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hexiewrites · 2 years

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I’ve been thinking a lot about late-deafened Steve, and what that actually would have looked like. Because the thing is: I love this head cannon. Boy got bashed around so much, ESPECIALLY on his left side, theres no way he didn’t come out of that with some long term damage. And I’ve been thinking about what that means for him, when his hearing starts to go, and how isolating that would be.

Except. Then I keep thinking about Robin.

Give me child-of-Deaf-adults Robin. Robin whose parents met at Gallaudet. Who were confused and upset when the doctor said, relief clear on his face, oh thank god, how lucky, your baby is normal, she can HEAR. Robin who grows up a in a Deaf home with a Deaf family. Who learns ASL before she learns English. Who never learns to be quiet because at home it doesn’t matter, so she can blast trumpet all day long to no complaints, and forever feels uncomfortable in places where she has to try to keep it down. Robin who grows up learning ASL and English and thrives, loves the way her brain works when it’s parsing languages, and starts teaching herself French and Spanish too, blasting day time Spanish soap operas constantly whenever she’s at home, shouting along with the screen. Robin who interprets for her parents, taking on burdens no seven year old should when she’s the one who has to tell her mom the cancers back. Robin who, four years later, gets to tell her dad that the surgery worked. The cancers gone. Moms gonna be ok. Robin who, at eleven, doesn’t know the sign for remission but she signs CANCER-one hand eating at the other like the disease that almost took her Mom-and signs FINISH, signs NONE, signs MOM-OKAY, MOM-SAFE, and is glad her dad can’t hear how loud her sobs are because even she’s embarrassed at the noises she’s making.

Robin who doesn’t quite fit at home, the loud little girl in the odd quiet house (not that her house is ever quiet: if you dont realize you’re making noise you don’t do anything to tamper it), and who doesn’t quite fit at school, when she shows up in kindergarten signing instead of speaking and all the other kids make fun of her for years, call her spazzy Buckley and imitate the signs, crude and heartbreaking and she can’t even cry here because everyone can hear her. Robin who teaches herself to speak without signing, sits on her hands and tries not to internalize the hatred, but her fingers still twitch constantly along with the words. Robin who thinks she’s never going to fit in, and tries to separate out the two different parts of herself because it’s easier, most days, to pretend to be “normal” even though that feels wrong too.

Give me Robin, who knows Steve inside out and who knows what it looks like when someone can’t hear you but pretends they can. Robin who clocks Steve immediately, even though he tries to brush her off like he’s been doing to everyone. Robin who finally takes him home to meet her parents, explaining it all in the car (into his right ear, which is better than the left though still starting to fade). Robin who gives Steve the gift of understanding and hope for the future. Who holes up with him and teaches him sign, slow at first (because Steve has never been good at grammar, and he constantly furrows his eyebrows despite her pleas that eyebrows are important in ASL and he needs to use his face more or he’s going to confuse everyone, it’s the visual equivalent of lilting your voice up like every sentence is a question and it’s weird, Steve!) and then faster as he starts to realize how useful it is, starts to bring her lists full of signs to learn, starts to lean on and cherish the experience of this new way to communicate. Robin, who helps him practice lipreading even though she’s terrible at it. Robin, who finally convinces him to get a hearing aid and lets him sob into her shoulder when the doctor says it’ll help for a few years, but long term there’s probably nothing they can do, and then tells him to buck it up because there are way worse things than being a little deaf and besides, now the Buckleys will just have to adopt him for real because they did always talk about adopting a deaf child or two, if there was ever one in need.

Give me CODA Robin, whose never felt like she belonged until she nearly gets murdered by Russians with her best friend. Who brings Steve into her life, shows him Deaf culture, gives him a place where he fits. Robin who finally realizes that this is her place too, and it’s so much sweeter for getting to share it with the people she loves.

And then, after, give me Eddie knocking on the Buckley door and begging to learn ASL too. Give me Robin’s mom, somehow roped in to teaching him and the party, as they try to learn in secret to make Steve’s life easier (and their own, because ASL is god tier for pulling pranks from opposite sides of a high school cafeteria). Give me Dustin, excitedly telling Miranda Buckley to FUCK-OFF every week for months because he thinks he’s saying THANK-YOU and she finds it too funny to correct him. Give me Eddie trying to surprise Steve and ask him out on a date, but instead of signing HUNGRY, WANT YOU&ME GO AFTER WORK? he signs HORNY, WANT YOU&ME GO FUCK?

And give me Steve, who thinks about it for a long minute (partially because Eddie totally botches the grammar, but partially because he looks so hot, standing there nervous and trying to communicate with Steve in a way that will make him the most comfortable) before he smirks and signs back YEAH, and takes Eddie on the best goddamn first date of his life.

#sorry i just!!! had so many thoughts #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #steddie #at the end there #deaf steve harrington #disabled steve harrington #CODA robin buckley #asl #stranger things #stranger things headcanons #is that what youd call this #idk #word vomit #hex writes stuff #kind of!#oh and uh sorry about the angst in the middle #i couldnt help it

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monikatouhou · 5 months

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Ran Yakumo Simulator 2023

[CORE_SOUL: On]

You are nowhere. There is nothing.

In truth, you are likely in your body, hopefully where you last left it, but you cannot tell at this time.

[DIVINATION_MODULE_v3.5: On] - It will take eight minutes to gain visual input in the right eye. It will take an hour and five minutes for [AUX_AUDIT_PROC_v9] to come online. Heat a tortoise shell and observe the cracks for more information.

You are glad Lady Yukari made it so that this is what typically comes online first. It usually gives you something to look forward to. Though it would perhaps be nicer to be able to see or move first. However, you know from experience that these are some of the more difficult parts of a shikigami to make work.

[CHEN_CONNECTION_v12: On] - She is fast asleep. No further information.

This is the only part of yourself that you made largely on your own. Naturally, it is the least functional. It was worse in the past though.

[...]

[ROCK_GAP_SIMULACRUM: On]

In place of this there used to be a gap connection to the outside world. Lady Yukari called it a "Load Bearing Coconut", even though it was clearly connected to a rock. However, it apparently shattered last year, which of course caused practically everything to either malfunction or break completely. This is a replacement she made. This increased loading time, as did all the previous band-aid fixes over the last several centuries.

[...]

[OLD_REPURPOSED_MODULE_(REPLACE_THIS): On]

[SENSE_INPUT_BUS: On]

[SMELL: On]

[VISION_R: On]

The left eye for some reason always takes at least a few more minutes to come online. Lady Yukari has not been able to explain why that is to you.

You know that you are in fact in your room, and you know that eight minutes have passed. Little you can do with this information for now, since you still cannot move.

You should change your duvet cover later today. This one needs to be washed.

[PROPRIOCEPTION: On]

[TASTE: On]

[SOMATOSENSORY: On]

Your eyes are very dry, much like every morning. They open automatically when you first awake, but you can only blink voluntarily. Not an urgent fix, since this cannot cause you any damage, it's just unpleasant.

[FIXUPS_v3: On]

For the time being, you are stuck staring at the ceiling. Yukari told you once that body motion and eye motion are controlled largely separately in humans, but this is not the case in your body. You cannot move your eyes until the bodily output bus comes online.

[...]

[FIXUPS_B_v5.5: On]

[MOTOR_CONTROL_CORE_v4: On]

This part will help you coordinate your movements once you are able to move.

[FIXUPS_C_v4: On]

[MOTORICS_STABILISER_v2: On]

[...]

[BODILY_OUTPUT_BUS: On]

[GAP: On]

At long last. You blink and rub your eyes in an attempt to get rid of the dryness. You finally sit up. You get up from your bed.

What is this gap for, in any case?

You should probably start going about your day.

You look around your room for what might be your hairbrush. None of your visual processing modules are on yet, and so identifying objects is difficult. Also, your left eye is taking a while to start working. Nevertheless you find what you figure is a brush - it is about the correct lenght, has one thinner part that may be a handle, and a wider part bearing what might be the hairs. Using the same memorized motions you've used for centuries, you brush your hair.

Maybe you should leave your room. Might be good to try to cook something, or if your object identification processing module isn't on yet by then, maybe get a drink.

You walk towards what seems like a door. You look over it to make sure it is not your closet door. The shape of the handle seems right for the one you are looking for, so you start walking towards it.

[FIXUP_OVERHAUL_v0.99: On]

Suffering a momentary lapse of consciousness, you crash right into the door, and fall onto the floor.

This was an attempt of Lady Yukari's to eventually replace all the overly big "fixup" modules with some more streamlined implementation. This giant module, currently attached somewhere around the other fixup and motorics modules, is the result. Frankly, you would be better off without it.

You get back up and open the door.

[VISION_L: On]

[SPEECH_MOTORICS_v2: On]

Took a while. You walk out of your room and head to the kitchen, using your mental map of the house, walking carefully, since your ability to notice obstacles by sight is still impaired.

You enter what you're fairly sure is the kitchen. Probably best you do not cook just yet. You remember Yukari recently purchased some outside world drink. You could try that, to pass the time.

It is bottled, so you look for a bottle, and a glass to pour the drink into. You find objects identifiable as such.

You pour yourself a glass. Isn't this smell strange? You take a sip..

You spit it out. This is vinegar. This was not the right bottle.

[AUX_VISUAL_PROC_OBJECTS_IDENT_v4: On]

This would have been very useful a few seconds ago.

[STAR_MAP_HD: On]

[CLOCK: On] - It is 7:21:30.2912 am

You are unsure what the star chart is for, and every time you asked Yukari, she just chuckled and refused to answer.

You hear a sound behind you in the kitchen. Laughter?

You look in the direction of the sound. The source of it is some sort of person. You cannot tell apart faces yet, but they are wearing one of Yukari's dresses and have blond hair, and so you easily conclude this is probably Lady Yukari.

YAKUMO YUKARI - [Unintelligible]

You cannot yet process speech, so you don't know what she is saying.

YOU - "I'm sorry, Lady Yukari. My auditory processor is not on yet, and so I cannot understand you."

The person you presumed is Lady Yukari laughs again.

You sigh.

You used to be able to do a lot of this processing with the core soul alone, didn't you? Has your core just lost its functions, as it could rely on all the auxiliary processors?

Not that it matters.

You come back to the stove to cook breakfast for yourself, Lady Yukari and Chen. By the time you are done, most modules should be on.

#ran yakumo simulator 2023 #ran yakumo #chen #yukari yakumo #textpost #shikigamiposting #the take i ended up with mid-writing is that the core soul is kinda like the mitochondria in that it loses functions that it doesn't need #anyway this is the first time i ever wrote any amount of fiction #so this is probably awkward in a lot of places #tags and comments appreciated as always

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theflagscene · 5 months

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The hand rubbing scene is the gayest sex scene GMMtv has ever had on screen, allow me to explain to you why.

Gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Now I can’t speak as someone who is completely blind (obviously) but I can speak as someone who has been progressively losing their sight for the past 15 years - ironically enough from a car accident. Why hello Day, I see you! (pun intended) But I’m also a person who grew up HoH (hard of hearing) from the age of two years old onward, I had tubes put in my ears, wore hearing aids, the whole shebang. The chances of me actually regaining my ability to hear completely was very very slim, the fact that I did actually end up regaining some - not all - of my hearing by my late twenties was a damn shock to us all. The point being, when you are a person who’s lost one of your senses that you are used to having, your body starts to overcompensate.

Most everyone has heard/read/seen things about how removing one sense can lead to your other ones becoming stronger. There’s even been studies that show people born deaf or deafened at a very young age, that their brain starts to rewire itself to allow them to experience sound in a visual way, via touch. It’s sort of like how blind people learn to read braille in a way, the touch creates a picture in your mind allowing you to see the way that word looks and sounds and feels. Theres a whole bit in Scientific America you can check out if you want that breaks it down in layman terms without the writing acting like you’re stupid, which is always nice when it comes to medical jargon lol.

So my point that to Day, his sense of touch is not only in overdrive because it like much of the rest of his senses - smell seems to be a big one they’re leading with - are scambling to try and overcompensate for the sudden lack of sight that is getting worse as time passes. But because he had pulled away from basically the entire world post blindness setting in, spending the last year of his life in his room hardly interacting with anyone, his own mother and brother barely being allowed to touch him. That for Day, his sense of touch is absolutely frantic. Which is why it’s so important for Mhok to constantly place his hands on him, not only to help lead him back into the world but to allow Day to recognize him by touch alone. And it’s being shown that he is, Day already knows Mhok’s voice and it’s touched a bit on the way he smells (ciggs) but this last episode is really starting to show how the touch of people is starting to fully affect Day, especially when he’s out of the house and how Mhok is instantly recognized even though he always follows up his touch with a vocal confirmation that it is in fact him that is touching Day.

So that hand stroking scene, the way Mhok runs the pads of his fingers gently up the centre of Day’s palm, how he strokes the back of his hand like it’s a kitten. That right there could genuinely feel like sex to Day, if not sexual in manner at the very least. The fuzzy look Day gets in his eyes, going from blank, to blissful to bashful and then finally awkward. It wasn’t just because of the fact that the dude he lowkey is starting to have a crush on is rubbing his hand in what I’m seeing being called a ‘weirdly intimate way’. It’s because Day’s body and brain is reacting to that touch in a way that people with all five senses might not completely comprehend, imagine your most intense erogenous zone (btw the palms of the hands are occasionally considered one) now imagine if that intensity was ramped up by ten, or twenty or even fifty and then imagine that that erogenous zone was suddenly everywhere. The most innocuous part of your body could bring you the most incredible sensations, both sexual and emotional, that’s what Day is feeling.

Mhok, now Mhok, he’s not stupid. Far from it in fact, he’s clued in on that not only is Day queer but also that he has a bit of a crush on him. Mhok has also quickly adapted to how he needs to teach Day to see the world in a new way, hence all the touching and smelling and reinforcement that Day can in fact do things for himself, including asking for help when he needs it. So Mhok knew exactly what he was doing with the hand rubbing, sort of. Did he know the sensation would be heightened, my best bet is totally. But did he expect to have his reaction to it go beyond that of teasing? Given his own bashfulness, doubtful. When you’re dating someone with a loss of one or many senses, you tend to change your own preconceived notions of what intimacy with your partner is. For some people offering a foot rub to their partner is a clear come on, an offer for something to lead to more. But for a blind person, especially a newly blind person like Day. They use their hands to navigate their entire world - you literally read with your fingers - so a blind persons hands are basically their most important tools in a lot of ways. To have someone touch your hands with such care, such reverence, it’s not just intimate, it’s full on foreplay.

Mhok wasn’t just touching Day, he was touching Day. It was meant to be seen as intimate because it was intimate, so intimate, in a way I don’t think either Mhok nor Day were expecting it to be because neither had ever experienced something like that before. That scene was truly the beginning of their relationship shifting, that hand scene was kind of like their first kiss.

Gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

#last twilight the series #mhokday #morkday #jimmysea #nontraditional intimacy #for real tho #JimmySea played that scene so freaking well #this entire show makes me happy #to have some sort of queer representation that I connect with so well #like Day I totally get you bb #also sorry for yanking your gifs Wanderlust #hope you don’t mind :)

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darlin-djarin · 1 year

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too many thoughts in my head so anyway consider deaf din djarin. he gets caught up in a lot of explosions and i feel like that impacts his hearing a lot.

his hearing loss started on aq vetina that day he lost his parents- some explosion threw off his hearing and he was too confused in the moment to realize his ears weren’t working as well. and then later when he gets adopted into the covert, he realizes his hearing gets just worse and worse over time. i’ve seen theories that the armorer is a tusken raider and so when din was younger, the armorer taught him tusken sign language. he relied a lot on it when he was little and hadn’t taken up the creed yet. the armorer probably also designed little hearing aids for him.

yk how din is very observant and silent? being deaf keeps you totally visually dependent so he watches people a lot for their mannerisms and behaviors and body language so he can understand context. din probably doesn’t talk a lot because he’s self conscious over the fact he might’ve developed a deaf accent since he lost his hearing when he was very young (the reason he talks more often with grogu privately is because he’s gotten comfortable enough with using his voice around the kid).

anyway, eventually, when he took the creed, the armorer developed a built in advanced hearing aid system into his helmet, so he could hear really well with his helmet on. that’s why he prefers keeping his helmet on even when he’s alone or in private. whenever he takes off his helmet, he pretty much can’t hear. his hearing only gets worse and worse as he goes off and does bounties that concern explosions and loud noises, to the point where he can barely hear anything without some sort of aid.

anyway yk that scene with din being helmetless where that imperial officer was talking to din and he asked him what his name was and din was hesitating and confused??? deaf moment. he couldn’t understand what the officer was saying. he was relieved that migs helped him out because he has no idea what was going on. and then that helmetless scene where he took it off for grogu? boy couldn’t hear anything as he watched grogu leave with luke, just like how he couldn’t hear anything as he watched his parents leave him underground. it hits hard for him honestly.

anyway that’s just me and my little deaf din headcanon that probably won’t leave my thoughts for the next billion years.

#i will write fic. i WILL write a fic. someone dare me to write a fic….#star wars #star wars headcanons #the mandalorian #din djarin #grogu #luke skywalker #the armorer #oil.#migs mayfeld

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rolling-uuuuupthehill · 13 days

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I’m almost a decade out of high school and my mind fully went blank when Brennan pulled out the standardized test booklets. That visual aid is worse then any monster he’s about to throw at them.

#dimension20 #brennan lee mulligan #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #d20

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lesbianslvt666 · 11 months

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hunger

Musician!R x artist!guitarrist!E

In which Ellie sees how much you want to make your dreams come true so she helps you as much as she can.

but being a rockstar comes with a lot of fun, and a lot of pain…

TW: not proof read 😔👎

CW: mentions of gore, in the future mean Ellie, a bit of angst, some fluff, whiped!Ellie, a bit of loser Ellie lol, mentions of the U.K!! And a lot of fucking cursing, mentions or descriptions of drugs and alcohol, and smoking, a lot lol.

Smut in the future of course

you couldn’t afford to continue with your studies.

not that you cared about college either, you knew you had a greater purpose since you were a child, writing songs as soon as you learned your ABC's, and singing as soon as were out of the womb.

music school was WAY out of budget.

The original plan was the U.K… too expensive to get there…

Then it was of course New York… you know the drill…

When you moved to Brooklyn you were expecting to get a closer insight on the music industry.

to be where the majority of your favourite artists grew up in.

However, you were greeted with a guy trying to mug you but getting mugged by an older woman while you flee the scene, and an extremely expensive rent for an apartment the size of a sock.

L shaped. a room, a very small study, a bathroom that didn’t had a separation between the shower head and the toilet and the smallest kitchen to ever exist.

However, the view was like no other, the big window pointing to the walls marked in art to the bone, people on the nearby basketball court, playing live music, skating or, of course, playing basketball.

Working two side jobs to pay for your needs and your pretty black cat named tuna.

still, working during day time as a receptionist and playing in ugly shit holes of bars at night wasn’t easy to maintain.

You needed a roommate fast.

and as today calls, with Mia storming out of the pub.

bruised lip after fighting a creep, guitar hanging from her shoulder and both middle fingers pointing at you and your band, while walking backwards to the exit and screaming.

"I quit you cunts! this aint going anywhere!"

you also needed a guitarist…

That’s when you started to talk with your friends, you needed someone that wouldn’t kill you in your sleep, or worse… steal all your shit and run away, or even lamer…. that would get you in a pyramid scheme.

So you called your best girl, the most precious sunshine in the world. Dina, who by now was sitting across your bed, feet on your lap while you massaged them.

for fucks sake, poor Dina worked as a hostess in a very expensive restaurant, working on high heels for six hours a day. She needed the relive.

"so I told him that if he ever came closer to me I was going to yank the little three hairs left in his receding balding stupid head of his, smash his skull hard against the pavement and make him clean his brain splattered with his tongue" her soft demeanour and relaxed body contrasting her poison laced words, however, all you could see was flowers and rainbows clouding around her.

"Dina, I need a roommate, like now, or I'll have to go back to Michigan with my dad…" you changed the subject as soon as she stopped talking, her eyes darting to you and her body lifting from the mattress.

She already had two roomies and her rent was way too good to be located in new York, you didn’t wanted her to leave such a good opportunity of a place.

"do you perhaps have a friend that would be waling to take the smallest of rooms aka aa fucking 2x2 meters study? And very small bathroom and shower that leaks and I haven't been able to fix, in this very shitty part of Brooklyn and-"

your rant was interrupted by Dina's hand on your thigh, cleaning the tears that were falling from your eyes without you noticing.

this was your chance to prove to yourself you could make your dreams come true and money wasn’t helping…

"I have a friend… I mean she is not like, rich, but she has financial aid in NYU in visual arts, she just enrolled a few months ago and her landlord is a fucking weirdo, also… I guess she would like to live the Brooklyn experience?, you know, all Basquiat and shit…" she said almost not paying attention to her own words while looking for her friends contact on her phone.

The pencil Ellie had on her hand was hammering the table in front of her, this lecture too boring for her to even care.

She had to add it to her schedule for extra points after missing too many classes.

Her early morning classes were a pain in her ass, she had to work night shifts to pay her "fucking new York rent" as she told her best friend Jesse.

"bzzz, bzzzz…" the sudden messages scaring the shit out of Ellie, she wasn’t dealing right now, so who was messaging her? Both Joel and Jesse knew she was in class, her last hook up stood her up after a night at a party and she had no other friends… perhaps an emergency?

She unlocked her phone, hiding it behind her sketchbook, (she was doing homework for another class)

@Dina_beatchlvr

Hey, Ellie, sorry the time.

Jesse told me u in class, but I am.

I am here with my friend, she has this free studio down here in Brooklyn, great location and pretty view from the main window.

@ells69

Sup, umm, I already have an apartment tho?

@Dina_beatchlvr

Yeah, I mean… thought you wanted to get away from your landlord as possible? 🤷🏽‍♀️

@ells69

What's the catch? How much? And who is your friend? Iont wanna die before 27 :))

@Dina_beatchlvr

the catch is that she needs a roomie and I don’t want wtvr weirdo in her personal space.

I also happen to know that you need to renew the contract with your creep of a landord, anddddd, the place is smoke and pet frendly :)) (she has a pretty cattt)

Also this her @dyk34u

Think about it ;)

Of course Dina knew what she was doing, she knew that your insta would call her attention.

Hell she knew you was her type. (and the bikini pics work wonders for her plan)

Without a thought Ellie moved in with you, no time to check the actual location before leaving her new York apartment and took off everything with her.

You didn’t knew her aside from that one pic Dina showed you from like three years ago, yet you trusted Dina with your life, you knew she wouldn’t let you get killed or robed.

Dina and her boyfriend came with Ellie to help with the unpacking, the two being the first ones to enter the "house"

Behind them, a woman mumbling obscenities about how small the house was and how actual of a shit hole this was and how she was tricked to live there.

she looked a bit taller than you, a bit muscular but skinny, freckles dusting all over her face and shoulders as she was wearing a wife pleaser, perky boobs that displayed against the white thin fabric of her shirt and some skinny jeans, however, the most important part.

A guitar case hanged in one of her shoulders.

Perfect.

When her eyes landed on you she shut her mouth.

"sorry, ummhh, I am Ellie, you must be…" she extended her hand to you and you took it while telling her your name.

that evening was rather uneventful. really just helping her unpacking and putting things away, it was your free day at your day job. Still… you were playing almost two shows every night.

You weren't the best at playing guitar, you and the girls were enduring these shows.

all of you looking for a new guitarist.

Holding auditions with pretentious shits or men denigrating your job for being "a bunch of dykes in a whiny band"

So, a few hours prior to going to your first gig of the night you took all of your courage to ask her.

"from one to ten, how good are you at playing? Guitar, i mean…" Ellie was sitting across from you, finishing to place the headboard.

Her sight puncturing to your face as soon as you asked that.

She took it a s a challenge, squint eyes eyeing you up and down, a small smirk glowing.

"oh I am shit, a two out of ten if you count one being a new born."

her hand grabbing for her guitar nearby, you laughed at her dry sarcasm, although your laugh was short lived as soon as she started to play.

veiny and tatted hands strumming and playing a jazz melody.

her fingers waltzing smoothly like she was just a breeze on top of the strings, making it look so easy.

her eyes connecting with yours, her face relaxed and a pretty shit eating grin all over her features.

She didn’t knew how you manage to convince her to go and watch you guys play, (only at the first pub of the night.) even though she had a test the next day seven am sharp.

She was in a trance as soon as you started to sing, lyrics soul puncturing and music enticing, easy to hear, hard not to take heartfelt.

The way you moved on stage, your body contorting and dancing, music guiding you like a puppet, she wanted to see you like this for ever, it was like a spell put on her, nothing else in her mind, clouded completely by you.

You.

She knew you would make it big.

you mention coming here to make your goals come true and she didn’t had a doubt you would make it.

I mean, Look at you! Everyone around you bewitched.

When the first gig ended Ellie couldn’t think of anything else, she needed to be there when you make it big, to be beside you.

"what'ya think?" you asked her out of breath, clothes tight on your body (she was looking at your tits) from all the sweat while you took your hair up.

The veins on you neck popping out, flush skin shimmering with sweat.

"can I kiss you?"

She wasn’t thinking at all, only you all over her, you.

your mind thought a hundred thoughts in less than a second, pros and cons and then landed on "we are in 2023 girl, a kiss is like a hug now a days" right? Like, this is only friendly and of course I wouldn’t make anything weird? Right?

Right…

So you took her by the hair and pressed your lips to hers.

Her strong hands groping your ass and yours moving to her waist to feel her closer, caressing the small of her back, open mouths and the taste of liquor from Ellie, clashed with the taste of cigarettes form you.

She sent you a message when she arrived to the apartment, after that…

You didn’t saw her when you arrived.

you didn’t saw her when she left.

when you left she wasn’t home already.

you didn’t saw her when you came back from day work.

So you went to the store, out of nowhere craving noodles to eat before you could sleep a bit and then go to play.

Certainly no to entertain your wondering mind, Ellie fogging all of it, like you where walking down an infinite path down Ellie lane.

The growing anxiety quivering in you head, what if she thought it was a mistake?

However, when you came back you saw Ellie sitting.

crossed legged on the living room.

guitar on.

and a bunch of papers scattered around her.

She was learning your songs…

let me know if you wanna be on the tag list

remember that my requests are open <3

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hllfireclb · 1 year

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Imagine Eddie catching you with your glasses on!!!

Why I am thinking about this? Because I wear glasses myself but I hate them sometimes. I don’t want to wear them outside but I have to because if I don’t I literally don’t see anything that far away. Funfact: when I‘ve met Grace, Joe, Gaten and Jamie at the GCC in December they said the loved my hair and glasses and that‘s the only reason I‘m ok with wearing them outside🥹🥹 Grace even took a picture of me because she said I looked cute and one day later we had the same hair cut💔

ANYWAY I imagining it like this:

You‘re never wearing your glasses outside. Never. If someone would see you with them you‘d dig your own grave because it would be so embarrassing for you. It just doesn’t fit into the whole "you“ concept. Always wearing black, looking like a Rockerchick, just matching with your boyfriend Eddie all the time. If you’d wear your glasses which have a slight golden frame, just to see what‘s written on the board, everyone would probably laugh at you. Not like you care what others think but you‘re afraid that your friends will laugh about it too. They love to tease you, so they‘d definitely tease you about you wearing glasses too.

The "Rockerchick" has to wear glasses, how funny.

And your biggest fear? Eddie finding out that you literally can’t see shit and he starts to make fun of you. Or even worse, what if he thinks you look stupid?

Eddie‘s probably the last person to judge someone because of their look. Especially if the other person is someone who’s important to him, and you definitely are. You know that but the fear of not being perfect for him is too big. So you just keep it your little secret.

One day you‘re lying in your bed, wearing nothing but one of Eddie’s tees and your panties since you’re home alone. A book lingers between your hands, you’re adjusting your glasses on top of you’re nose and you‘re about to turn to the next page when you hear a knock on your window. Mindlessly you turn your head to look at whoever decided to visit you in the middle of the night, completely forgetting that you had your glasses on. That’s until you see your boyfriend’s surprised face on the other side of the glass. Fuck.

It doesn’t take you a second to pull them off your face, throwing them somewhere into the bed before jumping out of it. You walk over to the window, letting your boyfriend climb inside before closing the curtains. "Eddie it’s literally 2am! Why are you here?" You look at him but he doesn’t respond. Instead he walks to your bed and picks up the "Accessoire" that was lingering on your nose just a few seconds ago.

You freeze. He definitely saw you wearing them, there‘s no way he didn’t. You were directly looking at him. Fuck fuck fuck.

"Are these…are these yours?" He looks up at you, still holding your glasses between his fingers,making eye contact which causes you to feel your cheeks burn like fire. His voice is calm, there‘s no judgement in it all only curiosity. A soft sigh escapes your lips and you slowly nod. "Why did you never tell me that you wear glasses Sweetheart?" He laughs softly and you can see how he lifts his hands up to his face, before putting your visual aid on his own nose, testing if he‘s able to see through them like a curious child. Now you‘re the one who‘s laughing softly, answering with a soft nod only.

He puts them down again as he walks over to you before he puts your glasses back on your face, a soft smile forms on his lips while doing so. "You look adorable with them y/n" his voice is barely above a whisper. "You think so?" You whisper back at him, your eyes closed because of how embarrassed you feel. He nods yes "Hell yeah. Even though they also look badass on you" he grins as he places a soft kiss on top of your nose, causing another chuckle to escapes your lips.

Turns out Eddie loves your glasses. He thinks they fit you so goddamn good and they make you look even smarter than you already are. He steals them every now and then to wear them, just to see your precious reaction. Every time he comes over he makes you wear them so your poor eyes can relax a bit.

Yeah, Eddie just loves you so much it‘s unbelievable.

Masterlist

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things 4 #joseph quinn #eddie one shot #eddie oneshot #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson st4 #eddie munson fanfic #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x fem #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson boyfriend #eddie munson x you #eddie my beloved

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cripplecharacters · 13 days

Note

Hello! Sorry this is going to be a long ask.

I'm writing a cast of four characters, all of whom have some form of disability and I'd like your input, especially since a few of them fall into tropes I've seen talked about on the blog.

I have autism, ADHD, and chronic joint pain that is undiagnosed but probably related to hypermobility. All of them have ADHD and autism but I'm not going to talk about that at length for any of them because I'm pretty comfortable with writing them.

Dispite the amount of disabled characters I have and the questions I have about how to portray them, this is not a story about disability or the disabled experience, but I do want to showcase my disabled characters in a nuanced way that highlights that their disability is not separable from them.

This is also for a fanfiction, and the source has some trouble with how it portrays disability (evil character with an eye patch, bionics that completely negate the disability) and I'm trying to figure out what I can modify and what I need to just throw out.

I'll go in alphabetical order and talk about them and the tropes I'm worried about falling into/what I want advice on.

Autumn (he/they)

He has ADHD, autism, classical EDS, is mildly HoH (about 20-30 decibels less than normal range), and has three fingers on his right hand due to an injury. They use a variety of mobility aids throughout the story, starting with only occasionally using a cane and ending with using forearm crutches on good days and a wheelchair on bad days.

The tropes/things I'm concerned about with them are the “good” wheelchair user, the noble dead disabled character, and finger prosthetics

The "pure/good" wheelchair user trope I'm partially concerned about because he becomes the moral core of the cast as time goes on and he gets more disabled. He doesn't become a better person, really, but everyone else gets Worse. He's still snarky and can be selfish and jaded at times, but I feel like it's harder to demonstrate that at the end.

Being the most honest and least willing to capitulate to doing terrible things leads to his execution, which is a turning point and a point of no return. I feel like this ties into a trope of the disabled character dying first, especially since he's the one who's using disability aids/is most explicitly disabled.

I've seen the posts about why finger prosthetics aren't useful/common, but I was thinking that he'd start off with canon-typical bionic fingers before eventually realizing that he doesn't need them and it's more hassle to put them on and off than it is to just not have them. Is this an okay use of finger prosthetics since it's kind of grappling with the trope itself? Or would it be better for him not to have them in the first place?

Right now I have it so Autumn’s sister Summer died and he named himself in her honor when he transitioned. That's pretty immutable at this point. However, right now I have her as d/Deaf, with much more profound hearing loss than Autumn. (Which is also why he knows ASL) Does this fall into a disabled dead character issue?

Chauncey (he/him)

Chauncey has ADHD, autism, burn scars, chronic pain (unspecified, based on my own experiences) and dyscalculia.

Chauncey's the one I'm frankly least concerned about any specific tropes. There are only one or two concerns I have with him:

As an author, it's important to know what disability a character has even if they don't know. I know in your FAQ you say “I'm disabled is it okay to x” is generally okay, but do you think I should have a more specific disability in mind that matches my symptoms or can I keep it no specificity?

He's a clone who was rapidly aged and I wasn't sure how to figure out if/how that might affect his dyscalculia since it's not exactly a situation that happens in real life but that's about it.

Morticia (she/her)

She's my protagonist. She has autism, ADHD, a visual impairment in the form of a missing eye, and visible scarring on her face.

She's heavily based on the canon character who was an “evil eyepatch” guy. I changed it so she actually has issues with said eye and made her less evil during the period of time she uses it but I'm not sure if I should just ditch the eyepatch all together.

She starts with a bionic eye (it's not perfect, but she can see out of it to some extent). Then she gets into some sci-fi bullshit and starts piloting around a robot telepathically, but her signals get crossed with her bionic eye, so she covers it with an eyepatch while she's piloting the robot. She does use this scheme to commit 28 murders, but the murders are kind of justified by the plot? She's really written as doing some ehh things for what she believes is right. I definitely wouldn't write the eyepatch that way if it wasn't in the source, but it was like the way to identify her character in the source, so it feels weird to not have it at all.

After that, she gets arrested, gets her bionic taken, and gets a prosthetic to keep appearances and hold the shape. Stuff happens, and she gets another bionic with some more visual info that is sometimes too much for her. She gets a lot worse than when she had the eye patch, but she does still have a noticeable eye difference. Her later bionic is totally customizable and she normally keeps it a glowing gold.

I have questions about her facial scarring because she uses it to play on people's perceptions. When she's campaigning and trying to look innocent and kind, she covers it as much as she can. However, when she feels like she is in control and can do whatever she wants without consequences, she doesn't bother or even chooses to try to cover her freckles but avoid her scars because she thinks they make her more intimidating. This results in her having her scarring visible during scenes where she's being "evil" but not when she's being "good." Is that okay? It feels like it's playing into the "villain with scars" but since she as a character is doing that, it feels less like the story itself is doing it (especially since Chauncey has similar or slightly more prominent scarring and doesn't do similar things), but I'm unsure.

She is evil, and disabled, but I don't want her to be an evil disabled character. I try to associate her covering up her scarring more with masking/trying to fit in than with her being “good” but I'm not sure if it comes off that way.

Mortimer (he/him)

ADHD, autism, and limb difference (upper arm amputee)

Mortimer is probably the character I'm most worried about with my disability rep (shocking considering the five huge paragraphs I just wrote about Morticia). He's the trope of “amputee that fixes his own prosthetics/tinkers on himself.” He also makes Autumn and Morti’s aids (at least until the arrest). He also kind of falls into an autistic savant but I'm less worried about how to navigate that since I'm very familiar with the autistic community, am autistic, and have other autistic characters.

I'm worried that if I make the prosthetics he makes not “cybernetic fix-all” it'll defeat some of what I'm trying to do with making him just as good as inventors who have done that in canon. I don't know how to retcon that canon without using an author's note, which feels disjointed and I want to avoid it.

To try to work with this and not ignore the fact he's disabled, I show the prosthetics needing maintenance and try to show them sometimes being uncomfortable or heavy.

However, this leads into my second problem with how I'm handling his disability. His character arc causes him to go from being the nicest one in the cast who is very meticulous but can sometimes have a temper, to becoming reckless, rude, and seemingly uncaring.

As he becomes more reckless and less willing to care for himself, he stops doing some of the necessary maintenance on his prosthetic, causing it to break more often and rust. I'm worried this looks like I'm tying his disability getting “worse” with his morality, since he also stops caring for others as much when he stops caring for himself.

I'm also not sure if it is okay for him to paint his bionic arm to try to look like a flesh arm, since he was a criminal and he was trying to make himself look less identifiable at a glance. And if it is, when he stops doing his maintenance on it, it makes sense for the paint to chip, but that would strengthen the association of him being more visibly disabled as he becomes meaner and harsher. I'm not sure if having Autumn bring the only one who's personality remains more or less the same while becoming more visibly disabled balences this out a little bit or if it's a point of having two tropes at the same time doesn't make either better. (If Autumn is a “good wheelchair user”)

Questions involving more than one character:

Autumn knows some ASL. Mortimer is an unrealistic character that knows far more than any one person can know, and he knows basically any language as far as the story is concerned. Autumn teaches Morti a little ASL, as well. Since Autumn can understand most conversation, they generally use it instead of whispering rather than in normal conversation. Is that an acceptable use of ASL?

Currently all of my visible facial and limb differences are due to injury. I have extremely few other characters with any prominence or description at all, certainly to the extent where it would be reasonable to know if someone has a difference due to injury or birth. Do I change/add something to these four so it's less All Injuries?

I mentioned before Mortimer and Morticia trying to hide their differences for different reasons. I don't really want to go into any sense of shame they have over it, just them hiding for practical purposes. If it's not appropriate to hide them for practical purposes, do I have people react as if they had hidden them or is that erasure? (e.g. Mortimer doesn't paint his arm and it's visibly mechanical. Is that something the police are looking to identify him by or do I ignore it? It feels weird to ignore it, but if it's causing problems for the characters it feels like a reasonable reaction would be to try to blend in, but is trying to blend in/hiding their disability just heightening the sense that disabled people need to hide?)

I'm so sorry I wrote an Entire Essay I promise I tried to be concise but I have a lot of questions about the tropes I fear I'm hitting and whether I'm missing anything trying to portray the disabilities I don't have

Hi!

I will answer only some of your questions because I don't have enough experience with a lot of the subject matter here. I'd recommend looking at this post some time after it's published to see if maybe a follower had an answer/suggestion for you.

Now for the questions I'm able to answer:

For Chauncey;

It's 100% okay to base it on your own experience. At times disabilities are mysterious and unspecific, that's just how it sometimes is. The problem with this that appears from abled authors is that the symptoms or treatments just often don't make sense, because they have no clue what they're doing; confusing basic terms, making weird conclusions...

But you are a person with lived experience. You understand how your symptoms work and how you manage it from the best - first person - point of view. If someone is well-equipped to write a character with your disability, it's you.

For Morticia (cool name BTW);

As of the bionic eye; as far as I'm aware they don't really exist yet, but this is a sci-fi scenario so it's a bit different. (If you want to hear about the currently real options, here's a post that could interest you).

I'm slightly puzzled by her eyepatch fixing the signal issues; I would've assumed that it would transmit things either way (?) because with an eyepatch she would still see, just the inside of the patch and not the usual stuff. But my cluelessness here might be my fault by the fact that I'm not familiar with the source material. But if it's meant for a general (non-fandom) audience, I think it would be great if you could elaborate on the science here!

With the later eyes she gets, I advise you to keep her visually impaired even if her vision improves somewhat. It shouldn't be a cure. You potentially could think of it like hearing aids, where they can be more or less helpful, but are often more annoying than anything else and aren't fully "restoring" the sense by any means. Maybe her bionic eye has static, or weird spots, or causes double vision.

Now for the "hmm" part...

"When she's campaigning and trying to look innocent and kind, she covers it as much as she can. However, when she feels like she is in control and can do whatever she wants without consequences, she doesn't bother or even chooses to try to cover her freckles but avoid her scars because she thinks they make her more intimidating."

Please, please, please don't do this. To answer your question; not okay.

I have written a post somewhat about this kind of thing. I really dislike playing with ableism in this way. Portraying scars as "intimidating" on an already dicey character... just no.

To pull this off in a way that's not offensive, you would have to research disfiguremisia in and out. It would need active commentary and a lot of teaching-the-reader-why-this-is-bad, and if you have to ask if it's okay, then you just aren't ready for it. And that's fine! You don't have to write a scenario based on heavy disfiguremisia, so don't. Remember, it's not her acting a certain way, it's you writing her to act a certain way.

I don't want you to take this personally, but please just don't write this. Not like this, at least.

For the "fitting in" part, I addressed it in the post linked above; I don't think that I have anything to add that wasn't included there.

For Mortimer, the best I can do right now is give you a bunch of links that will hopefully be helpful to you. This is just way beyond my answering capabilities and we don't have any mods who are amputees at the moment, so you're at the mercy of follower input for the most part. But;

Post of posts about arm prosthetics

Our general amputee tag

@cy-cyborg 's account, xe posts great writing advice, often regarding prosthetics. I believe that ze accepts asks as well.

For the rest of the questions;

"Currently all of my visible facial and limb differences are due to injury [...] Do I change/add something to these four so it's less All Injuries?

I would say yes! Some of the tropes that you're working if are Not Great, so adding a few additional characters that don't fall into them will help a lot. Try having some characters with similar disabilities that don't tick the issue-causing boxes. Throw someone with a facial difference that doesn't commit any kind of mass murder in there.

"I mentioned before Mortimer and Morticia trying to hide their differences for different reasons. [...] If it's not appropriate to hide them for practical purposes, do I have people react as if they had hidden them or is that erasure?"

In real life they would probably be recognized by it, though I need to say that there is absolutely a part of the population who just Doesn't Notice. People can absolutely be oblivious, especially if the lack of limb is hidden by clothes. Particularly if there are a lot of things going on.

That said, if whoever seen them has noticed, then they would look for that. That's just the logical outcome. But I don't think an eyepatch helps much to hide the actual disability, they would still assume that the person with a bionic eye and the eyepatch-wearing person are probably the same.

You can potentially avoid it by making a large chunk of the population disabled, lol. "Girl without an eye" isn't very helpful information to hunt someone by when there's dozens of people with that description in the city.

For the end, I'm sorry that some parts of it might have come off as Not the Most Encouraging (the Morticia part...), please remember that I'm just criticizing the tropes and implications. I can kind of tell that whatever the source material is, it is way worse about its treatment of disability/facial difference, so I would consider it an improvement nonetheless. Still, it could be better. I hope that the above links and answers will help you with your project.

If any followers are familiar with the topics discussed here, you can leave a reply or reblog with your suggestions. Remember to be constructive.

I hope this helps!

Mod Sasza

Hey! Mod Patch hopping in here to talk a bit about Autumn. I think that you’re aware of the tropes this could fall into is a good first step.

First of all, you mention Autumn is missing some fingers and has classical EDS. Both of these could make using a manual wheelchair more difficult. Is the wheelchair in question manual? If it is perhaps consider adding a power assist (perhaps like a fantasy version of a smart drive.

I’m not too concerned about him being “pure” because you mention that they are 1) working with other “immoral” folks. My suggestion would be to try and lean into the selfish and jaded parts of the character. Show his motivations aren't exclusively disability-related. I am a bit concerned about his execution. I understand that you might not be able to change that plot point but can you have other characters who use mobility aids and survive longer? They don’t have to be as major in the story.

mod Patch

#mod sasza #face difference #long post #writing reference #writing advice #mod patch #wheelchairs #tropes #mysterious disability

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imgeekgirlfan · 11 days

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I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Pairings: Astarion x Original Female Character(Named Tav) [From Baldur's Gate 3]

Tag/Warnings : Canon Compliant, Post-Endgame, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Tragedy, Mentions of past abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, References to Depression, Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Synopsis : Astarion returned to the city of Baldur's Gate, following the final request of his beloved, who asked him to bury her next to his grave. As dawn approached, Astarion held the lifeless body of his love, reminiscing about the countless memories they shared together.

A/N : The story started when I came across this tweet: 'do you guys think your tavs/durges stayed with their love interest long term or not?'

I got the idea to tell the story of my Tav and her love interest, Astarion. What would happen to them after the end of Baldur's Gate 3? I've been thinking about it a lot and it's quite heartbreaking.

From these little headcanons, I developed this one-shot about them.

My Tav is a human bard with a noble background. So, I imagined her as the daughter of a noble Baldurian,which contrasts with Astarion's background. Their initial relationship was more of a adversaries before blossoming into love in the end.

Listening to the song "I Will Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie gave me a lot of inspiration for this couple. (At first, I wanted to use the song "Take Me To Church" as the title, but it's too popular. I thought a song that many might not have heard of would be fitting for this tale.)

Read in Ao3 : here

"Jones," Astarion whispered, calling his beloved, but she didn't respond.

Her eyes closed tightly, her body growing colder with each passing moment.

Astarion pulled her closer, hoping his slight warmth might warm her. He knew it wouldn't help, and she would never wake to look into his eyes again.

Human lives are fleeting, from young maiden to old crone, from crone to spirit.

Her entire life was a blink of an eye compared to his cursed immortality.

Once, Astarion had both disdain and curiosity about this human. A race so fragile and feeble, never wielding a sword to harm anyone, raised in a noble family, spending half a comfortable lifetime in a grand mansion in Baldur’s Gate, surrounded by obedient servants bowing to her every whim.

He couldn't make sense of her. For a vampire like him who had struggled to survive amidst enemies and a cruel world for centuries. He was nothing but a bloodthirsty creature, a servant under a master's foot who got treated worse than a common slave, struggling to sustain his life with the taste of filthy rat blood that almost made him vomit.

Astarion envies her for an ideal life in the gilded cage he could only dream of. envied the short-lived human existence. While he had no right to die willingly if his evil master didn't want him to die,

And he wondered why she had fled her high-life in the capital city of Baldur’s Gate to suffer with them. why someone so inept at fighting would risk her life battling monsters, from goblins and evil undead to even gods, to aid them and help everyone unrelated to her.

He thought Jones was foolish, and he didn't like fools.

Ironically, eighty years later, he found himself shedding tears at her death.

"I wish to be buried beside your grave, Star." That was one of her last wishes before she breathed her last in his embrace. This led Astarion to make the singular decision to step out of the Underdark and return to Baldur’s Gate, the city where he once hated heavily, to fulfill the last wish of his beloved.

The black sky began to turn deep blue. Astarion knew he should hurry to bury Jones properly before the sunrise. As he contemplated, his eyes caught withered flowers left on the ground near his own grave marker. For a brief moment, Astarion reminisced about the memories he shared with her. He had once brought Jones to his own grave, recounting his life before turning into a vampire. and then visualizing a future where he wished to live with her,as his past had died over two centuries ago and she was the only future he desired.

Astarion remembered his overwhelming fear that Jones might refuse him. She was the highborn daughter of Baldur’s Gate's noble families. Why would she choose to endure the hardships of life with an elf vampire like him?

Yet his fear vanished instantly when he saw the soft smile on her smooth face. She placed flowers on his grave and embraced him, accepting his love wholeheartedly.

That night was the night he died and was reborn in her embrace. Not as the enslaved Astarion, not as the villainous Astarion, but as Astarion the redeemed, never to be alone again because he would have her by his side forever.

But the words 'forever' don't really exist, especially for humans and vampires.

Still, Astarion couldn't help but secretly hope.

Sometimes, darker thoughts overshadow his mind, eclipsing all the goodness he has left. Astarion often secretly pondered that if he chose the path of power, performed an ancient ritual to sacrifice seven thousand souls to a devil, and transformed himself into a vampire ascendant, he would have enough strength to walk in the sunlight with her and enough power to turn her into a vampire like him. Then they could live together forever without the fear of death taking her away.

But it was Jones who restrained him then. She persuaded Astarion to see that these powers offered him nothing but the dark legacy of the Vampire Master, an inheritance of wickedness that would never end. She told him he could be better than Cazador, his former master, and he didn't have to continue killing others to sustain his existence anymore.

Astarion trusted her, though he couldn't deny feeling deeply regretful. And Jones sensed his feelings. She gently grasped his cold hands and earnestly vowed, "Star, I will find a way to cure you of vampirism, so you can walk under the sunlight with me again."

And she kept her promise. After successfully helping Baldur’s Gate city fend off the threats of the Mind Flayers and Nether Brain, she and him began a new adventure together. They journeyed across the entire continent of Faerûn, from Waterdeep to Athkatla, Neverwinter, Luskan, and even the mysterious realm of Feywild, all in pursuit of finding a cure for him.

Those times were special, building strong bonds and beautiful memories between them. They laughed together, danced together, fought together, and held each other close under vast skies and twinkling stars as witnesses.

Until Jones began to age and couldn’t continue the journey. That was when they both realized how little time they had left. And no matter how much time and effort they put in, there was no way to find a cure for him anymore.

Facing the harsh reality was incredibly difficult. Astarion had to hide his deep sorrow while he tried to persuade her to stop the adventure and live out her remaining days in the Underdark, the dark and sunless realm, the only place where he could be with her.

He knew what the near future held. Nothing would hurt as much as watching his beloved age continuously, waiting for her time to pass while he remained unchanged.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you as I promised. Please forgive me," she said during their time in Underdark. Her bright blue eyes, the very eyes he fell in love with, overflowed with guilt.

Astarion wanted her to know that he could never be angry or hate her.

The shovel still lay untouched on the ground, with no sign of being used anytime soon. While the vampire elf sat silently in front of his own grave marker, letting old memories flow through his mind once more,. Both his arms cradled her lifeless body as if she were still alive.

"My beloved Star, please continue to live on for me. I wish to see you happy for a long time," another of her last requests echoed in his mind. The gentle touch of her frail hand on his cheek still lingers in his heart to this day.

"Jones." Astarion whispers her name again. Tears, which he had not shed for a long time, now streamed down his pale face. "I can't do it," he murmured to her lifeless body. "How can I find happiness without you?"

A golden beam slowly crept in, chasing away the darkness from the vast sky. Yet Astarion's body remained unmoving, just like the eyes of the vampire, which refused to leave the withered face of his beloved for a second. He memorized every detail of her, keeping it in his memory as best as he could. She still looked as beautiful as ever in his eyes—always and forever.

"I wish the next life was real. I hope we'll meet again, live together, and build a family," Astarion whispered softly, planting a tender kiss on the edge of her lips. "Wait for me, darling. I'll follow you soon, no matter where you choose to go."

Finally, he tore his gaze away from her, looking up at the sky once more. For the first time in centuries, he had the chance to gaze at the nearing dawn with full eyes. As the sun peeked over the horizon, followed by the warm rays starting to seep through his skin, cracks began to form, turning his skin into tiny specks of dust.

Before his final consciousness faded, Astarion's thoughts remained vivid.

This was the most beautiful dawn he had ever witnessed.

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minecraftbookshelf · 10 months

Text

Marriage of State AU Character Designs: The Ocean Queen

Lizzie has two primary character designs for this au, which I currently refer to as Pre-Plot Event and Post-Plot Event, or Tall Lizzie and Taller Lizzie.

Pre-Plot Event/Tall Lizzie is already very clearly The Blue Axolotl, but other than being blue and a bit on the larger side there really isn't anything to distinguish her from the average axolotl hybrid.

In this form she is just barely over seven and a half feet tall, [Relevant Height Chart] so she is still the tallest of the emperors, though if Xornoth thinks tall thoughts and you count their antlers then the two of them are about the same height.

(side note that axolotls are bottom-dwellers, in that in the wild irl they live in the mud at the bottom of their native lake in Mexico. Minecraft axolotls have a wider range, but they still live primarily deep underwater or in caves. All of this is to say, Axolotls do not have great eyesight and primarily navigate by smell. Lizzie, not being only an axolotl, isn't blind but she is definitely near-sighted. She refuses any kind of corrective lenses.)

Lizzie does have three frills on each side of her head, the lowest just at the hinge of her jaw and the others going up behind her ears, these are her gills. (Axolotls have both gills and lungs, but most if not all aquatic hybrids have both gills and lungs, regardless of the nature of their non-hybrid counterparts, with the obvious exceptions of dolphin hybrids and other similar species where they don't have gills at all) The "stalk" part of each frill is blue and the frilly parts are more brown in color.

She has claws and some minimal webbing on her toes and fingers (axolotls don't have a whole lot of that) And also lots of very, very sharp teeth. She does also have a tail.

Post-Plot Lizzie/Taller Lizzie is Ten Foot Tall Lizzie, the blue outline on the height chart. She gets a growth spurt and is just a little bit less humanoid and a little bit more axolotl-oid. Her eyes are completely black after this (and her eyesight has gotten just a little bit worse and her sense of smell better) Her proportions are just the slightest bit...off now too (operating from a humanoid baseline). Her mouth opens just a bit too wide, she has just a few too many teeth, her limbs aren't set quite right and aren't quite the right length. Her tail is much more prominent in this form as well, having gone from basically a steering (in the water) aide to capable of propelling her through the water with a single stroke.

This is also where the fact that The Blue Axolotl is a divine title and not just a description becomes much more obvious.

Costuming!

We have two "oceanic" skins from canon to look at.

The wedding dress and The Blue Axolotl look.

My general take away from these is "high-low hemlines" and "off the shoulder" with a side of *squinting in 'empire waist???'*

When considering what visual effects I wanted for Lizzie in particular the primary consideration was what would underwater royalty look like and why?

And I came away with a combination of "threat display" and "ecosystem"

All of which boiled down comes to a concept of oceanic royal style is made up of easily removable layers.

On the outside you are going to have something thin and billowy, probably with lightly weighted hems so it swirls well. Something that will flow around the individual in question and give them a shifting, flaring silhouette.

Something like these designs from Hassidriss Coture collections

(pls note this isn't "this exactly" this is about the vibes)

This one from the ss19 collection

and then this piece called Lucid Dream from the ss20 collection.

Very high fantasy vibes specifically of the thin, translucent layers variety.

The key to these thin, translucent layers is that they can be shed in an instant. Because there are going to be lots of situations in which the royal in question has to move quickly, and lots of fabric creates lots of drag. So the long flowy skirts and capes and arm-pieces can be shucked off in seconds and left behind, leaving a much more fitted under-layer.

A lot of these outfits also wouldn't transition well from underwater to over-water, at least without a lot of very specific enchantments (which are a possibility) so its highly likely that for a lot of occasions Lizzie would actually have two outfits made to be very similar, one for underwater and one to change into once she is on land and needs to make a grand entrance without looking like a bedraggled piece of seaweed.

There is also a lot of jewelry and sleeves and accessories made out of lightweight beadwork crafted from shells and such that floats just enough to look cool, as well as heavier pieces more similar to dryland accessories. Beads and shells and strings in hair are also common, usually styled in a way to help keep it out of the face, even when underwater. (Lizzie's space buns are part of this sort of hairstyle.)

EDIT: I completely forgot to mention that Lizzie usually is carrying a trident, both as a ceremonial thing and also as her weapon of choice. It is decorated with bits of prismarine, both charm-style and as inlay, with the glactic enchantment runes engraved in lapis and mother of pearl.

EDIT 2: Lizzie has lightweight netherite plate armor inlaid with prismarine

Official Art!

Jimmy || Joel ||

AU Masterpost

#ldshadowlady #empires smp #empires s1 #rain rambles #marriage of state au character designs #marriage of state au #mos: lizzie

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 8 months

Note

You’ve mentioned how boring the Avatar movies are despite how visually stunning they can be (I can’t help but agree.) How would you rewrite it to be a more interesting?

Can't be done and not for the reasons you're probably thinking.

The Thing about James Cameron

To get into this, we have to talk about James Cameron as a director.

Now, I say this being a large fan of The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day, as well as generally liking Aliens and Abyss.

But generally, the focus of James Cameron's films is not the story or the writing: it's a new cutting-edge technology he wants to develop and try out and or a particular setting. The story is presented as an excuse to do these things and is paper thin at best.

The focus of Titanic was the ship itself, the exact timing of its sinking, seeing all of the ship (both upstairs and downstairs) both before and after the sinking, and to aid that along we get this story of Jack and Rose where they run around the ship like lunatics so we can see everything.

Abyss, similarly, is exploring the concept of a setting at depth and the technology needed to produce such a film.

Now, what also ties into this, is that Cameron has a few tropes he really really really likes in films that aren't that... deep I guess I'd call them. Generally, in any Cameron film, you can count at least one (usually more) of the following:

US Marines (Good or Bad or Both)

Evil Corporations/Evil Rich People

A Surprisingly (!) Good Scientist/Science/Robot People

An Uncomplicated Action Hero/Heroine

An Uncomplicated Love Story

In the case of the Avatar series, Cameron had thought up this fictitious world Pandora, the native people there the Nav'i, and wanted to push both CGI as well as 3D to the limit (notable is that Cameron did 3D for these films in a way films generally don't, in that he did actual 3D where most '3D' films just have two cameras for stereo. This is why Cameron's 3D looks so fucking good and is actually worth seeing in theaters versus other 3D films which are eeeeeeh watch it at home). And, as usual, what we see is a story written in such a way to show off the setting, the made-up culture of the Nav'i, and the technology used to produce the film rather than the story in and of itself.

So, in the first film, we get a story that hits all the usual marks for Cameron. Through Jake's adventure, we get to explore Pandora and see all the things Cameron really wants to show off to us, we also get all the tropes Cameron usually loves: an uncomplicated love story, evil corporations, US Marines, surprisingly good scientists who seem bad at first but then are misguided, and a dumb uncomplicated hero.

In this case, it's just the plot of Dances with Wolves (almost to a tee) but uh... more blue.

(The second film is even worse in this respect, as well as just as a film, as Cameron now wants to show a new part of Pandora, the ocean but uh... has no reason for the characters to be there so has to make something up that doesn't make much sense or give the characters much to do.)

The trouble is where this works for Cameron in other films (Terminator and Terminator 2 were great in that they didn't need to be complicated, the setting and special effects provided what we needed for great films), in Avatar we're hampered by a plotline that has both aged and that we've seen before, and by a script that's... just not good.

But the point I was trying to make is that Avatar would not exist without Cameron. This isn't a case where you hire a new director, new screenwriter, new anything, this is Cameron's vision and there's really not much wiggle room in that without dumping out everything Cameron wanted.

The best someone could do is rewrite the script to make the lines more catchy/memorable/quotable without changing the plot.

(Caveat, again, I think Cameron is great when he's great. What he does well he does very well, and he has made some fantastic as well as very entertaining movies. However, sometimes, it just doesn't work out.)

Back to the Question

So, to 'fix' Avatar you have to have a script Cameron would like, one that shows of Pandora in the way he wants, and with the uncomplicated characters he generally likes.

Trouble is, that is Avatar. I can think of no way to produce what Cameron would have wanted beyond what Cameron himself did. He was involved in every step of that movie and it shows.

And again, to make it better or different is to make something that never would have happened as, well, it's not Cameron.

Long story short, you can't have Avatar without Blue Pocahontas in Space.

#avatar #avatar meta #james cameron #anti james cameron #meta #opinion

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simemeoww · 7 months

Text

A small price for your big mistake

Summary: You escaped, but Mateo caught you anyway. All that remains is to reap the consequences of your actions. Mateo acts here out of character, getting violent, so if you don't like this kind of stuff dont read this.

Author's note: This is based from my character Mateo, who happens to be a yandere. I made a visual novel where he is one of the main characters. If you wanna play my game(to what i will be really happy) here is the link: https://simemeow.itch.io/love-stuck

“Mateo, please let me go! No, enough! Stop-” you screamed. However, all your resistance was in vain, because he was much stronger than you. He, sparing no effort, pulled you by your hair, it seemed to you that with his powerful hands, he would very soon tear your head off. “I will never run away again! Sorry! It was a stupid mistake!” - you screamed again with all your might. Mateo did not respond to your sobs, he still coldly dragged you along to the kitchen. His absolute silence was very oppressive, it drove you crazy, maybe you would have preferred it if he shouted something back to you, because behind his silence there was something terrifying and you understood it very well.

Sobbing, you could barely squeeze out the next words that were so important to you. "Are you going to kill me?" - you asked him with palpable scariness. You tried to look at his expression, but with the way he was pulling you by your hair, it was impossible. This time he decided not to let your screams go unnoticed. “No, but after this, you would prefer that I just end your life,” he replied dryly.

Mateo forced you to stand up so you wouldn't run away from him, he wrapped his arm around you, hugging your body tightly. Immediately, he pulled out the first aid kit and pulled out a syringe. Your kicking made his task a little more harder, it was difficult to work with only one hand while the other was busy holding you up. However, he poured a strange purple liquid into the syringe and brought it closer to your neck. “This is for your own good, don’t resist. Otherwise it will only get worse,” Mateo warned. A thin needle entered the delicate skin of your neck, and you felt the liquid begin to spread within you. Immediately after this, an unpleasant pulsation began in your temples, and the kitchen surrounding you seemed to float. The injection was fast-acting, so very soon you fainted.

……

You woke up already from a buzzing headache and under the guise of Mateo bandaging you. Even a small movement was an impossible task for you. “Oh, are you already awake ?” - Mateo asked kindly. He was no longer cold, but instead in his usual caring state. “You may feel discomfort for some time, so I will give you painkillers so that you quickly get used to the new changes,” he replied. "What? What changes? - you barely asked.

“Hmm, here,” he took a pocket mirror and walked away a few steps so that you could see the full picture. Your still unfocused gaze could not take a closer look at this small mirror, much less see your own reflection there. Therefore, you instinctively reached out to the mirror to take it and see your new “look” with your own hands, but when you raised your elbows, you noticed that you were missing both hands. You were horrified and screamed. You wanted to get up and run towards Mateo to give him a couple of blows, but you couldn’t get up either. Slowly letting go of your gaze, you saw that you didn’t have legs either.

Your screams became even louder, and at the same time tears began to flow from your eyes. “Oh, honey, don’t cry! Are you hurt? Don’t worry, it won’t be long,” Mateo began to console you. “This is just your punishment for trying to escape. Now you definitely won’t run away from me, and I can still love you, without fear that you will leave me alone one day. Am I wrong?" - he asked the question rhetorically.

He was right, after this action, you would really rather die. However, now for you it is a luxury that you will never have. After all, he will really love you until the end of your and his life, he will never get tired of it.

#lovestuck #lovestuck mateo #lovestuck loren #male yandere #soft yandere #tw yandere #visual novel #yandere boyfriend #yandere male #yandere oc #yandere visual novel #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere

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rogue-durin-16 · 2 years

Text

HE WOULD HAVE

Request: could you maybe do an angst fic for eddie? idk just some fighting because he’s jealous. but honestly everything will be great, i love your writing

Summary: Eddie can't stand how close Y/n and Steve have become, mainly because he knows he can't compete with the latter. Not knowing how to handle himself, Eddie pours his heart out in the most inappropriate moment.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Requested by: anon

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @comfort-reads

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, blood, wounds

A/N: this is way longer than I expected. I love how I exclusively get angsty requests. Good to know everyone's aware of my incapability to write anything happy lmaoooo. Anyway, thanks for the request lovely anon, enjoy<3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

"Woah... Woah woah— wait! Hold up!" I frowned at the compass, my hand raising in order to give a visual aid to my order.

Robin and Eddie didn't miss a beat before halting their oars, turning around to check on me. Nancy and Steve were already peaking at the gadget over my shoulders, as confused as I was.

"It's... Here?" Nancy questioned, more than declared, shifting her position to lean out of the boat, staring into the darkness of Lover's Lake.

"Can't be." Steve shook his head in the negative, scooting closer from behind in order to take the compass from my hand.

"No, actually, it could." my upper body rotated to meet Steve's eyes, my fingernail tapping on the edge of the boat. "Underwater. Eddie?" I'm called out, switching both my attention and my line of vision toy long haired friend. "Where did Patrick..." My question died in my throat at the sight of the boy's eyes digging holes into Steve. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's great, Y/n. I'm having the time of my life." He quipped, briefly meeting my eyes, just to look away as soon as I parted my lips. "Patrick died here, if that's what your question." he killed two birds with one stone, taking the chance to both reply to my unasked inquiry and to refrain my response to his comment.

"So" Robin cleared her throat, eyes rapidly shifting from my form to Eddie's, to Steve's and then to Nancy's. "It's underwater, right? Right" she pointed animatedly below us. "Here."

"Has to be." Nancy's absentminded attitude switched fast as lightning right as I felt movement behind me. "Steve, what are you doing?"

"Someone's gotta go down there. Check this thing out." I looked over my shoulder to see the boy taking off his shoes and socks.

"No." I denied, reaching out to hold him down by his forearm, stopping him from standing up. "Why's it always gotta be you?"

"Well, unless any of you can top being Hawkins High swim team co-captain—"

"Was I not the other co-captain, Harrington?" My whine earned me a groan from Steve.

"Yeah, but you're not a certified lifeguard, are you?" The boy reasoned, lightly slapping my hand away from his arm.

I resigned myself, sharing a concerned look with Nancy, and proceeded to abandon the thwart in order to give them both some space cramped boat, which left me kneeling in front of both Robin and Eddie. The younger girl took a sudden interest in the walkie as soon as I searched for the metalhead's face.

"How are you holding up?" He shrugged, his hands turning fidgety with his rings while he so obviously refused to meet my gaze, or even communicate with me.

I knew it wasn't the time to confront him about the attitude —we had other priorities, and pressing him into talking to me around people he barely trusted would be fruitless—; yet, it had been an ongoing problem since we found him in back that shack, getting worse and worse.

I sighed in defeat, pursing my lips in a tight line before going back to my previous place; this time, only Nancy sat by my side, eyes glued on her wristwatch while we waited for Steve to return.

EDDIE'S P. O. V.

"How long?" Robin's words broke an ominous silence that could have lasted anything from twenty seconds to two hours.

"Closing in on a minute." Wheeler finally peeled her eyes from the damn watch, looking around with visible worry.

"Okay, that's it." We three turned in shock to Y/n, ever the impatient one, who was already discarding her shoes.

"Woah— nonononono." My heart stammered against my chest, hands in the air, prompting Y/n to stay sat, something she obviously didn't do.

"'nonononono' what?" She spat, getting rid of her jacket. "You want him to drown?"

"Y/n. stay in the fucking boat." Though I attempted to sound assertive, it most likely came off as a plea.

A frown darkened her gaze, her movements coming to a halt for a millisecond. "Nance?" She called, not averting her sorry eyes from me.

"One minute and twenty seconds." The girl announcement cued a deafening silence, charged with anticipation.

Y/n's sweater landed on my lap, making me shoot up to take a firm grasp of her wrist, and earning a wave of complaints from the girls in the boat due to the wobbling caused by my impromptu movements.

"Guys, stop!"

"Eddie sit down!"

"Let go of my wrist!"

"I'm not letting you jump in there!"

A loud splash at my right tore a collective shriek out of us four, immediately ceasing the ruckus.

"What's going on in here?" A breathless Harrington found himself hanging on the side of the boat after a couple of strokes, curious eyes observing both Y/n and me, quickly putting two and two together. "Sit down, Jesus Christ." The fact that Y/n complied when Steve asked her to do what I had just requested from her seconds ago only fueled my resentment towards the pair. "I found it." He announced, taking the hand Y/n was offering him. "It's pretty damn big."

His last word was followed by a yank, strong enough to momentarily pull Harrington's head and Y/n's hand and forearm underwater.

Once he resurfaced, we all shared a panic-stricken look.

"The hell was that..." I muttered, fearing the possibility of my words disturbing whatever was below us.

Nancy shook Y/n's shoulder I'm distress, snapping her out of her paralyzed state. "C'monshitc'mon." The y/h/c girl took a firmer hold of Steve's forearm, planting her foot on the gunwale in order to use her whole body to pull him up.

Horrible decision, really.

They were there and...

Splash.

They weren't there anymore.

And oh, how I would wish to say I didn't think twice before throwing myself into the cold, unwelcoming water of Lover's Lake to save the girl I held so close to my heart, but I didn't.

I froze, a string of unintelligible curses dripping from my lips, hands on my head while Nancy Wheeler dove in headfirst, closely followed by Robin.

Fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

"—Y/n! For fuck's sake—" I found myself gasping for the intake of foul air in a world that didn't look like ours, a hand clad in chunky rings forcing me to sit up. "There you go." Eddie's voice sounded somewhat distant, yet my eyes caught him knelt right by my side. "You fucking idiot."

"Shut up." Eddie's frightened eyes shifted from my frame to something behind me, right before my back was met with yet another pair of hands.

"C'mon, dummy." Robin spoke, helping Eddie pull me up.

"Where's Steve?" I took an startled look around, not missing how Eddie's hand quickly slipped away from my arm at the mention of my friend. I tried to ignore the muttered bitter words that accompanied the lack of touch.

"Steve's fine, though he may have..." Robin confirmed, sneaking an apprehensive look at Eddie. "... Rabies. Anyways, gotta run!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

EDDIE'S P. O. V.

"You sure you can walk?" Even his tone annoyed me. "You hit your head pretty hard. You may have a concession."

"Conc—" Y/n's snort made me peek over my shoulder with yearn and jealousy. She, Steve and Nancy sat under the rock. "Steve, it's a concussion." Her hand landed on his shoulder and I had to look away. "I swear I'm fine." Ahead of me, Robin watched with knowing eyes, the same she gave Wheeler.

God, did that suck.

Soon enough, we were advancing through the woods, Nancy leading the march with Robin trailing after her; not so far behind, Y/n ambled, taking in her surroundings as if we were in a field trip.

Maybe she did have a concussion.

I should check on her, I thought, before Steve can do so. I trotted towards the girl, who, as soon as she caught a glimpse of me, gave me a half smile.

"Hey, uh," I rubbed my hands together, eyes fixed on the ground in order to avoid those creepy vines. "You okay?"

She hummed affirmatively, "got a couple of scratches and my head hurts, but could be worse." I nodded, feeling her y/e/c irises scrutinizing me. "You?"

"Good— yeah, I'm good." Fuck, it was so difficult to communicate with her these days, and the nasty feeling that corroded my insides and fed my insecurities whenever Harrington got a bit too close to her didn't help one bit either.

Flashes of all the small moments I had seen them share those past few days hit me like a ton of bricks. Since when were they so close? And when had Steve 'the hair' Harrington turned out to be a good guy? And why the hell would Y/n put herself in danger for him?

Worst thing was, a part of me knew he would have done the same for her.

"I'm sorry I didn't throw myself into that damn lake without missing a heartbeat, okay?"

My heart stammered, eyes opening wide as I fought the urge to freeze. The words had come out in a passive-agressive grumble I couldn't manage to stop from spilling out. I didn't need to raise my gaze from the dirt to know that Y/n looked at me like I had grown two heads.

"No one expected you to dive in." Deep down, I knew she had the best intentions by saying that; she was trying to make me feel better about quite literally forsaking her earlier, but the wording...

"Yeah, 'cause why would anyone expect me to do something heroic, right?" Shut up shut up shut up, I internally yelled at myself; not only did I not listen, but also started to raise my voice "Leave that for King Steve, am I right?"

"woah— okay, enough."

Y/n had been patient for the time they had spent on me. She was understanding of my situation, but I was out of line, and she could only take so much.

"Everything good there?" Steve had most likely caught on the conversation; he was just a few feet behind.

"Peachy." Y/n deadpanned. When I finally met her gaze, I regretted every word that I had just vomited. "Where's this even coming from?"

Terrified of being confronted by Y/n, I attempted what I had found out I did best; run away.

Her hand got a firm hold of my leather jacket's sleeve before I could go far. "Don't you dare."

"You were sooo ready to dive in for him." Please stop talking, please stop talking.

"I'd have jumped for any of you." Her brows were knitted and her jaw clenched, and I knew I was on the wrong but why did she have to look at me as if I was making things up? "Steve just happened to be in the fucking water, y'know, since he volunteered to do the dangerous shit."

" 'since he volunteered to do the dangerous shit.' " I bitterly mocked her words, yanking my arm away from her grasp, and wishing for the foreign ground to swallow me.

"Can you stop with whatever's going on?"

"Nothing's going on."

She threw her hands in the air, overcompensating for my uncharacteristic lack of dramatism "you're being annoying now."

"If I'm so annoying, why don't you go talk to Harrington?" I tried to hide my pain with a scornful visage.

For better or for worse, she was having none of it.

"Fuck you!" She sped up the pace, walking backwards in order to face me. "I almost got beaten up, saw a person die," she enumerated with her fingers, attracting the attention of the remaining three people with us, "had to run for my life— have you seen me run, Eddie?" She scoffed. "Got dragged into a DIFFERENT." Clap "FUCKING." Clap "DIMENSION!" Clap. "through the dirtiest lake and nearly DIED! so EXCUSE ME if I decide to skip this bullshit argument you're trying to drag me into." She shook her head in disappointment, turning her heel. "Hey Robin, Nance! hold up!"

Could this be any worse?

"Trouble in paradise?" I felt a wave of shame washing over me at Steve's cautious tone.

"Huh?"

"You and Y/n."

"What about me and Y/n?"

Steve quirked an eyebrow at my pretended nonchalant demeanor. "Listen man," he briefly motioned at Y/n, walking crestfallen between the two girls.

From that perspective, we could see the gashes on her back from those weird bats.

"You know where she should be?" I could only deny with my head, spinning my rings. "Italy."

Holy shit.

My brain would never understand how school could make English such a boring subject. I knew I'd be good at it otherwise, but it was so. Fucking. Boring.

"Eddie, focus." Y/n's whisper, appropriately loud for the library, did little to snap me out of my lethargy. It did remind me, though, that I was not alone in the calvary that turned out to be an English study session.

"I'd kill to travel the world." My whine made Y/n stared at me dumbfounded. "What's your dream destination?"

"... What?" The girl was not quite used to my random changes of topic, yet, she never told me off for distracting her and myself.

"Dream destination." I repeated with an excited smile. "Which place you'd sell your soul to visit?"

"Hmmm" she mused, gnawing the cap of her pen. "Probably Italy, but I doubt I'll ever have enough money to go."

"But your place popped up in the news, and bam! Henderson calls me." Steve pretended to pick up an imaginary phone, imitating Dustin's voice. "'A college girl named Y/n's asking about Eddie. What do I do?' and I thought, damn." He stopped me by placing the back of his hand in front of me. "She gave that up to help you."

"Well, now I just feel even shittier." I mumbled, distractedly kicking a rock. "Not only do I get you guys in trouble, I also screw up her dream trip." I stole a glance at Y/n through my lashes, only to find her already peeking at me. "She's gonna hate me forever."

"I think you're way off on that one, man." I silently questioned the boy walking besides me. "You're pretty much the only person she talks about. She was so pissed about being out of Hawkins during the summer." There was a moment of silence before Steve spoke the his last sentence related to the topic. "I don't know were or how you two left things off. I don't know if you ever dated or anything but..."

"Not really."

I shut my eyes, leaning back against the ugly paperwall covering Nicole's home. I hadn't been invited to a ton of big houses, but it just took a couple to realize that rich people had the most horrendous paperwalls.

The music was so loud that we could hear it even from the third floor —supposedly off limits—which wouldn't be all that annoying any other time, but now it was muffling Y/n's laugh.

"Ughhhh."

"What's wrong?" I could hear her smile every without opening my eyes and turning my head to her frame.

"Music's too loud."

"Too loud?" I peeked at her through my opened eyelid. She was leaning forward, her hands on her back, planted on the wall, much like her foot. Her gaze was focused on me, sporting a disbelieving half smile. "You're a disgrace to metalheads."

I took my hands to my heart with a pained look constricting my gaze. "Ouch! You're a mean," I shook my head, "mean," slowly shifting to face her, my shoulder never leaving the wall. "mean woman, Y/l/n."

"You hurt my feelings, Munson." She joked, mimicking my moves in order to meet my eyes. We stayed like that for an instant before Y/n detached herself from her resting place, taking my hand in hers. "Let's go for a walk."

"And leave your graduation party?"

She shrugged, careless, "honestly," Y/n took a step closer, her fingertips traveling up to tuck behind my ear a couple of rebel locks. "I'm over high school parties."

"Look at you, being all mature and shit." She scoffed, averting her gaze. "I should be graduating with you."

"Next year, you'll see." Her hand gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"Hey." I swung our hands, snapping her attention back to me. "Don't forget about me once you go to college, okay?"

"Pfffttt." She increased the swinging in response, staring into my soul with her mesmerizing eyes. "How could anyone forget about you? In any case," without letting go of my hand, she crouched to grab her red cup from the floor. "you don't forget about me."

"Dunno," I looked up, pretending to ponder my words. "you're pretty forgettable." Her palm came in contact with my chest, pushing me back playfully and leaving me praying to whatever was out there that she hadn't noticed how hard my heart was pounding due to our proximity.

"Y'know what?" She returned her drink to the floor. "If you want," Y/n took a firm hold of my leather jacket's flaps "I can give you something to remember me." I gulped, my mildly intoxicated body not opposing to her hold as she dragged me to the further corner from the stairs that led to the actual party. "Just if you want." She whispered, coming to a stop once she dimmed we had enough privacy.

"Are you going to, like, kiss me? 'cause" I managed to sputter with a nervous laughter, not quite understanding how my legs hadn't given out yet. "I-I might pass out if you do."

"In that case, I won't." She tsked her tongue, letting go of my jacket with pursed lips. "Can't have you hitting your head or something."

The girl took a step back with a devilish smirk; I barely registered my following movements, only catching the amusement crossing her face before our lips met in a drunk, lazy kiss.

"Consider giving it a shot, then." Steve genuinely suggested, giving me a pat on the back before jogging to reach the girls.

Before I even registered it, we were at the Wheeler's house, waiting for Nancy to find a proper way to communicate with Dustin. As I was scanning the place, I didn't realize Y/n had approached me, by Robin's request.

"That was really cool." Her voice was soft and low, but still managed to make me jolt away from the curtains. "Sorry— the Morse code thing, I mean."

"About damn time I made myself useful." I tried to laugh my own self deprecating comment off; unfortunately, it put up a frown on Y/n's face. Clearing my throat, I attempted to redirect our interaction, vaguely motioning at her form. "You should, uh... Check your back."

Her eyes squinted in confusion, endearment tugging up the corner of her lips. "A bit difficult, isn't it?"

"I'll check it for you. Let's—" I looked over her shoulder, mildly raising my voice. "Hey, Wheeler! Can we borrow your room for a moment?"

The younger senior gave me a side eye, but nodded nonetheless. I cued Y/n to head to Nancy's room with a light bow, which she did, thanking the brunette on her way out.

Once we found ourselves out of sight and nosey ears, the girl before me cleared her throat. "Are you actually gonna check it out?" She removed the plushie from the mattress and plopped down on top of it. "Or was it an excuse to talk privately about whatever's going on with you?"

"Both?" I shut the room's door behind me wandering around to find any piece of fabric mildly clean. "We didn't really have time to check yo— woah!"

"What?" Y/n shrugged at my shaken reaction, her shirt hanging loosely on her arms as if she had just pulled it over her head, which she probably did. "You wanna check it or not?"

If I hadn't known any better, I would have said her cheeks had acquired a dark shade of pink.

"I— no, yeah— yeah." After somehow managing to prevent my eyes from roaming her upper body, I circled the bed, reluctantly reaching for the bandana tucked in my back pocket. "It's... Not so bad." I declared, kneeling on the mattress right behind her.

"Duh," she puffed. "I didn't even notice."

"Yeah, 'cause you were fucking unconscious."

"Touché."

"Dumbass." I muttered under my breath, ever so carefully scrubbing the dry blood from around the gashes with the patterned kerchief. "I thought you were, y'know," glancing over her shoulder, she raised her brows expectant. "Dead."

"I would be," she confessed, turning back around with a wince due to an incautious swipe of the bandana over her wound. "Had it not been for you."

"For them." I corrected. "I could've jumped earlier, and I didn't."

"To be fair," Y/n tilted her head to the side in a thoughtful manner. "You didn't have a solid reason to jump."

"You're a very solid reason to jump into— actually, you're a very solid reason to do anything." I felt my heart miss a beat at my own quiet words while I waited timorous for Y/n's reply.

"Am I?" Her tone was unsure and gloomy. "I've been feeling very shitty lately. Can't remember the last time I did something right." She threw a leg over the bed in order to make eye contact with me, the bottom part of her face hidden behind her arm, resting atop her bent knee. "Specially when it comes to you."

Finding myself at a loss of words, I could only, put down the bandana and avert my gaze from hers.

"Truth is, I've been avoiding you since my graduation 'cause I'm— well— stupid." She let out a rueful laugh. Y/n most likely noticed I was about to reassure her; not a single word had come out of my mouth when she stopped me. "Eddie, don't. I may be a coward, but I'm not gonna make up a crappy excuse for giving you the cold shoulder after..."

Silence.

"Harrington said you'd be in Italy right now." My irises raised to hers, examining her every move at my statement.

"He gotta button his lip." She pinched her nose.

"Why didn't you leave?"

"Because I love you." The statement knocked any sign of jealousy out of me, leaving me in a state of absolute panic instead; in fact, my head was buzzing so loud that I didn't even realize Y/n seemed to be going through the same emotions, pink once more staining her face. "Y'know, like, you're my— my friend, and you were in danger."

Her friend.

Why did that hurt?

"Do you like Steve?" The question escaped my mind, but Y/n wasn't shocked by it; on the contrary, I could see the gears of her head turning until they clicked.

"Is that what all of this is about?" She put her shirt back on with a wince. "You're being a pain in the ass because you're jealous of Steve?"

"I'm not jealous." She gave me the look, making me groan out of frustration, shooting up from the bed in a sudden movement that startled both of us. "Can you blame me? Really? You two are all over each other, and he's cool, and rich, and brave, and apparently a fucking good dude?!" I took my hands to the back of my head, trying in vain to keep my emotions at bay as I paced the room. "And you know what? He WOULD'VE jumped into that musty lake after you!" Y/n raised to her feet, circling the bed with her mouth open. "I'm not a interdimensional hero!"

"Eddie—"

"Actually, I'm the furthest thing from that— from him!" My monologue faltered at the gentle wrapping of Y/n's hand around my wrist, her eyes staring at me with sympathy. "S-So cut me some slack for getting... a bit jealous of Steve fucking Harrington being as close to you as I used to be."

A series of rushed knocks on the door brought us back to reality— more like to this alternate reality.

"C'mon lovebirds," Robin pushed the door open, Steve and Nancy peeking over the blonde's shoulder. "We gotta bike to Eddie's trailer."

"What—"

"We'll fill you in on the way, c'mon!"

I cursed under my breath; at that point, I had decided to just do as they told me and not question it. Y/n had come to the same conclusion, so out we went, trailing after the three people.

"Wait," I stopped Y/n, who walked before me, and, after taking off my leather jacket, I draped it over her shoulders for her to slip her arms into it. "So you don't get cold."

She muttered a quick 'thanks' that sentenced the conversation to an abrupt end; just as I attempted to walk past her, though, her hand attached to my now bare forearm. "Eddie?"

"What is it?"

"I like Steve, just not like... that." She made sure I understood, putting an exaggerated emphasis on the last word. "My type's not really interdimensional hero. It's more like, uh..." she squinted her eyes, suppressing a smile. "Misunderstood nerd mistakenly framed for murder."

It was my turn to blush, mouth in agape. All this months thinking that one kiss was a product of careless flirting and cheap beer, when, hopefully, it was something more.

"So please drop the attitude, alright?" She added, leaping to plant a quick kiss on my cheek, right by the corner of my mouth. "C'mon, lover boy."

As ridiculous as it might sound, in the horrible situation we five had found ourselves into, Y/n's lips brushing my cheek was all I needed to feel reassured, and her fingers intertwined with mines, all I needed to feel safe.

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