you and Ellie had had to stitch up years ago, ugly and pink and perfect; a testament to his endurance.

Every press of your lips to his skin and Joel is gasping. You know he's feeling it--the thing you like most about being blindfolded is not knowing where sensation will occur next. Not being able to anticipate a touch here, a bite there, the way his hands grip your body. The surprise is part of the allure, and with every kiss you place on his bare skin, he lets out another shuddering breath.

"You're doing good for me," you praise, and you swear you can see him blush, his cheeks reddening beneath the blindfold.

You start slowly, dragging your calloused fingertips from the swell of his thighs, up his torso to his nipples, pinching them a little, delighting in the way he shudders at the sensation. You avoid his cock, but every time you run your fingers along his inner thighs, he would rut up towards you in a mortifying involuntary motion.

He was so eager. He was so fucking perfect. Exactly what you needed. You were so grateful, every day, that you'd made it this far when it had often felt impossible that you might live another day.

"Gonna let me play with you the way I want to?" you ask, and he nods, vigorous.

"So good for me," you tell him, "So good. Hard for me, ready for me to use, huh?"

"Yes," he agreed, "Use me, please."

You rub your drooling pussy against his length, getting it wet and slick. Then, you take his cock in your hand.

He wasn't expecting it and he's shuddering at the sensation. "It's so much," he whispers, awed.

Joel thrusts into your hand as you start pumping along his length in earnest. Your thumb swipes over his slit, and then slides down, gripping with your forefinger as you apply pressure to the base of his shaft, You watch as the blood vessels swell, your hands working as a pseudo-cock ring, and Joel whimpers and pants against the sensation.

"Look at how fat your cock is for me," you praise, "I can't wait to sit on this."

Joel's inhale sounds ragged and worn, and he exhales something close to a sob.

"Feel so good, honey," he tells you, "Fuck, your hands feel so good around me."

"You like this, huh, Joel?" you ask, and you know it's true. He's so hard, rubbing against you as he gives you all his faith, all his trust.

"Yes, Christ, yes!-" he gasps.

You give him a few more strokes and then lower yourself over him, holding your breasts tight together, letting his hard cock press up between them.

Your breasts weren't your favorite thing, God knows if top surgery were a safe option in this world you'd probably opt for it, but apart from an occasional dysphoric spell, you'd more or less made peace with that part of yourself. You knew, too, how Joel loved feeling the plush of your breasts against his skin, and when you were comfortable, you were happy to make the most of them.

The second you slid his cock between your heavy breasts, Joel lets out a strangled groan. "God, yes baby," he heaves, and without thinking, reaches to grab at you, clutching your shoulder with one hand and burying his hand in your hair with the other.

You immediately stop and draw back, delivering a firm smack to his jaw. Not enough to hurt, just enough to startle, and he reels back, throwing his head back onto the pillow.

"The fuck did I say, hmm?" you ask, and he lets out a breath.

"I'm sorry baby, sorry sir-"

"You know what you did wrong?"

"Touched you-" his breathing is heavy, labored in the most beautiful, raw way. "Touched you without your permission."

"That's right," you tell him. You drag your fingertips through his hair, along his scalp, down his neck and across his chest. He shudders and his hips buck up towards nothing, involuntary.

"You gonna be good for me now?" you ask him and he nods, vigorous.

"I'll be good for you," he hisses, "You're so good to me, fuck, thank you, thank you-!"

You lean back down, pressing your breasts together again. Fisting his cock and stroking it, watching him squirm. You press down again, letting him fuck up between your tits.

"Don't move," you warn him when you see his fingers start to twitch, "Keep those hands above your head and let me make you feel good."

"Yes sir-"

"Good boy."

He groans, and you start to move. Pressing your breasts tighter together, swallowing his length entirely, gliding up and down. You feel the slick of his tip starting to weep precum, smell the delicious tang of it.

With your free hand, you swipe a thumb over his head, delighting in the way he squirms and ruts against you.

You lick the slickness off your thumb and moan. "Taste so good, baby," you tell him, "You wanna try it?"

"Oh fuck, yes, please," he whines.

You swipe your thumb over his slit again and bring it up to his mouth, still sliding your breasts up and down his length.

"Open up," you direct, prodding at the side of his mouth. He does, opens his mouth with a shuddering breath, tongue glistening and ready. You press your thumb against his tongue and he licks and sucks at it greedily.

"Look at you," you tell him, "Licking up your own cum like a good boy, huh? So fucking good for me."

"Thank you sir," he hums, and you give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'm gonna suck your cock now, Joel," you tell him, "And then I'm gonna ride you. And I'm gonna get myself off at least three times on you before you get to come. You got that?"

"Jesus Christ," he groans, "Yes-! Can I-" he cuts himself off.

"What?" you ask.

"Can I eat your pussy?" he asks.

You grin. "Ooh, look at you," you tell him, "Taking the initiative, huh? What a good boy you are. But you gotta be patient for me."

You scoot back on the bed and let a string of saliva drip from your mouth onto the head of his cock. He immediately shudders and fucks his hips up towards the air.

"Blindfold still blocking everything, yeah?" you ask.

"Yeah," he confirms, "Can't see a thing."

"Good," you say, and then without an ounce of warning, you grip his cock, stroking down, pulling his foreskin back and plunging the hot wet gash of your mouth down and around his entire length, nose pressing into the sweaty curls at his base.

The shout he lets out is delicious. Loud and strangled, half an exclamation, half a curse–"Fuck baby, Jesus fuckin' Christ that mouth feels so fucking good. I don't fuckin' deserve you, don't deserve how fuckin' perfect you are, how good you make me feel-"

You bob your head up and down, swallowing him deep and then pulling back, making sure to swirl your tongue along his head.

"So damn good," he gasps, and his words are stilted and broken.

You keep going, for maybe a minute, maybe an hour. The sensation is too much and he's panting and gasping. "I can't-" he cries, "you're gonna make me come, please-"

You pull off immediately, and he hisses at the loss of your lips around him, and then moans into your mouth when you lean in to lick against his tongue, letting him taste every bit of his own musk.

"You're doing good, baby," you praise, loving the way he shudders in response. "Now hold still, I'm gonna ride that cock."

You straddle his hips, swipe your cunt along his length, feeling the way he shakes and twitches against you. You're wet, so damn turned on, soaking, trailing your slick along him as you rut up against him. Then, you fist his cock and, excruciatingly slowly, sink down onto him.

The broken wail that escapes his lips is delicious, ragged and beautiful.

You bounce up and down, watching with pleasure as Joel's fingers twitch, like he's trying so hard not to reach for you, grab for you like he usually does.

You rock along his length, sliding up and down, nearly unseating him from you before sinking back down. You find the right angle for his cock head to press just right against that sweet spot and feel your legs start to shake.

"I can feel it," he grunts, teeth bared, "Feel you getting close."

"Think you deserve to feel me come around you?" You ask, and you can feel it approach. "Think you can feel me come all over this dick and you won't come yourself?"

"Yes, sir," he cries out, "I'll be so good for you. Won't come till you let me."

"Good boy," you stroke his cheek and rub your thumb over your clit in punishing circles, feel your pussy start to clench.

"Gonna ride this out," you tell him, and feel yourself tip over the edge with a broken gasp. Your walls throb around him, pulsing tightly, and Joel looks absolutely pained as you slam yourself down him over and over, practically choking his cock with your tightness.

You're heaving and half-overstimulated but the way he looks wrecked is so beautiful you need more.

"Think you can handle another one?" You ask and he splutters a gasp.

"Already?" he breathes.

You keep your thumb pressing circles round your clit as you keep riding.

"Already." You agree. You've barely finished riding through the aftershocks but you're so wound up, you know you can get yourself there quickly.

"Fuck," Joel whines, "Oh god, oh god-"

You feel yourself start to tip over the edge again and Joel's face is screwed up in concentration, doing his absolute best not to bust in you before he has your permission. His cheeks and chest are flushed, sweat dripping down his temple, soaking into the blindfold. He breathes ragged, heaving breaths and the sight before you makes you come all that much harder.

"God, you feel so fucking good, baby," you tell him, and your pussy's still clenching around him, your slick gushing around him, drenching his thighs.

You pull off of him and he chokes at the loss of contact.

"Gotta taste us now, baby. Clean this pussy up. When you're done, I'll let you come."

He nods, eager, and opens his mouth, his tongue waiting to taste you.

"Need you down the bed," you tell him, and he scoots down, tongue still out. You climb up his body, straddling his stomach and his chest, trailing slick all up his torso, before resting your knees on either side of his face and slowly lowering down.

He's so dedicated, the moment he feels your heat near him you can see the way his mouth waters, his tongue darting out to find your folds. He licks you deep and long, groaning at the taste.

"How do we taste?" you ask, and his exhale is shaky and rough.

"Never tasted anythin' this good in my life." He tells you, wrecked. "We taste so fuckin' good together. Could drink ya all day long."

"We might have to try that," you ponder, "But for now, I just need you to give me one more. Can you do that? One more, baby boy?"

"Fuck, yes sir." He nods his head vigorously and reaches his neck up to press his lips back to your dripping cunt.

"Yeah, that's it. Nice long strokes now, yeah? You gotta swallow every drop of me baby, every drop of this pussy juice I can give you."

He grunts an affirming noise and does as you ask. Long licks from taint to clit. Deep, hot, laving wetness, making you jerk and mewl, riding his face like he was made to take it. Maybe he was.

"When it's good and clean," you instruct, "I need you to focus on this clit, yeah? That's it, baby, point your tongue. Press hard. I've already come twice and I'm nearly numb– Need that extra bit of sensation if you're gonna get me off right, and I know you will get me off right if you wanna come tonight."

Every sound he makes is akin to a whine, a gasp, a sob. He buries his face deep, at one point nearly reaching up to grab your thighs and pull you closer, but he realizes his mistake before he starts to touch you.

"Good boy remembering the rules," you praise, and you grab him by the wrists, holding them against the bed, above his head. You sink lower, letting yourself nearly suffocate him, but he doesn't mind. He loves it. Growls into your pussy and eats you till tears are pooling in his eyes and your legs are trembling so hard you're worried any extra sensation might topple you over. It's building quick and fast and so fucking nice.

"Joel, I-" you stumble, nearly unable to speak. Overwhelmed. "I think I'm gonna come again." You say, and you feel the rumble of his affirmation against you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, yes just like that, you eat pussy so fucking good, I'm gonna, I'm gonna-"

You come with a scream, thighs smothering him, hips rocking against his chin, his tongue, his nose. The scratch of his patchy beard feels incredible against your soft skin and you fuck his face hard, less careful than ever before about how you sink into him.

Catching your breath, sated, you pull yourself up and off Joel, licking his face clean of your cum as you allow him to catch his breath.

"Done so good for me," you tell him, "You ready to come now too?"

"Yes-" he cries, still gasping for breath, "Yes, sir."

"Can't believe we've never done this before," you praise, "You're a natural. Just gotta give up a little control like a good boy, let daddy make you feel good."

He shudders and twitches, groaning at the name you've given yourself.

You turn your attention back to his cock and nearly gasp. It looks red and angry with need, precum catching at his foreskin before overflowing, streaming down his length.

"Where do you want to come?" you ask him, giving him this one concession.

"Huh?" he asks, clearly surprised.

"In me?" you suggest, "On me? Pick a hole. Pick a body part. It's yours."

"Jesus," he groans, and thinks. "Your mouth," he decides, "Wanna come in that sweet mouth."

"It's yours."

You seat yourself at the end of the bed and give him a few kitten licks, loving the way he hisses as you clean the arousal off of him. "You can come for me whenever you want, now, baby," you tell him. "Did so good, I think you deserve it."

"Thank you," he cries, "Fuck, thank you baby."

You pull his foreskin back again and wrap your lips around his throbbing head, loving the taste of the tangy musk of the nectar spilling from him. You don't go down far, just around the head and back again, just a little. Sucking hard. Licking. Drinking him in. He shudders and gasps and cries and you're pretty sure he's weeping at this point, his hips bucking up, pressing his cock deeper and deeper down your throat.

You let him. He's certainly earned it by now.

In a few moments, his thrusts get erratic, and you run your teeth gently along the pulsing veins, marveling at the beautiful, intricate web of life that rushes through him, red and hot and so close to the surface. Blood pumping so fast and thick.

"I'm comin'-" he chokes, and suddenly, hot sputtering bursts of cum filling your mouth, coming and coming and coming till it's dripping out the sides of your lips and dripping down your chin.

You keep a hand around the base of his cock, jacking him gently till you're sure everything he has to give is in you. Running a hand up his body, you delight in the harsh, heavy breaths he gasps out.

Groping around his head, you pull at the blindfold, tugging gently till it's pulled above his eyes. He scrunches them closed for a moment, readjusting to the lit room, before looking at you, jaw dropped.

You're sitting before him, totally bare, skin sticky with sweat, thighs glistening, and his cum in your mouth, except for where it's dripped down your chin and breasts. You open your mouth to show him, just for a moment, and then swallow, delighting in the way he groans at the sight. Then you wipe your chin with the back of your hand, lick it up, and pull him up towards you so you can kiss him properly.

He grabs you by the back of the head and pulls you in, hungry and sated at the same time.

"That was so good, honey," he tells you, "So fucking good."

You give him a gentle kiss to his forehead, enjoying the sensation of your sweaty, sticky bodies pressed against one another. His tears, unimpeded now, are streaming down his cheeks but he's grinning like a maniac.

"Never thought you'd let someone fuck you blindfolded like that," you tell him and he snorts.

"Me neither," he admits, "But- I trust you. And I'm workin' on it. On bein'- vulnerable."

"I liked it."

"Me too."

"So, can I tie you up next time?"

Joel snorts. "We'll see. Might need at least a week to recover from this one."

"We'll see," you agree, smirking. "We will see."

#tlou #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel miller x nb!reader #sub!joel miller

[repentarium]

the truth is i've been dreaming of this tired, tranquil place tag 15/??

ao3

He hasn't seen Eddie much. 

The morning after Halloween, Eddie had made it so plainly clear the way he felt about everything. 'That was a lot of fun, but we can't do it again.' His face was drawn and his eyes had full baggage under them and he was shifty, like he couldn't look right at Steve. He'd left for work early and without coffee, even through what was most assuredly a hangover as bad as Steve's. He'd looked - well, honestly he'd looked terrible. He'd look like lost sleep, like the days after a particularly bad nightmare, back before they called each other to talk each other back to sleep. 

The worst part about it, maybe, was that Steve had woken up so warm and had even taken a minute to smile at Eddie's rumpled and sleeping form next to him, to think happy thoughts. Then he got up to start breakfast before work. He'd been fucking humming as he did it, even, felt like things had slipped right into place when they had pressed their smiling mouths together and like maybe this was the way things were meant to be, felt like it made so much sense actually. His head was pounding, sure, and there was a bruise on his neck that was tender when he pressed his fingertips into it, another one on his side from being pressed into the wall outside the bar, but maybe that was just proof he was alive, that everything had really happened.

Steve never spent a lot of time deliberating about things like this, not beforehand; his surety was a blessing and a curse, because it set him up for so much. Like as soon as he decided it was what he wanted, he was kissing Eddie or getting on the basketball team or landing a shitty job. People said it was his money or his family or his looks or whatever, and Steve said sometimes it was his charm, and probably that was all at least a little true but really it was his conviction. 

So when Eddie had drawn a very clear line and then left that morning, and Steve could only stand there with too much toast on a plate and too many eggs in a pan and his breath coming too quickly, he felt stalled. No, he felt totalled. Smashed into a wall as soon as he’d floored it, left bruised up and disoriented and looking at a flaming wreck.

He just wanted to talk to Robin. If he could talk to her he could fix things, at least fix his dizzy head, which feels like it's just gotten off of a carnival ride or climbed out of a burnt up skeleton of a totaled car at all hours of the day. 

He'd turned the stove off and tried to call her three times before her roommate picked up and screamed at him that she was in class and some people liked to sleep. 

He has missed her like air. Robin, who could help him talk things out, who could help him pinball around in his brain and come up with a plan or a solution or a way to let things go.

Keith at work noticed the 'love bite' (his words, not Steve's) and made such a big deal out of it and the eyeliner he couldn't scrub off of his eyes that Steve had raised his voice at him for the first time ever, just to plead with him to cut it out. Keith had gotten quiet and left early, and Steve felt bad about it as he closed. He felt bad about everything, bad in general. 

The next two and a half weeks were a quiet that rivaled the times he was at his parents', and if it wouldn’t have made it worse he would have called off of work and stayed in bed. 

They were both busy working, and Eddie's been getting ready for some whirlwind practices with Corroded Coffin when they're in town so they can play a few shows at the Hideout over the holidays. He’d told Steve before all this, with a laugh, that they had to stay relevant, keep from getting too rusty. 

Waking up quiet, work, working late if he could help it, sneaking home past the sticking door and having microwave dinners in bed, laying in the dark and maybe falling asleep but mostly listening for Eddie to get home just to make sure he was still alive, then doing it all over again the next day. A horrible and freezing cycle. 

It’s not like he hates Eddie. He’s not even mad at him, even though he knows he promised he’d stay; technically kind of he did, that night at least. He remembers how soft his hair was and how plush his lips were and how firm and right it all felt, he has dreamt about it all every time he does manage to drift off. He hopes he doesn’t call for him in his sleep, because if Eddie could hear nightmares through the paper-thin walls he could undoubtedly hear his own name. Embarrassing. 

He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about how he was always the lover, never the loved. Not really. This was just more of the same. He shouldn’t be surprised. He always fell too hard too fast and was too quick to attach, and on top of it all he was terrible at hiding it because why should he? Shouldn’t people want to know they’re loved? He would. He would want to know. 

Eddie hadn’t said it in so many words, but lurking in the ‘we can’t do it again’ was the ghost of Nancy telling him his love was bullshit, the ex-girlfriend calling him clingy, his dad telling him he was too soft and to stop crowding him. 

The problem with seeking home in other people is finding it, and the problem with finding it is that when they take it away you're left wandering again. That’s not really fair to Eddie, and Steve knows it as soon as he thinks it. Eddie didn’t ask for Steve to rely on him the way he does. Clingy and soft and crowding. 

The only thing helping to keep him sane the whole time was knowing Robin would be home soon for Thanksgiving, that she'd talk him through it and help him shake it off. He could tolerate anything for ten seconds at a time, and what’s a couple of weeks but a bunch of ten second blocks?

So he spends the time feeling cold and sad and melodramatic, and he spends the time counting the days. 

When it’s finally time, he drives the Beemer to Chicago to pick her up, thinks the time away will do just as much for him as seeing Robin so he takes off work and leaves a simple note for Eddie. He doesn't think about the whole 'staying alone in a car for eight hours' part of it, and he cycles through his tapes quickly. 

She greets him with a hug that makes both of their eyes water and he practically shoves her into the car to go somewhere they could actually talk, and she must have be able to tell through their weirdo wondertwin psychic bond that something is seriously wrong because she just rambles about her classes while he helps with her bags and the whole way to the first stop.

He pulls off the road and into one of those nondescript rest areas, a field and parking lot, a gas station and a forest of vending machines surrounded by actual trees. He parks in the back and turns the car off even though it's chilly. 

He hasn't been able to look at Robin much the whole time, and still fixes his eyes out the windshield at a hole in a nearby tree and while he gnaws on his lip and twists his fingers in his lap silently. Robin puts a hand on his arm and says his name. 

‘There’s something wrong, and I don’t know what could have happened but you know you can talk to me about it. I love you no matter what. Even if you're kind of a loser sometimes, you’re my loser.'

The carefully- but poorly-constructed dam breaks and Steve is suddenly crying, full-body and ugly in a way he doesn't remember ever crying, even in the midst of all the Upside Down or Nancy's 'bullshit' or his dad giving him his second or third concussion, and he's so fucking scared for no good reason because he knows of all people Robin is on his side. He’s not scared of Robin.

She just quietly says 'oh my god, Stevie,' and unbuckles both of their seatbelts, crawls as close to him as she can and pulls him into another firm hug that at least stops some of the shaking he hadn't realized he'd been doing. She pets at his hair (unstyled and flat-looking, at least to him) until he's calmed down a little bit. He matches his breath to hers and tries to let it ground him.

'Robs,' he still sounds like he's drowning and he kind of feels that way too, 'I don't even know where to start. I missed you so much.'

'Stevie, I am so sorry, I should have called you more, I was just so busy and-'

'No, Robin, I know-’

‘-I should have tried harder-’

‘Robs, I just missed you so much and I think if you'd been there you could have stopped all of this from happening or something. I think I messed up.' He's basically talking into her neck and he knows he's soaking the shoulder of her sweater, so he sniffles and pulls away but keeps his head down. 

Robin pushes his hair back out of his face and tucks what can fit behind his ears. 'You gotta talk to me here, man, what the fuck is going on?' She looks scared. She hasn’t ever seen him like this. He knows because he hasn’t seen himself like this. 

He finally meets her eyes and fights the tears back that try to push forward again, and he sees that her hair is longer than he remembers it, and that she's got these cool dangly earrings in and a little eye makeup that's smeared because of course she's crying too. He doesn't remember ever seeing the sweater she's wearing. It’s striped, and soft. 

'I know it's only been a few months but it feels like so much longer and all of this stuff is happening and I think you're right, I need to get glasses, because my headaches keep getting worse-'

'Well, I could have told you I was right about that.' She rolls her eyes but still has to dab at them with her sleeve.

'Please don't be upset with me when I tell you. I know you won't be, but I'm kind of freaking out.' He clenches his hands onto the bottom of the steering wheel until his knuckles cramp.

'Scout's honor, we will figure whatever it is out. It’s not an Upside Down thing, right? Or the twerps? Is it a girl thing?'

Steve fights off a hysterical giggle trying to force its way out of his throat and says 'It's actually. A guy thing?'

Robin stills and is completely silent and after a minute of it Steve has to know so he looks at her again.

'Steven Jacob Harrington-' 

'-you know that's not my middle name, Rob-'

'I know there's no way you think I'd be upset with you because you're having a gay crisis.'

'Well, half-gay? Maybe? That’s not what’s wrong.'

'Half-gay.'

'Yeah, I mean I'm still into boobies-'

'Please do not say that-'

'But. I kissed a guy. And it was so good, Robin.' His head hits the headrest in frustration. 

'We're gonna come back to the fact that you kissed a guy and talk about it in detail, but first I need to know why you're upset if it was that good and it’s not a gay crisis.’

Steve is feeling a little bit better, like he's let off some of the pressure, lanced some kind of horrible infection, but he doesn't know if telling Robin about Eddie is something he's really supposed to do. Like, it’s one of those things that could get people in real trouble. 

'He. Well. He's someone… or was someone, maybe?’ God. ‘That was really important to me. Like a best friend. And I think I ruined it.'

'Oh no, Stevie. Was he not into it? Did he do something?'

'I don't know, I thought he was, it was good I thought, he was, like, enthusiastic about it, and so nice, but then he said we could never do it again and he's been completely avoiding me and Robs I miss him so much, and we don't even have to keep kissing or anything, I just miss my friend.' 

'Steve, is this someone I know?'

He nods after a moment. 

'Is it Eddie?'

He can feel his chest get tight and his eyes widen and water and he knows he has a terrible poker face but he really does try, it’s just that even on a good day it’s so hard to hide his feelings, especially from Robin, and he's been through such an emotional rollercoaster and feels like such absolute shit that there wasn't really any chance. 

'Hey Steve, it's okay, you're okay. He's avoiding you? You live in the same house.'

'Yeah, no shit. He's trying really hard.’ He laughs, sniffles. ‘I don't know what to do, if I should move out? I don’t know where-' his breath is catching again. He scrubs his face, his itching eyes.

'Okay, slow down. You haven't talked to him since?'

'Not really.' he'd tried a little, tentatively and just at first. Asked how his day was, or if he wanted dinner. He'd just say 'good' or 'nah, not hungry Stevie' and smile sad and shower or go into his room and close his door with a soft click. 

'Stevie. I am going to tell you something but I need you to believe me because I can't tell you why I know this. This is like, damage control, like talking you off the ledge shit.' 

Steve looks at her and nods for her to continue.

‘Eddie doesn't hate you. You tend to have a hard time not believing this but I swear you're an amazing friend and all of your friends love you and you're handsome and cool and smart, even if you still won't wear glasses because you're stubborn and probably a little afraid to make the appointment, which we are absolutely going to do while I'm here by the way. Eddie cares about you, and I don't know what's going on with him right now but you have to know, and I mean this the kindest way possible and with all the love in my heart, it is not always about you.'

'Jeez, thanks, Rob.'

'No! I mean it! You haven't talked to him, so you don't know what's going on in his world, and projecting something onto him isn't fair for either of you so you need to like take a breath and not freak out about it anymore until you talk to him.'

Steve feels like his brain is untwisting a little. God, Robin is such a good friend. 

'If you want to use logic here, I guess that makes sense.'

'Exactly! And I'm not saying you're wrong for feeling emotions about it because this is all kind of a big deal. But please know that even if Eddie suddenly for some reason decided whatever happened was a bad idea-'

'-which he did say, with his actual mouth, verbatim-'

'-he wouldn't hate you or want you to be upset or anything because he is your friend.' Robin finally sits back into her seat, but keeps Steve's hands in hers. 'Now tell me everything about what happened. Don't skip anything.'

Things were easier when people were bleeding, in a way, that’s what Steve thinks. You can put the adrenaline to use when you're trying to save someone else's life, or save your own, but where is it supposed to go when you're in a car explaining your doomed love life and the most exciting first (and likely only) kiss you'll ever have to your platonic soulmate?

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things fanfiction #steddie ficlet #mine #steddie fic #fanfic #robin buckley #tranquil place

[starlightsearches]

I just need you to know that I have been thinking of Mix Tape nonstop ever since you posted it. The way that you write Eddie is *chefs kiss* and the stupidly cute mutual pining is everything. I love them and I am begging (in your own time and if you feel up to it at any point) for more to this story.

Mixtape pt. 2

part one here

I am so glad that you're obsessed with them because I am obsessed with them, too. I actually cried a little writing some of this :') I hope it lives up to the first part 💖

Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated 🥰

Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: the last part wasn't gendered, but the reader is jokingly referred to as Eddie's girlfriend in this one. No pronouns. Some angst but a very happy ending, lots of music references, language, and I'm very sorry if anyone feels I've misinterpreted the lyrics to Dio's Rainbow in the Dark 😬

You're still turning the little black button in your fingers when the bell above the door rings. The shelves are pretty tall between the entrance and where you stand, but you'd recognize the bright blue brim of that thinking cap anywhere.

"Hey Dustin," you can't help but smile at him as he appears, no matter how shitty you feel. He's a sweet kid, and his presence had grown on you—almost as much as Eddie's has. You were surprised to learn they were friends, at first—until you found out that Eddie spent most of his paychecks on new D&D manuals and that Dustin had the mouth of a sailor.

"Hey," he smiles back—a nice, big smile that makes his eyes go squinty—drumming his fingers on the counter, "is Eddie here?"

You feel your own smile falter, glancing back over your shoulder so he wouldn't notice. "Yeah, just in the back, I think."

You know that's where he is. You've been hiding from each other for the past hour.

Dustin nods, already familiar with the store layout even if the door to the back wasn't clearly labeled employees only. Eddie's voice reaches you through the opening Dustin leaves when he enters.

"Henderson! The fuck are you doing here?"

He sounds just like he always does—a thin veil of sarcasm doing nothing to hide the fact that he's happy to see Dustin. You can picture their greeting well enough, their clasped palms, Eddie's sweet smile.

Dustin responds in the same snarky tone. "Your girlfriend let me back."

That catches your attention. You reach for the dial on the radio beside you, turning the volume down as low as you could manage without attracting their notice, hoping to catch more of their conversation.

Too bad for you. There's no more words spoken between them; all you hear is a harsh shhh, and then some footsteps, followed by the sound of the door latching shut.

And then silence.

Your mind buzzes. Your girlfriend. Dustin had called you Eddie's girlfriend.

You do your best to temper the nerves in your stomach—he might just be making fun of you, teasing Eddie about your obsessive crush. Maybe Eddie was embarrassed, and he'd shut the door, hoping you wouldn't hear him and get any crazy ideas. Maybe he and Henderson were stifling their laughs right now, choked up about how gullible you could be.

There's only one way to find out.

Getting caught listening outside the door would be mortifying—like change your name and leave the state mortifying—so you grab the feather duster from beneath the counter and made your way to the back shelves.

It's quieter here, out of range of the radio speakers and further from the street entrance and the occasional roar of passing cars. There's always a lull around this time of day; it's just you and the deep rumble of Eddie's voice, muffled behind the wall.

You don't let yourself breathe, barely brushing the duster over the shelves, just to be sure it won't make any noise. It takes a moment for your ears to adjust, but you manage to piece together a few of the words he's saying.

Thought. Me. Never. Hasn't. None of them make any sense, not until the last.

Mixtape.

There was no avoiding it anymore. If you wanted any answers, you'd have to listen.

Your bag is behind the counter, and you rush back to it, digging through its depths until your fingers wrap around the cassette player.

His tape is still in there, even if you couldn't listen—carrying it around felt like you were keeping a piece of Eddie with you. Maybe the only piece you'd ever have. You'd spent plenty of time turning the tape in your fingers, tracing the shape of Eddie's messy scrawl on the label—your name, written in permanent marker.

You slip the headphones around your neck with shaking hands and a deep breath, popping one of the speakers over your ear and leaving the other free in case somebody walked in.

The tape whirs to life, putting you back where you'd last left off—about twenty seconds into the opening track. Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin.

It was one of the first songs you and Eddie had in common.

It had been maybe your second or third shift together. You'd been humming along at the register while he restocked some of the shelves, watching him warily. It was easy to feel intimidated by Eddie—he made sure of that with the way he dressed. Beyond showing him around the stock room and letting him know when you were going to take lunch, you'd hardly said three words to him. But you'd looked at him a lot.

You can still picture the way he'd leaned over the counter, with his shirt just riding up over the hem of his jeans, twisting the dial up with his long, slender fingers. Can still see the way he'd glanced up at you with his big, brown eyes, his mouth turned up at the corner.

"I love this song."

It was the first thing you could think to say, stunned stupid under his gaze. His smile grew wider, his head nodding in approval. When he winked at you, your heart raced.

"You have good taste."

The encounter had stayed on your mind for weeks after.

You press on the fast-forward button until it clicks, letting the tape wind past the song and its familiar melody. It's an hour and a half long tape, and you don't have time to listen to all of it, on a mission to find the one he'd said reminded him of you—the one about the rainbow in the dark.

You let it play every few minutes, and you recognize most of the songs—impromptu concerts you'd put on together in between customers, songs you'd argued bitterly over for weeks on end. You actually laugh out loud when you turn the tape and hear the opening chords to Wham!'s Heartbeat, thinking about the way he'd gotten on his knees, begging you to switch the station whenever it came on.

Your palms grow slick the closer you get to the end. Not a single song has even mentioned rainbows. Heart sinking, you just catch the ending of The Promise, and you wait for the familiar click signifying that the tape has ended. Instead you're met with a flood of guitar.

The new melody washes over you—stronger than you'd expected—and you slip the other headphone over your ear, ready to get lost in it.

It has to be this one. It has to be.

The lyrics aren't what you'd thought—or hoped—they would be. Nothing overly romantic. No I love yous or you complete mes. It's somber, really—all about what it feels like to be alone, without hope. No sign of the morning coming. No light at all.

. . . except the rainbow in the dark.

Oh.

You play it again, and again, listening closely to the lyrics, letting the notes twine through your fingers and the guitar shake your soul. When you go to swipe the headphones down around your neck, you find tears on your cheek.

It was a love song. All of them were. They were love songs because he loved them. They were love songs because he wanted to give them to you.

It was so easy to imagine him sat intently by his radio or with his boom box, waiting for each song to come on and sorting through tape after tape, hardly moving when it recorded so the audio could stay pure. How he'd picked each of these songs and remembered you, thought of you, dreamed of you. With every song he'd found and recorded, the words were repeated. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Eddie loved you.

You stand abruptly, throwing the cassette player to the table and ripping the mixtape from inside, running because you have to let him know that you love him, too.

The door flies open and you find Eddie pacing, Dustin sat on the step stool.

With one look at your tear stained face, Eddie's on Dustin, gripping him hard by the shoulder and forcing him out of the door.

"Out."

You hear him pushing Dustin towards the front despite the boy's high-pitched protests. The bell rings, and then Eddie's back, quicker than you thought possible.

He meets you with a few quick strides—immediately kicked into protective overdrive, stroking a soothing pattern over your skin with his thumbs, warm hands cupped around your arms and his eyes heavy with worry.

"Hey, baby, what happened? Did the creep come back? Because I've been telling you you don't have to talk to him anymore, okay? I can take care of it—"

You shake your head, forcing his silence. "It's not that."

He spies the cassette in your outstretched hands, and recognition dawns, his cheeks flushing pink.

"Oh."

That's all he can say.

You're both motionless in the silence, staring into each other's eyes, and you try to form your mouth around the words you've been wanting to say for way too long.

The only one's you manage are: "I didn't know."

There's relief in the grin he gives you, in the laugh that follows, and it breaks across his face like sunshine when he pulls you closer and you don't pull away.

"You didn't know," he repeats, staring up at the ceiling with a incredulous laugh, "honey, I thought I was being obvious."

And you're laughing, too, high-pitched and breathless, drunk on this feeling of his hands and his voice and his laugh. Your voice is small when you tell him the truth.

"I thought you were making fun of me."

Eddie's eyes go wide, his fingers inching forward, wrapping around your waist.

"About this, baby? Never. About your taste in music, though—"

You scoff in fake offense, rolling your eyes, but nothing sticks when you're feeling this happy. "Shut up."

You slap him on the shoulder just looking for an excuse to touch him. He traps your hand in his, pulling it to his heart, its beat under your fingers as familiar as your favorite song.

"How about you make me?"

Yeah, you can do that.

You press up onto your tiptoes, catching his lips against yours, and he kisses you back, bowing your spine under the weight of his insistence, one arm snaking around you, holding you close. He kisses you long, and soft, and deep—making up for lost time—the mixtape trapped between you.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson #eddie the freak munson #my writing #requests

[callsignspirit]

come back home | j.h.s. | chapter one

a/n - devil works fast but i write faster, introducing a purple hearts au!! thought this could be fun to write! let me know if you guys want more i.b. purple hearts obviously

tw - men being gross, jake being a DICK but it’s okay we can change him ;)

caitlyn tapped her pen against the bars railings. she was in the process of writing a new song, or trying to at least. she was debating going over to the piano to try and work on a tune but her train of thought was interrupted by penny’s words.

“if you want a share of the tip pot you’ll have to help me wipe down these counters” she spoke, tossing cait a spray bottle and a cloth.

sighing, she sprung into action, cleaning the sticky beer residue off the wooden counter tops and gently humming a tune to an unfinished song.

the bar was practically empty, only a few early patrons milling around waiting for the crowds to come flooding in. the godforsaken crowds. filled with fresh aviators ready to go on their first deployment.

she spent the next hour doing odd jobs for penny, restocking the bottles, checking the celler and dusting the piano even though it was never out of use long to collect dust between cait's song writing and the playing of popular naval anthems.

the bell rang on the door as 7 or 8 fresh faced aviators strutted through the entrance, joshing around and hitting each other in the arm playfully.

"oh god," cait complained, throwing her head back in protest, penny remarked some comment about how the aviators were her new best friends.

however through the crowd, a familiar face spotted cait as the bar. "hey stranger!" he called, pushing his way past the men.

"bradley!" cait excitedly shrieked, leaving the middle of the bar to throw her arms around him. she slapped his chest, "i missed you!"

he laughed at her, "i've missed you too caitie." the pair had grown up together, bradley occasionally babysitting cait, despite their small age difference. she was there for him when his mom died, when pete pulled his papers and he was there for her when her dad walked out, leaving cait and her mom alone.

she stroked his face, "what's with this mustache? i am not okay with this!" she giggled. although she was enjoying catching up with bradley, she could feel the eyes of his friends on her, on her body. "well, introduced me to your squadron!"

he went through the names, introducing each member as his friend, she could see their toxic masculinity practically seeping through their pores. cait took their orders and walked back to the bar, collecting the various drinks and arranging them on the tray.

when she looked over to group, she saw bradley harshly scolding "berlin”, one of the younger pilots, shaking his head in disapproval. she hoped that whatever dispute was going on between the two wouldn’t affect their deployment.

she made her way over to the table and she set the drinks down pushing them towards their respective owners.

“so we’re good enough to fight for your ass, but not touch it?” berlin spoke up, striking silence into the other men. clearly bradley had told them her ‘no military men’ rule.

“excuse me?” cait challenged, raising her eyebrow. she decided instead of causing a scene to just walk away.

rolling her eyes, she worked on serving other customers, making small talk and chatting with them about their day. she uncapped beer bottles and stuffed the lids in her pocket, a habit she had picked up from her first night, now, at home she had a small collection.

her heeled boots clicked along the floor as she made her way to the back, penny suggested a few minutes break to cool off and to drink some glucose gel to raise her blood sugar. dealing with diabetes was hard but it was that much when some man tried to hit on her.

after a few minutes she had calmed down and was ready to serve again, she led the storage room to find “hangman” standing at the bar.

“i just want to apologise for our friend,” he said, “he’s a bit… my names jake, what’s yours?” he offered his hand out to cait, almost as a peace offering. she turned the other way walking to the opposite side of the bar, but jake was relentless.

“don’t think i don’t know your type.” he stated bluntly.

“my type?” cait asked, genuinely interested as to what group this man would brand her into.

“yeah, the girl who drives a lexus and probably has a million different flags hanging from her windowsill in support, but when it actually comes down to fighting for those groups, you’re no where to be seen! cause ‘guns and bombs are mean’ and you’re a pacifist”

“i’m sorry do you have a phd in mansplaining?”

“i guess it’s our job to fight for you!” he cut her off, “you know what i bet you even have a little peace dove tattooed on your back!”

“actually it’s on my ass, which you can’t touch but you can kiss!” she argued, walking off yet again to the other side of the bar to escape him.

jake looked over to the group and saw them mimicking explosions and laughing at him.

#jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #top gun fanfiction #top gun fanfic #hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #tgm au #tgm fanfiction #hangman fanfiction #jake seresin fanfiction

[gretavangroupie]

Bloom (Chapter 8)

Chapter 7

Official Bloom Playlist

Warnings: Angst, Blood!!!, Fluff, Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI

A/N: Please make sure to check out the playlist above for the full effect while reading this chapter. As always, thanks for reading Merry Christmas!!

“You feel like home and everywhere I've never been, all at once.” - Butterflies Rising

You and Josh arrived back in Nashville the following Monday after a wonderful weekend in his hometown for Thanksgiving. You spent much of the next two weeks together, relaxing, cooking and planning your Christmas activities. Josh has been preparing for his first show back since they rescheduled them after San Antonio. He has rested and feels like he is back on top and ready to perform. Tomorrow the guys will all leave to play two consecutive shows in Atlantic City, New Jersey, returning home for a day before heading to Los Angeles for a week. 

Josh has begged you for the past two weeks to come with him and you reluctantly agreed since there is no bus travel involved. 

You are at your apartment visiting with Amelia, eating dinner, packing and catching up with her about all of the crazy things that have transpired in the last few weeks and promising to be around more. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket and you see Josh has texted you.

Josh: When are you coming home? 

Confused, you respond.

You: I am home? Im at my apartment right now? What do you mean?

Josh: That might be where your things live but I think you know where home is angel.

Not wanting to read too much into it, you reply quickly and shove your phone back into your pocket.

You: Soon.

Selecting your outfits for your trip you carefully pack them into a hard shell suitcase along with your toiletries and a box of tampons, knowing your period will be coming soon. Zipping up the case and bidding farewell to Amelia, you make your way back to Josh’s house. Walking inside you find Josh still packing his things meticulously in his suitcase, trying to shove it closed. 

“Ugh finally you’re back I need your help.” He says.

“You sit on this and i’m gonna zip it.” He says sitting you on his suitcase. The zipper glides closed with ease and you smile proudly. 

“See everything just works better when you’re here.” He says.

“Josh I was gone for like 3 hours, maybe.” You laugh.

“I know I just miss you when i’m here and you’re not.” He says.

Giving him a soft kiss on the cheek you change into one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers and slide into the bed. 

“Tired, pretty girl?” He says placing the suitcase near the door. 

“Yeah, I am.” You reply knowing that its the fatigue starting to set in before the onslaught of your monthly visitor. 

“What’s wrong baby? Are you not excited for this weekend?” He asks sitting next to you on the bed.

“No I am, I just want it to be fun for you since its your first show back, but I am… about to have my time of the month and I’m not feeling the best.” You say nervously. You haven’t been with Josh while on your period yet, the time frames never lining up. 

“Oh, baby that's okay. Look if it makes you feel any better, that doesn’t bother me at all, in any way. I am going to make sure that you have fun this weekend and I will take care of you and pamper you the whole time. It will be great.” He smiles gently rubbing your hair. 

Leaning your head into his touch you nod yes. He gets up and changes clothes and crawls into bed next to you, spooning your body as you fall asleep next to him.

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“Is that it?” You yell towards Josh who is in the house locking up before you head to the airport.

“Yep that’s it angel, we are ready to roll.” He calls back.

You have about 15 minutes to get to the airport to meet the guys before heading to Atlantic City.

As you pull into long term parking Josh asks how you’re feeling, you replying that you were doing okay today and him giving you a kiss on the cheek. You wheel your bags into the airport and check in at the ticket counter. You make it through to security where you see a girl snapping a picture of Josh as secretively as she can. You smile and laugh and push him ahead through the x-ray machine.

You both are pulling your shoes on as the girl approaches you both. “Hi are you Josh Kiszka?” She asks nervously.

“I am! How are you? Would you like a photo?” He asks the girl kindly.

“Oh my gosh, Hi, i’m great and yes if you don’t mind!” She replies happily.

“Baby?” Josh gestures as he hands you the girls cellphone. 

You take a few photos quickly before returning it to the girl who is absolutely gushing and thanking you and Josh profusely. You collect your things from the end of the belt and make your way to your gate, hand in hand. 

“Do you ever get tired of people asking for photos of you?” You ask as you walk.

“No, never… its sweet. They are always so nervous. I try to calm them down the best that I can.” He says.

He has such a kind heart, just one of the many things you love about him.

You approach the gate and see the rest of the guys and their girlfriends sitting chatting amongst themselves.

“Heyyyy I didn’t know you were coming!” Jake says enthusiastically towards you. The other girls clapping their hands excitedly at your presence. 

“Yeah, Josh wore me down” you say with a wink and elbow to his side.

“Good, we are gonna get into some trouble this weekend.” Sam jokes, his service dog Rose laying on the floor at his feet. Looking at her smiling, her tail gives you a small wag as a hello.

The flight in was short and sweet, only a little bit of turbulence from some bad weather moving through the area. You land and you all grab your luggage before a van delivers you to your hotel.  

As Lisa hands out room keys you wait patiently until she calls Josh’s name. He steps up taking the key and telling her thank you. He walks over to the group and asks them to meet him back here in an hour.

You and Josh make your way to your room and are immediately greeted with a gorgeous room overlooking the boardwalk. You can see the colorfully lit ferris wheel spinning in the distance. The room has a large king size bed, a full length mirror, along with a dresser, desk and a small couch. 

Josh opens his suitcase and begins hanging his clothes in the closet and placing his homey comforts on the bedside table. You excuse yourself to the bathroom only to find that, right on time, your period has arrived. You finish up and walk back into the room digging through your suitcase for the box of tampons. 

“Im sorry, baby. I mean, I guess it is a good thing.” Josh says sympathetically.

You nod your head agreeing before heading back to the bathroom to rectify the situation.

As you walk out Josh is sitting on the edge of the bed. “Come sit.” He says.

“Listen, you know I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I know you are not feeling good about yourself right now, but look. You are a woman. Your body is beautiful and is doing exactly what its made to do. Everything happening to you is natural and wonderful and you handle it with grace. I am going to continue to worship this body exactly as it should be. Including tonight…if you’ll let me. I want to show you how amazing it can feel to be completely consumed in each other in your most raw and natural state.” He finishes.

Jumping over his legs to straddle him you push him down onto the bed and lean over and press your lips to his. “Yes Josh, you can show me.” You say before standing up and going to look out the window. “We need to head back down there, they will be waiting for us.” You say.

You head downstairs and meet the guys in the lobby. Across the way is the entrance to the casino and you all make plans to try your hand at some slots after dinner. You enjoy a wonderful meal with lots of wine at the restaurant just down the street from the hotel. Afterwards you all head back and into the casino, most of you going for slot machines, and the others to the blackjack tables. 

An hour or so later you walk out with your winnings of $0.20, laughing at how Sammy lost $50.00. You are tired and smell like smoke from the casino but you remember what Josh has in store for the two of you as he slides his hand into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Still up for a little fun, angel?” He asks quietly.

“Only if you want to.” You reply.

He unlocks the hotel room door with the keycard and lets you in first. You sauntering across the room still tipsy from the alcohol with dinner, and the drinks in the casino.

He flops down on the bed with a deep sigh, “come here angel.” He says laying back.

You crawl between his legs, bending down and placing a kiss on his stomach, over his clothes. Feeling bold you unbutton his pants and hook your fingers into the hem dragging them down to let his dick be free. He is growing hard at the excitement of what’s happening, the soft kiss you place on the tip expediting the process.

You squat down off the bed and untie his shoes and remove his socks one at a time before pulling his pants completely off. with his legs hanging off the bed, bent at the knee. You sit up taller and grab the base of his length in your hand. He props himself up on his elbows to get a better look at what is happening. You make eye contact with him and as seductively as possible take him into your mouth, until you feel him at the back of your throat. You wrap your lips around him and slide back and forth never breaking eye contact. He throws his head back in pleasure a soft “fuck” leaving his throat. You continue and add a gripping motion to his base. Your other hand reaching up grazing your fingernails across his pelvis. As you continue to take him in, your tongue starts to swirl around the tip and he quivers under you. “Im gonna cum angel so pull off now if you want to.” He says urgently. You shake your head no, him still penetrating the back of your throat and with one good long stroke up his dick he cums spilling down the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ, that was sinful." he says

You pull off of him standing up, taking your shoes and clothes off, leaving you standing in just your thong. Josh stands and takes the rest of his clothes off and makes his way to the bathroom, returning with a bath towel. He spreads it out over the sheets of the bed and turns back to you removing your panties. 

“Josh I have to go to the bathroom first…” you say and he nods understandingly.

You go to the bathroom and flush your tampon down the toilet, wash your hands and return to him. 

“Lay on that towel angel.” He instructs.

“The white towel?!” You say nervously.

“Angel they see this all the time i’m sure, don’t be ashamed.” He says rubbing his hands down your legs as you nod and lay on the towel.

“You know sex during your period is supposed to alleviate cramps?” He says. 

“I have heard that but, I've never tried. There’s never been anyone I’ve wanted to try with.” You reply.

“You’ve never had period sex before, angel?” He asks surprised.

“No.” You answer.

“I love you so much. I can’t believe you are mine.” He says. “Im going to be gentle, until you tell me not to, okay?” He asks.

“Please Josh…” you say, desperate for him.

He aligns himself with you, gently pushing into your cramping core with a groan.

It feels so good to have the pressure inside of you relieved by him. He begins to slowly rock his hips back and forth, the sound of your arousal filling the air. This is more of a wet sound than you’re both used to, and you feel his dick grow even harder. 

“God angel, this is something else.” He says as he continues. 

“Josh, you can be rough now. It’s okay.” You beg.

With that the pace of his hips pick up, his dick plunging deeper inside of you, the force of it pushing liquid out of you. As he continues you feel and hear a small spray leave you,  as you both realize that your blood has scattered across his torso. You feel embarrassed for a millisecond before Josh audibly indicates how much he loves it. 

Thrusting deep into you time and time again, liquid flowing freely from you, landing on the towel beneath you and adorning Josh’s pelvis. It all feels so good.

You do feel relief from your cramps as the coil inside of you tightens before your impending orgasm. You know that Josh isn’t too far behind by the moans he’s releasing. You can tell that period sex is something he is definitely into.

“My gorgeous woman. So fucking beautiful marking me with her blood. Fuck, I love you.” He says. Sending you rippling through your orgasm a small spray of arousal and blood hitting his base sending him into his own release. 

“Fuck, that was insanely hot. So primal.” he says pulling out of you, blood and slick coating his dick. “Stay there and let me watch.” He says watching his cum, tinted pink, leak out of you onto the towel. 

“Jesus Christ I’m going to cum again if I didn’t know better.” He says staring.

“Josh, stop…” You say blushing.

“You are a goddamn dream. Don’t ever think for one second that you aren’t… I will be damned if anyone ever does that to you, but me. ” He says getting up from the bed. He walks into the bathroom and turns on the shower before peaking his head out of the door  and saying “ready and waiting for you angel.”

He really is too good to you. That may have been one of the best orgasms of your life. Sitting up and swinging yourself off the bed, you hold the towel to your center as you walk, catching any excess fluids from dripping. You drop the towel on the bathroom floor and join Josh in the perfectly steamy shower. 

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The next day when you wake Josh is gone but has left a note for you on the desk.

Went to find coffee…

x J

You smile at his cute handwriting, and set the note down and proceed to get dressed for the day. The guys will have soundcheck around 2:00 and Josh has demanded you come with him.

The venue is just around the corner in a different hotel. You straighten your hair and put on your outfit and lounge on the couch as you wait for him to return with coffee. You scroll through instagram and twitter and see nothing but excited comments from fans about the shows this weekend.

The door opens, Josh pushing it open with his foot with two coffees in his hand and a Starbucks bag hanging from his wrist.

“Its a good thing I love you…It was a mob scene at Starbucks, there were so many fans outside I had to send my mother in to get our order.” He laughs, “alas, here is your hot bean juice my lady.” He smiles.

Oh okay he is in a silly mood today. You love it when he is like this. He must be excited for the show. “Thanks baby!” You say happily accepting the large coffee.

“I also got you a muffin.” he says presenting you with a blueberry muffin.

“You’re the best.” You say kissing his soft pink lips. 

“Oh your nose is cold, how cold is it out there?” You ask.

“Uh frigid, I don’t know, wear a hat, a scarf, mittens whatever you have!” He jokes.

You laugh and kiss his nose.

Around 1:30 you Josh and the guys all meet in the lobby to head to the van to take you all to the venue for soundcheck. On the way the guys tentatively discuss the setlist for the evening and what they want to play for soundcheck. As you all enter backstage you see them check to see everything is set up how they want it and you and the other girls head down to the empty pit, your usual sound check spot. The guys play through a few songs, one oldie, according to Jakes girlfriend, and then they finish up and head back to the green room where you meet them. They will remain here for the rest of the day until it’s time for the show. You and the girls say your goodbyes and head back to the hotel to get ready. You all had outfits planned for the two nights of shows, coordinating to somewhat match color schemes. 

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.

Arriving back to the green room later that evening, you are reunited with Josh and the guys who are now dressed in their stage outfits, and getting their rhinestones applied. Josh is walking around with his hot drink and cracking jokes for the girl who makes their social media videos. You hang out on the couch and he eventually makes his way over to you and sits down. 

“Are you ready?” You ask.

“Yeah I feel pretty good, my ear isn’t bothering me at all right now. Didn’t hurt after soundcheck so that is a good sign too.” He says, “I am so glad you’re here, the shows are just so much better when I know you’re out there watching.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world my love. You’re gonna do great tonight, and then you’re gonna take me back to the room and do whatever you want to me.” You whisper.

“That’s a deal angel.” He replies.

An hour or so later, the guys are stepping onto the stage and the fans are going absolutely insane. The energy the guys have on stage tonight is better than it has been in weeks. The crowd sings along to every song. They sway in unison to ‘Light My Love’ and you tear up knowing how much emotion that song causes people to feel. Your heart swells as you watch Josh and his brothers are living this dream. At the conclusion of the set, Josh takes a shot on stage with the fans and you use that as your cue and you and the girls head backstage from the sound booth.

A little while later the guys meet you back in the dressing room, they are all sweaty and ready for a drink. Josh walks up to you, wrapping his arms around you and dipping you down for a dramatic kiss. “Hello angel how was the show?” He asks standing you back up.

“Amazing as usual” you reply. You mingle with everyone while the guys take turns cleaning up and setting stuff up for tomorrows show. A while later you’re all bussing back to the hotel, tired from the long day.

You and Josh walk hand in hand to your room, both of you cold from the outside air. Getting into the room you can tell Josh is tired from the night. He hasn’t given a full on performance in over a month, the time off catching up with him. 

You change into your pajamas as you watch him. He grabs a pair of sweatpants walks over to the bed, slides his clothes of until he is completely naked, then sliding on the sweatpants. He goes into the bathroom and brushes his teeth before climbing into the bed. You scurry to the bathroom to brush your teeth and plug in both of your phones before getting in bed, turning off the lamp and curling into his open arms. 

“You know, you said I could have you any way I wanted you tonight? I want you to just hold me. I am so tired.” He breathes.

“I know baby, go to sleep. I'll still be here tomorrow.” You reply.

“Be here forever. Just like this.” He says before falling asleep in your arms.

The next morning played out differently than the first, Josh wised up and ordered coffee to the hotel from UberEats, thus avoiding the fans that knew he went there yesterday, and were inevitably waiting. You enjoyed your morning together reading in bed, cuddling and relaxing before getting ready to go for soundcheck again.

Josh told you that he had a surprise up his sleeve for the show tonight and to make sure you paid attention. After soundcheck ended, again you and the girls went back to the hotel to get ready. You made sure to look extra hot tonight since you and the guys were going out afterwards. A while later you and the girls walk into the green room to meet the guys before the show. Josh sees you enter and immediately jumps up and walks over to meet you. 

“Damn you look edible angel. I could fuck you right here right now.” He says quietly.

“Well that would be a mess, wouldn’t it?” You joke with a devilish grin.

“Ugh, you better stop before I get a massive erection before we go on.” He says.

“Wouldn’t be different than any other show, huh babe?” You say in a flirty tone.

His eyes about bulge out of his head and he runs his tongue along his teeth shaking his head. You can tell you are going to get it later.

The first half of the show was just as amazing if not better than the previous night. They played a few different songs and you were starting to form your favorites. After the drum solo, Josh talks to the crowd, and you see his eyes find you in the sound booth with a big smile and he says ‘ahh just like good sex…” before the lights fade to green and they play what you now know is ‘The Barbarians’.

You’re taken aback at his statement although you almost knew he was going to say something. This is the one he is throwing in for you and it is the sexiest song you’ve heard them play yet. You spend the rest of the show thinking about what you want him to play tonight while he has his way with you.

After wrapping up the show, and meeting the guys backstage, you wait as they get ready to go drink away the rest of the evening. You all end up at a bar close to the hotel, so that you can walk back when you’re ready. The guys are already pretty drunk by the time you arrive and you know that will make for a fun evening. You and Josh continue to make eyes at each other from across the bar all night. The guys are playing pool and the girls are sitting and watching from a table across the bar.  You down 4 gin and tonics before you start feeling fuzzy. Josh is taking notice of your loosened state and bids farewell to the gang before helping you up and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. As you walk outside the cold air slices through your clothes. It’s about two blocks to get back and it’s a fight against the wind the whole time. Once you step foot in the lobby both of you begin to thaw out. Your head feeling dizzy, the next thing you know the elevator is dropping you off on your floor. Then Josh is closing the room door, and undressing you. Flashing in and out of darkness you feel a little woozy. You try to pull yourself back into consciousness as Josh hands you a glass of water and sits you down on the end of the bed. You drink the whole glass.

“Maybe you went a little too hard baby?” He asks.

“No, I am fine. I just needed to sit for a minute.” You say. “I think I only had maybe 4 drinks? And I guess all the ones before we left.. okay maybe I did have a little much. I am feeling ok now I promise” you say as your hand slides up his leg. 

“Angel I need you to be sure you want to do this tonight.” He says. “I don’t know if I can be gentle and you're a little bit drunk.” 

“Even better.” You reply “but Josh?” You question. “Fuck me to that song.”

“What song?” He asks.

“The one you played tonight with the long guitar solo... towards the middle....” You say.

“Age of Machine?” He laughs out loud questioning you.

“Yes that one! It is pure sex, Josh. Especially after your little sex comment. Right in front of all those people! All I could think about for the rest of the show was fucking you to that song.” You replied confidently thanks to the alcohol.

“You want me to fuck you… to my own song…angel…” he says unsure.

“Please Joshy?” You say placing your hand over his bulge.

After an annoyed sigh he responds.

“Anything for you my love, but just real quick...you know it’s my brothers guitar that makes the song? I just want to be clear that you want me to fuck you while I listen to my brother playing his guitar?” He says sarcastically.

“Yep that’s right baby…” you say back.

“Fine. Strip, angel.” He demands walking to the bathroom.

When he returns he is in only his boxers with a towel in his hands. Grabbing his phone off the dresser and connecting it to a bluetooth speaker, he looks at you and shakes his head laughing. 

You hear a song start to play over the speaker as Josh walks over to you. He lays the towel down on the sheets and lays down on the bed laying his head on the pillows. 

“You’re on top first, angel.” 

You run to the bathroom and take care of your tampon before quickly returning to Josh who is laying on the bed gently stroking himself. You crawl over him and straddle his waist, your center sitting directly on top of his hard length. You lean over and and take his mouth with yours. Your tongues instantly finding each others tasting the remnants of the nights alcohol. His hands are on your hips pushing you down, grinding onto his dick back and forth. You can feel your wetness and it begins to slide easier. You push up from his lips and your hands are on either side of his head. He reaches his head up and bites down hard on one of your nipples. You scream out in pain. “There we go, that’s what I want to hear angel.” Josh says from underneath you. You lift up on your knees and grab the base of his dick aligning it with your center before slowly sliding down his full length. A moan escaping you from the fullness you feel inside of you. Placing your hands on his stomach you begin to rock back and forth in a wave motion, making sure you’re hitting your g spot with every forward motion. Josh grabs your hips thrusting into you from underneath with force sending a light splatter onto his base. He groans and as the evidence continues to marks his body over and over. As you feel your insides tightening you hear the opening notes to ‘Age of Machine’ and Josh makes a move to roll you over, still connected. 

You smile up at him and wrap your legs around him. He forcefully unwraps them grabbing them and pushing your knees into your chest just barely touching your chin. 

“You said you wanted me to fuck you to this song angel? Well, we are going to do it my way.”

He pounds into you in a thrust deeper than you’ve ever felt him before. A loud scream leaving your lips at the contact so far inside. 

“There baby, now that is how the song is intended to be enjoyed.” He says repeating the motion with force gritting this teeth as another scream leaves you. You feel the spray leaving your center and it seems to make Josh fuck you even harder as the irony smell fills the air. He brings one of your legs to rest on his shoulder and continues. As the guitar plays in the background and you hear Josh’s voice singing to you, you moan in pleasure.

“Hands and knees.” He says heavy breathed and sweaty.

Pulling off of him he is covered in sweat, your arousal, and your blood. You get on your hands and knees and he reenters you right as the guitar solo begins. He is rapidly thrusting into you at this point and a slap connects on your ass as you moan, “Josh, fuck I am going to cum.”

He grabs the hair at the back of your head grasping it and pulling your head back pounding into you twice more before your body shakes from your orgasm tearing through you. “Josh fuckkk…” you cry out. The sloshing noises continuing until he is cumming in side of you with one more hard thrust. “Fuuuuuckkk.” he moans. He pulls out and you stay in the position for another minute knowing he likes to admire his handiwork. “Gorgeous.” He says. You feel two fingers swipe up your slit and swirl around your opening catching the dripping release. He taps your ass, an indication that he is done and wants you to be comfortable. You are both a mess and Josh couldn’t seem happier about it. You both jump in the shower to rinse off the night and crawl into bed. You are laying in his arms as he twirls your hair. “You know I have never fucked anyone to one of my own songs before? That was a first for me.” He says.

“Really? I feel like you would have done that at least once or twice?” You respond.

“Nope, only with you.” He smiles kissing your head. He pulls the string on the lamp and you lay there curled together. “I love you so much Josh. I am so proud of you. You did amazing this weekend.”

“Thank you my love, it’s all because of you. My lucky charm. I love you more every day. I swear.” He says.

Kissing him softly on his lips you whisper your goodnights knowing you had a long travel day tomorrow before heading to Los Angeles this week. Thinking of your perfect man you let your eyes flutter shut and the darkness whisks you away.

You’re in the hotel room sitting reading a book on the couch overlooking the boardwalk. It’s night time and the room is dimly lit providing the perfect ambiance to your book. Josh isn’t back yet but you know he will be soon. You are turning the pages of your book and you hear a knock at the door. Figuring Josh must have left his key, you open it but to your surprise it isn’t Josh. It’s Jake.

“Hi Jake, what are you doing here?” You ask.

Leaning against the door frame his tongue slightly peaking out he smiles, “Lookin for you…”

“Me?” You respond.

“Indeed. Can I come in?” He asks.

“Sure, Josh isn’t here though?” You reply as he makes his way inside. 

“Not here for him…” he replies. He examines your body up and down with a smirk. You remember that you are wearing pajamas with no bra and get nervous, covering your chest with your arms.

“Its too late to hide now, sugar…” He says.

You stare at him shocked at what he is saying and shocked that you felt a rush of heat to your center. This is Josh’s brother, his twin brother. You shouldn't feel anything.

Jake speaks again, “Don’t be shy, I know you're turned on.”

“I don't know what you mean…I’m with Josh...” You stammer.

“You are so sexy you know that? The good girl thing really does it for me. Then you come out tonight with your tits all pushed up like that? I saw your glances all night, trust me. I noticed.” He says.

Your arousal growing heavier by the words leaving his mouth you stare at him. He stands up and walks towards you causing you to walk backwards until you are met by the wall.

“Your breathing is getting heavier doll, are you okay?” He says smugly knowing you won’t reply.

“Tell me, are you as good a girl as you seem? Because I don’t think you are… I think my brother got himself wild one didn’t he?” He asks tracing his index finger over your collar bone pushing your pajama top off to the side.

Your breath hikes as his fingers make contact with your skin. It is a similar electric feeling as that first time with Josh. Desire is swirling inside of you so fast that you know its getting to be too late to stop it. This is going to go one of two ways, bad or really really good. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you’ve always found Jake attractive. Attractive in the way that he is your boyfriends twin, the forbidden twin. The one that brings the edge to make up for the softness of Josh. The one who brings the sex appeal and melts you with simple hand movements and fuck me eyes. You can’t say that you haven’t imagined this moment before, before quickly pushing it away into the corner of your mind. 

“I can see you thinkin doll, you want this to happen don’t you?” He asks.

You continue to stare at him. Knowing if you reply it’s all over. 

“Say it doll. You know you want this. Don’t think about what Josh will say. He knows. We all know. We can all see you want me just as bad as I want you.” He says. 

The thin string you were hanging by snaps and you reply “I do want you.”

In a fury his lips are on yours kissing you in a way so hard and so different than Josh. Its aggressive and needy and the exact opposite of your sweet Josh, but you kind of like it. The forbidden qualities shining through with Jake. 

“See I knew you weren’t a good girl. I knew you were hiding under there somewhere.” He says removing your top. He unbuckles his pants and unbuttons his button fly before pulling your pants off of your body. There you stand naked before him. Your boyfriends twin brother. Your boyfriends insanely hot, long haired, guitar god, twin brother.

You connect your lips with his again wrapping his long hair around your fingers and gripping tightly. His hands find your breasts squeezing them gently before pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. 

A moan releasing from your throat causing his dick to grow harder against your bare stomach. 

“Damn and my brother gets to hear that whenever he wants? Criminal.” He says into your neck.

Suddenly he is picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder walking over to the bed before throwing your body down on top of the sheets. 

“I know you want me to fuck you as bad as I want to fuck you but we have to make this quick. Josh will only be gone for another 10 minutes. I made sure of that.” he states, pushing his boxers off, his dick hanging heavily between his legs. You stare at his length comparing when he stops you mid thought. 

"Not everything the same, huh?" He says, knowing he may have an extra inch on Josh.

Playing his little game you respond, “I'll be the judge of that.”

“There she is, keep going baby, make this memorable.” He says.

“Fuck me Jake.” You say with venom lacing your words.

His fingers run up your center collecting your slick before he coats the head of his dick with it. Lining up with your wet opening he pushes forwards and bottoms out inside of you. A groan releasing from your lips at the feeling of fullness inside of you.

“Jesus Christ you feel good doll. You are so tight.” He says as he begins to slow pull out and push back in. You wrap you legs around his calves and stare at him his bare chest adorned with a single pendant coin necklace. Grabbing the metal strand and pulling him closer to you, your lips capturing his and violent kiss. His tongue is swirling with yours in a way that you haven’t experienced. Again it’s very different than the way you and Josh typically kiss.

He starts to pound into you quickly. More aggressively and extremely vocally as a sheen of sweat begins to cover his body. “Fuck I can get why Josh never shuts up about fucking you…” he grunts “and I have to sit there and listen to it. Do you know what that’s like doll? Watching you with him, knowing that I can fuck you like this?” He says hitting your sensitive spot inside causing you to scream.

“Yeah scream for me doll. Let everyone hear how good this dick makes you feel.” He says continuing his movements. 

His fingers reach down and pinch your clit and the growing feeling in your stomach is starting to peak. “Ah you’re close aren’t you sugar, you’re gonna cum for me aren’t you? Say my name...I want to hear it on that pretty mouth.” He demands.

“Jake I'm gonna cum, don’t stop.” You beg.

“I'm not stopping doll, you just make those pretty sounds wrapped around my dick.” He says.

With those words you are shot into orbit, vision black and surrounded by twinkling stars. Jake's voice snapping you back as he moans at the extra wetness. “Your pussy is so tight doll I’m gonna cum, fuck. Do you want me to shoot inside of you or out…” he asks hastily.

“Inside…” you breathe

“Fuck, ok sugar. So bad letting me cum inside of you... All the while you’re with my twin. Goddamn your fuckin sweet.” He says grunting into you as you feel his release spray through you.

“Fuck you’re so good.” He says collapsing on top of you. “That’s what I always thought it would be.” He says kissing your neck one last time before jumping up and running into the bathroom. You lay there in shock.

He turns the shower on and peeks his head out the door, “Here jump in and wash this off before he gets back. Our secret huh sugar?” He says buttoning his pants. You get up and walk into the bathroom as he adjusts himself in the mirror. You get in the shower and by the time you get out, he’s gone. You get back in bed, and think for a while as you wait for Josh to return. 

You hear an alarm clock going off loudly and you can’t seem to find the source. You hear Josh’s voice echoing through the entire room and you open your eyes to find yourself in bed wrapped up in his arms confused at your surroundings. When did he get back? What's happening? Does he know?

“Good morning angel. Did you enjoy your dream?” He says smugly.

Oh my god, it was a dream. You had a sex dream. About Jake. 

“How did you know I was dreaming?” You ask.

“You were moaning, I thought you even had an orgasm there for a second.” He laughs.

“I think I did... Did I… say anything?” You ask nervously.

“No. It was a lot of pleasurable sounds to wake up to though…” he smiles kissing your face.

“Even in your dreams i’m taking care of you huh angel?” He asks.

Your heart drops into your stomach and you nod your head at him not wanting to think about what just happened.

As you get up and head to the shower you are filled to the brim with guilt. How could your brain do this to Josh. Why is this happening? Do you subconsciously have feelings for Jake? You push it all to the side as you stand under the shower spray. You finish your shower lost in your thoughts and come out to see Josh packing his suitcase up. You get dressed hardly able to look him in the eye you feel so guilty. Choking back your emotions you pack your suitcase up. You are quiet, and you know Josh can tell. 

“What is wrong angel? You’re not yourself?” He asks rubbing his hand down your arm.

“Oh, nothing baby. I’m fine. Just tired.” You reply.

“If something is wrong you would tell me right?” He asks with a concerned look.

“Of course.” You reply, knowing full well this is one of those thingse doesn't need to know.

As you check in at the airport for your flight back to Nashville you are handed your ticket and make your way to the gate. All of you chat amongst yourself until it’s time to board. 45 minutes later you hear them call your boarding groups and you head onto the plane. You suddenly realize that you and Josh are not seated together. He is 3 rows ahead of you sitting next to a stranger. He sits down and shrugs his shoulders at you. As you make your way to your seat you slide in next to the window and sip your water waiting to see who will be sitting next to you. Sam passes. Danny passes. The other girls pass. You make eye contact with Jake who nods at you and sits down in the empty seat. This is your living nightmare and he has no idea.

“Looks like we’re together.” He says.

You about choke on your water. 

“So it seems. I wonder why we are all split up?” You question.

“Ah, well it will be a quickie.” He says.

Your breath hitches again as you recall your dream yet again.

“Mhmm” you say reaching for your book.

“Whatcha got there?” He asks.

“Ahh its just a book I’ve been reading this weekend. I'm almost done.” You reply.

“Am I that boring that you’d rather read a book than talk to me?” He asks.

You feel the plane start to glide down the tarmac indicating take off.

“No, I just don’t want to bother you.” You say.

“Ah you’re not a bother darlin, you’re one of us now.” He says.

You stare at him, he is sort of beautiful in his own way. Stop it! You tell yourself.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks.

“Like what?” You reply.

“Like you’re scared of me or something, I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it.” He says.

You swallow hard and hold your breath as you feel the plane lifting off the ground. 

His hand pats the top of your arm, gripping the arm rest. And you suck in a breath.

“Nervous flyer?” He asks.

“A little bit today...” you say. Its not a lie. You are definitely nervous about this whole situation. You know he has no idea about your dream but god it felt so real you almost wonder if he had it too.

“Well, we will be fine don’t worry sugar.” He says with a kind smile. He leans over the arm rest into the aisle to see if he can see his girlfriend giving her a small wave and a smile. 

He sits back in his chair and blows out a breath. 

A while later he starts up a new conversation.

“You know, I’m really happy for you and Josh. I don’t think we have ever talked about it, but he really loves you and I’m glad you have each other. It’s a night and day difference for him.” He says.

“Thanks Jake, I love him too. He makes me really happy.” You reply. Still eaten alive by guilt.

“Good, he’s had a rough year, you know that though. When he is hurting so am I. So seeing him happy with you also makes me happy.” He says.

“Well I guess as long as he keeps me around, everyone will be…happy…” you joke.

“I don’t think you’re going anywhere darlin’. At least that’s what he told me.” He says.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“Ah i’ve said to much. Just glad you’re in our life is all.” He says.

You let the conversation go and you turn to your place in your book and try to read for the rest of the flight even though your mind is racing through everything that has happened today. 

As you arrive back in Nashville you all say your goodbyes knowing you’ll be right back here tomorrow morning. You and Josh find his car in long term parking and get into the freezing cold cab.

“How was your flight my love?” Josh asks.

“Oh it was eventful, you know I was next to Jake right?” You say.

“I kind of saw that.” He laughs “I bet that was interesting, you two don’t talk very much.” 

“I always mean to, but I never know what to say.” You reply.

“Yeah he can be a little intimidating but I promise it’s all a facade. He is just like me with a tougher looking exterior.” He jokes.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” You reply.

When you arrive back at Josh’s house you are met with the familiar feeling of home. It's smells, and comforts. You’re aren’t sure how Josh is able to do this all the time, leaving and returning. Its hard and you were only gone for 3 days, you can’t imagine it being months at a time.

Josh noticing you’re quiet again asks, “Baby, you are all in your head today. What is going on?”

“Nothing, Josh I promise. Just having an off day.” You reply. 

He raises his eyebrows at you, knowing you aren’t telling the truth but letting it go giving you a delicate kiss on the lips. 

He places an album on the turn table and you begin to relax and you sort through your suitcase removing the dirty clothes, replacing them with clean clothes and more outfits before you leave for LA tomorrow. Josh makes you both something to eat in the kitchen and you hear the song ‘Dirty Work’ by Steely Dan spinning, singing to your subconscious thoughts.

“When you need a bit of lovin’ cause your man is out of town, that’s the time you get me runnin’  and you know i’ll be around…. I’m a fool to do your dirty work, oh yeah…..I don’t wanna do your dirty work, no more, i’m a fool to do your dirty work oh yeah…..”

You feel a swirling feeling in your stomach like you’re going to vomit and run to the bathroom and sit on the floor. Why is the guilt eating you alive? You didn’t do anything wrong? Did you? You breathe deeply for a few minutes and collect your thoughts hoping Josh didn’t notice.

You hear footsteps and a knock at the door.

“Baby…” He questions.

“I'm ok.” You reply opening the door.

He stands there with his hands on his hips. “Quit lying to me. What is going on.” He says harshly.

Quickly running through all of the scenarios and what could possibly play out if you told the truth you decide on the the option with the best outcome.

“Josh I don’t know what to say…” You reply.

“Oh god what’s wrong?” He asks concerned.

“Can we sit?” You ask. 

You both sit down on the edge of his bed and you place your head in your hands.

“You’re scaring me angel what’s going on?” He asks nervously.

“Nothing is going on, nothing happened I am just…” you reply swallowing your nerve and telling the truth.

“Ok you know how last night when we had sex you were talking a lot, about your brothers and the music and we were so in the moment…” you stammer. “I don’t know if it was the alcohol mixing with my subconscious and your words or what… I just…”

“What, just say it…” he begs.

Taking a deep breath you respond. “I had a sex dream about your brother…” you say nervously looking him in the eyes. “It's eating me alive, that’s what you heard this morning. I feel so guilty and embarrassed and I haven’t been able to even look at you all day, I’m so sorry Josh.” You finish.

He stares at you blankly thinking about what you’ve said. Remembering your orgasm from this morning.

“Which brother...” He finally says.

“You know…don’t make me say it...” You reply.

“Say it now angel or it's only going to make it worse.” He snaps.

“Jake. It was about Jake. Im so sorry Josh, please.” You reply with tears in your eyes.

“Was it good?” He asks blankly.

“What?” You ask completely shocked.

“Was. It. Good. Did he fuck you real good in your dream, angel? Did he do all of the dirty little things you fantasize about?” He asks harshly shaking his head.

“I…Josh…” you say speechless.

Getting up and pacing around the room, he continues. “How long have you been thinking about Jake? Do you imagine him when I am fucking you?” He asks.

“Josh how could you say that? You know I love you…” you say, devastated he would even say that.

“Save it. I can’t believe the moans coming from your mouth this morning. All along I thought you were dreaming of me. Of course it wasn’t me…my own fucking brother. My twin. Why was I not enough? You are dreaming about fucking JAKE?!” he finishes teetering on anger. 

“Josh stop it” you cry. “Don’t you think I feel guilty? I love you. I don’t know why this happened!” You cry to him.

“Answer my question.” He says.

“What question?” You reply.

“Was it good? Did you like it? Tell the truth.” He demands.

“Josh, I…” You stop not wanting to finish the sentence as the tears freely flowing from your eyes.

"Answer!!" he yells at you.

You burst into tears, "Yes!"

A pissed off sigh coming from his chest he walks over to you, your face streaked with tears, taking it between his hands. “Go home…” he says behind his teeth, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks.

“I thought you said... this was home…” you say crying harder.

“Not anymore.” He says, releasing your face forcefully and walking away.

“What about LA?” You ask, scared to hear his answer.

“I'm going alone.” He replies coldly.

Throwing yourself back onto the bed your crossed arms cover your face as you quietly sob into them as Josh leaves the room.

Laying in his bed wondering if it’s the last time, you breath in his smells remembering this moment, You pull yourself up, looking at yourself in the mirror. Puffy eyes, swollen with tears. Your heart broken over something you couldn’t control. You’ve lost him. You collect your things and catch a glance at the polaroid tucked into the frame on his side table. A photo from Sammy’s camera that he took over Thanksgiving. A photo of you and Josh dancing in his living room, your smiles genuine and covered in love. Everything was perfect. Your heart breaks a little more.

You roll your suitcase out to the living room and Josh is gone. You see a plate of food set set neatly for you on the counter, remnants from earlier in the evening and you cry again. 

You call out for him, but the house is silent. His car is gone.

You load your things into your car and as you pull away from his house you wonder if it will be for the last time, another sob ringing out from your chest. The realization of how much you actually love him becoming evident. 

As you unlock the door to the apartment you see Amelia sitting on the couch watching tv and your eyes meet hers and she knows. You don’t even have to say anything and you she running to your side. 

“Oh god, pen. Is it really bad?” She asks.

You nod your head and collapse into her comforting hug and explain everything, so thankful you have her. 

.

.

.

You haven’t heard from Josh. It’s been days. You know he is in Los Angeles and you’re supposed to be there with him. You had a whole day planned together just you and him doing Christmas activities. Now you’re at your apartment alone and heartbroken. You check your phone constantly waiting to hear from him. But nothing ever comes. Checking social media, but he never posts. He’s completely silent. Amelia drags you out of the house to do some Christmas shopping and you can’t help but see a thousand things that remind you of him. As you walk around an antique mall you spot an item that you know was put there for you to find. Even though you and Josh are not speaking, you purchase the item, knowing that it is the perfect gift. Even if you have to leave it on his porch, you know it is destined to belong to him. You take the item home and wrap it delicately in brown paper. That night when you check social media you are presented with a tagged post. The guys are in a restaurant in LA and they are drinking and look so happy and you are crushed. He looks so happy. You miss him so badly but don’t reach out. You can’t.

You convince yourself to watch the livestream of the guys performance tonight even though you know it’s just torturing yourself. As you see them walk up to be interviewed your eyes fill with tears. Josh looks amazing and happy. It hurts knowing you are here like this and he is there completely unaffected. They all smile and laugh and are glowing together. You can’t believe you ruined everything. A while later they take the stage but something is off. Their moods aren’t the same. The crowd is almost empty and quiet. You can see the frustration on Josh’s face. He is tired, and out of breath. They are rushing through the set, and as quickly as they started its over. This was their last show of the year and you know he won’t be happy with how they left things. You feel for him and again want to reach out but don’t.

One, two, three more days pass. Still you have heard nothing.

On the fourth day you wake up to a text message.

Jake: Call me.

You feel like you’re going to throw up. You can’t call Jake? That is adding more fuel to the fire. Why is he texting you? You think on it for a few more minutes as your finger hovers over the contact and you hit the call button.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Hi” you reply shakily.

“Hi” he replies. “How are you doing?” He asks.

“I’m not great Jake, I think you know that.” You quip back.

“I do, and I'm sorry.” He says, “Have you heard from him?”

“No.” You respond.

“I figured as much. You need to talk to him.” He says. “Go to his house.”

“I don’t know Jake he pretty much told me to leave and was gone before I left. I haven’t heard from him since. I think he is done.” You say.

“Hes not. Just trust me.” He says.

“Okay.” You reply.

“So you’ll do it. You’ll go?” He asks.

“When I gather up enough courage, yes.” You say.

“Do it soon. Please.” He begs.

“Okay, I will.” You say.

“Thank you, we miss you, you know...” He says

“I miss you guys too.” You reply

“I hope everything works out. I’ll talk to you later.” He says.

“Thanks Jake. Bye.” You say ending the call.

Well that was odd. You think about what he said. You thought you and Josh were done, but maybe you weren’t after all. You talk to Amelia and she agrees that maybe you just need to go talk to him face to face now that some time has passed. You get yourself ready and give yourself about 10 pep talks to keep yourself from backing out. You get into your car and head over. The worst thing that can happen is that he can tell you he is done and to go home. As you pull into the driveway you see his car and get a horrible wave of nervous energy in your stomach. You try to breathe and center yourself. As you get out and walk to the door you are still shaking with nerves. You knock on the door three times and wait.

The door opens and he stands there staring at you blankly, fresh out of a shower, wrapped in a towel.

“Do you always answer the door naked?” You ask shyly.

“Well I wasn’t expecting anyone...” He replies with the tiniest hint of a smile. “Come in.” He says.

As you walk in it no longer feels homey you feel strange and uncomfortable. You sit on his couch, and he tells you he will be right back. A few minutes later her returns fully clothed and sits down in a chair next to the couch. 

“Josh, I….” You start, you are unsure of how to explain how you feel but you hope he will understand if he just listens. “Im so sorry.”

“I know you are. He replies. 

“I never meant for any of this to happen. I love you so much. Only you. I don’t even know why I had that dream. It meant nothing to me….” You say.

“I know.” He says. 

“Can you say something? Anything other than I know? I am trying to make this right. I'm getting the feeling that you don’t want to do that.” You say.

“What do you want me to say? That you broke my heart? That you broke my heart thinking about fucking my brother? And that you enjoyed it? I have given you everything I have! I love you, I wanted it all with you! I just don’t know how I can get past this… it hurts.” he says.

“You left me here. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.” you say.

“I know. I had to know.” He says.

“Know what?” You reply.

“When I left here I drove straight to his house. I asked him if he had any feelings for you. To which he obviously said no. I told him what happened and told him that if there was anything going on he needed to tell me right then. He told me I was insane and that he would never do that. That I needed to go back to you before I ruined everything. When I got home you were gone.” He said.

“You told me to go Josh…” You say with tears in your eyes. 

“I know, I did but I didn’t think you would actually do it! I just knew I would get back in time but you were gone. I thought that meant you…” he swallows back his own tears.

“Josh no…” you say reaching for his hand. “I love you. Only you. Never anyone else. How could you possibly think…” you say fully crying now.

“I don’t know, I know you love me but I just… I over reacted and I was cruel and I thought I lost you. I almost came to you that night but I was afraid you would turn me away. And then I was in LA and I was miserable. But I couldn’t call you. I didn’t know what to say. Then Jake and I argued before the show because I just couldn’t let it go. I got too drunk that night and fought with everyone… everyone was pissed at me. My life has been a mess the past week and I didn’t have you, and everything just seemed really bad. Too bad. I finally talked to Jake last night and he helped me realize that I can’t do this without you. Any of it. I didn’t know how to make things right between us. I was going to let you go. Now you’re here and I still don’t know what to say other than I love you so much and I am so sorry. ” He finishes.

Launching yourself into his lap you sit straddling him and just cry on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and pull you closer. 

“I'm so sorry baby I never wanted this to happen. This was the worst week of my life, watching you sing from my bed, heartbroken. I thought you were happier without me there. The pictures were so convincing and I was so devastated.” You cry into his chest. “I will never want anyone else, only you Josh. Please believe me.”

“I do believe you angel.”

Your lips reuniting with a passionate kiss, his hands desperately gripping you to him.

Pulling away, you say “You know he called me and told me to come to you right?"

He stares at you.

“He told me to come here, to come to you. He loves you so much Josh, he was devastated for you. He cares about you so much. We both do. How could you ever think…” he cuts you off with his lips on yours again, his tongue finding yours, telling you everything he couldn’t say for the past week and a half.

You lips connected, he stands up from the chair carrying you to his bedroom and gently places you on his bed. 

“Please let me love you angel.” He says.

“Please Josh...” You beg. 

You are desperate for his touch, to feel him again.

You both quickly remove your clothes and find each other again under the sheets. 

“I never want to feel the feeling I felt when I came back and you were gone.” He says kissing your neck. “That was the worst pain I’ve felt in my life. I thought you were gone for good.” 

“I will never leave you Josh.” You reply.

“Promise me.” He says lining himself with your center.

“I promise. Everything I have.” You say as you feel him slowly push inside of you. 

This sex is different, it’s slow and filled with emotions. There isn’t an urgent moment. Every single second is spent with Josh reverently worshipping every inch of your body and you his. You both work slowly towards your release, sharing with each other every raw emotion and feeling in between the seconds. After you both come down from your orgasms he whispers into your hair, “I will love you forever my angel. Please never go.”

“Never.” You reply.

.

.

You and Josh become absolutely inseparable from each other over the next few days. You and he sharing a new found connection that brings you closer than you ever thought you could be. The days are spent watching Christmas movies together and enjoying just being together. Josh has asked you to come home with him for Christmas with his family and you can think of no better way to spend it. 

.

.

Christmas Eve at Josh’s childhood home proves to be nothing short of magical. Everyone is here and you feel so much love for all the people around you. Karen and Kelly have decorated the house with lights, and the inside is just as beautifully decorated as the outside. You spend the evening around the fireplace laughing, telling jokes and stories from years past. Sammy and Jake are completely wasted on eggnog and playfully bickering with one another as you all cheer them on. As you watch them, Josh stands up and pulls your hand up with him. 

“Come with me.” He says.

You follow behind him as he drags you by your interlaced fingers.

He leads you to the Christmas tree in the basement, squatting down and retrieving two small boxes from under the tree. 

“Josh, Christmas is tomorrow!” You say.

“I know and there will be things to open tomorrow too, but these are special. For me and you only.” He says.

“Fine then you get to open your special gift too.” You say retrieving the one you brought for him.

He hands you the small box, and you both sit down on the floor. He nods at you to go ahead with a huge smile on his face. You slowly unwrap the package and open the little white box. Your heart swells when you immediately recognize what it is. Its a gold necklace with a ‘J’ initial pendant. It is the necklace he has worn every night on his tour. 

“I want you to have it. Every night when I would put it on I would imagine what it would look like around your neck. My name. You were always meant to have it.” He says with his hand on your knee. 

“Oh Josh, I love it so much. Thank you. It means so much to me.” You say with a kiss. 

You put it on and clasp it around your neck.

“Its perfect. Exactly like I pictured it. Even better actually.” He replies lovingly. 

“Your turn! Gosh I hope you like it.” you say nervously.

Josh unwraps the gift pulling out a vintage leather-bound notebook with a worn cover. Inside the first page you have written a note.

“For all of your brilliant ideas. Don’t forget to live your dream, too. I love you forever."

Wiping a small tear from his eye, he then pulls out of the box, a super vintage handheld film video camera with a bright red bow attached. 

“I hope you like it, I saw it when you were in LA and thought of you.It broke my heart and I knew you were meant to have it. I didn’t know if I was going to see you again though. I was going to leave it on your doorstep, but this plan works out better.” You say giggling.

“You are the most amazing woman. The love of my life. It’s the best gift I have ever received.”

“I'm glad you like it, I love you so much Josh. Merry Christmas.” you say.

“Merry Christmas my love, although I do have one more for you. If… you want it.” He says playfully.

“Okay, only if you’re sure.” He says.

“Never been more sure than right now.” He smiles, handing you the box.

 You unwrap it the paper and open the box and there is a gold house key with a red bow tied to the top.

“Move in with me…” Josh asks. “I know you practically live with me now, but I want you there all the time. All of your things. I want to come home to you. Every late night at the studio, every long leg of tour…. I want you. If you can’t be with me there, at least I know you’ll be at home. Our home. ” He says.

“Are you… sure Josh?” You ask clutching the key in your hand.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life angel. I love you, I want this with you. All of it. Always. ” He says.

You kiss his soft warm lips as you respond throwing your arms around his neck. 

“Yes.”

.

.

.

.

fin

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[ask-the-tf2-mercs]

You don't have to answer this publicly if you don't wanna but I just spent an entire day reading your backlog of posts & I absolutely adore this blog, it's so damn fun. & sorry for any asks you might've received in the past 24 hours that are similar to things you've already answered, I was sending in a few asks as I was reading & might've not read far enough to avoid asking the same thing someone else already asked. Love the blog either way, tho!

HA! Don't worry about that at all. Hells, there's been many times I forget what's in my queue and end up almost answering a similar question twice. It.. almost happened literally just a few minutes ago even! (To the person who sent Heavy a question not too long ago: there's a similar one coming!) If anything's been asked that's already on this blog.. trust me, my ADHD brain ain't gonna remember. But I appreciate it, a lot! It makes me happy people still really love this blog. I enjoy running it a lot. And it makes me happy when moments like these come along and I've got enough asks for literally the next week's worth of posts. Is it frustrating at times? Sure. But godsdamn I love it. - Daniel

#//mundeez nuts

[maggie-004]

(Un-) Lucky coincidence – 14

Jenna Ortega x Fem reader

Summary: Jenna and Y/N had an eventful flight to Madeira and joined Toni's stream with lots of fun and laughter. Later, they enjoyed a heartwarming moment on the beach before a DJ session to end the legendary stream.

Everything in Cursive is German

Warnings: Fluff

Words: 3800

Jenna and I settled into the backseat of the car as her driver navigated the streets, taking us to the airport for our long-awaited vacation to Madeira. The soft glow of the city lights enveloped us, creating a cozy atmosphere inside the car. "I can't believe we're finally going on this trip together," I said, my voice filled with excitement. "It's going to be amazing." Jenna smiled, her eyes reflecting the same enthusiasm. "I'm thrilled too," she replied, her hand finding mine. "And I can't wait to meet Toni and you to be a part of her stream tomorrow. How long will you be in it?" I thought for a moment before answering. "Well, she's doing a 7-day stream, and tomorrow is her last day," I explained. "I'll probably join for a few hours, at least to show some support and hang out with her and her viewers. She's got such an incredible community, and it'll be fun to be a part of it." "Absolutely," Jenna agreed. "I've heard so much about Toni and her Twitch channel especially from you. And after our call a few days ago I am so happy to finally meet her in real life. It's wonderful to see you support each other's passions like that." As we continued chatting about Toni and our plans for the trip, I couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over me. Being with Jenna felt like coming home, and every moment we shared, whether big or small, was filled with love and joy. I knew that this vacation would be no different, and I was eager to create new memories together. At the airport, we made our way through security and settled into a cozy corner of the departure lounge. With a little time before our flight, Jenna pulled out her phone, and we scrolled through the pictures we had taken together over the past few days.

Our flight got called out, and Jenna and I went to get boarded, there weren’t much people at this time to take a flight to madeira, we got boarded first because we got first class tickets. As we stepped onto the plane, a wave of excitement washed over us. The friendly smiles of the flight attendants greeted us, and we were shown to our seats in the first-class cabin. The spacious and luxurious seats made us feel like we were embarking on a true VIP experience. Settling into our seats, Jenna and I exchanged happy glances. "First class is the way to go," I said, my eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "I can already tell this is going to be an incredible trip." Jenna nodded in agreement, while I appreciating the extra legroom and the comfort that awaited us during the flight. much-needed escape for both of us. We had been working tirelessly on our respective projects, and this trip to Madeira was a well-deserved break. During takeoff, Jenna reached for my hand, and I gladly interlocked my fingers with hers. The sensation of her touch was calming, grounding me even as the plane soared into the sky. We exchanged excited glances, knowing that the adventures that lay ahead would only strengthen our bond. Once the seatbelt sign was turned off, the flight attendants began their service, offering us drinks and a menu for dinner. Jenna and I browsed through the options, excited to indulge in some delicious cuisine during the flight. As the hours passed, Jenna and I spent the time chatting and making plans for our time in Madeira. We looked up places to visit, activities to try, and restaurants to savor the local delicacies. It felt like we were two eager explorers planning our own little paradise. Throughout the flight, the flight attendants catered to our every need, ensuring that we were comfortable and content. It was clear that they took great pride in delivering exceptional service, and we felt truly pampered. As the plane approached its destination, the anticipation grew even stronger. We eagerly looked out of the window, catching glimpses of the picturesque island of Madeira below. The lush green landscapes and stunning coastal views promised an unforgettable experience.

As soon as the plane touched down, we eagerly made our way to collect our suitcases. Jenna and I walked hand in hand, our fingers interlocked, navigating through the airport with a mix of excitement and shyness. You see, our relationship wasn't official at that moment, so we tried to be discreet about our feelings, even though our connection was undeniable. As we made our way through the airport, my phone buzzed with a message from Toni, our dear friend and streamer extraordinaire. She was waiting outside with her stream, ready to pick us up, and she wanted to know if Jenna was comfortable being live on camera. "Hey Jen," I said, turning to Jenna with a soft smile, "Toni just texted me. She's here to pick us up, and she's with her stream. Is it okay for you to be live on camera?" "Oh, how cute of her," Jenna replied, playfully pouting. "Of course, I'm okay with that, but I guess we'll have to let go of each other's hands for now," she added, pretending to be disappointed, though her eyes sparkled with amusement. "Yeah, you're right," I said, mirroring her pout and reluctantly releasing her hand. We tried to keep our relationship under wraps for now, but it was challenging when every fiber of our beings wanted to be close to each other." I do wonder why Toni is up so early," I laughed. "It's literally 6 a.m. Maybe she's just as excited as we are for this long-awaited reunion." "Or maybe she's just an early bird," Jenna teased, her playful spirit shining through. With our suitcases in tow, we finally made our way outside, where Toni stood with her camera, eagerly awaiting our arrival. The early morning sun bathed the scene in a soft glow, and the excitement in the air was palpable. Toni greeted us with a warm hug, capturing the moment for her stream viewers. "Good morning, everyone!" she exclaimed, her energy infectious. "Look who's here!" Jenna and I greeted Toni's stream viewers with friendly waves and smiles, doing our best to keep our affection under wraps.

The three of us climbed into Toni's car, and the adventure truly began, Jenna was a little tense at the beginning. The thought of being live on camera with an audience watching was a new experience for her, but after a few minutes, she visibly relaxed, getting more comfortable with the idea. Toni's warmth and the friendly interactions from her viewers soon put Jenna at ease. In the car, we had an absolute blast. Toni playfully put on some Deutschrap, a genre of music that Jenna wasn't very familiar with. The lyrics were rather raw and not exactly flattering in the German language. Jenna's face twisted in surprise and confusion as the intense beats filled the car. "It's, uh, quite energetic," Jenna commented, trying to find the right words as she navigated through the foreign lyrics. Both Toni and I couldn't help but laugh, fully aware of how different it was from what Jenna was used to. "You'll get the hang of it," I assured her, giving her a reassuring smile. But after a while, even Toni and I started to lose motivation for this kind of music. It was intense, to say the least. We all agreed it was time for a change and switched to some Techno/EDM, a genre we all enjoyed. The pulsating beats and catchy melodies instantly lifted our spirits, and soon, we were all nodding our heads to the rhythm. Driving around, we explored the beautiful surroundings and took in the stunning scenery. We laughed a lot, shared stories, and let the music be the soundtrack to our adventure. There was something magical about being together in that moment, embracing the freedom of the open road. As the sun began to rise, casting a warm glow over the horizon, Toni made a spontaneous suggestion. "Hey, do you want to go to the beach with Chat and me to watch the sunrise?" she asked, a hint of excitement in her voice. "Oh my god, yeah, I'd love to," Jenna exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. We eagerly made our way to the beach, our excitement growing with every step. As we reached the shoreline, we found a perfect spot to sit, our toes in the sand. The sky painted a breathtaking canvas of colors as the sun slowly peeked above the horizon. In those moments, time seemed to stand still as we watched the sunrise together. The world was quiet, and it felt like we were the only ones there, witnessing the beauty of a new day. Jenna snuggled close to me, her head resting on my shoulder, while Toni set up her camera to capture the magical moment for her stream. We soaked in the serenity of the sunrise, feeling grateful for the bond that had brought us together. "I can't believe how lucky we are," Jenna whispered, her voice filled with awe. "I feel the same way," I replied whispering, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "This moment, right here, is perfect."

As the sunrise painted the sky in hues of gold and pink, the chat in Toni's stream began to express their affection, spamming hearts and showering us with questions. Toni, being the lively and charismatic streamer she was, took the opportunity to address their curiosity. "Guys, women can be good friends as well," Toni exclaimed, playfully teasing the chat. She then grabbed each of our hands, intertwining them with hers, and raised them up for the camera. "Look, everyone can hold hands, so what?" she said, with a wink towards us where chat couldn’t see. Jenna and I couldn't help but chuckle at Toni's humorous response, feeling fortunate to have such an understanding and supportive friend. The chat reacted with excitement, filled with love and acceptance for our friendship, even if there was more to it than met the eye. As we continued to enjoy the serene beauty of the sunrise, the exhaustion from the previous night's journey started to catch up with Jenna and me. The warmth of the rising sun provided a comforting ambiance, and I could feel Jenna's head slowly drooping against my shoulder. Toni noticed our tiredness and gently squeezed our hands. "You guys must be exhausted," she said with concern. "Did you even get any sleep at all?" Jenna let out a small yawn, and I couldn't help but smile. "Nope," I admitted, "we stayed up all night, too excited about the first-class flight experience. No flex, by the way, it got sponsored." Toni laughed heartily, understanding our excitement. "Well, that's awesome," she said, addressing the chat again. "But now, let's head home. I'll show you both to your room, and you can catch up on some well-deserved rest." As we made our way back to the car, the fatigue was apparent, but the joy of being together and experiencing this adventure was undeniable. In the car, Jenna and I leaned against each other, finding comfort in each other's presence as Toni drove us back to her place. Once we arrived, Toni gave us a warm tour of her home. "Make yourselves at home," she said, gesturing towards the guest room. "Take a nap, freshen up, and when you're ready, we'll continue our stream together”. Once again the chat spammed emotes and comments about staying in the same room but they were ignored With that, Jenna and I gratefully thanked Toni, and each of us retreated to our room. As I lay down on the soft bed, my eyes quickly grew heavy, and the tranquility of the surroundings lulled us into a peaceful slumber.

After getting only five hours of sleep, I woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed. Glancing to my side, I noticed Jenna was still sound asleep, so I decided to let her rest a bit longer. I quietly got out of bed, determined not to disturb her peaceful slumber, and made my way upstairs to Toni's streaming room. Knocking gently on the door, I peeked my head inside, seeing Toni in the midst of her streaming setup. "Hey Toni, good morning," I greeted her with a smile. "Heeyy, already awake, huh?" she replied cheerfully. "Yeah, just me. Jenna's still fast asleep. I was wondering if it's alright for me to take a shower, and maybe get myself a coffee," I asked, feeling a bit hesitant about joining her stream so early. "Of course, go ahead! You can use the bathroom in my room; the other one is filled with microphones and cameras for my daily makeup session with chat," Toni explained with a chuckle. "You'll find towels in the closet. You remember where my room is, right?" I nodded in agreement, grateful for her hospitality. "Yeah, I remember. And about the coffee?" Toni smiled, pointing downstairs. "You can head down to see Maria. She's like my personal assistant, or you could say maid, but she's wonderful. Just remember to talk to her in English as she's Portuguese." "Thanks, Toni. I'll be back in a bit then. Oh, wait, can you mute yourself real quick?" I asked, remembering a need of mine. "Sure, wait… Okay, I'm muted. What's up?" Toni asked, her curiosity piqued. "Well, you know I smoke, and I really want to have a cigarette. Can I go out to your garden, or should I head out to the street?" I inquired, not wanting to break any house rules or the chat knowing I smoke because we are role models. Toni shook her head with a warm smile. "Oh, no worries at all. Please go ahead into the garden; there's an ashtray out there." "Thank you so much," I said, feeling relieved and grateful for her understanding. I waved goodbye to the chat, momentarily interrupting Toni's streaming, and closed the door. "So, chat, sorry für die Unterbrechung," I heard her say as I made my way to her room. After a refreshing shower, I headed downstairs to meet Maria, Toni's helpful assistant. She greeted me with a friendly smile, and even though there was a bit of a language barrier, we managed to communicate smoothly in English. With a steaming cup of coffee and an Avocado toast in my hand, I made my way to the beautiful garden. The sun was shining, casting a warm glow on the lush greenery around me. It was the perfect spot to relax and enjoy a quiet moment. As I sat there, savoring my coffee and taking in the tranquility of the surroundings, I couldn't help but feel grateful.

As I enjoyed the tranquility of Toni's garden, I ended up smoking two cigarettes, finding solace in the peaceful surroundings. After finishing, I decided to let Jenna continue resting and messaged her that I would be joining Toni for her stream, giving her directions to find us once she woke up. With that settled, I made my way back inside and headed to the kitchen to return my empty mug to Maria. Maria greeted me with a warm smile, noticing my now-empty coffee mug. "Would you like a refill, dear?" she kindly offered. I gratefully accepted her offer, holding out my mug for a second serving. "Thank you so much; your coffee is fantastic." With my fresh coffee in hand, I felt energized and ready to join Toni in her streaming room. Heading back upstairs, I could hear the cheerful chatter of the chat and Toni's lively responses.

As I entered the streaming room, Toni's face lit up, and she greeted me with enthusiasm. "Good morning, chat! Look who's joining us now!" she exclaimed, turning the camera towards me. "It's Y/N!" I waved at the camera, trying my best to match Toni's contagious energy. "Good morning, chat! How are you all doing?" I asked, feeling a rush of excitement as the chat flooded with emotes, including a sea of "Gumo" (Guten Morgen) and waving emotes. oni, with her infectious energy, turned to me during a break and said, "Y/N, can you believe how awesome this community is? They bring so much joy to my life every day!" "I know, right? They're absolutely amazing," I replied with a grin. "It's heartwarming to see how they come together to support you and share in the fun." Chat was buzzing with excitement, flooding the screen with messages and emotes. One chat member asked, "Toni and Y/N, have you two ever pulled any pranks on each other?" I chuckled, sharing a conspiratorial look with Toni. "Oh, we've had our fair share of pranks," I said mischievously. "But Toni is the master prankster. One time she convinced me that she had seen a ghost in her house, and I fell for it completely!" Toni burst into laughter, playfully defending herself. "Hey, you have to admit, I did a pretty convincing job! But don't worry, I always make up for it by being an amazing friend." "That's true," I admitted, teasingly adding, "Though you do have a way of turning even the most ordinary situations into hilarious adventures!" The chat was filled with laughter, and many shared their own funny prank stories and favorite moments from Toni's streams. The stream carried on, and Chat remained actively engaged, making jokes, sharing stories, after a while of just chatting, we hopped into a TikTok try not to laugh challenge. We couldn't contain our giggles, and even the chat joined in on the fun, sending us playful messages. One chat member wrote, "Toni and Y/N, your laughter is contagious! I can't stop laughing with you two!" Toni grinned at the comment and replied, "We're glad to be spreading the joy! And hey, we never said we were experts at the try not to laugh challenge!"

Toni and I struggled to contain our laughter. The hilarious videos proved to be too much for us, and we failed the "try not to laugh" challenge within minutes. Chat was having a blast, sharing in our amusement and sending an avalanche of laughing emotes our way. Just as we were wiping away tears of laughter, there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in!" Toni called out, still giggling. The door opened, and there stood Jenna, looking fresh and ready to join the stream. "Hey, sorry for the delay. I finally caught up on some sleep," she said with a smile. Toni and I both grinned, inviting Jenna to join us. "No worries at all! We're just having a hilarious time here," I said, motioning for her to take a seat next to us. Jenna settled in, and the chat exploded with excitement at her appearance. "Jenna is here! The dream team is complete!" one viewer exclaimed. With Jenna now a part of the challenge, we resumed watching the funny TikTok videos. She proved to be just as prone to laughter as Toni and I, and it didn't take long before all three of us were in fits of giggles. The chat was loving every moment, sharing in the joy of our laughter. As the challenge came to an end, we collectively admitted our defeat. "Well, that was a disaster," Toni said with a grin, and we all burst into laughter once again. "It's all about having fun, right?" Jenna said, wiping away tears of laughter. "Absolutely!" I replied, feeling grateful for these wonderful moments with my best friend and my girlfriend. After a while, we decided to take a short break and head downstairs to grab some snacks and refreshments. Maria, Toni's helpful assistant, had prepared a delicious spread of treats for us. Chat was still buzzing with excitement, sharing their favorite moments from the stream and suggesting ideas for future content. We engaged with them, taking the time to respond to as many messages as we could. Back in Toni's streaming room, we decided to play some fun party games suggested by the chat. Laughter and camaraderie filled the air. We stayed in Toni’s stream until 8:00 p.m. then Jenna said her goodbyes,

I went out with her and muted my microphone pulling Jenna close, I whispered, "I love you so much, and I can't wait for tomorrow, just the two of us, exploring this paradise together." Our foreheads and noses touched, and in that moment, time seemed to stand still. Jenna's warm breath on my lips heightened the anticipation, and without further hesitation, we leaned in and kissed passionately. Our make-out session was interrupted by Toni, who emerged from her streaming room and quickly realized what was happening. "Oh," she exclaimed with a playful smile before retreating back into her room. A few seconds later, she returned without her microphone, having discreetly left to give us some privacy. "Sorry, you guys," she chuckled, holding two energy drinks. "I just wanted to grab these for our DJing session." Jenna and I exchanged loving pecks and whispers before she decided to read a bit, and I returned to the streaming room. "Alright, chat, we're back, ready for some music?" I asked, trying to hype them up. Their excitement was palpable, and I couldn't wait to share this DJing session with them. However, I had an idea that could make this moment even more memorable. "Or," I suggested, "should we watch an episode of TMO first, so we can end this legendary stream with a DJ session, just like on the first 7/14 days stream +?" Toni loved the idea, and the chat was on board as well. We settled down at Toni's computer and enjoyed an episode of TMO together, sharing laughs and commentary with the chat. As the episode came to an end, we prepared for the 2 and a half hour DJing session. The clock struck midnight, and Toni hugged me, her eyes gleaming with gratitude. "Thank you chat so much for being here with me for these 7 incredible days, and our subaton on the 10 days. I love you guys so much," she addressed the chat, her voice filled with sincerity. "I'll be back live in a week, but until then, take care and goodbye, my lovely chat."

A/N: I hope you guys like this one, it’s a little bit more dipping into Y/N and Toni friendship.

#jenna marie ortega #actors #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #the fallout #wednesday #wednsday addams

[steverodgerslater]

3 month affair with my wife's best friend

Some background: My (37M) wife's best friend (37F) is actually a mutual friend of both of us. And we briefly dated before I got married. She also introduced me to my wife, and was pretty much the reason we got married.

Fast forward 9 years. My wife is the extremely jealous type. Unbearably so, she's falsely accused me of cheating in the past even though up to that point I had not. She was even jealious of me being alone with our friend. Our mutual friend, let's call her Jenny, has also been going through a tough time. She's single and hasn't been lucky finding "the one" despite having no shortage of guys interested.

One day as we were all sitting together Jenny tells me that we should talk one on one. I've always been sexually attracted to her and assumed she ended things in the past with me because I wasn't her type. I told her sure, let's go out for a drink just the two of us sometime.

We texted a time and location to meet. We were both supposed to be at work at that time. When we met we talked about life, our love life problems, and we were both resentful of my wife's jealousy that kept us from having a normal healthy friendship. I also admitted to her that I missed the days when we used to date. How she'd spend the night at my place and I'd go to work and still find her there when I got back. And we'd fuck every chance we got. I admitted to her, that she was the best sex of my life. It was true. When I said that, she got up from her seat and kissed me.

I was completely taken by surprise! "Sorry she said....I shouldn't have!". Before she could complete her train of thought I got up too, put my hand behind her head and kissed her back. This kiss was longer, and it was very clear that is was the result of 9 years of pent up sexual tension finally rupturing to the surface.

We went back to my car, and made out. I was in the driver seat and she was in the passenger seat. We started kissing again, I put my hand on the old manual reclining lever and reclined her seat back. I climbed on top of her. I knew her neck was her "spot" so I went from French kissing her to kissing her neck, as my erect penis was dry humping her through my jeans. She was extatic. Her hands clawed at my body. My hand snuck underneath her shirt, sliding up her belly to her bra, and into it, as I awkwardly cupped her breast.

We continued the makeout session for about half an hour. We wanted to take it to the next level but we were in a public parking lot on broad day light.

We both admitted to each other that that was the most passionate make out session either one one of us had had, and that we both felt zero guilt about what happened. In fact, it felt right.

After secretly meeting with Jenny, her initiating the first kiss and our make-out session in the car. We spent a week texting and sexting each other. It was fun to rekindle a relationship with an ex that you thought was long gone. An ex who is also your wife's best friend. Every time I'd look at her for the past 9 years, I'd flashback to when we used to be together. I'd picture her naked. I'd remember how she loved rough sex. I'd remember how we would absolutely wear each other out. And now was our chance to experience that again.

We both agreed to take a day off from work without my wife knowing and book a hotel room. I wanted it to be romantic so I booked us a nice suite with a Jacuzzi in it.

I got to the room first and filled up the jacuzzi. She arrived a few moments later, and as soon as she walked through the door she jumps on me. I carry her to the bed while kissing her and throw her onto the king-sized bed. We undress each other in a hurry and at this point I am rock hard. She looks just as sexy as she did 9 years ago. Just as I had pictured it every time I look at her. At this point we can't keep our hands off of each other. She notices my erection and teasingly licks the tip of my penis, then puts it in her mouth. She then gets up, looks at me seductively and motions me to follow her into the jacuzzi.

I get in, then she sits on top of me. I can feel the water jets hitting my back, her ass rubbing against my cock. Her wet slippery body against mine. I put my arms around her and start massaging her neck, then I move down to her back, then I reach around her and cup both of her breasts, I begin to kiss her neck and I can feel her nipples get hard in my hand. I can also feel her pussy make contact with my dick. At this point I flip her around. Carry her thighs over my shoulder. Her arms are still on the edge of the jacuzzi but I left the rest of her up and begin kissing her inner thighs. Alternating beteeen both sides, getting closer and closer to her pussy each time. Then I gently lick around her clit. Fuck! It tasted so good. At this point she's moaning like crazy and says "take me to the bed".

Like the fucking hulk I carry her, jump out of the jacuzzi throw her on top of the bed again, and jump on top of her all in one quick motion. We're both still soaking wet. I continue eating her out until her pussy is just soaking wet and so ready. I lay on top of her and slide my penis in.

I swear her pussy was made for me. I felt so good being inside her, and being with her. She was also loving it. Her fingertips clawing at my back saying "oh you feel so good. Fuck me!" The combination of her dirty talking and and desire for her made me cum wayyyy quicker than I would have wanted to. But I still didn't stop. I was still hard as a rock and round 2 blended into round 1.

What ended up happening the rest of that day was literally a 6 hour sex marathon. With short breaks between rounds. And even in those breaks we'd continue the foreplay. She gave me amazing head and ordered me to cum on her face. My wife has never said anything like that to me before. Of course I obliged her.

Towards the end of the day she was complaining about how sore her pussy was. But that still didn't stop us from going again and again and again. Each time it hurt her even more but she still wanted it and that made it hot as fuck. Even the initial thrust made her scream in pain, and pleasure at the same time.

Those 6 hours were a personal record for me. But it was a record that would be broken on another day with her.

Towards the end, she made me promise that our affair can't affect how I treat my wife. I'd still have to perform my marital duties to her as if nothing has changed. I agreed.

A couple of days later my wife initiates sex. I'm still thinking about Jenny though. I go through the motions with my wife. Still thinking of Jenny. But the problem is that my wife felt nothing like Jenny. There was no passion, no dirty talking. No clawing at each other like we both wanted to rip each other apart. None of that sexy concentual "violence" that Jenny and I had. Then I went soft while i was still inside her. She asked me what happened. I apologized and said that I was just tired and my mind wasn't into it.

A couple of days later she initiated again and I forced myself to last long enough to get us both there. But I felt nothing afterwards. All I felt was wanting to be with Jenny again.

Her texts indicates that she wanted the same. Whenever I'd get the chance I'd meet her somewhere for a quickie. In the car. In a parking lot. It was always fantastic.

There in lies the problem. This wasn't just sex. We were both catching feelings for each other.

The sexting, hookups, and hotel dates continued for some time. My wife was none the wiser, but she did have her suspicions that something was up. One time when all of us were together my wife was stroking my leg, and later Jenny asked her not to do that anymore in front of her because it made her jealous. Then she tried to backpaddle that statement by saying since she's single its not fair that my wife would "flaunt" her husband like that in front of her.

My love life with my wife also continued to deteriorate. I could barely look her in the eye and wanted to avoid contact with her as much as possible. She noticed that we were both acting weird. She had her suspicions that something was up but she had no concrete evidence of anything.

Jenny and I continued talking about our kinks, our fantasies, and bucket list items we wanted to try. We planned another hotel date. Little did either one of us know It would he our last.

Again Jenny arrived at the hotel shortly after I did. She knew that I was feeling stressed because of this whole situation and said that she wanted to give me a massage to make me feel better. She told me to strip and lay face down on the bed while she goes to the bathroom and changes. She came out wearing the hotel bathrobe and had a bottle of massage oil with her.

She poured the massage oil over me and began giving me a genuinely good massage. I could also feel her sitting on my back wearing nothing but her panties. I kept reaching back to caress her thigh but she'd slap my hand and tell me to relax. When she was done with my back I was genuinely feeling super relaxed. She asked me to flip and when I did the bathrobe became undone. She wasn't wearing anything underneath it besides her panties.

She began to oil up and massage my chest as I was playing with her beautiful breasts that were just hanging inches from my face. She also put some massage oil on my dick and began riding me, still wearing her panties. I slid her panties to one side and slid my oily erect penis into her. The massage was over and we both knew it. She rode me cowgirl style until I came. But we were just getting started.

I told her that I had a surprise for her. I laid her on the bed and blindfolded her. Then i tied her hands and feet to the bed using rope that I had purchased from a sex store. This was one of the kinks she said she had always wanted to try. We agreed on a safe word. Then I brought out a sex toy. It was a paddle on one end and feathers on the other one.

Blindfolded, I began to tease her with the feather. First, I'd stroke her face with it. Then her thigh, then her nipple. She admitted that being blindfolded and not knowing what was about to happen made it super exciting for her. Then I turned to the paddle side and smacked her nipple. She jolted, but no safe word. I then feathered the same nipple I had just slapped. And continued this process until her body was fully sensitive and alert. I then began to finger her pussy, gently. I licked her clit. She was trying to squirm but couldn't. Still no safeword though. I then took out a mini vibrator and began using it on her as I was giving her oral sex. At this point she was tryig to wrestle her way out of the ropes and screaming with pleasure. I am certain that everyone on our hotel floor could hear her. She was like a possessed demon. After I made her come I then fucked her until we both came. I could feel her vaginal muscles tighten as my penis throbbed in protest. At no point did she use the safe word though. I untied her and we cuddled.

This time we were together for a full 10 hours of sex, drinking our favorite wines which I had chilling in a couple of ice buckets, watching a movie together. Talking, and of course more fucking.

At one point she told me "I'm not sure how I'm ever going to settle for anything less than this. This isn't fair. You know you're not mine."

"Baby, even if I'm not yours now you know that we fucked up when we didn't pursue our relationship the last time. I don't want to make that mistake again."

I told her that my wife and I were having problems anyway and this experience with her made me realize that it would probably be best I got a divorce. The only thing that made me reluctant to do that is that we have a child together. I love my daughter dearly and I don't want to put her through this. Also I'll admit. None of this is my wife's fault. She's a great mom. This made Jenny uneasy.

But we agreed to keep our relationship a secret for the time being until we figured out how we would handle the situation. But it was clear that guilt was beginning to take its toll on the both of us.

Literally the next day Jenny texted me and said that it was best if we go back to being just friends again. She didn't want to be the reason that my wife and I break up. She also didn't think it was fair that she would get tied up in an affair with a married man and have to live a secret life to be with me. She said that right now she just wants to focus on herself but in the future wants to try her luck dating again. She said she knows that I'll always be her soulmate and that she knows she'll never find real happiness with anyone else, but she was willing to settle for less.

This has been a week ago. It hurts to talk to her, or see her. Although I'm not resentful at all. I'd rather keep her in my life as a friend than lose her all together. And for what it's worth I'm more happy to have had lived these last 3 months with her than I am that it had to end so abruptly. My wife still has no idea that anything happened. And now I'm at a crossroads. Do I follow through on pursuing a divorce knowing that my future with Jenny is not certain either way. Or do i continue to live an unhappy but stable and from the outside looking in picture-perfect life?

My (37M) 3 month affair with my wife's best friend(37F). Pt3 (final) : SluttyConfessions (reddit.com)

#confessions #friendcheat

[blubushie]

RANT/NSFT/SOME TRAUMA-DUMPING INCOMING

Sometimes I think about how I could just suddenly decide to make this a Sniper roleplay blog one day and not tell anyone and no one would notice because nothing would change.

"Yeah nah I'm out in New Mexico for a job–" I've already been to New Mexico for work. Expected.

"This month's target is–" Sometimes I do have specific targets. Sometimes I take bounties. Massive razorback that's already gored 2 sheep to death and wounded a third? Gonna pay me $500 to kill him? I'm on it. I'll bring the bastard's hide back in two days.

"Dad's yelling at me about my job again. Mum's begging me to come home. I've always been an other in my own country. I've never fit in. My own country doesn't want me." All me, baby.

There'd be no difference.

And sometimes people forget that this is my life. That I'm not a roleplay blog. Sometimes people kinda romanticise the whole bushman thing. They only see the upsides and don't see the downsides. I've been involved with some rough crowds. I'm damaged as a human being. I've done some bad things to survive. I'd done bad things because I wanted to. I've lost my head a few times too many. I've almost lost my life a few times more.

How do I look into my father's eyes and expect him not to see the person I've become? How do I hold my mother's hands and expect her not to see the blood on mine?

What people think my life is like—maybe that's my fault. Maybe I talk too much about the fun bits. Maybe I preach too highly of the stars, or the sunrises and sunsets, or the summer storms, or the beaches, or my encounters with the wildlife. Maybe I don't talk enough about how terrifying Australia can be. What it's like to wake up to the smell of smoke and be forced to outpace a bushfire with a smoking engine and a terrified, screaming dog next to you. How I'll wake up in the middle of the night to thunder in the Outback and I'll get Misty and leave because I'm not going to be caught in another tornado. How I've had my windscreen shattered with hail the size of billiard balls. How I've been chased up trees by angry pigs. How I've been caught in floods. What it's like to feel the moisture evaporate off your tongue as you die of dehydration. How I've been so thirsty I've drank my own urine. How I've been so hungry I've eaten dog kibble.

I can't read social situations. I'm autistic, so that's always been difficult, but I've lived in the bush since I was 19. I have spent most of my adult life without human contact. I've tailored myself to Australia's wildlife and that makes me act strange sometimes.

I piss in jars so I can pour them out near my camps to keep dingos away. I think I could take a dingo, but I'm not going to risk the safety of my dog.

I have a tendency to stare because when you stare at dingos and keep eye contact it's a territorial challenge. Stand your ground and they won't attack you. I find myself doing this to people that are no threat to me. It's the clerk at the servo, an old man at the shops, the lady across the street. I've been told it's creepy, and I can't help it.

I've forgotten how to act around people. I've built up this façade all my life to mask the autism because it's ostracised me, so I can appear more "normal," and it's funny how 15 years of masking can be thrown out the window by 3 years alone. Combine that with gradually going more and more feral over the past 3 years and is it any wonder why I can't hold conversations?

I don't smile with teeth because showing teeth to a predator is a challenge. I wake up at every little thing that goes bump in the night. In a house—a house, it's been years since I've lived in a building—sleeping out on the porch is the only way I can sleep. It works until someone drives past the street and I hear tyres and then I'm awake, and it's another half hour until my heart calms down enough to sleep again. I can slow my heartrate by force to get a good shot, but it doesn't work for waking up in a panic because I can't hold my breath long enough to make it work.

I have to sleep with a knife. Usually it's one. If I've had a rough day it becomes two or more.

There's things you see in the bush that change who you are as a person. Things you can't unsee. It's not all peaceful campfires and stargazing and pretty sunrises. There's things that are out there that people know are out there but no one talks about. That other people would call you crazy for saying you saw. Sometimes you'll meet an old blackfella in an Outback town who'll talk to you about it. Most won't, but every now and then there's one that will. It's no consolation. He'll just give you a name, something muttered under his breath that you probably don't catch and definitely can't pronounce, and he'll clap you on the back and tell you that it happens, and if he really likes you he'll give you a tinny and offer to shine your boots "to get the bush off." He'll act like he understands but then he'll turn to the bloke beside him, the one who's just listened in silence the whole time, and say "He's crazy" in words he doesn't know you understand.

Chihuahuas are popular in California. They sound like dingos, and I can't take my dog to the dog park.

I can't sleep. I wake up in cold sweats like I've been running a marathon. I dream of eyes watching me from the darkness, always the same dream. They get closer and I'm trying to keep some pitiful little fire going but it always goes out. I grab my torch, and the battery dies. I hear howls. I wake up. My dad's neighbour has huskies and they let the dogs out every morning at 5:30 on the nose and I can't sleep.

I don't know how to be intimate with people. My clothes stay on. My hat stays on. My sunnies stay on. I treat it like a job. I do my part, and I leave. I've never pursued someone. I've never approached someone first. I don't know what people see in me. I've never let someone kiss me, but I dream about it.

I can't sleep unless I have my back to something. I always have to face the door, see the door, when I'm in a building. I'm left-handed, so my left hand is always empty. I carry four knives on me at all times, or five if I'm in the bush and you count a machete.

Touch was never an issue with me before. Now it is. What few mates I have know not to stand behind me. I have to be approached like a horse--don't approach me from behind and if you do, make sure I know you're there.

I don't show emotion. I express it through touch—hands, or arms, or shoulders. I communicate love like I do with my dog, my best friend and my only companion. I feed her. I provide for her. I pat her head, I pat her back, I run my fingers through her fur, I share my meals with her. I hope she knows I love her. Matilda is my home, and I tend to her carefully. I wash her windows. I keep her petrol tank topped off. I keep her clean and tidy. I fix her flats myself, I never curse her when something goes wrong, I keep her parked in the shade when I can so her engine doesn't overheat. I hope she knows I love her. My rifle is my lifeline, and without her I am useless. I clean her every night, even if I don't use her. I buff out her scratches with a gentle hand, I handload the ammo she fires, I polish her walnut stock. I've memorised her serial number. I know her better than I know myself. She knows me better than I know myself. She's seen me at my worst and at my best. I hope she knows I love her.

I hit a low point last year. I saw a therapist in Melbourne for three weeks. I hate the cities. She wouldn't call me Blu. She called me by my legal name. Strike one. She asked me too many questions about my job, about where I go and what I do. "You said you live out in the bush. It's the 21st century. What are you doing out there that makes you flinch when a car backfires? That makes you so untrusting of people?" Strike two. "You have PTSD symptoms on par with a veteran who's seen combat," she said. "I want to refer you to a doctor who can get you on medication for your anxiety." I've been put on it before. I asked if it'd make my hands shake. I can't shoot with shaking hands. "Living in the bush isn't any way to live. You should sell your guns-" I hate that term, guns. She's a rifle. "-And move somewhere permanent. You should reacquaint yourself with society." Strike three. I never went back.

I can't communicate well through words. People forget that, or maybe they aren't aware to begin with. I'm a good listener, I've been told, but don't expect an articulate response.

Too many people think that trauma is just "something bad that happened to me." Bad things happen to everyone. Most people don't have any kind of trauma. Most people do not have PTSD.

It's one of those things that really bother me. It's usually just edgy teenagers going "oh I'm so traumatised" or just people on social media proclaiming their trauma when it's just "bad thing happened" and not actually trauma. It's been downplayed to a detrimental degree, to a point where any bad thing that happened is now trauma and so nothing is. This also applies to things like intrusive thoughts. I have intrusive thoughts. They're not random impulses like you hear people talking about on TikTok—they're obsessive, disturbing thoughts that you can't stop thinking about. That's what makes them intrusive. Oftentimes they include violence toward yourself or others. Sticking your hair in a bowl of pasta is a random impulse—it isn't an intrusive thought. Seeing someone walking down the street and picturing their dead body is.

One thing about actually having trauma is that you become really good at picking up when people actually have trauma or when they're just saying shit to be edgy and get a reaction out of you. Here's the tip: if they're constantly bringing up their trauma, fair chance they're lying. The thing about trauma is that it's traumatic. It's traumatic to remember, it's traumatic to think about, and you don't want to talk about it. You might bottle it up so much that you end up screaming into the void like I'm doing, or if you really feel safe with someone you might be willing to discuss it, but you don't talk about it unless it's really eating at you. You don't bring it up out of nowhere all the time to remind people of how traumatised you supposedly are. That's attention-seeking, edgy behaviour.

I had a mate dump some pretty heavy stuff on me without warning a few days ago, about some violent thoughts they said they have. That's another tipoff: people who actually have violent thoughts are ashamed of them. They don't talk about them unless very prompted, they don't bring them up out of the blue. I'd only been talking to this person for a month. They were the edgy type, but they're overall kind. I was edgy as a teenager too. I was hurting and I wanted someone to listen. I understand where they came from. I grew out of it, but I understand.

That said, I've got my own stuff going on in my life. Stuff that's happened to me that I don't talk about. Stuff I've done that I don't talk about. I've got my own secrets that I'll take to my grave. I don't have the mental capacity to really handle more. Sure, I can take some venting. I can even take some trauma dumping if you warn me first and don't blindside me with it. If I know someone well enough I can make the effort and try to figure out how to smooth things over, but most of the time I'm at a loss. I am not the person to come to for an emotionally compromising conversation. I am not a therapist.

I told them this and they laid into me. "Can't I tell my friend how I feel? I'm not a therapist either but I listen to people I care about." I reiterated that it's a discussion for a therapist and I'm not one. I was uncomfortable with this conversation. I told them I'm not good at handling emotional stuff. Their response?

"My advice? Fix that. No one will stick around with someone who can't even pretend to care. It took me a long time to learn but I did. I help even when I'm at my lowest. I listen and I care, or I pretend to." I've pretended my whole life. I'm tired of pretending. It's exhausting. "Whatever, you can't help people who don't want help."

People wonder why I don't open up, why I'm stone cold, and that's why. Because when you open up, people will use that shit against you. My job's taught me to be ruthless. I must fire true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will.

And sometimes there's a crack in that façade I've made. Sometimes the soft parts seep through like the solder in a bad weld. Sometimes it drips through my fingers, or my mouth, or my eyes. The difference is that in my line of work it's not something I can let people see. It's a weakness I can't afford to have. But I think the desire for companionship is human. To desire to be intimate, to form friendships, is to be human. My hands were made for holding more than rifles and cartridges. I have more of a purpose in this world than being an equaliser. I'm more than the weapon I've made myself to be.

But then I hear things like that. I hear the parting words of a mate I've lost—"With this attitude you will go on being alone in the bush"—and I wonder if I've already stopped being a person. If I've just solidified the other I've always felt I've been.

I think I lost my humanity a long time ago.

#blus blues

[fundielicious-simblr]

(Lana's pov)

Newlywed life has been glorious! We've spent loads of time together, creating a routine for ourselves and just enjoying being married. Date nights are something we were advised to prioritise by almost everyone who gave us advice, so we've been going out once a week wherever we are or having date nights at home. Sometimes we're at a fancy restaurant, a small cafe, or we have a small picnic in the park - as long as we're together.

Since moving to Newcrest I've been loving being near Parker's brother and sister-in-law, they have the most kids out of all of Allan and Casandra's kids and she gave birth to their 11th child, Jackson, a few days after our wedding! I've loved getting to know the kids over the past few months and I'm happy that I can spend more time with them now that we live close by. I've also enjoyed spending time getting to know my fellow Kyleigh, at the reception Kyleigh, Stacie, Lorilee and I took a group selfie that we labelled the Mrs.Collins club. It's been great to hear her testimony and stories from her childhood and her walk with the Lord, she grew up an only child so it was so interesting hearing her experiences since I can't relate.

Little Jackson is such a cutie, he's still learning how to exist as a little human and is finding out new things about himself almost everyday. The great thing about being over at Kyleigh and Barrett's house is because there are so many children there's always someone to talk to, they have 3 toddlers in the house who love snuggles too, which I'm always down for. Some days when I have a few hours to spare, I'll ask Kyleigh what their plans are for the day and if there's any way that I can help. Sometimes I come over and read to the toddlers while Kyleigh focuses on school with the older kids, other days I come over just to keep the toddlers occupied because it's something I enjoy.

I don't just stick to the toddlers and infants, I've recently taken advantage of the hot summer weather and taken the older kids out for various activities. It's been great getting to know them and learn about their individual personalities and their interpersonal relationships. I had 3 of the girls in my bridal party and they're still talking about how much fun they had! None of the kids know how to roller skate, so our afternoon at the rink was a bit of a steep learning curve for them - but they did say they had fun regardless. We also had a water balloon fight in the park that's next to the skating rink, which is definitely fun when you have a big group of kids with you. As we were on the way home, all the kids could talk about was doing it again, which we're definitely going to have to do whilst they're still on summer holiday. Their family usually travels to an annual camp with Parker's parents and other relatives during the summer, but with the timing of Jackson's arrival they chose to sit this year out. Hopefully the adventures with the kids continue and we can add more kids to the mix as they grow older.

#fundie sims #fundiesims #quiverfull sims #quiver full sims #collins family #collins legacy #modest sims #sims 4 legacy #homeschool sims #gen 3 #Parker and Lana #Barrett and Kyleigh #gen 4 #post #lana is going to make her inlaws love her by fire or by force #which is actually working u know #free childcare will make you fast friends #bonding w the kids is acc cute tho

[hermeticimp]

Full Moon in Pisces (8.30.23) - Savior Complex

So, the Full Moon is in Pisces right now and my favorite artist's birthday was yesterday, so I'm dealing with a lot of feelings. I was encouraged to share them by @adapembroke and we've been trying to get me to post more, so here's hoping this is the full start of that. I won't get into my adoration for Michael here. That is something I will do in future posts because I have plenty I plan to write on him. This is about the raw emotions and realization that hit me in the last 24 hours. Just know that love goes deep and is unshakeable. Continues under the cut

I have feelings - especially since Michael's birthday was literally yesterday and he has a Pisces Rising (like me) conjunct his Pisces Moon. I spent Monday and Tuesday listening to him - the first day my brother was cooking for school, so we spent the day downstairs listening to his albums and going back and forth on what we appreciated about them. I find his album Dangerous from '92 is a surprise favorite since it's very 90s but even 30 years later still speaks on things we deal with now.

Then yesterday, I watched one of his live tour performances. I was having fun for awhile, but then it hit me just how much I miss and love him and why I fear shining too much as a sensitive person - because I watched one of my idols be destroyed by the world he was in. A person I share all my critical angles with, a person who also has Leo and Virgo placements and a Libra NN, his being conjunct my natal Chiron. He was a star who loved and shared his heart and he was crucified for what he said. That terrifies me. Michael's music was one of a handful of artists' that got me through the hardest times and his death was a changing point in my life. I love him much more than I would ever want to admit - even to myself, which makes that fear all the more real. I don't want to go out like he did. I don't wanna be destroyed for daring to be a voice against the crowd. It feels like all kinds of past life wounds and fears have been dredged up with this moon transiting my 12th and 1st houses.

So that was a lot. I've been really reflective. At the same time as this fear, I found a podcast last night about learning to embrace your voice and I've spent part of today reading the book "My Friend Fear". I even managed writing the characters I've been meaning to write for months this past week. So I don't want to let fear stop me, regardless of how valid. I just need to figure out balancing my fear and my need to use my voice. I think Michael being so relevant right now is meant to help with that.

Another theme that's been prevalent in the last few weeks, but feels pretty poignant on top of what I said is the concept of being someone's "savior". That theme has come up a lot. There's even a song ("Savior") by someone I look up to - Kendrick Lamar - where he talked about how he couldn't be anyone's savior even though people wanted him to be. On another song on the same album ("Mirror"), he apologizes for choosing to save himself and his family and not being that savior - which irked me when it came out (last year) because I never felt he needed to be sorry for that. You can't save everyone. You shouldn't be sorry for choosing yourself, especially when you've already given so much.

And yet, that's what Pisces does. It gives and gives and gives until it has nothing for itself. And it fails to have compassion for itself. It's inconjunct Leo, who healthily does take care of itself. They both have to learn the balance between healthily self-focus and giving compassionately and genuinely. And I've been struggling with that. Michael struggled with it and in the end, the Pisces shadow is how he left the world. I don't want that. If these Leo transits have taught me anything, it's that I don't want that. Sure, being vulnerable is scary, but I've spent my whole life being self-sacrificial and not valuing myself. It didn't get me anywhere good - not in the long-term. So why not embrace myself and who I really am? Why not embrace self-compassion and love while still giving people room to be themselves? I won't allow myself to stay transfixed by my pain. I will continue to dive deep and transmute it into light while exploring my depths and the depths of the world around me - to go underneath the underneath.

I will be me, even in this world that says that's wrong. I don't have a choice. Even if that means confronting what scares me most. I have to live for me.

I'm not anyone's savior but my own. You can't be anyone's savior but your own. The best you can do is lead by example - to be an inspiration, a Muse - the last of which is hilariously on the nose for me since I played a Greek mythology video game called Stray Gods: A Roleplaying Musical this past week where you play as a Muse who helps solve people's issues by getting them to sing what's in their heart. She can't force them to lie or go against their true nature, but she can elicit and inspire them to express themselves truthfully (to an extent). Even funnier is that the character's name - Grace - is one of the meanings for my nickname irl - Anna.

Michael's asteroid - like Hermes - lies in my 11H in Cap. He's an inspiration, a guiding light, a Muse… but he isn't my savior. He shouldn't have been anyone's but his own. And I won't try to be anyone else's either. Not if I want to make it out of this life the way I want to. I can't fall into the Neptunian illusion or Jupiterian delusion of grandeur. I have a voice and I will share it. If people resonate, they do and that's great. If they don't, that's fine too. It's not my job to save everyone - only to be share what I feel needs to be said and expressed for us to start healing as a whole. To share what I need to to express myself and be of service by doing so. I don't want to lose my faith and magic in this world, my sense of wonder. Michael is one of those that reminds me of that - for good and bad. I will honor myself first and foremost. I won't drown in this ocean inside me.

#astrology #ada's school of narrative astrology #narrative astrology #pisces #michael jackson #full moon in pisces #my writing

[edith-hyde]

Norman Osborn X Female Reader

I Forgot My Umbrella - Part 27

Word Count: 3519

Summary: With a work deadline fast approaching, you try to get Norman to understand the stress your under. You make dinner plans with some friends as a way to have some fun, but Norman doesn't seem to be enjoying himself. What could be bothering him?

Warnings: Age gap. PG-13.

A/N: The epic return! I cannot promise I will be back to regular posting. my health and irl responsibilities are unpredictable. Still, I hope I've broken through this writer's block.

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——

The work week began rather hectically. Monday morning, Norman dropped the bomb on you about planning a big important gala. And it was made worse by the fact that this gala had to happen by next Friday. As his assistant, it fell to you to get in touch with all the necessary people to make it happen. Renting the venue, hiring the catering, choosing a theme, creating the invites- it was all very stressful. You spent the whole week trying to get everything sorted but you kept running into roadblocks. 

And truthfully, Norman wasn’t helping. 

Friday came and it was already an hour past the time you usually left for home. But you were still sitting at your computer, angrily staring at your screen as you tried to design invites. Norman came up behind you and completely broke your focus by pressing a kiss to your neck. You immediately tensed up and pulled away, trying to get closer to the screen. 

“Not now, Norman. I’m sorry.”

You could practically feel Norman’s dejection, but didn’t turn to look at him. Instead you clicked on a few more options in the program, trying to decide which font looked best. You may be an artist, but you didn’t do so great with graphic design. 

“You’ve been at this all day,” Norman whispered as he tried to pull you back to him, “You need to take a break.”

You rolled your eyes, doing your best to ignore Norman as he nuzzled into your hair. His hands gripped your shoulders and you felt a tinkle go up your spine. It seemed as though he didn’t care anymore if he was spotted on cameras. And right now you were too frustrated to care either. Even if you did want to give in to Norman, you knew you couldn’t. 

“I don’t need a break, I NEED to finish it.”

“It’ll be there on Monday, my dear-”

You pulled out of his grasp, swiveling around in your chair to meet his gaze. You were doing your best not to be annoyed, but he was being especially clingy today. This was the fifth time he tried to distract you from work! You loved all the affection, but there was a time and place for it. 

And that time and place was not now. 

You forced a smile, stood, and reached out to straighten his tie. A pleased smile overtook his face and he leaned a little closer to you. But you did not close the gap as you fixed him with a serious gaze. 

“Norman, I love you to death. You know that. And I normally would want nothing more than to go back to your place and have some dinner or go out somewhere nice. But I have a mountain of work to do and you keep distracting me. I don’t bother you when you throw yourself into your equations. This-” you gestured back to the computer, “-this is my equations.”

You smoothed out his tie and pulled your hands away. 

“Making sure this gala is planned correctly is very important to me. How would it make you look as a CEO if the gala was a total failure? What would people think of me as your assistant? This is my first big job. I don’t wanna mess this up. Okay?”

Norman searched your face and you saw several emotions flash in his eyes. His brow furrowed and he cocked his head.

“I… I guess I didn’t think about how much work went into planning one of these things… I’ve never done it myself.”

As Norman met your gaze, he reached out to rub your arms. 

“But I don’t want you to overwork yourself, my dear. The work week is done. It’s time to relax.”

You rolled your eyes and sat back down. He still wasn’t fully understanding how stressful this was for you. You didn’t have time to relax.

“You should’ve given me more than a two weeks' notice if you wanted me to have time to relax. I still have to figure out what food to cater! At the very least I wanna get the invitations, theme, and decoration plans done today. I would’ve gotten them done hours ago, but you’ve made it your mission to distract me at every crucial point.”

Norman bowed his head and you felt guilty for causing him to look so sad. You wanted to apologize. To give in. That’s what you were supposed to do right? 

The two of you stayed in silence and you started nervously twisting your sleeves. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-”

Norman held up his hand to stop you. You feared his anger. But his response shocked you.

“No. You’re right,” Norman admitted as he met your gaze, “I’m the one that should apologize. You are being very responsible while I’ve been acting like… well… a lovestruck teen I suppose.”

Norman pinched the bridge of his nose and you could see the tension in his shoulders. 

“The power you have over me…”

His muttered words made you blush and you ducked your head. 

“If… if you want me to get this done quicker… you could help.”

Norman met your gaze with a quizzical look.

“It’s your Gala,” you said with an eye roll, “You should have a say in how some of it looks. Plus I just need a second opinion on some of these color choices.”

“I don’t really have an eye for these things,” he warned, “I wouldn’t be much help.”

“I’ll make you a deal. Help me finish the invitations and we can go out somewhere.”

Norman grinned as he spun your chair around and pushed you up to the computer. He leaned over your shoulder, his cheek brushing against yours as he set his attention upon the monitor. 

“So what colors were you considering?”

Your breath caught in your throat and your eyes darted towards the camera. But truth be told, you didn’t want to tell Norman to back up. It had been a long week and it felt like an eternity since the two of you were this close. So instead of trying to keep your cover and pull away, you leaned your head on his as you spoke. 

“I was thinking purple and green.”

Norman gave a noise of disgust.

“What were your other choices?”

“Red and gold or blue and red.”

“How about blue, gold, and black?”

You changed the colors on the invitations and smiled. 

“I think that could work. What about the theme? It needs to be obvious on the invitation. According to the emails, last year was nautical themed and that went over quite well.”

“What were you thinking?”

“Well there’s the fun classics. Fantasy or Masquerade.”

“Why not combine them, hmm?”

You glanced at your boss to find his eyes on you. 

“You sure? A Fantasy Masquerade seems a bit cliche.”

Norman shrugged. 

“Cliches exist for a reason. People like them. It will also help to encourage people to donate anonymously. Could be a big hit.”

You turned back to the monitor and started making changes. 

“Alright then. I’ll add a little image of a mask and type in the dress code… add a gold border… and… wha-la! Whatcha think?”

Norman pressed a kiss to your temple just before standing. 

“I think it looks great. Now get that sent to the printers and grab your coat.”

You laughed as you did as you were told. 

“You’re so impatient!”

“We haven’t been able to go on a date all week. I want to spoil you as a reward for working so hard.”

Norman grabbed your hand and walked with you to the elevator. 

“Please don’t go buying me a bunch of expensive stuff.”

“How about just an expensive dinner then?”

“I suppose I’ll let you do that.”

Norman chuckled as he kissed the back of your hand. The two of you expected the elevator to take you all the way down to the lobby, but the doors suddenly dinged and opened around the 10th floor. You immediately pulled your hand away from Norman’s and stepped away from him. The both of you tensed up and tried to act like nothing was going on. 

But, as the doors opened, you watched Norman relax and even smile. 

“Otto,” he greeted, “And Rosie! It’s been awhile.”

Dr. Otto Octavius and a beautiful browned haired woman entered the elevator. Norman gave the woman a quick embrace and she laughed. 

“It has been awhile, hasn’t it? You haven’t changed much.”

“He smiles more,” Otto laughed. 

Norman rolled his eyes as the doors shut. He ignored Otto’s comment, and gave Rosie a pleasant smile as he spoke to her.

“What brings you into the office today?”

Rosie grinned as she patted Otto’s arm.

“This one lost track of time so I came to get him. I have to make sure he eats.”

As you listened to the trio talk, you folded in on yourself trying not to interrupt. You pushed yourself against the back wall, giving them room. 

But your presence did not go unnoticed. 

Almost immediately after the usual pleasantries, Otto gave you his attention as if you were the most important person in the small space. He brought you to Rosie’s attention, gesturing towards you with a beaming smile. 

“Rosie, this is Y/N. The young woman I told you about.”

You instantly felt self conscious as the older woman smiled at you. She offered her hand to you and gave you a confident handshake. 

“So this is the woman who tamed the beast?”

You gaped at her, quickly glancing at Norman. His mouth formed a hard line as his brow furrowed. But there was no anger in his eyes. He just looked mildly annoyed. 

“He’s not a beast,” you whispered. 

Rosie grinned. 

“Perhaps not. Still, from what Otto tells me, you’ve really managed to soften him up.”

“Have I disappeared?” Norman snapped. 

Rosie leaned in to whisper in your ear as she gave Norman a side eye. 

“You’ve got your hands full with this one.”

You grinned and Rosie gave you a knowing smile. Norman glanced between the two of you before rolling his eyes. 

“So,” Rosie laughed, “Where are the two of you headed tonight?”

You looked to Norman who sent his blue eyes skyward.

“Haven’t decided yet actually.”

“Why don’t you both join us for dinner?” Otto offered, “We were going to try a new place that just opened by the park.”

Norman glanced at you, awaiting your thoughts on the matter. Quickly you smiled and nodded. It would be nice to be around people who didn’t care about the differences between you and Norman. You had never been on a proper double date. It could be fun. 

“That sounds fun! Is it okay with you?”

You looked at Norman, trying to get a read on his expression. At first he looked annoyed. Like he really didn’t want to. But when his eyes met yours, his features softened and he gave a small smile. 

“Of course.”

You gave him a grin and you noticed the amused smile on Rosie’s face. She was clearly pleased by what she was seeing. It made you feel self-conscious but also extremely happy. To see someone so supportive of your relationship made your heart soar. 

You couldn’t wait to get to know her. 

———

Norman fought against the urge to be aggravated. He wanted you all to himself but he knew that wasn’t fair. It would be good for you to get to know Otto and Rosie. They were two people who didn’t have a negative opinion of your relationship so he should be happy about this arrangement. 

But he wasn’t. 

Still, Norman tried to stay on his best behavior. He kept his cordial smile plastered to his face most of the evening as you chatted with Rosie and Otto. As the night wore on, you became more and more comfortable with them- making them laugh as you told your stories. While Norman found great delight in watching you, he struggled with the overwhelming need to have you all to himself. 

“She hasn’t even looked our way all night. They’re taking her away from us!”

As the Goblin’s voice tore through Norman’s mind, he bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He hid his face behind his left hand as he tried to get his mind under control. 

Not a second passed before your hand came and grabbed his. 

You didn’t even miss a beat in your sentence. 

With your eyes still on Otto and Rosie, you held Norman’s hand under the table. He felt his heart quicken for a brief moment- his ears burning. But relief quickly followed as a genuine smile took over his features. 

Somehow, even though you weren’t looking at him, you had sensed the worries he was battling.

And, just the touch of your hand reassured him that his anxieties were ill placed. 

You were allowed to have connections outside of your relationship with him. You were allowed to give other people your attention. He couldn’t monopolize your time and love. 

No matter how much he wanted to. 

The Goblin stayed silent for the rest of dinner and Norman was able to loosen up and enjoy himself somewhat. However, Norman had a sinking suspicion that his constant pest would be back. 

And he would certainly bring his anxieties with him. 

As the four of you were leaving the restaurant, you and Rosie exchanged numbers and addresses. Rosie invited you to visit her whenever you wanted- something that really seemed to make you happy. 

That assumption was confirmed as soon as you slid into the passenger seat of Norman’s car. 

“I really hope Rosie and I can be friends. It is so nice to be able to talk with someone who can converse about more than boys, drama, and the latest fashion trends.”

“I take it your young friends bore you?”

With a laugh you shrugged. 

“They don’t so much as bore as they annoy.”

“Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself tonight,” Norman said. 

He did his best to sound sincere. 

“Me too. I’ve never been on such a mature double date before. It was nice. I had no idea Dr. Octavius was so funny!”

Norman nodded in response, not really feeling like talking anymore. He may have loosened up and fought against his dark desires, but he was starting to feel the weight of his worries again. He imagined you becoming better friends with Rosie. Spending more time with her. Being closer to her than you were to him…

It felt as though the Goblin was right behind him, waiting. 

So silence settled between you and Norman for almost the entire ride to your apartment. Norman parked out front and expected you to get out, but instead you turned to him and grabbed his hand. 

“Are you okay?”

Concern was written on your face and Norman felt his heart drop. He hated making you worry. He tried to force a smile as he nodded. 

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

You scowled, narrowing your eyes. 

“You wanna try that again with a smile that doesn’t look like it’s made of plastic?”

Norman rolled his eyes and dropped his facade. As his face settled into an expression of discontent, you scooched closer to him. This meant you had to pull your legs up into the seat and practically sit on the middle console. But you didn’t seem to mind. And Frankly, Norman didn’t either. He hoped that the closer you were the better he’d feel. 

“What’s bothering you?” You asked, “You were worrying about something all through dinner, I could tell.”

“It’s stupid,” Norman muttered. 

“No it isn’t,” you countered, “If something is bothering you, then it’s important to you.”

“If I tell you… you…”

You cocked your head. 

“I’ll what?”

Norman’s anxieties came crashing back upon him as if a floodgate had been opened. Instantly, the Goblin’s gravely voice echoed in his mind. 

“She’s already trying to replace us,” The Goblin warned, “If she starts spending time with Rosie, that means even less time with us. You can’t let her do this.”

Norman remembered how he felt at dinner and, while he felt guilty for it, he also felt the need to act upon it. He didn’t want to share you with anyone. But he knew that if he told you, you’d be afraid of him. 

“She’ll reject you. Throw you to the curb. I told you, Norman- she’s a weakness.”

Moved by an emotion he had no name for, Norman lurched forward to kiss you. 

He wasn’t entirely sure why he reacted this way, but he seemed to be seeking some kind of solace in the action. As if doing so would make him feel better. 

Or perhaps he wanted to silence the Goblin. 

His hand snaked into your hair as he pulled you to him. His kiss was forceful and angry as his thoughts raced through his mind followed by the Goblin’s maniacal laughter. You kissed him back but he felt you wince when his hand closed into a fist, pulling some of your hair. Instantly, you broke the kiss, pressing your hands against his chest. 

“Norman?”

Your worried tone snapped his eyes open and he let go of you. Out of breath, he settled back into his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. 

“Talk to me,” you prompted, “What’s going on?”

“I’m… frustrated.”

“Okay. About what?”

“Me…. You…. Them…”

“Them?”

He glanced at you and sighed. He had no idea how to explain himself without scaring you. Or without explaining the Goblin. Surely if he fully explained how he was feeling, you would see it as a red flag and leave him. 

Or worse. 

You might call the police if he told you the truth about the Goblin. 

“Norman, I think you’re being dramatic again. Just, please, tell me what’s wrong. I promise I will not laugh or make fun or even get angry. I just want you to be okay.”

Norman sighed but he felt reassured by your words. 

Perhaps it was finally time to start trusting you with his thoughts. 

“I… I don’t want to share you with anyone. I know I should. I know it’s wrong to feel like this. I shouldn’t…. I shouldn’t want to possess you. You’re a person with your own thoughts and will. I should be happy that you’re going to be friends with Rosie. But we get angry when we think about you spending time with her instead of us.”

“… we?”

Your questioning tone made Norman’s heart fall into oblivion. Horror crawled up his spine as his blood ran cold. 

Did he really say we?!

“Did I… did I say we?” Norman forced a smile, “I’m sorry. I’m very tired and I’m not thinking straight. I just need to go home and get some rest.”

Norman rubbed the back of his neck, eyes aimed downward. He wasn’t lying. He suddenly felt extremely tired.

“Perhaps I’m starting to show my age,” he said with a dry laugh, “I’m going senile.”

You reached out to caress the side of his face.

“You’re not senile,” you said with a loving smile, “Dramatic? Sure. Rife with jealousy? Most certainly. But not senile.”

“I’m sorry,” Norman repeated, “You’re right about the jealousy. Sharing wasn’t a lesson I learned as an only child.”

You laughed and moved to hold both of his hands in yours. 

“It’s okay. It’s never too late to learn. Just so long as you’re willing to.”

Norman scoffed and met your gaze. 

“You’ll have to be patient with me. This won’t be easy for me…. Honestly I’m surprised by your response.”

You cocked an eyebrow, prompting him to continue. 

“I just told you that I don’t want you to have any friends other than me. Your immediate response should’ve been to leave me.”

You tilted your head down giving him your best ‘are you serious’ face. 

“Norman. I told you from the get-go that I don’t expect you to be perfect. The fact that you’re aware it’s wrong to feel like that speaks volumes. And it’s not as if I’ve never gotten irrationally possessive of you. It happens. What matters is you don’t give into it.”

Norman gaped at you in awe. Unable to even form words, he chose to show his admiration for you in the form of a kiss. This time the kiss was sweet and full of genuine love. He felt you smile just before he pulled away. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he murmured. 

“Course not. I’m a national treasure.”

Norman laughed. He went to pull away from you but you quickly wrapped your arms around him and snuggled into the crook of his neck. He gently placed a hand on your back before closing his eyes and melting into your embrace. 

“Go home,” you mumbled into his shirt, “Get some good sleep. Okay? Maybe tomorrow night we can do something. Just the two of us.”

Norman smiled as he reached up to pet your hair. 

“I’d like that.”

#norman osborn x reader #i forgot my umbrella #fanfiction #norman osborn #green goblin #sam raimi spider man