#its 9:30am i could get out n spend all day on them

[shurisneakers]

shut in [9]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: ok ok ok ok sam deserves the world and im mad that he’s not getting it

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

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Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

He was gone.

10:00am

Time had begun to slip past you. Days where you were forced to wake up at 4am were just a dreary memory you didn’t want to revisit. The rough shoves in the morning to have you awake enough to be in training by 4:30am only fell into the category of things you had forgotten over the time you had stayed here.

Maybe sleep wasn’t a luxury you weren’t allowed to afford.

10:30am

By the time you step into the kitchen, the loose structure of the day you had ahead of you was forming. Maybe if you revisited the small makeshift shooting range you had set up for Sam and you to practice. A couple of old soup cans, a flat boulder for them to sit on and you were good to go. He had allowed you to use his giant board for knife throwing too, laughed when you asked for permission before saying it was for the both of you. 

You made a sandwich for yourself, forcing it down your throat with water. Bread was starting to feel like cardboard and the jam just tasted like nothing. Peanut butter was even worse.

Losing appetite wasn’t an option, even though it had eroded a while ago. The best option was to just scarf it down with water. 

11:00am

Sam isn’t in the house, you had deduced. A morning run or maybe just some fresh air.

You checked for the notes he sometimes left for you when he went out. Something along the lines of when he’d be back, or why he’d left, or where you could find him. 

You looked on top of the fridge where he generally left them; someplace he knew you’d see. You didn’t find one.

You shrugged it off. 

Something felt wrong about the arrangement of the kitchen but you couldn’t place a finger on what it was. All the chairs were in its place, trash appropriately in the bin, no bowls were left from soup day in the sink to wash. 

The origami swan you had made still rested next to his paper airplane. Nothing seemed wrong or out of place. 

You pushed yourself to shake off the nerves, to get dressed instead. The shooting range was waiting for you.

12:45pm

When you shoot for thirty and get all thirty, it tends to get a little boring. Not that you were complaining; if even one was off you’d spend the whole day trying to make up for it.

Violent hobbies weren’t ideal. They weren’t even hobbies per se. Just skills you needed to keep sharp if you wanted to survive.

You even shot at the targets that you had hung up on the trees. Dangerous and completely Sam’s idea. Said the wind made them act like moving targets. Nevermind the possibility of a ricochet.

The target board was empty too. Admittedly, knife throwing was a little harder  to get used than shooting to but it still only took a few tries before you were hitting bullseye over and over again.

There just wasn’t anything to do. And you realised it had been this way for a while but you never noticed due to his lively chatter or how competitive it got with stupid games you were making up as you went. 

1:00pm

You learned against the counter as you ate, eyeing the room, trying to figure out what you had misplaced. The air was cold, even more so after the shower, so you threw on an extra t-shirt to aid you.

You made a noise of disapproval when you couldn’t find what was wrong. A quick wash of your hands before you made your way to the TV, fully intending to doze off while watching Megamind for the fourth time. 

You passed by the mini fridge on the way, noting how you needed to restock the ice cubes when you suddenly stopped in your path.

Your eyes peeled back to the small paper bowl Sam had crafted expertly that was still somehow managing to stick together. But that was what was wrong.

The keys were missing.

The fucking car keys and the pocket change you had taken from Pierce’s house were no longer there. 

Your body moved on autopilot, dragging you towards the front door. You yanked it open, door creaking under the pressure you applied on it.

Your heart sank. 

The car was gone.

1:20pm

You had all the possibilities listed out in front of you with the rest scratched out after you had rationalised it.

Someone had come in and taken the car, which wasn’t likely. 

Sam had stepped out but hadn’t mentioned it to you. If he did, why would he need the car?

Someone had abducted Sam, which was absurd on paper but still left a twinge of uncertainty because you couldn’t definitively rule it out. 

He had just left. Decided he was done and left. 

You stared at the last option. 

“Fuck,” you cursed.

You could feel his muscle shift as he looked at you. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You opened your mouth but shut it again. How do you explain it to him without sounding utterly ridiculous?

You wondered if it was that conversation. 

He wouldn’t leave after you told him, would he?

You hesitated before shaking your head.

He’d come back. He would.

1:45pm 

You had added a few more possibilities to the list but discarded it almost immediately.

You now found a place in front of the TV, watching but not registering what was said. Your fingers kept itself busy by playing with the hem of your shirt. You had thrown another one on since his jacket was missing with the rest of him. It had gotten colder.

The woman droned on about how much her husband loved the recipe she was making. It was Sam’s favourite segment, not because it was particularly fantastic or anything, but because it gave him forty five minutes of free content to trash talk.

Your eyes kept glancing up at the clock. Was it broken or was time much slower than you initially thought?

You almost felt like you were in a cognitive dysfunction; you couldn’t do anything other than while away time till you figured out what had gone wrong. 

2:00pm

If you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t have heard the soft crunch of twigs. The whirring of the wheels as it turned gently only made you sit up straight, hands on the gun that rested on the couch beside you.

It came to a stop. The gun was fully in your grip now, TV turned off to determine what the noises were.

It was the most agonisingly slow minute you spent listening as the car opened and shut, muffled by the distance. You were near the door, using the adjoining wall as a hideaway. 

The doorknob shook as someone tried to push their way in. 

“Sam?” you called out cautiously against your better judgement, mentally cringing. 

It took a second for his reply to return. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Let me in, will you? Stupid door’s not opening.”

Of course it wouldn’t. It was fingerprint activated.

Relief flooded your system, letting yourself hold the gun with only one hand as you hastily made your way to open the door.

However, you paused. As much as you wanted to fling the door open blindly, you waited, hand on the knob.

“Is someone out there with you?”

“What?” he sounded confused. “No, it’s just me.”

You opened the door slightly, peeking out through the sliver of open space. 

Sure enough, it was only him. The car was returned to the same spot that it was.

“Where were you?” You yanked the door open. You sounded way more aggressive than you planned to, you were sure. It didn’t matter though.

“Went to the store,” he said nonchalantly, stepping inside, and dropping the keys back where they were.

“What?” 

He was so relaxed about it, like it was nothing. It only irked you further than you already were.

“Drove the car till the highway, walked into town and went to the store.” He set the bag down. “What’d you do all day?”

“You went to the town,” you emphasised. “To the fucking store.”

“Yeah, I figured you would be up by the time I came back.”

“You were gone for hours.” You crossed your arms over your chest, fighting the urge to yell. You could talk it out calmly. You didn’t have to snap

You hoped he had a good reason. You sincerely hoped, for his well being and security, that he risked his life to go to public space.

“We’re way further out than you think. Nearest dollar store’s almost the next fuckin’ state if you’re walking. Had to ditch the car because it’s a little too flashy, even for me.” He lifted up the bag next to him. “Got us some ramen. And juice. That’s all we had cash for anyway.”

You stare at him, mouth slightly agape. 

“You could have been seen, Sam,” your tone was corrosive, the next best you could do instead of yelling. “For all we know, you could have been followed.”

“No one followed me. I made sure.”

That did nothing to alleviate the anxiety that was crawling into your head. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you muttered. “Fucking ridiculous.”

“Where are you going?” You ignored him, turning on your heel and walking to the bedroom. You didn’t care if it was his day that day. He could rot in the kitchen with his stupid ramen for all you cared.

You cursed as you slammed the door behind you, launching yourself onto the bed. 

There was no denying you were relieved that he was still alive and here. But fuck him. Fucking dickhead. 

Fucking juice.

You spent the next couple of hours feeling absolutely embarrassed for yourself. Why did you spend hours worrying if he was safe when he was out there, gallivanting in public for some stupid noodles?

Both of you could have been absolutely fucked if he wasn’t careful. He may have just jeopardised your entire set up.

But deep down, no matter how much it was annoying to acknowledge, you knew he wouldn’t have. He was smart, strategic. 

Why would he do something like this?

How much you were worried scared you. There was no time where it had occurred that maybe you were in danger too. Every possibility you came up with only pushed the thought of him possibly in trouble further into your head. 

But the more you spend time overthinking, the more you realised that him being in danger wasn’t the entire cause of your worry. 

What if he didn’t come back? Why’d he come back? 

He had the means to leave, the will to and clearly was able to go undetected for a while. He didn’t need to return, but he did. 

And for what; to give you some food he bought from the dollar store. 

He seemed excited about it too, before you had closed the door on his face and decided to spend the next few hours self-destructing.

Fucking ramen.

Maybe if you could just lie there until you decomposed, then you wouldn’t have to have a conversation with him about this. That’s what you would have done a couple of months ago. 

But now the idea of communicating had been implanted and implemented several times before. It didn’t feel right to push it away, not when you’d come so far. A chance to heal.

You groaned, shoving a pillow onto your face before getting up grumpily. 

Fuck this man and his stupid, healthy methods of coping. 

___

You opened the door slowly, creeping into the hallway to assess what he was doing. It had been a few hours of silence in the house. He had given you space, not come knocking on the door to explain himself. 

You took note of the kitchen. The table had been laid with two bowls of noodles covered with a plate along with a glass each of juice. It was domestic. Cute.

He was watching Die Hard but the volume was turned down low. If he was anything like you, he wouldn’t have been paying too much attention.

You cleared your throat awkwardly to grab his attention.

His neck craned to look at you, surprise flashing across his face for a second before he leapt up, turning off the TV in an instant.

“Y/N,” he stated as normally as he could.

“Samuel,” your tone was steady. 

He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Wasn’t sure if you were gonna show up.” 

“Neither was I.” You looked at the table, gesturing towards it with your shoulder. “Watchu got there, Gordon Ramsey?”

Because screw him, but the longer you stood there staring at the bowl, you were starting to understand the lengths he went to to get something other than bread, peanut butter and soup. As much as the prospect of being petty thrilled you, you had survived on nothing but them for the past few weeks.

“Got a few packs of ramen and a gallon of juice from the store. Thought you- we deserve somethin’ nice.” You noticed his quick coverup but didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s not Michelin star worthy, but it’ll do.”

You nodded, avoiding looking at him.

“I-”

“Hey-”

Both of you started at the same time, only to be cut off by the other. You mentioned for him to continue.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I should have told you before I left,” You didn’t expect the sincerity that exuded from every word he let out and you found yourself unable to look away. “I’m not used to people worrying about where I go... but things are different now. I won’t do it again.”

You weren’t used to the feeling of lightness that accompanied an apology. Relief. 

“Thank you,” you said breathily. His face noticeably brightened. “But why’d you come back?”

His small smile left as soon as it came, as his face fell into a frown. “What?”

“You could have just left. You had the car, the-” you stopped yourself from listing out reasons why he should have. “Why’d you come back?”

He looked completely confused. 

“Because I wanted to,” he voiced. “Leaving you behind was never an option. I wouldn’t-”

He trailed off, eyes never leaving yours. 

“You’re stuck with me,” he urged softly. “We’re a team.”

You lingered on him longer than you wanted to admit. He wasn’t lying, you had realised. 

“Care to join me for dinner?” he asked, extending a hand to you.

You rolled your eyes but took it, feeling the heat creep up your neck. He smirked at you and fuck, he was frustratingly cute. 

You understood. You totally understood when you nearly died at the first bite you took, vowing to never take food like this for granted again. It may have been the absolute bare minimum; just the seasoning and noodles he had cooked in the microwave, but it was the best goddamn meal you ever had.

“Good, right?” He looked about as content as he could be. 

“Best fuckin’ day of my life.”

He kidded around some more. You choked out a laugh at some, wholly ignored the others to which he took complete offence. You saw it as a way to humble him.

This was the normalcy you had crushed your craving for so long ago, accepting that it wouldn’t ever happen. A normal dinner with someone who made you smile, no impending doom lurking around the corner and maybe a shot at a glimmer of something happy. 

It was strange that you found it with another hitman in a safe house, hiding from authorities and who knows what else, with food worth a couple of cents. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

Yet there were things that had to be discussed. Conversations that needed to happen.

“Sam, we need to talk about it.” You didn’t have to explain, he knew what you were talking about.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I need to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before saying anything,” you pulled away from him, shuddering at the sudden cold that enveloped you. 

“I’m listening.”

“We do,” he agreed, and you could feel the atmosphere in the room begin to shift. “But we don’t have to do it now.”

He reached across from where he was sitting, hesitantly interlacing your fingers. The sense of fluster you experienced wasn’t healthy, you decided.

You just ducked your head, fighting against the damn smile that was trying to make its way onto your face. You didn’t pull away.

“Okay.”

Next part

#sam x reader #sam wilson x reader #mcu fic #sam fic #sam wilson fic #sam wilson fluff #sam wilson angst #sam wilson series #falcon #falcon x reader #the falcon x reader #hitman!sam wilson #hitman!au #shut in fic #marvel fic #marvel #mcu #sam wilson #the falcon #sam wilson fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #sam wilson imagine #sam imagine

[shaalk]

Great morning

Type: Oneshot

Characters: Yixing X Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff

Warnings: Slightly suggestive

Status: Completed

Summary: It’s the day after Yixing and I got together so I know it’s not going to be a good morning, it is going to be a great one.

Words: 1429

I groan as the sunlight hits my face, forcing me awake. I squint my eyes to adjust to the bright light before cursing at myself for forgetting to draw the curtains the night before, or else I could have gotten a bit more shut eye. 

It is only 9:30am in the morning for crying out loud! 

However, I can't worry about sleeping in any longer because I suddenly recall what happened the night before: Yixing's and my confession to each other. 

We are finally together!

I reach out to my right for a warm figure only to be greeted by warm sheets instead, signalling that he had woken up not too long ago. I get up quickly, brush my teeth and skip out of my bedroom, excited to spend the day with my new boyfriend.

As soon as I exit my room, I am immediately greeted with the smell of fresh eggs being fried. 

My boyfriend is making us breakfast! 

I stand at the doorway of the kitchen, hiding myself to secretly watch Yixing cook. My oh my is it a sight to behold. 

He is standing in front of the stove with only a pair of boxers on. The sunlight filtering through the kitchen windows shine directly on his back, highlighting his milky pale skin. All I can think of doing is nuzzling my face in his broad back.

And that's what I do. 

I creep into the kitchen quietly and wrap my arms around his waist. I feel him jolt a little in shock but I just snuggle into his back, inhaling his musky scent and enjoying his warmth. I am slowly melting into the heat he is emitting when I hear him chuckle deeply, making his back rumble as well. 

"Xing-ah, you're so warm and comfy. I could stay like this forever," I mumble into his back as I tighten my arms around him.

He turns around and brings me into his arms, hugging me. 

"Good morning my princess" he greets as he kisses me on my forehead. "Slept well?" I nod my head giddily and shove my nose into his chest. 

Yixing takes it upon himself to card his fingers through my hair. We remain like this for a while, simply enjoying the comfortable silence and each other's warmth.

I could get used to mornings like this.

Soon though, the smell of something burning fills the air. 

"My eggs!" Yixing screams in horror as he turns back to the frying pan. 

I am overtaken by a fit of giggles right away.

Yixing kills the stove and grumpily throws the eggs away. They’re beyond burnt and there is no way to salvage them because they are black and crispy. I can see the male pouting, utterly sad that his once perfectly fine eggs are now in the bin. 

He glares at me, clearly upset that i’m still laughing at his kitchen mishap. 

"Ya! You made me burn my eggs and now you're laughing at me? You're so dead,” he declares as he cracks his knuckles.

Knowing my future, I quickly dash out of the kitchen not wanting to suffer from Yixing's tickle attack. I only make it to the living room which is literally beside the kitchen, when Yixing catches up to me and pushes me down onto the couch. 

He starts tickling me non-stop, enjoying the way I squeal and struggle to escape his attacks. I am wriggling around and tearing because his tickle assault is too much for me to handle. I keep screaming for him to stop but to no avail.

After a minute or so when Yixing thinks that he has tortured me enough, he stops digging his fingers into my sides. Instead, he holds me steadily by my waist so that he can catch my lips in his. 

Our breakfast is long forgotten on the kitchen table as we lay on the sofa even after our mini make out session for another activity. Things escalate rather quickly because Yixing and I soon find ourselves breathless after a morning workout. 

Normally I hate exercising, but the type I do with Zhang Yixing, not so much.  

We come down from our highs and moments later, Yixing flips the both of us so that he is lying on the sofa instead, while I am resting on top of him.

My head finds purchase on my boyfriend's chest, our legs comfortably tangled. Yixing's arms are around me and he is stroking my back softly, almost putting me to sleep. Our sweat is mixing but neither of us mind. 

Yixing runs his fingers through my sweaty locks while I stroke his chest, kissing it every few seconds. I just can’t get enough of him.

"You dressed for me?" He asks out of the blue. 

I am only wearing one of his shirts, which could easily pass as a dress for me. I watch Yixing’s eyes dilate significantly at the sight of me in his clothes. I just smile into his chest. 

"Anything for you Yixing-ah,” I whisper and peck his chest once more. 

His grip on my waist tightens signalling that my reply has tickled his fancy. 

Yixing must have loved my reply a little too much because in a flash, I am flipped over again so that he is straddling me, and the top I am wearing is flung across the apartment. 

Needless to say, it became an extremely stimulating morning for the both of us.

After one more round in the shower, Yixing and I decide to head out for breakfast (or lunch) since we are too exhausted to cook and have nothing to cook anyway. 

Also, Yixing says, and I quote, "I want to show my new girlfriend off to the world." 

So, we stroll hand-in-hand to a nearby popular brunch spot, just chatting about random things.

Even though Yixing and my relationship status has very recently changed from friends to couple, the atmosphere between us is not awkward at all. The conversations we share rarely come to a stop and even when they do, the quietness isn’t uncomfortable. I am really thankful for that because I usually find myself feeling uneasy when moments of awkward silence take place.

Upon reaching the unusually empty restaurant, we are able to be seated immediately. The waiter takes our orders after 5 minutes or so, and then Yixing and I are alone again. 

I am sipping on my glass of water when I catch sight of Yixing staring at me with a fond smile on his face. I try my best to fight the blush that is going to paint my cheeks but I am not able to. 

Yixing’s grin widens, extremely satisfied that he can manage to coax such a reaction out of me.

"What?" I ask, curious as to why Yixing has been staring at me for so long. 

"You're just,” Yixing starts and pauses. I raise my eyebrows, impatient to hear the rest of his statement. "Really pretty,” he continues with a shrug. 

I bite my lower lip, trying to control the wide and ugly grin that is creeping its way out. 

Yixing sniggers harder at my expression and I think I hear him whisper 'cute' under his breath but i’m not really sure because I am still feeling abashed from his previous statement.

Thankfully, our orders arrive, giving me a moment to calm down from Yixing's heart fluttering statement. 

My boyfriend whips out his phone and starts taking pictures of our food while I just sit back and let him do his thing. After all, taking pictures is his passion and forte. 

He is really good at it. 

I make a mental note to steal a picture or two from him after our meal to post on Instagram.

When I look back at Yixing, he is no longer taking pictures of our meal. Instead, his camera is pointed towards me. 

"Stop!" I panic-yell and reach over the table to cover his camera lens. 

I am in my worst state, no make-up on and not camera ready. Despite my complaints, I hear the shutter sounds continue. I start whining and pleading Yixing with my eyes.

Yixing pauses his photo-taking for a moment and pouts. 

"But baby, you know I like taking pictures of pretty things!" 

My mouth hangs open in shock at the cheesy comment, unable to believe that my boyfriend can make such a toe-curling comment. Deep down however, I am loving Yixing's remark because I can feel my heart pounding wildly.

This man is going to give me a heart attack!

A/N: Let me know what you think! Please drop a comment :)

#exo #exosnet #exowritersnet #exo fanfiction #exo scenarios #exo fic #lay #lay fanfiction #lay scenarios #lay fic #yixing #yixing fanfiction #yixing scenarios #yixing fic

[ninaahelvar]

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (11/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: WEDDINGS ARE A GREAT PLACE FOR DISASTER, DIDN'T YOU HEAR?? 👀👀👀👀

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

7:30am - Sansa: you guys….i look amazing 

7:31am - Jon: k? 

7:31am - Sansa: bitch dont ‘k’ me, i am a delight 

7:32am - Bran: your personality tho…

7:32am - Bran: 

7:34am - Arya: what if i said i look amazing

7:34am - Rickon: rare. Suspiciously optimistic. Must be true. 

7:35am - Robb: agree with the above sentiment

7:35am - Bran:  i believe her 

7:36am - Arya: i’m also wearing what sansa is wearing, so we’re both equally beautiful, now compliment the eldest daughter before i murder everyone

7:36am - Arya:  including you robb, don’t think I’ll go easy on you just cause you’re getting married 

 *~*~*

 7:40am - Sansa: 😘

7:40am - Arya: 😘

Arya threw her phone aside as she tried to think of shoes that she could get away with. The heels were a pale blue colour, but the height of them frightened her more than any other heel she was challenged with in her life. She’d be about Rickon’s height in them, which felt like a lot when she stood in front of her mirror. She knew she wasn’t tall, but the heels made it obvious that she was like a stunted idiot. 

But their height was going to be the give away that she wasn’t wearing said torture devices. Pulling the strap onto the back of her ankle, she stood with the cascading silk running over her body, and from once she thought of herself as a woman masquerading in the beauty, it had now become her - for that how she always saw herself. Her make up had been done that morning alongside Sansa, the two sisters chatting over coffee that was fuelling their lucidity. They were excited for the coming day. 

Arya and Sansa had come up with a code around others when regarding Gendry. If they wanted to keep Arya’s happiness a secret for a little while longer, he was referred to as Joe. He was Arya’s boyfriend, and that she was seeing that day, he was going to the wedding, but he wouldn’t be able to stay long. 

From the information Arya gathered before the two were separated, was that Sansa’s boyfriend wasn’t attending at all. Arya knew that was a lie because Theon was one of the best men. Maybe it was because he was forced to attend, not just being her date. Made sense to Arya. 

Then, Arya got changed. She slipped into the dress and was left to get her things in order. There were still a few hours between then and when the wedding was meant to start. The girls had gotten up early due to the excitement. It was the first time one of their siblings was getting married and it was exhilarating. 

Overall, she just wanted to see Gendry. 

Since the dress fitting, it felt like the two months flew by without a breath in between. It took away most of her free time with the planning and helping out where she could. So, less time for Gendry, less kisses and all around job. But they found some spare moments to hide away and enjoy the seconds they could spend with one another. 

It meant everything to her that he dropped just about everything to be by her side. 

Well, given that every time she messaged him, she said it was an emergency, and he came running - it meant he was doing his job correctly. But still, she loved watching his face fall from horror to joy when she stood coyly at a cupboard door. 

Arya sent a text. SOS. 

Gendry replied, asking to meet her round side of the palace. 

She knew his spot.

Picking up the ends of her skirt, she went racing down the steps, a smile pinned into her face and there wasn’t any use trying to hide it.

 *~*~*

 Gendry had shrunk away to the side, making sure that his position wasn’t compromised in his absence. It would only be for a few minutes. He just needed a second. With the wedding and everything, it became harder and harder to fulfill his role as personal bodyguard, as he was subjected to be an everything sorta guy. He was on perimeter, for the palace and the churches venue. It wasn’t far off the palace grounds, as a Stark wedding needed to be close to the Godswood for part of the ceremonies purposes. Gendry wasn’t subjected to know what any of that would entail.

So, for the short time, he allowed himself to smoke, to set the edge off and allow himself to relax. It wouldn’t be long before Arya got there, and sneaking one in wouldn’t hurt. She kept getting mad at him for the sudden habit, but it had been something he had tried to stop since he started his job. It was an old army thing that he hadn’t quite shaken - it just helped with nerves that wouldn’t shake loose. 

“I thought we agreed that the smoking was going to stop,” he heard a voice nearby. He turned, seeing a radiant visage in front of him. He had never thought Arya could look anymore beautiful than when she was in that ball gown all those months ago, but she had just kept stunning him every day. That day, in that dress, she was like a walking goddess, someone that had stepped out from heaven to grant him some form of miracle. 

“You look beautiful,” he said, cigarette still in between his lips. Arya walked the distance between them, taking the cigarette out, letting it drop to the floor and he lifted his heel to stamp it out instead of her heels. 

She grinned before she replied. “I know.” 

“You’re gonna be amazing today,” he said, reaching over to her, taking hold of her waist as he fell back against the wall. From his positon, they were nearly the same height, though Arya was still a few inches from him. Arya’s arms went up and around the back of his neck, falling into his easily. 

“You think so? All I’m really doing is standing around looking pretty,” she 

“You’re already doing it, so you’re gonna nail this,” 

“Shut up,” she said, sneaking into his space and kissing him. Gendry sighed as her lips touched his. 

The crawling sensation that ran up his spine made him feel queasy, that he needed to grab hold of the gun on his hip. Something was wrong but he couldn’t work out what. He pulled away from Arya, holding onto her hips tightly as his forehead rested against hers. “Hey, is something bothering you? I feel like somethings off?” 

“No? I feel fine,” Arya shrugged. Gendry couldn’t shake it, like something was in the air that clung to bad energy. Arya sighed, hand running up the back of his neck and fingers lacing into his hair, “come here,” she said, and before he could ask, her lips were on his again, more fully and deepening like she meant for it to lead back to her room. He couldn’t argue with that. Hands roaming around the back of her waist, he pulled her flush against her, hand sliding down her back and finding the round softness of her ass. “You nervous now?” she asked, pulling away. A need tugged at the pit of his stomach. 

“I’m going to lie and say no, because I want you to kiss me again,” he replied with a smirk.

“Your wish is granted,” she smiled before pulling him down once more. He guessed he was right - he was definitely there to grant him some form of miracle. 

 *~*~*

 As 9:30am came around, Gendry was in personal bodyguard role. They had to make a royal entrance, the church on the property, but in order to feel more open with the public - it was the first televised wedding, with almost full access to the people, after all. So, they were to do a full, formal parade out of the palace grounds before re-entering and welcoming all the guests. 

Gendry rode in Arya and Sansa’s car, the windows wide and the ability to see inside made Gendry’s stomach ache from all the possibilities. It didn’t matter though, as they continued on, waving to the people of the nearby town. Gendry even saw his mum out, waving frantically to his car. He smiled before returning to his concern. Overall, the entire thing went off without a hitch.

For Northern weddings, everything was different to what Gendry knew in the South. Regardless of family members part in the wedding, they needed to greet the bride or groom as a formed pack. Everything was about unity, especially family - the introduction of a new member was fital to the survival. There had been times in the past where Northerners wouldn’t attend their siblings wedding, as a sign of disrespect and ill-trust of the one entering the family. 

That wouldn’t be the case on that day. 

Each guard took their respective person down the aisle of the church. Robb was waiting alongside Jon, then it was Sansa and Sandor, then Arya and Gendry, followed by Bran and Pod, then finally Rickon and Osha. 

Robb was dressed in his military uniform, a bright red coat with a bright blue sash over his chest. Over his shoulders sat a traditional wolf pelt, synthetic fur as times changed, that all Starks wore - each gifted one when they were born and would use on certain occasions - marriage, birthdays, coronations, and finally when they were laid to rest. It was morbid, sure, but the North was built on traditions.

Along the way, Robb was making a grimacing face, the two sisters looking at each other before Sansa gestured to the side. From the corner of his eye, he saw the person that, under any other circumstance would have the girls screaming in joy, but they contained themselves. 

Arya reached into the pocket of her dress and quickly typed out something. His phone went off a moment later with the notification. Gendry checked, and rolled his eyes. 

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: IS FUCKING RICHARD MADDEN AT THE WEDDING?!?! IRGHWORIGOWR GUYS SOMEONE GET A SCREENSHOT I’M GONNA FUCKING DIE

Gendry pocketed his phone in his breast pocket once more, leaning down to Arya. “Stop tweeting about Richard Madden,” he whispered. Arya scoffed, putting her phone away and stopping as Sansa kneeled before Robb. 

“He’s right there, Gendry! How am I not meant to -” 

“We get it, he looks like your brother, but you have to admit, Maisie Williams looks a hell of a lot like you,” he reminded. 

“She wishes she looked like me,” she scowled, before moving off and Gendry moved to the wall. He had to stay there for the entire ceremony, unless he felt like Arya’s life was in danger. Any moment he was with her, his mind raced with that possibility, but he was on extra alert in case someone got ballsy for the occasion. 

His hands behind his back, he watched Arya stand next to her sister and brothers, the perfect line of Starks, authority ranging down the line. From his attention on Arya, Gendry heard a giggling close by and a cocky scoff at his side. Rolling his eyes, Gendry jabbed his elbow into Podrick’s side. 

“Please stop making eyes at the other royals here,” Gendry groaned under his breath. Pod shifted beside Gendry, turning to him as he rubbed at his side. 

“Not like they’d touch you with a ten foot pole,” Osha replied nearby and Gendry held in a laugh that desperately wanted to come out. Podrick straightened out and moved back to his original position to look at Bran in his chair. After the accident, it seemed like he became a little more reckless than before - wheeling himself back and balancing there, much to Rickon’s delight. 

“You’d be surprised how they want to touch me,” Pod said and both Gendry and Osha groaned in disgust. 

“God I wish I could use this gun on you and then myself,” Osha said, adjusting her uniform. Gendry always found that Osha didn’t like being a bodyguard - not for royalty anyway - she found the strictness of it all to be too confining, and dispised most of the people around her. She only really cared about Rickon, which got her in good graces with the King and Queen. 

“We’re not allowed to use our guns for personal use,” Podrick reminded.

“I don’t think that’s what they mean,” Gendry said, then poked his head out to see Osha,  “but he is right.” 

“Not like I’d ever get any repercussions for it,” she countered. 

Gendry raised his brow in surprise, nodding as he realised she was right too. “Stop making it seem like a fun idea.” He shook his head at it. 

She scoffed, fixing up her knotted bun when Rickon waved to her. “It is when Pod’s around.” 

It wasn’t long before music started to play, heads turned to the open doors, and the hundreds of people at the gates turned from average cheering to deafening wails of joy. Gendry took one look at Robb, who had to remain facing the opposite way, smile to himself. Jon leaned over, whispering something to him. It only made Robb laugh. 

Gendry wondered, in a very selfish way, if on his wedding day it would be like that, to be a spectacle in front of many, but joy filling him regardless of the attention. He would just be happy that Arya would be walking towards him, in whatever she would feel comfortable in, a beautiful and elegant woman that blew him away with every passing second. 

He hadn’t realised it when it was running through his mind, that marrying would entail Arya, and only Arya. It was selfish, and quite possibly cocky, but as he looked at her, her cheeks plump with rosy delight, he didn’t care. Gendry wanted to marry Arya Stark, the third in line for the throne, but her title meant nothing to him. It was just her. 

When she walked down, the voices and heads kept a good view of Talisa, but when she came into his line of sight, Gendry felt like Robb was a very lucky man. She was the perfect vision of a waiting bride and future royal all in one. 

Talisa wore a white dress with grey finishings, leaves and vines scattering the skirt, with the bodice resembling that of holding the whole garment together. It was something that a forgein bride would wear, as wolves were customary in the northern designs. What Talisa wore was exotic, regal, and the tiara that sat upon her head was wrapping vines meeting at the jewel - held together by two opposing wolves. It was the only wolf attire that she wore. 

In all, she looked like she were transitioning to a Stark, a slow and gradual way, though many of the royals considered her family already. Ygritte followed behind, flowers in hand as the bridesmaid. She forced a smile, seemingly uncomfortable with being a spectacle, but soon, she went to her place as a bridesmaid as Talisa went to next stage in her progress into becoming a Stark. 

At the foot of the alter, the Stark children greeted Talisa. A hand to the left side of the chest, a vow to love with all their hearts and welcoming her to the pack. They would kiss her cheek on either side and bow before going to their seat. Bran was unable to bow, per say, so instead, he let his head fall, to which Talisa kissed at his crown. When he looked back up to her, a bright smile, like one that he had been ashamed to show, came out in full force. 

Arya, who looked like she wanted to embrace Talisa more than just give her a sign of respect, beamed a smile and whispered something to her future sister in law. As Arya went to her spot beside Ygritte, followed soon after by Sansa. Jon was even given a moment of respect from Talisa before she was met by the King and Queen. King Ned had regained most of his mobility, but occasionally required a cane to help him around. On this day, he looked like a mighty King, proud and regal as any other healthy king. To that, Talisa knelt all the way to the floor, her dress fanning out, her head bowed to them as they rested hands on either shoulder, speaking good wishes upon her marriage. Then, as they departed for their seats, it was finally time for Robb to see his wife to be. 

When he turned, Gendry understood the joy, a smile breaking out onto Robb’s lips that captivated his entire face, making the wrinkles around his eyes even more pronounced. He chuckled as he saw her, and she did the same, their dignities lost to the joy they felt coming together in a union they had decided upon.  

The ceremony was as dragging as any other wedding Gendry had been to - they weren’t as exciting as others made them out to be. Yet, the intriguing part was a portion of the ceremony that was seen by only the bride and groom, their priest, and gods - to take place in the Godswood. From what Gendry remembered, it was very important that the Godswood was respected, as it would bless the couple with good fortune, children, and health throughout their marriage. He wasn’t sure what was said, but when they had returned, they held hands, bound together with a red ribbon, keeping their union together. 

The interesting part for Gendry was now, Talisa wore Robb’s cloak. It hung off her shoulders in a heavy garment, but she didn’t seem to mind. She still looked like she belonged amongst the family that stood before him. 

They exchanged a kiss for the public and cheers were heard roaring from beyond the church’s walls. Gendry smirked, joining in on the gathering applause for the newly wed. 

As the royals left the church, Gendry and the other guards all took stations to make sure they were secure as they made their way to the palace. It wasn’t a long journey by any means, but it was to be safe nevertheless. Once instead, they all moved to the top balcony, one in which the people waiting at the gates could see. Gendry waited inside the palace, keeping an eye on everyone as they passed through. Arya gave him a wink as she went through the doors and he smiled to himself. 

Then, as Robb and Talisa made their way onto the balcony, the people roared to life once more, celebrating the married couple. They kissed and embraced without restraint. It wasn’t common for royalty to be outwardly affectionate to the public, but they were - they couldn’t help themselves. Gendry knew, if he lived a different life, he’d always be seen with Arya, giving her every ounce of affection he had to offer her. 

Coming in from the balcony, the royal family were gathered, arranging when and where everyone was needed for coming photoshoots. Arya snuck to the pack of people alongside Gendry, hiding them from sight, and finally having a moment alone. In a split second between worry and longing, he reached down between them. Gendry held her hand, winding his fingers with hers in the depths of the crowd. In his mind, Gendry was hyper aware that people were around, but in the chaos of a loving day, he didn’t care. He wanted to hold hands with the princess that was his girlfriend. He wanted to love her as freely in public as in private. Looking up to him, fingers tightening around his own, her smile told him that she was feeling the same. 

The commotion of a coming opportunity to act like idiots the family was used to doing, Arya bound towards her siblings, and Gendry was whisked around to keep an eye on them all from the sidelines. With predictions on course, all the Stark siblings climbed over each other, posing with Talisa who joined in on the joy of being an idiot amongst idiots. When they decided they all had to climb on top of Bran’s wheelchair, Catelyn finally chimed in and got them to behave. 

After taking formal photos, they gathered downstairs in the ballroom for the guests that had arrived from nations far and wide. In the midst of the night, Gendry watched Sansa and Arya scream and pounce on a foreign Queen, who did the same when she saw the sisters. They laughed and joked before a brooding man hovered over the Queen’s shoulder. Gendry thought he was a bodyguard until he smiled to the sisters and Gendry was set at ease. He recognised the man. 

Khal Drogo.

 *~*~*

 In spite of knowing he was arriving for the wedding, Arya was knocked completely for a loop when Drogo hovered over Dany’s shoulder, then broke into a giant smile. 

“My little princesses!” he yelled, accent thick and broad, gathering Arya and Sansa into his arms and picking them effortlessly off the floor. He held them tight and hugged them with all the force his arms could muster. Setting them down, he focused on Arya first. “You’ve grown! Tiny angry one even fits in dresses,” he said, he flicked her nose when she pouted. “My fire cracker, how are you? Still ruling world?” he asked Sansa, raising his brow and making her laugh.

“Always,” she nodded, regaining composure and raising her chin. Drogo nudged the edge of her chin and she laughed again. 

“Tiny angry, still kicking ass?” he asked, leaning down to her. She punched into his shoulder, making him stand up straight again.

“Always.” She smirked. 

“Perfect. Love strong women,” he said, his english stunted, but passion was true to form as he looked at Dany with a fondness that none of her other boyfriends had ever shown her, “now! The wine!” he called. When there was little response, he began to chant. “Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!” 

“Khal!” Everyone turned to see Arya’s father almost charging across the room. 

“Ned! You half dead bastard, come here!” he yelled, Drogo picking up Ned just as briskly as he had picked up the petite women before. 

“Sorry, he doesn’t always know when to be quiet,” Dany laughed. 

“I’m sure,” Arya smirked. 

“You’re gross,” Dany scolded, and Arya couldn’t remove the smile from her lips.  

“Tell me I’m wrong,” she shrugged, and Dany shut her mouth quickly, a bright pink hue illuminating on her cheeks, “that’s what I thought.” Dany broke into a laugh, moving the distance between them and kissing Arya’s cheek, doing the same to Sansa. 

“It was lovely seeing you. I have to go rangle a giant man from killing your father.”  Her brow quirked and the girls laughed as they watched Dany almost racing over to their father and Drogo, who quickly tucked her underneath his arm and kissing at her crown. The admiration he held for her was so clear - a love that was so deeply rooted that neither of them could explain how it sprung about, but it was sprouting before they could question its origins.

During the rest of the afternoon and night, the family and guests gathered for dinner, and celebrated a true Northern feast. Arya would occasionally catch sight of Gendry who seemed confused by the feast, the one long table that made people jump up and walk around with food in palm. To him, it must have been strange, but it was everything that Arya had grown to know as fact over the years. 

When Robb and Talisa asked everyone back to the ballroom, the true party started, as the dance was a waltz for a short time, before the drinking brought everyone to their feet and dancing like the awful dancers they all were. Drogo showed off his amazing skills, as well as scaring half the elders of the Northern council. 

Romantic moments left Arya and Sansa sighing wistfully, pining for men they couldn’t be publicly seen with. Though, Arya wasn’t sure why Sansa hadn’t taken her relationship with Theon to the streets; he was a Lord afterall, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Arya, on the other hand, had to get through Gendry’s job and well...her mother, in order to go public. 

Arya, for the most part was happy with her happiness, for now at least. 

With drunks everywhere, Arya feeling a little tipsy herself, had been socialising amongst royals, lords, and friends that had been coming to such events for years. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw large arms flagging her down, waving wildly in her direction. Part of her thought it was Gendry, only to be met with a stumbling Drogo, moving towards her. 

“Tiny angry one, come here,” he said, a half drunk daze. Arya crept over to him, his arm over her shoulder as he whispered to her, “would you like to know secret?” 

“Yes,” she smiled, beaming up to him.

“I can speak your language perfectly, I’ve been faking it for years,” he said, a grin of a man that was proud of his accomplishments. All forms of drunk behaviour faded away. Arya stared up at him in shock.

“What? Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Because no one...will ever believe you,” he said, pulling away slowly, grinning to her, and maintaining eye contact.

“You sick son of a bitch,” Arya spat. When she was about to accost him for being an absolute prick all these years, when they both saw Dany waving him over. 

“Khal! Come here!” she called, and he smirked, wandering over like he had done to Arya not a moment before.

“I come moon of my life!” he said.

“I will expose you!” Arya shouted, Drogo turned with an exaggerated shrug. 

“I know not what that means!” he said, laughing as he raced over to Dany. 

All night, she realised, she had been watching Drogo and Dany; the love that they gave without hesitation, unbridled affection that never seemed to end - it was their first public outing, and yet, there wasn’t an ounce of fear among them. It made Arya jealous.  

Glancing around, she saw Gendry whisper to Pod, who nod and let Arya’s bodyguard walk away. Sneaking off to follow him, she watched as he had rounded a corner out the back, and lit a cigarette. Before he could get anything from it, Arya stepped into his line of sight, and spoke. 

“You shouldn’t sneak away,” she said, and Gendry snapped his attention to her like he had that morning, a bright smile forming on his face. Arya, once again, walked the distance between them and dropped the cigarette to the floor. “And you know smoking makes me want to kiss you less,” she reminded. She expected Gendry to huff out of the loss of his secret habit, but instead, he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her into him.

“Sorry. I promise I’ll stop,” he said, forehead resting against her own.

“You should. Otherwise you won’t be able to get to do this,” Arya’s voice trailed off into a whisper before she shoved him hard back against the wall and forced her lips to his. Gendry gave into it easily, giving as much as he got in return, hands tightening into her waist before they slid down her back, fumbling with her dress, riding it up her leg. Every trace of his fingers on her skin was electrifying for her, sending her into a frenzy to get more of him in such a short kiss. 

Gendry pulled away, though Arya had doubts that he truly wanted to do that. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this in public,” he panted, hand still firm in her ass. She didn’t care, the way his other hand raked up her dress was enough to have her eager for more. Pulling on his collar, she urged him off. 

“Then, take us somewhere private,” she said, kissing him again, teeth nipping at her lip as she deepened it the way she wanted. Why did he have to be the way he was? It drove her nuts, that she needed to be under his clothes and have him be with her, bare and free of everything that gave them names. Naked, alone together, in a bed that would only hold the two of them for a short time; they weren’t a princess and her bodyguard, they were just two people that loved one another without hesitation. 

“Arry,” Gendry panted, and Arya whined. 

“Gendry, move your ass.” 

“Get here,” he snarled, tugging her up from the ground, holding her bridal style with ease. She squeaked as she fell into his arms, and he smiled. “Can’t have a princess walking around with those tender ankles,” he teased out their forthcoming lie if they needed it.

“You’re an idiot,” she said, kissing him before he took them to her room. 

She had doubts that when they arrived, the passion and tension between them would still be firing, until they got there and the time lapsed was like nothing. Gendry put her back on her feet and kissed her as feverishly as she had outside. They scrambled over her room, tripping over themselves before landing at her chest of drawers. Gendry dug around in her draw, getting one of the remaining condoms and took his cock from his trousers. It took little prompting to have Arya up on the drawers and Gendry adjusting her underwear to the side, as he stole a heated kiss, he drove into her, making her pull away and moan with all the air left in her chest.

They were desperate for friction, for the other to just reach their end before they eventually caved. It was always a challenge with them, one that they both thrived on. Caring was a hopeless affair, as she clawed at Gendry’s back, panting as he made her chest of drawers rattle with the force of each thrust. With their bodies coming together, they kissed one another, breaking apart the moans that would have definitely kept the room a fountain of nonstop sex noises. 

But they didn’t care, as their lust out won them both, colliding together until they were panting for more. Arya came apart first, nails clutched into the back of Gendry’s neck as she held back her moan with lip between teeth. Gendry snapped his hips to hers in one final motion before he stilled for a few moments, breathing in hard puffs before his fingers came loose, no longer binding into her with desperation, but held her in affection, love, care. All wrapped up into their silent moment of breathing together. 

“I love you,” she panted, cheek resting on his shoulder before he cupped her cheek and stared into her eyes. 

Gendry kissed her over and over again, whispering words that made her heart flutter more than the sex did. “I love you too.”  

Everything else didn’t matter. 

It was only them. 

That’s all that mattered. 

In that moment, anyway. 

 *

 Arya sat down at the table for family breakfast, head and thighs aching. Everyone, including Robb and Talisa, were slumped in their seats, nursing coffees in silence in an attempt to quiet the pounding drums in their heads. The table was loaded with eggs, toast, fruit and cereals, everything you could want first thing in the morning, but Arya's stomach called for carbs, anything that could absorb whatever alcohol was left in her system. Either she was still swimming in it or she was still riding the high from last night, regardless, her body was barely functioning and she has never been more grateful for the closed curtains around the room.

Robb and Talisa sat opposite Arya - they were set to leave for their honeymoon the day after next, as Talisa wanted to go to a medical conference, but the date of the wedding had already been set. Not one to argue with his fiance, now wife, Robb agreed and they planned their honeymoon around Talisa’s wishes. It warmed Arya’s heart, but also made her want to throw up with how cute they were acting with one another over breakfast. Maybe that was the hangover still speaking, but she couldn’t have been sure. 

Rickon had been tossing his cereal over and over again, a grim look on his face 

Arya’s phone started to go off to everyone’s annoyance. 

“Family breakfast, Arya! No phones,” Jon groaned, head down on the table, Ygritte patting his back, and eating her breakfast like it was no problem. She drank Jon under the table like it was nothing. She matched with Drogo once, but the Starks hadn’t known her then - probably one of the reasons Jon loved her so much. 

“Sorry, it’s the twitter account. I left it on after Richard Madden hugged Robb last night,” Arya said with a mouthful of bread. 

“Did you post about it?” Robb groaned and Talisa giggled, remembering it just as clearly as Arya and Sansa had.

Sansa laughed, tossing over her eggs once more before putting the bacon between her teeth. “You should see how much people are freaking out.” 

“You sure Robb doesn’t have a twin,” Rickon asked, the family turning to Ned and Catelyn. Ned grinned over his coffee, and Catelyn groaned. 

“I gave birth to him, so yes, I’m sure, now eat your breakfast. And turn off your phone, Arya.” 

Arya nodded, putting her phone on silent, seeing the first notifications roll over her screen, and her curiosity was taken.

@wetbreadoffical: is this deadass???? #gendrya

@wetbreadoffical: @TheRoyalMemeFamily are yall forreal???

@wetbreadofficial: the clouds have parted, the sun shines through and princess arya has found love on this beautiful day

@aryastanstark: @TheRoyalMemeFamily OIEBDFOIERWG THIS CANNOT BE REAL, RIGHT?! @AryaStark @GendryWaters

@gendryaisreal: @TheRoyalMemeFamily WE FUCKING WON! We stand legends only 

@brekkersgendryl: @TheRoyalMemeFamily ARE MY FUCKING FAVES REALLY? We thrivin

@brekkersgendryl: if people are really trying to start shit like he’s doing this cause she’s royal never saw him at that event, himbo was all heart eyes SKJSJSHDB

@wetbreadofficial: u know when u remember that princess arya has found love and u just :')))

Arya’s brow furrowed as she tried to click on links, hand going over her mouth as she saw the headline. It was the worst thing she could have read that day. It couldn’t have been real. Could it? Maybe she was still dreaming? Fuck, this was bad. 

Putting the Body in Bodyguard

Under the headline were scattered photos from over months, secret moments that Arya thought were for only her and Gendry. The last few that were shown were ones that her mother would gasp at - Gendry groping into her backside, his hands hiking up her dress, him carrying her off to the palace. 

The article could have said a million things, saying all they wanted about Arya, all they wanted about Gendry, but it was too late - the world knew. 

Panic set over her entire body, and she couldn’t breathe suddenly, like her vision became tunnelled and everything around her meant nothing but the article that sat in front of her. 

Something had been off for months, and they both knew, and did nothing. 

Gendry. 

“No no no no no,” she muttered to herself, the chorus of her family’s voice asking if she’s alright.

“Arya, what is it?” her mother asked, Sansa leaning over to her to see the article.

“Shit,” she swore as Sansa mumbled the same sentiment. “shit!” Arya said, combing her hands through her hair. Arya shoved herself away from the table, pocketing her phone as Sansa got hers out, sending around the article. She watched as her siblings went tight lipped, and immediately sympathise with her. There wasn’t judgement, just worry. They all felt it. The urge of panic that came with this part of their lives. 

Her mother snapped at her. “Arya, please watch your -” 

“I have to go,” Arya yelled back, running out of breakfast and trying to remember the winding halls of her home. In the end, she just ran wherever her feet would fucking take her. 

 *

 TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

9:26am - Jon: Gendry and Arya?

9:26am - Sansa: Please keep up

9:27am - Robb: ...but the newspaper have just….

9:27am - Sansa: hence her freak out, KEEP UP!

9:28am - Jon: wait you knew?

9:29am - Bran: everyone knew, stupid 

9:29am - Rickon: even I knew, and I don’t get told anything 

9:30am - Sansa: you know what this means 

9:30am - Jon: please dont

9:31am - Sansa: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:31am - Rickon: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:32am - Robb: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:32am - Bran: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:34am - Jon: fuck you guys

9:45am - Jon: arya not replying isn’t a good sign is it?

9:41am - Sansa: no it isn’t

9:41am - Sansa: high alert, starks. High alert 

 *

 By the time all of her hiding places were searched and gone up in smoke, she pasted by the security offices, seeing the commotion of those around. In a split moment between wondering if she should ask them, she turned to see Brienne with Gendry on her heels. He looked like a mess, his uniform out of order, tie tugged almost completely out of its knot, and his hair was far from professional looking. 

Arya’s stomach twisted. 

She ran to him regardless. 

“Gendry!” she said, latching her hand onto his wrist, trying to pry him from the situation. 

“Not now,” he grumbled, pulling her hand from his arm. She tugged on him again, making everyone come to full stop. 

“Please don’t shut me out,” she whispered, her hands touching at his face, making him look at her. His eyes were dark - they lost their spark. He wasn’t the Gendry she knew anymore. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” 

“Arya,” Brienne started, “please move away from Gendry.” 

“Brienne, this isn’t -” 

“Princess!” Brienne raised he voice, and for the first time ever, Arya jumped at the sound of it. “Move, please,” she asked once more, and Arya stepped back. Gendry looked forward 

“Arya, come here,” a voice asked behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she saw her mother, a scowl written into her features. 

“I’ll wait right here for you,” she said, looking back to Gendry, trying to reach for him. In the second where they could, he reached back towards her, fingers lingering on hers before it faded from her skin. 

“Arry, just go with your mum,” he said, and turned to go with the rest of the security officers. 

“Arya, come here right now,” her mother warned, and Arya swallowed, watching the door slam and everything had changed for them. Turning to her mother, it was clear that whatever was going to happen, Arya was in for an earful. Dread set in. 

They were taken to her mother’s office, and as she sat on the side of the desk, Arya craved her father’s presence. Did he even want to look at her after thought pictures? He had to have seen them if her mother had. He was the king, everyone told the king every small detail of people’s lives, especially his children. Gods, the look her mother was giving her in that moment made Arya truly want to be sick. 

Sansa sat next to Arya, holding onto her hand with all the force a supportive sister could muster in her palm. It didn’t lessen Arya’s nerves. 

“You’ve made a spectacle of our entire family,” Catelyn huffed, folding her arms after she turned her computer screen towards the sisters. “on the day of your brother’s wedding.” Of course the day half of the pictures were taken would rattle her mother - taking away from the future king was awful according to her mother. 

Arya shouldn’t have thought that, they were both frustrated, and her mum was just taking aim at what was already gaining the family attention. 

“I’m not going to be judged for the company I keep,” Arya said, trying to sound defiant, but all she could think of was the look on Gendry’s face. He looked so broken. 

“He is not company! He is here doing a job, and you two decided to jeopardise that for some flirtatious behaviour,” Catelyn snapped, her hand going to her forehead. 

“Mum, I don’t think you can call it that. I think it’s more than -” 

Sighing, she looked to her eldest daughter. “Sansa, you’re in an equal amount of trouble for keeping this from me.” 

Sansa stood up to her mother, something she rarely did. Walking to the desk, Sansa planted her hands on the hardwood and stared down their mum. “Why should I tell you when Arya loves someone? It’s not like she ever did that to me. It’s a personal matter, and it was hers to figure out on her own! I’m not going to make her feel like falling in love is against royal protocol.” 

“Falling in love with her bodyguard is against protocol.” 

“Whose? Did you make a law that Arya falling in love with whoever she wanted to was wrong?” Sansa snarled, anger billowing high. “Mum, I know you don’t mean to, but Arya isn’t a lady. She’s never been that way, and controlling her is like controlling the wind. You’re causing more harm to her than you are mending anything. If you made it -” 

“Sansa, it’s ok.” Arya interrupted, her voice so weak, she was afraid it wasn’t going to come out. 

Wither hands in her lap, she picked at her skin, wishing that her heart would stop hammering away in her ribcage, but it was too late for that. Swallowing down fear, looking up at her mother and wondering if she could still love her after all of this. She hoped she would. 

“Mum, all I did was fall in love. Sure, I didn't mean for it to happen, and I sure as hell wish it wasn't my bodyguard, but only because of his job. If he wasn't my bodyguard and we had met differently, I can tell you right fucking now, I’d feel exactly the same. And he’s still doing his job of protecting me. It's not like it's stopped him, to be honest he's somehow even better than before! 

He's my best friend. And my boyfriend. And the love of my life. Neither of us planned it and we sure as hell fought it, because we were scared. Not of being in love, I have never been scared of being in love. But we know the risks, Mum. I'm not an idiot and neither is. I'm scared of your reactions and the public's reactions, but mostly I'm scared of losing him and it being my family's fault.”

“Arya,” she started before she sighed, and relaxed back into her chair, annoyance running over her. “I wish you would have told me. So I could prepare myself for the mess that has come.” 

Arya scowled, watching as her mum reached over her desk, planning something out - that she was going to repair this somehow. “Was I always going to be a mess in your eyes?” 

Catelyn sighed again. “That wasn’t what I meant.” 

“I know what you meant. But you never have seen me as perfect. You’ve always seen me as something you should fix,” Arya shot back. 

“Arya, please don’t twist my words.” 

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Arya waited, to which Catelyn opened her mouth to defend herself. It closed quickly and Arya scoffed. “You can’t though, because what do you do every day? You check to see if I’m the perfect little princess, scowling when I’m not. I’m just Princess Arya, the girl that fights, the girl that runs away from home and talks with the people. I’m just me.” 

“I know you are,” Catelyn said, reaching out over her desk for Arya’s hand. 

She ignored it. “Then why does it feel like you hate me?” 

“Arya, I -” 

“I need to find Gendry,” Arya said, getting up and walking out of her mother’s office. The feeling in her chest was a hollow one, spite winning over her in a moment of pain. 

Racing back to the bodyguard offices, she waited for only a few minutes before Gendry came out, he looked worse than when he went in, but in complexion only - a different man than she had ever known. 

“There you are!” Arya said, going to his side, but Gendry walked as if she wasn’t even there. She pursed her lips and followed after him. 

“Arya, go back to your parents, I need to get out of here,” Gendry said, tugging on his tie until it came loose and he took it off, shoving it into his pocket and trying to find something in his other pockets. 

“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” Arya asked, walking beside him as he finally got his phone. 

“Take a fucking guess what the problem is,” he snapped, looking at the screen of his phone, stopping as he read something. He went pale and Arya felt her heart spasm. Gods, this wasn’t happening. She was downright scared. Arya was never scared. 

“We can figure this out. It’s going to be hard at first, but I promise it’ll be worth it,” Arya tried, but as Gendry looked to her, she knew something was so far gone, that the rage that had built within him was going to tear him apart. Or worse. 

“You don’t get it, Arya! You are constantly in the spotlight, and now so am I, and my mum too. We aren’t like you, we don’t have people protecting us from danger! We’re going to get harassed, and there’s nothing we can do.” 

“Gendry, we’ll work it out, just -” 

“No! I’m not doing this,” he shouted, and Arya held her breath, binding his fists. 

“Doing what?” 

Gendry looked over her face, scattering for the words. “I’m not...We’re not…” 

“Don’t.” She stopped him, heart pounding in her chest. “I know what you’re doing and think about this,” she warned him.

“I have. I have to think about my family.”

“I could be your family!” she shouted back, moving into his space, trying to hold his hands. He didn’t truly know what she was asking of him. 

Gendry stepped back, pulling away. “Don’t make me choose between you and my mum, Arya,” he said, voice soft. 

“I’m not!” she begged. It was the last one that would come out of her lips. 

The look in his eyes told her enough, the words that would tear them apart were close, but she knew he’d never say them. He’d break her heart more easily than that. 

“I'm sorry, Arya.” Gendry walked away, slow and hurt, no pride or dignity in the way he moved. 

“Coward!” she yelled. Gendry stopped for a moment before he continued off. Arya didn’t mean it. She was just scared. And she knew, that whenever he walked away from her, her heart was going to break. 

Above it all, Arya never thought she’d die of a broken heart, but now it seemed all the more real. 

Gendry broke her heart, and she’d never be the same again.

#gendrya #gendrya fic #my fics #got fic #arya x gendry #gendry x arya #chivalry fell on its sword

[delectablyalicee]

Nick Jonas’s New Assistant (Part 9) (Warning: Mentions of Smut)

Part 1  Part 8

You get a call one day, someone asking you to fill a personal assistant job. They give you little information as to who for, but when you found out, things get a little more interesting.

This is the first day back to things being "normal" after I made my deal with Nick. Once he disappeared up the stairs I went back to my apartment. I had thought all night about what he meant by "the game begins." Nick isn't one to back down from a challenge, and now that I agreed to this deal I know he isn't going down easy. I guess it's just going to be a fight over who wants it more. Problem is, I am already close to cracking, close to confessing how much I love him, and now it's going to be even harder to keep that in, but I'm certainly going to try.

I grin when I walk out the door of my apartment and see George, I give him a tight hug before we make our way into the car. We spend the drive to Nicks house talking about how the date with his wife went. I was glad because it kept my mind off of how terrified I am to show up today. This whole thing is going to take a lot of willpower that I am not sure I have, but I guess we will see.

Once we get to Nick's I thank George and slowly slide out of the car. Taking a deep breath and smoothing out my clothes and hair before finally walking up to the door. I open it slowly, and thankfully the house is like it usually is, empty. No parade of flower petals leading me up the stairs or a band singing love songs in the living room, just Nick's normal house. I breathe a sigh of relief, stepping all the way inside. Today at 9:30am Nick has an interview, then a lunch at noon with his tour manager, and at 3:30 a photoshoot to help promote the tour. Then, after that at 6:30 we have dinner with Paul to discuss the meeting with the tour manager. So, in short, we have a packed day and there will be no escaping early. As I've said so many times before, I love my job, but I know today isn't going to be easy.

I look at my watch, its 8:30am. I set my bag down on the counter and start the coffee like usual before making my way up to Nick's room. It's honestly impressive that he never gets himself up, but it's all part of the job I guess. I knock on the door before cracking it a bit, I can see into the room enough that I see him still lying in bed, I let out a small sigh of relief when I see he's alone (an honestly rare sight). I know it would be better for me right now if he wasn't alone, if there was a girl naked in his bed like usual, but despite the fact that I wish it didn't, it would still hurt me if there was.

"Nick, its 8:30, we have somewhere to be at 9:30" I speak confidently, like I usually would. I'm not going to let anything that has happened waver me or hinder the way I do my job.

He groans, rolling over and letting his tired eyes flicker open. He speaks in a groggy voice, "okay okay, I'm coming."

That's all. That's all he says. I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't really think "the game begins" would be this, although I am so grateful for it. "Okay, hurry up." I say before happily making my way down the stairs. This might be easier than I thought.

I'm already sipping my coffee, going over a few things for the day when Nick heads down the stairs. I look at the clock. 8:50am. Perfect. I hand him his coffee mug without taking my eyes off of my phone. A small thanks drifts through the air, but I still don't look.

"What is going on at 9:30?" His voice finally pulls my eyes off my phone screen and onto him. Does he really not know? Unlike him.

"Interview. The interviewers name is Kathy, the questions should mostly be regarding your newest album and the tour we're working on."

He just nods, sips at his coffee and pulls his phone from his pocket. At this point, I don't know if I should be relieved or terrified, but I am going to go with the benefit of the doubt and try my best to stay relieved.

The car ride was normal, like it always is. Nick and I just talking like best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. When we pull up to the studio where the interview is at, we have to drive carefully through tons of screaming teenage girls, guards on either side trying their best to hold them back. This is something I still haven't gotten used to. It's so normal for us, but still so strange. I think this is also another reason I don't want my relationship with Nick to change. Can I handle how much pure hatred is going to be thrown my way just for loving him? I decide not to think about it too much and focus on prepping Nick for some questions that may come up during his interview.

We do the typical swift run inside past fans and are greeted with smiles from the crew waiting inside. I am watching Nick get ready. He is just acting so normal. Way too normal. It's throwing me off. It's kind of like I don't know what to do with myself. I expected something so grand, and I got normal, but isn't that what I wanted? Wait, is this what he wanted? To get me all in my head? Ugh. I don't know and I fucking hate this.

I'm startled by a hand being placed on my shoulder, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you, just wanted to ask if we can go ahead and start." It's the production manager.

"Oh yeah, of course. Sorry I was a little zoned out there" I laugh softly.

Nick looks at me, gives me a small wink and steps on stage. Again, being way too fucking normal.

The interview wraps, and we make our way back out of the studio. Nick had me arrange for more security to join the ones that were already here because he wanted to take some time to meet with fans and take photos, but without enough security its dangerous. Once we step outside the screams erupt. It's almost deafening. I really should start carrying earplugs around with me.

As I'm standing back, watching him take pictures and sign things I notice large flashing lights, paparazzi. Another thing that's hard to get used to. At things like this they are usually pretty tame, but sometimes the following you everywhere and screaming at you gets to be too much. It's a big chunk of the reason when Nick and I hang out with stay at his place. Paparazzi is everywhere even without you knowing it. One time, we were craving ice cream at like 1:30 in the morning so we ran to the gas station maybe 5 minutes away from his house and the next morning there were at least 25 pictures of us literally just getting ice cream. The backlash of it didn't help much either. This was early in me being his assistant so not many people knew of me, meaning that dating rumors were swirling, and I was getting hate thrown my way left and right. We had to make a public statement that I was his assistant just to get it to stop. It was kind of a mess. I couldn't even imagine what I would have to deal with if we were actually dating.

After a while of meeting with fans we make our way into the car. We are, thankfully, perfectly on time. "So, how are you feeling about tour coming up?" I ask him.

He shrugs a bit. "I love tour, it's fun to travel and meet new people everywhere you go, but it's also the most stressful thing on the planet." He laughs, "I'm sure Paul will do some sessions to prepare you for it, but I know you can handle it."

I've never been on tour with anyone. The only other people I have worked for have been boring business men, so the most fun we had was company parties. This life is so new to me and tour life is even newer, but I'm also kind of excited. I know it will be crazy, but how bad could it be traveling with my best friend? Also, the guys in his band are so fucking cool. But I hope he is right, I hope I can handle it.

When we get to lunch we are greeted with big hugs from his tour manager, we have met with him quite a few times over the past few months, since tour is getting closer and closer, so we have definitely gotten to know each other a bit. He is a super nice guy, and super funny, always cracking jokes. The lunch stays mostly business since we are on a time crunch, with the photoshoot being soon. Usually, if we have time the 3 of us sit and talk for hours, but this time its quick and to the point and we are off to the next thing.

I am sitting across the room from nick as the crew is getting him ready for the photoshoot. I am trying to get some talking points together for our dinner with Paul, but I can't concentrate. Nick is sitting in the chair with his shirt off and I can't take my eyes off of him. I just keep thinking about the other night, our bodies pressed together, his length filling me up and pounding into me, me practically begging him to never stop. I shake my head. No Y/N stop it. I can't think about that...man is it going to be hard to not think about that... He eventually stands up and he catches me staring at him, he gives me a little wink before speaking loud enough that I can hear him from across the room.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." I know he's doing this to fuck with me. I lift my hand, shaking my head and flipping him off. He laughs before being whisked away by the crew.

I'm watching the photoshoot now and he looks so fucking good, my mind drifts off a bit once again. It's like I can hear his groans in my ear again, him telling me so sternly to cum for him, my legs are practically shaking just at the thought. Fuck. This is not good. I pull myself out of my head and try my best to get back to work.

"I saw you staring at me during the photoshoot." The words catch me off guard, but I try to not let him notice that. We are in the car on the way to dinner. I don't say anything back and pretend to stay focused on my work, but he speaks again. "You know, you really can take all the pictures of me you want, just to remember me by, of course." He speaks teasingly, and I roll my eyes, finally shooting a retort at him.

"I think I'm okay on that, I sadly have to stare at your face too much already."

He laughs, "Oo okay, that one hurt, I can't lie, but..." He leans in closer to me and then lowers his voice so only the two of us can hear "I don't know if that's what you were thinking when you were begging me to fuck you harder the other night." My breath hitches. That, I definitely wasn't expecting. The throbbing between my thighs is back but I try my best to ignore it. I need to think of something to say back and I need to think of it quick, but it's hard when all I want to do is jump on top of him and have him fuck me until I can't take it anymore, but instead I playfully push him away from me and snap back with an annoyed, yet joking tone, "ah, ya see, I was just being nice that night. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

He leans back even further, clutching his heart dramatically "Wow, that one stung." He drops his hand. "Good thing I know it's a lie. I just hope all that staring at me means you're thinking about it, because I certainty spend a lot of my time thinking about" His words come out so nonchalantly. The throbbing between my thighs is growing more intense and the thought of him just simply thinking about fucking me is driving me insane.

'Not a lie." Is all I can manage to say.

Dinner went smoothly and quickly, so we get back to Nick's at a decent time. The second we are both out of the car I am swooped up off of my feet. I small terrified noise leaves my mouth before I realize it's Nick. Once I do I can't help my laugh and try to squirm away from him.

"I'm sorry but what the fuck are you doing?" I say in between attempts to make him set me free.

He's just laughing. Honestly, I'm not trying too hard to get away, his arms wrapped tightly around me being something I am not mad about in the slightest.

"Will you quit." He says, walking us up to the house. "I was just making sure you didn't try and run away to your apartment already."

I would've too. I would've got right into the front seat and had George take me home. But I lie "Well, number one, I wasn't going to run away, and number two, please put me the fuck down."

He puts me down but only once we are inside. I give him a clearly joking yet still angry look as I try and straighten myself out. "You know, we are adults, you could have asked me nicely to stay."

"Yeah, but where is the fun in that?" He speaks with a wink, heading into the living room.

We watch movies all night and the feeling of normalcy is something I needed. We just had fun and cracked jokes the whole time while stuffing our faces with snacks. I didn't realize until now that I truly really, really needed this. I wasn't just scared of what Nick was going to be like today, but I was scared if we could even act kind of normal around each other, but tonight means we can and that is giving me so much hope that everything is going to be okay.

I have to call it quits around 1 am, I have to be back here early and while I would normally stay here, with this little deal we have going on I am not risking it. Nick walks me to the door, but as I am about to walk out of it he stops me. I turn to him, thinking I forgot something, but once our eyes meet his hands are gently placing themselves on my cheeks. He isn't saying anything, he's just looking at me and I am looking right back. My heart is practically melting. I wish I could just tell him how I feel, but I don't. I just keep looking. We are like this for a few seconds before I see his eyes sadden. I want to grab him, to do anything and everything to take his sadness away, but I don't move.

"Nick..." I speak softly.

He doesn't say anything. His hands drop from my cheeks and he steps back, but I don't move. It's like my body won't let me turn away from him, won't let our eyes pull from each other. It takes ever ounce of myself to finally turn away from him. It's like I can feel pieces of my heart falling to the ground.

Now it's clear. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

#Nick Jonas #nickjonas #nick Jonas x reader #nick jonasxreader #love #falling in love #fallinginlove #jonas brothers #Jonas #joe jonas #Kevin Jonas #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fluff #romance #romantic #y/n #nick Jonas x y/n

[tofuchi]

My cousin told me I was ready for a companion but not a relationship. She said it with the best intentions and she wanted what’s best for me. She said she was happy that I was happy, genuinely happy. But she said I needed to be single for a little while. But then she followed it with, “but the again, I’ve basically never been single, and I’ve been with R— for almost eleven years, a few months after N—, who I was with for four years. I just want what’s best for you.”

That’s been stuck in my head because I know she said it with love. She loves me a lot and does want what’s best for me and she’s honest with me. She doesn’t pad her thoughts and feelings with humor like the rest of our family.

I’m happy in this new relationship but I realize that I’m a very different person. Going into this relationship, I told my SO countless times that I didn’t want to end up the way I was in my previous relationship. I lost my identity and when people would ask what I liked to do, I didn’t have an answer. I would work or go to school and come home and do nothing with my boyfriend. My only activity not related to work or school was running. That was literally it. So now I’m into CrossFit and it’s my thing. It’s a place I entered completely on my own and where I was forced to create completely new relationships on my own. I’ve made friends and I’m proud that I did it on my own. My cousin told me she was proud of me for going on my own, knowing no one, and learning and failing on my own with only strangers for support. One night while my mom was at a conference in California, my SO and I planned to make dinner. It was a Wednesday (a regular CrossFit day for me). I insisted on going to CrossFit and by the time I got home and showered, it was 9:00, almost 9:30. By the time my SO came over and cooked dinner, it was 10:15 when we ate. He was irritated and told me the next day that he wished he’d asked me not to go to CrossFit so we could have fully enjoyed that evening together. He said I made him feel less important than CrossFit. And I understand that now. But I’m doing it again. He’s playing at Anna O’Brien’s tomorrow night and we usually eat dinner in town before his shows. I told him that since I didn’t go to CrossFit on Halloween (to spend time with him and watch Hill House on Netflix all night), I wanted to go tomorrow. He said okay, but I can tell he doesn’t want me to go because he wants to spend time with me. But I told him I’m going. And I’m going.

My best friend works in retail and never really knows when he’ll be off the same time as me. He’s asked me twice about going hiking and both Sundays, I’d already had plans. This Sunday, my SO and I had planned to go hiking. My best friend asked about hiking on Sunday since he’s off, and I said the SO and I were going but that he could come. I asked my SO if my best friend could come, and he said he’d wanted it to be a hiking date, but that my best friend was welcome to come. I was slightly irritated by that so I basically told him I was now reserving Sunday for my best friend and overwriting our preestablished plans and that we could go hiking on Saturday or wait until next weekend if he wants it to be just us. He said he wants my best friend to come so they can really meet. In my previous relationship, I was an awful friend. I flaked on all of my friends, even my best friend. My best friend called me out on it on a couple occasions too and this time, I promised him I’d be a better friend and I mean it. My best friend, whom I’ve known since I was 12 and who has always been there for me even though I was rarely ever there for him, is more important to me right now than a romantic relationship. I love them both, but in different ways. My best friend told me to tell him that I wouldn’t be a flake in this relationship and I told him I wouldnt, and I meant it. And I didn’t feel at all bad about telling my SO that it was either the three of us or just me and my best friend on Sunday and us on a different day, even though we’d planned to go on Sunday. My best friend is one of the most important people in my life, and I want to make sure my best friend knows it this time.

I’m also making the conscious effort not to spend every waking moment with my SO. He wants to take all of my time on the weekend since that’s the only time we can really spend quality time together, and he always wants me to sleepover, but I’ll fight him on it sometimes. I’ll just tell him I don’t want to sleepover and I’ll go home at 2:30am when I need to wake up for work at 5:30am and could really just spend the night at his place and get a full night’s rest instead of waking up in the middle of the night just to drive home. I never made the conscious decision to move in with my ex — my stuff just ended up there. Our relationship evolved haphazardly, never quite consciously, I don’t think. I was passive. I’m trying incredibly hard this time not to be passive. I don’t want to look at my life years into this relationship and wonder how I ended up there. I want to know that I confidently put myself there. And I told my SO before we officially started dating that even though he knew he wanted to be with me, I needed to confidently know I wanted to be with him. So he waited. And when he told me he loved me for the first time, I gave him the same answer. And he waited patiently for me to finally say it back.

I’m trying to be a far different person than I was in my previous relationship and maybe I am more “aloof” now because I’m trying so hard to be different. My SO told me I’m aloof and that it’s like I have a “love meter” that needs to be recharged every time he sees me, and that it’s at its fullest on the weekends but that it goes back down to 0 throughout the week. I thought that was cute and silly, but I also felt very badly about making him feel like I don’t care. I just don’t want to lose myself to a relationship again and he said he understands and wants us to share certain aspects of our lives, but understands that a healthy relationship doesn’t consume a person. He has his music and photography/videography and I have CrossFit now. We have separate friends. He asked me if I’d want to move in with him when he looks for his new place soon and I straight up said no and to ask me again in a year, and he understood and said he knew it was a long shot.

I won’t say my cousin was necessarily right about me being ready for a companion but not a relationship, but I understand what she means. I can’t fully give myself to someone right now because I don’t want to. I don’t want to be the person I was in my previous relationship. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be loving. I just can’t be passive. My passivity is what bothers me the most about myself. I let the last seven years of my life happen to me even though I wasn’t sure I wanted what was happening only because I didn’t know how to say no, and I didn’t want to hurt someone. This time, I’m trying to be more active and in control of my own life and my SO knows that. I made it very clear the times he’d brought up being in a relationship before we were officially in one that I wasn’t going to make the relationship my world. But I feel the worst when he tells me he’s never felt this strongly about someone before. I love him but I’m not going to get hooked on every word and drop what I’m doing to be a girlfriend. And despite that, he still tells me I’m the best girlfriend and most amazing person he’s ever met. This is the biggest and warmest his heart’s ever been, during a time when mine is the smallest and coldest. I just don’t want to be who I was. I love my SO, but it’s from a distance. He’s no holds barred right now, and I’m walking on eggshells. But he doesn’t care and always makes it known to me that he doesn’t care — he just loves me.

[bokutosbiceps]

Hey~ I'm new here, but I really wanted someone to write a MidorimaxReader where Shin-chan is trying to comfort his stressed and very sad girlfriend (for no reason in particular), you think you could do it? It would mean the world to me. Thanks, all the love xx

i wrote this specially for you, my sweet. i hope things start to look up and all your headaches and worry warts be gone! enjoy :)

- Admin Pocky

ps. italics are text messages

under the cut for length :)

You sat at your desk, head in your hands, staring at the planner in front of you. You had so much–too much–to do, and no time at all. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a day to yourself, or had a day where you could just sit down and spend time with your boyfriend, whom you hadn’t seen in almost two days.

Remembering you actually had a phone, you scoured your room for it, finding it lying in between a pile of clothes and some papers from last week’s exam study guide.

You tried to turn it on, but from its lack of attention, it turned out to be dead. You plugged it in and went back to your desk, starting to look over the calendar for your class schedule and wondering how in the world you were going to have time to eat, sleep, and breathe.

The myriad of vibrations coming from the pile of laundry scared you almost half to death due to your on-edge state, and once you had calmed down and realized what the noise was from, you walked over to your phone and shifted through the notifications.

You were surprised to find that most of them were from Midorima.

One Week Ago

8:32pm - Y/n-kun, you looked upset at dinner tonight, did I do something wrong?8:40pm - It’s rude to ignore someone who is concerned about you, even if you are mad.9:21pm - I’m going to bed. Please text me when you have sorted out your feelings.

Two Days Ago

6:05am - Y/n-kun, you’re starting to worry me. Please let me know if you’re okay. I will try to wait until you text me back to see you.8:12am - Why are you avoiding me? Y/n-kun, I haven’t even seen you at school for about a week.4:57pm - I guess this is a hint for me to stop bothering you. I just want you to know that I love you, and if I did something wrong I would like for us to talk about it so it won’t happen again in our future.11:42pm - Goodnight, y/n, I love you.

Today

3:16am - Y/n, please, I can’t stop worrying about you. I need to see you, I need to know that you’re okay.7:28am - I spoke to your mother and she says that you’re probably just busy. If that is the case, please let me come over. I can help.10:30am - Listen, y/n, I am a considerate man, you know that. But I am not above coming over to your house uninvited, because I am worried about you.11:46am - I am on my way. I need to make sure you’re okay.

You widened your eyes at Midorima’s last text before glancing at the clock. It was 12:03pm, he was bound to be at your house any minute now. You darted to the bathroom to take a quick look in the mirror, growing even more horrified at your disheveled head of hair and dark circles under your eyes.

You ran back to your room to get your bag of makeup and other things to make it look like you were perfectly fine, but ran straight into someone in the hallway.

You began to fall backwards, but a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist and kept you steady, and pulled you to a strong chest. You knew who it was, but you kept your eyes squeezed shut for fear of what his expression at your appearance may be.

“Y/n, why are your eyes closed? You wouldn’t have run into me if they were open.” Midorima states, still holding on to you. You feel your bottom lip start to tremble and you squeeze your eyes shut even tighter, not wanting to cry in front of your boyfriend.

You didn’t even know why you wanted to cry, the wave of emotion just from seeing him hit you like a tsunami—love, fear, guilt, anxiety, and happiness hit you all at the same time. And before long, you were staining his sweater with your tears and saliva, the tight fist of stress, anxiety, and bottled-up feels finally being unclenched.

Midorima stiffened, not sure as to why you were crying or why he felt so moved by your tears; he sighed and picked you up bridal style, carrying you close to his chest so that your head always had a place to rest. When he reached your room, he kicked the door shut and sat down on your bed, taking in the unkempt state of the room.

Papers from last week’s exam study guide were piled in the corner, your desk was flooded with the planners you kept for your academic, social, and extracurricular activities, and dirty laundry was scattered everywhere. He spotted the phone on its charger in the corn atop a pile of dirty laundry and deduced what had happened. And the fact that your bed didn’t look like it had been slept in for a while.

“Y/n, what’s been going on?” Midorima asked quietly, letting his taped fingers trace your cheekbone lightly. You whimpered at the long-awaited touch of your boyfriend, surprised at his affection and gentle tone. You brought your arms to circle his neck and hugged him as tight as you could, trying to apologize without words.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You choked outenforcing biting back another sob.

“And I, you.” He continued to lightly trace your cheekbone, your jawline, your chin, anywhere that he could see had been tainted by tears.

“I am in way over my head.” You sniffled, letting Midorima go and leaning back to look at him. He looked worried. More worried than you had ever seen him—it was etched into every line and jut of his face. “I have more on my plate than I can handle…and I guess, I thought I could do it, but I ended up just becoming a recluse. And making you worry.”

“Y/n, you know you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Midorima joker unknowingly, making you giggle through the phlegm in your throat. “Why are you laughing, nanodayo?”

“I’m not trying to get rid of you, Shin. I’d never do that.” You sighed and ran a hand through your tangled hair. “And I’m sorry about my phone, I just became to busy and too stressed to even look at it…I never got any of your messages until literally twenty minutes ago.”

“Don’t worry about that now, y/n, that’s in the past. I’m glad to know you’re alive and not mad at me. You are one of the most determined and intelligent people I’ve ever met, and I know you can do a lot of things on your own, but please, remember that you can always come to me when you need anything. ” Midorima is quiet for a moment, and you can feel him tense up again before he lets out a sigh. “I’d do anything for you at this point.” He says slowly.

“Is this your worry talking or…are you sick?”

“I’m being serious, nanodayo. Having you disappear for a week made me realize…how much better it makes my life to have your around. I enjoy your company…and…I need you in my life. Please don’t disappear again.”

You buried your face in your hands for fear of letting your furious blush make your room glow, and felt the wave of tears wash over you again.

“Please don’t make me cry again, Shin.” You laughed, rubbing at your eyes. “I have a lot to do…and I could use your help getting organized.”

“Well then, let’s take a look at these schedules.” Midorima said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, lifting both of you off the bed and setting you on your feet.

“Shin?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

#midorima x reader #midorima shintarou #midorima shintaro #midorima #knb #kuroko no basuke #kuroko no basket #knb x reader

[dwaekkichaos]

85 truths tag

I got tagged by the amazing @m1c-drop

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last💌

1. drink - cider

2. phone call - my mum i think

3. text message - my boyfriend

4. song you listened to - L.A- Jonas Brothers

5. time you cried - yesterday watching the Thanks choreo vid lmao

ever💌

6. dated someone twice - no

7. kissed someone and regretted it - nah

8. been cheated on - dont think so

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yeah

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - aslflfk yeah,, not fun,, 

fav colours💌

12. forest green

13. really really deep dark blue

14. very soft grey

in the last year have you…💌

15. made new friends - yeah boiiii

16. fallen out of love - nah

17. laughed until you cried - yeah

18. found out someone was talking about you - yeah

19. met someone who changed you - idk, not really, i tend to keep friends that i can just be me with?


20. found out who your true friends are - yeah,, 


21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - i mean yeah,, my boyfriend lol

general💌

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all but a few that are mutual friends i’ve only met like once

23. do you have any pets - my cat Chloe!! I love her so much!!! i also have a rabbit called Bee (he’s evil and hates me) and 2 tortoises called \rocket and Fluffy (I was like 8 when we got them ok let me LIVE)


24. do you want to change your name - god plz yes i can’t fucking stand hearing my birthname


25. what did you do for your last birthday - went to my nan’s and had lunch out with her and my mum and then went for dinner with my parents and brother

26. what time did you wake up today - uhhhhh like 9:30am? but i didn’t move from my bed till like 11:45 lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - revising for literature,, my life is so exciting


28. what is something you cant wait for - finishing a-levels,,


30. what are you listening to right now - my entire itunes on shuffle, legit like the past 3 songs have been the jonas brothers, sf9 and frank iero,, its a wild ride

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - me letting myself fall really behind on college work bc all this stress im under now could have so easily been avoided

33. most visited website - youtube or tumblr

34. hair colour - dark brown, almost looks kinda black-ish in the winter


35. long or short hair - short


36. do you have a crush on someone - i mean,, yeah,, my boyfriend lol

37. what do you like about yourself - my eyes are p cool? idk that’s legit it

38. want any piercings? - i really really wanna get my nose pierced, i just haven’t been able to afford it yet

39. blood type - no idea

40. nicknames - Mich, Mikey, Mic Drop (Thanks Lizzy), Morch, Microwave, Thot, Nerd, Mac n Cheese, Mo, i have a lot of nicknames lmao those are just the common ones


41. relationship status - taken

42. zodiac - taurus

43. pronouns - he/him

44. fave tv shows - skins, inbetweeners, peep show, brooklyn 99, doctor who, casualty, spongebob (im a meme fite me)

45. tattoos - none yet, but 3 months and i can get some!


46. right or left handed - right, but im sorta ambidextrous (out of practice though, i gotta work on my writing again its been a while)

47. ever had surgery - not that i can recall

48. piercings - 1st and 2nd lobe on each ear

49. sport - i horse ride and attempt (and fail) to dance sometimes


50. vacation - idk, im happy anywhere as long as i have wifi, a book, some music and its not really really warm?

51. trainers - idk i live my life in Vans and Doc Martens, i dont really wear trainers unless you count Vans as trainers?

more general💌

52. eating - my diet consists of chicken nuggets, cheese crackers and salted pretzels

53. drinking - i run off of coffee and tea, and i drink a ton of water, and i started drinking orange juice again recently? its a good time

54. i’m about to watch - im like 9 episodes into season 1 of Hello, My Twenties, it’s so good

55. waiting for - the sweet embrace of death,, jk, i bought some washi tape the other day and im excited about it


56. want - to not be this stressed so i can have time to actually do stuff i wanna do

57. get married - idk probs, depends on how i am as a person in the future


58. career - editor for books

which is better💌

59. hugs or kisses - h u g s


60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - taller is usually more attractive but i aint biased

62. older or younger - as long as its within a year younger or a few years older it doesn’t really matter to me

63. nice arms or stomach - idfk i don’t take notice really


64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - neither really?

have you ever💌

66. kissed a stranger - no


67. drank hard liquor - yeah

68. lost glasses - not permanantly


69. turned someone down - yeah

70. sex on first date - no,, im ace

71. broken someone’s heart - doubt it

72. had your heart broken - nah i dont think so

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yeah

75. fallen for a friend - i guess technically? me and my boyf were friends for like 2 years before we got together

do you believe in💌

76. yourself - no lol i know im an idiot

77. miracles - not really

78. love at first sight - no, not unless you like actually spend time together on that first meeting and actually have a grasp on the other person’s personality


79. santa claus - nah

80. kiss on a first date - sure why not


81. angels - yeah, but not like the guardian angel sense

other💌

82. best friend’s name - Lizzy

83. eye colour - brown, but it changes from like really dark brown to almost golden depending on weather/ mood

84. fave movie - Donnie Darko and Trainspotting will always be my faves

85. fave actor - i used to be obsessed with Nat Wolff, but now probs Sebastian Stan idk

I’m gonna tag:

@icalltheedragon @blueberrymanju @hotswaggerzuho and anyone else that sees this and wants to do it i guess? also u dont have to do it if u dont wanna obvs

#tag #shut up mikey

[niladmirai]

Do all the numbers. Do them all. I want every answer.

Geez, thats a tall order

1: NameDavid

2: AgeTurning 23 in March

3: 3 FearsHeightsRejection from family/friendsFailure

4: 3 things I loveMy loved onesVideo GamesArt

5: 4 turns onIntelligenceCommon interestsGenuine joy and happinessGreat listener

6: 4 turns offSmokingAsshole attitudeIgnoranceDisrespect

7: My best friendAt this point in time, it’s hard to say…

8: Sexual orientationStraight

9: My best first dateNever went out on a date ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10: How tall am I5'6"

11: What do I missNot being tied down by the pressure of being an adult

12: What time were I bornExact time, 9:11AM; The date, March 12th

13: Favorite colorBlue

14: Do I have a crushLmao not at the moment

15: Favorite quote“Do or do not. There is no try.” -Yoda

16: Favorite placeMy hometown of NYC

17: Favorite foodFrench Fries

18: Do I use sarcasmWhen do I not?

19: What am I listening to right nowNothing. Its 8:30AM as I type this lol

20: First thing I notice in new personTheir face and hair

21: Shoe size11

22: Eye colorBrown

23: Hair colorBlack

24: Favorite style of clothingJacket, hoodie and jeans

25: Ever done a prank call?Once

27: Meaning behind my URLBased on the phrase ‘nil admirari’ but i missed the last ‘r’ lmao

28: Favorite movieBetween Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and Speed Racer

29: Favorite songTo Zanarkand

30: Favorite bandNone in particular. But favorite musician would be Bruno Mars

31: How I feel right nowTo be honest, mostly indifferent about a lot of things

32: Someone I loveMy older cousin for being an awesome guy to hang around with

33: My current relationship statusSingle

34: My relationship with my parentsLove them to death!

35: Favorite holidayChristmas mostly for Christmas music

36: Tattoos and piercing i haveNada. If i did, my dad would flip and rip em

37: Tattoos and piercing i wantIf i was allowed to, a pink star on my neck like the Joestars or the Zanarkand Abes logo on my arm

38: The reason I joined TumblrFriend mentioned it when I was at a retreat and was curious to what it is.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?Nah, we ended on good terms

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?Nope lol

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?No lmao

42: When did I last hold hands?Yesterday during Mass

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?Thirty Minutes tops

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?How bout my whole life

45: Where am I right now?In my room on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?My cousin and brother

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Resonable so its actually audible

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yea

49: Am I excited for anything?My said cousin before is coming to visit!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?Yes

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?Usually half the time

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?I could care less at this point in time

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Nope

55: What is something I disliked about today?It’s 8:30am. I didnt sleep yet.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?My japanese cousins whom ive never seen or met

57: What do I think about most?Fire Emblem Heroes

58: What’s my strangest talent?My thumb is double jointed

59: Do I have any strange phobias?Nah all are kind normal

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Both

61: What was the last lie I told?'I’m going to the car to get something’

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Talking on the phone

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Both

64: Do I believe in magic?Nope

65: Do I believe in luck?Yea

66: What’s the weather like right now?Clear

67: What was the last book I’ve read?Something in my college class 3 years ago

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Hell no

69: Do I have any nicknames?Dabid or bid

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?My right index finger nail came off

71: Do I spend money or save it?Spend sadly. Its a bad habit.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?Nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?My RWBY Vol. 5 poster

74: Favorite animal?Birda

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Playing Fire Emblem Heroes

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Hercule’s last name is Satan

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Right now, the Finesse with Cardi B

78: How can you win my heart?If we share some interests, maybe thats hos

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?A beloved by many, and loved to play games

80: What is my favorite word?Free

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrLmao never cared about favorite blogs

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?The world will be ruined if we continue the path we follow. We need to change.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?Thankfully no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?The power of luck manipulation

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?How’s the job search going?

86: What is my current desktop picture?The intro screen of Xenoblade Chronicles

87: Had sex?Never haha

88: Bought condoms?From my brother LOL

89: Gotten pregnant?Im a guy

90: Failed a class?Yes

91: Kissed a boy?On the cheek

92: Kissed a girl?Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Lmao no

94: Had job?Nope

95: Left the house without my wallet?Yes…

96: Bullied someone on the internet?No

97: Had sex in public?Still no

98: Played on a sports team?Yeah, bowling back in elementary school

99: Smoked weed?Nope

100: Did drugs?Perscription drugs

101: Smoked cigarettes?Nope

102: Drank alcohol?Hella

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?No

104: Been overweight?I currently am lol

105: Been underweight?No

106: Been to a wedding?Loads of times

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Five is an understatement

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?F I V E I S A N U N D E R S T A T E M E N T

109: Been outside my home country?Yea

110: Gotten my heart broken?Of course

111: Been to a professional sports game?Yeah!

112: Broken a bone?No

113: Cut myself?Papercuts

114: Been to prom?Yep. Loved it.

115: Been in airplane?Yeah

116: Fly by helicopter?Not yet

117: What concerts have I been to?The Eagles, Air Supply, my high school’s band

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Admired, not crush

119: Learned another language?Java

120: Wore make up?Just nail polish

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?No lmaooo

122: Had oral sex?No

123: Dyed my hair?Nah

124: Voted in a presidential election?Yes. Still upset about the end result.

125: Rode in an ambulance?No

126: Had a surgery?On my tonsils

127: Met someone famous?Yeah! I met Julius Erving as a kid and recently Pewdiepie a few years back.

128: Stalked someone on a social network?Who hasnt lol

129: Peed outside?Had no choice

130: Been fishing?Yep! I wanna do it again!

131: Helped with charity?Yeah

132: Been rejected by a crush?All thd time

133: Broken a mirror?Naw

134: What do I want for birthday?Money, a Switch, games to play on the Switch, games to play on my PS4, and most importantly, happiness

Whew that took awhile!

[belladonnadream]

Stevie n Mick 9-11 Memorial

Stevie Nicks September 11, 2016 · September 11th, 2016

As I always say on this day~ No one needs to remind me~ of what happened in New York on September 11th, 2001. I was there~ at the Waldorf~ sleeping~ when the first plane hit the first tower. We, 7 of us, had come in from Canada that night~ landed at 2:30 in the morning~ ready to spend my day off in my favorite city. I went to bed at 7:30am... It was a beautiful day~ looking out the windows before I laid down. I was so excited to be there~ I had such hopes for that beautiful day~ and then the world stopped. The world changed. As the day went by you could not see the sun~ we put wet towels around all the windows. It was as if the world had ended.

I kept a journal all through the four days we were there. As we drove away from New York on Friday at sunset (on a bus) heading towards Atlantic City (show on Saturday had not been canceled) we looked back across the water at the fallen towers and the sad grey city. We drove slowly, taking pictures in our minds~ knowing that nothing ~ NOTHING ~ would ever be the same. And we cried. Silent grey shadowed tears of disbelief~ I think we cried all the way to Atlantic City. I don’t think any words were even spoken, and we prayed that the world would heal and get better.

It hasn’t.

Our world is dangerous. The warnings are everywhere. People are afraid. I am afraid and I hate being afraid. I want to be strong and fearless. I want anyone who reads this to do everything they can to help this world~

Please God show them the way Please God ~on this day~ Spirits all~ give them the strength Peace can come if you fight for it~ I think we’re just in time to save it Please God Give them the strength On this day Please God Please God Please God Show them the way~

These words are from a song you have yet to hear~ about this day...

I am re-posting my journal entries again for you to read~ I wrote them for all of us. Consider these words as you go through the next sixty days~

Love to All, Stevie Nicks

2001

Dearest Everyone- This is my journal entry for September 11, 2001. I wanted to share it with you, because I was in New York; because it was the heaviest thing I have ever experienced ~

Love, Stevie Nicks

Sept. 11, 2001 11:30 a.m. We got into New York via private jet at 2 o’clock this morning, coming into New York from Toronto, Canada. I have been listening to Shawn Colvin’s song, Another Plane Went Down, from her new album, A Whole New You, all the way here while trying to compose a letter to Gladys Knight about Aaliyah, her niece; about my dream. Airports, planes everywhere, music, music, tears in my eyes, Sulamith (my yorkie) was upset all the way from Canada, psychic, dreamlike, flying, flying, flying.

And now, it has happened. Two planes dove into the World Trade Center Towers ~ 4 hijackings in 3 hours. The Trade Center is gone, thousands of people are dead. The Pentagon was attacked kamikaze style, and one plane they are pretty sure, was on its way to the White House.

Everyone is pretty sure it was Osama Bin Laden, the evil high tech murderer hiding in Afghanistan...

People are walking across the Brooklyn Bridge trying to get home. I am here at the world famous Waldorf=Astoria, the hotel where the presidents stay ~

I will write as the day unfolds~

I am pretty sure Radio City will cancel; I think their offices were in the Towers...I am so sad for them...

Aircraft warships are on their way to us here in New York and to Washington... I don’t really know what we are going to do now – the airports are completely shut down-

My heart is broken.

8:42 a.m. First Tower 9:04 a.m. 2nd Tower 9:40 a.m. Pentagon 9:59 a.m. South Tower falls 10:28 a.m. North Tower falls (people jump) 11:29 a.m. United flt 99 crashes in rural Pennsylvania 5:20 p.m. #7 Tower collapses

Sept. 12, 2001 4:42 a.m. in the morning

We are a devastated city I feel I am a part of this city. We are a strong, brilliant city. We are watching a piece of history We are living through a tragedy Like no one – has ever seen...

The fire chief of New York is dead. His assistant fire chief is dead. One of my champions from Warner Brothers wife is gone. She was coming home from Boston after settling their twin daughters at a University. Their grandmother was with their Mom.

M.H. called from Toronto. He is there with the Backstreet Boys. One of their carpenters went home because his wife was having a baby. He was on one of those planes. We are a grieving city A surreal city ~ It is 5:09 a.m. in the morning We are still a dark city – But soon it will be dawn – and the dreamlike reality of yesterday will turn into the true reality of what has really happened.

I have seen grown men cry today. They seem to be having the most trouble with this. They are the protectors –

And they feel so helpless ~ They can’t stand it.

It seems that, as Don Henley so brilliantly said ~ “This is the end- of the innocence.”

5:15 a.m.

I sit here at 5:15 in the morning – in shock. The tears just don’t stop. As a writer, I am driven to write what it has been like to be 20 minutes away from the Twin Towers ~ To be here at the world famous, Waldorf=Astoria Hotel, home of foreign diplomats and gathering place of politicians, in a suite where I am quite sure Heads of State have met, and discussed the problems of the world. The living room is all dark wood, ceiling to floor, and you can just imagine John Kennedy sitting at the desk. It is stunning. This hotel is where the presidents have always stayed, and this grand old hotel is in full lockdown. All but two entrances are closed, the driveway through the hotel – shut, all the cars - moved out.

I feel strangely safe here in New York now – and the city still looks awesome from my windows, still sparkly, still beautiful, almost like – from this room- Nothing ever happened- Almost...

The television news people are extraordinary – all of them. They are tired; you can see it in their changing faces, as the day has gone by. Of course, I feel like I know them all, like they are really dear friends, choking up and recovering, just like me, hour after hour... You can’t go through something like this with a city. You become attached.

You become “war buddies.” It is just so deep. It is 6:10. It is sunrise

6:38 a.m.

It was a beautiful sunrise. It has turned the white curtains pink, the room pink- I swear. The sun is one half inch over the city horizon, the sky is peacock blue, sky blue but the city is still glowing pink. If I had been sleeping since Monday and I looked out this window, I would think, “It just looks like a beautiful New York fall day, my favorite thing, let’s shop! It looks just like it did Tuesday morning when I went to bed, just before this all happened. The view is so beautiful that looking up at it, almost makes you start to feel good, and forget, and then, honestly you feel guilty, and then you feel worse and sick to your stomach. If they can’t sleep, then I’m not going to sleep either... So today is both beautiful and frightening, looking out from 36 floors up, can I tell you how unimaginable it would be if I looked up and saw a big jet flying towards me, in this country? Not possible. My question – “How could this happen?”

I am overwhelmed with how extraordinary the firemen and the policemen are. They just don’t give up. They “don’t stop.” They are awesome...and so is Mayor Guiliani. I would ALWAYS want them on my team. They are my heroes.

Well, I think I have to sleep now. In an interview from the street, a man says in tears, “You do not want to see the things I’ve seen today...I am traumatized.” “I am traumatized for life...”

That is the truth...We are all traumatized.

“I’m tired. I’m thirsty – I’m wild eyed In my misery.”

God Bless everyone that lost someone ~ And all of those ~ that are gone... I am so sorry ~

Stevie Nicks 7:06 in the morning

P .S. The room is still glowing pink – I swear...

Last Thought...September 14, 2001

Please everyone, do not blame people for this just because they are Muslim – or come from some other ethnic group. If you do, you let Osama Bin Laden win – as surely as if you helped him put those planes through those towers. You - become him. He wins. Consider this carefully...

2011

September 11, 2011 9-11 Nine Eleven 2001

It is four o’7~ 4:07 in the afternoon. It is Sunday. It is the 10th Anniversary of the attack on the great towers of New York City. The twins~ those two awesome skyscrapers who stood above our beautiful city. I say “our” because I became a New Yorker on that day.

I am not watching television, at least not yet. I do not need T.V. to jar my memory. I remember it all, as if it were yesterday. Landing in New York at 2:30 in the morning~ coming in from Canada to spend my one day off in New York. Looking forward to playing Radio City Music Hall~ one of my favorite places to play. Driving into the city from the airport~ excited~ it’s always a romantic drive for me~ like something wonderful could happen~ New York City~ just like I pictured it. Awesome. Awesome...

And awesome it was. Arriving at the world famous Waldorf=Astoria Hotel. Famous people live there. Political dignitaries live there. Wallace Simpson and the ex-King of England~ lived there for 5 years in the suite with the 3 great arched windows. History oozes from its great walls. When you are there~ you are part of history. We got to our suite at about 4 in the morning~ the very grand~ all dark wood suite~ we unpacked~ the sun was coming up over the city~ the 4 windows in the living room full of pink light~ extraordinary pink~ bathing the brown Bosendorfer in light~ the sun is up~ it is 7:30. I say to the girls~ “Maybe we should just go out now and have breakfast and go shopping~ and sleep later. I was looking out one of the windows at the city that was now full of people and cars and cabs and limousines~ crazy energy~ and we laughed, realizing how tired we were after 2 shows in a row and the flight from Canada...Maybe a little sleep would help~ then we’ll hit the streets. Sulamith Wulfing and I went to bed~ dreaming of going out later~ maybe finding a little diamond something~ and off we went to sleep.

Right after the second plane hit the second tower, Karen woke me. I don’t remember exactly what she said. I just remember jumping up and running to the window where I had stood 3 1⁄2 hours before. Looking down at that same street, no cars, no cabs, and no people. Just empty. Not beautiful~ just frighteningly silent. No way out~ just fear.

Karen was on the phone with my manager Sheryl. She had been on the phone with her when the plane hit the first tower. Because of that~ we had a line out to the world. Sheryl was able to have someone call our parents and my band in Canada and let people know we were all right.

The Waldorf went into lock down. It is the presidents hotel, so lock down is something the do well. Then we waited. We turned on the big T.V. in the living room and watched ~ and watched~ and watched.

Because we were hooked up to T.V. all over the world~ we saw things that I think most people didn’t see. Spanish T.V.~ people actually jumping. That was momentary~ pulled immediately by the networks. The first newspaper with a horrid image on the front page~ not seen again. We kept the newspaper.

As the hours went by we, like everyone else in the city who wasn’t close to ground zero~we just sat and watched T.V. and cried. I never left the suite. From Tuesday afternoon to Friday night when we drove away to Atlantic City I just sat in front of the T.V. and cried. The sunsets were extra beautiful. All that dust and smoke makes sunsets and sunrises more beautiful. Like smoke on stage makes the lights more beautiful. After that, soon after that actually, I developed an allergy to dust and smoke. I don’t use smoke on my stage anymore. It shuts down my throat~ I can’t sing in it~ and it’s not beautiful.

It’s 4:58p right now~ the devastation I felt that day is starting to creep in. My throat is starting to close up~ and my eyes are starting to fill with tears.

I guess that’s how it will always be. All those people lost. All those families ruined. All those hearts broken. I was 20 minutes away. I did not lose a best friend or a child or a lover. But part of my heart went down with those towers... And that will never change...

Stevie Nicks 9-11-11

#Stevie Nicks #Fleetwood Mac #Stevie Nicks History #9-11

[yoon-kooks]

Lie- Part 10

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Summary: There was a time when you loved him and he hated you. Now you hate him, but does he love you?

Parts: 0 // 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // FINAL

“Oooh! Can we go in there?” You pulled at Jimin’s sleeve and pointed at a small shop with a bunch of adorable plushies. He turned his head to where you were pointing and sighed.

“Do we have to go into every single shop with plushies in them?” Jimin protested but still allowed you to pull him into the store.

“Yes, we do!” you giggled at him. “Because I’m looking for something!”

“What is it?”

“Uh, actually I’m not sure, hehe~” You looked around curiously, trying to find something small to buy so that you’d always remember your first “date” with Jimin. “But it has to be something cute!”

“You’ve been dragging me around for two hours and you don’t even know what you’re looking for?” Jimin chuckled in disbelief as he browsed the shelf with tiny kitty plushies. You saw him smile at a grey one with a little scarf before he picked it up to show to you. “What about this one? It’s cute, right?”

You blushed, taking it from his hand. It was a pretty cute kitty, but you loved it even more because Jimin had picked it out for you. “Yeah, this is the one!” You were glowing so much and didn’t catch him staring.

Just as you were about to walk it up to the cash register to pay, it was taken from your grasp. Jimin placed the kitty on the counter and took out his wallet.

You shook your head with a flustered look. “Jimin, it’s okay… I already wasted your time coming here and-”

Jimin ignored you and proceeded to pay the cashier. Once you were out of the store, he handed you the kitty.

“You didn’t have to pay for me, you know…” you pouted. But you were also overjoyed with the fact that the boy you loved got you something special. You stared at the kitty again and smiled.

“Just be happy you got what you came for, okay?” Jimin watched you fiddling around with the plushie. You hugged it tightly and squealed. “You really love it that much?” he laughed.

“Yeah! Thanks Jimin~!” you smiled up at him. “I’ll get you something next time, I promise!”

“Next time?” He raised a brow at you. “I thought this was a one time thing.”

“But you had fun, right?” You poked him. “I wanna do it again… Maybe next time could be an actual date?”

“I already told you we’re not dating…”

“Not yet, but maybe in the future~?” you said, blushing softly.

“Y/N.” Jimin walked a little further from you and bit his lip. “I don’t think we could ever date.”

-

“Yoora, I’ll tell you!” You dropped your chemistry textbook next to your friend’s notebook and took a seat.

“Tell me what??” Yoora went from falling asleep to wide awake. “Is this about your secret lover?” she smirked.

“He’s not a lover!!” You sent a soft punch to her shoulder. “But it is a secret, so promise you won’t tell anyone or get mad about it, okay?”

“Promise~!” Yoora clasped her hands together. “Tell me all about him!”

“Okay, okay!” You tried to calm both her and yourself down. Even in that moment, you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to tell her that you knew her favorite idols. But you trusted her. “Actually, it’s about two guys… and you know them…”

“Two guys??” Yoora’s jaw dropped. “OMG, Y/N!! When?? How?? WHO?”

“At the fansign. Uhh, I don’t really know how it happened…” You leaned closer to whisper. “But it’s Jungkook and Jimin.”

“WHAT? NO WAY!!” Yoora’s shrieks gained you some stares from people passing by. “PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!!”

“It’s a long story… but basically, Jungkook and I-”

“You’re dating HIM???”

“No!” You shushed your friend. “But we may or may not have hung out…” Yoora’s eyes widened.

“Really?!! You’re so lucky!!! OMG. WOW.” She muffled her loud voice with her hands. “Wait, what about Jimin??”

“Ohh… Jimin…” You took a moment to ensure you wouldn’t say too much. “I told him you’re his biggest fan and he said you can meet them next time.”

You were expecting to hear the loudest scream of all, but Yoora was too shook to make a sound. She stared at you with the largest eyes.

“I’m meeting with Jungkook after this, so I’ll be sure to ask him about you, me, him, and Jimin all meeting together some time.”

“L-like a double d-date?”

You nodded, even though you were pretty sure Jimin didn’t intend on it being a “date”. But after you had made it clear that you weren’t giving him anymore chances, maybe someone else could give him a chance instead.

“OMG yay! Thanks, Y/N~!” Yoora’s eyes sparkled like you’d never seen before.

-

By the time evening came around, you met up with Jungkook for a walk around the streets of Seoul. You were still in disbelief that the boy had actually asked you out on a second date. But you found it very refreshing whenever you spent time with him.

“Jimin told me you came back to the dorms smiling like an idiot after our bowling date.” You nudged Jungkook. “Is that true?”

“I was smiling, but not like an idiot!” he laughed. “Jimin really says too much sometimes…”

“Yeah, he does, huh…” Your expression dropped a little because you understood that too well.

“By the way, what’s your relationship with him?”

“Huh?”

“Jimin told me you guys were childhood friends?”

“Uh… yeah… I mean, I guess that’s all we were.” You looked down at the sidewalk, not really wanting to talk about your past with Jimin. “From the time he left Busan until that fansign, we didn’t talk at all.”

“Oh… It’s probably just because he’s been working so hard with Bangtan stuff during these past few years,” Jungkook tried to reassure you.

“Probably,” you said, even though you knew it wasn’t the whole truth. You just wanted to change the topic somehow. “Speaking of Jimin, do you think he’d be down for a double-date type thing?”

“A double-date?” Jungkook’s eyes widened. “You mean like you, me, him, and…?”

“My friend,” you finished his sentence. “Jimin said I could bring her along some time.”

“Ah! I see,” he nodded. “Jimin doesn’t really seem like the ‘date’ type though… Like, all my other hyungs have gone out every once in a while, but I’ve never seen Jimin with anyone else.”

“Really…?” That couldn’t have been true. You were certain Jimin had gone on dates with other people. You even remembered Yoora telling you how popular he was among female idols. But at the same time, you knew Jungkook was being honest.

“Yeah, that’s why I was surprised when he met with you the other day!” he said. “I kinda thought you guys were dating…” You stayed quiet for a moment.

“Me and Jimin? I don’t think we’re the kind of friends that could ever date…” You hated how those words sounded coming from you. And it left a bad taste in your mouth.

Jungkook took notice and suddenly wrapped his hand around yours. His warmth comforted you and the faint pink on his cheeks made you smile and blush a little yourself. The bad taste was suddenly gone.

“What about us, though?” He did a cute head tilt. “Are we the type of friends that could date?”

You just stared back at him with huge eyes, unable to speak. Jeon Jungkook was really asking to be your boyfriend. You had to admit, he was the only other boy you’d felt something for besides Jimin. He was always so sweet to you, and you really did enjoy spending time with him. You had zero reason to say no, but at the same time, it wasn’t so simple to just say yes.

“Ah, I didn’t mean to surprise you or anything, haha.” The boy ruffled the back of his hair. “Take as much time as you need to-”

“Yes,” the word slipped out on its own. The only way you could justify it was by telling yourself you’d be an idiot to let Jungkook pass you by. You leaned your head on his shoulder. “I think we could and should date.”

“I think so too,” he smiled. “I just hope Jimin doesn’t mind me dating his friend.”

“He won’t.” You shook your head, but truthfully, you wondered exactly how he would react. As much as you hoped he wouldn’t mind, you couldn’t help but worry that he would. But the more you thought about it, the more you remembered you couldn’t be that special to Jimin. Because if he truly cared about you, he would’ve never given you a reason to hate him in the first place.

“Hm, maybe you know him better than I do,” Jungkook nodded. “You guys were best friends after all.”

“Yeah…” You wanted to believe you knew enough about Jimin, but there were so many things he had refused to share with you. Things you had to find out the hard way.

“Anyway, I’ll be sure to ask him about the double date thing!” Jungkook swung your hand playfully. “That guy can use a nice date. He’s been looking a little lonely these days.” Lonely?

-

As soon as you got back, you noticed Jungkook had sent you a sweet goodnight text, so you replied back with a few kiss emojis. You smiled at your phone screen until you saw your text conversation with Jimin right underneath, and you were reminded of him being lonely. It couldn’t have been because of you, right? As an idol, he had plenty of other things to worry about before some childhood friendship.

But you still wanted to check up on him—just in case.

12:03AM Y/N “hey”

12:04AM Jimin “🙋🙋🙋”

12:04AM Jimin “go to sleep. its late😒”

12:05AM Y/N “ill go to sleep if you go to sleep too😡”

12:07AM Jimin “im not tired”

12:08AM Y/N “neither am i”

12:11AM Jimin “so… whyd you text me?”

12:12AM Y/N “did jungkook tell you…?” You felt your heartbeat go at a quicker pace. Maybe it’d be a little better if Jimin heard about the dating thing from Jungkook rather than from you.

12:13AM Jimin “yeah”

12:20AM Y/N “and youre okay with it?”

12:22AM Jimin “youll get mad if i say no lol”

12:23AM Y/N “i wont get mad! just be honest…”

12:28AM Jimin “okay okay”

12:30AM Jimin “i dont think ill have the time for it”

12:31AM Y/N “wait… what are you talking about??”

12:32AM Jimin “the double date thing?”

12:32AM Jimin “whatd you think i meant?” So Jungkook didn’t tell him you were dating yet. And you weren’t ready to break the news to him either. It couldn’t hurt to wait just a little longer.

12:33AM Y/N “lol idk what i was thinking😅”

12:34AM Y/N “but anyway”

12:35AM Y/N “whens a good time for you? i want this to work out”

12:35AM Jimin “really? you do?”

12:36AM Y/N “yeah! i told yoora about you and shes been screaming every since”

12:38AM Jimin “yoora?”

12:39AM Y/N “remember my friend i was telling you about? the one that loves you like crazy?”

12:40AM Jimin “oh her”

12:41AM Jimin “i still dont think ill have time… i gotta put more hours in at the dance studio”

12:42AM Y/N “aww okay… i guess if its for bangtan, it cant be helped…” You couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Not only because you had gotten Yoora super excited about it. But also because if Jimin really was feeling lonely, you wanted to be there for him. Like he had been for you.

12:44AM Y/N “maybe next time then?”

12:45AM Y/N “bc i really wanna see you jimin” You weren’t sure if you sounded too needy--especially since you had just gotten yourself a boyfriend--but you meant what you said. You just wanted to make sure he wasn’t feeling alone.

12:59AM Jimin “okay ill be there 👍”

1:00AM Y/N “!!!”

1:01AM Y/N “okay!! (^-^)//”

1:01AM Y/N “see ya then~”

1:02AM Jimin “💃💃👯”

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin #bts #jimin x reader #jimin fanfic #lie

[guksuu]

sixty truths tag

☆ thank u to @jingogi for tagging me!!! ☆ 

1. Nickname(s): my cousins like to call me “lili”… besides that nothing else

2. Bias: tbh im ot for a lot of the groups i love BUT i have some soft spots for some members. 

3. Blood type: i don’t know, unfortunately 

4. Relationship status: alone n single like ghost suga LMAO

5. Birthday: april 1st 

6. Zodiac sign: aeries

7. Pronouns: she/her

8. Hair length: a little bit longer than shoulder 

9. Height: 5′3

10. A crush: no crush :-((((

11. What do you like about yourself: i dont really know? maybe my quiet personality????

12. Right or left handed: right

13. List of three favourite colours: black, grey, mustard (is that too specific?)

14. Right now eating: trying to study for my ap bio exam that is tomorrow. save me.

15. Right now drinking: nothing, but i did have boba today

16. I’m about to: study even more cause i really dont want to die tomorrow

17. Listening to: fool by winner 

18. Kids: 1 or 2 (proabably 2)

19. Get married: hopefully but i dont know when? maybe when i finally become untroubled 

20. Recent phone call: my mother checking up on me

21. Have you ever dated someone twice: no

22. Been cheated on: nope

23. Kissed someone and regretted it: the only thing these lips have touched are food so far so 

24. Lost someone special: yes :-(

25. Been depressed: i dont really know…perhaps..

26. Been drunk and thrown up: nope

27. Had glasses or contacts: i do have glasses

28. Had sex on a first date: no

29. Broken someone’s heart: maybe?

30. Turned someone down: yes n let me tell you that it was kind of embarassing

31. Cried when someone died: yep…

32. Fallen for a friend: i wish we were friends but im too shy fml

In the last year have you…

33. …made a new friend: yes, these past few months!!!! ily all

34. …fallen out of love: yes

35. …laughed until you cry: yES 

36. …met someone who changed you: no

37. …found out who your true friends were: no

38. …found out someone was talking about you: always do. 

39. Lips or eyes: jdskhfsjk both

40. Hugs or kisses: hugs!

41. Shorter or taller: honestly i dont really care about height

42. Romantic or spontaneous: both

43. Sensitive or loud: both…maybe sensitive a little bit more

44. Hookup or relationship: relationship

45. First best friend: when i was 8!! im still friends with them n i love them to death (its been 9 years kjsdhjk)

46. Surgery: i had split my forehead when i was little by slipping on the stairs and had to get stitches. same with the time i dropped a weight on my toe :-((

47. Sports I joined: i dont do sports cause im lazy 

48. Do you believe in yourself: no but i should learn to

49. Miracles: do happen but where the hell are they for me?????

50. Love at first sight: honestly i dont know. im like 50/50 with this whole love thing.

51. Heaven: kind of believe in it? 50/50 with it.

52. Do you have any pets: no but tbh i spend so much time with my aunt’s dogs that i consider them as mine lmaoo

53. Do you want to change your name: when i was in middle school, yeah, but now im content with it

54. What did you do for your last birthday: i went to eat out with my family!! i had lots of boba n food so it was a good day :-)

55. What time did you wake up today: 7:30am (which was a mistake cause that left me in a bad mood)

56. What were you doing last night at midnight: studYING CAUSE AP BIO IS GOING TO END ME TOMORROW 

57. Something you can’t wait for: to graduate hs n start finding what i want to do

58. Last time you saw your mom: right now

59. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: ahh there’s so many things i want to change though…

60. What’s getting on your nerves: my exam and driving test (they’re not getting on my nerves but they’re really making me ksdfjkds). im scared that i wont get a 3 on my exam :-(( as for my driving test (that’s actually this friday kill me), i feel like im unprepared ugh

tagging: @denimin @fluffyzelo @chambaeq @eatnamjin @risingsea101 n anyone who wants to do it!!! ☆

#tag: game #thank u for tagging me sarah!!! #not forcing u guys to do this lmao #celestial mutuals

[ssteezyy]

Cat Behaviorist Mikel Delgado Answers May’s Questions

Last month, we launched our new “Ask the Cat Behaviorist with Mikel Delgado” segment. Once a month, we’ll post a reminder for you to post your questions for Mikel. She’ll answer as many of them as he can each month, and I’ll publish her answers in a subsequent post.

Mikel is a Certified Cat Behavior Consultant at Feline Minds, offering on-site consultations for cat guardians, shelters, and pet-related businesses in the San Francisco Bay Area, and remote consultations around the world. She is currently completing her PhD in Psychology at UC Berkeley, where she studies animal behavior and human-pet relationships.

Sleep deprived cat guardians

I am becoming sleep deprived! My Kat wants my attention all during the night, yowling and pushing at me. Could close door but she doesn’t like closed door. She refuses to play at bedtime to tire her out..I need my sleep! (Patricia LeBlanc)

Dear Mikel, I adopted 5 yo littermates Bo & Ellie last summer (days after saying goodbye to my 19 yo Evi). Their daddy, who’d raised them together from the age of 6 weeks with a ton of love, was being shipped overseas and they were in desperate need of a home together, so in they moved. The problem is the habit dear BoBo has of meowing ever so loudly outside my bedroom door every morning starting around 5:30am. I’ve been sleep deprived since they moved in. Sadly I must keep my bedroom door shut because I’m allergic to cats. I adore cats, have always had cats, will always have cats, but I have to sleep in a “clean room” to prevent attacks of allergy-induced asthma. These kitties always slept on their daddy’s bed, so being shut out of the bedroom now must make them feel sad, lonely, forlorn, confused. I’d hoped they’d just get used to the new normal, but nothing’s changed in 9 months. I leave plenty of food out before I go to bed, and there’s usually some left in the morning, so it’s about attention, not food. I do give them a long play session at night to tire them out. Earplugs fall out by morning. I tried to just ignore it and stay in bed, knowing that if I got up when the meowing started then I was just cementing this bad habit — but he won’t stop meowing (I waited 90 minutes once!), and eventually I do have to get up for the day — so of course he’s learned that if he continues meowing, mama will get up. Apparently they’re 1/2 Siamese (and 1/2 Maine Coon), so that might explain some of the vocal volume. Help! I’m sooooo sleepy. Thank you! (Karin Moore)

Mikel:

Patricia and Karin,

Your complaints are similar enough that I’m going to address them together. Cats waking up their humans in the middle of the night is one of the most common reasons I’m called for help. Sleep deprivation takes its toll, on our well-being, and on our relationship with our cats!

This behavior is usually being maintained for a few reasons, the key ones being that the cat gets something out of it and that they aren’t sleepy when we are – and so they need a “schedule shift.” Sometimes the situation is complicated by the fact that there has been a change (such as with Karin’s kitties, where they were used to sleeping on the bed) or a housing situation or cat that doesn’t allow for the cats to be separated from humans at night.

So, to sleep through the night: the first step is to keep the cat more active throughout the day, and for some cats this means more than just a play session at bedtime. Food puzzles, bird feeders attached to a window, and vertical space can encourage more activity during the day. At least one or two daily play sessions with interactive toys will help.

Patricia, I wasn’t sure if Kat is only difficult to play with at night – so there may be a special toy that you reserve for a night time play session, OR you may want to shift your feeding schedule so she plays FIRST, then gets a meal. A lot of humans feed their cats first thing when they get home from work, and it can be difficult to get cats to play when they’ve recently had a meal – just like we don’t like to exercise with a full tummy!

Food can also get cats more on your schedule. I recommend meal feeding (or some variation thereof) so that your cat has exercise and the largest meal of the day shortly before your bedtime. That will make them more likely to settle down for the night. If you don’t want to meal feed, then perhaps pick and choose when your cat has food freely available, picking up their bowls in the early evening so they are hungry at bedtime.

Now is when things get a little gnarly. To really stop this behavior, you have to ignore it consistently. If you give in after 5, 10, or even worse, 90 minutes, then you have just rewarded persistence. Now it is true, Karin, that at some point, you have to get out of bed. Why not use clicker training and reward your cat for going to a perch when you leave the bedroom – only click when he has settled and stopped meowing. You can reward with treats or praise.

A few other things that may help you out: a piece of cardboard with double-sided carpet tape outside your bedroom door will make your cats less likely to sit there (just be careful not to step on it when you get up!). I’ve also found that a heated bed that is turned on only at night can be really helpful for getting cats to give up their human sleeping habit – turns out a lot of them just use us for body heat! Also, I’m a light sleeper, so I use an air filter for white noise, which helps me sleep, and might dull some of those annoying middle of the night meows!

Male feral cat is aggressive with other feral cats and stalks caregiver

I have a small colony of feral cats that I care for and have my own indoor cats that go outside. A male cat joined the colony early this year I had him trapped and neutered but 4 months later he has become very aggressive with the other ferals and my own cats as well – I have the feeding stations on the perimeter of my property but now he will stalk me and my cats near the front door. Is there anything that I can do short of relocating him to tone down his aggressive behavior? Thanks! ( Karen Aseltine)

Mikel:

Hi Karen,

Unfortunately, some cats are more territorial than others – and it is natural for cats to be wary of other cats. I think I would need a bit more information about the interactions and what type of behavior he is displaying to give you concrete advice. The fact that he “stalks” you, suggests to me that he is at least a little bit socialized. This is also complicated by the fact that your own cats spend time outside, so tactics that might keep him away from your front door (such as the motion-sensitive air cans) would also be unpleasant for your own cats.

What might help: spacing out resources so that the ferals’ feeding stations have plenty of space between them. Encourage him to get his needs met as far away from your home as possible (or even off your property). If you can set up any deterrents, in areas that your cats do not go, you might be keep him from getting to comfortable. If he is friendly enough, you might try giving him some playtime with feather wands (yes, you can try them with outdoor cats) to blow off some of his steam, especially if there are particular times of day that he tends to be more aggressive toward the other cats.

Unfortunately, when we let our own cats outside, it makes it complicated to manage what happens outdoors. You might want to consider keeping your own cats indoors part time so that you can set up deterrents to let the ferals know that your home is off limits. I would not rule out relocating, but we also know that for cats in colonies, it often takes several months and several attempts for them to accept each other, so it’s possible that time will heal some of these wounds.

Kitten suckles and kneads on everything, bites and claws

Hi my name is Cindi and we just got a kitten and i think he was weaned too early he suckles and kneads on everything including us(me my fiancé n my 9yo son) also how do i get mittens to stop bitting n clawing us it getting bad we tried the use toy instead of fingers thing and still bites us all the time thank you. (Cindi)

Mikel:

Hi Cindi!

I feel strongly that kittens need a buddy – have you considered adopting a second kitten? This will allow your kitten to have another kitty to take out all that biting and rough play on. Cats can communicate “you’ve gone too far” much more easily with each other than we can with them. If she gets too “bitey,” it’s best to just walk away than try to correct her. Over time, she’ll learn that if she is too rough, she will lose your attention. Be sure not to force her to be held or petted at times that she would rather be playing!

Kittens are at the stage of life where they are going to be most active and they do need a lot of playtime with interactive toys – so things that keep your hands far away from the biting activity, like feather wands (these toy should be kept away from kittens when not being directly supervised), are best.

In regards to the nursing and kneading, your kitten may also benefit from some appropriate toys that let her chew and kick, like kick bag style toys. Cat grass can be another way to give cats an outlet for oral behaviors that might be related to early weaning.

All that said, I still think it would be great to adopt another kitten. Although it sounds like it would be more work, in most cases, the kittens keep each other busy and it ends up being less work for the humans. Plus your kitten has the possibility of a life-long companion of her own species!

Demanding cat won’t stop screaming

Oh if only you could get my cat to stop screaming. She wants her way…to overeat, go outside, whatever…it’s always something….mostly food. She was about double her ideal weight when I got her 4 years ago. I cut back on her food, let her roam outside when I was at home and the weight came off in about 9 months. Now the neighbor got a sport’s car with a cover and she ripped through 3 of them that I had to pay for…so now she can’t roam free outside. I try to walk her supervised every day for a bit before one of her 3 mealtimes. That is the only way to get her back indoors…she is so food driven. But she screams constantly about 2 hours before her next meal. It is driving me crazy so I try to outscream her…send her to the bedroom but she just screams in there! What can I do to get her to stop? I have NEVER had this issue with ANY of my other cats before. Thank you! (Samantha Sandy)

Mikel:

Hi Samantha!

Cats who scream can be really annoying. Unfortunately, they are really hard to ignore so they are often reinforced for their behavior – either because the owner “talks back” or gives in to the cats demands for food or to go outside. Another reason that cats meow incessantly is because they are bored. She needs to be kept busy and occupied enough that meowing for other things doesn’t occur to her!

You didn’t mention your cat’s age, but excessive vocalization and weight loss can be related to medical issues, so if your cat hasn’t had a yearly vet check, it would be worth bringing her in and mentioning the behavior.

It’s great that you are taking her on daily walks! But I think it’s time to give her some more mental stimulation and challenges to keep her busy. Since she is SO food motivated, why not get her working some food puzzles. Cats like this should not get ANY of their food for free. Every bite must be worked for or earned – which brings me to another suggestion. Cats that are food motivated and restless are often perfect candidates for clicker training. You can use the clicker to communicate with her that you like when she is NOT meowing – and you can also train other basic behaviors, such as sitting quietly before meals, or cute parlor tricks like “sit” and “high five.” What I like about clicker training is that it gives cat parents a way to give their cat attention for good behavior instead of responding to their cats when they are being annoying. There are many great resources for clicker training available online or in your local bookstore!

Since she has transitioned to more time indoors, I would also recommend boosting other types of enrichment – such as vertical space, window perches, bird feeders to watch, and playtime with interactive toys. Try to tire her out once or twice a day to help her be more relaxed…and IGNORE the meowing. Trust me, it will be hard at first, but if she gets nothing from meowing, she will do it less.

21-year-old cat won’t play anymore

I have a 21 year old female, Chloe. Chloe doesn’t play anymore. The vet says she’s healthy. I’ve tried several kinds of toys, the feathers, a ball on a stick, catnip mice (she used to play with those.). I just can not get her to play. Is it age related? How can I give he the mental stimulaton she needs? (Rebecca)

Mikel:

Hi Rebecca!

Congrats on Chloe living to such a wonderful senior age! I adore elderly cats, and I’m glad she is healthy. When playing with senior cats, it’s important to change your mind set on what play looks like – it might not be backflips or active chasing. In this case, the goal is mental engagement. That might mean just watching the toy, it might mean occasionally pawing at the toy. More activity than that would certainly be a bonus.

To get seniors more engaged, I recommend using small, quiet toys, such as a cat dancer or feather wand – but try moving it vvvveeeerrrrrrrrryyyy slowly – and try moving the toy under a towel or piece of tissue paper – that is often irresistible!

Most senior cats love warmth and looking out the window, so a bird feeder in a sunny window with a heated bed would probably be dreamy for Chloe. You can try encouraging her to use a food puzzle for treats – if she is very food motivated you could try them for some of her meals, but with most seniors we want to encourage them to eat as much as they want, so check with your vet about whether food puzzles might work for some of her meals. Other enrichment could include cat grass, self-grooming corner combers, and the HexBug Nano cat toy, which is my favorite “automatic” cat toy as it is small and quiet.

I hope you get to enjoy plenty more time with Chloe!

Cat likes to roll in freshly scooped litter box

After I scoop the litterbox my cat Bandit likes to go roll in it. Why does he do this and is there anything that I can do to stop this behavior? (Lorraine Anderson)

Mikel:

Lorraine,

Thank you for the question that made me smile. There are definitely some quirky behaviors that are hard to explain! Many cats do like to roll in dirt, this behavior not only feels good, but in the wild, it might have some protective effects, like preventing parasites or helping cats cool off. Cats may also roll to mark an area with their scent glands.

One possibility would be to harness train Bandit and take him out for a walk around the time you clean the litter box – so he can roll in some dirt rather than used kitty litter. Tactile enrichment, such as the CatIt Spa or corner groomers would give him some other ways to scratch that itch and spread his scent around. More playtime with interactive toys after cleaning the litter box might be a nice distraction for him. Finally, you could consider trying a different brand of kitty litter – although when changing litter, we always recommend doing so gradually and offering choices!

Interview of Mikel Delgado with David Feldman

Wow, everyday issues and answers, purrfect to share. I listened to an interview of Mikel Delgado with David Feldman just yesterday, full of information. (Bernadette)

Mikel:

Thank you for your kind words, Bernadette! David Feldman was a really nice guy, I had a lot of fun doing that interview!

Leash training a cat

Hi, I recently adopted 3 yo Peanut the cat from a rescue. We think he use to have a home but got lost or dumped at a feral colony. He is confident (tail always high in the air) and curious. He doesn’t mind being picked up tho he is very independent (not a lap cat) and sleeps at the foot of the bed. I would love to leash train him and I think he has the right personality but when I tried it once (no issues wearing the harness) he growled whenever I touched him while he was exploring (but he wasn’t pulling away). It concerned me enough that I took him back inside and he fought me (no injuries). Do you have any thoughts or suggestions on how to make this work? (Tanya)

Mikel:

Tanya,

Thank you for adopting a rescue kitty! Peanut sounds adorable. It sounds like when he’s outside he gets pretty focused on the task at hand (exploring) and doesn’t want to be disturbed. Since he doesn’t have any problem with wearing the harness (sometimes that is half the battle), I think that you could use clicker training to help Peanut understand that when he is on his lead, he should follow (and focus on) you when you call him. Target training in particular can show him that following a target will lead to rewards. These exercises need to be practiced indoors first so that he understands the task at hand – because once he is outside he is going to be distracted by all the things to check out there. But a solid base of training will help mitigate some of the effects of all that distraction!

When he is outside, avoid touching him, but instead use the target or other lure (toy or treats) to encourage him back indoors. I would pick him up only if you must. Start with very short ventures outside and keep the lead short at first so that it won’t be too difficult to lure him back in. As he gets more used to being outside, you can increase his time and range. Finally, try taking him outdoors before meals, when he’s a little hungry, so he is motivated to come back inside for food or treats.

Learning from responses to concerned cat parents’ issues

This is my first time reading your column, and I felt very educated by your responses. Thank you for giving well thought out replies to these concerned cat parents! (Jean McCormic)

Mikel:

Jean, thank you for reading! It’s a great place to be sharing information about cats!

Do you have a question for Mikel? Leave it in a comment!

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