sometimes i'm me, but most times i am a converged soul of 2 poets in india 1930 living in the post-renessaince bengal in the zenith of political happenings, who write the most hauntingly dreadful and captivating poetry ,then start having grim illusionic dreams of being killed by the same murder , and then. one fateful day , in a bengali poet convocation, they finally come facing each other, only to be hit by a striking eerie atmosphere, almost like the time stopped and started clicking backwards, in a moment of frightening realization they become conscious that they're lives had been fore-written by their poems. the last poem being about the dream of meeting someone for the first time and the last time , at the same time. time unfolds into them being each other's murderers who used their eloquent poetry to send out warnings seeking for the other, but they failed to pierce through each other's hefty hearts. and, with the setting of the dusk , the parition of india coming through, one escapes to the then-east-pakistan. seasons pass by, the poets' age, that electrifying poetry gets crumbled and forgotten, time flows by and the rivalry of the pen seeps within the paper and gets trapped into it for all time due. however they kept looking for one another, their unnamed other half, perhaps who had more to say or show than what could be seen through the poem's tint.
37 notes
·
View notes
i am a collapsing star with tunnel vision ‼️ but only for you ‼️ but only for you ‼️my head is stripped like a screw thats been tightened too many times ‼️ when i think of you ‼️ when i think of you ‼️ i will shield you from the waves ‼️ if they find you‼️ i will protect you ‼️ i will protect you ‼️ just tell me, tell me, tell me i, i am the only one ‼️ even if its not true ‼️ even if its not true ‼️‼️
38 notes
·
View notes
having a hum hallelujah night and. everyone always talks about 'i could write it better than you ever felt it' being about pete writing lyrics which makes sense considering he wrote the line but the bridge.... they wrote that one better than i ever felt it. it sounds almost desperate? feels a lot like clinging on to life using a song as an anchor- metaphorically but also thats literally what happened. it's just horrifically gut wrenching and captures all the emotion of the lyrics in music form So gorgeously. it sounds exactly how rock bottom feels- it's off key from the original (just off the key of reason etc etc), the guitars are all distorted and violent instead of quiet and clean, there's this big loud drum beat, everything is wrong and messed up and scary. but it's still sort of, weirdly hopeful? i think it's the vocal, up against this big guitar-y instrumental it's soft and pretty, like being vaguely aware that love and joy are still out there even if they're sort of floaty and distant and very much do not feel like concepts you can comprehend. idk man. i do not know music theory but that bridge makes me feel things
22 notes
·
View notes
i feel like all i’m talking ab this season is dennis and running away and how he’s finally emotionally returned from north dakota he’s trying so hard to stop running and be stationary BUT !!! it keeps shining through like dennis struggles to improve his mental health a season long arc IS REAL !!!!!! there are a thousand billion ways to read dennis as johnny but i can’t stop thinking about dennis using the johnny caricature the mask to explore and experiment with that part of himself that kept him running.
ireland dennis obsessed with authenticity bringing it to such a fake degree. obsessed with authenticity of the specific situation he is in rather than his general every day life. he’s still running away. wins the big game message when you embrace who you are then you win then life is good and enjoyable BUT HE MISSED IT !!!!! he was in north dakota !!!!!!!!! he was running and hiding. ireland when you love someone you never ever leave them behind realisation and acceptance he doesn’t need to keep running. reaching that conclusion a couple of years later than the gang, later than mac, as he always is one to do.
we’re like half way through the season and he’s been TRYING. trying so hard to be good and happy and not get riled up over small things. he’s trying to be stationary and be happy with who he is BUT ITS HARD !!!! it’s itching and raw! another season theme i’ve predicted is the cat poking his head out of the wall. it’s all happening as johnny. exploring who he is and who he can be, rather than the person he’s spent years thinking he Should be (seen with maureen and mandy). everything about him he’s kept private hidden down deep he’s using johnny to be public with. and macs just a boy in love !!!!! fuck !!!!! mac being in love with johnny confirmation that he is likeable, LOVEABLE even. that part of dennis he hates so so much he’s so terrified of letting loose. it won’t be the end of the world. restructuring his view of himself. he’s old and tried and can’t keep running, he doesn’t Want to keep running, BUT ITS HARD !!!! it’s so much harder than he ever thought it could be (and he Knew it would be difficult and painful that’s what kept him running! because running away was easier and comfier than facing reality ……. clip show i’m ALWAYS thinking about you!)
he’s ran away from mac before because he could see through him but now ??? mac can’t see it’s him. even against screaming proof mac won’t accept that he’s johnny. from macs pov there’s anger, anger that he can’t feel because he can’t confront dennis so he stays in denial. and dennis is angry with himself too, there’s plenty of self hatred behind using the mask of johnny. he’s spent years pushing mac away screaming at him to move on…. but dennis won’t let go he won’t physically let mac move on. everything i’ve ever loved has claw marks on. he’s clinging onto everything so desperately (clip show & chokes IM THINKIHG OF YOUUUUU) but can’t communicate what he actually wants. he can’t admit it to himself first and foremost there’s no way he’s saying out loud point blank to mac. who could go and Tell Everyone. he hates himself for loving mac for not being able to let go. he hates himself for running away and pushing and biting and then crawling back begging on his knees to go back in time.
he hates that mac came out and it changed everything and he hates that he can’t do the same. mac can’t confront dennis about his anger out of fear he’s going to run again, but ALL DENNIS WANTS is that confrontation. he Wants to be forced to be dragged screaming and kicking out of the closet like mac was. he doesn’t want to be brave and have to take that massive leap by himself. it’s too big too far !!!! he’s spent years making sure nobody suspects him or dares says anything. he was ready to suffocate in that wall. why should he have to follow that second cat out of the darkness why can’t the bird pull him out anymore (because he mauled and killed the bird. severed any chance of anyone else helping him out of the closet.)
why does he have to do it all himself now. everyone else begged mac to come out, they all knew for mac, why can’t they do the same for him. obviously they’re Not going to ! once upon a time he made sure they never ever will !!!!!!! it’s again dennis and communication, wanting everything “to go back to normal” to go back to how it was for everyone to forget what he said and did but they can’t. and they won’t. crawling back home takes time and effort and a lot more than opening the front door. you have to rebuild the foundations and structure too. the cat has made the wall his home, destroying dees apartment to keep himself safe, hidden and enclosed in the wall. he can’t change his mind one day and want to get pulled out without explicitly saying something, making amends.
29 notes
·
View notes
A list of songs that would simply end me if FOB played them live and I wasn't there:
Bishops Knife Trick
Twin Skeleton's (Hotel In NYC)
So Much (For) Stardust
Flu Game
Bishops Knife Trick
I Am My Own Muse
Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene and Stop Going To Shows)
Jet Pack Blues
Young Volcanoes
BISHOPS KNIFE TRICK.
23 notes
·
View notes
what was in the water at Bristow that made fall out boy decide to cut headfirst slide, replace it with 27 (which is right AFTER bang the doldrums), have she's my Winona as the 8 ball, AND have patrick cut the piano medley to instead play nobody puts baby in a corner in full on acoustic while saying it's the first song him and pete wrote like they write now. I think we moved on from the rammys of this far too quickly
8 notes
·
View notes
um hi. love your art so much but what is lethal company? I've never heard of it before you started talking about it 😅
lethal company is a co-op horror game where you play as an anonymous scavenger in a jumpsuit visiting different planets and collecting scrap for the eponymous "company." the base game allows a max of four players (though a thriving modding community has expanded lobbies significantly) and the proximity voice chat along with an awful lot of things that want to kill you makes it both intensely terrifying and deeply comedic, which is all part of its appeal. i got it into it hardcore after watching this legendary stream (this is literally the thing that sold me on the game lol) and i have an irrepressible urge to mash all my interests together like im mickeys dick smasher so it didnt take long for me to go "what if fall out boy in lethal company" because thats how my brain works
10 notes
·
View notes