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#it's totally possible it's just a bit he has so he can go 'haha am i dating skeppy owo a muffin never yells' bc bbh has been leaning into -
cloudiewrites · 2 months
Note
OMG. Hiiii. I love Tom Riddle and Theodore Nott. So I am totally going to ask you if you are comfortable to write either Professor Tom or a Professor Theo x fem reader fic with smut. Feel free to ignore this but I really struggle to find Professor Tom fics and Idk how to write them 😅
Professor Tom Riddle x f!reader
Warnings: strong language, toxic behaviour, manipulation, SMUT reader is a student in the beginning (still over 18!), reader becomes a little bit unhinged towards the middle (who wouldn't after meeting TR?) 18+MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Author's Note: Wow, this took me ages to post! I was having a break from this blog due to my exams, but I promise I will be more active from now on. Also, this is actually my first smut! (Idk how to write them either, so I do hope you like it.) I tried to build some plot into it, so it is not just filthy p*rn, haha. Thank you so much for your request! <3
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There are moments that change your life. Moments when you realise you will never be the same and your whole existence is divided into two parts - before this, and after this.
For you, this moment was meeting Tom Riddle.
The memories of that rainy day when your gazes crossed for the first time continue to haunt your thoughts almost every second of your existence. And no matter how hard you try to forget, they become more and more vivid. Sometimes you wonder if you are actually reliving it or if it is just a fruit of your imagination.
The rain was so cold that day, that your whole body was shivering under your soaking clothes. You were running across the courtyard, trying to get inside as soon as possible. Both of your hands were clutching your bag on top of your head, trying to prevent the water from getting into your eyes. You were almost at the door when your body collided with someone, and you lost your balance falling into a muddy puddle.
You looked up, ready to give a piece of your mind to whoever made you end up like this, but your words got stuck in your throat the moment your gaze crossed his.
Eyes as dark as the night. Skin as pale as the moonlight. Hair falling in elegant curls on top of the most beautiful face you have ever seen. He silently offered you his hand, before he took off his jacket and wrap it around your trembling figure.
"Are you alright?", he asked. His voice was smooth like honey, yet deep. You couldn't do anything else other than slowly nod before your cheeks turned a light shade of red. He offered you a small smirk, before guiding you inside the castle. No words were exchanged between you after that.
Looking back, you are sure that this was the moment that changed your life.
You didn't know who he was at first. He looked so young, that it was natural to assume he was your age. You have not seen him before, so he must be a transfer student, just like you were a year ago. "He did not wear a robe, so he must not been sorted yet", you said to your friends later that day and they just shook their heads. No one has heard of any transferring students this year, yet here you were claiming you have seen in the flesh the man of your dreams.
And you were almost convinced you were dreaming a few days later when you found yourself sitting in the back of the class, while he was neatly writing his name on the black board.
Professor Riddle.
"As your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, I would like to establish a few ground rules right now", his voice was calm but dominant, "Always come prepared. I do not tolerate lazy students. No talking during class. No questions during lessons. If there is anything you do not understand, you can either conduct your own research in the library or visit one of my additional sessions every third Friday of the month."
Unlike you, the majority of the students have already heard of Tom and some even knew him personally, as he graduated just a few years ago. They carefully listened to all his rules, noting everything they should do to stay on his good side. No matter the house, the respect and fear felt towards Tom was felt by all students. You would lie if you said that this did not include you.
Yet in two weeks time during his first Friday session, you found yourself leaning over your notebook, while Tom was calmly explaining the lesson material to you. You were nodding your head, not paying even a little bit of attention to what he was saying. All you could focus on was the sound of his voice and the tingles that covered your whole body every time he lifted his eyes to your face, checking if were actually following.
"I am curious, miss, for the real purpose of your visit today", he said once you started packing your bag. You immediately froze in place, cold sweat forming on the back of your neck. Your trembling hands closed your bag before you turned to him with a tight-lipped smile.
"I am not sure I understand what you mean, professor."
He offered you a small smile, before grabbing his coat and briefcase and making his way towards you. Stopping just a step away from you, he lifted his hands toward your neck, making you gulp. You stood still, expecting him to wrap his hand around your throat, while his eyes burned into yours. His long fingers inched closer and closer to your skin, before wrapping around your tie and adjusting it so it could be centred.
"I am a patient and understanding man, miss", he said, his hand resting on the piece of cloth for a few more seconds, before moving away, "But I am no fool."
And you knew his words to be true. Because if there was a fool here, that was you. You knew it was wrong to pursue the foolish feelings that started to blossom in your chest. Despite the age difference being only a few years, falling for a professor was never a good idea. But how could you stop yourself when every time his eyes laid upon you there was a feeling of longing behind them? The small touches on your arms, every time he tried to explain to you the parts of the textbook you claimed "not to understand", the way his lips curved in a small smirk every time you volunteered to help during demonstrations in class, the way his gaze darkened that time he saw your friend's arms wrapped around your shoulders during dinner...
He may have thought he was subtle, but you knew there was some part of him that desired you as much as you did.
"What do you think of me, professor?", you asked one day, while sitting on the desk, arranging papers. As you were the only student who showed any interest in DADA sessions outside the scheduled classes, Tom moved the Friday meetings to his private office. They also started to happen every week, rather than once per month. And often, you were helping him with work, rather the other way around. "Why?", his gaze lifted from the papers he was grading, eyebrows furrowing in suspicion. He laid his pen down, crossing his arms in front of his chest and resting his body back on his chair. You sat next to him on a smaller wooden chair, but your hands did not stop arranging the graded exams, and neither did your focus move from them.
"I am...", you took a deep breath, thinking how to phrase your explanation, "Curious, I guess."
Tom watched you with interest, noting the way that your voice trembled in the beginning. Looking up at your face, his eyes trailed every single one of your features, before stopping at your lips.
"You are a good student", he finally said, his tone flat. Your shoulders immediately slumped and you let out a quiet "Oh.", your fingers now pressing the tower of papers on its sides to make sure it is stable. The silence between you grew longer as you tried your best to hide the disappointment you felt from his answer. Tom, on the other hand, was still staring at your face, trying to read your emotions based on your pursed lips and furrowed brows.
"All finished. I think it is better if I go", you finally said, unable to sit in his presence anymore. You stood up, ready to grab your bag from the floor, when cold fingers wrapped themselves around your wrist halting you in place. Tom stood up from his chair, moving behind you. Laying his free hand on the side of your waist, he leaned towards you, nose just a few inches from your hair. He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of your perfume, and let out a low groan.
"What I really think...", he murmured, the fingers on your waist digging into your flesh, "is not something I shall voice out loud. The thoughts that flood my mind every time I see you are too..."
Your breath hitched.
"Too?"
"Sinful", you felt his breath on the back of your ear and your body involuntarily shivered. Before you could think of an answer, his hands left your body and he took a step back. You turned around, eager to close the distance again, but were stopped by him grabbing your shoulder and gently pushing you away.
"Do not", he warned, "do not make this harder for both of us."
"But I-"
"I think it is best if you leave."
You gulped. And the first time your eyes did not cast down in shame - instead you held his gaze, your expression hardening.
"You cannot do this to me", your voice trembled, "Toying with my feelings , then pushing me away."
He raised his brow and his hand fell from your shoulder. You stood in place, not making any attempts to get closer.
"I did not do such thing", his voice sounded low and dark, his eyes suddenly turning colder, "In fact, I am telling you now... Whatever hope you hold in your heart about anything happening between us, you should kill it now."
"But you said-"
"I know what I said", he interrupted you impatiently, "And I mean it. But whatever affection I have towards you does not change the fact you are my student."
Your fingers wrapped around the edge of your skirt and you clenched your jaw, moving your gaze towards the door. The rational part of your brain was telling you to just grab your bag and dash through the door. The other part, the one led by your heart, was screaming at you to stay and confront him. It did not take you long to decide which one to listen to.
"Why does it matter?", you snapped, "I am an adult already. And you are only a few years older. It is not illegal or anything!"
Tom let out an annoyed sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, before running his fingers through his dark curls. He turned around and walked around the desk, before slamming his hands on the hard surface.
"Merlin, you just do not understand!", his voice was full with irritation, "I can not lose my job. I can not lose everything I have worked for!"
"We can hide it", you protested, gluing yourself to his side and gripping his bicep, "Only for a few months! Only till I graduate!"
The man tore your hands away from his arm, cupping them in his palms instead. He tilted his head, searching your eyes, which were now starting to form tears of stress and frustration.
His face suddenly relaxed. The air between you felt lighter and a new spark of hope started to burn inside of you. His finger made its way to your cheek and wiped one of the tears that started to trail down your skin.
"Is it not curious, how weak love makes a man?", his finger trailed down to your jaw, before cupping it, "And no spell in this world is strong enough to save a man that has already fallen."
Your head instinctively leaned towards his hand and you closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of warmth of his skin on yours. If you could only freeze time, you would stay in this moment forever.
"I don't want to be saved", you murmured and despite not being able to see him, you could feel the small smile that grazed his lips once you said it. You freed your hands from his and wrapped them around his torso, burying your head in his chest. It took a few seconds for him to embrace your body, resting his chin on the top of your head.
And if you could only see the satisfied smirk and cold gaze on Tom's face, you would have known how true his words are. There is no spell in this world that could save you not that you have already fallen...
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You can't say exactly when the dream had turned into a nightmare.
Private sessions became everyday afternoon meetings, where you talked about different random topics. Tom never opened up about his past, even his Hogwarts years. On the other hand, he was a good listener and without you realising it, he managed to unravel your whole family history just within a week.
His silent nature did not bother you, however. You finally had someone who listened to you. You slowly started to detach from your friends, excusing your unnatural behaviour on all the extra academic work you were taking. They were worried, but every time they tried to voice their concerns, you rolled your eyes, before running to Tom to tell him about their words. "They are just jealous of you, my dear, " he would always chuckle, gently stroking your cheek, "because you found what they would keep searching for a long, long time."
Soon, he was the only person you really trusted. And he claimed he felt the same.
This is why he couldn't ask anyone else to sneak into the Headmaster's office and get the little leather diary in one of his desk drawers. This is also why you had to find a way to get the books he was interested in from the restricted section without getting caught. This is also why you had to lure the naive fifth-year Hufflepuff into the Chamber of Secrets and leave her there.
There was simply no one else whom he trusted to do these tasks. And you gladly completed each of his requests without question, doing everything in your power to keep him happy.
But soon this was not enough. And once you graduated all the promises he made to you broke into thousand little pieces, which were discarded into thin air.
"I don't need you anymore", his cold voice said, his eyes glued to the papers in front of him, "You can leave. Make sure you close the door."
Without sparing you even a glance, he grabbed the pile of papers and left for class, leaving you to gather your thoughts and pieces of your heart by yourself.
What did you do wrong? Why did he change so suddenly? Was it all a lie?
These questions continued to poison your mind for the next few years, while you tried to rebuild yourself. You did not realise how dependent you were on him, till you were left on your own. The weight of all the unsaid feelings within you was forcing you onto your knees, making you unable to get up and continue with your life.
And this is how two years after your graduation you found your way back to Hogwarts. The place where it all began...
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The wooden clock on the wall was ticking dangerously close to midnight when Tom finally got to his office. The teacher's gathering has been prolonged unnecessarily due to Dumbledore's ramblings and him finding problems where there are none. The amount of control the young professor has exercised to endure this long meeting has left him completely drained of energy, but he knew he still had to do some research about the Founders' Relics. After so many years he was finally getting close to achieving his goal and he was ready to sacrifice as many nights of sleep as necessary.
He knew something was not right the moment he opened the door. The lights were still off and everything seemed to be in the exact place he left it... but there was just the faintest sound of someone breathing which made him immediately reach for his wand.
"Ah, look who finally came", your giggle reached his ears before he saw you turning on his chair, fingers moving towards the small lamp on his desk, "Terribly rude of you to make me wait this long."
Tom's lips pressed into a thin line and his grip around his wand tightened. He traced his eyes over the visible parts of your body, noting the little changes that had occurred since he last saw you.
Your hair, which was usually neatly combed and put in a bun, was now in a messy braid, the front pieces framing your face. Your lips, which usually curved in a shy smile, were now forming an arrogant, almost sinister smirk. Your eyes, which have always looked up to him full of admiration, were now staring down at him with a glint of insanity.
"Get out", he commanded, striding towards you with his wand pointed towards your head.
Your raised your eyebrows and your mouth shaped an "o" in a mock horror, before you reached for your own wand, pointing it back at him.
"Now that is not a way to welcome your ex-lover, is it?", your eyes squint.
Tom scoffed at your words, stopping at the edge of his desk, before his expression hardened.
"You were never my lover", he stated, his head tilting to the side, "And I thought I was extremely clear when I said last time I saw you that you are not welcome here."
You hummed, eyes moving to the ceiling. Still holding your wand towards him, you relaxed further into his chair, lifting your legs onto his desk. With a curious gaze, you followed the stone patterns of the walls around the room, while scrunching your face in disgust.
"3 years, Tom", you finally said, landing your attention back on him, "3 years you have been here and your office is as bland as it was when you first came here. It brings my mood down, you know? It's so grey!"
"You can leave then", Tom hissed through his teeth, making a few more steps till he stayed right in front of you. The tip of his wand rested under your chin and he pulled it upwards, making you look up, "I am giving you exactly a minute to leave, before I take your life."
A loud giggle left your lips and you pressed your neck further into his wand.
"How generous!"
"45 seconds."
You gently put your own wand back into your pocket, not moving your eyes from his. Tilting your head, your mouth formed a wide smile.
"Okay."
His brows shot in confusion, his jaw clenching. You could see his on the wand became tighter, his knuckles almost white.
"Okay?"
"Do it", you shrug your shoulders, "My ghost will be eager to see how are you going to explain why your new assistant went missing after coming to your office to drop a list of all the students that are going to be in your... our class this year."
Before you know it, his free hand flew to your face and gripped your face. His fingers dig into your jaw, lifting it dangerously close to his face.
"My assistant?", he let out a dry chuckle, "Good try, dear. And a terrible way to waste that minute I gave you."
With lips already starting to form the words of the deadliest spell, his fingers dug deeper into your face, before his eyes landed on the sparkling object in your palms. The unforgivable words quickly died in his throat and he withdrew his wand, stumbling back. Eyes full of anger met yours, who in contrast were sparkling with playfulness.
"How did you get that?", he demanded, reaching towards the object, but you pulled it back, before laying it on your head. Putting your elbows on his desk, you fluttered your eyelashes, smiling brightly.
"Do you think it suits me?"
"Stop playing around."
"You are such a bore", you rolled your eyes, "I went on a holiday to Albania. And I found this gorgeous, gorgeous diadem, which turned out to be Rowena Ravenclaw's. What are the chances?"
Tom seemed unamused by your story, instead twitching his jaw. His eyes stayed glued to the diadem on your head, the reflection of the sapphire on it sparkling in his cold eyes.
"How did you know where it was?", his gaze moved towards you, his hand putting his wand back in his coat. His tall form moved towards you again, this time taking a seat on the empty surface of the desk in front of you. With a smile, you took the diadem out of your head, twirling it between your fingers.
"You don't think you were the only one who managed to charm the famous Helena Ravenclaw, do you?", you raised your eyebrow, moving your tongue across your top lip, "You underestimate the power of women's empathy and love for gossip, Tom."
He let out an airy laugh, running a hand through his thick curls. After two years, he hasn't changed anything about his appearance. His face, his haircut, and even the suits he wore were the exact same ones he already wore when you were a student. You would lie if you said you didn't enjoy it - that meant that the Tom you loved was still somewhere inside of him. Your Tom.
"I'm impressed", he finally said, moving his hands towards his knee and locking his fingers around it. His face dropped into a serious expression once again, "Give it to me."
You tilted your head, pursing your lips. Your eyes moved to the diadem, before landing back on him.
"Oh, I can't do that, Tom", you rested your palm on your chest, looking up at him with doe eyes, "He would be very disappointed if I don't bring it back to him."
Tom took a deep breath, his upper lip twitching.
"He?", he pressed his tongue to the side of his cheek, "Who is "he"?"
You twirled in his chair, pressing the diadem closer to your chest.
"My Lord, of course", you let out a giggle, resting your cheek on your shoulder and closing your eyes. You still managed to see the way Tom's body tensed, however.
"He sent his regards to you", you smiled, standing up, "If you hadn't left me that day, he wouldn't have met me and subsequently learned all about making horcruxes."
The man's eyes immediately darkened and his hand flew towards your wrist, stilling you in place.
"Name."
"Huh?"
"Tell me his name", Tom hissed, his nostrils flaring. You stepped closer to him, noses almost brushing.
"And why would I do that?", you raised your brows, your voice turning into a mocking laugh, "Do you think I would betray him... for you?"
The sudden feeling of his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you forward made you almost lose your balance and you grabbed his shoulder in reflex to keep you from falling on top of him. Nesting his head in the curve between your neck and shoulder, Tom pressed his lips next to your ear before muttering:
"You, my dear, are a liar", his teeth grazed the end of your earlobe, "And a very bad one."
Your whole body froze and you tried to push yourself away from him, but his arms were holding you firmly in place. Suddenly all the confidence you have displayed in his presence so far melted under the warmth of his touch, and you were left only with the hope you could still lie your way out of this situation.
"I am not lying", you protested with a quickening breath.
Tom lifted his head from your shoulder and rested his forehead on yours instead. His eyes stared deep into your own and his warm breath on your face made your whole body involuntarily tremble.
"I have already told you I am not a fool", one of his hands slid from your waist towards your arm and then hand, where you were still clutching the diadem. His fingers wrapped around it and pulled it out of your grasp with ease. Without looking at it, he placed it on the desk behind his back, before his hand found its way to the top of your head.
"I know you better than you know yourself, my dear", he muttered, his hand gently stroking your hair, "And I know there is no room in your heart for anyone but me. You would not be here otherwise."
He pulled back enough to be able to take a better look at your face. His gaze fell from your half-lidded eyes to your parted lips.
"You are mine. Always were, always will be."
A loud whine escaped your throat before it was swallowed by Tom's mouth on yours. His plump lips were chapped, a result of hours of his teeth sinking into them, trying to hold back all the snarky remarks he had for his fellow colleagues. The rough feeling made your knees buckle and you closed your eyes, relaxing fully in his arms.
Without breaking the kiss, he turned you around and with a swift move of his hand, pushed the diadem and a few books out of the way, before laying you on the cold surface. Your hands found their way into his hair, tugging the soft curls.
A low growl left his lips and he lifted his lips from yours, a trail of saliva connecting them, before it was broken by his fingers cupping your chin.
"This is what you wanted, is it not?", his voice was suddenly deeper and darker, "For me to take you on the same desk I once you graded you."
His words made a loud moan to escape you and your back arched up, seeking nothing more than to be close to him. With a low chuckle, he pressed his palm between your breasts, pushing you flat on the furniture beneath you. You opened your mouth to complain but were quickly silenced once he pushed his index and middle fingers in your mouth, almost making you choke. Fixating your gaze on his, you closed your lips around them and started to suck, making sure to flatten your tongue in the process.
The image before your eyes was something you had dreamt of countless times before - Tom, with his messy curls and parted lips, panting while the fingers of his free hand were skilfully unbuttoning his vest. You did not waste any time in helping him, focusing on shakingly unbuttoning his belt.
"So impatient", he clicked his tongue, withdrawing his fingers from your mouth, so could remove his shirt. Once his torso was in full view, you did not hesitate even a second before you lifted yourself in a sitting position and attached your lips to his neck. Nibbling and sucking the smooth skin, you started to nibble and suck your way down to his chest. His head fell back and he closed his eyes, his muscles relaxing under you.
Tom Riddle may not be a man who was capable of love, but he was a man after all. And it would be a lie to say he has never thought of you in a more... erotic way. You have always been so obedient and good, doing everything for him without any hesitation. He has always found that incredibly attractive, but not enough for him to act on his desires.
Now, however, the sight of you has ignited some primal urges within him that he never felt before. Maybe it was the few drinks he had consumed prior at the gathering or maybe it was the idea of the the crazy lengths you were willing to go in order to get back to him...
Tom Riddle would probably never know the reason for him giving up control for the first time in his life. To you, nonetheless.
His mind came back to reality when he felt you pushing him on his chair and nestling yourself between his legs. Looking up at him, you tugged his pants and boxers down, letting his erection free. You let your index finger gently caress the length of it, making it twitch. A small giggle left your lips before you repeated the gesture.
"Stop teasing me", the man groaned, and his palm rested behind your head in order to push you towards his member, but you swiftly moved to the side dodging it. You squinted your eyes, moving your hands to his thighs and digging your nails into them.
"You", the word was hissed through your teeth, "are in no position to order me around."
Tom scoffed and was about to argue when your mouth unexpectedly wrapped around the head of his penis, twirling your tongue around it. He let out a choked gasp and he tried to put his hand on your head again before you smacked it away. Swallowing his pride, he rested both of his arms on the side of his chair, bucking his hip forward.
Carefully watching his reaction you wrapped your hand around him, slowly moving it down and back up again, following the movement of your mouth. The feeling of him filling your mouth was causing some saliva to start dripping your chin, but rather than pulling away, you pushed him further into your mouth till your nose was buried in his dark pubic hair. The feeling of his swollen head hitting the back of your throat made you gag, causing Tom to groan in pleasure.
"Fuck this", he muttered, before grabbing you by your hair and pulling your head up, before pressing it down again. His hips buckled in harmony with your head, making sure you were taking all of him. His dick was now coated in your saliva, making it glisten in the dim light. You closed your eyes, the lack of oxygen making them sting. The rapid pace with which he was moving was making it hard for you to breathe through your nose and you tried giving him a warning slap on his leg, which he purposefully ignored. Instead, he moved his other hand towards your chin and held your head still, while he continued to thrust his hips up and down. Sloppy wet noises filled his office, being interrupted only by his heavy breathing.
Your thighs clenched together in a weak attempt to relieve the burning ache between your legs. The way he was using your mouth to satisfy himself was making your underwear damp, yet you knew better than to touch yourself yet. After so many sleepless nights during which you tried to relieve yourself, imagining how would it feel to taste him, you wanted to focus all your attention only on him.
Feeling he was close, Tom finally pulled your head back and examined your face. Both saliva and tears were smeared all over your chin and your cheeks were flushed in rosy colour.
"What a pretty sight you are, my dear", he smiles, wiping some of it with his thumb. You licked your lips, getting up on your feet.
"And you are such a smooth talker", your face leaner just inches from his, "I wonder if you are as good with the action as you are with words."
Taking this as a challenge, he stood up and pushed you back onto the desk, before lifting your skirt. His fingers hooked under the elastic bands of your panties and with one tug they snapped, leaving you completely exposed in front of him.
Tom gulped, burning the image of your waiting arousal into his mind. His fingers made their way towards your slit, gathering the wetness before easily sliding his middle finger in. You moaned at the contact, fluttering your eyes closed. He pumped his fingers a few times, his eyes carefully observing your facial expression before he slid it out. You whined at the loss of contact, opening your eyelids only to find him smirking down at you.
"Do you really think you deserve me wasting time on your pleasure?"
"Fuck you!", you snapped, resulting in him grabbing your neck and squeezing so hard, an airy cough left your lips.
"Such a dirty mouth", he lifted your face up, his jaw clenching, "but such a weak mind. Look at the pathetic mess you are..."
Your lips parted to offer a snarky response, but your mind quickly went blank the moment he slid fully into you. Arching your back, your hands found their way around his shoulders, while his rested on both sides of your head.
Tom did not waste any time in developing a quick pace, which made you roll your eyes back. With each thrust the head of his cock was brushing against your cervix, making your whole vision white. His left hand moved towards one of your breasts, pinching and twisting the oversensitive nipple between his fingers. His other hand made his way to your pussy, where his thumb started to draw sloppy circles over your clit.
Never in your life have you felt such pleasure in your life. Of course, you had previous lovers during the past two years while trying to get Tom out of your mind, but nothing compared to this. Curling your toes, you lifted both of your legs and rested them on his shoulder.
Both of you groaned in unison when you felt him going even deeper than before. His upper body collapsed on top of yours, his lips immediately latching onto your other nipple. Still gripping his shoulders, you dragged your nails down his back, leaving angry red marks behind.
The knot in your stomach started to tighten and your moans became louder and louder. Moving your hips so you can meet Tom's thrusts, you looked at his face, only to find him staring back with eyes clouded with desire. His fingers were now working faster on your sensitive bud and you let out a shaky breath: "Tom, I...", you could not finish your sentence, your vocabulary suddenly consisting only of his name.
"Shhh", he whispered, his hand moving from your breast to your cheek. He gently stroked it with his thumb and suddenly you saw in front of you the same Tom that charmed you years ago, "I've got you."
His words were enough to cause the knot to snap and your whole body went rigid, squeezing and pulsating around him. A few harsh trusts and Tom suddenly tensed on top of you, as he painted your insides white. You both held onto each other, fingers digging into soft flesh, as you melted into your shared euphoria.
It was not romantic.
It was primal. Rough. Dirty.
It was everything you have imagined.
Finally relaxing on top of you, Tom buried his head in your shoulder, trying his best to calm his breathing down. You laid under him, crushed under his weight, yet enjoying every second of the contact he allowed you to have.
Against your better judgment, you lifted your hand and started to gently stroke his hair. Against his better judgment, he allowed you to and closed his eyes in the process.
Tired from the long day and your office activity, Tom lifted you in his arms, his now soft member slipping out of you and he sat back on his chair, adjusting the backrest so you can both take a more comfortable position.
You lifted yourself from his chest and raised your eyebrow, but bit back your tongue the moment your gaze crossed his stern one, warning you not to voice whatever you had in your mind. Letting out a small chuckle, you shook your head and laid it back down on his skin.
There was an urge burning inside of you to mock him about showing gentleness, but deep down you knew this was your only chance to enjoy it. So you closed your eyes and relaxed, finally being able to fall asleep without the haunting dreams of what could've been.
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The sunlight was painting the whole room in a beautiful gold colour and Tom let out a low groan when he felt it hitting his face. His hand made its way over his eyes, shielding them from the light, while his mind slowly started to become aware of his surroundings. The uncomfortable chair was making all of his muscles ache and he immediately regretted not gathering the energy last night to make his way back to his room. The chill air coming from the window has not helped too, especially when we was only partly covered and-
Tom's eyes shot open looking down at his body and finding his suit jacket thrown over his waist and private parts. You, however, were not to be found. Not on top of him, not on the desk, nowhere in the room.
He immediately stood up, grabbing his pants from the floor and furiously putting them on, while breathing heavily. His gaze fell on the stack of books he pushed from his desk last night and he immediately fell on his knees, scanning the floor around him.
"No, no, no", he hissed under his breath, pushing his hair out of his eyes, "That little serpent!"
Not only you have left, but you also have taken the diadem with you. No matter how much he searched for it, it was definitely not here.
You tricked him.
Getting up back to his feet, Tom kicked one of the books on the floor, before slamming his hands on his desk. His breathing was hard and he could feel his blood boiling in his veins. Suddenly, his attention was caught by a small parchment of paper placed next to his quill. Unfolding it, he could have sworn his heart stopped for a second.
"My dear Tom,
Thank you for our wonderful night together. I did not want to leave you so early, but I had to be out of the castle before everyone else woke up. To be truthful with you, I am not going to be your new assistant. But your already knew that, so I guess it is not shocking news. I sneaked it yesterday when all of the teachers were having a party (or what you call a gathering, ha!). Neither do I have a new lord. You already knew that as well.
Do not stress about the diadem, as it is safe with me - if there is one thing I learned from you is that I need to take good care of horcruxes once they are made. I know it was probably foolish of me to bring it to you last night, as it does hold a part of my soul, but I promise that from now on I will take better care of it.
Without doubt your paths shall cross again. Remember Tom: You are mine. Always were, always will be.
Love, y/n
P.S. - I hope you do not mind that I helped myself by getting your keys from your jacket and getting a shower in your room. Also, I think you need to follow your own advice and start putting your objects away. I found your diary resting on your bedside table, so I had to take it with me. Do not worry - I promise I will keep it safe...
for now."
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CC artwork: Nasan Hardcastle
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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months
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Is it possible to do head cannons for digital circus characters with a reader who's too nice for their own good
Like they get in danger when trying to talk to the bad guy npc thinking that they could persuade them to the good side
TADC cast x reader whos too nice!
Anon I'm so so sorry that it took me so long to get to this <\3! I gotta admit I've been in like, a bit of a burn out recently and I'm still recovering from my baking spree last week so I'm WOOOooOoooooO
That said I hope you enjoy!
Written ambiguously, if you want to see this as romantic or platonic, is totally up to you!
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CAINE:
Literally puts a pause on the IHA when he sees you being dragged away by the big bad guy, all while still trying to insist that the NPC with no chance to gain sentience can be good.. caine finds it endearing in it's own way, its sweet, you see the best in people... and non-people... but reader, this is exactly how you get hurt..! Keeps a close eye on you during IHA
POMNI:
While I dont think pomni fits the "too nice for her own good" vibe, I feel that shes... what word am i looking for? Submissive? She kind of just goes with what others are doing; asides from her initial freak out we dont see much pushback from her in the pilot, though that could be thanks to shock... perhaps shes still feeling it during IHAs given how random and intense they can be..? Point is I think pomni would give a meek resistance before scurrying off after you, trying to save you from the clutches of the baddie
RAGATHA:
Shes loves you so much, dont get her wrong. She loves that you're so sweet to everyone, even to those who dont deserve it. Actually if anything, Ragatha is also a little too sweet for her own good.. but shes not as trusting and naive as you are. Frantically pulls you away to the side when you try to make your way to the days villain, gently scolding you and asking what you were thinking. She doesnt mean to make you feel bad, but she doesn't want to see you hurt!
JAX:
One of the only two characters that might get a little mean with you. Not like "mean as in berating you for being so naive" more so "I'm upset that you seemingly have no regard for your safety, I care about you and I cant see you continue to throw yourself into danger" way that can come off as mean, since jax isnt really.. the best as saying this softly.. immediately cuts through any "what ifs" you might bring up to him, you're the only person in this circus that he actually enjoys and hes not going to let you get flung around.. can his tone be softer? Sure, but can you blame him if this is a regular occurrence?
KINGER:
This poor man nearly has a heart attack when he sees you about to be absolutely demolished (but not really thanks to the digital world), probably ends in him getting hurt too.. but that would be mean.. but also can you imagine the angst? The guilt? He probably pushes through the pain to get to you and hes just. Feverishly pulling you to him and patting you down to make sure you're okay... he won't tell you to stop being so nice; in fact I dont think the thought crosses his mind ever.. but he does ask to never do that again, the getting into danger thing
ZOOBLE:
The other character that might get a little mean when confronting you about it, but given zoobles general attitude as well as their tone of voice, it seems like they're more angry with you than they actually are. They think you're too nice for your own good, truly. While the others may find it sweet and endearing, they're constantly thinking about how one day you'll be in over your head and wont have a way out. This might actually result in an argument, thanks to zoobles tone and way of going about things.. but you guys eventually communicate and make up, at least I would like to think so
GANGLE:
Very similar to pomni in the regard that she doesnt have the spine (haha) to tell you not to do whatever you're planning on doing. "I don't think... oh.. oh wait, reader-" as she scurries after you so you dont get lost. Gets legitimately sad and beats herself up if you get hurt. Similar to zoobles, you guys are going to need to communicate and work together on this because gangle cannot handle the fact that you're constantly getting hurt thanks to your kindness grating on her mind all day every day
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suzukiblu · 7 months
Text
An excerpt of morally-ambiguous-dad!Lex for @robotogato to hopefully enjoy, haha.
"Clones really don't get soulmarks, though," Kon says in frustration. "It doesn't even make sense that I'd have one."
"Well, I suppose there's the possibility that I just want you so badly that it happened anyway," Lex Luthor muses idly. "A Luthor doesn't generally accept being denied what they want."
"Very fucking funny," Kon mutters, shooting him a glower. "I'm being serious here, asshole."
"Hm," Lex Luthor observes, inspecting him neutrally. "Not even a moment where you let yourself want to believe that, was there."
"Why would I wanna believe that a bastard like you wanted me?" Kon sneers at him.
"Because I am the only person in the multiverse who would burn down reality for you without hesitation," Lex Luthor says like he's talking about the weather or something. Like he's just stating a totally inconsequential fact or reiterating something as obvious as the sky being blue.
Like there's no question there at all.
"I hope you fucking die and I hope it fucking hurts," Kon hisses as the whole world seems to bleed red, just about choking on his fury.
"Well, it will if you don't close your eyes," Lex Luthor says, raising an eyebrow at him. "Quickly, ideally."
"Wh–" Kon is almost stupid enough to ask, and then he realizes and immediately screws his eyes shut, snapping his hands up over his face just in case.
His eye sockets feel like they're on fire.
"Ah, I suppose I live another day," Lex Luthor says. "Rage and anger are notable triggers for the heat vision, if you're still unfamiliar. And apparently arousal as well, although I have very definitely never encountered that version so I can't say if it's more or less potent than rage."
"How do you even know about it, then?" Kon asks, hating that he can't trust himself to look at the bastard without killing him. Lex Luthor could be doing any stupid fucked-up thing right now and he'd have no fucking clue.
"I am a very intelligent person who can afford very good information," Lex Luthor says. "And I am also more intimately familiar with Kryptonian DNA than quite possibly anyone else on this planet, Superman included."
"Superman has Kryptonian DNA," Kon retorts dubiously.
"He does," Lex Luthor agrees. "His special little gift from dumb luck and blind chance. Some of us actually had to put in a bit of effort to get that kind of power, though."
"You don't have that kind of power," Kon says. "You have money and the fucking bullshit fear that you put into people."
"Ah, but I have you now," Lex Luthor counters mildly. "Now don't I."
"You don't," Kon snaps.
"Oh, give it sixteen years or so," Lex Luthor says, making a dismissive gesture as Kon's eyes finally stop burning long enough for him to risk a glare at him. "Your full powerset should be in by then, and I imagine I'll have had a bit of time to change your mind somewhere in there."
"I don't care what whatever custody law bullshit says about it, I'm not gonna stay with you," Kon says tightly. "Sure as shit not for the next sixteen years!"
"Oh?" Lex Luthor asks, raising an eyebrow at him. "Then where exactly are you intending to go long-term? Just planning to stay in a lab for the rest of your life?"
"Why the fuck not?" Kon says in exasperation.
Lex Luthor's eyes narrow.
"Oh," he says like a realization. "Someone's actually made you assume that you belong in a lab, haven't they."
"Yeah, I can't think of a single unrepentant bastard who might've had a hand in me belonging in one of those," Kon bites off darkly. "Real fucking mystery there, huh."
"Hm," Lex Luthor says.
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magnetothemagnificent · 9 months
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Apologies if this questions sounds stupid or ignorant, but I'm genuinely trying to educate myself. Can Jews be Jewish *and* a different race, so does a Jewish identity supersede another racial identity? Just wondering because a lot of Ashkenazi Jews I know (in real life or online) push back against the idea that they are white. I've heard European Jews say that they are not considered white, do not have white privilege, etc. so they are not white. But I've also seen a lot of Jews of color identify with both their Jewish identity and their "racial" identity (ravenreveals on Instagram explains how she identifies as Black *and* Jewish, and one of my friends identifies as an Asian Jew). So is there a reason many European (Ashkenazi?) Jews don't identify as white/identify as only Jewish? I'm sorry if this is offensive in any way, this isn't my intent :)
Sorry it took me so long to answer, I am swamped with asks haha
Yes, it's possible to be Jewish and a different race, as Judaism isn't a race, but an ethnoreligion, or even better described as a tribal nation.
Now, first I'm going to push back on you equating European with Ashkenazi. Ashkenazi is a specific term referring to Jews whose ancestors settled in the Rhine valley after the Roman expulsion from Judea. Many of these Jews eventually migrated eastward to Eastern Europe and Westward to British Isles, while others stayed in the Rhine valley region. But not all Jews whose ancestors settled in Europe are Ashkenazi.
There are Sephardi Jews, obviously, whose ancestors settled in the Iberian peninsula following the Roman expulsion, and then later migrated to North Africa, Northwestern Europe, Eastern Europe, and West Asia following the Spanish and Portugese inquistions.
There are also Italki Jews in Italy and Romaniote Jews in Greece, all of which are unique communities of Jews whose ancestors settled in Europe and who are not Ashkenazi.
Additionally, not all Ashkenazi Jews are racialized as white. Ashkenazi does not refer to your race, but rather who your ancestors are and/or what community traditions you follow. There are Ashkenazi Jews of every race.
The reason why lots of what-you-perceive-as-white Jews don't identify as white is because Judaism precedes the modern constructs of race (yes, race is a construct, not an immutable science) and because whiteness is highly subjective and fluid, just as non-whiteness is. Because race is a construct, which race a person is perceived as varies by where they are and by which people they are around.
Jewish "whiteness" is also conditional- and as Jews we don't like to leave ourselves vulnerable to shifting statuses. Jewish "white-passing-ness" can also be a tool of violence, either by denying the racial reality of antisemitism, or by being 'proof' that Jews are shape-shifting inflitrators of the white race. Hitler's Final Solution was total extermination precisely because he feared many Jews would pass as white and spread their Jewish blood among the Aryans, and so the total extermination of Jews was deemed as necessary, like one would exterminate a parasite.
This of course doesn't mean that no Jew has ever had access to the privilege afforded to whiteness. In the post-Holocaust era, many Jews have tried to successfully assimilate into whiteness to access even a little bit of privilege in order to protect themselves. I'm not going to lie and say that if I was pulled over at a traffic stop, my lighter complexion wouldn't give me more grace at the hands of the police officers than someone with darker skin would. Because yes, sometimes I am racialized as white and therefore access the privilege of whiteness.
But that doesn't mean I don't feel deeply uncomfortable when I'm filling out a form and the only options for race and even ethnicity are "white", "black", "hispanic", and "asian". Because while at the end of the day I'll check "white", it's only because I don't want to be accused of fraud (even though Middle Eastern or just Jewish would fit me better, but that's not an option). But that's just me. Some Jews are fine calling themselves "white Jews". Two Jews three opinions and all.
Someone introduced me to the phrase "racialized white/black/etc" a few years ago, and I think it makes much more sense. Because race is entirely dependent on perception and how others racialize you. I am not White, but sometimes I am racialized as white. Other times, I am racialized as "not-quite-white-but-we-don't-know-how-to-categorize-you-so-we're-just-going-to-try-and-guess-and-ask-wildly-invasive-questions".
At the end of the day, call Jews what they want to be called, and don't try and push labels on us. If a Jew doesn't want to be called white, don't call them white. Because race, ethnicity, religion, and all that is complicated, and Judaism predates all of that, so naturally Jews are going to have mixed feelings about it all.
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prince-liest · 1 month
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You’ve probably answered this before so I’m sorry in advance if that’s the case, but I think you mentioned a couple of times you can see Alastor only ever going all the way with Vox as an exception and no one else. What makes Vox different to Alastor? (Except their implied past closeness with that one picture in the Finale)
No worries at all, I don't think anybody's asked this directly before!
I feel like I should clarify a little bit about what I meant in my tag comments, haha, because it totally has nothing to do with their implied history!
The way that I personally write Alastor is a particular flavor of aroace that is mostly leaning in the "not interested in sex or relationships" direction, but I also think he's a really funny and weird guy who is also, like, kind of obviously a raging sadist. The way that I write radiostatic in the 666 series is specifically based off of the launching point of the relationship being that Vox is so hilariously cringefail levels of obsessed with Alastor that it meshes perfectly with Alastor's self-absorbed sadistic ego and Alastor literally just goes, "This seems like it would be fucked up in a really funny way that will also function as a powerplay. I'll try it."
And it progresses from there! But the place it progresses to isn't actually "Alastor is now into sex with Vox," it's "Alastor is into this weird, messed up mindfuck powerplay situation that they have going on while sometimes being okay with sex being part of that and sometimes still just actually not even remotely wanting to fuck." If you count their sexual encounters in order, it's hardly a list of traditional examples of "going all the way," even if you remove the supernatural aspects. If you have people that like D/s play as an aspect of sex, then you also have Alastor, who is sometimes okay with sex as an aspect of D/s play.
They're both super deranged about one another in ways that I don't think are really possible to accomplish with other characters, at least in my interpretations of them. I'm not saying everyone else I could ship him with is normal, but I am saying that everyone else I could ship him with is more normal about it than Vox, and his extremely specific obsessive cringefail flavor of not normal is what allows radiostatic to happen the way that it does in 666.
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kwillow · 1 year
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Ambroys basking in his cache of gifts and sweet words from secret admirers. Gotta be careful, though. If his ego is inflated any more, he'll pop.
(I wanted to doodle something to accompany a post answering some messages regarding this candy-colored cad but got a bit carried away. :P Well regardless, asks under the cut!)
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Why thank you! He would drunkenly insult people, though he tends to be more passive-aggressive and backhanded rather than outright insulting - well, most of the time, anyway. He thinks he's a lot more subtle in his derogatory comments than he actually is.
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Aaaw, this is too sweet!
Older Ambroys is much more reserved about seeking and accepting physical affection than his younger self, for myriad reasons (that one day I will expound upon in more detail, fate willing). He still enjoys it, though.
He's still proud of the stars on his cheeks and the gold in his hair and all that, but the signs of age are something he is not at peace with. For some, like the wrinkles, they're a sign that his time on this earth is finite - and death terrifies him. For others, like his paunch, it's more just embarrassing to him in a more mundane and vain "I was voted Prom King in high school and I was on the Varsity track team now look at me I'm an old man boo hoo hoo" type of way (though he's actually more physically adept in his older age than he was when he was younger for Magical Heritage Bullshit reasons, the sentiment remains).
As for your question, it's totally fine with me for Ambroys to be portrayed as non-heterosexual in fanfic or fanart or one's secret imaginings. Even though all of his "canon" love interests are women, I wouldn't rule out of the possibility of him developing affections for someone who isn't a woman. Chase your bliss!
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Haha well both furry and aasimar Ambroys would bask in the attention, though poor aasimar Ambroys' jealousy is not going to be helped!
No shame on being a furry though. I didn't consider myself one either but I feel like it's harder to make the argument that I'm not given the sheer number of ponies I've drawn by now...
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He would accept this, so long as you don't mess up his hair.
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He would say: "good!" I would say "don't waste your life on him!"
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Oh he would be pleased to be so distracting, I'm sure.
And sometimes we can't help but to have a type... I know I seem to have a thing for rich effete douchebags with buck teeth and big pointy noses... not quite sure what's up with that.
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Yessss... yesssssssss... or perhaps I should say "I'm sorry."
I didn't mean to make him this way... I guess I underestimated the power of a brushable mane.
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Ambroys DOES like being worshipped (way too much and way too literally, as you might be able to tell) but he wants to have his imperfections hidden if he can!
He's just horribly, horribly vain and unwilling to let go of his youth... even though he got to enjoy being youthful for three times as long as a mortal would.
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YES that song is on his playlist (which I have for all my main characters because I'm a dork). It's just too perfect. One of the many ideas on my miles-long to do list has to do with depicting a scene from that song. The trouble is that it has to do with dancing, and boy am I not very good at drawing dancing poses. xD Oh well, gotta try for the boy!
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Heh well I think we could agree that a normal horse probably couldn't pull off the breeches he wears quite so well... I'm flattered that you think of him when you see horsies in the flesh! Huzzah, I've ruined one of the Earth's beautiful creatures for you! >:)
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Oh wow, my guy is stepping out of my brain and into other people's subconsciouses... I need to put a leash on him. :P But this was a fun read!
It's very in character Ambroys to try to undercut a rival's self-esteem by framing it as something OTHER people say, but oh no, he'd NEVER say something like that, of course. Mean girl behavior. He does have friends that don't actually like him - and he doesn't like them either. But one needs to have friends for appearance's sake - just one more accessory, really!
OKAY, I think that's everything! Or at least enough for this post, ahah.
Thanks to everyone for your kind words on my not-so-kind character.
Unlike him, I'm really humbled and grateful by the positive reception he's received. I deeply appreciate your kind messages... even when it takes me eons to reply to them, gah.
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literaticat · 2 months
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As an agent, how do you recommend authors handle review spaces? Most writers are also readers, but I understand it's probably looked down upon to go around giving 2-3 star reviews to who are essentially your colleagues. I enjoy having the data to look back on of my reads, but as I plan to be published in the future, I'm wondering if I need to make this private and find a private system.
A bit more broadly than your ask: In my personal opinion, writers may be readers, but reviewing spaces such as GoodReads, etc, are not for them. I would strongly suggest that for mental health purposes, authors not only NOT EVER go on GoodReads, but also block it from their computer like it is a naughty website. NSFW BABE. Don't look up your own reviews, don't look up your friend's reviews, for the LOVE OF GOD don't RESPOND to any reviews of your books or your friend's books you happen to see, and unless you have something glowing to say about a book that will uplift the author, for Pete's sake keep it to yourself. If you have potentially snarky things to say about a book or author, journal about it. Text it to the group chat. But don't post it.
As for your more specific ask: I totally understand wanting to keep book-reading data -- I do! I use the Reading List app, which is private. StoryGraph I just got but it feels like a nice interface, I'll be playing around with it, and I'd happily add books I'm reading, my TBR, etc -- but I would either keep my account private to whatever extent is possible, or I just wouldn't rate the books on that. Other people use cool personal spreadsheets, or cool notebooks. This is MY data -- I'm not keeping it to impress or inform anyone else, so why would it need to be public?
When I find books that I particularly adore, I'm delighted to post about them on socials, but I don't need or want to talk smack about books publicly, that would be totally inappropriate coming from me, and since I know and work with SO MANY editors, other agents, authors, etc -- There's pretty much NO WAY I could get away with that without inadvertently insulting somebody. And while you may be "aspiring" now -- the longer you stay in publishing spaces, the more people YOU will know and meet, too.
TRUE STORY from just this week: I was at a Little Free Library and found an old Sweet Valley High book - BEWARE THE WOLFMAN, #106. It has a hilarious jacket and cover copy, I had no idea that the Wakefield twins went through a paranormal "American Werewolf In London" era, I was obviously obsessed and posted about it on Facebook, with a pic of the front and back of the jacket. Now, this is a book that is WELL out of print, it was published when I was in high school thirty years ago, it was a friends only post and I'm not friends with the author, like, literally who would I be insulting if I made fun of this book? Oh -- well potentially my friend Dan, who chimed in immediately to say that he in fact wrote the funny jacket copy. My friend Elise, who is an agent now, but was Dan's boss in 1994 and in charge of these books. OH ALSO, I am friends with the publisher. Ahahahah OK! Yay! Luckily it truly is a bonkers book and they know that so it was all in good fun and haha teehee, but like -- it could have been WAY worse!
ANYwhoo, you asked what I think, that's what I think. This is just how I approach it. "As an agent" I would never tell my authors what they can or can't do with their lives - but this is MY philosophy: we're all here to SELL books, not bash them, so if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself, because believe me when I say, it's extremely upsetting for all parties when you give a book a shitty review and then are seated next to the author at a publisher dinner later. TRUST ME, I KNOW.
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ebonysplendor · 2 months
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I'm a Copycat Review 👯‍♀️
TL;DR: Declan is fucking nuts, and if you thinks that's fucking nuts, wait until you figure out the MC's back story because it's also, you guessed it, fucking nuts ... fuck.
Game Link: https://drcllemlon.itch.io/im-a-copycat
Notable Features: Side-image sprites, named MC, she/her MC, Yandere LI Spiciness: 1/5 -- Pretty wholesome, for the most part. A sex scene was implied and there's a suggestive-ish cg, but...meh, super tame LI Red Flags: 3.5/5 -- Gaslighter, animal abuse, stuck in the past, physically abusive
Want to know more? Well, let's get into it!
Yeah, I don't know why I dropped the "f" bomb so many times...? Well, anyways...
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Okay, so, excitingly enough, this was actually a requested game! Not only was it requested, but it was requested by the dev themselves. Allow me to flex for a singular second or two.
No, like, deadass, can everyone just forget about the game for two seconds and focus on me? Like, I'm actually hype about this! I didn't have to go game hunting! The game hunted for me. THE DEV hunted for ME. I'm just mad excited about that. That being said, if you didn't know you could send me requests, now you know lol.
Anywho, so, the game!
Admittedly, this game was a lot better than initially expected? If you've read my reviews before, you know I'm conceited and want to be absolutely immersed and live out my sick, twisted fantasy by self-inserting. Unfortunately, this game isn't a self-insert, and the start was a lil' slow, not gonna lie, but like once shit started rolling? I no longer cared about the lack of self-insert because lmaooooo it got kinda wild.
There really is something so lit about a game that you're like "...Yeah, I don't think I'm feeling this" or "I don't think I'm going to vibe with this" but then you're suddenly super invested, and you're just sitting there like "What the hell is going on?!". I can honestly say that that was exactly what happened, and gods damn it, am I glad that I stuck around for the madness.
That all being said, I think the intro is long enough. Let's get into the game, because lowkey excited to tell you guys about it. As always, I will give you as much information as possible without actually spoiling it because you just may have to gotta, really, totally play this for yourself
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So, boom.
We do the generic wake up in the morning feelin' like PDiddy thing and welcome the day with positivity. After admiring the sky for a little, we notice that there is that good breakfast smell in the air and rush into the kitchen, but not before putting on the glasses that our loving boyfriend always reminds us to wear -- don't wanna trip over any steps or anything like that haha ha... ANYWAYS!
Before we see the breakfast, though, we see the absolute snack that's in front of us. The snack is bae, and the bae's name is Declan. Look at this little cinnamon roll.
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To go off topic for a bit, I've seen cuter/more hot LI's but this one got the "adorkably cute" aesthetic pretty good, because he is lol. He's a dorky cute, and frankly, it's fitting.
Anywho, so we exchange our good mornings, eat our breakfast, and help Declan clean, even though he's adamant that we don't have to. I mean, sure, we could've not helped, but what kind of partner doesn't help with household chores?! Nah, we're gonna help the bae! So, we do, and...we get hurt in the process. It hurts, and Declan's freaking out a bit, but we get patched up -- even though we're not bleeding or anything -- and life is all good again.
We get dressed, making sure to wear our super cozy jacket to make sure we don't get cold -- even though, we're never cold but Declan always insists that we are -- and get our day with Declan officially started, but not before this weird little quip happens.
See, Declan gets a call from work, right, and he's trying to explain to them that we still aren't well after our car accident. Apparently, it was pretty bad, and we got some kind of amnesia from it, so Declan took some time off work to get us reacclimated to...well, life, but corporate ain't trying to hear that and told him to bring his ass back into work, like, yesterday. So, Declan somewhat finesses it and is able to get an extra day, but he's super sad that he has to leave us, and the feeling is definitely mutual. No worries though! Why? Because we've still got two days, so why not just make the most of it while he's here with us! Until...he falls ill, that is.
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So, us being the amazing girlfriend that we is, we take care of Declan like he's been taking care of us. After a little while, Declan just opts for sleep, and we let him do so. Sleep does help a lot when you're sick, after all!
Tending to ourselves, we try to make ourselves a fat bowl of totally not Lucky Charms, but Luck Jewels -- totally different, and not at all the same, so don't argue with or "@" me. Whether we're eating knock off Lucky Charms or a totally different cereal doesn't matter though because there's not really any of it left except the dust, not to mention we totally wrecked the shelf while trying to find something else to eat.
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This is a bit of a problem because we don't have a screwdriver to fix the shelf, and we're still damned hungry! We don't really have any choice but to go to the store, but for some reason, Declan's really weird about us leaving the house since we're still struggling with amnesia and remembering how certain things work, let alone how to actually do it properly or so he tells us. So, we put on a brave face, get dressed, take some money from his wallet, and head on out!
While scoping out the supermarket, we make note of these really bomb cupcakes in the window of a bakery and make a note to visit another day, but right now, we're on a mission, and we must stay focused, my bois! As planned, we get in there, get our cereal and a screwdriver. Okay! So far so good! Well, our plan kind've diverged when we run into this girl, and...huh...
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She damn sure looks...
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...a lot like us. More than a lot, actually. She's pretty much an exact copy. Well, that's...slightly uncomfortable and extremely confusing.
Clearly, she's thinking the same thing about us because she kind've rushes out before we can think any more about it or even say anything to her about it. We decide to follow suit and rush home ourselves to fix the shelf and finally eat something! We messed up a little though because we had gotten hurt -- again -- and Declan isn't exactly wearing glasses for no reason; he immediately noticed. We handle it pretty well though through some innocence and tears, and Declan drops the topic as soon as it comes up. Everything is gucci, again, and we're able to move on with our day and go to bed like normal.
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The next day rolls around, Declan goes to work, and we officially have the house to ourself and our trusted stuffed companion, Bruce. After some debate, we decide that today is the day we could go to that Bakery that we saw and get some of those cupcakes that we saw in the window. When we get there, something really odd happens.
The guy who works in the bakery is talking to us like he knows us, even going as far as to mention our dad. He starts trying to follow up with us and mentioned stuff about a break up, and this evil man, and someone named Mittens and...what the hell is this guy talking about?
So, of course, we're just standing there, because we came in for cupcakes, and this man just comes out of the woodwork with all this...information, and we don't know how to respond to any of it, but here's the even wilder part. Remember that doppelgänger we had saw yesterday? She's ends up coming into the bakery during all of this, and immediately, the man takes note of his mistake and allows us to go on our way. Like...what the hell was that?
Whatever though, we eat some of our cupcakes, hide the rest when Declan comes home, skip dinner (for obvious reasons), and get to bed. Fast forwarding a bit, we end up leaving out again, and we're feeling a bit adventurous and decide to buy some hair dye to color our hair like the girl that we saw because...well, we thought it was super pretty, and we wanted to be pretty, too, so it felt like the right thing to do lol. It...didn't come out well.
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Like, at all. Aside from the absolute disaster that our hair came out to be, we have an even bigger worry: How is Declan going to react when he sees us?
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Yeah, that's...what I thought.
Well, now...this is damned embarrassing, but still, Declan is our sweet and loving boyfriend! He loves us! Surely he wouldn't think it silly of us to want to dye our hair. Surely he wouldn't make fun of us for failing so miserably. Surely he wouldn't get angry that we snuck out to buy the hair dye. Surely he wouldn't get angry when he figures out that this wasn't our first time sneaking out. Surely he wouldn't lash out and turn into someone he isn't...
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Surely not.
And that's all I'm going to tell you! Aht, aht! Don't make that face! You know that I (usually) never tell you about how a visual novel ends! You gots to play it for yourself if you want to know how it ends, and trust me, you're going to want to know. Just a tip, this isn't even the "true" ending, and believe me when I say...
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It gets pretty wild.
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Okay, so this game is actually pretty good!
Y'all know I wouldn't lie to you, even if a dev specifically asks me to review their game, and let me tell you, I was not feeling it at first. I honestly truly wasn't. The start was kinda slow, there was a side-sprite of the MC, and there wasn't an option to put your own name in. I was pretty bummed because one of the main things for me is the option to self-insert, so for me, the game was kinda doomed from the start, and I probably wouldn't have downloaded it if I was just scrolling along and saw this game on my own, but listeeeeeen.
The plot itself, while it's nothing super innovative or anything, it was pretty damn solid. I really want to tell you the specifics but it would literally ruin the game as a whole. Honestly, from the title and just what I told you, you can probably gather what's going on, but how everything goes down and the information that we find out and ultimately how it all ends is a bit wild.
It's not a super choice heavy game, but the choices that are available -- and pay attention because this is about to be a "pro not really pro but something I think would be helpful to point out" tip! -- are essentially options that dictate how the second half of the story goes and what points you to the "bad" ending, the "good" ending, and the "true" ending, so keep that in mind.
The only gripe I have about the game is that the title is kind've a dead giveaway as to what's going on, especially when you play through like the first couple "scenes" or so of the game. Other than that, it's a pretty good read! It definitely kept me interested despite it being more "novely" (if you read my other review, that's a word I use to describe visual novels that have a more linear story line). Not to mention, the art style was pretty damn adorbs, and I liked that there was a lot of different CGs. I haven't run across a visual novel yet that's had as many CGs as this one has, so that was definitely a welcomed change because...well, I like art/drawings lol. Like, look at some of these images!
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Ugh, the amount of CGs just scratched my brain so correctly. I am a visual novel CG slut, I tell ya. Anytime there's a CG in a visual novel? I'm all over that shit. I love CGs. CGs for life. CGs forever.
Okay, that's enough gushing about the CGs...
ANYWAYS! That is my review of the game! Again, I thought it was a pretty solid read, and I recommend! It's free, so, what have you got to waste other than time? As per usual, I provide a link at the top, bottom, and within the review, and it is right here. Don't be shy! Go ahead click it, download it, play it, and share your thoughts on the dev's game page! Send them those lovely words of reassurance to let them know "Hey you! I liked your game, and I think you should make more!". As always, donations are super helpful as well, and if you want to be extra fancy, here is a link to the dev's tumblr page!
All righty! That's all from me this time around! Drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!
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I'm a Copycat
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bluewinnerangel · 1 year
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right back at ya cowboy
Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft
[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]
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Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.
Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.
I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D
But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.
ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?
ramble out.
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rothjuje · 1 year
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I’m finally feeling back to my normal self and it’s so. nice. Around Thanksgiving my mental health took a nosedive. It started with a small existential crisis and then a bunch of small things snowballed (kids being sick since mid October, Justin traveling a lot, no Thanksgiving plans, my friend keeping me sane went back to work, Alyssa struggling behaviorally and academically, George struggling with public outings, anxiety flare up, and a bad period). Whew.
Anyway. Existential crisis is still alive and well, but it’s mostly situational. Our goal, for our entire 10 years together, has been to move to a desirable location. We have been working on relocating somewhere where we both can be happy and put down roots. And now we’re here, and I am deeply grateful for that, but also I am left without A Goal and it’s made me panicky.
I have so many small goals, but my story arc is gone. I think it’s the ADHD in me that is attracted to bright and shiny goals. It is challenging to emotionally invest myself into just regular life stuff. Adderall has helped me get regular life stuff done, but when they wear off the consuming panic of why does consciousness exist/why am I here/what should I be doing? sets in.
I’m hoping eating more vegetables and daily exercise and my sun therapy lamp will quiet it.
Anyway. Our 6 month (!!!) anniversary of moving to MA was Dec 19. I cannot believe we’ve been here for 6 months. Well, I can, it feels like a lifetime. Jan 15 will be 6 months at home in Georgetown.
We walked the property for the first time recently (yeah I don’t know why it took 5 months, but also couldn’t take twins to the top of the mountain with no trail so needed a babysitter) and discovered property that we thought was ours is not and property we thought wasn’t ours is. Which is very surprising after living here for almost half a year haha.
Apparently from the edge of our front lawn and all the way back to the top of the hill is two thirds of our 1.84 acres. We thought the hill went further up and that most of our land was unusable. But to the right there is a whole other part that we couldn’t even see before the leaves fell, and then we just assumed it was the neighbor’s. But it’s ours and it’s one third of our total land, which is a lot. And there are several flat spots! Lots of trees though. But definitely room for a fire pit and kids’ play area.
I’ve worked a lot with Alyssa recently, academically and behaviorally (she’s waitlisted for behavioral therapy) and she’s in a much better place and is able to complete assignments with minimal direction. She has a bit of a wild side, but I think it’s more ADHD related than from behavioral issues. We have a lot of similarities (very creative and perpetually bored) but my anxiety always kept my behavior in check. Alyssa is the opposite of a people pleaser, and I love her free spirit, but it makes cooperating in the classroom more of a challenge for her.
George is also in a better place with public outings. He got dragged on so many holiday errands and was a champ. I think if we don’t do errands for a while he’ll panic in public but if it’s regularly he knows what to expect and will actually scream less than Gen. But that’s no surprise, she’s still the feistiest three year old I know.
I need to go back to work. Or at least have the goal of going back to work to keep me sane. I’m going to pursue real estate for a year and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. Classes here are only 40 hours and courses are currently on sale. I just need to jump.
What else? We’re getting an inexpensive treadmill as soon as we decide on if we’re doing the basement floors or not. I am going to run to the loudest music possible at 8 pm every night. I am going to DIY stairs to make the newfound property more easily accessible. Goats and bees are a go, but I’m not sure when. Chickens I’m still undecided for this year just because the amount of work (making and managing an incubator) and money (nice coops are pricey and wood is crazy expensive right now). So I do have some goals to keep me from going completely insane.
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windypuddle · 1 year
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PLS tell me about ur swapstars (enswap? enswapstars? ensembleswap?) valk and alkaloid i am frothing at the mouth its so good. likr so unexpected but so good
awesome thank you. i love valkyrie actually. it's very similar to canon valkyrie but blurple instead of red really. izumi really fits because hes all about beauty and perfection and mayoi really fits the faintly otherworldly vibe. shes a little freak <3 i like to think they really play up the valkyrie imagery but like izumi as the warrior angel and mayoi as um. a ghost. mayoi was probably called the phantom similar to in canon until izumi found him and brought mayoi out of the woodwork (literally) so she really looks up to izumi as having saved her and it makes izumi extra insufferable. but yknow. they get better over time and its more balanced. i think they both have such a commitment to art it just fits really well
alkaloid. ooooh. alkaloid. its Plot Time.
ok rei has to be relevant here a little bit but im not talking about undead so ill keep it brief. so basically rei and ritsu are from this ancient vampire family and rei is the model son. he goes to yumenosaki for musical training and because it doesnt really matter what he does at school, since hes just going to be the next head of the family anyway. he actually likes it. then the crusades happen and that makes his health worse so he returns home. unfortunately for the sakumas, he gets better, and he starts watching idol shows online, and when he hears about ensemble square, he runs away to be an idol.
this is where ritsu comes in. he didnt really understand why his oniichan would go to school and have to adjust his sleep schedule to be normal all for some music; his friend maa-kun did that too, but he was a normal kid so its ok. but one thing he cant accept is his oniichan leaving him like that. so he goes after him, and decides to get him back from inside the system, so he can get as close to his brother as possible. thats when he finds out maa-kun is also an idol, and has the great idea of teaming up with him, but keito is like, Wow, you suck, and drags tsumugi out of the administrative department and nazuna back from college to make a unit: alkaloid.
it gets more complicated from there, ranging from "oh haha maa-kun what are you doing here" "i.. work here?" " ahaha. no way. me too. lets team up" "????" to mao suspecting ritsu of only using him to get to rei which. isnt totally wrong. nazuna is filled with rage and feeling the effects of all nighters. tsumugi emerges from his office like a cave creature who hasnt seen the light of day in two weeks. theyre a mess i love them
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insurrection-if · 2 years
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Doggies
(_ _)人 Apologies for the silence! Aha, I have quite the pile-up of asks forming, and I am truly sorry for the poor management! I tried to burst out some progress on this blog in the midst of a major transition in the home, but not to much success I think.
A recent foreclosure in the family has led to the addition of a new canine companion (Charlie) in our household. His integration and wellbeing has been my main focus, especially with the presence of our other dogs and his . . . considerable health issues that developed and remained untreated for so long. (◞‸◟;) The stress from his ailments, treatments, expenses, and social interactions with the other dogs has kept my mind rather occupied, but it's all turned a real corner now.
He's eating and drinking well, taking his meds, has future appointments scheduled for the vet (and hopefully the groomer soon once his skin improves!), enjoying walks (to the shock of his former owner), and he's joined the my dog posse with a pep in his step. His earlier anxious need for attention and comfort has subsided as he's adapted to the stairs and become more familiar / confident in this new environment, and his developed autonomy has freed my time considerably. Even visits from his former owner no longer induce heart-aching howls once she departs as he now just casually trots back to us for the next activity, haha! ( ´∀`)b
The boy is eleven already, but I'm determined to keep him happy, healthy, and chugging along for some years more. He had been an immense source of comfort and joy to my dearly beloved great-grandpa in his final years, whose passing remains a bit unclosed to me, and it's been an emotional experience to sort of pay-forward the attention, love, and care Charlie offered to him in that time.
Anywho, just wanted to notify everyone about the situation since its left me quite distracted / busy for a week or so. (º﹃ º ) Seriously, I felt like I had been transported in time to when a new baby sibling joined the home with how sleep deprived and emotional I felt in his earliest days here, haha! (・ ´ω`・) He's mostly found his groove though, though his early bird morning tendencies are harsh on my night owl brain!
(´-εヾ )
Aha, in the midst of all this stress and emotion as well, I decided to return to good-ole Pinterest scrolling and . . . to my immense surprise, a great relieving activity turned out to be formulating the (half-)mortal and Divine RO cast for Hunters (an "intergalactic" mythology / fantasy series about [an "order of"] god-killers) and goodness I didn't expect to love them so much!
It's a much more liberating setting compared to Insurrection, so I had some fun with distinguishing the physiology of the (half-)mortal ROs. Desire, a Divine, in particular struck me as I listened to Let Me Be Your Wings from Thumbelina, haha! And then I can envision renowned Hunter Dorian / Iris falling in love as I listen to Once Upon a Dream from Sleeping Beauty, though the demeanor is more aligned to Oliver / Olive. Shahbaz's / Kamaria's perception towards their love feels slightly reminiscent to She by Pogo. Creed / Verina can also be linked in my mind to Go Out and Love Someone by Pogo, though their helplessness or sense of nervousness would likely only be summoned / instilled into them through an affection for the MC.
Nine ROs (five non-Divines and four Divines) - and, in turn, possible selectable species for the MC - cranked out in total (with thoughts to side romances / flings), though if they were all ever to last to an official project is unknown, haha! Its all so conceptual that its simple fun rather than stress about hard details and ordered events, and it was very much delightful.
d(・∀・○) That aside, it's time for me to hop back into Insurrection! . . . After some sleep here in my time zone, haha!
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Fanfiction of 2022 - Year in Review!
I like to do this every year just so it feels like I really got up to something. :D
Total number of completed stories: 13! (Er, if you count the one chapter of a Jane Eyre rewrite I posted for some reason in a fit of writer’s block madness. Which I shouldn’t, because it’s not complete. But I will anyway!)
Total Word Count: 32,000
Fandoms Written In: Jurassic Park, Killing Eve, Our Flag Means Death, Ted Lasso, Glass Onion, and Jane Eyre
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?: More, because this was a stressful personal year and I truly didn’t expect to write any at all. At the start of the year I was like, “You know what? This is just never gonna happen and that’s okay.” But I still busted some out when the fangirl inspiration overtook me, yay!
What’s your own favorite story of the year? I am torn between my Jurassic Park fic “and he feels like home”, my Ted Lasso fic “forget your troubles (come on, get happy)”, and my OFMD fic “my love a beacon in the night.” It’s a tie!
Did you take any writing risks this year? I participated in GrantlerFest with my Alan/Ellie fic “for me there is no other”, which I believe was the first time I’ve ever written a fic like that for a challenge in my 20+ year fanfic-writing career! I’m such a commitmentphobe when it comes to stuff like that, haha. And it wound up being a lot of fun! Year of Grantler, huzzah!
Do you have any fanfic or original fic goals for the new year? Fanfic: Just keep writing one-shots for fun when the spirit moves me! I do feel like I should write a Gilmore Girls fic this next year at some point just because it feels so weird that I didn’t in 2022.
Original fic: I have a few novel drafts I really want to get back to strengthening so I can do something with them; I feel like they deserve something better than just being an ignored file on my computer after the years of work I put into them! (Even though I’m really lazy and just letting them sit there forever is my natural impulse.) I also would potentially like to write a new novel project since it’s been a few years since my last. I think I’m going to try a comedy since I really want to hang out in silly land these days.
My Best-Written Story:  I think my OFMD fic “my love a beacon in the night” is, because it was a long time coming and because I worked on it really hard for longer than I usually do with fic! I wanted to do an “Oh my God, what happens after season one, how could you possibly fix this” fic like right after s1 ended in March, but somehow it took like the rest of the year and five or so rewatches for me to reach the point where I could actually write about it.
Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe: Just based on my own sort of irrational personal feelings, I’d say the same story as above, “my love a beacon in the night”! I think because I posted it so long after season one aired, the fandom excitement has maybe kind of cooled somewhat. It was just one of those fics where I felt like I was really putting a lot of ideas into the writing (rather than a more standard, like, simple bantery cute fic), and I suuuuper passionately cared about all those ideas just because I am so crazy emotionally invested in Ed and Stede, so I was curious to find out what other fans of the show would think about it. However: I did still get incredibly kind comments on it and it was wonderful to read people’s thoughts! In my dream life its reach would’ve just been a bit further because I’m just, like, itchy for interaction about that fic.
Most Popular: Coming in and clobbering all competition right at the end of the year, my wee little Glass Onion coda “here’s another place you can be”! It’s definitely because I was in the right place at the right time with that one. Fandom kairos!
Before that for most of the year, it was my little Killing Eve post-finale fic “darkness bright” where Villanelle lives because WHY WOULDN’T VILLANELLE LIVE. The finale is a lie, and my tiny fanfiction is the TRUTH!
Most Fun: My Ted Lasso fic “forget your troubles (come on, get happy)” where Ted mistakenly thinks Rebecca and Beard are falling in love and has Problems with it, just because I was in a state of pure hyper romcom nonsense writing it and it was REALLY enjoyable. And the reception to it really left me over the moon!
Most Disappointing: I had a few fics that I wrote a lot of – my first attempt at a post-s1 OFMD one from back in March and a Ted Lasso one that was a sequel to my AU fic “i once was poison ivy” – that just didn’t quite come together enough to be completed. That was a bit odd for me because usually when I’ve written a few thousand words of something, that fact alone is enough to propel me to finish it and post it. But I just couldn’t quite get those ones to work! (Although I did reread the OFMD one recently and I actually thought it was pretty decent. So maybe one day I’ll try to dust it off with the disclaimer that it was written by someone whose psyche had just been entirely shattered by watching episodes 9 & 10 for the first time. I also think the Ted Lasso one probably has some good bits in it, but it was on the more melancholy side a lot of the time and I don’t think my writing works super well in the melancholy zone.)
Most Sexy: I don’t ever really write sexy stuff in the traditional sense, but I think my sexiest fic from 2022 is my post-Jurassic World Dominion Alan/Ellie fic “and he feels like home”, for the reason of: WHAT IS SEXIER THAN THEM FINALLY GETTING BACK TOGETHER AND HAVING A BLISSFUL TIME BECOMING EACH OTHER’S LIFE PARTNERS AGAIN AFTER NEARLY 3 DECADES? Nothing!!
Story With The Single Sweetest Moment: I am embarrassed to say that I have sort of a hard time picking because my fic all tends to hang out in the “and then there’s a sweet moment this has all been building toward!” zone. For the sake of brevity: I did really like the idea of Benoit Blanc being able to easily set aside the insane experiences in Glass Onion and say and genuinely mean “Wow, that’s amazing!” at Phillip finally successfully baking something. That is the original germ that grew the whole little story!
I also really liked how Ted professed his Feels to Rebecca in “forget your troubles (come on, get happy)”. That kinda snuck up on me.
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I wrote a Killing Eve fic called “you’ll never leave me” (I’m not above pulling “Tell Me” lyrics for all Killing Eve fic titles!) that was meant to sort of explain WHY Eve and Villanelle were in such a different place at the start of season four than they were when season three ended, and it did help me to feel like I could imagine a smoother bridge between the two seasons based on what both of them had going on emotionally. Even though honestly, I think the writers of actual canon were just being lazy for no reason and that sucks. Sometimes you just gotta do the work yourself, SIGH!
Biggest Surprise:  Listen, I thought there was no way I would ever write fanfic for the Knives Out franchise. What could have ever compelled me to?? The answer, it turns out: Hugh Grant. Dear God, maybe he is my blorbo.
Hardest to Write: I don’t usually stick with fanfic if it’s hard to write these days, since the stakes are so low; I think the hardest time I had was writing the post-party conversation between Ed and Stede in “my love a beacon in the night,” just because it was really long and complicated and I really wanted to get it right and pick up where they’d left off with all their issues in s1. I did a lot of rewriting and reading it to myself and really trying to be able to vividly imagine each beat. I’d say I am at least 95% satisfied with it. Yeah!!
Most Unintentionally Telling: I don’t remember if I was thinking about it at the time or not, but for the general experience in my lil’ Ed/Stede fic “comfort in a bedfellow’d state” and the buzzy feelings of new love, I pulled a lot from the early days of my own relationship one million years (or, well, one decade) ago. D’awww!
Also, I feel like the fact that I started the year trying to rewrite Jane Eyre from memory says a lot about the writer’s block I was wrestling with at the time. But that’s more intentionally telling. I feel so lucky that some inspiration came along and I was still able to have fun writing fic this year!
***
Here is my Works page on AO3 if anyone’s interested in checking out any of the stuff mentioned above!
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kittttycakes · 8 months
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Ahh I’m so glad you’re enjoying GND. It is the best and I love it so much.
Also I reread ‘kiss the ring, bend the knee, bow down’ and damn, I needed a cold shower after that.
The line where Morpheus says “I would not ask for what you would not willingly give: only your love. Your devotion. Your obedience. And in return, I would give you everything: a place in my kingdom, by my side, in my bed, in my heart.” Is just nnnnghggh.
It does also remind me of Jareth in the Labyrinth saying to Sarah “I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.”
And now I want to rewatch it haha.
I really hope Grace does get that friend! I can’t think of anyone in universe off the top of my head though. Do you think you’d consider some kind of sneaky crossover with an adjacent fandom?
I’ll be absolutely stoked if you’re able to write something where Constantine runs into/meets Grace and Hob. I love the thought of Constantine being surprised and maybe slightly TMI upon realising that maybe tall, dark and broody doesn’t have as much of a stick up his ass as you’d think.
Having been rereading a bunch of your writing, I noticed a few were written for Promptober 2022. Do you think you’ll do something similar this year?
That line was definitely inspired at least in passing by that very line from Labyrinth! That was a formative movie for me, and there’s just something about the power dynamic between full control and total submission and both at the same time that’s rife with possibility. Morpheus gets to use all of his pretty words to his advantage, as a treat! He can be all things, and Grace wants it all. I’m so happy you enjoyed that one, that might actually be my favorite of the smut one shots (so far).
I would never say never to the possibility, especially for a possible future one shot! Even just something subtle with a name…I would love for Grace to have someone who she can be fully honest with and relax around, instead of constantly having to keep in the back of her mind what she can and can’t talk about. She’s good at keeping things vague enough for plausible deniability, she pulls out a lot of “my partner” and just using pronouns instead of names, but if her friends ever think about it too hard, the stories she tell don’t quite line up sometimes, and it’s almost like there’s two different personalities at play.
I love Constantine so much (both Johanna and the short lived 2014 NBC series), so any excuse I can have to bring her back in, I will absolutely be taking. I’d really love for her and Hob to meet, that has to be a bit of a trip for him! Grace would be very interested in her and what she does, if she can weasel anything out of her about her job. Constantine definitely does her best not to think of Morpheus’s personal life, but it’s a big surprise that his type appears to be very far from the sort of Morticia Addams type she would have guessed at, if pressed.
I am planning to do another round of Promptober this year! Like last year, it will likely extend into November, but hey, it’s for fun! I did 15 prompts that I gathered from a few different sources and my own head last year, I think this year I’m going to be borrowing a little from kinktober, whumptober, and a fall/Halloween themed list that I have saved as a draft that I’ll credit and link to when my masterlist goes up. I also have a few saved asks with prompts that I’m going to be working through soon too, so lots of plans there!
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bbnibini · 2 years
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ahh solovers who were there around the time of launch for obey me (or at least, were there when season 1 was the only season) seem to also have had a knack for satan it seems~ me too! the very first posts i made on obm tumblr were analyses on what we knew about satan. how his unicorn symbol on the RAD council room banner might represent the loss of purity through the consumption of knowledge in the garden of eden; how he may feel less real than his brothers due to his birth being inherently tied to their loss of purity, being born of ever-growing hatred and misplaced “righteousness”.
pretttyyy sure solovers may have a thing for bringing justice to those who cannot speak for themselves, but enough about satan...
when season 2 rolled around and solomon showed us the dagger in the very first chapter i was begging for it to be for diavolo </3 now that i have a broader picture of diavolo as a person, i no longer harbor hatred for him, but i am still a bit wary. he hasn't had the chance to properly interact or connect, but no one seems to hold him accountable for the things that he's done wrong. i can also blame that on the poor writing from the devs, though—unless he's purposefully machiavellian underneath his lightheartedness... which he is, imo. he's lovely in all of his rightful glory but a lot of the things he's done don't sit right with me. curse that angel event that traumatized everyone once it came out like wtf sjdbksjw, good food tho! it just makes me think back to lucifer's chapter A ur devilgram where diavolo actually sounds fairly reasonable with his views. similar situation as satan before the devs changed...him...all for the fandom at the time :((
you're right, though! barbatos is someone who will turn his head away and choose to not speak with you, and we've seen how sharp-tongued simeon can get. solomon hasn't shown an ounce of bitterness towards anyone, if i recall correctly--even demons. he holds a reasonable perspective on them, and doesn't really force mc into that perspective, either. he only tells them what he believes and nothing more.
seeing so many mischaracterized posts of him makes me go [enter infinite negative keysmash here], but then i remember that i can just create my own fanfic & art content whether it be for the fandom or for my mc's lore, huhu
on another note, do you remember when the first april fools rolled around and everyone unanimously agreed that satan was the cause of all of the apps and profile pictures turning into cats? or how solomon didn't get a birthday event due to the then undateables turning into nowdateables a few days prior, but he still had his woeful birthday dialogue? good times... (╥﹏╥)
also!! never apologize for writing too much because i'm someone who has too much writer's brainrot for both the media I'm into and oc lore (whether it be my own or someone else's), so i totally get the “i want to say everything that i could possibly talk about in 6 hours and condense it into bite-sizes portions so i won't scare my new friends away” phase ♡ because me too tbh
Ooh, that's interesting! My reason for liking Satan back then was a lot more shallow--he just looked like my ultimate favourite character in one of my favourite franchises: Proto Arthur from the Fate series. I had a phase when I was really into Fate and the Arthurian legend, and Satan just managed to stay my favourite for a while because we share a lot of similarities and hobbies (reading books, liking cats, being obsessed with puns etc haha). He isn't my favourite now, of course. But I still really like him as a character. I really love the lore about him being a part of Lucifer gaining his own individuality, and his parallels with Arthur where he's insecure about being "boring", similar to how some Fate fans who did not read the light novel series and played the Prototype games assumed Arthur is just some "pretty boy with a boring personality".
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(spoilers for Obey Me main story and devilgrams under the cut)
I am still quite baffled about that too, though I like everyone in the Obey Me cast now. I did notice Diavolo's machinations are not really seen negatively in the fandom, along with some inconsistencies with his character--one of the more recent events where the cast grew animal ears when they lie being one of them. I vaguely recall Diavolo saying that he hated lying and never lied, so I just found that weird because that isn't true at all. And the term "hating lying" is just really vague. Either way, I think one of the reasons why the fandom is a lot more forgiving with his schemes is because he left a favourable impression at the start. Solomon and how he was introduced wasn't the same.
Personally, I like how nuanced each of the cast is. The examples you described are actually the reasons why I think I personally like them, or perhaps why a lot of their fans like them as well. I love the OM cast because they're neither good or bad people. They're just people--they make mistakes. They're not perfect, they hurt each other etc. That applies to Solomon as well. What I don't like is how unforgiving the fandom is to Solomon's own nuance when all the other characters are also purposely morally grey. They always assume the worst of him when there's so much evidence that suggests he isn't a bad person. Questionable actions and decisions? Maybe. But all of the cast (except Luke perhaps) were the same.
I believe Solomon had been distrustful of demons before the MC changed his perspective. In hard mode, I recalled he made a pact with Asmodeus because he found out he was Lucifer's brother. There's also an official chart that the official OM social media posted where it showed how the cast members think of each other and Solomon's chart labelled all the demons as "toys". I don't think that applies now, but I am assuming OM didn't know what to do with Solomon and fumbled on his characterisation, hence there's so much inconsistencies about him. I feel like he was meant to be "seemingly questionable but misunderstood" and he had always been planned to be romanceable at some point (I mean...he's always been looking after the MC since the earlier main story), and they might have planned to give an explanation on why he acted the way he acted from the start, but by the time he was romanceable, it was too late. The fandom already formed impressions of him (of the unfavourable kind) and they started doubling down...with ambivalent results.
HAHAHA imagine trying to hide your love for Solomon for years. Couldn't be me. c': Back then, it was harder to defend him because everyone unanimously agreed he's "shady". I'm glad he's getting more appreciation now.
Haha! I was actually so sad he didn't get a birthday event when he became romanceable. I was sad for a while and got even sadder he was barely present in events. So when the circus event dropped, I swiped my card hard and ranked xD. It was a crazy time haha. I'm still mad I held back and didn't get his top-up card before. I'm curious what the "You are Evil" devilgram is about. I'm assuming DnD, which I have no clue about.
Same here! I like seeing you rant here in my ask. Glad to see another launch player because most of my friends who played with me since launch quit. :( And thanks for sending an ask! <3
EDIT: I forgot to mention I agree that the potential for a deeper plot in the Chapter A devilgrams was an opportunity lost. Belphie's Hide and Seek was one of my personal favourites. I believe the only chapter A UR I'm missing is Luke's.
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