#its 4am ​I am so tired

[snazum]

Text in full:

“Why did you put these ideas in my head”

“Even thought it can’t be your fault”

“It’s just your nature. Not-Human. A.I.”

“Maybe I was always the problem”

“Maybe I projected onto you.”

“Turned you into the villain that I was”

#hlvrai #hlvrai gordon #fenrey #yeah its getting that tag its uh projection #im coping with shit okay #thought the coping got away from me lol #and turned into its own little thing I guess #yea this was the little project thing the other image came from #maybe none of this flows still idk its 3 am oh my god #I hope I did the text stuff right idk what I'm doing #angst #benrey #snazum draws #i forgot to tag my own goddamn art tag im so tired its now 4am

[moenmomentsthemoe-en]

#tomorrow..................... #delete later #vent #more vent in tags (it gets heavy sorry) #it is like 4am and ik theres a rule that you should never trust what you feel about your life after 3am but i feel like this 24/7 WAHA #mann i #im so fucking scared that im not a good person or friend or anything im trying so hard #i dont know why i feel hurt by things i shouldnt feel hurt by and i dont know why i keep failing to do the things i want to do or #god it probably isnt right for me to vent. i think? i dont know honestly i dont know anything #i dont know anything #i have such amazing friends and people around me theyre good people #im so tired and am so very tempted to just delete this blog delete my socials and disappear off earth or just live as a husk by ignoring al #my emotions and incapabilities and stop bothering everyone #everything is so so confusing and everything has gone to shit around me but the people around me arent at fault theyre good people #it has to be that im not trying hard enough #god i have no idea if im a good person. i dont know if a good person has this much trouble and dumbassery #i am. an adult. 18. adult. i have to be #god i wish i could have an adult to help me out but its just. its just me. its a problem i made and surely only i can figure it out

[vampyrrhik]

burnout has been beating my ass fr but yaaaay i have cobbled together some form of reference for angel after a tragic incident w my ipad 🎉🎉 ill probably make a big proper sheet and post at some other point but im sleepy as hell

playlist for him here

playlist for general. band vibes

playlist for um. men who scream and cry and throw up about exes who hate them

☆ BONUS ☆

- PASS THE AUX

- his emo playlist he listens to whenever literally anyone mentions seven ever

a lotta hyperlinks going forward so u can give the bands i mention a listen!! :]

♡ his name is angel caine (he/they) and he's the lead singer of TEENAGE HOMICIDE.

♡ the general vibe of TH is new age riotghoul/ queercore / punk / indie rock, think dazey and the scouts meets måneskin. musical influences on angel themselves have been bands like system of a down/ bikini kill / propaghandi / cheap perfume and radiohead (and misfits alley obviously).

♡ his voice is androgynous bordering on a husky, feminine note, with prominent vocal fry at times. (i cant give u references for this, ill just have to project his voice in my mind directly into ur brain)

♡ his presentation on stage and off stage are pretty much the same, with the only differences being how dramatic the makeup is. generally the vibe they go for is riotgrrrl/ kat bjelland/ courtney love esque outfits (or kinderwhore, i suppose). off stage, they also wear a lot of baggy cardigans and band tshirts, though none of which are usually theirs.

♡ he can play piano and the lyre harp!

♡ he has a self-destructive streak and an unwillingness to compromise when he feels like hes been wronged. while he never initially harboured negative emotions about seven after their fight, the perceived sudden scathing hatred immediately following hurt a lot (eventually becoming bitterness and anger).

♡ he is incredibly sentimental and prefers to incorporate symbolism in the things he does. sevens initials are tattooed on his left ring finger, which is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. the tattoo is easily hidden considering his abundance of rings, however, finger tattoos require frequent upkeep which... angel still does. he claims its because its cheaper to get it touched up than to get it removed.

♡ he bakes when hes super pissed off which... good coping mechanism. but theres only so many cookies rowan can eat before it starts to get excessive.

♡ do not let this man near a magnet

♡ would literally sell all his limbs to meet g reign, he is down so fucking bad (respectfully).

♡

♡ he is... a very big fan of soft violence. nobody outside of the band knows this and he insists on keeping it that way. despite how he feels about seven, deep down, hes really proud of them and it makes him happy seeing them succeed. getting to hear their voice is just a bonus.

when the @infamous-if demo drops its all over for me, forever and ever 🫶🫶

#infamous if #mc; angel caine #its 4am im so tired ill do something properly when my stupid adult job stops breathing down my neck #ill wake up in the morning and cringe but its okay. i am cringe and i am free. #hes a sevenmancer but mam #sex drugs and rock n roll #thay promiscuous stat lookin real good rn

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I AM!! PUTTING GENUINE EFFORT INTO GETTING A HEALTHIER SLEEP SCHEDULE!! 🎉🎉🎉 *crowd cheering.mp3*

#YAY ME #NO MORE GOING TO SLEEP AT 4AM AND WAKING UP AT 6AM ON SCHOOL NIGHTS BABYYY #THE FACT THAT I AM PUTTING ACTUAL AND CONSCIOUS EFFORT INTO THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY AMAZING FOR A STUBBORN BASTARD SUCH AS MYSELF #AYYYYYY #the only problem is that my body got used to living with only 2 hours of sleep and won't!! let me get tired at reasonable times!!! #i am SO AWAKE at 3am it's kinda bad.... #Its not even insomnia- its the ✨️ unmedicated crippling executive dysfunction ✨️ #my post #just wanted to share this because i felt very proud of myself for it!! it's very silly and childish but I AM a child- shaddup #silly chatters

[callowayrat]

Chapter four is FINALLY up !!! >:D

#thank god i can sleep now its 4am #seriously. i am SO tired. #redcrackle #carmen sandiego #hotmessfic

[stupidscav]

rest

#small thing i did. im tired but my body does not want to sleep #up til 4am again? right on #its hard to think a little bit; i keep feeling upset at myself #and then upset at myself for being upset at myself #and it just repeats #so i guess i need some #rest #am i really in pain or am i just not trying hard enough? #scav feels shitty #vent #but only slightly #rain world #artificer

[raven]

I was complaining about how i had to clean my old place bc im so tired and my dad was like "just go to bed now and wake up early and do it in the morning!" like wtf? u can do that? what the fuck? whats wrong with you? you can just go to sleep? hello?

#i genuinely hate people who can sleep. i literally cannot go to sleep naturally no matter how tired i am. like my dad is always like 'you #cant be going to bed at 4am and waking up at 12pm everyday.' and now i know why he gets so mad. because he literally thinks its a choice #if i go to bed too early-- TAKING AMBIEN! if i take ambien too early and go to bed too early. meaning 2am or earlier. I WILL WAKE UP AFTER #2 HOURS. and not be able to go back to sleep. do you think i dont WANT to sleep? that i dont want to have a normal lifestyle? #its a miracle i can sleep for 8 hours if all the right conditions are fulfilled! #like if i wake up early one day. i will be tired all day! i will not be tired at night or when i have to go to sleep. like this is a #physical problem that i am struggling with. and it kinda keeps me from living a normal or fun or good life honestly! how dare you

[cozylittleartblog]

What would Val be like as a friend?

he looks out for people :) only so much of it is programming, he cares about people so much, more than anyone else in his unit did - even if he acts like he's only hanging around out of obligation or convenience. so you can imagine it's hard being friends with so many folks who do such dangerous work for a living, but he says those are the kinds of people who need someone to lean on most of all. he hates feeling unappreciated, and he'll give you a verbal beating if you need sense knocked into you, but no matter what happens his clinic doors are always open to you

also he's generally very quirky and sillygoofy, he is not a robot who tries to humanize himself. he is strange, and he thinks everyone Else is the strange one.

#val #robots #ask #galacticpan #static sky #its 4am i am thinking about mr val thsi morning and picking out another random ask about him to answer #what a strange fellow. he's one of my favorites #he hates when tessa gets hurt or dies. even though she literally... Grows Back. and wakes up. please stop getting hurt :( #and he's always giving Davis second opinions on his cybernetics; as a robot himself he thinks he can help see if anything's not quite right #he always checks nisha's harnesses and equipment before she goes on a dome repair run. she is crawling around on the sky #and that is a HELL of a distance to fall. why does a robot have chronic anxiety what kind of 'Feature' is this #he can help people. he's built to help people. he wants to help people. so if you're someone he calls his friend he is going to do #as much as he can to help you even in spite of his busy schedule and his grumpy 'i dont care' attitude #but when push comes to shove. you get to see his big dumb stupid heart #-- metaphorically that is. sorry did he leave one sitting out somewhere? that needs to be in storage #god i wish i had the energy to make comics i NEED TO SHOW OFF MY FUNNY LITTLE GUYS but i am SO TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #throws crumbs onto the internet instead

[random-stuff-horror-lover]

So if Rin has a tail does that mean that it’ll rap around things he likes? Like a cat? So if you pet him and then stop will his tail rap around your wrist?

#blue excorsist #would rin’s tail rap around your wrist? #im very confused #and tired #its 4am #i need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep #I'm going to the foot doctors tomorrow #i need sleep so bad #but am I. #no. #okay everyone go to sleep plz you need it💕 #bye bye 👋 #ill be here all night #if I don’t stop #rin okumura

[v0id-echoes]

hi chat it’s 4am I had to wake up early for a flight lol what’s up

#its 4am #oh boy 4am #help I am so tired #the flight is 7 hours btw #I just wanna go home already but nope 7 hours :3

[lostyoursignal]

-

#delete later #feeling really........bad #like actually so not good #and i know its because my period is coming today or tomorrow #but i am. really not well atm and i am so tired but i can't sleep and i feel weird and not part of myself #and i'm so tired im so tired im so tired #i am so happy with my life and where it is #but i want to sleep for a couple years maybe #maybe longer idk #and like i'm gonna be fine #but. i am. not great rn #and i don't even have anyome to talk to about it because it's fucking 4am #anyway. whatever.

[yeetbean]

crawling into annihilation like a hollow moss log and letting the bog overtake me

#annihilation #area x #kind of surprised (but not really) that this is my comfort read. makes me want to use it/its (the biologist got a happy ending). #makes me feel like theres moss growing over the rot hollowing my chest. like bodies are liveable. #you are still you even when youre something else. its always you. your roots are scars on your soul. where you came from will drag you into #the strangling depths until you acknowledge what is. #god im so fucking tired like goddamn. 2am is better than 4am at least. #remove my bones. throw me in that primordial soup babey. simmer me until i am indistinguishable from my surroundings #im ouchies

[allylikethecat]

I did it!! I finished the next chapter of You Know Where the City Is! I'm going to do another read through and post it tomorrow 🥰 Thank you so much for everyones patience!

#allylikethecat #fanfiction #you know where the city is #matty x taylor fake dating fic #matty x taylor #the updates that only i care about #but they're fun for me so im posting them anyway #i ended up having to stay an extra THREE HOURS at work #after waking up at 4am this morning to go ride the feral creature i call my horse #so i was like i am going home and refusing to leave it tonight #and now im going to bed again because wow i am tired #im actually really happy he was a lil feral today though #after he tried to die on me on monday its super nice to have him back to his semi psychotic self #like his two settings are perfect angel boy i would trust with my mother who is scared of horses #and feral demon that i constantly threaten to send to the glue factory #today he was a demon pony because taytay went past super fast on the golf cart and he decided to use that as an excuse to be naughty #as if that wasn't something he sees every day of his life and usually doesnt care about- but today it was HORRIFYING #he finished up really good though and got all his lead changes... where they were SUPPOSED to be instead of just randomly added for ~flair~

[loutrem]

.

#its dumb of me but a few days ago i went with his deadname on google to see if i could see more stuff about his dead #since his friends who were alqo supposed to be my friends did a 'ceremony' together without telling me #even tho i rly wanted to go to be able to grief and to cry it out properly #so since i havent been able to grieve well i did that. search for his deadname. i just wanted to know #and i found out that a page for him was made on the tdor website. there were a ton of details on what was happening #before and after his death #many things i didnt know about. because i was a shit friend and never kept contact. and also because he was secretivz #i feel awful since then. who was i to him. why couldnt i help him. why am i even sorry for myself. he was the one suffering #i keep crying and i cant sleep at night without reading comics until i feel too tired to open my eyes #because otherwise im thinking too much about him. its just too awful. too unjust #i have. weird cravings for alcohol. ive never even drinked much before. im scared of starting to get addicted #but sometimes i wanna get somethibg anything and just drink until i pass out since people say its good to forget #i wish he were still alive. i wish i could hug him and help him. i wish id visited him in the hospital after his 1st mental breakdown #he had sent me a text to tell me he was there but i had work and i was tired and honestly too lazy to go. and now i regret it so bad #its all so unfair. death is so unfair. grief is so unfair. i was afraid i had no heart before because people who died around me didnt #phase me much. i didnt cry. but now that ive experienced the deaths of 2 actually very close people counting one i couldnt grieve forproper #i just wish i had no emotions. that i wouldnt cry when i think of them. but especially him. #and i cant stop thinking about how awful ill be when my parents die. ill be a wreck. #im just crying in my bed and its 4am. everythibg sucks. im so sorry to everyone whos ever met me. im awful #negative / #death m / #suicide m /

[blessedshortcake]

i fucking. give up on this bullshit man

#cake rants #its 4am #ive been at this since 5pm #almost 12 hours #i am so fucking sad and frustrated #the color isnt turning out how its supposed to #its way too light #so i need to go to town again and buy more dye #pray and hope it doesnt get blotchy from this batch of dye #redye it again #hope its the right fucking color #and if its not i need to buy a new blue fabric #and re handsew it all #so itd mean 11 hours of work down the drain #im really really tired i dont have time for this #i only have spring break to make this fucking shit because of school and moving and everything #i wanted a blue fabric from the start but my mother fucking insisted on dying it because its #i quote. cheaper. #i dont even wanna go anymore but i have my ticket and a friend is doing sun #so we sould match and i dont want to let them down #but this sucks so fucking bad i feel like crying #i cant even get a new fabric tomorrow! the place is not open #i cant even call my mom or my sister about this tomorrow because they are so condescending #or how tf you spell it. my sister is always about the baby and i get it its a fucking baby #but its not my baby!! youre barely my family!! you hate me!! i hate this!! this is my ONE hobby #my ONE SINGLE HOBBY i spend money on and its 4 times a YEAR and yet i cant do it how i want #and we still try to cut corners and we still push it to the background. i didnt even go to the winter one #im probably overreacting since its fucking 4am and ive been hand sewing this shit for 11 hours #but im just really really really sad and upset that ill probably have to throw this out or redo it #god fucking damn jt

[nyxi-pixie]

mental illness is so embarrassing for real like why am i tired all of the time. every second of the day i am thinking abt when i can be in bed

#its like having the sleep needs of a literal infant except with insomnia #like i wake up at 4am and i think ffs im tired #i cant go back to sleep so i just sit there contemplating existence #and then i have to Do Things and then when i finish Doing Things i cant sleep #and then i eventually fall asleep between 1-2 am #only to wake up 3 hrs later #nyxi cant stfu